#also i dont know shit about gems i just gave them names i thought were cool and fitting

[chrisrin]

some more self-indulgent gemstuck doodles!

[give-grian-rights]

HERMITCRAFT 8 LIVEBLOGGING

fifteen hermits worth of liveblogging. i am losing my mind. LONG POST AHEAD.

JOE HILLS (First HC8 Video)

Mumbo did the speech. he forgot everything he was supposed to say <3

Pearl and Gemini were just .in a pit . having stuff thrown onto them

Every Hermit is staying on the same continent !!

FIRST DEATHS VERY QUICKLY, Iron Golems took out Tango and Etho (maybe more?)

Joe seems to be the only one looting the chests

Evil Jevin !!

Evil Xisuma appearance on Jevin’s 60 second video!

Pearl has something planned for an “archeticual wonder” for a resupply area upon death?

Stress, Xisuma and Joe are capturing villagers and starting up a resupply debut.

Bdubs is killed by Cleo and is now OUT FOR BLOOD

First death counts- Etho, Tango, Bdubs, Cleo?

Cleo was killed by Keralis

Joe has now supplied Cleo with weapons and food . She left but not before saying “Time to kill BDubs again!”

Gemini was killed by Bdubs! They both died and are now at spawn.

Pearl was killed by Cleo

Pearl is planning a respawn inn !!

Cleo was killed by Iskall

Cleo was killed by Pearl

False, Stress, and Gemini team up??? AA!!! they brought a delivery of supplies to Joe <3

i wish i knew what was happening on that end .

APPARENTLY XISUMA IS ONTO MAKING THE SECOND VILLAGER BREEDER ALREADY ??

Iskall is the first with Diamonds??

Breathe in that ash !

WAIT IS TANGOS EYES LIKE THAT RN BECAUSE HES TEAMED WITH KERALIS AND BDUBS ???

KERALIS, BDUBS, AND TANGO TRIED TO DO A SHAKEDOWN ON JOE. HE TRIED TO DROP LAVA, GOT HIMSELF ONTO TWO HEARTS BECAUSE HE PLACED IT ON HIMSELF, AND IS NOW SWIMMING OUT INTO THE SWAMP

the big eyed trio are now off to shake down Gemini

Joe fell in Lava in the Nether

Joe Death To Lava Two: Electric Boogaloo

Joe drowned trying to kill a glowsquid

WATCH JOE’S VIDEO OH MY GOD SEAN HILLS RECAP RAP??? MY BELOVED????? i am gonna be streaming this unironically later LIKE OH MY GOD THIS SLAPS. ALSO THE CREDITS AT TEH END IS HILARIOUS

Zedaph Episode Recap

Zed gave us a recap of the continent every Hermit will be living on !!

Wouldn’t recommend Zedaph as the first video for the season, he skips the intro/speech but it’s Zedaph and hes making it fun!! Lots of nice editing :)

~SCIENCE TIME !~

Zedaph.. why is your starter base made out of concrete ?

There are no sheeps whatsoever on his mountain

Hes calling his lab an icecream sandwich..yeah i see it

Zed tried to make a portal underater...f

Scar died to a creeper </3

Zedaphs base is gonna be tracking how long hes there/someones loading the chunk!

XISUMA LIVE BLOGGING

A cool cinema scene of him becoming an axolotl!! <3

NOW I CAN SEE IT, GRIAN WAS THE FIRST DEATH!! Death by Iron Golem!!

XIsuma’s baseplans need over 45 THOUSAND BLOCKS TO BE PLACED

He’s also planning on making a shulkershell farm!!

i’m not gonna lie ! talking axolotl X is horrifying ! thanks !

Day one Villager Breeder... chaos.

Xisuma Derp! looked straight at a buncha wool and said how badly he needed beds and then walked away

THE GIRLS CAME OVER AND CONVINCED HIM HE NEEDS TO MOVE THE DESIGN OVER MY FIVE BLOCKS FOR SWAMP VILLAGERS..

THE GIRLS ARE JUST LAUGHING AT HIM AND HIS VILLAGER TROUBLES

day one and Xisuma has got his axolotl!!

Very pretty starterbase!!

XB’s

..I’m not gonna lie theres not much to say!! He’s very calm :) he says hes going into it without a plan, and htat last season was the only time he had any thought of what he was gonna do.

He made a real nice starter house and thats about it!

Cleo’s

Bdubs: “She ain’t gonna hurt me!! i’m invincible, babey!”

Cleo learnt that BDubs will never hurt her even if she deserves it . I am starting to realize why she kills him

SHE DECIDED SHES GONNA BE A PROPER CHAOS GREMLIN THIS SEASON...

AISDJASID CLEO GOT PAID TO KILL BDUBS?? HDUIAIHSI SCAR WHY

“Alright I found my mission for the season! Murder.”

Cleo, Mumbo, Grian, and Scar are all holed up in a cave together!

..Scar died from a skeleton !

Cleo has now split from Grian and Mumbo! Scar is missing in action

CLEO FOUND A GOAT

SHES KILLING THE GOAT???

she got a HORSE <3 and Joe gave her a saddle! I think her name is..Widget?

She LOVES the candles for shamboo n waterbottles and bits n bobs for her armorstands!!

Got her Armorstand stickgod book <3

Geminitay POV

NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT!!

She has a LOVELY voice!!

The pov of her in a hole . being surrrounded . is kinda hilarious

It might’ve been Etho who was first death?? I GENUIENLY CANNOT TELL BECAUSE OF EDITING

All the murder was just for heads!

Seriously her voice is. wow

WE LOVE A QUEEN WHO KNOWS HOW TO CRAFT A SHIELD WITHOUT USING THE GUIDE <3

False, Gemini, and Stress are on the great journey for MOSS !

Gem just blew their minds with the moss.

TANGO KERALIS AND BDUBS ARE BACK Keralis: “Show the diamonds show the diamonds show the diamonds!” Gem: “Keralis. This is not how you make friends.”

The boys suecessfully recieved a diamond each

Etho n Iskall are travelling together!! You dont see those two together often

Etho got a glowsquid head!!

Gem: “Etho doesn’t share, is what i’m learning..?”

Etho hooked her with a fishing rod and said she has to do what he said .

In order to get the diamonds, Tango, Keralis, and BDubs placed down a sign saying “Gem is Great!” and Gem used a glow inksack on it.

Etho: “So..What is this? Do you have an ego, or this a motivational thing, or..?” He said, while laughing

Iskall: “I think its really funny that you have set your base up in the middle of a birch forest.” Gem: “I love birch forests! Do you not like my birch forest? Iskall: “I love it, yeah.” Gem: “This is the best biome in the game, Iskall.” Iskall: “Mmmm..” Etho: “I’m pretty sure I heard Iskall talking earlier that like, of all the biomes in the game, there was one he hated more than anything. Gem: “Oh really? And what was that one?” Iskall: “..Taiga.” Gem: “Taiga.. That’s true, thats a good one, thats a good one.” Iskall: “Don’t like Taiga.” Gem: “Mhm.” Etho: “Which one do you hate more than anyone?” Iskall: “..Diorite fields. Thats a bad one.” Etho: “Yeah thats a bad one.” Gem: “Didn’t know about that one. Well make sure to avoid’em. Birch forests are really good.” Iskall: “I’m a big fan of birch forests.” Gem: “Yeah, me too, me too. I’m glad we’re on the same page :) This is so beautiful! All the white and- and the like zebra stripes! is fantastic.” Iskall: “I..Um.. Yes.”

OH SHE’S CANADIAN,, ETHO HAS A FRIEND /j

She’s still in college :O SHE’S A SCIENTIST?? SHES WORKING AT A HOSPITAL?? POG!!

She accidentally found an enchanted golden apple in a mineshaft!! she thinks its the first she ever found in survival!!

She has a cow, sheep, and a few crop farms set up!! Her starter house has INTERRIOR!

SHE CHANGED HER SKIN AND ITS SO PRETTY AND HAS OVERALL AND I LOVE IT!!

shes doing a cottage core inspired base!

WOAHH!!! SHE MADE HTE MOST GOREGOUS CUSTOM TREE I’VE EVER SEEN ??

BDUBS IS HERE and he is so so so impressed by the tree ?!

also hes carrying a clock.. :(

He’s here with a present!

HE BROUGHT BAMBOO!

she thinks its so funny that he stops conversations to sleep AOIDHFEAUI\

SCARS

WE GOT A TRANSITION SCENE!! the canonical reason for the bed in his old village always being occupied is because underneath it, was his wizard portal!

Bdubs: “It’s a new season! You’re the little guy now!”

They are all very amused by that ^

they’re rubbing the fleece of bdubs jacket .

Bdubs: “Have a nice rub :)” PLEASEAHSIOJDIUASLDHIASDA

His starter base is gonna be a wagon and he wants the end game to be a bioshock esque skyscraper!

he confused a horse for a player . flashback to iskall thinking mumbo was a mob

PEOPLE THINK MUMBO DOESNT HAVE PANTS ON.... </3

Scar, Mumbo, and Grian.. have NO braincells. at all. THey just placed a crafting table with a boat on top with a bed on top with a boat on top .

this is what BROS FOR LIFE looks like.

BOATEM POLE !

SCAR IS STUCK UNDERGROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IRL AND HAS NO PICKAXE..

AND HE DIED TO A CREEPER .

it seems like Grian, Mumbo, and Scar are working together !!!! HOLY SHIT !!

THERES SO SO SO MANY FARMS???????

he died several times trying to catch a skeleton with a sword

FIRST CHEST MONSTER OF THE SEASON <3

SCAR JSUT TOLD BDUBS HE LOOKS LIKE OSCAR THE CROUCH... BDUBS CANNOT EVEN ARGUE

OH NO.... GRIAN WENT AFK IN A HOLE . WITHOUT A HELMET .

THEY PUT A  GLOWSQUID HEAD ON HIM

OH MY GOD MUMBO MADE A NOTEBLOCK SONG?? AJUDA

SCARS BUILTING IS SO SO SOOS GOREGOUS SERIOUSLY GO WATCH THE VIDEO OH MY GOD ITS HUGE

its a giant ass house boat wagon . its pulled by a llama . that killed him . so now its trapped, pulling hte agon, forever

Grian: “..Thats a very big house, for a very little hat.”

GRIANS SUPER SPECIAL EGG??

SCAR PUNCHED IT..

they really came out here . and killed the egg already.

Scar: “..I touched the thing”

TANGO POV

We see the three big eyed boys forming <3 they interrupted Tangos intro

THEY’RE BULLYING HIM ABOUT HAVING SMALL EYES AHIDUIASUHDWIS

HE TRIED TO CALL THE TRIO TEAM BUG EYE... THE OTHERS ARE VERY OFFENDED

they found an axolotl and Bdubs was TERRIFIED just screaming “WHAT IS THAT YELLOW THING?!”

BDUBS IS ATTACKING IT ???

okay nope Bdubs caught one and Tango lost it

Bdubs is naming his axolotl Idiot

AMAZING HOUSE. WHY IS TANGO SO GOOD AT BUILDING AND REDSTONE??

Impulse POV

MUMBO TRIED TO PLACE DOWN A BERRY BUSH TO HURT IMPULSE . HE FORGOT HOW BUSHES WORK..

I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT IMPULSE WAS IN THE BOATEM POLE

so it looks like those four are hteo nes who grouped up together

PEARL BROKE THE CONSTITUION SHE GOT IN THE WRONG BOAT SMH

THIS IS SEASON EIGHT! FIVE BROS !

So its gonna be about five people in the same area!!

YOO!! Fantasy build for Impulse!!

G gave Impulse a spyglass, they had a fun moment of zooming in on eachothers face and complimenting eachother IHAUDIHAW

Grian and Impulse worked on an xp farm!

ASHDUIWAHISD GRIAN JUST LOGGED ON INFRONT OF HIM

a pillager stole his boat . not just any pillager . the one with a banner. </3

he has to live with Mumbo tuning a song .. </3 haha

Mumbo POV

it took fifteen seconds until Grian ran in during Mumbos intro

CONFIRMED? GRIAN WAS FIRST DEATH?

SECOND PERSON TO THINK MUMBOS PANTS ARE SKIN COLOR. GRIAN..

Grian: “Can you..Briefly explain why you’re just wearing a hawaiian shirt?” Mumbo: “Uh- what do you mean ‘just wearing a hawaiin shirt? I have shorts on as-well, dude”

FOLLOWED BY

Mumbo: “Can you explain why you’re wearing a red jumper?” Grian: “You know- you know i was born with this!”

MUMBO AND GRIAN STOLE THE BOAT LOOT FROM RENDOC

I THINK RENDOC JUST STOLE THE DIAMOND MUMBO THREW??

Grian: “Is that Scar?” Mumbo: “I can’t see past your giant waffle!”

DSFSDFJIOA they did an edit where they placed down a boat, both Mumbo and Grian got in, they made noises and then bopped up on top of the ravine they were in <3

THEY HAVE NO BRAINCELL THEY JUST PLACED DOWN A BENCH AND SAID “THIS IS THE MARK OF OUR VILLAGE!” and then placed a torch and a boat and a bed and aANOTHER BED..

..Mumbo is trying to be a pacifist this season!

Grian’s taunting him with beheaded things

And obviously part of being pacifist means he’s gonna be vegetarian in minecraft!

..he cannot use monster farms because pacifisim..

Mumbo was in the middle of reading the magical Timmy shack that Tango made (did i remember to mention that? who knows) and IN THE MIDDLE OF GETTING TO THE PART ABOUT IF YOU REMOVE STUFF FROM THE CHEST, NOTHING WILL BE ADDED IN IT AGAIN. Grian opened the chest . Mumbo SHOUTED HIAUDHUW Grian jumped man

They renamed it “Cave of Do Not Enter” HIAUEDUH

Mumbo and Scar BOTH did not know- at least Mumbo didn’t, Scar forgot,  that podzol spawns from two-by-two spruce..

him and his guitar song to be played underneath his house.. it goes with the aesthetic i suppose

MAN HE NEEDS SO MUCH HAYBALES I FORGOT THATS NEEDED FOR THE TUNE HE WANTS

Mumbo: “What.. On Earth.. Scar, it’s meant to be a starterbase, buddy! What is this? This is many things, many many things, a starterbase is NOT one of them!”

HE LITERALLY DIDNT KNOW THAT THE DRAGON EGG TELEPORTS... WHEN YOU TOUCH IT...

BDUBS

nothing special we havent seen yet!! just him screaming about axolotls.

He was working in the Mesa in his intro, skipping the “speech” from Mumbo

He released Idiot the Axolotl and lost it .

Him SCREAMING “Gemini” is HILARIOUS

While Gemini gave away those three diamonds, Keralis got so excited he won a bet with Tango and Bdubs, that he gave back . two of the diamonds . and none of htem released until well after they left

Bdubs: “That’s why i have my mwoss skin!” PLEASE I LOVE THE WAY HE SAYS IT.. make the moss hood.. REAL..

it took me a while to figure out what his base is but i LOVE IT so so much!!!

Nothing much new to add !!

Stress pov

please i love her . very good !! False seems to have joined her sheerly because Stress sounded like she knew what she was doing. she does not.

False felt peerpressured and asked Stress for permission to fight her because everyone was killing eachother .

It ended up with Stress following False. they found a village!

ISKALL only saw him one other time today!!

JEVIN APPEARS AGAIN !

XISUMA FELL INTO HTE BREEDER AND IT WAS SO FUNN IUAHHYIAUSD

Ren: “Ya look goregous, Stress!” Stress: “Thanks! Don’t murder my dog!”

She’s so proud of herself for caving!! (with False n Gem

Iskall blew up!

..Iskall fell from a high place

Stress has a LOVELY ravine base!!

False

False wants to become pirates with Stress <3

gatekeep gaslight girlboss

BIG OL MUSHROOM HOUSE !!

it looks like a mushroom church and i LOVE IT.

Nothing new we didn’t see from Gem. She does want to come up with a banner design for her base, though!

Grian

..Mumbo just thought Grian had a purpose so decided to follow him <3

ALSO HIS INTRO, AS HE JOKED ABOUT IN THE OTHERS VIDEO, WAS, IN FACT, THE BOATEM POLE

Grian is SO PROUD of the fact taht they got good loot from a treasure map. Ren and Doc are NOT IMPRESSED

Grian: “Lets go, potato boy!”

Mumbo: “I don’t have to replace everything I break! Peace Love and Plants- are these plants..?” He says, mining amethyst

pants

he who controls the egg, controls the server... Grian.. you’re doing great sir

...He decided.. his goal.. is to make his OWN..caves and cliffs update... HELLO..?

Grian was the first one to kill the enderdragon, MAN. Speedrunning career WHEN? /j

Grian: “And now [Mumbo] is flexing on my bed!”

he might not have a base. but he has an egg.

It is now 2am. i cannot do this anymore. This will be continued.. tomorrow!

[rouiettes]

raya and the ugliest fucking dragon i've ever seen holy fuck who the hell thought to give a dragon fuckiNG EYEBROWS WHY WHY—

aka the musings of a filo non-binary bisexual who feels victimized by the dragon designs of this fucking movie supposedly centred around THE LAST DRAGON???? MAYBE THEY SHOULD HAVE STAYED STONE GDI WHAT THE FUCK SERIOUSLY WHY DO THE DRAGONS LOOK LIKE THAT

let's get one thing straight.

none of the characters in this movie. rest assured. not a single straight person was in this movie. trust me.

raya and the last dragon had all the foundations of a good movie

IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO GREAT

BUT IT WASNT

AND HERE'S WHY

(in my humble opinion okay pls dont come for me)

a disney movie with sea culture at its heart and soul, i was so hyped to finally watch this movie

(not as hyped as i could have been tho bc let's be honest DISNEY DID SHIT WITH RAYA'S MARKETING)

(AND PERHAPS FOR GOOD REASON LOL I SWEAR I DONT HATE THIS MOVIE OKAY)

you had the amazing score, the amazing concepts for plot and characters, the solid solid worldbuilding???

if you just told me about how raya's setting and premise, i'd probably be "wow this movie sound like the whole package"

and then i'll actually watch the movie and have just as much trust issue as raya did :/

but i digress

A DISNEY MOVIE WITH SEA CULTURE AT ITS HEART AND SOUL

do you know how diverse sea culture is??? VERY

and one thing i was very happy to see was how raya handled it

it was by no means perfect but

the subtle shows of culture in the way the characters acted, and the environment of the movie was just CHEF'S KISS

not only that but the ideas the movie had in terms of its world and the people in it felt genuine, it felt alive

a dragon that isn't the typical fire-breathing lizard

characters who look like they could easily be my neighbours or children i've played with

instead of pandering to this movie felt like an actual homage to sea cultures

and for good reason bc seeing all those familiar names rolling in the credits had me feeling some type of way :")

also that fucking soundtrack gave me chills throughout my watch of the movie

okay now that we've got the things i actually like about the movie, let's talk about what i don't like

if there's one word i could use to describe disney's raya it would be: rushed

like i said in the beginning, all the groundwork for an astounding disney movie were already there

but all of it just goes to waste bc the plot and it's characters feel so Unfinished

the movie felt like a bullet-point presentation of the story

WHICH IS SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTING BC THE CHARACTERS SEEMED SO INTERESTING but all we got were shadows of what they could have been

cardboard cutouts of the archetypes they filled

i'm not asking for a bottomless well of depth, but i at least wanted more for the cast than just: angry misunderstood princess, angry misunderstood princess with an undercut, that one dancing kid from moana but with more spice, boss baby, and the mountain

and i get that they had to sacrifice some of their depth to keep the run time of the movie short but you have got to be better than this disney

i hate to compare but it felt like this movie tried to go beyond what moana gave us, and shot so far that it ended up back to where it started, and then stumbled back a few steps

AND IM NOT EVEN SAYING A DRAGON MOVIE WITH A BIG CAST IS IMPOSSIBLE

BC IT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON DID IT THREE TIMES

and you'd think the plot for one of the few disney movies with a non-western setting would have more than just a macguffin considering how batshit sea folk tales can be

but you'd think wrong folks.

GENUINELY IT FELT LIKE THEY WERE ATTEMPTING SOMETHING BUT WERE SHORT OF BRINGING IT TO FRUITION

sure moana had a macguffin too with the heart of te fiti, but the heart itself wasn't the heart of the movie

it was the journey of moana and maui

it was that BEAUTIFUL TWIST WITH TE KA AND TE FITI

ALL DELIVERED WITH A NATURAL FINESSE THAT HAD YOU ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT

YOU WERE ALONG FOR THE RIDE OF THE STORY INSTEAD OF QUESTIONING EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON LIKE I WAS

maybe this was just me but like, i felt so bad for the friend who watched this movie with me bc all i could go on and on was how the plot felt like it was getting in the way of itself

why didn't the different kingdoms (??) kept the gem in rotation or smth, when did they decide that heart would keep it and then get mad at heart for keeping it????

why didn't awkwafina dragon just show herself to the kingdoms bc everyone seems to be in agreement that dragons good right? that they would be the key to getting rid of the druun right??? SO THEY'D ALL AT LEAST HEAR HER OUT OR SMTH RIGHT????????

and yes raya has trust issues but it seems to only spring up at the most convenient times plot-wise, we didn't really see her learn to trust other people again OTHER THAN THE TIMES WHERE SISU WOULD HAMFISTEDLY SHOVE IT DOWN OUR THROATS THAT SOME PEOPLE ARE GOOD SOMETIMES RAYA

we see it with boun, but then she just trusts noi, her monkeys, and tong THE GUY WHO STRUNG THEM UP AND WAS THREATENING TO TORTURE THEM????????

i'm gonna be honest and say that if it weren't for namaari i'd have absconded the moment sisu came on screen

as far as i'm considered the actual plot of the movie is just the entire sword fight scene between her and raya

and finally

we get to the part i will be erasing from my brain for my own mental well-being

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT DRAGON DESIGN

WHY OH WHY TH  E FUCK DOES SISU SOUND AND LOOK LIKE THAT

my friend said they looked like the ponies from mlp in 3d AND NOW I CAN NEVER UNSEE IT

THEY HAVE EYEBROWS THEY HAVE HUMAN FACES

HUMAN FACES ON MAJESTIC DRAGON BODIES

THE INTERNET HAS COLLECTIVELY DECIDED THAT SISU IS BASICALLY FURRY ELSA

every time we got a sisu close up i lost 5 years to my life

disney i am suing for damages

if you want me to drop the charges i demand raya 2: electric boogaloo but it’s just raya and namaari enemies to friends to lovers ark

and also for them to never say dragon nerds ever again

AGAIN. HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON GAVE US BEAUTIFUL DRAGON DESIGNS. HELL IF YOU WANTED MORE EASTERN LOOKING DRAGONS FUCKING SPIRITED AWAY??? HAKU??????????

AND YKNOW WHAT. SISU WOULDN'T EVEN LOOK THAT HORRIFIC IF THE MOVIE WAS IN 2D

im not the first person to be side-eying disney's decision to keep pumping out these 3d movies but like.

no amount of added dimensions could ever make that dragon design okay

and there so many more points i could go off on to show how this movie was rushed

how the other dragons, and even sisu's siblings whom she had been missing for the entire movie DIDNT MAKE A SINGLE SOUND???? NOT EVEN A FUCKING GROWL DISNEY???? DID YOU EVEN TRY WITH THE DRAGONS AT ALL??? THE SUPPOSED CENTRE OF THIS MOVIE'S PLOT?????????

HOW THE CHIEFS OF THE OTHER KINGDOMS WERE BASICALLY PLOT DEVICES????

THAT ONE CHIEF'S SKELETON WAS MORE INTERESTING THAN ANY OF THEM COMBINED ALIVE

kudos to that one granny chief though

u can never have enough bad ass old ladies

AND GOD THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS JUST FELT SO FORCED

ALONG WITH WHATEVER LESSON SISU WANTED TO IMPART ABOUT TRUST

LOVE THESE CHARACTERS THEY ARE FUNNY THEY ARE FRIENDS FOUND FAMILY

TRUST PEOPLE IF U WANT THEM TO TRUST U

TRUST PEOPLE OR ILL LITERALLY FUCKING KILL U

children aren't stupid disney. if you tell your story well enough, they'll pick up on the messages you want to give them. YOU DONT HAVE TO THRUST EVERYTHING IN OUR FACES

i was exhausted by the time i finished this movie

bc i really wanted to love it. i wanted to feel more for it than just: well, it's a movie :)

i dont hate this movie though like it's not even worth the energy for that

i think that ultimately, despite all my issues with it, this movie was a step in the right direction when it comes to having non-western stories being told by non-western people in big name productions

i'm glad raya and the last dragon exists

i just can't help but be dissapointed though bc this movie put so much effort into putting my people and culture at its forefront but at what cost???

good characters and story for a good setting and design????

does it have to be one or the other?????

DOES THE DRAGON HAVE TO HAVE EYEBROWS??????

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.

-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...

-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question

-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)

-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.

-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*

-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.

-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!

-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...

-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.

-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?

-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.

-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.

-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.

-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?

-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.

-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)

-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao

-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.

-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...

-is he....

-you know....

.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)

-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!

-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!

-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.

-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)

-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.

-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...

-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.

-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...

-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.

-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)

-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/

-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize

-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.

-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)

-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...

-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)

-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!

-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.

-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!

-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(

-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!

-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)

-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.

-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

hello hello hello!  and welcome to Season 12 of Supernatural. 

I admit that initially I STRUGGLED WITH SEASON 12.  I LOATHED the British Men of Letters (other than Lady Antonia Bevell; her hot working mom energy can get it); I have...mixed feelings about Mary; overall it was not a stellar season for me the first go-round.  HOWEVER I shall now give it a second chance,  and look for the subtext within the bad (and if my theory tracks, there will be much subtext as...there is much bad).  Maybe I’ll even develop Ketch appreciation.  **ONWARDS ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH, MY FRIENDS:

When we last left Dean, I neglected to mention that Amara brought his mom back (this is how much I repressed Mary Winchester I guess?)  We cut to Mary, confused, in a nightgown (I get this is part of the character and that’s why she is wearing it sO wE kNOw iTS rEAlLy MaRY WinCHEstEr because of her nightgown and not Sam Smith’s exquisite face, but honestly WHY - LIKE DID SHE WEAR THE DAMN THING IN HEAVEN THE ENTIRE TIME TOO?).

DEAN [breathing heavily] 

Mom. Listen to me. Your name – your name is Mary Sandra Campbell, okay? You were born December 5, 1954, to Samuel and Deanna Campbell. Your father, he bounced around a lot for, uh, work, and you bounced right along with him, and you ended up in Lawrence, Kansas.

MARY 

How do you know all that?

DEAN 

Dad told me. March 23, 1972, you walked out of a movie theater – Slaughterhouse-Five. You loved it, and you bumped into a big Marine and you knocked him flat on his ass. You were embarrassed, and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So, you went to, uh, Mulroney's and you talked and he was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that – that you met –

MARY 

John Winchester.

DEAN 

August 19, 1975, you were married... in Reno. Your idea. A few years later, I came along, then Sammy.

***DEAN DESCRIBING EVERY DAMN DETAIL OF THIS HAS MURDERED ME.  Also, I know John Winchester “told him the story,” but something about this retelling - these are NOT John Winchester’s words (other than maybe “big Marine”).  The emotions, the feelings, the “you talked and he was cute” Dean is describing is Dean’s retelling, the version he created in his mind of this damn meet-cute, this little love story he played over and over in his head, and that makes me feel warm and tingly and also want to ingest sharp knives.  

***Everyone already knows about the damn Zeppelin reference but just in case you wanted to be tortured, please recall that later on we will get

THIS FUCKING SHIT

Nothing to see here other than Dean using a reference from this LOVE STORY on Cas.  I HATE it here in super hell.  Next rounds on you, Sam.

Anyway, Mary has caught on:

I paused here just now because I had a tHoUGHt.  This season is all about exploring Dean and Sam in their role as sons (this is discussed at the SDCC panel prior to the season; btw they are all free on Prime and I recommend watching before you start each new season for little “reveals” behind some of the plot lines).  We know Sam has no relationship to Mary really, he was a baby when she died, but Dean was a little boy - with a personality, character traits, identifying characteristics that his mother probably knew like the back of her hand.  That’s why my first run-in with Mary left a bad taste in mouth during this season - LIKE THIS IS YOUR KID, and there is NO inkling or recognition until THIS moment?  In a show that just spent an entire season exploring the “unexplained connection” between Dean and GODS SISTER, there no immediate “OH” from his own mother?!

But then I realized why she only connected at this very moment.  This particular moment - and not the moment where he lists the factual details about her before the story of the night she met John.  That little story with all those cute details - that’s the part of Dean that Mary knew before she died - when that part was ALL of Dean.  Before hunting, before John’s quest for revenge turned him into the person he is today, before he saw himself as a blunt little instrument.  That’s why initially Mary has no recognition that this is her son - because the Dean she knew was sensitive, and kind, and OPEN, and liked love stories, and laughing, and warm hugs and maybe flowers. Because if you think about it WE DONT KNOW THAT DEAN.  We only know Dean AMD. (After Mary’s Death).

*****************************************************************************************************

So maybe Mary represents Dean Before Mary’s Death, and whatever part of that Dean remains, no matter how deep he has been buried.  The part that connects with people; the part that doesn’t want to be alone.  The part that helped Amara.  The part that loves Cas.  And that’s why Amara brought her back.  

*****************************************************************************************************

Ok, if I think of it this way, I may like Mary a little better now.

BUT ALSO MY BABY:

Cut to Cas.

[THE MAN WALKS OVER TO THE EDGE OF THE CRATER MADE BY THE LANDING AND SEES CASTIEL PULLING HIMSELF OUT.]

MAN 

Holy mother.

[CASTIEL STANDS UP AND LOOKS AROUND]

CASTIEL 

Where am I?

MAN

Uh...Earth?

CASTIEL 

No. How far am I from Lebanon, Kansas?

MAN 

Uh... Th-three hours, maybe. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who – What are you, man?

[CASTIEL WALKS TOWARDS THE MAN AND TOUCHES HIM ON THE FOREHEAD. THE MAN DROPS TO THE GROUND. CASTIEL LEAVES HIM THERE AS HE DRIVES OFF IN THE TRUCK]

***I spy a Season 11 random parallel

And Cas says, “Earth - 

***Also, I often wonder if in his mind’s inner GPS, Cas bases distances on how far he is from Dean. 

In the meantime, Bad Things Are Happening to Sam.

***Toni Bevell, don’t join the British Men of Letters you’re so sexy hahah

Other than noting that this is yet another too oft- repeated Sam, the Victim, Always Gets Tortured scenario, I see no point in recapping these parts.

I will just continue to post Toni Bevell hotness for these portions of the episode. Ok?  Ok.  You’re welcome.

BACK TO THE BUNKER:

I already posted this sweet baby reunion in my final Season 11 analysis/recap, but lets see it again at another angle and from Mary’s perspective CAUSE CLEARLY she has...*thoughts*

Poor Cas had no idea he was about to MEET THE PARENT 

It melts my little heart that Dean uses Cas’s full name to introduce him to people.  Especially members of his family who are trying to kill him.

Anyway, then we get a much longed for gem of typical Cas deadpan:

(*I still miss Casifer a little bit though*)

And then we have 

A MOMENT OF CONNECTION!  

At the SDCC panel, Misha specifically noted that both Mary and Cas are outsiders, so this tracks. 

They head to the garage:

[Exhaling sharply, Mary walks towards Baby. She runs her hand lightly over the car.]

MARY This was John's car. Oh, she's still beautiful.

DEAN Hell, yeah, she is.

MARY Hi, sweetheart. Remember me?

[MARY LEANS DOWN AND LOOKS INTO THE CAR SMILING. SHE STARTS LOOKING AT THE FRONT SEAT BUT HER EYES AND HER THOUGHTS LINGER ON THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LEANS DOWN LOOKING AT THE INTERIOR OF THE CAR WITH PRIDE. DEAN LOOKS AT HIS MOM AND REALIZES SHE’S HAVING VERY SPECIFIC MEMORIES OF TIME IN THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LOOKS AROUND THE CAR, AND LOOKS AT HIS MOM.]

***this is where you truly see that Sam Smith is a genius because she took those directions and put them all into THIS:

And then THIS:

DEAN 

Oh…

[MARY LOOKS UP AT DEAN. DEAN REALIZES HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN CONCEIVED IN THAT CAR, STANDS UP QUICKLY AND LOOKS OVER THE CAR. DEAN SWALLOWS HARD, AND GLANCES AT CASTIEL WHO GIVES HIM A QUIZZICAL LOOK.]

DEAN 

We should go.

***At this time I would like to remind everyone that Cas is also generally in the back seat of this car.  

MOVING ON

Meanwhile-

Back at the bunker, Cas is Continuing to Connect with his boyfriend’s mother:

[EXTERIOR DAY; INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS AND THE NOISE OF VIDEO GAMES ARE HEARD. THE CAMERA PANS TO MARY WHO’S WATCHING THE SCENE. CASTIEL IS PICKING UP COFFEE.]

CASTIEL 

Thank you.

[CASTIEL TAKES THE COFFEE TO MARY AND SITS DOWN.]

CASTIEL

This must be difficult for you. I remember my first moments on Earth. It was jarring.

MARY 

One word for it. I grew up with Hunters. I've heard of people coming back from the dead before. But to actually do it... after 30 years. A lot's changed.

[MARY LOOKS AROUND.]

MARY A lot.

Cas:

This is usually a look Reserved For Dean, so its interesting Cas is looking at Mary here [they also weirdly joked about Cas hitting on Mary at the SDCC panel and now I'm giggling because if Mary represents the soft part of Dean this all makes PERFECT SENSE).

BONUS

Actual footage of Sam in super hell

The Cas/Mary bonding worked BTW:

[INTERIOR: GREGORY IS SITTING IN FRONT OF HIS DESK WITH CASTIEL, DEAN, AND MARY STANDING BEFORE HIM.]

DEAN 

So, you dug the bullet out of his leg, no questions asked?

GREGORY 

She offered me 100 grand.

MARY 

And you took it?

GREGORY 

Student loans were a bitch, okay?

[ANGRILY CASTIEL STARTS TOWARDS GREGORY.]

DEAN 

Cas! Cas! Cas! Don't hurt him. Not yet.

**Disclosure: I do not accept the “Cass” spelling and take creative license to change it in the script whenever it appears**

GREGORY 

All right, look, she didn't give me her name. When we were done, the driver bailed, I got paid, and then some other chick shows up, and they all drive away.

MARY 

And that's everything you know?

GREGORY 

(insincerely) Yeah. Totally.

****Um, Mom that’s my boyfriend you don’t order him around like tha-

Oh, well, ok then.

***This is important, because Cas doesn’t obey anyone (other than Dean) blindly ever since he invented free will and all that.  Hence Dean’s surprised/impressed look to Mary above.  

Meanwhile:

I recall that I spent most of my first watch of Season 12 gushing over Toni Bevell, so I’m glad to know this won’t be changing.  You’ve been warned.

Next up, Sam is again sex tortured, Cas is a Helpful Boyfriend, and for some reason, Rick Springfield.  

[bibbykins]

the brunch event is here I’m excited!!! @ all MCs, what’s the sweetest fluffiest thing the guys have done for you / you’ve done with the guys? (craving some fluff today, hope you don’t mind!)

(Holy shit, this was longer than I intended but I hope you like it!) (Also this is long and I'm on mobile so I'm sorry for no read later thing here pls dont be mean to me)

Warnings: crying, PTSD, phantom pains/touches

The girls all smile at the question and decide the order they'll go in before Leopard takes a sip of her mimosa and speaks, "One day, Jin said he was taking me to go look at some clothes for an event we'd have to go to," She relaxes in her seat, fingers curling around the champagne glass gracefully, as if she's proudly told this story a million times, "Then, we pull up to a storage place and I'm like 'okay, so you're murdering me?'" She laughs in spite of knowing he's capable of murder, "He takes my hand and then takes me into a unit and in there are sketchbooks upon props and prototypes that I had ever made." She grinned at the thought, "I had started doing stage design and writing when I was 16 and my family never took home my props or anything, so I thought they were just... gone, and then here they all were." She sighed dreamily, "It just... made me feel like someone was proud of that 16 year old hurting herself on nail guns trying to build, or that 18 year old who took an hour to control a sander, it made me feel so exalted for my hard work."

Princess and Dove are already tearing up despite having heard the story before and Leopard holds their hands until they calm down, knowing they will absolutely cry when everyone is done telling their stories.

"Ah, it's my turn!" Sunshine gleams, "I'm pretty easy to make happy, like ordering my favorite food is groundbreaking to me no matter how often you do it." The girls giggle and nod at this, "But, there was one time we on our way to do our engagement photo shoot at the restaurant we had our first date, but then he pulls over and tell me he wants to show me something." She can't contain her growing smile, "And I'm confused, becuase we stop at this beautiful lake and he hates the outdoors." She chuckles at this, "But then he leads us into a beautiful field with wild flowers and a camera with a tripod." Princess has already let tears fall at this point, "And he tells me this is our engagement photoshoot, something just for us." Sunshine takes a bite of her crepe, "It was just so sweet and grounding since everything something happens with us, it's publicized, which is fine for the most part, but for him to set something up that's just for us to have, especially in nature, so sweet." The girls all giggle and coo at Sunshine.

"Oh, no! I know what story Sweet Pea is gonna say and I'm totally gonna break!" Odette grips Sunshine as the woman in question giggles.

"It's okay, I cried like a baby too." Sweet Pea giggles and she begins cutting Princess's pancakes for her like she always does, "So he was taking me to a gallery, didn't tell me for who for some reason, but you know me, I love a good exhibition." She snickered, "When we get there, I realize it's for my favorite enameler, or art jewler. He uses this beautiful etching technique and makes some stunning intaglio pieces I absolutely adore." The girls all mentally prep their tear ducts for the next part, "And so he has me meet the artist, and I'm freaking out the whole time and trying to hide it, until the artist tells me he has a piece he want to show me." She has excitement on her face just thinking about it, "And he takes me to a piece I haven't seen before and isn't with the new collection. It's an aquamarine pendant with a beautiful silver chain that had parts of a see through material interwoven. The gem was held in place with a beautiful silver trim that looks light and airy, like clouds almost, and in the pendant is this beautiful etching of a familiar skyline." Odette wipes a tear away at the speed of light, "And then Namjoon tells me it's the skyline from where we first met on that forsaken sky bridge and the silver with glass represents the steps that lead me to him." The girls coo at Sweet Pea tearing up for a moment.

"Ah, it's my turn!" Odette wipes away tears frantically, "Mine is quite simple, but it meant a lot to me." She smiles gleefully, "For background, before I majored in journalism, I was a dance major, contemporary, but I had an injury and was out of commission for too long by the time it healed. I didn't even tell Jimin until we had been dating for a couple months, I feel weird talking about it sometimes." She shrugged simply, "So I beacame his practice partner after that, which was fun, and one time we soent ages practicing thus one choreo bc he claimed he didn't want to practice with his actual partner, ever the drama queen." She giggled, "Then, the day of the showcase comes and he reveals that the dance was choreographed for me and him and it's our showcase." She held a toothy grin, "He gave me the feeling of being a dancer again, and it just felt like the closure I needed that I never got from my dancing career."

"It was a beautiful showcase." Angel nodded in agreement and Odette beamed at her praise while the other girls nod.

Dove hums as she chews her food before speaking, "So I do hand stitching, right? I don't think I'm very good..." All the women scowl at her, "But, they and Taehyung think I'm great at it and it calms me down so I make them a lot of hand stitched art or monogrammed clothing or I do commissions for their family." She smiles shyly, "So one day, Tae-Tae says he's taking me to Sweet Pea's gallery, but when we get there, it's all of my pieces up there. And the whole time people are greeting me and telling me how talented I am, asking what pieces they can buy and offering crazy prices, not that these guys would let go of my pieces." She snickered and the girls nodded proudly, "My name was in articles the next day, and he made me feel like I was someone to show off, like I was the impressive one, or impressive at all."

"Because you are impressive, hello?" Sunshine teased.

Princess has mascara streaks on her cheeks and Sweet Pea begins digging through her bag for makeuo wipes, "Uh, I'm not really good at storytelling and I'm a mess, so I'll make it quite short." She sniffled, "inhave this horrible habit of making clothes I hate and then donating them and Kook is always so dramatic when I do, like he has any business with a spring dress that would rip under his bicep." She giggles for a moment as Leopard begins wiping her cheeks, "And then he takes me to fashion week and...and..." She starts crying again and Odette coos at her, "My work, he had me on there as an up and coming designer and people were so nice to me and everytime I got overwhelmed, he took the reigns and it... my childhood dreams came true." She laid her head in Angel's lap, knowing it was her turn. The woman in question strokes the younger's hair soothingly.

Before Angel can even speak, all the girls are holding her hand or holding her and she rolls her eyes playfully, smilimg at the affection, "This why I'm going last." She giggled, "They get like this everytime I tell this story, even Leopard cries."

"Shush." Leopard, who is standing behind Angel's chair and stroking her hair quips, embarrassed, "We just care about you." She huffs.

"Well, it was a year after... the incident." Dove begins braiding Angel's hair to hide her incoming tears, "And I tried to go to work, but my body was not having it, so he stayed home with me and did everything the therapist said to grounding techniques and all, and stuff I could've done on my own, but he insisted." She smiled, "When dinner came around, I began feeling... phantom touches, pains. Like, my cheek ached and my tongue felt like it was burning, everything." Her smile was a bit sad, "It's normal with PTSD, but it doesn't make it any less frightening and none of the other grounding techniques were working, so he sits me on the counter, plays my favorite music, and begins 'treating' my wounds." Princess has her head in Angel's lap, but everyone can tell she's crying, "So for hours, he's there and showing me the clean gauze after treating my phantom wounds so delicately, and it really brought me back into the moment, that this is the man who loves me and this is where I am now." She smiles despite all the other girls being teary-eyed messes.

[blookmallow]

time for some spooky cave adventures, moths, and That Week Where I Was A Vampire 

also i realized you can wield a knife and fork like weapons 

,,,oops

i. forgot neloth had a spell on me to see my memories so he could get my info on the briar heart warriors 

while i went to do like 900 things that were not that 

this. this is like 3 years worth of memory he’s going to have to go through trying to find the one single quest he had me on im crying

this is game hours not real world hours but boy that really puts in perspective how long things are actually taking in the game world lmfao

hey neloth remember that errand you asked me to run three years ago. well I’m back 

hell yeah My Durnehviir

i kept trying to summon him mid-battle because i thought he would come help me but it turns out he just shows up to teach you dragon words. which is also cool, but like, My Dude... A Little Help Here, 

anyway remember how i had to become a vampire to get into the soul cairn. turns out you start needing blood after a while. who could have predicted this 

people actually don’t seem to be able to tell you’re a vampire on sight until you hit “blood starved vampire” levels (i assume. nobody gave me trouble and then i got a “as a blood starved vampire you are hated and feared” message after a while so i figured i better stay outta sight and managed to go undetected)

so i tried killing some bandits to eat their blood. as you do. but for some reason, this does not work. you have to steal blood like you’re pickpocketing someone who’s asleep. i dont know why this is the vampire rules but apparently, this is the vampire rules

i assumed this would kill them, and i didnt want to kill any named npcs for my newfound bloodlust, and didn’t want to go digging around crypts trying to happen upon bandits who were already asleep, so i figured nameless respawning guards were probably my best bet (i mean. i assume they respawn. is it possible to just kill every guard in a city. i dont want to try that) 

so i sneak into the guard house in. falkreath i think 

serana had resurrected a random dead vampire at some point, so it was... me, serana, and a zombie vampire who was audibly groaning at regular intervals, just sneaking around a decently lit building full of guards. here you can see that guy looking directly at me from across the room. and somehow nOBODY NOTICED ANY OF THIS. I GOT IN AND FOUND A VICTIM AND GOT MY BLOOD AND LEFT WITHOUT ANYONE NOTICING A FUCKING THING

then as it turns out, feeding on someone apparently does not kill them or even, like. wake them up. i stole some poor guard’s blood and he didn’t even budge

so while i probably could have made a living as a vampire, i still didn’t want to have to deal with this for the rest of my life, so i went seeking a method of curing my vampirism before the dawnguard could find out. the game doesn’t lead you to do this, i just decided to do it bc i didnt want them to like, attack me on sight or some shit lmao 

being a vampire is cool as shit but also i have like, a family, so i dont really want people to Know and didnt want to deal with the sunlight problem and the. y’know. needing to occasionally feed on people. so. i enjoyed my vampire trial run but all good things come to an end 

this was presented as a really dramatic choice where i must decide whether to kill someone to use their soul to save mine or continue my life as a vampire but i just. already had like 5 black soul gems. that i just found various places. like sure it’s rare to find one with a soul already in it but i have... several... already

anyway im not a vampire anymore :’) 

i sold him the elder scroll and then realized i needed it back so i had to buy it back from him which i felt TERRIBLE about to begin with, but why is my literal only dialogue option here the “fuck you I’m the arch mage” option. why couldn’t i be like “absolutely. in fact lets make it 10,000 coins bc i feel really bad about doing this to you” why do i HAVE to be rude to him. i also can’t give it back again now that the quest is done and i think its still flagged as a Quest Item so i guess i just. have an elder scroll forever now 

i am the moth priestess

really into the like... deep sea creature type things way way at the bottom of this cave

h... hm. the falmer sure know their aesthetic huh 

OHHH

the last snow elf...

or one of the last. still

yooOOOOO what is THAT 

[ absolutely just stuffs my pockets full of as many gleamblossoms as i can find ]

i think i had like 60 of them by the end of this 

i dont even do alchemy i dont need these. im just putting them all over my several houses 

Mushroom Time Again 

im SORRY it was an ACCIDENT :( 

killed this guy and tried to shove him off the cliff but he just. wouldn’t fall. hes just hanging there by one foot 

you cant really see this but i found this. underwater cavern thing just full of dead falmer corpses floating ominously in silence 

then somewhere way deep in a cavern i found this MASSIVE FUCKING BUG????????????

it. it doesn’t Do anything. its just there. its clearly alive. but it. it’s just Here. 

something about navigating way far underground and just seeing this. ungodly huge creature just There not moving not doing anything just Existing hit some weird uncanny “something is Wrong About This, this Should Not Be” corner of my brain i love this guy and i am deeply afraid of him 

MINE????? THE????? BUG???? THE BUG???? 

I DONT WANT TO MINE THE BUG. THAT SEEMS INCREDIBLY RUDE 

i dont know if it hurts it to. mine... the bug... but i didnt want to find out 

i. guess this is where shellbug armor comes from. which would be cool to have but i just dont think i can bring myself to MINE a living. creature. that is alive. and apparently harmless

[elvencantation]

aladdin 2019 liveblog

OMG THE WAY THEY GOT HIM TO SING ARABIAN NIGHTS WORKED SO WELL. also the kids are adorable. and the ship

though some of the lyric changes are… a bit too on the nose

too cute first meeting

PARKOUR

oh yes thank you for the songs give me hope. i didn’t even see mulan but i watched enough reviews that i know i dont rly wanna

jafar aint creepy enough. sorry he just isn’t

ahhh his place is so cool! with the hidden stairs and stuff. love shit like that

its not like what? were you planning to give it back?  OH it was abu that tracks

OH MY GOD IVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO HER DRESSES

also this prince is dressed so badly. wow. so gaudy

why did they add him hes so annoying go away boy

HEY STOP BEING A DICK TO JASMINE JAFAR NOBODY LIKES U ALSO UR OUTFIT IS STUPID

YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO SPEAK TO HER

can we just let rajah eat him pls

omg jasmine trying to get dahlia to pretend she’s the princess. i mean, im not sure if i quite felt the need to include her character, especially as someone trying to convince jasmine to let go of her well meaning ambition and get married

“why are you being weird” omg i love her

jasmine looks so pleased with herself while dahlia is acting so weird

just stop talking dahlia nobody expect u to talk to him just be haughty

DONT GET COCKY DUMBASS OH MY GOD

idk how i feel about jafar apparently being ‘a common thief’ once upon a time, ‘just like aladdin’. like for all we know u stole the hair thingy with magic. we know u a manipulative fuck

also like- how are we gonna handle the her not recognizing him when he’s in prince getup? like, she recognized him in weird servant getup

wait since when was the cave a lion? i thought it was a tiger…

i like how abu smacks him to get him out of gem trance XD

ok so abu already touched a bunch of treasure. and nothing happened. uhhh what

omg the carpet is adorable yes thank you

and aldadin is stepping all over the treasure. i am confusion

ooooo pretty lava!!!

omg its time for the genie!! tho i do wish they hadn’t made him literally blue. ah well. excited to see what will smith can make of it. nobody can top robin williams, but there have been other genies. there will be more (yes i mean broadway. tho i haven’t seen any broadway aladdin shows. i do love their blue outfits for the genie)

also damn i love genie’s gold tattoo/ornament thingys under the cuffs on his arms. want some for myself 

WHAT DID U DO TO ABU THATS RUDE

oh my god poor abu having to be the accompaniment. pls tell me u replace him with an orchestra genie, u rly do need one for this song

ok that was short

there we go!

oh this is fun!!!

baklava is magic and should be respected as such

ok the puppet thing is a bit creepy tho i do think they did that in the original as well

uhhh can we nix the rap pls

oh man i love his pants!!

omg the splits i cant

DONT THINK I DIDNT SEE THIS

oh ofc its genie magic that makes him unrecognizable. i mean, lying about his identity was half the plot of the movie but still im a bit sad

omg its time for the big entrance omg

oh god genie why the hat thats bigger than ur body

omg dalia’s approving little expression that was adorable

poor boy looks so uncomfortable

why is it so important that he has so many animals? is that the only way to show wealth? or just the flashiest?

“so yummy boy”???!??! i cant im laughing so hard rn

oh my god this is gonna be so awkward when he has to talk to actual royalty tho not looking forward to the second hand embarrassment

aww i do miss genie turning into weird TV personalities when talking about the animals tho

yuppp i knew it was gonna be this awkward

i cannot do this i have to turn off the volume or i will flee this tab and try to skip this scene when i come back

ok i had to scroll down, and still even reading the subtitles made me embarrassed. why am i like this

MY GOD HER PEACOCK OUTFIT IS SO BEAUTIFUL

WHY ARE YOU MAKING HIM DANCE LIKE THIS MY SECONDHAND EMBARASSMENT CANT HANDLE IT GENIE

ok finally he kinda got the hang of it. dont be fanciful genie just copy the other guys pls

bit of a weird dance tho…

oh nooo genie getting fanciful

i went from, oh this is cute to, oh no pls stop

ok now that ppl are clapping i feel less awkward. brain why u gotta do this to me. but also u rly dont have to have aladdin breakdance

ok he jumped on the fountain and this stated going back into ridiculous and why territory

and jasmine ran away. cant blame her. it makes him look kinda like an attention seeking person

awwww dalia’s little ‘excuse me for a moment’ i kinda expected her to scream but this was also cute

my god her room is so pretty. and the moment with the apples was adorable

I AM NOT TEARING UP AT A WHOLE NEW WORLD I AM NOT. I JUST HAVENT WATCHED ANY VERSION OF ALADDIN IN A LONG TIME

i just REALLY LOVE THIS SONG OK IDK WHY IM CRYING. AND THEYRE ADORABLE HELP

and the HARMONIES IVE ALWAYS LOVED THEM!!!

ughhhh he had a moment where he could’ve come clean

oh i love a dramatic near death experience

omg yes destroy the staff how lovely and yes dramatic. can u tell i like some good drama. not the weird relationship kind

ur not the same on the inside. not quite

ARE YOU KIDDING ME U DIDNT NOTICE SOMEONE STEALING FROM U

see this is what he meant by u changing. u can never forget ur past

oh i love the dark instrumental version of ‘never had a friend like me’. also the pretty sparkly magic. always love some good aesthetic cgi

OMG I KNOW THIS IS THE MOMENT FOR HER SONG AND I CANNOT WAIT OMGOGMG

OH MY GOD YES EVEN THO IM SAD NOBODY GOT TO HEAR HER SONG I DO LOVE THIS!! YES YOU KNOW ALL THESE PEOPLE YOU CARE YOU KNOW THEIR NAMES AND THEIR STORIES AND THAT MATTERS

OMG HER BABA IS SO PROUD OF HER AAAAAAA

oh that was a lovely moment. too bad jafar is a massive prick

oh this is interesting! i love a dramatic disappearance. poor guy. drowning, hypothermia, fun stuff to do within a day

love some ice parkour!

👀

WAIT U CANT KILL THE CARPET ITS AN ANIMATE OBJECT WTF THATS RUDE

the decent part of me is glad they didn’t put jasmine in a slave leia type outfit, but the gay part of me is a bit disappointed…

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS PART YES YOU MANIPULATE HIM U CLEVER BOY SLYTHERIN WOULD BE PROUD OF U. EVEN IF U DO HAVE A GRYFFINDOR HEART

omg the dark little smirk on aladdin’s face. u HAVE to admit that was hot

just loOK AT IT I HAD TO GIF IT I HAD NO CHOICE

GET YOUR OWN JAMS. that was cute

“also i want children” 😂

WAIT WAIT HOW DID I NOT PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER OMG THIS IS ADORABLE

PLS TELL ME SHE GOES TO HIS SECRET LITTLE TOWER PLACE

omg this is hilarious “stop thief, your sultan commands it” I CANNOT 😂

DID HE SERIOUSLY GET MARRIED WITHOUT EVEN A CHANGE OF OUTFIT. ah ok sorry shouldn’t have spoken so soon THEY BOTH LOOK STUNNING GOD THE OUTFITS IN THIS MOVIE WERE FUCKING GORGEOUS

i also dont mind the more “feminist” storyline they gave jasmine. it worked

[asherlockstudy]

I get that interview was HBO forced but it sounds insane when last season, he was saying Jaime needed to get away from her for good. I mean no nice post about Gwen after the last ep. I dont believe it was about not wanting to stir the hornet's nest if him and B didnt get together as he posted a huge loving one about Lena and that was a very controversial part of the plot. If hed know posted a gwen one saying"sorry JB didnt get a happy ending but here's me and Gwen in happier times" i dont get it

I think it’s very weird too…Imma analyze it. Not that I’m gonna reach any solid conclusion but I will just lay out all my thoughts.

Whatever the reason Nik doesn’t post or reply publicly to Gwen is, it has nothing to do with his personal preference for Braime or Jaime x Cersei. Even if we make the insane assumption that Nik appreciated that Jaime dumped Brienne to return to murderous Cersei and die with her without serving any purpose in the main plot (what lead actor of 8+ years would ever like being unimportant in the ending plot) and saw “pOeTRy” in it, it still doesn’t explain why he should prefer posting about Lena over Gwen. We would be naive to think he made a post about Lena and not Gwen because he prefers Cersei to Brienne. So, we still have no clear evidence of what Nik’s private thoughts and feelings are for his character after the ending. 

Here’s what we have: 

We have two interviews: one with HBO rofl and one with that journalist who collaborates with HBO and was an insider (I’m not gonna search his name) in which he stans Jaime’s choices, his love for Cersei and the tragic poetry in it all. Then we have him promoting the episodes and the documentary in his instagram and twitter, however he is entirely emotionally detached from his character and his fate. I would say he lowkey looks entertained in his weird af episode promo videos and secretly amused while filming the “thank you” video after the last episode where he says “Come on, it was great” and suggests a petition for an Arya (huh?) sequel.

We have two videos uploaded on yt with him: one is a video of a stalker in which Nik looks uncomfortable and passes the question to the random guy next to him who apparently happens to be a GOT fan, have an elaborate opinion on the last season, hate D&D and think they threw away Jaime’s beautiful character arc. What are the odds…The second is a skit in Jimmy Kimmel in which Nik drags his own character by making him stupid and clumsy, a sad little being because of his maiming and, most importantly, an unrepentant sister fucker. All of Jaime’s worst qualities displayed for laughs, plus that he’s actually a likeable but very stupid person. The skit ends with a dragon randomly burning him and his family alive and those credits

So, we have straightforward criticism towards D&D by Kimmel and NCW actually participates in it. This is what this skit means - that this level of writing, this kind of lame character and that ludicrous death is something that only Benioff and Weiss would like to produce. And, well, the Olsen sisters (although I think they’re cleverer than that). 

So, we have two videos where NCW’s intentions are dubious AT BEST. 

Then we have all the promos. When left to speak on his own, Nikolaj would say how the ending was beautiful and made sense and he once mentioned he sent a letter to thank them for this genius plot…Right. But then when asked or caught off guard (1:04): 

Nobody tries to sugarcoat it, look at the title of the video: … NCW is ‘happy’.  Then of course we have our Lady and Saviour Gwen who tries not to laugh as Nik struggles to find what to say and not just stand up and flee.

Also, this one. The best one: 

I could make a thousand gifs for this but just watch again the entire video:

0:07 - Gwen’s face when Nik says he thought the script was fantastic

1:13 - “N-no..NO!!!” when asked if he would change something in the ending and Gwen’s reaction to that. Then, our leader Gwen proceeds to mock him: “So, it’s an immaculate- It’s immaculate?” to which Nik impulsively replies: “NO!” and goes on “do you ever read a book and think you want to rewrite this?” which implies, that yes he would want to rewrite it but knows he can’t. 

(3:03 - 3:06) - VERY IMPORTANT ONE. When Gwen wondered who was closer to predicting the actual ending, Nik says “I was, yeah” and OMG look at Gwen’s face. It’s very subtle but she’s trying to communicate with her eyes a “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT” to him without being seen by the interviewer. It’s kind of a wife done with her husband’s shit look tbh, that level of subtlety. And Nik answers back with his eyes in equal subtlety and it’s like he says a “What? I truly was right lol….”. To me, this seems to mean that Nik always knew or feared that D&D would eventually destroy all his work and was eventually proven right. Unless this all is about Dany being killed by Jon but I doubt at this point Nik and Gwen cared enough to go all cryptic and eye communicating for this. No, it was about them. 

3:09 - Nik is surprised and then clearly amused at the information by the interviewer that Kit was the one who came closer with his prediction. He can’t hide his smile and says an ironic “good for him” while looking knowingly at Gwen who then says this must be a lie. This shows that it is known amongst the actors that most of them are disappointed and Kit was one of them. Both Nik and Gwen apparently knew Kit hated his ending too and would never expect this to be how the show would wrap up. BTW that writing and that backlash really got to Kit, I hope he recovers soon. But think about this, Kit went into rehab for stress and alcohol, Emilia was devastated and gave a somewhat concerning interview and Nik’s public behaviour regarding GOT is inconsistent and unpredictable. I am thus assuming the writing of the final season and the backlash fucked them up way more than they let on. 

This interview is a gem but here’s the most important part, perhaps the core of what baffles us: 

1:32 - After all the miserable no-nos poor Nik mumbles, Gwen tells Nik what we all think: “I think it’s just a question, you know? Maybe you want to answer it?”

Of course he’s in a total loss for words. Literally, he doesn’t make any sense. Some incoherent sounds come out of his mouth and that’s it. This can mean two things: either he truly thinks the ending is perfect or the ending made him such a mess that he can’t even process it verbally two years later. 

Either Gwen is much braver and Nik is extemely paranoid or Nik actually has many more restrictions in what he is allowed to say. I believe Gwen wanted Nikolaj to be as open as her about it and she still tries to make him open up but he doesn’t. In all the promos without exception, Gwen looks as if she knows Nik is full of shit and secretly agrees with her. If Gwen knows that for a fact, then we can’t argue and it’s actually what makes sense anyway. Nikolaj agrees with Gwen but is not eager to discuss it openly yet, or ever. This could be because he is very professional or because he doesn’t want to get a bad name as a “backstabber” of his projects or it might be a situation of a more sensitive nature. 

If those rumours that the S8 script was changed are true, then Nik and Lena might have had a serious breakdown with D&D and a negotiation might have taken place. For instance, Nik and Lena were really unnecessary in E6, Nik’s scene in E1 could have been eliminated as well and Lena does not appear in E3. Yes, they are big actors but paying them 1,2 million for every episode seems a tad excessive when Emilia and Kit are now famous too and have like 300% times more screentime. All this is wild speculation but maybe they stretched their appearance in the episodes as much as possible and gave them a good amount of money to agree on the butchering of their characters and their importance as former lead actors. I mean, especially Lena was downgraded to a secondary character in this season. Lena had to really fight to see her salary rise in the previous seasons. And now it’s a million for every episode? Wow. How many minutes was she staring out of the window in S8? Maybe they were silenced and payed a shitload of money to stop complaining and promote the show and praise the writing as what it was supposed to be. Maybe they payed them in order to promote Peter, Kit and Emilia for the Emmys instead, who knows. When so much money is involved, things can get frustrating in ways we don’t even fathom. This is wild and rough speculation but all I’m saying is there may be reasons Nik avoids talking freely about his character that we can’t know. 

Besides, it’s not just a Gwen problem. It is not a Gwen problem. Gwen revealed she sent a “Jaime is a fuckboi” meme to Nik privately and he answered playfully as ever (but again as if he’s in denial). They posted a story together a couple of weeks ago. Nik did not just ignore Gwen’s instagram post. Daniel Portman posted the photo and tagged Nikolaj too. Nik ignored him as well. Bryan Cogman, who Nik and Gwen owe a lot to, commented under the photo in a very sweet and emotional way. Guess what, Nik ignored him too! It’s ridiculous to think Nikolaj has stopped communicating and caring about Gwen AND Daniel AND Bryan just because his character returned to Cersei. Furthermore, the fact that they all keep tagging him shows they don’t think their relationships with him have become tense. 

That’s not it. It’s not about Gwen. The only way that Gwen is involved in all this is that she wants Nikolaj to open up so that he would give a little acknowledgement to her character and the relationship with Jaime because she feels very much for Brienne. I’m sad to say, however, that it seems to me that Nik did not take that blow more lightly than Gwen. In fact, his behaviour is more inconsistent and troubling whereas Gwen’s openness about it made her confront that sore subject more healthily after all. I start believing Nik was actually way more devastated than Gwen. At least Brienne remained a decent character, ever faithful to her ideals, ever innerly strong. Jaime was entirely trashed, let alone that he was supposed to be a main character. If Nik can’t even handle a photo that reminds him of his destroyed character arc, I wouldn’t be surprised. Maybe Gwen wants Nik to open up so much for his benefit as well - he keeps it bottled up and she might know first hand how that affects him.

Long story short, the reasons Nik doesn’t post anything about his feelings for Jaime’s character arc, his relationship with Brienne and his collaboration with Gwen probably are both professional, after begrudging deals and agreements and restrictions from HBO, and very personal, inner and private, as he’s still trying to cope with a disappointment that crushed down on him from what used to be his dream job and a role he hoped would be a (or the) peak of his career. I bet all these years Nik was hopeful Jaime would be extremely important and fully redeemed in the end but also extremely scared and anxious that the writers won’t give him what he hoped for and what made sense. Would I exaggerate if I said this should be the biggest professional disappointment he ever experienced, provided that he didn’t like the character’s ending? 

From everything Gwen has said about him, I have surmised that Nik is very emotional and anxious but with a very blasé and superficially amiable attitude. He avoids expessing emotion in real life which is why he might be dissociating a lot lately. He tries to distance himself from that part of Jaime’s character that involved Bryan and Gwen because this is the part that he loved and lost. Honestly, I can’t think of any other logical reason he ignored Gwen, Dan and Bryan one after the other and never made a post about his own character specifically or his good times with Gwen. It’s obviously not that he suddenly hates all of them to the point of not even replying. Even if HBO restricts him on what he can say in interviews for a while, there is no other explanation for this other than that D&D’s genius writing fucked him up emotionally as much as Emilia and Kit and he does not want to deal with it even though Gwen probably thinks it would be for the best if he did. 

Now after I wrote all this, imagine if Nikolaj actually doesn’t give a shit and is just happy going on with his life while I am here wasting time. But… I don’t think so. I will never not believe Nik didn’t love Jaime to pieces. He had big dreams for this role, I am sure of it. 

[badanimereviews]

summer 2019 anime sum-up

lmao i realized i never did this and posted the fall season b4 this.... oops

kimetsu no yaiba: tbh started out kinda meh. and now it’s turned into one of the new big shounens. i was not expecting that. nearing the end got rly good and i was rly looking forward to more episodes! tanjiro gets cooler and cooler! animation is rly nice (thanks ufotable) and the way tanjiro’s water is animated. like. aesthetic asf. it’s so good. i love black-haired emo dude and zenitsu (my spirit animal) and ofc nezuko she is adorable im c r y. side note: the hashira? i think they’re called? some of the ugliest fkn characters i’ve seen in ages like flame boy? stone boy? i HATE them. and the gem dude too like man get a new tattoo artist on god.... he needs it.,,,,,,and inosuke is so pretty it’s unfair

dr stone: ok man dr stone rly went off. tbh. i’ve always been a whore for chemistry since reading the flavia de luce series (btw, i want more books of) and watching this just tickles my noodle brain in a good way... who needs prozac when i get a shitton of serotonin from watching senku dick around....  (btw what is going on with what’s his face and the girl. yuzuriha????? i can’t remember. i love senku don’t get me wrong but i need their perspective too... bc i hate lion dude... so much.... dick....) again i will repeat that i am a whore for chemistry so i get oFF on this. backgrounds are amazing/ animation so nice n clean (most o the time lmao). i thought i would hate the black n white haired trickster boi and ms yellow ponytail and suika but no! dr stone is such a good show that they are now great, loveable characters. also i am senku and chrome’s whore so jfc. man, i love the explanations of all the chemistry shabang, but some things i think would be better if explained! like senku doing physical labour at the beginning- ex. making all those pots and building that shit by hisself. i know he weak af. yes he smart but like. construction? difficult. pottery? even for me the artist . difficult. and that shed of his was filled to the brim. HOW. anyways, i love this so much i am crying constantly

just realized i didnt need to write about dr stone. oh well. 

danmachi 2: wtf yo. haruhime is so pretty but not a fan of her personality! bell still cute af and still don’t rly like aiz! animation good as always, and my god i shit myself whenever the argonaut theme starts up bc that is ? one of the best pieces of non-sawano hiroyuki pieces i’ve ever heard? addicted to it. and the opening! love the dynamics, the brief ‘rain’ scenes like when mikoto slashes the raindrops and just her motion basically? as an animator that is what i aspire to accomplish because i just love that. tiny little scene. 

arifureta: this would have been so much better had they dragged out mc’s op-ifying process! made him suffer more! i explained this briefly in my ‘first thoughts’ post for this season, but story-wise and pacing-wise his power-up could have been so much more deserved and gratifying. think shield hero- loser suffers, gets angry, slowly builds up power in an epic payoff! would have been so epic too. and also if they’d made his gained powers less.... crazy nerfed. again: HE SHOULD HAVE SUFFERED MORE AND THIS WOULD HAVE MADE A BETTER SHOW. harem thoughts: yue- meh. sucky char honestly. shea- my fav girl, she is a great character don’t judge- sexy and love her personality and love her character design and love how much fanservice she gets lol. panty flash ftw. dragon girl- discount darkness honestly , tho nice design. and mermaid girl- yuck, annoying,  DO NOT like the ‘papa’ trope! (ahem sao.) it’s gross. also just fuck mc’s classmates honestly- paladin dude sucks ass, healer girl OOF that last episode ruined her, samurai girl is ok i guess. hate ai-sensei too like shut UPP annoying ass HOEEEEE (postscript: opening=very epic too)

kanata no astra: plot twist? check. trillion well-done plot twists? check. this was done very well. i am so happy. all those plot twists and turns would usually suck in any regular anime- but this was written with GODLIKE ability. thank you, lerche. legit, this was such an enjoyable ride, i eagerly awaited each new ep! typically i hate space-related stuff but like! survival stuff gets my goat.... like this was good- (tho maybe more technical-stuff in the survival theme would make it so cooler) what shocked me the most: (spoilers alert) didn’t end up hating quitterie or funi. (tho the puppet made me want to strangle smth) luca’s gender had rly confused me but i’d decided on him being a boy- so basically that reveal left me like WHOA. i died. did luca rly have to show emo boy their tity tho... kanata losing his arm gave me the yeeeks, charce being the traitor was made sO WELL into a surprise even tho i’d kinda already suspected him<- like that was just fucking amazing writing there. gj. and ares the princess! ok man! shocked! AND also the whole clone thing, just fucked me right up. up the ass. like there are probably more plot twist layers in this than a fkn ogre has.... anyway shrek aside, yun?’s character arc was very pleasing, i think that was done very well! and the ending made me UwU like BRO? goals tbh. yeah this is a hidden gem and is just so good, so well-written overall. 

cop craft: didn’t have high expectations. i am now,,, quite,,, shocked &,,, blown away. sweetheart this is a good fucking show. so why @ livechart.me DOES IT HAVE 7.40 STARS WHEN FKN ARIFURETA HAS 7.72. can someone explain this to me? i’m outraged. LIVID.  matoba and tilarna were amazing characters btw! loved their dynamic! briefly i thought it might get romantic! nope, it didn’t, so it’s all good. actions scenes were epic, tilarna’s design and outfits were so much nicer than i thought they’d be like. she is so cute. and the op- man, if that is not such a bopper vibe then idk what is. i could watch it forever. it deserves so much more than what it’s got rn.

naka no hito genome: (serious question: is this considered some sort of isekai?) genome gave me btooom vibes honestly but like- this is SO much better than btooom and most game/trap/ kinda shows. fkn BOP of an op, especially the sequence at the end with short clips of each character in action (nutt). paka-san was a good boy and he deserves irl merch. i fell in LOve with all the characters (bubble boy= hot, akatsuki= ok meh actually kinda boring, karin= hot and i want her to punch me, ruromori= beautiful 12/10 would let her stalk me, sleepy eyes boy= baby + dazai vibes and hot af, twin boy= also hot, onigasaki= hot and love him so much, and loli girl= her light grenades got annoying but nice char design) anyways yeah more of this would be epic. i wanna see sakura and her twin reunite, and how they get out basically! also animation quality was very good which is surprising considering it’s a silver link anime.

kono yo no hate de koi wo utau shoujo yu-no: i include the whole title bc this is a good anime. (also livechart.me why 7.27 stars i will fuck you up) only meh part of this is the return to earth from dela granto bc that was like a culture shock and honestly at that point i’d forgotten a lot about what had happened on earth and didn’t care as much. btw, f ayumi and f the other brown-haired oneesan. mio and kanna ftw. obvs i didn’t understand the sayless x takuya thing like dumbass horny teenager . why u gotta creampie the worst girl. u have mio. bruh. (tho mio x ‘oyabi!’ boy is a great ship) also, takuya’s mom? keiko-san? idk if you’ve noticed but that’s literally my name so yeah just glad to finally have some keiko representation. altogether goodass anime. the time travel/ rezero esque reset thing almost got me but this was done well. so no problems. both ops very good. first song was bae, second also bae (just realized it’s by konomi suzuki, one of my waifu idols, so yea nice) and ed2 also so pretty! also yu-no’s design was rly pretty, the outfit colours, and her pigtails rly suited her :)

granbelm: sorry this is the last one lol this was a long ass post! other than the fact i dont rly like mecha this was good.... action, CHARACTER designs aesthetic asf, honestly rly pretty ok. i liked the cast, very diverse and more depth than most shows of this ilk. op was nicely choreographed- especially the part where the girls’ faces are contorted by their gems, showing their magical girl side. nicely done. mangetsu didn’t end up being that bad a char, and honestly? suigetsu is best girl and deserved better. and the ending too- like, bro, that made me kinda sad. some off points: anna’s mom was a little unrealistic as a mom like woman- please learn to control your child, and, white-haired girl’s sister should have played a bigger part, based on how her parts in the opening were emphasized! (quick note- blue girl, love her, great bad guy, when she dumped anna made me so happy honestly, she is beautiful, and i couldn’t actually decide who i wanted to win between her and suigetsu....)

hope u enjoyed this bad review. pls share ur opinions w/ me on some of of these more controversial shows. thank. 

[allforthecourtt]

rereading aftg with my dumbass opinions pt. 2 (tfc chapters 6-10)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

look guys! its the highly unanticipated continuation of my reread of aftg!

chapter 6 (aka. meet this MESS of a team)

“My mother's family is French." It was a lie that probably had his British mother rolling over in her sandy grave.”

neil really never misses an opportunity to remind readers that he fucking buried his mom on the beach huh?

“A liar who practices occasional honesty. Clever. Keeps people guessing. Very effective. I would know. I do it myself, you see. Come on, then. After you.”

have i mentioned how entertaining high andrew is? because he’s funny as hell

also rereading these are fun because Nora is incredible at foreshadowing just sayin

“Neil automatically reached for his seatbelt, but one of the brothers was sitting on it.”

how neil would be in the back of the cousins’ car if they let him:

“You?" Neil said. "You can't." Andrew's smile curved wider. "Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?" "Your mother's dead. I don't think she cares what you do.”

HO HO HOLY SHIT NEIL

“Starting a fight was too out of character for who he portrayed "Neil” to be, though.”

“Consider this your official invite, you suicidal wretch. I'm bringing you to Columbia with us this Friday.”

awe suicidal wretch... glad they’re starting those pet names early

“I don't drink or dance," Neil said.

andrew: i kno u can

“Kevin doesn't dance anymore”

anymore? ANYMORE??? release the cursed events that led to him not dancing anymore Nora im begging you

“Are you bleeding anywhere?" Matt asked. "Nowhere vital," Neil said.

gskjgnsak god i stan this little asshole so much

“She said it gently, with the hint of a smile on her face, but Neil still felt the rebuke. It was subtler but somehow deadlier”

have i mentioned how gay i am for renee? because im very gay for renee

“Allison looked ready for a photo shoot with perfect platinum curls, spiked heels, and a skintight dress.”

im also gay for allison ngl

“I can move if you want to sit here," Neil said. "No, this is fine." She smiled, but it had a smug edge to it, probably because Seth was glaring at them like he could kill them with willpower alone. ”

lol remember how neil doesn’t think he’s attractive and yet in 0.1 seconds after meeting him allison is like “yes this idiot is hot enough to piss off the other idiot im dating”

“Personal favorite was when someone told the police we were running a meth lab out of the dorm," Dan said sourly. "Police raids are awesome.”

no offence dan but that’s fucking hilarious omg

that’s kind of like the time my residence floor had to get evacuated bc some kids hotboxed their dorm room

god i love uni

“The death threats were creative, though," Nicky said. "Maybe this time they'll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let's vote. I nominate Seth.”

pfffffttttt i love Nicky omg

also hahahahahah foreshadowing!

“It'll be fine," Andrew said. "I promised, didn't I? Don't you believe me?" It took a while, but at last Kevin visibly relaxed. ”

again this is why i thought they were fucking for like the better part of the first two books

“The dead look Kevin turned on Andrew today was the same look Neil saw in his reflection. When Neil stopped acting, when he stopped worrying about who was watching, when he let go of the lies that kept him alive, that was the only expression he could make.”

it’s fine i didnt need a heart anyways

this kid is 18 hes A BABY

the first time i read this i was 18 too and like jfc i was a BABY at 18 and so i neil

“One of us has to make it, Mom." It wasn't going to be Neil. It was obvious he was too stupid to survive without his mother if he let himself get into messes like this. But maybe Kevin could do it.”

sorry let me just wipe my TEARS off my fucking laptop neil honey what the fuck

“He felt distant as he watched them walk in. Maybe he was already dying, his stupid soul fading from his short body in preparation for a brutal end.”

neil we get it you have depression (me too bitch u aint special)

“Fuck running," Seth said.

now that’s a whole ass mood

“he didn't know how Renee could smile so warmly when she was speaking to Andrew.”

haha bitch just wait

“when he slept, he dreamed of his father waiting for him on the Foxhole Court.”

remember how at the end of the series his father is waiting on the court but neil wins??? god we love good storytelling

this is such a fucking wild chapter

could you imagine? coming back from the summer and your first introduction to this amateur from arizona is this neil josten level of sass? because i’d probably kill him

first years are bad enough but first years who dont care about other people’s opinions? the fucking worst

chapter 7 (aka. neil does NOT have a fun night out)

“It seemed Allison and Seth didn't believe in middle ground: either they were slinging vile insults at each other or they were making out in the locker room regardless of whoever might be around.”

that’s just how the straights are

“It reminded Neil a little of Allison and Seth, except without the desperate sexual undertones.”

i’ll just leave this gem of a line here

“His teammates held so little regard for him he didn't even have the dubious honor of being dead last.”

neil shading himself is actually hilarious how relatable

“Neil watched him do it, trying to remember the last time someone gave him a gift and coming up blank. That his first one should be from Andrew was unsettling.”

i actually love the fact that andrew bought him clothes so early on like andrew your gay is showing

“Neil debated how much damage the thick heels of his new boots would do against Andrew's face and liked what his mind came up with.”

i thank god everyday that these books are neil’s pov

“Andrew gave Neil another slow once-over and let go. "We're going.”

^andrew seeing neil w/o contacts (aka. the ‘i can’t think straight’ vine)

“Most of the men wore leather, half the women had corsets, and a good number of both genders were covered in buckles and chains.”

this... is a... gay bar

“Andrew saluted the bouncers on his way by and led the way into the club, bypassing the line entirely.”

i always forget the drinking age in the us is 21 but like this bar really dont care about their liquor license AT ALL lmao

“You think Kevin would risk his future over a night out at the club?" "What future?" Neil asked.”

WOW NEIL WAY TO BE A BITCH

“Neil hadn't seen Aaron get up, but he was waiting behind Neil when Andrew let go. Neil reached for Andrew with lethal intent, but Aaron grabbed the back of his chair and pulled hard enough to topple it over.”

why are the twins literally this gif:

real talk nicky kissing neil like that is horrible and really reflects poorly on nicky as a character

andrew for this entire chapter:

chapter 8 (aka. a hitchhiker’s guide to lying about your identity)

“I don't know how your conversation with Andrew went, but it didn't end well. Rumor has it you paid a busboy a hundred bucks to knock you out. Way to cut our night short.”

this is probably my favourite thing neil does in the entire series ngl

“Wymack grabbed his elbow and hauled him inside. He slowed just long enough to slam the door behind Neil. "Are you stupid or just crazy? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you between here and there? What were you thinking?”

Why does Wymack literally sound like my father?

foxes: daddy?

wymack: DO I LOOK LIKE

follow up:

kevin: daddy?

wymack: uh yeah

“I don't know what the beef is between you two, but it ends here and now.”

Wymack @ neil: tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef that your a vegetarian and your not fucking scared of him

“Then correct me." "Give me a reason." "Besides the obvious?" Andrew said. "If I can't get an answer from you, I'll get it wherever I can.”

andrew:

“I'm—" Neil didn't want to say it, but the word was already there, broken and pathetic between them, "—nothing. I'll always have and be nothing.”

“He wondered for a moment if Andrew could handle the entire truth so calmly, but that was too dangerous and stupid to consider.”

“Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”

this is such a good fucking line like i am shooketh

chapter 9 (aka. neil is, like, really horny for exy)

“Are you stupid?" Seth asked. "Yeah," Neil said.”

what a fuckin MOOD

“Neil had almost forgotten why he liked Exy so much. He did his best at practices but these days he worked mostly to keep his teammates off his back. As Neil surveyed Kevin's damage, he finally felt inspired again. On its heels was a hungry, desperate rush.”

“Seth made as if to throw his beer at Neil. "His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.”

sometimes i really wish seth was actually given a chance to have some character development

“ "Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought." "Maybe I am," Neil said”

another big fucking MOOD

chapter 10 (aka. shocking: university is hard :/ )

“It's fun telling Kevin no," Andrew said with a wicked grin.”

why is andrew like this omg

betsy probably was like just looking for a chill job and was like “oh cool uni students? ill have to deal with like a lot of anxiety, sexual tension, depression and like confusion about the future, not to bad” but NOPE welcome to the fucking MAFIA WARS

“That wasn't so bad, was it? Andrew was convinced it would be a disaster. He put money on you hating Betsy." "Did you bet against him?" "Yes," Renee said. "It was a private bet between the two of us.”

“I hope you didn't lose much," Neil said.”

god why is he such an asshole at every opportunity i love him

“I can take care of myself," Neil said. "Watch me beam with pride.”

wymack is the best father in the world and you cant convince me otherwise

“There was one for every fall team with schedules printed on each. Neil kept the Exy one, tossed the rest into the trash, and buried his magnet deep in his pocket where he didn't have to look at the dates.”

neil “i only care about exy” josten strikes again with his great school spirit

“Palmetto State was facing Edgar Allan on Friday, October 13th”

that’s such a cliche and i love it

“He detoured around students toward one of Palmetto State's three dining halls. Two were for the general student body. The third was for athletes only”

lmao my school literally has one dining hall and it couldnt give less of a fuck what type of student they’re selling food too as long as they’ll pay $15 for chicken fingers

what kind of money does palmetto state fuckin have

like i get us tuition is a lot but jesus so’s mine and my school couldn’t be less fucked

“It was only the first day of school and he already had three assignments: a short paper, a fifty-page chapter to read, and a page of questions about said chapter. Neil debated for a minute as to which one sounded least painful. Five minutes later he was still uninspired, so he put his head down on his desk.”

1. MOOD

2. first years are so cute thinking that’s a lot of assignments i remember in first year being like “i have to read 40 pages thats so unfair :(” and now i’m like “ah sick only 200 pgs of readings this week? im gonna have so much free time!”

upper year history sucks ngl

“I'm fine," Neil said.”

neil knows exactly two (2) words and those are it

“You say that an awful lot," Matt said. "I'm starting to think you don't know what it means.”

overall thoughts:

the plot is pickinnnng upppp

i kind of forget how much world building happens in the first book but like its good

also i love neil literally hating everyone its so funny bc like bby these going to be your best friends just wait

anyways that’s all for now

part 3 will be the rest of tfc and then we’ll move onto trk if you guys still want more of this? let me know

love u all bye

[volleydorkscentral]

ANSWER ALL OF THE QUESTIONS IN THE UNUSUAL ASK GAME, YOU COWARD.

First of all: 

Second, questions under the cut: 

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? - Spotify! all the way. i hoarse my bf’s account so he can never listen but i don’t care it’s mine now it’s full of my music and my playlists and whenever i’m listening to it and it suddenly changes cause he tries to use it on his phone I call him, “are you using spotify?” “oh. i mean i can listen to something else?” “cool, thanks!” and i get my music back. :D

is your room messy or clean? - it’s somewhere in between. my actual ROOM (bed room, i assume) is pretty clean, except i never make the bed. but the house is .. a work in progress. it’s not dirty but it’s cluttered so my bf and I are having to work together to clear that and build shelves and stuff for more storage space.

what color are your eyes? - dark brown! (with little green flecks when I cry)

do you like your name? why? - Not really? i don’t hate it. My mom wanted to name me Savannah but they had her sign the certificate while she was still drugged from her c-section so it ended up as Crystal?? Idk. She named her dolls Crystal when she was a kid.

what is your relationship status? - dating for almost six years. 

how many times a week do you shower? uhhh idk. I don’t shower every day (unless i get gross). AT LEAST four times… but I don’t wash my hair every time cause that’s bad for my hair. I SHOWER WHEN I AM DIRTY.

favorite tv show? does Haikyuu!! count? that’s probably a given. HM. Well, we don’t have cable so I don’t watch a lot of NEW shows? …. OH. Duh. Fuckin me I’m a dumbass. Bob’s Burgers. I literally have it on ALL THE TIME. I don’t like silence so it’s ALWAYS on in the background if i’m not listening to music. I’ve seen every episode a zillion times. I can usually pinpoint every scene and the major lines/jokes.

shoe size? most brands it’s 5 1/2 

how tall are you? SHORTER THAN NISHINOYA BUT TALLER THAN YACHI. I’m like… 5ft-5’1 depending on how much my back hurts. (i used that earlier and someone said it was funny and i’m trash so i’ll repeat it here!)

sandals or sneakers? i wear Bobs LOL. (knock off toms) and i’ve got one pair of sneakers and sometimes I wear my ballet flats around even though my bf says they look dumb fuck u they’re comfy.

do you go to the gym? No. I used to, but where I live now it’d be like a 45 min drive. I don’t really LIKE gyms though? working out is boring to me. No matter how hard I try. I’d love to start dancing again for real.

describe your dream date - April 25th because it’s not too cold and not too hot. Okay but jk that’s a lie where I live it’s balls hot in april. Idk. I’d like to go hiking when it’s not very hot? Take my dog, let her run around. Take a picnic. Sit in a grassy field and talk about dumb shit cause we know each other’s dreams and hopes by now.

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? UHM. fuck like…. $27? i know there’s a twenty and a handful of ones. And a handful of change.

what color socks are you wearing? - NONE. MY FEET ARE COLD. FOREVER COLD.

how many pillows do you sleep with? - pft like 6.

do you have a job? what do you do? - No; I quit after being over worked, under appreciated, cheated out of my paychecks a few times, and no job still due to lingering health issues.

how many friends do you have? answered this already!

whats the worst thing you have ever done? - UHM. Idk i haven’t murdered anyone. I don’t like this question cause if i really try to answer it i’ll spiral into a frustrated, furious depression and self-hatred so… NOPE.

whats your favorite candle scent? i’ve got this candle i got from etsy that’s like… Scottish Highlands? It’s grassy and kinda MAGICY.

3 favorite boy names - i don’t really have favorite names?

3 favorite girl names - answered already

favorite actor? god idk. i’m so bad with names and celebrities. uhm. I really like don’t have a favorite. I LIKE a bunch. Benedict Cumberbatch; Freddie Highmore… uhm. uh. Hugh Laurie? 

favorite actress? IDK OKAY?? I LIKE a bunch but i don’t favorite?? I really like Gwendoline Christie. Uhm. Anne Hathaway makes me laugh. MAGGIE SMITH. how could i forget!??!

who is your celebrity crush? I LEGIT don’t have one.

favorite movie? CLUE takes the top spot most days.

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I used to read a lot more. The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt

money or brains?  personality, bitch.

do you have a nickname? what is it? not *really* but people online used to call me Chrys. My bf calls me ‘sweetie’ sometimes but he also calls the dog that so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

how many times have you been to the hospital? - uhm. like the er? Once when I broke my arm. Doc in the box? Not since 2017.

top 10 favorite songs - PFT. Uhm. Jesus just let me die a little. Excluding all Disney; Not in any order:

No One - Biometrix

Danser - Lisandro Cuxi

A Single Moment of Sincerity (E) - Asking Alexandria (the band I was listening to when I designed my rockstar MC that I love so much)

The Annabel Trilogy (a series of 3 albums) - Alesana. Can’t pick a single song because they’re all a part of a huge story. Listen to them.

Chucky vs. The Giant Tortoise - Dance Gavin Dance

Anticoagulant - Sianvar

Ohioisonfire - Of Mice & Men

Coincidance - Handsome Dancer (Watch the Video for the love of god. THANKS ASH FOR THIS GEM)

Devil’s Backbone - The Civil Wars

Still Here - Digital Daggers (i’ve been listening it to a lot for inspiration for a new AU so… yup. That’s gonna be fun and painful)

do you take any medications daily? - yup

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) - i got dry ass skin it sucks

what is your biggest fear? - uhm… physical fear? idk. Heights is a big one that I developed? I used to not care but a while ago I was walking on a bridge and I just… looked over and got FUCKING DIZZZY with nausea and fear that I was gonna fall and almost fainted. 

how many kids do you want? - HONESTLY… one or two.

whats your go to hair style? - tried to brush but gave up so just threw it in a claw clip

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) - moderate? one story, four bedrooms. big ass yard though for the dog

who is your role model? - I don’t really have one.

what was the last compliment you received? - answered already

what was the last text you sent? - actual TEXT message? ‘as long as there’s someone with her overnight she’ll be okay during the day cause of the dog door and stuff. just play with her before you go to work and maybe hide some treats around the house for her to hunt for’ - texting my friend that’s gonna house sit while we go on a family vacation soon.

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? - UH idk the age? i know I saw my mom writing scavenger cards though. My fam has never had a lot of money so to make Christmas more interesting my mom/grandparents (we lived with them till I was in 3rd grade) would make these elaborate scavenger hunts for me and my cousins to do to find our presents around the house or out in the barn or, on one memorable occasion, at the bottom of our pool! Good memories. 

what is your dream car? - one that RUNS and has badass AC and speakers

opinion on smoking? - hate it. please don’t do it around me. my bf’s family alllllll smoke all the time and i get so sick when i have to go on vacation with them and be around it for a long time. 

do you go to college? - i DID. I went to Culinary school and majored in Baking & Pastry

what is your dream job? - Author or Dog Trainer

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? - rural as all hell. give me trees, cows, and horses. 

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Not usually? but usually the people i’m with do. 

do you have freckles? Not on my face (except one) but i’ve got more like… on my arms and just randomly all over but i dont think ‘freckles’ would be what anyone thinks of when they think of me

do you smile for pictures? - only if i’m forced to be in them

how many pictures do you have on your phone?  - HAHAHAHAHAHA. Well. Before I got my new phone it was over 10k. Now though its only about 2k. 

have you ever peed in the woods? - Only when I was camping. 

do you still watch cartoons? - ALL THE GODDAMN TIME

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? - neither. but i HATE WENDYS and can tolerate McD’s fries and they’ve got ballin’ sweet tea so I guess McD.

Favorite dipping sauce? this honey dijon creamy thing at my favorite French restaurant but idk what is is.

what do you wear to bed? - t-shirt 

have you ever won a spelling bee? - YUP. 2nd grade.  

what are your hobbies? - writing, crocheting, photography, reading, uh… i forget what else

can you draw? when i was doing it all the time i did ok? but i’m WAY TOO IMPATIENT now a days to do it. 

do you play an instrument? - no but i wish i did :(

what was the last concert you saw? - i’ve never been to a concert. crowds are icky

tea or coffee? - tea!

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? - already answered this

do you want to get married? - Yes pls

what is your crush’s first and last initial? - (bf, but I suppose i still have a crush on him? is love considered a crush?) J. Y. 

are you going to change your last name when you get married? god yes. my current last name is my shitbag of a sperm doner and i hate it. my mom kept it after they divorced only cause she thought her maiden name would be too hard for me to spell but i would give anything to have that name instead

what color looks best on you? - idk. i prefer black but i’ve been told green and certain shades of pink/yellow. 

do you miss anyone right now? - not until i thought about it, thanks

do you sleep with your door open or closed? open so my pupper can go in and out

do you believe in ghosts? not until i’m faced with darkness and creepy things 

what is your biggest pet peeve? people chewing their food loud. people not picking up after themselves. people interrupting me (but not in the excited, OMG way. that we can work though) but in the ‘i don’t care what you’re saying i’m going to talk now’ way

last person you called` - my bf to discuss plans for his brother’s bday

favorite ice cream flavor? cookies n’ cream!

regular oreos or golden oreos? DOUBLE STUFF OF EITHER

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? FUCK SPRINKLES

what shirt are you wearing? a shirt that has my dog’s face on it :D

what is your phone background? - the art that Ash drew of Bokuto from my fic Just a Taste!!

are you outgoing or shy? - i hate talking to strangers but with my friends i’m pretty fucking loud and chatty

do you like it when people play with your hair? only people i know

do you like your neighbors? nope. he’s an asshole who neglected his dog and i wanna skin him alive

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? i do my best to remember to do it at night but i always do it when i shower

have you ever been high? yup. 

have you ever been drunk? yup

last thing you ate? BIRTHDAY CAKE

favorite lyrics right now - idk? i guess the first lyrics that came to mind, even though they’re not my favorite, just ones that i like and were stuck in my head for a while: “All of the handsome fiction / will melt away / and when the flame burns brighter / Evaporate” Evaporate - Dance Gavin Dance

summer or winter?  WINTER FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. IT’S SO FUCKING HOT IN SUMMER I DIE EVERY DAY

day or night? both have their merits

dark, milk, or white chocolate? - all chocolate but i prefer white to just EAT. 

favorite month? uhm. uhh. November maybe? for NaNoWriMo. 

what is your zodiac sign - pftt.. i think i used to be a Gemini? i don’t believe in all that stuff 

who was the last person you cried in front of? - ….. my dog? but probably my mom and Grandmother when my GM basically said my bf didn’t love me and was a shit human being and i was a shit granddaughter for loving him. i was both upset and furious and i walked away from them. (my mom called and apologized, but i haven’t spoken to my GM since)

THERE ASH ARE YOU GODDAMN HAPPY. that took so long LOL (I hope the formatting came through I had to redo it on this tumblr page UGH)

[xsoft-liarx]

Okay, here we go. Check my last couple of posts for my trigger warnings..

I'm suicidal. This is a fact I've accepted in 8th grade. It started mostly in 7th to become a realization, but I was in terrible denial. I hate to admit it, but it's just always been there. Always been a part of me since I was little. When I was around 5, I wanted to disappear, because I wasn't like all the other kids. I was tan, I was also happier than other kids at the time. Louder. I was the kid who picked flowers before school and gave them to kids who looked upset. But few people liked me. I was an annoying kid who was sensitive.

I'm now 15 years old. Going on 16 in 2020, I'm still annoying to this day. I can admit that. I've changed from when I was in 6th grade. 7th grade was the "I need to be a cisgirl for my mom" phase. I was an accident (she confirmed it), but she wanted a girl and forced me to be one. I just wanted her to be happy.

8th grade, it was my "fuck it I do so much for people, I need to stop being a bitch and grow a pair" so I started binding. And in the middle of the year I would cut bits of my hair off and hide it from her. None of this is the main point.

Due to everything from my past that will catch up to me, and due to my life now. I will most likely always remain suicidal. I used to slit my wrists on the daily, one time I did it so hard I almost passed out, and I felt awful for my best friend who I was on and off on the phone with telling me to tell my mom, but I didn't want to because her girlfriend was drunk and threatened to leave because I called her out on her shit. Her girlfriend Monica is one of the reasons I'm like this so often.

I was 7, this woman would shake my mattress and bang my head on the wall to wake me. Needless to say, that probably did some damage up there that I never noticed.

Something else this year she did?

"You're a piece of shit!"

"You're garbage!"

"You tore a family apart!" I'm sorry

"I hope you're happy!" I'm not. I never will be, and I've come to accept it.

I had a boyfriend this year. His name was Bruce. I thought I loved him, at the time I did. Little did I realize with the help of two rotc cadets, I was slowly but surely falling out of it..

"You love him, but not as much as you used to." Because he hurt me mentally, but he didn't mean to. Bruce is an amazing person, he's a little crazy, and the relationship ending was both of our faults when I told him about my addiction to nicotine (which I got over quickly when I saw how he reacted, but he broke up with me the day I planned on telling him I quit for him), and he would get pissed off with me for smoking weed, as well. All of my friends except for two, were absolutely convinced that Bruce and I would be together forever, that this was the most perfect relationship. He left me over text, with a small paragraph on tumblr. I was heartbroken for almost an entire month over this boy who wasted two almost three months of my life.

Back to suicide, I.. have a lot on my mind. I've wondered what would happen. But I know what I would do before doing anything.

I would write one last note to my mom, and leave her a voice recording of me singing some old song we liked on the radio when I was 7. Because she was convinced that I wrote like a poet, and sang like an angel. Let her bury me in a suit with that plushie I've had since I was 5.

Give all my friends one last thank you, one last I love you, I'll miss you. Give Zach one last I love you. Wonder who would tell me online best friends because I wouldn't have the heart to say "Hey, man it's my time." They would wake up to Zach, Bella or Alex telling them I died in my sleep or something. I was shot. Stabbed. Or hit by a car or struck by lightning. I should be dead by now, but I know that when I try, I'll fail.

If I had a gun, I would have shot myself through the skull. In 6th grade I read a book, a kid named Anthony did it. The idea was so incredible to me. I loved how easy it seemed.. I was so desperate on finding these books again. I needed them. I loved them. I needed to read more of this morbid shit that I called "fascinating"..

I wonder sometimes. The people who used to love me.. I'm talking about two very specific people, all ex best friends who harassed me on July 3rd when our drama had been over for a month, what they would do. I know I would get my ass beat at school, they hold grudges. I hate this i hate myself whatever gets me away from all of this. I just want to stop having nightmares of these two ruining my life! One of them also told my ENTIRE FRIEND GROUP about my suicide note and attempted suicide that happened in May! The whole fucking group no longer saw me as "the happy bouncy boy who calls everyone sunshine" they all saw me as "the sick pathetic suicidal boy who slits his wrists"! I dont want that anymore! I want this all to stop and I'll admit it I called a girl a snake the same girl and she then admitted to pretending to be my friend for THREE YEARS! And then I cried in front of my boyfriend and my new friendgroup. I didn't want them to think I was weak and emotional.. especially not Zach. They all thought i was this.. amazing ray of sunshine who brought Brian tea in the morning and brought Zach sweets because he wanted his boyfriend happy and knew he had a sweet tooth and gave everyone compliments and hugs all the time.

But then they all realized that I could cry. I could sob. I could feel sadness. I wasn't always a ray of sunshine who carried band aids for people wounds and made people feel better all the time. I tried to hide my negative emotions from them, but it didn't work out too well. I was sobbing so hard I couldn't breathe. I already lost a friend and probably many more due to this girl. Because she vapes abd smokes nicotine and weed and used to drink. Shes pretty and everybody has a crush on her.

"All of your friends talk shit on you, because nobody likes you!" I believe it. She told me that, and I believe it.

I would give these people who hugged me the world. Who told me it would be okay. The ones who even may have been pretending to care about me.. you have my heart.. I promise you, that before I go, I'm going to give you the world. All of it and more.

Jax, Megan, and Kat can have the moon. If I could I'd honestly rope it down with tied up blankets.

I would give everyone individually a star.

I would pick all the sunflowers for Bella and Owen.

Kaylee, Sage, Ashlyn and Alex would get all the roses I can find.

Kasper, Tori, Jaiden, and Gemma can have the crystals and gems you can't find unless you really look.

And for Brian, Richard, Bruce and Zach, they can have the sun.

This is too long, sorry for continuously going, but one last thing, I promise..

I had a plan. When I'm 18. Until I see something or read or hear something that convinces me to keep going, and that life is worth living, and can be amazing, and that even someone as sad and awful as me can be happy, I plan to commit suicide. I don't know what day, but it's a good possibility.

Thank you so much for listening, I'm sorry if this made anyone upset, but I needed to get all of this off of my chest. It's been on my mind all summer. Please don't call anyone on me for my thoughts, I plan on eventually getting help when I have the resources to get the help I need. Thank you. I love you sunshines. 💕

[killshotspectre]

MORE THOUGHTS! MORE THOUGHTS! MORE THOUGHTS! 

stevens dream where he swaps from pink to rose to himself, also horrifying!

“she prefers to be called steven” BLUE DIAMOND WILL RESPECT YOUR PREFERRED NAME!! pronouns may take some getting used to but its a start!

blue throwing hands at yellow then looking surprised at herself. a blessing. and then they both start throwing hands like fucking children! bleessssssss

every fucking face that yellow made and her fucking ugly crying gave me life and watered my crops. yellow has not mastered the pretty cry like blue and im HERE. FOR. IT.

speaking of yellow, you can tell there were a lot of hands on this special because the art style changes so frequently. steven and pink steven were the worst of it (of course its meant to be jarring like the kids fucking dying here but even when they fuse back its still just as jarring, his eyes were too tiny lol) but the rest wasnt too bad

lapis and peris new outfits had me SCREAMINGGGG!!! i was so excited for my babies!!

the eyes on whites head ship were fucking hilarious and a true blessing, i would like to thank everyone who had a hand in creating that perfection

the fusions! THE FUCKING FUSIONS!! OBSIDIAN IS BEAUTIFUL LOVELY WONDERFUL I LOVE HER!! ALSO THE NEW OUTFITS IM LIVING FOR THEM!!

theory confirmation! theory confirmation everywhere! forget calling it change your mind, call it rebecca confirms your theories

I CANT BELIEVE THEY KILLED OFF STEVEN ON SCREEN! you show that shit to kids rebecca? you approve of this nightmare fuel?? of killing 14 y/os????? you monster... im joking dont @ me.....

the way things were going i really thought white was right and pink diamond was going to reform. what we got was so much fucking wooooorse. i didnt need to know what would happen if stevens gem was removed, i really didnt!

but hey, garnet was right all along, STEVEN IS A FUSION!

white diamond defeated by the power of embarrassment. well done, we should follow stevens example and call those who oppose us what they are, babies, and shame them into submission (not a joke, some people should be shamed for their horrible actions)

LARS!!!!! FIIIINALLYYYYY!!!!! YOU TOOK! SO! LOOOOOOOOOONG!!!!!!

IS NO ONE GOING TO TALK ABOUT HOW STEVEN ALMOST DIED??????? SEEMS TRAUMATIC!! SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING THAT NEEDS TALKING ABOUT!!!!! NO? JUST GONNA SING INSTEAD???

ALL THE GEMS! ALL THE GEMS! ALL THE GEMS! ALL THE GEMS! ALL! THE! GEMS! i love them all and id die for each and every one of them

also the diamonds sitting in roses fountain....did she know?? it seems so...deliberate. so thought out, so planned.. pink/rose knew more than she let on, more than we even get to see and its almost scary how much it seems like all of this was her plan for who knows how long. of course she could have tried this on her own but it wouldnt have worked. look at how all the events happened, it had to be steven! im not trying to say that steven wasnt created out of love but creating steven was most definitely part of her plan

the special seemed so final but theres more to be uncovered here, more to be resolved...i cant wait!

[lostinyourears]

Lost in Lucha’s Top 100 CMLL  Matches of 2018 List

Short forward before we get to the list. I hate to state the obvious, but this is mylist for CMLL’s best matches. I didn’t look through Arena Guadalajara matches which thecubsfan posts. All of these matches are from CMLL’s Arena Puebla(which airs monday night) as well as Arena Mexico shows(which airs on Tuesday/Friday). I’m not saying Guadalajara matches aren’t good, as they can be. I just choose to mostly stick to what CMLL officially uploads to Youtube.

I haven’t seen every CMLL match of 2018. If you think something isn’t listed that should be… say so! I’ll gladly watch/rewatch recommendations that people think should have been on this list.

I’m also not saying these are the best lucha libre matches or the best wrestling matches of the year. It says CMLL for a reason, I didn’t watch as much AAA or IWRG and didn’t want to have 90 CMLL matches and 10 matches from those two sources. So if you have other great lucha or wrestling matches this year you think I should watch, feel free to suggest them.  

1. Fenix vs. Barbaro Cavernario, Leyenda de Plata Finals, November 23rd

For my money, the best wrestling match of 2018 bar none. Some people say they prefer the other match these two had earlier in the year. I’m not going to call bullshit, as I really like that match as well as you can see from it’s placement on this list. I just thought this was a great escalation of that match and slightly better. The Leyenda de Plata every year is a great event and highlight from CMLL. Always a treat and these finals trump last year by having 2 younger and more surprising finalists who hit it out of the park!

This is a match I’d be surprised to hear isn’t universally loved. I don’t know how you could see Fenix’s flying skills and the brutality of Barbaro Cavernario in this match and come out calling it anything less than great. I thought similarly about their 2nd match on this top 100 as well.

A must watch for not only any lucha libre fan, but any wrestling fan in general. No doubt the best or one of the best bouts in 2018.  

2. Angel de Oro vs Cuatrero, mask vs mask at Homage to 2 Legends, March 16th

Between this and their title match a few weeks/months later it was hard to choose which match in this feud to give this number 2 spot. I went with this because… someone loses their mask here. I do really think the title match may be as good or better with a fantastic ending, but I didn’t want to spoil this match for any newcomers which gave this an edge. Granted as weeks/months and eventually years pass by this spoiler has become less important, but I wanted to preserve the surprise for any CMLL/Lucha newbies who come upon this list. My favorite lucha de apuestas of the year.  

3. La Park, Volador Jr. & Flyer vs. Ingobernables(Rush, Terrible & Bestia del Ring), May 25th

Did the amount of hype I had for La Park’s return match to CMLL color my perception of this match? Of course, this is my list! Still, away from the hype this match holds up. It’s ridiculous how hot this match is. La Park returns and reignited his feud with Rush and now that he is in CMLL that feud extends fully to Los ingobernables. Many people will poo poo the feud and this match because CMLL didn’t book Rush/La Park lucha de apuestas for CMLL 85th Anniversary. To that, I’ll say that the match is still great. My favorite from Rush or La Park in 2018 and really from any of these 6 in 2018, when pretty much all of them had great 2018′s… except Bestia del Ring, but he’s never had a good year.

4. Cuatrero © vs Angel de Oro for the CMLL World Middleweight Championship June 1st

This is another match from the Cuatrero/Angel de Oro feud and won’t be the last. I loved this feud and it won’t be the only feud to be in this top 10 twice. I think the feuds included in this top 10 are some of the best this year and are one of the great exhibits on why CMLL in 2018 far and away trounced 2017 and showed just how much CMLL has grown over the year. 2018 set a bar to surpass that 2019 might have a hard time living up to.

5. Barbaro Cavernario vs King Phoenix 2/3 falls(Fenix’s first singles match in CMLL) June 29th

When I saw this live back in June my immediate thought was MOTY. You might then be thinking, “well you have matches from earlier in the year you put above this.” Congrats on getting how the calendar works. I still put this at #5 and think it’s one of the best matches of the year. Certainly worth a viewing and I can certainly see why anyone would give this MOTY. A great first singles for Fenix that shows just what Fenix in CMLL can do, if given a spotlight. No doubt a vote of confidence for him and likely a large reason he was given a spot in the Leyenda de Plata finals above which happened a few months later.

6. Hechicero, Dragon Rojo Jr. & Polvora vs. Blue Panther, Blue Panther Jr. & Black Panther June 22nd

The match I gave #1 over La Park vs. Rush singles match in CMLL, why? Because it’s one of the best trios matches of 2018. I love Rojo/Polvora as a team along with the Panther Dynasty. Add that to the technical wizardry of Hechicero and you have yourself a classic. One of the best matches of the year and the hidden gem pick for this top ten. Everything else here is pretty much regarded as a great match in the CMLL/Lucha fanbase, this one deserves more love and hopefully being #6 on this list will lead to that.

7. Sky Team(Volador Jr./Valiente)© vs. Los ingobernables(Rush/Terrible) for the CMLL World Tag Team Championships July 13th

My favorite tag match of the year. As said in my rewatch thread on twitter, that’s not saying much because they only ever have a few great tag matches a year with CMLL running mostly trios. Putting it at 7 overall for the year on the other hand is saying a bit more. This was fantastic and a direct look at why adding Terrible to ingobernables in 2018 was a brilliant choice. His no nonsense slap the shit out of people offense works great with Rush’s similar ‘to the point’ offense. The highlight of Atlantis’ 40th Anniversary show.  

8. Volador Jr./Matt Taven vs. Rush/Barbaro Cavernario for the hairs, CMLL 85th Anniversary iPPV main event September 14th (Poor quality, can be seen in better quality on RoH’s Honor Club)

Just short of the match at 7th place and the Anniversary main event sliding down 7 spots from 2017′s top 100 list. This being a tag match for the hairs isn’t as dramatic as the mask vs. mask main we got last year. I was happy to see this on Honor Club and got Gran Prix as well in the month timespan I had Honor Club, making it a good value. One that I might sign back up for now that Rush has signed a deal to appear more in RoH.

Volador Jr./Matt Taven was a good feud this year, but not as great as the other 3 feuds in this top ten. Barbaro Cavernario was a good replacement for the injured Terrible, but it makes one wonder what that match would have looked like.

Still this built Barbaro Cavernario for the future which is only a good thing and makes his argument for WOTY that much stronger. Than had he just won Leyenda de Plata, which may not have been planned before this performance.

9. La Park, El Hijo de La Park & Ultimo Guerrero vs. Rush, Barbaro Cavernario & Bestia del Ring September 17th

My second favorite Rush/Park match from their long running feud. They export it to Puebla which works great. I loved the wild action of this match and Park’s son continues to impress when given a chance to be in a marquee match. Barbaro comes along for the ride having just won the main event of CMLL’s biggest show of the year with Rush. This match won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you love a good brawl, that’s this to a tea.  

10. Leyenda de Plata torneo cibernético, 8 vs. 8 elimination to the final 2 November 16th

The preliminary match to our #1 on this list. The best torneo cibernetico of the year like it is most years. Last year’s was at #4 and I don’t think it’s that much better or even better than this one at all. Instead, I think the CMLL economy was different in 2018 than it was in 2017. Basically, I think we had more great matches in 2018 which pushed Leyenda de Plata’s torneo cibernetico down the list. Still a great match and a great way to get introduced to many of the best names on the roster… and Kawato San.

11. Soberano Jr.© vs. Magia Blanca for the Mexican National Welterweight Championship May 1st

This missed the top 10 by the slimmest of margins which spells a great future for both these talents, but a break out performance from Magia Blanca who sadly sat out the latter half of the year due to an injury. Here is hoping he comes back even stronger in 2019 and earns his spot as break out star of the year that he may have claimed in 2018, had he not been sidelined.  

12. Mephisto © vs Titan for the CMLL World Welterweight Championship January 23rd

One of the best title matches of the year despite these two not having much of a feud before or after this. These two had a tooth and nail fight that seemed like either could have won any given second of the match, once we got a few minutes in. Titan has had a secretly stellar year, even if this is his first appearance on the list(outside of the match with 16 men in it). These who had another title match later in the year with each other which isn’t as good and didn’t make the list.

13. Cuatrero © vs. Titan for the CMLL World Middleweight Championship November 6th

Back to back entries for Titan and with good reason. He had a great year and these two matches are proof positive. Hopefully 2019 can be Titan’s year to recapture gold instead of always being the go to challenger. Like Barbaro this year who unseated Atlantis as Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship, but had prior to that been in a similar role to Titan, but rudo.

14. Hechicero © vs. Stuka Jr. for the NWA World Historic Light Heavyweight Championship August 14th

Hechicero and Stuka Jr. are both very fun. The feud for this belt and the matches that have lead up to it and fall out after were often some of the best matches of any given week with this match being the best of it’s given week. Lots of great action both Hechicero’s technical skill and Stuka Jr.’s flying skill are shown to full effect here. A classic that shouldn’t be forgotten.

15. La Park vs. Rush June 22nd

The first match I gave a #2 spot on CMLL weekly, all above this fell on #1 their given weeks. I’m sure many could be rolling their eyes at it being this high/low. “You think Rush/La Park was feud of the year, but their only singles match is number 15?” Yea, I think La Park’s big return to both CMLL and then Arena Puebla were more fun. This was a great match with plenty of action, but the end left me wanting more, which we didn’t get in 2018, as far as singles matches with these two in CMLL is concerned. Here’s hoping 2019 brings a lucha de apuestas match between these two.

16.  La Park, El Hijo de La Park & Caristico vs. Pentagon, Fenix & Diamante Azul 85th Anniversary semi-main September 14th

I really love this match and if you had told me a year prior that Pentagon/Fenix/La Park/Hijo de La Park would all be in a big match at Anniversary, I’d have laughed. Now that it happened, I feel like I could cry. It’s been just so cool to see all these guys in Arena Mexico and with La Park even Arena Puebla, I can’t imagine the excitement of those who attended some of these events live.

17. Fenix, Mistico, & Caristico vs. Ultimo Guerrero, Negro Casas & Barbaro Cavernario(Debut of Fenix in CMLL) June 8th

If there were any worry about Fenix and how he’d fit into the CMLL ecosystem, they were quickly squashed by this excellent match that showcased him vs. Ultimo/Negro Casas and of course Barbaro Cavernario. This was the start of that great feud between those two, which seems far from over as we start 2019.

18. Michael Elgin vs. Ultimo Guerrero October 12th

I wish on FantasticaMania this year we were getting a singles match of this caliber with NJPW vs. CMLL. Michael Elgin resident big man gaijin of NJPW won Gran Prix and his award other than a trophy was a singles match vs. The Final Boss of CMLL as the FantasticaMania promo package painted him as.

Elgin had some answers for some of Ultimo Guerrero moves. A very exciting clash of worlds between these two icons. Michael Elgin has been touring CMLL like clockwork and I assume we’ll see him again in 2019.

19. Caristico © vs. Gran Guerrero for the NWA World Historic Middleweight Championship October 2nd

It was great to see Gran Guerrero in a singles match again after most of 2018 was about trios matches for Los Guerreros Laguneros with their feud with The Cl4n lasting longer than it probably should have. I love seeing Gran Guerrero just powerhouse through Caristico’s offense and hope that with Barbaro Cavernario now having a belt, perhaps Gran Guerrero and Templario can be the favorite challenger rudos for various tecnico carried belts.  

20. Triton vs Audaz Lighting Match July 24th

Audaz and Triton had a barnburner of a lightning match. The best lightning match of the year and just slipping into the top 20. Last year I was hotter on Barbaro/Dragon Lee lightning which was the highest on it’s list.

I think 2018 was stronger than 2017 at pretty much every turn. So it’s more just about having more and better title matches than this being a lesser lightning match. Though to be honest this was more a proving match between two up and comers, while Barbaro/Lee was more a proving match between two main eventers.  

21. Rush & Terrible vs Ultimo Guerrero & Volador Jr. Incredible Pairs Finals February 23rd

This would be higher if not for the fact Terrible/Rush had the better tag title match listed above. Loved how this match played out and Terrible joining ingobernables was some new blood in that faction that was sorely needed after La Mascara was fired alongside Maximo Sexy in summer of 2017.

For those unaware : Incredible Pairs format is Rudo/Tecnico(Heel/Face) teams tournament and despite Rush/Terrible both being Rudo’s part of the ingobernables shtick is being a different kind of tecnico making rest on paper a tecnico… though his actions in this match say otherwise.

22.  Último Guerrero © vs. Sanson for the CMLL World Heavyweight Championship November 19th

A great defense for this title that was vacated by Marco Corleone a few months prior. This match could have been better, which is they the Elgin match is above this. Still great to see the defacto leader of two rudos stables clash in Puebla and one of the bouts that made Puebla must watch this year.

23. Niebla Roja © vs. Sanson for the CMLL World Light Heavyweight Championship July 17th

Another good title challenge for Sanson which saw him go against Niebla Roja who he’s had a soft feud with. Sorta a byproduct of the Angel de Oro/Cuatrero feud which has mostly lead to trios match and of course this title match.

24. Hechicero, Dragón Rojo Jr. & Polvora vs La Excelencia Tapatia (Titan, Triton & Esfinge) May 11th

Another great CMLL trios bout and it’s no mistake that Dragon Rojo/Polvora are in it again. They may be the best rudo tag team in CMLL, but to be fair that’s because most rudo units are trios or more. I always like seeing Triton as well.  

25. Gran Alternative Finals Ultimo Guerrero & Templario vs. Volador Jr. & Flyer May 18th

Another tournament final, both of the big annual tag tournaments had big aftermath that sorta overshadowed the match, but this is likely the match that put Templario on the map and of course it’s after match angle of La Park showing up will make this one for the history books… even if the match sorta gets lost in the discussion of that and both Volador/Flyer looked better in following months teaming with La Park.

For those unaware  : Gran Alternative is a tag tournament with younger/established guys and a more seasoned partner. Ultimo/Volador being established and Templario/Flyer being newer talents.

26. Volador Jr. © vs Matt Taven for the NWA World Historic Welterweight Championship March 30th

The last singles male title match to get the #1 spot on CMLL weekly. This is a great match and the shocking outcome was great, but the follow up was really lacking. I would have prefered the follow up to play out in literally any other way, but it didn’t and we are stuck with a great shock win/loss that simply floundered in the following weeks/months.  

27. Cuatrero vs. Angel de Oro February 6th

The match where tensions between Angel de Oro and Cuatrero boiled over. I’d suggest watching all three of the singles matches with these two on this list(so far) as this rivalry was great from start to finish. (Even the Middleweight Championship match at FantasticaMania which isn’t on this list as I’m counting that as a NJPW match)

28. Euforia vs Caristico January 16th

Caristico and Euforia were two of the lucky few who were tasked to hold down the fort during FantasticaMania last year and did a great job in this singles meeting. Euforia is secretly a great competitor even in singles matches and this one showed in full what he could do with a great partner.

29. Barbaro Cavernario vs. Matt Taven August 31st

A great singles match to build towards Anniversary with both corner men getting involved in the last stages of the match. Barbaro has had a killer year and this is another testament to that.

30. Rush vs Kraneo April 23rd

The catalyst for the Kraneo tecnico turn. Things are crazy in this match, if you can’t appreciate the silliness of Kraneo, this likely won’t change your mind. If you can appreciate him and Mije, this match could be a contender for MOTY. It’s balls to the walls crazy, from start to finish.

31.  Negro Casas vs Sam Adonis, Hair vs Hair, January 1st

A pretty strong main event to start the year off on. Negro Casas still going strong at 57 and Sam Adonis looking better than he normally does. Negro Casas got hurt here and sat out the start of 2018 while Sam Adonis left for most of the 2nd year, so it feels like both men failed to capitalize on the surprisingly great match they had here.

32. Negro Casas vs. Soberano Jr., 1 fall no time limit, May 11th

Great match which was booked a few weeks after their lightning match which ended on a draw. This would be higher if it weren’t for the fact that a decent amount of this match felt similar to the above listed Magia Blanca match Soberano Jr. had.

33.  Dalys © vs Kaho Kobayashi for the CMLL World Women’s Title April 23rd

Is this a token women’s match on this list? Yes, yes it is. Sue me, I liked this match, but not much else from the luchadora roster from CMLL this year stood out. Kaho was a breath of fresh air and anyone who says they aren’t looking forward to Kaho returning to the division either doesn’t watch the division or is lying. CMLL could use more female talent in general, the norm of trios matches is hard to keep from being boring when you have a roster of around a dozen.  

34. Flyer vs. Magia Blanca, New Values Cup Finals, April 17th

This would no doubt be higher if it weren’t for the fact Flyer was roped into the La Park program and Magia Blanca similarly had a better match when he went one on one vs. Soberano Jr. for his belt soon after this. Still, these up and comer tournament finals are always must watch, because how can you not be excited for new guys getting a spotlight? Bonus for this making the New Values’ Tuesday night shows live up to the name.

35.  Volador Jr., Mistico & Valiente © vs. Gran Guerrero, Ultimo Guerrero, & Caristico CMLL World Trios Championship match April 2nd

A fun trios championship match for Arena Puebla which saw Caristico show up in a half Guerreros mask, which might be bumping this up a bit for me. I’m a Guerreros mark and if you have a problem with that… sorry?

36. Sanson © vs. Templario, King of the Underworld Championship, Day of the Dead iPPV, November 2nd

This would have tracked higher, but I honestly think the Cuatrero/Titan match came out better and was free on Youtube a few days later when the next Tuesday show aired. While this was the main reason to buy the underwhelming Day of the Dead iPPV, that was announced as an iPPV the day before.

37. Angel de Oro, Niebla Rojo, Black Panther, Blue Panther Jr. & Stuka Jr. vs. Dragon Rojo Jr., Luciferno, Misterioso Jr., Espanto Jr. & Templario, La Copa Halcón Suriano 5 vs. 5 Elimination, October 19th

The next best torneo after Leyenda de Plata, this and the King of the Underworld torneo imo took the shine off Gran Prix, which was still fun, but felt bloated while this torneo felt better paced and had better action across the board.

38. Mistico vs. Caristico April 9th

I was expecting more from this match, but it was still good shit. People loving Caristico and hating on pirata Mistico. Wish more came from this and that it was longer. Still this was good action between these two long rivals.

39. Cuatrero vs Mephisto lightning match July 20th

Two unstoppable rudos fighting it out for supremacy, what else could you want?

40. Dragon Lee vs Caristico, Lightning Match, June 15th

Much like Caristico vs. Mistico this isn’t higher mostly because it didn’t live up to the promise such a match has. This was supposed to happen before Dragon Lee went to Japan for the Best of the Super Juniors tournament. He had a muscle scare though and it was called off early in the match. Glad to have this match rebooked when he came back, but was hoping for more.

41. Pegasso, Magia Blanca & Star Jr. vs. Templario, Sagrado & Virus, March 23rd

Really great ending stretch in this match with both Magia Blanca and Templaio seemingly being penciled in for a push this year. Templario got his and Magia Blanca won the New Values Cup, but has been sidelined by injury for the 2nd half of the year, hopefully CMLL is still hot on him come his 2019 return.

42. Gran Prix, 9 vs. 9 Elimination, Team Mexico vs. Team Rest of the World, October 5th

My 3rd favorite torneo cibernetico this year. Falling a long distance down the list. I thought Team Rest of the World was rather lackluster this year. No offense to guys like David Finlay/Briscoes/Dark Magic, but they felt like filler here. Even Gilbert el Boricua didn’t stand out as much as I’d hoped. This match seems less must watch than the Ultimo vs. Elgin match listed above, which was fall out for the Friday directly after this one. I hope this keeps being an annual event, but I could see CMLL scrapping it since they told the Elgin story over the last 3 years.

43. Soberano Jr., Niebla Roja & Angel de Oro vs. Ultimo Guerrero, Gran Guerrero & Templario, December 18th

Templario teams with Los Guerreros Laguneros again. This match has a better ending than the match about a month prior when he officially joined. That atomicos will be lower on the list as it was plenty of fun, but felt this was the better match overall. Hope we get a Templario/Soberano Jr. match in 2019.

44. Los Guerreros Laguneros(Ultimo Guerrero, Gran Guerrero & Euforia) © vs. Volador Jr., Mistico & Caristico for the CMLL World Trios Championships,  November 30th

Very akin to late 2017 when Los Guerrero Laguneros were challenging for the titles when Volador Jr./Mistico/Valiente had the belts. A little too akin for my tastes, but this is still a fantastic trios championship match. I could see many people putting this sprint in their top 10 for CMLL this year.

45. El Hijo de La Park, Soberano Jr., & Flyer vs. Hechicero, Negro Casas, & Mephisto, August 24th

A great showcase for all the tecnicos and Mephisto looks like a stud in his Villano III tribute gear. Villano III is who they are honoring before this match happens and had many members of his family to to the ring.

46.  Forastero, Negro Casas & Rey Bucanero vs. Mistico, Soberano Jr. & Hijo del La Park, September 28th

A great showing for Forastero and all 3 tecnicos were looking good. It’s always nice to see Negro Casas as well and it seems like every tecnico in the company excels when facing off vs. the old guard rudo.

47. #1 Contenders, 6 vs. 6 torneo cibernetico for Sanson’s King of the Underworld Championship, October 26th

Think this is the last torneo cibernetico that’ll be on this list. It was mostly pushed down due to some of the talents included seemed very unlikely to win and thus hurt the drama. Cuatrero/Forastero for instance, as much as I like them, didn’t seem to fit well here when their brother/cousin has the title. Would have rather had them in Leyenda de Plata which they could theoretically have won. Especially Cuatrero who of course had a breakout year.  

48.  La Park, El Hijo de La Park & Volador Jr. vs. Los ingobernables(Rush, Bestia del Ring & Terrible), June 1st

The second match for La Park upon his CMLL return. These trios/team matches with Rush/La Park were fun, but think they had diminishing returns. The 1st in Area Mexico and the 1st in Puebla stand as tall above the following weeks in both Arenas. Having fun brawls all summer and in the weeks following Anniversary in Puebla were some of the most fun I had watching CMLL this year, even if the dusty finishes of many left them feeling less impactful.

49. Soberano Jr. vs Barbaro Cavernario, March 27th

Feels like this was a blueprint for what both Fenix matches did later in the year. I honestly could have seen this being match of the year earlier this year, but with all the crazy action over the summer/fall/winter it was pushed down plenty. Still more than worth checking out these two great young talents in an epic.

50. Rush/Barbaro Cavernario vs. La Park/Hijo de La Park, September 24th

More Park vs. Rush in Puebla, this time with less fat!

51. Ultimo Guerrero © vs. Stuka Jr. for the NWA World Historic Middleweight Championship, May 22nd

A fun title match between two of my favorites, but both had better singles matches this year as listed above. The ending in particular felt a little weird here, but I still really enjoyed this match.  

52. Pentagon vs. Caristico, December 28th

Pentagon hasn’t hit the ground running as well as his brother Fenix in CMLL. He has still had plenty of great matches and this one would be higher on the list if the ending wasn’t so silly and deflating. Still a great match and a great way to end 2018, but here’s hoping his next singles match in CMLL has a better ending and perhaps a title on the line. Fenix for instance had his 2nd singles match in the company for a tournament win, that match of course being #1.

53. Los Guerreros Laguneros(Ultimo Guerrero/Gran Guerrero/Euforia) vs. Ingobernables(Rush/Bestia del Ring) & Barbaro Cavernario, August 20th

It’s pretty funny that despite the fact Los Guerrero Laguneros had a long running feud with The Cl4n for the CMLL World Trios titles, which even got a match at CMLL Anniversary, their best feuds this year were in Puebla vs. Ingobernables and…—–>

54. NGD(Sanson, Cuatrero & Forastero) vs. Los Guerreros Laguneros(Ultimo Guerrero, Gran Guerrero & Euforia), November 12th

Puebla is often seen as the weaker of the weekly shows, but CMLL have been putting some fun matches and rivalries in that arena to keep in interesting, depending on what week you watch it.

55. Mascara Año 2000 & NGD vs. Los Guerrero Laguneros, November 23rd

Think this is the 1st atomicos on this list. Just like trios you pin/submit the captain or two none captains to win a round.  

This was a great feel good moment for fans of Dinamitas and Mascara Ano 2000. He was honored then got to be in an exciting Friday Night Main Event. In my opinion the best ‘Anniversary of my career’ match we’ve had this year, which is a tall order when Blue Panther/Atlantis/Negro Casas all had them this year.

This was also the start of Templario as an official member of Los Guerreros Laguneros. Which is a big step up the cards for him.

56. Kraneo vs Hechicero lightning match January 19th

A great lightning match that shows how great the characters in CMLL can be despite story being rather thin in the company. I love Kraneo and Mije, if you don’t you may not find this as charming as I did.

57. Audaz, Fuego & Triton vs Raziel, Cancerbero & Nitro, January 30th

Audaz under a new name/mask this was only his 6th match after changing his name/mask from Fiero and Triton only came back from injury a little over a month before this match. Both looked great here and Raziel/Cancerbero are a great team who were awol most of 2018 with Raziel out on injury.

58. Hechicero, Mr. Niebla & Ephesto vs. Stuka Jr., Soberano Jr. & Angel de Oro, August 7th

This was the build up match for the following weeks Hechicero© vs. Stuka Jr. title match that is listed above. It got heated to the point that Hechicero ripped off Stuka Jr.’s pants. Which was a fun rudo move for Hechicero and something Barbaro did to Soberano Jr. this year as well.

59. Gran Guerrero vs. Niebla Roja, January 6th

A reprisal of their CMLL 84th Anniversary main event from a few months prior in September. This match is good, but doesn’t live up to the epic were both men had their masks on the line, which of course was my #1 match for 2017.

60. Titan vs Rey Cometa Lightning Match, January 12th

A very fun lightning match between two of the best tecnicos in the company. Rey Cometa seems like he is locked in midcard purgatory, but I have hope that CMLL sees the value in Titan who had a killer 2018.

61. Dragon Lee & Mistico vs. Sanson & Cuatrero, CMLL Tag Team Tournament preliminary match, March 2nd

Two pairs of brothers, both of which are over and beloved trying to knock the other brothers out of the tournament? Sounds good to me. These two teams as of this writing are set to meet in a FantasticaMania family tournament semi-final on January 18th.

62. Flyer vs. Magia Blanca, New Values Cup Finals, April 17th

A great finals for a great tournament. Not higher simply because Flyer had some good matches with La Park and his family, while Magia Blanca had his great title challenge vs. Soberano Jr. So this was pushed down the list because both men have had better showings this year and Flyer had some shakey moments.

63. Casas Family(Negro Casas, Felino & Tiger) vs. NGD(Sanson, Cuatrero & Forastero), August 31st

CMLL Anniversary was right around the corner and in the build we got this match between dynasties : Casas brothers Negro Casas/Felino along with Tiger, who is son of Felino vs. Dinamitas brothers Sanson/Cuatrero and cousin Forastero. I love these kind of family battles and this one is no different.

64. Hijos del Infierno(Mephisto, Luciferno & Ephesto) vs Soberano Jr., Dragon Lee & Titan, February 5th

I spoke very highly of this when it happened. It still holds up as one of the best trios this year. Demon’s as a full unit vs. 3 of the best tecnicos in the company, hard to go wrong with a pairing like that.

65. Dragon Rojo Jr., Polvora & Templario vs. Audaz, Esfinge & Soberano Jr., October 12th

Another fantastic trios match that included the duo of Rojo/Polvora. Before Templario joined Los Guerreros Laguneros it seemed like Templario might’ve joined Los Revolucionarios del Terror, him tagging with them a fair amount.

66. Cuatrero © vs. Angel de Oro for the CMLL World Middleweight Championship, July 16th

Another great match between these two, but this feels like continued fallout from the other matches and not as definitive or dramatic as the matches listed above from this feud. A reset point for this feud and the last singles match from the two of them(as of this writing). We could likely see this again in 2019, I’d be excited to see them reprise this great rivalry.  

67. Virus, Puma & Tiger vs. Audaz, Rey Cometa & Guerrero Maya Jr., Special Coliseo 75th Anniversary broadcast, April 7th

My favorite match from the Coliseo 75th Anniversary show they did, one of the few matches from that arena on this list as they don’t often upload shows from that Arena, but made a point to air this.

68. Pegasso, Blue Panther Jr. & The Panther vs. Templario, Puma & Tiger, April 20th

Another match with Puma/Tiger, their feud with the Panther Bros. is/was one of my favorite things in wrestling over the last 5 years. They’d likely be on this list more had Puma not left half way through the year.

69. Volador Jr. © vs. Barbaro Cavernario for the NWA World Historic Welterweight Championship, October 8th

This was a heated title match, but suffered from Volador Jr./Barbaro having had so many singles matches before this and even other title matches like this. Still, a good version of this match in Puebla so no doubt it was fun for fans there to see these two titans clash.

70. Mephisto vs. Dragon Lee, April 10th

I’m fairly cool on this match. It’s still a very good match, but I thought that the earlier in the year Titan vs. Mephisto match was better in pretty much every way. Which is they it cracked to top 15.

71. Dragon Lee, Soberano Jr. & Blue Panther Jr. vs Mephisto, Luciferno & Ephesto, March 6th

Demons again work well as a unit and we get Blue Panther Jr. in a bigger match than many of the midcard matches we see him in.  Lots to like here and of course Dragon Lee/Soberano Jr. this match is one that lead towards Lee/Mephisto listed just above about a month later.

72. Blue Panther, Panterita del Ring, Black Warrior & Euforia vs. Mascara Ano 200, Sanson, Cuatrero & Forastero, October 19th

The atomicos match that Blue Panther got for his 40 years in the business vs. NGD and their uncle Mascara Ano 2000.

Penterita del Ring taking up his old mask is better known as Ephesto in modern CMLL. Black Warrior being a legend who hasn’t been in CMLL lately or following this match/event.

All of Blue Panther’s team are Laguneros(a swampy region of Mexico) which is where Blue Panther is from and he is a major inspiration for basically any luchador who comes from that region.

73. Mephisto & Yago vs. Volador Jr. & Flyer, Gran Alternative Block A Finals,  May 4th

Finals of this tournament are higher on this list. Unlike that match this was a single round instead of the CMLL norm of 2/3 falls. Yago was given many small highlights year and might break out in 2019 if CMLL has confidence in him.

Flyer got that sorta push this year thanks to his relative La Park showing up in CMLL to save him after the finals of this tournament. With Flyer being in main events with relatives Volador Jr. & La Park.

74. Ultimo Guerrero & Templario vs. Kraneo & Audaz, Gran Alternative Block B Tournament match,  May 11th

The best match of Block B for that tournament. Audaz/Templario seemed poised for a singles feud that never really happened. Hopefully in 2019 CMLL gives these guys something to feud over.

75. Angel de Oro, Soberano Jr. & El Hijo de La Park vs NGD(Sanson, Cuatrero & Forastero), May 25th

Great debut for El Hijo del La Park that many will forget because his father being in the much more celebrated main event where he continued his feud with Rush. If you’ve come this far you’ll see Hijo got to tag with his dad plenty this year. Those matches are rated higher for various reasons the biggest being an actual feud. Hopefully in 2019 Hijo de La Park is given more to do, perhaps if he signs or takes a bigger role/more dates in CMLL?

76. Luciferno, Dragon Rojo Jr. & Polvora vs. La Excelencia Tapatia (Titan, Triton & Esfinge), June 26th

Rojo/Polvora were great this year and Triton is one of my favorite guys on the roster. La Excelencia Tapatia make a great Trio, as of this writing, Triton/Esfinge still hold the Coliseo Tag Titles they won in 2018.

77. Rush vs. Ultimo Guerrero Lightning Match, May 4th

Two of the biggest rudos clash in a fun and memorable lightning match, but it didn’t lead to much as most of Rush’s Summer was focused on La Park.

78. Fenix, Volador Jr. & El Hijo de La Park vs. La Peste Negra(Negro Casas, Mr. Niebla & Barbaro Cavernario), June 22nd

Fenix and Hijo de La Park in the same match. An impossibility in 2017 made reality in 2018. A sign of how much CMLL is shaking things up and will hopefully keep bringing in exciting names in 2019.

79. La Park, Fenix, & Volador Jr. vs. Rush, Terrible & Cibernetico, June 15th

At the time I watched this match I called it my 2nd favorite of the Park/Rush series, but this was still pretty early in the saga. Still a fun main event and Rush/Park feud was fun to watch from start to now and is about a dozen matches(in CMLL) and many of those made this list because they are great.

80. Kazuchika Okada, Ultimo Guerrero & Negro Casas vs. Mistico, Valiente & Diamante Azul, August 17th

Okada showed up in Arena Mexico in a balloon filled haze after losing his IWGP Heavyweight Championship earlier in the summer. It was a fun ride, but one of the best parts probably isn’t the actual match, but seeing rudo old guards Ultimo/Casas like proud fathers with Okada in the post match interview.  

81. Ingobernables(Rush/Naito/Bushi) with Evil, Terrible, Bestia del Ring & La Comandante vs. Volador Jr., La Park & Diamante Azul, August 31st

This match is a silly clash of worlds while Okada had a more straight laced normal match in CMLL, with better technical action and less..silliness. Both earn a place on this list less for being great matches and more for being cool moments. I’d like to see NJPW talents in CMLL more often. (Post match interview for them as well)

82. NGD(Sanson, Cuatrero & Forastero) vs. Caristico, David Finlay & Flip Gordon, October 9th

Great Tuesday night main event and Flip Gordon looks as good here as he ever has in CMLL. Hopefully in 2018 Flip Gordon can get a singles match in CMLL even if it’s just a lightning.

83. Titan, Gran Guerrero & Ultimo Guerrero vs. Soberano Jr., Volador Jr. & Flyer, June 11th

An explosive Puebla main event that showed Titan gunning for Soberano Jr. hard. One of the best main events Puebla had all year.

84. Soberano Jr. © vs. Titan Mexican National Welterweight Championship match, June 25th

Both great talents, but had stronger singles matches with other people throughout the year. Was strange to see Titan play the rudo(heel) since he has been a tecnico(face) for so long.

85. Pentagon el 0M, Rush, & Terrible vs. Caristico, Volador Jr. & Valiente, June 29th

Pentagon’s debut in CMLL came a week after he attacked Caristico in a main event. Pentagon hasn’t made as big of a splash as most would have hoped, but had lots of his thunder stolen by La Park and son along with his own brother Fenix who all did more in 2018(in CMLL).

86. Tiger, Puma & Misterioso Jr. vs. Blue Panther, Blue Panther Jr. & Black Panther, July 10th

Another great match in the long running Panthers/Felino family rivalry.

87. Yago vs. Flyer, New Values Cup Semi-Finals, April 3rd

Good 1 fall singles match. Yago showed his awareness here helping save 2 near botches from Flyer. Both guys have a future in the business and it started here with this great New Values Tournament. A highlight of May/March and Tuesday shows this year.

88. Forastero vs Audaz Lightning Match, August 17th

Audaz had a string of great lightning matches, this was one of the better ones, but not the best which is much higher up the list vs. Triton. Forastero looked good here as well. Forastero has not been in the big singles matches his cousins Forastero/Sanson have. This still isn’t a big singles match, but obviously practice for one down the road.

89. Titan vs. Angel de Oro, Lightning Match, August 14th

Two great tecnicos fighting it out to see who the better good guy is. A nice upper midcard pairing where both guys seemed like they needed the win. (Titan failing to win titles, Oro losing both his mask/title in 2018) Glad to see something like this instead of two guys who are just thrown together.

90. Kawato San vs. Tiger, Lightning Match, May 8th

Lots of people have dunked on Kawato San since he made his way onto the CMLL roster. I think he has improved a lot and his only singles match of the year(on CMLL TV) is worth checking out. I’m a big fan of Tiger, I like basically everyone on this list though.

91.  Volador Jr., Michael Elgin & Caristico vs. Barbaro Cavernario, Sanson & Cuatrero, September 28th

One of the stand out trios matches featuring Elgin in CMLL in 2018. The main Elgin matches to watch in CMLL this year like all years is Gran Prix(He’s been in all 3 since it’s 2016 revival), but more importantly his singles match with Ultimo the week after.

92. La Park, Atlantis & Mistico vs. Gilbert El Boricua, Negro Casas & Mephisto

Gilbert El Boricua’s debut, better known as Mil Muertes on Lucha Underground of Ricky Banderas in AAA/TNA. He will be working more with CMLL in 2019, but didn’t leave much of an impact in his 2-3 appearances in 2018 which marked his CMLL debut having historically been a AAA talent.

93. Audaz, Stigma & Triton vs. Templario, Okumura & Kawato San, October 15th

Great tecnico team and the up and coming rudo Templario. Great talent in here, even Kawato San/Okumura as team Japan. I think Okumura is underrated even if he doesn’t show up too often on this list. (He was in Gran Prix)

94. Marco Corleone © vs Diamante Azul for the CMLL World Heavyweight Title, January 15th

A good big man match and I think Marco Corleone’s last big singles match on TV before leaving wrestling later in the year.

95. Tiger vs Rey Cometa in a Lightning Match, September 4th

Rey Cometa doesn’t get much to do, but is one of the most solid guys on the roster. This is a great match from him and Tiger.

96. Triton, Esfinge & Soberano Jr. vs. Dragon Rojo Jr., Hechicero & Templario, September 4th

Why not have all these guys on the list again?

97. Stigma, Super Astro Jr. & Rey Samuray vs. Templario, Universo 2000 Jr. & King Jaguar, August 6th

The ‘Super Astro Jr. wasn’t on the list yet, but I wanted him to be’ entry.

98. Atlantis/Octagon/Rayo de Jalisco Jr. vs. Ultimo Guerrero/Fuerza Guerrera/Máscara Año 2000, July 13th

Would feel wrong to not include the match that marked Atlantis’ 40 years in the business. This match relies on nostalgia, but feels in place on this top 100 because of the ending.

99. Felino, Puma, Tiger & Stigma vs. Pantera Blanca Jr., Los Gemelos Pantera I & II, & Stuka Jr., April 16th

Some oddball matches to end on. First a fairly rare atomicos saw Felino, sons Tiger/Puma and unrelated Stigma vs. Pantera outsiders(they work lucha indies, think primarily Texas) and well known CMLL talent Stuka Jr. this was one of the last few matches Puma had before he shockingly departed CMLL.  

100. Blue Panther Jr., Black Panther & Stigma vs. Costa Ricans(Ares, Escualo & Kaiser), September 24th

Another match of outsiders this time from CWE a Costa Rican promotions that at one point was called CMLL Costa Rica(might still have some relation to CMLL). They have their own Youtube where they host content, figured I’d give them a shout out here at the end.

Hope you enjoyed CMLL this year, see you next year!

[eligrantbooks]

gotta vent about my day real quick

highlights of the day

> be professional ghostwriter.

Agreed to edit a 25000 word segment of a finished manuscript for a much loved regular client, who said the MC’s dialogue needed to be punched up. Easy enough. I figured it would take a few hours.

Was briefly excited to discover the manuscript was for a concept I had outlined and written several chapters for a few months ago.

Excitement rapidly dwindles as I realize that beloved client has hired another ghostwriter to write the majority of the book. Which would be fine, except this other ghostwriter has no fucking idea what they are doing.

Formatting is a god damn disaster and I spend several hours just getting the document into a workable condition.

You ever open a word doc, look at the navigation pane, and just see a wall of blank links, because someone applied the header formatting somewhere and then just hit enter a million times instead of using a page break like a civilized god damn human being?

in the middle of this forest of blank headers, actual chapter titles are scattered at random, and also they only applied the header to roughly one out of every five chapters or so, you know, just, when they felt like it. when the spirit took them. when the stars aligned. when the feng shui was right.

Also, apparently they like the way first line indenting looks but don’t know how to make word do that (spoiler: its easy as shit and takes like two clicks) so every once in a while they start manually hitting tab before every line, until they get distracted and stop for a while, luring you into a false sense of security before they remember and start doing it again.

Sometimes, when a scene transitions but they dont want to just end the chapter for some reason, they break it up with spaces. Other times, they like to use asterisks. Once or twice, just for flavor, they throw in one of those page width lines that word makes when you type a line of hyphens.

There is random highlighting in places, for no discernible reason.

Once I have the document formatted in a way I can bear to work with, I start actually reading through it. About the first seven chapters were written by the client. They’re cheesy but solid.

Then I get to chapter eight, and the suspicions i had begun to form while putting the formatting through traction (namely that whoever did this was a fuckwit) quickly crystallized into a shining certainty that my beloved client had mistakenly hired An Ass Clown.

Not just An Ass Clown, but An Ass Clown who thought 50 Shades was a beautiful love story, actually.

And they gave This Ass Clown, this literary reprobate, this paste eating remedial english mother fucker, my outline.

let me clarify that i did not expect to have sole control of this story when i produced the outline for beloved client, and I was okay with that. That’s how it works. If I’d been dead set on writing this myself, i wouldn’t have sold the outilne to beloved client. but it really rubs salt in the wound to have spent hours of my life crafting the bones of this story, which i really liked and was excited to see take shape

and then find out it has been put into the pie fondling hands

of An Ass Clown.

first hint that something has gone drastically wrong: the arrival of completely unnecessary and ridiculous fantasy names for things.

“oh we dont drink coffee in this book. it’s kofee. at least until three chapters from now when i forget and it becomes kofe. Oh, and watch out for those thornaby bushes! I’m going to misspell that one literally every time I use it! It’s entirely possible that this isn’t a fantasy name at all and I just have a small seizure whenever I try to type the word thorn bush!”

second omen of my impending anuerism: phonetically written accents which are so comically stereotypical and inaccurate that native speakers of that accent should be entitled to financial compensation, except they can’t even stick to the stereotype accurately, producing gems such as  “It’s not safe in that there pen with ‘em swine, young miss.” I don’t even know what accent that’s supposed to represent. To top it off these accent abominations are sprinkled in with all the consistency and reliability of a lactose intolerant cheese enthusiast’s bowel movements.

But this, I tell myself, moving on, is not my problem. I just need to punch up the mcs dialogue. It’ll be fine. I can do this. I just need to take this shit: “A fond idea, but I doubt I have that ability.” I joked. “I can’t imagine living without true sunshine. Even the triplet moons must shine less brightly without their sister sun.” and make it… not like that.

Except, and here’s where I start hitting the real roadblock guys

this book is in first person.

essentially, the entire novel is the MC talking.

So sure I can change the spoken lines, but her internal monologue

which is, i remind you, the entire narrative

her internal monologue is going to keep being maggie gyllenhal’s character from The Secretary if her copy of the script had been swapped with just a binder full of sonnets written by a middle school english class during the Shakespeare unit.

I get to chapter ten around three in the afternoon. I have been working steadily, with an unusual degree of focus thanks to my recent adderal prescription, since ten in the morning.

this is where shit begins to go truly bananas.

this is a YA beauty and the beast type fantasy

that good fun indulgent shit that’s almost as enjoyable to write as it is to read

usually. previously. before i had to endure this traumatic twelve hour experience.

Chapter ten is the first big “dinner” scene. this book isn’t being shy about pulling from the source material, but that’s fine. the beast “apologizes” (heavy quotes there) for having earlier used magic to force the heroine to answer his questions truthfully. They talk and almost seem to making progress for a bit, and then have a fight and storm off. Standard stuff.

Except, uh, the beast’s apology is, essentially “Yeah I shouldn’t have done that.” “so you’re apologizing?” “no but it’s the best you’re going to get so deal with it.”

and the headstrong, independent heroine who wears pants and wrestles pigs and dont need no man

just kinda rolls with this. There’s giggling.

They have their big dramatic fight, exit stage left, much angst and todo.

The next morning heroine wakes up to find the beast has (presumably) snuck into her room while she was sleeping and dumped a bunch of new dresses on her. he has also (apparently) replaced her brain with Bella Swan’s more vapid cousin.

She forgives him instantly. Because pretty dresses. She also starts calling him master, because why not. She has, over night, become the darling submissive Tumblr doms dream of.

This is not a bdsm book. I am eighty percent certain it doesn’t even include soft core smut. I’m telling you this so that you understand this transformation was not a contrivance in order to facilitate kinky sex. I have written a contrived set up to a sex scene or two in my day. This is not that. This is Not what is in the outline. I know, because i wrote the outline. It is My Outline.

No, The Ass Clown just… decided to do this. Apropos of nothing. I’m beginning to think the Ass Clown’s decision making process involves whipping pies at a comically large dartboard. And all the options on the dartboard are just “lol whatever”

By the time I get to chapter eleven, wherein our newly lobotomized heroine is “excited to wear a new frock and please the master!” - direct quote I have given up any pretense of editing dialogue and I am just straight up rewriting shit using the previous garbage as a loose outline.

I have eaten, maybe, three bites of a bowl of oatmeal all day. I have not taken a bathroom break since before noon. I have missed my deadline. Beloved client is concerned. I’m sure I can still do this, I just need a few more hours.

the words sound like truth but my soul knows i am a liar

I frantically restructure scene after scene, deceiving myself each time that it will be the last, and I will be able to get this crazy train back on the rails. But this crazy train has no interest in being on the rails. It’s a direct line no stops right off the edge of the cliffs of insanity.

The beast jumps unpredictably from homicidal rage and threats of violence to jokes and flirting as though he did not just declare her his property and threaten to rip her tongue out a few paragraphs ago. Heroine swoons and sighs and giggles regardless of whether she is dealing with Dr.Jekyll or Christian Gray on PCP.

But I’m still sure I can do this. I’ll just adjust these two full chapters to make her appropriately scared and angry, and then replace this weird conversation here with a heartfelt apology from him and an effort to do better. That will totally work. Unless, you know, it turns out that conversation I want to replace only starts out with them joking and laughing together, and turns into him berating and abusing her mid paragraph of a fuckin montage a page later! But, haha! Why would The Ass Clown ever do that? It would be completely irrational, tonally jarring and out of character! Only a seltzer slinging rainbow suspender-ed peanut butter fumbling son of six fucks would do that.

so of course The Ass Clown did that.

It’s eleven at night. I know when I’m beaten.

I inform beloved client that the Ass Clown has bested me and I can do no more.

She is very understanding.

I send her what I managed and I check the added word count while im at it

i added a full 6,000 words to that manuscript just trying to patch up this sloppy motherfucker’s lopsided prose and gossamer thin understanding of narrative structure

son of a bitch had about as firm a grasp of romance as i currently have on the trembling shreds of my sanity.

their grip on character writing could not be more tenuous if they had first dipped the target brand Hulk Hands which I assume they always have on their person into a barrel of adult-film-grade silicon lubricant and then taken their Leapfrog 2-in-1 Leaptop Touch down a waterslide.

Do you know how much I usually make for 6000 words?

$180.

Do you know how much I made for enduring this ass blasting, which I naively believed I could tackle in a matter of hours?

$100.

You owe me $80 Ass Clown. And I aim to collect.

Also I lost my damn mind for a minute and said the words "i dont know shit about fuck my guy” to my actual father on facebook

so there’s that.