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etherrreal · 4 years ago

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“the things you do for charity”

Pairing: kenma x gn!reader Genre: fluff Summary: kenma's always been a private person, but it was getting increasingly harder to keep his partner off his streams while you live together; so, he decided to join his two loves together for a 24-hour charity stream extravaganza. Word Count: 3,408 Warnings: some swearing, i suppose there are some spoilers from the manga about adult kenma's job? A/N: i'd give my left tit to play some minecraft or mario kart with kenma tbh -Luna

Kenma's career as a popular streamer was one of the many facets of him that shocked you when you’d started dating two years ago. The two of you had first met in an Animal Crossing discord for your city meant for trading and making friends.

After you had gone over to his island to adopt Raymond from him, he let you keep all of your Nook Mile Tickets with the stipulation that you kept in contact with him to "give him updates" about how the cat villager was doing in his new home. His dorky way of trying to flirt with you was what made you pursue him in the first place, and somehow it had led to a very fulfilling relationship.

It was revealed early on that he was a streamer, but he never expanded on it regarding the actual numbers. Curiosity got the best of you one night, and you decided to google him. Besides also learning that he was a YouTuber, you found yourself in awe at the numbers he managed to accumulate across all of his social media.

And if that wasn’t enough, he was also apparently the CEO of his own business.

Once you moved in together around the one-year mark of your relationship, you got to properly witness the amount of work put into streaming and maintaining a social media presence. This also meant that you got to read the wild comments that were left on all of his platforms–and see the occasional surprise nude picture whenever he opened up his DMs around you.

Because of this, Kenma sat you down to have a conversation about your potential appearance on his social media. You both decided by the end of it that his audience would get to know that he was in a committed relationship, but you agreed it would be best to not show your face or reveal any identifying information of yours.

It had been a year since having that conversation, and you’d both stuck to the agreement closely. The most his audience had ever seen of you was your hand whenever you refilled his water bottle for him.

Of course, it was hard sometimes, especially when you had to remain extra quiet around the house and refrain from yelling out a 'baaaabe' whenever you needed something from him, but since he had his own soundproof office, it lessened the room for any accidental error.

Overall, you were content with never showing your face to his audience for the rest of his career. You knew how nasty the internet could get because of their parasocial relationships with influencers and streamers alike, especially when they discovered those influencers and streamers had a partner who wasn't them, even if they knew they never had a chance. You weren't sure your skin was thick enough to deal with rabid angry stans.

Which is why it was so shocking when Kenma decided one day to nix the agreement.

You were in your shared bedroom answering some emails when he came in. He was dressed in a baggy hoodie, sweats, and tied-up hair; his typical look for a stream.

After some time, you noticed that he was still standing in the doorway, not saying anything. When you glanced up at him, you found him awkwardly toying with the strands of hair that had fallen out of his bun, looking down at the ground like he was just waiting for you to notice him.

"Is there something you need, baby?" you asked. "You're just standing there all adorably shy."

"Yeah, so, um, I'm going to be doing a 24-hour stream this weekend to raise money for charity."

"Oh, really? Cool! I guess that means I'll be going to bed alone that night," you joked.

"Yeah, I guess. Um..." He started before scrunching up his face like he was uncomfortable with what he planned to say next.

"What is it? Do you need me to stock up on snacks and energy drinks? Just send me a list. I can pick them up tomorrow."

"No, that's not it. I was thinking of making a stretch goal be you coming on stream so we can play Minecraft or Mario Kart or something...I mean, I totally understand if you don't feel comfortable. I could always replace it with something else. I know they've been wanting to see me dye my hair a bright color and dress up like an e-boy, so--"

"Really!?" you nearly yelled.

"What? That they want me to dress like an e-boy? Yeah, Kuroo said it would–"

"No, I mean..." You tried to fight the confused expression that was growing on your face, but your squinted eyes gave you away. "You really want me on your stream? Like face and all?"

"....Yeah, I really want to be able to share this with you. But don't feel like you have to do it just to make me happy."

It was a large ask when looking at the full picture. Kenma had his fair share of fans and "stans" who lacked boundaries, as seen from a select few who visited your home several times this year, or the handful that found you on social media already just from seeing a glimpse of your college ring on the hand wrapped around Kenma's water bottle.

There could be a chance you could receive direct hate on your social media just because you were a person who dated a popular streamer. You would then be in the public eye with little privacy and have a magnifying glass on all of your actions and words. Anything you did would then reflect on Kenma.

What if you messed something up and then Kenma lost viewers? Would they try to cancel you or him for it?

You backed away from all the negative thoughts before you could spiral and looked at the metaphorical 'pro' column.

If you agreed to appear on his stream, you would no longer have to sneak around your house in fear of being heard or showing up in his face cam. You both wouldn't have to feel guilty playing games off-camera with each other because you knew Kenma could be streaming it instead.

And who knew? Maybe his fans would like you. You had to admit, it would be a nice ego boost knowing that you were accepted by so many people.

And, most importantly: you could physically ask him in person what he wanted for dinner instead of texting him and waiting an hour for a break so he could respond, while you sat in the next room, starving, stuck in an endless cycle of wondering whether you should make a snack or if you should just hold off for dinner.

Maybe this was a good idea.

"Okay,” you decided, “I'll do it."

"Oh... alright. Cool." Kenma was trying his hardest not to show how excited he was that you agreed. When he saw the contemplative look on your face, he was sure you would decide that it'd just be too much work and say no. But hearing you agree made him giddier than he would ever admit to.

Despite the cool and collected façade he thought he was putting on, you saw the smile that threatened to break through and the red tips of his ears. You wondered if he felt the same weight being lifted off his shoulders as you did, knowing that, after this weekend, you'd both be finally out as an official couple to the world.

And, of course, the nausea of having to do all of it live in front of thousands of people. No biggie.

Saturday afternoon came and at 12pm sharp, Kenma began his grueling 24-hour charity stream. The bar had an overall goal of $150,000, and it began filling up at a constant pace right from the start. Donations ranging from $5 to $500 were flowing in rapidly, and you were trying your best not to feel nervous.

You both agreed that if he reached $50,000 within 5 hours, you would join him for an hour or two of Minecraft later that night. Part of you hoped that the donations would slow down and plateau for a bit, but when you saw Kuroo had donated $1000, specifically with the message that he hoped to see you on stream soon, you realized that it was a pipe dream.

So, you had to be your own hype person for now, to get prepared to show your face to thousands of people and not disappoint Kenma.

Whether it was the promise of your face reveal or the people who genuinely adored charity, it took only four hours for Kenma to break $50,000.

When he saw the number update live on stream, the viewers witnessed the most amount of expression Kenma had ever shown: eyes wide as saucers, mouth slightly agape, body frozen. You could see the gears struggling inside his head struggling to turn and comprehend what they all managed to do so early on in the stream.

"Thanks so much, everyone, for being so generous today... I guess this means we'll be having my partner on later tonight," he announced. You watched his chat explode with excitement, his special emotes flying in the chat.

You picked up your phone to shoot Kenma a quick text.

[you]:: hope you're ready to put our minecraft beds together in front of thousands of people 😏

Unsurprisingly, he left you on read. But dating him for this long meant you weren't even a little bit afraid of double or triple texting.

[you]:: maybe we can kiss under the light of an exploding creeper 😫

[you]:: or have a romantic walk through our rainbow sheep while a phantom looms overhead 🥰

It was after the third text when you finally saw him pick up his phone to text you back. You eagerly awaited his response, only to cackle when you read it.

[my sugar daddy]:: im going to replace you with hinata as my partner if you dont stop

Instead of annoying him any further, you set your phone to charge on your nightstand and went into the bathroom to get ready for the stream later.

Once you emerged, you picked up your phone to check the percentage and noticed a text from Kenma stating that he'd have you on at 8pm. You decided to spend the time until then cooking up some dinner for the both of you.

It seemed like time flew by because by the time you were done eating your food, it was 7:45pm. Only fifteen more minutes before you were live in front of all of Kenma's supporters. You refilled your water bottle and sat on the couch, staring at the blank T.V. as you practically dissociated from reality until Kenma came out of his office to retrieve you.

You noticed that he looked just as nervous as you did, despite his face not showing it the way yours did. His shoulders were up to his ears with tension, and his hoodie drawstring was pulled almost all the way through due to him fiddling with it.

He turned briefly to you after he brought you into his office, gesturing to make sure you knew to wait until he gave you the cue. He sat down, unmuted himself, and took down the 'away' screen he had for his audience.

This was it. Everything was going to change in literally ten seconds.

"Well, everyone...please welcome my partner, (Y/N)."

You walked cautiously around his large gaming chair and sat next to him in your modest desk chair that he had rolled into the room for the occasion.

Okay, you thought to yourself, now don't fuck this up.

"Hi, everyone."

Nailed it.

There was a painful moment of silence before the stream finally caught up, and you both heaved a sigh of relief when you saw nothing but declarations of excitement. Amongst the 'AHHHs' and spam of emotes were sweet comments about your appearance and how cute you two looked as a couple. You peeked over at Kenma and saw the ghost of a smile on his lips, elated to know that he was just as relieved as you were.

"Okay, let's start with the gameplay while we answer some questions," he said.

The questions and gameplay started out mild; when did you both start dating, how did you meet, who asked the other out first. They even asked a few simple questions about you specifically, like your favorite anime and your star sign. And while you did see a few bans in the chat after some inappropriate questions –no, you will not tell them the color of your underwear– most were easy and simple enough to answer.

Then they started to get a bit spicier.

"Bokutoslefttit donated $69.69 and asked, 'what is your main pet peeve with Kenma?'" he read, muttering a 'wow' under his breath at the username.

"Ooh, how can I be polite when exposing you?" you pondered while beating a cow to death with your sword. "It's probably how loud he gets whenever he's playing games with his good headphones on."

"I don't get loud," he defended.

"Oh yeah, you do. I've had to come in here several times to tell you to shut up like I'm your mother. I did it literally two days ago when you were playing with Lev."

"... Next question."

You rolled your eyes at his lack of comment but glanced over at the chat to pull up a new question. You stifled a laugh when you read, "Girlboss420 asked 'who has a fatter ass, Kuroo or (Y/N)?'"

"I'm not answering that."

"Come oooon, this is a Q&A. Can't have the Q’s without the A’s."

"Nope."

You were about to start reprimanding him for implying that Kuroo's ass was fatter than yours when you noticed he ran past you with a group of pillagers following closely behind. You turned to head into the house but when you opened the door, you noticed it was blocked off by obsidian.

"You are the absolute worst!" you exclaimed.

You made a break for it, sprinting past the shooting pillagers and around to the front of the house. You made it inside with only 2 hearts to spare. You turned, in real life, to Kenma to see him tight-lipped to avoid smiling about his betrayal.

"I'm moving my bed downstairs for the rest of the stream."

You both carried on with the stream without another incident, turning to the chat every now and again to answer some questions. Kenma even apologized to you by bringing home a horse that was named "I'm sorry."

It was about an hour and a half after you sat down when Kenma decided that he needed a bathroom break. Your heart fell to your ass when you realized that you'd be all alone to entertain his chat. You considered saying that you needed to pee as well, if it meant not having the spotlight on you.

Instead, when he got up to pee, you smiled and asked him to bring you back a snack and a refill. Oh, how the turns have tabled.

In the meantime, you decided to scroll through the chat and some of the donations to pick out another question to answer since Kenma was gone. You were initially looking for a funny or vulgar comment when you saw one that had a completely different vibe.

"Kermithateblog donated $25.00 and asked, 'what's your favorite part about being with Kenma?' Wow, that's a really sweet question. Let me think for a moment."

You paused to reflect on your relationship with Kenma over the two years you’d been together. You'd had your fair share of highs and lows like any other couple, but, in the end, you both learned how to work things out so you were both equally as happy in the relationship.

"So, as you guys know, he's a busy boy with streaming, creating content for YouTube, and also being a CEO of his own company, which all takes up the majority of his time," you began. "But when he finally can shut off his screens and crawls into bed late at night, I know that he's 100% there with me at that moment. He is able to give me his undivided attention and make me feel like his love for me comes above his love for gaming."

You gave a pause, trying not to get too emotional. You rarely got the chance to gush about Kenma because you knew how much he hated having attention on him, so if this was going to be your only opportunity to do so for a while, then you were going to take it.

"What y'all don't know is that he is the biggest baby when it comes to cuddling," you laughed. "He is absolutely the little spoon most of the time, and he loves when I stroke his hair and love on him all night. In a weird way, it makes me feel special and loved knowing that he trusts me enough to be vulnerable with me. I cherish the amount of time we have together because of that."

What you didn't know was that he had come back from refilling your water bottle rather quickly and stood outside the doorway to hear your speech. His heart almost burst when he heard your tender words describing how he made you feel. He knew that you rarely got to hear how much those quiet moments at night meant to him because he was guarded with his feelings.

Which is why he started into the room on a mission.

You smiled as soon as you saw him. "Welcome back, babe, we were just talking about--"

He approached you swiftly and leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. You hardly even got to bask in the moment before he was pulling away, setting down your water bottle as he sat back down with his controller in hand like he didn't just expose to his audience how much of a softy he really was.

It was in that moment when you realized how glad you were that you’d decided to appear on stream because you'd be able to look back at that clip over and over again to relive the intimate moment.

Noon on Sunday came at last. Kenma would finally be free from the prison of his office. Not to mention he could finally get off his ass and stretch.

Between your official appearance on stream and the sign-off, you popped in a few more times to say hello to the chat when you brought him some snacks and drinks. You stayed up through most of the night, although you accidentally napped for a few hours during the dead of night which gave you a little boost in energy.

In the end, the stream was a monumental success. Kenma had even managed to blow past his goal of $150k and make it to over $200k, which meant that he'd be getting the full e-body makeover for his next week of streams.

By the time Kenma came into your bedroom after freshening up and having a small snack, you were already dead asleep with your laptop propped open to show his now offline stream.

He tip-toed around the bed quietly, closed your laptop, pulled the covers up and over your curled-up body, and slipped in himself. As he settled, he felt you shift and grab at his worn t-shirt, opening your eyes slightly just to confirm that it's him.

He pulled you against his chest tightly, his body finally able to relax. He was sure it wouldn't be too long before he completely fell out.

"That was more fun than I thought it'd be," he heard you utter quietly.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." His fingers gently danced across your shoulder blades as you mushed your face into his clean shirt. "I can't believe we raised so much today so quickly."

"I'm so proud of you, baby. You worked so hard on this."

"I also donated $2000 anonymously to speed up the process," he mumbled sheepishly, pressing a gentle kiss on the crown of your head in hopes to lessen the blow of his secret.

It was quiet for a moment, and he wondered if he’d genuinely pissed you off before he felt the vibrations from your laugh against his chest.

"...I can't wait to ruin your hair, e-boy."

Written by: Luna

#kenma x reader #kenma kozume x reader #haikyuu x reader #kenma imagines #haikyuu imagines #kenma x y/n #kenma x you #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#our writing #kenma fluff #haikyuu fluff #luna writes

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akakeiiji · 5 years ago

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this is kind of a weird request so sorry in advance and you don't have to write it if you don't want to of course!!! but could i get hcs for atsumu, oikawa, and terushima with a lesbian best friend? i feel like lesbian + flirty boy is such a power duo because she can give girl advice and they don't have to worry about feelings making things awkward dhkshdkdh sorry again!!

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS REQUEST FBWBBDSF I love the dynamic these three would have with a lesbian best friend, it would be so chaotic, I love it. I based some of these with how I am with my guy friends, I’m not a lesbian but I’m close enough HAHAHA

Also, happy pride you guys 🥺💕 from your local chaotic bi

✂︎・・・masterlist

-`,✎ Atsumu, Oikawa and Terushima with a lesbian best friend

Miya Atsumu

You guys are like the ultimate power couple except you aren’t a couple

Everyone thinks you guys are dating at first because Atsumu isn’t the type who’s openly close and touchy with a girl but when he’s with you, you two are basically attached by the hip, even more so than he is with his brother

But surprise!! You’re gay as gay can be

When you first told him, he didn’t even bat an eye

“I already knew.”

“What?? How?”

“I’VE KNOWN YOU FOR YEARS, YOU THINK I WOULDN’T NOTICE!?”

But he’s so genuinely happy you trusted him enough to tell him, also he was beginning to worry you were going to tell Osamu first

He’s surprisingly the most supportive best friend ever

If anyone ever tries to give you shit for your sexuality then they will have to face the wrath of an angered Atsumu (+Osamu ofc)

He was already pretty blunt with his words to begin with, just imagine him angry

You two do this thing where you sit somewhere in public, usually munching on snacks from the convenience store, people watching

When I say people watching, I mean checking girls out

“Look over there, she’s cute.”

“Ew, she’s way out of your league.”

“What do you mean?!”

He’d smack your ice cream to the ground when you say this and he’d have to buy you a new one after you started smacking him with your bag

He’ll never admit it to anyone except you but he sucks with girls

THEY FALL FOR HIM LEFT AND RIGHT AND HE CAN DEAL WITH FANGIRLS BUT WHEN HE ACTUALLY LIKES SOMEONE HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

Basically: He’s a dork

He goes to you for love advice, mostly because he trusts you and because he knows there’ll be less teasing (Osamu would never let him hear the end of it)

Plus you have more experience than Osamu hehe

He’d drape himself over your lap as you’re working and tell you about all his woes

“Why do I keep scaring her off?”

“Listen, Tsumu, you just gotta cut the sarcasm and try not to sound condescending all the time.”

“I don’t sound condescending all the time!”

“Are you deaf??”

Not gonna lie, people are lowkey intimidated by you two

He’s pretty protective of you, like in an older brother type of way

Listen he knows that guys are trash but he knows how ruthless girls can be, he doesn’t want to see you get hurt

He ends up unintentionally scaring away other girls from you which you def weren’t happy about

Oikawa Tooru

His fangirls hate you with a burning passion

You’re the one girl he’s completely let into his life, you were one of his closest friends

He was just drawn to you, you know? You two just clicked immediately

Mostly because you both radiated the same crackhead energy

But also because you weren’t the same as the other girls in his school, you didn’t look at him with this starstruck look in your eyes like he was some idol, you saw him for who he really was

That sounds so sappy, he would never tell you any of this, you’d tease him too much

He’s so cute though, he calls you his platonic soulmate

He’s a super affectionate person

He always has his arm around your shoulder or linked with your own, another reason why his fangirls have it out for you

WHAT THEY DIDN’T KNOW WAS THAT YOU WERE MORE INTO THE THEM THAN YOU WERE INTO OIKAWA

Subconsciously, Oikawa knew that you would never fall for him and he loved that about your relationship, he didn’t worry about you becoming a fangirl or losing the bond you two shared because of awkwardness

But he just thought it was because you really only saw Oikawa as a friend and not because you were gay

When you did tell him, he was so surprised and he internally slapped himself because “I should have known!!” He knows you better than anyone, why didn’t he see the signs??

He’s so great about it though, he immediately takes you in his arms and tells you that you’re amazing and thanks you for telling him

“(Y/N) this is so great, it means we have more in common!”

If anyone, I mean anyone, whether it be fangirl or classmate or stranger on the street, says anything bad about you he will not hesitate to throw some hands

Listen, Oikawa may have a reputation to uphold but if anyone talks shit about his best friend then he’s going to go feral

You were definitely Oikawa’s go-to for girl advice

When he had a crush, when he didn’t know how to deal with his fangirls, when his girlfriend dumped him, you were the first one he went to

“I can’t believe she broke up with me.”

“Pfft, you could do better. I told you not to date her.”

“Would you have dated her?”

“I mean she was hot but come on, she was a bitch.”

sorry i just hate his ex-girlfriend even tho we dont even know her

Okay but you two are like this ultra attractive chick magnet when you’re together

You’re probably popular at school if you have Oikawa by your side 24/7, you probably have your own fangirls too

Terushima Yuuji

Funny story, you and Terushima first became friends after he hit on you during your first year

“Hey, couldn’t help noticing you earlier, I’m Terushima but you can call me babe.”

“Okay, first of all, I’m gay. Second, what the hell was that pick up line? You’re never going to get anyone’s attention if that’s the best you’ve got.”

You two immediately became best friends

Your friendship mainly consisted of you teaching Terushima how to actually pick up girls at first but you two still stuck with each other even after he mastered the art that is being a fuckboy

i love him so much but come on, he’s a total fuckboy

Now your relationship mainly consists of vine references and you trying to revoke your knowledge of picking up girls from him

You regret teaching him those things all those years ago

In all seriousness though, you two are basically family to one another, he trusts you completely

And yeah, needless to say, he is totally supportive of you and loves you unconditionally

At first glance, you two look like an overly touchy couple, he always has his arm draped around you and isn’t afraid to kiss you on the cheek and forehead

He’s constantly surrounded by a whole number of girls but he always tells people that you’re his #1

You two constantly have these moments where you’re both out and a pretty girl walks by and you both just halt to a stop and check her out

Afterward, you both turn towards each other and freak out over how attractive she was

“Holy shit, (Y/N) she’s wearing a bi flag bracelet, go get her number.”

He always tries to set you up with other girls, you don’t even ask him to but he does anyways

“Are you free tomorrow?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Perfect, you have a date at 2, she'll pick you up at your place.”

“Wait, what—”

However, if you ever like someone then your boi Terushima will be your ultimate wingman

He just wants to see you happy okay?

So he will do absolutely anything to help you get your girl, no doubt about it

WILL FIGHT ANYONE FOR YOU

If anyone tries to hurt you then he’s gonna call the bois and beat them up, he will not let them slide

He will definitely go to pride with you, he’ll arrive clad in full rainbow attire

“What do you mean you won’t wear the matching rainbow cape, (Y/N) I paid good money for this.”

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bi-demon-ium · 3 years ago

Note

a long and not completely comprehensive list below the cut of what makes me happy, in no particular order:

What makes you happy?

video games I like (mostly stuff that's fun, has a good narrative, and is real pretty to look at, but those aren't hard and fast rules as long as there's something i love in it--too many to name)

writing (when i'm in the groove, anyway--and not just straightforward literature, also things like interactive fiction/games, videos, or essays)

certain tv shows (and sometimes movies/books/podcasts--too many of all of these to list, but I do have a weakness for episodic stuff, like mystery shows/MOTW shows/etc. in particular, as well as things fantasy or fantasy adjacent, especially fantasy grounded in the real world)

certain fictional characters in general

infodumping to someone who's actually interested or like, excitedly vibing back and forth about a mutual interest

you know like if you're lying in someone's arms and they just trace shapes on your back or drag their fingernails up and down? listen i haven't had that shit since i was like ten but the best fucking feeling in the world okay

my friends on discord

ao3 comments

cats

also dogs but mostly cats bc less energy sorry dogs i love you too

lots of animals really but i don't get to interact with any other animals that regularly so

baking and cooking certain things (potion potion POTION POTION)

certain foods (burgers, hand-cut fries, puppy chow, pasta, strawberry flavored things, to name a few)

ah, soda. listen the carbonation is just so good

big fluffy blanket. weighted blanket sometimes.

LOTS OF PILLOWS. I LOVE PILLOWS AND HUGE PILES OF BEDDING/BLANKETS/PILLOWS

stuffed animals. i have an ancient stuffed bear and id die for that bear. i think genuinely if something happened to him i'd have a fucking meltdown. ive literally had that thing since like, a day or two after i was born, okay.

music!!!!!

SINGING!!!!!!!!! especially songs from musicals bc the drama of it all is so [chefs kiss]

being in on a joke, like just, inside jokes

nerf guns

also fake swords, especially foam ones i can whack someone with

the mothman

those variety packs of ferrero rocher that include the three types (like normal chocolate, a darker one, and coconut white chocolate)

rainbow packs of nerds

terry's chocolate oranges

"kid's champagne" (sparkling welch's juice we put in champagne flutes as if we were adults as kids)

boos from mario. i dont know why they're just shaped like friends

sweater vests

actually just generally clothing that makes me feel Gender

the swish of a long skirt or dress

stained glass

my stupid skyward sword joycons

magnifying glasses with nice fancy handles. they're just neat

libraries, especially big ones

secret passages and finding them. the feeling of discovering a secret passage, even one you were meant to find? incomparable.

the smell of old books

thunderstorms

perfectly timed thunderstorms (aka loud and when im trying to sleep and do not have to go outside)

hugs, i think? hugs, hypothetically

riddles, terrible or otherwise

pride flags and pride colors

being called the right pronouns/name

nicknames; freely given

getting a package

opening a package

pomegranate chapstick

performing onstage (ESPECIALLY A MUSICAL!!!)

humans being like. good. you know

making people laugh

making people cry but like specifically in a good creative way not in a mean way

except that time i played a villain scary enough to make a child cry. sorry, child. that did make me happy. it was flattering. the child was fine it's fine it's fine

rainbow colored things

sleeping in

the stars

the moon

#askbox #gertspeak

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swiss-cheeze · 5 years ago

Text

The Candyman Can || Spencer Reid

Request: YES/NO

Gender: none (I don’t believe there is by skimming what I’ve written however there may be a mistake idk)

Warnings: SPOILERS FOR ZUGZWANG (8x12), mention of gunshot and blood, talk of depression, I think that’s it?

Description: Maeve was gone, what more could one wish for than the Candyman?

Part 2: https://snitchthewitch.tumblr.com/post/623363610267320320/the-candyman-can-rainbow-connection-spencer

———

The gunshot rang out and it seemed to go in slow motion as Maeve and Diane fell to the floor in the pool of their own blood, Spencer's kneecaps hit the hard concrete flooring, echoed with his loud sobs. The atmosphere changed and everyone could feel it, hell, you swore you could see the atmosphere change too.

---

Spencer could hear the voices of his friends outside his door.

“Knock twice if you’re conscious”

It took a moment but Spencer knocked twice, the weight of his arm felt heavier than anything else, his heart tugged as his arm fell and he heard JJ talking too.

“He knows we’re ALL here for him!”

And then their footsteps retreated down the stairs and away from him. It all felt unreal, a fever dream, a hallucination of sorts. As Spencer stood up he took in his surroundings, the books littering the room, the discarded clothes; everything was new in his perspective but it all felt so normal, like the books had been there for all of his life instead of 14 days. He knew why. He was in the five stages of grief; he wanted to say it was depression, and with the evidence strewn around his room anyone else would say the same, but it also felt like he was in denial, or maybe bargaining? He made the choice, he told Diane him for her but she didn't take it, the kiss told him; she didn't believe his unbelievable lie even at face value. As the world turned sideways with his hands clutching the last thing Maeve and himself shared he heard the telltale ring of his voicemail receiver.

It was Derek, calling again.

His voice sounded numb to Spencer's ears as it kept ringing, the echo of the gunshot still evident in his ears, ringing, throbbing. It hurt. It hurt alot. Was this what Hotch felt when he was blown back from the explosion those years ago? That was a hard day for all of them, the irony from Spencer's thoughts almost made him chuckle. Almost.

The phone receiver echoed the room again and Spencer groaned inwardly, he stood quickly to hang it up but was too slow as it went through and your voice cut through the air.

“Spence! Uh, hey,” your chuckle rang through the air as Spencer stood standing still, “okay so this may be a little weird but um. Okay. When i was younger my dad would sing this song to me to help calm me down from anything and it always worked. Now i'm not saying it works for everyone don't get me wrong,” Spencer could hear the smile in your voice and swore he could hear your footsteps as you paced, what he guessed would be the conference room, “but, i just want to try and help so. I'm going to hang up, call you back and well,” the pause was evident as Spencer waited, “sing to you,” your grin was evident and Spencer could hear it. A moment passed as you hung up and suddenly Spencer was filled with, not exactly happiness but, an emotion close to, with his brain the way it is he couldn't think of the english dictionary.

The phone rang again, and Spencer considered actually picking up the phone but instead let it ring through.

He wanted to hear your voice. You weren't exactly the bestest of friends but you were good friends, enough to be okay to be able to do this for Spencer without either of you feeling uncomfortable.

“Who can take the sunrise?” your voice rang out, this was an unknown song to Spencer, “sprinkle it with dew,” Spencer sat on his couch as he listened, “cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two?” your voice was picking up, your emotions coming out almost making Spencer smile, “the candy man!” your voice went up an octave, “the candy man can, the candyman can because he mixes it with love” you emphasized ‘love’ at the end of your sentence, directing it to Spencer, “and makes the world taste good~” that’s when he realised. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It was your favourite book and favourite movie; the number 1 thing you ever talked about, always mentioning it in any moment you could. You had said multiple times to the team that you would stop because it was annoying but they always made sure to remind you it didn't annoy them and was actually nice to have something so positive within their line of work that didn't include the saving of lives. “Who can take a rainbow, wrap it in a sigh,” your voice continued, which took Spencer by surprise; were you going to sing the whole song? “Soak it in the sun and make a strawberry-lemon pie?” this sounded more like a question towards Spencer than any of the others, and he couldn't help the corners of his mouth turn up into a small smile and mouth ‘the candy man’, “the candy man? The candy man!” a tear slid down Spencer cheek as he sniffled, were you really doing this just so he could feel some sort of ‘better’? You of all people? He wasn't complaining, he was glad, the same as he was glad Garcia always asked if he was okay and sent those baskets; Derek made sure to mention how Garcia was feeling, “the candy man can”. Spencer heard the tremble in your voice, you were crying. Were you? You masked it too well for him to know, he heard a door open, “y-yeah i'll be there in a second,” your normal voice said before you sighed, “i'll finish this verse then leave you, um, where was i?” you thought for a moment, mumbling the previous lyrics, “ah right! The candyman can because he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good~” he could hear the smile etched onto your face, “we uh, we’ve got a case Spencer so, i have to go but, i hope that did something, i don't sing for everyone you know,” your laugh echoed happily, “even if you just listened with no emotion, but, we love you Spence,” you sighed as your voice wavered, “dont-dont ever forget that,” and with that you hung up.

---

“Hey Spencer!” your voice came through the receiver, he didn't pick up and let it go to voicemail but you sounded happy nonetheless, it was a few days after your first singing session with him, “i don't know if you liked it before but i told Derek and the team what i did for you, the simple singing...thing,” he could hear the grin, “and they said i should continue it! So, here's a new song, hang up on me anytime Spence i don't mind,” Spencer could hear you take in a breath before starting the new song, this time the sound of a ukulele coming through the phone; you knew how to play an instrument, “Somewhere over the rainbow,” Spencer recognized this one right away, “way up high, and the dreams that you dream of, once in a lullaby, I” he stood closer to the phone to hear you clearly as he held the book Maeve had gifted him all those days ago, “oh, somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly, and the dreams that you dream of dreams really do come true, ohh, ohh,” he didn't realise it but a few tears slid down his cheek, were his emotions coming back? Well they never left technically he knew that, they just got buried down for awhile. “Someday I wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind. Me, where trouble melts like lemon drops, high above the chimney tops that's where,” you wanted Spencer to sing with you, “you'll find me, oh, somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly, and the dreams that you dare to, oh why, oh why. Can’t i? i?” Before Spencer's brain could recognize what he was doing he picked up the phone and held it to his ear but it didn't stop you, you musnt have realised he picked up.

“Someday i wish upon a star,” Spencer gravelly voice came through the speaker before you could get the next lyric out as a grin took over your face and continued the chords and sung with Spencer, “wake up where the clouds are far behind, me,” Spencer let you take over the next lyric

“Where trouble melts like a lemon drops, high above the chimney tops that's where,” you paused for Spencer.

“You’ll find me” Spencer finished, he sniffled softly as you both continued the song.

“Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high, and, the. Dreams that you dare to oh why, oh why. Can’t i? i?” your voices meshed together in a weird beauty, of a gravely and recently unused voice and a smooth, vocal lessoned voice, you both harmonized together for the final ‘oohs’ before the ukulele faded out and you grinned.

“Nice to have you back Spence,” you said softly, “um, i gotta get back to work but, i'll call again in a few days, see how you're going,” Spencer could still hear the grin in your voice over the phone.

“Thank you,” was all Spencer said before he hung up the line, it was abrupt but you took it in best emotions.

---

“It’s a force of habit,” a new voice cut through the thin air.

Reid.

“Reid”

“Spence”

J.J. went up to the disheveled man and gave him a comforting hug as the rest of the team came forward, yourself included.

“I didn't expect you back this soon, you sure you’re ready?” Hotch asked Spencer.

“No, but i think i figured something out,” Spencer replied, his voice was down an octave or two, the stubble didn't fit the Spencer you knew and you didn't want it to fit the new one if it meant you could have the old one back. Spencer looked at the team as if he was back in motion, squaring his shoulders and straightening his back Spencer started explaining what he knew about the case and what he had figured out.

You stayed back while Hotch and Spencer talked for a moment before Hotch left the room, he gave you a side glance that told you everything you needed to know; ‘stay back, help him’, and then the unit chief was gone and Spencer looked to you for a moment with tear filled eyes. Grabbing his hand softly you brought Spencer to a closed and unused conference room, the moment the click of the lock echoed through the room Spencer wrapped his arms around you as his shoulders jiggled; he was crying. It was the soft but comforting hold you had around Spencer that made him cry a little harder, suppressed sobs turned into small gasps of air as your shirt soaked through to your skin but it didn't matter either way to you; he was letting you in. The soft cushions of the couch gave way as you and Spencer sat on the fabric before laying down slowly, your touches were soft and hesitant, not wanting to ruin the moment to make the situation worse.

---

The plane ride was quiet as you sat in front of Spencer, when walking onto the plane Spencer had held your wrist from the stairs until you two sat down together, wanting to be around someone he knew and would somewhat understand. You could feel a presence come from behind but you didn't want to look.

“I counted five baskets,” J.J.’s voice floated from behind, Spencer gave a tight smile.

“Seven but I think Miss Cavenar next door may have taken a couple,” Spencer replied, you grinned at the thought of an old woman stealing woven baskets from outside the 30 year old Spencer's door. J.J. laughed too as you heard another set of footsteps coming to a halt next to J.J. as Spencer started talking again, “i'm really sorry if i've been kind of…” Spencer trailed off as you stopped him.

“Spence, dont.” you shook your head, “no”

“Kid,” Derek addressed, “i didn't mean for you to come all the way out there”

“I know,”

“Listen, if you need anything at all,” Derek offered, “you just have to ask,” you looked back to Derek and J.J. as J.J. nodded and so did you.

“Actually if you guys dont mind i could use some help with something,” Spencer said quickly, it caught you all off guard but you let a small grin overtake your lips.

“Name it”

---

The room was silent as J.J and Derek restored the bookshelves, Garcia and Spencer restored the fridge with fresh food with the blonde even cooking a few meal preps for Spencer so that he didn't have to worry too much about not eating. You worked on restoring the walls, furniture and packing away the geographic profiles and newspaper clippings from the previous case. It didn't take long with the team effort as you heard the sizzle in the kitchen from Garcia's cooking, J.J. and Derek slotting and sorting through the books, talking occasionally to find where each title went with you sitting on the floor with a needle and thread; patching up the holes in the couch as well as deep cleaning when it's done. In no time at all you all finished your jobs and one by one disembarked back to your homes. Derek, J.J. and Garcia all gave Spencer a hug as they left together; leaving you and Spencer alone.

“Thank you,” Spencer said softly as he sat on the newly patched up couch, the screech of the curtains opening made Spencer finally look up from his twiddling hands to see you bringing more light into the room.

“We’re all here for you Spence,” you reminded the boy, he was finally clean shaved and showered as you sat next to him.

“Not that,” the man remarked, “for singing to me all those weeks ago,” this took you by surprise, you didn't expect a thank you for something you had done for the sake of doing it.

“It’s...it’s alright Spencer,” you said with a nervous smile.

“I really enjoyed it,” Spencer said with a soft smile, he could see your eyes twinkle with a new found light at what he said.

“Thats...that's good Spencer, I'm glad,” you grinned and ruffled your hair as a nervous tick, “I'm glad you enjoyed it otherwise that would be kind of awkward” you laughed as Spencer's thumbs twiddled.

“Would…” the boy paused a second and his voice became hoarse, was he going to cry? “Could we continue it?” Spencer asked, “the singing thing I mean, you don't have to (Y/n), but I just…” his sentence trailed off as his brown hughes turned to your smiling face.

“Yeah, we can continue it Spencer I don't mind,” you said happily, “I'd be happy to do it, you don't have to sing with me but I'm more than happy to sing for you!” your fingers started to tap the tempo for a song on your knee.

“How many instruments do you know?” Spencer asked, “maybe, maybe we can do a duet?” his laugh was evident on the end of his sentence, “i'll play the piano”

“I forgot you learnt the piano,” you said with a grin as the memories came back to you of the autistic boy who played piano. A stiff silence overtook the room as you and Spencer sat next to each other, knees just barely touching before Spencer finally opened his mouth to talk again.

“Would you be able to sing to me now?” The question was sudden, like Spencer couldn't control when or how he said it before he himself caught up to the fact he said it; surprising himself. You grinned.

“Of course Spence,” you said happily, “Any requests?” you asked. Spencer shook his head no, “right,” you thought for a moment and went through the movies you recently watched with music in it before snapping your fingers, “ah ha!” you cleared your throat in a joking manner, causing Spencer to grin, before you started singing, “look for the,” you grinned, “bare necessities!” Spencer grinned, “the simple bare necessities!” you stood up as you sung and started dancing, shaking your body and singing happily before holding your hand out to invite Spencer in to dance with you. He accepted reluctantly and before you knew it the pair of you were singing a disney classic and dancing together.

It wouldn't be perfect, it will definitely take time, but that time you were willing to pay for if it meant more moments like this to help a friend.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #penelopie garcia #garcia #jj #david rossi #emily prentiss #alex blake #the candyman #spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x reader

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dontbesoweirdkira · 5 years ago

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Hey, it's me again, I hope you are still open for requests! You said I could ask for Mic content and, if I still can, what about some DadMic headcanons, with his own child and/or an adopted one?! Which one you prefer is fine! I hope you are doing well and thank you for the opportunity you gave me! Take care 💗

A/N: Hey you!! Thank you for requesting, it means a lot that you like my present mic work. And yes, you most definitely can have some DadMic headcanons. If you have any more requests just let me know. I did hours worth of homework and it deleted so i’m kind of like forget school and imma become a professional headcanon writer so honestly hit me up with as much stuff you want :)))))))

(i kind of wrote this like you are in the ages of like 6-10 so just keep that in mind)

-I feel he would have his child out of wedlock, maybe when he was younger out partying things got a little crazy then bam, next thing he knows he has a child with no mom and no idea what to do.

-cAlLs AizAwa

-No but He’s a great Dad honestly, although he's clueless sometimes, he tends to figures things out fairly quickly

- At first it was really hard for him since he had this baby, a new hero career, and the whole world trashing on him, he totally broke down a few times and wanted to give up. BUt aizawa and his other friends helped him through and encouraged him

-You’re his little sunshine and HE LOVeS yoU tO death

-calls you literally any pet name that is very soft and cute and innocent

-He buys evErything for you, i swear! If you just look at something for more than two seconds, it’s in his cart and he’s buying it for you

-”dad you don-”

-”shh pumpkin, let daddy buy it for you.”

-your room is filled with what every girl wants to have

-He learns to do your hair, no matter the texture or thickness or length, he’ll watch youtube videos and figure it out

-he lets you do his hair as well, braiding it, curling it whatever, he’s totally fine with it. JuSt DoNt CUt iT

-New school year and you need new clothes?? Yeah over 1,000 dollars worth of stuff brought.

-speaking of school, sometimes you get comments and stuff from teachers or students because you might not look like him or because you don’t know who your mom is, ect.

-At first when you were younger, it didn’t hurt you, you couldn’t understand that anyways, but as you started to get older it affected you more and more until one day you came home crying to present, and it literally breaks his heart

-”Daddy, why isn’t my skin as light as yours, and my hair isn’t as thin? The other kids make fun of me for it...it really hurts me. And WHere is mom? Does she not love us? You’re really sweet i don’t know why she doesn’t want to be with you…”

-”why are you asking this?”

-”The kids and teachers at school…”

-RAGE MODE ACTIVATED

-He literally storms down to your school and demands that the questions and comments stop or he’s going to press charges

-Never ever was asked about any of those things again...well, more or less, sometimes you hear teachers or students whispering or makings sly comments but you chose to ignore those things

-”DONT YOU EVER TALK TO ME OR MY LITTLE CUTIE PIE EVER AGAIN.”

-HUGs!! He hugs you like all the time everyday when he sees you. Like it’s his way it’s saying i love you although he screams that to you all the time

-”Y/N MY LITTLE GIRL,” *jump hugs* “I LOOOOOOOVveevVVEVVEvevV Ee YOuuUUUUUUOoUUUU”

- PROTECCS YOU AT ALL COSTS

-Like when the world found out that he had a kid, and he was still kind of a kid himself with a just starting a career, he kind of got shitted on a whole lot...by everyone and the press is always writing stories and stuff so when you were old enough to read or understand some stuff he’d often keep TV off or keep you away from the press and media although that became harder when you had to go outside and go to school but as much as he can limit that crazy stuff you see, he’ll do it.

-He makes sure you can defend yourself and as soon as you get your quirk, he’s training you. He will never push mega hard however he makes sure that the training is vigorous enough that when danger comes...you’re ready

-Being a pro hero’s child can mean you’re in a lot of danger, people want to kill or kidnap you to hurt the hero so he’s constantly worries and on you about safety

-If your quirk is similar to his, skskkdnjsk he literally will SCREEEEEEEE, he thinks it’s so awesome you have a quirk like his and he will make sure that the both of you will annoy Aizawa

-As much as Hizashi spoils you, you had to grow up a whole lot quickly. Even though he’s an underground hero and kinda works on his on time, his job is still quite demanding and he has to be gone a lot so that means you need to learn how to cook, clean, do your homework, etc. on your own so if anything happens (god forbid) you know how to take care of yourself. when you were younger tho he’d have a babysitter/nanny to look and take care of you while he’s at work

-Although when he is home he cooks and does all of that stuff. HE'S A REALLY GOOD COOK??????? Like seriously and don’t let me get started on the pastries he makes...mmmm yummm…

-only burnt down the kitchen once...Don’t tell Aizawa plez ;-;

-He actually feels very very bad about leaving you at home a lot with responsibility, he’s all about fun and really just being a kid so he always apologizes to you and plans something super fun when he’s off of work. Like laser tag, going out for ice cream, or just building forts at home. He makes sure you have a balance

-He might’ve brought you a puppy so you would have a friend, you let him name the puppy and now you have a “Mr.Ruffkins” running around your house

-He let’s you have girls night which is basically just you and him and sometimes a friend, and you guys just paint each other nails, put bows in each others hair, all the girly stuff, and just talk about anything.

-It’s his way i guess to make up for the mother-daughter time you don’t have in your life

-Cute picnics at the park with a bunch of snacks and you guys will just feed the little duckies and animals

-Brings you around his agency or to his radio show all the time, like everyone that works there knows and loves you a whole lot. You even have a mini cute pink desk with a name tag on it.

-You have a little segment on his show called “LittleMic and PresentMic” and you guys just talk about crazy weird stuff and reach out to single Dads who are also raising up kids. It’s super cute i swear.

-Aizawa is your tired uncle that says he hates coming over but he comes over like everyday and eats all your food while watching TV on the couch

-He’s the best uncle though but he’s super blunt. So sometimes you go to him for advice or just to talk. He adores you though and checks on you while DadMic is at work or something.

-Aizawa call you “Kiddo” or “littleMic” or just “y/n”

-Present lets you pick out his new tattoos, and one time he let you draw one….now he has a crooked purple butterfly on his arm...it’s all good tho

-Father daughter danceeeeee ya ya ya! You guys bring the moves and the music to the dance floor like get out the mf way swines.

-He picked out your dress and you picked out his suit, he even let you do a little man bun

-sometimes when you guys are just chilling at home, you will play some of your favorite classics, and you will step on his feet and he’ll dance, you guess may have fell like twice.

-speaking of music and dancing, he will turn up all of the pop jams that you love (slipping some of his rock n’ roll faves) THROW candy all through out the house and both of you are dancing in weird costumes while singing

-”I LOOOOOOOOvvEEEE ROcKKK N ROLLLLL SO PUT ANOTHER DIME IN THE JUKE BOX bAE bEEEEEEBHEDB”

-You are very much involved in music and he showed you how to make your own mixtapes, playlists, and how to DJ on your own

-piggy back rideeeesss yuuuuhhhhh. When you’re feeling sad he randomly picks you up, twirls you onto his back and runs around the house yells

-”WOOOOOSSSHHHHHH MEGA JET FLYING A SAD PASSENGER, MOVE OUT OF THE WAY WOOOOOSSHHHSHSH”

-Usually does this until you’re laughing and playing along with him

-”KrrSHH THIS IS FLIGHTER PILOT Y/N WITH MY TRUSTY JET YAMADA ON MY WAY TO DESTROY THE ENEMY PLANE, ANyoNE copPY?”

-one time you like dressed up like him for halloween and it was lit. hair somehow slicked up, black leather jacket and some headphones...wooo child you looked cool

-”PRESENT MIC MAY I GET YOUR AUTOGRAPH???”

-”nO PapArazzi PleAse”

-I feel as though you’d be bilingual, Japanese and English. I feel at home it’ll lean more towards English although there’s a hint of Japanese in there

-He rarely gets mad at you but if he did, it’s probably because you put yourself in danger or something of that sorts

-If you cannot sleep, he’ll let you sleep with him and he’ll have blue clues playing in the bakground to help “sooth you” (he enjoys that show very much”

-”THE CLUE IS RIGHT THERE BLUEEEE”

-”dad? I-”

-Tells you stories about his high school/early life and gives you advice

-”in conclusion do not throw a pumpkin at a security guard or you might get hurt...okay love bug?”

-The sweetest thing ever, like he randomly makes weird faces or says random things to make you laugh

-Forehead kisses or little cheek kisses

-Twirls you around and says “Ah my little princess looks lovely today”

-OMG TICKLE FIGHTS I SWEAR YOU’RE GASPING FOR AIR SOMEONE HELP YOU BUT LIKE ITS FUN

-You help him choose outfits when he’s indecisive

-”take away the scarf and go with the graphic tee and maybe the black boots instead of the red ones”

-”Look at my child, a fashion Icon.”

-He let you decorate the house so now there’s glitter, pink stuff, rainbows and sparkles all around the house but it’s super cute.

-Many cute photos of you guys in macaroni picture frames.

-HE TAKES PICTURES OF EVERYTHING LIKE STACKS OF PHOTOS SMHHH TAKE THE CAMERA AWAAAAYYYYY

-Being Present’s Child would be super cute and mega fun. He’s one of the most interactive loving dads out there, you would never feel lost or lonely for a second. Seriously he is the dad that we all wanted/ needed as a kid lmao.

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moonguilt · 5 years ago

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random klance and adashi headcanons? 🥺🤲

i have been meaning to put some grocery shopping headcanons out there… so here u go (plenty more beneath the cut as well):

-when keith and lance are falling in love and in their honeymoon phase with each other, they jump at the opportunity to go grocery shopping together because a) they wanna spend every moment with each other, and b) it’s domestic af and it makes them feel like they Have Something

-once they’ve been together a while, the novelty wears off and the laziness kicks in and they both try to find increasingly ridiculous ways to get the other person to go shopping without them

-keith usually goes for willful/feigned ignorance: “what kind of toothpaste did you say you wanted?” like 4 separate times, and then “idk they all look the same to me, i usually just grab whatever” and when lance inevitably goes on a tirade about the importance of his Very Specific brand and flavor, keith concludes with a “maybe you should buy it in person if you want to be sure you get the right one”

-lance’s tactic neglects logos and instead relies on pathos: “keeeith i am so tired” “keeeith my toes are still so cold from the walk home” “i promise i’ll go next time keith pleeeaase kosmo is in my lap and he’s so comfy look at him keith look. we are having a bonding moment keith dont interrupt us”

-when lance REALLY wants something Very Specific and is genuinely worried that keith will mess it up, he will give in to keith’s strategy and just go shopping himself, but 90% of the time keith is a Weak man and lance always gives him a big toothy grin and a kiss whenever he agrees so honestly you can’t blame him

-also it gives him a chance to restock his emergency midnight snack lunchables stash without lance giving him the “you are a grown man and my mamá gave me so many good recipes for us to try out and yet you choose to bring this under our roof” lecture (even though keith is sure that he bought 5 packs last time and only ate 3 of them but now their pantry is mysteriously devoid of lunchables, which means somebody in this house is lying about their disdain for lunchables)

-but ANYWAY sometimes they still actually do go to the store together just like old times and when they do:

-taking turns doing the thing where you run and put your weight on the back of the shopping cart and let it glide-(getting caught doing exactly that by an employee and being told off for it after they nearly knock over a chef boyardee can display)

-choosing an item on the list that they have no idea where to find & racing each other to see who can find it first

-“do you see this toothpaste keith. do you see this? can you see the name? can you read the flavor? you see how it says ‘for sensitive teeth’? do you see it?”-“considering you are practically shoving it down my throat, yes.”-“well then maybe your esophagus will be able to remember it for you next time you go shopping”

-keith grabbing the last pack of rainbow gold fish bc they are his favorite-toddler wanted those goldfish & starts crying-”ah shit fuck hey hey hey uhhh” cue keith turning a desperate look toward lance bc he Does Not Know how tf to handle small crying child-lance is like “dude, baby, sweetheart, my man, just give him the goldfish we can get the regular ones”-but keiths like?? bitch?? i got these first?? also im gay and these are my pride fish?? dont be homophobic-lance is about to argue with him abt it but then the kid’s mom gets involved and is like “how could you make my baby cry he’s just a kid let him have his goldfish dont be selfish”-you’ve activated Protective Lance mode-“um okay first of all, rude, keith got them first. second of all, this isnt even healthy for your kid. THIRD of all these are rainbow colored and keith is gay so maybe dont be homophobic??”-things escalate and keith and lance nearly throw down with karen and little jimmy in the snack aisle-they savor every last one of those fucking rainbow goldfish later that night, just out of pure gay spite

-lance spending several minutes inspecting individual broccoli stalks meticulously to make sure they buy only the very best-he narrows it down to two but keeps debating between them until keith comes up behind him and slumps against his back, wrapping his arms around lance’s waist and muttering something about how cold the produce aisle is-lance makes a snarky comment about keith being a whiny baby & keith retaliates by slipping his freezing fingers under lance’s shirt, prompting a startled yelp and giving keith the opportunity to pluck a broccoli stalk from lance’s hand and put it in the cart

-“okay, while we’re here, let’s grab a cucumber for the salad”-“gotcha, one cucumber coming right up–.. hey.. hey, keith, this one kinda looks like a–hehehe–hey keith, do you think i could–hnnkeehehe–do you think i could fit this one up–”-“oh my god”-“what do you say keith–you, me, this cucumber, a bottle of wine–”-“alright im getting on line.”-“wait wait babe im kidding come back let me put the cucumber in the cart”-“NO go get a different one, i am NOT letting that one anywhere near our salad”

-selfies with the local Stop & Shop robot. lance thinks it’s kind of creepy but keith thinks it’s cute and lance thinks that’s cute, so

-“lance we left the reusable bags in the car”-“quiznak. well that’s okay, we can just use plastic bags this one time and i’ll make sure we put them to good use at home so it’s not wastefu–”-“no. we paid money for our bags. we have to use them. i’ll be right back”-“keith we parked way down on the other side of the–oh my god KEITH WATCH OUT FOR THAT OLD LADY holy shit SLOW DOWN oh my god man”

-keith tries to sneak those storebought sugar cookies, you know the clear-boxed ones that they always put out front with holiday-colored frosting and sprinkles, into their cart-“keith what is with your obsession with processed food”-“it was all had to eat when i was living alone in the desert”---“baby that is very sad and you know i empathize with your tragic anime backstory but put those godawful abominations back or so help me”

-only, keith isn’t the only one who likes processed food

-yeah, another reason keith is so used to it is because even after he started living with shiro, he kept eating that junk because that’s all shiro ever ate too

-shiro is a slut for kraft mac & cheese

-this presents a problem for him and adam, because adam loves spicy food and loves to make spicy food for shiro to eat

-but shiro is a big baby, and due to his inability to cook and his subsequent reliance on kraft & campbell’s & top ramen, he basically has white people taste buds

-adam is scandalized when he learns this the hard way after finding shiro nearly in tears over his half-eaten serving of dum aloo

-adam promptly declares that shiro needs a culinary intervention and they have been working towards the recovery of his palate ever since

-shiro is a creature of habit though, and he will try to convince adam to let them buy kraft mac & cheese whenever they go to the store together (which is often because unlike keith and lance, they never got tired of it and they still consider it a romantic domestic activity to this day. they’re just gay like that)

-when keith and shiro have their “broganights” together they indulge in all their crappy processed comfort food, much to the consternation of lance and adam, who bond over their shared exasperation and begrudging affection for their respective partners

#klance #adashi #thank u for the ask i had fun with this hehe #sorry the klance ones are more extensive... i have a bit of a bias in case u havent noticed #headcanon #domestic #lavender letters #ask

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captain-aralias · 5 years ago

Note

8, 15, 17, 28 for the writer meme, if you didn’t already get any of those

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

i just answered this, but since it’s you, i’ll go for some blake ;) hm....

i must say, i think i have written some pretty great dialogue for blake’s 7 in my time. here’s one of my favourite bits -

“It’s a quality operation,” Vila said. “They wouldn’t skimp on a thing like that. You want a boyfriend, Blake – and I want to go to Del Ten. Give me your promise that we can spend a week there once we find Docholli and I’m your man.”

“Vila, once we’ve found Docholli, we will have the key to finding Star One,” Blake pointed out.

“Are there any dancing girls on Star One?”

“I very much doubt it.”

“Then I’d still rather go to Del Ten,” Vila said.

“Couldn’t you wait?” Blake suggested. “Until after we blow up Star One?”

“After you blow up the Federation’s weather control systems, you mean?” Vila said. “And throw the civilised world into chaos? Right, I’m sure that would be a lovely time to take a holiday. Got any more suggestions like that, Blake? Perhaps I should invest in the stock market at the same time.”

“Two days,” Blake said. “I could give you two days on Del Ten.”

“A week!” Vila repeated.

Blake shut his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. He willed himself to find the strength to complete this conversation and make the right choices.

“Oh, Blake,” Vila said kindly. “You really need this, don’t you?”

Blake felt a hand rest on his shoulder and looked up into Vila’s sympathetic eyes. “Yes,” he said with relief. “I’m sorry, Vila. I don’t want to put you in this position. But I really do need this.”

“You’re going to have to give in then,” Vila told him in the same kindly tone as before. “Unless,” he said, a twinkle in his eye, “that is, you want to ask Avon to be your boyfriend...”

i could have quoted this entire scene - even this is a lot. i love writing blake and avon, i love writing avon and vila, but i really really love writing blake and vila together because there are some lovely moments in canon to draw on. they’re two characters who have very little in common except that they’re both smart. this conversation is about how blake - who almost always gets his own way - now needs something he can’t just demand that vila does, and that gives vila the upper hand repeatedly throughout this conversation. blake, even though he knows this is an awkward conversation and really should be better prepared.

i also like the different lengths of the dialogue - it has a good patter.

it’s also funny, and funny because it’s cruel to someone (in this case blake, not usually), which is very blake’s 7. also also - it ends with vila insinuating what is essentially the plot - i.e. that avon will have to pretend to be blake’s boyfriend by the end of the story - and this is a trick that i always enjoy for a section end. the audience is like - oh ho, wouldn’t that be simply TERRIBLE? ;) ;)

good times.

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

hm - not sure. maybe right now ... ‘Hang the Moon’? it’s got a lot of good action that would translate well to film, and i have a very clear idea of how most of the scenes look.

it would be kind of weird, though, right to have a film of a ‘carry on’ fanfic before we have a ‘carry on’ film. so i’m finding it quite hard to visualise.

i would have loved to have written some dialogue for blake’s 7 people to actually say (assuming they remembered how to do the voices properly, paul darrow). i would be so embarrassed to present paul darrow with my porn, though (although ‘An Apple Cleft in Two’ would be so great, though, as it’s practically a bodyswap - i love the idea of seeing the real stephen pacey pretending to be blake, and paul darrow just being so angry), so it would have to be some sort of gen.

ok - i think i choose ‘Showdown’ because it basically is ‘Duel’, so I know the Beeb could have staged it. it’s got some mega emotion that gareth would have done beautifully, too -

Blake extracted his hand slowly from Avon’s. He pressed his fingers against Avon’s wrist and waited, but there was no pulse. He let the hand drop and tried the artery in Avon’s neck, but he knew he was just prolonging the inevitable. Avon was dead.

He forced himself to look back at the man who had been his friend.

Avon looked peaceful. The blood spattered on his face was not his – it was Travis’s and had fallen from Blake’s cheeks like tears. Blake screwed his eyes shut again in an attempt to stop it, and in the darkness Sinofar’s voice said,

“So – the battle is over.”

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

i almost always write in order. when i think of a scene that is in the future, i will usually write some notes about it, but try not to write it because i very much build on (in my head? i dont know how much comes through in what gets written) what i wrote before in terms of how people think and feel/i do a lot of dialogue call-backs.

there are a few occasions where i go ahead and write something that happens later, but then i feel like i really screw myself when i try and go back and write the missing piece. i have to re-write everything i wrote previously to make it make sense... ‘Greener Grass’ actually is an example where i didn’t write out of order on purpose, but i thought i’d start with simon’s section which introduces all the bodyswap stuff fine, but it was too heavy with the bodyswap plot AND the introduction of the agatha-isn’t-here/get simon’s magic back stuff. there was just too much going on.

so then i had to write an intro section for baz, which i thin is good - it frames the story as baz’s story, which i know is what rainbow would want, and gives us calm before the storm ... as well as giving me an opportunity to write the exposition i needed.

but i had to go back an edit the next section a LOT to make room for it. which i hated.

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

i’ll do two batches.

blake’s 7:

x_los is my girlfriend, but i knew her first as an amazing writer. i wouldn’t have written half the things i did for b7 if she hadn’t started writing these epic, involved political stories, and she writes great porn. i really am not interested in david copperfield/uriah heep, but she thinks baz is a cat killer who does not deserve the time of day, so there you go. we’re in different fandoms now.

elviaprose is not only a great writer (the foot fettish fic is incredible, given that neither she nor i have a foot fettish as far as i know), she’s also really engaged with other people’s writing and i love that. it’s really good fun.

judith proctor - i wanted to put in a second generation fan, and i was tempted to go for willa shakespeare (so good, so plotty, so porny) or nova (such pain!), but i have to go for judith. judith taught us all how incredible blake is. her love for this character, and the way that she always writes him as smart but flawed, and attractive to avon because he is smart and principled, rather than for any other reason, is fundamental to any of us reclaiming him for the future. (it’s probably not a surprise that the authors i like really influence me as a writer, but worth calling it out - i am very much saying that as well). Touching Life! so good.

carry on:

we have some amazing writers, thank you fandom <3 three of my very very predictable favourites (the same three, i think, who wrote my favourite fics of last year) are:

@basic-banshee - what can i say? (insert long pause while i think of what to say.) i mean, we all know Ban is a great writer. it’s a pleasure when the most popular writer in the fandom is also a genius. i love all her secondary characters and that she spends so much time with them. she writes the way i want to - lots of good tropey stuff, great fun AUs, and plotty plotty good plot stuff. also - she always writes the most perfect endings that just make you feel GOOD.

@sharkmartini - i think we share a lot of the same ideas about what we like in fics i.e. we like the same tropes, we like that baz is a vampire, we think the same things are hot and romantic. i love the way sharkmartini plots this and she always writes great dialogue. also, i do think we owe snowbaz smut to her - maybe it wasn’t the first-first, but ‘Monster Under the Bed’ (which is SO good, honestly still one of my absolute favourite things) seems to have influenced so much of what came after it.

@krisrix - also an amazing artist, but for me an even better writer. the smut is amazing and sexy while also at the same time being really tender. kris also writes beautiful, long amazing kisses - and again, endings that are so beautiful and tender. also - let us talk about the plotty things! i love writers who mix plot and romance (or even dare i say - smut) because i love to have all the things in one fic. What Stays and What Fades Away is so smart and interesting. and, of course, kris has written my all time most favourite trope - fake relationship.

#my content #carry on

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softscottlang · 7 years ago

Text

You (Tom Holland)

[Tom Holland x Reader] One shot

Warning: Anxiety Attack, do not read if you are triggered by those.

Summary: Tom and you are at the mall on his rare day off when a group of fans swarms the two of you, overwhelming Tom.

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: I love this and Tom makes my heart pull for him.

You and Tom had been walking around the mall together for about three hours now. Today was one of the rare days that you guys got to just spend the day together, without Tom filming for Marvel or your job. Tom had refused to let go of your hand the entire trip, not that you wanted him to. Whenever you were around your boyfriend, he made you feel warm and bubbly, he made everything brighter. You were about to ask him if he wanted to share a pretzel when a teenage girl came up to you and started to talk to Tom.

She looked to be about sixteen and was wearing a Spider-man hoodie, she had blonde hair a big glasses. This was the first time you had been with Tom when he was being recognized in a public place. You couldn’t help the smile as you saw Tom hug the small girl, you even took a few pictures of them. The young girl had said her goodbyes and gave him another quick hug before walking in the other direction.

Tom quickly grabbed your hand and continued walking toward the Barnes and Noble’s when a crowd of teenagers started to close in on the both of you.

“I’ve never had this many people around me without anyone to manage the crowd.” Tom said as he gripped your hand a little bit tighter. You started to rub your thumb over the back of his knuckles, attempting to sooth him.

You knew he loved his fans, but you also knew how his anxiety was. His mother told you about it the first time you met her, she taught you what to do if he ever had an anxiety attack and you had a feeling you were going to have to use it.

The thought of Tom being over whelmed made you feel stressed. You wanted to help him and make him feel safe, secure and happy, you couldn’t do that if he was having an anxiety attack. So, you continued to comfort him until the crowd of teenagers closed in on the two of you and started to ask for pictures with either the two of you or just Tom. He of course said yes, not wanting to disappoint anyone.

“Tom, you can say no love. It’s your day off.” you leaned into to his ear. You tightly gripped his hand as he started to talk to the tens of people who came up to him. By the minute the crowd began to grow, making you feel more and more scared for the well-being of your boyfriend. He was starting to bit his bottom lip, which you know was his tell of being stressed out. You started to panic when his chest caved in.

You knew that he was having trouble breathing from the look on his face. His eyes were have slightly closed and he looked extremely pale. You were about to take him away from all the loudness when a girl ripped your hand away from his. You were pushed toward the middle of the circle surrounding Tom, you looked over to him and you felt your heart break.

He was finally showing the sadness on his face as he glanced down at his hand then looked around for you. He looked like he was trying to say something, but he couldn’t, he was hurting and that caused you to hurt knowing that. You felt the weight of your chest from worrying about him drop to your feet and hold you in place. You felt like you couldn’t move, you needed to move.

Tom needed you to move.

“I need everyone to move out of my way.” You said at the top of your lungs. The crowd of girls quickly cleared out of your way as you crossed over to your boyfriend. You gently grabbed his hand and lead him towards the bookstore as you explained to the teens that this was Tom’s day off and he wanted to have some free time, not that he didn’t love them. He just needed sometime to breath before he and the rest the cast went on the films press tour.

The teens looked like they understood what you were saying but a few of them were giving you a smug look as you guided your boyfriend away from them. You shook it off, even though it did make you feel bad for the girls who were just trying to meet the guy that they were in love with. All they wanted was a conversation and a picture. But you knew Tom couldn’t handle that, he was going through a major attack right now.

When you looked back at him, he was staring blankly at the wall, but his eyes were telling a completely different story. His eyes were anxious, wanting to leave all of the problems that he was having but he couldn’t. You knew that you had to pull him back, so you sat him down in a chair by the Starbucks there and leaned over so that your face was in his line of vison.

“Tom, take a deep breath in.” you said calmly, quiet enough to not disturb anyone else but loud enough for him to hear you. He looked into your eyes and you saw how upset he was. He looked flustered and tense. You felt your chest concave because of how sad he looked, it made you want to pull him into your chest and hold him, but he needed to breath. “Baby, you have to breathe!” you pleaded with him.

He eventually started breathing deeper and you saw the color start to return in his face. A wave of relief washed over you as you realized what was happening. Your heart wasn’t as heavy, but it was still hurting seeing the guy you love in distress. Quickly, you tried to remember what his mom taught you, but the questions were coming to you slowly. You decided to ask the ones you knew while you prayed the rest would come to you later.

“Name one thing you see.” You said calmly with your knee on his leg trying to sooth him. His eyes darted around the room as he kept looking at different things. His eyes wouldn’t focus on one thing, instead he was glancing from spot to spot. “Tom, concentrate on one thing. Name one thing you see.” His eyes started to slow down and you saw his irises settle.

“A table.” You looked at where he was staring at. He then glanced at you, his eyes filled with fear. His mom told you that he would say something related to furniture. So, you went to ask the next question but were cut off when Tom laid his hand over yours. You felt your heart leap in your chest as you realized that he wanted to hold your hand.

“Ok, good. Name one thing you smell.” You said looking at his face. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose. He exhaled slowly, his body shaking as he scrunched his eyes together forcefully. When he recognized the smell, he seemed to relax.

“Coffee” he said before opening his eyes and looking into yours. You opened your mouth to ask the second to last question, but Tom leaned forward, almost as if he was going to kiss you. You wanted to kiss him, oh boy did you want to kiss him, but you needed to make sure he was calm.

“Name one thing you hear.” You said softly, tilting your face slightly as you questioned him.

“My heart beating.”

“Ok, name one thing you love.” You knew he was going to say his family. That was what his mom said that he always answered. He looked at your face and answered the question.

“You.” The one word made you explode with happiness, he made your heart slam against your chest. You wanted to scream of excitement. You were about to proclaim your love for him back, but you were cut off by his lips attack yours. You should be used to the feeling of his mouth pressed against yours but every time he kissed you, he found a way to make it different. It was so appealing to you, he made every kiss unique and special.

In the end, Tom Holland was the man of your dreams, anxiety attacks and all.

Leave your thoughts please!

~~~

Permanent tags: @therealme13posts @you-makemethisway @xbesideguitarx @smexylemony @beautiful-holland @supernaturallover2002 @ashely313-blog @1dloverae @optimisticcloserr @ravan-blood @kyokostonem @decaffeinatedtealover @lucille-lovely @softspideyboy @starkravingparker @underoosstark @parkerstan @claryfeary @starkravingparker @bride-of-loki-odinson @underoospeter @lovelyh0lland @smoll-sparkle @spiderling-tom @darlingtaurus @hollandroos @dej-okay @notimeforthemessenger @rainbow-marvel @protecthefuckingbees @thequeensardine @tom-hollandaze @i-dont-wanna-go-mr-stark @supercool-holland @shenanigansreed @lets-be-honest @lafayettes-baguettes-1 @sophie3517 @lou-la-lou @vendylewin @trinityrud02 @fairydustparker @saturn-aka-six @spidey-pal @megzdoats @mutuallymendes @petxrpxrker @babylsn @cottoncandyparker @othersillyfangirl @spidergal1216 @peeterparkr @lemondropirwin @row212 @caitlyn-blackwell @stormyparker @its-the-unknownspidey @anise-d-castle6 @dangerousluv1 @jenniegs @space-holland @caitlinf653 @gerim-1995 @supernaturallover2002 @jordyxlynn @thisgirllikeme @salty-light-boquet @hollandsletters

Tom Holland tags: @yourwonderbelle @ironspiderman98 @leasly @jadedjules @blueeyedbesson @jophiehoe @embrace-themagic @stevieboyharrington @justapotatonow @confusionboner @annymcervantes @cherryhao @robfangirl @katiekinzs @theheartlocker @determinedpines @starryrevelations @logan8546 @anitalasirenita @mortumnoctis @cherrym4rk @emmyfignewton @infinityonfiction @tom-hollands-eyelash @fandomsfavorite @caitlyn-blackwell @damnhisfaceisliketheskyatnight @Mae @Pasty-buns @thirteenreasons-whynot @supernaturalpllfan1 @jtorresuck @my-shameless-bouquet @kawaii-girl-101 @Tomhollandishy @allurasparker @maraudersconversations_Trash @marauders_trash_forever @jeremiah-crane @quitetommy @bookgirlunicorn @protecthefuckingbees @kittenclever @da5haexowin @emilyackles @lunatardisblue @obsessedlittleangel @theasgardiansmidgardian @fab-notfat @xxxxdelenaxxxx @spideyyypeter @babyyhollandd

#Tom holland #tom holland imagine #Tom Holland smut #Tom holland fanfic #Tom holland fanfiction #Tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #Ro writes #Hero writes #Tom Holland one shot

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mieczyhale · 6 years ago

Text

throwing together some of my recent/ish hc posts/tags for @hellomyguru bc its a thing, babey (i have no idea what you’ve seen and what you havent bc tumblr really just suck like that so lmao)

my tags on this post:: #HELL YEAH HELL YEAH #more pride hcs!!! noice!!#i love these sfm#like klaus always taking part no matter how bad shit is bc HIS PEOPLE!!! and ben trying to punch picketers and homophobes is fucking adorbs#and i would kill (whoop) for the day klaus makes ben corporeal during pride and ben can punch all the people and then disappear#vanya’s is cute. come to the light darling!!#and diego fksgjf okay listen whether one hcs him as bi or not this is 1000% something he’d do either way#he’s supportive!!! and he has lgbtqa+ family!!! and nobody gets to be mean to his family but him!!#see also:: the first year after the apocalypse is avoided five decides to tag along when klaus saying he’s taking dave to#his very first pride. he not only enjoys himself but he learns a lot and either then or over the course of the following weeks figures his#own labels out - bc i hc five as asexual and i just have a thing for klaus being the all knowledgeable one about something for once#and his siblings learning about gender and sexuality from him and maybe discovering something new about themselves along the way!#except luther. he’s a cis hetero and we all know it#but maybe he learns to be a good ally. maybe#i mean probably not but whatever#allison is the only other person in the family who i’d even consider calling straight#bc there’s nothing wrong with being straight and i just.. dont have another label that i think fits her really well#so yeah ive got gender and sexuality hcs for them all flgkscndn happy pride month bitches

my tags on this post:: #’you’re telling me this happens every year?? for a whole month??!’ #actually i need every possible concept of dave experiencing pride month and seeing how far things have come for gays#like rainbow shit everywhere#and of course the legalization of gay marriage#out and proud gay politicians and gay people in positions of power#the amount of support that comes when homophobic shit happens now#homophobia isnt the accepted norm anymore#another thing i like is the concept of - either during pride or just in general - dave being excited to learn about the community as a whole#his boyfriend is a nonbinary pansexual and klaus has explained before what those words mean but dave wants to really understand#we stan a supportive and loving couple#dave has a lot to learn in 2019 but i think this stuff would be the most important and have the most effect on him yknow??#shit isnt perfect but its better and now he can work on getting passed the environment he was raised in#so he can hold klaus’s hand in public and kiss him around other people without panicking and eventually he proposes because HE FUCKING CAN#HE CAN DO THAT. HE CAN JUST.. ASK HIS BOYFRIEND TO MARRY HIM. LEGALLY.#good fucking shit

my tags on this post:: #did you see the state of the sky in the apocalypse?? there’s a chance he really wouldnt have noticed#i mean like yeah it could be a funny plothole#but there could also be reasons for why thats not something he noticed#or idfk man timeline shit#maybe the moon didnt explode the first time around#maybe it did and there’s just another moon somehow some way#maybe he didnt notice bc he was first too scared and then too frenzied and angry probably and then he had shit to focus on and math to do#and then dolores wanted to go on dates to the local wine cellars and flat empty areas that used to be parks and then there was spending days#in the library together like having a girlfriend is a lot of work okay#maybe five just didnt have the time to slowdown and consider things like space#maybe his headspace was too fucked#sometimes you just forget about the moon - i know i do!#so sfgksncjf okay y e ah

my tags on this post:: #YES!!! #yes yes yes #okay #so#everytime someone mentions or even hints at dave having anger issues i wanna fucking cheer bc thats one of my biggest hcs for him#like yeah he’s sweet and gentle and respectful and all that - genuinely a good man - our lil jewish gay#BUT#he did grow up in the 50s and 60s which as op said would have surrounded him with a lot of toxic masculinity. now i dont think he would be#a toxic kind of masculine AT ALL but it definitely would have forced him to hide his emotions and feelings and idk hobbies and of course his#sexuality. and i say hobbies bc there isnt a canon answer for it i dont think but i personally hc dave as being someone who loves art#specifically: drawing. dave keeping a lil sketchbook and some pencils under the pillow on his cot in vietnam?? yes please#so anyway yeah - he wouldnt have really had any good examples of how to properly take care of your anger - although he has enough#heart and common sense to know its really fucking wrong to take it out on women and children and people one is dating WHICH - another hc i#have that ties into this is that somehow his dad found out that he’s gay and beat the crap out of him over it. because unfortunately thats a#thing that happens. so his main male example was an abusive pos. and then he goes to vietnam which is fine because its not like he has#anyone stateside that will miss him - that will talk to him anymore - and its a warzone so there are a lot of ways to work out your anger#and yeah that of course includes bar fights. and he does - usually - try and keep a hold on his anger until he’s away from anyone who might#feel threatened - and he doesnt wanna end up taking out an innocent on accident - but he’s not actually perfect and so sometimes he fails#and it happens around klaus one time and seeing his love’s reaction - the making himself smaller - trying to hide - going quiet and so#clearly afraid - and not just afraid but afraid OF HIM - freezes him to the core where he stands because nobody has ever reacted like that#before. or if they have he never noticed or cared because they didnt matter. but this is klaus. his klaus. who he loves and would never do#anything to hurt him. his klaus who he protects and defends and knows he wants to spend his life with - no matter how impossible it is#he wants to go to klaus and apologize - try to undo the damage done simply by him raising his voice and lashing out - but he doesnt know#what to say or how to say it - he doesnt know what to do with the situation honestly. so he leaves the tent and goes to take his renewed#anger and frustration out on whatever he can find so he can calm down and hopefully get into the right headspace to have whats#no doubt going to be a really hard conversation with his boyfriend. because where do you even start??#but of course they talk it out and dave promises to work on his anger and on how he lets it out and yknow.. its dave so klaus trusts him and#it takes some time - there are some incidents - but dave works hard and learns a lot from klaus - including how to unlearn a lot of shit he#grew up with - and its rough but having a partner from the future who breaks all kinds of barriers definitely helps#so y eah. those are my brief feelings on it and i wanna marry op

my tags on this post:: #!!!!!!!!!!!! #YES #i adore this post#i could never pinpoint why the introduction on the bus made me feel like That but this is it!!#its just so sweet and innocent - even surrounded by other soldiers in the middle of a warring country#the innocence and unbearable fucking adorableness of their first convo on that bus just… its so bright and lovely it makes everything else disappear#the only thing that matters is the two guys getting to experience that ‘o h’ moment for the first time in their lives bc their childhoods#never let them have that #i assume#bc like op said klaus didnt go to a regular school and he wasnt p much stuck in that house and then he was on the streets so#and for dave like.. i guess he could’ve had that moment in school? but it would’ve been one-sided and he never would have#told anyone. 1960s. gay jewish man. yeah.#they’re each others first (and only) loves and i just really fucking adore that and live off of posts about them

my tags on this post:: #what if he wasnt dead-dead though???#bc like… the day five found them all dead was apparently the day the apocalypse happened right? so its not like they’d been dead for days#weeks or w.e yknow??#and the time between klaus dying and coming back is varying and undetermined - there’s no canon timing for the length of his deaths#so what if he came back to life??#like okay i know its not really possible in canon bc five buried them i think?? or is that a fanon thing??#i cant remembering #anyway#but still - in general klaus not being permanently dead in the apocalypse is another possibility#and five didnt know about it bc after finding them all he began his 45 year journey#and klaus wakes up alone and essentially has to learn to survive and he doesnt know five was ever there bc..well.. yeah#five is long gone#maybe klaus lives out his days in that wasteland#and he doesnt remember it where five does bc five time traveled back and klaus didnt. the klaus that got stuck in the#apocalypse is a different klaus - like a different timeline. the klaus from ep1 never got stuck in the destroyed future so#he’d have no knowledge or memories of it or anything#or - second thought - he kills himself at some point after waking up and either begs god to let him stay dead or he strikes some kind of#deal with her so he doesnt have to return to whats left of earth#oooo or something happened that put a lock on his powers?? like yknow those cuffs and devices and stuff in stuff in fantasy that freeze the#users abilities?? that’d be an interesting plotpoint bc then like who did it and why and what was the last day really like? yknow#vanya’s meds but More is the idea #just a thought#but anyway idk im just a big fan of klaus with the inability to die and all the possibilities that brings

my tags on this post:: #i’ve actually never stopped to consider why he didnt notice them except for my v first tua watch-thru#which is odd bc like that seems like a thing one should notice after a few watches??#but w.e #anyway#my only other hc for that part of the episode isnt that klaus didnt notice them bc he’s used to guns#it’s that he didn’t hear them#or that they weren’t loud enough -to him- to register as gunfire initially#bc like one of my close hcs is that he has bad hearing. growing up with people screaming in your ears 24-7 365 can’t exactly be good for#his ears now can it? and with how loud some of them are and how close they can get to him - without touching him - that’s just.. a lot of#fucking volume okay#now add in the academy’s mission alert siren#how loud he listens to his music with headphones on when he’s trying to drown out some REALLY LOUD SCREAMING#and then being near gunfire growing up. those bank robbers had guns and weren’t exactly a big distance away#all the raves and clubs and parties he goes to?? places where music is played so loud the room shakes and you cant hear anything else and#the music itself can be heard from blocks away?? that’s an indeterminable amount of intense noise#and then of course the gunfire of vietnam#so like… boys ears have SUFFERED. whether they wanna acknowledge that in canon or not#so the shooting at the theater - the shooting thats IN the theater - which is large and meant to house sound#thats happening across a big city street from where they’re standing and they’re behind the food truck and if klaus was ordering when it all#started that was just another level of sound and he’s not exactly focused bc everything is awful yknow?? so either it takes him a second to#notice or register it on his own or maybe he doesnt and ben says something?? idk but that’s kinda the field i’ve landed on for that scene#not that im not here for op’s hc!!! bc it really is a good one and it makes sense. im just rambling my own theory here bc i like considering#the Ways for Things sometimes. esp with klaus involved. this does make me wonder tho… if his hearing somehow is -fine- in canon…. h o w?#bc like bitch who tf can take all that and have perfect hearing?? thats gotta be impossible. if they are fine is it related to his powers#somehow?? like.. does his casual passing between life and death all the time mean he doesnt have mortal ear weaknesses? its weird but im..#i’ve got theories.

my tags on this post:: #probably in the massive fucking pockets of his fluffy coat#see also:: a dealer’s place #a boyfriend’s place#an ex-boyfriend who is also a dealer’s place#a girlfriend’s place #a partner’s place#all ex’s of course bc dave is the only valid romantic relationship#he made friends with the person who owns a nearby thrift store and they help him out#he has a locker at a public place like the ymca#he only has one outfit before returning to the mansion so he has nothing to carry - ever on the move#he thiefs off of people in rehab and crackhouses he stayed in that are dumb enough to leave their shit unattended#when he sees something he likes or he feels its time for an outfit change#he mostly sticks with his lace up pants as far as bottom pieces go bc its much harder to sneak away with skirts#and the kind of crazy pants he likes. there’s only room for one pair of pants for this pan disaster#after returning to the mansion he has access to the funky gay clothes he had managed to aquire before leaving all those years ago#bc like… i kinda hc that he got out of there fast and probably higher than fuck and had nothing packed#have you ever tried to pack while high?? it’s harder than it has any right to be#crack theory:: he had a bag - we just never saw it bc in the beginning he wore it under his floofy coat bc safety and he didnt need it the#rest of the time.#i have a lot of thoughts and headcanony opinions about klaus’s time on the streets so thank u#for giving me a place to dump some of them

#a collection of my dumbass tag rambles about the umbrella academy #for the ever lovely #hellomyguru #im definitely gonna be thinking of more pride hcs tho bc... Gay.#oooo i should make a post about my gender/sexuality hcs for all the siblings maybe?? ive seen other people do that and like.. i wanna share #but i also dont want to be eaten by people who disagree so... mayhaps not.#idk.#anyway. i knew i typed a lot in tags but uh... i wasnt aware of how bad it was. whoops?#mytuaposts

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flamebrain · 6 years ago

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mattfoggy hcs, straight from the bastard empire sorry these all read like shitepostes(L O N G post under cut you’ve been warned)

WTNV au:

nightvale is just populated by like. vigilantes and other poewered people and foggy shoes up one day like. hey anyone need a lawyer? and the whole town falls in love w him

MURDERDOCK IS KEVIN

matt does radio and talks about foggys perfect hair and perfect teeth and foggy calls in like "heh, thanks dude, but aren't you like blind?" and matt shuts the call off immediatley

everybody knows matt is daredevil because he makes wink wink nudge nudge comments about it like 'ah. it appears that an entity has appeared near the dog park. castle appears to be on the scene now, and...ok, he's got a gun. i cant do anything about that, but my pal (noises of him scrambling and obviously knocking things over) daredevil might be able OKHERESTHEWEATHER" and it cuts off and like. he shows up 5 seconds later to kick frank in the face for using lethal measures AGAIN

EVERY TIME IT CUTS TO THE WEATHER AND THEN CUS BACK AND THE PROBLEM HAS BEEN SOLVED ITS JUST MATT. like. breathing just a little heavier than normal into the mic like. 'so it appears uh. the issue has been resolved thanks again to daredevil and his pal moon knight. such a shame i had to cower under my desk while the weather was on. ok goodnight'

the funky thing abt nightvale in this au is that it's basically just like. new york from 616 but foggy's like. from our earth so he's like HWAT THE FUCK AND AHIT IS GOING ON IN HERE ON THIS DAY AND WHY CANT I LEAVE he gets kidnapped by super villains on like his second day in town and immediatley regrets every life choice he's ever made

matt works at nightvale radio by day and conviently cuts to the weather every time something comes up so sometimes there's like. 7 half hour weather broadcasts a day and the townspeople just. humor him

foggy falls in love with matt after figuring out after .5 seconds that he's daredevil and he saved him from a bunch of baddies on like his second day and matt compliments him on the radio like every day and yeah they're fuckin good ok assorted stupid college hcs: matt and foggy like to chill in each other's beds. foggy doesn't notice that often because matt moves back b4 he gets back and matt pretends not to notice but like. he can smell foggy was there. foggy. stop napping in this bed you're making my sheets smell like you, foggy, i KNOW they're silk and i know you think you're getting away with it but you're NOT,

matt, coming back into the dorm after being out for the day: foggy are you laying on my bed foggy, sitting up straight: nah pal. just sitting on the end for a minute hehe. just had to rest the old joints matt, knowing DAMN well that he was lying down a second ago and he's obviously lying but not being able to say anything; haha ok. move

hrnnn matt knows foggy is gay long before he tells him because he catches him in a lie about who he was out with but he can't say anything and like. he knows foggy is scared to tell him but he doesn't know how to bring it up and he's like. i want him to know he can trust me but i don't know how to tell him i know please foggy

foggys heart goes a mile a minute anytime the subject of being gay comes up around matt and matt wants to yell at him that it's OK and he doesn't care but his hints that he's fine with it seem to fly right over foggys head and so one day he gets so fed up with trying to convince foggy he's chill with gay people he just kisses him. wig

hrnnn. matt doesn't like the snow because it messes with his senses and he can't see but he can't say that to foggy so he just says he doesn't like the cold and foggys like "yeah doofus you weigh like three pounds you're skin and bone compared to me smh" and insists on cuddling him every time he sees matt get like That bc he thinks he's just chilly and it's. oddly comforting to matt because yeah. nobody really Holds him like that, and he Is Cold, and foggy is Warm,

matt gets Very touchey around people he's close with and so when he gets close with foggy he puts his arm around him a lot, rests his head on his shoulder, holds his arm even when they're not going anywhere, etc. foggys heart speeds up every time but matt just assumes that's what people hearts do when that happens because he doesn't really do that with anyone else and hey, he's happy when he does it and his heart maybe spikes a little too, but then he gets someone else's arm to lead him when foggys sick one week and their heart stays the exact same, what's up with that? so then he starts paying attention to all the people on campus, and the touching doesn't usually make the hearts go wild, but, well. matt 'sees' it happens and he's like HaHa, See, This is A Thing, and then he realizes that the people that have it happen to them? they're couples. and he just. freezes because first of all, Foggy- and at him- an- and second, his heart ALSO does a thing, so-

heres a rEALLY stupid unrelated au/hc i got after hearing a friends disater story hfdjhskja matt goes on a blind (hehe) date with a girl and it's pretty much a disaster, it turns out she brought her friend who is also meeting a guy at the same place, and like. she's obviously incredibly wack she says blind people are god's mistake and stupid shit like that so matt gets up halfway through their meal to go sit in the bathroom for 20 minutes while he thinks of an excuse to leave? and eventually a guy comes in and he's like 'uh hey, dude, you in here? your date grabbed her friend and left so we're both dateless now, thats a relief for me and unless you're just having incredibly bad bowel movements i think it's pobably one for you since you Have been in here for like half an hour uh im foggy by the way' and then they go back out and sit together and talk about how wack that fuckin was and like. inadvertent date

hey i can talk a lot of shit about how matt falls asleep on foggy but. sometimes foggy falls asleep on or next to or with matt and matt goes !!!! and he does not move and then he eventually falls asleep with foggy head on his shoulder and his head on foggys and when FOGGY wakes up and realizes matts still there and is ALSO asleep he doesn't move and eventually falls back asleep and then it's just like. waiting until the time aligns that they're both awake at the same time because neither wants to move and wake the other send tweet

SOULMATE AU:

foggy looks up from his college bed, sees matt, and suddenly EVERYTHING is fucking rainbow and he's like 'oh fuck. oh shit. wait. this is a dude' and matt's like 'is everything ok my guy?' because foggy's like. >:O and of course he has no idea because he's blind but foggy doesnt realise this and for a hot minute he;s like "OH FUCK. ITS ONE OF THOSE RARE OCASIONS WHERE HES PERFECT FOR ME BUT I'M NOT FOR HIM," and is about to s o b before he's like wait a fucking minute

yknow the au where like. the first words you hear from your soulmate are marked on your skin at birth? foggy's are 'excuse me', absolutley common, a chance meeting, and he stops jumping every single time he hears them after age 8 when he realises just how many times that phrase is said. matt's are 'yeah, who're you looking for,' but he doesnt remember that, there's no constant reminder of it since he's blind, the nuns wouldn't tell him, the kids made up childish shit like 'poopoo', and stick DEFINITLEY wouldnt fucking tell him because hes stick and hes an asshead and eventually matt stops asking and caring. it takes WEEKS for after they meet for foggy to ask matt about his words and matt just says 'oh yeah, i dont remember. here" and shows foggy and when he sees them he's like. 'hm. sounds familiar' and forgets about it untill like two years later theyre drunk and talking about the first time they met and matt's like 'yeah you asked like 'who'm i looking for and then panicked because i was blind' and foggy's brain just like. short circuits for a whole ass minute and then when it clicks he just goes. "yOU"

TRANS MATT:

matt realises when he's still in the orphanage that mayhaps he hates being not a dude and haha! hes not gonna fucking come out to catholics he knows about That. he tries to tell stick, around the time their closest, and FUCK STICK he refuses to call him anything else or support him becaise stick is a peace of fuck shit FUCK STICK so that scars matt from coming out for a DAMN while so like. when he goes to college he introduces himself to everyone as matt and emails his proffesors like. 'hello please my name is redacted on your forms please call me matt its uh. a nickname' and he's not like. out to anyone but matt is close enought to his deadname that most people don't question it. foggy does, though, a little while after they meet, and matt is so fed up with not telling people and being called the wrong pronouns he just goes 'i want to be a guy ok' and goes absolutley APESHIT when foggy's like 'oh, cool. do you want me to use he pronouns for you' because wait. people are...ok sometimes? and matt's like. about to cry

alternatley: matt says "I don't wanna be a girl." and foggy goes "oh hey are you trans? same hat!" and then foggy tells matt like. binding tips and shit and theyre Good ok

deadpool kills transphobes, sm n dd just fucking beat the SHIT out of them in a back alley and like. they let DP know where they are but whatever happens happens :D

elektra, impaling two transphobes onto the side of a building with her knives: matthew, i know you can hear me, why

one day elektra sees matt has dumped a guy on her roof and just. sighs and goes back inside and matt waits for like 15 minutes before halfheartedly picking up the dude and dropping him off at franks.

matt dropped them off at nats One Time and she went apeshit and hunted down like 20 more of them.

foggy, holding a bat: cmon matt let me kill ONE matt: 'fine but if you get caught im not going to be your lawyer.'

INTO THE DEVILVERSE AU:

earth 14512/TRN700 (peni parker’s universe) matt murdock has a robot seeing eye dog who's also a vigilante

hddjdsjdhdn they all show up to earth 6's foggy and he just. sighs and all the devils start crying because He Is Here

hmm ok. canonically we know nothing about miles's matt but we know he exists and is known figure because miles knows of him but doesn't know he's daredevil i'm Prefty Sure so like. i'm gonna say he's just a successful lawyer who has radarsense but never got yoinked away from the orphanage by stick and never got training so like. hemndhdjsjnow the QUESTION is who finds that matt because there's a Very Different outcome depending on if like. murderdock meets him first or the matt from hobopeters universe does

hmm. murderdock comes in first like gwen does but doesn't out himself as competent w like swords and shit. but he OH HES THE OPPOSING FORCE FOR UH A COURT CASE MATT IS IN AND MATT HAS NO IFEA HOW SIMILAR THEY LOOK BECAUSE HES BLIND HRNNNNNHSHDHDHDJ and then matt from HP's universe comes in like HEY YOURE ME RIGHT. what the FUCK i need the laws in this dimension STAT and murderdock ':"sees" him and is like ah fuck. my goose may be uhhh cooked

ok mileses matt is like 'so what brought y'all here??? hhh???? and murderdock sighs and goes well my boss who's not really my boss from MY universe is doing something stupid here and opened a dimensional portal and it could maybe tear the multiverse apart which i guess i'm not stoked about' and matt's like 'who's your boss?' and murderdock begrudgingly says 'wilson fisk' and matt immediatley goes >:O because he's CONSTANTLY defending people who were injured as a result of what fisk and his company do

anyways. matt immediatley rushes to foggys because "foggys my partner, he's helped me deal with fisk, he knows him, he can help," and he swings open the door and like. one of two things happens actually either A: foggy is like matt. MAATT. AHAT IS GOING ON WH. WHY IS THERE A TALKING DEER WEARNING SPANDEX WHO CLIMBED THROIGH MY WINDOW MATT PLEASE HE SAYS HES Y O U or like. matt walks in and deerdevil is playing pattycake with robodog and daredevil noir is incessantly flirting with foggy and when matt comes in foggys like 'hey. i don't know what's going on but i think i'm trading my best friend'

murderdock is like...the cool college student who tells freshies about weed murderdock: so, you don't know how to fight right matt: no??? i'm blind??? md: but you can kinda see right. matt: yeah like a radar kinda md: normal blind people can't do that you know matt: they wHAT md: you can listen to heartbeats if you try hard enough. you can tell when people are lying matt: i can W H A T md: yeah. what me to teach you how to kill a man matt: W H AT NO IM A L A W Y E R WH

hrnnn the matts in this universe push our matt away to stay with foggy because he doesn't deserve 2 die and you KNOW every matt pushes people away but foggy is like. matt i know you tried it's ok i lov you buddy and he's like HRGGHHHH FUNCK YOU and makes foggy tell him stories untill he can distinguish lies and hide in a place around their office untill matt can like. find him instantly and training montage shit you feel me and he rolls up to the collider in his black pjs like "hello my fellow devil men. i hear you all have no plan. well. i don't either but i'm here" and one matt is like. how did you go-OH YOU DID IT and all the mats high five and cry a littlethey're still reluctant to let matt come help but they're all like. "we're all depressed and suicidal anyways we all have big guilt and if we didn't let him i lnOW he's gonna have big guilt forever he can stay"

THE PENUMBRA PODCAST AU:

foggy is a private eye, kinda depressed a lil bit, and he works w his secretary karen who helps him with tech and stuff because he is god awful at all that

"mike whatevermaggiesmaidennameis" is an occult specialist from dark matters agency assigned by an agent natasha of dark matters to help him with his current case.

foggy does NOT want to do this with any damn occultist or whatever the hell but before he can escape mike shows up and god DAMN is he charming and catches him before he can climb out the window, so. that's that for introductions. anyways, hijinks, elektra is cassandra, if you care listen to the murderous mask, anyhoo foggy stars to notice something is kinda weird about matt but brushes it off. they finish investigating and retrieve an important artifact.

it's cold, mike says. sorry dude, all the places near here are closed, foggy says. is your place? mike asks. oh, says foggy they go back to foggys place and maybe make out a little bit, but foggy realizes oh shit, mike just tried to steal the keys to my safe where i stored the artifact, shit, and plaxces him under arrest before he can do anything, and calls the cop cops.

they come to take mike away, and minutes later foggy finds a note, scrawled INCREDIVLY messily, in his pocket. "sorry," it says, "i wasn't tricking you about anything i said, and i meant everything i did. -matt murdock ps. check around, say, X avenue. you may have to do a bit of cleanup." when foggy checks cameras that overview there, he find the officers that took murdock from his apartment hogtied together, and sees their clothes strewn on the ground - forming letters - with love. their car is gone. PODCAST AU:

matt listens to podcasts a lot right and so foggy is like hmm mayhaps this is a good idea. but the type of podcasts they listen to differs so incredibly like matt listens to serial and the wildest one he listens to is probably judge john hodgman whereas foggy listens to shitpost podcasts like mbmbam and can i pet your dog foggy keeps referencing mbmbam around matt because he just assumes that he listens to it and matt is so confused every time and one day foggy says "damn matt you're really horny for this one huh" and matt just snaps and says FOGGY WHAT DO YOU M E AN

so then they are like oh shit you're not listening to the good ones. no YOURE not listening to the good ones. solution? listen together which means sharing earbuds which means sitting next to eachother on small college bed which means????? cuddling

also eventually they decide fuck it. let's make our own podcast and they combine the mbmbam and jjh format so they get questions and do goofs and stuff and then give actual legal advice but sometimes foggy will be like "ok. here's what you do. you need a cat? go into the pet shelter and take one. what are the gonna do beat you up with their cat toys? didn't think so." and matt starts crying because "Fo g g y WE ARE LAWYERS I KNOW YOURE GOOFING BUT THATS ILLEGAL FOGGY YOI CANT TELL OUR LISTENERS TO GO DO CRIME"

COFFE SHOP AU:

matt has a caffeine addiction and constantly comes to foggys coffee shop and orders one black coffee every morning and foggy eventually is like. hey buddy. do you EVER drink ANYTHING F U N EVER

matts like...no...i need coffee as strong and dark as my soul... and foggys like ok edglelord. wait up i'm about to change your life

foggy makes him a latte that's just a little bit caramelly but not too sweet and he's like here. drink this. no charge you deserve to live a little. also here's your boring edgy coffee you still have to pay me for that one. matt tries it and he's like hmm. not bad, but just not. Good and foggy is like wow fuck you. i'm going to find a good drink for you that isn't this hell water so every morning matt comes in and foggy gives him a black coffee and a free Fun and Cool coffee on the house

matt always is polite even when foggy can tell he DESPISES what foggy made but he's not going to stop untill he finds something god damn it matt

ok anyways they start meeting up more. matt starts taking his breaks in the coffee shop and and foggy hmmm...always seems to have a shift off when matt comes down..hmm. coincidence....hmmm....theo suffers for him by covering all his shifts when matt comes in and he's like well, actually fuck work

eventually foggy is like hey dude. do you wanna test my drinks before they go on the menu or help me perfect my recipes and shit you have a good toungie right (matt goes apeshit, because fuckin FOGGY YOU CABT SAY THAT) but he's like haha yeah. that'd be fun. haha

and then foggy finds out matt is INCREDIBLE at baking when he hands him a cookie and matt goes. hmm. too much flour add a fourth a cup less and a pinch more of saltand he's like??? bitch. i'd like to see you do better. and then matt does

so basically every day foggy closes up a little earlier and lets matt in and they dick around in the kitchen and bake and make coffee and foggys shop gets more and more popular because hey this already really good joint just started selling the most BALLER carrot cAke waht the fucké

anyways fall comes around and foggy is like GUES WHATT ITS TIME FOR WHITE GIRL DRINKS TRY THIS and he gives matt a pumpkin spice latte and matt is like. •.• THIS IS IT. THATS THE ONE

and foggy starts crying MATT PLEASE YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. PKEASE MATT, MATT I CANT ADD PSL YEARROUND BECAUSS YOURE A BASIC WHITE BITCH MATT

he bullies foggy into keeping the latte on the menu by threatening to stop helping him bake and foggy is SO OFFENDED, on behalf of good taste everywhere, matt, please,

anyways foggy continues rags on matt for only liking the shittiest fucking drink god damn it matthew fucking hell i make you 3 billion and THIS is the one you pick you disaster and matt is like haha shut up. stoopid

foggy doesn't, and you can guess where this be headed because i'm gay and soft,

matt kisses him and foggys like. ?????????? and matt goes AH FUCK. I COULDNT THINK OF A BETTER WAY TO GET YOU TO SHUT YOUR MOUTH SORRY. GUESS ILL GO and foggy throws cookie dough at him and drags him back over because he's not leaving fuck that. fuck you. and then they're happy and domestic the end

wait i lied matt opens a pro-bono firm in the back of foggy's shop and he gives all his clients freshly baked dessert and coffee and he's so good at being a lawyer and foggy becomes so good @ running his shop that customers keep coming and they're the Cute Gay Couple everyone knows abt and loves

ACCIDENTAL (?) KISSING:

SO. there are so many god damn moments foggy nearly fucking breaks and smooches matt out of sheer unbridled uwu soft feelings. SO MANY. when they win their first mock trial together and matt looks so FUCKING happy and he tells foggy how good they work as a team and foggy is about to lose his mind but he just goes. 'haha yeah' and gives matt a fist bump they finish taking the bar: matt's had to take it in a seperate room, stupid blind accommodations. he finishes first because OF COURSE HE DOES HE'S MATT MURDOCK and the second foggy finishes and leaves the room he sees matt there and he's filled with so many emotions he's about to go apeshit but he manages to contain them JUST enough not to make out with matt on the spot but gives him the tightest fucking hug and matt's like "ok buddy! love you too! please dont break my ribs!" and foggys too happy to notice matt forgot to flinch like he didnt know foggy was coming

Foggy gets the sign to matt and he can tell how fuckin stoked matt is and all he can think about is how grateful he is that the two of them get to work together and fucking do GOOD together and he's trying to express that in his awkward foggy way and he's GOING to kiss him right then and there!! hes about to do it look out world!!! and then matt says "you're NOT going to kiss me" and foggy realises haha YEAH THATD BE A BAD IDEA HUH and jokes it off and gives matt another hug - "i'll be careful not to break the ribs this time, buddy, seems like you've been falling over and hurting yourself enough recently,"-

foggy almost kisses matt out of anger when he finds out he's daredevil, when he won't shut up about how this city needs him and foggy would have done the same and blah, blah, bullshit because maybe then he'd FUCKING listen to him, or at least it'd shut him up, but the honest betrayal he feels - at matt for not telling him and at himself for STILL having a part of him that wants to kiss matt - is enough to get him just to leave : ^)

alright. the gang is watching fisk get carted away and see that SHIT, he's broken out, of course it wasnt going to be this easy. matt puts karen in a taxi goes to run off and foggy grabs him by his coat because MATT. you're not going to go fight fisk in your god damn pajamas right now it's too dangerous you're going to die you stupid son of a bitch idiot

and of course matt doesn't listen, he tells foggy to get back into the car with karen, go to his place, they'll be safe there, and grabs his own taxi

and foggy's left to sit there with karen in the cab as it drives Oh Too Fucking Slowly to matt's, and he's mumbling curses all the way and karen is trying to calm him down, he doesnt know why he's so worried, and all foggy can think about is what if matt dies because i didnt stop him and what if karen never gets to hear it from him and about 10 billion what-ifs that wont leave him the FUCK alone, and he sits next to the windowsill he knows matt comes in through and waits, not even wanting to look at the tv because what if he sees worse news Hrgh

matt beats up fisk and he barely even waits for the cops to get there, he gets one look and confirms 'yup, that's mahoney,' and fucking BOOKS it to his apartment, he climbs through the window and foggy's just sitting there waiting, karens in the next room watching the broadcast at a 3 minute delay on her phone, matt doesnt have a tv hes BLIND >:,\

and when matt comes in, bloody and beaten up and doing That Panting Thing He Does, but definitley alive, foggy just fucking. grabs him by the shoulders and kisses him because HE IS A L I V E !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and matt is suprised but he doesnt even try to protest because he's still riding the adrenaline from the fight

anyways. foggy pulls away for air and says 'you're so fucking stupid and i hate you' and then matt kisses hIM because uhh, thats FOGGY

and it's a minute later that matt senses another heartbeat and realizes karen's standing in the doorway, and she raises an eyebrow and obviously trying not to panic asks 'uh, foggy, pray tell, buddy, why you're making out with the devil in matt's bedroom' and foggy goes apeshit and tries to think of an excuse that doesn't invole 'uh thats matt' but it just kinda comes out as some stupid shit like 'i,,, uh,,,,, secret,...affair,,?i',m....gay." and matt just sighs and pulls off his helmet like "hey karen. it's me. hey karen whats poppin its me blind matt murdock" and needless to say they all have a Lot to talk abt

DRUNK KISSING:

so like. the first year they're together matt and foggy go out a lot, and it's mostly foggy dragging matt places and matt reluctantly coming because A) if someone doesnt watch foggy this idiot is going to puke and pass out in a ditch and B) he really like his company shh. no telling because that gay

anyways matt usually only drinks a little but foggy is mad lightweight right. he doesn't get shitfaced too often, usually only after exams or when he knows he has no classes the next day. when he does get shitfaced though he absolutley loses his shit and becomes even more touchy than usual, which is VERY TOUCHY because fuck you its my au and i get to choose the default affection levels

so basically. once foggy starts hugging matt and leaning on him and whining into his shirt about the 'hot girls' and 'killer nachos' at the party matt knows it's time to head home and foggy is too busy wrapping his arms around matt to notice he's being dragged out untill its too late

and y'know, thats fine, that's usual, all normal friend stuff, except what foggy also has a tendancy to do when he's drunk is kiss matt. sometimes its on his cheeks, or his forehead, or his shirt?? matt doesnt get that one??? and sometimes foggy even tries to go for the lips when hes particularly wilde. matt knows to expect this by the third time they go out, but it's still always a suprise when it happens, because sometimes it'll be out of nowhere when theyre walking back, or foggy'll stop matt and grab his cheeks and kiss him? sometimes they'll get all the way back to the dorm and matt will make foggy lie down and foggy will grab his shirt and pull him close enough to give him a quick peck before rolling over and promptly beggining to snore

which, y'know, is absolutley great for a maybe-gay-for-his-best-friend-catholic. what's also great is that foggy never seems to remember the fact he kissed matt the night before, and if he does, he definitley does NOT bring it up

so that's fine. whatever. thats life and matt will pretend like he doesnt care when foggy gives him a smooch because hes straight and loves girls and jesus christ, no homo, amen

but THEN. . then matt and foggy have been studying for exams for weEKS and theyre FINALLY DONE, FINALLY, and they are both going to get wasted out of their mINDS you better BELIEVE IT

so they do! and eventually they stumble back to their dorm together and sit together on the floor with a half-downed bottle of tequila and matt decides fuck it. he tells foggy he's never kissed a guy and foggy is like "haha cool. i have." matt's like "haha was it good" and foggys like "hell yeah man better than girls" so matts like hmm. "foggy i think i want to kiss a guy" and you can guess where this is goin

foggy is an oblivious little shit and just thinks matt's having a gay awakening so he's like "oh cool" and matt starts vibrating at inhuman frequency because FOGGY THIS IS THE ONE TIME I"M BASICALLY ASKING YOU TO DRUNK KISS ME AND YOU D O N T" so he just goes "haha yeah." and foggy's like "haha yeah"

and then matt chugs the bottle of tequila and says "foggy i think i wanna kiss you" and then he does but he's a good christian and also stupid so he just like. goes mwah on foggy's cheek

and foggy stares at him for like 15 seconds before basiclly challenging him to 'kiss him like a man, murdock, how are you supposed to get the gay experience if you dont go all in' and then they make out for like 20 minutes and life is good

(they both wake up w the worst fucking hangovers and theyre passed out on the floor and matt's like "foggy....im gay..." and foggys like "haha do you remember i kissed you" and matts like "????foggy i kissed YOU" and foggys like "oh yeah you did. you should have done that earlier" and matts says "????you were too busy trying to kiss me" and foggy goes "oh haha i was. cool" and then they fall back asleep...then they.....boyfriend.s)

FLOWER SHOP/TATTOO ARTIST AU:

so. matt is a florist and he runs a little shop across the street from an empty piece of real estate. a tiny place that used to be a deli but had just the WORST sandwiches, it was no wonder they closed down, god damn. anways. matt runs his shop with his best friends kirsten and karen who have IMPECCABLE taste in flowers and less impeccable taste in impulse control and not being huge lesbians.

one day this dude pulls up into matt's shop. his request is maybe the strangest matt's ever heard - 'can you get me two bouquets of like, the most metal flowers you have? like, ones that just look super cool but also, yknow, smell super good and sick and shit?'

matt laughs, and tells the guy that yeah, he can't help with the looks part, but he'll make sure to get him some that smell 'quote' sick and shit, come back tomorrow morning and they'll have some ideas-hey, what are these for anyways?

and the guy tells him, oh, hah, i'm moving in across the street, opening a little tattoo place? wanted some flowers to make it seem more, uhh....welcoming. matt laughs and says yeah, sure, cool, and tells him if he has anymore questions to call the store and ask for matt. the guy tells him if he ever wants a tattoo just cross the street and ask for foggy and unless the flowers matt gives him really suck he won't do him dirty and tattoo a dick on him

so anyways, they have a couple meetings, foggy decides on the flowers he wants and thanks matt and tells him hey, he should come check out the shop, it's opening tomorrow, and foggy wants to be able to point to the guy who did the sick florals. matt doesnt have anything better to do and he likes the sound of this guy's voice so hell, he might as well

when he goes over matt realizes oh shit. he really is out of his element here, but he asks the guy at the counter for 'foggy' and is led over to a corner where foggy's sitting and tattooing...himself? and matt realizes hey. i kind of have no idea what this dude looks like

so he sorta. sits there awkwardly untill he asks like. 'uh. i cant actually see what youre doing' and foggy goes OH IM SO FUCKING STUPID. i'm. man, saying this out loud seems kinda really stupid and cheesy i cant believe i have to do this...i'm....it's one of the flowers in the bouquet you made me....i just thought it looked really neat and smelled good and it....kinda reminds me of you and OK i KNOW that sounds really weird we met like 4 days ago BUT you seem super cool and i kinda hope we can maybe like. be friends or hang out or something,

and matt's like. o//////o yeah okay. uh. thats cool. thats cool uh im sure the flower is really pretty haha i love that type haha UH DO YOU WANT TO GET LUNCH OR SOMETHING haha maybe ill get a flower tattoo one day its pretty cool that you do tattoos UH IM FREE TOMOROW WAIT MAYBE THATS TOO SOON IM SORRY UH IM FREE WEDNESDAYS,

and foggy just kinda laughs and says 'no, tomorrow works,' and hey! they make plans and get coffee together and matt's like so. what tattoos do you have and foggy starts listing a bunch and eventually matt's like :( i wish i could see them they sound beautiful and foggy's like. here. heres my arm can i. yeah ok. and he grabs matts ar,m and he's like ok. feel the skin, its still a little raised can you feel that? ok, run your fingers over here and i can like. tell you wjats there

cue like an hour of sensual arm touching and tattoo explaining and the more matt learns about foggy and his tattoos and the more he hears the way he talks the more he's like A) oh fuck, i kinda really like this guy whos letting me feel up his arms and B) do i want a tattoo? i kind of want a tattoo

anyways. time jump they hang out a bit more, foggy always comes into matt's shop and talks to him in between customers, shows him the patterns he's designing, etc, and one day he comes in with a paper that has a design of some flowers on it and shows it to matt and as he's running his fingers across it he stops and says 'foggy? will you do this to me'

and foggys like 'bud are you sure? first tattoo, right, do you-are you really sure you want to do this, like, when, and wh" and matt's like 'shut up and put this ink in my skin before i chicken out' so matt sits through a PAINFUL ASS TATTOO and when it's done he's like FOGGY CAN I TOUCH IT CAN I TOUCH IT FOGGY CAN I TOUCH IT and foggy has to physically restrain matt from fondling his tattoo because its FRESH MATT

so foggys like 'ok, this is cause for celebration! babys first ink! we;re getting beers cmon' and they both go out to drink and matt's like 'hey foggy...can i touch more of your tattoos' and foggy's like 'uh, sure, i have another armfull,' and they do that for a while untill matt gets to the one foggy did the first time he visited foggy's tattoo parlor and foggy's like hah. remember this one? and matt's like yeah. i do. and they kinda just. sit there for a minute and then foggy's like 'ok. im gonna kiss you now punch me if you hate this, flowerboy' and matt absolutley does not punch him, thank you very much

and when they finish having their moment matt's like 'wow. i shoulda....i shoulda asked to feel you up again way sooner if i knew you were gonna do that' and foggy's like 'hey...i'd let you feel me up anytime' and they both kind of laugh and decide ok, worm, this works, and decide theyre gonna do that more often

they start to go out for drinks / dinner / lunch / any time they possibly can, and matt learns the curvature of foggys (suprisingly muscley?) arms down to a t, but he runs out of space to run his fingers over one night, and foggy kisses him and says 'hey. i've got more tattoos, y'know, but i don't think many people would appreciate it if i showed them off to you here' and matt is like 'wh-O H'

and foggy laughs and drags him to his apartment and pulls of his shirt and says 'ok, we're alone now. tell me what you feel' and matt sits on the bed in front of him and theres lots of sensual chest stroking going on and then yeah. matt gets fed up with all this touching foggy and not enough of foggy touching him and. they fuck oopsie

and after that they decide worm. that was good, wanna do that more often, holy shit, and decide to actually date date and thats like. thats that babey!

but years later they open a joint shop, an absolute mess of soft/punk aesthetics and everyone knows them because matt is still a soft florist who just has a fewwwww dozen flowers inked all over him and foggy is the punk god who flexes his sleeves all over town but flexes his soft boyfriend husband even more tHE END

#long post #mattfoggy #hcs

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overanalyzing-homestuck · 6 years ago

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“🔺we’re forbidden to contribute genetic material to the slurry and no pailing is allowed once we mature, for some i dunno bullshit old-fashioned reason that i pretty much dont understand at all🔻”

I can’t help but wonder why this is. What purpose does not allowing jadebloods to contribute genetic material serve? You would think that would be one of the only ways to continue having trolls in the society that are meant to take care of grubs and to “continue the species.” (But clearly, there’s no trouble in jadebloods being born, but it likely contributes to the small number of them) So, why?

Obviously, there’s the jadeblood relation to the virgin mary. But I feel like there’s more to it than just that. I feel like it’s a method to control the jadeblood population. But why would Alternia/Doc Scratch feel the need to keep the jadeblood population in check?

What powers do we know that jadebloods have? None, really, except for the fact that they have the potential to turn into rainbow drinkers, and then they obtain everything that comes with being a rainbow drinker. Because rainbow drinkers are so powerful, they would be more equipped to take down the Alternian system (remember when kanaya was able to kill eridan, despite the people in the friendsims claiming that seadwellers are extremely difficult to kill?), and they would also have the education to know how fucked up Alternia is, given that they have access to a wide array of books that, presumably, other castes don’t really have access to (but this is simply an educated guess based on what tyzias said about the books possibly being useful to her research). Therefore, Alternia would want to limit the possible number of rainbow drinkers.

Fewer jadebloods=fewer rainbow drinkers. However, if every jadeblood turned into a rainbow drinker when they died, then wouldn’t there be more of those around? Not to mention the fact that they wouldn’t be considered mythical creatures?

I’ve got a few ideas. First off, it’s important to note that jadebloods are isolated from everybody else. This would mean that any jadeblood who did turn into a rainbow drinker would be easier to hide away. Third, you have to wonder if there are any requirements or prerequisites to becoming a rainbow drinker.

Now, the only evidence we have of rainbow drinkers is in Homestuck with Kanaya. Two major things happened before Kanaya became a rainbow drinker: she died (shot through the chest by Eridan) and she was kissed by Karkat in a desperate attempt to revive her.

The first one is something that happens to everyone: they die. Death might be one requirement, and so jadebloods are put into relatively safe caverns (in comparison to the rest of Alternia) so that they don’t die

The second thing is something that may be a reason why jadebloods aren’t allowed to contribute genetic material: they have to be kissed to become a rainbow drinker.

With the context that jadebloods are forbidden from contributing genetic material and the fact that other trolls must provide genetic material to avoid getting culled, there’s absolutely no reason to seek a relationship with a jadeblood. In fact, doing so might just get the jadeblood killed in the process (i’m assuming getting culled is the punishment for fucking when you’re not supposed to fuck just like every other punishment on Alternia). This, of course, makes me wonder how the hell Bronya managed to get into a relationship with Elwurd, given these facts, unless Elwurd had a kismesis and therefore didn’t have to worry about being unable to contribute genetic material. (This also relates to Bronya’s clearly rebellious nature)

In addition, because jadebloods aren’t allowed to leave the caverns, they only really know other jadebloods, and so that doesn’t offer much room for making connections and relationships with other people, not to mention that fact that none of these jadebloods are allowed to fuck, so there’s also that

So, no relationship=no kissing, which means the second prerequisite for becoming a rainbow drinker can’t be fulfilled.

So, all these rules for jadebloods are in place to prevent them from turning into rainbow drinkers and overthrowing the alternian system

#hiveswap friendsim #spoilers #hiveswap friendsim spoilers #hiveswap friendsim analysis #homestuck analysis #daraya jonjet #kanaya maryam #analysis #hiveswap analysis #rainbow drinker #jadebloods #i know this is an absolute wild theory but still #theory

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onepunchmiss · 6 years ago

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OPM s2e3 Live Blog

“The Hunt Begins”

Ok I had 3 screenshots leaked to me before seeing the episode, but only one of them was spoiler-y in that I wasn’t sure if we’d get that far in the episode. And of course not only did I not leave work early, but had to stay an hour late. So without further delay, I’m hoppin to it. Reminder, I’m watching each episode as someone who is caught up with both the manga and web comic.

Alright, off the bat we’re getting the Charanko expulsion over with. I wasn’t expecting that, but it makes sense- it’s a good hook to lead with and set up the Garou issue before actually getting into Garou destroying everyone.

BTW I am Still not over the opening theme- nope it still gets me both visually and musically. (I definitely was not listening to the song on repeat at work all day. nope. what kind of nerd would do that definitely not me hahaaaaaa)

I like that Charanko doesn’t bat an eye that The Worlds Strongest Man King is there, or Blizzard of Hell, he’s just like ‘ah they’re multiplying.’ Fuckin kek. Saitama oh sweetheart, “Silver Fang” may be cool but to us you’ll always be the One Punch Man oh dear my heart

oh OH YES Guys you have no idea how excited I am for this fight?? I know Tank Top Master isn’t really popular but like I’m a gym rat so I’ve got a soft spot for him and Superalloy. Guys, in the databook his favorite things are chicken breasts and protein. Also I mean hes actually a decent guy too, but----- Anyway, wasn’t too hard finding Garou, was it Charanko?

Oh, oh right. Let me clarify I’m excited to see TTM get some screen time. Also to watch trash son (aka Garou) kick some ass. I’m, I’m not excited about him kicking Mumen’s ass specifically. This is gonna hurt.

(garou scary face)

His faces literally make me shout WOAH at my screen ok thanks scary trash son. Ah, lookit the tanktopper army!! Fukkin Tank Top Mask is there to I’m- yes, just yes.

YES. MY BRO MY MAN KICK SOME ASS. Garou’s little ‘nani??’ omfg perfect.WAIT the little ‘haha~~’ THAT was perfect. I also need to point out here that in the manga Garou has a lot of crazy faces, like his expressions are very extra, (another way he’s a foil to Saitama, hah) but seeing them actually in motion speaking is borderline uncanny valley? They’ve creeped me out twice already and he’s been on screen for like 20 seconds? I mean i guess he IS going for the scary-monster thing, so uh, good job u freeky trash man you.

Oh, Tiger and Black Hole, I only missed you a little bit.

BOMB. ITS BOMB. YES. AAAHHH. I MEAN I KNEW HE WAS GOING TO SHOW UP IN THE EPISODE BUT IM STILL? HYPED??

Man the Garou music is really intense, holy shit. If I’m not mistaken something at least similar played when he was fighting at the HQ last episode. Honestly, I hope it’s not gonna be this sounding track every time garou gets in a fight. Cause, y’know, ge gets in a lot of those. It’s only been twice now and it’s still during establishing character moments so it passes, but I really really hope they switch it up or it will lose it’s epic feel.

Oh, there he goes with his creepy faces.

FUCK Mumen You FOOL. Also, how did you take that hit so well??? Tiger and Black hole are right for once. Oh you fools. Oh you fools. Stop it’s gonna get worse. ITS GONNA GET WORSE stOP TalKInG

Wait did Garou actually fake walk away in the manga?? I don’t remember that??? Gotta double check myself there cause that threw me off like? Garou??

Garou: 50% Uncanney Faces, 50% Badass

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand back to the freeky faces. Also, TTM’s “KUSO!!”

oh.

oh god.

The sound as he repeatedly bashes Mumen’s skull into the concrete. REPEATEDLY. my stomach. This fight is a rollercoaster of hype and pain oh no

Here have this screnecap so you can suffer, too

I must say, watching Garou fight otherwise is an absolute joy. The rest of this scene was so dynamic. I loved the way just glided through everyone and bounced around so fluidly. Keeping the water stream fist throughout it was also visually really pleasing. I need more. Give me more Garou fights, this is AMAZING. And that put us about half way through the episode like I predicted, which means I have no idea at what scene the episode will end.

“He’s here” Oh that was funny. Was that filler? I dont remember that either good shit good shit

YES IT THE

B A N A N A T I M E

TTM: “At least say I put up a good fight!!” Oh sweetheart I love you and appreciate you you did great

OH MY FUCK OH MY GOD OH FUCK GOOD OH FUCK SHIT FUCK

Oh shit that was a cool gag, how the newspaper flew past and garou just appeared. also. The most beautiful friendship is about to start and oh my god I’m so excited. Ok really I won’t lie- I would have been SCREAMING at Tareo on the screen if the didn’t just lead with Zombieman’s face in the catalog. I live for that pout. And his eyebrow is quirked like the heck u lookin at just. F. I’ve exhausted all my energy screaming at that. I’m so sorry.

Wait wait they still showed the side of his face again guys I’ve got it so bad for that 2D man help

I’ve waited so long for this scene. OH MY FUCK the little leg bob guys someone gif it NOW. I love both of them so much. Also, Tareo’s voice is adorable. Watching that kid go through some shit is gonna be heart wrenching. FFF Anyway, it looks like we are getting GoldenBall and Spring Mustachio this episode? I was torn either way if we’d see that much. huh.

Oohhh Shit Sea King and Melzalgald! Wassup flashbacks?? Oh my gosh Saitama looks so excited I think thats the happiest we’ve seen him in a long time? No wonder he takes an interest in martial arts! AH! The ticket! The ticket! The tournament ticket!! I know a bunch of people considered the tournament filler and found it annoying, but I’m so excited for it!! Like, it seriously gave me a whole new respect for Lightning Max and Snek, I can’t wait to see those boys get the spotlight for a second again!

OMFG What is this jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-- wtf I am Cackling?? Oh my fuck its still going this is Peak Comedy

AH! I missed them! And I wish the screen wasn’t so dark, but otherwise SEE WHAT I MEAN? Shit watching Garou move is fun as hell, even if he’s barely moving. Also, is that legit bullet fire sound effects? I also love that those two get drinks together regularly enough that Spring knew something was up when GB wasn’t there. So good so good.

Garou: “Ding ding ding” Me: glorious you bastard

Question, what the fuck is that sword made of that it shoots rainbows for miles? Is it the power of gay? I mean I personally don’t ship Spring and GB buuuuuuuuuuuuuut…………………………….

OH IM SO DISAPPOINTED GAROU DIDNT JUST FLIP US ALL OFF JUST A THUMBS DOWN CMON I WAS EXCITED FOR THAT I FEEL RIPPED OFF. Also there’s that music again, but it didn’t play the whole time thank goodness.

“Here comes the fan service to your screen” amirite?

Eh at least I got the satisfaction of watching the sleezeball get decked in the face. The brunette’s face when he asked for a kiss on the cheek is SUCH a MOOD. And oh fuck the ‘relax its for peace” Those two girls are the real stars of this episode I love them.

Obligatory “YES”ing at the screen rn hold on

OH FUCK GAROUS REACTION IS PRICELESS

Hey wait. HEY WAIT ARE THEY GONNA SHOW MY TRASH SON WAKING UP IN THE TRASH WHERE HE BELONGS??? THAT’S VERY IMPORTANT VERY

THE POST CREDIT SCENE. Genos I love you never change. Just. look at this precious boy. And the voice acting is perfect. I’m glad they ended on a humorous note this time. Gold.

IN SUMMARY: I honestly don’t feel like I have much to say or reflect on. I just really loved this episode. Favorite one yet. I mean of course I’m going to like it more as the story kicks the fuck up, but I genuinely had zero complaints, and actively enjoyed watching the animation.

Warning for next week btw, I’m going to be out of the country and also not really near civilization, so I probably won’t have wifi, so theres a good chance I wont be able to blog next week’s episode till I get back. Which I’m actually pissed about. because

WE ARE GOING TO GET TO SEE METAL BAE KICK SOME MONSTER ASS AND IVE WAITED SO MANY YEARS TO SEE HIS STUPID DELINQUENT FACE IN ACTION FUCK MY TIMING MAN IM BOTH EXCITED AND PISSED of all the weeks I had to live in the wilderness UHG. Bet your ass I’m going to TRY MY DAMNDEST to get internet next Tuesday.

I’ll hopefully see yall next week, thanks for reading!

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shhh-no-ones-home · 6 years ago

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alls fair in love and war thor x reader

+++++++++

Not my best come-back but here it is. Sorry it took so long.

Request from wattpad

"Thor x daughter of ares. New war goddess falling for the god of thunder"

This takes place before the first Thor movie (technically)

Also I'm sorry it's so jump-cutty but Ive been having a really hard time writing, specially this one. Idk why but my motivation level has literally been zero. So I'm sorry if it sucks or if it's not what you wanted, I did try.

Song: I'm made of wax Larry, what are you made of? by a day to remember

+++++++++

I ran across the open field, sword and shield in hand, my minimal armor clanking as I moved. I swung the weapon, dodging blows as I pushed forward my shield. I was a lone soldier surrounded by hundreds of creatures coming at me. I moved through them like a cat, never once getting touched by the enemy. I smirked as my sword drew blood in the last one of them. I stood tall and breathed heavily over the fallen army.

I took my battle stance as I watched a flash of light Pierce through the sky and disappear no sooner than it had appeared. I relaxed as he came into view.

"THOR! ODIN SON!"

I yelled across the field to him. I could see his smile though we had quite some space between us. I advanced towards him, stepping over and on the bodies I had just taken down.

"Y/n! Daughter of ares. It has been too long my friend."

I hopped down from the largest creature with a loud thud right in front of him.

"It has."

He scanned the field.

"I see my assistance is not required."

I nudged his shoulder with my fist.

"Never was, never will be. It is good to have someone to watch me conquer though."

We both laughed.

"Well after all this fighting war fury you must have worked up a large appetite."

I shiethed my my sword, clipping my shield to my back.

"You know me all too well."

"Heimdall!"

He yelled, his fist thrown up in the air along with mjolnir. The bifrost beam appeared around us and we were flying. As we stepped into the bifrost itself I removed my helmet, balancing it on my hip. I nodded towards the gatekeeper.

"Heimdall."

He nodded back.

"It is always a pleasure to see you y/n."

"Likewise."

Thor patted my back and walked passed me to the entrance. I followed him and we made haste walking along the rainbow bridge.

"The warriors three will be most excited to hear of your return."

I smiled at him.

"Yet the only one I think who genuinely likes having me back is the most glorious lady sif."

I winked at him and he raised an eyebrow.

"I assure you that volstagg, hogun, and fandral all adore your company when you visit."

I laughed at his antics.

"And what of the mighty Thor?"

He smiled genuinely at me.

"I am probably the most excited to see you when you come around, besides father of course. He enjoys your war stories and strategies though he rarely battles anymore."

I nudged him and Drew my sword.

"Come, let us fly."

°°°°°°°°°

As we walked into the palace I looked around at all the gold. I had almost forgotten how large this place was. It was much different from Olympus. as we moved forward we were met with the warriors three, each of them greeting me with their own personal flare.

"it is good to see you all again i must say."

volstagg patted thor on the back.

"i say this calls for celebration, it is rare for you to visit us anymore, besides im sure the all-father could use a good story or two."

i laughed at what he had to say.

"im sure he would, what say you thor? shall we wine and dine as the midgaurdians would say?"

he smiled at me.

"i dont see why not."

°°°°°°°°°

i heard music drifting through the hall ways as i made my way to the dining hall. the food smelled amazing and i was eager to get to the party. it had been a while since i had talked to the all-father much less thor. i had almost missed him and his band of misfits, it didnt help that i had had a crush on him that had developed over the last few centuries. I walked forward to the table and bowed to the all father. He grabbed my hand and kissed it gently.

"You need not bow before me child, you are like family, as well as a mighty warrior."

I smiled at him before he laughed and embraced me in a large hug.

"It is good to see you again Odin, it has been too long."

He let go of me and returned to his seat.

"Please, this feast is in honor of you, join us."

I nodded and took a seat next to him.

"I was honestly surprised you agreed to a feast all father."

"And why do you say that?"

I picked up a grape and put it in my mouth.

"With talk of war moving through the nine realms I would have figured you to be too busy to party with an old friend."

I sent him a look in anticipation of his response. He gave me a Stern gaze before tapping the table.

"Those are just rumors, you of all people should understand that."

I reached over to him, placing my hand on the table by his plate.

"Odin war runs in my blood, I can feel it pulsing through the galaxies. Maybe it won't be raging in the next few years but it is brewing and we needn't ignore it."

He went to open his mouth but Thor appeared at my side before he could say anything.

"Trading old stories?"

I just looked up at him but my gaze was torn away when Odin spoke again.

"Aren't we always my son?"

He smiled up at him.

"Why don't you take y/n on a walk across the grounds, many things have changed since she visited last."

I looked at him and drew my hand back, slowly standing.

"Yes I think that's a wonderful idea."

°°°°°°°°°

We walked through the garden side by side not really saying much but a sentence here or there about how things had changed. I personally didn't want to say much, I had too many political points running through my head about the on coming war. Suddenly Thor stopped.

"Something is troubling you."

I looked at him, watching him walk to the stone fence and sitting on it hesitantly.

"I thought I was harder to read than that."

He laughed.

"At first yes, but we've known each other long enough for me to know."

I sighed before joining him.

"I am troubled."

He reached over and took my hand in his.

"What troubles you?"

I looked up into his soft eyes.

"War."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Since when has war been something you overly concern yourself with?"

He was right.

"It's not just any war. I can feel something, something big. Something important, perhaps even world crushing."

He squeezed my hand.

"Well if that is true then we will fight this war together, Asgard and Olympus side by side."

I shook my head no and looked down at our intertwined hands.

"This is why I adore you Thor."

I looked up at him.

"You are as selfless as you can be and look for answers before you've even been brought a question."

He smiled at me.

"But I'm afraid this is a war we cannot win. Not you, not I, not either of our fathers. This is a war to end all wars."

His face dropped.

"Then we will fight until we cannot fight anymore."

I laughed at him.

"We will. Everyone will."

He brought my hand up to his heart and placed it gently on his chest.

"I would fight for you if that's what you wanted."

I could feel heat rise to my face, I hadn't felt like this in what seemed like a millennia.

"Lets not think about it now, war is not among us yet."

I took my hand away from his chest and moved it to his face.

"Let's drink, be merry, and love like no tomorrow."

He smiled before leaning down and kissing me.

"As it should be y/n."

#wattpad #thor #thor odinson #thor odison x reader #x reader #marvel #avengers #103

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