#also i have to say just you know. generally. ive worked full-time while living with my parents

[feketeribizli]

okay wait marci questions. how does he feel about media stuff? press, sponsored posts, the obligatory slash forced social media goofing etc. actually what's his social media presence like in general. also does he have pets..... did he grow up idolising anyone currently on the grid? how does he feel about racing his childhood heroes if yes? also, what's his favourite colour? capping it here but i want it known that he has eaten my brain 👍

hiii thank youuuu absolute bangers from you as always mwuah mwuah 😁🫶

nearly wrote a thousand words LMAO im putting a readmore somewhere to save yall... thank you for your time everyone 🫡

with all the live cockslip talk i thought itd be fun to delve into his social media presence for real... team and personal brand posting he doesnt mind per say, he got that goober in him that doesnt take oneself too seriously so hopping on silly trends hes almost looking forward to it. aston socials esp their tiktok is like my fave thing in the world lol id love to see him recreate the adam security & gf trend with padre

marci mostly uses instagram and its a mess... i barely follow any drivers but ive noticed they almost always got a certain aesthetic they try to keep up and well. marci dgaf. theyd try to put some color grading filter on the first photo in his dumps so at least theres some harmony to his page but its atrocious

he obviously has an official account on every other site but its usually for stuff his management posts on there (and an empty tiktok profile where his reposts are public. surely nothing weird or suspicious to see)

back to press and shit... hes not a fan 🧍‍♂️ he prefers the scripted stuff and when he can have like three takes to say something cause when its just him and twenty cameras broadcasting live... he still gets nervous and then the accent slips in and he stumbles his speeches and words things in a way people could twist what he said around easily (moment of silence and empathy for little lando norris). hes a small scale driver so the world doesnt hang on every word he says but yknow how it is

oh now im yapping like crazyyy... this part could get a whole new post but its kinda media related and ive been thinking and wanna talk about it a bit... if youve read this far kisses xx 😘

but yeah since im inserting marci into the canon events of real life theres bound to be loud media frenzy around his arrival especially since its aston. and in lances place (gotta work more on this but i was thinking lance has a kinda bad crash somewhere in the beginning of the 2024 season and my guy gets summoned out of thin air colapinto style to fill his place in until recovery but out of nowhere lance is like id like to temporarily step back lol 😋✌️ and the world explodes and marc is full time employed now)

and like idk how the hungarian public would react to a hun on the grid after twenty years (hes faggy so id care. otherwise idgaf about hungarian athletes for the most part) but that combined with the guy the world seems to hate a lot finally stepping down (NOT ME LANCE I LOVE YOU this is me trying to help this is me putting you in good situations) the commotion would be a major event with marcis name in the tabloids for a bit

all im trying to say is that his f1 entry would probably be very overwhelming and hes this shy guy no one has ever heard about before blabbering at stupid fucking press questions while glued to fernandos side. who is he whats his deal

ok lets put a hold on media for now 🧍‍♂️ as for pets... an old bernese back at home :-) marci kind of grew up with her (as much as he was at home. or the country even)... management posting ten-year-old marci at his first karting event with the puppy in his hands and then twenty-year-old marci after his first grand prix facetiming his family in the aston garages with the dog on the phone too... ack

about idols... his big thing is michael schumacher i know that for sure. marc generally looks up to everyone and has immense respect for most drivers. the more i think about it the more im like maybe bro got a thing for psychosexual warfare kinda drivers (schumi, vettel, alonso...) like yayyy to on and off track terrorism when its not aimed at me 😁

confession i kind of made him to deal with my conflicting feelings about aston martin as a whole lol and well. anyway he still shivers hot and bothered sometimes when fernando is around. gets a bit self conscious about it too but nothing that taking it up in the ass couldnt fix

fave color is greeeeen 😁 as i said match made in heaven with aston. team merch is glued to his body

WHEWH what an essay and i dont even know if im making sense lol ! marci is taking shape and becoming rock solid in my head im very happy about it 😋🫶 shoutout again to everyone intrigued i love cooking up the guy im having sooo much fun ‼️💥❣️

[bmpmp3]

the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)

[kohakhearts]

cons of going to a “good schoolTM”: insane workload, unbearable classmates, next to no support when you have any kind of extenuating circumstances Including literal hospitalization, etc

pros of going to a “good schoolTM”: the 9-5 lifestyle is genuinely a major improvement

[valeriianz]

For the fic writer asks:

4. Obviously you did research for BitB. I'd love you to ramble about it if you like I'm sure you've got STORIES

5. Did you outline it?

7. How'd you decide it would be Hob's pov?

25-27 I'd love to know a/some favorite lines, details, and any lore you might want to share

omg TJ what wonderful questions! thank you!! this is going to get LONG!

4: Rambling about research!

do you wanna see a screen shot of my bookmarks under my "band au" folder?

man, and that's only what could fit on the screen.

there is... SO MUCH i chose to ignore for this fic. ideas that i had to drop, lines or extra details about the other band members equipment. more logistics, what Lucienne actually does, what Mervyn has to put up with as the new touring stage manager... i realized very early on that i couldn't possibly cram all this (super cool and eye opening) information into the fic and still keep reader's interest and, most importantly, to not stray away from the fact that this is a dreamling fic. whenever i felt myself getting carried away with a side character or job or even social media numbers, gossip, outside POVs, i had to reign myself in and get back on track. there will be time for exploring everything i missed in side stories after BitB is finished. i just hope i still have the energy to write it all.

once, i was so deep into research that after publishing chapter 2, i went into work and when my chef asked what "GA" meant on my prep list, i answered with full confidence, "general admission."

(it means "get ahead.")

the worst part of this entire writing process is im still learning new shit. i havent rewatched or read a lot of what i've saved because, to be very honest, i was feeling a little burnt out. it's why we're kinda full steam dreamling now. it's why ive been glossing over a lot of technical stuff and being vague about conversations amongst the crew/not including it at all. i don't prefer ignoring my research, but at the end of the day i want to still enjoy writing this fic and finish it. even if i can't be as descriptive and detailed and nuanced as i used to be.

5: Did you outline the fic?

(also asked by @hardly-an-escape!)

i wouldn't call what i have a proper "outline," it's more like a 20k word document filled to the brim with notes that i skim at least a dozen times while i'm writing a new chapter (being in my brain is literally hell). i live multichapter life very dangerously. i copy and paste lines or sections (always scattered, never together! augh!) that are meant to go together and plop them in a new document titled "band au ch.#" and then i structure the chapter around what i want to happen.

but to answer this question in the plainest of terms: yeah. i know exactly what's going to happen up until the very end. even if its all in my head and the only concrete shit that's written down are beats/plot points. i'll figure out the rest later!

7: How'd you decide it would be Hob's POV?

i actually never even considered writing it from Dream's POV. this was my first fic in the fandom (which is so nuts to think about lol) and writing in Dream's POV sounded so scary lol. i also just thought Hob's would be easier because i have worked a few backstage shows, back in my college years. i figured eh, i can make this work. and i loved exploring how weird and mysterious musicians can be, from a normie's POV. making Hob a fan first and having him worry about developing a parasocial relationship... it was fun to explore.

25: Share your favorite line

oh god, i have so many haha.

“What are you thinking about?” starting in ch.2 and onward lmao

“It’s–” Dream laughs quietly, bitterly. “I don’t like change.” He says each word with emphasis, eyes trailing down to fixate somewhere past Hob. “And I still hold onto the things I can control, like my instruments–” his eyes swing up to regard Hob apologetically. “Or my clothes or my–” he brings a hand up and wiggles his fingers around his head. “My hair.” ch.4

"His majesty is pleased." ch.5

“You are obsessive,” he states, slow and cool and with a quiet smile cracking through his composure. “Just like me.” ch.7

“You look good.” Hob has to lean in to say so, unwilling to raise his voice amongst the roar of the fans. ch.11

“Del looks like porcelain, but she’s actually made of steel.” Desire swirls the contents of their glass before pushing their shoulders back with a deep breath. “She's tougher than all of us.” ch.11

“Everything. I want…” his fingers tighten in Hob’s hair, pulling him closer, speaking against his lips. “…Everything.” ch.14

26: Share your favorite detail

how intentionally coy Dream behaves. i love keeping him a mystery and deciding when and how much to allow his intentions to peek through has been so fun lol.

Despair is in fact covered in tattoos and piercings! i say this because i feel like sometimes i forget lmao. (but also her and Hob don't interact much so. my bad haha).

Delirium's constant explosion of color in the way she dresses <3

Hob's dedication to his job, Dream, and the people he cares about the most. i don't care if people think i'm making him too soft and good, im gonna project on that man and make him a sweet, sweet simp lmao

and ah, this doesn't matter anymore, and i kinda regret doing it but. i originally had Dream's favorite bass all black but the pickguard was white. so it actually looked like Jessamy. not gonna lie when @designtheendless drew it all black i decided i liked it better that way. and truly i do. that's when i went back to ch.1 and changed it haha. to actually see the guitar with Dream, all done up sparkling black and purple flecks... gosh it's just so him. but then i got up to the reveal that the guitar's name was Jessamy and i was like, "oh, right." lmao. no one seems to care so i'll leave it be.

27: Share a piece of lore you made up for the story

i have a lot lmao. and this post is already so long... im hoping i can get to some if not all of it in side fics in the future. but for now, here's some that's more like headcanons but:

Dream hates flying. he can full on go into panic attacks on the plane if he allows himself to get into his own head.

this was mentioned briefly in ch.4, while Dream was discussing the formation of the band, but Despair was in another band before joining Endless. she is the only character in the fic who gets to keep her English roots (lol sorry) and is the oldest in the band (30).

all of the band members ages: Dream, Desire, and Death are all 28 and Delirium is 22.

Dream can experience subdrop after going too hard during a performance.

Dream paints his own nails, it's very therapeutic.

as an exercise, i explored my own headcanons for Dream in this verse in a word doc, and one thing i will share from it that you might find interesting: If I were to ever give Dream a theological values, I would describe him as a satanist. He is a physical and pragmatic person, nonconforming, and although he is introverted, he enjoys being a part of a community (he loves his band).

also found this in my notes: How Desire and Dream got along was Death making them fight it out. Hob raises an eyebrow “like in a brawl?” He couldn't imagine Desire throwing hands. “No, in a pillow fight that escalated in hair pulling and verbal taunts.”

fic writer asks

[meat-wentz]

some other things i have learned this year:

legitimately yeah if you want someone in your life just reach out to them. it’s scary yeah but often the reason it’s scary is just a fear of rejection and the worst that can happen is someone saying no i don’t want to be in your life and that’s okay you’ll just find a way forward, but more often than not that person is probably glad you reached out and happy to disrupt the routine of their life to fold you into it, the hurt of rejection does not outweigh the happiness of acceptance so always know it’s better to try than to not.

if you’re someone that deals with physical discomfort, find ways to incorporate comfort into your life, rather than resolving to live with that discomfort. i know there are many things that can’t be resolved, but there are things that can, and finding those things and fixing them is soooo helpful for just finding a way to live more peacefully with yourself. i spoke in my previous list post that my skin gets rather irritated and upset and makes my life just generally worse when im not attentive to it, so finding a nice gentle routine to calm it and switching out the fit and fabric of my clothes, both genuinely helped me just live in my skin more peacefully. same with my digestion, like im lactose intolerant and was like well why do i feel so bloated/bad/ill all the time, and ive now actually committed to cutting dairy from my day-to-day and have found foods that make my gut happy while not sacrificing on taste or fullness. i now eat way more and am happy to do so rather than procrastinating eating bc it made me so physically miserable to do.

practice makes perfect but perfection isn’t the end goal. i decided to practice my penmanship this year, because i’ve been unhappy with my writing for a long time and well it’s still not perfect but it’s so fun even with the hand cramps and the ink stains and it does aid in me writing more and enjoying the practice of it, slowing down, taking my time, and being proud of what ive done. it’s also a mutable practice, as most practices are, you find your style, you try out new things, you look for real world examples, you study how others do it, it changes, and so do you, there isn’t a final product, you just keep doing it because you found the way it made you happy and interested and diligent.

when you’re too tired to hang out in person, talk on the phone. i have phone calls with a couple of friends multiple times a week, just to talk about our days, what’s going on in our lives, after work im often too tired to go out, but i do have the energy to call up a friend and yap for awhile. it’s just a nice way to save up your energy when you need to while also tending to your relationships, having a laugh, and feeling warm and fuzzy when you hang up. besides that, it gets you off of that damn screen and the doom scroll waiting to happen.

accept the scary thing, welcome it, it’s just nerves. i’ve passed up on so many opportunities bc i was scared, and i regret doing so, this year was a really big year of embracing the scary thing and my life being better for it. i’d rather accept loss having at least tried than accept loss as an inevitability without even having tried. there is still time.

do more things alone. dont wait to see that movie bc you can’t find a friend to go with you, just see the movie. you’re in the dark, nobody cares, and you’ll be glad to have done it. go eat alone, nobody cares, you’ll be well fed and happy you went. learn to be with yourself for a little bit, doing a thing you want to do, rather than waiting for other people to make it valid or make you feel not alone, being alone is good sometimes, and learning to be better at it is a good skill.

on the other hand, do things you don’t want to do with someone else!! a friend and i often get together on the weekends and just run errands and do chores together, it makes the thing fun and passes the time well and warmly, go do your shopping with each other or go to the pharmacy, or run to the gas station or whatever the fuck you have to do!!!

say when you need help. people will be there to help you. no matter how scared or humiliated or sad or alone you may feel, when you ask for help, someone who loves you will be there to help you.

tell people what you like about them. i don’t think they hear it enough.

[sagemoderocklee]

may i pls ask about 'Plucked Peony Petals' if it hasn't already been done? alternatively if you have any other fics that you are desperate to talk about i would LOVE to know <3

ok i am SO sorry i forgot to reply to this. i meant to do it last night, but god i was EXHAUSTED and had stuff to deal with, and today has just been busy but i am finally here to answer about P3 which is a fic I am SO excited about and am desperate to start writing.

i came up with it in 2022 (alongside Final Bow) when i was planning for the last horror event, but it was just not gonna be something i could fit in for that year so i didnt start it, but i DO have a fully plotted summary for the fic which like is very spoilery but in general this fic will need some pretty spoiler-y trigger warnings anyways

the idea is based around the Botan Dōrō which is a Japanase ghost story about "sex with the dead and the consequences of loving a ghost". oh! and i already have the banner for this fic made

more under the cut (trigger warning for what's hopefully now obviously a story about sex with ghosts)

anyways if you don't wanna read the full wikipedia article (which i think is super interesting and worth reading), there are two versions of the story listed and one surrounds the Obon festival which is a festival to honor the spirit of one's ancestors. i decided i wanted to write a modern AU about Lee meeting someone at this festival. here's the first part of the summary i wrote:

at the Obon festival, Rock Lee meets an attractive man. They spend the evening talking, and Lee is quite smitten but forgets to ask the man's name or how to stay in touch. The next night, he finds the man again, and this time remembers to get his name. However, Lee chickens out about asking for his phone number, but he does offer to walk Gaara home. Gaara says he lives too far, but would be happy to walk Lee home. At Lee's doorstep, Lee stalls going back inside. He likes Gaara quite a lot, and he hasn't dated anyone since Sakura. He's been lonely ever since his cousin and best friend, now married, moved back to her and Lee's hometown in China, where his father also lives. Deciding to do something rash and out of character, feeling almost possessed by desire, he invites Gaara inside and they spend a night together. Gaara wakes Lee in the middle of the night with a kiss as he leaves, claiming his siblings will worry if he doesn't come home. The last night of the festival, Gaara finds Lee and they spend the evening in one another's company, before going back to Lee's place for another night together... though this time it feels different. It's less lustful and more sensual, more intimate. Lee cannot help thinking he could easily fall in love with this man. Again, Gaara leaves before dawn, whispering his goodbyes to Lee and promising he'll see him again. But Lee doesn't see him again, and his heart breaks at the loss of what could have been.

again i have the entire fic plotted beginning to end, and if you read in full you can guess how this fic will go, but the things that can be said about love and death and desire and so on with this sort of story really intrigue me. it's definitely dark, but doesn't come across that way at first.

while Lee doesn't see Gaara again after the festival that year, he does see Gaara at the following year's festival.

the fic i have planned has some obvious departures from the original text and is going to take place over several years, but ultimately still follows the original tale as far as like ending on a tragic note.

anyways, ive been super excited for that fic and Final Bow, so imma talk about Final Bow too since you gave me that opening! XD

anyways FB is ALSO a horror fic, shocker. and like P3, i have the banner ready to go:

both of these fics were dreamed up when i was newly dealing with long covid and out of work, so i had TIME to throw together these banners even if i wasn't planning on working on the fics then.

now here is the summary which is far less spoiler-y (as i do not have the fic plotted beginning to end like P3):

Rock Lee is an actor staring in a new production of Yotsuya Kaidan, which has been newly adapted. It's a controversial adaptation, that's garnering a lot of talk. The kabuki play will draw crowds, no doubt, but before the play can go up accidents start happening. The cast, the production team, not a single person involved followed the tradition of going to the grave of Oiwa to ask her for permission, and some believe the changes to the play have offended her even more than not asking for permission. Lee is playing one of the leads, along with Kankuro, who's younger brother often shows up to rehearsals. Lee is quite taken with Gaara, but—despite being an actor—he is quite anxious when it comes to dating other men having only just come out of the closest recently. However, one day, one of the lights falls, nearly crushing Gaara. Lee saves him in the nick of time, but it's the start of a series of unfortunate events. Ino, who is playing Oiwa falls ill and her understudy, Hinata takes her place; Tenten, the stage manager is injured; things keep breaking, etc. As things escalate, a romance also blossoms between Gaara and Lee, but the ghost of Oiwa threatens to ruin everything—the play and all their lives. [5 acts + intermission=6chapters]

so this fic is based on a famous Japanese ghost story Yotsuya Kaidan. i've structured the fic to be the 6 chapters with 5 being the acts of the actual play and one of them being the intermission, but i dont have much plotted out beyond what you see above in the summary, so the intermission may get cut if i dont feel it fits.

anyways, i can never decide which one of these im more excited about writing since they scratch different horror itches for me, but i am VERY excited to write them eventually and thank you for asking about them!

[todayisyourturntolose]

Share pdude hcs??? 😈

ok soooo. idk if you mean one pdude in particular sooo imma do the basic ones! (p1,p2,p3,p4)

good lord it has been forever since ive been able to write down my hcs for these sillies, and i have a whole bunch so i'll put it under le cut :)

p1

-well versed in ASL, uses it in overwhelming situations

-sunglasses double as prescription lenses (i give this hc to basically all of the other dudes, but i think p1 would need glasses more than any of them)

-probably the smartest of the other dudes. essentially a polymath. if you ask him a question about almost anything, he'd probably give you a reasonable answer

-surprisingly good at drawing. does better with drawing portraits rather than full body. has a very scratchy and rough looking art style

-(technically canon bcuz of like, the war journal) writes in a journal (essentially a diary, but he'd rather die than call it that), mainly writes about his emotions and internal struggles, but sometimes writes about the other dudes and his experiences with them

-cannot go to sleep in silence. he's gotta have music on or some sort of background noise or else his mind starts to wander

p2

-physically can't stay in one place without moving. whether it be rocking in place, tapping his foot, or shifting his weight from one foot to the other, he's always making some sort of movement.

-actually pretty friendly to those around him. he just has a pretty short temper, getting easily agitated by things (or people) around him

-besides p1, probably the skinniest of all the dudes. mans is all bones compared to say p4 or p3

-champ is his emotional support animal. he's been through a lot, and champ is basically his only refresher from the hell he lives in

-strangely flexible...can slip through fairly small cracks and corners easily

-has a LOT of vocal stims. this mf meows whenever he sees a cat. he makes random noises to himself. he repeats things that he hears others say

p3

-got a surprisingly good amount of muscle on him. goes to the gym pretty often. definitely flexes whenever he gets the chance

-slight southern accent. very noticeable when he gets angry or when he talks fast. if you point it out to him, he'd probably get really embarrassed

-average r&b enjoyer. out of the blue, p1 once asked who luther vandross was, to which p3 gave an almost hour long lecture about the importance of r&b and why it's one of the best genres to date, why old r&b is miles better than new r&b, quizzing p1 on different artists, etc

-also an unironic country music enjoyer. he begs and pleads the other dudes to let him play just a little bit of johnny cash whenever he's offered the aux cord. maybe a bit of dolly parton. hell, probably some shania twain, if he's feeling bold.

-a fairly good singer. he's no freddie mercury, but to say he's horrible would be an overstatement. knows what songs are in his range, and which ones aren't. isn't really one to sing out loud in front of a lot of people, though. (one time, he sang to p1 in an attempt to calm him down during one of his moments. it worked, surprisingly :0)

p4

-one of the happiest dudes. at this point in his life, he's not nearly as violent as the others (he still has his moments, of course, but he's not one to just spontaneously go ham) and just sorta accepts things as they are

-a genre GOD. this man listens to pretty much everything. his favorite genres are funk, nu-metal (or metal in general), pop, and r&b (he and p3 bond over their fav artists)

-while champ is basically an emotional support animal to p2, to p4, champ is more of a service dog. he's getting older, which means he isn't able to do things as easily as he used to, so champ is there to fetch things for him and in general, just help him with daily tasks

-very confident with who he is. he isn't embarrassed by the things he does. he takes pride in being different.

-doesn't give himself labels when it comes to sexuality or gender. it's not that he's against it, he just prefers the idea of being unlabeled. (though, i personally hc him as being pansexual and transmasc. you go grandpa.)

-DAD BOD. a fair bita muscle, though. he's pretty strong compared to the other dudes.

-has an array of random talents. one day he'll just start juggling randomly and be like "oh, this? yeah, i picked it up a few years ago. nothing to write home about, to be honest."

--

aaaaand that's all! sorry if it's a lot, i just rlly have a lot to say abt these goobers (and even more to say abt the dudes i didn't include!)

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

hiii so i put in a request for the matching thing but you didn’t respond to it so im guessing i didn’t put enough info which i completey understand!!! very sorry about that, i hope ur still doing these requests if not i deeply apologize. anyway pls take ur time so so sorry!!

i’d also like to be matched with someone in pjo pls!

personal info ? 15 yrs old, i’m a girl, she/her(truly idc), bisexual, half mexican (white dad…)

physical: i have medium length wavy brown hair with grown out bangs, im 5’4 average weight, pretty tan, brown eyes, silver circle glasses, i wear smudgy eyeliner w/mascara, i either wear tank tops with big pants or big t shirt with shorts

personality: i’m honestly very weird with the people im close with, like very. i have brainrot humor so im always saying weird ass shit acting like it’s normal. i’m also very sarcastic and if im not very close with someone i give them like 0 reaction i guess? idk ppl tell me im nonchalant but that sounds rlly corny 😬 anyway im very embarrassing in public when im with my friends and they hate it but i think its funny idc!! im also pretty moody but im just a teenage girl!!!!!!! i dont get mad that easily tho like i can take a joke i just get ANNOYED easily but then ill be fine in a few minutes. also ppl tell me im very funny so 😇 meat riding myself YES IM A NO SABO KID I AM TRYING TO LEARN SOANISH.

hobbies/intrests: love love love listening to music, love tv girl, tyler, mitski, arctic monkeys, the smiths, depeche mode, the cure, lana, tame impala, beabadoobee and so many other generes and artists but i only know like 2 songs 😬

i also had a severe fnaf phase, avatar the last airbender, spiderverse, saiki, and obvi percy jackson

currently OBSESSED with slushy noobz they are my whole personality they are how i act. along with avascreams on tiktok ive literally had 6 different ppl tell me “you know that one girl on tiktok?? you act just like her” IM TRILY NOT EVEN TRYING TO ACT LIKE HER I SWEAR. also love sam and colby i full heartedly believe in ghosts just watch ima become a ghost hunter 😊😊

as of right now my hobbies are playing stardew valley and never getting my homework done, i also love to draw but im not very good at it. i also love painting but i haven’t done it in a while bc of school :(( i take piano lessons as well but again, not very good even after 5 years. i rlly like reading too but again bc of school i haven’t read as much lately, love playing with my pets (dog and cat) they’re so cute i love animals so so much i want more but yknow im busy, ive also gotten into working out bc im tryna lose this face fat🫥

likes: love carnival rides!!!! they’re so fun i love the fair SO MUCH. beautiful atmosphere truly. the zipper is so fun don’t let anyone lie to you. nature, i love going on walks in the woods but i can’t bc i don’t live near any😔 food i love food, korean, mexican, american, japanese, i love it all. english class! teacher is so sweet i love her and its also easy and boring so

dislikes: six flags. i hate roller coasters. annoying ppl like bruh stfu up OH MY GOD. when my mom asks me about college, leave me alone pls!

okay i truly don’t know what else to put i hope this was enough 😓😓

-faith 👐

Hey Faith, I am so so sorry that this took incredibly long to complete. I’ve been insanely busy these few months and lots of personal stuff going on so I really hope that this does it justice! And also also don’t be sorry I’m really sorry that this took so long

Your PJO ship: Leo Valdez 🔥🔥🔥 (man I’m jealous)

Explanation: honestly the best way I can explain this is that you’re crazy totally matches his crazy. Your freak matches his freak. is somebody gonna match my freak? Yes, someone will match your freak and that person is Leo. Starting off with your physical appearance, I think that he would be very attracted to you and I think you give a vague match of his mom like I feel like you look like his mom a little little bit, which is what kind of drew him to you in the first place I feel like he probably saw you in a crowd and his jaw dropped. He just thought that you were your clothing style. He also liked your eyeliner which he had you do on him whenever you guys got comfortable enough in the relationship he was like hey can I please have your make up routine done on me? He looked rlly hot but anyway- you guys are just so chaotic together with your personality like you match him so well I feel like Leo in order to make a relationship work with him. He needs to have someone that’s either vastly different than him or the same because I mean, I just see you guys as Deadpool and Vanessa, you guys so chaotic in public you guys would do so much embarrassing shit together and social anxiety would be afraid of both of you combined, a deadly duo. Whenever you were first getting to know each other, and you were more relaxed and chill around him less if you’re crazy with showing, that’s what kind of Drew him like he thought that your dynamic could be that you would kind of be more opposites, but then he slowly realize that you were just as fucking goofy and silly as him, and he would have a blast with you as you guys got further on into your even like just friendship that eventually turn into romance. You guys always have the funniest times together like I’m not joking. You guys would be the couple to go out with if you wanted a good time because you guys just yeah you’re chaotic and glorious and also really freaking funny and I mean yeah. (I would also like to let you know to do a deeper dive into your personality. I did research some of the people you mentioned that you were compared to and watched some of their videos and subjected myself to the painful amount of puns and batshit crazy, honestly I’m pretty impressed if people are comparing you) as for your hobbies, he would love playing Stardew Valley and I feel like he would romance. Sebastian don’t ask me why, but I just feel like he would. He would totally want Sebastian as I don’t know why OK I really don’t. I really don’t but anyway that’s just my personal theory. But he would love playing Stardew with you. He’s also a procrastinator when it comes to homework and work and taking things seriously in general so you guys would be quite the interesting duo and I feel like U2 would just end up making out during study date so if you want someone to study with? He’s probably not the best person. Also, I think that he would love your art and would be absolutely obsessed. If you ever did any artwork of him or just inspired by him like he would love that he would frame that shit he would brag to everyone about how good you are and same goes with piano he’s obsessed even if you think you weren’t very good after five years of playing he thinks you’re magnificent. It took everything in him to not compare you to Apollo because he knew that that would probably get you like blasted into the sky or something, but he just thinks anything that comes from you is good basically. That’s Leo Math.

You + Anything= Good.

He can never read very much because of his ADHD. I just feel like he would lose interest in books really easily unless they’re really exciting or exactly what he’s being into at this point, so I feel like he would get the being too busy to read. He also loves animals. He would absolutely snuggle all the pets in the world. I feel like he just loves animals. I feel like he especially loves dogs because they match his energy and he’s definitely like a golden retriever guy or maybe a Chihuahua guy one of them anyway dogs are very Leo core. Also, he thinks your chubby face is cute, and while he promotes working out for the healthiness of it, he thinks you have the wrong motivation if you want to get rid of that cute squeezable cheeks. (Multiple cheeks if ykwim) he also loves carnival rides and he’s a huge foodie so if you ever went out to him, you guys would end up eating more than your stomachs and belts can handle I mean yeah you guys would just be done if you ever went out to eat because he would order so much food and then I feel like because of his ADHD he’d be midway eating through another thing and then see other stand and be like babe. We gotta go there next. basically you guys would be extremely full. He also likes nature walks. I think that he kind of just likes the dirt of it because he’s definitely not afraid to get dirty and he loves just poking around nature I mean, I honestly that’s how I see him going on hikes like he’d pick up slugs, he do all kinds of like gross stuff. People normally wouldn’t do like I don’t know, letting a worm crawl on his arm or something.  anyway you guys totally match each other crazy and match each other’s freak yes just like the song, and I really ship it 💕💓💗💞💗💞

[liminalsp4ce]

« several  sightings  have  recently  been  reported  of  a  suspicious  individual  seen  around  greylock,  ma.  their  exact  whereabouts  are  yet  to  be  disclosed.  however,  after  conducting  thourough  analysis  of  local  records,  the  person  was  identified  as  casey  grendel  ―  a  twenty  -  nine  year  old  counselor  currently  working  at  greylock's  high  school.  grendel  has  no  history  of  prior  criminal  activity,  but  in  case  of  an  incident,  do  not  hesitate  to  refer  to  the  details  provided  below. »

I. BASICS

FULL NAME. casey grendel NICKNAMES. case AGE & DATE OF BIRTH. twenty - nine / january 10th, 1995 PLACE OF BIRTH. greylock, ma CURRENT RESIDENCE. greylock, ma OCCUPATION/TITLE. counselor @ greylock high school THE BIG THREE. capricorn ☼ pisces ☾ virgo ↑ GENDER. nonbinary PRONOUNS. they/them SEXUALITY. queer

II. APPEARANCE

FACECLAIM. jodie comer EYE COLOR. hazel HAIR COLOR. blonde (dyed) HEIGHT. 5′ 8″ (1.73 m) DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTIC(S). intense gaze radiating alertness, casual yet fasionable outfits, a compass tattoo on the right sleeve, absence of facial expressions at times due to repressed nature.

III. RELATIONSHIPS

PARENTS. thomas grendel, lillian grendel SIBLINGS. elora grendel (younger sister) CURRENT PARTNER(S). tba. PAST PARTNER(S). tba. ENTANGLEMENTS. tba.

IV. PERSONALITY

POSITIVE TRAITS. considerate, playful, disciplined, allocentric, generous NEGATIVE TRAITS. repressed, escapist, impatient, perfectionist, grim LOVE LANGUAGE. acts of service & words of affirmation ALIGNMENT. neutral good MBTI. INFJ

V. HISTORY

everything has a beginning and an end. your story began with a set of restrictions. rules & expectations high enough to overwhelm anyone let alone a young child. but you persevered. so much so, that no class was left unattended and no assignment was left ungraded. a perfect a-student. polished mannequin to be paraded inside the school grounds and around the entire town for all the nosy nancies to see. a 'future savior' your mother used to describe you to everybody else.      ʺ  casey  will  be  saving  lives.  just  wait  and  see.  ʺ they already had planned everything out for you even before you were born. your mother wanted you to become a doctor, you see. yet another title she would add to already full basket of responsibilities. what did it matter which career path you'd feel like choosing anyways, right? mothers do know what's best for their children, after all. but did she know? did your father? based on how scarce the memories you two share are, that seems unlikely, either. the two of them were a lost cause as parents from the very beginning. as for you ― you carried on with your 'duties' as long as you could. you allowed them to dictate your life: restrict the time outside with your friends, add more house chores on the list to 'be taken care of' while having to behave like a perfect child with no defects. along the way you learned to hide those 'defects', as your family liked to call them, as there was no use in bringing up any of your emotional turmoil to any of them. not only because they wouldn't care to hear of them, but because you weren't sure where to even start. so you didn't let any of it show.

all of the more severe negative emotions shoved far away into the dark depths of your mind, where all the exit signs seem to be intentionally removed. perhaps that's where your inner fear of emotional intimacy also lies. it's... quite difficult to say, actually. it's not like you yourself have reached this level of awareness of just how deep it all goes. meanwhile all of those inner emotions are abandoned to simply rot & build up in a wild storm, quietly threatening to burst at any correct push of the buttons.

during your senior year at greylock high school, it became apparent that your parents were planning to move out into the city as soon as you graduated, adamant to have you start med school once the family got a new place. you weren't aware of their need of a 'better life' elsewhere, but ultimately, knowing their constant discontent with everything around them, it did not surprise you one bit.

you did move to the city soon after your graduation, however things did not exactly go according to the plans of your parents. instead of going to med school, you chose a different university as you decided to pursue career in education & social work. it was the first time you went against your family's wishes since now you were an adult and felt the need to follow your own heart. and that you did. picking up a part-time job while you were at it and gradually distancing yourself from your parents who had no qualms about suddenly shifting their focus on your younger sister, probably seeing you as a failed project.

only when you had a masters degree in your hands did you return to greylock ― a town some made the effort to leave behind in search of bigger & better opportunities, one that others were hesitant to settle in. yet you did the opposite. there was always this looming sense of knowing that you'll be back someday. it was your home, after all. and despite having an outstanding reputation as a town on paper, there were plenty other teens in need of guidance, that you knew through other families in town & from rumors about underlying difficulties in some teenagers lives that unfortunately, spread like wildfire in a place like this. you were even more sure of staying after hearing about emily palmer's sudden disappearance. some unknown forces of humankind or otherwise were at play & you won't just sit there and ignore the signs of another upcoming tragedy if only you can help it.

VI. WANTED CONNECTIONS

CONFIDANT [0/1] ― a close friend of a family or from school back in the day. someone who knew things about casey no one else did. one that casey ended up opening up to and would keep firm ties to right until casey's graduation, after which they moved with their family to the city, thus straining their connection. there was less and less communication as time went by and neither had heard about the other for quite some time. now that casey's back in town, there is a possibility to rekindle their connection with some potential angst mixed in! (all details can be plotted!)

"THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY" / POTENTIAL SLOW BURN [0/1] ― a situationship which, unfortunately, did not work out at first. the two of them met at high school, one attracted the other like a magnet and thus, the pair seemed inseparable during the last couple of years in high school. similarly to the connection above, this dynamic came to a close when casey's love interest decided to be the first one to move away before the two of them properly established their connection (details & reasons can be discussed/utp!) thus leaving casey behind. six years later (current time) casey returned to greyloack and few months later, to their surprise, their past love also came back to the town. (again reasons behind this can be utp!). i imagine their reunion to be packed with tension and even angst to add some spice! the future of this connection can be discussed/plotted!

CLOSE FRIENDS [0/2] ― a couple of buddies casey would spend most of their free time with outside of their job. possibly met through common interests/hobbies during school times or after returning to greylock & ended up sticking around ever since! casey would be the one to often help them out & be there in times of need even if they hasn't opened up to them about their life/past troubles with family. these two would be the type to bring casey out of their shell & their house to hang out, have a drink & basically have a good time!

BAD INFLUENCE [0/1] ― someone who cannot help themselves & stay away from trouble. what's worse, they are in dire need of someone to mess with... and casey happens to be around in the worst of times. would love for this muse to remind casey of the freedom they used to have before leaving greylock & be able to do whatever the fuck they want.

HOOK-UPS [0/2] ― although casey isn't in the state of mind to be emotionally available, there were a couple of 'slip-up's' which manifested in the form of either one night stands or short-term friends with benefits! (details can be discussed!)

COLLEAGUES @ GREYLOCK HIGH SCHOOL [0/∞] ― teachers or other staff working at greylock high school! the nature of dynamics can be plotted!

PARENTS OF STUDENTS CASEY WORKS WITH [0/∞] ― if any of your muses happen to have children who are currently in high school & could use a counselor for whatever reason, that's where casey comes in! there is high potential to have some very spicey interactions, especially if dynamics within families aren't the best!

ACQUAINTANCES [0/∞] ― people casey met around the town or outside of it and those that now are staying in greylock! the circumstances behind their first meeting & history plus potential dynamics can all be discovered either through plotting or by throwing our muses straight into interactions!

MISC / UTP! ― space for any other platonic, neutral, romantic or antagonistic dynamics! let's brainstorm & come up with the storylines we always wished to explore but never had the chance to!

[f0point5]

Also when someone messes up they obviously get frustrated and that’s totally understandable but there are people (like Lando) that make it their whole personality and it’s just sooo sad actually because if they’d stop doing that they’d probably be more successful. Ive seen it with classmates as well. Everyone had a bad grades once in a while but there was this one guy that made it his whole personality and every single time he’d go on about how he was just a few points away from passing the exam bla bla bla. every. single. time. And with people like that it’s truly a pattern and everyone started seeing him as the guy that couldn’t get the grades he wanted no matter how hard he tried. Meanwhile I always thought that if he’d stop clowning himself in front of everyone he might be able to turn that narrative around by actually putting in the work. I’m not saying that these people don’t put in work and sure maybe some just aren’t made out to be winners but I personally believe that if you put yourself down all the time and dive into that ocean full of your own pity then of course you won’t succeed. Maybe I have that point of view because I had a very strict upbringing lol that’s why max is my favorite driver as well 😭 I just get him. His entire personality, behaviour and performance is that of a world champion.

To be fair, most people are not living for the narrative, or what other people think necessarily. I think with things like that, it’s normally people who tie their sense of worth to their achievements. So, it’s not just one mistake, it gets globalised and it becomes a statement on their general lack of talent/intelligence. I don’t think he makes it his personality so much as these relatively small mistakes reverberate into the foundation of his self belief and it takes him a while to compartmentalise them. We have to remember, the drivers get no time to decompress from quali. They get out of the car and they’re hauled in front of a camera. He probably hasn’t processed his own feelings before he’s got Karun Chandok in his face like “why do you suck today Lando?”.

And for me, that’s the thing about Lando - he doesn’t really believe he’s the best driver out there. I think he has a very fragile sense of his own talent, so any mistake or fault becomes yet another bit of confrontation bias in his head and another stick to beat himself with. And he knows people are watching him, judging him, so he feels like he has to get ahead of the things people will say about him, so he says them first. He tears himself down so extremely because if he owns the failure it proves there’s success in there somewhere.

The thing I like about Max’s attitude is Max doesn’t give a fuck what’s going on around him. He doesn’t look anywhere except his own performance, because he knows he doesn’t have to. His self belief is so unflappable that he knows if he does his best, it doesn’t matter what the other 19 do, he will be the best. He’s not racing anyone except the best version of himself. And that is a champion mentality. But it’s learned, and it’s earned.

[femmesandhoney]

no one in my family growing up would cook bc my dad and brothers refused to ever do it and my mom was the only one expected to but worked full time on top of looking after us kids and also hated it. She would try to get me to do it but never asked my older brothers so i refused out of spite. And so we all ate individually and lived off microwave meals and snacks.

As an adult i learnt to cook and love making things that are actually nutritious from scratch. I do get somewhat neurotic about not eating frozen meals/junk food but growing up on that has given me lifelong health issues. When people who grew up on homecooked meals for dinner every night call me snobby for avoiding overly processed food my eye starts twitching lmao.

I do wonder tho how many women have a weird relationship with cooking due to it being on one hand, a life skill everyone should have that has a huge impact on general health but on the other hand is something most girls were expected to do for their families and to be a *good wife* for future husbands, and so refusing to learn is almost a rebellion against that. Even now, i love cooking for myself but cooking for other people... nope cant do it :/. Especially not for a man, but ive had female roommates i was cooking for who would joke about me being their wife and start making demands about what i should make, get annoyed if i was too busy to cook, and expect me to cook for anyone they brought over. Its like any women who's doing the cooking is looked down on (even if the food itself is praised) and everyone forgets shes doing them a favor, while men who cook are fawned over.

And i kinda hate how, especially on tumblr cooking for someone is considered an act of love. On one hand i agree, cooking for someone *can* be loving and intimate, but on the other its just like... its almost exclusively women who are expected to cook routinely and its not some fun, loving activity, it's an exhausting chore and if she doesn't do it no one else will.

Sorry for the long rant on cooking, but i cant talk about these things in my real life without everyone thinking im being crazy and over thinking things lol.

"When people who grew up on homecooked meals for dinner every night call me snobby for avoiding overly processed food my eye starts twitching lmao" no i understand this completely anon! as my mom was a single mom, most of the meals i had when i was really little were frozen or microwaveable, it wasn't until i was older my mom started cooking more or at least buying hot meals/ready made fresh food from the grocery store that we were actually eating less processed food for once. my grandma, though, was an amazing cook, so i know my mom grew up with good food every day, that was just expected of moms back then too like you said. so whenever i cook, i love love love just cooking stuff from scratch as much as possible.

and while i get what you're saying overall, and you're right lots of women don't learn to cook as a fuck you to gender roles, i was thinking of my friend and her sister and mom. there's no man in that household lol, so there's not any form of "you should cook while your father/brother sits around". i think probably her mom rebelled against it as a kid and never learned and just never taught her kids then, which is sad af.

i'm sorry your roommates are expecting shit from you though. that's very unfair on you. and i think cooking definitely is a form of love, but it's more actually romantic and sweet when both partners know how to cook and can reciprocate all that effort in an equal way. i think like chef couples are sweet af because you can see both of them equally can balance those acts and that when they cook together there's no stress because you know the other knows what they're doing. people who are like "let's cook/bake" as a fun date idea with their partner but only one knows what they're doing is not fun lmao. you're just micromanaging the other the entire time. sooo romantic and loving.

[slayfk]

scroll to the bottom for resources and donation links. the table of contents/order of discussion in this post is my commentary > what you can do > resources (general > boone) > donation links.

since this has gotten some traction and many people seem to have relatives here i will go on to say. i attend appalachian state university and their response to this hurricane has been the worst behavior i’ve seen, and ive watched them rename our pride parade “spring fest” and get rid of our art expression tunnels by painting over all of it and filling them with cameras (one is back now). they did not allow anyone to evacuate in time by refusing to cancel classes before the hurricane hit. even then they didn’t even cancel our classes—they put them online AFTER 12PM on thursday, giving no one time to prepare for what was next. we only just found out YESTERDAY we don’t have school this week. we received radio silence aside from automatic emergency alerts all throughout the hurricane happening. it’s scary. appalachian state doesn’t care about its students.

how do i know this? last semester, wey hall, the art hall, was falling apart around its students and app didn’t care. my roommate was one of them. they made students work in classrooms of chipping lead paint and leaky, collapsing ceilings—they had students forced to work in a building without working water or proper ventilation that was an active construction zone just because they didn’t want to move the kilns and woodshop equipment. a concrete slab fell through the ceiling of an active classroom full of students and they DENIED IT EVER HAPPENED. will they care about the classroom damage from helene? will they care that their students are homeless and can’t find new homes due to the ongoing housing crisis they created by over-admitting students, over doubling the town’s population? how could they, when they allowed art students to work in potentially life threatening conditions while refusing to acknowledge their protests for weeks?

appalachian state university is one of the only places in boone right now with wifi. they have their own water and power separate from the rest of the town. they’ve opened up our convocation center/basketball stadium to the red cross and are providing meals at the dining halls, but they have not acknowledged the homelessness of so many people, they have not given us any idea of what is going to happen or what they’re going to do, or why they didn’t do more to prepare for this. we just don’t have school until friday and that’s all we know. boone is a ghost town and so many students are homeless . so many professors are trapped in their homes as they live further up the mountains and they can’t get out. it’s hell here and they didn’t even cancel our football game on friday until halfway through the day as the town was actively being destroyed by floodwaters. it’s bullshit and it’s insanity. our classrooms are full of water and we don’t know what’s going to happen.

it is likely that appalachian state couldn’t give us a response because they had to wait for the unc school system to decide what to do. the unc school system fucking hates appalachian state and only uses us for our mediocre football team and to increasingly stuff boone full of students despite there being no more room for them in our town. appalachian state has let thousands of people down despite having the town of boone by the balls and bullying our town into doing its will.

if you know someone in boone and are worried about them, let me know. i know the status of most places in the main town and i can reach out to try to figure out what i don’t as many of my friends remain in town. i am also a part of every single boone/appalachia community facebook group i possibly can be so that i can keep an eye on facebook posts regarding this.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

- if you are in boone or similar areas and have the ability to leave (roads are clear, you have a place to stay) LEAVE. towns are running on fumes and they need to preserve all they can for those who can’t leave. 421 is clear from boone eastward, so if you’re heading that way, you should be good (still be careful)

- SPREAD THE WORD. STAY TALKING ABOUT THIS. don’t let the government push appalachia under the rug yet again. repost pictures of the destruction, tell people’s stories. don’t let this fade away. repost tiktoks. repost tweets. reblog posts on tumblr. spread the word.

- DONATE i’ll post donation links and mutual aid organizations below. please note that many won’t be able to receive electronic monetary donations due to the lack of service in the appalachias, so donating to organizations is a good thing because they can get those donations processed off site and convert to physical supplies. donating electronically is still SO helpful, but if you’re wanting to help IMMEDIATELY, donating to organizations that are on the ground is the way to go.

Please note that I am trying to find organizations all throughout affected areas, but I am more aware of those in NC, so that is likely what there will be more of. If you are aware of other organizations, funds, and resources in other places, please message me and I’ll update this post with more.

RESOURCES

These will be updated as I find more, so check back in every now and then to see what’s up.

GENERAL

The 211 hotline or 888-892-1162 calls the NC Search and Rescue Center.

Disaster Roaming has been made available for some cellphone users in Western NC.

Apply for FEMA if you or your property have been damaged by Helene!!!!!!!

Appalachian Classifieds Facebook Group (Good communication platform if you are in WNC and need help/community/guidance or are in WNC and wanting to help)

BOONE-SPECIFIC

ASU Helping Hand (Instagram Account with Resources to Help)

Appalachian State campus now has power and Wi-Fi.

Holmes Convocation Center is currently occupied by the Red Cross.

Roess Dining Hall (Central) has been opened to any who need free food.

DONATE/SUPPORT

These will be updated as I find more, so check back in every now and then to see what’s up. DO NOT DONATE TO APPALACHIAN STATE UNIVERSITY RIGHT NOW. They have opened donations but they do not need your money. They need to use the millions of dollars the state gives them for their mediocre football team to help the town they’ve helped destroy.

American Red Cross Hurricane Helene Relief Fund - The American Red Cross is currently operating out of the Holmes Convocation Center in Boone. They are sheltering both people and pets but have minimal food to offer. They have been handing out cases of water bottles on App State campus to anyone who needs it as well.

Fleet of Angels - A charity dedicated to the upkeep of horses during and following natural disasters and other emergencies. Advocated for by Redfeather Farm, NC as the best place to donate to help horses affected by Helene.

Mutual Aid Disaster Relief - A grassroots organization dedicated to community disaster relief and assistance. Their Venmo is MutualAidDisasterRelief as they are currently accepting donations.

Appalachian Medical Solidarity - A grassroots network of those involved in medical care dedicated to supporting communities during disasters in Appalachia, notably around Buncombe county. Their Venmo is AppMedSolid as they are currently accepting donations.

Samaritan’s Purse Disaster Relief* - This organization is homophobic. You do not have to donate to this organization if you are uncomfortable with that. However, I am still listing it because they have been taking big steps to help out with disaster recovery and it is worth considering. They are one of the major movements in Boone right now. Beggars can’t be choosers in this scenario and any help is necessary to recover from this disaster.

Hartford, TN Relief Fund - A fund to help out the town of Hartford, TN, which has been ravaged by the hurricane.

Ashe Really Cares - A community-run group that provides clothes, food, and other essentials to those who need it in Ashe county. They are currently accepting donations to help with hurricane relief.

Hospitality House Northwest NC - Hospitality House is a major site of relief for unhoused people in northwest NC.

Hunger and Health Coalition - An organization that works to provide food and medication to those who need it.

F.A.R.M. Café - A Café that has always served pay-what-you-can meals to the Boone area. They’ve stepped it up to help with hurricane recovery.

MANNA Foodbank - A foodbank in Asheville that was secured prior to the hurricane, meaning they retained their supplies.

BeLoved Asheville - An organization on the ground distributing a wide variety of supplies to those in Asheville. They are in need of food, bottled water, contractor-size trash bags, blankets, first aid supplies, feminine hygiene products, diapers and baby clothes, hand sanitizer, toilet paper, paper towels, bleach, shovels, brooms, gloves, coolers, propane, cook stoves, flashlights, batteries, fans, dehumidifiers, and generators. Their Venmo is BeLoved-Asheville and their CashApp is $BeLovedAsheville and their Zelle is 828-412-2054 .

Help A Watauga County Family Rebuild - The Workman family had to be rescued by the fire department after their apartment was flooded. Both of their cars are not available—one totaled in a field and one still missing. They’re all safe staying with the Red Cross, but all they have is a single change of clothes.

Help Bavarian Village Residents Rebuild - Bavarian Village, a townhouse neighborhood, was flooded with over 3.5 feet of water. All of the residents have had to pack up their remaining items and leave, but they have been offered no alternative places to live or reimbursements of rent or funds. Hundreds of people, including many elderly and young families, have been displaced and now need urgent help.

WNC Regional Livestock Center - The WNCRLC is working to help farmers and their animals recover from the hurricane. They are also sheltering displaced animals—entire herds of cows have been washed away and need rescuing. By donating, you help them provide feed and care for them!! They have partnered with Yvonne Coburn with Civilian Disaster Response. Her contact is 828-216-4496.

Help An App State Student Rebuild After Losing Everything - Mya lost her car, apartment, everything inside both of those, Macbook, and more during the flood. This GoFundMe was set up by her family so that they can help support her while she is homeless.

Homeward Bound of Western North Carolina - An organization that works to help homeless people, especially near Asheville. They are working on providing clothes and shelter to those who need it.

Mountain Projects - This organization has helped disaster recovery a lot in the past. They have not been able to be contacted yet because their town, Waynesville, has been hit by flooding.

United Way of Buncombe and Ashe County - This organization is going to help out with disaster relief.

Help Two App State Students Rebuild - This GoFundMe is run by a friend of August and Cory who was with them when their home flooded as Hurricane Helene hit. The three of them were trapped in the upstairs part of their home for six hours and were nearly denied rescue. Now, they need to rebuild the lives they’ve lost.

Operation Airdrop - An organization that has helped Helene survivors in Florida using volunteers with aircraft as well as ground volunteers to deliver lifesaving supplies. They’re headed north to help out in Appalachia.

Help an Ashe County Family Rebuild After Hurricane - A family in Hot Springs, Ashe county lost their mobile home and their jobs due to Hurricane Helene. This GoFundMe will help them afford to keep going while they rebuild.

stay safe everyone, please give me more resources to edit this post with. thank you guys

posting here because this just doesn’t feel right to talk about in the horseimagebarn voice but this is extremely important to talk about.

my partner and i have returned to our hometown to stay with her family and my own has gotten a hotel here too (they moved to the town we currently live in after we did) so we are all safe and out of the thick of it

however there are tens of thousands of people who are not both in my own town and in the many surrounding it. appalachia will take an extremely long time to recover from this and there are more storms on the way. all i see on social media right now is people asking for shelter because their homes have been destroyed, or people asking for help searching for family members who are missing. hundreds of trees have fallen. hundreds of homes have flooded. roads are literally falling apart. preexisting sinkholes due to shitty pipes are opening up and consuming land. dams are on the verge of bursting and the only way to stop it is to release water so quickly it floods whole towns. all but one of our cell towers are down, so only people with at&t have service and the rest can’t contact anyone. over half the town still doesn’t have power. a major water supply issue occurred and the entire town is on a water boil order with no electricity to boil with. people are trapped in their homes and workplaces or out on the street because they have nowhere to go. law enforcement is blocking off roads but trapping people in the process. people have to be rescued by helicopter. our animal shelter has no water or power and boarding facilities have been flooded. entire villages like chimney rock nc are gone, and entire cities like asheville are cut off from the rest of the state and are completely inaccessible. ALL OF THE ROADS IN WESTERN NORTH CAROLINA ARE CLOSED. 400+ roads are closed because they are unsafe . that is INSANE!!!

when people say that climate change isn’t real, they don’t know what they’re talking about. climate change and its father capitalism are only going to continue to worsen lives in every way possible. i live in the mountains and our infrastructure is completely unprepared to handle hurricanes and it’s only going to get worse. it’s such a strange and eye-opening experience to live something like this when you think that it could never happen to you because that type of weather shouldn’t reach you in your environment. climate change doesn’t care where you live. it’s real.

western north carolina and the rest of the southeast that has been hit by helene need help. more people need to be talking about this so that the government DOES SOMETHING because the government historically fucking hates appalachia and it still does!!! the major state institution near me took DAYS to respond despite being the only place in town with power and wifi connection because they had to wait for the state to approve their response—they could have allowed thousands of people to evacuate days prior to the hurricane hitting us but they didn’t do anything before or after until it was too late!!! it’s bullshit!!! PLEASE get talking about this because something has to be done. climate change is going to continue happening and our mountains and the people in them are going to suffer immensely. hundreds if not thousands are now homeless. please talk about this look at the footage online of the wreckage and look how quickly our infrastructure crumbled. we need better. the people of appalachia deserve better.

i’ll get back to posting horses soon. but for now this is a lot. my friends are homeless and my family had to get off the mountain or be trapped there without power and water for days. we’re all safe but exhausted. i hope everyone who has been affected by this is staying safe. if you are in western nc, dm me. when i come back, if you’re in my area, im happy to bring supplies. stay safe everyone

[lynsburner]

UU, as i said, CERTIFIED NO SKIP. francesca is for sure my favourite song on the album, though first time is a verrry close second.

damage gets done is just so 🤲🏼🤲🏼 like idk how to describe it?? it just gives me shivers. i may be interpreting it differently, but it hits very very close to home for me tbh. i end up teary eyed every time i listen to it. also BRANDI?? automatic banger. i don't make the rules, sorry. (also heard it in a no frills once and had to stop myself from breaking down in tears)

unknown / Nth is heartbreakingly beautiful, it just makes me cry. when will mr. hozier-byrne stop making me so emotional? it’s frankly unfair. maybe i can sue for undue mental anguish…

both first light and i, carrion genuinely might be the most beautiful, ethereal songs ive heard in a MINUTE. like they feel like what you'll hear at the pearly gates or smth, they make me a bit teary, but idk. just love them sm.

i didn't go to any shows, unfortunately. everything is so expensive in toronto atm, it's ridiculous. hozier tickets for $120+?? with what money when groceries are at an all time high?? 😭 maybe next time 😔

i do want some merch, though, i might get some at some point soon. but more than anything i need a UU toque. like, the daisy embroidered on it? would buy automatically, take my money PLEASE 💳💥💳💥

regarding your fics.. lyn, you broke my heart. and healed it, yeah, but still. i had to take so many breaks while reading both HIATT and WKYA just to take a breath. truthfully, going into them i didn’t think anything could top GRATKOL, and now i realize that they don’t have to. they’re all so good in different ways, like GOD. it’s incredible. idk how many times ive reread all of your work these past couple months, they always bring so much comfort, and i love you for that 🥹

anyway, this was long. oops? 🤍🤍🤍

Long questions require long answers, so be prepared.

Let's go Francesca nation!!!!!!! (It came out on my birthday, ok, I hold a special kinship with her). It also (and please don't laugh at me for this) reminds me so much of like a 2008 Jonas brothers song IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE. When I first heard it, I remember texting my friends "wow he's like if Nick Jonas could read." lol

First Light might be one of my favorite album closers ever like genuinely it's so fucking good. And I, carrion was one of the first ones to get me to cry when I listened to the full thing (and did you hear he wrote that for his partner at the time as a gift?????? The song about the TRAGEDY??? My dude are you ok?????)

Also ok I need to admit that UU is not a no skip album for me... only because I skip unknown for my own sake. Seriously, I have only heard it live and I cried both times I did (My friends have made a whatsapp sticker of me crying to it as a joke lmao). The second verse always gets me good ™.

And damage gets done???? Fucking BANGER and just so fun and all about how like younger generations are being screwed by the ones before them like ok???? And shout out to the "Anyway..." in first time like he is truly a fellow millennial.

As for merch, his is.... so bad like I'm sorry I got the poster at my show because it was the only thing his ass did not draw. But I have a friend who does some stuff on redbubble, lemme pass the daisy idea on. And yeah, that ticket price is unfortunately the average down here in the city (and luckily I got paid the day before the 2024 leg went on sale lmao)

As for the writing, thank you so much my friend. Like from the bottom of my fucking heart you are truly so kind and wonderful and complementary and I really do not deserve it. Thank you for all that you do and say and I hope you're having the most amazing day

PS: Work might bring me to Vancouver for some stuff within the next few years. I know you said you're near Toronto, but if you have any Vancouver recs, lemme know!

[minniefights]

Update #13: Home at last

Last Thursday, we finally went home after more than 3 weeks in the hospital. Mom has been saying she wants to go home countless of times. But she wasn’t very well. So I was very dismissive of the idea. Until a few days ago, Mom cried a lot begging to be home. We know we can’t dismiss it this time.

But we have to give her the full scenario of her situation, including weighing the pros and cons. I had to clearly explain that at home we won’t be able to quickly respond to emergencies because we don’t have facilities nor medical experts at our disposal. She took a hard pause and thought about it. And finally I asked her to mark her choice and she ticked “Siblings. Love. Food. Etc.” That’s it. We start planning our discharge thereafter.

Her tears speaks so much. You see when she found out she had Cancer, she has questions but I did not see her cry. Casually, we talk about death and she doesn’t cry either. But loneliness, isolation from the people whom she loves, and there goes the tears pouring. This speaks so much about who my mother is, what she stands for. She always chooses life! As if screaming “What will I do with the medical facilities and staff if that deters me from fully living?” Diagnosis, pain, even death does not scare her, it’s the aching pain of loneliness that does.

Mom went home and with her NGT (nasogastric tube) because she doesn’t eat very well yet. She also still has her Central Venous Cathether (it’s like IV line but on her right neck, she had it because her veins had gotten so thin, it’s hard for the nurses/med techs to access). And also she her urinary catheter. We had to manage and transition so many things. Currently we have caregiver who comes 7AM-7PM who helps us out, my uncle nurse who lives at home and our family doctor visits to check on my mom. They help us manage the situation so Mom could get medical attention while at home. We also chart her vital signs to show it to the doctors (Blood Sugar, Blood Pressure, O2 Saturation, Heart Rate, Temperature and Water intake and output).

It’s hard but Mom’s joy makes it worth it. Upon arriving, she looked at me in the eye and said “Salamat ha!” I felt it deep into my core.

While waiting for our trip back home, she was also excited as ever. Check out her dancey dance!

But how is Mom really?

At the moment, we will still need to wait for the repeat laboratories to check on everything. As you know, when the patient’s discharged it’s also more difficult to access these things. But she’s already done with antibiotics for her UTI. Currently, the blockage in one of her arteries, is manageable as the doctors said. However, she’s really bed-bound now and has lost her mobility. She’s very determined to get it back, though, and looks forward to her Physical Therapy sessions.

But just basing on things not quantifiable by science, I could say my Mom is so much better because she’s VERY happy to be home. Her eyes sparkle more often, she smiles so much more and she even laughs every now and then! She’s eats more and she looks forward to her cold smoothies which I make for her daily. She has prescription milk which I infuse with fruits and ice, gives it to her twice a day. So far, she has been raving about her Durian Smoothie which she rated 10/10. She’s had it twice in the span of 3 days and we allow her since her blood sugar and blood pressure is on a healthy level.

We claim this is God’s miracle at work and we thank you for all those who have been praying for us! We know that our friends and family coming from different parts of the world have been praying non-stop. Our local community (The Light of the World) has also been praying together via Zoom three times a day! And you have been so generous in helping our practically and financially as well, it has helped us a lot in paying of our dues to the hospital! Thank you, thank you, thank you so much.

A quick snap of Mom, myself and Nono Nard (Fr Maynard, my Mom’s older brother and best friend)

[gikairan]

Boy it sure is fun to see Building Drama that you are just... not aware of.....

I mean i feel this is all par for the course in living in an apartment building. Especially as this is a pretty mixed building - theres people who own outright, people who own a % (like myself) and i think people renting here. I know this was outlined in a document i was given, but im not sure which one anymore. I also think theres specific units for social rent, not private rent. So, council flats basically.

And i dont want to sound like i've got anything against the social rent scheme - its important, and theres nowhere near enough of it. Unfortunately, theres... a bit of a stigma against people on the scheme. It tends to attract some of the less-savoury members of society. Theres a looot to talk about on this issue full stop, and i dont want to dive to deep into it. But poverty makes you more likely to be involved in crime, drugs etc, develop mental health issues etc etc. tl;dr poverty sucks, and is just generally very bad for you.

So the buildings got people who own 100%, own some %, and some who were possibly put here by the council. This is... maybe not the best idea? You've got people whose literal wealth is tied up in this building, and people who... have pretty much no stake at all.

Most of what i see of anyone is... their contributions to the bin room. Its... just.... a travesty. Like, the recycling literally says "no plastic bags" and yet the council are constantly refusing to collect them because theres plastic bags (filled with recycling) inside. The standard waste bins... people only seem to want to fill the handful that are nearest the doors. Once theyre full up, they just... start piling their bin bags on top. ... Despite the ones on the other side of the room being half-full at best. Sometimes, they use the floor! Last week there was half a pizza just on the ground! :D Do people want rats? Because this is how we get rats.

Then theres also... one guy on my floor. Now, i live right at the end. I go past everyones doors to get out, but no one has any reason to go to mine. I share a wall with no one. I dont interact with anyone. I'm far removed from any nonsense that might happen. But one thing i do know Floor smells like weed most of the time. And look - dont care. Think it should be legalised and taxed. Have worked with massive stoners my entire professional life. But the problem is that this guy is clearly inviting some unsavoury elements to the building? Not by virtue of simply smoking in his own flat (fine), but apparently drug dealing in the garage??

And how do i know this? Well another neighbour went and stuck up some letters to other residents in communal areas of the building about the buildings issues of course! :D

Including mentioning the drug deals in the garage (Among other things, some the issue of the housing association)

Today i find out one was posted in the lift, not just the one i saw in the front foyer while returning from a day in the office. Now i dont usually use the lift because i live on the first floor. I just... use the stairs... So how did i find out this was in the lift? Well, because the lift was open when i walked past. No one in it. The doors were just... stuck open. Did see some kind of cable sticking out of the side so uh... thats not great, dont want to see that. (As i returned upstairs i wanted to see what kind of connection it was and it... fell down... as i was looking... no idea what it was but id guess introduced to jam the doors somehow)

But the lift one also had... contributions from other residents. Including giving this persons door number. He doesnt live alone, btw. There is a partner in there, and also probably a kid? This guy is.... actually the only person ive had a conversation with, and i know hes mentioned a kid. Never seen the partner, btw, or kid. Partners written on the paper "dont give away peoples door numbers, my daughter lives here" And someone responded to that with "dont lie, its just your drug dealing boyfriend. I saw him smash up the sign downstairs" (Sure enough, the sign downstairs turned out to be broken when i got there) and just, oh boy oh howdy what the hell is going on here.... Im just minding my own business as one person seems to be shady, a bunch of other people are not pleased, and the shady guy is maybe going around breaking stuff because of it.... 🙃

And like, i dont know if this person owns or rents. Literally cant remember what file all this info was in, and if it said what flat counted under what scheme. I dont know if anything can be done to get rid of him, especially if he owns. Does someone deserve to be kicked out because theyre causing problems? IDK! But kinda sucks to have someone causing problems, and a bunch of people pissed off at them, while i sit in my little quiet corner and get whiplash when i go to throw my bins out....

[justfornowokaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I made this post about a month ago? And so far I am holding myself to it. Ive doing a 30 minute yoga routine at least 5 days a week (one week I was feeling a bit over worked and did it only 4) for about two months now. I have been walking at least half an hour a day, making sure any and all errands I run involve me walking. A task made easier by living in a walk-able neighborhood. Along with that for the last 3 weeks Ive incorporated a dumbbell and body weight routine Ive done at least three times a week. My body feels full of energy in a way that has been lacking since at least February 2020. I need to clean out the room my elliptical is in so that can be added to all this. I have also for the time being decided to just not smoke any more weed. While I generally enjoy it, I found I was over indulging and it was honestly dulling my brain. The act of smoking was starting to make me anxious because I knew I was pushing the amounts ever higher and just not doing stuff I needed to do. In the 6 weeks since I decided that, I have smoked just three small bowls and can honestly say my brain feel much better. I was clearly just looking to turn my brain off so not to deal with it. I will eventually like to smoke again, particularly in social settings. However like with alcohol nearly 15 years ago, I realized I like sober Alex much more. So as such I am Alex again. i can remember things in that creepy way I always have been able to. I'm reading and enjoying films which I had just flat out stopped watching. I'm slowly working myself up to start photographing things again. I have a really long way to go of course. I need to find a new job and really get myself fully back to what I know I can do but I told you all, I was going to dig myself out of this shit! I now have an urge to make stuff I need to nurture. If I could only now sleep 8 uninterrupted hours a night I could take over the world.

I would like you all to know that I am pulling myself out of this fucking pit that ive dug myself throughout the last 5 years in particular. I will hold myself accountable and make things happen. Just wait and see