#also i cringe every time i have to write the sentence
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quetzalpapalotl · 6 months ago
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In regard to IDW1!Sentinel Prime’s repulsion towards romance, I legit thought his hatred of such concepts was meant to make him homophobic or along the lines of “ugh gay people”. Was there an instance of him also hating heterosexual romance or at least all kinds as well? The more I learn about Sentinel through this blog, the more I realize I’ve been missing out on a lot of things (and the more I am going to simp for him) 💦
Well, he doesn't go out of his way to say he thinks het relationships are gross too. It's normal that his comments would reminds us of homophobia as that's a sort of equivalent in our society, that's probably what's evoking, and I do call him homophobic as a joke but homophobia is ultimately a human concept. Sentinel is not homophobic because Cybertron as a society forgot the concept of gender, everyone is male by default, the only Cybertronian women are people like Arcee who are old enough to remember when women were a thing or the lugnodes who developed a concept of gender after traveling the galaxy. Sentinel says "only the terminally sentimental had sparkmates" he's not talking about homosexual relationships, he's talking about romance itself, which is mostly homosexual due to the society they live in.
And okay, yeah, Sentinel turns out to be quite old, he would have known about women, but still, it would be really weird that his problem with romance turned out to be that it isn't straight! That makes no sense! Not only he doesn't make any comments to indicate that's the issue, but Transformers don't have any of the material conditions that led to the development of homophobia in our societies. They're not human. They wouldn't have a concept of "straight" or "gay", if they were to put social constrains on attraction or were to taxonomize it, it would be based on something that has actual bearing in their society like class or alt mode.
Indeed, Skids flirts with Firestar even when he's still getting used to use she/her pronouns, people from the colonies, who never forgot about gender, get involved in both same and different gender relationships with no issue. And the colonies retain some of the bigotries of old Cybertron. There really isn't anything in the text to support the idea that homophobia would even be a concept for these people.
So if homophobia isn't the issue, then what the fuck is Sentinel's problem?
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(Mtmte #56-57)
These are the instances where Sentinel displays... amatophobia, I guess. But is this just one example of a societal trend or does Sentinel have some very radical ideas? I think it's a bit of both.
This just doesn't sound like the kind of idea one develops in a vacuum, especially with how the language resembles real-world homphobia, I think it is meant to indicate that there used to be some sort of bigotry against romance.
Cybertronian society is just not amatonormative the way ours are, Brainstorm mentions that having a conjunx is rare and that's no surpsise. These people live so long, it's quite the commitment to attach yourself to someone for that lifespan. Though, the fact that both Skids and Getaway casually flirt with Firestar right after meeting her makes me think that casual romantic dalliances among Cybertronians are a thing. It doesn't expect monogamy or the kind of prioritizing our society demands. But that's just my headcanon and me projecting a bit, anyway.
A conjunx ceremony only requires the two people to be married and is carried out in private, but the fact that Rewind has Chromedome listed as his conjunx endura and this grants him the ability to make medical decisions for an unconscious Rewind shows that you can legally register a conjunx status and this grants you special rights much like a human marriage. Now, this is under Optimus' rule who is far more chill and maybe things were different under Sentinel.
Speaking of, here's a panel of officer Orion Pax during Zeta's time asking Tappet if the guy that was killed by the police was his conjunx and that it's totally okay if that's the case because they're totally not bigots anymore (OP #1)
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More evidence for amatophobia being a thing when Sentinel was Prime (and given that this is Barber instead of JRo, two writers making reference to it make it a more solid piece of lore). But when exactly did conjunx endura gained legal status instead of being just a two-people arragement? It's hard to say, it could have been under Optimus, Zeta, maybe it was a thing under Sentinel but frowned upon, maybe it had always been a thing but it got outlawed under Nominus or Sentinel before getting restored under Zeta or Orion. Since the colonies do have a concept of conjunx endura, meaning it predates Nova's rule, my guess is that this amatophobia was a later development and that conjunxes had legal status before that being removed and later restored.
That being said, Sentinel does seem... radical in his beliefs. Look how he says in his time people had "peers and colleagues, associates", that sounds kinda impersonal, he doesn't use a word like friends. Surely, even if people thought getting involved in romance was weird, the average Cybertronian wouldn't have anything against the concept of friends. Sentinel kinda sounds like those super homophobic guys who are disgusted at any level of male intimacy because that's gay. I think Sentinel is particulary opposite to interpersonal relationships and an extreme example of the normal attitude.
That still doesn't answer why is he like this tho. If I had to answer what purpose does this bigotry serve, I think it has to do with how Cybertron developed this culture of "you're all cogs in the machine" for the benefit of the ruling classes. You should serve your purpose of making Cybertron great, it's an offense that you'd choose to give your devotion to a single, common Cybertronian instead of like, the planet or a Prime (Sentinel has not problem fanboying over Onyx Prime). Look at all the things Sentinel complains about, not just conjunxes doing PDA, he has a kinda fascist idea of what Cybertron should be, nice and orderly with a disregard for differences. Transformers don't have sexual reproduction or nuclear families, so romance doesn't serve The Powers That Be in any way and is just a display of individualism.
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jakesimfromstatefarm · 2 months ago
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no doubt ── s. jy
↳ summary ── struggling to balance a world tour, endless responsibilities, and...well, the sting of getting dumped by his girlfriend, jake finds peace & comfort confiding in you—one of his closest friends. what begins as lighthearted late-night phone calls while he's away on tour deepens into something more, quickly pulling you both into uncharted emotional territory. as your connection with jake intensifies, so does your inner turmoil—torn between the comfort of your easy relationship with him and the terrifying possibility of falling for someone you're not even sure you can have in the first place. but jake? jake has absolutely no doubt of what he wants—and spoiler alert? it's you.
↳ pairing ── jake x f!reader, [ft. childhoodbestfriend!jungwon, bestfriends!enha]
↳ genre ── idol!jake, friends to lovers!au || angstttt, fluff, crack
↳ ✎ᝰ. 23.7k [never beating the allegations of getting too attached to my works and having too much fun writing i fear...]
↳ contains ── angst! very angsty but only after a lot of fluff...the cheesy cringe type but then it goes downhill real quick...but happy ending i swear!, mentions of insecurities, maybe one or two curse words, fic starts with jake dating og character named jenn, the use of pet names, jungwon practically plays therapist, jake is absolutely whipped for reader but is terrible at communication and a certified idiot . also jungwon is reader's best friend so the beginning sets up the context for that lolz
↳ addie's ✉ .ᐟ ── she's DONEEE [do u hear me crying in the background]...so some backstory lore abt this fic—basically two years ago i had a dream about the ~angsty scene~ of this fic and ever since then, i've had this itch of putting it into words. and when i finally decided to do it, no doubt came out and i thought it was literal fate since the lyrics match the vibe so well...don't tell me it isn't fate guys :') anyways..this is a little different than my typical writing style even though of course i had to include summm crack..but i am still nervous abt how it came out so i really really hope you guys like it :') thank u for all the support and love always <3
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
You and Yang Jungwon were literally born to be best friends.  
Like, there was no other option.  
Your mom? Their high school's poster child for academic perfection—top of her class, president of every club imaginable, a certified teacher's pet.  
Jungwon's mom? Their high school's unofficial social chair—life of the party, karaoke queen, probably responsible for half the faculty's headaches. 
Nothing alike. 
So naturally, of course, they were inseparable. By their junior year, they'd already started planning their futures together, including one very specific and totally realistic goal that all teenage girl best friends make when they're young:  
"We should have our first kids around the same time and force them to be best friends!"  
"Oh my gosh, yes," Jungwon's mom agreed enthusiastically. "Like, we'll make them share everything! Matching outfits, playdates, joint birthday parties!"  
But what your moms didn't realize as they were giggling over the playful promise that probably didn't hold any meaning to them at the age of 17? 
The universe was taking notes.  
So fast forward a couple decades later, and there you were, baby best friends from birth, fulfilling the shared dream of your mothers—the true puppeteers in this scenario.  
All your moms had to do was execute their promise as planned, but the rest of it? The rest of it was easy.  
You and Jungwon clicked before you even knew what words were, communicating in a series of shared giggles and unintelligible baby noises. By the time you turned two, you were finishing each other's sentences in your made-up gibberish language, and by preschool, the bond was unshakable. 
You two—just like your moms—were inseparable.  
By high school, everyone knew you were a package deal—where you went, Jungwon followed, and vice versa. So, when he announced your sophomore year that he was leaving to compete on a televised idol survival show, you were, understandably, skeptical.  
"Are you sure it's not a scam?" You had asked, rolling lazily around on his bed while he scrambled around his room, packing his bags.  
"It's not a scam," Jungwon laughed, carefully folding his clothes. 
"Did they ask for your social security number?"  
"Y/N."  
"Exactly. I'm just saying—if you end up on one of those exposé documentaries about fake talent shows, don't say I didn't warn you."  
Despite your teasing, you knew how much this meant to him. Jungwon had been dreaming about being in the music spotlight since he figured out how to work a karaoke machine at the age of six.  
So when he eventually did make his debut with his group, you weren't surprised at all—it was inevitable, written in the stars, just like how your friendship with him was.
What did surprise you, though, was how seamlessly you got roped into his new world.  
Sure, Jungwon's life got infinitely busier overnight, but there is no universe that exists in which he'd forget about you—his non-conjoined twin, ride-or-die, and ultimate life-long nuisance (his words, not yours).  
And so naturally, you became an honorary member of this new life of his. The boys' practice studio might as well be your new home—the endless days camping out on the floor of their dance studio with your head in your textbooks while they drilled their choreography for the hundredth time proved that. Or maybe how you crash on their dorm couch so often that Sunoo coined you your new nickname: their unofficial eighth member.  
Which brings you to now: a marketing major by day, unofficial idol by night, and, as always, a certified magnet to chaos.
Case in point? Whatever madness was happening around you at this exact moment.  
"Okay, but hear me out," Heeseung says, gesturing dramatically with his pizza slice—one of many scattered across the coffee table everyone was sitting around. "Pineapple is the perfect combination of sweet and savory—"  
"It's a crime against humanity," Sunghoon cuts in. 
Tomorrow? The boys leave for their five-month tour.  
Tonight? Tonight is tradition: the pre-tour pizza bash.  
Naturally, it's chaos, as no one has bothered with the last-minute packing they're supposed to be doing.  
Not a single bag is packed.  
"It's fruit on bread," you scrunch your nose, taking a bite of your own normal pepperoni pizza. "This isn't dessert, Hee."  
"Thank you!" Sunghoon reaches across the table to high-five you. 
From the couch behind you, Jake chuckles and nudges your back with his knee, "Big talk coming from someone who claims pickles belong on everything."  
"Uh, because they do," you whip your head around to glare at him. "Pickles are versatile."  
"Versatile my ass," Jungwon mumbles from his spot beside you. "I love you, but you're deranged."  
"Look who's talking, Mr. 'I-put-hot-sauce-on-everything'," you shoot back, eyes narrowing at your best friend. Everyone chuckles from around the table at your dramatic, yet endearing, overreaction. 
"Hot sauce is different," Jay chimes in without even looking up from his phone. "It's an enhancer."  
"Pickles enhance flavor too!"  
"By making everything taste like vinegar," Sunoo deadpans from your other side. "Gross."  
"Whatever," you roll your eyes. "You're all uncultured."  
"And you're a menace," Jake quips from behind you, his voice dripping with amusement. You don't even have to turn around to see the smirk on his face—you can hear it loud and clear. 
"Careful, Sim," you say with a sly glance over your shoulder. "Keep talking, and I'll start adding pickle juice to your coffee."  
The room fills with laughter, but before Jake can fire back, his phone buzzes aggressively against the couch. You watch him glance down at his screen before his playful smile instantly fades.  
"I'll be right back," Jake mutters, getting up and heading towards the kitchen without another word.  
You frown as you watch him disappear around the corner, the sudden shift in his mood gnawing at you, and you can't help but wonder what's gotten under his skin. 
After a few more minutes of heated debates over pizza toppings—and yet another round of everyone ganging up on your weird pickle obsession—you decide it was time for a drink refill.  
Excusing yourself, you step into the kitchen, only to find Jake leaning against the counter, his arms crossed and gaze fixed on the empty wall in front of him. His phone sits abandoned on the counter, screen dark.  
"Jake?" You call out softly, approaching slowly. 
Your voice breaks through his haze, his expression flickering as he registers you standing in the doorway, your brows furrowed in concern.  
"What's going on?" You ask, moving closer to stand in front of him.   
"Nothing," Jake says too quickly, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
You give him a look and he knows that you know he's lying, "Jake.."  
He exhales, his expression crumbling as he runs a hand through his hair, "Just...Jenn called."  
Ah. Of course. Jenn.  
You almost flinch at the sound of the name, the weight it carries instantly souring your stomach. Jake's on-again, off-again girlfriend of two years was a constant source of heartbreak—not just for the poor boy, but for the entire group who helped pick up the pieces of his broken heart after every messy break-up…and even messier make-up.  
"She broke up with me," Jake admits quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "For real this time. Something about me leaving for tour and how it wasn't going to work out."  
Your heart hurts at the sight of him in front of you—shoulders slumped, hands nervously twisting the hem of his shirt, as if trying to distract himself from the conversation.  
"Oh, Jake...," you murmur, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder as you lean against the counter next to him.  
"I'm fine," he insists, waving it off, but the expression on his face clearly betrays him.  
"No, you're not," you say, trying to catch his eyes. "And that's okay."  
Jake lets out a shaky breath, finally looking up from the ground to look at you, before shrugging, "I don't even know why I’m surprised. We've been...really off for a while now. Like, more than usual. But still, it sucks."  
“Of course, it sucks," you nod, agreeing softly. "You guys were together for a long time. You cared about her."  
For a moment, the two of you sit in a heavy silence with an unspoken understanding, the only sounds coming from the muffled chatter and laughter in the other room. You stay close, letting him process without pushing further.  
Still, you can't entirely suppress the annoying flare of emotions bubbling in your chest—a tangled knot of sympathy and…something else. Relief, maybe? Not that you would ever wish any sort of pain on Jake—but you hate the way Jenn always leaves him like this: drained, doubting himself, and trying to piece together what went wrong, where he went wrong. 
"Come back to the living room," you say finally, nudging his side gently. "Ni-ki is freaking out over which hoodies to pack. And I swear, they're all the same black hoodie."  
Jake lets out a small, tired laugh, "You don't need me for that. He's gonna end up packing all of them, just watch."  
"You don't know that," you tease. "Besides, I need someone's back up to help me convince him he's not actually going through an emo phase."  
His eyes carry a faint smile as he looks at you, the corners of his lips lifting just enough to remind you of the warmth he usually carries.  
"Okay," he says in a whisper, pushing himself off the counter.  
You start towards the doorway, forgetting about your drink refill entirely, but his voice stops you.  
"Y/N?"  
You turn to find him still standing there, his eyes filled with warmth and appreciation.  
"Thanks," he adds, a small smile on his face. It's such a simple statement, but the way he says it—soft, sincere, and maybe just a little desperate—makes something twist in your stomach. "For just...always being here."  
You smile back up at the boy, "Of course, Jake. I'll always be here for you. You know that."  
For a moment, he holds your gaze, as if taking a mental note of something. Then he nods, his shoulders relaxing.
"Okay," he says, exhaling as he gestures toward the doorway. "Let's go.”
You follow behind the boy back to the living room, silently hoping he knows just how much you mean your promise to him.  
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Jake's body is on autopilot at this point.  
Another city, another show, another string of flashing lights and deafening cheers. It's a month into tour, and the endless loop of responsibilities has left him no room to just breathe.  
And he loves this life—he really does. But tonight, for reasons he can't explain, the adrenaline that usually keeps him afloat isn't enough. Pure exhaustion lingers in his bones, heavier than the applause and screams echoing in his memory, and he just can’t seem to shake it. 
When his head finally hits the stiff hotel pillow, Jake exhales with a heavy sigh. The city around him is alive, the neon lights brightly dancing against his windowpane, but he feels none of it. 
Instead? He just feels the weight of homesickness and the ache of being alone. 
Normally, he would push through, shove these thoughts into the back of his mind, call it a night. But tonight, the ache feels different—sharper, louder—and before he knows it, his phone is in his hand before he can talk himself out of it, his thumb hovering over your name on his screen. 
A familiar battle wages in his mind, one he’s been battling more recently ever since tour became a little heavier on him. Slowly, the quiet yearning has been creeping in, and he’s been missing home more and more, craving the feeling of familiarity. But it isn’t just the physical places or the comfort of his regular routine that he craves. 
It’s something else, something harder to name. 
And for some other reason he can’t seem to explain, he thinks it’s you. 
Jake doesn’t know when it started. Maybe it was hearing the sound of your voice through the phone whenever the guys called you to check in every now and then. Or maybe it was the way you would text in their shared group chat, your messages always tinged with humor or a sense of calm that somehow made everything feel a little less overwhelming. 
Whatever it was, it stuck with him. He finds himself craving that unexplainable comfort only you seem to bring. He tells himself it’s nothing special, just the natural pull of familiarity. You’re back at home, the place he misses the most, so obviously, through association, it makes sense. 
It’s logical. Nothing more. 
That’s what he tells himself as his thumb hovers over your name. It’s not about you specifically—it couldn’t be. It’s just the connection to home. The grounding warmth of your voice. The way you somehow make the distance feel a little less suffocating. 
Obviously. Nothing more. 
He presses call.  
Two rings. That's all it takes before your voice cuts through all the static in his head. Groggy, soft, and achingly familiar. Like home.  
"Jake? It's late, is everything okay?"  
Jake glances at the clock. 10:13PM where he is. Much later for you, he imagines. Guilt stirs, but...  
He doesn't want to hang up. 
Hearing your voice feels like the first breath of air after surfacing from deep water. He instantly feels more comfortable despite the heaviness in his chest.
"Hey," he mumbles, his voice quiet. "I'm okay. Just...needed to hear a friendly voice, I guess."  
"Wow, are the boys that bad that you need to call me?" You tease warmly, despite the sleepiness lingering in your words.  
Jake chuckles, the sound low and tired, "Nothing against them, really. It's just...sometimes you need someone who reminds you of home, you know?"  
The other end of the line goes quiet for a moment. He can hear you shuffle, and he braces himself for a teasing comment about him being sappy and sentimental. But instead, your voice softens.  
"Well, I'm glad I could be that for you," your voice telling him you're smiling brightly on the other side of the screen. "Though if I had a private jet, I'd send it right now. Bring you back instantly."  
"A private jet, huh?" Jake's eyes flutter close as he's engulfed into the usual, playful rhythm that's always there between the two of you. "You'd do that for me?"  
"Only if you bring back goodies, preferably snacks," you quip back, and the warmth in his chest grows.  
There's another pause, the kind that feels comfortable rather than awkward. Jake shifts in his spot and before he can stop himself, he blurts out, “How do you do that?”  
“Do what?” 
“Make everything feel...lighter. Like, I can’t explain it, but just hearing you makes me feel like I’m not carrying all this stuff by myself.” 
Your voice softens at his sudden vulnerability. 
“Because you don't have to carry it all on your own, Jake. You know that, right? That’s what friends are for."  
Jake hums in response, a low sound of acknowledgement as he keeps his phone pressed close, your voice instantly soothing the heavy emotions he's been carrying. 
"You sound exhausted," you say after a beat, your tone cautious but filled with genuine care. "How are you holding up? With everything—the tour, the...break-up, just...you?"  
Jake lets out a low groan, his fingers brushing through his hair. "You sound like my mom."  
"Well, someone has to," you tease lightly, a relieved laugh slipping into your voice, as if you'd been afraid you overstepped. "Seriously, Jake. Are you doing okay?"  
Jake hesitates, the question catching him off guard. He hadn't let himself think too much about Jenn or the breakup since leaving for tour a month ago. The boys knew better than to bring it up, and Jake had been grateful for that—for the distraction.  
But now, with you, it feels different. 
Safer, easier. Natural.  
“Honestly? I don’t know,” he sighs, the sound heavy through the phone. “Some days it feels like I’m fine, like I’ve moved on, and other days...it’s like I’m stuck in this loop of ‘what ifs.’ Like, what if I did something different? Or..."  
He trails off to a pause, his throat tight, before he finally admits to you, and himself, "...what if I just wasn't enough?"  
“Jake,” you say gentle but firm, cutting through his spiraling thoughts. “You are enough. You've always been enough. Jenn...she just wasn’t the right person for you. That doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.” 
He swallows hard, your words settling into the cracks he didn't even realize were there. 
"Thanks, Y/N. I mean it. It's just...hard, you know? Haven't really talked about it since it happened. But talking to you helps—a lot."  
“I’m glad." He can hear the quiet sincerity in your words. “And for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing an amazing job. With tour, with...everything. You've got this, Jake. I’m really proud of you.”
Jake lets out a breathy laugh, the warmth in your words settling something in his chest—a knot he didn't even realize was there. 
“You always know what to say, don’t you?” 
“It’s a gift,” you easily reply, and he can hear the grin in your voice, the easy banter making him feel lighter.  
"I missed this," the words tumble out before he can stop himself. Then he quickly adds, as if to explain himself, "It's weird not having you around. The boys are great and all, but you give the best advice. Don't tell them that."  
You giggle on your end, the sound making Jake's lips curve into a small smile and his heart twists.  
In both a comforting and terrifying way. 
"I miss it too," your voice quieter now. "But I'm here. You know that, right? Even if you're on the other side of the world, or if you call me at four in the morning like you're doing right now."  
Jake lets out a chuckle followed by a sleepy groan, "Sorry about that. But...thank you, Y/N. For picking up."  
"Always," you reply, and he hopes you mean it.  
A beat passes. Jake knows he should hang up, that he should let you sleep. He tries to convince himself that you need the sleep more than he needs this call.  
But he can't help himself.  
"You'll yell at me if I don't sleep, won't you?"  
"Absolutely. Go to bed, Jake. Or at least try. Zombie mode doesn't suit you."  
"Fine," he sighs dramatically, but his eyes feel heavier and he knows he's falling asleep, the tension in his body from before easing away. "But only because you scare me sometimes."  
You laugh. "Good. Now get some rest. And call me whenever you need to, okay?"  
"Okay," he mumbles into his phone quietly, his mind already slipping into a deep sleep. 
"Goodnight, Y/N."  
"Goodnight, Jake."  
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"Don't you have a bedtime, Sim Jaeyun?" You tease, answering the call. The clock reads 1:27AM, and you should be asleep—you really should—but you smile anyways when Jake's name appears on your screen.  
"Bedtime? I don't know her," his voice slightly groggy, but as usual, still warm. "Besides I knew you'd be awake. You don't sleep like a normal person either."  
You roll your eyes, knowing fully well he can't see it, "Yeah, well, I don't have to dance around a stage for two hours tomorrow."  
"True, but you do have to deal with my constant calls and keep me entertained. That's way harder."  
"Oh yeah, obviously," you say with mock seriousness. "Being your emotional support human is a full-time job." 
“Emotional support human,” Jake repeats, chuckling softly. “You’re right. I guess I really owe you, huh?”
“Oh, 100%,” you shoot back, a grin in your voice. “I want one of those tour hoodies you guys keep posting with.” 
“Done. What size?” 
"The oversized one."  
Jake pauses. “Let me guess—so you can sleep in it?"  
You hesitate, suddenly sheepish at how he knows you too well, “Hey, it's only cozy if it's oversized!"  
You hear his soft laugh on the other end of the line. 
“Cute. I’ll make sure to steal one for you.” 
You try not to overanalyze the way your stomach flips at the word cute, and the easy way he says it, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.  
You shake the thought off immediately. This wasn't new, after all, Jake's always warm and easy to talk to. But lately—over the past month of phone calls—the way he says certain things, the tone he says them in, and the way they make you feel? It carried a weight you weren't sure how to hold.  
In both a comforting and terrifying way.  
“So, how was your day?” you suddenly bring up, trying to redirect your thoughts. 
"Tiring," Jake sighs, his voice muffled as he shifts around in bed. "And Jungwon keeps beating me at Mario Kart during our break time. My pride is in shambles, Y/N."  
"Let me guess," you smirk, repeating his words from earlier. "He picks Yoshi, and you keep picking Toad because you think he's underrated."  
"Excuse me," Jake scoffs. "Toad is underrated. But, for your information, I choose Toad because your go-to character is Toadette."  
Your heart does that stupid flip again. His words are light—I mean, you guys are talking about Mario Kart for god's sake—but it's stuff like that that keeps you questioning the true meaning behind his words.
You ignore the feeling, instead, a laugh bubbles up in response, an attempt to sound unaffected.
"You're so weird."  
“But you like it,” he quips, voice dipping just slightly, like he’s testing the waters. 
You're caught off guard by the sudden shift in his tone, but you recover just as quickly. 
"Debatable."  
“Liar.”
His tone is teasing, but there's something softer behind it, “You wouldn’t still be on the phone with me if you didn’t like me at least a little.” 
“Maybe I’m just bored,” you shoot back, though your cheeks are burning at his sudden forwardness, questioning if he’s serious or just messing with you. 
You hear him hum in response, "Then I guess I'll have to work harder to keep you interested."  
“Oh yeah? How are you planning to do that?” You try to match his teasing tone, but internally, you feel unsteady under the implication of his words. 
“By being my usual charming self, duh,” he says, his voice dropping into a smooth tone. “And, you know, calling you every night so you don’t forget about me.” 
Your heart squeezes. "You already do that, stupid. You think I'd forget about you?"  
“Never,” Jake's reply is immediate, almost instinctive, leaving no room for doubt. “But just in case…I like hearing your voice. Makes me feel like I’m not a million miles away.” 
His words linger in the space between you, heavier than the playful banter from earlier. You swallow hard, trying your best to keep your voice steady. 
“You’re not a million miles away, Jake.” 
“Feels like it,” he murmurs. You hear a pause in his voice, as if he's thinking hard about his next words. “I miss home. I miss...you." 
Your chest tightens, and your hands grip the sheets beneath you, as if the fabric could somehow ground you. Your heart is doing that thing again—the erratic, terrifying thing that makes you want to believe in something you're not sure is even real.  
And at the same time, your thoughts are scrambling to say something lighthearted before the conversation steers into that dangerous, dangerous territory you were sure you weren't ready for.  
Not yet.  
"Well, you better win at least one round of Mario Kart for me while you're out there," you force a laugh, trying to mask the tremor in your voice.  
Jake laughs, the sound genuine, "I'll try. But if I lose, just know I'm dedicating every race to you."  
"Wow, I'm so honored," you try to deadpan, but he can sense the grin in your voice.  
"You should be," his voice softens again. "Thanks for picking up tonight, by the way. I know it's late."  
He never fails to thank you every night, as if you haven't been picking up every day for the past month and won't be picking up tomorrow, and the next day...and the day after that.  
And, somehow, the same, genuine appreciation makes it so hard for you to ignore that weird, warm, fluttering sensation growing inside you every time you talk to him.  
But, regardless, you always give him the same reply: 
"Always," your voice matching his softness. "Call me whenever, okay?"  
"Don’t say that," Jake warns, the teasing edge creeping back into his tone. "I'll actually do it."  
"Fine," you giggle. "But if you call me at four in the morning again, I'm putting my phone on Do Not Disturb." 
"Deal." He pauses, then adds, "Goodnight, Y/N."  
"Goodnight, Jake."  
As you hang up, you stare at your phone for a moment longer than you should have, your room feeling oddly quiet and too empty without his voice.  
It's just another call, Y/N. Just another call between two friends.  
But deep down, a part of you tells you it isn’t that simple anymore.  
And maybe—just maybe—he knows it too.  
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“Are you busy?” Jake’s voice sounds more tired than usual, heavy with an overwhelming amount of tension. 
“Never too busy for our calls,” you easily reply without hesitation as you lay back in your bed, phone close to your ear. Your voice is light, a stark contrast to the weariness laced in his, and when he doesn’t respond with his typical chuckle, you immediately sense his mood. “Hard day?” 
He exhales slowly, the weary sound answering your question. Today was a lot. Hours of rehearsal followed by a concert, the adrenaline rush of performing, followed by the chaos of having the guys’ hotel information leaked. Crowds of paparazzi and fans swarmed the entrance, the relentless flashes of cameras breaking through whatever little pieces of calm he had left within him. The noise, the pressure, the endless cycle—all spiraled into a mental mess he doesn’t seem to shake. 
The second he settled into his hotel room, all Jake knew was that he needed to talk to you—the one person who could steady his racing thoughts. 
"I just...I didn't think this would get to me, you know? The cameras, the people, the flashes in my face—I'm just—it's like I'm never alone."  
Your heart twists at the vulnerability and rawness in his voice, as if he’s admitting something for the first time—not just to anyone else, but to himself. 
"I—I don't know. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear, just for a little while. Just to breathe, you know?"  
You close your eyes, your grip on the phone unconsciously tightening as if it could anchor him somehow.  
"I know it's not the same," your voice steady, even as you internally ached for him, "but...you can disappear with me, Jake. Even if it's just through the call. No cameras. No noise. Just...you and me."  
He lets out an exhale—shaky, but relieved.  
"You're really good at this. Making me feel like it's all gonna be okay."  
"Because it is going to be okay, Jake," you reply softly. "You're not alone, Jake. Not with me."  
"Yeah," he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, and he wishes more than anything else in this moment that he actually was with you. “I know.” 
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"Jake," you groan, sitting cross-legged on your bed, staring at the flustered boy through your laptop screen. "I'm begging you—just wear the black jacket. It's literally impossible to mess up black."  
"But what about the beanie?" He whines as he pops back into view, his face scrunched up in genuine distress. "Do you think I can pull it off, or will I look like I'm trying too hard? Be honest, Y/N."  
What started as a simple fashion-advice-question over the phone turned into a two-hour wardrobe emergency—all because Jake couldn’t figure out what to wear to the airport the next day (because, apparently, airport fits matter—his words, not yours).
"Jake, you could wear a literal trash bag to the airport and fans would still lose their minds," you tease, biting back a laugh. 
He rolls his eyes at you, but the smile tugging at his lips says otherwise.  
"Okay, but seriously, you’re trying too hard. Just go with the jacket, no beanie," you add on, just to end this two-hour long madness.  
"Hmm," Jake plops on his bed and turns towards his phone camera, and you swear you can see the pout forming on his lips. "But I already posted a preview of the jacket last week. Isn't that, like, repetitive?"  
"Jake,” you blink at him, "it's an airport. Not a fashion show."  
He stares at you for a beat, then lets out a dramatic sigh, "Fine! Jacket, no beanie. But if I see even one criticizing comment calling me basic, I'm blaming you."  
You laugh, shaking your head at his ridiculousness, "Deal. Now go to sleep, Sim Jaeyun."  
His grin softens as he adjusts the camera to fully look at you, pout gone, eyes glistening.
"Only because you said so."  
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"Hey," you say softly, answering the call as you snuggle deeper into your blanket, letting it engulf you completely.
The familiar sound of Jake's quiet breathing fills the space between you, and before he even says a word, you already know.  
"Rough day?" You ask gently when he doesn’t say anything after a few seconds. 
"Yeah," he murmurs, his voice quieter than usual, almost drowned out by the low hum of background noise. "I just...I don't really feel like talking right now, if that's okay."  
"Of course," you reply without hesitation, your tone gentle, no questions asked.
On the other end, Jake presses the phone closer to this ear in an attempt to feel closer to you, instantly feeling better from your pure understanding of how he’s feeling, and he thinks—not for the first time—that you might be his favorite person in the world.  
The warm silence engulfs the both of you like a shared blanket, unspoken yet understood. You can hear the faint echoes of his surroundings: the muffled laughter of the boys somewhere nearby, the distant honk of traffic outside his hotel, and then the quiet shuffle of Jake shifting positions in his hotel bed. You catch his breath catching slightly, like he's finally allowing himself to relax—to just be.  
You don't try to fill the silence. You know that he needs this—a moment of peace in the chaos. Instead, you similarly press the phone closer to your ear, as if doing so can somehow bridge the miles between you, hoping he can sense your presence reaching out for him. 
Minutes pass like this, and for a moment, it’s so quiet you begin to wonder if he's falling asleep. But then, a deep exhale breaks the stillness.
"Thank you, Y/N," he says finally, his voice low but steady, carrying a weight of sincerity that makes your heart clench.  
"You don't have to thank me, Jake," your voice matches his softness. "You know that."  
"Still," his voice is low, so quiet, it feels like a secret meant only for you. "I appreciate you. More than you probably know."  
You smile to yourself, your heart aching in the best way possible, and you desperately try your best to ignore it, no matter how much excitement it brought you. 
"Always, Jake." 
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“Tell me something about you that I don’t already know,” you challenge him, your voice carrying that light and endearing tone over the phone that Jake’s come to crave. 
“Hmm,” Jake hums thoughtfully as he lies in his bed, eyes closed, just simply treasuring the small moments, like this one, with you. 
Even though it’s definitely 3AM where he is right now. And he definitely has to be up in a few hours for rehearsal. 
Oh well, completely irrelevant. Talking about everything and anything with you just felt so right. 
“I don’t know,” he eventually exhales, his brain too foggy to think of anything logical right now. “I feel like you know me better than I know myself at this point, Y/N.” 
“You’re so corny it physically hurts, Jake,” you scoff, and Jake swears he can feel your exaggerated eye roll from thousands of miles away. 
“Oh—wait, wait! I have one,” he perks up, his eyes shooting open as he turns towards the phone in excitement. 
“Hit me,” you say, unconsciously smiling at how cute he sounds. 
“I’m allergic to flowers.” 
The line falls silent for a beat before you erupt into a storm of giggles so wild it makes Jake feel sick from how fast the butterflies in his stomach start fluttering. 
“That’s your fun fact? That’s so tragic, Jake,” you gasp through your giggles. “Like, depressingly tragic.” 
“Hey! It’s not that sad, it could be worse,” Jake hopes you can hear his pout over the phone (you can). 
“So you’re telling me you’ve never bought a girl flowers before?” You tease, smiling to yourself as you stare at your ceiling. 
“Guess not,” Jake lets out a laugh, which surprises himself. “Jenn used to always get mad at me for never getting her any, but what am I supposed to do? Show up with a bouquet and an epi-pen? I literally start tearing up whenever I’m around any kind.” 
You lose it all over again, your laughter spilling through Jake’s phone like sunshine, and Jake doesn’t even realize he’s smiling so widely until his cheeks start to ache. 
But what Jake does realize is something unexpected: for the first time in forever, he can talk about Jenn without a single pang of…anything. No weird tension, no lingering sadness—just a casual mention and then…nothing. 
It’s freeing, this feeling of lightness, like an invisible weight he didn’t know he was even carrying has suddenly lifted. He wonders if this is what moving on really feels like, if he’s found his emotional freedom. He wonders when it changed. 
He wonders maybe it’s not when—maybe it’s who.  
And he wonders if it’s you. 
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Today was supposed to be Jake’s day off. The golden ticket to rest, recharge, and not think about anything.
Key term: supposed to be.
Instead, Jake found himself knee-deep in the trenches of emotional warfare—and losing spectacularly.
The morning started innocently enough. No alarm, no schedule, just the soft promise of freedom that was so close within his reach. But by noon, Jake came to a harsh realization.
Freedom was a lie.
Because every step, every sight, every breath, was haunted by one inescapable thought: You.
It started with a boutique. Him and the boys had wandered down a cobblestone street in a city that Jake had already forgotten the name of—city number ten or eleven of tour? He barely knew anymore. But then his gaze caught on a mannequin in the window.
Big mistake.
The outfit on display—similar to his mind—had you written all over it. Immediately, his brain spiraled.
Y/N would love that. She'd probably drag me and all the guys in and force me to hold her bag while she tried it on.
He had to physically stop himself from dragging the group inside to purchase it on the spot.
Next? A coffee shop. And there it was: a poster featuring some limited-edition iced peach latte. Jake froze, staring at it like it held the answers to life itself.
You’d love it. You would order it, (well, you'd make Jake order it, because you hate talking to cashiers), sip it, smile, and probably rant about how overpriced it was—even though Jake would pay for it—yet you’d still finish the entire thing.
And then, you'd steal half of his drink, too. 
Because you always did. 
And Jake always lets you.
The final straw? A cat. Just a random stray, peacefully lounging on a sunny part of sidewalk, looking like it had zero interest in the world around it. And even that didn't escape Jake's you-obsessed filter. Without even thinking, Jake whipped out his phone. 
It was instinctual at this point.
Jake [1:06PM]: (attached - one image) Jake [1:06PM]: thought you'd like this one :)
Because obviously, you needed to see that cat. Immediately.
By the time Jake collapses onto his hotel bed that evening, he feels like he’d run a mental marathon—except instead of a finish line, every road led back to you.
He flops onto his bed, hoping sleep would save him from the storm raging in his brain.
Spoiler alert: it doesn't.
Instead, it leads him to the complete opposite. He stares at your name on his phone, your contact picture, your last messages to him. 
You texted him two hours ago—a sweet goodnight message that ended with your usual, 'Don't hesitate to call if you need me.' 
Casual. Normal.
But it probably didn't mean, 'Hey, please interrupt my sleep from the other side of the world so we can discuss your ongoing emotional crisis over me.'
Don't do it, Jake. The remaining rational brain cells within him beg him to stop. You're being dramatic. She's not the air you need to breathe.
But at the same time, deep down, Jake really thinks you are.
The worst part? You two already had talked on the phone earlier—when Jake had another fashion crisis and couldn't decide what to wear for his day off exploring with the guys. Of course, you laughed at him, teased him, but then helped him pick something out anyways. Typical.
Personally, if it was up to him, he'd spent his whole day off on the phone with you. Talking about everything. Or nothing. Whatever you wanted, Jake would've done it, no hesitation.
Don't do it, Jake, his brain warns him again. What kind of obsessed-lunatic calls the same person twice in one day?
Answer: Jake.
But as Jake lies in his hotel bed, thoughts heavily clouded with the image of you and the sound of your voice, he realizes...this wasn't just a phone call thing. No, this was deeper, worse. And somewhere between staring at the same patch of ceiling and replaying every memory of you on a mental loop, Jake tries to rationalize it.
She’s just a good friend, Jake. A best friend, even! You think about her a lot because she’s cool and funny and…and she has the laugh of a Disney princess...But it’s normal to think about your friends, right? Right??
But the more he tries to downplay it, the clearer it becomes. This was something else.
And then it hits.
Like, really hits.
Oh my god. I like her.
Jake shoots upright, widened eyes filled with horror, as if the realization itself just physically smacked him across the face.
No, no, no, no, no. This can’t be happening.
Jake buries his face in his hands, groaning. But the groan quickly turns into a muffled scream, because the more he thinks about it, the worse it gets.
Because he thinks you're going to be the death of him. He really, really likes you. Not in the vague, 'Oh, she’s cute' way, but in the write-her-name-in-a-heart-and-doodle-little-stars-around-it kind of way. The stare-at-her-texts-like-they’re-poetry kind of way. The imagine-her-laughing-at-your-dad’s-jokes-and-enjoying-your-mom’s-meals-forever kind of way.
And this feeling? It's new. It's terrifying. 
It's exhilarating.
Jake realizes in this very moment that he's never experienced this heart-pounding, face-flushing, breath-taking kind of feeling towards anyone. Sure, his past relationship had been meaningful in its own way, but now Jake is realizing that the foundation of his past relationship was tangled up in obligations and unspoken expectations. A tightrope act of Jake having to be the perfect boyfriend, the perfect idol, the perfect...everything. He never realized how suffocating it was until now—until you. Because this feeling with you?
This was pure. Simple, clear, and undeniable.
Your sheer existence proved that it's possible for someone to understand him better than he understands himself. Your laugh had a way of making everything feel lighter, like the weight of the world had been momentarily suspended. Just one look from you alone somehow always manages to make him feel like he was still worthy even on his worst days.
With you, Jake felt...himself, for once. Not Jake Sim, global popstar. Not Jake Sim, the boyfriend of so-and-so. Just...Jake.
Jake's heart pounds as the realization sinks in. He's now transitioned from screaming into his hands to his poor hotel pillow.
Because as clear and strong as this feeling is, the doubt is just as overwhelming. What if you don't feel the same? What if this ruins everything?
But at the same time...what if you do feel the same way?
What if this is his chance? The butterfly effect that changes everything? What if you're it? You have to be.
And so, like an idiot possessed, Jake's finger is one millimeter away from pressing call on your name again.
Because, obviously, the best way to deal with overwhelming feelings is to confess them from a hotel room five countries away.
Obviously. 
Because what if he didn't call? What if he spent the rest of his night spiraling into an endless pit of unspoken feelings and overthinking, arms flailing as he knows the only way out of the pit is with your help?
What if his brain explodes with the sheer amount of feelings he has for you and he never has the chance to tell you ever again?
He presses call.
The line rings twice before you answer.
"Jake?" Your voice is soft, laced with surprise and just the faintest trace of sleep. "It's late for you, is everything okay?"
Jake's brain short-circuits. What time even is it for him? He has no idea, and frankly, he doesn't care.
"Yeah," he blurts, far too quickly that he winces at himself. He clears his throat before trying again, "I mean, yeah. Everything's fine. I just...couldn't sleep."
"Oh," you hum softly and Jake swears the sound alone could single-handedly resolve global wars.
Yeah, he definitely likes you.
"Is something stressing you out?" The genuine concern in your voice makes his chest tighten.
"No—well, nothing like that," Jake rushes to assure you, sitting up straighter in bed now, as if you could see him. His voice lowers, almost shy, "I just...I was thinking about you."
Silence. Jake's heart pounds so loudly, he's sure you can hear it through the phone.
"About me?" You finally tease, light and playful, but there's something softer underneath. "What did I do to deserve such an honor?"
Jake lets out a nervous, breathy laugh, running a hand through his hair, “You exist. That’s what.”
Another pause. He hears you exhale softly, and the sound alone sends his heart into overdrive.
"That was smooth," your voice is quiet, soft, as if teetering on the line of teasing and nervousness at the same time. "Ten out of ten, Jake."
"I'm serious," Jake tries his best to keep his voice from cracking, the weight of his feelings pressing down on him. "I was lying here, thinking about everything, and I realized something."
"And what's that?"
Jake's throat goes dry. His heart is screaming at him to say it, but his brain begs him to reconsider.
But Jake's sure he's lost all his rational brain cells for sure at this point, so he swallows hard, and braces himself for impact.
"I like you, Y/N."
The words spill out, raw and unpolished, but so utterly true.
“I mean, I really like you," Jake continues, his voice barely above a whisper now. "More than a friend, more than anything.”
The line goes silent, and for a split second, a lifetime of pure awkwardness and torture of not having you in his life anymore flashes in his vision, and he rushes to fill the void.
"I know this is probably the worst timing ever, and probably really scary...and it's okay if you don't feel the same way," his voice definitely cracks this time, laying everything bare, but he doesn't care anymore. "But I had to tell you. I can't pretend around you, not when being around you feels like the only time I'm really me."
Then, you let out a soft exhale—a disbelieving, breathless sound that makes Jake's heart skip a beat.
"Jake..."
"You're...you're everything, Y/N. You make life better just by being in it. And I haven't even seen you in four months, but you're all I think about," Jake lets out a small laugh, swallowing the remainder of all his pride and dignity. "I promise, when I'm back...I'll prove it to you. I'll show you how much you mean to me. Anything it takes. "
For once in his life, Jake feels completely vulnerable—and yet, strangely, it feels right.
Because he means it, every word.
He's never meant anything more.
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The line had gone quiet after Jake’s confession, his words echoing in your ears. 
“I like you, Y/N.” 
No, not like. Really, really like. 
You spent the last few days replaying his words over and over, dissecting every syllable, every tiny inflection in this voice. At first, it didn't even seem real.  
A part of you still thinks it isn't—that this is all a cruel dream and you're going to wake up any second now back in the real world. The one where Jake Sim, the boy who turns heads and steals hearts without even trying, didn't just confess his deepest, most vulnerable feelings for you in a single phone call. 
But no. He said it, alright. Clear as day.  
First, all you felt was pure happiness. Maybe it was hearing his voice everyday, or maybe it was seeing how his face lit up through the screen when you picked up his video calls—but somewhere along the way, you knew it was something deeper. 
Something that made your heart skip when his name lit up your phone, something that left you craving his voice to make your day feel complete. And now? Now the boy who’d effortlessly become your favorite part of every day was telling you you’d done the same for him. 
But then, came the fear. 
Because what if this was just a rebound? What if you were just a soft landing for him, a way to patch up the holes left behind by his past? Here you were, standing at the edge of something terrifyingly real, wondering if you were just a step in his recovery process—a way to fill the cracks, but not the kind of permanence you were beginning to crave. 
You weren’t naive enough to see Jake’s past relationship didn’t still linger in the corners of his mind. You’d seen him struggle with it before, how hard he’d tried to convince himself he was fine. What if you were just the next step in his healing, rather than something real—a Band-Aid for a wound that wasn’t even yours to heal? 
And worse—what if you let it happen? What if you let yourself fall, only to hit the ground at an alarming speed, and...splat. Not just a regular, embarrassing tumble, no. But the kind that leaves you flattened on the pavement like a cartoon character who ignored every warning sign. 
Because that’s exactly what it would feel like, wouldn’t it? Giving it, letting yourself hope—only to crash and burn spectacularly. 
Deep down, you knew you weren’t just risking a little heartache. Because Jake? Jake had quietly claimed a permanent spot in your heart at this point. 
You were risking everything. 
And the worst part? 
You were already halfway there. 
That was the reason why you told him you needed time. The reason why all you could manage to respond was a meek, 'I just...I need to think about this.' And to his credit, Jake hadn't pushed. Of course, not.  
But now, three days later, you were no closer to an answer. If anything, the time apart had made everything worse. 
Because as the days stretched on, with every passing hour, every text you didn’t send and every call you didn’t make, one thing became gut-wrenchingly, undeniably clear: 
You were already his. 
You miss Jake’s voice, his laugh, the way he rambles about the most random things late at night. You miss how, somehow, he made you fall asleep with a smile on your face from the other side of the world. You miss him, that even in his absence, he was still your first thought in your mind when you woke up and the last before you drifted to sleep. 
And no amount of overthinking or second-guessing could change the truth that finally settled in your chest like a secret you weren’t ready to admit to yourself:
You were his. Completely. 
The only question now was whether you’d let yourself believe he was yours too. 
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"Y/N?"  
"Jungwon," you groan helplessly into your phone. "Help me."  
A pause. Then, "Are you sure you meant to call me? It's Jungwon, not Jake," he teases lightly. "I can go get Jake if you meant—" 
"Jungwon!" You cut him off, panicked. "I'm being serious. It's about Jake, dummy."  
"Oh," his tone shifts instantly as he senses the seriousness in your voice. "Did something happen? Because I swear, for the past three days, Jake's been moping around like a kicked puppy, and I was gonna ask you about it because I know you guys have been talking a lot more, but I didn't want to push, and—" 
"That's exactly it, Jungwon!" You wail into your pillow, your voice muffled. Great, now you feel even worse, knowing Jake is moping around, waiting for you.   
"What's exactly it?" Your best friend presses, voice curious. "I need specifics, Y/N."  
You hesitate, the words clinging to the back of your throat like they're too heavy to admit. Finally, you take a deep breath and force them out.  
"Jake told me he likes me, Jungwon. Like really, really likes me. He gave this whole monologue about how I'm all he can think about, and it was so cute, and it made me want to explode from joy and fear all at once, and I don't know what to do!"  
A beat of silence. 
Jungwon sucks in a dramatic breath and then, "Wait, wait, wait. Back up. First of all, this is not news to me."  
You blink, as if he can see your look of shock over the phone, "What?"  
"This was obvious, Y/N. The guy's been smitten with you for months. You guys literally have been talking every day since we left."  
Your jaw drops, "So what? You and I talk every day! How is this any different?"  
Jungwon snorts, "Y/N, we text every day. About minuscule things. Like me reminding you not to forget your keys and you ghosting my last text. But you and Jake? You guys talk for hours—into the illegal hours of the night, mind you. Trust me, I know. Hotel walls are thin."  
You feel your cheeks flushing, "That doesn't mean anything."  
"Doesn't it?" Jungwon's voice is laced with amusement. "When's the last time you called me just to hear my voice?"  
"Jungwon."  
"Exactly."  
You groan again, "But Jungwon, what if…what if he's not over Jenn? What if I'm just a rebound?"  
Jungwon goes quiet for a moment, his tone softening when he finally speaks, “Jake’s not like that, Y/N. You know that. He wouldn’t tell you he likes you unless he meant it.” 
“Yeah, but—” 
“Look," he interrupts. "Jake’s a lot of things—annoyingly loud, for one—but he’s not the kind of guy who’d use someone, especially you, as a rebound. If he said he likes you, he likes you.” 
You bite your lip, his words settling over you like a warm blanket—because you know they're true.  
“And for what it’s worth,” Jungwon continues, “I think you like him too.” 
“I..,” you falter, your heart hammering in your chest. “I do.” 
“Then what are you waiting for?” 
You sigh, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the nerves coiled in your stomach, “I don’t know. I guess I’m scared.” 
“That’s okay,” Jungwon says gently. “But don’t let fear stop you from something that could make you happy. You deserve that, Y/N. And so does Jake.” 
You close your eyes, letting Jungwon's words sink in. Deep down, you know he's right, he always is.  
"Thanks, Jungwon," you say, your voice softer now, tinged with gratitude.  
"Anytime," he replies, and then, with a teasing lilt, "But seriously—you should probably tell him soon. I can't stand watching him mope around like a sad, abandoned puppy. It's seriously tragic, like, to the point where I’m gonna have to start letting him win at Mario Kart."  
A small giggle escapes you, light and genuine for the first time in three days, "I know, I know. Eventually."  
"Y/N," his voice turns playfully stern, like a parent lecturing their toddler. "Eventually isn't a time. Just call him. You've been thinking about him nonstop, haven't you?" 
Unfortunately, Jungwon knows you too well. Your silent response betrays you, and Jungwon lets out a triumphant hum.  
"Thought so. Well, you should go. You have a call to make."  
You sigh, a mix of nerves and a new determination bubbling, "Okay, okay. But if this goes horribly wrong, I'm blaming you."  
"It won't. But deal," his tone is reassuring, confident, like he already knows how this story ends. "You got this, Y/N."  
The call ends, and the quiet still of your room taunts you. For a moment, you sit there, staring at your phone, the little icon of Jake's contact picture—a selfie the two of you took together many years ago—staring back at you like a challenge.  
Your fingers hover. Your heart races, your palms feel clammy, and your stomach twists.  
But then you remember Jungwon's words.  
You deserve this.  
And so does Jake.  
You take a deep breath, then you press down on his name.  
The phone doesn't even reach the second ring before he picks up.  
"Y/N," Jake’s voice is rushed, a little breathless.  
"Hey," you say softly, suddenly unsure where to start. "Um, were you busy?"  
"No, no," he quickly responds. "Not at all. You could call me at 3AM, and I still would’ve picked up."  
"That's unhealthy, you know," your lips twitch as you lay back in your bed, taking a deep inhale. You missed this—you missed him.  
"For you? Worth it," you can hear the smile in his voice, but along with the slight tension just beneath it—the faintest tremor that tells you he's been waiting for this call, maybe agonizing over it just as much as you have.  
You swallow hard, gripping the phone tight, "Jake, about...our last call..."  
"Take your time," he says gently, though you don't miss the way his voice wavers ever so slightly. "I mean it, Y/N. There's no pressure."  
You exhale shakily, closing your eyes, “I’ve been thinking a lot, too. About you. About…us.” 
Jake stays silent, but you could hear the faint sound of him shifting, like he was bracing himself. 
You squeeze your eyes hard, as you let the words finally come out, "I like you too, Jake. A lot. So much, honestly. It's just..."  
"It's just...?" Jake's voice repeats softly, as if that's all he can manage to let out in the midst of his nervousness.  
You hold your breath, scared of what you're about to admit—to Jake and to yourself. 
"It's just...I'm scared," your voice comes out barely above a whisper, "I'm scared that this is too good to be true. That you're saying all of this because...I don't know—you're trying to move on...from the past, or because you're lonely on tour, or—" 
"Y/N,” Jake's voice cuts through firm, but gentle.  
"You're not…a rebound, or a distraction, or anything like that," he starts quietly, each word deliberate. "And this isn't about...Jenn, or me being lonely, or whatever else you think. This is about you."  
Your breath hitches as you take in his words and open your eyes, hoping that staring at the ceiling above you could somehow ground you.  
“You’re the one who makes me laugh when I’ve had the worst day,” Jake continues. “You’re the one I want to talk to, even when I’m running on zero sleep. You’re the one I think about when I’m on stage and wish I could just look into the crowd and see you there. It’s you, Y/N."  
His words are overwhelming, too much, and you're unsure how to even process them. Your throat tightens, and you can feel the subconscious tears prickling at the corners of your eyes without even realizing they were forming.  
"Are you sure, Jake?"  
"More than anything else, Y/N," he says immediately, like the words have been waiting on the tip of his tongue. "And I want to do this right, Y/N. No rushing, no expectations. Just...tell me what you need from me, and I'll do it. Whatever it takes, I'll do it."  
The sincerity in his voice makes your chest ache. You can picture him on the other side of the line, sitting in some unfamiliar hotel room, his brows probably furrowed in that adorable way they always do whenever he tries to find the right words.  
You bite your lip, a small laugh escaping despite the tears sliding down your cheeks, “You’re so cheesy, you know that?” 
Jake lets out a small laugh, immediately easing from the tension that hung in the air.  
"Only for you," he mumbles, his voice soft but steady.  
You sigh, the sound reaching Jake on the other side. There's a pause, a moment of mutual understanding in silence, just listening to the quiet, peaceful hum of each other's breathing.  
“Jake?” You say finally, your voice trembling. 
“Yeah?” 
“I think…” You take a deep breath, and you think your heart is about to break out of your chest. “I think I want to try too.” 
The silence on the other end was electric, and for a moment, you think maybe the call dropped. Then, you hear the unmistakable sound of Jake’s laugh—soft, relieved, and filled with so much warmth that it instantly makes your own heart feel lighter. 
“You're driving me crazy, Y/N,” he says, his voice almost breathless, but tinged with humor.  
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah,” he says, a smile clear in his tone.  
“I hope I am,” you quip, and it makes him chuckle, the sound warm and full of relief. “Guess I’m stuck with your cheesy lines now huh?” 
“Stuck with me?” Jake repeats, pretending to sound offended. “No way. I’m stuck with you, Y/N. And trust me, I’m not going anywhere.” 
His words are so simple, yet so full of promise, and it leaves you feeling a little breathless. 
“Good,” you whisper, your cheeks warm. “Because I don’t want you to.” 
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“Hi Jake,” your voice bright as you immediately pick up his call and see his face appear on the screen, his expression softening when he sees you. 
“Hey pretty,” he replies, without missing a beat, his voice laced with a soft fondness that never fails to make your stomach flip. 
You roll your eyes, failing miserably to hide the blush rising to your cheeks, “Oh, so now I’m pretty, huh?”
Jake smirks at your words, leaning closer to his phone, “Nah, you’ve always been pretty. Just didn’t have the guts to say it to your face before.”  
You groan, dramatically planting your face into your pillow as an attempt to bury the smile on your face, your voice muffled, “You’re gonna be the death of me, Jake.”
“Stop that, don’t hide. Let me see your face,” his tone dips somewhere between playful and pleading, and you give in, lifting your head just enough for him to catch a glimpse of your red cheeks. 
“Cute,” he says with a knowing grin, leaning back against the headboard of his bed. 
“Whatever,” you murmur, but the smile on your face remains. “How was your day today?” 
“Mmm, it was good,” Jake says, running a hand through his messy hair. “Busy, but good. I forget how loud the fans get each time. But it’s nice. Makes it feel worth it, you know?” 
“I’m glad,” your smile grows as you watch him speak, feeling nothing but proud of him. “You deserve all of it, Jake.” 
“Stop,” now he’s groaning, throwing a hand over his face to cover his shy expression. “You’re going to make me blush.” 
“Mm, looks like you already are, Jakey,” you shake your head, laughing softly. 
“Maybe a little,” he admits as he peeks at you through his fingers, his grin boyish and infectious, and you can’t help but laugh again. 
The call falls quiet for a moment, but it’s not awkward—just comfortable, like a shared breath. Jake shifts, turning on his stomach and propping his phone up against some pillows to make sure you can still see him. 
“I miss you,” he says suddenly, and there’s something raw in his tone, something unguarded that catches you off guard. 
Your heart stutters.
“Jake, I literally called you this morning,” you tease, your tone light and sweet. But still, you can’t resist, “I miss you too.”  
“You don’t sound convincing enough,” his eyes narrow at you, the pout forming on his lips quickly turning into a small smirk. “Say it like you mean it.” 
“Fine,” you huff, rolling your eyes. “I miss you so, so much Sim Jaeyun, that it’s physically painful and I might conbust on the spot if I don’t see you soon. Happy?” 
“Very,” he grins into the camera, making your heart beat faster. Ugh. "But please don't combust for me. Who else am I supposed to call every day?"  
"Oh, please, you'd survive," you shoot back, smirking. "I'm sure anyone else would be more than happy to fill the spot."  
Jake clicks his tongue, shaking his head dramatically. "Nope, no one could keep with you, Y/N. You're a handful."  
"Excuse me?" You scoff, mock offense all over your face. "You're calling me a handful? Jake, who's the one that texts me random song lyrics at 3AM and expects me to interpret their deep meaning like it's poetry?"  
"Okay, first of all, they are deep," he argues, his grin widening into something boyish and utterly unfair. "And second of all, I know you secretly love it."  
You let out a laugh as you roll onto your side, propping your phone against the pillow next to you.  
"Maybe I do," you admit with a shrug, trying to sound nonchalant despite the smile on your face. "Or maybe I don't. That's up to you to find out."  
Jake shakes his head, laughing softly, his eyes twinkling as they linger on your face. 
"You really are a handful, Y/N," his voice teases while his eyes remain on you through the screen, as if studying you, and it makes your stomach flip.  
You glance away, suddenly feeling shy again under his unwavering gaze, "Stop looking at me like that."  
"Like what?" His voice is innocent, his eyebrows lifting in feign obliviousness.  
"I don't know—like you're trying to memorize my face or something," you mutter, your cheeks burning.  
"Maybe I am," his voice dips, low and soft. "Honestly wouldn't complain if that's the last thing I ever got to remember."  
His words hit you square in the chest, and despite how ridiculously corny they are, they manage to take your breath away. You don't know if you'll ever get used to this newly discovered side of Jake—the one that speaks so candidly, so sweetly—like you're the only person in his universe.  
But honestly? You love it. You love how he makes you feel, how his words wrap around you perfectly like they were tailor made just for you. But as much as you love it, you fear it too.  
Because the more you fall into this feeling, the more you wonder if there's anything solid beneath it. Despite all the soft words shared and sweet nothings exchanged, at the end of the day, deep down inside you can't help but ask yourself if his words, if he, is even yours to begin with. 
"Jake..."  
"Hmm?" His voice is gentle now, the teasing edge in his voice fading.  
"You really mean it, don't you?" You ask, your voice quieter now, the question laced with your vulnerability. "You're serious about...this? About us?"  
"Of course I am," he answers without hesitation. His soft eyes stay trained on you as he sits up in his spot in bed, as if to show just how serious he is. He lets out an exhale, as if mentally encouraging himself to continue, "I know we're not...whatever this is, officially yet. But I do know that I like what we have."  
He brings his phone closer, a small smile on his face, his expression earnest, "And that I like you. A lot."  
You swallow hard, his words settling in your chest in the best way possible. Because despite everything—the doubts, the undefined boundaries—you can't deny the truth of how you feel.  
"Me too," you admit, your voice steady and honest. "I like what we have too. And I like you."  
You pause, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips as you feel the remainders of your walls crumbling down, "You make me happy, Jake. Like annoyingly happy."  
"Good. Because you make me happy too," His smile spreads wide, the kind that is contagious and could light up an entire room. "Annoyingly happy, if we're being specific."  
You roll your eyes again, though you're smiling just as much, "We really are insufferable, aren't we?"  
"Oh, completely," Jake nods, his tone playful. He's more relaxed, back to leaning against his headboard as he looks at you with a softened gaze. "We'll figure it out, Y/N. I promise. Whatever this is, or whatever it becomes, I'm not going anywhere. And honestly? I just can't wait to see you. Finally."  
"Me too," you perk up, your eyes sparkling with excitement as you bring your phone closer, "It feels like it's been forever. This tour feels so much longer than the other ones for some reason."  
"It does," Jake hums in agreement, his eyes thoughtful. "But you know what? I think It's because, this time...I actually have something waiting for me. Something—or someone—I want to come home to. And that makes every day feel so much longer."  
You think, at this point, you should check yourself into the emergency department for the sheer amount of times you thought your heart was going to pound out of your body from Jake's words alone.  
“You're ridiculous," you laugh, the sound bubbling out so naturally you couldn't hold it back even if you tried. "It's getting kind of out of hand how cheesy you are, Jake."  
"And yet," he fires back with a smirk, "you love it. Admit it. I've cracked the code."  
"Maybe I do," you tease, repeating your words from earlier as the corners of your mouth tug up into a smile you can't suppress. "But don't let it get to your head."  
"Too late," he grins. "It's already there."  
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Jake [2:15AM] : can I call you?   Y/N [2:16AM]: jake isnt it like 2AM for you?   Jake [2:16AM]: well…yea but I was thinking about you so… 
Your feet are kicking before you even realize, and before you can type up a response, your phone lights up with Jake's name and contact picture. 
“Hi,” you answer softly, trying not to let the giddy smile growing on your face take over. 
“Hey pretty,” he greets, voice warm and easy as he brings a hand through his messy hair. The lights in his room are off, and the dim glow of his phone screen casts a soft light over his features, making him look unfairly good for someone who should be fast asleep.  
“You have two seconds to give me a good reason why you’re here talking to me instead of getting a good night’s rest before your concert tomorrow,” your eyes narrow in mock disapproval as you give him a knowing look.  
Jake laughs lightly, “Hey! Okay, hear me out. I couldn’t sleep, so I did something.”  
You raise an eyebrow, “You did something? That sounds ominous, I’m scared.”  
“Yeah. For you,” he states plainly, leaving you even more confused for a second more before he continues. “I made you a playlist.”  
Your brain stalls at how simple he says it—so casual, as if not packed with so much meaning.  
“A playlist? You—wait, why?”  
Jake shrugs, “I don’t know—I guess I just wanted you to hear what I hear when I think about you. Which, by the way, is a lot. So..”  
You blink at the screen, your mouth slightly agape at the boy who's watching you with that lopsided grin that makes it practically impossible to function. You scramble to collect yourself, but the more you try, the worse it gets, and by now, you think he definitely took some secret class on how-to-make-Y/N-completely-flustered.  
And aced it.  
And of course, he notices—because Jake always notices.  
“You okay there?” His voice breaks you out of your overwhelming thoughts, his teasing tone laced with curiosity.  
“Define okay,” you mutter, rubbing a hand over your face in an attempt to cool down the warmth spreading like wildfire across your cheeks. “Because if it means not feeling like a complete fool over a guy who’s halfway across the world, then no, I’m absolutely not okay.”  
Jake lets out a low laugh, the sound affectionate as he leans closer to the camera, the light reflecting off his shining eyes, “If it helps, you’re not the only one losing your mind here.”  
“Oh yeah?” you arch an eyebrow, “What’s your excuse, Sim?”  
“My excuse?” He tilts his head with a small, exaggerated frown, pretending to think. “Hmm…let’s see…I’m hopelessly into this girl who somehow makes being teased fun, who makes me smile just by hearing my name come out her mouth, and who—“  
“Okay! Stop, stop, enough,” your voice strangled as you try to talk through the fit of giggles you couldn’t hold down. “You’re gonna kill me, Jake. Like, actually. I’m not strong enough for this.”  
Jake laughs at your flustered reaction, holding up a hand of surrender, “Fine, fine. But seriously, look.”  
You hear the sound of faint typing in the background before your phone buzzes with a text containing a link.  
“It’s called Songs That Remind Me of Y/N. Creative, right?”  
You open the link, and your thoughts are dazed at the sight of the endless playlist of songs. Some new to you, some you recognize—all of them feeling like little pieces of Jake's heart he's handing to you.  
"I think it's perfect," you murmur softly, scrolling through the titles, the warmth and appreciation for him now feeling almost too overwhelming.  
"Yeah?" Jake's eyes shine with a mixture of pride and hope as he watches your reaction.  
"Yeah," you repeat, switching your phone screen back to his face and giving him a genuine smile. "I love it. Thank you, Jake."  
Jake hums in response, the look on his eyes gentle as a beat of comfortable silence falls between you two.  
"Well, I should probably sleep for real now, but...listen to it when you miss me, okay? Because chances are, I'm probably doing the same."  
You pause, letting the weight of his words settle over you—vulnerable, yet undoubtedly honest. "Deal. I'll listen to it right now, then."  
"Good," his smile grows, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Because I am too. I miss you, too."  
You both linger for a moment, neither wanting to end the call just yet, simply enjoying each other's pure, raw presence.  
"Sweet dreams, Jake," you finally say, your voice gentle as you slowly let sleep take over. 
"Only if they’re about you," he quips, grinning.  
You roll your eyes, your chest feeling lighter, "Go to bed, Sim."  
"Yes, ma'am," he winks, and with one last fond look, he ends the call, leaving you smiling at your screen like the absolute fool he's turned you into.  
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"I can't believe you're finally coming back tomorrow," you murmur into the phone, your voice soft but buzzing with excitement as you take in the sight of Jake sprawled out on his bed. The dim glow of his phone highlights just enough of his face to remind you how impossibly cute he is—even with the pillow creases on his cheek.  
"I know," Jake sighs dramatically, flopping onto his side. His head sinks into the pillow, and you hear a soft fwump as he shifts to find a comfortable spot. "I just wish I wasn't landing so late. If I could, I'd come see you the second I land. Like, bags in hand, running to your door."  
"You'd probably trip and knock yourself out with your carry-on, Jake," you snort but then smile, the imagine of Jake rushing to get to you playing in your head.  
"First of all, I'm very athletic," Jake raises an eyebrow, pretending to be offended. "Second, that's exactly what would happen, but at least I'd be unconscious on your doorstep, which is still closer to you than I've been in months."  
Your heart does a little flip at the sound of the sincerity in his voice as you try to keep your tone casual, "It's okay, Jake. I'm not going anywhere. We'll see each other the next day? If you're free, maybe."  
Jake's face softens in that stupidly adorable way he always does when he knows you're just trying to play it cool. "Free or not, I'll find a way. Nothing's stopping me from seeing you, Y/N. Not jet lag, not my schedule, not even my manager if he tries to barricade me in the building."  
A giggle escapes you, partly at his sheer determination and partly to cover up the butterflies constantly causing the havoc in your stomach when it comes to him. And Jake, of course, looks all smug, like he knows exactly what he's doing to you. Typical Jake—sweet, determined, and impossibly endearing.  
But as much as his words make your cheeks warm, there's another reason why you're holding back your smile.  
Because, despite what Jake thinks, you're going to see him much sooner than he expects. All thanks to a message you got earlier from the group's manager:  
Y/N! Hope you’re doing well! We all miss you and can’t wait to see you soon! As you know, the boys are returning tomorrow late at night, but the staff and I want to plan a little surprise party at their apartment, they have no idea. The team’s already prepping everything. We’d love for you to come—it wouldn’t be the same without you. 10 PM! See you! 
You're practically vibrating with excitement, each passing minute on the call with Jake making it harder and harder to not just blurt it out and tell him you'll be seeing him in less than 24 hours. And, somehow, hearing his sleepy voice on the other side of the call, completely oblivious, just makes it even harder to contain yourself.  
Jake's brows furrow as he watches you try (and fail) to suppress your grin, "What's up with you? You're smiling so much, and I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything that funny."  
"Me?" You blink innocently, even though your heart skips a beat. But you shrug casually, masking your smile with a feigned yawn. "Nothing's up, you've just been acting too cute tonight. That's all."  
"You're lucky you're cute," Jake narrows his eyes at you, but even you can see through the dim lighting the red creeping across his face, "And that I'm tired. Or else I'd call you out for how you're gaslighting me right now."  
"Gaslighting?!" You sputter out, breaking out into laughter. "How am I gaslighting you for calling you cute?"  
"Because I know you're hiding something—" Jake replies, his pout audible in the way his voice drags. He yawns mid-sentence, the soft sound and the image of his eyes fluttering closed making your heart melt. "—and you're using my sleep-deprived state against me. It's not fair."  
"I'm not hiding anything!" You protest, your face one second away from cracking into a guilty smile. "Go to sleep—you're barely holding it together over there."  
"Like I'd ever fall asleep on you," he mutters, his voice heavy with drowsiness. "You're way too important for that."  
His words hit you like a train, and you have to physically restrain yourself from squealing, burying your face in your pillow before you let out a strangled, "Okay, enough sap for one night, Romeo. Go to bed."  
"Mmhm, fine, fine," Jake hums before he yawns again. "Goodnight, pretty. Dream sweet dreams, okay?"  
You let out a breath, losing the last remaining bits of your composure at this point—but in the best way possible, of course.  
"Goodnight, Jakey. I'll see you soon."  
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The day flies by in a whirlwind of anticipation and sheer chaos, the emotional hurricane brewing up inside you rooting from one source and one source only.  
Because ever since you woke up this morning, every step, every sight, every breath was haunted by one inescapable thought: 
Jake.  
The morning was a blur of pacing around your room like a Sims character who was glitching after being told to "Go Here", overthinking every possible scenario for how tonight—when you finally see Jake in person—could go down.  
Because, really—how exactly do you approach the boy you've been friends with for years, who you've fallen for, in a room filled with people, including yours and his closest friends, all while pretending your heart is trying its hardest to not control, alt, delete itself?  
Not exactly something you can Google.  
Like, do you hug him? Does he hug you? What if he doesn't hug you? (Unacceptable, you decide, before pacing faster.)  
By the time afternoon rolls around, you're about 78% sure you've developed three-and-a-half migraines from the sheer pressure of it all. Not to mention, the borderline illegal amount of caffeine coursing through your veins isn't helping—why did you think drinking four cups of coffee was a good idea? (You didn't. Your brain has officially gone rogue.)  
And now, here you are. The buzzing apartment of the boys is alive with the sounds of laughter, the crinkle of party streamers being hung up, and two staff members arguing about where to put the over-dramatically large "WELCOME HOME" banner. You, along with everyone else, await for the signal, passing time by keeping up small conversation with the friends and staff you've gotten to know over the years—all the while you desperately try to keep your nerves from causing a mental crash out right here and now.  
Eventually, one of the staff gets the alert that the group has landed and is minutes away, the energy immediately shifting, both in the apartment and mentally. You settle in place in the back of the crowd, near the door but not too near the door—because 1) you're 99.99% sure you're not emotionally stable enough to be front and center, and 2) the staff and camera crew are already hogging the entrance as if this was the world's greatest comeback (and spoiler alert—to you, it really is.)  
The lights dim, the chatter fades, and the room hums with anticipation. And meanwhile? Your heart won't. Stop. Pounding.  
Any second now.  
Your nerves bubble up even more than you thought is humanly healthy, and you're not sure if you're about to a) pass out, b) puke, c) or both.
Simultaneously.  
The sound of multiple footsteps echoes faintly in the hallway, followed with muffled voices—one of them the unmistakable sound of Jake's laughter. Your breath catches.  
And then the door swings open.  
"SURPRISE!"  
The boys freeze in the doorway, their suitcases still in hand, the looks of genuine, yet pleasant, confusion plastered on all their faces. Sunghoon's eyes dart to the snacks table, Jay looks like he's deciding whether to laugh or roll his eyes, Sunoo is on the verge of tears, and Jake—Jake looks beautifully, stupidly confused.  
Your eyes immediately find Jake's face, like some natural gravitational pull you can't fight, and suddenly it hits you: he's here. In front of you. No blurry video calls, no glitchy Wi-Fi interruptions—just Jake.  
It feels surreal, like you're living in a sugar-induced dream that you aren't sure of is real yet or not. Last time you saw him in person, he was merely just Jake, one of your best friends, your go-to guy for bad jokes and late-night rants about life. But now? Now he's Jake—the boy who's somehow become the main character of your life (and brain capacity) over the past five months.  
Every memory of your late-night calls, every teasing smile, every time his sweet, groggy voice promised he'd prove himself to you—it all comes rushing back. Like those cheesy montage scenes in a rom-com, except instead of a whimsical romantic song playing in the background, it's the sound of your brain, and heart, screaming WHAT NOW Y/N?! 
But then, finally, his eyes land on you.  
The moment your eyes meet, you think your lungs give up on life. Breathing? Never heard of it. It's like someone hit the pause button on the entire universe, and you're convinced that the only thing to ever exist is Jake looking at you with that soft, unreadable expression.  
But you manage half a second of calm—half a second—before that softness on his face disappears. Just as quickly as it appeared, it's replaced by...something else. Something you can't quite put your finger on. Something you've never thought could exist on his face. A flicker of...conflict? Hesitation? Like he's staring straight at you…but also from miles away at the same time.  
His jaw tightens slightly—so slightly only you would notice with how intently you're looking at him—and for a split second, his hands fidgets at his side before he quickly clasps it over the handle of his suitcase. And right as you process it, right as you're about to convince yourself it's just the million grams of caffeine rushing through your blood that's making you hallucinate and see things— 
He looks away.  
He looks away.  
He looks away. As if you're not even standing there, as if he didn't just short-circuit your entire brain. His attention shifts to the nearest staff member, greeting them with a quick nod, and suddenly he's smiling and laughing at something they're saying like nothing just happened.  
And just like that, the universe hits the play button again, and you're left standing there—staring, blinking, wondering if the last thirty seconds of your life was, indeed, a caffeine-induced hallucination after all. Surely. Right?  
Because Jake definitely didn't avoid you on purpose. Nope. Because that would be insane. Insane, you think to yourself, as the invisible angel on your shoulder continues to whisper into your ear the same sweet words Jake's been telling you the past five months about how much he cares for you, how much he likes you—remember all those times he said it?  
Right. Right. Of course, he does. But still, you stand there frozen, trying to ground yourself, even though your hands start fidgeting at your sides anyway. Great. Fantastic. Cool, cool, cool. This is fine. 
You mentally curse yourself for not being closer to the door after all, and then, you mentally curse every single person in this room for not magically gaining telepathic powers and knowing that you, personally, were trying to have a moment.  
It's fine. You'll find him again. He's just too preoccupied with all the staff members and people to greet. Busy Jake. Social Jake. You're just imagining things. Definitely.  
Trying to distract yourself, you glance around the apartment, everything suddenly feeling suffocating. Maybe a snack. Maybe a drink. Maybe a portal to another dimension. 
Shaking your head out of your spiraling thoughts, you bite the inside of your cheek to ground yourself and turn away from the crowd, quickly settling yourself near the beverage table, pouring yourself a cup of...whatever this is—your mind too cloudy to even bother looking at the sign on the table.
You don't know how much time passes, and frankly, you don't even know if you're fully conscious. Your mind is still living in the past, lingering in that moment where you locked eyes with Jake for the first time in five months, and despite all the overthinking you did this morning of all the possible scenarios that could happen—this was not one of them.  
You're about to pour yourself a second drink just to keep your thoughts busy when you feel a tap on your shoulder.  
"Y/N!"  
Before you can fully turn around, you're engulfed in a warm hug, the familiar scent of Jungwon's cologne immediately grounding you, "Oh god, I missed you. Took me forever to find you with all these people."  
"Jungwon!" You exclaim, a genuine smile lighting up your face despite the emotional tug-of-war in your chest, because, of course, leave it to your best friend to immediately ease your inner panic. You squeeze him back, playfully ruffling his hair as you pull away, "I can't believe they made you grow out your hair. Now you actually look older than me for once."  
He stares at you, blinking. "Y/N. I am older than you."  
"Literally by a week. We all know I'm mentally older," you deadpan, crossing your arms.  
"Okay, I take it back. I didn't miss you after all," he scoffs as you laugh, pulling him into another hug for good measure just to annoy him.  
"I'm so glad you guys are back," you say as Jungwon grabs the drink in your hand and takes a sip himself as he listens to you. "I was dying of boredom without you guys."  
Jungwon raises an eyebrow, "Uh-huh. Definitely didn't sound like boredom all those nights you called Jake at 2AM."  
You freeze. Oh. Great. The one topic you were trying to avoid (how you were going to avoid it—given you're at his literal apartment, with his literal group members, and literal staff members that all work for him—you're not sure. Avoidance was a doomed plan from the start, I fear).  
But before you could answer, Jungwon continues, "So...are you guys, like, a thing now? I know you guys were just talking this whole time, but now that we're back, are you guys gonna be in a relationship and all that stuff? Because if so, I need a heads-up. As much I love you both, I don't know if I can stand you two being all couple-y right in front of me—oh, and also—"  
"Jungwon." 
"—if he hurts you in any way, I swear to god I will not hesitate to—"  
"Jungwon!"  
He stops, wide-eyed, before flashing you a sheepish smile. "Sorry. But seriously, what's happening? You haven't given me any updates!"   
You open your mouth to respond, but the words get caught in your throat. Because if he had asked you yesterday—or even an hour ago—you would've been able to answer confidently. But now? After Jake's apparent Olympic-level avoidance of you? You're not so sure anymore.  
"I...I don't know," you mumble, the words barely audible. Jungwon tilts his head, leaning closer to catch them.  
"What do you mean, you don't know? You guys haven't talked about it?" His brows furrowing as he studies your face, clearly picking up on your hesitation in true best friend fashion.  
"I, uh, I haven't...seen him yet," you admit, hoping the crack in your voice doesn't reveal the real reason you haven't approached the boy in question. "Everyone's busy, and I didn't want to get in the way."  
Jungwon gives you a look like you just said the earth is flat.  
"Get in the way? Y/N, you're insane. This is the guy who's been counting down the days to see you. If anything, everyone else is in his way."  
You give him a helpless shrug, but Jungwon isn't having it. He grabs your shoulders and spins you around, pointing across the room to one of the other snack tables past the crowds of people.
"Look. He's right there. Alone. Perfectly free to talk to you. Go."  
Your eyes land on Jake, back facing you and Jungwon, casually scooping chips into a bowl. You hesitate, scanning his relaxed posture, and the knot in your stomach tightens. Because that's exactly the problem. He's perfectly free. And if he's so excited to see you, how come he hasn't spoken to you yet?  
But before you can voice your doubts, Jungwon gives you a not-so-gentle nudge forward, "Go talk to him before I carry you over there myself."  
And next thing you know, Jake's right there. In front of you. His back is to you still, his eyes scanning the various snacks lined on the table, completely unaware of the full-on mental breakdown occurring just behind him.  
This is your moment, you tell yourself, despite the endless alarms going off in your brain. Every single nerve in your body is on high alert, screaming at you to abort mission, abort! But before you can give in to your panic, your hand is already reaching out, lightly tapping his shoulder.  
"Jake!"  
Jake turns around, and for a moment—a fleeting, fragile moment—you catch it. The way his eyes widen slightly at the sight of you. The way his lips part as if they're about to break into that familiar smile you've missed for months. But just as quickly, similar to earlier, it vanishes, replaced by that flicker of hesitation, and it's enough to make your breath catch.  
"Y/N."  
Your name on his lips used to sound like a warm promise. Now?
Now it feels like an afterthought. 
His voice is calm, steady—too steady, stripped of every ounce of emotion, and not at all like someone who's been counting down the days to see you. He rubs the back of his neck, his gaze flickering to the crowd behind you before reluctantly meeting yours, "It's been so long."  
Your stomach sinks. That's all he had to say? You were completely wrong. You spent precisely 23 minutes of your morning debating if he was even going to give you a hug—but now? Screw the hug, he won't even give you a full sentence. Something's off, and your mind races to figure out what happened, as if you missed a major chapter of your own life.  
Trying to ignore the sharp pang of something lodging itself in your chest, you offer a small smile, hoping to break the tension.  
"Are you...okay? I thought...I don't know, I thought you'd be more excited to see me," the words spill out before you can stop them, and you want to crawl into a self-dug hole from how raw and vulnerable you feel.  
Jake shifts uncomfortably, glancing at the floor, then at you, "No, yeah, of course I am. I'm just...really tired. The flight, you know. And all this," he pauses to gesture at the environment around you two, "it's a lot."  
You stare at him in disbelief, waiting for him to crack—silently begging for some sign of the Jake you thought you knew. But all you get is a shrug.  
A shrug.  
Suddenly, his words feel like a punch to the gut, let alone the way he can't even fully look you in the eyes. In just those few seconds, the invisible angel on your shoulder—whose voice sounded just like Jake's—whispering those promises into your ears suddenly disappeared with no trace in sight, as if it was never there—as if it was never yours—in the first place. Every late-night call, every whispered promise, every shared laugh. 
As if they never belonged to you.  
You swallow hard, trying to keep the growing lump in your throat from choking you, hoping your emotional turmoil isn't blatantly obvious to the boy in front of you.  
"Right," you murmur, nodding as if his excuse makes perfect sense. But it doesn't. "That's...understandable."  
The silence that follows is suffocating. Not the comfortable kind of warm silence you two used to share, but the awkward, unbearable kind that makes you claw at your own skin and makes you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole right then and there.  
Jake shifts again, and for a moment, his eyes meet yours. There's something there—but before you can grasp it, a voice from the crowd calls his name.  
"I—I should go," he mutters quickly, stepping back. His voice is quiet, his tone almost apologetic, but his words feel like he's hammering the nails to your coffin. "I'll...see you later though, yeah?"  
He doesn't wait for an answer. He's gone before you can say anything, before you can process his words, and for the second time that night, he leaves you standing there with your heart in pieces and your thoughts in chaos.  
For a moment, you swear you're paralyzed. You can't move. Can't breathe. Your vision blurs as every doubt you'd buried for months comes rushing back, screaming in your face louder and crueler than ever. You've never felt smaller, more foolish.  
Your heart beats erratically now, fighting against the realization of the truth settling in your chest—a  heaviness so suffocating it threatens to take you under. The Jake who stood in front of you just now—guarded, distant, a stranger—was so unlike the boy who had made you laugh until your sides ached, who'd stayed up with you on countless late nights, sharing secrets no one else knew.  
The Jake who made promises.  
Your mind spirals. Maybe...maybe those promises were never meant to be kept. Maybe they were just words to fill the time.  
Maybe you were just someone to fill the time.  
Your breath starts to pick up and you're frantically scanning the room, desperate for an escape from your thoughts through any familiar face. Your eyes finally land on Ni-ki and Heeseung casually sitting on one of the couches, their carefree laughter a stark contrast to your inner implosion. You beeline to them, forcing a smile on your face as you plop down beside them.  
"Y/N!" Ni-ki grins the moment he spots you, scooting over to make room. "Where've you been hiding? Thought you ditched us for good."  
"I've been here,“ you give the boys a small smile, praying they don't notice the way your hands tremble as you sit down, “just...mingling."  
Heeseung raises an eyebrow at the faint crack in your voice, but doesn't push further, "Well, we all missed you. Pizza pig-out sesh and games tomorrow? You can tell us everything we've been missing out on."  
You laugh, trying to keep the conversation light, but it comes out shaky, your voice tight under the weight of your hidden emotions, "I think it's you guys who need to catch me up."  
Ni-ki tilts his head, narrowing his eyes at you, "Are you okay? You look...off. What—did someone spill punch on you? Lemme guess, was it Jake?"  
At his name, the knife in your stomach twists even deeper, and you look away, hoping they don't notice the way your face falls.  
But Heeseung notices. Of course. His gaze sharpens, the playful teasing in his expression replaced with a softened concern, "Y/N...what's going on?"  
"I'm fine," you reply a little too quickly, your voice a little too high. You plaster a smile on your face, turning back towards the two boys, concern written all over their faces. "Just tired. Long day."  
Neither of them look convinced, but before Heeseung can say anything else, Ni-ki nudges him and gestures towards something across the room.  
"Hey...isn't that—"  
You follow Ni-ki's gaze, and you immediately wish you didn't. 
Because just like that, your world crumbles.  
There she is—Jenn.  
You're not even wondering when she got here, how she got here, or even why she's here in the first place. No, not even.  
Because all that's occupying your mind right now is the way she's there, perched comfortably on Jake's lap on one of the couches in the distance, her arm draped casually over his shoulder.  
The way she's laughing freely at something he says, her hand lightly brushing against his as if it's second nature, her fingers briefly pushing a strand of hair away from his face.  
The way Jake doesn't even flinch, the way he doesn't pull away.  
The way he smiles at her.  
That same smile—the one you've spent weeks convincing yourself was yours—now feels like a cruel joke.  
And that does it. For the first time that night, despite all you endured, you shatter.  
You force yourself to look away, but it's too late. Your chest hollows out deeper and deeper with every passing second, until all you're left with is a final realization:  
Maybe you never really had him at all. He was never yours in the first place.  
Ni-ki and Heeseung exchange glances before looking at the expression on your face—all the color drained, as if you were merely just a body, paralyzed. Both of them open their mouths, but nothing comes out, clearly unsure of what to say, but you don't give them the chance. You're already standing, grabbing your bag at your side with trembling hands.  
"Y/N, wait—" Heeseung starts as both him and Ni-ki stand up with you, but you shake your head, his voice distant and muffled as if he's speaking to you underwater.  
"I need some air," you mumble, but you're sure neither of them hear you, your voice barely above a whisper.  
Before they can stop you, you're already weaving through the crowd, your vision blurring as you fight the overwhelming urge to break down. You stop at the door, your eyes quickly scanning the cluttered floor for your shoes. For a moment, you think you've made it—escaped the suffocating air and heartbreak clawing at your throat—but a mistake you didn't mean to make stills you.  
You glance over your shoulder, and there he is.  
Jake's eyes meet yours, and the world comes to a stop. His easy smile slips from his face and is immediately replaced by a flicker of panic, his brows drawing together as if he's just realized something, but you don't stick around to analyze it.  
Not when your heart is already in pieces on the floor.  
You quickly look the opposite way, fighting the sting of burning tears threatening to spill over as your fingers fumble desperately with the zipper of your coat when you hear a concerned voice from behind you.  
"Y/N?" Jungwon's familiar voice cuts through your haze, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder. "What—where are you going?"  
"Home," you whisper, avoiding his gaze as you finally manage to get your coat on, turning towards the door.  
Suddenly, Jungwon steps in front of you, a firm frown on his face, "Hey, hey, what's wrong? Talk to me—"  
"Jungwon, I need to go," you look up at him as your voice cracks for the nth time that night, feeling Jake's set of eyes on you still, "Please, Won."  
He hesitates, clearly confused but more worried over anything else, "Okay, but I'm driving you."  
You sigh, shaking your head, "No, it's fine—"  
"I'm driving you," Jungwon repeats, leaving no room for argument as he's already grabbing his coat and walking out the door.  
Not bothering to look behind you to see if Jake's still watching, you follow Jungwon out to the hallway, the chill of the air feeling like a fresh wave of emotions crashing over you all at once: embarrassment, anger, heartbreak.  
You're too caught up in your spinning thoughts to even notice the sound of frantic footsteps behind you until a voice cuts through the silence.  
"Y/N."  
His voice is quiet, almost drowned out by the muffled hum of music and laughter seeping from the party you should've escaped from a long time ago.  
But still, you hear it anyway—because of course you do. Because it's him. And no matter how much you wish you didn't, you'd silence the entire world just to hear that voice.  
And you hate it.  
You hate how your entire body freezes mid-step, you hate how every nerve within you comes alive at the sound of his voice, you hate how your heart stumbles, as if trying to root itself in the pain you've been trying so hard to outrun.  
You turn around slowly, against every ounce of logic telling you to keep walking. And when your eyes land on him—on the raw, desperate, almost broken look on his face—you hate yourself even more.  
Because even now, even after everything, your heart still sinks at the sight. And you hate how you give him the power to break you with just one look.  
“Can we talk?” Jake asks, his voice low and unsteady as he takes a small step towards you.  
From beside you, Jungwon hesitates, his gaze flickering between you and Jake. After a beat, he nods, "I'll get the car. Wait here."  
He spares Jake a final look of warning before nudging you for comfort and stepping into the elevator.  
The elevator doors close, leaving you and Jake alone in the hallway, the air thick with unspoken words and emotions.  
You swallow hard, your throat tight, but you steel yourself, "What do you want, Jake?"  
You shift your weight and instinctively cross your arms, a defensive barrier between you and the boy you spent too long letting into your heart. His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the vulnerability in them makes your resolve falter. 
He takes a hesitant step towards you before exhaling shakily, running a hand through his hair.  
“I—I messed up tonight. I didn’t mean to...," he trails off, his words fumbling, his eyes searching yours in desperation, his heart breaking at the way your tears are a second away from falling over. 
"...to completely ignore me all night? Make me feel like nothing?" You finish for him, your quiet voice breaking despite your attempt to stay composed.  
"No. God, no. You're not nothing," he says quickly, his voice faltering on the last word. "Y/N, you matter so much to me."  
“Well it definitely didn't feel that way,” your voice is barely audible, but you finally look up at him, the hurt finally bubbling to the surface. “After everything you said—promised, everything we talked about…” 
"I know, I just—" he hesitates, his voice barely above a whisper. He takes a tentative step closer, his movements slow and careful, like he's afraid you'll break if he gets too close. "I was nervous." 
"It’s been so long, and I didn’t know what to say, how to act. I wanted to get it right—to make it perfect—but instead, I just—" he stops, dragging another frustrated hand through his hair. His eyebrows knit together in that familiar way that once made your heart flutter, but now only adds to the ache in your chest. 
You let out a hollow laugh, the bitter sound foreign even to your own ears, “Well, congratulations, Jake. You managed to mess it up anyway.” 
“Please,” he looks devastated, his hands trembling at his sides. “Y/N, please don’t think I don’t care about you. I do. More than you know. I just—I don't know how to do this. I panicked and I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear."  
"Then why was...," you look at him, your eyes still stinging from all the unshed tears as you take a shaky breath, “...why was she all over you tonight? Why didn’t you stop her?” 
He falters, his shoulders slumping under the weight of your question, “It wasn’t what it looked like. I didn’t—I couldn’t—” 
“You couldn’t,” you echo, the words spilling out in a rush now, each one cutting him deeper. “I should've known. Let me guess, she wants to get back together, right?"  
Jake's silence is deafening, and it immediately answers your question. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. The way he looks at you—eyes wide and filled with regret, lips trembling as if searching for the right words—confirms everything you were afraid of. 
You squeeze your eyes shut, a shaky breath escaping your lips—a sound caught somewhere between a scoff and a choked sob. No matter how hard you try, the wall holding back your emotions cracks under the weight of it all. The doubts you’ve tried so hard to bury suddenly resurface, crashing over you like waves, each one carrying the sting of every insecurity, every fear you’ve ever had about this moment. Your chest feels tight, your heart splintering under the realization that everything you were afraid of might be true. 
"Jake, I can't do this," you whisper, shaking your head. "I can't be the person you lean on while you try to figure out what you want."  
"No, no—Y/N, I do know what I want," he pleads, his voice cracking as he tries to step closer. "And it’s you. Always been you, Y/N. Everything I said—I meant it."  
His words hang heavy in the air, the faint echo of the party music filtering through the cracks in the door and into the quiet hallway. You look away, refusing to let him see the way your tears finally spill over.  
"You promised," you let out softly and slowly, through your sniffles. “You promised you wouldn't hurt me. You said you'd prove that I could trust you, that I didn't have to be scared. You knew I was worried, Jake. And you...you hurt me anyways."  
"And I swear I meant every word I said. I still do," Jake says, his voice desperate as he shakes his head. He steps even closer, his hand reaching out and brushing against yours, but you pull back before he can close the distance. "You have to believe me. Please, Y/N. You're the only one."  
You shake your head again, the tears now freely rushing down your cheeks despite your best efforts, "I—I don't know if I can believe that anymore, Jake. I want to, I really, really do. But tonight..."  
Jake’s face falls, the weight of your pain crashing into him all at once. His lips tremble as he struggles to hold himself together, his eyes turning glassy themselves. The sight of you—broken, because of him—cuts deeper than he thought was humanly ever possible. His voice is barely above a whisper, raw and pleading, “Y/N, I’m so sorry. I—God, please. Please give me a chance.” 
You look at him—at the boy who became your safe space these past few months—and all you feel is the ache in your heart.  
"I can't do this right now, Jake," you finally let out through your broken voice as you take a step back. "I think I just need space."  
The words hang in the air like a death sentence. His breath hitches as if your words physically hit him in the face, "Y/N..." 
Your phone suddenly buzzes, a text from Jungwon letting you know he's outside. You glance down at it, then back at Jake. For a moment, you hesitate, your heart screaming at you to stay—to give him the chance he's yearning for. But your brain knows better. 
"I have to go," you murmur softly, as you take a final step back, turning away before more tears threaten to spill all over again. You force yourself to keep walking, fighting the overwhelming urge to look back—to let him pull you into his arms, where you wished so desperately you belonged.  
Frozen, Jake watches helplessly as you walk away, his chest tightening with every step you take. Everything feels like it's caving in, regret clawing at him the more he lets you walk further away. He opens his mouth to say something—anything—but the words fail him, silenced by the weight of his own mistakes.  
To Jake, the sounds of the party are now far in the distance, drowned out by the pounding in this ears. Instead, the hallway falls into a haunting silence, broken only by the faint echo of your retreating steps—a cruel reminder of what he's just let slip away.  
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The car ride starts in complete silence, the only sound between you and Jungwon the soft hum of his engine and the faint sound of whatever playlist he was playing in the background. You stare out the window, watching the city lights blur together, your coat clutched tightly under your grasp as if it's the only thing keeping you sane.  
Jungwon glances at you out the corner of his eye, his hands steady on the steering wheel. He doesn't say anything at first, but you know him well enough to sense the storm brewing in his head.  
"Okay," he finally says, as if on cue, breaking the silence. "Spill."  
You don't respond, your eyes still fixed on the surrounding city breezing by you, as if the passing view could somehow erase the memory of him. Your fingers dig further into the fabric of your coat, your knuckles going numb.  
Jungwon gives you a few more moments of silence, but when you don't make any sign of responding, he speaks up again. 
"Y/N," his voice softens, but the edge of his concern cuts through. "Don't do that thing where you shut people out. Especially me, you know I hate that."  
"I'm not—" you start, but your voice wavers, and the lie dies on the tip of your tongue.  
“You are," he exhales sharply from beside you, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. "Look, you don't have to tell me everything, but don't pretend you're fine when you're clearly not."  
The words sit heavy in the air as you swallow hard, your throat burning as you finally whisper, "It's stupid, Jungwon."  
He doesn't take his eyes off the road, but his tone is firm, "I'm sure if it's got you looking like this, it's not stupid."  
You want to argue, to tell him to just let it go, but the hurt pressing down on your chest is too much. The ache in your body threatens to take over again, and you hate it. You hate how the tears form again, how you can still see Jake looking at you like that, like you were breaking right in front of him and he didn't know how to stop it.  
Jungwon waits. He doesn't push, because he knows you. He knows you're just hurting, struggling to grasp your overwhelming emotions, so he gives you the time you need. But his quiet patience is unbearable, like he's peeling back every layer of your resolve just by being there, and eventually, you give in.  
"It's Jake," you finally choke out, the name tumbling from your lips like a curse.  
Jungwon doesn't respond immediately, but you can feel the shift in his demeanor. His jaw tightens, and his fingers flex against the wheel, "I figured as much honestly, after what I saw in the hallway, but what exactly happened, Y/N?"  
You shake your head, your voice shaky, "It doesn't matter. I—I just feel so stupid, Won. Like, how could I think..." 
You trail off, biting the inside of your cheek hard enough to draw blood. Jungwon gives you a softened glance, signaling you to continue whenever you're ready to.  
You take a deep breath before you speak up again, "How could I ever think I was good enough for him, you know?"  
There's a silence that follows after your words and you hear Jungwon take in a deep inhale.  
"This isn't on you, Y/N. This has nothing to do with whether you're enough or not," Jungwon's voice is steady, but there's a firm edge to it now. "Look, I don't want to overstep or anything...and I definitely don't want to vouch for him—especially right now but...are you sure he's not just freaking out?"  
You tilt your head over at the boy next to you, "Freaking out about what?"  
"You," Jungwon says simply like it's the most obvious thing in the world.  
"That doesn't make any sense," you start shaking your head. "Why would he—"  
"Because you're you," Jungwon interrupts, his tone matter-of-fact as he keeps his eyes trained on the road in front of him. "And Jake's a complete idiot, but even idiots get scared when they care about someone as much as he clearly cares about you."  
You blink, Jungwon's words sinking into all the cracks formed within you, "You really think he cares about me that much?"  
“Are you kidding?” Jungwon scoffs, his expression a mix of disbelief and exasperation. “Y/N, the guy looks at you like you hung his moon and stars. Trust me, I’ve seen it.” 
And you don't know what comes over you, but Jungwon's words hit you like a punch to the gut, and suddenly, the tears you've been holding back come rushing forward, hot and relentless. You cover your face with your hands, your body shaking as the sobs you've been swallowing all night finally make their way out.  
Jungwon quickly looks over at you and, without hesitation, glances over his shoulder to pull over to the side of the road, the soft clicking of the hazard lights mixing in with your cries. When he finally puts the car in park, he doesn't say anything and just leans back in his seat, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder—close enough to remind you he's there, but not too much to smother you.  
"I'm sorry," you manage to gasp out between sobs, your hands going up to wipe your face as all the overwhelming emotions finally take over you.  
"Don't," Jungwon says firmly, "Don't apologize for feeling like this."  
You take a shaky breath, trying to pull yourself together as your sobs eventually start to slow down, "I just don't understand. If he cares so much, why does this hurt so bad?"  
"I don't think it's about how much he cares," Jungwon sighs, as if carrying your pain alongside you. "Sometimes...sometimes people care so much that they don't know what to do with it. They panic. They overthink. And they mess up in the worst ways because they don't know how to handle what they're feeling."  
You look up at him, your face still wet with tears, "So you're saying it's an excuse."  
"No," Jungwon replies, quickly shaking his head fervently. "Definitely not an excuse. Jake screwed up, Y/N. Big time. And it's 100% on him to fix that, not you. But—"  
He pauses and thinks for a second, his words deliberate, "—it doesn't mean his feelings aren't real. Or that he doesn't care about you."  
You look away, glancing down at your hands in your lap, fiddling with the hem of your coat as you take in Jungwon's words.  
"It's just feels like...like I'm the only one who got hurt here, Won. Like I'm the only one who..," you trail off, unable to form your thoughts into a coherent sentence, but leave it up to Jungwon to always fully understand you.  
"You're not the only one," he says softly. "He's hurting too, Y/N. Maybe not in the same way, and maybe he doesn't deserve any sympathy, but I can see it. I've seen it. Jake...Jake isn't Jake without you. And honestly? That idiot is probably tearing himself apart right now."  
Your lips part, but the words don't find you. Instead, you let the weight of Jungwon's words sink in, unsure what to do with how true they may be.  
"You don't have to forgive him right now," Jungwon adds after a moment. "Hell, you don't even have to forgive him at all. Honestly, that might satisfy me just a bit. But maybe...maybe you owe it to yourself to hear him out. Not for him, but for you."  
You turn to Jungwon, your lips forming into the smallest pout, "But what if it just makes everything worse?"  
He gives you a faint, grounding smile, equal parts reassuring and honest.  
"Then you walk away knowing you did everything you could—for yourself. And if it does come to that," he shrugs lightly, "we'll figure it out together."  
You're quiet for a long moment, the thought of walking away from Jake and everything he means to you terrifying you…but you know Jungwon's right. You owe yourself the chance to try—even if the unknown outcome fails you.  
With a shaky breath, you nod, brushing away the last of your tears, "Thanks, Jungwon."  
"You're welcome," Jungwon hums in acknowledgement before his lips curve into a small grin, the atmosphere lightening slightly, "but, uh, could you at least use the tissues in the glove compartment before my seats turn into a snot rag?"  
You manage to let out a small scoff of disbelief as you roll your watery eyes, "You're the worst."  
"Nah," Jungwon replies with a cheeky grin as he shifts the car back into drive, but not before he reaches over to ruffle your hair playfully. "C'mon. Let's get you home."  
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The knocking at Jungwon’s door comes at the worst possible moment. 
He’s halfway through organizing his desk—something he only attempts when he’s too frustrated to sit still—and the last thing he expects to see when he swings the door open is Jake, standing there looking like he hasn’t slept a millisecond all night. 
Jungwon makes no sign of saying anything or making a move, just staring at the older boy in question. Jakes shifts uncomfortably, running a hand through his messy hair, not used to seeing Jungwon in this sour, expressionless mood.  
"Hey," Jake finally says, his voice hesitant.  
“What do you want?” Jungwon deadpans, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed tightly over his chest. He knows he sounds harsh, but, frankly, he doesn’t care.  
Jake falters for a moment, his gaze dropping to the ground, "I...I need your help."  
Jungwon's eyes narrow, "With what, exactly?"  
He knows what, but he's not letting Jake off that easily. Not after last night.  
"With Y/N," your name hangs in the air between them as Jake's voice cracks, and Jungwon clenches his jaw before he lets out a frustrated sigh.  
"I don't think you're in any position to be asking me for help right now."  
"I know," Jake says quickly, his hands raising in surrender. "I know, okay? I screwed up big time. I—God, I don't even know where to start, Jungwon. I just...I don't want to make things worse."  
Jungwon lets out a bitter, humorless laugh, stepping back and motioning his head to let Jake enter his room, "You've already got a good head start on that, I see."  
Jake steps inside, awkwardly hovering near the door as Jungwon moves to sit on the edge of his own bed. He doesn't offer Jake a seat, and Jake doesn't ask for one.  
"She cried, you know," Jungwon says after a few moments of silence, his voice stone cold. "I had to pull over because she couldn't even hold it together long enough for me to get her home. I've known her my entire life, and I don't think I've ever seen her cry that hard, Jake."  
Jake flinches, the words physically hurting him, "I didn't mean to—"  
"Yeah, I know," the younger boy cuts him off, his voice sharp, his anger rising on behalf of you. "You didn't mean to hurt her. But you did. And now you're asking me to help you fix it like it's that easy."  
"It's not easy," Jake mutters quietly, his hands fumbling with the edge of his hoodie. "Nothing about this...none of it is easy. But I know I messed up, and I—I can't just leave things like this, I can't lose her, Jungwon. I care about her too much."  
Jungwon deadpans at his friend, fighting back the urge to scoff in his face, "If you cared about her, you wouldn't have let her walk out of that party looking like her entire world was falling apart."  
Jake looks up, his eyes red-rimmed and filled with something Jungwon can't quite name...desperation, maybe. Or guilt. Or both.  
"I didn't know what to do," Jake finally admits, his voice still barely above a whisper, as if admitting to himself for the first time, too. "I saw her, and she looked so...broken. And I—I panicked, I didn't know what to do, and by the time I realized, she was gone."  
Jungwon leans back, groaning as he runs a hand over his face. The anger bubbling within him hasn't fully faded, but he knows there's something else now—something softer, something that makes it harder to keep his protective guard for you up.  
Because he knows Jake isn't lying.  
"You don't get to half-ass this, Jake," Jungwon finally says after he thinks to himself. "She's not some random girl you're trying to impress, she isn't Jenn. This is Y/N. If you want to fix things, you have to be ready to own up to everything. No excuses, no backing out. She deserves that much."  
Jake nods quickly, his eyes wide and hopeful at Jungwon's slight change in demeanor, “I will. I swear, I will.” 
"And don't think she's going to forgive you right away," Jungwon adds. "She's hurt. You have to give her time. This isn't about what you want—it's about what she needs."  
Jake swallows hard, nodding again, “I just want to talk to her. To explain. To tell her I’m sorry and—”  
His voice cracks, and he looks down, his hands trembling slightly. Jungwon lets out a sigh, his mixed feelings turning more into something closer to pity. Because as much as he wants to stay mad for your sake, he's known Jake long enough to know that he's a good guy—and that his heart is in the right place.  
But even more than that, he knows you. And he knows how much Jake means to you, even if you won't admit it, especially not now more than ever.  
"You're actually an idiot," Jungwon says after a few beats, his voice carrying a lighter tone now. "But for some godforsaken reason, knowing her, I think she might actually miss you."  
Jake looks up from his hands, his eyes searching Jungwon's face for any flicker of doubt, "You really think so?"  
Jungwon shrugs, standing up and moving towards his door, "I think you've got a lot of work to do if you want to earn her trust back. But...I think you still have a chance."  
Jake doesn't say anything as he follows Jungwon to the door, but the look on his face says enough—there's a new slight look of hope. It's small, but he's clutching onto it like it’s his lifeline.  
“You know," Jungwon says when he reaches the doorway. "Y/N’s not the type to let people in easily. She puts up walls—but with you…she let them down. You’re special to her, Jake, even if she doesn’t say it. Don’t throw that away. For her sake, and yours.” 
“I won’t,” Jake promises, his voice steady now. “Thank you, Jungwon.” 
Jungwon nods at the older boy before giving him a faint smile, "And just so you know, I defended you yesterday. So don't prove me wrong or I'm actually going to deck you."  
Jake lets out a weak laugh as he hangs outside Jungwon's door, "Noted. I promise I won't let her down again."  
Jungwon doesn’t respond, just closes the door with a soft click, and hopes—for all their sakes—that Jake means it.  
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Jake [5:12PM]: hi Y/N   Jake [5:12PM]: i know I'm the last person you want to hear from right now. and i don’t blame you at all   Jake [5:13PM]: but i cant just stay silent and let this sit between us, and i value you too much to not respect you needing space and just show up at your door  Jake [5:14PM]: even though it’s killing me to stay away  Jake [5:14PM]: after you left the party last night, i went back inside. i told jenn that whatever we had in the past is exactly that, the past. and i swear to you, Y/N, there’s nothing between us. there hasn’t been for a long time. and it’s my fault for making it seem otherwise.   Jake [5:15PM]: and as for how i acted…i don’t even know where to start. i fucked up extremely. nothing will excuse my actions and i don’t expect you to forgive me. but i need to apologize properly, you deserve that much.   Jake [5:17PM]: please let me see you, Y/N. i don’t deserve it, and i don’t deserve you. but you mean everything to me, and i hate that i hurt you. and i promise, if you let me, i’ll do everything to make it up to you.  
You stare at the phone in your hand, the messages feeling like salt to an open wound. The words on the screen begin to blur together as tears prick your eyes, spilling over before you even realize it. You don't bother wiping them away—the sting in your chest too raw, too heavy. Each word feels like Jake is standing right there in front of you, his voice soft and broken, tangled with regret.  
You tell yourself to stop reading. You've already gone through the same messages at least a hundred times in the past ten minutes, overanalyzing each syllable as if they hold the answers to all of your questions.  
And yet, you can't stop.  
You want to be angry. You are angry. Or, at least, you think. Because beneath the flame of your anger that's already threatening to die out? There's an ache you can't ignore—a small, stubborn part of you that refuses to let go to the sincerity in his words, clinging onto the hope that he's telling you the truth.  
You mean everything to me, and I hate that I hurt you. I promise, if you let me, I'll do everything to make it up to you.  
The ache twists harder, curling into doubt. What if he means it? What if he's telling the truth?  
But of course, the fear rises just as quickly. Because what if he's not? What if you let him back in, and it all falls apart again? What if you let yourself believe in him, giving him the second chance he's asking for, only to have your heart shattered worse than before?  
And then, there's Jungwon's voice, soft but steady, cutting through the chaos brewing in your mind: "Even idiots get scared when they care about someone as much as he clearly cares about you."  
Your breath catches.  
Because that's the worst part. Knowing that maybe—just maybe—Jake really does care. Knowing that maybe he's telling the truth—and you're the one too afraid to take the risk, ready to build up the walls Jake's managed to get through.  
Your phone screen suddenly dims, pulling you out of your thoughts and back into the moment. You blink rapidly, wiping at your face, your mind a mess of emotions you can't untangle or describe.  
Fear. Hope. Doubt. 
And something else—something you're afraid to admit, but you know is unmistakably real.  
And it's stronger than the fear churning in your chest—it's something that's pulling you forward.  
Your heart pounds almost out of your rib cage as you let out a shaky breath, the weight on your shoulders pressing harder and harder with every second you hesitate. The ache doesn't let up, but neither does your hope.  
So you stop thinking altogether, letting your heart take control instead.  
You shut your eyes, as if bracing yourself for a crash, take a deep breath, unlock your phone, and let your fingers fly across the screen, each word feeling like a leap off a cliff.  
You hit send.  
Y/N [5:30PM]: hi jake  Y/N [5:30PM]: you can come over 
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The soft knock at your door startles you, even though you know it’s coming.  
“Y/N?” 
His voice. Jake’s voice.  
Your heart clenches painfully, a conflicting mix of longing and hurt washing over you all at once. It hasn't even been a full day since the party, but the weight of his absence has already hollowed you out, leaving a hole you can't ignore. You know he's the one who caused it—that the cracks in your heart are his doing—but at the same time, the stubborn part of you whispers that he's also the only one who can mend them.  
You make your way to the door, your movements hesitant as you crack it open, peek out, and...there he is.  
"Hi," Jake says softly.  
He's a mess. A beautiful, saddened mess—his hair messy, like he's been running his hands through it all day, his eyes rimmed with the kind of exhaustion that isn't just physical. One hand is buried deep in his jacket, and in the other— 
"Flowers?" You ask, raising a brow in surprise.  
Jake's ears turn red. "Yeah. Uh, I didn't know if you had a favorite, so I got—"  
You open the door wider, revealing the full bouquet—daisies, tulips, roses, all wrapped together in crinkled tissue paper.  
"—a little bit of everything," he finishes awkwardly, his voice trailing off, pausing for a second before holding them out to you with a sheepish smile.  
Your lips twitch subconsciously, despite everything.  
"Jake, you're literally allergic."  
His mouth opens, then closes, the redness from his ears now spreading to his cheeks.  
"Well, yeah, but—," Jake mumbles, shifting on his feet. "—not, like, deadly or anything dramatic like that."  
He pauses, his voice dropping into something softer, more vulnerable, "I just wanted you to have them. That's all."  
You feel your insides tighten, the sincerity in his voice getting to you. For a moment, all you can manage to do is stare at him—at the way his eyes are silently pleading, wide and unsure.  
You hesitate for a second, then step back and open the door wider.  
"Thank you," you say quietly, your fingers brushing against his as you take the bouquet, sending a flicker of warmth through you. "Come in."  
Jake hesitates, his eyes searching yours like he's not sure if he's actually allowed to. When you turn away and walk towards your kitchen, he finally steps inside, kicking off his shoes quickly and hovering by the door like he doesn't know what to expect next.  
You set the flowers down on the counter, adjusting them carefully before turning back to him. He's still standing there, stiff and uncertain, the distance between you feeling larger than ever before.  
"So..." You say, crossing your arms tightly across yourself, shifting your weight as a way to ground yourself—though the lump in your throat makes it feel impossible.  
Jake exhales shakily, his hands fidgeting by his sides and gaze darting to the floor before finally landing on you, "I came to apologize. Properly."  
You blink at him, expression unreadable, "You already said sorry."  
Your voice comes out sharper than intended, surprising even yourself, but the words leave before you can stop them. Jake flinches, just slightly, but he nods, knowing he deserved that. 
"Not like I should have," he says, stepping closer, his voice low and careful, like he's afraid you'll run out of your own apartment. "I know I messed up. I hurt you, and I hate that I did. I hate that I made you feel like you weren't enough or that someone else could ever compare to you, Y/N."  
Your arms tighten around yourself as if the words might knock the breath out of you as look away, unsure if you can meet the rawness in his eyes.  
"Last night," Jake continues, his eyes filling with guilt, "I didn't handle last night right. And not just how I handled Jenn, but I let my own insecurities and stupid fears of being perfect for you get in the way. I let it happen and mess everything up. I let you think that you didn't matter to me, and I will never forgive myself, Y/N."  
His words hang in the air, heavy yet sincere, and for a moment, all you can do is stare at him as you process his words slowly.  
"And I don't expect you to forgive me either, Y/N," Jake's voice wavers before he continues, "but I need you to know that I'm so, so sorry. No excuses. For all of it—for making you feel like anything less than everything, for making you feel like you weren't my first choice. Because you are. You're my only, Y/N." 
His words hit you with a force that crashes over the walls you tried so desperately to build. They're overwhelming yet tender, like rediscovering a piece of yourself you hadn't even realized you lost. And you want to let them comfort you, you do. But the pain from last night lingers deep down, reminding you of why you built those walls in the first place.  
For a moment, the silence stretches on longer than you intend, the weight of his words settling in the air between you. Jake doesn't look away though—his gaze unwavering, vulnerable, and raw.  
As though he's laid himself bare before you, giving you the power to either accept or shatter him completely.  
When you finally find your voice, it trembles despite your best efforts, "Jake...I don't know if I can just forget what happened."  
"I'm not asking you to forget," he says quickly, taking another step closer until there's only a few feet left between you. "I just want the chance to fix us. I can't lose you like this, Y/N."  
Your breath catches at the proximity, his presence pulling you in like gravity. The pain from last night tries to claw its way back into your heart—sharp and bitter—but his warmth reminds you of something else that refuses to be ignored.  
That flicker of hope that's demanding your attention, screaming at you to just let him in—not just for his sake, but for you. 
You take a deep breath, finally meeting his gaze. "Jake, I don't need you to...to be this perfect person. I don't need you to prove anything to me."  
You pause, pushing past the lump in your throat, "Because since the beginning, I always believed you. And...I think I still do. Even after last night, I still believe you, Jake. No matter how hard I try to."  
Jake lets out a breath he thinks he's been holding in for hours, "Really?"  
"Yeah," you nod slowly, as if reassuring yourself as much as him. "But I don't need any of your promises or proof or any of that. I just...I just need you as you."  
His eyes soften at you as he nods so quickly it's almost desperate.   
"And I need you to be honest with me, Jake," you continue before he can speak. "If we do this, I need to know I can trust you. Because I don't know if I can do this...this waiting game anymore."  
"You can," he says immediately, closing the distance between you two, making your breath hitch. You can see the way his hands are trembling, the slight quiver in his lips. "You can trust me. No more hesitation. I'm all in, Y/N. This is it for me, you're it."   
You search his face for any sign of doubt, any speck of hesitation. But all you find is his sincerity—so hopeful and so real—the kind that makes you want to let him in fully and let your walls crumble all over again.  
So you do.  
"Okay," you say softly, almost as if you're testing the word.  
Jake's eyes widen, the relief and hope flooding his features. Slowly, as if asking for permission, he reaches out, his fingers brushing against yours tentatively.  
"Okay?" He whispers, his voice barely audible to you as his eyes flicker between your hands and your face.  
You nod, your own hand turning over so your fingers curl around his in an instinctive gesture that feels so natural it makes you want to scream. The warmth of his touch feels like the first real comfort you've felt in forever, and it's enough to make your resolve slip.  
"But," you add softly, your eyes not leaving the way his hand wraps around yours so perfectly, "this doesn't mean everything's fine. We need to talk. We need to figure out where we stand, and where we go from there."  
Jake nods again, his grip on your hand tightening slightly, "We will. Whatever it takes, Y/N, I'll do it. I need you to know how much you mean to me and I'll never stop trying to show you that."  
You let out a shaky breath as you take in his words, finally looking up from your intertwined hands to meet his eyes, your own slowly filling with the tears you've been holding back. 
"You really hurt me, Jake," you say quietly, your voice breaking from the sheer weight of your vulnerability being laid bare.  
Jake's face crumbles instantly, guilt etched into every line of his expression. Without hesitation, his free hand comes up to gently cup your cheek, his thumb light brushing away the tears that fall, as if he's afraid you might pull away.  
Your eyes flutter closed at the warmth of his hand, and despite the emotions raging inside you, you let yourself lean into him. It feels both reckless, yet inevitable, like free-falling and trusting—knowing—he'll catch you.  
"I know," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion he can't swallow down. "And I'll spend as long as it takes to deserve you, Y/N. I'll never make you feel like that again."  
You nod weakly, and before you can think too much, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into the safety of his chest, his chin moving to rest on top of your head as his warmth envelops you completely.  
And for the first time in a long time, you let yourself break, burying your face into his chest as the tears flow freely, the weight of everything finally breaking free as you let yourself melt into his tight embrace.  
It's not perfect. It's not a fix-all.  
But as Jake holds you close, whispering quiet reassurances into your hair, you know it's a start.  
And a start is all you need.  
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
epilogue:
“Hi, pretty.”  
“Hi, Jake.”
On the other end of the call, Jake lets out a playful scoff. Even with the slight lag, you can see his lips twitch into that familiar pout—the one that still gives you butterflies, no matter how many times you've see it now, even a year later.
“After all we’ve been through, you still won’t give me a cute pet name?” 
You roll your eyes, biting back a grin, “What do you want me to say? Hi, my handsome, perfect, kindest, funniest, boyfriend in the whole wide world?”  
Jake leans closer to the camera, his expression completely serious as if you should already know his answer, "...Yes." 
Giggles burst out of you, shaking your head at his antics. “You’re too cute to be doing all that, Jake. Pick a struggle.” 
He clutches his chest dramatically, “You know, what? You’re my struggle—I fly across time zones, run on three hours of sleep, and you still won’t give me a crumb of your affection?” 
“You’re exhausting.” 
“And yet…,” Jake trails off with a teasing smirk, his voice dropping into that playful, yet low lilt that still makes your stomach flip to this day. "Here you are, calling me at 1AM in the morning.”  
Your cheeks flush as you glance away from the screen, trying to ignore the way his teasing gaze makes you feel, "Don’t' get confused, it's not like I wanted to or anything. I just figured someone should remind you to go to bed or else you'll look like a zombie tomorrow at the fanmeet."  
Jake laughs softly, the sound grounding you in a certain way only he ever can. "You're so thoughtful, babe. My number-one hater and number-one fan, all at once. I'm so lucky."  
You send him an air kiss, the teasing grin on your face mirrored by the fond one tugging at his lips. He looks at you like he did in that first-ever call way back then—like you're his whole world, and he can't believe you're real.  
"How's the jet lag this time?" You ask, steering the conversation to safer ground.  
"It's not so bad," he shrugs, despite the clear exhaustion in his voice. "At least this trip is only for a few days. Then I can come back to the comfort of our bed."  
You raise an eyebrow, "My bed."  
Jake's eyes narrow, "Our bed. Just admit it—you miss me."  
You pause. "Maybe. Just a little."  
His grin widens, and for a moment, neither of you say anything, the conversation lulling into an easy silence—the kind of warmth that only comes with knowing someone so well.  
Finally, you shift under your blanket, getting comfortable as Jake watches you through this screen, his gaze tender, as though memorizing the curve of your smile, the way you tuck your hair behind your ear.  
"You should sleep," you murmur, holding your phone closer to your face. The glow of your phone reflecting off your soft features sends palpations to Jake's chest so loud he almost doesn't hear your words. 
"Mm, I really should," Jake sighs, though he doesn't move an inch. "I'll talk to you soon, yeah?" 
"Mmhm," you hum, your eyes closing at the softness of his voice.  
“Sleep tight. I love you,” his says, voice soft and deliberate, making sure you feel every word. 
“Goodnight, Jakey,” you tease, letting the smirk creep into your voice, peeking an eye open just to catch his reaction. 
Jake groans dramatically, running a hand down his face, “Y/N…not this again.”  
You giggle, the fondness within you growing tenfold as you take in his face—the slight pout of his lips, his messy hair, his eyes shining with unwavering adoration for you. 
“I said I love youuu,” he whines, dragging out the last word, his lips tugging into the tiniest of smiles, his entire universe reflecting from his eyes.  
Finally, you give in, smiling sweetly.  
“I love you, too, Jake. You already know.”  
And you’ve never meant anything more.  
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
Songs that Remind me of Y/N:
From the first call to forever—you've always been my favorite melody.   Yours, Jake <3
"As I Am" – Justin Bieber (ft. Khalid)  
"Daylight" – Taylor Swift 
"DIE 4 YOU" - Dean 
"Psycho, Pt. 2" – Russ 
"Heaven" – Bazzi 
"Every Kind of Way" – H.E.R. 
"Off My Face" – Justin Bieber 
"Before You" – Benson Boone 
"Sunflower" – Post Malone & Swae Lee 
"Pink + White" – Frank Ocean
"No Doubt" – Enhypen <3 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
the end! if you made it all the way, this is for you:
⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡♡♡♡♡♡
p.s. i wanted to leave the ending kinda up to interpretation—hence the time skip to a year later..but lowkey what if i wrote short drabbles/scenes of things jake does to gain Y/N's trust again, from small to big gestures etc etc..lmk if that's something anyone would wanna see !!
<3, addie
m.list here!
tag list (love you all <3):
(i hope it let me tag everyone!)
@thesassy-mia @ikeulove @renaishun @xylatox @puma-riki @blackberryrains @dreamiestay @junislqve @lamin143 @dreamy-carat @etherealhan @vvenusoncasual @belovedsthings @somuchdard @sumzysworld @mirouie @almondtofu006 @fancypeacepersona @vivimura @hollxe1 @missthang600 @sugarikiz @sanasour @enhamonsterghoul @etherealriki
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hamzaheaven · 1 month ago
Note
High fic with hamzah?
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a/n: writing this fried as fuck so it only seemed right xxxx thank u for the req :’) also first time posting smut im terrified (its written in the way i enjoy smut so no vulgar words, moreso descriptions i guess?? idk pls im ashamed lowkey.) and its long as hell ok ill stop apologising now. sorry
tags: friends to lovers, tension.
warnings: weed smoking, dry humping.
NSFW <3
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
you feel your eyes strain slightly as the smoke spills from between your lips, your gaze focused mindlessly on the orange tip of the joint. you’re sitting on Hamzah’s bed, your back resting against his headboard. you and him had been friends for a while now, but it was starting to become harder for the both of you to ignore the blatant attraction and tension that lingered between you. the suggestive tones curling around every word, the glances that last a little too long. it was evident in everything, but you both seem to keep skirting around it. tonight, it feels heavier. hamzah had called you earlier, his voice laced with something softer than usual, asking if you wanted to come over and smoke. you didn’t hesitate. now, the two of you exist in easy silence. 
hazily, your attention drifts across the room. Hamzah is sitting in his desk chair, hunched over slightly as he edits a video on his computer. the screen is the only strong illumination in the otherwise dark room, the blue-ish light reflecting off the glasses on his face. your chest rises and falls slowly as you watch him, your eyes flicking across his back. his jaw clenches and unclenches in focus, his fingers moving over his mouse mindlessly. 
as if he notices your dwelling gaze, he turns his head over his shoulder to look back at you. another moment of comfortable, wordless silence passes as you simply stare at him, a sheepish grin tugging at the corners of your mouth. 
“what?” he quietly asks, the ghost of a chuckle laced within the simple question. even from behind his glasses, you can tell his eyes have turned a little red, too, like your own. 
you blink your eyes slowly, sparking the lighter in your hand a couple of times before shaking your head and shrugging. “nothing,” you mumble back, looking down at the lighter for a moment before back up to him. “admiring my view,” you add, your tone a little unserious as you sit up slightly. 
he immediately returns his attention back to his screen, humorously shaking his head in disapproval. the sound of his mouse clicking is echoing throughout the silence once more. “don’t say that,” he stoically says, “ew,” he adds, but you are quick to catch the tiny twitch of a grin tugging at one corner of his mouth.
you can’t help but puff out a laugh, knowing how quickly he cringes at comments like that. silently, you relight the joint, your throat and lungs contracting slightly as you inhale. “you almost done?” you ask, your voice soft as the smoke billows out along with your words. 
he doesn’t respond immediately, humming instead. “yeah, just need to-” he starts, cutting himself off as he clicks around on his screen before continuing his sentence, “cut these clips a bit more…” 
a slightly dramatic sigh falls from your lips as you place the joint on the ashtray on his bedside table. “well, you better hurry up, or there won’t be anything left for you to smoke,” you reply, your words carrying a teasingly taunting tone. 
he clicks his tongue in response, still keeping his eyes focused on the screen. “don’t you dare,” he mumbles, his mouse now moving faster across his computer as you amusedly continue to watch. he takes another five agonisingly long minutes to finish up, turning his monitor off before sliding the desk chair back and getting up. in the now mostly dark room, he stretches, his bones crackling a little, a soft groan eliciting from his throat. you look up at him through half-lidded eyes, the same sheepish grin still on your face as he sluggishly pads over to the bed. “scoot,” he mumbles, scratching his hair and waving his hand for you to move to the other side of his bed. 
you do as he says, moving over to make room for him, your movements a little slower and heavier than usual. the mattress dips beside you, his body plopping down on where you had previously been sitting. a deep exhale passes through his lips as he sinks deeper against the pillows, shifting to get more comfortable. your eyes feel heavy as they seem glued to him, tentatively watching his every move. his fingers reach for the joint resting on the ashtray, taking off his glasses with his other hand. he looks at the joint for a second, before sparking the lighter, the orange flame illuminating his face in the dark room. you swallow sharply, taking your bottom lip between your teeth and lolling your head back gently against the headboard. hamzah’s yet to notice your shameless staring as he takes a long drag, inhaling before the smoke billows back out of his nose and parted lips. finally, he turns his head your way, catching your gaze as it was already on him. he mirrors your movements, resting his head on the headboard as well. 
the atmosphere in the room feels a little loaded, the tension between him and you almost palpable in the air, the effects of the marijuana only intensifying it. neither of you look away. his gaze flickers down for a second—just barely. it’s quick, but you catch it. the subtle drop of his eyes, lingering just a second too long on your lips before they snap back up to meet yours.
inhaling sharply, you move a little closer, teasingly placing your hand on his upper thigh as you lean over him, reaching for the joint he had laid back on the ashtray. he flexes the muscles in his thighs in reaction to your touch. your head feels fuzzy, your eyelids strained as you relight the tip, staying in place instead of moving back to your previous spot on the bed. the smoke passes through your parted lips, the taste of the green plant lingering in your mouth before you turn to look at Hamzah. 
his head is lolled back against the headboard as he watches you through low eyes, a lopsided grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. he shifts slightly as you keep your hand on his thigh, leaning on him to prop yourself up a little as you turn your body towards him fully. with your blood-shot eyes, you keep them locked onto his own, taking another drag before tentatively leaning closer. he watches with anticipation as you stop inches in front of his face, blowing the smoke against his parted lips teasingly. you flip the joint around in your fingers for him to wrap his lips around the end, but he doesn’t react for a moment. he seems to contemplate something, his chest rising and falling slowly as he blinks at you. 
wordlessly, he gently moves your hand away from his face, taking the joint from between your fingers and placing it on the ashtray. “c’mere,” he then mumbles, shortly nudging his chin upwards. his hand gently traces up your arm and into the crook of your neck, his fingers lacing in the hair at the back of your neck. you feel your chest flutter slightly at his soft command, watching gingerly as he tugs your face closer to his. 
teasingly, he ghosts his parted lips against yours, grinning to himself. he juts out his bottom lip a little, an airy exhale rolling off your tongue as it touches your mouth. you move your head to the other side, trying to find a way around his teasing, but he doesn’t immediately let up. instead, he removes his thumb from the back of your neck, carefully tracing it along your jawline until it reaches your bottom lip. he pads the finger across the soft, slightly damp skin. you can’t help but stifle a sigh, placing your other hand on his chest gently. a little frustratedly, you curl your fingers into the fabric of his shirt. 
he notices your frustrated gesture, biting back a light chuckle. his free hand tugs on your thigh, guiding your body to straddle his lap with heavy and slow movements. he exhales against your parted lips once more, teasing the tightened tether of tension carelessly once more before finally giving in. 
your hands slide up to his neck, your spine arching slightly as he gently presses his lips against yours. the dense haze in your head lifts just a little at the feeling, the hand that isn’t curled into the hair at the back of your head moving up your thigh and under your shirt. you inhale sharply against his mouth at his rather cold fingers stretching across the warm skin of your bare back. he applies a gentle pressure, pushing you down onto him a little. his eyebrows furrow, his heavy eyes fluttering shut at the friction. in response, you gently dig your nails into the back of his head. shivers continue to roll down your spine as he keeps his cold hand there, absentmindedly guiding the way you’re moving. 
you pull a hand through your hair, moving it out of the way, never breaking the kiss. something about the effects of the weed seems to make every touch, sound and move feel like a breathtaking bliss. a low, soft exhale tumbles from his throat, strangling into a whiny, barely audible moan. “fuck,” he curses against your lips when you roll your hips, just barely, experimentally, and a sharp inhale cuts through the space between you.
his fingers dig into your waist like he’s attempting to ground himself. his breath shudders as your hips roll over him again. his head falls back against the headboard with a quiet, broken sound—something between a sigh and a whimper. you can feel the tension in his body, the way his muscles go taut beneath your hands, the way his grip on you wavers between restraint and desperation.
“f-fuck,” he repeats, his voice thin and unsteady. he’s already unraveling, his chest rising and falling faster as his hands twitch against your skin. you don’t think you’ve ever seen him like this—so quickly undone, so easily wrecked just by the slow grind of your hips, the teasing drag of your fingers up his chest. 
you curl your spine slightly, leaning down as your lips ghost over his jaw, trailing down to the side of his neck, where you press a single, deliberate kiss to the warm skin just below his ear. his whole body tenses beneath you, a shaky, barely-contained whimper tumbling from his lips. 
“please–,” he starts, but he can’t seem to finish the sentence. his hands flex on your waist, his eyebrows furrowing deeper, his voice soft and whiny. 
you hum against his neck, the vibration making him shiver. “please, what? hm?” you murmur, your lips brushing against his pulse point, pressing a deep kiss there. 
he swallows hard, his breath coming in short, uneven gasps. “don’t… don’t stop,” he stammers, his voice catching on the words. His fingers twitch against your skin, restless, desperate, barely able to even guide your movements anymore. 
you pull back just enough to look at him, your gaze flickering over his face. his lips are parted, slightly swollen from how hard he’s been biting down on them in an attempt to be quieter. his pupils are blown wide, a deep furrow in his eyebrows. he looks wrecked already, and you’ve barely even touched him.
you tilt your head slightly as you listen to his quiet plea, making the coil in your lower abdomen tighten. your fingers tentatively trace the hem of his shirt before slipping beneath the fabric, dragging your nails lightly up his stomach. his breath stutters at the touch, and when you press them down slightly, just enough to make him feel it, he lets out a high, needy whimper. 
his hands shoot up, gripping your wrists like he’s trying to stop you—but his hold is weak, like he doesn’t actually want you to stop. “wait… wait,” he tries, his voice barely above a whisper, breathy and shaking, giving away he doesn’t want to cum so quick. his head tilts back, his eyes fluttering shut. his chest is heaving as you curiously halt your movements. 
you lean in again, pressing a slow, open-mouthed kiss to his collarbone. “you’re so sensitive,” you murmur against his skin, and the way his breath catches, the way his thighs flex beneath you, tells you everything you need to know. you gently continue moving, bringing back the friction that was making him writhe underneath you. his taut muscles immediately melt again under your body, a whiny exhale falling from his parted lips. 
“y/n–...” he tries to speak, but your name is quick to die in his throat when you grind against him again, slower this time, more deliberate. his hands clench and unclench at your sides, his breathing turning into short, hitched gasps. his voice wavers, and then he lets out a soft, whiny moan that makes your pulse spike. you watch as his head turns to the side, his skin burning, like he’s embarrassed by the sounds slipping out of his mouth. 
but you don’t want him to be quiet. 
tilting his chin back toward you with a gentle hand, you hover just inches from his lips, your thumb brushing against the corner of his mouth. “don’t hide from me,” you murmur, your voice softer now, coaxing, suggestive on the shell of his ear. “I want to hear you.”
his breath shudders, his grip on you tightening for a split second before going slack again. another curse word tumbles from his lips, his head dropping forward, his voice coming out in airy whines. “fuck… i’m, s-so close,” he stumbles over his whispered words, his chest heaving. 
you watch him, your own breath catching in your throat now, too. 
he lifts his head again, messily searching for your lips with his own, breathing raggedly. his grip on you is tight; harsh, almost as you continue rolling your hips, feeling how he pushes his own hips up every now and then. his whole body is tense, caught between pleasure and overwhelming sensitivity, and the way he’s looking at you—dazed, unfocused, his eyes dark and heavy-lidded—only spurs you on.
your mouths sloppily connect once more, and you can tell he’s struggling to focus. 
hamzah is trembling slightly beneath you now, his breath coming in short, uneven gasps as you keep moving against him, your nails roaming his back with deliberate slowness. his head tilts back, exposing the long curve of his throat, and the soft, desperate sounds spilling from his lips are enough to send heat pooling low in your stomach.
“i cant h… im gonna–,” his voice breaks on a whimper, the muscles in his thighs going taut, a string of loud moans following his cut off words. you watch with parted lips as his head drops back against the headboard. his expression contorts with the overwhelming ecstasy that thrills through all of his nerve endings, your nails digging into the skin of his chest as you feel the muscles in his stomach contract and release in rhythm with his whiny moans. they slowly grow softer, and you bite back a brief chuckle as you feel a growing, warm, wet spot in his pants underneath you. his hands slide down from your waist to your hips, his chest still rapidly rising and falling. he keeps his eyes closed for a moment longer, seeming to relish in the sensations pulsating through his body. 
you swallow sharply, deliberately shifting a little on top of him, causing him to wince a little at the overstimulation of the sensitive area. he lazily opens his eyes into yours, his lips a little puffy and glistening as he keeps them parted, his panting slowing down slightly. his eyes are still a little unfocused and hazy as he flickers them across your face for a moment, a glint of endearment in them. he then drops his gaze down to his crotch, groaning a little. “look at this fucking mess,” he mumbles, also noticing the wet spot in the fabric, along with some of it splayed out on the skin of his stomach where his shirt had moved up. 
a breathy chuckle falls from your lips as he looks back up at you. “why would you make me ruin a perfectly good pair of sweatpants like that?” he asks jokingly, his eyes still half-lidded as he amusedly gazes at your state; a pink hue on your cheeks, lips puffy and damp, eyes heavy and your hair a little disheveled. he carefully wraps his arms around your waist, craning his neck so he can comfortably press a sweet, simple kiss on your mouth. 
you shrug playfully, grinning into the kiss. “my bad.”
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allthingswhumpyandangsty · 1 month ago
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why praising someone’s fic while at the same time tearing down other writers’ fics may not be the positive comment you think it is
first of all, I feel like I should be bringing this up because I’ve gotten comments where people praise my works (which I appreciate) while in those same comments they later say what they dislike about other writers’ fanfics, in a rather harsh manner, and while I know my commenters probably don’t have any ill intentions towards me, and while they never actually name the writers whose works they don’t like, I still don’t agree with and I certainly don’t condone the way they trash talk other writers’ fanfics either. so I think I should just bring this up, not to attack or target anyone specifically, but to hopefully make general readers see why comments like these are… not actually helpful to anybody.
before we begin, I also like to humbly point out that comments I’m talking about aren’t “oh it’s so hard to find a fic this good” or “your work is better than most of the fics I’ve read” because personally I think comments like these are harmless, not because I think my fic is “that good”, not because I think my work is “better than others”, but because no other writers were insulted and if my readers say they prefer my work — it’s all personal preference — then I’m honored, and the last thing I wanna be is a Comment Police, but I’ve unfortunately seen a lot of comments, especially lately, where other writers were rudely insulted in the name of praising the writer whose work is being commented on. I’m not gonna provide screenshots because I’m not gonna put a target on anybody’s back, but here’s to give an example of what I’m talking about,
“I like your work so much. It’s so hard to find a fic this good when most of the (insert character’s name) fics I’ve read are so bad and so out of character. I hate when some writers write (insert character’s name) as some sort of (x) and (insert another character’s name) as some (x), I think it’s so out of characters and so cringe that it physically makes me want to throw my laptop away. It feels like reading a garbage written by a bunch of five year-old kids or something. I wish I could set those trash on fire. Your work is not like those shitty fics though and it’s amazing to finally see a good fic.”
this is the kind of comments I’m talking about. because for me, personally, I don’t actually feel good receiving a comment like this, even though the commenter praises me and never actually mentions other writers, whose works they dislike, by names.
and again, the last thing I ever wanna be is a Comment Police, because I usually appreciate every comment I got, no matter if it’s just a heart emoji or a simple sentence like “I liked this”, I love and appreciate them all. but here we go;
WHY INSULTING OTHER WRITERS IN THE NAME OF PRAISING A WRITER WHOSE WORK YOU COMMENT ON IS NOT A POSITIVE COMMENT
comment like this can put a harmful pressure on the writer whom you praised and make them think that they now have to be extra careful to make sure their work is “good enough to please you”, otherwise they might get torn to shreds too. and instead of writing for themself for fun, which should be the most important thing about writing fanfics, they now feel like they have to write because they have to be good enough to earn their readers’ approval. and that just sucks out all the joy of doing something that was supposed to be a hobby, something writers do out of love and passion and not because they were pressured into doing, not because they were pressured into “being good enough and staying good enough”.
“if you’re this comfortable insulting other writers under my work, how can I know you’re not insulting me and my work under someone else’s comments section?” is a valid thought the writer you praised may have, even if they were too polite to tell you that.
“I hate when some writers write (insert character’s name) as some sort of (x) and (insert another character’s name) as some (x), I think it’s so out of characters and so cringe that it physically makes me want to throw my phone away.” how do you know the writer you praised hasn’t already written something like this in their drafts? how do you know they don’t plan on writing something that you deem “cringe and out of character”? it may not be your intention, but your comment certainly can be read as a subtle “hey, don’t you dare write something like this because I don’t like it!!!! I better not see it from you!!!” I shouldn’t have to tell you how entitled this is.
“this is so out of character” if a writer wants to write their favorite character like this, they can. why? because they write whatever they want and they write for themself, not for you.
fanfiction is not — and never will be — your average novel you see while visiting a bookstore, buy it with your money and bitch about it when it turns out the book is not to your liking. because fanfiction is free. fanfic writers write for themselves and for fun. fanfic writers write whatever they wanna write, because they themselves are their own primary audiences. not you. they’re only kind enough to share with you their works. for free. if you dislike a fic, keep that to yourself and move on to something you do like. don’t be entitled by insulting something you got for free, something that wasn’t even made for you at all.
you obviously can dislike a fic. of course, it’s your opinion. I mean I won’t say I like every fic I’ve ever read, but the thing about disliking a fic is that you can just exit said fic, forget about it and move on to something else without feeling the need to insult the work or the writer, be it directly or indirectly, because, again, fanfiction is not a movie you watch on Netflix or a book you bought with your money. fanfiction is an art, a hobby and a passion created by an artist for the artist themself.
a reminder that comments are public for everyone to see, not just the writer you praise. so while you didn’t mention any other writers whom you insulted by names, there’s always a chance of innocent writers finding your comment and thinking the part where you insult other writers’ works is about their works. and that can very negatively affect them too.
fanfiction doesn’t have to be “good enough for you, random reader”. fanfiction just has to bring the writers joy. and that’s what make a fic good enough.
if you really enjoy someone’s work, tell them that you enjoy their work, tell them what you like about their work. don’t turn their comments section into your own space where you can vent and trash talk other writers, because you are bringing that negativity to the writer whose work you said you enjoyed. and I can only speak for myself but, as a writer, I don’t enjoy seeing my comments section turn into a negative and unkind space where my fellow writers are being insulted.
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wincore · 3 months ago
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I faked my engagement for free cake samples and got sued after I ran away AIO | haechan
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pairing: haechan x baker!reader
genre: comedy, fluff, rivals (?) to lovers (?)
warning(s): quite possibly you will be inflicted with cringe, shameless scamming, mild swearing, one (1) innuendo
words: 5.4k
song recs: santa doesn’t know you like i do by sabrina carpenter, too late for chocolate? by kana hanazawa, like a raspberry by 宇宙ネコ子, honey by kara
a/n: ty to my queens lana and cat for gassing up this dumpster fire i wrote in a caffeine haze while watching my bf die every 20 secs in ds3. the initial plot was going to be far longer and more fleshed out but i fear i'm past my prime ( ._. )" i still hope you guys have fun with this one!! i got to play around with hallmark comedy far more this time, so overall it was a fun time writing <3 happy new year, my lovely mooncakes!!
part of a nonsense christmas: reddit edition collab <3
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r/AmITheAsshole
u/YeastMode6969 • 3h
I faked my engagement for free cake samples then got sued after I ran away. AIO?
I (24F, small bakery owner) faked my engagement to get free cake samples at my rival bakery but the employee said I needed my fiance to be there. I panicked and grabbed the first guy to come through the bakery door after me. Turns out he’s not just some random customer. To top it off, he was ridiculously attractive even though he pissed me off every two sentences. I had a panic attack, told myself it’s totally not my fault, and moved on by baking fourteen cakes over the weekend. I thought I got away with it, but three days later, I got an email from him—he’s now suing me for “emotional damages” and “theft of pastries.” Am I doomed, or is this just karma with extra frosting?
⥣ 7.7k ⥥ 2,701 Comments
bun_theory0222 • 2h
INFO: Did you at least try the samples? Were they worth the lawsuit? We’re all dying to know here.
➥ Reply ⥣ 3.2k ⥥
muffinbutdrama1122 • 1h
nah cuz why is he suing when he CLEARLY wants to flirt??? this man is embarrassing but so are you. somebody matched ur freak <3
➥ Reply ⥣ 1.7k ⥥
soggywaffle0205 • 6m
YTA why can’t this shit happen to me. AT LEAST I would commit to the bit.
➥ Reply ⥣ 420 ⥥
cerealfordinner0323 • 2h
Bro sued you just to slide into your life again. He’s not slick, and neither are you. Good luck with that wedding cake.
➥ Reply ⥣ 9,011 ⥥
. . .
If you could hop a few steps to the right, feign unconsciousness, and climb right into the active fireplace, it could potentially make everything okay. For you, that is. Not for the poor bakery employees who would have to call the cops. 
“I’m sure he’s a handsome one!” The girl behind the counter giggles, light pink dusting her cheeks. “You’re- you’re so gorgeous!”
Setting aside the fact that most gorgeous women you know end up with malformed gargoyles, your current predicament is almost equally sinister. What started as an innocuous process to gain free wedding samples (in other words, a scam) has led to a question that should be obvious but completely escaped your mind following your trailing success.
“We’ll need to have you come in with your fiance for the free wedding cake samplers. Is he around?”
Is he around?! Boy, you sure hope so. Because now you’re also frantically looking around with the employee after you blurted out another lie: “He’s going to be here soon!”
When did you turn into a compulsive liar? You’re not sure if your mom would be proud of you for being so good at nabbing free food, or disappointed that you’re a filthy liar. After all, she did tell the buffet employees you were under 10 all the way till you were 14. So, really, you’re not the source of the problem! You brush your festive red skirt of invisible crumbs, trying to busy yourself.
The cafe itself is well decorated for Christmas—a silver reindeer bores holes into your head from by the front door, a small Christmas tree stands at the center that’s a little emaciated but the cute Sanrio ornaments in Santa hats make up for it, and most importantly, a beautiful Mont Blanc cake sparkles from atop the glass counter. (Seriously, why didn’t you think of this? Your own bakery is all sparkles and no play.)
You move out of the way of other customers, and casually glance at the source of your awe and joy. Powdered sugar dusts the top as idyllic snow, covering the sugared cranberries and sugared chestnuts, not dent in them under the white fondant star. The base of the cake is tied with an edible red ribbon, completing the seasonal aesthetic of it. A sigh rests momentarily upon your lips before it escapes. 
You love Mont Blanc cakes, but you never quite get it right. That’s your biggest failure as an up-and-coming baker, and such is the reason for your unhinged serial sampling scam. You swear it started off as a search for inspiration in a creative rut but before you knew it, a lie had spilled from your eclair-sweetened lips, and another, and another. 
It is at this point that you briefly consider bolting for the door. Tibet is great around this time of the year. Maybe if you convert to a monk lifestyle and atone for your sins, you’ll be granted a pardon in the form of delicious sweets. Before you can make your escape, however, the front door jingles, and in strides a sight unbelievably reassuring. A man with caramel hair enters, who might as well be wrapped in a giant red ribbon and seated atop a snow-white horse in golden ornaments.
It’s a Christmas miracle. Hallelujah! They still apply to you.
His smile—soft and sweet as meringue hearts—lights up the room as he inhales the warm, sugary air of the bakery. You’re hit with the vaguest sense of familiarity. He might be one of the few customers you get these days. For a moment, you falter. Are you really going to victimize this stranger?
Yes. Yes, you are. The situation is dire.
“Hi darling!” You exclaim within earshot of the employee, before lowering your voice. “Could you help me out a little here?”
The man blinks, dazed for whatever reason. “Uh… sure?”
“Okay, then follow along and ask questions later,” you reply, and loop your arm through his gingerly. The touch of his fuzzy winter coat makes you relax a little. It is chocolate-colored, with beige fluff around the collar. Not now, you think to yourself, You need to stop thinking about sweets for one goddamn moment.
“Here he is,” you laugh sheepishly as you bring the man forward. Gosh, what in the heavens are you doing? You didn’t even ask his name. 
The employee stares, jaw agape. What’s with the reaction? He’s not that hot. 
“O-oh,” she responds. “That’s quite the surprise. I never knew. Congratulations, sir!”
You turn to look at him. He simply scratches his chin with a sheepish smile, and manages to respond with a “Thanks, Kimi.”
He must be a regular, you think. Oh, (Name), what did you get yourself into? You’re just gonna have to read his name off his coffee order first.
“We have a selection of samples for our wedding cake choices,” the girl, Kimi, moves to the far side of the counter, offering a small menu card to the two of you. “I know you’re not a big fan of wedding cakes, Mr. Lee, but the latest tiramisu flavors should suit your tastes, no?”
Just how close are they?! You chew on your lip and try to calm your depraved little heart.
“Well,” he responds, thinking for a second, “I actually hadn’t thought this far. What do you think, honey?”
He turns to you with a radiant smile, but you sense a hint of mischief. You don’t have time to think of that though—so you just change the topic. 
“Actually, do you have a Mont Blanc flavor? I’ve always had trouble perfecting it myself.”
Truth be told, that ‘honey’ had flowed from his lips and struck you straight in the heart. He’s not too bad to look at, you think now. His tousled hair catches the light with a playful sheen, framing his face and accentuating his disbelieving smile, while his fluffy coat adds a cozy touch to his charming, boyish demeanor. If you were to overthink a little, you’d find a hint of mischief in his voice. Alas, you’re a simple girl who only overthinks sweet treats, not boys.
“You bake?” He blurts, before his ears turn red from realization.
Kimi shoots him a puzzled look and your breath hitches in your throat. Was the miracle an idiot in disguise?
“I mean, uh, gosh, you make me so nervous, honey.” He looks like he’s trying his very best to ace an exam he never studied for. “I meant to ask if you're going to bake.. today? Don’t look at me like that.” 
Maybe you should’ve picked a candied apple and prayed that a witch had poisoned it. You can’t even force out a smile at that pathetic save.
“You’re a lucky man, Mister,” Kimi jabs, a look of distrust in her eyes before they flash to you. “I’m afraid Miss (Name) in a wedding dress would make me drop dead at the altar.”
“Oh, you- you flatter me,” you choke out, “I promise you wedding gowns aren’t my thing at all. Besides, you’d look beautiful in white yourself.”
Why is she so into this wedding conversation? How close are these two? You’re not sure how to react, and neither do you know how this man is going to explain your mysterious disappearance the next time he visits the bakery. You’re sure as hell not going to continue the act beyond this. It’s time you retired from this scam business. You’re not even sure how you’ll talk your way out of this with the man, currently engaged in small talk with Kimi. 
And— is he blushing?! Does he have something going on with the girl—Kimi? Did you just ruin something? Your heart tightens a little, and you have to physically restrain yourself from falling to the floor, head in your hands.
You laugh awkwardly, trying to diffuse the situation. When you open your mouth, you are interrupted.
“Actually, Miss, I think I take back what I said about the handsome part,” Kimi jokes, evident disdain sent towards Donghyuck.
Your natural response is a little laugh that leaves before you know it. Maybe, the feelings you sensed were of unrequited resentment. He does have the kind of face that looks like it’s often smacked by girls. No offense to him.
Kimi hands you the first sample (two delicious slices of Mont Blanc) and excuses herself to fetch the rest. The two of you make your way to a booth with the heaviest silence you’ve ever experienced. You might as well be at a funeral.
“So… free samples are that good, huh?” The man asks, raising an eyebrow. 
“Shut up,” you mutter. 
“I’m Donghyuck, by the way,” he responds with a youthful laugh. “Might I have the honor of knowing my fiance's name?”
“(Name). And stop looking at me like that.”
He lets out a short breath.
“You know, maybe we should’ve pretended it was an arranged marriage.”
“Quite proficient in the scamming business, are you?”
“Oh, you’re better off not knowing my dirty secrets.”
You couldn’t care less about his secrets but the look you shoot at him is certainly dirty.
He opens his mouth but you interrupt him to absolve yourself first. “Listen, I don’t do this often. And I’ll have you know it’s nothing personal. Well, not against you. The owner of this place maybe.”
Donghyuck blinks. “Oh? Do tell. I’m all for being a hater with my fiance.”
You stare at him, not impressed.
“Sorry.”
“Okay, so this started a month or two ago. I had been working tirelessly, testing recipe after recipe, trying to perfect the Mont Blanc cake. It was my dream to make it iconic, you know? But before I could even settle on the perfect combination of flavors, some smug bastard opens a bakery right across from me. And what does he have as his specialty? Why, the Mont Blanc cake of course. Seasonal! Cute, elaborate new decor every two weeks! Just how rich is he? I bet he doesn't even bother to create his own recipes. This guy didn’t just steal my idea, he’s turned my passion into some overpriced, generic trend!”
You heave, tired from the onslaught of frustration. Chewing on your lower lip, a pout naturally makes its way onto your face, and so do more complaints. 
“And that’s not all, okay? I never see him at the bakery. I refrain from entering my competitors' establishments unless I greet them in person. But this asshole is just never there! What, is he too good to work at his own bakery? Too good to grace us lowly bakers with a visit? How could he just swoop in and steal my signature item?”
Donghyuck listens to your rant with intent, cheek resting against his palm. He even looks a little ridiculously charmed right now. 
“Wait… so you’re the infamous Free Cake Phantom everyone’s talking about?” He gasps.
You’ve finally turned to your poor, neglected Mont Blanc sample, just for your heart to jump out. “What?”
“Just kidding. Your secret is safe,” he says, digging into the cake with infuriating nonchalance. “But hey, you’ve got good taste. This Mont Blanc though? It’s my personal recipe.”
Your fork halts halfway to your mouth. “Your recipe? What, you work here or something? And, no offense, but it’s overwhipped.”
If that’s a joke, it’s not very funny. The man looks more like a confectionary than a confectioner. There’s no way he works here. He’s probably some jobless guy drifting from bakery to bakery on early Saturday mornings.
His jaw drops. “Overwhipped? Are you kidding me?”
You wave the fork at him like it’s a weapon. “Chestnut puree shouldn’t have the texture of mousse. It’s called finesse, Mr. Lee.”
Before he can respond, Kimi returns with another tray, and you slip back into character, placing your hand on Donghyuck’s. “Thank you,” you coo at her. “I can’t wait to share all these flavors at our wedding.”
Donghyuck stiffens slightly at the unexpected contact, but he recovers quickly, plastering on the fakest grin known to man. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”
Kimi laughs. “You’re such a lovely couple. When’s the big day?”
You freeze, and so does Donghyuck. For a moment, neither of you has an answer.
“Oh, we’re still, uh, deciding,” you blurt, glancing at him for backup.
“Yeah, we’re thinking spring,” he adds smoothly. “Cherry blossoms. Very romantic.”
“Y-yes. Maybe the Raspberry Rose should be in the winner’s spot then.”
As Kimi bows politely and walks away again, Donghyuck leans in to whisper. “Should I book the honeymoon now, or…?”
“Don’t push your luck,” you hiss, elbowing him in the ribs. 
He makes a pained sound, but recovers quickly. 
The second flavor is dubbed “Marble Eclipse”, a decadent blend of rich chocolate and vanilla, perfectly balanced with a luscious buttercream frosting. You try to focus on the taste, but Donghyuck’s smug grin as he watches you take a bite is more distracting than you’d like to admit. You’re not easily flustered, not by men. Unfortunately, he would have been the exact type you’d have tried to nab in college.
You shake your head. Focus, (Name), you think to yourself, You’re in the enemy’s lair right now!
“So… I might as well come clean,” Donghyuck says with a serious tone, right after you’ve taken a bite. You pause in horror. What arcane knowledge is he going to use for your humiliation this time?
“I visit your bakery often, and I must say your selection is just as good, if not better.”
You exhale.
“Oh, it’s better alright,” you retort, before realizing the unwarranted passion in your voice. You compose yourself. “I mean, maybe their Mont Blanc is… a solid competitor.”
Donghyuck laughs, clearly amused by the bashfulness on your face.
“Wait, are you patronizing me?”
“Of course not!” He places his hand over his heart in mock hurt.
“I think the difference is that this one keeps up with the youth.” He waves his fork about, explaining his point further. “Everyone loves new, shiny things. Cycle those as much as possible. Have you ever considered holding blind box events with your cupcakes? I’m sure the kids would love to find out which flavor of panda bear cupcake they got—matcha, my personal favorite, or coconut cream, or… god forbid, chocolate mint. Ugh. Have you considered removing that from the menu? Anyway, that shouldn’t take too much time and money, right?”
The youth? What is he, forty? However, however, the look on his face as he describes your own baked goods to you is enough to make you intensely flustered. Has this man visited so often? And you never noticed him? How could you miss that easy-going smile?
A familiar figure saves you from whatever awkward, garbled response you were going to muster.
Despite Kimi’s arrival, Donghyuck has a hard time taking his eyes off you. Lashes swaying with each flicker of his eyes over your face, he’s hardly taking a bit of the delicious marble cake, in fact. What, have you got something on your face?
Kimi apologizes profusely before you can say anything to greet her. 
“There’s only one slice prepared for the Tiramisu Dream sample,” she explains. “I’m so sorry about this. Would you mind sharing this one? I apologize again.”
“No worries, Kimi,” Donghyuck responds, laughing a little. You shake your head and reassure it’s alright too. 
Anyway, that slice is going to be yours. You’re ready to pry it from his cold, dead hands.  
To your surprise, though, he shoots a friendly smile at you. 
“Want the first bite?”
“May I?” You ask, just to be sure.
“By all means,” he says, gesturing grandly. “After all, what’s mine is yours, fiance.”
You swear, if he calls you that one more time, he’s going to end up in the cake display.
Kimi stares at the two of you blankly for a moment. It instantly flusters you and Donghyuck both, so much so that the idiot digs his fork into the cake slice and holds it up to your lips with a soft ‘ah’ —and so much so that you actually accept it graciously. 
And all that only for Kimi to not even notice as she excused her way back to the counter. So now you’re just two idiots deep in your romantic charades. Donghyuck clears his throat, too late to cover his coral-tinted cheeks and ears. You’re certain you wear a similar expression.
“You’re- you’re so weird,” you jab, unable to come up with an insult higher than middle school grade. 
“What, you wanted me to do airplanes too?!”
“Take that fork and drive it through your tongue, will you?”
“Woah, woah, no need for violence, Miss (Name). Peace and Love.”
Unexpectedly, it makes you break character into unbound laughter. The weariness of the act and the silliness of the whole situation leaks into the sound, and it’s enough to make Donghyuck join in. For passersby, you are just a couple already past your third, fifth and seventh dates.
“Any comments for the tiramisu cake?” Donghyuck asks, grinning ear to ear.
You catch your breath, wiping a tear from the corner of your eye. “Yeah, I have a comment: who puts this much cocoa powder on top? Are you trying to choke your customers?”
“Awh, and I thought you were gonna be nice,” he whines, “Your smile is just so… inviting.”
As if on cue, he chokes on the cocoa powder. 
“I still like it,” you continue. “I’d just do it better.”
“I have the utmost confidence in that.”
Gosh, his smile is nauseating—too bright, too easy, like he’s actually enjoying this. Maybe he’s a rising actor, and you’re the one being hoodwinked. After all, who looks at someone like that on a first meeting?
A moment passes, and suddenly his thumb is at the corner of your lips, brushing off the cocoa powder with a touch so casual it feels anything but. “Got it,” he murmurs, and the air between you shifts, warm and oddly heavy.
“So, how do you know all this?” you ask, changing the topic. You’re forcing yourself to focus, to breathe. 
He leans back, a small laugh slipping out like he’s grateful for the lifeline. “You- uh- you could say I’m a connoisseur of pastries,” he offers, his voice lighter now. “I like to sample the best around town—just, you know, legally. I even take notes of my favorites.”
He gestures towards you, and you scoff.
The words settle between you as you toy with the edge of your skirt, smoothing the fabric down over your lap. There’s something about the way he speaks—so casual, so effortless—that needles at you. For a man so annoyingly confident, he sure seems relieved to have redirected the conversation.
Your hand grazes the tiny snowman buttons on your cardigan, tracing the cold plastic absentmindedly. His gaze flickers to the movement, then back to your face, a smile tugging at his lips like he’s trying not to laugh. You don’t know what’s more embarrassing—getting outed as the Cake Thief or the fact that he’s bound to know he flusters you.
You tilt your head, giving him a skeptical look. “How professional of you.”
The bite in your tone is softening, and you don’t like it one bit.
He holds up his hands, feigning surrender. “Hey, it’s an art. Someone’s gotta appreciate it, right?”
The faint chatter of other patrons fills the room, but his presence sharpens the moment, making it feel like it’s just the two of you. For a fleeting second, you catch yourself wondering what kind of person would take notes on pastries for fun. It’s so bizarrely specific, so utterly unnecessary—and yet, so like him.
His smile deepens, pulling you out of your thoughts. “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?” he teases.
You roll your eyes, but there’s no stopping the traitorous grin threatening to break through. You refuse to indulge him, even as you feel the faintest crack in your defenses.
"Maybe,” you say, finally.
He chuckles, the sound warm and genuine, before leaning back against his chair with a satisfied air, as if he’s won something. You glance at the tray, willing yourself to focus on anything else.
How awkward. How warm. 
You spot a napkin fluttering off the table, carried by a sudden draft from the door. Instinctively, you step out of your chair to grab it, but Donghyuck beats you to it, scooping it up with an exaggerated flourish and a bow.
“Your knight in shining armor,” he declares dramatically, holding it out like a trophy.
“More like my nuisance in sugar-stained armor,” you retort, snatching it from his hand.
He laughs, unabashed. “Ah, so sharp. Yet here you are, sharing cake with said nuisance. Life is full of mysteries.”
“I’m just here for the cake,” you deadpan, dusting your hands off.
For a second, his smile falters—not in hurt but in sheer disbelief. He tilts his head, studying you with an incredulous expression, and you suddenly feel like a frog under a magnifying glass.
“You really don’t get it, do you?” he says, almost to himself, his voice low but still playful.
“Get what?” you ask, genuinely confused.
Donghyuck presses his lips together, fighting back a grin. He steps closer, leaning in just enough for you to catch the faint scent of chestnut cream. “I mean, I could spell it out for you, but that might ruin the fun.”
“Spell what out?” you press, a little flustered now.
He straightens with a laugh, shaking his head. “Nothing, you airhead. Absolutely nothing. Is your head full of cotton candy, by any chance?”
You narrow your eyes at him, but before you can respond, he’s already pulling his chair back, resuming his seat with a sigh.
“Mont Blanc, Marble Eclipse, and Tiramisu on the first date,” he states, deep in thought. “Maybe Matcha Lemon, Lavender Peach, and White Chocolate on the second… Perhaps a Red Velvet and a Strawberry Shortcake before you realize I literally own this place?”
You feel the heat intensify on your cheeks. You almost miss the last part, clouded by the implications of the rest of his words. He… wants to go on more dates with you? Was this a date all along? You’ve been swindled into having fun with a man somehow. He even knows the ins and outs of a baker’s life. And he’s charming in an oddball sort of way. You shouldn’t be feeling solidarity with this weirdo. But then again, somehow, his laugh is very… endearing. 
Wait a minute.
“You- you really own the place?!” A scream dies in your throat.
Donghyuck looks positively taken aback. “So you actually weren’t aware?!”
“What do you mean? How the hell am I supposed to know?! You described yourself as a connoisseur of pastries. I thought you were some kind of freelance failure so I didn’t pry!”
“Excuse me?!”
“Well, either that or you’re unbelievably rich. But then you don’t look it. Your sleeves have flour and oil stains on them, and your shoes are all dusty too, and there’s gold flakes in your hair—okay, how did I miss this?”
“Geez, way to judge someone by their looks. I’m not taking that from the local tart snatcher.”
The retort barely registers because your brain is too busy replaying the words “I own this place.” The realization hits, and before you can think better of it, the chair screeches back as you bolt upright.
“Wait, where are you—” Donghyuck’s voice is cut off by your shrill, mortified “Bye!” as you make a beeline for the door, leaving behind a very startled staff and a half-empty tray of cakes. Immediately after your exit, you let out a shriek. 
What the hell are you doing?!
Your face burns as you speed-walk down the street, each step punctuated by the memory of your impulsive retreat. You must have cast your senses away at that moment, like some wide-eyed fool in a fairy tale, almost charmed by that silly man and his absurd little quirks. It’s not your fault, of course—it’s his, with his flour-dusted sleeves, that stupidly endearing laugh, and the way he talked about pastries like they were a love language. What was wrong with him?! you think, conveniently ignoring the fact that it was your awkwardness and runaway theatrics that had caused the scene. You’d blame it on sugar overload if it weren’t for the nagging realization that maybe—just maybe—he’d gotten under your skin, and the fact that you deserved it.
. . .
You hadn’t expected to hear from him again. Not after your embarrassing getaway. But three days later, you’re staring at an email with the subject line: "Notice of Legal Action for Unauthorized Sampling."
You open it with trembling fingers, only to find what can only be described as the world’s most dramatic—and definitely fake—lawsuit. 
Your jaw drops as you scroll through the email. He’d even attached a fake case number: #CAKE-404-NO-FUN.
The body of the email was littered with ridiculous legalese. Phrases like "egregious acts of confectionery negligence" and "failure to properly appreciate artisanal craftsmanship" were scattered between absurdly specific accusations.
There is a diagram. An actual diagram. Arrows pointing to "Exhibit A" (the Mont Blanc) and "Exhibit B" (the empty spot on the tray), annotated with notes like "victim of hasty consumption" and "left to fend for itself."
And then, at the very bottom, there it was—the pièce de résistance:
“This suit may be settled by one (1) heartfelt apology and one (1) coffee date at the aforementioned bakery. Should you require legal counsel, I suggest bringing your A-game. I am, after all, a connoisseur of arguments… and pastries. 😉”
You groan, head thunking against the back of your chair. The audacity. The drama. The fuckass emojis. 
This man is getting to you.
Your first reaction is, of course, panic. Your second? Rage. And by the time you storm into the bakery at ass o’clock before it even opens, Donghyuck is waiting for you, leaning against the counter like he owns the place. (Which he does, actually.)
He’s propped on his elbows, his posture easy and unhurried, as if he’s been expecting you. The black apron around his waist is slightly askew, and his beige T-shirt bears faint streaks of flour across the chest, a testament to an already busy morning. His fluffy brown hair is an artful mess, the kind that looks unintentional but infuriatingly perfect, with a few errant strands curling over his forehead. There’s a streak of something golden—sugar, maybe?—on his cheek, catching the light as he tilts his head to regard you with an expression that’s equal parts curious and smug.
“You’re early,” he remarks, his voice low and teasing, as though he isn’t the root of all evil.
“You think this is funny?” you demand, shoving your phone in his face.
Donghyuck grins, unbothered. “Hilarious, actually. Did it get your attention?”
“You can’t just send someone a fake legal notice!”
“Worked, didn’t it?” He shrugs, leaning back with infuriating calmness. “Besides, you owed me an explanation for your Houdini act. You know, poor Kimi had to clear your tray. She almost cried.”
“She did not!”
As if on cue, Kimi pokes her head out of the kitchen. “Oh, she absolutely did. It was tragic,” she deadpans before ducking back in.
You groan, feeling your cheeks grow hotter by the second. “You’re unbelievable.”
Donghyuck leans back, smug as ever, and gestures to the email still open on your phone. “Unbelievable or resourceful? Let’s review: I sent a single, harmless message—full of creativity and wit, I might add—and look where we are.”
“At me wanting to strangle you?”
“At you running right to me,” he corrects, his grin widening. “What, were you worried?”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” you snap. “I’m here because—” 
You stop, realizing you don’t have a decent answer. “I didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of thinking I took you seriously.”
“Oh, you absolutely took me seriously.” He nods sagely. “I saw the panic in your eyes. Admit it: for a second, you thought you were going to have to pay me a hundred grand or grovel at my feet.”
“I- ugh- fuck you!” is all you can muster, stepping forward without thinking.
He mirrors your movement, the space between you shrinking by degrees. 
“But seriously, you ghosted me, and I had to get creative. What the hell was I supposed to do? I figured the legal drama might get my point across.”
“What point?”
“That I wanted to see you again.” The words come out so easily, so matter-of-fact, you don’t know how to respond. When you finally glance up, he’s watching you closely, his expression uncharacteristically sincere.
“Just because you’re all cute and covered in flour like the star of some indie chef movie doesn’t mean you get to toy with me.”
“Ha! You’re presumptuous—despite all the fine details on me you seem to observe.” He leans in. “But guess what, I’m a greedy bastard that loves attention. So, look closer.”
And you look anywhere but his lips, too pink and too plush, as your face grows hotter than a convection oven on broil.
“Don’t flatter yourself,” you manage, staring resolutely at the display of cakes. “That hardly counts as details.”
“Details,” he echoes, his grin growing wider. “Like the way I look at you?”
“You’re just a flirt,” you mutter.
He gasps, mock-offended, and gestures dramatically to the kitchen. “Kimi, did you hear that? I’m just a flirt!”
“You said it, not me,” Kimi calls back without missing a beat.
You laugh despite yourself, the sound surprising you. And Donghyuck doesn’t miss it. His gaze softens, the teasing edge in his voice dropping slightly. “There it is. I knew you could laugh without running away.”
You roll your eyes. “Don’t get used to it.”
“Too late.”
For a moment, the air shifts, the humor giving way to something quieter. Donghyuck’s gaze lingers—not on your awkward posture or flushed cheeks, but on you, as though trying to piece together something he doesn’t quite understand.
“What?” you finally ask, defensive.
“Nothing.” He shakes his head, but there’s a small, genuine smile now. “Just... you’re such a fidgety person.”
“Are you trying to shell out an insult?”
“No, I mean, I always see you scuttling here and there. Always on the move. Always observing, but never stopping long enough to be seen. You just… don’t seem like someone who takes much time for yourself.”
You blink, caught off guard. He tilts his head, like he’s trying to figure out if he’s crossed a line.
“I’m wrong?” he asks, almost sheepishly.
“I—” You pause, unsure of how to respond. “You’re nosy, that’s what you are.”
“That’s a yes,” he decides, grinning again.
Donghyuck chuckles, leaning just a little closer, his warm brown eyes locking onto yours. “Tell you what,” he says, his voice dropping to a murmur, “I’ll prove I’m not just nosy. Let me take you out. Somewhere you don’t have to bolt out the door halfway through.”
“You think I’d agree to that?” you retort, though your words lack bite. The proximity is doing something to your brain, and you’re acutely aware of how close he’s leaned in.
His grin is confident and infuriating. “I think you’d be curious enough to say yes.”
Your breath hitches as you realize how little space is left between the two of you, your noses almost brushing. “Woah,” you whisper, trying to play it off, “my mommy warned me about boys like you. All up close and personal with flour in their hair.”
He raises a brow, unrepentant. “Smart woman. But she didn’t tell you we’re pretty good at first dates, did she?”
You can’t help the laugh that escapes, soft but genuine. “Fine,” you say, straightening up and taking a step back before your pulse betrays you further. “But you’re paying. And no weird cakes this time.”
“Deal,” he replies, his smile softer now, more sincere.
And for a moment, you believe it—not just the act, not just the cakes and the banter, but the idea that maybe, somehow, this strange, sugar-dusted series of events has led to something real.
. . .
r/AmITheAsshole
u/YeastMode6969 • 16h
UPDATE: I faked my engagement for free cake samples then got sued after I ran away. AIO?
Fine, you guys were right. We’re dating now. Let’s just say we’ve been filling my cream puffs lately  🫠
Edit: I also got the Mont Blanc recipe!!
⥣ 7.7k ⥥ 3,297 Comments
kimikakes • 13h
KIMI HERE, REPORTING LIVE FROM THE SCENE: they literally argued over frosting consistency for half an hour yesterday. This relationship is built on chaos and croissants.
➥ Reply ⥣ 7.1k ⥥
bun_theory0222 • 2h
Hellooo where are the recipes. Priorities, OP :/
➥ Reply ⥣ 4.1k ⥥
lil_sugar_daddy0813 • 1h
man i was betting on donghyuck dying alone i dont wanna lose my $20
➥ Reply ⥣ 1.3k ⥥
muffinbutdrama1122 • 1h Give me your money NYEOW ➥ Reply ⥣ 1.7k ⥥
soggywaffle0205 • 6m why are you suddenly a furry ➥ Reply ⥣ 1.1k ⥥
muffinbutdrama1122 • 1h pays the bills ➥ Reply ⥣ 2.7k ⥥
510 notes · View notes
cyberqueenpatrol · 10 days ago
Text
VIEWER!GHOST X YOUTUBER!READER
cw!: fem!reader, a bit of objectification, bit of perverse and creep behaviour
As the day winds up in the military barracks, Simon opens up his laptop, sitting with a Marlboro twirling between his index and ring finger. After all, even he needed some rest but his insomnia-drenched sleep won't let him doze off. So he just let his time be spent in this way.
But what is he watching? Million dollar question for a guy like him, right?
A petite, pretty girl's vlogs and gaming videos?!? (that's how he describes the girl)
YOUR YOUTUBE VIDEOS?!?
Man, he just loved the way you moved in front of the camera. He was entranced by the movement of your tits and swaying hips. His dick throbbed He was head over heels for you whenever you smiled. He had head in a mess of ecstasy, his ears sucking in every syllable of your voice. Whether it was your travel vlogs or GRWM videos, Simon had watched it all.
Simon was not very much bothered if any of the boys entered his room while he was watching your videos. Once, Price caught him jerking off vigorously, to you in the livestream (coz the thought of him directly being able to see you right at the moment drove him crazy).
"She still ain't ya birdie, L.T.", Price poked teasingly.
"But ain't far from 'hat", Simon replied, all while having a smirk on his scarred lips.
Once in a while, you would keep a quiz for anyone who wanted to gift you something. It was an easy one, the viewers just had to answer a question about your likes correctly and at the earliest.
"Okaaaaaay, so the the question is........" you say joyfully, your plush lips hypnotising Simon.
"What is my favourite colour? Very easy this time, isn't it?", you winked while reading the answers.
"Awww, many of you are commenting 'red'. You are so close to the answer! Just find the correct one in the shelves of your brain!", you say as you fake a pouty frown. You were never excessively trying to be cute in a cringe way, you were always fun to listen to.
Simon chuckled at your words, and typed out the answer with ease, hitting the send button.
"Wine"
Your excited eyes quickly catch the word in the ocean of comments under the livestream. You make a happy sound and clasp your hands together with a sparkle in your eyes.
"Aha! There it is! Wait, wait, where is username of winner, huh???", you exclaimed, scrolling through vast sea of comments under your livestream.
Simon wasn't a man of many words, in fact Johnny was the one who told him about you. He just typed out,
"Here"
"Oh yes! I found it guys, I found it. So it's #ghostriley. Pretty unique name, isn't it? Hello Riley! Well, first congrats on winning the quiz! Looks you paid a lot of attention to hidden clues in my previous videos. Hehehe! So, I m now...........sending.......", you win his heart with his words with these simple sentences as you type your post address to his account.
Simon almost cums at the way you said 'Oh yes'. He cannot look away, with you just biting your lower, plush lip as you write out your post address. God, he was so out of his mind. All that Simon could of was the numerous ways to make you satisfied and happy. He would anything for you. A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G.
"Sent! Did you receive the message, Riley? Maybe it'll take some time. Don't worry, if you don't get it. You can ask me anytime, happy to help, ya know", your bubbly smile threw Simon in a mess and your soothing words cured his deepest wounds for the time being, if not entirely.
"Received. Thank you. Will recieve your gift in your gift in a few days,hm?", Simon typed out, as his other window was already in the process of shipping out the gift to your address.
"That's great, Riley! I will definitely look forward to your gift. I ma sure to must be having something good!", you radiantly smiled, earning lust-filled groan from Simon. Not to mention he also smirked as fucked the life out in his fist.
"Ok people, now it's........very late. So we need go to sleep, don't we? We don't want any eye bags,hmmmm? Ok so, I am turning it off now. Bye everyone! Good night! Sweet dreams! Stay tuned for what's Riley gonna gift me!", you beamed as you wrapped up the livestream. Soon you went to bed, waiting for the surprise in the few days.
A few days later
The Sunday morning went very cozy and satisfyingly slow, with you completing the household chores, feeding your cat Ron and listening to some music. Later, the sharp sound of the doorbell pierced through the tranquility of your flat. It must be the gift, you thought to yourself.
You open the door, just to see a young lad struggling with a cardboard box large enough to make a cathouse for Ron. You smoothly took the box from him, assuring him that it was fine for you to carry the box. He gave you a sheet to sign, but something struck you as odd. Usually there would a name of the sender with the city name. Here it was only Manchester written in the block on the sheet.
You just shrug it off, as you close the door with your pyjama-clad leg, thinking that there might be an error from the courier services. As soon as you put down the box, you realise it was REALLY heavy. But a chuckle came from your mouth, seeing Ron already establishing the cardboard box as his territory.
You decide to begin the livestream in the evening, but you needed to first inform your followers. You click on the app icon, not expecting much notifications. It's a Sunday morning, who would even bother to wake up and miss on their beautiful sleep.
"1 unread message"
Wow, maybe someone has really woken up. Anyways, it's gonna be just a reel from your friends just having free-
"Got the gift, sweetheart?"
You almost choke on your homemade strawberry milkshake, as your brain reels into a mess. Your finger nearly physically stammer as your message was being typed out.
"Yes,Riley! The parcel's here, all safe and sound. I just opened this thing to inform yall that livestream's gonna be in the evening"
"Good to hear that. Thank you :)"
"That's my pleasure! I m really happy to get the gift, and I hope that you'll like the livestream. Stay tuned at 19:00!!!
"Wouldn't miss it for the world, love"
You nearly feel the temperature and blush rising up in your cheeks. Boy, they were such simple words, yet they had so much influence on you. Just imagine if someone said that to you in real life.......................
The evening rolls around, with you setting up the necessary preparations for the livestream. You hit the start button with much anticipation, excited to see your followers again.
"Heyyyyyyyyyy luvvies!! I am back here to bring something delicious for you sweeties to chew on! As you know from earlier livestream, we had picked out a winner- #ghostriley! And today's the day to check their gifts. Anddddddd.......is everyone excited??", your bubbly voice boomed through Simon's headphones, who had already kept a box of tissues beside him.
"So, Riley, can we start the unboxing with your command?", you leaned towards the camera, your eyes sparkly and the curve of your pretty tits conspicuous to Simon's eyes. Your honey-laden voice was enough to open his zipper.
"Sure,love", Simon typed out, the fist of his calloused hands already wrapped around his cock. He knew that it was very immoral to do something like that behind the screen, but he couldn't help but thik your pussy would feel instead of his rough hands.
You were a little flushed, being all new to someone calling you pretty nicknames. And that face of yours was not escaping Simon's eyes by any chance. He was already turned on, and this face just aggravated it.
"OK then, let's open the big boy up! I really didn't expect it to be this big", you exclaim as you dig the cardboard knife through the its thickness. But to Simon, all dark and primal thoughts lurked in his mind no matter how much he tried to banish them. He was enticed by the way your tongue stuck out while you focused on opening the box, wanting to strike those pretty lips with his own.
"Ha! Here it is!", you say as the box was being opened by your curious hands. The first that you got hold of was a big glass box, carefully wrapped to avoid damage. No way, you thought.
IT WAS A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF YOUR FAVOURITE SHADES OF LIP GLOSSES??!??
Boy, that must hella expensive now. Your jaw was visible open, your lips parted onto an O as you looked down at the lip glosses. You glanced at the camera and back to box.
"OK,OK, now lemme get this straight. This. Must. Be. Very. Expensive. Like man, you people DON'T need to gift such costly things and empty your bank account, please, like really", your voice was reflected shock clearly.
But to Simon, it was nothing. You were the only pretty thing in his life. So why not spend money on it? He loved the way your eyes widened, it would a lie to say that Simon didn't enjoy the view.
"But I've to say it, Riley, like- damn, thank you. So much and so bad. Never felt so damn special in my life.", you giggled at the end and held them lip glosses close to your chest, as the box made its outline in your plush tits something that Simon wanted to grab so bad
"Anything for the lady", Simon typed out with generous amount of love in his heart, causing you to evidently blush at this comment.
"Hehe, thank you very much, Riley. That's very much of a gentleman whom I would like to meet one day. Yes, definitely!", your words perked up Simon's ears, at which he satisfyingly smirked under his balaclava. His thick, girthy cock had no less chubbed up
"OK,there's like more gifts in here!", your voice chirped up, as you dug through the bubble wrap that secured it. There was long, red box at the bottom, but the bubble wrap was your favourite thing to pop since childhood. It was kind of a therapy for you.
"Hey people, look at this. I bet there's no one in this world who has never popped this thing. This is my therapy, you know, because I am too broke to afford the real one. Anyways, there's this red box here though.........", you say as your hands dig towards the bottom of box.
Simon chuckled deeply at your humour, enamoured by your ability to keep people hooked with your thoughts. But right now, his gift might keep your mind hooked for days and nights especially.
"Can pay for anything you want, sweetheart.", Simon hit the send button, just to see how it would claw at your heartstrings.
Mentally, your jaw was on the floor. Physically, your mouth was actually gaping. You fingers subconsciously traveled to your lips, and Simon was nothing new to body language. He knew that it was something that you did when your mind was thoroughly engrossed and curious.
"Oh-oh no, Riley, I am definitely not a pick me, hehe. Don't spoil me like that.", your words did sound nervous, and definitely Simon loved that he could make you flustered even though he was just behind a screen.
"Anyways, Riley, let's see what's your last gift of the day! I think it's a bottle of wine, maybe.", Simon grinned darkly at your completely wrong guess, only waiting for you to open the box.
"And here we go!", you say with much excitement and anticipation, as your hand slowly lifts off the lid, with Simon's eyes as curious as yours, but he desired your reaction more than ever. Your hopeful eyes sparkled as your brain analysed the image captured by your eyes.
No way. No fucking goddammit way, you thought.
A dark purple vibrator. Sitting in all its glory in the red silky set of thin,red lingerie underneath it. BUT A GODDAMN VIBRATOR LIKE FOR REAL-
A piece of paper fell out from the underside of the lid, with your face providing a perfectly pathetic look for the dark, grimy mind of Simon. Definitely something was scrawled on it-
"A mould of mine, lovie"
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dear-slim · 5 months ago
Note
i just keep thinking about Eminem reacting to this new rapper girl (that he have been helping out in the music industry) and she releases a new song that is full Slim Shady Coded and he gets shock
(me & friend keeps talking abt this but we can't find anywhere a fic like itt
Warnings: swearing
Pairing: Eminem x fem!reader
A/N - MY FIRST REQUEST 😍😍 I gotchu boo, and excuse the cringe song name I made up at 10pm, half drunk and half asleep.
Also ChatGPT made these lyrics so don’t mind me
And, I wasn’t sure what you meant by slim shady coded, like, as in, something slim would sing or something related to him.
Dating another rapper wasn’t really what you expected when you joined the industry. Of course, it came with its classic ‘she’s only famous coz of Em’ bullshit, but you never paid mind to it.
Both you and your boyfriend knew perfectly well that you were a hit even before he’d entered the scene with you. All he’d done was promote your music with you, all of which was your own shit.
In his own words, he’d done nothing but be a good and supportive boyfriend, and he was right. Now, you usually ran your songs past Em, you wanted to know his thoughts and if he could make them better. After all, trust the pro, right?
But this song was a little different. You didn’t even know how you’d managed to keep it under the wraps, writing down lyrics in your notebook and staying up past when Em had fallen asleep to brainstorm lyrics.
Em was a key part of your life, he was helping your throughout the rough patches in your career, and the little surprise you’d planned was definitely something he deserved.
“Yo Em,” he heard a voice as he walked into the studio. Usually he’d hang with you, so he was pretty surprised when he heard a male voice coming from behind him, as he turned to see his long-time friend, 50.
“What’s good?” Em said, a little dazed, as he gave his friend a fist bump nonetheless. “Was just listening to some samples from your girl,” 50 explained as Em raised a brow.
“Some samples, hm? What song? She ain’t been writing one for a bit,” Em said, his eyes narrowed a little suspiciously. Em managed to catch a CD that 50 had thrust had thrust chest, as he walked over to the player, still a little bemused.
It was unlike you to keep a song hidden from him, as the tune to some song started.
Welcome to the circus, where the clowns run free,
Life’s a wicked game, and I’m holding the key.
Got the world on a string, watch the puppets dance,
In a realm of absurdity, I’ll take my chance.
Holy shit, that was crazy. He hadn’t expected a sudden change of style…and wow, it was damn hot, actually. He found his cheeks tinged a slight pink ad he thought about it, how you’d look in the studio, with the lyrics…
Yo, I’m rolling with the Shady, chaos in his eyes,
Life’s a wild ride, no need for disguise.
He’s a lyrical genius, wrapped up in a mess,
With a heart full of fire, but he’s got his stress.
He’s the king of the madness, got me feeling alive,
In a world of illusions, he’s the one who’ll survive.
With every twist and turn, I’m right by his side,
In this rollercoaster life, it’s a hell of a ride.
Em had to genuinely take out the CD, coz this was madness. He’d have never expected to see this from his girlfriend, even if you were a badass rap artist, but this was crazy. And extremely hot, at the same time.
“50! I said wait til I was here to show him,” he heard your voice as he turned round, eyes locking in yours, his lips parted in shock slightly as you flashed him a grin. “So?” you said, asking for his opinion as he spluttered, unable to formulate a sentence.
“Im taking that as a good sign,” you laughed nervously as he coughed. “A good sign?” he said, jaw going slack as he stared at you, “baby, this is amazing, this is gold!”. A proud smile jumped to your face at his words, cheeks tinged red.
“You think?” you asked a little sheepishly. “I think? No, baby, I know!” he said, hands coming to squeeze at your shoulders. This was gonna be a damn hit, and he was not complaining. Simply, just, further proof his girl deserved to be in the game.
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staybabblingbaby · 7 months ago
Text
Soulmate Garden AU Ch.1 (Dahlia) a2 d5
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[Caution: These are not full fics, or even full parts of fics for some, these are part of my writing progress archive!]
Concept: Growing up, you knew Soulmates weren't all that they cracked up to be. So when, on your 18th birthday, your skin is painted with a garden of flower buds, you resolve to hide it from everyone. Who had ever heard of someone with 8 soulmates, anyway?
Or; Reader has 8 soulmates and no issue avoiding all of them. It's up to SKZ to show her that while every soulbond might not be made of fairy tales, theirs certainly could be.
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Word Count: 5,368
Notes: My friend Tiny said this was very Wattpad era of me, so I'm so sorry that I'm cringe, guys. She also said she loved it and I am also p satisfied w it, so. Celebrations! It's also fucking long for me, like damn. Chill. I do have some disclaimers abt this tho. 1) I have never been to a k-pop concert, I am doing my best working off of what videos, vlogs, blogs, and Quora and Reddit answers for this. I'm very sorry if it's horribly inaccurate. Also it's idealized so it'd gonna be inaccurate 2) Covid never happened in this universe! Send-offs for everyone!
Dividers by @saradika
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Warnings: She/Her Reader, sort of dissociating? ish?
Leave me comments or questions or anything! Love hearing from folks <3
Masterlist <3 | Prev Part | Next Part
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“Yes, Ma, I promise I’m doing just fine,” You grunt into your phone, tucking the device between your cheek and shoulder as you juggle your groceries and try to dig out your keys, “No one has tried to mug me, I’m eating well, and the job is the same as the last time you called.”
You manage to both open your door and kick it shut as your mother replies, “I just worry about you dear. You’re so far away from us now, what if you need help?”
You waddle to your kitchen counter to offload your burdens, stretching your cramping fingers out as you go to properly hold your phone again.
“I know, Ma, but I’m sure I’ll make some friends with time and then they can help me out.” you finally reply with a sigh. You begin the arduous task of actually putting your groceries away, resigned to the fate of a functional adult.
You hear your sister bark out a laugh in the background. It’s possibly about hearing ‘you’ and ‘friends’ in the same sentence (Which, ouch. True, but ouch). You magnanimously ignore her.
“Honey, I love you, but it’s been almost a year. You have yet to tell me about a single friend.” Your Mom retorts. Again, ouch.
“I have Taylor!” You defend, slamming your fridge shut with a pout.
“Your roommate doesn’t count!” Your little sister taunts from the background. You hear your mother shush her but her agreement is implied when she doesn’t correct the little gremlin.
“He so does!” You argue, “We hang out in contexts that are not work or school, we eat meals together, and we’re even going to a concert this weekend! That’s friends! That’s best friends, even.” You sound a bit pathetic even to yourself, but the day your sister wins over you is the day you die.
“That’s a friendly roommate,” Is your sister’s amused response, “I bet you don’t even know what his favorite color is.” Your silence is answer enough, and she cracks up, laughing so hard that you hear a muted thump as she falls off of whatever furniture she’d been occupying.
Guess you’re dying today.
Your mother changes the subject to the goings-on of your hometown while your sister asphyxiates in the background. You’ve only been away for a little under a year now, but as you listen to her talk about which of your littlest cousins are starting school and which of your relatives are causing drama, you realize that it’s already been a little under a year.
You flop onto your couch as your mom babbles away, holding back an existential crisis.
Your fingers begin tracing the long-since memorized lines of your soulmark over your clothes as you ponder the passing of time, fully zoned out of your mother’s gossip. Your sister seems to catch on to your long silence, interrupting you mother to pester you into giving her more material to taunt you over.
“What concert are you going to, anyway?” She questions.
“Oh, it’s a K-Pop group called Stray Kids,” You tell her. You can practically feel her interest shrivel up and die as soon as you say K-Pop, bless her elitist, snobby, little heart. “Taylor likes them a lot, and his boyfriend dumped him last month, so I got some good tickets to cheer him up.”
Your mother coos at you briefly before your sister overtakes the conversation again, “Are they even good?” You can hear the sneer in her voice as she falls into Music Snob (tm) mode, so you roll your eyes when you reply.
“They’re fun to dance to when I’m doing chores, so that’s good enough for me.”
“You can’t even understand them.” She complains.
“I can, actually.” You inform her primly, “My language elective was Korean. I took the whole course.”
“You’re a weirdo.”
“Tell that to my sweet, sweet, degree, kiddo.” It’s finally your turn to taunt.
“Whatever, you’re not even going with a friend, just your roommate. How fun could it be?” She pouts back.
“I told you, we are friends! Best friends, even!”
“You still don’t know his favorite color.” She retorts smugly.
“I know his favorite flower, that’s gotta count for something!” Your mother hums in agreement, and you picture her watching your bickering like a tennis match, assigning points in her head.
“It doesn’t, because you know everyone’s favorite flower! You know the mail guy’s favorite flower! It’s like an obsession.” You picture your sister rolling her eyes at you, exasperation pouring off of her. The image makes you grin as you reply.
“Only if it’s still Jim. I haven’t been around to ask anyone new.” You point out. Reasonably, you think, but for some reason your sister lets out a loud groan of annoyance and you hear her exaggerated stomps ass she removes herself from your presence. Your mother lets out an amused little huff and you imagine you’ve won the tennis match in her head.
No death for you today. Score!
Your mom yaps with you for a little longer, before finally bidding you farewell, telling you that you should call more often (like you don’t chat literally every Friday afternoon like clockwork), tell your dad to come home soon if you happen to call him (you won’t. He won’t either), and tell her all about how the concert goes next week. You promise to do that one easily.
When she hangs up, you’re left with the ringing silence of an empty apartment. Moving to LA has been a quieter experience than you’re used to in general, for many reasons. Sure, the city itself is louder than your little suburb by miles, but life has been... More peaceful, since. Quieter.
It still makes you uneasy, even 10 months later.
You get up from the couch and drift off to your room like a ghost, opening Spotify on your way. The opening notes of Ruth B’s Lost Boy and a something nauseous swirling in your gut is all that follows you.
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On concert morning, you’re woken up bright and early by your air-horn of a roommate slamming your door open.
“Concert daaaaaaaaay~” He trills at you from the doorway. You don’t even open your eyes when you roll over and throw a pillow at him in protest. A soft ‘oof’ tells you that you hit your mark for once. Nice.
“Nice shot!” Taylor cheers, “But now I have your ammo, so it’s up time.”
You roll over again, taking the edge of your blanket with you and tossing it over your head. You pull a stuffed animal under with you, and curl tightly around it.
“Nmf gmf.” You grumble at him through a mouthful of fluff.
“Nuh-uh!” Taylor tuts, already fluent in Morning Grumble, “We gotta get up. There’s food to be eaten, outfits to put on, and lines to beat!”
You let out a long, agonized, groan, but obligingly roll over and starfish out with childish protest. Taylor waits until you open your eyes to glare at his annoyingly cheerful blond bedhead before he leaves your doorway with a sunny smile. Smug bastard.
He leaves your door open too, the shit, allowing the sweet smell of french toast and eggs to drift into your room. You sit up with a whiney groan, scrubbing harshly at your face.
You’d forgive him this time. Just for the french toast.
You lean over to grab your phone from your bedside table, just waking the screen to check the time. When the numbers register you lay right the way back down with another long wail of protest.
Four in the morning. That french toast had better be fucking good.
You eventually stumble into the kitchen and are promptly handed a very large and very welcomed cup of coffee. Taylor hands you a plate piled high with french toast and eggs, fruits and toppings already out, before you can even try to start bitching at him.
You take in the spread with a furrowed brow, before slowly lifting your head to pin Taylor with a suspicious stare.
“My dude, it is four in the morning. How?”
Taylor just shrugs at you. “Couldn’t sleep. Too excited.”
You nod slowly at him. “I’ll drive. You’re napping in the car.”
This triggers a round of outraged whining from your sleep-deprived roommate, which you cull by pointing out that headaches and concerts are an awful combo. He subsides but insists he’ll be even more excited in the car, since it’s closer to concert time. You tell him to do it anyway.
“Why are we up so early in the first place?” You complain as you drain the last dregs of your drink. “The concert isn’t for, like, fifteen hours.”
“The concert is only fifteen hours away! Countdowns have already started, mark my words!” Taylor counters, “You got us Soundcheck tickets! VIP! We have to take advantage! I want the entire experience. Freebies, insane merch lines, sponsor booths, everything.” He gets more and more incensed as he goes on, leaning farther over the table, his shirt almost dragging in the puddles of syrup on his plate.
You raise your hands in surrender to his wild-eyed look. “Whatever,” You concede, “You’re the boss, this is your day.”
Taylor nods in satisfaction, leaning back. You notice that he actually does take some syrup with him as he re-seats himself. “As it should be.” Is his prim reply.
You sort of just laugh at him, and your routine of friendly bickering continues as the two of you make quick work of fixing up the kitchen.
You two split off to get ready, Taylor demanding a leave time of 6am sharp. You do your best to appease him, dressing up enough to say you put effort in, but paying mind to comfort over style. You’re putting the last touches on your eye liner when Taylor barges in.
You give him a stink eye for not knocking, which he blissfully ignores as he looks over you top to bottom. He summarily declares you “Good, but not good enough” and stampedes over to raid your closet.
At this point in your cohabitation you’ve learned to just let him do his thing when he gets like this. He doesn’t let you dress yourself when you go clubbing with his friends either, the jerk. Your fashion sense is perfectly acceptable, thank-you-very-much.
He tells you you’re being assigned a bias for today based on your wardrobe as he tosses you a white and navy stripped polo shirt and some navy sweatpants with racer strips on the side. He pulls up a reference photo on your phone and tells you to accessorize while he goes to find an appropriate tie from his stash for you.
Looking at the picture of Han Jisung on your screen, you admit that the outfit is pretty close already. You decide to leave the polo’s buttons undone, grabbing a white camisole to put on under. Your accessories take a bit longer, and you can’t see the shoes to match those, but Taylor seems satisfied enough when he comes back.
He hands you a tie and a handful of pins to complete your look and begins pushing you out the door before you can even put them on properly. When you protest this he insists that the two of you are running late, despite the concert still being more than 13 hours away.
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You do, in fact, make him sleep in the car. He does not appreciate this, but early morning traffic can lull even the most dutiful of soldiers to sleep. He’s somehow even more chipper than usual when he wakes up, despite being groggy and bleary-eyed.
The crowd, when the two of you arrive, isn’t as big as you were expecting it to be. With all of Taylor’s rushing, you’d expected to barely be able to see the doors. The merch booth he was so excited about isn’t even open yet, and he settles the two of you into the line to enter the venue instead of camping there.
It’s immediately obvious who the extrovert between the two of you is, Taylor’s bouncy blond head beginning to duck and weave among the small crowd as soon as you claim your spot, laughs and excited exchanges popping up wherever he stopped. You, on the other hand, stay exactly where you’d been left and fiddle around on your phone, Taylor’s clear backpack abandoned in your arms.
You’re pretty sure this is purposeful on his part. You know each other well enough by now that he’s well aware of your tendency to stay planted once you’re settled. You’re definitely being used to stake out your spot. You steal one of his granola bars as payment for your services.
An hour or so drags through, and Taylor has thoroughly befriended most of the people around you. Once he’s decided that it’s about time to line up for some of the merch booths, Taylor leaves you in the tender care of the other fans as he goes to stake out a spot. He gracefully accepts both your wallet and your request of “a t-shirt and something they can sign”
The group of four people behind you, in particular, take his (only semi-joking) request of “take care of my introvert for me” seriously.
“So are you a Han bias?” One asks you as Taylor prances off. Her outfit is majority blue, little Bbokari (You can admit that the little characters charm you. You probably know their names better than the Stray Kids themselves) hair clips and keychains decorating her person.
You look down at yourself and then back up at her, almost having forgotten that you were dressed up as him. “Ah, no. Taylor, my friend, dressed me this morning. We’re here for him today. Though, he did say Han was my assigned bias today.” You laugh nervously, hoping they don’t judge your lack of knowledge.
Thankfully none of them seem discouraged by your response, giggling along with your little joke. In fact one of them, dressed head to toe in merch, seems almost excited by the prospect.
“Are you a baby Stay then?” She asks you with sparkling eyes. You wave your hands in front of yourself a bit defensively.
“Ah, no. I wouldn’t go that far. I like their music when Taylor plays it around the apartment, but I wouldn’t consider myself part of the fandom. This is actually my first k-pop experience in general.” You explain, “When I say we’re here for him, I mean I am here in total ignorance.”
Another girl, dressed in a loud assortment of colors you vaguely recognize from the music video Taylor had on loop in your living room for a week and a half when it dropped, lets out a low whistle. “Throwing you right into the deep end, huh? Hardcore.”
The group of you laugh a bit, the only guy in their group agreeing with, “Well if you’re not a fan now, you will be when you leave. Their performances are amazing, honestly.”
You absorb the gushing with an open heart, truly hoping for that to be the case. You take this opportunity to take the spotlight off of yourself.
“Oh, have you guys been to a Stray Kids concert before? It’s Taylor’s first.”
That question is the key to the floodgates, and you end up spending the next 3 and a half hours waiting for Taylor’s return (with text updates from the man himself, assuring you that he is still where he’s supposed to be) being regaled with tales of concerts, events, and comebacks past. You feel a bit like you’re getting a crash course in all things Stray Kids, phones often popping out to show you clips, fancams, and photos.
It makes you smile, feeling very included and welcomed as you occasionally pepper in a question or two to keep them going. It’s just like dinners at the apartment with Taylor, him unloading his stress through fandom, and you unloading yours through listening to his ramblings.
This is exactly why you came with him today.
Taylor makes his return loaded down with goodies both purchased and gifted by other fans, to which you welcome him by cheering loudly. This triggers your new group to do the same. Somehow, the five of you cheering leads to a large portion of the early crowd, which had grown by the hour, cheering with you.
You feel a bit shy at the power you apparently hold, and laugh about it with your new friends.
Eventually Taylor and Merch Girl (you hadn’t managed to catch any of their names, you realize belatedly. It’d be too awkward to ask now. You resolve to simply Not Address Them) split off to do more rounds among other fans, distributing their own freebies.
You hadn’t even realized Taylor had made freebies. You’re also not sure how he found the time. Love finds a way, you suppose.
The other group’s Token Guy Friend (who will always been Token Guy to you, so sorry Token Guy) passes the conversation back to you. Not appreciated, Token Guy.
You can’t be all that mad though, as he shuffles through his bag to produce a piece of paper and a chisel-tipped sharpie. He passes the items to you with a grin.
“If you’re close to the stage you should have a sign! You might get an interaction that way!” He enthuses. The remaining girls cheer at the idea, sighing over the possibility of you getting an interaction at your very first concert.
You hold back correcting them that it’s just your first k-pop concert. You’re sure that’s what they mean anyways, as the experience so far has been quite different from your usual.
You look at the items in your hand, and then back at him. He offers to let you use his back to write on. You once again stare between his meticulous outfit and the sharpie in your hand. You are so not going to ruin someone’s day with what was supposed to be a kind gesture.
You motion for him to wait a moment and dig around in your own bag for a moment, the seat cushion Taylor had insisted you bring slapping you incessantly from where it hangs as you shuffle both your shoulder bag and Taylor’s backpack around. Eventually you manage to pull out your travel first aid kit, pulling a gauze pad from it.
You unclip the seat cushion from your bag and place it on the ground, motioning for Token Guy to kneel. He does so bemusedly.
“I’m gonna make it fancy,” You inform him, “those random calligraphy classes from high-school aren’t going to fail me today.” He makes a noise of assent and you’re crowding over his bent back, unfurling the gauze pad to make a barrier between the paper and his shirt.
He and the girls make their conversation around you as you sink into concentration. It’s very difficult to make nice, even, lines on an uneven surface like a back, and you have to keep gently slapping Token Guy’s shoulder when he laughs to remind him not to move.
Taylor and Merch Girl have returned by the time you finish your sign, Taylor laughingly cautioning any of them from breaking your concentration for anything less than Token Guy’s health. Unless they wanted to face your Wrath(tm), of course.
His advice seems to have been heeded, because by the time you tune back into the outside world you have a sign with very pretty (and most importantly - legible) calligraphy that reads:
[HAN! You’ve been assigned as my bias today! Make me fall for you?]
You even took the time to add Korean translations in smaller script beneath each line. You also take the time to admire your own foresight for laying out the gauze pad, small black marks littering it’s surface. Token Guy seems equally impressed when he looks at it, before taking the initiative to trash both it and the wrapper for you.
Merch Girl reads your sign when you proudly hold it in front of yourself and cackles.
“So that’s why he really brought you along, huh?” She teases, elbowing Taylor like they’re old friends. He has that effect on people. “She can talk to them for you if the Aussie line isn’t around.” Taylor gives a sheepish laugh and a faux-guilty shrug.
“That, and she bought the tickets. I couldn’t leave her behind if I tried.” He pokes at you as he speaks, mirth dancing in his eyes. Laughter erupts around the group as you shout your offence, making to start roughhousing with him like you do your sister.
The time passes joyously this way until the doors finally open to begin letting people in for sound check.
You’re not gonna lie, you’re already super tired and peopled out. Luckily, Taylor had clocked you flagging before even you had, and sent you to sit in “introvert time out” on your cushion in a shaded spot away from the crowd. So you could make it through sound check and the actual concert. Probably.
You and Taylor pass through security unscathed, having already eaten or trashed any snacks or drinks you’d brought with you, and having not bothered bringing much else. Both of your bags were just full of merch and freebies at this point.
Once you actually enter the venue you take the lead, dragging Taylor by the wrist to your seats. You’re actually super excited to show him the seats you’d gotten, having kept anything beyond ‘soundcheck’ a secret.
Taylor is already vibrating with excitement as you lead him to the floor seats. He’s nearly trembling as you lead him right up the center, past rows and rows of little white chairs erected for the reserved seating tickets. When you finally sit him down right in front of the thrust stage, plopping into the seat beside him with satisfaction, he turns to you with saucer-wide eyes.
“Noo...” He whispers.
“Oh, yes.” You return, blessing him with a grin and little eyebrow wiggle.
Taylor basically tackles you in a hug, almost knocking you into the person next to you, and squeals his thanks so loudly that you’re sure the entire stadium hears. When he’s done thanking you he pulls back, hands on your shoulders, with the most deadly serious eyes you had ever seen on him.
“I would die for you.” He intones lowly. You crack first, the two of you breaking into a giggle fit that was almost concerning with it’s intensity. When the two of you calm down and turn to settle and sit properly, he nudges your shoulder with his.
“Seriously,” He says, eyes soft, “You’re the best ever. You need anything from today on? I’m your guy.”
You chuckle at him, nudging him back, “Do my dishes for the next month, then.” You tease.
He rears back, hands up in joking surrender, “Woah, woah! Let’s not go that far! I meant if you needed to escape from the mob or something, not chores.” He gives an exaggerated shudder before breaking into his usual silly grin.
The two of you spend the next however long indulging in familiar banter, waving at the group of fans you’d made friends with outside when you spotted them not terribly far away, and generally recharging your batteries for the concert. Taylor eventually moves on to talking to the people around you, and you rest your head on his shoulder.
You close your eyes for just a moment, trying to turn the lights off in your brain for a bit. You really needed the music to start soon, you were going to fall asleep.
Almost as if in answer to your prayers, the group begins trickling on stage for sound check.
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To be honest, both soundcheck and the concert pass in a blur for you.
Once things kick off, you’re swept away in a wave of cheers, music, and lights. You hadn’t expected front row seats to be quite as intense as they were, but you made a note to yourself to not book such tickets for yourself in the future.
You couldn’t really handle it.
Still, Taylor seems to have the time of his life, and you manage to immerse yourself in the concert enough to shake your sign at Han when he passes by, earning yourself a wink and a cheek heart. Taylor was nearly euphoric at having caught the interaction with his phone camera.
By the time it’s over, you’re fairly sure you had a good time, but also 100% sure that you were completely overwhelmed. Taylor manages to drag you to the send off that you paid for spots at anyway. Curse his charming, sunny demeanor.
You can’t really process how it happened at this point, but you end up practically pinned to the railing of the barricade at the send-off location, separated from Taylor, and clinging to your façade of an excited fan with a white knuckled grip. You have three things on you to get signed, and a mission from Taylor to get all three scribbled on.
Your sign for Han, a ballcap Taylor had customized, and a Lee Know photocard Taylor had entrusted to you with a gravity you weren’t sure it warranted. He had, like, three of the same one.
You try to drum up the determination to see your mission through, but find it difficult to dredge up any will at all.
Time waits for no man, however, and soon enough the members begin making their way through, delivering high-fives, autographs, and aegyo as they pass through. You end up squished almost violently to the railing, ducking a bit and making yourself as small as possible as hands, phones, and items all get waved around and over you.
You’re not sure you like send-off.
There’s so many noises and sights and smells that you have a really hard time keeping track of which member is where. Plus, you’re still a lot overwhelmed from lining up before dawn and the concert itself. You’re tired, you’re cranky, and you want to go home.
At some point Lee Know must pass by you, and you must have presented the photocard properly, because you have a signed one now. That’s cool. The faster you get the requested autographs, the faster you can leave.
Bangchan spawns in front of you from the aether, from your point of view. You may be a bit more out of it than you’d like to admit. Still, you dutifully hold out your ballcap for him to sign, exchanging post-concert niceties on pure autopilot.
Because you’re not all that present at the moment, or maybe because all you’d had was your breakfast and some granola bars in the last 13 hours, you don’t hold your balance the way you should when someone shoves at you from behind. You catch yourself on the railing, but you dropped the freshly signed cap.
Bangchan kindly stoops to pick it up for you, and you thank him. A couple of things happen very quickly at that point.
1) Unlike the first two exchanges of the cap, because of the awkward and quick nature of Bangchan’s action, it is no longer being handed to you with lots of space between your hand and his.
2) You’re still being jostled around. No matter how much you brace for the impact of the bodies surrounding you, you couldn’t possibly keep totally still.
3) These two things have a consequence. Your hand brushes Chan’s as he hands you the cap.
The world stops for you for a moment, as pins and needles stab into dozens of familiar spots all across your lower abdomen. You freeze, dumb, awkward, overwhelmed smile plastered to your face as Bangchan turns away from you.
The pain isn’t that bad, really, more like a bad period cramp mixed with a sleeping limb waking up. Still, you curl your arm around your stomach, and your body bows with the motion. As if you could protect your reality from shattering and reshaping itself in front of you.
Static fills your ears and your poor, overloaded, brain throbs with the beginnings of a migraine.
Bangchan is your soulmate.
International k-pop sensation Bangchan is one of your eight soulmates.
Bangchan is part of a group with eight members.
Your soulmate is already moving away from you, your minor interaction just a footnote of his day, the tingling pain of your soulmate bond awakening probably blending in with a thousand other minor aches and pains from a very physically intense day for him.
You come back to clarity with the resolve that you’d like it to stay that way.
With a sense of urgency, you look around the crowd you’re part of, noting distinct faces and colors for the first time. You’re not really sure what you’re looking for until you spot it, and suddenly your escape plan is fully formed.
There, just a couple shoves and elbow throws away, is Blue Bbokari Girl from this morning.
You struggle your way over, people falling into the space you’d left at the railing like a pack of hyenas on fresh meat. When you reach her you the gently at her sleeve to get her attention.
She turns to you with confusion first, a bright greeting next, and finally a concerned scrunch of her brow as she takes in your hunched form.
“Hey, I’m feeling kind of sick, can you help me get out of the crowd?” You’re sure you look convincingly pathetic and weak as you plead with her. If only because you really did feel pathetic and weak at the moment.
“Oh, of course, hun! Just a moment.” She begins to crane her neck around to scan the crowd like you’d done moments prior. You feel a bit bad for interrupting her night like this, but as she calls out to someone behind her, you’re more thankful than anything.
Blue Bbokari Girl successfully gets the attention of someone you don’t recognize, and a quick summary of, “She’s sick, help her leave!” shouted over the crowd has you being passed through the crowd unmolested.
You find yourself enveloped in a chain of fans, one passing you to another, pausing, and calling on someone else to pass you to until you’ve finally stumbled free of the send-off mob.
Feeling a bit like you’d just been spat out of the maw of a great creature, you look back at the rustling crowd, now looking like it had never been disturbed at all.
The last lady who had finally freed you, an older woman with a Jiniret picket, eyes you with concern as you put you back to the nearest wall and slide down it.
“Will you be okay, sweetie?” She questions you worriedly, “Do you have anyone to pick you up?”
You smile weakly at her and assure her that you just have to get ahold of your roommate and he’d get you home safe and sound. She tries to insist on waiting with you, but you persuade her to return to the crowd with promises that you’d make your way to a bathroom or security guard once the worst of your vertigo had passed.
You watch her return with morbid fascination, amazed when she just sort of gets absorbed back into the mass of people. Almost like it ate her. You once again marvel at making it out of such a thing unscathed.
Truth be told, your stomach was only sore and tender this point, the sharp, needle-point pains long gone. Still, you take a moment to bring your knees to your chest, just breathing as you press your forehead to them. If anyone were to look at you then, you wonder what they’d think of you curled up on the floor and trembling like your dog had just died.
You hope they’d view you with kindness.
After giving yourself a moment to just feel, though you couldn’t tell anyone what you had felt, you gather yourself enough to totter to your feet and drag yourself to the nearest bathroom. You text Taylor as you go.
[Hey. Felt sick, in bathroom rn. lmk when we can leave pls?]
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mxyirin · 1 year ago
Text
Yandere!Gaara
warnings: yandere!gaara, younger!gaara, older!reader, female!reader, non-confirmed age gap but not the illegal kind, normal yandere themes, pronouns used are she/her, unreliable narrative so reader is referred as '[name]' or you
― 𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐏 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐒
▸ There was one thing Gaara thought that he liked among the darkness.
▸It happened to be [Name], the daughter of the owner of the local florist in Suna. 
▸To the little redhead, [Name] had been light when he was shunned by everyone, even his own family, who were scared of him.
▸She was the reason he lived.
▸Offeriong him sweet candies secretly whenever she could or offering to teach him about the flowers in the shop.
▸When her parents decided to travel the world when [Name] was old enough, she took over the shop.
▸At the same time he became the Kazekage.
▸Gaara continued to woo her so that he could win her affection.
▸He didn't succeed until the tailed beast was separated from him, making him more rational.
▸Without the beast, his obsession grew but didn't leak that would make [Name] run away from him.
▸Gaara and [Name], would be forever together.
You stepped on the hard tiles of your shared home as softly as possible to not alert a certain redhead.
Only to open the door to your bedroom to see Gaara with his arms crossed.
His sea-green eyes seemed too intense as they gazed upon you, making you cringe and step back.
"Where were you?" Gaara asked, his tone was calm but underneath that facade was a possessive man who didn't want you to stay away from him. 
"You left without telling me." His tone tune accusatory making you gulp as your mind raced to what you could say to him.
"I just wanted some... some fresh air." Your voice turned timid as you finished the sentence making those cold green eyes soften to a degree.
"You know how dangerous the world is right?" When you nod, he continues: "Don't go without informing or I won't be able to protect you."
He wanted to have some ninjas guard you from the shadows but betrayal was easy, especially among humans, he thought about how his friend Naruto had summoning frogs and thought he should also do the same.
"You wanted fresh air right, let's go." Gaara dragged your body into his arms and held you close.
The relationship was nice in the beginning, you felt flattered that such a high-ranked man wanted you.
Soon, you realised that the rose too had its thorns.
You were isolated and while you were introverted in nature, it didn't mean you absolutely disliked every human interaction.
There were some people you liked but in the end, even they drifted apart because of Gaara who used all the tactics so you could only rely on him.
With everyone running away in fear, your flower shop was forced to be closed making you rely on Gaara even more now that he had the power in the monetary terms as well.
There was no space for you, you thought to yourself.
Then a hand gripped your wrist tightly making you wince.
"Who are you thinking about?" The dark undertone in Gaara's voice made you shiver and he tightened the grip on your wrist.
"No one." You replied trying to get back your wrist which was now hurting.
"Really?" 
Seeing you nod, Gaara loosened the grip on your hand and you could see the skin become bruised under the harsh grip.
The redhead clicked his tone as he gently brushed his fingers on the dark bruise on your wrist
"See, how will you live without me?"
He loved you too much, he could not let you go.
Gaara would never let you go.
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character: gaara anime name: naruto requested: dinxx_vii
a/n: i was originally gonna write manipulative reader again but i felt i need to write something different this time.
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theycalledhimastar · 9 months ago
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if you are comfortable with writing Nikolai :
Can you write something similar like Neithboir price but with Nikolai?
Maybe reader being IT assisnat for 141 and having their car broken ? Or reader being new 141 Solider and needing help with something in their office?
Also bonus points if reader will be masc 👉👈
>w< anon~
Aaaaack! Absolutely! I have no clue why I didn't get a notification for this, tumblr is stinky like that! Let's get some Nikolai love up in here >:3
Nikolai x M!reader (Fluff!)
(Likely inaccurate but whatever, we ball you guys)
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☄. *.
Your day had already been a total shitshow, from the moment your alarm failed to wake you up. Tumbling out of bed, you already had a creeping feeling that today was going to be... a long one. Your boots just didn't feel quite right, your sleep posture probably wasn't right so now your neck was sore and stiff, and your mood was positively foul.
Morning Training wasn't any better, truth be told. You felt like a rookie all over again, practically embarrassing yourself with your clumsy performance. The fresh bruises attested to the morning's lousy work as you trudged to the showers. Where, of course the water was cold, you couldn't complain, but you wanted to.
The shitty breakfast felt worse than normal, the coffee more bitter and gritty than it was supposed to be. The coffee grinds trapped in your teeth making you cringe all through your afternoon routine. Why couldn't you catch a break? Nobody else seemed to notice what was so horrible, that only added to it all, really.
The straw that broke the camel's back, was when your computer simply refused to cooperate in the middle of your paperwork. Of course, because why the hell not? You buried your face in your hands, wanting to scream and throw the stupid device. Unfortunately, you couldn't do that, you needed it for other work matters. So you were forced to ask around to see if anyone could help you with the slow, laggy, uncooperative piece of shit.
Naturally, nobody really knew what exactly to do, offering a choir of "try turning it on and off again". That, or they just didn't care and opted to shrug off your issues. You were ready to give up, practically banging your head against the wall when a gentle hand on your shoulder interrupted your meltdown. You had seen Nikolai around base a few times, chatted a little bit here and there and you liked him well enough...
A normal amount...
Totally...
"What's wrong sergeant?"
That alone was enough to make you start ranting about the horrible day you were having. Your alarm, training, breakfast, the showers, your computer, everything that had plagued you all thrown onto the older man. Nik just took it like a champ, nodding and agreeing every couple of sentences while gently ushering you back to your office so that he could fix your "stupid computer".
"I cannot help with the coffee, that stuff is always horrible. But I know a thing or two about computers if you would like some assistance."
You stand to the side, watching Nik type over your computer. You try not to let your gaze linger too long on his dexterous fingers as they swiftly move over the keyboard. Now is definitely not the time to make things awkward, but you can't help yourself. The fatherly figure has always been your type, and that accent has become your weakness the more time you have spent around him. You knew it was futile, he probably barely noticed you. You were new to the force and barely spoke to him for fear of embarrassing yourself horrendously. But still, one could daydream.
Meanwhile, Nik was more than aware of your not-so-subtle staring. He tried to attribute it to you trying to watch what he did to try it yourself next time. But when he realized you were staring at his hands and not the screen, he knew that wasn't it. While he was flattered by a young, fresh sergeant like yourself taking such interest in himself, he wasn't going to entertain the thought himself. Problems came about when you thought too long about that kind of thing.
"Alright, that should do it I think. These things are touchy sometimes. You just have to have that magic touch I guess."
He held up his hands with a grin, turning to stand up fully from his hunched over position. The way you stared at his raised hands sending a pang of pride straight to his chest. Maybe he could entertain it a little bit...
You stumbled over yourself to thank him, offering a favor of some kind, but he just brushed it aside. Ever the generous one, he wasn't going to expect anything for some simple computer fix. You silently wished that he would have accepted, you would've had an excuse to talk to him again later on. Alas, you would simply have to gather up the courage for another time. Although, when he patted you firmly on the back to leave and get to his own work, you very quickly decided that the day wasn't so bad after all...
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lizardkingeliot · 17 days ago
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Hey! I hope you don't mind me asking but what's your first draft writing process like? You manage to write so much so quickly and it's incredibly impressive! I often get really stuck with my WIPs, just crawling along at a snail's pace when I can even make myself work on them at all, so I was wondering if you have any helpful tips for just getting words down. Thanks!
The advice I always give is write your draft as messy as you need to. The sentences don't have to be pretty in a first draft. Sometimes they'll come out exactly as you want them to but oftentimes they're going to be clunky and that's fine. Seriously, it's fine. You're going to edit them later. You can edit as much as you need to. You can rewrite the same sentence a hundred times when the time comes. The first draft doesn't need to be seen by anyone else, it's mostly a roadmap for the version of yourself that has to make The Pretty Draft happen. It's just there so you can Get The Ideas Out.
And the ideas you're getting out don't even have to be the ideas that are going to be in your final draft. I oftentimes write things in my first drafts that I cringe at when I start editing, but it's okay because I can just take them out and write something else that feels better. And knowing what Feels Better often comes easier after you've already written the first, messier version and you've had a little time to sit with it.
It is also very important to set aside a little time for writing every day if you really want to stick to it. Writing is like exercising a muscle to make it stronger, and the stronger that muscle gets the easier the process is going to be. It doesn't even have to be a ton of time! Sometimes I only have 10-20 minutes but if you do that every day it really adds up. You can make a lot of story happen in 10-20 minutes if you do it every day.
tl;dr Just keep writing and don't look back. It doesn't have to be pretty now you can make it pretty later. But most importantly:
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yurinaa-world · 1 year ago
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hello!! platonic dr ratio with a teen!student reader who excels at one particular subject but is bad or average on the others? also lacks social skills
(kinda inspired by me lol 💀)
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𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓈: Dr. Ratio platonic! x Gender-neutral Reader
𝒮𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: with student reader who excels at one subject but is bad at the others + lacks social skills
𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: Fluff and spelling mistakes, got lil personal
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𝒱𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓉𝒶𝓈 𝑅𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜
He’s so strict about your grades, looking at you with disappointment as if a parent would when their child an F. What? does the information just go through and out one ear? (it does for me 😀)  Can your brain handle one sentence at a time since it doesn’t look like it to him with these embarrassing grades?
He immediately got you into summer school so you could at least try to get good at other subjects, one subject won’t get you a future. Even worse with fact you can’t even talk without staring endlessly at your paper contemplating just to ask him the most simple question.
The man knows no mercy, making you write out several essays over the whole summer but just like every teacher that wants to suck the souls from students he’ll make you plan every tad bit of detail, even refuse you from starting to write if one detail isn’t explained and well thought out enough for him.
Then oh don’t forget to make the rough draft of the essay (it’s more like writing the real essay itself with the way he’s being strict with every typo & grammar mistake, but oh don’t think you're going to get this using simple and basic words like “in conclusion.” or “well, I believe.” Throw those out the window along with every other basic sentence that people use to put up the word count or just get the whole thing over with. He isn't accepting it. No exceptions.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Blank.
You’ve been staring at the next part of your sentence but unsure how to use the word “Magnanimity”. How were you even supposed to use this in a sentence?! (he made you pick several high-level words to use in an essay), you look up to silently curse your teacher, Mr. Ratio out in your head before immediately looking back down when your eyes connect.
You begin to contemplate, that maybe jumping out the window ain’t bad, it might be your only way to get out of here. you sigh, just giving up on your constant stalling, getting up from your chair (with your paper in hand) and walking over to your teacher, dreading every step you take.
Before stopping at his desk, “Mr. Ratio, could you tell me what the definition is for magnanimity again?” He just sighs, closing up the book he always reads. (You don’t know why he always reads the same thing, it’s so boring.)
“Magnanimity means the loftiness of spirit enabling one to bear trouble calmly, to disdain meanness and pettiness, and to display a noble generosity.”
you stare at him blankly, he wasn’t kidding, he seriously expected you to know what he was saying?! “I’m sorry but what does that even mean?” you whisper your voice cracking with frustration, you just feel a blood vessel getting bigger.
He sighs once again “Showing kindness towards an enemy or you had been defeated in battle. using it in a sentence would be like he showed magnanimity towards his enemy, understand?” 
“Oh, okay. Thank you Mr. Ratio” You nod taking in his words. “Let me see your essay.” He tells you out of the blue, holding his hand out to see your paper, which makes your mouth dry. “you have something written, correct? Let me see it.”
You give him your paper and watch in nervousness before he begins to read out loud “A great man once spoke mighty wor-“ “Mr ratio please read it in your head!”  you cut him off with panic, yet what a fool you are since when was he merciful? “a great man once spoke mighty words…”
Listening to him read your essay made you cringe and close your ears. He’s the worst!
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if you liked this, consider tipping me on ko-fi! it'd mean a lot!
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pokechbi · 1 year ago
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hi love! would you be able to write a request for ghost x psychiatrist!femreader 👀 who works with task force 141 but she spends her sessions with ghost who always ends up fucking her 😈 (highly unprofessional ik but she melts for him )
also i LOVE your work sm, can I be 🧠 anon?🥺
i have risen :3
Got this idea from this lovely anon <33 tysm!!! Much luv to u bb!! Happy to say that I am making this one a continuing story!!! (dw i havent forgotten ab the other ones lol)
Healing Simon (chapter 1)
Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem Reader
NSFW!! MDNI
Fem reader, fem anatomy used
WC: 1.2K
Enjoy <33
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚˚
“As for your past, Lieutenant, we’ll be sure to discuss that when you’re ready. If you’re ever ready. Not that there’s anything wrong with wanting to keep it private. Sometimes, there are things we must keep to ourselves no matter what. You don’t owe me, or anyone else an explanation.” You end your sentence calmly, knowing you had the tendency to ramble. Sometimes your clients didn’t need to hear it all at once. It’s how you kept them coming back. How you kept him coming back. 
He looks past your shoulders, out of the window behind you. Your clients had the tendency to do so, since the view from the window was mesmerizing. You folded your legs, gently swinging your leg over the other and feeling the leather of the chair peel away from your thigh. You looked behind you, glancing in the same direction he was looking. The tall trees swayed in the fall wind, moving in unison as if to purposely entrance their observers. You felt weirdly jealous of them at times. They seemed to be more therapeutic to your clients than you were. You keep your eyes on him, hearing his breaths behind his balaclava ever so slightly. Deep, balanced and even. He was stoic in all the right ways, his expression never changing. You look downwards, observing the way his jacket hugs his muscles in all the right places. You take in his broad shoulders and chest, a slight heat simmering at your ears. Your eyes flutter upwards once again, noticing the sliver of skin on his neck peeking out from the gap between his balaclava and his jacket collar. You also notice the slight glint of his dog tag chain shining in the light coming from the window. Looking up at his eyes once again, you almost jump as you realize they’re on you. His stare is heavy, weighing your words back down your throat. 
You smile sweetly, capping your pen and sticking it inside your notebook, setting it on the small end table beside you. 
“Simon, our time is nearly up for today. Went by fast didn’t it?” You ask, trying to stir his attention away from the fact that he just caught you checking him out. You cringe internally, wondering if he’ll bring it up or not. 
“Yeah, it did.” His gruff voice comes out almost a whisper. His accent soft on your ears, his eyes seemingly peeling away at every layer of you each time he looked at you. His eyes flit down to your legs, and back up to your face. You smile at him, your heart doing somersaults in your chest as you fidget with your fingers. He stands suddenly, starting his walk to the door. You stand as well, slowly trailing behind him. The smell of him wafts into your nose. It was intoxicating. Addicting, even. A mix of settled cologne, the familiar scent of his laundry detergent mixing with his musky body odor. The smell of him took you by the throat and forced its way into your subconscious. You craved that smell, the manly, homely smell of him. 
He stops at the door, looking down at you. His height was significantly higher than yours, your head only reaching to his shoulder. You look up at him through your lashes, placing your hand on his back and rubbing ever so slightly. The muscles tense under your touch, but he doesn’t move. Not an inch. Your mind betrays you, the thought of what his skin might feel like under your nails as he split you open races through your head. 
“You did great today, Simon.” You say softly, giving him a reassuring pat on his back. His eyes flit between yours before he starts out of the door again. 
“Same time next week, love?” He asks. He had such a smug way of speaking. Such a smug way of making you weak in the knees without even touching you. And he knew it. You nod at him, smiling sweetly as you shut the door to your office. Placing your back on the door, you run your hands through your hair, hearing his footsteps fade down the hall towards the elevator. 
You walk over to your desk and sit down. The chair creaks under you, the silence of the office driving you insane. Your head raced with thoughts. All about him.
No one in the psychiatry ward had managed to keep consistent appointments with the Lieutenant. He was a hard nut to crack. The hardest you’d ever attempted. You were getting there, slowly but surely. People swarmed you with questions in the office, everywhere you went. 
“What does he talk about?” 
“How come he doesn’t talk with anyone else?”“Does he tell you anything about the missions?” 
“Have you seen his face?” 
“Doesn’t he scare you?” 
“Can you get his number for me?” 
Questions ranged from pure curiosity, to just downright trying to break patient-confidentiality. It pissed you off. They acted as if he were untouchable. Unlovable. All he needed was to be humanized. You couldn’t imagine how tired he was of his reputation around the base. Never being treated as a normal soldier. Not that he was a normal soldier, anyway. He had earned his rep. But you kept that to yourself. 
When his captain showed up in your office, slamming his file on your desk and begging you to make it work, you knew you had to. Price sat across from you, frustrated and scared of losing his best soldier. Not to war, or battle, but to his own mind. Simon had a nasty habit of bottling things up. Letting his thoughts get the best of him and letting them chip away at his sanity until he broke. He holed himself up, letting his trauma dictate who he was not only as a soldier, but as a person.
You hadn’t quite managed to persuade him into unpacking his past just yet. It seemed like an unattainable milestone some days, but others, you came mighty close to it. You spoke to Simon as a friend, not just as his psychiatrist. Each visit, you felt closer and closer to him. To his mind. 
As a professional, you knew it would be wrong to take your relationship outside of the two chairs he came to sit in once a week. You thought about him every time you had a quiet moment to yourself. It was becoming something you couldn’t control. It had gone to stealing glances, to unknowingly checking him out any chance you could get. He’d catch you every time, yet never said anything about it. 
But he kept coming back, right? The thought made your heart leap in your chest. 
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bookskeepers · 7 months ago
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third time's the charm ♡ chapter five
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content warnings: light, awkward, both of them don't really know how to talk to people, reader makes a tiktok reference, abs, bra mentioned, no nsfw, tsukishima might be ooc sorry lol
word count: 1,646
a/n: i am running out of gifs. also sorry if my writing feels british my internal monologue is the same voice as baldur's gate 3's narrator 💔
also sorry this took so long ? it sat in my drafts for a week holy shit
taglist: @wakashudou
previous ♡ masterlist ♡ next
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Tsukishima Kei has three rules he follows when he's hooking up with someone.
1. Keep all communication to Tinder.
2. No dilly dallying.
3. Do not stay the night.
Of course, rule 2 had some exceptions -- occasionally he'd watch a movie to lead up to the act, but no more than that. He views hookups as a business transaction: get the goods and dip. Luckily, both sides (usually) benefit.
♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡
He hadn't intended to stay the night at all after your romp together. He meant to help you back into your underwear, maybe cuddle for a few minutes, and then leave. But with the way your head rests against his chest, and with how comfortable you look, how is he supposed to say no?
Your hair is splayed out around you, strands tickling his skin. He finds himself absentmindedly tracing patterns on your near-bare back with his fingers as he scrolls through his phone with his free hand, willing exhaustion to hit. Your dorm bed, despite being the same as literally every other dorm bed, is somehow comfier than his own. Maybe it's because he's sharing it with you, although he's not sure.
More often than once, he catches himself observing your sleeping form. Your head is on his chest, your torso turned so that your boobs are pressed against his own torso. He can feel the silky material of your bra against him, and he wonders if you're uncomfortable. It looks like the wire's digging into your skin from his vantage point. One leg overlaps his own while the other remains straight on the mattress, and the arm he can see is splayed out on his ribs. He watches as your chest rises and falls slowly, the pattern of your breathing steady in your sleep.
"You fell asleep so quickly," he mumbles out loud, impressed. Part of him thinks you're a little stupid; who would let someone they just met stay the night? And why would you fall asleep so quickly on a stranger?
Another part of him finds it endearing, though. To be instantly trusted by someone in such a vulnerable state... it's not a feeling he's used to.
None of what just happened was what he was used to.
Sex is a fickle thing, he thinks. He has his own experience with it, most of it involving smooth R&B playing in the background, the music intermingling with the sound of skin-on-skin and feminine -- and occasionally masculine -- moans. It's never been without music, and there's never been conversation when the act's actually started.
He enjoyed the conversation, though. Listening to you try to form sentences while he went down on you was erotic in its own way. Maybe it was the teasing nature of it, or the way you'd gasp and fall silent, head thrown back in pleasure, before struggling to gather your thoughts and continue.
He finds that his eyes are drifting shut despite trying to keep them open, that he's playing with something very dangerous. After all, he thinks it wouldn't be too hard to get addicted to this: laying in a twin XL-sized bed that's too small for two people with you using him as a mattress more than you're using the actual mattress. The weight of you on his body is more comfortable than he'd ever admit to anyone, and your mannerisms and personality have already been etched into his brain. You're different.
The thought snaps him out of his reverie and he physically cringes. He doesn't think you're the kind of person who'd enjoy being told, "You're not like other people." In fact, he thinks you'd probably smack him, although he doesn't know you nearly well enough to be confident in this assumption (but he's right. You would smack him, only because you take comfort in knowing there are other people who are as weird as you, if not weirder).
When his eyes open again, sunlight is streaming through the window on the far side of the room. At some point during the night, you must've gotten up to put on a shirt -- his shirt, he realizes with a jolt -- because you're no longer laying against him bare-chested, instead now clad in a loose, black tee. He fumbles around for his phone, discovering it underneath his ass. He taps on the screen a few times, watching as it lights up with a photo of him and his volleyball club from high school. The time reads 10:32am, and you're out like a light. No one ever said sex wasn't tiring, though.
His movements must be disturbing your slumber, because you shift in your sleep. One of your legs ends up fully over him while his free arm ends up trapped between your body and his. You sure know how to make yourself comfortable, he thinks.
Slowly, delicately, he extricates himself from your hold, each move calculated as not to disturb your slumber. After all, he hadn't intended to stay the night -- vague memories of the mild shock on your face after you asked makes him think you hadn't originally intended to ask, either.
He pulls his pants on before remembering that there's a bit of a dilemma. You're wearing the shirt he came with, and he half-heartedly wonders if anyone's out and about on campus on a Saturday mid-morning. It's not that he's embarrassed of how he looks, he would just much rather be able to blend into the crowd with ease. Being shirtless would prevent that, probably.
If he was wearing athletic shorts, on the other hand, he could pretend he was going on a run. Alas, he wore jeans to your dorm. It seems his options were either leave and demand you return his shirt via Tinder, or--
"Where're you going?"
Your sleep-tinged voice cuts through his thought process, and he snaps his head up to look at you. It seems his movements were not calculated enough, since you're now awake. He watches as you blink sleep from your eyes, turning onto your back to stretch your limbs out in all directions with a quiet groan. You sit up in the bed, glancing from him to the shirt you're wearing. "This isn't mine," you say at last.
He lets out a slight chuckle. "No, that's mine. You must've put it on during the night. And I was just heading out, actually."
You let out a gasp, clapping your hands over your heart. "Without even saying goodbye? How cold. How cruel, Tsukishima. I'm heartbroken." Your tone is light, teasing; he can't help but smile in response.
"You were sound asleep. I didn't wanna disturb you." His eyes trail over your body, hidden by a combination of his tee and the blanket that's draped haphazardly over your form.
You raise one eyebrow at him, a devious look in your eyes. "So you were just gonna leave my dorm without a shirt on?"
"Was hoping I could pass as someone going for a morning jog."
"In jeans?"
He falls silent at that, because how could he refute those words? You were just voicing his internal argument, anyways. He lets out a huff and sits on the edge of your bed, taking care to avoid squashing your feet under the blanket. "You have a good point," he finally mutters. He's not sure why he feels embarrassed, but he can feel the tips of his ears heat up as a blush begins to crawl down his features.
"I make those sometimes," you say. He glances at you and catches you looking away from his torso, your cheeks now dusted with the color of shame from being caught in the act. He lets out another chuckle.
"You can look, you know. It's not like I'm actively trying to hide it."
Your response to that is to fish out a pair of sunglasses from your nightside table and put them on before shifting your body to face him. You lean closer to his torso, remarking, "Sunglasses are so great because no one can tell where I'm looking," before straightening up and taking the accessory off. "Sorry. Got struck by divine inspiration for that one."
He just shakes his head, a look of feigned annoyance passing on his features, before he holds his hand out. "Can I have my shirt back now?"
You let out a sigh, rolling your eyes. "I guess." With swift movements, his shirt is off your body and in his hand, exposing your bra -- and upper body -- to the elements. Now it's his turn to stare, and he does so without shame.
"You literally saw all of this last night," you state after a brief period of quiet. That snaps Tsukishima out of his reverie, and he puts his shirt on.
"Yeah? You saw all of this--" he gestures to his now-clothed torso, "--last night too."
"Touché."
The silence returns as he stands and shuffles about the room, seemingly aimless in his wandering. This time, it's tinged with an undercurrent of awkwardness, as if neither of you are sure about what to say next. Finally, he relents: "I'm gonna go now."
"Sounds good!" is your automatic reply, and he watches as you immediately facepalm. "Not good as in, you suck get out, good as in, go live your life, I swear."
"Haha, I got it, no worries."
And with that, he's out the door, the image of you shirtless in your own bed seared into his retinas.
Another round wouldn't hurt, right? is all he's thinking about as he walks back to his own dorm, trying to mathematically calculate how much time should pass before he reaches out to you again. Because you, as a person, seem to have him hooked with your charm and your appeal.
Besides, he's already broken one rule with you -- what's the harm in breaking the other two?
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ollyissleepy · 3 days ago
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𝟎𝟏. 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐬
summary: Gojo makes the bet and Geto asks for a favour from you. a/n: the way I cringed while writing the bet part cw: none? reblogs, comments and likes are greatly appreciated
m.list | next →
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Geto sits peacefully at one of the tables, his lunch ready to be eaten. As he's about to dig into the food, he senses some nonsense coming his way. Then, he hears it: Gojo's voice trying to catch his attention. He turns towards his friend, inviting him over.
Gojo sits down across from Suguru, not wasting any time for greetings before talking away about his day so far and the cute cat he saw on his way to class that morning. Geto listens attentively, nodding along and keeping the conversation from becoming a monologue. As Gojo is in the middle of a sentence, Geto's attention is pulled away from his friend and towards someone sitting on the table nearby.
"Hey, are you listening?" Satoru asks, his voice loud enough to catch the attention of everyone around them.
That included the person who caught Suguru's attention just moments ago. It was (name), one of his classmates and a friend. Gojo's loudness caused (name) to look up, making eye contact with Geto. Suguru smiles, offering them a small wave that they return, before returning back to what they were doing.
The small interaction caught Satoru's interest, with the man violently turning around to check who his friend was waving at. Geto for once was glad at how quickly (name) returned to not paying attention to anything other than their food, knowing that they weren't weirded out by his friend's reaction.
"Who are they?" Satoru asks, his eyes only leaving (name) for a moment so he can look at Geto, just to return to stare at the mystery student.
"Oh, a classmate of mine," Suguru replies, not giving out much so Gojo doesn't ask more questions.
"They're cute." Gojo finally turns back around, and Suguru relaxes, no longer having to worry about (name) looking up to see his friend staring at them.
"I mean, I guess." Geto shrugs his shoulders, no longer looking at his friend, his eyes focused on his lunch.
"Let's make a bet." Satoru leaned across the cafeteria table, his elbows hitting the table hard, causing the stuff on it to shake violently.
"We are not doing that." Suguru didn't look up from his meal, chopsticks moving methodically through his rice bowl.
"Oh yes, we are." Satoru's fingers drummed an impatient rhythm on the tabletop. "I bet you won't be able to make them fall for you."
"I'm not betting on that." Suguru finally lifted his gaze, one eyebrow arching as he set his chopsticks down; every fibre of his body hoped that his friend would just drop the subject.
"C'mon, man." Satoru leans in, hoping to intimidate Geto into agreeing to his shenanigans. "I can give you five thousand yen if you do that."
"Fuck no, I'm not playing with someone's heart for five thousand yen." Suguru's voice is barely louder than a whisper, not wanting anyone in the cafeteria to know the childish conversation his friends are dragging along.
"Ten thousand, then?" Satoru tilted his head as he flashed his most persuasive smile.
Geto thinks about it. He could convince (name) to pretend to date him; that way, he wouldn't break their heart. And ten thousand yen would allow Geto to treat himself. Maybe drag (name) along as well, laughing at how well both of them played Gojo.
"Fuck it, why not?" Suguru finally agrees, sighing, not wanting to give away the plan that he just came up with.
Geto finishes his lunch quickly, not wanting his friend to come up with another ridiculous idea. He also needs some peace and quiet to figure out how to rope (name) into pretending to date him.
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witchersoldier · 1 year ago
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Good Fucking Girl
rafe cameron x reader
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SUMMARY: you find yourself inside the globe of death with none other than Rafe Cameron.
WARNINGS: mentions of drug use I guess, cursing, suggestive themes, a little dark I think but not really, cringe and rushed writing, not proofread. English is not my mother tongue.
WORD COUNT: 1.0k
AUTHORS NOTE: once again posting just after just finishing it. I never double read my work, or else I'd never post anything bc I'd probably hate delete it and never write again.
It was supposed to be a simple kook party, well, as simple as those went. But now I found myself inside a large metal globe, curiosity, and a bit of a haze from the pot brownie I had few minutes ago, led the way. A crowd slowly started to form outside the cage, faces I didn’t recognize were filled with excitement.
“Great, the substitute’s already here. Cameron, you’re in now.” The guy just beside the globe door spoke. Before I could say anything back, engine revving filled my ears and a sudden rush of adrenaline took over me. Globe of Death, that’s what this was. How come I didn’t recognize it sooner? They thought I was some kind of substitute, but for what? I had no bike nor was I dressed as a stunt rider.
Faster than my eyes could register, a red bike pulled up beside me inside the globe. He wasn’t showing any skin, yet he looked so damn delicious. Those black and red leathers clung around his larger body, the helmet with dark visors gave him such a mysterious look. He just stood there, tall and confident, making me feel smaller and fragile.
“What the fuck are you doing in here?” he spat at me, voice muffled. His hand flew to his visors pulling them up, revealing his ocean blue eyes. There was a hint of worry and anger, the latter was clearly not directed at me. I was stuck in place, trying to put together the pieces, his eyes and voice all too familiar. “Rafe?” my heart started racing, beating against my chest, so loud.
Fate was always bringing me to him, in the most unusual ways. Now this?
“Y/N get out of here now; you could get seriously hurt.” He looked down at me, commanding me to leave. Part of me felt scared and wanted to leave and obey him right now, but the need to defy him spoke so much louder inside of me. I didn’t have to prove him anything, but every time the Cameron boy was around me, I felt the undying urge to test his patience. Also, I could never let him see the power he has over me. “I’ll do what I please. And right now, I really feel like staying.” I raised my chin, looking deep into his eyes. Challenging him.
He only clenched his fist over his lap and chock his head, as if trying to get rid of his thoughts. Then again, strangely calm, he looked at me. “Fine. You want to do this? You got it. But if I see even one little hint of fear in you-” he didn’t finish his sentence, leaving it to my imagination. It was what he didn’t say that hit something deep inside of me, it made me feel hotness all over my body.
Rafe abruptly grabbed my wrists and put my arms above my head, making my red crop top ride up until it was barely covering my breasts. “Be a good girl for me and keep your arms up just like that, will ya?” Rafe’s voice was low as he gave me the order, his hand that was holding my arms up slowly traced down my body, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. When he reached the hem of my black skater skirt, he gave a barely-there squeeze and quickly put down his helmet visors. He revved his engine again, the vibration traveling through my body.
The crowd outside the cage was screaming, cheering. My friends probably somewhere looking at me, wondering ‘what the hell’s gotten into me’. The answer was right here inside the globe with me. Rafe Cameron. He’s got the talent of always getting under my skin, making me feel things no one else ever could, making me do things I normally wouldn’t, no matter how hard I tried to deny it, fight against it. That’s just the Rafe Cameron effect; he brings out parts of me that have always been there, just never stimulated enough.
And then the show began. Rafe started to make circles around me in his bike, going so fast I could barely make out his silhouette. The fear I felt before vanished so fast, in its place a feeling I didn’t think would make its way into this situation; arousal.
Rafe’s gloved hand touched the exposed skin on my waist, and he dragged it along as he kept circling around on his bike. My whole body felt like it was on fire, burning so hot, and the blood rushed to my core making me throb and clench around nothing, my body was betraying my mind. I wouldn’t be able to confront, deny Rafe after this, I’ll just be putty in his hands.
I don’t know if it was seconds, minutes or hours that passed by since he started touching me, but as soon as his hands left it was like the ground beneath my feet was disappearing too. I looked up to see Rafe taking of his helmet, still riding his bike around. His bangs hanging loosely on his forehead. He looked so heavenly right now, and I understood then when people said ‘looks can be deceiving’. No matter how angelic he’s looking now, Rafe Cameron’s the devil walking on Earth.
He handed his helmet for me to hold while he gave the final laps, and I held onto it like it was the only thing keeping me alive. At the moment, that’s what it felt like.
I only noticed the show was done when Rafe’s now bare hand touched my ass under my skirt. I couldn’t even fight it, his touch felt so fucking right, even with all those prying eyes around. If I was honest, the people watching us exchanging touches only made my body burn hotter.
His free hand came up to my jaw, forcing me to look into his eyes. Dilated pupils gave him away. He was just as turned on as me. I forced my head down to glance at his trousers; they looked so much tighter than before and made me think of how much I wanted to just sit on his lap and grind against him, right here and now.
Rafe forced my head back up, his face coming closer to mine. His lips were mere inches away from touching mine. He breathed out a low moan that sent shivers down my spine. His lips softly touched mine, just a ghost of a kiss, and he whispered to me approvingly, “Good fucking girl”.
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