#also i do have adhd so maybe the aversion is just from that and not allergy related

[unknownlinguist]

Randomly gonna rant about onions for a minute here. I guess I have what you'd call a "food aversion" to them. I /think/ all types of onions, pretty much.

Although I always detested onions, I always really enjoyed the flavor of garlic in cooking. However I became VERY allergic to garlic over 1-2 years as an adult.

I read that sometimes food aversions are thought to come from subconsciously associating that food with making you sick.

And now I'm wondering if maybe I have an allergy to onions & garlic, but I just never knew about the onions, because i was thoroughly avoiding them! It could make some sense because onions and garlic are both part of the alliums family of plants. But I don't have an aversion to garlic.

Also I noticed recently, that while I would have thought scallions to lay firmly in the 'onion camp', I actually can tolerate scallions for some reason. I mean, I dont LIKE THEM VERY MUCH but. Usually that flavor triggers a strong disgust/gag reflex. It's just weird how that works idk idk! Like why & how is my body deciding this is okay, this is not okay etc in the alliums familly LOL.

[thats-godscomma]

Since rewatching Psych, I've been thinking about how weird and arbitrary Shawn's interests are. Sure, late 2000's writing had something to do with it, and maybe a bit of Henry and Gus's influence, but hearing Shawn be so vocal about how he hates certain popular things or (more importantly) refuses to give them a chance BUT at the same time knowing so many pop culture references, it got me thinking.

What if the reason Shawn has so many pop culture references on hand is because of his eidetic memory, and he doesn't actually have as much of an interest in pop culture? Throughout the show, he actively avoids getting roped into big interests and franchises (see: comic books, soap operas, etc.) despite the fact that he genuinely seems excited once he's part of it. In fact, we don't get to see a lot of Shawn's interests at all unless it's based on an idea.

Take being a bounty hunter, for example. According to him, he's obsessed with the idea, but he doesn't make many references to an actual bounty hunter show or franchise. Instead, he just remembers the one bounty hunter he saw as a child and maybe references a movie or two. Because once he remembers something, he's never going to forget it, or at least not for a very long time.

That's why he thinks in references. Everything is a reference if you have a good enough memory. Everything reminds you of something. If Shawn hears someone make a Spock reference, it's in his repertoire forever. But he wouldn't be caught dead watching the shows or movies because that's just too much information. Why on earth would he endure that?

Of course, it also intertwines with his ADHD. He has bouts of energy and trouble focusing. He can't sit still to save his life, and he hyperfixates...or he would if his memory didn't make him averse to it. So if he doesn't want to hyperfixate on an information-based interest, then what does he hyperfixate on? Physical activities. Instead of learning about his favorite daredevil, he tries to be one himself. When he learns about oil rigs, he doesn't get a book from the library. He tries to find oil in his backyard.

This is also where he and Henry differ regarding Shawn's "potential." Henry is correct when he talks about Shawn's "wasted" potential, but he doesn't understand the toil of having this eidetic memory and ADHD. Here's what I think happened: Henry probably noticed Shawn's stellar memory at a young age, realized he has a gift, spoke with his wife about her eidetic memory, learned that you need to challenge your child's eidetic memory at a young age or it'll go away, started the hat game to make it fun and exciting, but then Shawn's ADHD appeared. Suddenly, it made him much harder to raise (because let's be real, Shawn was not an easy child.) Henry didn't know what he was doing anymore, and since it was the 80's, he didn't have the resources to properly understand his kid's behavior, so he tried to find a common interest, and started training Shawn to be a detective "because kids love cop shows." But Shawn struggled to stay attached to one single interest, and when he grew up, he stopped trying to articulate his problems because his mom (the only person who remotely understood his struggles) left, and he blamed his dad for it.

And academics? Those are a joke because what is the point of studying if he already remembers everything? Until, of course, he needs to apply it to a problem-solving test or writing an essay. Suddenly, he's memorizing a math teacher's answer sheet and copying Gus's report.

Yes, Shawn could have been a great cop. He could be an amazing scientist or anything really. He could have been a national spelling bee champion like Gus wanted to be. Even 15 years later, Shawn remembered exactly what word Gus messed up, how to spell the word, and what letter he made Gus slip up, but he didn't want to be on that stage with Gus because that requires so much learning. And so much time. And so much memorizing. And he refuses to sit still for that long when he knows that overloading his head is going to give him migraines.

Also his "I've heard it both ways" probably comes from the fact that people with eidetic memory can still make lots of mistakes if they don't actively commit something to memory. If Shawn only overhears something, he'll still naturally try to fill in the gaps like everyone else, but because he's so confident in his memory, he just believes what he remembers to be true, leading him to repeat incorrect information with confidence. That could also be why some of his references are incorrect due to mixed-up homophones.

Anyway, this post was supposed to be about how Shawn is just a walking movie reference because his memory won't let him forget quotes, but then I fell into a rabbit hole of the negative effects of having an eidetic memory as a child, and I am very passionate about how Henry actually tried his best, and people need to stop calling him a horrible parent. Love y'all. Let me know what you think.

[luciothedevil]

Polycule ghost x soap x könig x GN reader headcanons

This is basicallyJust my 2 am ramblings tbh sorry if it's not structured I didn't edit lmao

Sleep routine with the boys

Soap tends to be a semi chaotic sleeper in the sense that most nights he fidgets and moves around in his sleep due to his active brain. He's even kicked someone on multiple occasions and when he's asked he says he has no recollection of ever doing it you've made fun of him on multiple accounts for it and have even woken him up in the middle of the night for kicking you to which he'd apologized sleepily and kissed your head before knocking right back out.

König doesn't mind too much he's a deep sleeper and sleeps like a goddamn rock once he's out he's gone it's hard to get him to wake up again at least back at home when he feels safe and like theres no impending doom around the corner he's also a cuddler the person closest to him will be getting a leg thrown around them and pulled closer to him no ifs and or buts soap loves it ghost is indifferent though it is a bit annoying as no doubt he'll get warm since König is a fucking furnace as well as himself usually if it gets to hot he'll push König away into either you or soap who won't mind as much.

Ghost gets extremely annoyed at soaps sleeping habits because he is an extremely light sleeper someone who wakes at the sound of wind scratching against the window, yeah he's that type of light sleeper usually if soap is too active at night he'll find himself leaving the sleep pile and going to lay on the couch to hopefully catch a little rest. Usually he doesn't. Sometimes you'll wake up and find Ghost gone. You'll go downstairs and find him staring listless at a wall. He notices you instantly "why are you up?"

"I think the question is why are you up?" You'd say.

"Couldn't sleep with Johnny being a fuckin' tornado" in that annoyed grumbly tone you'd come to love you'd come down and cuddle with him just sitting in silence or maybe talking about nothing important just to pass the time eventually you'd probably get all exhausted and ghost will direct you to go back upstairs and sleep even if you tell him no he'll still try and get you to sleep remarking he doesn't want you being all cranky in the morning. He'll carry you upstairs if he has to.

He doesn't tell you early on in the relationship but he's used to staying up because he often suffers from nightmares which you'd all later learn into the relationship

Morning routine with the boys

Ghost is always up before all of you probably preparing tea or coffee he would cook breakfast but he sucks at cooking so that's usually up to könig or you if you suck at cooking then könig is the designated house chef as he's extremely good at cooking a meal.

He makes you all try his Austrian dishes. He'll also learn English and Scottish dishes for soap and ghost so they feel at home. He'll also try a hand at your culture's dishes taking notes from either you or your family to make them as authentic as possible.

Soap always compliments König's work and even tries to help him in the kitchen occasionally but it always ends up with soap making a mess and König getting overwhelmed at all the cleaning he'll have to do (König also has adhd which makes it easy to get overwhelmed by tasks) you'll probably have to step in and help out with the cleaning or else König will just stand their overwhelmed trying to figure out what he needs to clean first. You've all learned having soap in the kitchen is mostly a no go but there are still attempts made König just needs to learn to watch soap and chastise him when he's not cleaning up after himself.

PDA

Soap is extremely clingy it doesn't matter If it's you ghost or König he has to be touching one of his partners nearly always he's learnt that while ghost and könig are a bit averse to pda (moreso ghost, könig is just shy and takes a bit to get used to the idea of it) you'll allow it but only in small doses. he knows to be good in public with the boys and tries not to go overboard with you but he just can't help it sometimes, he's got lots of love to give so he'd prosper better if you were someone who liked pda are is at least okay with it in certain aspects.

Ghost doesn't like pda I wouldn't say he necessarily hates it but he's reserved with his affections in public he'll let you or soap hold onto his arm if you really want to and maybe give you guys a peck or two but that's about as far as he goes he's not like soap he won't makeout with you guys in public with no shame like soap would if you guys allowed it. He also doesn't appreciate the strange stares you guys get in public when/if people put the pieces together that no you aren't just friends going out together.

König is a mixed bag it really just depends on how long you've been in a relationship at the start he's a bit averse to pda he's not used to affection in general but he's slowly gotten used to it and even crave it however showing it in public freely is a whole nother can of worms he's kind of envious with the way soap can show you guys off so easily without even thinking twice about it. He tries to take a page from Soap's book and slowly lean out of his shell starting with small pecks on the cheek leading to handholding and all that stuff he gets really proud of himself when he's able to publicly hold onto one of or multiple of you guys without feeling embarrassed or ashamed.

Random/crack headcanons

König is obsessed with physical intimacy. When he gets used to it he absolutely loves anything to do with touch.

Please let him rest on your chest and play with his hair, he absolutely melts into you and becomes putty in your hands hardly able to form a thought other then 'this feels good'

He finds it so endearing when soap plays with his hands; tracing the palms and the lines on his fingers when he gets bored.

Similarly he enjoys it when you trace your fingers across his scars he'll always shudder at the way you touch him so gently as if you could hurt someone as big as him like you think he's fragile. It makes his head spin from how fast his heart pumps. It's such a nice change from the usually harsh things he feels on his skin he can't help but let out soft whimpers every now and again which promptly cause him to blush. Soap definitely teases him for it.

König likes to chill with Ghost; they're similar in the sense that they mostly thrive in quieter spaces unlike soap who loves chaos. They could be reading or watching a show together or simply just sitting in the same room doing different things to them that's considered quality time together even if they don't necessarily interact.

When the boys are too tired to go out, soap will most definitely force you to go outside with him. if you are also an introvert like the other two he'll beg and use puppy dog eyes if he has to its worked on Ghost a number of times he always says "fuckin' hell" but he'll nearly always relent to whatever soap asks this also goes for you too all you have to do is bat your eyelashes at him or beg and he'll give in. you guys almost never have to do that for König as he's almost always willing to go do whatever you and soap want even if he doesn't particularly like going outside.

Ghost sucks at video games, literally all of them no matter how easy the game is he's going to find a way to screw it up he'll play if you want him to. He's just going to suck.

You; Simon get away from the creeper! *cue him blowing up*

You: How the fuck did you die I left for five seconds"

You: Did you seriously just run into that wall?"

Simon: :[

You: *he gets spooked and thinks you're an enemy running across the screen* Simon stop shooting me *you die* Jesus fucking Christ Simon!

He is not having a great time but he loves you so he puts up with it

Somehow soap will always beat you at mortal kombat all he does is mash buttons and yet he still wins no matter what

König loves video games, he loves elden ring and rdr2 and tries to get Ghost to play elden ring just so he can watch him rage.

Soap headbutts to show affection like a cat.

Both soap and König have Adhd just different types.

Ghost will always ask you and the boys about their days during dinner. He likes to know what you guys got up to and if someone was bothering any of you.

____

First post hopefully many more to come but who knows writersblock is a bitch request something if you want I do any mw2 character

[prettysymbiosis]

I'm watching the dan union chapel thing for the first time finally and I have some thoughts - not arguing any points just sharing my takes. Long post 🙃

• I think he was genuinely pissed at phil about the eye emergency thing and the not helping with the event itself thing and he was gratified when we were cheering for him because he just needs a little validation from the girls about his shitty male partner sometimes.

This is just interesting to me because 99% of the time we're like uwu heart eyes they love each other, because they do. But they get genuinely upset with each other too and I don't think they're 100% above trying to get us to take their side even though they're generally very averse to getting too real with us (I do think dan is more inclined to do this overall).

That being said, the stories he shared about phil were genuinely funny and domestic and I'm sure he was sharing them for that reason too.

• I think he was genuinely bothered by the pissyourselffordan thing. I know this could be a hot take because he did mention piss a lot unprompted lol and I DO think he thinks it's funny, but I also know how much he yearns to succeed despite being the deeply unlucky nonbinary popstar that he is, and I think he feels embarrassed and discouraged to some degree when these kinds of things happen.

Like he mentioned that harper collins didn't promote the event on any of their platforms because of it – so he lost whatever exposure and therefore success that would've translated to for his actual work. He kept saying it was a "disaster" and I feel like while he was leaning into the genuinely funny and unique side of it, he wouldn't have chosen for it to go that way.

One thing I will say is that we know dan hates advertising and thinks it's terribly cringe, so when you add that to his inferiority complex this probably felt inevitable and maybe even weirdly welcome.

• I've seen folks discuss the neurodivergent vibes dnp have and some have said dan is more adhd and phil is more autism. Now, disclaimer that I don't think it's usually accurate or helpful to categorize ways of being too concretely and most people have many different things going on, including dnp. But all of that to say that dan reads as very autistic to me sometimes, whereas phil reminds me more of people I know with adhd.

Dan literally says he "can't be normal" during the eyedrops story because of his physical aversion to having his eyes touched. The chapter he reads in his book (the book he's said many times is for his "younger" self) is about working on the need to know exactly how everything is going to happen in any given situation.

This is definitely something that is part of anxiety as well, which he also struggles with, but in the context of all dan's other particularities (his exacting food preferences, the way he obsesses over his interests, that he stims when he's keyed up, etc) it's giving 'tism to me.

Not necessarily saying anything new with any of this but I want to get better about actually posting more :) I'll probably have more takes as I keep watching because I haven't even touched the gender of it all yet

[piratekane]

june reading wrap up

it's that time of the month again, folks.

the mission: read only queer books the side mission: read more than just sapphic books the side-side mission: read something besides fantasy/romance mission status: sick

some stats for those following along at home:

- i read 19 books - i attempted one buddy read (but my wife quit on me, guys) - 100% OF MY BOOKS WERE QUEER - still no audiobooks but there's a freshly peeled month ahead of us

here's the reviews:

the bad: - Written in the Stars by Alexandria Bellefleur, bisexual rep people in the circles i've been traveling lately love this book, but i just... didn't. the characters did a complete personality switch about three chapters in. one of them was a manic pixie dream girl. the other was so flat i dreaded reading her perspective. also the brother had NO boundaries and i hate third act breakups due to miscommunication. 1 star - Something Wild and Wonderful by Anita Kelly, achillean rep people also loved this one but my struggle is that i don't think gay men are it for me and also there were some things about Alexie that i just didn't jive with. there was, yet again, another third act breakup that felt contrived. the writing was good and it was clear Kelly knows hiking and they have a love for it. so i enjoyed that part! 2.5 stars - The Prospects by K.T. Hoffman, trans achillean rep everyone and their freaking mother LOVE this book but it just didn't have enough baseball. like, for a book about the first trans baseball player in the professional league, this book was about his love interest's anxiety. gimme baseball!!! and gene straight-up backstabbed luis, i stg if no one else thinks so. 2.5 stars

the great: - The Skin and Its Girl by Sarah Cypher, lesbian rep this is lit-fic and you should know that going into it. once i got used to the writing style, i was hooked on this book. it's an interesting POV and the love story is really the complex love between a daughter and her mother, and the daughter and get great-aunt. like, my brain is still bending around this one. 5 stars - The Z Word by Lindsay King-Miller, queer rep this book emerged from a tumblr prompt and it's incredible. tons of rep (sword lesbian, motorcycle lesbian, drag queen, bisexual mess, nonbinary pizza delivery person) and just a fun fucking time. it's all centered around Pride weekend and begs the question: just what do you do when a zombie outbreak fucks up your festival? 5 stars - Here We Go Again by Alison Cochrun, lesbian rep two teachers go on a road trip with their terminally ill mentor and gosh, this is a specific setup but it works. i cried at the end like a little baby. the characters were fantastic (my favorite was their mentor) and the writing was superb. there's also really great ADHD rep in this and the growth of each character felt natural instead of forced. 5 stars - The Sunbearer Trials by Aiden Thomas, trans rep i knew this book existed and my cousin loves it but i never gave it a fair shake because i was like ONLY SAPPHIC NOVELS ONLY SAPPHIC NOVELS and was averse to reading anything but that but this one. this one is so good. the setting (a contemporary-fantasy latin america) is so lush and rich with detail. teo, the main character, had me rooting for him from the get-go. and the plot twist was so so good. i requested an advanced copy of the sequel through NetGalley and i'm hoping it'll come there. (i also bought Thomas' other novel, because now he is auto-buy author me) 5 stars.

honorable mentions: - A Swift and Sudden Exit by Nico Vincenty, bisexual rep also born from a tumblr prompt and just so much fun. i recommend purchasing this because it's just too good. time traveler meets and immortal (maybe you've seen the prompt). you won't regret it - Elatsoe by Darcy Little Badger, asexual rep an Indigenous girl who can see ghosts goes on a trip to hunt down her cousin's murderer. the writing is so punchy. i loved this one. - On the Same Page by Haley Cass, bisexual rep best friends become lovers through miscommunication. hilarious stuff. i will also read Haley Cass again because the characters were so funny and the plot was so good. - Lakelore by Anna-Marie McLemore, nonbinary rep this one was a mind bender in a good way. each of the characters were really fleshed out in a fun way. the timeline hopping was a little trippy, but i got my feet under me quick. - A Sweet Sting of Salt by Rose Sutherland, lesbian rep a selkie wife retelling. do i really need to say more?

okay this is long i am congratulating you if you got this far. now i need to go hibernate and slow down because i read too much and this month i want to write!

[spacedykensfw3]

Kinks, limits, and a little about me!

First things first, basic info:

My name is Max

I’m 27

I use they/it/he in my day to day life, but she/her and anything else are totally fine in a kink context!

I’m a nonbinary butch lesbian (but also gray-aroace. The overlap is a mystery even to me.) Also TME.

I was on T from June of 2022 to like, February of 2024 and now I’m back on it as of mid September 2024!

I’m 5’10” and around 250lbs (which is to say, I’m a fat bitch and if you have a problem with that, move along)

I’m very submissive, and I’m a verse (don’t ask me to dom you, it won’t happen, I’m bad at it, and it’s really difficult for me lmao)

Now, the kinks and limits!

Hard kinks you will likely see on this blog:

Orientation play/dykebreaking, or otherwise being forced or coerced into being with men

Incest/fauxcest

“Hard” cnc/noncon/rapeplay

Less frequently, misgendering and forcefem as tied to my being a butch on T

Also less frequently, misogyny/patriarchy play, but after the results of the 2024 US Presidential election this will probably be very, very rare, at least for a while. Just got too real.

Absolute favorite kinks:

Orgasm denial

Edging

Anal

Piss & omorashi/piss desperation

Humiliation/degradation

Other things I’m into:

Bondage

Exhibition/voyeurism

Free use

CNC

Gangbangs

Fisting (even though I haven’t gotten there yet)

Body writing

Objectification

Forced orgasm/overstimulation

Breeding (I may share posts or fantasize about pregnancy occasionally, but I do not actually have any real world desire to become pregnant)

A wide range of pain play including pussy & clit torture

Squirting (which I’ve done one (1) whole time and have yet to replicate, unfortunately)

Blackmail

Monsterfucking

Oviposition/alien pregnancy

Transformation (particularly gender fuckery, like gender swap pills)

Trans supremacy, particularly transfem supremacy

Things I’d like to try:

Hypno

Dumbification/bimbofication

Somnophilia

Catheter play

CNC around kidnapping

Intox play

Soft limits/maybes:

Piss drinking

Enema play (I am EXTREMELY mess averse when it comes to butt stuff despite having a huge anal kink so uh… yeah)

Anything that might risk getting caught by non-consenting party

Food in holes that aren’t my mouth (more likely to agree to this if it's going in my ass than my pussy, I don't want a yeast infection)

Tickling

Firm limits/almost definitely no:

Ass to mouth

Pet play

Blood

Diapers

Hard limits:

Feet

Scat

Intentional vomit (because I know gagging makes your body do stuff sometimes, and I’m hard to gross out; I just don’t want it to be taken out of me or put on me on purpose.)

Race play

Toilet play (ie licking the toilet or putting my head in toilet water or anything like that)

Some irl public stuff (depends on context & risk lol)

Cutting

Necro/snuff (just not my bag)

Cannibalism

IRL bestiality (I am into monsterfucking and have plenty of knotted dildos so y'know)

Weight-based humiliation/degradation, food control, weight control, etc

Underage (which should be assumed, and also isn’t a kink, but I take this extremely seriously.)

This list is not exhaustive, and I'm sure I'll find new kinks I like and hate as time goes on. If something isn't on the list, just ask me, chances are I haven't even thought about it. If you have any questions at all, just ask! I don't bite (without consent).

A little bit more about me:

I'm a huge nerd, and if you follow my main, you know this. Star Wars, Mass Effect, LEGO, a litany of other interests because I have ADHD, you know how it goes.

Tangentially related, one of my long-time interests has been sex education, kink education, and sexual health. So, while I love being horny on the internet, I also love to answers questions about that kind of thing, so feel free to ask!

I'm typically pretty introverted, and I'm really terrible at keeping conversations going. If I haven't responded in a while, it isn't you, it's because I'm bad at being a person. Just nudge me.

[galimatiaskosmos]

I'm feeling strange.

I can’t form connections with people; I can't feel anything for anyone—neither sexually, romantically, nor affectionately, nothing. It’s as if I have to build my own world from scratch, surrounded by a bunch of animals who only think about sex, reproduction, forming families, and having partners.

This has never affected me; being alone has never bothered me. The only thing that has bothered me is that when I need help, I won’t have anyone to lift me up or protect me.

Lately, seeing people have intimate relationships on TV has begun to affect me deeply. It never bothered me before; I would just skip those scenes or ignore them.

I’m trying to find the reason for this. It doesn’t seem like trauma, it doesn’t seem like disgust or aversion… I think it might have to do with a kind of… adjustment disorder?

It’s like I’ve finally realized that most people are different from me, completely different. This feels like a punch in the stomach because while others know what they want in life, know what to do, I have to learn everything on my own, I have to build my own path.

It’s as if I’m the only illithid/devil among animals. They are born, survive, have sex, start families, have kids, and die. I am born and survive, don’t feel the need for a partner, sex, children, or family. But it’s not just that; they bombard me with this constant message: be born, survive, have sex, make a family, have children, and die.

I feel out of place when I see a series/movie/media where characters fall in love and have sex—whether for fun or in a relationship—because it reminds me that I’m out of place—the only devil/illithid among animals.

No, I don’t feel lonely, and I don’t mind being a solitary and virgin person. I also don’t care about finding a friend or a lifelong companion to have sex with or whatever; I just don’t care. Yes, I’ve touched grass, I’ve gone out to live the world, and I’m enjoying life now.

I just wanted to vent, and I wrote this to try to understand this bad feeling I get whenever I see two characters have sex or fall in love in media.

Interacting is exhausting; people are so foolish and irritating, so sensitive. They are just another form of temporary entertainment for me, something to pass the time and calm my boredom from ADHD.

Even the people I like (or at least those I feel closest to), they eventually tire me out, like a toy that stops being fun, or they abandon me for their boyfriends/partners.

It’s a constant boredom, but I don’t mind being alone, I don’t mind having someone or being alone in life. I think what I’m looking for in life is just to feel good—both with myself, because I know I’m different from most people, and to reach a state of well-being—something to alleviate my constant boredom or at least soften it.

For the first time in my life, I’m seeking my well-being; I’m looking for health and trying to escape my toxic family environment. I don’t know what the solution is or if I’m just being dramatic. It’s the first time in 20 years—since I was born—that I’m getting to know myself completely, understanding who I really am, what I am, and that maybe—just maybe—I’m different from most people in many significant ways—seeking companionship, friendship, empathy, remorse, sexuality, mind…

It’s the first time I’m understanding… and recognizing… that I might truly be an illithid/devil among animals in heat—or maybe just a very sick and traumatized human because of the abuse I suffered in childhood (or maybe both).

Whatever it is, I don’t know, and I’m trying to find pleasure in life, trying to live. Maybe I’m like that guy—the psychopath who was considered the most friendless man in the world/the most solitary—since I suspect I have psychopathy/sociopathy/ASPD—for many factors I intend to discuss with my psychologist.

This is my venting—and an attempt to understand why suddenly seeing fictional characters having sex/romance makes me feel sick—and I��ll leave this here for people who might feel like I do. I wish happiness for everyone—especially those like me, who go against the masses/are a minority—and I hope I can live well one day, both with myself and with others.

[bbbexe]

MINORS DNI

I can't draw digital to save my life, so I made my monster!Poppet oc Kalix, traditional. (I have been diagnosed with Vinnel brainrot, there sadly is no cure. Also I didn’t make this species, its heavily based off of a creature from game I used to play called a Kivarok)  Their main fur color is black, with the shaded in parts being a really really dark purple. Their horns and claws are orange with a yellow gradient at the top/end. Similarly, their diamond patterns are orange, and get more yellow that further they are away from their torso. They have 7 white eyes on each side (on the front view i forgot to add one pair you did not see that, nothing is wrong :'))) ) that they can close individually. Will usually close all but their two main ones to not look 'weird' or have people feel like they're staring at them. Kalix's eyes also don't usually have pupils, but they consciously make pupils so that, along with their exaggerated body language/movement, speech, and gesticulation, their emotions can be read more easily while masking in public. Pupils are orange. The first three diamond patterns on Sir are eyes, one being a light yellow color, and the others becoming white. Their eyes / horns / patterns / claws have a slight glow. Has four arms in total. (maybe one day i'll have the urge to try and draw on ibis paint) Kalix's blood is orange :). They also have a mouth on their main head, but really really don't want to scare people they want to be friends with, and keeps it closed and hidden for the most part. They are 6'0 because I wish I was tall :').

I've been completely obsessed with @eldritch-spouse's universe for the past few days and just had to make this. I love love love her writing and really suggest you check out her blog if you like yanderes and monsters >:D Under the cut is some of my oc's info if anyone is interested :D (it's a lot of rambling lol)

Tw mentions of cannibalism and other illegal stuff.

“Nothing can last forever. There isn't any memory, no matter how intense, that doesn't fade out at last.” ― Juan Rulfo This is Kalix! (Named them this purely because the word makes my brain happy) They are a young adult monster, who suffers from loneliness brain damage! With symptoms that are very similar to ADHD. They forget what day of the week it is often, forget words mid conversation, and have a shit short term memory. Often forgets to eat and has a habit of not eating until their tail-head starts to nip/chew (omnomnom) at them. Will constantly loose things, even if they are currently holding said thing in their paw. Brings noise cancelling earbuds around and wears gloves because they are touch averse. Usually has one part of their body moving, leg bopping, playing with their fingers, etc. (heavily projecting here lol, they just like me fr) Are a residual hermaphrodite who flip flops between sex depending on temperature/season (has a slit covered by their fluff) and goes by all pronouns. Demi ace/aro (hahaha slowburn + oblivious to their own feelings, have fun with that Vinnel). Has a hard time understanding sarcasm and understanding their own feelings.

Kalix's tail has been named "Sir" as they thought the word was cool. They usually eat / drink using their head-tail. Sir is Kalix's subconscious/lizard brain, though they don't seem to realize that themself, thinking the tail-head as more of a sibling/pet. (and example for the subconcious/lizard brain thing being, Kalix stubbing their toe, wincing and making a joke, Sir whimpering and getting teary like the crybaby they secretly are) They can consciously control Sir for about 30 minutes before a headache starts cracking open their skull (usually their species would be able to do this all the time, but shhh don't tell the poor child, they'll cry). While talking through Sir, Kalix can mimic many many sounds / voices. It would honestly be easier to list what they can't mimic than what they can. They do have a tell though, as when they speak through Sir, they have a slight whisper echo. Also sadly because of brain injury, they can't cut off Sir's senses from their own. Wagging their tail super fast like a dog when excited / to stim will leave make them super dizzy. Sir also has a taste for human/monster flesh :))) Has some other abilities, like being able to store stuff in their shadow (they do this more often and don't get nauseous from it unless they try to fit a bigger object inside. Kalix usually makes it look like they're pulling stuff out from their chest fluff becuse i thought that would be silly), make shadow apparitions for a limited amount of time, wrap themselves in shadows to hide or stalk their 'prey', and if they really push themself, they can teleport through shadows (within a certain range etc.) at most two times a week. They feel nauseous and get headaches after this, and using their power too often/long or trying to store large objects will make them violently ill. (won't stop the dumbass from overusing their abilities to pull pranks on The Clergymen though) Has little physical strength (for a monster at least), although they can jump pretty high when spooked (hehe get it? halloween pun :> also foreshadowing~) Speaking of Halloween, it's one of Kalix's main hyperfixations. Their hyperfixations include: Halloween, (and by extension) candy making, horror book reading, driving (although ironically if Kalix is a passenger they get extremely car sick), juggling (picks this up after they see Vinnel do it and realize 1. its a fun way to stim and 2. they have four arms. they are terrible at first), baking (which is kinda funny cuz they cannot cook for shit), insect related stuff, (piss poor) sewing, and drawing (they usually like to draw stuff with the combination of gore and plants).

Always has candy corn on them (or it seems that way, it’s just in their shadow. Kalix likes how it looks like they can just summon candy corn out of nowhere).

Also do not let them drive. They will turn it into a car chase. Somehow. (They just like slamming into the cars chasing them and showing off their drifts and sharp turns) They work as a party planner / decorator and will practically beg on their knees to Admin to help decorate for the holidays, especially Halloween. (Admin will have to wrangle them during other holidays to make sure Kalix doesn’t start making them Halloween themed as well...

”Decorate your own apartment Easterween themed, Kalix...” cue Admin’s signature tired eye roll as Kalix gives the smaller human puppy dog eyes) After they learn The Clergy has rent able rooms, they'll definitely start living there. Kalix's room will be completely Halloween themed all year long. They'll also ask Admin if they can help out around the Clergy / help them (Kalix feels bad for Admin and all their responsibilities, but also thinks they're amazing for being so focused and hard working)

Kalix is a complete virgin, having not even touched themself because again, they see Sir as a ‘pet’ or sibling sort of, only that Sir is attached to them. Kalix always chalks up Sir’s similar reactions to them as both them and Sir having grown up together.(if this sentence makes sense? basically they chalk up Sir having similar reactions to how they feel inside to just them growing up being attached to each other) Also them denying full heartedly that they are a crybaby and that they like the taste of human/monster flesh. To be honest, after a few months of being around Kalix, The Clergymen will probably pick up on Sir being more connected to Kalix than the oblivious lizard (idk why but my nickname for them is lizard despite them looking like some lizard/cat/owl/spider mix. it just fits. also all the picures of cute dumb little geckos connect with Kalix in my mind) realizes. Although Kalix sure as hell won’t realize themself, and won’t have any kind of sexual interaction with anyone while under the impression that Sir is a pet. Someone’s gonna have the explain the them eventually or Vinnel might somehow go even more insane.  (is a sadist masochist switch with a gore kink, though it'll take alot for them to admit it (or it would have if not for Kalix's first meeting with Grimbly and realizing they did not want to be a daddy/mommy/partner to the little dude, just a friend) Oh, and before i forget. Kalix unironically eats the most burned, charred, barely edible, can-barely-be-considered-food stuff. Completely unscathed. And they like it. They will eat coal (burning or not) in front of people occasionally to see their confused/grossed out/horrified reactions / to assert dominance. They're Vinnel's poppet for a reason :))))

They lived most of their life alone and when they were gracefully given a year long vacation by their warden, Kalix decided to try and make friends by integrating themself into human society. (Most others where they live avoid them/are afraid of them or occasionally someone will pity them but Kalix really dislikes that and would rather be ignored.) They stumbled upon The Clergy's Eye while stuck in a daydream / thought loop of how they were going to make friends. Going over the persona they had crafted (aka how they were going to mask the anxious, lonely, self conscious, and quiet crybaby they really are) and generally practicing conversations in their head. They were trying to go to the town's most popular bar, but ended up walking into The Clergy's Main floor / bar area (if im not mistaken). Kalix is just about able to handle being around Santi’s / and others pheromones due to years of exposure therapy (not a demon of my sort, will make sense in next post i prommy). (Ima make another post about how they met the TCE staff for the first time because this is hella long, thank you so much for reading if you made it this far. I hope you enjoyed my super self indulgent skrunkly child. I also left some stuff out that I really want to show via my writing later on :D)

[joowee-feftynn]

If you have any, what are your Volleyball and/or Pink hcs?

OOUUUGH 14 year old me would've combusted with an ask like this lmaooo

But either way, I may not remember a lot of them nor really like some anymore but I'll try listing some so here it goes

For Pink:

-In my head she would most likely be capable of having fire powers, both because it sort of makes sense and is slightly hinted to be possible as well as I found it really cool

-She would probably really enjoy food and maybe grow an interest for cooking

-She's scaringly good at climbing

-She's pretty damn athletic, being able to perform impressive stunts and maneuvers like it's nothing, as well as being extremely flexible

-LOVES physical touch. She hugs everything and everyone and loves to be hugged as well. She rarely ever realizes when she's being overly affectionate

-Actually possess behaviors and mannerisms similar to a cat's (this sounds ridiculous but I thought it was super cute and somehow fitting. yes she purrs)

-She developed an aversion to the dark due to her time spent locked in the tower. This could go into the theory that the diamonds essentially starved her since gems are powered by light but I won't get into that here

-She got the Wombo Combo (autism + adhd and developed a special interest in earth things in general)

-She likes having her face touched and caressed :]

-She used to hide things in her hair, and since it was so dense and thick it worked really well

-Really Really REALLY hates being held, because it makes her feel small and vulnerable and that's a no-no for her

-She would looooove naps. she's an eeper and goes snork mimimimimi

-She likes to dance and do silly things for volley to watch. Seeing her laugh made her really happy, and sometimes she even participated in her performances along with the pebbles :D

For Volley:

-When she was first introduced to pink, she used to be a pretty quiet but compliant pearl, always following orders and all that. However, since Pink is a huge enabler (and has no actual idea of how much authority she has over any other gem), she slowly started to develop and show her true personality. She still comes off as nice and quiet, but is actually pretty sassy and quite the jokester too!

-She has a tendency to be passive-aggressive, but she either means it completely or doesn't even realize it. She would stab a bitch if necessary imo

-After joining Little Homeworld, she develops a liking for botany, as well as photography!

-If she ever got the chance, she would have defended pink from the diamonds and even argue with them about how terrible they treat her *stares at this concept art by rebecca sugar*

-Volley isn't as favorable of physical touch like Pink is, but she lets her lay her head on her lap. She likes to rest her head on pink's hair also

-She likes to squeeze pink's cheeks because they're squishy and it makes her giggle (pink does not know how to feel about it)

-She likes being held and carried around by pink. it makes her feel closer to her (emotionally), and she likes being high up there and gets all sassy about it sometimes lol

-She really likes coffee :]

-Sometimes she likes to quietly sit and lean on pink, and of course pink doesn't know how to react to that, so she just lets her be. It's probably some of the most peaceful moments they have together before The Incident

-She is Such a showoff lmao

-She doesn't cry very often, unlike pink, the latter being much more of a crybaby

-And of course she's autistic too

-She used to take pride in being so close to her diamond, which the other pearls found utterly disgusting, but she didn't care because to her, being pink diamond's best friend meant way more than just being her pearl

Aaand we're done I think. didn't expect this to be this long LMAO

Either way, thanks a lot for the ask! I love these two a lot and really wish we got more of them

[the1975attheirverybest]

i was watching 1975 interviews with a friend and we were both like he is so autistic like when he stims on stage or just generally, gets super into a topic and has very set opinions on a topic (like he is very set on the whole rockstar cliche thing among various other topics which comes across at the like set moral standpoint or whatever its actually phrased as on the criteria), complains about not liking certain smells, is very blunt despite it being 'rude', is disliked by most people at first (that one study about nts clocking if you're autistic and thinking you're wierd), how he can be a bit monotone (it really comes through in the GQ interview), how his accent isnt fully northern despite being a full northerner like he has a tiny bit of the posh vibe that i have which comes from the autism, not having a super like clear cut view of gender (which yeah could just be how he was brought up but there are also a lot of studies about how autistic people are more likely to be gender non conforming because gender is a social construct), people with adhd have a high change of also having autism and vice versa, or his (now gone) attachment to that coach bag (a lot of tests ask about having a comfort item or a thing that you have to have or you feel wierd without it and he has literally been on stage with it like surely you dont need it while performing), also the coke fixation like i admire how committed he is and same with the malbec like i have taken to fixating on fruit twist fanta but most places dont have it

bonus trait of the dinosaur arms thing like even in the photos of him with taylor hes doing it (could also just be gay and limp wrist)

obviously not actually diagnosing him but its nice to be like he does the thing that i do which is autistic that fun and cool and also being friends with other autistic people and coming to the realisation of oh we are both autistic its become a lot easier to recognise trait in other people - 🐸

Ohhh woooooowww you know what? You just blew my mind with the gender-non-conforming statistic I feel like that just a) furthers my belief that gender is just a socio-political construct and b) helped me better understand autistic people’s relationship to social norm (this might be out of context but I have a cousin who is autistic and her dad is always forcing “femininity” on her so it’s a whole thing for our family etc etc).

And yeah I def see those traits in Matty though I’d never thought of them to be indicators of anything other than maybe ADHD and his chaotic nature lmaoooo. But you’re so right. I think in addition to smells he might have mentioned some texture aversion at one point but I can’t remember. What a fascinating fella. Love him even more if that’s even possible now.

[joeydrewkindaselfhoodirlthing]

i think you’re a panromantic lesbian who leans more towards men, but you’re still gay enough to like women and use them for your benefit, only to discard them when you’re done. you’re asexual ofc because nobody wants you, but you also think too highly of yourself, so you probably say “i don’t want it done to me” yet you’ll abuse people and use that asexuality excuse so nobody can come after you. i think your gender is demigirl or something because you’re not quite 100% (you’re 20% woman, 30% mental unstable, 10% delusional, 20% broke and in the slums, 18% disappointment, and 2% “man” or however you claim to be a boy). i think my math is right. anyway, you probably dabble a lot in neopronouns and i feel like you’re the type of person to use maybe nya/kawaii pronouns because you think you’re asian, although you’re painfully white passing and show absolutely no features of being asian, so your claims are either untrue or so minimal that you don’t have the right to label yourself as asian. get a dna test, freak. i hc your race to be white and irish. your religion is atheism because you probably believe you yourself to be a god when you’re not. some fun little hcs: you dye your hair every week because your “alters” want new hair colors, you only eat potatoes and corn. your “vessel’s” mother locks you up in a cage on the weekends for being a disappointment. you have to eat from a dog bowl, and if you don’t, you get kicked in the face (that’s why you look so deformed). you paint your nails pink to “break female stereotypes” when really you’re just solidifying them. your mental illnesses are adhd, schizophrenia, npd, ptsd (from your “abusive” partners and “horrible” childhood that made you form a “system”) and let me think… definitely not did/osdd and not bpd, i mark those off. you probably can’t drive and want to claim disability benefits so you don’t starve to death. oh right you also have an ed, i believe that. worthless piece of shit. you probably were severely neglected as a child because nobody could ever love a fucked up creature like you. i think these are all canon tbh, not just headcanons!

Joey is not panromantic and is not a lesbian. Ink is asexual because of trauma and developed sexual aversion disorder because of it. Ace is not a demigirl. Joey uses only ink/inks and a/ace for pronouns, which are neopronouns. Ink is Asian and not white. Joey isn't an atheist if you looked at the carrd ink has. Joey is a pagan luciferian angelhist Jew. If Joey would do that, we'd probably lose most of our hair from bleach, so, no, ink doesn't do that. A barely dyes ink's hair. We barely ever have potatoes and corn. She might be a shit mother, but she doesn't do anything even close to that.

A few of us alters like to paint our nails. Joy does as well, but ink is not a female. Joey has ADD, not ADHD. Schizophrenia is actually fairly likely as that runs in our bodily family on our bodily mother's side. No way in hell does Joey have NPD. It would be C-PTSD, which, yes, Joey does have. Clearly, ink has DID, and BPD is just a possibility. Yes, Joey can't drive. Lessons start in June/July around here, and you must be 16 for that. An age we turned bodily in December. Quite a few people in our system have them. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Do not call them headcanons. That's severely disrespectful. 🏢

[divine-construct]

pre-facing this by saying there are always two answers from two of our headmates, one who is apl & plato-favorable & demi-alterous, and one who is apl & plato-averse/repulsed (probably more what you’re looking for). this means we have different opinions and experiences, but i thought i’d talk abt being apl-favorable too in case that might help :3

What does being aplatonic mean to you personally? — Basil: I don’t feel the need to make friends with anyone. I’m demi-alterous & plato-favorable, so if someone approaches us, and we get close, I start considering them a friend at some point. However, while I want to stay close to them, that’s all I want. I don’t really care if we’re friends, or siblings, or maybe even romantically involved; What counts is that we’re close. Essentially, being apl, to me, is not wanting to make friends with specific people, and let the process happen naturally instead. — Naoto: I don’t want to/feel the need to make friends. Not with specific people, and neither with anyone in general. I don’t mind acquaintances, familial relationships, or those of the romantic type, but I do not want any friends.

Are there any parts of your identity that you feel are connected to your aplatonic identity? This could be the aforementioned neurodivergency, another queer identity, or anything else you can think of. — Basil: It very much goes hand in hand with me being a romance-favorable (it’s complicated with my opinions on sex) aroace, and I believe these go hand in hand with my neurodivergency (namely ADHD & autism, not social anxiety, depression or ocd). — Naoto: My aplatonicism is very much connected to my aroaceness, and our ADHD, as well as autism. I do think it’s probably connected to our trauma/DID as well.

Can you describe your experience with friendship growing up (how you felt about it, if other people said anything, etc.)? — Hard to say as a system,, we never had many close friends, and never had the desire to make friends with specific people. Friendship’s always just happened to us, but never on our behalf. We used to get teased/lowkey bullied for not having a lot of friends, but it never bothered us.

What tropes and storylines do you wish you saw less of in media? — We both agree on this; we don’t like how everyone always is supposed to have friends, and if they don’t, they’re a freak and need to work on themselves so people start wanting to be friends with them. Basically, the picture that no friends = there’s something wrong with you (and that something has to be changed).

What tropes and storylines do you wish you saw more of in media? — We also both agree on this: Friendless people who start friendless, end friendless, and are not portrayed as broken. People who don’t want friends, yet are not broken. Maybe even someone who gains a friend, realises that they don’t want any friends, and is able to peacefully resolve it. Stories in which friendship isn’t the center, other than stories about romance or simply sex. Non-friending apl people!!

Imagine your ideal (but semi-realistic) living situation and life. You are not in school. You have a job of your choosing. You are content. How often do you interact with other people in this scenario, and who are they to you? — Basil: I’d like to live with our qpp, so social interactions with him every day <3 Plus, I’d like to see/talk to my close friends at least once or twice a month. As few as possible social interactions with people I don’t know (except maybe on the internet), and maybe a few meet ups with lose friends each year. — Naoto: No qpp. No friends. Maybe a romantic partner, but I doubt I’ll ever have one. I’d like to live a town or so away from them, close, but not too close. We’d see each other once or twice a week. As few social interactions as possible with strangers, except on the internet. I wouldn’t mind work collegues as long as we only see each other for work.

Would any aplatonic people be willing to answer a few questions about their identity and experiences?

I’m planning on writing an aplatonic character and there’s only so much insight I can get from the outside looking in.

You can comment, repost, send an ask, or DM your answers, and feel free to skip any questions you don’t want to answer, especially if it’s too personal.

Questions below:

What does being aplatonic mean to you personally?

Are there any parts of your identity that you feel are connected to your aplatonic identity? This could be the aforementioned neurodivergency, another queer identity, or anything else you can think of.

Can you describe your experience with friendship growing up (how you felt about it, if other people said anything, etc.)?

What tropes and storylines do you wish you saw less of in media?

What tropes and storylines do you wish you saw more of in media?

Imagine your ideal (but semi-realistic) living situation and life. You are not in school. You have a job of your choosing. You are content. How often do you interact with other people in this scenario, and who are they to you?

[tolkien-feels]

Just wanted to know, since elves don't touch much, do you think an elven husband and wife would kiss or be romantic?

(Like, they may have kids and obvs they touch, but like... do you think they touch whenever they feel like touching each other, or do they ask?)

Anon, I ended up writing you an essay-length post, even though I specifically decided to answer you right now because I thought it'd be a quick answer 😅 So, under a cut for length

Tl;dr: I don't see why elves would not do All The Romantic Things™️! It just might look Weird to mortals, maybe.

First of all, unless I'm forgetting something (which is entirely possible - adhd brain sieve is a problem), it's not canon that elves don't touch much. If so, it's up to how you want to headcanon it. I will share my headcanon but just do imagine whatever you feel like imagining :3

I do happen to headcanon elves aren't very touchy-feely, but I headcanon this in a very specific way. You know how when you are 6 years old one year seems to take forever to pass, because that's 1/6 of your entire lifetime - while if you're 20, that same length of time is only 1/20 of your life and therefore seems to pass much faster? I take that logic and apply to elves - I headcanon their perception of what "a long time" is is wildly different from that of mortals, and this only increases as they get older.

So the way I headcanon it, elves feel like they touch each other relatively frequently - they are neither touch-averse nor end up touch starving themselves. But from a mortal perspective, long stretches of time seem to go by without elves touching each other, because "frequently" is defined according to your perception of time.

By that same logic, a 50 year old elf is probably much cuddlier than a 1500 year old elf - much like to us, children seem impatient. "Frequently" for them feels different. (Plus, I imagine elves have something akin to teenage hormones at some point? Can't really imagine how that would work, though, given their wacky growth patterns.)

On top of all that, there are individual needs and preferences, like humans. Both inexplicable idiosyncrasies and things like neurodiversity-related touch-aversion. And then on top of that, there are many elven cultures, and they are ever-changing, and I imagine that impacts elves on two levels - first, the culture they were socialized in, and then whatever the current culture is (a bit like expats, but the displacement I'm picturing is in time rather than in place.)

All of this to say my headcanons tend to be very specific to each couple, because there are way too many factors involved. I think someone more organized than me could probably come up with a general theory, but I haven't been able to yet.

Even within the same couple, I headcanon things like how long they have been together, and current life circumstances affect how they tend to interact. Think of how much a human relationship can change dynamics over the course of a life together, and multiply that by centuries.

Also, contrary to a lot of headcanons I see around, I don't headcanon number of children is in any way attached to how touchy-feely a couple is. Elves can actually choose when to have children, so I don't see why these things would be related.

Anyway, to address your actual question - I do very much think elves are romantic with each other just for the sake of being romantic. And while I think consent would be very strongly emphasized in elven culture, I think what that looks like really depends on the situation. If you have eternity to learn your spouse's expressions and body language, and you also have mystical quasimindreading skills, I don't think you're going to verbally ask every time you want to like, quickly kiss the person you've been married to for millennia.

But I do think, on average, elves would find it romantic to be asked about things, especially when they are still courting rather than marriage - not only because of boundaries but because it seems on brand for elves to want to add Eloquence™️ to everything. But then again, I think this would also apply to friendship - I think friends start out as actively trying to learn each other's preferences, and over time they settle into certain expectations that only require confirmation occasionally.

On that note, learning is, I think, emphasized by pretty much all the elves we know (even if it's learning their land very well rather than theoretical pursuits), so I cannot imagine an elven couple would not actively set out to learn each other's needs, wants, boundaries, etc. They are probably much more intentional about this than mortals, because they've got plenty of time for that.

We also have to remember that elves seem to prize romantic love a lot, culturally speaking. I think they would be very fond of anything that is associated with romance.

Now, would a random mortal recognize elven romance as being romantic? Sometimes, but not always, I think. Mortals would probably struggle to understand things like the romance of spending a century away from your spouse so each of you can do your own thing. They might also not be too into "Hey what if we stared at each other motionlessly and silent for a really long time" or (and this is probably a thing that the Noldor would do) "Let's go around Naming things together."

But then, I also don't think elves would particularly understand mortal things like "This food sucks but I will say I love it because I noticed how much effort you put into it" or even the concept of bouquets ("Take them to the flowers yourselves!!!" scream the elves. "OH MY GOD why would you kill so many plants for a frivolous reasons, this is not romantic, it's disturbing!!!! One flower might be okay, and a wreath every now and then is a common indulgence but oh my god don't kill a hundred flowers for someone!!!")

But elves and men do have more things in common than not, and the few elf-mortal relationships we know seem to have no greater trouble understanding each other than you would expect given people from different cultures, which leads to think the elves would conceptualize romance in a really similar way to us, actually.

I would expect, generally speaking, that as long as you account for the differences in the scale of time, we would find elven spouses pretty unremarkable 🤷 Like. They hug, they kiss, they go on dates, there's probably nothing uniquely alien about it. I don't think, on the other hand, we would understand exactly what marriage between two Valar is like. But I headcanon love of all kinds, and how it is expressed, is one of the things the Children of Iluvatar have most in common.

[flowersandfilms]

i am also gonna be rambling a bit but woo hoo so heres some headcanons i have for characters overall bc why not (some of these i talked about with friends and stuff so if you see a recap of a convo we've had just know it has altered my brain chemicals and is now fact in my mind. (also NOBODY in jjba is nt besides maybe idk funny valentine or something) ok onto the hcs:

Giorno!!: Autistic. this boy. this lovely young man. he is so autistic. the main hc here however is that he is very sensory seeking and loves loves loves physical touch. he went through most of his life not hugging others because he didnt know how to initiate due to not recieving any real attention as a kid. This makes him seem very touch averse. However, the second someone (my moneys on Narancia) randomly hugs him, expectingly he latches on and gets super super happy because he likes the feeling of being hugged a lot. he also does the grabby hand thing to signal to others he needs touch because again, he doesnt know how to initiate. (he mainly does it to Fugo though because theyre in love)

Fugo 🫶: Also heavily autistic. he also seems to be touch averse but is really just highly anxious with purple haze and his terrible intrusive thoughts so he usually strays away from touching people but once he finds out Giorno really likes touch he lets him hug him more often and also lays his head on his shoulder sometimes as an energy recharge

Johnny: ok first off: he is autistic with severe anxiety and also BPD. now THATS out of the way!! (before he got tusk obv) He would bite his nails, a lot. it was a genuine issue throughout his life, even before Nick's death he would bite them out of anxiety or as an attempt to mask his emotions when his dad was yelling at him and so on. He also gets hyper attached super super quickly due to not getting much (positive) attention as a kid and it still fucks with him a LOT. Especially after Gyros death bc he was his first fp and genuinely had a super super hard time coping with that. (i have so many johnny hcs but thats basically its own post so ill hold off)

Gyro: autism, adhd, funny guy syndrome the list goes on!! but yes Gyro is such a silly guy but at the same time has an extreme sense of justice and usually needs johnny to talk him down from impulsively jumping into situations that could hurt him. (i also have more for gyro but again, seperate post)

thats all i have energy for tonight tbh but these are some of my favs and these hcs have been rollin around in my lil noggin so i had to put it somewhere!! also yes, i do highly believe all of these characters are autistic and if you dont think so!! argue with a wall i guess!!

[allthislove]

There's merit in self diagnosis (especially for people without access to good Healthcare/mental Healthcare and because of stigma that can come with formal diagnosis), but TikTok has literally everyone convinced that they're neurodivergent because of behaviors that are typical. There's a reason why diagnosis has thresholds. Like, a lot of people are bothered by certain sounds or smells or whatever, but what makes it a sensory issue is when it's chronically disruptive or you need special ways to cope with how the sensation effects you. People will hear "sensory issue" and be like "omg when I was 5 I couldn't stand the way the glue felt on my fingers in class!" Yeah, that could be a sign of autism, or you... just didn't like the way the glue felt.

Neurotypical doesn't mean "automaton with no variance from the other automatons". People have different things that they like, that bother them, that they don't understand and do understand, that they are averse to. And yes, that can make diagnosis difficult, but that's why there are diagnostic thresholds.

Just like being afraid isn't the same as having an anxiety disorder.

Just like being sad isn't the same as having clinical depression.

Maybe you just didn't like peas. Maybe you just bounce your leg when you're bored. It doesn't necessarily mean you're autistic or ADHD or both. It can help you recognize that you might be neurodivergent in some way, but these are not diagnostic. They're just quirks, and anyone can have them.

Neurotypical doesn't mean you are a cookie cutter person with the exact same temperament as all the other neurotypical people. I see far too many TikToks like "Omg I liked to color code my crayons when I was a kid! I was so (insert diagnosis)". A lot of kids color code. You spend a lot of time in elementary school and daycare/preschool learning about colors and sorting. Those are developmentally typical things to do. That's why schools aren't just calling every kid who hums and daydreams ADHD. It's developmentally normal for children. It's why schools don't call every kid who is afraid of loud noises autistic. It's developmentally typical for young kids to be afraid of loud noises.

Further, not everything about a neurodivergent person is because they're neurodivergent. Their neurdivergence might affect the way they communicate or how they react or something, but they are still people. Just like there's a difference between a true concern (I am worried that my son has diarrhea today) and an irrational anxiety (I am worried that my itchy arm is really skin cancer, though there's no evidence and low risk.) Neurodivergent people can just like things or not like things or do things. Just because an ND person does something, doesn't mean everyone who also does that thing is ND.

I say this as a person with a lot of diagnoses. Self diagnosis can be very helpful. I knew I was OCD before anyone told me professionally. I knew I had PTSD before my therapist confirmed it. But you also have to recognize when symptoms overlap and they don't apply to you. OCD makes me feel paranoid, and schizophrenia also makes people paranoid sometimes, but my symptoms don't align with schizophrenia because my worries aren't based in delusion and I don't experience psychosis. (Although I'm aware that some anxiety disorders and depressive disorders can coincide with psychosis and mania, but these aren't things I experience.)

Also be mindful that social media makes neurodivergence and mental illness seem trendy and cute. I remember when it was popular on this sight to claim everything was an anxiety disorder. Self diagnosis can be helpful, but be mindful that it's not always accurate.

[phoenixkaptain]

The amount of times in the show that Conan just straight up becomes unresponsive because he’s freaking the fuck out is, to be honest, a bit concerning. It seems to happen more as the series progresses, but it certainly appeared a few times early on.

Which, one could say that it’s just like when he’s deducing and doesn’t notice people talking to him. Or when he’s so busy staring at soemone that he doesn’t notice people talking to him. But, honestly? These scenes are concerning too.

He doesn’t realize people are talking to him until they call his name enough to jostle him out of it. When he’s staring at people, this is really concerning! He’s so focused on the person he’s looking at, most often a literal murderer, he tunes out the rest of the world. Most people, if they’re looking at someone realy hard, will hear people, they’ll just be distracted in answering. They’ll hear the voice and the tone and respond to those instead of the words. The fact the Conan doesn’t hear them at all, leaves us wondering how focused he is on them. If he’s so focused that his ears are ringing with the sound of his thoughts, which are so loud he has no choice but to focus on only them, well that leads to panic attacks.

Most of the time, when Conan or Shinichi are deducting, it’s shown as a very short thing. His mind jumps to make the connections, because his mind probably connects things that other people’s minds wouldn’t. Most scenes are short, because Conan/Shinichi figures out one part, then the second part, then the third and so on in little bursts. Something will be said and his mind makes a connection with something else that was said and he deduces things from that, which sounds like a long process but could be a quick as snapping your fingers. The scenes where Conan is thinking on something and the connections aren’t coming and he doesn’t notice other people talking to him are a bit rare. While Conan can figure things out if he thinks through them long enough, his brain isn��t really made to do that. It takes him so much longer and he has to put himself so deep in his thoughts that, even if he did hear people call for him, he wouldn’t respond because there’s that feeling of “It’s on the tip of my tongue and if I say nothing and don’t move and don’t breath and keep circling this thought in my head, the connection will come.”

You could say that this is just an overly long explanation on why I think Conan/Shinichi have signs of having ADHD or something similar to it (autism is an option). Why, I could end this by saying that even Conan’s seeming adversity to being touched, ie., looking uncomfortable when he’s drawn into hugs and getting stiff-backed even when Ran hugs him, could be a sign of such mental health because people with ADHD and autism don’t like touch. One of the reasons they don’t is because it’s sensory. It’s another thing their brain has to focus on, on top of everything else it pays attention to, and it’s stressful to suddenly have to think about something you didn’t expect. This also explains why he’s seemingly fine with Kogoro lifting him up by the back of his shirt: his mind relaxes the body because it knows being stiff would end up with the body being hurt, either from the collar digging into his neck or that it would be hard to time when to relax since Kogoro picks him up and drops him sporadically. But, also, it’s not skin contact. Conan wears clothes that don’t bother him, clothes that he seems to forget he’s wearing because he hardly ever takes note of them. He puts on clothes in the morning and forgets about them for the rest of the day, which means we can reasonably assume that he’s fine with the texture of the cloth, meaning even if it did get pulled uncomfortably tight, the tightness would be the issue, not the clothes.

There’s also, which I’ve been trying to figure out how to word it jokingly for a while, how he doesn’t mind the touch of animals. Conan refuses to hug most people, tending to get dragged into them, but he opens his arms willing for animals. Whether it’s Jirokichi’s dog, Lupin, jumping on him or the many cats in the series who approach him, Conan is fine picking up and giving and receiving physical affection from them. People who are touch-averse often turn to animals, perhaps without even realizing it. A part of being human is needing social interactions, one of which is physical touch. The good thing about humans is that, as social animals, we don’t have to get touch from another human, almost any other animal makes our dumb mammal hindbrain happy. Touch-averse people still need touch, even if it isn’t from other humans, so they often find it through dogs or cats. Conan seems to be one of these people, if we compare his reaction to animals touching him to his reaction to people touching him. (Of course, a part of it is probably that it’s easy to tell when an animal is going to jump on you or ask for affection. You have a bit of time to brace yourself, so to speak. Telegraphed movements aren’t very common in Detective Conan, since it deals with murder and sporadic movements, making obvious-signals of animals all the better for someone touch-averse.)

Perhaps, I’m jumping to conclusions. But, I, as well as other people with ADHD, can remember times where we had a similar light bulb moment to Conan’s. Someone will say something and our brain hits the gas and takes us to our destination. But! There’s also that sometimes, all it takes for Conan to piece something together is for him to say the words outloud and ask the question. This is very common for people with ADHD. Just thinking it leaves the thought it the tangle of the rest of thoughts that exist. Saying it aloud often triggers the brain to put more focus on what you’re saying. It’s a neat trick, maybe it works for neurotypicals too, I wouldn’t know.

Was this just a long, convoluted essay on why I think Kudou Shinichi has ADHD or autism? Yes. It was. Was this a too-long essay I wrote because I’ve been psychoanalyzing this character for almost ten years? Yes, that is the case. Are there more things I could add, like how Conan/Shinichi doesn’t understand why other people aren’t as in to solving crimes as him, how he seems baffled by the very idea that he should put the woman he’s in love with over figuring out who killed this guy, how he doesn’t seem to recognize romantic signals unless they aren’t directed at him, and how he doesn’t understand why people get mad at him for telling the solution to magic tricks? Sure. Couldn’t I also add that many animals like neurodivergent people, cats because they don’t like being stared at and pestered, dogs because dogs are empathetic and like hugs, which could be why Conan attracts animals to him so often and those animals like him a lot? I could.

This got out of hand, I’m done now, I promise.