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wellhellsbelles · 4 years ago

Note

Hi! i absolutely loved both the 1st chapter of to the rythm of your wild heart and the mini fanfic you wrote :) i found somewhere this prompt that was like farkle and riley are best friends and they work as teachers in the same school and their students ship them and have bets on when they are going to finally admit their feelings for eachother

omg thank you so much!! i’m having such a fun time writing all these prompts, and this one ended up being my favorite by far (especially considering the word count is uhhh 7.1k whoops lol)

Enjoy!!! :)

ao3 link or read below

Even if the universe hadn't pre-ordained them getting together, their students would've forced them in that direction.

The one where Farkle and Riley are teachers, best friends, and their students are maybe a little too involved in their love lives.

(i. the challenge)

“Okay, I know I’ve said it the last few years, but this will definitely be the year my photography class beats your puny little physics class,” Riley told Farkle, dropping a box full of supplies on his desk. He peered up from his computer, adjusting his glasses as he quirked a brow at his best friend.

“So that’s how we’re starting tomorrow? With a fresh cup of competition? What happened to Miss ‘I-Wanna-Take-It-Easy-This-Year’?”

“That was summer Riley. She’s different, you should know this by now, Farkle,” Riley scoffed. “And besides, that was before I was able to get funding for really cool cameras for class, photoshop for all our computers, and was given the greenlight to start photography club. Face it, Minkus, you’re toast.”

“Okay, Riley. Whatever you say,” Farkle rolled his eyes at her, stealing a sip of coffee from the mug on his desk (Riley got it for him a couple of Christmases ago and he loved it; it said, “I don’t give a flux”, and had a helpful diagram underneath that she couldn’t even begin to understand.)

“Damnit, Farkle! Stop using your stupid head games so I can feel victorious! I know you’re in this just about as much as I am, so stop feigning disinterest. I will be the best teacher this year for once! All of those physics students are going to be begging to be in my class!” Riley shouted, picking up the box off his desk and disappearing out of the room. Farkle listened to the sound of her sneakers squeaking against the hallway tile fading out in the distance, shaking his head and chuckling as he continued typing away on his computer.

(ii. the meeting)

Riley spotted him hiding amongst the teachers filling up the auditorium seats for their mandatory teacher orientation for the beginning of the new school year. It warmed her heart to see him sunk low in his chair, trying to appear invisible and yet clearly waiting for her if the denim jacket draped over the seat beside him was any indication.

They’d done this meeting numerous times now since they started—they’d met five years ago, both new teachers to the school and unsure about their place amongst the other staff. Riley had been nervous as hell, but as soon as she saw Farkle sequestered to one of the rows further back by himself, she realized she wasn’t alone. She took a seat beside him, introduced herself despite his desperation to remain unseen, and from then on they were glued to the hip, the best of friends. Neither of them had been apart from one another during any school function, and they didn’t intend on changing that.

He was her partner in crime, after all.

“Miss me?” Riley asked when she reached him. Farkle breathed a sigh of relief when he noticed her, picking the denim jacket up off of the seat and gesturing beside himself.

Even after all this time, he still remained nervous at the beginning of the year, still hiding himself away from the rest of the staff he knew well by now. His penchant for anxiety was a curious one, but not anything Riley chided him for. She’d done her job by helping him get acclimated to everyone else and was definitely pushing it by encouraging him to sit closer to the rest of the teachers during these meetings; she chose which battles she fought very carefully.

“You’re late by five minutes,” he said pointedly, and Riley rolled her eyes.

“So dramatic, Farkle.”

“I prefer ‘reasonably ceremonious’.”

“Whatever you say. Now, did you bring our entertainment or what?”

Farkle flashed his phone, showing off an image of a bingo sheet.

“Bingo,” he smiled cheekily, “It’s an updated version. I think I notice new quirks about Principal Carson every year.”

“As long as the bingo space is ‘Gals and Pals’, then we’re good as gold,” Riley told him.

“Oh, you know it is. I did have to replace some of the obvious Einstein quotes into their own category to make room for the comedian stool and water bottle.”

“It’s like he wants to do standup. I think we should just encourage him to do standup, it’d be a wonderful time,” she laughs.

“It’d be fantastic, but then we’d be out of a principal. He’d be too good,” Farkle said, and Riley’s laughter quickly turned to a full-out peal. Some of the teachers around sent her looks of disdain and she cut herself off, but not before allowing one last cackle to slip past her lips.

“Alright, gals and pals! Are we all ready to get started for our new school year? I know I am!” Principal Carson exclaimed, taking his place at the front of the stage. “We better get started, because as Einstein said, time is relative!”

“Wow, two in one go. This is getting to be too easy,” Riley whispered, and Farkle couldn’t help but agree.

(iii. the bet)

Riley watched with amusement as all her students gathered around one student in particular, whispering in hushed, conspicuous tones. She loved her advanced photography class because they all had been together for so long, had formed their own friendships with one another after sharing the same class. They were sort of one big family at this point, and it wouldn’t be the first time they’d done something sneaky behind Riley’s back.

It’s only the second week, Riley thought, What could they possibly be planning?

“Alright guys, break it up. Don’t you wanna learn some neat photoshop tricks?” Riley asked rhetorically, waving her hands apart to mimic separating.

The students fled to their seats, allowing her to finally see the student in question they had been crowding around. The girl, a small red-head named Penny, was busy compiling a stack of cash and then shoving it into a plastic bag, and despite knowing Penny was harmless, Riley didn’t want to leave the matter.

“Penny, whatcha got there?” Riley said, pointing to the money. Penny shrugged.

“It’s the pot. I’m the bookmaker.”

“Bookmaker?”

“Ms. Matthews, no offense, but please follow along. It’s not that hard; I’m taking bets.”

Riley narrowed her eyes at her student.

“What could you guys even be betting on? We’re in a high school,” Riley mused, bewildered. “Also I am not about to let you guys run a gambling ring under my nose. That reeks of something I can get in trouble for.”

“Relax,” Penny told her, “It’s nothing bad. We’re all just placing bets on when Mr. Minkus is going to ask you out. Or vice-versa. Actually, there’s also a bet for if it happens at the same time. I think Frankie’s the one who’s got that bet, he’s been holding down the betting pool for the AP Physics class.”

“What?!” Riley exclaimed, “What do you mean you’re betting on us getting together?”

“Ms. Matthews, you and Mr. Minkus have been toeing around one another the last few years. We just figured we’d try and capitalize on it this year. I ran a soft betting pool last year sans money, and I think it turned out really well, personally,” Penny exclaimed.

“You two are just so cute together!” Maggie crooned from behind her.

“I really thought I was gonna win it, too, but then we came back and I had lost,” Jess pouted from the back of the classroom. Riley’s head was still reeling from the fact that her students were betting on her love-life.

“What made you think you were gonna win?” she asked Jess.

“Well, Tanner had told us that Mr. Minkus had moved into your apartment building at the end of the year, so I assumed it’d take you to the end of summer to get your crap together. I was wrong, apparently,” Jess said.

“Oh my god, I cannot have my students betting on my personal life. That is just all levels of wrong,” Riley announced, running her hands down her face. “Alright, no more of this! I am not condoning this strange gambling ring you’ve got going on. And Penny, you better tell Frankie to cut it out, too! Mr. Minkus and I need our students to recognize that there’s a reason we keep our personal lives out of the classroom. We’re here to learn, so if I catch you guys talking about it in class again, I’ll have no choice but to give you detention, okay?”

That effectively cut off any further chatter on the matter, and Riley sighed, shaking her head.

This was going to be a fun school year, no doubt about that.

(iv. the new teacher)

“The kids have a bet going on,” Riley told Farkle three weeks later. They were waiting their turn in the makeshift buffet line in the cafeteria, paper plates in their hands as they made their second trip for dessert. A potluck had been set up after school for the staff to celebrate the first month of school going off without a hitch (it was always Riley’s favorite; Lisa the Latin teacher always brought homemade lemon squares that were to die for.)

“Oh yeah?” Farkle asked.

“Apparently they’re in conjunction with your kids, as well. I had to stop a gambling circuit with actual money from forming in my classroom, but I think it’s already too late,” she groaned, stepping forward when the line moved.

“Wait, my kids, too? I know we get competitive against one another but isn’t that taking it a little too far?” he said, eyebrow raised in concern. “What could they possibly be betting on, they’re high schoolers!”

“You know, I asked the same question. Penny thought I was nuts for pestering her about it.”

“Penny Miller? Notoriously shy Penny Miller? That Penny?”

“Yeah, she’s the bookmaker. I think I made her too confident in my class, if that’s possible.”

“I think someone has an inflated ego. Narcissus, eat your heart out!” Farkle exclaimed, clenching his fist. Riley jabbed him in the side with her elbow.

“Rude! I am not egotistic. I just know my worth is all.”

“Narcissistic,” he coughed, earning him a look of disdain from her.

“You’re mean, Farkle Minkus.”

“I am what I am,” he shrugged, grabbing a piece of cake to place on his plate. “This cake looks too good to be Stacy’s. Is it possible that she honed her cake-making skills this summer, because if so, I’m here for it.”

“Pretty sure the new teacher made it,” the teacher across from him, Landon from the history department, cut in. “Stacy had to go on maternity leave at the last second.”

“New teacher?” Riley furrowed her brows.

“Yeah, Isadora Smackle, teaches calculus. She’s right over there,” he pointed ahead to a small, lanky girl with tan skin, long raven hair, and black cat-eye frames. Farkle’s mouth dropped open and Riley had to poke him to get his attention.

“Farkle?”

“What?” he answered, not really paying attention as his eyes remained on the new teacher. Riley pouted.

“I wasn’t done telling you about the bet. Don’t you want to hear about it?”

“Yeah, sure, but could you give me a moment? I’m gonna go talk to that new teacher,” he told her as he walked off towards Isadora Smackle.

Riley felt a pang of disappointment go through her, but she ignored it for the sake seeming ridiculous. He was just going to go talk to the new teacher, it wasn’t like he was going to abandon Riley at the potluck. It was their tradition to go to these things and bear them together, because as much as Riley put on a front about being comfortable around everyone, it really was only because she had Farkle there to make her feel comfortable.

Without him it was like . . . it was like she was missing a limb.

Riley stole two lemon squares (what, she was feeling sorry for herself!) and sat back down at the table the two of them had once preoccupied. She pretended not to watch them from afar, but she couldn’t help herself in the end—she’d never seen Farkle put himself out there like this; it was strange. But there he was, standing in front of Isadora Smackle with a goofy grin on his face, and despite seeming stiff still, she seemed just as charmed by Farkle.

Suddenly Riley didn’t feel like eating her lemon squares.

She waited for him to come back, too, but after a long while, she realized that was a fruitless effort. Farkle was glued to the new teacher and Riley was left deserted, so she threw out her lemon squares, found her bag, and left to go finish work in her classroom.

And if she ignored the obvious hurt snaking its way down her throat, well . . .

So be it.

(v. the grudge)

“Alright, I’m forcing you to eat with me, effective immediately,” Farkle announced as he barged into Riley’s classroom during lunch. She had her door shut to deter any office hours while she tried to catch up on grading, something that seemed to have been slipping by her lately.

The door was not shut, however, to one Farkle Minkus—she couldn’t keep him out even if she tried.

Riley eyed him warily as he set a bag down on her desk, pulling out the contents to reveal Chinese food from their favorite Chinese place down the street.

A bribe.

“Bribe me all you want, Minkus. I’m still busy,” she tried to brush him off, but Farkle was persistent. He didn’t take no for an answer, opening all the containers of food and placing chopsticks in front of her.

“Nope, not going to happen. You’re going to have lunch with me because snuck in all this food, and I’m not going to let it go to waste because somebody is being snippy with me,” he told her, tossing a plate in the only empty spot on her desk. “I hope you appreciate me because I bought orange chicken which I know you love and you know I detest, so dig in or so help me god.”

Well, Riley really couldn’t argue with that logic.

She sighed in resignation, abandoning her position at her computer and turning to face him. She picked up the chopsticks begrudgingly and began scooping rice onto her plate, a small smile on her face.

It was hard for Riley to stay mad at Farkle; he made it impossible.

“Fine, thank you for the food I didn’t ask for, Farkle,” she told him, emphasizing his name at the end for dramatic effect. The smug grin spread across his face quicker than lightning, and she would’ve done anything at that point to wipe it off (except she wouldn’t, she couldn’t.)

“You’re welcome, Riley. Now catch me up on stuff. I haven’t seen you in a hot second.”

“Penny’s still driving me nuts, there’s that. I know she’s still running that underground betting ring and it makes me so mad that I don’t know how to stop it,” Riley huffed. “Then, of course, I have to learn how to use photoshop along with the rest of the kids because I haven’t been able to afford photoshop on my own, so not only does my class get to fail, but they get to see me fail at it, too.”

“Riley,” Farkle said softly, reaching out to grip her hand, “You’ve got this. Your kids know how amazing of a teacher you are, and they know it’s as much of a learning curve for them as it is for you. You’ll get the hang of it because you’re Riley Matthews.”

She couldn’t help the feeling of warmth that spread through her body from his touch, how being around him alone made her mind ten trillion times calmer.

“Thank you, Farkle. For everything, really,” she smiled. Farkle smiled back at her, his mouth dropping open as he made to speak, but then Isadora Smackle (Smackle, she insisted upon being referred to as) opened the door and stuck her head through. Farkle released Riley’s hand at once, his attention turning to Smackle.

“Farkle, we have math club in five minutes! Did you forget you’re supposed to be going over important theorems in preparation for next weekend’s competition?” she asked. Farkle glanced over at Riley then back at Smackle, and Riley didn’t need to be a mind reader to know his decision.

“Go ahead, Farkle. Your math club needs you,” she told him, waving him towards the door.

“Rain check?” he asked as he stood up from the chair he’d pulled up to the desk. Riley nodded.

“Sure thing.”

Farkle waved and parted with a quick goodbye, disappearing out of Riley’s door and leaving her with a desk full of partially touched Chinese food.

Your math club needs you, she said aloud.

But I need you more, her heart cried out softly.

(vi. the planning committee)

As per usual, once October arrived, everyone began planning for the school’s fall festival. It was Riley’s favorite event of the year, the one she looked forward to every time autumn came around. She’d loved it so much her first year of teaching at the school that when the student council needed help after deciding to expand the festival outside of the gym, she volunteered without hesitation. And, of course, where Riley went, Farkle followed.

They always asked for volunteers inside of their classes, but this year Riley was proud that she could enlist her entire photography club to help, along with Farkle’s math club. Sure, things had changed between her and Farkle since the beginning of the semester, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t going to uphold tradition to help plan and set up the festival.

“We should be set for next week,” Rebecca, the student body class president, announced towards the end of their final meeting for planning. “I contacted all the food trucks that had said yes to confirm their attendance and they’re all still on board, Chelsea called the pumpkin patch to check and make sure the pumpkins would be delivered on time, all our booths have been divided between the photography club and math club, and we have a final announcement. Wanna take it away, Ben?”

Ben, the vice president, cleared his throat and a grin grew on his face.

“We didn’t want to say anything until the last minute just to make sure it was going to actually happen, but we booked a Ferris wheel this year!” he exclaimed. Everyone applauded and Riley’s mouth dropped open in surprise.

“That’s amazing, guys! This is going to be the best fall festival yet!”

“Thanks,” Rebecca said, a bashful smile creeping at the corners of her mouth. “Now, any last questions before we break until next week?” No one said anything, everyone in agreement that they had everything on lockdown. “Awesome! Thank you guys so much, and I can’t wait for next Saturday. This is going to be the bomb!”

Everyone began packing up, excited chatter filling the room as they all talked about the anticipated fall festival. Riley picked up her own bag and walked to meet up with Farkle, knocking her shoulder into his.

“Hey,” she greeted him cheerfully.

“Hey!” he echoed back, pulling his laptop bag over his shoulder and following her as they left the room they used for committee meetings.

“So, isn’t this awesome? We’ve got so many cool booths going on this year, food trucks, and a freaking Ferris wheel.”

“I know, I can’t believe how big it’s going to be. To think it was only a small set of booths and homemade crafts when we started out.”

“I loved it then, too, but I’m so glad we’ve been able to help it branch out a bunch. I just know I can’t wait to kick your ass at the ring toss. I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve been practicing all summer long,” she told him, smug. Farkle paused mid-step in the hall, a frown tugging the corners of his mouth downward.

“Uh, about that, Riley . . .”

“What?” she asked, glancing over at him. The look on his face was apologetic, and it suddenly dawned on her why.

“I asked Isadora if she wanted to go with me this year, I’m sorry,” he told her, brow furrowed.

“Oh. Okay,” Riley said, trying her best to keep her features schooled, “That’s . . . that’s fine. I’ll just help out with one of the booths this year. I’m sure Penny would love to have me help with pumpkin carving.”

“Riley, you love getting to do all this stuff at the festival. You don’t need me to have fun there.”

She shook her head.

“No, it’s really fine. I know Penny needed help with coordinating all the pumpkin stuff, so I’ll just do that. I want to see people enjoy it themselves more than anything, so this will make me just as happy,” she tried to reassure him, but her words felt flat even to her own ears.

“Riles . . .” Farkle trailed, wanting to fight her on the matter, but Riley gave him a sad sort of smile.

“I’ll be busy with work and photoshop classes, so see you at the festival?”

“Yeah, of course,” he agreed half-heartedly, and Riley waved goodbye before abandoning him in the hall to walk to her car.

In that moment, Riley felt like she was losing everything. She didn’t want to, but her heart felt the loss all the same; Farkle was supposed to be her best friend, the one who she went to all these school events with, the person who stuck by her side no matter what. But now that Smackle was in the picture, Riley found herself abandoned at these functions more often than not. What was once enjoyable to her had hinged entirely on Farkle being there with her, and that realization left her feeling . . .

Alone.

She felt alone, and she hated it.

(vii. the festival)

Riley put on her favorite purple-striped t-shirt, overalls, black converses, and braided her hair into twin pigtails, preparing herself for the festival. She topped the look off by tying a bow around her head, looking at herself in the mirror with confidence afterward. She was determined to enjoy the festival despite the fact that she was flying solo this year, and really, she could. The festival was always her favorite and although her plans changed, she had a feeling she’d still have fun.

She’d be damned if she didn’t.

Riley grabbed her bag and left her apartment, locking the door and resisting throwing a glance at the apartment door across from her. All she needed to do was shut her brain off and not worry about anything, not bother being bent out of shape about the sudden shift in her life.

Easier said than done.

Her brain had this unparalleled habit of holding on to every worry and anxious thought that cropped up inside her mind. It was hard to just shut that off; it was all she ever knew. But she also knew that she’d never forgive herself if she didn’t at least try to enjoy the day she’d been looking forward to all year long. It didn’t behoove her to ruminate, either, so she remained optimistic, actually thrilled to help carve and decorate pumpkins. Fall was still fall, her favorite season of the year, and nothing could stop her from that.

Not even dumb boys and dumb dates.

The festival was an array of glowing lights when she arrived, and that familiar spark of overwhelming joy coursed through her at the sight. There were already cars filling up the spaces of the parking lot despite the festival not starting for another ten minutes, and Riley couldn’t believe her eyes as she got out of the car, the Ferris wheel standing tall in all its grandiose glory. She beamed at all the hard work coming to fruition, knowing for certain that this was going to be their best festival yet.

“Ms. Matthews, I can’t believe you’re helping me out with pumpkins this year!” Penny greeted her, face already covered in wild face paint that made her look like a scarecrow.

“Yeah, I’m excited!” Riley exclaimed. “I’ve seen the way you’ve manned this booth singlehandedly the last couple of years and can’t wait to help you out.”

“Do you mind setting out some pumpkins for me, then? I still have to get the paint set up for the stations,” Penny asked.

“Sure thing!”

Riley did as she was told, setting out pumpkins of all different shapes, sizes, and colors, admiring each one as she set them down. She was glad that they used pumpkins from a local pumpkin patch and that they didn’t just stick to the standard orange ones, but the other sorts of gourds that came in a variety of colors. As soon as she finished, she noticed that people had already started filing in, kids, teenagers, and parents alike. They all wore bright grins and their eyes sparkled in wonderment at everything around them.

It made Riley’s heart feel warm to see it.

They manned their booth until all the pumpkins had been given away and decorated, happy to see everyone decorate their pumpkins in their own styles. Riley found herself caked with purple paint up the entirety of her arms, and when Penny saw it, she added a brushstroke of orange to her nose.

“To balance it out,” Penny had explained. Riley couldn’t argue with that logic.

By the time the last pumpkin had been gifted, the last few people remaining at the decorating stand, a familiar pair of people arrived.

“Hey, guys,” Farkle said, Smackle at his side. Riley’s smile at him came and went within a few seconds, from the moment she spotted him to the moment she noticed his fingers laced with Smackle’s.

“You look like you jumped in a vat of purple paint,” Smackle pointed out to Riley.

“I may as well have,” Riley found her voice.

“Too bad you two just got here, we’re out of pumpkins,” Penny told them with a shrug.

“That’s okay, we were just stopping by here to check out how everything was going before heading to the Ferris wheel,” Farkle said.

“Oh,” Riley said, her voice small.

“Well, why don’t you two go enjoy it, then? We’ll finish up here ourselves, thanks for visiting!” Penny cut in, an urgent edge to her tone as she shuffled Farkle and Smackle away from their booth. Riley sighed, crossing her arms against her chest as a dry hurt stuck itself in her throat.

“Hey, wanna get some funnel cake? It’s on me, Ms. Matthews; you look like you could use some sweet, fried food,” Penny offered, and Riley didn’t even have it in her to try and fight her on it. She just nodded her head, waiting while Penny grabbed her purse and then tugged her along towards the funnel cake truck.

Penny was right, in the end. Riley’s mood peaked again at the first taste of powdered sugar and fried dough, bursting into a fit of laughter when she noticed Penny had sugar caked all over her face after two minutes of having the confectionary. They wandered around the rest of the festival just to check things out, but Penny remained silent for the benefit of Riley, who appreciated the sentiment very much so. It floored her how caring and amazing her students were, especially Penny who had managed to land herself on Riley’s list after the bet debacle.

“You know, I am sorry about the bet thing,” Penny announced later, breaking the silence. Riley peered at her curiously, finishing her last bite of funnel cake before responding.

“Thanks. It did annoy me, but it didn’t matter to much to me until recently.”

“Do you think,” Penny began, “And don’t get mad at me, but do you think there might be another reason it bothers you?”

“What do you mean?” Riley asked. Penny’s mouth opened to respond, but her bright green eyes peered over to the Ferris wheel, widening in surprise when she saw something. Riley turned in time to see what it was exactly that Penny saw—

Farkle and Smackle were on the Ferris wheel together, and he was kissing her.

Suddenly, Penny’s question to Riley made sense, and more than that, the entire time since Smackle had entered the picture. Riley’s heart plummeted in her chest, her eyes stinging with regret.

Riley was in love with Farkle.

But she had realized it a day late and a dollar short, and now she had to face the repercussions and watch as he fell in love with someone else.

(viii. the breakup)

Riley’s epiphany at the fall festival was earth shattering and it hurt like hell, but that was it. Life went on after that and Riley did her best to ignore her feelings. She knew in retrospect that it had made sense, but there wasn’t much that knowing could do for her now. So she put herself into making herself better at photoshop for the kids, even signing them up for a special class at a local community college that focused on basic fundamentals of photoshop.

Her life wasn’t what it used to be, sure, but she learned to be happy with that. And she was.

Penny didn’t mention the underground betting ring again. In fact, she made it her personal goal to become Riley’s aide in class, sticking to her like Velcro. Riley didn’t know how to feel about the fact that her current best friend was twelve years younger than her but having Penny around was a welcome distraction. She was sweet and it made her happy that she had such wonderful students. Penny was also incredibly talented and actually knew a few photoshop skills that helped Riley out immensely.

Riley hardly saw Farkle anymore.

They were still friends, of course, but he rarely made the time he used to to see her, instead focusing his time on the math club and spending time with Smackle. Riley figured that she needed the space to clear her head, anyhow, because as much as he was her best friend, she depended on him for a lot.

This was . . . this was good for them.

Or that was what Riley tried to convince herself of.

She missed him more than anything, and not just because of her new-found feelings. Riley missed Farkle because he was her person, her best friend, the person she could depend on no matter what. And right now he was doing the one thing she never thought he could do.

He was letting her down.

But she ignored it, pushing her emotions deep down into a cavern in her chest and locking it shut. Riley had to focus on teaching her kids and enjoying her photography club, and idle feelings about Farkle were making themselves an obvious obstacle to that. So she allowed him to fade into the back of her mind, and things got better little by little.

Right until he threw himself back into her life.

“Do you mind if I take a seat next to you?” he asked her one day during one of their monthly staff meetings. It hurt Riley that he’d even feel the need to ask, but she understood that things were different. Not unfixable, just . . . different.

“Of course,” she told him, gesturing to the open spot beside her. His long gangly limbs settled himself into the seat, and Riley tried her best to not be charmed by him.

It didn’t work; it never really could when it came to him.

“You’re not sitting with Smackle today?” Riley inquired, curious. He shrugged half-heartedly.

“We broke up.”

Oh.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be. We all have a whirlwind romances,” he said, trying to brush it off, but Riley could tell he wasn’t unaffected by it. She relaxed herself around him, unable to tame her natural instinct to comfort him.

“Farkle, romance is romance. You care and regardless of the amount of time you spend together, it still sucks when it ends, even if it’s on your terms. You’re allowed to be affected by the world around you.”

“Can we just talk about it another time?” he asked instead. Riley gave him a soft smile.

“Of course. Wanna pull out the bingo board?”

Farkle beamed.

“Do I ever.”

(ix. the crush redux)

The thing was, Riley loved holidays. She loved the major holidays—Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Halloween—all of them were her favorites. But she also loved the lesser-known or lesser-loved holidays just as much.

She was just a holiday fanatic.

So, despite the event not having as much traction as the fall festival, Riley still maintained excitement for the winter formal. Dances weren’t quite the same for teachers; they didn’t get to enjoy that wonderful feeling of teenage angst and romance, of nerves and excitement at the prospect of getting to enjoy time with your crush. But it had an air of fun attached to it regardless, so Riley helped plan for it all the same.

This was, of course, one of the tasks Riley never asked Farkle to help with.

She volunteered her time completely of her own volition because she genuinely enjoyed planning events for the school, so anything outside of the fall festival Riley assured Farkle he didn’t need to participate if he didn’t want to. And he didn’t want to—usually.

Which was why it came as a surprise to Riley when he arrived five minutes past starting time and sat beside her in the planning committee room without a single word, just pure determination on his face.

“What are you even doing here?” Riley had whispered, only to earn a hush from Farkle.

“Shhh. We’ve gotta focus right now.”

She huffed back at him but obeyed directions all the same, her curiosity by his presence still piqued, nonetheless.

Everything had gotten better between them; they’d spent the last month getting reacquainted with their friendship, not only spending time together in school but out of school, as well. He’d insisted on taking her out to eat every Friday, and the two of them created lesson plans together every week. There was just one small hitch in their friendship that made everything just a little more complicated.

Riley knew she was in love with him now.

That was something she could hold back easily before, when she knew he was unavailable and didn’t want to make time for her. But now that he was single, he wanted to spend every second with her, and it made Riley want to tear her hair out from the frustration that was bubbling up inside her.

At least she knew she had the angst and romance ready to go for the winter dance.

“Any questions?” Rebecca asked. Riley stared blankly at her, her brain having picked up on none of what Rebecca had been saying.

“I’ll fill you in later,” Farkle whispered to her when he noticed the expression on her face. Riley hated being an open book sometimes.

“Let’s split into partners to get some ideas flowing for decorations. We’ll come back in five minutes. Alright, break!”

Riley and Farkle turned towards each other, both knowing they were going to be partners without having to ask.

“So, the theme is ‘winter’,” Farkle said cheekily. Riley stuck her tongue out at him.

“Up yours, Minkus.”

“Ms. Matthews,” he gasped, acting mock offended, “This is not appropriate conversation for the children.”

“You’re such a nerd! We need to be coming up with ideas, let’s go. We don’t wanna look like idealess losers.”

“Okay, okay, we can start brainstorming. I just have one question that you’re going to have to answer me honestly,” he said. Riley quirked her brow.

“Oh yeah?”

“Can you promise me we go to the winter formal together? I missed being able to be with you at the fall festival,” Farkle told her, and Riley felt the blood rush to her face.

This isn’t a date. He’s not asking you out on a date; you’re just friends! It’s a friend thing, and you’re going to be chaperones, Riley tried to convince herself.

“Of course I’ll go with you, Farkle. There isn’t anyone else I’d want to go with than you,” she said, groaning internally when she registered the weight of her words. It was too late to take them back, but it didn’t seem to matter because Farkle was beaming from her answer.

“I can’t wait,” he smiled, and Riley knew from that point forward that she was in too deep.

(x. the winter formal)

Riley signed up to help place all the decorations for the winter dance, so by the time she’s finished, she knows she’s gotta perform a miracle to get back on time. She has to return to her place, shower, get dressed, and apply her makeup all within the span of forty-five minutes. So she set a timer on her phone, painted a look of pure determination on her face, and took off like a rocket (while maintaining proper speed in order to avoid traffic violations.)

By some form of divine intervention, she accomplishes her goal with five minutes to spare. She zipped herself up inside her dress—an icy-blue, knee length dress with a semi-sweetheart neckline, spaghetti straps, and a shimmery, chiffon skirt—and slipped on her silver, strappy high heels, checking her makeup in the mirror one last time to make sure it was perfect. Her doorbell rang and she grabbed her crossbody purse, rushing off to answer the door.

“Hi,” she greeted Farkle happily as soon as she swung the door open. He looked very handsome in his navy-blue suit and silver tie and Riley felt her hands grow clammy.

This was starting to feel a lot like a date.

In fact, when she appeared in front of Farkle, his mouth dropped open as his eyes raked over her, and butterflies began fluttering around in her stomach at the notion of him checking her out.

“Uh, you look gorgeous,” he told her, Adam’s apple bobbing hard in his throat. He held a hand out to her, obviously trying to regain his cool (something she’s never known Farkle to have once in the entirety of her knowing him). “Ready to go?”

“Ready,” she nodded, grabbing his hand. His fingers laced with hers and she stepped out to shut and lock her door, following him down the hall and to his car afterward. They didn’t talk, but Riley didn’t mind it at all.

They arrived at the dance ten minutes after it began (they really didn’t mean to; The Backstreet Boys started playing on the radio and they had to jam out to it!) Riley smiled at all their hard work once they made it inside the gymnasium, happy to see it balanced out by the soft glow of disco lights they had placed all around. Iridescent snowflakes dangled from the ceiling, twirling around and shimmering playfully. Everyone looked wonderful in their formal outfits, all paired with huge grins just from having fun being out and around one another.

“Looks fantastic, Riles,” Farkle told her, nudging her gently with his elbow.

“I mean, I didn’t do all of it,” she shrugged, bashful, but Farkle shook his head.

“You still helped it look amazing. Anything Riley Matthews sets her mind to always turns out incredible.”

Riley wanted to squeal from embarrassment and giddiness from the compliments he was giving her, but she remained calm, instead tugging him towards the refreshments table. She scooped a cup of punch for him and then herself, and then they both stood off to the side of the gym in their own little area partially sequestered from the rest of the teachers. They made sure to do their job being chaperones, of course (high schoolers had a real knack for getting too close too one another for her comfort), but they also enjoyed themselves. Riley appreciated getting to spend quality time with Farkle, and he always knew how to make her laugh.

Then a slow song came on, one Riley could only call an indie slow dance song, and Farkle turned toward her with a sparkle in his eye that she couldn’t forget if she tried.

“Wanna dance?” he asked, his eyes bluer than a sky on a cloudless day. Riley could hardly find the words to say yes, so she nodded and allowed him to draw her out to the dance floor amongst the rest of the teenagers. He laid his hands on her waist while she hooked her arms around his neck and they swayed together rhythmically, their eyes never leaving one another’s.

“I feel silly dancing among all these teenagers,” she laughed.

“Do you wanna stop?” he asked.

“That’s the last thing I wanna do right now, Farkle Minkus,” she told him, her words soft as they left her tongue. Somehow, they had shifted closer to one another, and Riley could the ghost of Farkle’s breath on her cheeks.

“What’s the first thing you wanna do then?”

“I wanna kiss you,” she confessed, her eyes darting down quickly to his lips and then back up to his gaze. She wasn’t sure what had made her so brave but she was certainly glad for it, relieved to get that thought off her chest finally. And then Farkle said something that surprised her more than anything.

“I wanna kiss you, too.”

“Then what are you waiting for? Get the girl, Minkus,” she whispered to him. Farkle grinned and then leaned in, hovering for a second before pressing his lips against hers.

Nothing could have prepared her for the feeling of kissing Farkle Minkus—it was like electricity coursing through her system, all of her neurons firing off in her head at once. His fingers reached up to cup her face, the warmth of his hands burning an imprint into her skin.

Finally, her heart sang.

“Oh my god!” someone screamed behind them, causing them to break apart. Riley peered over Farkle’s shoulder and saw Penny standing there, pure elation on her face.

“Oh no,” Riley groaned into Farkle’s chest, and she felt the vibrations of his chuckle against her skin.

“I can’t believe I won the bet!” Penny continued, grinning ear to ear. Riley shot her a look of surprise.

“Wait, you guessed we’d get together at the winter formal of all things?”

Penny shrugged.

“I’m a romantic at heart. I had a good feeling about it.”

“Well, congratulations, Penny, but do you mind?” Farkle said. Penny turned red, sputtering a goodbye as she left them on their own. Riley laughed at the ridiculousness of the entire situation.

“What even are our lives?”

“The best ones out there, I’d wager. If I didn’t take this job, I’d never have met you, Riley Matthews,” Farkle told her.

“And I’d never have met you, Farkle Minkus. Guess life has a funny way of making things work out in the end,” Riley said.

Farkle agreed with her by pulling her in for another kiss, and Riley couldn’t help but think she had the best life in the entire universe.

#riarkle #riley x farkle #Riarkle fanfiction #riarkle fanfic

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lovelyirony · 5 years ago

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'i’m the best worst thing that hasn’t happened to you yet' - for winter13 please? :)

Winter Soldier is a freelancer now. It’s surprising given the ironclad grip that Hydra had held over him, but it was...nice. To escape from their grasp, to be on the run and choosing jobs for himself. There was no RSVP checkpoint, no orders that had to be exact.

He got a job, executed it well (forgive the pun), and sometimes had coffee afterwards.

Of course, he took jobs from all over. As long as payment was discreet and so was the job, people were happy to pay a man who had once been a machine.

Jobs from all over meant that there were always requirements. He had no problem disposing of members of Hydra, but SHIELD was a bit trickier. Winter Soldier reserved the right to refuse a job, and had countless times now.

(Countless. Almost made him giddy.)

Agent Thirteen. The newest assignment.

The hit came from someone inside SHIELD. Which isn’t as suspicious as most would think. SHIELD is many things, but thorough is not always one of them. There are people that slip through the cracks because they get a second chance, something that Barnes thinks they could learn from ever since Jasper Sitwell has become...ill-disposed of. And Pierce has died mysteriously with files about Hydra’s involvement plastered to his chest.

But Agent Thirteen is born-and-bred into SHIELD. Her great-aunt was the leader of it all, and she ruled with iron in her bones and a heart that cared genuinely. She stayed late nights at the office, kept a knife on her at all times, and was...surprising.

There was a reason Hydra laid as low as it did throughout the years.

He had heard that Agent Thirteen lived up to the expectations set upon her. But he wasn’t sure that she was deserving of the fate that someone else had in store for her.

So he decides to move next door. Whoever was living there has moved out, so he’s moving in as Jim Wetzel. Typical first name, not last. SHIELD is the absolute queen of taking generic names, having a “just-moved-in” neighbor that’s a little too tense, a little too observant.

Jim Smith wouldn’t do. Jim Smith is too generic. No one names their kid Jim Smith anymore, it’s like sirens wailing loudly.

So he’s Jim Wetzel. He shakes with his right hand, smiles at the woman who says her name is Kate--it most definitely isn’t--and they exchange pleasantries.

“When did you hear about the place? It seemed awfully...fast,” Thirteen says.

“A friend of a friend knows some people a couple floors down, got the message from them,” Jim says with a shrug. “And now here I am. How long have you been here?”

“Almost a year now,” she responds kindly. “Keep an eye out for the washer on the left, I don’t trust it.”

“Good advice,” Jim says with a laugh. “See you around, Kate.”

Kate. What a bad name in the mouth. He’s not sure if it just sounds fake or if it’s because he knows she’s not a Kate.

He has never really moved in before. Not at this level, not for this long. He has furniture, and he went to the thrift store and bought an eclectic collection of plates and mugs, most of which are very weird. One mug might be cursed, he’s not sure yet.

Then he sets up shop. SHIELD’s hours run from six a.m. to about eight at night, or later if you’re a very good employee. Or a very bad one. Either way, Sharon may stay later. So he has ample time to place bugs.

The problem is that she will know all the typical places. Under the television, underneath the bed. (Which he wouldn’t do anyway, because you get...interesting noises.)

So he has to be sneaky with places, think outside the box.

Her apartment really is quite nice. Tasteful decorations, small portraits that are obviously faked. He finds her guns and knives, and one set of poison darts that are innocuously disguised as toothpicks in a jar. He thinks it’s cute.

Meanwhile, “Kate” is pretty fucking sure that her next-door neighbor is either a spy or a model. Potentially both. But no one that hot just “surprise” moves in, and no one can hold two boxes with one arm unless they’re Natasha, but Natasha would be smooth if she was struggling. This guy didn’t even look like it was a problem.

So she is suspicious.

But she is also interested in this guy. He’s her type: a little bit dangerous, nice smile, and probably looks good in navy blue.

So when she comes home at eight-thirty, she does check her home.

She finds one bug. She’s sure there are more in places that she would never check, and this means that this guy has been in the business a hell of a lot longer than she thought. It also means she’ll have to run facial recognition on any chance that he’s recognizable, and those chances are slim.

But she cannot dismantle the bugs yet. She has to leave them there until she has enough evidence to be a nice neighbor and confront him with a nice dish of brownies.

It’s odd, living in a place that you know is bugged. She knows that he didn’t touch the bedroom. Hmph. She would have.

She smiles at him in the hallway when they wake up the same time.

“Where you off to, Jim?” She asks, holding her briefcase.

“Gym,” he answers. “Gotta get it in somehow, you know? What about you, work?”

“Boring office job,” Kate answers easily. Kate does have a boring job. It’s all paperwork and accounting and the classes she would have failed if she had taken them in college. “Where do you work?”

“Private security firm,” he answers. Which is kind of true. He is independent. “Just making sure people stay safe from threats.”

“Important work,” Kate says lightly. “Ever go wrong?”

“Rarely.”

She nods, stepping forward as the elevator door opens. “Good luck today, Jim. Hope the workout goes as planned.”

Okay. Bucky knows she’s onto him now.

Shit.

Sharon has important shit to do.

But she is not an art student.

So she is trying to convince Agent Jenson to draw someone for her.

“I will buy you the good donuts,” Sharon begs. “You know I wouldn’t be doing this for any other reason.”

“One time when you were bored you made Thea on third floor photoshop Clint into a McDonald’s ad just to see if you all could get it to Times Square and you did,” Jenson says, deadpan. “I’m not sure how Barton doesn’t get recognized, he’s gotten on national news twice.”

“The marketing team describes him as a Florida man, we got lucky,” Sharon argues. “And Barton isn’t involved in this.”

Agent Jenson cannot be convinced.

But Sharon gets lucky because Coulson loves history.

James fucking Barnes.

Jim.

Goddammit. She’s screwed. And it’s only Thursday.

When she comes home at ten o’clock (yes she did procrastinate going home, it’s not like you can’t procrastinate death), she has a gun trained on her door.

Right on Jim, who has a knife raised.

“You know, why aren’t we both rational about this?” Sharon asks. “I’m sure you can talk diplomatically, Barnes.”

“I can. But I find more truth in threats and statements rather than diplomacy. Politicians aren’t known for telling the truth.”

“Good thing I don’t have a plan to go into politics,” Sharon says. “So let’s sit down. I’m not gonna hold this gun for twenty minutes.”

And then they sit. That’s awkward.

“I need to know something,” Barnes says. “And I’ll know if you’re lying.”

“Of course you will. I’d be concerned if you didn’t,” Sharon says. “So. Why were you sent to kill me?”

“There are rumors of you being disloyal to SHIELD. I need to know if you’re working for anyone else.”

“No. Not ever.” He nods.

“Who hired me?” she asks.

“A man who goes by Crossbones,” Bucky says.

“Oh my god,” Sharon groans. “Of fucking course it’s Rumlow...”

Bucky freezes. He knows that name. He remembers that man.

“New plan,” he says. “You’re gonna help me get rid of Rumlow.”

Sharon blinks.

She’s used to decisions being made over a series of days. This is...this is new.

“This is personal, isn’t it?”

“You’re smart,” Bucky says bitterly. “He’s an asshole. And I hate him a lot.”

“Got it,” Thirteen says. “Then let’s switch it up. Draw him to where I am. I’ll take care of the rest. You’re on clean-up.”

“I’ve never had a team-up before,” Bucky says. “But I usually think we know each other’s names.”

“Sharon,” she says. “Bucky, right? Or do you seriously go by Jim?”

“Not like Bucky is any better,” he mentions. “But yeah. Bucky. Pleasure doing business with you, Sharon.”

“Better get started,” she says.

(Oh, he’s in love.)

#lovelyirony writes #winter13 #sharon carter #bucky barnes #buckysharon #i love them.......they #sharon #bucky #winter soldier #agent thirteen #they are both capable!#and a little bit too good for their own good!

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alessandrxs-a · 5 years ago

Text

* 𝐇𝐒𝐇𝐐𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐊𝟎𝟎𝟓 : 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒖𝒏 .

001. name / age / pronouns

lina / 21 / she & her

002. which character(s) do you play?

ale , amon , omari & renee !

003. nationality / ethnicity / timezone

british / caucasian / gmt

004. tell us a bit about your ( home / current ) country / city / etc. your pick

i�� kinda moved around a lot as kid so nowhere was rly PERMANENT except from i was born & mostly raised in a teeny ass town in yorkshire where everything is old school ( like we even have our own castle , look up conisbrough & u’ll bear witness ) but currently i’m living in staffordshire where my dad’s from & there’s literally nothing to do here ! so most of the time i go venturing off to manchester or smth bc then at least there’s smth to do askjdnasjk but yeah , it’s literally boring . we’re famous for potteries though !

005. favourite color / fruit / season

mint green / apples or strawberries !! / summer bby

006. favourite books + writer whose writing style you admire the most

this is seriously so hard for me bc i love a lot of books but my favourites are probably a toss up between the great gatsby ( we studied that book in college & it’s always been one of my favourite reads ) , the divergent series or the maze runner series ! i rly adore veronica roth’s writing bc i think it’s so simple but it’s also so descriptive & so easy to understand .

007. what kinda music do you listen to + any fave bands / musicians

this is like asking me to choose a favourite child dkjnfddf but honestly my music taste differs ? but to give u a taste , i rly love lauv / bazzi / LANY / the 1975 / YMAS / all time low / fall out boy / selena gomez’s recent album is BOMB ok change my mind / charlotte lawrence / u can’t go wrong with some normani / the weeknd / honestly probably more but i'm doing this one the whim ok pls don’t yell at me dkjnfdffdk

008. what are you doing for a living / what are you studying?

i studied english language , literature , & media in college but now i work in a nursing home & am a care assistant to the elderly !

009. what’s your dream occupation?

right now i would say my end goal would just to develop my career & eventually get into nursing , but idealistic i would like to publish my own book one day if my dumbass can commit to one stupid story line

010. relationship status

single & i couldn’t be happier abt it

011. coffee, tea or hot chocolate?

i have coffee beans coming out of my hears

012. dream holiday destination?

i’m basic & jus wanna go to italy , even if it’s just for the weekend , PLS . but also america or australia

013. the thing you’re most proud about yourself

i would say time management but ik that’s a lie bc i can’t stick to a set schedule to save my own life but ig i’m very dedicated ? i’ve also come out of my shell in recent years which is something younger me would cry abt before doing ( ur girl has an actual PHONE voice now . without STUTTERING . that’s progress my dudes ) so i guess growing into myself & becoming more comfortable in social situations ? idk SKJDFKJNNK

014. tell us a bit about your family!

i have an older sister & a little brother ( who’s rly my half brother & is taller than me , but he’s still younger ) ! i have a lil niece called eliza - mae who is literally a little shit the biggest part of the time but she’s honestly so fucking cute my heart melts every single time i see her . i live with my mum & ( step ) dad & we’re a pretty close family who torment each other’s soul cases out

015. how long have you known your closest friend?

my whole life ( it’s my mum dfkjghkjf )

016. superpower you’d like to have?

to read ppl’s minds so i can channel edward cullen

017. celebrity you’d like to meet?

when i tell u i’ll do anything to meet mbj , i mean anything

018. guilty pleasures

binge watching tv shows that i’ve seen ten million times over , mainly tvd bc stefan salvatore ? i would Die for him

019. pet peeves

ppl talking with their mouth full . like ur lips DO close , u know

020. do you have any hobbies?

does photoshop count ?

021. where would you like to live in the future?

honestly probably australia , when we were in school we did a house hunting thing in TT & me & my friend would jus look at houses in australia that we could never afford 🤷🏼‍♀️

022. tell us a story about a thing that recently happened to you! it can be a funny, scary, sad story, your pick!

idk i’m rly boring djkfndkjf but i once got dragged for having a stefan salvatore based discord ? & then i changed it up to katherine pierce & got called out for trying to be sneaky . u can Never win #itried

#hshqtask005 #naomi i hope ur happy bc even i fell asleep while WRITING this #* ❪ 𝐚𝐝𝐬 ❫ ◞ 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 ⤿ tasks .

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shemakesmeforget · 6 years ago

Text

25 fics to pick you up

Humor, crack not crack, romcom fics for @cuttlemefishwrites and y’all. I tried to make this list short, I SWEAR idk ENJOY!! Also you can check some other fic recs by moi here, here and here.

(i'm) the boy you'd die for by jenmishe

Canonverse, Rated T, 6K

v-nikiforov ✓

[Video: A short clip where Victor is laying dramatically on the couch with miserable expression. “Heartbreaker” by Marina and the Diamonds is playing.]

13,481 likes

v-nikiforov✓ Am I the another one? (((

vitYASS victor,,,, honey,,,, i lvoe you so much,,,, but WHY are you like this.

red-blue-gay but??? does that mean that somebody has broken victor’s heart???? I DON'T UNDERSTAND

christophe-gc ✓ You’re ridiculous.

starsaregay But who recorded it?? Makkachin???

vityathebabe user @starsaregay asking the real question.

--- The adventures of Yuuri "Heartbreaker" Katsuki, or: how Yuuri became known as a cold player full of himself who doesn't care about anyone. (Hint: it's an anxiety and obliviousness.)

• ADORE!!! oblivious heartbreaker Yuuri + social media fic. The best description is actually one of the tags: everyone is in love with Yuuri: the fic.

He Should Know by Lady_Ganesh

Past Yuuri/Chris, Canonverse, Rated T, 2K

A public service announcement Chris and Yuuri made for the Sochi Olympics comes to light.

• HI HI this speaks to me directly: Viktor is a dork and jealous and Yuuri is precious.... I just love this so much.

Master Plans by Qwertzu (@qwertzu824)

Canonverse ish, Rated T, 17K

Who wouldn't want to date Yuuri and/or Viktor? Nobody is immune to their charm - including random strangers, who unfortunately have no idea the two are happily married and totally smitten with each other...

• This series!!! outsider pov, identity reveal, and the last installment!!!!! I die. You'll laugh and you’ll feel sorry for these people at the same time.

The Way to Life and Love is a Curved Trajectory by crossroadswrite (@crossroadswrite)

Canonverse, Rated T, 5K

“Do you know Katsuki Yuuri?” Victor asks Chris, two minutes later, when he finally manages to convince himself to stop looking at the dip of Katsuki’s back and his powerful thighs in those tight Mizuno track pants, and the way his hands are poised in the air mid-skate, and his slicked back hair and brown eyes and flushed cheeks.

Christophe hums into the phone in a way that suggests he not only knows Katsuki Yuuri but he’s acquainted with him. Chris’ version of acquaintance is very physical and usually involves a healthy amount of groping. “Don’t you?”

“He’s Japan’s Ace,” Victor says, trying to rack his brain for more information. “His step sequence is good?”

Chris hums again. “You’re not that oblivious that you haven’t heard of Unfairly Beautiful Yuuri.”

“Who?”

(Or, the one where Victor falls - literally and then figuratively - for Yuuri. Also something about a Best Ass Poll that is way more official than it should be.)

• Alternate first meeting <3<3<3 you have it all: social media, pining and THAT ASS. I would say 12/10 would read again, but I have already, a bunch of times.

What you should know about dating a man with children by SassySalchow (diedraechin) (@diedraechin)

Canonverse, Rated G, 2K

Based off a tumblr drabble prompt and then grew too big...

"AU scenario where the skaters mistake the triplets for Yuuri's kids when they first meet him, possibly when he brings them to the skater-only area as a b-day treat, or something? (Kudos if you can work in jealous!Victor somehow, but the skaters having a fun reaction would be A+, tbh. Would be lovely if you could include Chris and/or Yurio :D )

• Ahhhhhh my quick fix for whenever I’m feeling down, this Viktor is such a dork and extra, I love him.

5 times Viktor encountered culture shock in Hasetsu + 1 time Yuuri did by forochel (@forochel)

Canonverse, Rated T, 3K

this fic ... basically does what it says on the tin.

• I adore not so smooth Viktor in an environment he can't control (or at least do some research lol), good stuff.

Five Times Chris's Dating Advice Was Ignored By Russian Skaters by liliths

Canonverse, Rated T, 3K

—and one time it wasn't.

Christophe Giacometti. Twenty-five. Cat lover, chocolate eater. Professional Swiss figure skater and confirmed Grand Prix finalist. Running an unofficial dating advice ring for Russian skaters who don't listen to him to begin with. How did his life come to this?

Chris-centric, in which he is done with literally everyone. Except the dog.

• Chris is heaven sent and deserves a medal for dealing with awkward russian skaters.

just like me they long to be by sparklespiff (@todaythesamesky)

Canonverse, Rated T, 3K

"Haven't you noticed that Yuuri gets everything he wants?"

"Everything that's in somebody else's power to give him," Mari says, before Victor can bring up last year's GPF. "He's not magic, just pretty."

"But it's like magic. My theory is that it's because he's sneaky beautiful, so you're not expecting it, and then, under all that stuff, whoa! Gorgeous. And it's too late to save yourself."

"Stuff?" Victor keeps smiling but makes his voice cold, the way he does when reporters overstep. His Yuuri doesn't have stuff. Everything about him is beautiful.

or:

Yuuri lives in a Beautiful Person Bubble. It's Victor's responsibility to make sure he never finds out.

• Again with oblivious heartbreaker Yuuri, this is ridiculously funny. Also, Mari and Phichit??? A++

The Boyfriend Paradox by japansace (@japansace)

Canonverse, Rated T, 3K

For some inexplicable reason, Yuuri speaks Russian.

Now, as everyone knows, there are only two viable reasons why anyone ever learns a foreign language:

1. For school. 2. To impress a foreign love interest.

And Victor can’t quite bring himself to believe that Yuuri would be at all studious enough to hunt down Russian classes in Detroit of all places.

(Or: Victor gets jealous of a boyfriend that doesn’t exist.)

• We all think Yuuri is dense and oblivious but like Viktor is just????? SO BLIND???? it’s adorable.

The Thirst Trap by CharmingMonsters

Canonverse, Rated M, 12K (WIP)

Victor Nikiforov reads Thirst Tweets for a Buzzfeed video; Yuuri is anonymously quoted and wants to die. Phichit makes sure everyone is properly hydrated.

• Awkward meet cute, Yuuri the fanboy, sad pre Yuuri Viktor, hilarious but the feels omg

Giacometti & Co. by Anna (arctic_grey) (@finleighsaid)

Past Viktor/Chris, Past Yuuri/Chris, Canonverse, Rated M, 7K

Against his shoulder and into the fabric of his t-shirt, Yuuri mumbled, “HaveyoueversleptwithChris?”

He choked on his breath. Oh. Uh. “Errrr…” His mind raced. “A little?”

aka the fic where both Viktor and Yuuri have slept with Chris.

• Amazing!! I owe this fic so much! like really, this is cute, fun and jealous Viktor is the cherry on top.

The Early, Awkward Years by Nomanono (@nomanono)

Viktor/Chris, Canonverse, Rated E, 6K

Victor Nikiforov wasn't always smooth and suave. His singular focus on skating created a pronounced inability to people, and Chris winds up bearing the brunt of his sexual incompetence.

• This is beyond funny, I had to stop reading 3 times to properly laugh. Inexperienced, not a playboy Viktor is the best best and Chris tries so hard, poor thing.

it's like you're photoshopped by Metis_Ink

Actors AU, Rated T, 10K

Not-So-Local Ex-Dancer Upsets Coworkers by Failing to Communicate with Celebrity Castmate, details at eleven.

//Yuuri just wants to retire already.

• The actual movie is amazing? the author literally wrote an entire musical for this fic, mad respect. And at some point I cried, legit tears, because I was laughing so hard.

Pinning and Pining by Multiple_Universes (@witharthurkirkland)

Porn actors AU, Rated E, 51K

Victor starts his career as a porn star, working for a studio that has a somewhat… artistic approach to the whole genre. But that’s not the problem. The problem is: he can’t find a way to ask his hot co-star to be his boyfriend.

An AU where Victor and Yuuri are both porn stars who, despite all the hot sex filmed for a ton of movies, still end up in a situation where Yuuri is oblivious and Victor is pining away.

• The porn movies are so cheesy and bad but like artistic so you just laugh and laugh. Viktor is such a softie and there’s so much unresolved romantic tension, a big fave.

though the stars walk backward by alykapedia (@alykapediaaa)

Space AU, Rated T, 8K

“Trust your heart if the seas catch fire, live by love though the stars walk backward.” - E.E. Cummings

Yuuri's only ever wanted to send a message out into the great vastness of space, maybe witness First Contact during his lifetime. He gets his wish. And then some.

• Alien viktor!!! an intergalactic booty call!!! fantastic!

Much Ado About Something by eternalsunshine13, Skowronek (@eternalsunshine13, @kaja-skowronek)

Space AU, Rated T, 33K

By day, Victor Nikiforov is the head of European operations for LearX, a company on the forefront of private space travel. By night, he is makka-baby on Tumblr, a prominent figure in the small but passionate poodle fandom.

By day, Yuuri Katsuki runs F.O.O.L., a subsidiary of Katsuki Enterprises, whose stated goal is to bring LearX down one lawsuit after another. By night, he’s oodlesofpoodles, an active member of the poodle fandom and possibly makka-baby’s biggest fan.

By day, they duke it out in court. By night, they become friends—and maybe something more—as they fall for each other one Tumblr message at a time.

Or: a romantic comedy starring two idiots in love, the Katsuki family, the mothers Nikiforov, the husbands Chulanont-Giacometti, two doggos, six hamsters, one Yurio, and many, many schemes to get our favorite lovebirds together.

• Do they really hate each other?? are they falling in love?? is the tumblr app gonna crash all the damn time? I won't tell, you gotta read this.

The Vastness of Space by shysweetthing (@shysweetthing)

Space AU, Rated E, 16K

As chief communications officer on board the Interstellar Alliance Fleet’s Star Ship Victory, Yuuri doesn’t have to think about who he actually is on his home planet. He just has to listen to his captain, do his job, and…not fall in love with his best friend, the ship’s science officer, Victor Nikiforov.

Well. Two out of three’s not bad.

Then his mother calls with the worst possible news: She, the Empress of New Nihon, has arranged Yuuri’s marriage. There’s only one thing Yuuri can do: Fake a boyfriend, and fake one fast. Who better/worse to play that role than the friend he wishes was more? What can go wrong? It’s not like Yuuri can fall more in love...

• Mutual pining, fake dating and arranged marriage AND SPACE UGHHH all my weak spots. So sweet and good and the writing is on point, i cry.

The Unknown Unknown by opalish

Superpowers AU, Rated T, 7K

Yuuri never meant to become a supervillain. These things just happen to him.

• One of the funniest fics I’ve ever read, the author has the best comic timing and this fic is beyond me like I practically laughed the whole time.

Dr. Shiny and the Case of the Beautiful Man by ShatteredPrism (@etherealalchemist)

Doctors AU, not rated, 6K

There are about five things that Victor, in this very moment, is absolutely sure of.

1. The spawns of satan are here 2. they are not accompanied by their angel of a mother 3. they are with the most beautiful man he's ever seen 4. his scrubs are wet from where he'd dropped water on himself 5. and Victor is very, very gay.

Emphasis on point five, with a side of cupid's arrow and "ba-dum ba-dum" on a plate.

Because he is Very Gay, and not only is he Very Gay but he is also Hopelessly Attracted to a man who is undoubtedly Very Straight and very Unavailable and is perhaps the Most Beautiful Man Victor has ever seen.

---

in which Victor is a doctor, Yuuri is a godfather, and Yuri just wants some peace and quiet and a larger stash of lollipops.

• So pure and fun and Viktor is so so so extra.

pass that dutch by kiaronna (@kiaronna)

High School/Mean Girls AU, Rated T, 5K

Maybe Viktor shouldn't have watched Mean Girls before he started his first day of high school in the United States, but he can't help it if he is suddenly inducted into his high school's very fashionable, Instagram-obsessed royalty. He can't help falling in love with the cute soccer player in his literature class, either. Even if he's supposed to be off limits.

• This captures the feel of the movie just right and Viktor is a mess, it’s just so cute.

esnake artist by sizhu (@sizhu)

Neighbors AU, Rated T, 1K

Yuuri meets the disarmingly attractive neighbor from upstairs, courtesy of Phichit forgetting to feed their scale baby.

Snakes like to go on adventures, too.

• Sassy Yuuri defending his reptile baby, a blessing.

all the types of dating by igneousbitch (@makkachinning)

Geology AU, Rated E, 8K

The only type of dating geologists are good at is radioactive carbon-dating. The rest goes completely over their heads.

(Viktor and Yuuri are geology professors leading a field course in Western Australia. Chaos ensues.)

Alfred shifts awkwardly. Looks at Viktor and Yuuri, and asks, “So, uh. Are you guys dating?”

Yuuri greatly misunderstands, and Viktor panics.

Of course we are, Yuuri says. Rather critically, he thinks to himself: why else would he be here, in the scorching, godforsaken heat, surrounded by a hundred kilos of rock, if not for the purpose of radiometric dating?

• I have no idea about geology and I still enjoyed this AU a lot, they’re pining so hard and ugh friends to lovers, my kryptonite.

Unconventional by so_shhy

Fandom AU, Rated M, 4K

After freezing up in front of his idol at a comic con panel, Yuuri decides that he needs an awful lot of alcohol to get over the embarrassment. It is a decision he will regret.

The fandom AU I can’t believe I wrote, featuring movie star!Victor Nikiforov and fanfic author!Yuuri Katsuki.

• So much second hand embarrassment but in a fun way, just brilliant.

If you can't take the heat... by mtothedestiel (@summersteve)

Reality show/Chef AU, not rated, 81K (WIP)

Stay tuned, coming up next it's Top Chef: International! Join thirteen chefs from around the globe as they battle it out for glory and prizes in the one and only New York City (and share all their innermost thoughts along the way!) Who will emerge victorious, and who will burn out?? Heartwarming triumphs, devastating eliminations, and even ~forbidden romance~ are all coming your way on this showstopping season of Top Chef!

• The script format threw me off for some time until I decided to read it and omg?? what a fool I’ve been for so long!!! this is incredible and well researched and makes me hungry all the damn time.

Coming Home Again by carafin (@carafinn)

Roommates AU, Rated T, 10K

Yuuri, given to periodic bouts of paranoia, would often wonder if Viktor is, in fact, a Russian drug lord on the loose, seeking refuge in a nondescript town in America. This would explain a manner of things: his evasiveness whenever probed about his job; the way he’d unpredictably throw out incisive, thoughtful commentary about the morning news over breakfast; his expensive tastes in shirts, watches, and wallets alike; why he’d want to stay here with Yuuri, of all places, when the contents his wardrobe alone could probably afford him a year-long stay at any condominium of his choice in the trendiest part of town.

And then he goes on to discover that Viktor actually has a premium account on club penguin, and that his five penguins are named Peanut Wigglebutt, Luke skyhopper, Zing Zing, Otto Von Longdong, and Mooshoo Vegetable, and beats the idea to death in his head.

• High quality hyper realistic amazing Yuuri the medical student being a mess, Viktor being a mystery but still a dork. Cute romance!!

#yuri on ice #fic rec #yoi fic rec #it's incredibly difficult to not rec z her own stuff #chel fic recs

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timeagainreviews · 6 years ago

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Classic Baddies for the Thirteenth Doctor!

As a fan of classic Doctor Who, one of my favourite elements of the new series has been the anticipation as to which classic villains will make an appearance. Not only is it cool to see more of these older monsters, but it’s also exciting to see how they update their look. Some really nail it too. Keeping the classic design of the Daleks while making them look more tank-like and utilitarian in 2005 was a masterstroke. I liked that they embraced the Ice Warriors’ original look as well. While I may not be as hot on the updated Silurians, or Autons, it’s always fun to see classic villains regardless.

When Chris Chibnall mentioned that there would be no classic villains in series 11, my heart sank a little. Are they necessary for Doctor Who to be successful? Not hardly. But it’s fun dammit. Even if they were cameos like the Macra or the Movellans, these were moments I looked forward to. I have a sort of checklist I like to go through with each series of new Who. Are there classic villains? Check. Does the Doctor meet a figure from history? Check. Series 11 has one of those.

It’s been no secret that a major criticism of series 11 has been its lack of compelling villains. I myself have been vocal about this disappointment. So I thought I would make up a list of 10 classic villains I would like to see the Thirteenth Doctor go up against. I’m basing these off a few factors. Personal favourites, Jodie’s vibe, the era, etc. Enjoy! And feel free to add your own!

1. Autons

First Appearance: "Spearhead from Space" (1970)

I know they have already returned. I know I said I didn’t like their update. That’s exactly why they’re on this list now. I didn’t exactly hate the updated Autons when I first watched them. At the time, I didn’t have any classic villains to compare them to, as they were new to me. I thought they were pretty corny and not very scary, even as they did openly murder people in the streets of London. But when seeing "Spearhead from Space," for the first time, I was supremely creeped out. The newer Autons remind me of the movie theatre scene in “Human Traffic.” Just a bunch of dancers doing the robot. Not very scary. And turning the Nestine consciousness into a big vat of CGI goo, as compared to a giant plastic space squid seems like a crime. They’re due an update.

2. Voord

First Appearance: "The Keys of Marinus" (1964)

These guys creep me out. Their costumes are really stupid, and I still find them creepy. They’re like spiky fish men mixed with Egyptian gods. Ignoring the weird "Voord became Cybermen," storyline, and focusing on the fishman aspect would be the way to go. Could you imagine their costume if updated correctly? I picture a mix between Edward Scissorhands and a scuba diver. I’ve wanted to see Jodie encounter these guys ever since "The Ghost Monument," reminded me of "The Keys of Marinus." Something about First Doctor villains with the first female Doctor kinda works for me too. Speaking of First Doctor villains…

3. Zarbi

First Appearance: "The Web Planet" (1965)

Ok, so this one is a bit of a cheat. I know the Zarbi aren’t really a villain by their own doing. In many ways, these oversized ants are just dumb animals. But the biggest way this is a cheat is because I just want them so we can have the Menoptera! I love those stupid moth cuties. I think an updated one of them could look really fun. Think the aliens from the queue scene in the "Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy," movie. Something between realistic, and fantastical. They would also add a much-needed sense of levity to the Chibnall era.

4. The Dominators

First Appearance: "The Dominators" (1968)

The Dominators are a race of men whose name pretty much describes their modus operandi. Having long ago developed beyond the need for women, these guys seem an obvious choice to go up against a female Doctor. Their look is simple enough to update. They need only to look armoured and militaristic. Their robot drones, the Quarks, would be the real challenge to update, but I’m sure they’d nail it. I would be interested in seeing a more bureaucratic ruling class of Dominators as well. Perhaps instead of having a male and female population, they have the soldiers and the suits. Could be a really interesting way to talk about the insular nature of toxic masculinity. This would fit in well with Thirteen’s villains being chauvinistic shitbirds that don’t like women much.

5. Axons

First Appearance: "The Claws of Axos" (1971)

I’ve heard the Axons get a bit of flack in the past, which is bananas to me. There’s so much potential there. They have a rather psychedelic look, and then they get super gross. I’ve always seen them as very retro style monsters. Jodie’s costume has a real 1970’s "Godspell," look about it, so I always picture her going up against monsters that look the part. They wouldn’t be hard to update either. I would make the golden lines on their humanoid forms slightly raised, like a system of fibres across their skin. And of course, their squidgy red form could be a tangled mass of CGI that kinda bubbles up from the gold lines. The transformation scenes could get very visceral. They’ve got a sneaky nature about them. Like anglerfish, their beautiful golden appearance conceals a horrific monster. They’re known for making Faustian deals with people fool enough to believe their lies. How could we resist?

6. The Mara

First Appearance: "Kinda" (1982)

Many people love the Kinda/Snakedance storyline. I wasn’t sure what to make of either serial, as the quality of both waivers. Over time, though, I’ve come to really appreciate them as stories. I have a love for characters that exist as a sort of gestalt. There’s something very unsettling about a hive mind. As The Doctor has three companions this time around. There’s lots of room for one of them to go off and become possessed by an evil snake god for a while. Either Graham or Ryan becoming hosts for the Mara could be an interesting way to explore their relationship. While the DVD release saw an updated version of the Mara’s snake form, I’m sure the modern show can do one better. They’ve already done giant spiders, now let's see them do a giant snake!

7. The Rani

First Appearance: "The Mark of the Rani" (1985)

While I am aware many people dislike the Rani, and the idea of Chris Chibnall choosing a character created by Pip and Jan Baker is unlikely, I still don’t care. Any character can be made good in the hands of a competent writer. All it takes is one good idea. Personally, I’ve never really gotten the guff she’s been given. As a woman capable of cruel scientific experiments, the Rani is a ruthless Time Lady with more guile than the Master. People want to see Thirteen with Missy because they’re both women now, but we’ve had an evil Time Lady for years, and I’d be interested to see what regeneration might bring for her… or him?

8. Rutans

First Appearance: "The Horror of Fang Rock" (1977)

First Mentioned: “The Time Warrior” (1973)

The Rutans are long enemies of the Sontaran race. I would love to see them amp up the danger by getting stuck in the middle of a skirmish between the two races. I would like to see the Sontarans presented as formidable once again. The Doctor Who video game "The Gunpowder Plot," did update their look, to a decent degree. Either way, modern Who could make a Rutan look much more imposing with CGI, or even practical effects. I’d imagine something like a green man o’ war. Jodie’s Doctor’s tendency to mediate during conflict could land her trying to broker peace between the two races. Could she be successful or would she have to count her losses?

9. Drashigs

First Appearance: "Carnival of Monsters" (1973)

Here we have yet another Robert Holmes creation! (The other two being the Autons and the Rutans) While mostly just mindless monsters that can eat through anything, I’ve always loved these horrific beasts. With heads the size of a Volkswagen bug, and an appetite for anything in their way, these guys could really add in a danger element. I doubt they could really carry an episode by themselves, but they’d make a great threat! They may be alien snake monsters, but you may have a creeping familiarity when looking at them. This is because the puppets used were constructed around the skulls of real dogs! While I’m sure these pups died of natural causes, the information has always given them an air of creepiness and realism. As Third Doctor era baddies go, these toothy terrors were some of the more believable creatures yet! They wouldn’t need much of an update, looks wise. Part of me would still want them to be puppets. I’d imagine Thirteen’s compassion for misunderstood creatures would send her on a danger defying attempt to save their lives!

10. The Scorchies

First Appearance: "The Scorchies" (2013)

Ok, so this one is another cheat. Technically these aren’t "classic Who" villains. They come from the audios, but I’m counting them because they’re from a Third Doctor era storyline! If you count the mention of the Rutans in "The Time Warrior," this marks the fifth baddie from the Third Doctor era. What is it about that period that is so mineable? Originally a species with bodies, they lost their corporeal form when their planet was invaded and they were transported to safety via television broadcast waves! In their new puppet bodies, they go from planet to planet hypnotising their inhabitants and burning them! Why? Because they’re salty. So why them? Well, for starters, look at these guys! Jodie’s Doctor has always reminded me as a bit of mad kids’ show presenter, with her bright colours and friendly appearance. Seeing her with puppets almost feels natural. I love the idea so much that I photoshopped it! It would also make Doctor Who history. While the Eighth Doctor mentioned his audio companions in "The Night of the Doctor," no audio characters have ever made an appearance in the show (at least to my knowledge). Appearance wise, they’d be easy to create. If they wanted to go the extra mile, they could partner with the Jim Henson Creature Shop for an added distinction. I feel like no matter what you do, these little critters could draw a crowd. People would watch just to see if Doctor Who has lost its damn mind! If done right, it could be a fun romp! Who says Doctor Who villains always have to be serious?

Well, that’s it for my list! Did you agree? Do you think poor Natalie needs to get her head checked out? Feel free to reblog with your own additions! I’d love to read what you think! Expect the review of this weekend’s Doctor Who either Sunday or Monday. I’ve not yet re-watched Marco Polo, which I might actually do today, but it’s on my list to write it next week! It’s going to be the first reconstruction I’m doing, so it should be interesting! I’m not sure if I will supplement any of it with the Target novelisation, but I am thinking not. We’ll see! It’s still early into the series!

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evakfanficsrecs · 7 years ago

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Hello, babes!

Someone nicely asked for a purely Christmas(sy) list, so I shall deliver! Don’t worry, though, a rec list with all the other fics (Part 16) is coming soon too... it’ll just have a slightly longer delay. That being said, here is a list of all Evak fanfics that I thoroughly enjoyed in the month of December and I want to share with you... I really hope you enjoy these fics just as much as I did! I wish you all a lovely Christmas and a happy reading!

P.S. Sorry about the crappy, ridiculous banner! (I’ve never claimed to be a Photoshop master, okay.)

As per usual, the list is divided into oneshots, chaptered fics and series. My personal favorites are tagged with a “★”. Completed chaptered fics are tagged with a “✓”.

ONESHOTS:

For One Night (It's Christmas) by flowerbedofsouls Summary: Even wants to know what Isak got him for Christmas.

Christmas Surprises by bashfulisak Summary: Isak and Even celebrate Christmas together by going to Even's house for dinner.

sweet hymns of joy by DarkBeauty_890 ★ Summary: Eskild breathes out a breath and his entire being seems to loosen, once he realizes that they were in no real danger. He cocks a hip and shifts the frying pan of bacon, “You call me in here, practically screaming bloody murder… because your boyfriend’s parents were lovely enough to buy your stinky ass something?” Well when he puts it like that Isak supposes it sounds a bit dramatic.

Express Yourself by thestyleofsecrecy Summary: "Can't you just tell me what you got me?" Even laughed – teasing Isak and seeing him so impatient were two of his favorite things. “I appreciate the effort, but no. You'll have to wait and see.” “Ugh, okay. Can I at least kiss you?” “Yeah, alright. That you can do.” * Isak and Even exchange gifts on Christmas day, Even is a sneaky little puppy and Isak listens to Troye Sivan.

fucking finally by theyellowcurtains Summary: It was nearing Christmas and Isak had to do something. He really wanted Even to be in his life forever now. * AKA The one where Isak proposes.

Tis’ The Season To Be Grumpy by EvensDramaticShenanigans ★ Summary: “God dammit, what the fuck!” Isak shouted, his irritation bubbling over completely. “Can’t you watch where you’re fucking going?” He snapped, spinning around to face his new aggressor. “Mr. Elf said a bad word!” Anja cried out, her tone accusatory and berating. Even quickly pressed his hands against Anja’s ears, even though it was a little late for than now. “Jeez,” Even started, giving Isak a pointed look. “Are you supposed to be using that kind of language around children?” He asked, though he didn’t sound mad— more amused than anything, really. Isak scrunched up his face at that. “What would Santa have to say about this?”

but cause he really knows me by ourlovelybones Summary: Even just wants to plan a perfect surprise for Isak, one where it doesn't go quite as planned and one where he thinks he might have gotten it just right.

Just Kids When We Fell In Love by wyoheartsmusic ★ Summary: Isak and Even go to university 3000 km away from each other. Luckily, it's Christmas break and they had the brilliant idea to go on a cabin trip together. Romance ensues.

The best Christmas you've ever had by hannakin Summary: “I don’t hate Christmas,” Isak sighed. “I just don’t like it.” Isak doesn't really like Christmas but Even does and he wants Isak to do too. “I’m going to make this Christmas the best Christmas you have ever had.” he whispered.

Make the Yuletide Gay by Sabeley ★ Summary: Isak has been pining after Even for months. Jonas and Eva decide that a romantic getaway at the cabin is exactly what the two boys need to confess their feelings to each other. Or the one with the Evak/Joneva double date that we all deserve.

helpful magic by everythingislove (narrylife) & puddingandpie Summary: Five times Even uses his magic because of Isak, and the one time he actually tells him about it. * Or: the one where Even is a Santa’s Helper with special Christmas magic abilities, and Isak is a normal human who he's quickly falling for.

Rock Hard Paper Scissors by skamsnake Summary: “Well… we could play Rock-Paper-Scissors for it?” Even says, breaking the kiss. Isak sends him a look of disbelief but soon shrugs in agreement, hoping Even will let him win this time too. He always does. Which is good, because Isak’s not sure his legs work right now.

Under the Mistletoe by evak1isak Summary: Isak has a crush on Eva's best friend, Even, but he's too stubborn to recognize it. With Christmas coming, Eva has a plan to set the two boys up.

Hope by bri_ness Summary: Isak and Even celebrate hope.

Where the Lovelight Gleams by Sabeley ★ Summary: "Are we having phone sex?" Isak sputtered in disbelief and it was so endearing that Even couldn't help but smile."Is that not why you called?" he taunted. "No," Isak snapped. "I called for real sex." "Well, I'm working on getting home, but it's going to be a minute, so... What are you wearing?" "Does it sound like I'm wearing anything? God, you're really bad at this." * Or the one where Even and Isak are stuck at different Christmas parties, but they're determined to have sex anyway.

18 Secret Santa Horror Stories That'll Turn Anyone Into A Grinch by GayaIsANerd Summary: Some secret Santa, some unfortunate google results, a whole lot of complaining and a heart full of gratitude.

It's Not This Life, It's These (Day)dreams by Fxckxxp ★ Summary: Isak is 110% done with Vilde, Sana is on his hit list, and he can’t make Christmas cookies to save his life. Oh, and there’s Even—whose laugh is what Isak notices, whose charm is what makes him fall, and whose kisses are what make him stay. * Or, what might have happened if Kosegruppa had gone a little differently.

(Baby) It's Cold Outside by himmelsky Summary: December is approaching, but Isak isn’t feeling the Christmas spirit. Barista guy, aka Even, wants it differently.

Late December With My Heart In My Chest by LavenderWater ★ Summary: In order to stop his mother's fussing since he left for college, Even tells her he's dating his roomate, Isak. They pretend to be a couple over the holiday weekend to convince his family.

it's going to rain on friday, the twenty-second of december by vesperthine Summary: Isak has tried to tell him that there’s nothing to discuss ( – that mom isn’t well, that dad is a coward, that he just wants to forget everything about family and expected happiness and just leech off of theirs – ) but every time Even has gone quiet and looked down; looked so sad that the conversation has just died. Which he knows is a fatal blow ( – a communicative meltdown – ) that leads to everything that he wants to avoid; screaming and crying that reminds all too much of the things he just wants to forget.

It's a Wonderful Life by kapplebougher Summary: "Think of it as a film, Even," she said, stepping closer. "What I'm about to show you, is one made just for you. Except this time, you are not the director." "You say that like I ever was," he said, more bitterness creeping into his tone than he’d expected. "Oh, you are,” she assured him. “Much more than you would think. But you won't be in this one." "Why not?" "Because in this one, you don't exist."

The Disaster Christmas by Jules1398 Summary: It's now Isak's turn to meet Even's extended family over the week of Christmas.

dance with me by agarina Summary: There's always some room for anxiety. And cheesy Christmas music. And dancing. And kisses.

Maybe what matters is being together by evakuality Summary: It's Isak's first ever anniversary and he can't imagine anything worse than being forced to spend it with his co-workers. Of course, when your anniversary happens to be around Christmas time, sometimes dates collide.

Slowly Starts Sinking In by bri_ness Summary: After a Christmas party, Isak and Eva consider their feelings for their friends.

i can't pretend (guess that's love) by wyoheartsmusic ★ Summary: Even is tired of watching his friends kiss. So is Isak. The plan? Add more kissing to the mix to get them to stop kissing. Foolproof. Right?

twelve by kittpurrson ★ Summary: Just because it's Christmas, and at Christmas you tell the truth. Isak is afraid of messing up and Even is afraid of overstaying his welcome. Magnus doesn't know what Vilde wants, and Vilde doesn't know how to want. Eva and Jonas are stuck in the ghost of Christmas past, and nobody knows what the hell they're doing. But it's Christmas, so they muddle through it together.

You Forgot Cranberries Too? by ultimatelawrence Summary: "Isak was a romantic deep down in his heart. A fact he never let anyone know. But a fact that was there and seemed to be exacerbated by the festive season." * 4 Christmas Eve's in which Isak sees Even. 4 Christmas Eve's to get it right.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas by colazitron Summary: Even knows Isak's a bit nervous about visiting his mother for Christmas, so he tries to lighten the mood with a joke.

Ready to Jingle Your Bells by EvensDramaticShenanigans Summary: It was truly a testament to how drunk Isak was when rather than vehemently denying the request or furiously shaking his head and pushing everyone away, he set his glass down and determinately rose to his feet. And there was also the fact that Isak— sober or drunk— was never one to turn away from any sort of challenge, and Mikael’s wording certainly posed this as one. (Of course, there was also the fact that Even did sing him a song, and what kind of a boyfriend would he be if he didn’t serenade Even right back?)

Mistletoe and Type O Negative by riyku Summary: Isak Valtersen: vampire hunter. Kinda has a nice ring to it.

Bundle Up Tight! Flurries Tonight by EvensDramaticShenanigans Summary: Isak obliged and snatched up the first coat of his that his eyes landed on. It was more of a windbreaker than it was a real jacket, and Even quickly pointed that out. “If you wear that you're going to freeze, Is.” “It’s not that cold out, Even. Anyways we’re just walking to the tram stop, we’re not going to be outside very long.”

CHAPTERED:

My Very Personal Ski Trainer by Crazyheart ✓ Summary: This is before Christmas 2016. Even never transferred to Nissen, so he’s doing his last year at Bakka. He has just broken up with Sonja and is recovering from a manic and depressive episode. Sana has invited Even and her other friends to a Holiday cabin trip, and Even needs to get in shape so that he can beat his buddies in Sana’s planned ski race. He tries out a personal ski trainer app and meets the hot ski trainer Isak Valtersen. Even struggles to focus only on the training. On the cabin trip, when Even arrives early, a surprise guest turns up and a snowstorm threatens to snow them both in. Who knows what happens next? * A different meeting AU and sort of a 4 + 1 (Four times Isak and Even don’t talk for real, and one time they do).

It's beginning to look at lot like Christmas by Teatrolley ★ ✓ Summary: So, here’s the thing:Isak moves out of his parent’s house when he’s sixteen and it’s fine, really, most of the time it’s fine. It’s just Decembers. Goddamn Decembers. They’re not exactly his favourite time of the year. This time, though: this time he think there’s someone who has it worse than he does. On the first of December that year, Even moves in.

I Just Want You For My Own by Twinklylightseverywhere ✓ Summary: Even loves the holidays, really. He loves spending time with his friends and family, drinking hot chocolate by the fire, exchanging gifts, the like. He loves leaving his apartment to see snow falling from the sky, children’s eyes lit up in excitement, and the general busy bustle of downtown Oslo in December. You know what he doesn’t love about Christmas time? Working in a fucking Post Office.

(I’ll give it to) Someone Special by nofeartina ✓ Summary: Isak Valtersen is certain of a few things: 1. He doesn’t really like Christmas. 2. He loves Even – as a friend. 3. He doesn’t want things to change between them. So that’s why he offers to play Even’s boyfriend on a visit to Even’s homophobic family. And then he realizes a few other things. 4. He’s surprised by how perfect a fake boyfriend Even is. 5. Okay. Maybe, Isak is starting to love Even as more than a friend. * Or the one where Isak is oblivious to Even’s true feelings about him, but fortunately it only takes the Christmas holidays to change that.

A Thrill of Hope by mlbee ✓ Summary: “Yes,” Even breathed before pulling Isak in for another kiss. He pulled away and murmured, “This is so weird. I’m kissing a total stranger.” “Really?” Isak asked. “I do it all the time.” * The Holiday AU.

A Grump for Christmas by Schedazzle Summary: Apparently he wasn't as great at hiding his emotions, because as he hastily wiped the table someone behind him said, “Why do you always frown when that one comes on?” Isak looked over his shoulder to where that deep voice had come from. Even. There was a fluttering in his stomach every time his coworker unexpectedly starting talking to him. He rolled his eyes. “It means the CD starts back up again.” Even who had been smiling at him grinned at that and chuckled. “You’re a Grinch.” * OR: The Fake Dating holiday fic where they both get to save each other a little bit.

SERIES:

santa, baby by empty_venom Summary: Isak's never been good at gifts. This year though, he has something special for Even.

–A

#even x isak #isak x even #evak #evak fanfiction #evak fanfic #skam #skam fanfiction #skam fanfic #evak fanfiction recs #evak christmas #christmas #masterposts

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tapwrites · 7 years ago

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XP-Pen Artist 10S v2

Yeah... that’s a mouthful ain’t it?

I recently got myself a graphics tablet... with a SCREEN!! I’ve been wanting one of those since I knew they existed, but for the longest time only the insanely-priced Cintiqs were available.

In recent years, it turns out, other manufacturers have branched into screened graphics tablets also--slowly bringing down the price to an attainable level.

I got my Artist 10S for £199.99 from Amazon. Let me tell you how it went.

From the Top

I have done art before. I was half-decent at it when I was around 10 or so. But it’s been a while. I got myself a decent “dotted” sketchbook and started sketching things out in it to run my RPG sessions. That’s really what gave me the bug to get into drawing again. And to actually buy a tablet to do so!

I downloaded Krita, a free Photoshop-like application for artists. It’s super-powerful, once you figure out how it works. But there are plenty of tutorials online about that if you’re interested in checking it out.

...But anyway, Krita has some nice smoothing algorithms you can turn on for drawing with a pen tablet. The pen doesn’t have tilt and rotation detection, but pressure sensitivity works well with Krita and gives me plenty of expressiveness to get on with. And I was pretty instantly busting out some sweet curves!

It was a pretty amazing experience, really--getting to draw freehand while also having the capability of undo, erase, etc. I’m not saying it brought a tear to my eye, but it was a nice moment. 😂

Config

The tablet has 6 “Express Keys” along the side, which are configurable to key combinations. When you hold them down, that key is held down (this’ll become important later). I currently have them set to things like canvas pan/zoom/rotate, and a couple of other “hold to use” shortcuts.

The pen is somewhat triangular along the barrel, meaning it won’t roll around on your desk. But it’s smoothed out enough to feel just fine in your hand. It has two barrel buttons, though these are only configurable to mouse various clicks and a preset “brush/eraser” toggle (which didn’t work with Krita out of the box). There is no “eraser” button at the other end (like a pencil with an eraser at the other end)... but I’d find that too fiddly and time consuming to flip it around anyway.

The lack of options for the pen is a little disappointing. Things like this are insanely easy to implement in code--as demonstrated by the express key options. So there’s not really any excuse for it other than the company being small, and this product originally belonging to a different company XP-Pen... bought out or something? I dunno. We’ll get onto them in due course.

Oh, a little side note... the configuration app is only readily accessible from a system tray icon (in Windows). This is fine when you first install the drivers. (And then install the updated drivers so the tablet actually works.) But it has a habit of just... disappearing. After Hibernation or Sleep, that icon tends to wander off somewhere.

And all XP-Pen have to say on that score is to give instructions on how to make it appear again--which only works half the time and may require a restart anyway. I’ve since figured out where the config application itself is kept, and made a shortcut to it in my start menu. In case anyone else is having the same troubles as me, here’s the file path: “C:\Windows\SysWOW64\tabcfg.exe”

Screen

This tablet has a screen! Still getting over that XD

The screen is only 10.1″ corner to corner, which is a little smaller than the average screen tablet such as the Cintiqs. But it’s plenty big enough when it’s sitting right in front of your for actual drawing.

Another reason I pulled the trigger on buying one of these is to get a second screen. I often watch various Youtube videos in the background while I’m playing games and whatnot. I used to prop my Chromebook up next to my regular monitor. This worked fine, but pausing everything when someone came in to speak to me (just a politeness thing I like to employ; nothing sneaky going on)... was a bit of a hassle. And balancing the audio between devices had its own fiddliness (besides the piddly Chromebook speakers not being able to get loud enough for quieter videos).

But now, with two monitors hooked up to the same computer, everything’s a lot easier. I can move windows between screens easily enough. And pausing a video is as simple as moving the mouse over to the other screen and clicking.

Colour Calibration

However! I am having some trouble with the colours. I was drawing away just fine, a simple cartoon character to try out the shading tools and so on and get used to Krita. Then for whatever reason, I saw the picture on my main monitor. The skin tone was way off--too red for what I was actually going for. It seems the tablet screen likes to give everything a yellow tint--making picking colours pretty tricky.

I’ve tried keeping a preview window open on my main monitor so I can see the “true” colours, but this is really not conducive to a productive work space. Or something ^^

I spend a few days trying to configure the colour management side of things from Windows and NVIDIA (the tablet has back light brightness buttons and that’s it)... but it’s just darned fiddly! I can never quite be sure if it looks right or not--or if both screens at least look similar. All I want is a “click on a colour on the screen, and remove some yellowness from it.” You wouldn’t have thought it would be that hard to do, would you?

But instead I had to use gamma, brightness, and contrast sliders. I think I get brightness and contrast... and I thought I knew what gamma was. But it just never turns out quite how I expect. All I want is a step-by-step tutorial on “First, get your gamma correct across all colours. Here’s how you do that...” And so on and so forth.

There are plenty of test-card images out there, which are a good start. But nothing giving you a list of instructions.

See, if you fix the brightness and contrast, it doesn’t necessarily mean things look right. So then you mess with the gamma and nothing makes sense any more. It seems as though you need to adjust all 3 at the same time to be sure you’re actually making any progress.

I even had a Windows bug where my colours wouldn’t stick. I had to create a new user account (with all the headaches of setting things up all over again) just to fix that issue and make any progress whatsoever!

/sigh/

And this doesn’t even talk about the contrast issues it already has. No matter what I do, it’s too bright in some areas and too dark in others. And with my colours fixed the way they are now, they look closer to my main monitor but not perfect. And they make some things just look a tad awful, across the board.

I’m managing, though. Using it for art--at least black and white art--is great, and as long as I focus on the tablet itself, the colours work just fine.

I did contact XP-Pen, to see if they had a solution. Most companies allow you to download an .icc file--a colour profile so the computer can correct a monitor’s output perfectly--but they just straight-up don’t. After 3 workdays of waiting, they told me to use Windows’ built-in calibration tools--which of course I’d been bashing my head against for the past week.

In case anyone else is having similar colour problems, I’ll give you the settings I used to half-fix it. Note that this is far from perfect, but it certainly seems a lot better than it was before, to my eye.

As I have an NVIDIA graphics card, I used their control panel to change the settings to the following values:

Red: 85% Brightness, 25% Contrast, 0.69 Gamma.

Green: 62% Brightness, 25% Contrast, 0.89 Gamma.

Blue: 90% Brightness, 25% Contrast, 0.72 Gamma.

I think the “All channels” part is just an average of the 3 colours. But in case it’s not...

All channels: 77% Brightness, 25% Contrast, 0.76 Gamma.

XP-Pen

That brings me onto the company itself. From what I understand, they’re a small company out of China? Or maybe the US? Or both? It’s really hard to tell from their website.

But anyway... I can only assume they’re too small a company to really provide decent support for their products. The response time is way too high, considering the price tags attached to their products. And the “shrug” attitude instead of providing solutions didn’t go down well with me.

Now, there are devices out there that calibrate a screen for you. The cheapest I could find is £90, and comes with a single-computer license. And that’s fair enough; most people don’t need them, and the ones that really need them are photography professionals who have to be willing to shell out some cash or produce poor work. But I’d prefer not to have to get one just to use it once and never look at it again.

The thing is, with this calibration thing, XP-Pen saying something very telling to the customer. They aren’t willing to get a calibration tool themselves, use it on a tablet, and make the resulting .icc file available for all of their customers to use--at least as a good starting point. Instead, they insist that each individual customer buys one themselves if they want any hope of getting relatively accurate colours from their purchase.

I may contact them again, to point this out to them. I mean, it may be that my unit is simply faulty and should be replaced... but then it should be replaced.

/sigh again/

Overall

I am happy with using the tablet. The tech is amazing, for the price. But such a lack of support is really dragging down the experience.

I highly recommend getting a screen tablet. If not this one, then perhaps another. Maybe your Artist 10S won’t have this issue at all and it’ll be perfect right off the bat.

It’s so awesome to be able to draw on your screen, and has really helped me get back into art-ing. I can already see improvement in my skill over the past week, through drawing every day after such a long time not drawing at all!

#Graphics Tablet #Screen #Colour Calibration #Xp-Pen

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yoolee · 7 years ago

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SLBP KAI REINCARNATIONS (with a Yukimura x MC pairing)

Shingen & Kansuke

Shingen remembers first. He’s in the military, and there’s a moment, when he’s leading his men (and women!) that he just knows. It’s as natural and comfortable as putting on a favorite piece of clothing – the transition between not remembering and carrying all of the memories is effortless.

(Not without some pain over things left undone and promises unkept, but, effortless)

First thing he does is start seeking out the others. Kai was always, ever Kai because of the people who were a part of it, and Shingen was who he was because of the people who surrounded him, he has as much a duty to them in this life as the last.

Kansuke is next! Medical researcher, life has always felt a bit…lacking, like he moves through a fog.

Fog finally, finally lifts when Shingen walks into his lab, grinning.

Mr Emotionless DEFINITELY CRIES bet me on this

Anyway, Shingen finishes his service and starts a business, because there are new ways to lead, and this offers him a better opportunity to get out and about and find everyone.

Yukimura

Like most of the fandom I am 100% onboard with professional athlete!Yukimura

Also possibly went into military after high school, because—not that he isn’t smart, he just has too much energy to sit in lectures and would rather do.

But then, A SPORT, of some kind (I saw judo as a recommendation, yes, good) and like, probably an Olympian because bringing HONOR and GLORY to his country is super Yukimura

Anyway Shingen sponsors him

And, Yukimura doesn’t remember just yet.

Shingen is quietly okay with that – Yukimura wouldn’t be Yukimura if he weren’t a little bit slow ^^;;

But really a big part of it is that he’s very much an in-the-moment person and he always has been, so while other characters grapple with a kind of ‘something is missing’ he just charges on ahead instead of lingering.

Saizo & Sasuke & MC

Saizo hasn’t always remembered, but has always known, to some extent.

Knowing makes him pay attention to things, so he’s paying attention when a screaming bundle is tossed into his arms and that’s how he knows the kid’s name is Sasuke.

Sasuke grows up remembering. Having a sort of double-set of memories is completely normal for him because it’s what he’s always known. He doesn’t talk about it much because he learns pretty early that it makes him different from other kids, who don’t have the same understanding of war and battle and loss that he does.

(But that means they also don’t have the same understanding of brotherhood, and heart, and strength)

Saizo remembers when he finds MC

But like, Saizo is literally the biggest MCxYukimura shipper out there and it’s just not right to reveal himself before Yukimura can

So he just keeps an eye out, to make sure she’s okay and well for when Yukimura shows up.

This includes sabotaging literally every single person who expresses a vague interest in her, because no, she is supposed to be with Yukimura thank you very much.

(He is not worried about Yukimura ending up with someone else – he is pretty confident that regardless of how many lifetimes he has lived since their shared one that in none of them did Yukimura learn to talk to a woman well enough to land a girlfriend - or boyfriend, or anything requiring romance in general)

Anyway, yes, sabotaging love interests becomes like a part time hobby (what is his real job the world will never know, all anyone knows is he always seems to have the cash he needs and a lot of free time)

(Mysteriously, every year during Sasuke’s Career Day at school there is some kind of incident before it’s Saizo’s turn – fire alarms, freak storms, mass food poisoning, bathrooms flooding, a swarming flock of crows in the gym…Sasuke stops asking him to come)

ANYWAY yes, sabotage – which he remembers, with relish, but with a few new modern skills to add to the mix. Phone calls with unfortunate test results, emails that look like they come from people who didn’t send them, photoshop, social engineering to get Instagram passwords, just generally being sneaky enough to get close and steal wallets during date night dinners, etc. etc.

Sasuke, who remembers too, and is incensed that MC would be on a date with someone who isn’t Lord Yukimura, definitely gets in on this too; at least once he plays the part of neglected love child with a particularly stubborn suitor.

Reunion

Eventually, REUNION. YAY.

All of Yukimura’s teammates are like o.o;;

Saizo’s sabotage habits die hard – if one of them goes to approach MC, they’re going to trip. You know. Accidentally.

MC definitely figures out what he’s been doing but can never ACTUALLY figure out how or the full extent

Yukimura definitely sobs when he sees Shingen next. He’s so sorry he didn’t remember sooner.

Shingen is like, nah, it’s all good, just because my face isn’t pretty enough to jog your noggin

“NO MILORD YOUR FACE IS BEAUTIFUL”

(The following is @han-pan’s fault <3)

(this of course happens full volume in the middle of filming a sports drink commercial that Takeda Corp is sponsoring)

(Advertisers are like “...well we were gonna go the guy-flirts-with-a-pretty-girl-route for this slot, but he isn’t very good at it and maybe this is why HEY SHINGEN you wanna be in this commercial too”)

(And he’s down for whatever so sure, hey Yukimura, remember how I used to try and teach you things like this--*click click* camera shutters)

(And that’s how the sports drink craze swept the nation because have you seen those billboards omggg)

(MC is just like, “wow you both look so muscle-y”)

(Saizo is like “...did you at least get free samples?”)

Future State

You know that like, no matter where Yukimura/MC live and no matter what the premium on space is, there is always, always a bedroom for Saizo (and by extension, Sasuke)

(Yes he and Sasuke have their own place too)

(But Saizo is a cat, okay. He comes, basks in their sunny little patch for awhile, and then is like ‘yeah okay you two are too saccharine, I’m out’ and he’s gone for a week or three.)

“Hey mom hey dad, why does uncle Saizo he get that room?” “It has the best roof access.” “…we live on the 14th floor of 23…?”

Eventually the kids don’t question it either

Unless it’s to summon him, because you know he just happens to show up any time they ask questions that Yukimura and MC would struggle to answer

Sasuke babysits all the time

Okay but also please imagine, years down the road, Yukimura being concerned that Saizo hasn’t given late-teenage Sasuke Enough Information about Things in Life, and he’s stuttering and blushing and stumbling trying to express this (and Saizo is like, little lord, you have four kids, shouldn’t you maybe not be embarrassed by this still) and meanwhile Sasuke pokes his head in like ‘yeah no don’t worry I read all of Sensei’s guides, I know what I’m doing’ and everyone is HORRIFIED (even Saizo. A little. But also a little proud, probably).

AND FOR @quincette

Echigo

Fashion mogul Kenshin is not a fan of Corporate Meetings they are full of fuddy-duddies and they are dreadfully dull

So he is staring out the window (OF COURSE)

And look they are putting up a new billboard

AND ~GASP~ WHAT IS THIS

IT IS HIS FLUFFY TIGER (and Yukimura, BUT)

And Ooooh he wants to pose in a pretty billboard photoshoot tooooo

Kanetsugu is like wait--what? No, no where are you going get back here WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A MEETING

But of course everyone dutifully follows him out and Kanetsugu is out of luck

Kageie is like 100% willing to pose in this because why not

Yoshichi is SO EXCITED like YEAH let’s DO this photoshoot

Kagetsugu is trying to Not Draw Attention because he knows exactly how pretty he is, thanks, and doesn’t really like playing dress up, which invariably happens when you work for a clothing company and have his pretty face and features, thanks.

(MC is there catering, makes small talk with Kagetsugu and he gets all embarrassed and blushy when she just assumes he’s one of the models)

Hotaru is just wandering around the photoshoot, playing with things he finds, eventually ends up in the rafters playing with the umbrella lighting

He probably accidentally(?) releases the rain curtain in the middle of the shoot because he’s just playing with stuff

So now you have a lovely, rain-soaked Kagieie and Kenshin billboard advertisement for his clothes

(Kanetsugu wonders why it’s so effective - what about wet clothes is really so appealing? Has no one ever had wet socks around here?)

But, of course, it drives sales up like woah.

ANYWAY so begins the Great Billboard Wars of 2017

Also including behind the scenes video adverts, a few magazine spreads, etc & so forth

(Which ultimately culminates in a Shingen+Kenshin photoshoot that sends both of their company stock shares through the roof)

(Also causes a sharp and immediate uptick in hospitalizations due to fainting and blood loss across the country)

(Kanetsugu is just like *sigh* we are a clothing company, this was a clothing ad did you two forget the clothes?)

(It’s probably an underwear ad. Kenshin “Always figured you of more of a boxers man,” Shingen: “Well actually I usually just go com--” Kansuke: “Harunobu, no.”

I live for fluffy reincarnation AUs. Happy families. Happy families everywhere.

More of Lee’s rambles (or click the link in my profile description)

#slbp #slbp modern au #slbp modern headcanon #slbp headcanons #slbp kai #rambles

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stargleeksil-blog · 7 years ago

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Criminal Minds s02e21 Open Season review - or more aptly named, that episode that makes me want to barf all over myself and yet has sexy shots of my lovelies, so I guess it’s okay? Oh god, what is this show doing to me?

Episode 21 – Open Season

Hey guys! So here we go, third episode till the end of the second season! Oh my gosh, the time flies by! So the name suggests something I seriously hope isn’t going to be true. A human hunt? I’m honestly terrified of starting this. But, positive energy, I hope for some Derek and Penelope goodness. Let’s hope for the best.

Let’s see what happens.

Boise, Idaho. Okay. Middle of nowhere.

What the fuck is that guy doing? What is he running from?

Oh deer! Yay! Like Bambi!

Oh shit, are those hunters? Are they going to fucking kill Bambi?

Oh wait. They’re going to kill that dude. Fuck.

Shit! His nose is fucking broken. Oh god.

Please tell me they’re killing the deer. And not the person.

FUCK! That is just all kinds of wrong. Fuck you, dicks! What the fuck is fucking wrong with you? Oh my goodness foracious gracious.

Oh! They’re in the bar! Oh my god, clubbing Jayje and Penelope! Someone make a fic of this!

Wait. Five minutes in the bar and a guy is hitting on Emily? Hot damn girl, you got it on!

“This is Brad, a real FBI agent.” Oh their interested faces, I’m so dead from laughter here.

“That’s exciting! What’s it like in Quan-tee-co?” I love you, Penelope, you just casually drop the name wrong and he buys it which totally gives him away. Oh honey.

“What department are you in?” oh shoot, now I’m gay.

“That’s classified.” Yeah right, Brad.

“Do you have to carry your gun and badge everywhere you go? … Can we see it?” Oh Emily, you sneaky little thing.

“Please?” oh honey, you can have anything in the whole damn world. It’s yours.

“Tell me, Brad, does it look anything like this?” “Or this?” “Or maybe, this?” HA! You’re done, Brad! Go home!

You’re evil, girls. I love you.

“Lady, you’re officially on my top 8 ‘I am so blogging about this later’. Clink me.”

Oh god. This was perfect until Jayje had to rain on the parade.

“Then what happened in that week?” “I don’t wanna know.” I’m with you, Pen.

It’s so obvious Penelope just wants to get out of there and not look at those photos, but seriously, if it weren’t for those photos in his hands, this would be a perfect marriage portrait of Derek and Penelope. Am I right? Well, minus the confused looks on their faces, and I’d totally photoshop them to make out.

So he ran into a tree and broke his nose because he was busy looking behind him for his hunter. Fuck. That poor dude.

“One man’s wilderness is another man’s theme park.” Author unknown. Yikes.

So Emily’s grandpa retired to the French Alps, and died there, after being there for ten years? Youch.

“Guess who’s getting a gold star?” “Oh, that’d be you, baby girl, if you got some good news for us.” Wait. Hold the phone? Did I miss something??? (rummaging through all my previous reviews). Since when is Derek calling Penelope baby girl? What the fuck changed? Oh my god, I am shipping them so hard and I am hoping to all wizard and heathen gods out there that they are having a secret affair that they don’t want discovered by the No-Fraternization Code thingy happening in the FBI. Please.

She is such a geek I love her.

Sweet mother of god, who said it was okay to dress Shemar in a black leather jacket? I’m suing for inappropriate material and potential cause for heart attack.

Oh god, they have to tell the dad that his son was killed. Fuck.

I love the flashbacks of Jayje instructing the sheriff on how to speak to the dad.

Oh god, that man is such a good actor! Holy shit! He’s so good at showing those emotions over the death of his son. Shit. That is literally tugging on my heart strings.

“Do you see or hear anything right now?” “No.” “There’s a black bear about 25 yards to your right.” Holy shit. She wasn’t kidding! That’s a fucking black bear right there!

Yup. They’re finally on to how the dude was killed. Two arrows to the bod. Fuck.

Oh my god. That kid sizing up Gideon and trying to figure out what he likes to hunt is creeping me out. But then again, that’s a different culture.

“Actually I prefer picking up my meat at a grocery store.” Oh Gideon, you’re my spirit animal.

Bam. The kid just gave him the right weapon used on the victims. Fuck. Arrows are elegant, but cruel as fuck.

Car fails. Typical up a mountain in a no-man land. Wait. She calls her car Ruby? Can’t beat Esther, lol.

Oh god. I have a bad feeling about those ‘helpers’. Oh boy.

I love how they explain stuff inside the office, and then you see them in the scene of the crime to explain it more explicitly.

Holy shit! Someone should definitely put me in chains if they want me to not jump this guy’s bones soon.

“Hunting is their sport. Humans are their targets.” That’s just sick.

Fax this to Gideon? Oh god, that is so old. Lol.

Oh god. They tie their victims, then release them to let them run, feel the thrill and chase them down and hunt them? Fuck, that is so messed up. Oh god.

Oh fuck. Those two are so fucked up. It’s crazy.

Oh fuck! She stumbled upon some campers, trying to get help, and they kill one of them? Oh shit!

And the crazy part is, they only kill for fun, they’re not cannibals or anything. Fuckers.

Oh my fucking goodness gracious.

“And before you ask, of course I’ve already sent the addresses to your handheld.” You perfect goddess.

“Garcia, you’re the man.” “Oh no, you’re the man.” Yup, and Garcia’s The Woman. And don’t forget it, Hotch.

Joe Mulfrod was they’re uncle. Fuck. And he’s a fucker who taught them how to hunt. Shit.

“I don’t have to ask where it’s located, do I?” “No, you don’t. But since you did, gorgeous grey matter, I’ll have you know, I’m pulling it up right now.” Someone give this woman an award for awesomeness, please.

Also, this is sick. They have to wait them out till the morning to scare them and catch and kill them when they’re not expecting it? Sick assholes.

At least those two couples checked in with rangers to be on the safe side and they were reported missing. Now they can find them. And hopefully track down the three remaining. Including Bobbi.

Damn. That’s Ruby.

They keep the car? Fuckers.

I love camping Derek. Yummy.

Something dripping on Emily’s head? Oh dear lord almighty. Poor thing. They actually hung up the poor bastards up in the trees? Oh god, those are two sickos.

Shit.

Oh shit! They shot the fucker right in the heart! Oh my god!

What did Bobbi take from Luke’s belt? What is that? A whistle?

Oh she’s good.

So they also packed their cars? Damn. Those are a lot of victims. Shit.

Those are a lot of driver’s licenses. Shit. The first one was killed in 1980? The uncle began it and the boys continued the tradition? Oh my fuck.

Paul and John Mulford. Fuck you asshats.

They didn’t go to school? Fuck.

So he got screwed up in the army, was released, and he raised those two orphaned boys and taught them to become hunters of humans? Oh my god.

Oh that Bobbi is GOOD. She’s hiding up in a tree? Damn. She’s awesome.

Why is she trying to move? They’ll notice her. Shit! Oh my god. FUCK.

Yes! Kill him, Bobbi! Kill that asshat, Johnny!

Smoke? From what? Oh that’s awesome. They can find them. Good.

Yeah, Johnny isn’t gonna make it.

Why are you taunting that sick asshole? Fuck.

Oh god, they found Johnny, please identify him and let him die and catch Paul. Please.

Oh they think he’s a victim? Shit.

Find the asshole. Please.

Ooh Bobbi is awesome. I love her so much.

Yes!

Take that, assfuck!

What? He’s like a zombie! She just stabbed him in the back and he just keeps going on. Fuck!

YES! Morgan got him.

James Anthony Froud: “Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom torture and death of his fellow creatures is amusing in itself.” Fuck. That is true, for those who think it’s okay to harm other people. Fuck.

Can we just appreciate the fact that Hotchner is fucking sleeping on the plane? I can’t get over how cute he is! Oh my goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh damn. He can give me that look and my clothes will just melt off my body, I swear.

And that look. I mean, that’s probably how he would look after I left. All sad that I’m not there ;)

I love Derek reassuring Emily that the only reason they hunt those people is because it’s their job to hunt down those fuckers who think it’s okay to hurt others. Emily, you are different, because you don’t aim to hurt unless it’s absolutely necessary, you bring justice. That’s the difference. Okay? Don’t worry your pirty head over it.

All right, so this episode was just sickness spread over 40 minutes and I just had to stop in the middle to get a breather from this madness. Whew. Yeesh all mighty. But of course, I focused on the amazing parts of sexy Derek, hot as fuck Penelope, and the funny scene in the bar, where they totally powned that faker. Also, HOTCHNER ASLEEP ON THE PLANE! I won’t ever be able to get that cute image out of my head. And I don’t even want to!

God, I hope the next two episodes are actually more bearable because these last two were sick as fuck.

Alrighty, I’ll see you lovelies for the next episode, until then MWAH I love you all for sticking with me <3

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