#also holy shit fix the roof

[figmentera]

I replied a couple of times but actually I need to go over this in detail because there's about eight separate issues here.

First: the practical, financial concerns. Sounds like time for a serious discussion with O about how long he expects the rest of you to subsidize E's residence here, given that he's not looking for a job. Acceptable answers here include: there's a deadline by which point E needs to be contributing fully again, O takes on covering E's expenses bc he's willing to support E, you just start refusing to pay more than you were before E lost his job, E pays the project fund to the house.

Practical issue: you do not have a safe and private place to be away from E, who you do not like. Maybe you should switch rooms with E, so you have a private space again, E can keep spending all his time in O's room without bothering you, and also if someone doesn't get a full room until money for repairs is raised it should be the person not fully contributing? Just a thought

Relational/spiritual issues: this is where O really starts getting the side-eye from me. E doesn't need to feel respect in his heart for your practice but he does need to not make condescending remarks. This should just be a boundary of living in any space. Really O should be handling this but you can and should just calmly say you will not listen to him disparage your faith and leave the room or something. "The way you're speaking to me is unacceptable" needs to be a constant refrain about this. He can hold whatever opinions he likes and the goal should not be changing those it should be telling him he can't act that way

Relational differences: I don't think the history or present of E and O's relationship should come into any of this. You and E don't like each other. Be more absent from their relationship rather than up in its details. Be elsewhere (bonus points if you can get a room back). Keep not having sex with them.

But maybe do have a conversation where you bring up the possible cheating? Some sort of quiet, "hey O are you aware that E and B appear to be hooking up while you're out of the house? Just thought you should know". That's not... ammunition you can use against E, that's facts O should know about this relationship.

Block A. Her terfy ass should be as out of your life as possible. Boom, done, no longer worried about her gossip about you.

But on a larger scale: are these really all the issues? It seems like most of these are about O not fairly enforcing house rules and inconveniencing everyone else because of his bias toward E. I don't personally think all the problems would be solved if E disappeared — you'd still be living in a falling-apart house with someone who enforces rules at his own whims. The reason people in the comments are calling this a cult is bc O has too much power and isn't using it fairly. Is this really where you want to be?

WIBTA if I asked my boyfriend to kick his boyfriend out of our communal living situation and out of our polycule due to “incompatibility”?

submitted 5/22/2024 ~💔🌈🏚️<- to find

I (26F) am considering asking my boyfriend O (32M) to kick out his other partner/boyfriend E (36M) from our communal living situation and our polycule, because E is not compatible with either our relationship or the group as a whole. Here’s the situation: The three of us currently live in O’s childhood home (his parents died and he inherited it), along with four other roommates who are not in the polycule. All of us split the bills evenly, except for E because he was recently fired from his job as a mechanic, so he pays a much smaller amount, which means all of us have to increase the amount we pay in order to keep up. This would be fine except E is not looking for a job and this is causing financial strain on all of us. It’s a large house and it’s very old so it tends to need a lot of maintenance, currently we have to get the roof repaired because a section of it caved in during a snowstorm (that part of the house is roped off because it’s still not fixed of course) and just my luck, my room happened to be on the floor below this, so O has me sleeping in his room because he’s worried floor above my room may have rotted from exposure due to the caved in roof. This will be relevant later. Now, here are the specific reasons why I want E out of here (aside from financial strain):

Everyone in the house is part of the same religious group. We are a neo pagan group (details not necessary for this but feel free to ask questions, but just know that we have some agreed upon beliefs and practices that we’ve developed over the past three years) and many in our group, including O, practice witchcraft. E, however, is a hardcore atheist, and is condescending towards us whenever we partake in our various practices. O thinks that E can be persuaded to respect us and that it’s just a matter of time, but I do not think that’s probable. O is the elected spiritual leader in the house (one: because he’s held these beliefs longer than most of us and brought us together, and two: it’s his house), so only O can kick someone out for religious reasons. We can vote to kick someone for abuse, but nothing E has done is technically bad enough.

He should be kicked from the polycule because I think he is using O either for sex or to make up for something he did back when they were in a situationship. The past between those two is very intense because it’s linked to E discovering his identity and it was O’s first relationship. It ended very badly on horrible terms, but they decided to give it another shot for whatever reason. E had an intense vendetta against me from the very beginning and he thinks that I’m delusional for believing O is in love with me because when O liked E it was “very different”. E has his own bedroom, but spends most of the time in O’s room, typically to have sex. Sometimes they want me to join in with them, but I usually decline because I’m suspicious of E’s intentions and I do not trust him. The one time I did agree to join in led to my unplanned pregnancy. I also think E is cheating on O because whenever O leaves the house, E brings over his ex B (33F), and those two hook up (or at least I assume they do because they lock themselves in the bedroom for hours).

On the cheating note, E has been getting checks in the mail from B, but he hasn’t been using this money to contribute to the bills, but rather stashing it away into a “project fund”.

B is dating my ex A (28F) and I know B has been gossiping to her because A has been posting to her private insta account long rants about “another perfectly good lesbian turned by dicks and witchcraft”, which could ONLY be referring to me because as far as I know, she hasn’t had any relationships in between ours and her’s and B’s. She is radfem and tradcatholic so the statement isn’t a surprise, but she only started posting that stuff After B started coming over, and she was kicked from the house for being intolerant, so it’s odd for her to start ranting about me now.

I think it’s unfair that my ex was kicked out for intolerance while I was still dating her, even though I objected (it was a toxic relationship and I was in deep), but O hasn’t kicked out E despite E also being intolerant and dating one of us.

[myfaveisfuckable]

Shang Qinghua:

The guy's a head of logictics in a magic kung fu school in fantasy ancient China. Like his department is basically the normalest guys on the whole mountain. Also in the world where important characters' appearances range from 11/10 to 20/10 hes like a solid 7.

And no one knows he is the literal creator of the world they live in. As in, he's a writer who was reincarnated with memories into the world of his own novel. Like, ppl come to him if they need a roof one of their superpowered teenagers broke fixed and he looks at them and knows their entire life with all of the secrets and traumas they hide, ya feel?

And in addition to that, he's also, in this world, a spy for the demons and a trusted advisor to one demon lord. And eventually they get together. So like imagine if your school's head accountant showed up one day with a huge demon on his arm like Hiiiiiii this is my new bf one of the kings of Hell. And that's Shang Qinghua.

Dokja:

Introduced as a bland everyman only made exceptional by circumstance, slowly revealed to be the most batshit, suicidally depressed, bisexual maniac in existence. Uses self-sacrifice like a tool and is completely unaware of how beloved he is by the people he keeps pulling into his fold because he is so deeply and utterly convinced that he is fundamentally unlovable. He's like sixty foundational traumas stacked in a trench coat and he's always sixty steps ahead of everyone else and he loves the people he chooses so so dearly and people keep calling him ugly even though he's canonically pretty average and holy shit dude get some therapy please

[sandyseagullsip]

Universe thingy (title in progress i guess)

Hi lol.

Part 2

CW: gunfire: you know, regular cod stuff

Indulge me; imagine this.

You had finally gotten home from a long day of work. Bitchy coworkers, upset clients, stupid issues that should've been fixed already, --- needless to say, you were stressed out. What better way to wind down than playing one of your favorite games, hm?

You boot up your console, searching through your game library in hopes of finding something that could distract you. Eventually, you decide on the Call of Duty Modern Warfare games (the new ones). The campaign is good, the characters are great, it should get you out of the frazzled, careworn mindset you've been in all day.

Oh. Boy, were you wrong.

You select your game, and your vision goes white. Your first thought was, 'did this job finally give me an aneurysm?' Your hearing had disappeared too, yet it was the first sense to come back.

Gunfire.

When you could finally see, you were no longer on your sofa wallowing in sorrow; you were in a fucking warzone. Not that you were prepared for this clothing wise, in your hoodie and sweatpants.

The only thing you manage to get out is,

"Holy fucking SHIT-!"

And you start running. And running. It's dark, but you keep going. And the first shelter you see is a downed helicopter.

You're about to go in when you hear a voice you know: "Get your gun on that tree line."

Ghost. One of your favorite characters. But now you know you shouldn't attempt to enter. On the other hand, you need to. You'll wind up shot if you don't. So, you slowly start to get in. (ha, you thought they wouldn't notice?)

And now three guns are aimed at you: an Alpha soldier, Ghost, and Soap. You know this mission like the back of your hand. You could help them. But your fight or flight turned instead to freeze, both hands up to signal that you were no harm to them.

"A fuckin' civilian?" Ghost mumbled, followed by Soap's "Steamin' Jesus..."

"Th' fuck are you doing here?" Ghost questions, staring you down, still aiming his gun at you.

"I don't-- I don't know?" You manage to get out. This big man with a skull mask and his buff Scottish friend are both aiming guns at you. Sure, they are the good guys, but they still will probably shoot you.

"I can help you!" You yell out quickly. Jesus Christ, why did I-

"Shut up." Soap loudly whispers at you. "But how cannae y' help us? Why should we trust you?"

"I know what happens. Trust me."

They both look at each other, confused and slightly angered.

"Better no' be a fuckin' spy, or I'll shoo' you myself." Ghost mumbles, grabbing you by the wrists.

"We cannae jus-"

"Might give us a shot a' Hassan."

Ghost gestures for you to stay down, as he aims his gun out the helicopter window. And lucky (not really) you, there's a gun on the floor! As the AQ fighters pour in you decide to test your luck with a gun.

Long story short,

You were just a simple retail worker, how were you supposed to know how harshly the gun would recoil? You also got a souvenir from the ordeal (you got shot in the arm).

The men did not like your pain tolerance (may have complained too many times), but you got through it all, even the snipers on the roof.

But as you approached that area and told them there would be snipers, they didn't believe you. You can't tell them they're in a video game you've played too many times to even count, so 'trust me' is the only thing you can say.

This earned you looks from the entirety of the Bravo team, which made you realize that, shit, you probably will be interrogated later.

Eventually, you made it to the warehouse. Soap walked up next to you, looking down at you.

"Now whats in this one?" He asked sarcastically. This might be something he should find out on his own, you thought. But you said it anyway. Shit.

"Enemies. and uh- anamericanmissile." You say quickly hoping he doesn't notice. But this causes him to go into the warehouse faster than you could think.

Once all the enemies were KIA, you brought them to the missile container. He presses a button causing the team to see the launcher and the American flag on the side.

"We found a weapons cache. Hassan's got missiles... they're American." Ghost said into his radio. "And you," He points, "I've got someone who's gonna have a bloody lovely talk with you later."

Ghost handcuffs your wrists, handing you off to have Soap bring you to exfil.

Shit.

-------

AAAAA

[teecupangel]

Desmond when he's dying: This would've never happened if I was just a pigeon.

Desmond: *Becomes a pigeon in the next life*

Introducing Desmond the Assassins suspiciously long-living pigeon.

(I love this for the sole purpose that turning Desmond into an eagle would have been the most obvious choice but you, nonny, deliberately turned him into a pigeon which is hilarious. Alright, let’s make Desmond’s pigeon life super weird)

=================================

When Desmond woke up as a freaking pigeon, he was annoyed at himself. If he knew he could have been anything, he would have picked an eagle or even a freaking cat.

But nooooo. He just had to think he wanted to be a pigeon of all things.

Goddamn it.

Well, no use bemoaning his own cursed life.

He should get high up and see where the hell he was because this open sky was definitely not the Grand Temple.

…

…

…

Soooooo… how was he supposed to fly?

Just… flap his wings?

Flap

Flap

Flap

Fuck.

It wasn’t working.

Okay.

Maybe he just needed… momentum. Yeah, momentum might help?

So Desmond took a few step-

Sigh.

Desmond took a few hops back before running straight ahead into the edge of the roof where he had woken up on, flapping his wings the entire time and…

Yes! He was flying.

Holy shit, he was flying.

Wait.

Nope.

He was gliding.

He was fucking gliding and he was going down fast.

Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohf-

Slam.

Feathers flew everywhere as he smacked straight to a wall.

As if that wasn’t humiliating enough, he began to skid down, falling into the grassy ground with a pathetic thud.

A shadow appeared over him but he didn’t move.

He could feel one of his wings was now broken.

But more importantly, he was too embarrassed by that pathetic attempt at flying that he’d rather lie down on the ground for a while and contemplate just letting this bird life die out here.

“Are you dead, little one?” A voice that cracked at random asked and Desmond kept his eyes closed in total defeat.

He would like to say ‘yeah, pretty much’ and also 'uh, rude?' but it only came out as a sad cooing sound.

“It’s alright.” He felt hands grab him a bit too roughly, making him let out a pathetic cooing sound once more and the hands lessened their grip. He was cradled into someone’s arms and he was bounced lightly as the person carrying him began to run.

When he finally opened his eyes once more, he blinked when he recognized the gates ahead of them.

The front gates of Masyaf…

He was in Masyaf…

And it wasn’t the Masyaf that he had been in pictures after he heard from Shaun that Masyaf was under Abstergo’s control.

No.

This was the Masyaf he was familiar with.

This was-

“Altaïr.”

The teenager holding him stopped running and held him close as a…

Holy shit.

Was that Al Mualim?

He looked…

Young… ish.

“We had been worried. You shouldn’t leave the training ring without being dismissed.” Al Mualim said in a kind fatherly voice that made Desmond immediately want to peck him.

“I’m sorry, master. It’s just…” The teenager (holy shit, it was Altaïr. Not only that… it was Altaïr with a cracking voice! Desmond couldn’t stop himself from finding this amusing) raised his arms slightly to show Desmond who tried to glare at Al Mualim as a pigeon, “This little one broke its wing when it was trying to fly. I figured the healers might be able to do something about it.”

Al Mualim stared at Desmond for a moment before his eyes softened, “Very well. You’re dismissed today, Altaïr. Have the healers check the pigeon but…”

Al Mualim placed a hand on Altaïr’s shoulder and said, “Do not get your hopes up. Sometimes, it is impossible to fix a thing that is too broken already.”

Altaïr’s hold on Desmond tightened just a bit as he said quietly, “I understand, master.”

Desmond let out a cooing “yeah, fuck you too, asshole” that Al Mualim didn’t respond to, which made sense, since Desmond was now a fucking pigeon.

Ugh.

He just knew this new life of his was going to be a pain.

=================================

(More of an idea summary)

=================================

Altaïr

Desmond spends most of pre-AC1 getting treated for his broken wing and trying to learn how to fly afterward. The recruits and novices like him because he doesn’t act like a normal bird and likes to screech whenever Altaïr tries to leave him (in his defense, he was a grounded bird in a place that likes to find ‘alternative’ uses for stuff they can’t use and he can only think of one way to use a flightless bird who can’t even deliver messages).

He likes sitting on Altaïr’s shoulder. Whenever Abbas is nearby and being annoyed, he uses his minimal ‘flying’ skills to reach Abbas and peck him until he falls (Altaïr is always there to catch him). Because of this, Desmond got a hang of gliding and swooping (the falling is, unfortunately, still his greatest nemesis).

Abbas once threatened to cook Desmond and he almost got his eye pecked out because of it. (then received a very descriptive morbid detail of what Altaïr plans to do to him if he ever just as much try to pluck any of Desmond's feather)

Desmond will not, under any circumstances, eat worms. Kadar is the one who finds out Desmond likes fruits. Altaïr says Desmond is getting fat from all the fruits Kadar is giving him but Desmond pecks him. After that, Altaïr just gives Desmond a disappointed glare every time he sees Desmond eating the fruits Kadar brings him (who likes seeing him eat because Desmond makes this little sweet cooing sounds when he eats).

Malik secretly gives a bit of his own food whenever Altaïr is away because Desmond likes staying with him whenever Altaïr is busy. Malik never tells Altaïr about it and Desmond is a bird so it’s not like he can tattletale on him. However, Desmond’s soft spot for Malik makes Altaïr and Malik have a ‘nicer’ relationship… sorta.

Desmond finally learns to fly during Altaïr’s ‘punishment’. He saw Altaïr being chased by guards after killing one of the nines (maybe Garnier?) and he just… swoopes in to peck the guards to give Altaïr a chance to escape.

Maria is the one who actually asks outright why nobody is asking why this pigeon is still alive? Altaïr just says that it might be connected to the Apple of Eden because it does light up whenever Desmond touches it with his talons (Desmond doesn’t feel anything. It literally just lights up like a touch-activated lightbulb and Desmond is both disappointed and amused at the same time. He uses it to tell Altaïr he's been studying the Apple for too long and he needs to take a break.)

Darim likes giving him fruits too but he stops when Sef was born because he wants to be seen as a responsible big brother. Sef, on the other hand, loves Desmond and plays with him a lot. Desmond becomes an unofficial babysitter because everyone just agrees that the POE must have done something to his brain. That’s the only explanation they could think of as to why Desmond acts so intelligent. Desmond questions everyone's sanity for letting a bird babysit two children.

On the other hand, any time Desmond tries to actually communicate to someone by trying to write on the sand or that one incident where he tipped the ink bottle and used it to make some kind of ‘hand writing’, his words always end up gibberish and Desmond isn’t sure if ‘something’ is making him unable to write properly OR if there was some kind of human speech to bird language thing going on in his mind and that’s why he understands everyone but that shit doesn’t work when he’s trying to write his bird language. (Although, he can’t communicate with any other animals anyway)

Desmond stays with Sef when Altaïr and the other go to assassinate Genghis Khan. At this point, Desmond is a freaking master in bird stealth and manages to find incriminating documents that shows Abbas was planning a coup (Abbas and his cohorts got sloppy now that Altaïr was away). The coup was unsuccessful and Sef and Malik lived. (because fuck canon)

Desmond stays with the Ibn-La’Ahad bloodline (especially Sef’s bloodline) until something inside him suddenly calls to him, creating a golden thread-like mist that only he can see.

Having a feeling of where it was going to take him, Desmond only leaves after staying with his last ‘owner’ until her dying breath.

=================================

.

Ezio

When Desmond gets to Italia, Ezio has just been born.

He stays by the window and watches Ezio. The maids tried to shoo him away whenever they see him. Giovanni sees him at least twice but just thought he was a normal bird.

Ezio grew up seeing him as his guardian angel (“Your guardian angel is a pigeon?” “At least I can see mine!”) and that idea only solidified when he was a teenager who just learned pigeons are not supposed to live this long.

However, Desmond keeps his distance because he knows that people would find it weird (and maybe even the devil’s work) if Ezio has a pet pigeon who is still alive after all these years.

He does, however, always fly near Ezio whenever he used the rooftops and stays with him if they’re in a hiding spot or really high up.

This, inadvertently, helps Ezio be better at freerunning and climbing (and stealth) before that fateful day.

On that fateful day, Desmond leaves Ezio to warn the Auditores by squawking really loudly on the rooftop until Federico had enough and went up to see what has Ezio’s guardian angel all squawking up a storm when it was usually silent. Federico sees the guards coming towards the Palazzo and alerts his father because Desmond made a show of diving in and getting one of the wanted paper that they all had to identify the Auditores and giving it to Federico with a flapping motion that says “run, fucking run!!!”

The Auditores don’t get captured but they had to go into hiding instead. Giovanni tries to talk to his friend Uberto Alberti about this with the evidence but Desmond is not having any of that. Federico is stuck because he’s been ordered to protect his family but Ezio was still out in Firenze so Desmond goes to him and takes him to Giovanni.

Ezio gets there in time to see his father being cornered by guards and he and Desmond helps Giovanni get out.

Unfortunately, the only thing that shows that the Auditores were innocent was with Uberti and he had burned it in front of Giovanni for dramatic effect and because he isn’t stupid.

Left with no choice, the Auditore family leaves Firenze to seek shelter in Monteriggioni.

(Altaïr’s statue has a pigeon on his shoulder and Desmond tries to get Ezio to realize that he’s the pigeon by sitting next to his pigeon statue and mimicking the puffed-up pose. Ezio just chuckles and says “Yes, angelo mio, you are more beautiful than Altaïr’s pigeon”)

=================================

(Okay, that’s as far as I got. If anyone wants me to do a semi-summary/semi-fic continuation of the Kenway soap opera, Arno and the Frye twins, let me know XD)

=================================

(Unorganized ideas)

There is no eagle connection ala Layla Trilogy between Desmond and any of his ‘owners’. He's literally just a pigeon with a long lifespan.

Sef once pinched a feather from Desmond without his approval because he dropped the feather that the Rafiq gave him, Desmond pecked him in the ear the entire time they were back in the bureau and the Rafiq just looked at him with an expression of ‘Do you really think I don’t know the difference between a pigeon’s feather and an eagle’s feather? Bitch, I’ve been Rafiq longer than you’ve been alive.’ but only takes the feather silently while Sef grins at him. It took lots of fruits for Desmond to stop being angry at him (and Sef knew he fucked up because the moment they returned to Masyaf, Desmond sat on Darim’s shoulder with his back turned, making Darim go “What did you do now, Sef?” in that tired older brother tone that he has used so many times by now)

Petruccio absolutely believes Desmond is Ezio’s guardian angel. Claudia and Federico didn’t until Desmond helped them escape

[influencedxxx]

Idk if U have any or R still interested in class of 09 but if U R What's Ur Emily hcs? <33

okay theres this interesting one i was thinking about earlier. One where in my head, she wouldve fallen for/obsessed over Nicole in any route where she knew her. This occured to me when i saw a drawing of her where she had an N scar on her shoulder. Then i thought about the kylar roof route, the scene where emily asks nicole if she can put her hair up like hers in particular. And of course, theres the double suicide ending. My point is, any timeline where Emily knows about Nicole and who she is, she falls into a mild-severe fixation on her. Because Nicole is Emily's dream girl.

Sorry im high asf tbh.

Emicole propaganda aside, i also hc emily as a lesbian caught in comphet. She won't date a man if he cant provide her with something, she's a man user.

Also she has adhd, and that how she initially got hooked on adderall. Like she got diagnosed when she was 12 and everything spiralled from there. She needed more and more to feel what she wanted to feel, so she started dating guys who could give her what she wanted. This led to men being devalued in her mind as a means to an end, whereas girls were glorified and coveted. This is where i'll mention my main diagnosis for Emily, and that is Schizoaffective Disorder. towards the beginning of the double suicide route, she's taking her seroquel(a drug prescribed to treat symptoms of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia). But at one point early on, she flushes the rest of it with a mindset of freedom and rebellion, only to spiral from there. Her thoughts raced, her already somewhat extreme beliefs started seeming so real to her. She fixed her energy on Nicole, who she was falling hard for already. She idolized her, some part of her suicide was not only proving a point to ms. Ames, but proving to Nicole that she's devoted to her. The act carried some form of a bond in her mind, like it would intertwine their souls. 

Oh yeah also she like cinammoroll. Her fav color is sky blue, she hates bottle blondes (but also loves to hateFUCK them, shoutout kelly). And she's really gatekeepy about her interests too, particularly music wise. She'll call you a poser if you forget one too many lyrics.

<holy shit did i really write all thag?>

<this was NOT proofread>

[concussed-to-pieces]

Wolves At The Door; Part Ten

Fandom: Resident Evil [Village]

Pairing: Karl Heisenberg/AFAB!Reader

Rating: Holy shit M.

Summary: Heisenberg puffed out a breath, gazing off into the distance. His factory was out there in the rain, waiting. Waiting for his return.

A/N: Welcome all, welcome to our tenth installment! Nearly to the epilogue, have a little faith. Enjoy!

Tag List: @cookiethewriter @amneris21 @topgirl17 @vodkafolie @a-smol-witch @clockworkmidnight @calwitch @silver-quinn01 @velvet-paradox @hijackser @mrs-wolfwood @nonstop-haikyuu @mic-sunderland @somethingthatsaysbubbles @fullofmoonsandstars @stargazerofgoldenwords @imthegreenfairy86 @karlskitten @nitrogennightmare @chunnies @thirstworldproblemss @highly-unknown @tartimaar-bloggeth @thesmartbiscuit @spoopyredacted @crowtrobotx @kotall-ohh @doggydale @jackie-loves-yalls-writing @simplysolo @teeheemax

x. Prelude

1. Indebted

2. Blood On Your Hands

3. Brush With Death

4. Come To Bed

5. Smells Like Snow

6. Hot Iron

7. Turnover

8. Backslide

9. Tender Gray Light

[!TRIGGER WARNING!: This installment contains mentions of blood, canon-typical violence, gore, and graphic depictions of mental and physical duress. Stay safe!]

The rain was welcome to Karl, for it heralded the return of spring. However, it made for miserable walking. The former Lord forged doggedly onward despite the downpour, rainwater dripping from the wide brim of his hat.

The sky was still dark. He had no idea what time it was, whether early or late. It had been months since the time had mattered to him, the man all too willing to move through life at the pace of your choosing. But last night's events seemed to have ruined that.

Dinner had been silent, the two of you refusing to really engage with one another after…what had happened. Karl was irritated with himself and a bit irritated with you as well, if he was being honest. Granted, he knew he wasn't exactly emotionally mature, but gods almighty he had told you not to look at him! He had wanted to avoid this…weirdness, this strange feeling in his chest, and now he didn't know how the hell to fix it.

You eventually went to bed alone and he was still awake staring at the ceiling hours later when he had finally made his choice.

He knew what he had to do. To an extent, anyway. He cringed as he thought of how hard he had bitten you, so strong you ruin everything you touch. 

He couldn't do that again. He wouldn't do that again. He couldn't keep slipping up. These moments of weakness, of forgetting himself, cutting loose…it was irresponsible. Risky. Wrong. He needed to put himself to use, take himself out of the equation.

He needed to go to the source.

For his own sanity, whatever was left of it, but also…Karl shook his head, feeling stupid.

He started sprinting.

…

You woke after a poor night's sleep to the sound of rain. Specifically, to the sound of a drip, drip, drip. You groaned, pulling the quilt up over your head. You didn't want to patch another leak. 

“Karl,” you mumbled, flinging your arm out to the side. You met nothing but more sheets and blanket, and then you recalled what had happened the day before. Sitting bolt upright, you ignored the puddle on the floor in the corner as you called, “Karl?” Your fingers gripped the quilt in a stranglehold when there was no reply. “Karl?” 

You moved from the bed, more than a little stiff, and hurried to pull on your shoes. 

The living room was empty. The stove hadn't been recently stoked, the couch was cold when you touched it, and the blanket the two of you had…well. The blanket was folded and placed over the arm of the couch. 

In a daze, you moved to the kitchen and picked up the large pot, then returned to your room to place it under the leak. Fix the roof. You would need to get the ladder, patch, the patching fabric…when was the last time you had even used the patching sealant?

You felt your eyes begin to well up, but you roughly dashed the tears away. Don't think about it. Do the job.

It was pouring outside, the rain washing away the last of the snow downhill into the river and exposing the muddy grass of your yard once more. You huffed out a shaky breath as you did up your rain gear, the front snaps still fiddly even after all these years. 

The ladder was stored underneath the porch and still partially frozen to the ground. A few sharp kicks loosened it enough for you to yank it free. Your fingers were so cold already that by the time you realized you had somehow cut yourself on the cheap aluminum stepladder, you were halfway to the roof. Muttering several choice swears under your breath, you just ignored it and continued upwards. Leak was priority. You could handle that.

Once you found the leaking area on the steep roof, you propped yourself up with the ladder and got to work placing a patch. Load the putty knife with wet patch material, spread it evenly, carefully pat down a precut piece of fabric, and then smear the second layer of patch. 

It was so quiet. 

The only sound was the rain hammering on the hood of your rain suit. You felt like you could hear the absence of noise, but in reality you knew you were just imagining things.

There had been a time when you were thrilled with the quiet. When you wanted nothing more than this…deafening silence, just the susurrus of wind and the far-off calls of birds, entirely removed from human companionship. You had been content for years.

A few tears slid down your nose, landing on the fresh patch with a wet little splat. You sniffled, frustrated with yourself as you used the heel of your palm to scrub at your nose. 

The ladder suddenly tipped, one leg sinking deeper in the mud and throwing you off-balance. A frantic noise escaped you and then you were slipping, falling off the edge of the roof.

…

Some stupid asshole had put up a chain link fence around the entire valley, the whole length of it covered with ridiculous signs. 

KEEP OUT! This area under military surveillance. Trespassers will be shot. KEEP OUT! ENTER AT OWN RISK!

Karl scoffed, bouncing on the balls of his feet and then easily clearing the fence, landing silently on the other side. He felt a bit foolish for doing so once he straightened up; down the fence a ways was a section that had been peeled apart from the inside. Upon closer inspection Heisenberg found tufts of white, matted hair and crusty ichor coating the ragged edges of the torn fencing.

Lycans. Clearly they came and went regularly. Maybe the military presence was gone? 

After using his power to secure the fence again, Heisenberg turned on his heel, squinting through the rain as he moved forward to the edge of the small valley the village was nestled in. Or rather, it had been nestled in. 

The entire village looked like it had been sacked and burned. Massive tire tread marks were still frozen into the mud, criss-crossed this way and that. Some heavy equipment had been brought in to demolish the already-frail buildings, but over the tire marks were hoofprints, footprints, pawprints. 

So there were still lycans here. 

Heisenberg puffed out a breath, gazing off into the distance. His factory was out there in the rain, waiting. Waiting for his return. The former Lord shook his head, cautiously making his way down the slick road into the village proper. He had no idea whether the area was still under active surveillance (snipers specifically had him a little skittish), and the last thing he wanted was to be caught unawares.

The ground was littered with what seemed like hardened ash, chunks of it wafting into the air when it was disturbed by Karl's boots. With it came the scent of rot, of decay, and very, very faintly, the smell of mold. Heisenberg's nose twitched and he shook his head, as if to dismiss the familiar odor. They had burned Miranda's ‘god’, then. 

As they should have. 

He only vaguely recalled some towering thing briefly glimpsed through the back of the Duke's wagon, but if the tenacity of Winters was anything to go off of, he and that slinking, sneaky bastard Redfield had no doubt put the titanic growth and its root system dead to rights. 

Karl found his thoughts growing more and more distracted as he crossed the marshy land that bordered what once was Moreau's reservoir. Judging from the frozen mud puddles, the sluice gate had either failed or been victim to the same demolishing that the rest of the village had suffered. 

He ought to have been able to see his factory from where he stood, but to his muted dismay it also appeared to have been toppled. Not all that surprising when he actually thought about it, though. A majority of its structural integrity relied on (essentially) constant input from him. A comparably-small percentage of his power had been dedicated to keeping the factory upright. He had nearly forgotten about it, that's how much of an afterthought it was. Through his will alone the building had endured; he wondered dimly if it had collapsed when he had or if it had propped itself up until the militants crumpled it.

All that was left was to see whether the lower levels had survived. 

The real chore was locating an intact bulkhead, but even that wasn't such a struggle. The problem with said bulkhead, however, was the goddamn Morlock-esque conglomeration of prints around the half-ajar door, and while Karl didn't fancy himself much of an Eloi, he also wasn't enormously fond of getting swarmed in the depths by lycans or their pet vârcolaci.

He stood by the door for a long while. Long enough that he was fairly confident even the world's shittiest sniper would have taken his head off. The signs had just been scare tactics, or just remnants of the military force that had since moved on to more important things. This site was back in lycan hands, whatever was left of them. 

And he was about to delve into the belly of the beast.

Why? Why the hell am I doing this? Karl knew the answer to his own silent question but it had always been his nature to rail against the inevitable, the inexorable. 

Poor Heisenberg, so strong you ruin everything you touch.

The ladder rungs were slimy with mud, coating his palms liberally. Karl swore under his breath. He had forgotten how filthy everything was. Hard for mold to thrive if the environment was spotless, after all! You just kept your cabin so clean…it felt like a loss, somehow, to descend back into the grime and darkness, the fecund catacombs that housed his quarters and manufacturing operations. His mind wandered anew to his Haulers and Soldats. Were any of them still left? Or had they all fallen to Ethan's unquenchable fury?

Again, that grudging respect for Winters, warring with his faint annoyance at the man for entirely razing the place to the ground. Bit rude, really, but understandable. 

Through the inky blackness that closed over his head, Karl sent out a mental pulse on force of habit. Metal, all around him, gears and machinery, radios and televisions stirring at his proverbial touch. Once a fortress of science, now an uneasy, creaking tomb. His breath caught in his lungs. He had never felt so claustrophobic in his own damn factory. 

You didn't have any electronics in your cabin. He hadn't realized until just now. The total absence of buzzing screens and subaudible hum of current had been such a blessing, and he hadn't even noticed until it was thrust upon him once more.

There was some commotion at the base of the ladder still far below him, startling Karl out of the reverie he had fallen into. He gritted his teeth and stretched out a hand, using his power to search the factory for his enormous hammer. From his left came a crashing din in the distance, crumbling stone and shrieking metal heralding the flight of his monstrous weapon.

Heisenberg grinned with a bleak sort of humor, catching the haft of the hammer and then releasing his hold on the ladder. “Papa's home, you greasy freaks!” He roared, plummeting like a rock to the floor below.

I can use this stupid, dangerous strength to make their home safe again, cut the lycans off at the source. I can use it…I can use it to keep them safe.

…

Rain was pattering against your face. You spluttered, opening your eyes slightly and then quickly closing them again in a grimace as a fat raindrop slammed into your eyebrow.

Ugh. Your back hurt. 

You gingerly sat up and rotated your stiff neck, grateful that nothing seemed to have been dislocated. Your right leg was scraped badly through your rainsuit; you must have caught the ladder on the way down. At least you hadn't broken the leg! You could live with the deep abrasion and bruises, but if you had broken it–and with Karl missing…

‘Missing’? No, he left.

Tears closed your throat and you struggled to exhale, irritated by your immediate response to thinking about waking up alone. You were fine. You needed to get back inside and dry off.

Your head started to pound as you struggled upright, grabbing the side of the cabin to steady yourself. Your right knee throbbed anytime you so much as thought about it, so you did your best not to. 

Just get inside.

You hobbled forward, fumbling with the stairs of the porch until you finally managed to get up them backwards. You were now sweating from the effort, nauseous and dimly terrified. You had never felt quite so alone as you did at this moment, your nails digging into the boards of the porch as you dragged yourself to the door.

Just get inside. 

You collapsed inside the door, shoving it closed with your arm. Shaking fingers unbuttoned your rainsuit, and you carefully peeled it off. The right leg of the suit was ruined, but you might be able to salvage it. Numbly you continued to extract yourself from the suit, leaving it in a heap by the door. You then automatically limped to the kitchen, filled your kettle with water and placed it on the wood stove to boil. You would need clean water to take care of your wound, and unfortunately at the moment your largest pot was currently camped out in the corner of your bedroom. The kettle would have to suffice.

He couldn't look at you.

Don't think about it.

The bite mark he had left on your shoulder was still tender to the touch.

Don't think about it.

Your head ached and you squinted, trying to hold back more tears to no avail. They spilled down your cheeks after a brief struggle, causing you to huff out a shuddering breath and sink down on the couch. 

In a rare moment of weakness, you opened your mouth to voice an honest emotion. “I…” You swallowed thickly, feeling foolish for talking to an empty room. “I miss you, Karl. Please come back.”

But silence was all that you received in return.

…

The only noise that met his ears was a steady drip, drip, drip. The ground beneath his feet had finally gone still, no more writhing bodies or snapping jaws to break. 

It had been like a never-ending nightmare din ringing inside his skull. Squealing, snarling, biting, clawing, the baying for blood and his own voice shouting until he was hoarse. The abrupt silence was nearly bliss. Heisenberg mused on whether his eardrums had ruptured but, no, the dripping persisted. 

His arms and legs felt like lead. How long had he been down here? Days? Weeks? Karl sank to his knees after a moment, propping himself up with what was left of his hammer.

From overhead came a creaking groan, the remaining structure of the factory dangerously close to failing. Karl had laid waste to the floorplan as he eradicated the den, the hive, so it wasn't really a surprise. He had no idea where he even was in the factory anymore. Even with his improved eyesight there wasn't much to see, and less still to orient himself with. 

Had he gotten them all? 

Gods, the exhaustion that was speedily overtaking his body was almost impressive. Clearly he had stretched himself a little too thin. How much blood had he lost? Down in the darkness all he could see was that his hands were a deeper gray than his upper arms, blackened tendrils writhing upwards along just beneath his skin. That was to be expected, he'd been bitten more times than he could count. His entire left hand hung at an awkward angle from his wrist and with a grunt Karl reset the appendage. The pain was what stunned him, its lightning-flash freezing him in place. 

A huge piece of sheet metal hit the floor beside him, then another, and another. It seemed that even the lower levels were caving in on themselves, finally succumbing to the damage and his weakened state. Without warning a cinderblock slammed into his head, nearly flattening him before he caught himself. Karl snarled, mentally shoving upwards with all his power and hearing several more pieces of metal ricochet off of one another and bury themselves in the masonry. 

A wet cough suddenly rattled his chest and Karl wheezed for breath, trying to remember what the hell had happened during his prolonged struggle. Black fluid splattered onto his hand when he hacked out another cough, and Heisenberg realized that there was a deep wound in his chest. He hadn't even felt it, hadn't noticed. Wasn't really a point to plugging it either at this stage, what with the whole factory coming down on top of him. 

A sense of calm washed over him. It felt a bit like inevitability, and he just didn't have the strength to fight it any longer.

Karl slumped down by a retaining wall, the cold stone pressing comfortingly into his bare back. He tipped his head to rest it against the wall, squinting pointlessly upwards as more dust rained down. The framework beams had begun to collapse, finally yielding under the immense strain to careen to the ground below.

Heisenberg bowed his head, his palm covering the wound in his chest as an afterthought. He could feel the hitch of his own breath, the former Lord understanding in a cold, clinical manner exactly what the hell was happening to him. His lungs were in agony, burning, his chest felt like it was going to burst–

He heard the metal plummeting through the air right before it struck, an enormous, knife-like edge driving home in the meat of his shoulder and pinning him in place. Karl retched, his mind shying away from the brilliant stab of pain. Before he could draw another breath a huge beam crashed down on top of him, jamming his chin against his chest. His last conscious thoughts were strangely (or perhaps, not-so-strangely) about you. 

Sorry sugar…guess I wasn't strong enough to make it out alive…

Buried there beneath the wreckage, crushed by the weight of his own hubris and surrounded by a mountain of corpses, Karl Heisenberg finally went still.

Epilogue

[lowkeyrobin]

DANNY BIXLER ; rodeo

summary ; instead of deadites, danny unleashed some swag ass vampires ; just a little romance trope thing I thought of idk ; inspired heavily on lil nas x's rodeo music video bc holy shit ive been obsessed.

warnings ; language, blood, death, weapons

pronouns used ; they/them

word count ; 904

AN ; I'm not big into aus but shit this vampire au 🙏🙏🙏

masterlist

Danny Bixler unleashed a mass of hellion vampires from the ancient Necronomicon on the night of November 28th 2023. He unknowingly spawned an army of darkness through a passageway connecting this world to more, evil worlds beyond our own.

Vampires were still conscious humans, just with the extra effects of fangs, some serious leaping and sprinting abilities, extra strength and stamina, sharp ears, claws, and a new punk-inspired style. Thankfully, they only wander at night.

And their population was low, so far. Only some residents of The Monde.

In conclusion, Y/N L/N, Danny, Kassie and Bridget Bixler, also their mother, Ellie, had become blood thirsty creatures. Ever since that night, Beth had sworn to protect them in a way, they were still family to her. She sat with Mr. Fonda's gun in her lap during the day, just waiting it all out, making sure they rested peacefully in their rooms.

During the night, if they went out, Beth stayed awake, if not, she slept the night away. She wore heavy, dark circles under her eyes, keeping her usual style. If she could, she worked for some money for food, water, the essentials. She focused on keeping the Bixler's and L/N teen safe and protected from the men driving around the city wirh loaded machine guns.

You and Danny sit on the roof of the apartment complex after a meal of intestines, graciously donated by the slightly freezer-burned Gabriel. You couldn't help but feel bad, eating people you knew as your neighbors. It fucking sucked, but something inside you possessed you when you got too hungry, something you shared with the others.

Beth recalled that when she got the closest look at you on day one, your eyes rolled back into your skull, black ooze spilling from your mouth, acting vile and angry compared to your usual respectful and and chill attitude. It happened for the others too, Beth learned her lesson to keep you guys fed, for sure.

"Dan?"

He slowly looks at you, lips slightly parted, two scars on his bottom lip. He was still getting used to the feeling of fangs, even months later.

"Yeah?" He asks, running a hand through his hair.

"You wanna go down there tonight?" You ask him, looking down at the street below

He shrugs and nods in response, throwing himself over the edge of the roof. He lands on his feet, awaiting your arrival to the ground. You repeat his moves, joining him on the pavement. You fix up your trip pants, pulling the bottoms up a bit so you wouldn't completely trip over yourself. Danny fixes his leather jacket, fidgeting with one of the straps before you pull him along.

The luminescence of green lights and the full moon in the sky light your path, both pairs of boots stomping on the sidewalk. Not a single person in sight, no cars, no signs of life.

A dark, peaceful bliss with hues of green and blue.

Danny hands you an earbud, scrolling through one of his Spotify playlists. You accept the offer, putting the earbud on, listening to the clunking of your heavy boots beneath you.

Save That Shit, Lil Peep.

He grins, hands on his hips. You chuckle and shake your head, watching him hide his phone away in his jeans pocket.

He starts by singing the lyrics as you walk, his intense smiling showing off his new fangs. His eyes were slightly glazed over, as per the new usual, a blue glow reflecting off of them.

Fuck my life, can't save that girl.

Don't tell me you could save that shit.

All she want is payback for the way I always play that shit.

You join in to singing along, taking his hand in yours.

Do you wanna glow? Baby we could glow.

You run a hand through your hair, picking up the pace to feel the air against your face.

Wind therapy, you called it.

You giggle, accidently biting your lip with your new teeth as you quickly stop. Danny quickly looks at you, silently asking if you're okay. You look at your finger with a light sigh.

"Twinsies" You groan, hiding a smile

"Again" He chuckles

You suck on your lip, trying to suck the blood up to stop the bleeding.

"I can help you," Danny smirks

Before you can even process or respond what he's said, he smashes his lips into yours, sucking your lips into a kiss. He places his right hand under your chin, forcing you to look up at him. He pulls away, wiping a smear of blood from his bottom lip with his index finger.

He looks back at you, stunned in silence. He giggles, looking away for a moment as he runs a hand through his blonde hair out of fear of rejection.

You're silent and speechless for a moment, trying to thing of something witty to say, although nothing comes to mind. You can only pull him in again, placing a quick kiss on his scarred lips.

He smiles, raising an eyebrow. "So... that wasn't a no...?"

You roll your eyes, "Dipshit"

He smiles, understanding your sarcasm, "Whatever, you liked it!"

"How long have you been planning that out?"

"Planning? Are you saying I'm not a natural flirt?"

"You aren't, Danny"

"Wha-! ...True..."

You shake your head with a smile, licking your dried lips.

"Wanna make some mischief?"

"Never say that again."

[jankwritten]

DAY 2: FIRST DATE/FIRST KISS

Nico stacks another branch onto the roof of a fort and steps back with his hands on his hips to observe it. He’s always had a keener eye for fine details - Jason’s the planner. Nico is the doer. 

They were ten when they built this fort for the first time, giggling as they bundled up sticks, tearing dead vines down from the trees to tie the roof together. It blew down in the first storm that came through town. Jason cried about it, sitting in the barely-standing foundational square, the laid out borders he’s spent so long excited to execute. Nico sat with him in silence. It was cathartic. 

They rebuilt it the next summer. That one blew down too, though Jason only found out because he stumbled across Nico trying to rebuild it by himself. Nico had looked back at him, caked with dirt, sweat-streaked and sun-burnt, so fucking determined, Jason didn’t even have room to grieve. He was too busy realizing what love felt like. 

Jason graduated from college last weekend. 

Nico, apparently, still rebuilds their fort. 

“I brought lunch,” Jason says. 

Nico startles, turning quickly over his shoulder, wielding one of his sticks like a bat. For a second, it’s almost like he doesn’t recognise Jason, his eyes swiping up and down quickly, brows drawn in. 

“Sorry.” Jason shifts the basket up to his elbow and holds his hands up, smiling. “Your dad told me where you were.” 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Nico’s stick falls to the wayside. He looks at the picnic basket and makes a face. “Oh god. Don’t tell me he gave you that, too.” 

“No, no, this was all me,” Jason says, shifting the basket to his other arm. It’s heavy, full of snacks and foods he remembers Nico liked, a long time ago. Half of it he probably doesn’t care for anymore. Hopefully the nostalgia will fill in those gaps. 

Guilt isn’t quite the thing that climbs into his gut. Jason doesn’t remember his best friend’s favorite foods anymore. That just doesn’t sit right. 

But he’s home, now. And he can fix that. 

“Want to, uh. Eat?” 

Nico still doesn’t look totally convinced, glancing between Jason and the basket, back and forth. His eyes narrow. He drops the stick. “Fine, yeah,” he says. “But, also, you have to tell me why the fuck you’re here.” 

“Only if you tell me why you’re still building that damn fort.” 

“Deal.” 

Nico kissed Jason for the very first time in that fort. 

They were fifteen, spending the night out in the woods on a dare. It was quiet in the way nights always are when there’s shit not being said, shit that should be said. 

It wasn’t anything revolutionary. They were laying there, side by side, staring at the trees through the holes in the roof they couldn’t fix, and then all of a sudden Nico leaned over and kissed him. It was a quick peck, off center and damp and too hard. Jason still gets a little tingly feeling in his fingertips when he thinks about it. 

They didn’t date, then. If there’s one thing Jason regrets, it’s that; letting Nico think Jason didn’t like him back. 

“What was that?” Jason had whispered, too stunned to think of anything other than holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. 

Of course, that clammed Nico up. Scared him off. 

By the time either of them brought it up again, Jason was off to college, and Nico had accepted a job with his father. There was nothing to talk about, really. 

But Jason is here now, dammit. He’s here now, and Nico still rebuilds their fort, and it all has to mean something. 

It means, years later, when they’re arguing over a bottle of wine and homemade peanut butter and jellies, Nico insists their first date was that time in the woods, when Jason ambushed him with a picnic and spread his heart out on the leaves. That time Jason brought him memories in a handbasket, things Nico had forgotten in his anger. 

Jason thinks their first date was a night Nico’s always told himself he dreamt, a night when he was fifteen and the world stopped for a second and he forgot who he was, who Jason was, when Nico kissed him, like an idiot. 

It isn’t the first time they’ve had this argument. It will not be the last. 

[pomefioredove]

I think the only way I could actually share a living space with either of the tweels is if I was like. Living in their walls like some kind of rat and they somehow didnt know I was there. The moment they become of aware of my presence my life is suddenly at risk and I gotta flee the country and create a new identity

Speaking of people we won't room with, it's been said before but Riddle. I could neither dorm with him nor share a house with separate bedrooms. I appreciate the fact that he's a man who will keep our house tidy and clean up after himself, but I'm not exactly the neatest person myself and would be horrible at following any of proper etiquette. We would get into arguments SO OFTEN especially if it's pre-overblot Riddle??? I eat with my elbows on the table one time and suddenly I have to sleep in the hallway outside our dorm room

Also Silver?? Maybe it's just me on this one but him randomly falling asleep would give me SO MANY heart attacks. The alarms would be annoying, sure, but nothing would beat the adrenaline rush of him falling asleep somewhere dangerous. Imagine he's on your roof trying to fix a leak and he falls asleep and ends up sliding off the side??? Not to mention what he just. Falls asleep outside one night and doesn't come home. I'd be shaking in my boots trying to figure out where he is and if he's safe. And then he comes home at 2am when he finally comes home I'd get another heart attack cause holy shit someone's coming into my house at 2am 😭

okay you get me on the riddle thing. I'd forget to make my bed and he'd start tweaking. I don't have the patience for that

as for silver. THAT'S SO REAL. he needs someone like that in his life bc I know lilia is just like "oh he's fine he does this all the time" bc of his parenting method. the image of silver falling asleep and sliding off a roof while you freak out and lilia and malleus are just pleasantly smiling without a care in the world is SENDING ME

[foundtherightwords]

Time Out in the Upside Down

(GIFs by @kwistowee)

When the above comparison was posted on Reddit, somebody pointed out that it looks like Ralph just stepped out of the time machine into Eddie's trailer. I, who have been grading papers for three days straight and delirious with boredom, naturally thought, Hey, that sounds like a fun idea, and proceeded to write a little one-shot because I wanted to procrastinate. I don't know who wants to read it, but here it is.

Ralph stepped out of the lift, into a murky gray light. He squinted. An evil red glare flashed through the dimness, showing him a cramped room, covered in what looked like thick vines or roots. It certainly wasn't a corridor of the swanky hotel he'd just entered. Flakes of snow or ash swirled in the air, sticking to his nose and his throat as he took a breath.

"Achoo!"

The moment the sneeze escaped him, the walls of the room shook ominously. Scratching, scraping sounds echoed from the ceiling, like some sort of animals—a lot of them—were crawling over the roof.

Ralph fixed his pith helmet more firmly on his head and clutched at his rifle to stop his hands from shaking. Where in the world was he? He knew he shouldn't have tempted fate. He knew he shouldn't have gotten into that lift, not after what Lauren and her friends had told him about it, not after he'd seen how it reduced Lauren's brother, Nick, to a shell of a man. Curiosity killed the cat, as his sister Victoria would've said.

He turned around, hoping to go back the way he came, but to his horror, the lift had vanished.

Ralph barely had time to panic, when he heard voices. They were coming from behind a door at the end of the room, whispering at first, then becoming louder as they rose in contention.

"I did hear something, I swear to God!" one of them said. It sounded young. Not a child, but not quite an adult either.

"Maybe it was your own fart," another voice, older, retorted. Their accent was... strange. American, Ralph thought. A bit rougher than the American visitors he'd met in London, but close.

"Haha, very funny. No, it was more like a—like a sneeze."

Ralph held himself very, very still.

"Are you saying those bats can sneeze?" the older voice snapped.

"Just open the door, will you?!"

"OK. But if this got me killed, I swear I'll be your personal poltergeist, Henderson."

The door handle started turning. Ralph looked around, frantic like a trapped animal. There was nowhere for him to go. The lift was gone. The window was too small, and either way, it was blocked by one of those slimy vines. The only way out was through the door, where the two unknown persons were waiting. Ralph fumbled with his rifle, wondering if he should raise it. He wasn't even sure how to hold it properly.

"Just open it! Like a Band-Aid!" the young voice—Henderson's—said, impatiently.

"Shut up!"

The door burst open with a bang.

Ralph screamed.

The person on the other side of the door screamed.

Then the person stopped.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked, staring at Ralph.

Ralph stared back.

It was like looking into a mirror.

Before Ralph or the other man could recover their shock, another face peered over the other man's shoulder. Henderson, Ralph presumed. He was a boy, dressed peculiarly in some sort of hooded jumper with a cloak of fur or feather or moss draped over it.

The boy's eyes went wide as they landed on Ralph.

"Holy. Shit," he said solemnly.

***

"Are you sure you two are not related?" Henderson asked, once they had settled into the room on the other side of the door. It was slightly more spacious, but also covered in the same vines. Strangest of all, there was a rope made out of bed sheets hanging from the ceiling, and when Ralph looked up, he saw something that made him doubt his sanity. The rope went through a fissure on the ceiling, a gash in the middle of a coil of vines, and what was on the other side of the fissure was—another room, a mirror image of this one, complete with a mattress directly below the rope, only upside down. He couldn't understand what he was looking at, so he stopped looking and turned his attention back to his new acquaintances.

Not that looking at them was any better, especially the young man that Henderson called Eddie. If it wasn't for Eddie's long hair and outlandish garb—a sleeveless, puffy vest worn over a leather jacket, a black handkerchief tied around his head, pirate-like, and a bandolier slung low over his waist in place of a belt—he and Ralph could have been twins. Not in the same way that Ralph and Victoria were twins—born on the same day but looking nothing alike. Eddie was a little leaner around the face, but they shared every feature. Even some of their movements were similar. It was disconcerting, to say the very least.

Eddie rolled his eyes at Henderson's question. "I think I'd known if I was related to some snobby Brit dressed like an extra on Raiders of the Lost Ark," he said, while sizing Ralph up. "Besides, I don't see much of a resemblance."

Henderson shook his head. "Sorry about him," he said to Ralph.

Ralph shrugged helplessly. He could detect the contempt in Eddie's voice, but he was too bewildered to feel offended.

"So you came here in... a time machine?" Henderson said. Ralph nodded.

"Does it look like a DeLorean?" Eddie chimed in. "Were you accompanied by a crazy scientist named Doc Brown?"

This time, his contempt was unmistakable, and Ralph's hackles were up.

"Listen here, you pillock, let's throw you into my world and see how you fare!" he hissed. This boor wouldn't last a day with Victoria bossing him around.

"Pillock?" Eddie said with a snort. "Where did you come from, a Dickens novel?"

"No, 1926 London, you—you plank!"

Before Eddie could think of a comeback, Henderson stepped in. "Would you both just calm down? Jesus. In case you haven't noticed, we have bigger things to worry about here."

Eddie shrugged, unintentionally mimicking Ralph's gesture just a moment ago. An overwhelming sense of déjà-vu washed over Ralph, and he had to close his eyes briefly.

"The time machine's in a lift," he explained. "My friends, they came from—from the future in it. I was going to join the French Legion, but on the way to the dock to catch my ship, I went past the hotel where they said the lift was located, so I thought, let's check it out, what's the harm? And now... here I am."

"And where's this lift now?" Henderson asked.

"It's disappeared," Ralph replied miserably.

Henderson and Eddie glanced at each other.

"I know this sounds like horsefeathers," Ralph said. "But it is the truth. I am from 1926. Look." He opened his knapsack and dug out his identification papers. "Look at my date of birth!"

Remarkably, the other two didn't seem that surprised.

"Hey, three days ago I didn't know there was another dimension under my hometown," Eddie said. "Honestly, a time machine in an elevator sounds almost normal compared to that."

Their easy acceptance calmed Ralph down. "But what sort of future is this?" he asked. "Are we at war?" He glanced at the nail-studded bin lids and homemade spears that Henderson and Eddie held in their hands.

Again, they exchanged a look.

"I guess you can say that—" Henderson began.

"It'll take too long to explain," Eddie interrupted. "We don't have time." He nodded at the ceiling meaningfully. That horrible scratching sound still hadn't stopped. If anything, it had gone louder... and more concentrated, like whatever creatures making it had gathered into one spot. "So just stay out of the way, OK, Limey?"

"What is that—" Ralph asked, only to earn a furious "Shhhhhh!!!" from both Henderson and Eddie.

Without further discussion, they all quieted down and strained their ears, trying to gauge where the sound was.

BANG! A vent on the ceiling exploded inward, making them jump.

The thing poking its head through the opening was—Ralph had no words to describe it. He guessed it could be called a bat, if a bat was the size of a large cat, had three rows of teeth, razor-sharp claws, and a forked tail. It shrieked at them, a horrible, piercing screech.

Eddie and Henderson jumped to their feet, bin-lid shields at the ready, and drove their spears at the opening. Their stabs managed to hit the target a few times, but the bat refused to back down despite the black blood dripping from its face. When it did retreat, even more terrifyingly, several others took its place, like a Hydra. There were too many of them. Already they were tearing through the ceiling. Soon they would swarm into the room. Ralph hated to think what those teeth could do to a person.

The boys kept screaming and stabbing, but there was no stopping the bats. Ralph tried to get out of their way, tried to combat the fear and the guilt. It appeared he would always be useless, no matter where or when he was.

Then his eyes landed on his Legion-issued rifle on the floor, where he'd put it.

Well, how hard could it be? You just point and shoot.

He snatched the rifle up. "Duck!" he shouted.

"Those are not ducks, they're—" Eddie yelled back, but Henderson, apparently the more clear-headed of the two, immediately dropped to the floor and pulled Eddie along.

Ralph pulled the trigger.

The explosion was so close, it knocked his hearing out. All he saw was a flash and a puff of smoke, and then the smell of gunpowder assaulted his nostrils, telling him that he had indeed fired a shot.

A jagged hole stood where the open vent was, but the bats were gone, save for a large blood splatter.

"Close it!!!" Henderson screamed. Eddie pulled a chair over and jumped on it, throwing his nail-studded shield at the hole. The nails stuck to the ceiling, holding the shield in place. Then they both turned and looked at Ralph in awe and gratitude.

The ringing in Ralph's ears died down, enough for him to hear Henderson gasp, "Dude, why didn't you use that before?"

For a while, the three of them could only sit and breathe and grin at each other in that companionable, relieved way strangers often do when they just get through some ordeal together.  

Suddenly, Henderson's smile went out, his face paled, and he jumped to his feet, closely followed by Eddie.

The angry shrieks of the bats were coming back, getting closer.

Henderson tightened his grip on his spear. Eddie picked up the remaining shield on the ground and turned to Ralph. "You'll be OK with that?" he asked, nodding at the rifle.

"Yes," Ralph said, with a confidence he didn't quite feel.

"Good." Eddie seemed to have come to a decision. He unclasped the bandolier around his waist and handed it to Ralph. "Welcome to the Upside Down."

And then Ralph saved Eddie from the demobats with his gun, and somehow Ralph found the time machine again and made his way back home, where he met a nice American girl whose last name was Munson, and they had a kid together (Wayne). When World War II broke out, she had to go home and they got separated, but she gave birth to another kid (Eddie's dad), and that's how Ralph Penbury became Eddie Munson's grandfather. (Can you tell I wrote this very, very late last night?)

[call-me-tk]

Beetlejuice the Musical - an Analysis/My Favorite Parts

Prologue: Invisible

“Grown-ups wanna fix things. When they can't it only fills them with shame, so they just look away." 

The Whole “Being Dead" Thing

TRUMPETS

“Rodgers, Hart, and Hammerstein”

"How you doin'? Oh, not good! *scats*"

“If you die while listening to this album, it’s still gonna keep playing”

“Blah blah Bible Jesus Magic”

DIES IRAE

Ready Set, Not Yet

THE FAST BITS

When Adam waits a beat after his fast bit before saying “ready set” because he’s not as confident as Barbara ahhhhhhhh

When Barbara sings the word "terror" like "terra" 

“Hiding away so you don’t have to face being a bad mom” whoever wrote these lyrics is so mean

“Oh… NO”

The Whole "Being Dead" Thing: Reprise

The pause after “Hi!”

“Jesus I can’t spell”

“Eh, worth a try”

“I’m the bio-exorcist, giving houses enemas”

Dead Mom

“Daddy’s moving forward, daddy didn’t lose a mom”

“A plague of mice, a lightning strike, or drop a nuclear bomb”

Fright of their Lives

“Drop your panties”

“No. What fills you with RAGE”

“Being mean to a pet” MOOD BARBARA

BJ’s soliloquy, he’s so over it, so DRAMATIC

“WHY GOD SLASH SATAN”

“Uch, these dopes are both hopeless”

Ready, Set (Reprise)

You can just SEE the shoulder bump with “I’m sure we can haunt our own halls”

“I gotta get right outside my comfort zone” 😬

No Reason

“What’s happening, GURL”

“Buy more crystals”

The windchime during “put a little alright in the world”

“Where good people die” “NO”

“Cuz you’re bored” FLUTE SOLO

“Meaninglessness and alone” “NONONONONOOOOOOoooooo~” the talent it takes to pull off that vocal riff is ridiculous

“Is this still about me?”

The harmonies in the last note

Invisible (Reprise)/On the Roof

“Somebody’s on the roof” always has me cackling

“I, Lydia Deetz” *BIG SIGH* “will be gone”

“I’M GONNA HAVE A NEW BEST FRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEND”

Say My Name

The musical style?!?!?!?

This is my favorite song in the entire show. And it was not an easy choice.

“What?” “Nothing”

Nice Moana reference

“Beetlejuice?” she says, like “what a dumb fuckin name”

LYDIA’S WHOLE SECTION LET’S GOOOOOO

Including the music change

BJ being like WHAT and SO frustrated every time she psychs him out

In the production I saw Lydia said “I just metcha” and I like that better

“I may be suicidal but Beetlejuice it’s not as if I’ve lost my mind” OOF

“That was possession” lol he’s so proud of himself

Love love love the rhyme: “Pretty much, any ghost’ll do, sure” “Then Beetlejuice, what do I need you for?” and the subsequent WOAH WOAH WOAH

The instrumental hit right after she sings “Yeah I got game” is my favorite 

This whole song just slaps idk what else to tell you

Day-O

“I’d have to… check my pay stubs”

“Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy” as he pops up out of the table he had to hide in the whole scene

Dad finally saying Lydia’s name as he’s swept away

“It’s our house now, kid”

Girl Scout

“Ooh~!”

The piano during “my heart is defective” A+ score writing

“Still”

*dramatic music* JAMBOREES

“Whee!”

*nervous laughter after meeting Lydia*

“By selling cookies *BIG BREATH* four dollars a box”

Also. FOUR DOLLARS A BOX?!??!?!?! Jealous.

“Pedophiles” 😇

That Beautiful Sound

“He is so weird”

Love the smooth jazzy style

“Time for a few OH MY GOD”

“How many… people… live here?”

Lydia’s laugh after “nice moves Lydia” is so pure

“Pfah, holy moly, lotta people come to this house”

“Yes, I hear that sooooooooooound” he’s so happy

“No more condescending adults hanging around”

“Daddy’s leaving me the hell alone”

Barbara 2.0

“It’s the stuff of our lives, and all of it’s shit.”

“Okay, that wasn’t as much fun as I thought it would be.”

“Buhreak it”

“The new Adam is wiserrrrrrr”

Harmonieeeeees

What I Know Now

“I went to parties a lot…” *sniff* “You know?”

“Niche was right, you know? To live is to suffer, bro”

“Life is short but death is super long”

I really like this song because if you ruminate on it long enough it’s a good song to talk you into living life to its fullest even if things suck.

Home

I love that this is a reprise but also the whole theme of Lydia’s character - that her mom is home. But then she finds out that she can have a home with a (very dysfunctional) family and not forget her mom either.

Her little laugh when she says Delia’s name

Creepy Old Guy

“I’m a creepy old guy!!” 

“Girls may seem disgusted, but we’re actually just shy”

Shoobedowop

In the show I saw, Lydia goes: “Even on the inside, he- he’s disgusting” which I liked better than the recording

“A dance break on an album? Amazing.”

“L’chaim” is pronounced correctly, thank you Alex

“God be glorified” in a fucked up key

The whole company going “I can’t believe some cultures think this kind of thing’s alright” in unison

Jump in the Line/Dead Mom - Reprise

A perfect song to end a perfect show.

“I adore huh”

“Mama if you’re listening, doesn’t this just blow your mind?”

Shake shake shake senora in the background UGH MY HEART

DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WAN GO HOME

She’s home (I’m not crying you’re crying)

Overall thoughts:

Alex doing the Beetlejuice voice throughout THE WHOLE SHOW

The rhyming throughout the whole musical is just. A+

Lydia’s songsssssss

Honestly all the vocal parts are real hard

And so is the book for the pit

There’s like 8 different genres of music throughout the show and it just WORKS

I had no idea this show existed until the start of this year and now it’s in my top 3 favorite musicals. 10/10 amazing incredible perfect

[bookoflibrary]

Event Summary: "Everything Begins within the Stars

The event story starts off with reality Alice reading a book, 'The Galactic Railroad' on the school's roof, as recommended to her by her teacher who she loves. This is where she is contemplating suicide. One thing I found neat is the part where all the alts in the event are about to die take direct excerpts from their stories of the same scene. But then suddenly a giant locomotive falls through the sky and ruins her suicide. Reality Alice is wincing and wondering what just happened when Match Girl yells out if she is okay, but Nutcracker gets angry says they should be seeing about him first.

It turns out Dorothy helped the dolls build the train, and all the Library characters groan like 'Of course there was gonna be something defective on it.' Reality Alice is still sitting there confused as they talk amongst themselves. It was originally meant to be a Conducter's Day event, but the train broke. Aladdin says he needs to find a place in this world that can buy gold stat, but Nutcracker says they don't have time to do that and convert it to real money. The locomotive is still broken, so Aladdin says they need to find a place to stay until they can fix it or sell off some gold. They ask Reality Alice what she was doing and she sighs, 'suicide… '

The two Alice have a small and gentle exchange of words. Reality Alice snaps back to reality and looks down at the bustle below the building. She feels a moment of sickness, but somehow finds Library Alice comforting. Aladdin says in broken English they need to seek an asylum. Match Girl is confused, 'What's an… asylum?' And Aladdin corrects himself, 'A shelter.'

Nut then takes it upon himself to ask Reality Alice invasive questions about her home and life, and invites them all into her home, saying it's a responsibility of the youth to protect the elderly. Her parents happened to be overseas on a trip, so they come in. There Reality Alice's cat, Noa, greets everyone. But the cat startles him and he stumbles backwards into the stove and catches on fire.

Enter Reality!Matchie coming to help extinguish the fire because the crew call 9-11 and she taps their location. 'Where's the fire?' But then the two Matchies exchange shocked looks. Once they use an extinguisher and get rid of the fire, Nut stands there wet and the two Matchies looking at each other confused. They may look like they have a difference in age, but there is no mistaking they also share the same face. Library Matchie breaks the ice saying Reality Matchie was so cool just now, and she reminded her of 'her other self'. Reality Matchie could only question her confusion.

The two Matchie's get together right away and have fun. But there's one more character here missing. Aladdin somehow finds out 'he' is living in a luxurious apartment. There's a high tech facial recognition thing attached to the gates of them, but because he has 'his' face, Library Aladdin just continues on with a smile. He sees the apartment and smiles, because of course it would be like this. 'Well, I guess it makes sense I would have money no matter where I'm at' and 'With lots of people, like a castle'

But then suddenly the intercom comes on. Its Altladdin and he's less than pleased. 'Don't come near my apartment without an appointment for starters.'

Library Aladdin is kinda taken back by the day trader and tries to explain things to him, but Altladdin refuses to believe him.

So Altladdin says he wants proof he's from a fairytale and he wants proof there's a magical train. 'If it exists and it's from another world, it's probably worth a ton of money anyway'. So they all assemble to the roof and reality Ala is basically like well holy shit basically once the tarp covering the train is taken off.

Aladdin is like 'Weeeeeell… I need something from this world to fix it because the train is broken' and asks Altladdin if he could buy the part in this world they need. Altladdin says, 'What's in it for me?' Aladdin says gold is going up in value in this world and he can have as much of his gold as he pleases and Altladdin hurries and says 'Good deal'

The train gets repaired thanks to the day trader. While they're getting everyone on board, Altladdin pops open a can of an energy drink. Aladdin wonders what that is, and so Altladdin tells him the day is looking busy so he needs it. Aladdin looks at him sadly. 'You shouldn't drink that. That doesn't look healthy for you…. '

Alice decides to go to school in place of Reality Alice. The two had gotten very close. She does just that, meanwhile Reality Alice's cat Noa continues to bully and scratch Nutcracker. While Library Alice is at school, the teacher approaches her, saying he looked into abortion and it wouldn't cost much at this stage and that there would be little to no damage on her body either. Library Alice remembers Reality Alice throwing up as they were changing, and sees the wedding ring on his left finger and then realizes what's happening. She gets angry and swats him away. 'DON'T TOUCH HER AGAIN!' Upset, she runs home despite the school day not being over. Reality Alice sees how poorly Library Alice looks and asks what's wrong. Library Alice says no one knew they swapped places but students picked that she looks like she lost weight, then tells her that the teacher is awful and even he couldn't tell.

Reality Alice knows that her teacher is cruel, but she can't stop loving him, and it reminds Library ALice of how she is bounded to her Author. 'Then, if you can't hate him, I will.' Reality Alice says in that case she will hate her Author for her, and the two girls laugh after they hug.

Meanwhile Reality Matchie is in the dispatch car with her coworkers. It turns out people are turning to nightmares, and soon they all start doing the same. She screams out, and as they drive by, she sees the building she set herself on fire at at the end of her reality chapter. This is.. my story. I'm supposed to die here… '

It turns out this the dolls doing. They are determined to get the characters to end the world and continue killing again and don't want the story disturbed. Reality Alice begs her cat Noa to wake up. Reality Matchie runs off. She takes Noa and runs to the building. 'I have to go to that building!' That's her story. The dolls are like 'that's right.' It turns out this current world is one Reality Alice's unborn child dreamed of to save her from killing herself, and is trying to summon every single fairytale and alt alike to help.

The dolls say the unborn child is too weak to maintain the order in this world and keep the dream going, therefore the world is going to collapse. It doesn't matter because all of the characters can keep killing and dying and coming back to life anyway.

Reality Matchie also realizes she has matches in her hand, but Library Matchie rushes to her. Library Matchie is crying tears of joy, happy she was able to save the firefighter. 'Thank goodness for the other-other me…' Reality Matchie says she was indeed rescued by a girl exactly like her who was more brutish. The two girls team up to defeat nightmares, then Library Matchie takes her hand. 'Come with me!'

Meanwhile, Aladdin Alt walked himself to the brokerage firm, the same one in his story where he died. He had an energy drink in one hand and caffeine pills in the other. At this point he was aware this was his story and he accepted the consequences of his actions. But then Library Aladdin rushes to him. 'You are me, and I am you. And you too are using money to compensate not being able to protect someone important to you.' Aladdin Alt: 'What do you mean?' Aladdin just smiles at his reality self saying the answer is simple, and swats the stuff out of his hands. Saying that losing anything else at this point is foolish and he should come with him.

Meanwhile Nut has been busy trying to Avenger assemble the other characters, but the alts are no longer in the scene of their deaths and he cant get every character. All the characters and their reality counterparts rush out, and the dolls try to stop them in their tracks saying they are violating conduct to seasonal events and the main story, then summon a huge nightmare. Nutcracker yells back at them that they violate things all the time and they're the ones who set everything up like this in the first place.

They all panic and run to the locomotive and get inside. Altladdin mocks Aladdin and says 'Drive safely conductor' and Aladdin smiles and says to leave it to him. Reallity Matchie says in the case of a fire to leave it to her and it dawns on Alice what book she was reading. She made a conductor signal to her reality counterpart. 'Night on the Galactic Railroad.' A hole appears in the sky and they take off into it, away from the collapsing city the unborn child tried to make a better haven from it's dream it couldn't sustain.

Alice says as they talk off she's tired of wearing strange clothes every season anymore. Aladdin says Library is quite weird and he's tired of it himself. But Reality Matchie tells Library Matchie her conductor suit looks really nice on her and that makes her happy. Reality Aladdin said maybe it's time they all revolt against the dolls. Library Alice agrees, they had it a long time coming. The dolls tell them to stop talking and get their asses back in the Library.

Meanwhile Reality Alice is quiet, and looks down in her lap to her dying cat Noa. It suddenly dawns on her the soul of her child was Noa, and she tears up, saying she's sorry for being an incompetent mother. Noa licks the tears off her hands to comfort her, then meows one last meow before fading away.

Library Alice comforts her, saying Noa did everything he could to save them all. Aladdin says this new world they are going to feels like a child being reborn. The characters have broken free from the pain of their stories but now they lost their sense of purpose. Nutcrucker comforts them, saying that this train goes anywhere and they can explore every single possibility.

Nut says this place goes beyond the Library, where no rules restrict anyone. Aladdin says it's like a baby being reborn. And the event ends with Alice blowing a conductor whistle which sounds like a cry of an infant. Alice points it out but Nutcracker says she is hearing things. A new scratch from nowhere appears on his back. And so, these 'nobody' characters traveled through new stories in the galaxy. Altladdin eyes sparkle like a child at the view.

End.

Side Note: The alts aren't in the location of their deaths because this triggered an effect on all the characters to avoid their fate. They are alive and well, fully voiced in the side story reading the Library Abridged ver of The Night on The Galactic Express. With Dorothy's help, of course.

[wytfut]

Aluminum siding....

I think as a kid who grew up in the 60's, we remember the hard core salesmen that bang on your door... vacuum cleaners, spices, aluminum siding, brushes. .... all humorous in a way today. There has even been movies made about this type of life.

My Pop... way back in the 60's bit the bullet and bought aluminum siding. The guy sold him the goods, and he bit hook line and sinker. The company had their contractor put it up..... Pop wanted his crushed rock roof strauss built home, to be pink for eternity. And so it was....

It was shortly after... maybe a year or 2 later, we had a historic Nebraski hail storm. And just beat the shit out of the siding. I'd say that this aluminum siding was much softer than todays products...

Anything exposed under the eaves of the house on the west and south side took the beating.

Pop about cried and tried to make a claim on his damaged siding, and of course his insurance company didn't recognize aluminum siding as a standard house siding. .... nada... nothing.

The siding remained on for I'd say at least a couple of decades, all dinged up. Finally in the late 90's Mom and Pop were financially comfortable, Pop had the dinged siding removed and covererd with red brick as a wainscoting about 6' up on all sides of the house. I wont critique the color combination, but Mom and Pop were happy. The aluminum siding higher up remained, and looked good until the house was sold.

Now I bring this humorous story up, as that most likely wasn't Pop's only upside down event in his life. And as I grew up there, I know I have picked up this behavior up.... and have applied it many times thru the years.

Examples:

I just had to have a diesel car. After the 70's embargo, it only made sense to me. So I left my brand (Ford at that time didn't quite yet have a diesel model), and ordered a brand new buick diesel.

Probably the prettiest car I have ever owned to this day. Within 6000 miles, the motor blew up. And we were without a car for close to 3 months.

Within a couple of years, the transmission went. Basically I ordered from Detroit the grand GM double joke.

Sounds innocent enough.... but if a person were to stand back and take a good look at this story or the many others, including my Pop's.... he and I get an idea in our heads, and the blinders come on. No changing of the minds here mind you. And admittedly, it is a weakness or a curse.

Not that we both would fall for salesmen....no no.... but the fact that once we get an idea, we just can't let it go.

Pop I'm sure was told by all his chronie State Troopers...."don't do it!!" ...Just I was told by many folks not to buy a GM diesel.

Here's my latest blinders mistake.

A few years ago, I was using a product called "ride on" on my motorcycle tires. It claimed to reduce flat tires substantially, and would also balance your tires. It was a gooie substance, and for all the years I had used it, I was very happy with it.

I found another company selling a "tire sealer" years ago, a friend used on his farm truck. He had tires with multiple nails in all of his tires with no flats to report.

Thru the years, I had heard that tire repair shops hated these products. Some of the earlier products were impossible to remove. Which made fixing a simple flat tire impossible.

Come up to date now.... to about 4 weeks ago.

My hunny said we were not going to drive to colorado on the tires on her car... especially the one with a double plug (being a tightwad, I fix our own tires, right or wrong, I do). Ok. So I rounded up some very nice almost new tires on facebook market place. Got them for a song.... extremely cheap.

My thoughts.... put berryman's tire sealer in them. Josh, Luke, and myself mounted each..... life was good.

I was still under the impression, that berrymans tire sealer would also balance these tires. As that was "Ride On" claim.

We got about 250 miles into the trip, and holy shit... the tires took off. Shaking the Patti's car like no tomorrow. Many miles of trying to figure out how to avoid the shaking... I determined that if I stayed under 70, it wasn't too bad or very often. It'd still do it a bit here and there.... but no way over 70.

Made it to our destination. And as the week went on I contacted several tire shops. One said he'd try to balance them.... and he couldn't. Another in Estes, said yup he'd fix the issue, but it would cost.

Being a tourist in Estes.... I was guessing $400+. I cringed, Patti said do it....

The tire shop fixed all 4 tires (cleaned the goo out and balanced)..... $160, plus 2 days.

We were ecstatic. No way .... he could of taken huge advantage to our situation, but he didn't. God bless this man.

When I went to pick up the car.... this very same guy was in the parking lot helping a much older gentleman clean fresh asphalt off of his tires. The guy drove thru fresh asphalt (no barricades).... And his tires looked like huge donuts. I talked to the old guy. He was amazed that the guy was helping him, at no charge. Attacking the tires with pry bars....

Back to the point. Folks that know me.... know I do this. My boys, friends, etc. I get the blinders on, and it is the goal to achieve, hell or high water, it'll be done. They all just roll their eyes, and shake their heads

You'd think after years of this nonsense, I'd learn, or someone would just shake the shit out of me, to get my attention.

My next odd ball mission is to drop some ajax/comet down the carburetor of our 36 ford. lolololol I've already heard murmurings from some folks not directly. ...

[lurkingteapot]

Be my favourite  บทกวีของปีแสง Ep. 7

More than a week late, yep. Watching now and then maybe I can watch ep 8 and finally unblock all iterations of the tag, lolsob

we're on the roof again!

Kawi talking about things, trying really hard, and Pisaeng giving him an out, and … aaaah. I kinda wish he hadn’t. I wanted to see where this would’ve gone.

LESS THAN A MONTH thank FUCK he went

รพ as shorthand for โรงพยาบาล hospital makes perfect sense and I super wouldn't have clocked that on my own

GOD THEYYYY

… how about you say thanks to Pisaeng too, he's the one who got this started

don't do itttt

oh??

OH NO

WHAT A MOMENT TO BE TRANSPORTED TO holy SHIT

okay I really really hope for him that this goes well, shhhhhit

… is this iteration of Max into Kawi? oh please no this does not need to get MORE complicated

he has a poster of his own face up???

… and a LOT of booze out on the counter, that’s. not great.

they really ARE getting into the way alcohol is a problem. Good for them.

annnnd there it is. guess that’s what Pisaeng was coming to tell him, huh.

god, Max has the patience of a saint and Kawi honestly doesn’t deserve him

oh NO he’s gonna crash the wedding, huh

Pear did not want him there, shhhhit

I love how this show uses flashbacks. devastating.

KWANNNN. I do NOT get what she’d want from Not, but I guess the heart wants etc.

Pear is SO done with him

“fixing the future” doesn’t – shouldn’t – mean fixing it just for you, Kawi

Max is right and also like “have you listened to a single word I said”

Pisaeng and Max should get together in one of the universes, they’re both good guys and also they’d look cute together

playing in the sea, oh no ;-;

MENTHOL MAGAZINE I’m crying laughing

what’s with the sound here? please, gmmtv. or is this a dream or something?

This bgm is a GMMTV staple and I know it’s been in at least two other shows I’ve watched, but I can’t place it right now

the echo-y sound is so distracting

“one big thing” oh no

Pisaeng serenading Kawi, help ;_;

the drunk kiss … why does Pisaeng’s face look like it’s something that happens with some regularity

THE PREVIEW HOLY SHIT????

[strideofpride]

Heyyy hear me out..a wonderful life hod au..or an au post series where something happens that causes the yeehaw six to have never fallen in love with their respective partners or remember each other except lemon

Okay, I wasn't entirely sure what you meant by this, but I'm choosing to interpret it as post series Lemon wakes up in 2011 Lemon's body:

I think the first thing she'd do, because she's not thinking about anyone else in this moment, is break things off with George so she can be with Lavon.

Lavon is thrilled of course, but George is a mess, and it causes a BIG capital M Mess. All of a sudden the Mayor and the Town Lawyer are basically in a blood feud, people take sides (Brick is on George's for sure), it's capital B Bad.

Pretending for a second that Wade and George being kind of at odds in the first few eps was purposeful and their lifelong friendship was not a retcon, Wade and George are not in a good place so Wade chooses Lavon which pisses George off since Lavon was the one who was the cheater and now things between Wade and George are a mess too.

And of course, Lemon's like "holy shit, what have I done. I didn't think this through and do it in a way to prevent all of this Mess."

And that's when Zoe Hart rolls into town.

George and Zoe get together almost immediately. Except it's also a mess because neither one of them are in a good place at all, not even a little bit.

And Wade and Zoe still have that attraction of course. But Wade's self esteem in 2011 is still so low, and to Wade even Complete Wreck George Tucker feels like a better option than himself. How could he ever compete with George? So, he doesn't. And becomes his asshole early s2 self.

And of course, AB is still married to Jake in all of this, who Lemon knows is gonna cheat, but how could you go to your bestest friend and be like "your husband is gonna cheat on you in six months, leave his ass now, also the ex-fiance I just publicly dumped is the man you're meant to be with" without sounding like a loon?

So, Lemon tells Lavon the truth. I'm from x years in the future and we're married and happy but none of this went down the way it was supposed to, please help me fix it.

Lavon is understandably skeptical but he does feel guilty about what he did to George and he hates seeing Wade like this and even his new tenant Zoe Hart seems like she's in a bad place so yeah, okay.

Together, they find a way to expose Jake before he even leaves AB, and then Lemon suggests George should be her divorce lawyer.

AB is just like..."what? You want me to use your mess of an ex-fiance, the corporate lawyer to be my divorce lawyer? Your ex fiance who I don't even like? "And Lemon's like "uh huh yeah you heard me bitch, George is the best man for the job".

And well, AB will admit that she was impressed by the big case George won against Fillmore last year, so okay yeah.

George is understandably confused. "We don't like each other and you took my ex's side in our very public break-up and cheered her on and also I'm not even a divorce lawyer???" But he never liked Jake Nass and he could use an easy win so okay fine. Why not?

While George and AB are forced to spend more time together by necessity, Lavon starts sabotaging shit back at the house, all in an effort to push Zoe and Wade closer (based off memories Wade had told Lemon over the years). He refuses to fix the fuse, claims both the carriage house and the gate house need to be fumigated at the same time so they're forced under one roof, etc. etc.

And since Lemon's hanging around more, by virtue of dating Lavon and all, she starts planting little bugs in Wade's ear. "You deserve better, you could be a great man, I know you secretly like Zoe but you're going about everything entirely the wrong way, etc. etc." Subtlety is not in Lemon's nature.

Lemon also makes an effort to befriend Zoe. There's no George between them now anyway. But of course, Lemon also takes advantage to place some doubts in Zoe's head about George. "And I dated the man for fifteen years, so I know what I'm talking about!" And of course, to not so subtly nudge her towards Wade.

It turns out, getting Wade & Zoe and George & AB together like this is not that hard. By being forced to spend all that time together (plus with Lemon's manipulations), they are able to have the space they need to fall for one another. Zoe and George have a very amicable, "yeah, this was really just a rebound break-up" and that's that.

Getting the bad blood dissolved between the guys is much harder. Specifically between George and Lavon even though Lavon has apologized a thousand times by now. It takes the entire town to be like "George you're so much happier now anyway with AB! You and Lemon never would've worked out! Also we're really really tired of only being able to go to certain places in town" because the entire town took sides like that episode in Gilmore Girls where certain businesses were Team Luke and some were Team Lorelai and you couldn't patronize businesses of the opposite team.

And so the hatchet is reluctantly buried for the sake of the town. Things aren't quite the same, but they're still good. The end.

[raccoonhearteyes]

I want the angst ending because the pain helps me appreciate that in this timeline, we get the happy ending

Below the cut so I don't get people accidentally reading this and then murdering me.

Option 1:

Chapters 1-13 are all the exact same

Clarke makes a deal with the darkness. She gives up her art in exchange for Lexa, but this time there's no loophole. No drawing anything, especially no drawing Lexa.

When she shows up at Lexa's door, Lexa is thrilled at first. Until she hears what Clarke traded for, at which point she absolutely loses her mind. "Clarke I can't let you do that." "I'm not worth trading everything you've worked for for a girl no one else remembers." Clarke is stubborn and it's only been a few hours so she doesn't know how much she's going to regret/resent this decision. For the moment, she's just happy to see Lexa, know her name, kiss her face, ~pin her to a mattress~

Lexa wakes up in Clarke's arms and expects Clarke to not remember her, but she does, but she's also sleepy and her grabby hands are ineffective as Lexa excuses herself to go have a word with the darkness.

Of course, the darkness doesn't show up in the kitchen like she needs him to. So she ends up on the roof cursing his name like "you showed up all the time when I didnt want you and the ONE TIME I actually need to talk to you, you dont appear." she's like 4 seconds from banging some pots and pans together screaming for him to get his motherfucking ass over here when he finally shows up with a satisfied grin and she punches him in the face.

"You took her art"

"She traded" he replies with a shrug.

"Yeah, well I'm here to fix it. You can't have her."

They go back and forth and Lexa convinces him to give her back her art, but she trades her own soul for it. She promises to give her soul in exactly one year in exchange for him cancelling Clarke's deal.

She gets one year of happiness with Clarke. Clarke never finds out that Lexa reversed her deal in exchange for herself-- she just thought the deal had a loophole and she could draw lexa. When lexa dies suddenly, unexpectedly, she's devastated. But she has this mass amount of lexa artwork to remember by her and lexa is still immortalized by it but overall everyone is sad.

Option 2:

this one is @butmakeitgayblog evil idea so yell at her instead

Chapters 1-14 and even most of the epilogue are still the same BUT

Clarke gets early onset Alzheimer's and starts to forget Lexa when they're not even that old

Lexa sticks through it because that is the love of her goddamn life but hOLY SHIT does it hurt to be forgotten again

Naturally, the darkness is a fucking asshole and at some point taunts lexa like "I told you they always forget"