#also fuck the bots for fucking with tags

[aqueouserbium]

First if all, people claiming that there is no algorithm on Tumblr are wrong, since shit like this pops up on my feed:

Also, this is the funniest bot shit I get to see, and it happens at least once every other week.

I am not tagging this as mature because it hasn't been tagged as such by the algorithm that just handed it to me.

[cybertron-after-dark]

I keep making the joke that pulling up to Griffin Rock is the closest thing to a vacation Optimus ever gets, and that's true like 90% of the time when there's a crossover episode, but man. Getting trapped in an alternate dystopian timeline for a bit must have left some interesting emotional scars.

[beatcroc]

today im mad about omega being TWO ENTIRE FEET shorter than the predecessor e-100s

gamma on the left, omega on the right. imagine being a pissed off killer robot but youre not even 5 feet tall. and your kindly self-sacrificial nerd of a cousin got to be 7 whole feet.

like do you understand what that looks like.

this is absurd. that's stupid. you'd think it's bad scaling on my part because gamma has no official art where he's standing mostly straight and at an easily-comparable angle, but no it's consistent with sigma's scrapnik ref, these guys are literally just fucking massive for no reason

the sa1 e-series guys aren't even proportioned like 7' guys they look like they should be like 5'. look at omegas tiny fucking head. omega literally has the build and proportions to be a proper giant killer robot but hes fucking 4' 11'' because he has to play nice with the funny little furries and thus can only be a specific magnitude larger and more imposing than them. *i* should not be nearly a whole foot taller than omega. i could lean condescendingly on his tiny fucking head. maybe he would have been more willing to give eggman another chance if they hadn't shrunk all his rage into a 4-foot frame. im choosing to believe also this is why he's a solid 50% heavier than gamma as well. dude is compact. dude is DENSE. and he is so very full of guns and rage. i dont know what the doctor expected

[foodtruckery]

Please please please wax poetic about the transformers gf au. Never seen transformers but i think the fact that in a stancest adjacent au ford would be competing with stan’s fucking car for his love is absolutely hilarious

the car has been on more dates with stan than ford ever will 😭 full stop believe ford is dragging stan on the boat to get him away: no roads, no damn car!! he’s the world’s greatest advocate for public transport now!!

anon, this has been fucking KILLING ME since you sent it. it is, of course, my solemn duty as a bitch who saw the first bayverse transformers movie 13 times in theaters (don't come for me) to recommend giving any one of the series or movies or comics a shot!

but holy fuck hahahahaha. ford vs the giant alien robot for stan's affection is so fucking good. cause it's not JUST that stan would clearly be entirely too enamored by his car -- that's just stan, sentient robot component or not. but it's that a) the vehicle is clearly an anomaly and ford has FEELINGS about that. in any other situation, being presented with an opportunity to observe an extraterrestial lifeform like this would be a dream come true! but let's be real here: stan never cared about anomalies the way ford did. the only anomaly stan had EVER really cared about was ford himself. so for stan to suddenly be soooo interested in this one? ford isn't jealous, of course, it just doesn't make logical sense!

and then there's b) the robot has taken ford's place in stan's life. stan would never say it that way, of course, but ford isn't an idiot, he's a genius and he has 12 phd's to prove it. the way stan confides in his damn car, looks to it for reassurance, trusts it to have his back, to keep him safe, to help him out of a bind. he has inside jokes with the damn thing and a nickname and is more comfortable sleeping tucked up on its backseat than inside of ford's house?! those are ford's responsibilities, the gaps that used to be filled with ford's presence and comfort and voice. and he can't even say any of it because the stupid fucking car was there when ford wasn't. and maybe if it hadn't been, stan would have gotten over himself and reached out sooner! before ford got tangled up in all of this.

because OF COURSE, we have c) the fact that stan made contact with an extraterrestrial creature and does not seem to have entered into a bargain that's likely to get him killed the way ford has. stan has companionship with this creature. a companionship that at least appears to be recipriocated. there's no binding clause forcing them to stay together. stan has managed to not only find and befriend an anomaly, the likes of which ford has never seen, but he also seems to have developed a genuine connection with it. it's bad enough that stan was good with PEOPLE in a way that ford never was, but for him to also have that touch with the one thing ford was supposed to be good with????? and ford finding out probably in the midst of or sometime after being fucked over by bill?? i think that would fucking eat ford alive.

[icy-gendango]

Wait a second...

Horror Attraction! Moon meets a liberated DCA. His word is forever changed.

link to full of first image here

[mychlapci]

i have a fantasy about driving a transformer around and for some reason, maybe some decepticons saw us or something, to keep our cover we've gotta stop at a gas station. so i stop, i park, i get ready to pump the gas, and they cant even tell me not to do it because that would give them away, so they stay quiet as i basically fuck their valve with the gas pump. and theyre squirming in their altmode trying to keep their engine from rumbling, fans from clicking on, fluids spurting around the gas pump as they struggle to hold back an overload... or maybe they overload embarrassing quickly and have to hold back the shudders as their overstimulated valve keeps getting filled...

[chocochococoffee]

shang qinghua saying "thanks for the purchase" and eating shen yuan out (whatever choice) after every purchase of a new PIDW episode plus specials

[shitty-proendo-blackout-posts]

[sunshineram]

mr snag

[doodlingwren]

It's again that time of the week where I have to go and report the spam and/or porn bots from the tags I follow because every time I see one of their posts on my dashboard I die inside a little bit

[whatudottu]

Hey, hey Shockwave? Your fucked up clone is digging through the butcher's off-cuts

AKA I watched a video about Tarrare and also found a similarly hungry lad during the same time that apparently ate 174 cats dead or alive

[applescabs]

Official Persona Protagonist Names;

Tepelini Tostini & Caesar Salade

Berend Bot & May Ham

[i-mean-technically]

#some of these words are just so???#''still believes in the system even after getting fucked with no lube by it'' is 100% a metal as hell line#tfa#maccadam#also your tags???#tfa megop is so hilarious when done right#And Optimus manages to beat his aft Several times even if he's just ''maintenance prime''#that's more times than fucking Sentinel has won against a Decepticon#Tfp au Optimus is honestly based a bit on tfa Optimus because i say so#and another fucked up bit is how fast things went downhill after Sentinel became magnus#that boy went full 100 with his paranoia

@transingthoseformers making another post bc i'm about to rant

first of all i'm gald you find my phrasing humorous XDDD life's too short not to enjoy it and since i wouldn't make it in prison unique phrasing will have to do lmao

and TFA megop!!!!! i think it has some of the most written for it but most of it is Not for me ya know? no shade, but Optimus is almost always made into some uwu baby when he's a GREMLIN and would sell Megatron's soul for one corn chip. (also Primus and Unicron apparently don't exist in TFA which has me 👀👀👀 bc that has some interesting connotations)

Optimus manages to make peace with an alien race, keep the Allspark out of Decepticon hands, regularly kicks their asses, while also basically raising an alien child that he got surprise custody of. and that's just season 1. Sentinel had his paranoia fanned and abused by Ultra Magnus, given power he wasn't ready for, and possibly also mind fucked to make him more compliant, bc it was Sentinel's idea to go down on Arachna 9.

both Optimus and Sentinel questioned things, and once Optimus was cut at the knees and thought to be neutered they turned their sights on Sentinel and made him into exactly what they wanted.

then he got a position that he never should have in the first place. bc his paranoia is so severe, imo, he shouldn't be in a position of power like that. he would be GREAT in an advisory setting tho.

and things shouldn't have gone to shit so fast when Sentinel became Magnus unless it was already that bad and his incompetence just brought the curtain down.

[scribe-of-hael]

"Don't touch my BLOODY engine room!"

Meet the ReWire! Head engineer for the Defiance!

The Defiance is a ship Captained by Growlwire. Rewire is one of many main crew members I have made with my Partner Common-Evils !

Rewire was first set to the Defiance for his terrible "team work skills" . He a engineer specialist and mostly got in trouble for doing fine tuning thibg when not asked or calling out orders when the head engineers would neglect them.

He has a "Fuck off" attitude but when you get to know his humor and banter , you know that's just how he is. It makes even more sense when I Headcanon him with a Australian Accent.

He very much is a workaholic. Keeping the ship in the best shape it can be and always combat ready. If he's not in the engine room he's scurring around the piping, panels , command center or even in the vents fixing and checking things over. He doesn't particularly like other people helping him or touching his work.

His alt mode is a generator , using himself as a back up to keep the ship online incase anything were to happen. Meaning he also can't traverse like his his crewmates and is significantly smaller than them all. Despite this he has made augments and upgrades to keep up with the crew. including weapons and a mobility pack that can fly and keep up with high speeds.

Depsite his size Rewire is given the upmost respect like everyone eles and is treated as very much an equal among his friends.

He later after the war gets a Conjunx named Lancer who is a Deer maximal !

[ballcrusher74]

The way you talk about Twitter makes it sound terrible is it really that bad?

um

At least . In my personal view of the app and with how long I've been on there, it's a little bad .

I'll just say a couple things : Everything moves by really quick on there . It's like being in front of a big audience and alone on stage . There's some really fucking nasty people on there that I've had to deal with, and I am honestly so deathly afraid of how big I've grown on there, but that also just might be because I'm riddled with a lot of personal issues myself that I am NOT talking about . I don't wanna leave the platform though since that's my main place and I do still somewhat enjoy it, but good fucking lord does it test my patience sometimes

Idk . I have a weird love-hate relationship with the site at this point . um

[vault81]

god who knew that not drinking caffeine, not looking at screens and taking 20-30 mins to recover from said screens makes it WAY easier to sleep