#also genuinely get confused over what’s canon whats fanon and what my headcanons are at this point

[coraniaid]

🔥 - Cordelia

Cordelia is a character I generally like without actually thinking about her very much, if that makes sense? Maybe I would care about her more actively if I were more invested in Angel; or maybe knowing what that show will ultimately do to her is what stops me from getting invested in it. Not really sure either way to be honest.

As far as hot takes go ... well, I don't think I really buy into most of the Cordelia fanon I sometimes see on Tumblr. Can't really put why better than I did last year. Like I said in my recent Faith hot take: I don't like the fanon instinct to try to make characters nicer and more sympathetic than they're presented as in canon, especially when they have some kind of canonical redemption arc. You're getting rid of one of the more interesting things about them! Why?

On the other hand, I do like the headcanon (not originally mine - I think I got this from @all-seeing-ifer) that Cordelia is ace, or at least that she's accidently ace-coded. I mean, I certainly don't think it is at all deliberate on the part of the writers, but when you go to look there sure are a lot of scenes in which Cordelia either expresses disinterest in (sometimes even disgust at) the very idea of sex (in Faith, Hope & Trick for example: "not the horny thing -- yuck!") or admits to being confused by the thought that other people might want to have sex (in Innocence, for example, she asks Xander with seeming genuine puzzlement: "does looking at guns really make girls want to have sex? That's scary.").

Oh, and although the show is really not clear on this at all, I think the high school Scooby dynamic is slightly more interesting if Willow and Cordelia were (briefly) friends when they were both much younger. To borrow a term I saw recently, this is more canon compatible than canon compliant -- I don't think anything in canon rules it out, but it's a bit of a stretch to say this something that actually comes from canon.

Certainly Xander and Cordelia knew each other from a very young age (they've known each other for at least twelve years in Season 2, as per The Dark Age). And as Willow and Xander were friends as early as kindergarten (which is confirmed in Grave if not before), I think it's safe to assume Cordelia knew Willow at that age too. In Innocence Willow reminds Xander of the "We Hate Cordelia" club ("of which you are treasurer!"), but we don't know exactly when this was formed (I'm guessing a while ago though, given the childishness of the name). What if said club was something Willow formed only after she and Cordelia stopped being friends? After Cordelia met Harmony, say (who we also know, from Graduation Day, is somebody Willow has known for at least a decade: "she picked on me for ten years") and chose being popular over her previous friendship?

Again, I suspect this isn't intentional but it's a take I rather like, and one that I think makes a bit of internal sense. Willow and Cordelia do actually seem to get on better than you might think in the early seasons -- when there's nobody else around for Cordelia to try to impress by putting Willow down, anyway (among other examples, see their intereactions throughout Prophecy Girl). And while Willow obviously doesn't like, say, Harmony -- in fact she hates her "with a fiery vengeance" according to Graduation Day again -- there was apparently no "we hate Harmony" club. What makes Cordelia different (beyond being a main character when Harmony isn't, which is probably what the writers actually had in mind).

Well, what if Cordelia isn't just one of the many people who bullied Willow in high school: what if she was her friend until she ditched her to be more popular? Wouldn't that sting just a little bit more?

We know that Cordelia is actually pretty smart, even though she tries to play it down ("I have some experience of covering these things up," she tells Xander after he sees her SAT scores in Lovers Walk; and don't forget she'd previously said she was "looking forward" to taking the SATs because she "does well in standardized testing" and was accepted into multiple good schools she just couldn't afford to attend). In fact, Cordelia basically has to be academically successful in high school in order to fulfull her primary role as Buffy's shadow self.

But if Cordelia consciously realised at some point that she should hide how smart she is from her peers in order to be popular, is it that much of a stretch to think she also decided to cut off her existing friendship with Willow, who Principal Snyder describes in Doppelgangland as represenative of "the pinnacle of academic achievement at Sunnydale High"?

Also, in the spirit of this post about parallels between Willow and Cordelia (which I really like), it's interesting to compare Willow's nightmare in Restless -- being back in high school and somehow being Found Out -- with Cordelia's fear in Season 1's Nightmares of being dragged into the chess club (which, at least in the language of television) is easy to read as a metaphor for being exposed as somebody who is secretly brainy and perhaps enjoys stereotypically academic or nerdy things. Just like Willow does, in fact.

Remember what Cordelia tells Buffy all the way back in Welcome To The Hellmouth when they run into Willow: "if you want to fit in here, the first rule is: know your losers". That is: Cordelia tells Buffy, the girl who she serves as a mirror of all season, that if she wants to fit in she'll have to choose not to be friends with Willow (and instead performatively belittle and bully her whenever she has an audience). Is it that much of a leap to suppose that a much younger Cordelia once learned that lesson herself?

[punkeropercyjackson]

Sincerely,if you're going to engage with Jason Todd as a character,you need to drop the term 'female-coded' and the stereotypical depections of his actual accidental afrolatino-coding and og Rhato as a whole seeing as it's what ruined his canon writings for so long because the guy responsible for most of it is an actual irl sex offender.You cannot disconnect Lobdell's actions from og Rhato,since his beliefs that drove him to doing them are smeared all over it-See his 'Kori' incarnation?Yeah,that's how he actually thinks of women,it was no bit or just 'boys being boys'.You can't be writing him as a power fantasy or reducing him down to 'The Dead Robin' either as both go against his canon wishes or at least if you're going to,you can't be pretending you're 'defending' him when you harrass other users over telling you it's not true.Jason Todd isn't 'female-coded' because uuuuuhhhhhh something something femininity is about male violence and motherhood,Jason Todd is AFROLATINO-CODED because countless elements,traits and plots of his fall under afrolatino/black/latino poc culture and it's not technically 'problematic' to headcanon Jason as a white gringo but i'll take it over stereotyping of my people.Which is what y'all are doing

Jason within canon is one of thee character's of all time.'Fanon is better than canon'Canon Jason Todd is a Percy Jackson and Miles Morales kinnie who instantly beefed with all his adoptive brothers EXCEPT the 1st ever black Robin and loved him on first meeting and they're EACHOTHER'S Robin,pushed a guy off a roof for running a sex ring as ROBIN and killed a pedophillic teacher for abusing one of his student's as RED HOOD for the 'pervert Jason' truthers,refuses to let himself be coddled by anyone EVEN his own teammates and only dates woc.He's not their character and that got them real hurty feewings uwu since omg where's the papability for me,they aren't doing him justice🥺Give me a fuckin' break,Jason's never happier than when he's with his adoptive mom(Talia)or his Robin or his girlfriends and the two male characters he has actual chemistry with are his childhood best friend who's a demon but also a softboy and a mestizo mejicano and he's borderline asexual with incest as a canonical hard limit kink.Batfanon stans,GET OFF HIS DICK AND A JOB!!!!!!To genuinely confused Jason fans who can't find what they need,i've re-pinned my Jason media guide as of posting this

[stagcharmed-a]

Sometimes I just wish I had more canon to WORK WITH

[thequiver]

how much of Batman being a shit character do you blame on the writing? Because I feel like a lot of the writers have a major cognitive dissonance when it comes to who they present Batman to be and then how they write him. I personally love Batman but I know he’s a horrible dad. In so many ways, Bruce Wayne makes me makes me annoyed beyond comprehension and I really rather accept a fanon/personal HC version of him because I don’t get how Bruce who loved kids and doesn’t want anyone to suffer the same, parentless, lonely childhood he had turns around to hit their kids or treat them the way he does Dami or Jason

So I think there's been some confusion here.

Because I think that Bruce is a great character, he has depth, he's fascinating and complex. I just also really fucking hate him and think that Bruce Wayne is a terrible person and an Andrew Carnegie wannabe (please note that as as an Appalachian, Bruce being at all like Carnegie means that I want to watch him suffer horrible excruciating pain).

And the thing is, is that Bruce being abusive is in character for how he's been written since the silver age at least. That's just how he is. His upbringing with Alfred leads directly to the kind of abuse he levels against Dick, and then the increase in his abusive behavior after Jason's death is very in character for the way that we've seen Bruce react to his trauma.

The greatest thing that I need people to remember is that you can love someone and still be abusive to them. Just because Bruce loves his kids doesn't mean that he's not abusive, because I do genuinely believe that he loves them- but that's not enough. His love for them is not enough for him to get help for his considerable trauma, it's not enough for him to give up his controlling behavior, and it's not enough for him to truly view them as children, especially not when ever since he adopted Dick his children have always been expected to be the mature ones in the parent-child relationship. Bruce's character is to me the clearest sign of what can happen when the darker side of trauma responses are left unchecked- and it's a kind of narrative that's actually compelling to me, because I was going down a similar path with my ptsd before I got help and started prioritizing my own health and the wellbeing of those I interacted with over my own hurt. I just wish that they'd acknowledge that that's what's happening in the narrative rather than painting him as being right in all things.

Bruce has consistently and been written with classist and sexist undertones, and has consistently been written as abusive for decades. Everything written about a character comes from the writers, it comes with the act of writing, that's how a character ends up on page at all. But that doesn't mean that it's not still the characterization of that character. Bruce has always reminded me of those cops who make a big deal out of taking down abusers while doing the same behavior behind closed doors- and I've known a lot of those.

Bruce is a great character- he's just not a hero, and isn't a good person. And that's okay, sometimes watching a hero become less heroic due to the culmination of their refusal to prioritize their own mental health and their dedication to their cause is compelling. And in Bruce's case it is. What I hate is him being viewed as a good person because in canon... he's not.

And I think that the fact that so many people say what you do- that you prefer a fanon and headcanon made up version of Bruce rather than the canon indicates that you all know what I've said above. And to this I say, Oliver Queen exists. Like seriously...... after a certain point you have to admit that Bruce's character is just like that, and that he's been like that consistently for almost his entire existence, and that just because the changes to the character aren't things you necessarily like doesn't mean that they're out of character or things that don't make sense with prior canon.

TLDR: yeah it's because of writers, but like that doesn't mean it's not in character. Characters don't exist outside of their writing, which is why fanon isn't true. So Bruce being a horrible person is literally just his characterization.

[i-did]

hey! I hope those aftg asks aren’t getting tiring lol but I was wondering if you had any thoughts on the recent fandom treatment of Kevin, which seems to be mainly seeing him as a victim mistreated both in canon by the other foxes & by nora himself? Like I remember in the earlier days of aftg (like maybe around 2016? 2017??) there definitely wasn’t this kind of focus or view of Kevin & I feel like he was treated with somewhat more nuance then? And this could be related to the growing hate for Nora since then but you don’t see people say the same things about the other foxes?? This is a very messy ask lol but I’m genuinely so confused about this trend esp because Kevin seems to be the only fox (as far ive seen anyways) that people are holding up as a victim w/o any nuance

I have a lot of fun answering these, I just sometimes take a minute to get to them lol

Okay so I definitely know what you're talking about with the Kevin thing. The first major factor is that AFTG has finished coming you years ago, and Nora has not actively engaged with the fandom since 2016. I came around into AFTG in 2017 as a reader, and looking at the fanart. Mostly by then you see the race headcanons locked into place and the beginning of the split between fanon and canon. Without more canon, fanon content starts to develop as whoever is more influential the fan creators (fic authors, fan artists) start to do things that trend. As a time passes in a fandom, it tends to split into niches, people who see things a certain way and want to see more of that follow each other and gain followers who agree with them. 

There is definitely a Kevin centric niche that thinks those things. I don’t think there was as much focus in general on Kevin back in 2017, but I also was pretty new. But there were no extreme Anti-Andrew fans, back then it was “you are either a fan of Nicky or a fan of Aaron.” People didnt have “dni choking apologists” on their blogs. 

I think choking discourse is a good example of the rise of Kevin. Andrew must fall for Kevin to rise. There are kandreil fans that genuinely like all three, and some ace/aro Kevin fans that like him just as he is, but a lot of Kevin centric content I see now on tumblr is about how Andrew is the real villain of AFTG for choking Kevin, despite Kevin violently choking Neil in book 1. 

Back in 2018 they weren't pitted against the other and I think the whole “you can only like one character or the other” thing is stupid imo. I like Nicky more than Aaron, but I still think they're both interesting characters. Ive seen a lot of “Kevin was only a victim” takes, and in fact got cyber bullied for a while by some people who thought I was too mean to Kevin in some of my HC by implying he also had some power in the nest and likely hurt others, and that he feels guilt over it. :/ but there is also a similar niche with “you can't blame Aaron for his homophobia, his mom was abusive, and she likely made him that way.”

It's the most similar discourse trend I've seen to the Kevin discourse. It’s a similar lack of nuance, and I think people inflict it their favorite character because they don't want to have a ‘problematic fav.’ Aaron is canonly homophobic, Neil says directly after him and Andrew ‘come out’ to the others, that he was waiting to see the same grief Aaron gave Nicky over his sexuality. It doesn't mean he can't be also a good character or a person someone likes, in fact well written characters have dimensions and flaws. 

Which that whole mess is similar to the whole Kevin thing. I think people fall in love with the idea of Nora’s characters, or maybe the fanon characters–but not the real characters. Which is also why they say the author hates them, because they got written to do bad things or not be in the story as much, they defend these characters as if they were real people who need defending, need to be saved from being erased. These characters become “their character.”

I think this also happens because people kin characters and identify with them a lot, so when I said “Kevin was in a position in power in the nest too, even in second place” and then receive threats for how I personally hurt someone who's a CSA survivor because of my Kevin HC I'm like (o – o). I think these people project so hard onto Kevin and design him in their mind, they feel as if character flaw HCs or depictions of Kevin struggling and being mean are personal insults, or at least very personally insulting. And I don't want to sound like an ass, but like my Kevin isn't the same as their Kevin, my Kevin is my Kevin. 

I see skinny art of Andrew and art of Neil as white or ginger, these don’t align with my personal HC’s about them, but like that's what I chose to go with. Nora uses language that makes me believe Neil has dark auburn hair, but if people want him to be ginger idc. In canon he was written with the intent to be white, I ignore that because I think him being mixed adds more depth to his character (as well as me being tired of only white mlm, and have updated my reading list). Andrew wasn’t imagined by Nora to be fat either, but I HC him as like a mini muscle bear instead of Toby Hemingway. 

I keep the canon intent in mind to remind myself how she actually saw them and how that can color canon and how other people are allowed to see Neil as white and Andrew as skinny. Like I understand why people get annoyed over other peoples hc’s, I feel similarly sometimes. But like at the end of the day, you just gotta move out of that fandom niche and into a new one or just ignore the post.

[nagitosasshole]

MASSIVE TW: inc*st, r*pe, p*do, and talk bout the om fandom 😟

(seriously, if you are triggered in any way by the things stated above, please do not read this. i did not have the pleasure of knowin what i was gettin myself into and got very triggered. the things above (aside from the inc*st, sadly) were just mentioned, but it is n o t worth it. pls be safe)

is anyone else really confused and concerned bout headcanons of the obey me boys bein incestuous? like i saw one that said beel and belphie had fucked before and thats literally so disgusting and triggering, tf. like, i get it, you headcanon them as something different from the canon and marginalized fanon, (which makes me question why use those characters to begin with if ur just gonna make them so ooc and gross- like they aren't even that character at that point??) but why involve incest? i personally see them as a mix of canon, fanon, (and at times dark) because they still are demons but thats regarding their sins, their involvement with humans, murder, and general just demon thingsTM. but not ONCE have i genuinely been like "yeah, i think one of the brothers would fuck their sibling." like wHAT T H E FUCK. we've all made jokes about asmo because the devs (shame on you) have made his characters say some s h i t. so i understand it with him, but beel and belphie?? they also said that as a punishment, lucifer would make mammon suck him off (i threw up in my mouth for a SECOND time writing this :'^) help me) and he gets off on it, no wait- bOTH OF THEM DO APPARENTLY. i can't tell if they ship the brothers or not but it sure as fuck seems like they do because who tf in their right mind would write about it if they didn't? wait, correction:

*ahem*

...

WHO THE FUCK WOULD WRITE IT TO BEGIN WITH.

anyway, this fandom needs to stop. they did have a warning at the start of their headcanons which is the most i can give them, but then again, nowhere did it say that INCEST was involved. i'm not saying that they're gross because they like genuinely demon like characters, or dark! om, or because they like them to be taboo or whatever, (i actually have read and enjoyed quite a few dark! or yandere! headcanons, but they weren't something like incest...just sayin) hell, i'm not even sayin that they ship the brothers (but if they do- chair. make it electric.) but i'm genuinely just trying to wrap my head around the fact that they in 100% confidence wrote those incest headcanon s and were like "yes, this is good." like i'm not sayin that if you write taboo or dark stuff that ur bad, that is absolutely n o t the case!! but thats in regards to moralygrey ones like levi stealing underwear or asmo takin aphrodisiacs before goin in public, but not iNcEsT. and those headcanons bein lumped together just makes me think that they don't mind it all the more. like incest is on the same level as bein a panty thief, which it is n o T. WHICH DOES NOT NEED EXPLAINING. surely someone else has to see what i'm sayin, right? anyway, sorry bout this rant, i am just really tired of seein stuff like this bein glorified or seen as normal. and godforbid anyone say the obvious- that thats disgustin and wrong- then people are like "tHeYrR nOt ReAl" or, "YoUrE rEaLlY bUlLyInG sOmEoNe OvEr ThIs?!" i'm-

i'm so sick of the brothers and luke bein used for peoples sick fetishes and devious reasons. goodnight-

(an: i do not kink shame, but as you all can see why (if not, kindly get off my page) incest, rape (unless its consensual rp) and pedophilia is BAD. say it with me now, incest, rape, and pedophilia (and anything like it), even if fictional, is BAD. if you disagree, stay the absolute fuck away from me :^) )

[softer-ua]

in regards to what you pointed out a few posts ago, ngl one of my least favorite fandom things is when they make Kaminari the Har Har Stupid Joking ADHD Bi Playboy Who Is Never Serious Trope. like, he's very smart, 'worst in ___ area of a UA course' is very impressive and I don't remember if it even said that or just that he was studying with some other students, worried about his grades overall, calls himself stupid with implied insecurities about it, and didn't think he was very smart compared to the other people in the course. quirk overuse makes him loopy, incoherent, and think everything's funny. and yeah, he's a bit of a flirt and made a few perverted comments and actions that he clearly didn't think through that well. I'm pretty sure he's not ever stated to be bi in the manga because it was written by a coward, so I think people should think more about why they're associating and pairing together the idea of "hot flirty playboy who if legally able would sleep with everyone he meets" with emphasis or joke in the captions of whatever the content is on him being bi. I don't think this is inherently bad, even put together, but the execution feels kind of :/ and shallow. and I mainly just wish they'd pause to consider if there's any reason (subconscious or intentional) why one of those makes them think about the other, and at the very least lean back to see if they're blatantly making those traits centric around each other and tweak how they're showing them a little. Part of this is also because it's basically his fanon sexuality, but then they stick together "oh he's bi and everyone thinks that" and "he's made flirty or perverted comments and actions in canon at some point" and then mentally exaggerate and have this Canon Image of him as *waves hand at above* and I don't think that's happening consciously in most cases but. again. Cookiecutter Bi Party Playboy Who's Made a Date Offer to Everyone In The Building. not a flirty Person or a Playboy who is bi and flirts with more than one genders

I myself headcanon him as adhd and while the exact sexuality depends on my mood I think of/have him as bi in a lot of my content, but it's the same thing with why non adhd people see how he acts and label "adhd!" Especially about comprehension speed and derpy acting and intelligence and attention span jokes/tropes. Again, not bad in and of itself, but the specific parts of his behavior that make them think he's adhd, or that they start making jokes about or Ha Ha ADHD'ing, or that they think is why we project ADHD on him, (which they aren't necessarily wrong about, but like right in a really disrespectful look at how funny this is oh look squirrel way that's only funny when adhd people are doing it and it isn't all mocking like that) when they see other people calling him adhd, are the wrong ones, I think, and it shows in their characterization of him.

I'm not saying that any of those traits are bad in a character, but as a queer adhd girl with very high annual test scores and Gifted Kid Intelligence but extremely poor grades, focus, and brain damage (admittedly nothing like his, it was a longterm passive thing that mainly just made me have a Lot of Really Bad headaches, and closest thing it did to me was make me sluggish and emotional on bad days and also techincally have the potential kill my language bit if left untreated or the surgery messed up, which it didn't, and it won't be a problem again. but even after explaining that it wasn't cancer or any sort of tumor, and after seeing it do very little at all to affect my behavior outside of irritability and performance, because y'know, constant migraines, gone after the surgery but this was before that, Certain People I Was Vaguely Kind Of Acquaintances With started to treat my like I was a fragile glass thing going to to drop dead and revive myself speaking like a comic relief cartoon crazy person at any moment which was. patronizing.) I've since had surgery for, the way the fandom combines them into stereotypes and portrays them really just rubs me the wrong way- "Flirty Bi(tm) Playboy" "Har Har ADHD Can't Focus Or Get Things After They're Explained To Him, He's Still Confused And An Idiot" "Stupid Person With Brain Damage Who Can't Take Care Of Or Think For Themself And Acts Stupid And Funny For People To Laugh At" which tbh is super ableist even and especially when people irl do fit that description, and also reminds me of the Autistic Person Freaking Out And Being Dramatic sense of humor. And I know it's not helped by canon, because it done for comic relief and to limit his powers, but explored more I think it as a limitation could have been used way more interestingly than canon did and also call me biased but that quirk induced brain frying sounds at least as concerning as Izuku's quirk's backlash.

And it's a shame!! Because he's so much more interesting than that! Instead, the fandom gives me the Cookicutter Funny Bi ADHD Flirt Who's An Idiot and I am sad about it.

tbh it reminds me of what happened to percy jackson, esp with the ADHD Idiot Trope thing. which sucks because apparently it originated in the author making up stories around characters like his adhd and dyslexic kid inspired by Greek myths to tell him after running out of actual myths because it was his special interest and he wanted more. and then the series got kind of all over the place and the fandom processed that the adhd and dyslexic main character who does dumb things sometimes but is very combat smart and great at strategizing and leading gets bad grades and has trouble focusing and has, y'know, adhd, and made him the ADHD Idiot and erased his Gifted Kid girl friend's traits and ADHD and dyslexia into No Nonsense Calls Him an Idiot And Thinks He's Stupid And Has To Tell Him What To Do And Manage His Life For Him and honestly that just kind of sucks and it reminds me of what happened to fandom Kaminari. and now that I think of it people have jirou like that around him a lot too.

im fine with you answering this publicly if you want or have something to add but probably tag as ableism and maybe a biphobia mention content warning for people who don't have the energy to deal with thinking about those kinds of negative things rn because I kind of Went Off About It

I love this! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences 💚(and double thank you for tag suggestions)💚

I couldn’t agree more that a lot of fandom has messed up Kami’s character, which is why I’ve kinda been posting more about him cause he’s just stuck in my head.

I think a lot of fandoms have trouble with characters like this, people have a hard time with duality in characters and fast/fun posts are easier to make if you flatten a character down.

The did it to Kami, they did it to Percy, they did it to Ron Weasley, they do it to Thor, the list goes on. If being the Smart One ™️ isn’t your thing and you can be goofy than you get pigeonholed into the idiot trope.

I feel for Kami a lot(probably because I have adhd/brain damage too)

It sucks when you’re smart but it’s not the traditional, measurable kind of smart(even if by national comparison Kami technically is).

I got terrible grades growing up, and I pretty much got the absolute lowest gpa you can get and still graduate. But absolutely no one would have known if I didn’t tell them, because I’m not dumb.

(It’s okay if you are “dumb”, I love me a head empty just vibes friend. You’re 100% valid, stil worthy of joining discussions, and should be listened to and taken seriously. This just isn’t about that tho)

I joke sometimes that I’m clever and witty but not smart, because that’s exactly what it feels like.

I have lots of thoughts and ideas that I think I articulate pretty well, I am excellent at finding the humor in things and expressing it in a way that’s funny to others too, and there is almost zero problems I can’t find a work around. And the people in my life love it, and they love to use it.

But eventually everyone in my life finds out that I’m not smart. They see the way I have to pause to Google how to calculate a tip, that I don’t know the name of all 50 states or even where to find them on a map, or I legitimately just can not spell (if you ever see a post where it looks like I used a weird word choice it’s probably because I tried 4 times and autocorrect+Google couldn’t help me and voice to text wasn’t an option)

No one ever questions my intelligence until they find out about my adhd and/or catch me struggling with it. After the mask comes off it’s like they can’t even hear me anymore, nothing I say could be true or matter because I’m now just the goofy accident prone spacy girl. My family literally calls me Spacy

And ya know what sometimes I just let people think that because it’s easier, it’s easier than explaining that I’m dyslexic and that I didn’t have a single geography/history clas until 10th grade and shocker the capital of Iowa doesn’t come up much by then. And it’s easier for me to laugh off losing my keys again than dwell on the fact that sometimes it feels like I’m losing my marbles.

And I wouldn’t be at all surprised if after this post I get a lot more “fact checkers” and push back on anything else I post.(not talking about people who want to genuinely engage,y’all are always welcome, I’m talking those people who don’t wanna look it up themselves but no longer trust me to know what I’m talking about)

Kami is a sweet brilliant boy. He’s in a nationally high ranking school, he loves the weather channel, he’s careful about his quirk that could easily hurt his friends in combat, he has a very high emotional intelligence level, he wears dorky shirts with electricity puns on them, and he pays attention to his friends and remembers a lot of little things about them.

He wants to be a hero and he takes that seriously, and the series has tried time and time again to tell y’all that smiling and laughter are an important part of that. Kami excels at this part! So what if his history grades don’t rival the top of the class, the top 5 students would struggle hard to do what Kami does.

Iida can’t relax, Momos rather shy, Todo struggles with social cues, Midoriya is canonically not funny, and jfc where to even begin with Katsuki. I’m certain they’ll all grow up to be excellent heros in their own right, but none of them are going to bring the level of joy and camaraderie that Denki can. You can’t test that into someone.

Kami also just notices people differently and has any easy way of joining in with them, he doesn’t struggle approaching Katsuki or Shinso. Sure he doesn’t hit the the nail on the head the same way Deku does but he’s the only one who has the guts and skills to try. Also he’s not that kinda friend, he’s not looking to a save these guys but pal around with them

I think Kami 100% realizes what a special case and tough nut to crack Bakugo is, I don’t think he’s just careless or too dumb realize his life’s at stake or whatever.

I think he’s purposely testing Bakugos boundaries all while trying to not be a threat to Katsukis actual ego and calling Bakugo out when he needs it in a way that not to serious. Kami knows how to be just goofy enough that he’s approachable. He’s also keyed in that the way to Bakugo is through Deku, meanwhile everyone else is stuck believing the opposite.

Kami also realized how important music is to Jiro and saw an opportunity to let her display her skills and combin the two worlds she lives, and he wasn’t afraid to get some back lash from her for it.

Like Deku Kami isn’t afraid to be uncomfortable. You really can’t teach that level of social ease, you can teach the posture and feed people a couple of lines but it’ll never hit the same. Funny approachable people have spent a lifetime learning the craft, usually out of necessity.

It’s actually what gives me the biggest adhd vibes from him, because adhd is (speculated to be) a dopamine deficiency disorder. People with adhd are constantly trying to raise their dopamine levels, and that means looking for praise and reward and nothing makes the human brain light up faster than postative human connections.

Adhd children struggle a lot with connecting with peers and often find making people laugh a fast way into people’s circles and makes it more likely people will overlook being interrupted or spaced out on.

Also adhd people are pretty much forced by their own brain structures to be genuine in all they do, low dopamine levels make it very hard to do things you don’t enjoy because there no promise of dopamine from the activity and you don’t have enough to spare, plus impulsiveness makes it really hard to not show when you do or don’t enjoy something.

I agree that Kami is also painted as overly perverted at times, he’s a little flirty but in a fun casual way but it’s not the foundation of his personality and it’s really mellowed out over the course of the series.

And while I subscribe to the bi hc from his interactions with Jiro and Shinso, we should all be very mindful that we don’t lump these characteristics together. The are separate facets of his personality that are not dependent on each other in anyway.

Kami deserves all the respect and love, I can’t wait to see our electric king again 🖤⚡️🖤

[kylosrehn]

aos for the ask meme. or, if you've already gotten that (or you just wanna do both) the wider MCU.

the first character i ever fell in love with: Skye. Or Ward. I can’t really remember which came first. Probably Skye because she was so relatable and quirky and positive but I also loved grumpy pretending-not-to-care SO Ward. 

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: Skye… or Daisy I guess. I started losing interest around halfway through S2 with the whole Afterlife plot (and then just stopped watching the show altogether after the S2 finale lol) but S3 was the one that really left a bad taste in my mouth. And the start of S4 with emo vigilante Daisy. I don’t dislike her, but it’s a far cry from the love I had for her in the early days. Same with Jemma, actually. I really liked her in S1, this cute, quirky if slightly awkward scientist willing to bend the rules when she believes it’s the right thing to do. Afterwards things got… complicated. I like her more on her own, outside of FS scenes (which, when does that ever happen?) Can she/they ever have a storyline that doesn’t involve saving the other one? For science? No?

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: Hmm… I don’t think I have one? Once I decide I like something, I fall for it pretty hard. lol. I guess Daisy/Lincoln. That’s a funny one, because when they sort of started flirting in S2 I liked the idea of them together, and I thought they had a lot of potential. But once it actually happened I wasn’t into it at all. It felt kinda rushed and I just didn’t really see any chemistry between them. It was an ‘expectations vs. reality’ sort of thing for me.

my ultimate favorite character™: Oh gosh… Fitz, I guess? I mean, obviously I’m trash for Ophelia but I actually wasn’t all that fond of the whole Aida arc at the beginning… I liked her more in the Framework, and all the potential she had as a human (or Inhuman, whatever.) It’s funny because he sort of grew on me. I admittedly didn’t pay much attention to him in S1 because I was so wrapped up in Skyeward, but once they killed that storyline and started developing his character from the nerdy sidekick/comic relief to an actual, fleshed-out character dealing with brain damage, then yes I became involved. Still mourned the untimely demise of Skyeward in S2 though.

prettiest character: Fitz or Ward if it’s more ‘handsome’ pretty. Out of the ladies… Daisy, I suppose? Also Stephanie Malick because personal bias - yes I’ve loved Bethany Joy Lenz since One Tree Hill and they totally should’ve let her stick around for longer than two episodes god damn it.

my most hated character: I’m not particularly fond of Jemma. Or what they’ve done with her, I suppose. But god damn it if there’s one character I hate it’s Ruby. Really glad that arc is over.

my OTP: This one’s pretty obvious. Skye/Ward and Fitz/Ophelia. Hehe. 

my NOTP: Fitzsimmons sorry not sorry.

favorite episode: (In no particular order): 5.14, 4.16 and 1.17. Self Control and, frankly, all the Framework episodes, are strong contenders, but that’s my podium. 

saddest death: I’ve got to say Fitz. Mostly because it was so sudden and I honestly wasn’t expecting it at all. I genuinely didn’t think they’d have the balls to kill off one half of FS, especially on-screen. I was literally expecting him to miraculously pull through and just have his legs amputated or something. It felt so surreal. Of course, then they brought CryoFitz back into play so really it was all just one big cop-out (figures) but the shock factor was definitely there. It was just the right amount of sad and downright distressing and even unsettling, with the way he didn’t fully comprehend what was happening and just…slipped away. I also really liked how they didn’t cheapen the moment by making it all about FS, which was… honestly such a nice surprise? I preferred the shocked and unaware approach they took, and how he spent his last moments with… kind of the two most unlikely people - May whom he hasn’t ever really bonded with, a relationship which is made especially awkward by their experience in the Framework and the ‘super villain interrogation’ in 5.15; and Mack, who literally told him days or even hours earlier that he needs ‘fixing.’ It was all very weird and bizarre and surprising, and definitely felt like a solid punch to the gut. At least, until they straight up announced they’re going to essentially retcon it… Eh. Also, Ophelia? Maybe less sad and more just downright disturbing and gratuitously violent and graphic. 

favorite season: If Season 1 and 4.16-20 and 5.14 could somehow be merged into one season… that would be it. lol. Overall, I have to say S1. Most people hate it and call it the weakest season and, sure, it felt very formulaic and had this predictable ‘monster of the week’ format at first but it was genuinely enjoyable to watch. Every other season after that I just found myself getting angry at something. lol. I actually liked pretty much every character in S1 to some degree and because nothing was set in stone or made explicitly canon yet, there was a lot more freedom shipping-wise. There was no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ ship, or ‘no you can’t like this character because of X, Y, Z’ it was just whatever you were into. For a while it seemed like pretty much all combinations of the Bus Kids ships had a decent chance of sailing. That’s a pretty damn good feeling. 

least favorite season: Hands down Season 5. I wasn’t a fan of Season 3 either (though admittedly I did like certain episodes/aspects of it) and Season 2 could’ve done without that whole ‘Real SHIELD’ plot but Season 5 takes the cake. I mean… seriously. It was a let down, especially after the hugely successful Framework arc (the show’s strongest point so far imo.) So naturally there was a lot of expectation and it kind of fell flat. They had maybe 2 or 3 strong episodes. The rest was riddled with plot holes, blatant fan service, lines that sounded like they pulled straight from fanfic, radical and often inexplicable shifts in character behaviour from one episode to the next that could be classified as borderline character assassination, frequent lack of continuity, too much time spent on characters that ultimately turned out to be irrelevant/got quickly killed off, writers seemingly forgetting what had happened in literally the previous episode, etc. There’s really no excuse for that mess. lol. Not to mention the at times pretty obvious budget cuts and the lack of decent lighting which made the space pod downright unwatchable at times. Really feels like the weakest, most disjointed and confused season of all. Which is a shame. Because it could’ve been great. But it just really… wasn’t.

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: I don’t want to say Jemma but… Jemma? I guess part of the problem is that I feel there tends to be a discrepancy between the actual canonic on-screen representation of Jemma and fanon Jemma, at least in my experience. She (and Daisy) seem to get put on this imaginary pedestal a lot of the time and given leeway and all these concessions that other characters aren’t allowed. Sometimes I think I hate fandom’s approach to and treatment of certain characters more than I hate the actual character. Also, Mack and Bobbi? I feel like they’re pretty massive fandom faves as well and I never really got invested in them. I don’t hate them, they’re just… Meh. 

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: Leopold, the ultimate trash fave. Hehe. He’s just so deliciously messed up and complex and it’s so much fun to explore all of that. He’s like the one villain AOS completely unintentionally got right. Magnetic, charismatic, complicated. Sure, he only ever really shows up in about five episodes but in those five or six episodes they build a really solid character. We’re not told or shown everything, but that’s the point. Sometimes the implication is enough - and it’s super fun to fill in those gaps. And those suits. I mean, c’mon. lol

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: Literally no one on this show is a cinnamon roll anymore. lol. I think Ophelia easily could’ve had a really satisfying redemption arc if the writers were actually willing to get into that instead of just shelving their more complex characters and turning to the safe option of ‘let’s kill the baddie.’ Ward could’ve possibly been redeemed too (up to a certain point at least) but I guess part of his appeal is that he didn’t want to be? Uh… and out of the still alive ones (kind of??), Fitz. He’s had a really tough time literally since S2. I also liked Mace and Radcliffe and I kind of wish they got to stick around for a bit longer.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: Fitz/Ophelia. Obviously. I guess one of the more weirder ones is Hive/Stephanie. That’s… not remotely canon (I mean, I guess they kissed? lol) but in my headcanon Framework verse it is. Let’s be honest, there’s probably tons more because I always latch on to the more obscure stuff, but I can’t really think of anything else at the moment.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: Philinda and Mackelena. I don’t ship either but I guess I can kind of see the appeal and I wish them all the best for the sake of the shippers because both of these pairings are frequently overshadowed by… well, the main ship. I can totally understand and sympathize with their frustration. 

[kaknzn]

Headcanon: About Kakuzu’s personality, sexuality, and past.

     Okay I’ve been waiting to write out this headcanon for my roleplay blog for like a fucking week because I wanted to have enough of a brain to get things across properly. I���ve been thinking about this particular headcanon since I was like 13, so just bear with me okay?

     Kakuzu identifies as Gay, but he is bisexual and I will get into why later in this post.

     I want to start off by discussing the way I noticed that Kakuzu treats people. One, Kakuzu has a temper. It’s stated canonly that Kakuzu has killed three of his previous partners, and that his temper was to blame. I wanted to think about what triggered his temper, and I decided that it comes down to a lack of what he considers respect.

     Respect for his ideals, respect for his money, respect for his privacy, are the three kind of... big ones. I’ll probably make an entirely separate post for his morals and where his lines are and what’s too far. But people who tend to disrespect him are the people who trigger that legendary temper and end up dead. 

     Kakuzu, I believe, had a level of respect for the shinobi of the leaf. He definitely warned Hidan not to underestimate his opponents, and even talked about how Shikamaru was analytical in a rather considering light. I realize he wasn’t as bright and sunny about it as some might be, but I do think he has an understandable level of animosity toward the Leaf Village after what happened with his own. It’s a bit of a sore spot for him. 

     I think, that underneath all of these perceptions of who Kakuzu is, he’s actually rather polite and business like. As long as he’s treated well, he’s likely to treat someone well in return in a general sense. He isn’t just going to get angry at every little hairtrigger thing. Someone accidentally bumping into him? Eh. But that person bumping into him and being like “Watch it pal!”, that’s gonna piss him off a bit. 

     I wouldn’t say that he’s... chill. I would say that he’s really rather scrutinizing, and hard to please. He has a sharp tongue, and a sharp wit, and a strong drive to amass wealth. Which kinda brings me to Hidan.

     Hidan can’t die.  Hidan is generally a little prick when it comes to Kakuzu. They have clashing ideals, and attitudes, and still Kakuzu takes the time to check on him, collect his headband, sew him together, praise him, and be respectful. I noticed that Kakuzu doesn’t step inside of Hidan’s Jashinist circles while he’s praying, and I also noticed that he doesn’t interfere with Hidan’s fights unless he’s really needed. When Hidan apologizes, Kakuzu seems to drop his animosity.  I actually think that despite how much they clash, there is a genuine fondness for Hidan.

     Whether that fondness comes from a curiosity about his immortality, the mechanics of it, or from some facet of Hidan’s personality [um...], it’s hard to tell looking at Canon. Personally, I like to think he enjoys having someone around that can take his anger and still stick with him. It’s a bit of a relief to be able to go all out on someone and have them throw it all right back. For these reasons, my Kakuzu in particular would consider Hidan a friend. You’ll never hear him say it out loud though.

     Which brings me to my next point. 

     I’m really confused about why Kakuzu’s village persecuted him so quickly. It could be because of the level of the mission, or to keep village secrets, or simply to repay the person who ordered the mission in the first place [which I think could have been Madara??? Idk].

     Kakuzu’s village was smaller. I feel like it would have had a bit of an old time, small down mentality. When Kakuzu was growing up, he grew up in a nation that was at war. 

     My personal fanon for his background is that his father was KIA when he was under a year old. His mother had married his father for status, and when he died there turned out to be less status than he lead on, and no money. Kakuzu’s father loved him and his mother dearly, but they ended up in a very impoverished side of town. The house he grew up in was fairly run down. His mother grew to resent him, and was fairly cold, and rather abusive emotionally/physically. He was never allowed to be angry with her, and so he grew up with all of that anger bottled inside of him.

     When he was 14/15, his mother abandoned him to marry another man for status, and shortly after he was bitten by a rat and fell ill. Without money, he couldn’t afford medicine. He almost died during this time, but ended up pulling though. This gave him a fear of rats. 

     But to tie everything together: I wonder if during his time in his village, after he was abandoned by his mother, if Kakuzu was possibly outed as Gay. Then, in a warring time where people would be pressured to be together to procreate, in a small town with a small town mentality, Kakuzu would be rather singled out. Even by his peers.

     Despite this, up until he failed that big mission, I feel like Kakuzu had faith in humanity, and loyalty to his village. Even if he knew that perhaps they weren’t ever going to love him, he had a job to do. So he was loyal, he did his job, and when he failed, they didn’t hesitate to get rid of the round peg from the square hole. So all that anger, all that building animosity, all that unfairness pushed him over the edge and he slaughtered the elders. 

     Now that he doesn’t have to push that anger away, he doesn’t. Now that he has money? He saves it. He’s self sufficient, and never has to rely on any other person to support him ever again. Money, is the only thing that ever really mattered. 

     But I also believe that Kakuzu doesn’t think a whole lot about his sexuality. Because I don’t think he really believes it matters anymore. He’s more focused on money than he ever is on finding anyone to care about. I feel like in his youth, he knew himself as a gay man, so when people ask, that’s what he holds onto. He’s not yet familiar with himself enough in this regard to fully self identify as bisexual.

[vmheadquarters]

ASK THE FANDOM--RESPONSES

Here’s this week’s Ask the Fandom question:

I’m curious as to whether fans think that Logan is a well-read individual? He throws around large words like anthropomorphic and was enrolled in the newspaper class, which could hint at a love or enjoyment of the written word. I also find it interesting that many non-Navy Logan fics have him working in the journalism or literary industry. Is there a hint of this in canon?

And here’s what you had to say:

@leuberpwnage--Briefly: little hints are dropped about Logan's appreciation of literature (and film, and television, and music...) left and right. Along with the constant allusions ranging from Citizen Kane to Beach Boys to Prince, he references tons of literature (in his usual sly way). 1984 is not, in fact, the only book he has read.

If the asker was referring to his fanon penchant for writing, I point them to that one time when he actually tried and out-wrote all of the other kids' preppy essays. He may have used an uncredited quote or two from a cult movie, but that doesn't negate the pages and pages of quality writing that undoubtedly followed (for a high-schooler, in any case).

@cheshirecatstrut--Yes, I think there’s lots of evidence to suggest that, despite his skater-bro fight-club persona, Logan reads a lot and is good with language.

1) He’s very well-spoken–no ums or uhs, no incorrect grammar, uses lots of big words. Also he’s verbally witty and makes many literary/historical/pop culture allusions in conversations.

2) His inspirational voicemail messages are quotes from classic novelists.

3) He’s a good writer, as evinced by the fact that he won an essay contest. (The Easy Rider speech is about 2 paragraphs long and the essay was multiple pages–he wrote the bulk of it). 

4) His test scores were high enough to get him into Hearst, an elite private college. Even if he aced math, he wouldn’t be accepted with a low verbal score, and he says at one point he’s bad at math. So we should assume he aced verbal and did moderately well on math.

5) He seems to take mostly liberal arts classes in college (mass comm, sociology, classes that require essay tests) and these subjects require a ton of reading, good comprehension skills, and the ability to write well.

6) When he and Veronica argue, he almost always shuts her down, although she’s extremely intelligent and expresses herself well. No other character on the show is capable of out-arguing Veronica, not even Keith.

@millenderj--@cheshirecatstrut you said it perfectly!!

@absolutelyiris--That’s it! All points valid. The issues for Logan have always been discipline, drive and self-esteem, all of which he lacked. I personally never considered Logan to be dumb, just unwilling to push himself beyond what’s necessary. He knows a lot of obscure references, nice “SAT” words, seems to be Brain to Dick’s Pinky, and keeps up with Veronica consistently, there’s no reason to think he’s stupid, really. That’s why I always found Veronica basically calling him a meathead in Wichita Linebacker to be such a low blow- and judging by his response, he thought it to be hurtful as well. Dude isn’t dumb.

@iamjmgardner--I think some of the confusion stems from the problematic characterization of Logan in S3.  S1 and S2 Logan, for all intents and purposes, is a pretty decent student. I mean, he keeps attending school, even winning an essay contest well after he’s the only one responsible for himself and his dad is arrested.  Not to mention the fact that he still takes the SATs/ACTs and standardized tests in preparation for … something … so we can assume that whether he planned to go to college or not, he at least covered his basis.

During the S1 and S2, we have Logan voicemail messages from several writers that all speak to him being a literati on some level.

S3, for whatever reason, decided to play up the “Logan is a total meathead slacker who only fights, goes to weight-lifting, and barely passes his classes.” Frankly, this is a bullshit and not really in-line with the character we saw during S1 and S2.  Now, if you want to tell me that Logan starts doing poorly in college because he’s struggling with grief, depression, guilt, and all the rest of it from the traumatic ending of S2…then, yes, I could see that, but Logan doing poorly in S3 because he’s “not smart” or witty or clever, I don’t believe.

Now, is Logan a reader or well-read?

Let’s take a look:

In the main rooms of Logan’s home, there are no books to speak of not even on the bookshelves.

And remember that one time Mr. Echolls reads a book?

In the few glimpses, we get of Logan’s room though, he has books on his shelves, and while I can’t make out any of the titles, they’re not just school books but ones that live there full-time

Reading is a form of escapism, a chance to experience another world, another person’s life, and to get away from your own for awhile.  With everything we know about Logan’s life, I think it’s safe to say that he needed an ongoing outlet and way to escape from that, so, yes, I think he’s well-read.

@happilyshanghaied--Agree with all of this, except I don’t think Dick is ‘Pinky’ to Logan’s ‘Brain’. He’s not dumb either. I think Dick cultivates a shallow, idiot persona bc his Dad always preferred the popular dudebro son over the geeky math genius son. I find it hard to believe anybody closely related to Cass would be stupid. Also, he’s extremely witty and often holds his own bantering with Veronica. And like…he somehow got into Hearst?

RE: Logan

I always had the impression Logan was better read than Veronica and definitely more sophisticated and worldly. IMO Logan’s intelligence is what Veronica likes most about him (and vice versa). I always headcanoned little Logan reading Lynn’s scripts with her to help her practice her lines. Maybe if she was filming a literary adaptation, he read the original with her?There’s a reason people like to write Logan as a writer so often.

@shesgotalionsheart--Oh yay! This is actually my question!

I suspect that Logan is genuinely an avid reader; an activity that contributes heavily to his repertoire of snappy comebacks and skills as a writer. Although we mostly saw references to his hobbies which include surfing and video games, I feel like he would retreat to books in private moments when he isn’t entertaining the masses. My head canon is that Logan used books as a release from the real world, in which his dad abused him and his mom was an alcoholic. Because in books the hero of the story can be true to himself/herself and react in ways that are not always feasible in real life. 

@adorkableauthor (via twitter)-- Yes. I think Logan was well read and did well in school, even if he came off as a slacker. I think he made references to things that he would only know of if he was an active reader.

@isa (via twitter)--Yes. Logan is well read and he enjoys reading but doesn't care to show it, Even though if you have a conversation with him and he cares enough he will show you how much he knows about the topic.

[yumi-michiyo]

For You I’d Burn the Length and Breadth of Sky [4/4] - with extended author’s notes

Rating: M for strong language, adult themes, sexual content

Genre: Supernatural/Drama/Romance/Angst/Family/Tragedy/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort/"Romance"

Pairings: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray, Rachel Berry/Noah Puckerman, Rachel Berry/Santana Lopez, mentioned Santana/Lopez/Finn Hudson, Brittany Pierce/Finn Hudson, mentioned Rachel Berry/Jesse St. James, Rachel Berry/Cassandra July, Rachel Berry/Brody Weston

Summary: She already knows Quinn Fabray is more than just a pretty face; she just didn't know it would take a few lifetimes to find out how much more. Post-canon, AU divergence. A oneshot of epic proportions.

Links: FF.net | AO3

On the writing process:

Have I bitten off more than I can chew?

This was a thought that crossed my mind repeatedly as I worked on this chapter. The plot was labyrinthine, the characters' motivations were all over the place, the timelines clashed, the dialogue was confusing. I keep a writing notebook in which I jot down prompts, ideas, plot threads etc., and this was one of the rare times that it didn't help.

I think one of the reasons for the difficulty was that unlike the first two chapters, 85% of the content wasn't planned. The characters (especially Santana) didn't want to cooperate. I only had an idea of what I wanted the endgame to be, and I spent time trying to herd the characters in that direction.

I have always been a multishipper/non-canon shipper at heart, and this was no exception though it does seem I've gone overboard with the sheer number of pairings squeezed into one fic. This chapter, in particular with the Santana/Rachel, drew a lot of inspiration from the incomparable you're just another song and dance by acid_glue234, in terms of the structure and the girls' interactions. This fanfic, out of all the fanfics in my history of fandoms, came the closest to switching my OTP.

There has been a lot of hints and clues about the setting in Rachel's real life scattered through the entire fic. While readers may enjoy picking through the fic to gather them, everything will be made clear in the epilogue.

The original draft of the story had the entire thing ending with Rachel leaving the voicemail, Quinn picking up almost immediately after, Rachel answering, and... fade to black. I don't know whether it's a good thing or not that I decided that since the entire thing had changed so radically, it wouldn't make sense not to add an epilogue.

I love Easter eggs, and sprinkling subtle references to other works of mine. Besides the obvious recycling of names from my headcanons, there are minute details that come from my other fics. They aren't relevant to any plot twists or big reveals; they're just there for my own entertainment as I go through the long, painful process of editing.

After completing this fic (including the epilogue and the letter written by wheelchair!Quinn), I have one more fic in the works before I officially retire from writing Glee fanfic. Honestly, I've covered all the pairings I like and plenty of Faberry tropes in one story: post-accident, future!fic, college friendships, friends turned lovers, post-canon, unrequited...

On Rachel Berry:

Rachel is, in a word, tired. She's gone through a whole lot of living (spoiler: it'll come back to haunt her back in her real life). She's been in relationships with a whole lot of people, done a lot of things without really feeling the consequences, and for the first time, is feeling stuck. I wrote her as being displaced; she hasn't really let her first two 'deaths' sink in.

This iteration of Rachel is less involved in keeping up appearances than the previous two; the first Rachel was genuinely happy to explore the what if's left by Finn's death. The second was a little more cautious, threw everything into a relationship with Quinn, and was broken by it. In this chapter, Rachel does realise that she's not as concerned about 'playing her part' as the previous times. As a result, she's more reckless, impulsive, and callous; notably in her promiscuity and the cold way she treats Puck.

The feel of this chapter is more of Rachel applying meta thought to her 'life', as opposed to 'living'. She is more detached from her surroundings, especially when things get complicated with Santana. I wrote Rachel with the idea of 'introspection' in mind; the time spent living life all over again has given her plenty of time to reflect on the things that have gone wrong in her real life, and we see that she's starting to change.

Rachel doesn't pursue Santana, like she does Finn and Quinn. She only falls for her after a period of soul-searching, and only after giving herself permission to fall. In other words, she makes a conscious decision to love Santana after clearing her conscience (is Quinn real, or 'real real'? Who knows?).

On Noah Puckerman:

Noah Puckerman has never been one of my favourite characters on Glee - I'm one of those people who think that his impregnating Quinn is equal to rape, the bad boy archetype isn't a favourite of mine, and the rest of his antics aren't particularly impressive (not to mention he's one of the victims of the show's writing). My Noah (and the fandom's Noah) is a simple guy who's rough around the edges but has a heart of gold.

Noah's also gotten the short end of the stick in this chapter. Since the story's told from Rachel's point of view, and she's pretty distant and preoccupied with her own problems (and Quinn), little is known about Noah's feelings. I write him as someone who's in love with Rachel despite her many shortcomings and is unfailingly loyal, despite her ignoring him, and the Season Four!Finn stunt she pulls on him.

On Santana Lopez:

Santana, in my opinion, is one of the great success stories of Glee. She goes from Quinn's backup singer/dancer and henchwoman to one of the main characters (rewatching the show reminded me of how much I hate canon!Rachel). I have always loved the strong woman with a vulnerable side trope, and no one embodies the character type better than Santana (and Naya).

Rachel does note that this Santana is softer around the edges than canon!Santana. It's mentioned in the fic that without Quinn, Santana is the unchallenged queen bee of McKinley, and is more secure in her identity and accepting that she is lesbian. For that reason, she doesn't victimise Rachel, or see the need to reinforce the strict social hierarchy.

Another cornerstone of the fic is the friendship between Kurt, Santana, and Rachel AKA two-and-a-half-gays. There was little opportunity to explore the daily, snarky interaction between the trio in the previous two chapters, so I think I might have gone a bit overboard with that. I do love writing snarky dialogue.

I headcanon Santana as being one of those people Nat King Cole sang about:

When I fall in love, it will be forever...

Another of my favourite tropes are people who fall in love without even realising it, and that's pretty much what happens on Santana's part.She doesn't start to move on from Brittany until she sees how happy Brittany is with someone else, and even then it takes a while before she starts to see Rachel in another light.

Santana, like Quinn, is one of those unfortunate people shafted in the hurriedly-cobbled-together ending of Glee. We don't know what she ends up doing with her life. We have no clue what are her likes and dislikes, or her aptitude and quirks. Based on the scant information we're given, I headcanon Santana to be involved in music production and/or songwriting, otherwise a television actress. In this chapter, I stole Sara Bareilles' excellent song Morningside for Santana. Sadly, there is no awesome slow and sexy acoustic version to link to, but I think it would sound amazing.

On Brittany Pierce:

I'll admit the sole Finn/Brittany fic that I have read and loved is thememoriesfire's duck sauce, meet bear cheese. It not only sold me on this pairing as something not cracky, but also showed a realistic portrayal of how these two would interact.

Generally, I don't write Brittany because I'm not sure I understand her, and thus can do her character justice. But Brittany was crucial to the plot, to help Santana open herself to falling for other people, to provide the catalyst to get Rachel and Santana talking again, and to help Rachel make her decision to fall for Santana.

There are several versions of Brittany in fanon, and this is one of the versions I enjoy best; the one who lives on a slightly different plane of reality that only intersects with the one everyone else lives in.