#bookskeepers writes

[bookskeepers]

imagine you're just walking down the street, hand enclosed in tsukishima kei's, and you're both in college but it's summer break so you're visiting him and his family in miyagi.

none of the other karasuno vbc boys attend the university that you and tsukki do, but yamaguchi knows you exist and has met you before. of course he does, he and tsukki are best friends.

anyways, you've heard about how tsukki was in high school, both from yams and tsukki himself. aloof, cold, borderline mean -- he still acts that way towards others, but rarely towards you (unless you're bantering, of course (which is frequently)). he's seldom mean to you both on purpose, slightly less so accidentally.

so when you hear someone call, "tsukishima!" from behind you, and he slips his hand out of yours as if it's instinctual, you think this might be another one of those times where he's being mean by accident. you watch as he whips around, eyes alight with an emotion you can't quite identify, face pink from a blush as if he was caught during some scandalous act.

you turn around at a slower pace, trailing your eyes from his golden optics to where he's looking at -- a short, bright-haired ginger boy and a taller, darker-haired guy. they're holding hands, and you feel a pang of jealousy -- tsukishima's friends are comfortable to show their relationship in front of him, but he doesn't feel the same to show you off to them.

"hey shrimpy," you hear him say, his low tone tinged with that mean edge you've come to recognize. "see you haven't grown any taller since i left."

you don't pick up on 'shrimpy's' response, nor do you hear any other part of the conversation. your heartbeat's too loud and all you can hear is the blood rushing in your ears, feeling the familiar prickles of jealousy and anger begin to invade your system. the conversation is brief, however; the dark-haired man glares at tsukishima before rolling his eyes and tugging the ginger away. when they're no longer in sight, tsukishima seems to realize he's no longer holding your hand.

he reaches for it again, apologies written in his eyes as he intwines his fingers with yours once more. "sorry," he says after a bit of uncomfortable, tense silence. "seeing those two triggers my fight or flight response."

you're not used to hearing him say 'sorry,' so it catches you off-guard when you do. you glance at him, holding eye-contact. "so it's not because you're ashamed to be with me?"

"what?" he seems genuinely appalled. "no, of course not." he uses his grip between your fingers to pull you closer and plant a kiss on your forehead. "didn't you hear what i said?"

you shake your head. he gives you a soft smile, one that you know's reserved just for you. "well, they asked me who you were and i said you're my lovely partner."

a blush makes its way up your cheeks, and you try to focus on the conversation that just happened -- if you strain your mind, you realize that tsukki did, in fact, introduce you as his partner. and the ginger's response comes to the forefront of your brain, as well. "did you agree to go on a double date with them?"

"yeah, i did," tsukki responds. he presses another kiss to your face, this time planting his lips on your own. soft, sweet, chaste -- none of which were adjectives anyone would use to describe your tall, blonde partner. "it's about time i show you off to my friends, right?"

[bookskeepers]

third time's the charm ♡ tsukishima kei

pairing: timeskip ! college ! tsukishima kei x afab ! nb ! reader

general content warnings: SMUT! NSFW! MINORS, DO NOT INTERACT! tsukishima is mean. the reader is very sexually promiscuous (and very sexually traumatized). SEXUAL TRAUMA! exploring your identity in college. definitely based off my personal experiences. college AU. all that fun stuff (individual chapters will have more accurate content warnings)

(tsukki after y'all fuck fr)

note: if a chapter has the emoji next to it, it is safe to assume that the content warning is explicit (re: there will be a chapter about sexual assault and flashbacks to said sexual assault)

😳 for smut; 🫥 for trauma; 🥹 for fluff

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teaser

chapter one 🫥😳

chapter two

chapter three 😳

chapter four 😳😳😳😳

chapter five

chapter six

[bookskeepers]

i like me better - tsukishima kei

pairing: timeskip ! tsukishima kei x gn ! reader

word count: 932

content warning: fluff? maybe?, established relationship, i headcanon tsukki as the softest man on earth when he's in luuuuuv, yada yada ya

a/n: another writing piece. hopefully people like this one too and people like my characterization of tsukki! ahahah

totally wasn't thinking of the song with the same name while writing this too

Laughter echoes through the air as you, Tsukishima, and his volleyball friends play the board game. You're sitting next to the tall middle blocker, with Kageyama, Hinata, and Yamaguchi on the other side of the table. There's an open spot at the table for Sugawara too, but he's vanished momentarily to retrieve drinks for everyone.

"Who knew Tsukki sucked at monopoly?" Yamaguchi jokes after the blonde in question lands on one of the green-haired man's properties.

The glare Yamaguchi receives would've killed if Tsukishima had laserbeams coming out of his eyes. "It's a matter of luck, not a matter of skill," he snaps.

His hand, hidden by the table's edge, inches closer to yours. He's not one for big showy displays of affection when he's around his friends from high school, but he takes the time to make sure you know that he's aware of your presence, that he hasn't forgotten you when his friends are around.

You're grateful for the small show of affection that's hidden from his friends' nosy gazes. Tsukishima hands the rest of his fake-money to Yamaguchi, grumbling under his breath about how Monopoly was a stupid game choice.

"Don't go hating us now," Sugawara chimes in as he returns, his arms laden with various bottles. He begins handing them out, smiling kindly at you as he gives you your favorite drink. "Besides, if you grumble too much, you're going to put a damper on the mood." The silver-haired man nudges Tsukishima with his elbow, receiving the blonde's icy glare in return.

The game continues and, ever so slowly, Tsukishima scoots closer and closer to you on your shared side of the table. It's barely perceptible -- every few minutes, he'll shift his position in such a way that takes away a few millimeters from the distance between you two. By the time Kageyama and Hinata have been bankrupted, which was not long after Tsukishima's unfortunate end, your thigh grazes against his.

Within a few minutes, the game ends with you as the winner. Yamaguchi looks absolutely flabbergasted, since he had the most properties -- Sugawara seems less shocked, since he barely landed on anything other than the railroads and the "go straight to jail" options. Tsukishima, you notice, is glowing with pride at your win. He chuckles, shaking his head at Yamaguchi's yapping.

"There's no way you could've won, I had almost all of the properties!" Yamaguchi complains. He crosses his arms and pouts as the rest of you work on cleaning up the table.

Kageyama looks deep in thought, finally speaking up: "Tsukishima hasn't been nearly as mean as I thought he'd be when he lost."

The statement has you covering your mouth with one hand as you struggle to hold back laughter, while Yamaguchi and Hinata both give Kageyama a look of pure amazement. Sugawara, meanwhile, has managed to sneak up on the blonde and give him a good ol' fashioned Sugawara-style bop on the head. "Hey!" Tsukishima exclaims, rubbing the back of his head.

"He's gotten soft since, y'know," Hinata finally says after a few more moments of strangled laughter (from you) and awed silence (from him and Yamaguchi).

Tsukishima aims his glare at Hinata, his frown deepening into a scowl. "I have not gotten soft," he retorts. As if to prove his statement, he stands up. Towering over Hinata, his scowl is replaced with a smirk. "You, on the other hand, haven't gotten any taller."

Hinata turns bright red and begins stuttering about genetics and his height before you get off the floor and grasp Tsukishima's hand, pulling him away from the shorter man. "We should get going," you say in a soft voice, smiling at everyone else.

He nods at you before heading towards the door while you say your goodbyes, shaking Kageyama's hand and giving Hinata, Sugawara, and Yamaguchi a brief hug. "Thank you for having us," you tell them. "We'll see you guys soon!"

You turn on your heel and head over to your boyfriend, who simply waves his hand at the other four before opening the door for you. As the two of you exit the apartment and head for the elevator, Tsukishima entwines his fingers with yours once more. He looks deep in thought, and it takes you calling his name a few times to snap him out of his reverie.

"Kei? Kei. Kei!"

"Huh?" he asks as he looks at you, a small frown playing on his lips. "What?"

"What are you thinking about?"

His thoughts dissipate as he gazes at you, affection in his eyes. His frown softens into a slight smile, shaking his head. A faint pink dusts his cheeks out of embarrassment. "Just wondering if I've really gone soft."

"I think you have," you tease, poking his side with your free hand as you both enter the elevator that's finally arrived. "So soft, all because of me!"

He grabs your hand with his other one and pulls you close to him, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "I'm okay with that," he says simply, nuzzling his nose into your hair. "After all, I like me better when I'm with you."

You smile against him, enjoying the brief peace before the elevator opens and the two of you exit.

You're greeted by the cool, wintry air as you exit the building and, with Tsukishima's hand in yours, you smile at him. He notices your look and tilts his head like a puppy, asking a question with his eyes.

"I like me better when I'm with you, too," you say at last, giving his hand a squeeze.

[bookskeepers]

the neuroscience of falling in love - bokuto kōtarō

pairing: timeskip ! college ! bokuto kōtaro x fem ! reader

content warnings: some heavily suggestive content (MDNI). a bit of kuroo x reader. mentions of alcohol. definitely some darker humor. other languages (bad portuguese from Hinata, fluent Hebrew from reader). typical college shenanigans. will add more as series progresses; each chapter will also have its own warnings

a/n: will update this as i make more chapters i promise. also shoutout to @barleyo for being my sounding board

navigation!

📲 for texting; 🌳 for writing

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☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

teaser 📲

chapter one 📲

chapter two 📲

chapter three 🌳

chapter four 📲

chapter five 📲

chapter six 🌳

chapter seven 📲

chapter eight

[bookskeepers]

surprise surprise - bokuto kōtarō

pairing: timeskip ! bokuto kōtarō x gn ! reader

word count: 1,392

content warning: sad bokuto (but only for a bit i promise), fluff, surprises, lovie as a pet name, hopefully cute, established relationship, kōtarō is, in fact, emotionally immature but we love him for it (he is my husband)

a/n: this idea came to me in a dream (oops) so i hope you all enjoy it as much as i did (p.s. who knew writing self insert fics on tumblr was so self indulgent (me. i did))

A FEW WEEKS AGO

The two of you were seated on your shared bed, a position you often found yourself in whenever Bokuto was down in the dumps. He, of course, was unhappy with the news that he'd have to go abroad for his next set of matches with Japan's national volleyball team. When he was telling you about it, there were tears in his eyes and his hair seemed to droop to reflect his downtrodden mood. His large hands had clasped yours, holding them against his chest, and you felt his heartbeat through the material of his shirt.

"Kō," you had said, freeing one of your hands to gently caress his cheek. "It's only a few weeks, lovie. It's not that long."

He let out a whine at your words, clearly in much more distress than you were. "But a few weeks without you feels like forever!" he complains, taking the chance to scoot closer to you and rest his head on your shoulder. "And... and you're my good luck charm, so what if we do badly? And the last match will be on my birthday and it'll be my first birthday without you in a while!"

You gave him a soft smile, rubbing your thumb across his cheekbone (at least, you hoped it was his cheek -- you couldn't quite see what you were rubbing since his head was on your shoulder). "I'll watch from the TV and send you texts! I'll be there in spirit," you promised. "And you'll get to come back to a birthday present, isn't that awesome?"

This seemed to alleviate his mood somewhat, as he lifted his head off your shoulder and looked into your eyes. Hope gleamed in those beautiful golden eyes of his. "You promise?" he asked, his voice cracking ever so slightly.

"Pinkie promise," you replied, removing your hand from his face to hold out your pinkie. He twisted his own pinkie with yours, nodding resolutely.

He departed the next day, and, while you weren't as expressive as he was, you could feel your heart sting a bit as his large frame left your apartment. Every temporary goodbye was the same with him, but that's how it was when you were used to sharing the same bed every night.

A FEW DAYS AGO

An idea popped into your head while you're at your job. You could feel the exhaustion weighing on your limbs as you go through the motions, doing the tasks that were expected of you. Every time Bokuto had to leave for some form of volleyball-related activity, you found yourself sleeping less -- and this time was no different.

However, what was different from previous trips was the idea forming in your mind. Bokuto loves surprises in any form, and the lightbulb going off in your head would be the biggest surprise of all. When you're finally free from your occupation, you rushed home, willing the metro to run faster. It doesn't, but being in a hurry makes it feel like it was crawling at a snail's pace.

Upon your arrival, you barely managed to kick off your shoes before you're sitting in front of your computer, opening a new tab to start planning your surprise in detail.

PRESENT

Another miss is all that runs through Bokuto's head as he spikes the ball on the opposing court, only for it to hit out of bounds. It feels like every shot that Atsumu set for him's a waste, since he can't seem to land any points. Every single blocked spike and out-of-bounds fail is met with a resounding, "Don't mind!" from the rest of the team. It's even worse when Atsumu switches out with Kageyama, because the black-haired setter fixates a glare on him whenever he doesn't succeed.

It's only halfway through the first set, with the Japan national team being ahead despite Bokuto's fumbles. Anyone could see that the #4 outside hitter is off his game, but only his teammates actually knew why -- it was his birthday, and he isn't spending it with you.

After several more failures on his end, he starts getting into his own head. His mood drops to the point where the coach swaps him out with Hoshiumi, and that's when Bokuto really feels his spirits vanish. He slumps on the bench, ignoring the attempts of the coach and the manager to cheer him up. Insults aimed at himself run rampant through his mind, and he can't seem to make them stop. The missed shots, compounded with not seeing you on his birthday, create a volatile mixture that resulted in his depressed state.

He wishes he could check his phone to see if you texted, to see what unique commentary you always send him whenever you're watching him play on the television. But, alas, he's stuck on the volleyball court, glued to the bench, eyes on the floor.

So deep in negative thoughts that he doesn't quite notice when your familiar figure stands at the sidelines, nor does he notice it when you call his name several times. It takes the national team's coach giving Bokuto a rather harsh shove on the shoulder to snap him out of his spiraling.

It looks like it's taking him every ounce of his strength to lift his head up to look at the couch, who then gestures in your direction. A soft smile etches itself onto your face as he slowly turns his head to look at you, and you can see the gears working behind his eyes when the two of you make eye contact. His posture slowly straightens, and a furrow appears in his brows.

"Is... is that really you or am I hallucinating?" he asks, half to you and half to himself. You can't really hear him from where you're standing, but you've been with Bokuto long enough to guess what he was saying.

In response, you hold your hands out, your smile widening as he jumps up and runs over to you. "You're here, you're really here!" he exclaims as he easily hops the divider and hugs you tightly, lifting you off your feet and spinning you around. He plants a big kiss on your lips, and you have to prevent yourself from melting into it before he separates. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to surprise you, Kō," you reply, watching as his smile grows even wider. "Happy birthday, lovie."

He gives you another big hug before a shrill whistle pierces the air, in which he whips around to look at the court. "Okay, okay, don't go anywhere! I'll be back to shower you in hugs and kisses when the game's over!" he calls over his shoulder as he hops the divider, beaming as the coach puts him back in the game.

Your appearance seems to reinvigorate him, as he's suddenly slamming spike after spike within bounds, either via insane line shot or even crazier cross shot. Within no time, the Japan national team beats its opponent in both the first and second set, leading to its victory. Bokuto cheers the loudest out of his entire team, exchanging high fives with Atsumu and Hinata before running back over to you. You're still standing in the same spot you chose after your arrival, but your grin is as wide as his.

He holds his hands up for a high five and you enthusiastically give him two. "You did amazing, Kō!" you exclaim, dropping your hands from high-five position to his shoulders.

He turns bright pink, as if that's the first compliment you've ever given him (it was not). He mumbles something under his breath, and you have to somehow get closer to hear him, despite your proximity.

"What was that?"

"I said, you're my good luck charm, of course I did amazing!" he replies -- a little too loudly -- before wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you close. "Did you book a hotel room?" he murmurs into your hair, and you have to strain your ears to hear him over the din of the crowd going crazy.

"No, I kind of assumed we'd be staying in the same room?" you respond, your pitch increasing at the end to indicate your hopefulness.

"Of course we're staying in the same room," he responds. "After all, I can't spend my birthday without you!"

[bookskeepers]

third time's the charm ♡ chapter five

content warnings: light, awkward, both of them don't really know how to talk to people, reader makes a tiktok reference, abs, bra mentioned, no nsfw, tsukishima might be ooc sorry lol

word count: 1,646

a/n: i am running out of gifs. also sorry if my writing feels british my internal monologue is the same voice as baldur's gate 3's narrator 💔

also sorry this took so long ? it sat in my drafts for a week holy shit

taglist: @wakashudou

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Tsukishima Kei has three rules he follows when he's hooking up with someone.

1. Keep all communication to Tinder.

2. No dilly dallying.

3. Do not stay the night.

Of course, rule 2 had some exceptions -- occasionally he'd watch a movie to lead up to the act, but no more than that. He views hookups as a business transaction: get the goods and dip. Luckily, both sides (usually) benefit.

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He hadn't intended to stay the night at all after your romp together. He meant to help you back into your underwear, maybe cuddle for a few minutes, and then leave. But with the way your head rests against his chest, and with how comfortable you look, how is he supposed to say no?

Your hair is splayed out around you, strands tickling his skin. He finds himself absentmindedly tracing patterns on your near-bare back with his fingers as he scrolls through his phone with his free hand, willing exhaustion to hit. Your dorm bed, despite being the same as literally every other dorm bed, is somehow comfier than his own. Maybe it's because he's sharing it with you, although he's not sure.

More often than once, he catches himself observing your sleeping form. Your head is on his chest, your torso turned so that your boobs are pressed against his own torso. He can feel the silky material of your bra against him, and he wonders if you're uncomfortable. It looks like the wire's digging into your skin from his vantage point. One leg overlaps his own while the other remains straight on the mattress, and the arm he can see is splayed out on his ribs. He watches as your chest rises and falls slowly, the pattern of your breathing steady in your sleep.

"You fell asleep so quickly," he mumbles out loud, impressed. Part of him thinks you're a little stupid; who would let someone they just met stay the night? And why would you fall asleep so quickly on a stranger?

Another part of him finds it endearing, though. To be instantly trusted by someone in such a vulnerable state... it's not a feeling he's used to.

None of what just happened was what he was used to.

Sex is a fickle thing, he thinks. He has his own experience with it, most of it involving smooth R&B playing in the background, the music intermingling with the sound of skin-on-skin and feminine -- and occasionally masculine -- moans. It's never been without music, and there's never been conversation when the act's actually started.

He enjoyed the conversation, though. Listening to you try to form sentences while he went down on you was erotic in its own way. Maybe it was the teasing nature of it, or the way you'd gasp and fall silent, head thrown back in pleasure, before struggling to gather your thoughts and continue.

He finds that his eyes are drifting shut despite trying to keep them open, that he's playing with something very dangerous. After all, he thinks it wouldn't be too hard to get addicted to this: laying in a twin XL-sized bed that's too small for two people with you using him as a mattress more than you're using the actual mattress. The weight of you on his body is more comfortable than he'd ever admit to anyone, and your mannerisms and personality have already been etched into his brain. You're different.

The thought snaps him out of his reverie and he physically cringes. He doesn't think you're the kind of person who'd enjoy being told, "You're not like other people." In fact, he thinks you'd probably smack him, although he doesn't know you nearly well enough to be confident in this assumption (but he's right. You would smack him, only because you take comfort in knowing there are other people who are as weird as you, if not weirder).

When his eyes open again, sunlight is streaming through the window on the far side of the room. At some point during the night, you must've gotten up to put on a shirt -- his shirt, he realizes with a jolt -- because you're no longer laying against him bare-chested, instead now clad in a loose, black tee. He fumbles around for his phone, discovering it underneath his ass. He taps on the screen a few times, watching as it lights up with a photo of him and his volleyball club from high school. The time reads 10:32am, and you're out like a light. No one ever said sex wasn't tiring, though.

His movements must be disturbing your slumber, because you shift in your sleep. One of your legs ends up fully over him while his free arm ends up trapped between your body and his. You sure know how to make yourself comfortable, he thinks.

Slowly, delicately, he extricates himself from your hold, each move calculated as not to disturb your slumber. After all, he hadn't intended to stay the night -- vague memories of the mild shock on your face after you asked makes him think you hadn't originally intended to ask, either.

He pulls his pants on before remembering that there's a bit of a dilemma. You're wearing the shirt he came with, and he half-heartedly wonders if anyone's out and about on campus on a Saturday mid-morning. It's not that he's embarrassed of how he looks, he would just much rather be able to blend into the crowd with ease. Being shirtless would prevent that, probably.

If he was wearing athletic shorts, on the other hand, he could pretend he was going on a run. Alas, he wore jeans to your dorm. It seems his options were either leave and demand you return his shirt via Tinder, or--

"Where're you going?"

Your sleep-tinged voice cuts through his thought process, and he snaps his head up to look at you. It seems his movements were not calculated enough, since you're now awake. He watches as you blink sleep from your eyes, turning onto your back to stretch your limbs out in all directions with a quiet groan. You sit up in the bed, glancing from him to the shirt you're wearing. "This isn't mine," you say at last.

He lets out a slight chuckle. "No, that's mine. You must've put it on during the night. And I was just heading out, actually."

You let out a gasp, clapping your hands over your heart. "Without even saying goodbye? How cold. How cruel, Tsukishima. I'm heartbroken." Your tone is light, teasing; he can't help but smile in response.

"You were sound asleep. I didn't wanna disturb you." His eyes trail over your body, hidden by a combination of his tee and the blanket that's draped haphazardly over your form.

You raise one eyebrow at him, a devious look in your eyes. "So you were just gonna leave my dorm without a shirt on?"

"Was hoping I could pass as someone going for a morning jog."

"In jeans?"

He falls silent at that, because how could he refute those words? You were just voicing his internal argument, anyways. He lets out a huff and sits on the edge of your bed, taking care to avoid squashing your feet under the blanket. "You have a good point," he finally mutters. He's not sure why he feels embarrassed, but he can feel the tips of his ears heat up as a blush begins to crawl down his features.

"I make those sometimes," you say. He glances at you and catches you looking away from his torso, your cheeks now dusted with the color of shame from being caught in the act. He lets out another chuckle.

"You can look, you know. It's not like I'm actively trying to hide it."

Your response to that is to fish out a pair of sunglasses from your nightside table and put them on before shifting your body to face him. You lean closer to his torso, remarking, "Sunglasses are so great because no one can tell where I'm looking," before straightening up and taking the accessory off. "Sorry. Got struck by divine inspiration for that one."

He just shakes his head, a look of feigned annoyance passing on his features, before he holds his hand out. "Can I have my shirt back now?"

You let out a sigh, rolling your eyes. "I guess." With swift movements, his shirt is off your body and in his hand, exposing your bra -- and upper body -- to the elements. Now it's his turn to stare, and he does so without shame.

"You literally saw all of this last night," you state after a brief period of quiet. That snaps Tsukishima out of his reverie, and he puts his shirt on.

"Yeah? You saw all of this--" he gestures to his now-clothed torso, "--last night too."

"Touché."

The silence returns as he stands and shuffles about the room, seemingly aimless in his wandering. This time, it's tinged with an undercurrent of awkwardness, as if neither of you are sure about what to say next. Finally, he relents: "I'm gonna go now."

"Sounds good!" is your automatic reply, and he watches as you immediately facepalm. "Not good as in, you suck get out, good as in, go live your life, I swear."

"Haha, I got it, no worries."

And with that, he's out the door, the image of you shirtless in your own bed seared into his retinas.

Another round wouldn't hurt, right? is all he's thinking about as he walks back to his own dorm, trying to mathematically calculate how much time should pass before he reaches out to you again. Because you, as a person, seem to have him hooked with your charm and your appeal.

Besides, he's already broken one rule with you -- what's the harm in breaking the other two?

[bookskeepers]

third time's the charm ♡ chapter two

content warnings: tsukishima's p.o.v. of his sexual history since starting college! so yes. NSFW-ish (not explicit smut). minors do not interact. ahahah i hope i got him right

word count: 1,412

a/n: i added to chapter one so please make sure you read that one before this one ! also this one is on the shorter side because like ........ i am not that creative

also! sorry for the weird tenses... i like writing in present tense but i genuinely had no clue how to go from past to present so here we are <3 sorry. english is not my first language

taglist: none yet ! pls send an ask if you want to be added <3

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Tsukishima Kei isn't big on commitment. Or, at least, he thought he wasn't until he met you.

Before he started college, he hadn't really gone out of his way to meet girls. Sure, there was the usual confession from underclassmen, upperclassmen, and people his age on a regular basis, but it's not like he was attracted to any of them. They all felt pretty basic: average height, average features, average everything. None of them stood out to him. Yamaguchi often teased him for his "endless line of suitors," and the olive-haired boy also taught him how to let those girls down gently. Tsukishima tried his best to, but more often than not the confessions ended in tears.

Once he started university, he decided to branch out more. He ended up going to the same school as Kuroo Tetsurou and Bokuto Koutarou, and they wiggled their way back into his life. Kuroo even helped him set up his Tinder account, and Tsukishima hadn't bothered to change it since.

It's not like it wasn't easy for him to meet girls, though; his major was mostly women and he often felt some unnerving stares in his classes. He thought studying anthropology would be more equal in terms of a gender divide, but he was wrong. Besides, he didn't like the idea of trying to hook up with people he'd see on a daily basis. The appeal of Tinder was that there were no strings attached and, if he were to enjoy the company of a computer science major or a biology major, the chances of him crossing paths with them again was nonexistent.

His first time ended up being pretty straightforward -- the girl had been relatively understanding of his lack of experience, and Tsukishima had discovered that he really enjoyed kissing people, especially in missionary. His slew of experiences led him to find out that he also enjoyed the quiet noises people made more than the loud ones, the looks on their faces when they came undone, and the way they'd sink their nails into his back when it felt too good for them.

He enjoyed the way their thighs would tighten around his head when he went down on them, and he really liked the looks in their eyes when he'd lick his fingers clean after bringing them to orgasm with two digits.

He soon developed a bit of a reputation amongst those who knew him as a womanizer (although he would always disagree and say something about how that term felt demeaning towards both him and the ladies). He didn't talk about his promiscuity often, nor did he appreciate his friends' teasing about how all the women he took to bed looked the same. Tall, lithe, and light-colored hair. Bokuto went as far as to suggest that Tsukishima was into girls that could pass off as his sister, but he never said anything like that again since Tsukishima had smacked him for that comment.

It also quickly became apparent that Tsukishima wasn't a fan of women who tied their self-worth to the amount of sex they had. The first and only time he encountered someone like that, their need to please him had gone far beyond the usual desire to please one's partner and it was unsettling. That was also when he decided to exchange more than three messages with his matches on Tinder. He also no longer hesitated to unmatch with someone if they gave the wrong vibes.

There were a few times where it felt like the opposite party was getting attached. Requests to meet up for reasons other than sex, invites to parties, things like that. It's not that the idea of a relationship didn't appeal to Tsukishima, it was that the thought of being in a relationship with those who were trying to pursue one with him made his gut feel heavy and sent an anxious shiver up his spine. Simply put, there was a stark difference between "women he'd hook up with" and "women he would consider dating." After all, the hookups rarely handled his generally cold attitude well -- but sex, in his mind, was not a place for conversation. These feelings led him to think that maybe, just maybe, commitment wasn't his thing. It wasn't like he had met anyone he'd consider dating thus far anyways.

♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡

If you ask him, he would say that the day he matched with you on Tinder wasn't that eventful.

It started rather simply. In the morning, he went for his usual jog before hitting the rec center on campus. That day was his pull day, so he had done lateral pull-downs, pull-ups, and he had used the rowing machine with the resistance set to high. Tsukishima likes the gym -- no one there was going to go out of their way to talk to him (unless they were asking to work in with him) and no one there was going to judge him.

He had gone to his classes like usual -- he decided to treat himself that semester by taking an elective that had nothing to do with the actual path he was setting up for himself. He was sitting in that class, Dragons Around the World, when he decided to pull up Tinder and start swiping. It was an entertaining class for the most part, but that day was dedicated to going over the most recent exam. Tsukishima had scored a perfect 100 on it, so he felt that there was no need for him to pay attention.

As usual, his feed was dominated by people that others would think of as super models. High cheekbones, pale-colored eyes, long lashes. He swiped mindlessly -- mostly to the right -- before your profile appeared on his screen. Something about you felt different -- maybe it was the gleam of mischief in your eyes or the way your profile didn't have any photos of you scantily clad in a bikini or less. Maybe it was the way your bio was "would ask for the kid's menu at a restaurant solely for the word search," or the way your job was listed as "generally confused at school." Despite the simplicity of your profile, it felt full of personality, a huge contrast to most of those on Tinder. He found himself swiping right against his better judgment.

♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡*•.¸♡¸.•*♡

Around 1:00am that night, he's sat at his desk with his headphones on his ears when his phone lets out a quiet ding. He looks up from his textbook, a faint feeling of surprise that he even heard the ding through his music. He grabs it and taps on the screen, wincing at the bright light of the background.

TINDER: You got a new match!

As per usual, he taps on the notification and unlocks his phone. He always checks who his new matches are -- that's how he decides whether or not to send them a message.

He stares at the empty chat, your face sat in the middle of the screen. The photo's of you smiling at someone off camera, hair ruffling in an unseen breeze, a gleam of mischief in your eyes. He types out a quick "Yo." before placing his phone back on the desk and returning to the task at hand: studying for his exam in two days.

His focus doesn't last long, as his phone screen lights up this time to indicate that someone -- you, maybe? -- replied to him. He lets out a rather annoyed sigh before taking his phone once more, deciding to ditch studying at this hour and instead opting to flop in bed.

You: very charming first message

He lets out an amused snort by your response to his "Yo." and he rolls his eyes.

Tsukishima: It got you to reply, didn't it?

His eyes track the screen for a few minutes, hoping your reply would come as fast as it did before.

After mindlessly scrolling through Instagram Reels for thirty minutes -- because TikTok's subpar -- he realizes you must've fallen asleep. After all, he'd hate if you didn't reply in the end, since you were different from the usual Tinder interaction.

He goes to sleep that night with the thought of you on his mind. It was no easy feat to get him to laugh in general, much less so in the first interaction. Unbeknownst to you, you managed to do just that, which made you his latest fixation.

[bookskeepers]

the neuroscience of falling in love ☆ chapter seven

content warnings: kuroo is FILTHY (i'm trying to redeem him), mentions of pregnancy, more drama, this chapter was so self insert because love rosie is my favorite movie, yamaguchi is yamaguchi. chaotic, portuguese, hinata is hinata

a/n: sorry it took so long chat. life has been lifing (i bought a new laptop)

ignore timestamps and ignore how all the timestamps are 8-9am and it's 5:15pm please

taglist: @wakashudou, @theycallmenanamisgirl, @giocriedpower, @punkhazardlaw, @miliondollagirl

previous ☆ masterlist ☆ next

☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

translations:

nature e curo: nature is healing

parabens: congratulations

a vida e boa de novo: life is beautiful again

quel movie: which movie

que: what

☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

information:

y/n has decided that life is too short to hold grudges (also it's been 3 weeks since she spoke to kuroo (don't think too hard about the timeline please))

yamaguchi is plotting. after all, he thinks love, rosie is so niche that only two soulmates would hold it as their #1 favorite movie of all time

the kiyoko tweet will make sense when you see the bonus

☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

bonus !

[bookskeepers]

third time's the charm ♡ tsukishima kei (teaser)

pairing: timeskip ! college ! tsukishima kei x afab ! nb ! reader

content warnings: heavily suggestive. MDNI. very nsfw. sex. trauma. fun stuff. a little self-insert-y (but what x reader fic isn't?). reader thinks they're asexual at first lol

also -- i'll hold a poll after this to determine the reader's major. y'all better answer it >:(

a/n: just a little teaser... (tsukki doesn't actually appear in this part too much) also sorry that it's shit

also i realize the end might make it seem like "oh ur not ACTUALLY asexual u just need to get dicked down good" but thats not my intent. thats me sharing my life experience thru the reader's pov T_T

You know how, in elementary school, they ask you what you want to be when you grow up?

When they asked you, sweet, little, innocent you, what you wanted to be at the age of 5, you had very proudly answered: "Married!"

That sentiment, however, didn't really stick with you throughout life. Yes, the thought of belonging to someone for the rest of your life was nice, but you rarely went out of your way to pursue it.

Besides, your answer changed every year you were asked. "Married" at 5, "Princess" at 6, "Astronaut" at 7, "Zoologist" at 8 (your teacher was shocked by this one, mainly because 8-year-olds barely know what biology is, much less zoology). Slowly but surely, you had made your way down the STEM path of life.

Sure, you had crushes. In 7th grade, you even tried to make a move. It had been lunch time, and your entire grade was packed into the cafeteria. There were two columns of those picnic-esque tables with a clear, big aisle down the middle. You had been in that aisle, en route to tell your crush that you liked them, when you had slipped and fell flat on your ass in front of your entire class. The chatter had fallen silent -- at least, you swear it did -- and you heard a few giggles. You felt everyone's gaze on you and you turned bright red before scampering to your feet and running off.

You decided to take it as a sign from God that love wasn't your thing.

High school came and went rather uneventfully. Crushes appeared then got haircuts, making you lose interest. You watched as your friends supposedly "fell in love" with someone they held all of two conversations with, watched as they got into relationships and got their hearts broken, heard as they spoke about having sex at 15 and 16. You found their descriptions of the carnal act rather gross.

Maybe it was during high school that you convinced yourself you were asexual and sex-repulsed. After all, LGBTQ+ was becoming more "mainstream" then.

It's in college when you realize that's not true, of course. After all, college is all about exploring yourself sexually, right? Making out with people of all genders, trying new things in the bedroom, trusting strangers not to give you diseases... What a fun time.

And, hey, who knows? Maybe you'll find yourself partaking in the usual college activities too. You highly doubt it, though -- after all, at the start, you're convinced you're both asexual and aromantic.

You didn't once think you'd end up in the bed of a semi-pro volleyball player that's blessed with rippling abs and a tall physique. How could you?

[bookskeepers]

the neuroscience of falling in love (teaser)

☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

information:

y/n's been working in the lab for two years now. she's actually very excited to start her study

hinata speaks portuguese well but likes using it really badly (in order, his translations are "i am a volleyball game yes yes yes" and "the shoulders are good" (the second one is in the bonus)

y/n rarely speaks hebrew around the gang unless she's on the phone with her family

she is also easily stressed out despite knowing her limits

yamaguchi tries not to judge her situationship with kuroo. he really does. but he fails. miserably

yachi finds all of yamaguchi's typos hilarious even though they're not that funny

y/n lives under a rock when it comes to pro volleyball teams

the translation of her hebrew (under kuroo's post) is "god help me"

a/n: i really hope this posts right and if it doesn't i'll just cry

series masterlist

☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

bonus

[bookskeepers]

a million dreams - sugawara kōshi

pairing: timeskip ! sugawara kōshi x nb ! afab ! reader

word count: 2,843

content warning: angst. angst. angst. (or at least an attempt to write angst idk if it's successful), established relationship, afab ! reader (because pregnancy sorry gang :( ), suga DIES, car accident (mentions), pregnancy, birth, omgomg, you have a daughter that looks exactly like suga too B)

a/n: why does my mind do this to me (i'm listening to the greatest showman while writing this) (Also i don't speak japanese so if the whole 'kanji' thing is wrong pls lmk)

also i feel like i accidentally veer it towards daichi x reader at some points but i promise it's only platonic between them

BEFORE

"We're gonna have two kids," he said in the dim lighting, his hands entwined with yours. "And a big house with a big backyard for a dog." Your head was tucked into his chest, and you could feel his soft breaths against your forehead. His arms were securely wrapped around you. The vibrations of his voice felt in time with your heartbeat, and you were content. Wholly, truly content in your boyfriend's arms, finding yourself drifting off to sleep as he rambled about his future plans that involved you.

As your eyelids grew heavy and finally closed, you heard him murmur: "We'll name the daughter Harumi and the son Koji, of course."

"Don't I get a say?" you asked then, a playful edge in your tone as you nuzzled further into his chest.

He chuckles into your hair, and you can feel his chest shake. "Of course you get a say," he replied when his laughter died down, "after all, you're going to be their parent too."

It was as if everything in Sugawara's life went according to plan. The next morning, the two of you had your marriage ceremony and wedding. The guest list was on the smaller side, with close friends and family being invited; you recognized familiar faces from Sugawara's time in his high school volley ball club. Your parents were present, along with other extended family members. The event itself went off without a hitch, and, after six years together, you could finally call Sugawara your husband.

After that, it felt like time flew. Before you knew it, you were moving out of your small, shared apartment into a much larger house. Although it wasn't huge by any means, it had enough space for Sugawara's plans: two kids and a dog. And soon, the dog joined the family.

Sugawara had insisted on naming the dog Cheeseball (despite the dog being a Bernese Mountain Dog mix), and Cheeseball was perhaps the second light of Sugawara's life. When he was home, most of his time was spent on the couch, you nuzzled into his side, and Cheeseball laying across both of your laps.

A year or two after Cheeseball joined the family, your first daughter was born. Despite giving Sugawara sass for his choices in names, the two of you ended up agreeing on Harumi, and it was spelt with the kanji for 'sunny'. She had been born at the crack of dawn, hence her name.

As Harumi grew up, it became more and more evident that she was a carbon copy of Sugawara, save for the beauty mark. Her hair was a silky silver and her eyes were a deep brown. She even had a personality similar to that of your husband's: bright, cheerful, and chaotic.

Your life with Sugawara was picture perfect. Of course, of course, it all came crashing down.

It had happened while you were pregnant with your second child. Right after the ultrasound that revealed the baby's sex, no less. You had wanted it to be a surprise, so the technician had told Sugawara. Once the two of you got home, you nestled into your usual spot on the couch and smiled at him sweetly as Cheeseball hopped up and rested his head on your lap.

"Kōshi," you began, your voice dripping with honey, "can you do me a big, big favor?"

He returns your sweet smile with a knowing look, giving you a soft snort before responding. "Yes, my love?"

"I'm really craving cake right now." As if to prove your point, your stomach chose that moment to grumble rather loudly. "And I was thinking, maybe you could get a blue cake or a pink cake for the baby?"

He ruffled your hair before walking towards the entrance of the house, the car keys jingling in his hand. "I'll be back shortly with your sex reveal cake," he called out. The sound of the door slamming shut followed soon after.

You took a quick look at your phone to check the time -- 11:29am -- before turning the TV on to watch something while you waited for Sugawara to return. One hand stroked Cheeseball's soft fur while the other manipulated the remote to try and find a movie or show that piqued your interest.

After settling on a TV show about forensic psychologists and criminal profiling, you found your attention rapt by the show. After watching several episodes, Cheeseball barked. The sound of a door opening indicated that someone was home, and your brow began to furrow after Harumi entered the living room.

"Where's Papa?" Harumi asked, setting her backpack down on the table. Her silvery hair was in two pigtails, a bright gleam in her eyes. "He said he'd tell me if I'm gonna be a big sister or a big brother!"

You chuckled lightly at your daughter, patting the spot on the couch next to you. Another quick glance at your phone revealed that the time was 2:37pm -- four hours since Sugawara had left for the grocery store to get a cake. Anxiety began crawling its way through your system, heading for your heart.

"I don't know where he is," you told your six year old. "I asked him to go to the store and get cake to celebrate finding out! And, you're going to be a sister regardless of what the baby is. We get to find out if you're getting a new sister or a new brother."

Harumi nodded, hanging on to your every word. "I knew that," she huffed. After a brief period of silence, she added a tentative: "Maybe you should call Papa?"

"Good idea," you replied, kissing the top of her head before unlocking your phone and making your way to your contacts. As your finger hovered over the call button next to Sugawara's name, the home phone began to ring.

The anxiety that had been making its way through your body suddenly sank its claws into your heart. No one ever called the home phone. The only reason Sugawara even insisted on one was because it fit his idea of the perfect house. Standing up on shaky legs, you made your way over to the TV stand, picking the phone up from its cradle. You didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?" you asked quietly, cursing the slight tremor in your voice. Your heart began to beat rapidly in your chest, roaring in your ears -- you wouldn't be surprised if whoever was on the other end could hear it.

"Is this the Sugawara household?" the strannger questioned.

You recognized the voice almost instantly -- it was Daichi Sawamura, one of Sugawara's closest friends from high school. All it took was those five words for your world to start breaking apart.

"Hi, Daichi," you whispered. You glanced over your shoulder, meeting Harumi's big, brown eyes as she looked at you curiously. "Um, this is the Sugawara household, yes. If you needed something, you could've called my cell. Is everything alright?"

It took a tremendous amount of effort for you to speak in an even voice, to try and seem like you didn't know the next words that were going to come out of the phone.

You heard Daichi take a trembling breath from the other side of the phone, and you tried your best to steel your nerves for whatever he was going to say. Cheeseball chose that moment to get off the couch and pad over to you, as if the dog was aware of what was about to happen. Before Daichi even spoke, you found that tears had begun to stream down your face. "Sugawara -- no, Kōshi -- was in an accident." Another deep, shaky breath. "He didn't make it."

When you officially received the news, it had taken every ounce in you not to fall to your knees. Instead, you expressed the terror coursing through your veins by placing a hand underneath your small-but-noticeable baby bump. "Thank... thank you for telling me, Daichi." You placed the phone back in its cradle, not willing to wait for his response.

The hardest thing in your life was breaking the news to Harumi. How does one tell their child that their faither's never coming home again? How do you explain death in terms that a six year old will understand?

The sobs that tore from your daughter's throat when you told her moments later broke your heart even more. Beyond the pain in your chest, you felt numb, as if what was happening was happening to someone else, as if someone else's husband died on the way back from the grocery store with a blue cake in the passenger seat, as if it were a scene in a movie that you were watching.

You had slept in your once-shared bed that night, longing for the feeling of Sugawara's weight making the mattress dip beside you. You tossed and turned, and sleep didn't come until Harumi had made her way into your room. "Mommy, I can't sleep."

You sat up straight in the bed, holding your arms open for her. "Come here, then," you whispered into the dark room, watching her vague form clamber onto the bed before nuzzling into your chest.

You finally fell asleep with your daughter in your arms.

PRESENT

After that first night without him, you had gone through the motions. Harumi had insisted on going to school, saying something about not wanting to break her routine and "get stuck in the sad." For a six year old, she was wise.

You had covered the shrine in your house with white paper and closed its doors. You had set up a small table next to Sugawara's side of the bed, adorning it with his favorite flowers and jasmine-scented incense. You had called a temple, both grateful for and disgusted by the lack of emotion in your voice when you scheduled your husband's funeral service.

You're now standing next to his coffin, watching as people who knew your husband mill about the temple room. Harumi's by your side, her hand tightly gripping yours. You spot the familiar orange of Hinata's hair, the broad frame of Tsukishima, the angular jaw of Daichi. Your heart squeezes painfully in your chest as you notice the three of them approaching you.

You find yourself wondering, in that moment, what it must've been like for Daichi -- your husband's closest friend -- to not only find Sugawara in the car, but to have to report it to you. You watch as his features mold into a soft, sad smile. Tsukishima and Hinata have similar expressions on their faces.

The three of them each hand you one of many black envelopes you've already received, and you hand them to Harumi. You watch as she scampers off to place them with the rest, that silky silver hair of hers flowing freely behind her.

"How's she handling it?" Daichi finally asks, breaking the silence. Hinata and Tsukishima seem to take this as a sign, offering you their condolences before retreating back into the crowd. Your eyes don't miss the approaching form of your husband's other close friend, Asahi Azumane.

"She didn't want to stop going to school," you reply after a few moments. "She said it was because she didn't want to get stuck in her sadness."

"Wise kid," Asahi comments as he finally reaches the two of you. "May he rest in peace." He tilts his head towards Sugawara's coffin before nodding at you.

You nod in return, engaging in mindless conversation with the other two. You listen as they reminisce over their shared experiences in their high school volleyball club and watching their underclassmen become world-famous pros. You listen as their words flow in one ear and go right out the other. Before long, the wake begins in earnest. The priest goes to the front of the room and begins reciting a sutra, and you and Harumi place incense in the urn a total of three times.

The rest of the day passes in a blur.

That night, you're in your much-too-big bed, staring at the ceiling. Sleep stays a fair distance away from you until Harumi reappears in your doorway, around the same night she's done it every time. She nestles into the comfort of your arms, and you can feel the soft rise and fall associated with her breaths.

"Mommy," she says softly in the dark. "I miss Papa."

As if to make up for all the emotions you hadn't felt since his passing, the grief and the guilt come crashing down. You're suddenly too overwhelmed to speak, instead opting to hold your daughter tighter. She returns your squeeze with one of her own, being mindful of the bump of your stomach.

"Do you think my new brother will look like him?"

It takes you some time to trust your voice to speak. "I hope so," you manage to whisper. Harumi doesn't respond, and you can tell that she's fallen asleep.

At the end of the funeral on the following day, you watch as Sugawara's friends place a variety of flowers around his head in the coffin. You watch as Asahi lifts your daughter up with ease so she can add some flowers of her own. Your eyes follow their movements as they close the coffin and nail the lid shut with a stone.

You're grateful for the presence of Sugawara's family at the cremation afterwards, thankful for the steady hands of his parents as they assist you in picking the bones out from the ashes. You're thankful for Asahi and Daichi as well, since they've taken it upon themselves to babysit Harumi while you're preoccupied with this.

You, along with Sugawara's parents, walk towards the temple's lower rooms with the urn holding his remains in your arms. You're the one who places the urn in the small box. A small screen next to the locker-esque grave turns on, and your husband's face smiles at you brightly.

A sob escapes your throat, and tears begin to stream down your face. Sugawara's mother echoes the sentiment as the photo of her son shines brightly in the otherwise dim room. You take shaky, gasping breaths as the photo stares at you before you turn on your heel and leave.

AFTER

It's been several months since his passing. Your baby bump has only grown in size, and you're met with ferocious kicks at every time of day.

During the day, Harumi goes to school as normal. At night, she no longer tries to sleep in her own bed before coming to yours, instead opting to just start the night off in your bed. You find that sleep overtakes you with more ease when your arms are wrapped around your daughter.

It's not long before the sharp, stabbing pains of labor overwhelm you one day while you're at home. Daichi had forced himself to be on your phone's speed dial ever since you told him about the baby boy's kicking, and he is who you call when the time between contractions dwindles from hours to minutes, when the contractions themselves start lasting longer and longer. He's at your door quickly, ushering you into his police car and using the sirens to clear traffic. In between the bursts of pain, you find yourself wondering if it's legal.

When the two of you reach the hospital, you tell him to go get your daughter from the school before you're whisked away by the nurses. As your labor progresses and the baby's closer to being born, you hear Harumi's excited voice from the hallway. It's at this point that the door is closed so you can focus on your task at hand.

Within several hours, your new son is born. The sound of his cries echo throughout the small hospital room, and you watch as the nurses clean him up and wrap him in a soft blue blanket. They hand him to you before one opens the door and beckons for those who are waiting to come in.

Sugawara's parents enter along with yours after Harumi dashes in. She's at your bedside in seconds, jumping on the balls of her feet out of excitement. Your breath catches in your throat as the light shines on her silvery hair, your heart stinging at just how much she looks like Sugawara.

"Mommy, mommy, what's his name? Have you given him a name yet? Can we name him... can we name him Cheeseball?"

Your own mother laughs in response to that as your father picks Harumi up off the ground. "You can't name him Cheeseball," he says, "that's the name of your dog!"

Their conversation fades out of your focus as you gaze down at the little bundle in your arms. The faint hairs lining his forehead are the same shade as your own. You softly rub his nose with your finger, and you watch as his grubby arms escape the blanket and grab at your digit. His name comes to you with ease.

"Hi, Koji," you whisper.

[bookskeepers]

the neuroscience of falling in love ☆ chapter one

content warnings: crack. pure, unadulterated crack. hinata speaks awful portuguese. lots of "bro" puns. twitter wars. mean yachi. mention of throwing up

a/n: i gave up on editing timestamps, so please ignore them. it's the beginning of september right now!

previous ☆ masterlist ☆ next

taglist: @punkhazardlaw (send an ask to be put on the taglist pls, i won't be able to keep track of comments)

☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

translations:

"feche sua boca, rato" = shut your mouth, mouse; "sim" = yes

"com quem? ay dios mio" = with who? oh my god (ay dios mio is spanish)

"voce nao fala portugues" = you do not speak portuguese

"אלוהים יעזור לי" = god help me

☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

information:

yachi was having a difficult time with anatomy and she accidentally took her frustrations out on everyone else

bokuto was beguiled by your professionalism and your teetering-on-the-brink-of-business-casual-and-casual clothing during his screening

he was 93% convinced he was giving you his number for reasons other than the study (he's a little delusional)

yamaguchi has tsukishima on a leash. no one knows why

yachi and hinata have something going on and if yachi's having a stress-induced stomach ache, mentioning her thing with hinata is a great way to get her to go sleep regardless of what time it is

tanaka has influenced kiyoko's vocabulary but she's in HELLA denial lol

y/n's about as dense as a brick when it comes to anything not-neuroscience related. also she doesn't follow bokuto's private account

bokuto's been staring at the "follow" button on y/n's private account for three hours though (akaashi told him the handle)

kuroo hasn't told akaashi or bokuto about what's going on with him and y/n and now he thinks he should but he doesn't know how to phrase it

bokuto's a big fan of bro code but kuroo knows that if bokuto actually falls for someone bro code flies out the window [it's never been an issue until now tho]

☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

[bookskeepers]

the neuroscience of falling in love ★ chapter four

content warnings: crack. bokuto is very embarrassed. mild suggestions of toxic masculinity. kuroo being horny. jokes about death. mentions of incest.

a/n: grinded this out while freaking out about whether or not my daith piercing is rejecting lol

as always ignore timestamps (and the blue border around that one image. my friend was actively texting me while i was trying to make this)

also -- adding the usual golden border between conversation switches to make y'alls life easier

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☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

translations:

meu amor, meu amigo = my love, my friend

eu preciso de um amigo novo por favor = i need a new friend please

eu nao preciso de tsukishima kei = i do not need tsukishima kei

☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

information:

hinata does not like being reminded of his height even though he's excellent at volleyball regardless

every now and then, kuroo and y/n discuss ending the situationship but it never happens (mainly because kuroo's really good at giving head and y/n doesn't have the time to find another friend w benefits)

kuroo shamelessly asks for tiddy pics at least 1x a day

when y/n came over that night he fawned over her boobs for like 30 minutes until she told him to get on with it

bokuto has been typing and deleting a text message to y/n for at least three hours to ask when they should reschedule and to apologize for his behavior

despite coming off as a himbo, bokuto has pretty high situational awareness; he's capable of deciphering others' moods even when he doesn't know them that well

yachi using tildes almost always guarantees she's drunk and when she's drunk she starts sending the lyrics to the copypasta rap ("rawr x3 nuzzles pounces on you uwu you so warm...")

y/n would go on a date with bokuto if he wasn't part of the study. he's tall, his hair is cool, and he's buff as hell. also, she's weirdly attracted to people who seem dumb

kiyoko became team bokuto when yamaguchi pointed out it's either bokuto or kuroo

yachi no longer tolerates mentions of hinata anymore -- no one knows why (even though their relationship is good...)

kuroo has definitely moaned out "fuck yeah brother" while fucking y/n and she has definitely teased him about being into incest (he hates it but the phrase is an integral part of his vocabulary)

☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

bonus!

simply because i've had these songs stuck in my head over the last few days and bokuto + shoyo would totally do this, so would yamaguchi and y/n

[bookskeepers]

the neuroscience of falling in love ☆ chapter five

content warnings: gen z slang (the rizzler), yamaguchi causes DrAmA, (although he had good intentions) kuroo and bokuto and y/n fall apart, etc. etc. etc. no other languages. this one was fun to write but also i suck at writing people arguing so let me know how that goes

a/n: i am SO SO SO sorry it took so long for me to update. life got busy. but i am hopefully back (called out of work because i am ill so i have time to write!) (also full confession baldur's gate 3 took over my life but)

i was also debating on whether or not this chapter should be a kuroo x y/n smut. but then i realized i promised my smut-writing virginity to tttc (the tsukki x reader fic i'm writing). but fret not... there will probably be a kuroo x reader smut in the future where they kiss and make up despite this being a bokuto x reader smau AHHAHAH

also on the shorter side (i think? i have no idea on how to estimate a smau chapter's length lol)

taglist: @wakashudou, @theycallmenanamisgirl, @giocriedpower, @punkhazardlaw, @miliondollagirl (send an ask to be added please!)

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☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

information:

y/n fully thought kuroo's housemates knew about her, even though she hadn't actually started going to his place until recently

she's pretty hurt by this, since she has some insecurities that generally manifest as "people are ashamed of me"

kuroo's been staring at his phone for the last few minutes trying to figure out how to salvage this because he does in fact have feelings for y/n (because how could he not. y/n's just so awesome you know)

y/n's also upset about all this because yamaguchi knew kuroo was hiding her and didn't tell her, and all three of them knew bokuto was into her and didn't tell her

she's overwhelmed by everything that happened

she's also hurt that tsukki was sent as messenger instead of them knocking on her door

☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

bonus !

[bookskeepers]

the neuroscience of falling in love ★ chapter six

content warnings: angst/sadness. neuroscience jargon. written. little to no actual bokuto. kuroo x reader if you stare at it hard enough.

word count: 1,636

a/n: i know it is not a tuesday or a wednesday but i just remebered i never posted a new chapter for TNOFIL when i posted one for TTTC. bokuto fans time to eat

also please dont judge me for the food choice. tuna, mayonnaise, and pickles is a good combo trust

recipe: 1 can of tuna, liek 2-3 teaspoons of light mayonnase, 1-2 kosher pickles -- cut up the pickles into small chunks, mix everything together, and eat with kettle cooked chips (or eat without chips. also works)

taglist in the comments because i forgot oops

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Knock. Knock. Knockknockknockknockknockknockknock.

The noises come in rapid succession. And they don't stop once they've started.

You know it's one of your housemates -- most likely Yachi hammering away at the door, trying to get you to leave the confines of your room -- but you can't bring yourself to care. It's like the mesolimbic pathway in your brain has been altered to stop working. You're numb.

After all, who wouldn't be numb to the world after finding out that someone viewed them as a dirty secret?

Sure, there wasn't supposed to be anything forming between you and Kuroo. After all, it was a no-strings-attached situation, with both of you satisfying your physical needs.

So... why? Why does it hurt so much? Why do you care if he thinks of you as something that needs to be hidden instead of a person?

You know the answer, of course. At least from the perspective of your major.

In women, sex releases oxytocin. Oxytocin is also the neurotransmitter associated with pair-bonding. You know it's not truly possible to be no-strings-attached with the way the human brain is hardwired, especially if it's countless hook-ups with the same person. You know you were treading a fine line when it became twice, then thrice, then again and again and again with him.

If you dig deep within yourself, through the numbness, you feel stupid. Stupid for letting yourself get attached -- even though you know there was no way of avoiding it -- and stupid for ever doing things with Kuroo. Stupid for not listening to Tadashi and Kiyoko and Yachi when you still had the chance to back out without harming your feelings. After all, Tadashi called it from the get-go, declaring that whatever you and Kuroo had brewing between you two over a year ago was not going to end well.

You're in bed, barely clothed save for an oversized tee and underwear. Your laptop is propped open on your lap and you're doing schoolwork, filling out the definitions of terms you've been learning in neuropsychopharmacology. Yachi's knocking lasts for about a minute before it seems she finally gives up. Well, you thought she gave up until she bursts into your room, and it turns out not to be Yachi at all, but Tadashi.

"Are you alive?" he blurts as he stares at you from the doorway, the light from the hallway illuminating him. There's evident concern in his eyes, and he has one hand on the doorknob and another with a plate of food.

You return his stare with a listless one, unblinking and silent. You find yourself wishing it was Yachi who had been knocking, because she wouldn't poke and prod at you until you gave her answers.

Tadashi strides over to the foot of your bed, taking your laptop from you -- perhaps to provoke a response, but you don't give one -- before setting it on your desk. He hands you the plate of food. "Eat."

You take it, staring at the nourishment piled on top of it. Kettle-cooked chips, tuna mixed with mayonnaise and pickles, and an apple. Some of the most basic comfort foods for you. Leave it to Tadashi to know what meal to whip up for someone who's feeling down.

The uncomfortable, tense silence persists as you lift one chip, scooping a bit of the tuna mix onto it before taking a bite. The tang of the chips combined with the brine of the pickles, along with the smoothness of the mayonnaise, lends a sense of satisfaction to your brain and your tongue.

You're not sure why the tuna-combination (abomination, as Tadashi and Kiyoko liked to call it) gives you such a comforting feeling. After all, comfort foods are supposed to be high in carbohydrates to ensure that tryptophan, the serotonin precursor, makes it to the brain.

Maybe being a neuroscience major wasn't the smartest choice. Your entire thought process is just analyzing how you think nowadays.

"So," Tadashi finally says, breaking you out of your neuroscience-fueled reverie. "How are you feeling?"

You shrug in response, eating another tuna-laden chip.

He rolls his eyes at you. "C'mon, dude. You have vocal cords. You haven't answered any of our texts or tweets in, like, three days, and I don't think I've seen you leave the room except to shower. Have you even been eating?"

You nod in response. You have been eating, because how else would your brain function? How else would you keep up with schoolwork without the fuel to boost your cognition?

He narrows his eyes at you. "You're probably thinking of brain jargon to explain your mood."

He knows you too well.

"Well, I know how to explain it too," he declares, plopping on the edge of your bed and crossing his arms. "You're sad 'coz Crowhead Kuroo wasn't as into you as you thought he was."

The next bite of your food seems to lodge itself temporarily in your throat; you cough and hack at Tadashi's words, giving him a very, very strong glare. "No."

"She speaks! Told you you have vocal cords." He sounds smug, and you wish for nothing more than to smack the smirk off his face. "If it's not that, then what is it?"

"The acknowledgement of a decreased oxytocin production for the foreseeable future," you deadpan. You consider it a win when his brows furrow in evident confusion, mulling over your words.

After a beat or two pass, he lets out a sigh. "You're a nerd."

Realizing you're not willing to talk anymore, he gets up and frowns at you. "Well, if you need anything, consider checking your phone," he says before he leaves your room, closing the door with a rather ungraceful slam behind him.

☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

You know it's wrong to be mad at your housemates, but you don't want to deal with their "told you so" attitude that's sure to come out if you leave your room. So you don't. If you excel at anything, it's avoiding your problems.

You use your phone only to contact study participants (Kuroo included) via email instead of text. Do you wonder if they notice the difference? Yes. Do you care all that much? More than you're willing to admit.

With every passing day, the tiny red circle containing the number of notifications next to Twitter, Messages, and Phone only increases. You have to desire to check them. Besides, your phone buzzes for the important notifications, like texts from your principal investigator in regards to labwork and emails.

You go through the motions, too. Attend class, go to lab, fill out data forms for your study, go home, make a quick dinner, shower, retreat into your room, sleep, repeat. At some point during the days, you begin skipping lunch, but never dinner. You find that you must be completely occupied at all times, or your feelings -- which have overcome the numbness holding them at bay -- will overwhelm you.

Nightly visits from your housemates, sometimes Yachi, sometimes Tadashi, sometimes all three, decrease in frequency the longer you go without actively seeking them out. The atmosphere in the house is tense and you're aware it's your fault. You can't bring yourself to do anything about it.

Your carefully-maintained peace shatters within a week of the devastating interaction with Kuroo. You're at your desk, listening to music while you work, when Strangers by Kenya Grace comes on. You manage to make it through the whole song, despite its constant reminder of your own situation. You begin to think that maybe you're recovering from the shock and pain when you succeed at not shedding a tear during its choruses, when the next song makes everything crumble.

Avery Lynch's smooth, high voice echoes in your ears as tears well in your eyes, making you clench both your jaw and your fists. You push yourself away from the desk, trying to take deep breaths to steady yourself.

Isn't it romantic? All the short nights and long conversations.

Line after line, word after word, each one feeling like a punch straight to your stomach. No song better encapsulates your present. Because, as much as you'd hate to admit it, Kuroo had just been a guy who gave you attention at the right time, all that time ago in organic chemistry.

Tears flow freely now, dripping down your cheeks and onto your thighs. Your nails are digging into the soft skin of your palms, and you know the marks will be atrociously red. It feels like air isn't getting to your lungs properly as you weep, taking gasping breaths when the tears ebb enough for you to do so. Despite your attempts to keep your sobs quiet, you know they're loud and that there's little doubt about whether or not your housemates can hear.

It doesn't take long for a tentative knock to sound at the door, before the telltale creaking of the hinges alerts you to someone's presence. Soft footfalls land behind you before an equally-soft pair of arms wraps themselves around you. The scent of vanilla and daffodils floods your nostrils as Yachi begins stroking your hair with one hand while you cry.

You shift positions, burrowing your head into her shoulder as she tightens her hug. "There, let it out," she whispers softly into your hair, stroking comforting patterns on your back.

And let it out you do. At some point during, Tadashi and Kiyoko also enter your room, each one showing you their own form of affection. Tadashi pats your head, while Kiyoko also holds you with Yachi, both of them whispering soft words that fall on deaf ears as you hiccup and whimper.

And there the four of you stay for a while, their presences offering comfort beyond words as you truly, wholeheartedly, let it out.

[bookskeepers]

the neuroscience of falling in love ★ chapter two

content warnings: less funny than the last chapter [in my opinion but also i didn't reread it yet so this could be completely incorrect]. more portuguese. bokuto's in love. hinata uses grammar. kiyoko threatens murder. really bad pickup line. heavily suggestive content between kuroo and y/n.

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ignore timestamps pls

taglist: @punkhazardlaw

☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

translations:

"nao meu. eu escrevo atras meu dormi" = not me. i write in my sleep

"eu tenho uma resposta" = i have an answer

"desculpe" = sorry

"sim bokuto sim" = yes bokuto yes

☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

information:

akaashi is, perhaps, the only person ensuring bokuto is actually on track with participating in the sleep study

y/n read the first page of bokuto's sleep journal and got really confused because the first line was "dear journal, today i ate my usual protein shake" and the rest of the page was the recipe, ingredients, and nutritional information of the protein shake

hinata is fluent in gen alpha slang and uses it exclusively to piss tsukishima off

akaashi still thinks bokuto should go to therapy

bokuto stared at his phone for 5 minutes before coming up with the "classes come second to advancement in science" response. he was really proud of it

your response made him embarrassed and he typed random words in a sentence before throwing his phone on his bed and leaving the apartment

hinata only uses grammar for comedy purposes

bokuto truly believes the 3:30pm on tuesday meeting is to hang out with you. he's a little confused on how neuroscience studies work but he's got spirit at least

kuroo did not realize how his request to his housemates sounded until after he sent it and he regretted it immensely

y/n managed to stay the night at kuroo's without being spotted by akaashi or bokuto tho, which was impressive

they got up to usual "2 horny college students in one room" shenanigans

y/n is currently not speaking to yachi, yamaguchi, or kiyoko because of the "y/ntervention"

yachi is very proud of "y/ntervention"

☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･:*:･★彡･:*:･☆彡･::･★彡･::･☆

bonus!