#also i literally think nearly all the guys on the show are so fucking hot so idk why i specified it for like 4 of them only

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

i've seen zks be like "if we were self inserting we would've been doing so with mai since she's such a blank slate character" but the thing is mai *does* have a personality, it's just an unconventional type of personality they can't personally relate to as much as they can with katara or jin

Katara also has a personality - one zutarians constantly disregard for the sake of self-inserting. Hence them constantly going on and on about how "No 14-year-old girl would go for a bald 12-year-old instead of the hot, older guy with a cool scar."

I wouldn't even say Mai's personality is unconventional, it's just personality that sexism says girls should not have. Being all nurturing and soft and vulnerable with someone else doesn't come easy to her, she doesn't react with too much emotion to most things, yet she will speak her mind when something isn't to her liking - and most things are not to her liking because, despite her apathy, she's not exactly someone people would discribe as "easy going". If Mai was a guy, especially a conventionally attractive one, she would be super popular, much like her boyfriend who could be a real bastard sometimes.

You just have to look at all the zutara fics, fanart and meta that constantly make Mai out to be an uncaring, cruel, and downright abusive person for doing things like not pretending to like something just because her boyfriend was the one to get it for her, or getting cranky, or asking Zuko to get her food, or simply getting mad at him when he unfairly accuses her of liking someone else... and then act like Katara is the "better woman" for supposedly being super easy going and "only wanting love"

Zutarians want a doormat girl that they can use to not only ship themselves with Zuko, but also to CONSTANTLY suck up to him. Katara just happened to be the one that was there from the start and, more importantly, didn't actually interact with Zuko that much, so she doesn't ruin their fantasy of "ideal girlfriend for precious boy Zuko" (extra ironic considering that, if Katara really was that passive instead of stubborn and strong-willed, Zuko would fucking hate her).

Because Zuko and Katara are rarely seen truly talking to each other and having to deal with their clashing personalities/goals, zutarians just pretend the negative scenes were "repressed sexual tension" to ignore the simple fact that these two characters genuinely hated each other - Zuko hated her for being a foreigner that dared to put up a fight against his nation's imperialism, and Katara hated him because imperialism killed nearly everyone in her tribe, including her mom - and then hyper focus on the few positive scenes, taking them out of context to make it romantic.

More importantly, they can pretend that they were TOTALLY thinking about each other during all those scenes in which they're dealing with literally any problem, as if Zuko and Katara were each other's "saviors", even though their arcs have nothing to do with each other -and since these are the overwhelming majority of the "scenes with zutara subtext" they are PERFECT for people who like self-inserting because they are completely blank slates.

But Mai? There are entire episodes in which her romance with Zuko is a super important part of the plot - and she speaks her mind regardless of whether Zuko likes what she has to say. She can be bossy, she can be cranky, and she is her own damn self (which Zuko canonically likes). More importantly, the show doesn't take the easy route of "every problem in their relationship is caused by something outside of their control, like the war or an obviously evil romantic rival that is totally coercing one of them into a relationship" - aka the lazy excuses Zutarians use to justify why their ship was never canon, let alone endgame.

Mai's personality is not easy to erase because she has an actual dynamic with Zuko, something Katara didn't have until the very end of the show and thus it naturally didn't get fleshed out enough to threaten the idealized version of it zutarians came up with in their heads. If Mai had been a one-off character like Jin, with only enough time to be charmed by Zuko's cluelessness, they would LOVE her.

[alotofrandomfangirling]

Roronoa Zoro NSFW Alphabet (Netflix live action)

Warnings: smut 🫠 and cursing (18+ / minors dni)

A/n: i can't stop writing for this man please help okay so i had a bunch of smut headcanons for live action Zoro so i thought it would be better to fit them in a NSFW Alphabet ajdlajakaj it's the first time i write any kind of smut so please forgive me for any mistakes 😅 (i also didn't check the grammar because i was too embarassed to copy and paste it on google translate lmao sorry about that too ajskajskaj) female reader is adult and everything is consensual 🙏🏻 i hope you like it!!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Zoro is very gentle after sex, he likes to hold you close and kiss your forehead as you both fall asleep together.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He is a boob guy. He loves your boobs, staring at, squeezing and sucking on them. He also likes kissing the valley between them.

And for himself he likes his chest and arms. He is super proud of how much you love to roam your hands on his chest and arms to feel his strong muscles.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He licks every drop of your cum when he makes you climax with his tongue on your pussy (we know he has strong teeth, so i'm guessing his tongue works well too 👀). And it's freaking hot when he wipes his mouth after that and goes kiss you with the same hunger he showed before.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He loves when you nibble on his ear.

You've recently gotten obsessed with the three earrings on his left ear and you want to suck on them all the time. He acts annoyed when you do it, but deep down he loves it, it makes him feel all tingly inside.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Zoro wasn't very experienced when you met, but, after all this time together, you've done it so many times that now he already knows by heart the exact spots he has to hit to take you to complete bliss.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He loves when you're on top of him. Watching your beautiful face from below, your boobs moving up and down, grabbing your ass... it's like poetry for him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Well, Zoro doesn't smile much in his normal activities, so the same applies to while having sex ajskajakaj he's usually more serious cause he takes being with you and pleasing you very seriously.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Well, he's nearly a pirate so don't expect much ajdkajskaj but if you ask him he'll take care of it, cause he will honestly do anything for you.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It may be surprising, but he is so romantic. The thing is your relationship is very based on love and trust, so sex for you is really an intimate moment for you to share your deepest feelings with each other. He makes sure to show you how much he loves you by taking care of you and pleasing you the best way he can.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He jerks off thinking about fucking you from behind with you wearing a mini skirt Nami had lent you one day. Zoro was never the same after he saw you in that lmaooo the sight stuck to his mind so he often remembers it 👀

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Okay so hear me out: Zoro with a praise kink. Boy's had a rough past, so he appreciates every little act of kindness you do for him. He loves when you praise him and whisper sweet things in his ear, for how good he is or how nice he is doing. You can literally feel how much he enjoys that.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Your shared room at the Going Merry. The rush of having to be silent so that the other straw hats won't hear you turns him on even more.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your voice. He loves listening to you moaning and telling him how good he makes you feel, it's like music to his ears.

(In fact, anytime you're feeling mischievous and want to mess with his mind, you just use that sweet voice that you know will drive him crazy)

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Degradation. Or hurting. Not at all. You were the best thing that ever happened to Zoro and he made sure to let you know that, so he wasn't going to call you names or any of that. Sex was also a very intimate and special moment between you two so he enjoyed you both exchanging only nice stuff.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves a good blowjob. Hell, he loves how good your mouth feels on his dick.

You love to see how he melts under your touch while you're sucking him off. He looks so pleased and makes such pretty noises moaning your name you want to keep going just to keep listening to that.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends. Zoro usually takes his time in pleasing both of you. But when he's a bit frustrated or angry and wants to release himself, he gets a bit rough, but never hurting you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He prefers the real thing, but whenever one of you is feeling needy, sure, he'll do quickies.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Zoro is a simple man: he gets to fuck you, he is happy. So usually risking and trying new things only happens when the idea comes from you (and you sure have good ideas very often *wink wink*).

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Several rounds. Your man's stamina is on point ajdkajskaj

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Zoro doesn't really like toys. He says just the both of you are enough to "feel really good". i mean are there even sex toys in the op universe i'll be in debt in this one ajskajakja

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He likes to go straight to the point so he doesn't tease much, except when he wants you to beg for it so he can hear that sweet sex voice of yours that he loves so much.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's not very loud, but he grunts a lot (and it's delicious for you to hear). He also frequently lets slip curse words in your ear when he's fucking you because he can't take all the pleasure.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

That time you were at Kaya's and he showed up wearing that suit? You could barely concentrate on dinner for how aroused you were seeing him in those clothes. He looked so. freaking. hot.

The second dinner was over and everyone went to sleep you pushed him to your bedroom and had him take his pants off so you could ride him like there was no tomorrow (suit still on of course cause you liked it ajdkajskaj).

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Let's just say those jokes about his fourth sword are actually true.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Zoro is horny for you all the time lol of course he understands there's a right time for everything but whenever he has the chance he wants to be with you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It doesn't take much for him to fall asleep. He'll do the job, feel good and then fall asleep for how tired he feels (but not before kissing your forehead and praising you for all that you did together 😉).

Template

[rat-rambles]

I'm gona explain to yall why I think Stanley is the one that's ace aro in cannon and not Ford or Bill. (Yes all head cannons are vaild blah blah I love acearo people I am one don't kill me)

So basically it comes down to if stan wanted some he could. Young stan seems to be considered relatively conventional attractive (not like ugly men don't mange to hook up but still) and even as a "ugly" old man he is the hottest old person in town befor Ford shows up and. Once he gets over his social awkwardness he is actually able to date he just isn't about that life. "What about Stanley's ex wife's" I hear you scream at your screens well thanks to Bill I have notes.

Thank you bill now could be lieing yes but frankly I don't think his god Alex would let that happen for something like this. Especially becuse it's way funnier if it's all cannon. Now I think 2 of them can be considered legitimate and there not exactly romantic are they. Stanley is well known to care more about money than any romantic relationship witch dosnt sound like some one who's not aro to me. I'll give that there are a couple jokes pokeing wholes in my theroy however personaly any atemps at straightness by stan just feel very performative to me. Like there's something a whole easy to about how stans masculinity is just a reaction to incurity but all I'll say for now is stan is despite to prove he's not a failure and part of growing up in the 80s and not being a failure is geting bitches. And yet he can't comit to a relationship for more than a few days and it's not for commitment isues bitch comited to a fucking portal for 30 years AFTER NEARLY FAILING HIGHSCHOOL. As I said if he wanted to he would.

Now I'm going to go on a long rant about Bill and Ford so if you don't want that stop now

Ok for the record staring off bill and ford are both unreliable narrators.

Ford (my first victim)

We've seen him get rejected twice in the show when he trying to flirt with girls the more famous one being when he gets punch thrown on him. Ford is a very scentive guy he can't handle rejection obvouly he's gona wax poetic about how it's not that he can't get any he's just you know so very busy. Funny how he's not busy when Bill comes into his life or fiddleford for that matter it's almost like that's not the problem

Now I can see how you can read this qa acearo core but all I hear is the autism talking. There is something intently funny to me about the idea that he stright up was dating a male sided demon and is like but am I gay. It's very conservative up bring of him very relatable. But seriously if he was ace aro he'd just lean into being superior not what ever this is.

Bill ( he wouldn't escape me)

Same thing yeah he wax poetic about chemicals witch yeah is something ace aros do but also like incels.

He literally is just asking dear not to ask him out a real problem when every freak reading this book wants to make out with him sorry Bill your hot shit.

The book is shaking you by the shoulders begging you to tell that he's lieing for clout. Bill is also begging you to take him seriously and he can't be serious if he can't even get any becuse he's a unlikeable losser.

Like I'm sorry guys the text just dosnt suport these 2 being acearo this is not the show for ace aro rep I'm sorry. This show is actually really really really obsessed with romantic relationships it's a well Alex keeps going back to witch is why I'm so sure about stanly becuse he's like the one character who actively rejects dating instead of just saying he's into into it. ITS GRAVITY FALLS EVERYONES A FUCKING LIAR.

[yanderepuck]

@lulu-the-smol-floof and I spent like 2 hours talking about the religions the guys were, so we looked it all up just to be sure. There are so many more arguments happening

Napoleon: was baptized into the Catholic faith as a child, however, he never became engrossed in the faith

Mozart: Catholic (and fairly religious)

Leonardo: more than likely Catholic. He referred to God as a supreme being. Could also be called a spiritual metaphysician.

Vincent: Protestant (father was priest, also nearly was a priest)

Theo: Protestant (father was priest)

Arthur: Catholic turned atheist(after studying medicine) then got interested in the occult.

Isaac: Born into an Anglican family, by his thirties held a Christian faith. Saw worshipping Christ as God was idolatry, to him the fundamental sin.

Jean: Catholic

Will: Protestant

Dazai: Christian but in the way that God is a punisher (in game possibly more Shinto since we see him in shrines)

Comte: He believes...in something

Sebastian: atheist but superstitious

Vlad: Eastern Roman Orthodox Catholic (going off Vlad in Impaler)

Faust: Protestant (was banned from churches tho)

Charles: Catholic

Drake: Protestant

Galileo: Roman Catholic (supported the church and hoped the church would support him, spoiler alert: they didn't)

~~

Fun lil thoughts now

Jean and Mozart are the only ones who go to church every Sunday.

Because here Leonardo is a pureblood, I think that maybe for a hot moment he was religious but very quickly turned his back on that.

Theo is SOOOOO mad that the three he hates the most are the only other Protestants. He's stuck with Will Faust and Drake.

Will actually grew up in the Church of England, which was possibly more Roman Catholic but when you look at his writing it reflects Protestant more.

Best part is that Faust is Protestant but Vlad has him working in a Catholic church. Vlad doesn't know the difference. Faust gives all his sermons in German and they aren't even sermons. He just bitches about this and gives out recipes, but Mozart is literally the only one who knows

Faust: I fucking hate this city. It's so dirty

Mozart: he's so right

Now bc they lean into Drake being more of a pirate, I don't think this man has much religion to him. He sticks to the pirate code. But I feel like if you showed him a sign of God he'd believe you.

Okay so Dazai. When we first talked about this we couldn't really find anything (I was honestly doing a quick Google search, not a deep dive), so we said he's probably Shinto, at least in game since we see him in shrines in some cgs. @tako-cafe informed me that he was first communist (when growing up) and then Christian, but int he way that God is here to punish/torture us bc humans themselves are sin and cannot escape it.

Arthur went atheist once he discovered science basically.

Isaac is actually right with the idolizing thing. It's actually blasphemous to have depictions of Jesus on a cross, or having a place dedicated to God. But that part sort of got lost bc obvs churches don't want you to know that. Also, he's just a god fearing man.

Isaac: going to church is a sin

Jean, across the room: ITS WHAT

That being said, Christmas Day, aka Isaac's birthday, Isaac and Arthur are the only ones at the mansion in the morning.

Dazai is going bc they have snacks. Sebastian is going because ..well.. we shouldn't trust them all to behave.

Back to Dazai. If we stick with him being Shinto, everyone in the mansion finds it weird as hell. Sebastian has to tell them that "no. This is actually the religion, not just weird things Dazai does"

Meanwhile Dazai is like "I need to go feed the frogs goldfish so that we have good weather"

Oh? Comte? Yeah. He believes. In what? He believes

Also, keep in mind that even tho that most of them are Catholic, they are all from different countries and time periods where being Catholic meant different things.

[ktvsf]

boynextdoor receiving oral

legal line x gn!reader ♡ nsfw ; mdni! ; wc ; 700+

ahh it's my first time writing anything in the last 3 years i think sjsjshshs please let me know if you guys liked it or not!

sungho ; ahh sungho is the most loving and caring person ever, like i can never imagine him being even a little mean to you or going harder on you, he just doesn't want to hurt you but when you mentioned that you would love him to call you his stupid doll and fuck you like he's never before, he would be in utter shock; eyes flickering looking for any hesitation but when he saw none, his dick twitched in his pants at the image of you on all four, crying, not being able to form any clear sentence just because he's fucking you so good? let's just say that he would waste no time taking you to his bed and ripping all your clothes off of you but leaving your panties on cus you look cute.

riwoo ; I feel like riwoo would be a little shy at first, not that shy that he wouldn't even look at you but he would be a little embarrassed to make any louder noises other than quiet breaths and moans here and there. but that wouldn't last long, especially since in between sucking his dick clean, you would tell him how much you love to hear him enjoying himself, and that would send the poor boy into pure bliss, nearly finishing at that second. also please praise him after he finishes, make sure to say how good he is and how handsome he looks because I know this boy, out of all of them, would be in a very deep subspace to even think straight :((

jaehyun ; STOP because the way I need him is really concerning and it's not healthy for me :( anyways jaehyun getting his dick sucked? bro, he would be such a mess the second you put your tongue on his tip and your hands travelled on his bare hips and thighs. hands pushing your head to take him all, fingers tangled into your hair occasionally scratching your head, his body flexing every time his cock hits the back of your throat. he's a head pusher, and in the heat of the moment, he sometimes forgets how strong his hold on your head and hair can be but he never fails to apologize to you for hurting you in any way and even though you always tell him you don't mind being pushed and it doesn't hurt, he always makes up for it while going down on you, tracing his finger along your every curve, whispering how beautiful you look spread wide open just for him.

taesan ; he's handsome and he knows it and I do believe he has two moods while being sucked. one is soft taesannie who's not afraid to moan for you, tell you how pretty you are and how good your lips feel wrapped around his dick. he's literally so in love with you and he's gonna show it, making you stand up just so he can kiss your lips and wipe your tears, he literally looks at you with hearts in his eyes. but then, when he's stressed before an important award show or when he's angry at himself for making mistakes and not being able to write any good lyrics, he's gonna be a little mean to you, "fuck, keep going doll' his hand wouldn't leave your head also, "look at you baby, you love when I use you like this, huh?". when he's like that, sex would be a bit rougher and more aggressive but he won't forget to pamper you with kisses and cuddles after. after all, you're his babygirl so he wouldn't hurt you in any way.

leehan ; leehan is one cocky motherfucker, hands in your hair, small sighs and whimpers coming out of his mouth. at first, he would be, especially confident, saying how cute and pretty your mouth looks around his cock, but the longer you kept working on his tip, the more he couldn't believe how good you make him feel and all he could do was moan your name and whisper, the whole time, little incoherent sentences that only he could understand. overall, he didn't expect you to be this good, especially when we're talking about your guys' first time together, but you left him even more hot and bothered than before so you better prepare yourself for a long night. also imagine him looking down at you while smirking and thinking to himself how precious you are on your knees, mascara running down your cheeks and all this just for him

[rory-multifandom-mess]

i see you've gotten yourself into the rabbit hole that is the transformers franchise! So here's a simple question:

Out of all the iterations you've seen, who's your favorite Autobot and favorite Decepticon?

Oh my GOODDD. Give me a second to even remember all the iterations I’ve seen one second

Ok so MTMTE/LL, Prime, Rescue Bots and Rescue Bots Acadamy, Animated, and Armada. I’ll start with Animated because that was the first one I was introduced to.

~~~~

Tranformers: Animated - Favorite Autobot has definitely got to be Bumblebee, but Jazz is a close second. I see a lot of myself in that lil yellow guy— constantly being picked on for his height, self esteem issues that come off as over confidence, constantly wanting to prove himself— yeah that’s just me but in robot font. And much worse. Jazz being a close second is entirely because he was just really cool.

Now my favorite Decepticon from Animated is 1,000% Blitzwing. I fucking LOVED his german accent and his personality switch gimmick. I hope it’s not disrespectful to call it a gimmick, but like. If you watch the show it really is just a gimmick. You got the cold and calm one, usually the main face, the brute with all the anger in the world, and then the Batshit Crazy guy. He’s so incredibly silly. I love him.

(The rest under the cut, this is gonna get long)

~~~~

Tranformers: Prime - Favorite Autobot is EAAASILYY Smokescreen. How could you NOT like him??? His character arc is one of, if not THE, best in the whole series. He first joins the Autobots acting like a new cadet, arrogant and sloppy, but raring to fight and throw himself headfirst into battle. He was kind of rude to the others, but through experience and making mistakes, he begins to mature and apologizes when needed. He beats himself up when he makes mistakes, no matter how small (me too).

But then, at the end of season 2 and beginning of season 3 I think, he goes through something traumatic. Optimus, nearly dead, presents the matrix to him, saying that it was time for a new prime, and that prime was to be him. And like. You expect Smokescreen to take it. BUT HE DOESN’T. Instead he goes and brings the Forge of Solus Prime to Optimus and REVIVES HIM.

Smokescreen refuses the Matrix of Leadership, not because he was in denial about Optimus dying, but because he recognized that he wasn’t ready. He showed humility, something he hadn’t shown since he arrived, and he showed compassion. Like. Just. LOOK AT THIS CLIP FROM THE MOVIE.

Anyway. Smokescreen makes me ill. Moving on

My favorite Decepticon from Prime is Shockwave. For no good reason other than god he’s hot. His voice…. his walk….. he could eviscerate me and I’d thank him.

~~~~

MTMTE/LL - Now I would call this IDW but I don’t want to be misleading since I haven’t exactly read every single IDW comic in existence, so I’ll just stick to the story I read a lot. ANYWAY. Favorite autobot is Rung, obviously. Who do you think I am. Lovable psychiatrist who gets forgotten about a lot despite being these bots’ psychiatrist for like 6 centuries (RED ALERT). Anyway. And he has a ✨✨Dark Secret✨✨. Which is. The fact he is LITERALLY GOD. But it’s ok because he didn’t know it either. aND THEN HE DIES AND HIS FINAL WISH IS DON’T FORGET ME AND GUESS WHAT EVERYONE D- [gets shot]

Rung makes me ill.

First Aid is a close second. He also makes me ill. Lengthwise…… (<- obscure reference)

Favorite Decepticon… Is really hard to decide because there are so many good options in MTMTE/LL. I’ll pick two for this one, since they’re part of opposing groups within the Decepticons anyway. Those two are Fulcrum and Kaon.

Fulcrum is part of the Scavengers, along with Krok, Crankcase, Spinister, Misfire, and Flywheels. Though he like instantly dies. Anyway. I think I just really like his design and personality, since there really isn’t any arc with this guy. He’s just silly.

And then there’s Kaon, who is part of the D.J.D. (Decepticon Justice Division. To those who don’t know them, they’re a group of Decepticons lead by Tarn who go around the galaxy killing Decepticons who went rogue, awol, or just strayed up betrayed the Decepticon clause. And they don’t just. Bam dead, they torture their victims, killing them slowly and brutally.) He turns into an electric chair and I mostly like him because of his design and he seems like the silliest of the D.J.D. having that attachment with The Pet n’ all. No character arc to ramble about. I just like him.

~~~~

Transformers: Rescue Bots Academy - Favorite Autobot is Easy Peasy! That would be Hot Shot for mostly the same reasons as Animated Bee and Prime Smokescreen. I see A lot of myself in him, and his character arc is absolutely amazing. Basically the same as Smokescreen’s, except he doesn’t witness someone almost die LMAO

There aren't any Decepticons in RBA, but I will say my favorite of the teacher was Blades, which leads me to my next iteration!

~~~~

Transformers: Rescue Bots - Keep in mind, I'm still in the middle of watching this one, so I'm only up to season 2 episode... 4 or 5, I can't remember. Anyway. Favorite Autobot is Blades, as previously mentioned. He's just so silly, and I adore the fact he's such a huge Bumblebee fan. I love the idea of him, a helicopter, being scared of heights. Me too buddy, me too.

Again RB does not have any decepticons as far as I'm aware, and I hardly remember any of the villains.

~~~~

And lastly, Transformers: Armada - Much like RBA, my favorite Autobot in this whole 4 season long series was Hot Shot. I don't remember his exact character arc since it's been a year since I started watching the show, but I do remember I liked it a lot. He was silly and goofy and, much like Smokescreen, matured over time. Oh, and also GODDAMNIT HIS VOICE. It's so soft and adorable and everything but when he yells oh BOY does he YELL. That shit gets GRAVELLY and HOARSE. Oh and also he's voiced by Brent fuckign Miller, the same dude who voices Zane in Ninjago, so... You can say I'm biased because Zane is my favorite ninja.

And as for favorite Decepticon, though he doesn't end up actually being a Decepticon but he is still an antagonist so I'm counting it anyway, is Sideways. And it's entirely because of his voice because I don't remember what he was like before season 4. IT'S SO FUCKING HOT PLEASE HEAR ME OUT ON THIS.

Also, he's voiced by the same guy who voices Sensei Wu also in Ninjago. Take that as you will.

~~~~

I LOVE RAMBLING!!! WOOOO. Anyway uuh. Here's a long answer to a simple question. Enjoy.

[godlytemperance]

npmd headcanons because my brain is rotted <3 <3

heehee hoohoo i am rotating the entirety of hatchetfield in my brain

im updating this as i think of more stuff so bear with me if this gets stupidly long

richie has audhd. i know this because he is me i am him we are EACH OTHER /j

ruth and richie met in the anime section of barnes and noble in middle school and nearly screamed when they realized they were going to the same high school later on

steph is lactose intolerant and is not brave about it ever. tries to share a hot chocolate with pete and spends the next three hours miserable

grace is doomed to kill in every timeline but it can be prevented by her best friends keeping her too occupied with mundane nonsense for her to find a gun

richie has so much tboy cringe energy. that man kins sasuke you cannot tell me i'm wrong

i have hit them all with my transgender and gay beam >:3c they're the friend group that hit their gender and sexuality realizations in waves. someone's egg cracked first (richie) and it set off a chain reaction

pete is genderfluid and usually presents masc (he/they)

bi with no strong preference either way

only recently began to dabble with femininity in his gender presentation

steph is gnc transmasc (he/she, used interchangeably)

bi with a masc preference

no matter who you are, if you have a crush on steph, you're gay. them's the rules pal

richie is transmasc (he/it)

aroace spectrum! he's demi on both ends, fluctuates pretty often.

somehow incredibly perceptive to romance unless it directly involves him, then he's as dense as a brick

ruth is a girlthing because she's swag like that (she/it/they)

pan with a fem preference

her preferred type is pathetic mascs and intimidating fems

grace is fem-presenting nonbinary (she/they)

formerly closeted lesbian

had the WORST case of comphet until she realized she didn't necessarily have to be attracted to MEN to be attracted to masculinity :3

max is transfem (she/he)

she's a butch lesbian!!! she doesn't feel pressured to be hyper-feminine after realizing she's trans, because she's already pretty happy with her outward presentation

saw all her new friends going through their various gender and sexuality realizations and is just "i hope this doesn't awaken anything in me :)" (it did)

OH also paul is richie's uncle! richie's dad is paul's older brother. they don't interact much but it is literally Autism to Autism

if the group were to fall victim to any of the Lords in Black, it'd probably be as follows:

max - wiggly. rage hatred biting nightmare nightmare >:3

steph - nibbly. he's got the closest ties to the CotSC and also we need more nibbly rep

pete - tinky. duh. probs gets trapped in the box in timelines where steph dies before him and he desperately wants to bring her back

richie - blinky. idk it's just vibes to me. he seems like the kind of guy to go nuts for eye symbolism

ruth - pokey. she's a theater kid and i think that pokey would have a field day shoving her into the fucked up and evil spotlight

grace - all of them. they take turns babysitting her in various timelines. she is their favorite child

richie 100% uses anime terminology to describe normal ass situations. he calls steph a tsundere once and steph has to act like her world wasn't just shifted two inches to the left for the rest of the day

oh also in redemption timelines they have movie / bingewatch nights!! they cycle between everyone's favorite shows or films. it's the best part of their week every single time

max was cast as a leading role the one and only time she ever auditioned for theater and it freaked her out so much that she declined the role

richie's hair is Like That because he tried to get the cool anime spiky hairstyle to work for him (it didn't) (he doesn't realize this until college)

pete was a greek mythology girlie i just know this. something about him screams "i read percy jackson way too much as a kid"

also grace hand embroiders all her clothes as a hobby! (this is semi-canon, since she has embroidered strawberries on the cuffs of her jeans in the show)

the first time steph smoked ouid, he made the mistake of using cbd oil and a pipe at the same time. man was in SPACE

all of them are poly with each other but at different levels:

steph and pete are Dating dating. so are max and grace. wholesome yaoi VS toxic yuri

ruth and steph are almost definitely "best friends" in the historical sense

richie and ruth are qpp. if they were both 100% straight they'd probably be the most annoying couple in the world

pete and richie kiss sometimes but its genuinely platonic for them. just bros being bros

ruth and pete are friends to ??? to lovers to friends who cuddle sometimes

richie and steph are polar opposites but they love each other to death. black cat and orange cat kind of relationship

max and grace barely intersect with the nerds but they still consider all four of them to be part of their weird situationship

(grace definitely experimented with all four of them, with max's permission. just to be Sure. y'know.)

max is doing her best to make amends with the nerds but it is very slow going. she has gotten to casual fistbump level with them though!

the nerds usually just look at max and grace from the sidelines like they're watching two wild beasts circling each other in their enclosure. their flirting is NOT rated pg

richie unintentionally dropped the fact that he has a fursuit - a timberwolf, because i'm projecting - and ended up helping everyone design their fursonas. pete is a traditional chimera (goat, snake, and lion), steph is a plain black cat, ruth is a flemish giant rabbit (she did research), grace is a sheep, and max is a checkered-tail nighthawk.

any time that the group gets spam calls, all they have to do is hand the phone to ruth and they get taken off the lists the moment she speaks. ruth was frustrated by it at first but it became a game of "how many companies can i inconvenience before they stop calling hatchetfield numbers entirely"

steph braided pete's hair once and he damn near proposed on the spot

ruth knows how to sew (from doing tech) and helps teach max how to mend her clothes! max ends up being really good at it! she goes on to teach the entire football team how to fix their uniforms and ruth ends up being the honorary team favorite for at least a year

im taking jon matteson's "richie should have blue hair in a movie version of NPMD" and fucking sprinting with it. he dyes his hair at least once a year and it's a wildly different color every time

ruth is the kind of gal to love games with lots of violence because it makes her feel like a badass vigilante (she can barely do a push-up in real life) (just like me)

steph is deeply afraid of large bodies of water. major L on his part seeing as he lives on a fucking island

bouncing off of the above hc, pete's afraid of planes. these two can't travel out of hatchetfield without one of them nearly shaking out of their own skin

max doesn't actually like football that much. she's REALLY good at it, yeah, but she'd prefer to play most other sports even if she isn't good at them! she likes the challenge of doing something she won't automatically win!

grace probably writes lists of things to keep everything in order. she's got lists of all her favorite foods, a checklist of daily chores, etc etc (it's also because she's got undiagnosed autism and she functions better when she has a Routine)

no matter what, pete will always stop and talk to the homeless man downtown. he doesn't really know why, though. (ted wishes he could say something to pete, but he never does. best to keep him at arms length.)

ruth really really really reeaaaally wants to cosplay but she's nervous that she'll be deemed as the "cringy weirdo" by other con-goers. she eventually admits this to richie, who rallies the group into a group cosplay for moral support

it takes a lot of debate for them to find a fandom they all want to cosplay from. they settled on FNAF, specifically security breach bc it's Timely (they go to the con in 2022)

pete is glamrock freddy, steph is monty, ruth is glamrock chica, and max is roxy!

richie was glamrock bonnie and he gets so mad when the official design comes out a year later bc it was completely different than what he imagined

grace eventually agrees to dress up as vanessa (she never played the games) (she thinks the pizzaplex is a real animatronic mall) (everyone they meet thinks she's method acting)

they end up crashing at ruth's place absolutely DRAINED. they all have imprints on their arms from carrying around an absurd amount of merch. pete nearly started a fistfight in the parking lot with a bakugo cosplayer. max nearly finished it.

they all agreed that it was one of the best things they've ever done and also to Never Do It Again

richie had a brief phase where he was obsessed with black butler and he regrets it to this day

grace and max both have scary dog energy but in different directions. max (post-transition) looks really intimidating at first glance but she's got golden retriever energy. grace will stare at you with the scariest fucking eyes if you're mean to retail employees

steph has always wanted a pet, but her dad never allowed it. when he moves out and gets an apartment with the nerds, they all agree to rescue a pair of bonded cats for his birthday. steph doesn't stop crying for at least an hour

steph and pete named one of the cats, while ruth and richie picked the other one's name.

Mittens is the Lautski baby, a black and white girlie who is incapable of mischief. she's like the disney ideal of a cat. she's a cuddle monster and will be so sad if you have to get up and do things without her

ruth and richie are the proud coparents of Sir Jotaro Gooberton (the Third). he is the most stupid tabby you will ever meet in your life and he has made the crime rate in the household go up tenfold.

a very common Lautski date night is going to the candle section of walmart and just sniffing every single one of those bad boys until they get a headache

[babiebom]

Stardew Characters as Euphoria Chatacters

A/N: I have been sick for the last couple of days but I turn 24 tomorrow!! So here’s a lil something from me <3 also a disclaimer I have not watched this show outside of edits and crack compilations so it might not be accurate lmao. Also also it’s not everyone just who I can see in the main roles that I know?? Also also also I would like to write something like euphoria for stardew but I think I gotta get finished with when you fall first and I’m not even nearly done with that because idk how I want it to end yet.

Tw:cursing, mentions of cheating, fighting, betrayal, euphoria things I guess?

Bc: at least 2-4 for each hopefully?

Stardew Masterlist

Haley-Maddy Perez

The hot popular girl who everyone either likes or fears or wants to be. Like we all know that Haley is kinda a bitch when you first meet her but she’s actually super sweet when you get to know her. And what I know of Maddy is that she looks put together but I’m pretty sure she has problems and while she looks like a mean girl she’s actually kinda sweet and funny. She’s in a toxic relationship because that’s what she thinks she deserves and will end up with. That sweet, pure, long lasting love isn’t something that she thinks she’ll ever get, and is something that she acknowledges won’t be enough for her in the long run even if it’s what she secretly wants.

All she really cares about is her friends, her family, and it used to be her boyfriend because yeah he was her future but that’s done with now. So she tries to focus on what’s to come. And unlike a lot of others, she’s more chill about people’s wrongdoings, like yeah you kinda pissed her off but that happens(as long as it isn’t betrayal) like oh you relapsed? That’s okay it happens sometimes babe, you’re more than just a drug addict and don’t you forget that. Sure she’s gonna go off the deep end eventually, but you don’t deserve that so remember she’s here for you and get yourself together.

Like yeah shes pretty and walks around as if she owns the place but really shes going through something fucked up with her ex who does seem to actually want to let her go despite not actually behaving as if he loves her. And sure she loves him, but she decided to walk away from the relationship for a reason so why is she sleeping with him again? Is it because he uses sweet words? Is it because she believes this is all she’s ever going to get? Maybe it’s the way he makes promises of the future like getting married and having kids while hurting her that makes her want to get back with him. But nevertheless she’s trying hard to stay away from him, to move on and learn to actually love herself and grow. Him basically threatening her life was enough for her, she knows that she deserves toxicity(does she tho?) but there’s a line that you do not cross and hopefully she learns what it is before it’s too late.

Penny-Cassie Howard

While Penny is a wholesome girl, I do think there is an underlying potential in how passive aggressive and fake she could be. Like yes Haley is the stereotypical popular girl, but if we look closely Penny seems like the girl who isn’t actually a girls girl but is a pick me that pretends that she’s so nice and friendly. Like is Penny actually like that? No but we are strictly speaking in what could be and who has the potential for what.

Like i can see Penny in high school changing herself for whatever guy she has her eyes set on, and falling in love with literally any guy that gives her the time of day. And yeah she might go for guys that are slightly toxic but Penny has daddy issues and mommy issues so it’s not really surprising is it? I think Haley is who Penny wishes she could be. Pretty, has a bit of money, has a very attractive boyfriend that Penny has set her sights on.

Yeah Penny is being kinda self centered, but y’know it’s not her fault! She has this way of justifying her actions, no matter how stupid, or petty, or mean, or evil they may be. And no one would really expect that of her. Like she portrays herself as a sweet girls girl that could NEVER betray someone that she considers her best friend. Like even though her friend confided in her about how toxic her relationship was, and Penny goes after the boyfriend anyways she’s still not in the wrong there were other variables that had to do with her decision she promises!! She hides things and pretends and finds the thrill of trying to get his attention, acting as if nothing is going on, and still maintaining the friendships that she kinda has no value in other than wanting to seem likable by befriending these people.

Shes going to get what she wants. No matter what. AND she’s going to play the victim throughout. It’s going to take a lot for her to realize she messed up but what can you do? Like sad for her but sorta inevitable. She brought it upon herself.

Maru-Kat Hernandez

From what I’ve seen Kat gives off very insecure vibes. Like she could be smart(I honestly don’t know) she’s pretty, just just what people call “fat” and while being fat isn’t a bad thing I think it’s an insecurity for her especially because her friends are all skinny. And while Maru’s body is up for interpretation(I do think she’s a lil chubby bc it’s cute) I think she’d be insecure in terms of anything other than her intelligence. Like sure she’s not ugly but she doesn’t put effort into her appearance like her friends do. And that doesn’t really get her any attention, not the attention she wishes she got, and having a father like Demetrius doesn’t help anything.

I do think it would take something drastic to get Maru out of her shell similar to Kat, and I do also think she’d be a good friend, like NO do NOT fight her!! Let’s calm down!! Type of friend. I do see Maru having a glow up type thing and coming out of her shell, but the personality she comes into seems kinda fake and as if she’s trying to act like her friends instead of being her own thing.

Maru gives off very follower type vibes, and again I haven’t watched Euphoria, and Kat is very….follower-y like she’s always around Maddy and is trying to be confident like her but really she’s just insecure and fears rejection.

Abigail- Jules Vaughn

Abigail would totally be the mysterious person that catches everyone’s eye when she appears. I mean personally when I first played the game I thought she was VERY pretty(until she annoyed me bc 1 heart convos are dumb and I found out she was paired with seb lmao) and I’m pretty sure literally EVERYONE (other than some people) is attracted to Jules.

Like she’s hooking up with people, dating, just being a very entrancing person and I think Abby could fit the role if she was more into the mysterious sexy vibe instead of the gothic(?) gamer girl vibe y’know? Like she’s there for the drama and laughing at it and she’s trying to not be a part of it until she’s breaking up with someone or sleeping with someone she shouldn’t

Sorry hers is short I just think the others fit more.

Shane-Rue Bennett

Rue is a teenage drug addict that is struggling to get clean, and honestly probably doesn’t even really want to because of how many mental problems she’s burdened by. Like I looked it up very briefly but I saw OCD, severe anxiety disorder, I think BPD like there’s a lot going on in her mind along with I’m pretty sure her father being dead. I just think she’s straight up not having a good time and while getting clean might be a good idea and the best road to go down, the fact is getting high probably feels better and is easier to do in order to deal with her issues. Shane is the same unfortunately, he’s an alcoholic that is just taking every day one by one but not very well. He works in a dead end job and lives with his aunt in a small boring ass town that probably doesn’t take mental health seriously seeing as the other alcoholic in the town was the towns bus driver before she crashed, and when the bus gets fixed they give her back the job instead of getting both of them help. Like they supply them with the beer and everything because making money is better than trying to rid them of their habits, and literally Pam and Penny live in a shitty ass trailer when literally everyone else(other than Linus) live in a good ass house. Like these two are similar with the fact that they are STRUGGLING and most people just see them as addicts instead of people who need help.

I also think that Shane would cause a distraction to get away from everyone trying to help bc it is too much to deal with at one time, like Rue and calling Cassie out about sleeping with Nate in front of everyone then taking off. I do think that Shane could be a very good friend outside of his alcoholism and is willing to get help. Also from what I’ve seen Rue might be high but she doesn’t lie(maybe she does idk) and I think Shane would be the same. Like yeah he’s drunk af and wants to die and he’s a little sarcastic but he’s not going to lie to you at all.

Elliott- Lexi Howard

All I know about Lexi is that she’s a writer and made a whole play about whatever was going on around her without anyone knowing, then putting it into production with the school again without telling the people it’s about. Like she’s just watching and taking notes and I think it’s funny. Because I feel like it’s something Elliott would do.

Is he a part of the drama? Nope! He’s standing back and watching everything burn while thinking to himself that this novel is going to be an absolute masterpiece because real tragedies are better than ones you make up. Also I do think he gives off that he would fall for someone that is the complete opposite of him, like how Lexi falls for a drug dealer(?). Like yeah his love life has to be something out of a book too. Nothing plain for him.

Alex- Nate Jacobs

I think this is self explanatory? Like who else would be Nate? Sebastian? Sam? HARVEY? Let’s bffr

Like Alex would be a popular guy in school(is he popular? Nate I mean?) and honestly while I don’t think Alex would be toxic and abusive especially bc of his upbringing, but I can see an alternative universe where he was raised by his shitty dad and became shitty in response.

Like high school football player who is toxic towards women as a result of his fathers influence and is probably obsessed with his now ex girlfriend and is trying to find what he had with her(even if it was fucked up) with someone who wishes they were her.

Like does he love the new girlfriend? No. But does he like the ego boost he gets from her? Yes. Dating someone who is so willing to change themself for him in ways that he this is comical and a little sad makes him feel good and somewhat fills the void. Especially when that person will let him treat them whatever way he wants including breaking up with them and getting back and everything he’s going to stay with them(I mean more like keeping them close to him) because he knows that he needs something that takes his mind off of how much he actually hates himself.

[prettysymbiosis]

frank vs. russia

starting the episode in media res and the circular storytelling!! the writing in this episode is really good overall, just so clever and inventive and effective. go off megan

“you ARE ready. everything you need is already inside you” sunny is ready to do a gay, gay-ass love story you guys. the gays are already inside it

titling it frank vs. russia when that’s clearly the b-plot? because we’re burying the lead? because we’re telling lies???

the denny’s shirt…

“aren’t you like 60?” misogyny is so sad 😞

dennis ANYBODY can get a guy to bang them ONCE reynolds

everyone wants dennis’ help but who will help dennis? :(

when mac says “it’s VERY romantic” dennis literally smacks the counter like… yikes

“one day he will and it is going to be hot” - I choose to believe this means that rcg think old man yaoi is hot and they are excited to show it :)

sunnyblr university is producing so many brilliant scholars who understand the significance of the beads as a metaphor for queerness and whether the audience is in or out and how it doesn’t matter because the queerness is all the way in and as of this episode it’s been turned up to full blast and leads us to a resounding victory. I’m just rehashing what others have said but I wanted to make sure I include it with my notes from this episode because it really is such a central idea and yet one that can be so easily missed by someone who isn’t reading the show like this... ugh the duality of sunny will never cease to confound me

dee calling mac out like yes bitch get his ass!! (so to speak)

uncle fucking jack walks in saying “they dropped all those charges weeks ago” - playdate EW - “I don’t– I don’t have any ice cream” - “shut UP dude, that’s gross, man”

charlie is so PRECIOUS in his little outfit and glasses

is he schizophrenic? I wonder if that will come up again or if it was just a throwaway joke

violent heterosexual shushing from dennis

the backing track of the sinned system/date scene is “in the hall of the mountain king” and it’s just so fucking classic sunny and so perfect

how did mac show patrick that he needed his power? and how did he engage physically?? we need to know these things!!!

kaitlin’s whole performance in the date scene is so fucking good

“the person who made him feel powerful, but also powerless.” the macdennis of it all is truly overwhelming sometimes

 the person whose validation he’s been seeking his entire life :/

“it worked” jesus christ mac

“well yeah but listen, the dennis system is a system for getting a woman. this is a system for getting a man, and that’s why sinned is actually dennis backwards!!” when I first watched this episode I was high as balls and sick with anticipation and this whole bit nearly pushed me over the edge. I mean he basically just straight up says that it’s bad for him to like men (sin) after explaining a tried-and-true system for getting them???

and then mac and dee are like “what are the chances??” and dennis is like HIGH >:( because they don’t see it. they don’t see it even though it’s been plain as day the whole time :(

dennis: “I’m still buzzin from last night” 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

AND I HAVE TO BE WITH HIM oh baby boy I pray you will be

the nastiness in dennis’ voice when he says “well no, see, that’s the thing – johnny doesn’t love you. he doesn’t even like you.” glenn I’m scared of you

“they ARE my favorite” he wanted mac to realize :( and yes the crabs are deeply metaphorical

“yeah, because I AM johnny” “then who’s dennis?” “what do you mean?!” “well if you’re johnny, then who– who’s you?” one of the best sunny exchanges of all time!!!!!!!! I cannot overstate how much I love this dialogue. it just captures so much about them so succinctly go off megan!!!!!

“I can’t engage with you on this right now” great delivery rob, so funny

does dennis want to control frank like a pawn bc he felt like that’s what frank did to him? or he’s just frustrated at mac and wants a situation he feels in control of?

kaitlin’s “... yeah” when dennis asks if dee has more pills is just so funny I keep remembering it and laughing randomly

“we’re gonna need to turn the lights out.” GLENN I’M SCARED OF YOU

the POV Being Frank throwback! I love the tossing of the clothes and the blackness and the sound of the door, cool little sequence

charlie’s such a good cheerleader 🥹 his little point is so funny

do you ever wonder what danny devito might be doing with his career if he wasn’t pretending to be split in half by giant vibrating anal beads on it’s always sunny in philadelphia??

“you don’t have to do this” this one speaks for itself I think.

dennis and uncle jack, two sexual deviants having a laugh in the van :| (also the van situation is so classic sunny obvs)

mrs. mac saying “nice” god there are just so many hilarious little character beats in this episode

“I DON’T KNOW HOW ELSE TO TELL YOU!!!” :( what’s in the texts rcgm

macdennis fightin :)

the full-blast alarm sound effect just gets me every time like to me that is peak comedy

The Burning Heart by Survivor is kind of macdennis coded tbh… “It's a primitive clash venting years of frustrations / Bravely we hope against all hope / There is so much at stake” “Does the crowd understand?” “Though his body says ‘stop!’ his spirit cries ‘never!’ (omg) / Deep in our soul a quiet ember knows it's you against you” like sorry if this song was supposed to be for straight people but it’s not anymore

so there’s something there about what’s acceptable and going full blast. the mommy issues are now explicit. dennis is bisexual. and he chose to have a romantic and sexual relationship with mac while pretending to be someone else, to the point that mac was in love with this other version of him. and he was so mad mac didn’t realize that he actually played his hand and told him, and mac still couldn’t accept it, upsetting dennis further. wtf man these homos are INSANE

[clickclicklogin]

sick and tired of this fandom watering down characters like justin and alejandro as "hot men whose roles are nothing more than to look hot".

justin was a professional model when he first appeared on total drama. he was admired by the other contestants and used his looks to get further in the game, which was very evident in action.

i completely understand liking justin and/or alejandro for their looks, it's slightly part of the reason why i like them too, but there's also so much more to them than their looks.

in action, he found his "attraction" to be fading, as shown when lindsay, beth, and courtney don't fall for his charms. he's desperate to change that, which eventually led to his downfall when he tried to convince courtney to date him.

he was severely injured as a result from the fairy tale, and he left without anybody that cared for him and a modeling career destroyed. in the spy episode, it literally showed justin nearly having a breakdown from a cut/bruise (i forgot which was it, but i was a minor injury) and thinking his modeling career was over.

and when he got eliminated in action, nobody even said goodbye to him. the most that was given to him was a non-sympathetic wave of goodbye from courtney.

with alejandro, his backstory is more talked about, specifically in all stars.

in the episode where the hamsters and vultures have to wrestle opponents on the wheel, alejandro is forced to fight his brother, jose. he is clearly pissed as fuck by even being in jose's presence.

jose was known as the "better brother" by literally everyone. this caused alejandro to feel inferior to jose, and i'm pretty sure that's been that way ever since he was born.

in the final world tour episode, it is also said that alejandro hates being called "al" simply because jose calls him that. he hates it so much to the point he got owen eliminated because he called him al. he was distracted by cody in the finale because he kept calling alejandro "al", which just proves how much he hates the nickname.

i understand why people may like him for his looks, but it's so annoying how people just think of him as a handsome guy.

also, when alejandro got transferred into the celebrity manhunt robot by chris, nobody tried searching for him. not heather, not even his family. he was stuck like that, for like, what, a year? maybe even more? depending on the gap between world tour and revenge of the island.

he was alone, isolated from any human contact for more than a year...that is incredibly traumatizing and undeserved, no matter how much you hate him.

my point is, even though characters like justin and alejandro are meant to be attractive and use it to boost their placement in the game, they have so much more personality and backstory behind that.

thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[bittrlys]

THE GOOD

Viren and Harrow scene

CRAB SHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Young Viren

Viren selfcest (<- stream of consciousness note that I stand by, he needs to learn to love himself)

Aaravos and Viren had a baby <3 (I like that this twist about the child to save him only works for people who weren't already joking about this being their lovechild all last season)

The heavyhanded diaogue is lol but its nice to see Viren's internal journey ("DAD I'M FOLLOWING IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS" guys you really could have just shown that. But I guess Viren is literal even with his metaphors. I forgive him.)

Viren zoned the fuck out half the season still the best part of the show. But like I love the sense of crushing realization and weight of his thoughts. King of thinking <3

Nice to see Claudia also getting to do cool complicated things

Viren and Claudia literally carry the dramatic weight of the series on their shoulders -tm my friend

I appreciate that Terry continues to be down to clown

This blood elf assassin is hot ♥

I like the water elf design the coral horns are cool (and he looks like a Critical Role character)

I always love pirate towns so that's cool! And some brief actual intense stakes with the pirate captain.

Aaravos. FULL STOP. Like 10 lines of dialogue and he served with them all!

"If you see Claudia again tell her I said ..... hi" hahaa

THE BAD

The Rayllum (what was Callum even apologizing for?? Rayla just genuinely does not seem to like him.)

Janai immediately pivots in her belief because only villains are allowed to stick by their reasonable positions which oppose the desires of the main characters

Again, what changed Tidebound Tina's perspective and made her help them??? Characters will truly just change perspectives in a second if they're meant to be 'good' and not defy the main characters

Ezran is so entitled. Rayla is like oh this boat is a bad idea he's immediately like "WE NEED THAT ONE!" and then proceeds to get them all nearly murdered by pirates for some tadpoles and does not apologize at all.

That being said it seems the show just isn't that interested in Ezran or Rayla

Would it have killed them to include a scene showing why Rayla decides to show up and save the day in finale? She has no arc.

I understand the conclusion that Callum came to with ocean magic but I don't believe his process of getting there.

Can Janai do her damn job all she's ever shown doing is hanging out in her pyjamas pining and being in love. Tied with Zubeia who just hangs about talking about her husband and son all day.

THE UGLY

STOP WITH THIS DIVINE RIGHT OF KINGS SHIT (why would the Archdragon of the Ocean give a damn about a human ruler? But like Oh! We Have To Respect A King!)

They show up to the library with only FIVE HOURS TO SUNSET instead of idk camping outside the city until the next dawn and coming in then. And then leave directly at sunset instead of giving themselves like an hour of wiggle room. Unreal!

They can't even let these entitled main characters even THINK Amaya died for their arrogance Like they can't even feel guilt about it for five seconds.

What's the point of having a deus ex machina dragon you insert in every scene to save their asses (god I need Zubeia dead) if she's just going to stand there and do literally nothing while Amaya is attacked. Rewatch that scene camera never cuts to Zubeia's face to even show her idk considering it? Being unable to help? Just get rid of this dragon already she weakens the plot to an absurd degree.

Zubeia surviving. Full stop.

Thunder killed off this group of elves for the crime of uhhhh doing weird blood rituals? Moonshadow elves (Thunder's personal hit squad) do blood rituals. Thunder just loves massacring any group of people who defy his tyranny.

It's surreal that Xadians NEVER comment on the humans in their midst like the show will not draw attention to the fact that humans are othered + marginalized. It perpetually feels like the writers are backtracking on lore they previously established because they don't want to make Xadians look bad.

Like I can believe a criminal port is full of all elements but this happens elsewhere in Xadia. Even the Archdragon of Ocean doesn't address the fact that Ezran is a human.

But it's not like the differences between humans and Xadians aren't noted because humans (like Amaya) still have to constantly grovel for Xadian approval + forgiveness. Like for WHAT. Should Amaya have to apologize to Rayla anymore than Rayla should apologize for coming to assassinate a 10-year-old Ezran in season 1?

for fucking tadpoles?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Callum, Rayla, and Ezran are UNSYMPATHETIC protagonists they literally will never face any consequences for any of their actions. Nothing really goes wrong for them -- they're always saved from trouble and they get everything ultimately handed them. They are supremely privileged, entitled people. Meanwhile Viren and Claudia go through 19 layers of hell just trying to get 1 thing done.

Overall I'd say it was better than season 4! 👍👍👍

[pulsedmaggot]

the humble proboscis ☣

kinktober day 1: morning sex/quickie | ship: joey jordison/corey taylor | words: 1,026 | warnings & tags: morning sex, oral sex, non penetrative sex, references/implications of sexual abuse, age gap relationship (wanyk!corey x post-iowa!joey) | summary: corey has a life to live, but joey can interrupt it as he sees fit.

for 18+ audiences only, minors dni - ao3

“Push me off, then.”

Joey smirks, much too proud of himself for rendering Corey speechless. A dusty rose is painted on his cheeks already, the shadows of Corey’s curtains allowing for a flick of light to capture his features. His jet black hair appears as a toasted brown as it swishes down his back. Corey can't stop himself from carding his fingers through it, watching those large unblinking eyes magnetize him closer, until Joey’s lips meet Corey’s chin.

Corey should have more of a say in whether or not he gets kissed like this, with a scene as picturesque as Joey, still lying nude and smiling on top of him, setting too many of his nerves alight and at ease all at once. He should get to say ‘fuck off, i need to brush my teeth’ at least once, or have enough spine to pick Joey up by the nape of his neck and toss him somewhere else. The little freak would like it too much, possibly take it as a game of hide-and-fuck. Not that Corey would typically judge something like that…

“You're literally hard.” Joey makes that rumbling honk noise he calls a laugh, then rests a palm over Corey’s pajama pants, devious fingers fondling the curve of his morning wood. “Just let me blow you, c’mon.”

“Do you actually wanna blow me. Be honest.” Corey deadpans, knowing how quick Joey was to pull off his dick mid-arrival, at times refusing to have any of Corey’s ‘remains’ left on him. Always trying to get Corey off in a million different ways at once, Joey tended to rush to meet a finish line that was in his sight only.

Joey’s hard to read, never the most open of books, typically saying what's on his mind at the moment instead of showing it through expressions and motions. Moreso now with no eyebrows; Corey feels like a delectable leaf in the pathway of a large bug as he waits for Joey to decide, in agonizingly long seconds, if he wants to commit to sucking him off. It shouldn't entice him as much as it does, but it does. Joey could delegate just about anything and Corey would lie back, enjoy the moment for what it is, forget about the things he has to take care and worry about later, later. Joey could also leave, get dressed, and leave Corey with balls bluer than Rigel. The uncertainty leaves him with a quiet fizz tickling its way up his stomach.

Corey drops his head onto his pillows when he realizes that the fizzing is actually Joey breathing over his happy trail. Decision made.

“I actually wanted to finger you.” Joey is already slinking back under the sheets, movements unsettlingly quiet, not nearly as unsettling as what he just propositioned. Then his tongue, a slithering deviant that thing was- always getting Corey into trouble- starts to lick. “You still had some lube left so I figured, y’know, why waste it? Plus I know you've never done it before. Always the finger-er, you are. My hands are small so it wouldn't hurt, like, too much, I don't think.”

Only Joey could maintain being equal parts cocktease and chatterbox before noon. Corey finds it in him to twist at a piece of Joey’s hair and pull.

“I have been.” Corey’s heart breaks in half at the sight of Joey stopping, his confused head tilt and squinted eyes too genuine for Corey to be wholly mad at, “It was-” he tucks the hair behind Joey’s ear, his teeth pulling at the inside of his cheek, then he exhales, playfully tugging at Joey’s earlobe, “not… great.”

A flash of a past night zaps him into silence; some guy- a hot guy, a guy that didn't deserve what Corey ended up dishing out- had barely even pushed past his fingernail before Corey started crying. Bubbling hysterics at first, then full on sobbing, then shouting… couldn't be a proper Corey-themed meltdown without shouting. Joey doesn't know about any of this, or the reason why it might've happened, but the lack of eye contact and slow nodding of his head looks like he might get the picture, if not the full metadata.

“Right, yeah.” big bug eyes stare back at him, darker than before, softer, as if the early morning finally caught up to Joey, “I mean, if anything, I could just-” before Corey can object and make the quickest possible dash towards a cold shower, his clothes are being taken off. Slowly, carefully, Joey is exposing him from below, leaving kisses over his thighs as he presses two fingers behind his balls, and that's-

“Oh, shit-” Corey goes lax, rolling his hips into Joey’s touch, a moan stretching all the way from his chest to the ceiling.

“Pretty good, right?” Joey’s tongue curls around them before venturing upwards, flicking off Corey’s flushed tip, “I used to have this one girl, a girlfriend I guess, and she would wanna peg me and shit, and I like taking it but not from a fake dick, ‘cuz it's all cylindrical. Pure rod all the way through, so it stretches me out kinda weird, probably because they haven't figured out how to put quality into strap-ons yet, or maybe she was fucking me weird, I dunno. I'd tell her to just do this instead. Feels like a fuck, but it isn't. Low effort, high reward kinda deal.”

“Put my dick in your mouth, Joe.” Corey is already panting through his nose, the angling of Joey’s fingers shooting pure pleasure up his spine.

“If you say so.”

Joey takes him in one go, Corey’s toes curling from all the angles of pleasure. He hadn't realized how pent up he was until Joey’s fingers started to make swirling motions, just teasing above his hole. Corey falls apart to this, groaning breathless up his hill and croaking Joey’s name at his climax. Joey is purely surgical, extending and retracting and bobbing his head in time with Corey’s pulse, so removed from what this means that Corey fully expects him to chew his head clean off after he wipes the corners of his mouth.

[sshbpodcast]

Bottom Five Star Trek ENT Episodes

by Ames

Everyone’s allowed to admit they’re wrong sometimes, and your hosts here at A Star to Steer Her By take back a lot of the credit we’ve given to Star Trek: Enterprise over the years. Guys, we’re sorry to say: it’s just not that good a show. And sure, there are a couple beacons of hope in the darkness, but as a full series it doesn’t capitalize on its merits nearly as often as it should, and the mixed messages can be frankly insulting.

From the terrible theme song, to the constant sexualization of T’Pol, to the strange characterization of its captain as just an angry angry man, to whatever the hell went horribly wrong with the third season, there’s a lot to turn your nose up at. So cringe along with us as we give the big thumbs down to the worst episodes of the show as you read along below and listen to our banter over on the podcast (jump to 1:32:58 for the series wrap) where guest star Liz provides some added flavor. It turns out we really didn’t have faith of the heart after all!

[images © CBS/Paramount]

“Bounty”: Caitlin While the A plot of this episode with the Tellarite bounty hunter is perfectly serviceable, it’s the B plot that warrants a place on this list. For no goddamn reason, T’Pol is going through pon farr, a plot device we’ve been railing against for years. Okay, there was a reason after all: to sexually exploit T’Pol as this show is wont to do as much as it can get away with. It’s just disgusting how much Enterprise makes Jolene Blalock run around in her underwear just to titillate the teenage boys they really wanted to appeal to.

“Carpenter Street”: Jake What a waste of time. Literally! It may not have specifically made our worst time travel stories list, but it’s definitely pointless to force us to watch such a boring and convoluted romp around present-day Detroit to stop some Xindi from something or other. Really, anything in the Temporal Cold War arc is a hot mess. And combining that with the Xindi War makes it all the more baffling. Further, opting to bring T’Pol of all people back in time is a terrible decision, Archer. You’re lucky you have plot immunity, cap’n.

“Damage”: Chris “I’m about to step over a line, a line I thought I would never cross. And given the nature of our mission, it probably won’t be the last,” says Archer, nineteen episodes into season three. After he has not only crossed the line countless times, but shat on it and did a little jig. In the shit. So claiming that it’s not until he steals a warp coil from the Illyrians that he’s crossed the line is just blatant hypocrisy. Oh, and this is also the episode where we learn T’Pol is a drug addict for purely illogical reasons. What a shitshow.

“Harbinger”: Ames Oh hey, you know what was one of the previous horrible things Archer did before “Damage” but apparently didn’t count as “crossing the line”? Torturing a random sphere builder he found even though he had no proof this guy was bad. At fucking all. And there’s more shit to this episode! It’s got Reed being a big baby because he unfoundedly thinks Hayes wants his job. It’s got T’Pol being a big baby because she thinks Trip might like Amanda Cole instead of her. Everyone’s just a big baby this episode!

“Cogenitor”: Chris Frequently, Enterprise gets the ethical lesson you’d expect out of a Star Trek episode entirely backwards. This is one of those times. Trip spends the episode standing up for an oppressed person who has requested sanctuary, but Archer doesn’t want to risk the new best friendship he’s made with their people, so he throws Charles back to the wolves where they inevitably kill themself. And somehow Trip is supposed to be the baddie? Not Archer, who doesn’t even feel guilty? What message are we trying to send?

“Dear Doctor”: Ames Oh look, another time Enterprise puts its ethics on backwards and inside out. This utterly infuriating episode turns Archer and Phlox into genocidal monsters who then pat themselves on the back afterwards for handling the situation so diplomatically. Phlox should be ashamed of himself for being a doctor who spreads misinformation about how evolution works, and when Archer tries to question him, convinces the captain of his deplorably bad science. He HAS the cure, and refuses to save an entire race. It’s vomit inducing.

“Broken Bow”: Caitlin The whole series starts off on the wrong foot with a pilot episode that’s just a hot mess. The plot is almost unfollowable because there are just so many elements to keep track of. None of them interesting. In the very first few scenes alone: the time travel nonsense is just confounding; with maybe the exception of Trip, none of the characters holds our attention; and when we’re not confused by whatever’s going on, we’re just bored, which is a huge sin for a series premiere.

“Precious Cargo”: Caitlin, Jake We start seeing some overlap from your hosts in the episodes that are truly truly terrible. This disgusting retread of “The Perfect Mate,” which was disgusting enough on its own, is further tainted by some really shoddy acting from our First Monarch, a laughable portrayal of Archer and T’Pol incompetently playing good cop / bad cop, and a romance subplot so forced that we couldn’t even enjoy watching two very pretty people going to town on each other because we were rolling our eyes too hard!

“Hatchery”: Ames, Caitlin Don’t worry, we have more bad ethics the show is spouting to go through before the end of this list! For a hot second, it seems like Archer is doing the right thing and trying to save Insectoid hatchlings because it’s the moral thing to do, even in war, and everyone else is wrong to mutiny against him. But we should not have had that level of faith in this show. Instead, Archer’s mind has been manipulated by some goo or other, of course! He was wrong to want to save innocent babies! And he’s the hero of this show, FFS.

“These Are the Voyages…”: Caitlin, Chris, Jake The taste the show leaves in your mouth, when all is said and done, is whatever Chef Riker cooked up in the unexpected series finale. Making the last episode a de facto TNG episode is the wrong choice, as it strips away the ownership of the show from the actual characters as if punishing them for being bad. In fact, they don’t even technically appear in the finale at all because they’re a program on the holodeck! And to kill off Trip – the fan favorite character! – so unceremoniously! Did they hate their own fans?

“Fusion”: Ames, Chris, Jake Like Deanna Troi and Seven of Nine before her, T’Pol gets to get violated for the sake of an episode – and a bad episode at that! We’re already pretty sick of watching the women characters have their agency stripped away all the time because the story tells them so. So to watch the usually strong-willed science officer forced out of her comfort zone and used as a plaything by the worst Vulcan we’ve met (redemption for Vorik, I guess?) is just torture to watch. And the asshole sees no consequences either! Ugh!

“Bound”: Ames, Chris, Jake Like in DS9’s “Profit and Lace,” an attempt to seem progressive backfires so abysmally that we’re appalled by its tone deafness. It’s okay that Orion women are enslaved as sex workers because they’re secretly in charge! The episode treats that perplexing retcon like it’s female empowerment, while simultaneously turning all the men into drooling idiots whenever a woman is around. And unlike TAS’s “The Lorelei Signal,” the women crew members don’t even take charge. Trip does! What a slap in the tits.

—

See also: our Top Five Star Trek Enterprise Episodes list. And if you want more: here’re all the past seasonal tops and bottoms from seasons 1, 2, 3, and 4!

Well folks, it’s been a long road, but we’re finally done with Enterprise. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to move on to anything but this, even if that means slogging through the Abramsverse and the streaming era. But at least those shows reward war crimes slightly less. So keep your ears on SoundCloud or whatever podcast platform you like, talk to us through our universal translator on Facebook and Twitter, and go where your heart will take you!

[navree]

I've always joked to myself that Luke's biggest offense (aside from the obvious) was that he was boring, but I've never seen anyone else outwardly say it with such conviction. You're a braver person than me! 👍

Oh I've been on the "Luke is boring" train since the show was airing, it's just an objective fact. Luke suffers from something a lot of characters on the show suffer from, which is that the show tried to cram way too much into one ten episode season of television and as such a lot of character writing suffered, especially on the Blacks' side (nearly all Blacks side characters are severely underdeveloped except for Rhaenys and Corlys, who have the distinction of being somewhat schizophrenic). Luke does nothing notable for episode six, nothing notable for episode seven until he maims Luke, nothing notable for episode eight, he's not even in episode nine, and then in episode ten he dies. That's why the scenes he's in during episode ten feel as clunky and bad as they do, they sat down to write the finale, realized that there was no reason for people to care at all when Vhagar munches him, and so we got those random scenes to try and bolster his connection with Rhaenyra and show that he's The Goodest Boy to try and shoehorn in any reason for the audience to care. And be honestly people, did you feel sad when Luke died because Luke as a character is now gone and we'll lose him forever, like we did when Robb and Catelyn died, or are you just sad because he's fourteen and it made Rhaenyra sad and you like Rhaenyra? It's the latter.

(it's also why Lucemond is so popular, because Luke is such a nothing character he's basically a blank slate that a bunch of people can project themselves onto and thus be casted in whatever role they want him to be as a self-insert because Aemond is hot and you can't do that with any other character Aemond interacts with, because they've all got personalities that can't be subsumed the way you can with Luke because he's got no personality)

This is a problem that plagues Jacaerys and Baela and Rhaena as well (seriously, please name me three character traits for Baela and Rhaena separately, I can barely name three for the two of them combined you could literally replace them with lamps and nothing changes it's so bad), but because they're gonna be in the show longer, there's more of a chance to fix it. Luke only being around for four episodes, doing fuck all for most of his appearances, and being defined by "guy who caused grievous bodily harm in a fight he shouldn't have been involved in due to the fact that the opposite side did nothing wrong and then refused to ever even show contrition for it" and then promptly dying means that there's no chance to expand his character the way Jace and Baela and Rhaena can potentially get (and I highly doubt Baela and Rhaena are gonna get much expansion tbf), so we're stuck with the most boring boy. He's a plank of wood, he's nothing, he means nothing to me except that sometimes I think about how difficult the recovery period for literally losing an eye must have been for Aemond on so many levels and I think that Vhagar went too easy on his boring ass.

And it's my blog so I can say what I want and I will bear this cross for you and those like you anon, I will proudly call Lucerys Velaryon a piece of cardboard.

[casliveblog]

Custom Toonami Block Week 197 Rundown

The Witch from Mercury: It’s the finale and ho boy is it a humdinger. In the aftermath of Starkiller Base firing at the Death Star the Aerial’s nearly destroyed and Suletta basically passes out in the cockpit of her suit from Gundam Soul-Sucking Sickness. Miorine’s group is captured by Prospera’s forces even though they literally have their boss at gunpoint and told to give them back Aerial so they can re-activate the plant (I mean it was at full power when the sun laser hit it and Eri barely survived so idk what you think another try is gonna do) Miorine just says “Oh don’t worry, Suletta’s a shonen-style protagonist, she’ll come to protect her family damn the costs any minute now” which is kind of a marvelous bit of character knowledge on her part. Prospera wants Suletta to plug Eri back up and Suletta actually disobeys her mother for the first time, not wanting two superweapons to duke it out and end up losing her whole family, even if Prospera admits she’ll lose control of her legs soon and was planning to die here anyway. Miorine makes one last big speech since that’s kind of her thing and announces that she’s dissolving the group and going with Shaddiq’s idea to give everything to Earth and let the individual companies basically run themselves, meaning Quiet Zero no longer has a shadowy pseudo-government behind it and Shaddiq takes the wrap for all the terrorism. Too bad the dickwad with the punchable face on Starkiller Base is like “cool story, gonna blow it up anyway”. Suletta then connects HERSELF to Quiet Zero and with the help of Ghost!Fake!Ceres #1 manages to dive deep enough into Gundam code to find the NewType Wave ghost control sphere which not only lets her shoot Quiet Zero’s control powers out to Starkiller Base, she also manages to bring everyone that’s died around so all the mournful characters can look wistfully at them and come to some form of acceptance. I’m not sure how this makes any logical sense since Ghost!Ceres says he’s only there as a remnant of being made there like Eri and everybody else just kinda shows up but given 1. The intention of Quiet Zero was to make a physical space for someone that’s half dead already and 2. It’s really just kinda cool and thematically resonant, I’ll allow it. Prospera gets to make up with Eri and apologize to Suletta and Suletta gets to struggle with the fact that she peaked in high school and was a deity for five minutes so what the fuck can she do now. Still we get an epilogue where everyone’s doing good, Eri’s in Miorine’s Siri device, Guel’s running his company while his brother and Petra have generic ending farm land with her testing medical prosthetics for her injuries, Secilia somehow got even MORE hot as a sexy businesswoman, Nika went to fucking jail but it’s okay since she’s back in school and got a good job. Chuchu became a space dockworker, Shaddiq’s still in fucking jail and Miorine is doing her best to mediate the still fresh tensions with Earth while Suletta follows her dream of both being married to Miorine and building a school, so basically the best ending, literally no one fucking died, like all the death flags in the world for some of these characters and this time just this once everybody lives.

Ranma ½: Ranma’s currently having existential crisis about a guy having a crush on him, meanwhile Kuno’s determined to pull a full Inuyasha and string along two girls at once, buying pics of both of them from Nabiki. No one just comes out and tells him the girl is Ranma and they keep stringing him along with metaphors and stuff so he keeps getting the wrong idea or just has a mental block where he refuses to accept it. Ranma ends up literally walking all over Kuno and beating him though getting some injuries in the process, and even more damage when Akane finds him with the pics and claims he’s hotter than her anyway (I mean to be fair the pics of Akane are just cute candid shots and Ranma’s are legit her with her tits out so yeah). They take him to Dr. Tofu (still can’t fucking believe that’s his name) and I like how he can seemingly tell which wounds Akane inflicts like an artist admiring a work of art except the art is someone’s broken body. He also apparently ships Ranma and Akane and orchestrates her carrying him home on their way back which is kinda nice since a lot of the gags in this show kinda work on Rule of Funny and end up being random for the sake of it but this one was a planned romantic moment. The next day the boys all claim they won’t fight Akane anymore since Kuno got his has beat so what chance do they have, but like Akane beat all their asses EVERY DAY and that meant nothing, guess she never beat Kuno until now so it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Shenanigans ensue and Akane ends up hurting Ranma again and she reveals that she doesn’t want anyone to know about her crush on the doctor because he has a crush on her sister Kasumi and has a gag of acting extra stupid whenever he’s around her, I mean he’s also like twice Akane’s age so that’s probably for the best but that always stings all the same. Still with Akane frustrated, Ranma does his best to cheer her up and it works to an extent but given their dynamic it doesn’t last long. Bro literally tells the doctor he doesn’t go out of his way to pick fights with her and then every word he says to her is just a random unprompted insult, like you can’t really be too mad about half the jokes being about him getting beat up when he just comes out the gate with constant insults about her appearance for literally no reason.

Castlevania: It’s not quite the finale yet but this episode does mirror the original attack on Dracula in Season 2 and that’s pretty neat. Trevor and Sypha join Alucard in defending the castle and they don’t have time to explain how they got there so they’re just kinda like ‘hey bro, sup?’ and proceed to fight all the mooks in the world and I think Alucard killed Kratos? Anyway Varney reveals that he’s Death and forces Saint Germain to continue the ritual anyway, basically changing nothing. Still I had this spoiled for me about 2-3 weeks ago by an Overly Sarcastic Productions video and yet it is kinda obvious when you think about it, Death is one of the biggest characters in the franchise, they mentioned him a bunch early on and otherwise it’s just Trevor, Alucard and Sypha in a room doing the Jojo kicking meme on a cockney vampire and that’s not much of a series finale, if anything knowing it was coming made it slightly MORE effective since it didn’t feel like it was coming out of nowhere, one of the few times spoilers didn’t hurt. Anyway the group fights the Priests of Death and it’s a really cool fight mirroring the Court of Dracula fight in season 2 and showing how they cover for each other’s weaknesses and shit. They do the ritual and Alucard has to watch both of his parents’ screaming souls be wedged into a naked intersex meat puppet because he didn’t quite need enough therapy yet. They beat said meat puppet when Saint Germain does… something… that weakens the spell (like he didn’t bring the barrier down or anything he just kinda moved the portal to catch their souls again?) and Trevor throws the wet shuriken of death into the human transmutation before it can become the eighth deadly sin. Death is pissed and Trevor knows it’s the end of the series so he faces off against him on his own for some reason (like both Sypha and Alucard can fly, like granted Alucard’s going through some shit right now but the fight lasts long enough they should definitely be able to get over there) but he has a cool speech about how things that can only kill have no place left in this world and does some cool Attack on Titan shit to ram the Dagger Ex Machina into Death with a huge explosion. Like I’m sure there’s more lore for that dagger and shit in broader Castlevania context but for me it just looks like the “this is the only weapon that can kill him’ shit, still the fight’s so cool I can hardly complain.  

Dandadan: It’s time for the introduction of resident GILF Seiko, because every major series needs a big titty badass to throw shit around. She has an intro that kinda reminds me of the beginning of Beetlejuice 2 where she has a low-budget psychic show that’s not highly regarded despite her predictions all being real. She comes home and traps Granny!Okarun in an anti-Sea Bear circle to beat the shit out of the evil spirit within, ready to kill the kid thinking he’s just another tough-looking scumbag Momo’s dating. But for whatever reason she decides not to and just seals him into the shrine, still taking the opportunity to fuck with Momo about it a little bit. She then enforces a training arc on the two of them to get strong enough to chase Granny out of town and banish her on their own which conveniently she can’t help with because she too can’t function out of town (I mean I don’t get why she can’t help along the way but okay) still the timetable is moved up when an ill-fated bathroom visit has Granny reveal she can transfer death curses to whoever she looks at through Okarun’s eyes (also side tangent but how does Okarun pee without his dick? Like they establish the bathroom visit is so he can poop but I imagine peeing may be an issue, does his small intestine just stop absorbing the moisture and he has constant diarehhea or is it magic and his pee just goes to his dick spiritually and he pees without peeing? I’m probably thinking about this too much but it is a central conceit of the show to be fair) but yeah now they don’t have time to get past their base powerset and have to do the confrontation right now at the place where she’s her strongest back at the tunnel where she fused with the tunnel spirit that was already there. Seiko gives Momo an emotional goodbye and some spiritual armor to help them which Momo quickly discards, still they get on the train and I get Momo’s logic of saving stamina by not walking and Okarun’s armor does block his eyes but it seems like a bad idea to have him walk into a crowded place when we’ve established Granny can curse people by looking at them with his eyes, idk maybe I’m worried over nothing but they seem to be going into this half-cocked and without half of their safeguards.

Gleipnir: With their baptismal conflict done, the duo decide to get some practice in with what has to be the darkest version of Ratatouille, turns out Shuichi can still move while Claire’s piloting him but Claire kinda has a movement override like that scene of Maria inside Al in FMA. They go to look for Claire’s sister since it’s their only lead and try to bloodhound track her down with her old uniform and despite Claire’s hopes the scent reveals she’s killed a LOT of people. This isn’t a particularly subtle show but I do kinda like the way they show Claire’s opinion of her sister changing her whole personality, like calling her sister a slut for no reason and showing that before her family was murdered she dressed more conservatively and had her hair braided shows Claire’s probably projecting a weird amount of purity bullshit and processing her damaged self-image and shattered view of her sister with outward promiscuity-signaling while taking pride in being a virgin, it’s a lot of fucked up shit and I don’t love the implications of some of it but it’s an interesting character dynamic for a show that’s 90% panty shots. The two hang out and have a date dynamic going with looking for Claire’s sister and eventually stumble right across her only to find out she has FMA Pride powers and can turn into shadow ash and shit but because she’s yandere for Shuichi she doesn’t even think twice about them shooting her (also a gun goes off in the middle of fucking Japan who the hell’s not noticing these gunshots in one of the most gun-regulated first world countries?). But yeah Claire’s main character syndrome kicks in and she thinks her sister can sense her inside Shuichi but really she’s just apologizing to Shuichi for turning him into a furry and fucking rips his mascot head off once she finds out another girl has been pegging him with her whole body. He’ll probably be fine since this is basically FNAF and he’s a springlock suit but it is a dramatic way to end an episode.   

Revolutionary Girl Utena: Utena’s kind of in a comatose state after losing to Touga and having Anthy move out. She takes Touga’s advice of ‘be a normal girl’ to the extreme and starts wearing the girl uniform and basically moping around like Smooth Normal Spongebob. Wakaba is a good friend and does everything she can to snap her out of it, even picking a fight with Touga and accidentally splashing Anhty. Meanwhile Touga’s gloating to the rest of the student council about having reached the endgame and the other two are sore losers for him getting there because of a Naraku-style plot so they’re just kinda grumpy. Even Anthy despite reverting to her blank slate personality still has lingering yearning for her time with Utena. After a lot of pushing, Wakaba finally tells Utena that normal isn’t normal for her and being weird is what makes Utena normal and if she’s not weird then she’s not normal and then gets through to Utena about how much of her true self she’s lost in her despair. She immediately goes to challenge Touga not just for Anthy but to reclaim the lost courage and boldness she gave up for the sake of normalcy and compliance, Juri even gives her a new sword to fight with so that’s pretty cool. Touga reveals he’s read the sacred texts and has Anthy do suggestive things to his waist-height sword to make the sword basically a lightsaber so he cuts right through Utena’s new sword and is about to win when Anthy’s lingering concern and wishes for Utena’s safety causes the power to leave him and the final clash results in Utena’s victory even with like one eighth of a blade left, how do these guys keep letting her get that close in a fencing match. Anyway Anthy’s back with Utena and Utena tells her to cut out the ceremonial crap and let them just go and hang out.

[rispwr]

Just watched family by choice episode 3 and 4, and here are my thoughts

Fuck sanha’s mom. Literally fuck her honestly, she made me so mad. Like you abused your

To haejun im lowkey pissed off at him. I hate how he would only start to take juwon’s side when sanha takes hers. I get he doesn’t have a mom or his mom abandoned him but that doesn’t give him the right to flip out on sanha everytime someones mom comes back, like what the fuck? Also his father ARGHVSHS FUCK HIM TOO😭 tho i love how he really thinks of jeong jae as his dad but in the next episode looks like his mom will come back so like what sanha said “once your mom comes back you can act whatever you want and I won’t interfere” so real. Tho i hope he doesn’t leave jeong jae cuz if he does then the 10 yrs of him raising him was a waste. He was basically an orphan, his father was never present in his life and his mom abandoned him and said “she’ll come back when she makes money”, left him to her sister who was in college, and jeong jae practically took him as his son. I LOVE jeong jae, he’s the best father ever😭 whatever happens he still love those kids and that will never ever change. Lowkey if haejuns mom and jeong jae starts liking each other romantically idk juwon’s prob gonna be happy cuz they’re family in paper but only haejun and her.

Ngl i giggle when sanha tells her that😭 that he doesn’t wanna be family like GIRL HE WANTS TO BE A DIFFERENT KIND OF FAMILY TO YOU😭 he wanna wife you up girl, they’re so cute actually im TWEAKING. I’m manifesting he doesn’t go to seoul cuz if he really does i am gonna shit my brains out wuddufug.

Tho i kinda feel bad for the 3 of them, no moms😭 i wonder if they also show juwons mom.

Oh oh!! I feel like there’s gonna be sonething more or side of juwon cuz she always shows her family she’s happy and stuff but never sad, she didn’t even tell them what the junho guy said (sanha looked so hot being jealous) and it’s like she doesn’t really care about what she feels and only the people around her, very selfless and idk im sobbing.

Jeong jae omygod😭 I AM SOBBING FOR HIM LOTERALLY. He LOVED. Those kids, more than their “parents” biological parents could ever. They could never have the same bond that they have with him and that will never change, he took haejun as his child even if they weren’t related, he took and loved sanha too aswell as sanha’s dad ( their friendship is so cute) all that while also balancing his love for juwon and that’s a talent. I mean yeah he also has dae wook but loving all of them equally not having a favourite is a talent. Look not judging my mom or anything but she practicallygave me what i needed to live, a roof, food and shit but ngl she only started to actually show her love to me after i nearly died in the icu during a coma😭 and that’s kinda what bothers me, idk i hate how she’s only doing it cuz of what happened to me.

In the chinese verson dal went from liking haejun to sanha apparently but idk how that will go😭

Anyways these are all just opinions😭

“ you can’t be family by blood but you can be by love”