#also finally updated that busted cover

[muckyschmuck]

ITS FINALLY FUCKING OVER ITS

[starrywooyo]

treasure: seven.

synopsis: when y/n gets whooshed into an alternate universe, an adventure: one with pirates and monsters and much, much more

pairing: ot8! pirate ateez x fem! reader

genre: pirate au!!

!!warnings(per chapter)!! - [bellow cut!] poison, blood, knifes/daggers, guns, stitches, stabbing,kissing + implied smut

notes: ooooh!! again finally an update!! i tried to make it longer this time so i hope you enjoy and i'm sorry to say that next chapter will also be the last chapter 😭 dw though!! there's still things in the works for this book 👀👀

word count: 5.1K

taglist: (if you want removed or added to the list please lmk)

@toxic-babexe , @sunnyhokyu , @cambriel , @lelaleleb , @acescavern , @meowmeeps

if if missed anyone again just let me know!

series masterlist | main masterlist

previous chapter | next chapter

previously:

You sit yourself in the quiet and peaceful for a bit looking up at the stars.. Occasionally looking at the darkness of the ocean below from your viewpoint.  

You hear the crunching of the ground in the distance

“Sorry I kept you y/n.. I’m back” he says and sits beside you again.

…

Meanwhile back in camp dinner is ready, seonghwa tells wooyoung to go get both you and yunho so he goes to yunho's tent.. He's not there and he visits yours. You of course are also not there.. hmm

He returns to where everyone is sat around a mini fire and explains to seonghwa 

“Hwa.. yun and y/n.. they're not here” he tells the elder.

Seonghwa with a slight frown begins “what do you mean they're not-” 

Before he can even finish that sentence, Yunho's bursting through the clearing, panting heavily. He's covered in muck and is bleeding from his forehead 

“He got her.. Ha.. he got her” he says between pants trying to catch his breath.

“Who?”

He looks hongjoong right in the eye

He takes a shaky breath 

“The other me”

… 

“Sorry I kept you y/n.. I’m back” he says and sits beside you again.

“Took you long enough” you laugh and turn to look at him

Yunho’s already looking at you. there’s something strange about him, he drapes the blanket over your shoulders and you pull it tighter to yourself, thanking him. 

You sort of glance at his hands and you notice his knuckles are kinda busted and bloody..

You ask him about it to which he brushes it off as ‘nothing to worry about’ that should’ve been your first red flag..

Brushing it off though you take the telescope looking through it looking at the stars

“Hey yun.. What's that star there??” you ask

“Hmm? Let me see” and he takes the telescope from you

“A-aah that one? Hmm, isn't that the north star?” he says only you know that's not the star at all.. Alarm bells go off in your head as you quickly stand

“Shouldn't we be getting back? I-i'm sure Hwa’s finished making the supper” yunho stands as you say this, your nerves clearly showing

“What? But y/n.. Don’t you wanna watch the stars with me?” he asks but when you only continue to walk backwards he sighs and bends down picking up his hat? And placing it on

“You.. you’re not yunho” you speak.

“But I am,” he replies, walking closer to you. You shake your head in disapproval.

“Not my Yunho” your back hits a tree behind you.

He laughs, finally reaching you, placing his hand next to your head on the tree.

“We'll, aren't you a smart one? Hmm?” He smiles sickly. “Don’t worry, this won’t hurt a bit.. The poison might though” he says. And before you know it he’s stabbing your side with a small blade, your hands fly to your side, blood staining everything. “W-why?” your voice is small, you suddenly feel dizzy, your head falling into his chest, before your legs are giving way and you fall to the ground and the last thing you see before your vision going black is him towering over you, a smile on his face.  

… 

“AND YOU LEFT HER ALONE!!??” 

“Joong.. Don't shout at him..” seonghwa tries to calm him down

“Do you think for a moment that if I knew they were here too that I'd leave her by herself!!?? I didn't know hongjoong!!'' Yunho tries to also calm the captain down yet at the same time argues back..

sprinting to the cliff area where they hope you're still there.. But they're not so lucky once they come to the clearing at the cliff. 

Suddenly the peacefulness of the overlook is shattered with yells of your name. Each pirate screaming your name hoping for an answer or something, anything to know you're okay. 

Luck again isn't so lucky… 

There's a gasp..

“Captain!!” 

Everyone turns to face wooyoung and their hearts drop, he stands there holding a dagger with blood staining the blade.. It's fresh. 

“Fuck”

…

Slowly your eyes blink open.. You hiss due to the sudden light, you try to sit up but the sharp pain in your side stops you from doing so, your hands shooting to hold the area.

There's a chuckle.

“Careful there.. Don't sit up yet stupid, you got a nasty stab wound ‘ere plus i doubt the poisoning is any better” you hear the faint scratching of quill on parchment 

Your eyes drift around the room until they land on the familiar figure sitting on the seat just a little ways from the bed you lay on.

 “H-hongjoong?” you ask

He chuckles again and looks up from what he’s doing.

“Yes, precious? How’re you feelin? D’you need me to go get San, actually i will, he should give you a once over just to be sure” he says standing from his chair. Stretching his limbs with a pop. beginning to make his way to the door.

Slowly your memories of the pas incident come back to you all at once

“Y-yunho.. He stabbed me..” you say in disbelief. 

He stops.

“Yeah, he did precious” he looks at you ��i’ll explain it to you once san checks over you.. You've been knocked out for 3 days” he says whilst also telling you he'll be back soon. 

 San checks over you whist hongjoong observes quietly.

“so ?” he asks once san begins to pack his med-utensils away.

“She should be fine.. Just a little groggy and maybe a little out of it whilst the last effects of the poison gets out of her system and then of course pain where the stab wound is as it heals but for now it seems to be healin’ well, stitches are doing their job” he says and gives you a small smile.

Hongjoong seems to sigh from relief.

“Good, thank you san, you may go.” he said and said male exited the room.

He pulls up a chair to sit in front of you.

“So.. d’you think you're ready to know what happened and why?” he asks

You look into his eye

“You’re gonna have to tell me so I'm not afraid of yunho”. You say.

He nods his head slowly. “Very well”

“It may be a lot to take in but you need to know the truth.. No more secrets..

 The yunho who stabbed you looks identical to our yunho right? That's because he is. Each of us, Seonghwa, yeosang. San, mingi, woo and jongho and I included all have someone who's more so an identical copy even you.. Only those imposters aren't from this world precious.. They're from another universe much much different from this one, they call themselves halateez. their leader; the other me. He’s psychotic. He was madly in love with the you in that universe, you were his everything. He’d do anything for you or her sorry.. But the creatures that roamed that earth took her from him. And love? He’ll do just about anything to get you-her back. That's why i.. that we need the cromer device to send them back to that universe. Only when we were saving you from the trap they set.. They stole our map straight to the location of the cromer and we need that back before they try to steal you away from us.” he says and you try your best to take it all in

“wait wait- so let me get this straight. another version of you from a whole other dimension is trying to practically kidnap me and take me back to his dimension because the other me whom he was in love with or dating died??”

“Pretty much love… yes.” he says. Taking your hand in his and gently rubbing the skin.

You sigh out. “ and you didn't think to tell me this when i saw that creepy you in his creepy outfit that day in that town!!?” you see his eye slightly twitch

“I didn't think it was necessary love.. We had the map. Wasn't expecting you to get stabbed and for the map to be stolen.” he says.

“We need it back.. But do you think you're able to come with us to steal it back?? We need to distract their captain somehow” he adds with a smirk on his face.

You nod. “I’ll do it”

He smiles standing.

“Good. we leave at nightfall” 

… 

The forest is quiet.. Maybe a bit too quiet as you make your way towards the camp where the other crew takes refuge. 

Hongjoong raises his hand once you get to a small overlook everyone stops in their tracks.

Getting low to the ground to avoid being spotted he motions you over. You get into the same position. His hand resting on your lower back. 

He points to one of the larger tents. “That one’s the captain's tent. You should find the map in there somewhere. We’ll be keeping watch from up here and if we see them coming back we’ll give a signal or i’ll come get you precious don't worry” he says seeing the worried look on your face. “I'll walk you close enough before returning here, okay. Plan. go!” he says and everyone gets in their positions. And you walk beside hongjoong through the trees down the slope a little ways. 

“This is where I leave you precious,” he says as you nod your head at him.

“I’ll get your map back don’t worry joong” and you begin to walk away.

He quietly gasps air getting stuck in his throat as you walk away

“please .. please be safe.” he says with desperation in his voice.  

You eventually get to the edge of the forest before the camp, you eye your surroundings.. No ones there and it's quiet.. Again.. Too quiet. It's just a straight beeline towards the tent but it seems too easy. You walk slowly but quickly and you reach the opening of the tent. Turning back you look up to the overpass and see them watching intently hongjoong lifting his hand to give you a thumbs up as the go ahead. 

You peep into the tent slightly.. Empty.. Thank god. Taking a deep breath you enter.. The fabric flaps falling shut behind you.

The tent is dimly lit by lanterns, a makeshift table in the centre and crates and chests all around areas of the tent. You let out a deep breath, hopefully it won't be too difficult to find the map, and so you begin your search.

You go through papers, books and parchments anywhere where you think the map could be hidden or being kept. 

You're going through a chest shifting through the contents and you stumble across a tube with a symbol of an A in a red circle and a drawing of an.. hourglass?? That must be it!

 turning the tube you see very faint markings of what seems to be cromer written on the tube. You stuff the map inside your little pouch bag.

“y/n..?” you hear your name being called with a gasp

You turn to face the voice..

“Is.. is that really you?” hongjoong says.. No! It's the other hongjoong.

You whip out the small dagger attached to your belt on the side.

“S-stay back!” you aim the blade towards him.

Immediately he throws his hands up to show you he's no threat..

“y/n.. Come on..” he says “it's me.. Put the knife down, you don’t need to use it.” he says, stepping closer.

“Stop” you say more firmly “don’t come any closer.”

He takes a breath.”okay.. Okay. just relax” he says.

“Me.. relax!? I know who you are..”you say.

Hongjoong looks at you, confusion flashing on his face

“You’re sick! Do you really think just cause i look like your dead lover i'd go with you and fall in love with you? You really are psychotic.” you say venom lacing your words.

“y-y/n what?” he says in shock.

There's another laugh.

“That's right love.. Tell him straight”

His head whips towards the sound of the voice

“You.” he says disgust drowning his words

He ignores him “did y’get it love?” he asks and you nod slightly tapping your pouch.

He smirks “good.. Lets go love” he says motioning you towards him “don’t worry he’d be stupid to try something on you” he says opening the tent and making his way out. You follow him

“Woah- d’you really think im just gonna let you leave with that psycho!?” the other hongjoong says and grabs your wrist. You immediately rip your wrist from his hold and plunge the dagger into his shoulder.. Deep. “don't touch me!” you shout at him

He stumbles to the ground letting out a breath of pain, hand immediately going to his shoulder blood dripping from the wound staining his shirt and hand knife still protruding from his shoulder. 

He looks up at you tears brimming his eyes 

“y-y/n” he sobs out, in shock. 

You do nothing but glance over him in disgust and leave with hongjoong. The tent flaps closing over once more. 

…

With the map back in your possession, the crew make it back to the ship and begin the preparations for the journey to the island which holds the cromer. 

Everyone scurries across the deck, hongjoong barking orders left and right before he shouts for the sails to be dropped and then the ships setting sail to the horizon. 

It's just days of ocean and water as far as you can see and you’ll be honest you’re getting bored and have taken to wandering the ship. Bothering the crew when doing their duties.. 

You started with seonghwa bothering him when he was manning the wheel in hongjoong’s absence and continuing your bothersome ways following him to the kitchen as he prepared lunch for everyone to which he quickly sends you on your way to hopefully lessen his headache..

You then move to bothering yeosang in his study, you end up distracting him so much from his work that he also sends you on your way, you knew better than to disturb san so you avoided entering his medical study.. You find mingi sharpening blades to which you tried to help him but you just couldn't get the hang of it.. Sighing dejectedly you put the sharpening tool down and thank mingi for at least trying to help you with your boredom.. 

You can’t find woo anywhere and there's no way you’d try to find jongho after the last encounter on the beach.. So you go towards hongjoong’s room or the captain's quarters you should say. 

You knock on the door and here a light “come in”.. pushing open the door you see him just like the first time.. Sat hunched over the table seemingly hard at work.. Only this time instead of getting mad at you he smiles upon seeing you

“Ah.. y/n love come in” he says looking briefly back at the papers on the desk.

“A-are you busy?” you ask him 

He sighs out

“I am love yes..” before he could continue apologising for disrupting his work and say you’ll take your leave, before you can even open the door he grabs your wrist  gently tugging it from the handle and slightly pinning you to the door

“Never too busy for you though.. love” he says in a hushed tone.

It would be lying to say your heart did not race at his words, your breath getting caught in your lungs.. A fact that even he doesn't miss a soft smile graces his lips before he pulls himself from you 

“Crew tells me you've been bored today,” he says, making his way to a smaller table in his room. 

You sort of groan at his words.. Of course they'd tell him you were being a pest today.. 

“Tell me my love, d’ye know how to play?” he asks, gesturing to the wooden chess board that lays upon the table.    

“I do..” you respond, making your way toward the table, having played with your grandfather countless times back home when visiting them.. You sit on the little stool at the table.

 Hongjoong also sits down 

“Wanna challenge me?” he asks, tilting his head. “Winner gets the other to do something for them? loser has to do it, no questions asked?” he adds, hand outstretched for a deal

You hesitate at first but agree.. Surely it won't be too bad if he wins.. 

You take his hand in yours and shake. And begin the game: moving the first pawn on the checked board.

… 

“Checkmate love~” hongjoong says as his queen corners your king.. No place you move will save him, you sigh.

“I win” he says quietly, taking your king piece and laying it on its side. 

You peer up at him through your lashes. 

“Okay.. what do you want me to do”

He seems to be in thought for a moment before looking directly at you.

“I'll keep it for another time” he says cheekily 

You look at him, pout on your face “when?” you ask

“Ah ah.. Believe me.. You’ll know when I use it” he says tutting. 

And you’re left wondering what it'll be he’ll ask you to do for him

… 

5 days. 5 days is how long it takes for you to arrive at the island located on the map. 

In those 5 days you found yourself getting closer to hongjoong, of all people.

 his sweet words and actions worming their way into your heart. From the way he tucks loose strands of your hair behind your ear when it's windy on deck, to his subtle glances watching you. Even purposely letting you win at your chess games!! You’ve been getting very close to one another. And now was one of those times, 

Hongjoong sits sort of spread on a chaise and you rest on his chest. Him with a book in hand as you both quietly read it together in silence. Just enjoying eachothers company.

The silence is disturbed by seonghwa knocking and flinging the door open. You sit up from your spot on hongjoong. Startled by seonghwa’s intrusion. 

Hongjoong bookmarks the spot in the book and closes it over then looking at seonghwa with an annoyed expression on his face

“What is it Hwa?” he asks the elder glaring at him for interrupting your time.

“Apologies captain but, we've finally arrived” he replies to him sort of bowing his head in respect. 

 Hongjoong is quick to stand, you see him shake slightly.

“Then let us go” he says to the elder taking your hand in his as the three of you leave the room.

.. 

Walking on the main deck of the ship everyone is in a rush grabbing what they need to start the journey on the island. You can't help but worry.. 

Hongjoong still holding your hand notices this, rubbing his thumb gently over your hand 

“Don’t worry love.. We’ll get the cromer and send them back to their universe don’t you worry. After all they will come to us soon.” he says and you’ll be honest it does nothing to ease your worries especially as he told you they’ll be coming here.. After what their yunho did to you.. You can't even look at your yunho the same..

Still though you smile up at the red haired man and nod your head.

“Okay! Everyone pack your travel packs. We'll be going into an intricate cave dungeon system so make sure you pack rations, a blanket and pillow at least. The last thing we need is people getting lost down there and dying” hongjoong announces to the crew. 

He hands you your own pack. “‘Ere you can use this one love,” he says.

Everyone swings their packs onto their backs and with hongjoong in the front you all exit the ship. Completely unaware of the other ship on the other side of the island. 

…

Walking through the dense jungle is sweltering with the heat slowly seeping through the trees, some of the crew complaining about stopping and setting up camp here all to which hongjoong bats back that you won't stop till you reach the cave system.

You would say it takes roughly another 4-ish hours of walking with the crew complaining before hongjoong gives in and lets them set up a camp while the 9 of you continue to the caves.

As you continue to walk through the forest the silence is broke 

A loud ‘ewwww’ breaks the silence, you all turn towards the culprit. 

Wooyoung stands wiping slime…?? Off his shoulder..?? 

Slowly you all look up.. The sight is frightening. A humongous arachnid hangs from its web just above you.

Hongjoong is quick to grab you and push you behind him. Every male pulling out his sword or pistol. 

The arachnid lowers itself to the ground hissing at you, pincers snapping.

Hongjoong pushes you to a bush and tells you to stay low and rushes to join the others currently swinging blades and the occasional blast of a pistol. 

The beast hisses as it gets winded. Its blood seeping out in sludges to the ground. It lunges towards a few of them scratching some of them

Its legs are soon cut off and then a cutlass goes straight through its cephalothorax killing the beast as it sighs out its last breath.

 Each male pants trying to catch his breath. And hongjoong instantly comes over to you, giving you a once over to make sure you're really okay. To which you immediately say that you are.

“I am joong.. Honestly just a bit scared that there's creatures like that on this island” you explain to him

He instantly pulls you into his arms.

“Don't worry love.. No matter the creature, if you're in danger I will always be there to save you. I'll never let you get hurt”

Pulling away from you he turns to the other seven males.

“Okay. let's get a move on, we need to reach the cave before dark” he exclaims.

…

The walk to the cave is steep and exhausting, you all audibly gasp sighs of relief once the cave entrance comes into view. 

Lighting lanterns you all prepare to enter hongjoong says one last thing.

“Remember, we stick together.. We don't know exactly what's down here.. Possibly more arachnids.. But we find a spot to hunker down that's safe to get some rest before searching for the cromer” he says and with that you all start your journey into the cave system.

.. 

The cave is thankfully cool but the channels travel long.. Some ending randomly, some have deep drops. Thankfully you or hongjoong has a map of the exact route to the cromer location.

You arrive at a wider area with running water off to the side after scouting around. The place is deemed safe enough to rest in, the water checked and also approved to be safe for drinking by san.

There are a few tunnels that end abruptly along the wall so you bunker into those and use them to sleep. 

There's a small fire made to heat up some soup for supper. 

Once it's been heated you all sit and eat in silence only it's not an uncomfortable silence it's sort of comforting. 

Bowls empty and bellies fed some retreat to their spots to try and relax and some going to rest and sleep, there's light murmurs of conversations as some discuss things with each other and jongho’s the first to take watch.. Just in case..

You watch as hongjoong speaks with him.  The younger nodding to whatever the captain had told him. 

Hes when walking towards you, you quickly turn your head as if you hadn't just been watching their conversation.

Hongjoong laughs and extends his hand towards you.

“Come.. I wanna show you something love..” he says and you take his hand. 

He pulls you up to stand and still with your hand in his grasp begins walking away from the little make-shift base 

“Should we really be leaving?” you ask him in a worried tone..

“Don’t worry.. I told jongho.. We’ll be fine besides I told you, I won't let anything bad happen to you” he smiles.

He leads you further into the system of the cave deeper into the tunnels and farther away from the others., that is until you come to a deadend the roof at a slant getting lower to the ground as it goes farther. ? 

He lets go of your hand and what looks to be a deadend isn't. He jumps and pulls himself up the hole in the ceiling and extends his hands down for you 

“Come on love” he says and you take his hands and he uses his strength to pull you up.

Coming through the hole you're greeted by a stunning sight, glittering amethysts and other precious stones litter the walls of this hidden room. Walking farther into the room you admire the pretty gems 

You gasp in awe “do you like it?” he asks his voice quiet from the distance between you

“H-hongjoong this is- this.. Wow.. it's so pretty” you say walking farther.

“Hmm, I'm glad,” he says. You jump startled from how close the voice is.

Turning around you see him standing right behind you now.

You stumble backwards slightly and he gently grabs your wrist to prevent you from falling.  

He walks you back until you hit one of the patches of smooth stone in the room. He's close.. Maybe a little too close.

You place your hands on his shoulders as if to keep him there. Only it does nothing as he leans in resting his forehead on your own.

“Not as pretty as you though” he whispers 

Your breath gets stuck in your throat as it hitches

“Joong..” you breathe out just as quietly.

“y/n..” he does just the same, closing his eyes as if to savour the moment. 

His hands now rest on your hips, he pulls away from your forehead slightly

“Kiss me” he breathes out and before you can respond, his lips are on your own as he traps you. Your hands slip from in front of his shoulders to wrap around his neck as you kiss the redhead back, an action that has him pulling you closer to him. 

“y/n..” “my love..” “my precious..” he says between kisses and when he finally stops you’re both breathless. 

“This.. isn't what i wanted to show.. You” he breathes out. 

Your face scrunches up in confusion.. It's so cute that it has him kissing your nose.

“Come..” he says, presenting you his hand again. And of course you take it.

And again you're off through the opening in that room you enter a wide open space on the other side.. Water flows around and a large tree graces the other side, stepping stones lead to the area of grass the tree rests on, vines hang from the ceiling, fruits hang from the branches. The opening in the roof lets the natural moonlight inside.

Hongjoong smiles seeing your face light up again at the sight.

He gently pulls you across the stones and you make your way to the tree on the other side

You look around the area once at the other side and take in the view.

“Hongjoong this is stunning.. Thank you for bringing me here to see this” you thank him

Arms wrap around your waist and a weight is placed on your shoulder as he rests his chin there.

“I'm glad you like them my love” he hums a kiss placed on the side of your neck. It has a shiver running up your spine. 

He turns you in his hold, arms still around you.. 

“y/n.. Precious. I love you” he says 

Your heart feels to have stopped.

You open your mouth to speak.

He shakes his head.

“You don’t need to say anything right now.. Just.. will you let me prove how much i love you. precious?” he says. 

Looking in his eyes you can see the determination and honesty swirling in them, so placing a kiss on his lips whilst cupping his cheeks 

“Yes.. please joong..” you whisper against his lips

Pulling you close he places more soft kisses on your lips trailing them to your neck.

“May i..?” he whispers tugging slightly at your shirt, you nod

He slowly begins to unbutton the buttons of your shirt in between kisses and then slips your shirt off the material falling to the ground. 

He trails the kisses down to your collarbone. As you try to discard his own shirt. 

Scars litter his chest, your hands ghost over them. 

He pulls you down to rest on the blanket spread on the grass. He kneels before you, hands reaching for and tugging off your boots. Before kicking off his own. His hands slither up your thighs as he places desperate kisses on your neck and down your chest. As he pushes you to lay down

His hands hook beneath the waistband of your trousers, trailing kisses further down your body as he slowly pulls them off..

“So pretty love..” he whispers, admiring you then leaning over to place another soft kiss on your lips. Your hands reach to tug him back

“So are you..” you lift your head to place a similar kiss on his own lips, which has him smiling. 

“Thank you love.. But nothing can compare to how pretty you are” he says, sliding between your thighs. 

“I love you so, so much love” he whispers again tears brim his eyes as they fall over and run down his cheeks.. Clear tears this time.. 

… 

Your eyes gently flicker open.. The moon still shines in the opening above as you in the opening. Your head rests on the softness of hongjoong’s chest, you can hear the soft thumping of his heart beneath the surface. Ever so gently you sit up so not to disturb the man, you look over his face.. He looks so peaceful as he sleeps. You place your hand on his cheek and gently run your thumb over his scar with a soft smile on your face, eyes closing over slightly. Sighing in content, you look back at him, you cannot help the small gasp that escapes as you move away from the sleeping redhead.. 

The faint red line of his scar.. smudged looking to your thumb you see the same red slightly staining the skin.. This hongjoong.. Has no scar.. Surely he’s not been lying about having a scar after all this time.. No.. he couldn’t even the last time he cried he cried..b-blood.. This hongjoong didn't.

Your heart begins to beat erratically in your chest. You feel as though any second you could pass out. You stand to your feet grabbing the extra blanket and holding it close to your naked form and if to solidify and mock your mistake and realisation.. Said man tosses on his side in his sleep and there, clear as day on his shoulder blade.. ‘HALA’ permanently resides there in black ink.

You stumble back at the realisation the room spins, your legs give way and you brace yourself expecting to hit the ground.. 

Only.. you don't. You fall into something soft. 

“oh.. darlin’..” a voice quietly whispers out.

[reimenaashelyee]

The World in Deeper Inspection UPDATE Read: (Chapter 1: Pages 57 to 68) (COMPLETED)

About the comic

Grimsley confronts the man who set him on this goose chase.

And with that… that’s the end of the 10th Anniversary revamp!! Can’t believe it took me almost a year to get this short project done, but blame my school and day job for that! *drives the nail into the TWIDI IS NOT DEAD sign deeper into the wall*

It was enlightening to reinterpret my first ever completed comic (more complete than the strips and unfinished or one-off shorts I had done prior) – basically the one that started me down the road to a career as a published author. I was happy to see how much my style had improved – not just in the layout, flow and pacing – but in how my characters have become more expressive and energetic, and how comfortable I am with the cartooning. Here is the proof that drawing comics helps you get better at comics!! It only took 10 / 11 years!

Plus, after a long while of drawing with a more reserved, professional approach (see: Seance Tea Party, Alexander Comic), I enjoyed the abandon and whimsy of TWIDI. The lettering is inconsistent all over but that only adds to the handmade whimsical charm of TWIDI, so lol.

Anyway – I have the 10th Anniversary ebook edition up on my Ko-fi and itch.io! This edition carries both the original and revamped versions of Chapter 1. No new cover or illustration for it this time; I think they are perfect as they are.

I have been meaning to make a continuation of the end of TCM that bridges the start of Chapter 1. It’s a long time coming: a story that had somewhat existed since the early days of TWIDI in 2010. Hopefully I will find that stability in my life to return.

Open the cut below to see my notes.

There’s also nothing exciting here, EXCEPT I severely cut down on the number of panels (and the verbiage).

As with the previous spread I cut down and distilled a lot of the verbiage. I shifted the dialogue slightly so that the reveal that Mr. Brown is a Lord comes from Grimsley (in 2013, Mr Brown never admitted he was an aristrocrat until this page) – it made more sense since Grimsley had gotten the info independently from the newspaper article and Andrew, and Mr Brown not mentioning it himself fits with his whole lying thing. For this spread and the next couple of them I am zooming out the panels to include more scenery. The 2013 layouts felt very claustrophobic, with the over-reliance on bust shots of the characters to carry the tension of the conversation.

Some more dialogue trimming and background scenery. I decided to change the setting for the chase sequence to be within the cemetery – just ’cause it makes more sense than if it was done all around Brookham. The panelling for it is a bit more dynamic too – look, Grimsley is parkouring!!

I have no idea why 10 (actually, 11) years ago I had so much trouble conveying and pacing this sequence of Mr Brown being set on fire. That’s the hindsight of experience, I guess??? Anyway I added a few more panels for actual build-up, and the blocking is way better now – there’s more energy (especially Skeleton’s expressions) and clarity (omg we can finally see where and what’s happening to the lamp). The last panel is a new addition to better connect with the next spread. Also… I am excited to see how much further I can draw Mr. Brown’s demise.

Man, the difference some changes in pacing can make. I added some panels with witnesses to the fire, just to emphasise why Grimsley and Skeleton have got to run. It’s crazy enough if a Brookie has got to witness immolation in the middle of the Night, but two paranatural spookies??? Also human fat has such a colour hdsjkfhsdkf the things that come out of an immolated body are so eerie….

The 2013 spread is almost perfect. 18 Year Old Me got it.

[rottingpirate]

your list of rules is minimal and honestly a bit pitiful /lh

SOAP HARD SEX TOP READER, i don't know what your limits are so maybe hair pulling

godspeed soldier

I'll do a part 2 cuz my brain stopped working halfway. So pleaseee bear with me on this one 😭

I also updated my rules list. Are you proud of me now?

Filth || John "Soap" MacTavish x M!reader

Warnings: deep throating, boot humping, some praise, come swallowing, kissing, semi-public??

Grinning up at you, Soap’s eyes showed nothing but innocence as his hands slid up and down your leg, reaching where the zipper of your pants was. Licking his lips, Soaps gaze moved from your eyes to your very apparent bulge.

Your hips involuntarily jerked into his touch; intoxicated by that look the brunette gave you. He swallowed thickly, arousal settling in his stomach as he placed his hand on your lower abdomen.

"Fuck- Soap," you warned. "We are still on a mission, we shouldn't..."

"Oh relax, there's no one here, we’ll be fine." He continued to massage you through your pants, how he felt you get hard despite the protests.

You look nervously over your shoulder, not comforted by the empty room.

"Re'ax, big boy. Just wanna suck you off."

"I am relaxed. But forgive me for not wanting Price to bust our asses doing this shit."

Soap hums, pouting slightly. "Backing out now, Y/N? Scared we’ll get caught ."

"Well, fuck it, it's your plan anyway." You spoke, trailing kisses down his neck, biting down, sucking a bruising mark. Soap hisses in slight pain.

Sliding his hand higher up your thigh, fabric bunching under his fingers as he squeezes gently, feeling smug when your breath stutters. He digs his fingers a little harder into your leg and is rewarded with a low groan and twitch of your hips into the touch.

Finally Soap sinks to his knees, the cold concrete floor almost made him regret his decisions. You kept a hand on the back of his head as the brunette loosened your belt, unzipped the fly, and pulled the pants down.

He didn't put it in his mouth at first, preferring a handjob from the base to the head, slowly, while biting his lip, looking you in the eyes.

A small moan couldn't be contained, the sound making Soap to increase the speed.

Biting your lip to suppress further moans as Soap was taking his sweet time, giving small licks to the head.

“You tease,” You groaned. "Well get to it then."

Soap all too eagerly obliged. Wrapping his lips around the head of the cock and sitting there for a bit before slowly taking more of you into his mouth. The weight of the cock on his tongue sends heat surging through him, and he bobs up and down at a slow enough pace to savor every moment. He circles the tip with his tongue before licking the cock down to the base and back to the tip.

The room was dark and filthy, worn and covered in a plethora of scratches, dust, blood and soil, it was such an uncomfortable position that the man found himself in. In the middle of a mission no less.

 A deep grunt left your throat as your gloved hand laced itself through the Scots hair, giving it a forceful tug back, bringing his attention to your face, his cheeks pink and chest heaving like he was fresh from training, it was a beautiful sight indeed. Pulling him by the hair again you pulled him off from your cock, leaving a trickle of saliva that fell down his chin, lifting him off the floor.

“Be careful with your drooling, you’ll get it on my boots.” You scoffed, brows knitting together as you scowled at the man.

“Oh but you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He sneered, letting his free hand stroke down your thigh, feeling as the skin twitched under his thumb. “C'mon Y/N, you'd like it. Me licking your boots with nothing but ma tongue 'n spit. You’re just filthy enough to get off on it.”  He shot back, voice breathless and not coming out the way he wanted it to. Without a moment's notice he pressed his lips harshly against yours. Lips crashing together messily as Soap moaned softly, biting on your bottom lip only to feel a hand roughly snatch his jaw holding him still as you backed up.

You honestly didn't expect him to listen, but in a split second, Soap's knees hit the ground with a loud thud, no snarky remarks.

"You have two choices. Finish what you started and we both leave satisfied, or we both get left high and dry."

Cheeky little bastard.

Your eyes soften and look at him more attentively. His head is down, but you can almost feel a smile on his face. He’s proud of himself.

Grabbing his face, fingers digging into his cheeks. A surprised gasp is the only reaction you get, Soap’s eyes half-lidded as he stares back, mouth parted slightly. God, he’s pretty. You knew it before, but there is nothing quite as beautiful as a man who’s begging for it.

A low whimper escapes you, feeling Soaps thumb on the slit of your cock, spreading the pre-come on the head.

"You-" you're cut off as Soap leans in and takes your cock into his mouth again, hands coming up to brace themselves againt your hips as he tries to relax his throat, focusing on his own pleasure as he grinded harder against the vamp of your boot.

You buck your hips forward. He gags, as some spit and pre-come falls from his lips, coating his chin even further and landing on the floor.

Soap's throat spasmed; he choked, and drew in an audible breath through his nose. Yet he fought through it, kept his hands on your hips and did his best to keep his throat relaxed, keeping your cock in deep. His eyes were closed, his face and neck red as he concentrated on doing this, on doing this for you.

"Fuck, careful. Don't hurt yourself now."

He pulls back. "Sorry" His voice is wrecked, deeper than usual and scratchy with use. His face cannot get redder as he stares up at you, glancing to your cock and back at your face.

He does all he can to make it good for you, hollowing his cheeks and picking up the pace. He wants, more than anything to make it everything that you deserve.

He’s rewarded with the soft sound of your moans, with the way your fingers curl in his hair, tense.

“I guess you were right, I am filthy enough to get off on this, fuck you’re amazing.” You murmured, leaning back against the cold wall. “Though if we don’t want to get caught, I suggest you pick up your pace.” A smug grin on your face as you buried a hand into Soap’s mohawk, taking hold of his locks to hold his head steady, pushing your hips farther so that his nose was pressed into your pubic hair . The man below choked, glaring up at you, gripping your hips harder. 

“ 'm sorry.” You told him, a tone of sincerity in your voice as you shifted your hips back and thrusted back into his mouth, listening to him moan and gag while still grinding on the boot.

You let out a moan as you fucked the man’s throat, pulling his head closer. At this point you could care less about time or the fact anyone could wander into the room to come find you two, if it's an enemy you could easily pull out your 9mm and shoot their brains out. Right now, your brain zoned in on Soap’s swollen lips dragging along with each thrust and the gentle swallow of his throat that felt just right.

You hoped that the man could feel your appreciation. He looked so breathtaking. Maybe you would never see such a scene again, or any for that matter.

Soap moved his left hand down your thigh, easing it between his own legs to get himself off, abandoning your boot.

Your lidded eyes moving to gaze at Soap, your breath slightly hitching at the sight. He looked so pretty, dark lashes wet, tears staining his flushed cheeks as drool made his lips and chin shine like wet grass in the morning sun. His hair was tousled from you grabbing it, it was enough to send you over the edge. 

You found your fingers digging even deeper into Soap’s mohawk and tugged just as you thrusted forward into the warm, wet heat of Soap’s mouth. Feeling slightly guilty as the man choked. 

“Always so goddamn good for me, aren’t you?” You whispered, the praise making him moan out around your cock, the vibrations sending a shiver up your spine. You almost hated to admit that you were already getting close, so fucking close.

Sex god or not, Soap’s jaw is starting to ache as well, and so it’s a relief when your words drop off towards incoherence.

"Holy shit" You half whine. “'m close—“ The reply you get is another strangled moan. You tugged at his hair one last time. Hard enough for his vision to fray at the edges. 

A thrust and a half later, you came, thick spurts across Soap's tongue, and he swallows as neatly as he can, his right hand now on the back of your thigh, so he feels every movement, every shift of your hips, every tremble.

"Goddamn," breathing softly, your fingers going loose in his hair and he can’t help but whimper, cock still in Soap's mouth. "Wasn't expecting you to actually fucking swallow it."

He sits back, lets your cock slip free and wipes the corner of his mouth with the pad of his thumb. The brunette's throat was bruised. He was on his knees, gasping for breath and red in the face. His scalp still burns even after your hand left, but at least it's not getting worse.

You helped him up and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. A gloved hand cupping his face, and he kissed you back. His lips were soft and his thumb stroked your jaw. He pulled away and whispered your name. You threaded your hands through his hair, gently this time and your lips met once again, this time more passionate than before. 

"Let's continue this once we get back, kay?"

[noxiatoxia]

The SDR2 artbook, where we get a look at beta interfaces, uses a Makoto beta sprite. This is noteworthy because we basically have 0 beta sprites for DR1.

It's a full bust-up version of the beta sprite seen in the DR1 PSP screen:

(I talk about this more here)

for comparison, this screen was updated for the １・２ Reload Vita release, and thusly all English releases. (therefore this beta would only be seen by Japanese players on the original PSP version)

The easiest way to tell is Makoto's right bang. On the beta sprite, you can see the whites of his eyes to the left. But on the final sprite, his bang is bigger, covering his eye more.

Despite the bad quality, we can see the whites on Makoto's eye on this scan. This is likely the same beta used in the DR1 PSP startup screen.

Also if you're curious about the text, all three images show the textbox as being ヒナタ ハジメ speaking (Hinata Hajime). The text itself is just the vowels あいうえお or a i u e o.

Curious to note that the background in these screenshots does not appear in the final game. It may have been an early version of the beach or Jabberwock park. Or, it was a mock-up never intended to be used as a final background at all.

[vanguard-if]

dev log - april 28 2024

good evening...everyone.....here to report that this guy IS DONE THEIR FINALS AND IS BACK HOME. meaning i will be working on Vanguard much more frequently <33 it was a crazy year for me, and i am so glad to be back home man wow i don't know if it's legal to have five finals but who knows. i've had lots of ideas for what i want to accomplish this summer, so i thought i'd just give a general update on where i'm at/what's really going on since Vanguard has been sitting woefully in the corner of Twine for like four months (mostly) untouched.

IN PROGRESS - hope to complete by the end of summer latest

character voice claims / head canons! think i've mentioned this briefly (maybe), but i've been slowly compiling voices i think fit the VG bunch. i still have Charles, Vio, and Kiera to go, and i need to find a better voice for Vera. but. stay tuned.

reworking the entirety of the game formatting. this includes fixing font colours to be more readable, revamping the character creation, and solving the mystery of why on EARTH the sidebar covers the screen on mobile.

CHAPTER ONE!!!!! and complete the MC's profile in game

completing character profiles on the blog

FUTURE PLANS - not sure when these will be done/IF they'll be done

drawing up "official" portraits for the VG bunch to add to the itch.io page. would all be consistent busts most likely.

okay wow sorry thought i'd have more ideas i think my IQ has dropped by maybe 10 points. will update if i remember anything more

also just drawing more in general lolz... there has been a severe lack of Nia and Kiera content and that is NOT good!!

hm yes i think this is it for Vanguard. for now. reminder that i also have another account @jayeyeee where i *will* post about my other OCs since i have about ten billion. i also have a tiktok, instagram, and twitter under the same handle if you feel like stalking.

goodnight everyone. thanks soooo so so much for following me, even after my pause on the game :] bye for now love u guys

[episims]

Over time, I've gotten some questions about how my Biotech Station mod differs from simler90's. To make answering easier in the future, I finally attempted to write all the changes down.

But a disclaimer that it's been two years since I worked with that mod, so I'm very likely forgetting something.

Sims can't catch the mysterious disease from making medicine with my version

I added the practice interaction

I added the interactions for making medicine/virus in bulk

I made it so that the medicine/virus made on a business lot goes into the business owner's inventory

I made failed attempts to add an empty bottle to the inventory (as a junk penalty, similar to what fishing produces)

I stopped children from being able to make medicine on their own

I lowered the skilling speed of the object

I added the missing object anim to making medicine

I changed the vial to a medicine bottle and made it sit on the ground level (after animations too)

I greatly lowered the relationship requirement for giving medicine, as I wanted to have it possible for a doctor to give it to a patient after a few successful interactions (simler90 has the requirement as 50 STR, I have it as 10 STR)

I made the requirements for successfully giving virus more straightforward by removing the logic & charisma skill check that simler90 has included and raised the LTR requirement instead

I turned giving virus always causing a relationship hit (simler90 has it giving a boost when accepted)

I stopped it from being possible to give virus to children

With simler90's version, sims might get busted by the police if they make virus. I wanted it to be possible to have a setting where viruses are legally made for research purposes, so I removed that

I made it impossible to sell viruses in OFB businesses as that should be illegal, but I allowed selling them for profit in buy mode so that sims can still get money from 'researching' them (simler90 has virus priced at §0)

In update 3 of their mod simler90 made it so that if giving medicine/virus is refused, the medicine/virus gets moved into the giver's inventory, even though it's not usable from the inventory. I changed it back so that the giver will find a surface to place the bottle back onto, so that it can be given again without first replacing it from the inventory

I changed the original Eaxis formula (which simler90 uses) for making medicine/virus: originally, it had the sim's niceness points as one factor for determining how potent the outcome will be. It didn't make much sense to me, so I took that away. During testing, we also noticed that the sim's logic skill level only had a small impact so I made that weight more instead

I completely rewrote how medicine works: instead of always lowering disease severity, my medicine is capable of insta-curing certain diseases, depending on how potent the medicine is. This required a lot of new code as simler90's version doesn't have a cure code of its own but relies on the game's general disease progressing code (and for that reason there's always a delay before the sim gets cured with simler90's version)

I added pop-up messages showing if the sim got cured or not

I also completely rewrote how virus works: simler90 has it so that the disease virus gives is always the mysterious disease (=a disease of which symptoms and other qualities have been randomized). I made the less potent virus to give either food poisoning, a cold, or the flu instead, and only the potent version to infect the mysterious disease

simler90 has relationship checks for giving medicine/virus interaction to even appear, and an additional mood check for the sim to be able to take virus themselves. I removed all of that

And probably more, but I think that covers most of it.

[lotusthekat]

[IDs: 1) A reference sheet of sorts for a possessed Gus Porter. Here only his blue eyes and green parts are colored. From left to right, there are three drawings focusing mainly on Gus' head/bust. We see his profile and then him smirking at the viewer/camera. Besides the two melting horns, there's a bigger scar covering the left part of his face, mirroring Belos' scar, and a smaller one on his right cheek, as a nod to Hunter's. He also wears the illusion amplifier, which he uses to manipulate Hunter and the others. Below the two head sketches is a distraught Gus trying to battle for control, yelling at the others to run away. His right eye is normal while the left is entirely blue. Finally, on the far right is Possessed Gus in his entirety. Notably his hair is slightly longer and his hands are green and big. He's wearing the Cosmic Frontier costume seen in Thanks to Them, without his headphones.

2) The aftermath to the possession, in which Hunter goes to check up on Gus, who cries and says, "I've known this whole time... I'm so sorry, Hunter". The work is slightly darkened, emphasizing Gus' tears. /End ID]

Made a quick ref sheet for this AU, if we could call it that + a little extra angst :)

I have a fic for this, actually! It hasn't been updated in a while, but I still plan on continuing it!

DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION!

Don't tag as ship. P/roship DNI.

[elendsessor]

no fusion run mini update

the demifiend’s ex girlfriend gets beaten up by a trans archangel, woman with nails so long it’s scary, and monke, more details at 7.

had to put some skill points into vitality because i was kinda getting nearly murdered in the sea of random encounters before getting to baal.

now with chiaki dead, i’m actually doing a bit of a revision to my team because of how luci’s fight works. going to have to use raidou as my second damage dealer no matter what because the only demons of mine that have focus aren’t going to do well, he’s the only one with pierce, pierce can’t be mutated into, the only way i can get pierce on everyone else even through fusion is via metatron, etc. luci is one big dps check because he can, at any given point, bust out diarahan, something the people who got dante from the devil may cry series never get to worry about. whatever sadist at atlus decided to give the hardest boss in the game a full heal better have gotten a raise because they’ve probably crushed many dreams.

but i also need a better healer. i love titania but i can’t get her to null ailments and she’s very squishy. the only demon i can recruit that can null ailments, has no weakness to the elemental attacks luci has, and have set up in the compendium to mutate a couple skills to get better ones… is suparna.

yeah the bird with the stupidly annoying death cry? actually op if you put in the time and effort.

there’s a couple problems though.

first, they’re insanely underleveled right now. no real issue because merciful’s exp wield can cut down grinding time but it’s still grinding time. i have a ton of unused incenses sitting in my inventory so i can boost some of the stats quicker, plus the chance for incenses to be gifts are amazing.

second, the unchangeable stuff. stone hunt is a garbage skill outside of low level runs and garuda gets generally better skills. wind cutter is the best wind element skill that isn’t tornado, plus he gets endure at level 67—a skill my team is lacking. there’s also an unused skill slot they have just sitting there. taunting me.

the goal is to have bufula change to dekaja and diarahan to mutate into megidola before chaining into prayer. the dekaja is so i can set up provoke without luci getting the attack buff and just in case of emergencies to begin with, and prayer because luci loves status ailments.

not sure about keeping zandyne or what i would even aim for. suparna is going to be a fully support-based demon, so i technically don’t need an attacking move, and i can’t get rid of mazandyne which is a good alternative. i’m considering debilitate but i already have debuffing moves across the entire team that cover the bases so having fog breath + debilitate feels repetitive. then again, i haven’t used any of those skills outside of provoke in ages, mainly because provoke recovers mp, and i could be out-dekunda’d. mana surge is the other option since prayer costs a ton of mp, with each time used to recover it being one less bit of damage. it definitely could be remedied with a maxed out magic stat though. still torn, but i’m likely going to go the debilitate route if i decide i absolutely have to.

of course i’m gonna be training up the rest of the team too. need some emergency switch-ins and a good group to knock out kagutsuchi first and foremost since luci is a back to back fight. gay snake and uber pixie are the primary revivers and are tanks at heart. don’t know how that’ll work for everyone else. lilith has life drain so if i have to go the stall route she can take some hits.

because of the lack of pierce, i do need to max out strength and vitality on the boyfriends asap.

decided in the meantime to go for a personal goal in the upcoming grinding session: try and fully master as many magatama as possible. yippee.

at least this is the final push before i’m free from playing megaten games until smt 5 vengeance where i’ll probably get beaten to death by something.

[vixensofsorrow]

Demolition Lovers - Ⅲ how can you say I go about things the wrong way?

DISCLAIMER: This fic is a long slowburn with multiple chapters, still being updated. also on AO3 my masterlist (all the chapters are linked there) PAIRING: young!Carol Denning/fem!reader OVERALL SUMMARY: An exploration of your and Carol's relationship through the years. CHAPTER SUMMARY: Things get out of hand at a house party. CHAPTER TAGS: party, angst, argument, jealousy, little bit of fluff, complicated feelings, developing relationship, underage drinking, CW: vomiting A/N: sorry for the delay but I lost my glasses and had to buy new ones </3 also with the easter break ill probably drop the next chapter sooner than this one

You banged on the door of Dana’s room. You wore a weird assortment of clothing you tried out in an attempt to come up with something to dress in for the party, and so far it was nothing good. “Dana!” You yelled out. “I know you’re in here!” You could hear some shuffling and chatter, and Dana finally stumbled to open the door, dressed even more unusually than you were: an oversized t-shirt, cheetah-print sweatpants with one leg rolled up to her calf, and a tank top around her neck. 

“What do you want?” She panted, leaning against the door, brushing sweat off her face. 

You crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow at her. “You still got some vodka, wine, whatever lying around?” Your sister slowly closed the door, but you caught a glimpse of someone on her bed. Looks like Dana was consummating her not-so-yet marriage. 

“There.” She handed you a bottle of Malibu. “Now scram!” Dana slammed the door in front of your face before you even got the chance to thank her. 

As your pleased self was walking back to your room, you heard the doorbell ring. You scurried downstairs, hiding the liqueur behind your back, and opened the door with an excited smile.

“You’re aware that this...” She tilted her head and gesticulated towards the bottle that was apparently peeking out. “… It’s not doing anything.” Denning pointed out, slightly out of breath.

“Oh, bite me.” You put your arms in front and let Carol inside. You noticed her red nose, slightly blue-tinted hands, and sweaty face as she took off her bag, beanie, and jacket, stuffing the beanie inside one of the sleeves, ready to head to your room.

“Did you walk all the way over here?” You once again glanced at her hands, and she must’ve noticed because she put them inside the pockets of her jeans as you two walked up the stairs.

“Oh yeah. Barbie was playing dress up, folks at Debbie’s practice.” She scoffed. “It’s such bullshit! All she does is twirl ribbons and dance around. How hard can that be?” Carol ranted over the sound of giggling coming from your sister’s room.

“Who knows, maybe the risk of busting your kneecap is as high as in soccer, they just want to keep an eye on her or something.” You poked fun and managed to get a chuckle out of her, and you walked into your room. As you sat on the bed and set the bottle of Malibu down on the floor, Carol still stood in the doorway, taking in the changes that had happened to your bedroom. 

“Damn, this is a whole different room than what I remembered.” She slowly closed the door, sat on a chair, put her legs up on your desk, and dropped her coat and messenger bag on the floor. 

Suddenly, some childhood memories came back to you; the rug you played with dolls on, whom you’d always make kiss each other or cut the hair off of, the stacks of books that were taller than you, or the floral wallpaper covered in paint splatters of various colors. 

“Yeah… uh. Rooms and... and people change.” You furrowed your brows and sighed, picking at a scabbed pimple. Why the fuck did you say that? You swiftly walked over to your closet before you could see Carol’s reaction to your awkwardness, and you started browsing through the clothes again in hopes of finding something that could work. 

“I was just about to ask if you were going to go out in that.” Carol broke the silence and stared you up and down, flashing you a soft smile while she chipped away at blue nail polish.

“Oh, fuck off.” You scoffed playfully and rolled your eyes as you pulled out a maroon dress and turned to Denning, holding it up in front of you as if you were trying it on over your clothes. 

“So, what do you think?” You smoothed out the wrinkles and slightly adjusted the garment. She put her legs down and slightly leaned in on the chair, parting her lips. There was a familiar glimmer in her eyes, the same one she used to give you when she particularly liked something you drew. She muttered something, her face turning a vague shade of the color of your dress.

“I mean, shit.” She chuckled, her eyes darting off for a moment. “It, I mean, you look really good. Just lose the, uh, shit, you know…” Carol gesticulated around your legs and upper body, “…the, the rest.”

“You got it, boss.” You could feel your face warming up as well, laughing through it as you walked out of her sight to get dressed.

Sometimes, during certain late nights, especially the ones in the summertime, with your window open and the smell of cigarettes lingering and mosquitoes flying into the room, you'd lie on the bed, looking up at the ceiling, lost in thought about how Carol looked like and acted, now that the two of you were all grown up.

Surprisingly, so far, she has somewhat met your idealized expectations. But what if it was once again one of those restless nights when she would hijack your mind, and you were just visualizing a day you’d want to experience with her?

In juxtaposition, during those nights, you never thought about the vulnerable side of Denning. Seeing her be all embarrassed and dropping the confident facade just for a moment made you feel slightly uneasy because, after giving it some thought, you were sure that after all this time, this was all actually real. The possibility of her abandoning you without a word again was actually real. This Carol was human, not some rosy fragment of your imagination.

You weren’t dreaming this up, nor was it some twisted trick your mind was playing on you. She was all real, breathing, and she was back here, in West Virginia, with you, in the same room you used to play in, sitting by your desk, looking at the posters on your wall.

Your brooding was interrupted by the bedroom suddenly being shaken by the loud bass of a rock song as you struggled with the zipper of your dress. Carol looked up from the boombox she was fiddling at, slightly turning the volume down.

“You need help with that?” 

“Oh, no, no, I’m good.” You reached behind your back again in an attempt to get a grasp of it, using all the flexibility you had in your arms. Denning raised her eyebrows and sucked in air through gritted teeth, still looking at you.

“Yeah, right. I don’t think you are.” She insisted, and you admitted defeat. Her firm hands swiftly brushed against your bare back. The sensation of her now warm palms sent a slight chill down your spine, right as she zipped up your dress and the cold metal hit your shoulders. 

“Thanks.” You turned to face her, twiddling at the clothing.

“No problem, I couldn’t stand looking at you twisting your arms like you were being exorcised or somethin’.” She joked and rubbed the back of her neck, cheeks faintly flushed. 

It was around quarter to nine PM by now, and the both of you were ready to go. Carol’s slightly too big, dark denim straight-leg jeans were tied with a brown leather belt around her hips, the blue flannel that reached her midriff complimented the black turtleneck. On her feet, she wore dirty combat boots, and of course, the large glasses that hid the eye makeup she spent the last 20 minutes on. 

“I’m gonna go ask Dana if she’s gonna give us a ride real quick.” You messily threw on layers of necklaces. Carol murmured an “Alright” while adding final tweaks to her hairstyle, and you scurried to your sister’s room.

Whatever noises came out of her bedroom an hour ago have calmed down. All you could make out now was Fleetwood Mac and Dana speaking with some guy. You knocked on her door once again, wondering what attire she was going to surprise you with this time. 

“Yeah?” Well, that was quicker than you expected. Dana was dressed plainly now, in flared jeans and a hoodie. That’s a shame. You slightly peeked into her room, trying to get a look at the man in her bedroom. You managed to catch a glance of a thin man with medium-length blonde hair, and you were sure that this was the infamous Jeff. You turned your attention back to Dana before she could realize what you were doing. 

“Can you give me and a friend a ride to this one party?” You bit your lip and made eye contact with her.

“Jesus fucking Christ, get your license alr-“

You interrupted her. “I’m not even 16 yet, dumbass.”

“Let me complain, jeez!” She rolled her eyes. “I’ll give you a ride, but I’m not doing this for you, you know. I have to drop Jeff off anyway, so. ”Dana shouted at her fiancée to get dressed. “Be downstairs in 10 minutes.” She shut the door, and you went back to your bedroom, told Carol to hurry up, stuffing the Malibu bottle in your bag.

The car ride was slightly awkward, to say the least. You could tell that Dana wasn’t in the best mood, and her fiancée kept on talking her ear off. She attempted to make small talk, mostly with Carol, which then also made her grumpy since she was asking many questions, mostly about Barb. The two of you exchanged exasperated looks, and you mouthed, “I'm sorry.” Carol shrugged, probably expecting to be bombarded with questions, especially the ones regarding her more liked sister. 

As time passed, Dana could tell that the younger Denning didn’t really want to engage in conversation anymore and let it go. Whenever the run-down car hit a speed bump, the radio would stop playing for a moment, leaving everyone in uncomfortable silence, only broken by Jeff bothering his soon-to-be wife.

After what seemed like ages, you finally arrived at Nicole’s place. The mid-century modern two-story house surrounded by the woods, along with a few cars of your classmates in the driveway, served as the only source of light in a wide radius. As the both of you walked towards the front door, you could already smell the sweat, alcohol, weed, and cheap perfume of teenage depravity. 

“Thank god your sister knows when to shut up, I swear if I had to hear another “Oh, and what about Barb?” I’d explode right here and there.” Carol spoke up amongst the loud gossip and even louder music, squeezing through the crowded hallway.

“Oh yeah, that’s one of her better traits. Not like she has many, though.” You snickered, making your way to the kitchen.

People were crashing into each other, which often almost led to drunk bickering. You looked over to the dimly lit living room, so crowded that even a short glance made you feel suffocated. It was even harder to imagine dancing in there, but a lot of your peers were doing so to Girls on Film. You liked that song, whoever picked it had good taste, although the main theme of the party was definitely the hyped-up shouting. The fireplace shelf overflowed with alcohol of a higher quality; next to the bottles was a clearly staged photo of Nicole’s family and a flower vase, all of which will most likely be gone, or at least shattered, by the time it’s morning. Couples stuck tongues down each other's throats, spilling drinks out of red plastic cups, too distracted with making out to notice, and if it was someone squeamish the booze landed on, a squeak of disgust was guaranteed. Now, it was just a game of time to see the first fistfight, sex, vomit accident, or gag on a keg.

Overall, the definition of chaos.

“Come on, we need to get wasted for this, L/N.” Carol suddenly yanked your hand, and when finally in the slightly more peaceful kitchen covered in colorful string lights, you leaned against the counter full of snacks, sodas, and booze and pulled out the liqueur, taking a few swigs. You handed the bottle to Denning, who winced as the warm alcohol burned her throat.

“So, would I be correct if I said you’re more of a weed person?” You laughed, taking back the Malibu and drinking some more.

“Shit, you got me.” She sat on the counter next to you, reaching for the bottle.

“Man, where the fuck is everybody?” You raised your head, observing the lively crowd in the hallway.

“In the living room, probably.” She handed you the liqueur again, turning to face you.

“No, like, I mean Veronica or Jennifer, or someone from the team.” Your eyes squinted.

“Whatever, fuck ‘em.” A drunken blush slowly appeared on her face. “You know, we can have fun without them.” She spoke up, just as a plate shattered on the kitchen floor. 

“Totaally.” You walked over to the stack of plastic cups, avoiding the fine china pieces on the floor, and poured the rest of your drink into two cups. “Here, let’s go.” You gave Denning the other one, threw the bottle in the trash, and with your tipsy confidence, left for the living room.

Everything felt more bearable now, and you couldn’t stop grinning. The smoke-filled living room turned a shade of gray. Some girl from your Biology class danced on the coffee table, surrounded by a group of people with all eyes on her. Someone yelled out, Turn that shit up! and got themselves a round of applause in approval. As you and Carol stumbled further into the room, bumping into people now and then between taking sips of the alcohol, a female voice screeched, “Watch where you’re going, cunt!”. Your friend sloppily yelled out “Fuck you, slut!” and threw up a middle finger, reaching her arm around your back, while you cackled to the point of your ribs hurting, getting away from the other girl without a bigger fight. 

The realization of what was playing hit you just now. “Carol, I fucking looove this song!”. You took the last sips from the cup and threw it on the floor somewhere, people already stomping on it. “That guy was right, TURN THAT SHIT UP!” You cheered, the alcohol warming up your body and buzzing your mind. Your singing voice blended in with the sounds of the party, and you held hands with Denning, jumping around and headbanging to the rhythm of the music. Some of the liqueur spilled out of Carol’s cup, and you took a swift break to let her finish the drink, immediately going back to the dancing. 

“I never, ever thought I’d be happy about...” She broke out into laughter, “Moving somewhere, moving back especially, especially back to this shithole!” She blurted, short of breath, over the loud noises.

“You don’t even knooow” You hiccuped. "Don’t even know how, how happy I am that you’re back!” Carol showed off her dimples in response, her droopy eyes briefly making eye contact with yours.

“All that sweet talk, it’s gonna make me-” Before she could finish, a teammate shouted out your name. The two of you stopped dancing and turned your attention to where it was coming from, and you could see Veronica running towards you, trying her best not to fall.

“Engie, I’ve been looking everywhere for your ass!” She handed you a drink.

“I, I’ve been here the whole time, daaancing, and having fun, and dancing.” You took it and slowly moved your body to the rhythm of a new song, glancing at Carol, whose expression turned sour.

“You’re lucky, Jennifer called a meeting or somethi-”

Denning interrupted her. “Engie? What’s, what’s the story behind that?” She looked at the both of you.

“Riiight, okay, so it’s this whole thing, it’s actually quite funny...” Vee took a sip of the alcoholic concoction. “It’s ‘cause Y/Ns position on our team is, uh…”

“Central midfielder.” You swept in, and Veronica nodded her head. Carol snatched your cup, gulped the whole thing down, and chipped at her nail polish, barely any of the blue left anymore.

“Ohhh, yup. And then, uh, central midfielders are called engines or something, I don’t remember why, but uh, well, it’s just this soccer thing, and it just stuck.” Someone gagged, and a girl backed away as she loudly complained, Seriously? On my shoes?!, the crowd next to the blonde humoring her.

“Good to know, Veronica.”

Vee widened her eyes, and her jaw dropped in shock. “Yo, holy shit, we got an, uhh, medium on our hands!” She looked around for others’ reactions, but you drowned her out as Carol leaned in closer. 

“Y/N, I need some fresh air.” She whispered.

“Alllright. Vee, we’ll see you around!” 

“You’re friends with a fucking medium, dude!” Veronica exclaimed, waving, as you and Denning sloppily walked out of the room.

Even though it was cold outside, many of your classmates took the party to the backyard with a set-up of a few cars and a bonfire. You could see Amber making out with her boyfriend on the grass and Gina smoking weed out of an apple. There were more people, but at this point, your vision blurred everything into an impressionist painting. You took deep breaths, attempting not to vomit with each one, and slowly sat down, holding onto Carol.

“Shiiiit, my world is spinning around and shit.” You lain down, staring into the sky and tree crowns.

“Same, me too, but it’s kinda sweet.” She sat down and lit up a cigarette.

“So, what cigarettes do you smoke, hmm?” You giggled.

“Here, maybe you can guess, hmm?” She leaned over, her hair hovering over your face. She put the cig in your mouth, and you took it into your fingers, taking a drag. Carol sat back down, awaiting your answer with a grin.

“Weeell, hm, I’m going to guess, Newports?” You turned to the side, looking at her.

“Nuh-uh. Sorry, Engie. Pall Mall’s, the menthol ones.” She shrugged, and you rolled your eyes, scoffing. After a short pause, the both of you burst into laughter, enjoying each other's company, accompanied by fire ambiance and gusts of wind. You could stay like this forever, just you, Carol, a pack of cigarettes, and a lighter against the world. There was something special about this moment, but you couldn’t exactly place a finger on it. You stared at the backdoor and noticed more and more people coming, all of whom were chanting Zach! Zach! Zach! Denning took her cigarette and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, still facing you. With more people walking out, you could make out said Zach, covered in sweat with his shirt off, and his muscular buddy carrying a keg.

“Fuuucking hell, a kegger?” You sighed, and Carol turned her head back around.

“Dude, dude, ‘I’ve never seen one of these in real life, only heard about it from Barb or movies.”

“I kinda don’t like ‘em, kinda grosses me out.” The group had set up the keg and began hyping up Zach. LET’S FUUCKING DO THIIIS!, animalistic yelling broke out.

“Come on, let’s see this insanity. Maybe we gonna get lucky, come on. And maybe he’ll puke on his precious tight-ass jeans or somethin’.” Carol cracked up just at the possibility of it happening, and you couldn’t lie that you’d enjoy that too. 

She helped you get back on your feet, and you dashed towards them, trying hard to keep your balance. You squeezed to get in front of the circle that formed around the keg. Rachel and Veronica waved at you, and you waved back at them, Carol unable to control her guffawing.

Chris took Zachary by his legs and held him up, and the drinking game began. Zach! Zach! Zach! Zach! People cheered on, someone else kept count of how many times he chugged it down. After around 20 chugs, Zach pulled away from his friend and fell on the keg, everyone laughing at him. He collected himself quite quickly and stood up, pumping his fists in victory as his buddy patted him on the back to the sound of applause.

“So, WHOOO WANTS TO GOOO NEEEXT?!” He announced, pushing his friend around like an ape.

“Fuck it, I’ll do it!” Ronica exclaimed. Rachel said something to her, trying to hold her back, but she nudged her and walked over to the keg anyway. People around her were gasping or cheering her on, including you and Carol, too intoxicated to be aware of how bad of an idea it would be.

“Alright, Vasquez!” Zach smirked at his posse. “Let’s give our soccer star a biiiiig standing ovation. LETS FUCKING GOOO!” His hyping-up skills worked, and everyone started clapping.

“This one is for the mythical, uh, mythical medium with Engie over there! Uh, also, go Scorpions!?” Vee smiled and pointed at Carol, and the whole routine went down again; Zachary held her by the legs, people chanted, and someone counted her gulps. 

“Zach, enough!” She cried out, spitting out the alcohol. He put Ronica down, and she immediately fell on her knees next to the keg, her shirt, and chin covered in sticky malt ale. Your smile faded, and you picked at your face. Carol glanced at you and chuckled, but stopped the moment she had a longer look at you.

“How many?” He asked. 

“Uhh, like, 16?” The crowd started booing, and Zach made misogynistic remarks, acting like a clown to entertain his other douchebag friends.

As soon as Veronica started vomiting, you and Rachel ran towards her, meanwhile, everyone else realized that shit got serious, had their final laugh and left her alone. 

You stood behind Vee, holding her hair back, as Rachel went to the kitchen for water. No one was saying a word, with Carol awkwardly stuck in the middle of the whole situation with nowhere to go or no one to talk to. Your teammate brought the water and gave her sips while you comforted Veronica. The worry was so overwhelming that you didn’t realize that Denning left, only noticing after Rachel pointed it out. 

You were drunk, confused, cold, and stressed out.

“Shit, shit, shit. Rachel, uh, I’ll help you take her to the bathroom, but, uh, I need to look for my friend.” You got up, almost stumbling, and everything started spinning again. You swallowed hard, holding back the stress as best as you could, as a heavy pit feeling grew in your stomach.

“Sure, don’t worry. Let’s get her cleaned up.” Clearly, Rachel was sober, or just slightly tipsy, able to handle the situation maturely. The two of you carried her under your arms, your eyes lingering around in an attempt to find Carol; she wasn’t in the living room, dining room, hallway, or kitchen. You thanked Rachel once again for taking care of Vee, and you stumbled around the house. 

The intoxication reached its peak, the world around you fading to obscurity, your view narrowing to one point. Your heart sped up, to the point where you could feel your veins pumping blood into it. Everything moved so fast—way too fast, while your body was stuck in slow motion as you held onto walls, staggering. 

Every time you tried to ask someone if they had seen Carol, the bass thrummed into your eardrums, each time more and more overwhelming, leaving you without an answer. You walked into the living room once again, this time full of dread and fear. You bumped into people, mumbling apologies here and there, getting nasty looks from those who noticed. The ringing in your ears drowned out everything else, the thick smoke felt like being underwater for too long, and you weren’t sure if you would make it to the backyard at this point, but you pushed through. Some people might have asked you if you were fine, but it didn’t register at the time.

Finally, you slid the glass door, and just as you stepped outside, a chill went down your body, and you wretched on the ground, your legs wobbly. 

You felt slightly better now, but too weak to walk, and still all you could think about was Carol. What if you passed by her but just didn’t notice? You weren’t ready to go back inside, currently, it seemed like the worst idea. The music outside was loud enough. 

You sat down, further away from the vomit, and took deep breaths, trying to calm down. The cold air hitting your face gave a sense of relief, and you grabbed the weeds, pulling them out from stress. Soon, patches of grass formed around you, and your palms were filthy with dirt and pieces of grass stuck to them. You stood up, ready to continue looking for Carol. You ran towards the bonfire, falling now and then, hoping that somebody was still around. 

“Gina! Gina! Oh my god!” You panted, and she looked at you concernedly with bloodshot eyes.

“Heeey, what’s up?” You could feel people staring at your disheveled self, but it didn’t matter. You won’t even remember this tomorrow.

“Uh, have you, you seen a girl here? Or somewhere, well, she has these big glasses. Really big glasses, and, uh, a blue flannel, and maybe she also has a beanie on, oh, and she smells like ci-” Gina cut you off.

“Hey, chill.” She put her hand on your shoulder. “Yeah, I saw her somewhere around here, I think she went in that direction.” She pointed to a large tree.

“Oh god, thanks a lot!” You yelled and sprinted in the direction Gina gave you, trying your hardest not to barf or trip again. You could barely hear the music anymore as the figure sitting under a tree got clearer and clearer with each step you took. 

“Carol, hey Carol!” She didn’t say a word but raised her head. The moment you reached the tree, you immediately slid down next to her, your heart and head pounding, still sitting in silence.

You weren’t sure what was happening or why she wasn’t saying anything, but you felt slightly better knowing that you had found her. What if something bad happened and she was too stunned to say anything? Here it was again—the ringing in your ears and a pit in your stomach.

“Are you alright?” 

“Oooh yeah, I’m fucking dandy, fuckin’, feeling amazing.” Carol scoffed in an exaggerated, high-pitched tone. You drew your eyebrows together, eyes darting around.

“Did something happen? Something bad?” 

“Oh, right, right. Yeah, it kinda did. Like, you know, someone threw me to the curb. You know, and it’s funny, ‘cause it was the same person that, hmm, invited me here.” She paused, widening her eyes, smiling insincerely. “And it’s hilarious, ‘cause she knows that I don’t know nobody here.” She gesticulated aggressively, slurring her words, and lit up a cigarette. You were so out of it that it took you a while to realize that Carol was talking about you.

You jerked your head back, staring at her. “What’s your damage? I, you saw Vee, she needed help. And, and you could’ve helped too.”

“And you could’ve stayed with me, Y/N! What if something happened to me too?” She took short, aggressive drags, puffing the smoke in your face. “And, and, your other fuckin’ friend was there, you don’t need a fucking team to help a wasted girl.” 

“Oh, you know what? Fuck off! She’s my friend, not some wasted girl. And, and friends, friends take care of each other, and that’s what I did!” You spoke up, standing up too fast, leaning against the tree. “Well, also, now, now you fucking know how it feels to be abandoned, or, or neglected, ignored, whatever the fuck without a word!” You kicked at the tree and groaned, storming away. Carol stood up as well and followed after you, not letting the argument go.

“Oh, what the fuck do you mean now?” She caught up to you, her warm alcohol breath close to your ear.

“You know what I fucking mean!” You stopped walking and turned to face her, yanking the cigarette out of her hand. 

“Oh, no. Please, please enlighten me, Engie.” Carol crossed her arms and flared her nostrils.

“You know, Care, you basically decided to drop out of my life without saying a word when we were kids. I called you, I called you, I called you, I called you and you never fucking answered!” You pointed the cigarette at her, your voice strained and breaking from all the yelling. The wind messed up your hair, and you took a drag from the cig. 

“Oh, come the fuck on. It wasn’t that serious.” She snickered, shaking her head. “My mom just changed the phone number one day and didn’t tell me about it, that’s it. It’s not that fucking serious!” She snatched the cigarette away from you and put it out on the ground.

“That’s, that’s one bullshit of an excuse, color me impressed! You knew my phone number, you knew my sister’s phone number, the house phone number—I even fucking wrote them down in your journal! I know when you’re fucking lying, and you’re fucking lying!” You shouted at her so loudly that you could feel your neck tendons poking out. The immense anger made you sick to your stomach, and your eyes started watering, even though you tried your hardest not to cry. You had a feeling that all of this, it wasn’t a good idea, but you were too drunk to make good decisions.

Carol’s eyebrows were twitching, and she made direct eye contact with you, stepping closer. “You know what? Yeah, okay, I am fucking lying.” Her breathing grew faster. “I stopped calling ‘cause, because, it was fucking pointless anyway, but you, you wouldn’t fucking get it.” Her voice trembled as tears started forming. “All you reminded me of was my childhood, when, when Barb and I still got along before she became a bitchy attention whore! Before that fucking brat, before Debbie swept in and took over the family!” Carol took off her glasses and brushed away the tears with shaky hands. You tried to say something, but she continued. “You, you only care about what you experienced, but what about me? WHAT ABOUT ME?! Do you have ANY idea how lonely it was? Every time, every time without fail, whenever I’d make a new friend, it all went to shit in the end anyway, because Debbie would come in fucking it all up because we had to move again for her stupid fucking competitions!” You didn’t know what to say. Carol hid her face in her palms, letting out a creaky scream that turned into wailing. “Meanwhile, meanwhile, you were here, with your friends, going to summer camp... While I was probably just... You probably forgot about me.” Her jaw was shaking, and she kept on staring at the ground, tears falling, exhausted from the emotional outburst. 

“Carol, no, no. Wait, how could I ever forget you? I’m, I’m serious. You were my best friend, Carol. I always, always kept you in the back of my mind!” You chewed on your lip and picked away at a scab, turning your head away, crying quietly. “I thought about you, like, I thought about you a lot. I missed you so much, I promise, I’m not lying. I missed you.” You faced her again and she looked up at you with puffy, bloodshot eyes, chapped and quivering lips, before walking away without a word. 

You wanted to tell her that she should wait up or just shout her name, but you just stood there, like a coward, unable to move, staring off into the distance with tears smearing mascara all over your face.

Did you really fuck everything up so suddenly? Just god knows how many hours ago you danced with her, lied down on the grass, grinning from ear to ear, and now, possibly, your last interaction with her was a stupid drunken argument that fell out of proportion. You’ll have no one to blame but yourself if she won’t want to talk to you ever again.

[cyberphuck]

So now that the AWOL iPad has come home (it was a gift from a very very dear friend) I will finally be able to start taking commissions again. I need to get back into practice doing digital art, though, so I am offering

FREE COMMİSSIONS

To anyone who wants their OC or fursona or blorbo drawn (If you ask for a fursona it might be a little shitty, I have drawn one fursona in my entire life).

1. Three slots

2. You either get a character head-and-shoulders or bust-up (bust-up usually turns into waist-up with me)

3. One character, no background, but you can request a caption, speech bubble, or emoji bubble

4. No Sleep For Whales is fine, I have no issue with nudity or face covered in manchowder or whatever but *at this time* I will not be drawing things-in-mouth only because I am lazy (gore and body horror are fine too.)

5. Provide references and/or a detailed description as well as pose and expression. You can also tell me your OC's backstory, it actually helps me get a feel for what they look like

And finally, 6. They get done when they get done. I don't expect a commịssion to take more than a week and I'll send you updates as I go, but my life sometimes explodes at random and these are free.

I will be using the art I make as examples for when I do paid comms.

Send me an ask or a DM to claim your slot, then you have a couple days to think of what you want.

[starbound-aria]

Been a while since this captain has sent an update, huh? Between doing base management to get materials for my ship, and making sure the base I have is suitable to live in even after I leave, don't have a lot exciting to report. So how about another story of my training days?

The training mission was simple, more of a glorified field trip really, travel to a few colonies here and there, see what they were growing and how, specifically how they were growing things thier plants shouldn't have the support for, and sometimes eveb with out green houses. Simple stuff really.

While we are leaving one colony and getting ready to head towards the next one, we get a message form them, they are predicting a drought and wanted to know if we could bring them a shipment of water, the captain agrees and we make a detour to a uninhabited fresh water planet, a quick make shift pumping station and a couple hours later our cargo hold is full and we are ready to leave again. During FTL travel we hear something go "thunk" in the cargo hold, captain makes an emergency stop and some of the crew to check it out. One of the barrels of water is busted open. And thus a lot of freaking out on the ship.

Now for some spoilers, this is where I learned not to send students alone to check things. The barrel was not a water barrel, it was a healing water barrel that we have to mix our own to treat minor cuts, burn, etc. It was also busted into, not out of. Like the students thought.

While the captain and the trained protectorates on board were trying to get everything under control with everyone on the bridge, someone peaks over at the ship logs and notices doors are being opened else where on the ship, and everyone is on the bridge at this point so they shouldn't be.

I was one of the few who had any sort of weapons on them, so me and a few of the proper crew go to see what's going. Last door opened was to a hydroponic chamber, one growing pussplums and boneaboos, so we head there.

Once we were in the hall leading to the chamber we hear the sound of metal being torn apart, from the hydroponics chamber, and notice it looks like something has pried the door open, before it opened it self. Once inside some of the plants are destroyed and a vent cover is broken, and what looks like blood (aka boneaboo juice) is all over the floor. At this point everyone is rightfully on edge.

Thankfully hydroponics due need specific air controls so it's vent system isn't part of the rest of the ship, and after tracking it through which doors its opening we finally corner the mysterious creature causing a bunch of chaos and noise.

It's a floran stow away got snuck in with the lander when we went to go water. Apprently they got separated from thier hunting party, and thought they got left by mistake, and then noticed us landing, and mistook us for minikong, which thier hreenfingered warned them about, thus the hiding. And when they broke open the barrel of height water, they assumed it was something dangerous, and decided they lived in the vents now.

Luckily for them, while they offer almost nonthing, the boneaboos and pussplums they snatched aren't the worse thing for a floran to eat, and we had other carnivores on ship.

We brought them with us and eventually got in touch with thier tribe and returned them safely.

If you are ever stranded, please don't just stow away on a random ship, some ships don't keep all of thier bays safe for living things during FTL to cut costs, so you don't know where is safe. And, unless they are having thier own issues, a protectorate ship will help you

[lilyblackdrawside]

Finally got around to clearing IS2′s new extra boss. The stage is not terribly enjoyable in my opinion, but I might be affected by having to constantly reset on either Floor 3 or 5 due to not getting the correct events to even access it. Chasing after Event tiles isn’t something I enjoy in the first place, since they’re usually not worth it over just picking more fights, shops and rest stops. I prefer them over Downtime Recreation, but that’s a low bar to clear. (In my opinion only the Zalak and Durin DR’s are worth it. Zalak if you get it late since I tend to have some hope to toss into it.)

My opinion of it is further soured by having gotten the Cautious floor effect on the final stage, leaving me with a total of 6 deployment limit. I won thanks to a combination of items that allowed me to somehow kill him in two steps by utilizing Skill 2 Archetto of all things. For some reason I remembered there being a melee tile in the area the Playwright first shows up in and wanted to sic Spalter on him, but that ended up being a bust.

I don’t like the stage because the Playwright as a boss is best handled by spawnkilling him. Now, I’m usually all for outright aggression, but in his position as the Extra Boss he’s difficult to experiment on. If I could perform trial runs on him to see what works and what doesn’t, I’d probably enjoy it. It’s also a case where there are operators I’d like to use against him, that I find to not be overall useful in the rest of the game mode due to generally unfavourable stage layouts. Also while I don’t harbour the deep-seated hatred for the Winterwisp Blood Shamans that those who experienced Wolumonde when it first released, I don’t regard them as particularly great enemies since they’re so non-interactable. They’re too heavy to shove, move quickly and their hp-loss isn’t high enough to make stalling them all that worthwhile so you just gun them down in the end. Granted, in IS2 you have much higher overall stats, so you can just facetank them if need be (which I did) but it doesn’t feel great.

I guess now that I have beaten the boss once while also using Leader Squad (which while actually being quite good, especially when facing new challenges, does leave you somewhat less stacked in the endgame compared to some of the others.) I can get a bit more experimental and risky.

The new boss aside, I like the additions the update brought with it. The new combat stages are nice and there are a bunch of fun relics, like the horn and camera that increase stun/cold/freeze duration, which are really funny with someone like Gnosis or Bibeak. The X Contract relics are a bit weird, mostly because none of them cover a combination of classes that I tend to get a lot of both of. The idea is nice though. I hope to get the Angelina relic that reduces enemy weight together with the Shift-strength+ relic at some point to see if I can push Lucian around. There is no point to that, I just want to hose him down.

Royal Brooch and Tears of the Departed are both also quite neat for defensive collectibles.

[espithewarlock]

Fun Facts with Espi!

So I'm writing this as I have officially loaded the last chapter of my Charles/Max/Pierre Soulmark AU into AO3 and I feel like doing a fic debrief?

I'm weird about a lot of things and long author's notes are one of those things so I'm here rambling on Tumblr instead. For those who may or may not be interested.

Anyways, writing this fic was a process. I had the idea a long time ago, stopped it to write the entirety of my Piarles Mermaid AU, picked it up again, paused to write 90% of the Carlando Coffeeshop AU that's a companion fic to the Mermaid AU, picked it up again, paused to write 'A Gift for a Gift' in a fever dream, picked it up again, paused to write some of an A/B/O fic, and then finally had the motivation to finish it.

(So, if anything feels disconnected, I'm sorry. I tried my best.)

Fun Fact #1 - The Brain Cells Discord chat was the first part of this fic I wrote and is honestly one of my favorite scenes. I just love the idea of all of them being chaotic horny gremlins in a private online space. (Also, my Google Doc is just called 'The Brain Cells')

Fun Fact #2 - I planned for this fic to be rated T, which is why all of the early Piarles scenes are all 'fade to black' kind of sex. Then Chapter 16 happened and all three got horny for each other. So fuck it, it's an Explicit fic now. I don't make the rules.

Overall I'm really happy with how this fic turned out. It's the longest thing I've posted and I did enjoy writing it. Write what you want to read and all that.

Fun Fact #3 - Speaking of, I don't post WIPs because I don't read WIPs. That's a personal preference and I have a ton of admiration for the authors with the confidence to post works in progress. That's awesome and I can't wait to read your fic when it hits Complete status.

I've just been burned one too many times by fantastic stories where the author stopped updating for any number of reasons, so I never want to be that sort of author.

If I start posting a chaptered fic that's not a snippet/side-story collection, know that the full story is written and will be posted pending editing and/or nuclear apocalypse.

So, for anyone who likes my stuff (???) and wants to know what's coming up, here's what I've got in progress, in no particular order:

The previously-mentioned Carlando Coffeeshop AU (with background Piarles). It's a companion fic (not a sequel) to my Mermaid AU, takes place at roughly the same time but covers a lot of the on-land activities and Lando being a disaster over Carlos. It's almost finished, pending literally half an epilogue, so if that sounds fun then come yell at me to finish it.

The previously-mentioned A/B/O fic. I honestly thought I would never be the sort of author to dip my toes into A/B/O but I was bit by an inspiration bug. It's a Maxiel fic (AU-Non-F1 drivers) with Max POV for the whole thing. There is also plenty of established Piarles and Carlando, with Lewis, Alex, George, and other familiar faces rounding out the pack. That's a much longer way off, sitting at maybe 50% right now, but the broad plot is outlined and I have scenes occupying real estate in my head.

A Max/Pierre kinda-soulmark oneshot. It's an AU in an interesting world that I want to keep exploring in prompt/snippet format. This one is actually finished, but I want to wait to post it until I have the time to respond and write the companion snippets & prompts I might receive from you lovely people. Or from my own head.

Companion oneshots to ~this~ Soulmark AU. I already have one completed that's Danny Ric POV that takes place between chapter 16 & 17. Basically, Daniel wants to be a good friend and comfort Max after the Saudi GP, busts into his hotel room, finds a mostly-naked Pierre, assumes that Pierre is cheating on Charles, then very rapidly has the truth paraded in front of him. (I mean, come on Daniel. Really? Pierre is so horny for Charles that it's not funny.) This one is also finished and will likely be posted in a couple of days.

The other companion oneshot I have floating around my head is Charles POV and is just PWP, filthy explicit sexy times between the three of them. If you liked Chapter 16, yell at me to work on this one next.

Another PWP explicit sexy times threesome oneshot, but this time it's Carlos/Charles/Pierre. Inspired by a comment I saw on that one pic of Pierre grabbing Carlos' chin during a press conference. You know the one. It's half-finished and I'd kinda like to have it done to post in time for kinktober. (There's bondage. It's fun.) I don't really have the inclination to ~participate~ in kinktober, but I figure there's no harm in increasing the general smut that's available.

Another chaptered threesome soulmark-AU, but this time featuring Lefrere incest! It starts off Pierre/Charles with a very platonic, brotherly Arthur being jealous (envious?) of their relationship/soulmarks. He pushes those inappropriate feelings down (or tries to) until he gets a soulmark that matches theirs. They all panic and have to navigate ~whatever this is~ together. This is also finished, but I know people are weird about incest and doubly weird about RPF incest. Honestly, I felt weird writing it but it was stuck in my brain and demanded to be written. If this sounds like something you'd read, let me know and I'll consider posting it.

Anyways, that's what I've got going on right now. If you've made it this far, congrats! (Also, why???)

Like, I'm still reeling over the fact that people not only read my fics? but leave kudos?? and comment??? It's so nice what the heck????

Again, I write what I want to read and it's mind-boggling that other people want to read it too.

If you made a comment on AO3 that you actually want me to reply/respond to, ask me here on Tumblr! I mostly lurk, but you might be able to drag me out from under my rock.

Fun Fact #4 - I'm very awkward about replying to comments on AO3. I do see them and am deeply appreciative for everyone who takes the time to comment. I just don't like increasing the comment count by replying. Something about that makes my brain itch. I love authors who interact with their fans directly in comments, I'm just never going to be one of them.

So, if you like, let me know your thoughts! Anything you want me to respond to about this Soulmark-AU? Who do you think Lewis' soulmate is? Is Max actually a full-time problem? (Yes.) Is there a particular fic in the list above that you're more interested in than others? Want to know what else I'm weird about? Ask away!

Do I need to write shorter posts? (Also yes.)

[trishmishtree]

Regency gown project: Part I-lost-count

As what is probably going to be the last thing I sew in 2022, I finally finished the bodice of the gown. Kind of. Mostly.

I’m pinning it in the front and will probably just go with pins for closures for the final dress. I tried button closures for the bodiced petticoat made from the same pattern, and I’ve decided that more buttons on the gown bodice would just be too bulky.

I only made 2 mockups when drafting the sleeve pattern, so I’m happy the process was relatively painless. I have no idea what the correct process for sleeve drafting is, but I just kind of vaguely cut out a shape that I thought would work, sewed it onto the bodice, refitted it until I was happy with it, took a pen to trace out the stitch lines, and then unpicked and cut out the final sleeve shape to trace onto a paper pattern.

As stated in the last progress update, it’s made from a lining of plain modern utility muslin and an outer fashion layer of cotton gauze. The gauze fabric has a floral pre-embroidered border that’s going to go around the bottom of the skirt. The rest of the embroidery on the dress will be done by hand.

There are 440 separate little dots on this bodice, not including the ones that go along the scalloped pattern on the ruffles of the sleeves. I know because I counted how many colonial knots I had to do instead of actually just sucking it up and doing them. The vine on the ruffles is also based on the extant gown, except I don’t think I got the proportion quite right because the leaves look like they’re spaced more closely together on the original gown. Oh well, I guess I’ll just do the vines right when I embroider the waistband.

On the extant dress, the dots and vine work are actually thousands of tiny metal staples, not embroidery. And they were originally silver, not black, but have tarnished over the last 210 years. But I actually really like the look of the darker dots, and the only pre-embroidered fabric I could find that would remotely work for this was the cotton gauze with a navy floral border that definitely isn’t historically accurate, so I’m sticking with navy blue thread embroidery for my dress. Attempting strict HA and making my dress as exact to the original is kind of moot since I’m already taking the liberty of giving this 1810s ballgown an apron-front closure for ease of getting in and out of it, instead of the back buttoned closure that would have been more popular by this decade and that I know for 100% certain the original gown has. Maybe someday I’ll try to make a more accurate replica, if I can source period-accurate cotton muslin and if I’m dedicated enough to attempt to do the entire skirt border embroidery by hand too. (If that ever happens, I might even go for back closures, except I would have to make them hooks and eyes instead of buttons because I 100% cannot reach back there with my right arm. And I’d need to contact the museum and ask if they have more photos of the back of the dress.)  For now I’ll settle for doing a bazillion colonial knots and apron front closures and conjectured side-back seam placements.

Here’s a view from the side to compare to the original museum piece:

You can’t tell from the front view, but I have to use my hand as a censor bar for the side view today. Mostly because my stays are doing exactly what they’re supposed to. I can’t show you what the stays look like (aside from the tiny sliver you can see through the gap in the petticoat) because they are under bust and my shift is translucent, and that would be even more indecent than me not covering my neckline in the above photo. I’m really happy with my decision to remake the stays. I know I was upset because they’re really wrinkly, but it literally does not matter because you can’t see them anyway. I can’t say I really recommend the Bernhardt stays considering how much of a fuss they were to make and fit and remake and refit. I think I made 4 mockups before I was satisfied, and that’s just really psychologically painful when you sew everything by hand. My final pattern required so much tweaking that the shape doesn’t really resemble the original Bernhardt pattern anymore. That said, it was a good starting point and the finished product definitely does the job.

What was not doing its job today was my shift. The neckline kept bunching up in the back and making lumps through the gown bodice, so I tried to redistribute the gathers. That helped, but then it made my front neckline too low. But if I tried to tighten the drawstrings of the shift, then the shift would feel tight in the bust and flatten out the silhouette. So I had to settle for the lower front neckline, which means I just constantly look like I’m spilling out of my stays. (It’ll be fine. It will all get covered up once I make the front bib that will complete the bodice.)

The skirt also still needs to be embroidered with probably 3000 (not hyperbole) more tiny colonial knots before I can assemble the whole dress together, so this feels like a good stopping place to close out 2022.

Until next time then.

[cosmica-galaxy]

Let’s also not forget that 2022 is the year that-- We acquired a major step towards Nuclear Fusion, a bountiful cleaner energy source. People have united and found the importance of unions. We’ve had more people unionize and have exposed companies for union busting. Workers are continuing the fight for better wages and worker rights. The railroad system is a major partaker in fights like these. A beach that was once covered in garbage was cleaned up and became the site for sea turtles to lay their eggs. (The beaches are now protected!) Animal abuse cases are being treated much more seriously than they have in the last 10 years. An animal abuse case that results in fatalities from known neglect and cruelty not only lands the prosecuted in prison, they also get fined and blacklisted from adopting. (Spotty information, but the animal cruelty laws have been updated.) CDL companies are finally gaining the blame they deserve from causing numerous fatalities over the last few years by putting inexperienced drivers behind the wheels of such large vehicles with no proper training. The 2-4 week processes that these ‘schools’ are going by is no longer legal by the NHTSA. (I’m a CDL truck driver, it’s takes 6 MONTHS to get used to it and use them safely. These “”schools”” should’ve been banned many years ago!) Despite Roe v. Wade being rolled back, states are now taking up the front lines to fight for women’s rights. There is already regret forming among those who voted for it to be repealed, hopefully we’ll put in more leftwingers into the fight and establish women’s rights all over once more. Cryptos have all crashed and the GPU makers, namely Navidia (I think), will implement features into the future graphics cards that actively prevents the GPU’s from being used to mine crypto. Also, now that the Cryptos all crashed, GPU mining is becoming a pointless investment and we’re now able to buy graphics cards again without going through opportunistic scalpers. (FUCK YOU SCALPERS.) Some countries, I think Germany is one of them, are making most of their energy through clean renewable energy! Completely leaving coal and diminishing natural gas usage! People have come to realize how toxic Christianity is and how much damage that the religion actually does. From the over-extension reach of power to blurring the line between church and state, Christianity has become more and more unpopular over the last few years. Especially among millennials and Gen Z, who have show a growing distaste or disinterest in organized religion.  Never forget the churches in Canada that killed and buried numerous CHILDREN of Canadian natives throughout the 90′s and 80′s. (You can believe what you want in a harmless manner, but understand that you are still a member of churches like these. Especially if you’re catholic.) Finally, gay rights have won in a total of 3 countries this year and 1 country has actively protected trans rights! The world is getting gayer and we are HERE for it!

Fantastic Beasts is suspended indefinitely.

Musk is begging for cash because he made the stupidest purchase in internet history.

Zucky Wucky is hemorrhaging cash because the Metaverse goal of becoming the NFT successor of real estate speculation was met with the deserved mockery at how stupid it was.

Trump is finally being properly prosecuted for crimes he unquestionably and very inconspicuously committed.

Alex Jones owes a billion dollars to Sandy Hook victims.

The Tories are imploding in a schism that might actually result in the collapse of the British empire.

Putin has ran out of army and crawled pathetically to the corner a tiny insurgent army pushed him towards, decades of military propaganda burnt away in months.

Prime Minister Shinzō Abe died with no glory.

The GOP is so confused after the Trump era they don't even know how to run their grifts anymore.

Rings of Power was such a mediocre release Amazon could potentially drop Prime Video altogether.

Turns out 2022 was really the "find out" year. It took a while but I'm loving this season finale so far.