#also i feel like people dont talk about shelly enough | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

crowvert-bird · 2 months ago

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quick warning: i dont support the creators of dandys world and their actions (roxs (allegedly) EXTREMELY questionable actions towards minors, the (alleged) censorship of people talking about roxs actions in their discord server, and their (alleged) constant downplaying of the controversy just to name a few), i just like the game, thats it

also third batch!!! i think im gonna make fully rendered art of them eventually or 3d models if im bored enough, i kinda miss the 50 hours id spend making the lineart and shading ngl

first batch , second batch

o yea and i gave some of them new abilities cuz i felt like it and sometimes their design was fundamentally different enough from the original that itd be better to have new abilities than try to figure out how the redesign would use their canon ability (like redesigned toodles), if i dont mention an ability thats kept in the redesign its probably been replaced with another one, and im calling canon twisteds by CT!(name) and the redesigned twisteds by RT!(name)

twisted toodles: third worst jumpscare

- Can now see as far as CT!Pebble can. As slow as CT!Finn when roaming, but rolls REALLY fast like a bowling ball when chasing. The rest of her stats are the same.

- A little bit before her roll starts, she splashes some ichor on the ground near the player (to basically tell them the direction of her roll). It's close enough that they'll be able to see it even in a blackout without light upgrades, but far enough that you'd have to pay a bit of attention to notice it.

- When she's chasing a player but ends up going out of a specific range from them (the range is a VERY big circle), she stops, repositions herself really fast and rolls again to run over the player. If she hits a player, she keeps rolling until she hits a wall. Then, when she hits a wall she immediately loses aggro, gets blinded and can't move for like 2 seconds before getting back up to roam again. If she doesn't hit a wall while she's chasing a player, she keeps rolling.

twisted tisha: figure from doors real

- She's slower than average now. She still cleans floors, but now she cleans ceilings too!! The rest of her stats are the same.

- Can extend her legs really far, to the point where she can touch the ceiling with her hands. Leading to her being able to look above walls and down at you.

- She can now feel the vibrations your footsteps make as long as you're near her, even when you're walking and she's really high up. She won't attack you immediately, she'll just pause her cleaning for a bit and look in the direction of the vibrations (there's a short delay between her noticing the vibrations and her looking). If she sees you, she'll start chasing you like a normal twisted while retracting her legs to be at her normal height.

twisted teagan: more dangerous than twisted shelly (oops)

im splitting this into 3 parts for each character in the tea set

disurf

- Is as fast as CT!Toodles but is always hiding in a corner.

- Runs away from players when RT!Teagan starts attacking, bringing RT!Teagan with her to hide in another corner. Disurf actively dodges players as much as she can while still keeping her speed, so she sometimes ends up running into players making them lose a heart. Disurf keeps running away until her attention span runs out, at that point she's gonna start looking for the nearest corner to hide in.

teagan

- Her line of sight defaults to where Disurf's line of sight is. When Disurf sees a player, RT!Teagan looks in the same direction as her for like 1 second. If RT!Teagan doesn't see anyone, she goes back to her default line of sight.

- Only attacks when she has direct line of sight with a player. She attacks by throwing twisted Cupbits at you. You can dodge them by hiding behind walls, or, if she's far enough, by stepping aside so that the Cupbit flies past you.

cupbits

- They're average speed, never break when thrown, and have a shorter than average attention span. They have no special abilities, only a regular attack.

- They die after 7 seconds by falling apart and turning into pure ichor, then that ichor gets smaller and smaller and disappears. There's no limit on how many twisted Cupbits can be spawned at once.

AND:

- They're a hivemind, if one of them sees you, all of them do. When you get seen by one of them:

All twisted Cupbits have their attention spans refreshed, but only if the player that was seen is the same player they're chasing.

- Disurf will avoid running in your direction and will instead do a full 180 and run the other way (even if there's players in that direction).

EVEN LONGER RANT UNDER CUT but i explain my twisted designs, the actual reasons to y i dont like the canon designs, and other shit i guess idk (in that order)

my twisted design process (for all twisteds):

i realllly didnt like the way i handled the twisted designs in literally every single one of my redesigns (except for poppy, box and lamp i guess??) so i made some rules for how to make them so its not just "make them big and sharp and splash them with ichor", its canon divergent yes but its really cool i think so its staying:

the twisted versions of every character are mutated versions of themselves that lean so very hard into their main personality trait or role in a very negative way, to the point that theyre almost like mean-spirited parodies of themselves (carries over to how their special twisted abilities work too), theyre waay more likely to get violent too (u kno, so that theyre twisted versions of themselves)

patches of ichor appear at spots that changed from the original design (the ichor comes first, then the mutations), or their clothes absorbed it cuz the ichor kinda acts like water that makes worse stains, or they got filled up by ichor in some way

i headcanon that these versions of the twisteds would sometimes reenact episodes from the tv show or some of the routines theyd go through while the place was still running, but waaaaay more tense and sometimes depressing cuz of their mutations and very big personality shift

most likely reasons to y i rlly dont like the canon designs:

i looked at some more fanart and i legit cant tell if i actually dont like the character designs or if i just dont like the games artstyle wat the hell ;-; LIKE THEY LEGIT LOOK PRETTY GOOD WHEN OTHER PEOPLE DRAW THEM!!

BUT I FINALLY FOUDN THE WORDS TO PROPERLY EXPLAIN Y I AHTE THE CANON DESIGNS SO MUCH!!! its cuz a lot of them feel very lazy and generic, like the only thing making them stand out is the fact that theyre a dandys world character and not just a character, like theyre simple yes thats cool and that works really well for a character like pebble and sprout, but most of them are TOO simple cuz they usually have like only 1 range of color in their design (tisha is blue to white, brightney is dark red to white, shelly is brown to cream, while sprout is red to white and green, and rodger is black to brown and purple)

but some of them have things in their design that just dont work (finn, poppy, brightney), maybe its cuz stuff are in bad places (poppys bow on her head) or they just dont look good (finn), wat makes this even worse is that some characters like tisha and brightney and shrimpo have patterns to try and make their design more interesting i gues?? but it just doesnt work and genuinely makes it feel more generic :(

so i think the real problem with dandys worlds designs is a few things:

1. that theres not enough diversity in their colors if u get wat i mean, like seriously most of the skins do this (having different colors to make sure not everything is visually samey)!!!

imo the biggest example of "not enough color diversity" is vee and astro and their skins, like they look SO MUCH BETTER when theyre not just "green, black" and "purple to cyan, black, white" (i wouldve put teagans skin in here too if there was just slightly more yellow), it doesnt even have to be colors that are on the opposite sides of the color wheel, just visually pleasing color combos!!!

2. just better structuring (if thats wat u call it) i guess??

like finn, yes his character design fits the having enough color diversity problem, but it just doesnt work, i think its cuz of how saturated the cyan and orange are, making them not mesh well together, like if the orange was a darker less saturated color then maybe the colors could work, but it could also just be his clothes, like switch out his life vest for anything else thats related to marine stuff (maybe a swimsuit with flipper feet??) and his pants for something darker

3. not following their theme very well, or theyre pretty lacking in roles so their theming is very vague

i think shelly is the biggest example of this, like why is she a shell, i get that shells can be fossils too but honestly just make her a skeletal dinosaur at that point or one of the many modern descendants of dinosaurs (like birds and crocodiles and turtles), her twisted design is rlly good tho!!! its my favorite design in the entire game and its honestly the coolest one too

and now for 3 characters that i think have problems in most of these (that i havent already mentioned):

glisten is an example of another color problem that i didnt mention cuz i felt like this was a problem that only glisten had, the colors not being the right color (idk how else to name it ;-;), he looks SO GOOD in fanart but hes just meh in the official game even when compared to his original picture as a dhmis oc, and im pretty sure its cuz the pink parts of his design arent saturated or dark enough, leading to the yellow parts of his design blending in more easily with the bow (look at the black and white version as a reference on that, the brightness of the pink and yellow are very close to each other meaning ud have a harder time trying to tell them apart, its easier to tell when colored yes but their brightness still carries over leading to some color blending (idk another word for it srry), not as much blending as in the black and white version but still a subtle detail u could pick up on), and his blush, im gonna be honest with u i just think it looks bad and i dont even know y, just eyeshadow would look waay better

boxten oh god, they do kinda follow the color diversity thing but the way hes designed is just not it, he doesnt come off as shy in his design or the dialogues i saw or even animation, hes more of a softie than anything, i only knew that he was shy when i read his info card

poppy follows the color diversity thing the most imo, pink cyan and yellow are colors that i think work really well together, but the structure of her design and how well her design fits her role doesnt work either, actually im pretty sure i fixed her design structure in my second redesign (second batch) of her, all i did was move the bow from being weirdly placed on her head to being tied around her waist like glisten and mess around with the colors, now with her design fitting her role, i think the bubble is a good choice!! it fits playful way better than energetic i think but it still works, my only problem is with her clothes, it does not give off energetic vibes, i honestly think shed have a better design if she wore the clothes professional tag players and maaaybe mountain bikers wear

other shit idk:

honestly i wanted to include all the mains here too (as of writing, shelly has a complete redesign (more changed than the lamp) and vee and astro are just light redesigns, im not done with sprout and im never redesigning pebble hes already perfect) but the release date for the new update dropped as soon as i was gonna start digitizing the twisted tea sets design, actually i think i went overboard on like ALL of the redesigns to the point where i should prob start calling them rewrites or very loosely inspired instead, oops i did NOT mean to do that

also i just recounted the total characters, theres only 21 of them how the fuck did i get 22 last time???

#my art #redesign #dandys world #dandys world glisten #dandys world toodles #dandys world tisha #dandys world teagan

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c00pswhore · 2 years ago

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South Park headcanons

these are my personal takes pls dont burn me with a torch <3

edit: was written and posted before s26 ep 5

Main 4 and Butters!

Stan is “the boy next door” trope and that is one of the millions of reasons he hates living on the farm

SPECIFICALLY: because it makes him the stereotypical redneck that lives in a small town and happens to live on a farm.

Wendy is the one who introduced him to the trope in the first place because she was "the girl next door and my boyfriend is the boy next door!!"

He wasn't really big on books and took Wendy literally hence moving away from Wendy totally convinced him they were over.

He cried about it until Wendy showed up for game night (board games) and she was gushing about the boy next door moving "fit perfectly" for their relationship.

Then they broke up over a game of monopoly (they usually get back together over the weekend)

Shelly found out about his hidden alcohol and then immediately showed him her stash. She still threatened to snitch because he was too young to be drinking.

He and Shelly have a game where they take a shot every time Randy says something about weed.

Randy's middle initial is S, I like to believe that his middle name is Stanley, and Stan is named after him :P

Stan’s middle name is Francis because that was Sharon's first option but Randy thought it would be hilarious if all of them had S in their names.

Eric "Theodore" Cartman makes fun of Stan for his middle name because "Fuck kind of name is Francis??"

Kyle has refused to utter his middle name to anyone. Not even Stan. Apparently it starts with a U.

The boys only know this because once when they were playing over at Kyle's house and his cousin Kyle's family came to visit and Sheila was calling for Kyle to get his cousin to join them.

Kyle didn't answer the first few times so when Shelia burst into his room and started yelling "Kyle U-" Broflovski screamed and followed her to the living room, leaving the other 3 in absolute bewilderment.

Kyle's middle name is Uziah. His parents call him that ONLY when family comes to visit because of his cousin Kyle S. or when he's in HUGE trouble.

Whenever his cousin first came to visit, he begged his mom not to call him by his middle name because

1. Cartman 2. Cartman and 3. Cartman

So Kyle 2 was settled that fateful day.

Kyle plays knight's in training with his knighted brother because he secretly thinks it's so cool.

Like he sat and read up on everything he could learn about Canadian knight's for Ike just to make their play more accurate. And he will never admit it to anyone.

Kenny's middle name is Logan. Cartman claims that his middle name is the most common name for poor people.

Kenny got his first phone (iPhone 7) from Kyle and all of his usernames use his middle name

Logang.McC1 is his main iteration and he absolutely cyberbullies anyone who interacts from the Logan Paul side of the internet

Also laughs at Cartman for getting pissed off that Kenny doesn't care if his middle name is for poor people because again, Logan Paul is living proof it isn't.

Kenny knows sign language and is fluent. He has selective mutism due to trauma (negligent parents, immortal, foster care) and uses it to talk.

Sometimes he just doesn't wanna talk and he'll just start signing and nobody knows what he said. Ironically.

Taught Butters sign language to solely shit talk Cartman with him.

Cartman swears that he can feel them talking about him, but doesn't care enough to learn to find out.

Kyle and Stan know some basic communication signs and they use it sparingly. Otherwise they'll just text him.

Kenny and Karen have a secret language that they speak to each other in.

It started whenever their parents would get drunk/high and start to fight, which scared Karen, so Kenny invented their secret language to make her laugh without drawing too much attention to them.

Kenny loves playing tea time and princesses with Karen (hence why he loves being Princess Kenny) even though they don't have all the materials

The reason the other boys don't laugh at Kenny for being into "girly" things is because Clyde made the mistake of laughing at him, after going to get him to play superhero's and 15 ish mins later in Cartman's basement Mysterion showed up and beat the actual shit out of Mosquito.

Cartman is currently attempting to convince Liane to get their house open and going for extra money to move out.

Liane told him to make a unique hot dog and maybe she would consider it.

Cartman determined to revive Cartman Burgers (R.I.P) came up with his world "famous" chili dog recipe.

Liane was mortified that Cartman even considered using chili and told him never mind.

He was pissed off for weeks.

Cartman is surprisingly good at cooking, and before his untimely demise, he used to cook for Clyde Frog.

When he isn't being a complete psychopath, Cartman streams and records on Twitch for money, using his hotdog house as guilt bait.

The only people who watch are the Boys and they all make fun of him in the chat. He always reads them out loud and cusses them out.

Cartman uploads clips of his twitch streams to TikTok, as a joke to make fun of Kyle, and they blew up.

The reason? Fat kid screaming at chat for bullying him and uses racist remarks as a comeback. Perfect gamer material.

His Twitch channel now has 1,000 subs and a dedicated subreddit.

The boys were initially jealous, but laugh whenever they find out Cartman started the subreddit.

Cartman's dream job at one point was to be a sniper.

Butters loves Kyle's afro because his parents only let him have shaved sides.

Butters hair naturally is sorta wavy so he harasses Kyle about his hair routine. Kyle told Butters he had one more time before he would karate chop the shit out of him. (Kyle ended up spilling his 35 step care routine though)

Butters and Stan both have honorary access to the girls board game club and Butters only goes to offer Stan moral support

Butters, Kyle and Stan all stay after school for football and soccer practice and he usually invites the two boys over to his house to watch Terrance and Phillip.

Butters got his nickname because his hair is the color of Butter.

JK: In preschool he brought a stick of butter for show and tell and tried to explain that it was his pet butterfly, because earlier that week his father told him the butter flies joke.

Butters joins Kenny and Karen sometimes for princesses and tea but he dresses up as a pretty ballerina.

That's all I got really. :P

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cuddlyhawk · 5 years ago

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You know when so much stressful / frustrating / heartbreaking things happen, and eventually your body just...stops reacting to it?

yeah..

vent under cut:

as of 3/11 i lost one job because it was at a school and all the schools are closed now, and they aren’t even paying us sick time or whatever because of the virus. we just dont come in and they just dont pay us so its like i was laid off and theres nothing i can do. awesome.

as of 3/12 i got approved to get a new apartment (which I have no idea how ill pay for, now that i lost a job, so i may be getting this new apartment for nothing), and they told me it was ready to move in to just this morning (3/18), so i went to look at it but the manager forgot i was coming and even after i called, was an hour late bringing the key. once we finally got inside to look at it, it was in fact not done. there werent even faucet handles on the shower, and there were live bees in the room so im trying to talk with her about finishing the apartment asap, and getting rid of the beehive so i can move in. oh and apparently even though there’s a fridge in the apartment, the last tenant said it doesn’t work. tried it, and it indeed doesnt work. so i asked to get a new fridge and the manager said ‘we arent giving them out anymore’ so looks like i need a new fridge that i didnt plan on buying because the managers just arent giving them out anymore. fantastic.

as of 3/18, my other job, which im on the verge of losing because its a tutoring job and students arent in school so they dont want tutoring (and so i have half the hours i had before, and the hours drop more every day), is still requiring us to go into the office to skype our students rather than just letting us do it from home. so healthy.

also on 3/18 i could feel myself spiraling, and i tried calling my psychiatrist to schedule a session or something, because im not doing too good, but the number rang and rang and then i got a message: “your party is not answering. please try again later” and then disconnects. so i cant even talk to a professional whos supposed to be there for me. wonderful.

and ON TOP OF EVERYTHING, i just found out like 10 minutes ago (also on 3/18, best day ever) that my parents will be putting my childhood pet turtle to sleep on friday. the dumbass can’t lay her eggs and its making her sick, so before the eggs go septic, my parents are putting her down so she won’t be in pain.

It’s been a hell of a week, and when I found out I was losing Shelly, I cried for only a moment. But then my brain just...switched off. And I can’t feel anything. I’m not happy. Not sad. Not frustrated anymore. Just...blank. I’m sure it’s shock or something, but I can’t feel it.

I’m not doing too good, you guys. The only positive thing is that I’ll get to move to my apartment soon? That is, as long as it’s cleaned out and actually finished by the time I’m supposed to move. But everything is so dull, I can’t even feel happy about that. My parents are helping me too, which is so nice. But it doesn’t feel like enough. I can’t tell them that though, because I’ll sound ungrateful. I’m not, I’m incredibly grateful. And if they weren’t helping me, I’m sure I’d be even worse off than I am now, if I was even alive right now. So I’m grateful. But it still doesn’t feel like enough and I’m just so tired of all this. I’m sure there are plenty of other people who “have it worse” but I’m suffering because of what I’m going through, and I can’t minimize that.

#mental health #mentally ill #tw animal death #animal death #emotional shock #lost my job #need therapy #therapist isnt answering #i cant even feel the muscles in my face #like theyre completely disconnected from me #i cant make an expression even if i tried

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japanessie · 6 years ago

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Hi Shelly! I'm sorry you're feeling blue! I was going to ask that about Taka and Hiro, too, but was worried I'd get too upset but since someone else asked anyway...It just kind of made me wince with hurt for Hiro when a few years ago Taka ranted on instagram about privacy (for his own life, not about his family). Like, where was your voice when your own fans were BULLYING your baby brother or when they posted on a forum after the ONE time Tomohiro finally showed his face, they asked if he was...

[2/3] Adopted! He already had issues being on camera (hasnt been on since, cant blame him). So, Hiroki looks too much like Taka but Tomo doesn’t look enough? They’re his little brothers, I think bullying BOTH Little brothers is when the time to speak up is. I’m not saying the bros cant handle themselves but I just feel Hiro, aside from mfs, has been on his own. It would be nice if his eldest brother took responsibility for his so called “fans” who attack his family and stood up…

[3/3] Sorry it just hits close to home. I know what it’s like 2 not have your older bro there when u need him most. When he leaves u in a house burning with hatred (i got to hear my parents accuse each other of cheating while my bro was out smoking & drinking. It makes me wonder what Hiroki heard when no one thought he was listening). I dont mean to take it personally or anything, I just feel like Hiroki & I are very similar. It’s why I like mfs. I’m sorry, I just have no one else to talk about it to.

−−−−−−−−−−−−−− −−−−−−−−−−−−−−

Hi 😊. I combined your messages together into one for easier reading

First of all I’m sorry for the pain that you personally had to go through. I hope you’re doing okay 🤗. At the same time though, I see uniqueness besides similarities in everybody’s situation.

1. Someone who is broken can’t be a crutch for someone else

In a traditional family setup in many cultures, even more prominent in Asian cultures, the eldest child is always the one assumed to carry responsibilities of looking after the younger ones. In a family crisis situation, while the younger ones theoretically have the one they can turn to, the eldest child has nobody and is usually left to fend for himself and everybody else.

Some elder kids have the inner strength and maturity to carry it at young age but some really struggle with it and only develop at a later age. Your brother and Taka seem to be in the latter category. Like Taka, your brother walked out because he was hurting and that was the shortcut way he knew how to surpress it and to stay away from what was troubling him at home. He couldn’t be your pillar when he was broken himself. Just like Taka who took the quick way out and his story had been well documented.

Also, a lot of times, someone who feels worthless doesn’t understand why anyone would feel hurt to see him walk away. I’m sure Taka himself only fully began to understand NOW, as an adult, the hurt he caused Hiro when he walked away back then. In his mind, he was a loser. Not doing well in school, stressed out over the parents’ marriage breaking up, not getting along with their father, very unhappy and not knowing where his future was heading. Certainly not someone for little Hiro to look up to. How would he look after Hiro when he could barely take care of himself?

* The Moriuchi brothers in those days when they used to be around each other a lot, before OOR moved out of Japan 😊

2. Some people need to pull themselves together first before they can love others

That dark period in Taka’s life was not something he’s proud of. He acknowledges it in interviews and his lyrics. Even OOR members admitted that Taka wasn’t exactly a pleasant person to deal with when they first found him. But once he got his life on track, things fell into places. He made amend with his father and got back the Moriuchi name. While Taka couldn’t give back the years with him that Hiro lost, he let Hiro hang around his friends and be a part of his life back in that way.

Even Hiro never denied the perks of being Taka’s brother. The most significant was when one of Taka’s close friends K from Pay Money To My Pain befriended Hiro and how that friendship led to the formation of MY FIRST STORY.

Think again, would Kei Goto a.k.a the late K simply befriend a random underaged high school kid just like that? I highly doubt it 🤔. Hiroki Moriuchi was NOT some random high school kid. K and Taka were buddies and Hiro the high school kid was Taka’s little brother. I doubt Taka would let his little brother hang around someone he didn’t trust. He knew Hiro was in good hands. All these happened only after Taka got his life back on track and was able to be the big brother figure he was meant to be for Hiro.

3. Taka publicly standing up for Hiro would be bad for Hiro’s image

Yes, it would be counter-productive for Taka to do so. You see, the ROOT of the hate and cyber-bullying towards Hiro stemmed from how easy things happened for him because of his family connection. If Taka had spoken out, it would make Hiro appear weak and ultra-dependant on his big brother.

“Duh! Not only he got a band because he’s Taka brother. Now, he needs to be protected like a baby!”

Hmm … does that sound good to you? We also need to see things from the haters’ perspective too, you know. Oh, with Papa being a multi-millionaire? Trust me. Hiro would get even less respect if any of his family members had spoken out for him. The bullying might get even worse.

As for Tomo, anything his family members say would bring unnecessary attention to him. He appeared on TV that one time because of his job at the station. Otherwise, he’s very private. It’s unfair on him if his famous family gives more reasons for the public to scrutinize his life when that’s the last thing he wants.

4. Being seen publicly as a brave independent fighter would be far more beneficial for Hiro

It worked well for Taka. He only started displaying his bonds with his parents AFTER he had firmly made a name for himself even though they had been on good terms since the early days of OOR. Likewise, Hiro would be less relatable to many fans if he is constantly being taken care of by his more famous and successful family members. Isn’t that the public perception Hiro is still trying hard to break away from?

Not just the Moriuchi, I have never seen being publicly defended by family members work well for ANY celebrity in the world. It may work for ordinary folks but things work differently for famous people.

I do support Hiro but I think even his most ardent supporters would agree that he somewhat gives off these “baby” vibes. MFS members themselves seem protective towards him. They let him be mischievious, loud and boisterous with them but they’re always there to hug him when he cries. Therefore, independence from his family would balance that out nicely.

5. Taka made a conscious choice to speak only for himself because he knew any reaction to it would be directed to him and ONLY him

As opposed to Taka speaking out for any of his family members, whom the public might hurl the hate and negative reaction to instead.

Things just work differently for celebrities. In a way, to minimize the bullying towards their loved ones, staying out of their public battle a lot of times is the better way to go. By not bringing more attention to it.

Likewise, none of Taka’s family members said anything when Taka had to face a barrage of criticism and angry reactions at the time. The ones who publicly defended him were his friends and peers. Guys like Mah (SiM) and Masato (Coldrain) among some. For celebrities, somehow testimonies from people they have worked with or even strangers they have encountered hold much higher values than family members.

With their chosen careers, backlash and criticism come with the territory. That’s what their parents want to instill in the two brothers. “You have chosen this path. Learn to deal with it.“

6. Rude fans are rude fans nonetheless

Rude people don’t suddenly become angels just because their idols ask them to. Just look at the backlash against Taka. It was quite brutal. Just like how Hiro got pictures of a woman pooping by his haters, I saw a photo of a “hairy ding dong” for Taka among some, along with truckloads of really scathing words. By his own fans (or should I say “ex-fans"?). If this kind of fans are willing to treat Taka like that just from ONE social media post, then nothing good can come out of it if Taka had said or done anything about Hiro’s haters. The ones who would cheer him would still be the same ones who already support MFS anyway.

Remember when fans were speculating that OOR’s song Right By Your Side as being dedicated to Hiro? Those who like MFS thought it was a sweet gesture but those who don’t like MFS used it as an excuse to say, “Look! Taka wrote a song for Hiro. Yet he still wants to call Taka his rival. What a low life!”. Yes, I’ve personally seen comments like that. So, see? Whatever Taka does regarding Hiro, mean-spirited people will still find a way to set fire to it.

7. There must be more than meets the eye

Fans went nuts when the brothers wore this pair of pants. I doubt it’s a coincidence that Hiro suddenly is comfortable wearing Taka’s look when he used to be sensitive about being called Taka’s copy before.

But that’s not even something new. in January 2018, Taka posted a photo of himself wearing this Monster’s Inc hoodie at Disneyland. That same month, Hiro was wearing that same Disney hoodie at his 24th birthday party.

Heaven knows what Taka had said to Hiro in private especially after MFS Budokan show 🤔. At the end of the day, they are family and though I also know many families who cut ties from each other, Taka and Hiro clearly are the ones who keep theirs 😉.

2 more cents

I feel that Taka is doing the right thing by staying away from Hiro publicly. Not responding to the negativity surrounding Hiro but still letting fans know that his little brother has his full support.

#reply #my first story #maifasu #マイファス #hiroki moriuchi #takahiro moriuchi #one ok rock

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antihero-writings · 6 years ago

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The Things We Say Aloud—Pandora Hearts Fic for Phmonth18 Rainsworth Trio Week—Prompt 2: Family (Full Fic)

Fic Title: The Things We Say Aloud

Fic Synopsis: The Rainsworth Trio has a tradition of midnight snowball fights. But what if this is Break’s last?

Notes: This is another fic I wrote last Christmas (for the prompt “Rain”), but I think will work well for Phmonth18. I think it works best for the Rainsworth Trio Prompt 2: Family. You don’t have to have read the previous Christmas fic to understand it, but they are supposed to take place in the same year, and there are a few connections/references between them. (The other one is called “In Plain Sight” and you can read it on this blog, and/or at I_prefer_the_term_antihero ‘s Ao3!)

Out of all the PH fics I’ve written so far, this is honestly probably my favorite. I would deeply appreciate it if you commented to let me know you enjoyed it!

I feel like the Rainsworth Trio–especially Sharon and Break–don’t really talk about Break’s death, even though they know it’s coming. I thought it would be interesting to explore how such a conversation would go, and almost made myself cry writing it!

Also, point of interest, a song that I think works really well for the section of this fic where Break is pondering if it will be his last Christmas is “Into the Open Air” from the Brave soundtrack.

P.S. This is a repost of an old fic!

Fic:

Rain pounded its tune on the roof. It was the kind of rain that swarms the air, making it misty, grey, and cold with the buzzing of a thousand tiny drops.

It wasn’t that he disliked the rain. There will always be something about the rain that’s soothing to people dealing with sorrow. But rain like this; that pounds, and pounds, and doesn’t dissipate, sometimes serves to extend the mistiness inside too. Though it could be a rest, a relief, people like him always pray for the sun to come back. For sunny days and summer light were something people like him, with red eyes, and a past full of sin, knew they didn’t deserve, but couldn’t help seeking all the same.

Xerxes Break walked through the hallway of the Rainsworth manor. He wore his turquoise and gold outfit, half of his white hair falling across his shoulder, the other, shorter side, messily added to the covering the bandages provided—bandages over the place where his left eye should have been, though it rarely bled anymore.

As he passed by one of the rooms, he saw Sharon. She looked so small, but so regal, sitting on the windowsill, with her back to the glass, now frosted with condensation. Her chestnut hair was pulled back with a ribbon, and she was wearing her little pink dress. The little girl was pouting, staring at the ground, her arms folded over her chest in the characteristic expression children wear when they don’t get their way.

He paused, resting his hand on the doorframe.

She lifted her head.

When she met his eyes, he remembered very quickly that was not in his skill set to comfort little girls.

When he glanced back, she was giving him a look that said Well? Aren’t you going to come comfort me?

He knew better than to disobey such a look. He took a deep breath and walked in, hopping up on the windowsill next to her.

Like the rain, it wasn’t that he disliked kids, he just didn’t know how to deal with them. When they cried and threw tantrums…in short, he didn’t know how to deal with emotion (well, strong ones anyways). He couldn’t help hoping that kids like her could stay happy, and innocent forever. Like he had hoped for his young mistress from another time, and seen it go so very wrong, then later heard, through his own interference, that he had made it go far worse. But children would have to get hurt, they would have to grow up, some day. And in turn, they would become the kinds of creatures who hurt, and caused pain, who even killed, and made excuses for it…creatures like himself.

Luckily, he found that Sharon was a much happier, much kinder, much stronger child than most.

When she didn’t speak—(he didn’t dare ask, for fear of making it worse)—he turned to look outside the window.

“Xerx-niisan,” she began at last, “Why is the sky crying?”

He turned back to her, raising an eyebrow. “Huh?”

They weren’t siblings; they weren’t even remotely related. But for some reason, the name fixed itself in her mouth, and nothing he did or said could change that.

She could be a little tyrant sometimes.

At his misunderstanding, she continued to pout, averting her eyes. Then she jerked back to look at him, (he flinched a little), and said in a high pitched voice, “It’s almost Christmas! Why is it raining? It should be snowing!”

“Oh,” he relaxed a little, contemplating his response, “Well…it’s not going to stop raining just because you want it to. Sometimes,” he gave a sardonic smile that was more painful than the frown that seemed fixed on his face, looking away into the rain, as if he would find answers reading the drops, “things…people…that should be happy, just can’t be. And no matter how much you want something…”

He trailed off, and when he turned back, he saw tears welling in her eyes.

Nice going, Xerxes, you barely have to open your mouth to make a little girl cry.

There they were, brimming to the surface: all those emotions he didn’t know what to do with. He could only sit there, waiting for her own brand of rain to start, wanting more than anything to escape, to not have to figure out the right words to fix her.

It was the crying he hated the most. Maybe it was because it reminded him too much of a certain day, long ago, of a certain girl…but the snow did fall that day…

Still, he wasn’t going to tell her that if she just wished hard enough, if she believed in hope, the-general-goodness-of-the-world-and-its-inhabitants, and maybe a little bit of magic, that the snow would fall, that she could change things. Wishes were dangerous things, and he didn’t suggest anyone make them. You never know who, or what, might be listening.

Fortunately, before the tears reached her cheeks, Sharon’s mother, Shelly Rainsworth, appeared at the doorway. She looked almost exactly like an older version of her daughter, the same chestnut hair, the same smile that shined with a light of its own.

Upon seeing the tearful look on her daughter’s face, she marched into the room, put her hands on her hips, and turned to Break.

“Xerxes,” she said his name like he really was Sharon’s brother, “what did you say to her?”

“Why do you assume it was my fault, Shelly-sama?” he muttered, sounding like the child she was calling out.

“Let’s just say you have a habit of stepping on people’s feelings.”

He sighed. “I was only telling her that it won’t start snowing simply because she wants it to.”

“It’s almost Christmas, mother!” Sharon said like she was pleading her case, the tears reappearing in her eyes.

Shelly smiled, shaking her head.

“What am I going to do with you two?” she crouched down in front of Sharon, and paused, contemplating her own question for a moment. “Tell you what, sweetie; I can’t promise it’ll start snowing because you want it to, but I can promise this:” she pushed her daughter’s tears away, “The moment it starts snowing—or, I suppose,” she interrupted herself, “the moment there’s enough snow on the ground, but no later!—we’ll go outside, and have a snowball fight. How does that sound?”

“Really?” Sharon raised her head, the sadness lifting a little.

“Even if I’m busy, or it starts snowing in the middle of the night,” Shelly elaborated, grinning, “No, especially, if it’s in the middle of the night,” she placed a finger on Sharon’s nose, at which the little girl giggled, “I’ll wake you up—or you me—then, while everyone else is asleep, we’ll run around the house in just our pajamas and coats, we’ll wake Xerxes—”

“What?!” Break blurted out.

“Yes, we’ll wake Xerxes,” she repeated smirking, “drag him outside—”

“Do I get a say in this?!”

“Nope,” she grinned mischievously, “Don’t think I’m letting you get out of this one.”

“Tch.” He looked away.

She walked calmly to the couch, picked up one of the pillows, as if she was going to fluff it, brought it over to them, and smacked him with it.

He growled, his red eye starting to blaze, like some caged beast.

She threw the pillow back onto the couch, sighing, saying seriously, “I don’t want you sitting here on this windowsill forever…I know, somewhere inside you, there’s someone…” she pondered it, then smiled, saying simply, “Someone who’s not afraid. You’re stronger than you think. Deep down, I think, these sorts of things that seem childish, like snowball fights, and tea-parties,” she smirked, “fun things, you actually enjoy.”

He looked away, as if knowing he could only disappoint her.

She added softly, placing a finger on his chin, making him look at her,

“We’ll see that smile someday, Xerxes Break.”

He stared at her as she took her fingers away, then he blinked, averting his eyes again. murmuring something about, “Really, Shelly-sama…I’d just ruin—”

“Sharon,” Shelly interrupted his mutterings, turning to her daughter, “Do you think Xerxes should sit here sulking, day in and day out, or do you think he should join our snowball fight?”

“Xerx-niisan should come with us!” she didn’t even take a breath before she answered.

He stared into the little girl’s eyes, so full of hope, no question, no hesitation, just…kindness, endless kindness.

Shelly smiled at her daughter, which turned into devious smirk when she looked at him.

“Checkmate.”

He bit his lip before jumping back down to the ground, muttering incoherently his displeasure, knowing once they were set, he couldn’t change their minds.

They could be tyrants sometimes.

Most people wouldn’t have gone near him, much less want him to be a part of something…well, fun. He knew what people said about him. It didn’t matter, it had been a long time since he had cared what other people thought, plus, he more than welcomed the lack of company. But, the thing is, he knew they were right; he was creepy, and dark, and very, very dangerous. So, he too, often wondered why they had taken him in, why they treated him like something worth saving, worth dragging out of bed for snowball fights, and tea-parties, rather than being sure, like rest of the world was—like he was—that he would just darken everything with any amount of light in it.

That’s what Children of Misfortune were for, right?

A little girl, who should have been more scared of him than anyone, who should’ve wanted him as far away from her and her snowball fights than anyone, could not only go near him, but fail to hesitate as she bounded up to this dark-and-dangerous man, looked into that blood-red eye, and asked him why the sky was crying, gave him flowers, and called him “brother.”

And that was worth more to him than he would ever dare admit aloud.

*****

It was from nightmares about knights, and blood, little girls, dolls, and names that he never mentioned, that Xerxes Break awoke from.

Breath and heartbeat weighed heavily on his chest. Once the memories faded enough for him to remember that, though it may have been real, it was not now, he gritted his teeth together, slamming his fist into the wall behind him. He didn’t care how much pain was pulsating through his hand.

If only it would take his mind off the throbbing in his empty eye socket.

If he had been a weaker man, perhaps he would have screamed, even cried, perhaps he would have whispered something pitifully to the sheets about not wanting to remember again, not wanting nightmares like this one to show their faces in his head. But he had already made a wish, and these nightmares were its descendants. He didn’t have the authority to dream anymore.

All he had was the anger and regret surging through his body, and nowhere for it to go, except make his past a weapon that shattered him just as much as it did his enemies, into glass shards, and cold bones, and bloodstained roles.

Still, there was some part of him that hoped after so many years they would have stopped haunting him. And sure, maybe it wasn’t every night, but they did come. Perhaps that’s why they call them ghosts; There were too many horrors to be reminded of, too many sins to feel guilty for, too little he could do to fix it, and the nightmares were all too eager for the task. One lifetime was not enough for them to let him forget.

They say ‘there’s no rest for the wicked’, and his mind was often cruel enough to remind him.

When he raised his gaze, he saw that the curtain was open just slightly, and something in the sliver of window flickered.

The Mad Hatter sighed, throwing his legs over the side of the bed.

It was awfully cold.

He stepped up to the window, gently pulling back the curtain, just enough so he could see.

He drew in a breath softly, his eye widening at the view:

It was snowing.

There was enough moonlight to see flakes falling upon the grounds—which were cloaked in white by now.

Like that time years ago, for the whole month, the only thing that fell from the clouds was rain, and finally, the sky decided that Christmas Eve was no time to be laying in bed, sleeping, or else dreaming about past follies.

“Well, Shelly-sama, what do you think?” he spoke softly to the merciful sky, “One last snowball fight?” he paused a moment, turning, leaning against the window, as if waiting for an answer to be whispered in his ear.

He stepped over to his wardrobe, throwing a coat over his pajamas, taking up some winter gloves, putting on socks and boots, and, as always, placing Emily on his shoulder (she wouldn’t want to miss this).

Lighting the candelabra on his nightstand, he ventured into the hallway, making his way toward Sharon’s bedroom.

Opening the door as quietly as he could, he walked in, setting the light on her nightstand.

Sharon was sleeping soundly on her curtained bed, her hair splayed all over the sheets, wrinkled in the night’s sleep, and she hugged her pillow.

He resisted the urge to laugh at her un-proper appearance.

Break sat on the side of her bed, by her head, saying quietly,

“Ojousama.”

She stirred in her sleep, muttering something indecipherable.

He gently ran his hand through her hair, saying louder, “Sharon.”

She blinked open fuchsia eyes to see her servant.

“Break,” she muttered his name softly.

Slowly, she sat up, yawning, looking around.

“Break, what’re you…?” she began, fatigue weighing down her words, then shook it away by shaking her head, “What are you doing in my room?! In the middle of the night! How dare you wake me up!”

He knew what was coming next: she grabbed one of the pillows, and he dodged it before she hit him with it. “Do you think you can just come in here as you please?!”

“Really, Ojousama,” he laughed, standing back up, “You think I’d risk injury without good reason?”

She folded her arms over her chest, pouting. He walked over to the window, throwing open the curtain, standing beside it.

“This better not be one of your pranks, Break,” she muttered, walking over to the window.

“Relax. When have I ever been that cruel?”

She glared at him, as if to say I-could-name-a-few-times, then turned to the window, surveying the landscape outside.

Her aggravated expression broke for widened eyes and a smile.

“Break!” she exclaimed, all grievance forgotten, grabbing his hands and spinning him around, “It’s snowing!!” she let go of him, and jumped up on the bed, repeating, “It’s snowing!! It’s snowing!!”

He smirked, folding his arms over his chest; No matter how old she really was, she still looked like that little kid to him.

“What do you say?” he helped her down from the bed, “One last snowball fight?”

“What are you talking about ‘one last’?” she grabbed the pillow and managed to catch him off guard this time. “You better not be talking about that again!”

She didn’t wait for him to respond as she dropped the pillow and ran over to her wardrobe, found a little coat to throw over her nightshirt, boots, and gloves, then handed him a ribbon to tie her hair back.

“Ready?” he tapped her on the shoulder when he had finished tying her hair.

She nodded, beaming.

They weren’t too far from Reim’s room when Break asked her to hold the candelabra, and stepped down the stairs to the front door.

“Where are you going?” she asked, “Reim’s room is this way.”

“This will only take a moment,” he grinned.

She put her hand on her hip, scowling at him as he ran out the front door. Quickly he returned, with the first snowball in his gloved hand.

“Break! Just what are you intending to do with that?!”

“You’ll see!” said Emily.

Sharon sighed, placing her head in her hand.

Reim stayed at the Rainsworth’s often enough that he had his own room (albeit, not a very fancy one). They quietly entered it to see the servant laying on a bed, much neater than either of theirs, facing away from them. His glasses, and some extra paperwork he just couldn’t leave at work, lay dormant on his nightstand.

Break tiptoed up to his friend, gently pulled back the collar of his shirt, and stuffed a snowball down the back of his shirt.

It was a moment before it took effect, but when it did, Reim skyrocketed out of bed, dancing around, until the snow fell onto the floor.

Break could barely contain his laughter.

He rested his hands on his knees panting. When he regained his bearings enough to figure out what had just happened, and saw Break laughing, he shouted,

“XERXES, YOU BASTARD!!”

Reim lunged at Break, at which the older man only needed to step out of the way, to make Reim trip onto the floor.

“Yes, a tired Reim-san, without his glasses, is definitely a match for me,” he remarked, leaning over him,

“A normal Reim-san isn’t exactly a match either!” Emily squeaked.

“Now, now Emily,” Break chided his doll playfully, “we mustn’t rub this sort of thing in people’s faces.”

“I’m gonna kill you,” Reim’s voice was muffled by the floor

Break laughed, “Is that so?”

“All in good fun!” Emily chirped.

“It’s not fun for me!” he retorted, sitting up, “How can your idea of fun be tormenting your best friend!” Reim got up off the floor and sat on his bed.

“Come now, Reim-san, ‘torment’ is a little harsh, don’t you think?”

“I meant what I said! I mean, who in their right mind thinks a good way to wake their friend up is to stuff freezing-cold snow—”

He interrupted himself, looking at each of them with question in his eyes. He repeated the word, “Snow…?”

Sharon and Break grinned at each other.

Break helped his friend up, saying, “And whoever said I was in my right mind? Didn’t you know? All the best people are mad.”

Reim rolled his eyes.

Sharon and Break stepped up to the window to unveil the answer to his question. Reim followed to inspect the view outside.

Then he looked at each of them, shaking his head and smiling. “Really, you two, after all these years…”

He trailed off, going over to his wardrobe to put on the winter clothes he kept there.

They barely had time to blow out the candles before Sharon grabbed both their hands and dragged them out into the moonlit hall.

They were like little kids trying to get a peek at Santa; bumbling down the hall, almost falling over each other, shushing each other, as they made their way through the manor, down the stairs, out the front door, into the cold grounds.

Even with their winter clothing, the cold still crept in. The snow muffled ordinary sounds, falling seamlessly, sparks of scattered moonlight gleaming off the flakes.

“So, we’ll—” Reim was interrupted by Break throwing a snowball at the back of his head.

“Oy! I was talking!” he whirled around.

“What’s there to talk about, Reim-san?” Break tossed another snowball up and down in his hand.

“I was simply—”

This time it was Sharon who threw the snowball at his face.

“Nice shot, Ojousama,” Break mentioned.

“Thank you,” she grinned, “You’re next, Xerx-niisan.”

“Alright, you two are going down,” Reim challenged.

“That’s more like,” Break smirked.

It didn’t make sense that three adults could have so much fun doing something so childish as playing in the snow. But between exploding snow and shouting, their laughter was what radiated like light from the scene. Maybe they forgot they weren’t children, they forgot that they had grown up things to do, responsibilities to attend to, and that the world was really comprised of blood and pain, and worthless names, not innocence and friendship.

The mad tea party, forever trapped in a moment, forgotten by time.

It was a while later when another voice broke through:

“Hey, what are you guys doing?”

They paused, turning to see Oz at one of the balconies.

“Our humblest apologies, Oz-sama!” Reim shouted back, bowing low, “We didn’t intend to be so loud!”

“No worries!” he yawned, “Are you…having a snowball fight?”

“That’s right, Oz-kun,” Break answered, “Would you like to join us?”

“Really?! You’ll let me?!”

“Sure,” he tossed a snowball up and down in his hand again, “but we certainly won’t be going easy on you!”

Oz beamed. “Hang on a sec! Lemme grab Gil and Alice!”

Not long afterwards, they heard the all-too-familiar sounds of Gilbert and Alice shouting, and they their annoyed faces appeared on the balcony.

“Why are you three having a snowball fight at 6:00 in the morning!” Gilbert yelled down to them.

“Oh? You scared you didn’t make the cut?” Break taunted . “Clown! Is this your doing?!” Alice demanded, “I’ll come down there and make you pay for waking me up!”

As Break spoke to them, Reim saw it as an opportunity to get his own revenge, and snuck up behind him. Break, of course, still heard him coming and, once again, tripped him, as he got close.

Break walked around him in a circle, grinning shaking his head, “You’re going to have to try harder than that to beat me.”

Reim gave an expression akin to Gilbert’s evil eye.

Break kicked some snow onto his head as he walked by, just to rub it his face (quite literally).

Oz, Gilbert, and Alice tumbled down the front steps, already laughing and yelling at each other before they even joined the fight.

“Well look who it is,” Break taunted, leaning over them, then Emily continued,

“The dumb bunny, the spoiled brat, and—” he didn’t get to finish, because the two lunged at him.

There weren’t really any teams, or way of keeping score—it was everyone against everyone else, though each of them had their own approach: Gilbert had a more meticulous method; creating a stash of snowballs, and walls to hide behind, (often getting hit in the building process). Oz was would sneak up on people, and took particular pleasure in knocking down, or stealing, Gil’s hard work, while Alice ran around pelting everyone in sight, holding a particular grudge against anyone who landed a hit on her (who were mostly Break and Oz).

Near the end of their fight, as Break snuck up on Sharon, just about to land a hit on her, he found himself falling, and was then somehow on the other side of the yard,

He paused to regain his bearings, and stood back up to his full height, quickly discerning what had happened.

“Is that really fair, Ojousama?” he called across the yard, knowing she had used her Chain.

She chuckled like it was a trivial offense, “Since when have you cared what’s fair Xerx-niisan?”

Well, she got me there.

It was at this moment he felt a rush of cold! against his neck, and tensed, resisting the urge to spill some choice words. He spun around to see that Reim had been waiting behind a nearby tree and, as he addressed his mistress, Reim had managed to get the perfect revenge.

Break pulled back his shirt to make sure the snow fell, scowling at his friend.

“Say it,” Reim folded his arms over his chest.

“What? That you got me?”

Reim’s expression was unmoving.

“I’ll say nothing of the sort, Reim-san,” he flicked his glasses, “After all, you merely copied me. You should be more creative next time.”

Reim’s fingers curled into fists, practically growling at him.

“I didn’t know we could use Chains!” Oz called, running up to them, having noticed Sharon’s expert use of Eques, (but not the following exchange between Break and Reim.)

“Seaweed-head! Release my limiter!” Alice shouted when she heard, “I want to smash the clowny bastard to smithereens!”

“Is that so?” Break called, “You really want to go down that path, Alice-kun?” Break smirked evilly, “My Mad Hatter would destroy you before Gilbert-kun even had the chance.”

“You wanna go, clown!” Alice hollered, and Gilbert had to hold her back to keep her from rushing at him with teeth and claws.

Reim looked worried, and Oz—wearing a similar expression—spoke in hushed tones, “No, Alice! You don’t want to go up against his Mad Hatter!”

“Try me, Manservant!”

“Break! No one wants to see you killing yourself over some stupid fight with some little girl!” Gilbert scolded.

“Oy! Who you callin’ ‘some little girl’?!” Alice snapped at Gilbert.

That seemed to return Reim to his senses,

“That’s right!” Reim scolded, “What did I tell you about being reckless with your powers?!”

“Always so tense, you two,” he walked up to Alice and ruffled her hair, “I’m only teasing.”

Alice broke free, and the fight resumed, though the others were glad to see neither managed to draw blood, and that it quickly returned to the antics of the snowy game.

And for one brief moment, Break forgot about everything else. About the nightmares, the regrets, and the answers he clung to so desperately as a reason to keep himself from falling further. And for one moment, he could see those flickering lights behind dark eyes, and he was happy he could feel the cold biting his skin, he was happy he could see their faces—rosy-cheeked, all smiles and laughs, even if they were yelling at him—for one precious flicker of a moment, he was happy to be alive.

That moment would end. The shadows would crawl back from the corners of his mind, the smiles would become fake again, the world would become a wax museum of happiness. Reasons that were just that, empty reasons; desire had left them behind in an alleyway long ago, for better, darker wishes. The pain would come back, and once again he’d convince himself, I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care about them. About what happens to me. The snow white chaos would return to tears too fast. But in this moment, it was okay. He was okay.

Sharon and Reim ran at him, but instead of getting out of the way, this time he let them bowl him over, the three of them collapsing in the snow.

Shock flitted across their faces, which broke for smiles.

He wanted to say he was sorry. He wanted to tell them over and over I love you both so very much. But he wasn’t the only one who knew that those words falling from Xerxes Break’s lips was all too close to admitting defeat. Because if he admitted he cared, then he wouldn’t be able to let them go when the end came. And he knew it would come all too soon. His lips wouldn’t dare betray him with such miserable words.

So they settled for a smile.

His real smile. Not the smirks and grins he gave away at a moment’s notice. The smile that was barely perceptible, but which, for them, captured within its folds more sunlight than anything else in their world.

Sharon and Reim glanced at each other, then smiled back at him, deciding not to sully the moment with words.

And, as soon as it came, the true smile was replaced with a smirk.

“You two really are gullible,” he put snow in their hair.

They jumped up, shouting his name, trying to rub it out, then quickly ran after him.

He couldn’t tell them the truth. He couldn’t tell them that he was thinking how this might be his last Christmas. He couldn’t tell them how he was wondering if they would still put his stocking on the mantelpiece when he was gone.

He didn’t get a chance to anyways, because it wasn’t long afterwards when beads of citrus and crimson light began tracing the navy sky.

They paused, panting, raising their eyes to look into the sunrise.

For a moment they stared silently at the art the morning made of daybreak, gentle smiles tracing their lips at the beauty.

Then Oz broke in, exclaiming,

“Merry Christmas, everyone!”

“Merry Christmas!” they answered, a little tiredly.

“What do you guys think?” Reim asked, “Ready to go inside?”

“Aww, but we were having so much fun!” Oz protested, trying to mask the fatigue in his voice.

“Easy for you to say, we’re exhausted!”

“To be fair, we were out here much longer than them,” Break panted, realizing just how tired he was. “Perhaps I have gotten old after all. If you youngin’s want to go on—” he flapped a shirt sleeve their direction.

“There he goes again calling himself old!”

Sharon broke in, “Don’t you want to open presents?”

“Presents?!” Oz repeated, like a dog who had seen a squirrel, glancing at Gilbert and Alice, his grin widening.

They began to make their way inside, still laughing and talking about the plays they each had made, and how they would eventually get each other back. As they walked back, instead of joining the conversation, Sharon gently tugged on the corner of Break’s coat, holding him back.

He turned to see that instead of the tired, but joy-full smile that had traced her face moments earlier, she was hanging her head low.

“Ojousama?” he asked worriedly, crouching down beside her, seeing tears begin to grace her cheeks.

The others noticed, and stopped too.

“Xerxes! What did you do?!” Reim demanded.

“Yeah, Break! How dare you make a girl cry on Christmas?!” Oz questioned, running up to her.

He rolled his eyes at them.

“I’m fine, everyone,” Sharon reassured them, giving a somewhat plastered smile, “I’ll just be a moment.”

They all glanced at each other, knowing something was clearly wrong.

“Are you sure?” Gilbert asked.

“Yeah, Sharon-chan, if you need something—”

“Yes. Please, go inside. Break and I will catch up with you.”

They glanced at each other.

“Alright, Sharon-chan. Just let us know if you need anything, okay?” Oz put a hand on her shoulder.

“Thank you, Oz-sama,” she smiled.

The others gave similar smiles back to her, then they gave Break a collective you-better-not-make-this-worse look before walking up the stairs into the manor.

“Sharon?” he asked softly.

No matter how many years went by, he still couldn’t handle the sight of a child in tears.

“Xerx-niisan,” he could tell she was fighting back against the tears, “What if… What if this is your last Christmas?”

He gasped; he didn’t expect her to be thinking about the same thing.

“What if…” she continued, breath taut, “What if we never get to have another snowball fight? What if…?”

“Well,” he rubbed his neck, looking away, “you and Reim can still—”

“Don’t act like everything will be the same when you’re gone!” she threw snow into his face.

He fell back onto his elbows, gently brushing it out of his hair. After a moment a laugh bubbled in his throat, and he put his hand on his face.

“What’s so funny?!” she demanded, scowling.

Obviously that was the wrong thing to do.

If only she had chosen someone else to comfort her; someone like Oz, who could read the situation, and chose his words carefully. Or Gilbert, who was sensitive enough to understand. Even Reim would be better, despite his rather unemotional, straightforward nature. But she had chosen him.

“It’s funny…to tell you the truth,” his voice became more serious, “It’s just…I was thinking about the same thing.”

Shock added to the concoction of hurt and yearning in her eyes.

“Y-You were?”

He looked at the ground and nodded ever so slightly.

“How dare you laugh at that?” she balled a fist in the snow, but the strength seemed to leave her.

She shook her head, tears fluttering back to her eyes, “You can’t…Xerx-niisan, you can’t! I…I don’t want to be alone!” she put her arms around him and fell onto him.

His eye was wide, his breath harsh and cold as he looked at the girl in his arms, forgetting for a less than a moment that she was not that little girl in a darkened room, surrounded by coffins.

He shook his head of the memory.

“You won’t be alone, you’ll have Reim, and Sheryl-sama, and—”

She lifted her head to scowl at him, as if to say must-I-repeat-what-I-said and he cleared his throat, changing his method of attack.

“Well, I won’t go down easy, that’s for sure. But, despite how it might seem,” he gently ran his finger along her cheek, giving that sad but true smile, and whispered, “I am not that strong.”

“You think you can talking about you dying all the time and I’ll just—?!” she tried to fight back, to be angry, but her words fell like the snow, and she murmured again, she let her head fall back onto his shoulder, and whispered back, “Xerx-niisan…”

He gently wrapped his own arms around her.

“I want to be there for you…” she murmured, “I don’t want you to do something stupid…You’re always running into fights without a second thought…” she sobbed for a moment before saying, “Maybe we could…maybe we could stop it? I-I could go into the fights with Eques…Oz-sama and Gilbert-sama—”

He pressed a kiss into her hair, and as she lifted her head off his shoulder to look at him with the wide and teary eyes of her younger self. The look in his eyes was enough to say I’m sorry, Sharon.

“It’s just like I told you, Ojousama,” he ran his fingers through her hair, and murmured into her ear, “No matter how much I may want it to, I can’t stop it from raining.”

She lifted her head off his shoulder to look at him.

“No matter how much we might want it to, we can make the snow fall. Our wishes can’t change things. Even if…” his words were blown by the wind into the stars.

She shook her head gently, murmuring that name.

“Just promise me you won’t make any illegal contracts to bring me back,” he laughed a little, which turned into a grimace, and she knew just how serious he was being.

She smiled for the first time since the conversation started. “I promise.”

For a moment they sat there, together, in a sort of limbo, watching as the sunrise turned into a light blue sky—a present sorrow caught between the earlier joy, wondering which emotion of the two would soon come. Moments were so finicky.

“I can’t promise I’ll have another Christmas, but we still have today. Let’s not waste it with talking about depressing things.”

She nodded, smiling.

He gently reached down and picked her up.

“Xerx-niisan!” she protested at first.

He touched her nose with his finger.

After a moment, as he took her inside, she rested her head against him sleepily, murmuring, “Xerx-niisan, I don’t want…I don’t want you to pretend you’re okay for my sake.”

His eye widened and he jerked his head to look at her.

“Don’t give me that look,” she responded, “I know you do it. You think I can’t handle it.”

He took a deep breath, “I’m fine, Ojousama,” he murmured, and smiled, “It’s Christmas, after all.”

She shook her head, “No you’re not!”

Once again he kissed her head gave her his real smile, “No, really, Sharon. I am. At least for today.”

The smile she returned was real too.

And that was worth far more to them than either of them needed to say aloud.

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