#also i noticed the way i wrote this could be interpreted in a lot of ways
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gummy-axolotl · 3 months ago
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Do you ever overhear somebody close to you talking about how they hate a group of people, listing reasons they're "horrible" and "bad" or whatever...
And they don't realize that you're one of them?
It hurts so bad. To hear someone you love indirectly say they hate you. Worrying that if they ever find out, or even suspect, they might leave forever?
Because the hate for this specific aspect that defines the group is the only thing they see. they don't see multifaceted people. They only see the trait they hate
What if, even though they know you and love you, all of that goes away once they see that part of you. Suddenly you're disgusting to them.
And they don't even know it yet
But you do
You stew in your thoughts and anxieties because you just found out how much this person hates you
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keyotos · 1 year ago
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he does it so well
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summary ⎯ hot things they do.
includes ⎯ dan heng, gepard, blade, sampo, & jing yuan.
tana's words ⎯ struggling with writing requests rn so i wrote something short to clear writer's block. im sorry guys i'll get to them soon i promise 😭
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dan heng
⎯ waits for you before turning the page on a book. he notices that you are reading along with him and waits for you to signal that you're ready before carrying on.
⎯ private > public. he will brush your hand in public but he will be all over you in private. instead of only brushing your hand, dan heng will be brushing up on you. more touchy in private than in public.
⎯ pushes the hair out of your face when it's getting in your way. but he does it in a more sensual way. his fingers graze your lips as he agonizingly drags his hand through your hair.
⎯ long day? melts into your body at night. runs his hands up and down your arms as a way to relieve stress?? leans his head into your neck and sighs so dreamily??? like hello?? lips grazing your neck???
⎯ hot morning voice. raspy and rough. also kind of scratchy. when he tells you, "five more minutes," how could you say no to THAT voice? he knows of this effect and makes sure to use it to his full advantage
⎯ very observant. knows everything you like; knows your routines; knows you. he's the first to compliment you if you got a haircut or new outfit/nails/whatever. it always make you blush bc how is he always the first one to figure these things out?!?@#$%
⎯ gets jealous a little too easily. doesn't do anything verbal about it. opts for being a little more touchy than usual. he thinks it's embarrassing and he wants to hide his face into his pillow when you tease him about it.
⎯ lip biter. not when y'all are kissing, but when he tries to hide his smile or his laugh he bites his lip. you find it so cute and you just want to grab him and just connect your lips with his.
⎯ nerd. hot sexy nerd. he'll tell you about animals and mitosis and python and he's just so intelligent. helps you with problem solving things (probably puzzles idk) and he stands/leans over you with his breath dancing on the back of your neck.
⎯ jawline kisser. if he wants something from you he gives chaste kisses to your jawline. he does that when he's bored too ig. very big on jaw kisses and secretly loves when you flush because of them.
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gepard
⎯ blushes when you compliment him. he looks so adorable you just wanna pinch his cheeks and smother him. he gets even more embarrassed
⎯ big domestic guy. ntm on casual stuff or situationships. if he wants you, he'll let you know (even if he's blushing his way through it).
⎯ he is not shy. in the beginning he might be a little shy, but later on the relationship he'll get bolder. chaste kisses on the lips becomes long make-out sessions on his bed after a rather tiring day on the front lines. and if he hasn't seen you in a while... i will let you guys interpret.
⎯ leans down to listen to you. he's literally gigantic and when he LEANS DOWN just to hear what you say... and it's so innocent too but the way you look up at him doesn't make it so innocent anymore...
⎯ pins you to the wall on accident. may or may not be inspired by teenage dream. anyway, he does a lot of hot things on accident and doesn't even realize it. so you are trying not to explode while gepard is enjoying his merry day while caging you underneath him.
⎯ acts like a knight since u always make jokes that he's your "knight in shining armor." so dedicated that he kisses your knuckles out of nowhere and it makes you want to FAINT. like you could be reading and (out of nowhere) he takes your hand away from your book and kisses ur knuckles. AND HE HOLDS EYE CONTACT WHILE DOING IT.
⎯ flirty without knowing it. says something cute and flirty but doesn't realize it until you say something. and he says it so calmly too; like drops it into a convo
⎯ runs a hand through your hair before you two sleep. he just wants to keep you close and he just wants to feel you because he never gets to come home often.
⎯ ROLLS UP. HIS SLEEVES. TO HIS FOREARMS. he does this when he's particularly stressed. like come here i can show you a way to destress (i'm so sorry).
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blade
⎯ he's only shirtless when YOU are around. he trusts you enough to show all of himself around you. you are reliable and trustworthy enough to be able to know the entirety of him: his body, his mind, his past, etc.
⎯ intensely loyal to you. like if he had to choose between the world and you he would obviously choose you. would do anything for you, would buy anything for you, would steal anything for you: you guys get the gist.
⎯ he's so loving only towards you. silver wolf and kafka like to tease him for it (especially silver wolf... bc how can he play a game with you and not her). he does little things for you, like picking lint off of your outfit or pulling your hair back when you're eating something. or pulling your hair back when you're doing something...
⎯ LOVES when you wear his clothing. his shirt his jacket ANYTHING. whatever it is, he will be going crazy for it. has a thing for when you wear his shirts; you just look so good and you're wearing something that's HIS. not anyone else's; HIS SHIRT.
⎯ has a little possessive streak. it's not a weird and overprotective possessive thing tho. more so, "no silver wolf you are not going to force them to play games with you." maybe it's more overprotective than possessive, but secretly he wants you all to himself and he does NOT want to share.
⎯ speaking of being overprotective, he is also just regular protective. he walks on the side near the road so you don't have to. he grabs your arm to pull you away from something dangerous. he shields you so he'll get hit before you. yk, cute stuff like that. your safety is his priority, no matter what.
⎯ he is the type to be like, "who did this to you??" and he WILL be hunting that person down. but not without urgently caring for you first.
⎯ his touch is so filled with emotion, genuineness, earnestness, and sincere. i hc that blade doesn't have much relationship experience and he isn't very wordy, so when he hugs you or touches you, all of his emotions are poured into his hands/fingers/etc. all of what he feels for you (which is very much) is shown in his physical touch.
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sampo
⎯ MANSPREADS. i said it. HE IS A MANSPREADER. elbows resting on top of his knees as he says something super coy or flirty towards you, and sometimes you even have to PHYSICALLY avert your eyes away.
⎯ a tease. if you lean in for a kiss, he'll lean backwards. if he's missing you, his fingertips will dance along the bare skin of your sides, and then he'll pull away to make you want him as much as he wants you. he is so INFURIATING.
⎯ if he flusters you and you blush n try to cover your face with something (literally anything), he'll grab whatever you're holding so he could see your face. to him, you look the prettiest when you're smiley and flustered, such as in those situations.
⎯ if you're going on a long tangent about something, he'll kiss you on your lips randomly. he doesn't mind your rambling, he thinks it's adorable, which is why he does it. it always leaves you with your jaw dropped before you could continue what you were saying.
⎯ the type to lock himself in a closet with you but on accident. you guys don't know how you two even got into that situation, but sampo is with you, so he couldn't be happier. big quality time guy.
⎯ brings you little trinkets or gifts based on his "business" adventures. whenever he sees something, he gets it for you. his mind is usually racing about you anyway, so he can't help himself when he develops a spending problem because of you
⎯ sings with you to songs. you could be singing in the shower and then you hear this agitating, grating voice. he's a terrible singer, but he'll do anything as long as you're there with him, so he sings with you anyway.
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jing yuan
⎯ wakes up and the first thing he does is admire you. he studies every single one of your facial features, acting as if he's never seen them before when he wakes up to your face every day. he finds beauty all around you: in your sleeping face, on the bridge of your nose, the pout of your lips when you're asleep. he just loves all of you.
⎯ a flirt and PROUD. he's bold with his quips. not afraid of initiating affection in public but he prefers private which i think is much sexier.
⎯ neck kisser. heavy on neck kisses (especially in the morning). practically an entire body kisser tbh. he can't get enough of you, and in a world where loneliness strives (immortality), he's grateful that he has you for the time being.
⎯ grabs your chin and tilts your head up if he wants you. he doesn't do it forcefully, more like a gentle smush. he locks eyes with you and omfg it makes your heart beat sm. like why are you looking at me LIKE THAT. so sensually or whateva....
⎯ urges you to come closer to him so he can whisper something in your ear. when do you come closer to him, he pulls you by the waist and gets super close to your ear. like lips brushing your ear. and he blows a raspberry in it. so stupid but too lovable.
⎯ lies down in your lap if you two are lounging together. since he's so busy, he doesn't get to lounge around often, so he likes to be as close to you as possible.
⎯ if he wants to kiss you, you will know. not because he'll tell you. but because of the specific LOOK he gives you. his eyes are narrowed under the spell of seduction, focusing only on your lips. his mouth is slightly parted like he is ready to kiss you, and the way he tilts his head down...
⎯ patient for you. will wait for you even when he is dying to feel you once again. he has to deal with yanqing so he holds a lot of patience. but he won't rush you with anything, lets you move at your own pace, and gives you help if needed. overall sweet guy.
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i hope this motivates me into finishing my requests
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soularsss · 4 months ago
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Drawing Likeness: with Tem!
okaay since a few people actually showed interest in me sharing a bit of what I've been doing to figure out how to really capture likeness, specifically Temuera Morrison, I figured id do my best to write it out
I am also going to entice you with some of my recent clone art! (oooh some of it is unreleaaasedd)
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I am putting the whole thing under the cut because I have a feeling its going to be long:
Read more!!!
a couple disclaimers before we start
-This is not some definite post about how everyone should be drawing clones, nor is it in any way claiming that this is the right way. This is just my musings as I stare at a mans face for way too long and try to replicate it
-I am inexperienced. As kind as you all are to me, drawing real people is relatively new to me, capturing a persons identity through their features is difficult for anybody, and I am no different. I have watched many a video on likeness and had my share of classes, but If im being honest, i rarely put it into practice successfully. So there'll probably be errors in this post or things i will come back to in a few months and wish I had said/done differently
ANYWAYs you guys get my vibe im just here to ramble and today we are rambling about mr copy paste. I am doing this for Law, my clone boy, because I plan on delving further into oc fanart and I want to put effort into representing him correctly!
SO LETS BEGIN
Before even deciding what specific pose of a person I want to draw, I tend to grab a bunch of references and compile them like so
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(all of these can be found on my pinterest)
Why so many? Well, we are about to delve into facial features, so when we are dealing with photos we have to take into account that there are an abundance of circumstances that will influence how a persons face will appear, some of these include:
focal length: All of these are taken on different devices, and focal length can play a big part in distorting faces
age will play a part, your face changes a bunch throughout your life!
lighting, while not as major, can muddy the waters and make it difficult to interpret facial planes and features
SO, to make sure we get a proper grasp of what's really going on, I like to make sure we have lots of options to compare and contrast with.
Next up! What I like to do is block out the main facial features with colour on different layers, the features I block out usually are the general face shape, eyebrows, eyes, nose and lips. But what you are looking for is the defining features of a person, so that could include other things! Maybe a scar, or some particularly prominent cheekbones.
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I dont have any rhyme or reason when it comes to picking my colours, all that matters is you can see all the shapes clearly.
Now I may be biased, because Ive been staring at these for 4 hours, but notice how it still looks like Tem? :D
Anyways, now we can break these parts down, and you'll see what I mean about compare and contrast:
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We'll start with isolating the facial shape, putting all these next to eachother you'll notice they arent exactly the same (partly because of my shoddy work) But the distinguishing features run through each shape! Namely the very soft rectangular shape I sketched out in the bottom right there. Along with his soft, wide jaw structure.
I did the same for the rest of his features!
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You'll notice I highlight the prominent shapes and ratios,
When drawing anything, it is important to start from the very base shapes and build up.
When drawing something you want to look like someone, those shapes relative to other shapes is what makes it look like them.
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I didnt use the same technique with his eyes and lips, but I wrote out some helpful info for them! More importantly for his eyes.
When drawing eyes, I find the most important part is where exactly I draw the creases, (along with the overall shape of the eye itself) it is important to understand where those will present themselves with hooded eyes.
NOW, with an understanding of his facial features in place, lets take a detour to colours:
before I start, a couple things to note:
-Temuera morrison versus the clone troopers in the animated shows:
While I love the animated shows they don't exactly stay close to their source material. Im going to link here to an excellent post discussing whitewashing specifically in relation to the clones.
Temuera is Māori, of Te Arawa (Ngāti Whakaue) and Tainui (Ngāti Maniapoto, Ngāti Rarua) whakapapa, and also has Scottish and Irish ancestry.
The Māori people are the indigenous Polynesian people of mainland New Zealand (Aotearoa). Māori originated with settlers from East Polynesia. Māori people often vary in skin tone, Skin colour doesn't determine ethnicity. There's often a correlation but it's not a requirement.
But that is a tangent! What we are aiming for is to stay true to Temuera.
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Bringing back my reference photos from before, Ive colour picked a buncha values and theyre all over the place. Why doesnt this work?
Similarly to earlier, you have to take into account the photos themselves. Many things like lighting, colour grading (when it comes to filmography) and makeup, can alter how a skin colour presents in photo.
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You can attempt to get true to life by swatching from certain places on the face. Here I've tried to pick some photos with good lighting, and I've also tried to avoid overly lit/shaded areas.
Tem has a very warm, tan skin tone, Instead of colour picking I tend to try and replicate it myself, but I do often bring in references to make sure Im staying true to the source!
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a brief intermission to talk about colour theory, something I myself struggle with alot. Often, when putting in flat colours without a background, I will forget to make sure the colours i intend to use will work with the skin tone i have picked! (something that is apparent in older works of mine, not just in relation to clones, but in general, the colours I end up with stray largely from their original sources and it is something I am doing my best to keep in mind and improve in! Although I don't think i am nearly experienced enough in the topic to say I have succeeded yet lol.)
anyways back to Tem :))
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Now we can put all of that into practice! Things to keep in mind when drawing out a piece next to a reference like this:
the distance between the eyebrows? how far down his face does his nose go? Basically just, in relation to eachother, where do all those shapes we found earlier, sit?
The screenshot above is from before I did it myself, but instead of directly tracing from the reference, a handy trick I use it to complete your sketch first, and then overlay a traced version to see where your inconsistencies are! Alternatively, you could move your sketch over the image, but I didnt do it that way so!! uh!! im sure it works exactly the same!!!!
When it comes to a final illustration, or any sketch that isnt a direct study, of course you can push and pull and stylise! You'll see below that I'm not exactly 1:1 to my reference photo either.
The important thing with stylisation, or at least my own personal understanding of stylisation is that you need to thoroughly understand the thing you are stylizing! "You need to know the rules to break them" and all that. While shapes, lines and rendering can change, when it comes to drawing someone, and making it look like them, you have to make sure to keep their core features true to source. Caricature can capture a persons vibe whilst drastically exaggerating features, but it will only look like them if you KEEP THOSE FEATURES!!!! SHAPES!!! AHHH!!
But that is just my perspective on the discussion of style versus realism, please dont take is as Law, I dont know what Im on about half the time!!
anyways, after fixing your sketch, add local colours!
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I rexified him because why tf not! But this is where you can go crazy with that clone personalization!
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And then here is a very very barely rendered version (if you guys want me to explain how i RENDER that would need to be a completely different post, and I havent had anyone ask about it yet so who knows! maybe one day) But I digress, hopefully you learnt something new through my ramblings! It has certainly helped me organize my thoughts and I have also found some areas I would like to focus more on in the future to improve my own art!
TLDR: In order to understand an object, be it a face or a building or literally anything, you have to break it down to its simplest forms, understanding LARGER shapes will help you immensely in the long run
If you guys like this sorta content do let me know! I'd be down to do similar things for armor/anything really, I am very anti gatekeep so really anything at all you want to know! Send me an ask :))
also if you see a spelling mistake.. i don’t know how that got there
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bentwolioo · 2 years ago
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Ok so why did Gerard wear the same costume for 6 shows???
Like a lot of people, I noticed the Aotearoa (NZ) & Australia tour drum head messages seemed to be about 9/11. The costume also tells a very specific story that lines up with this--and there was more to Melbourne Night 2 than Gerard deciding it was casual Friday. I'm gonna go through my personal interpretation and explain why I think MCR did this at the end of their tour. 
TLDR: This Is Not The End.
I will include image credits in the reblog since there are a lot!
AUCKLAND, March 11 2023
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Based on the skirt suit and drumhead ‘FIX FAX FUCK YOU’, Gerard is dressed as an office worker. For simplicity I will refer to the costume as the Secretary, I see it as both a character and a metaphor. Auckland establishes the monotony and repetition of daily life prior to 9/11, ‘FIX FAX FUCK YOU’ showing an attitude of boredom unaware of the events to come. 
BRISBANE 1, March 13 2023
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The main difference between Auckland and Brisbane 1 is the briefcase. This indicates the point in time--Auckland is the days before 9/11 and Brisbane 1 is the morning before the attacks begin. The secretary travels to work, thinking ‘Everything under Control’.
BRISBANE 2, March 14 2023
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The drumhead message ‘Here Comes the AIRPLANE’ marks this as minutes or even seconds before the towers are hit. Brisbane 2 is the first time Gerard wears the coat, representing everyone taking cover. 
MELBOURNE 1, March 16 2023
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I unfortunately could not find a good photo of Gerard wearing the coat from this show but you can see it on the floor behind him!
The Melbourne shows are as the towers collapse. Pretty straightforward from the Melbourne 1 drumhead ‘TERROR’. This show also had the only appearance of the umbrella, which I interpret as representing the rubble and destruction raining down. The umbrella is closed, showing the secretary is unprotected and ultimately killed when the towers fall. 
MELBOURNE 2, March 17 2023
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It seemed odd at first that Melb 2 was the only show that Gerard didn’t wear a costume for, but I actually believe he still did. This is the key to my interpretation: Gerard is dressed as himself witnessing the towers collapse, on his way to work at Cartoon Network. This the only show on the Oceania leg where they played Skylines and Turnstiles*, the song Gerard wrote immediately after 9/11. The drumhead ‘BARK BARK BARK’ makes you picture, a chained dog, representing the powerless horror of only being able to watch as the destruction unfolds--the deeply personal experience that drove Gerard to form MCR. 
SYDNEY 1, March 19 2023
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Blood!!!! At Sydney 1, we see the continuing aftermath of the 9/11 attacks. The secretary has died but keeps moving, picking up her briefcase and carrying on. This could be showing how a lot of people’s faith in the US government and in the world died, but life had to find a way to move on. 
SYDNEY 2, March 20 2023
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At Sydney 2, the addition of Gerard’s white contacts shows the Secretary decaying--but she has not stopped. Frank changed the drumhead message from ‘UNKILLABLE’ to ‘UNKILLABLES’, expanding the meaning from the context of his accident in Sydney to include the band, the fans, and on a wider level everything MCR represents. 
I think all of this is a metaphor for the band’s career in multiple ways. Firstly, the Secretary being undead of course reflects MCR’s return, and her zombified appearance aligns with the imagery of their new era (decay, swarm, the destroyed buildings of the stage set). Secondly, it is very interesting to me that they did this sequence of costumes and drumheads at the end of their headlining tour, rather that at the start. The story they told seems to imply a rebirth--MCR was ‘born’ out of the trauma, pain and confusion of 9/11, so the fact that they represented the start of the band on stage signifies a second beginning. 
(Thank you for reading to the end and if I got anything wrong please let me know!)
*EDIT 1 (23/03/23): They actually also played Skylines at Brisbane 2. I do think the position of Skylines in the Melb 2 set is still significant. They played it as the first encore song which mirrors it being the first MCR song and written shortly after 9/11.
EDIT 2 (30/03/23): So actually 8 shows of Secretary Gerard when you include Japan! Tokyo and Osaka analysis here
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hessolivagant · 5 months ago
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I want to talk about my interpretation of mikes smile after wills speech. Obviously it's a super sweet smile but when you really look into it given the context it's a bit suspicious no?
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IS IT JUST ME OR IS IT OFF? I know a lot of us bylers can agree that Mike is NOT stupid, he's very smart. Therefore a lot of us think he knows something, it could be a few things.
1, he knows it wasn't commissioned by El, el literally stated that she has NO idea what will was painting in the first ep on the letter Mike was reading so for will to say she commissioned probably confused him
2, the same thing I wrote^ but he also knows there's a romantic meaning behind it. A lot of people say in the "Mike speech" scene where will encourages him to say I love you to El which throws him off from what will told him in the van. If that makes sense. Mike gives him this sad look, can't really describe the emotional but it could be many things.
Either way, Mike either knows, has a HUNCH, or he's just oblivious(doubt it)
Because that smile when will finishes his speech, Mike gives him a smile that almost looks idk forced? I don't know the word but you can tell that Mike may be feeling a bit confused and conflicted because his smile immediately drops when he looks away. It just feels iffy to me.
And then Mike looking at will, noticing him crying, immediately looking away. I do want to know why he didn't say anything but he probably wanted to give will space. Mike knows that will doesn't like that kind of treatment, hence s2.
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writingwithfolklore · 4 months ago
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How to Translate Feedback
              Beta readers are awesome because they see the work strictly from a reader’s perspective. However, this also means that their notes sometimes require a little interpreting to understand how it impacts the craft—translating, one could say.
Every interpretation of a piece is valuable, and often what your readers assume about things, what questions they have, and what they guess comes next is very telling for the messages your piece is delivering and how effective your lines are working together. Let’s get into some common comments you might receive:
“I was confused about this line…”
              Even if the line is explained in the next paragraph, or even the next sentence, don’t disregard this feedback. A confusing line is going to stop up readers, interrupting their mental image of the scene and sometimes concentration on the story. Confusion around a line tends to mean there isn’t enough context to make it feel seamless, or like it fits where it is. You shouldn’t have to be playing catch up with your descriptions.
              Take for example a story I wrote when I was in fourth grade (yes, literally):
Tracy took off her coat as she entered her cabin. She crept across the floor very silently. If she was too loud, she’d wake the howler monkeys and never be able to get to sleep!
              Notice how there’s no context provided for why she’s trying to be quiet, so you kind of get caught up on that line. I would fix it like this:
              Tracy took off her coat as she entered her cabin, eyeing the sleeping monkeys out of her window cautiously. She crept across the floor… etc.
              Now we have context, it reads a lot more seamlessly.
(If they guess something is coming that isn’t)
              This one hurts because I hate feeling like I’m letting down my readers, and an excited “ooh is this foreshadowing??” for something that definitely isn’t coming back up again feels like exactly that. Usually, when a reader guesses at a plot point or character detail that isn’t true or isn’t going to come back up again, it means you drew too much attention to it, making it seem more important than it is.
              I tend to take out the description of the thing, or adjust it so it points less heavily towards one thing and points more towards another. While yes, readers can make incorrect guesses all the time, it’s important to pay attention to where their expectations are being raised—both in the correct places and incorrect ones. Too many disappointments, and your story may leave a sour aftertaste.
“This feels out of character/I don’t understand the motivation”
              When writers get this note, they tend to want to add a paragraph explaining from the character’s POV why they’re doing what they’re doing. Unfortunately, all the explanation in the world isn’t going to fix something that feels out of character or out of the norm. This might mean that you’re trying to force a scene or plot point that doesn’t fit, or that the circumstances aren’t extreme enough to justify your character acting out of sorts.
              Try ramping up the stakes or intensity if a character has to make a tough decision that might seem unlike them—usually a time limit or ticking clock helps here. If you’re only using internal motivation, try adding an external force pushing them towards action (or vice versa).
              If all else fails, consider how you can progress the plot in a different way that’s more in-character.
Shoot me some more common notes you get and maybe we'll do a part 2 :-)
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cobragardens · 1 year ago
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Holy Kittens, Y'all: My Favorite Good Omens Moment Has Gotten EVEN MORE ROMANTIC
Okay so I wrote this post about my favorite moment in Good Omens, and the stuff people are pointing out in the reblogs and comments is blowing my freaking mind, and I HAVE to show you how beautifully this all fits together, like I am flailing at my desk about this.
@vidavalor points out this gif from @soft-ange-aziraphale [Source]:
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Here it is in sequence (gifs 1-4 from Fuck Yeah Good Omens):
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I can't stop laughing over Aziraphale's smile, which shows, as @quoththemaiden says, that he's "utterly delighted with himself" and knows perfectly well that he's minxing Crowley; and this tiny extension of the moment convinces me even more that Crowley is desperately fighting a smile himself here.
Actually there's a lot in @quoththemaiden's comment that's insightful and well-put:
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Totes agree with all of this.
And then. AND THEN!
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I knew Crowley was trying to communicate something with this Shakespeare line, but I didn't know what until @paperbunny and @musingsofmaisie put it out there: Crowley is complimenting Aziraphale here, telling him he's enjoying being in Aziraphale's company, telling him his humor worked.
Remember how I keep banging on about how much equivocation Crowley does? This is more equivocation. In 1601, Richard Burbage was 34 years old, so age hasn't had the chance to wither his infinite variety yet. The stupidity of demons and the ignorance of angels regarding the human aging process prevent surveillance from noticing the poor applicability of this line to Burbage, but since the first half of the line fits Aziraphale (who does not age at all) more than Burbage (who is merely not yet old) it stands a chance of indicating to Aziraphale that Crowley is speaking about him. And the underlying true meaning of this equivocal statement would be A DIRECT RESPONSE TO MY FAVORITE MOMENT: Even though I have known you so long, you still surprise and delight me.
(Crowley's Antony & Cleopatra line also accomplishes something else important: it gets William Shakespeare to go away so they can speak privately, because Shakespeare doesn't want them to see him writing it down.)
A Dip Into Speculation
I don't think the evidence for it is binding enough to say for sure, because the evidence is really just that it fits together so nicely and lines up so well with A&C's coded romantic messages in 1793; the (pretty overt, actually, I mean damn) romance in 1827; the size and nature of the fight in 1867; the yeah, really overt romance in 1941; and in 1967; and yes okay now that I'm thinking about it the whole series, but I have this View about how the rest of the 1601 scene goes.
And in fact there is Word of Gods that could be interpreted as evidence against this little pet headcanon I have, though it doesn't necessarily have to be:
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Here's my assertion: Aziraphale volunteers to go to Edinburgh for Crowley. Crowley cheats the coin toss to accept Aziraphale's offer and to keep up appearances as a demon. Rather than making a deal with (or asking a favor of) an angel, he's 'cheating' him (without the angel's knowledge, but with his consent), which "moves the dials" of evil a bit and would also make Aziraphale appear less at fault if this instance of the Arrangement is ever discovered by Heaven.
This can coexist with Gaiman's statement, above, that it doesn't even occur to Aziraphale that Crowley cheats the toss. THEE ongoing leitmotif of Aziraphale's view of Crowley is that he thinks of Crowley as much more genuinely evil and much less in need of ways to create cover as evil than Crowley actually is.
(Which is interesting, given that he also clearly thinks that Crowley is not as evil as he pretends to be, that he is and wants to do good, and that he deserves to be an angel again. [There is a whoooole nother essay slowly curdling in the churn in my head about how Aziraphale is obliged to practice doublethink and how that stunts his personal development because that's what happens when people aren't free.])
Here's what I mean when I say Aziraphale volunteers.
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Does Aziraphale ask in this tone because he is actually feeling suspicious and curt, or because he has to sound suspicious and curt? He could be perfectly willing to do Crowley a favor and would still need to sound the way he does. It's difficult for me to believe this guy--
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--or this guy--
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--are really all that bothered by the idea that Crowley might want something from him.
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Crowley's response sounds like a(n unconvincing) protest of innocence. Maybe it is. But he doesn't disagree with the premise on which Aziraphale based his question, which means Aziraphale now has confirmation: Crowley called the meeting because he wants to ask Aziraphale to do him a favor.
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Close your eyes and listen to Sheen's delivery of this line. The way he says it is so soft it's got no judgy angelic sting to it at all. Is this really a prissy answer to Crowley's semi-rhetorical question? Or is Aziraphale using the cover of a prissy answer to ask Crowley, Is what you want related to the no-good you're up to, i.e., demon work?
Either way, Crowley answers:
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Is Crowley making a demonic jibe at Aziraphale in return to "You're up to no good," or is he telling Aziraphale, Yes, what I want from you is related to my work, and to your work, esp. what you've got on right now?
Aziraphale volunteers some information about his schedule and what it is he's got on right now.
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--he says, and the velvety way Crowley says "Ohhh," tells us--and could tell Aziraphale--that Crowley already knows this. In this coded communication I'm suggesting, Crowley's tone on "Oh" confirms to Aziraphale that the thing he wants help with does indeed have to do with Aziraphale's trip to Edinburgh.
So Aziraphale gives Crowley his travel details: Yeah, I have a couple of blessings and a minor miracle to perform. It's going to suck; I have to ride a horse.
Crowley's like, yeah, riding horses does suck. You have my sympathies. (Phrasing it as an insult to God: "Major design flaw if you ask me.") And then he says, I have to go to Edinburgh too this week. Tempt a clan leader into stealing some cattle.
And here's where I think Aziraphale volunteers to do Crowley's Edinburgh job for him:
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If, as I propose, Aziraphale understands already at this point that Crowley is asking him to take Crowley's Edinburgh temptation, then this response tells Crowley he's willing to do so.
And then they have a little bit of kayfabe theater and a little bit of miscommunication between themselves. Crowley suggests Aziraphale take Crowley's Edinburgh job. Aziraphale protests "You cannot actually be suggesting what I infer you're implying," even though, as Crowley immediately points, out, they've now done this dozens of times.
Now, obviously Aziraphale is pretending innocence here with "You cannot actually be suggesting," etc. But he's not pretending innocence to Crowley. He can't be: Crowley knows about the dozens of other times just like Aziraphale does. So the protest of innocence is for surveillance; it's the spirit, not the letter, of the protest itself that's genuine: I am reluctant about this.
And Crowley misses it.
He reads the surface layer of the equivocation, the Heavenly pearl-clutching; and the surface layer is where he argues. "We've done it before," he points out. "Dozens of times now. The Arrangement--"
But Aziraphale, visibly frightened and looking around, cuts him off. "Don't say that." Getting caught in an Arrangement would be much, much worse than getting caught in a one-off deal.
Why is this suddenly a problem? says Crowley. You know we've been getting away with this; you know they don't check up.
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It's not pearl-clutching at all; Aziraphale is worried for Crowley's safety.
When Crowley says--
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--is his tone half wheedling and half impatient because that's how he feels, or because it must sound like that? Is it soft only out of courtesy to the other people in the Globe?
There's no difference to the outcome of this scene or the story as a whole whether this romantic interpretation of the Edinburgh bickering is correct, because we've already got a solid base of evidence that the characters have romantic feelings for each other and show each other affection and care in this scene. In my opinion this interpretation fits the tone of the rest of the Globe scene better than only the face-value interpretation. What Gaiman and Mackinnon say about Crowley cheating the coin toss and Aziraphale not being aware of it can still easily apply.
While these three statements together aren't enough evidence to convict, so to speak, if my initial argument about the interpretation of "Buck up!" and Crowley's reaction is correct--and the cool stuff other people have found and pointed out suggests it is AND explains Crowley's Antony & Cleopatra line--this reading of the Edinburgh bickering is, if not ironclad, at least valid.
And holy shit, people, that makes this scene romantic af from beginning to end. I could not have asked for a better little gift from my fellow humans. 🤯I have such a better understanding of the entire 1601 scene because people from anywhere with an Internet connection sat down and spent their time sharing their ideas, and it just makes the lit-nerd lobe of my brain so happy. I love you all, you romantics and nerds and perverts.
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crazylittlejester · 3 months ago
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I'd absolutely love to hear what you have to say about Time 🙃 /gen
And, I hope you are feeling well. I think you said you were dizzy? I hope that gets better 🫶
I’m feeling much better, thank you!! I hope you’re going good as well :)
Sorry this took me a whole day to type out, but I finished!! I got it!!
I have a lot more thoughts, I had to cut a lot for the sake of making it readable and not obnoxiously long so I really hope I still get my points across well 😭 , but here we go:
An Abridged Version of My Thoughts on Time (I’m Insane I’m Sorry):
Okay so I’m starting off this whole thing by saying that 100% of this is my opinion and the research I did was done specifically to back my stance (which does not make it canonical fact. You can do research to back any point. You can do research to argue against my point, even). This doesn’t make my perspective or interpretation of a character the correct one by any means, and this definitely leans towards how I personally characterize and view him and is biased in that way because I’m the one who wrote it. All of you are entitled to your own opinions, you don’t have to agree with or listen to a single thing I say. In fact if you do disagree I encourage you to reblog and share your OWN thoughts so I can read YOUR perspective! I like seeing opinions people have and I love to see how differently all of us can view the same character /gen. I just that ask if you do do this, that you be kind and respectful to myself and others :)
This entire yap, analysis, whatever you wanna call it, is my perspective on Time and my thoughts behind why I believe he acts the way he does. At some point in all this I’m specifically going to focus on how he’s acting at the end of the Dawn arc and in the more recent updates. However in order to talk about that I wanna go to the beginning and talk about his past, the environment he grew up in, his relationships with others, and how I believe that has shaped the way he functions as an adult. My apologies now for being insane, unfortunately I have no life and also a lot of thoughts, and full access to a college library full of case studies- My professors would be so proud… Hope y’all enjoy lmao
Loneliness and Isolation:
One of the first things I noticed when I started playing OOT was this divide between Link and the Kokiri. Despite the fact that none of them know he’s actually a hylian, the bullying and teasing and the way they treat him for not having a fairy feels as though they’re making him to be different from them. Even Saria and the Great Deku Tree speak to/about him in ways that make it seem that, even though they care about him, they do see him as different from the others. (Granted, Saria’s treatment of Link is likely fully an unintentional thing. She doesn’t mean to be cruel when she makes her comment about how after Link got his fairy he could be a real Kokiri because she is a child and probably didn’t think about how that would come off to a kid who’s been arguably treated as less than for not having a fairy this entire time. She’s probably aware of how upset he’s been, but they’re children and I doubt she realized her attempt at comfort potentially made Time feel worse. The Great Deku Tree, on the other hand, referring to him as ‘the boy without a fairy’ immediately makes it clear to us as the player that Link is different from the Kokiri. He knows Link is hylian, which is something the player, Link, and the Kokiri do not know at this point)
Not having a fairy like the others certainly separates Time from the Kokiri because having a fairy companion appears to be a huge deal, something everyone has in common except for him. While it isn’t really on the same scale, I imagine this feeling of not having something your friends do could be, to an extent, comparable to how it would feel if all your peers had cell phones or social media access and you did not. (BAD EXAMPLE I KNOW BUT HEAR ME OUT.) The ability to consume media at such a fast pace and share jokes and trends with peers has become something to bond over, and being outside of that ‘world’ would leave someone to feel like they’re missing out on something they couldn’t possibly understand unless they get it for themselves. When your friends all have phones and you don’t, you have to sit there awkwardly when they all pull them out to text people or look things up, even if you’re doing something that doesn’t even require being on your phone, like going to the mall or hanging out. Sure they might show you a meme or two, but you can’t show them your memes, or share things and exist in the online world the way they do. Time could see and interact with the others’ fairies but he didn’t have that for himself, and I imagine it was probably hard for him to bond with the Kokiri because of it. Even if they were just playing a game or messing around and he wasn’t even being teased for not having a fairy of his own, those other fairies were right there as a constant reminder that Time didn’t have his own companion because he was, for a reason he couldn’t understand, different
Having played Skyward Sword and the beginning of Twilight Princess and seeing how both of those Links are treated by the people around them in comparison to how the Kokiri interact with Time, it feels safe to say there’s a good possibility he felt out of place and a little isolated by his own community. The way he was seemingly blamed for the death of the Great Deku Tree after finding out the life altering information that he is different probably did nothing but cause further divide between himself and the Kokiri in his mind, if not completely sever the connection he had between himself and that community
Do I think the Kokiri completely excluded him and intentionally tried to isolate him? No, I do not. However it’s clear that Saria was his best friend and the others weren’t always the nicest to him. It’s not too far a stretch to say he probably felt very lonely at times in his childhood, more so than the average kid
The theme of isolation and loneliness continues when the timeline shenanigans happen at the end of OOT and Time is now the only one who knows what happened to him. He has absolutely nothing to show for what he physically just went through and he can tell people about it all he wants but they’ll never understand because for them it simply never happened. Once again Time is isolated from this community he finds himself a part of because he’s different from them in a way they cannot relate to, driving a wedge between him and the rest of society. And Malon and Zelda are not people who would intentionally drive him further from feeling like he can belong, but they will forever be different from him in a way none of them now have the power to control. He formed relationships with them and with other people that were then erased. He knows a version of them that doesn’t exist anymore (in the timeline he continued to live in), and he’s alone in that. There IS no fix to that problem
Attachment Styles and Development
Relationships are crucial to child development and the connections formed when we’re young impact the way we create and view our relationships in adulthood. Peer relationships are just as important as parental ones because they play a different role. While your friends are the ones who have more of an impact on things like your music tastes, interests, and sense of identity/role within your group of peers, it’s your parents/caregivers who teach you right from wrong (often religion plays a part in that as well though not always), are responsible for feeding you and helping you learn new skills as a young child. Having a secure attachment and good relationship to caregivers when you’re young really impacts how you seek comfort as an adult and how you form relationships with others. Children whose parents or caregivers responded to their distress in unpredictable ways (by offering comfort sometimes and being unable to other at times, for an example) are less likely to seek out those figures for comfort or be soothed by them when the comfort is offered. I have no idea exactly how old Time was when he was placed with the Kokiri or what his mother was like, but I feel it’s fair to say the Great Deku Tree was probably the closest thing to a parental figure/caregiver (while he was living with the Kokiri) that he has any memory of. And I also feel it’s fair to say that as the stationary tree guardian of a bunch of immortal children, it was pretty impossible for him to support all of those kids’ emotional needs
Making this assumption based solely on Navi’s role in the story and what she does for us as players of the game: I feel like the fairy companions might almost be more of a parental/caregiver like figure to the Kokiri children than the Great Deku Tree is, simply because they’re able to be around them more. Navi helps Time (and the player) find things, gives clues, and helps the player with the game controls, so inside the actual game I think it’d be fair to say she (and other fairies) have more of a hands on role in guiding these children than the Great Deku Tree. And again, Time didn’t have that, not until his adventure started. He didn’t have a fairy companion while his friends and peers did, he was on his own. He wasn’t getting that potential comfort from a reliable caregiver the others were, which I believe can be partly responsible for how determined he is to solve his own issues. (Of course personality also has a play in things like this, and as we all know the hero’s spirit is incredibly fucking stubborn.) He was taught through the failures of the ‘adult’ figures in his life that the only one who’d be there to really comfort him was him
Identity and Relationships
Apart from feeling alone and not having the same types of companionship his peers did, I firmly believe Time seriously struggled with identity issues as well. Being told he wasn’t enough for the Master Sword yet, just to then be suddenly physically several years older and expected to operate as an adult despite having less than a decade of life experience, back to being shoved into the body of a child after living through horrors and accumulating scars that are now just gone doesn’t real make for the most confident, mentally stable of people. The message he most likely took from that was “You’re not enough as you are.”
He was a hero who saved a kingdom, then forgotten when everything was set back, and then abandoned by the one person (fairy) who went through it all with him after it was all done. If he’d felt alone or isolated in his youth before all that happened, I can’t imagine how overwhelming all those emotions were after all that. He needed Navi because she’s the only one who can really validate what he went through, she was the only one who could have understood him. She was a guardian and a friend and he couldn’t figure out why she left him, which must’ve just been absolutely devastating.
He was still just a kid, with no one to talk to about these issues. (Though he sort of works through some of them on his own through helping others in Majora’s Mask. Granted that left him with new issues even if it may have helped him work through a few old ones. I think there are quite a lot of similarities between Link and Skull Kid, but that’s a yap for another day.) I can imagine that both his identity and what he was supposed to do with himself were things he questioned constantly, and building relationships with people was probably very difficult for him when he hadn’t fully worked out himself. And he didn’t really have someone to comfort him or help him figure all that out
At a certain point, I think the feeling of being alone became almost a comfort to him. It was the most reliable thing he had, he could handle things on his own and that was something he knew for fact. He learned how to deal with his emotions and issues (maybe not in the healthiest of ways in his youth), and instead of being so suffocating, the isolation became something he could CONTROL. With all the instability throughout his childhood, the fact that he could reliably be on his own without dealing with the unpredictability of others was probably a relief. He didn’t have to worry about people leaving or getting hurt because he couldn’t protect them, but that didn’t really replace the feeling of loneliness so much as sloppily cover it up
Malon and the ranch are things that have been able to give him something he hadn’t had in years, which was stability and companionship. He’s been alone and isolated or dealing with loss his entire life, but she’s able to provide him with something steady, something safe to come back to. That’s been absolutely huge for him in regards to the healing process, because not only is it said in LU that she believes him completely, she’s literally his biggest supporter. And having a sturdy location and person to come back to at the end of whatever little trips he probably continued to go off to gave him comfort while still allowing him to keep that feeling of control over himself and his life. Sure not everything is perfect all the time and relationships are things that you have to put time, effort, and patience into, but he’s allowed to have his support and his much needed feeling of control over his life at the same time while living in that scenario. She loves him, she loves him very much and I have no doubt they worked together to get him to the place of comfort he’s at now. The panels from any of the ‘Malon’ posts are really the most relaxed we’ve seen Time for long stretches of time, it’s clear he’s been able to make a safe space for himself there
And now here’s the part where I actually talk about the recent comic update(s)!!!!!!!! (Yippee!!!)
Time is a very quiet, stoic character in LU especially when compared to the others, which are qualities that pull a lot from the hero’s shade. He’s the unofficial official leader, and he’s at a point in his life where he’s been able to work on himself and form healthy relationships (not perfect ones, but healthy ones built on communication which is clearly a struggle for him still but I cannot afford to get into that this post because that’s way too much. If y’all want a yap about that, ask me later). He puts a lot of stress and pressure onto himself, because he feels as though he’s responsible for these younger heroes, even though some of them have far more experience than he does
But in addition to this, he’s absolutely terrified of caring about people, and he’s not used to working with other people in this area of his life. Because no one sticks around, and if they do, what’s stopping the timeline from resetting somehow and taking their memory of him away? He no longer has the stability and comfort that comes with being alone because he’s forced to work with other people, other heroes who are equal to him in that regard, and people are unpredictable. And with unpredictability comes loss of control
Anger is an easier emotion for a child to process, and express themself through. This is why depression in children often manifests itself as anger. Children dealing with depression have a harder time managing and controlling their anger and can come off as snappier, inattentive, and reckless (obviously this is not the same case for every single child). While he certainly isn’t a child anymore in LU, I think Time is still someone who when overwhelmed is quick to anger, but this does not mean that he’s not kind. He’s incredibly kind and caring, and you can tell he loves everyone around him so deeply even though he’s probably a bit angry at himself for letting them all worm their way into his heart because he’s going to have to let them go some day. But still, some of that snappiness comes through even in his adult years and he’s a lot harsher with the others than I believe he intends to be. He’s not genuinely angry at them, he’s mad at the situation they’re in right now because he’s no longer responsible for just himself. He doesn’t have control anymore, and he’s probably back to feeling like a scared child who might be about to lose everyone again and he hates that
Twilight got hurt and he blames himself for it. He’s in an unfamiliar situation with people he cares a lot about who are all just as reckless and determined as he is, and he has absolutely no idea what to do with himself because in his mind if he lets something happen to one of these boys, that’s on him and he should’ve done better
Ough (A Continuation of ‘Isolation’)
In a way Time exists on a different level of the timeline. He retained memories of things that no longer exist, and he’s witnessed the rewritting of time over and over again. The timeline he was born in may no longer be the one he exists in, though it certainly branched from that original one. He has knowledge and memories of relationships that are real to only him in the timeline where he lives, and I would argue that because of this, he lives outside of society
Now this genuinely has nothing to do with anything I just wanna yap about something because The Voices, and it’s gonna be a fucking reach but if you’ve stayed this long you must find something appealing about my incoherent rambling so allow me to draw a genuinely insane comparison between Time and his existence in society and ‘The Lady of Shallot’, written in 1832 by a poet by the name of Alfred Tennyson. If you have no idea what this is, it’s incredibly short and easy to find with a quick google search, and I encourage you to read it. But for those of you who didn’t sign up for a poetry assignment today I’ll summarize
The Lady of Shallot is cursed to stay in a tower away from the rest of society and she’s unable to look upon Camelot with her own eyes, because something bad will happen if she does though she has no idea what. Day after day she creates these tapestries of what she sees of the society behind her through a mirror. She’s unable to look at it with her own eyes so what she creates is unable to perfectly reflect what it is the world has to offer. And she’s absolutely sick of it, she sees happy people wandering down below, knights riding through, she sees through her mirror what life is like for those within society and she wants to join them. She sees a beautiful man one day (Lancelot) and decides the curse is worth it, just for a chance to leave her tower, so she turns around and sees Camelot with her own eyes. She leaves her tower and goes to join society but by the time she gets there she’s dead
Now one of the meanings hidden within this is how artists are almost outside of society and that is how they are able to so accurately depict it, and that joining society and being ‘normal’ would make them unable to keep their unique perspective that isolation provides. But I’m going to be crazy here and draw parallels to a video game character because I CAN
Time exists outside of society and is isolated from every community he tries to be a part of because the differences between him and the Kokiri/normal hylian are so significant he feels like he doesn’t belong there. Despite having built his sense of identity back up, he still, to an extent, feels like an outsider. The things he’s been through separate him from being able to just be a normal guy, and he craves so badly to be part of a community he’s almost convinced himself he CANNOT join. The chain (and Malon, but mainly the other heroes) help him have something to connect to, because while they may not have the exact same experience they understand him more than anyone else ever could. He then tries to join society, something happens, and he dies a warrior full of regrets
Is it a reach? Yeah. But I like the poem and I can’t stop thinking about the parallels (that I’ve probably completely fucking made up at this point) every time I think too long about Time and it makes me claw at the dry wall and scream. I’m so normal…
Anyways, *weak cough* thanks for reading, if you did. It means a lot that you’ve supported my insanity. I hope this is coherent-
Thanks Emmie for reading through this for me 😭, and special shoutout to every single one of you who sent me asks yesterday to remind me to write this I love you all sm actually:
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@trash-aged-like-fine-wine @rebornofstars @blueskybehindtheclouds @captainn-hook @ghosttoasts
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merp-blerp · 6 months ago
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A Gaylor Interpretation of "Champagne Problems" post TTPD
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Overblown Analysis Under the Cut ↓
In my "I Look Through People's Windows" analysis, I mentioned that I wondered if the "As you boarded your train..." line had to do with "Champagne Problems" and its similar opening line, but figuring that out would mean doing a separate evaluation on it. Well, here you go! I promise I'll one day stop thinking about TTPD, okay? Scouts honor. 🤞😜
This one is mostly to quench my own intrigue, I'm aware it's a bit of a stretch.
"You booked the night train for a reason / So you could sit there in this hurt / Bustling crowds or silent sleepers / You're not sure which is worse"
While this might not be the lens Taylor and ✨William Bowery✨ wrote this song in, I wanted to try my hand at seeing this song through the eyes of being about Taylor's fandom(s). Based on my "ILTPW" analysis, gaylors are the ones boarding the train in her mind, sitting in their hurt from the fallout of the failed coming out. Taylor knows that the gaylors don't know what would be worse: if tons of other fans crowding them with "I told you so" type comments, "Bustling crowds", or people not even noticing/hearing the coming out attempts to sneer, "silent sleepers".
"Because I dropped your hand while dancing / Left you out there standing / Crestfallen on the landing / Champagne problems / Your mom's ring in your pocket / My picture in your wallet / Your heart was glass, I dropped it / Champagne problems"
Taylor feels like she abandoned her community by not coming out. She dropped their hand and left them disappointed. Champagne can symbolize celebration and eliteness, often associated with rich individuals, but has also been used to highlight the fakeness of its drinkers. Alexander Pushkin's novel, Eugene Onegin, quotes, "I am no longer up to champagne... (it is) sparkling, flighty, vivacious, wayward - and not to be trusted." Therefore the "Champagne problems" might be the issue of Taylor being a big star getting in the way of her being able to be out and human. Or just fakeness in general.
Rings have taken their spot in sapphic history, specifically signet pinky rings and thumb rings. Taylor has a very close relationship with her fans, them often joking, or even genuinely feeling as if Taylor's like a best friend, sister, or mother to them. "Your mom's ring in your pocket" could be Taylor illustrating gaylors as keeping Taylor's pinky or thumb ring, or her queerness, close in their pocket, as she isn't out and discussion of her possible queerness mostly stays in gaylor circles.
"My picture in your wallet" in this reading could be the money that fans spend on Taylor, whether it's albums, tours, merch, etc. If gaylors believe in Taylor, they might spend money on her, so she's in their wallet.
"You told your family for a reason / You couldn't keep it in / Your sister splashed out on the bottle / Now no one's celebrating / Dom Pérignon, you brought it / No crowd of friends applauded / Your hometown skeptics called it / Champagne problems / You had a speech, you're speechless / Love slipped beyond your reaches / And I couldn't give a reason / Champagne problems"
The "sister splash(ing) out on the bottle" through this lens to me could be fans adjacent to gaylors that aren't quite gaylors, like queer fans. Queer fans who quietly watched and noted Tay's flagging and waited to see if something would happen, only for nothing to transpire, so they moved forward with being fans. This would've included me at the time. "Splash out on the bottle" can mean to pay a lot of money for the bottle or to pop it open. I'm going to go with opening it in this situation. Through the lyrics, it seems like the "you" in this song brought the bottle of Dom Pérignon, and the "sister" opened it. Gaylors spread the word that Taylor could be coming out and casual queer fans opened the bottle to prepare to celebrate.
While gaylor discussion mostly stays in the community, gaylors have definitely attempted to discuss it in other swiftie, or "family", spaces. From our perspective, it's exciting to think about the queerness sprinkled in her songs, and while I admit that I wasn't fully here for it, I imagine the Lover era was particularly exciting. It looked like she was going to come out, flagging all too obvious for the fans to brush it off. You can't keep the excitement in. But a speech never happened and Taylor continued to beard, so in the public's eyes she's strictly straight somehow. She tried and arguably came out through visual means, but never got to say anything if she planned to (which I think she did because of "a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you" from "The Archer"), and socially, if you don't come out through words you aren't really out at all, flagging be damned. Either way, no one celebrated because no one heard. The gaylors might've geared up to celebrate, but no one could celebrate if Taylor remained unseen. Anti-gaylors, or "hometown skeptics" called the gaylor theories fake, or "Champagne problems", since no overt coming out happened. Any happy speech gaylors could say to Taylor congratulating her couldn't happen. The excitement for the love from fellow queers and allies coming Taylor's way through speeches of admiration after coming out slipped away beyond gaylor's reaches. And of course, Taylor couldn't tell gaylors directly why, as that would out her in an unwanted way.
"Your Midas touch on the Chevy door / November flush and your flannel cure"
The Midas line could be taken in so many ways. To focus on the Chevy for a moment, car imagery in Taylor's music often seems to be a mode of hiding, escaping/running away to hide, and by extension misbehaving or sinning. Take "Just a boy in a Chevy truck / That had a tendency of gettin' stuck / On backroads at night" illustrating Taylor and her lover driving out and pretending to get "stuck" on backroads so they can enjoy each other alone without naysayers. So if gaylors are the "you/your" of the song, them having a "Midas touch", aka a golden touch, could mean that gaylors acknowledged, or touched, Taylor's closet, and therefore made it golden, like daylight. A Midas touch turns things gold, so her closet/Chevy door wasn't golden like daylight before the "your" made it so. Their acknowledgment of her queerness made her feel seen, or at least less in the "20-year dark night" from "Daylight".
"November flush" to me is a reference to the "Grey November" from "Evermore". A person can flush from strong emotions, as well a sickness. "You're Losing Me" has many illusions of Taylor getting sick and dying from being unseen, her face becoming grey/colorless as she dies. But when you flush, color returns to your face. If Taylor was "down since July", or beginning to die from being unheard, she could be saying that she could be saved by a cure. The cure she seems to get is a "flannel cure". I've heard really interesting interpretations about this part of the line referencing a Victorian superstition about flannel having healing properties. This possibly means that several cures for her pain were tried, but nothing could be as helpful as being seen, the "flannel cure" being fake. However I can't find a source for this Victorian flannel fact that isn't someone talking about this song, so I'd take that with a grain of salt. (But I could've just overlooked it, so if someone has a source I'd love to see it.) Alternatively, flannels, in the modern age at least, are often associated with masculinity and men, but also sapphic flagging. Maybe the "flannel cure" was gaylors acknowledging her sapphicness. Or, if you take the cure as being false, it could be the bearding/closeting/men, fake because it didn't cure her queerness, or make her straight. It just made it more overt to those who can see it, as gaylors can often see through stunts with beards. I think it could be interesting to look at this phrase differently too. Was the flannel the cure or was the flannel cured? Is it that closeting was a fake cure or that gaylors had the cure for the pain of closeting by seeing her?
"'This dorm was once a madhouse' / I made a joke, 'Well, it's made for me'"
In TTPD, Taylor makes many references to the music industry being like an asylum or madhouse. In this line, Taylor jokes that the dorm, or industry, was once an asylum, made for someone like her. Maybe it's made for her 'cause a lot of people in the industry will have covert or public mental breakdowns that they don't get proper support for. Or it could be because she felt like music was a profession she was always meant to do since she was a tween. Or because she's queer, and while they're are many queer people in the industry, many have also been closeted by the industry since it began and still are. Maybe the joke says "once", as in past tense, because Taylor believed that once she was out the industry would stop being a madhouse for her, but she never got her proper cure, so going into TTPD, it's still an asylum.
"How evergreen, our group of friends / Don't think we'll say that word again"
There's probably debate on which word will never be said again. For this analysis, I'm going to go with "evergreen". Taylor seemed to have viewed her fans as friends just as they did her. Look at songs like "Long Live". She asked the fans to stand by her forever, like how evergreen trees keep their leaves in all weather, or forever. But after the failed coming out and so many fans denying her visibility, she can't say she and the gaylors's friendship with those types of fans is "evergreen" any longer. "Something counterfeit's dead" (from "loml").
"And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls / That we once walked through / One for the money, two for the show / I never was ready so I watch you go"
Some of Taylor's fans will come up with rather invasive theories about what her lyrics are about. Theories about her cheating, having secret children [Edit: I feel a need to say that by "secret children", I meant secret pregnancies, just to be clearer], having secret abortions, committing vehicular manslaughter, probably etc. In the Lover house her first 10 eras become literal halls (except for Midnights, which is depicted in the sky, and I personally like to say TTPD is the white porch with the lights). The phrase "Deck the halls" means to decorate the halls. She laments that ex "evergreen" "friends" will have the nerve to decorate the eras that she and the people who saw her once walked through with creepy theories.
The phrase "One for the money, two for the show," is cut short/replaced without the numbers three and four. The full phrase has multiple renditions, but it's generally a form of counting before an action is done, often ending with something like "Three to get ready, and four to go." If Taylor doesn't get to finish the countdown, it seems to mean that she didn't get to do her action: come out. She was never fully ready to do the action because obstacles like the master heist kept her from being able to do it the way she wanted. So she fears/watches gaylors board their trains away from her.
"Sometimes you just don't know the answer / 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you"
To me, as of currently, "How Did It End?" from TTPD is also in part about the failed coming out. In that song, Taylor admits that she still doesn't know exactly how the coming out didn't happen. Sure, she knows in a clinical sense, but sometimes you don't know emotionally. I find it noticeable that the someone in this line is on their knees, not knee. Traditionally, when one proposes, they get on only one knee. When a person is on both knees, that usually indicates deep desperation. Maybe the someone's are fans, likely of all kinds, desperately questioning why all the signs led to nowhere instead of a speech declaring her place in the queer community. How did it end?
"'She would've made such a lovely bride / What a shame she's fucked in the head,' they said"
Queer people throughout history and currently in some places are often seen by homophobes as having something wrong with them, whether it's just for taunting purposes or some genuinely believing queerness is a mental disorder. Homophobes often believe queer people are "fucked in the head".
When "they" say that "she", in this interpretation, Taylor, would've made such a lovely bride, they likely don't mean just a bride who gets married to anyone, but specifically a bride who marries a man. Certain types of homophobes won't call brides marrying non-men "lovely", sometimes not seeing them as legitimate brides at all. Heteronormative TS fans will often picture Taylor as being a "lovely bride" in the future, aka a straight bride because to them Taylor fits that hetero-girl image. If she were straight her hetero wedding would be seen as picture-perfect and idyllic. Too bad she might not be able to be that bride for them because she could be queer. While, again, I wasn't fully there during Lover, it's not hard to imagine homophobes saying things like this at the mere prospect of her being queer.
"But you'll find the real thing instead / She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred / And hold your hand while dancing / Never leave you standing / Crestfallen on the landing / With champagne problems / Your mom's ring in your pocket / Her picture in your wallet / You won't remember all my / Champagne problems / You won't remember all my / Champagne problems"
Taylor reminds queer fans that they can find "the real thing", or proudly out queer people, instead of her, someone who can't seem to leave the closet. That person won't fail them. Taylor's, or "your mom's", signet/thumb ring might stay in gaylors' pockets, as in they could still keep her potential queerness in the knowledge, but a new, out person should be the ones to have their money and time in Tay's eyes. One common critique towards gaylors is that we need to enjoy "actual" queer figures, these critique-ers not seeming to realize that many of us already do love many out queer figures, but that not meaning we can't acknowledge a potentially closeted one. Even still, Taylor seems to fear that her queer fans deserve better. "You should find another guiding light" (from "Dear Reader").
But as someone in the fandom, it's safe to say that gaylors won't be going away, even if most who were there from the beginning are gone now, new ones discover what this community truly is every day.
Thank you for reading!
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nhlclover · 2 years ago
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𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐀 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 | 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐍𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐒
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summary: your relationship hits a rocky patch and a fight tests your love.
warnings: angst, cursing, mentions of alcohol
note: based on 'just give me a reason' by p!nk. wrote this between the hours of 1 and 5 am, peak night owl behaviour. also I left the ending up for interpretation so you can imagine your own :)
word count: 2.0k
Right from the moment you met, Quinn had your heart.
With your mothers having been teammates once upon a time they decided to reunite. You were invited to the Hughes’s home and introduced to Ellen’s sons; Quinn, Jack, and Luke. You were drawn to the eldest Hughes boy immediately. Quinn was different than his brothers. While Jack and Luke were quite rambunctious, Quinn was reserved. His darker features attracted you quickly.
You guys connected that day, exchanging numbers. Quinn asked you on a date not a while later and the two of you began dating not long after that. The pair of you worked well together, your odds and ends balancing together.
You let yourself be vulnerable with Quinn. He saw the parts of you that weren’t all that pretty, the parts of you that you’d always desperately wished could be fixed. But with every touch, he fixed them.
It was your mom that warned you about being in a relationship with someone with such a profession, something she knew from first-hand experience. A profession that requires late nights, weeks out of town, and endless dedication. You assured her, and in turn, yourself, that you knew what you were getting into. You knew what dating Quinn meant, and you were willing to sacrifice a lot for him.
You had yourself convinced that it was fine. That you were okay with the “system” you and Quinn had set up.
When it began to change between the two of you, neither of you was sure of it. It was gradual and took a minute for both of you to see, but when you did it was painstakingly obvious. Empty sheets now lay between you, cold. Quinn’s loving words were now few and far between. Deep and meaningful conversations were replaced by the painfully dull small talk you’d had a million times.
Quinn’s practices began to run late as he worked on perfecting his game, followed by time at the gym spent becoming more agile and lean. Plans for date nights fizzled out, and boy's nights became more of a priority for him.
It was now painfully obvious what had happened. Somewhere along the way, hockey had become his main priority. It sits far above you. Somewhere along the way, hockey became less of his passion and more of a soul-sucking, energy-consuming task that leaves the stressed and unhappy version of Quinn behind for you to deal with. Something you can no longer withstand.
It was starting to take effect on you now and your friends noticed. It didn’t take much convincing for you to send your boyfriend a quick text while he was at a game letting him know you’d gone out for the night. You left no indication of when you’d be home because truly you didn’t know, nor did you have a plan.
Out at a downtown Vancouver bar, one you knew Quinn and his teammates would never step foot in following a game, you spilled all your repressed emotions out to your friends. You told them every detail. You weren’t sure whether you wanted advice or not but you got some anyways.
“Listen, none of these boys know you’re taken and I’m sure any one of them would be happy to take you to the men's bathroom and give you what you’ve been needing.” Your friend Alicia says.
“Absolutely not, do not cheat on him.” Your other friend Georgia says. “I think you guys just need to talk it out. I don’t think this is the end of you guys. Y’know… you’re not broken just bent.”
You contemplate Georgia’s words the rest of the night, your first drink coincidentally becoming your last. You spend the rest of the night listening to your friends' woes, babysitting them as they got drunker and drunker.
It was well past three when you sent them on their way and headed back to yours and Quinn’s.
You shoved your key in the lock, attempting to unlock an already open lock. He had left it unlocked, not knowing when you would come home. Quinn, trying to stay awake until he knew you were home safe, had only just drifted off to sleep on the couch. He jolted awake at the sound of your keys jingling around.
Eventually, you discover that the lock was already open, cursing when you enter the home. Quinn watches you take off your heeled boots, cursing once more when you roll your ankle after stumbling out of your shoes.
Quinn glances at the clock on the wall which reads quarter to four in the morning. He rubs his eyes, gets up from the couch and comes to the hall. You stay oblivious to your boyfriend, tossing your keys in the dish, and shrugging off your leather jacket onto the floor. You suddenly spot Quinn in your dark living room, leaning against the back of a lounge chair.
“Christ, Quinn. You scared me.” You say, setting your purse down on the table in the front hall.
“Where the hell were you?” He asks, his tired voice scratching your ears. You can sense the anger in his voice, but you’re slightly confused as to why.
“I was at the bar… with the girls… you knew that, Quinn.” You say, your voice coming out slightly condescending.
“Yeah, but the bars close at 3 in Vancouver.” He says, pointing to the clock. “It’s almost 4 in the goddamn morning, y/n.”
“We went out after, walked around.” You tell him. That was true. You and your friends, after getting kicked out of the bar at closing time, went walking in downtown Vancouver, before finding a park and sitting down in the play structure to vent about your problems.
Quinn groans, rubbing his face. His exhaustion is noticeable in his dark circles and drooping eyes.
“Quinn you could’ve checked my location, it’s still on for you.” You tell him.
“That’s not the point, y/n!” He exclaims. “You didn’t call, you didn't text… nothing! I didn’t know if you were safe or not or when you were gonna come home.”
A pang of guilt washes over you. You could only imagine the roles being reversed, not knowing where he was and whether or not you were going to get to sleep next to him that night or not.
“Y/n, I’ve been up all night waiting for you. And I have practice tomorrow.” He says.
The guilt that was just there washes away as he says those words. “God, enough with the fucking hockey.” You groan, walking into the bedroom.
“What the fuck did you just say?” Quinn asks, following you down the hall.
You begin to change out of your ‘going out outfit’, discarding your skirt and flimsy top to the floor. Under any other circumstance, Quinn would love to see you like this. But the anger was clouding over any other emotion he would possibly be feeling right now.
“It’s always about hockey with you Quinn!” You shout slipping into sweat shorts and a t-shirt, purposefully not putting on one of the many ones you stole from Quinn. “That’s your main fucking priority.”
“Well yeah, it’s kind of my job.” He says.
Before you can counter him, he speaks again. “You know what, I’m too fucking tired and you’re too fucking drunk for us to be arguing right now.” He says, heading over to his side of the bed.
“I am not fucking drunk.” You hiss.
“You’ve been out at a bar for the past six hours, y/n.” Quinn reminds you.
“I wasn’t drinking the whole time, dick.” You say. “I need a drink.”
You head out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. You can hear Quinns’ bare feet padding on the wooden floor, hot on your trail. “Are you serious?” He asks. You ignore him, going into your liquor cabinet, and pulling out a bottle of white wine.
“Is this a game to you?” Quinn asks, leaning on the counter.
You pause from unscrewing the cap and look up at your boyfriend. “No Quinn it’s quite the fucking opposite, I’m sick of playing fucking games.” You say.
Quinns’ brows furrow together, not understanding what you mean. Your pent-up rage, the rage that had been forming over the past few months, now was finally bubbling to the surface. It makes it hard for words to form, your little squeaks coming out with no words as you search for the right ones.
“You don’t love me anymore.” You finally manage out.
Quinns’ expression is even more confused now, but now contains a note of hurt. “What are you talking about y/n?” He asks softly. “Of course I still love you.”
Quinn reaches out for your hands but you pull away. “Quinn…when you’re not at practice or a game, you’re out with the boys. I actually cannot remember the last time we had a proper date. And- and when’s the last time you called me dreamgirl?” You ask, mentioning the pet name he would call you. “And I don’t want to break up-”
“Woah, who said anything about breaking up?” Quinn interrupts, stepping towards you.
“Quinn I feel like I’m living with a stranger!” You shout, your hands flying up. “When’s the last time you held me? Hm? When’s the last time you came home after a roadie and instantly scooped me up, carrying me to the bed? I mean, fuck, when was the last time you kissed me? And I mean really kissed me and not the sorry excuses of a peck you give me before you leave me again?”
This renders Quinn speechless as he actually tries to remember the last time you two were intimate. His teeth are grinding together, his chest going up and down with every heavy breath he takes.
“I just can’t do this anymore.” You tell him softly.
“Then tell me what you want.” He responds, matching your tone. “Do you want this to end?”
“No, god no, I already said I don’t—”
“Then what do you want, y/n?” Quinn asks, his anger reappearing. “Because I am trying so fucking hard right now. With everything! With hockey, the entire fate of the fucking franchise is on my shoulders right now. So please, tell me what it is that you want.”
“I want my boyfriend back!” You scream. Tears spill over your waterline. They stain streaks on your cheeks, landing on the hardwood beneath your feet. You step over to Quinn, standing right in front of him. He doesn’t back down like you expect him to. “I want to feel loved by the person that’s supposed to love me.”
You’re jabbing at his chest, and looking into his eyes, you notice tears beginning to form.
“I want to come home and know that you’re happy to see me. That I am a source of joy. I don’t want to have to worry about it being awkward between the two of us.” You continue, now pounding your fists on Quinns’ chest. He takes every hit allowing your anger to spill out. “I just want you to love me, that’s all I want. All I fucking want is to be loved. Please just…”
Your words melt in sobs, Quinn gripping your hands and pulling you into his chest. He holds you tightly, sobs wracking your entire body. You grip onto Quinns’ t-shirt, holding yourself steady as your knees threaten to give way. He keeps you steady, placing soft kisses on the top of your head.
The sun now started to raise on the two of you. The morning sun paints the sky a pale orange, a stark contrast to the energy within the walls of your home.
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undershyperfixate · 7 months ago
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VERY LONG RANT ABOUT AIDEN.
I apologize for any mistakes, my french ass type fast without paying attention to my grammar because I'm not a native speaker ( writer in that case)
Okay guys I need to know, did I interpret Aiden wrong in this scene?
So I've been reading a LOT of sbg fanfics, (because it's my hyperfixation and it's actually incredibly hard for me to detach or distance myself from it ( my fellow autistic people, y'all get what I mean) )
And I've noticed that in a lot of fics, they make Aiden a bit more clueless(?) like in some fics, he's written as if he actually thought Ashlyn was shy, or that he didn't understand that she didn't like social interaction
But from what I've read in the webtoon, he seems to know? Since the start
Like he always knew she was like that, he just pushed her limits because he wanted to know more about her
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After Ashlyn says that, Aiden has this physical response :
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This snarky smile guys, he understood that she just didn't want to talk, but knowing that; he purposefully acted as if he just thought she was shy, to trigger a response from her and be able to continue the convo without her being able to counter argue, after all Ashlyn try to keep being polite in refusing to interact with him.
The "you're just shy right?" Sounds sarcastic, and the voice actor in the dub ver encapsulated this exact tone from what I remember.
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When he laughs because she runs away, he's not frustrated or shocked, he knew she wanted to leave and thought it was funny how fast she was able to escape the situation
In the canva, he acts like this because he's portrayed as a psychopathic character
But in the webtoon, he's definitely not written like this, BUT and I don't see enough people talk about this, he definitely has some psychotic reactions, his rush for adrenaline feels more than fueled by masked depression( not sure if it's 100% depression, he could have had another disorder in the flashback given), it feels manic, it feels psychotic. And by psychotic I don't mean psychopathic, I mean by the def of psychosis "a severe mental condition in which thoughts and emotions are so affected that contact is lost with external reality." He's not completely psychotic and I don't think Red wrote him with the exact disorder, but I do think he has some symptoms. Multiple of his actions, reactions and behavior feels very out of touch, as if reality didn't exist the same way in his mind, OR I'm confusing that with a cluster B disorder, it feels so familiar as someone with one. But it might just be me projecting or analyzing too hard.
But also, he's still very in touch with reality based on his relationship with the main 6, especially when his actions have consequences on the things he cherishes. it definitely reminds me of the entire thread @stillfrownyclownlol made about him being obsessive with Ashlyn and how it was shown through his way of behaving, fixating ect. Anyway I love ranting and I loved the aiden obsessive rant so It made me realize I had a lot to say about him too.
Sorry again for ranting so much 💕 ( and I hope I tagged the right person because it would be embarrassing if I didn't remember who wrote the Aiden obsessive rant and just tagged someone else).
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hunieday · 6 months ago
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Nikaido Yamato - Drama Collection vol.2 Rabbit Chat
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Please note that I am not a professional translator and I'm only doing this to share the side materials to those who cannot access them, if you notice any mistakes please let me know nicely. Enjoy!
Natsume Minami: Good evening, Nikaido-san.
Natsume Minami: I heard that we'll be appearing together on a variety show next time to promote the drama. I look forward to working with you.
Nikaido Yamato: Hey there, Natsume-chan. Thanks for your courtesy.
Nikaido Yamato: So about that show... they said the theme this time is "youth" in relation to the drama, and they sent a bunch of surveys about it
Nikaido Yamato: What did you answer, Natsume-chan...?
Natsume Minami: Oh. Aren't you looking forward to the talk on the show?
Nikaido Yamato: Well yes, but I'm just wondering about the direction you’re gonna be taking
Natsume Minami: Direction?
Nikaido Yamato: Are you gonna answer it lightheartedly or seriously?
Natsume Minami: Well, I think we need to be serious.
Natsume Minami: That's why I even answered the 5th "Please describe your flavor of youth" question seriously.
Natsume Minami: I wrote that it “tasted like milk tea."
Nikaido Yamato: Oh, so that's what "flavor of youth" means, as in what you drank the most back then.
Nikaido Yamato: Well, ŹOOĻ sells the tough-guy image well so you should be fine with that answer.
Natsume Minami: What do you mean back then? I was talking about when I was in school, I was really into drinking black tea.
Nikaido Yamato: Oh, I see!?!?
Natsume Minami: Oh my. What did you think I was talking about?
Nikaido Yamato: No, my bad. It's nothing.
Natsume Minami: 
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Natsume Minami: So, what's your flavor of youth, Nikaido-san?
Nikaido Yamato: Uhhhhhhhhh...
Nikaido Yamato: Maybe melon...
Natsume Minami: How adorable. You like it, don't you?
Nikaido Yamato: Well, yeah...
Natsume Minami: Did you also eat it during those "back then"s you mentioned?
Nikaido Yamato: Forget about that LMAO
Nikaido Yamato: But maybe we’re too young to be calling it "youth", I just liked it as a kid and used to eat it a lot.
Natsume Minami: I’m guessing “youth" refers to teenage years, but it's complicated to define. There were other questions about what we did after school.
Nikaido Yamato: I see. You were busy with work, Natsume-chan.
Natsume Minami: Yes. Unfortunately, I was always so busy with work that I don't remember much of my school days.
Natsume Minami: If anything, I think now feels more like youth for me.
Nikaido Yamato: I get that.
Nikaido Yamato: Hanging out with those guys feels like I’m back in junior high.
Nikaido Yamato: We do things like chugging soda in the middle of summer, having snowball fights in winter, it’s like I’m doing kid-like stuff all year round.
Natsume Minami: Sounds fun. It's like having a little family.
Nikaido Yamato: Maybe LMAO
Nikaido Yamato: ŹOOĻ kinda feel like siblings too
Natsume Minami: Wait a moment. Who's the oldest?
Nikaido Yamato: That’s what you’re concerned about?
Natsume Minami: It's extremely crucial.
Nikaido Yamato: If we ignore the age, the oldest would be Inumaru, then you, then Mido, and the youngest would be Isumi I guess...?
Natsume Minami: I see. Our interpretations aren’t too off, but Mido-san and Isumi-san could probably be reversed.
Nikaido Yamato: Huh? Mido’s the youngest?
Natsume Minami: Since he’s a cute guy.
Nikaido Yamato: Maybe Natsume-chan is the oldest son after all...
Natsume Minami: You're also quite cute, Nikaido-san.
Nikaido Yamato: Where though!?!?!? I'm three years older than you, I’m a grown man who loves beer!
Natsume Minami: During skateboard practice you asked, "Natsume-chan, if I fall, will you help me?" 
Natsume Minami: I thought the way you were trying to tug at my heartstrings by acting like a spoiled child on purpose was cute.
Nikaido Yamato: Don't say it was on purpose LMAO
Natsume Minami: Your character this time resembles you in that aspect quite a bit.
Nikaido Yamato: Oh, he was pretty spoiled wasn’t he?
Nikaido Yamato: He couldn't accept his best friend leaving, so he blamed everyone around him for his problems and vented his bad days to his friends so they would comfort him
Nikaido Yamato: Wait... I kinda feel like I’m having déjà vu...
Natsume Minami: Oh?
Natsume Minami: In reality, all he wanted was to skate with his best friend again, but he couldn't say that one word, so he struggled with despair all the while.
Natsume Minami: He was unable to be fully emotionless, so he couldn’t help but show vulnerability and kindness to those who loved him, which resonates with you deeply.
Nikaido Yamato: Damn. You really went into details 
Natsume Minami: It's fun. I enjoy discussing acting with you.
Nikaido Yamato: I feel the same thing. I feel like we fit each other’s style more every time we’re acting together, Natsume-chan.
Natsume Minami: Are you flirting with me?
Nikaido Yamato: So wanting to work with you more is the same as flirting with you now?
Natsume Minami: You're making me blush.
Nikaido Yamato: Liar LMAO
Natsume Minami: It's true. You said "I just wanted to laugh and skate again. It’s enough for me that I was able to do it today." in the script. Your expression at that moment was just like that.
Nikaido Yamato: That’s the one thing you praised me for on the spot, it's embarrassing to hear it again in text
Natsume Minami:
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Natsume Minami: Being able to discuss our work like this feels like youth to us, doesn't it?
Nikaido Yamato: Maybe you’re right! I'll write that the coffee I'm drinking now is the flavor of youth.
Natsume Minami: Can I match your answer? I was just drinking some too.
Nikaido Yamato: Oh, what a coincidence. Though the flavor of youth turned out quite bitter.
Natsume Minami: It's a special flavor, just like us.
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bookwormbynight · 2 months ago
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hello! as a huge fan of ur works i was inspired to write something of my own but im struggling to get L & light's voices down, in both exposition and dialogue, theyre so tricky! 😭 would you have any tips youre willing to share? 💖💖
Oh my fucking God I'm so flattered I'm going to crumple up into a little ball and die you let me know the second I can read whatever u got going on my dms are open
Here's the biggest single piece of advice I can offer you: can you hear their voice actors read the line you just wrote in your head. That's the one I always end up harkening back to. To get a good sense of this, make sure you know the material. Interpret the way the characters say things and deduce how this adds to the person they are beneath everything explicitly stated or shown. Watch the series a couple times, maybe focusing on episodes that the character you're struggling with features strongly in. That sort of thing. I use this in every fandom I've been in that has voice acting. This applies to exposition as well, although that's always a bit more nebulous and can really come down to personal style.
Character specific... Let's see...
L - Be an asshole. State everything eloquently, but basically as plainly as possible and do not pull any punches. His vocabulary tends to be a bit higher-class than pretty much everyone else in the anime, aside from maybe Watari. Lots of SAT words and synonyms for common words. ("I understand" instead of "got it" like Ryuk would say. But don't overdo it, he still speaks like a human being.) Do not hold back on the snark, he's a fucking dick and even more so when he doesn't have to watch his words for cooperation purposes. If you can fit the occasional pun or two in there, do it, you KNOW the scene where he shows a penchant for wordplay and I'm inclined to believe that wasn't out of left field for him. He's constantly cracking himself up and no one else, and he doesn't care, because any jokes he makes are for him. If Light's involved in the scene, have L fixate on him. In the anime, he's CONSTANTLY poking Light, asking questions, and trying to get him to engage. If I'm translating this into prose, I usually take his POV as the opportunity for the most fucking detailed obsessive descriptions of Light I possibly could want to do. (If L describes literally nothing else about his surroundings and all you can envision is a white room, HE WILL LET YOU KNOW HOW LIGHT'S EYELASHES ARE LOOKING.) He also tends to notice little details about others, to be fair, but far less frequently lol simply because he doesn't give enough of a shit to catalog them.
Light - He's a lot trickier for me, tbh. I'll do my best. He tends to avoid slang, but I don't think he goes out of his way to, and he's not afraid to cuss for emphasis, but otherwise he keeps his mouth clean. Other than that, his word use is very average and unremarkable (he pays a lot of attention to not being noticeably weird, even though he's super hindered in that goal by virtue of the fact that he's a fucking weirdo 😭 he's got most of the superficial stuff down, tho). His emotional thought process (and thereby descriptions) depends on where exactly he is in his Kira journey, sliding scale of arrogant but legit sweetheart to full on Regina George. He is kind of a bitch regardless, but he'll be very very polite if it's good for him to do that. He's a hardcore rationalizer, and sometimes he's right, but sometimes he's dead wrong and deploying it as a defense mechanism, which can affect the prose.
Hope this helps.
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sailortongue · 1 year ago
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As YOU Wish
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pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
wc: 1.1k
summary: on the search for a particular book, you have a brief encounter with the owner of a local bookstore. But perhaps the ex-FBI agent also finds himself in search of something more after meeting you
cw: based on the netflix show You so Spencer is a red flag here
an: my cousin wrote the summary and it sounds so cute i had half a mind to rewrite this to just be an innocent meet cute
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The bell above the door chimed, signaling to Spencer that a customer had arrived—the first of the day, actually. He glanced up from the register to see a young woman about his age enter. Beautiful, he thought. He was taking in every aspect of your appearance as quickly as he could. The way you styled your hair, the color of your eyes, the worn-out pair of Converse that rivaled his own pair. He shook his head once to clear his thoughts, not wanting to embarrass himself before he even had the chance to ask for your name.
He plastered a smile on his face and greeted you with a “good morning”.
“Good morning,” you said, returning the smile.
Spencer watched you roam around the store, seemingly browsing more than looking for anything in particular. He noticed the way you gently ran your fingers over the spines of some of the books before pulling them from the shelves to read their summaries. Definitely cherishes her books. But no matter what book you pulled, it was always returned to its place. Spencer began taking notice of the way your eyes roved the many titles available, a small frown becoming more and more prominent the more you looked. Maybe you are looking for something. He voiced his thoughts aloud and called out, “Can I help you find anything?”
You turned to face the admittedly very handsome employee. The smile you gave him this time was one of embarrassment, feeling unreasonably foolish that he’d noticed you struggling to find what you were looking for. From Spencer’s point of view though, that embarrassment looked an awful lot like shyness, which was easily interpreted as interest. Hopefully as much as he had in you.
“Yes, please. I’m trying to find The Princess Bride,” you answered.
Spencer thought about it for a moment, trying to remember if it was in the fantasy, adventure, or romance section. “It is . . .” he started, dragging out the last syllable as he walked farther into the shelves with you following close behind. “right here,” he finished, gesturing to the book in question.
“Thank you!” you exclaimed excitedly. Just before you were going to reach for it, an idea struck you. You hoped and prayed that he’d understand, otherwise you’d just be embarrassing yourself again. Should that happen, you'd simply never come back to this store and would probably dwell on it for the rest of your life. You decided to take the chance anyway. “Fetch me that book?” you asked him.
Spencer looked at you incredulously. Is she serious? The shelf is barely above her head, she could reach it with no pro— 
He chuckled as he realized what you were referencing. He grinned down at you as he pulled the book from the shelf. “As you wish.”
You giggled as he handed it to you. “So happy you understood that. I think I would have died of shame if you didn’t.”
That got a true laugh out of the handsome man.  “I’ll admit it took me a second to get it, but that was perfect. Have you read it before or just watched the movie?”
“I’ve read it before, but my copy has up and vanished. It’s one of my favorites, so it was imperative that I get another one.”
He nods as if in understanding but his expression is one of confusion. “If it’s one of your favorites, then how did you lose it?”
“I just moved here recently. Went through all of my boxes but still can’t find it, so I’ve chalked it up to it getting lost in the move.”
“Well then, I’m glad to have been of assistance. Is that all you were looking for today?”
“For today, yes, but I’ll definitely be back. I don't think I’ve ever been in a bookstore as cozy as this one.”
Spencer beamed at you, pleased with your praise of the shop he’d worked so hard to establish. “Thank you. I worked very hard to make it that way.”
You looked at him quizzically. “You designed the shop?”
“No, I own it,” he said humorously. “Spencer Reid, owner of Reid’s Reads. It’s nice to meet you,” he introduced himself, even going as far as to offer you his hand, which ordinarily he’d never do. But the thought of initiating any kind of skin-to-skin contact was too thrilling to pass up.
“I’m Y/n, it’s nice to meet you, too,” you said, shaking the hand he’d offered.
“If that’s all you need then I can go ahead and get you checked out?” His eyes were wide and expressive as he looked to you for confirmation.
“Oh. Right.” Heat rose to your cheeks unbidden and you tried your best to keep your emotions in check. But unbeknownst to you, Spencer was a former FBI agent that specialized in such things, not to mention a certified genius. How cute. She’s blushing again. He also took note of the poorly hidden upturn of your lips. Why so shy? Just smile at me, sweetheart. 
He gestured for you to walk ahead of him. “Ladies first.”
He followed behind you to the register, glad for the opportunity to check you out in more ways than one.
You placed the book on the counter, and Spencer resumed his position behind the register. He scanned the book and read out the price to you. Pay with a card. Pay with a card. Pay with a card. he chanted mentally. 
Bingo. You pulled the piece of plastic from your wallet and handed it to him. He read the name as subtly as he could. You’d given him your first name, but a first name wouldn't be enough to find you online. He swiped your card and bagged your book, making sure to let his hand brush against yours as he handed the items to you.
“It was nice meeting you, Y/n. Do come again.”
“Oh, I will. Have a good day!” you said as you were leaving, giving him a small wave. The bell chimed as the door was opened again, and his eyes remained on your figure as he watched you through the large windows at the front of the store until you were out of sight.
With your full name now committed to memory, he planned on finding every trace of you online that he could as soon as he was home from work. He was no Penelope Garcia, but this wasn't something he particularly wanted the FBI involved in.
And so, for the rest of the day, his thoughts were consumed with only one thing: you.
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stripedstarsblueflags · 2 months ago
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Goodbye to a World
reading between the lines of the various goodbyes and dismissals to logan sargeant
Pt. 1: Williams App
full series
i don’t have to say a whole lot about the end of july. the wait is over! our second seat for 2025! carlos’s video which was professional and respectful and obligatory. williams garage’s video, which was appalling and shameful and disgraceful. we remember, we were there. something to recall, though– you guys remember how there was NO logan announcement? like NONE? we scoured social media like we were stalking our ex and there was nothing?
so we though– or at least, so i thought. i didn’t find the official logan departure announcement until weeks later, and i’m going to have to do this off the top of my head since in the past few days it’s been taken down, but i finally fucking found it– it’s in the williams app. hard to find because you have to scroll through five or six videos first, all under the category:
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every time i genuinely think okay, this time it really can’t get worse, we smash through rock bottom like it’s a chassis in australia and hit another. even looking at this old screenshot makes my blood boil. i’m not going to be very coherent so let’s just break this down and phrase all the fuck-ups in a list:
- the only way to find the message is if you have the app. if you PARTICIPATE IN MORE TEAM MARKETING/PROMOTION PLATFORMS. you have to have an account, too. sainz gets eight posts on every single social the team can admin at once, including links, but logan’s post is essentially an easter egg.
- logan’s goodbye post isn’t its own post, it’s included in the sainz category. he doesn’t even get to be an individual figure leaving the team; he’s an event, he’s a side effect, just a domino tipped by another much more important decision. the end of his entire future is a footnote. it’s causation. it’s collateral.
- his cute lil article? it’s titled Thank you, Logan: His Williams Journey. it’s not even titled about logan. it’s williams saying “hey! look at us lovely guardian angels 😌 see how we took this poor little bird under our wings 😊 we’re so philanthropic and generous 😊 read along and find out all the amazing things we did for our little buddy!” it’s promo. it’s propaganda. in the midst of their announcement that he’s being kicked to the curb they take the opportunity to pat themselves on the back for everything they’ve done for him. it’s not enough to bury him alive, they had to dance on his grave too.
- i think there’s a good chance a robot wrote this. either that or they picked the most unoriginal journalist they could find.
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that’s just humiliating. a thirteen year old on wattpad describing someone’s eyes as cerulean orbs makes a more captivating point than this.
- james consonants has one quote in the article. he’s the only one who’s quoted. the rest of it is about logan’s carer in junior series with williams driver academy. the last sentence is:
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this is going to be more relevant in the posts ahead, when jv pops off once again. but can i also say how revolting it is that the message comes from james? when logan gets dropped early the wording gets a little different, but in the initial announcement (if you can even call it that) it’s all about james. what james has to say to logan specifically. williams’ whole thing is that they’re a family team, birds of a feather that stick together, they have each other’s backs and love and friendship and lalala all that bullshit. one would THINK it would be in their best interest to remember who they are. but nope. instead we get james making a point to single himself out so that he alone gets to show off how kind and forgiving and gracious he is to logan and the lack of a team statement gives the implication that the rest of the team didn’t even care. didn’t even notice. of course that isn’t what’s directly communicated but how sloppy and careless can you get with the wording that that message can even be interpreted IN THE FIRST PLACE?
all in all, williams is telling the world:
logan is not even worth effort. it’s not enough that they’re going to abandon his strategy, give him the shittier car, ice him out in his own team, not give his car any upgrades until over halfway through the season… they’re going to make sure we know that he isn’t even worth good writing. the lack of respect and decency and acknowledging someone as a human being with a sentient presence in the world is so severe that even on the fucking internet, where all they literally have to do so much pr and image management, they don’t have the words.
williams is making sure we all know: logan is so worthless he’s not worth taking the time to say that he’s worthless. they talk about underperformance, and this is the way they treat their team members. their fucking drivers. the faces of the brand.
it’s almost comical. it’s unbelievable. if someone was writing this in a story and i was proofreading, i’d tell them to tone it down, because at this point the antagonist is becoming too villainous to be believable; they’re a caricature, a parody.
but no. this is actually happening.
(to be continued)
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exo-raskreia · 2 months ago
Note
ok so i wanted to share my experience with bleach to you bc i just love that anime and it feels nice to do so after i read your blog haha (i like the way you think <3)
also it is kind of funny now that i think about it
i watched bleach for the first time when i was 14, i remember it was the first time i felt like so good with an anime, like when you say "damn this is what i was looking for"
i remember that at that age i didn't care that much about romance, i just liked to see ichigo fighting and i just hyped everytime i saw his inner hollow
EITHER WAY
i always knew/thought at that time that ichigo was in love with rukia, and yes i always knew/thought they were end game LIKE FR it was something obvious
years after that idk how but i got to know that ichigo ended up with inoue and i couldn't fucking believe it, i swear it was a shock at first but then again i didn't even care about it eventually bc i just cared about ichigo
years later i re-watched the anime as an adult and i just felt the same thing, that ichigo was so in love with rukia it fucking hurt, you know? and until that time i never read the manga, so i decided to do it (also i did it to see if ichihime's fans were right about everything they said, that in the manga you could see how ichigo "cared" about inoue)
AND YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I REGRET THAT BECAUSE I JUST FELT AWFUL
IT WAS THE FIRST FUCKING TIME I CARED ABOUT THE ROMANCE IN BLEACH
i mean i saw/felt even more the love ichigo had for rukia, and also rukia for ichigo. it was like they were so fucking in love they thought they had it well hidden but no, you just had to see their fucking eyes when they looked at each other and you would realize
i tried with all my fucking willingness to interpret the parts ichihime'a fans talked about so much, dude i felt uncomfortable, they were just moments were you could see inoue simping about him and ichigo didn't even notice her
I WAS LIKE ??? WHAT IS THIS PPL TALKING ABOUT?
and i really tried to like ichihime bc i love ichigo, he's like my fucking entire adolescence and i just wanted to see him happy
i just can't help but fucking feel he's the most unhappy person, he just loved to be a sould reaper and loved to be around rukia, in the end he didn't get anything of that and i ended up feeling fucking disappointed
so it is funny for me how as a teenager something i thought as an adult was going to change, in the end didn't, it just got confirmed
i just can't understand what was kubo thinking about when he gave us that end for ichigo, like even if he pretended ichihime to be end game, he should have given them the same (or more) development he gave to ichiruki. because there's fucking nothing between ichigo and inoue more than a fucking friendship (i don't even know to say if even that)
i thought about all this when i saw a comment of an ichihime saying "i just hope they confirm that poem was for zangetsu and not for rukia" you know in that post where ichigo's seiyu finally gave us those LOVELY WORDS for rukia
which first doesn't make sense if you want to interpret it that way (at least for me) and second...
DOES IT FUCKING MATTER?
even if it did ichiruki has a lot more, the way they look at each other, the way they support each other, the way they bring the best of each other, the way they trust each other, the way they talk about each other and i can fucking go on
i just wish i hadn't read the manga bc it made me care about something i didn't and i ended up feeling disappointed haha :(
i realized i wrote a lot, you probably won't read this but hey i wanted to get this out of my system
sorry if there's grammatical errors, english is not my first language. i love your blog and your mind <3
Wow, anon, no worries! And thanks! 😊 Even those who don't care for romance see how suspiciously romantic IR comes off as 🤭. (I'm telling u, I think most of the fanbase & their mother thought IR would end up together...)
The manga is definitely more on the nose about IchiRuki. Everything stands out more, is more emphasized. U gotta have a severe lack of reading comprehension to not see the potential between them. People who think the anime pushed IR clearly haven't read the manga; the anime only added slightly to what was already established (and the manga still did it better), such as the ice skating episode that Kub0 expressed satisfaction in 👀. He always seemed to express enjoyment with the portrayal of IR in adaptations 🤷‍♀️.
That's why I can't believe for a second that Kub0 had "always" intended IH. Everything about them screams they don't work together; they had no chemistry, no special moments, no bonding, no poems, no good teamwork, no trust, no special thoughts from Ichigo towards Ori, etc...
IchiRuki will always be the most special bond in Bl3ach. Nothing could top it. And it's not some regular friendship or rivalry bond like in other battle shounens with male characters. It's a special bond between a man & a woman who met in such a supernatural romance sort of way. Boy meets girl. Girl saves him. He saves her. Like, hello?? Heck, some people have made theories that Bl3ach is more YA fantasy or shoujo (like Ichigo being a shoujo protag) than shounen, lol.
(That's why I hate it when antis try to lump IR in with non-canon mlm ships, forcing Rukia to be just "one of the guys"; otherwise, IchiRuki's special bond is unexplainable cuz wdym that Ichigo is this close to a woman that's not even his future wife— 🤪🤷‍♀️).
(On that note, one of the closest ships I've seen in animanga to the IR bond is NaLu from Fairy Tail. Ichigo ending up with Ori is like if Natsu were to end up with Lisanna 💀. Of course, FT is still ongoing so NaLu becoming canon is still on the horizon~)
IH could never. Kub0 can't even bother to give them content. Same with RR. He really could care less.
Even if Kub0 ended up retconning the "speed of the world" poem to make it about Zangetsu, it still wouldn't take away from how special the IR bond was throughout the manga. Ntm, the moment Ichigo regained his powers, he immediately set down his zanpakuto on the ground to stare at Rukia longingly while everyone's watching 🤣. Yeah, he really pined after those powers & not the woman in front of him...
Glad u also think IH didn't have much of a friendship either. They always seemed more acquaintances than friends. Ori was always just there? Butting into Ichigo's business? They never bonded...
Anyway, it's ok, anon, & hope that despite it all, you can still enjoy IR 🙂.
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