silverhand-j

[silverhand-j]

i went to "mad at me" island expecting to find people i knew, something i understood. but when my boat landed, standing upon the shore were a million empty husks wearing my own face. every foot of the island was occupied, and everywhere i went, they watched me with contempt. they never spoke, never breathed. they simply watched. no matter how i grovelled and begged, snarled and cursed, tried to hide or kicked and hit, they simply stared. the hatred in their gaze was inescapable, but i could hardly return it, knowing that their doomed existence was of my own creation. knowing that the hatred was nobody's but my own. in the end i just wept, unable to stand the relentless gaze of my own infinite glare.

the guy who i accidentally cut off in traffic last week was there also

[silverhand-j]

my maimai #mymaimai

[silverhand-j]

Me when my adderall kicks in and I can read more than one sentence

[silverhand-j]

[silverhand-j]

Age play but im 60. yeah baby just like that..No im not about to cum i cant without drugs we’ve been over this yyou idiot

[silverhand-j]

pour one out for the guy who just spilled his drink

[silverhand-j]

Judge: Sensitive pervert, you stand accused… of loving too beautifully, fucking too skillfully, and keeping it too motherfucking real. How do you plead?

Me: I plead… guilty to all chargers ur honor

Judge: gasp

Jury: gasp

Prosecutor: grits teeth and starts growling

My hot defense lawyer with a huge rack: whoa…he might just have what it takes…

[silverhand-j]

nothing is more thrilling to me than two men NOT fucking

[silverhand-j]

[silverhand-j]

when something good happens to you be sure to say "this is the result of my latent psychic powers acting subconsciously upon my desires" and when something bad happens to you say "this is the result of God choosing to punish me for not being able to get pregnant"

[silverhand-j]

I love it when my vocabulary spreads like a disease. Sharing a lexicon with friends is normal, it’s expected. I’m getting my coworkers to say things like “cutiepie” and one time I overheard one of my middle aged managers who is usually very monotone in the way he speaks say “yaaaaaay” in the exact tone that I do.

[silverhand-j]

[silverhand-j]

wow, your pussy is the [remembering I'm in an airport] THERES A BOMB STRAPPED TO MY CHEST ITS GOING TO EXPLODE IN TEN MINUTES

[silverhand-j]

do i peas you off

[silverhand-j]

[silverhand-j]

bigs my eyes

[silverhand-j]

it's kinda slutty when a man has long hair. like what do you want me to do, grab you? lol