#also i do have adhd so maybe the aversion is just from that and not allergy related

[astralleywright]

Do you think you'd ever watch C2 or would you purely stick to Crit Recap Animated for it?

i don't know! i go back and forth on it a lot. For context I watched up to episode 37 and am pretty heavily spoiled on the rest of it. but then i put it down to watch C3, and found myself strongly preferring it. I'll admit, C2's very wandering, "let's do my backstory arc and then we'll do yours" style of storytelling isn't really something i'm crazy about. My favorite part of what I watched by far was the Iron Shepherds arc, because it forced them to focus on something other than their own best interests and react to circumstances outside of their control. player control is important for dnd, of course, but a story where the main characters are almost always in control is often very boring. to me. (you know in retrospect, all the claims that BH don't care about anything or have any motivations are very funny, bc in the parts of C2 i watched the Nein were the most listless, "what the hell, sure," heroes ever lol. except Nott and Caleb, but they were working towards very long term goals they wouldn't even talk about, as opposed to "I want to follow the trail of this assassin that attempted to kill my leader" or "I want to get into this library in town to do research about my hard to control powers and dreams, key word this town".)

so like. I like the Nein well enough (although i will say their parts in C3 did not exactly endear me to them more), but idk if i like them another 400 hours enough 😭 that's a lot of time! there's a lot of other things i'd like to watch, or read, or make, that i would probably enjoy more!! part of me wants to do it anyways bc i'm certain there are parts i WOULD enjoy a lot, and interesting lore to learn about, and even a sense of completionism or that i'm not a "real" CR fan that can speak with authority on the show if i don't, but another part of me is like... 400 hours...

[thats-godscomma]

Since rewatching Psych, I've been thinking about how weird and arbitrary Shawn's interests are. Sure, late 2000's writing had something to do with it, and maybe a bit of Henry and Gus's influence, but hearing Shawn be so vocal about how he hates certain popular things or (more importantly) refuses to give them a chance BUT at the same time knowing so many pop culture references, it got me thinking.

What if the reason Shawn has so many pop culture references on hand is because of his eidetic memory, and he doesn't actually have as much of an interest in pop culture? Throughout the show, he actively avoids getting roped into big interests and franchises (see: comic books, soap operas, etc.) despite the fact that he genuinely seems excited once he's part of it. In fact, we don't get to see a lot of Shawn's interests at all unless it's based on an idea.

Take being a bounty hunter, for example. According to him, he's obsessed with the idea, but he doesn't make many references to an actual bounty hunter show or franchise. Instead, he just remembers the one bounty hunter he saw as a child and maybe references a movie or two. Because once he remembers something, he's never going to forget it, or at least not for a very long time.

That's why he thinks in references. Everything is a reference if you have a good enough memory. Everything reminds you of something. If Shawn hears someone make a Spock reference, it's in his repertoire forever. But he wouldn't be caught dead watching the shows or movies because that's just too much information. Why on earth would he endure that?

Of course, it also intertwines with his ADHD. He has bouts of energy and trouble focusing. He can't sit still to save his life, and he hyperfixates...or he would if his memory didn't make him averse to it. So if he doesn't want to hyperfixate on an information-based interest, then what does he hyperfixate on? Physical activities. Instead of learning about his favorite daredevil, he tries to be one himself. When he learns about oil rigs, he doesn't get a book from the library. He tries to find oil in his backyard.

This is also where he and Henry differ regarding Shawn's "potential." Henry is correct when he talks about Shawn's "wasted" potential, but he doesn't understand the toil of having this eidetic memory and ADHD. Here's what I think happened: Henry probably noticed Shawn's stellar memory at a young age, realized he has a gift, spoke with his wife about her eidetic memory, learned that you need to challenge your child's eidetic memory at a young age or it'll go away, started the hat game to make it fun and exciting, but then Shawn's ADHD appeared. Suddenly, it made him much harder to raise (because let's be real, Shawn was not an easy child.) Henry didn't know what he was doing anymore, and since it was the 80's, he didn't have the resources to properly understand his kid's behavior, so he tried to find a common interest, and started training Shawn to be a detective "because kids love cop shows." But Shawn struggled to stay attached to one single interest, and when he grew up, he stopped trying to articulate his problems because his mom (the only person who remotely understood his struggles) left, and he blamed his dad for it.

And academics? Those are a joke because what is the point of studying if he already remembers everything? Until, of course, he needs to apply it to a problem-solving test or writing an essay. Suddenly, he's memorizing a math teacher's answer sheet and copying Gus's report.

Yes, Shawn could have been a great cop. He could be an amazing scientist or anything really. He could have been a national spelling bee champion like Gus wanted to be. Even 15 years later, Shawn remembered exactly what word Gus messed up, how to spell the word, and what letter he made Gus slip up, but he didn't want to be on that stage with Gus because that requires so much learning. And so much time. And so much memorizing. And he refuses to sit still for that long when he knows that overloading his head is going to give him migraines.

Also his "I've heard it both ways" probably comes from the fact that people with eidetic memory can still make lots of mistakes if they don't actively commit something to memory. If Shawn only overhears something, he'll still naturally try to fill in the gaps like everyone else, but because he's so confident in his memory, he just believes what he remembers to be true, leading him to repeat incorrect information with confidence. That could also be why some of his references are incorrect due to mixed-up homophones.

Anyway, this post was supposed to be about how Shawn is just a walking movie reference because his memory won't let him forget quotes, but then I fell into a rabbit hole of the negative effects of having an eidetic memory as a child, and I am very passionate about how Henry actually tried his best, and people need to stop calling him a horrible parent. Love y'all. Let me know what you think.

[linkons-most-wanted]

Love your high school AU! How would you rank the LIs with respect to their overall academic performance and considering how much they actually care about it? (I feel like Zayne would be first place but Sylus is kinda competitive so...)

Oooh I love this question!

Smarts-wise, Sylus and Zayne are neck-and-neck. They have different kinds of genius. Sylus is intuitive and Zayne is methodical.

I think Sylus is simply too ADHD to care enough about grades to have his GPA reflect his intelligence, though. 😂 Teachers that vibe with him (by having reasonable and non-shitty policies) would be giving him A+ across the board, whereas in other classes if he thinks the homework is stupid he's just not going to do it. So he'd be the classic student where the teachers bemoan that he's "not living up to his potential". But he writes some damn good poetry.

Now Zayne, on the other hand--give him a rule and he's going to follow it. The man simply cannot do anything half way, and he's masochistic enough to do what needs to be done to get the grades (lookin' at you, med school). As a quintessential type five, he simply will not rest until he knows All The Things. The grade is secondary--if he can't ace the test, then he doesn't know All The Things and so he must study more.

Caleb's the one that's going to get really competitive. He's as ADHD as Sylus, but you think he's gonna let pipsqueak see Zayne be better at something than him without a fight? Hell no! Caleb will be casual about it at all times, of course, but as we know from Pathless Realms he was a top student at the Aerospace Academy. He's also going to subtly avoid topics he might not be as good at, packing his schedule with things that come easily to him. (Very type seven of him.)

I'm totally blanking on who made it, but I saw a lil comic about Zayne and Caleb where Zayne had no idea he was top of the class and Caleb was checking the rankings daily and trying to give Zayne a hard time, but Zayne was totally oblivious, and I just thought that was spot on. 😂

Xavier is definitely next up--he's mentioned that he got good grades in subjects he cared about, but not the others. So, he's up there, but def has a B- or a C+ floating around in there 😂 He's also maybe fallen asleep during a midterm or two...

Then we hav our dear fishie. Rafayel is as averse to being told what to do as Sylus, but completely unmotivated by status or money. Any time spent in class is time not spent on art. Any time studying is time not spent on art. Why exactly do I have to do anything that's not art? seems dumb. I'm sure he's got his teachers begging him to turn in the extra credit assignments so they don't have to fail him for the year because wow yeah his art is incredible.

It's not that Rafayel isn't smart. He picks up on more than people realize--as his teachers find when they try to call him out for doodling in the back of class and he immediately gives a complete and correct answer. But if he got really into a painting this week, yeah he's gonna skip the homework. And maybe he'll put in an effort for 70% of the test, but that's probably good enough, and he's gonna circle C for the rest of the questions and go back to doodling (probably MC) in the margins of his notebook.

Art history though? He can teach that class--and he does. Substitute teacher who? Just say something vaguely controversial and you can't stop Rafayel from talking about it. All that math stuff is for someone else to figure out. (Poor Thomas 😂)

Rafayel is also 100% going to pretend to be confused to get MC to tutor him. "I don't get it, can you explain it again?" (He already aced the homework last week.) Being doted on by her sweet, earnest, diligent efforts to explain? A million times better than getting A's.

So it's definitely Zayne > Caleb > Xavier right at the top of the class rankings.

Then, whether Sylus or Rafayel have worse grades depends a lot on whether Sylus sees an opportunity to drop out and start his own business. Why compete with other high school students for a piece of paper when you can be out there making real money, y'know?

If they both manage to graduate, they're pretty even in terms of DGAF energy 😂 But they'd also both be way higher in the class rankings than other people expect. The delinquent and the artist who never does his homework in the top 25%? What? How!

[patricide1885]

I'm literally turning into one of those Stoicism (albeit Buddhism enhanced) people. You have depression and anxiety and bedrot and struggle and have ADHD and it's never going to get better? It's because your early life and ADHD prevented you from having the stability to develop an "organized soul" because you were always playing catch-up/you were distracted by trying to satiate your parents, teachers, and peers' wrath over things you couldn't control or simply weren't developmentally ready for yet, as a result uou learned to lose faith in yourself and that you are helpless, and you fall from thing to thing in a disorganized way just trying to survive and you spend the rest of the time escaping.

But what you don't realize is that you can do it now, it's actually not contraindicated by your ADHD surprisingly. I was surprised myself. "Buddhism is when you walk downstairs, see that the trash is overflowing and covered with flies, and you take it out" and opposite action are in fact actionable things for you. You can actually do things you don't enjoy if you choose to do them and it's not bad to do things you find unpleasant. Intentionally enduring aversion is very good for you, is a skill you get better at over time, and gives you freedom.

This changed my life and dramatically slashed my anxiety within days and the broader world is clearer, so maybe this will resonate with someone else. My HRV jumped, my voice actually got lower because I have MTD and my throat muscles relaxed.

We are searching for a new roommate for our queer shared house and not a single applicant yet has not been neurodivergent and mentally ill. So I know this is the correct audience for this even if this feels weird and hyperspecific.

Also meditation will in fact fix you over time and make this way easier and if you're curious I can explain why better than your therapist can. Even if you think you're doing it wrong, just keep doing it and you'll get your first upgrade eventually.

[eddsboxofdisectiontools]

On topic with my post about Edd mischaracterization, I'm taking a wack at Ed mischaracterization. I won't do Eddy... Only because BPS was the thing that explained it all. Everyone in the fandom already knows Eddy is just a victim of abuse and gaslighting.

I think the most common consensus is that Ed is stupid. That's pretty much what they imply in the show, via other character's comments. Except for Edd... Who wouldn't say that lol.

I don't think he's stupid. Not inherently... I'm not saying he has lots of book smarts, because he doesn't. We all know he doesn't. But I don't think he's genuinely stupid. I think that his mother prevents teachers from showing concern about his inability to learn, because if they found out how to teach him properly, he'd become more aware of her actions and may rebel. Obviously, any oppressive force who is taking control of another person doesn't want them to gain consciousness about what's happening to them. Especially not someone like Ed, who could OBLITERATE her.

I think he could be just as capable as Dee if they found what helps him learn. He is canonly ND (ADHD) but given the high comorbidity rates, he's probably autistic too. Come on, he's pretty fixated on monster media. This probably makes it impossible for him to learn in the ways that the students around him learn. Not only does he lose focus, but if he *can* focus, he tends to lose interest and space out anyways.

Notice how he can easily quote and memorize scenes from his monster comics and movies? That shows he IS capable of holding mass amounts of information. This is what Edd does all the time, except the information he typically holds is related to things like biology and psychology. When we measure IQ, we're measuring the POTENTIAL of a person's intelligence, not the current knowledge. As humans, we're programmed to be in a state of nonstop learning. There really is no such thing as knowing more in the sense we try to use, because intelligence can be more accurately measured by the ability to understand, retain, and utilize the information given, and how much information can be stored and utilized. People who could be comparable to Einstein if given the chance may end up never proving this to people due to growing up in an environment that shames education. The person is capable of learning complex topics, but the way they've been silenced causes it to become a hidden skill. Does that make sense? I hope it does.

I think this is what we see with Ed. He is very intelligent in the fields that he enjoys, such as animal care and monster media. I'm sure he'd know more than Edd does about animal care, and may teach a thing or two to him occasionally through his rambles. Ed lacks any effort towards his care and learning, so the topics he's willing to ingest are super limited. I believe that he can learn lots, and be considered intelligent. Maybe he'll forever remain aversive to topics like math and history... Is it really a bad thing? Yes, they are good things to know... But I think he could excel in his topics of preference in a way that would label him as a master of his field.

Knowing Edd, he's probably helping Ed with his learning issues. Edd shows an interest in psychology, which means he most likely understands the differences in people and how they can take in information. I'm sure he'd use this to see what gets him focused, what makes him learn. He'd possibly ingest stacks and stacks of information if he found what made him tick. It's hard to know exactly HOW he's intelligent, but I do believe he is. His non stop fourth wall breaks seem funny (and they are) but a part of that also implies that Ed has EXCEPTIONAL attention to detail. People who are considered intelligent have this. Perhaps his tendency to get distracted makes this harder to notice since he doesn't pick up what he can't focus on, but trust that he's about as aware of what's going on as Edd is implied to be. The difference between Ed and Edd is that Ed had been sheltered and shunned from learning like normal, and Edd had pretty much been FORCED into learning constantly by his parents, which led to the natural fixation on topics relating to education, as it was what was in his environment. I think Ed could go places if they found what helped him learn.

[prettysymbiosis]

I'm watching the dan union chapel thing for the first time finally and I have some thoughts - not arguing any points just sharing my takes. Long post 🙃

• I think he was genuinely pissed at phil about the eye emergency thing and the not helping with the event itself thing and he was gratified when we were cheering for him because he just needs a little validation from the girls about his shitty male partner sometimes.

This is just interesting to me because 99% of the time we're like uwu heart eyes they love each other, because they do. But they get genuinely upset with each other too and I don't think they're 100% above trying to get us to take their side even though they're generally very averse to getting too real with us (I do think dan is more inclined to do this overall).

That being said, the stories he shared about phil were genuinely funny and domestic and I'm sure he was sharing them for that reason too.

• I think he was genuinely bothered by the pissyourselffordan thing. I know this could be a hot take because he did mention piss a lot unprompted lol and I DO think he thinks it's funny, but I also know how much he yearns to succeed despite being the deeply unlucky nonbinary popstar that he is, and I think he feels embarrassed and discouraged to some degree when these kinds of things happen.

Like he mentioned that harper collins didn't promote the event on any of their platforms because of it – so he lost whatever exposure and therefore success that would've translated to for his actual work. He kept saying it was a "disaster" and I feel like while he was leaning into the genuinely funny and unique side of it, he wouldn't have chosen for it to go that way.

One thing I will say is that we know dan hates advertising and thinks it's terribly cringe, so when you add that to his inferiority complex this probably felt inevitable and maybe even weirdly welcome.

• I've seen folks discuss the neurodivergent vibes dnp have and some have said dan is more adhd and phil is more autism. Now, disclaimer that I don't think it's usually accurate or helpful to categorize ways of being too concretely and most people have many different things going on, including dnp. But all of that to say that dan reads as very autistic to me sometimes, whereas phil reminds me more of people I know with adhd.

Dan literally says he "can't be normal" during the eyedrops story because of his physical aversion to having his eyes touched. The chapter he reads in his book (the book he's said many times is for his "younger" self) is about working on the need to know exactly how everything is going to happen in any given situation.

This is definitely something that is part of anxiety as well, which he also struggles with, but in the context of all dan's other particularities (his exacting food preferences, the way he obsesses over his interests, that he stims when he's keyed up, etc) it's giving 'tism to me.

Not necessarily saying anything new with any of this but I want to get better about actually posting more :) I'll probably have more takes as I keep watching because I haven't even touched the gender of it all yet

[piratekane]

june reading wrap up

it's that time of the month again, folks.

the mission: read only queer books the side mission: read more than just sapphic books the side-side mission: read something besides fantasy/romance mission status: sick

some stats for those following along at home:

- i read 19 books - i attempted one buddy read (but my wife quit on me, guys) - 100% OF MY BOOKS WERE QUEER - still no audiobooks but there's a freshly peeled month ahead of us

here's the reviews:

the bad: - Written in the Stars by Alexandria Bellefleur, bisexual rep people in the circles i've been traveling lately love this book, but i just... didn't. the characters did a complete personality switch about three chapters in. one of them was a manic pixie dream girl. the other was so flat i dreaded reading her perspective. also the brother had NO boundaries and i hate third act breakups due to miscommunication. 1 star - Something Wild and Wonderful by Anita Kelly, achillean rep people also loved this one but my struggle is that i don't think gay men are it for me and also there were some things about Alexie that i just didn't jive with. there was, yet again, another third act breakup that felt contrived. the writing was good and it was clear Kelly knows hiking and they have a love for it. so i enjoyed that part! 2.5 stars - The Prospects by K.T. Hoffman, trans achillean rep everyone and their freaking mother LOVE this book but it just didn't have enough baseball. like, for a book about the first trans baseball player in the professional league, this book was about his love interest's anxiety. gimme baseball!!! and gene straight-up backstabbed luis, i stg if no one else thinks so. 2.5 stars

the great: - The Skin and Its Girl by Sarah Cypher, lesbian rep this is lit-fic and you should know that going into it. once i got used to the writing style, i was hooked on this book. it's an interesting POV and the love story is really the complex love between a daughter and her mother, and the daughter and get great-aunt. like, my brain is still bending around this one. 5 stars - The Z Word by Lindsay King-Miller, queer rep this book emerged from a tumblr prompt and it's incredible. tons of rep (sword lesbian, motorcycle lesbian, drag queen, bisexual mess, nonbinary pizza delivery person) and just a fun fucking time. it's all centered around Pride weekend and begs the question: just what do you do when a zombie outbreak fucks up your festival? 5 stars - Here We Go Again by Alison Cochrun, lesbian rep two teachers go on a road trip with their terminally ill mentor and gosh, this is a specific setup but it works. i cried at the end like a little baby. the characters were fantastic (my favorite was their mentor) and the writing was superb. there's also really great ADHD rep in this and the growth of each character felt natural instead of forced. 5 stars - The Sunbearer Trials by Aiden Thomas, trans rep i knew this book existed and my cousin loves it but i never gave it a fair shake because i was like ONLY SAPPHIC NOVELS ONLY SAPPHIC NOVELS and was averse to reading anything but that but this one. this one is so good. the setting (a contemporary-fantasy latin america) is so lush and rich with detail. teo, the main character, had me rooting for him from the get-go. and the plot twist was so so good. i requested an advanced copy of the sequel through NetGalley and i'm hoping it'll come there. (i also bought Thomas' other novel, because now he is auto-buy author me) 5 stars.

honorable mentions: - A Swift and Sudden Exit by Nico Vincenty, bisexual rep also born from a tumblr prompt and just so much fun. i recommend purchasing this because it's just too good. time traveler meets and immortal (maybe you've seen the prompt). you won't regret it - Elatsoe by Darcy Little Badger, asexual rep an Indigenous girl who can see ghosts goes on a trip to hunt down her cousin's murderer. the writing is so punchy. i loved this one. - On the Same Page by Haley Cass, bisexual rep best friends become lovers through miscommunication. hilarious stuff. i will also read Haley Cass again because the characters were so funny and the plot was so good. - Lakelore by Anna-Marie McLemore, nonbinary rep this one was a mind bender in a good way. each of the characters were really fleshed out in a fun way. the timeline hopping was a little trippy, but i got my feet under me quick. - A Sweet Sting of Salt by Rose Sutherland, lesbian rep a selkie wife retelling. do i really need to say more?

okay this is long i am congratulating you if you got this far. now i need to go hibernate and slow down because i read too much and this month i want to write!

[writing2changetheworld]

Are there valid criticisms of Damien and his ableism? Yes, and in my opinion the main one is that he says words like "the bad c-word" a lot. Don't get me wrong, I wish he wouldn't. But despite this, you can't deny that he's done a lot for the disabled, specifically neurodivergent, community that watch Smosh. Representation goes a long way, and like someone said in Damien's funeral roast- "Damien isn't the only neurodivergent person at Smosh, but he's certainly the loudest" (or smth along those lines). And as I'm sure you know, loudness is what the disabled community need in a world built for abled and neurotypical people. You know that feeling you get when you hear or see Angela's aversion to "the bad c-word"? That's how I, and a lot of other ND ppl I'm sure, feel when we hear Damien talk about his neurodivergence- whether that's mentioning autism, OCD or ADHD by name or purely mentioning a trait offhand (eg: struggling with social cues, or hyperfixations, etc). Simply by existing and using terms like stimming, sensory issues, special interests and so on, he's spreading awareness and understanding of neurodivergence.

I wish you would speak about this, because it truly matters, just as much as all your positive posts about Angela. Maybe even more, as I'm sure Damien has inadvertently helped so many ND fans accept themselves. If you can post positive things about Angela while also acknowledging she's human and makes mistakes, why can't you do the same for Damien?

I mean this genuinely, by the way. I'm not trying to be rude or unkind- it's just that Damien and Angela are my two favourite Smosh members for a reason, and it's disappointing to see one be congratulated for something small while the other is being criticised even though he has done a lot of things that ought to be celebrated. (In my opinion- it's fine if you disagree.)

I don't totally disagree.

I have never talked about him saying stimming, sensory issues, special interests, etc because I've never witnessed that. And I don't want to post about him saying whatever without proof.

I hear you and from another ND person I understand how important that representation is and why and how much it matters.

I agree disabled people being loud is important.

I also feel a lot of anger towards Damien right now and I don't want to watch multiple videos with him right now.

If Angela said the same ableist stuff Damien does I would point it out. I would criticize her too.

Him saying the bad C word also bothers me but it feels hypocritical to me if I criticize him for it and, at the same time, say Angela is working it out of her vocabulary. Because he might be - I don't know.

I'm really sorry if I made you feel excluded and/or I wasn't talking about Damien saying those things on purpose.

[messingwithmoony]

okay I'm go8bg to ramble about remus with autism it wont be coherent at all but here we are becuase my goodness I've thought about very little else my grasp on the English language is strenuous at the best of times so mos of

okay okay first things first he absolutely refuses to go anywhere near the great hall for any reason ever not happening the candles are weird and whatever is going on with the ceiling freaks him out remus cannot handle it

I don't know nearly enough about deaf people to make proper concrete statements but I truly believe remus is hard of hearing and the full moon is very difficult for him sensory wise becuase he gets so much more sound input or whatever he loves it for all of 10 minutes before it's just a nightmare

after these noise filled full moon nightmares he has absolutely atrocious meltdowns or he'll have a shutdown for like 4 months(I have absolutely atrocious sensory shutdowns honestly awful awful times) anyways all of that has caused him some absolutely wild burnout from a really young age even thiugh Hope does absolutely anything she can to help

he is absolutely sensory seeking but noise is a big no and only 2 maybe 3 people ever are allowed to touch him, he absolutely sensory seeks through food but has so many issues with it becuase of his arfid another reason to despise the great hall

okay okay other co-occuring learn8ng disabilities he has dyslexic no doubt about it atyd is absolutely correct that boy cannot read to save his life he really fucking wants to the words just don't cooperate, he is very very dyspraxic has absolutely no coordination or depth perception at all, remus probably also has adhd but in a more inattentive manner I.e he's very time blind and if he doesn't care abiut a subject he isn't going to participate in class even if he remembers every single little thing

I fear I can go on and on this has barely scrapped the surface of my tho7ghts which is crazy really

my goodness okay one last thing remus is absolutely genderqueer in some way shape of form I'm undecided as to how though ill investigate

oh my gosh i love eve4y single point. The great hall points r so real because. Wtf is up with thst ceiling its weitd asf. Also i fear id lole none of the food due tk my ed and sensory aversions so for my 7 years of hogwarts id end up living off of toast😨

I like your full moon points and how he'd get morr input during the full (also because wolves would have a sharpened sense of hearings) itd freak him out during hos furst ever full adter trh changing and he'd shut down for miltipl3 months while allowing no one but his mama to touch him (he relates comfort to his maman, hr knows she would never hurt him, ejerras even his friends he's not sure about (especially after The Prank)

That guy was DEFINITELY dyslexic. No doubt about it

He's also disabled and uses canes and occasionally wheelchairs if He's feeling especially shitty (do not ask how wheelchairs would work st hogwarts becsjsr. I dont know. And ill cry)

i lovrd this thank you charlie barley

[galimatiaskosmos]

I'm feeling strange.

I can’t form connections with people; I can't feel anything for anyone—neither sexually, romantically, nor affectionately, nothing. It’s as if I have to build my own world from scratch, surrounded by a bunch of animals who only think about sex, reproduction, forming families, and having partners.

This has never affected me; being alone has never bothered me. The only thing that has bothered me is that when I need help, I won’t have anyone to lift me up or protect me.

Lately, seeing people have intimate relationships on TV has begun to affect me deeply. It never bothered me before; I would just skip those scenes or ignore them.

I’m trying to find the reason for this. It doesn’t seem like trauma, it doesn’t seem like disgust or aversion… I think it might have to do with a kind of… adjustment disorder?

It’s like I’ve finally realized that most people are different from me, completely different. This feels like a punch in the stomach because while others know what they want in life, know what to do, I have to learn everything on my own, I have to build my own path.

It’s as if I’m the only illithid/devil among animals. They are born, survive, have sex, start families, have kids, and die. I am born and survive, don’t feel the need for a partner, sex, children, or family. But it’s not just that; they bombard me with this constant message: be born, survive, have sex, make a family, have children, and die.

I feel out of place when I see a series/movie/media where characters fall in love and have sex—whether for fun or in a relationship—because it reminds me that I’m out of place—the only devil/illithid among animals.

No, I don’t feel lonely, and I don’t mind being a solitary and virgin person. I also don’t care about finding a friend or a lifelong companion to have sex with or whatever; I just don’t care. Yes, I’ve touched grass, I’ve gone out to live the world, and I’m enjoying life now.

I just wanted to vent, and I wrote this to try to understand this bad feeling I get whenever I see two characters have sex or fall in love in media.

Interacting is exhausting; people are so foolish and irritating, so sensitive. They are just another form of temporary entertainment for me, something to pass the time and calm my boredom from ADHD.

Even the people I like (or at least those I feel closest to), they eventually tire me out, like a toy that stops being fun, or they abandon me for their boyfriends/partners.

It’s a constant boredom, but I don’t mind being alone, I don’t mind having someone or being alone in life. I think what I’m looking for in life is just to feel good—both with myself, because I know I’m different from most people, and to reach a state of well-being—something to alleviate my constant boredom or at least soften it.

For the first time in my life, I’m seeking my well-being; I’m looking for health and trying to escape my toxic family environment. I don’t know what the solution is or if I’m just being dramatic. It’s the first time in 20 years—since I was born—that I’m getting to know myself completely, understanding who I really am, what I am, and that maybe—just maybe—I’m different from most people in many significant ways—seeking companionship, friendship, empathy, remorse, sexuality, mind…

It’s the first time I’m understanding… and recognizing… that I might truly be an illithid/devil among animals in heat—or maybe just a very sick and traumatized human because of the abuse I suffered in childhood (or maybe both).

Whatever it is, I don’t know, and I’m trying to find pleasure in life, trying to live. Maybe I’m like that guy—the psychopath who was considered the most friendless man in the world/the most solitary—since I suspect I have psychopathy/sociopathy/ASPD—for many factors I intend to discuss with my psychologist.

This is my venting—and an attempt to understand why suddenly seeing fictional characters having sex/romance makes me feel sick—and I’ll leave this here for people who might feel like I do. I wish happiness for everyone—especially those like me, who go against the masses/are a minority—and I hope I can live well one day, both with myself and with others.

[joowee-feftynn]

If you have any, what are your Volleyball and/or Pink hcs?

OOUUUGH 14 year old me would've combusted with an ask like this lmaooo

But either way, I may not remember a lot of them nor really like some anymore but I'll try listing some so here it goes

For Pink:

-In my head she would most likely be capable of having fire powers, both because it sort of makes sense and is slightly hinted to be possible as well as I found it really cool

-She would probably really enjoy food and maybe grow an interest for cooking

-She's scaringly good at climbing

-She's pretty damn athletic, being able to perform impressive stunts and maneuvers like it's nothing, as well as being extremely flexible

-LOVES physical touch. She hugs everything and everyone and loves to be hugged as well. She rarely ever realizes when she's being overly affectionate

-Actually possess behaviors and mannerisms similar to a cat's (this sounds ridiculous but I thought it was super cute and somehow fitting. yes she purrs)

-She developed an aversion to the dark due to her time spent locked in the tower. This could go into the theory that the diamonds essentially starved her since gems are powered by light but I won't get into that here

-She got the Wombo Combo (autism + adhd and developed a special interest in earth things in general)

-She likes having her face touched and caressed :]

-She used to hide things in her hair, and since it was so dense and thick it worked really well

-Really Really REALLY hates being held, because it makes her feel small and vulnerable and that's a no-no for her

-She would looooove naps. she's an eeper and goes snork mimimimimi

-She likes to dance and do silly things for volley to watch. Seeing her laugh made her really happy, and sometimes she even participated in her performances along with the pebbles :D

For Volley:

-When she was first introduced to pink, she used to be a pretty quiet but compliant pearl, always following orders and all that. However, since Pink is a huge enabler (and has no actual idea of how much authority she has over any other gem), she slowly started to develop and show her true personality. She still comes off as nice and quiet, but is actually pretty sassy and quite the jokester too!

-She has a tendency to be passive-aggressive, but she either means it completely or doesn't even realize it. She would stab a bitch if necessary imo

-After joining Little Homeworld, she develops a liking for botany, as well as photography!

-If she ever got the chance, she would have defended pink from the diamonds and even argue with them about how terrible they treat her *stares at this concept art by rebecca sugar*

-Volley isn't as favorable of physical touch like Pink is, but she lets her lay her head on her lap. She likes to rest her head on pink's hair also

-She likes to squeeze pink's cheeks because they're squishy and it makes her giggle (pink does not know how to feel about it)

-She likes being held and carried around by pink. it makes her feel closer to her (emotionally), and she likes being high up there and gets all sassy about it sometimes lol

-She really likes coffee :]

-Sometimes she likes to quietly sit and lean on pink, and of course pink doesn't know how to react to that, so she just lets her be. It's probably some of the most peaceful moments they have together before The Incident

-She is Such a showoff lmao

-She doesn't cry very often, unlike pink, the latter being much more of a crybaby

-And of course she's autistic too

-She used to take pride in being so close to her diamond, which the other pearls found utterly disgusting, but she didn't care because to her, being pink diamond's best friend meant way more than just being her pearl

Aaand we're done I think. didn't expect this to be this long LMAO

Either way, thanks a lot for the ask! I love these two a lot and really wish we got more of them

[sophia-epistemia]

re: taxes on computer, WoW on computer, and the fear of addiction to technology stuff

for me, when I say things like “I should be able to have taxes machine that isn’t WoW machine” the issue isn’t really fear of joy or fear of frivolity or whatever.

It’s that I have other stuff I want to do, I want to lift weights, I want to play sports with friends, I want to go to the club and dance, I want to study photography, and write essays, and read novels, and go on hikes.

and I know that if I have access to internet machine I will instead spend essentially as much time as possible mindlessly pulling the dopamine lever of porn/league of legends/WoW/short-form video/more porn/etc.

I really feel a lack of self-control in this matter, and it’s incredibly frustrating, but while I find long-term slow success tasks mentally and emotionally satisfying, if short-term success tasks are available I’ll essentially always prioritize them. I know this because I have a pre-paid phone/internet plan, and whenever I don’t pay up in advance and have no phone/internet for a week or two, I experience an initial 36-48 hour period of distress followed by an immense level of productivity, effort towards longer term goals, and the ability to apply myself tirelessly to my outside world hobbies and passions.

I really just don’t do distraction well. I always end up turning the phone back on so I can handle work tasks, and then I’ll backslide into a shut-in neckbeard.

it might be ADHD, but I wasn’t like this as a teenager, since my parents were hippies who didn’t believe in smartphones or online. It all went sideways in college when I had unrestricted access.

I also need to go back on my anxiety meds, that helps a little.

well tbf i have that too. maybe a less crippling version, idk, "vulnerability to skinnerbox traps" is obviously a Trait That Varies Across People

my way to (partially) address that is to *plan* and note shit to do in my phone calendar. and not fearing to overkill: if i have a Serious Admin or Medical Appointment, it beeps the day before to remind me to goto sleep or prepare whatever i'll need. then beeps three times on the day, from 3hrs before, leaving 1h-1h30 to get there after the last reminder depending on the distance i expect between where i'll likely be before and the place that i need to go to.

in practice it's really simple: get The Habit of noting shit and set as many reminders as is easy in the ui and useful to make your shitty brain that is bad at being a brain Get Shit Done.

my The Habit grew from anxiety, but i find that the little peak of stress when i'm being given a date and time is *useful*, as i solve the stress by noting the task. so even tho this method relies on an aversive feeling, it also works by resolving it immediately, and it's not that bad anyway. feels better than missing an appointment at least.

but ok. everyone will not just suddenly develop mind-hacking methods to avoid the baited traps. that may be a problem. but how can it be solved? what constraints are there on the space of solutions and should there be more, and why, and who gets to choose them?

i ~always default to maximal personal freedom because the two sins, to me, are Coercion and Unfairness. but even i know that there are trade-offs.

so yeah my values make me feel that things that make life harder for me are valuable enough to keep around, that it's my problem, that even if it's a problem for lots of people, they are also the ones who would be worst hit by the blunt, clumsy, oppressive solutions that most of those offering solutions are offering.

at least, self-imposed coercion harms nobody else as a first-order effect, so i find that one Permissible. 's not like i haven't permanently bound my flesh in steel chains as a vow to all my future selves ⛓️

way i see it, if the skinnerbox traps are better than life, then life needs updated to be more rewarding, not the skinnerbox traps banned. i am an ambitious transhumanist like that

[divine-construct]

pre-facing this by saying there are always two answers from two of our headmates, one who is apl & plato-favorable & demi-alterous, and one who is apl & plato-averse/repulsed (probably more what you’re looking for). this means we have different opinions and experiences, but i thought i’d talk abt being apl-favorable too in case that might help :3

What does being aplatonic mean to you personally? — Basil: I don’t feel the need to make friends with anyone. I’m demi-alterous & plato-favorable, so if someone approaches us, and we get close, I start considering them a friend at some point. However, while I want to stay close to them, that’s all I want. I don’t really care if we’re friends, or siblings, or maybe even romantically involved; What counts is that we’re close. Essentially, being apl, to me, is not wanting to make friends with specific people, and let the process happen naturally instead. — Naoto: I don’t want to/feel the need to make friends. Not with specific people, and neither with anyone in general. I don’t mind acquaintances, familial relationships, or those of the romantic type, but I do not want any friends.

Are there any parts of your identity that you feel are connected to your aplatonic identity? This could be the aforementioned neurodivergency, another queer identity, or anything else you can think of. — Basil: It very much goes hand in hand with me being a romance-favorable (it’s complicated with my opinions on sex) aroace, and I believe these go hand in hand with my neurodivergency (namely ADHD & autism, not social anxiety, depression or ocd). — Naoto: My aplatonicism is very much connected to my aroaceness, and our ADHD, as well as autism. I do think it’s probably connected to our trauma/DID as well.

Can you describe your experience with friendship growing up (how you felt about it, if other people said anything, etc.)? — Hard to say as a system,, we never had many close friends, and never had the desire to make friends with specific people. Friendship’s always just happened to us, but never on our behalf. We used to get teased/lowkey bullied for not having a lot of friends, but it never bothered us.

What tropes and storylines do you wish you saw less of in media? — We both agree on this; we don’t like how everyone always is supposed to have friends, and if they don’t, they’re a freak and need to work on themselves so people start wanting to be friends with them. Basically, the picture that no friends = there’s something wrong with you (and that something has to be changed).

What tropes and storylines do you wish you saw more of in media? — We also both agree on this: Friendless people who start friendless, end friendless, and are not portrayed as broken. People who don’t want friends, yet are not broken. Maybe even someone who gains a friend, realises that they don’t want any friends, and is able to peacefully resolve it. Stories in which friendship isn’t the center, other than stories about romance or simply sex. Non-friending apl people!!

Imagine your ideal (but semi-realistic) living situation and life. You are not in school. You have a job of your choosing. You are content. How often do you interact with other people in this scenario, and who are they to you? — Basil: I’d like to live with our qpp, so social interactions with him every day <3 Plus, I’d like to see/talk to my close friends at least once or twice a month. As few as possible social interactions with people I don’t know (except maybe on the internet), and maybe a few meet ups with lose friends each year. — Naoto: No qpp. No friends. Maybe a romantic partner, but I doubt I’ll ever have one. I’d like to live a town or so away from them, close, but not too close. We’d see each other once or twice a week. As few social interactions as possible with strangers, except on the internet. I wouldn’t mind work collegues as long as we only see each other for work.

Would any aplatonic people be willing to answer a few questions about their identity and experiences?

I’m planning on writing an aplatonic character and there’s only so much insight I can get from the outside looking in.

You can comment, repost, send an ask, or DM your answers, and feel free to skip any questions you don’t want to answer, especially if it’s too personal.

Questions below:

What does being aplatonic mean to you personally?

Are there any parts of your identity that you feel are connected to your aplatonic identity? This could be the aforementioned neurodivergency, another queer identity, or anything else you can think of.

Can you describe your experience with friendship growing up (how you felt about it, if other people said anything, etc.)?

What tropes and storylines do you wish you saw less of in media?

What tropes and storylines do you wish you saw more of in media?

Imagine your ideal (but semi-realistic) living situation and life. You are not in school. You have a job of your choosing. You are content. How often do you interact with other people in this scenario, and who are they to you?

[unknownlinguist]

Randomly gonna rant about onions for a minute here. I guess I have what you'd call a "food aversion" to them. I /think/ all types of onions, pretty much.

Although I always detested onions, I always really enjoyed the flavor of garlic in cooking. However I became VERY allergic to garlic over 1-2 years as an adult.

I read that sometimes food aversions are thought to come from subconsciously associating that food with making you sick.

And now I'm wondering if maybe I have an allergy to onions & garlic, but I just never knew about the onions, because i was thoroughly avoiding them! It could make some sense because onions and garlic are both part of the alliums family of plants. But I don't have an aversion to garlic.

Also I noticed recently, that while I would have thought scallions to lay firmly in the 'onion camp', I actually can tolerate scallions for some reason. I mean, I dont LIKE THEM VERY MUCH but. Usually that flavor triggers a strong disgust/gag reflex. It's just weird how that works idk idk! Like why & how is my body deciding this is okay, this is not okay etc in the alliums familly LOL.

[luciothedevil]

Polycule ghost x soap x könig x GN reader headcanons

This is basicallyJust my 2 am ramblings tbh sorry if it's not structured I didn't edit lmao

Sleep routine with the boys

Soap tends to be a semi chaotic sleeper in the sense that most nights he fidgets and moves around in his sleep due to his active brain. He's even kicked someone on multiple occasions and when he's asked he says he has no recollection of ever doing it you've made fun of him on multiple accounts for it and have even woken him up in the middle of the night for kicking you to which he'd apologized sleepily and kissed your head before knocking right back out.

König doesn't mind too much he's a deep sleeper and sleeps like a goddamn rock once he's out he's gone it's hard to get him to wake up again at least back at home when he feels safe and like theres no impending doom around the corner he's also a cuddler the person closest to him will be getting a leg thrown around them and pulled closer to him no ifs and or buts soap loves it ghost is indifferent though it is a bit annoying as no doubt he'll get warm since König is a fucking furnace as well as himself usually if it gets to hot he'll push König away into either you or soap who won't mind as much.

Ghost gets extremely annoyed at soaps sleeping habits because he is an extremely light sleeper someone who wakes at the sound of wind scratching against the window, yeah he's that type of light sleeper usually if soap is too active at night he'll find himself leaving the sleep pile and going to lay on the couch to hopefully catch a little rest. Usually he doesn't. Sometimes you'll wake up and find Ghost gone. You'll go downstairs and find him staring listless at a wall. He notices you instantly "why are you up?"

"I think the question is why are you up?" You'd say.

"Couldn't sleep with Johnny being a fuckin' tornado" in that annoyed grumbly tone you'd come to love you'd come down and cuddle with him just sitting in silence or maybe talking about nothing important just to pass the time eventually you'd probably get all exhausted and ghost will direct you to go back upstairs and sleep even if you tell him no he'll still try and get you to sleep remarking he doesn't want you being all cranky in the morning. He'll carry you upstairs if he has to.

He doesn't tell you early on in the relationship but he's used to staying up because he often suffers from nightmares which you'd all later learn into the relationship

Morning routine with the boys

Ghost is always up before all of you probably preparing tea or coffee he would cook breakfast but he sucks at cooking so that's usually up to könig or you if you suck at cooking then könig is the designated house chef as he's extremely good at cooking a meal.

He makes you all try his Austrian dishes. He'll also learn English and Scottish dishes for soap and ghost so they feel at home. He'll also try a hand at your culture's dishes taking notes from either you or your family to make them as authentic as possible.

Soap always compliments König's work and even tries to help him in the kitchen occasionally but it always ends up with soap making a mess and König getting overwhelmed at all the cleaning he'll have to do (König also has adhd which makes it easy to get overwhelmed by tasks) you'll probably have to step in and help out with the cleaning or else König will just stand their overwhelmed trying to figure out what he needs to clean first. You've all learned having soap in the kitchen is mostly a no go but there are still attempts made König just needs to learn to watch soap and chastise him when he's not cleaning up after himself.

PDA

Soap is extremely clingy it doesn't matter If it's you ghost or König he has to be touching one of his partners nearly always he's learnt that while ghost and könig are a bit averse to pda (moreso ghost, könig is just shy and takes a bit to get used to the idea of it) you'll allow it but only in small doses. he knows to be good in public with the boys and tries not to go overboard with you but he just can't help it sometimes, he's got lots of love to give so he'd prosper better if you were someone who liked pda are is at least okay with it in certain aspects.

Ghost doesn't like pda I wouldn't say he necessarily hates it but he's reserved with his affections in public he'll let you or soap hold onto his arm if you really want to and maybe give you guys a peck or two but that's about as far as he goes he's not like soap he won't makeout with you guys in public with no shame like soap would if you guys allowed it. He also doesn't appreciate the strange stares you guys get in public when/if people put the pieces together that no you aren't just friends going out together.

König is a mixed bag it really just depends on how long you've been in a relationship at the start he's a bit averse to pda he's not used to affection in general but he's slowly gotten used to it and even crave it however showing it in public freely is a whole nother can of worms he's kind of envious with the way soap can show you guys off so easily without even thinking twice about it. He tries to take a page from Soap's book and slowly lean out of his shell starting with small pecks on the cheek leading to handholding and all that stuff he gets really proud of himself when he's able to publicly hold onto one of or multiple of you guys without feeling embarrassed or ashamed.

Random/crack headcanons

König is obsessed with physical intimacy. When he gets used to it he absolutely loves anything to do with touch.

Please let him rest on your chest and play with his hair, he absolutely melts into you and becomes putty in your hands hardly able to form a thought other then 'this feels good'

He finds it so endearing when soap plays with his hands; tracing the palms and the lines on his fingers when he gets bored.

Similarly he enjoys it when you trace your fingers across his scars he'll always shudder at the way you touch him so gently as if you could hurt someone as big as him like you think he's fragile. It makes his head spin from how fast his heart pumps. It's such a nice change from the usually harsh things he feels on his skin he can't help but let out soft whimpers every now and again which promptly cause him to blush. Soap definitely teases him for it.

König likes to chill with Ghost; they're similar in the sense that they mostly thrive in quieter spaces unlike soap who loves chaos. They could be reading or watching a show together or simply just sitting in the same room doing different things to them that's considered quality time together even if they don't necessarily interact.

When the boys are too tired to go out, soap will most definitely force you to go outside with him. if you are also an introvert like the other two he'll beg and use puppy dog eyes if he has to its worked on Ghost a number of times he always says "fuckin' hell" but he'll nearly always relent to whatever soap asks this also goes for you too all you have to do is bat your eyelashes at him or beg and he'll give in. you guys almost never have to do that for König as he's almost always willing to go do whatever you and soap want even if he doesn't particularly like going outside.

Ghost sucks at video games, literally all of them no matter how easy the game is he's going to find a way to screw it up he'll play if you want him to. He's just going to suck.

You; Simon get away from the creeper! *cue him blowing up*

You: How the fuck did you die I left for five seconds"

You: Did you seriously just run into that wall?"

Simon: :[

You: *he gets spooked and thinks you're an enemy running across the screen* Simon stop shooting me *you die* Jesus fucking Christ Simon!

He is not having a great time but he loves you so he puts up with it

Somehow soap will always beat you at mortal kombat all he does is mash buttons and yet he still wins no matter what

König loves video games, he loves elden ring and rdr2 and tries to get Ghost to play elden ring just so he can watch him rage.

Soap headbutts to show affection like a cat.

Both soap and König have Adhd just different types.

Ghost will always ask you and the boys about their days during dinner. He likes to know what you guys got up to and if someone was bothering any of you.

____

First post hopefully many more to come but who knows writersblock is a bitch request something if you want I do any mw2 character

[tolkien-feels]

Just wanted to know, since elves don't touch much, do you think an elven husband and wife would kiss or be romantic?

(Like, they may have kids and obvs they touch, but like... do you think they touch whenever they feel like touching each other, or do they ask?)

Anon, I ended up writing you an essay-length post, even though I specifically decided to answer you right now because I thought it'd be a quick answer 😅 So, under a cut for length

Tl;dr: I don't see why elves would not do All The Romantic Things™️! It just might look Weird to mortals, maybe.

First of all, unless I'm forgetting something (which is entirely possible - adhd brain sieve is a problem), it's not canon that elves don't touch much. If so, it's up to how you want to headcanon it. I will share my headcanon but just do imagine whatever you feel like imagining :3

I do happen to headcanon elves aren't very touchy-feely, but I headcanon this in a very specific way. You know how when you are 6 years old one year seems to take forever to pass, because that's 1/6 of your entire lifetime - while if you're 20, that same length of time is only 1/20 of your life and therefore seems to pass much faster? I take that logic and apply to elves - I headcanon their perception of what "a long time" is is wildly different from that of mortals, and this only increases as they get older.

So the way I headcanon it, elves feel like they touch each other relatively frequently - they are neither touch-averse nor end up touch starving themselves. But from a mortal perspective, long stretches of time seem to go by without elves touching each other, because "frequently" is defined according to your perception of time.

By that same logic, a 50 year old elf is probably much cuddlier than a 1500 year old elf - much like to us, children seem impatient. "Frequently" for them feels different. (Plus, I imagine elves have something akin to teenage hormones at some point? Can't really imagine how that would work, though, given their wacky growth patterns.)

On top of all that, there are individual needs and preferences, like humans. Both inexplicable idiosyncrasies and things like neurodiversity-related touch-aversion. And then on top of that, there are many elven cultures, and they are ever-changing, and I imagine that impacts elves on two levels - first, the culture they were socialized in, and then whatever the current culture is (a bit like expats, but the displacement I'm picturing is in time rather than in place.)

All of this to say my headcanons tend to be very specific to each couple, because there are way too many factors involved. I think someone more organized than me could probably come up with a general theory, but I haven't been able to yet.

Even within the same couple, I headcanon things like how long they have been together, and current life circumstances affect how they tend to interact. Think of how much a human relationship can change dynamics over the course of a life together, and multiply that by centuries.

Also, contrary to a lot of headcanons I see around, I don't headcanon number of children is in any way attached to how touchy-feely a couple is. Elves can actually choose when to have children, so I don't see why these things would be related.

Anyway, to address your actual question - I do very much think elves are romantic with each other just for the sake of being romantic. And while I think consent would be very strongly emphasized in elven culture, I think what that looks like really depends on the situation. If you have eternity to learn your spouse's expressions and body language, and you also have mystical quasimindreading skills, I don't think you're going to verbally ask every time you want to like, quickly kiss the person you've been married to for millennia.

But I do think, on average, elves would find it romantic to be asked about things, especially when they are still courting rather than marriage - not only because of boundaries but because it seems on brand for elves to want to add Eloquence™️ to everything. But then again, I think this would also apply to friendship - I think friends start out as actively trying to learn each other's preferences, and over time they settle into certain expectations that only require confirmation occasionally.

On that note, learning is, I think, emphasized by pretty much all the elves we know (even if it's learning their land very well rather than theoretical pursuits), so I cannot imagine an elven couple would not actively set out to learn each other's needs, wants, boundaries, etc. They are probably much more intentional about this than mortals, because they've got plenty of time for that.

We also have to remember that elves seem to prize romantic love a lot, culturally speaking. I think they would be very fond of anything that is associated with romance.

Now, would a random mortal recognize elven romance as being romantic? Sometimes, but not always, I think. Mortals would probably struggle to understand things like the romance of spending a century away from your spouse so each of you can do your own thing. They might also not be too into "Hey what if we stared at each other motionlessly and silent for a really long time" or (and this is probably a thing that the Noldor would do) "Let's go around Naming things together."

But then, I also don't think elves would particularly understand mortal things like "This food sucks but I will say I love it because I noticed how much effort you put into it" or even the concept of bouquets ("Take them to the flowers yourselves!!!" scream the elves. "OH MY GOD why would you kill so many plants for a frivolous reasons, this is not romantic, it's disturbing!!!! One flower might be okay, and a wreath every now and then is a common indulgence but oh my god don't kill a hundred flowers for someone!!!")

But elves and men do have more things in common than not, and the few elf-mortal relationships we know seem to have no greater trouble understanding each other than you would expect given people from different cultures, which leads to think the elves would conceptualize romance in a really similar way to us, actually.

I would expect, generally speaking, that as long as you account for the differences in the scale of time, we would find elven spouses pretty unremarkable 🤷 Like. They hug, they kiss, they go on dates, there's probably nothing uniquely alien about it. I don't think, on the other hand, we would understand exactly what marriage between two Valar is like. But I headcanon love of all kinds, and how it is expressed, is one of the things the Children of Iluvatar have most in common.