#also i think i need at least two more people helping to run the blog

[malikson]

thinking about how to improve tomlinsonsource, so if you’ve got ideas let me know

[asunflowerana]

𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐭

summary: usual grocery day with your husband

with: bokuto koutaro, oikawa tooru, sakusa kyoomi and osamu miya.

n/a: brought this one from my old blog, one of my favorites. I'm thinking about making a part 2 with more hq boys, I personally enjoy imagining them dealing with grocery with me 😂. hope you guys enjoy!

⊛ bokuto koutaro

a child inside a full-grow 190cm male body, that's what he is. The fact that he still pouts whenever you remind him that "no, you can't get inside the cart baby, you won't fit" proves the point. But besides his childish mood, he can turn your time shopping a lot funnier.

he does cart races, searches for lower prices like hunting a treasure, throw his hands in the air when he finds his favorite snacks and cackles at every single brand with a silly name. He's a total dork, but his excitement is so endearing that you cannot help but absorb it. It's actually sweet, the way he lightly takes a domestic duty. He's also helpful, willingly carrying the bags to the car, and storing the groceries later at home.

he yearns to stay close to you, so even if his both hands are grabbing the cart handle, at least some arm-brushing will happen. He'll feel pretty lost if you both need to part ways through the market, but it's cute how he beams when you guys find each other later.

favorite section: breakfast food section (he's addicted to cereal), and meat section.

what you usually hear from him: "babe, can we buy this?"

⊛ oikawa tooru

if there's something Tooru doesn't look forward to, is grocery day. He even tried to wipe it off the fridge calendar a few times before, but you're too good to be fooled. "the Santos already ordered by delivery, why can't we do the same?" and he always uses the neighbor's card to try to convince you, whining like his teenager version would.

but one way or another, you always get him to go. If he's in a bad mood, he'll probably sulk in the beginning, lazily riding the cart while sighing every two minutes 'cause this is a total "waste of time". But as the shopping proceeds, he gets used to it, even forgetting what he was so grumpy about when a product catches his attention. With some subtle kisses and a small treat, you can even get a smile out of him. 

He likes to wrap his arm around your back or keep you close by the waist. Not having you there with him it's the worst thing it could happen, so he needs to make sure you stay by his side (also because he simply likes holding you).

favorite section: checkouts (not a surprise), and cosmetics section (he can spend a good amount of time selecting body products).

what you usually hear from him: "are we done?"; "baby, I need your help. This one, or this one?".

⊛ sakusa kiyoomi

He's the one looking forward to this day. He gets uneasy when things run out in the house, so going shopping is almost necessary for his peace of mind. What he doesn't look forward to, though, is dealing with people at the supermarket. Most precisely, the lines, but let's not talk about it to not ruin the mood.

he's very selective, taking whatever time he has to inspect and be sure of the products, in case it isn't a common choice of yours. He appreciates being aware of what you are consuming, not only for being an athlete but because he cares about your health. He likes to share what he's been learning from the team's nutritionist, but he is not a dictator: if you want to treat yourself to some tasty sweets or snacks, he won't get in the way. He'll even join the party.

He'll offer his arm for you to wrap your own, or hold hands. He's grateful to have your company, so he'll cherish it as much as he can. He's also very protective if the place or the lines are too crowned, keeping you by his side and holding you close with his arm.

favorite section: cleaning products (you have no idea how relieved he gets when he goes there).

what you usually hear from him: "I know you want it. Go ahead, put in the cart"; "tsc, they always put the gloves way back there"; "these stupid lines. Again."

⊛ osamu miya

The king of groceries. He's used to doing this two, or three times a week, and it never gets boring. The experience has made him smarter about where and when it is best to buy, plus he has a good eye when it comes to product quality and price. So yeah, you have almost nothing to worry about when Osamu Miya is your grocery partner. Almost.

He's very chill and helpful while shopping, but you better keep a good eye on the cart: it'll get filled to the brim in one minute. When Osamu likes something, he makes a point of buying as much as he can. Once, he filled almost three entire carts, and half of one was just from rice bags. Someone might think you have a whole volleyball team as a family with the amount of food he wants to take home.

Hands on your back, shoulder, waist, any free space he has to keep you close to him – and he'll keep it there the whole time. Touch is one of his love languages, so there's no way he won't keep in contact with you.

favorite section: fruit and vegetables section, and bakery section (he loves the smell of fresh ingredients).

what you usually hear from him: "sweetheart, just one more. It'll be the last, I promise"; "hope Tsum doesn't visit us today"

© asunflowerana 2024 — all rights reserved.

[storiesofsvu]

Decadent Desires Ch 4

Emily Prentiss x reader warnings: language, alcohol, sexually charged conversations and situations, minor kinks slightly explored. Happy (early) Birthday @d33pd3sire-blog !! I hope you have a wonderful day!🩵🩵 (thank you for the kofi)

Emily was blessed with gorgeous weather when she woke up the following Friday, the sun cascading though the sky, flooding the city with the perfect warmth that would last through until the evening. She was pleasantly surprised that she was feeling considerably less nervous about tonight than she had been about your original meeting. Not that she had any better idea what she was doing or about to get herself into, but that she knew you were going to be a much better match. On top of finding you physically attractive she also enjoyed spending the evening with you, the conversation had flowed smoothly, you were smart, quick witted and there was an underlying hint of sexuality that you’d kept just beneath the first layer, ready to reveal once the discussion had finally shifted in that direction. And that was one she was more than eager to explore.

She made sure to arrive at the Conrad with more than enough time to spare, checking in and dropping off whatever she didn’t need in the suite before heading back down to the Summit. The rooftop lounge had an extensive cocktail menu, delectable food offerings and incredible views of downtown D.C. and The Capitol. She grabbed a table and ordered a glass of wine while she waited, looking through all the options on their menu.

The sound of your infectious laugh was what pulled her attention upwards a few minutes later, looking up to find you chatting with the hostess, gesturing in the direction of her table. You had a simple yet gorgeous plum cocktail dress on, the top dipping down to show more cleavage than the last time she’d seen you, the bodice nicely fitted while the skirt flared out. Your hair was loose, curled nicely and your makeup darker, more seductive as you gave her a little wave with a grin before walking over to the table.

“Hope I wasn’t keeping you.” You smiled.

“No, not at all.” She stood from the table, giving you the opportunity to take in her full outfit, form fitting dress pants and a gorgeous red blouse that showed off the curve of her chest perfectly. Her hand landed on your elbow as the two of you leant in, kissing cheeks before you slid into the other chair.

“How was the week?” You asked, picking up the cocktail menu to look through.

“Surprisingly good.” Emily replied, nearly confusing herself at the realization, “got a few of our snags figured out and the pile of papers in my inbox is finally smaller than the outbox.”

“Sounds like you need an assistant.” You teased from across the table, and she huffed a laugh.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think the bureau would like it too much if my signature was forged on everything.”

“Well at least you managed to catch a break.” You offered and she nodded.

By the time the server came by the two of you had managed to shake off any early jitters, slipping into an easy rhythm of conversation. You got a glass of sangria and Emily ordered the cheese and charcuterie plates, tempura shrimp, and scallops to share.

“So, I know you’ve been all over,” you started, taking a sip of your drink, “why choose D.C. to settle?”

“It’s a long story.” She chuckled, “but there were people I wanted to be close to, a few things to keep an eye on here. Just so happened to be close to Quantico.”

“Were you always interested in some form of law enforcement?”

“It was more about helping people, learning how to fully understand the whole psychology of it, why they do what they do. I was always interested in more than just chasing down the bad guys.”

“I’m curious then… why return to the BAU from Interpol?” You asked and Emily’s head titled.

“You know about Interpol?”

“You’re not the only one who knows how to run a background check.” You chuckled, “you may be the fed, but I still like to vet who I spend my personal time with, especially behind closed doors.”

“You’re smart.” She smiled, “I like that.”

“So?” You raised a brow, “what made Washington so much more appealing than London?”

“I missed it. That team had been my family for years and I wanted to come back to them. I knew there was a potential offer hiding in the wings that wouldn’t demote me in a sense and I wanted to help out an old friend. He only trusted me with the job, and I didn’t want the team to fall into jurisdiction of someone who wouldn’t do it justice or only wanted to disband them.”

“How’d you like Unit Chief compared to now?”

“Honestly I think I prefer it.” She laughed, “though I wouldn’t dream of stepping back down into it for the same reasons I took it in the first place.”

“Last thing you want is Bailey directly in charge of your team.” You grinned and she rolled her eyes.

“He’s got his claws deep enough in already.” She groaned.

“Too many politics involved with Section Chief I assume?” You raised a brow and she nodded, a look of near melancholy in her eyes as she switched her gaze to look out on the horizon. “You miss being out in the field, don’t you?”

“Paperwork is menial. And tedious. And so much of it seems entirely fucking pointless. When we were all mainly working from home still, it at least kept me occupied, tied to the job, like I still had a purpose. But now we’re back in the office, my team gets to run off into the face of danger and I’m stuck with the pencil pushers attending meetings that are entirely redundant. The only time I end up opening my mouth is to remind them the BAU is an integral part of the bureau, and they shouldn’t shut it down.”

“Sounds like it’s definitely about time you have yourself some fun.” You rested your chin on the back of your hand, a smirk on your lips and Emily chuckled. When she looked up at you, you could see her eyes darkening just the slightest.

“I suppose it is.”

You were interrupted before things could move further, plates of food now scattered across the table that you were both picking through, loading up your own side plates to get a little bit of everything.

“You mentioned UCONN last time.” Emily started, taking a sip of her refilled wine, “are you from Connecticut or did you just go to school there?”

“Born and raised, figured I may as well take advantage of a rent free college experience while I could.”

“Did you know Heather back then or was it just sheer coincidence?”

“Our parents ran in the same circles.” You replied with a huff, taking a bite of food and you noticed the very brief change of expression on Emily’s face before she managed to conceal it and you laughed. “Before you ask, no I’m not drowning in wealth. The Dunbar’s come from very old money and they’ve always been smart about it, they know how to invest, how to make money into even more money. I’ve never been able to understand it.”

“I assume your parents didn’t either?” She asked and you practically snorted.

“Not in the least. They liked to pretend they knew wealth, shove their way into all the fancy places and while the façade was enough to win over most people, it all came from an inheritance my mother got. Could have been worth something if my father wasn’t blowing it all away on fast cars while mother spent all of her days at the casino chain smoking, binge drinking and consistently losing.” You sighed, taking a large sip of wine, “I’m lucky there was enough left for my college education.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You shrugged, “the discrepancies between our bank accounts doesn’t mean the Dunbar’s were better parents or anything.”

“Oh, I’ve heard.” Emily chuckled.

“What about you? Good relationship with your parents?”

“It’s… complicated.”

“So, no?” You laughed, pulling one from her.

“Mother travels a lot for work, she isn’t based here. We tried to kinda work through things when I was younger but between our careers it just never happened, and I’m fine with that. Spares me the lecture about still not being married or giving her grand kids.”

You let out a louder laugh, “why does it seem that that’s any mom’s only concern with their kid’s lives? There’s more than one way to succeed and be happy and in my opinion that’s all that really matters.”

“Exactly.” Emily smiled across at you, “there’s so much more to be concerned about.”

“Mmm!” You suddenly changed gears as you took your first bite of a scallop, “these are incredible.”

“You haven’t had them?” She raised a brow, “I assumed you’ve been here before.”

“Yeah, Conrad’s a pretty high choice of stay for any visiting politician but I’ve only ever had time for drinks. Try them.” You urged, breaking off another piece on your fork and holding it up to her, your other hand cupped underneath it so it wouldn’t drip on the table. She barely hesitated, lips wrapping around the fork as you gently pulled it out of her mouth, not even blinking before scooping up the last bite into your own mouth on the same utensil.

“Oh my god.” She mumbled over the food, “you weren’t kidding.”

“You’ll learn to trust my suggestions sooner or later, I’m sure of it.” You grinned at her across the table.

“I have no doubt, you wouldn’t guide me astray, now would you?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” You smirked across the table at her, and Emily felt a tingle shoot through her body.

A few minutes later the server came by to clear the dinner plates and offer a dessert menu that you turned down, feigning to the server that you’d had enough, and Emily asked for the cheque.

“Not a sweets fan?” She asked, polishing off her wine and you chuckled over the rim of your glass.

“I prefer to get my sugar a different way.”

“So you are interested in moving this upstairs?”

“Well, I sure hope so. I was bargaining on more than just dinner tonight.” Your lips turned upwards in a sly smile that Emily returned, slipping her credit card back into her wallet.

She guided you up to the ninth floor, letting you into the suite first. A small entry way opened up on the left into a large studio space, a breakfast bar splitting up the counter where the microwave and fridge were and the sitting area. A circular table with two chairs, a small sectional that faced the television and a thin divider that hid the bedroom space, the bathroom connected to that.

“Help yourself.” Emily gestured toward the bottle of wine on the breakfast bar, and you wasted no time in pulling down two glasses from a cupboard to fill up. Sliding one across the counter to her you settled in on a stool, unsurprised when she returned with a file folder in hand. “To be completely honest, I’m not even really sure how to do this part.” She let out a slightly awkward laugh and you hummed.

“Don’t overcomplicate it. Think of it as a business transaction with a little bit of negotiation.”

“I guess that’s actually a good place to start.” She took a sip of wine, “I think the first step should be letting you know that this is exactly that, a business transaction. It’s casual, and I don’t want you to think of it as an exclusive relationship. I’m busy, we’re both busy, if you happen to see someone else that’s more than okay as long as everything is done safely.”

“Understood.” You slipped a sheet of paper from your purse, sliding it across to her before resting your chin on the back of your hand. “I figured you’d want a clean bill of health.”

“Thank you.” She tucked it into the back of the folder, “I guess money would be the next step?”

“I’ll save you the headache.” You snagged the agreement from her, eyes scanning the page until you found the blank lines to be filled in about allowance and picked up a pen. “I’m also giving you one hell of a deal, considering I don’t need to do this for money my rates are extremely low.”

“Noted.” She laughed.

“Considering our schedules I’m going to veto the allowance and say we just do a price per date, there’s likely weeks we’re not going to see each other, and I want things to be fair. One hundred for casual dinner and drinks or something of the equal amount of time that’s simply companionship.” You began to scraw notes out on the agreement, “two hundred for a date night and sex. Three for anything longer than a standard date and if you drag me to any of those horrendous FBI galas, I’m tacking on another hundred.”

She barked out a laugh, “more than understandable.”

“I expect you to pick up the tabs most nights, but if there ever is a day that I plan or invite you out onto, don’t feel obligated. Then treats and gifts are obviously welcomed and encouraged but that is up to your discretion, think of them as rewards.”

“And you’re sure about those rates?”

“Considering the costs hotel rooms like this will run you? Absolutely.” You laughed softly.

“Do you have preferences when it comes to gifts?” She asked and you scrunched your nose.

“Not particularly? Gift cards and cash obviously work, I could use a few new pairs of shoes, a dress or two, jewelry’s always nice, standard date type gifts. Could definitely use some new lingerie sets, and I mean…” you glanced over to her, that sly smile back on your cheeks, “new toys are always fun.”

“I do not disagree with you there.” She grinned back, “so let’s talk sex.”

“I am curious, is this about you needing to get off, relieve some of that stress and relax for once, or will you be the one fucking me into next week.”

“Christ.” Emily muttered, the tingling in her body moving lower, surveying you with a gleam in her eye. “I was thinking a mutual benefit but to be blunt I’m the one wearing the strap more often than not and I have no qualms with fucking you into next month.”

It was your turn to feel the fire prickling under your skin, heading south as you tried not to shift too obviously in your chair, “a confident woman with a cock? I love it.”

“You won’t be disappointed.” She assured you and you huffed a small laugh.

“I’m sure I won’t.” You took another sip of wine, “so let’s talk kinks. I’ll tell you right now the hard off the table ones are piss play, scat play, major pet play, age play, I’m not really into anything involving food in the bedroom and please nothing involving feet.”

“You can count yourself safe from all of that.” Emily laughed, pulling a warm smile from you, “I personally don’t like being restrained or blindfolded, but I have no issues tying you up.”

“As long as you’re not using work issued cuffs.” You noted.

“Do I dare ask?” She raised a brow in your direction.

“I dated a local cop in college, those things hurt.”

“Oh, I know.” She laughed back, ���I’m partial to silk ties, it’s nice to keep things pretty.”

“Agreed.” You smiled at her before glancing back down at the agreement, flipping through the pages and she watched as your brow furrowed.

“What?”

“There’s nothing in here about how to address you.” You looked back up at her.

“I thought we went over that last week.” She laughed, “just Emily is fine.”

“No ma’am?” You asked and she was very quick to shut you down.

“God, please no.”

“Most women like the title mistress, or mommy.”

“Oh…” Emily’s nose scrunched, “I guess I hadn’t thought about that….”

“I mean some do go with daddy if you’re more inclined.”

“Is that like, an all the time thing? Or just in the bedroom?”

“Could be either. I’ve heard of relationships where it’s constant and I do find that over the top but every once in a while in bed, it’s kinda hot. I mean after all, one really just wants to be a good girl for mommy.”

Emily paused, letting your words sink in for a moment as she tried to figure out how she felt about the whole thing, especially considering she was about to be your sugar mommy.  “Let’s… bookmark it for later.” She looked up at you, catching a small nod but it was the wicked smirk on your face that caught her attention first, “what?”

“Nothing.” You shook your head, “I’m just not that surprised you might be intrigued. I heard you had quite the fun time entertaining Benjamin Reeves last month.”

“Oh god…” Muttering, she dropped her head, running her hand over her face and you let out a playful laugh.

“Walls really do talk.” You teased, flipping through the rest of the file, “speaking of…there’s no NDA in here?”

“I didn’t think it was necessary.” She shrugged, “there’s a piece near the end saying anything involving my work that comes up in conversation isn’t to be publicly aired anywhere but that’s all I really need.”

“Well,” finding the piece you scrawled your signature under it, “you don’t have to worry about me running to the press. Your secrets are safe with me.” You flipped the papers back in order and closed the file, sliding it back across the counter to Emily before scooping up your wine glass to walk around the counter. “Now… I do believe we’re done with the boring part…”

You approached her where she sat on the stool, your wine glass coming to rest on the counter only an inch from her own as her body turned toward you. Her hand found your waist, nudging you closer to her so you could slot yourself between her legs while she leant forward, her free hand brushing your hair back from your face. You could feel her breath hot on your skin, lips parting ever so slightly as you leant in, eyes flicking from her own down to her mouth, the distance about to be closed when there was a sudden, very loud, and repetitive buzzing on the counter.

Emily groaned, her eyes falling shut as her head fell back and you let out an annoyed huff.

“I swear to god if that’s fucking Heather I’m resigning.” You reached towards your phone at the same moment she did.

“Nope, it’s me.” She opened the screen, groaning again as she read the text messages, “and I have got to go.”

“Political crap or serial killer?”

“Serial killer.” She stood from the stool, her hand squeezing your wrist while she leaned, kissing your cheek quickly.

“Go save the world.” You raised your wine glass in a salute to her as she grabbed her bag from the couch.

“Please, finish the wine, feel free to stay.”

“I’ll take the bottle home.” You replied.

“I’m sorry.”

“No need.” You assured her with a soft smile, “next time.”

“Oh. Guaranteed.” She nodded, “get home safe. I’ll text you when we’re back.”

“I look forward to it.”

With another apologetic smile she was gone from the suite, leaving you to dump the remnants of her wine glass into yours, wandering up to the window to take in the city views as you finished it.

_______________

@mickey-gomez @momlifebehard @daddy-heather-dunbar @maybe-a-humanbean @rustyzebra @leftoverenvy @kades95 @dextur @supercriminalbean @emilyprentisssluvr @lex13cm @zizzlekwum @emobabeyy @riveramorylunar @scorpsik @onmykneesformarvel @inlovewithemilyprentiss @regalmilfs4me @ara-a-bird @five-bi-five-mind @inlovewithmiddleagewomen @hotchs-bitch @ollysmulti @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @hopedoesntknow @venromanova @waitaminuteashh @noahrex @imlike-so-gaydude @wittygutsy @cx-emerald-cx @momily @nilaues @borinxnovak @soverign @v3nusxsky @blackbird-brewster @mccdreamys-writes @l4yne @obsessedwjill @supercorpstan97 @asolitaryrose3 @honeyycatt @trauma-factory @lisqueen @mrs-prentiss @whitewinewithice

[fanfics-with-coffee]

To be kind, To be a fool

This has only been proofread and edited by a sleep deprived me sooooo, I also wrote it in a daze from 1AM to 6AM. I'm back in my Baldurs Gate 3 hole and I've been so very inspired from so many other fanfic writers I got back on this blog

You did it, you saved the prisoners from Moonrise Towers and everybody is back, safe and sound at least for tonight. You and Astarion are holding back from the festivities, instead talking about your act of heroism and why you do it. You say you choose to be kind for who else will, he says you're choosing to be a fool for what else is kindness if not foolish.

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort Pairing: Astarion x reader Words: 4400

Its doubtful if Last Light Inn had been quite so lively as when you returned in the raggedy old boat with the prisoners from Moonrise Towers. Once they had been cleared, everyone had ran to their loved ones or simply rejoiced in the warmth of the fire, ever burning away the darkness that threatened to creep inside any crevice it could get it's cold claws into. And of course they soothed their dry throats with the little wine and ale that was left behind when the shadow curse had blanketed the land. The two boys manning the bar were running around relentlessly, trying their best to fill every empty goblet and mug they could spot, leaving no one without a drink. It’d probably only be hours before Jaheira had to call it a night so they wouldn’t run out of the little liquid joy they had left. But until then, the celebrations were loud and proud.

For a moment, things were bright, despite the dark sky. 

“What a ruckus, you could almost think that Lathander himself had been in attendance.” Astarion mused, one hand gracefully swirling a glass of wine while the other rested on his upper arm. He was leaning against the wall beside you in a corner of the inn that hadn’t been filled with people. Not that it was difficult, even with the prisoners free it was barely enough to fill the tables and chairs. You smiled, watching the tieflings try to catch up after the devastating nights apart. 

“If Lathander was here, I think there’d be a lot more dancing on tables and a lot more wine.”

“True… And a lot more fucking.” Astarion replied with that signature cheeky smile he always pulls when he’s said something salacious or teasing. You couldn’t help but laugh at his comment, nodding along to his line of thought. He wasn’t wrong. 

“You’re probably right. Well at least we could let these people see another dawn, I think in a sense maybe Lathander really is here.” You pull your eyes from the happy faces and let them reflect in your mug of ale before downing another mouthful of it. The smooth, delicate taste of honey coats your tastebuds and leaves a pleasant warmth in your stomach.

“I didn’t take you for the god honoring type, you know? Besides, these people didn’t need Lathander, they had their own little ray of sunshine coming to their rescue anyways. Our own little goody-two-shoe altruist in shining armor.” He teases you, reminding you that there weren’t any gods in the belly of Moonrise Towers. Yet beneath the lighthearted tone you detected something else, a familiar bitterness and disapproval that he had given you before. That he gave you whenever you did something ‘too nice’, ‘too self sacrificing’ or ‘too cheaply’. You had long ago started ignoring it, instead taking it as a sign you probably did the right thing.

“Mmmh, mayhaps. I mean we were there anyways, and I wouldn’t have wanted to be left there to the Absolutists if I was stuck either.” You give him an answer you know he’ll hate and you made sure to slather some extra kindness in there as well just to really make a point. “And I find enough reward in watching these people.”

Astarion rolls his eyes hard enough you worry they’re gonna get stuck to the back of his head. You watch him, unable to hold in a laugh as he pretends to vomit from how ‘disgustingly sweet’ you are. You don’t say anything for a moment as he lets his eyes roam the room, the soft light of the torches reflecting upon his white locks of hair. You can see the disgust in his eyes as he watches them, and you could only guess as to why he felt so strongly about your acts of kindness. 

“I can’t wait to see the day you realize that none of these people would do the same for you… When someone betrays your kindness and I can stand there and laugh, telling you ‘I told you so’.”

He says it nonchalantly, as if it’s a fact. He let’s his own hatred for the world seep through every syllable yet he hides it behind a face that says he doesn’t care. You expected comments like this to come from him, you expected resistance to helping the helpless. Yet something about his words right now makes your chest tighten in anger, the notion that you were simply too stupid to realize that not everyone was kind. That he was maybe smarter and more experienced than you for seeing the cruelness in the world. You turn sharply to face him, slamming your mug down a little too harshly on a table close by. Astarions eyes meet yours, he never expected you to react like this, you had never before raised your voice at him. The air has grown tense. 

“Astarion, I am kind. I am not a fool, and you should do well to remember that there is a difference.” Your words are sharp yet you’re thankful no one else has seemed to notice you two. “I know that people will hurt me, and betray me. That people will not always do the same as I would’ve done. But if I don’t help, then who will? I have the power to make a change and I’ve chosen to use that power. You don’t have to agree, but you’re not allowed to tell me that I am wrong for deciding to be kind.”

He can see the hurt in your eyes as you correct him. That it’s not a question about your own navïte making you help others, but the fact you put conscious effort into being kind, despite the risk it has. Cold, uncomfortable embarrassment washes over him like ice water. A feeling he despises and so he sets it alight with anger instead, feeling himself burn with it as he finds himself again. His fingers clench around the half empty glass of wine he continues to hold onto. Thoughts swirl around in his head, trying to find the ones that will hurt the most, a painful payback for embarrassing him.

“And pray tell what is the difference? You waste not just your own time helping these idiots, but ours too. We were here to find a cure, yet all we’ve done is listen to sob stories and rescue people who will most likely die on the road to Baldurs Gate anyways. What kind of fool would waste so much energy and time on things that will lead to the exact same result anyways, I believe that’s actually what people call insanity.” He makes himself appear taller as he pushes himself off the wall and stands in front of you, scowling as he meets your gaze. 

How dare you tell him that he’s wrong? After 200 years of cruel torment and nights spent around people who could not give less of a shit about him, you’re telling him there’s people out there that care? And if so then it’s even worse, because that would mean no one simply knew he was in pain. Was Astarions own torment not enough for people to even notice?

No, he knows what he went through. No one cares about others' torment unless there’s something in it for them, even if just so they could feel a little better about themselves and comes at no expense of theirs. It’s always just about ourselves, Astarion just skips the other steps and puts himself first. Why could you just not do the same? Why did you have to go out of your way for anyone else?

“Fine, call me a fool. Insane, även. Say what you want about me, Astarion, but I will always choose to be kind. I’m sorry no one made that choice for you before, I am. B-”

“Do not tell me about kindness, y/n, there is no altruistic kindness like the one you speak of it’s a performance people put on for others.” His words are cold and sharp, they bite into your heart in much the same way his teeth pierce your skin. Painful. “We should all put ourselves first, it’s what everyone wants to do anyways! Skip the damn pleasantries and just be honest about it at the very least. I’m tired of having to look beyond the kindness just to see their true intentions.”

He’s rambling without thinking, remembering all the kind words and touches he’s received just because someone wanted to get in his pants. All the faux acts of kindness he watched Cazador perform so he could get what he wanted, or even just to make sure whatever cruel act he had in mind would hurt even more. All the nights in the beginning where he debated how he could save a victim, just to realize he’d get nothing but pain in return. The kind acts he himself performed in hopes of receiving something kind in return. 

The way he seduced you just to make sure he had safe passage to Baldurs Gate, to a cure. 

You were left speechless, caught off-guard by the outburst of emotions. You knew he was selfish but this was rooted deeper and maybe you should’ve realized when he had finally told you about Cazador and his ‘siblings’. You clenched your hands, trying to find something to refute his points. To prove him wrong. Yet you have nothing of worth to sooth his pain. He sees your hesitations and assumes he’s finally gotten through to you, he’s won. His red eyes leave yours to once again look at the others smiling faces, not wanting you to see the disappointment grow in him as he realizes he was right.

“So you’ve never been kind just to be kind?”

“No. Never.”

He rakes a hand through his hair, letting the motion tilt his head back as he finally raises his glass of wine, downing the rest of it. The sudden action makes the glass flow over the corners of his mouth and the deep red liquid coats his chin and drips down on his chest, staining the white fabric of his shirt. It bleeds into the criss-cross stitching and travels further down before he has time to react. 

You gasp and grab an old handkerchief stuffed in your pocket, quickly moving to try and save his favorite shirt. It's instinctual, thoughtless. Even when you’re mad at him and even though he’s furious at you, you try to help him. As soon as the cloth touches him, shame spreads like a disease through him, regret taking root in his chest somewhere where his beating heart should’ve been. 

He hates it.

“Don’t touch me.” He bites back, snatching the handkerchief from your hand to do the job himself. You instantly step back, putting your hands up to make sure you give him space.

“Tsk, I’m going to bed. Good night, y/n.” He’s aggressively dabbing at the stain as he starts walking away, trying to soak up as much as possible but it’s clear it's a useless endeavor, it will forever remain stained.

“Astarion!” You call out to him before he gets too far and he stops momentarily, turning to finally look at you. 

He’s met with pity reflecting off of your eyes in the lowly lit room. 

He hates it.

You say something else but suddenly the sounds of the celebrations drown out whatever it was. He doesn’t even try to listen and simply turns around to find the room that he had been given as a thank you from Jaheira. He didn’t need your pity, he didn’t tell you about his past because he wanted your pity, anyone would feel pity for him if he told them what had happened to him. He wanted you to… care. Foolishly, he wanted you to care about him, about what had happened to him. He wanted you to listen to his issues and maybe, just maybe, you’d want to help him like you helped everyone else around you. And maybe you’d do something without asking for anything in return. 

Yet tonight, he reminded himself that no such thing as true kindness existed. And to expect you to care about him despite who he was at his core was foolish itself. Your kindness came at a cost he hadn’t even thought about; You expected him to change in return for your kindness. He was mean, he was selfish and he wouldn’t let you change him for anything.

He turns to close the door to the room he was staying in, the feeling of his shirt clinging to his chest uncomfortable and wet. Astarions eyes find you in the same corner he left you, yet your eyes didn’t meet. Gale and Karlach had come up to you, pulling your attention to them. You had quickly started smiling and laughing again, one hand on Karlachs shoulder in a calming manner. 

Why had he even let himself hope that you would follow after him?

He closed the door.

The hours dragged on, the darkness in the Shadowlands making day and night nearly indistinguishable. The only thing that made time feel real was the ever waning torches, slowly burning out. And while you felt like it must’ve been a fortnight of drinking, laughing and talking, it can’t actually have been more than three hours based on how many torches had already burned out and been replaced. You had been convinced to join Karlach by the grill, Wyll telling stories of his time as the Blade of Frontiers in the soft glow. You listened and laughed, at points discussing the actual validity of these stories. But in the back of your mind, you couldn’t let the thought of Astarion go. He hadn’t left the room he was staying in, all alone in there, perhaps still trying to clean the shirt he always seemed to wear. 

As people finally sated themselves and found their companions, the celebrations died down to  a quiet mumble amongst those unable to sleep. The children had long ago been told to head to bed, only occasionally peeking their heads out from the dorm or coming out to ask for a late night snack. Jaheira herself had taken over the bartending but was now stuck pleasantly talking with some fists that had sat down after their patrol shift. Even most of your companions had headed to bed, either in the dorm or at camp depending on their preference, Astarion had specifically called dibs on the single private room. 

“Well, I think it’s best I call it a night as well!” Karlach stood up and stretched her muscular arms over her head. “You should do the same, soldier, can’t have our tactician getting sloppy!” She smiled at you, expectantly putting her hands on her hips as she waited for you to stand up and walk with her.

“Oh, I think I’m going to stay up just a little more. I’m sorta enjoying the quiet murmur in here, and I haven’t really had the time to speak with Jaheira since we came back.” You lied, trying to give her a convincing smile. But you couldn’t hold her eyes with yours, instead turning your head to watch the door to Astarions room, trying to make it look casual. 

“Riiight… You know, I don’t know what’s going on between you and fangs but I wouldn’t take anything he says to heart. He’s sorta dumber than he wants us to think, so whatever he told you… Eh well, I dunno, I’m not the smartest myself.” She laughs at herself, the alcohol having had an effect on her after quite a few bottles. “But I am the strongest! So if he needs  a good assbeating then I’m here for ya. I know he can say some pretty rude stuff at times even if he doesn’t mean it. What is it people say? Hurt people, hurt people?”

“You’re right Karlach...” You smile at her, she may say that she’s not smart but she knows people better than most. “But it’s fine between me and Astarion, we just had a disagreement but it’s nothing to worry about, I don’t think. Though I know an assbeating wouldn’t help, but I appreciate the offer.”

“Well if you say so, soldier! I’ll see you in the morning then I guess.” She gives you a hard pat on your back before leaving, yawning loudly as she walks towards the dorm room, softly ‘shoo’-ing another tiefling child back into the room.

You spend some time just watching the embers of the firepit burn, feeling the heat hitting your face in waves and drying out your lips. You drink the last of the wine in your cup and lick your lips, standing from the stool to leave the empty cup at the bar. Your eyes find the wooden door again and you spend a long moment debating if it’s a good idea. Facing Astarion right now would be awkward and draining, it would even risk you two blowing up at each other again. Yet you know he was hurt, that much was obvious.

The knock is soft and you’re uncertain if he could even hear it over the sound of the fireplace in the room. You consider that maybe he had gone to bed in the end, it had been hours since you saw him after all. 

“Astarion? Can I come in?” You call out softly, afraid to wake him if he was in trance but wanting to give it at least one more shot before you give up. It takes a moment but suddenly the door opens ever so slightly, just enough to let you know it was open but not enough to see him in the doorway. You take that as a ‘yes’ and carefully push it open further. You hadn’t even heard his footsteps come to the door nor leave, yet when you slip through the crack of the door he’s sitting on the bed. The room is dark, long shadows being cast from the dying fire. The moon lights up his pale skin and even paler hair, reflecting off of him as a glow. His legs are crossed and he’s leaned back on his hands, his chest exposed. He looks as if he’s made of marble, his chest doesn’t even move with breaths as you watch him, a quirk of his vampirism you’ve realized. You make sure to close the door behind you, never turning away. 

Neither of you say anything. There’s a book open  next to him on the bed, it’s the sequel of some book he had picked up early on in your adventure. You had gotten the sequel for him after he expressed his enjoyment for the first one, it had cost you a gold but it was worth it. You stare at it, unwilling to meet his gaze directly. Yet his is firmly placed on you, indifferent and icy.

“Well? Were you just here to get your handkerchief back or did you want something?” He spoke first, raising an eyebrow.

“...Is it as good as the first book?” You ask, finally looking him in the eyes. He furrows his brows before he looks at the book next to him, realizing what you meant.

“It’s decent. I liked the twist in the first book so it has a lot to live up to, but it’s an enjoyable read. But I’m sure you’re not here for some midnight book club so out with it. What do you want?” He’s clearly pushing you away, but the fact that he opened the door when he heard it was you must mean he’s willing to listen.

“I wanted to come see how you were doing. Did you manage to get the stain out of your shirt?”

“I’m fine, thank you. And no, I did not, I will have to try to find someone who knows prestidigitation to get it out, I believe. Now if you excuse me, I’d quite like to get back to my bo-” He’s about to pick his book back up, clearly done with the conversation if you weren’t going to get to any point.

“I also wanted to apologize.” 

He raises an eyebrow and looks at you, giving you his full attention and newfound interest in the conversation.

“I snapped at you, and while I don’t think I was in the wrong for doing that-” He rolls his eyes, making it clear he disagrees with you but he lets you keep talking. “I shouldn’t have made it sound like being kind was an effortless choice and that you always can and should choose. It’s not easy every single time. So I’m sorry.” You try to gauge his reaction, see if he gives you any sort of response. He doesn’t at first, his face difficult to make out in the drastic lighting. The distance between you may only be a couple meters but right now you feel like there's kingdoms between you.

“...You say that yet you make it seem so damn easy. You never question why someone needs help, if it’s their own fault for getting themselves in that situation. You never assume people have any other intentions than what they tell you up front. You’re kind as effortlessly as some breathe.” He spits out the words as if they’re venom, once again speaking as if he believes you’re a fool. “Even to me, you’re kind. You ask me about my wounds, if I like the books I read, if I’m comfortable, where I learned to sew… I thought you were just trying to get in my bed at first, something I’m used to. I’ve given my body to countless ‘kind souls’, but now I’ve realized you just want me to be another victim you saved. Another person you’ve fixed. So you can play hero and get all the love and praise that entails. ‘Hero of Faerûn saves poor vampire spawn! Look at this poor sucker!’” He uses his hands to show off the fake headlines.

“Pun intended.” There's a sarcastic smile on his face as he stands up, grabbing your bloodied and wine stained handkerchief from the bed table before approaching you.

“That’s not why I did those things, Astarion, please. I care about you, just liste-”

“Well jokes on you, your kindness has been wasted on me. I’ve used you for my own gain, you know?” He throws your handkerchief against your chest, forcing you to clutch it so as to not let it fall. “I played with you just as easily as any other poor fool I’d find in Baldurs Gate’s whorehouses. You were ridiculously easy, just a few kind words and charming smiles and you were wrapped around my finger! Not that I blame you, have you seen me? I’m hard to resist. But it’s time to drop the pleasantries, the kindness, you’ve just been a tool for me to find a way to survive and I’ve just been another notch in your belt. But I am not another helpless pawn for you to feel good about ‘fixing’. I am pessimistic, I am selfish, I am merciless and I am cruel, and you won’t ever be able to change that.” He finally finishes his monologue, still forgetting to mimic the act of breathing as he stands before you in eerie silence. There’s a sense of vulnerability within his eyes despite his posture. Like a cornered animal lashing out in a desperate attempt to be left alone, to not be hurt.

You’re standing close to him now, mere decimeters away from each other's bodies. Yours heated and warm and his forever cold to the touch. You move slowly when you finally decide what you want to say, what you need him to realize. His eyes notice your hand raising and he tenses up even further, preparing him for what? He’s not sure. Then your hand reaches his face, softly cupping his cheek with your palm. Your heat exchanges with his, your hand slowly warming his skin while yours cools to the touch. He’s in shock, unable to say or do anything, just watching your face to try and read what your intentions are.

“I’ve tried to tell you, even before you went in here. I will always choose to be kind to you, Astarion, just as you are.”

He finally sucks in air, his lips parting to make sure his lungs fill fully and it’s as if it's his first breath since he died in that alley. That’s what you had tried to tell him before he left. You smile, moving your hand to brush a strand of his hair out of his face, observing his features. The dark, angry and nearly sadistic expression he carried before when he was trying to hurt you has washed away, leaving only the face of a lost young man standing before you. Eyes wide and mouth agape as you fully brushed off all the cruel things he said to you. Could he do nothing to scare you away, force you to back off? Keep you locked out of his heart?

He closes his mouth finally, eyes cast down to the floor as shame once again flowers in his chest, the thorns digging into every nerve.

“Even when I make it a difficult choice?” He asks quietly, shyly.

“Yes, even when it’s a difficult choice. But I don’t find it difficult to care for you Astarion. If you let me… I wouldn’t even find it difficult to love you.” You laugh a little, the question was silly to you after all. 

“You really are a fool.” A smile forms on his lips, the smile lines you’ve always adored finally showing themselves and his eyes as softening. He could never understand you, you’d never make sense to him. No matter how many times he thinks he has you pegged, you always go over and beyond his expectations. And once he thinks you’ve reached your limit on kindness, he finds a little more, even for a monster like him. His hands, which had consistently remained at his sides until now, moved up to find your hips. Astarion pulled you in closer to him, soaking in your heat and digging his head into the crook of your neck. You can’t help but laugh again, loud and happy, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him even closer to you.

“I will always be kind, even if it does make me a fool.”

[moomeecore]

Here's part two of that last fundraiser post. Sorry it took so long... Remember, we've got two months until trump goes into office, and so those two months are extra important for people in Palestine. So right now is an important time to donate! If you were planning to donate and haven't gotten around to it, please consider doing so now! Here's some fundraisers I've donated to today - Please try and match at least one of my donations!

Maria and family - vetted - Maria's family of six was displaced last year on October 13th, and since then they have been displaced multiple times as well. Their family business and source of income was destroyed, and Maria's education as a pharmacy student was halted. Her mother cartilage patient who suffers from pressure in the vertebrae of the spine, and is in need of medical treatment. Her account(s) include @maria-gaza1, @maria-gaza4. They have $19,110 CAD raised out of their $30,000 goal

Lama and Mohammed - vetted - (not a super thorough vetting but I did some image reverse searching by myself and personally I think they are real) Lama and Mohammed are a couple who have been displaced after their house was bombed. Lama is currently pregnant and needs funds to help prepare for and support the unborn baby. They have $15,378 raised out of their $20,000 goal. Their account is @lamahourani14 (+ variants of this) for more information.

Eslam Gheelan and family - vetted - The fundraiser is for Eslam, her husband, and their two children (who are 10 months old & 5 years old respectively). Their house and places of work were destroyed and they became displaced, with no source of income. Their children are repeatedly struggling from disease due to pollution and malnutrition. They are raising money to support their cost of living, and to evacuate to Egypt. Eslam's accounts for more info: @eslamfa3 @eslamfamily06 - Right now they have $32,814 raised of their $50,000 goal

Ghazal Naseer and family + Fayez Al-Kafarna and family - vetted (#355) - Ghazal Naseer is 16 years old, and she and her siblings were seperated from their parents. She and her 5 year old brother are under the care of their 26 year old brother, Samar. The three of them then found the Al-Kafarna family, who had also been displaced from Northern Gaza, and the two groups are now travelling together. The Al-Kafarna family includes a Fayez Al-Kafarna, his wife, Amal, and their three children (7 years old, 4 years old + their baby daughter who is not even a year old yet). After the two families met, Fayez was injured in an Israeli missile strike, having taken a shrapnel to the head. He survived but had to get surgical treatment, and is still undergoing treatment and suffering greatly. Later on, Fayez and Amal's 4 year old was shot, and while he also lived, he is suffering as well, and in need of more medical treatment. For more information, @fay1z0-blog is run by Fayez. They have £11,301 raised out of their £25,000 goal

I accidently donated twice to that last one... that's £10 to match, I guess

Previous fundraiser posts: Post 1, post 2, post 3, post 4

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog: Wakfu Season 1 (episodes 21-26)

Episode 21 - Igol

This is a big episode because this is where we get the "Adamai knows stasis magic" lore drop that is never elaborated on, or mentioned altogether.

Episode 22 - Rubilax

Someday, someone will complete a translation of the Dofus manga in russian or english and I'll finally learn what's the deal with this man and why he died and got better and how crazy his doomed yaoi with his dead dragon husband gets.

Heartbreakingly, this day is not yet here.

[Kerubim and Goultard crying together over a drink, begin talking at the same time] I miss my dead wife, Goulatrd/Kerubim. I miss her/him a lot.

Big lore: Sleep masks exist in this universe.

Episode 23 - The Quest for the Dofus

He'll get it eventually. I did.

Episode 24 - Reunion

I love their family so much, I wish they could be happy. But every time something changes, it's far too late... It is tragically realistic, I suppose.

I don't know why, but this is such a pretty frame... The soft morning light, the dim room, the plants the glowing mushrooms...

Also, rare moment to take in what the guest rooms look like at the Sadida castle!

This episode (and at least one past episode) has quite a bit of ciphered text that I haven't been translating because I'm evil. Sorry. It's not the same script as the texts in Aux Tresors, despite the similarities, so you'll have to resort to google, or to decoding it yourself. You could start with the fact that this presumably says "Arbe de vie"

Episode 25 - I Am A Legend

Stasis mention 🔥🔥🔥

This whole scene always makes me tear up. I am actually insane and crazed every time I rewatch the last two episodes.

Your insane Joris trivia of the day is that this scene was changed between various airings/versions of Wakfu. For some mysterious reason. Here's a comparison:

I prefer the old version because.... [blushes] [kicks legs] [twiddles with my hair] HES SO PRETTY—- But also besides me being insane and in love with him, it just seems to have better composition and flow, imo.

My theories for why he was late:

He was sent to get reinforcements from other countries, or call for help. Though it is unlikely that many other kingdoms responded, given how little people care about Sadida (the most likely, normal, and realistic explanation)

He went together with the army of Sadida and the king to fight the war and ran all the way here using his insane speed (the second most likely, normal, and realistic explanation)

He overslept

He got lost

He was busy, man...

He was writing a letter to Keke and Atch about how he beat the shit out of some sadida guards and two girls clapped and cheered and lost track of time.

This exchange has always been so funny to me for some reason.

"What is the situation" He says,, while a giant mecha is about to kill what likely amounts to one-twelfth of the world's population.

I have talked about it a lot, but I am so deeply unwell about how cold he is. A girl lost her lover and is crying inconsolably, and he's not really paying that attention. One twelfth of the world population is about to die, and he won't show an ounce of discomfort or horror or grief.

Obviously he doesn't like it, but showing any weakness is out of the question.

More people have died from Ogrest, and she's like, the 60th girl on a battlefield on his memory to be crying after losing someone.

There are no unsolvable issues in this world.

I need to study him like a bug.

Episode 26 - Mount Zinit

Standing so prettily...

I think one of Joris's core "insanity and depression prevention" life philosophies is that, if he is not present at a battle, and can not physically be present, then he's not to blame for any horrible thing that happens.

I think this philosophy works almost never to quell his feelings of unease, and right now he is calculating 132924 ways he could have gotten here faster and just how much it would fix things.

(guy who runs a blog about pointing out obvious things Joris does voice) There's a very subtle expression change here. He starts looking intently as Amalia proposes going to help Yugo and Adamai. He was going to do this. However, the second he hears her yell "no", his expression changes once more.

We don't see whether he rushes to aid Eva in any way after she collapses from grief, but I will be honest — he would never do that.

Even if he has a pre-established good relationship with her. He just can't do that. He probably stands there awkwardly, in that same exact place, and feels very bad the entire time — because he can neither comfort Eva (they're practically strangers, he hesitated far too long, he'll make things worse—), nor go help Yugo (he can't just leave Eva and Ruel alone... What if more enemies appear? Or what if they think he abandoned them amidst grief? And would he even be useful?)

I think standing next to inconsolable people is Joris's personal hell.

I am insane.

I think one of the reasons Wakfu season 1 is so memorable, and so effective, is that there is no glorious pay off.

Yugo has a heroic moment of friendship overpowering everything — and then, after a second of being scared, Nox overtakes him. Nox wins. And that win is a mere 20 minutes. And for what? Pinpin is still dead. Everyone he killed is still dead.

Yugo doesn't get a glorious win, or his friend back. There is no epic swell of music. Just something quiet, foreboding, and truly meaningless.

OMG HI.

Your daily reminder that canonically, Eva is an amazing artist.

💀

Once again, Sadida Kingdom and Bonta have a very good relationship. Besties who hoard magical nukes together stay together.

[spacelessbian]

thoughts on Agatha All Along FINALE

Full spoilers ahead, 100% don't read if you haven't seen episodes 8 and 9.

I really enjoyed the finale, both episodes had a lot to offer and overall I am quite happy with how the show concluded. Things that I liked in no particular order:

The REVEALS. There is simply nothing better than a reveal that recontextualizes everything. And we didn't get just one, but two! Personally I found Agatha running a con and murdering women for centuries the more fun one, but Billy actually creating the Road was also really good and even though I've only seen the show once (unlike many people on here, no doubt), I can name many points in the story and in the dialogue where this is worked in and suddenly makes sense. Really great stuff.

Agatha and Nicky. I was dreading this part a little bit because I know Nicholas Scratch is some sort of big name in Marvel comics and I truly couldn't care less, so I'm pleased with what we got – a genuinely sweet yet tragic story of a mom and her son, destined to death even before being born. I was surprised (but in a good way) by Agatha's quiet reaction to Nicky's death because we know his death hurt her badly, but that's just how it is sometimes.

Agatha and Rio. I won't say I'd always had fate in Marvel to not mess this up, so yay! I don't think they did. This relationship is the heart of the show (and it is black and beats for the queers) and I think the writers did it justice (apart from one thing which I will get to in the next section). The kiss was intense, sexy, beautiful and also tragic and both Kathryn Hahn and Aubrey Plaza did a fantastic job with every piece of dialogue and every expression. I want them to play doomed lovers in five more projects, at least.

The coven. I already blogged about Jen but man, is it funny. Even this was Agatha all along, but she is such a menace she hasn't even realized that. I'm truly happy for Jen making it through and getting her power back. I'm glad we saw Alice's last moment and I liked how much Billy cared about her, Lilia and Sharon.

Agatha's death. I can't help myself, I need to go to that moment again. I was destroyed by that. It was so beautiful, both thematically and also visually and all. The flowers and mushrooms? The sun coming up? I kept thinking about Hozier's Work Song: When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down. I'll crawl home to her. (whadup, Rio reference)

Agatha and Billy specifically in that last battle scene. She was blue you guys, she was just completely blue and in the exact same blue that Billy wears in his silly Marvel costume. And Billy just offered her his power, without questions and without wanting anything in return! And she didn't kill him! (Writing that down, the bar is on the floor for Agatha lol.)

There are other small things (like the Subaru lol), but I am ready to go to the bad section now. Two things I did not like (hidden for lenght but also because not everyone wants to read negative stuff):

Agatha's ghost. I'm gonna say it. Agatha as a ghost looks fucking terrible and her existence itself diminishes her death scene. I do understand why they did it and even why she looks like that (Agatha in the comics, as I understand it, is Wanda's mentor and also an older white haired lady, so they wanted to keep that but it didn't make sense with Wanda anymore), but I just hate it. Especially the wig.

The Marvel stuff. Yes, I realize this sounds stupid, it is a Marvel show after all. We wouldn't get a stupid gimmick like ghost Agatha joining Billy to look for his brother if this wasn't a starting point for the Wiccan. And I like Billy, I do, I also (obviously) love Agatha, who was first introduced in WandaVision (I realize the hypocrisy), but it just doesn't work for me. I would rather think about the beautiful death scene with it's poetic tragedy than about white haired Agatha floating on a washing machine, I'm sorry.

That being said, I really really liked the whole show and I am happy to say I hooked in my best friend (if you are reading this, you are contractually obliged to like the post, you know how it is) and that I actually know other people irl who watched it and enjoyed it. I'm sad it's over and even sadder that in this day and age, noone will talk about it in about two to three weeks. Anyway, it was lovely.

[tonguetiedraven]

So I was cleaning up a few manga panels for my other blog, and darn it, I need to talk about my thoughts on two scenes in the Shimane Illuminati arc (specifically chapters 61 and 62) because Kato deserves all the applause for everything. This post will be for chapter 61 and I'll post 62 later.

TW/CW for character death, medical abuse, and mental health struggles. Content below the cut.

First, in chapter 61 we get this heart breaking page when Tamamo Kamiki dies.

To get into what I'm seeing with this panel, I need to give a brief (or I'll try and make it brief) overview of Tamamo. Tamamo gets introduced to us in chapter 52 and the first panel we get of her is her sobbing into the camera that everyone acts so cold towards her because she is sleeping with the head priest and not married to said high priest.

We are then told that she was an irresponsible and careless woman by Mike. We find out three really important things though.

Tamamo is judged by the people around her and gets a cold shoulder

Tamamo relies heavily on her daughter and the byakko to have the house run at all and has dreams of a fantastic family and house she has shown no ability to actually run.

Tamamo is in love with the (shitty) Chief Priest of Inari and that he isn't married to her.

We then find out:

That Tamamo and her entire line have always managed the terrifying and unruly Nine Tails by assimilating the god and becoming her, and that the town/shrine distrust her because of that, even though she does it to protect them. They ostracize her for the duty her family has and they judge the entire family because she had Soji's children.

Notice Soji isn't in the judged club and that Soji has never seen his daughters. He's never been to her house. It is always her going to him.

This theme of ostracization is something that pops up over and over and over again in Blue Exorcist. Almost all of the main characters had a childhood that was lonely and where they were rejected by their peers--almost always for things outside their direct control and almost always in someway connected to demons, even if they didn't know it, but I'll get to that more in a moment. Suffice to say, at this point we can see that Tamamo is isolated outside of her illicit meetings with Soji (not at all healthy as we'll see later on) her interactions with the demons around her, and her daughters, neither of which are old or mature enough to offer her the type of companionship she's in need of, which leads to everyone in this tangled dynamic having unhealthy relationships with each other.

We see Tamamo seeking connections and affections and largely being rebuffed by it everywhere except Tsukumo and the byakko. Soji's affection has strings attached, and Izumo is too fed up to offer any affection. The other members of the shrine ostracize her and give her a cold shoulder, and I'd bet money that they're vocal about their opinions any time she's around. (And they likely don't care if the kids are around or not.)

What I'm getting at is that Tamamo is lonely and you see that in how desperate she is for approval and connection and it mostly comes out with Soji. She does whatever he wants to keep her connection to him intact. We've also had a few indications thus far in the manga that isolation and depression and poor mental health are things demons take advantage of. We'll get more explanation on that later on, but suffice to say that Tamamo is not at all in a healthy spot to be constantly risking possession against an immensely powerful and evil demon.

I'll be honest and clear up front that I have no love for Soji and think him deplorable and he did not do anything to help Tamamo that we see. Rather, it seems he exclusively used her for his own pleasures without any care for her or the consequences their time together had.

I also think it's important that everyone know that Nine Tails -- at least the Nine Tails in this story -- is based of Tamamo no Mae who is an infamous yokai in Japanese lore. She has a long and complicated history with her origins unknown and a lot of political manipulation, but an important thing to know about her is that she is always depicted as a child eater. She devours women as well, and thrives on seducing men. She's beautiful and powerful and alluring, and she's manipulative.

So generations of women manipulated and regularly partially possessed by Nine Tails down the line, we have a shrine and town that reject Tamamo and her losing her grasp on the one adult who 'likes' her, and we see this moment:

We see her staring at him, enjoying the light atmosphere and gathering her courage (the sweat drop in the panel has me thinking she's nervous about this because it's not the first time this convo has happened.)

She wants him to come to her house and is trying to make it as appealing as possible. She wants a family and the life she's been dreaming up.

Soji rejects the idea entirely and pushes further by saying if she asks for him to interact with the kids in any way he'll dump her. The one adult connection she has will be lost because of her children. (Not actually. It's because he's a dick but she sees it as the children being the problem.)

She then goes immediately to Nine Tails to do the dance of spirit invocation which we're told this about:

So Tamamo--who has been isolated and lonely for at least a large chunk of her adult life is now seeing the one connection she's made with another adult (and an unhealthy one at that) potentially break because of her children-- goes to assimilate the Nine Tails in that unstable and unhealthy emotional and mental state.

It is heavily implied that Nine Tails started to take her over at this point, and you see her become more and more obsessed with Soji and more angry with her children, further isolating herself away from the small amount of support and connection she did have until she's entirely possessed by the vengeful and malevolent spirit of Nine Tails.

She murders Soji and tries to do the same to her children before the Illuminati take her and subject her to years of torture, all while she's still possessed by the Nine Tails.

One more detail and I'll get back to the scene in chapter 61.

When Tamamo was last fully in control of her faculties and saw her daughter, she saw Izumo in the same place she was. Ostracized by her community with no one but their small family to lean on. Her daughter was doomed to follow the same path Tamamo had, and at this point, it looks like this was a cycle that had been going on for at least a few generations. Isolated and connection starved women raising daughters who were isolated and connection starved children. Tamamo became overly touchy and clingy to everyone where Izumo became mistrustful. (And man does she have a lot of reasons for that.)

Now back to chapter 61 and the moment Tamamo dies.

She wakes up amongst the chaos of the zombie hoard going towards possessed Izumo, and she immediately intervenes to get the Nine Tails spirit back inside herself to save her daughter.

That's important to understand for her. She moved before the next moment I'm going to talk about. She saw Izumo possessed and didn't seem to hesitate to save her daughter. She has been tortured for five years and immediately moves to start that horrible possession again.

But while she's dancing to contain Nine Tails in herself, this is going on in the background:

Each of the other teens in the room came to get Izumo and they're shouting their support of her even while they fight an endless hoard of zombies because they came to get her. Tamamo can hear that happening and she can see that they came to help Izumo.

No one came to help Tamamo. At no point did anyone ever come to rescue her or fight for her. She was blamed for everything and was left to bear all the consequences for five years. (I am not blaming Izumo for that. She was a child and was not responsible for saving her mother.)

But with "We're here for you!" ringing in Tamamo's ears, she completes the ritualistic dance and frees her daughter from the possession.

Tamamo in her dying moments looks at her daughter and sees a community around her that Tamamo didn't have. She sees people willing to intervene and help and fight even though Izumo is pushing them away and possessed and not easy to get along with.

Tamamo, from everything we saw, was isolated and rejected by her community and had no one to support her. She was manipulated and played by her significant other and left vulnerale to possession by a society that needed her to do the thankless job and hated her for doing the thankless job. She was bubbly and friendly and still pushed away and rejected and ostracized until she succumbed to Nine Tails.

back to chapter 52

Blue Exorcist talks a lot about curses and ostracization. All the main cast suffer from it in some way or another. They've all been called terrible things and most of them have been treated as if they aren't human, and a lot of them have complicated lineages and may not be fully human which just amplifies the amount they're rejected by their peers.

For Tamamo, that curse was literal and figurative. The literal curse was the constant absorption of an insane demon that eventually consumed her until she'd destroyed what little family she had.

It was figurative in that as the head priestess and medium in charge of the rituals, she was rejected by the community she needed to support her. She was left floundering on the outside, always given just a taste of what she could have had if she was born to a different family, and left with a longing for what she would never be given and always wondering why she couldn't have it. (And yes, I'm probably reading into some things and filling in the blanks with hypothesis and assumptions.)

But in that final moment, Tamamo sees that curse of isolation and rejection has been broken by Izumo. That her daughter, who like all the daughters of the Kamiki line was alone, is no longer alone. That she has friends and support. Support that followed her into this hell and reached out to call her back even from a demon like Nine Tails.

I don't know if I've made myself all that clear, but I love the way that Kato has shown this over and over again and keeps showing the rejection of isolation and ostracization as any kind of solution. That she keeps showing through each of these relationships and arcs that it's reaching for and connecting with other people that brings change and healing and hope, and I love how she shows that through moments like this. It's a little moment that's so easy to miss, but it's so immensely huge when looked at in the context of the entirety of Tamamo's life.

I wish she knew that they would have come for her if they'd known she'd been there all this time. I wish she'd have found a community to support her and I wish she'd had someone to tell her Soji was a dick and she could do better.

I wish she could see Izumo now, still connected to her friends and even though it's the end of the world, she's fighting with and beside them. That she's seeking out connections and learned her lesson about not needing to be alone. That she's teased and loved and welcomed.

But I'm pretty sure in that final moment, she saw it all anyway.

[bentosandbox]

Ambience Synesthesia tutorial blog

rambled this out because I didn't have inflight wifi otw home and the turbulence was too crazy to draw

Buying the ticket

erm so they only dropped the tickets like slightly less than a month before lol kinda insane

The concert tickets were sold on Damai so you need a CN number or know/pay someone with one who'd buy it for you which is what I did by recommendation (A tier 1280 + 400 'service fee' [apparently it would have been cheaper if they only helped you half way or something but i wasnt gonna risk running into a payment hiccup so]) Iirc they sold it in two batches but I don't remember the ratio split between first and second wave…

I got a ticket for 5/5's afternoon show (so the second last performance), I DID meet an oomf who said they managed to snag a ticket for themselves on their own (without a Professional Ticket Snatcher) so its not too impossible to attain on your own I think??? (I didn't get a CN number until like 2 days before I flew back home soo)

Professional Ticket what?? Uhhh apparently there's a whole industry/scene for this you look for listings on xianyu/taobao etc for people to buy on your behalf, you have to give them your real name and identification number (so for foreigners it'd be your passport number) for verification purposes during entry so yknow yea

getting there

You could cab directly to the venue but my friend signed us up for the free shuttle bus (they had freebies last year but not this time) and before we boarded they gave us like free water and bread (apparently free raincoats too on rainy days) which was nice of them but also insane because. the venue doesn't allow you to bring food/drinks in so a lot of people were leaving A LOT of unopened bottles near the gate and I saw a venue staff just throwing them all into the bin (HOPEFULLY JUST TO CARRY THEM AWAY IN ONE GO AND NOT FOR STRAIGHT DISPOSAL….) They drop you off near the venue but you don't go in directly, there's a 'Doctor break room' where most people are seated waiting to be ushered in batches into the venue, but also a lot of people standing around on one side of the room swapping/offering merch

merch swap

ive been told this is a very concert culture thing but i feel like its kind of different because a lot of these are so high quality ike…you could sell them at Artist Alleys but here they are just distributing for free if you have a E2 60 blorbo lmao or whatever (there seems to be a tiny…? minority that prints official art but most of them seem to be handdrawn/made)

i was too unprepared for this lol i did exchange some of my old stickers (missed out on a collapsal plastic fan bc my brain lagged when the guy asked me and i went to my auto 'sorry i dont have any merch' response' :( regretted this bc the room got a little hot from the amount of people in there and i was wearing like 3 layers with that fan on my mind)

from people watching a lot of trades are arranged beforehand on weibo/other sites unless you're willing to yell WHO WANTS TO TRADEEE/anyone wants freebies (a lot of people were also wearing 'Feel Free to Swap Merch/Ask for Freebies' tags) which i was definitely not brave enough to do lol… met up with an oomf i got to know from last dec when i attended an arknights only and they gave me some birbs and charms (bottom of post), there was someone who got a free LGD zine and charm from me bc i posted on wb that id give a free copy to anyone with a Mod 3 swire/swummer LMFAO

I had 2 more people to meet but, uhhh so I bought an esim for mobile data and it would intermittently lose signal here and there which was a little annoying when getting coffee but it just died entirely when i reached the venue and it was kind of Dire because i was waiting for one more friend who was coming over from the fes and i couldn't contact them lmao. told the friend i came with to go in first because I thought if my food got confiscated at least my oomf could see it beforehand LOL

waited outside in a light drizzle for an hour trying to trouble shoot my data to no avail and ended up borrowing a staff's wifi hotspot to get my entry qr code (I actually bought a second data roaming plan on my local sim but i quite stupidly did not check the country coverage and only learned later that night that 'Asia' doesn't cover China kuxiao) she was so nice i was (bow emoji) so sorry to trouble you im a stupid gaijin and she was like no its ok enjoy shanghai!! pien

spent a good 30min next to this board praying for data to no avail

the show

erm anyway because of that clownery above i more or less missed the first piece (the one w the goated hoho) but at least i wasnt the guy next to me who went for a bathroom break right before starset came up

The live singing this year was definitely an improvement I think… I can't really remember the setlist off the top of my head but I'm sure someone else has already listed it out, there were a couple of new pieces that weren't related to the concert groups like a Babel/Kazdel?? one sung in Latin, a Victoria…? one (in victorian ofc) also an Amiya (? just remembering by the visuals they used lol) one in Japanese

ohh yeah so almost every track would start with like a faction logo transitioning in from 3d to 2d which was cool but also amusing because it was honestly bringing quite the 'I will Make Your Company Logo Into 3D Fiverr' vibes

Since I missed the first piece idk if any of The Dreamer(s) got 3D models but The Pilgrim(s why are they all singular) had Kaltsit playing on that piano (there was also a replica of that piano on stage the white one complete with 'Arknights' text on it lmao) and Siege being cool running around in 3D (and ofc Eureka during her denpa number) it was very cool but man... its a pity the other characters in the group just get their live2d png during the beginning and effectively get sidelined lool compared to say Phenomenal Agents idk if i like this tradeoff but that eureka bit was so good sheesh #NOVAFIVE⭐ULTRALIVESWEEP

The other stuff was really great too looking at you Lone Trail medley…!!!!! I might be wrong but I... assume... you're encouraged to karaoke bc they always show the lyrics on screen… I couldn't even hear myself anyway but it was very fun singing songs you can't get on joysound/etc with a whole crowd going at it too (even if most of them would only sing 1-2 lines of the chorus)

Mary Clare did Radiant (they had the lyrics scrolling on the sides very cool) and iirc the Throne group's song...? Radiant was so fun live

Starset did Monster > Telescope and when the latter ended they were like Bye! and we(?) started yelling ENCORE--awkwardly because idk how they do it here (I was half expecting it to be JP style 'an-call-roo' but a bunch of us just yelled en-core en-core here and there until they returned to perform Infected) speaking of yelling.. between every piece when they had to switch sets people would just yell memes or skill names (like Dage's) to pass the time or sth i barely caught half of whatever they were memeing about

did i forget to mention anything else uhhh originium rock turntable for Guide Ahead's boss theme/Dossoles Lobby and they had IS4 medley live throat singing very cool also the dancers they got for silbenherze's boss theme good stuff...

iirc after starset was like a behind the scenes video of how HG prepared for AS and a recorded lowlight video saying some stuff that i forgot LOL just some thank you message basically. 9.5/10 bc no missy/shu EP live

i just realised i forgot to display all the merch from the A tier ticket but w/e. light stick photo ft. merch swaps/gifts from friends and strangers 🥹 (the iffy lenticular card was literally dropped into my bag by an iffy coser (wearing the LT outfit..?!) while waiting for the cab LMAO)

[mdhwrites]

Did TOH Need More Time For Its Ambitions?

No. Because Amphibia exists. Why can I say that so confidently? Because Sasha and Amity show a VERY clear comparison in how the storytelling in each show is handled and how that shows that even with a similar amount of appearances, TOH is just lacking in actually doing anything with its concepts.

(Quick interjection: Consider this effectively a part 2/rehash on why Anne's arc in S1 is so much better than Amity's arc period, which is a blog I did a LONG time ago that analyzed critical portions of character arcs in general. This one though uses the more obvious pairing and also the two with much closer screen time and narrative importance... though with TOH that term is entirely fucked.)

Both characters are enemies to allies. Both have complicated relationships with the main character and are motivated by that relationship to change themselves for the better. Both have positions in the world and priorities that explicitly makes them opposed to the main character not only ideologically but sociologically. And, above all else:

Sasha's redemption arc, from her first appearance to Turning Point when she explicitly turns full good, is 9 segments. Ten/Eleven if you count Reunion/True Colors as two.

Amity's redemption can range anywhere from seven A plots to nine/ten depending on if A: you count Hooty's Moving Hassle, which I don't, and B: if you count the end of her redemption arc at Winging it Like Witches (when she rebukes her old friends), Escaping Expulsion (when she rebukes her parents) or Looking Glass Ruins, the first episode where she is 100% an ally. Or hell, you could actually for FIVE episodes and say it's Understanding Willow as she apologizes for the past and promises to stop bullying at least Willow at that point, which was her first antagonistic act before.

And mind you... Understanding Willow is in S1. LONG before the shortening took effect. Even the latest one of these puts it at before the shortening. So I think these are fair comparisons of just how the two's arcs were handled with the amount of time spent on them. Which raises the question: What did we get in that time?

Well... We got an actual arc with Sasha while Amity just changes randomly. That's not even really a joke. I'll try to bounce between the two to really highlight the difference, especially in storytelling.

In her first appearance, we get pretty much all possible suspicions about Sasha based on Anne confirmed. She is manipulative, self serving, self aggrandizing and tells people what they want to hear to get them to do what she wants. She is your friend so she can control you. However, she isn't all bad. She could have just ran during the Heron attack but instead helps save the day though it's very possible that she recognized she was better off staying as an equal of Grime's than running off on her own. The Toads are opposed to the Frogs in Amphibia's society though, creating an inherent conflict between Sasha and Anne due to the social dynamics of the world they are in.

Meanwhile, Amity in her first appearance actually makes a strong case for herself. She looks down on those magically challenged, which Luz is, is a bully while Luz is an outcast who has struggled with friends and has a drive to succeed conventionally while Luz uses more unconventional methods. The opposing elements are actually lined up really well between the two but we don't get a lot of Amity's actual personality. She just comes off as an entertaining, almost neurotic bitch. We get more of her personality in her second episode where she is a little more in control of her emotions, shows a potential softer side, and also sets up another sociological conflict in that Luz inherently is on the side of the wild witches due to her mentor and her magic style while Amity is full on the coven train, even to the point to wanting to one day potentially lead the Emperor's Coven. Though, importantly... The only thing that's challenged about Amity's worldview in this episode is the idea that someone she thinks is weak could actually be strong, something that theoretically could have been said to have been covered by the end of Teenage Abomination when Willow proves herself with the seed. Hell, it's also reinforced in an episode I don't usually count for this but is kind of important: Hooty's Moving Hassle. So that's one problem addressed but only tangentially and it's by no means the biggest issue between Amity and Luz. Amity is still a bully after all.

Meanwhile, Reunion goes for the core, both sociologically and personally. The Toads want Hop Pop dead and Sasha doesn't care. Not only that but Sasha assumes that if she tells Anne not to care, Anne won't because in her eyes, Anne serves her. She is the one in charge after all and she won't take no for an answer. Period. We're even shown this explicitly in the flashbacks. The problem is... Anne has gone through an entire character arc to make it so she can stand up to Sasha and challenges pretty much all of Sasha's beliefs. Her need for control, her callousness towards others and her warped view of reality where she is the hero and all else are best off listening to her. Sasha even gives in for a moment in an act of genuine selflessness by letting go of Anne's hand so her and the Plantars can live. It does a lot of work but... It might be considered rushed if that were the end of her primary antagonism.

You know where this is going. In her third major appearance, forth appearance overall... Amity is a neutral entity and a friend by the end of Lost in Language. Honestly, if you wanted to argue that the majority of Amity's arc, especially friends to allies, was three episodes, you'd be actually making a very compelling point. This episode after all is the one where she effectively stops being a bully. She just is now the overly dedicated smart girl. She is explicitly not the antagonist though but instead the victim and the one we're primarily supposed to sympathize with. Then, thanks to Azura, she befriends Luz by the end of the episode. They are already allies and... There isn't much reason for it besides one time teaming up. Sure, Luz has challenged Amity's perceptions but even she calls out in this episode that each time they meet up, Amity gets in trouble or/amd embarrassed. Luz has actually done extremely little to deserve this because all Luz has actually done with Amity before this episode is a declaration of combat and then their last talk in Covention which was just about maybe rethinking if someone could or couldn't do something, not about Amity's morality. Also, Luz is important to consider here. These sorts of arcs involve the MC in a pretty crucial way because they're the one the antagonist wants to become allies with and so the MC needs to accept them. Amity hasn't done fuck all at this point to deserve Luz's attention because she's a bully and is cruel to her mostly besides her final act in Covention. It is literally NARRATIVE TROPES that make Luz forgive Amity and want to befriend. Literally. Nothing about Amity's actions or actual character, Luz just wants to live out her fanfic.

And that brings up the fact that Anne does keep giving Sasha chances but they have an established history and that push and pull of trust is a large part of this. It's the main driving factor for why Sasha will change at all and why the lengths she goes both for manipulation and redemption are important. It's also important to show WHY Anne might have wanted someone like Sasha around. Toad Catcher is not crucial for Sasha's arc, Barrel's Warhammer also shows how much Anne's rebuke of her and choosing the Plantars over her fucks with her mentally, but it does let you see why people follow her. The motivation she can bring them because Sasha does see the best in people... But mostly because people's bests are also the most useful for her. It also doubles down on her good quality that she rarely gives up on someone she chooses to ally with. All while still making it clear that if given the chance, she'll try to get back at Anne because accepting Anne was right is too antithetical to how she sees the world.

And then for both, we get episodes that mostly just explore the characters. A sort of holding pattern for both arcs with Barrel's Warhammer, Third Temple, The Sleepover and The Battle of the Bands for Sasha while we have Adventure in the Elements, Understanding Willow and Grom for Amity. This is also where you can extend this to include Winging it Like Witches and/or Escaping Expulsion depending on where you count Amity's arc as fully ending. For both characters though, the status quote they're primarily in doesn't change a lot. Amity is a tentative ally who has to get dragged into things and is generally a good person but not hanging out with everyone else casually yet. Meanwhile, Sasha is barely controlling her growing rage and insecurity about losing her power over Anne, exacerbated by Marcy coming into the mix and, from Sasha's perspective, siding with Anne. Though, there is a critical difference.

One is actually exploring the character, their motivations and their mindset. In all the episodes I listed for Amity, Amity gets small steps but they're NOTHING we don't already know. She's a generally good person who has a compulsion to succeed until suddenly in Escaping Expulsion that she's let her grades slip. There's nothing about what drives her towards success, no exploration on if these changes are difficult on her, both of which are actually in Battle of the Bands to some extent for Sasha. We don't see how this stuff is affecting her besides her growing crush and if that's getting her to act out. That takes until fucking Looking Glass Ruins to actually manifest while Barrel's Warhammer shows how much the idea of changing is fucking with Sasha's head but also why her behavior is toxic. How her best traits can also be her worst. Amity's traits are barely even being examined. She's just slowly becoming more and more obsessed with Luz and bleeding personality for it by becoming a very generically good person.

THEN we get Sasha's big relapse. Her denial of her arc. The attempt to wrestle back control because she saw an oppurtunity to be on top and took it. This is book 2's ending for Zuko. A moment of weakness where the character's vices means they at least have to question their character arc. If that's what they want or if they want to continue being who they always were. True Colors is this for Sasha, even to the point where she is willing to throw out parts of her past if she can't find a way to keep them. It is that same weakness that makes her plans fail though because once she can try to justify her actions and bring Anne back to her, she can't fight Anne properly and loses for a second time. Again, that push and pull of trust and control.

And Amity doesn't have this. The closest there is to it is Escaping Expulsion... Where she doesn't do shit. Calling that an Amity episode is FRUSTRATING for me because she is barely in it. Not only that, but she doesn't decide to do villainy. Instead, it's that she is a teenager with a controlling mother. But don't worry, despite only showing up for like four minutes of the episode, Amity can just tell her mom to piss off and that's that. It isn't motivated by a push or pull, Amity doesn't want to go back at all and she actively is miserable the entire episode despite having explicitly chosen to be a bully for YEARS before this. After all, her parents only told her she couldn't be friends with Willow. They never told Amity to bully her for years and become queen bitch of the school over all. That was Amity's choice.

And then finally resolution. When the character themselves accepts the change and stops shifting morality. This is actually why I consider Turning Point the end of Sasha'a arc. Commander Anne is follow through but it's just reinforcing the version of Sasha that takes form in this moment. The Sasha, who reading how much her betrayal hurt Anne but how much trust she had for the mean girl, who has to face all she's lost in her pursuit of power, takes the mantle of guardian seriously. It is not a moment of weakness like in Reunion that makes her put other lives over hers but instead a moment self actualization and determination. A moment of strength and one she'll stick to for the most part. She is no longer manipulative, she is a commander, even if she doesn't have the title yet. This is especially satisfying because... Well, we've seen EVERYTHING that motivates this moment. Not just Anne's stuff but Grime's loyalty to her and how much that means to her. Percy and Braddock abandoning her and her trying to use the calculus of war to be okay with that. We can see MOUNTAINS of evidence for why she would choose this over her old self. Over one more time to try to conquer Amphibia like Grime suggests.

I... Genuinely can't really say when this happens for Amity. This actually has way less to do with how many times she rejects her past self and more to do with... Why does she? Why does she ever change in fact? What are her motivations? Because even in Escaping Expulsion, Luz's conversation with Amity isn't "You need to stand up to your parents because you shouldn't let others dictate your life." It's instead, "You should stand up to your parents so I can go back to witch school." And this happens CONSTANTLY. Remember: You can argue her villain role ends on her third major appearance and Luz NEVER talks morality with her. Never has Amity actually learn something.

It actually comes down to an inherent storytelling choice with TOH as a whole: Very few episodes are about anyone other than Luz and Luz actually really sucks at helping people during their episodes. Gus actually has some of the best episodes dedicated to a side character as they're actually addressing a core element of the character... And in his first one, Luz is a bystander. She does fucking NOTHING except maybe give Gus a pep talk. She is mcguffin than anything. With Amity though? Covention is mostly about Luz learning about the coven system. Lost in Language is about Luz and the twins and her want to befriend Amity, not the why she wants to befriend Amity. Adventure in the Elements: About Luz having a Winter Adventure where Amity is a perfectly good person. Understanding Willow is actually one of the better ones because at least for that one, Amity makes her final choice because she's nostalgic for an old friend. Grom has her only stand up though when Luz in trouble. Winging it Like Witches? It's just Luz being in danger that motivates her. Escaping Expulsion? Luz being in danger. Looking Glass? Luz needs her.

This is why Amity feels like she changes just for a pretty girl. Luz actually does NOTHING to ever try and change Amity. To ever actually interact with Amity's arc. Reaching Out will be the pinnacle of this where Amity has suddenly written off the entire coven system, one of the only things besides Luz we've been told she cares about... And Luz has never once talked to her about the coven system or Belos. Because Luz has barely actually talked to her about her besides to call her cool and pretty. It is remarkable how little Luz actually interacts properly with Amity and how few real conversations they have, especially about their differences and feelings about each other. Each time Sasha and Anne are in the same room, you know their philosophies and relationship is going to come up in some way. It's too omnipresent for both to ignore. Meanwhile... There's a lot of episodes where Lumity exchange cute jokes and that's it, despite the main plot focusing on those two characters for that episode. And remember: TOH's A plots explicitly have more time to include those sorts of slower conversations. Oh, and, you know, one of these pairs are just friends while the other GETS INTO A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP.

And the pinnacle of all of this: Amphibia does this amazing character arc while also making it plot relevant and REALLY important to its themes. Sasha is a primary antagonist for two seasons technically. She genuinely challenges both the message of change being good from a meta perspective but also challenges Anne's own character arc from a narrative perspective. Her degradation of care is contrasted by how Amphibia makes Anne care so much about others that it makes it harder and harder for her to write off Sasha despite what Sasha did. Then, Sasha changing her perspective and treatment of others, while keeping the core of herself true, is what helps keep Wartwood alive while Anne is gone while also demonstrating the power of change but also that you don't have to change literally EVERYTHING about you.

Meanwhile, it was a fucking meme in the TOH community that if Amity was on screen, nothing could happen and that stayed almost true for literally half the series. Not only that but Amity's complete change for Luz doesn't really feel coherent with the themes of self acceptance and not changing for others. It tries because the show posits that Amity just needed a better environment to go back to being the good person she always was but A: that's never explored because challenging her environment is not actually a part of what motivates her changes, just B: Luz is the whole reason for her change and she changes effectively into Azura, Luz's favorite character. That doesn't feel like becoming her own person and instead changing literally every aspect of yourself for your partner which... Yikes. To put it mildly.

You can cut EVERYTHING to do with Amity out of the show and you lose literally nothing except representation. You cut Sasha out of Amphibia though? You do not have the same story. Period. You have to rewrite a good bit because despite her lack of appearances, she is important. A lot of elements of Amphibia are important like that.

And Amphibia did it with smart storytelling that actually explored its own elements, not because it had three full seasons. Not when Sasha takes up so much less time of her show than Amity does.

This is all because Amphibia actually was interested in telling a character arc instead of just kind of weakly being able to claim it had a character arc. You can even extend that to almost literally any element that TOH and Amphibia both did. And not because of time, simply because one is written a hell of a lot better and was more interested in actually telling its story rather than making a bunch of statements that Twitter could freak out about.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[frameacloud]

September 2024

[Originally posted to Orion Scribner's Patreon blog on September 16, 2024.]

I've been thinking for a long time that I need to get back into posting regular updates to my Patreon about what I'm doing instead of assuming you all are following me on other sites where those things are happening. Here are some of those things, which are mostly writings from my original research about otherkin, therianthropes, and other alterhumans.

I have a store on itch.io now! My creations that I've put on it, available to read for free:

A Simple Introduction to Otherkin and Therianthropes, version 2.4.8. My two page long essay explains what we are, in a way that the average person can understand. Written in the limited vocabulary of Simple English, it doesn't use any special words. If you read this essay many years ago and found it sounded rather stilted, don't worry, I completely rewrote this version! It also cites primary sources for each idea. I'm working with volunteers to translate it into many languages. Thanks to them, it's in German, Dutch, Estonian, and Polish. Chinese, Croatian, and Spanish are in progress. On the page, I give links to the ko-fi accounts of the translators so you can tip them, if they chose to allow that.

The Otherkin Timeline. This is my community history book that helped make it possible for other researchers to write about us, so most academic papers on otherkin cite it. Version 2.1 is mostly the version that has been in circulation for more than a decade, plus a few small additions and corrections. The next update of the book will change and expand it considerably, because it will be a collaboration between my fellow community historian and partner system, the House of Chimeras.

I also curated and reviewed collections of other people's creations about alterhumans. Find out where you can play tabletop role-playing games where each of you are members of a plural system on a magical adventure; read 1990s-style punk zines about therianthropy; take your time with literature anthologies of otherkin; or play video games with animal protagonists.

Presentations that I've given in this past year:

While I was staff at this summer's OtherCon 2024, I presented the panel Phantom Limbs and Phantom Sensations, Human and Otherwise. (To watch the video, you need to be signed into Youtube so that you can say you're at least 18. It's an 18+ topic because of some health issues it talks about.) The first half of this is a review of the medical literature on phantom limb phenomena, plus some etiquette tips about how to be respectful of people who have limb differences. The second half summarizes my original research project, the results of my survey, with tons of help from my partner and statistical expert, Page Shepard. This inquired about people who feel sensations of nonhuman body parts, for example, of wings or tails. It was open to people whether or not they call themselves otherkin, therians, or some other sort of alterhuman. It received more than a thousand usable responses, making it the largest recorded survey focused on otherkin or therians. My presentation ended up being overambitious for the time slot, so sometime I want to re-record it with better pacing.

In March, I was staff at the first Centaurus Festival. Together with my partner systems Chimeras and Page, we did a presentation there: How to Run Surveys of the Alterhuman Communities.

Articles I've written for the Otherkin News blog:

I've been covering "anti-furry" bills in the US. These are laws that Republicans have been proposing against students who behave or identify as non-humans. The bills aren't based on based on anything that students are doing in real life. They're based on an urban legend that Republicans made up to satirize transgender students asking for gender-appropriate restrooms by claiming that children who identify as cats ask for litter boxes in classrooms.

Meanwhile, children in real life have been getting into a fad popularized on TikTok in which they exercise on all fours (quadrobics) and craft animal masks. Some of these self-described therians are familiar with therianthropy as a serious integral part of one's identity, whereas others of them only know it as a hobby. I collected a bunch of recent news articles about that from Finland: Therian quadrobics popular for children in Finland; two schools ban animal masks.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Curtis and Honey Autumn This Or That 🍂

Week One: Dried Leaves or Lots of Candles

Summary- 1.2k Curtis Everett x Plus!Sized Reader. Curtis spoils you after a long day at school.

Warnings- Reader uses past coping mechanisms from when she was dating her ex.

THIS IS AN 18+ Only Blog

A/N- Happy Autumn Season! Thank you all for helping make this possible with all the shares and votes on the poll. If you enjoyed, please comment and give a share. Remember every Friday I will be posting a poll to help decide which fall-themed story gets posted next, a This or That. All the love!

Curtis and Honey This or That Masterlist

Life Is Short So Make It Sweet Masterlist

“I’m sure the store thought I was crazy.” Curtis muttered into the phone while Tanya on the other end scoffed. 

“I’m sure your romantic gesture just wooed half the ladies in that store while you were purchasing every candle in the place.” 

Curtis wrestled his door open while having the phone tucked in his shoulder, several bags in his hold were groaning at how heavy they were, threatening to burst if he didn’t hurry up getting them set down. “Maybe the guy who checked me out thought so? He also questioned if I was impressing someone or doing a satanic ritual. ” Curtis glanced around to see the house was empty, short of Binx who meowed at him from one of the kitchen stools, blinking at him lazily like Curtis was disturbing him. The black cat purred when Curtis set his multiple bags down to run a hand over his ear and gave a scritch along his jawline.

Tanya laughed hard into the phone. “What did you say?” 

“Told him it wasn’t his business and handed him the cash. Let him wonder what the fuck I’m up to.” Curtis shut the door with a bump of his foot. 

“Well yes, now everyone working at that store really will think you're crazy.” 

“As if I care. Alright, I gotta go, Honey is gonna be here soon and I still need to clean up a bit.” 

“Okay, she is going to love it Curtis, see you in the office Monday.” 

“Yup, bye.” He hung up the phone quickly to slip it into his pocket. Upstairs he had a lot to do and not a lot of time to get it done. 

The week seemed to never end and honestly, your nerves and tolerance for anything was at the end. The kids had been wild, and restless after their summer away. Getting them back on track with the nice weather outside and stuffy classroom inside was proving to be a challenge. Not to mention the constant reminders from the school board that they were underfunded, understaffed, and expected to give more with limited supplies. You had already dipped into your banking account to get what your room minimally deserved and to have to be told that you were expected to do better was like a physical jab. 

You were just ready to tell all of them to fuck off. 

But now it was the weekend, for a few hours at least you could unwind and maybe forget the school's issues. You had the newest Katee Roberts book on your kindle and you were sure that after Curtis’s week as well, the two of you weren’t going anywhere but the living room couch to decompress. 

It was really all you could hope for and wanted at this point. Going up the steps, you started to mentally discuss with Curtis how a night in was all you could handle for today at least. 

It was easier to expect every scenario with him, be prepared for anything, because people could be unpredictable. Jake taught you that early in the relationship. His reactions could be wildly out of control, often getting mad and upset when you didn’t want to go along with whatever he wanted to do. 

Those times you would stand your ground with him, you had to be ready for kind of accusation thrown your way. 

And old habits die hard still. 

So now you were mentally thinking about Curtis getting angry at your suggestion, that he wanted to go out, hang with you and his friends, and how you would respond. The door swung open to a dim house. “Curtis?” You called out as you set your school bag on the floor to shrug out of your jacket. 

He popped around the corner from the livingroom, his gaze swiftly going up and down you while you pulled your shoes off. “Hey Honey, how was your day? It sounded rough from your message this afternoon.” Reaching you, he grasped your coat from you to hang it up. 

“Still long, didn’t really get any better. Um, did you want me to go out tonight with you?” 

Curtis paused from hanging up your jacket, seeming to try to find how he wanted to answer your question. “I mean… Did you want to Honey? I was planning on staying home, I already called Paulie and told him I wasn’t tending the bar tonight.” 

“Actually that's perfect for me too. I just want to stay here, crash on the couch and unwind. You know, forget this week in the laziest way possible.” 

Curtis nodded as he listened, holding out his hand to you and when you took it, stepping into him, he hugged you loosely, his hands rubbing up and down your back. “I might have something that would work for you Honey.” 

“I don’t know how it can be any better than crashing on the couch though?” You questioned with an arch of your brows and Curtis pressed a kiss to your forehead, tugging you with him. 

“Come upstairs with me and I will show you?” He easily eased you towards the stairs, pausing to let you decide if you wanted to follow.

“I’m always up for your show and tells.” You continued up the stairs, catching his huff of a laugh at your lame school term. When you two reached the upper hallway and to the master bedroom, you caught sight of all the candles, glimmering to fill the dark bedroom in the softest of light. “Oh…” You sighed softly in appreciation at it all. 

“Mmh, I thought maybe…” Curtis eased open the bathroom door to show even more glowing candles around the tub, your favorite bubbles and a glass of wine sitting on the sinks edge, a book resting on the closed toilet seat. “This would help you feel better after this past week.” 

It was hard not to be moved by the gift he gave you, the offering of relaxation among hot bubble bath and flickering candles making an atmosphere that you just wanted to get lost in. “This is wonderful Curtis.” You turned in his hold to look up at him, pressing kisses to his jawline and hugging around him. “But that tub isn’t big enough for us both.” You frowned a bit, your forehead wrinkling at him having to miss out on enjoying this relaxation with you. 

“Yeah, one day I plan on fixing that.” He rubbed at your back. “But how about you go ahead and soak, I can read to you?” He plucked up the book he brought in.

You really didn’t know how to react the gesture, immediately going to say he did enough already, he shook his head at you to silence you. “I’m offering Honey because I want to do this with you, not because I feel like I have to.”

All you could do was smile up at him. “I would really appreciate that.” You eased from his hold, breathing in a deep calming breath to let all your earlier worries start to drift away. Curtis let his hands slide down your sides to grasp your shirt. “Thank you for taking care of me Curtis, for loving me.” 

“You make it easy to do Honey.” Was his response as you lifted your arms and he eased your shirt off you to land back into the bedroom beyond.

[nnnyxie]

Okay wait wait wait

You know I adore fan!Reader but what if it was Writer!reader??? Like writing fanfiction about Izuku x reader or generally hero x reader and their blog is fairly popular (assuming they use Tumblr bc yes) reader is friends with maybe Denki And Sero through some weird as connections because they‘re just a random ass civilian but keep getting introduced to heros this way

Through that they get a better understanding of the heros personality’s and can write more realistic ffs >:) maybe they‘re Denkis roomie because reader is broke and denki needs someone to care for his pet or something while he’s away- and they‘re writing a Deku x reader fiction right now and then the doorbell rings and they leave their laptop open in the kitchen and get the door- IT‘S DEKU!! They blush and stammer, letting him in saying denki should be home soon

To their demise Deku is met with a life sitze cardboard cutout of Himself (he still towers over it) and reader hurriedly tries to hide it away with the other merch

As they are busy he notices the open laptop, he REALLY didn’t mean to snoop but…holy shit

The things he finds..he blushes and quickly returns to the living space (like living room open kitchen situation yk?) and quietly Sits on the couch, flustered

Something along those lines :)

#𖢥 izuku anon

wait bc this is literally genius and ily

you’re childhood best friends with denki <3

to save up some money, the two of y’all move in together after high school. he wants to start his own agency with sero and you wanna start your own thing!! (idk you choose??)

getting that out of the way.

denki never really let’s you know when people are coming over. he’s kinda annoying like that. it’s caused a lot of awkward moments and meetings.

like when you first met sero— you were cooking and screaming the lyrics to ‘kiss me through the phone’ by soulja boy when he walked in. it was… embarrassing to say the least.

but hey— you’re good friends now!!

anywaysss

for the first time ever!!! denki let you know that he had a friend coming over!! he didn’t say which one or what time but— at least he warned you???

you didn’t think much of it cause it was probably sero or kirishima, since they come over the most.

you heard a knock on the door— which was odd bc usually one of them would just burst in. they had their own keys— they were supposed to be emergency keys but still!! it was odd!!

ofc you were silly nd didn’t look through the peep hole!! (remember kids, always check before opening the door)

when you opened it you slammed it back shut.

“uhm— does— does denki live here?” the person asked through the door. you opened it again, “sorry… uh— yeah uhm… he does.” you tried to act cool but your stomach was twisting.

“i’m midoriya izuku. i was supposed to come over and help him with paperwork today… is he home?” you silently cursed denki for not telling you, your favorite hero would be coming over. “uhh not yet… he’ll be home in like,” you checked your phone, “uhm probably an hour or so.” you were shaking from anxiety. you weren’t prepared for this— at all.

“would it be alright if i waited?” he asked, very politely. you just gave a quick nod and let him inside.

you felt like running out the door cause like— what if you made a fool of yourself?? what if you make him uncomfortable??? what if he sees your merch of him??

wait— did you close your bedroom door?

you’d been in the living room all day so you had no need for it to be closed—

and your bedroom is very visible from the living room so it’s not like it mattered if it was or not—

your bedroom is very visible from the living room.

your posters. your plush of his mask. your sweatshirt.

the fucking cardboard cutout.

then— you remembered you also left your laptop open. with your current deku one-shot on display.

“oh, do you write?” izuku says, seeing your laptop open, luckily he was far enough away so that the words were fuzzy. “well! uhm!” you shouted, accidentally. you were just nervous, okay??

you clear your throat— “yes uh— yeah. i do.”

“that’s so cool! can i—” suddenly, you dashed towards your bedroom, remembering the big ass posters and cutout that were on complete display. “hah hah! sorry! uhh… had to uhm… close a door! bad omens!” izuku gave you a weird look but nodded in understanding. i mean, some people have different beliefs—

“so uhh you can go ahead and take a seat! i’ll be in the kitchen! let me know if you need something!” you grabbed your laptop, and beelined towards the kitchen. “uh yeah— thank you,” izuku was a bit upset, honestly. does he make you feel uncomfortable? do you have something against him? why are you acting like this?

it’d been hardly two minutes and izuku already got bored (he has autism & adhd, he told me)

so. he did what anyone would do and began to snoop!!

he quietly looked at the pictures hung throughout the apartment— they were mainly just you and denki, it made him wonder if the two of you were together.

but then he remembered that denki called you his best friend rather than significant other. (he smiled)

after he looked throughout the living room and hallway— he wanted to peak at the bathroom.

IT SOUNDS WEIRD— I KNOW!!!

BUT!!!!

the bathroom can tell a lot about someone. like the kind of soap you use can tell the sort of scent you like or how cleanly you are (if that makes sense).

or if you have paper towels rather than a bath towel can tell whether you are cautious when it comes to ‘cross contamination’ (lord knows you wouldn’t want to share a drying rag with denki).

“uhm, excuse me?” izuku peaks through the doorway of the kitchen. you tense, “uh— yes?” “where’s the bathroom?” “it’s uhm down the hallway to the left.”

he smiles and thanks you. then makes his way towards the bathroom.

now. you see— the way the apartment is set up is odd.

your bedroom door is on the left but!! it’s tilted.

(i’m terrible with descriptions so here’s a few examples)

anyways. yeah. that’s how it is.

so i think you know where i’m going with this.

now YOU’D THINK !!!! he’d know that the left meant the LEFT left and not the TILTED left. but, no.

though, it’s understandable!! the setup is a little confusing.

he creeps on down the hallway, once again looking at the pictures of you and denki.

once he reaches the tilted left door, he opens it. he’s met with a, slightly shorter, cardboard cutout of him. as well as multiple posters and a few strawn out sweatshirts.

so that’s why.

he feels a blush come on. his entire face feels like it’s on fire and his ears burn as well.

izuku quietly closes your bedroom door and goes to sit back on the couch.

while that all happened, your nerves began to settle and you hyped yourself up to go bring him a glass of water— and maybe start a conversation.

“uhm— i thought that maybe, you’d like some water,” you walked in with two cups. he was a little sweaty— and still very red. he stuttered out a ‘thank you’ and basically chugged the water.

“how long have you known denki?” you ask, feeling stupid because, he’s probably known him since UA.

“oh— uhm i’ve known him since we were about… fifteen, i think? what— what about you?” his face was still very red. it started to make you nervous. “we’ve been friends since we were eight… next door neighbors and all that.” he gave a nod and began tapping his foot. his nervousness was rubbing off on you.

“so uh… what’s it like being a hero?” his tapping instantly stopped— and his energy changed. it was like he lit up. “well— it’s different for everyone! for me, it’s amazing. i love being a hero. i love helping people and being able to see their happy faces after rescuing them. i’ve always wanted to make people happy, and save them all with a smile. kind of like all might. now that i’m able to— i feel so full.” izuku smiled, staring at his hands that rested in his lap. “being able to do this all— being able to be a hero— i just feel so happy.” izuku smiled and looked back up, meeting your eyes.

“and, i love getting to meet my amazing fans.” he held a sort of hint in his eyes— almost saying ‘i know’.

eeee this was pretty fun!!

i’ll be so real, i wrote some of this when i was tipsy

[thinkthin200]

Are you someone who knows Ana quite intimately? Do you and Ana struggle to find something to eat that is low calorie and not fattening? Do you just want something tasty you can enjoy a few bites of before putting it away again? Do you need a safe meal you can have in front of others?

Well, this might be the blog for you.

Hi, I'm Anabelle and I love to cook, but I don't love to eat. I'm getting the recipes you need to make sure the people in your life don't notice how close you and Ana are right now. Sometimes your family is going to force you to eat, but here's the thing, if YOU say "I can eat, but I really want this specific thing..." they'll be so glad you're eating they won't bat an eyelash at your low calorie meal.

Please note that these meals are low in calories and are easily halved if you feel it's too much food at once. I'll explain at the end how the best ways to lessen the fat content and calories. These recipes all have salt to help maintain your water balance for all that water you drink, proteins to help maintain muscle instead of it going with the fat, and sugars to help maintain your blood sugar so that you don't pass out when fasting or on your low calorie days.

Also, this is obviously portioned for people with ana. Increase the portions if cooking for others. You can message me and I'll help you portion it out.

Alright. Let's get started.

Meal 1: shrimp and egg patty

You need

1/4 cup of chicken broth

1/4 tbsp of soy sauce

1/4 tbsp of oyster sauce(optional)

1/16 cup of cold water

2 ounces of uncooked shrimp, deveined and shelled

1/8 cup of bean sprouts

I/2 green onion

2 large egg whites

Boil your broth, oyster sauce if you choose it, and soy sauce. Add cold water.you can add 1/2 tbsp of corn starch if you want the mixture to thicken and be a sauce for the eggs but you can just use it as a light flavoring without the corn starch.

In another pan, heat 1/2 tbsp of olive oil and then cladding your shrimp, onion, bean sprouts.

Whisk eggs in a bowl with 1/2 tsp of soy sauce. Add into your shrimp mixture until eggs and scrambled around.

Top with green onions, and serve with a bit of the broth mixture you made earlier for a topic sauce. If you didnt add corn starch I suggest dropping a spoon full over your eggs for flavor.

Now two eggs is a whole lot for us folks with ana. Cut your meal in half and you'll be in less than 100 calories. One egg mixture with a tbsp of sauce should run you about 90-100 calories. You can even save the rest for another day! Leftovers in your fridge makes it look like you're trying to eat more so your family will be excited. And if you're like me, you know you won't eat leftovers anyway, so you can ditch it after a day or two and claim you ate it.

If you eat it all, there isn't a huge reason to panic either because two patties with 1/4 cup of your starched up sauce is only 150 calories, and that's IF you use a full 1/4 cup. For all purposes, 1 tbsp is enough. You're not gunna be licking your plate.

Anyway, I hope you like this recipe and I hope it helps some of yall out. I have collected alot of recipes over the last year that are very low calorie, easily accessible, and delicious. Just because I'm not eating 2000 calories a day like a fat ass doesn't mean I can't have something tasty at least once a day(especially to please the family so they think I'm eating right.)

Let me know if you try it and if you like it. If you have any recipe requests let me know! If you have a favorite safe food that you want to spice up without sacrificing that beautiful thin figure.

I'll continue to post meals that I'm using!

[sunshine-embry]

Just because I need to yap about my opinions :3

I have the urge to rant about my Be More Chill Two River vs Broadway version, so I am! I might make another post of just things I like in the songs or entire musical itself if I ever feel motivated enough to 🤗

Before I yap a lot, I just need to say I'm a bit biased towards the Broadway version because I have a record of it 😁

Anyway!

More Than Survive: I personally prefer the Broadway version, BUT I HAVE REASONS I PROMISE. Idk why but the two river version feels a bit too fast for me, but that could just be because I'm used to hearing the Broadway version that I think is slowed down a bit. 🤔

Besides from that, the conversation that Brooke and Chloe have I think is better in the two river version because it introduces Madeline, which Jeremy uses as a story in Be More Chill Part 1 (does that sentence make sense?) Meanwhile the conversation in the broadway version is just there 😑

The "Christines" in the Two River version feels especially too fast, like they were trying to cut down the run time, while the Broadway version just lets it go at a slower pace which I really like.

I also prefer the instrumentals in the Broadway version (idk if there's actually any change to them, it's just at a more digestible pace like I said before) but I see people saying that the Broadway instrumentals of the songs are worse? Idk, I just like it better.

I Love Play Rehearsal: I don't have anything much to say about I Love Play Rehearsal, but I still do have a few things. I really don't prefer any version, they're both equal to me.

Also the fact that in the Broadway version, Christine goes on a small rant about how there isn't any good roles for women in theater anymore which is kinda ironic considering that one of the main criticisms of Be More Chill is that the girl characters are all one-note characters :/

In the Broadway version, I really love when Stephanie Hsu emphasizes the "I LOVE play rehearsal" at the end, it makes me laugh every time without fail.

Also, the Broadway version is faster than the two river version and I don't like that. I guess I just like slow songs :/

The Squip Song Something about the Broadway version of this song makes me so happy and idk why.

Anyway, I really like in the Broadway version when Jeremy whispers drugs even though he gets stoned with Michael. It's funny.

I am kinda sad that the Broadway version cut out the one part with Rich after "it helps you rule", 'cause it was really funny to me. This whole song is really funny to me.

I don't have that much to talk about for the Squip Song 'cause I usually listen to the broadway version because it makes me very very happy for no reason (literally, if you see me listening to it, I will actually smile sm)

Two Player Game: I know I'm going to come on strongly rn, but two player game is my least favorite Broadway version of a BMC song. Fight me.

First of all, the instrumentation kinda falls flat. The original gives such a warm feel to it if you know what I mean, but the Broadway one just kinda feels soulless.

I don't know how to explain it, but just know that I prefer the two river version wayyy over the Broadway version.

The Squip Enters: This is not a song, it's nearly a minute of screaming 🤗

Be More Chill Part 1: My main thing I don't like in the Broadway version of this is the Squip's talking voice. Emphasis on talking voice.

I adore how Jason Tam sings the new part added to the song, I love it sm. But I don't like the smoker voice. It gives me the creeps.

Besides that, like I said before, I love the new addition to the song in the Broadway version, it makes me happy for reasons I can't even begin to explain.

In both versions, I really like the part where Jeremy is telling Chloe and Brooke about how he used to date Madeline even though he didn't. Speaking of Madeline, I have a Madeline ask blog called @tres-magnifique (yes, I did only add this here to self-sponser)

Do You Wanna Ride?: I'm pretty sure it's nearly identical in both versions, having similar instrumentals and the same actresses in both. There's nothing much to talk about.

Be More Chill Part 2: Controversial opinion, but Be More Chill pt 1 should just be called Be More Chill and this song should be called Be More Chill Reprise. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. I have nothing else to say about this song.

I can't do MTS reprise or Sync Up because they are two very different songs.

A Guy That I'd Kinda Be Into: Controversial opinion, I don't like this song. I tried to force myself to like it, but something about it I don't like. Like I said for the past two - correct me if I'm wrong - but I'm pretty sure the two versions are basically the same, there's no version I prefer.

Upgrade: Finally something I can yap about! First of all, I prefer the Broadway version. It's just something about it I really like!

I really like how Brooke tries to speak French knowing that Jeremy used to date Madeline. I just think that it's a nice touch.

Anyway, I really like that Brooke and The Squip don't share a part at the beginning, because the two river version where they do makes me really uncomfortable. Plus, I really like Brooke's part in the Broadway version.

I don't understand why they changed "damn" to "now" in the Broadway version. I'm not complaining, but it's just weird to me.

I don't really mind the fact that in the Broadway version, they take out Jake's part about getting sporty and playing cricket. I know that some people compare it to the part in Voices In My Head, in which Jake asks Christine out using something that he likes, but Jeremy does it using something she likes, but Idrc.

What I am kinda mad that they took out in the Broadway version though, is that they took out the part where Jake talks about his parents being in a money laundering scheme. Idk, it just makes me kinda sad.

I'm so glad that in the Broadway version they made Loser Geek Whatever it's own song. IT'S SO GOOD JUST FOR A SMAL PART?!?! LIKE WHAT?!?! I might be a little biased considering it's my favorite BMC song, but still though I'm so happy 😁

I also like how they added the whole "I'm tired of being the person that everyone thinks that I am" part, because it really shows that everyone (minus Michael) isn't happy with something and it just adds another layer to their characters. The overlapping also just makes me happy. I think that's it for upgrade.

I'm too lazy to rant anymore, tell me if u want me to do this with the second act. Also thank you for listening to me yap for a solid 10 minutes.

[skrevel]

I really need to info dump about my rooks so badly. Idk if anyone else will read it but I run this blog for me so I'm making it. I'm doing three different playthroughs at the same time, because I'm crazy. I have my blind first time playthrough which I have done with all the dragon age games. I progress a bit with this one then catch up to it with my other playthroughs. Then I made my lavellan playthrough because I didn't want to make myself wait until I finished my blind playthrough to get more content for that. I didn't plan to make a third character but I loved the crows so much I NEEDED to make a crow rook and to my surprise it has turned into my favorite of the bunch.

Nyxi is my blind playthrough rook. She's a human, a Lord's of Fortune treasure goblin, and a mage. I like to think she's a real girls girl. She's romancing Lucanis and I like to think she makes Solas listen to how attractive she thinks he is before they discuss anything concrete about saving the world. She's a lot like Kelly from the office, if kelly wasn't as self centered. I think she's been a drifter most of her life and while she likes traveling and hunting treasure, I also think she's really jealous of people who have a place they feel like they absolutely belong.

Sorcha is also a mage, but she's an elf and a shadow dragon. She's very involved with the anti slavery movement. I headcanon that she had a brush with slavers herself and got help from them. Then, she realized later on she could do a lot more with her magic. She realized she could actually us it to do something worthwhile. She's romancing Davrin, grumpy man taking care of a cute animal was too hard to resist. She has less headcanons than the other two but I still really love her.

Finally, there's Acanita 'Nite' for short (named after aconitum which is the scientific name for wolfsbane and also poisonous). She's my crow, and the only non mage of the bunch. And honestly she REALLY wants to be able to do magic. Who wouldn't honestly? She's been fairly happy with the crows and her life with them. But there are things about being an assassin she doesn't like and has always wanted to do something more worthwhile. I think that's part of the reason she's sent off with Varric in the first place. I think Viago was at least aware of this to some extent. I think she's probably more lonely than she let's on. People rarely see her as her, they see a crow or more recently "Rook" but they don't see HER. If that makes sense. Which I think makes even more sense for her to be the character who romances Emmerich. He is a very warm person from the start and is very interested in asking rook if they would tell him stories about themselves and their travels. She's also absolutely DELIGHTED to help with any kind of rituals or rites. She loves magic and he's very open in including her in it tangentially and sharing about it, he's literally a teacher. She doesn't care that it's necromancy, she's a crow a dead body is a dead body it doesn't really freak her out.