#also he just wants to work on the machines at the hospital but his mom said no lmao

[aurumacadicus]

Listen, Steve is grateful he gets to work at a Stark-funded hospital. He is. Not only is the prestige of working there even for a year going to carry him through his entire career, but if he stays for five years, the Maria Stark Foundation will pay off all of his student loans. Their clientele are people typically in poverty and he loves that he can help the less fortunate. It's all he ever wanted to do after watching his single mother scrimp and save as a nurse just to make sure they had a roof over their heads. He would never do anything to jeopardize his position or the reputation of the hospital.

"That custodian is going to be the reason you're fired," Natasha declares, and both Clint and Bucky spin from their nursing charts just in time to watch Steve almost fall over as he attempts to get one more glimpse of Tony's ass as he pushes his cart, whistling, toward the elevator. "Is this your way of getting out of the gala? Getting shit-canned the day before?"

"Are you going to tattle on me to Dr. Potts?" Steve asks her bluntly.

Natasha says nothing for several minutes, mulling the idea over in her head. Finally, though, she mutters, "I guess you're better than Hammer. He actually put his hands on Tony."

Steve doesn't know how to respond, because he'd only gotten his position after Dr. Hammer had groped Tony one too many times (apparently Tony had never reported it? It had actually been one of the nurses) and got fired for it. Again, he's grateful for the position, but he knows other doctors would shank him for the opportunity. He's just looking, but maybe he shouldn't look? Tony isn't a piece of meat. He's a respected member of the hospital staff.

Tony stops and bends over to pick up a piece of garbage on the floor, and even Natasha whimpers as his pants lovingly cup each of his cheeks.

Luckily, they're saved by one of the PR interns coming out of a hospital room and chirping, "Are you going to the gala tomorrow, Mr. Tony?"

"Peter how many times do I have to tell you," Tony begins, sighing, then shakes his head. "Yes, my mother is finally forcing me to show up for the gala."

Steve does a minute fist pump, and Bucky immediately drags him into a noogie that makes him squawk about his hair in probably the most unattractive manner possible.

--

"Gala" is probably too fancy a term for it. Unlike the Foundation galas, where the Stark family squeezes donations from the other wealthy elite for all they muster, this is more of a get-together between other hospitals to compare notes. Women are in cocktail dresses and the men are a healthy mix of suits and slacks-and-polos. The only people really decked out in formal wear are those with the foundation.

Steve is trying to be very casual as he keeps an eye out for Tony. He hasn't seen him yet, but he's hoping to ask Tony for at least one dance. Dr. Potts had said Tony liked to dance when he'd been talking with her and Natasha at the start of the gala. (She'd made really deliberate eye contact with him when she'd said so, too, so Steve figures she at least approves of him??? Even if she also kind of scares him.)

"Oh my God," Bruce whispers, wine dripping down his chin. He's gone ashen.

Steve and Thor turn to see what he's looking at, and Steve immediately understands. He feels as if he's just been simultaneously punched in the gut and head.

Because Mrs. Stark has finally arrived at her gala, dressed to the nines and yet somehow making everyone feel at ease in their own clothes. She's being escorted by a handsome man in a tuxedo.

The man looks a lot like Tony from the custodial department. But Mrs. Stark keeps loudly and proudly announcing that he's her son.

"I'm so fired," Steve whispers, voice cracking, as Bucky finally steps up beside him and claps him on the shoulder.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

any soda headcanons?

Hi! I hope these suffice, I couldn't help but throw a little bit of Stevepop in :)

Sodapop Curtis Headcanons

-The Curtis house has a half finished basement which is where the laundry machine is, but the ceiling is FULL of spiders and spiderwebs. Both Darry and Pony are PETRIFIED of spiders, like Ponyboy is jumping from foot to foot and hyperventilating and Darry SHRIEKS when he sees one, so its always Soda’s job to de-spider the basement and he absolutely hates it (he's a little scared of them too, but not nearly as bad as his brothers)

-He has the friendship equivalent of those ‘you cheated on me in my dreams and now I’m mad at you”. One time he dreamed Steve left him stranded at the Dingo and was lowkey pissed at him the next day. Poor Steve was SO confused

-Loves both peanut butter and chocolate by themselves, but HATES when they’re combined together. Bro HATES reeses cups with a passion

-After the Curtis parents died he snuck into their room, stole his mother's half full perfume bottle and hid it in his bedside table. Sometimes before he goes to bed, when Ponyboy is busy brushing his teeth, he’ll spritz a little on his wrist because when he closes his eyes and smells her perfume he can pretend his mom is hugging him again.

-Thinks bananas are spicy (they’re not, he’s just mildly allergic but doesn’t realise it. Everyone in the gang thinks he’s making a joke every time he says it. He isn’t.)

-Him and Steve swing dance together at work sometimes when they’re working alone in the garage and his stomach flutters every time Steve dips him 

-Cannot sing to save his life and does it all the time anyway. Like, he sounds like he’s gargling with rocks, it’s actually painful. Dally has literally paid him to shut up before.

-Steve’s pet cat absolutely HATES him and Soda will always and forever be mad about it because “what did I ever do to her???”

-Can’t remember what his dad’s voice sounded like anymore. It haunts him.

-The easiest way to piss him off is to disrespect Steve in front of him. Sodapop is convinced the sun shines from his grumpy best friend’s glaring eyes, and if anyone doesn’t see that he WILL throw hands, no questions asked

-The Curtis’ have a chore jar full of little slips of paper with the really unpleasant chores they only have to do once in a while written on. Every three months they each draw two each so that way it’s fair who does what. EVERY single time Soda ends up having to clean behind the stove and he’s forever bitter about it because “it looks like a crime scene back there Dar and I know it ain’t just my fault!”

-He and Steve gave each other stick and poke tattoos once but his got SUPER infected. He would’ve had to tell Darry and probably go to the hospital if it weren’t for Evie, who luckily had some training from her tribe’s medicine woman and managed to fix him up.

-Him and Darry do rock paper scissors to decide who has to tell Ponyboy when he has a doctors appointment because Pony always gets SO mad and neither of them wanna deal with him

-Once walked in on Two-bit in an, ahem, compromising position, and hasn’t been the same since

-He used to socially drink pretty often but stopped when he realised how much drunk him really wanted to kiss Steve on the mouth

-Started drinking socially again when sober him kissed Steve on the mouth and the world didn’t end

-He draws faces on the eggs in the fridge, partially because he just finds it fun, but also because it always gets Darry to smile and shake his head fondly, and there isn’t enough that makes Darry smile these days

-Darry made him promise when he first started work full-time that he’d keep half his pay check for himself. He promised, but only ever keeps about 10% of what he makes as spending money. He’s determined to make sure neither Darry nor Ponyboy ever find out

-Wishes he was a bit more like either of his brothers, because even though he loves them more than anything, they have more in common with each other than they willl ever have with him and sometimes he feels like the odd man out in his own family, especially now his mom and dad are gone

-Had asthma as a kid but he grew out of it by the time he turned 10

[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 34 here/ Series Masterlist

Chapter 35

Summary��: Loki meets the ancient one and she has all the answers for you both.

Warning: 18+,, HUGE Canon divergence (Just me making shit up), timey wimey stuff topics dealing with cheating and falling out of love,

You were at the hospital to see Mrs Geller but you were early so visiting hours weren't open just yet. You missed Loki, you hadn't seen him since the night of your birthday, which to be fair was just two days ago but you felt extremely anxious because of everything that has been happening.

Your mom had called you this morning to tell you that she had hurt her legs while working out and as soon as she had told you that you knew somehow it was connected to you.

Loki had told you that he would find the answers about all these glitches in time but you feared those answers would turn your world upside down again.

All those thoughts running in your head were starting to give you a headache so you got up and made your way to the staff area to grab a cup of coffee, luckily for you it was empty.

"You be like baby who cares, i know you care, bring it over to my place i don't know what you did–" you stopped singing to yourself as you felt a presence behind you so you turned around. It was Doctor Mark. Ofcourse.

"That's for staff members you know that right?" He asked you and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes,

"I know but ..it's just coffee you know?"

He shook his head in response and walked towards the machine to pour one for himself,

"How's she doing now?" You asked him so he sighed deeply as if your mere presence was irksome to him. Why were you meeting all these assholes doctors, at first Strange and now him.

"Same as before, she's stable but there's no improvement" he told you so you nodded

"But she'll be okay right?"

He turned his head to look at you as you asked him again, he seemed soft and sympathetic for once, he also seemed as if he knew she won't recover from this.

"What was that song you were singing just now?" he asked you to change the subject so you chuckled in response..

"It's under the influence by Chris Brown"

"The what?" He looked at you a bit surprised so you told him again, this time enunciating each and every word carefully.

"Don't think i have heard of it" he shrugged as he said that so you crossed your arms.

"That's fine i have not heard all the songs in the universe" you chuckled, however it wasn't from amusement but barely annoyance.

"I operated on that man once..we stayed in touch, that's not his song..I'd have known since he keeps sending me his tracks"

He said in a nonchalant manner so you squinted your eyes.

"Well that's nothing..i ..I work for loki..a literal god"

"Yeah what do you do for him?"

"I'm his assistant "

"If he's such a god why would he need an assistant"

"Because he does .." you walked out of there to save face after that. Why was he so annoying? And what did he mean when he said that song didn't exist? You heard it in the last timeline, that was the song you played as you both got high that night. You quickly took your phone out and searched for the song but you didn't find it anywhere..it didn't exist, he was right.

But how could it be? You remembered it, you heard the song, loki did too, you remembered the lyrics for god's sake.

As you reached home that evening you immediately called Loki.

--

Loki knew in order to find the answers you both were looking for he'd have to go find the sorcerer supreme and he did find her quicker than he had anticipated, maybe she wanted to find him as well..

"Pardon me, I need a moment," he said to the woman in front of her who was the sorcerer supreme before Doctor Strange. You were calling him and he never ignored you call no matter how busy he was or wherever he was so he picked it up immediately

"Darling are you alright" he asked you in a hushed voice,

"Yeah I just need to talk to you about something"

Well he needed to tell you something too but he knew it wouldn't sit right with you, he was being unfair again but he had to do this in order to protect you both.

"I'll be there in an hour okay?" He said to you softly before he hung up and turned his attention towards the woman everyone addressed as the ancient one.

"Is there no other way?"

He asked her in one last desperate attempt to avoid his fate but she only gave him a faint smile in response.

"If there was any other way you wouldn't be here seeking my advice. What you two have done have caused a warp in the current timeline, look around you Loki ..everything is disintegrating because you two chose to deviate from the original timeline and found each other before your time"

"It's's not out fault that your protégé messed up the spell and we both remembered each other"

"Well this time she won't"

As he entered your apartment you were pacing back n forth in your living space with a worried look on your face.

"You remember that song I played when we got high together the first time in the other timeline?"

You asked him hurriedly so he smiled but his eyes were teary, heart breaking at the thought that he was going to lose you again and this time you won't even remember him, he just had to rely on fate to bring you back to him. He cupped your cheeks and kissed you lovingly before he placed his forehead down on yours,

"I love you" he mumbled softly and as giddy as his words made you feel you knew something was wrong, you could just tell by the way he felt around you, it was as if you were connected to him in more than just a physical or emotional way.

"I love you baby .. something is wrong..isn't it?' You asked him so he sighed and wrapped his arms around your waist.

"What were you saying about the song? I remember it clearly" He brought one of his hands to your face to tuck your hair behind your ears, the gesture made you lean into his touch.

"It doesn't exist..not in this universe..why?" You asked him so he sighed.

"Perhaps it hasn't been created yet"

"Then how come we heard it in the last timeline?"

"Because we were living a life that was never meant to happen darling and.." his voice broke as he paused his words for a moment and closed his eyes as if he was too afraid to say whatever he wanted to say,

"What is it?"

"We are still living that way darling..this is not how we were supposed to meet again"

You felt your heart drop as he said that. No, you couldn't go through this again, haven't you both sacrificed enough for the sake of the world?

"So? What's the problem then?"

You asked him as you pulled away from him so he grabbed your arms and pulled you closer again,

"You know what is the problem here sweetheart..you can see it can't you? All around you, things are happening..bad things and they'll keep happening until we fix our mess"

"We fixed it once" your voice choked on your tears as you spoke and it took everything in him to stay strong at the moment, he had to, he had to suffer this time for both of you.

"I know..I know we did, we did our best, it's not our fault that we remembered each other but I have found the sorcerer supreme.. there won't be room for any error this time" as soon as he said that you broke down in tears. This was your worst nightmare coming true.

"No please loki no please..pleaseee nooo" your hiccuped sobs crushed him to the core. Why couldn't he just spend a lifetime with you where he could just keep you happy? He knew he'd have to spend years without you before he was able to fulfill all the promises he had made to you.

"We are meant to be together my love, we are made for each other, I'll find you i promise, when the right time comes I will find you and I'll make you mine..i promise.. and then I won't let go until the end of time, until the end of us"

You stopped crying as he said that, you just felt broken at the moment, you didn't know how you'd survive this all over again.

"Thirty years, I have waited thirty years of my life..all my life to have a moment where I didn't feel so deeply sad or worthless. And then you came into my life out of nowhere and I have never been happier, i have been happier beyond my imagination with you" he cupped your cheeks as you let out broken sobs but you weren't done speaking just yet

"And now you want me to give it all up so I can go on and live miserably for a few more years? You are telling me that i…me..basic stupid me whose existence didn't even matter until I found you is the reason why this universe is falling apart and now I'm responsible to fix it? I'm supposed to sacrifice everything to fix everything all over again?"

He stayed quiet for a moment, he wanted you to vent, to take out your anger, whatever you had said had only pierced his heart deeply, he never wanted you to feel this way again but he had no choice, he never really did, he never got his will..

"Don't you see it, princess? It's all about you, everything has been about you, it had been about us finding each other but we find each other at the wrong time.. always the wrong time" He mumbled softly, things grazed over your cheeks to wipe your tears

You really wished his words had made you feel better but it really didn't, you only felt heartbroken at the thought of losing him, forgetting him completely and moving on with your life as if you weren't loved so immensely by this gorgeous man in front of you.

"And Yes you'll have to sacrifice again to save the universe and you won't even remember doing it but i promise that when I find you again I'll help you remember. The sorcerer supreme- she gave me her word that she'll help us remember everything, every moment that we have spent with each other, she'll help us relish those memories again, this won't be forgotten, our time together won't be forgotten"

You had to let go of him as if you had never fallen head over heels in love for the very first time.

You felt empty and all you wanted to do was halt time from moving somehow and freeze this moment right here so you could spend your whole life like this..a forever with him

"What if you don't find me lo? What if we don't find each other?" you asked between your broken sobs so he picked you up by grabbing onto your hips and walked a few steps to press you against the closet door, if he was going to lose you for years he'd want to engrave this moment in his head.

"We will..we are destined for each other. This is my last attempt to atone for my atrocities but I won't be so kind the next time.. I promise I'll ruin the whole multiverse and everyone in it just to keep you by my side"

Well you wouldn't even stop him.

You moaned as he pressed his lips against your neck and sucked on it while his fingers removed your clothes magically, he was going to fuck you but he was going to take his time, as you felt his cock inside you, you couldn't help but gasp as his girth stretched you out.

He didn't even use a protection this time but you didn't care about it, everything would reverse anyways. Right?

"What if you don't find me attractive when I'm older than this or bigger or ..just different" he chuckled but his teeth gritted and a moan escaped his throat as you clenched your walls around him

"You really think a few wrinkles on your beautiful face or a couple of pounds is going to change the way I feel about you?"

"Mmm i hope not" he didn't stop his thrusts until he had you a quivering mess, as he laid you down on the bed you were just staring at him with a dazed look on your face,

"God I'd never get enough of you" you whispered as your lips lingered over his mouth for a moment before you kissed him passionately.

"I'd never want that either sweetheart " he looked down at you, he can try all the positions in the world with you but this right here was his favorite of all, your body underneath him and eyes staring back at him with such love and adoration.

"Loo" you mumbled softly so he snapped out of his thoughts and leaned down to kiss you before he hummed "I'm scared"

"I know princess, so am I, but we have to do this. I can not lose you, I can't take such a risk" you nodded as he said that but he could still see the saddened look on your face.

"What if something happens and we aren't at the right place at the right time? What would happen to us then?" Your eyes welled up again so he cupped your cheeks and kissed you before he smiled.

"My love, no matter where in the world we are, eventually we will cross each other's path..I'll make sure of it. A moment so absolute where you'd would be eager and desperate to fall so deeply in love with me..just like this, you were made for me darling and I'll find you anywhere, anytime..i promise "

He kissed you tenderly and then he pulled away, a sudden look of confusion flashed across his beautiful features.

"That is strange" he mumbled and it made you giggle.

"What ..kissing me?"

"No..I uhhh ..just this moment we had just now..i have had a dream similar to this in the previous timeline..not same but similar..I always thought it was just us from the future" you hummed as he said that.

"It's a time loop Loki ..i understand it much better now"

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you snuggled him into you, one last time before you'd lose him again, you didn't even know how long you will have to go without him or when you'll see him again..it could be five years or ten or even twenty, you just hoped he'd find you before you're too old to love him the way he deserved, you wanted more time with him, you wanted forever.

Time was disintegrating so both of you had decided to go through the ritual the very next day, however this time you weren't really fixing the timeline but yourselves, the spell that sorcerer supreme was using would keep you in the same timeline but you won't remember the last few months in the way you did now, you'd remember it the way you were supposed to live it and so will everyone else around you.

She wasn't reversing the timeline again, she was barely fixing your time, she was fixing the mess Strange had caused with his spell. You'd wake up in the same time but your life will be completely different. She was going to make you forget each other. Or that's what you thought she was going to do. You didn't know the complete truth, he didn't tell you.

Before you could go through the ritual you wrote an important mail to Mark Johnson and asked him to send it to someone very important immediately. You needed it to be sent before the ritual, you had made sure to use an anonymous mail but you called him at the hospital to ensure that mail would get sent. Afterall he won't really remember you and you definitely won't remember him.

"I'll always love you lo, no matter where I am or even if I don't remember I just know my heart will always belong to you, it will never belong to anyone else"

His eyes teared up as you hugged him tightly, he wished he could have prevented this somehow but he knew he had to do this to protect you and your loved ones.

"And one more thing lo--" you mumbled softly and his brows furrowed

"Time was never wrong between me and you..it was always right..it was always pure and it was beautiful"

Just like last time you all sat down in a circle, he had kept his eyes on you before his world shifted right in front of his eyes, one moment he was there with you with your hands clutching onto his and the next moment he was in a prison cell in Asgard.

The spell had worked and it had worked the way he wanted it to work.

"When the time comes, you'd go see her and then you can make her remember everything you want.. before that you can not intervene no matter what" The ancient one warned him so he nodded, his eyes welled up at the thought but he knew he didn't want to live without your memories, he wanted to keep it, he wanted to remember you so he could make you remember him when the time comes, he was terrified of the pain that he will have to endure in the next few years but he was ready for it.

That's how he was destined to suffer.

A lone tear spilled from his eye as he sat down on the cold floor of the cell wishing that he was sleeping in your arms instead but he knew he couldn't afford that no more, he knew he won't get to see you, touch you or kiss you for the next seven years.

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Taglist

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@cosniffee @lotsoflokilove23 @oreo-cream @aesonmae @salvinaa

[satancopilotsmytardis]

How about, an asylum/psychiatric AU?

They got tossed into one before they managed to become villains? :))

Trigger Warning: Very brief mention of suicide (faked)

So Magne, Dabi, Toga, Twice, and Shigaraki are in a large psychiatric facility. Shigaraki and Toga have been in the facility the longest since their families had them locked up as soon as their quirks manifested. Dabi got sent there shortly after he turned eighteen when his father realized he was going to say something about his mom also being locked up/was going to out Todoroki secrets and staged it so it looked like he tried to kill himself/was a danger to others (possibly even staging it so Shoto blamed his brother for his beatings)

Spinner is an orderly and Compress is a psychiatrist who looks over most of the wing that Dabi's been put into. He starts one-on-one therapy at first, but Compress quickly determines that aside from some mild anger issues and massive daddy issues, Dabi is not a danger to himself or others as long as he's not overworking his quirk. So he gets integrated into other areas and also joins group therapy with the others.

He has to learn the way that the facility works, but overall, it's not terrible. He definitely thought that it would be more akin to like the horror stories about haunted asylums and horror movies, but this is just a hospital, like the one his mom is at, just not as well-funded.

Toga immediately latches onto him because he's new, and she introduces him to the others, including Spinner who occasionally sneaks them things like their favorite soaps/snacks from the vending machines in the employee breakroom/little things they can't do any damage with. He and Shig fall into at tense holding pattern because what is Duster's problem with him?? But it's just Shig vibrating slightly because he really, really wants to rail Dabi within an inch of his life, but he's in the process of petitioning for his freedom, something he's been working on since his 18th birthday, and he cannot get in trouble while he's working on that.

He does get out and he immediately starts making so much trouble. He gets in contact with the police (and Detective Tsukauchi in particular) to try and get Dabi out and Endeavor's lie to unravel, and through his conversations with him, Rei, and eventually Shoto who understands what he did now and knows it was wrong but always felt helpless to change it, Dabi gets his day in court and it turns into a trial that the entire country is watching with baited breath. Endeavor is found guilty of a laundry list of things, and Dabi is let out and kisses Shigaraki as soon as he steps out of the courtroom.

[darkomoth]

Insomniacs

Chapter 2: Birthday Dinner

Aaron Hotchner x reader

Summary: Pending a full evaluation, you're stuck at home while you heal from your injuries. Hotch is worried and Reid's birthday is around the corner.

Notes: This is sort of a slow burn I guess. Slightly shorter chapter, hope you enjoy! :)

Also uploaded on Ao3 under the same title

Word count: 6.7K

Ch. 1 Ch.3

You were cleared to fly back home but had to spend a little over a week in the hospital while you recovered. They told you that you had a mild concussion, three bruised ribs, and a broken nose. So, ultimately, not as bad as it could have been. 

Still, it didn’t feel awesome. Of course, the doctor recommended that you stay in the hospital for observation for at least 3 weeks, but the sheer thought of being bed-ridden for that long made you pick at your nails. The monotonous hum of the machines and the low volume of the tv combined with the chilly hospital air put you severely on edge. Honestly, they were lucky you made it as long as you did. 

Everyone came to visit you at one point or another, which made you very happy. Penelope had gathered a basket-full of goodies for you which consisted of a teddy bear, many chocolates/candies, a coloring book that was obviously made for children, and three balloons which said, “It’s a Girl!” in pretty pink cursive. 

“They didn’t have any “I’m sorry you were kidnapped and tortured” balloons at CVS...” Garcia had said with a pout. They were appreciated, you assured her.

Spencer had reserved time to read to you, stating that he always felt better when his mom did the same for him as a kid. You’d drift off to the sound of the young doctor's voice who recited line after line from “The Wizard of Oz,” which he knew you loved. 

Derek came by a couple times to drop off food and watch a few episodes of whatever shitty soap opera happened to be on at the time. Somehow, they seemed better quality when he was there. His easy conversation made you relax in the stiff hospital bed and often you found yourself laughing a little too hard, straining your sides and reminding yourself of why you were here to begin with. 

JJ and Emily often visited together, since they were carpooling. They brought personal hygiene items from your apartment and flowers, talked about work and how the team was. “Oh, we’re falling apart without you, for sure.” JJ stated once. It made you smile, though you knew everyone was getting on just fine. 

Rossi wasn’t super talkative, but you were used to that. His company was welcome in the late hours when the ticking clock made you want to rip your hair out. He cooked some really good pasta, but you suspected it may have been take-out. Rossi denied it completely. 

Hotch was there more than anyone else, however. You could hear him pacing outside your door some nights, like he was debating on whether to come in. He always did after knocking gently on your door, which you eagerly answered.  

He’d sit by your side and ask how you were feeling, and you would answer the same way every time with a smile, “Like a million bucks.” It made him scoff and shake his head a little, though you knew he found it a little funny. After several minutes of small talk, his hand would search for yours and you would accept it with a small smile. Hotch wasn’t accustomed to doing nothing either, so he’d fidget. He’d check on your vitals, request an extra blanket, crack open the window for fresh air, or pace whenever you did succumb to sleep. 

Your request to go home was granted, but not to return to work. That would take at least another two weeks. Hotch thought even that was pushing it, though.  

“I’m seriously fine, Hotch. See, look,” You said, crumbling some trash into a ball so that you could toss it into a nearby trash can. You got it in one shot. “Look at that coordination,” You laughed, nudging his side softly. 

Hotch only stared at you, seemingly unamused. “That is not a good measurement of capability.”  

The two of you were walking out of the hospital, and you felt a heaviness lift off your shoulders as you passed though the automatic sliding doors. Finally, you were back to the real world. JJ and Emily brought you your own clothes which made you feel like yourself again and not some lab rat. The sun was warm on your skin, and you took a deep breath the moment you were outside. It made you forget about how you must’ve looked still, with a black eye and purple bruises littered across your cheek and neck.

The team had another case already, but Hotch stated he would be catching up with everyone as soon as he made sure that you got home safe. That set off a feeling of butterflies in your stomach which you tried to push away. That was genuinely the last thing you should be thinking about right now.  

“Well, what is a good measurement?” You ask, turning towards him and looking up into his eyes. They were already trained on you, stoic and resolute as always. 

“Your evaluation is scheduled in 12 days from now.” He says, impassively. 

You don’t try to stop the groan that escapes you, “That’s so long.” The two of you make it to Hotch’s car, he opens the passenger side door for you and holds onto your upper arm to help you inside, it sends a pleasant chill up your arm. You wince in pain as you change from an upright position to sitting, and Hotch notices. 

“Are you alright?” He hovers next to you as you reach for the seatbelt. Your ribs were actually on fire, but you nodded in response, not trusting your voice at the moment. Hotch looks at you skeptically for a second, hands twitching at his sides, before closing the door and making his way to the driver's seat. 

He looked good, you thought. Hotch was in his usual suit, but no jacket or tie, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and you tried not to let your eyes linger for too long. Halfway through the drive, he speaks again. “You should’ve stayed at the hospital.” 

You look over at him again, his eyes are fixed on the road and his face neutral, but his hand grips the steering wheel tightly. “I couldn’t take another minute of that place.” You say, a little bitterly. 

Hotch glances at you but turns his attention back to driving. “I know... still.” He sighs like he’s resigned to the fact that you’re very stubborn and almost always get your way in the end. “How’s the pain?” 

Over the past week, Hotch has checked in on your pain level. He’d ask where you were from 1-10; 1 meant almost no pain, 10 meant it was unbearable. Typically, you’d say 3/4, maybe 5 on a bad day, but if you were being honest, 4 meant 6 and 5 meant 9. If Hotch noticed that you were lying, he didn’t say anything. 

“Mm, 5.” You mumbled in response. 

He only nodded, making sure to keep his eyes forward. A few seconds pass, as if he’s debating if he should speak again. Eventually he does. “Are you sure?” His voice is tentative and soft now, “You’ve been controlling your breathing and clutching your side.”

You release your side in response and take a deep breath as if to prove a point, “I’m sure.”

Hotch doesn’t say anything for the rest of the drive. When he pulls into the parking lot of your apartment complex, he prevents you from opening your door. “Stop, I’ll get it.”

“Hotch, you really don’t need to-“ You were cut off by the sound of the driver side door shutting closed. When he makes his way around to the passenger side, you were looking at him disapprovingly. “I can open a door.” You mutter as he opens it and offers a hand.

“I’m certain you can.” Is all he says in response, not budging from his spot. With a small sigh and a suppressed smile, you take his hand and hop out of your seat.

You notice how close Hotch is to you, the way he’s put himself between you and the rest of the lot. It’s intimate in a strange way, his hand is still in yours even though you were fully stable now. Your heartbeat quickens in the way that it does when he’s near and you fidget.

Hotch probably noticed your behavior because he lets you go immediately, turning towards the trunk of the car that has your go-bag. He grabs it and starts walking with you to your door. You want to protest again, tell him that you were okay and capable of doing normal, everyday things like carrying your bag, but you decide against it. You know that nothing you say is going to change Hotch’s mind so you allow yourself the moment to enjoy his company. 

“I can handle it from here.” You say once you open your door and step inside. The apartment was fairly empty, save for the sparse furniture and fake plants that sat on your windowsills. As you move to grab your bag from Hotch, a sharp sting shoots up your right side and makes you still. “Ahhh,” You hiss in pain. 

“Y/N?” Hotch asks worriedly, holding his hands out for you to grab onto if you needed. “Are you alright?”

With your hands clutching onto him, you take a second to regain stability and test your breathing, “Mhm… sorry.” You let him go and decide to lean against the island counter in your kitchen instead, but he continues to hover. “It comes and goes.”

“Where’s the painkillers the hospital provided?” Hotch asks, setting down your bag on the counter next to you and rummaging through the side zippers. You don’t have a chance to respond before he finds them. “Here,” He says, as he drops two pills into his hand, “hold onto these, I’ll get some water.”

He hands them to you, and the warmth of his hand is comforting. You hold them and watch as he moves freely around your kitchen, searching for your glassware. It was strange, but not unpleasant, to see your boss inside your home moving around like he’s been here a hundred times. Almost domestic. You shook the thought from your head and took a seat in one of the barstools. Shortly after, Hotch slides over a glass of water across from you.

“Thanks.” You say and down the pills with a gulp of water.

Hotch is looking at you with an unreadable expression, it makes you shift in your seat and take a few more sips of water to distract yourself.

“You need rest and plenty of water…” Hotch trails off, like he wants to say more but doesn’t. Then, like he can’t take it anymore, he moves around the counter to be next to you. “I’m sorry.”

He’s so close again, even taller than usual since you’re sitting. You have to crane your neck to look up at him, his expression has softened from earlier. Confused by what he said you replied, “What are you sorry for?”

Hotch sighs a little, his jaw is tense. “I shouldn’t have sent you away.”

You didn’t know what to say at first, struck by the way he was acting. It was very unlike himself to display any sort of unprofessional behavior, and this was definitely not professional. You furrow your brows and hesitantly reach out to place your hand on his.

“You were doing your job. I shouldn’t have gone to the park, I knew the risks and did it anyway.” You say, trying your best to keep your beating heart under control at Hotch’s proximity.

He looked just past you, not meeting your eyes and shook his head, “I was worried I may never see you again.” Hotch seemed genuinely distraught at his own words, it made your gut twist in an unpleasant way.

“Hotch… Aaron.” The sound of his first name finally made him meet your eyes. You smiled up at him, “You’re not gonna get rid of me that easily.”

It felt tense in the room now, you were used to the team being all together, interrupting moments like these and pulling you back down to reality. But now it was just you and Hotch, and he wasn’t pulling away.

“I-“ Hotch starts, but a loud ringing cuts him off. He closes his eyes for a moment, obviously upset at the interruption, but he answers anyway. “Hotchner.” He pulls back and paces a few feet away from you.

You know that whatever was being said, it wasn’t good and by the look on Hotch’s face and the furrow of his brows, it was probably minutes before he’d be out the door. When he hung up, he looked over at you sympathetically. 

“Go on, boss. I’m good.” You say, trying to ease the stress that was evident in his frown.

Hotch’s hands twitch at his sides again and you make a mental note of it. He tends to do that when he’s considering his next move. Ultimately, he nods and strides to your front door, pausing when his hand lands on the doorknob.

“We’ll be in Pennsylvania. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call.” Hotch says, regretfully.

“Can I call even if I don’t need anything?” You ask, trying to lighten the mood.

He gives you one of his rare smiles, “Yes, Agent.”

-

Hotch left Y/N’s apartment with a mix of emotions. He wasn’t sure if she was truly alright. Mentally, maybe, the events with Mazdin didn’t seem to wreck her emotional state, she still joked and smiled at him which was a good sign. Physically, though, was another story. 

One of her tells that Hotch caught early on when she were hired was deflection. He’d ask if she was okay, she'd ask if he was. If she answered, it was quick, as if she were afraid to elaborate too much and make herself seem suspicious. He knew that she was in pain and afraid to show it in case it affected her return to the BAU.

Y/N’s fear was unwarranted, though. Hotch was counting down the days of her return despite knowing she needed time to heal. It was difficult to leave after having spent the last week checking in on her, keeping her company.

One day when he paced outside her hospital door, unable to stay still, Y/N called out his name. “Hotch, just come in, you’re stressing me out. And I need help changing the channel.” Her voice was still strained but he could tell she was smiling. It calmed his worries about intruding on her, and from that point on he didn’t linger outside as much. 

It was still difficult to see her covered in bruises and looking at him like he was the only person she wanted to see. Her black eye was getting better, the swelling had gone down considerably, but she had a dark ring underneath that was an ever-present reminder of what happened. The lines on her neck were barely starting to fade, still an angry-red color, and the bandages surrounding her torso hid the damage beneath, but Hotch knew that bruised ribs were serious injuries. Any time he thought about it, he felt a little sick.

After everything that he’s seen in the BAU, nothing compares to having a teammate go through something that traumatic. Regardless, Hotch knew that she was recovering. Even if it wasn’t at the hospital with trained professionals, he thought bitterly.

His phone rang again as he was driving towards the office, “Hotchner.”

“I had a thought.” Y/N’s voice rang out from his speaker and his frown softened a little.

“Yes?”

“I may not be able to be in the field, but if you send me the case files I can work on it from here.”

Hotch should’ve expected that one. With a shake of his head he responds, “You need to focus on getting better, not causing yourself stress.”

“No, you don’t get it. If I’m left alone with literally nothing to do for longer than 30 minutes, I’ll lose it.” Her voice was coming out rushed, he could tell she was either pacing or tapping her fingers nervously. The image made the corners of his mouth turn up a little.

A few seconds passed with silence, Hotch debating what the best thing to do was in this situation. “If you promise to take care of yourself… I’ll have Garcia send over the paperwork within the hour.”

“Thank you thank you thank you!” Y/N said excitedly. “Oh- also, I wanted to remind you of Reid’s birthday, it’s Friday.”

Hotch laughs at that, “Yes, I did actually remember.”

“Okay great, because I was thinking the team could get together that day and celebrate. Either at the bar or maybe Rossi’s since it’s bigger…” Y/N says, sounding like she’s just thinking out loud.

“I’ll discuss it with everyone, though you really shouldn’t be leaving your home-“

“Yeah, yeah I know but you only turn 29 once and I want to see Reid’s face when I give him his “Happy 30th Birthday” card.” She replies.

Hotch tries his best not to laugh and give her the satisfaction. “Well, in that case. I’ll get back to you about it.”

“Thanks Hotch.”

-

The week actually flies by, to your pleasant surprise. You were often sat on your couch, eating some type of take-out and going over victimology of the team’s case in Lancaster, PA. The unsub was a family annihilator, targeting middle-class families and spending extra time torturing the fathers.

Without being there, you were limited to your access of information, but frequent calls to and from Garcia kept you in the loop. Ultimately, you suggested to the team that the unsub was a father himself and most likely had his children taken away from him at some point.

Of course, you were trying to keep your promise to Hotch and taking care of yourself. That mostly meant drinking at least two cups of water a day and trying your best to fall asleep once the clock read 12:00 am. That second one didn’t work out as well.

Hotch knew that you weren’t sleeping again, given the times you had called him. Since there was no time change between Virginia and Pennsylvania, it was obvious that your insomnia had crept back.

A particular call one night left a bad feeling in your stomach. It was past 1:00 am already, but you knew Hotch would still be up, working. You were proven correct when he answered on the second ring, “Hotchner.”

“I was looking over the night that the Clarkson family was murdered and I noticed something off with the children’s position in the house-“

Hotch cut you off before you could finish, “Agent L/N, you need to go to sleep. Now.” His voice was curt and a little angry, you thought.

“Hotch, I will, but listen to me-“

“No. I’ve allowed you to work remotely under the assumption that you would be prioritizing your health. Now that I know that is not your intention, I’m relieving you of this case.”

For a moment, you were speechless. You winced from the pain in your ribs as you shifted your position at the dining table. “Hotch, I am prioritizing and I have been sleeping, it’s just later in the night.” 

“I will not allow you to continuously jeopardize yourself, if need be I can and will suspend you.” His voice was monotone as always, but you sensed irritation in it. 

“Fine.” Was all you said in response, quickly ending the call and slamming your phone down onto the table in front of you. You can’t remember the last time you were this angry at Hotch. Even though it came from a place of concern, he had no idea how much worse it was for you when you had nothing to preoccupy yourself with.

The nightmares returned very soon after the Mazdin incident. In fact, they were even worse. Before, the dreams would consist of you and the team on a typical case, trying to find an unsub before the clock runs out. You would see image after image of decapitated bodies, mutilated corpses, the faces of missing children. Every time it shook you so badly, you’d wake up in a cold sweat, involuntary tears in your eyes.

After your own kidnapping, you’d dream of that basement. How this must’ve been how all those other girls had felt, terrified that they would never see sunlight again, never hug those closest to them, never have the luxury of another boring day. You’d experience the pain of that night over and over and over again. The feel of the strangers fist connecting to your stomach, face, and ribs was so real, you could practically smell the musty air and taste the blood in your mouth. 

When you were in the hospital, hopped up on painkillers and connected to an IV, you had dreamless sleeps. They felt like temporary comas and you were aching to feel that again. You could feel Hotch next to you, holding your hand and talking but you never made out what was actually being said. It was perfect.

Now, back inside your own apartment alone yet again, not even a case to distract you, the thought of sleep petrified you. You made yourself coffee, did laundry, washed dishes, even cleaned out your closet at one point. Nothing could stop the inevitability of you closing your eyes and being transported back to that night.

You were told by Garcia that the team had caught the unsub just before he was able to take out the Williams family and they were flying back Thursday night. You were glad that everyone was safe and on their way home, but it hurt that you didn’t feel like you could even talk with Hotch now.

You wanted to call and check in on him since you knew how hard he took family annihilator cases. Still, you didn’t reach for your phone. You would be seeing them all tomorrow, anyways. It was decided by Reid that Rossi’s place would be better than any public outing, so the team had made a plan to meet there at 6:00 pm Friday night.

Throughout the year, you tended to buy things for the team. Small gifts, anything that stuck out to you that someone may like, and you kept them for birthdays and holidays. So when you came across a dusty antique bookstore during one of your cases in New York several months ago, you knew you had to look around. You found the most incredibly bound and gorgeous hardback copy of ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’ by Oscar Wilde and just knew it’d make a great gift for boy-genius.

You also happened upon an old collection of classic vinyl records, with dozens of artists varying from Frank Sinatra to Harry Belafonte and you had to get it. Not for you, but you knew one very serious Unit Chief that loved oldies.

-

By the time that Friday morning rolled around, Hotch hadn’t spoken to Y/N in over 48 hours. It put him a little on edge, he was too used to seeing her every day, hearing her voice asking how he was. He knew it was his fault for snapping at her the way he did, but he couldn’t take another night of worrying about her. He had enough to deal with already.

She had called him at least twice a day every day that they were in Pennsylvania, offering some of her insight. It was welcome most of the time, especially after they’d hit a wall in their investigation. Y/N not being on the scene allowed for a unique outside perspective. But Hotch wasn’t going to allow her to compromise her health for the job.

He debated calling her several times and it just never happened. Either he would get busy or he’d rationalize that she didn’t want to hear from him, but they were all excuses. So he decided to bite the bullet and dial her number when he finally settled into his office that morning.

“L/N.” Was all she said when she finally picked up. Usually, when she noticed it was Hotch calling, she would answer the phone with a “Hey Boss” or some variation of it. The change made him look down at his desk with a frown.

“Hey…” Hotch said, completely forgetting the reason he had come up with for calling so early. “I wanted to check in with you, see how you were… will you be coming to Rossi’s tonight?” He scolds himself internally for sounding so unsure of himself.

“Well, yeah, I wouldn’t miss it.” She said as if it were obvious. He supposed it was, seeing as the get-together was her suggestion. “Was there anything else?” She asked after a minute.

Hotch wanted to ask what her pain level was, if she had actually slept since the last time they spoke, and quite a few other things, but instead he shook his head a little, “No. We’ll see you there.” He hung up quickly after that, a sinking feeling in his stomach.

Several hours of paperwork later and Hotch was finally leaving for the day. He arrived at Rossi’s mansion at 5:50 pm, noticing that he was not the first. Morgan and Prentiss’ cars were both there, and he was relieved that Y/N hadn’t shown up just yet. He was still trying to figure out what he was going to say to her.

As he rung the doorbell, he could hear talking and laughing inside. “Answer that, would you?” Rossi’s voice could be heard echoing from the kitchen. A couple seconds later he heard footsteps and then Y/N was there, holding the door open.

She was stunning. Her usual work clothes were nice and complemented her, but Hotch had never seen her like this. She wore a mid-length, off the shoulder gown with long sleeves, it was black with a lace trim. Her makeup was done but it wasn’t a lot, he suspected it was to cover up the remaining discoloration from that night. Her hair was done in a different way that he’d never seen before, and she was so gorgeous.

It took a moment before Hotch could speak, “I brought wine.” He holds the bottle out to her and she takes it with a small smile and nod. As she walks away with it towards the kitchen and he follows, he thinks about what the hell was wrong with him. 

“Ahh, Aaron, this is perfect.” Rossi says as Y/N hands him the bottle of red. “Why don’t you all take a seat, the rest of the team is on their way and the food will be ready shortly.”

Morgan and Prentiss were hovering around the island counter, also dressed up in less than casual outfits.

“What’s up man?” Morgan asks as he makes his way over to Hotch, “Didn’t you bring a gift for wonder boy?”

“Spencer’s gift is all of the paperwork he does not have to do for the next three days.” He responds, shrugging off his blazer.

“Aw, that’s sweet,” Prentiss says, “does that extend to the rest of the team?”

“What you guys get is his workload.” Hotch says with a growing smile.

A collective groan is heard as everyone takes their seats. Y/N is still in the kitchen, helping Rossi with kneading some type of dough. He tries not to glance over too often, but it’s hard not to. She’s laughing at something Rossi’s said and the smile on her face is infectious. 

Hotch notices how she’s still favoring her right side, moving only when she has to. Her breathing is controlled and her posture is purposefully casual. She’s certainly gotten better since the last time he’s seen her, but she’s not fully healed and he resists the urge to go speak to her about it.

“So, what’s for dinner?” Emily asks.

Y/N responds before Rossi can, “Burrata Caprese Gnocchi with balsamic bruschetta and garlic bread.” She shares a look with Rossi who smiles at her.

“Sounds amazing.” Emily says just as the doorbell rings.

JJ, Penelope, and Reid were all at the door, which Hotch answered this time, beating Y/N to it. 

“There’s the birthday boy!” Derek said, getting up to give Spencer a hug.

“I really don’t think the word ‘boy’ accurately describes my age anymore.” He replies, returning the hug a little hesitantly. 

“Ah, come on Spence, you’re still the second youngest agent in the team.” JJ says, pointedly looking at Y/N from where she still stood in the kitchen.

“Hey, I am not much younger than him.” She says defensively. Hotch smiles at the interaction.

“Well, regardless,” Penelope cuts in, taking Reid’s arm in hers, “you are still the residing genius of the BAU, myself excluded.”

“Well, thank you very much.” Hotch hears Spencer mutter as he’s dragged along to the dining room with everyone else.

Rossi commanded that everyone help set the table as the last bit of dinner was being prepared. Y/N was moving around seemingly effortlessly, stirring something in a pot and then pulling bread out of the oven. Hotch thought she looked very graceful, until she must’ve turned the wrong way and she stilled completely.

Y/N clutched the edge of the counter like she had back at her apartment last week and Hotch stopped passing plates around. He watched as she excused herself to the restroom and after a second of deliberating, he followed.

The light underneath the bathroom door was on and Hotch knocked on it lightly, “Y/N?” There was no response for a minute. “Hey, are you okay? Please open the door.”

Another few seconds went by with no sound and he was thinking maybe he should just go back to the dining room when the door unlocked and swung open a fraction. Hotch took that as an invitation to open it fully and walk in.

Y/N was leaning against the bathroom sink, hand on her side and eyes closed. “What do you need?” He asks, hands clenching at his sides, not sure if he should reach out and touch her.

“Um…” Her breath shakes slightly, “If you could, my bag has my medication, I left it out there.”

“Of course. I’ll be right back.” It took Hotch less than a minute to go out into the living area, find her bag with the painkillers and bring them back to the bathroom. He knocks twice before entering, “Here.”

“Thank you.” Y/N says, taking them with a mouthful of tap water.

“How’s the pain?” It’s a long shot that she’ll even continue speaking to him, but Hotch doesn’t feel like leaving her alone like this.

“Uh, a 6.” She looks at him finally, and his frown deepens. She’s never actually gone past 5, and he knew 5 was bad. “It’s okay, really, I think I just strained my side while cooking.”

Hotch nods, but he doesn’t feel reassured. “Well, I’ll help you to the table, and please don’t move again unless you have to.” He thinks that she wants to argue but that would take energy she doesn’t have, so she allows him to wrap an arm around her waist. She leans against him and he inhales her scent, it’s warm and sweet, like cinnamon he thinks.

If anyone noticed the way the two of them walked out together, no one said anything. The team wasn’t oblivious, they knew Y/N was in pain as well, and that she wouldn’t want to speak about it. Especially tonight when it was about celebrating a fellow teammate.

Hotch set her down in a seat directly next to him, his hand lingering where it had been a moment before. Rossi was passing around the main course and the conversation had been redirected to Spencer’s weekend plans.

“I’ll be in Vegas for the next couple days. I’ve been meaning to visit my mom but haven’t really had the time.” He says as he grabs two pieces of garlic bread.

“That’s nice.” Emily says, taking a sip of her wine. “I would rather be working than visit my mother on my birthday.”

“Cheers to that,” Rossi says, also taking a sip.

Everyone raises their glasses, Y/N included. Her face gives no indication that the movement bothers her at all. She takes a sip and rests the glass back down where she starts tapping nervously on it and Hotch knows the meds haven’t kicked in just yet.

“Time for gifts!” Penelope yells excitedly and claps her hands, getting up from her spot after everyone had finished with their meals.

Y/N makes a move to stand up, but Hotch catches her wrist before she can. He shakes his head and says, low enough so that no one else can hear, “Don’t even think about it.”

She gives him a look but doesn’t try to shift out of her seat again. His hand stays on her for a moment longer under the table and she doesn’t try to pull away.

“Well then, would you mind grabbing the gift I brought over on the counter?” Y/N practically whispers.

Hotch has to clear his throat before responding, “Of course.” He’s up in a second, already missing the warm contact. He locates the present with white wrapping paper that was covered in gold stars, attached to it was a card that said “You’re 30!” on the cover with a picture of an cartoon senior citizen underneath the text. The sight made him laugh under his breath.

“Open mine first, please.” JJ says, handing over a rather large bag to Reid.

As he grabs it, Hotch takes his spot back next to Y/N. Spencer is ripping out the tissue paper until he reaches the gift. He pulls it out with a gasp, “Ohhh no way.”

In his hands is a model replica of the USS Enterprise from Star Trek, and by the way he was holding it, it seemed fairly heavy. Hotch smiled at the Doctor’s reaction and noticed that Y/N did too. The corners of her eyes crinkled with her grin and he wanted to lean down, just a few inches so that he could come face-to-face with her. He thought about brushing her hair out of her face, behind her ear. He would tilt her head back until she couldn’t go any further, then lean down closer, closer…

Hotch was snapped out of his thoughts by Y/N’s voice. “That one’s from me and Aaron.”

He looked at Spencer, who had the gift in his hands. “I am not thirty years old.” He tossed the offending card down onto the table and the sound of laughter filled the room from everyone.

“Is there something wrong with being thirty?” Derek asks, feigning offense.

“No, I’m just stating the fact that I am not actually thirty years old, I have another 364 days before I reach that milestone, in fact-“

“Just open the present!” Emily says, laughing.

“Okay.” Reid does as he’s told and unfolds the wrapping paper carefully. When he’s done, a hardcover book lays in his hands, but Hotch can’t make out the title. It seemed to make Spencer very happy though, if his widening smile was any indication. “Where did you find this!”

“New York, that case where we were snowed into our hotel and couldn’t leave for an extra week. Gave us time to look around.” Y/N said, making brief eye contact with Hotch. She was keeping up the ruse that he had helped in picking out Reid’s gift.

“You know, out of all of Oscar Wilde’s books, I’ve read this one the most,” Finally Hotch could make out the title ‘The Importance of Being Earnest,’ “it’s actually very short but it’s masterfully done, almost no other author compares from this century.”

“You’ve mentioned it a few times.” Y/N says.

“Thank you both, very much. This is great.” Spencer replies. 

Hotch tries not to look at her again, he’s not sure what he’ll do if he does. His professional nature was slipping with each sip of wine.

Another few minutes of Reid opening gifts goes by and they were all very thoughtful. Rossi gave him a new suit jacket, Italian made of course. From Garcia, he received several doctor who related items including the full series on blue-ray. Emily got him an iPod, mostly so that he would stop playing his music out loud on long car rides, she explained. Lastly, Derek stated that his friendship was gift enough. Though, later Hotch discovered Morgan had already given Reid a certificate for an all-expenses paid stay at a resort in the Bahamas which was run by a good friend of his.

The night ended on a good note, everyone was buzzed and in deep conversation. Hotch never left Y/N’s side. She seemed to be doing significantly better than earlier, no longer wincing at every move and engaging with the teams banter.

As everyone started to trickle out, Hotch turned towards her. “Do you need a ride?” He hadn’t noticed her car when he got here and it was unlikely that she could drive home in her state anyway.

“Oh, Emily drove me-“ Y/N said, looking around for their friend, who was nowhere to be found.

“I don’t mind, your apartment’s on the way.” Hotch replied, hoping she would say yes. He needed just a few more minutes with her. She looked up at him like she was debating it, eventually pursing her lips and nodding.

“Okay, thank you.”

The two of them said their goodbyes to those remaining, Y/N gave Spencer a hug and wished him Happy Birthday once more before they made their way outside towards Hotch’s car.

Hotch made sure to keep an eye on the way she moved, ready to support her if she needed, but it was unnecessary, she seemed to be fine. He made his way over to the passenger side door and opened it swiftly.

Y/N laughs a little, “Such a gentleman.”

Hotch smiles back and closes the door after she’s settled. Once they’re on the road, he remembers everything that he’s been meaning to say.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know?” He says lightheartedly.

“Do what?” She asks with that little crease between her brows. His hand tightened around the steering wheel just slightly.

“The gift for Spencer. I had no idea about it.”

“Oh, right… Well the no paperwork thing was nice. I know he appreciates it.” She says with a smile. This is torture, Hotch thinks. She’s so close to him, literally less than a foot but he can’t do anything. 

“About the phone call-“

“Hotch, don’t, I already know.” Y/N says, as if she was expecting this conversation all night. “I know I still have five days until my evaluation and if tonight was any indication, I’m still not really to be in the field yet.”

He was glad that she knew that, at least. But his intention wasn’t to scold her all the way back to her home, “Y/N, please let me… I didn’t mean to insinuate that your help wasn’t appreciated on this last case, it was.” She doesn’t say anything in response, just looks over at him with questioning eyes. “I need you to know that everything I do, everything, is for the well-being of this team.”

“I know that, Hotch-“

“Then you know that I would do anything for you.” He cuts her off, but doesn’t take take his eyes off the road, even for a second.

The tension in the car feels high, but Hotch can’t tell if only he can feel it. The seconds that go by without Y/N’s response is agonizing.

“I do know that.” Her voice is softer, almost far away. “And I would do anything for you.”

The words make his shoulder’s slump in relief, he dares to glance her way. She’s looking at him in a way he’s never seen before, a little sad maybe, but smiling. He’s tempted to pull the car over to the side of the road for a few minutes.

“You just passed my place.” Y/N says then.

“I know.”

[hedgiwithapen]

Inspired by this https://www.tumblr.com/godzillalover/758711049782427648/ricks-dad-wasnt-dead-just-in-a-coma-does-that, rex wakes up when pat or rick are visiting him

“I still can’t believe Dr. King was some kind of criminal mastermind.”  Bridgit Chapel said, processing more of Beth’s promised explanation of what had been going on in Blue Valley for nearly a decade, and what specifically had been going on with Beth for the last 7 months.  “Your Dad’s old boss, though, I can see that.”

“In hindsight,” James agreed, “closing down and buying up small businesses to put under one umbrella is villain behavior.” “But Dr. King? You know he was always the first one to  take on cases other doctors in other cities turned down, said there was nothing anyone could do, and it wasn’t just about the money or the fame. First to point people towards financial assistance, took a paycut before any of the nurses, and he sat in with John at least once a week, just to talk to him, keep him company. I can’t reconcile…” “Well, he was already rich from, you know, years of crime,” Beth said, “and would have wanted to keep a low profile. Again, because of the years of crime thing.  Who’s John?” Her parents didn’t talk about there jobs nearly as much as they had when she was younger, but she couldn’t place a John as one of her Mom’s coworkers. “Oh, he isn’t my department. A patient in the longterm care ward. Been in a coma with minimal brain activity for years. Five? No, longer than that. Poor man, no identity, no family…” Beth frowned.  There probably wasn’t an evil conspiracy lurking behind every door, manhole cover, and coincidence in Blue Valley. But there was some kind of conspiracy lurking behind about 60% of doors, manhole covers, and coincidences in Blue Valley. “Well, Dr. King was super evil, like… really really bad. So I should probably check that out.” At her parents’ Look, Beth amended. “ the Justice Society  should. Tomorrow? How about nine?  I’ll let Pat know.” She didn’t give her parents room to push back, but the words ‘Justice Society’  worked their magic.

Pat had been the first to recognize John Doe. Of course, Beth had only ever seen him in a hologram, and he looked different now, hooked up to machines. But Pat only took one look at him. “Rex,” he breathed. Beth pulled on her goggles, sending a text to Rick first-- I’m at the hospital, get here now. And then canning the patient. “He’s not dying,” she said, trying to sort through the data Chuck fed her. “He’s just… stuck. It’s like …” “Like what happened to Brainwave,” Pat agreed. “I guess Chuck never scanned him, though…and we never did learn how he woke up.” “Uh, I think Henry woke him up. Which… also doesn’t help.” Beth winced. “So what do we do. Did the JSA have a, a cure for….. Oh.” A file on Brainwave opened up in her green tinted vision, boiling down to a sharp ‘no.’ “‘Fraid not,” Pat said, reaching to pull a chair out so he could sit.  “Hey, Rex. I don’t know if you can hear me, but uh. It’s your old pal, Stripesy.” Beth went to look at the chart, hoping Chuck could piece together something-- or rather, that Charles could, and let her know.  Maybe Jakeen could make a wish? Risky, Chuck told her, but possible. Beth went to sit herself when the door slammed open. Rick panted in the doorway, hands braced on his knees, his face red from excursion. “Beth? Are you ok? What happened?  Who attacked you--” “Oops,” Beth  said. “ no, no, I’m fine! It’s just--did you run here? Up all those stairs? You could have taken the elevator.”

“I thought you were hurt! You said-- if you’re not hurt then why…”

“Rick,” Pat interrupted. “Come sit… with your father.”

“My--” Rick stopped, staring at the hospital bed. “Dad?” he finished hoarsley.

Rex didn’t move.  Rick stared.

“How?” he asked the air.

“Brainwave,” Pat said. “He must have thought he could get JSA secrets or something…didn’t realize that he’d already sent me his book. That he’d already hidden you.”

Rick’s knees buckled. Beth shoved herself under his shoulder to support him while Pat vacated his chair.

“Is he… okay? Is he going to wake up?” he demanded.

“Without Brainwave keeping him in a coma… he should wake up.” Beth offered. “ That’s what Chuck says.”

“Yeah, but it’s been months! We beat that guy ages ago, shouldn’t he have woken up by now?”

“Think about Justin,” Pat tried. “It took til he knew he was with… well, me, before he healed from whatever Brainwave did. Maybe he just needs to know he’s safe. It may not be exact proven science but…”

“But it’s what we’ve got, right?” Rick asked. “Just… hope he wakes up?”

“Hope’s a pretty strong thing, Rick.” Pat gave him a small smile. 

Rick pulled the hourglass chain from around his neck. “And so’s this.” He looked at Beth, waiting for a heartbeat to see if she understood and disapproved, but she nodded. Carefully, Rick arranged the fine gold chain, careful of the tubing, and turned the glass over.  The sand gleamed.  Rick waited, holding his breath.

Rex’s eyes flickered open.

[n3kk1tty]

Hi ! I've seen your tlbxsoul eater au and, being a fan of both, I got to say I really love it ! Micheal, being his one-man army looks badass, and I love imagining Star and Mura dancing across the battlefield and gracefully killing baddies. Love it ! 😀

Inspired by this, I've wondered if you got any AU-related hc about Sam and the Frog brothers? Assuming the brothers are both weapons, what kind do you think they would be ? Did they rope Sam into being their meister, a bit how they gave him the comic books in canon? Would be funny 😁

Also, why do I feel like these three would be liable to go find *shudder* Excalibur?

Edgar and Allen of course roped Sam into being their meister. Set to be first years in the academy soon they were desperately begging people to take the role. But who really wants to partner with two comic nerds with a passion for army stuff. One day while Sam is practically hounding Michael about how he became a two star Meister so quickly after his old partner dumped him. *ouch* The frogs are quickly intrigued by the conversation as they snoop at a table next to the brothers pretending to read newspapers.

" Hey it's not like it's uncommon for weapons and meisters to not work out. And for your information dweeb Mura didn't dump me we both decided we weren't good for eachother. Look she's doing way better now she hit two stars before me so why don't you go bug her and buzz off. " Michael slumps in his chair chugging his drink at the cafe as his brother stares at him. " She's a weapon not a meister! When I asked Star about it she said something like soul wavelengths were like a dance and you needed a partner who could hear the music you were playing so they could dance with you. Obviously that doesn't help me! Michael you can synchronize with four different weapons and use them all at the same time! How can you not know what pointers to give me to matching wavelengths with a weapon. "

Michael grumbles at the mention of his four idiots who were probably off picking fights with Mura or getting into trouble. Wiping his brow and adjusting his shades he stares Sam down. " Why don't you ask Mom or grandpa. Both of them were excellent Meisters. I can't really give you pointers on matching wavelengths if you can't even find a weapon who will even try partnering with you. " Sam throws his hands into his hair frustrated. Why couldn't it be easy to just find weapons! He lived in death City now for peat sake was their no one in this town who wasn't already partnered up for the academy already! Sam was running out of time and he was getting desperate. It would be so embarrassing to show up on the first day with no partner.

As Michael takes a sip from his drink like a fifth sense tingling he looks over the cafe's balcony edge to see Marco and Paul chasing after Mura again as she's running away from the pair groceries in tow. Were those two perverts serious could they not chase skirts for one afternoon! " HEY JACKOFFS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?!" Michael quickly slams money on the table from his pocket telling Sam he will be back as his brother jumps off the balcony to chase down his two dumbasses before they got fucked up before there next mission. It was only a matter of time before Mura would put them in the hospital again.

Sam sighs taking a sip of his drink watching the brawl ensue below before a set of hands slams on the table before him. " We're the frog brothers we hear your a Meister?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's exactly how the three's first meeting goes.

It's weird how the Emerson brothers always seem to get the best partners when they're bullied into something.

Edgar's weapon form is a Rambo style knife.

He's able to do close range combat and can extend the blade using condensed soul wavelengths.

Allen's weapon form is a Vietnam War style machine gun.

Sam can shoot shots with one hand if he needs to but it does the most damage when he has some distance between opponents and can line up accurate shots.

With the frog brothers by his side Sam is really keeping the family tradition of being a one man army alive.

Sam may be more of an assassin style fighter but don't try and pull one over on him he can handle himself in close combat just fine as Allen can help point out vital spots for him to hit while using Edgar.

They achieve this by using there shared consciousness through soul resonance to share the images so no communication can be used against them while fighting the enemy.

Sam is quick as well. Wether that be from fleeing an area after his shot. Or erasing his and the frog brothers presence to sneak up on kieshen souls.

While not on missions they are goofing off reading comics together. If it wasn't for Allen there collective grades would be terrible.

Speaking of Comics and Excalibur. They were reading this comic book about the holy sword and they thought it would be a wonderful idea if they could join it to their party. How they would blast past Star and Micheal in their greatness as a group.

Taking the long track to find the holy sword the three all but made it there alive surprisingly mostly by having Edgar scale the cliff with Allen in weapon form and Sam on his back.

After Edgar and Allen stood nervously by Sam's side ready to add a fourth to their group as soon as Sam pulled it from the stone they all three wished they never had eardrums.

It took everything in Sam's body not to stab his ear drums out while Allen was busy trying to prevent Edgar from water boarding the weird small talkative creature.

Faces turned in cringe as soon as Excalibur stopped talking and turned into a sword Sam jammed it so far in the stone he hoped it never escaped.

The three Scooby Doo ran away all the way back to Death city.

When they got back the big monument of flowers Excalibur sent them had them dieing of embarrassment in the classroom and as Mura couldn't help laughing before filling the three in on a secret.

Sam wasn't the first Emerson to try using Excalibur as a weapon. Before Mura Michael had shit luck with finding anyone to work with him thanks to his attitude and rugged nature. So he attempted to use the holy sword and he was stalked by the thing for months even after he paired with Mura.

Sam and the frog brothers were of course then curious of how he landed with the lost boys and the girl gladly told them the story of how David stalked him outside classes and public each day till Michael finally caved. It took a whole month of harassment from each boy for Michael to cave and by that point everyone assumed they were dating.

[tincansamurai]

ok so i skipped ahead in the bweirdOCtober to 18 - where you swap something about your ocs. and i was thinking about if their parents were swapped and how different they would be. i thought about this so... much.....

kaz's mom is a sweet, accepting, eccentric woman whose biggest flaw is not having the time to pay attention (needs to work 3 jobs so they don't die). mat's parents are pressure machines with strict standards and rules who will enforce those rules however they feel they need to.

basically kaz only turned out as stable as he is (i know!!) bc his mom was a solid source of love and support who he never wanted to hurt. so all his problems made him guilty as fuck and he tried to make them as invisible as possible. if he had mat's parents, he would have rebelled HARD, and his self destructive habits would be more visible and confrontational. more self hate fueled by anger than by guilt. he 100% would have ended up in the hospital with them. he also would have bounced the second he turned 18, skipped college, started working right away, done way more drugs... where he'd be at the start of the story is a skinny fucked up line cook whose main outlet is getting hit. oh and ofc alcohol and cigs and the occasional bump of coke

mat on the other hand would be fucking thriving. he definitely would have figured out he was gay at the latest in high school. he doesn't have the inclination to do anything really crazy, so not having someone to keep an eye on him wouldn't make him act out more - it might even have let him relax further. he may even smoke less weed! he'd have way better habits around his anxiety and less cptsd piled on top of it. he would have had an embarrassing emo fashion phase. he would probably still end up doing music and programming, but this time he'd study coding because he'd decide it makes sense as a living, not because he's grasping at the only tolerable option available. he'd probably be engaged to a college bf and just, like, enjoying being alive

they would never talk to each other, and if they did they would hate it

[toesucker416]

Saw a "Strawhats as Percy Jackson houses" post and it pissed me off so badly I'm making my own.

Luffy: legacy born to Dragon, the World's Worst criminal, son of Garp, the Hero of the Marines, who we will discuss later. That said, given how Luffy is, who Dragon is, and the Will of D in general, I think Eris, goddess of Strife is a good one.

Zoro: a dignified warrior with strong "fuck around and find out" energy. If he's not drinking, he's napping, and if he's not doing either of those, he's training. Textbook son of Ares (the post was actually right about this)

Sanji: his whole story falls apart without Judge and Sora, and yet, who's to say Sora has to be his bio mom? Son of Athena, who, fascinated with Judge's attempts to perfect life, saw fit to help. Sora gives birth to mundane (for a given value of mundane, they're still genetically enhanced) triplets. Athena is simultaneously proud and disappointed in him, because he's so smart, but then he's so stupid

Usopp: the original post said Hephaestus, and while I don't think that's inaccurate, we can do better. Usopp is the skill monkey of the crew. Before somebody comes along to specifically do something, he's the one doing it. He's the de facto shipwright and musician before those spots are filled, and even after, he's the de facto trickster. In Arlong Park, when Luffy describes Usopp's role, it's not that he can shoot from long distances, it's that he can lie. So I'm saying Hermes kid.

Nami: this one's hard to say. One of the simplest backstories, and yet, such a multifaceted character. Navigator. Cartographer. Thief. I almost wanna put her in Hermes with Usopp, but that feels like cheating. Still, I don't have a better idea at the moment, so I'll just stick with that.

Chopper: that is a reindeer.

Robin: not a demigod. She has enough problems being the sole survivor of a buster call, the only one who can read the Poneglyphs, and having the largest starting bounty in history. I entertained the idea of making her an Athena kid, but it felt wrong somehow.

Franky: the original post and I see eye to eye on this one. Franky is an orphan from nowhere who builds war machines as a teenager. He's so clearly a Hephaestus kid.

Brook: Son of Hades, a forbidden child. Old enough and spent enough years isolated that he doesn't get why this is such a big deal.

Jinbe: As much as I'd love to make the First Son of the Sea a son of Poseidon, I feel as if his story works best if he earned his strength and reputation.

Right, crew out of the way, let's get to some extras. Yonko first.

Whitebeard: Zeus. Zeus isn't just the God of thunder and the sky, he's also the king of the gods. That makes him a god of hospitality, as well. And what's more hospitable than adopting literally hundreds of children because growing up an orphan sucked so bad? Not to mention that, within Riordan's continuity at least, Zeus is the worst deadbeat of the lot, so making his son the pinnacle of fatherhood in Shonen anime just feels right.

Big Mom: Also Eris. Big Mom and Luffy are, fundamentally, the same. Two gluttons who want freedom and equality for all, with horrible abandonment issues. The difference being, Luffy had Shanks to set a good example for him, while Big Mom had a life of crime. If their roles were reversed, they would have each other's lives, and we'd be watching Big Mom Piece (ngl that'd go so hard)

Kaido: Kaido is something called an Oni, but what does that mean? It looks like he has horns and he's stupid big. I kinda want Kaido not to be a demigod, because he's a monster. The King of the Beasts, the World's Strongest Creature, a dragon waiting in a castle for someone to kill him.

Shanks: Manga spoilers in this one. You've been warned.

We recently learned that Shanks is Figarland Shanks, son of Figarland Garling, leader of God's Knights. He's a celestial dragon. I'm not sure if you've seen One Piece, but celestial dragons aren't good people. They steal, rape, and kill with impunity, and Garling is especially cold blooded among them. However, the celestial dragons are also an example of Oda doing Nature vs Nurture again, and Shanks is his example of that. Shanks is found in a box by the Roger Pirates at God Valley, and the King of the Pirates chooses to raise Shanks as his own. Anyways, Shanks is mortal, although all the CD's are probably legacies.

Blackbeard: I'm not saying anything on this one until we get more backstory. For a placeholder answer, I'll say Apate, goddess of deceit.

Buggy: Aphrodite, because have you seen that man's sex appeal? Plus, people believe him way too easily, he gotta be charmspeaking.

That's it for Yonko, let's get the original three Admirals, and then some important miscellaneous characters and we'll call it a day.

Akainu: who needs to be a demigod when you're HIM? Wallahi we're not ready.

Being serious, though, I'm a "Rocks Pirates killed Akainu's family" truther. His narrative role is best fit by him being just some guy.

Aokiji/Kuzan: Speaking of fan theories, he's 100% Brook's son.

Kizaru: Given how he usually drones when he talks, and he never seems to take things seriously, I'm saying Dionysus. I will double down on this if/when he betrays Saturn.

Garp: remember a thousand years ago, when I talked about Zoro and his "fuck around and find out" energy? Yeah, Garp regularly talks shit about world nobles *to their faces.* Ares for sure.

Roger: I'm feeling either just some guy, or Athena. Something about the search for the One Piece, a quest for lost knowledge and absolute freedom, feels very Athena to me.

Ace: See Roger. That's the only part of his story I'm touching, because his backstory is lowkey perfect.

Sabo: just some guy. He was always just some guy that Luffy and Ace liked, and it's one of his greatest qualities in a story littered with lineages of heroes and special races.

[shion-yu]

Day 26: Cardiac Arrest

Another story surrounding Shu’s near death experience. 2,604 words, TW for severe domestic abuse, hospital setting. @sicktember

They said Shu’s heart had stopped while he was in surgery. Alex didn't quite know what that meant, because he always thought when someone’s heart stopped they were dead. Sure he knew CPR existed, but being told his adoptive father’s heart had stopped beating in surgery - that a machine was still responsible for keeping him breathing - felt so serious. “But... He's still alive?” He had clarified in confusion.

“Yes. We were able to get him back,” the surgeon explained to him. “However there was a lack of oxygen to his brain for several minutes. Between that and the brain injury, we’ll have to wait for him to wake up to see if there is any lasting damage.”

Alex’s hands were balled in fists at his side, shaking. “Can I see him?” 

“He’s in recovery now,” came the reply, “We’ll come get you as soon as we can move him back to the floor though.” 

“Thank you,” Alex said faintly, but the surgeon was already gone. Alex was left alone in the hallway, surrounded only by strangers who didn’t know Shu or him. Alex wondered if they were also having the worst day of their life - or maybe second worst. 

Alex had not felt this alone since he had been twelve. He remembered waking up in the hospital after the explosion and asking for his mom. He never forgot the look on the nurse’s face as she hurried away, pity in her eyes as she went to fetch the police woman and child life specialist who told him then that both his mom and his dad were dead. The neighbor who always used to babysit him was dead too, as was her pet cat that Alex loved. In the blink of an eye, everything was gone.

That's when he met Shu. Apparently Shu was his second cousin, maybe third. Whoever he was, Alex had never heard of him before. He just knew he didn't want to go home with anyone who wasn't his mom or dad and only glared at Shu when he showed up at the hospital. 

He didn't think Shu would stick around, but he did. He visited every day, even when Alex was withdrawing from the methamphetamines that had seeped into his system by way of his parents’ recreational activities, despite never having purposely exposed himself to anything but cigarettes. He continued to visit while Alex spent a week on the pediatric psych ward, making Alex one of the only kids there who actually had someone there waiting to see him every evening. Alex was so angry - at everyone and everything - that he hadn’t appreciated it at all back then. Shu’s stupid face appearing every day represented all of the loss he was suddenly faced with. Alex screamed at him, hit him, and told him some really horrible things. And yet, Shu never went away. Every day he simply took Alex’s anger, told him goodnight, and said, “I’ll be back tomorrow.” And he always was. 

They hadn’t really been apart for more than his sleepovers at Ryo’s house since Alex had moved into Shu’s house. Alex didn’t like to go far from the things he’d slowly grown to find comfortable, nor did he have a reason to. Between Shu, Ryo, and Fulu, Alex had what he needed in life. A family. People who he trusted to stand up for him, even if he didn’t like to think he ever needed any help. People who managed to make him smile and feel things after the long, waking nightmare that was the months following his parents’ deaths.

But now this reality was crumbling, too, and Alex didn’t know if he’d be able to survive losing it all again.

He blamed himself, to a certain extent. He and Shu had fought plenty over the years, but they had always been able to work it out. This time it seemed like such a different, difficult topic. There was no simply apologizing and getting over it, because Julian was still there and Alex was still at Ryo’s. They were both hurt, but Alex had never expected Shu’s reluctance to leave Julian was so much more than just an unhealthy attachment. He hadn’t known Shu was scared to leave, and that hit him the hardest. He felt like he should have figured it out when Shu had started hiding things from him.

It was true that in the beginning, Shu had asked him if it was alright to accept an offer for a date from one of his clients. Of course Alex had said sure, whatever, he didn’t care. In all the years Alex had lived with him, Shu had never gone out with anyone. Alex didn’t even know what kind of person Shu would even date. But it didn’t seem like a big deal. Alex would be going to college next year - he was going to move out, hopefully into an off-campus apartment with Ryo, and that stress of this impending change had seemed to rock Shu more than Alex felt was fair. He wasn’t going to stay a kid forever, no matter how much Shu had become his real father. So he even thought maybe it was good for Shu to get out there and find someone else to focus on.

The problem was, Julian didn’t care about Shu. Not in the right way, anyways. Alex had thought it was just obsession - that Shu was way too into his new boyfriend, and it made Alex feel jealous. It all made sense now: the hiding his texts, how Shu would scurry out of the room to take phone calls, and why he would miss dinner together because he was out with Julian. Why the time Alex had walked in on Shu changing his shirt, Shu had become so defensive about Alex knocking when he never had before. 

But hindsight was 20/20, and Alex just felt like he’d been replaced. He’d seen the texts Julian had sent Shu, telling him to come over and Shu agreeing, even though he and Alex had been watching a movie together. But more than that, texts where Julian berated Shu for choosing to stay home with his selfish teenage son. Most infuriating, the texts where Julian was angry because Shu had turned his location off for just a few hours. And Shu, despite Alex thinking Shu was a strong person, just apologized profusely for doing wrong. It was so pathetic, so weak. They argued hard, and when Alex finally worked up the nerve to ask Shu to break up with Julian and Shu said no, it damaged something inside of Alex. It felt like a blow to the intense trust they’d built up over years and years. And so, he ran away.

Ran away was a strong term. Alex was seventeen, and it wasn’t like he didn’t drop by to grab his stuff every so often. Shu knew exactly where he was and that he was safe. But for a few weeks, Alex refused to talk to Shu. He slept at Ryo’s house and didn’t answer Shu’s many, many phone calls. It stung too much. Ryo told him he should try and talk to Shu, but Alex thought they’d talked enough. If Shu wanted to choose someone over him, so be it. That was his choice.

“He loves you more than anyone,” Ryo said one night, holding Alex in bed. “There has to be more. If you just talk to him-“

“He made it clear that Julian’s more important to him,” Alex interrupted him. He pulled away from Ryo and faced the wall, the anger and hurt inside of him boiling. “I’m done talking.”

Alex wished he hadn’t been so hard headed now. Maybe if they’d talked about it, Shu would have admitted why he let Julian walk all over him. But Alex doubted it - after all, Shu had only admitted it in the end because Alex had seen the proof.

He’d come home to grab some more things and Shu had begged him to come home. It made Alex so angry, he pushed Shu away from him. It had been years since he’d been physical with Shu, but Shu had been crying, telling Alex he was sorry over and over again and that he wouldn’t let Julian get in the way anymore. Yet when Alex said, “So you’re leaving him?” Shu hadn’t been able to answer no. He tried to touch Alex and Alex snapped, shouting, “Don’t fucking touch me!”

Shu crouched after being pushed, guarding his abdomen and clearly in pain. Alex knew he hadn’t pushed Shu that hard, and suddenly things clicked. He grabbed Shu’s shirt and pulled it up to reveal a huge, blossoming bruise. And it wasn’t just one, either. Suddenly all of those little accidents Shu had been having over the last few months made sense. Alex saw red.

“Tell me who did it,” Alex said. “It was Julian, wasn’t it?” 

“Alex, please. He - he’s not that bad. It’s my fault,” Shu said, and those words just filled Alex with more rage. He didn’t want to believe Shu was this weak - and he wanted to kill Julian. He should’ve killed him, Alex thought now, instead of letting Shu go in by himself to break up once and for all. He was stupid not to think there wouldn’t be consequences. When he’d given Shu an ultimatum - him or Julian - Shu had chosen Alex. But in the midst of such intense emotions, Alex hadn’t considered what Julian was really capable of. 

He couldn’t stop feeling Shu’s blood on his hands, hot and sticky, no matter how many times he scrubbed them in the bathroom. Alex sat on a chair in the waiting room, staring at them, shaking. He had to tell Fulu. He needed Ryo. But he couldn’t bring himself to call either of them. They’d blame him, he thought, and he’d deserve it.

Eventually he texted Ryo to just come to the hospital with no other explanation. Of course, Ryo tried to get more out of him, but Alex didn’t answer. Ryo got there within fifteen minutes, and as soon as Alex saw him he crumbled into Ryo’s arms.

“That bastard almost killed him,” he said, angry tears wetting Ryo’s shoulder. “He did. They said they had to shock him a bunch of times. I’m so stupid.” 

Ryo led Alex to a quiet corner and sat him down, holding Alex’s hands to prevent him from scratching his arms anxiously. “It’s not your fault,” he said gently.

“You don’t know that,” Alex said.

“I do,” Ryo said. “And now we’re going to be there for him.”

A nurse came and got Alex then, stating Shu was out of recovery and in the ICU. Alex could come see him, if he was ready. Alex didn’t feel ready, but he held onto Ryo’s hand and followed her upstairs.

He couldn’t recognize Shu in bed. Rather, he didn’t want to recognize him. His dad looked so tiny, engulfed by machines that were keeping his heart and lungs pumping. He had several IVs running god knew what through his veins, a tube down his throat, and huge metal cage around his leg. Worst of all was his face though. Even with bandages, the bruises and cuts Julian had caused while beating Shu were visible. Alex felt sick. Only Ryo’s hand on his back kept him from running.

“You can touch him,” the nurse said gently. “You just have to be careful.”

But Alex didn’t want to touch Shu. He was too scared to. Not only did Shu look already broken, but he felt guilty even standing here, intact. He sat on the vinyl couch against the wall and said nothing. Ryo was the one who ended up calling Fulu. It was the only time Alex had ever seen her cry, which just made things harder. 

She hugged Alex after a while, looking more like herself after she had wiped away her tears. “At least you’re okay,” she whispered to him.

“I’m sorry,” Alex said, his voice breaking.

She pulled back and looked at him very seriously, her small hands on his shoulders. “No. Not your fault,” she said, as if she knew it was the only thing Alex could have needed to hear from her. 

They took turns waiting for Shu to wake up. It was three days before Shu responded at all, his fingers twitching when Alex finally held his hand. Another day before his eyes opened and the doctor examined his blown pupil and shook his head, telling them Shu would probably never see out of his right eye again. The police talked to Alex a lot, and he thought any time he’d end up locked up for what he’d done to Julian. Despite hours of questioning, it never happened. Apparently it was obvious enough that Alex had acted defensively on behalf of Shu. Maybe he went too far, they said, and Julian could press charges for battery, but it wasn’t comparable to what he’d done first. Alex wondered if Shu hadn’t woken up in time to stop him, if he really would have killed Julian. Even in defense, he didn’t think that would have been a total get out of jail free card.

Shu spent most of that first week too sedated to know what was going on. Alex felt relieved by that, knowing Shu could at least rest for a while before the pain of what had happened - both physical and the trauma of it - would inevitably hit him. The night before he was extubated, Alex fell asleep with his head on the side of Shu’s bed. He woke up to Shu’s hand resting on his back. Just like when Shu finally squeezed his hand, that one movement made Alex feel like things were just one small step closer to normal.

Things moved faster after Shu was able to breathe on his own again. He was having trouble speaking, and his memory of what had happened was scattered at best. But he was still him, and that was what mattered. He was more concerned with Alex’s small row of stitches above his eye than someone in his position had any right to be, and that made Alex laugh for the first time since before it had all happened. “I’m fine. It’s nearly healed,” he told Shu. 

“Shouldn’t you be in school?” Shu asked him. “You promised me you weren’t skipping classes.”

“I’ve been a little busy here,” Alex said incredulously, but he went back to school the next day. He was still staying at Ryo’s house. Every day they would go straight from classes to the hospital, visit Shu for a while, then head back to the house to do homework. Shu was making progress, slowly but surely. Some days he seemed more confused than others, but for the most part it was an upward trajectory and for that, Alex was relieved. Fulu and Mathias were taking care of the legal matters with a lawyer.

“When can I go home?” Shu started asking. Apparently he had to go to rehab first, but Alex knew he meant their home. 

“Soon,” Alex told him. “We’re going home soon.”

Shu’s eyes flashed with recognition. “You too?”

“Yeah,” Alex said. He wanted it as much as Shu did. To just be the two of them again, in the place they called home. Maybe things would never be quite the same again, and Alex would still graduate and move out in a few months. But he knew for a fact that nothing like this would happen again, he’d make sure of it.

[veyveys]

Stay With Me

Summary: Miguel comforts you after he sees your stressed with endless work.

Warning: Fluff, Angst, Mention of death, Stress.

A/N: This is my first fic ever written. I’m not a very good writer so go easy on me •~•

You couldn’t take it anymore.

Before your mom had passed away, it had always been a dream of yours to be a nurse. You saw over the years of your mother taking care of you how she worked hard to be a nurse, so you were inspired. You knew it would be stressful and tiring, but you still took the risks. To make your mom proud.

Just right after highschool, right after you graduated, you were at your mom’s death bed. Crying and sobbing like you’ve never before. You held her hand and your tears fell onto her hospital gown.

“How am I supposed to go on without you, mom?” You said coughing and choking on your tears.

She gripped onto your hand tighter. “Honey, you are the strongest, toughest girl I know. And you get that from your momma. I’ll always be there with you in spirit.”

She reached up to wipe her tears. “I’ll always be with you every step of the way, love. Don’t give up on your dream. Do it for me…”

All you could do was sniffle and cry some more. Her words made you even sad, and not wanting for your togetherness to end like this. You sat there in silence for a moment, and then you nodded.

“Okay,” you croaked, “I’ll do it for you, mom.” ou kissed her forehead, and then her life support machine flatline sound rang in your ear.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌✧.*﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

2 years later, you were in medical school in college. Your mom really wasn’t kidding when she said it would be hard. You almost go no sleep. You notice as the days went by your black circles and noticeable eyebags forming under your eyes. You wanted to drop out. To just be over with it all, but every time you had that thought, your mother’s last words echoed in your head.

“Do it for me…”

You had ended up getting a boyfriend. Miguel O’Hara. You had met him in a grocery store shopping for groceries for your apartment. You were struggling to reach the cereal box you wanted when you saw his large hand reach it for you. You said your thanks and to your surprise he flirted with you. You flirted back and ended up getting his number that same day.

You guys talked to each other on the phone for hours. You told him about your life and your mother’s passing and he understood completely how you were still grieving over her loss. He opened up to you how he had a daughter, Gabi, who also passed away in a tragedy. He had kept it a secret how he was Spider-Man for a while, but you ended up finding out. And you didn’t get mad that he hid it from you. You knew his job was secretive.

He took you out on the most romantic dates, which you never ended up being disappointed, he took you to school and bought you your fav iced coffee for the mornings. He bought you chocolates and teddy bears when you were on your period, and practically spoiled you with his love and attention when you were sick. He did it all for you. He’d do anything for you.

It was late at night and you were in your room taking some long notes in your bed. You sighed and yawned. You were so tired and just wanted to flop onto your pillows. But you knew if you did that, you wouldn’t get your work done. Just then, your doorbell rang in your apartment. You got up immediately to open the door, and when you did, you couldn’t help but smile. It was Miguel.

You reached up your arms around his neck and hugged him, he hugged you back, his large hands pulling your waist close to his.

“Miguel,” you said as you released yourself from the hug, “What are you doing here?”

“Hola, amor.” He kissed the top of her head. “I came to see you. What are you doing?”

You sighed. “Taking notes for school. I’ve been up for hours. I just wanna sleep, but I need to get it done. Y’know?”

He nodded, listening to you carefully and completely understanding. You gestured him to come inside, the cold air sending chills to your body. You shut the door and hugged him again.

“Miguel.. it’s late. And I’m not really doing anything interesting or free for tonight.” You said into his chest. You felt his warm hand that you loved so much rub gentle circles on your back. “I don’t care. I wanted to see you. I wouldn’t mind watching you do some school work.” He said.

You lifted your head up to peek at him, his words making you blush. Everyday Miguel proved that he was the right one for you. The man you wouldn’t trade for any damn thing in this world. The man you would hope ask to marry you one day.

“I love you.” You stood on your tippy toes to kiss him. “I wish I could cuddle you right now.”

“Who says you can’t?” He replied

You had a confused look on your face. “I have notes to take Miguel.”

”I’ll do it for you, my love.”

You chuckled. “And how are you gonna do that?”

“I’m a really fast writer with good handwriting. I’ll get it done in 20 minutes.”

You were hesitant about it but you let him. And he was right. He ended up getting it done so fast. You praised him for his work and couldn’t be more relieved how he was here to help you. Now it was time to cuddle in bed with him.

He put the covers over you as you adjusted your head on his chest to get more comfy. He lied his head on the pillow and sighed, lucky to be here with you. You wrapped tour arms around him and shut your eyes. He couldn’t help but to look at you, and how beautiful you looked happily resting on his chest. He kissed the top of your head.

“I love you, my hero.” You tiredly whispered.

He smirked down at you. “You know I’m always here to help, my nurse.”

“And that’s why I love you.”

You shut your eyes and ended up falling asleep. Miguel enjoyed the sounds of your soft breaths. It was music to his ears and he could listen to it all night. He ended up getting sleepy himself and closed his eyes, dreaming about you.

[darkboysroadtrip]

I haven't had questions so I'm gonna use a random question generator

What's your favorite childhood story? (For everyone) -bubble

[I hope you're ready to read, it gets long.]

They're waiting for the cops [🤮] to show up when this comes in; everyone stiffens except Patton.

"I guess I'll go first" Patton says, "I feel like everyone might have more trouble thinking of something..."

"I have something too" Dee says.

"What ages count as childhood?" Virgil asks.

"I would think until thirteen? That's technically a teen" Patton points out.

"True but you're still a child until you're an adult" Logan says.

"For simplicity's sake let's stick with thirteen okay?" Virgil asks the group, they all agree.

"Okay!" Patton starts, "I have a lot of good memories of my childhood it was very fun, my parents even though divorced are still really great parents!"

"No need to rub it in" Virgil smirks.

The playful snark goes right over Patton's head, "oh no!" he shakes his hands around, "I wasn't trying to do that!"

"I'm fucking with you" Virgil responds and Patton visibly sags with relief.

"Oh yoooou" he wags his finger, "you you got me there!"

"Continue your story Pat" Virgil smiles, "I won't do it again."

"Okay! So it might not be super fantastic or anything but one of my favorite memories is actually when I was visiting with my dad for one of his weeks, and my step mom went into labor, I was maybe eleven at the time and it was laaaaate out so me, all burry eyes and half asleep was packed into the car with everything.

"I remember sitting in the front seat trying to figure out why my step mom wasn't and when I looked at her in the back seat she was taking up most of it and even through her hard breathing she smiled at me, I turned back around and just watched the lights blur past us.

"The hospital was quite calm when we got there, and since I couldn't be in the delivery room my dad sat out with me, we got snacks from the vending machines and I got to meet my new baby brother hours later, my mom did come pick me up though when morning came and we got breakfast."

"That was really sweet Patton" Dee says.

"You know me, big ol puff ball" he pokes his own cheek, "oh! Also when I was six my big sister took me to see a movie and we accidentally started a itty bitty, teensy tiny fire that came from a popcorn fight."

The group stare at him.

He smiles back at them.

"Nice!" Remus says, he holds up a hand for a high five - Patton enthusiastically smacks his hand.

"I suppose I'll go next if no one has anything to say at the moment?" Dee asks.

"Go ahead, I'm not sure I have much of anything, I'll go last." Virgil says.

Everyone else is pretty much on the same page.

"Alright, as everyone is probably expecting my favorite memories were always with my mother, and always when we weren't with or around my father.

"There isn't one moment I can choose from those memories to be a favorite, so I'll just say one.

"It was one of the many times we went camping, my mother as you all know was a very outdoorsy person, I haven't said before that she was a park ranger as well - she knew how to survive in the wilderness with basically nothing and she taught me as much as she was able before she was... before she died.

"Anyway, we were camping out in the deep part of the forest she ranged, she was obviously not working, but she loved being in the forest so much that her vacations were also spent there, and it was much better than staying at home with my father who did not like camping, any guesses as to why we went a lot" he chuckles humorlessly before continuing.

"This part of the forest was near somewhere my mother wanted to hike, it wasn't a trail many people went on, barely even knew about so we didn't come by any people, there was however a lot of wildlife, we stopped to watch when possible, everything was so beautiful and calm.

"It took a long time to get to where we were hiking mainly because we stopped a lot, but each moment was fun, even when I fell and hurt my knees and palms.

"Our destination was at a waterfall, it wasn't huge and grand but it was gorgeous and magnificent in its own regards, it flowed into a lake that was clear enough to see the bottom and that lake flowed into a small river.

"We had a picnic there, we went swimming, we waded through the little river to see small creatures and we found a cave behind that shimmering waterfall.

"It was all very magical for an eleven year old, and also the last trip we went on."

"Aw, I might cry" Patton says.

"Please don't" Dee replies.

Patton sniffles, "okay" he nods.

"Who's next?" Dee looks at everyone.

"I suppose I am" Logan says, "I don't have much to tell however, my childhood was mostly at the orphanage, I didn't get along with the other children or any families or couples that came by, but I did have one friend, she wasn't there for long but it was nice while she was.

"As I have said before, I mainly liked to stay indoors to read and learn anything I was able to get my little hands on, until Clem came -short for Clementine- she was rambunctious and wild, always had a smile on and liked to say she was a witch, maybe she was.

"For some reason she took a liking to me, she also liked to learn things I guess that may have been it but she would drag me outside to teach me things I couldn't be taught in books. Those were my happiest childhood memories."

"Okay I already knew this but it is so tragic every time I hear it" Roman says, "you were such a sad little child!"

Logan looks at Roman, "I didn't say I had a sad childhood, I just said I didn't have much else to say about it."

"Uh yeah" Roman starts, he gesticulates his arms around, "ergo: sad childhood."

"I don't know where you got that from."

Roman makes a face of disbelief, "from everything you say about it?"

"I never say I'm sad in any of those stories though."

Roman pauses, "I... suppose you don't, huh alright then, shall I continue this story train?"

"Go right on ahead" Logan replies.

"I think Remus and I might have the same answer?" He looks over to Remus questioning.

"Well if it's the Abigail Thing then not even close bro!"

Everyone is silent, they're looking at Remus and they're not sure how to respond.

"Jeeze!" Remus says flapping his hand in dismissal, "you'd think none of ya have ever heard about coping with trauma with jokes before!"

"I'm... I'm just going to say my story" Roman says.

"Ahh figures" Remus mumbles.

"As I was saying, mine would have to be when Mom and Dad left us alone with the nanny for the weekend, and she was mostly preoccupied with Abigail, her being like two to our five, because sure five year olds don't need any supervision! But I digress!

"Remus and I were outside -as we tended to like to be- when we saw a mangy mutt walking around our property, now we had fences and gates so this huge mongrel wouldn't be able to get in - without our help that is."

"Oh, no you're right this is my favorite too" Remus interjects, "we both fell in love with this huge slobbery beast, and we needed it to be ours!"

"Precisely!" Roman agrees, "so while Remus kept the dog occupied with whatever snacks we had with us I went in to find the remote for the gates!"

"Oh man that dog was hungry!" Remus laughs, "I remember luring it to the gate with bits of snacks, while you were inside, my whole arm was covered in slobber!"

"Your whole you was covered in slobber" Roman says.

"Haha, yeeeeeah. But! We did get him in and closed the gate so he couldn't leave, then we snuck him into the guest house so he could have his own place."

"Our parents didn't find out about him for weeks" Roman says.

"Weeks!" Remus repeats, "we fed him all kinds of stuff, that guest house was a mess! We barely cleaned up after him, we'd let him out a lot though, our parents were barely home any way."

"What happened to him?" Patton asks.

"Oh, uh... I'm not entirely sure" Roman admits.

"I just remember us crying a lot when they said that we couldn't keep him" Remus says, "they didn't tell us what they did with him."

"I hope he was alright" Patton says.

"Me too" Roman agrees, "but it's Virgil's turn! You got anything yet buddy?"

Virgil's face scrunches around, "I guess? Man, I had a very rigid childhood, my parents laid out all of my days and scheduled my whole life. We were very well off, almost as rich as the disaster twins over there" he chuckles, "and my parents tried to always be above everyone else so they were very hard on me being 'thier perfect little princess'" he scoffs.

"I didn't get to do anything I wanted until boarding school and I was twelve when that happened so... That may just be it, getting out of that oppressive house."

"Oh wait" he says before the silence can dig into everyone, "there was this one time, I met my aunt at a funeral for some relative I've never even heard about - she was cool and because she was cool my mother never wanted me to be around her again.

"I didn't even know she existed until that moment, apparently she's a little estranged from the family for her 'wild and carefree nature' or something, but despite being at a funeral that was the first time I was able to be myself and actually have a good time considering my parents were too busy to focus on much else than gaining social points."

"Okay, now that" Roman says, "was sad, and no one can tell me otherwise."

Virgil shrugs, "you're right."

Right in perfect timing of everyone telling their little tales, several cars park around the property.

The authorities are here.

[zenkor123]

Journal of Peeta Mellark-Taming of the mutt

October 3rd 75 ADD

who is the mutt? Is it totally foreign to me? I engage I deep conversations and see that the mutt isn't hate but searing pain itbwants to kill katniss so the pain will go away. It is wild, Tracker jacker blue, has horns, and a multitude of wounds, like an undead, it is leaking Jacker venom from its finger nails. I try to reach it and it says it did everything it did to keep me safe and roars. I hug it and it merges into me. As it melts into me many memories emerge and I realize that the capital beat me to the ruins of Peeta, it gutted them leaving only fear, determination, it's a shell. I am desperate for any part of Peeta so I need it with me. After the shiny memories pass unshiny memories emerge that of talking back to my mother, memories of my mother emerge and a hatred and desire to kill her hidden in me feels old. I also beat the crap out of a bully in elementary school. He went to the hospital, could not go to school for 2 months. His name was Phineas something. It was when I was 12? I once almost killed Myrna when she was about to burn me with metal tongs. I am afraid of spiders. I burned myself on the stove and my mom told me I was an Idiot. I am afraid of enclosed spaces. It has a fea memories associated with fear, and pain. The hijacking targeted fear and so my fear, became the mutt. It is more aniimalistic The most painful memories were accesed It emerges that this side of me had been denied all my life and had been abused by the capital. It is my inner demon. It also shows determination to survive but feels a more abstract injury that my spirit was taken from me, this pain existed long before I was hijacked. It felt forced to conform to survive to wear many masks. I have had to beg for food, lie convincingly, Myrna even made me bash myself for food. I want people to like me, I have sacrificed too much for that end. I felt Katniss said something about being a peice in games and I sort of remember a very shiny and gutted memory. I decide to fulfill it rather then have it be manipulated by anyone else, what if I didn't play by the rules for once? But I must face the facts I choked Katniss and I alone. The modification was specific it was the face of my transformation but it was not the actor, the venom had clear physical effects on my body, the impact on my memory was not natural. However in my mind It appears not like it appeared before everything but with loads of Tracker jacker stings, and slightly purple from the venom, it was twisted and it too lost large amounts of memories turned into but a machine mutated by the capital. But I wasn't as nice a person as everyone says I was. Though I saw my nice side die, it was real but it wasn't all that was there. By making peace with my monster I now remember more of my mother then I do my father. I also felt guilt for this monsters presence when I was Peeta but fusing with the monster removes something off my chest even with my memories fragmented. When I was mutated it erased as much of even my monster but forgiving it made the material that the mutts was made out of betray the capital it no longer had any of Peeta to sustain it, but it is still a mutation it is just my mutation, a tormented feral mutation, I am a mutation and what features it has became my own. My nightmares are now more frequent they are no longer of “only losing her” but it is worth it. its the only side of Peeta willing to give itself to me . A weird effect is I got a paper cut and felt nothing. I am desensitized to pain. As Myrna Mellark the witch said, “Mellarks never give up." I clearly am stubborn, capable of taking great pain, I trust nobody, deep down I am a rebel. I am ashamed at my timid nature and having to debase myself for those with power over me. I can work with this.

Katniss has many thoughts on what she just read and ponders

Katniss thinks about how Peeta once viewed her as a source of safety and hope and feels self hatred for not being able to protect Peeta, she hears Morphling Peeta in her head say as he did to Haymitch “only I can protect me”. She tries to remember who Phineus is. Phineus Chance was the tribute for the 70th hunger games he was reaped right after he left the hospital. He was known to be the neighborhood bully and he was from the seam a descendent of rebels from the Dark days. He got 7th place in the games before being killed by the game makers fireball. Katniss remembered playing with Phineus as children. It was never revealed how he got those injuries but Katniss never imagined that it was Peeta that caused those injuries. Katniss also remembers what the doctors told her about the parts of Peeta’s amygdala swelling from the effects of Jacker venom after being suffocated. Katniss also remembers Peeta killing a spider in school when he was 13, she remembers Peeta freaking out about Spiders when Peeta rested with Katniss after she was injured by the fence. Katniss always hated the witch and thinks that Myrna is an appropriate name for her. With The description of Peeta’s demon as blue Katniss wonders if Peeta really did appear blue during his hijacking. After Peeta killed the tracker jacker nests in 13 he returned with a blueish tinge that lasted for 2 days. Katniss also recalls that after she killed Glimmer her warts sometimes appeared a light faint blue. Finally she rages at Delly, it was Delly who convinced Peeta that it was over, that he would never be Peeta, again, to give up, even if Katniss believed Peeta lost, that before Peeta made an effort not to scavenge his ruins for useful material but to rebuild as himself, had given her comfort at the time even if she didn’t realize it. Because of Delly leaving Peeta, Peeta began talking about himself in the 3rd person, told Gale that “the rescue came too late for Peeta.” Boggs that “Peeta got what he deserved.” Peeta had no self to build off of, only scavenge for useful materials. She would never forgive Delly for this, Katniss imagined what it would be like after her memories destroyed, thinking her past belonged to a person who died, with the present belonging to a shell left with the scraps.

[dabistits]

378 thoughts just going to put them in bullet points

pretend i inserted screenshots of: [endeavor hitting rei] [endeavor hitting shouto] [hawks killing twice] [the hpsc head threatening to get rid of lady nagant] [the tartarus guards discussing the prison’s supposed human rights violations]

is it really “a crime is a crime” or only when people who aren’t on your side do it lmao.

aoyama isn’t a lost cause but he’s a guilty and terrified teenager whose only option is to comply with the demands of the “justice” system. even if he’d want to help in the first place, it’s really funny to ignore the presence of coercion here.

so you’re telling me no villains who planned to escape that prison wanted to see their family or visit their mom in the hospital huh. it sure is convenient no one had a “valid” reason to want to leave!

again, the liberation of prisons portrayed as a disaster for society because of course everyone who gets locked up is a pure killing machine.

bnha being like “yes, criminals are senselessly violent (unlike heroes!) but um they can change! not through any kind of self-reflection or personal growth though, because if you just leave them alone they stay violent, but through the heartfelt lecture of a hero who is different and inherently good :)” it simultaneously wants liberated villains to be violent, scary, and unproblematic to indiscriminately beat up while also having a touching message about personal change.

very off-putting to me that bnha reflects the notion that the worst thing to happen in a time of crisis is for inmates to be freed. there is a body count for the number of inmates who were just left to suffer from illness or natural disasters because letting them go would be “worse.”

gentle criminal stopping all the inmates being the basis for getting the heroes’ trust. what if he didn’t succeed at stopping everyone or just got beat up himself? again, there’s this notion that people who are viewed as ‘deficient’ in some way (villains, mutants, etc.) should go above and beyond to the point of perfection to attain any kind of decency.

this is a good message (albeit a very basic message) but does your story actually support it?

also to act like this is a profound, eye-opening message or something, and not a terrible failure of everything the cops and heroes have been doing up until now if you’re only just realizing this.  

and it raises the question: HOW are you going to recognize them as human beings? saying it isn’t enough. is it “recognizing them as human beings” to lock them up in tartarus? to kill them and dismiss it in a press conference? to let their abusive parent retain his power and status without question?

HER VILLAIN ORIGIN WAS YOU HER ORIGIN WAS THE FUCKING HERO SYSTEM HER ORIGIN WAS THE THING SHE’S FORCED TO WORK WITH NOW BECAUSE HORI THINKS EVERYTHING THE HEROES DO IS EXCUSABLE AND JUSTIFIED IT WAS YOU HER ORIGIN WAS GKJGLGVJKBHGLAKJDKGBHBGKF

remember how i said the only options for anyone to be is a hero or villain, no other option?

[flowerish-cherry-blue]

book review: five feet apart by rachael lippincott | 2018

summary:

can you love someone you can never touch?

stella grant likes to be in control—even though her totally out of control lungs have sent her in and out of the hospital most of her life. at this point, what stella needs to control most is keeping herself away from anyone or anything that might pass along an infection and jeopardize the possibility of a lung transplant. six feet apart. no exceptions.

the only thing will newman wants to be in control of is getting out of this hospital. he couldn’t care less about his treatments, or a fancy new clinical drug trial. soon, he’ll turn eighteen and then he’ll be able to unplug all these machines and actually go see the world, not just its hospitals.

will’s exactly what stella needs to stay away from. if he so much as breathes on stella she could lose her spot on the transplant list. either one of them could die. the only way to stay alive is to stay apart. but suddenly six feet doesn’t feel like safety. it feels like punishment.

what if they could steal back just a little bit of the space their broken lungs have stolen from them? would five feet apart really be so dangerous if it stops their hearts from breaking too?

my opinion:

to begin with, i have a history of getting to know this book. of course, i heard about its existence only after watching the movie. but my hands came to her almost 5 years later, and how many times i stopped by its shelf in stores… it's hard to count.

so here it is! as for the book itself, i was satisfied, i will immediately note a kind of happy ending, which i lacked in the movie and the emotions that i felt myself.

although i won't gloss over the mediocrity of the plot, in terms of the exhaustion of such a theme, the love between ill people, i saw such a thing and later i will tell you. at the same time, none of the characters did not cause me irritation, i empathized with all of them and honestly, with pleasure, watched the development of the book from both sides of will and stella.

the language is lame in places from time to time, and i'm not sure if this was the author's first work, but practice makes perfect, ya know?

now, let's have a look at the next few points:

• as i mentioned above, the book reminds me of something and that is the fault in our stars by john green, and no, i'm not trying to compare them, but these books have a similar underlying theme of doomed love. that why i think i liked five feet apart more, again due to the fact that the beloved characters are alive by the end.

• the book made me cry and that's fine, i understood very well the situation described in the book because i have experienced somethimg like in my live and those feelings and things still terrefy me.

• i think the author went a little overboard when she made stella such a control freak, yes i understand what it was about, but still. control yourself, but not everyone around you, sweetheart.

• i also want to say a word about the parents in this book, i mean we are shown two models of family and they are not the happiest - a single mom and a divorced couple that broke up because of tragedy. honestly, i am very happy with the attitude of the parents towards their children, even though they were the very templates of their types.

• poe's death shocked me, it was not so easy to bear, as stella herself thought that death just follows her around and takes away her beloved ones. in some ways it was comparable to augustus' death in the fault in our stars.

• as i noted earlier, in some places the writing was a bit tempestuous in terms of descriptions, but i haven't encountered this very often and i'm glad i didn't.

so, i want to say that I really enjoyed this book, i think that all the time i waited to read it was worth it. and it brought me some relief because i cried and was able to let my emotions out

my rating:

4/5

«If i’m going to die, i'd like to actually live first.»

«don’t think about what you’ve lost. think of how much you have to gain. live, stella.»

[saltynsassy31]

also, which of them can cook for themselves and which of them are terrible at it? xd i’m just handing out questions i think are funny

Fjdkskaka okay this one I know a bit more lol

I'll list off who knows and don't then go a little bit deeper for each

So okay, Skipper, Cherry, Zefron, Berry and Plaid know how to cook

El and Orca know a little bit but mostly just eat pre made food like instant noodles and what not

Ame and Dusty are banned from the kitchen

Skipper knows how to cook because he had to learn it, be it that when he was a kid his dad was always busy in the hospital, it was required in the military and he lived in the forest alone for a couple months after running away so he'd have to hunt and stuff, so it was a useful skill

Cherry just kinda learned to cook? I still don't have much planned but with how I'm going with her, she probably had to cook for herself a lot since her parents were absent for the most part, she also tried to cook for Skipper when their boss wouldn't let him eat

Berry's love language is giving food for those she cares about, she cooks whatever her friends like the most

Plaid's bonding time with his moms was cooking, need I say more? Xd

Zefron had maids cook his food for his whole life, so when he was living alone for the first time, he kinda lived on noodles lmao, but he really wanted to be independent and hated he never learned how to cook so he put himself at work and is now VERY good, it also helped that he'd work in part time jobs where he sometimes had to made food and with the guidance of one of his managers that was really sweet to him he learned pretty quickly. He, much like Berry, also likes to show his appreciation to his friends through food cuz he's proud of his work and wants to show it off.

El and Orca are always busy with their work, be it lots of researching and hours of coding or a none stop killing machine, so they often don't have the time to cook and settle for quick and pre-made food, they know basic cooking, like, they know how to do rice, probably cook in bulk and eat it throughout the week. Zefron did an offended gasp when he found out about Orca and from then on out began cooking for him and bringing him lunch to work.

Ame, is, again, a child so she's not really allowed on the kitchen alone XD she's learning though.

Dusty....no excuse, she burnt water, Plaid was the one who banned her.