#also i am so tired.. what not getting enough sleep for a week will do to a mf
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deoidesign · 8 months ago
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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burningcomputerpersona · 10 days ago
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second night of not being able to fall asleep since the new semester started. now im remembering why i stopped taking my adhd meds
#look im a fan of staying up late when it's done voluntarily but this is NOT voluntary#i need to get actual sleep bc i need to actually use my brain for school shit tomorrow and i only got like 2 hours of sleep last night#does my body care about that tho? noooo absolutely not no sleep for you for the rest of your life#even the benadryl isn't working anymore and I've already had 150mg#i need one of those chloroform soaked rags they use in movies when knocking someone out to kidnap them#just. im not fucking doing anything. this would be a much better use of my time if i used it to actually do shit like homework#but nooo i was too tired and wanted to go to sleep early but the sleep never came and the task is firmly stuck in tomorrow mode#and i don't even wanna do the tasks bc i never wanna do anything ever except when i take my adhd meds#but when i do take the meds i can't fall asleep. fucking fantastic#in the words of laura jane grace: i need a week long cocaine binge#wait that would probably make my sleeplessness worse tho nevermind#just. i thought this shit was supposed to be addictive. i just keep not wanting to take them#like the opposite of compulsive redosing or something#ugh ykw maybe i should just try fighting fire with fire#just keep going with the meds to see how long it takes until the lack of sleep is enough to overpower the insomnia#maybe i just need to be harder on myself. stop thinking about what i do or don't want#bc i keep getting stuck in this cycle where i try to find a way to convince myself why i should do a task#but end up only thinking of how i absolutely do not want to do the task#and decide to try being more constructive by asking myself what i do want#only to find that the one single thing i want is just to Not#and coming to the inevitable conclusion that i really just need to kill myself#except that's also a task i need to do that takes energy and i don't rlly wanna do that either so that's one bright side ig#ugh i hate this i hate complaining like if you don't like something abt the situation then fucking do something about it or suck it up#and here i am. doing neither.#i swear i need to be put down like a dog. where's that post abt getting into puppy play so you can be euthanized#welp. i guess it's a good thing i got a therapist before the semester started. he's gonna be in for a shock#mine#vent
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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#hello darkness my old friend. I have insomnia again#it seems i wont get back to sleep. making this the 4th night in a row of 4 to 5hrs sleep. woof#is it insomnia or am i on the bleeding edge of hyp0mania? idk its weird. i can feel the strain in my head#my thoughts dont connect as well. its like im being pulled in two directions. my brain becoming spaghettified. growing thin around the#middle. but im not as tired as one might expect. ive been pretty productive and optimistic but anxiety and internal restlessness are up#like im tired but also i need to get up and pace around. maybe jump up and down. maybe run in circles.#the energy comes in waves. sitting in lectures or sitting for the extended addition of l0tr has been somewhat unbearable#bc im so contained. i would not ever get up and walk around while those things were happening but i desperately wanted to#ugh. whats my problem? who's to say. could also b the medication. i see the psychiatrist next week and i think ill beg to b put back on#lam1ctal. just bc when i was taking it on a super low does i had a week or feeling the most normal i think i ever have in my life#anxiety and evil thoughts were so small and i felt happy in a way im not sure i ever have been#like i think under normal circumstances i just have a low capacity for joy. at most i feel neutral. like i was telling my friends how i#might do some field work in winter and they were enthusiastic abt it and i kno y bc it sounds cool but idk i just dont feel anything abt it#i cant see past the pain it will take to get there. and i mean mood wise i feel alright on 4bilify like in a nutral way but stable isnt#the same as feeling happy. but maybe its all just in my head. 25mg lam1ctal shouldnt b enough to b effective#but idk i think im just sensitive to the chemicals in my body. including hormone fluctuations. idk. i hope she lets me switch.#itll b a pain in the ass to readjust in terms of going off what im on now and it might not work#but theres literature on retrying lamicta1 and they say to avoid inflammatory reactions in the first 2 months. which i did not do. oops#not that i was trying. i didnt think abt it until id had a million holes poked in my skin and was experiencing a mild tatt00 allergy#ugh. anyway. tbh id prefer this being hyp0mania vs insomnia bc then at least i can continue to function a bit during the day#ive never done anything that wild while hyp0manic aside from injure myself from over exercising and make bad choices in how i spend time#ie become insane abt something and not b able to think abt anything else. ugh. and i guess at this point ive tentatively accepted the idea#of being bip0lar. so i swear to christ if i was misdiagnosed ill b so mad. its just that if i fill out an 4dhd and bip0lar checklist. i#get a way heavy positive with bip0lar and the 4dhd is meh. so i think i just have overlap in symptoms due to dyslex1a and 4utism#ugh. me and my collection of diagnoses. so it goes#unrelated
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jinkis · 2 years ago
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i hate everything
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#about to go on a rant cause i'm  ✨ stressed  ✨#i'm currently at the very end of my masters degree so i can be a fully qualified secondary teacher#however due to the teacher shortage i have been allowed to start working as a full time teacher and have been doing so for the last year#i love my job i love the kids i love the staff members#what i dont love is having to finish off my masters degree when i've been working in the profession for a year#i have learnt more being in the classroom for a year than my whole 7 years at uni doing my undergrad and masters#i am TIRED of having to waste my time and come up with bullshit assessments just so i can get this stupid degree#schools are on winter holidays at the moment and i am meant to be relaxing or prepping for the term ahead#but no ... i've been stuck in my room for the past week doing uni assessments to prove that i know how to implement teaching strategies#and showcase how to write a lesson plan EVEN THOUGH NO TEACHER EVER WRITES ONE WHILE WORKING???????????#i just feel really bad for the kids cause i spend all my free time doing my uni shit or sleeping cause im so drained#i never have enough time to organise things for my lessons or come up with fun learning activities#usually i just do the bare minimum and pray for a pass#but this assessment just has a satisfactory/unsatisfactory mark so i cant just half ass this shit#also can yall believe that im only half way through this assessment??????????#i still have so much more to do ughhhh#anyway if you read all that im sorry and thank you#marie.txt
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floral-hex · 8 months ago
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So this is my thing now, I’m afraid to go to sleep. This is kinda bullshit, brain.
#I feel like I’m going to die when I fall asleep#see… I’m afraid you think I just mean I’m scared of death#no no no. no. I feel like I’m suffocating. I have to force myself to breathe. my body tingles (in a bad way). I get really overheated.#I get dizzy and feel like I’m going to pass out from lack of air. I feel sick.#I haven’t slept much lately.#I’m miserable alllll the time. I can maybe force sleep with super exhaustion but I’m drained no matter what#this isn’t the first time it’s happened but this is the longest it’s gone on#from that my anxiety is now blanketing everything bc I’m so tired and scared about not getting to sleep#sickening anxiety. I feel like puking or passing out. and I got hit with some heavy (but thankfully short) virtigo yesterday#terrible terrible terrible#and seriously. anxiety. so bad. I’m constantly trying to get high right now to fight it but it’s rough#getting high is starting to make me feel sick too. and my tolerance is building. it’s like… it’s all bad. all options.#I hate this.#AND it’s the weekend and my new primary can’t see me until Wednesday and then I’ve got to beg for… I dunno… the good stuff#god. I told myself I’d go see my doctor about this a couple of weeks ago when this last hit and I didn’t 😓#ideal scenario: all doctors fall in love with me and medically induce a short coma for me to catch up on sleep and then they give me drugs#this new doctor doesn’t know me! I haven’t laid enough groundwork! how am I supposed to beg for klonopin if we have no banter!?#that wasn’t a joke. I mean it was but it’s also serious. I need some GOOD anti-anxieties and he doesn’t know me enough to know I NEEDS IT😬#also my tinnitus is just… no sleep + stress means it gets stronger and it’s… a fucking wet willy shoved through my ear into my skull#and if I hit a bad patch of virtigo… I will… redacted.#I won’t! I will go running crying and screaming in the street before I off myself.#HEY! my insurance says I can get 30 days in-patient and I always keep that thought in my bad pocket.#*back pocket. I’m not about to go back and start redoing tags because of a few misspellings#this is so rambly#my brain is fried! I’m tired! my appetite is fucked! I don’t want to do ANYTHING!#I mean… I never want to do anything. I love being lazy. I should say that right now I CAN’T do anything. but I can. but it’s… a lot. fuck 😔#this must sound so whiny. I’m sorry. I’m sure I’ll be making more posts like this until this goes away#you can ignore this#text
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so-na-gi · 1 year ago
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2 things;
i feel like shit. 1 hour crying = free noko🐼 makeup (i;m not even going to fix my makeup i'll just go out like this. who tf cares)
i finished the witcher s1 yay. geralt (passed out for 99% of the episode) my sole support
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transgaysex · 1 year ago
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biggest fool on earth
#wind howls#my stupid ass thought act 2 started after i pass thru the mountain pass. it does not.#it seems im a ways away still....... sigh............#well. its 8 am and im tired. so i will sleep. and perhaps someday i will reach act 2 proper.#my foolish self thought maybe i could finish the game before i start college again. but i think 2 weeks wont be enough#not at the rate im going at the very least.... sigh#well. ill do the most i can. and try to spill my time as little as possible once classes start if it comes to that#i really dont wanna relive the rush i went thru this past finals season. that sucked so hard even if part of it were the strikes too#at least the strikes seem to have been resolved afaik. so hopefully the teavhers will start getting paid proper#and maybe this means well get even better equipment in our classes someday... thatd be really really nice#best case scenario would be the school paying our adobe licenses so i can use the programs at home for free-#instead of only paying those programs for the school computers instead... thatd be nice#oh my god im drawinf a blank. whats the probPREMIERE PRO#premiere pro. i have to learn to crack premiere pro. bc im not fucking paying for that. but i like the ui. and my usage is simple#but vsdc sucks shit...#theres the other free one i could use also. the . well i forgot the name. i tired before but i got confused but#now that i got an editing class proper... i think i could manage it a lot better. im sure of it.#either way its super late or really early and both spell sleep for me. so sleep i will.
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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago
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I'm gonna be so open and honest with you guys right now i fucking rly dont want to go to work tomorrow .
#im violently nauseous rn and ik its judt bc ive been in a straining position and also i ate like 20 slimjins but like km only gonna get 5#hours of sleep maximum im gonna have a headache im so tired of everything i wanna have a day off but i cant. Its only tuesday and im#already liek Please can we be done please no more this week all done all done#im so fucking sick of working i dont want to have to work for the next 40 years Minimum. i hate everythingbon earth#i dont understand how ppl work fulltime and have a life i only get 2 live At all on weekends#and even then its only 1 day saturday bc sunday is my Doing all my chores and stuff day#so i do all my laundry i tidy up the room Et cetera. i dont udnerstand how people can just do this forever#it genuinely feels like. bc i leave 4 work at 6am. i get home around 5pm. im supposed to go to bed. well technically i should go 2 bed at#9 to get a full 9 hours but look man . that would give me 4 hours a day to be a person#so my bedtime is officially 10 but usually i go to bed at 12 which means i dont get enough sleep which means as soon as i getnoff work the#next day im even less willing to do anything#+ doing anything fun fucking costs money if not the thing itself the travel expenses. and if i spend money i just have to work to make that#money back i fucking hate it. and im doing this for what. so that in 40 years i can retire and then 10 years after that oh no unforeseen#expenses or something suddenly my retirement isnt cutting it i have to go work at fucking walmart or something as a 70 year old judt to#make ends meet. god. And when the fuck am i supposed to have kids i want kids very badly one day but how the fuck am i supposed to have#kids if id only be able to spend Maximum 6 hours a day with them. thats if my work is like Doectly next door.#how. how. how. less than 6 hours even bc theyd go to bed before i did so rly like 3 hours a day with my theoretical kids Im an awful#theoretical parent and maybe my theoretical spouse works less hours so they can be home with the kids but they resent me for always being#at fucking work 9 hours a fucking day and they resent me for not being there for our theoretical kids Im sorry theoretical partner i want#to fucking be there but SOMEBODY has to put money into our theoretical savings account. UGH!!!#i hate work i hate it i hate it#i dont even hate my job i just hate that its my entire fucking life#i hate that i essentially get half a day every week thats truly mine that i get to do whatever i want. and in my current situation i barely#even fucking get that idk.
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ponderingmoonlight · 7 months ago
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Sanemi lashing out on his pregnant wife only to beg her for forgiveness later
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Pairing: Sanemi x pregnant!reader
Word Count: 3,1k
Synopsis: Like every week, you find yourself on your way back from Shinobu's estate and your pregnancy check-up. Little did you know what horror awaits you at your own home with your husband almost killing two kids...
Warnings: Sanemi is mean in this one and I mean it, extreme hurt but also comfort in the end so don't worry, full Shinazugawa package regarding language and violence lol, not proofread because I have to leave now
Thank you sooo much for that cool request @itsmscoco and I'm sorry it took a while. I really hope you like what I came up with 🤍
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You rub your minor belly. For a woman, a pregnancy should feel like a trip to heaven. After all, you are blessed with developing a child that is half you and half your husband. Oh, your beloved and surprisingly gentle husband who always makes sure that you get enough sleep, that you nutrition yourself properly. But even the wind hashira can’t do a single thing against your constant sickness and pain.
“Please try this out, (y/n). Don’t hesitate to come here again if you need something else. You really have an unfortunate pregnancy when it comes to nausea”, Shinobu comments gently while giving your belly a little massage.
“Don’t get me wrong, I am so excited about the honor of caring for a child in my own body. But honestly, I’m so glad when this pregnancy is over”, you huff while taking a deep breath in.
Please, don’t vomit all over the insect pillar who’s just trying to help. You’ve been here what feels like everyday since finding out you’re pregnant. Well, to be exact, Shinobu is the one who suggested that you might expect a child.
Because of your never-ending sickness.
“Oh, there’s nothing to get wrong at all! After all, your pregnancy is a rather difficult one. But I’m sure Shinazugawa is taking good care of you!”
“He definitely does. My husband is an angel”, you reply in an instant.
You can’t wait to go back home. Even though your sleep-drunken eyes won’t be able to stay open longer than maybe a few hours, even though you weren’t able to catch a proper glimpse at Sanemi’s part in the on-going hashira training until now, you can’t wait to go back home. Back into your estate, back into the arms of your beloved husband.
“Not quite the codename I’d use for him, but that’s just what love does, right? I will send a kakushi along with you. Otherwise, Shinazugawa might show up and threaten me”, Shinobu jokes while helping you to get up.
“Thank you for your help. Again.”
You pull the insect hashira into a deep hug. How lucky you should consider yourself for the opportunity to call Shinobu your friend, that Sanemi laid his eyes on you. Out of all the countless women around, the ones with faces like porcelain and bodies so well-formed you can’t hold a candle against every single one of them. But still, he chose you.
“Come on, (y/n). Why are you crying?”, Shinobo whispers into your ear while rubbing small circles onto your back.
“I’m just a little overwhelmed from everything I guess”, you mumble against her comforting shoulder.
Just a few months ago, you would have laughed at anyone who told you that your life would turn out like this. Of course, you’ve lost countless good friends and family members on the way and living with a suborn husband like Sanemi isn’t always easy. But somehow, the two of you always make it work.
Right?
-at the wind hashira estate-
“We are almost there. Are you feeling alright?”
“Oh, don’t worry about me. I’m just a little tired from walking, that’s all!”
Truth is, your feet hurt like hell. Shinobu reported about women who don’t even feel their baby until the second trimester. Why are your feet already swollen, your belly bloated, your guts constantly turning? And there’s still so much ahead.
“Looks like Shinazugawa-sama received a new bunch of trainees after the other corps members all landed in Kocho-sama’s hospital wing”, the kakushi next to you comments dryly.
“Was it really that bad?”
Of course you heard about the rather brutal training methods of your husband. After all, even the walls of his estate aren’t thick enough to stop every single scream from reaching your ears. But still…
“It was pretty bad. Some of the-“
Glass cracking. Screams from afar. Out of instinct, you pick up your pace until you dash towards your home, sweat now dripping from every pore. What happened? Is Sanemi alright? He wouldn’t leash out on one of his students like that. Something must have happened. A demon? No, it’s still daytime. But what is it?
“He’s back! He’s back! That cold-blooded man! Lie down and pretend that you’ve fainted!”, a blonde-haired boy screams while almost collapsing onto the floor.
“What are you talking about? What’s going on here?”, you press out.
Your lungs threaten to fail you, breath already tasting like pure iron.
Until your eyes find Genya.
Your guts twist and turn in every direction, almost force you to vomit all over the place. Genya shouldn’t be here. Out of all people, it shouldn’t be him. And who’s the boy next to him. That familiar scar, you’ve seen that boy before. Is it possible that…
“Kamado Tanjiro”, you breathe out.
Maybe that is even worse.
Your eyes dart around the area without an aim. Where’s Sanemi? Did he find them already? They need to leave before he finds out that they’re here, carry on with another hashira training.
“Please stop now!”, Tanjiro suddenly shouts while stretching out his arm in defence.
An uneasy feeling crawls up your spine, the dark claws of sickening foreshadowing. All you can do is standing death still right where you are and watch in sheer horror as your husband stomps out of your estate motion.
Is that your husband you love and adore, though? You know how untamed he can get especially when getting confronted with his painful past. It was never easy for him to see Genya join the demon slayer corps or realize that his mother could have been saved like Tanjiro’s sister.
But never in your entire life have you seen him like this. The empty shell of your husband, muscles tensed to the maximum and his empty orbs directed towards the two boys in front of him.
In this very moment, you’d trust him to actually kill them.
“What are you going to do? Are you planning to kill Genya?”, Tanjiro continues passionately.
Your glossy orbs are set on your husband. Would he really do something like that? What if you witness the father of your unborn child taking the life of two other human beings? Your heart can’t take it, knees threaten to fail you.
“Hell no, I’m not going to kill him. It would be easy enough to kill him, but since it’s against the rules and all…I’m going to ruin him beyond recovery!”
Until your blurry head finally makes a decision and allows your feet to run.
Straight towards the two boys.
Straight into the firing line.
Straight into the sight of your now maniac husband.
“You won’t do any of these things, you hear me?”, you jeer at him with your new-found courage.
“(y/n)”, Genya breathes behind you.
“How dare you to talk to innocent children like that, Sanemi?”
The man in front of you furrows his eyebrows, hands clenched into tight fists while taking a step towards you.
“Get lost. Right now”, he hisses through gritted teeth.
You swallow hard, all nerves now tingling in sheer horror. This is the first and last warning, without any doubt. The look on his stone-cold face tells you more than urgently that Sanemi isn’t playing, that he doesn’t want you here.
Maybe it’s best if you go back inside and pretend that nothing happened. He himself said that he won’t kill them, after all…
“I’m not leaving”, you bite back.
But that would mean leaving Genya alone. That would mean giving up all of your principles.
“Will you act out like this towards our child as well?”, you continue while growing bigger and bigger in front of the two boys.
He might be your husband, the love of your life. That doesn’t mean you’ll always have to do what he tells you, tough. Instinctively, you clench your hands into tight fists with your glossy eyes almost piercing through him. Enough is enough.
“If our child acts as dumb as you do, I sure as hell will!”
Oh.
Your heart drops to the floor when a nauseous wave of agony hits you with full force. Sanemi is and has always been a hot-headed man who never thought twice about the things he said. But never, not even once in your entire relationship he insulted you.
Until now.
“Is this really how you feel about me? We should support each other, you should listen to me as well as-“
“Spare me with that bullshit, (y/n)”, Sanemi spits at you.
“Get.out.of.the.way. Can’t you hear me?”
It’s like you stop living for a moment. All this time, you did your best to understand him and his grief. Everything Sanemi does comes with a logical reason behind it, even though it’s hard to see from time to time. But lashing out at you like that?
“Stop being so disrespectful to me right now. I am your wife-“
“Right now, you’re my problem”, he jeers back.
“And now get off my sight and let me finish this real quick-“
You don’t know what made you act the way you just did. Was it his cruel behaviour, the way his words cut through your heart like a thousand knives? Before your husband is even able to finish his sentence, your palm races towards his cheek with full force.
The world around you goes silent, frightful gazes glued onto you while you can’t stop your tears from falling anymore.
“Is this how you’re acting around your pregnant wife by now, how you’ll treat innocent children? If that’s the live you chose, I’m not a part of it anymore”, you hiss through gritted teeth.
Suddenly, the urge to get as far away from him as possible becomes unbearable. Your feet start sprinting towards the estate on your own, carry you into your now so empty-feeling bedroom.
And finally, you allow yourself to break down and cry.
Is this really the man you love, that you’d give your life for? Your shaky fingers caress your belly mindlessly.
You can’t stay here. Not when Sanemi showed you a completely different face today. Not when this place doesn’t feel like home anymore.
-a few hours later-
“Fuck!”, Sanemi cries out on top of his lungs while dashing towards Obanai over and over.
Why can’t he get your stupid words out of his mind? The way you stood there with tears in your eyes, how he was literally able to hear your heart crack when those damned words left his mouth. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, to drag you into the fuckery with his little brother and that Kamado boy.
But why did he say all those dumb things, then?
“You seem off, Shinazugawa”, Obanai comments dryly, hitting the wind hashira with full force again.
“I guess I fucked up”, Sanemi mumbles.
What if you won’t forgive him for today? Your last words haunt him since the moment you left him standing in the rain.
“I bet you can talk your way out of it-“
“Hell nah. I don’t think she wants to see me tonight.”
“Did you ask her, though?”
“Who the hell do you think you are anyway? You’re the one to talk, not able to confess your feelings to Mitsuri”, Sanemi barks at the man next to him.
“But yeah, maybe I should get going…”
Coming home never fuelled him with so much fright. What if you’re still angry at him, if you refuse to even talk to him? Or even worse, what if you’ll really leave him?
Sanemi’s guts turn in an instant, feet now picking up their pace with every step. He can’t lose you. Not you, the light of his life. Not when you are the only ray of sunshine in this rotting hell. What the hell did he do? The fact that he even raised his voice at you is unforgivable.
Finally, his fingers grab the door that leads to your shared bedroom, finally he’s able to make up for his mistakes of today-
His eyes widen in sheer horror.
You’re gone.
Right there where your head should rest, there’s absolutely nothing.
Panic starts rising up his chest, forces his heart down his throat.
Did you leave?
He yanks out of your shared room, eyes roaming around each and every corner of your estate. But you aren’t there. You aren’t here.
“My lady is at the love hashira’s estate.”
Sanemi darts up immediately, greeted by the oh so familiar voice of your personal crow.
“Is she fine, why did she-“
“With all due respect, I suggest you to control yourself before making any more insensitive comments to my lady-“
“Who the hell do you even think you are you-“
“Your earlier spoken words really troubled her and my lady certainly does not deserve that.”
Without another word, your crow disappears into the darkness of night again.
Sanemi swallows hard. Fuck, did he really hurt you that badly? He never wanted you to feel bad, never wanted to hurt you. Damn, he only wanted to show Genya and that Kamado boy their places. It shouldn’t have hit you. Out of all people, why did he have to hurt you?
“I need to tell her”, he mumbles under his breath before dashing towards the love hashira estate.
-at Mitsuri’s-
“I can’t believe Shinazugawa said something like this to you, (y/n)! You are super far away from being dumb, after all! Here, eat another pancake and stay as long as you want.”, Mitsuri babbles while handing you another plate.
Your dry eyes are barely able to stay open any longer. All the grief, explaining, fighting and crying did apparently really wear you out. Good for you Mitsuri’s estate is near by and you just know she’ll always open her arms for you.
“Thank you so much for taking me in, Kanroji. I really don’t deserve your kindness”, you sniffle.
“You have to be joking, (y/n)! It’s my duty as your friend to be there for you anytime you need me! And also, I-”
Three violent knocks on Mitsuri’s wooden door almost send you over the edge. It’s past after midnight, the time closer to the morning than evening. Who would knock on Mitsuri’s door this late at night?
“Do you think that’s a demon?”, you mutter in horror, both pairs of eyes set on the door.
“I don’t think so. Let’s see!”
Before you’re able to stop Mitsuri, she rips open the door.
And reveals no other than your husband.
“Sanemi”, you breathe out.
Tears start swelling up your eyes in an instant when a flood of memories crushes you all over again. Just a few hours ago, your husband made very clear that he doesn’t want to see you again anytime soon. How did he find out that you’re here?
“(y/n), can we…have a talk?”, he mumbles with icy voice.
“Do you want to leave me?”, you blurt out.
“What?”
Is that really how you feel, what you think of him? That he’ll turn his back on you after a fight? He did say all those nasty things to you, though.
“I think I’m going out and…cook!”, Mitsuri announces while sprinting out of the door, leaving you alone in the room with all that tension and him.
Him, the man you love more than anything else in this world. And also him, who broke your heart like he never did before.
“You have to be kidding me”, Sanemi mutters under his breath.
You turn away before you lose your composure completely.
“Why are you here, Sanemi?”
“Do you really think I’m here to dump you!? You, my pregnant wife!? You can’t be fucking serious about that!”
In the matter of seconds, you find yourself surrounded by his usual so comforting arms that now hurt like daggers against your skin.
“Please, let me go, I can’t do this ri-“
“(y/n), please.”
His suffocated voice forces your eyes to dart upwards.
Instantly, your heart drops to the floor.
Is this really your husband, crying against your shoulder while pressing your body against his?
“I’m sorry for all the shit I’ve said, I’m sorry for making you feel this way. I’d never leave you, not when I’m even lucky for calling you mine. I shouldn’t have dragged you into this, I just…I just can’t stand them…”
“Sanemi…”
“And I get that I don’t deserve you and that I’m a jerk for hurting you. I know you could’ve had every man you wanted-“
“Sanemi!”, you snap at him, holding onto his face tightly.
“But you’re the one I want”, you finally cry out.
“But your words hurt me. Is this really how you feel about me? Do you really think I’m a burden?”
“I was out of my fucking mind for saying that to you! You’re my blessing, my everything, the sunshine in this rotting hell. You’re…You’re my wife, right?”
That innocent look on his now tear-soaked face runs shivers down your spine, reminds you that even though he acted out today, this man is still the Sanemi Shinazugawa you fell in love with years ago.
“I am your wife”, you press out before a new wave of tears haunts you down.
“I’m so sorry, (y/n). So so sorry”, he mutters again and again while kissing every tear away that escapes your eyes.
“And I’ll never talk to you like that again, I promise.”
“Will you promise to not treat Tanjiro and Genya like that ever again too?”
Sanemi shifts his weight underneath you, his orbs growing hard again. Was this too much to ask for? No. Even though you love Sanemi’s rough side as well, he simply can’t do something like this again. Not when you’re his wife, not when you are expecting his first very own child.
“I will. But only if these jerks leave me alone”, he grumbles before giving you a passionate kiss.
“That might be manageable. I want to go home now…”
“No problem, I’ll carry you-“
“You really don’t have to carry me-“
“Oh, but I sure as hell will.”
“HAVE A GOOD NIGHT YOU TWO! AND DON’T ACT LIKE A JERK AGAIN, SHINAZUGAWA!”
“Did you have to tell her everything?”
“She’s my friend, Sanemi. Of course I had to.”
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Tags: @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix  @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld
@froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @poketrainer2270 @chaoticwinnercupcake
@lees-chaotic-brain @wordskeeper @polarbvnny @sugu-love @ryva @baku2345
@komelrebi-san @kentocalls @barbuse @sunshine7queen @lavenderdrxp
@yaninnaacu @hopefulbelievertimemachine @laurencrsnt
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southernvampire · 1 year ago
Text
.
#i had a really good energy day. i was awake at 8 in the morning and hung out with my mother in law from 10 to 4#we went shopping and got food and it was a really good day#but it wasnt enough. the moment i got home i realized how tired my body was and i took two naps#i woke up from my last nap over an hour ago and i still feel like im in a twilight state of consciousness#im so tired but my dream was ao vivid and real despite being nonsensical that it freaked me out and i dont want to go back to sleep#but im also so emotionally fragile and cant watch videos without something making me want to cry#im supposed to go on my honeymoon in two weeks to disney world. objectively not a good place to go with low energy and weak muscles#but i wanted to go back so bad and didnt want to keep putting it off since i might be like this forever#yet the idea of me getting this exhausted each day is making me wonder if im wasting our money and that we wont have fun bc of me#like this was the best day energy wise ive had in almost a year and i feel this awful now. how am i supposed to last a week at disney?#we've been spending 3 years waiting to have money and time for our honeymoon#ugh. im not ok. i just want a new body so i wont feel like im dying every other day#im just hoping that we chose a good time to go to avoid crowds as much as possible to reduce the chance of getting covid#bc i cant just keep waiting for covid to be gone to do things. i can mask but i cant stay home almost all the time anymore or else i will go#insane#i want to just live life and not constantly worry about getting covid from going to a store but i also dont know whats wrong with me#and wont see my specialist until december so i dont want to get really sick and mess up my health even more#i havent gotten covid yet though so hopefully that will continue. triple vaxed and it seems to be working for me#i'll still be careful though but i hope i have the energy to have fun bc these past 3 years have been trying to kill me with trauma
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ddejavvu · 4 months ago
Note
I just saw an ad Instagram for a thong that said ‘all you can eat buffet’ on it and I am BEGGING you to write James reacting to r wearing it 😭
this post is 18+, minors dni.
It's a gag, nothing more. The block letters are ugly, big white shapes that are already cracking on the surface of the red fabric. But their message is worth it: ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET'.
An ad for the thong had jumped out at you during your nightly social media scroll only a few weeks ago, and you'd ordered it while James was snoring beside you. He appreciates a good joke, but he's also been known to appreciate a good meal, and you wonder if the manufacturer had made them personally for you and James.
You wear them beneath the little sleep shorts that drive James crazy, the ones that are so loose he can always catch a glimpse of your underwear beneath them. You're just tucking yourself beneath the blankets, keeping your thigh purposefully visible, when James stumbles into the room with a hand buried deep in his curls, scratching away at them.
He's mid-yawn, and you're slightly taken aback when he refrains from making a comment about your attire. He's usually all over you, and you have no doubt that he'll be nearly on top of you when you're both beneath the covers, but you can't believe he managed to keep a crass comment out of his mouth.
"Sirius wants to try out a new bike repair shop tomorrow," James mumbles, clearly tired as he shucks off his joggers and heads for bed with only his shirt and briefs remaining, "'Says the place opens bloody early- six I think? Closes at nine. So I've gotta haul my ass up before then."
"Oh." You retort, trying to keep the disappointment out of your voice as you settle, "Sorry, Jamie. We can sleep early tonight."
He hums encouragingly into the sheets as he gets situated, reaching immediately for you just as you'd known he would. His large hands gravitate towards your waist, and even if he's too tired and responsible to think about sex tonight, his hand snakes into the waistband of your shorts for safekeeping.
He feels the blocky, stiff cool of the lettering on the front of your thong and you feel his brows furrow where his head is pressed into your shoulder. He peeks over it now, stretching the waistband of your shorts open and keeping the blankets lifted so that he can see what you're wearing in the dim lights you have yet to turn off.
"What-" He squints, trying to read upside-down without his glasses, but it's a hopeless case. You're already halfway towards a fit of giggles, and you shimmy out of your shorts to stand proudly on your knees close enough for him to see.
"All you can eat buffet," He reads, murmuring the words while his face lights up and a hearty laugh escapes his throat, "Darling! That's cheeky, where did you get that?"
"I found it online." You giggle, and he braces a hand on your thigh to admire it. He studies you for a moment, still chuckling, and then he moves to sit up, staring at you expectantly.
"Well lay down, darling." He invites you, "Let's see this buffet."
"No, James, it's alright!" You insist, "You have to be up early for Sirius. It can wait, I'll wear them some other time for you."
"No," He whines, sounding petulant, "Your terrible jokes and impulsive financial habits have charmed me. On your back, darling."
"James, you don't-" You shake your head but he takes your face in his hands, pressing his head closer to yours so that you're pushed back and subsequently laid down, "-you don't have to do this, we can-"
"God, you make eating pussy sound like a chore." He mumbles between kisses, kissing next at your chin, then the pudge beneath it as you lay on the bed, "Relax, darling. All-you-can-eats are my favorite, and I've just realized I'm hungry."
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night-raven-tattler · 2 months ago
Text
The pains of being human
Summary: You're dealing with period related misfortunes, and you feel vulnerable... mostly because you reached a point where you had to share your predicament with someone you trusted (?).
Characters: Deuce, Floyd, Lilia and GN!Reader (separate, vague)
Warnings: mentions of menstrual products, food, medicine; discussions of periods and related symptoms (such as: bleeding, cramps, nausea, mood swings.)
By opening the document, you agree to Mx Tattly's terms of source confidentiality.
-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
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You were in your dorm room, stuck in a real predicament: not stocking up on your menstrual products, and leaving the room to buy yourself some seemed too risky, fearing you might get a stain and embarass yourself in front of the whole school
It wasn't a very likely situation, but the anxiety was not worth it, so you relied the first person you were close enough with to help you out: Deuce
You shot him a simple text
"i am on my period, can you buy me some products? i'll pay you back when you get here"
and expected an awkward but supportive reply, since teenage boys and periods can be like oil and water sometimes or demons and cruxes...
But the text you received in return was... mildly surprising.
"yeah sure. pads? tampons?"
"what size do you need?"
"anything else you need? painkillers? something sweet?"
You even double checked the number to make sure you didn't text anyone else
He even knew about sizes! And he thought about painkillers! You were more and more touched with each message coming through
And, with the proper instructions, Deuce was on his way to Sam's
He was not embarassed for even a second: he was there on a mission, and he accomplished it successfully without any missteps
...Well, except of his little delay, caused by a pair of nosy boys, who received their proper threats from Deuce for interrupting his mission with their toxic masculinity
He knocked at your door, and for a second he was expecting his mother to open the door; after all, she was the only one he has ever bought these things for before you
You gratefully welcomed him in, waddling your way back to your bed as you inspected the bag he brought you
"Thank you, Deuce. You're a livesaver... How much did everything cost you?"
Deuce saw the tired look on your face, the heavy lids that indicated a lack of proper sleep, and he shook his head
"It's on me this time."
You scoffed, knowing Deuce was also on a budget; as much of a sweetheart and an honors student he was, Deuce deserved to be rewarded
"...I wanna think of a compromise, but my brain is too tired right now."
You groaned, closing your eyes as you rested them for a few seconds
Deuce shook his head at you again and clicked his tongue in fond exasperation
He wanted to be nice and offer you an out, but you were dead set on being nice to him...
"...A latte."
You opened your eyes, looking at Deuce in confusion
"I'm sorry?"
"I want a latte. One of those fancy ones from that café in town. When you're done with the, uh... bear week."
A small snort escaped you as you gave Deuce an amused look
"Bear week? Not shark week?"
Deuce's eyes widened slightly, and he looked away as his cheeks grew warmer
"...Mom never called it that. She always said that fighting a bear is more likely to happen than fighting a shark... and that it sounds cooler."
You nodded, feeling very inclined to agree with his mom, and decided to steal that phrase
You were very relieved to have someone as reliable as Deuce near you, and despite the fact that Deuce wasn't the most diligent person, he always made sure to carry one of your preffered products with him at all times
No matter what kind of teases he received from anyone for it, he knew he was showing a level of care not many would
And while helping you... he was helping himself
He was still dealing with the guilt of being so embarassed when his own mom sent him to buy pads; he couldn't help his mom with such a simple thing even after everything she's done
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But he can be more careful this time... more appreciative
『••✎••』
The moment Floyd spotted you in the hallways was when things went downhill: Floyd didn't really bring sunshine and rainbows around with himself
By that point you were used to his shenanigans, but you still gave some interesting reactions
A gasp, a swat to his hand... but never tears
He wouldn't have yelled in your ear if he knew you'd burst into tears: he wasn't in the mood to deal with the aftermath
But he quickly put two and two together, seeing the way you were frozen on the spot, almost trying to pick between scolding him and saying something else
Unbeknownst to Floyd, you were simply trying to get back to your dorm after noticing a pretty sizeable stain on your pants from your period
And the anxiety from trying to go unnoticed put you on edge, making your reaction to Floyd so much worse
"...Please just get me out of here."
Your small plea came after a tense silence, in which Floyd was reading your expression with an almost uninterested look
But he still hoisted you over his shoulder without any hesitation, much to your embarassment
"Floyd...! Not like this, put me down!"
"Eh~? You're so hard to please, little discus!"
Floyd did not put you down, of course
It was causing a bit of a scene, so you decided that, in the end, you'll take whatever got you to your dorm room the fastest
"Alright, fine...! Just get me to my dorm then!"
"Boooring! Why can't we go somewhere more fun?"
Floyd complained while going in the direction of your dorm
"Because I'm not in the mood for fun, Floyd! I..."
Your cheeks turned red, realising you almost revealed something too personal
To your surprise, Floyd didn't point it out; he just pouted as he walked towards your dorm
You reached your dorm room soon thanks to Floyd's long legs, and you were able to change into fresh clothes, easing your anxiety and making you feel like crying from relief
Until you realised Floyd was still in your room, even after you told him you'd be having no fun together today
He looked you up and down, his face betraying his confusion
"Now can you tell me why you were smelling like blood? Did anyone do something? Do I get to deliver a revenge plan and squeeze some aquarium fish?"
Floyd's almost sadistic delivery did not phase you at all, and all you were thinking was that of course Floyd noticed
You had no other option but to explain
"I just... got a blood stain from my, uh... my period..."
Silence.
"...What do classes have to do with that?"
Your eyes widened as you came to a horrifying conclusion: Floyd couldn't know what period were, because he was a merman
You saw your short life flash before your eyes in horror at the prospect of having to explain periods to a teenager... when Floyd just burst into laughter
"Oh, you actually believe that! You are so funny!"
Much to your relief, Floyd's confusion was just a prank; he figured you had your period before you even said anything
He revealed that he took classes about humans, their customs and anatomy when he first decided to come on land
And he also dodged the pillows you threw at him with practiced ease
It was the last time you even talked about it: neither of you brough it up again, and you didn't know how to feel about it
On one hand, you were relieved, but on the other hand, you expected Floyd of all people to ask questions and be all annoying about it
But Floyd didn't really care about things like that
In fact, he found your periods hilarious: your mood swins in particular were funny, and he almost enjoyed making things that you could digest
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And he would never admit it, but he felt proud when you seemed to feel a bit better after he helped you during your period
『••✎••』
Every once in a while, you found yourself being enveloped in a hug from behind from the old bat
He would either hand you a piece of homemade chocolate by him or some cute trinket he thought sould cheer you up
Lilia was a very cute individual, and he was surprisingly affectionate for someone who was definitely a teenager and not a retired war veteran attending highschool, so you never questioned it
...until you found Lilia wrapping his jacket around your torso gingerly from behind
"...There we go. Not too tight?"
His cute, softer voice vibrated through your back as he still was glued to you
"It's... not, but why did you..."
"Oh, haven't you heard? Jackets wrapped around waists are the latest fad! It's cool and chic!"
You didn't argue with him on it, especially after you tried to untie the jacket from your waist and were blocked by Lilia, who was still holding you from behind
The proximity was getting to you, and you felt your cheeks flushing, your knees growing a bit weak, your stomach doing flips-
Wait, no. That wasn't butterflies in your stomach, that was a sharp pain from... lower
As you put two and two together, Lilia started walking you down the hallway into a secluded classroom, his hand around your waist and making you two look as casual and unassuming as always
The moment Lilia closed the door of the abandoned classroom, you his your face in your hands from embarassment
"Oh, my god... This can't be happening to me..."
The tone in your voice betrayed how mortified you felt, but was glad that you had this realisation away from prying eyes
You didn't even realise the leak, since you were already using products, and it already felt like you leaked blood all the time...
Lilia only chucked at your realisation
"Khee hee... Someone was a bit caught off guard today, huh?"
Your pathetic whimper was the only answer Lilia received, and his eyes sparkled with mirth
He still brought out his magical pen and waved it gently in the air, muttering something under his breath
"Take that jacket off and turn around for me?"
You did as he instructed, but only because you felt more... dry, all of a sudden
Lilia hummed in delight as he saw the spot being gone, his spell working
"Good. No more damning evidence... Now all you gotta do is go on your merry way."
You sighed in relief and slipped onto an empty chair, letting the small rollercoaster of emotions settle down within you
Lilia was nothing short of a lifesaver, and he handled the situation with so much grace that it left you speechless
When you asked about it, he just laughed
"I'm no stranger to blood."
That was all he said... Not ominous at all /s
Still, you were very grateful at the way Lilia handled everything
Since then, he started being even more doting on you whenever you were in your period
He was almost... motherly in a way
And for some reason, the idea of Lilia as a parental figure didn't seem too far fetched...
He always was on the lookout for any other accidents and even tried talking you into trying the reusable alternatives for your products
What surprised no one was when he became even more eager to supplement you with nutritional food whenever you were low on energy
And so much more disappointed when your nausea made his food somehow even worse to be around
『••✎••』
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miaoua3 · 2 months ago
Text
(pairing: jeonghan x f!reader)
missing my angel a little bit more today
“babyyyy”, you hear somewhere behind the couch in your boyfriend’s whiney voice. turning your head around, you see his tired face looking at you pleadingly, his silky black hair pushed back by his pink hello kitty hairband.
smiling gently at him, you question “yeah? what do you need baby?”.
his eyes blinking slowly at you, tiredness evidently in them, the black circles slightly visible even with the concealer under his eyes.
“could you help me do my skincare? i am…so very exhausted, i can’t even hold my arms up long enough to wash my face.”, and by the gentleness in his voice and his dropped shoulders, you know he’s telling the truth.
immediately getting up, instead of responding with your words, you hold your hand out for him to take it.
smiling small at you, he takes it.
you lead him to your bathroom before you point to the bathroom counter.
“sit.”
groaning, he responds “i can’t jump up there right now, can i just sit on the toilet?”
smiling gently at him, you stretch on your tippy toes to kiss his cheek before responding “of course, whatever’s more comfortable for you.”
sitting down, jeonghan finally closes his eyes, waiting for you to start.
you start with micellar water to remove the rest of his makeup, being extremely gentle around the eyes area. then you move to oil cleansing, gently rubbing your fingers against his soft cheeks. after thoroughly washing the oil off, you move to the cleanser, just as a means to remove any excess oil left on his skin.
somewhere between you gently applying the toner and the moisturiser, jeonghan’s head starts to slide downwards, a tell that he’s slowly falling asleep.
kissing his lips gently to wake him up, you whisper “let’s brush our teeth and go to sleep.”
opening his eyes, he looks up at you with red eyes from exhaustion. blinking once, twice, he suddenly grabs your hips before he pulls you close, resting his head against your stomach, letting his arms wrap tightly around your waist.
whispering softly, he says “just one more minute…i haven’t been able to spend this much time with you in weeks…i miss your warmth and hugs so much…i miss my home..”, his slurred words tell you that he definitely isn’t fully aware of the things he’s telling you, that he also isn’t aware just how much the words affected you.
blinking your tears away, you softly push his hair back, scratching his scalp in the process as a way to comfort him. “okay. one more minute.”
after five more minutes of him hugging you and you two brushing your teeth, as you lay in your bed with him in your arms, his soft breath tickling your neck as he lays his head on your chest, there’s only one thought going through your mind.
i missed my home too. so much.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
Text
...
#sometimes u just gotta have a cringe fail weekend. is what i tell myself bc i let the fact that i forgot to check my new#email completely obliterate me. also i haven't been sleeping enough. also just the normal thoughts in my head#by which i mean the part of my brain that demands consequences for inattention by means of suffering. devine punishment.#which is irrational and annoying but knowing that doesnt seem to help. so ive just been laying here in the hopes i come unspooled and start#to disintegrate. which is annoying bc ive got stuff to do#specifically bc i am supposed to b a TA this semester. which is what i figured but also feared#so. thats gonna b a lot. tho not as much as my old school bc they dont make TAs do literally everything here apparently#but. itll b a lot. and also i have to finish signing up for classes. bc i didnt do that back in April by my brain was melting. also i have#to keep doing my job and dealing with my data. ugh. well. being a TA isnt so bad. i do like to help ppl learn even if im not very good at it#like. i struggle with thr talking to ppl part. like the transition of ny thoughts to something thst makes sense#oh well. hope i end up teaching something im not too unqualified for. i could do soils. Ecology. uhhh. maybe intro bio but i never even took#university level biology. i just skipped upper level courses. that's probably it. anything else would b a lotta faking it#ugh. im tired. i should go to sleep at 9pm. thr sun hasbt even set and i should sleep#tomorrow i have to get my shit together. but also i wanna email my new professor like hey bro like what do u want me to do???#like how do i start in this lab? when do we start talking. like just not to b pushy but whats thr procedure?#i like Structure but also its like weeks until the semester starts so we got time. im just a lil nuts#jesus. its gonna b an interesting semester. hopefully fun but uh it is sorta like taking a boat out when u can see big ominous clouds#like im sure ill b fine but also i might get dumped over into a watery grave. i just. i have a lot of papers to write#and its gonna b hard to b a student on top of that. partly bc what im gonna b doing now is almost completely unrelated#which is probably y ppl stick to the same track they stsrt on. that awkward moment when ppl ask u if ur gonna keep working with bi0crust#and ur like uhhhh no fuck that actually the work ive done in the past 4 years makes me hate myself✌️#so we r back at square 1. well not 1 bc its sorta related but its a pretty big reset#itll b fine once things start. its just thr anticipation that kills me#unrelated
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meliciousmel13 · 3 months ago
Text
➛ munch
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paring: overworked!billie x wife!reader
warnings: literally just filthy smut with a little plot, riding, eating out, kind of pathetic billie(?) just at the beginning though, mirror sex, billie calls r good girl, strap-on sex, kind of proofread
wc: 2,433
SYNOPSIS: billie won’t stop working, you want to go out but she won’t leave the studio. you had an idea of what to do.
taglist: @chrissv4mp, @billiesguitar, @ilovebillieeilish2000, @d14n4ol, @raspberrymacaroon if your not a part of this list but want to be comment under my tag list post, which is on my masterlist.
an: here's another fic since last week i didn't post anything.
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she was always in the studio. always. whether it was 3 am or 4 in the morning. you never got to see her besides when she got out the room to get water, or take a 5 minute break (which was apparently enough time for the whole week).
you never saw her. you understood. she had to work on her new album. it was just work. but the amount of times your slept in a cold bed was getting tiring, and kind of depressing, considering you barely saw your wife, when she was your wife.
“billie?” your soft voice echoed through out the home studio, billie didn’t notice you with her headphones on, “bills” you repeated her name, slowly entering the studio and standing behind her, she finally noticed.
billie removed her headphones and looked behind her, a tired smile finding it’s way on her face, “hey baby.” she said, while looking up, and taking your hips in her hands. you were wearing a silk satin robe, which was driving her insane.
“hi.” you smiled as billie kissed your stomach, “i wanted to surprise you.” you said, enjoying her hands on you, she hasn’t touched you in three weeks, and you were getting desperate.
“wanted to surprise me?” she smiled, for the first time in weeks, she almost forgot how happy you made her, almost forgot about you.
“yeah,” you smirk, untying you robe and seeing billie’s eyes widen. you were wearing almost nothing underneath, just lacy underwear.
“so it’s that kind of surprise?” she chuckled, trying to act like seeing you half naked in her studio didn’t affect her.
you hum, removing her hands on your hips getting in front of her and sitting on her desk, spreading your legs, “you can’t touch me though,” you said, tilting your head to the side, which made your untied hair go that way.
billie thought about her album, the amount of work she had to do was piling up each day. but she couldn’t deny you, she never could and never will, “you tryna’ tease me?” she placed her hand on your upper thigh, but you pushed it off.
“maybe.” you smile, innocently, like you weren’t dripping on her desk, “you’ve been working a lot.” you said, nonchalantly, while billie was imagining the way she could take you, “do you also sleep here?” you asked, curious.
“no— i sleep in our bed i just leave before you wake up.” she said, it made much more sense. why you woke up with a pillow next to you every time you woke up, and why her side of the bed was messy.
“how long do you sleep for?” you asked, again.
“six hours…” billie trailed off, couldn’t even look at your face, not like she was looking at it in the first place.
“don’t lie to me billie.” you threatened, closing your thighs, and getting off her desk.
“okay! okay, i sleep for three hours.” billie said, slightly scared of what you might do. you weren’t scared to make her sleep on the couch the last time she even remotely did anything wrong.
“three hours?” you said in disbelief, you knew her sleep schedule sucked, but it was getting borderline unhealthy and insane, “you sleep for three fucking hours? are you serious?” you said.
“no i sleep for two.”
“billie!”
“i’m joking!”
“don’t joke about that, god.” you sighed, with your head in your hands.
billie felt bad. didn’t know how much her not being there affected you, “i’ll take a ten minute break then.” you looked up, mischievously, this was exactly what you wanted.
“fifteen.”
“ten.” she argued.
“twenty.”
“fifteen.”
“an hour.” you smiled.
“fine,” billie caved, laying back on her seat, and looking up at you, “your so lucky your adorable.” she said, and you hummed, sitting back on her desk, scooting to the very edge of it, and billie immediately sat up, like she was trained to do it.
“god, you’re so fucking gorgeous,” she breathed, almost absentmindedly, your belly burned a little, but not from that fiery pit that had been present earlier. this was desire. you felt desired.
“bills,” you whimpered as she lifted one of your legs to kiss along your thigh. she focused all her attention on the one thigh, running her hands and lips over the soft skin.
“jesus christ,” she whispered, watching your skin dimple under her fingers. she squeezed it harder, her lips climbing up your thigh. she brought one hand to your other thigh because she knew she wouldn’t be able to give it the proper attention it deserved before she got hungry and dove right in. the faint smell was already driving her wild.
you whimpered again when she got to her destination. you could feel her heavy breath against your underwear. she looked up at you pleadingly, her pupils drowning out her bright blue irises.
“can i take them off?” she asked, running her thumb over the lacy waistband. you shuddered and nodded, unable to make out any real words. she bit her lip and took your underwear off, throwing the white lace behind her.
“holy shit,” she sighed, eyes locked on your wet pussy. “i wanna eat it so fucking bad, baby. please,” she pleaded, her voice cracking in desire. you looked down at her, watching her throat bob as she swallowed thickly. like she was genuinely drooling.
you didn’t feel pressure to say yes, but you felt it would be cruel to say no. billie wanted it so bad.
“yes.”
billie gasped, her warm breath fanning over your folds. she licked her lips. “slowly, please,” you said, your words shaky. she nodded and looked up at you briefly in confirmation.
she looked back down and used her thumb to spread you apart before her tongue dove in. you moaned loudly at the contact, watching her lap up every crevice with fervor. her nose bumped your clit, and her mouth opened eagerly, exploring your pussy with her skilled tongue. she dipped it into your entrance, groaning at the taste that flooded her. the vibrations set you into a fit of complete pleasure, so she continued humming softly as she ate you out.
she devoured you like a woman starved, lapped and groaned as if she hadn’t eaten in days and you were a desert oasis. her hands gripped your hips, pulling your pussy as close as possible to her mouth. like this was a privilege she’d never again be able to afford.
you built up to your high quickly, thighs clenching tightly around her head. “b-billie, i’m gonna—”
you whined when she pulled away, looking down at her in betrayal. her face was coated in you from the nose down. she only licked her lips, not bothering to wipe the rest of it off.
“not yet,” she said lowly. she managed to look away from your pussy, despite how much she just wanted to dive in and stay there the rest of the night. “i’m gonna go get the strap, alright?”
your eyes widened and you nodded, unable to formulate words. you hadn’t been able to feel the strap for months now, your rare and short meetings with her between shows, and business meetings were short lived, only able to kiss for barely a minute before someone barged in.
she pressed a kiss to your knee and got up, a bright smile on her face that didn’t match how much she was about to wreck you. she disappeared into the studio’s door, probably rummaging frantically in the closet and box where all the toys were. you closed your eyes, trying not to touch yourself at the thought of her.
“fuck, you’re so beautiful,” billie breathed from above you. you opened your eyes, crossing them when you saw the dildo fastened to billie’s hips. you leaned down and pressed a kiss to the plastic tip, making billie gasp.
“you wanna suck it?” she asked. you just nodded eagerly and opened your mouth. you wanted to feel it in every way possible after being away from her so long. she held it by the base and fed it to you, your lips wrapping around the plastic.
“good girl,” she praised, watching intently as you took whatever you could into your mouth, which wasn’t much, “you can take more can’t you angel?” she said, gripping the back of your head and making you gag against the dildo, “breathe from your nose, don’t— don’t panic baby.” she said.
you felt yourself leak onto the desk as she praised you, you sucked it a little longer, until the desire was too much and you pulled away, panting. she was panting as well, having thoroughly enjoyed the show you just put on for her.
“you wanna ride me?” she asked, knowing what your answer would be.
you nodded eagerly, practically drenched at the idea. “alright, baby,” she said, grabbing your waist and moving you aside for a second. she laid back on her chair, breathing heavily, the dildo jutting out from her hips standing tall.
she pulled you into her lap and looked up at you, naked, and needy, she pinched your nipples, making you gasp. “sit on it,” she commanded, her voice dark. it took you a moment to realize what she meant, your mind hazy, but you lifted your hips and centered yourself above the dildo. you let the tip prod your entrance before lowering your hips, moaning as you sunk down on it. you lowered them slowly, feeling yourself being stretched out.
“good fucking girl.” billie groaned. her movements on your nipples stopped, distracted by the sight of you taking her. she put her hands down on your thighs instead, squeezing as you slowly took more of her inside.
“bill— billie,” you moaned, bracing yourself on her clothed chest. you finally took all of her, squeaking in pleasure when she slapped your ass gently.
“fuckin’ look at yourself, messy on my lap. and who was trying to act bossy a few minutes ago hm?” she said, as if she hadn’t begged to eat you out.
you looked at the mirror behind her, she positioned you where you could see yourself on it, “see how— see how fuckin’ pretty you look.” she breathed as you started moving your hips up and down, slowly. “say it. tell me you’re pretty.”
you looked down at her and she slapped your ass, making you yelp. “i-i’m pretty!” she nodded her head in satisfaction. “that’s right. watch yourself.” you kept watching yourself, riding her cock faster as the pleasure of it increased. she thumbed your clit, rubbing it as she kept praising you under her breath. you rode her until your thighs burned with the exertion.
“you’re gorgeous,” she said as she started thrusting her hips upwards, helping you ride her. she looked down, watching the dildo go in and out of you. “your pussy too. so perfect.”
you bit your lip, stifling a moan. watching yourself riding her like that was embarrassing, but you didn’t wanna disappoint billie. and, truthfully, it turned you on.
you rolled your hips, and billie was halfway down the chair, practically sliding off of it, she was laid back, with her hands behind her head looking down to see her dick sliding in and out of you.
“getting tired angel? didn’t even do anythin’ yet. you don’t appreciate my efforts.” she said sitting up and holding you from under your thighs, sitting up from her chair. you yelped, wrapping your arms around her neck and not wanting to fall on the cold floor. billie would never drop you though, even though she teased it.
she didn’t pull out yet, just walked to your shared bedroom, still inside you, “billie.” you whimper, grinding softly on her.
“impatient too.” she mumbled putting you down on the bed, “can’t help it,” you gasp as she turned you around, positioning you so you could see yourself in the bedroom mirror.
“wanna’ fuck you from the back,” she mumbled, and took your hips, dragged you closer to her pelvis and you could feel the tip of her cock to your entrance, “you want this angel?” she asked, and you had your head laid down on the bed, nodding, “we can’t have that.” she took you by the hair gently and guided you so you could see.
“see? you can still see me, just in the mirror, kay’?” she smiled, and you bit your lip, as she took the dildo and prodded it at your entrance, sliding it in and filling you up, once she saw that you were still biting your lip, she took her left hand and put her index, and middle finger in your mouth, “fuckin’ look at yourself.” she groaned, you did, you saw the way your brows furrowed and the spit going down your chin, with billie’s fingers in your mouth.
“you like it? you like getting fucked like a good girl?” she asked in-between pants. your face told her all she needed to know, flushed and scrunched up from the pleasure.
your moans got more intense in volume, and she continued her exact pace, wanting to make you cum soon. “you gonna cum, baby?”
you nodded as best you could with her hand still in your hair, crying out her name. she held her pace, starting to sweat from exertion before she could tell you were incredibly close from the way your legs shook.
“come for me. come on my dick.”
you practically screamed, immediately obeying her. your eyes closed tightly, clenching around her dick as she slowed down her pace to let you ride it out. you swore you had seen a glimpse of heaven, your orgasm feeling like it lasted for centuries. finally, though, you collapsed on the bed, completely spent and breathing heavily.
she kept herself inside you as you recovered, waiting to be told what to do. “pull out, please,” you said after a moment. she pulled out slowly, holding your waist with one arm as she used her free hand to take the strap off.
when it was off, she brought you closer, keeping you against her chest as you cuddled up to her. she ran her calloused fingertips over your shoulders and your back, soothing you. your mind felt clear enough after a couple minutes, not feeling so tired anymore.
“this would’ve happened sooner if you weren’t so busy.”
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skyahri · 10 months ago
Text
One Bed |Naruto Men X Reader| HC
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Characters: Sasuke Uchiha, Kakashi Hatake, and Shikamaru Nara.
Summary: Classic one bed trope.
Warnings: Kissing. Bed sharing. Lead up to smut but no smut.
Masterlist Ko-fi
- - - - -
Sasuke Uchiha
It was shortly after the war.
The village was still recuperating from the loss, as was every other village, but there were still missions that needed to be fulfilled.
You were off to do some security work for the Daimyo, who had specifically requested the two of you to watch over his land while they rebuilt.
The only issue was that upon arrival, it wss revealed you'd be sharing a single room.
"You aren't the only ones to have suffered during the battle. Half of my property was destroyed!"
There wasn't much you could do, so you bit the bullet and followed one of the Ladies in Waiting to where you'll be staying.
One room? Whatever. One bed? Absolutely not.
You protested. It was inappropriate, even if you had known Sasuke for well over a decade at this point.
"We are low on resources at the moment, Y/L/N-san, Uchiha-san. It's why we have asked for your assistance in the first place."
You looked at Sasuke, who just gave you the same bored expression he always has.
You thanked the woman and began getting settled in your room. Sasuke offered to sleep on the floor, which you told him not to bother with.
You'd likely be here a few weeks, so it'd be best if you were both comfortable.
Sasuke was nice enough to let you shower first, which you'd gladly taken after two days' worth of travel.
He waited patiently for you to finish so he could prepare for bed as well. It was late, almost midnight, and he was tired.
It was awkward the first night. You'd slept uncomfortably back to back with this weird air around you.
You'd put on your most conservative pair of pajamas despite how warm the room was, and that only made things worse.
The second night wasn't much better.
But by the third night, you both grew tired of the tension. It was difficult to be fully rested when you'd slept terribly, so you formed some kind of unspoken, mutual respect for now.
You'd opted for your normal nighttime attire - a pair of shorts and thin t-shirt. You already felt better.
Sasuke, on the other hand, had been grateful for your prudish clothing. He had never said anything before, not that he had the time to, but he'd always been attracted to you.
Your revealing pajamas were not helping his comfort, so while you slept better that night, he did not.
Nor the next night.
Or the night after that.
By then, you'd become very aware of his antics. On top of being physically aware that he wasn't sleeping, you'd also become annoyed by his poor attitude.
He was already an ass as is, you really didn't need him sleep deprived on top of it.
So that night, as you lay in bed next to him, you roll onto your stomach and prop yourself up on your elbows to look at him.
"What's your problem?"
"I don't have a problem."
"Really? Could've fooled me."
He tsked at you. Why'd you have to be so annoying?
You pushed yourself up so you'd be sitting on your knees, your hands flat on the bed so you could still lean forward to talk to him.
His eyes darted down to your chest before looking away entirely.
No way. There was absolutely no way.
"Are you... bothered by my clothes?"
"Don't be stupid." He snapped.
You tried to suppress a knowing smirk but failed.
So you leaned forward and kissed him.
Despite his surprise, he immediately responded to your kiss, going so far as to roll you over onto your back so he'd be on top of you.
"Maybe I am a bit bothered."
Kakashi Hatake
This is Kakashi’s first Kage Summit, and he asked you to be his plus one.
You accepted with no hesitation. You were anxious to get out of the village since the war ended and going out with Kakashi was sure to make it all the more interesting.
The summit was boring. That's a good thing compared to the last summit, but it still made you want to gouge your eyes out. They discussed the status of their villages and what sort of issues they'd been running into, blah blah blah.
When it was nearing midnight and everyone was growing tired, they agreed to call it a night and resume in the morning.
Everyone went to their respective quarters, but when you got to the Leaf Village's wing, there was only a single room with a bed.
Apparently, during the rebuild, they'd slipped up and only added a single room instead of the usual two, and no one had noticed (Thanks Sasuke).
It wasn't too big of a deal. You'd known Kakashi since your Genin days and slept in the same room plenty of times.
You were a bit surprised when he actually got into bed with you though.
Despite all those sleepovers, this was the first time you'd actually slept so close together.
You stared at him. Not on purpose, just happened to be doing so while your mind was racing.
"Is this an issue? I can sleep on the floor."
You shook your head.
"You sure? You were giving me quite the look."
"I was just... wondering what you'd look like under the mask."
You lied. You couldn't tell him how you were thinking about sleeping in bed with him and it's implications.
He snorted and did something that completely caught you off guard.
He pulled down his mask.
You blushed. How could you not? All these years, and he chooses now, the most random moment, to finally reveal such a wel kept secret.
And then he does something else that yo weren't expecting.
He leans forward and kisses you. You kiss back. He pulls away after a minute.
"I've been waiting to do that since we were teenagers."
You laugh at him, then pull him in for another kiss.
Shikamaru Nara
Shikamaru, being the lazy man he is, put off booking a room to stay in for so long that there was only a single room left st the inn.
You'd scolded him, and he took it, knowing he should've done it when he'd gotten the mission report.
The room was on the smaller side and contained only a single bed and dresser.
Neither of you were interested in sleeping on the floor for the next week, so you agreed to share the bed.
Something you wouldn't have done if you'd known Shikamaru was such a... uncharacteristically chaotic sleeper.
Seriously, he moved around more at night than he did during the entire day. Maybe it's all the pent up energy.
Within an hour of him knocking out, he was already sprawled out across most of the bed, leaving you two options: sleep on the edge or lay on him.
You tried to sleep in the bit of space he hadn't taken, really, but it seemed he was basically drawn to you.
You caved, allowing whatever was going to happen to happen, too tired to fight it any longer.
When Shikamaru eventually woke up, you were on his chest, one arm thrown over him and peacefully sleeping.
He got flustered and quickly tried to get out from under you, waking you in the process.
He was able to dart away without much suspension. Or at least he thought.
The next night was the same, minus the internal battle you'd had prior.
When Shikamaru woke up to the same dilemma, he decided it was best to fall asleep after you.
That night, he'd stayed awake under the guise of a mission report update for the Hokage.
You'd simply shrugged and gone to bed.
He followed when he was sure you were asleep, making sure each of you were on your respective sides of the bed.
He was surprised when he woke up with him on top you, head on your chest as if it was the most casual thing to happen.
He'd begin to stammer about, but stopped when you'd groaned.
"Settle down, would you?"
"I was just-"
"It's not that big of a deal, Shika, just go to sleep."
He listened to you, despite not understanding what was actually going on.
In the morning, he attempted to talk to you about it, but the conversation didn't quite go as planned.
"Yeah, you're a cuddler. Not much I can do about it, so it's whatever."
From then on, it slowly became more natural for your nights to get more personal, even once you'd gotten home.
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