#also i know it’s just a tiny detail in the first paragraph but i always like throwing in snapshots of the fights

[zepskies]

Oooh yay!! I'm so excited to dive into your thoughts, friend! 😜💜

I LOVE that you have notes! You spoil me. 🥰

Controlled breathing was necessary. But also, I feel like there were some great layers here. Dean allowing himself to feel good? And not just for one night. Admitting it and actually pursuing more? Yessssss. He deserves that.

*breath in, breathe out* loll

Aww thank you for that observation! Dean's finally acknowledging and breaking down those barriers within himself for "something good." 💗

Him sleeping better with her next to him--a classic. Never gets old. <3

Exactly, that's how I feel! 🥹 (We both know I'm a sap lol)

This whole paragraph was beautiful. Also, it was a moment where, if someone simply handed it to me with no other context, I would know it was yours. It felt like you.

The way you just gripped my heart tight and gave me the warm fuzzies. 🥹🥹 "It felt like you." What an amazing compliment! Thank you, my friend. 💕

Her rings being such an identifier was a great detail that fit so well with the reveal at the end. Smart, smart writing!

Aw I'm glad you liked that! That came over from Maybe More Than Enough. I just like the idea of her having silver rings as a fashion statement, a habit, and a good hunter tidbit all in one. 💜

Loved this! Definitely have had something similar in my head while daydreaming. A little sassy, but mostly lovingly concerned. (Again, so very you.)

It's his grouchy little face -- you just wanna smooth out those frowny lines. 😂😂 Aww thank you! Sassy, but mostly lovingly concerned is how I feel like I'd try to be with him. 💗

My stomach was doing something different this time. LMAO. The end of the first section--how he still had questions but just decided to trust her and her judgment. Brilliant. And proved that he really is ready for more.

LMAO I do not blame you on that one. 🤣

Aw Dean. It's mostly that he trusts her, but I feel like it's also a little bit of him "not wanting to look needy," asking too many questions about where she's been. Even if it's both, it's still a sign that he cares and he wants to be there for her regardless.

And in that first section, I simply could not figure out what she was off doing or what it meant for them. The reveal was as satisfying as the guessing. That might actually be my favorite part of this piece--the fact that I could not figure out where it was going. But also, she spent her early morning baking him a pie? My heart got gooier than its filling! =']

Ahaha honestly I feel accomplished that I managed to stump you at first! I threw in a couple of really tiny hints, but I hoped that the reveal would be surprising and satisfying enough, so I'm very glad you think so! She really did spend half the night and the early morning prepping that damn pie for him! 😂

And it just got better from there. He forgot his own birthday? OUCH. His emotion over her gesture? Love, love, love. And their use of touch? So tender and sweet. So, yeah, I was a fan of this one. xD<3

He really did in this one! Like, I feel like the brothers don't make a big deal about birthdays as well as holidays, so with everything they always have going on, HC that Dean forgets his own birthday half the time in the later seasons. I felt like her doing this for him would be a small but significant way of her showing that she's "all in."

Thank you again SO much for your lovely comments and observations!! You totally made my day, Larrs. 💕💕

It's not his birthday yet IRL, but we're celebrating it a bit early in this story. 😂

Restless Nights

Pairing: Dean Winchester x F. Reader

Summary: After a tryst you instigated in the backseat of his Baby, you and Dean have started something new. He’s just not sure that you’re as “all in” as you claimed to be.

AN: As promised, here's a bonus one-shot to follow Maybe More Than Enough, though it can be read as a stand-alone. This is based on a request from @lacilou, one of my lovely Patreon members!

Bonus! It fulfills the @spnfanficpond monthly prompt. (Can’t give it away until the end though!)

Request: A Dean story based on the song “I Remember You” by Skid Row.

Word Count: 1.2K

Tags/Warnings: Angst, fluff, implied mentions of sex, bit of a twist ending… 

Dean woke to the sound of pouring rain hitting the roof of the bunker.

It must’ve been some torrential downpour, because it took a lot for him to hear anything of the outside world from inside this place. Good thing the old heaters kept out the January cold, too. Nothing worse than frigid rain.

Blearily he cracked his eyes open, unearthed an arm from where it was tucked under his pillow, and carefully raised his phone to check the time, trying not to let the light from the screen burn his retinas in the still dark room.

4:00 a.m.

He groaned. Goddamn it.

He turned over onto his other side to face where you should’ve been lying next to him. He frowned when he saw nothing but the sheets pulled back and a dented, empty pillow.

No matter how he fought it down, a small tinge of worry, and the beginnings of disappointment churned in his gut. His brows furrowed.

Did you regret it already?

After his first make out session with you (turned more session) in the backseat of his Baby, you two struck a tentative agreement to figure what this could be—more than hunting partners, allies, and friends. Despite the fact that you kissed him first (a fact he didn’t easily let you forget), afterwards, you’d been a little hesitant about what came next.

“We take it day by day,” he’d told you, with a sizzling kiss that stole your breath. “All I know is…this feels good.”

It felt right. You had definitely agreed with that.

Dean sighed through his nose, turning back onto his other side. It wasn’t unusual for him to be a light (restless) sleeper, but the handful of times you’d joined him in his bed had been beginning to make his nights calmer. He was actually starting to sleep through until morning.

What’s more, after years of looking into your eyes and seeing all the possibilities of what if, he was finally getting to make those images solid, and real. He could touch them, taste them, feel them under his calloused hands. He finally had you for real.

He looked past your empty spot in his bed and didn’t see your phone, or any of your rings on the nightstand. They were the first things you put on in the morning, and the last things you took off at night.

If those were gone…

His disappointment was settling high in his chest now; an ache approaching pain.

Until he heard the light sound of bare feet padding back toward the bed. Your hand slid gently up his arm, and after the surprise wore off, the corners of his lips tugged upwards. Your hair was a bit wild and frizzy. It tickled his neck and shoulder when you leaned in to kiss his cheek.

“What’s this?” you whispered, swiping two fingers between the crunch in his brows. Dean relaxed with a small smile.

“Nothin’,” he claimed. His voice was deep and rough with sleep. “Had an appointment to get to or something?”

You smiled and settled into bed, embracing him from behind. He turned onto his back and welcomed you over, with an arm curling around your waist. He rested his hand on yours when it smoothed across his chest.

Subtly glancing down, he didn’t find any of the silver you wore on the daily, including the ring with a small turquoise stone he’d bought you a couple weeks ago, on a hunt in Denver. That one, you now almost never took off.

“I put them away in a drawer,” you said, wiggling your fingers under his hand. Your hand felt dry, and a little like you'd been handling something dusty. Had you been up reading in the library again, lost track of time? “When I woke up, I saw one fell off the nightstand. Have a feeling it had something to do with the bedframe knocking against it.”

At that, Dean couldn’t contain his lazy smirk.

“My bad,” he said, sounding anything but sorry.

You laughed, shaking your head. You still laid a kiss below his shoulder before you settled back down. He gave your waist a gentle squeeze, pressing a kiss of his own to your forehead. A deep breath fell from between his lips, and his eyes closed.

A question was on the tip of his tongue. Where you were, why you got up. Was it something he could help with? Or was it one of those moments you needed to have alone, not unlike the times you gave him to settle with his thoughts, after a hunt gone sideways. If it was important, you’d level with him, wouldn’t you?

So he let it be.

In the morning, you somehow once again managed to get out of bed without him feeling it. He didn’t hear you either. Curiosity led him down the hall and glancing inside the cracked door of Sam’s room. It was empty, his running shoes gone from the side of his bed. Dean rolled his eyes.

All right, Lance.

Oh, wait, that was biking. ��Whatever.

Dean’s next path inevitably took him down to the kitchen. His stomach was already percolating—in need of good coffee and (hopefully) good food.

The smell wafting from the kitchen surprised him, however. Cinnamon apples?

He turned the corner, and there he found you.

The fuck?

You looked a bit of a mess. Your hair was thrown up into a haphazard bun, and you’d stolen his apron. Though in his eyes, you made it look better, the white fabric hugging around your curves like you were Rachel Ray or something. You were frazzled when he came downstairs, but happy to see him. You beckoned him over and sat him down at the small kitchen table.

“Sweetheart, what’s going on here?” he asked, eying you curiously.

“Just stay there!” you called from the kitchen. He heard you opening the oven, cursing when you nearly dropped something.

What the hell were you doing baking before 9:00 a.m.?

He turned to ask you what was going on (and if you needed help), but before the words could come out of his mouth, you came over and carefully set down the pie in front of him. The rich aroma, the golden flaky crust, the flecks of cinnamon and glossy apples peeking out from the divots in said crust—it all had Dean’s mouth watering, and his shocked gaze fixed on the shiny pastry.

He startled a little when he felt your hands on his shoulders, sliding part of the way down his arms. You kissed the side of his head.

“Thought I wouldn’t remember, did you?” you teased. “Happy Birthday, baby.”

Dean’s throat constricted. He tried not to show it, but your gaze gentled when he finally met yours, like you were seeing through all his layers anyway. He realized then what you were probably working on last night, and he really couldn’t fucking believe it.

He’d forgotten his own birthday. Couldn’t see much use in celebrating, when year after crappy year…

But he closed a hand over yours on his shoulder, and he brought your hand to his lips.

Every word he couldn’t yet say to you was etched in that single gesture.

AN: Short and angsty sweet! lol And the monthly prompt was "pie!" 🥧 For Dean of course. 😂

Hope you guys enjoy this one! 💜

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[cream-and-tea]

LAY ME DOWN. chapter eight excerpt. unedited. featuring: the shaky next step in agnes’s journey to understand her powers. mentions of death. mentions of violence. ghosts. the not-great aftereffects of dealing with ghosts.

[transcript under the cut]

since the last major bit of writing from lmd i shared had pallas doing magic i figured it was only fair to show off agnes’s spooky ghost bullshit in this one!

TAGLIST (ask to be +/-). @vellichor-virgo @transmasc-wizard​ @houndmouthed @muddshadow @just-wublrful @corkywantstowrite @shrunkupthejams @andromedaexists @caninemotiff @lungs-and-gills @vampiresdrinkfruitjuice @phantomnations @onomatopiya @deer-in-headlights-stare @redbloodprose @definitelynotclayface @carnivalls @atthenian @dallonwrites

When they were younger and inquired after what it felt like to call a ghost, Fiver had told them to imagine trying to eat something in a dream only to have it start eating you back. Not in a violent way though, he elaborated, as if there was any such thing as magic devoid of violence. Calliope said it was like dunking yourself in fucking ice water, and then proceeded to empty her cup of cold lemonade over their head as a demonstration (they had cracked her tooth for that one, fingers shoved down throat to make him choke). Call it learned bias but they do not trust either of the two to have provided a factual account of the experience.

They’ve watched Agnes attempt this so many times. They know how it will go, best for beat. She will stand there for far too long. Perhaps there will be a faint shimmer in the air before her. Then she will drop her hand and stumble backwards like she’s been shocked and look at them all cringing and apologetic like she’s waiting for them to please help please tell me what I did wrong. And they will (or at least they will try to as best they can because this is not their area of expertise and the Director knew that she had to have known that when she asked this of them), and she will nod and apologize and trust their words and promise to do better next time. And they will both move on to more productive things and pretend the issue is being properly addressed. At this point it’s routine.

So when the space just in front of Agnes begins to warp itself slightly, a waver like one observed on a hot summer day distorting the blackberry bushes beyond it, they do not register it as anything of note. And when a visible shiver runs through her body, rustling the green at her feet and lifting the very ends of her hair and puffed cap sleeves of her blouse, they internally brace for the connection to shatter as it has so many times before.

Instead the emptiness her hand clutches begins to leak, to bleed, to congeal and resolve itself into an unmistakable something. Not so much the form of a human being but the absence of where a human being should be. A palness like fog spreading from the point of contact forming pressed palm and grasping fingers and arm and shoulder spindling into torso and neck until a blank, yawning, hole fills the approximate shape of a man standing in front of a girl in grotesque parody of a handshake, it’s outline futzing tenuously in and out of existence.

“Hello,” Agnes says, and her breath fogs in front of her face, even though the greenhouse is as artificially temperate as ever, even though Pallas’s shirt is currently glued to their back with sweat. What comes after is a sound like nails on a chalkboard, an echoing, rustling, scraping sound that fills the air in a spiral out from the now-visible ghost and washes over Pallas in the first blast of cold air when opening a window in winter that they realize is rendering into a spattering whisper of hello hello hello hello. The dead thing responding to Agnes, or maybe merely echoing her, they do not know enough about the specifics to say, they only know that this is something beyond dragged into the here and now where it should not be, so the way their nails bite into their palms upon hearing it is an entirely reasonable reaction.

Pallas has seen ghosts called by the skilled and unskilled, spoken to them and been spoken to, their experience with their powers equal and opposite has been about as through as it can be, but they’ve still never been able to shake the notion that there is a particular perversion in it. Vita at least deals in the tangible, the real, no matter how much it may warp those things the life they hold in their hands is always at least possible to hold. Perhaps Mortem is just as present to those born with it, just as natural, but Pallas has known enough of the things roaming the Haithwood outside to ever fully set their fear aside. In a world currently occupied by dying the act of brushing so closely with that death should be viewed with the utmost caution and the urge to grab Agnes by her shoulders and drag her back from what she has manifested is a natural byproduct of that caution.

Because they are aware of all of this they are also aware of how what she has done is incorrect, or at least incomplete. There should be features solidifying now, more words audible besides that rasping hello, but Morgan Chase is still as unformed as dough, a shadowless blotch sapping colour from cheeks and air from lungs and green from plant life. Agnes’s hair has fully lifted into a halo of dark, twisting waves around her head, her eyes glazed over almost completely. But still nothing more materialises beyond the unthing emptying itself in front of her.

Just as they’re about to intercede Agnes takes three wobbling, rapid, steps backwards and topples to the ground, the ghost saticing away into invisibility once again, though as Pallas moves they are uncomfortably aware of the fact that invisible is nowhere near gone. All that has happened is that it has been removed once again from their sight and whispered back into that state of being only Gravespeakers can perceive. But the dead man is still here, perhaps watching them right now, and the knowledge of that is a thorn pricking itself into the bottom of their foot.

Pallas forces their lungs to suck in air, then expel it, then they hurry to stand by Agnes. For a second she just lies on her back, limp as a dead animal in a way that will not fit into their mind, before sitting up with a great gasp of air. Pallas can see the grass she was just standing on has browned and withered and gone dead, and that she is shaking uncontrollably. Gooseflesh prickles her skin and her teeth chatter through bloodless lips as she raises her arms up to curl around herself. Pallas’s first thought is she’s going to bite through her tongue if she keeps on like that and their second thought is I can’t believe she actually did it.

[onlyseokmins]

babymaker • c.s.c

Pairing: choi seungcheol x afab!reader Genres: smut (minors dni!), roommates!au, fwb!au, lil angst if you squint plus gross fluff Warnings: swearing, mentions of past rough/marathon sex, edging, overstimulation, fingering, mentions of oral sex (fem. receiving, male teasing), biting (bc i wrote this), scratching, marking, mentions of car/exhibitionism sex, objectification, degradation, slight choking, tiny obsession w/ cheol's ass + tatts, making out and tons of kithing uwu, reader's a brat and economic major, cheol's a wealthy arrogant bbygorl, creampies <3, breeding kink, light mentions of babytrapping (look at the title lmfao), lots of touching and groping and teasing, sappy stuff ew, messy sex, kinda bulge kink haha, paragraph/word heavy, throwing in some silliness as usual, & lmk if i missed smth WC: 7.9k A/N: i know it's like a month late but this was suppposed to be for cheol's birthday lmfao but it's also meant to be a sequel to Lusty Gallant although it can be read on it's own ig esp since the characters seem ooc </3 also thanks to @hwanghyunjinenthusiast for giving me details on what cheol kithes taste like mwah

Seungcheol and you still live together. And yes, that means you're still committed to fucking on every surface possible in the very nice apartment space comfortable for two.

Roommates with benefits works out well for the both of you — seeming to lean mostly in your favor. 

University is a hop and a skip away, close enough for Seungcheol to swing by on his way home from the office with a minor detour. The attractive man's appearance always causes several students to squeal and twirl their hair when he parks next to the sidewalk in a sleek, expensive black and red car. Silver rings that probably cost as much as your tuition adorn long fingers as they tap, tap, tap against the leather steering wheel while he waits. 

Seungcheol looks for you over the rim of fake sunglasses perched on the tip of his nose and tongue poking between brilliant white teeth revealed by a smug smirk. Your friends are not subtle — a few in-the-know of what kind of arrangement you have with him and the majority of others not — when they dig an elbow into your ribs or smack your arm in excitement. 

You loathe the gawking stares with the same amount of intensity as the tiny sparkle of delight that allows yourself to bask in Seungcheol's showy display of attention that's only partially for you. Aware of what he really loves is soaking up everyone focused on him, brushing back bangs with a pleased grin after checking himself out for the hundredth time in the rearview mirror. 

Still, the man is as punctual as clockwork despite a hectic schedule. Deluding yourself is fun whenever he rolls down the window and asks just loud enough for onlookers to hear and swoon over, "How was night class, sweet stuff? Did my luckiest charm learn anything new to advise me on the market's trends?" and receiving an eye roll in return.

"I keep saying you don't have to do this," you remind him every. single. time. because you're sincerely fine walking back the same route you take in the morning.

"Nonsense, it'd be a sin to let a pretty little thing like you walk the city streets in the dark all alone. 'sides it's on my way." 

"Of course, as long as it's convenient."

"Convenient?" he repeats with a cocked eyebrow and watches as you slide into the ridiculous car with a cute but sulky pout. An indication that something has ruffled your feathers, if even just a little.

You know not to slam the door too hard when closing it because the one time you did just to be a brat, your battered pussy paid the price. It was very sore for a good couple of days after being repeatedly edged for hours as punishment. First by his fingers during the drive home, next with his mouth on the hood of said car after he'd pulled into the garage, and then teasing touches along the several little pit stops on the way to the bedroom. 

All until you were pressed face-down into silky sheets, finally allowed to let go for the first time of the night with his thick girth easing its way inside of your aching cunt to the hushed words of, "Have to touch my baby gently, treat 'em with lotsa care. Always gotta play nice with the things I like, 'kay?"

Safe to say, you learned your lesson. Who wouldn't after being nearly bedridden and limping around for almost two days?

Seungcheol lets out the same kind of disappointed huff when you apologized to him for having to take care of you after that particularly harsh sex marathon — or any time, for that matter. "I've never thought of it as an inconvenience."  

"You're a busy man."

"Not so busy that I can't pick you up, 'specially given that we live together."

"Under various terms and conditions. One of them being that I put up with all your inconveniences, not vice versa."

"Then simply think of it as an additional nuisance of mine you have to deal with. You know I won't do anything you don't want, but at least let me have this so I know you're safe." Another harsh sigh leaves his mouth as he adds, "Even if the university was on the other side of town, I'd be there."

"Yeah, okay."

While there's a general love-hate relationship with your sassy behavior, it's in times like these where he extremely dislikes it since the timing is rather improper to fuck it out of you. Alas, he's left to fumble for an alternative that presents him as a man who possesses some semblance of decorum. 

"Can drive something else, find a car that doesn't draw so much attention."

"It's not the car," you snap back without thinking. Lips pressing together in a thin line when Seungcheol's fingers that wish they were on your thigh drum menacingly on the console as a substitute, rings flashing under the glow of the passing streetlights.

"Then what is it?" Your name falls from his lips in a soft, commanding kind of plea. 

Lucky for you, the short drive is almost over and you can avoid answering for the last couple of minutes. Pretending to mull it over as you focus on steadying the pounding thump of your heart and the erratic breath caught in your lungs.

"It's nothing," you lie fairly easily, already slinking out of the car the minute he brakes in the garage and ignoring the dark brown eyes trained on you because they will make you hesitate. You have to stay firm or end up caught in his trap. "Just tired, 's all. I'm gonna head to bed early, see you in the morning?"

And you don't wait for a response. Gently closing the car door and then sprinting as unsuspiciously as possible into your designated bedroom. Seungcheol won't follow or pry for now. He's always made a point to respect any boundaries you set and the promise to see him when you wake up will keep the man at bay for now. And you sure as hell were going to use all of that to your advantage, curling up under a blanket and trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. 

This "roommates with a multitude of benefits" arrangement worked. Chugging along like a well-oiled mechanism. So why were you contemplating the risk of messing it up and throwing the machine off its steady track? For something so fleeting? So emotional? The one thing that always fucks up these kinds of relationships?

Sure, you were in love with the way Seungcheol carried himself. His swagger. His money. Confidence, charisma, oh… and his cock, too. Who wouldn't be? But now, oh no, now you were also in love with the man himself — stupid Choi Seungcheol!

It was a gradual build. Always there in the background. All it took was for you to acknowledge its existence. Perhaps it was meant to play out this way. But you were still going to hold him responsible as an equal in contributing to this mess just as much as you were for falling. Your fingers clutch at the blanket, the poor fleece serving as an unfortunate outlet for your frustration.

When did the crazy marathons dwindle out? By no means had the two of you stopped fucking — absolutely not. It just meant that, well, rather than Seungcheol just fucking you, he more or less made love to you.

You feel a shiver down your spine and scream into a pillow at the worms writhing in your brain.

The sex was still terrific. You habitually muffle your sounds as it is — not ones of pure frustration like tonight — but out of extreme pleasure. The filthy debauchery hadn't changed either. The two of you deeply reveled in your depraved dynamics and more insane acts, maybe even getting dirtier once this subtle shift happened. 

Safety. Security. Seungcheol.

Words you would've never thought to use in relation to him.

And then there was the aftercare. A strange new intimacy. He cuddled in bed after taking the effort to clean each other up for a good night's rest. Remaining there fast asleep and quietly snoring long after you untangle yourself from the comforting warmth of his arms to start the day. Mornings were no longer cold because he chose to stay.

Weekends were becoming your favorite too. When he waddles around shirtless, barely awake upon discovering you gone from his embrace. A back-hug immediately when finding you again. Soft gropes at your curves and low groans of contentment while pressing his nose into the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent mixed with his while you prep breakfast. Turning you around for kisses and pursuing long, slow makeout sessions that were quickly becoming the norm. Only for you to accidentally bite down a little too hard on his bottom lip when you realize the toast is burning.

You miss the way his eyes shine with affection as they follow you panicking around the kitchen. When did this big apartment of his begin to feel so alive? Even previous roommates and their loud yammering hardly made him feel at home. Tonguing at the indentation marks of your teeth molded into his lip and the sting that keeps him rooted in the present moment, the man meets your flustered expression with a grand, playful smile. 

Ah, he thinks fondly, obviously.

Afternoons no longer consist of being stowed away in respective bedrooms or different rooms. Seungcheol sits at the kitchen table, furrowed eyebrows as he chips away at the excel sheet reflected in the glasses perched on his nose. You sit across from him, dutifully typing up assignments for Sunday night submittal. 

He'll ask occasional questions just to learn more about you, your classes, and your dreams. Or if you simply need any help. Meanwhile, you make sure you're both staying hydrated and taking necessary breaks to rest your eyes from the screens. Sometimes you'll even get to assist him by analyzing a report. The real-world example aids as a unique use case scenario to better understand the concepts outlined in your textbooks.

You really were Seungcheol's lucky charm. He often wonders if you'd like to apply to work at the company he's in. But he'd hate to pressure or patronize you. So ultimately all he can do is stare in awe and provide steady encouragement as you formulate calculations, clean up the data, and transform it all into a presentable display of information.

It's usually his turn to cook in the evenings. Constantly getting distracted by your presence that he insists needs to be around to taste-test the vegetables that keep overcooking when he gets too caught up in tasting you. Innocent smooches here and there amid shy giggling that seems far too intimate than if he lapped at something else like in the past when he eagerly devoured your cunt right there on the countertop. 

When dinner is served, you honestly never know or care how tasty it is or isn't because Seungcheol himself is the spice in your life. Your plain world now explodes in a bountiful amount of flavor thanks to him. Later, you tidy up the kitchen together — similar to how you move in tandem to freshen up in the bathroom after sex and much like a married couple would act.

And that's why your damn roommate leaves you wanting more. 

These nights he kisses you bathed in the moonlight, working up a blistering heat that doesn't just simmer in your lower abdomen but follows the journey of his dedicated mouth. Upwards the wildfire burns, swooping into your chest and underneath the skin of your cheeks until it tangles with the expert tongue poking in between your lips. Seungcheol charts familiar territory with dancing fingertips across your skin, re-committing it to memory while yours sear into his, scratching at the wide expanse of his back and burying themselves in the curls of his unruly hair. 

He takes you to bed — not always in a sexual manner — and it really doesn't even matter how you end up there because that is where you'll find yourself anyway. Falling asleep in his arms and waking up to repeat this strange and newly established cycle.

So the fact that you are sleeping alone speaks volumes. What is said, you're unsure but little do you know that Seungcheol continues to fear you might slip out of his hands. The attached-detached battle strategy always lurks around the corner and somehow, it's almost better when he treats you like some sort of fucktoy only. 

The gentle sparkle in his eye was shielded by the switch to a mean glint, eyeing you up like you're nothing better than a piece of meat. No longer acting as the sweet yet cocky, handsome roommate you've gotten to know and grown feelings for. But reminiscent of the aloof and arrogant — still deviously attractive — man who propositioned this whole situation a little over a year ago.

Like now, as you kneel on all fours naked. Save for the humble pair of underwear whose innocence has long been destroyed due to the stains of your arousal mixed with Seungcheol's cum. Ruining the fabric that nestles between your legs for the sake of modesty you've thrown away hours — no, months — ago.

The very man sits before you on the poor couch that's seen its fair share of sinful acts. He's reclining comfortably, black t-shirt stretching out across a firm chest and broad shoulders while infamous gray sweatpants strain against thick thigh muscles as he manspreads so casually with a large hand laid over his crotch. Teasingly hiding the thing you so desire and are begging for. 

But he wants you to work for it. Harder. A lot more than you already have. Put on a proper show of how much you deserve to have him. And want him.

"Come," he commands and pats his thigh like he's talking to some stray dog. When you go to sit back on your knees to stand, his eyes narrow as they darken. "Crawl."

What you don't know is Seungcheol would easily yield to and for you if you'd just let him. Be honest with him. Tell him your feelings. Unfortunately, it's in both of your natures to be hella stubborn. Too prideful to admit defeat and be completely vulnerable. You've come to an impasse.

But crawl to him physically you do, shamelessness long gone. Because what could be more shameful than how willing you are to be used by him and how wonderful it feels to be degraded?

Obviously admitting how much you like the damn man. 

Goosebumps thrillingly cover your skin at how the gaze trained on you never loses its intensity with you coming closer, following all the way until your head is between his spread legs. Because he knows at least this is the most definitive way he can hold onto you for now.

"Kiss me."

And you obey, puckering your lips and tenderly placing them against the growing bulge beneath the gray fleece. Looking up with lidded eyes, blinking slowly as you let out audible smooch noises along the hard length before mouthing at where the tip lies. Leaving an even damper spot than the salty excess seeping through the fabric, suckling around the area to replace it with the hot saliva dribbling from your tongue that laps enthusiastically at the taste.

"C'mon pet," Seungcheol's tone is mocking in its chastisement, but the rough pad of his thumb rubbing your warm cheek is gentle. "Gimme a real one."

"Yes sir," falls breathlessly out of your mouth at the assumed permission, hands quickly reaching for the waistband of his sweats only to retract just as fast upon the disapproving click of his tongue.

"Not like that, up."

Uncertain, you brace yourself with the support of his quads so you're kneeling. Leaning in and tentatively pressing a kiss to the spot where you know at least one vein starts from the bottom of his pelvis and leads up to his abdomen. Tongue poking out in an attempt to feel and trace it, also effectively wetting his shirt just for good measure.

This time, a wistful sigh escapes between the man's pouty lips despite the furrowing of eyebrows because you're still not quite getting the message. The hand on your cheek slides down to your neck, briefly running his thumb tantalizingly across the side of your throat, landing on your shoulder, and grasping at your arm. Tugging up until you follow along with the motion and a bit of a surprised squeak, ultimately landing right where he wants you — straddling his lap.

"Oh," you mutter in surprise, abruptly snapped out of the lust haze that had been clouding your mind. 

Center of gravity thrown off balance until your knees finally ground themselves on either side of his spread legs. Your hands hover awkwardly in the air, struggling to find something to hold onto before resolutely settling on the back of the couch. But not before Seungcheol's sturdy hands steady your hips, sporty reflexes acting faster than you can complete any of these actions.

"Oh, indeed. Already too fucked out to think?"

"No… s-sorry."

"You can make it up to me," he teases and you wait for the punchline, "with a proper kiss." It's both amazing and brow-raising when the Choi Seungcheol lets out the lowest of whines at the smallest sign of hesitation. "Don'tcha think it's the least I deserve today?"

Spoiled is what he is — but it is his birthday after all — so, of course, you're more than willing to indulge. Although the trepidation is real, manifesting in the tense stiffening of your body and the acceleration of your heart rate.

"Relax," he says gleefully — a little too gleeful. "I don't bite."

"Most times, not."

"If anyone's the biter between us, it's you so…"

The taunting murmur of, "Go ahead and bite baby," turns into a satisfied groan when you press your lips against his. Contrary to the jest and much to his delight, you're gentle. It's so adorable that he finds himself melting below you into a puddle of goo. Becoming absolute putty, lips readily parting so you can lick into his mouth.

He tastes like cherry chapstick and coffee, flavors so Choi Seungcheol that it hurts with how much they alone can possibly overwhelm you. Your nose scrunches, eyebrows following suit. Unaware of how he observes close-up through heavily lidded eyes because he wants more and more of what he can't get enough of. Afraid you might disappear. Even though you're right here — on his lap, kissing him sweetly. Yet you're still not all there.

So, he works on anchoring you to him — somehow, some way. One hand urges you to release your support on the couch, bringing your arm down to sneakily thread his fingers between yours. Naturally, the opposite one falls to eliminate the odd angle and rests on his shoulder. Seungcheol's other palm shifts to splay across your bare back and push you further into his chest, your sensitive nipples brushing against the cotton material of his shirt. 

When that burning hand also encourages your ass to sit on his thighs to nearly smother him into the couch cushion and your damp core effectively presses onto the heated length stirring inside his sweats — he finally gets what he's been waiting for. The wanton moan that bubbles out of your throat is quickly swallowed up by the man himself, who ceases the passive role in the makeout session and kisses you back with a fervor that quite literally steals your breath.

He waits for you to surrender.  

Not to be confused with submission. Seungcheol no longer cares about any fucked-up or sexual kind of power play nor does he want to win. He doesn't even want you to yield to or for him. Oh, he wishes you would of your own free will — but if you at least give in to the moment, to the feelings of now, and the warmth shared between you two — that's the most he can ask for and what he's grateful to accept for the time being.

Your fingers slip beneath the neckline of his shirt, inadvertently starting to trace along the same pattern as the ink that decorates his skin. The menace of a man smirks, pausing his assault on your lips to croon knowingly, "Wanna move this to your room?"

It's annoying how Seungcheol can read you even before your mind can think. And it's even more irritating at how your body reacts, thighs betraying you. Viscerally squeezing around his figure today, much like the memory of them wrapped above his waist the other day. Legs spread by him in between them as you clung to his body that had been railing into you like there's no tomorrow. Your gaze locked over his shoulder at the man's pride and joy — his nice ass — reflected in the mirror deliberately across from your bed along with the inked designs of things he held dearly marked across his back. Including the healing scratches from your nails.

"No," you grit out and break the kiss to shoot him a pointed glare, "just take off your stupid shirt."

"Thought you'd never ask."

No one should ever look that sexy taking off clothes, but of course, Seungcheol does. Any snark left in you immediately fizzles out at the teasing reveal and intentionally flexed expanse of his stomach as well as his bare chest. And yet something shifts in the air after he throws the shirt off to the side, covering his torso with his arms and giggling.

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're gonna devour me whole, it's making me shy!"

It's not like you can stop yourself. Goddamnit, even that weird farmer's tan is drool-inducing. And the boyish smile he dons isn't helping either. You scoff to salvage a fraction of sanity, hands back on his bare shoulders and leaning in close enough for your noses to almost touch.

"Bullshit."

"Bet."

"You love it when people stare at you." 

There's a beat of silence. "But you look at me… differently."

"Hey — don't get weird on me, Seungcheol, or your dick's gonna deflate."

Normally he'd bite back at you. Stuff like: "My dick's just fine," or "Baby, it's so easy to get hard around you," and "You'd appreciate if my dick got smaller 'cause it wouldn't make you whine so much," but this time, he doesn't. He just stares at you. Thinking. Long enough for you to start getting antsy, unable to hold eye contact for any longer than two minutes, especially with him so close.

"What?" 

"You like me, don't you?"

It's the damn question he throws around all the time and your eyes roll up out of habit. "Yeah, I like you better without a deflated — "

"Forget about my cock for a bit." 

"Kind of hard to do," you fire back and try to grind down on the very inflated length twitching needily for the snug cunt it senses between the layers of clothes cruelly separating it from its warm home. 

Of course, Seungcheol is a little too familiar with your ploys and swats at your behind before squeezing your hips. "I know it is for a cock-hungry slut like you," he growls out in frustration before reverting back to his original soft tone, "but just humor me for a second."

"… Alright."

"You like me," he states and then repeats it in earnest when you sigh again, "you really like me. I would even be so confident enough to think you're… you're in love — "

"Well quit thinking," you interrupt with a snap, "I know your high and mighty arrogance causes you to believe everyone worships the ground you walk on but that doesn't mean a damn thing!"

Seungcheol's caramel eyes flash — with irritation or hurt, you can't quite place the swirl of emotions. "So that's all it is, huh? Just a figment of my imagination. A totally unfair projection of my thoughts and feelings onto you."

"If you wanted a session so badly on your birthday, then you should've scheduled with your therapist. And if you didn't want to continue fucking, then we could've stopped after the first round 'cause I was fine but you wanted more."

"You and I both know we're not just 'fucking'," he snarls, "and yeah, I do want more and that's why I need to know — with or without the sex, forgetting about the looks I know aren't just lust-filled because I see the ones you think I don't, I need to hear it out loud — do you like me?"

The plea of your name is the doomed cherry on top, heart thudding to the floor. It feels like the breath has been punched out of you. Though his skin is fiery warm beneath your palms it's not enough to thaw the way you've completely frozen over.

"Fine," you eventually wheeze out and Seungcheol relaxes — relieved — despite the crack in your voice, only to tense at your next words. "I'll move out tomorrow. Might take me a few days to get all my stuff gathered though."

"Wait… wait, wait… '' And this is the moment when the two of you find out that the black jujitsu belt he'd earned wasn't all for naught, effectively using a well-maneuvered technique that takes you off his lap and onto your back before you can escape from him again. "Please."

He begs, desperation evident in the way he clings to you and flops his forehead defeatedly onto your shoulder. As if he isn't the one who has you pinned to the couch cushions. He's never tried to hinder you before but honestly, he thinks he's hit the breaking point.

Don't you dare fucking leave me, is what is thought — but what comes out is a broken, "Why?"

"Because… because I… I breached the c-contract and made you uncomf — "

Seungcheol's head flies back up. "Then it should be me who moves out 'cause I'm pretty sure I violated the contract first."

"Wh-what?"

"Look at me," he commands and grips your chin so you can't turn away, "look at me, baby." And when your eyes squint open to stare into his, he fixes you with the most sincere expression you've ever seen. "I'm in love with you." 

Tears spring to your eyes at the wild admission. Neither of you are sure if your hearts are mending or splitting to fuse and complete the other's. What you do know is that Seungcheol melts into you with a kiss of elation and celebration, the big man further turning into an even bigger pile of mush when your hands cup both of his cheeks during it and a thumb rubs soothingly at his jaw. He smiles against your lips when you whisper back, "I love you too."

"Took you long enough." Your flustered protests are cut short when he sits up to lean against the opposite armrest, pulling you on top of him like your original positions. "Have a present for you."

"But you're the one who should be receiving gifts."

He shrugs. "I already have the prettiest one right here in my arms… even if I was almost left alone on my birthday."

"Sorry," you stroke his pouty lips, "to be fair, I was going to wait until tomorrow."

"While holed up all by yourself in your room in the meantime. Little shit, you know I wouldn't have let you go, right?" 

"Yeah… because you love me!"

There's an extra giddiness to your exclamation that's contagious enough to crack Seungcheol's chagrined expression with another grin.

"And you were gonna leave 'cause you loved me…" He lets out a huff. "Whatever, water under the bridge. Anyways, the gift. It's underneath the couch."

Curious, you lay flat and brush your hand beneath the furniture. Waving it around back and forth in the blind search, subsequently shifting all over Seungcheol's chest — bare skin gliding across bare skin. 

You snicker, feeling his cock stiffening once more with your movements. "Calm down, horndog."

"It's not my fault you're rubbing your very sexy body all over me!"

"… Why'd you even decide to put it here?"

"'Cause you never clean."

"Hey! Don't make me bite your dick off." It twitches beneath you. "Freak."

"We'll see who the real freak is when I go ahead and get it pierced with a barbell you'll like."

"Oh, fuck off!" comes your retort and he grumbles at the lighthearted jab while your hand finally bumps against a hard box that you grasp onto tightly. Pulling it out and frowning at the suspicious amount of dust covering it. "Gee, how long was this down here?"

"�� Six months."

Your eyes bug out. "Six months?!"

"Told ya you didn't clean under there!"

"Oh yes, because that's the point here."

"It kind of is," Seungcheol teases despite the slightly wistful look in his eyes. "Knew you wouldn't find it there."

All you can do is shake your head, gingerly opening what you assume to be a jewelry box only to abruptly shut it out of pure shock. "What the fuck did I just see?!"

"Do… do you not like it?"

"That's so not the question that needs to be asked right now."

"It kind of does 'cause if you don't want it, I'll buy something else. "

"You've gotta be shittin' me." You fix him with a hard glare though he barely reacts to it. "How much of your bank account did you deplete for that?"

A satisfied, cocky smirk is all you get in return. "'Tis but a bucket of water taken out of the ocean, sweetheart. Trivial."

"Choi Seungcheol."

"C'mon," he takes the box from you with one large hand and pops it back open. You can actually feel the ache in your eyes set in at the sight of the dazzling jewels once again. "Thought it'd look gorgeous on you."

It's easy to visibly melt at his words because he's such a smooth talker along with the knowledge that he's kept this hidden for approximately half of a year. But that still doesn't distract you from the insane amount of delicate crystals forming a beautiful open heart shape linked to two short double-strands of diamond studs on either side that join together with a silver clasp. 

"It looks expensive," you correct, "how much was it?"

"Hmm, well it's seventeen carats so… a couple thousand, maybe?" 

Your jaw drops, eyes widening as one of Seungcheol's beefy fingers carelessly thumbs at the choker like the piece of jewelry couldn't pay off more than half of your student debt. You likely also get some type of look on your face because he clicks his tongue.

"Now, don't you worry your pretty little head about it. I would happily spend ten times as much to get something that expresses just a fraction of what your worth is — in the world and… to me."

"You're so sappy, what the heck."

"Better not start something you can't handle, love." Seungcheol kindly warns, a little affronted when his puppy dog eyes and babygirl pout aren't as effective at distracting you as he'd like. Well, there are other ways. "You can't return it without testing it first."

"Testing?"

"Mhm, but why don't you give your sugar daddy a kiss of gratitude first?"

You scoff. "The only thing you share in common with a glucose guardian is being filthy rich."

"Not because I'm sweet like sugar?"

"Maybe just a little," you admit and lean in to give him an even sweeter kiss, much like earlier. And like before, the man turns into a puddle of syrupy goo at the featherlight touches of your lips on his.

But it's different at the same time. Kissing your roommate has always been with a bit of restraint. That all fades away as you melt into him — safety, security, Seungcheol, surrender — the both of you addicted to and lost in one another's taste while everything else falls away.

Until the little shit that he is distracts you enough for him to deftly extract the choker from its box and fasten it around your neck. You hiss at the shock of cold metal and gemstones as well as the physical and economically ethical weight around your neck, breaking the makeout session.

"See? Gorgeous, just like I thought. Not that you can look at it right now… maybe next time, we'll test it, heh, in your room."

"So that's what you meant by test…" 

The lightbulb finally goes off in your head but all you receive in response is a smug look. Unaware that the grand menace is pondering what position he'd like best to see the choker for the first time in action. Something inside him clicks after absentmindedly slipping a finger underneath one of the diamond chains and watching you attempt to swallow at the increase in pressure constricting your airflow.

It's all bright white teeth when he smiles and whispers, "On your back, baby."

And you shuffle backwards obediently, letting gravity take your body down in almost a mini trust fall, knowing there will be a soft landing and that Seungcheol would never let you fall — unless it's for him.

Indeed, he does fall with you. Bodies pressed close together before he starts a burning trail of kisses starting below where the jeweled collar lays sparkling prettily against your throat. Down between your breasts he goes, an appreciative squeeze to both with warm hands that follow along with his movement. 

Little nibbles to your skin and brushes to your sides that first have you squealing at the sharp nips and ticklish sensations. They're accompanied by the upward curl of his lips that only spreads wider when those airy giggles of yours transition to light moans the closer he stakes his claim to the more intimate parts of your body.

He lovingly suckles the skin of your tummy, leaving stinging signs of affection littered around your belly button and right above the band of your panties. There, Seungcheol pauses and lifts his head to look directly at you, not even trying to hide the fiery swirl of lust and adoration in his eyes and it makes you wonder how you've ever missed it before. 

But that's neither here nor there, every nerve in your system is lit up in a wave of heat that has your hips instinctively rising as if pleading with him. Enough that his brown irises can't help but flit down to observe with raised eyebrows only to meet your flustered expression again with a totally-full-of-himself stare.

"So sweet and needy," Seungcheol murmurs appreciatively and hooks both thumbs underneath the side wings of your underwear to tug them off. "So fuckin' messy too," he adds in a condescending tone as if someone between your legs isn't licking his lips like a man lost in the desert for days stumbling upon a hidden oasis.

The bold eye contact he gets a kick out of maintaining is broken just to watch how the fabric adheres to your center thanks to the mix of his cum from much earlier and the constant leak of arousal pooling from your heated core. He's slow in the process of removing the saturated clothing. Giddy anticipation building until it finally peels away with a suggestive squelch to reveal your creampied cunt.

A choked groan rumbles in his chest. You're caught in the struggle between snapping your legs together out of shyness or letting them fall open just as he likes, the fear of soiling the couch again no longer even a thought. But still in no rush, Seungcheol slips your panties down one leg and while they hang off the other, supports your heel in his palm to place butterfly kisses along your ankle.

You peek at him in between the fingers covering your eyes and heated cheeks. "What are you doing?"

"Admiring you." Smooch. "Adoring you." Peck. "Marveling at how beautifully wet you get… this all for me, love?"

"Yeah, so… so you should take re-responsibility."

"Oh? And how so? What for?"

"Mmph!" You jolt at how fast he moves to fling your underwear over his shoulder and hover over top of you, whispering naughty words into your ear while roughened finger pads brush against slick folds.

"For knockin' you up? Not my fault this hungry pussy is never satisfied no matter how many times I stuff it. Greedy lil' thing."

"'m s-sorry… I — oh! Ohh…" 

"You don't sound sorry." 

Seungcheol mocks the shuddering moan that spills past your lips like he hadn't just shoved two chunky digits past those slippery folds and into the suffocating warmth beyond. His pointer finger bears its usual silver ring, the cold metal there and around your neck causing you to break out in a sweat at the chill engulfing your whole body. All from the heat swirling from the neck down, the torturous buildup between your legs, and meeting in a firestorm that explodes in your gut and makes your cunt tighten around his moving digits.

Your right arm snakes behind his nape and clings around it for dear life, nearly slamming the man's face into your tits — not that he's complaining — while the other sneaks between your bodies. Trailing down to where Seungcheol's fingers plunge inside of you, running yours across his exposed knuckles to dampen them with the filthy mix of arousal and cumstains he's playing in before tugging and teasing at your clit right above his vigorous actions. 

He clicks his tongue. "Now, what did I say about touching things that belong to me?"

"Don't touch without permission." A warning look that lacks any ferocity is shot your way but the corner of your lips quirks up, eyelashes fluttering, because he's really just full of shit. "And to handle… handle them with care, which 's all I'm doin'."

"Brat."

"You love me." 

"Damn right, I do. But if you're gonna use that against me like this maybe I have no choice but to discipline you."

You whimper when he withdraws his fingers, the loss and emptiness a punishment itself. "D-don't be mean."

"I'm never mean to you."

"You're not." You acquiesce with a cute little sniffle, interlocking your hands behind his neck to bring him down nose to nose. "'cept when I want your dick but s'kay, love you anyways."

"Using the L-word on me now, huh? Speaking of which, I never got you back for the little stunt you tried to pull earlier."

"Wha — ?"

The new position you had pulled him into grants Seungcheol the full teasing power he was honored to be blessed with. A dripping cock leaks precum between your bodies and smears your belly with the hot excess. Supported by a forearm beside your head, he languidly strokes his hard length and snickers. Barely wedging the mushroomed tip into your moist outer folds with a noisy squish and emitting a strangled groan from the back of the man's throat. Just enough so you can feel the faint tantalizing burn his girth promises in its efforts to stretch out your cunt, a buzz to the underside of your deliciously sore and engorged clit upon contact.

He's all toothy when you moan in response. Wiggling his hips lets him dip in a little further for the sole purpose of watching your eyes glaze over and threaten to roll to the back of your head. Lips parting wider in an adorable 'o' shape.

"Thought you could just leave like it's nothing. As if I don't fuck you full of enough cum to babytrap you here with me… Oh? You'd like that wouldn't you, pussy tryna gobble me up like the slutty whore that you are."

"Mmph, ah… only yours!"

No one has to be your special someone to read your body so easily but it's the fact that he is the one who's able to make your cunt react and squeeze around him just like so that fuels his ego. A mean sneer chisels his softer face features — less of a reaction towards you and more of him struggling not to plunge his pelvis forward and rearrange your guts. Or even worse (better), to bust a nut inside, painting your velvet walls with a creamy white. 

It would be so easy to slide in a little further… you're begging him with slurred words and a steady pulsating grip around his dick — just daring him to ease the rest of it inside.

But then you would never learn your lesson. And if there's one thing Seungcheol loves more than being wrapped up in the tight clench of your cunt, it's making you work for it. Show off how desperate and cock-drunk you are. 

"Y'know, all you had to do was tell me. Would've fucked you on every surface of this house, make sure there wasn't a moment that passed where you didn't have my cum dripping down your legs." He relents with the most meager of thrusts forward, widening the spread of your pretty folds suckling around him. "Anything to keep my darling 'lil babymaker satisfied, pump you full every minute of the day and make sure it takes."

"Ch-Cheol… please! Wan' you so bad."

"You'd like that, right? Givin' you a baby so you stay here forever. We'll make as many as you want, I'll even take time off to help." The sudden rush of paternal instincts makes the man pause, chuckling and muttering more to himself, if anything, "maybe you've been tryna babytrap me all along."

"Jus' want, just want your dick."

"I know, baby."

Seungcheol simpers at your pitiful plea but the menace in him victoriously pulls out and away, the departing wet 'pop' as loud as the slight fracture in his heart at doing so.

"No!"

In visible grief, your seizing legs clamp at his side with your heels digging into the dip right before the curve of his ass, clawing at his shoulder blades like a cat. That does nothing though except squish his length against your needy cunt, gliding pathetically against it but not once inside. 

He smirks and whispers hoarsely, "If you want it so bad, put it in yourself."

A shaky hand reaches down to grasp and stroke at his dick, inadvertently brushing against your swollen clit that has your hips jumping. You bite down on your lower lip in an attempt to concentrate, blindly guiding his slippery cockhead to where it rightfully belongs. All while Seungcheol watches with amusement and a pained expression of how heavenly your hand feels on him — and even more when you succeed and bully him inch by inch inside of your gummy walls that suction and ripple greedily.

"There we go, yeah fuck… just like that."

Further and further, squelch by squelch until your pussy stretches to swallow and take him all. Only a finger's width between your pelvises kissing one another, knuckles snug against his heavy scrotum. You release him with triumph, clinging again to his neck. Seungcheol takes the final push and you let out simultaneous moans when his balls settle warmly against your ass and the neatly trimmed hairs at the base of his shaft are flush with your pubic bone. The tiny rough strands becoming even more soft and soaked by all of the arousal leaking out of your hole and his slit.

"Mine," he affirms and sticks his pinky through the open diamond heart pendant, nail lightly scratching the front of your throat. 

"Yours." You hold onto his wrist, finally feeling so deliriously full and giggling a bit because you're somewhat light-headed. "You're mine too."

"Yeah, all yours, baby."

Seungcheol's beginning thrusts are slow, deep, and concentrated. He barely leaves your warmth, only sliding a little bit back before a harsh thrust forward to nudge his tip against the rougher spot that has some drool dribbling at the corner of your mouth out of sheer pleasure. 

That doesn't last long though, the both of you are extremely worked up and super sensitive. It only takes a few minutes before he's setting an erratic pace. Strong forearms cage your head to protect it and keep you somewhat stationary while giving him enough strength to absolutely plow into you without forgiveness. 

The couple thousand dollar choker starts to shift against your skin, bouncing ever so slightly in time with each repetition of relentless slams into your pussy. Such a sight delights Seungcheol so much, eyes focused on the glittery accessory and listening for its rhythmic jingle — bruising your tender flesh in ways that his lips don't — that ends up drowned out by the continual slap of the hard fucking he delivers.

"Gonna cum for me, sweetheart? Let me fill ya up?"

"S-soon! 'm gonna cum… so soon!"

"I… know. Oh fuck, I know baby. Let go for me, please. Surrender… ngh 'n give it all to me."

A powerful climax washes over you like a surprise, the setoff finalized by the large hand placed on your tummy. Applying just enough pressure to feel every vein and ridge of the cock against your inner walls while on the outside, Seungcheol lets out a guttural and feral groan at the upward bulge beneath his fingertips. 

You let go with a wail that's swallowed by his lips capturing yours. Your nails dig into whatever you're grasping onto, teeth unconsciously biting down on his tongue you meant to simply caress with your own. 

He lets out a strangled "oomph!" but the pain is easily sedated by the seductive way you contract and massage his dick in your unraveling — and then unprompted, he's spilling over the edge too. Coating your walls in thick ropes of white that sear your insides, gobbling up the release with repeated clenches as you both pant and wait for the orgasmic bliss to fade out.

"I think you're so sexy." Seungcheol mumbles the words tiredly into your shoulder and the laugh you let out sounds more like a winded wheeze.

"How lucky I am that you think that, has the post-nut clarity hit yet or… ?"

"I'm serious. I love you."

"I love you too. Happy birthday to my perfect sugar boyfriend or whatever."

He snorts, lifting his head to send you a lazy grin. "Yeah, happy birthday to me — the luckiest bitch on the planet to be loved by you."

"Spoiled is more like it but yeah. I'd say I'm pretty lucky too."

Adoration shines in both of your weary eyes, though Seungcheol has the audacity to lick his now very dry and cracked lips. "Say, was I right in picking out your gift or do you need more test runs?"

"What I need is a hot bath — no funky business — and at least twenty-four hours of sleep."

"That sounds good too. Y'know… if we sleep for a whole other day and confirm our relationship then, we can fuck for two days straight every year as an anniversary celebration!" His voice lowers, already acting naughty and unintentionally work himself up. "And then I'm positive you'll be bred properly."

You slap his shoulder. Hard. "Choi Seungcheol!"

"'m just kiddin'," he blatantly lies and gently pulls out of your sloppy pussy. Grunting at the goop and messy wetness that got everywhere. "Think we'll need to get a new couch."

"Great idea! Now, you can spend your money on something practical."

"Love you too." 

"God, what did I get myself into." When you roll your eyes, a toothy grin is what you receive in return. 

"I dunno, love, but I think this roommates to fuck buddies to lovers arrangement will work out beautifully, don't you?"

You give him another kiss just to shut him up. If you ever admit he's right, well, that would be with a mouthful of cock and a story saved for another time.

onlyseokmins: September 2023 ©

[autiezo]

Sadly, while I was writing an 'Incorrect Disco Elysium" quote, it turned into a Jean centered one-shot fic.

The original idea was "Jean insults everyone except Kim and Jules while introducing a rookie into Precinct 41 (Judit is absent that day), and also accidentally admits that he likes Harry."

[Writer rambles under the cut]

20 minutes into writing this, I was like "Shit, this is way too long. These aren't a list of quotes anymore." Which is probably a good thing since the idea isn't a super punchy 'Ha-ha funny' and would benefit much more if I explored the characters properly. Also, it's not like many DE fans would be on Jean's side on this, so it falls flat as a quote. Hell, even I wouldn't without paragraphs of context. In fact, I'd just be waiting for Jean to be humiliated/humbled because I love bullying him.

Also, it turned into a Y/N fanfic?? I never read those since I personally find them low-key off-putting. Like a "Don't tell me what to do!" type of deal. However, I didn't wanna put in an OC that does nothing except nod along and follow the story, since I find that more lame. If I'm putting in an OC, I want to make them count. Honestly? I'm excited to take on the challenge. I could do a work-around and write a reason on why Y/N is acting the way they are. Also, for some reason I pictured Y/N as female at first, probably because I'm a woman too. But nah, scratch that, I want Y/N to be any gender possible so that everyone can be Y/N in this. The only tiny hiccup is that they are referred to as 'they', but that's fine since I can't have everything ngl.

If y'all have seen some of my 'Incorrect DE quotes', you'd know I take the term very very loosely. Like the time I had Harry and Kim read the Death Note, or the time I had them discuss Kim's Dream, or the classic time where Kim used the eyebrow on Jean. Those ones are 1 or 2 paragraphs long.

For this idea I have rn? I wrote down two paragraphs and haven't even gotten to Harry's part. Sheesh. I already cut out all the background details here, that's how off the rails this went.

I'm happy that I got to write Mack and Chester shenanigans though. Writing for DE minor characters is always a bonus. And... huh. Maybe one of them should briefly flirt with Y/N as they walk away? Ohhhh or they'd tag-team ngl. It'd be a joke to get a reaction, but still. I haven't seen much of those two, but I feel like they'd be jokesters 90% of the time, like hooligan schoolboys hanging out at the back of the classroom. Gonna have to read their quotes on Fayde before I make any further assumptions.

But yea, it's definitely a one-shot. The biggest this could expand into is a series of slice-of-life RCM office one-shots, but that's unlikely. I'm not too keen on writing Y/N for too long. Hypothetically, by some miracle, if I do end up writing those then I'd either turn Y/N into an OC instead, or research on how to make Y/N interesting while also including the reader themselves.

Y/N characters... sigh. In my personal (and possibly ignorant) opinion, they tend to be really generic and/or suffer the "Marvel Sarcasm Bot" effect. Personally, I have never related to a Y/N character. When I was a teen first reading TMNT 2012 fanfic, I always thought Y/N was someone else, and never me.

Ah, I could make Y/N an introverted person who keeps to themselves, so that they could be an observer. That's one idea. It could work since I can put it in the tags and author notes, so that the reader knows what's up first. hmmmmm

[glorified-red]

Can you give some examples of show vs tell in your own fics? And do you always have to show?

I'd love to! Writing advice is one of my favorite things to do on here

Whenever it comes to show vs tell, there's always the question of how much is too much of one category, how to balance it properly, etc. When you have an excess of showing, your writing will read like poetry. When you have an excess of telling, your writing will read like scholarship. Both are useful in their own genres but the fun part is figuring out where your style lies within the spectrum.

I find my balance depends on what I aim to do with my scene. Whenever I want to set the vibe or setting, I begin with telling so my readers instantly know what to imagine, but then I dive into the details to really sharpen the image. This is seen best with You Are Loved, Damian Wayne:

Within the first line I tell: "Gotham was particularly gloomy tonight . . . A thunderstorm was brewing in the distance."

But the next paragraph I show evidence of what I just said: "Tonight the clouds were a harsh shade of coal . . . Rain pattered against the window like tiny bullets trying to chip away at the glass."

So these lines happen within the first two paragraphs very close together. The difference lies within implication. Within the "show" category, it's very obvious theres a storm happening but it doesn't explicitly say "theres a storm" like it does within the "tell" category.

I do the opposite whenever I talk about a character's headspace. I like to show evidence of everything to get the readers to speculate or draw conclusions of whats happening to then tell them the reality when the right moment hits. I find this creates tension rather than confusion.

This is also seen within You Are Loved, Damian Wayne:

Showing: "Damian was many things, vigilant was one of them. Yet, he was still as stone, even his fingers laid without so much as a twitch on top of his lap—it was unnerving . . . His katana was missing from his side, that fact alone made your heart sink . . . You had never seen him weaponless before."

So now we know something is wrong but we can't quite figure out what. It builds tension.

Showing: "There was blood soaked into his hands . . . From so close, you could see a streak of blood on his jawline, a tiny handprint that sagged downwards in a jagged line."

It doesn't explicitly say a child died, but it's painfully obvious and now we know why Damian is upset, but again, that lies within implication.

The best advice I was ever given with telling a character's motivations, emotions, actions, etc, is that you should do this through dialogue rather than exposition. It feels more natural this way and feels less "omnipotent narrator" and more like actual storytelling.

So when I tell within this scene, it's within this line: “A child lost their life today because of my own incompetence,” Damian sighed out harshly, “my own stupid mistakes left a family broken and grieving.” 

Now everything is crystal clear. We know why Damian is upset (he blames himself for a child's death) and it's done so in a way that drives the scene forward emotionally. We can now dissect his emotions and see how him and the reader interact together within this tense moment.

So how you utilize both is what will determine your tone and your style. Again, they're both useful! Especially when paired together in intentional ways. For creative writing, I usually try to reserve telling for establishing setting intially and dialogue. Most writers and movie scriptwriters will do this a lot with driving plot forward through dialogue.

Just experiment, I know I sound like a broken record, but tbh, it's all about experimentation. I didn't get good at the concept of showing until I wrote Nightmare and my entire goal was to just dive into imagery.

Best advice? Write out a scene where you can't say where you are. If your character is at the beach, don't just say that. Talk about the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore, the sand in the shoes, the sun hot against the shoulders. That'll get your brain to start getting used to showing.

[themessengervevo]

Hi, this isn't my usual art post or occasional reblog, but this has been bugging me for an amount of time now and I can't help myself but to share this.

So as of recent with the whole Palestine vs Israel ordeal I noticed quite a lot of reblogs and asks of palestinian and (gazaian? gazan? idk) people wanting support due to the whole thing, and before i decided to deep dive into this I thought not much of it, "they need some help right now, and that's fine", though I implore a no advertising policy for my online presence so I can't help with that.

I recently got an inbox message while I posted my recent art piece on here archive, which is a little weird for me but it happens sometimes. It's from one of those accounts claiming to be from Gaza, and it's written pretty sad and all, but the thing that made it weird is the timing of this ask being sent out. It was sent about two days after another one of these. The scratched out part of the screenshot below is a gofundme link.

Now of course I'm a little bit of a skeptic, and I also empathize with people of Gaza and Palestine and the horrors They're going through, but this specific message ticked me off on a bit of an oddity so to say. As I said back in two paragraphs ago, I've been noticing more and more people rebloging posts and asks about people in Gaza who are suffering and all, but after looking into it, they all seem rather similar, aren't they?

Now of course this is the internet, there will inevitably be someone in Gaza posting on Tumblr, but there's a weird repetitiveness of these numerous accounts. Many of them are in the ranges of 17 to early 20's, many of them claim to have a prestigious position like a degree in medicine or science, many of them detail in overly long prose about many tragedies, and many of them end in a gofundme link. And that's practically the only charity website that's used. A bit weird, but whatever, it's just for letting people know, right?

This is the account I showed earlier, the scratched out part is, again, a gofundme link for support, understandable, but weird. But look at the post history, and you'll see that every single post, starting straight from the first one on August 19th, and only breaking at milestone posts (like the 5 posts one), is entirely devoted to advertising this gofundme link, and it is the exact same one. Wouldn't this user, who purpotedly is on Tumblr and in Gaza, be doing any other activity, like liking posts, reblogging other's posts that arent his, anything that isn't just constant advertisement?

Now of course this wouldn't be all that odd with only one guy doing this sort of thing, but I have witnessed so many accounts that do nothing but post their gofundme links with formatting so similar, you'd think they are plagiarizing from each other. From the same giant titles saying "Listen to me" or "Read this message", to the same coloring of texts, to even posting this stuff as soon as they create their account and pinging alot of random, seemingly unrelated accounts. Why are there so many of them, and why do all of them have gofundme links?

Now this might piss off a grand amount of people considering the whole Palestine and Gaza strip stuff, but there might be a miniscule, really tiny chance, that this stuff might be illegitimate? That all of these accounts with nearly identical post history, style, and substance might be all a ruse to funnel a ton of money from clueless people? Maybe they are using random's identities, maybe these randoms get a cut from the overall funding, but there's always a chance it might be a scam. It's all too artificial and bot-like for me.

I don't know though, maybe it's just me being skeptical of everything these days.

[fraeuleintaka]

Thoughts about the official Investigations 2 Localisation

This is the 16th post in the Ace Attorney Investigations Collection Countdown: 65 days left until release!

Today's topic: Some thoughts about the official localisation of Investigations 2!

I already mentioned this in my very first countdown post and how amazing it is that we finally get Investigations 2 officially released in the West after 13 years but I think this important event requires a whole separate post to talk about some more.

While the response to this announcement is overwhelmingly positive I've also seen some expressing mixed feelings about it (especially the new names of some main character which I will get to in another post). And I get it. The fan translation is truly amazing and many of us have been experiencing the game that way for 10 years, grown attached to the characters with these names and fell in love with the way certain scenes are written. Finally getting an official localisation is a dream come true and I love that many more people will have access to playing the best game in the series. I'm looking forward to comparing the new localisation with the fan translation and seeing everything they did differently (or even the same) but I'm also just a tiny little bit hesitant to see certain things and details that I've loved about the game be changed or even disappear entirely.

[Spoiler warning for Investigations 2 in the next paragraph]

Completely disregarding the different names, for example, I wonder how the official localisation will handle Blaise' speech pattern. I don't know Japanese myself but I've read that in the original he has a somewhat youthful/casual way of speaking which contrasts with his power and appearance. The fan translation carried this over by having him frequently add phrases like "y'see" or "y'know" at the end of his sentences. Will the official localisation do something similar? Or ignore it? Will Blaise also frequently call Sebastian an "idiot" or will they choose a different insult? Will Sebastian refer to him as "pops"? Which phrases/words will Sebastian misuse and how? Or other details, will the foreshadowing of Simon's name by de Killer stay? Will the president's speech also have the double meaning of implying the start of Simon's revenge scheme kicking off? Will Blaise' comment to Sebastian trying to stand up to him in I2-5 have similarly dark implications? Will Miles also start referring to Sebastian by first name during I2-3 and imply their similar origins at the end of the case? What will the name of the P.I.C. or the Grand Tower be and what will the cases be called?

There are so many small things I love about Investigations 2's script as I've experienced it through the fan translation. I don't doubt that the official localisation could even improve upon it and make some characters or scenes work even better but I am a little bit afraid of losing some of these wonderful details or having them replaced by a version I like less.

In the end, I'm incredibly excited about seeing what the official localisation does with the best game in the series and I can't imagine it being overall "worse" than the fan translation. In some ways it's going to be fascinating to see two slightly different versions of the same epic story and how the different translators approached the trickier things. And no matter what the official localisation ends up doing, the fan translation will always stay close to my heart. I don't think anything could completely replace it at this point with how long I've loved the game in this version. I'm open for the changes the official localisation makes and I'm sure I'll love it just the same but I think some part of me will always hold on to the fan translation in my heart.

[nariism]

I am not okay after that S** fic HOLY SHIT I literally curled up into a ball while reading it and trying not to bawl

"He's gotten meaner over the years. He was always a rude little kid, but being pushed around in football must have given him thicker skin and a sharper tongue. You've never known him to be a saint of a human, someone who speaks so eloquently in their descriptions. But here he is now, defying your every expectation like he always does. He tells you what colour your hair is. Compares the shape of your head to a fruit you can't recall an image of. Gives you a detailed explanation of all your flaws and marks and why he thinks they're so perfect because it proves that you were indeed alive and human at some point. "You're beautiful," he concludes casually, as if he's not turning the entire world on its head right now."

(massive extract yes) THIS PART WAS SO AOBAOUDBOASBDASLODNLSAKDN THAT'S SO ADORABLE?? I'M SCREAMING "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL" HITS DIFFERENT AFTER THAT PARAGRAPH OF HIM DESCRIBING READER

HIM MISSING HIS DATE FOR THEM TOO OH MY FUCKING GOD

It's even cuter since reader thought they look scary bc everyone left ╥﹏╥

"Sae puts his phone down at your confusion. "Should I give you a birthday if you're going to grow up?" You don't know what a birthday is. When he tries to explain it, you're even more perplexed. Ghosts don't have birthdays. They have... deathdays. He puts a cake in front of you anyways and lets you blow out the candles."

THE WHOLE BIRTHDAY SCENE AND HIM NOTICING LONGER HAIR MADE ME WANNA SOB (in a good way) I have a massive soft spot for birthday scenes (especially when it's for characters without one or if they've never celebrated properly)

"There isn't a note. There isn't an explanation anywhere to be found. There isn't even a trace of evidence that Itoshi Sae ever lived here."

I also wanted to sob here (not very happily this time) S** YOU FUCKING IDIOT YOU SHOULD'VE LEFT SOMETHING- The eggs and rice tho :(( the fact that he cared was obvious (THE BIRTHDAY CAKE TOO AOINAIOEDN) but it would've been so painful to be in reader's position + the guilt would've killed me if I were him

""Do you want one?" He asks. You look at him in a strange way and his knees grow weak beneath him. You nod. He comes out five minutes later with a few packs in his hand, walking away from you down the street to the park. You follow him quietly as if 7 years of distance never existed between you. Sae holds one out, flicks the lighter in his pocket open and ignites the first sparkler. You watch it in fascination, ghostly form illuminated in warm orange and yellow light."

THE SPARKLER SCENE WAS MY FAVOURITE !! Reader wanting them despite not being able to read the poster was adorable 😭 The repetition of "as if 7 years of distance never existed between you" really accentuates their bond and I absolutely love it

My heart is still aching after reading (ಥ﹏ಥ) (not a complaint tho). Something about the afterlife hurts (like reader never being able to know what they look like with their own eyes, or not being able to understand who they were when they were alive)

This is definitely my favourite S** fic (and favourite out of all your fics) it's adorable and beauteous, yet so gut wrenching at the same time, 11/10, well done Soph !! <3

soutaaaaaa 😭😭😭 whenever i see you in my inbox going absolutely ham about one of my fics i prepare the tissues and get curled up into my blanket in bed bc i just know i'm going to be sobbing happy tears by the end. you're such a sweetheart and your kind words are genuinely one of the reasons i haven't felt burnt out writing in the last while 🥹🥹💗💗💗💗

i'm such a sucker for afterlife/haunting fics and i kinda wanted to try this style of writing in tiny drabbles and it just fit. i'm ALSO a sucker for the bday trope heudhwudhdh😭💗💗 its just so adorable and i feel like i always want my loved ones to feel special on their birthday and it just makes me so happy imagining sae to be the same way even though he's a hardass 🫶🫶

UGHGGHHHGHG IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS ALL AND SAVING IT FOREVER YOU'RE SO SWEET AND YOU TAKE SO MUCH OF YOUR OWN TIME TO REALLY GO THROUGH THE FINER DETAILS AND IT MAKES ME FEEL SO APPRECIATED AND SEEN AND YUHFHFUFHRIBFEKFBICNF. COME HERE SOUTA IM GONNA. IM GONNA GIVE YOU ALL THE BAKED GOODS. ALL THE CANDY. IM GONNA HUG YOU.

🫶🫶🫶🫶

[deathfavor]

I may have touched on this but I think it’s just been something I’ve had rattling around in my head. But my apologies if I have already written about this.

Hua Cheng says Ling Wen’s essay isn’t anything special. Now , first of all , we know he’s incredibly biased for starters. But I also want to point out context is extremely important. How you look at writing depends on if you’re doing it for leisure / enjoyment or academic settings or countless other methods. And as self-taught and knowledgeable as Hua Cheng is , he ISN’T an academic scholar like He Xuan or Xie Lian or Jing Wen or many others are/were. There’s a lot of things that go into writing that most people do subconsciously. But everything from what word you start a paragraph with to the length you make a paragraph says something for that piece. At least for academics who focus on that. One of my courses in college went into so many tiny details in academic writing analysis that I’d never considered or realized were impactful. I'd been utilizing techniques without even knowing they were there. So maybe from a leisurely point it might not be super impressive , especially compared to Jing Wen’s ‘ jaunty and elegant ‘ piece. But the reality is it could be more impressive in the technical aspects. When you make something overly elegant, you often end up both losing the audience (which is a KEY PART of a writing competition where votes matter) and losing technical elements. Which is fine! Authors have their own voices, but it could be a hit against him.

But ANOTHER point is that elegant and extravagant isn’t always better like I mentioned above. Fancy words and imagery or complex sentences don’t automatically make your writing better , contrary to what people tend to think. ( Especially if you can’t understand what is being described or said because the person is too over-the-top. ) In the right context , ‘ He didn’t move. ‘ could be FAR more powerful than ‘ He laid like a broken doll , still and unmoving on the ground. ‘ And vise versa , detail CAN be far better and paint a clear picture. It’s all about context and purpose of the sentence. Do you want that particular sentence to set up the scene or do you want it to make the readers feel something or let them glimpse in a character’s mindset ? It’s all about purpose. Some of my favorite lines in text are very simple , and some are very poetic. It all just depends

But this is a major point and something I do applaud Hua Cheng for is his understanding of appeal in writing. Ling Wen wrote to appeal to people. And this is something important in writing. Obviously you write your own stories , but in competitions , in academics for grades , you write to appeal to your audience. Xuli was in a bad political situation , people were angry and upset and displeased. While Jing Wen was singing about how ‘perfect’ Xuli was , and how it likely seemed like it to the rich and powerful, Ling Wen wrote to the appeal of the common people. She gave voice to the people’s grievances and didn’t shy away from pointing out the flaws. No matter HOW pretty you may write , if most people disagree and hate it  , it won’t win and it won’t do well. Furthermore , like Hua Cheng said , there were already thousands of writings praising Xuli , so Jing Wen’s was nothing. A bit fancier maybe , but it’s the same thing just reworded a bit. But Ling Wen’s was something new , shocking , refreshing. It appealed to people , people could easily understand it ( since she said she used to write letters and sonnets for all kinds of people ) , of course it would win. Who wants to struggle reading a 24 page essay where they barely understand the words when they could read 24 pages of something they can easily understand and agree with ?

It was ‘ better ‘ because maybe it wasn’t the fanciest , but it was new , it was what the people felt , and it could be read with ease. And may have been better in technical applications or been more effective.

[thusatlas]

Okay, after spending what feels like 5 hours to try to send a longer message on tumblr – as the comments would only let me send a short paragraph and I didn't want to spam (to my shame I have to admit I’m not here very often and don't know how to tumblr) – I might finally be able to send this (or accidentally make a post or start a new cult instead, who knows, I'm talented like that). 🙈

First of, hello 😊

You have no idea how relieved I am to have found this information on The Fuckening. I just wanted to reread it (again 😅 because it's one of my go-tos for comfort reading) and was shocked to see it gone. I had feared that it would be lost forever, but knowing now that it will be back – no matter in which form – I’m glad. And you can bet that I will buy the hell out of your books when they arrive ❤

Do you have a rough estimate when I will be able to give you all my money in exchange for the best entertainment of my life? I will wait forever if I have to, of course, I’m just curious (and as you can guess eager to see how the story continues) 😅

And I don’t know if you want to give away any kind of information, but will Taliesin still be in it? I have kind of (read: completely) fallen in love with his character. And if I wouldn’t already ship him with Agent Jay like I (maybe too often) mentioned in the comments on the story (because I can’t help to be like that and obsess over minor characters and tiny side characters – just like with Theo and Blaise in the original books... and someone who almost no one understands, Zacharias Smith... but I'm repeating myself), I would want him for myself. 😅

I wish you the best of luck with your project and much inspiration 🍀❤

P.S.: Sorry for the many paranthesis 😅

Hello, my dearest! I have missed hearing from you! Kudos to you for figuring out the ask system - ngl, it all remains a mystery to me and I end up spamming people because I haven't the foggiest where to begin on fandangling the website to bend to my will. So well done! You're doing better than me! (But also, I will always endorse the creation of any cult, so I feel like you should do that anyway).

The only reticence I had about pulling the Fuckening was losing contact with the regulars who weren't necessarily in contact on Tumblr, so I am relieved to see you here. And I am really pleased you're still invested in the story despite it shifting universe - it's actually a huge relief. I hope you like where it ends up!

As for a rough estimate of when it'll be available? Not a clue. Not this year. I'll aim for an optimistic soft deadline of it being available in some form or another in 2024, but this is dependent on a million different variables that I don't really have control over. I'm going to try the traditional publishing route first, so this is going to eat into a lot of time, and then, in the miracle that I'm successful at securing the various buy-ins, the timeline will be dependent on a whole host of other things, so it may not even be in that year at all.

Failing all of that, I'll just self-publish, which shortens the timeline substantially. But even still, got to at least give the trad publishing route a go first before writing it off.

And this doesn't include the inevitable periods of writer's block and lack of will.

Either way, I'll keep you all updated with news, etc.

Alternatively, I've launched a (rough) author website and a Twitter where I'll be posting short stories and probably looking at newsletters, etc: Regan Atlas Website, Twitter

(I hate the whole marketing side of this business. My roommate is trying to convince me to start a Tiktok... I don't know if I can bring myself to that yet). For now, Tumblr will be my main source of coms because I am comfortable with hiding in this hellsite.

(( Also, spot the author name))

As for details, I love that you appreciate Tal and Agent Jay. I loved them very much too, so, of course, they will be appearing in the adaptation. The relationship between Tal and Hermione was something so tender that I think this new world is going to need to offset from the rest of the fuckery. And Jay and Kilmore are essential for the whole worldbuilding shenanigans so they'll def stay for the ride.

Thank you so much for your kindness, and I hope you know how much I have and continue to appreciate you. Stay in touch!! <3

[ladyhindsight]

For a climactic point, it sure is boring. This chapter also holds a lot of quoting previous writing. Fun.

Clary is back at the helm. Jace had stunned her and she “comes back to consciousness in the marble lobby of a strange building, under the shadow of an unlit chandelier.” The chandelier has been described now by Simon and Clary. Jace brings Clary to the terrace and Clary finally sees Sebastian.

In the previous chapter, Simon also called it Snow White-esque scene. Glad to see the same descriptions circulating between the characters.

→ Second seaweed mention.

This kind of naivete and blind trust in a situation where Jace obviously is not himself will only get you hurt.

Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison. That poison?

→ How many times can you repeat the same information

Lilith then, once again, explains the plot, and Clary is shocked to find that their actions have consequences.

Again with the remembering. Also, loving this second moment of self-consciousness but as it amounts to nothing, it means nothing. Self-loathing and pity mean nothing.

→ There has never been given a reason why exactly it was kept secret. It’s not like Jace’s family ever crossed their minds. It’s not like Clary wanted to hide the selfish thing she did when she only asked for Jace. There is nothing, just plain agreement. Also, Jace is just as much complicit in the secret-keeping as Clary is.

Lilith, again, for the third time, explains the plot. Good lord, I hope they all are finally on the same page.

The first sentence is useless because you can first show the flash of realization and then confirm it with dialogue.

→ The demon woman’s voice had dropped to a low chant, and Clary saw her father standing inside a pentagram...

We return to the Investigation Team who have arrived to the mysterious building with an unlit chandelier. 

Yes, shut up, Jordan. I will maim you. 

The reaction this is going for → Aww, despite all this time hating Jordan, Maia still held onto a toe ring he bought her! She still has feelings for him despite everything, and now that she knows the truth, they can get back together!

Yuck.

They search every floor, and in one they find something horrible, but the writing cuts away back to the roof garden to keep the suspense up.

→ Pointless adverb when we can see Jace being obedient to Lilith’s orders.

LILITH EXPLAINS THE PLOT FOR THE FOURTH TIME.

Enough for demon thoughts to afflict him but not enough that Jace and Alec’s parabatai bond should ever be brought up or taken into consideration.

Why is this so hard concept for them to grasp? Why does this need to be explained gazillion times?

Whenever Simon and Clary’s history is brought up in attempt to call feelings from their long friendship, Simon’s character always goes to their early childhood, how he wanted to protect Clary, how tiny Clary is. Clary is always a this innocent little girl with braids who thinks about princes and castles. These memories are rather appearance-centered and pretty general. There is nothing really personal about these moments when Simon or Clary think of each other.

I liked when in the TV show, Clary says to Simon: “You’re still the same, Simon. You’re the same Simon I’ve known my whole life. The same guy who loves sci-fi and can recite every line from... from every Nicholas Cage movie. The same Simon who carried me over the Brooklyn Bridge when I lost my shoe, okay?” 

Because these are more specific details that focus on Simon as a person, and how Clary knows Simon, not just how Simon looks like.

One consistent point about Simon’s character is his sense of responsibility over Clary. Clary supposedly has it too, over Simon, but she is written so engulfed by Jace that it has never given similar chances to manifest.

How can the lid vanish while it peels back? It can’t. →The lid peeled back like the lid of a tin of sardines. As the top layer...

→ Writes a paragraph about how the lid vanishes and peels back → Feels the need to tell you the coffin is now open because some dumbasses might not be able to keep up.

→ Simon had hungered to drink Maureen’s blood, craved the feeling of his teeth sinking into her skin...

Simon bites into Sebastian’s neck, and we switch back to the Investigation Team. They have discovered several dead devil babies and are feelings pretty sick about it.

As he should.

Alec is of the Clave. This is barely brought up that he is also of the Conclave.

It’s irrelevant to be so vague about some piece of cloth on which one rubs their snot. → Jordan had given her a handkerchief.

Let Jordan be a handkerchief guy.

We know Sebastian was fast and strong. You can also deliver the main point without saying or ruminating over complementary things at all. ↓

“Why would anyone want more of him?” Alec’s voice was full of naked hatred.

“I guess they’re trying to breed a race of super-warriors,” Isabelle said.

HOW UNPREPARED WERE THEY?? Isabelle saw the place was dark as fuck, her pendant pulsed with demonic presence, yet she did not give herself runes to prepare for a possible battle??

The Tracksuit Person stalks the Investigation Team and Isabelle catches her. It is truly exciting. The Tracksuit Person then explains the plot from the cult’s point of view.

The highlighted part is irrelevant and veers too much from the moment. It’s irrelevant when Isabelle is going to deliver this information to the readers anyway, so one might suppose she knows a lot about the demon cults.

Alec comes to look for Isabelle who has separated from the others while giving chase.

This is just confusing the way the conversation is formatted. Because Isabelle is disgusted, it seems like what turn out to be Alec’s words are hers. The pattern repeats itself in the next paragraph, but here we are right to assume they are her words.

→ “She can’t hurt him, Izzy,” said Alec in a reasonable voice. “I know you’re worried, but he’s got...”

Alec and Isabelle are interrupted by an elevator ping. The rest of the Tracksuit Gang attack them.

[bonesandthebees]

How do you go about writing a chapter? Like, do you do a really messy first draft, or just go for it no outlining with just an idea of what you want in this chapter? Or anything else?

usually when writing longer fics like stars I outline a few chapters at a time, and then I follow those outlines (just a list of bullet points with plot beats I want to hit) until I run out and then I outline the next 2-3 chapters. so I have an outline for my chapters that I follow, but I also tend to add things as I go if a conversation flows a certain way, or I see an opportunity for something to happen that I didn't originally think of when I made the outline

(for my shorter form fics, I outline the entire thing before I start writing it, so I'm still following an outline for those as well)

my first drafts are basically what I publish. I don't do heavy editing. hell, I barely edit my stuff at all outside of a basic grammar check. as I write I might go back and reword a sentence or two if they sound weird, and on rare occasions while I'm writing a scene I might realize I have to delete a huge chunk of what I just wrote because it's not going in the direction I want. but I mainly just do that editing as I write the chapter itself. and again, that kind of stuff is few and far between. the vast majority of what I write the first go around is my final go around.

after i finish a chapter, I might have a friend of mine do a 'vibe check' on it (this is almost always eli birdfeet they help me so much) where they just read through the chapter and let me know if there are any glaring issues. like "hey you can delete this paragraph it's a little heavy-handed" or "you should add more physical descriptions to this conversation". just really overarching kind of stuff, not tiny details like word choice or sentence flow. it's not a beta read. it's far more chill than that. eli doesn't usually give me a ton of suggestions like that, maybe just 1 or 2 things to change per chapter. and most of the time I can do those in the span of a few minutes, and then the chapter is deemed good to go!

[abyssmalice]

Any advice for someone who wants to start up a muse oc blog :0?

( :O !!

well my first advice would just be to go for it - even if it doesn't work out or you decide not to continue with it for any reason, i do like having a separate blog around for storing details on that OC (especially if you're like me and put a LOT of thought into them that you don't want to up and delete later on). and who knows, you can always repurpose the blog for other things later on too if you want to consider that.

but moving past all that practical but kinda not very encouraging info - i do think it helps to make sure the details on your OC are accessible and readable!

and i don't just mean having an obvious link to a carrd or googly docs or an about page on your pinned post, or something like that. make sure the text on your muse profile + rules + whatever other info you want to provide is formatted in a simple enough way - no super tiny text, no weird color choices that makes it hard to read against the background color, for the love of god choose a readable font to begin with, and of course, paragraph breaks.

like it's mean of me a little but 50% of the time i simply do not interact with people who 1) don't make it easy to find info on their muse (this is kind of why i hate overly stylized themes on desktop; why am i spending five minutes mousing over the blog trying to figure out what part of your overly fancy background is a link?????) 2) don't make said info easy to even understand.

the other 50% is vibes. which, unfortunately to say, will probs be the main thing you're going to face - rpcs are a difficult place to get an OC into the door because your character is a completely new unknown, and while everyone will have their reasons, i know some people just don't have the energy to rp with everyone and will try to go with muses they can reasonably see their own muse interacting with off the bat. OCs present very fun, dynamic opportunities imo but you really need to plot out how exactly they can slot with other characters so some (lots) people may be disinterested just because they don't know where to start.

which is why you're probs gonna have to ensure, on top of all that, you stay encouraged for yourself, your writing and your muse - you're starting a blog because You can see some sort of potential in them interacting with others, so you have to push forward with that. try having ideas in mind for plots or relationships, and don't be afraid to promo yourself ten million times because either way that is going to happen so whatever man, just try to have fun with it

i suppose it also helps if your OC just has something unique about them - like a very specific thing about them that can work well with others (like a specific detail about their backstory that meshes well with the lore/background of other muses), has an intriguing premise (like for eg. my tonitonis running on an AU first and foremost), or they're just really entertaining during dash shenanigans or something

lol ok this got a bit long but yeeeeeaaaaah. OC muses work like, twice as hard just to grab a consistent stream of interest its very suffery gomenasorry)

[dashawfrostart]

This Week In “Time & Again” #24: Well… I’m Sometimes Bad At Naming My Blog Posts 🤷‍♀️ [and a tiny wee bit techy again]

It's high time to make yet another one new blog post with the progress report - but alas, I just keep working and working on everything according to my little list pinned to my desktop, and I am not sure what to report. It's just... steadily going forward. That is all.

Within these few days, I've finished an artwork that will be used as an easter egg on several pages of Chapter 6. As per usual, that will be a reference to an old and fairly famous but somewhat forgotten*-ish* franchise. So keep your eyes open once the chapter is released next year 😉

Mostly, aside from preparing (mentally as well as organization-wise) for GPop Fair quite hyperactively, I'm also steadily working on the cover arts right now. Which is odd. I don't remember myself working on the cover arts PRIOR to working on the chapters themselves. Oh boy, things sure change. Usually before, as a general rule of thumb, I worked on the cover arts last. Chapter 5 was a very good fresh example. Although I have the most cover arts sketched in my sketchbook (usually they have multiple versions sketched, and yet everything is still WIP until I decide on something concept-wise for sure), I usually set to work on them later on as I could see the full pictures of the chapters. Suddenly, I came up with excellent ideas for the cover arts for both Chapter 6.1 and 6.2. And both of them will strongly refer to a famous franchise that bears an incredible importance in the history of development of "Time & Again". More on the matter in detail I will probably write a paragraph for either Collector's Edition of "Time & Again" or in the Behind The Scenes book.

Here's a snyak 🐍 sneak peak (the screenshot has been made during the sketching phase; that is supposed to be a fairly complex art piece, so I needed the sketch this time to make everything extra clean):

Can you recognize the reference? 😉

That cover art is what I've been working on for the last few days. And finally now I'm getting to work on the cover art for Chapter 6.2 that most likely will take me less time says I often before something unexpected happens and it takes, like, quadruple amount of time vs what I anticipated, lol.

Ah! There is something little and neat I'd like to share before I wrap it up for today 🙃 I decided to try out Krita's native video recorder for the first time. I've known about that functionality in Krita before, but, regardless, I've always used my desktop recorder instead, virtually for everything, from taking screenshots of the lulz and fails found randomly across the internet to recording clips from my gaming sessions for... well, little to no purpose, because I decided not to spam my YouTube channel with gaming videos 😅. But, since it's been learning time for me in many ways lately, I decided to give it a try. Maybe it's awesome and I will use it all the time now?! The awesomeness about Krita video recorder is that it's automated (and everybody knows by now how much I love automation, yaaaaaay!): it automatically records the progress once you open the artwork no matter how much time passes in between the drawing sessions. You can start working on a picture, drop it, return to it, say, in a month, and the recording will continue. Awesome!

Here's the screenshot of the export video dialogue:

The settings are pretty self-explanatory. For those familiar with the basics of video editing, there's nothing new. I had to install ffmpeg in order to properly execute the conversion of the video. I had to fiddle with it for a bit before it started working: apparently, the latest version of ffmpeg (7.0.2) does not work in Krita for the reason unknown to me. I tried to resolve it by myself reading the log file left after the failed conversion - but then I stumbled across a Reddit post that talked about the exact same error I was getting, and it turned out that the previous version of ffmpeg (6.1.1.) still works in Krita. And then it assembled me a very nice video.

I have recorded near the whole process of drawing that piece: from the clean lineart to full colouring, AND including trying out an alternative background that I decided to discard in the end. Eventually I will post the timelapse video on my YouTube channel to pretend it's not dead lol. I will slightly edit and speed it up even more first.

One note though: the end of the video has weird moments of flashing white frames. I was aware that things like that might happen. But still, that's a bit odd. I will have to figure out how to deal with that issue... Because I don't want to have to slap an epilepsy warning in the beginning of the video 😱😅

Ok, wait, there's one more thing I wanted to ponder on before bidding farewell for a week (or two, or a month, how it often happens to me, lol). And it's kind of a... dreamy thing, with a twist of nostalgia and an off-beat bitter-sweet Traurigkeit involved.

Last year I was very upset about one thing. Sometime in Summer, in 2023, it was an 18-year-old anniversary of my very first set of original characters - Jade, Stu, and Alan. These three people were and still are very important to me. And of course, some of you still remember the abundance of the artworks featuring those individuals that I used to post frequently on my DeviantArt gallery. And of course, those of you who have read Chapter 2 of "Time & Again" remember the tiny and short - and rather questionable 😅 - cameo of the three on the background in one scene. I wanted to draw a celebratory portrait of the trio as a little gift to them, and to myself (for personal happiness). I even had a perfect idea for a little hilarious artwork with a cake. But then something happened (most likely, Chapter 4 of "Time & Again" happened, but I don't remember for sure anymore without my devlog notes, and they're in the living room, and I'm far too lazy to reach out to get them right now 🤣), and I simply forgot about my idea. I only remembered about it long due, sometime in mid Fall or even closer to Winter. I was very upset with myself. 18 years is A LOT, let me tell you. That's for how long I've lived with these characters, polishing them, growing them, nurturing them with numerous traits; they have been undergoing an enormous amount of changes in their personalities, backgrounds, personal history, etc. In short: everything that every single one of us is going through their lifetime, in the real life. In this respect, Stu, Alan and Jade are not much different from any of us. They're even fully "legal", LOL. It might look to some that they're obsolete - but that is far from the truth. I still have grand plans for them. They will take part in my future art endeavours 😉 The story of Alan, Stu and Jade has been rewritten numerous times - but it is most certainly still not complete. Doing an incredibly simple, possibly pre-school level math, we can easily deduce that in 2025 the three are gonna reach their 20-year-old milestone. And that's a long, long time.

Since I screwed up the little celebration big time in 2023 😫, and 20-year-old is a good milestone as well, I really want to put an effort into drawing a lovely artwork of the three next Summer. That is überimportant. That must happen. Yes, as you can see, Lothar and Jeanny are significantly younger than the dorky trio. Lothar and Jeanny probably think the other three are elderly people, LOL. Well... there's surely something entertaining that has to be portrayed on the milestone artwork next year. I'm looking forward to it 😁

[bettsfic]

writing cheats

i know i’ve probably written about these all individually but i’m putting them together in one post. these are writing tricks that are extremely cheap and dirty; when you use them it feels like cheating and honestly by posting them i’m probably exposing all the easy moves in my own work, but more than a writer i am a teacher, so here you go, some writing cheats that have never steered me wrong.

quick character creation

what’s really annoying is when you have two characters sitting at a restaurant or something and the server has to come by. to what degree do you describe the server so that it’s clear they’re just a background character but that they’re not just a faceless form, so that the world has texture without taking up too much space on the page? rule of three, babeyyy: two normal things and a weird one.

she had pale skin and blue eyes but her hair was dyed black like a 2010 emo kid.

he was tall and broad, and he wore a sweatshirt with an embroidered teddy bear on it.

the woman stood there comparing the prices of toilet paper. she had a short angled bob and carried a keychain the length of a trout.

why does it work? it gives the reader something to hang onto, a brief observation that shows the world exists around your narrator. it also works when introducing main characters, but there’s so much action going on that you can’t take time to write a rich long paragraph about them. all you need is a little hook.

quick setting creation

i used to TOIL over descriptive paragraphs. for years i was like, description is my weakness, i must become better at developing imagery. i believed this because a famous writer once projected a paragraph i had written onto a screen and asked my cohort, “count how many images are crafted in this paragraph.” there were none. none! my friends were sitting there like, “we are TRYING” but they couldn’t find any.

i would say that after years of studying imagery development at the sentence level, i am, perhaps, competent at it, but what was more helpful was for me to shrug and tell myself, “i’m just not a writer who does that.”

anyway. my cheat is thus: 

there’s not much you can assume about your audience. the audience is not a homogenous whole. but your ideal audience is something you can guess at, and that means you can play around with their existing knowledge and expectations. 

if you say your characters are in a tacky shit-on-the-walls restaurant, if your ideal reader is an american who went to restaurants during the maximalist era of franchise design, they will conjure their nearest memory of one of those places. and for those readers who aren’t familiar with it, they’ll use other context clues to conjure that space. the point is, you don’t have to list every single stupid license plate nailed to the wall. you can leave it as one detail of one sentence and let your reader extrapolate from there.

if i say the dentist’s office looked like a gutted 90s taco bell, maybe no ideal audience would have ever seen a place like that, but a lot of people can mentally conjure a dentist’s office and a 90s taco bell and overlay them together to create a weird and fun image.

you can go even simpler than that: a bathroom the size of an airplane lavatory. a tiny studio apartment with a hotplate instead of a stove. a mansion with a winding stairwell. the point is that you want to define the size of the space and its general vibes.

in some ways detailed description can be overrated, because your reader conjures images even in absence of them on the page. and for those readers who can’t mentally conjure images, it doesn’t matter anyway; they take you at your word. the trick is to figure out what details are unexpected, relevant to understanding the story and its characters, and those are the things that you add in.

one other note: after working with hundreds of writers on drafting, for *most* of us it’s difficult to develop images and establish setting in a first draft. it’s nearly always something to be saved for a second or later draft. i think it’s because while we’re writing we tend to put character and action first.

nail the landing

there’s a joke i heard once from a writer i really admire: “you know it’s literary fiction if the story ends with a character looking at a body of water.”

and god it’s so painfully sad and true how easy it is to nail the landing of a given story by ending on a totally irrelevant piece of imagery. the final beat of a story followed by your character looking up at the sky and seeing a flock of birds in the shape of a V flying past. or maybe they’re sitting in their car and they count the rings of a nearby church bell. or maybe they watch an elderly couple walk down the sidewalk hand-in-hand. i don’t know!! when in doubt shove an observation, an image, whatever, something neutral at the end and it’ll sound profound. 

(this cheat is the only one that can really bite you in the ass because if the image is too irrelevant you risk tonal incongruity. for use only in the most desperate of times.)

sentence fragments

when writers ask me how to punch up their writing or start developing their own style, my go-to advice is to give up the idea of a complete sentence. fuck noun-verb-object. if you have a series of character actions, knock off the sentence subjects like in script action. if the clause at the end of your sentence is particularly meaningful, don’t separate it with a comma but a period and make it its own thing. if your character is going through something particularly stressful or heinous, that bitch is not thinking in complete thoughts so you don’t have to convey them that way. make punctuation bend to your will!!

rhetorical moves

this one opened a lot of doors for me stylistically. remember that famous writer who called me out on my lack of imagery? i always thought his prose was beautiful, that he’s one of the best living prose writers, etc. once i learned more about rhetoric though, i realized he just employed it a lot. 

usually when we talk about beautiful sentences it means a sentence that uses rhetorical devices. the greeks were like, you know what, when we give speeches there are certain ways to phrase things that make the audience go nuts. let’s identify what those things are and give them names so we can use them intentionally and convince people of our opinions.

i love shakespeare, i really do, but one of the big reasons he’s still a household name today and his plays are still performed is because every sentence of every goddamn play utilizes a rhetorical device. the audience is hard-wired to vibrate at the sound and cadence of his writing, like finding the spot on a dog that makes their foot thump. for five hundred years, william shakespeare has been scritching that spot for us.

i have no idea why, cognitively, rhetorical devices are so effective. i’m no rhetorician. all i know is that well-deployed anaphora makes a reader want to throw their panties on stage. my intro to rhetorical devices was the wonderful book the elements of eloquence by mark forsyth, a surprisingly fun read! hopefully that will open some doors for you the way it did for me. 

the downside to this is that once you know rhetorical devices, it’s like learning how the sausage is made. on one hand, as a writer, you’ll have a lot stronger grasp of style, but as a reader good prose loses some of its magic.  

pacing it out

many writers, myself included, rely on the tried and true “he bit the inside of his cheek” or other some such random action to help pace out dialogue. one time my thesis advisor sat me down and said “you’ve got to take all of those out.”

“all of them?” i said.

“all of them,” she said.

i thought, but that will weaken the text! it didn’t. once i cut what i came to call cheek-biter sentences i never went back. and now when i edit for other people i’m like, look i know where you’re coming from but just cut all these out and see how the scene stands. if it doesn’t feel right you can put some back in. a lot of times when you’re drafting you put those in the way some people say “um.” they’re just sentences you jot while you’re thinking of what the other character says, so from a writing perspective it seems like you’re pacing, but readers don’t read it that way. they just want to get to the next line of dialogue.

but sometimes you really do need to pace out a scene and i think there are other ways to do that that don’t rely on banal physical movements, such as:

interiority: a sentence or paragraph of relevant cognition, bonus points if you weave in background context. good interiority defines the voice of your writing.

observations: i know i just said description is overrated but idk sometimes you just need a character to note the back and forth clacking of one of those desk ball toy things.

character texture: maybe your character notes something about the person they’re talking to. a wilted pocket square. a mole that looks like it needs looked at by a dermatologist. a scar on their forehead. some detail that deepens or complicates our understanding of a character.

narratorial consciousness and access

this one is less a cheat and more a problematic opinion i have that doesn’t win me any popularity in writing circles.

i believe that if you’re writing in first person or close third or any narration which is dedicated to the mind of one character, you are only ever obligated to convey the experience of that character’s consciousness. and nothing else.

by that i mean, if your point of view character is unobservant? then they’re not going to even notice the flight attendant is missing one of their canine teeth. if your pov character is focused and obsessive, they’re going to think lavish, detailed paragraphs about that which they’re obsessed with and have no acknowledgement of the rest of the world. if your pov character has no understanding of time, does your story even need to be linear?

defining the scope of a narrator’s cognition early on can give you parameters in which to work. even if you don’t consciously do this, you still do it. if you write in third person limited present tense without really thinking about it, that’s your scope. i’m just pointing out you can choose to do it differently. you get to define your narrator. 

whenever we talk about narration we also talk about information access and the order of information being revealed/conveyed. writing must always be in order; even if you’re writing multiple concurring things, it still has to be rendered on the page in order one after the next, because the human mind can’t read two sentences over top of one another. 

if we’re restricted to the mind of a character, that means we’re also restricted by their knowledge and experiences, and this can be used to your benefit. i don’t want to take too much space for this but i do talk more about the relationship between narration and reality here.

in short, you the writer get to choose 

what the reader knows,

in what order they know it, and

its relationship to the presumed real events of the story, which develops the (un)reliability of your narrator

okay going to cut this off now before i go on more rants about narrative scope. i hope you found this helpful and go on to put some of these nasty lifehacks in your own writing!!

[tagalongifyoudare]

Hey there :) I just love your thoughts and observations about all the little (and big) things in YR, and that ep4 flashback scene in your (amazing!) fic has got me thinking about something again. So I'd like to pick your brains if that's ok... :)

I've never really read about it that much and it might not be important, but to me it's kind of meaningful... That when Wille & Simon lie down and Wille is spooning Simon, Wille is actually very clearly getting aroused. I'd never really picked up on that before (although I mean it's pretty much to be expected, given the little sounds Simon's making and how he's clearly enjoying himself and also, well, just being Simon really), but I recently read this comment about it, and since then I can't really unsee it. The clue being that once Simon is asking Wille if he remembers what he said, Wille gets up and frantically starts pulling his blanket over his lap. I kind of used to overlook this previously, assuming that maybe he's shuffling around trying to get up or looking for his shirt or whatever--but no, he's clearly just covering his crotch. And judging from that millisecond glance we see Simon giving him, following by that tiny smirk, I kind of feel like Simon caught on to him as well. Wdyt?

I think it's kind of cute and, frankly, relatable, but what actually gets me here is that I feel their following interaction is kind of running on two tracks: Simon saying "Wille, it's okay" with that look he gives him kinda refers to two things now, and it definitely explains why Wille is blushing THAT hard in that moment… Also, when Wille moves on top of Simon after Simon has said he likes him too, the first thin he does actually is pushing the blanket away, in this super determined and forceful movement. To me, that's kind of beautiful and poetic--with a split-second decision, he gets that there's no need to hide himself (or his feelings) in front of Simon anymore, and there's that really determined + unapologetic version of him coming out at that moment (the one I'm hoping we get to see more of in S2).

Haha, boy that's a really long paragraph just thinking about a (fictional!) teenage boy's bodily function, gahh! But what actually fascinates me here is the double meaning aspect, the two layers this interaction is kind of happening on (at least in my mind)--if that makes any sense? I'd love to hear your opinion on it :) Is that all just in my head, or do you see it too, and does it change something about your perception of the scene / their interaction at all? I personally think since every tiny little detail in YR appears to be there for a reason, there must have been a decision amongst Rojda, Sara, and the actors at least about including that...

OH MY GOD!!!!!

First of all, this is beautiful. I am delighted that my obsession with YR is bringing you joy!

Secondly, I am so glad you are liking my fic; it started out as like a 3 chapter scene I couldn't get out of my head. It is now over 90,000 words and still growing 😂 (I may have added to one of the scenes based on this ask!)

Thirdly, thank you so much for the ask! The depth and thought in this question brings so much excitement to my heart. Also I had to rewatch this scene to properly answer, which always warrants a thank you! Onwards to the answer!!

This got away from me by a lot, so enjoy a lot of my unhinged ramblings below!

One of my absolute favorite things about YR (yeah, yeah, I know, I say that about every part of it 🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️) is that I honestly don't think there is anything in it that is unimportant; I think that every detail, every aspect is very meaningful, and very intentional.

As they lay down, Wille is already studying Simon. Wille holds his body almost cautiously as he allows Simon to settle comfortably. Wille seems sure of his desires, but still cautious. As they are lying down, Simon seems more visibly unsure; just allowing Wille to move him. He wants this, but is still unsure of what Wille is wanting or thinking. Simon looks surprised and delighted when Wille places his arm underneath his head; I think Simon was just planning to just lay down on the bed. Simon immediately grabs Willes hand, and starts playing with it. Simons breath becomes slightly quicker when Wille plays with his hand too. Simon is being just as effected as Wille.

Willes eyes never leave his face as Simon is nestled within his arms. Wille is just making sure this is okay, that Simon wants this too. (Side note-I think Wille has a hard time trusting people's intentions when it comes to being around him; another thing about the "it's okay" that makes the double meaning such perfection). You can hear Willes breath catch just slightly as Simons hands begin stroking his other hand, and up his arm. Simon wants this too. Wille just keeps studying him.

The real changing point for me is when Simon kind of twines their fingers together. It is such a tender caress; you can hear both of their breathing change. It feels so intimate, so loving. They had to feel each others breathing change in that moment. This is when Wille begins to shift his body around minutely. I think this is when he starts to actually think about their positions, and that if he gets aroused; Simon will know. We can see Willes face heating up just slightly.

Then the camera pans back, and we can see Willes breathing speed up, just slightly. Simon is studying their entwined hands; he can feel Willes arousal, and he wants Wille too. For Simon it is complicated though, because of the drugs/alcohol and because of everything with Micke. I think that Simon asked BECAUSE he felt Wille getting aroused. Before anything happens, Simon has to know if Wille remembers, if Wille meant what he said, if Wille will admit to it in the sober light of day.

And so Simon asks, and they both panic.

I think Simons initial thought is panic that he misread the situation, as he has done before (the music room scenes to name just a few....it's really complicated....you get it). His second thought is of feeling Wille aroused, and so he smirks. Simon always seems so delighted and proud when he can effect Wille.

You are so right about the blankets and the double meaning it adds to the interaction; I am absolutely OBSESSED with this new detail. The amount of times I have watched that scene, and never picked up on it is why I love YR so so much. I always just assumed it was Wille being nervous and awkward and panicking. NOPE, he is straight up covering his lap; and Simon definitely clocks it. This gives so much additional beauty and care and meaning to Simon reassuring Wille.

On one level Simon is reassuring Wille that it is okay to physically feel how he is feeling, it is okay to want Simon. Simon with his gentle words, and his little teasing smile, is trying to let Wille know he doesn't have to be embarrassed. Simon is trying to let Wille know that Simon is right there with him, that Simon feels the same. And yes, this 100% explains the level of Willes blush!

On another level other, Simon is telling Wille that it is okay to remember what he said, it is okay to have said it, it is okay to feel it. I think that this is so important. Wille has spent to much time fighting against his feelings for Simon; he needed to be told that how he is feeling is valid, is normal, is okay. (Sad side note-Simon is also the only person to tell Wille that they did nothing wrong after the video is leaked 😥)

I love the determination with which he climbs on top of Simon. The way you said it sums it beautifully. "To me, that's kind of beautiful and poetic--with a split-second decision, he gets that there's no need to hide himself (or his feelings) in front of Simon anymore." The fully trust each other in this moment; you can see it in how Simons body follows Wille as he moves, in the way they they look at each other, in the way they touch each other, in the speed with which they lose their clothes.

Another thing I think is so beautiful about this scene is their lack of doubt. After Wille moves the blanket, and climbs on top of Simon; all hesitation is gone from both of them. Neither of them question, or faulter, or hesitate; they just enjoy each other. So often in queer media, the characters first times (especially with someone like Wille who may not have really thought about boys before) are portrayed as uncomfortable, and often layered with doubt and hesitation. YR portrays it as awkward (because it absolutely would be) but without hesitation. They both feel so comfortable and safe and free with each other; it is just so breathtakingly soft and perfect.

This got well and truly away from me. Thank you very much for this ask! It gave me so much to think about, and an added perspective on this scene. I am always so amazed, and excited that this community is always finding and sharing new details. It feels like I got something new, even though it might just be one shot in a scene I have seen a hundred times; it makes me just as excited as the first time I saw it. Thank you for that!! I hope you enjoyed my very long answer 🤦🏽‍♀️ and that it at least included something you were hoping for! 🎶🫀👑