#also getting a pic of this shirt after I already put it on without showing you my ugly face was a struggle

[taste-thewaste]

Gettin ready to stunt on them hoes*

*the rude boomers in my book club at the public library

[screwitbaby]

date night

hamzahthefantastic x reader (oneshot)

summary: hamzah had made a reservation for you two to go on a date night, only to miss it and have to make it up to you ;)

contains: smut, fluff, general NSFW content

a/n: hiii this is my first post pls go easy on me and the song is just there bc i feel like it applies to how i feel abt hamzah (also that pic of him is ridiculous but i love it muahaha)

-

You couldn’t believe it. You were sitting in this boujee Italian restaurant, all dolled up and quite frankly famished, waiting for your boyfriend to magically appear an hour after you had agreed to meet.

The waiter came to check on you for the upteenth time when you decided you’d had enough humiliation for the night. You finished the last of the white wine in your glass and ordered an Uber.

When you got home, you stripped of your dress and heels, eyeing the desecration of your room that took form during the process of you getting ready for the night. You could’ve been at his place by now, but instead you were stuck cleaning up the reminder of your failed date.

You were strewn across the couch in just a T-shirt, absentmindedly watching a movie when you heard knocking on your apartment door. You got up to look into the peephole and sighed. You unlocked it without even opening it. You refused to look at him, simply walking to the couch and focusing on the TV.

“Baby, I’m so so sorry,” Hamzah said once he was inside.

Your vision was obstructed by a bouquet of flowers; an array of purple hyacinth, phlox, and snowdrop amidst green tuberose stalks that had yet to bloom. You took them from his hands and placed them in a vase on the kitchen counter, all while he was following you like a kicked puppy and apologizing.

“I cried all my makeup off,” you said.

“I’m so sorry,” he repeated. “I was trying to finish up the video with Martin, but our footage got corrupted and—I’m sorry. I know I fucked up.”

“At least you know,” you mumbled, fiddling with the flowers. You tried not to cry but some tears escaped despite your best efforts.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you.” He walked up behind you and put his hands on your waist. “You can slap me if you want.”

“Hamzah,” you sighed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m serious,” he said, grazing his fingertips across your sides. “I thought I could get it done and make it to our date, but I only made you upset. I’m a fool.”

He began kissing your shoulder and you melted into his embrace. His lips trailed all the way up your neck to your cheek. You tilted your head to the side and exhaled.

“I’m so stupid,” he said in between placing chaste kisses on your skin. “Why would I do that to my babygirl?”

You turned around in his arms and crossed yours, finally making eye contact. “Is this your idea of ‘making it up to me’?”

“I don’t know,” he said, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. “Is it working?”

He was still in his dress clothes and you found it so annoying how even through your dejection, you still found him so charming.

“If you have to ask…”

He tilted his head and smiled with his tongue in his cheek. “It’s not funny.”

“It isn’t, babe,” he said, hands finding your hips again. “I just can’t stand you being angry at me.”

“Then don’t make me angry.”

“And your lips are swollen and your eyes are red from crying,” he continued on, swiping your tears away with his thumb. “But I still can’t fathom how beautiful you are. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

He held you against him and placed kisses on your neck, right on your pulse. You felt him begin to suck and held back a moan, not wanting to give in just yet.

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered, kissing the splotchy red mark he left.

“Show me that you do,” you said.

He pulled away to look you in your eyes. “Show you?”

You raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to make a move. He got the hint and took your hand to lead you to your bedroom, all too familiar with the floor plan of your apartment. When you arrived at the bed, he lied down and pulled you on top of him. Then, his lips pressed against yours.

You immediately licked at his lips, not wanting to take it slow. Your movements were fueled by anger, his passion. You hated how quickly you’d respond to his advances, so you made sure he’d know you weren’t there to make love.

Your mouths clashed and your palms laid flat on his chest, holding you up as you tried to get as close to each other as possible, to becoming one. You ground your hips against his, already feeling his dick rising to attention against you. He held your hair back with one hand as the two of you got more insatiable.

Your clothes came off and he pulled your panties to the side, his fingers touching you where you needed him most. You moaned against his lips, rocking yourself against his digits that were covered in your slick. It was when you reached down into his boxers that he stopped you, a string of spit still connecting you.

“It’s all about you tonight, baby,” he said, breathless.

He hastily pulled you up his torso and you would’ve lost your balance if he wasn’t holding you in place. He pressed a kiss against your clothed clit and you shivered, biting your lip.

“Take it off,” he growled, so you did.

With you grabbing the headboard, he pulled you down in one swift motion onto his face. His tongue swiped up your wetness and a moan ripped through your throat at the sudden contact. He showed no mercy, palms grasping at your ass to rock you harder against him as he fucked his tongue in and out of you. As his nose rubbed against your clit deliciously, you called his name out like a prayer.

One of his hands reached up to pinch at your nipples and you gasped, slipping your hand into his curls and pulling. He groaned and the vibrations sent shockwaves through you that only pushed you closer to the finish line. He ate you without breaking apart for a single breath. Blinding white heat filled your veins when he began desperately suctioning his lips on your clit and it was all getting to be too much.

“Cum for me,” he mumbled against your heat.

Something awakened within you when you felt the stinging sensation of a smack against your ass. The obscene sound of his moans against you echoing through the room. His saliva mixed with your arousal and creating a wet friction that had your eyes rolling back into your head. You couldn’t take it anymore.

You rode his face with shaky legs, crying out as your orgasm racked through your body and turned your brain to mush. He held you down and torturously nipped at your skin, kissing and licking at your thighs and pubic bone. He didn’t stop until he had lapped up all of you. When you’d finally had enough, you held his hands and climbed off, sitting up against the headboard to try and collect yourself.

Oxygen filled your lungs for the first time in what felt like hours. You looked to your left, watching him clean the traces of you on his face and lick it off his fingers. You groaned and turned on your side to nuzzle yourself into his rapidly rising and falling chest.

“I love you,” he said. You leaned up to kiss him lazily, tasting yourself on his lips. “And I’m sorry for tonight.”

“I know. I love you,” you replied, resting your cheek on his pec and gently tracing his happy trail with your finger. “I don’t like that restaurant much, anyway.”

He huffed out a laugh at your words. “For real?”

“Yeah, I only go ‘cause it’s your favorite,” you admitted. “I’d prefer your cooking.”

He laughed again and you dug your face into his bouncing chest, biting back your smile.

“I wish you told me that before I made you cry,” he whispered. The same relentless fingers that were inside you just minutes before delicately ghosted across your spine.

“You know what would really make it up to me?” You placed your chin atop your hands and stared at his big brown eyes.

“Hmm?” He gently wiped the remnants of mascara from under your eyes.

“If you made me some food. Now.”

He grinned and kissed your forehead before getting up from bed, making you whine. He tossed one of his shirts on the bed for you and you pulled it on.

“I’m making spaghetti bolognese.” He leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed and you shamelessly took in the sight of his biceps flexing. “How’s that sound, baby?”

“Perfect,” you sighed. He began to retreat down the hall until you called out his name. “What about you?”

You motioned towards his dick and he shook his head. “Who said I was done with you?”

~

a/n: AHHHH lmk if u liked it !!!

[itstheghostofmypast]

15.07

Choi San x (f)Reader

Summary: At this point, he didn't know who she loved more, him or Byeol, either way, he was happy. What else could Choi San ask for other than his two favourite girls in the world getting along?

Genre: PURE FLUFF

Warnings: NONE

Word Count: 2.1K

Est. Read Time: 10 min

Networks: @cromernet @k-labels

A/N: No- see @edenesth 💗 did this to me. This timestamp is for my saviour, the one and only @edenesth 💗 , like we should totally blame San for posting such domestic core pics- no wonder we get all delulu- PS THIS COLLAB HAS ME DYING

@edenesth version: [12.58]PM

"San?" she called out, walking down the hallway as she paused in front of the wall-length mirror, fixing her hair once more and checking out her outfit, simple, crisp and a dash of purple. Very different from her usual office attire, very colourful too- after all the first time he had seen her she was in a plain suit, a white dress shirt and slacks, running around collecting printouts for the upcoming spring magazine. That also being the first time he had realised how much he loved the word 'simple'. Okay, fine, perhaps she was dressed on the softer side, but was it so bad to play cute for once? Especially, if she was doing so to please her man. Call it her way of simping.

Truth be told, she wasn't even sure if he was going to show up, after their extensive tour, when he had mentioned the upcoming off days he was to get, she had suggested going to his home town to relax, leaving the city life for a while and although it pained her to know that she would be too busy with her own work at the office, also known as the company he too worked in, she wanted him to rest and relax away from the hustle bustle of his idol life, what she did not expect that after a week of his departure to Namhae, the very next weekend her fluff of a man would be ringing her doorbell in the late hours of the weekend.

"Byeol wanted to see you and so did I, I spent a week there and I'll spend a week here."

Was all he the dimpled man had made his way inside to the living room, opening the carrier to let Byeol out, the living room already a place of her liking. She had been here with San a couple of times; she had also been a very important part of their relationship. Especially on their third date where he had delicately brought up the topic, "Are you allergic to cats?"

"No, why?"

"Do you like cats?"

"Yeah, why?"

He never really answered her question that night, only smiled at her, leaning over the table to add more meat to her plate considering the late hours of the night, her hunger had distracted her from asking more questions, already too emotional at the thought of this angel of a man sacrificing his portion of protein for her - especially after grilling it so well. The only thing that did change was that the next morning she received around 400+ pictures of San's first love, Byeol.

The first time he had brought Byeol over, he was cautious and attentive, making sure both his girls were happy. He asked her cute questions all day- maybe she just found them cute because it was him, or perhaps it was because he was letting her in, into his domain, which is the little kitty roaming around the house.

"Can I put the litter here?"

"All your windows are locked right?"

"Do you mind if I keep the food bowl next to where we eat? She feels lonely otherwise."

"Can she sleep on your bed? I brought her cat mat just in case."

"Can we leave the bedroom door open a bit, so she can come and go without waking us up?"

He stopped when he realised, she wasn't even responding, panicking he looked up from the cat supplies. Maybe she felt like he was intruding or invading her privacy but was too afraid to tell him. Maybe bringing in Byeol was a big step he shouldn't have taken so quickly. What if she meant like she liked cats, at a normal level, like 'oh a cat.'  Not like cuddling them or baby-talking to them. Turning around his eyes scanned the room to spot her holding onto Byeol, carrying her like a baby and cooing at her. It was only then he realised how loud his cat was purring loud enough for it to echo in the silent room.

"Hmmm? You say something, Sannie?" she looked up from Byeol to him, eyes as curious as a cat's, hand resting on the cat's tummy, letting Byeol grab her hand with her soft paws. His heart felt as if it were about to burst out of his ribcage, running to her and landing on her palm, beating in it with an intensity that would borderline scare her. Licking his chapped lips the feline-eyed man shook his head, a genuine dimpled smile forming, one that would send thousands flipping with joy- or in her case have her gushing over it in solitude.

Thus, giving birth to a ritual, often he would spend his free days at his own home, sometimes calling her over, and gratefully his family welcomed her with open arms. On other occasions, he’d drop by to her apartment, bringing their 'daughter' with him.

She remembers the time Byeol had gotten sick. Unfortunately, San was busy that evening, and his parents were out of town so Byeol was to stay with her. Not an issue, at least it wasn't until the third night when San checked his phone after hours of practice late at night. He had decided to stay at the dorm, travelling would be more tiring she understood, but as the man checked his phone his heart almost stopped.

"Byeol is sick, she's vomiting. "

"I'm taking her to the vet."

"She's shivering."

"Okay, my car isn't working!"

'"I ran here, dw, made it in time, they're checking her."

"They say she has a fever, some bug?"

"They want to keep her overnight, idk I mean I can't just leave her here. She looked scared."

"I'm not leaving, but she's sedated. They say she'll be fine."

"San plz reply soon."

"San I'm scared."

Choi San had never run faster in his life he was sure of it, because the moment he burst into the 24/7 pet clinic his lungs were burning worse than a forest fire, his eyes red and blurry, the world around him extremely out of focus as he stumbled to the reception, about to take the patient's name but someone called him instead.

"San!"

His head snapped in her direction, running to her, enveloping her in a tight embrace, trying to calm her down as she began to shiver in his embrace, her words coming out with choked sobs. Hand pressed against her head, he rubbed her back up and down with the other one, looking through the glass window at his cat, sprawled on the table with an IV tube attached.

"It's gonna be okay, it'll be okay."

It took almost an hour to calm her down, he had tried to convince her to go home, she had work the next day but she refused, instead blaming herself for Byeol's health. Though the doctor had assured him it was not because of her incompetency, but the cat food, the cat food Sanhad insisted on changing. Once she found that out, Choi San had to get an earful the remainder of the night, “How can you- I told you not to do that!”

“Babe I- “Don’t babe me! She doesn’t even like salmon! She prefers tuna.”

After the wonderful argument, that through the eyes of an elderly couple waiting for their dog looked like a cute domestic quarrel, came to an end. San remembered sitting next to her sulking as she gave him the silent treatment, though a few moments later her head had landed against his shoulder with a thump, followed by her snores. That night Choi San had realised two things, firstly that he was in love with her and secondly, she probably loved Byeol more than she loved him.

Hence, today they were supposed to go to a cute cafe she had been eying for a month. They had planned on taking Byeol out but since the cat had decided to stay up all night, running around the apartment she was tired today. San had just mocked her, claiming that Byeol knew it was Valentine's Day so she wanted her parents to spend the day together. However, he later countered himself with a, "Though each day is like Valentine's Day with you, love."

Clearing her throat, she dusted off the invisible dust, adjusting her cardigan before making her way to the living room once more, calling out to her significant other, "San! I'm ready to let's go." though his lack of response was confusing her, so she called out again, "Sannie where are you-" her word stopped as soon as she turned the corner, into her living room, spotting a giant starfish sprawled out on the wooden floor. Next to him was Byeol, staring down at him, San's hand pressed against his cat's back in a soothing manner, but she knew what he was doing, making sure his cat didn't move because Byeol was not only pretty but smart too, she knew what her dad was doing.

Sighing she walked closer to him, standing next to Byeol who looked up at her, blinking slowly, before turning back to stare at San. She stared down at him, arms crossed before slowly poking his side with her foot, watching him pretend and stretch, groaning as he cracked an eye open, "Oh~ you're finally done?"  

"Mhmmm." Raising a questioning brow she nodded, "And?"

"Oh, I mean" Sitting up he stretched his legs, much similar to how Byeol would do so, "Byeol said her mommy was taking so long in the shower that we fell asleep, waiting for you…" his words trailed off when he turned to look at her, his breath hitching at the sight of the soft pastels, the pretty purple, purple really was her colour. Clearing his throat he quickly got up, standing to talk in front of her, merely a few inches away from her as he stretched his arms over his head before casually bringing them down, not so discreetly wrapping them around her and slamming her into him, smirking when she whined.

"The dress will wrinkle Sannie." she tried to push him away but he pulled her closer, leaning down to peck the tip of her nose, "You can't look like a pretty pixie and not expect me to hold onto you like Captain Hook kidnapped Tinkerbell."

"What an analogy."  she mumbled, letting him squeeze her into his warm chest, feeling the vibrations as he chuckled, "You look very pretty…I like your cardigan."

"Thanks, your mom gave it to me last birthday. " Her arms wrapped around his waist, letting him gently sway them from side to side.

“Who do you think chose it?” he smiled down at her, finally meeting her with a gentle kiss, one she savoured greatly, hands fisting his shirt as his palm pressed against her back before slowly trailing down, though their little moment came to halt sudden when a high-pitched squeak caught their ears. Pulling back, she looked down at Byeol, frowning before turning to look at San, “Why isn’t she wearing her leash?” “What do you mean?”

Tutting at her gorgeous idiot of a man, she pulled away completely before crouching to grab the cat and walking towards the door where they hung coats and her leash. “I said we’re going to the café.”

“I know,” he mumbled scratching his head, a bit confused as to what she meant, “I got a booking for it, no? Why are you – we can’t take her there and it's almost time for our reservation.”

“Aww~ don’t listen to daddy, Byeol” San watched her talk to his cat instead of him, watching her put on Byeol’s harness and leash, somewhat impressed because Byeol never let him do that this easily, though the next statement had him blushing mad. “He’s a bit slow, handsome, but slow, he forgot we’re going to a cat café, you’ll have fun there~ Won’t you baby~”

Letting out a hearty chuckle he closed his eyes and shook his head in disbelief, of course she’d come up with this idea on her own. She had mentioned earlier how leaving Byeol home wasn’t fun especially when the cat was their ‘child’ and leaving their child unattended was cruel. He watched the cat jump off the table and onto the floor, meowing up at his lover who sent Byeol a flying kiss, San didn’t know what heaven was, but if anyone were to ask him to describe what it looked like, the view was right in front of him.

“Any kisses for me?” He asked walking up to his two girls, who were almost out the door, pausing when she winked at him, “depends big boy. Might need to send our baby back home for a while if that’s what you want.” And that had the man shivering with excitement running after her as the two made it to the elevator, already planning on asking someone or one of the guys to watch his little baby for the night, so he could have a night with his kitten.

“Don’t worry, I think that can be arranged, kitten.”

Taglist: @edenesth @mlysalt @spooo00oky @cereal-simp @yessa-vie

[plotdealersstuff]

Hello!! That Chan pic with the baby is just sjdjsjdj and the entire video, lord. I was wondering if u could write something like thar pls, needing fluff dad Chan 🥹

OMG YES. ABSOLUTELY . Also, golden star for you for being my first request ⭐️

Let's see what I come up with.

Warnings: Dad Bangchan. Fluff, extreme domestic fluff.

Big hugs

Ever since Chan came back to work after his hiatus, he promised he would come back home earlier. In the end, he had to come back not only to his house, but to his home. It wasn't just you waiting for him, now there was a tiny little human being that would wait for him.

However, Chan's promise was forgotten that day. It was already 10pm and he was nowhere to be seen. The apple didn't fall far from the tree, for Daesung refused to sleep for the entire day. No nap time, and he was definitely far from falling asleep anytime soon. He's definitely his son, you thought when the tiny almost two year old refused closing his eyes.

Walking around the place, singing, showing him toys, begging, anything worked. Instead, his tears kept flowing and so did your stress. His diaper was clean, he ate his dinner, he didn't seem to be hurt, the thought of taking him to the hospital faded when he finally sat still on the floor and started playing with his toys, and if he was not sleeping, at least he have you some peaceful minutes to a quick trip to the bathroom.

Chan finally arrived home, quietly. He smiled when he saw the boy giving his entire attention to his tiny, tiny guitar, pulling the nylon strings one by one, thank you uncle Han for the present.

He hid behind the wall, just showing his face when he finally spoke, calling the baby's attention.

"Hello there"

His dimples appeared on his cheeks and his eyes became smaller thanks the smiling expression. The baby quickly turned around, and started moving his legs and arms in an attempt of getting up.

The older man left his hiding and went straight to him, kneeling as to pick him up. Daesung started giggling right away, gripping onto Chan's shirt without hesitation.

"Your eyes are so red, had you been crying, hm? No, don't cry! Let's whipe those eyes, yeah? Don't cry, I've got you, ok?."

He said with a downward smile, rubbing his nose against the chubby cheek after cleaning the dry tears on his cheeks, making you melt right away when you appeared in the room once again, leaning in the doorframe for a few seconds while Chan didn't notice you.

"Two good looking boys and I look like if I'm back from a camping night" you said in between giggles.

"Ah, baby" Chan laughed as well, walking towards your way and kissing your shortly as a hello. "I'm sorry, yeah? I knew I said I'd arrive early and-" you cut his words.

"Watch him while I take a quick shower. I need it. Then I'll forgive you."

"Sounds like a fair deal"

Chan agreed, and his attention went back to Daesung. He lifted him in his arms in swift motions, the baby giggling and kicking his legs whenever Chan would lift him up in the air, and then back down using his mouth to immitate the sound of a rocket. Their tiny game continued for a few minutes, until Chan took him back to the bedroom.

"Shall we put you on your pj's, yeah?" He said with a kind of high pitched voice, "yeah, you need to be in your pj's. Is late and you gotta sleep, ok?" He told him as if he'd get a solid answer in return.

"I wrote so many verses for you today, probably a bit cheesy but yeah. Ah, you're gonna hate me when you're fifteen aren't you"

Chan giggled while he was changing Daesung into his onesie. He leaned forward, gently tickling the boy's belly, and the multiple "nom noms" on his neck, hands and belly didn't take long in appear, making the baby giggle and kick his feet at his dad's attention.

You had no idea how time you spent taking your quick shower, but after a long day after barely eating, constantly trying to calm down Daesung's crying, you really needed some time alone, and you knew Chan had it all covered outside.

However, when you got out the silence made you worried. Usually, Chan would be singing, or holding conversations with no replies back other than babbles, or music playing in the background. But now? Silence. Pure, and absolute silence.

The dim light of your bedroom made you walk towards it, the scene making you feel like sit down in that same spot and cry.

An unsual, asleep shirtless Chan under the sheets, accompanied by the image you wanted to see the entire day. Daesung finally, finally asleep. And not only asleep. He was soundly asleep using Chan's chest as bed, his tiny hands holding onto him while Chan's arms were perfectly wrapped around him a very, very big hug.

You walked towards them very cautiously, keeping your hand on Daesung's back for brief seconds as you leaned forward to kiss his head, repeating the gesture but this time on Chan's temple. Apparently, someone was refusing to sleep without his dad.

And you understood your son perfectly, you couldn't fall asleep easily when Chan wasn't there, how could you, if not wrapped in his arms?

[lowkeyrobin]

Curious about MCYT with a partner that's usually calm and collected, suddenly being super angry at someone bothering them, maybe almost fighting the person brothering them? (Btw i really love your writing, it's super fun to read!!)

ooooo okay !! I see the vision, hopefully I pulled it off LMAO ; also thank you so much!! that means so much to me, I feel like my writings really corny and dumb sometimes and too boring so thank you, it means a lot to me 🫶🫶🫶

MCYT ; fire in the twilight

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, & quackity

warnings ; language, talk about SA/perverts/men being weird

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

you're a very calm person

but when you get mad you get maddddd

he's surprised you haven't beaten the shit out of him yet

someone was being kinda weird at a meet and greet at vidcon and you were already stressed and overstimulated from taking pictures with everyone and signing merch and youtooz (guys should I try buying the slimecicle plushie? I don't wanna support a bad company but he's so cute :()

someone took a picture of you stretching where your shirt lifted a bit and showed off your midsection

Tommy saw and immediately called them out while you were taking a solo pic w a fan

when you heard him you just froze and nearly yelled

"Hey, please delete that. out of your trash too, seriously"

"Dude, fucking delete that shit. that's not okay, actually."

you end up nearly beating the shit out of the person....

then comes the Twitch apology 😭😭

you nearly went into a spiral explaining that it's never okay to take photos of ppl without them knowing, no matter when or where

he feels really bad for you but you're able to sit down and calm down to your usual self 🫶🫶🫶

RANBOO

you were getting fed up with how people were treating you and them online and just kinda lost it on stream

your chat was filled with assholes wondering where people were and why you hadn't publicly talked to them in over 12 hours and what your plans with everything were etc etc

"Dude, please stop. all of you. for weeks this has been going on, stop putting me and ranboo on these pedestals and expecting shit from us. seriously, it's horrible for both of us and our health. if you wanna see Tubbo or Tommy, go watch them! they're both live right now. Seriously, it's not funny and it's not gonna make us pump out more content and do what you want. we're people too, we get sad and burned out and tired. eventually content creation gets unfun and you won't get what you want. behave yourselves and do better. we don't owe you anything"

ranboo literally tears up a bit because he was watching the stream in the other room and could hear you, and you were visibly tearing up

you could feel your hands shaking and you just kind of ended the stream because you were so worked up and didn't wanna do it anymore

he immediately wrapped you in a hug because you were just so angry

gave you a pillow to punch and left you be for a while

you're usually very calm but your emotions exploded when you were bottling it up too much

they understood that but their heart bled for you after that, especially w all the hate that came from it :/

FREDDIE BADLINU

people were throwing things at you on stage during Tommy's live show

you played it off as jokes and were fine with jt because they were doing it sneakily in a fun way, roses, kandi bracelets, plushies etc, until someone threw their bra at you

"Okay, can we not?" You scrunch your eyebrows, looking into the crowd as you throw the bra back into the crowd. "That's fucked, don't ever do that again, learn event etiquette. never throw your bras on a fucking stage, it's weird and disgusting"

Freddie looks over at you, standing next to Tommy, giving you a "Holy shit are you okay?" look while also looking for the culprit trying to get their bra back

Tommy instantly stopped the show to reprimand the person

meanwhile Freddie was whispering to you to make sure you were okay

you were pissed but put your big kid pants on and continued the show

you apologized on Twitter after the show because you were really loud and kind of humiliated the people but you were justified with the situation

the people (and the girl who owned the bra) apologized and the situation was over

Freddie feels so bad bc you're so calm and laid back but ppl always have to test your limits :(

NIKI NIHACHU

people were filming you two out in public and taking pictures and you kinda lost it that they weren't listening to niki, telling them to kindly stop

"can you stop taking pictures? she's uncomfortable, please stop." you speak in a stern voice

the fans just like stare at you in shock because you're usually very calm and chill and you basically yelled at them (you reprimanded them because one it's the law two you both didn't want to be disturbed on your walk)

you're in a miserable mood the whole way home because yk how twitters gonna act when they see that

you quickly make a statement before any video leaks or anything, addressing the situation and apologizing to the strangers

ppl got ur back tho and showed support considering they were filming you on a nice walk without consent

she feels so bad seeing you get upset about it and feels like it's her fault

lots of reassuring her that it's never her fault and you're always happy to defend her and you don't mind getting a little loud to defend her

ALEX QUACKITY

you got really upset with someone harassing a bunch of creators during the qsmp Brazil meetup

"Dude, leave them alone. they don't want to take a picture with you and they don't owe you anything! you're being creepy to all those women right now, do you not realize that or something?"

you were furious seeing that many on your friends, even while on a trip, couldn't just not be harassed by men

the weirdo scurried off but you were literally this close to fighting the fucker

you were seething dude, like, shaking because you were so astonished someone could actually be that pushy and that much of a dick over a picture

Alex wrapped you in a tight hug and just squeezed you until you calmed down while the poor people who were harassed had reassured you that they were okay and that they appreciated and thanked you for standing up for them

Alex genuinley apologizes because the way you reacted just proved to him that you definitely are calm and laid back but when you got angry, you got angry

he feels so bad because you had to stand up for your friends and watch them be harassed and shit

[flowerxbunnie]

idk if you did it already but i neeeed your version of the nsfw alphabet ( matt or chris idrc i just need it ) 😩😩

NSFW Alphabet

Matthew Sturniolo

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT OKAY WITH SMUT OR ARE A MINOR

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s an angel when it comes to aftercare! He rubs your back (or your legs if you bounced on him for a while) and def makes sure you get cleaned up, he’s deathly afraid of you getting a UTI 😂

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part on himself is his waist, we’ve ALLLL seen the way this man loves a slutty little slightly cropped shirt. He knows he looks good

His favorite on you is your back. He loves the way he can see the two lines of muscle running down your spine and the dip in the middle as he’s hitting it from the back. Also the way he can stick his thumbs into the little dimples at the bottom 😏

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

This man is OBSESSEDDDD with seeing you swallow his cum. He thinks it’s the hottest thing ever when you stick your tongue out to show him you swallowed every drop

If you’re not feeling down for swallowing it, he’ll go for whatever you want!

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

….we all know at this point. This man is RUNNING through smutty fics and constantly getting ideas 😈 has a whole folder full of his favs to refer back to

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not a super crazy body count, but he for sure knows what he’s doing and makes sure you’re pleased

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He loves to watch you bounce on him, he likes that he can see your pretty face and can feel in control when he grabs your hips to guide you, or be more submissive when you hold his hands down

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He definitely makes jokes when the time is right but he likes to keep it serious for the most part!

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Kinda like his stubble, he’ll let it grow out for a bit and then give it a nice trim. Never fully bald down there though, he doesn’t like the way it looks 😂

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He LOVES to fuck, but when you make love.. he’s going all out. Throwing out so many compliments, caressing every inch of your skin, lighting candles, picking a playlist of songs. He usually does all the work when he’s feeling lovey dovey too 🥹

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Oh this man JERKS it. When he’s not with you he will literally call you and beg for you to guide him through it. And if you’re busy you already know he’s going into a hidden folder with plenty of pics and videos of you!

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Call me crazy butttt… I think matt would call you his puppy ✋🏻 no elaboration needed

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He lovesssss car sex, especially road head. He loves finding spots to park at and bend you over the hood 😇

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

For some reason he’s really turned on when you cop an attitude with him. He loves to be the one to put you back in your place

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Piss/shit 🚫🚫 he would literally throw up if you even jokingly asked

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Maybe a hot take.. but I think he prefers getting head. Obviously he would never turn down the opportunity to rub his stubble between your thighs 😈 but he loves seeing you work your hardest on your knees to please him

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Both! He knows the perfect times to switch up his pace to drive you crazyyy. But if he had to pick he would go for slow but deep, rough strokes

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He prefers to take his time and make it a good experience, but he would never turn down a quickie! He loves when you drag him off into a bathroom because you can’t hold out until you get home

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

For most things! He’s pretty open minded and is always looking for new ideas and ways to please you/himself

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

1 😂 2 on a good night. He uses so much energy teasing and edging you and when he finally does cum, he is SPENT

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He keeps a bunch of pretty vibes, whips, handcuffs etc to use on you! He doesn’t really prefer them for himself but occasionally will let you hold a bullet vibrator against him while you suck him off 😇😇

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh he is SUCH a tease. He’s always pushing you to your limits. He loves to hear you beg and plead

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not a screamer by any means but he makes sure you know when he’s feeling good. He groans and pants a lot, and sometimes a moan will slip out and he always blushes a tiny bit hehe

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He LOVES when you take him lingerie shopping with you. He gets to help you pick out what he’s gonna tear off of you later 😇 good luck in the fitting room btw!

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Above average by a little, but it’s nice and thick, plenty enough to fill you up. He knows how to work it 🤓

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

This man is a freakkkkk. At least 4 times a week if not everyday.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He likes to make sure you feel well taken care of afterwards so he does his best to stay awake and make sure you’re all good before he cleans himself and dozes off!

Taglist: @lustfulslxt @whotfisade @soursturniolo @recklesssturniolo @lxvlysworld @chrisolivia4l @kiarastromboli @mattnchrisworld @cupidsword @kvtie444 @xplrfear @knowingnothingnoel

[fruityrituals]

inked & marked

swiss ghoul x fem reader

summary: swiss acts on his feelings about a new tattoo you got dedicated to the ghouls

cw: explicit, unprotected sex, breeding, bondage, breath play, oral, blood, mask kink

(18+) / MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Ghost Masterlist

(divider below from @cafekitsune) | pics above from pinterest

Today is the first time in a while that you have a lot of alone time. The ghouls and papa have been on a break from tour for a couple months now and today they've started doing practices since tour starts again in a couple weeks. You had no idea what to do with your day without the multi-ghoul. After cleaning your’s and Swiss’ room, doing some chores around the ministry, and giving yourself bangs, you look at yourself in the mirror after a shower and look over all your tattoos and decide that its time for a new one. The last few months, you have been thinking about getting a tattoo dedicated to the current Ghost era since they would be changing a lot of things soon and you want to have some type of permanent memory since you met Swiss in their current era. You get a tattoo of the ghouls helmet on your hip and once you get home, you strip down staying in just your black lace thong and bra with your knee high socks and laid in bed listening to music waiting for Swiss to get back. You know your ghoul and know that this tattoo will get some type of reaction out of him.

Swiss gets home about an hour later walking through the door of your room still dressed in his helmet and stage clothing as he says “i really need a bath i’m very sweaty and smelly and i-”. He pauses when he sees you in the bed in your lace. He quickly shuts the door behind him and quietly walks over to the bed. You were laying on your stomach with headphones on and reading a book so you don’t hear him come in. He observes your body as he starts to undo his vest, then tilts his head when his eyes reach the new tattoo. When he notices you don’t know he’s there, he lets his tail come around, caress your tattoo, then the tip of his tail slaps your ass. You jolt and turn around quickly looking up at Swiss with a hand over your chest “you scared the shit out of me!”. Swiss points at the tattoo as he keeps his eyes on it and says “whats that?”. You grin looking from him, to the tattoo, then back up at him “a little memory of the era i met you in, also to show my love for all of you guys. you like it?”. Swiss grins under his helmet as he takes off his vest and starts undoing his shirt taking that off too leaving him in hit helmet, pants and boots “undo my pants” he says as he looks down at you on the bed. You quickly crawl over to the edge of the bed in front of him as you run your hands down his torso first then undid his belt. Swiss was already bulging beneath the fabrics and it doesn’t take you long to eagerly undo his pants letting his dick spring out. You bite your lip looking up at him as you watch his chest rise and fall, “suck”. You grinned wrapping a hand around his length and place your other hand on his thigh as you spit on his tip before you start stroking his cock. He immediately moans knocking his head back as his tail comes around and wraps around your neck. You swirl your tongue on the tip and then take him into your mouth hitting the back of your throat each time as he moans out “fuck, such a good girl” as his tail tightens around your neck. You guys have safe words and gestures if you ever need him to stop, but if you couldn’t speak, your gesture was tapping his thighs, so he puts both your hands in his thighs as he wraps your hair in his fists and thrusts into your mouth taking all of him until you’re gagging on him. His tail wraps tighter around your neck until the edge of your vision starts tunneling and your head becomes hazy. After a couple more thrusts and his tail tightening, tap both his thighs with your hands 3 times and he loosens his tail and releases your head quickly pulling you up into his arms. He kisses your neck as you catch your breath and let you vision come back to you.

Once he hears your breathing evened out, he shoves you on your back onto the bed and quickly rips off your panties. You adjust yourself so your hips are half way off the edge of the bed as you watch him kick off his boots and the rest of his clothes, he then pulls off his helmet and he had a smirk on his face as he places the helmet on your head and secures the buckle under the chin since it was too big for you. You grin up at him then bite your lip as he gets on his knees beside the bed. His tail comes around and runs along your tattoo on your hip and around your pelvis then to your clit making you jolt and let out a soft whine. Swiss lines up his cock to your entrance slowly pushing into you as you drop your head back letting out a relieved moan. He grips your hips with both hands making you flinch as he sinks inside of you all the way to the hilt. Swiss only give you 10 seconds to adjust before he grunts and starts thrusting inside of you. He takes one hand off of the tattooed hip trailing his hand up and down your body then up to your neck wrapping his hand around it. You start to sweat already with the helmet on and you cant see him that well because it doesn’t fit you right. His tail is rubbing against your sensitive bud as he thrusts into you “you look so hot with my helmet on baby while you’re taking my cock like such a good girl”. His praises and the pace of his cock ramming into you combined with his tail working your clit sends your head tilting back causing you to arch your back and moan out his name.

Swiss wraps his arms around you as he pulls you to his chest and stands up from the ground while still buried deep inside of you. He sit on the bed putting his back against the headboard and settles you into his lap. You readjust yourself as you place your hands on the headboard above his head and start bouncing in his lap. Swiss lets out a whiny moan as he undoes the strap of the helmet and take it off of you “i need to kiss you and see your beautiful fucking face” he wraps one hand on the back of your neck and starts kissing you roughly as you both moan on each other. You pull away from the kiss after a few moments and look down at him and find him looking up at you with such lustful eyes and you say “so you like my new tattoo then?” You grin at him as he takes one of your nipples into his mouth sucking on it then bit it softly looking up at you through his lashes before pulling his mouth away and says “fucking love it baby and i love you” he kisses your neck and you moan out “i love you too” then you both kiss each other roughly again. You feel your orgasm sneaking up and he knows it as he feels your walls tighten around him. He shakes his head and pulls out of you causing you to gasp. You glare at him “what the fuck Swiss!” he grins as he puts his hand over your mouth and says “not yet baby” and removes his hans from your mouth and kisses you gently before moving you off his lap “hands and knees now”

You quickly move onto your hands and knees on the bed and he gets behind you. He leans over you as he pushes your face down into the bed leaving your ass in the air, then he takes your hands putting them behind your back and his tail comes around and secures your wrists together. Your heart is racing and your squirming and dripping on the bed waiting for him to absolutely rail you from behind. Swiss leans down running his tongue up your back, then he sinks his teeth into your shoulder biting you drawing blood. Your legs tighten together as you squirm a bit and he licks the blood from your shoulder then slaps your ass “spread your legs”. You let out a yelp and flinch as you keep your legs together liking to push him over the edge. He leans down and presses his lips to your ear “did you hear me? i told you to spread your legs and i wont ask again”. That sends shivers down your spine straight to your core as you reply “make me”. Swiss lets out a low chuckle as he sits back up and slaps your ass with both hands then leans down and sinks his teeth into your hip right above your fresh tattoo. You gasp letting out a whine into the bed as you give in and spread your legs for him and he replies with a ���good fucking girl” then thrusts into you without warning sending a loud moan passed your lips as you bite the bedsheets. He starts thrusting into you at a harsh pace. The sting from him slapping your ass, the pain from the bites he made combined with his tail restraining your wrist and his dick slamming into you makes you feel like you are about to scream and come undone. He grips your hair with one hand pulling your head back as he continues his pace. You start to tighten around him and he moans at the feeling as he wraps a hand around to you neck and pulls you up flush against his chest as he thrusts up into you like that. His hand tightens around your neck as he whispers into your ear “i’m going to fill you up baby”. You nod quickly letting out a whine as you grip his arm and you quickly come undone and he follows close behind you as you both moan out and he empties deep inside of you as his thrusts become sloppy. He leans back on his heels as he wraps one arm around your torso and keeps the other hand around your neck as he kisses your lips roughly and keeps you there for a few more moments before slowly pulling out of you with a groan.

Swiss scoops you up right away carrying you to the bathroom setting you on the toilet as he starts filling the tub with warm water. As the tub fills, he walks over and stands in front of you cupping your cheeks and leans down kissing your lips very slow and sweet. You both smile on each others lips as he whispers “i love you” and you reply with and “i love you too”. He helps you into the tub once its filled and he sits behind you with his legs on either side. It always made you chuckle when he takes a bath with you because he was too big for it with his knees sticking out of the water above the edge of the tub. He takes a wash cloth wrapping his arms around you as he gently washed your body for you, then your hair. You return the favor to him and once you’re both out the shower and in bed, he walks over to you with some ointment for your tattoo. He kisses your ghoul tattoo then applies the healing ointment on it gently. Once he gets into bed, he pulls you flushed against his chest and you both sleep tangled with each other.

[hidefdoritos]

Project Hiatus: Vest

I've had this vest for maybe a year now. I've put some good energy into it so far: unpicking and hand-stitching the zipper so it lays flat, removing the back waist elastic so it fits, putting the "Renewable energy? I'm a big fan!" backpatch on, a few collar studs, shoulder buckles, etc.

I've never loved the way the hem sits. It's just higher in the back. Every time I move, it feels like I'm showing off all my stretch marks on the spot where a tramp stamp would be if I were a cooler person. Also, whatever shirt I'm wearing sticks straight out from under it. You can see the edge of my dino skeleton sweater in the pic.

I decided I was gonna try to add a cool flounce to the bottom. I work manual labor, so I can't do a full pirate-coat-skirt situation without getting maybe caught in a conveyor belt, but a few inches should be fine.

I cut out this long curved strip of fabric. It took so much finagling to get as curved of a piece as I could out of my existing fabric. (Some of you can already see it's not gonna be curved enough.)

I did the usual: pin and hem the bottom edge, then use my diamond stitch like a serging stitch on the side that's gonna be hidden.

Huge shoutout to past me for marking a mending point with a huge safety pin. I fixed it real quick while my machine was still on diamond stitch.

Then I pinned the ruffle on, right sides together, and tried it on, only to be sorely disappointed.

I don't like this at all. I don't like the weird petal-looking situation at the front. I don't like the way the back does nothing. Basically, I have enough waist-hip differential that I need a much more curved flounce to make it actually pop up off my hips.

So, we're going back to the drawing board for this one. At least I tried it on before sewing! I unpinned it all and I'm gonna try wearing the vest as-is for a few days. Maybe I'll find out I can live with it after all, or maybe I'll find a better solution.

Wish me luck!

[worldismyne]

Fixing Up Store-Bought Cosplay! (Miu)

I impulse bought this lot of DRV3 cosplays.

People on the DR amino voted for Miu to get fixed up first so I'm going to show you some tips on how to make this cosplay look a lil more like the spirites.

First the diagnosis...

Not great. The belts give me mad AoT cosplayer flashbacks. These things are cheap, sewn backwards and were already falling apart. Also don't understand why belts weren't just sewn to the costume???

So the first thing I did was buy actual leather harnesses and gloves. Amazon has belt harnesses that are clearly what informed her design without the anime physics involved. The new ones won't fall down.

Next was the sad tiny bow.

2.5 inch satin ribbon, I just stared at a Jojo Siwa bow until I could figure out to make the bow part bigger since the ribbon was the same width as the one I had. I wrapped the outter piece around nice and tight and did a few wip stiches to keep it in place. Anytime you're working with a ribbon, don't forget to use a lighter to melt the cut ends to keep them from fraying.

BIG

Next the goggles. I used spray glue and fabric to cover the lenses (I'll later put a layer of modge podge over it to give it some gloss.) Then hot glues gold rings to it. Always check remanent bins at craft stores for little things like this.

They're supposed to be little lenses, but it's all about the illusion. I found some gold buttons later to mimic hinges.

The wig I left braided and let bake in my car for a week (an easy way to heat set wigs in the desert). This trick might work with a steamer, but the goal is to let the braids (and positioning them in waves) to both curl the wig and keep them in those little tendril ropes. The bangs were completely unstyled, so i was able to cut and tease them in relation to my face shape <3

The socks were the easiest fix. Cut off the toes and turned them into leg warmers. They go down boots, so it doesn't matter if they're real socks. What matters is they scrunch up above the boots.

Here's the finished product! With the belts being adjustable, it made it easier to fit everything to my body. It also helped the costume look less baggy and let me shove the top of the skirt under the waist belt to make it look like a mini skirt without sewing! The arm belts art attached to the shirt with two whipstiches. That way, I can still easily remove it to wash the shirt.

I already owned the boots and they're in her color palette, so lil bit of artistic liberties there. I feel they work tho and I'm really trying not to buy anymore cosplay shoes (they're the most expensive and people rarely include them in pics at con.) Same for the necklaces. I have a few barbed wire necklaces on the way, but it might be too much now that the belts connect the neck like they're supposed to.

Overall I'm really happy, even if I went over budget thanks to the belts.

Retail, what I got from the cosplay lot for Miu would have been around $78 new (This includes the wig and goggles).

After buying new accessories, I spent a total of $69.32 So I consider that a win!

The next will be Kaede............ If you know, you know.

[sterekchub]

Hi!! I LOVE your blog and I was wondering if you could talk more about Derek feeding up Stiles and Lydia? I haven’t been able to get that outta my head since you posted about it !!!

YES I see Stiles and Lydia getting together first- but Lydia is too smart not to realize Stiles is in love with Derek too. And it's not in a jealous, cheating way - it's more that Stiles has so much love and protective energy to give, and god knows after losing so much family and pack- Derek needs people around him who care for him. Lydia might not have the immediate "head over heels" love like Stiles- but she respects Derek and can see that with time and effort- he is absolutely someone she can love. As for weight gain - can see- a few different ways it pans out (I also always have this idea in my head too often) 1) It takes Derek so much time to realize they're trying to date him. And Stiles and Lydia are as obvious in their courtship as possible. Movie nights, constantly taking him out to dinners, stopping by the Sheriff's station or his mechanic shop to bring him breakfast and lunch.... They both take "best way to a man's stomach is his heart" as their motto. Only Derek is as trim as ever and Lydia and Stiles are the ones piling on the weight. Maybe the sexual frustration of "we are trying to hard to sleep with you but don't want to push" on movie nights where they've eaten probably a pound of butter and a pound of popcorn each. Or at the restaurant when they've both had too much wine and are overindulging to keep themselves from blurting out "Date us already!" When Derek does finally realize what's happening...he's very into returning the favor and does his best to spoil Lydia and Stiles with constant meals and sweets. Loves that he knows their favorite bakeries or knows Stiles fast food order or Lydia's guilty pleasures. 2) The original idea I had with Derek and PTSD. AS he falls asleep, or maybe isn't paying attention when they're sitting together on the couch, and absentmindly his hand brushes across Stiles back or will put his hand on Lydia's thigh and he suddenly starts panicking, thinking he's back with Kate.

He's in therapy and it's...helping but he gets frustrated with the lack of progress and with the lack of casual touches or struggle he has with intimacy in his relationship with both of them. Their solution - Kate was a skinny bitch, so why not plump up a bit so Derek isn't reminded so much of her? Derek goes from "you shouldn't need to do this for me" to "no one has cared about me enough to do something like that" and somehow ends at the "I've never been more attracted to you." and from there they both tumble headfirst into Derek feeding them every chance he gets. He LOVES the contrast- Stiles and Lydia approaching being twice his size, wider than they are tall and Derek never thinks of Kate anymore when he's putting a hand on Stiles' backroll or running his hand across Lydia's rounded middle. 3) The absolute smut version of no reason other than Derek being the Alpha taking care of his 2 mates and he's going to make SURE everyone can see how round and well-cared for they are. Going to werewolf symposiums or pack events, Stiles stretching out the stupid-funny T-shirts he won't get rid of, belly hanging a few inches over the waistband of his pants, contrasting Lydia in her impeccable but skin-tight dresses that show off every new roll and curve. Stiles seems like a total fast food junkie- Derek brings home fast food bags so often Stiles doesn't even see it as a meal anymore, just a snack.... Lydia with a sweet tooth and has the "few glasses of wine and chocolate" leaving her a little tipsy and bloated, stomach stretching out her skirts and dresses.... Both of them constantly teasing Derek - sending pictures of themselves out to eat. Or pics of their kitchen table covered in food with "5 minutes and we start without you."

[nickgerlich]

Size Matters

The way we shop continues to evolve, but in some regards, it’s also a case of what goes around, comes around. Funny how that happens.

More than a century ago, if you lived out of town, you purchased pretty much everything from a catalog, from clothes to even your house. Sears and Montgomery Ward both sold “house kits” that, once delivered, had to be assembled much like an IKEA bookshelf. Just harder.

But even in more recent years, companies like Sears, JC Penney, and Montgomery Ward also issued an annual catalog chock full of the latest fashions. You had to make your size selection with fingers crossed. It was a crapshoot at best. And in a nod to nostalgia, J. Crew just announced they are reviving their catalog, seven years after retiring it.

Now consider e-commerce, which is basically just an online catalog. As much as people squirm and put up resistance to buying clothing online, they probably did it without question from a paper catalog. But resistance is resistance, and savvy marketers know they have to figure out a way to overcome.

Which leads us to the topic of virtual try-on. That handy size chart you see a link away from any garment you’re pondering is evolving into interactive sizing video powered by AI. Google Shopping just announced it is expanding its virtual try-on from men’s and women’s tops to now include ladies’ dresses. Shoppers can select from real models of all shapes, sizes, and colors to get a better idea of how a garment will look. And since a dress necessarily has to fit in a lot more places than a shirt, there’s a lot more consumer hesitancy to overcome.

Interestingly, Google’s efforts lag substantially behind what Walmart has already done. Two years ago the company launched its version of an AI-powered look book, but with the added twist that shoppers could upload a photo of themself and then see the garment superimposed. Thus far, Walmart’s program is only available for women’s clothing.

Wait. Isn’t that just a bit creepy? I mean, at minimum you are sharing pics of yourself, but someone else could have twisted fun at your expense.

While I am dead certain I would pass if and when Walmart adds the feature in the Men’s department, I am good with Google’s version. After all, it still beats a static photo in a catalog or on a website. Photoshoots are expensive, models aren’t cheap, and if you’re trying to be size-inclusive, you have to show the garment on both big and small people. How much better it would be if we could just let AI do all of that modeling for us, right?

There will always be risk when buying clothes sight-unseen. Colors in print or on-screen may not be realistic, and can look vastly different against various skin tones. There is terrible inconsistency in sizing across brands, even within a brand if they outsource manufacturing across multiple providers. And then there’s the fact that you are uniquely you, with all of your proportionalities. One size fits all? You gotta be kidding.

Both Google and Walmart are not perfect…yet. While we may still be going through the motions of buying clothes from afar, just like 125 years ago, the shopping proposition has gotten better. Stir in some AI, and we’re getting much closer to a fitting room experience without actually having to do it.

I’m good with that, because as far as I’m concerned, that’s the last thing I want to be doing on a Saturday afternoon. Bring it, Google and Walmart. If it doesn’t fit, I’ll just return it.

Dr “Try This On For Size” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[tudooquequeriadizermasnaodisse]

18.04.24

As I said... everything I want to take a picture and send to you and I was holding back even when we were still talking..

Here the pic of my kitchen yesterday... after dinner.. before talking to you. I though it looked cute, even though my standard glass of water is there.. the things to hang at the wall also... the fact that I always use the corner for putting something non-kitchen related. I wanted to show the glass cutting boards again, have I sent a pic before?

Anyway, it's 12:21, I started to get a little anxious, I went to "family search" and noticed someone else had my grandma there... I started to want to merge the information in the website... went on the family group to get the "certidão de óbito" and other documents I have been gathering during the years about the family. I want to upload them there.

Ah, I also googled your name, I noticed that it is also the name of a city (all makes sense now, "from south fen" (in wikipedia it says the name appears to mean zuid-veen... Looks like the city is one of the best preserved medieval cities! I didn't know about that.

It's 12:33 and I started crying. I'm at home and it's playing this: https://open.spotify.com/track/3kzfOc03nK88EPZHbjH3l9?si=7daa45bffc6a45dc

How I feel so unempowered about how long it took to meet someone like you. How I feel so much time was lost and I'm so scared of life. And because of that I'm also so not wanting to waste time anymore.

It's 12:56, I just helped the intern with some stuff, he is good but I also feel good about I can help him with finding faster some issues he couldn't have imagined because how he would know an extra "enter" on the csv file would break the whole visualization on the website?

12:58 I'm hungry, I'll eat my pasta, but before I'll just say that yesterday I though to myself I was going to focus more on yoga, focus on the german (I want to get it better before focusing on Dutch... yeah, I still think I'll learn Dutch!), and then there is the BIM chapter. I also though about producing some images to sell shirts in amazon, and writing short books to sell in amazon as well. I'm looking for different streams of income, and instead of writing things for free, start writing things that I can sell myself. I'm also considering to use social media to earn money, but I'm not sure yet with which focus. That might be something you might be completely against it (and I understand... one can stalk so easily....)... Anyway, it's already 13:02 and I'm hungry! So eet smakelijk!

It's 14:55 and I'm hungry again. I'm thinking about having some pão de queijo. As you might have noticed, also very focused on other stuff. But I kinda found this, which I though it was interesting. Very unrelated, but it made me go after the origins of my grandma's name "Hermengarda" and apparently the origin is germanic. According to Wikipedia it comes from the words "ermen/irmin," meaning "whole, universal" and "gard" meaning "enclosure, protection". And the Ermengarde "of" Zutphen is one of the historical women with that name. The picture below is just the list of my contributions on the family search, but so you see both names at the same time.

15:15, no I'm not doing nothing today... I need to close everything, go for a walk, then back and try to get something done, my mind is just so far away from work today.... maybe it would have helped to actually go to work today.

Still here, cause I can't stop thinking about you. And when I think about you and see things around, I want to show them to you. You know how in the beginning of the text I said I was not showing every tiny little single detail to you... well... I took some pictures when I washed the hair on monday 15.04... that day we started talking and I ended up not drying my hair... I don't think you have ever seen it without drying to be a little more straight or styled to be curled... well.. that's how it was looking like:

It only looks like this after drying... as soon as I sleep, it loses the volume a little. The bottom part is straighter cause is more damaged... anyway... that is the amount of things that can go through my head in a short period of time and I could talk about every single one of them with you.

and I also read about this, which I'm not sure what to think...

It's 17:52, I had planned to go to the gym earlier but Manuel called. We spent one hour in a call but it was good. He got some feedback from clients on why they don't like some other tools like Amenti. Then he was wanting to have some sort of thing direct in Arcgis (Hello BlueBrown!) so I ended up discussing with him about it and he was way more open hehehe. We discussed about going solo... but very briefly... I believe if we involve him, I could move at some point but still provide the services and he could continue selling things without issues in CH...

But honestly I came here to write this before going to the gym just because I'm missing so much talking to you. I feel I'll write a 1000 page book if I continue at this rate... it's 18:00 the bell is ringing... time to go! I <3 you! I miss you!

[that-thing-that-feeling]

I'm seeing people on twitter saying the duffers edited out the scene where Jonathan is taking pics of Steve and Nancy. I haven't watched S1 in quite a while so I don't remember enough about the scene to say whether they have or not. What do you think? Have they or do some people not remember the scene, think it was worse than that and are making stuff up to drag Jonathan? They are saying it's been done to make Jonathan look better and Steve to look bad.

No ST didn’t edit it; this tweet is completely wrong and look how many likes it has:

It would be helpful if people actually watched the show—however, there is something about that scene that could confuse someone if they didn’t watch it carefully. As someone who loves Jonathan but does not like this moment and has answered so many asks about him taking the pictures, I know that scene and the aftermath v well. P much all the replies on that tweet believe it and are like ‘omg they’re trying to fake redeem Jonathan by editing the scene’—uh no, the scene has always been bad for Jonathan and also the pic in question makes no narrative sense. It’s also bad enough for him without embellishing details about the scene, whether bc fans misremember or want to vilify Jonathan and make Steve a saint in s1--or both. 

To remind everyone of what happened in order (I’m borrowing my own gifs from old posts):

Jonathan goes out into the woods to look for clues of Will’s disappearance and take photos of the scene to see if the police missed anything:

He hears a girl scream and runs towards the scream thinking it could be related to Will or is someone in danger (it’s not; it’s just Steve, Nancy, Tommy, Carol, and Barb in the pool in Steve’s backyard). He should turn around there, but Jonathan is effectively thrown under the bus for an important plot point (that he ends up getting the demogorgon on film).

He takes pics of all of them in the pool enjoying life. That’s already a violation of privacy enough that he’s in the bushes taking their pictures, even if that wasn’t his original intent. The show makes it into that he isn’t used to interacting with people and uses photography both to hide and as a way to observe people as they really are. You get the sense when you’re watching it, though, that he feels like a total outsider, is going through it what with his brother missing, and sees this glimpse of normal teenage life he perhaps wishes he has (even if he says he doesn’t).

Honestly, Steve could have broken his camera just for him taking the pool pics. Instead, the show goes a step further; he takes this picture of Nancy in a contemplative moment in the striped shirt that he later explains he thought captured the real her (hmm):

People seem to forget, the scene then stays in Steve’s room with Stancy and does not cut to Jonathan for a bit. It shows Nancy taking her top off and Steve looking at her and having a moment. We don’t see Jonathan take a picture here (however, we find out later that he did).

It then shows Stancy beginning to kiss. At this point, as soon as they start to kiss, the scene cuts back to Jonathan finally putting his camera down (he never took pictures of them “hooking up” as that tweet says):

He then turns his camera and gaze away from Stancy and focuses on Barb; this is where he gets a critical pic and plot point (he inadvertently captures the demogorgon before it attacks Barb—Nancy will later notice this in the torn up pic, etc)

It’s only AFTER all of this, when he’s developing the pictures, that we find out that in addition to the ones we saw him take (the woods by where Will was taken, the pool, the pic of Nancy looking out the window, pics of Barb):

That he also actually did take an even worse pic of Nancy—one of her taking off her shirt in the scene that had stayed on stancy in Steve’s room:

So, yeah, you can still drag Jonathan for this. Only when you do so, don’t add he went to the woods to stalk Nancy (he didn’t), or that he took naked pics of them hooking up (he didn’t), or the Duffers have edited the scene to make him look better (they didn’t and he doesn’t look better!)

Also don’t say he didn’t apologize and it was never addressed. He apologizes here:

And the show again raises the scene in question when they’re fighting in the woods. He gets “redemption” by apologizing to her, having his camera taken away and learning how to interact with people not hidden behind a camera, he respects and is super careful with Nancy’s boundaries, and only then is he given the camera back—once he no longer would use it like this. In terms of if you forgive him or not, you can also ask why did the Duffers even think to put that extra photo in when it wasn’t necessary to the plot (again Steve could have broken his camera based on the pool pics alone or the shot of Nancy looking out the window). But don’t try to forget that both guys severely screwed up in s1 and the Duffers exhibited sexist writing towards Nancy. In a different violation of privacy, Steve climbs to her window, looks in without her knowing, and observes Jonathan and Nancy together:

He then essentially helps Tommy and Carol write “Nancy the slut Wheeler” on a movie marquee for the whole town to see. Like Jonathan apologizes, he realizes that was terrible and helps clean off the marquee. So, yeah, they both did something awful to Nancy in s1, but with Jonathan, there def was an apology and a long development of their relationship in s1 in which they learned how to trust and be there for each other. You also get scenes of Jonathan that continually invoke consent (like “is this okay?”), when he’s in her room in s1, etc. The trust that develops between them is deep and grows over multiple episodes of the show.

Tl; dr: no they didn’t edit the scene, it’s still up there on Netflix rn exactly like this. I am still curious if we can catch what they did edit in previous seasons, but it wasn’t this scene lol.

[chans-bad-girl]

I’m already in love with your work after reading your Changbin one. I know you can fulfill my thoughts and headcannons and drabbles with how you wrote that the Changbinxreader like it was SO GOOD !!

Can you write like some perv!SKZ stuff? Specifically any individual member of 3racha ? Just like the member thinking about fucking you when you bend over in a skirt with thigh highs or the member sneaking pics of you or watching you fuck your self on a vibrator when you don’t know that they’re watching you through the crack in the door. They rut against you while cuddling and think you don’t notice, and feel you up when you hug. Just stuff like that if you’re comfortable with it ! Thank you !

Thank you for your positive feedback!

Perv!skz headcanons

disclaimer: all of the described actions are consensual (except maybe Chan stealing your underwear lmao) and are structly fictional encounters. these scenarios are in no way representative of the real stray kids and their personalities.

warnings: obviously skz being pervs, tw//knife play, restraints, dirty talk, groping, nipple play, taking pictures without the other knowing, pantie kink? lol, boob job, cum play, voyeurism + getting caught, hair pulling, dumbification/degradation, pet names (kitten, baby, babygirl, babe,...), brat taiming, corruption, manhandling, begging, master/daddy, make up sex, angry sex, sex against a wall (actually, multiple), bending over, shower sex, teasing, bunch of skirts, marking (hickey and with a knife), jealousy, possessiveness, dry humping, switch!minho

phew, this is a long list sjssjjs

Felix

u know how Felix is a cuddle bug and all that

but do you also know he likes his hand under your shirt?

no?

oh but he does

and he loves squeezing your sides, your chest, sometimes also your neck

will instinctively sneak his arm under your shirt when he backhugs you

imo he's a boob guy, convince me otherwise (you can't)

this boy dreams of boob jobs or his cum all over your chest whenever you adjust your bra or your nipples can be seen through your shirt

or you'll just sit on the couch, his hand up your shirt, fondling with your nipples while you're watching some random show

"you're so soft, babe. I love it when you go braless."

also the type to rut against you but act as if it were casual asf

Chan

literally always has his eyes on your silhouette

will never pass on the opportunity to slap your ass or to size you up

might take pics of you in outfits he especially likes and then sends them to you with dirty texts

[Chan] you're so hot, babygirl. might have to take that off tonight.

but you'll be at a get together with friends

he will also look at the pictures when he's jerking off

this thing with clothes might go further

and he could use your panties to touch himself

literally will do laundry just to fish your panties out of the basket

will lose it at your scent

loves it when you dress up or when he gets to see your figure

his hands will find your waist immediately, no time left for you to even put the outfit on completely

Jisung

oh boy perv jisung is the type to get horny very fast

you'll just be chilling on a hot day

hair up in a bun

and while you tie your hair up, his mind already goes places

following fantasy clouds his mind: your bare legs (because it's like 45 degrees and you're dying in the heat, you wear a light dress) on the ground, getting bruised from you kneeling down for him

will finally lose it at you sucking on a popsicle

low-key aggressively takes initiative out of pure desire

lust is strong here

watch his hair go crazy with his movements

he will not slow down lmao

"shit baby, why you gotta be so hot?"

Hyunjin

I think he'd go crazy about your hair

tied up hair? yes

yes yes yes yes

will also tie his hair up so you think that about him as well

grabbing his ponytail and stuff

yea he likes watching and fantasizing a bunch

he gets a thrill out of how impatient he is or how easy it is to find him in that crack of the door he watches you from

voyeurism has found its ultimate form in perv!hwang hyunjin because he loves watching you

rut against your vibrator, moan at the stretch your dildo provides you with

as he pumps his length watching you

moving his hand in the same rhythm that your hand guides your toys inside and out

but he usually doesn't last long just watching

he likes being caught

so he purposefully lets a groan escape him, maybe one that's a bit over-exaggerated

will get 10000x hornier when you actually catch him

((grab him by his hair))

"oh, yn" *surprised face that's very obviously fake* "why don't we help each other while we're at it..."

Changbin

the one who loves you bending over

loves the sight of you in a mini skirt and thigh highs

high heels as well

loves when you're daring or bratty

because he loves to taim you

loves to be the only guy you've ever laid eyes on, the only person who's ever made you feel good

he's your master and he likes his authority challanged so it can be assessed properly

he will get horny in the most innocent situations because THAT FACE

HOW COULD HE NOT?

gets horny from you looking up at him, literally

like your eyes going big for him, you under him, you batting your eyelashes

that stuff gets him going

and when he gets going, he goes at it with all or nothing

I feel like a lot of people say Chan's the dom but honestly if I had to pick only one out of the members to be "the most dominant", it would be Changbin (Chan might be daddy but Changbin is your master)

that man loves to corrupt you and manhandle you

loves when you say please even in non-sexual situations

will always smirk and wink at you

"might have to fuck that out of you, huh kitten? such a stupid little brat. fucking bend over now."

Jeongin

I believe he has a very dirty mouth

will not hesitate to tell you in detail what he's thinking about

baby bread days are over

this man pins you to the wall and fucks you against it as a warmup to his workout

and that's the stuff he says to you

in public

y'all would be in a subway and out of the blue, because he's bored, he'll give you all the details to his wet dreams about you

the type to tell you what he wants without shame

and it makes him even hornier when you react to his statements with a hot face or a shy demeanor

loves it when you make dirty jokes or are being filthy

so easy to get him in the mood lmao

literally just have to look at him a certain way and the boy will be ready, no hesitation

loves to be challanged though

I think make up sex would be big with him

like, tell him he's such a cute baby and he'll be pinning your wrists above your head just to prove to you that he's not a baby

you arguing? turn on

challanges? turn ons

wink at him? it's over, he's inside of you already

Seungmin

the biggest tease

he won't tell you he likes it when you twirl your hair or wear a skirt

but he'll let you know with the teasing

"easy access, huh?"

but will say it with the biggest smirk plastered on his face

will not let any dirty joke of yours die down ever

bickering is basically foreplay

can't stop thinking about how your pink top would look like with his cum stains

lets you know but, again, in a teasing way

dirty minded but will only express it when he's comfortable around you

otherwise will be stiff as a microwaved bread

teasing you in public? heck no, no touches, no teasing

pda? never heard of her

fucks you only indoors, mostly in the shower

yea he loves sneaking in when you shower

will tell you to leave the door open, then joins with a boner and traps you against the tiles

"all day long, you've teased me with that little skirt of yours and now I don't even have to take it off anymore. how pretty...turn toward the wall, baby."

Minho

likes fantazising about gore stuff, but never actually practices any gore stuff

he sees you with a knife in the kitchen? turned on

probably watches porn and follows tags like tw//knife play or something

gets off to those clips imagining you

secretly would like to try out subbing but that would destroy the whole fun

of when he tells you to claim/mark him as a challenge because he knows he could dom you in .1 second if he wanted to

but he likes to see you struggle

that's why I think he'd love restraints

absolutely goes crazy when you tell him something dirty and kinda loves when you're being a brat

talking back at him

standing up for yourself as well

big turn on

secretly he's also a brat lol

will "put you in your place" and "never let you talk to this guy again"

when he was just the florist who made your bouquet for mother's day

but nah he was "flirting"

will use anything similar as an excuse to mark you up

"my baby's so pretty with the knife in her hand. almost looks like you're in charge..."

Hope this is what you wanted<3

[gnocchighoul]

the demons brothers + a touch starved mc

Lucifer

If you’re going to Lucifer because you’re touch starved, then you’re definitely going to be close to him already -- he doesn’t let just anyone touch him.

.......He’s also touch starved but won’t admit it, so one of you is gonna just have to bite the bullet and make a move.

(It’s gonna have to be you)

You’re going to have to go about this carefully--make a really good plan and then execute it flawlessly.

Literally just throw yourself at him. 

He’ll catch you. 

Probably.

Nothing says ‘give me affection’ quite like yeeting yourself off the staircase at him, and he definitely understands what you want when you latch on tight to him like a weird little barnacle that he cant peel off no matter how hard he tries dfghjkkgf

He’s really warm and he smells Really nice and he hugs you so tight, like it’s the last chance he’ll ever get, so he’s honestly one of the best snuggle buddies. 

He’s gonna act all fussy about your love-attack at first--just play with his hair and smother him with lots of kisses and he won’t be able to resist snuggling u. Or banging u, but that’s your choice

Y’know, because “demons can’t resist temptation” and all that jazz. 

(tbh he just likes likes you alot)

Mammon

...Why are you staring at him like you wanna eat him?

Seriously, knock it off, you’re freaking him out!

Wait, why are you coming closer…? Get Back you Fiend don’t you DARE wrap your arms around him and nuzzle your face into his chest like that what the FU--

...Oh.

Huh. This is kinda nice.

(Just hug him. If you want his affection, just wrestle him into a bear hug and don’t. let. go.)

At first, Mammon doesn’t really understand affection that isn’t along the lines of a friendly/loving punch. He’s not used to kindness. It’s a fucking tragedy. 

He doesn’t know how to ask for love because I don’t think he even realizes thats an option, tbh. 

He’s kind of like an unsocialized puppy--will definitely put up a fight until he realizes that, hey, being snuggled is nice.

Luckily for Mams, you are touch starved and determined to show his stupidass what affection is supposed to be like. 

He’s going to get so blushy. Sooo blushy. He totally pretends to not like it at first, but inside he’s over the fucking moon happy.

It takes him a while, but eventually, he realizes that he can ask you for snuggles too. At first he’s all “C’mere human, I bet you’re just itchin’ for me to hug ya, so let me make all your dreams come true!”

(It’s a defense mechanism.)

But over time, he eventually seeks you out and just flops on top of ya, and doesn’t feel the need to make a big show about it.

He feels safe with you, and that’s priceless.

Levi

Is incredibly confused about why you’re seeking out him for affection.

When you ask him if you can give him a hug, he expects you to just like... Wrap one arm around his shoulders for .2 seconds. 

Which doesn’t sound too bad, so he says “Um, sure, I guess? I dunno why you’d want to though” 

So when you climb into his lap and wrap your arms around him like a koala bear, his brain straight up blue-screens. 

Seriously, he forgets how to breathe. Don’t squeeze him too hard or he might never restart.

You smooch him on his cheek and his soul promptly leaves his body and is ejected into the atmosphere at mach 5.

This is literally better than Heaven. And he would know, he used to live there.

He totally freezes up and makes a wheezy sound that’s somewhere along the scale of “Dying Animal” and “Exploding Sink”

Needless to say, you create a snuggle monster.

I promise you that you’re never going to be touch starved again, because once you’ve given Levi a taste, he can’t get enough. 

He constantly needs to be touching you. Holding your hand or the fabric of your shirt, leaning against you, sitting with you in his lap while he plays video games--it literally doesn’t matter, he just needs that contact with you or he might literally die. 

He’s very enthusiastic about it dfghkfd

Satan

Look… Satan is very smart. 

But he’s also incredibly dense at times. 

You have to be blunt with him, or else he’s just not going to know what you want.

(Feelings that aren’t all consuming anger and hatred are still a bit new to him--he’s learning as he goes)

Just walk up to him and tell him that you need him to snuggle you right now, dammit. Lay your soul bare to him. 

He really does love that you trust him. It makes him feel all weird and fuzzy inside.

And how can he possibly say no when you set his heart alight?

That said, he is a bit of an over-thinker. 

Worries about crossing boundaries or making you uncomfortable and a million other things--give him lots of reassurance pls

He isn’t opposed at all to cuddle sessions, especially if he’s able to read at the same time. 

It definitely becomes a normal thing to cocoon yourselves up in a really fluffy blanket to read together.

Satan is honestly one of the best to snuggle with because he’s very chill about it. You want this and he wants this, so he doesn’t see a point in playing games.

So yeah, he’s chill! But he’ll also threaten the life of anybody who interrupts you guys 

Asmo

Please, he knows that you’re touch starved before you even do.

Until you’re upfront about it, he’s going to tease you by like, patting your head, playing footsie with you, giving you only the briefest of hugs--just slowly giving you a taste of his affection until you finally cave and demand that he snuggles you properly. 

(Is that a euphemism? It could be lol)

As soon as you ask he’s gonna push you down onto the nearest couch/bed/whatever and just flop on top of you. 

Honestly, Asmo wants You to be the one holding Him. He wants to use your chest as a pillow, and doesn’t he just look so cute all snuggled up to you like this? He totally does, you should take a pic of him!

Cuddle sessions are absolutely going to become a regular thing, and he makes them into a big event each time. My mans Asmo is gonna bust out the candles and the softest blankets and the fluffiest pillows.

If the opportunity strikes, he’s definitely gonna try to bang you.

If not, expect to do face-masks together. Maybe manicures. But definitely the face-masks, at least.

He’s gonna spin this into a fuckfest or a self care session--it really just depends on what you prefer sdghjk

Once you’re in his arms, he will tickle you. rip

Beel

He is the BEST hugger in the whole entire world.

When you approach him and ask for cuddles he will pull you into a hug without hesitation.

I do not care how tall you are, Beel is taller. He will engulf you in a hug and rest his chin on your head and sway you back and forth 

You want a piggyback ride? Hop on. 

Just wanna watch tv and snuggle? Great idea! :D but maybe don’t watch cooking shows or he’s gonna drool on you dfghj

(lowkey I think he would really enjoy watching human movies with you. He found Mamma Mia to be absolutely enchanting)

Want him to lay on top of you and crush you until all of your woes have been squeezed away? He will absolutely oblige you

Congratulations on your newly acquired teddy bear! Please don’t forget to feed him.

Literally just sit on his lap or wrap your arms around him whenever you want, he’s always down for a good snuggle. 

He’s by far the nicest about it too, he won’t tease you about it and he will never hold back from telling you exactly how much he loves holding you in his arms

Definitely loves to be the big spoon but has no problems with being the little spoon either. 

He’s just so fuckimg SWEET

Belphie

Oh, you're touch starved? Perfect. He's been in the market for a good snuggle buddy.

You silly human, why didn’t you come to him sooner?

Don’t listen to what Asmo says, snuggles are Belphie’s domain.

Once it’s established that you two are going to be snuggle buddies, he will literally just abduct you for snuggle time. 

He doesn’t care what you’re doing, he’s going to throw you over his shoulder like a sack of flour and haul you off to his blanket nest whenever he wants.

He just wants you all to himself. 

Will share your snuggle time with Beel tho.

After abducting you, he's just gonna toss you onto his bed and fall on top of you. He's really warm and he really just wants to lay on you. Partially so that you cant escape once he falls asleep lmaoo

He's happy to just talk to you about whatever you want while you guys get your snuggle on, but be warned: he's eventually going to fall asleep. 

Probably mid sentence. 

He won’t wake up when you poke at his cheeks or shake him, either. So uh. I hope you’re in the mood for a nap too!

Get matching sloth onesies with him. He’ll tell you it’s stupid but he’s actually thrilled with them. (Make sure you also get Beel a bear one though)

((part two with the undateables + Luke))

[erodasfishtacos]

Three Minutes

Prompt: Harry slips up and it’s only right his wife serves him a little punishment.

Word Count: 3.2 k +

Warnings: Language, Sexual Content (sexting, dirty talk, public, subby!h)

AN: I’m excited to share this!! I’m pretty sure I’m going to do a part 2. Let me know if you’d like to see this! I’m dedicating this to @harrywritingsbyme because she’s an amazing writer and you need to read everything of hers! Requests open ☺️

Reblog if you can!

Harry was dreading his interview with Howard Stern. The guy was an obnoxious prick who had no filter and liked to put people on the spot - it’s what he’s doing right now. 

You were off to the side, watching the interview next to Jeff. It was matter of time before Howard brought you up to pick and prod at your husband.

“So Harry, you’re married, yes?” Howard asks, typical sunglasses on and curly permed hair donned. His mouth a little to close to the microphone.

“Yeah, I am,” Harry smiles tightly, hands rubbing on this upper thighs. He spares a quick glance over to you.

“She’s here, right?” Howard looks over at you and winks, “Fucking gorgeous babe, huh?”

You roll your eyes at the interviewers remark and Harry’s isn’t pleased but nicely responds, “She’s amazing, way out of my league.”

Howard laughs, “Now I have to ask you, does she tour with you?”

Harry replies, “Yeah. For the most part, sometimes she’ll go off to visit family or friends for a bit.”

The interview smirks, “Does she get worried you’re going to fuck other people while she’s not there? I mean you have girls falling at your feet. It must be hard to avoid temptation.”

You blink owlishly, attempting to contain the offended scoff bubbling in your throat. Jeff snickers and you send him a elbow.

Your husbands face can’t hide his annoyance at the question, “Are you asking me if it’s hard not to cheat on my wife?”

“I mean you could have a line up of girls after every show willing to blow you. I couldn’t be satisfied going home to the same thing every night.”

The band is looking back and forth at each other - clearly uncomfortable. Mitch’s face completely blank - of course.

“Well, I mean - I think that kind of stuff like...people going crazy over you was exciting when I was a bit younger. But no, I mean I’m very much in love and also consider myself a monogamous person.”

“Man, I mean - some of the songs you write about her? Watermelon Sugar, that’s clearly about eating her out,” Howard laughs, the tune playing softly in the background.

Jeff nearly chokes on the water he’s drinking and you pat him hard on the back - as payback for making Harry do this interview.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had pussy so good I’d write about it,” the interview jokes crudely. The women interviewer tittering in the background at his antics.

Harry fumbles, “Uh-uhm, it’s not uh- necessarily about anything or any act like...in particular. Just about having a good time with the person you love.”

The female interviewer who stays mostly quite chirps in to break the tension, “Is it hard to be long-distance when she’s not on the road with you?”

“Not at all. Most of the time she’s with me but we’re lucky we have technology that helps us not feel so far away from each other.”

Howard smiles, “How do you not go crazy being without sex for long amounts of time?”

It’s odd how obsessed this guy is with sex. As well as painting Harry as some sex-crazed rockstar who can’t go a day without.

Harry then goes on to put his entire, big ass foot in his mouth. “Y‘know that’s uh-that’s what good about FaceTime and Snapchat.”

The interviewer grins like a predator at Harry’s admission. You’re face is bright fucking pink. You’re gonna murder him.

“Well you heard it here first, folks. The key to how Harry Styles - one of the greatest artist of his time- keeps a happy relationship with his wife while he’s on the road. Dick pics and FaceTime sex.”

Harry glances over at you, his face apologetic as he already knows he in trouble.

You’re not that embarrassed - it not like it’s a weird thing to do but you didn’t want him talking about it with a trashy talk show host. 

The interview is almost over which is good because Harry’s about to lose his temper after he’s asked about his step-father’s passing and the stalker who was harassing you two.

During the interview however, you get a wonderful fucking idea as easy payback for Harry’s little slip up.

After Harry’s tossed his headset and microphone pack off with a little too much force to be unnoticeable - he’s sliding up beside you.

“Baby love,” He murmurs sheepishly into your cheek, nuzzling there for a moment, and breathing in the scent of your shampoo.

“You did good, H,” You reply softly, landing a soft kiss to his lips before pulling back to brush his hair off his forehead.

“Y’not mad?” Harry asks warily, knowing he got nervous and gave a little too much information.

“No baby, not mad at all,” Your voice steady and believable. It was true - you weren’t mad, just a little annoyed.

He seems confused. He knows you like the back of his hand and usually, you get peeved when he says something in interviews you’d rather the word not know.

Like the one time he let it slip you had an affinity for hooking up in hotel pools after dark. Prat.

**

Harry multiple appearances that day and it ends in a dinner at a fancy restaurant in Beverly Hills with big wigs.

You were invited but declined, despite Harry’s pouting and whines for you to go. You were the only thing that made these work obligations go faster.

However, you had other plans and a little bit of revenge to play on your unsuspecting husband.

All in good fun - of course.

**

Harry sits down with a group of people from his label. They’re all dressed in tight suits and rolex watches.

Harry on the other hand is in a flowy button-up only halfway done and a tight pair is skinny jeans. Jeff is dressed pretty casually too.

They were talking about tour dates and had just received their appetizers when he gets the text from you. Your name in his phone as baby love.

Harry nearly chokes on his water when he opens the message to reveal an image of you nearly naked in your shared bed. You skin tone standing out against the baby blue comforter.

You have one of his vintage tees on as well as some creme boyshort panties. The shirt is lifted though, rumpled up by your collarbones to reveal your breasts.

Harry wants to drool over the picture but doesn’t want to risk anyone else seeing his wife in any state of undress. So he quickly responds.

Baby, I’m at dinner.

You reply with another picture. A hand tucked down your underwear, cupping your heat. He can see the outline of your fingers underneath the thin fabric.

Already have something you could eat.

Harry can already feel himself twitch in his jeans. Cut it the fuck out now

Another. Fucking. Picture. Comes through.

This time you’re completely stripped, tits visible with soft pink peaks, and a hand strategically covering your cunt. 

Make me, H.

It clicks what game you’re playing. You rarely sent anything risqué when you where together because you had each other physically.

Harry curses under his breathe, locking his phone and pushing back his chair a little too fast - excusing himself to the loo.

As soon as he clicks the lock on the single-person restroom, he’s pressing on your contact information and you pick up on the very first ring.

“You bloody brat, I’m out at dinner,” Harry hisses at you, giving himself a rough squeeze through his tighten trousers.

All he hears back is a breathy moan. He’d know that sound anywhere - you’re touching yourself.

“What the fuck are you playin’ at?” Your husband demands, but the clipped edge in his tone tells you how much it’s affecting him.

“Just a little payback, babe...for spilling our dirty secrets,” you hum innocently, deciding to send him another picture.

It’s a simple photo without context some might not even understand. It’s just your hand but your fingers glistening with your arousal. 

Harry’s hand is about to crush is phone into bits as his eyes roam the picture. He was nearly panting, already able to imagine the taste and smell.

He takes a deep breath before he threatens you, “if you don’t pull your desperate little self together right now- I’m not going anywhere near that needy cunt and I’ll make you spend all night choking on me.”

Instead of the typical, sad whimpers he expects to hear - he receives a patronizing, high-pitched giggle.

“That’s not how it’s going to work tonight, H,” you inform him in a matter-of-fact manner before continuing, “we’re playing by my rules.”

Your husband laughs in disbelief, echoing against the bleak bathroom walls, “and what those rules, sweetheart?”

“You’re going to go sit through your nice little dinner, rockstar. And I’m going to send you pictures, maybe some videos to watch to keep you entertained. If you don’t open them within three minutes each time and reply - you’re not coming tonight. The couch will have a blanket and pillow ready for you.”

If he was in charge, he’d laugh and remind you that you two have three lovely guest rooms he could choose from. But he doesn’t want to push it.

“Fuck,” Harry spits, having to cram his hand into his jeans to adjust himself so he doesn’t look like a pervert when he goes back out.

But he was so fucking game.

He’d do anything you wanted from him - no matter if he could embarrass himself in front of business partners or fans. He was besotted, whipped, whatever you wanted to call him.

“Are you going to be good for me, baby?” You coo tauntingly, from the other end of the line. Basking in his little huffs of air and the agitated lift in his voice.

“Yeah, m’gonna be good,” he murmurs gruffly, his demeanor had changed now that he wasn’t in charge any longer - always willing to let you be dominant when you wanted to be. 

It wasn’t often - but when you did, Harry would fall into a nice, fuzzy headspace of compliance and submission. He always wanted to please and this amplified all of his desires.

“Best husband I could ask for, you know?” You reward, knowing that the games are just getting started and you wanted to make this last.

“I love you s’much,” Harry automatically returns, with deep devotion and honesty. His voice as sweet as maple syrup.

“Are you hard, H?” 

He grips himself, like he’d just remember, “m’really fucking hard for you.”

“Snap an picture for me, pull yourself together, and then go back to your table - don’t forget the rules.”

“Yes ba-“

Then you end the call while he’s talking.

Harry’s a little shaky as he swipes onto his camera. He grips the thick outline of his cock, rings glinting in the dull lights, and takes a picture.

He hopes it’s good enough and quickly sends it before splashes some cold water on his face and thinking of anything but his naked wife laying at home in their bed - wet and horny.

Jeff gives him a side-eye when he sits back down, casually throwing a napkin over his lap because he can’t help the semi that refuses to go down all together.

“You alright?” His manager asks him, the others still in the throws of tour venues and vendors discussions.

Harry nods, lying easily “the missus couldn’t find her phone charger - thought I nipped it.”

“You do love to steal those,” his friends agrees before cutting off one of them men to suggest three days at Madison Square Garden instead of two.

Harry’s clutching his phone like a lifeline, anticipating the indicative text vibrations that let him know you’ve sent something.

However, despite how many times he checks, fifteen minutes pass and still nothing has sent from you. He almost starts to worry if you’re okay.

But just like the sneaky little thing you are, you wanted to give him enough time to calm down and relax before rilining him up again.

When it finally alerts him, he’s unlocking his phone and opening the message thread as fast as possible. 

The picture makes his jaw almost drop on the fucking carpeted floor. You’re in one the large closets in your home- the one that holds all of his Gucci suits in particular.

There is a massive floor to ceiling mirror in this room that you’re standing in front of. You’ve slid on one of his custom silk Gucci button-ups that has styles embroidered on the breast pocket without doing doing up any of the buttons.

He’s an absolutely goner for you in anything that makes you look like his property - the large engagement ring and wedding band on your left ring-finger satiates that feeling quite well.

It takes he a moment before he realizes what else you’re wearing. Your fucking collar. It sat tight around your neck, the expensive leather biting into your skin.

Your one hand was holding the phone and the other had a hand teasing at one of your hardened nipples through the silk fabric of the shirt.

He keeps his phone in his lap with a dim light setting so nobody can risk a chance at seeing such explicits pictures of what’s his.

You look so good with my name on you, baby. Please, want to see you in just the collar, take off the shirt.

Harry fumbles along with the conversation, that’s revolving all around him, “Yeah, I loved Argentina. Definitely want to got there again.”

Buzz.

How’d you already forget I’m in charge? Maybe I’ll just go to bed if you’re not going to follow instructions.

As punishment - if you can really call it that - in the next image you don’t have the collar on any longer and you’ve done up a few buttons on the silk shirt.

Harry feels panicked at the thought of you stopping. He was in a nice, soft headspace clinging onto anything you were willing to give him - desperate to make you happy.

I’m sorry, baby. I’ll be good for you. You’re so fucking sexy. I can basically taste you on my tongue.

“Harry?” Jeff draws him out of his haze. He’s looking at him expectantly, eyebrow quirked, and a martini in his hand.

“What did you say?” Harry asks, eyes itching to dart back down to the screen of his mobile.

“Would you want Kacey to open for you again in North America?” Jeff repeats with annoyance.

“Oh, uh-yeah, that’d be great,” he tells them without really think about it.

He should be paying attention to this pretty important meeting but he can’t when he gets another alert.

The video is back in the bedroom, your delicate fingers sliding down your torso with the button-up pooled around your ribs.

Your hand slowly, at a near crawl- traces down with the camera until the manicured tips of your fingers are at your mound.

Harry’s stomach is tensing in excitement as he watches your fingers dip into the part in your slick, swollen folds.

He has to bite back a groan when the video cuts off and he reads the text below the attachment.

Was this the pussy you enjoyed eating so much you won a Grammy writing about? Was Howard right in his interview?

If Harry was in charge, he would have delivered a few resounding smacks to your arse for how cocky you were being - despite it being the absolute truth.

Did he write and win a Grammy based on a song about how much he loved eating his wife out? Sure fucking did.

Baby love. Yeah, wrote it about you. Write all my songs about how much I love you and your body. Everything is yours.

Harry is so good when he’s subby - is the thing.

Harry was a sappy sod anyways, always ready to tell you how much he loved you and thousand of other sweet things. This just amplified all of his warm, fuzzy emotions.

Send me a picture of your left hand

He hesitates for a moment, still nodding along to the ebb and flow of the business talk but having no actual idea what they’re talking about.

Harry places his large, wide hand flat on the table in front of him. He knew why you wanted his left hand - you were just as possessive as him. 

You want to see his long, slim fingers that feel so good inside of you. You want to see the glimmer of his wedding band as well as the tattoo of your name on the outer curve of his hand.

He doesn’t think to turn off his flash. It ends up going off in the dimly lit restaurant and blinding the table, reflecting off the silver flatware. 

He looks like a complete knob - taking a picture of his hand but also something weird Harry may do anyways and upload to his Instagram.

The men blink a few times and look at him with a confused expression. Jeff jabs him roughly in the side.

“Uh, snapchat streak,” he mumbles, tucking his phone back into his lap and sending it.

You were cutting it close, babe. 2 minutes, I don’t like waiting. But fuck, who’s name is that on your hand, who’s that ring for?

You, you baby. All of its for you, promise. I belong to you, only you for the rest of my life.

The response is quick.

But...you have girls falling at your feet, lining up to blow you.

A direct quote for the interview today. Brat - she knew how he hated when people assumed or talked like he had no self control or morals.

Only want your mouth, your cunt, your tits. So bloody gone for you, baby. Please send me another video.

He really shouldn’t be egging you on.

Your being greedy but you’ve been following the rules so I’ll allow it.

The video does not disappoint. You’re hand is nestled down between your thighs, pinching at your puffy, stimulated bud. Just the amount of pain you like. It’s a short clip but it has him wriggling in his seat.

He watches it again but before he can finish it - Jeff is snatching his phone out of his shaky hands and tucking it into his own pants pocket.

The manager’s obviously sick of the lack of focus and honestly, how disrespectful Harry’s being which is something he usual never is.

“Pay attention,” he whispers with a sharp, irritated tone before clapping Harry on the back to play off the scolding to the group.

Harry feels a knot form in his stomach as his phone sits stagnant in his friends pocket. His wife sitting, impatiently waiting for his response that she’s not going to get.

He watches his vintage wristwatch as fifteen minutes pass, he hears a few buzzes from his phone that go unattended.

Harry’s not fuzzy anymore - well not in a good way. He has anxiety bubbling in his tummy and his semi had finally disappeared from nerves of disappointing you.

He decides to engage in the conversation to keep his mind off of what is waiting for him at home. He craved to look at those images and videos again. To have it in real life.

**

It had been three hours since he responded. The people at the table insisting on dessert and alcoholic coffees despite Harry saying he was exhausted from a long day of promo.

At the end of dinner, Harry would love to lie and say he’s recovered from his shakiness but he hadn’t.

After shaking the hands of the record label men, he walks to his car with Jeff. He gets a nice talking to before his phone is being placed back into his hand and he’s sliding into his obnoxious vintage Ferrari.

He takes a deep breathe before he unlocks his phone. The buzzes he heard where not all from you. A few from Twitter, his mum, Niall. There was only one from you.

Game Over. You lose.

—

Thank you for reading💕🥺