#also i need more baking related puns and pet names

[samstree]

Jaskier x Sam the Baker AU

(There’s this lovely piece by @valdomarx and this one by dear @julek, and I just need Jaskier to learn baking from Sam and get flour smeared all over his face, because he DESERVES!)

The setting sun cast through the window, illuminating the flour flying in the air. The rhythmic noise of a dough being kneaded comes from the kitchen, interrupted by the occasional curses.

Sam rounds the corner and leans against the doorframe, watching Jaskier at the nearly lost battle. There’s sweat on his forehead, and the long hair is blocking his view, making the bard scrunch up his nose in displeasure. He’s so concentrated on half-formed bread dough like it’s the world’s most difficult task, not even aware of the baker walking into the room.

How can someone trying—and failing—to make a simple loaf of bread be so adorable?

“Need any help?” Sam says, drawing attention to himself.

Letting out a surprised gasp, Jaskier looks up, tucking away his hair by instinct and thus smearing flour on his cheek. There’s flour all over his face actually, on the tip of his nose, tangled up in his hair, and there’s that smidge hanging on his eyebrow.

“No, sweetie. You’ve been the most wonderful host for the past few days. I promised to return the favor,” Jaskier argues. “I can do this! I can make you a bread!”

“Sure you can,” Sam smiles. “It’s just that I don’t mind. You may have your expertise, poet. Don’t forget I have mine.”

The way Jaskier smiles is more blinding than the warm, orange glow of the sun. A faint layer of pink spreads on his cheeks.

“How can I, my dearest baker? The wonders you can do within this very kitchen… I—” Jaskier looks down, his lashes fluttering. “Have I told you how much I adore it when you cook? All the heart you put into your craft, I only aim to reach a tenth of it, but it doesn’t seem to come together.”

There’s a hint of distress in Jaskier’s voice now. Concerned, Sam walks to the counter and inspects the dough—it is, indeed, too dry, and not kneaded enough. Despite the strong arms the poet hides underneath the dashing jacket and puffy sleeves, this craft requires a certain amount of brute force that only comes with practice.

“Let me help, please,” Sam says, covering Jaskier’s hands with his, waiting.

“And how do you plan on it?” Jaskier whispers, his voice dropping lower, hoarse, even.

“We can add some water first.”

“But I’ve tried, Sam my sweetie pie. Then it’s too wet and I had to add flour. It’s an endless cycle, you see.”

The pet name makes Sam’s heart flutter for a beat, and he feels a blush spreading, mirroring Jaskier’s. He has to clear his throat just to find some words.

“Is that why you are in such a mess?” Sam says, bopping Jaskier on the nose, wiping away the flour.

“What—Oh, no!” Jaskier half-panics, and starts cleaning his face frantically, which only makes it worse. “A bard can never look disheveled! This is a tragedy!”

The sight of Jaskier covered in flour and distressed is too adorable that Sam has to giggle out loud. He takes Jaskier’s hands in his and picks up a clean towel, dabbing at the bard’s cheek carefully.

“As I said, you can just ask for help.”

Up close, those cornflower blue eyes are more stunning in the golden light of the sunset, and Sam loses himself in them. He even misses it when Jaskier’s hands sneak up once again, running his fingers through the curls at Sam’s temple.

“Thank you,” Jaskier wraps a hand around Sam’s jaw.

“Are you trying to get flour on me too?”

“Mm-hmm.” Jaskier nods, ever so seriously.

Sam lets out a soft laugh. “You truly are my life’s blessing, Jaskier. Do you know that?”

Somehow that statement makes the mirth in Jaskier’s eyes disappear for a split second. In its place is the deeply hidden pain that bleeds through his songs. Sam thought he’d never see that hurt look again. He thought he could heal it.

“Oh.” The baker recoils. “I’m so sorry if I said anything wrong—”

“No!” Jaskier catches his hands, chasing him. “No, it’s not you. It’s just…”

“It’s the thing you cannot tell me.”

Sam manages a smile, because how can he not when Jaskier is sad? He’d put many more smiles on Jaskier’s face with all the pies and honey cakes he can make until nothing hurts anymore. Jaskier deserves that, at least.

The bard has an old wound from his past, but Sam oh-so desperately hopes to be his future.

“Not yet.” Jaskier kisses Sam on the hairline, a chaste peck that melts something within the two of them. “One day.”

“One day.”

Jaskier sniffs, and there’s still flour on the tip of his nose. Gods, he might never get clean by this rate, so Sam kisses the last of it away.

“Now,” the barker adds, “let’s save your bread. One step at a time.”

Basked in the sunset, a grin stretches across Jaskier’s face, the golden light blending with the blue.

The road to healing is long and winding, but in Sam’s kitchen, an old wound might just begin to close.

One step at a time.

[pink-cosmic-kisses]

just some uhh um post show headcanons

THESE GUYS ARE ALL I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT LATELY so i'm going to share some headcanons for the characters after they finally get home haha

ben

- very chill and easygoing, yet somehow still very alert to his environment

- doesn't care for his appearance much anymore, much to his mother's dismay. his hair is constantly messy and, rather than collared shirts and khakis, he opts for more comfortable clothes when he can, like t-shirts and sweatpants

- has severe nightmares about his experience in jurassic world

- joined an art club in school and takes drawing classes in his freetime

- also joined track because he has a lot of built-up energy that he needs to burn in healthy ways. also, i reckon he really looks up to yaz and enjoys competing with her, which is why i think he'd do track lol

kenji

- tries to talk to his father more often, but they still bump heads a lot

- still lazy, but is working to improve his grades and such since being with the others helped him realize his issue with procrastination

- constantly convinces his dad to pay for trips so the camp fam can meet up often

- took up piano for fun and realized he really enjoys playing. he got his dad to sign him up for lessons and can play quite a few songs by memory already

- still struggles with keeping his feelings bottled up, but is slowly learning to open up with help from darius and sammy

darius

- his mom and brother are a LOT more protective over him now, which can be a bit exasperating for him to deal with

- adopted a pet dog to help cope with trauma, probably named it a dinosaur pun or something stupid like that

- tries to avoid a lot of his directly jurassic world related interests, such as the video game he used to play all the time, but still loves dinosaurs and such all the same

- very irritable, his family will talk to him and he'll lash out for no reason whatsoever. he often needs to talk to brand for comfort

- even though his dad's death still hurts, he's come to a better standing with it and is learning to move on. he finally painted the model dinosaurs in his room and is more open to talking about his death with his family

yasmina

- likes to draw the camp fam a lot, especially sammy. when they have group calls, she gives them little sketchbook tours

- she gives ben a lot of art tips in individual calls, and lowkey loves seeing his drawings even though they're not that great

- her hurt ankle still affects her, and she's started wearing a brace to help quell the pain during competitions and practices. it sucks, but she's very grateful that it isn't worse

- cut her hair short after she got home

-after getting closer with brooklyn, she has a newfound interest for makeup and fashion in general. she likes to practice when they meet up, although she's not very good at it. ben jokes about it sometimes since she jokes about his drawings so much

brooklyn

- still travels around the country for her channel, and whenever she's near where her one of her camp friends live, she insists that she must visit them before they go back home

- started doing ballet, but has a lot of trouble keeping up with the schedule due to her youtube filming schedule

- went on hiatus on social media for the first couple months that she was back home, but has since gotten back into the groove with encouragement from her friends

- kenji and her are especially close, and they love doing stupid youtube challenges whenever they're together (i/e chubby bunny challenge, friend does my makeup challenge, etc)

- loves singing, but only does it for sammy and darius at the moment

sammy

- she constantly apologizes to her family for leaving home without permission, but they've definitely forgiven her. no matter how many times they say that she's forgiven, she still feels horrible

- loves baking!! whenever she's with the camp fam, she makes them baked goods to share during their activities

- very into hockey and american football

- joined show choir and has performed a lot of shows ever since. she absolutely loves the rush of dancing and singing on stage, and it's especially nice when the camp fam comes to watch her

- made them all friendship bracelets and mailed them to everyone :D

and that's it for the headcanons so far! i want to write/draw something for a couple of these but i might not since i'm lazy lol

[novantinuum]

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: Teen Audiences (TW: language)

Words: ~3K

Summary: Lars has no idea what he was expecting the moment Steven texted him in the middle of the night to ask if he could come over, but being immediately tackled in an intense vice-grip of a hug the second he opened the door probably wasn’t it.

Set mid SUF.

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten to write Lars’ POV before this, but it was really fun! If you read this and enjoy, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos/comments on AO3. Thank you! <3

____

Besides the quiet lull of the TV and the electric hum of the attic’s rickety old heater, all is silent in the Barriga household. The nighttime streets outside are vacant. Not a soul roams through his section of town, not even the newer Gem arrivals, who thankfully have been informed of humanity’s biologically mandated curfew by now. Sheesh, it’s about time.

After all, silence is peace. And in this day and age, in a world where the barriers between human and intergalactic politics are becoming increasingly blurred by the hour, peace is a gift.

Which is why having free time to play whatever old video games he wants in complete and total solitude at one AM is probably the single thing keeping him sane at this moment.

Lars’ fingers expertly flick at the joysticks of the controller as if by innate memory. It genuinely feels like forever since he’s been able to lose himself for hours in a solo campaign like this, and quite honestly, if given a choice he prefers it to any other leisurely activity. Chatting with his online friends or with that Gem gang of his is fun, sure, and working the counter at his bake shop can often be emotionally satisfying, but pushed too long and any kind of social interaction feels draining. He shifts on his bed, paying little to no attention to the slight chill against his bare chest. He’s pretty sure it’s like, near freezing outside and yet somehow it’s no more an annoyance to him than having to pause to reload an ammo clip in this game. It’s weird. Really weird. But then, at this point everything about his dumb life is.

It’s the Steven effect, he thinks with a soft scoff. Weird practically orbits him and his moms, and inevitably, every person he comes in contact with is brought into the fold. He’s a good kid, though. Don’t get him wrong. Steven always tries his best to be thoughtful when dealing with people he doesn’t understand— even when initially those people just act like dicks in return— and he for one is grateful for that, for the gift of a... a second chance. He knows full well he didn’t deserve it, (he still doesn’t), but he’s grateful.

The kid’s still on his mind when his phone lights up on the nightstand beside him, like the now familiar glow of Gems synchronizing to fuse.

(And goddamnit, does a part of him still balk almost two years later that it’s so normal to be casually relating everyday things to outer space Gem stuff anyways. What is he, with his pink hair and alien friends, the main character of an anime?)

Eyes skirt away from the grainy television set he’s been playing his favorite Immortal Combat on, and glance at the new notification.

Steven, the name at the top of the text reads. Well, lo and behold. The true shounen protagonist himself. Somebody’s ears must have been burning. Though, hmm. Come to think of it, that’s actually unusual. They pass bullshit memes back and forth sometimes, yes, but he never sends him anything this late at night.

Lars frowns, failing to obscure that annoying, instinctual worry that seizes him like the long lost sensation of hunger rising from the pit of his stomach, and scoots forward on his bed to grab his phone. What’s he want at this hour, anyways?

Steven: hey, sorry i know its late but can i come over ?

His frown deepens as he glances down at himself, clad in only a pair of boxers. He doesn’t mind having an unexpected visitor— after all, it’s not like he requires sleep anymore— but he’s not exactly dressed for company, here.

yeah but gimme a mo, he types back. kinda need to put on a shirt

Steven: k

Yawning out of sheer habit, he leans over the other side of the bed and grabs the first decent smelling tee he can find off the floor. It’s got an overlapping triangular emblem on it, a symbol from one of the game series he used to be obsessed with as a kid. He quickly shrugs it and a stray pair of sweatpants on, then returns to his phone.

decent now, he updates him.

The response is almost immediate.

Steven: be there soon

With a heavy inhale, he leans back against the headboard and begins to mentally prepare himself for the passage of One Whole Teenage Boy through the portal in his hair. For the most part he’s grown used to the changes caused by Steven’s literal magic resurrection, but not this. Who the hell knows how his pet lion puts up with it all the time. Quite frankly, how that creature has remained so docile and patient after years of interloping within Steven’s chaotic world of Gems eludes him, ‘cause it sure as hell isn’t a side effect of all the death-defying space voodoo.

Also, he’s like, 97% sure that “docile” and “patient” aren’t words anyone would pick to describe him at any stage of his life, ever.

And yet, yawning in his boredom, Lars waits.

And he waits.

And he waits.

And when eventually he breaks his stubborn streak and dares to check the time on his phone to see how many minutes have elapsed, how many minutes of his thrice-damned maybe infinite lifespan he’s wasted sitting up against the far wall of his room waiting for that kid to tumble right out of the literal inter-dimensional door hidden amidst the curls atop his head, he’s mildly surprised that his first emotional response to this delay is... dare he admits... disappointment.

It’s been nearly fifteen minutes. For whatever unknown reason, it seems as if Steven may not be coming over after all. Huh. He wonders what changed his mind. Pressing his lips into a thin line, Lars decides to check his texts. It’s possible the guy wrote something else and he just didn’t see it. But when he pulls up his latest conversation, all that comes up are the last messages they sent to each other. Be there soon, he said.

He hovers hesitant fingers over the keyboard, caught in the midst of trying to decide whether or not it’s too invasive and prying to send some sort of casual check-in, when he picks up on a very timid knock on the front door downstairs. And given the lateness of the hour, there’s really only one person it could be. He blinks for a moment, his mind still doing somersaults in order to process the mere concept of Steven not gleefully taking the opportunity to explode out of his hair for once in his life, and then drags himself up to his feet. Walks out of his attic room and down the stairs, being careful not to disturb his slumbering parents. Unlatches the locks on the door.

Truth be told he has no idea what he was expecting the moment Steven texted him at one fucking AM to ask if he could come over, but being immediately tackled in an intense vice-grip of a hug the second he opened the door probably wasn’t it.

He struggles not to stumble backwards at the initial force of the teen’s silent yet yearning embrace, eventually regaining his stability and... slowly, delicately... hugging him back. Honestly, he’s never been much of a hugger himself, but eh. He’ll give the guy this one. After a brief moment Lars gives him a few awkward pats, clearing his throat.

“Uh, Steven? You good to let go, now?” he asks quietly, still keeping his voice in a whisper for his parents’ benefit.

“Oh! Y-yeah, yeah,” his younger friend stammers, immediately pulling himself away. His eyes are drawn to the floor as he wrings his hands together. Timid. “Sorry, I just— I just needed somewhere I could clear my head tonight. Thank you, by the way.”

“No problem,” he throws back, gesturing for him to follow up the stairs. “‘S not like I ever sleep a wink now anyways. So I might as well have company.”

The two of them tiptoe towards the attic, a familiar setting for both. Steven’s been in here quite a few times before, so— already knowing the lay of the land— he plops himself down in the beanbag chair Lars keeps at the foot of his bed. They don’t talk about much of anything at first, merely passing back and forth brief updates about their lives. Small talk, nothing more. As expected though, Steven’s update is infinitely more interesting than his. Apparently he went on some mission to an alien planet with that Lapis friend of his the other day and had to deal with the attitude of some stubborn terraformers who didn’t want to stop working on their shitty old Homeworld assignment. (Meanwhile, the only update he has to offer is how he’s teaching Blue Lace Agate the art of bad baking puns while at work. Gotta leave behind some sort of legacy before he leaves with his fellow Off-Colors, of course.)

When the small talk finally dries up, (which seems... uncharacteristic, given the typical enthusiasm of his current visitor), Lars offers him a second controller.

“We can play the go-kart one, if you want,” he says, knowing full well that his friend isn’t a huge fan of all his war-themed combat games. Still, he figures the guy could probably stand to blow off a little steam. He looks super stressed, with his brow all creased and his stare unnervingly glassy.

The sixteen-year-old nods, adjusting his hands around the grips of the controller as Lars switches out the disk.

They race a few rounds in relative quiet, wholly insulated by the reassuring stillness of the night all around them, before Steven decides to open up again.

“Where do you think the line is?” he asks when they finish their current course.

His whole face scrunches in confusion. “Huh?”

“Between like, doing bad things, and outright being bad?” he continues, seemingly unaware of the comedic pulse of Lars’ initial response.

Lars blinks.

Considers these words deeply and thoroughly for a moment, as any good friend should.

And then...

“Where the heck did you pull that question from?”

Steven merely shrugs, his shoulders drooping a bit lower than they had been when he first entered his house a while back. “I dunno, just musing, ‘s all.”

The edges of his mouth curl downwards as he lets this corker of a conversation starter wash over him, not so much intended as a frown at Steven, but a frown at... whatever force of this universe would lead his friend to start musing about such depressing philosophical quandaries in the first place. Acting numb and brooding at the rest of the world is supposed to be his job, not this kid’s! And sure, yes, yes, yes, he knows he can’t exactly call him a kid anymore— at least not to his face— and that he’s been a teenager for a good three years now. It’s just that... well. For all his complaints about it earlier in life, Lars kinda grew to respect and feel uplifted by his cheery, upbeat, never-give-up-hope outlook. Dare he says, he kinda misses it.

(And for Steven’s sake, he kinda hoped he’d never discover the burnout and cynicism waiting on the other side. Alas, he fears that ship has probably sailed.)

“Sorry,” the sixteen-year-old mumbles upon noting his extended silence, his cheeks flushed with shame. “Probably not something anyone wants to think about at two in the morning. Just- forget I said anything, okay? Let’s play one more round, and then I can lea—“

Eyes widening, he holds up a hand to intercept that train of thought. “No, that’s— you asked an interesting question. Deep, but interesting. It’s fine, I don’t mind. I...”

He inhales deep, collecting his wits and whatever years of wisdom he may or may not have accumulated ever since dying and coming back to life.

“I suppose in my mind, people aren’t truly bad unless they intend to cause harm, y’know?” he begins, meeting Steven’s eyes. “You can still hurt others without meaning it, and like... that’s still not great, and you should still try and make up for it however you can, but... life’s complicated. People are complicated. It’s all a huge mess of emotions and ethics and beliefs all the time.”

He pauses, a twinge of melancholy rising within his chest as he catches a glimpse of a photograph hung on one of the wooden support beams at the far wall. It’s a selfie of him and Sadie he printed out a few years back when they were still low-key dating, one that— for the life of him— he can’t bear to take down. She’s kissing his cheek. He’s caught in the middle of laughter, playfully trying to nudge her away. They look... so young.

So naive.

(So human.)

“And sometimes it can be so, so easy to convince yourself that you’re always in the right,” he continues, quieter, “that people feeling hurt because of something you did is just their problem. In that case, it’s not that you wanted to harm anyone, it’s just... that you were blind to it, I guess.”

(And he was blind for a long, long time.)

“Like I said, it’s messy.”

Lars sighs, willfully averting his glance from the photographic reminder of all the ways he ignorantly fucked up with Sadie as a friend and partner, and with everyone in his life, making the same stupid mistakes over and over with nearly no improvement until he literally died to his old self.

“So, yeah. There. I guess that’s my opinion,” he mumbles, absentmindedly fiddling with the collar of his graphic tee. “Everyone makes bad choices sometimes, but you’re not actually a bad person unless you literally want to harm others. I don’t think people are bad once and bad forever, though,” he adds, pulling his hand away from his shirt.

Inhaling deep, he splays his palm wide, admiring those same old loops and whorls at the tips of his fingers, identical in every detail to his old, living, human self... but now pink. It's haunting, sometimes.

“People can change, y’know? If they make the effort to.”

When he finally glances back at Steven, he seems thoroughly spaced out by all his impassioned rambling, his gaze walleyed and void of any identifiable emotion. He scowls, unsure whether or not he should feel offended, and gives an exaggerated shrug to defuse the sickeningly earnest atmosphere out of this room.

“But hey, I’m biased,” he mutters, letting that instinctual, age-old self-depreciation coat his tone once more. “For all I know, everything I said could be absolute bunk, and I’m still just an asshole.”

“I don’t think you’re an asshole, Lars,” Steven finally speaks up, his expression still perplexingly unreadable.

“I—“ His eyes blow wider, the sheer frankness of this comment catching him entirely off guard, overturning all of his once-impenetrable defenses. “...Thank you. I’m trying not to be.”

The conversation doesn’t advance any further from there, both parties content to fade back into the understated comfort of silent companionship. They play a few more rounds of their racing game, Lars beating Steven handily each time. (Truth be told, he’s not confident he’s bringing his A-game, though.) Then, sometime around three AM, his friend drags himself out of the beanbag chair and announces that he should probably head home and get some rest. Apparently he’s got a lot of planning to do for Little Homeschool's graduation ceremony that’s happening in a few days, or whatever. Which, is fair. Not everyone is blessed enough to be a sleepless zombie like him.

“Y’know, it’s been nice, getting to hang out, just us,” Steven says— quiet, but genuine— as Lars leads him back down the stairs. “We should do this more often.”

Purposefully, given the unusual emotional atmosphere of this whole visit, he decides not to mention the fact that he's planning to leave Earth again when his all Gem friends finally graduate. Later, he thinks, when everyone's in a better place.

“Well, if you’re ever bored, you know where to reach me,” he replies as they reach the bottom step, fondly rolling his eyes. “The good ol’ inter-hair-mensional express. Just, y’know— text me. And not during work hours.”

The teen gives his thanks once again, and then exits out the front, making sure to be extra gentle shutting the door on his way out for his parents’ sake. Huh. Seems that even when he’s (seemingly) in a funk, he’s capable of being uber courteous like that. Goodness, how does he do it?

Lars stands motionless at the entryway for a few moments after he’s gone, staring blankly at the now empty space the sixteen-year-old just occupied. His brow furrows, his fingers curling in perplexion at his side. He doesn’t have enough insight into Steven’s inner life to claim anything for sure, but he can’t help but feel like something with that boy was... off, tonight. Like, beyond your standard teenage moodiness. His demeanor, his bizarre and specific question, his relative silence... it all seems to be pointing towards something, lurking in the background. Still, there’s little he can do for a person who’s not volunteering information. And it ain’t his job to drag it out of him, either. He always hated when his parents tried to do that when he was younger, and it almost ruined their relationship entirely. That’s the last sorta scenario he’d want to force upon Steven. He’ll open up when he’s ready, in the end.

And until then... well.

He just hopes that the kid knows that— beyond the bizarre magic portal in that pink lion’s mane— he’s always got a brother on the other side who’s willing to at least listen. To be but a small source of support.

If he wants him to be.

[dominusfero]

I see you want to do a self-ship challenge and can't choose between David, Daniel, and Jasper. I dare you to do all three.

Okay.

1. 

David: His personality, his long arms perfect for hugging and his gorgeous smile

Daniel: His beautiful eyes, his talent at violin/fiddle, his charisma

Jasper: His humor (no doubt he’s a memer), he’s got the cuddliest bod, his sense of fashion (as horrible as it may be, it’s amazing to me)

2. 

David: My baking skills. I love baking and I’m betting David has a serious sweet-tooth. We always have too many cookies, cakes, brownies in the house.

Daniel: I have magic hands (not NSFW, I took massage classes). I always manage to melt the tension out of his back and neck muscles, and he becomes a puddle when I do his thighs and feet. He’s very tense.

Jasper: (Not revealing my gender but--) Jasper likes my body, but not in a creepy way. He likes every little minor thing about my body, from my own scars to the heart shaped birthmark on my inner thigh. Plus, he says I’m soft.

3.

Since we all live together, it’d be a bunch of different pets. Daniel gets his own pet rat called Snowflake, Jasper and I share a little Dasypeltis named Scramble, and David has a German Shepard that we call Kino.

4. Raised ranch with a pool, big veggie garden and a nice patio. Stuck between bordering on a forest for the animals or set in a giant field so Jasper and I can go ATVing.

5. Do I need to? David and Daniel are both adults, their voices won’t change. Jasper’s, however, is definitely deeper than it was as a child. My best guess is: he sounds exactly like Griffin McElroy.

6. Everyone assumes it’s David, but really, it’s Daniel. He’s only ever known the forced version of love due to the brainwashing, never genuine. The first time I hugged him and he hugged back, I ended up falling asleep because he wouldn’t let me go.

7. Also Daniel. Romantically, I think it’s rooted in potential abandonment issues / possessiveness but it’s never egregious. Any other kind, it’s the same reason why David gets jealous: absurd competitiveness. Can’t ever be the worst at something, otherwise it’s Tantrum Time. Fortunately, kisses make this go away.

8. 

David: Counting Stars by One Republic (country-ish vibe fits with his aesthetic)

Daniel: The whole of “Love Like You” by Rebecca Sugar

Jasper: Blackout by Breathe Carolina (Party vibes man)

9. Yes! Okay, so the guys change all the time but I’m usually in the middle (or close to it). Daniel is a clingy s.o.b. If he isn’t latched onto me, it’s either David or Jasper. I always end up in somebody’s arms, though. It’s really nice. Jasper’s chest hair tickles.

10. 

David: One jab in the ribs and he squirms and squeals like a child

Daniel: Dude has 0 resistance to the tickles. I do not understand.

Jasper: A fucking rock (pun intended). He feels nothing.

Me: Ehh...kinda? I don’t think so.

11.

David

12.

We’re thinking of somewhere either in southern Italy or, if we had to stay domestic, probably New Orleans, Louisiana for the cuisine and culture.

13.

David: Forest cottagecore wedding

Daniel: Believe it or not, he wants a fairytale theme complete with toadstool cupcakes, pastel colored lights and simple grassy vibes. He likes the fantasy aspect of it because it feels so freeing.

Jasper: He’s stuck between Star Wars and an 80s bowling alley theme.

Me: Beach wedding so I don’t have to wear fancy clothes. Just a white swimsuit so I can go swimming right after.

14. Yeah, but the amount changes depending on who you ask. David wants two: one boy, one girl. Daniel, coming from a rather large family, wants no less than four and prefers boys. Jasper says he’s cool with one, has his fingers crossed for a girl but says if we end up with a boy, that’s just as dope.

15.

Daniel is the poet, Jasper is the cheesy love song writer.

16.

I guess my affection comes out in my cooking, but I also just snuggle/cuddle the fuck outta my boys.

David, for sure, is grand gestures. Flowers sent to work, buying candy/snacks when you’ve had a bad day, etc.

Daniel is more subtle, like meticulously folding the laundry or organizing your messy ass desk so you can actually find shit or tuning the guitar.

Jasper shows his love through bad puns and lots of hugs.

17.

To David: On cheek, forehead, lips

From David: My nose because he thinks it’s funny

To Daniel: On the back of his neck because it makes him weak in the knees

From Daniel: Knuckles because he’s a gentleman

To Jasper: His tum is fun because it makes him laugh but his lips are so much better

From Jasper: Wherever he can get to, he does not discriminate

18.

Since there’s four of us, we cuddle in a big pile on our lovely, humongous bed. Or in a pile split between the couch and floor while watching TV or movies.

19.

David: If he’s near somewhere to sit, I grab him from behind and pull him down and force him either into my lap or on top of me. Then I hold him until he feels less crappy. Kisses are involved.

Daniel: I brew him a cup of his favorite tea, give him a kiss and shoulder rub.

Jasper: He’s easy. Sneak up on him and squish a whoopie cushion with a straight face. Or kick open the door to wherever he is after blasting the Monsters Inc. Opening Meme track.

Me: I don’t have too many bad days but I do, being around my boys is enough to fix my mood on its own. But for those days when it isn’t, my boys usually make me some kind of fix-it meal (that usually isn’t very good but I ain’t gonna say anything).

20.

David: Gardening, well, veggie gardening. We love hoe-ing around together.

Daniel: Drawing and writing together. Daniel writes poetry and I design covers and illustrations to go along with it.

Jasper: Video games and meme sharing / making

21.

David: He took me out to this nice little hidden oasis deep in the mountains of the forest and we gazed at the stars. He started talking about something relating to the area we were in, but I fell asleep on him. Literally, we were laying down and I was on his right side and fell asleep with my face in his chest.

Daniel: We binged a bunch of horror movies and spent the night laughing at the stupid ways people died (or let themselves be killed). It was fun!

Jasper: I whooped his ass in Mario Kart and then we played Minecraft. I accidentally (not really) blew up his house.

22.

Camp (I was working for Camp Corp. and was sent to relay marketing information and a potential budget for the coming year, as well as mockup any infrastructure changes that may need doing)

23.

Daniel, though I will cut a bitch if anyone hurts my boys in any way. Daniel will actively murder, though, so we try not to let that happen.

24. 

YES

I miss my boys so much! David cries a lot and it hurts me in every conceivable way.

Ask me a freebie, I’ll answer it!

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Headcanons: Crankegos ⚙️

Aight, we’re doing this so buckle up, because I got a lot to share!

Note: I consider Memento one, but he’ll be in another post with Mori where I’ll go more into-depth about them both.

Mad Mike

Runs both an ice cream shop and an ice cream truck (he changes outfits depending on which he’s working at).

Once owned a highly successive business.

But it was shutdown after Silver Shepherd discovered that the ice cream was being laced with drugs.

Since then Mike tries to stop doing that..but once in a while he’ll put a tiny bit of cocaine in a scoop or two (claims it’s “extra sugar”).

Loves to bake on his days off.

Contrary to his song, he’s got a soft spot for kids and never drugs their desserts.

Struggles with his own addictions from time-to-time, but he’s getting better at dealing with the withdrawals.

Very flirtatious.

Also fluent in French, so that gives him extra brownie (pun intended) points.

Somehow, someway..he’s evaded police ever since the encounter with Silver.

Not very good at talking about his or other people’s problems...so he usually just whips up some ice cream as a temporary solution!

His eyes turn to pink and blue swirls whenever his sanity dips or if he wants to hypnotize someone who insulted his business practices.

Mike’s just a bubbly guy all around.

Blank

One of Ethan’s less malicious dark egos.

Embodies his anxiety and nightmares (though mainly the former)

Blank himself has severe anxiety issues that tend to make him panic over small things.

Corroded teases him for being a crybaby sometimes, but he can’t help he’s overly-emotional. 

Gets very self-conscious of his acne/black eyes/appearance in general, afraid of scaring people away.

Has bluish-pale gray skin.

Likes wearing baggy clothing, though it’s really only to hide the wilted vines and black veins that wrap around his arms and legs.

When he has a breakdown, black oily tears stream down his face, he shakes violently, the room get abruptly cold, and he mumbles unintelligible gibberish.

It can go on from a few seconds to almost 15 minutes straight. It's extremely hard to snap him out of it.

Has haptephobia (fear of physical contact), but he’ll let people he’s close with (like the other egos) make contact with him.

Hates being thrown in with the rest of the dark egos.

Corroded

The first of Ethan’s dark egos, albeit the more forgettable one.

He’s a rusted robot, with gray/brown skin that’s metallic in some areas (especially on his face and hands).

Completely hollow inside (physically) except for metal “bones” keeping himself together.

His eyes are also empty sockets instead of being purely black.

Like Anti he’s a glitching entity who induces paranoia in people with hushed whispers and clones of himself.

Bitter to Ethan about being used for the 5-year anniversary poster advertisement, despite that not being his intention at all.

Also resents Blank for becoming the more popular dark ego.

Regularly drinks oil.

If you call him an animatronic he can and will decimate you.

His biggest pet peeves are being taken for granted and being called a “dumb robot”.

A major weakness is his legs being so rusted they lock up and he can’t move for a long while.

Heapass

A punkish prisoner who’s best friends with Yancy.

He’s been arrested for smoking illegal drugs, dealing said drugs (with Mike, who managed to escape officers while ditching him in the process), and excessive speeding/reckless driving.

But he was sent to HTP for a fatal hit-and-run (while he was smoking grass behind the wheel).

Doesn’t talk a whole lot, but he likes to stand around and smugly grin like he’s got a trick up his sleeve.

Spoiler: He doesn’t, and if you were to ask Yancy about him he’d tell you Heap is one of the sweetest people he’s had the honor of meeting.

He did break his arm during a brawl (tho he told the warden he fell in the yard).

He’s good at keeping secrets. He has no reason to gossip unless you insult his family.

Also dyed his hair black. Just because.

Jake

Was among the many bright scientists trying to find a cure for the spontaneous zombie plague.

He was also Prof. Beauregard's assistant.

Though unfortunately he didn’t last long before he ended up turning.

Surprisingly he still retains much of his scientific knowledge.

But he can’t wrap his rotting brain around complex formulas.

So he’ll sometimes try to mix chemicals and write notes--both of which turn out to be huge messes.

With the other Crankegos, Jake has his own lab.

He gets agitated easily, so he’ll go there to calm down if he needs to.

Can still speak normally, though his voice is extremely scratchy and he hates repeating himself.

So Yahoo often translates for him.

Likes being with a group of zombies...humans not so much.

Though since the Crankegos aren’t exactly human, he doesn’t mind them at all.

Bernice

She’s the gothic mother hen of the Crankegos.

Though at the same time she’s a vicious mama bear if you dare cross her and/or her family.

She’s stern with Mike and Corroded, but very soft towards Heap, Jake, and Blank.

The prisoner often looks to her as a mother, since he didn’t have the best relationship with his own growing up.

Loved red, black, and silver makeup. Especially eyeshadow and mascara. She makes sure to visit the dye shop every so often to keep her hair a bright red.

No one knows how she pays for all those times. But she does it.

Very sassy and likes to show-off a lot, though she’s not a narcissist. 

She’s very generous, too, and can’t stand the thought of being completely obsessed with only her own happiness.

Don’t ask her if she feels weird being the only female Crankego. She’ll break your kneecaps.

Cries at animal rescue/adoption commercials all the time.

Likes wearing meme shirts to be “hashtag relatable”.

She says it exactly like that and Ethan, Heap, and Mike groan every time she does.

Saint

He’s a very holy man, of course, with much dedication to the church.

While Saint doesn’t say what church (or even what his name is for that matter) he’s from, he practices good teachings.

Scolds people if they constantly curse/take the Lord’s name in vain.

He tried integrating memes into his teachings so younger generations won’t be as bored during mass.

But when Jeremiah (Priestiplier) proofreads his writings..he just shakes his head in disapproval.

So those never see the light of day.

Thinks Blank, Corroded, and Jake are horribly cursed and regularly tries spraying them with holy water.

He just gets three annoyed inhuman beings glaring at him.

Heap and Mike confess their recent sins to him sometimes. It helps them get stuff off their chest.

Though Mike always starts out by saying “I’ve been very naughty-”

And Saint has to stop himself from slapping him with the book.

Beyond that, he’s just an all-around good dude.

Yahoo

Like Bing and Google, he’s a search engine-based android designed to answer people’s questions.

Often speaks in a soft and sincere tone of voice, though he can be firm when necessary.

One of his eyes is more cybernetic than humanlike, and it’s capable of many functions including infrared and x-ray scanners, as well as being able to instantly identify any individual he sees.

That’s how he got to know all of the Crankegos so easily.

He’s on good terms with all the Googles...except for Blue, of course, since he thinks he’s just another rival.

But Yahoo still tries to be kind regardless.

Unfortunately some take advantage of that, though Bernice and Mike usually come to his defense.

He’s terrified of water and viruses..so he tends to stay away from Blank and Corroded.

When he’s recharging, both his eyes glow purple under his eyelids.

He’s got a lot of service features, including Yahoo! Finance (to help with personal finances), Answers (a q&a), and Mail.

Kinda misses the funky logo the company had from 1996-2013

[rt8815]

OC Ask Game

I was tagged by the amazing @illegalcerebral

I put a Keep Reading link because this is looong.

1) Name (and why you chose it if you like) McKinley Campbell Durand. I named her after McKinley Morganfield, better known as Muddy Waters. However, the “in universe?” reason that will be given - which I haven’t written yet - is that McKinley and Campbell are family names from a few generations back.

Campbell comes from the Gaelic words for ‘crooked’ and ‘mouth.’ I just like the name. Here’s a post (that I had to rewrite because Tumblr’s a dick and wouldn’t let me edit the typos in the original. The rewrite had typos too! Blargh!) that discusses her first and last names. I thought it would be funny for her full name to consist solely of last names.

2) Fandom and how they fit into the story Criminal Minds. She works at a D.C. museum practically around the corner from the J. Edgar Hoover building (as indicated in “Let It Bleed”). That’s a tiny hint that it’s the National Museum of African American History & Culture, but I don’t think I’ll mention it very often, if for no other reason than I’ve never been to the NMAAHC and don’t want to describe it inaccurately.

The official story is that Spencer and McKinley met at the museum (again, in “Let It Bleed,” which is probably the least favorite thing of mine that I’ve written). However, they’d met once before, and texted a few times after that. Because my brain is all over the place, and because I’m telling the story in non-chronological order, I haven’t written their first meeting yet. The only details I’ve revealed thus far are that it was nighttime in a park, McKinley caught Spencer off guard and made him fall to the ground, and whatever they talked about set Spencer straight and lifted his spirits. Also, a swingset was involved. Beyond that, I’ve inserted McKinley into the plotlines and events of the show, with necessary alterations, and there’s a ton of domestic Spencer and off-duty team stuffs.

3) Do they have any family? Biological family: daughter Sophie and son Jason; her Mom (no name yet); maternal grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins; and her estranged father (no name yet). Chosen/found family: husband Spencer; the BAU.

4) As a child, what did they want to be when they grew up? When she was a toddler, McKinley wanted to be a pediatrician (a doctor just for kids?! Cool!) or an ophthalmologist (she’s worn glasses practically her whole life). As an older child she aspired to be an entomologist or herpetologist. In her teenage years she considered a career in forensic pathology or criminal psychology. While earning her BA in English, she discovered that Public History was her true calling.

5) Their greatest dream To be a good Mom. To inspire learning in others.

6) Their worst nightmare Losing her family; having to see her father again.

7) Strengths Empathy, insight/self awareness, forgiving nature but knowing when to cut her losses

8) Weaknesses McKinley struggles with imposter syndrome.

She can be very mean. I mean, downright nasty cruel, verbally. This is rare though because, and I’m paraphrasing a future bit of dialogue here, anyone whose behavior could arguably warrant such a response is beneath her notice and not worth the effort. She’s more likely to close the door on someone. When she’s removed a person from her life, she is done. They become literally nothing to her. McKinley will rightly claim that this is about self-preservation and boundaries, but she really takes it to the next level.

9) What would they chose between: morning and night, sweet and savoury, beaches or meadows, cities or countryside, winter or summer, Christmas or Halloween (sorry, Spencer!), movies or TV shows, action or rom-com, clowns or vampires, stars or the moon (both!), cocktails or pints [Neither. McKinley doesn’t care for cocktails or beer. Scotch, brandy, rum, and dry wines are her poisons. She’s been known to add Kahlúah to vanilla ice cream, Baileys Irish Cream to coffee (she wants to try Drambuie next), or make hot toddies when she has a cold (obviously not mixing any alcohol with any medicine)]

10) How do they relax? Reading, or having Spencer read to her; knitting; listening to her records or playing her guitar; exercising with Boogie so she’s exhausted enough to sleep that night; baking and cooking

11) What makes them angry? Injustice, apathy/indifference, ableism, willful ignorance

12) What makes them afraid? The awful things she’d possibly do under duress; her family getting hurt or worse; spiders and other bugs that bite and/or sting

13) What is a moment from their childhood that has shaped who they are? It’s not a single event, but growing up with an abusive parent has certainly had a lifelong impact on McKinley. You’ve heard the expression “once bitten, twice shy?” She’s “once bitten, there’s no twice because you no longer exist.” She’s working on that. It’s also cultivated empathy, though, and is part of the reason she volunteers in the hospital’s rehab wing.

14) Do they have a sense of humour? Intellectual humor, pop culture references, puns/Dad jokes, science jokes. Sometimes morbid.

15) What do they value in their friends/loved ones? Honesty and empathy

16) Do they have any pets? An Aussie Collie/Border Aussie named Boogie-Woogie. He’s her first child.

17) Worst memory? Probably the day Meadows shot her and she thought she’d never see Spencer and Penny again.

18) Best memory? The days Sophie and Jason were born. Minus, y’know, the agonizing pain of labor and delivery.

19) Do they have any tattoos? (If no would they get one?) Nope and nope

20) If you could write them into another fandom, which one would you choose? If I knew the MCU better, I’d love to write her in as a Stark Tower employee! She’d be an anthropologist and would study alien societies the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. have encountered. She’d naturally be drawn to Loki, initially in a professional capacity (they quickly discover they relate to each other on a personal level as well).

He’d first find her annoying: “Why are you pestering me, Mortal? Surely you’d rather interview my oaf of a brother?”

“No, not even remotely. He only ever wants to discuss battles he’s won. There’s so much more to Asgard and the other realms than that. I want - I need - to learn your literature, your science, your culture and history. You’re well versed in all of these subjects and you’re an excellent teacher.”

He stares at her impassively over his mug of tea, but his heart - that Judas of an organ - flutters slightly at the compliment. And how can he say no to a fellow scholar?

“I prefer your company to Thor’s too. You have this calming presence. Thor’s sweet but he’s also obnoxiously loud and brash and he always hugs me even though I keep telling him I don’t like it. And he’s constantly swinging his hammer around, which makes me think he’s overcompensating for something.”

Loki nearly chokes on his tea. Yes, this mortal is considerably more tolerable than others.

“Very well. Friday evenings at 6:00, my chambers. Arrive late and suffer my wrath.”

From that day forward, whenever Thor tries to hug her, he gets mildly electrocuted.

Did I accidentally sorta kinda write a drabble? Would anyone be interested in making this a collab? That’s what they’re called, right? (Can you tell I’ve given this some thought? Haha! I have even more details in my head.)

21) Do they like their job? (What else would they do if they could?) She loves it! Hmmm, what else…? A librarian maybe. Or animate and produce an educational cartoon series.

22) What is their sexuality? Demisexual

23) Do they believe in love at first sight? Soulmates? One true love? McKinley believes in “seeing the potential for a good relationship at first conversation.”

Yes, although she feels that term has become overused and poorly redefined.

People can find love again after it’s been lost.

24) What music do they listen to? Has that changed over time? I actually recently answered an ask about this. Yes, she grew up on what passed for country in the ‘90s. God help her, she had a boyband phase in junior high.

25) Can they cook? What food do they love? McKinley does pretty well in the kitchen. She loves a wide variety of food. She grew up in the south, so tons of carbs/comfort foods. She loves Thai, Japanese, and Indian food. She cooks up Middle Earth-inspired dishes (ha! nerd). She’s especially proud of a seed cake she bakes.

26) What are their hopes for the future? For her family to be healthy, safe and happy. To be debt free.

27) How do they react to being threatened? It’s a coin flip. McKinley might curl up like an armadillo and hope the predator gets bored and leaves, or she might kick the stool out from under them and cause their chin to slam into the bar and crack several teeth.

28) What is their love language? McKinley and Spencer both exhibit the Acts of Service love language, because just saying “I love you” isn’t enough. You ought to show it. She’ll randomly bake doughnuts for Spencer or play guitar for him in bed, and he’ll take care of laundry, dishes, and any other chores he sees need doing.

Quality Time is important for them too. Once a month, Luke and Penny babysit so Spencer and McKinley have a day alone together. It doesn’t really matter what they do. The point is it’s just them.

It caught McKinley by surprise how much she enjoys physical affection, given that she can be touch averse but holy moly she was more touch starved than she realized. She lives for snuggles and makeout sessions and playing with each others’ hair. When one of them doesn’t want to be touched, they hook their pinkies together.

29) What do they find most challenging in relationships? At work? In general? At work she struggles to gain her colleagues’ respect (think “Boy Genius” treatment except she has lady bits). In general, she struggles with trusting people.

30) What do you as a creator love best about writing this character? Giving her everything I wish I had but don’t.

Bonus: Include a link to your favourite work with this OC or write a small drabble.

October 12, 2021

Warm sunlight filtered through the curtains, gently rousing Spencer from a pleasant sleep. Just when he’d decided to get up, he felt the mattress dip behind him and his wife’s breath fanning over his ear.

“Who’s the birthday boy?” whispered McKinley.

Spencer smiled softly but feigned being asleep.

“Who’s the birthdaaay boooy?” she repeated, bouncing slightly.

“The good-looking guy to your left?”

“Happy Birthday!” she laughed, pressing kisses along his neck, suddenly shifting the mood from playful to sexy.

“Would the birthday boy like his birthday present?” she asked as she lifted the covers.

“Well, look at that - it’s already unwrapped!”

[thisstableground]

I'm writing my first Ruben fic! Can I know some of your hcs for Ruben? and is it alright to borrow some?

of course! here’s just the ones that make up the core of what i consider my ruben characterisation, use whichever ones you want.

- he’s autistic, and sometimes especially when he’s very stressed/tired he goes non-verbal and communicates either via writing stuff down on his phone or sort of half-sign language. like it’s not proper ASL but he’ll mime more obvious things.

- ptsd probably goes without saying. his biggest triggers are unexpected touches, people calling him “rubes” or other variations on his first name, planes/anything airport related, men who are bigger than him standing too close, a specific kind of jazz music (that’s what was playing in the car when ian drove them out from the airport), sitting in the backseat of a car, and feeling pressured into doing things. has frequent nightmares.

- literally a genius. went to college at fifteen, got his phd by 22. will win a nobel prize one day.

- LOVES PLANTS. PLANT BOY ALL NATURE ALL THE TIME pets would not work around his schedule when he’s at IMH and post-jamaica they’re more responsibility than he can deal with (plus he has allergies), but he doesn’t mind because to him his plants are his pets. he sings them little songs when he’s watering them to help them grow. taking care of them helps him feel like he’s doing something good, like even if he’s struggling to look after himself he’s keeping something alive.

- he bakes a lot when he’s stressed. it’s basically just lab work but the stakes are significantly lower and at the end he has cake.

- his food preferences are either “intensely bland plain toast level” or “enough spice to make satan’s eyes water”. there is no in between setting.

- his dad is a fuckin deadbeat who ditched when he was seven. ruben barely remembers him other than that he was a dick, but it had way more impact on ruben and his need for validation/for people to think he’s useful than he’s actually aware of. he is a total mama’s boy but still often prone to hiding things from her, he doesn’t want to worry/upset her so often he doesn’t tell her things.

- his younger sisters are his half-sisters (different dad to him, they’re full sisters to each other). he is an extremely kind big brother, there’s a fairly big age gap  (i have paola as about ten years younger than him and mercedes about thirteen years) so he never really got into fights with them. they both adore him.

- favourite animal is seals. probably was a seal in another life. is definitely a seal in a parallel fic universe.

- he can have a really dry, dark sense of humour, especially round the few people he’s comfortable with. dark in the sense of it being turned towards himself - he doesn’t make fun of other people’s problems but will make jokes about his own terrible experiences that make everyone else wince. it’s a coping mechanism. also loves a stupid pun. that one’s not a coping mechanism, just him.

- he is the most patient human being alive. he can have some sass about it sometimes, if the other person deserves it (god knows he made sarcastic comments at jason/ian enough in the show, not that it had much impact on them), but if someone’s struggling or if it’s a young kid he can sit and explain something over and over and keep trying to find a way that will allow them to understand it.

- he doesn’t drink very often but when he does he likes stupid cocktails with ridiculous umbrellas. smokes weed very occasionally.

- loves comfy clothes. changes out of jeans and into soft sweatpants as soon as possible on getting home from work. wears colourful stripy socks and boxer-briefs with fun patterns on them. has the biggest collection of sweaters in varying shades of dark blue that you’ll ever see.

- he is soft and squishy in terms of body type, v good pillow, and when his hair grows out a little it is entirely a mess of cowlicks so he wakes up in the morning he always looks like he’s been electrocuted. always smells like coconut oil because he uses it to try and minimize some of the scars and also to keep his beard soft.

- despite all evidence to the contrary, genuinely doesn’t believe he’s a very good person. tries his best to be anyway. just desperately wants to be loved.

[apricotthevixen]

While I'm on the roll of finishing up character profiles, heres the updated profile for Honey!

Read the full biography under the cut

Name: Honey

Age: 20

Gender: Female

Species: Seedrian

Hair Color: Golden Blonde

Eye color: Green

Powers/abilities/styles/gifts: Cooking Honey loves to cook for her friends and family. She loves to cook large meals from scratch, which leaves them plenty of leftovers for her and her girlfriend in the fridge. She tends to stick to the recipes her mother taught her, but she likes to try new recipes online. She's a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to food, so if she makes a tiny mistake, she will trash the dish. Her favorite type of cooking is baking, cakes being her favorite to cook. Comedy Honey thinks that she's a pretty funny person. She enjoys making people laugh, though she seems to enjoy bad jokes and puns. She's pretty giggly, so she ends up making herself laugh, unable to finish her own joke.

Birth Town: A farmhouse in the country surrounding Station Square. Legally, it's in city limits, but she doesn't live in the city themselves. Its situated near a highway, so the noises are traffic is pretty common. Their house is surrounded to the left and the right by corn fields. Their backyard has a small lake, which is suitable for swimming and fishing. The lake can be seen from the kitchen window. There was a lot behind them which had their barn, mostly empty besides for a few chickens and a cow.

Current Town: Station Square Honey lives in a small apartment with her girlfriend Daffodil. They live near the train station (in terms of Sonic DX: Directors Cut layout)

Honey works as a co-owner of a bakery downtown, specializing in cakes, muffins, and all sorts of baked goods. Their home is filled to the brim with leftovers that didn't sell the previous day.

It makes the house smell like a bakery

Birth Allegiance: Neutral

Current Allegiance: Neutral

History: Honey is an only child with two loving parents. Her mother was a stay at home mom, raising Honey and attended to the house while her father was a farmer. They made enough money to get by and pay for bills but didn't have much for entertainment. They didn't really mind this much. Honey didn't go to public school, the bus didn't run close enough to their house and they were too poor to have a working vehicle (besides her father's small tractor) so she was homeschool by her mother. She didn't have many friends growing up, so she made friends and played with the barn animals instead. Honey was the only child living with her mother and father.  Her mother worked at home, raised Honey, and attended to the housework while her father worked as a farmhand for a farm nearby. They made enough money to get by but didn't have much after paying for bills and food. They didn't mind much. On nice days, Honey liked to fish with her father. However, when Honey was eight years old, she fell into the lake on accident when her father stepped away for a moment. She didn't know how to swim and almost drowned. Her father managed to get her out of the lake in time, however, but it left her afraid of large bodies of water. Even now, she's still a bit shaky of taking baths, so she prefers showers whenever she can. Honey started helping with the farm when she was 16. Her mother was against the idea since she wanted Honey to be a dainty little lady, but Honey insisted. She wanted to help her father and her family with their finances. It was also around this time where she started to figure out that she liked girls. When she told her parents, her mother was all for it, though her dad needed a bit more convincing before he could come to terms with it. <i>Author Note: I don't think LBGT related characters are in the games, to my knowledge. I have no idea if any are in the comics tho, so if anyone could help me, or at least point me to a character or instance, that would be great</i> Honey worked for about a year, saving her money. She lived practically sheltered on her farm all her life and wanted to go out and see the city for a few nights. She was finally able to go off on her own, as long as called her parents constantly for updates on how she was doing. She spent her first day in the city exploring, enjoying the sights and sounds of the city. She wandered a bit, astray, and ended up getting lost once it got dark. She wandered around, trying to find her way back when she met Daffodil for the first time. She seemed friendly enough and explained the situation to her. Daffodil was happy to lead her back to her hotel. During the walk back, Daffodil and Honey got to talking and really hit it off. They exchanged phone numbers, becoming fast friends and, after three years, became lovers.

Personality: Honey is a simple country girl. She believes that she sees the good in people and treats everyone, including strangers as if they were family. Because of this, she tends to not see when people are trying to take advantage of her. (For example, getting food at her bakery at a considerable discount) She's incredibly gentle, almost to the point of being motherly. She'll call everyone by nicknames, and remember the quirks and the personal tastes of her regular customers. She tends to put her own needs to the wayside to help someone else in need. She absolutely hates confrontation and has no idea on how to solves issues on her own. So she is the person who would be the first to give in if a confrontation arises. Honey likes to take the occasional adventure but mostly prefers to stay around at home and watching movies cuddled with her girlfriend. She prefers comedies and so-bad-there-good movies.

Illnesses/Physical Hinderances: Allergic to Bee stings

Strengths The optimistic view of life Supportive Can see the good in people

Weaknesses Gullible An Airhead/ somewhat ditzy Tends to sugarcoat things to avoid hurting feelings A sheltered child

Family/Pets Mother and Father: Still Alive. Living in the family home. Father still works. Mother teaches piano for neighbors and friends’ children.

Daffodil: Girlfriend. Lives with Honey.

Partners/Love Interest

Daffodil

Likes: Sweet things Homemade/Handmade Things Rocking chairs Summer afternoons Sweet Tea

Dislikes The cold When people get angry(Either at her or at someone else) Foods that are burnt/cooked wrong Spicy foods

Fears: Deep Water (Lakes and Oceans)

[cryptoriawebb]

SuperBats for the OTP questions

OTP Questions!

In honor of us hitting a thousand followers, here are some OTP questions!Think I’m feelin’ the DCEU for this one

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?Well, Bruce is the millionaire~

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?Hm…I think they both do this. But I can kind of…picture Bruce maybe more so. He doesn’t trust as easily and with Clark, he feels safe.And maybe guilty. And maybe wants to protect him, too.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?Hm…Honestly I think Bruce is more prone to shirtlessness while Clark tends to wear his flannels open.

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?Aww…well, I can see Clark jokingly telling Bruce not to “stay up” knowing he’s going to, anyway, being Batman but it would kind of be cute if he tried to stay up and wait for him, every so often, and each time Bruce finds him asleep at the table or on the couch. 

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?Bruce is not allowed near the stove. Ask Alfred (he’s totally taken to the Kents and he and Clark bake together from time to time)

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?XD I think Bruce says the first line sarcastically and Clark, not getting it riiiight away, says the second. Then is like “…wait you were kidding.” And Bruce just kind of half-smiles because darn it all, he is endearing.

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?Sometimes Clark borrows Bruce’s finer clothes for special occasions. 

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”Clark tends to run errands. He’s faster at it and I think might actually enjoy mingling with people.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?Bruce drives it. Clarlk flies alongside the window and critiques when he’s going the wrong way. To which Bruce insists that he isn’t, he’s got Alfred directing him.

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?I…can’t see either of them really drawing

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?XD Uh…well they’d be the ones breaking up the bank robbery so…But Bruce backflips and Clark takes his time because it’s kind of nice to watch Bruce scare the crap out of people.And also he knows as soon as he does arrive, party’s definitely over.

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?Bruce drinks. I’m not sure Clark can get drunk with what Earth offers…

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?I think…Clark does this. At first. Then Bruce starts feeling guilty and does the same.

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?I actually think Bruce might start adding Clark to things as a Wayne, to make absolutely sure when he goes, there’s something left behind.Clark is not happy about this.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?I can’t see either of them being afraid of spiders XD

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?Hm…I can see this going both ways, too.

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?They don’t have siblings…? 

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?*ahem* “I don’t…not like you.”^3^

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?I think they compliment each other pretty well. Clark wants to emulate his father for sure, but he’s got his mother’s empathy. Bruce is scary overprotective and can provide financially.

I think they’re both afraid, though. For their children’s safety, and perhaps that their kids won’t be able to relate to them in some way. That they’ll remain outsiders.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?Clark is a reporter so I think he’d be the master short-hand

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?Uh…I think Superman protects Batman and Clark is quick to step in when people get smart or nasty with Bruce. (Bruce also does this: it’s a mutual understanding between them that Clark’s inhuman indestructibility cannot be revealed)

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?Clark makes the puns for sure.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?Ooh…I can see this going both ways. They both have a soft spot for those in need/abandoned

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?It’s usually Clark holding Batman up, unless Kryptonite is involved.

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?I…can’t really see them doing this unless ‘activity’ means ‘battling the forces of evil.’

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?Oh man…I want to say Clark, and he totally pulls it up from time to time when Bruce is being stubborn.

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?Clark. In a different way. Showing Bruce the small town farmer life, get him back in touch with his humanity and life’s slower pace.

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?Well I mean…batcave.

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?They take turns. 

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?Honestly, wherever Alfred forced them to go. No ‘working vacations’ no ‘polar expeditions honestly you’ll sooner catch your deaths.’ Just a week-long cruise through sunny shores and ‘do try not to get into trouble.’

[sweettsubaki]

About the ultimate ship meme - how do you feel about starting it with Tim & Kon?

Ho Ho, you know how to pander to my interests :D

About this

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? Forever

How quickly did/will they fall in love?Over the years. Like there’s a layout since the beginning, the way they’re always calling out to each other than indicates a passion that could possibly one day turn into romance, but that’s it. Imo It started between the moment Kon started to live with the Kent and the end of the preboot (and I do mean started, they basically had 2 years for the friendship to turn romantic). Nothing happened the feelings were really there and it was actual romantic love instead of just having romantic feelings for the other (mostly because I don’t think they’ll realize it’s not just friendship until…a little while).I honestly don’t see them get together until they’re 19-20 at least 

How was their first kiss? I have so many different hc for that one. One of my favorite is just that they started kissing each other on the cheek when they’re going back home or something (like “Gotta get back to Ma, See ya later guys” *bends slightly to kiss Tim on the cheek ‘cause he was just there, because they’re almost always next to each other*) and like at one point it turns into a peck on the lips. And they don’t realize it happened until the next time they do it because then there’s someone with them who just gets completely shocked and it just…hits them.

Wedding:

Who proposed? I don’t know? I think it just might have come up in a conversation and neither actually remembers who proposed. (I can also see them going a lifetime always forgetting to pop up the question ‘cause they’re already married in their mind)

Who is the best man/men? Dick and Bart obviously

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? Cass and Cassie. People make fun of that…a lot.Maybe Barbara and Roxi too.

Who did the most planning? The Wedding Planner, Ma and Bart. DO NOT leave these two to plan anything

Who stressed the most? Either Both or Neither. I don’t think they’d see it as such a big deal. The hardest part would probably be if they did a civilian and a hero wedding.

How fancy was the ceremony?  Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.I’m torn because on the one hand neither wants to do something big, on the other hand, they’ll probably do something a bit fancy to please other people and/or the paparazzi. I’m not sure how religious Conner is but Tim isn’t so I didn’t pick the 5th one for obvious reasons.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? I’m not sure if there’s anyone who they specifically don’t want at the wedding. Maybe Jason? But he and Tim are on relatively good terms by the end of the preboot but not enough to invite him anyway so…

Sex:

Who is on top? they’re probably versatile

Who is the one to instigate things? Probably depends on the moment?

How healthy is their sex life? Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now I’d say healthy but I honestly try to never think about it so… (also this seems to be “do they have a high libido” rather than actually thinking about how healthy their sex life is)

How kinky are they? Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head Literally no idea. so I’m shooting in the dark (no awful pun intended)

How long do they normally last? Considering their training/Genetics they probably have a lot of stamina so…

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? Probably yeah. They might have a contest as to who gives more to the other though

How rough are they in bed? Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.Probably depends on their state of mind

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do?  No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? lol (unless you think of them using the cloning devices Tim tries to use to recreate Conner, that Cadmus had used to create him in the first place…then I guess…like…1)

How many children will they adopt? Depends on the story I have in mind. I think they’ll only adopt if a child comes their way looking devastated (on of the rare things I think Tim shares with Bruce). I’d say between 0 and 3.One is Helena (yes Catwoman’s daughter…Let’s just say that stuff happens and Tim finds her and she’s been very fond of red and black since she was a kid, so she latches on to him…they never leave each other’s side after that).Another one is totally @Chonaku-Things’ fault with her AU where Tim ends up taking care of Koonak (Mr Freeze’s adopted kid in the Batman cartoon) while Mr Freeze accepted to do his time in Arkham.And another kid whose name I keep changing so I’m gonna call them Maïte ‘cause I like the meaning (also it was my mom’s name so it helps :p).Also knowing that they already have Bart.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? Both. They find a way to share the task equally (as in they try to get the other to do more and end up doing the same amount)

Who is the stricter parent? Depends. Tim’s stricter for the basic “but you could hurt yourself” stance, where Conner’s much more of an “I’m telling you it’s a bad idea but you can try it, I’ll just be behind you the whole time, making sure you’re okay” parent for basic injury related stuff. Other than that, Kon is stricter on basic health like food, or doctors, he gets scared when there’s a tiny bit of a cough starting anywhere in the household. The rest of the time they either alternate or are as strict/lenient as the other and they always make sure to listen to the other’s reasoning and come to a compromise if need be.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? Tim, though he doesn’t stop them so much as encourage them to go the less dangerous route “sneakily” (the kids realize it half the time but humor him ‘cause they love being protected from this kind of stuff).They’re both adamant that none of their kids become vigilantes until they’re at least 16-18 though. 

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? Conner

Who is the more loved parent? Depends on the kids. Usually, it’s both because like ½ the kids I envision were under Tim’s care before he adopted them (he’s a foster parent in half my post-Reboot AUs, go figure) and before he got together with Kon and they just adopted Kon as a second parent along the way.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? The one who’s free at the moment (so probably Tim 3/5th of the time)

Who cried the most at graduation? Neither but they hugged their kids so much they all got bored and started communicating with their sibling with their eyes, trying to get them off their backs.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? Neither really. They’re both pretty honest people who raised honest kids….If the kids are in trouble and they did something they should own up to it however if the law picked on them unjustly (because they’re kids or PoC, or were just at the wrong place at the wrong time), they’ll both raise hell. (In my mind Kon goes on to get a law degree ‘cause he likes finding loopholes so he’s pretty helpful on that side, but Tim has the money so…).

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? Both. Conner was very adamant in lessening the amount of Junk Food Tim eats because of his asplenia though.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? They’re kind of the same about that one. They each have their No Go Food.

Who does the grocery shopping? Whoever has the time when stores are open….Tim most probably

How often do they bake desserts? At least once a week. Since their Time Table doesn’t always match the one who’s free tries to make something for the other. It becomes a tradition when they have kids to bake a small cake for the other parent to show that they all miss him.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? meat lovers. Both of them? Though Conner always feels bad ‘cause he’s helped with the Kent farm and he knows Cows are total sweethearts.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? Both, but neither is actually surprised since they know the other’s tells. It kinda becomes a game over the years that they alternate who plans what and to try and plan something without the other guessing what exactly (the use of specific gear or powers can or cannot be allowed depending on what kind of anniversary they’re celebrating. It’s a lot of stress, frustration and ultimately a very fun part of their lives)

Who is more likely to suggest going out? Both. Again it really depends. Tim’s more of a social butterfly but he probably wants to enjoy his bf’s company in the comfort of their home when he can because of their clashing timetables. So Conner might be the one to actually suggest it because he knows Tim would actually enjoy it.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? Both are easily distracted so….

Chores:

Who cleans the room? Conner doesn’t have the choice, if he doesn’t, Tim never will.

Who is really against chores? Tim (Conner’s a close second but someone has to be firm…that someone is Bart)

Who cleans up after the pets? Both

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? Both, but especially Tim.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? Conner

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? Both did, they don’t know where they come from, they’re this close to thinking their apartment makes money magically appear (they both rationally know it probably comes from Tim’s or Bruce’s pockets but it’s less fun to think about)

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? Both

Who takes the dog out for a walk? Both, they take Krypto out together, ‘cause they use the opportunity for a romantic flight

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? Whenever they can, it helps them feel normal.

What are their goals for the relationship? Just be happy together

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? Tim

Who plays the most pranks? Both