#also hold on what do you mean its been a whole ass year since i posted that

[perilegs]

where can i read the woundfucking tho

here you go :3c

[cry4mina]

Take Me Back to Eden - Ascensionism (Part 4)

(Nayeon x Fem!reader)

Take Me Back to Eden - Choke Hold - Part 1

Take Me Back To Eden - Granite - Part 2

Take Me Back To Eden - Aqua Regia - Part 3

Word Count: 8.5k Angst/Angst/Smut Summary: Reader finds out the truth behind what Jihyo and Nayeon has been up to, she takes the steps to become more independent and heal her grief, only to fall back into old habits. TW: Betrayal, suggestive themes, lying, break ups, cheating, manipulative behavior, anxiety, top!reader x Bottom!nayeon, choking, degradation, truthfully its rough sex but anyways, let me know if I missed anything! A/N: After a reasonable amount of requests I decided to continue the series. I also decided to write smut for the first time. Thank you to @saiiidahyunee @neoplatinum and @miinatozakiii for the help/advice for this part! <3 (srsly, this wouldn't have happened without them)

--

“Did she believe you or do we actually need to stop seeing each other?” 

Pulse radiating in every cell of your body, waiting to see if there’s another text from Jihyo. Absolutely baffled as the lie shatters your consciousness, returning you to the jagged spiral you were still reeling from.

It was true. She did this to you. 3 years of deception and it was all happening right under your nose. 

Knees buckling underneath you as you think back to the conversation you had in the kitchen the night prior. 

The tears she shed, the way she spoke…the way she studied your face… She was acting through the whole thing and you believed her. 

“Nothing has happened since, and nothing like this would ever happen again. I wanted to tell you but the person I was then and the person I am now are two completely different people. Even that version of myself would never dream of hurting you in such a way.”

 Stomach churning at the words previously said, fighting back the hatred growing in you. 

‘Please understand that I would do anything to remove this from my past…our past.” 

Nauseously fighting the tears threatening to spill from your eyes, remembering how your skin felt against hers as you slept next to her the night prior and you cringe knowing it was all fake and you had fallen for it. 

Nayeon’s phone vibrates in your hand again, revealing another text from the other responsible party. 

“We can lay low for a little while and let it all simmer down, if that’s easier. But I don’t want to stop being with you.”

As you stare at the screen, truth reflects back onto your face, flashing through your memories with her. Decorating the house on the holidays, her meeting your parents, anniversaries, going out to dinner; Even the small touches to show affection that intertwined themselves into everyday life hardened your exterior as you built your walls back up brick by brick wondering how long they’ll hold up with the digital reinforcement you’ve stumbled upon.   

The need for the truth pokes at your chest while opening the text thread between her and Jihyo. 

———————————Yesterday 11:34 pm——————————

Jihyo: Y/n didn’t seem to believe me when we spoke, I hope she listens to you or we might have a problem. 11:34pm

Nayeon: We might have a problem then 11:35pm

Nayeon: I don’t know if her and I will make it thru this 11:35pm

Jihyo: Do what u can. We will just have to cover our asses if the company finds out we are sleeping together. 11:37pm

Nayeon: It seems like she can’t really make a decision. I put her to bed a little while ago because she was exhausted. 11:38pm

Nayeon: She did bring me dinner last night… 11:38pm

Nayeon: She actually just came to the living room and def only in underwear…I’ll update u in the morning. 11:40pm

Jihyo: Just because she’s the piece that’s keeping the public and our company from finding out doesn’t mean I want to hear stuff like that, Nayeon. 11:42pm

———————————Today 8:12 am——————————

Jihyo: Did she believe you or do we actually need to stop seeing each other? 8:12am

Jihyo: We can lay low for a little while and let it all simmer down, if that’s easier. But I don’t want to stop being with you. 8:14am

Forgetting to blink as you’re reading the thread, in disbelief that you almost gave them the forgiveness they asked for. Caught between the smoke and mirrors, an illusion painted for the public eye to cover the secret that only they knew. 

Screenshot clicks lightly as you send yourself the evidence and delete the pictures from the text thread as well as Nayeon’s phone. You wanted to be able to look back on this and remind yourself that she was responsible, and that you'd never give her another chance. 

Sliding her phone into your pocket, you walk into the bedroom. 

Nayeon is distracted in the bathroom preparing for your morning shower together. Hearing the door of the shower sliding open and the sound of the head sputtering to start. The clashing of the water hitting the tile mimics the storm you felt brewing up inside of you.  

As your rage builds you quickly grab a backpack out of the closet, unintentionally knocking a tote bag down as you pull the straps. Trinkets of all kinds scatter across the floor, you flinch at the sound and look down at the mess before immediately unzipping the bag.

“Is everything okay, baby?” Nayeon yells from the bathroom, it's muffled by the foam of her toothpaste as you hear her spit into the sink.

Body tensing at the pet name, knowing the illusion of the past 3 years was uncomfortable and devastating. 

“Yes. Just dropped something.” You shout back trying to hide the towering rage that is rocking against the winds of change your digital confirmation created. 

 “Okay, my love, I’ll be waiting for you in the shower.” She sings back trying to play cute with you. 

You roll your eyes while shoving the bag full of everything you’d need for the next few days as quickly as possible. Clothes, charger, wallet, important documents, and your laptop. 

Putting on the first pair of pants you see and not even bothering to change out of the oversized sweater you threw on to cover up while you had your morning coffee. 

Quietly running to the dresser to grab some socks, your foot kicks some of the mess left on the floor. Sighing at the annoyance of it being in your way but it slows down enough to see what the contents were. Jewelry you’d never seen, love notes opened with a wax seal, and countless pictures of Jihyo and Nayeon together. 

Frozen in fury as you take in what you’re unintentionally uncovering, a singular tear drenched in anguish falls - the tap on the photo echoing in your ears. Reaching your limit and the overflow of emotions are about to spill out of you in a slurry of misery and hatred.

Grabbing the specific Polaroid of them kissing, tucking it into your pocket with her phone and leaving everything else where it landed. Preparing for the confrontation, knowing she’ll probably try to cover it again. No more running from it and no more hiding from it, you had her cornered with the proof that she was a liar. 

Hopping onto the counter in the bathroom, you waited for Nayeon to realize you’re there. The shower door is slightly open, she left it for your entrance. Opening her eyes momentarily to see you staring back at her, much like most mornings. 

This morning was different though, after the fight you got into that spread out over a week and the information you got this morning; there was a thickness in the air that wasn’t just steam. Almost visible in how it intimately caressed your heart into a conflicted mess of emotions, waging wars inside your chest.  

 “Aren't you gonna join me? I’ve got a blank canvas for you if you’d like to make more art out of me.” She coyly says, winking at you.

 Your cringe is covered by the steam coated glass, repulsed by the thought of this stranger touching you the way she used to. The trust was no longer there. Being past anger, past sadness, and clinging to the numbness so you could get through this conversation. 

Trying to keep your brain on track when Nayeon steps out of the shower and walks towards you, seductively. A thin layer of sweat is starting to appear on your skin as she gets closer to you, you’re trying to talk yourself out of the thoughts of what would happen if you just showered with her and forgot what you found. 

You can’t do that to yourself, you know that. You would never knowingly accept less than you deserve but your heart was fighting you with every step she took towards you.

She puts her wet hands on your thighs, allowing the material to cling to your skin, “why are you wearing these? Just so I can take them off?” Her pupils are wide as she fixates on your face watching you half glare back at her.

 Swallowing as you try to keep yourself from shaking as the numbness wears off and turns to despair and then shifting erratically to pure anger and then back to despair again. The pattern is familiar, you’ve lived it before a few times. Trying your best to conceal the rapidly changing mood and keep a straight face.

 It seems to go unnoticed as she parts your jean clad legs and slides her waist between them wrapping her arms around your neck. Shivering at the warmth of her skin against yours as her fingers lace through the hair on the back of your head, trying to get you to cave into her wants. 

Your body is definitely reacting to her being this close to you the way it always did. The ache in your core screaming at the familiarity but your mind is repulsed. How many times had she done this with Jihyo? 

Not pulling away, allowing her to set herself up, the same way she let you. Leaning into your ear, lips brushing against its shell as she whispers “I’d love to take this off, if you’ll let me.”

“Do you really think you deserve it after what you’ve done?” sternly leaves your mouth. 

Clench her thighs as you speak, she loves when you talk to her that way. Not realizing that your voice is heavy with a different type of malice, not the usual light hearted mask you wear for her when she wants some roughness. 

 Hands come off your neck and slide under the sweater. She’s relieved you don’t have a bra on as she scratches harshly down your back, like she always did during sexually driven moments much like this one, in an attempt to rile you up more. 

It works for a moment, you groan and chase after her lips as she teasingly pulls away from you. Challenging your power and being a brat, refusing what you were asking for to intentionally make things more heated. Two can play that game.

“Close your eyes and hold your hands out.” Softly spoken while only an inch away from her face. Her half lidded eyes looking up at you for a moment. The sparkle for you is still encapsulated in her big brown eyes. 

Immediately listening, placing full trust in you. Removing her from between your legs, you guide her back and against the glass shower door. It rattles on impact as she leans against it, inciting a gasp from her. 

Her hands are up and out, waiting for whatever you had in store for her.  She’s smiling up at you, eyes closed, intrigued about what you’d place in her digits. 

Reaching into your pocket and pulling out her phone and the picture. Looking at them one more time before placing them directly into her hands, almost as an offering, like it’s your ticket out of this mess you unknowingly found yourself in. 

“You can open them now.” Tone leaving little to mystery as it sneers out of you. 

Her brows furrow as she realizes something isn’t right. Nayeon opens her eyes and looks down at what you’ve placed in her hands. Confusion waves across her face until she sees the image of her and Jihyo kissing, staring back at her. Hearing the gasp leave her lips, a deep gust of air is still not enough for Nayeon as she almost starts to panic.

You’re out of the room in seconds, her quickly following behind you, she grabs onto the sweater leaving a wet handprint that matches the ones on your thighs. 

 “Please, let me explain!” she begs frantically and tugs on the sweater harder to try and get your attention while you’re gathering more necessities for your daily routines. 

“Drop the act, Nayeon. I don’t want to hear anymore from you.” Your tone is growing more callous as time goes on. It roughens up the few soft spots she had even if it was entirely her fault you were going through this life changing event.

 Her face shifts from worried to annoyed as you sprint around the room, not bothering to organize anything being placed into the backpack.

“And where are you going to go, huh?” she asks, tilting her head and dropping her arms to her side heavily, allowing her frustration to show for a split second before she remembers she’s still completely naked and dripping wet from the shower on the rug in your bedroom.

Taking a step forward to get in her face, you startle her, not expecting you, soft gentle y/n, to approach her in such a way. Leaning back when you stepped forward but not breaking eye contact. You watch her leg start to bounce as she gets more anxious realizing you were angry in a way she had never seen, fire behind your eyes noticeable as you adjust your stance to show her you weren’t backing down and you were no longer scared to lose her. 

Movement feeling foreign to her as she’s unable to keep calm like the Nayeon you knew of. Backed into a corner and baring her teeth as you confront her about her wrong doings, is an attempt to control the situation and she was about to try an old tactic that had worked previous to this. 

Playing with the belt loops on your jeans, she brings her voice back to the sweet one you used to know,  “Are you just going to keep running away from me? Or can we talk this out? I thought we were okay. I thought we could get past this together” Retorting in a semi-cooled tone. Eyes watering again and the block of ice in your chest is trying to thaw in you as she leans in to put her satin lips on yours for a small second of contact before you avoid the affection, knowing you’d crumble at the act. Not allowing yourself to fall into her grasp again, knowing she was willing to hurt you in an incomprehensible way, and feel no guilt.  

“That was before I saw those texts and before I found the bag of secret Jihyo shit in the closet, Nayeon!” 

Looking down at the phone you handed her to read the message. The realization of what’s happening washes over her face, it couldn’t be played off as a misunderstanding anymore. She had been caught red handed and had to deal with the consequences. 

Nayeon leaned in harder to her act of fake innocence, insinuating that you were in fact the big bad for violating her trust like she wasn’t the one who burnt yours to crisps and used the ashes as eyeshadow.

“Why did you go through my phone?” She crosses her arms, pushing her breasts together. She’s trying to distract you with multiple tactics but it wasn’t working, her act faltering when scrutinized. . 

Extremely angry, your brain couldn’t see her as anything other than an enemy. “Is that really what you’re worried about right now? Our entire relationship was a false front for you and Jihyo and all you can do is try to flip it on me?! …Who made you like this?” harshly asking just trying to understand what she had to gain from hurting you in such a way. 

“You don’t trust me?” Nayeon says sweetly, touching your torso again. Pulling away roughly, unable to  believe it’s even a question she thought would be a good to say out loud, when you both knew what the answer was. 

 “You have been cheating on me for the entirety of our relationship and you have the audacity to ask if I trust you? Fuck you.I gave you the opportunity to be honest with me and you threw it right back in my fucking face, Nayeon!” laying into her, letting out every drop of anger she caused you through your teeth.

“3 years of what?! You completely ruined everything, our entire relationship was fake so you could fuck Jihyo without suspension! So absolutely not, I don’t trust you in any sense of the word.” voice starting to crack as you tear up, “and to think I was actually going to propose to you” letting the sadness of the future lost memories drain out of you onto the person who caused it all. 

Speechless and not believing that the docile person who was head over heels for her could have such venom to spit. A new light is shining down on you as you display your livid behavior. Oddly, even more attracted to you than she already was, she was in a trance as she realized what you said. 

“You were going to…propose?” Quietly said back to you. Her eyes are saddened as she starts to understand the weight of her choices and all the things that will never happen again between the two of you. The guilt cuts deep, creating a sharp sting in her chest as a heart string popped.  

Rolling your eyes and open the drawer in the kitchen that normally is reserved for “junk” to pull out a little black box, slamming it on the counter. “I really wanted to…” allowing yourself to be vulnerable for a moment as she reaches out to open the jewelry box and sees the perfect ring. 

The pear shaped diamond in the middle was huge, with little diamonds laid into a rose gold band. This is how she described her dream wedding ring to you on your 3rd date. You wrote it down in the notes of your phone for the moment you would need it, thinking she was the one. 

Eyes matching the diamonds, sparking with light as they fill with tears. She never thought about how much you paid attention or how well you knew her. Too wrapped up in playing her role with both you and Jihyo to even think that you were set on her being the one you wanted to spend your life with.  

“I need you to tell me how it started. I need to know why.” speaking cold heartedly, keeping the distance between the two of you. 

“...It did start with a drunken night. That was true. I never tho-” She started as she lowered her eyes. 

“Look at me when you’re talking.” deliberately call her out, rattling her a little bit, her face turns red, eye wide as she goes to speak again.

“I never thought that it would go this far with her. I really was genuinely upset when Jihyo told me what happened the first time. I didn’t remember anything at all and then she convinced me not to say anything and then we hung out a few days later and…it happened again but sober this time and it just never stopped. There was no emotion behind it for me, I swear. I love you, not her.” 

A freight train crashes through you as you reel at the information hitting your ears. 

“You don’t get to say that. You don’t get to claim you love me when you’ve been living in a black light paradise with someone else this entire time.” hissing dispassionately to assert your words.

“But two things can be true at once, like you always say…” throwing back at you with a smirk knowing how much your own rhetoric being used on you makes you angry. 

Aggressively grabbing your backpack again and heading towards the door again, once intimidating, now a way to safety as you jerk it open, feening for escape from the heavy atmosphere. Your steps are quick and precise as you make your exit. 

 “I made a mistake, y/n. She’s not you. She will never be you.” Almost shouted at you as one foot stepped over the threshold. 

 “You were the mistake and I hope your guilt drowns you.” 

– 

An anchor pulls your heart to the bottom of the ocean. You told Nayeon to drown but it was you who couldn’t swim. Pulling harshly at your arteries as you sludge towards your car, feeling as if you’re moving in slow motion just trying to escape the shark infested waters.

Remembering this same feeling from before, but this one was much more certain. With the evidence in front of you, the admission from both parties, and the way Nayeon spoke to you- there was no more safety in who she portrayed herself to be. The illusion has smashed into shards of false love, leaving you to pick up the pieces. 

You drive to Momo’s house, not bothering to call before showing up, you don’t think you could speak anymore, your jaw is tense the entire way there to hold everything in. 

Walking up to the door and hitting the door bell, the dogs bark to alert their owners. The locks click open and the door cracks open to reveal a surprised Momo. 

“Y/n, what are you do-“ cutting her off as you collapse into her arms. You kept it together long enough to get to your best friend, but now the dam was broken and unable to contain the pure pain that was born from the cruelness Nayeon showed you.

Momo drags you into the house and sits you on the same couch you slept on days before, sitting next to you and trying to comfort you as you shake and sob, wrapping your arms around yourself trying to create a sense of safety for yourself that couldn’t be torn from you.

“Y/N, what happened?” Momo is so concerned with your inability to calm down, it’s starting to make her upset. 

Dahyun walks into the room, hearing the commotion. The loudness of your sobs ringing in her ears with her heart sinking into her stomach as she sits on the other side of you, joining Momo’s effort to comfort you. 

Shakily breathing as you try to regulate yourself yet again, this time it feels harder than the last because at least last time there was hope. You are only experiencing extreme sadness and betrayal, with a lot of anger mixed in it but there was no hope present.   

Unaware of how long you’ve been crying as Dahyun gets up “I’ll go make up the guest bedroom.” Rubbing your back as she walks past you. 

“Thank you,” you squeak out through your teeth, struggling to calm down. 

Momo has a look on her face that could cut diamonds. Anger radiating off her cheeks as she grabs her phone, taps it a few times and brings it to her ear quickly, she stands and taps her foot waiting for the other person to answer.  

Nayeon is heard on the other side, “is she with you?” 

Momo’s face is repulsed by this considering the state of you in front of her but she answers the question anyway,

 “Yes, what happened? She’s obviously not okay. Tell me what happened.” Momo’s arms are crossed, standing up she shifts her weight from one leg to the other. 

“I don’t know, she just got upset and left”

“Nayeon, I have known you for years.You’re lying. Y/N wouldn’t just show up sobbing uncontrollably for no reason, so tell me what happened or I'm hanging up.” talking with her hands, raising them in a frustrated manner as the lies keep coming.

“Well if she didn’t want to hurt herself she should have gone through my phone.” annoyance present in Nayeon’s tone.

Momo looks over at you, devastated for the second time on her couch pulling your phone out in silence and showing her the text thread screenshots you had taken earlier.

“It’s not as big of a deal as it’s being made out to be.”

“Are you serious right now?” Momo harshly questions as Nayeon continues. 

“Are you going to question Jihyo like you questioned me? Or are we just gonna pretend like she’s not part of this too?” 

The sharpness in her tone was something you had witnessed before but the taste of her name coming out of Nayeon’s mouth was unbearable.

Momo gasps at the new knowledge that has now been thrown at her. Completely statuesque, as she tries to wrap her mind around what Nayeon just said.

 Momo’s eyes look up on your screen to reveal the name at the top of the text thread: Jihyo  

The rush of emotions she was experiencing was overwhelming to her senses, momo’s voice choked with tears as she spoke to Nayeon.

“Wait…what did you just say? J is Jihyo?!” Momo says in complete disbelief, shocked at not only what she’s reading on the screen but by what she was hearing from one of the parties involved.

“Yes. So please call and interrogate her. Can I speak with my girlfriend now?”

“No, you can’t. I am not friends with people who do this type of thing, Nayeon. How could you do this to y/n?” she shouts through the phone, hunched over with a hand on her knee, trying to understand all the pieces of this complicated puzzle.    

Momo, trying to keep the anger she felt under wraps, started pacing in the room taking laps around the couch as she spoke. 

“Nayeon…are you kidding me? How long has this been going on?” Confused was an understatement, Momo was completely overstimulated with the information she was being given. 

 Never noticing the connection between how close Jihyo and Nayeon were, always sharing hotel rooms on tour, finishing each other’s sentences, the looks across the room, Nayeon staying at Jihyo’s house frequently…it was all starting to add up and Momo is seeing red over the pain of her best friend being hurt beyond belief, and by someone who was supposed to be her family. She was just as angry as you were. 

“Momo, I don’t want to do this right now, Can I please speak to Y/n? I’m trying to save my relationship and not be put under a microscope by you.” 

“I can’t believe you would do this. You spoke of Y/n like she moved mountains for you and this is what you’ve been doing behind her back? I’m disgusted with you and your actions…and I’m pretty sure she’s your ex-girlfriend now but you knew that already, didn’t you?” 

Momo hung up quickly, not caring about what Nayeon had to say back to her. More worried about you and your emotional state than anything Nayeon had to say.

 “Did she tell you why or was it her avoiding the question?” inquiring as she took a seat next to you, giving an apologetic look and a bear hug to try to make you feel better. 

“She told me enough for me to want to leave my home, technically she didn’t even tell me, I found a secret bag of Jihyo stuff in our closet with a bunch of pictures of them together, and one shot of them kissing, wax sealed love letters and jewelry.” Voice cracking and shaking as you bite back more emotion. 

Momo gasps as the story unfolds before her, she can’t believe what she’s hearing. It is so polar opposite of what she expected of her members. She always thought they were kind and loving. She imagines what y/n might be feeling in all of this. 

“I am so sorry. Please let me know how I can help you get through this.” reaching for you to pull you into a warm embrace. 

“Well, I’m definitely going to need to find a new apartment so if you want to help me with that I’d be grateful.” half chuckling through some tears, trying to add a little light into the situation. You hated the idea of someone else being upset because of this situation.

“Consider it done” Dahyun walked back in with swollen eyes, sniffling. She probably overheard the argument Momo just had and was reflecting the same amount of empathy as Momo was. 

“We can start tomorrow!”

—

About 3 weeks went by and you were slowly showing signs of your old self. You were going out with friends again, hanging out with Momo a lot, and starting to become present again, no longer constantly seeing the rewind of Nayeon’s innocence faltering behind your eyes. Still receiving texts from Nayeon at least 2 times a day. They served as a reminder of what once was. 

Momo and Dahyun were patient with you, letting you speak with them about the effects this trauma was having on your mental health. It’s always hard to watch your loved ones go through something this difficult but it was obvious that they were proud of how you were handling it, even if it was hard. They were always there to remind you that you could do hard things. 

Finding a 1 bedroom 1 bathroom that was close to Momo and Dahyun’s, signing the lease immediately. It was a slight upgrade to the studio that you and Nayeon occupied previously. The kitchen was bigger, the natural light was brighter, and the bathroom had a large bathtub that you could fully lay down in, which you were looking forward to. 

Spending a week finding the perfect furniture for it, designing the interior however you wanted and making it your own space without someone else’s opinion in the back of your mind was fun. You enjoyed doing this for yourself, fixating on something that had to do with you alone. You felt the ashes from previous ruin sprouting stems as you tried to move on.

You had really been focusing on yourself, trying to resurrect yourself after total devastation. Pulling out the roots, and planting good ones so later on you could reap the benefits. Changing the perspective of your brain was hard, but well worth it.

Being in a better place mentally and emotionally as your sense of stability was so close to being present again, you thought it was time that you continue with the last step of separating from Nayeon.

There was still some stuff you wanted to get back at your old apartment but you didn’t want to run the risk of Nayeon being there. You had no desire to face her, especially while you were still mending. You decided to reach out to her to let her know you’d be coming by to get the rest of your things. 

“Hey, I’m going to stop by today to get my stuff. I’d really like it if you weren’t there.“ You hesitate to hit send, not wanting to come off in a rude way. Quickly realizing how absurd that was and hit send. 

 “So now you reply? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for weeks… are you doing okay?” almost immediately after the message was delivered, like she has been staring at the thread waiting for you to say something. 

“That’s not your concern anymore. What is your schedule like this week? I won’t be long. I’d just like my things, thank you.” you replied with haste, just wanting this to be over. 

“I’ve got something scheduled at 5 today. You can come then if you really don’t want to see me.” 

You can hear the pout over the text message without any hint of it present in the text. This instinctually sparks sadness in you. Biting the inside of your lip and type out a few replies before deciding to just drop it. A wave of the past just flashed in front of you, causing you to fall into loneliness, something you’d fought to keep at bay. 

Checking the clock and it’s already 3pm, you finish up what you’re doing in the living room and take a cold shower before setting out to the apartment one last time.

–

Stepping into the once familiar place, you are hit with the smell of vanilla and sandalwood. “That’s odd” thinking to yourself, wondering if she’s left a candle burning as you walk in, sliding your shoes off by the door. She always forgot to blow them out after lighting them or would fall asleep on the couch with one lit. 

You were right, but with an added twist, the candle was burning in the center of the coffee table flickering against the shadows in the room around you. The flame was blocked out by the shadow of someone on the couch in the dimly lit space. 

“I thought you had schedules.” sighing, irritate at being met with another moment of dishonesty.

“I just needed to talk to you…” she whispers, she had been crying. Hearing it in her voice and seeing it on her face as she turned her back to the candle, taking in your features like it was the first time she’d ever seen you. A  tinge of hope runs through her, your face must be showing sympathy.               

“I needed you to be faithful and that was too much for you so I don’t really want to do any conversing with you.” asserting that you’re completely vexed by her as you walk into the bedroom to gather the rest of the stuff you were taking with you. 

Following you closely, a habit you used to think was cute as she watches you pick up small knick knacks from your childhood, clothes, and some other important tokens left behind. Sorting through every drawer to make sure you got everything, wanting this to be the last time you’re in the once shared life.    

Almosting touching you with how close her proximity was, she wondered if you’d give her some of your time so she could plead for you to stay when you finally spoke up. 

“Can you stop hovering so I can do what I need to and leave?” 

“Can you just talk to me for a second?” Nayeon replied equally annoyed and choked up as she watched you tuck all she had left of you away. 

Turning around to face her, “Fine! What do you want?” 

You’ve never shown her such apathy, the emptiness that rings in your voice hollows her chest out as she takes a few steps forward, you are surprised by the sudden closeness when she leans in and kisses you roughly. 

You gasp which leaves an opening for her to slide her tongue into your mouth, the neediness pouring out of her drenches you with adrenaline and you slowly succumb to her as she bites your lower lip and tugs gently. The world stops.

Every ounce of love you ever felt for this person came slithering back into your mind for a split second, followed by anger as you remind yourself of the betrayal. 

You can’t believe she’s just throwing herself at you. Body reacting exactly how you would expect when your recent ex partner kisses you like this, the familiarity of her hands on your body sends jolts of comfort and excitement through you and you aren't strong enough to fight the primal urge. 

Trailing her hand up your back under your sweater while keeping you distracted with her mouth and sinking her nails into your shoulders, dragging them slowly down your back, causing you to lean into the kiss even more, moaning into her mouth as she smiles. 

Falling into the trap she was setting and you knew it. 

Hands slowly find their place on her waist, she kisses your jaw whispering sweet nothings into your skin. 

“Baby, please stay” she lays another kiss farther down your jaw

“I know you missed this” laying another kiss

“You are always so hungry for me…show me”

She ghosts her lips up and returns to yours as she kisses you passionately, revealing pure lust as she grips onto you. Bringing your hands up to cup her face, allowing yourself to get lost in the breathy haze, heart pounding as you feel your body temperature rise, effects of the love that once was and the lust that now is. 

Spiraling in the dizzying moment,you and Nayeon sink into each other, closeness returning as you’re swept away by the intense feelings you’re both harboring. Hands are exploring as you fumble around, not allowing space between you as you both collapse onto the bed, hungirly taking each other in as you gain control, Nayeon is lost in the essence of you and it was your turn to hold the power.  

In addition to getting on top of her, you place your knee between her legs- just enough out of reach so that she couldn’t get a good position on it. You were going to give her this moment to remember and you were going to make her earn it.

The heat emanates off her as you rip off your sweater tossing it aside. She’s looking up at you like you put the moon in the sky as you reach your arm around and unhook your bra, letting the straps slide down your arms slowly, her eyes wide with anticipation as you remove it, throwing it on top of the sweater. 

Nayeon’s hands reach up, eyes darkened as she tries to touch you when you slam her hands back down into the softness of the sheets, pinning her to the mattress forcefully above her head, glaring into her with white hot anger.  

“No,” as you hold her in place, your body pressed against hers, faces close enough to feel each other's quickened breath. Nayeon sees the flash of spite in your eyes as you press your mouth on hers, it makes her ache while she is refracting desperation, subtly grinding on your thigh as she lets your tongue dance with hers.

Pulling back from the kiss to admire the sight before you; Nayeon is anchored to the bed by your hands, whimpering and grinding on your leg practically begging for you to fuck her. 

Faces return close enough for your lips to lightly graze, teasing her as you remind her where you stand, “Tell me… does Jihyo excite you like this or is this only for me?” with a sultry nuance. She squirms underneath you as you taunt her, her eyes flickering down to your thigh as she tries to grind into you to get some friction to satiate the ache you’re creating within her, only for you to pull your knee back just enough so she can’t reach it. 

 She whines “y/n…please, it’s only yo-” getting up before getting the full answer and dragging her legs to the edge of the bed letting them bend over the edge, pulling her shirt off frantically, exposing her tits. 

 The knot in her stomach tightens as she watches you become completely carnal, continuing toying with her. Lightly tracing her chest with your finger before you kissed her again, this time more aggressively as if you are claiming what had been yours. She groaned into it, always loving when you got like this, you’re ghosting your finger along the waistband of her sweats as you pull back from the kiss again and attacking her neck leaving a trail of dark marks down to her chest. 

“She’ll have to admire my artwork for the next week and I hope she enjoys it” leaving bite marks and bruises as you descend down slowly.

You take one of her nipples into your mouth and swirl your tongue around it, you can hear her breathing hitch as you roughly pinch the other one. Without letting go of her bud between your fingers you detach your mouth and slide your other hand up to Nayeon’s throat, lightly squeeze and ask “Does Jihyo fuck you like the slut you are? Or does she leave you for me to ruin?” 

Nayeon let out a wail as the words cascaded off your tongue, completely bewildered at what is happening right now as she feels the intoxication of your agitated demeanor wash over her while she grows impatient. Pushing back and trying to take the power from you when you mimic your prior movements and slam her down on the bed, letting her know that wasn’t going to happen.

“Don't. Move.” Stoically said while standing up, sliding her pants and underwear off to reveal a string of arousal clinging to the fabric and the soaked mess that she was. She was already clenching around nothing. 

“Pathetic.” You smirk. 

“Does she ever make you this wet?” as you part her lips with one hand, gathering her arousal at her entrance with your finger, and slowly bring it up to your mouth, sucking it clean. She rolls her hips up at the sensation, body screaming for more. 

“I told you not to move.”

Nayeon whines loudly, “Please, Y/n…touch me��� begging for some continuous form of contact and being sure not to move while your stand above her watching as tears well up in her eyes. 

“...so needy… does she make you beg for it like this?” the words daunting as they snake out. 

“You’re so good at lying, I’m sure she thinks you belong to her.” 

“What was it that you said earlier?” following up slyly while lowering yourself between her legs, knees on the floor and arms are wrapped around her thighs, with hands planted on her hips keeping them in place. 

“You’re always so hungry for me…” breathing out as you traces patterns on her lower stomach and bring your face closer to her pussy, 

“…show me” she sighs out as you dive down into her folds, moaning intensely as you tangle yourself between her legs. She feels you devouring her sloppily, not leaving a single place unexplored as she tries to buck her hips into your mouth.

Nayeon is seeing stars as past experiences flood back into memory, senses heightened as you consume her more possessively than usual. She loves this version of you. 

Hands holding onto her so tightly as you start sucking on her clit, she squirms under your grip, squealing at the erratic pattern traced with the tip of your tongue before giving her the rhythm she craved so desperately. 

Nayeon’s breathing gets heavier as you stick to the pace you know she likes, building her up to where you wanted her. The moaning gets louder as you continue lapping at her, hands go up to your hair, locking you in place as you bring her as close to the edge as possible. 

Hearing her high pitched whines and feeling her pussy clench around nothing, completely stopping everything that you are doing.  

“Wha?!-..” she let out a groan that could’ve shattered windows as you stood before her, watching her react to the orgasm being ruined. 

“Why would you do that?!” she groaned out, squeezing her legs together again. You lightly smack her thigh, telling her without words not to. The slap radiates through the room and leaves a small red hand print displayed. 

Enjoying the blissful anguish on her face as you licked the evidence right off your mouth while removing your pants and underwear. Getting on the bed, straddling her, wetness visible as it drips off of you, she looked up at you with wanting eyes, hips still rutting, and knowing exactly where this was going.

“Did you really think I’d give you what you wanted so easily?” you start scooting up so that your knees are on either side of her head, a mere inch from her face.

“You’ll have to earn it.” Leaning forward and head between your legs, tongue out already anticipating the taste of you. 

A gasp echoes in your chest as she licks the inside of your thighs, making sure not to waste a drop of you before taking one big slow lick up your slit, doing that several times, causing you to thrust into her more before attaching her lips to your clit and finding the rhythm she knew you wanted. 

Drowning in her all over again as you feel the knot in your stomach stir, you need more from her but she wasn’t going to give you that right away.

“Naye- ..fuck, just like that -on” you whine her name, slowly start to fuck her face. 

“More.”  Demanding breathlessly, feeling your release building throughout your body, muscles tightening as she shakes her head no, trying not to remove her mouth from you.

“Nay-“  a guttural moan stops you mid sentence, knowing what she wanted from you. 

“Baby…please, I need you” pleasure all consuming, you’re aching for her inside of you.

Before you can ask again, a long finger slides into your core and starts pumping forward to hit your g-spot a few times before adding another finger. 

Another loud moan, as you steadily rock your hips against her mouth, building on the list you were already feeling. Close to breaking, you feel one of her hands slide up to your chest and start tugging on your nipple, that’s what sends you over the edge. 

Throwing your head back as your breath quickens, grinding against her face, with a death grip on her hair. Shaking on top of her as your orgasm rips through you, she keeps going, letting you ride it out. 

“Good girl,” you say breathly as you scoot back to straddle her hips again, body feeling like static as you come down. 

Catching your breath while looking at her cum covered face, you know you aren’t finished with her just yet. Leaning up to you, wrapping her arms around you and kissing you. Tasting yourself on her as you pull her arms off of you.

“I missed the way you taste.” she cooed as you stood up again, half wobbling as you were still recovering. 

“Didn’t I say not to move?” sternly rolls off your tongue, her eyes widen as you push her back down roughly and spit directly onto her pussy. Not that you needed the extra lube, you spread it around her entrance before slamming 2 fingers into her.

“Fuck, Y/n…” she moans as you pump your fingers quickly into her, feeling how wet she is from the orgasm you stole. She thrusts harshly, forcing your digits deeper into her.

“You don’t cum until I say you can.” growled at her from between her legs - peering up to see her face, eyes clamped shut as she leaked out onto the sheets - impatiently waiting for you to stimulate her in some way. 

You can’t help but torture her a little. 

“Does Jihyo make you wet like this? Or is she a shit replacement fuck when I’m not around”

She doesn’t even hear what you’re saying while she’s writhing underneath you, completely fucked out and trying to focus on not cumming while you’re toying with her. Your mouth finds its way to her clit causing a frantic moan to rip through her chest, hands pulling at the sheets as she holds everything back.

“Ca- can I cum please?” She screeches between moans, nodding your head back to her while keeping the same circular motions going with your tongue on her clit, picking up the pace of the fingers inside her as she screams out - back arching, body tense, and clenching down on your fingers as she cums, gushing all over your hand. 

Trying to take a breath, she squeals because you never stop fucking her at a relentless pace; she’s immediately back to moaning your name. 

“Baby, What are yo-” words cut off as she loudly moans, giving her a second to try and finish the sentence. 

“Use your words” as you pick up the pace even more, holding her down onto the mattress with your left hand on her hip, pounding your fingers into her. 

Unable to speak coherently, almost screaming as she tries to formulate sentences. 

“You wanted to cum so bad, so give me another one.” Answering the question she couldn’t ask while snapping into her g-spot, bending down to put your lips on hers again, giving her a taste of herself as she moans into your mouth, unable to hold back from the feeling of being over-stimulated. 

She feels the tension inside her forming again, threatening to burst at any moment when you lean over to ghost your lips over her ear. 

“I bet Jihyo doesn’t make you cum like this.” Violent combustion dispels from her body as she tenses underneath you, screaming into your mouth and sinking her claws into your back while riding out her orgasm.

Both of you lay on the bed, attempting to catch your breath. She rolls over to you, and tries to curl up in your arms but you get up before she can get too comfortable.

“Baby, where are you going? Sleepily stated while staying on the bed.  

Silence as you put your underwear back on.

“Hello?” 

Silence as you slide your pants on 

“…are you leaving?” She says in a sad tone, leaning up on her elbows, watching you put your shirt on and gather all the stuff you came to get. 

“Yup.” 

She is in complete disbelief as you walk out of the bedroom door, hearing you put your shoes on in the kitchen and then hearing the door open. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?…what is that on your neck?” heard from the kitchen. Nayeon’s eyes widen as she realizes the time and the plans she made…with Jihyo. 

“I don’t really think she will be much use to you tonight but you’re more than welcome to try.” You say condescendingly to Jihyo as she stares at you about to walk out. 

“Oh, by the way” , turning your head to her as you open the door.

“I hope you like the way I taste. Enjoy.” smiling at her as you walk right out of the apartment. She stares at the front door in disbelief as she’s figuring out her next move, now in a similar position to where you were.

“Nayeon!” screamed loud enough for you to hear while you’re walking toward the elevator. Not even being able to help the smirk across your face knowing she’s about to get an earful. Laughing to yourself as you call the elevator.

-

Starting the ride home, you think about exactly what just happened. Unable to believe you allowed yourself to fuck Nayeon and act like that towards Jihyo. Thinking about it not with regret, but with a blend of malice and sadness. They were both important to you, previously but that’s reality anymore.

Looking into the rearview mirror at the complex behind you, almost a far-well glance for you as your phone vibrates in your pocket. 

Pulling it out to see Jihyo’s name across the top and hit the end button, sending her straight to voicemail. She calls again, same response. The third time your phone vibrates, you answer it 

“Can you stop calling me? I obviously don't want to talk to you.” sounding heavily annoyed. 

“…Y/n?” A familiar softness rings on the other line as you look at the phone number that isn’t saved.

“Oh…uhm, sorry…I thought this was Jihyo. I don’t have this number saved in my phone…”

“That’s alright” a small chuckle follows, “It’s Mina.”

"Mina?"

---

Take me Back to Eden - The Summoning - Part 5

[cakerybakery]

Adam wiped the sweat from his brow and fixed the wrap holding their newest addition to the family. Little Rachael didn’t make a peep in her sleep. He went back to tilling the soil.

From the brush nearby came the sounds of swearing and snapping twigs. He watched curiously to see who would pop out.

Falling face first into the freshly turned soul was Lucifer.

He just kept himself from stabbing the bastard.

Lucifer groaned and pushed himself up onto his hands and knees. “Fucking, fuck, fuck! Stupid fucking thorny ass plants.”

“Whatever you’re here for, fuck off.” Adam went back to work.

“Ugh, fuck you too. I just-“ Lucifer paused and groaned as he held his head like he was trying to think. “News, someone came to hell and I wanted to confir-“ Lucifer stared up at him and Rachael. “Holy shit. It’s true. You have kids. How?”

Adam snorted. As if the fucker didn’t know. “Well, when a mommy and daddy love each other-“

“Fuck off. I know how! I just mean, how? It’s been like five days since Eden.” Lucifer got up with a limp and tried to wipe the dirt from his significantly shorter robe. “How do you have kids already?”

“Five-? It’s been fifty years. Rachael is our tenth child.” Adam had to stop working and watch the conflicting emotions play over Lucifer’s face.

He tugged on his hat and paced. “But-“

Lucifer seemed to be trying to think. Adam had never seen the once creative and intelligent angel struggle so hard before he simply stopped and stood limply.

“I really am loosing track of time now too. Lilith said I was, but- it felt like yesterday she said that but-“ he gasped suddenly. “Your son! That was the news. Cain. He came to hell. I didn’t believe him when he said he was your son. I had to come up and see… How long have I been trying to do that?”

“Lucifer?” Adam wasn’t sure he should. But he reached out.

Lucifer flinched away from the touch. “Don’t! I- what if it corrupts you? I’m loosing everything Adam. My fucking mind is, there’s something wrong. I can’t keep track of things anymore. I just make the same things over and over. And forgetting things.” He wavered. “Did I say that already?”

Adam tried to speak. What happened between them was a long time ago. They were young and dumb. It still upset him at times but it wasn’t- right now an old friend seemed hurt and Adam wanted to help. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Kill me.” Lucifer shook his head, as if he was trying to clear out the cobwebs. “You can’t now. But one day. Destroy hell. Use angelic steel. It’ll release us. Find the first apple and kill its core. Set hell free. Never tell heaven. Hell is supposed to be eternal punishment but if you free the souls they’ll be reborn and have another chance.” Lucifer winced and grasped at his skull. “It’s getting hard to think again.”

Lucifer smiled, “hey buddy. What are you doing here?”

“… You came to visit me.”

“Oh?” Lucifer looked around and frowned. “Right. Why, why did I do that?”

“Cain is in hell.”

“Oh yeah! Who’s Cain again?”

Adam shook his head, “not important right now. What can you tell me about angelic steel?”

Lucifer winced, “nasty stuff. Don’t touch it. It cleaves a soul. Most people think that that it means it destroys a soul. But cleave has two meanings. It also means to put something back together. A broken soul would be fixed by angelic steel, a whole soul broken by it. Why?”

“No reason. You should probably go home. I bet Lilith misses you.”

He lit up. “It’ll be good to see Lilith! Do you know where in the garden she is?”

Adam felt his heart break a little. Lucifer didn’t seem to know they were on Earth. “I’ll help you look for her.”

There was nothing he could do today. But one day. Maybe he’d be able to set his friend free.

[lycanlupins]

SFW Alphabet - Jimmy Darling

Warnings: None

AN: holy shit its been so long since i’ve written for the evan characters, sorry if its ooc but i missed this guy ♥️

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He’s very physically affectionate! He’ll hold his partner whenever he can, rub the back of their hand with his thumb, anything he can do to constantly be touching them.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He would probably be wary at first if they weren’t a “freak”, but he would soon seen them at every show or nearly every show and start to chat them up a bit. He knows they don’t treat him any different and he’d probably let his guard down.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

BIG cuddler! He likes to spoon or cradle his person for sure. He’d probably give little back rubs or soft kisses on their temple/top of the head.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He’s so domestic its actually probably annoying to everyone else. He wants to settle down, have kids, live the “american dream” life. Even if he adopts the kids, he wants the whole white picket fence and golden retriever vibes.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He would tell them gently but firmly. He knows its for the best, what with everyone in any town hating him for the way he looks, and maybe he knew that his partner wouldn’t have thrived living with the rest of them.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He’s down for commitment 100%. He’d probably take some convincing but about half a year at the very most would be how fast he’d get engaged, he’s an old school kind of guy. He sees something he likes and he’s gonna make sure he keeps it close by.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He pretends to be a hard ass but he’s really a softie. He wants to be loved and held and coddled just as much as he loves to do that for others.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He’s got a solid hug for sure. Probably warm and inviting but also one that shows he’s a safe space and a protector.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He’d say it so fast if he were drunk. Give him a bottle and he’d tell his partner after a few weeks of dating, but sober it might take him a month or two. He wants to make sure his partner is the one.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Big jealous man alert!! He’s one to hold his partner extra tight to him or kiss them around someone he’s a wee bit cautious of. He gets extremely jealous around people without a deformity flirting with his partner.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

They range from soft and sweet to passionate and hungry, but mostly they lie somewhere in between. He likes to kiss his partners hand a lot but he absolutely melts when his partner does the same for him. Especially when he’s feeling anxious, a soft kiss to his palm will soothe him immediately.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He’s good around children and wants them in the future, at least 2 to start, maybe 3-4 at the most.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Usually he’s up early doing physically intensive work but sometimes he likes to sleep in and hold his partner in the soft morning light.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Usually watching TV if he has one, if not he likes to relax with the radio quietly playing in the background and his partner by his side with cold beer in his hand.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’s not an open book by any means. He’s cautious for a reason but after a few months he’ll probably start to open up emotionally. He won’t trauma dump immediately but you’ll learn a lot very quickly once he’s comfortable.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He’s not super patient, he has a quick temper and he’ll make sure he gets his point across whether the person likes it or not.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He takes in details super easily so he’d remember everything his partner tells him. He’d remember their favorite flower, favorite book, anything that makes them smile he would be sure to take note of.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment is probably meeting his partner. He would remember every detail of their outfit, if they were wearing makeup, what style their hair was in, he’d reminisce on every detail of that day when he’s feeling sad.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He would die or kill for his partner no questions asked. He puts his money where his mouth is but doesn’t expect the same out of his partner, he just wants to be sure they know he loves them through and through.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He puts in a lot of effort, mostly physical labor, to make sure everything is perfect. He likes to work with his hands to show his love. Whether that be making something for his partner or driving them anywhere without letting them lift a finger, he wants to be sure they’re taken care of.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

His drinking habits he picked up are bad for a while. He also has an awful temper and he’s stubborn. So very stubborn.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He knows he’s hot so he keeps up with it a little but really he just goes about his day without paying any mind to it.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He would feel so incomplete without his partner once he has them. Its like he’s missing half of himself without them around.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He’s a sleep talker! Especially when he’s only half asleep or just barely fell asleep, he’d probably whisper cute or incoherent things to his partner which would make them giggle.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Someone who’s a sloppy drunk. He’s dealt with it enough from his own bloodline, he doesn’t need to add any more of it to his life.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He sleeps sprawled out on his mattress unless he’s with his partner, then it can go either way with his partner curled up in his arms or laying on top of him with his arms wrapped around them.

[sparklingmineraltequila]

American Wasteland

Note: Finally, a Cassandra POV. Sorry that it's a tiny bit shorter but I have had one of most emotionally traumatising weeks of my life. Don't worry, next chapter I'm back on my shit with smut and all.

Warnings: 18+, drugs, alcohol, sex work, references to past abuse, domestic violence

Hot afternoons can feel like an impending scream. It's the mundanity about them that has always killed Cassandra. All the filth and despair of wide, yawning night with its neon lights and hookers on pavements and aching solitude is manageable; at least she can focus her misery on something concrete. But these baked afternoons, when the hours bleed into one amalgam of humming fans and beading sweat, plunge her into a white hot light of clarity at just how fucking sad she is. She's indulging herself too. Has been for the past three fucking hours, doing nothing but picking at her nail beds and staring at a stack of Crash's books against the wall and studying them. He dog-ears his pages, she already knows that, and from here she can see that he cracks the spines too, not surprising. Cassandra quickly pushes down the bubbling sentimentality she feels at the closeness of Crash in those simple acts. Harder still when thinking about those ice blues eyes, the absent minded twisting of a wedding band that's no longer there but the memory of an ex-wife that Cassandra knows nothing about but her name, that oily scent of tobacco on his fingers when he pushes them past her lips. The trailer door opens and he comes in: Crash holding a pharmacy bag,

'You're up,' he states, not daring to make eye contact after what transpired last night. Cassandra thinks it's the first sheepishness she's ever seen cross the stoic lines of his face. She doesn't reply.

'I got you some aspirin,' he continues, setting the bag next to the bed, regarding her for a moment longer which she returns with a glacial look.

'I don't have to talk to you,' Cassandra deadpans, not even bothering to sit up.

'I know,' Rust returns, with an equal frostiness that sends Cassandra into indignant fury.

'How dare you take that mild-ass tone with me,' she spits, now shifting to sit up, 'I got fucking drugged and fucked and then made a complete goddamn fool of myself spewing my guts on the side of the road like some fucking teenager.'

'You are a teenager.'

'I'm twenty fucking years old.'

'Oh you think that a couple months, some cussing and hard-ass attitude means you ain't a teenager. You've still got your goddamn baby hairs, Cassandra.'

He's right and it makes her sick. All the things that she's done to shed that oppressive sheath of girlhood to become a woman. Woman: the word always seemed glossy and unattainable to Cassandra. Fuck if she didn't practice at whatever she thought it entailed: learning how to properly inhale, switching from tights to stay-ups, conditioning herself to like beer by forcing herself to order Blue Ribbons when she went out. It would also mean a whole new type of navigation in her relationships with men; the idea of sex now lingering behind every exchange. Sex. It's what has practically defined her life since she went through puberty. Who to do it with, who not to, how to use it, how to make that biker think you want him without ending with your head bashed against the stage when he realises you don't. Cassandra has learnt to keep her desire and attraction to a minimum. Like with dope dealers, the dumbest shit you can do is get addicted to what you sell. Then Crash came along and fucked up her whole plan. In and out of stripping, pay for rent and save up for student debt, get away from dad and stay alive and sane. But no, not since that night that he came in that year ago, hair starting to turn from that golden to the caramel brown that it is now and cut surprisingly short for a biker. He'd sat with Ginger and a few other of the Iron Crusaders, nursing a Lone Star with a look. far more terrifying than the feral cruelty behind his companions' eyes: ice cold impassivity. A man with nothing to lose has a degree of violence to him allowed by his complete detachment to anything and anyone. Cassandra knew this and yet still locked eyes with him every time she saw him watching her on stage. Never a lap dance, though. She'd tried once and his disgust had made her feel smaller than any of the copious insults dolled out by her father,

'No.' Crash had said firmly, pushing her off with a surprising gentleness.

'It's fine, y'know. It's my job,' Cassandra had tried to reassure him, sitting next to him. He'd turned to look at her and had asked,

'How old are you?'

That had made her arch her eyebrow,

'19. Why? You like 'em older?'

To a less observant person, Rust's jaw muscle twitching would've gone unnoticed,

'Yeah, I do,' he'd said, shoving a twenty dollar bill in her panties' waistband, Cassandra noticing how he'd chosen to place it on her hipbone, 'Clear off, baby.'

'Want me to send over Rose? Red-head, real pretty.'

As Cassandra had said this, a burly Iron Crusader had called her name from across the club, making her turn,

'Yeah, baby?'

'Come bring that pretty, lil' ass over to daddy's lap,' the man had slurred, making Cassandra wince and start to head in his direction. That was until Rust had grabbed her wrist, halting her,

'Easy, Thunder,' he had called over to his fellow Crusader, 'I haven't decided whether to take this one for a spin, yet. She any good?'

'The best, Crash,' Thunder had cackled back, raising his beer in salute to him. With that, Crash had pulled her down into the booth next to him, lighting and a cigarette with complete disregard towards a confused Cassandra perched next to him. When she'd tried to straddle him again, he'd pushed her off,

'Listen, I have a quota to make so do you want a fucking lap dance or not?' She had huffed with a slight agitation in her voice that she hadn't yet learned how to conceal. In those days, she was hungry for it: money, sex, attention, security. Too hungry to learn how to manage it when it spilled over and tinged her tone in desperation.

'What's your quota?' Rust had asked through an exhale of smoke, seemingly uninterested.

'Around 50 dollars, at least.'

He'd arched his eyebrow at her,

'You tryin' to do one over me?'

'I'm desperate, not stupid. If I was trying to scam someone, I'd have picked some liquored up truck driver who hasn't gotten some since Missouri,' Cassandra had stated dryly, making Rust's lip quirk up momentarily.

'50 dollars, at least, by the end of your shift, huh?' he'd drawled, cigarette pinched between his fingers.

'Yeah.'

'What time's your shift end?'

'About another hour.'

'How much money are you on?'

'Straight floor work? About 40.'

Rust had reached into his back pocket and pulled out a tattered, leather wallet before putting down 5 ten dollar bills,

'50 but you stick with me until you're done.'

Cassandra had eyed the bills with suspicion and Rust dryly stated,

'Don't be an idiot, Cassandra. Take the fuckin' money and just sit your ass down.'

'You know my name?'

He had jerked his head towards a huddle of Iron Crusaders in another booth,

'You're popular.'

'Oh.' she'd nodded, slightly deflated by the implications. Rust had picked up on the tinge of shame in her eyes,

'Ain't no shame in it, baby.'

'You don't have to be nice about it.'

'I ain't nice.'

Cassandra had regarded him for a moment longer, thrown off by his apparent self-discipline,

'So, you're stuck with me for an hour. What do you wanna do?' she'd asked, tucking her knees onto the booth. Rust had barely spared her a sidelong glance,

'What're you drinking?'

'Jack and coke.'

He'd scoffed at that,

'You're nineteen.'

'And you're a biker running meth so who's breaking the law more, here?'

That had gotten a proper look from Rust, almost turning his head in her direction before handing his glass,

'How's straight whiskey?'

Cassandra had taken the glass from him and taken a straight gulp while being watched by an impassive Rust,

'What's your name, baby?' she asked in a saccharine tone, a slight tilt to her head.

'Drop the act.'

'I don't have a fucking act. This is how I talk.'

Rust had hummed at that,

'Crash.'

'Crash, huh?'

'Yeah. Crash,' Rust had replied, fixing her with a cold stare. Cassandra had nodded, slightly intimated,

'Ok, Crash.'

A schoolgirl crush had morphed into a worrying codependency that had left her strewn on his mattress, in a semi-catatonic state. Worst part is: Cassandra cannot bring herself to hate him. The sickest part of her is even hoping that he kind of finds her attractive like this: at her rawest, most ugly state. She doesn't know how much longer she can keep the jig up; this near constant state of self surveillance is weighing on her heavily and this lacquer of practiced indifference is eroding. Fast. Even now, as Crash places a glass of water, a carton of Marlboro Golds and a bag of those plasticky powdered donuts by the mattress, she can feel her resolve faltering; trying to ignore the small disappointment that he cares so little to concede her her cigarettes. The grit in her wants to right-hook him hard and run away from this place, but she can't and she won't. She doesn't have anywhere left to run and the humiliation of having to ask to crash with one of her fancy college friends gnaws at her. She notices him staring at her, crouched by the mattress. Burying her head in the pillow, she mumbles,

'Stop it. Please stop it cause, I swear to god, that I'll cry if you don't.'

'Cry, then,' Rust mutters, 'Ain't no shame in it.'

'Yes, there is. A lot. Crash, I'm-I'm a whore,' Cassandra chokes out in a sob.

'Hey-Hey, you never fuckin' say that ever again. You hear?' Rust says, voice raising slightly as he clasps her jaw with his hand, 'What happened last night was me, all me. You were high out of your fuckin' mind and, even if you weren't, you couldn't had said no if you wanted to.'

'But I liked it.'

Rust ignores the heat that pools in his gut at those words,

'That don't make no fuckin' difference.'

Cassandra brings her hands to her face, trying to conceal her tear streaked cheeks. A futile endeavour, given the heaves of her sobs,

'It ain't even that. I've been a stripper since I was eighteen. Eighteen, Crash. What the actual fuck is wrong with me?!'

'You were a desperate, little girl with a daddy who beat her and no other choice in this cesspit of a fuckin' world other than to strip for men like me.'

'Not for men like yo-'

'Yes, Cassandra. For men like me. Stop making fuckin' excuses, you're smarter than that,' Rust borderline snarls, her chin still grasped in his hand as he shakes it slightly, emphasising his words.

Cassandra stares at him for a moment before she gives Rust the type of embrace that she hasn't given since she ran up to the police officer who pulled up, just as her dad burst out of the house with the jagged end of a bottle of malt liquor in hand. She buries her nose between the seam of his leather jacket and his faded t-shirt, inhaling deeply: sweat, Camels, beer, faint scent of deodorant. She moves her head up to thank him in the only way she knows how to and starts to kiss his neck. Rust gently grasps her shoulders to pull her away,

'Not now, baby. Tomorrow but not today.'

'I can-'

'You ain't in the right state of mind. I can see it. You ain't my Cass, right now. You're that scared little girl tryin' to reconcile the fact that her daddy has hit her for the first time and that it ain't gonna be the last.'

Cassandra flinches at that,

'Why the fuck would you bring that up?'

'To remind you that you should be scared.'

'Of you?'

'Of any man.'

Cassandra eyes him narrowly as he stands up,

'You heading out?'

'I'll be back, tonight.'

'Can you hand me a book?'

'Which one?'

'Something relatively chill.'

Rust goes to his stack against the wall, runs his hand down and stops at a book before lifting up the ones above it and slotting it out. He hands it to her,

'First bit of philosophy I ever read. I think most of what he preaches is placid bullshit but it ain't too intense a read.'

Cassandra takes The Stranger from Rust's hand and briefly flicks through the pages before landing at the first one. She squints to read some pen scrawl,

Houston, 1987,

For all those sleepless nights and to kickstart those philosophy courses that you've been mentioning,

From Claire to Rust

Cassandra's head snaps up, brow furrowing. She recognises one name, not the other. Her voice is gelid as she ask,

'Who the hell is Rust?'

[dansevilpianotea]

what are some phancoded songs?

hiiii omg thanks for the ask!! i absolutely love talking about songs i associate with my interests!! (autism has been activated to the highest degree so this will be a long post, you have been warned)

here are some of what i think are classic dnp coded songs:

Guys by The 1975 (i see this as more about the phandom than about dnp tbh but its very very dnp coded no matter how you interpret it) That's So Us by Allie X Still into You by Paramore The Only Exception by Paramore

i have a whole ass 100 song long playlist about dnp but let me give you my favourites that aren't the usual classics:

Eighteen by Pale Waves

This city depresses me But you try to be everything I need We sat on the corner kissing each other Felt like I could finally see in colour I was 18 when I met you Poured my heart out, spilt all my truth I finally felt like I could feel for the first time When I met you

i mean????? thats 2009 dan and phil????? dip and pip??? hello!!??

also fun fact!!: this band is from manchester and this song was written by their non-binary drummer and lesbian lead singer (who lowkey gives lesbian version of dan). you should rlly listen to pale waves. idek if theyve heard of dnp but theyre true phannies to me.

Starlight by Muse

this song, man. never heard of muse until i got into dnp and then i this song was the first one is listened to.

Hold you in my arms I just wanted to hold You in my arms

i feel like it says sth about the expectations of being in a relationship while also presenting yourself on a massive public platform. wanting to be authentic and produce content^tm vs. being closeted and wanting to protect your relationship. 'I will be chasing a starlight, Until the end of my life, I don't know if it's worth it anymore'. Is worth it to constantly push the content out while feeling like a fraud for being inauthentic about your identity? 'And our hopes and expectations, Black holes and revelations'. the future may seem very dark and hopeless sometimes, it may not turn out how we expect or hope, but only once we face instead of fight it (embrace the void etc) we will forgive our past selves and see that the future really is bright. so yes, very dnp coded.

Anniversary by Autoheart

Years of nothing have subsided We have fixed each other up Giving you up? What are you on about? I'll never give up believing in us Giving you up? Now why would I do a thing like that? No I’m not giving you up, no way I will never stop when it comes to you

this song is not only dnp coded (kind of an october 19th theme song) but also has gained a new meaning since the return of dnp games <3. they didnt give up on us. they came back. and we really helped each other get here <3. think about it like that when listening and i guarantee you will be sobbing. the song also has some marriage themes bc theres wedding vows during the bridge so i will just let you live with that <33

Where the Lines Overlap by Paramore

Tracing patterns across a personal map And making pictures where the lines overlap No one is as lucky as us We're not at the end but oh, we already won Call me over And tell me how Well, you got so far Never making a single sound I'm not used to it But I can learn

we werent ready for their comeback / we're still learning to get used to it / just look at them / boiling frog theory / hard phaunch / do i need to say more

Yellow by Coldplay

this song became part of my playlist when phil didnt know a single coldplay song. unfortunately i cant take it serious anymore after dan was turned into a golden pig, then was literally glowing golden during a book event all while #pissyourself4dan was trending and every phannie on twt made their pfps yellow. i will curse your mind to with the lyrics and mental imagery: (im sorry but im also not bc this is how my autism thinks humour works)

Look at the stars Look how they shine for you And everything you do Yeah, they were all yellow ✨✨ Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones Turn into something beautiful ✨✨✨ And you know, you know I love you so 💛

✨✨✨

(im sorry again)

Safe & Sound by Tonight Alive

Dan in BIG: "for the first time since I was a tiny child I actually felt safe."

Nothing compares to what we share I don't have a care in the world Cause even if it all came crashing down, As long as you're around, I'll be safe and sound. 🧡

ending it with a nice one because its beautiful and sappy and its so them afterall. they really won rpf.

thank you for this ask, i enjoyed answering it!! (im sorry for taking so long. im on day 11 of a cold so ive not had much energy.)

[duhragonball]

Phantom Blood Liveblog JJBA ch.1-5

🇬🇧🗡️⚰️🩸🧛🐸🧂Yikes! P-part 1!🌭🍫🏰🧟🛳️🎩🥖

Back in May I liveblogged JoJolion, because I've been wanting to do it for a few years and couldn't find the time. Once I finally got into it, I had a blast, and that got me motivated to block out time to do other JoJo parts. I tried to cover the anime as I watched it in 2017, and the manga for the parts that weren't animated at the time. But I didn't really get a handle on how to do it right until later, and I always wanted to go back and read the manga for the parts I only saw in cartoon form.

And since Part 1 is the shortest one, I thought this would be the easiest one to squeeze into my busy schedule of reading comic books uh... important business. Yes, important sexy business. But liveblogging JoJo is pretty important and somewhat sexy in its own right, so let's begin, shall we?

The story opens on an ancient Aztec sacrificial ritual from sometime between the 16 and 12th centuries BCE. I don't want to spend a lot of time on that, since the main purpose of the scene is to showcase the weird, spooky mystery of the stone mask that appears throughout the story. For the first several chapters, it seems to be little more than a curiosity, but it quickly turns into something much more important.

We then jump to 1880, where Dario Brando is trying to talk to his son, Dio. Look at this. Just look at this. This is the very first time Dio has appeared in anything, anywhere, and he's flipping us all off. No one holds a book like that, Dio, you salty, salty bitch. You ain't slick.

What Dario wants to tell Dio is that he once "rescued" George Joestar back in 1868. I'm using quote marks here because what actually happened was that Dario and his wife discovered the Joestar family in a carriage wreck and tried to rob their corpses. But George was still alive, and he mistook Dario's actions as a kindness. This naivete pretty much defines George Joestar's whole character arc.

George's driver was killed in the wreck, and so was his wife, but their infant son, Jonathan survived. The anime implies that Jonathan's mom used her own body to protect Jonathan as best she could, but that isn't spelled out here. I guess that's kind of a given, though. I mean, she died and the baby lived, so what other interpretation could there be?

Anyway, George wanted to reward the Brando family, so he gave Dario a bunch of money, which he later used to start a hotel, but kind of blew it. But also, George promised to take care of Dario's son if anything ever happened to Dario. So now that he's dying, Dario tells Dio to go to the Joestar estate, where he can become a rich man.

Dio agrees to do this, but not out of any love or respect for his father. He hated Dario, mostly for being a failure who mistreated his mother, and he vows to become rich and powerful, but not for his father.

On the day Dio arrives at the estate, young Jonathan tries to rescue a doll for a girl named Erina. He doesn't know her, but he just happened to see bullies messing with her and chose to intervene. Jonathan gets his ass kicked, though. That doesnt' matter to him, though, because he considers himself a gentleman, and a true gentleman always has the courage to help those in need, even if he can't win. Especially if he can't win.

And this page might be the throughline of the entire JoJo series. I was watching some Hamon Beat videos a few weeks ago, and I was impressed with his response to the notion that Part 1 is "boring". Part 1 is literally the foundation of the entire series, and establishes all of the themes that run through the Parts that follow it. Sure, the 19th Century setting might be a little off-putting for some, and it takes a little while for the nutty super powers to kick in, but Hamon Beat makes a pretty strong argument. How much can someone really enjoy Stardust Crusaders or Diamond is Unbreakable if they hate Part 1?

Young Jonathan standing up for Erina--even when he doesn't know who she is, even when he's outnumbered-- is exactly the same thing that makes Jotaro advance towards Dio when he doesn't seem to have a chance of winning. It's the same thing that drove Josuke in his battle against Kira. Having preferences is fine. It's one thing to like Part 5 better because you liked the Stand powers or fashion choices more. But it's weird that people got into JoJo and seemed to completely miss the real heart of the story, so much so that they held the origin of it all with such contempt.

So Dio arrives to be adopted by George Joestar, and when Jonathan introduces himself, his dog Danny runs up and Dio knees him in the jaw. Keep in mind that Dio's whole agenda here is to play it cool and get in good with the family so he can score a huge inheritance. All he really has to do is behave for a few years until he's established himself, but he hates dogs, and he's too angry to hide it.

The family dynamic becomes pretty clear up front. Dio's main goal is to demoralize Jonathan any way he can. Presumably he wants to diminish Jonathan in the eyes of George, so that Dio will get the lion's share of the inheritance. And Jonathan is a little too nice for his own good, so he lets things slide in an attempt to get along. And George is still to naive to see Dio as anything but a perfect little gentleman.

For example, one night George scolds Jonathan for his table manners and sends him to bed before he can finish dinner. George points out Dio's impeccable table manners, which is... kind of ironic, considering what Dio will be doing for nutrition later on.

Anyway, the isolation really starts to get to Jonathan, and he wonders in a moment of teen angst if anyone will even miss him when he dies. This always gets to me, because Jonathan is part of this lineage of JoJo protagonists, but he's the very first one, and the second one won't show up for decades. Jonathan's the founder of this thing, but he has no way of knowing that, and it's a very lonely position to be in. If only he could know how dearly he'll be missed after he's gone, and how much his loss will mean to his descendants in the future. Maybe this is why I like Part 2 the best.

Oh, also this scene of him staring at the moon kind of reminds me of Jolyne looking at the moon in prison. But let's move on.

No, wait, let's not move on, because Jonathan's morbid thoughts lead him to notice the portrait of his dead mother that's mounted over his bed. Maybe that gives him some small comfort, the reassurance that if he misses her despite having no memory of her, then perhaps his life can mean something to others as well. Anyway, he forgot he had secret bedtime candy in his room, so he won't go to sleep hungry tonight.

But Jonathan's life still sucks. Dio quickly steals away all of Jonathan's friends by beating him at boxing with his superior fighting skills. Jonathan and his pals box for fun, but Dio grew up on the streets, so he knows all the tricks. He offers to teach the others, but warns them not to share his secrets with Jonathan, whom he says can't keep secrets.

This is sort of the basis of Dio's interpersonal skills. "Everyone wants to be friends with someone who is strong or will do something for them!" By making himself useful to the others, and making Jonathan appear weak and useless, Dio can ingratiate himself to the other boys, and isolate Jonathan further.

Later, George sees Dio checking out the Stone Mask and explains how he bought it at a yard sale in London the day of the carriage accident. Dio is curious about its value, its history, and the Aztec writings inside it, but he denies having any interest in the thing.

Meanwhile, Jonathan hits it off with Erina Pendelton, the girl he tried to help earlier in the story. They ride old-timey roller coasters and swim in old-timey swimsuits and so on.

Here's a panel of Erina chilling out with Danny that I thought was pretty cool.

But Dio quickly finds out about this, and decides to forcibly kiss Erina just to wreck what little happiness Jonathan has left.

You might have noticed by now that Dio is kind of an asshole. Again, this is the blueprint for every other villain in the franchise. Dio's already got a bright future ahead of him as an adopted son of George Joestar, but he wants more, and he believes he can increase his own fortune by oppressing others. Dio wants to dominate Jonathan, Kars wanted to dominate all of nature, Kira and Diavolo wanted to erase all evidence of their crimes to live as they pleased, and so on.

But it's not as easy as he likes to think. For all his cruel tactics and ruthless plotting, Erina can shut him down just by washing off her face with gutter water to show her contempt for him. Dio could just let this slide and appreciate how well his plan is working, but he can't. He knows he's being insulted, and he can't stand that. Deep down inside, he wants something that can't be reduced to a simple display of power. He can hurt and manipulate others but he can't make them love him.

For a while, Jonathan isn't aware of this incident between Dio and Erina, because Erina is too ashamed to go near him or tell him. But Jonathan still has Danny. George tells Dio about Danny's backstory. As a pup, Danny was timid, so Jonathan use to tease him and throw rocks at him and stuff. But then Jonathan was drowning in a river, and no one was there to help him, except Danny, who dove in and pulled him to safety like a good boy.

The moral of Danny is that he had no reason to repay Jonathan's cruelty with loyalty, but he did it anyway, and after that they became good friends, with Jonathan never giving him orders. The bond between them was more like that of trusted friends.

Of course, Dio can't understand any of this. He just sees Danny as another vulnerability of Jonathan's to exploit. It's possible, though, that Dio envies what Jonathan and Danny have together, and he can't have that for himself because the concept is so alien to him...

Later, Jonathan finally finds out about what Dio did to Erina, and he confronts Dio immediately. Dio kicks his ass again, but this time Jonathan refuses to back down. He knows if he loses this fight, he'll never escape Dio's shadow, so he knuckles up and...

BAM! PART 1 IS BORING? BITCH WHERE?

YEAH FUCK HIM UP JONATHAN! FUCK HIM UP!

So as they fight, some of Dio's blood splashes onto the Stone Mask, and it falls off the wall, then a bunch of claws come out of it, as though triggered by the blood. This distracts Jonathan, but not for very long.

Dio actually cries, although I suspect this was just a diversion so he could pull a knife, but before he can escalate things, George shows up and scolds them both for fighting in the house. Being George, though, he leans harder on Jonathan for beating Dio excessively. Dammit, George...

Dio retaliates by locking Danny into the incinerator, and the next time one of the servants uses it, he discovers Danny burning alive. I'm pretty sure the anime didn't show Danny getting out of the incinerator, so here you go.

Jonathan comes home to find out Danny's dead, and he knows Dio did it but he can't prove it or start another fight, so he just goes to bed and has a depression nap. As for Dio...

He finally does enough self-reflection to realize that he's overplaying his hand. Dio's plan is to play the long game and win the Joestar estate, but he underestimated Jonathan's righteous fury and pushed him too far. If he tries any more shenanigans, it might wreck everything, so he resolves to dial it back for a while.

Meanwhile the Stone Mask... uh... doesn't do anything. Patience, folks...

[lady-of-snails]

bae what are ur thoughts on the new bnha chapters and how the ending is looking so far!!! i've been a fan of your fics since the beginning (since "snail has bkdk brainrot" had three parts LOL) and i know you haven't posted fics in a while but would LOVE to here ur interpretation/perspective on the canon events/the trajectory of bkdk's relationship!! i love how you illustrate and characterize their relationship sm and thank u for all the joy you've brought me through ur work the past few years!!

omg an og snail reader hi!! ty for the love <3 and UGH my thoughts about the ending,,, i will put them under the cut to hide spoilers!

honestly? i'm a fan of bkdk's ending!! ik its not the canonization everyone dreamed of but i actually love that there were 0 canon ships by the end :') so often stories feel like shakespeare comedies where absolutely everyone has to get paired up in some way even if that doesn't make sense, and i'm really glad hori didn't do that!! esp with ochako and izuku - I HAVE SO MANY BIG FEELINS ABOUT OCHAKOS ENDING TOO BTW :')) I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND I LOVE THAT SHES CARRYING TOGA WITH HER AND ACTUALLY MAKING AN ACTIVE EFFORT TO CHANGE THE WORLD (even though i HATE that toga died and think that shouldn't have happened,,,).

ok, as for bkdk specifically - QUIRKLESS DEKU GETTING TO STILL BE A HERO??? KATSUKI CANONICALLY DEDICATING YEARS OF HIS LIFE AND MONEY TO MAKING DEKU'S "IMPOSSIBLE" DREAMS COME TRUE BC HE CANT STAND THE IDEA OF IZUKU NOT BEING A HERO BY HIS SIDE?? KATSUKI CANONICALLY DREAMING OF BEING A HERO WITH IZUKU FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE?? literally what more could i realistically ask for (except for a final hand holding panel,,, hori pls we were so close </3). in my mind that is canon bkdk they love each other so much they're best friends they get to be heroes together, AND we get to see that deku really CAN be a hero without a quirk :') i loved the bait n switch ending where u think it's just gonna be deku saying "at least i can still inspire people" (which is sweet but a lil cliche) and then NOPE,, ur gay ass boyfriend changed his entire belief system just bc of you <3

the development of katsuki throughout the whole thing just means SO much to me,,, he grew up so much and now hes an ADULT and he's so beautiful :')) and the devotion that he and izuku show each other throughout, whether or not it has any specific labels, means SO much to me too (esp as a person who doesn't always feel comfortable with labels of any kind). the fact that hori emphasized that it was KATSUKI who drove the fundraising efforts, but also that all of class 1-A worked together, is just lsdskldklsd izuku is so so loved :'))

and god. i love ochako so much. her moments in the last chapters were so dear to my heart, watching her break down while trying to hold it in behind a smile was so painful and so izuku-like of her and i was so happy when he came over the hill to comfort her because those two are so similar and they are so best friends and their relationships means SO MUCH TO MEEEE. ik im rambling im just,, full of love for these characters.

and they all love each other so much,,, in so many different ways. and that just really strikes a chord with me <33 and pro hero bkdk and support gear deku are CANON!!! lfg

[k-s-morgan]

︎This is the first time ever I'm writing to a writer as I'm a lil anxious about my English. But after many years of reading your flawless work (TGSTLTH), I really couldn't hold myself anymore; if I stay silent one more second, I'm going to explode from repressed emotions.XD

I'm absolutely going crazy over your storytelling. I think nobody -and I do mean NOBODY- was this close to perfection with the characterization of Sebastian and Ciel. It's like you are working together with Yana herself. You've really managed to catch every aspect of their relationship that made this whole storyline (manga and anime) the way it's been, which seems to be the entire reason why I still can't get over Kuroshitsuji. It's just so dark and dramatic... the bitter power struggle between these two and the way they compete for control —which is pretty entertaining to see when you think about it because both parties are unable to maintain any type of control or authority over the other.

From what I see, this fandom has mixed feelings about S2 of the anime. Some love it, some ignore its whole existence, and some people are okay with it. Unfortunately, I'm the second one. I like the story arcs that are canon to the manga. When I first started to read TGSTLTH, I really thought that fanfic would follow the storyline without S2 in it since you reflect the complexity of the bond they share as a human and demon so prettily. I've always wondered if Ciel, as-twelve-years-old brat, managed to become Sebastian's living hell, how much of a pain in the ass he would be as he grows older. And the plot has several unresolved mysteries that have not been addressed yet. That's why I'm not a big fan of S2; it closes off all the possible ways this story can go as its ending. However, you are the only one who could warm me up to S2; I trust you.

I read the snippets. It was surprising to see Ciel doubting his appearance. I was questioning whether his look-alike was truly superior or if it was just the circumstances influencing his perception. I feel like it's mainly his fear of not being good enough for Sebastian to stay. Which explains his continuous freak-out about the possibility of his soul being unworthy. And I clearly remember Sebastian thinking, "The boy wasn't nearly as pretty" upon seeing him.

Your talent is exceptional and beyond comparison. Please never stop writing. Stay safe...❤❤

B.

Ps. If my English is difficult to read or understand, please feel free to ignore this.

Hi! Please don't worry, your English is absolutely fine! I'm so happy you've been enjoying Those Gentle Slopes so much, and I'm honored that you feel like I did justice to Ciel and Sebastian. They are my favorite characters, and Ciel is probably my most favorite character ever, across all fandoms, so I really treasure the chance to work with them and get such lovely feedback from other readers.

With S2, yes, it created a lot of controversy in the fandom, but also yes, I love it with my whole heart! I always call it a love letter from Sebastian to Ciel. I do have some issues with it, like the exccessive sexualization in general and of Hannah in particular - it feels just awkward sometimes, but the main plot and especially the resolution make me ridiculously happy.

I agree that the bond between a demon and a human is fascinating. I enjoy exploring it a lot, and I so look forward to all the adventures Ciel and Sebastian will have. But I also think that it cannot go on like this forever: even if Ciel got older, sooner or later, something wuld have to give. He'd either die from old age, which would feel like a very underwhelming ending to me, or Sebastian would eat his soul likepromised - but then I'm sure we'd have ended up with the Red Valentine development, where he's lonely, miserable, and missing Ciel. The idea of Ciel becoming a demon in a way that puts such a strain on his relationship with Sebastian - it's like a new life for their bond. So many new conflicts and possibilities could emerge from it - new settings, new events, new power struggles. If you stick around, I really hope you'll like it! And I really appreciate your trust.

And yes, you're absolutely right, Ciel is prettier than his look-alike (at least from how I envision it). Sebastian probably overestimates the difference between them a bit because he's biased in Ciel's favor while Ciel is freaking out because he's been feeling insecure and unworthy for a while at this point, and learning about Sebastian's second contract was just the last blow. These two idiots…

Thank you for your wonderful ask again! I hope you enjoy the next chapter.

[lexa-griffins]

Quiet, shy Lexa uses Halloween as an excuse to finally come out of her shell and wear a slutty costume to a party where she meets Clarke

Lexa has been avoiding parties since freshman year of college. She finds no value to dancing drunk people grinding on each other as they try to get lucky. Not to mention the hallowen version of that, a thin excuse to wear as little as possible and have it be socially acceptable, all to have sex with someone you night not even recognize the next day.

And yet, here she is, standing at the doorstep of the biggest mixed frat on campus, wearing what might be the sluttiest woodland fairy costume she could have find.

Its her last year of college, fuck it!

She wanders for a good hour and, as she suspected, she absolutely hates it here. She has swatted about four hands away from her ass and has had one very friendly conversation with a girl suddenly turn into a near fingering ride she did not sign up for.

She's outside by the bushes, questioning if she should leave or not after she finishes her drink when someone sneaks up behind her.

"Not many bushes for the garden fairy to hang out by inside?" The voice is right by her hear and makes Lexa startle, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you there."

Lexa turns to face Clarke Griffin. Fratgirl extraordinaire, she is also a senior and president of the frat. They have barely spoken despite sharing many classes and being dorm neighbors for a whole year. Lexa finds her beyond hot, sparkling blue eyes and an easy smile. And right now she wears a firefighter costume with a simple black bikini top covering her chest, contrasting with the yellow baggy pants and helmet on her head. Despite the softness of her stomach Lexa has seen her at the gym and knows there is a hardness below it.

"Shouldn't you be inside entertaining guests." Lexa comments, motioning inside where the music is booming.

Loud cheering comes from inside as the vague image of someone being given a lapdance can be seen.

"They seem plenty entertainted to me." Clarke smiles, "you however do not. I dont think ive ever seen you at one of these."

Lexa shakes her head with a closed smile, "Not really my thing."

"And yet here you are. Looking really good if I may add." Her words slur just a bit and Lexa can tell she is a few drops past drunk.

"Thank you. You look..." Lexa tries to think of a word that isnt /sexy/ or /hot/, "very authentic too."

Clarke flashes her a bright smile at that and Lexa can feel her legs shake and her heart beating faster.

"Thanks! You're Lexa right?"

Lexa nods, her smile growing slightly bigger at the fact Clarke knows her name.

"Im Clarke." The girl introduces herself and Lexa has to hold back a chuckle. Who /doesn't/ know who Clarke is.

"I know who you are Clarke, everyone does."

Clarke seems almost bashful at this, bringing her hand to sctrach the back of her head, "eh, I mean you always seemed to not really care who i was so I thought id introduce myself."

Lexa's heart flutters again but she says nothing.

"So why did you decide to come this time?"

Lexa shrugs "its our last year of college and I thought I might as well pretend I had some fun. Even if I'd rather stay behind this bush all night than go back inside.

Clarke chuckles, a low and deep chuckle that makes Lexa feel something tingle between her legs.

They stare at each other for a minute, and Lexa is hyper aware of Clarke eyeing her costume - or lack the off - fully. She has to admit it looks great on her. The fake leaves that make up the bra give her a wonderful lift and the skirt in so short it could classify as a belt. She made a point of adding some glitter to her skin that shines now underneath the low light of the patio.

"That costume looks so fucking good on you." Clarke comments once more, eyes hodded as she stares at Lexa's body.

"Youre drunk." Lexa states although she cant deny how Clarke's stare is affecting her.

"So are you. Your words are more loose, youre ususally so uptight when you talk."

Lexa stares down at her cup, already empty. Maybe she has had one too many.

When she looks back up, Clarke is right in front of her, her chest touching her. Lexa closes her legs firmly, feeling herself growing wetter. She shouldnt.

"You're so hot. The beautiful kind of hot."

Suddenly Lexa feels something poke her. Looking down, she can see Clarke's pants have become a tent

"Clarke...."

She can feels Clarke's breath on her face, her hand on her hip. Their lips inches away.

"Tell me to stop and I will." Clarke whispers.

Lexa closes the gap.

She feels so fucking free right now.

She throws her arms around Clarke, pulling her closer to her. Almost immediately Clarke's hands find her ass, using it as leverage to hold Lexa up into her arms.

"Fuck, I knew you were strong." Lexa moans as she wraps her legs around Clarke's waist.

Clarke chuckles, cocky, before slamming their lips together once more.

"Wanna see strong?" Clarke asks with a smirk and Lexa nods rapidly. Quickly the shorts she wore below her skirt are gone, her wet cunt bare to the autumn air. The sound of clothings hitting the floor follow it and she feels Clarke's hard cock against her.

"Take a deep breath my little fairy, im gonna make you soar."

The colors of the lights coming from inside the house all blur into one as Clarke slams her dick inside of Lexa repeatedly, the shorter girl somehow able to move her hips upwards and she moves Lexa up and down on her dick.

Its sloppy and fast but the thrill of being sressed up and being a bush while a party happens so close by is enough excitment to leave Lexa close to the edge rather fast.

"Ah, Clarke, im gonna cum!" Lexa moans in Clarke's ear, probably louder than she should have, but the loud music muffles her moans.

"Fuck, me too baby, im so close."

With one last thrust Clarke buries herself inside of Lexa fully, cumming hard inside. Lexa locks her legs with as much strength as she can manage around Clarke's waist, bringing them impossible close and sending Lexa over the edge.

"Clarke? You're here?!" The sudden voice alerts the two girls someone is close. Without much time to react, Lexa hops off Clarke in search of her shorts. She slides them on, realizing just as they are in place she is still filled with Clarke's cum. Shit.

"Oh, there you are." It's Octavia, one of Clarke's frat friends, "who's this?"

Lexa looks up to see Clarke fully dressed as if nothing had happened while Lexa shifts on her feet, feeling Clarke's cum drip on to her shorts. Fuck.

"Oh this is Lexa, we have a few classes together." Clarke says casually, "She was about to head out so I was just saying bye to her."

Lexa nods at Clarke's excuse, glad she's giving her an outing given her... state.

"Yeah, sorry. These just arent really my thing." Lexa apologizes, voice somehow steady.

After some quick goodbyes, Clarke accompanies Lexa to the front. As Lexa gives her a polite goodbye, Clarke grabs her hand, forcing Lexa to turn around. They are once again face to face.

With a roll of eyes and a smile, Lexa closes the gap between them again.

"Dont be stranger." Clarke whispers as they pull away, a hand finding Lexa's core from behind and pressing on it, feeling the wetness she created gather between her legs.

Lexa moans softly before pulling away with a shy smile.

"I'll see you Clarke."

She still doesnt like frat parties. But oh doesnt she looove that frat girl.

[ai-luni]

nsfw hcs for merrick? i absolutely l o v e your writing, its so crisp i am literally crushing it up and snorting it like coke rn. also my boy is so underappreciated🥲

HE IS!! YES!! Merrick is so underappreciated. I need edits of him, I need fics of him. Genuinely his voice does things to me, I’m so obsessed with how scratchy his voice is. 

It’s actually embarrassing how much I listen to the ghost’s voice lines. @lylesx got me so addicted to Rorke’s voiceline video and I kid you not, it’s an experience. Now that’s what I snort like coke. 

And I’m so glad somebody asked because this has been plaguing my mind forever. Most childish gambino songs remind me of Rorke. Les, heartbeat, me and your mama, the redbone x bonfire mashup.

Thomas Merrick NSFW Headcanons

Now, let’s begin. 

Save a ghost, ride a cowboy. This man can be damn rowdy if you want him to be. 

He’s hot headed, loves a good bar, a good game of pool, like a true yeehaw blooded american. So if you get him to wear a cowboy hat, you’re really in for it. 

Merrick is steadily approaching his older years now and having been around the block a couple times now, I think he’d definitely prefer a partner who knows what they want. That doesn’t mean you have to be experienced, he's just a little over the shyness of it all now. The man does not beat around the bush, he wouldn’t be a commander today if he wasn’t assertive.

Merrick’s not opposed to one night stands but he’s also started to make jokes that he’s ‘over his prime’. Unless you completely took charge and played all of your cards correctly, I don’t think he’d take home a woman in their 20’s. 

The whole ‘innocent young girl’ act just wouldn’t work on him, period. He would love the idea of having a daughter one day, even if he had to do it as a single father. I’m certain you can find the correlation there yourself. 

(On a different note, Merrick as a father - to a daughter especially - is incredibly protective. He’ll scare off any potential date until they find one he likes, he’ll be proactive if anyone was making fun of them in class and the house has many security systems built in. Not to mention the fact he’s a petty officer, so if his child doesn't do their chores on any given day, they’ll never live it down).

Merrick’s favourite thing to this date is shower sex. Warm water, a hot woman and all the time in the world. What more could he ever ask for?

Seriously though, he’s been a SEAL since he was 17. The man has spent his entire life tossed between aircrafts, navy carriers, land bases and raid sites. The most luxurious thing to him is a long, hot shower. 

When he’s home alone, he’ll get himself off in the shower (also because it feels more private to him and it’s an easy clean up overall). Water running down his spine, palmed braised on the tiled wall. He’ll let his head hang forward, eyelids clamped. If an incredibly undignified noise wants to leave his mouth, then is the only time he’ll let it slip. 

However, he’ll have you in any position imaginable that could fit in that shower. His absolute favourite is having a shower with a glass door facing the mirror above the vanity. He’ll press your chest up to the glass and watch as you struggle to find a comfortable way to rest your head. Eventually he’ll give in and yank your wet hair back to your chin and sit against the glass, leaving your throat on complete display just for him. Then there's your ass slapping against him, your curved spine shiny and wet. It’s not the best position to get the most of him in you and you’ll likely cramp up quicker, but if you can handle it, it’s the quickest position to get Merrick to finish. 

Circling back to the daughter thing: man has a breeding kink. He’ll take any chance he can to ask if he can make you a mummy. 

There was one time you were riding him, holding his hands out by his head. The sight of you alone taking what you need from him was enough to keep him hard long after release but then you started to talk to him. Tease him the best way you know how. 

“You wanna be a father hmm? I’m gonna make you a father” He’ll groan like he was in pain and you’ll feel it, his dick deep inside you just as restless as his hands were. “What will your kids call you? Dad, daddy, papa?” 

When he’s out on a mission, if he’s not thinking about the view of you in the shower, it’s your voice in his ear getting him off. And when you’re with him, then wrap your arms around his neck, let your hands roam his chest and whisper in his ear for only him to hear about how good of a father he’s going to be. He will follow you around like a lost puppy. 

You did it to him around the ghosts once and they kicked up a storm. What nasty, dirty thing could you have possibly said to make him completely melt in your hand like that. 

If it’s not a “mummy” kind of day, he’ll say “yes ma’am.” In or outside the bedroom, he’ll say “yes ma’am” and absolutely loves it when you run the show. He’s also an avid user of “that’s my woman” when you are doing something helpful or badass.

I don’t know about you but I am absolutely whipped for this man’s voice. He would be absolutely smitten if he found out what his voice did to you. Also another thing that should be talked about more here is that Merrick can speak spanish. 

So if you’re being cruel and teasing him, he’ll send it back ten fold (He’s a massive tease and would love a witty woman). He’ll whisper right back into your ear, telling you what he wants to do to you, how hot you look in that outfit and sprinkle in anything in Spanish, until you're a shameless, moaning mess in public. 

Merrick isn’t opposed to public sex depending on the situation. Mission are an absolute no and it’d be very unlikely he’d let go all the way when hiding out in a safe house. 

(If you were with the ghosts hiding at a safehouse, he’d honestly see it as a game of ‘who can last the longest’. Both of you so so stubborn that the game has only ever ended the lot of you going back into combat or with Rorke or even Elias saying they’ll clear the room just so he can fuck you already. The both of you get so tense and strict just because you’re holding out on each other and the others find it very. very. annoying). 

If you were at a bar or restaurant or cinema or even another ghost’s house, however, it’s fair game (granted you can actually find a spot you won’t get caught).

It all started in a movie once, only two other seats were filled out and both were on the other side of the room. You grabbed his hand, stuck it between your legs and started to grind against it. He may have given you the most unamused look but even when you finished, he wouldn’t let go of your pussy until the film was done. 

He can be quite loud in the bedroom. Most of the time, however, he’ll only grunt and groan. He’s gonna be really worked up or angry to get a yell out.

He finds the maintenance of his beard quite an intimate thing and as much as a middle aged man can, he gets quite giddy when you trim it for him. 

Having you sit on his lap in the bathroom with a comfortable silence. His hands instinctively roaming your back as you giggle. His smile makes it harder for you to be precise that eventually you hold his head still by the jaw. He wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off you as concentrated on getting this right for him. He didn’t seem to care as much as you did and just brought you into a kiss. 

Usually if things escalate like that, you’d have to finish trimming his beard later in the night. 

Like mentioned before, Merrick’s been a SEAL for all of his adult life. He’s been a ghost since his early 20’s and has become most of his identity. Seeing you in his ghost mask could then draw two responses out of him depending on how he’s feeling.

On some days, he’d hate to see you wear the mask, see you be associated with any of the violence that that mask has seen.

On other days and more commonly however, seeing you wear his mask does something to him. Seeing you let this mask that has become a symbol of him wrap your face, so willing to be one with him. He wouldn’t make love to you in it but it would definitely instigate the evening. 

Besides he’s always thought the mask looked cool and you looking hot in it only confirms it. And then if the mask continued to smell like your perfume, even for a few days afterwards, he would be the happiest man alive. 

[theweirderstuffblogdontlook]

A short one shot fic about Bob’s disguise as Barbra.

Check it out under the readmore.

Alright, moment of truth. Time to see if all the practice and costume tweaking would pay off.

While the possession amulets were extremely handy for going out in public without anyone getting suspicious. 

Since when Bob hid inside her, he was totally hidden from the world. And when she was hidden in Bob, so long as no one saw them switch, their association with each other would be similarly hidden.

It had been getting increasingly clear that this "only one of them existing at a time" thing was not without its own inconveniences. 

In particular, feeding into Bobs cabin fever. 

Cabin fever makes him want to go out more. 

And going out more means more cannibal serial killing.

She doesn't have access to drugs or jail bars to hold him. Her capacity to protect people from him is painfully limited.

So she's been trying to get creative with the damage control.

So came the idea for Barbra.

And the disguise has been made, and the acting has been practiced. The backstory, hopefully memorized.

Now all that was left was a test run.

They parked the truck in front of a small, nowhere sort of bar. Place where there shouldn't be many people, generally a bit more rough and tumble group without super easy targets, and especially no kids that could get caught in the crossfire.

Though her mind and nerves were still buzzing with everything that could go wrong.

"Alright, tell me again the number one rule of this whole scheme."

Bob rolled his eyes from under his sunglasses, but was more amused at her stressing out than annoyed.

"Don't try huntin or hurtin people while playin Barbra."

"Right. If you act suspicious as Barbra, it puts both of us at risk, because people can use me to track down the house to catch us unawares. Then we're either in prison or on the run with no money. Or possibly dead if someone tracks us down who doesn't care to take you in alive."

They start walking towards the bar as she continues.

"So remember, you're Barbra Freeman, a butch lesbian truck driver, but you got in a car accident awhile ago, and had been recovering for a few months. You're wearing sunglasses even while indoors cus the accident left you with a light sensitivity. Just, smalltalk, and not being suspicious."

"Sugarcube, I spent years playin innocent with nobody suspecting a thing. I know how to play nice."

"Yeah and that was awhile ago and you're clearly years out of practice, because in all the time I've known you, you've just been a deeply weird and unsettling person.

Also you're in public in costume Barb, Use the Barbra voice, don't break character."

Already she was losing confidence in Bob's ability to follow the plan. Though Bob, if anything, seemed overconfident. He switches up his tone to a more feminine sounding one, snaking an arm over her shoulders and teasing.

"Right, I'm supposed to be your hot piece of arm candy today. Well, I wouldn't want to deprive ya of a bit of extra time alone with your girlfriend."

She had liked how he hadn't had any problem with disguising himself as a woman. After all it'd be a pretty big insult to write off your whole gender as something gross and embarrassing. Though him being a bit too into it is something her asexual antisocial ass doesn't really know what to do with. 

Least beyond getting embarrassed by it. Which in turn gets a chuckle out of Bob. 

They head in, and Bob confidently goes to take a seat at the bar, while she takes a moment to nervously scope the place out. There were a few people, not too crowded, not to empty. And they don't seem to be turning many heads.

Before going and taking a seat next to him.

Where Bob puts his arm back around her to mumbles in her ear.

"Loosen up honeymuffin, or you'll be the one making us look suspicious."

Yeah, he's right. They're supposed to at least be friends. Even in a relationship in order to explain away if Bob gets too affectionate. 

She tries taking a deep breath and calming down.

Just order something nonalcoholic and chill for awhile. Try to make some small talk. 

Despite how terrible she is at small talk in general.

Though Bob was already well aware of her not being the chatty sort. So he takes more the lead for talking with the bartender, and with her.

Though really that more ends up with him teasing her while she tries not to look too embarrassed.

At least Bob could do a pretty convincing imitation of a tough middle aged southern woman though. 

Still a relatively deep voice, but not so overt that it couldn't be passed off as "Barbra" having just being a big woman who used to smoke.

She had the feeling he'd gotten some first hand experience learning a number of nuances, and was probably doing an impression of female relatives or family friends or something from his past. 

Probably from where he'd gotten his own accent, but she didn't like to pry. 

And if she did, now wouldn't be the time for it.

Her head was still on a swivel, despite her attempts to keep it casual. It was hard not to be paranoid. Too many things that could go wrong. Bob was keeping up a conversation with the bartender, so might be a good time to stretch her legs a bit.

"I'll be right back, don't get too crazy without me Barb."

"Heh, you got it darlin."

She went to the back, and thankfully the women's bathroom was empty, so she took a moment to try and calm her nerves and catch her breath. 

It's one thing to be around Bob, worrying what he might do. But it was another to put on a cheerful facade on top of that, instead of being her usual irritable self.

She really didn't want to go back out there, and her mood is only worsened as she mentally scolds herself for her hesitancy.

It's unpleasant, but this is the better of her options. The longer she can keep Bob busy the less time he'll have for killing.

Come on.

Get back out there. 

You have to supervise the serial killer. This is your idea he's going along with. 

Just gotta have him keep his word. Shouldn't be that hard.

And even if it is, no amount of discomfort is worth an innocent persons life.

Suck it up.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror and tried smiling. It didn't last long before her face quickly sunk 

"Uggh, this is what I get for not putting any effort in with those customer service jobs when I had the chance."

Maybe she can still keep attention away from Bob and not clue people in that she's basically a hostage, while still acting like a miserable unpleasant person who'd rather eat gravel than chit-chat about the weather or the news or some shit.

She leaves the bathroom. 

“!!!!” Shit!! Someone's gone to sit with Bob! Looks like some kind of biker guy, on the big and tall side, kinda weathered looking. The kind of guy who could probably take care of himself. Her panic spikes nonetheless. 

Ok, calm down, he's out in public, he's gonna talk to some people. It's expected. Doesn't mean the worst is gonna happen yet. 

Sure he can always just overpower her if he decides to change his mind and not go along with the plan. But that hasn't happened yet.

She goes to sit down at the bar, on the other side of Bob, not interrupting his conversation with the biker guy. Just quietly listening. Supervising.

And…. Dang this dude really is just outright flirting with Bob. Guy must be into large women. 

And Bobs rolling with it. Just liking the attention and teasing the biker guy back.

Well, it's better than Bob getting offended, and he's having fun with it, so this is probably fine so long as it doesn't go anywhere. 

And she expects that this is a pretty solid bit of evidence that the Barbra disguise is working. So guess the experiment is a success. They could probably be seen in more crowded locations without people recognizing Bob.

Get him out wasting time doing random stuff so he's too busy to stalk victims.

Uggh, this means she'll have to get out of the house more to do random stuff too and - HOLY SHIT BIKER GUY JUST ASKED BOB OUT.

She'll have to mourn the loss of her weird hermit life later, because NO WAY IS SHE LETTING BOB TAKE THIS GUY TO NO SECONDARY LOCATION!!!!

Shit! How the heck is she supposed to play this off??? Uuuuuuuggghhhh this is gonna be so embarrassing. 

She puts on a pissed off face and threatens.

"Excuse me pal, that's my girlfriend you're hitting on, and believe fucking me, this…"

She gestures up and down at Bob.

"This lady right here is a lot more than you're prepared to deal with. Come on Barbra."

She grabs Bob by the hand and starts tugging him towards the door, to which Bob smiles and lets himself be led out, while the biker guy just looks kinda flabbergasted at what just happened as they quickly leave the bar.

She walks for a moment, heading towards the truck, still holding onto Bobs hand. 

Before Bob interrupts her anxious mood, saying in his normal voice, though with an additional low suggestive tone layered on, rather than his Barbra affect.

"Yuh know, I think I like you gettin jealous over me for a change."

Her face goes red. And she lets go of Bobs hand.

"Shut up Barb, it's not jealousy and you know it. I just didn’t want you hurting that man."

Bob grabs her hand again to pull her into a hug.

"Fightin over me for other reasons ain't half bad either."

[adoseofdisturbance]

A Horny Night In

Normally one’s arousal settled in the last few months of pregnancy but that wasn’t the case for Alex. At nearly ten months pregnant, he spent every day pleasuring himself just to take the edge off his horniness. Tonight it wasn’t enough.

Alex moaned loudly as Brett thrust into him. He was bent over the couch, one hand holding his hanging baby belly in place. They’d been going at it since nine o’clock that evening and Alex still hadn’t orgasmed properly.

‘Oh God, I’m gonna come.’ Brett heaved.

Alex slammed back on his cock. ‘Yes. Yes. Fill me with your seed.’

Brett came a moment later with a guttural moan. Alex felt the bottom of his belly inflate with the other man’s sperm but he still barely came himself.

Sliding out of him, Brett smacked his ass before backing away. ‘God, that was so good.’

Alex straightened up. It had been good, but it wasn’t what he was looking for.

He reached for his phone and thirty minutes later, Speed Dial Number 3 had replaced Brett.

‘Your belly is so fucking hot.’ Matt groaned, forcing Alex up and down on his dick as the mattress shook beneath them.

Alex moaned in sync with the thrusts, his belly bouncing as he rode the football player hard.

Matt gripped each side of his belly. ‘So, are they mine?’

Alex scowled, panting. They always ruined it by talking. ‘Wouldn’t you like to know?’

‘I would actually.’ Matt continued working Alex up and down his cock. ‘I’m jealous of anyone who can get you this big. I mean, just look at you. You’re a dream!’

Alex groaned as he bared down. He didn’t want to talk about who knocked him up; he just wanted to orgasm sometime this year!

It wasn’t Matt who’d gotten him pregnant but it also wasn’t Brett. In truth, Alex had narrowed it down to four possible candidates: three randoms and one regular. But considering how close together the timing had been, Alex couldn’t know for sure.

And it didn’t matter, because he didn’t care. He wanted to be pregnant. He wanted to be so overly filled with babies that he could barely walk. To watch as his belly wobbled with every step he took. That was his dream and he’d finally achieved it.

Alex braced one hand under his overburdened belly as he slid off Matt and climbed to his feet. ‘It’s late,’ he said. ‘You should go.’

‘Just like that, huh?’ Matt grinned. ‘How about round two?’

‘You’re not what I need right now.’

‘Damn.’ Matt laughed as he rolled to the side of the bed and stood. He began getting dressed. ‘Being pregnant has made you a real brat.’

He came over and kissed Alex on the cheek. ‘Call me when you want to go again.’

Alex said nothing. Matt laughed again and turned on his heel toward the door. Alex listened until the apartment door closed before heading for the bathroom. He’d just have to do it himself.

Five minutes later, he was a moaning mess as he bounced on a dildo, rocking the bed as he gyrated fiercely.

‘Ohh, oh my God.’ Alex moaned. This was what he’d been looking for. What a waste of time with the others.

The babies stirred inside him. No doubt all the bouncing around had woken them up. Alex rubbed the left side of his belly where a cramp was forming while the other hand kept his hole occupied.

A mirror sat opposite his bed. Alex’s gaze found and remained fixated on his pregnant form as he fucked his hole vigorously. He’d always been turned on by pregnancy and now he had it in all its round, stuffed glory.

He came within minutes, white stripes painting the bedsheets. The babies were kicking up a storm as he dildo slid out of his whole. Alex rubbed his belly with both hands as he came down from his high. ‘Guess that’s what you all needed too, huh?’

Finally, he’d gotten what he was looking for. Now it was time to shower.

He’d just taken off step off the mattress when a pop sounded and liquid trickled down his legs. Alex looked down in horror at the water pooling around his feet. Suddenly he realised why the babies were kicking so much, and it wasn’t because of the sex he’d been having all night.

‘Oh shit.’

[magustiel]

Harris campaign has been spectacular, organized and aggressive. They knew about the Russia threat, but they wanted to win (of course). So, if there was fraud, they have to ask for a recount now, or whatever they need. Other countries are at risk, if Musk manipulates other elections. I hope they wait till the last moment and then make the announcement, when all the West countries and their allies have made it clear that it's not just the US. They all are done with Putin's BS

I have two perspectives here.

My personal one would agree with you. This, I find, is actually actively interfering, putting my ego in the way of playing the game to try to specifically attain that goal.

My zoomed out weird one?

Nah.

That's anxiety talking.

Even with Putin in America's pocket, Trump and Elon will be destabilizing the US so proactively, our ability to contribute will be broken at the kneecaps for several years.

Also, guys, it's like everyone's having a stroke and forgetting the US is an imperialist shitbag too, and has been funding wars around the world since fucking forever.

While I agree we need to support Ukraine, I also believe the rest of the world needs to begin picking up the slack, because no matter which war handout america cuts, it's at least pulling its dick out of one fucking pie. Israel, Gaza, fuckin. Fucking everywhere guys. All of it, the whole fucking thing.

America has refused to stop pissing in corners of the world paying into war since forever now, and it has to fucking stop. I'm no accelerationist, but if this is the way to make it stop, then shatter this old fucking babylon so we don't all fucking die, fucking thanks.

Putin will try to play robber baron, but only once the union really fractures officially over this. His only real gain is Trump cutting funding to Ukraine, and maybe a few trade deals.

Trump is also not generally long for this world, and Vance lacks the cult dedication. By the time he dies, his own people will start eating Vance's bones. Hell, the votes aren't even certified yet and they're all eating each other publicly already, what do you think happens when their false prophet superstar goes in the dirt?

Even that might be a better long term resolution; it would be far easier for military generals to push back against Vance once the obsessive sands of Trumpism have to break, even if that means the feds like, installing some fucking martial law and us ending up under some holding pattern override, functionally stopping what we know as democracy until all other prosecutions, investigations, recounts, or whatever the fuck else.

-- long term, this is ironically a resolution democrats supposedly want: A breakup of american imperialism and war funding, cornering Russia trapped upon itself with us, rattling the financial institutions, and basically removing the US as a primary world power to be replaced by a new-kinda NATO without reliance on us. A New World Order, if you will.

It involves accelerationism, which I'm not an inherent fan of; I believe in protecting people at all costs, caring for the poor and such. But if the accelerationists are here, definitionally hellbent on their path, it is far better to turn them against each other than to keep kicking water uphill eternally while internally rotting our institutions, society, and cultural mental stability.

Like we're here, it's been us trying to jam the door for election after election, and stalling really isn't saving our asses.

So just... breathe. Plan. Put up some basic supplies, build your coalitions and communities and communals, and keep your heads down for a few years. I hate to say it, take down your pride flags and things like that, undye your hair, start living like we're in Nazi Germany because, for a short time at least, we are. Don't self identify yourself as a target more than you have to.

Anyway. I think I'm doing pretty good at this for falling in backwards 20 years ago and just now realizing, what do you guys think

[bardicbeetle]

hey. Hey. You got any analysis of the Lost Boys or thoughts on the movie to share? who's your favorite character in it and why??

@abalonetea

Analysis on the movie I've been many levels of obsessed with since age 14 you ask?

...this is going to end up undercut for length I can already feel it.

The Lost Boys is my comfort movie, my I-feel-like-shit-nothing-is-fixing-it movie, my I-can't-write-please-help movie and my go-to for when I am inflicting media upon a new friend. I know it backwards forwards, upside down and inside out, I own the out of print novelization written by Craig Shaw Gardener, I posted the original prequel script to fanfiction.net in the early 2010s because I found it buried in a forum post and wanted it to be easier to find, I have listened to every version of cry little sister that G Tom Mac has ever put out in addition to the entire stage musical he produced. The fic I wrote for it in 2011 is still on Wattpad and to this day for some fuck ass reason gets 1000s of hits per year. I have another fic for it on ao3 that still takes up brainspace for me on a minimum weekly basis.

I.

Honestly do not know who I am as a writer if not for this film.

It is such a huge part of who I am as both a fan of media and a vampire writer and as a horror enjoyer in general.

And it is undeniably, baked into its bones, queer as fuck.

Not just from the overt point of here is a film in the 1980s about men sharing blood, directed by an openly gay man, hands us platonic and familial and romantic interactions between male characters, who are allowed to hold one another, allowed to express emotion, allowed to exist freely and without shame I am--so very abnormal about this movie.

I'll be the first to admit it's not perfect by any means, it very much exists a time capsule of its era, but also, to momentarily put the bar on the floor, it isn't slur laden and full of take-backs for any of the emotional vulnerability like other things around then were (see: Once Bitten, which while unarguably very much more on the comedy side of horror-comedy, i'm going to put into the same category by virtue of Camp Vampire Movies of the 80s).

It hands us one of my favorite mothers of all time. Lucy Emerson is a treasure, she spends the whole movie trying her goddamn best to remember that she is stronger than anyone gives her credit for. That she chose to divorce an abusive man, pick up her two sons, and leave without more than signing the papers and getting out. She doesn't care if they're poor, she doesn't care if she could have gotten something from her ex-husband, she wants her boys safe and there is a very large implication that sticking around to do the whole song and dance would have ended badly. Lucy lives for her sons, she wants so badly to make the world easier for them than it was for her, she wants to be part of their lives and part of their interests even if she does not understand them, and I maintain that Had Max Actually Succeeded, it would not have been long before the Lost Boys themselves were Lucy's as much as her own two sons, and that would not have ended well for Max. Protecting mother, lioness, made to be underestimated so you are always caught off guard.

Edgar and Alan Frog are near and dear to my heart, these idiot vampire hunter children were just so very much what my brother and I were in terms of Making Up Games To Play--ignoring the fact that for these two it's real, not that it ever had been before the Emerson family rolled into town and Sam's brother got mixed into the Lost Boys group. Edgar wanting to be in charge of things and wanting to protect the people he cares about and the town he is too stubborn to admit he loves despite being what, 12? 14? Alan being quieter but just as absolutely ready to go "yeah we are totally experts at this" as his twin, the fact that neither of them have any idea what they are getting into. Dipping barely into the sequels territory (which...they aren't good. by any definition. but Edgar and Alan are the best part of them both) we get Edgar dealing not only with his perceived loss of Alan to half-vampirism, but his whole loss of Sam after having to kill him and I just.

Ugh.

NOW, dipping into the main event there is Michael, who spends this whole movie just trying to figure out where the hell he's supposed to belong at this point. He doesn't see any point in starting a new high school in his senior year, he doesn't want to upset his mother by just absolutely dropping off the planet, he cares deeply about his family and wants to help however he can because they are struggling for money. So what does this seventeen year old kid do? He starts picking trash up off the beach for eight hours a day. He gives that money to his mother under the guise of it being "leftover from christmas" because he doesn't want her to worry about him working. He feels so fucking lonely without the friends he left behind in Phoenix and he feels like he's too old to supplant himself into a new friend group in Santa Carla before everyone goes their separate ways after high school anyways.

Enter Star and the Lost Boys.

Yes, Michael is taken in by Star because she's beautiful and mysterious and he's a teenage boy seeing nipples through a tank top, but beyond that he sees in her, in David and the others, how self sure they all are of the decisions they've made. This group is all within his age, they're all living in a goddamn sunken hotel half claimed by the ocean, they have motorcycles like him, they smoke weed and eat chinese food and Marko keeps pigeons and Dwayne can skateboard and Paul is a music nerd and what the fuck how do they manage to seem like they have their lives more together as a group of teenage runaways than he does?

He's enamored with it, obsessed with it, the movie speeds up a timeline of something that does in fact happen over the course of a couple weeks, of him hanging out with them, slowly experiencing more and more symptoms of vampirism from the blood he drank the first night, unable to stop coming back, unable to really figure out what it is they have figured out that he doesn't, and hoping that maybe if he stays with them he will eventually feel the same confidence in his own existence that they do.

But couple that with the horrifying reality that he is becoming a monster. His younger brother is terrified of him, the family dog bites him, the horses won't go near him, he pulls a mouse out of a trap freshly dead and squeezes it like a spent juice box into his mouth, he is falling apart at the seams by the time David decides it's time to finish things. And that's what David wants, he wants Michael in a position where he is no longer lucid enough to resist once there's blood in the air.

And it almost fucking works.

I stand by my belief that the entire movie hinges on the beach party where the Lost Boys kill a whole bunch of Surf Nazis. The whole thing, the outcome of the final fight, the failure of Max's plan, all of it hangs on that one night, and whether or not Michael can actually manage not to give into the bloodlust. He does manage, obviously, he leans into the shock and fear and near throws himself out of that tree because he knows that if he doesn't, he will join the blood bath happening not ten feet away. He is starving and exhausted and everything in him is screaming that if he just gave in, it would all feel so much better.

But he doesn't.

He lays in the sand until he cannot hear any heartbeats left.

Lays there clawing his hands into the ground like if he can hold himself still enough then maybe this will stop being real.

Three of the four boys don't pay much mind to this, Dwayne Paul and Marko have slipped back into regular antics despite being coated red. Their faces have returned to normal, their eyes no longer brilliant gold rimmed red, they are laughing and shoving and having a good time.

But David is furious. He's quiet about it, he isn't loudly angry, something I think he probably absorbed from Max over the years, he tells Michael what needs to be done if he wants to stay with them, and then he and the other Lost Boys leave him there in the sand, burnt flesh and ashes drifting down to him on the breeze.

The thing about David is that he realized the night on the train bridge that he didn't care about Max's bullshit plan. He didn't care that he was originally going to feed Michael to Star. He is fixated on getting Michael to join them, not just for himself, not just to keep Star around, but also because there's a refusal to give up in this kid that has him excited, a stubbornness that he wants to break. It's the thing that eventually leads to his death.

ANYWAYS.

I think, perhaps, I have yelled enough.

Oh, shit, favorite character.

I think without any doubt it has to be David. Especially after reading the novelization, the comics, the original prequel script, he's just, he is such an interesting character and his motivations are so obvious despite how much he would appear to hold them close to his chest. He's a root character I can trace a lot of the tropes that carry over in my own antagonists to, and some of my protagonists as well.

double anyways, camp vampires from 1987 my beloved.

Thank you Katie <3

[we-be-writing-bts-stuff]

BTS and Valentine's Day

Plot: How BTS would celebrate Valentine's Day with their partner.

Rating: F for fluffy.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, Suggestiveness but nothing explicit, Overall very sweet and fluffy,

A/N: Just a happy and short thing for Valentine's Day. This isn't proof read and there might be mistakes. Hope you like it and I'm always here to talk. I promise I'm working on stuff. Life just keeps getting in the way and writer's block is a bitch and a half. ~Bagel

Seokjin:

This is a day for the two of you to just spend and enjoy with each other. He's set up video games for you two to play, a new show you've both been meaning to watch together. He's bought flowers and chocolates and junk food for you to enjoy. I don't think he would make it a huge deal. It would be almost like day off for the both of you.

Yoongi:

He's cooked you breakfast, there's random gifts around the home. And they are little things that you've mentioned to him. That shirt you showed him last month, your favorite perfume that's running low, clothes that he thought you would look good in, that one snack you are constantly eating and running out of, that necklace you were looking at last time you went to the store. He would also be one to write you a poem or letter about how he felt and how much he cared for you.

Hoseok:

He's taking you on a whole ass shopping spree. He's called ahead to a few high end stores to make sure it won't get too packed while you're there and you can enjoy yourself and not feel rushed. I think he would have ordered things beforehand tob e sent to the store to surprise you with when you get there. I also see him as someone to sign you both up for some sort of couple's lessons. Like a dance class or art class for you both to just enjoy and experiance together. He will buy you a whole outfit plus accessories to wear to a fancy dinner that he's had booked for months.

Namjoon:

Little culture dates through out the day. A new art exhibit has opened up that you want to see but haven't had the time, he's taking you. You read about some sort of museum that seems cool, he's booked it. You want to go to a new bookstore nearby, you already know he has a list that he wants to get and he's letting you run around finding what you want. He'll have lunch in a cute little cafe that you two frequent regularly and dinner at a fancy resturaunt.

Jimin:

LEGO DATE!! He's gonna get the flower LEGO sets and the newest Vlaentine's Day ones and make a day of it. He's ordered your favorite take out so you don't have to leave. Along with dessert. He's gotten your favorite wine (or alcoholic drink if you don't like wine or just drink in general if you don't drink). He'll constantly steal kisses or give you random compliments to see you get flustered. He would absolutely be a massive tease during the entrie day. The LEGO set would be an afterthought for the two of you at one point because of his antics.

Taehyung:

He's gotten you flowers and a giant ass teddy bear. He's the one I can see being the most cheesy about it and doing all of the cliche things. Chocolates, the bear holding a heart, flowers, I bet he would even try breakfast in bed. Making the pancakes into little hearts and using food coloring to make things pink and red. He's bought decorations too and has set up a cozy area for you two to "watch" some romantic movies (its not his fault that you look so good and that he's very tactile when showing his love). He would have dinner planned though. You two go to some underground bar that serves food and has live music. He would make sure you two would dance together at some point.

Jungkook:

He made sure to have the day off. He's sleeping in with you all morning and making sure you both stay in bed untli lunchtime. His big gesture is something he's been working on since last Valentine's Day. It's a movie of different things you've done throughout the year. The dates, the small moments he's captured with you and Bam, moments you didn't think he saw. Like whenyou were singing along to a song while cooking one night or when Hoseok was teaching you one of the moves for their songs while Jungkook was resting during a practice. Pictues that the other members caught of you two where showcased as well. Like when you fell asleep on each other coming back from a concert or when you reunited after they came back from an overseas schedlue. You lifted in his arms pressing your foreheads together. Very emotional and thoughtful gift. He would be tearing up even while watching it. I do think though he would be similar to Jin in wanting to stay home and just spend time with you. He wouldn't want todo anything big beyond his gift to you.