#also having it on an empty stomach is bad
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the pros of drinking coffee are way too high for me to take people who think it's harmful seriously
#helps digestion lowers my anxiety#improves my circulation and pain#worst case scenario is needing to shit sooner than you want if you're at work or something#also having it on an empty stomach is bad#if it goes down with a sandwich or something then I'm fine 9 times outta 10#preworkout coffee can do wonders tbh#i'm pretty sure most nrl players do that right before a game too
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I'm not getting into The Giving Tree discourse...
#personal#delete later#idk i just saw a post of the “alternate ending” comic on my dash and everyone praising it as an improvement and “fixing” the original#which i kinda resent#while tulli and i was taking my nephew to a book store we walked around the kids section and found the giving tree and we read through it#and i was so stricken by how profoundly sad it is. it's not a happy story#in the end both versions tell the exact same lesson. but one flat out tells you and the other makes you sit with a pit in your stomach#and work to find the answer#i dunno it's kids literature but kids literature is important. i don't wanna discredit anyone's bad memories with the book but also i think#sometimes it's ok to make kids a bit sad and upset with fiction.#tweet that goes “what if romeo and juliet didn't kill themselves and explained to the audience that family feuds are bad”#idk you can't seriously read the original book as an adult and say it's glorifying self-martyrdom#when the final drawing of the book is of an old tired man sitting on arotting stump with his hat fallen to the ground#again i don't wanna invalidate people's feelings if they enjoy the alt version i think it's really nice too. but the original has its#purpose too. imagine if at the end of the lorax they show that the boy did it and replanted the world happy ending#wait they did that in the movie shit#i dunno i just love somber children's literature. tulli and i are talking about moomin right now and how the series ends with the moomin#family just leaving. and nobody gets to say goodbye to them. their friends have to find ways to live with the emptiness they've left behin
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5 AM
Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃
#hopefully the meds work but while waiting for them to kick in I get so damn nervous#and sometimes I do get nights where even on my full dose my anxiety is too overpowering and I just. Do Not Sleep#I mean I do eventually but not without spiraling first :')#way before I was prescribed sleep meds my longest was 3 nights without sleep while on a VERY stressful trip#I felt like I was gonna die and I did not sleep until I got off the plane and was back at home#(this was like 15 years ago already but it still haunts me fhfgsgdh)#my best friend and I were having a conversation today#and she was like 'not sleeping can make you hallucinate right?'#and I was like :') I get the hallucinations in other scenarios too#BUT I also get what she meant#not sleeping is really bad for me mentally which is why I can't do 'sleep restriction therapy'#and fun fact#a lot of my OCD obsessions revolve around sleep!!!#which is 'awesome' because laying in bed with insomnia makes my OCD flare up so like#the two get to feed off each other and make my life a living hell!!!#and don't even get me started on my sleep paralysis episodes#(which I like to think of as just my brain misfiring but that my aunt tells me is saints or demons trying to talk to me)#'cause she hallucinates too but hers are like 'spiritual' or whatever#same with my mom's hallucinations as well#and to add fuel to the dumpster fire of my mind and body is the fact I've been overcaffeinating again#which I've known not to do ever since I was in middle school and saw the pediatric cardiologist who specifically said 'hey don't do that'#fast-forward to adulthood and I still haven't learned how to handle anything#like. I have heart meds and sleep meds and migraine meds and IBS meds#and yes meds are good but like. I know you need to incorporate lifestyle changes as well#which I do for like 2 weeks until the next time I fuck up#I've been so irresponsible lately but like. ESPECIALLY today#didn't eat#took some meds on an empty stomach and forgot to take my other ones at all#had too much caffeine#stressed out over some stupid situations thanks to overthinking
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Why are my posts that get made under the influence of something (sleep deprivation, caffeine on empty tummy, read a good book) the ones that take off
#simon says#im noticing that one artist post going around now and im SO GLAD that artists are finally realizing they have options#but also I made that post after having a second cup of coffee on an empty stomach so I am embarrassed by it#it's not a bad post but it's a caffeine induced one#the other two posts mentioned are the free college one (sleep deprived)#and the princess bride one that blew up (good book)
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It’s always ‘man I wish I was at home’ until you actually have a reason to stay home because you feel bad and then it’s ‘man I wish I was at work because that would mean I didn’t feel awful’
#same goes for when i was in school lol#if i actually stayed home that was because i was SufferingTM#and no matter how much even college sucked with undiagnosed adhd#i would rather be dragging myself through classes than having a cyclic vomiting episode yknow lol#(for those unfamiliar: largely unknown condition - believed to be related to migraine headaches)#(which i agree with because yknow how migraines have a distinct ‘quality’ of burning - throbbing pain like your head will explode?)#(for me it’s exactly that but my stomach - the organ stomach not just my abdomen in general)#(would be 16-30 hours of feeling like my stomah is about to rupture from being so swollen despite being empty)#(with light and sound sensitivity)#(and nausea and vomiting)#(with the only pain relief being maybe 30-60 seconds after vomiting before the pain starts building back up)#(because there’s no known pain medication that helps 👍)#(yeah my brother in christ i would rather take 3 final exams i didnt study for completely unmedicated)#(i always want to stay home until i actually feel bad enough to do so)#(and then it’s ‘ah yes - be careful what you wish for’ lol)#(this is why i know how to make myself vomit because while i have no desire to throw up food)#(no bullemia or the like i assure you)#(it was the ONLY way to get even a MOMENTS relief from the pain)#(and it also helps to stop my migraines or at least reduce them)#(so - i have tips for self inducing vomiting lol)
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y. Yknow. I could lay down.
#I could avoid vommimg. Alternatively. I could uh.#yknow?#It’s. it’s so bad. It’d do bad right now by fucking god.#I’m. Honestly#it’s been a while. Go beyond. Reach for the fucking. Stars. Dude. Fuck it. Honestly? Truly. Jesus#I COULD vomit. I could also achieve godhood and stay up for a stupid amount of time. Perhaps achieve some creative shit also#Though uh. Matters less. Right now?right now. I just think. I have it in me to achieve some beautiful things. Blood alcohol percentage#highest percent speedrun. Essentially. Surely that’s. .#y. Yknow?#ohhhh. Christ. I can absolutely do a lot more. It’s. so bad in the meanwhile. Holy shit. I should probably get something in my stomach man#this is. Bad. What the fuck#forgot. Forgot nausea with alcohol and substances gets far worse without. Uh. Food. In stomach. If I manqge to not vomit and eat#Should be set. Very much be set. Only as nauseous as I am at the#moment due to. Empty stomach. Fucking hell. I’ll go over this later for fuckups - same as last post - for now. I simply pass the time#Until im. Able to eat. Hoooooooly fuck
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“how long was the bet supposed to last?”
rin freezes.
your voice is calm. too calm. the kind of calm that feels unnatural, like the quiet before a storm. but there’s no storm in your face—no anger, no hurt, nothing at all. just an empty, unreadable expression that makes his stomach churn.
“who told you?” his voice comes out rough, forced.
you shrug, like it doesn’t even matter. like��he doesn’t even matter. “does it make a difference?”
it doesn’t. he knows that. he also knows that this is bad. really bad.
“was it a week? a month?” you tilt your head slightly, staring him down. “or were you just gonna keep going until you got bored?”
his jaw tightens. “it wasn’t like that.”
“really?” you let out a breathy laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “because from where i’m standing, it kinda seems like it was.”
rin clenches his fists, frustration curling in his chest. frustration at himself, at shidou, at the whole stupid situation that never should’ve happened in the first place.
“you weren’t a joke to me,” he says, voice low.
“that’s funny,” you murmur. “because i kinda feel like one.”
he wants to fix this. to reach out, to grab your wrist, to tell you the truth—how the bet stopped meaning anything the second he got to know you, how he tried to find the right moment to come clean but was too much of a coward to risk losing you.
but he waits too long.
“say something, rin,” you say quietly. “anything.”
he opens his mouth. closes it. because nothing he says right now will be enough.
so you nod, like you expected this, like you already knew how this would end.
“got it.”
and then you walk away.
rin lets you. because what else can he do?
—
the next day, your favorite drink is waiting on your desk.
you don’t touch it.
the day after, rin is standing by your locker, holding out your books.
“you don’t have to do this,” you mutter, not even looking at him.
“i know.” but he still shoves them into your arms before walking away.
the day after that, he shows up at practice late because he spent an hour in line getting that stupid pastry you like.
“you think buying me stuff is gonna fix this?” you ask, raising a brow.
“no.” he stares at the bag in your hands. “but i know you like them, so just take it.”
you sigh, but you don’t give it back.
on friday, he carries your bag before you can complain, waits for you after school even though you ignore him the whole walk home, and when you finally snap and ask what the hell he’s doing, he just says, “making it up to you.”
saturday morning, you open your door to find him standing there, hair messy, dark circles under his eyes, holding a stupidly large bag of snacks.
“seriously?” you cross your arms. “you’re still on this?”
“yeah.”
“why?”
he exhales sharply, rubbing the back of his neck. “because i’m not giving up on you.”
you blink, caught off guard by how sure he sounds. how raw he looks.
he looks tired. frustrated. desperate.
like this actually means something to him. like you actually mean something to him.
you chew on your lip, eyes flicking between him and the bag in his hands.
“…you got my favorites?”
“obviously.”
“did you get the right drink this time?”
he exhales, shoving it into your hands. “yes.”
you stare at it for a moment. then sigh, stepping aside.
“fine. come in before you start looking even more pathetic.”
rin doesn’t need to be told twice. he steps inside, and for the first time all week, his chest feels a little lighter.
he still has a long way to go, he knows that. but if you’re letting him in, even just a little, then maybe, just maybe, he still has a chance to prove that this was never just a bet to him.
#rin itoshi#bllk#blue lock#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#itoshi rin#bllk x you#rin itoshi x reader#rin x reader#rin itoshi x you#bluelock#itoshi x reader#itoshi rin fluff#itoshi rin x reader#itoshi rin x you#itoshi rin x y/n#itoshi rin angst#blue lock x you#blue lock fluff#bllk fluff#bllk rin#blue lock rin#bllk rin itoshi#bllk rin x reader#☕️ riu! writes#ᥫ᭡. bllk
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I should eat but I'm scared of putting my body through pain
#at least i finished my work#and the guest left#and i took my ibs med#but ughhhh i think today is gonna be a bad stomach day...#not like it's all that different from how my other days have been recently#but i feel more nauseous than usual#guh#i don't really want to eat anything but i also think having an empty stomach is making my symptoms worse#i'm gonna feel gross and nauseous no matter what :/#feels like i'm dying but whatever
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리노. thinking about dryhumping with minho. he likes to underestimate you, so fucking smug and cocky and saying the meanest shit just to get under your skin. he just thinks you look so cute the angrier you get. but he doesn’t find it too funny when you’re sat all pretty on his lap, working his swollen cock back and forth across his stomach underneath your drenched cunt - and there’s nothing he can do about it but fist the edge of the bed frame where you have him cuffed, muttering something under his breath about how he’s gonna fuck you to tears when he figures a way out of those things.
but he’s shutting up as soon as you’re slowing the movement of your hips, just whimpering and moaning and heavy breathing with every slide of pussy, heated and wet against the length of his sensitive cock. he likes to act composed and like he has you right under his thumb, and usually he does. normally he has you wrapped around his finger with the simple promise of dick, giving you everything before ripping it away when he feels your pussy quivering around his cock, just to see those pretty tears line your lashes when he leaves your cunt sad and empty. but with the way he was panting and whining and damn near crying, desperate to be inside you, he clearly wasn’t as calm and collected as he likes to claim. “please, c’mon. just let me out of these things and i’ll fuck you so good,” he’s still tugging on the cuffs, arms tense and knuckles white, adams apple bobbing as soon as you press down on him even more, not leaving an inch of dick uncovered as bare flesh suffocates the length of his cock. and he’s so sure, so convinced that you’ll give in and give him what he wants, getting rid of those fucking handcuffs and fucking you until you’re sorry for ever putting him in them. “but where’s the fun in that?” that one question is enough to rip all hope away from him, lips quivering and eyes stinging cause he just wants to cum so bad :(
it’s just so fun to tease minho sometimes - he always acts untouchable, like he’s doing you a favour by dicking you down, like the twitch of his cock was easy to ignore when he’s busy torturing your poor cunt. but now, with the way his eyes are rolling into the back of his skull with every hot drag of your pussy, how he chokes on his whimpers when your cunt shifts forward, hooking against the tip of his dick, feeling the swell of his cock clearing through a sticky mixture of precum and arousal - it was easy to see he wasn’t as in control as he’d like to be.
he’s also a little impatient, gets a little nasty with his words when the swell of his cock becomes almost painful with the way it was twitching and crying into your pussy - if he moved his hips up even an inch he’d be nudging himself deep into your dripping core and finally finding the release he’s so pitifully chasing after. “gonna make you pay for this. that pussy is as good as fucked as soon as i’m out of these things ugh-“ he’s cutting himself off with a choked gasp, head thrown back and chest heaving when your fingers reach down to press on the drooling slit of his cockhead, continuing to mash his dick back and forth in shallow thrusts, angling your clit so that his cock was barely bumping into the dip of your pussy, just an inch, but enough to coax more of those pretty begs from his lips.
“fuck, so warm. please baby, just let me fuck you, even just the tip. please, swear i’ll be so good for you.” and he’s loud. loud enough that the rest of his members could probably hear him through the walls. hear how pathetic he becomes when he doesn’t get what he wants. but minho can’t find it in himself to care, not when he’s so close, throat raw and dick twitching and an unquenched need to cum making his pretty eyes gloss over with tears, cock full and red and crying with precum. his eye twitches with every stroke of pussy, each shallow grind pulling more fucked out whimpers out of him - until finally he’s cumming onto your folds in hot, thick ropes of cum. and it’s so unsatisfying that he could cry, cock sore and softening against your clit, cum dribbling onto your nub and painting your cunt in his load until it’s hot and sticky to the touch. his chest is heaving, heartbeat loud in his ears as you continue to grind down onto his limp cock, using his cum to wedge effortlessly between your folds as you use him to get yourself off - the same way he’s done so many times before with your tired pussy. and it’s almost cute the way he chokes and sobs and stutters underneath you, knees trembling and forehead sweaty and toes curling, begging you to finally show him some mercy.
but why should you? he’s never been nice to you, never paid your pretty whimpers any mind when he’s stretching you out on his dick, laughed straight in your face a few times when you’ve begged him to go easy on you and only fucked you even harder for even suggesting it. and you tell him such, tell him that he’s getting exactly what he deserves. and he hates that you’re right.
© seungisms - all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.
#sub!minho i’ll always be ur number one fan 😔#guys please give her some love i put all (1) brain cells to work to write this#stray kids smut#stray kids imagines#stray kids reactions#stray kids scenarios#stray kids x reader#skz scenarios#skz smut#skz reactions#skz imagines#skz x reader#lee minho smut#lee minho x reader#lee know smut#lee know x reader#minho smut#minho x reader#blurbs
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FLATLANDS



Hotch sends you and Spencer to Iowa to conduct a death row interview with an inmate. Thing is, there's not much to do in Iowa but fuck.
pairing: spencer reid x bau!reader
tags/warnings: 18+, wc: 5.9k, whew, smut, porn w plot, piv sex, unprotected sex, drunk sex, oral sex (both receiving), fingering, soft-dom spencer ish, biting, praise kink, this is so self-indulgent muahahaha, discussions of a case, but nothing too bad it's canon typical stuff, iowa hate idgaf!!, drinking/getting drunk, i think that's it!
notes: this is likeeee. one of my first times writing longer smut. also i did in fact say i would re-upload old re-worked fics before posting anything new but alas! i am a liar! here is something brand new! i spent like. 9 straight hours on this yesterday. and it is currently almost 8 am and i just spent all night finishing it up instead of sleeping. ALSO i am in fact a philosophy major (future barista moment) and my fics get soooo. philosophy-esque. like. every single time. i'm sorry... i am who i am.
If you had to remove one state from the contiguous union, it would be Iowa.
You’re standing in a rusty hotel room, which, according to Hotch, is the best they could do to accommodate you. And Spencer. He’s one room over. Your feet vibrate against the rug. You tell yourself it’s the thought of him, one wall over — thinking, sitting, reading, whatever he’s doing — and not some rare kind of bacteria you’re going to catch from the stink of this place.
Hotch sent you and Reid here for a death row interview. One of the inmates, having spent the past seventeen years as a self-proclaimed monk, decided he was done with silence. He answered the bureau’s request for an interview in a letter addressed to Hotch’s desk, written in red ink. It’s your first prison interview — you usually wear the bad guys down before they’re locked away forever — but Spencer has done one or two, he said. You think it might be more.
You’d never been to Iowa, never had a case here. You’re not great with time off, even worse with real vacations. You don’t look out your window for fear the corn fields have gotten closer since you last peeked through the curtains. You swear you can see twenty miles out; the flatness makes it easy to mistake the horizon for something that never, ever ends.
You’re picking at the skin of your fingernails, toes curled as they still rest but resist against the carpet, when there’s a knock at your door. You don’t check, because you’re not really fearful. It might make you a shitty FBI agent, but you doubt anyone is tracking you down in Iowa. (Iowa. It gets worse each time you think it.)
“Hi,” Spencer says, lips pulled flat. Flat. You think of fields. Corn. Emptiness. Your stomach churns then lurches when you think of your own bed in your own home in a state that has real hills and mountains and trees.
“Hi.”
“Thought you might want to look over the file before tomorrow?” He frames it like a question, and you offer a soft smile at his hesitancy before opening the door to let him in. He turns his body to the left to avoid making contact with you as he accepts the invitation and walks on through.
Your bed is still made, your suitcase resting on top of it. He scrunches his nose before recovering.
“I’m not a germaphobe, like someone we both know,” you mock.
“Maybe you should be.” You laugh. You’ve been his teammate for three years now, and it still gets you when he decides he can lighten up and make a joke.
He looks around, still awkward in the yellow tint of the hotel lamp, then decides to sit in the desk chair in the corner.
“You look so ominous,” you say, shaking your head as you pull the file out of the nightstand.
“Why is your casefile in there?”
“Where do you keep yours?”
“I never put it away.”
“Checks out,” you say, raising your eyebrows and sitting criss-crossed on the edge of your bed, facing him.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Gary Foster,” you read off the top of the page, ignoring his bait. “Killed twenty-three women in his basement. His wife never knew.”
“Or claims she didn’t know,” Spencer corrects.
“You think she did?”
He shrugs. “It doesn’t really matter what I think.”
You glance up at him to find him staring intently at the file in his hands. He’s gripping onto it like it’s all he knows. You store your observations away in your head under a tab titled Perhaps Ask Later.
You’ve gone over this file a dozen times. It’s virtually seared into your memory. Still, you let him tack off the rest of the information to you, compile the intensive profile Hotch gave you into a bullet point list.
“He’s gonna focus on me,” you say once he reaches a lull in speech.
“Because you’re a woman?” he confirms. You nod. “Maybe.”
You tap the file a few times with your fingers as a yawn creeps up your throat, threatening to escape. Spencer seems to get the hint before you even let it out.
“We’ve got a long day tomorrow,” he says before standing. He takes a step forward before turning around and tucking the chair back into the desk. You smile at the politeness. “See you tomorrow?”
“Is that a question?” you tease as you lead him to the door. “I promise I won’t jump out of the window.”
“There’s not much out there.”
“No, there isn’t.” He fumbles with the key for the door across the hall. You wait for him to open it before you start to close yours, the way you would after driving a friend at home. “Night.”
“Night,” he says, though the latter half of the word is muffled by the shut of the door.
The room is barren again. You open the curtains now that it’s nearing total darkness outside.
It takes six more hours for you to drift off into sleep.
–
Your hand is immediately on your temple when you awake, rubbing at the budding headache you know will consume you once you get up. This is the punishment you get for allowing yourself only three hours of sleep.
The sunlight hits your bed in fluttering intervals of perfect warmth and scorching heat. This time, when the hindmost rolls around, you force yourself up and place your feet on the ground. You hold your tongue to refrain from releasing a long string of fucks and shits and realize your hand is still refusing to move from its spot rubbing circles in your face. When you make your way to the bathroom, you realize the bed is so hard you’ve left no indent.
The sting of the shower is pelting, boiling enough that it feels purifying. After a night spent in sheets you’re sure dozens have sweat through, it’s more than welcome. The heat is the perfect substrate for the anticipatory dread of today’s interview. Speaking to monsters as if there’s a hint of human behind the stitching has never pulled at you in the right way.
If anything, it’s slowly pulled you apart.
The outlet in your bathroom is broken so you’re forced to dry your hair sitting on the carpet of the room, right next to that window that stares out into nowhere. You feel itchy just sitting on it. You swear the fibers are pressing into your skin, merging with your skin.
The file is open on the floor in front of you, and you use your thumb to wipe the water falling from your damp hair. The pages already begin to curdle like the feeling in your stomach.
You put your hair in a ponytail, then worry it’s too sexual — because you’ve absorbed the profile and you know what earns a check on this guys list —- so you take it down and let it rest on your shoulders again. Your knees crack when you stand up and your hip tenses up like it might, too, when you slip your legs into your pants.
There’s a knock on your door and you mutter fuck as you balance your time between finishing the rest of the buttons on your blouse and stumbling to the door.
“I need a couple minutes,” you say, before you say hello. You leave the door open as you retreat farther into the room. “You can wait in here.”
You squeeze your feet into your heels — half a size too small, and in your head you call the saleslady who insisted on that being necessary for this brand a word that would make your grandmother sour — and peripherally watch him step into the room, hands stuffed in his pockets.
“You ready?” he asks. You can feel his eyes on your unmade bed.
“Mhm.” You glance in the square mirror facing the bed and smooth out your clothes.
“I mean for the interview,” he says after clearing his throat.
“My answer remains.”
“Cool.” He says it in the way that feels fraudulent, but is really just the way he speaks, you’ve come to realize.
“Are you ready?” you ask back, muffled by the file placed between your teeth as you fumble around your desk for your car keys and room card. You make eye contact with him as you head for the door.
“Don’t really have much of a choice, do I?”
“Stand up straight,” you say, holding the door open for him as you both step into the hallway.
“What?” he mutters. He does it anyway.
“He’s gonna zero in on you if you seem to lack confidence.”
“Right.”
It’s silence between you two in the hallway, the elevator, the lobby, and until you’re pulling out of the parking lot. There’s overgrown wheatgrass in the field to your left and plowed corn crop to your right. The furrows stretch on until the curve of the earth swallows them up.
The sky is dull, slate-colored, and bears striking resemblance to something that could wipe you clean. Grain silos whir by every couple of minutes. These people really own a lot of fucking land. Every few miles, a new one, along with a rusting tractor or collapsing barn or crop that looks about ready to dry up and blow away. It gets predictable after mile seven.
The prison doesn’t appear so much as it settles into your vision. It’s low to the ground, sprawling, gray. A scar pressed into the ground.
You feel like Spencer the way you’ve completely memorized the profile. You flash your badge at the gate, sign some kind of form and drive into a parking lot that feels as far from the prison as your hotel was.
Spencer lingers in the car two seconds after you get out. He’s nervous, and he’s trying not to show it. You don’t want to mention it, but you need to be on the same page, so you don’t stop your lips from unfurling.
“You’re doing that thing again.”
“What thing?”
“The anxious math,” you say. “You’re calculating the probability of saying the wrong thing before we even walk in.”
“That’s-” He seems to think better than arguing and redirects his sentence. “That’s not entirely inaccurate.”
You give him one of those closed lip smiles. “He’ll spot it in five seconds. He feeds on nerves like that. First, he’ll comment on your hands, because you fidget when you’re trying not to.”
“You sound like Hotch.”
You scoff out a half-laugh and choose to ignore the comment otherwise. “And he’ll ask how long you’ve known me. If we’re sleeping together. He won’t say it like that, of course. He’ll be crude. He wants to gauge what version of you shows up when you’re off-balance.”
“Why would that knock me off balance?” he asks. The hesitancy has stolen his tone again.
“You fluster easily.”
“Do I?”
“Mhm. You blink three times, touch your collar, and then deflect with statistics. You did it the first time I challenged you during a case.”
He tuts then holds the door of the prison open for you. “You’re profiling me.”
“Of course I am,” you say, then turn your head over your shoulder, waiting for him to walk back up beside you again. He’s close behind you, so close you can almost feel his breath on you. It makes you feel warm. “So will he.”
You greet two more guards inside before shaking hands with the warden. He thanks you for coming with that grim look on his face that everyone in this field seems to have permanently etched into the creases of their skin. The prison is colder inside than it has any right to be, as if the concrete has learned to hold onto every winter it’s ever survived.
“Still nervous?” you whisper to Spencer.
He smiles, shakes his head no.
Good, you mouth.
You pretend not to notice his eyes fixate for a beat longer than necessary on your lips. You lick them in response. When he meets your eyes again, you pretend not to notice that something undecipherable is hidden behind his lids, too.
—
Foster smiles when you walk in. He doesn’t look at Spencer. You let Spencer pull your chair out for you, which immediately catches the guy’s attention. You think of still water, use it as a guide for being calm.
“Well,” Foster says. He hasn’t dropped the smile from his face. “They sent a good-looking one.”
“We, the FBI, are really grateful you chose to cooperate with us,” you say. “You know, in your final days.”
“Hm.” He turns to Spencer, finally. “She yours?”
You don’t look at him, and you will him to ignore him, to start asking him the standard questions. What’s your name? What year were you born?
“She’s her own,” he says instead. It comes out even and flat.
“You hesitated,” Foster says. His smile shows his teeth, now. “I suppose that’s not a crime.”
“No,” you agree. You open your file and lay a picture of his mugshot on the table. You can tell he was expecting photos of one of the women whose life he stole away. “But murder is.”
Spencer clears his throat and nudges your ankle with the tip of his shoe. You give him no reaction, but the next time you reach for the file, you let your fingertips brush against his wrist.
—
“That wasn’t awful,” Spencer says when you step out, though he says it like he’s releasing one big breath born out of a collection of accumulated air trapped in his lungs.
Foster did say something crude. You’d prefer not to repeat it, mostly because you’re not sure if Spencer was blushing or if he was just hot.
The prison was freezing, you remind yourself. Then you shove the thought back down.
“It wasn’t great,” you say. “I wish I’d pushed him further about—”
“Stop,” he says. His hand is on your bicep now. “Don’t overthink it, you did great.”
“Okay,” you say. “Don’t profile me, now.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
The walk back to the car leaves you sticky and hot. You note, aimlessly, that Iowa gets hot enough if you let it — if you stay long enough to let it swelter.
“Our flight’s not till the morning,” you groan, slamming the car door shut.
“Not a fan of Iowa?”
“In how many languages do you know how to say fuck no?”
“Twelve," he says. His eyes flit to the ceiling. “No, fourteen.”
“Ridiculous.”
—
You crash as soon as you get back to your hotel room. You sleep for what feels like two hours but you know is way longer than that, and when you finally peel your eyes open you’re sweating. You’re clinging to your sheets, and you consider yourself bed-ridden as you roll over and check your phone. Hotch has sent you three messages asking for updates. Your stomach twinges with guilt for not answering, though you figure he probably moved on and texted Spencer.
Spencer.
You feel bad. You had ditched him, retreating to your hotel room the second you guys got back. You wonder what he did, if he got food, though there’s not much to do in Iowa. In fact, there’s nothing to do in Iowa.
You slip out of your clothes and take a quick rinse-off in the shower. Your hair is still wet when you adorn yourself in a gray t-shirt and sleep shorts and creep over across the hall. Your fist raps against the door three times, then twice more for good measure.
“Hi?”
“Hi,” you say, inviting yourself in as you push past him. It’s identical to yours, but everything’s on the opposite side. “Nice room.”
“Much nicer than yours.”
“Oh, for sure.” You clap your hands together, then flop down on the bed. “So, whatcha been up to?”
He nods his head at a book on the nightstand. You stretch over and pick it up. The History of Iowa’s Small Towns.
“Little on the nose, isn’t it, doctor?”
“It’s interesting.”
“Your mind amazes me,” you whisper, then place it back on the nightstand.
“Have you eaten?” he asks.
“I’m not really hungry,” you say. When he quirks his eyebrow, you add: “Really, I can’t eat for, like, at least two hours after I wake up.”
“You were asleep?”
You nod. “Couldn’t last night. You didn’t think I just ditched you, did you?”
He shrugs. “I wouldn’t have minded.”
You place a hand over your heart. “Well, doctor, I’m just plain offended.”
He smiles, real, genuine. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“How’d you mean it?” you ask. You move up on the bed, as if it’s your own, making space for him to sit next to you.
He sighs, like he really doesn’t want to indulge in this conversation, but his lips pry open and you know he will. “Morgan always says I ramble too much.”
You shrug. “What’s much, anyway?”
“Well, if you’re not hungry,” he starts, lifting himself off the bed and over to the mini fridge, “are you thirsty?”
“My, my.” You smile, teeth and all. “I didn’t know you drank on the job.”
“Not technically on the job anymore, am I?” He holds up a little bottle. “It’s not exactly a martini, but it’s all I’ve got unless you want lukewarm ginger ale.”
You accept the bottle with mock ceremony and open it the second it’s in your hands. “Guess federal per diems only cover motel whiskey. Honestly, this is probably the classiest thing happening in Iowa tonight.”
He laughs softly, twisting open his own cap. “From what I’ve read, and seen, that’s a low bar.”
You raise yours. “To meeting the bar.”
He tilts his head, scrunches his nose. “To stepping over the bar with minimal effort.”
You both take a sip. It’s terrible. You make a face.
He sees it and raises an eyebrow. “Too refined for hotel whiskey?”
“Just surprised it didn’t come with a warning label,” you say, setting the bottle down on the nightstand. “Or a tetanus shot.”
“Don’t worry,” he says, taking another sip of his. “I’m sure the Iowa Department of Health is on it.”
You nod solemnly. “They’re probably just as fast as the Wi-Fi.”
That gets a small smile from him. He sits on the edge of the bed, a little closer than before, but still careful. He’s always so careful.
There’s a lull, full of quiet until the nighttime air-conditioning kicks on and you’re too tired to pretend anything really matters for a while.
“You ever drink from the mini bar before? Like, during a case?” you ask eventually.
“Only when I expect to be stranded somewhere like this.”
“Smart,” you say.
He glances at you, amusement tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Can’t profile your way out of a cornfield without it.”
You hum in agreement. “I’m not sure if that’s depressing.”
He shrugs, taking another sip. “Probably.” His hand falls to his side, dangerously close to your thigh.
You accept another one. And then another one. You’re sure he’s going shot for shot with you, but you can’t really tell because your head is full and everything’s hazy and suddenly this bed is so, so comfortable.
You lie back, legs still dangling off the edge, and stare up at the popcorn ceiling like it might reveal state secrets. “Did you know Iowa had one of the highest populations of covered bridges?”
Spencer blinks. “Iowa doesn’t.”
You squint. “It doesn’t?”
“No,” he says, amused. “That’s Madison County. Which is in Iowa. But it’s a specific — actually, nevermind. I’m not sure either of us are in a state for nuance.”
You wag a lazy finger at the ceiling. “I knew that.”
“Sure,” he says, and leans back beside you with a soft thud, hands crossed over his stomach. “Next you’ll tell me Iowa invented jazz.”
“It didn’t?” You cant your head to the side, a smile playing at your lips.
“God, no.”
You sigh dramatically. “And here I thought this trip was educational.”
He turns his head just slightly toward you. His breath is hot, hotter than it was earlier, and his words are all slurred. You think you might sound the same but don’t keep yourself in line long enough to actually check. “You’ve learned a lot. For example, you’ve learned not to trust the minibar.”
“And that your idea of a good time is reading municipal histories.”
“I sensed you were captivated.”
You pull an arm over your face. “Do you always get this cocky after drinking?”
He tilts his head like he’s genuinely thinking about it. “I think I just feel safe knowing I’m not the only one embarrassing myself.”
You haul a leg up to bend into the bed with you and nudge him with your knee. “You’re not embarrassing. You’re weird. Like, in the good way.”
He doesn’t say anything for a moment, but you can hear the smile in his voice when he finally says: “Thanks. You’re weird too.”
“Weird and drunk.” You repeat the word drunk a few more times, drawing out a different syllable each time. “Spencer?”
“Hm?”
“Don’t let me fall asleep here.”
“You say that like I have any control over you,” he murmurs. Your breath catches. Neither of you move.
You peek at him from under your arm. “Are you flirting with me?”
“What?”
“Whatever. Then don’t speak with that— that tone. Or I’ll start to think you’re flirting with me.”
“I’m not really flirting with you.”
You let the arm drop, but not to the mattress; it finds its way to the sleeve of his shirt, playing with the fabric. “Not really or not yet?”
“That depends,” he says, voice dropped low to a whisper. “Would yet be a problem?”
You roll onto your elbow, looming over him. “Guess we’ll have to find out.”
It lands like a match.
“What are you doing?” he asks. Your lips are the closest they’ve ever been.
“I don’t know.” Your eyes move to where his hand has started to creep onto your thigh. “What are you doing?”
He moves first, but only barely. His head tilts up, lips parting like he’s about to ask a question.
He gets his answer in the shape of your lips.
Your hand finds the edge of his jaw, fingers skimming up the side of his face. He’s warm. Still flushed from the whiskey or maybe just from you.
You’re kissing, you think. You. Spencer. Kissing. It should make you pull back. You work with him. This is strictly forbidden — that should definitely make you pull back.
But then his fingers press into your hips, grounding you, and you shift, and you’re straddling him before you’ve thought it through. It’s automatic, desperate, like the tension finally cracked open and all that’s left is the pull.
“Still not on the job?” you murmur between kisses, breath brushing his lips.
He shakes his head. “Not even a little.”
He starts to kiss you deeper, like he wants to memorize it. You wonder if he is. Your hands move up under his shirt, and his breath slips, just for a second. Just long enough to make you smile into his mouth.
There’s nothing quiet about any of this. Just heat. And want. And finally.
You roll your hips once as a test. When he tightens his grip on you, you have half the mind to do it again, and again, and again.
Suddenly, all you can think of are your clothes on the ground and him inside you.
“Fuck,” he mutters. You release his lips from yours.
“Fuck?”
“Shh,” he hushes, trying to silence you, but you’re already laughing.
“Oh my god, Dr. Spencer Reid, esteemed supervisory special agent, holder of three PhDs, just said fuck.” You whisper the last part, hand clutching at your chest.
“Will you please resume what we were just doing?”
“My fucking pleasure.”
“Jesus,” he squeezes out. Your hands remove themselves from where they were resting under his shirt and head to the waist of his pants. You watch his chest rise a little quicker, fall with a little more readiness. His hands release your hips and come up to grip your wrists. “I say fuck one time and I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“Maybe we can put it in another context.” You unhook your legs from their desired place around his hips and scooch yourself down his body. Your fingers, which were just barely, ever so delicately toying with his waistband, curl into both the cotton of his pants and his boxers and tug down at once. He helps you, hips coming off the bed just enough for you to drop them both to his ankles.
He’s already hard, and your mouth is already hollow, already anticipating something to fill a long-lasting void. You say his name, but it sounds off, because your mouth is already imagining itself wrapped around something far less innocent than words.
His hand comes up to your face, brushing your cheekbone, and the feeling is too soft to name but impossible to ignore. You feel as though all the heat in the room has gotten sucked between your legs, and it pools low, desire biting at the edges of restraint.
“You don’t have to,” he says, watching you spit in your hand. You roll your eyes before wrapping the newly wet hand around him.
“I’m going to. Just stay like that.”
You stroke him softly, just a few times before spitting on the tip and working it back down. He whispers your name like its wax, made to melt. You’re not thinking and your voice is velvet when you ask him how long it’s been since he’s been touched like this, the way he deserves to be. Too long, comes his response, and you vow to yourself to show him what he’s been missing.
The next time you bring your lips up to release more spit, you reach down and kiss it. Just the tip, and just ever-so-slightly. You’re not sure he noticed at first, so you do it again, this time more pronounced, and then he’s removing his hand from your face and bringing it up to your hair. His grip is firm enough to anchor, not enough to command.
When you open your lips more, he tightens his grip. When you make your way down, syrup-slick and mouth dripping of sin, he coils his want at the nape of your neck and pulls. You moan around him, which earns you another tug.
“That feels good,” he whispers. “So fucking good.”
You’re drunk enough that the praise feels more than trembling and temporary. You take it for more than it probably is and pick up your pace.
He lasts not a minute longer before he’s guiding you off of him, and you couch as you come up for air.
“I don’t want to finish yet,” he mumbles.
“No?”
“No.” He pulls you up off the ground, one hand on your wrist and the other still in your hair. “Wanna take care of you too. Do you want that? Yeah? Lie down for me.”
You do as you're told, nodding along the way, agreeing fervently and with little free will. You’re drooling, enough that it slips past your lips. He brings his index finger up to your face, collecting it on the pad of his finger and pushing it back into your mouth. Instinctively, you suck. He groans, low, a noise you never would have expected to hear from him, and it makes you shut your legs, thighs rubbing together slightly as you try to fight the feeling festering around your limbs.
He kneels before you, the same way you had with him. “Is this what you want?” You nod. “No, use your words.” He pries your legs open, blows between them.
Your back is coming up off the bed, enough for him to bring a hand up and grab your waist again. “Yes.”
He wastes little time attaching his mouth to you, tongue everywhere, while his fingers leave bruises in your side. One of your hands is gripping the sheets so hard you can feel your fingernails digging into your palm even through it. This can’t be real, you think, because nothing real feels this good. And this feels so, so good.
You feel fucked out and he hasn’t even put anything inside of you. It’s just his tongue swiping against you, swirling around your clit, sucking your clit, kissing your clit. You can’t think. At some time you stop being aware of what he’s doing and just let him do it.
His hand leaves your hip and you feel it pulse, throbbing at the loss of harsh connection. Then, he forces your fist to open, to release the white fabric, and he locks your fingers together. It feels intimate, more intimate than his mouth on you, and if you were sober you might have shrugged him away. But you’re not. You’re drunk. Very drunk. So instead you hold his hand harder.
His free hand is trailing along your thigh, and when you glance down at him his eyes are closed, and he looks content, satisfied, and you’re not sure you ever want to unfold from this position. He uses his other hand to trail up and down your thigh before his errant fingers find their way farther up your legs.
When he slips two inside you, both at once, no warning, you mewl.
He detaches his mouth from you, like he wants to focus solely on finger fucking you. When you glance down at him again, he gives you a perfunctory smile before focusing back at the task he’s chosen to take up. He’s practically gift-wrapping your orgasm.
“Right there,” you choke out when his fingers curl at the exact right moment in the exact right spot. You don’t announce that you’re coming, but Spencer is a genius. You’re sure he can figure it out. Everything comes undone in waves, the way seafoam spits back into the sand before dissipating, carrying itself back out into a vaster part of the water.
“Good job,” he says. He kisses you. You can taste your slick on his lips.
“Spencer.”
“You’ve said that already.” You’d laugh if you weren’t so unraveled. “I’m gonna fuck you now, okay?”
“Mhm.”
“What did we say about using our words?”
“To… use them?”
“You’re so smart,” he says, and you can hear him breathing in the way that means he’s trying not to laugh as he presses scattered kisses across your cheek, jaw, lips. “Can you speak up and show me how smart you are?”
“I want you to fuck me.”
“Knew you had it in you.” One of his hands is pressed into the mattress next to your head, and the other is absent from your body. When you finally open your eyes, you look down to see him lining himself up with you.
There’s a pinch in your throat as you feel him ease himself inside, slowly, deliberately, like he’s scared you might crumble and break beneath him. You won’t, which you assure him by using one hand to grab onto his bicep and the other to rest on his hip, guiding him all the way inside of you.
"I got so mad, earlier," he says. "When he was talking about you like that."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize," he whispers. "Don't fucking apologize."
The heat is back, swirling in your stomach, rushing up your chest like every vein you have has replaced blood with feverish fire. Spencer throws more gasoline on it when he slides almost all the way out, then pushes himself back in. You’re quiet, and even the air around you seems to have hushed itself.
When he finds a rhythm, he takes advantage of it. Fucks you a little harder, just enough that you can’t close your mouth, can’t quiet yourself even when you try. You’re trying to tread carefully, but you don’t have it in you to not tip your chin up and search for a kiss. You move your other hand to wrap around his forearm, the one right next to your head, and you can’t stop yourself from digging your nails into the skin when he gives you one particularly hard thrust.
“Do that again,” you whisper.
“This?” he asks, though it’s more of a mock. He does it again, this time a little slower. You feel like crying, because you have no other outlet for what exactly it is you’re currently feeling. When he does it again you have no choice but to squeeze your eyes shut. He kisses you again, idly, like you’ve got all the time in the world. You’re not sure you have more than five minutes in you before you pass out. “You feel so good.”
“Needed you.”
“Yeah?” he says. Your words seem to have made him snap his hips against yours a little harder.
He uses one of his hands to grab under your thigh, then pushes your leg up. You let out a broken moan you don’t even register as your own until he stretches you farther apart and you do it again. You’d be embarrassed if you weren’t clawing at an indescribable edge. You feel ripe. Nothing holy is coming for you. You arch your back like it might.
"Mine." He says it while looking down at you. He says it with his chest. He says it like it's an absolute.
You bring your hand to the back of his neck and make him kiss you. Once for the thrill, twice just to feel the burn of it really settle in.
Then you come. And everything else does, too. It’s unraveling. Not fingers but friction, not skin but static, not breath but flood. The room is slipping sideways, hips first, mouth second. you forget your name or maybe you give it away. There's no shape to anything, to the sting between your legs, only pulse — wet, reckless, existing in the hollows of your thighs. When he bends down and lets out a sound that sounds suspiciously like your name, your teeth catch on his shoulder like a warning. He doesn’t flinch. You bite down harder.
Nothing makes sense for a while except the sound of the air-conditioner.
Spencer says something. Then again. Then, he taps your cheek twice, says your name until you come to.
“Hm?”
“You okay?”
“‘m okay. Are you okay?”
He laughs. It’s quiet and hoarse and still warm. “Yes ma’am.”
“Hmmmm.”
“Hmm what?’
“I like that. We’ll use that ‘nother time.” You let out a heavy sigh as he chuckles. He slips out of you and you suck in a breath that catches in the pockets of your teeth, cold and shocking against the roof of your mouth.
“Sorry.” You shake your head and hope it conveys that he has nothing to apologize for. He rolls over next to you. “You should pee.”
“Pee schmee.”
“I think I’m gonna retract my previous statements about your high level of intelligence now.” You smack him with your hand and laugh, hearty and probably too loud.
“I’m still drunk,” you say after a few more moments of silence.
“I think that’s how that whole drinking thing works, yeah.”
“Do you regret it?”
“No.” His answer comes quicker than you were expecting.
“Okay. Me neither. Just checking.” You blow hair out of your face, and when that doesn’t work you bring a palm up and use the strength of four fingers to wipe it away from the sweat gathering in satin sheets across your skin. “I hate this room.”
“Me too.”
“I don’t hate you,” you whisper.
“Well,” he whispers back. “I don’t hate you either.”
“Do you wanna maybe… I don’t know. Not be on the job tomorrow morning?”
It might just be the alcohol, but his expression is soft and lush, like when dawn’s light shudders through early morning fog.
“I would like that.”
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i want you.
remus lupin x fem!reader | masterlist
summary ��� remus x best friend!reader -- or in which you're in love with your best friend, but he's not exactly in love with you back... angst
word count ༄ 3.2k
nora’s notes ༄ eeek my first writing post!! i'm so excited. this is kind of bad but IDC part two will be coming and i swear will be better written okay enjoy!! mwah 💘
“moony!” you sing-song as you twirl into his dorm, lips spread into a wide grin. “we’re leaving for hogsmeade, hurry up.”
he’s on his bed, glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose as he glances up from his book, suppressing a smile when he sees you. “hi, y/n.”
he embodies the word comfort, you think. he’s wearing one of his trademark warm wool sweaters, an empty mug of tea by his knee, gray blanket draped across his lap, and that smile. it would be the death of you, you were sure of it.
“hi,” you respond, clasping his book and setting it onto his bedside table. “c’mon, everyone’s waiting for us downstairs.”
he sighs so deeply you think he might crack a lung, and loops his pointer finger through one of the belt loops of your jeans to pull you onto his bed. “do we have to?”
as much as you’d like to stay here with him, you also want to buy more chocolate frogs, so you spring back up, tugging at his hand. “yes, please. i’m low on my candy stock.”
he groans, letting you pull him off of his bed and out of the dorm. “your sweet tooth is killing me.”
you shrug. “that’s what you signed up for when you said yes to being friends in first year. now you’re just living with it.”
he just hums in agreement, letting you wrap your arm around his. remus lupin, your best friend. he’s the kindest man you’ve ever met, let alone known. it would be a lie to say you weren’t completely and utterly in love with him, and even more of a lie to say you hadn’t been since before you were a teenager, even if you didn’t understand it then. but, alas, as soon as you’d admitted it to yourself, you also resolved to never, ever tell him. you were sure he didn’t feel the same about you, and why would you carelessly toss away the best friendship and most understanding person ever just for some feelings?
and so, you waited and hoped, prayed that it would go away. you would move on and keep your friendship.
and, of course, you didn’t.
“y/n!” james calls once he sees the two of you walking down the stairs to where the rest of the marauders are waiting. “finally.”
“we sent you up like ten minutes ago,” peter complains, frowning.
you shrug. “oops.”
remus shifts his arm to settle around your waist, nudging you in front of him. “well, we’re here now, so get a move on.”
you thread the hand he placed on your stomach with your own, thumb rubbing circles onto his. he smiles down on you, and that smile, oh, lord. you could see it a million times and never have enough. you’d jump over bridges to have him watch you like that all the time. you’d sell your soul to be his, really and truly. and the worst part is, you have no shame about it. merlin, you’re in love.
—
jelly beans or chocolate frogs, that is the question. you glance at one, then the other, then the other again. your shoulders slump. it’s too hard of a decision. you’re about to cave and get both when you feel warm arms wrap around your waist, a chin settling onto your shoulder. without looking, you press a kiss to remus’ cheek. “hi.”
“hi,” he replies, inhaling your scent, nose tucked between your ear and your hair.
“chocolate frogs or jelly beans?” you ask anxiously, holding up the two in front of you. “or both?”
“both,” he agrees with you, and you can feel the tension slowly leaving him as he stands behind you, entwined with you.
you nod, happy with his judgment, about to speak when someone beats you to it.
“remus?” a voice yells from behind, excitement coloring her tone.
you know who this is without looking too, but you wish you didn’t. remus slowly stands back to his whole height, and the sudden absence of his warmth makes you shiver. you turn just as he does, even if you don’t want to see the girl beaming at him.
you know her, of course you do. doesn’t everyone know celeste huxley, the most beautiful hufflepuff to grace hogwarts’ campus? angels sing when she walks past, men and women fall to her feet in her wake. she’s worshiped, adored. okay, you’re being dramatic, but still.
you hate her.
you hate her silky hair, her evergreen smile, her cesspool of kindness.
and you hate yourself more for hating her. she’s never been mean to you a day in her life, she couldn’t be mean to anyone even if she tried. but still. she’s who you’ve tried to be your whole life. she is the blueprint, the model with cherry-red high heels you wobble and blister your feet in. she has all Os on her OWLs, victoria’s secret hair, people who love on her like a celebrity. and she’s fucking obsessed with your best friend, of course. she could have anyone in the world, and she picked him. why couldn’t she love sirius or james, like half the girls at the school? why did she have to want remus?
and the worst part is, she deserves him. he deserves someone as perfect as he is, even if that’s celeste.
as you swallow down your hatred, you realize she’s started to pull remus away from you, pulling on his sleeve towards the jelly slugs, and you almost lob your stupid chocolate frog at her head. tears sting your eyes and you try your best to blink them back as you watch remus watch you, only half-listening to her blabber. he knows you hate her, and the most sheepish, guilty look comes over his face. you ignore him, putting your candy back, too upset to think about eating it. luckily, you spot sirius in the corner and quickly try to make your way over him when you’re pulled back.
remus has got ahold of your belt loops again, and you watch him whisper something to celeste before gently removing her hand from his sweater and pulling away. he chose you now, but for how long? the thought chills you, goosebumps prickling your skin, your heart.
“dove,” he says quietly by your ear. “what happened to your candy?”
“didn’t want it,” you mumble, walking towards sirius.
“why not?” he’s dancing around the topic, and both of you know it.
“not hungry.”
“i’m sorry.”
“s’not your fault,” you say. you’re not mad at him, you could never really be mad at him, but you’re upset nonetheless. you push away towards the black-haired boy perusing the shelves. “siri, you done?”
you link arms with your other friend, leading him out of honeyduke’s, leaving remus trailing behind.
—
“hi dove.” a voice, and its accompanying owner, peeks out from the doorway into your dorm. “may i come in?”
“hi rem,” you say in response, beckoning him in, putting your book to the side to let him crawl onto you. “can’t you always?”
his shoulders sag slightly, slumping into your bed as soon as he reaches it. his head is in your lap, and he closes his eyes once you begin to massage his scalp with your fingers, pressing a kiss to your exposed hipbone next to him.
you don’t say anything, you just let the silence dance between the two of you.
he’s so pretty. you brush some of his sandy strands out of his face to let yourself just admire him. the towering giant and all his gentleness. your fingers trace the outlines of his face, the scars that decorate it, all the way down to his right pinky, where he has the cutest tattoo.
i love you is all you want to say. the words pulse at your throat, begging you to let them free. but you can’t. you can’t lose him. anyone else, sure, you would do it. but not him. not remus, your remus.
when he wakes, groggy but grounded, you have a hot cup of tea ready by your bed, ready for his consumption. you hand it to him as soon as he’s fully awake, pulling himself off of you to accept the mug. “i don’t deserve you, dovie.”
“don’t say stuff like that, rem. if anything, you deserve better.” you press a kiss to his cheek, smiling.
“there’s nobody and nothing better than you,” he promises, hand landing on your lower thigh to massage it gently. you smile, letting the quiet linger between the two of you a little longer before speaking up.
“you wanna talk about it?” you ask, watching him sip his tea.
he gives you the most adoring smile, and you want to put it in a box and lock it up and keep it forever. “just tired.”
“okay,” you say, searching his face to verify what he’s saying. “you can always talk to me, you know.”
“thank you.” remus is always sincere, it’s one of the things you love about him, but he seems especially sincere now. “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, y/n.”
“and you are to me,” you whisper, eyes dipping to his plush pink lips. you want to kiss him so badly right now, but you know he just means it like a friend, as much as you wish it wouldn’t.
swallowing, you wipe those ideas away, choosing to rest your head against his fleece sweater-covered shoulder. he drops a kiss onto the top of your head, and you sigh in contentment. this is why you refuse to tell him you love him. you couldn’t live without these moments.
“there’s a party tonight at nine-ish,” he says softly. his thumb is rubbing circles on your knee. “sirius is dragging me along. will you come?”
you contemplate it only briefly. “i’m tired, rem. you should go, though.”
“i’ll stay back with you,” he decides with resolution. your heart melts, it’s sweet of him to want to stay with you, but you want him to have fun. plus, you can feel in how his body coiled with excitement when he talked about it–he wants to go.
“no, go.” you glare playfully at him. “i won’t forgive you if you don’t.”
“i’ll stay with you,” he repeats, staring right back at you. “it’s just a party. i’d stay with you forever, you know? you’re my favorite person.”
“i’ll be mad at you if you don’t go, i swear to merlin,” you egg him on, heart melting.
“no.” he’s too stubborn for his good.
“i want to be alone,” you lie. you know he wants to go and you refuse to hold him back. “i might come later on, just not at nine. i’ll be there at ten, maybe.”
“and i’ll wait for you,” he promises.
“please, remus.” you put on your saddest tone, gaze up at him pleadingly. “i just need some alone time.”
“you want to be alone?” he asks cautiously, searching for any hint you may be lying.
“yes.” you cross your toes, tucked under your quads.
he’s hesitating, and as if in perfect timing, a knock sounds at your door before a familiar head of black hair peeks through.
“moony, let’s go. leave poor y/n alone.” sirius clicks his tongue.
you push remus’ shoulder lightly, gesturing for him to go. he casts one long look at your face, as if memorizing every ridge.
“she’s not going to change while we’re gone, get a move on,” sirius groans from the door. you nod at the statement, and remus concedes.
“i’ll be here the whole time,” you promise.
“call me if you get lonely.” he makes you swear before reluctantly getting up. you kiss his hand to send him off.
you were lying when you said you would join him at nine. five minutes after he’s out the door, you’re fast asleep under the covers, the ghost of his touch comforting you.
—
as soon as your eyes open, you let out a sound of disappointment. you can tell you haven’t slept through the night, as none of your roommates are in their beds, and they always sleep in. the clock reads that it’s only a bit before eight forty five, and you roll over in your bed. you know you won’t be able to fall back asleep, but you try anyway, until the door slams and your eyes fly open.
it’s lily, face flushed with the cold and excitement. the second she sees you kissed by sleep, she covers her mouth. “sorry, y/n! were you sleeping?”
you wave her off. “no, i was already awake. what’s up?”
“james is going to be at the party tonight. will you come? please, please, please? i don’t want to go alone with him,” she begs. “please.”
you weigh your options: if you stay here, you’ll just lay in bed, not sleeping. you might as well go with her, you’ll see remus there too.
“okay,” you agree, and she practically drags you out of bed, she’s so happy.
—
even though lily’s the one who dragged you here to keep her away from james, she’s off with him in a corner within ten minutes of you getting there, leaving you in a sea of other people, alone. of course, you know most of your housemates that are stuffed into this crowded common room, but you don’t know any particular one of them enough to properly go up to and chat. you sit awkwardly on a couch for a few minutes, next to couples making out, before finally just giving up and getting ready to leave.
you saw sirius going into a bedroom with someone, so he’s out of the picture, peter’s smoking in the corner with some ravenclaws you have no interest in speaking with, james is alone with lily, and he’d kill you if you interrupted them, and you have absolutely no clue where remus is.
whatever. you walk towards the door to the girls’ dormitories, stumbling over students on the way, when you just barely catch a glimpse of sandy hair outside on a balcony. you’d know it anywhere–that’s remus. you scramble towards him, eager to see a friendly face, hand cracking the door open, when just as quickly as it came, the excitement dies in your throat.
because just behind remus is a girl you hate to see. celeste, hair floating behind her. if you blink hard enough, you see a breeze wafting through her hair as her fingers knot around remus’–your remus–neck. his hands are on the small curve of her waist, and he’s pushing her against the railing and, oh god–they’re kissing.
you let out a thick gasp and your hand slaps over your mouth. you turn and flee. they probably heard you, but they can’t maneuver through the crowd like you can. within seconds, you’re sure you’ve lost any trace of them, darting through people as you sprint outside to the outside of the castle. sure it’s past curfew, but you can’t bring yourself to care.
no one will see you now.
he’s supposed to be yours. he was yours, he was yours in more than just a best friend. those nights when he fell asleep in your bed, having you wrap your arms around him for warmth, he was yours. when you always visited him post-full moon in the apothecary, and as much as he wishes to push you away, you never let him, he was yours then. when he lets you in, truly and fully, and lets himself cry against you, letting you take care of him for once. you’re the only person he’s ever let himself cry in front of.
and even though you’d deny it a million times, and you did, to sirius, to james, you’ve always hoped that he liked you back. deep down, in the parts of your soul you only ever showed to him. he didn’t have to love you, even. just like, that would be enough. anything would.
but that was too much for him, clearly.
you’re crying. tears, fat and hot, soaking the skin on your cheeks. head in your hands, letting your open palms pool the salty water. you feel nothing but yourself and the wind against the cold of the stone steps, whipping your hair around.
“dove.”
you squeeze your eyes shut, hoping you’re hallucinating, praying the voice you just heard wasn’t real. you couldn’t see him right now. that would be humiliating.
“y/n?”
you crack your eye open when you hear the same voice, trying to swallow your sobs back and failing as they manifest into ugly hiccups. you’re not hallucinating. merlin damn it.
in front of you, peering up at your blotchy face, is remus lupin, your best friend. the man who’s not yours.
he’s on the step below you, but one hand snakes its way onto your knee, soothing your skin with his slender thumb, the other finding your hand to intertwine your fingers. fuck, his touch both makes you lean into him and want to throw up at the same time. his eyes are chock-full of compassion, and god, you hate it. “what’s wrong?”
his words send you blubbering into tears again, rubbing at your eyes as something splits open in your chest. “n-nothing.”
“something’s wrong, love. let me help you. let me in,” he pleads in the softest tone, and you have to fight to not give in, to wrap your arms around him and never let go. remember celeste, remember that terrible sight of his lips on hers.
“remus, leave me alone.” you’re shaking, but somewhere inside you, you find your resolve. you stand, pulling away from him, and make to run back inside the castle, but his long legs catch up to you easily, arm shooting around your waist when your knees buckle and you collapse onto the floor in sobs.
“y/n, you’re scaring me,” he says, panic accumulating in his voice. “please tell me what’s wrong and i’ll fix it, i promise. please, baby. it’s killing me hear you cry.”
you’re so close to the doors, you can see them. you stand again. “you don’t get to say that.”
“what?” his arm’s still around your shoulder and you shove it off.
“stop it! you’re so mean, remus. you don’t get to call me dove and call me baby and say stupid things like how there’s nobody better than me and i’m your favorite person and then go off and kiss other girls,” you spit out on the verge of hyperventilating. you don’t even know what you’re saying anymore. it’s just coming out, spewing out of your mouth like the vomit that’s sure to follow. but even as each word shocks you, you know they ring true. “i hate you for it. i hate you for leading me on for years when i’ve loved you since we were kids! you’re terrible, remus. i hate you.”
he’s absolutely stunned trying to process your words, and you use the momentary distraction to race back into the school, gunning for your dorm and locking it once you’re inside. the image of celeste and remus plays through your mind all night, so much that you can barely even think about how you confessed your love to him.
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tags @lydiasfalling @dancingwithourhandsuntied
#nora's scribbles ᝰ.ᐟ#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus x reader#remus lupin angst#marauders#the marauders#x reader#harry potter#hp#marauders x reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin fic#laufeysvalentine#I LOVE U!
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A New Heartbeat

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader
Summary: Joel Miller never thought he'd get another chance at building a family—especially not at his age, especially not after everything.
Tags: Fluff, pregnancy fic, domestic fluff, birthday surprise, emotional feels, warm, age gap (reader is early 30s, Joel is 58-59), set between season 1 and 2, jackson!Joel Miller, soft joel miller. No physical description of reader. No use of Y/N.
A/N: Thank you @dedicatedfangirl2001 for inspiring me! So this is technically a continuation of this fic, but it can also be read as a stand alone. If you have any requests, suggestions, or thoughts, feel free to send me a message. Reblogs are appreciated. Please do not steal or cross-post it on another platform without asking. Thank you.
Word Count: 3.3k
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You didn’t think much of it at first.
Between the early mornings at the stables and the evenings spent passed out on the couch beside Joel, days had started to blur into each other. Your body always felt tired this time of year—mud season clinging to your boots, cold air snapping at your fingertips even under gloves. You’d chalked the nausea up to bad stew from the dining hall. But when your headache lingered past the usual, when the scent of hay and leather turned sour in your nose, it hit you.
You hadn’t had your period.
You stood in the feed room, half-empty bucket of oats dangling from your hand, the realization sitting heavy in your stomach. The math rolled around in your head, tumbling over itself. It had been… what? Over a month? Maybe more. You weren’t exactly counting days when every morning looked the same—Joel sipping black coffee, Ellie stealing bits of toast, and you rubbing sleep out of your eyes as you layered up for work.
But now, standing there, the silence of the stable around you, something clicked. You set the bucket down on the ground a little too quickly, pressing your palm to your stomach. No pain. No bloat. Just… a quiet sort of stillness.
The horses shuffled in their stalls. One of the younger colts let out a soft snort. You leaned your back against the wall, heart hammering in your chest.
You weren’t sure. But something deep in your bones told you—you already knew.
You didn’t tell anyone where you were going that morning.
Said you had errands to run—needed new gloves, maybe stop by the library. Joel didn’t press. He’d kissed your cheek, grumbled something about checking in with Tommy about a busted water heater, and told you he’d see you for dinner.
You walked to the clinic with your hands jammed deep into your jacket pockets. The cold bit at your cheeks, and every step felt heavier than the last. Not from dread exactly, but from the weight of maybe.
The clinic wasn’t much to look at. Two rooms, patched-together equipment, and a nurse named Carla who used to be a vet before the world ended. She was kind, though, and knew how to keep her mouth shut. You told her you wanted to rule something out. She just nodded, handed you a cup, and pointed toward the bathroom.
You stared at the strip of plastic on the counter like it held your whole future.
Five minutes. That’s all it took.
Carla didn’t say anything right away. She just looked down at the test in her hand, then back up at you, her expression soft.
“Well,” she said, “you’re pregnant.”
The room didn’t spin. It didn’t crash down on you, either. Instead, everything went still—like the moment before a horse takes off into a gallop. Heart pounding, lungs full of something sharp and sweet.
You were going to have a baby.
Joel’s baby.
Carla asked if you were okay. You nodded before you really even felt it, voice rough when you said, “Yeah. Yeah, I think I am.”
The walk back home was slower. Like you were afraid to jostle the news loose, or maybe afraid it still wasn’t real. But your hand drifted down to your stomach more than once, resting there in quiet awe.
Now, all that was left was telling him.
And with his birthday just a few days away, you couldn’t help but wonder how in the world you were going to tell him.
Joel didn’t like birthdays.
He never made a big deal out of them before the world ended, and now… well, now they just felt like reminders. Reminders of what he’d lost. Of how much older he was getting. Of how goddamn long he’d been carrying around all this weight.
He’d never forget waking up on that birthday—the one that split his life into a before and after. Many years later, the world had changed, but the ache hadn’t. Not really.
Still, this morning started like any other. The early light crept in through the crack in the curtains, soft and gray-blue. Beside him, you were curled under the blanket, one arm slung across his stomach, your face tucked against his shoulder. Warm. Familiar. Home.
He didn’t move at first. Just lay there, eyes on the ceiling, listening to the quiet. The muffled sound of someone in the street. A rooster off in the distance. You breathing slow and steady beside him.
You made it better—this day, this life. You had a way of pulling him back from the edge without even trying. He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve that, to deserve you, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to take it for granted.
Your fingers twitched slightly against his chest. You were starting to stir.
He turned his head just enough to watch you, that soft haze of sleep still in your features. He found himself smiling, just a little. The lines in his face stayed, though. The ones that came from time and sorrow and holding it all in for too long.
You blinked up at him.
“Mornin’,” he murmured, voice low and rough.
“Happy birthday,” you whispered back, eyes warm and knowing.
He groaned, turning his face away slightly. “Don’t remind me.”
You gave a quiet laugh, but didn’t tease him for it. You never did. You just leaned up to press a kiss to his jaw, fingers brushing along his ribs, gentle and grounding.
“I’m makin’ you pancakes,” you added softly. “Don’t fight me on it.”
He huffed, but it wasn’t real. “‘Course you are.”
He didn’t need gifts. Didn’t want anyone making a fuss. But if the day started like this—your warmth, your voice, your lips on his skin—then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
Even if he still carried the ghosts, this morning... it felt different. Like maybe something was waiting on the horizon, and he wasn’t sure what—but he trusted you’d tell him when the time was right.
You flipped the last pancake onto the plate, steam rising as you added a handful of thawed berries—ones you’d carefully saved from the last supply run. They weren’t exactly fresh, but they were sweet enough, and they made the stack look a little more festive.
Birthday pancakes.
Joel would pretend to grumble about it, but you knew he appreciated it. The small gestures. The quiet kind of love. You’d learned early on not to make a big deal of his birthday. Not out loud, anyway. But that didn’t mean you’d let it pass by like any other morning.
“Damn, something smells good,” Ellie mumbled as she shuffled into the kitchen, hair sticking up in five different directions, sleeves too long for her arms. She plopped down at the table, blinking slowly. “Is it somebody’s birthday or somethin’?”
You smirked as you slid a plate in front of her. “Could be.”
Joel followed behind her a second later, moving slower, like his body hadn’t quite forgiven him for being nearly sixty.
He rubbed at the back of his neck as he sat down across from her, eyes drifting to the plate you set in front of him.
Pancakes. Berries. A little dab of honey. No candles, no singing—just the kind of breakfast you didn’t make unless the day meant something.
He glanced at you, brow raised.
“You didn’t have to do all this,” he said.
“I wanted to,” you replied, brushing your hand over his shoulder as you passed. “Don’t argue with me on your birthday, Miller.”
Ellie shoveled a bite into her mouth. “Holy shit,” she mumbled. “Are these the blueberries?”
Joel chuckled under his breath, fork already in hand. His eyes lingered on you for a moment longer before he took his first bite. You saw the tension ease in his shoulders, just a little. Maybe the day still carried shadows for him, but right now? With a warm plate in front of him and people who loved him on either side?
He was okay.
You sat down beside him, resting your hand on your lap, feeling the thrum of nerves underneath your skin.
A knock on the door broke through the calm.
Joel looked up, chewing his last bite with a quiet grunt. You stood up to answer it, already guessing who it was. Sure enough, when you opened the door, Tommy stood there with a crooked grin and two hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets.
“Mornin’, birthday boy,” he called past you, stepping inside without waiting for an invite. “You look real good for a hundred.”
Joel let out a groan, dragging a hand over his face. “You had to come by, didn’t you?”
“You think I’m missin’ the one day a year I get to remind you I’m younger and prettier?” Tommy grinned, clapping his brother on the back as he passed by.
“Debatable,” Ellie chimed in, still chewing. “And you missed the berries.”
Tommy’s eyes lit up. “Berries?”
“Yup,” you said with an apologetic shrug, walking back to the stove. “Saved 'em for Joel. There’s still pancakes, though.”
Tommy sniffed the air like a bloodhound. “You spoil this man.”
“Someone has to,” you quipped, already grabbing another plate.
You served him a healthy stack—no berries this time, just a bit of honey and some leftover butter—and slid into your seat again. Joel was watching you, his eyes soft beneath the usual weight. He hadn’t said much, but you could feel it in the way his hand drifted to your knee under the table. Just a gentle touch. A quiet thanks.
Tommy shoveled in a bite and made a loud, satisfied sound. “Hot damn. You better marry her before someone else do.”
Joel raised an eyebrow. “You wanna lose a tooth today?”
You laughed, elbow resting on the table, chin in your hand. The teasing, the warmth, the way Ellie rolled her eyes and asked if she could have seconds—it all made the house feel full in a way you never took for granted.
Still, under it all, the secret sat in your chest like a fluttering heartbeat.
You’d give it a moment. Let them finish breakfast. Let Joel have this calm before you turned his world upside down.
In a good way, you hoped.
The house felt quieter once the door shut behind Ellie and Tommy. The laughter lingered in the walls for a moment, then faded, replaced by the gentle creak of wood and the soft clink of dishes as you rinsed them off.
Joel was still finishing the last of his coffee, sitting back in his chair, watching you. He looked more relaxed now—shoulders looser, lines around his mouth softened. Birthdays were hard for him, but this one… it hadn’t been bad.
You dried your hands on a dish towel, heart thudding steady but loud. You knew you couldn’t wait any longer.
“Hey,” you said softly, stepping toward him. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”
His brow knit slightly, but he nodded, setting the mug down. “Somethin’ wrong?”
“No,” you breathed, sitting down across from him, your hands resting in your lap. “Not wrong. Just… big.”
Joel leaned forward, elbows on the table. You reached for his hand without thinking, grounding yourself in the warmth of his calloused fingers.
“I didn’t know how to bring this up earlier. Didn’t wanna spring it on you in front of everyone,” you started, voice quiet. “But I’ve been feelin’… off. The past few weeks.”
His expression shifted—concern flickering behind his eyes, guarded like always. “You sick?”
You shook your head, a nervous smile tugging at your lips. “No. I went to the clinic yesterday. Ran a test.” You swallowed, heart climbing to your throat. “Joel… I’m pregnant.”
The words hung in the air like dust caught in sunlight.
Joel blinked. Once. Twice. He didn’t say anything—just stared at you, eyes wide, unreadable. Then slowly, without a word, he stood up from the table and took a step back, hand resting on the edge of the counter like he needed something to hold onto.
“You’re… you’re sure sure?” he asked, voice hoarse. “I mean—are they sure?”
You gave a soft laugh, heart aching with affection. “Yeah. They’re sure. I’m late, the test was positive, and… I feel it. I know it.”
Joel let out a breath like he’d been holding it for years. His shoulders dropped as he sat back down, rubbing a hand over his jaw.
“I just—I didn’t think—I mean, hell, at my age?” he muttered, almost to himself, eyes wide and almost dazed. “I didn’t think that was even possible anymore.”
You reached for his hand again, thumb brushing the top of his knuckles. “Well… apparently it is.”
He looked at you then—really looked at you. And something shifted in his face. Like the ground underneath him had tilted, but he was choosing to stay standing anyway.
“You’re… you’re okay with this?” he asked quietly.
You nodded. “I wouldn’t have told you today if I wasn’t. I know it’s gonna be a lot, but… yeah. I’m okay with it. More than okay.”
Joel’s eyes started to glisten, and he cleared his throat hard, blinking fast as he turned his face away for a second. When he looked back at you, his voice was thick.
“Thank you,” he said.
It broke something open in you.
“For what?” you asked, voice barely above a whisper.
“For this. For you. For givin’ me a reason to think there’s still more life out there for me than just survivin’.”
He reached out, cupped your cheek with a rough hand, his thumb brushing just under your eye.
“I didn’t think I’d get a second chance,” he murmured. “Not with someone like you. Not like this.”
You leaned into his palm, smiling through the tears that started to slip down your cheeks.
“Well… surprise,” you whispered.
Joel gave a breath of a laugh, then leaned in and kissed you—slow, steady, reverent. The kind of kiss that said everything his words couldn’t. The kind of kiss that promised he would be here for all of it.
For you.
For the baby.
For the life you were building together, one quiet moment at a time.
Sunday dinner was loud in the best way.
Tommy and Joel had spent the afternoon repairing one of the water lines near the edge of town, and both were still rubbing their lower backs like old men. Maria was bouncing little Benji on her knee, spoon-feeding him mashed carrots between exaggerated airplane noises, while Ellie recounted an incident involving a runaway chicken and a pitchfork.
You’d always loved these nights—long tables, shared food, laughter that made the walls feel smaller in the best way. But tonight, your hands kept drifting to your lap, nerves curling in your stomach even though you’d done this a dozen times in your head.
Joel’s knee brushed yours beneath the table.
He glanced at you, gave a small nod.
It was time.
You reached for your glass and gently tapped your spoon against it. “Uh… can I say something real quick?”
The table quieted. Benji let out a soft squeak and tried to grab a carrot off Maria’s plate.
Joel cleared his throat. “We’ve got some news.”
Maria looked up first, brows raised. Ellie paused mid-chew.
You smiled nervously, heart thumping. “I’m pregnant.”
For a moment, no one said a word. Then—
“What?” Ellie blurted, voice cracking halfway through the word.
Joel chuckled low under his breath, his hand slipping onto your thigh, grounding. Ellie set her fork down slowly, blinking like she hadn’t quite heard you right.
“You mean like… an actual baby?” she asked, eyes wide. “Your baby?”
You nodded, leaning closer to Joel's side. “Yeah. Our baby.”
Ellie opened her mouth, closed it, then reached for her water like her brain needed a reboot. “Holy shit.”
“Language,” Joel murmured.
“I’m gonna be a big sister?” she asked softly, blinking hard. And then her face cracked into a smile—wide and kind of watery. “I’m gonna be a big sister.”
Tommy leaned back in his chair and let out a low whistle, grinning ear to ear. “Joel, buddy. You still got swimmers at your age?”
Joel groaned loudly. “Tommy, I swear—”
“I mean, damn! You’re nearly sixty and still makin’ babies? What’s in the water over at your place?”
You laughed, covering your mouth with your hand. Joel muttered something under his breath, but he was smiling, too, shaking his head as Tommy clapped him on the back.
Maria just laughed and leaned her cheek against Benji’s soft hair. “Honestly, I had a feeling.”
Joel looked at her sideways. “You did?”
“You turned down a glass of wine at dinner last week,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “You. You never turn down wine.”
You shrugged with a grin. “Was trying to be subtle.”
“Well, I’m glad you told us now,” she said, smiling warmly. “Benji’s gonna need a little buddy to boss around.”
Benji cooed like he somehow approved.
Then Maria stood and crossed the space to pull you into a hug, tight and full of warmth. Ellie joined a second later, throwing her arms around both of you, mumbling something like “I’m not crying” even though she very much was.
Tommy wrapped an arm around Joel with a playful shake and muttered, “Old man,” while Joel just rolled his eyes and let it happen.
In the middle of it all—arms tangled, laughter echoing, and that familiar scent of home-cooked food still hanging in the air—you felt it.
Family.
Not perfect. Not always easy. But real. Rooted. Growing.
And you were bringing another piece into it.
Dinner had long passed. The dishes were done, the laughter faded into memory, and Ellie had gone back to her room with a final hug that lingered just a little longer than usual.
Now, the two of you were tucked beneath the soft quilt, the chill of Jackson’s night air kept at bay by Joel’s familiar warmth beside you. The house creaked gently, like it was settling in for the night too.
You lay on your side, facing him, his arm already around you. The bedside lamp was off, but the moonlight spilling through the window was enough to catch the faint lines on his face—the quiet, thoughtful ones that only ever appeared when he let his guard down.
He hadn’t said much since the others left. Not out of hesitation, but the way he always got when something mattered so much it felt sacred.
His fingers brushed your stomach lightly under your shirt. Slow. Careful.
There wasn’t much of a bump yet—just the slightest swell, barely there—but his touch was reverent, like he was afraid to miss even a second of it.
“That’s really ours in there,” he said quietly, more to himself than to you. “Whole little person. Just... growin’.”
Your hand covered his. “Yeah. They’re in there.”
He shifted closer, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, then your cheek, then just above your temple.
“I keep thinkin’ I’ll wake up,” he murmured. “That this is some dream I’m gonna lose. But then I touch you, and it’s real.”
You turned your face to kiss the underside of his jaw, voice soft. “It’s real, Joel. You’re here. I’m here. We’re here.”
He nodded, throat tight. His palm stayed resting on your belly, like it anchored him.
“I ever tell you how much I love you?” he asked, voice thick with quiet emotion.
You smiled. “You show me every day.”
“Gonna say it anyway,” he whispered, kissing you again. “I love you, darlin’. More than I got words for.”
The two of you fell asleep like that—his hand over the life you were building together, your fingers laced with his, hearts beating steady in the dark.
And for the first time in a long, long while, Joel Miller didn’t feel haunted by his past.
He felt ready for the future.
#kar's fics ☆#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller fluff#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller#the last of us#tlou#joel tlou#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal
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Bob reynolds x f!reader
FATAL ACCIDENT

Summary: When Bob accidentally caught you in a deeply inappropriate moment, he decided to make it up to you. He brought muffins and suggested a movie night. Neither of you expected what would happen next… or how everything would change between you.
Warnings: 18+ MDNI, strong language, unprotected sex (piv), dry humping, multiple orgasms, stimulating through clothes, cum in pants, soft sex, creampie, sleeping inside of each other, sweet ending, sub!Bob, use of Y/N
A/n: Hi there! I hope you'll like this story/smut! I really tried my best so…anyways, if you have any ideas, suggestions, or anything else, feel free to text me. Also, I apologize for any grammar mistakes or phrases that might not make sense—English isn’t my first language :3 But I hope you enjoy the story! <3
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It was late, well past midnight, when Bob found himself standing outside your door. The rest of the tower had gone quiet hours ago, wrapped in the peaceful hush that only came once the chaos of the day had settled. Lights were dimmed, hallways empty, and the low hum of distant generators was the only thing keeping him company. But he knew you. You were a night owl, always the last one to go to sleep. That’s what brought him here in the first place.
He told himself it was just a small question about the mission briefing tomorrow. Something minor. Something he could’ve asked anyone else, sure—but not at this hour. And not with the way his brain kept coming back to you, no matter how many reasons he tried to invent.
So, he knocked. A quick, rhythmic tap. Nothing.
He paused, waiting for your voice, footsteps, any movement. Silence. He knocked again—same rhythm, a little firmer this time. Still, nothing.
He called out your name gently, voice soft but just loud enough to carry through the door. Not a yell, but enough that you would’ve heard it if you were in there.
Still no answer.
That ache in his chest started to grow—tight, warm, and completely irrational. He knew you were probably just asleep, headphones in maybe, passed out after a long day. Nothing bad had happened. He told himself that twice, then again, like repetition would make it true.
But it didn’t ease the tension building behind his ribs. It didn’t stop the way his fingers curled against his palm or the faint pull in his stomach as the silence stretched on. And still—no sound from the other side of the door.
Bob’s worry was growing by the second. He knew that you were probably fine. But still, that uncomfortable knot in his chest didn’t go away. He lingered by the door, biting the inside of his cheek before clearing his throat softly.
“Can I come in?” he asked, still hopeful for a response.
Nothing.
He hesitated only a second longer before his hand reached for the doorknob. He turned it slowly, carefully, as though the metal itself might protest. The door creaked slightly as he pushed it open, just a crack at first.
He peeked inside, half-expecting to catch you mid-change or in a situation where he absolutely should not be present. But the room was empty.
No one in sight.
He stepped inside, carefully closing the door behind him with a soft click. The room smelled faintly like your perfume and something warm, like vanilla and fabric softener. Familiar and comforting.
But then he heard it. The sound of running water. A soft, steady stream. His eyes darted toward the bathroom door. It was slightly ajar, just enough for steam to be drifting out and curling into the air.
You were in the shower.
Relief rushed through him like a wave. You were safe. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, and smiled to himself, already turning to quietly slip back out of the room. He could talk to you tomorrow. No big deal.
“Y/N?” Yelena’s voice rang out from down the hall.
Bob froze. Panic hit him like a truck. The sound of footsteps rushed toward the door. She was heading this way. Fast.
“Oh no no no,” Bob whispered under his breath, looking around in a frantic circle. His brain went blank. If Yelena saw him in your room, especially this late, especially without you even in the room, well, that would definitely send a message. One he wasn’t ready to explain.
His eyes darted to your closet. No good. Not enough room. Under the bed? He’d never fit. His thoughts were racing. The doorknob outside jiggled slightly as Yelena neared—
And in a moment of sheer panic, Bob made the only decision he could. He turned and slipped into your bathroom. The steam hit him like a wall and before his brain could yell STOP, he realized where he was. Inyour bathroom while you were still in the shower.
Bob’s hands were up like he was surrendering to an armed SWAT team, his fingers trembling as sheer panic rushed through his entire body. His chest was tight, breathing shallow, and every cell in his brain was screaming, Why are you here? Why the hell did you think this would be a good idea?
He stood frozen, wide-eyed and pale, as the sound of the shower continued, taunting him. There was nowhere to hide. Nowhere to run. He was in the bathroom. With you. While you were still in the damn shower.
And before he could even string together a plan, or even a thought, he heard her again.
“Y/N!” Yelena’s voice echoed louder now, clearly already inside your bedroom.
Bob’s soul practically left his body. From inside the shower, your annoyed voice finally rang out over the sound of the water.
“I’m coming!” you shouted, clearly frustrated.
Then the stream shut off. Bob’s heart jumped into his throat. His tongue felt dry as sand. His skin was burning and cold at the same time. Oh no. Oh no. Oh God.
He stared helplessly at the fogged-up glass of the shower door, and when you slid it open— he saw you.
Completely naked.
Water still clung to your skin in droplets, sliding down the curve of your neck, your collarbones, gliding along your thighs like liquid silk. You hadn’t seen him yet, but he was already about to combust from embarrassment and sheer secondhand shame.
And then your eyes landed on him.
“WHAT THE FUCK?!” you screamed, your voice pure panic and fury as you instinctively reached for a towel and yanked it around your dripping frame.
“I—I’m sorry—I didn’t—” Bob choked out, immediately spinning around to face the wall, his entire face a violent shade of red. His hands went back up, this time like he was trying to blot himself out of existence.
But fate wasn’t done dragging him through hell just yet. Because just then, Yelena pushed the bathroom door open. And paused.
“Woah. What the fuck is happening here?” she asked in her signature deadpan tone, heavy Russian accent slicing through the awkwardness like a hot knife through shame.
You, still clutching your towel and dripping on the floor, looked absolutely stunned. “I have no idea what he’s doing in here!” you snapped, eyes wide with a cocktail of betrayal and pure what-the-actual-hell.
Bob didn’t speak. Couldn’t. He was practically vibrating with anxiety, lips pressed into a thin, miserable line. His whole body was trembling like a leaf caught in a storm.
He was so unbelievably screwed.
It was the next afternoon when you heard a soft knock on your door. You didn’t even need to ask who it was. You knew instantly.
“Come in,” you called calmly, already anticipating the awkwardness that was about to step through the door.
Bob peeked his head in first, like he was making sure it was safe before fully entering. Then, with a hesitant “Hey…” he stepped inside and quietly shut the door behind him.
He looked… guilty. Shy.
His cheeks were flushed pink, his posture small and careful, and his legs? Slightly shaking. He was holding a plate of something in his hands—and the second he came closer, the sweet scent of freshly baked muffins filled the room like a warm, edible apology.
You were sitting on your bed, a book in your lap, one brow raised as you watched him silently. You weren’t mad anymore—but you were curious. And you were definitely going to make him squirm a little first.
For a moment, the room was wrapped in silence. Bob shifted awkwardly, his weight bouncing between his feet, clearly searching for the right words.
“I, uh…” he started, eyes flicking to yours then immediately down again. “I wanted to apologize… for yesterday. I—I didn’t mean for any of that to happen and… as an apology, I… got you these.”
He stepped forward, extending the plate like a peace offering, holding it out to you with a hopeful look in his eyes.
The muffins smelled amazing—still warm, soft in the center with little chunks of what looked like chocolate and banana. You looked up at him and took a deep breath.
He looked so genuinely remorseful. That kicked-puppy look on his face nearly made your heart melt. You knew he didn’t mean to barge in on you, and you definitely knew he wasn’t some creep.
Still. You had one burning question.
“Why were you even in there?” you asked gently, but there was still a bit of edge in your tone. You needed to hear it straight from him.
Bob’s arms retreated slightly as he clutched the plate back toward his chest, like the question caught him off-guard.
“I—I just wanted to ask if you were coming with us to the England mission,” he said honestly, blinking fast. “That’s all. I swear.”
Ah. That explained it. That put the final puzzle piece into place.
You nodded slowly, letting out a small breath and placing your book aside. You scooted forward, settling on the edge of your bed, resting your hands down on the mattress beside you.
Your expression shifted, now more playful than stern.
“So…” you said, tilting your head just slightly. “How much did you see?”
Bob blinked, clearly caught off guard by your question.
His eyes widened just a bit, and his shoulders tensed.
“Uh—I didn’t see anything,” he said too quickly. Way too quickly. “Like… nothing at all. Swear.”
You raised a brow. Just stared at him. That stare that you knew always made people squirm. Bob shifted awkwardly, the plate of muffins now looking like the only thing anchoring him to the ground.
You didn’t say anything. You just waited and it worked. Eventually, he cracked. His shoulders slumped as he sighed, gaze flickering down to the floor like it was the only thing willing to forgive him.
“Okay… I—I saw a little. But I barely remember, I swear. It was just a second.”
His voice was soft, guilty. And you couldn’t help but laugh. You shook your head with a smile and stood up from the bed.
“It’s fine, Bob,” you said with a gentle wave of your hand. “I’m over it.”
You walked up to him, close enough to smell the sugar and chocolate clinging to the muffins.
“You made these?” you asked, nodding toward the plate.
He nodded sheepishly. You narrowed your eyes, suspicious.
“You don’t bake.”
“I don’t,” he admitted with a shy chuckle. “But… I looked up your favorite recipe. I figured if I’m gonna apologize, I should at least do it right.”
His voice was so genuine, and there was something so… stupidly sweet about the way he stood there, just hoping they were edible.
You smiled again, softer this time, and reached out to pick up one of the muffins. You took a bite. It was warm, fluffy, and the flavor hit perfectly. Just the right balance of chocolate and banana.
Honestly? Kind of impressive.
“They’re actually really good,” you said, eyebrows raised in surprise. “Thanks.”
There was a moment. A quiet beat between you where something sparked. You looked at him. Really looked at him.
“Try one,” you offered, nudging the plate toward him.
“Oh, no, I—” Bob took a tiny step back. “They’re for you.”
Before he could make another excuse, you rolled your eyes, grabbed the plate from his hands and picked up another muffin.
“You’re eating it,” you said, no room for negotiation.
He opened his mouth to protest, but you were already pushing the muffin into it.
Literally.
He choked out a laugh as you shoved it into his face. He bit down instinctively, chewing with his cheeks puffed out like a squirrel, crumbs already on his lips. You giggled, watching him use his fingers to wipe his mouth, and that’s when something shifted.
Suddenly, time slowed. The laughter died down, but that flutter in your stomach didn’t. A pulse between your legs sparked to life, and you became acutely aware of the heat building inside you.
You watched the way Bob chewed, the way his jaw moved, the way his tongue darted out to catch a crumb near the corner of his mouth.
And just like that… you were wet. Soaking.
And all you could think about was how pretty he looked. How soft and gentle.
Of course, Bob had always been cute to you. From the very first time you saw him, with that messy hair and his little giggle that felt too soft for someone who flew jets and handled missions like a pro.
He was sweet. But never hot. Not in a “I want to drag you into bed and ruin you” kind of way. But now? Something had shifted.
You didn’t know if it was the ovulation hormones messing with your brain chemistry, or the fact that he saw you naked in the shower, or maybe it was his maddeningly addictive cologne, but something clicked.
And suddenly… he was sexy. Like, you-couldn’t-stop-thinking-about-his-mouth sexy.
You bit your lip and watched as Bob finished chewing the piece of muffin you’d shoved into his mouth. His lips moved slowly, tongue catching a few crumbs.
He swallowed, glanced at you and said, “It’s not that bad, actually.”
His voice pulled you out of your internal spiral. You nodded a little too quickly, letting out a soft hum in agreement, a smile playing at your lips. He smiled back, a little shy, a little unsure.
“Well…” he started, rubbing the back of his neck. “I should probably let you get back to your book.”
You tilted your head. “You’re not bothering me.”
But he still insisted. “Yeah, but… I mean—you probably wanna, y’know, process everything. I just—yeah.”
He moved toward the door, slowly, awkwardly, and you returned to your bed, settling into the pillows with your book in one hand and another muffin in the other, though your eyes weren’t exactly on the page.
Bob was halfway out the door when he paused and turned back.
“Oh! Uh—one more thing,” he said, his voice just a bit higher than usual. “Bucky finally helped me set up that TV in my room, so… I was thinking maybe, tonight, if you’re not busy, we could watch a movie?”
You raised an eyebrow, amused. “You want me to be your test subject?”
He shrugged, smiling nervously. “I just don’t wanna sit there and watch it alone like a loser.”
You laughed softly. “Sure, Bob. I’m in.”
His smile widened, that same boyish grin that somehow made your stomach twist now in a very different way.
“Cool. Uh—great. I’ll… come get you later then?”
You nodded, trying not to look too eager. “Sounds good.”
He gave you one last smile before he disappeared behind the door, and the second he was gone your book was forgotten. Your thighs pressed together, the ghost of that look he gave you still lingering.
The lights were dimmed in Bob’s room, the only real glow coming from the soft flicker of the TV screen. You were both sitting on his bed, technically his bed, but it didn’t really feel like that now. Not with the way you were both perched on the edge of it, backs resting lightly against the wall, a shared blanket covering your legs.
You sat just far enough apart for it to be considered “friendly.” A safe distance. But god, you wanted to move closer.
The movie playing was some classic, older film, one of those feel-good, slightly cheesy ones with warm lighting and 90s nostalgia oozing out of every frame. It was so Bob. Of course he’d like something like this. Comforting, predictable and sweet. Just like him.
From time to time, your eyes would drift toward him. He was so focused on the screen, eyebrows twitching ever so slightly during tense scenes, mouth curled just faintly at the corners when something funny happened.
And maybe that was the problem. Because his pure, oblivious cuteness was driving you insane.
Your eyes trailed down to his hands, resting in his lap. To the slow, steady rise and fall of his chest. To the way his Adam’s apple bobbed whenever he swallowed. You could practically hear the blood rushing in your ears.
You licked your lips, trying to focus on the movie, but the images blurred. You weren’t even listening anymore.
Why the hell was this happening to you? Why are you suddenly feeling like this? Was it the way his thigh was just barely brushing against yours under the blanket? Or maybe it was that familiar soft scent of his cologne, sweet and woodsy and him?
Whatever it was, it wasn’t fair. Not when he looked that innocent, completely unaware of the storm building inside you.
You’d been pretending to watch the movie for the last ten minutes, but let’s be honest—you hadn’t registered a single scene. Your mind was elsewhere. On him. The steady warmth beside you, the way his scent filled your lungs, the shape of his jaw in the soft glow of the screen.
And then… you cracked. You turned your head slightly, looking at him from under your lashes, your voice soft—almost too soft.
“Hey… um, I’m kinda cold. Mind if I scoot closer?”
It wasn’t even cold.
Bob’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second, like you’d just asked him to recite Shakespeare in Russian. He blinked, then gave the tiniest nod.
“Y-Yeah. Sure. Of course.”
You moved closer, slow and deliberate. Your shoulder brushed his. He didn’t flinch—didn’t pull away. Good. But his whole body tensed like a drawn bow.
And then came the real move, you gently laid your head on his shoulder.
Bob didn’t breathe. Like literally, he just froze. His fists clenched in his lap, not from discomfort—but from sheer sensory overload.
He could feel you. All of you. Your warmth sinking into his hoodie, your hair brushing his jaw, your scent melting into the air around him. His brain short-circuited.
This wasn’t a dream, right? You weren’t just… doing this?
He swallowed hard, throat dry, trying not to move or ruin the moment. Your thighs were just barely touching under the blanket. That soft friction, the tension—goddamn.
You noticed everything. The way his jaw clenched. The shudder that ran down his spine. The way his breath stuttered ever so slightly.
Your lips curled into a small smile. He was nervous—but not in a bad way. Not because he was uncomfortable. He was nervous because it mattered to him. And maybe that made it all the more intoxicating.
The sexual tension was practically radiating off his skin—buzzing in the tiny space between your bodies, where your arms nearly touched.
You shifted just a little closer. So close now that you could hear his heartbeat pounding like a drum.
The movie was still playing, but your focus had drifted miles away. Not on the screen. Not on the plot. But on Bob.
The air felt thicker somehow, heavier with something unspoken. Every small glance at him only made it worse. That gentle look on his face, the way his eyelashes brushed his cheeks when he blinked, his throat bobbing every time he swallowed—everything was unbearable in the best kind of way. You had this ache, low and steady, impossible to ignore.
So you moved.
Under the blanket, slow and casual, your hand found his thigh. Just a gentle rest, as if you needed a place to land. Bob tensed immediately, his whole body reacting like a live wire being sparked. His breath hitched, but he didn’t stop you. Not even a flinch. He stayed still, as though frozen in place, except for the way his chest was rising just a bit too fast to be calm.
Your thumb began to brush soft circles along the fabric of his sweatpants. Just small, teasing motions, and yet you could feel how it made him react—his thigh twitching slightly beneath your touch, his jaw clenched tight, lips slightly parted as though he didn’t trust himself to breathe through his nose anymore.
You turned your head and whispered, slow and velvety, “By the way… those muffins? They were amazing.”
Bob blinked, once, twice, and barely managed a grunt of a response, like speaking full words would crack him wide open. He gave a slight nod, clearly trying to keep his composure, but failing beautifully.
You smiled, wickedly pleased, and lifted your head from his shoulder so you could really look at him. His eyes locked on yours immediately, wide and uncertain—but undeniably filled with heat. And hope.
“Did you…” you started, voice dipped low like velvet on skin, “like what you saw yesterday?”
He froze.
His lips parted, but no sound came out. His hands, still clenched in his lap, curled even tighter. It was obvious he was trying to say something, trying to figure out if this was real or a fever dream he was about to wake from. The red on his cheeks deepened, and his eyes darted from your face to your lips and back again.
“I—uh—I didn’t mean to—I mean—I didn’t really see—”
You leaned in closer, your hand still warm and steady on his thigh.
“It’s okay,” you whispered. “I don’t mind.”
And then you moved your hand. Just a little higher, right where his twitching dick was.
Bob let out a shaky breath—one of those breaths that almost sounded like a prayer, or a curse, or both. He looked like a man on the edge, hanging by a thread spun from every suppressed feeling he’d ever had for you. The tension in his body, the nervous flicker in his eyes, the way his lips parted and didn’t quite close again—all of it screamed one thing:
He wanted you. Badly. And you knew. You leaned in, lips inches from his ear, and asked one last question, barely more than a breath:
“Do you want me to stop?”
Your fingers moved slowly, so slowly it almost felt like an accident. A barely-there stroke through the soft fabric of his sweats. He twitched. You felt it. And still, he didn’t move. He just stayed still, frozen, his breath hitching in his throat and he couldn't even answer you.
Bob’s eyes fluttered shut, lashes trembling. His lips parted slightly, a quiet sound slipping from his mouth—a mix between a gasp and a helpless whimper.
You turned your head just enough to see his face. His brows were drawn together, his jaw tight, and he looked so unbelievably vulnerable. Lost. Struggling. But not stopping you.
“You like it?” you whispered, voice low and warm.
He nodded, quickly, too quickly, but didn’t speak. You kept going, slowly, tenderly, through the fabric, feeling the way his whole body reacted to your touch. He was holding onto the edge of the blanket with white knuckles, his other hand hovering, as if unsure where to go or what to do.
“And did you like yesterday?” you asked softly, meaning the shower incident. You leaned a little closer, lips brushing his ear.
Bob choked on a breath, and his head tilted back slightly. “I-I didn’t… I wasn’t trying to— I mean—” He couldn’t even finish the sentence. His voice cracked.
You smiled.
“I think you did,” you murmured.
And then, just as his breath caught and his hips gave the tiniest, helpless twitch beneath the blanket, you felt it. His whole body tensing, stuttering, a soft, broken noise escaping his throat as he came apart completely under your hand.
Bob froze, then practically curled into himself. Face flushed deep red, breathing erratic, shame washing over him like a wave.
“I—I’m so sorry,” he whispered. His voice was small, strained, like he wanted to disappear.
“No I'm sorry I didn't mean to,” you felt guilty, more than Bob did. You just wanted to tease him a bit, just a few touches. Who knew Bob was that sensitive, but in the end you didn't mind.
“I uh…it's been a while since I've been with someone…” Bob tried to explain himself, even tho he didn't need to. You understand. You smiled at him, sighing.
“It's okay…we can go slow,” your sweet tone calmed Bob down, his chest wasn't raising that fast, and his eyes softened.
The eye contact was so loud, but at the same time so quiet. Soft and gentle, barely brushing your lips against his, just testing the waters, but when you kissed him again, he melted. Your lips were making wet sounds, as you explored your mouths, touching your tongues and mixing your salivas.
After a long make out session, you slowly swung one leg over his lap, your knees bracketing his thighs, the quiet rustle of your clothes and the soft shift of the bed were the only sounds for a moment.
Settling on top of him carefully, you totally made him forget everything else but the feeling of you, the heat between you, the way your mouths moved together like they were made for this.
His hands finally moved to your hips, trembling just slightly, like he needed the confirmation that this was real.
The pressure of you settling onto him was electric. Your bodies fit together like matching puzzle pieces, your chest pressed gently to his, and you could feel the way his breath stuttered beneath you. Your forehead met his for a moment, just a shared breath, your fingers tangling in his tousled hair.
Then, really gently, you began to move. Not urgently, not to finish something, but to explore. The softest grind of your hips into his, dragging fabric against fabric, building friction that made his lips part in a quiet, broken gasp. His eyes fluttered closed, lashes kissing his cheeks, and his hands clutched your sides like he needed grounding.
You could feel it all. The growing heat pooling low in your belly, the ache between your legs intensifying with each shift, and the clear tension in Bob’s body as he whimpered helplessly. His head tipped back against the wall, exposing the long line of his neck, and his thighs tensed beneath yours.
“Is this okay?” you asked softly, your voice breathless but sure.
He nodded quickly, voice cracking. “Y-Yeah. Yeah, please.”
The desperation in his whisper made your stomach flip. You leaned forward, kissed along his jaw, his ear, and then back to his lips—this time slower, deeper, letting him feel how much you meant it. How much you wanted him.
And still, your hips moved. Measured rolls that made his breath catch and his hands dig just a little harder into your waist. The tension between you thickened like honey, sticky and warm, and everything slowed down.
He whispered your name like a prayer, and when you whispered his in return, voice thick with want and wonder, he shivered, completely undone beneath you.
Your fingers moved cautiously, tracing the hem of his shirt. You paused, eyes flicking up to meet his, giving him a silent chance to pull back. But he didn’t, he just nodded slightly, and that was all you needed.
You slid your hand under his shirt, your palm meeting the heat of his skin. He shivered immediately, muscles twitching beneath your touch, and you felt him grip your hips just a little tighter — not to stop you, but to anchor himself.
“Still okay?” you murmured against his lips.
He swallowed thickly, nodding. “More than okay.”
Piece by piece, you began to remove each other’s clothing, slowly, like unwrapping a secret. Every inch of exposed skin felt like a discovery. His shirt first, then yours. His eyes widened when he saw your chest, and for a moment, he just stared, completely speechless.
You smiled softly, brushing his cheek with your fingers. “You’ve seen me before, remember?”
“Not like this,” he whispered, voice rough and reverent.
His hands ghosted over your sides, hesitant at first, as if afraid you might vanish. But you didn’t, you leaned into his touch, and his hesitation melted into something bolder.
The more skin you revealed, the more the tension between you tightened, until it was a living, breathing thing. And when the last layer of clothing fell away, when you were both completely bare, there was nothing left to hold back.
Bob looked up at you, his hands trembling slightly where they rested on your hips. His eyes, full of something deep, searched yours, like he needed your permission again, even though you were already here, already his.
You leaned down to kiss him, slow and deep, your lips moving against his in a way that made both of you sigh quietly into the space between. You could feel the way his chest rose and fell faster, how his body tensed beneath yours as you slowly rolled your hips, letting the sensation build gently, teasingly.
He moaned — not loud, but broken, like the sound had been pulled out of him without warning. His hands flexed against your skin, not guiding you, just holding, grounding himself in the reality that this was happening. That you were here. That you wanted him.
“God… you feel so good,” he breathed, voice low and shaky.
You smiled softly against his neck, then whispered, “So do you.”
When he finally slid into you, it was careful — almost reverent. There was no rush. No hunger to claim. Just the slow, aching press of bodies coming together, like a deep breath being exhaled after being held too long.
Both of you stilled for a moment, your foreheads pressed together, hearts pounding in sync. You were full of him — not just physically, but emotionally. And in that moment, you swore you felt something inside you settle. Like a missing piece had finally found where it belonged.
You began to move together, slow and deliberate, each thrust more about connection than release. His hands roamed up your back, fingers splaying across your shoulder blades, like he couldn’t bear to let go of even an inch of you. Every time your hips met, a soft gasp or whimper left your lips, answered by the way Bob groaned low in his throat, utterly overwhelmed by how good you felt around him.
The air between you was thick with warmth, your bodies slick with sweat but never frantic. The way you kissed him between moans, the way his hands stroked your sides with a trembling tenderness, it all spoke louder than anything you could’ve said out loud.
“I’ve never—” he choked out, voice cracking, “—never felt anything like this.”
You kissed the corner of his mouth. “Me neither.”
Your pace quickened slightly, not from desperation but because your bodies knew each other now, moved together naturally. You could feel yourself getting closer, and from the way Bob’s grip on you tightened and his hips stuttered slightly, you knew he was too.
But neither of you chased it. You let it build, let it take its time, let it matter.
And when you finally came — together, as if perfectly timed — it wasn’t explosive. It was soft. Like sinking into something that had always been waiting for you. You held each other through it, every muscle trembling, your mouths finding each other again and again as if to say, I’m here. I’m still here.
Even as your breathing slowed and your bodies softened, you didn’t pull away. You just stayed there, tangled together in warmth and silence, hearts thudding gently in the same rhythm.
The world had gone quiet. Neither of you spoke for a while. There was no need to. You were both still coming down from the high, your minds slow, your bodies heavy and satisfied.
Bob’s chest rose and fell beneath you, his heartbeat echoing faintly in your ear where your head rested against him. You could feel that he was still inside you, the connection unbroken, and neither of you seemed in a hurry to move.
You shifted just slightly, a tiny sigh escaping your lips as your thighs twitched from the lingering tension. Bob pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder, the gentlest thing, like he was afraid he’d wake you even though you were still very much awake but fading.
Your voice was quiet, half-murmured against his chest. “You okay?”
He let out a breath, almost a laugh, and nodded slowly. “Yeah… I just… I don’t think I’ve ever felt this calm before.”
You smiled, your eyes closing at the sound of his voice, that low, warm rasp that made your chest flutter even now. “Me neither.”
There was a pause. Not awkward, not heavy, just peaceful. The kind of pause where two people are so content, silence feels like part of the conversation.
You felt yourself drifting, your body melting further into his. Your legs tangled with his, your arms limp, every inch of you relaxed in a way you hadn’t known you needed. You were safe. You were full — in every sense of the word. And his presence beneath you was like an anchor, a soft place to land after everything.
Your breath started to slow. Your eyelids fluttered, heavy. Sleep pulled at you like the tide.
And then, just as you began to slip under, Bob’s voice, barely there, a whisper made of breath and feeling, broke the stillness.
“I love you.”
He didn’t say it like he expected an answer. He didn’t even say it like he meant for you to hear. It was quiet. Almost scared. Like a secret that had waited far too long to be set free.
But you didn’t stir. You were already gone, lost to sleep in the safety of his arms, your face soft and peaceful against his chest.
Bob looked down at you, his expression unreadable for a moment, then full of something tender, something real. He brushed a loose strand of hair from your face, let his fingers rest against your naked back, and closed his eyes.
He will never forget this moment.
And so do you.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!
I hope you guys enjoyed it! If you have any suggestions, don’t hesitate to let me know! I’d also be super happy for any feedback; whether it’s a reblog, comment, like, or even a follow.
HAVE A LOVELY DAY,
BYEEE🫑🍋🟩
#smut#lewis pullman x you#lewis pullman x reader#lewis pullman smut#lewis pullman#bob reynolds x fem!reader#bob reynolds x y/n#bob reynolds x you#bob reynolds x reader#bob reynolds smut#bob thunderbolts#bob reynolds#marvel x reader#marvel smut
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drowning | sylus
— summary: sometimes, you don’t realize you’re drowning until it’s too late. he’s always there to throw you a life preserver when you need it. — cw: depression, anxiety, self-deprecating thoughts, mild angst, comfort, mild language, sylus is a big ol’ softie — notes: i felt heavy today. i needed to escape to my delusions to get through it. thanks for reading. — now playing: chaconne - enhypen
You, but refusing to get out of bed because the world’s too heavy a burden to bear right now.
You try to encourage yourself to at least shower—you smell like depression and yesterday’s outside clothes. Sometimes, that’s enough to lift your spirits. The motivation of a warm spray unfurling the knots in your shoulders.
You try to force yourself to get up and eat—you like to eat. Your stomach’s screaming at you. You haven’t had shit since lunch yesterday, and it feels like something’s sinking its claws into your stomach and pulling down.
But that’s not enough to get you out of bed. It’s the safest place for you right now. It doesn’t ask questions, doesn’t doubt you, doesn’t admonish you for the one wrong thing you do against twenty other rights. And you’re bundled up like a little sulking burrito in your comforter, refusing to do more than turn over and pray for sleep to tug you under.
However, sleep’s lulling embrace never comes,
Your thoughts are too much to deal with. Everything is too much. Caving in. You know it’s best for you to be around people. To reach out, but you’ll feel even shittier for dumping your problems on your friends, no matter how much they tell you they’re more than happy to listen. No matter how much you try to solve everyone else’s problems for them.
Besides, you don’t want to look weak. You hate it when people worry about you. You’re a pillar of strength for most everyone in your life. How are you going to take care of everyone else when you can’t even get yourself together?
Your phone buzzes by your pillow for the umpteenth time. You squint against its brightness, the jarring blue light the only source of color in your dark room. You have no sense of time. Don’t have to look at your screen to know he’s calling you again.
You’ve been avoiding him like a sickness since you got off work yesterday—another person you don’t want to drag into your caldron of misery.
You shove your phone under your pillow after silencing it, cocooning yourself deeper into your blanket and the turmoil of your mind. You’ll be better tomorrow, you promise. You always snap back after a day or two. Then you’re back to being the bright and obnoxious source of optimism everyone knows and loves.
You’ll talk to him later. When you’re better and not a husk of yourself, and your stomach isn’t empty while your brain is too full.
Too bad he has no intention of waiting for you to get your shit together.
Your bedroom door creaks open.
You turn away from it, curling up into a little hissing ball as the artificial light of your hallway spills in. Your thick, shag rug swallows the sounds of weighted footsteps. They near the edge of your bed, and you shut your eyes tight, receding further into your comforter.
A tongue clicks in disdain, a heavy presence looming over you. Your stomach lurches when the familiar drag of his voice permeates through the comforter.
“So this is where you’ve been hiding.” There’s a note of humor buried deep beneath the chiding, the concern.
You stiffen in response. He takes your silence as his cue to carry on with making you feel even shittier.
“Is there a reason you’ve been more difficult to get a hold of than the President?”
You flinch as if physically struck. You hate when he talks to you like that. Like there’s a lecture churning in the clouds, rolling over the horizon.
You swallow, realizing how fucking dry your throat is. Your lips quiver, struggling to form around words, also cracked and crusted with small flecks of blood. When’s the last time you had water?
“Go away,” you meekly manage.
The room’s other occupant huffs something offended. “I came all this way to check on you, and this is how you repay me? Your ability to discard me when you no longer find me useful is…assuring.”
You release a weighted sigh. Shaky. You don’t intend to be mean. You just…don’t want him to see you like this. Especially not him.
You spend some time in thick silence, listening to your heart thrum. And it is then you realize it’s raining outside. He came all this way in the rain? Well, fuck.
Your mattress dips under his weight. A gentle hand falls onto your ankle, thumb smoothing over the jut of bone there through layers of goose feather. You hear him swallow. Picture him, a hulking mass of silver and intimidation, trying to approach you without exacerbating things.
“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” he asks, cautious like you’re a cornered animal he’s afraid to scare off.
Your stomach pulls. Again, you despise sympathy. Making people fret over you, especially when it’s him. You’ve spent most of your life fending for yourself. Putting on this fake mask of optimism. He’s got his own things to worry about without you adding one more hardship to his life.
You remain silent, and he presses. Spindly fingers crawl beneath the comforter, seeking out the smooth glide of your skin. Your calf. He rubs soothingly. Your instincts tell you to pull away, but the warmth of his palm is grounding—an anchor in the face of a tidal wave threatening to wash you away.
“Talk to me. Please. I haven’t heard from you all night. Not a word today. I tried to give you space. But I was worried.”
And there it is. The nail driven into the coffin.
It’s not intentional, but you sink deeper regardless, that gnarling feeling twisting up your gut. A warm film of tears washes over your eyes. You tamp it down, shove away the frustration. Your voice strains.
“I’m alright, Sy. Just tired.”
You feel him turn on the bed, his knee nudging your back. His hand slides to your hip where he kneads it between careful fingers.
“I don’t believe that.”
You scoff, the sound of it sticky. Of course, he doesn’t. You can’t fool him. He’s too smart for his own good. Sometimes knows you better than you know yourself.
Before you can think, he’s curling around you. Notches his pelvis up against your bottom, tangling your legs together, dragging you closer against the hard press of his body, into the circle of his arms. You owlishly blink as he slots his chin in the junction of your shoulder. Want to laugh because you’re a complicated mess of limbs and bedsheets.
You smell him even through the thick layers of your comforter. He smells like petrichor, spring, and stale cologne. The warmth he exudes is dizzying. Comforting, causing your lids to grow heavy.
He breathes deep behind you. Hums low in his throat, voice vibrating your back and playing up your spine like a xylophone. You contemplate wriggling out of his embrace. You don’t deserve his sympathy—his pity. But his embrace around your middle is possessive as if to convey, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.
“You don’t have to tell me what’s on your mind,” he says, voice steeping low, gritty like sand caught between your toes after a day on the beach. He presses full lips against the slope of your jaw.
“But know that whatever storm you’re weathering, you don’t have to endure it alone.”
That’s the dam-breaker.
Tears spring to your eyes faster than you can think. A bitter sob forces its way past your lips. Why does he have to be so fucking sweet?
He holds you tighter as your body shakes. As you let go of everything you’ve been holding in for the past few months. Strokes reassurance into your stomach with his thumbs, nuzzling further into the hollow of your shoulder. Whispers words of encouragement and it’s alright’s in between your hiccups and apologies.
He doesn’t let go even long after your tears have dried up, and the rain’s let up outside. You feel sleep nipping at your psyche, at the edges of your vision. Maybe you just needed a good cry to tire you out. Open up those floodgates of contaminated water you’ve been fighting to contain.
But before you sink under, your boyfriend softly murmurs in your ear, “Ah ah ah. I bet you haven’t showered all day. I can smell it.”
You reach back to pinch his hip, a scowl screwing up your face as his chest shakes with affectionate laughter. You roll your eyes and wrench yourself free of his embrace. Snatch the blanket off your head—it was getting hot under there, anyway.
Sylus moves to the edge to draw you between his legs, a disarming smile cresting over his lips as he holds you at the waist. “There’s my girl,” he croons, pressing your foreheads together. Kisses you quick, but it's enough to leave you breathless.
You let him lead you to your bathroom to wash up. He leaves you to your own devices as the shower’s comforting spray washes over your skin. You lather up with your favorite body wash, the scent working as a soothing balm over your nerves.
He has your favorite robe and slippers waiting for you when you get out. Sits you on top of the toilet to dry your hair off. Maybe he uses a little too much leave-in conditioner, but he’s smiling all fond as he detangles your hair the way you taught him before taking his time blowdrying your hair.
He drags you into your kitchen for your favorite takeout. Entertains you with stories about the twins running him ragged. When you’re full and laughing and your cheeks ache from smiling so much, he holds you in your bed until your eyes grow heavy again. Hums something lucid, raspy.
“Sy,” you say with your back to him, voice weighed with sleep.
“Hmm? Yes, sweetheart?” he replies, lazily pulling at some strands of your hair. It feels good, pushing you further under.
“Thank you.”
You hear the smile in his voice. “Of course, sweetheart. Anything for you.”
#sylus x reader#sylus x you#love and deepspace sylus#lnds sylus#lads sylus#sylus#l&ds sylus#sylus qin#sylus angst#sylus fluff#love and deepspace fic#tw: depression#tw: anxiety
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Socks and Kisses



leon kennedy x fem!reader
summary: a spontaneous shopping trip has leon re-evaluating his friendship with you.
cw: nsfw (18+) - mdni!!, smut, p in v, spanking, oral sex, praise kink, fluff, friends/roommates to lovers, fantasizing
wc: 3.7k
also posted on ao3!
There’s a shriek leaving you when you trip over a bundle of shoes in the doorway. It nearly sends you hurtling towards the floor, but there’s an arm curling around your waist, tugging you up before you can fall. Leon.
You glare up at your roommate, shoving at his chest so it sends him stumbling.
“Seriously, Leon? How many times have I told you to put your shoes to the side of the doorway?” you snap, crossing your arms over your chest.
He winces at your shrill voice, his hand rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.
“I was busy,” he says, his eyes pleading with you, “you know with… with work.”
You’re shooting him an unimpressed look, pushing past him to put the groceries on the kitchen counter. It was your day to collect them anyways. Living with Leon had happened entirely by accident. One shittily written apartment listing later and the poor guy was standing outside your door, begging you to let him move in. It hadn’t been so bad. Leon had been nice, and you two had gotten along well, becoming friends even. The only thing you couldn’t stand was how messy the man was.
Empty boxes from delivered packages, stray parchment sheets from when he’d bake himself something and socks strewn haphazardly across the floor, much like his shoes. Leon had practically turned your apartment into a deathtrap.
You don’t get to reminisce for much longer, not when he’s reaching for the pack of popsicles you’d bought. Leon lets out a low whine, like a kicked puppy, when you swat his hand away and shoot him an irritated glance. “I’m putting my foot down,” you tell him firmly, “no more unorganized socks, shoes or- or anything for that matter!”
Leon only tilts his head, blinking over at you. You glance towards the clock before your eyes are flitting back to meet his.
“Ikea,” you explain, “we’re going to Ikea to get you some organizers or whatever.”
“ Now? ” Leon asks, raising his brows “but I was going to go to the gym with Chris and-” he’s shutting up when he sees your hardened glare.
Leon lets out an exasperated huff, and you’re smiling over at him, happy you’ve won this argument. Just to reward him, you’re digging out a popsicle from the pack and handing it to him. “So stubborn,” he mumbles under his breath, freeing the popsicle from its wrapper.
“I heard that,” you reply, sticking your tongue out at him.
You both finish up your popsicles, and you’re tossing him his car keys while you pull your shoes on again.
“Why do I have to drive?” he complains, leaning against the doorway.
“Because it’s your mess,” you retort, rolling your eyes, “and you’re paying as well.”
Leon lets out a scoff, “oh, fuck you.”
You smile back at him, patting him on the shoulder for some comfort. You manage to annoy him a little more during the drive to Ikea, and Leon’s contemplating whether he should just stuff your mouth with the rolled up catalog you’re currently holding
It’s when you both get to the kitchen area that Leon realizes something’s wrong. His eyes are watching the way you bend over the model kitchen counter, gaze trained on the way your skirt rides up slightly, exposing the backs of your thighs. He swallows harshly, wondering what it might be like to come up behind you, grab your hips and grind his cock against your ass.
Your voice breaks him out of his dazed thoughts, your hand waving him over as you point to the price tag.
“Don’t you think this is a catch?” You ask him, head tilting back to meet his eyes.
“A catch?” He echoes, raising his brows, “it’s $2000 . Do you even have $2000?”
You roll your eyes, elbowing him in the stomach. “Don’t be such a jerk, Leon. I think it’d look good in our apartment.”
There it is. Our apartment. The words are so comfortably domestic that it has Leon’s knuckles squeezing tight around the basket he’s holding. He’d be lying if he said he hasn’t imagined you two dating. Especially after that time he’d come home drunk one night. You’d taken care of him so sweetly, despite all of your grumbles and chastisements, that Leon felt like he was falling in love.
That had only happened once though, and Leon wasn’t prepared to make a big deal about his feelings so he buried them deep down and carried on with his life.
He doesn’t have time to dwell on his little crush any longer, brows furrowing when he feels the basket in his hand grow heavier. You’ve been milling about, dumping various little trays and organizational tidbits into the basket.
“At this point, I think you’re trying to max out my card,” he drawls, trailing after you.
“I’m helping you, Leon” you shoot back, bringing a candle up to your nose to smell its scent.
It’s not until you both get to the bedding area that Leon realizes he might actually be losing it.
He’s sitting down on the edge of one of the beds, the basket settled on the floor with how heavy it’s become.
You’re fluttering about, checking out the duvet covers and pillow cases. His eyes watch over you, letting you take a seat beside him on the bed when you find a duvet cover you like.
“Pretty, right?” You ask him, showing him the design.
“I guess,” he murmurs absentmindedly.
He thinks you look prettier though. Besides, it’s not like he can tell you that he’s imagining taking you on this very bed. Your face pressed into the pillows, his cock stuffed into your pussy. You’d probably make cute noises too, clench around his cock while he thrusted into you. He’d let everyone watch, he thinks, make sure everyone knew that you were his.
You’re snapping your fingers in his face, trying to get him to pay attention to you.
“Are you okay?” You ask, staring into his eyes “you keep getting distracted.”
“What?” Leon flushes, clearing his throat “yeah- yeah I’m fine… just had enough of you is all.”
You swat his shoulder and he rolls his eyes. Both of you manage to get to the checkout without any further bickering. Leon’s card doesn’t max out thankfully, but you wince when you see the total, ignoring Leon’s glower as he tears the receipt from the machine.
To make up for the spontaneous shopping spree, you buy him a soft serve and hand it to him with a smile.
Leon takes it with a grumble, his eyes dropping to the way you lick at your soft serve. The icy treat smudges across your lips, and he’s reaching out before he can stop himself, his thumb swiping at the corner of your mouth to clean the mess.
“Think you might be the messy one,” he mutters gruffly, drawing his hand back.
“Your socks alone have nearly crippled me” you reply, nibbling at the cone to try and quell the race of your heart at his unexpected action.
Leon lets out a loud sigh, shaking his head. The drive home is quiet, the soft sounds of the radio filling up the car’s space.
You help Leon with the stuff you bought, leaving the goods in his room before letting out a satisfied nod.
“There. Now you don’t have an excuse for being messy. Better start cleaning up, Leon” you chirp, giving him a snarky smile before tugging his door shut.
You sigh happily, mind feeling at ease. You’re sure that your apartment won’t be so messy anymore. The sounds of Leon rummaging inside his room almost make you feel bad, but this had been going on for months and you were glad you had done something about it.
Deciding to grab some food, you reach for the can of peaches on the kitchen counter. By some misfortune, your hand accidentally knocks the can, sending it rolling towards the edge. Letting out an irritated huff, you’re reaching across the counter to grab the can before it falls off.
While this happens, you’re blissfully unaware of the fact that your skirt is riding up. Leon feels his heart nearly jump out of his chest at the sight when he had wandered out of his room to grab a garbage bag.
He can see the swell of your ass, your cheeks peeking out from your panties as you’re bent over, grabbing the can of peaches.
“Have you made it some sort of mission to bend over every kitchen counter you see?” he asks dryly, his arms crossing over his chest.
You squeak in surprise, body jolting. The can of peaches slips from your hand pitifully, landing on the floor with a loud thunk .
“Why are you sneaking up on me?” You whine, turning to give him a glare.
Leon doesn’t reply, coming to a stop in front of you. His blue eyes are dark, dirty blonde hair hanging over his forehead.
“Um… Leon?” You wave your hand in front of his face.
“I’m starting to think you’re doing it on purpose,” he murmurs, his hand catching yours.
“Hm?” he squeezes your hand, his head lowering so he can stare right into his eyes, “bending over every kitchen counter so I can see your pretty ass?”
You manage to gather your wits, letting out a loud scoff and push at his chest.
“You’re such a perv, Leon!” you accuse, narrowing your eyes and placing your hands on your hips.
“I’m not a perv if you keep bending over like that!” he shoots back, his hands grabbing at your forearms to tug you towards him.
You swallow harshly when his calloused hands drift past your wrists, finding your hands and lacing his fingers with yours. The warmth of his body seeps into yours and your head is tilting, eyes finding his.
“We- we are not fucking,” you whisper, shaking your head.
“Who said anything about fucking?” Leon asks, his head lowering again.
His body presses against yours, causing your breath to hitch. You’re biting your lip at the way it feels, the hard planes of his body molding against yours.
“One kiss,” he whispers, peering into your eyes, “please? Just one kiss and it’ll be over.”
You’d be doing yourself a disservice if you denied his request. Leon was stupidly handsome even if he was a little annoying at times, and you had maybe masturbated to the thought of your roommate before.
“Did you happen to forget that we’re roommates?” you raise your brows, trying to voice your concerns.
“Roommates kiss all the time,” he says, his nose nudging against yours gently, “now c’mon, gimme a kiss.”
You don't know what sort of roommates he’s been hanging around, but you’re almost certain that roommates don’t kiss or do whatever the hell you two are doing right now.
Leon doesn’t know what he’s doing either. That one shopping trip had seriously messed up his brain, but he was here now so there was no going back. Your lips look so pretty, your eyes all starry. He wants to kiss you senseless and bend you over that stupid kitchen counter while he fucks into you until you’re crying on his cock.
As if to encourage you a little more, he nudges his nose against yours again. You send him a glare, eyes slipping shut as you rock up on the tips of your toes and brush your lips against his. The kiss is fleeting, a mere touch of your lips against his, and it’s safe to say Leon is not impressed.
“There,” you say, trying to hide the smirk that spreads across your face, “you got a kiss. Now leave me alone.”
Leon lets out a low groan, his head falling against your shoulder, “you’re a fuckin’ tease, you know that?”
You hum, pushing at his chest, taking the opportunity to free yourself from the confines of his grasp.
“Not so fast,” he murmurs, his hand snagging onto your shirt, “c’mere baby.”
His low voice has the butterflies in your stomach fluttering, your eyes widening when his hands cup your cheeks and he presses his lips against yours.
It doesn’t take you long to respond, arms wrapping around his neck as he kisses you fiercely. He groans into your mouth, his arms winding around your waist to pull you closer.
You’re both flush against each other and you let out an irritated noise when he shoves you up against the kitchen counter, feeling the solid surface dig into your back.
“Drove me crazy at that Ikea,” he whispers against your lips, his hands sneaking under your skirt to give your ass an appreciative grope, “thought about fucking you on one of those beds.”
The idea of it is so obscene and indecent that you find yourself moaning out loud.
“Yeah? You like that, baby? Me fucking you in front of everyone, letting them know that you’re mine?”
You’re nodding desperately at his filthy questions, trying to tug his shirt off so you can see his chest and abdomen. He obliges you, quickly shrugging off his shirt. Your teeth sink into your lower lip at the sight, eyes half-lidded.
You can’t help the way your body leans forward, lips pressing soft kisses across his chest and his pecs. Leon sucks in a sharp breath, his hands moving to cradle the back of your head.
“Just kisses, huh?” he murmurs.
You nod, peering up at him “no fucking, remember?”
He hums, tilting your head so he can kiss you again. Leon kisses you over and over until you can’t breathe. You’re feeling so dazed that you don’t even notice he’s spinning you around, bending you over the kitchen counter. There’s a soft whine escaping you when he flips your skirt up, his hands squeezing at your ass before his fingers slip under your panties, tugging the fabric back and letting it snap back against you.
Your fingers are scrabbling at the counter top when you feel him drop to his knees, his lips pressing against the skin of your ass. He kisses your body so reverently, you think you might actually pass out.
“Wanna kiss your pussy too,” he mumbles, tugging your panties down. You shudder when you feel his breath hit your sensitive skin, hips swaying back to meet the kisses he places on your clit.
His tongue lolls out before long, lapping at your cunt, collecting the slick that drips from you.
“That- that is not kissing,” you whimper out, head falling against the coolness of the counter.
“Sure it is,” he whispers, burying his face deeper into your pussy, “just dirty kisses, sweetheart.”
The way he eats you out is messy. Leon’s trying to shove his face deeper between your thighs, his lips suctioning around your pussy. You mewl when he draws back and spits on your cunt, his mouth latching on soon after. You’re not sure how much longer you can hold on, knees beginning to shake. Leon delivers a particularly toe-curling suck to your clit and you’re shuddering, letting out whines and whimpers when he lets out a low laugh, his tongue swiping over your cunt repeatedly.
“Leon- fuck! Leon, ‘m gonna-” you can barely speak properly.
“Then come , baby,” he whispers, his tongue pressing into your fluttering hole.
You squeal at the unfamiliar sensation, knuckles turning white as you come on his tongue. He licks up your slick eagerly, his wet lips pressing soft kisses against the swell of your ass as you pant.
He stands up, tucking his face into the crook of your neck. You press your back against his chest, turning your head to kiss along his jaw. His eyes flutter shut, his hands smoothing along your back to undo the clasp of your bra.
Your arms lift and Leon helps you take off your shirt and bra, letting out a soft sigh as your head falls back against his shoulder. Leon’s hands are restless, reaching for your breasts.
He hums at the sight of your hard nipples, pinching and rolling them between his fingers before letting go to squeeze your tits.
“You’re real pretty, sweetheart” he whispers, kissing your cheek.
You mewl, cheeks flushing. You hadn’t expected him to talk to you so sweetly. Leon feels your body lurch forward, tits pressing against his palms. He laughs, giving another firm grope to your tits and finds your lips to give you another filthy kiss. While he kisses you, Leon grinds his hips against your ass, and you gasp into his mouth, feeling the outline of his cock through his shorts.
“Think my cock wants to give your cute pussy some kisses too,” he says, his mouth pressed against your ear, “you up for it, baby?”
You could be a bobblehead with how fast your head is moving up and down. Leon grins against your ear, placing another kiss to your cheek before he’s bending you over the counter. The coolness of the counter startles you slightly, but Leon’s hand rubs up and down your back, warming your skin.
Tits squished against the hard surface, your feet on the tips of your toes, pussy glistening with his spit and your arousal, Leon can hardly believe his fantasy has come to fruition. He wants to take a picture, keep it safe and jerk off to the sight of you when he’s alone. There’s no pictures taken though, instead Leon’s hand delivers a heavy slap to one of your ass cheeks.
You moan, back arching slightly as you try and chase the feeling. It hurts and you can feel the sting of his palm prickling across your skin, but you want him to spank you again so badly.
“L- Leon, want more,” you mumble, looking back at him.
Leon takes your request in stride, his hand coming down on your ass repeatedly. Your body slumps against the counter, soft noises escaping you as he rains slap after slap onto your reddening skin.
“Shit, sweetheart” he whispers, his hands smoothing over the damage he’s done to your ass “so fuckin’ pretty.”
There’s a babbled noise escaping you. Mind feeling like mush, all you can think about is Leon. He smooths his hands over your sensitive skin a few more times, trying to soothe the pain before you feel him squeeze gently as he presses the head of his cock against your aching hole.
Leon pushes into your pussy with a groan, his hands squeezing at your hips. It almost feels like he’s trying to ground himself.
“Fuck-” he hisses, drawing his hips back to thrust back into you again, “ fuck - you’re so tight, baby.”
You whimper at the feeling of his cock stretching you out. Leon’s thrusts are beginning to pick up in speed and you’re whining, the force of his thrusts making your body rub against the kitchen counter.
“Leon, Leon, Leon,” you chant his name and his body is draping over yours, lips pressing kisses to your shoulder and back, “feels so good,” you slur.
His hips are rutting against your ass, cock stuffing you full. You’re moaning so loudly that Leon has to slip his hand over your mouth in an effort to quieten your noises. His balls are slapping against your clit and the combined stimulation is making your head spin.
Soon, his hand is leaving your mouth to grip your hips again.
“Take my fucking cock,” he grunts, each word punctuated with a harsh slap to your ass.
“It’s too much!” you wail, nails clawing at the counter to try and crawl away.
He growls, grip tightening as he keeps you in place, “don’t you dare run. Take my cock like a good girl, baby.”
“You’re insane,” you cry, but there’s a cockdrunk smile spreading across your face as he fucks into you.
“Yeah,” he whispers, his head lowering so he can whisper into your ear, “and it’s all for you, because- because I like you.”
There’s a loud whine ripping out of you at that, wet heat clenching around him. No one’s confessed to you before, like ever . You suck in a sharp breath, trying to calm your heart and stop the excited flipping of your stomach that comes with his confession.
Leon moans when he feels the clench of your walls around his cock and he’s fucking into you with renewed fervor.
“I like you,” he whispers again “like you so much, sweetheart. Always taking care of me, looking out for me, makes me feel special.”
“Only do that ‘cause you’re an idiot, Leon” you mumble, swallowing back another moan that threatens to spill out.
“But you do it anyway,” he murmurs, driving his cock into you.
You gasp, eyes squeezing shut as his fat tip grazes the spot deep inside of you. He grunts when he feels you getting tighter, feels you clenching hard around his cock.
“You gonna come for me?” he asks, sucking little love bites onto your neck, “hm? Can feel you clenching around me, baby.”
“Wanna- wanna come at the same time,” you babble “right, Leon? Since- since you like me, we gotta come at the same time.”
He’s letting out a hoarse laugh, kissing your shoulder again, “yeah baby, I’m right there with you.”
All of a sudden, he’s burying himself to the hilt inside of you and your mouth drops open, a sharp noise leaving you as you both come. Your body is limp against the counter, body covered in a thin sheen of sweat as you pant. Leon kisses your neck, letting out a whine as his cum spurts into you. It’s warm and thick, filling you up so perfectly that it has a serene smile settling on your face.
He helps you onto your feet, his hands rubbing up and down your sides to soothe your shaky legs. You feel him press a soft kiss to the side of your head and you’re rocking up on the tips of your toes, returning a kiss to his cheek.
“I like you too, Leon” you whisper, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him down for another kiss.
You can feel him smile against your lips and he’s kissing you back sweetly. Leon keeps you there for a while as you both kiss, his hands petting across your tired body.
He takes you to his room later, his hand encasing yours. The moment is almost perfect, if not for the sock on the floor that sends you careening into his desk. “Leon!” you grit out.
He only laughs, his arms wrapping around your waist as he picks you up and tosses you onto his bed.
“Sorry, sweetheart.”
#leon kennedy smut#leon kennedy x reader#resident evil smut#leon kennedy x you#resident evil#leon kennedy
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down bad

bucky barnes x reader
word count: 3.9k
author's note: i couldn't stop thinking about bucky being able to use his metal hand as a vibrator and therefore this was born.
warnings/tags: SMUT, oral (female receiving), fingering, bucky being used as a human vibrator, multiple orgasms, language, consumption of alcohol, reader is afab, no use of y/n, slightly possessive bucky, 18+ only
“You’ve got to be fucking joking,” Natasha mutters through a mouth full of popcorn. “Tyler from the statistics department? Are we talking about the same Tyler from statistics?”
“Nat, for the fourth time, yes. Tyler from statistics. The only Tyler from statistics that I know.” You reach for the bottle of Moscato that the two of you are sharing, pouring yourself some more wine.
“Nuh-uh,” Natasha shakes her head. “I don't believe you. There's no way he could be that bad.” She takes a sip from her own glass of wine. “He's too gorgeous,” she shrugs, turning to face you on the couch. The romantic comedy you had picked out for your bi-monthly movie night plays forgotten in the background.
“Trust me,” you sigh. “I was just as shocked as you are. But I swear on my life, he stuck his tongue in my ear. In my fucking ear, but wouldn't go down on me.” You can tell by the look on her face that Nat is trying her hardest not to laugh.
“He said his dick game is ‘too good to need to eat a girl out’.” You shake your head, cringing at the memory. “Which is also what he said when I merely suggested that he use my vibrator on me instead. He looked like I had kicked his dog.”
“Well?” she asks, a pained expression across her features. “Was it? Too good?”
“I didn't stay to find out,” you admit. “I faked a work emergency and dipped.” A laugh breaks through her pursed lips.
“I'm sorry–” she says, although her face says otherwise. “I shouldn't laugh. You just have the worst luck with men. Isn't that the third failed hook-up in what? Six months?”
“Don't fucking remind me,” you groan, throwing your head back on the couch and staring up at the living room ceiling. “I think I've lost all hope of ever having an orgasm given to me by another person again.”
Nat opens her mouth to speak, but quickly closes it when you both notice voices approaching from the hallway.
Sam and Bucky enter the room a moment later, both dressed uncharacteristically nice. You suddenly feel the desire to conceal yourself with the fleece throw blanket laying across your lap. You and Nat usually plan your movie nights for when the tower is relatively empty, so you're just wearing a pair of old sweatpants and a tank top. Bare-faced and hair unstyled, the fact that Bucky's gaze is locked on you as the two of them approach where you and Nat are lounging doesn't help. He's not smiling - but there's a look on his face that you don't quite understand. The ghost of a smirk on his lips and a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.
It's a look that makes you nervous - in addition to already feeling flutters in the pit of your stomach at how fucking good he looks.
“Hey, boys,” Nat greets them cheerily. “Where are the two of you going so dolled up?”
“There's a new nightclub in Brooklyn that a group of SHIELD trainees are going to tonight,” Sam answers. “They invited us and we've got nothing better to do. Figured we'd go check it out, get a few drinks. You ladies want to tag along? Or are you too busy watching - what is this, 10 Things I Hate About You?” He gestures towards the screen.
“Couldn't hurt to get out of the house for a while tonight, right?” Nat looks at you for confirmation, a knowing gleam in her eyes. “Who knows, you might even meet someone,” she adds, nudging you with her elbow.
Bucky lets out a sound halfway between a laugh and a cough, which he tries to play off as the latter. You narrow your eyes at him before glancing back to Natasha.
“For sure,” you agree, trying to ignore Bucky's bizarre behavior. “Couldn't hurt. You guys go on, we'll get ready and head there soon. Text us the name of the club?” You direct the last part to Sam in particular.
“You got it,” Sam says as he pulls his cell phone from his coat pocket. He turns to leave when both your and Nat’s phones chime with the club information. “Let's go man, our Uber's here,” he directs at Bucky.
“See you both soon,” he says before turning to follow Sam, though his gaze is still only on one of you.
“I'm gonna go throw on some make-up, curl my hair, and hope I can find something somewhat cute to–” Nat starts as soon as Bucky and Sam have turned back down the hallway.
“Was he acting kind of odd?” you interrupt her in a hushed tone.
“Barnes? Always. I've stopped reading into it too much.”
“Some spy you are,” you mumble. “Meet me back here when you're ready.”
— — — — —
One hour later, you're applying some last minute mascara and lip gloss in the backseat of an Uber on your way to downtown Brooklyn. Natasha sits beside you, ranting about an assignment that Fury has tasked her with and you swear you're trying your hardest to absorb everything she's saying - but your mind keeps going back to the way Bucky was looking at you just an hour ago.
What was with that little smirk? That curious glimmer in his eyes? Had he overheard your conversation with Nat? Had he developed the ability to read minds and knew you were thinking about how fucking hot he looked? Or was that thought simply written all over your face?
You knew you couldn't deny it. Bucky does look exceptionally attractive in his black suit, with his perfectly tousled hair - but you had found him to be ridiculously good looking since you'd first met him. Even in casual, everyday clothes, even in gym shorts and drenched in sweat, even covered in blood after particularly brutal miss–
“You girls have a great evening,” your Uber driver interrupts your train of thought as he comes to a stop in front of your destination.
You really need to get fucking laid. You definitely shouldn't be having these kinds of thoughts about Bucky. He's your coworker, your teammate, your training partner on many occasions, your friend…
Natasha thanks him and hands him a generous cash tip before climbing out of the car right after you.
“Thanks,” you tell her. “I'll buy our drinks.”
“Don't worry about me,” she tells you with a sly grin as you both flash the bouncer your IDs and enter the club. Despite the night still being relatively young, it's already bustling inside.
“You just focus on meeting people, mingling, maybe hitting it off with a super hot guy and taking him back to your place for some mind-blowing–”
“Super hot guy? Are you talking about me?” Sam’s voice interrupts Nat. You both turn around to see him and Bucky walking towards you, drinks in hand.
There's a roguish smile on Bucky's face as his eyes skim up and down your figure.
“You both look wonderful,” he compliments, but once again, his stare is focused only on you. If Natasha notices, she says nothing.
To be fair, you were impressed with how well you managed to put yourself together with such little notice. You found a black, backless mini dress crammed in the back of your closet that you had forgotten all about after snagging it on clearance forever ago. The form-fitting material hugs you in all the right ways, and paired with your favorite pair of strappy black heels, you're feeling infinitely more confident than you were when Bucky saw you just an hour prior.
“Thanks!” You chirp quickly, averting your gaze from him to take in your surroundings. To your left, the dance floor is lively, though not too overcrowded for your liking. To your right, there's a bar surrounded by tables filled with groups of people conversing - you vaguely recognize a couple of SHIELD agents huddled around one. The entire room is illuminated by the faint blue-green glow of the mood lighting, and the bass of the music vibrates through the floorboards.
Sam and Bucky excuse themselves to go say hey to the group of agents that had invited them, while Nat all but drags you over to the bar. You order a double shot of whiskey and throw it back as quickly as you can.
“I see what you mean now,” Nat whispers to you after downing her shot of tequila. “About Barnes,” she clarifies. “He's been eye-fucking you since we walked through the door.”
If you hadn't already swallowed your liquor, you would have spewed it all over her.
“He has not been eye-fucking me, Nat,” you say in an almost scolding tone.
“I'm just saying,” she throws her hands up. “There’s no way he could possibly be any worse than the last few guys you've gone for. I think you should go for it,” she shrugs.
“It's not that I don't think he'd be good,” you say defensively, forcing yourself to look away from where he and Sam are socializing with the small group of SHIELD agents a few tables away. “I just don't want things to be weird afterwards. We work together nearly every day, and we have a bunch of mutual friends–”
“Suit yourself,” she cuts you off in a tone of voice that very much says if you say so. “Now, are you going to dance with me or not?” She adds as she begins tugging you towards the ever-busying dance floor.
You spend the next half hour dancing with Nat before she's swept away by some black-haired doctor looking type. Good for her, you think as you watch them converse intimately at a small booth on the other side of the room.
Thanks to the liquid courage that runs through your veins, you're okay with the fact that Bucky stands just twenty feet away from you, watching you as you dance among the thick crowd of people.
You've made eye contact with him a few times now - on accident or on purpose, you're not sure at this point. But each time, your eyes lingers on his for a moment longer than the last.
You're mentally daring him to come here, to make a move, to do something other than stand to the sidelines of whatever conversation Sam and the others are engaged in.
The slightest bit of pressure on your waist snaps you back to the now congested dance floor.
You look up to find that the hand on your waist belongs to a tall man with shoulder length, sandy blonde hair. He's conventionally attractive enough, though not who you were hoping would come grab you on the dance floor.
“I'm Shawn,” he introduces himself, loudly enough for you to hear him over the roaring music. You tell him your name, pushing aside the pang of disappointment in your chest.
“Do you want to go somewhere a bit quieter to talk, maybe? Let me buy you a drin–”
“There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you,” a voice booms from behind you.
Shawn immediately retracts his hand from your waist, backing up a few inches as Bucky comes into view beside you.
“Must not have been looking too hard, I've been right here this whole time,” you jab back with a smug smile.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to–” Shawn says as he starts to back away.
“No worries, bud,” Bucky says in an overly friendly voice as he moves to stand in front of you, blocking you from Shawn's view entirely.
“Took you long enough,” you tell Bucky once the man is out of ear shot, once again beginning to sway to the music. “Get bored of listening to Sam hype himself up to the newbies?”
He takes a step closer, angling himself behind you. The crowd of people surrounding you edges you closer to him - your bare back brushing against the cool satin fabric of his suit.
“Maybe,” his chest vibrates against your skin when he speaks. He places his hands on either side of your hips - eliciting goosebumps across your skin in a way that no one else has in a long, long time.
“Or maybe I just wanted to save you from wasting your time on another guy who can't make you come.”
Your movements come to an abrupt pause as his words hit you.
He had fucking overheard your conversation with Natasha.
At a loss for words, you turn to face him. There's a shit-eating grin spread across his face. He thinks this is hilarious and it's obvious.
“Hasn't anyone ever told you it's rude to eavesdrop?”
“Is it really eavesdropping if I have superhuman hearing?” He takes a step closer to you, closing what little distance was separating you. The peaks of your breasts brush against his chest.
“So what happens now that you've saved me from another unsatisfactory hook-up?” You challenge, staring up at him in the neon blue lighting.
You can smell hints of cedarwood and sage from his cologne in your close proximity. It's so delicious that it's dizzying.
“Let me take you somewhere more private than this dance floor and I'll show you.”
“You seem to have a lot of confidence in your ability to give me a better experience,” you say, leaning forward so that your face is just inches from his.
He responds by placing his flesh hand on the small of your back and pulling you flush against him. The tips of his fingers continue to dance down the skin of your exposed spine. His vibranium hand comes to cradle your jaw, his metal thumb tracing your bottom lip.
His mouth forms a dark smirk - and then you feel it. It starts soft and subtle and then gradually increases in intensity.
His fucking thumb is vibrating against your lip.
If you hadn't been standing in the middle of a crowded dance floor at a nightclub in downtown Brooklyn, you would have taken that thumb into your mouth and sucked on it right then and there.
“What do you say?” he asks, now tugging on your bottom lip with the pulsing digit. “Are you going to let me take you to the first empty room I can find in this place and make you come?”
“I say show me the way.”
He removes his hand from your face and turns you in the direction of the back of the club. He guides you through the throng of dancers, keeping his hands placed firmly on either side of your waist from behind. His vibranium fingers still hum softly, reminding you of what he says is to come.
Directly past the dance floor, there's a hallway blocked off by a rope with a sign that reads employees only. Taking a quick look around, you see that all of the patrons surrounding you and Bucky are paying you no mind. Bucky unhooks the flimsy rope and the two of you slip down the hallway.
He jiggles the handles of several doors that all turn out to be locked. Not wanting to waste any time or draw any attention to yourselves with picking locks, you continue down the dark corridor until the heavy music from the heart of the club fades to a muted roar.
The very last door opens without a hitch.
Thanks to the pale orange glow of a table lamp on a desk in the corner of the room, you can see that you're in a makeshift office/supply room - a couple of filing cabinets, cleaning supplies, extra glassware, and some sound equipment strewn haphazardly throughout the limited space.
Bucky clicks the lock into place as soon as he closes the door behind him.
You're going to turn around him and tell him that he doesn't have to do this - that as badly as you want this, you don't want to ruin your friendship, that as badly as you want him, he doesn't have anything to prove to you - but his lips are already on yours as soon as you start to open your mouth.
He doesn't take his lips off of yours as he guides you backwards to the rickety wooden desk. The backs of your thighs hit the table and Bucky effortlessly lifts you to sit on the edge, giving him the perfect angle to deepen the kiss - with his tongue exploring your mouth, you're unable to stop yourself from groaning into the kiss.
You fist your fingers into his hair, tugging just hard enough so that he hisses into your mouth. His own hands trail from the sides of your stomach and down your thighs, until he reaches the tail of your dress. You instinctively part your legs for him, as much as the restrictive fabric will allow, and his vibranium hand shoots between your thighs.
He teases you, dragging his index finger along the cloth of your panties that you know you're close to soaking through already. Just as the tip of his finger pauses above your clit, his finger begins emitting the softest vibration.
You break the kiss, breathless as you throw your head back at the sensation. Bucky takes it as an opportunity to attach his lips to the pulse point of your throat, nipping your flesh with his teeth followed by a wet kiss.
He continues with the ministrations through your panties until you're rutting against his hand, needing more. He tugs your underwear to the side and increases the intensity of the vibration before nudging his middle finger past your entrance.
You have to hold onto his shoulders to steady yourself - despite the fact that you're sitting, your body feels like jelly beneath his touch. He adds in his index finger with ease before cupping your pussy in his palm - the heel of his hand pulsating against your clit.
“Fuck, Bucky,” you cry against his mouth.
“You're so fucking wet for me, you know that?” He coos, thrusting both of his fingers against the spongy-flesh of your walls.
You can feel the vibrations of his hand all the way from your belly to your toes.
You begin grinding your hips to meet the movement of his fingers, fucking yourself against his hand. There's a familiar knot forming in your lower belly as he curls his fingers inside you -
“I want you to think about me and how good I'm making you feel every time you think about letting some fuckin’ nobody touch you,” he says in a low voice next to your ear. “I want you to think about riding my fingers until you come all over my hand.”
His words send you over the edge and you do exactly that - your pussy clenching around his fingers as you ride them through your orgasm. While you're still coming down from the high of your climax, Bucky pulls his metal fingers out of you and brings them to your lips, inserting his index finger in your mouth. You swirl your tongue around the slick metal as he brings the vibrations to a halt and then slowly pulls the finger from your mouth.
He picks you up off the edge of the desk and plants you back on the ground - your legs still shaking from how hard you had come.
“Turn around and lean over the desk,” he instructs you, soft but authoritative.
You don't know if it's because of the way he's looking at you or because of how good he's already made you feel, but in that moment, you would've done anything he asked of you.
You bend over the desk, supporting yourself by leaning on your forearms. You peak back over your shoulder to look at Bucky - he hikes your dress up, baring your ass to him.
He lets out an audible groan before he has even pulled your panties down to your ankles.
He kneels on the ground behind you, his face inches away from your cunt. He uses both his flesh and metal hands to spread you open for him, and then his tongue is licking up your center from behind.
God, you hope no one tries to come into this room. The door may be locked but the sounds that someone would hear if they even walked up to the door…
Bucky knows just how to make you writhe above him. He's soft when he's kissing up your folds and unsparing when he's sucking your clit between his lips. His hands hold your ass in a firm grasp that teeters between pleasure and pain.
You grind back against his face and he moans so deeply that you feel the vibration of it up your core. Your eyes roll back into your head as you clutch the sides of the desk to better support yourself.
His enthusiasm alone has you spiraling towards a second climax embarrassingly fast.
“You know,” he murmurs against your sensitive pussy. “When I overheard you say that someone had refused to go down on you, I couldn't believe it. What a fuckin idiot to pass this up.” He gives your ass cheek a firm slap with his flesh hand before diving his face between your legs once more.
It's just seconds before you feel the telltale pressure growing in your lower belly once more. You go limp against the table, Bucky placing his hands on the backs of your thighs to help keep you upright as you ride out your orgasm on his face.
You continue to lay against the desk as you regain control of your breathing. Bucky stands up, tugging your panties up your legs and back around your waist as he does. He then shimmies your dress back down into place so that you're once again looking club-appropriate.
When you turn around to face him, he's wiping your slick from his lower face on the sleeve of his suit, once again displaying a shit-eating grin.
“What was it you said?” He asks in mocking contemplation. “You had lost all hope of ever having an orgasm given to you by another person again?”
“I think you've made your point. You're fantastic at eating pussy and you're a walking human-sex toy.” You roll your eyes at him and start to walk towards the door, but he grabs your wrist in his metal hand, stopping you.
He pulls you back to him and brings his flesh hand to cradle your jawline. He stares at you in a heavy, uncertain silence for a split second before bringing his lips to yours.
It's a kiss that's a bit more hesitant, and a lot less rushed than the one before. You taste yourself all over him, warm and salty. He takes his time getting lost in your mouth - you savor every second and it still comes to and end all too once.
“Couldn't help myself,” he smiles softly when he pulls away. “Just had to kiss you one last time.”
You can't help the way your heart skips a beat when he says the word last.
You clear your throat. “We should probably go find Sam and Natasha,” you say, giving him a small smile in return. “I'm sure they're both wondering where the hell we are.”
You spend the rest of the evening attempting to mingle with friends, but there's one thought that torments you for the remaining duration of the night - just a few hours ago, you doubted that you'd ever have a satisfactory hook-up ever again.
Now, you had to wonder if anyone else could ever make you feel as good as Bucky did.
♡♡♡♡♡
i left this kind of open-ended soooo leave it to your own interpretation what happens next for them 🤭
as always comments/reblogs are infinitely appreciated. thanks for reading!
my masterlist
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes one-shot#bucky x you#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fic#my writing#flowersforbucky
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