#also i have a test tomorrow help
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having plenty of energy yet knowing you'll be tired af tomorrow is truly awful
#cause like i could do anything right now#but it's midnight#and i'll have to wake up early#and i will regret my life choices in the morning#yet here i am posting on this silly app#also i have a test tomorrow help#what is this energy for#how am i supposed to sleep#but of course i'm always super tired during the day#can we switch day and night?#it's awful#ari posts
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Art of Patroclus wearing Achilles’s armour that I did while writing an essay for my Greek and Roman Lit class last week
#doctorsiren#the iliad#patroclus#achilles#greek mythology#greek mythology art#digital art#my art#procreate#I showed it to my teacher and he was like :O!!!#and then he showed it to the class yesterday#and also I told him about Epic and apparently he’s already listened to it and thinks it’s super cool#and he told the class that I said more art was to come. especially for the odyssey HELP HAHAH#this is the SAME professor who knows I’m into Ford Pines LMAOOO#I did the art for fun but I think I’m getting extra credit for it hehe#this teacher also asked us if we knew what skibidi meant…he’s such a confused dad it’s so funny#very fun class#except I have my first test for it tomorrow so…let’s see if I still like it after that /silly#I was writing my essay about Achilles’s prayer to Zeus to keep Patroclus safe#and in the middle of it I was like ‘no…I need to draw something for this NOW’ and I did
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Here is the slut.
#dndads#dungeons and daddies#my art#glenn close#i have to wake up at 5 and write a math test tomorrow so you guys better be greatful i did this#cause i spend way too long trying to draw glenn hot like wayyy too long#i did not do school work cause of this#i dont even care about that damn pole i dont#but here is dilf glenn are you happy now?#are you satisfied?#i nearly cried cause of this damn drawing#also cause i lost my fave necklace down a fucking sink drain and am gonna have to beg some people tomorrow to help me get it out#at lesst im getting my hair dyed#i also have like two tests wendesday and like a bilion projects for thursday and Friday and all i did was draw hot glenn#im gonna go drink my hour old coffee and cry now#honestly vote carlos hes not a dick that sucks to draw#hot glenn autumn
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Love her even though I’m not supposed to ❤️ she keeps me up
#rottmnt#raphael hamato#casey jones#Cassandra jones#rasey#I don’t ship this version of rasey but I do#they’re lesbians your honour#contemporary style#textures#I love textures#played with some new ones here tooo#messed around with colours and got stuck deciding between these#just really wanted to draw these too because I finally started watching rise properly with my friend after 7 months of saying I would#and the itch was real I HAD to scratch it#we’re halfway through s2 btw#of course we saw s1 case couldn’t lift weights so this would have to be after some rep sessions I think#also Raphs fitting because I have a blood test tomorrow and as she said tests are easy it’s the answers that are hard#anyway shoutout to rena for helping me with the caption#and also to little me who wanted to be the biggest strongest kid and also a little baby who could be carried#both can and will co exist for raph
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Skytober 2024 day 28: ultimate
Look! It's a mini you
#i thank my friend for the caption#also this is really rushed cuz i have a test tomorrow lmao#wish me luck#my art#sky children of the light#sky cotl#artists on tumblr#skytober#traditional art#oc#idk help me
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Did driving practice today. Actually did parallel parking practice this time, even tho I really didn't want to still. Finally got it into my head that I can maybe do this.
SO......
I have scheduled my driving test. For November 13th, 3 weeks from today.
#speculation nation#IM SO NERVOUSSSSS but i need to do it. i need to. worst case scenario i fail and have to try again another day.#i was actually gonna try to schedule for a week from today but they were full up for the next 2 weeks.#so. 3 weeks! my therapist is gonna be happy for me when i tell her haha#this is. something ive been avoiding for over 10 years now. but i decided at the start of this year that This would be my year.#Year Of Unfuck My Life. and im finally doing it. im going to finally get my license.#it's so. huge actually. a similar level of Holy Shit factor as me graduating.#which seems like an uneven comparison but honestly ive just been so so so scared of this driving test#an insurmountable obstacle bc i was stuck at school away from family to help me practice etc etc#very tied up with me being stuck at school for so long actually. the neverending purgatory of being Stuck In Place.#but my cousin lives closer to me now and hes been helping me out. and i am so very grateful.#augh augh augh augh. life is so busy and it feels like everything is happening at once AAAAAAAAAAAA#but im taking it all in stride. i am. oh god i might have to just practice and then take my audition video all on the same day.#bc i am too tired to deal with it rn and i have an exam tomorrow so idk if i can practice then. also i have to clean.#i will make it work. i will make something work. for the love of fucking god i will make it work.#no time to write barely any time to relax but thats okay i am Go Go Going and trying to keep enough time to sleep#(prior few nights being the..exception lol.)#i certainly wouldnt want to live this way for too long. but just a few more months. i can do it.#next semester hopefully wont be as busy. i'll have 3 hard classes but if im lucky they wont even have much homework.#i can do it. i can get through it. i will get my license in 3 weeks (manifesting) and i will get my own car.#i will find a new apartment to live in. i will Hopefully find a job.#within a year my life is going to be much much different.#my life is Already much much different than it was just a year ago. tho this year has been more... metamorphosis.#in a year's time. i will be 28 years old. and the pieces will Finally be falling into place (hopefully!!!!!)#for now. god i need to rest. will probably go to sleep early tonight. need to be rested for my exam tomorrow.#first tho i gotta shower and feed both me and the cats. yes.
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we’re cooking with this (bnha oc insert RAAGH 🦖)
#₊˚𓂃 🍜⸝⸝﹒#wattpad era (literally just one chapter takes a month in the making)#also after i finish my scrapbook event i’ll go inactive here for a while hiho#but you’ll find me active on my ig tho if you guys still want to interact with me there ! promise i don’t bite#i’m pretty excited to meet new people trust 🫂#i’m also vey excited for this wattpad story ehe (i have so many things that need to get done send help)#tiktok series updates#daily tumblr fic posts#wattpad chapter publishing#medium article conjuring#ao3 wandering (still testing the waters for writing for my fav ships)#i’m in most socmeds guys 😭 i’m not intimidating at all </3 i’m simply a loser who’s studying pre-med#BUT BACK TO MY OC RAAAGHH 🦖‼️#this would be my fav if i execute it correctly#good night i shall sleep early tonight and wake up early tomorrow to study
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huh, I’m a chronic procrastinator but I’m doing good at locking in when I missed shit on short notice, maybe I am college material
#Ramblings#girl help I completely missed a assignment due mid night tomorrow but I can do this it’s a relatively easy assignment#I also have a test that’s also relatively easy and a pop quiz on Tuesday I’ve gotta study for#But that is very early into that class and I e been told it’ll only be 10 mins#And if nothing else I can get a better view of my weaknesses now that I can start working rather than getting screwed over later#I going to do such a good job and I will keep telling myself this
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Just remembered I have a psychiatrist appointment so early tomorrow. And I obviously dyed my hair so recently because there's green staining on my face. I don't think it's going to look great for the bipolar diagnosis, to disclose that I was feeling impulsive and wanted to get control over something, so I dyed my hair at midnight.
#i dont really like this psychiatrist but ive only seen her once so i figured i should give her one more shot#last time i saw her she adked how i liked my anxiety meds#i said i love them. theyre helpful and have no side effects since my body got used to them#and i said i explicitly didnt like ky old ones cuz of how they made me feel#she prescribed the old ones and said i should just tey taking a smaller dose. even though im on meds i like#but the bigger problem is#we went over all my previous medications. ive been on several. a lot of antidepressants especially which is really bad for bipolar#the worst antidepressant cause pericarditis (swelling around my heart) that made me go to the emergency room#we went over that. i told her everything i just told you#my bipolar leans heavily into the depression so she decided to tey another antidepressant along with my mood stabilizer#can you guess which antidepressant she prescribed? can you??#and i didnt realize it at the time because she called it the generic name so i couldnt explain she shiuldnt prescribe me that#and i meant to callher about it but it completely slipped my mind and i thought i had more time#and then suddenly my appointment is tomorrow#or the other thing she recommended was lithium. which feels like wuite an escalation#eapecially since she said it can cause irreversible damage to (maybe remembering this wrong) my kidneys#like i feel like there must be a better option. none of which are anxiety meds i dont like. an antidepressant that sent me to the hospital#or something that could cause irreversible damage. like i feel like theres a better way#i also need to talk to her about setting up an adhd assessment#i had an assessment a few years ago in which i was told im 'too smart to have adhd'#calling adhd people not smart is bullshit. you cant be too smart to have adhd. and i feel like i was just dismissed because im female#he said he wished he could score as hugh as i did on the knowledge tests#man me too. maybe then you wiuldnt be such an idiot. how did you get a license to practice. how did you pass any higher education#are you just a random guy that walked in off the street? i refuse to call him a doctor#i call him a quack or by his full name because i don't think he deserves the respect of that title#what was i talking about. oh yeah trying another assessment with an actual doctor this time#wish me luck with my appointment tomorrow bcuz she might try to kill me again#or dismiss my concerns of adhd like she dismissed my dislike for my old anxiety meds#im in hell. being mentally ill is hell a little bit#actually its not. im fine with my mental illness. im not fine with how doctors treat me because of it
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i have my first infusion tomorrow and the Anxiety is kicking in and i am trying so so hard to keep it calm
#marzi speaks#marzivents#EASY boy down boy it’s okay#i’m stressed bc i don’t know if i should bring any paperwork. or medication#(i’m gonna bring some of my meds in a purse just in case)#i don’t know what questions my rheum’s gonna ask#i don’t know what i’m going to do in terms of getting food#will the hospital provide a meal or will i have to request it from outside#i don’t know if my mom will be with me the whole time or just drop me off or if she’ll stay for some of it and then leave#i don’t even know what the infusion center looks like#all i know is that i’m gonna sit with a needle in my arm for 4-6 hours and that i should respond well to it#and my anxiety stems from Not Knowing i HATEEEE not knowing things#uuuuggghhhh it’ll be fine. it’ll be fine. the staff at that hospital are lovely and used to helping stressed kids#so they can help if i have an anxiety attack#and it wouldn’t be embarrassing bc i went through a traumatic experience and these people help people for a living#so it’s gonna be fine. but i hate that i don’t know how it works#will i be in my own little room for a little bit? i imagine not. is there any privacy?#or am i just going to be sitting with a bunch of other people getting chemo?#i don’t KNOW. i don’t know and i really don’t like it#but i need to go to sleep soon. but i still have this stupid insomnia even though i’m tired#probs gonna have to warn my mom that i’m gonna be a little neurotic tomorrow. bc i hate this anticipation actually it makes me feel awful#and like with the follow-up with my rheumatologist that’s also gonna be happening#what kind of questions will she ask? what kind of things will i need to know? ohhh god#ok deep breaths. relax. it is late and i am tired and therefore more prone to catastrophizing#i do know this doctor. i know she is kind and patient. this is not a test. it’s going to be okay#gotta remind myself that it’s gonna be okay. do my cyclical breathing and try to relax physically#the mental will follow as the fatigue sets in#okay. okay. we’re a little calmer. still not Plussed but we’re okay#gonna try to get sleepy now
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bf says ive been going thru it and doing really well at that. bursts into tears.
#im like a toddler that needs a nap except ive badly needed a nap every minute of every day for a week because covid#and im trying really hard#im actually really okay. i don't have my first math test for another week and two days and if i did terrible on#the bio test today my lowest test grade gets dropped and it's okay. it's okay. it's okay.#i am recovering and working and in a class that is very hard for me and i miss simon so bad. i was too tired to drive last weekend#and couldn't go the one prior to that bc covid obviously#it's okay it's okay it's okay#also im getting the depo provera shot in november. i'm fully over it#also the fatigue is getting better by the day. it's okay. it's okay#getting the shot. seeing si on friday. my math prof is very kind and understands that i'm struggling and wants to help. fatigue is getting#better. turns out i don't have work tomorrow. im gonna play valo w seity sometime soon that will be SO fun.#new comfy desk chair. im gonna put something on and work thru my math hw and submit questions without feeling bad about it#it's okay it's okay it's okay it's okay. im being sooo brave.#he also said it's insane that i've had to work this week because i'm very much still symptomatic. it got me really good this time#the initial sickness wasn't nearly as severe as the last time i had covid but this one is more drawn out#im still having sinus symptoms/pain on top of the fatigue. cried in my car both days that i worked 👍 it's okay. it's okay
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random oc doodles I have that no one asked for 😼
#im going to write a whole essay in tags dw abt me guys#anyways haha#my oc mau never beating these gojo allegations#maybe thats why I like gojo sm I see him as my silly son😭#I dont think ill care if this flops I just want u guys to see them I love my sillies so much#also I dont want to be strictly jjk artist so😼 watch me figure my own account out#kinda want to do trigun art too... or genshin.. I have had so many silly moments in coop#most fucked up thing is how little time I have#saw screenshots of new jjk episode AND I CANT WATCH IT (maybe saturday though)#literally did biology homework FOR THREE HOURS#OUR FIRST BIOLOGY LESSON IS TOMORROW!! WE HAVENT EVEN MET THE TEACHER YET#I think I have a test tomorrow in swedish 😨#also my roommate broke the lamp trying to help me change the trash bag (old one had broken somehow)#I vaccuumed the floor like 6 times#I still find glass#its like glitter#its on the floor its in her hair its in the corridor its in my slippers and I even found one in my foot#oc#own character#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#guys could u tell but I hate musk so sooooo much#mau and sol#I have a pan on my shelf#theres an amogus plushie in it#I miss artfight it was so much fun#(I was fighting for my life trying to revenge everyone)
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Sadness is being so close to finishing a large wip, but final week(s) coming so I gotta push everything aside in order to have a chance of making it through this final stretch
#I want to post about the beloved bounty hunter already#And I could have if I had just left it as the sketch but brain said it needs at least some polish XD#staring longingly at procreate#also am I procrastinating? yes#have I studied for tomorrow's test? no#will I make it? somehow! fdjkghkjfdsg#the executives are not functioning well today XD#help
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ive spent like 4 hours just staring at my math homework LET ME OUTTTT
#i also spent like 40 minutes in class staring at it. like i genuinely cant get it thru my head#i cannot do this shit i dont have the mental capacity#i hate mcqs. who put me in ap precal#do i just skip this assignment.... i have an 84% in this class rn#yea im not doing it ill be fine lolol maybe ill do some of it tomorrow n get my friends to help me w it#SHOUT OUT AERIES WHAT IF MODE 🙏 literally itll only drop my grade by <2%.. n these r test points yea im not stressing over 1%#im actually good at math its just i cannot comprehend word problems. also i didnt have a math teacher for like half the year so that too#cam says stuff
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Partner's illness has officially hit me. Throat is very sore, sinuses are starting to complain, and fever is coming back. I'm carving spicy food, which I only eat when I'm sick, and I stupidly didn't order any this morning. I did make sure we were stocked up on soups, salads, bread, and lunch meats, so we should be fine for a few days. Might have to send partner out for more child medicine if they start to feel better though; they've gone through a lot of what I've bought and hid the rest and can't remember where it is.
#currently drinking medicinal tea and wishing it was something caffeinated#i preemptively took a mucus pill because my nose was starting to get bad and i don't want to have to get up in the night for it#also loaded up on vitamins which may or may not work but let's me pretend I'm helping my body#partner tried to blame this on me earlier until i got sick which is funny#they're the one who went multiple places last weekend without masks#they're clearly the one who brought this home#I'll take another covid test tomorrow but i don't think it's that#either way it sucks
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goodnight... maybe if i set an alarm on my phone instead of my alarm clock i will hate it less
#that way i have to get out of bed to turn it off also#anyway goodnight... today was pretty good overall actually. helped out with a kindergarten class they were very sweet#test tomorrow i think... whatever. goodnight 👍#.txt
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