#also i know the conversion to other currencies might be slightly different

[thefirstknife]

New Season Pass Prices

I'm seeing a lot of misinfo going around about this. YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY 20 FOR EVERY SEASON PASS GOING FORWARD. And please don't spend anything like that on a whim! I will include a full math breakdown of how much you need to spend depending on what you want to buy.

Please don't spread the misinfo online. Telling people that they need to cash out 20 for every new season pass is a lie. When this lie is corrected and a more reasonable explanation is given, people will feel like the actual pricing is more reasonable and will not be inclined to complain. We WANT people to complain. We want people to tell Bungie that we want to be able to purchase the exact amount of silver needed. If people stop complaining, this will never happen. But complaining with lies will not get us anywhere because they are lies. Our chances of making this happen are slim to begin with, we don't want to push people away from trying. We also don't want people to spend the wrong (extra) amount for no reason.

The math

The latest TWAB states the following:

Season Pass: 1,000 Silver -> 1,200 Silver Season Pass + 10 Ranks Bundle: 2,000 Silver -> 2,200 Silver

The current price of 1000 silver is $10/€10 (gonna be using $ only for simplicity, but it applies to euro as well. This is obviously different in different currencies but the rate should be comparatively the same). The current cost of a season pass is 1000 silver.

Going forward (starting with Season of the Deep), the cost of a season will be 1200 silver. This amounts to $12. The problem is that there is no 1200 silver bundle. Silver is available in the following bundles for these prices (same on all platforms):

500 silver = $4.99 1000 silver (+100) = $9.99 2000 silver (+300) = $19.99 3000 silver (+500) = $29.99 5000 silver (+1000) = $49.99

Please read under if you want a full breakdown of best combinations and how to pair these bundles for your needs without having to spend too much on something you don't need:

In order to buy a single season going forward, the minimum (and recommended) thing to buy would be to grab the 500 bundle and the 1000 bundle which amounts to $15. The 1000 silver bundle will also give you extra 100 silver so with this purchase of $15 you will have 1600 silver.

You will spend 1200 on one season which will leave you with 400 silver. If you do not spend any of this silver, this means that in order to buy more seasons, you only have to pay $10 for the 1100 pack. This means that if you buy Season of the Deep for $15, you will only have to spend $10 (same as you do now) for season 22. Thats $25 for two seasons, an increase of only $5 from how it is right now. Don't let people convince you that you have to give $40 for two seasons.

The full example for this specific scenario (buys Deep, wants to buy the next two seasons):

-Season of the Deep only = 15$ (500+1100 silver). You now have 1600 silver and the season costs 1200.

leftover silver = 400

-If you decide you want season 22, you will need = $10 (1100 silver). You now have 1500 silver and the season costs 1200.

leftover silver = 300

-If you decide you also want season 23 (final season this year), you will need = $10 (1100 silver). You now have 1400 silver and the season costs 1200.

leftover silver = 200

This means that you have spent $35 on three seasons, which until now would've cost you $30 (increase of $5). You also have a leftover of 200 for the future which means that the future season you want to purchase will also only cost you $10. So a single purchase of $15 will reduce the cost to $10 for four seasons with leftovers before you have to spend another $15.

Is it worth getting the more expensive bundles ($29.99 and $49.99)? Let's check!

First and foremost, the biggest pack ($49.99 for 5000 silver+1000 extra) is not worth it. This will be enough for 4 seasons and a significant amount of extra silver, but if you know you will play all 4 seasons, you might as well just get the deluxe version of the game which is cheaper in the long run and also includes the dungeon key right away.

What about the $29.99? We figured out that for the next three seasons you only have to spend $35. Can you buy three seasons with the pack for $29.99? Let's see. This pack will give you 3000 raw silver + 500 extra. Each season is 1200 which means that 3 seasons are 3600 which means you will not have enough for 3 seasons if you buy the $29.99 pack. You would have to add another pack of 500 which means you'd essentially have to spend the same amount of money ($35), but would have a leftover of 400 silver total, instead of only 200 at the end of the year. If you want more leftover silver for less money, this might be worth it for you.

This might be worth it also if you already have leftover silver right now. If you have 100 or more silver in your account right now, you can grab the $29.99 pack and be able to buy the next three seasons. This also only applies if you KNOW that will be buying 3 new seasons in the future.

What about the $19.99 pack? This pack will give you 2000 silver + 300 extra. Same as the pack before, this will leave you 100 silver short for two seasons (you will have 2300, but you need 2400). That means, again, you would have to add 500 for $5, making the cost of two seasons $25 and with a leftover of 300. This is the same leftover that you would have if you spend $15 for Deep and add $10 for season 22, meaning that this option is exactly the same. You can buy Deep for $15 and add $10 for the next one ( = $25) or you can grab the bundle for $20 and add $5 to get the same value for two seasons with the same amount of leftover silver. This is worth it if you know that you will buy at least 2 seasons in the future.

A lot of this depends on you never spending your leftover silver. If you spend it or if you buy more silver packs during the season, the count might get off. What you have to know, in case you're spending, is to always leave a minimum of 100 silver in your account. That means that you can grab the $10 pack which gives a total of 1100 silver. With your 100 leftover, that's 1200 for the season.

I want to make something clear: if Bungie makes a silver bundle of 1200 for $12, then three seasons will cost $36 instead of $35 they do currently. Making a season pass bundle will actually increase the cost by $1. However, it's important to account for the psychological impact of leftover silver; having leftover silver makes people bound to the game. They don't want to leave an account that has unspent money on it and that makes people more likely to not just want to keep investing, but also to spend that leftover. And since that leftover is not really enough to buy much of anything, that pushes people to buy more packs. This is why this is a predatory practice in the first place. It's the illusion of having more options and getting extra leftovers, but in reality that just makes people spend more.

Not only that, but this is also obviously confusing and requires you to plan ahead and weigh your options all the time. It would be much better if there was just a way to get the season directly for the exact amount it actually costs = $12. With these math shenanigans, you will always have to spend a minimum of $15 for a season, which is $3 extra that you shouldn't have to spend, even if it gives you extra silver.

However, you never have to spend $20 for a single season. You could, and you could end up with a lot of extra silver, but if you want to buy another season, you would have to add a minimum of $5 to be able to buy it. Technically you can absolutely spend $20 for a season and use all of the extra silver on cosmetics, but that is NOT required. It's up to your personal spending interests and capabilities.

If you only want Season of the Deep, grab the 500+1100 bundles ($15). If you decide you want the other two seasons, you will only have to add $10 for them.

If you're sure you want at least 2 seasons, grab the 500+2300 bundle ($25). If you decide you want more, you will also only have to add $10 to any subsequent purchase and you will have slightly more leftovers.

The ultimate goal is to ask Bungie to allow us to purchase seasons directly for the exact price. We want to complain (civilly, of course. Do not yell at employees, they don't like this either) to make Bungie create a bundle for seasons only or simply allow us to purchase a season with money directly. The increase is not as drastic as some people make it out to be, but that doesn't mean it's not bad. With the current silver system, it's absolutely bad and relies on people not looking into it and not doing the math because it's a lot to work out and think about. We should be able to purchase a season for the exact amount the season costs ($12) instead of having to wrestle with math charts.

Players would not be so angry about it if we were treated with respect and not preyed upon by these practices. For most, $12 is not too bad and we can all understand that costs of everything are shooting up. These $12 pay for 3 months of content, which means that the monthly subscription for Destiny is, essentially, $4. This is less than any other online game and even other media services. Even if you buy the whole expansion with all seasons for $100 per year, that amounts to $8,3 monthly subscription for Destiny, still among the cheapest online services. Obviously, it depends on the person whether or not this is worth it.

But we definitely do not enjoy this half-assed increase which advertises as being $12 but it doesn't allow you to only spend $12; you have to spend a minimum of $15 and then we are being baited with extra silver leftovers. This should absolutely be something we're mad about as it is. We don't have to lie about it being $20 or double the current price. The misinfo will just make people more complacent. When they realise that it's not actually $20, they will think of the real price as reasonable and will no longer be mad about it. Don't do some marketing CEO's work for them and don't make people think they have to spend more than they do.

No matter what, we as players deserve to be able to buy the season for its real price which is $12. We will currently have to spend a minimum of $15, which is not as bad as $20, but it's still a bad precedent to set, especially when you pair it with this amount of work to figure out which combination of bundles is best for you.

I want to make that clear. Just because it's not $20, doesn't mean it's good. The situation isn't ideal as it is and we as players should absoultely ask Bungie to not treat us this way. Maybe the silver bundle prices can't be changed right now due to various possible issues with how their contracts work, but this is something I want to see changed in the future.

[stonesparrow]

For the dr.stone x atla crossover I feel that even if Hyoga is or was a soldier in the fire army he wouldn’t have liked the idea of a nations worth of centuries of knowledge pasted down through generations being wiped of the face of the earth.

I just had a thought Hyoga could be a soldier in the fire army but he could also be a master instructor at his own dojo he inherited from his master kinda like master Piandao. He’s still a fire bender though.

Also I think I would be a cute and funny plot twist if he has a daughter who is still young but old enough to help fight and strong enough to thanks her dad training her. I think he’d be the same tough and cold character he is but he’s surprisingly tender, caring, gental, and kind to her in his own way that would just make the characters in the dr.stone universe jaws hit the floor lol.

Ah, you do have a point with Hyoga likely being disappointed that the knowledge of airbending was lost to genocide - all those ancient techniques would probably be really fascinating to him as a martial artist. Though I can also see him buying into the Fire Nation’s imperialist message of “we are the strongest nation, so we should rule over all the weaker nations.”

I like your idea that Hyoga is a fighting instructor, with his values he’d probably be something like Zuko in skillset - he puts a lot of effort into firebending, but also into spearfighting since he deeply respects the nonbender master who taught it to him. At the same time he has no time for people who either don’t take it seriously or are too weak to make a difference.

(More under the cut because this got long)

Him having a kid is an interesting plot twist and while it’s more twisty than I’d expect, I’m kind of intrigued by the potential it has. Though that also brings up the question of who the kid’s mom is, and when the kid was born (I estimate Hyoga’s age in DCST to be around 20-22). Homura maybe? Like...perhaps Hyoga and Homura were both fairly high class and had an arranged marriage, but while Homura fell in love with him as they grew up together Hyoga only respected her as a friend and fellow fighter.

And then if they had a daughter (maybe pressured by both their parents to produce an heir of some sort) it could make them both more complex characters. If the kid was really strong though I’d lean more towards an Ozai-Azula like dynamic with Hyoga impressing his values of “only the strong and skilled deserve to live,” onto her. Plus if we’re keeping relative canon ages then I’d estimate Homura to be 20, Hyoga to be 22, and their daughter to be 2 by the time Team Avatar shows up in the Fire Nation to do their thing.

However...I can see some potential with the kid turning out physically weak, and that throwing Hyoga’s values into wack.

Let’s say the toddler was born healthy and strong and an assessment by some Fire Sages said that she’d become an extremely powerful bender - this pleases Hyoga, since he can’t imagine having fathered a weak child with him and Homura’s combined firebending ability. And indeed, by the time the kid is two she shows signs of firebending power well beyond her age group, with Hyoga planning to train her into an extraordinarily strong warrior.

Except with such a strong fire at such a young age, the little girl suddenly falls terribly ill, having raging fevers and struggling to breathe. Hyoga’s ideals would tell him that such an ill child will die, and that’s that, the weak and ill perish while the strong survive. But he finds himself insisting that the kid will survive, because she’s strong, she has to survive. She’ll recover and become the strongest firebender this side of the Nation, not die a weakling.

Some time later, the Gaang shows up to Hyoga’s town to resupply. Pre-Zuko joining but maybe somewhere between meeting Piandao and encountering Combustion Man? Aang decides to visit the local firebending dojo (rip Sokka’s nerves) because hey, he wants to see some firebending techniques from actual benders, and he can tooooootally handle staying low key this time, honest! He encounters Hyoga and gets a fair bit intimidated by him, though Hyoga seems to approve of “Kuzon’s” highly adaptive martial arts style.

At some point, a messenger comes and Hyoga slips away. Being nosy, Aang follows them and catches enough of the conversation to determine that there’s a sick kid living in that fancy mansion, and relays his concerns to the Gaang. Katara immediately wants to investigate further - Sokka is again very stressed but understands that he can’t stop his sister once she’s made a decision (plus this is post Painted Lady and Katara is even more determined not to let children suffer if she can do anything about it). But when she tries the front entrance, the guards won’t let her in, even when she says she’s a healer. In fact, they deny that there’s a sick child at all, while Aang insists he didn’t hear wrong.

So Aang and Katara, ever the problem solvers, break into the mansion (airbending is super useful!) and find the kid’s bedroom. Katara assesses the patient - she determines that even with her waterbending, the kid will likely suffer from complications her whole life due to the damage she’s already sustained. Hyoga suddenly appears, asking them how they got into his house (he’s actually very curious, since they seemed to enter silently and without alerting anyone). When Katara excuses herself and says she’s a healer from the colonies (Aang’s explanation for how Katara has “special healing techniques unlike any other”) and just wanted to help, Hyoga says that he doesn’t need a healer, and that the girl will recover soon. Katara starts to argue and Hyoga starts insinuating that he could easily beat her in combat, when Homura shows up, pleading with Katara to save her daughter.

Hyoga and Homura start arguing, with Homura saying this may be their last chance and Hyoga saying that a true daughter of his would be able to fight off the sickness alone. Homura eventually asks if he’d rather have a dead daughter than a weak one, which makes him go quiet (Aang and Katara are standing there awkwardly watching all of this). Hyoga then calmly says that since they seem to be at a standstill, the reasonable course of action is an Agni Kai (Aang goes pale at this, while Katara doesn’t actually know what that is).

In the courtyard the Gaang watches anxiously as Hyoga and Homura begin their duel, which results in quite a few impressive displays of firebending. Homura however seems to be holding back slightly, more on the run than attacking. At one point Homura gets thrown on her back and nearly burnt, but Katara calls out to her, saying she has to win for the kid. She gets back up and starts attacking Hyoga with renewed resolve, and even Hyoga is surprised.

Hyoga realizes that as loyal as Homura is to him, she really is doing her best to win, even coming at him with direct shots of flame now. And since this is still Hyoga, he respects that deeply - she’s doing things “properly,” even though she doesn’t want to. He even respects that Katara was so dedicated to her role as a healer that she broke into his house just on the mere mention that there was a sick child there.

And in the very bottom of his heart, despite all the talk of strength and weakness and who deserves to live, he has a hard time realizing that he doesn’t want his daughter to die, even if it means she’ll be weak and reliant on others her whole life. This might be a little OOC for canon Hyoga, but hey, it’s an au and maybe if canon Hyoga did have something small and weak to protect, he’d be less of an ass to Senku and company.

So at a key moment in the battle, Hyoga pauses for a split second instead of dodging a blast from Homura and allows himself to be grazed on the chin, reminiscent of his revival scars in canon. It’s not a bad burn, and those watching closely realize that he let her win. Hyoga turns to leave, only saying that Katara will be compensated for her healing services and that they truly did things “properly.”

Katara heals the girl, saying that the fever is gone but her lungs are damaged and she’ll have breathing problems from now on. She’s paid a small sack of gold by a servant that she initially refuses, but takes in the end since it’d probably be good to have extra Fire Nation currency on hand. The Gaang leaves the mansion feeling...a little conflicted about the experience, honestly.

Meanwhile as Homura sits by the girl’s bedside Hyoga appears in the doorway, having treated his burn from the duel. An awkwardly long silence passes before Hyoga says he’s been thinking about the skills that "Kuzon” and “Sapphire” displayed, and that he’s considering buying a home in the colonies so he can learn about those types of skills (since Aang claimed they were from the colonies). He turns to leave, but not before offhandedly saying that the seaside air in the colonies he’s looked at might be good for their daughter’s lungs.

[nightingale101]

Don’t take the money.

So slowly writing chapter 2, i figure i might as well post the first chapter here.

~~~

Somebody broke me once, Love was a currency A shimmering balance act, I think that I laughed at that And I saw your face and hands, Coloured in sun and then I think I understand

~~**~~

This was different. Those other times, love had burnt like an uncontrollable fire, consuming everything and everyone in its path and burning itself out in the process. It was all consuming, a fire they had lit under his skin that turned everything it touched to ash and ruin. But with V… with V it was different. It was…. Warmth

One

Sweet Disposition.

 A moment, a love

A dream, a laugh

A kiss, a cry

Our rights, our wrongs

   “I don’t understand. They- Grayson said - at the oil fields”

 “he either lied or wasn’t high enough up the Chain to be in the know.”

 “But I-“

 “Focus, We have to move. Reinforcements are probably on their way here as we speak.”

 “I know- I just.”

 “It’s alright, we can figure this out. Together, as a family.”

 “yeah. Ok... one thing at a t- oh shit, that alarm. Fuck”

 “We have to move. Now. Do you think you can help me carry him, V?”

 The voices came to him from far, far away, a lifetime away it felt like. filtering in through the inky blackness he currently found himself drifting in. afloat, lost, confused.

 He didn’t know them. At least he didn’t think he knew them, he couldn’t remember. Well, he really couldn’t remember much of anything right know. He wasn’t even sure he knew himself. He wasn’t even sure what his name was. Where was he… How did he get here… why was he here... why couldn’t he remember?

 V… was that a name...? Was that his name? No… No he didn’t think so, but it was confusing. He knew V… He was sure of that. He wanted to… save them.

 ~~**~~

 He didn’t know how long he’d been there. floating in the dark, it seemed timeless. It could have been seconds, it could have been hours, it could have been a year as far as he could tell. He wasn’t sure where he was, or why, or how he got there. But he remembered his name now.

 Johnny.

 ~~**~~

 The voices still floated to him though the darkness. Not as clear as the first time, but he caught the occasional word through the muffled haze that seemed to surround him.  

 Plan. Silverhand. Night City. Dying. Border. Wake up. V. Bleeding. Badlands. Lucky. Wake up. Please.

 There were more than the first two voices now, although he couldn’t tell exactly how many. Some of them seemed to blend together and he couldn’t distinguish one voice from the other. He heard the first voice, the voice he now could recognize as V, the most often. She often talks to him alone, or at least he doesn’t hear anyone else while she’s around. He wonders if this means he saved her. If he could just remember what happened.

 ~~**~~

 He knows who he now. He is Johnny Silverhand. Deserter. Rockerboy. Terrorist. All round bastard.

 He remembers all of it. Alt. Arisaka tower. Rouge. Smasher. And V. God he remembers V. A pang of guilt clutches around his heart when he thinks of her. That’s new he thinks. He hadn’t really felt guilty about something before. Everything was inconsequential to him before, someone else’s problem.

 He remembers It felt like torture to him. Watching her slowly get worse, her body and mind slowly being taken over by him, with nothing he could do about it. He remembers when he stopped the elevator, taking control of her arm to push the button, the fear in her voice. And he remembers his own fear, when she’d passed out, and he couldn’t reach her, no matter how hard he tired. But, he could still hear her voice… she was talking to him, wherever he was. Which means she was alive, right? He’d… Gone with Alt? is this what being a part of her was like? This… nothingness... but something. And still being able to here V.

 He doesn’t remember anything after speaking with V in Cyberspace. Seeing her red digital form, arguing with him of all things. She didn’t want him to leave, wanted to find a way for them both to live. One moment they were talking… and then he was here. Nowhere.

 ~~**~~

 He was starting to feel things again. and everything… Hurt. There was pain firing in all his nerves all over his body. His head was throbbing, sharp pain spikes were running down his back and adding to the dull ache in his legs…. His... legs...? Was this phantom pain from his non-existent body? Like what he had felt when he first lost his arm. Was he feeling the injuries that his body would have sustained from that last fight at the tower...? Or- no. He wouldn’t even entertain the idea that he actually had a body again. Because that would mean V... was... and he didn’t want to think about that. As long as she was alive, it was all worth it. He’d given his life for hers, and he couldn’t think of better thing to lay down his life for.

 ~~**~~

He’s… confused. He has a body, he’s pretty sure of that, can feel jolts of pain running down his spine, way to vivid to be phantom pains. But he hears V talking… wherever he, they, are, she’s here, and talking to Panam. He tries to pay attention to their convocation.

 “… signs of improvement.” Panam was saying. “but no guarantees, V.”

 He thinks they’re talking about him. Whatever is going on, he thinks he’s getting better too. He didn’t feel like he was floating anymore. He felt anchored. Secure. Still in darkness, but he didn’t feel like he was floating endlessly. He was more aware of his body; of the pain he was feeling. Or whoever’s body he was in, because as far as he knew his body was a skeleton and some rusted metal buried under the oil fields.

 “I know…” came V’s voice, she let out a sigh. “One day at a time, right?”

 V sounded exhausted. She sounded like she did when he’d taken her to the Pistis Sophia, after she’d woken up, a pain in her chest and barely being able to walk. Like she was running on empty, holding on by a thread that was threatening to snap at any moment and send her plummeting to the ground.

 “Right. And anyway. We should talk about you.” Panam said.

 “one thing at a time, Panam.” V responded, “Besides, there’s not a lot to talk about on that front anyway. Mitch is still chasing down his old contacts, isn’t he?”

 “Yes, but that’s not really what I meant.” Panam continued. “I meant, how are you doing? I know you haven’t been sleeping and-“

 “Time is short… Sleeping seems like a waste.”

 “If you don’t sleep, you’ll burn out so much faster. You-“

 The conversation faded to the background as his thoughts sawm around his head. V. It was odd not knowing exactly how she was feeling, what was going through her head. When he was in her mind, her thoughts and feelings flowed into him, and he could reassure her without even speaking, steel her nerves, calm her racing heart. He wanted to reach her now. He wanted to reassure her. He wanted to speak to her…

 “…V” His voice was so small he thought as the blackness surrounded him, not his intention at all.

 “Johnny!?” he heard V say, her voice full of concern but also hopfullness, and then the nothingness came once again.

 ~~**~~

 When Johnny Silverhand woke up it was sunrise, the pale orange light stung the edges of his vision. His eyelids were heavy, like he hadn’t opened them for so long that they resisted the unfamiliar movement.  It took an enormous effort to even open them at all, and even more effort to try and keep them open. His whole body ached. Every inch. From his legs to his head. From dull aches, to sharp jolts, he felt it all. Even moving his eyes too look around like it hurt.

 He was in a tent. He recognized it as an Aldecaldo tent, like the one V had awoken in after she’d passed out in front of Panam. He was vaguely aware of frantic voices around him, but he was more focused on breathing, the ache in his chest as his lungs rose and fell. The fact that he was even breathing at all.

 And then she was there.

 “V…” His voice was hoarse, and his throat felt like it had been fucked by a sandpaper covered dick. But it was worth it, her face lit up with a smile the second he spoke.

 “Johnny… Oh my god.” She sounded so relieved, he heard her dragging something to his side and she sat down next to him. With the most effort he’d ever needed to do anything, he turned his head slightly to look at her. His neck protested, loudly.

 “I don’t…” it was taking all his effort to stay awake. He felt Vs hand on his shoulder, squeezing it in reassurance.

 “It’s okay.” She said softly, as he was rapidly losing the fight with his eyelids.  “just rest… we can talk later”

 ~~**~~

 The next time Johnny woke up he felt marginally better, as in he didn’t feel like he had been runover by semi-truck, just a minivan. He wasn’t sure what time it was, sometime at night he thought, Judging from the lack of light in the tent. When he turned his head slightly, he could make out a person sleeping, or at the very least laying down, on a cot opposite him.

 He moved his hand to reach out to them, not entirely sure why, but just knowing he wanted to. With a protest of pain that shot out from his wrist, up his arm, and down his spine; his hand slid off the cot and thumped onto the floor. It felt like trying to move a waterlogged post, slow and impossibly heavy. He almost imdently wanted to bring his arm back up onto the bed, to a more comfortable position, but quickly decide that was way more effort that he was willing to put in right at this moment and would probably make him pass out again. He settled on moving his fingers, enjoying the feeling of his nails scraping though the carpet, or mat, or… whatever was on the floor of the tent, he couldn’t be bothered looking. He became aware that he couldn’t move his other hand, or his other arm in general. His arm that in his original body would have been his cybernetic arm. He hated that feeling. He let out a sigh.

 He saw the person on the other cot stir and begin to sit up, it was V.

 “Johnny.”

 “Hey... V.” he croaked out. She stood and walked over to him, taking a seat by his side again. “I ...” he began, but wasn’t sure how to finished that sentence, or even what he wanted to say. she reached for something next to him, a bottle of water. She placed a straw in it and brought the other end to his lips. He drank. It made throat feel significantly better. When he was done, she put the bottle back down, somewhere just beyond his sight.

 “Its okay.” She picked up his arm and placed it back on the bed, resting it across his chest. “first off, how are you feeling?”

 “Fucking preem.” He said, throat still protesting slightly, “Apart from the fact that I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck or ten”

 “Yeah, I figured...” V responded, her eyes looking over his body, as if she could see the pain. It was quite for a moment.

 “V…” He said softly, breaking thought the quiet, she looked at him. “What the fuck happened… I don’t... I don’t remember”

 She let out a sigh and looked up at a ceiling. He could see her eyes dart back and forth as she got her thoughts in order. The last time he’d seen her do this, they were on the roof above Mistys, making one last choice, and he was feeling sick to his stomach. But at this moment, it felt like a lifetime ago. Maybe it was. “Johnny, what’s the last thing you remember.”

 “talking to you… inside Mikoshi and then… Nothing.” His voice came out more of a hushed whisper than he would have liked.

 “okay… its… right.” She began.  She slapped her hands down on her lap, he wasn’t sure why, maybe to psych herself up. “so, while we were talking in Mikoshi, before we came to a decision, Alt appeared. Do you remember?

 He shook his head slightly. He knew he’d already came to a decision; he would die so she could live. It was V who was still wrestling with the choice. V continued. “She said there was an anomaly. Something that she didn’t account for, and then you disappeared. Just… Blinked out of existence right before my eyes.”

 She paused to take a shaky breath.

  “She then told me a location inside Arasaka Tower to go to, close to where we were, If I chose to go back to my body... which I obviously I did... and in that room was the anomaly. In that room was you.” She looked at Johnny. “Your body.”

 He swallowed. “I don’t understand…. Grayson said…”

 “He lied” V said. “Or he just genuinely didn’t know. But this” she placed her hand on his chest, right above his heart. “This is you. Not a clone, or a replica. You.”

 He let that sink in for a moment. He’d known that he was in a body. He just hadn’t thought it had been his body. At least it was slightly less concerning that he couldn’t move his left arm now. The prosthetic must have been damaged. “...How?”

 “Cryogenically frozen.” V said. “honestly, lucky you still have all of your fingers and toes. Cryo freezing’s a crapshoot even these days, I couldn’t imagine how it was back then.”

 Lucky to even be alive, he thought, from what little he knew about the Cryo technology from 2023, but leave it to Arasaka to have the top tier technology squirreled away in their basement. “so, is that why I feel like I’ve been run over?”

 “Maybe partially.” V said. “but, near as I could tell... they froze your body right after they used soul killer on you. So all your injures from the tower, they’re still fresh.”

 Oh. That made more sense now. He did fall out of a helicopter, and get his ass handed to him by Smasher. “so... Alt just uploaded my mind back into my body? And I was good to go.”

 V smiled at him, a sad smile. He decided he didn’t like it. “not exactly… Johnny when I got to you, you were dead. You had no pulse, you weren’t breathing. Me and Panam just barely managed to get you back. We didn’t know if you were going to wake up…. I didn’t…. you scared the hell out of me.”

 “It’s payback…” He said. She was upset, and he hated that it was because of him. Her hand was still on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. Despite the protests from his arm, he moved to place his hand over the top of hers, letting his fingers come to rest between hers. “For when I thought...”

 “its not funny Johnny.” She sounded annoyed, but she didn’t move her hand.  “You’ve been in a coma for nearly a month.”

 A month his mind echoed. He could feel himself slowly slipping back into unconsciousness, but he was suddenly aware of the implication of sleeping for a month. The moment V’s mind was placed back in her body, she was a ticking time bomb, and the clock was set for six months. And now that was down to five. She didn’t deserve that. His chest ached as guilt wrapped itself around his heart.

 They were quiet. His hand was still over hers, their fingers interlaced. She had begun to move thumb, gently and slowly stroking the side of his palm. He in turn began to move his thumb, caressing the back of her hand. Her hands were so much smaller than his and they seemed much more delicate, but he knew they could be just as deadly as his own if she needed them to be. He wanted to ask more questions, but more than that he didn’t want this moment to end, just being able to touch her- actually touch her. And just enjoying this. This unspoken thing between them.

 He was in love with her. He’d been aware that for a while now, although he couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it started. He thinks it might have started bubbling in his chest around the time he took her to the Pistis Sophia, when he’d committed to saving her.

 He’d been in love before, he knows that. Alt. Rouge. And even Kerry at some points. But this… This was different. Those other times, love had burnt like an uncontrollable fire, consuming everything and everyone in its path and burning itself out in the process. It was all consuming, a fire they had lit under his skin that turned everything it touched to ash and ruin. But with V… with V it was different.  It was…. Warmth. Like a fire you had built to keep the winter chill at bay. it surrounded you with its warmth and comfort so that whatever storm you were taking shelter from, didn’t matter.  It still burned with ferocity, like all fires did, but it didn’t feel like it would consume him and everything thing in its path. It felt... safe… like he needed this fire to survive, and not like he need to survive this fire.

 He wanted to tell her, but as the thought crossed his mind, he felt his grasp on consciousness slip. “V…”

 “You should rest..” She said, she had the softest smile on her face. “Its late. And we’ll have all the time in the world to talk when you’re stronger.”

 He thought that sentiment was laughable, as his eyes slowly fell shut against his will. He’d always been weak.

[adrenaline-roulette]

Four Eighths

Pairing: Four x Eight (Reader) Word Count: 5.5K+ Warnings: Language *Disclaimer, Hi everybody. I first of all would like to apologise to those who have been waiting for months for a new chapter, this chapter has been partially written since September, however in that time, my aunt passed away. It has hit me very hard, and during this time, I needed to take a step away from writing, to be with my family, and also to take time to look after myself and my mental health.  I’m doing better now, and with that means I am slowly updating my works which have been neglected as of late. So for those who are returning viewers of this series, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming back and waiting with me. And for those new to this series, welcome and I hope you stay with us. Much love to you all!

Chapters One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, and Nine can be found here! (That’s right baby, we’ve officially reached double digits for chapters!)

Chapter Ten: Darkest paradise I’ve ever seen

Flying into Noumea, your headphones pressed snuggly against your ears, you watch as miles upon miles of crystal blue ocean spans ahead of you. From just about every direction you look through the small aeroplane window, all you can see is blue. That is aside from the tiny speck on the horizon, which you can only assume is in fact, your destination. It seems awfully far away, and a part of you has managed to convince the less logical section of your brain, that you still have plenty of time before you arrive. Before the plan takes motion. Before shit goes down. Or you have months to continue planning your take down of the Lushnick’s…. But as you gaze out the window once more, the tiny speck growing ever larger, your rational mind takes over, reminding you that in less than two weeks, provided everything went according to plan, the Lushnick’s would be yours.

As the plane touches down at La Tontouta international airport, you await the captain’s departure announcement before standing up and stretching your cramping legs, feeling your joints pop, and muscles ache from having spent too long in one position. Once the initial rush of passengers have passed you, you reach up into the overhead compartments and retrieve the navy blue rucksack you had stowed up there. With the bag flung over your shoulder, you disembark the plane, and head towards the baggage carousel within the terminal. Within your rucksack, along with a few emergency items on the off chance your bags were lost, included five various ID cards, all hand made for you by One’s slightly shady yet reliable connection; a wad of Pacific Franc, the currency of New Caledonia, and of course your laptop. One had assured you that the apartment you would be using as a base had all the setup you required, however you felt more confident with your own computer, even just as a backup for an emergency. As you cross the tarmac, you recall the burner phone One had given you upon your departure, the only contacts held within were those of the Ghost’s, though knowing that you still have the ability to communicate with  your team before their arrival helped alleviate some of your nerves. Switching the phone off flight mode, you held it firmly in your sweaty palm, half expecting it to buzz to life with missed notifications, as it would if it were your true phone. The influx of notifications never come, there is however one which does buzz through. ‘Are you safe?’

You scan over the message again and again, reading just about every possible subtext into it within a matter of seconds, before finally, you take a deep breath in, hold it for ten seconds, then release. ‘It’s Four, don’t be so dramatic. He actually cares about you.’ You remind yourself, just as your thumbs tap against the phone keyboard. ‘Just landed. Collecting bags then heading to the apartment. Should be there within the hour.’ You reply, pocketing the phone again and keeping your eyes peeled for you luggage.

The phone vibrates again, but this time you ignore it, opting instead to find the Taxi rank now that you had procured your bags. On you way through the airport, you discard you boarding pass into a trashcan, saying a mental goodbye to the alias of Ginevra Connelly. Of course you still kept the ID card with Ginevra’s details in your bag just in case, but the aim was to only use each alias once. One for flying, one for working, and one for personal business. The others were just there if any unexpected events should arise. Once outside, you only need wait a few minutes before a taxi pulls up, the driver popping the trunk of the car for you to deposit your bags. Once the trunk is closed, you slide into the back seat, sitting directly behind the driver. “Bonjour.” The driver offers with a small smile, meeting your eyes in the rear-view mirror.

You smile gently back. “Bonjour.” You greet, before reciting off the address to the apartment in Noumea which One had insisted you memorise.

With a nod of his head, the taxi driver speeds off, either ignoring or simply disregarding all speed signs which he passed. As he drove like a bat out of hell, you check your phone once more. ‘That’s good. Glad you’re alright.’ Four had replied, earning a small smile to creep over your lips.

‘Well, the flight didn’t kill me. Can’t say the same about my driver though….’

‘Axe murderer?’

‘Nothing quite as exciting. Or at least, I didn’t notice an axe when I checked the trunk…. Just a crazy driver is all. You’ll see when you get here. It looks to be a trend.’

‘Can’t wait!’ Before a rapid second response of. ‘Stay out of trouble until I get there please?’

‘I promise.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Love yo-‘ You begin typing, before frantically deleting the characters. As much as you wanted to send the message, you just couldn’t quite bring yourself to do it. Something about sending those words, via a burner phone while you’re in a totally different country, just felt wrong. Perhaps that was the nerves of the mission talking? No matter, you would saver the phrase for when you saw Four in person.

You put your phone away after that, not trusting yourself to continue the conversation with the direction it was headed. You knew Four was still, not necessarily mad at you, but disappointed that you hadn’t told him of your early departure. You were also acutely aware of his fear for you being in a foreign country all alone. You were positive that if it hadn’t been for the sudden announcement of your leaving, then he would have tried much harder to convince you and One to let him arrive with you. Of course, deep down you knew that despite Four’s protective nature, he understood why he was unable to arrive with you, or with the others. But it didn’t stop him from disliking the plan any less.

The driver watches as you put your phone away and takes this time to engage you in the typical taxi, passenger chit chat. “Parlez-vous français?” He enquires, and it takes you a moment to comprehend what he had asked. You had a slight knowledge of the French language, but it was very, very basic.

“No sorry, I don’t speak French.” You offer with a half smile, shrugging lightly as you turn your attention to the scenery blurring past you.

“Ah, a tourist then. Here for a vacation, are you? He continues, drumming his fingers along the steering wheel as he changes lanes in what would be considered a highly illegal maneuver literally anywhere else in the World.

Deciding that if you looked out the window any longer you may become motion sick, you turn your focus to staring directly at the back of the drivers head. “Mhm, I’ve always wanted to visit, go snorkelling, maybe go for a ride on one of those glass bottom boats? Who knows!” You ramble on, though nothing you say is quite a lie. In truth, you had always wanted to visit Noumea, and were supposed to when you were thirteen. You were supposed to go on a cruise to the South Pacific Islands as a birthday present, however that never quite happened. You suppose in the long run, it’s a good thing you never came here as a child, if you had, then this mission may not be going ahead. Or at least not with you at the helm.

“My cousin owns a glass bottom boat, he runs tours every day. Here, take this card, it has his details.” He pulls a crinkled business card out of his shirt pocket, and passes it back to you. You take it graciously, taking a moment to read over it before stowing it away in your bag.

“Thank you.”

As you drive through the city, the driver points out the occasional tourist attraction, to which you nod and play along with the façade you had created. Most things he says go in one ear then out the other, but there is one which catches your attention. “Over the is the hospital. Might be good to know where that is just in case.” He offers with a grin, gesturing to the large building on your left.

Your head whips around to face that direction in an instant, eyes growing wide as you drink in the sight. “That’s the hospital…” You whisper, mouth going dry as you watch the building disappear into the distance behind you.

The rest of the drive is kept in relative silence, mostly on your part. Having finally seen your destination for this mission, it all suddenly felt so real. Inside that building, which should be used for good, were two of the most vile and wicked people you know to exist. They had nearly two weeks left before they met they’re match however, and that thought alone set a chilling grin on your lips.

*****

Once you arrived at the apartment you were faced with a serious problem, a lack of keys to the front door. Surely One should’ve thought of this, he owned the fucking place! “Well that’s just great. Now what?” You hiss to yourself, glaring daggers at the wooden door that currently separated you from your new, temporary home and work space.

Reaching behind, you fish around in your bag in search of your phone. Muttering swears beneath your breath, until finally your fingers clasp onto the cool, smooth device. Scowling at the screen as you scroll through the limited contacts, you press call against One. Standing with your back leaning against the front door, one arm folded across your chest, and your left foot tapping the ground impatiently.

“Don’t tell me you’re already in trouble.” One grumbles after the sixth ring. His words causing your sour mood to only worsen.

“No I am not.” You hiss, lowering your voice to a whisper as you hear voices out on the street.

“What do you need Eight?”

“I want to know how I’m supposed to get into the bloody apartment! There’s not fucking keys!”

There’s a pause on the line for a minute or two, and for the first time ever, you realise that you’ve rendered One, the fearless leader, utterly speechless. “The keys are on the table.” His voice is mumbled, and you barely catch what he says.

“I’m sorry, what was that now?”

One groans, and you can almost picture his frustrated face, perhaps he would even be pinching the bridge of his nose… “I said, the keys are on the table, inside the apartment.”

He sounds disappointed in himself, and rightly so. “Well, that’s helpful isn’t it?”

“Don’t get sassy with me missy.”

“Why not? This is your house isn’t it? Shouldn’t you have a set of keys with you?”

“It’s one of my houses..”

“That doesn’t make this any better.”

“Did you bring your lock pick?”

“Of course I did. The question is, which bag is it in….” You mumble, gazing around at the bags you had discarded by the door.

“I think you know what to do. Good luck kid.” There’s a grin to One’s voice now, and you have half a mind to tell him off for his stupidity, however before you get the chance, the line goes dead.

With a deep sigh, you resign yourself to do the only thing you can, break in. Well technically it wasn’t breaking in, not when you were supposed to be living here, though you imagine that logic may not stand up in court if someone were to catch you in the act.

Withing ten minutes, all of your bags lay open on the ground, items of clothing strewn about the place, as you had frantically searched the brown leather pouch which housed your lockpick tools. Upon finding it, you groan at the mess you had made, stuffing everything back in the bags haphazardly, you would deal with the unorganised mess later.

Gazing around, you double then triple check that there is no one around to see you. The voices on the street had long since faded away, leaving only the sounds of birds chirping, and the distant crash of waves.  Confident you’re alone, you bow over the door handle, and begin picking the lock. It occurs to you that perhaps this was One’s plan all along. After all, he was the one to provide you with said lock picking kit. You brush that thought off, and return to the task at hand, fiddling with the handle for roughly fifteen minutes until finally you hear a click. “Eureka!” You declare quietly yet triumphantly. The door swings open, and dusty air breezes out past you, causing you to cough and sneeze. Blimey, this place must’ve been closed up for months!

Inside the apartment, you don’t take too long looking around, you’ll have time for that later. You take note of where the master bedroom is, and claim that as yours by dumping your bags atop the bed, and seek out the bathroom. With everything in order as far as you could see, you take your laptop and bring it out into the main living area where what you can only assume is your area has been set up. There are three monitors set up on a large oak desk, which looked wildly out of place in the otherwise, holiday home themed house. The largest sitting in the middle of the desk, with two smaller screens on either side. It’s not a perfect set up, but it will work for what you need, and that’s all that really matters, especially considering most of your work would be done from inside the hospital.

Settling down at the makeshift study desk, you take a final moment to glance around the apartment, spotting a set of what you presume is house keys sitting on the dining table. “Well, at least One was right about where you were.” You mutter quietly, glaring at the object in question.

*****  

Infiltrating the hospital database took far longer than you had initially expected. Over the past few weeks, you had made practice runs of worming your way into other systems for different hospitals around the world, however at no point had you thought to test your access to the hospital you actually needed entrance to. “It can’t be any different to any of the others.” You surmise, squinting at the screen before you, elbows propped up on the desk, and chin resting on your interlocked fingers. Truth be told it wasn’t that much different, not in the scheme of things, however someone, and goodness knows who, had made the entire system nearly impenetrable! Key word being nearly. However, if there was one thing you had learned after years of sneaking your way into systems you shouldn’t, it was that no matter how tricky a program may first appear, there is always a way in! And this system was no different.

One pizza delivery and three energy drinks later, the start of a migraine -which was either caused by your frustration, or the copious amounts of caffeine- and you were finally in! The hospital was, in every sense of the word, yours. The possibilities, oh the possibilities! Your first task only took a few moments, scanning through encrypted lists until you came across the one which housed the contact details for all members of staff. The list consisted of the staff members name, followed by their position of work, contact number and email, and finally a next of kin. Truly, this list looked to have been composed specifically for you and your needs. Copying the details you required for a one Mister Frank Sea, and pasting them momentarily into a word document, you move onto your second task. Page upon page you read through, jumping between links and praying that perhaps this time you had found the correct page, you finally make it to the hospital security system. You blame your caffeinated jittery hands for how long it took you to find. Once in the system, you begin changing over a few simple details, nothing too extreme that could potentially be cause for concern if anyone were to see, but the changes you made were imperative to the mission. The contact name for the security recruitment agency remained the same, however you now deleted out the previous phone number, adding in One’s phone number as planned. Finally came task three, which you had been dreading since you woke up this morning. The guilt of what you were about to do had been gnawing at you all week. You weren’t a bad person, not really; you kept telling yourself, hoping that perhaps if you said so enough, it would be true. You feared sending this email would ruin Frank, that it would destroy him… ‘It’s just business.’ You can hear One telling you, his exact words after you had both come up with this plan. “It’s just business, I’m just doing my job. It’s for the greater good.” You whisper, your voice catching in your throat. You don’t give yourself another moment to dwell on things, and instead quickly write up your email on the address you had created specifically for the mission. The email informs Frank of his urgent presence being required in Scotland to discuss the legalities of his and his wife’s separation, and custody of his children. Holding your breath, you hit send, watching impatiently until the message had left your outbox. By the time Frank would arrive in Scotland, the company you had pretended to work for would be closed for three weeks due to renovations. He would have no way of contacting them to find out why his presence was required, and of course try as he might, there was no chance he would receive a reply to any of his emails to you. So for three weeks, he would stick it out at home, arguing with his wife, all while you take over for him at the hospital.

*****

Soft pinks and oranges had begun to coat the evening sky as dusk rolled in, and for the first time in years, Four found himself staring up at the sky, envisioning a future. A future which didn’t involve hurting or killing people, no matter how evil and vile they were. Just a plain, normal future. He didn’t quite know what had brought these thoughts upon him, they were the types of thoughts he had managed to banish into the deepest parts of his mind. In fact, the last time he had thought about a normal life, was shortly after Six had died. They all mourned him of course, but the reality of losing Six had weighed down on him greatly. And for close to three months, Four had seriously considered abandoning the Ghosts, and starting a fresh life far away from them. At the time though, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t leave the team. And besides, he had no where to go, and no one to run to. But now? Now was different, he had you. The two of you could run away together, leave the Ghosts, leave this life behind. Start over wherever in the world you wanted you, far away from One and his plans of revenge against those who had wronged the world….

He shook his head, the images of normalcy which had formed in his minds eye, fading away, just as the sun was. He couldn’t leave, not when this was the closest thing to a family he had had since he was a toddler. If there was one thing he knew for sure, you don’t abandon your family. His own parents had taught him that the hard way.

Carefully, Four pushed himself up from where he had been relaxing atop his trailer. His back was stiff after having been laid down for what felt like too long, but he paid it little mind. As he leapt down to the ground, a loud yell echoed throughout base.

“Will somebody answer my phone? I can’t get to it right now!” It was One, yelling at the top of his lungs from god knows where, his voice sounded muffled though.

Next came Five’s screamed reply. “Where are you then?”

“Garage!” One yelled back.

“Coming, I’ll get it!” Four watched as Five went darting across base, kicking up red dust in her haste.

For interests sake, Four made his meandering way towards the garage, just to see what was so urgent about this phone call, and why One couldn’t get it. He strolled in, hands in his pants pockets, and hood drawn over his head. His eyes darting between Five, who was reading from a script scribbled in an old notebook while on the phone, to One who’s feet were sticking out from beneath a silver Audi R8.

“Good afternoon, leader security how may I help you?” Five recited in what was either the worst or perhaps best Dolly Parton imitation Four had ever heard. “Oh sure, you need a new head of security? How soon do you need them to start?” There was a pause, and Four stepped further over to the Audi, titling his head to the left as he lifted a quizzical brow. “Asap? Well where are y’all located?... Oh I see, let me transfer you.”

“You alright down there mate?” Four smirked giving One’s foot a gentle kick.

“Yep, never better. Why do you ask?”

“Well it’s just, you’re only like, ten steps away from your phone… Not sure why you couldn’t get it yourself is all.” He shrugged, folding his arms across his chest, and rocking back on his heels.

One pauses for a few moments, selecting his next words carefully. “I just didn’t want to stop what I was doing midway through.”

Four crouched slightly, peering at the floor creeper One was reclined on beneath the car. One of the wheels had popped off entirely, while another on the same side was horrendously bent out of shape. “You’re stuck aren’t ya?”

“Yes I’m stuck.”

*****

Two hours later, your mobile rings with One’s caller ID flashing, grinning you answer with a bright smile. “Good afternoon, Leader security recruitment how may I help you?” You recite in an overly practiced voice, not that the person on the other end of the line could tell, but it sure made you feel better, knowing you weren’t about to trip over your own words. One had done just as was planned, and upon playing receptionist for the security company, had transferred the call directly to you, and now it was time to get yourself employed.

The female voice on the other end of the line begins speaking frantically, telling you about how the current head of security for her hospital had just left unexpectedly, and that they needed someone to fill in for him until they could find out when he would return.

“Ma’am, it will all be fine, I assure you. Now can you please tell me your company code?” You smile, while typing aimlessly into a word document. So long as the woman on the phone could hear you typing, you would not raise any suspicion, even if all you were typing was smiley faces. “I see, and this is a hospital based in Noumea New Caledonia, is that correct? – Mhm no problems at all. How soon do you require someone to commence?” You type out the few details she tells you which are actually important to you, before returning to the faces. “I will have to see who I have in area who may be able to assist you. One of contractors recently moved to the area I believe for a change of scenery.  May I put you on hold and see if I am able to call her?” The moment the woman agrees, you place the call on hold and laugh to yourself. The temptation to have an actual conversation with yourself just to keep the charade up is there, however considering as it had only been a few hours of you living alone, you felt you should at least attempt to keep the bouts of insanity to a minimum for now. “Hello, are you still there?” You ask a few minutes later.  “Anastasia Breaker will be available as of tomorrow morning, if you could please forward all details regarding her employment to the following email address, then she will see you in the morning.” The woman is nearly in tears as she thanks you, promising she would send the information within minutes. “Of course, no problems. Have a lovely evening, and once again, thank you for choosing leader security.”

As the phone goes silent, you stand up and stretch, raising your arms above your head. You’d done it, you were in. Or rather Anastasia was in, but no matter who’s name was on the contract, you were the one who would be doing all the work.

*****

For the next few hours, you read through the multiple emails which arrived for Anastasia Breaker, advising you of where to go tomorrow morning, and who you would be meeting upon your arrival. It was nothing too unusual, or anything unexpected, the only downside was that you had been requested to arrive at 6 am. To some that may be ok, normal even. But to you, a perpetual night owl, it felt like torture. After laying out your clothing for the following morning, to allow for a slight sleep in, you lay down in the double bed you had claimed as yours. You knew it would likely end up being shared once the others arrived, but for now, it was all yours. The lights had all been turned out, leaving you in near complete darkness. The only light was that of the shining silver moon, peering down on you through a forest of thick trees. Try as you might however, sleep seemed to escape you. Perhaps it was nerves of tomorrow and your new ‘job’, or maybe it was just the fact you were sleeping in a new bed. No matter the cause, after tossing and turning for nearly an hour, you eventually gave up. Sitting upright, you grab the burner phone off the nightstand, having left it beside you with an alarm on for the morning.

You stare down at the bare screen, so used to your own which was filled with various apps. On this phone however, there was nothing of interest to do. Your thumb hovered over your contacts, and you bite your lower lip in thought. You knew One would be furious if he found out you were using the phone as anything but emergency contacts and an alarm, but at the same time, you found yourself having a rather difficult time caring about him and what he thought while he was so far away. Finally, you press down on the contact, and listen to the phone ring on loudspeaker.

“Hello?” Four’s distinct voice carries through, and you feel a wave of comfort roll over you. His voice alone felt like home, and it almost frightened you to think that, especially considering how brief your relationship had been so far.

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Oh, Oh! I’m sorry love I had no idea. This number isn’t programmed into my phone, I genuinely thought it was a telemarketer or something!” He was rambling, and you could almost see the pale crimson blush which would be creeping up his neck and cheeks, as he too realised, he was rambling.

“It’s totally fine, I’m not really supposed to be calling you. But I needed to hear a friendly voice.”

“Who says you’re not supposed to call?”

“One.”

“Fuck him and his stupid rules!”

“I would really rather not.”

“You know what I mean, you idiot.” You can practically hear his eye roll through his words, and you can’t help but smile at that. At how well you know his mannerisms these days.  “How has day one gone? Everything going according to plan?”

You nod, before recalling that he can’t see you. “Yep, things seem to be rather smooth sailing for now. I’ll be starting at the hospital tomorrow morning, and from there I can get everything else set in motion.”

“That’s brilliant, at this rate it’ll all be over before we know it!”

You pause for a moment, resting the phone on the pillow beside your head. “Yeah, I suppose so.”

“What’s wrong hm? You don’t sound convinced?”

Rolling over, you lay flat on your back, staring up at the ceiling. “I suppose I’m just trying to come to terms with how quickly this is all happening, you know? Like, I feel it was just yesterday One announced who the targets were, and now suddenly I’m here? It’s all happening so fast.”

“I know exactly what you mean, I can’t quite wrap my head around it all either. But look at how far we’ve come. How far you’ve come! Remember that day when the targets were announced-“

“You mean the day I ran out of the briefing and nearly killed us both?” You interrupt, smirking slightly at the memory.

“Yes, that day. But look at you now, look at where you are! You’ve changed so much in such a short period of time. You’re far more prepared than any of us here at base are, and for us, this is either our second or third mission! For you, this is your first, and you’re already doing better than any of us could’ve imagined.”

“Do you mean that, or are you just saying it so I stop panicking?”

“I’ve never meant anything more in my life Eight, I promise.”

“Thank you, I – thank you.” You whisper, rolling to your side and looking down at the phone. You sigh deeply, closing your eyes tight before allowing them to slowly open. “Tell me something that no one else in the Ghosts knows about you.”

You hear him chuckle, a deep rumble which you wish you could wrap your arms around him and feel as it flowed through you. “Do you want something to laugh at?”

“Yes, I don’t want to cry tonight. Make it funny.”

Four hums to himself, and you curl around your pillow, cradling the phone near your chest. “Right, here’s one. Bet you didn’t know I have a criminal record as an arsonist!”

He sounds proud of himself, and for the life of you, you can’t fathom why. “You what now?”

“It was my first charge, long before the cops ever figured out I was stealing, which I had been doing for years before this occurred.”

“How long have you been a thief, Four?”

“A long while… But that’s a story for another time. This is about fire lord me!”

You groan, rolling your eyes at the nickname he had given himself, while leaving a mental note to ask him about his past one day, when you weren’t in the middle of a mission.

“I was maybe 15 or 16, and was with this girl who I thought was made of pure heaven. I practically worshiped the ground she walked on, and daydreamed about her all day every day. To her though, I was a kid who was a year or two younger than her, and she just loved the attention, not matter who it came from. I knew she only spent a month with each of her boyfriends, but naive young me thought that maybe I could convince her to be with me forever. Spoiler alert, that didn’t work out. One night I decided to surprise her when she came home from dance lessons, her parents were out of town for the week, and I figured I would make a romantic evening for the two of us, and would allow her to be my first.” He pauses for a moment, as if wanting to see if you wanted to hear where this was going.

“It’s fine Four, just keep telling the story.” You giggle, shaking your head softly at where this was all going.

“Well I got super fancy, ordered takeout because heaven knows I cannot cook, even managed to nick a bottle of champagne from the local liquor store. It was cheap nasty stuff now that I think about it, but at the time, I felt very grown up. I lit candles all over her townhouse, there were some in the kitchen, bathroom, bedrooms and even the kitchen. I think I went through an entire matchbook that night. So finally she gets home, and I’m nervous as hell. Legs jittery, forehead sweaty, and look the exact opposite of sexy like I had hoped for. She’s all smiles, and even thanks me for setting up a lovely evening.  After we eat, she steps outside to have a smoke, and I clean up in the kitchen. The next thing I know, she’s shouting from the front door, and then the smoke alarming is blaring throughout the house. I run outside, and find her staring up at the second floor at her bedroom window, where billows of dark smoke are seeping out. Turns out, she had a cat I didn’t know about, and the fucker knocked down one of the candles, it landed near her bedroom curtains, and the flames engulfed pretty much the entire room. Cops and firemen came, shockingly they didn’t believe me when I said it was the cat. And the fact that I had been in her home without her for so long didn’t help my argument either….”

“Oh my goodness, so you were actually innocent? The cat got you a record?” You laugh, pressing your palm to your forehead.

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up. That cat is the reason I don’t do romantic anymore.” He grumbled playfully.

“Aw, and why’s that? Cat got your tongue?!” You chortle, you were definitely borderline tired now, because to you, that was officially the funniest pun in the world.

“Oh dear, oh no…. Eight that was terrible, please never say anything like that again.”

“Aww, come on! It was funny!”

“No love, no it wasn’t.”

There’s no use in arguing the point, you knew you were funny and that was all that mattered. “Fine, I’ll stop with the cat puns especially seeing as you’re not feline it…”

‘You are very annoying, you know that right?”

“Of course, but it’s part of my appeal!”

“Whatever you say. But I do think You need some sleep, because you sound hella tired right now.”

As if on que, a yawn slips from your lips, giving away just how tired you now were. “You may be right.”

“Good night love, good luck tomorrow. I know you’ll be amazing.”

You smile at his words, tracing your finger along the edge of the phone. “Thank you. I’ll see you soon, ok?”

“Ok.”

You end the call, and place the phone back on the nightstand. As you allowed your eyes to drift shut, you can’t help but feel just that little bit more confident that things were going just as they were planned.

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Check out my masterlist for all my other writings

Chapter Eleven here!

[tangleweave]

@brooklynislandgirl asked:

{Sinday # 12 & 13: Eddie} Perhaps the most satisfying thing about being friends with Eddie Brock is how very little expectation there is on his end. She's been in situations before where she's asked a co-worker or other associate if they wanted to spend time together, even something so simple as grabbing pizza and watching a movie, or hiking, surfing, any of the hundreds of things she likes to do to blow off steam or give herself a chance to relax after gruelling weeks as a trauma nurse, or in her own clinic as a nurse-practitioner and certified midwife. She knows a lot about birthing babies, just no practical experience making them, or even really being able to.  Invariably, though, there's some expectation of an end-of-date kiss. Or that by allowing someone into her house that she's also making the invitation for them to try to get into her underthings, her bed, her... everything else, which it never is. She's faced disappointment and anger because of that, stared unblinking into a familiar face while being called very insulting but ultimately inaccurate words. Eddie doesn't do that.

She knows now that their rooftop picnic had been a first date. That he was gently putting forth interest in spending time with her. Getting to know her on a more intimate level. But he'd done so as a friend. Any romanticism had been nearly accidental.

And each subsequent meet up carried the same breezy comfort. Eddie would no more demand anything of her than she would be inclined to chop him up and stick him in a freezer for later consumption. She would tease him that it's because she doesn't really eat meat. Even when he's caught her dead-to-rights stealing a piece of bacon right off the plate when he's making breakfast. Eddie is gentle. And as often as he seems down on his luck, there's something terribly sweet about him that appeals to her. So while he's sitting on what is rapidly becoming his side of the couch, game-controller between his hands and the muscles and veins there attract her like those little silvery things that people put on fishing lines ~lures?~ she can't help but lower the really rather torrid romance novel she'd been reading, at least enough that only her eyes peek out over the top of the pages. Hiding the fact that she's biting her lower lip and debating asking what she's about to. "Hey, Eddie?" Innocent enough a beginning and she waits for him to pause the game. "D'you evah...uhm... do... po... erotica? Like I know everyone say men are into dat kinda t'ing, and you're a man, but..." She waves fingers at him, a little pixie like gesture. "I don' wanna assume. But if you do...like wha' kind? Girl on Girl kine, or maybe boy on boy? Couples? Monsters an' barbarians an' swords? An' mebbe...d'you prefer it in like video? Magazine? Written?" She blushes then from roots of her hair down to the tips of painted toes, one of which seems intent now into burrowing itself into one of his thighs. "Like I don' know about mos' of it but...I seen some t'ings..."

It's the little things about their flourishing relationship that really make Eddie's day. At first, it had been the cups of coffee she had brought him in the chill of a San Francisco January, and the caring, slightly sad -- and yet never pitying -- smile that accompanied them. From there, it had been the gentle words from her lips, the questions she would ask him... and the way she would titter behind her hand when he offered searing rimshots on people who could afford to be taken down a peg or two. The way she would make eye contact with him and see a person, rather than just a homeless nobody. The caring way she would assemble a meal at the soup kitchen and offer it to him with not even one iota of judgment on her face.

And then, eventually, talking. Conversations that lasted a few minutes... and then a few more. Until one day had come along he'd nearly made her late to work. And so there had been the picnic... a terrified inquiry into her interest in getting to know him better. A hope beyond hope that it might be a first date, even, though he'd been careful, so very careful, not to allow his hopes to rise into the stratosphere like that, and he'd taken every step to be the perfect gentleman. The kind of guy a girl might actually want to get to know better... by being kind, respectful, curious, and above all, courteous.

It's been months since that fateful night. Months, even, since the first time she invited him into her place as shelter from unseasonable weather. Months of building trust and amiability between them... so much care taken in making sure there weren't deeper expectations. She's beautiful, yes, and within the palace of his own mind he can't deny feeling deeply attracted to her, but foremost, he is grateful just for the quality of her company. Of being someone, who saw him as equally someone. And their companionship takes many forms... up to and including him playing video games on her couch -- on her TV, on her gaming console -- while she reads.

It feels odd, that companionable silence -- and her permission to him to abuse the privilege of using her nice things -- should be such a valuable thing to him. And while it's easy for him to become engrossed in his escapism through her television, he never takes it for granted. On the contrary... his payment to her for such luxury is his instant attention when she addresses him. Because that's the only currency he carries in abundance, and it seems to be the currency she values most.

That's why, when her lips part and she speaks his name, he pauses instantly and turns to look at her with an openly curious gaze. "Hm?"

And then the question.

His eyebrows rise at the inquiry. It's out of the blue, or so it seems. He doesn't remember having any conversations regarding taboo subjects like erotica... and thanks to his Other, his recall is augmented to be better than most. But even without it, this is Beth, after all... he's certain he would have remembered talking about sexualized media with his crush.

"Uh." He lets out a small hiccup of breath that could be qualified as an attempted yet aborted laugh. "I mean. It's, uh... it's been a little while. Scrimpin' an' savin' every last dime, it's not like I can hit up the local Blockbuster, right?" He lets out another of those noises, sort of a scoff but without the dismissive quality. "But, I mean... yeah. When I was in better times. Of course it's somethin' I liked sometimes."

He feels himself get a little flustered as he responds. It's easier, though, for him to admit to it as a past activity than a present one... as if she would care? But it matters to him. "An' I'm not really one for guy/guy action. Guy/girl worked just fine. Girl/girl, too, I mean, it's hot."

He chuckles at the idea of roleplay being involved. "Nah, not so much into the monsters an' dragons scene. I kinda... I like the sort of thing where it's just two consentin' people who want each other. An' it could be hot an' fast, or it could be slow an' sensual. I dunno, I guess it doesn't matter, you never watch videos o' that stuff for plot, but actually, videos ran the risk of makin' me laugh. Can't take 'em seriously 'cause you don't see people actin' like that for real. Honestly? Pictures. Artwork. Or even stories written. I was a writer, right? If it's a video, it doesn't last the same way a single frame does, or words on a page. If it's a picture, you can take the time to appreciate everything in it, foreground or background. If it's written, you can read it as many times as you want, but you might read somethin' different each time."

The way her toe digs into his thigh makes him squirm just a little, and he puts a reassuring hand on her ankle as he gazes at her blushing face. A grin appears amidst his stubble. "Y'okay? Feels like that was as hard for you to ask as it was for me to answer."

[masterjedilenawrites]

The Helmeted Hunter: Chapter 25

Boba Fett x Reader

Chapter Warnings: Mention of injuries

AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)

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Chapter 25: The Exchange

The Slave I shot out of hyperspace, emerging just in front of a massive, triangular ship. Coming out of hyperspeed was always jarring, but this time it especially made your stomach leap into your throat. The might of the Empire could not be easily overlooked with such a vessel; it was no wonder they had been able to take over your planet.

"Ready?"

Boba had his armor and helmet back on, his voice coming through filtered and distant. He reached out and squeezed your hand, a reassuring gesture, but you could tell he was also steeling himself for the task at hand. Retreating back into his armor, becoming once more the aloof bounty hunter the rest of the galaxy knew him as. You wished you had some armor of your own to hide behind. Though you were ready and eager, you were also, quite frankly, scared.

"Ready as I'll ever be," you exhaled.

He let his hand linger on your yours with an intimacy that had only grown more comfortable between you in recent days. You would certainly miss it, but the hope of being with him once more, free and secure, would help keep you going.

"I'll meet you down below," he said, reluctantly letting go to steer the ship. The Empire was growing ever closer, looming in front of you, threatening to swallow you up. You didn't want to dwell, so you made your way out of the cockpit.

Breathe in, breathe out. You closed your eyes and tried to focus on that simple task for the next few minutes. Soon you felt the Slave I's inner gravity shifting as it laid itself down to land. When that familiar landing jolt came, you opened your eyes, staring at the ramp door with an odd mixture of dread and hope. Just outside were answers, but would they be satisfying? You had once been terrified of reaching this part, where Boba would hand you over to claim your bounty. You were still scared now the moment had come, just for different reasons.

Before your mind could spiral helplessly away, Boba clambered down beside you and began putting the old shackles on your wrists. They hurt now more than ever. Not only was there an inner soreness that would take many more weeks to heal, but you'd also had to cut back into one of the scars to implant a tracker. Boba had a personal rule against tracking devices, claiming such signals could be tracked both ways and he was too clever to ever compromise his own location. But an exception had been made for you; the risk of you disappearing was too great.

You only briefly took note of how easily you two had slipped back into old roles, he in his bounty hunting gear and you in your prisoner chains. It seemed like a lifetime ago when you'd last been like this. But then he tapped your chin gently, reminding you how far you'd truly come from being those people.

"Remember the plan," he said softly. "And good luck."

"See you soon," you whispered.

The ramp began to lower, letting in bright, florescent light. You were in a hangar much larger than the one on Crimson Dawn's ship. A row of stormtroopers were lined up on either side, and in the middle waiting was the Imperial Commander you'd once encountered, Orson Krennic.

Boba grabbed your upper arm roughly and pulled you after him down the ramp. You could see in your periphery he had his gun out, laying casually against his chest but pointed in your direction. You tried to keep your head down as he led you along, but it was difficult not to let your gaze wander around the vast room in curiosity.

"Boba Fett," said Krennic as you approached. He sounded even more condescending than he had before. "I dare say, I was surprised to receive your transmission this morning. Did your mysterious other deal fall through?"

Boba stopped a few feet short of the Commander, still firmly holding onto you. "Too much trouble," was all he said.

Krennic chuckled. "So it would seem. Yes, I've heard all about your entanglements with Crimson Dawn. Fighting like children over this bounty. Though I had hoped you'd be the one to eventually bring her in. I never did like Vos, the arrogant prick."

There was silence and Krennic seemed annoyed that Boba didn't want to comment and keep the conversation going. He stepped forward, but Boba jerked you closer toward him, the barrel of his gun digging into your shoulder.

"Payment first," he stated.

Krennic tut-ed and motioned to a droid standing off the side. It plodded over, carrying a case, which it opened to show Boba.

"One million, divided between Imperial credits and peggats, per your request."

Boba nodded at the droid, satisfied with the currency. He pushed you forward slightly, making room to grab the case. "She's all yours."

"Pleasure doing business with you, Fett," Krennic drawled.

A pair of stormtroopers came up on either side of you as Boba went back to the Slave I. In a few moments, the ship was flying out of the hangar, back out amongst the stars. You turned in time to watch it disappear into hyperspace.

And just like that, he was gone.

This was the part of the plan that had taken the longest to sort out; you two had stayed up late several nights arguing back and forth how to best handle it. The Empire couldn't have any suspicion that Boba would still be invested in you after the handoff, and yet, he hated the idea of having to return later to break you out, or track you if they chose to take you elsewhere. Each moment you were with them brought the threat of harm, and who knew if he could reach you in time?

One of the stormtroopers started removing your shackles, much to your surprise. Krennic looked over at you with a sort of smug grin that made you sense he knew exactly what you wanted to know but was having too much fun to tell you.

"Trouble, trouble," he said, coming closer. "That's all I've heard about you, young lady. I was beginning to think it wasn't worth it for us, either. But patience always wins out in the end. Doesn't it?"

He took your hands in his, examining the scars and scabs along your wrists. He squinted up at your face, assessing what other signs of mistreatment might be there. You'd had time to heal, sure, but you still hadn't properly showered, and there had been many sleepless nights while you fretted over plans with Boba. You knew it was enough to fool him into thinking you'd been a prisoner all along.

"Take her for inspection," he finally said, gesturing at the soldiers next to you. "Bring her to my office when you're done."

The inspection wasn't as invasive as you'd feared. In fact, it was more refreshing than anything. You were made to disrobe by a protocol droid before being sent through a quick rinse of soap and water. New clothes were given to you, a stiff blue jumpsuit with an Imperial logo stitched on the front, and the droid even wrapped some bandaging around the one wrist you'd re-aggravated for the tracker. There was another tracker, inside the former case of your music player that you'd put in your back pocket. The device was predictably discovered by the droid, who then passed it along to the stormtrooper that came to collect you.

Krennic welcomed you into his office, which looked more like a conference room, with a long table extending down the middle, windowless walls with florescent lighting emitting from along its border, and a small bar area in one corner where Krennic was presently pouring a drink. The stormtrooper handed him your music player before exiting, leaving you to stand awkwardly by yourself.

"Sit." It was more of an invitation than command. Krennic set his drink down and pulled out a chair, and that's when you noticed the plates of food in front of his seat and the one he was offering you.

You slowly lowered yourself in the chair, staring at him, not sure what to make of all this. You'd rehearsed over and over in your head all the things you wanted to say in this moment, but now you were at a loss. Was this a show, meant to give you a false sense of security? Or did the Empire want you for other reasons, not to be a prisoner, but something else?

You cleared your throat and forced out some questions. "So... what exactly do you want with me? Why the high bounty?"

Krennic chuckled as he looked at you over the rim of his glass. "Oh, you'll see soon enough."

See? What could he possibly have to show you?

[luvshuas]

sea salt

pairing - siren!jeonghan x reader

tags - supernatural!au + high school!au (for setting) + angst + bittersweet? fluff

synopsis - living in a seaside town came with its fair share of sailor folklore. the story that sirens, beautiful creatures from the ocean’s depths, walked among us was one of the many tales you were told, but they’re just stories, right?

word count - 3.1k

note - i posted this in october 2019 with another member for 9 hours and then deleted it the morning i woke up, but i think about it a lot and i’m quite fond of it

Did you hear there’s a new boy? Where did he come from? Why did he move here? I heard he ran away from home. I heard his name is Yoon Jeonghan.

You rolled your eyes as whispers of who the new boy could be floated into your ears. No one knew who he was, but he had already become the talk of the town. You couldn’t blame them; it’s not everyday someone new moved in. But the constant whispers of who this mystery boy was annoyed you nonetheless.

You continued the short trek through the school hallways until you arrived in your homeroom. The drafty room was fairly empty, save for the two or three students studying for whatever test they had that day. You mindlessly made your way to your seat. The rattling sound of the old heater settled in between the cracks of silence. You stared at the clock ahead of your desk. It was a pointless decoration seeing that the hands never moved off of 3:30. You wondered if your teacher ever noticed the frozen clock, or if he too saw it just as a decoration.

The headache-inducing school bell flooded its way into the speaker system, a dull reminder that the students had five minutes to wrap up their conversations and make their way to their homeroom. You fixed your gaze back on the clock ahead of you in an attempt to zone out once again, but as more of your classmates filed into the room, so did more whispers of who the new boy might be.

He’s in our year. I wonder if he’s handsome. Do you think he’ll be in our homeroom? What do you think happened to his parents? Maybe he doesn’t have any.

“Do you ever whisper about anything besides other people?” You mumbled quietly. The chatter filling the room didn’t last long as the teacher made his way through the rows of desks before finally landing in the squeaking chair behind his desk in the front corner of the room. Your classmates quickly found their way to their seats. You always found it amusing how much he scared everyone.

“Before I get any questions: no, there are no new students in this class. However, there is a new assignment.” His voice droned monotonously, earning a collection of groans as he explained the new assignment to the class. Your eyes drifted back to the clock as the teacher’s voice became white noise in the back of your mind. Momentarily, you wondered what it felt like to be stuck in one moment and relive it in a never ending loop. “To my knowledge the clock won’t give you instructions,” he spoke loudly, projecting his voice across the classroom to reach you within your bubble of thought. “Stay focused.”

Your ears burned red at the sudden call out. “I’m sorry.” You said meekly. The instructor nodded, continuing his bland explanation. Despite your attempts to focus, your mind continued to wander. You briefly let your mind wander to thoughts about the new boy. You thought about the whispers surrounding him, and a part of you felt bad. No one knew who he was and he was already either being lusted after by your classmates or pinned as a weirdo with no parents by the others. What a poor way to start your first day at a new school, you thought.

The bell releasing everyone from class interrupted your thoughts. Immediately the room was full of chatter and the sound of students shoving notebooks and pencils back into their bags. You pulled your bag onto your shoulders and began making your way towards the door of the classroom. Stepping out of the room, you noticed a crowd of students begin to form. You scoffed, expecting it to be another fight, but you didn’t hear the expected chanting of students trying to egg on whoever was in the middle to throw a punch. You slowly walked over to the growing crowd. However, as you got closer you began to feel dread pooling in your stomach. You watched the faces of the kids you spent your whole life with, but they seemed off. They seemed empty.

Shaking your head, you turned around to walk the other way. You didn’t know what was happening within that crowd, and you certainly weren’t keen on finding out.

____

As the days passed by you began to wonder if Jeonghan was a real person or just some made-up name used to create talk amongst the town. You at first figured you’d see him around the school, but as the weekend snuck up on you doubt that he exists began to tug at your mind. You didn’t want to ask around about him, not in a town where everyone knew everyone and asking about a boy might lead to an interrogation at home. But as the saying goes: curiosity killed the cat.

“Do you know anything about the new kid? Yoon Jeonghan?” You asked, trying to seem casual and uninterested. The elderly woman packing up the pastries you had just bought momentarily paused. Your eyes met hers, and you swore you could spot a sort of unease flickering in her eyes at the mention of his name.

“Stay away from him.” She said curtly. Her eyes bore into yours, daring you to ask more questions about this boy. You, left unsatisfied by her answer, accepted the dare.

“Why? He’s only been here for a week. He can’t be that bad.” You turned your gaze back to the wallet in your hand. Fishing out the amount you owed, you place the bills and coins on the counter. The woman slid the payment across the counter, back in your direction.

“It’s free today as a thank you to your parents.” She said, handing you the package of pastries. You accepted the package and placed the currency back into your wallet. As you turned to leave the little shop, you heard the woman call out to you, “Be careful!” Her request that you be careful sounded desperate, like she knew something you didn’t. You raised your hand in a short wave before taking your leave and stepping out into the chilly autumn air.

You pulled your coat tighter against your body in an attempt to block the damp air from reaching your body. Despite living in the town your entire life, you never grew used to the damp weather. In your eyes, the town always appeared sad and sleepy with clouds looming overhead nearly everyday. The same people you grew up seeing everyday didn’t look any different either. You supposed the town was doomed to always look gloomy, no matter if there was a new resident or not.

You walked slowly along the sparsely populated streets. You were in no rush to return home, and the slower you walked the higher your chance of bumping into Jeonghan. A part of you felt gross that you were willing to go through all of this trouble to meet this boy, but you couldn’t help yourself. Within a week, he had most of the town wrapped around his finger.

However, you kept thinking back to what the elderly woman told you. You craned your head back towards the shop you had left. By now it was already out of view as you had already turned a few corners. Sighing, you turned your head back forward, but it wasn’t enough to keep you from bumping into someone.

“Careful,” his voice was velvety. “Don’t want you getting hurt.” He held your shoulders in his hands, moving you to the side.

“Who are you?” You asked. Your mind felt completely separated from your body as you spoke. Every neuron seemed to fire towards speaking to him despite your mind screaming to continue walking. Your eyes trailed up his body until they landed on his face, immediately sending a wave a dread through you.

“I think you already know the answer to your question.” He smiled. Of course you knew. Everyone knew who he was. Without ever hearing the velvet of his voice, seeing the strangely beautiful features of his face, smelling the sea that seemed to radiate off of him, you still knew. You wished to know who he was, and now that your wish was met you weren’t so sure if that’s really what you wanted.

“You’re Yoon Jeonghan.” Your voice came out no louder than a whisper. His smile widened at the mention of his name. The dread you felt seemed to flow through you more urgently now, as if the mention of his name would bring nothing good.

Jeonghan said nothing as his hands dropped from your shoulders. With a smile still gracing his face, he walked past you. Your eyes stay trained on him until he turned the corner and disappeared behind a building. Once you could no longer see him you slowly began to walk again.

There was something strange about him, you decided, but, along with being seemingly strange, he felt magnetic. You couldn’t help feeling slightly drained as you walked in the opposite direction of him, but maybe you were just tired from the stress that came from school.

____

As time wore on, you noticed Jeonghan more and more. The first time you spotted him he was leaning against the wall in the school hallways, seemingly watching you. You pretended to ignore it, but his gaze burned right into you. The second time you were closing your family’s shop for the night. Your eyes had drifted across the street to meet what you assumed to be his, but the cover of night made it hard to tell. The third time you were waiting to cross the street when he appeared at the other side, also waiting to cross. You kept your eyes forward, but as you passed him you couldn’t help but sneak a peek at his smirking face. The fourth time -- or the current encounter -- you found him at the pier, his legs dangling off the edge as he sat on the rickety wood.

“You shouldn’t be skipping school.” You said, walking closer to him. Jeonghan’s lips tugged up into his usual smile, but it didn’t look the same. He turned to face you as you took a seat next to him.

“Shouldn’t you be listening to your own advice?” His voice sounded tired. You shrugged silently, keeping your eyes fixated on the waves. You felt some invisible force tugging at you, coaxing you to look at him. You had learned quickly enough to associate his eyes with the overwhelming feeling of dread that would course through you.

“The pier is an odd place to visit when you’re skipping. Most kids would go home.”

“I guess I just missed the ocean.” He said. Finally giving into the tug, you looked over at him. You couldn’t help staring at him. It would probably be unnatural if you didn’t stare, but as you finally allowed yourself to study his face you noticed the bags under his eyes, the paleness of his skin, the smile lines resting at the corners of his mouth. He wasn’t as perfect as you assumed he would be.

When Jeonghan turned to meet your eyes you expected anything but the feeling of relaxation to pass through you. You tried feeling unsettled by the sudden change in mood, but you couldn’t help yourself. You felt drawn to Jeonghan in a way that you didn’t like. The same way that the polar ends of magnets attract each other.

The warning the elderly woman gave you repeated in your mind. Stay away from him. Stay away from him. Stay away from him. That was a lot easier said than done. You noticed you were leaning into him the moment his lips met yours. The feeling of his lips molding against yours sent a new wave of calm through you. You felt untouchable; like you were in your own bubble and nothing could get to you.

Jeonghan let his lips trail away from yours to follow along your jaw and down your neck. The plush skin at your throat purpled easily as he worked it between his lips. Your hands tangled into his hair, stringing the soft locks through your fingers.

“We shouldn’t,” he pulled away from you, letting his lips hover over the mark blooming on your neck. “Not in public at least.”

You pulled away from Jeonghan as the feeling of dread began to form in the pit of your stomach. Shakily, you began to stand up. You didn’t like the way Jeonghan looked at you. You didn’t like the way you felt after seeing the longing  in his eyes. He didn’t reach out for you or say anything as you slowly backed away from him. He didn’t do anything once you turned around and ran. He stayed still, wondering if it was truly worth it. Wondering if he truly wanted to be another person’s demise.

You ran for as long as you were able to, only stopping once you started to stumble. You looked around to gauge where you were in town. Main Street. I’m on Main Street, you thought. You slowly started to walk again, heading in the direction of the elderly woman’s shop. Her warning once again rang through your head. You needed to know who -- or more so what -- he was.

“Welcome!” She greeted from somewhere in the back as the chimes above the door were knocked. Quickly, she returned to the front of her shop, though her smile faded once you came into view. “What are you doing here?”

“What is he?” You asked, completely ignoring her question. She looked you up and down until her eyes landed on the purple mark on your neck.

“What have you done?” She whispered, closing the distance between the two of you. Her fingers felt cold as they prodded against the mark on your neck. You could see the growing frustration in her face the longer she looked at what he had done to your neck. “Have your parents never told you the stories?”

“What stories?” You asked. You had heard plenty of stories from your parents, but you always played them off as myths used to scare you into behaving.

“Every few decades a siren comes to town when they’re close to dying. While they’re posing as people, they drain the energy of those around them until they can attach themselves to someone’s energy,” she paused, looking you in the eye. “And I think you can guess what happens to the person they attach themselves too.”

“Sirens don’t exist.” You mumbled. Your voice sounded unsure, like you were considering the possibility that what the elderly woman was saying could be true.

“He’ll lead you to a watery grave if you don’t get some sense into you.” She said harshly. Absentmindedly, you nodded. The longer you thought about it the more it made sense. Everytime you came into contact with him you felt drained and a feeling of dread filled you, but when you kissed him you felt none of that. “Go home, and stay away from that boy.”

You blankly stared at the floor as she turned you towards the door, giving you a little push. You felt conflicted. You were supposed to fear Jeonghan, but instead you were being pulled in his direction. But his direction could lead to your inevitable end.

____

The weeks you spent away from Jeonghan proved to be no help when you saw him standing across the street from your home. Upon seeing him, feelings of want flooded you. But so did memories of the warnings you got to stay away from him. Unfortunately your want for him outweighed the danger he posed to you, and in no time you were standing in front of him on the sidewalk.

“You shouldn’t have come out.” Jeonghan said. Hearing the words leave his lips felt like a slap in the face, but you were too far drowned in the thought of him to care. From the look in your eyes he knew he could’ve led you to the ocean right then and there. He’d be lying if he denied considering it.

“I know what you are.” You said in a hushed tone. Jeonghan smiled, though it appeared forced. He wondered how long it would take before you found out he was a siren, but it also confused him. It confused him because in the past when others found out he was a siren they’d run from him whereas you willingly came to him.

“Then you know I’m supposed to drown you.” You nodded. You were well aware that he would use to make his life longer. You found it wonderfully tragic. In exchange for the feeling of pure bliss when his lips would meet yours you’d give him your life. “Then you should also know that I won’t drown you.”

The irony of it all would’ve been enough to kill you. “Why?” You asked.

“Look at you, so willing to give your life to me. For what? A kiss or two?” Jeonghan laughed bitterly, raising his hand to run it through your hair. Your motives sounded pathetic coming from him. This must be what an addiction feels like, you thought. “Or maybe you’re hoping I know of ways to turn people into sirens. You’ve heard the tales of people turning into sirens, haven’t you? Is that what you want?”

You shook your head, “No. I just want you.” The desperation in your voice hurt him. His need for self-preservation screamed to accept you, to take you to the ocean and drown you. Jeonghan dropped his hand from your hair. “What’s wrong?” You asked quietly.

“Everything,” he whispered. “Absolutely everything.” Jeonghan let out a shaky breath as he began walking past you. Every bone in his body screamed at him to turn around. It would’ve been so easy. Just one kiss and he would’ve had you in the water. Just one kiss and he’d be alive for who knows how many more decades.

You watched as Jeonghan got smaller in the distance. You considered following him, seeing as he was clearly headed in the direction of the ocean, but you stayed put in the same place he left you. You weren’t too far gone in your want for him to recognize that you weren’t in love with him. You wanted him enough to die for him, but it wasn’t love. It would’ve never been love.

“What have you done to me?” You mumbled as a feeling of emptiness replaced the want. He was gone, and he left you craving more.

[notactivexx]

Loki x Reader

This took me way longer than it should have do to school, little siblings and little cousins. Sorry!

Plus, My other two request for the anons are almost done!

Warnings: I wrote i=this way too late at night cuz its my only free time and my editing skill goes down after three am sorry.

Requested by @scorpionchild81

how about a Loki x reader: after an argument, Tony makes a bet with Loki and Thor, who was the better seducer. Tony also wanted proof of progress in hand from the two gods... But what happpens when true feelings get involved and when heart really break? All ends up that reader slaps Loki yelling "A bet? I was just a stupid bet?!" Angsty, sad, fluffy - do the oneshot as you wish…

I made it Gender Neutral btw!

         The Avengers, and Loki, who had helped with their mission, were having a party in honor of their success. Usually there wasn't any sort of celebration, except shawarma, of course. However, this had been a very important mission, with two years of work and danger leading up to it. You were talking to Steve and drinking wine, oblivious to the conversation only a small distance away from you.

________________________________________________________________

        "So Thor, you found a girlfriend here on Earth yet?" The host of the party, Tony, asked the blonde god sitting at the bar.

      "I have not," Thor turned around to face Tony, slushing his glass full of Asgardian mead. Beside him, Loki snickered. "Not since I stopped courting Jane."

      "That's no surprise," Thor laughed.

      "You mock me, and yet I haven't seen you with anyone yet. Do not be so bold, brother," Loki took another sip of his mead.

      "I could take my pick of any man or woman here, if I were interested," Tony raised his eyebrows.

      "Oh really? You think you're the best seducer here?" Loki was unfazed by Tony's comment

      "They don't call me Silver Tongue as a jest, you know," he said.

      "Well in that case, Asgard must have pretty low standards. I'm clearly the best seducer here." Thor let out a hearty laugh.

      "But I have courted the most out of us! It seems that I just cannot be resisted."

      "And perhaps that would be impressive, if any of those courtships lasted for more than a fortnight." said Loki dryly. Tony smirked.

      "Well, there is an easy way to solve this," Thor inclined his head, looking interested, and asked,

      "Which is?"

      "A bet, of course. I suppose you gods have bets?"

      "But of course! We have the greatest, most dangerous bets. I remember once - "

      "And what do you propose we bet?" Loki cut his brother off. Tony took a minute to think.

      "Fifty bucks?" he suggested. Loki looked confused,

      "Bucks? Why would I need bucks? Seems like a nuisance to have around."

      "What? No, not the animal, the -" This time, it was Thor who interrupted.

      "I believe it is a form of Midgardian currency. The Dollars have several names," he looked at Tony for confirmation, "correct?"

      "Uh, yeah. Anyways, you good with that?" Thor and Loki nodded. "Okay. So, now we need to pick a person."

      "Why can we not each choose a different one?" Loki asked

      "Well I mean, it wouldn't exactly be fair that way? Like, one of us could get someone easy to seduce, say, Banner, leaving the other with someone harder, like Nat."

      "Maybe Maria Hill?" Thor shook his head soon after he spoke though. "No, that would be far too difficult, even for me." Loki scanned the crowd. He saw (y/n) dancing clumsily with Steve and Sam. He smirked. It was the perfect opportunity… He had been wanting to speak to you, but he was seized by a strong sense of nervousness when you approached. But now, if everything went well, he'd get to be with you. If not, he could just say it was a bet. It was perfect.

      "What about (y/n)?" When Loki made the suggestion, the other two turned to look at them as well.

      "That," Tony looked at the other two. "Sounds like a bet"

_____________________________________________________________________________________

        Three days after the party, you noticed something strange about a certain trio. Thor had been showing off, winking, and telling stories, most of which seemed very exaggerated, much more often. Tony had been flirting and using cheesy pickup lines almost non-stop. Although you usually took the time to flirt back, it was still rather confusing. Even more so when you were talking with Maria, who said she hadn't been experiencing the same things.

      Loki had changed too, but in a much more discreet way. For the first two days after the party, you would catch him looking at you. He would smile at you then look away, and occasionally raise his eyebrows when you saw him. One the third day you ran into the him on your way to breakfast, and he spoke to you this time,

      "You're looking lovely today. Is that a new shirt?" You blushed and looked at your (f/c) shirt.

      "Um.. Uh yeah.. It is." You stuttered your response, and to try to make up for the awkward words you gave him a nervous smile. He returned it with a smile of his own.

      "Very nice. Well, I'll see you around."

      "Uh.. Yeah. See you.. Um.. See you around." Watching you walk away towards the kitchen, he smiled to himself.

      They're so cute.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

        Two more days passed like this. Cheesy flirting between you and Tony, annoying flirting from Thor, and… Loki. He complemented you in the hall every morning. You wanted have a conversation with him, he was so fascinating, so you woke up earlier. Hopefully you'd meet him in the kitchen.

      When your alarm when off, you woke up immediately. Loki was probably the only good reason to do that. You hurriedly got ready, and rushed to the kitchen.

      "Looks like somebody woke up early." The god of mischief was sitting on the counter, eating a waffle. There was a book by his side.

      "Oh.. Yeah. I was hungry." He patted the counted beside him.

      "You can share my food if you want."

      "Oh.. Okay." You jumped up beside him and he passed you the plate. You took a bite and gestured to the book beside him. "The Silmarillion? I like that one." He smiled.

      "Yes, it is rather interesting. I'm about halfway through."

      "Has Feanor burnt the boats yet?"

      "Pardon?"

      "Never mind!" Loki laughed.

      "Don't go around spoiling books for everyone love." Love? Did Loki just call you love? He chuckled, "You're blushing." You blushed more.

      "Um.. No.. No I'm not! You're blushing." You were surprised to see that your statement was true when you looked at him. Now he was the flustered one.

      "I.. I'm not blushing. It's just.. A bit warm in here, that's all." You laughed and pushed a stray hair from his face.

      "Well, neither am I." You were looking right into his eyes. His beautiful eyes. You found a sudden burst of confidence within yourself. "You know Loki, you're.. Really handsome." He was blushing again. You had made Loki, the Loki, blush.

      "You're not so bad yourself." You looked at his hand. How would he react if you held it. You could reach out, all you had to do was reach for it…

      "Oh, just get a room you two"

      You and Loki turned around to look at the newcomer. Sam sat with his legs propped on the table watching you.

      "I - How long have you been here?" you asked. He shrugged.

      "Around the boat burning part."

      "Oh. Well, I guess I should go train now. Bye Loki." You hurried out of the room while Sam laughed at your awkwardness, leaving Loki looking slightly crestfallen behind you.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

        It had been two months. Loki and you were something like a couple, but nothing official yet. You held hands, and kissed a couple times, but as of now there was no label.

      "Hi Loki!" you ran to greet him in the hall. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he gave you a sweet kiss.  

      "Hello Darling." he smiled at you. "I was looking for you."

      "What for?"

      "Well, I need to ask you something." Your heart skipped a beat. What was it? Was it good or bad?

      "Yes?" you asked, worried about the response.

      "Would you.. Would you like to court me?" A slow smile grew on your lips.

      "Yes! Yes, I'd love to!" He smiled and kissed you again.

      "In that case, how about you meet me tonight for dinner? I'll take you somewhere fit for my Queen."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

         "Hey (y/n), Loki told us you two were courting. Is that true?" Thor had stopped you in the hall two days later.

      "Yes, it is." you smiled. However, Thor's and Tony's reaction was incredibly surprising.

      "Damn it!" Tony slammed his glass on the table. "He won the bet!"

        "Bet?" Thor laughed.

        "But of course you wouldn't know! Tony, Loki and I made a bet on who was the best seducer at the last celebration. It appears Loki has won!" You stared at him in shock.

      "I - Oh.. Okay." You rushed out of the room before they could see you cry.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

        You ran upstairs and pounded on Loki's door. You didn't listen for an answer, you just waited for him to open the door.

      "(Y/n)! What happened darling?" You pushed him back and slammed the door.

      "Don’t call me Darling!"

      "(y/n/n), what's the matter?"

      "A bet! I was just a stupid bet!?" Loki's eyes widened in realization. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

      "Oh no darling, no, you don't understand"

      "I understand perfectly!" You slap him, the echo ringing through the room in a satisfying manner, "You think you can just mess with my feeling and get away with it don't you!"

        "No no, that's not, no, I never meant to hurt you!" You let out something between aa laugh and a sob.

        "You have a funny way of showing it!" You started to cry freely. You didn't want Loki to see it, but you couldn't hold it back. Of course he never loved you. Just when you thought he might, he didn't.

      "Oh, my love, no, don't cry. You can hit me and punch me all you want, but I don't want to see your heart broken. Please."

      "You should have thought about that earlier." He walked closer to you, then tentatively pushed your chin up to look at him.

      "Listen to me, please." You were going to yell, but his eyes were filled with tears and sincerity. Maybe… Maybe he was bring honest

      "It started as a bet, yes. Well, no. I was attracted to you beforehand, but the bet gave me a chance to speak to you and a safety net if you didn't react well. Then.. Well then I spoke to you. You were kind, and beautiful, and sweet. You're the most perfect person I've ever met. I should've told you. Please love, forgive me."

      He looked at the floor and you hesitated. Both you and Loki were crying. After a few minutes, you took a deep breath and whispered a response.

      "Okay." He looked up

      "What?"

      "I forgive you." Loki looked into your eyes, and you looked into his before kissing each other passionately. His lips tasted like tea, and a bit salty from your tears.

      You never wanted to let go of him.

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

Teen Titans: Speech Quirks!

I came across a post yesterday that went into the dialogue quirks of a couple SU characters, and it made me realize just how much I wanted to analyze the verbal quirks of the core Teen Titans! (Taken from the 2003 cartoon, specifically.) I’ve always loved paying special attention to their spoken words while writing, but today, I’m actually going to compile the verbal trends I’ve noticed in each one. 

I’ve already gone into SO many details for my OCs, and maybe I’ll do one for them later. But for the canon Titans? Buckle up, kids, ya writer over here is HUGELY hung up on Characterization Through DIALOGUE!

Basic tl;dr: - Beast Boy has the “dude” thing, puns, quick emotional exclamations, and longer half-rambling speech when he’s excited. - Starfire has distinct ESL patterns (confusing idioms, mixing up similar words), Tamaranian vocabulary, and the (overused but still valid) insertion of an extra “the”. - Cyborg uses familiarity terms (”man”, “cool”, possibly AAVE?), technical phrasing, drops a “g” here and there, and the occasional emotional yelling. - Robin has a direct and decisive speech pattern, observations and follow-up questions, and directives/imperatives. - Raven uses brief/blunt phrasing, her mantra, succinct and honest commentary, sarcasm, dissembling, and the rare big word/concept.

(Commentary, sharing, and discussion are encouraged!)

And now for the essay portion of my treatise!

Beast Boy

Everyone knows about the “dude” thing. It’s probably the most iconic catchphrase of all, maybe tied with Raven’s “Azarath Metrion Zinthos.” ‘Dude’ is a lot more multi-purpose, used as a happy addition or a worried exclamation.

But he also uses a lot of other quick casual phrases, and slang (“My bad.” “No way!” “Nice one!”) He also makes a lot of quick not-really-verbal exclamations in emotional moments. (”Eek!” “Hey!”) Plus a lot of moans and groans rather than verbally professing his frustrations. He may not use a whole lot of words to talk about it, but he’s actually very emotionally expressive.

Even if he’s the least serious character in the cast. You really can’t write Beast Boy without the jokes. Puns are basically a must. (”Cyborg can do the robot!” “the great blue-dini”)

Even when not directly in joke mode: he uses a flippant tone most of the time, making light of even the most serious situation. He uses a sillier, simpler sort of word choice, using more familiar and brief words befitting a casual conversation, even in the heat of a mission or distressing emotional moment. (”Not only that, but something about this place seems really familiar.” “...being a total GOOBER!” “Terra took you down. WAY down!”)

But when you get him really excited, he can launch into long-winded explanations, like when he makes pitches (for his bathtub tuba or stankball), or when he’s theorizing (on how/why Robin would be working with Slade).

Starfire

Her unfamiliarity with the English language is one of my favorite things to phrase! But for other writers, it might be hard to pin that unfamilarity down without knowing which complexities of the English language real-life IRL speakers get tripped up by.

- Similar sounding words (when she says “here here, Cyborg” instead of “there there”) - Different prepositions (ESL speakers sometimes use “for” when Native speakers use “to”, “of” instead of “from”, etc.) - Words that would typically be omitted remain used because it’s grammatically correct, technically (for example, her addition of articles like “the”. Which has become overused in a certain Flash-ified show to the point of wearing out its unexpected amusement factor, but it’s still valid to throw in a fic every now and again.)

+ IDIOMS! Oh my gosh, this one’s fun. I can’t think of any examples in the show off the top of my head (an expression she might voice as “from the surface of my skull”). But I once wrote her saying, “Perhaps she awakened on the wrong side of the pillow.” She has the general idea of the saying, but: 1.) while “awakened” literally means the same thing as “woke up”, the connotation is different, and she’s unfamiliar with the exact verbiage of the phrase.  2.) Mixing up the sleeping implements there (”pillow” instead of “bed”). These things combine so you still know what she’s trying to get across, but it’s received just slightly awkwardly.

Even when she’s using her own verbiage: There are subtle transpositions in the way she orders her words. Like asking questions: She’ll often start with the subject, then the whole verb phrase, then the details, and skip the contractions. A question an experienced English speaker might phrase as “Won’t that hurt her?” could be transposed to “Will that not hurt her?”

She also uses some Tamaranian words, of course! Like IRL ESL speakers, she uses them in emotional exclamations (”You are a KLORBAG VORBLERNELK!” “Somebody’s claws are on my grebnaks!”). And randomly peppered words in casual conversation. (“these tunnels go on for at least [measurement I’m not sure how to transcribe]”, “for your thoughts, I would give two [currency maybe?]”) 

But you can’t confuse Starfire’s linguistic slip-ups with a lack of thought and feeling behind them. She’s very PERCEPTIVE, especially of emotional subject matter; the girl’s got a wicked high EQ, and it’s a big part of her character. She’s very honest in what she says, and very sincere and open about it, as well as prone to vocal emotional expressions (like frightened squeaks, feral yells, and shocked gasps). She’s also VERY emotionally expressive; even if her sentence structure is plain and direct (”No she will not”), there’s a lot of feeling in her tonal delivery.

Cyborg

This one brings a little duality, because he comes off as calm and casual at some times, and intensely emotional at others. Cyborg is a character of BIG expressions-- he’s very emotional, and he seems to feel things with his whole being. And he’ll readily flip modes whenever a reason arises. (While playing videogames, and in the lead, starting off with a broadly-smiling cocky “You can’t pass me, you can’t pass me!” And then dropping to a disgruntled “You passed me”.)

He has a very technical vocabulary too, and while he won’t use Unnecessarily Educated Phrasing in most conversation (read: his casual demeanor), when it comes to something technological, medical, or scientific, he really knows what he’s talking about. 

While I think this one is more prevalent in the comics: He does drop some “g”s at the ends of verbs in the show, too. I can’t think of any specific instances, but it’s a subtle pronunciation that colors his speaking.

As far as the content of his dialogue, he actually throws in a lot of little asides, like additions or conclusions to someone else’s thoughts, or surmising and theorizing. (”Maybe he had an extra remote. I mean we got, like, nine.”)

And there’s another thing: “We got” instead of “we have”, or “we’ve got”. Somebody correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that’s AAVE grammatical structure? While he doesn’t use it heavily, sometimes AAVE still comes through. (As I only have a passing familiarity with it, and I’m certainly not fluent in it, I can’t really go in-depth with the nuances of phrasing and grammar, but I know it when I hear it.) + And of course, the “like” in casual ~approximation~ usage.

Robin

His personality tends to come through very clearly in his dialogue. He’s very motivated and intense, and speaks mostly through ACTION. (What he’s doing, what someone else will do, how to respond, instructions, solution seeking, etc.)

He’s very analytical, very situationally aware, and makes a lot of verbal observations. And he’ll ask a lot of questions to deepen the subject, especially “why” when dealing with people, and “how” when dealing with missions. (Asking ”Why didn’t you tell us?” about a personal revelation, versus wondering how Slade returned to life.) He doesn’t give commands without having good cause.

He’ll often condense and recap mission objectives, and give directives with concise clarity. As the leader, naturally he gives plenty of instructions. Being a STRATEGIC leader (and person in general), he has a lot of reasons for what he’s asking or instructing, and will often share those reasons.

Sometimes he seems to talk more to himself than the others when he’s musing out loud, and we know (at least if the episode “X” is to be trusted) he has a rich internal narration going on, not just analyzing facts but also contemplating heavier subjects like morality and the consequences of his actions, and how it affects his friends/family.

His criticism can be heavy-handed too; especially in earlier seasons, he’s prone to angry or frustrated outbursts, and you hear a lot of grunting or sighing in those moments.

Raven

She’s my favorite to write dialogue for; Raven is very layered, often presenting the same in generally every situation, but when you manage to get her under emotional duress, you get a whole different array of speech modes.

Her default mode is very quiet, a woman of very few words. When she does speak, it’s sharp and to the point. (When she explained her adventure against Mad Mod by simply saying, “Gym.”)

She often makes sarcastic commentary (”A green mongoose is gonna blend right in”), speaking succinctly and bluntly. This side-commentary often comes with a critical attitude (”That would’ve been a lot more profound without the hat”). She’ll say what others won’t say, or face (”We cannot change the truth, no matter how much we dislike it”). 

As in that last quote, every now and again you’ll hear her spout a pseudo-platitude, the truth as she sees it, as a plain statement, 

But she’s also known to ask questions and make inquisitive commentary as well, also in few words but provoking much deeper thought.

She can occasionally be more verbose, particularly when she’s explaining something mystical, in her area of expertise (”Mixing my powers with his could destroy the dimensional boundaries and nullify all existence”). 

She’s also relatively verbose when she has something positive to say that someone needs to hear, too. (”Having that thing inside you doesn’t make you a beast. Knowing when to let it out is what makes you a man.”) 

For all her attitude and sarcasm, Raven can have some very heartfelt moments. They’re still pretty brief and succinct; even in softer happier moments, she uses poignant phrasing. (”So what’s the deal? Are we having a party in here or what?”)

I’ve also noticed that she has a habit of yelling out “NO!”, just a minor speech pattern worth noting if you plan to put her in a really stressful situation.

And of course: “Azarath Metrion Zinthos.”

~*~

As a parting note: I think it’s important to remember, when you’re writing dialogue, that every character’s mood, situation, and dynamic with the other character can change which speech mode they use. Raven and Robin have very different conversations from Raven and Beast Boy, and Beast Boy and Cyborg have very different conversations from Cyborg and Starfire. Robin yells out a delighted “Yeah!” at fireworks, but pulls out grunts and taunts in battle. Starfire is a pile of heartfelt mush around Robin, but a fierce kicker of ass in battle. 

These were just some generalizations of their individual trends, just as all communication in the world can change with mood, personality, and situation!

[lunarmoonflowyr]

Because I’m bored I’m going to write down a bunch of my passive thoughts on a new game I started playing and because once I start making streaming/youtube content related to viddy game I might make a video on this

Vambrace: Cold Soul Initial Impressions

Vambrace: Cold Soul is a game by Devespresso Games, an independent game developer based out of Seoul, South Korea who’s other notable titles seem to be a series of horror adventure games titled “The Coma”. 

Vambrace however, is a game far more akin to something like Darkest Dungeon in visual style and gameplay design however the Steam store page description has it claiming to be inspired by “the gothic fantasy of Castlevania, the deep lore of a series like The Elder Scrolls, the replayability of roguelites like FTL: Faster Than Light, and the sweeping, character-driven epics of our favorite JRPGs.”

This is going to be a small writeup of my initial impressions after 2 hours of the game. 

THE STORY SO FAR

We are a woman named Evelia Lyric, although she just goes by Lyric most of the time so that’s what I’ll be referring to her as throughout the rest of this writeup. Lyric immediately begins showing tell-tale signs of “JRPG Protagonist Syndrome”, as she:

1. Survives being passed out in a freezing arctic-like environment while wearing what could maybe be called clothing for a slightly harsh winter in New England, and comes out of it with barely any complications to speak of

2. Has an (allegedly) famous father who leaves her a Mysterious Book That No One Can Read, and the titular Vambrace, which is now apparently fused to her arm, that lets her pass through what the game refers to as the “Frostfell”, a massive magical ice barrier surrounding the city of “Icenaire” that apparently kills anyone who touches it. Apparently she can also one-shot evil ghosts with it, but only in the narrative. She did it in a cutscene once, and so far that hasn’t translated to gameplay.

3. Has so-far-unmentioned heterochromia

4. Gets a high-ranking soldier to trust her almost immediately when only one brief conversation ago he had a suspicion that she was a spy for “The Green Flame”, apparently some rival faction that’s very, very Not Good. 

Getting confused by all the random names yet? Trust me, it doesn’t really get much better. This game’s story shows a lot of the very painful signs of an over-written, over-developed fantasy world that someone very obviously put a lot of time and love into, but didn’t really know where to stop.

Names, places, and concepts are thrown at you non-stop with a new one being introduced almost every dialogue sequence if you spend time talking to the locals of Icenaire once you convince the guard captain to let you go wandering the streets. You can also find random lore pages strewn around the place that add even more lore on top of everything else. 

It all gets to be so dense and confusing you almost completely lose track of what the actual, present-day story is. The game has no trouble throwing random scraps of lore at you, full of names that mean nothing, but when it comes to actually explaining what the hell is going on right now, it falls a bit short. Here’s my understanding so far. 

Lyric’s father has either died or mysteriously disappeared, I can’t remember which, and she’s been left a letter, a book, and the titular Vambrace. The book is referred to in the game mechanics as “The Codex” and is referred to by NPCs as a “book that nobody can read”, because apparently foreign languages don’t exist in this world, yet so far I’ve counted 6 or 7 distinct fantasy races that apparently all speak the exact same language all the time. 

The vambrace has fused itself to Lyrics arm, and her fathers letter tells her to go to Icenaire (I have no fucking clue what that name is supposed to mean by the way, and it sounds really fucking awkward to say so it has to mean -something-. The “ice” part is pretty self-explanatory if a little on the nose, the entire game takes place in what appears to be an apocalypse along the lines of if you took the events of “Frozen” and turned it up to 11, but the only insight I could get on the “naire” part is that it’s from the Irish Gaelic word “náire” which means something along the lines of “ashamed” or “to have shame”. So this city is basically named “ice-ashamed”, which I have no clue what that’s supposed to mean, and it’s bothering me enough that I’ve gone on an entire run-on paragraph to rant about it because it sounds stupid to say and exactly like a city name I would’ve come up with for my crappy fantasy stories that I wrote when I was fourteen.)

Where was I again?

Right, okay, so Lyrics father instructs her to go to Icenaire (blech) and find some dude named “Zaquard Ventrue”. That name also means nothing, except as far as I can tell, “Zaquard” is the pseudonym of one of the people at Devespresso, and the first thing that comes to mind for Ventrue is Vampire: The Masquerade, and I’m not sure it really means anything there either. 

The naming system in this game seems really off, it has no consistency and a lot of it is really self-indulgent, because you find out that this Zaquard fellow (in the game) is the big head honcho of what apparently is some kind of resistance movement of the oppressive organization called “The Green Flame”. 

So Lyric goes through the “Frostfell” (the magical ice barrier thing around the city that allegedly is the cause of this whole Frozenpocalypse deal) by using the power of the mysterious Vambrace, and...passes out because of it, only to be found by a scavenging party in a tutorial section where the game teaches you how to play it using said scavenging party. 

More on that later. 

Lyrics unconscious body is dragged back to the city, she somehow hasn’t contracted hypothermia, and the next scene we’re given is an interrogation from some guy who’s last name is Esquire. 

I don’t think the writers of this game knew what the word “Esquire” meant, because despite traditionally appearing after a person’s name, it is not a surname, it is a title. So the strange and unconventional naming choices continue. 

Anyway, Captain Generic Man, Esq., interrogates Lyric for all of five minutes before believing her at face value that she has a magical super-gauntlet that lets her pass through this extremely lethal magical barrier, when he has all the reason in the world to believe that she’s some kind of spy sent by the people his resistance faction is supposedly fighting against. 

And instead of keeping her under close watch until she’s at least somewhat established some trust that she’s not a mole or a spy or an assassin, he just...lets her roam free, around the city. Completely by herself. With no supervision, whatsoever. 

As you can probably tell, I already have several problems with this games pacing and general overall writing quality, and we’re not even past the prologue section yet. 

Oh, yeah, and Captain Generic gives Lyric some free money for her troubles, because the player needs to know how the market system works and how to buy healing items, and we can’t be assed to have them come across money in a non-contrived manner. 

And the currency is really weirdly specific? Its this stuff called “Hellion”, which in real-person-language is a word for a malicious troublemaker or nuisance. But in the same setting where a city is named “Ice Shame”, “Hellion” is apparently some kind of magical incense that the fox people burn to appease their gods. 

Oh yeah there’s a race of fox people in this game. They run the markets. They’re less full on furries and more like regular humanoids, but with fox ears, a tail, and pointy teeth, so like that weird halfway “haha guys look I’m totally not a furry” deal thats basically just “catgirls but with a different animal”. 

Anyway. 

You’re given a fat stack of cash and told to go buy yourself some food from the market, because we need to give you a tutorial on how to buy shit. 

So you go to the market and are taught by a smooth-talking fox-man-person-thing how to buy things at a market, after which you are immediately spotted by the only guard in the city with an ounce of sense who instantly goes “Hey holy shit isn’t that the person that literally nobody recognizes in this city that’s been cut off from the outside world for presumably several years at this point and the only other known faction that has the resources to keep a human alive is one we’re actively at war with?” and throws your ass right back in jail. 

By the way, the things you can choose to buy at the market are all pretty typical JRPG items that heal stat debuffs, or are basically different flavors of health potion that restore different amounts of health, and for any seasoned JRPG veteran it’s pretty easy to guess what items do what and how they function (sort of) but there’s plenty of unique-to-this-game stat conditions and the way the health mechanic works is kinda wonky, and the game asks you to buy your healing items before it even explains to you how the hell that part of the game actually works. 

I’ll go more in-depth to the gameplay once I finish this story synopsis but I just felt like pointing out that at this point you’ve been walked through some of the basic mechanics of the game and some of the combat, but the part of the game that deals with debuffs and HP and how you deal with those things hasn’t been explained yet. 

This game is very weird. 

Anyway, during the attempt to throw your ass back in jail, some shit is going down in the room that has the elevator to the surface (yeah apparently this city is like, underground. They don’t actually explain why, or how, or if it was like that before the Frozenpocalypse or if the Frozenpocalypse buried it, and if it was buried, how the hell did it get excavated so cleanly like this and why are all the buildings intact? Whatever, apparently the game doesn’t consider this important, which is weird considering all the random lore tidbits it does deem important, so we’re moving on now.)

OH hold on let me backtrack a bit. While you’re being let out of your jail cell because Captain Generic just felt like it apparently, you walk up to this other jail cell with a goth chick inside it and you’re told she’s an Extremely Powerful Bad Guy, Do Not Fuck With Her. 

So, as you arrive at the elevator to the surface, guess who just made an escape and caused a spooky ghost person to invade the city and injure two people! That’s right, Spooky Not-So-Jailed-Anymore Goth Chick! Who’s name is Isabel Salazar, and it’s really saying something that that’s the most normal name we’ve encountered so far in this god forsaken game. 

So you’re now face-to-face with a spooky ghost. You think you’re about to get into a combat section, you’ve been taught how to do combat, but nope! Lyric just waltzes up to the fucker and smacks him in the face with her Vambrace hand and it...melts...him? Just, with absolutely zero fanfare? 

Uh. Sure. Alright. Weird, do we get some kind of special attack that hurts ghosts? Guess we’ll find out. 

So the guard who was trying to arrest you, a redhead with pointy ears who’s very obviously an elf but hasn’t directly been called an elf in-game yet so I’m not sure if we’re using that word but fuck it she’s an elf, who’s name is Celest. That’s all, I don’t remember if she’s given a last name. 

Celest is reprimanded by Captain Generic, Esq. for trying to re-arrest the possible spy who was let go with literally no actual forethought put into it, and she’s understandably miffed, and Captain Generic tells you to come meet him in the war room because “someone is very interested in meeting you.” 

This leads nicely into the scene where our protagonist meets the leader of this massive underground (literally) resistance movement, who, upon hearing our surname and being told we’re the daughter of Some Random Guy, immediately trusts us to go after Isabel and lead an expedition all on our lonesome with a party of random soldiers we get to pick from a “help wanted” board instead of, I dunno, maybe sending some actual soldiers with us. 

This leader is the previously mentioned Zaquard Vampire Clan Man, who looks exactly how you’d expect a self-insert resistance leader to look, a young white-haired anime boy looking dude who’s bangs cover his eyes and we can’t see them. And he has earrings. 

Farquaad here apparently knew about our dad, and our dad was apparently the lead researcher about Archons (?) and the Vambrace is an Archonian (???) artifact (also they spell it “artefact” in the game and I hate it, they also say “magick” and it makes me want to find whoever was in charge of writing this and punch them) so that’s why he trusts us now, apparently. 

We are then tasked with a mission to go retrieve Evil Goth Chick, who apparently is going to go tell these Green Flame fellows the location of our massive underground city secret base, which is somehow super duper secret despite being huge. 

Keep in mind that this entire game’s setting is allegedly one massive city, it’s not like Eragon where the big inside-the-mountain Dwarf city was kept secret from Galbatorix, because that at least had the justification of being halfway across the entire fucking continent from the Empire as well as being on the other side of a massive fucking desert. 

This is all apparently one huge city! And the “secret underground base” is kinda big itself! It doesn’t make sense that its some big secret!

Ugh, whatever, if I keep harping on about every bit of the narrative that doesn’t make any fucking sense when you think about it for more than ten seconds I’m going to give myself a stroke so now that I’ve caught you up to where I am in the story, let’s move onto the gameplay. 

THE GAMEPLAY

If you’re at all familiar with Darkest Dungeon (a much better game) the gameplay is most similar in style to that. You have a party of 4 adventurers, you walk through room after room of a connected “dungeon” except in this case its neighborhood streets and buildings, find treasure, manage the balance of treasure in your inventory vs healing and utility items, and you have combat. 

Let’s talk about the combat first, because its the part I like most about this game and the reason I’m probably going to keep playing it. 

Vambrace takes a similar approach to Darkest Dungeon in that each character has a certain number of skills at their disposal, being limited in use by where the character is standing in the party order and what position slots in the opposing party they can target. 

When you get into combat, the party orders will look like this, with your party on the left and the opposing party on the right. 

4-3-2-1-1-2-3-4

The skills are divided into three range categories.

- Short or melee range skills can only be used in position 1 and 2 and can only target positions 1 and 2 on the opposing side unless those two positions are empty, in which case they can target 3 and 4. 

- Medium range skills can be used from any position, but can only target positions 1 and 2. 

- Long range skills can be used from any position and can target any position. 

Some skills also take flourish points to use, and characters build up flourish points throughout encounters by using their basic skill. 

Different characters have different classes, which determine different skills they’re able to use. 

This is a basically solid combat system, as proven by Darkest Dungeon, however Vambrace falls short of DD in two ways:

The first is Darkest Dungeon’s position system, and its supplementary corpse system, work slightly differently. Position order is the same, however, there can be no empty spaces breaking the line. If the line would be broken, units that are furthest back move forward to close the line. 

So say you encounter 4 enemies, so positions 1-2-3-4 are all fully occupied. If you kill the enemy in position 2, the enemies in positions 3 and 4 will move forward to fill in the blank space, so now only positions 1-2-3 are occupied. 

This is mitigated in Darkest Dungeon by the corpse system, when you kill an enemy it leaves a corpse behind, which fills up the space and prevents the backline from moving forward. However there are several skills in DD that remove corpses as part of the effect. 

This opens up different paths to take in terms of strategy. In both Vambrace and Darkest Dungeon, the 3 and 4 positions are usually filled by the more deadly foes, the enemies that take those positions usually cause debuffs to your party or have a higher damage output. 

However, in Darkest Dungeon, you can either run a strong backline of your own and try to eliminate the opposing backline quickly, or you can run a strong frontline and a more supportive backline to try and take out the frontline, and then wipe out the corpses, pushing the backline units to the front and making all their skills basically useless, since most enemies that stick to the back in DD have maybe one attack that they can use in position 1 or 2, and it’s usually not a very good attack. 

There are also attacks in DD that you can use to force the enemy to shuffle positions, bringing the backline to the front and crippling them without even touching the tanky frontline. 

However, in Vambrace, positions are static on the enemy side. When you kill enemies in front, the backline enemies stay in the backline. This leads to a much more limited strategy, where you pretty much only want to focus the backline first, and the frontline afterwards. 

There’s also the matter of turn order. Characters with a higher Awareness stat (more on stats in a second) get a bonus on their initiative and can go higher in the turn order, beyond that I’m not actually sure what factors are involved in determining this. However, the turn order itself is transparently displayed in the bottom center of the screen during combat, telling you very clearly which position on which side gets the next move, which helps out a lot with planning out your encounters.

Once you get the hang of it though, Vambrace’s combat is still enjoyable, and I’d say the aesthetic and environment around it makes it different enough from Darkest Dungeon that I can enjoy playing both for different reasons. Vambrace far more embraces certain JRPG aspects, for instance. 

Speaking of which, lets talk stats. 

Before I do though I want to talk about one of my biggest gripes with the game so far, and that’s the fact that its interface is terrible. This game doesn’t have a menu for keybinds, it doesn’t let you re-bind things, and its control scheme is a little awkward to say the least. 

It also hides a lot of information to be only accessible in the tutorial pages, which you can access at any time in the pause menu, but it makes things tedious because this game has a lot of smaller things to keep track of.

Each character has 5 stats. Combat, Sleight, Merchantry, Awareness, and Overwatch, and each one has a different impact on the game. 

Combat is fairly self explanatory, it determines how good your character is at fighting. 

Sleight determines how good the character is at scavenging, and it affects the quality of loot you find in containers.

Merchantry affects buying and selling, the higher the merchantry, the cheaper stuff is to buy and the more people pay for your junk. 

Awareness determines how well you can avoid traps

And Overwatch determines how good your character is at managing the party during camping.

Your stats can also affect the outcomes of certain random events that can trigger throughout the dungeons, although I’ve only encountered a handful of them so far.

Speaking of camping, one of the most under-explained mechanics in this game is the camping mechanic, and my first and only death so far has been because of a failure to properly explain said mechanic, causing me to fuck it up 3 times before I did it right, and because camping is actually extremely vital to success in this game, it caused me to die and fail the mission. 

Any healing items in your inventory cannot be used on the fly, they are only usable during a camping session. You can initiate a camping session upon finding a suitable spot for one, which you can either randomly find in the generated rooms of a “dungeon”, or in between the “dungeons” on a mission in shelters where you get sort of a mini-camp session. 

A full camping session involves you selecting the character with the highest Overwatch skill to manage said session. You need to do three specific things to maximize your sessions effectiveness, and these things are not properly tutorialized and are easy to misunderstand or miss out altogether. When the camping session starts, the character you’ve chosen to manage the whole thing starts out by standing in front of the campfire, with an “interact” icon hovering above it. 

Do not interact with the campfire. It will end the camping session immediately and you cannot redo it, you will have to find a new campsite. 

Instead, you need to find the interact icon for sleep and the icon for music. The first one will restore the HP of your whole party equal to your session leader’s Overwatch skill provided it goes without incident, and the second one will restore the Vigor of your whole party equal to the session leader’s Overwatch skill. 

Oh. Right, Vigor. 

Vambrace has 2 health bars essentially. There’s your Hit Points (HP), and then there’s Vigor. HP works how you think it does, you take damage in combat or from poison or traps and if you hit 0 you die. 

Vigor is basically a worse version of the Stress mechanic from Darkest Dungeon, but instead of ticking up as your characters get more and more stressed out, their Vigor essentially goes down as you walk through the various dungeon rooms, and certain debuffs and traps can reduce it as well. 

Once you’ve done both a sleep and a music session, you then need to open up your inventory and use the appropriate healing items to cover up whatever those two things didn’t get. If one character was particularly badly hurt and needs extra patching up after a nap, do it with healing items now. You cannot use healing items outside of a camping session, so do it now. 

You can also only use status healing items here too, and status ailments don’t go away with a nap. 

Only once you have done those three things should you interact with the campfire again, ending the camping session and continuing on with the dungeon. 

The Other Stuff

The other reason besides the gameplay being interesting enough that I plan on continuing to play this game is that the art direction and the sound design are actually very, very well done, with a feeeeew small exceptions. 

Let’s start with the art direction. 

Visually, the game looks fantastic. It’s as if you took the visual style of Darkest Dungeon but made it more anime-esque and less horrifying, more pleasant to look at. It’s really pretty and well stylized, and is a style that will hold up visually even when graphical advancements outpace it. 

The character designs are also all fairly unique, if a little over-designed sometimes. You can pick out all the named characters on sight alone, they’re all visually distinct from each other and are easily recognizable. 

The sound design is also, for the most part, really really good. The ambient noise is a good quality, the audio is well balanced and none of it really grates on my ears, and some of it is actually pretty nice to listen to.

The music in the game so far is also good, and while I haven’t come across any tracks that made me want to just sit there and listen to it on loop for a few minutes, I also haven’t found any tracks that made me go “oh god oh god make it stop”

The only part of the audio I have a problem with is...the voice acting. It’s only shown up in a few very small cutscene bits so far, mostly the initial opening scene, but I can’t really put my finger on what’s wrong with it. The only character who’s spoken so far is Lyric, and I really am finding it hard to say exactly why her voice-acted dialogue bothers me, but it really grated on my ears and I was glad when the cutscene ended. 

I think it was a mixture of the quality of the audio, it didn’t sound professionally recorded although I’ll grant it that it wasn’t “Skyrim mod voice acted by the modder” level of terrible, but it still left a lot to be desired. The other part that got to me was just the style with which the actress was talking, however I can’t really pinpoint if it was just the stilted dialogue she was stuck with, if the direction was bad, or if she just didn’t really have much of an idea what she was doing. 

She had a very monotonous voice throughout, and while she wasn’t speaking flatly or like she was bored, it was moreso that kind of voice people give characters like Sasuke in fandubs, where they’re overly mopey and Serious™ which kinda takes the oomph out of lines that should have had the more somber tone. 

Overall Thoughts and Opinions

Keep in mind this is all based on the first 2 hours of gameplay, and that I’ll probably post a more detailed version of this (or make a video) once I’m either a lot further into the game or I beat it. 

I don’t hate the game. I think the writing is completely overdone and obnoxious, and has way, way too much lore and way too many things going on without focusing on the more narrow plotline, and I have a huge problem with the very very inconsistent naming scheme, but aside from those two specific criticisms, I’ve definitely seen worse writing. 

And it’s not like the characters aren’t endearing in that “this character 1000% slots into a very specific JRPG trope but I’m here for it” sort of way. I did enjoy what I got to see of Lyric and the other named characters, even though they were completely stereotypical and Lyric comes off as a bit of a Mary Sue. 

So far the writing is very flawed, but in a tolerable way. I’d much more rather play a game written with love and care and have the flaws come from human error rather than a game that was written by committee to be as bland and appealing to as wide an audience as possible without offending anyone. 

The gameplay definitely isn’t as deep as it could be, but the out-of-combat mechanics actually do require a lot of forethought and planning once you actually understand them. 

That’s probably my biggest criticism of the game outside of the writing, the game has a pretty decent tutorial that tries to explain everything, but the UI design and how the game presents its information outside of the tutorial works against that and forces you to memorize things and constantly refer back to the tutorial pages. 

There’s a lot of quality-of-life things that are missing that shouldn’t be. The ability to rebind keys, the ability to even check a simple menu solely dedicated to the keybinds instead of sifting back through the tutorials trying to figure out what fucking key you need to press for things is. 

There’s no hover-over information, on anything. The mouse does literally nothing, you could control the whole game with the keyboard. This is especially problematic when dealing with stat buffs and debuffs, because while you can open up your character stat menu in combat to check exactly what their debuffs do, you can’t open up an enemy stat page and are completely reliant on having memorized what icon corresponds to what debuff and what that debuff actually does. 

But if you can look past the cripplingly bad UI and inability to rebind keys, along with the weird writing, the game is actually fairly charming and does have a lot to offer, so I’d definitely recommend checking it out! I bought it on sale for about $16 USD, and if the game keeps up the current quality for a decent chunk of playtime, I’d say it’s worth it around that price. Probably not at full price though. 

[seelovesawlove]

Amour: Bachelor!Yoongi AU

Chapter 2: Mystery Boy

❖ previous (chapter 1), next

❖ index/masterlist

❖ warnings: pure fluff 

❖ word count: 2.9k

a/n: As promised, Yoongi is indeed in this lovely chapter! I apologize for the long anticipated wait, I hope you all enjoy :)

synopsis: Min Yoongi has been selected as this years, Bachelor in South Korea. In a house full of eligible women, you are faced with challenges along the way to win his heart. Will he offer you his final rose or send you home crying?

You checked your phone and noticed the time: 2 am. “Holy shit,” you said amazed at how fast time had flown by. You managed to stay in bed all day watching k-dramas, only getting up to go answer the door for room service. Pro: Relaxing, being a lazy bum made you slightly forget about yesterday's nerve-wracking experience. Con: You unintentionally skipped dinner so you were hungry as fuck. Your growling stomach could no longer hold off anymore, it was time to eat. You really wanted to try another dish from the menu but you knew that room service was probably closed for the night. Maybe there's a convenience store around here somewhere I could pick up some ramen you thought to yourself. You pulled the curtains from your window and looked at the view until you spotted a store with a four-leaf clover on its logo. “Just my luck,” you said while slowly closing the curtains back in its original state.

Since this was technically your first time going out alone in Seoul, you didn’t wanna look like complete shit. So you put on some light makeup and threw on an outfit that looked casual but stylish. You headed out of the room and began walking down the street towards the ‘lucky’ mart. As you walked the streets of Seoul, you noticed how beautifully lit up the atmosphere was. With the lights flickering here and there, smoke coming from food trucks, and people strutting about, knowing exactly where they were going. You couldn’t help but feel out of place. From the outside looking in, you certainly didn’t look as though you knew where you were going or like you belonged in Seoul. You were a foreigner indeed, inside and out.

You managed to arrive at the convenience store, internally giving yourself a pat on the back for not somehow getting lost along the way. As you entered the store, you began searching for the ramen section. When you found the aisle, you picked up the first one you spotted. You didn’t care what flavor it was you just wanted to devour it. You turned towards the end of the aisle and spotted a cooking station with a microwave and sink. You prepared the ramen and popped in the microwave, and waited patiently for it to finish.  when you first walked into the store so you went there and began preparing my ramen. you popped it in the microwave and waited for it to be done. As you waited patiently, you remembered walking past the drink aisle so you went back there and grabbed a bottle of water.

Beep! Beep! 

Hearing the sound of the microwave go off and you went back to grab the cooked ramen. Once you grabbed that, you headed towards the register. "Annyeong," you said, greeting the cashier. The old man behind the register looked at you without greeting you back. Instead, he rung up the items and as soon as he was done, he began speaking in Korean. 

"I—I," You said panicking, "I don't speak Korean, only English. I’m sorry."

You’d always had a sort of anxiety when it came to buying things at the register. Like having the feeling of your card declining on the spot and you have to run back to the car to see if there’s any spare change in there. But this, this was definitely different. You didn’t understand any Korean besides a few greetings and the cashier already decided to dip out on the opportunity to use any greetings, so you were screwed. Sure you converted your money at the airport, but you didn’t know much about the Korean currency. You had no idea how to actually count it.

He looked at me confused and pointed to the monitor that had the price of the items. You began digging through my wallet and just took out a rough estimate of what you thought the total could be.

"Uhm, is this enough?" You asked waving the money up for him to see.

He shook his head. A frown began to form on his face as he spoke in Korean again but with an angrier, stern tone.

"Ok-ok I’m sorry. I swear I have more—"

"Don't worry. Let me handle it," said a husky voice from behind..

You turned to look at his face but he was already moving ahead towards the cashier. You only could see the back of the mystery man but you noticed he was wearing a black hoodie, ripped jeans, vans, and black hat. He began speaking in Korean to the now fed-up cashier. Who is this guy? You noticed him reach into the back pocket of his jeans and pull out his wallet.

"No, you don't have to do tha—"

"Please,” he said raising his hand to stop me from interfering, “Allow me." He handed the cashier the money and grabbed the bag with the water bottle in it and your steaming hot ramen. He turned towards you, eyes not meeting yours just yet and handed you the items. You grabbed the items from his hand and tried to look into his eyes but he turned away again. Before he could walk out the store you said, "T—Thank you.”

"No need to thank me. I noticed you needed help and I just so happened to be here so," he said modestly.

You walked out of the store and caught up to his pace. You noticed that he also had ramen in his hand.

"Are you eating alone?" You asked trying to spark up a conversation.

"Yeah, I was just going to head to the park down the street and eat."

Should I offer to join him or is that too weird? No, the least I could do is offer since he bought my meal, you thought to yourself.

"Well, since you paid for our ‘nutritious’ snacks, the least I could do is accompany you," you offered spontaneously.

He stopped walking and so did you. He turned and looked at you, feeling your heart began to race. Oh shit, did I say something wrong? Why'd he stop walking? You normally would never offer to eat with a stranger but you felt like it was the right thing to do...even if you were in the risk of dying from a potential serial killer.

"Sure, why not," he said calmly. You finally caught a glimpse of his smiling eyes. I mean that’s all you could look at since he was wearing a black dust mask. They were dark, familiar eyes that had a unique shape. Those eyes, they were the kind that looked into your soul.

You followed him down the street to the park which you noticed on the way to the convenience store earlier. If you needed to escape, the hotel was nearby.  But you’d hope it wouldn’t come down to that, you were having a good time. The two of you walked towards a low lit basketball court that had a bench centered on the side of the court. As you both sat down on the bench, you looked around: there was absolutely no one in sight. You wondered if he often came here alone to eat ramen in the middle of the night.

You placed your bag beside you and took out your chopsticks. You began eating your now warm ramen. You looked up to take a glimpse of the low lit view. At the corner of your eye, you noticed the mystery man checking his phone. He then slowly took off his mask while looking down. Curious to see his face, you turned to have a look or two.

It. Was. Min Yoongi.

Your eyes widened as you looked at his stunning face. He looked even better in real life. 

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 

Thankfully, he was still looking at his phone, so he didn't notice your reaction. You were staring until you noticed him lock his phone and set it down beside him on the bench. Waking yourself up from the shock of Yoongi sitting right next to you,  you forced yourself to cough a little and quickly turned away.

"Are you alright?" he asked sincerely looking into your eyes.

"Y—Yeah I...I just ate a bit too fast, that's all, " You said laughing and staring straight ahead, not making any eye contact.

How did you not see this coming? Yeah, you’d noticed his voice and eyes were familiar but what were the actual odds of the two of you actually meeting each other in the middle of the night like this? You assumed he’d be at the Bachelor mansion preparing for the night of his life, meeting several gorgeous women for the first time. You weren’t supposed to meet this way. Not like this.

"So what's your name?" He asked, taking a bite out of his ramen.

There was no way you could reveal yourself, especially if you might actually be on the show. You had no choice but to lie.

"Call me … Mystery Girl.” Out of all things you could have said, this is the only thing that came to mind. Well done.

"Okay, that works...I suppose," he said laughing.

"Yours?" Obviously, you knew the answer, but you had to act as if you didn’t have a clue. Yoongi stopped eating his ramen and set it down. He shifted his body to turn towards you. He had a confused look on his face.

"You really don't know?"

"Nope. Tell me your name.”

He shook his head and giggled to himself softly.

"Alright then, call me Mystery Boy," he said, forming a smirk on his mouth that drew you in. What a tease. You smiled and paused for a moment.

Continuing, "Fair enough, so what brings you out here at," You checked your phone to tell the time, "almost 3 in the morning, Mystery Boy."

"I'm always out this late," he said sternly as if it was something important that he wanted you to know about him. He then continued faintly, "Everyone's mostly asleep so it's quiet."

"Yeah, it is pretty quiet,” you agreed, “It's nice."

"What about you?"

"Well, I'm a uni student that's been in Seoul for about a day and I already started craving more ramen," you pathetically laughed and took another bite of ramen right on cue.

"Ramen truly is a stable for all uni students," he said laughing. "What year are you in?"

You didn’t see any harm in revealing the truth so you proceeded, "I just finished my third year so I start my last year of uni in the fall. Right now, I'm on summer break for a few months and I decided to come to Seoul to-" You stopped talking before you accidentally told Yoongi why you were really in Seoul for the break. Yoongi noticed how you suddenly stopped talking so he pried a bit to try and get you to finish what you were saying.  

"To..?"

"To explore the city," You replied. Nice save.

"Ahh okay," he said.

"What about you? Any plans for the summer?"

"Oh, uhm..." he said trying to think of a way to answer that question best, "I plan on finding love."

You laughed a little before taking another bite of ramen. You didn’t think Yoongi would just reveal that so soon, especially to a stranger but tonight was full of surprises.

He laughed, realizing how weird and desperate he must sound telling this to a woman he just met. He noticed your reaction and continued, “L-Let me try and explain. I've been given an opportunity of a lifetime to find love but…” he scratched the back of his head, “in an unusual way. I'm not really supposed to reveal it yet but that's all I can say."

His way of trying to describe the opportunity of being the Bachelor was adorable. You could tell that it hasn’t yet completely settled in and that’s okay. It made your heart warm inside. The butterflies began to flutter as you thought of the possibility of sharing that opportunity with him to fall in love.

"Okay, and when does this so-called opportunity begin?" You said, continuing to act clueless yet curious.

"In a few days actually," he said, looking down, sounding indifferent.

"You should be excited but your voice is telling me otherwise. Are you not excited?"

"I would be lying if I said I was," he said still looking down, not meeting your eyes, "It's just, I'm a bit nervous."

"Aw, why are you nervous?" You asked sincerely.

"I know this opportunity is going to get a lot of attention from so many people...and I'm also a little afraid of getting my heart broken, again." He was talking about Eunae, the previous Bachelorette that sent him home right before hometown visits. You could feel that he was still a bit hurt by that, and rightfully so. You’d followed him throughout that journey and you remembered watching that break up on tv and you wished you could have hugged him. And now that he was right beside you, confessing his hurt in real life, not on a television screen, you wanted to hug him. But you couldn’t. Not yet.

"That's completely understandable," You replied, "But that's just one of the many fears of love, I suppose."

"Yeah, love sucks," he said, half joking.

"It does, but it's also quite beautiful, don't you think?" You asked looking into his eyes smiling.

"In some ways, yes," he said returning that smile.

You paused for a moment, thinking of something that would help him realize he was making the right decision.

"Listen, you may be taking a risk getting your heart broken but think of the other risk you're taking: the risk of falling in love again." He looked up to the sky and chuckled.

"Got me there. You know you're pretty wise Mystery Girl." he turned to look back into your eyes.

"I've been told I have an old soul many times.”

The two of you laughed at the same time. You continued to talk about miscellaneous things while eating the rest of your ramen. A part of you felt like this could be the last time you would ever talk to him, ever see him. But for now, you wanted to make the most of the moment you shared now and talked to Yoongi as if there were no tomorrow.

❈ ❉ ❊ ❋

"So I guess this is where we part ways," he said. The two of you walked back to the front entrance of the park. The sun was beginning to creep into the dark sky and you knew it was time to say your goodbyes.

"Yeah, I guess it is," you sounded a bit sad but you couldn’t help it. You wanted to continue talking to him but you knew it was late. You had to part ways. "Thank you again for th—"

"Please, stop thanking me," he said laughing, "It really wasn't that big of a deal. If you’re gonna be in a country and not know how to speak the native language, you should at least learn how to count money and read the labels." You couldn’t help but start laughing uncontrollably. Yup, there’s the savage, blunt Yoongi you remember seeing on tv. You were honored to get scolded from the man himself.

"You're right. I’ll do my research," you assured him, "But seriously it's just, I don't know anyone here and your kindness just really made my night." You paused, waiting for him to say something other than that smirk forming on his face. But silence filled the air for a moment, Yoongi not saying a word.

"There’s no hope for a dumbass American like me. You should just leave Seoul, is what you really wanna say. Gotcha," you said teasing him.

"No? I mean, yes..? Wait no, stop it! How dare you try and pry into my thoughts!” he said laughing, “I'm leaving bye." He turned and began to walk away.

"No, wait, come back," You said laughing. You grabbed his arm pulling him back towards you. He turned around and came so close to you that the two of you were facing each other, eye to eye.

"I'm back," he whispered.

"You're back," You whispered back, feeling yourself sweat a little because he was so close. Your eyes fell down towards his delicate, pink lips. At that moment, you longed to kiss his lips more than anything. "I'm happy that I could make your night,” he whispered softly. You looked back up to meet his eyes but his focus was somewhere else: on your lips. It was clear that he wanted to cave in just as much as you did. He wanted to taste your lips and become breathless. But he couldn’t. We couldn’t. We stared at each other for few seconds then backed away from each other slowly breaking eye contact.

"Uhm," You coughed and said, "I should head back to my hotel."

"I could walk you back if you'd like, I don't mind."

"No, you've done enough, really," You said reassuring him, "I think I know the way back from here."

"Right," he nodded his head understanding his boundary, "I'll head out then.." He scratched the back of his head, there wasn’t much else left to say. A simple goodbye would have been fine but you both sensed that there was a connection. A connection that had just bloomed but would now have to wilt all at once.

"I'll see you around, Mystery Boy." You smiled, hoping to get a glimpse of his.

"Yeah, see you around, Mystery Girl,” returning a final, mesmerizing smile.

You both turned different directions and parted ways. As you walked to the corner of the street, like a movie scene, you turned back to look at Yoongi walking away, hoping you’d lock eyes once more.

But he continued to walk further away until his dark essence faded out of sight.

[mccurdykirkeby74-blog]

XVG Wallet Download

My approach for you to cryptocurrency investing is a bit boring... I seem at the principles regarding the project, the group, its competitors, etc. so I prevent losing income on my investments. IF YOU WOULD RATHER FOLLOW OFTEN THE HYPE TRAIN, THIS IS NOT FOR YOU. Around this post, I will be smashing down the fundamentals connected with Fence and evaluating in the event it is the best suit for my profile. (Obligatory "this is not expenditure advice, do your individual research" warning here) a single. Price Proposition In that group, I actually attempt to be able to detect exactly what often the Verge project is, why it is important, and even what cost it offers to the Blockchain field as a whole. Whenever this depends upon aides tacks, Verge is usually a privateness coin. That uses this same technology intended for covering recipient's identity that Monero does; Stealth Contact information. Inside fact, both coins use the same criteria, detailed within Verge's "Blackpaper"... Capture. PNG Monero and Verge change in how they cover this sender's identity, however. Monero uses an innovative ring signature technology, while Verge is attempting to be able to utilize TOR together with I2P technologies to accomplish that process. My partner and i don't need to get for you to mobile phone by the technological variances, as that could always be its own post, although it is worth noting of which Verge has certainly not finished bringing in TOR together with I2P into their platform still. Overall, It is my opinion the need to have for privacy is evident, and the utility of private purchases is previously mentioned average, so I presented Verge an 8/10 because of this category. 2. Organization and Team In this classification, I take a new appearance at the scale the team working on the particular project, asses if they will are competent associated with rewarding their promises, and when that they are proud of their do the job. Verge is a good open source task, and even, because it is a new privacy coin, it makes sense that the guys and women involved want some invisiblity, nonetheless the size regarding the team appears to be much smaller than the Fence Blackpaper suggests: 2. PNG It is evident when shopping at the GitHub database for the project (where they keep all this Verge code). According in order to the Blackpaper, there will be 28 active developers with regard to Edge. According to often the GitHub, being nice, right now there are about 8: 3. PNG If you rely adding 10 lines of code to a assignment in some sort of whole 12 months an "active" developer. All round, it is clean up Fence has a new very little set of active developers, who will be all anonymous. It is definitely hard to own confidence at the continued growth of the project because connected with this. We offered Edge a 3/10 in this particular category. 3. Growth hcg diet plan Roadmap In this group, I try to butts how the team is carrying out in regards to completing objectives troubles roadmap or even making advancement in often the code. As you can see in the carry on section, not much development has got been done in the last year in relation to the particular Fence project. From my researching, the idea looks similar to most of the work done in the last season was to release the new Blackpaper to try to breathe lifestyle back directly into the project. When you even so have doubts, just glance at the image below, which specifics the code development in the past year. (I think the particular recent spike is incorrect, but I could not really verify that. ) 4. PNG As a new end observe, it is not necessarily supposed to look that will scarce. Especially for a new project that is supposedly under active advancement. It probably will certainly not surprise you that they are dropping powering on the roadmap published within the Verge site: 5. PNG There happen to be 2 days eventually left within Q4 of 2017, better get coding! Me not sure why My partner and i have scored Verge so high with this category, now that I am critiquing this again, but I offered Edge a 4/10 in typically the development category. five. Lieu Value In the coin value category, I actually prefer to look in how the lieu is actually used in the circle together with the monetary policy around the coin. Verge is a proof of work coin, similar to Bitcoin, yet the idea uses a 5 various criteria method to even more reduce centralization regarding mining power. I cannot converse with the efficacy of this particular technique with regards in order to reducing centralization, nonetheless it is not a narrative approach. Many other gold and silver coins make use of a similar 5 criteria proof of work system. There are sixteen. 5 million, that's right Thousand with a N, Verge gold coins. There is a 0. 1 XVG cost per transaction which usually goes in order to pay miners. Verge statements a 5-10 subsequent financial transaction time with a throughput of 100 transactions for each second. We am uncertain if this is a consequence of to the relatively little size of the Verge system, the 5 criteria proof of work system, or even other technological advantage regarding Verge, yet My partner and i uncertainty it is exclusive to help this coin. Overall, the number of Verge coins is substantial, nonetheless there is a fixed give. I considered Verge was typical in this category, and I provided them a 5/10. a few. Competition This classification is pretty do it yourself informative. I actually found a terrific Steemit article here the fact that specifics all the different level of privacy coins and their skills and flaws. I is not going to go into the facts in this posting, yet it can be apparent to my opinion that a lot of projects are really trying to tackle typically the issue of unknown purchases on the Blockchain. Due to the fact Monero also uses typically the core Stealth Address technological innovation found in Verge, it is hard to offer Baguette a great score with this category. I ended up offering Verge the 4/10 or even slightly under common scores in the competitors category.

six. Price That is probably going to be the most popular class in this whole evaluation. "Why do the basics associated with some sort of coin matter when you might get rich off of the idea anyways? inches Smh... I want to go alongside with this thinking trying to examine the greatest prospective cost Verge could see. Below is a overview of coinmarketcap. com regarding today. six. PNG Most of us can see Dash (another level of privacy coin) is rated on #8 with the worth of just over $9 Billion. Currently, Edge is rank #20 with some sort of valuation of $2. a couple of Billion. Let's point out that Verge became typically the top privacy tableau, in addition to it has the valuation grew to $10 Billion. This would drive Verge just earlier mentioned Rush in terms of market place limit. That would turn out to be a jump around 450%, which is not necessarily unprecedented in the crypto globe. Provided that Verge's current price tag is about 15 dollars, this would insert Edge at 60 pence for each coin. This is rarely the next Bitcoin. In Windows Verge Core Wallet Download with most of my questions about the principles regarding the project, I find out the industry is irrational, in addition to Baguette could pass Sprinkle with regard to market cap. A 4x return is rather delicious, thus i gave Brink a slightly above average score in the price group 6/10. 7. Community In this particular category, We will become assessing the size, understanding, and way of thinking of the Verge area. Please don't crucify me personally! For the analysis in this category, I generally looked at typically the sub-reddit sizes for this particular coin. three or more, 300 Readers - https://www.reddit.com/r/verge/ 29, 000 Subscribers -- https://www.reddit.com/r/vergecurrency/ These kinds of are pretty mean in the crypto world. For a coin that is normally being hyped like goofy. The overall know-how plus mindset of a community is very hard in order to judge, and so take this specific with a grain regarding salt. But the general sensation I had after reading some posts inside these communities was that individuals were getting in on this coin to chase profits. It doesn't inspire very much self-confidence through me, individually. Overall, Fence earned a good 3/10 in the neighborhood group. 6. Reputation Standing, or maybe how the larger Blockchain community views this task, is definitely also largely the summary category. If you perform not feel I i am being fair, I actually welcome you to score these kind of categories for yourself. From our experience, the standing of this Verge venture is slightly below working. If you were being in order to ask a random person on Blockchain message boards about Verge, they would possibly explain to you the idea was over-hyped and that the technology doesn't deliver for the project's promises. We was depressing to look for that was the situation during my research. Verge received a a little below regular 4/10 within the reputation category. 9. Partnerships It is definitely not really uncommon to get Blockchain projects under growth in order to not have virtually any partnerships with other companies, as those usually form following your project finishes developing modern technology. Verge has little or no meaningful partnerships to speak involving, outside of a small number of providers that accept their very own currency: 8. PNG But , My partner and i can not hold this particular towards the project as well a lot of. Verge earns the working 5/10 in the relationship category. 10. Risk The particular final class We consider when looking in spending in a cryptocurrency is usually the risk profile. To be able to accurately rating some sort of piece in this type, anyone must consider the opportunity on the project (how really hard it will be to complete), competition, plus the talent of the team working away at the project. Successfully doing Verge can take important advancement, plus from the previous segments, it is apparent this development workforce for Edge is nearly non-existent. For this reason, I take into account Verge to be above average with regard to its chance. Verge brings in a 3/10 in the threat type. Total Score: 45/100 Typically, I like to devote in projects around this 80+ variety. I assume it goes without saying 45 significantly falls beneath my conditions for investment. I hope anyone observed the article helpful, and perhaps learned a bit concerning the Baguette project. Usually do your own personal due persistance before making any expenditure! If you desire observing my own review, as well as just simply want to listen to the lovely voice, check out our video review in this article:

[imagineclaireandjamie]

The Break Up

Part 2.2:

The taxi from Glasgow airport to the central was spent in utter silence. Claire’s flight had been turbulent and agitated. Once she’d raced through the airport and had been boarded, she had sat, wiggling her foot nervously. At least three times during the flight, Claire had changed her mind as to whether she should actually go to the hospital. It was ridiculous. She was on the plane now, it would be counterproductive to land in London only to turn around and go home again.

Once she’d disembarked one plane and been ushered onto the next, Claire had finally accepted her decision. She’d caught a glimpse of London as they flew further north and her heart calmed, her subconscious quashing any final reservations.

As the blue and white glow of the hospital sign came into view, Claire held her hand over her mouth in an attempt to stop herself from throwing up in the back of the cab. Squeezing her eyes shut, she battled with the panic as she paid, the British currency seeming so foreign between her fingers.

“Thanks,” she whispered as she gathered her luggage and sloped into the A&E entrance.

It was quiet and calm as she strolled down the all but empty entrance corridor towards the reception desk.

“Hi,” she said, addressing the nurse hovering by the desk, “I’m looking for a James- ah, Jamie Fraser? I’m Claire Beauchamp, someone called me about him.”

Nodding, the nurse's eyes went wide as she took in Claire, cold, disheveled and plainly well traveled. “Aye, I ken the man. It must have been Carol who called ye, said ye seemed fair fashed by the situation. You’ve come here from America then?”

“Y-yes, I needed to make sure he’s alright,” Claire added, feeling the need to justify her existence. Jenny had certainly been here and knew she’d been contacted from the look on the staff nurse's face. Claire’s stomach flipped and the chicken dinner she’d been fed on the plane sat like concrete in her belly.

“Aye. Well, he’s along here. Did ye want to follow me, lassie?”

Nodding, Claire pulled her suitcase behind her, hiking her rucksack over her shoulder as she tugged her coat across her chest. The walk felt like forever, and yet the halls were still familiar to her as if she’d only been here yesterday. Although she’d work in Inverness general after her training, Claire had begun her internship in Glasgow. Concentrating on that, she forced away the feelings of impending doom as she walked closer and closer to Jamie.

“Here,” the nurse pointed, her thumb stabbing towards the only open door on the private corridor. “Careful though, Ms Beauchamp, he’s in a bad way.” “Is he still stable, though?” Claire returned. She’d seen victims of road traffic accidents many a time so she had an idea as to the state he might be in. But his external appearance wasn’t her issue.

“Och, aye. The Doctor has cleared him for internal bleeding now. He’s still no’ awoken though. We weaned him from the drugs keeping him under a few hours ago but he’s a stubborn one.”

Claire smiled, her eyes welling with tears as she glanced towards the door, “he is, that or he’s enjoying the break. The calm before the storm.”

The nurse made a very clear Scottish noise, nodded and tipped her head towards the door. “In ye go then, lass. Just dinna gi’ him too much of a shock, ken?”

Claire bit her lip before taking her leave of the nurse without another word. Her energy levels were dipping and she’d need the rest to face Jamie - if he woke during her visit. She entered the room with added caution, sliding her suitcase into the corner before turning round slowly to face Jamie.

Tears welled in her eyes and fell down her cheeks as she looked over his prostrate form. The tubes and wires flowed from his left forearm but there were significantly less than she’d imagined there would have been only days before. An oxygen tube still sat sloppily under his nose and the heart monitor beeped softly in the background as she rushed to his side and fell to her knees.

“Oh...Jamie,” she sobbed, her hands skimming over his bicep as her tears fell against his ashen skin. He was pale, paler than she remembered him to be but his skin was also marred by cuts, welts and bruises.

Bolting upright, Claire felt a miniscule movement that pulsed through her fingers where they lay on Jamie’s arm. It was small but purposeful, enough that her eyes were focused now on Jamie’s closed ones. His eyelashes fluttered, the subtle shadow of his thick lashes moving gently against his cheeks as his lips twitched.

Claire felt her heart lurch as her fatigue suddenly fell away replaced by utter shock. She’d known it was a risk, her coming here. She had known that he could and would most likely be awake at some point during her visit but Claire had envisioned having some time to prepare for this moment.

Stepping back slightly, Claire held her breath as she watched the careful flickering of Jamie’s movements. First it was just a few twitches here and there, but then he swallowed and moaned audibly, his tongue peeking out from between his lips to moisten them. Knowing it wouldn’t be long before he opened his eyes, Claire held her hands steady twisting the ring she’d received from her mother after her death around her finger.

“W-what happened…?” Jamie croaked, squeezing his eyes together as he tried to shift himself into a comfortable position beneath the mass of wires and blankets.

Claire knew that he probably wouldn’t expect her to be there, but she was the only one in the room. Swallowing back the vile taste that had taken root on her tongue, she started to speak knowing that once she’d opened her mouth there was no going back.

“You were involved in a hit and run, from what I’m told…” Claire whispered, her quiet voice carrying across the almost silent room. She watched as Jamie clenched his unhindered left hand against the sheets of the bed, his eyes flickering beneath their lids as he realised that it wasn’t the nurses or Jenny talking to him.

“Claire?” He asked, his voice low and gravelly from disuse.

“Yes, Jamie. It’s me, Claire.”

“It’s sae good to hear yer voice again, Claire.” Jamie added, before Claire could continue.

Sobbing, Claire put her hand over her mouth to stop herself from crying out loud. His words warmed her, but she knew things would be different once he started to regain full consciousness. It was clear that he missed her from Jenny’s cutting words and the fact that he’d left her as his emergency contact, though her prolonged absence had long lasting consequences.

“It’s good to see you again, too,” she replied finally when she was sure that her voice wouldn’t abandon her. “I didn’t-- well, I wasn’t sure y-you’d want me to come…”

“Dinna be daft,” he sighed, “I’m glad s’you who’s here. Jenny would yank my balls off fer being so stupid…” he continued with a splash of humour in his tone.

“She told me,” Claire responded, giving Jamie a chance to roll over and open his eyes whilst she explained herself, “Jenny did. We met in Boston accidentally and she told me about the trial. About how they managed to get the case thrown out. About your innocence.” “Aye,” he replied, his blue eyes locked on her whisky ones - tears welling on the bottom lids as he watched hers water too. “They worked hard, Jenny and Ian. They paid a m-man...a guy called Ned Gowan. He was incredible.”

Claire nodded, the first of her tears falling, making damp tracks down her cold cheeks. “I shouldn’t--”

“Neither should I, Claire,” Jamie cut in, his face twitching in pain as he tried to sit up. “But we dinna need to werrit about the past now, aye? It’s done.”

Pushing the tips of her nails into the palms of her hands, Claire held back from saying anything more. So much as she wished their paths had been different, he was right, there was no going backwards now, only forward. Licking the salt of her tears from the corners of her mouth she shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she smiled sadly across at Jamie.

“I’m still sorry for it, Jamie.”

Resting his head on the thick pillow, Jamie closed his eyes for an extended period of time whilst Claire stood awkwardly close by. Smiling to himself, he revelled in her quiet company, his mind bringing up all of those happy moments before captain Randall’s arrival in Inverness.

“I hope ye dinna think me rude,” he began, changing the topic of conversation, “but what brings ye back now, Sassenach?”

The pet name he used to use for her rang in her ears long after he’d finished talking making her heart miss a beat. Having been by herself for so long, Claire had nearly forgotten all of the tiny warming feelings that being close to another elicited within her. But now, here, in the presence of the one person who’d set her alight all those years ago, those memories were slowly resurfacing beneath her skin.

“I got a call from the hospital,” she replied as soon as she was able, “I’m your emergency contact still.” Shrugging her shoulders, Claire tried to make light of it but it was clear from the inflection in her tone that it wasn’t as blase as she was making out.

Before Jamie could question her any further there was a flurry of activity at the door and Claire took another measured step backwards as Jenny, Ian and Jamie’s uncle Murtagh came bounding into the room, wide smiles plastered on their faces.

“You had us worried sick, brother!” Jenny half-screamed, her voice almost bursting Claire’s eardrums as she tried to make herself blend in with the background.

It was Murtagh who noticed her first, his brows scrunching together as he clocked her, hunched shoulders and all, hovering by the small window. “Claire,” he asked, his voice guarded as he whispered the question, “is that you, lass?” He didn’t seem altogether displeased by her sudden arrival, but Claire could tell by the look of abject horror that crossed across Jenny’s face that not all of the Fraser’s would be pleased by her sudden appearance.

“Yes, Murtagh,” she replied quietly, “it’s me. How are you?”

Sweeping her up in a bone crunching hug, Murtagh pulled Claire firmly against his chest and held her tight. His large hand found its way into her hair and he kissed her heartily on the cheek before placing her back down again. “Weel, my girl,” he said, “yer certainly a sight for sore eyes. How have you been?”

“She’s fine, Murtagh,” Jenny snapped, incredulous that Claire seemed to be stealing attention from Jamie. “Two arms, two legs and still breathing I hasten to add.”

Balking at the venom hissed in her direction, Claire bowed her head and made to collect her belongings. “I’m s-sorry for intruding,” she returned calmly, “I’ll go now.”

“No…” Jamie perked up, his voice still sounding small in amongst the much louder pitch of his sister, brother-in-law and uncle. “Please,” he continued, as he pushed himself upwards only to flop back onto the bed. “Ignore Jenny. Stay, Claire.”

Jenny’s eyes went wide at the dismissal of her concerns and she went red in anger. Focus locked on Jamie once more, Claire tried to rein in her emotions as she tried not to notice Jenny and the rage bubbling beneath her less than cool surface. She hadn’t flown all the way to simply leave and that part of her that wanted to show how sorry she was ached to remain close to Jamie in whatever capacity he’d have her around.

“Are you sure, Jamie?” She asked, clearly shocked at his outburst. He’d never outwardly defied his sister in front of Claire when they’d been together. The sight of her restored to him, though, had obviously given him some courage in the face of the eldest Fraser.

“Aye,” he returned, “ye’ve travelled all this way.”

“Alight,” Claire said, “but I’ll go and check in now, if you don’t mind. I’m sure you have plenty to catch up on without me.” The bashful hint to her tone made Murtagh smile sadly in her direction, but Claire could tell that Jenny was about ready to burst. If she didn’t leave now, she was certain to get a mouthful from the bawdy Scot.

“I’ll walk you out, lass,” Murtagh added cheerfully, patting Jamie gently on the shoulder as he helped Claire to pack up her belongings.

Quirking a smile over at Jamie, Claire followed Murtagh out of the crowded hospital room. “I’ll come back tomorrow, if you don’t mind?” She asked, wanting his permission now he was awake.

“Aye, I’d like that.” Jamie replied as Claire disappeared nodding as she went.

Walking closely by Murtagh’s side, Claire remained silent, drinking in the calm quiet of the man as they trudged closer to the reception of the hospital.

“I just want to say one thing, Claire...” Murtagh finally said as he passed Claire her suitcase back.

Holding her breath, she awaited the disappointment speech from him. Murtagh had been the one to convince Jenny of Claire’s goodness when her and Jamie had first gotten together. Although not actively victimised by Jenny’s sharp tongue, Claire was an outsider in the Fraser’s world especially in the beginning. But one talking to from Murtagh and all side glances had stopped.

Of all the Fraser’s, Jamie aside, Murtagh was the only one Claire had felt horrid leaving behind with no word.

“...and I don’t want anymore ‘sorrys’, aye?”

“Alright,” Claire answered and then went quiet.

“Dinna leave us wi’out so much as a goodbye again, ken?” He said, his bushy brows meeting in the middle of his forehead as his eyes held hers, seriousness coating his face.

“What if Jenny murders me in my sleep?” She joked, a pleasant shiver of acceptance rolling through her at Murtagh’s words. She’d always known how much affection Murtagh had held for her, but he was a man of few words and never actively told her how much she meant to him. Those few sentences proved that even time apart hadn’t dulled his devotion to her and it warmed her heart.

“Ach,” Murtagh chuckled lowly, “do ye think I’d let her do that? But in all seriousness, Claire, we’ve missed ye...a lot.”

Holding her hand over her chest where her heart was steadily beating beneath her ribs, Claire climbed into a taxi and nodded at Murtagh as the door closed behind her. As the cab drove off towards Claire’s hotel she began openly sobbing for the first time since she’d landed on British soil. The emotions of the day spilling over as they battled the late evening Glasgow traffic.

Whatever had gone before, Murtagh had given Claire some hope. Nevermind the mistakes that had been made on her departure those four years ago. Hidden in the relatively safe confines of the small car she felt buoyant. Jamie was awake, he had asked her stay and she was certain that, despite some misgivings, she would be able to fix it. Holding Ellen Fraser’s pearls close, Claire breathed in a deep, soothing breath.

She *would* fix it.

[passions-project]

JIMYGOYAMS Day 2: The Princess Bride

An kind of analysis and review of The Princess Bride novel with comparisons to the classic movie.

Spoiler warning, especially for the book, I would think that everyone has seen the movie by now. Go watch/read both, they are worth your time and I recommend them both. Review over go read it. Just kidding, it’s shitty analysis time.

The Princess Bride: S. Morgenstern’s Classic Tale of True Love and High Adventure, the “Good Parts” Version Abridged by William Goldman (quite a mouthful) is a meta fairytale by author and screenwriter William Goldman. Goldman is most famous for writing the screenplays for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and The Princess Bride. Yes, he wrote the screenplay of his own book, which I think is quite interesting, and a good choice, but more on that later. The movie itself is embedded into popular culture as one of the most quotable movies of all time. I have seen and loved the movie myself dozens of times and know most of the lines by heart. In my nerdiness I even have an “Inconceivable!” pin and a “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die” shirt. As I read those iconic lines of dialogue I couldn’t get the actor’s inflections out of my head. In some ways I was getting another Princess Bride experience out of reading this book for the first time. Yet the book is not quite the same, and uses different framing devices of Westley and Buttercup’s story in order to make meta commentary about different things.

Framed stories are (after a trip to wikipedia) a literary device that presents a contextual story for another story or multiple stories within it. It basically sets up the real story(ies) with the context of which it is being told by characters in a different story. It can clarify the narrative and give us insight into how the narrator views the events of the story. A common way this is used is when a character accounts what happened to them in the past, and we receive their opinions on the events that happened in the context that they already know how the story goes. In The Princess Bride book, the story of Westley and Buttercup is told as if William Goldman is abridging a historical book by S. Morganstern, which was read to him by his father when he was ten. Goldman gives the book to his son, and when the son doesn’t like it, he finds out that his father cut out the boring historical documentation and only left “the good parts,” the meat of the adventure and romantic narrative. So Goldman, in an attempt to connect with his son, sets out to abridge it like his father did and leave only “the good parts.” Throughout the story, Goldman inserts himself and his abridgement choices in italic glorified author’s notes (seriously, think my immortal but with slightly more relevance), contextualizing what was cut and giving more insight into his family life. All of this is a fabrication, just as fictitious as Westley and Buttercup and entirely his own creation. Florin, the country that the story is set in, is not real and the name is based on an old currency, as is Guilder, the neighboring country (as said in the wikipedia page for this book). So why is this complex frame story even there? Because meta. 

What the fuck even is meta???

Meta comes from the greek prefix with the meanings after, with, among, beyond, self, and is used today to talk about things that reference themselves (seriously wikipedia is a godsend, especially when I’m still writing this at 11:30). Meta has sprung into popular culture and has created the monster that is the self referential satirical humor of the age of the internet. It automatically raises the bar of pretentiousness of the humor or conversation in which people try to be smarter and therefore funnier than their peers. Yet it has been around far longer than the internet and is actually funny and can make a statement, like Goldman does. Meta when it’s not couched in pretentiousness and elitism is an interesting narrative device and is useful in deconstructing or analyzing something, but it doesn’t make anything automatically better. It is a tool and it can be used by good or bad craftsmen. If every character was like Deadpool and every TV show was a Rick and Morty rip off then it would get boring. This argument should be saved for another day so I won’t go into my opinions any further.

Goldman uses this meta framed story to discuss the world of publishing and copyright, and family. Goldman doesn’t publish his own reunion scene because it’s an abridgment and he’s only cutting stuff out and not adding things in. He can’t release it because the estate of S. Morgenstern has copyright allegations with Goldman. The whole abridgment process was taken up so that he can connect better with his son, which he has a somewhat tenuous relationship with. His relationship with his wife is not good either, and in the introduction (the real one, there are three in the 30th anniversary edition), which sets up the frame story, he almost cheats on her, but doesn’t because he’s so focused on getting his son a copy of the unabridged book for his tenth birthday. A main theme of the book is that life isn’t fair, and Goldman explains why Morgenstern wrote an ambiguous ending, even though Goldman thinks that the characters got a happy ending, but one not without troubles. This is not the same story as the movie, but who would watch a movie with commentary about publishing and copyright?                 

It is interesting to note that in the film there is a reunion scene, and that there is an unambiguous happy ending. By changing the frame story there are dramatic consequences to the themes of the film. Instead of abridging the story, the story is being read to a boy who is sick in bed by his grandfather. This calles back to how Goldman first encountered the story in his childhood, according to the book. This framing story, while similar, slims down the frame in order to make a better film. It also creates different commentary, as the boy, who is not sure about the whole romance thing, or the reading thing, nevertheless gets invested in Buttercup and Westley and wants them to get a happy ending. This is the audience surrogate character, and I think that it is more powerful when that audience is adults, rather than children. Adults have lost their belief in fairy tales and true love, but are still swept up in the spectacle and love conquers all story. As adults, we are given a place to escape and indulge in these notions, so a life isn’t fair lesson doesn’t fit here.

The movie is a cult/culture classic because it adapts to the methods of film and doesn’t keep any of the conventions that better served in the literary medium. Goldman is an interesting writer because he was prolific in many forms of writing including fiction, nonfiction, screenplay, and theatrical plays. Most of his nonfiction is an examination of hollywood and screenwriting, of which he is most famous for and prolific in. He is aware of the what conventions and tools work in each form of writing, and adapting the meta narrative of The Princess Bride was a smart choice for a tighter and more enjoyable movie. I still really love it, and with time I might say one is better than the other, but for now they are different enough to warrant some real thought into the matter. Usually the book is always better, but the adaptation of the material to fit the medium of film gives the book a run for its money.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

These Inconvenient Fireworks

A morgue romance, between the skeptic and the stoic. 

The Doctor Blake Mysteries, Matthew x Alice. Also on AO3.

How often had she thought about him here, not unlike this, while she completed mundane procedures? How often had he lingered here longer than necessary, watching her with those heavy-lidded eyes? How carefully had they avoided even the most innocent of touches…knowing it could lead them to this?

Matthew Lawson ruined everything.

She liked her life, just as it was. Everything in order, everything…settled. Many years spent struggling to fit in had taught her that she simply wasn’t capable of doing so, no matter how she tried–so she stopped trying.

Life was easier, once Alice accepted that she would spend it alone.

She had her hobbies, and her work, to keep her occupied. And she had good friends in Lucien and Jean, people she knew she could visit if she got too lonely. That was something she valued, greatly.

If someone had asked, she would have been able to honestly say that she was quite content, just as she was. Maybe her world lacked excitement–maybe she’d dreamed of something slightly different as a girl–but she had never seen the point in wasting energy on regrets.

Until him.

He was a very attractive man, in a stoic sort of way. She’d always been drawn more to those on the edges of crowds, those who looked as awkward or annoyed by people as she often felt. Matthew was exactly her type.

Not that it mattered, of course. They had a polite, if distant, working relationship, which was as it should be. Not everyone could be as sweet as Jean Beazley…and heaven knew, very few men were as kind and friendly as Lucien Blake.

So perhaps she took a slight interest in Superintendent Lawson, above and beyond the paperwork they shared, but there was no harm in it. If her eyes followed him out of a room on occasion, or she had to hide a smile when he drawled insults in that halfhearted way of his, no one was the wiser. She’d kept bigger secrets, after all.

But the infuriating man just couldn’t leave well enough alone, could he?

He started talking to her, during morgue consults, about more than the day’s dead body. Asking her about her life, her interests…waiting expectantly for her to return the favor. That gruff manner of his slowly gave way to something more intriguing, something she found impossible to resist.

His friendship.

It turned out that Matthew Lawson was a decent conversationalist, when he felt like it. She would be up to her elbows in an autopsy and answering him in monosyllables, only to realize that twenty minutes had passed and he was watching her with the quirk of a half-smile as she detailed her study of poisons.

Another man would have cut her off, redirecting the conversation to his business or sports…more than one man she’d encountered in her lifetime had simply walked away when they tired of her chatter. But not Matthew, whose patience extended well into her tendency to ramble when nervous or engaged.

No, he just…listened.

And smiled.

And asked new questions.

Eventually, she grew more comfortable in his company, enough that she didn’t always wait for him to say hello first. When she visited him at his desk, bringing paperwork that could have waited for a deputy to retrieve them, he smiled at her with just his eyes–and she realized that slow shift must have been his goal all along.

She cursed him all the way back to the morgue, for finding her weak spot and making such clever use of it. There was no way for her to un-learn now what a good man he was, or how slyly funny. She couldn’t erase the pictures her mind had taken of him comforting a widow; restlessly running his long fingers across the back of his neck; watching her with solemn eyes that captured her reflection.

If he had moved along a predictable course, followed the steps she recognized as leading to courtship, she might have been able to tuck him away in a tidily labeled box in her head, and politely declined an invitation to dinner or a show.

Matthew, though, was like no one she had ever known.

Lucien Blake, for example, was a man with an aesthetic appreciation for the world around him. The moments he took out of his day to notice things like her new haircut, and compliment her on it, just came naturally to him.

And she knew he didn’t mean anything by it–he had been visibly, almost desperately, in love with Jean Beazley for as long as she’d known him. It was sometimes painful to watch, in fact, as she felt a sort of big-sisterly affection for the man. They had a lot in common.

But Matthew…when he met her in the morgue and told her she was looking “very nice today,” Alice had no idea what to make of that. She was in her usual lab coat, her hair wasn’t styled any differently, and he had seen her in that dark blue blouse several times before. There was no reason for him to make a point of flattering her, either–Superintendent Lawson was not the sort to use compliments as currency.

So she thanked him, and continued her work–but she worried over it, turning the moment around in her mind while she should have been asleep, remembering his smile as he said it, the way it crinkled quietly joyful lines around his eyes. He had looked at her that way.

It was baffling.

They shared tea laced with whiskey at his desk after hours, both of them reluctant to go home to cold, dark rooms. Nothing particularly interesting happened while they sipped, though their silence was companionable. Alice couldn’t remember the last time she had enjoyed the quiet so much.

One night, not long after Lucien and Jean had announced their engagement, Matthew came to ask her a question about that day’s autopsy report. But after she answered him, he didn’t go away. When she finished washing her hands and turned, stepping away from the sink, Matthew was there, so close as to almost be encroaching on her personal space.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, sliding past him and taking off her lab coat to hang it up for the night.

“I’m not,” he replied--the rumble of his voice a warning, getting her attention.

“What?” Baffled, she paused, realizing he had followed her to the corner of the morgue.

“I’m not sorry,” Matthew repeated, stepping up, and she found herself standing eye-to-eye with him in the dim light.

“I don’t understand.” Of course, he didn’t always observe societal niceties–a trait they shared–and even at times seemed to enjoy bucking them…but common courtesy was just that, common.

Expected.

When you bumped into someone, you apologized.

“I was too close,” he tried to explain, eyes locked on hers.

The pause that followed felt endless, as she attempted to follow his logic and he just…stared.

“And I’m not sorry,” Matthew finally added, causing her to audibly exhale.

“All right,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him as she stepped back again. If he was in a strange mood, Alice certainly couldn’t do anything about it–and she didn’t understand it one bit.

Even on her best days, she had little tolerance for evasiveness and vagaries, and truth be told, she was not her at her best lately.

He wouldn’t get out of her head.

It made her distracted, prone to daydreaming–quite unlike herself. Alice had always focused on her logical abilities; they were safe, a way to establish her place, while she maintained firm and cautious boundaries.

But he had weakened those, just by being himself…just by being there. Always, there.

Matthew was doing things now that she’d found to be silly affectations in the past: holding the door open in front of her, making a point of remembering how she took her tea; snapping at the young deputy who mistook her for someone’s wife rather than a doctor.

She could open her own door, defend her own honor–drink tea in whatever manner it was given to her. None of his tiny gestures, small acts of kindness, were at all necessary.

But they were sweet.

Who knew Matthew Lawson could be sweet?

Pulling her back out of her thoughts, the confounding man touched her lightly on the arm. “Dr. Harvey? …Alice?”

It gave her the queerest feeling, hearing him say her name that way. It was like hearing it for the first time…or the first time that mattered. Her nerves sparked when he kept his hand there and peered at her, concerned by her silence.

“Are you all right?”

She cleared her throat. “Yes. Yes, Superintendent, I’m fine, of course.”

Why was he still touching her?

“Are you going to explain yourself?” Alice asked pointedly, hoping to reestablish some distance, and control. Maybe a tendency to be prickly had never won her any popularity contests, but it kept her safe.

As much as it could.

He frowned. “I’m trying.”

He let go of her arm.

“You don’t exactly make it easy,” he pointed out, without rancor.

“What?”

Matthew scratched at the back of his neck, looking for all the world as though he’d rather be anywhere else. Then he shrugged, as if to say screw it, and met her gaze with his piercingly stubborn one.

“This.”

Alice had been standing at the wall for their halting conversation, next to a tray table, eyes to the morgue door. Without warning–without even blinking–her back was pressed into that wall, Matthew’s body blocking her view out the door.

His mouth was on hers, shocking her system, firm hands heating her skin.

Another woman would have been horrified; pushed him away, straightened her slightly mussed blouse…reported him to a superior.

Matthew didn’t pick just any woman, though, just as he wasn’t any other man.

All Alice could think was yes, God, finally, her wayward thoughts realized in the form of firm muscles and a weak knee, balancing against her while he took without asking.

Thank God he didn’t ask, she thought desperately, as his mouth left hers to find the curve of her neck and linger there. Thank God she didn’t have to worry and wonder and ultimately find a way to avoid the possibility of getting hurt. She liked him, genuinely liked him as a person and a man, and it would have muddled everything up. But this, this she understood.

This, in its way, was simple.

She gripped his hips, pulling Matthew even harder into her, reveling in feeling warm for the first time in ages. She could bask in the heat he conducted, the way he ran his fingers over her shoulders and down her back, trailing fire.

Yes, they were in her morgue, her workplace. Yes, he was a coworker, and it was wholly inappropriate. But that only added a frantic energy to their touches, both of them anticipating interruption, discovery at any moment. How often had she thought about him here, not unlike this, while she completed mundane procedures? How often had he lingered here longer than necessary, watching her with those heavy-lidded eyes?

How carefully had they avoided even the most innocent of touches…knowing it could lead them to this?

Matthew was grumbling nonsense into her skin, mouth on her jawline, her earlobe; her fingers entwined with his, gripping ‘til their knuckles turned white. I can’t believe it, I’ve wanted this, I love the way you taste.

Please don’t stop, Alice thought, over and over, to the rhythm of her racing heart. Just don’t stop. Never let this end.

His hands bruised, and when she stifled a moan he pulled back to make sure she was okay. She kissed him before he could ask, not wanting words to drag them back down to earth. Not wanting anything to remind her of reality. Not wanting to remember all the reasons why she should have been wary of this.

Matthew wasn’t nearly as conflicted, if his possessive hands were any indication, but her tongue brushing his stopped any intention he had of speaking. His hands threaded through her hair, tugging and changing the angle of their kiss.

Of course, it did have to end. Silly to hope otherwise.

Alice was so rarely silly. What was it about him, that had changed so much?

Clomping footsteps alerted them to Bill Hobart’s approach, and Alice sprung back as though she had been struck by lightning.

The look on her face wasn’t that far off.

“Matthew. Dr. Harvey.” Hobart gave her forms to sign, and asked Matthew a few questions about a vehicle theft that day, before leaving them blessedly alone again.

Bill hadn’t seemed to notice anything amiss, not that he and Alice were close. Still, she would have expected one of Matthew’s men to be more observant.

She didn’t see his smirk on the way out.

“Right,” Matthew said in the quiet, as though she had said something. “Well.”

The forceful, confident man who’d had her in his arms only minutes earlier was back to his usual reserved self. It put her on edge, not sure where they stood. Had he come to his senses? Did he regret it?

Did it really happen?

“Well.” Briskly, she smoothed down her hair and gathered her things to head home. Retreat might be the mark of a coward, but it was also a useful survival skill.

And if she was guarding her pride, well…there were worse sins.

One was walking toward her right that moment, a glint in his eye that both soothed and unsettled.

“Heading out, then?”

“Yes,” she answered, gripping her jacket to steady her nervous hands. “I thought I might.”

“May I walk you home?”

This was not what was supposed to happen, Alice thought with exasperation. Nothing about this–about him–made any sense.

He saw the thought cross her face, and grinned. “What is it?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve annoyed you.”

“That’s ridiculous.” To admit that he was right would be admitting that he mattered…that how he behaved affected her. Clinging to her dignity was a reflex, even when it wasn’t terribly convincing.

“No, it’s not. I know that look, Dr. Harvey.”

The way he called her “doctor” sounded less like a title now, and more like an endearment; a caress. It made her cheeks flush as she remembered the way he’d kissed a path down her neck, murmuring compliments all the while.

“I just…don’t know what to make of you,” she told him, adding a wave of her hand between them. “Of this.”

“Is that all?” Matthew’s eyes sparkled, and he was inching in her direction again.

“It’s enough.”

“Well, what do you want to make of it?” He was near enough that she could feel his breath on her face, voice low. “What do you want, Alice?”

What a horrible question that was.

Everything, because she had been lonely for so long. Nothing, because she was scared. Wanton things, because he made her want to throw propriety out the window. Tender things, because he had such capacity for gentleness.

She couldn’t tell him any of that. She could barely look at him.

Instead, she swallowed hard and lifted her purse, shooting him the briefest of smiles.

“I’d like you to walk me home. Matthew.”

Alice went slowly, to accommodate his injury.

He held her hand the entire way.

[liray-stylespk]

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