#also finally i can use that tng gif

[pharawee]

Me watching THAT scene in ep 4 of Knock Knock Boys only I'm German so I have no natural defences against advanced levels of Thai poop humour

[multiverserift]

I really like Kira Nerys. Let's discuss her and organized religion A hothead, experienced freedom fighter, child soldier, passionate, kind, really good at self-control. In [DS9 S01E19: Duet], she learns that life can be complex and difficult and ultimately learns to forgive Marritza. She learns that hate has to end at some point to make peace. But there is one aspect of Kira that I always find unnerving: Her absolute blind spot when it comes to faith. And DS9's handling of organized religion. 01. Bajoran Culture and Cultures in Star Trek Because Kira is the Bajoran character we see most, and the only fleshed out character where "being Bajoran" is a major character trait, we mostly experience the culture through her. Yes there's Leeta, but there is just a single instance where it plays into the story that she's Bajoran. [DS9 S05E20: Ferengi Love Songs]. Leeta wants a Bajoran wedding, while Rom tries to hold onto what's left of his Ferengi identity. Rom ultimately lets go of all the Ferengi stuff. Good for him. Of course there is also Kai Winn, but her stories mostly circle about her being Kai Winn, not her being a Bajoran. There is a single instance here too, where her Bajoran identity plays into the story, and her past during the Occupation. ([DS9: S05E10 Rapture]) She explains that she teached the faith of the prophets and was imprisoned for it. The other Bajoran characters are less fleshed out characters. Shakaar, Lupaza, and Furel. Even Li Nalasm remember him? Ro Laren is there of course, but her job was to create conflict in the perfect world of the Enterprise-D. Not being Bajoran, primarily. Star Trek does this more than once. Experiencing a whole culture through a single character. For a long time, Spock was the only fleshed out Vulcan we got to see, besides one episode with Sarek. Plus Sarek in the movies. It took decades until Tuvok showed us more than Spock's perspective. And ENT with T'Pol and the Vulcans arc finally fleshed out the species more. Jadzia is the only Trill that matters. Kind of a one trick pony species. The people with the symbiotes. And when Ezri finally shows up, we learn a bit more about them when they're not centered about their symbiotes. Cardassia is a good counter-example: We have Dukat, Damar and Garak to show us Cardassian culture from various perspectives. Plus the Tribunal episode, TNG's torture of Picard ("There are four lights!") We learn a lot about Cardassia. The DS9 treatment of the Ferengi will always be top notch.

02. Kira and Religion So back to Bajor, Kira and religion. Hehe, Bajor Kira. Sorry. As a non-religious man, I have my problems sharing her point of view. Trusting in faith, even when it contradicts rationality. There are two main storylines that illuminate this problem: 1. [DS9: S04E17 Accession] 2. Kira's relationship with Kai Winn. In Accession, Akorem Laan takes over the job as Emissary and installs himself as a conservative, even reactionary, religious leader. Bajorans are told to follow their d'jarras. A caste system. And Kira as our PoV Bajoran, simply....does it. Her D'jarra is Ih'valla, the artists caste. She actually had to struggle with this before. In [DS9: S02E02 The Circle] she tried living in the monastery with Bareil. She tells him she sucks at being an artist. Kira really tried. So when Akorem takes over the religious leadership (maintaining a good working relationship with Kai Winn, what a red flag), Kira shows us how Bajor reacts. They simply.....comply? Odo even tries out the sceptical, rational PoV. Kira just brushes it aside. DS9 does this a few times, actually. Respecting their characters' choices rooted in faith. Odo fighting Weyoun calling him a god on every occasion. Worf and Kira agreeing on Sisko's choice of trusting the Prophets in [DS9: S05E10: Rapture]. Weyoun 6's sacrifice. Even Quark's little prayers to his piggybank. What I really dislike about the plot of Accession is the Deus Ex Machina. The characters are not confronted with their choices. Akorem Laan and Vedek Porta don't go to jail for murdering some guy. Kira doesn't have to deal with supporting a regime that got opressive in a heartbeat. What I would have really liked to see were the Bajorans that disagree. The ones Akorem threatens with deportation. Sorry, our 45 minutes are up, the Prophets endorse The Sisko, Akorem is gone. Kira even still likes his poetry! Yay! Pity. I would have loved to see the consequences. And see if Kira finds a way to deal with blind obedience. Which brings me to my second point. 03. Kira Nerys and Kai Winn

While Gul Dukat is mainly Sisko's antagonist, Kai Winn is Kira's. She basically killed Kira's boyfriend, cashed in on his accomplishments and literally stole his fame, after she cheated her way to becoming Space Pope. Which would have been him. Bareil. Interesting side story: Bareil does the same thing Kira does. He blindly trusts the religious system. Bareil doesn't question Kai Winn's authority. Well, then she kills him by overworking him, and he lets her. Gladly. He decides to get killed. Because he trusts the Prophets. There's another side question here. Are the Prophets to be trusted? Are they doing good things for Bajor? or are they selfish? I basically think they're selfish af, and I can explain. But that's a story for another time.

So Kai Winn did a terrorism in [S01E20: In the Hands of the Prophets], gets people killed, supports an insurrection (but to be honest, her support never got public), cheats herself to be Pope, nearly starts a civil war because of Shakaar. Kira is in a powerful position. She is one of the most trusted advisors to the Emissary of the Prophets, is an administrator of DS9, was a member of the famed Shakaar Resistance Cell. She obviously has power. Military power, political power. She knows how to play politics. There is a dialogue about this in [DS9 S01E13: "Battle Lines] And she obviously knows Kai Winn is horrible. Dangerous. When does she talk back? Once. She does it once. In [DS9 S02E24: The Collaborateur], she is snarky and gets scolded by Winn. She never openly defies her again. Kira is complicit with a religious organisation that constantly punishes her for it. That would force her into a career she hates. That killed her boyfriend and robbed his dead body. Kai Winn even gloats over it a few episodes later. And in Accession, we see the climax of this: Even when the religious regime gets captured by bad people, she complies. 04: Fazit I would have loved to see Kira deal with the contradictions. See people who don't comply with Kai Winn's church. Who challenge that system. Because like in our world, organisations can and will be captured by bad players, in bad faith. The ability of political structures to withstand capture and abuse is essential. This always starts with the people being able to recognize it and fight back. I don't like it. I'm more like Odo. Rational, naturalistic. I don't understand how one can think with religious faith. Especially because Kira has such a temper and a sense for injustice. She challenges Winn from within the system, yes. With Shakaar. For a while. Then Shakaar loses steam as a character and we don't delve further into the matter. Simply DS9 having enough depth to allow such discussions about their characters is one if the reasons I love it so much. Stay safe out there, people. Stay vigilant in the face of powerful people. Thank you for reading.

[wrathkitty]

Story/Series Masterlist

Hellooo! Thanks for stumbling onto this. My fandoms primarily are The Mandalorian and Star Trek: TNG, but there's also The Last of Us, Avengers, Portal 2, and The Good Place. I try to stick as closely to the original source material as possible, I know the canon and the characters, and probably throw in more Easter eggs and other blink-and-you'll-miss-it references than I should.

If you're one for strong and snarky Readers/OFCs (here there be swearing), slow burns (envision a glacier), angst (it's a good kind of pain), and humor (lulz), then this is probably a good place to come waste some time. 👻

* Current works in progress *

Short Debts Make Long Friends - (The Mandalorian; Din Djarin/Reader)

An over-educated, underpaid millennial finally gets to go on her first adventure. 1.6k kudos on Ao3. POV Mando and Reader.

Why Don't You Sit Right Down and Stay Awhile - One-shots from "Short Debts" that admittedly are the walking definition of 'crack treated seriously'

- Can Your Helmet Play Elevator Music? - Oh, This is Much Worse- ...It was a Custom Piece

Completed stories:

Hello, My Dear - (Star Trek: TNG; Reader/Q)

Stories of the life and times of Q and his mortal more-than-just-a-friend, Ensign Reader. Because being omnipotent doesn’t mean a thing when it comes to relationships. POV Q and Reader.

As Q Like It - One-shots from "Hello, My Dear," which primarily remain within in TNG but also wander into Voyager and other territories, but none beyond the Neutral Zone

- Shoo, Q! - TNG; Lower Decks; POV Ensign - Does the Other Party In This Scenario Go By Some Form of Epithet, Identification, or Nomenclature? - TNG; POV Data - You Have Three Choices - TNG; POV Q - That Wasn't the Actual Question - TNG; POV Reader - Do I Always Have to Have a Reason to Stop By? - TNG; POV Reader - I Haven't the Vaguest Idea of What You're Talking About - TNG, POV Q - Silver Q - Picard, POV Q

To My Brother, Thor, Whom I Slept With - (Avengers; Loki & Thor)

One-shots about the shenanigans of a young Loki and Thor, and why the young princes of Asgard are the best birth control ever. Primarily Loki's POV, but also occasionally POV Odin and Frigga regretting their choices)

- Great Aunt Snotra's Funeral- A Midnight Lesson in the Current Events of Midgard - The People vs. The Brothers Odinson, or That Time Loki Thought It Was a Bright Idea to Appear on Daytime TV - One Flew Over the Ravens' Nest (Even the Gods Can Be - Psychoanalyzed)

Come Downstairs and Say Hello - (Portal 2; Chell/Wheatley)

With Wheatley in tow, Chell might as well write "DISPENSE PRODUCT HERE" on her shirt and throw herself in front of a turret...but she can't leave him behind, either. POV Chell, Wheatley, and GLaDOS.

Other works in progress that I don't have the heart to admit to myself are probably on permanent hiatus:

Bang, Zoom, Straight to the Moon - (The Last of Us; Joel/OFC)

Joel has been more than happy to let Ellie sabotage his love life since their arrival in Jackson, but all bets are off after she learns that the town’s most recent arrival is a former astronaut. The new gal is smart, single, pretty, and good with a gun. And she’s gone to mother *fucking* space. Joel POV.

Lucky Denver Mint - (Logan Lucky; Clyde Logan/OFC)

The stars over Boone County never looked brighter than the night a pretty astrophysicist walked into Clyde Logan’s bar. Clyde POV.

The Sleazy Place - (The Good Place)

The possibility of Michael never making into the Good Place is why Janet [literally] reassemble the Soul Squad - and what they owe Michael is why Eleanor doesn't hesitate to team up with her friends one last time to try and save their favorite former fire-squid. Eleanor POV. ...She just needs to finish that margarita first.

Like what you see? Please reblog and comment! I love comments.

[cellarspider]

20/30 Special delivery

(Previous) | (Index) | (Next)

⛬

We return to a movie that has never been to medical school, Prometheus. 

Here it is. The scene that everybody remembers because it gave a fair few people the screaming heebies. This is the movie's take on the chestburster scene–except for the less impactful, more literal version of the chestburster scene we’ll get later, I mean. This one, though, this one, they got it right.

Content warnings for gore, nudity, nude gore, exhaustive discussions of the place of chestbursting in franchise history.

But first! I saw a tag with a desire to see the scene with David and the star map. To spare everyone from watching the rest of the movie to get there, here it is!

[See previous post for lengthy description of the events. I didn’t talk about the music in this before though! It really adds to the sense of wonder in this scene. It reminds me of Daft Punk’s Overture to Tron Legacy (2010), another beautiful and flawed movie. Given the modern use of temporary music in editing that definitely sneaks into what directors demand of scores, there’s a chance this was a direct influence. In terms of the “oh wow, space!” feeling it gives me, I’d also mention the Star Trek TNG opening theme.]

Anyway! On with the horror.

In Alien, the creature’s life cycle was developed by writer Dan O'Bannon, who had two major ideas for its early appearances: sexual, reproductive threat directed at a male character, and Crohn’s disease. O’Bannon had Crohn’s, and he said that inspired the idea of a critter chewing its way out of a man’s guts. 

That personal connection has been lost through subsequent media, in part because the series has continued to use the same creature and the same method of killing, minor deviations like in Covenant and tasteless ones like AvP Requiem notwithstanding. The chestburster is a thing that can only ever really work once in a movie. The first time is relatively drawn out, made a setpiece of the movie, and is a horrifying plot twist for anyone who goes in blind. After that? Drawing it out may risk becoming meaningless gore or boring, so most movies have chosen to just have the little bugger pop out within seconds. It’s the sideshow before you get to the main event, despite being the iconic scene of Alien.

Prometheus’ equivalent scene wins back a fair amount of tension by altering the details of the event, if not the general arc of it. It certainly hammers on the reproductive horror aspect, but loses the original subversion of targeting a male character. Which is a shame, because male-targeted reproductive horror is still boundary-pushing. From the world of horror gaming, Outlast: Whistleblower produced some notably panicked reactions from male players when they encountered the emasculating, specifically reproductive threat of Eddie Gluskin. (Content warning for gore, death, forced feminization, misogynistic language, censored nudity.)

Regardless, we have The Chestburster Scene again, but now it’s in the back half of the movie, and happens to the main human protagonist.

I find it very odd that this movie is so self-consciously iterating over things that were first done in Alien. It’s like watching a devout Catholic pray at the Stations of the Cross.

Speaking of crosses

Before we get to the main event, there’s the first actual attempt at character work between David and Shaw in the movie, as we’re in the final act. David confiscates Shaw’s cross as she wakes up from her post-boyfriend-barbeque faint. “It may be contaminated,” he says.

Shaw’s christianity is one of the few character traits in the film that ties into one of the themes, and has its own arc. She’s giving up her cross to the person who killed her partner, a metaphor for a crisis of faith which is so blatant as to barely be a metaphor at all. And, given the general arc of how these things go, means she’s going to get it back at some point. The context for it is going to be confusing and disappointing, frankly.

And it’s especially weird given the other metaphor going on simultaneously: David runs some scans on her, and declares she’s three months pregnant. This is a non-virgin virgin pregnancy. She is Alien Mary. This, then, is the narrative reason why Shaw is infertile–so that she could be the Mary figure, and, more practically for the plot, have foreknowledge that something was wrong. 

Except it really didn’t have to be that way to make this work. While christian allegory and the creation of life are themes in this movie, Shaw’s infertility was handled with zero grace. And honestly, the movie could work without it–Shaw and Holloway did not have romantic chemistry, as far as I could tell. Lean into that! Just say they haven’t had sex in ages. This scene would actually flow better, because Shaw explicitly objects that she only had sex with Holloway “ten hours ago. There's no bloody way I'm three months pregnant.”

Which again hammers in how stupid fast this movie has been racing its characters toward their doom, but I’m immediately distracted by David pronouncing “it's not exactly a traditional fetus.”

It certainly isn’t. It’s an alien squid, placed there by the holy spirit of black goo. She’s all set to give birth to Squesus. 

I think that’s the only worse way he possibly could’ve said it.

David, frankly, gets some of his worst dialog of the movie here, because he is infected by The Plot for a bit. “It must feel like your God has abandoned you,” he says, after sedating her, “to loose Dr. Holloway after your father died under such similar circumstances.” Which leaves one momentarily with the wild mental image of Dad Shaw sacrificing himself to a flamethrower-welding corpo, but no, David means ebola. David found this out via that dream-watching tech that exists solely to be a mildly unnecessary plot point. Blessedly, this is the last time we see any mention of it.

It’s very strange, how the movie is stuffed full of plot and edited so tightly around the plot that characters barely have room to breathe, yet what it prioritizes as plot-relevant is so scattershot. This failing is also inflicted upon the part of the otherwise very effective Chestburster: The Prequel scene.

Shaw attacks the people who come to take her away to cryo, running in her underwear to the PAULING MED-POD the movie very loudly announced earlier, so that you wouldn’t forget it exists. She tells the PAULING MED-POD that she needs an emergency caesarian. The PLOTPOINT MED-POD informs her that it’s only formatted for male patients.

I’ve seen many people complain this makes no sense. It’s in Vickers’ quarters,  why would she have an expensive medical device that she can’t fully use? Others counter that no, it makes sense, because the med-pod was actually installed for Peter Weyland, thus justifying its male specificity. He’s a selfish bastard, he got it for himself, plot hole avoided.

…Except that doesn’t address the more fundamental problem: What does this add to this scene, to balance out the fact that the audience is now distracted by this information? It slows Shaw down a bit as she figures out how to cue up a foreign body extraction from the abdominal cavity, adding to the tension. But you don’t need that to be what draws out the scene. Maybe the PAULING MED-POD has a slow boot-up sequence. Maybe someone follows her there, and she has to fight them off, possibly killing them in her panic. A dead body in the room would solve an actual logical problem with a later scene.

It’s frustrating, because the pacing of this scene is actually excellent, as is its premise. Shaw has to forego anesthesia and make do with self-administered local painkillers, because the prosthetics and CG teams have done a bang-up job making her stomach writhe unpleasantly, making it very clear that whatever’s in there is mobile enough to be a danger to her, even if it’s removed. 

The pods instruments are mostly CG, but its combination of unhurried routine and abrupt, industrial roboticism adds to the uncomfortable nature of the scene. Sound design is also important here, with all sound effects well-chosen, and mixed to imply claustrophobic closeness and how trapped Shaw is.

The creature itself? Eh. It’s a slightly phallic squid, and squids were already slightly phallic to begin with. They added on a slightly vaginal mouth, which is also a lateral move--squid mouths already look quite a lot like an unworksafe orifice with a beak tucked away in it. Unless you're looking at Promachoteuthis sulcus, whose inner lip structures fold into patterns that look distressingly like human teeth.

Honestly, this is freakier than the actual prop. Good job, Promachoteuthis sulcus. You're only 25 mm long, and a delightful tiny terror.

...But the fact that Shaw’s stuck in the pod with her flailing squid-child is what actually adds another minute of fear and wince-worthy pain, as the almost comically brutal medical staple gun closes her incision and the pod slowly opens up.

She tries to kill it with what appears to be a soothing mist of decontamination spray. This is the one other stumble of the scene, because it’s just… I mean, look at it.

It’s just been spritzed with Febreze. There’s nothing that leaves you wondering if the thing’s still alive for later, you know it’s still alive.

But overall, a well-done scene. The standout horror scene of the movie, which is light on scares. That sparsity wouldn’t even be worth mentioning if the movie were going for slow tension, but with its strange blend of existential quandaries and unremarkable horror tropes, it takes a very strong, singular scene to feel like the tension has actually paid off. I don’t think it completely balances out the deficits of the rest of the horror, but it very nearly manages it, and does manage to be memorable.

Next time: An entirely underwhelming horror scene, and the movie takes another swing at having themes.

⛬

(Previous) | (Index) | (Next)

⛬

Citations for alt-text rambles:

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2019/aug/30/memory-the-origins-of-alien-review-francis-bacon-greek-myth-dan-o-bannon-sci-fi-classic-film 

https://www.stanwinstonschool.com/blog/aliens-chestburster-mechanism-behind-the-scenes 

https://avp.fandom.com/wiki/Seegson 

https://stackoverflow.com/questions/3314219/how-do-u-v-coordinates-work 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surgical_staple (medical gore cw)

https://sites.uw.edu/pauling2020/ 

https://www.paulinamarket.com/

Overflow Ramble #1

A shot of the screen on Chekhov’s g–I mean the PAULING MED-POD, showing the text “EMERGENCY PROCEDURE”, and that it is “AWT VERBAL CMD”. The med-pod turns out to be a Weyland product, because all corporations in Alien movies are either Weyland, Yutani, or Seegson, if you’re particularly unlucky (cite 3). 

They made the mistake of putting more actual words on here, and so I’m squinting at the top right corner at “CARDIAC STRESS TEST”, “ELECTROCARDIOGRAPHY” AND “MECH ALGN TCH”, which means the pod appears to think she needs to have her heart checked or her wheels aligned.

But what I find funniest is that there’s coordinate sliders in the center bottom: X/Y/Z and U/W. You know where I recognize that from? 3D modeling. U/V/W are used as an alternate coordinate system in that context (cite 4). Somebody was designing this, thinking “well, we need more buttons. Where can I get more buttons?” and then looked at the horrid mass of options and sliders in their modeling software and realized they had the answer.

Overflow Ramble #2

A close-up of David’s hands, holding a sample container and placing Shaw’s necklace inside. Two details, one of them insane, the other just plain funny: First of all, this is a different set of hands than the one when David was messing with the black goo–there was a small but notable blemish on the fingerprint that wasn’t there, proving once again that hand and arm doubles are one of the odder things you don’t think about in film production.

Second: The container is turned so that the label on it is facing away. This allows you to see the necklace, but it also highlights a completely flat Braille label, reading “PN#ZTZouSthe#Z”, which is obviously very informative.

But the real reason why the label is facing away is because it almost hides the fact that the label says “PRODUCT CODE” on it, which means he may have just put Shaw’s necklace in an empty peanut butter jar.

⛬

(Previous) | (Index) | (Next)

⛬

[stellarred]

BEGINNINGS AND ENDINGS

"You matter to me"

"Even gods have favorites, Jean-Luc."

"And you have always been one of mine ."

I remember reading something about how writers can show emphasis by the words they use at the end of sentences.

I like how Q uses the following endings of the three lines he says:

1. me

2. Jean-Luc (The favorites line is a complete sentence in of itself.)

3. mine

Jean-Luc's name is sandwiched between me and mine. Nice.

***

I also like the association, or link Q creates by putting "favorites" before "Jean-Luc". Jean-Luc is therefore linked to favorites.

***

Finally, I appreciate the subtle associations the sentence beginnings have to their endings.

1. You + me

2. gods + Jean-Luc ("Even" is an adverb, but "gods" is a strong word choice and the subject of the sentence)

3. You + mine

You could say that Q is putting Jean-Luc, or elevating him to the plane of the gods. Funny thing is that this is true, as TNG writer and producer Ron D. Moore has said that Q wanted Picard to become a Q. Why was Q always pushing Picard to go beyond himself and beyond what he thought he was capable of? Love was a big reason, of course, but let's face it. Q has cosmic plans and goals for his beloved capitaine.

***

Finally, we have You and mine, and You and me.

So subtle, easily missed little pings in Q's word choices, but knowing Q and understanding his motivations, it makes sense that he connects he and Jean-Luc together.

Q doesn't say much, and yet he says and means a lot.

[seriouslycromulent]

Soooooo ... I just finished episode 6 of ST: Picard, season 3

... and can I just say ... How can anyone not love this season so far?!

No, seriously. If folks are complaining about Picard this season, I have to question whether or not they were ever fans of Star Trek, in general, and Star Trek: TNG, specifically.

Forgive me, but this is going to have some spoilers below. So if you haven't watched episode 6 yet, please keep scrolling.

...

Is it safe to squee?

...

OK.

Seriously, folks. I fangirled so hard throughout this entire episode, you would've thought I've never experienced joy before. It was that f*cking awesome!

Oh "The Bounty," how do I love thee? Let me count the ways:

(Almost) the entire TNG band getting back together again in one episode

The first appearance of Geordi LaForge looking all distinguished and sh*t

The younguns sneaking off to try and figure a way out of this mess while the parents argue and deliberate

Riker's "We're all gonna die" line

The trip down starship memory lane including a moment for Seven to reflect on what the USS Voyager meant to her

Me immediately recognizing the Bird of Prey from Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

The cameo by Daniel *motherf*ckin'* Davis as Professor Moriarty. Oh. My. God! I literally leapt out of my seat when I saw him appear on screen. That was such a beautiful gift. Michelle Forbes last week was an amazing, but bittersweet gift. But this. This was just a truly beautiful gift. Thank you to whomever made that happen.

Geordi still being a badass engineer even though he's all "play it safe Dad mode" now

The flashback to season 1 Riker for a quick recall of "Pop Goes The Weasel" which he somehow manages to recognize by the isolated keys on their own 30 years later

Brent Spiner cycling through all the "Data's" he's played over his career, and me immediately recognizing Lore before he even said his name

Amanda Plummer just killing it with the villainy. I'm here for all of it!

And that ending?!?! Oh. My. God. Come on. How are folks not loving this?!

See. I honestly don't get the folks who are complaining. I know a lot of us Trekkers are fully enjoying this, but for the ones who aren't ... Honey, I don't know what to tell you. This season has been so much more than I ever expected, and I'm in ... just ... pure bliss with this episode and this season overall.

And no. I'm not just watching this season alone. I loved Star Trek: Picard seasons 1 and 2 as well. So much so that I was sad when I heard they were only going to do one more season.

But oh boy! What a season to end it on.

I am in deep smit with this show. And just to be clear, I also love Star Trek: Discovery, Lower Decks, and Strange New Worlds. I even like Prodigy, even though I've only watched about halfway through the first season.

Yes, I'm one of those Trekkers who loves Trek with my whole chest, so it was unlikely that I wouldn't relish this final season of Picard. But I never expected to love it as much as I have so far.

At this point, I'll probably cry when the season finally ends, but that's OK. Because I'll just watch it all over again to experience this joy one more time.

[ensign-spider]

talkin star trek: picard here! ⚠️ s1 and s2 spoilies~ ⚠️

idc, i love the fan service. i'm never going to claim the series excels in writing but i'll be damned if i'm not having a fun time. when wesley crusher walked out as the traveler...like, i know that season had its rough parts. but how much fun did you have in this moment? i gasped and teared up. it was just really nice to see wheaton back.

and don't get me started on john de lancie and pstews final scene. i mean, i was ugly crying. i can see the two of them legitimately experiencing these feelings in their characters and themselves. this is the last time de lancie is playing Q, and it shows, and no amount of me being disappointed in rio's story will take away that feeling.

i don't think they should have shirked off the whole cast of characters they spent time showing us. if it means getting the gang back together for one more run...i dunno, maybe with picard i enjoy more the love letter it writes to fans than smart, hard hitting tv writing. it's fine with me.

and it doesn't ruin anything. if they made star trek picard the way anyone wanted, it just wouldn't be the same show. it allowed itself to not be tng. and it didn't hurt/ruin/destroy tng. that's still there, as it ever was and ever will be.

i totally understand expectations being low. i anticipate feeling anxious about how they're going to wrap up whatever series of plots they have unraveling. but also my Babes are Back, and imma be excited about that.

[fortheloveoflatinum]

Spoiler-Free Review of Star Trek: Picard - Season 3 (from what I've seen so far)

First of all, this is a spoiler-free review of Star Trek: Picard because I have no spoilers to give you! I haven't watched a single episode, but I do watch three to four of the 'Star Trek: Picard: Spoilers for Such and Such an Episode' videos that come up in my recommended feed every Thursday. So I haven't seen a whole lot of it, but let me tell you - I've seen enough.

There will be slight spoilers for earlier seasons of Picard; this could not be avoided.

Second of all, allow me to apologize in advance if you've liked ST: Picard from the start. Or at all. This is probably not the post for you. You've been warned. Now on to the review.

⭐️⭐️/5 (Two stars out of five)

Why? Let me tell you why.

I wanted so badly to like Star Trek: Picard. From day one, I mean, not just now that it's nearly finished and people are still in bed avoiding spoilers for the episode that aired today, which happens to be the penultimate episode if I'm correct, which I might not be because I haven't been following along that closely.

I wanted to like it so badly it hurt. It was one of the only Treks I hadn't watched, being new. And I loved TNG. BTW: there *will* indeed be TNG spoilers but you should be fine so long as you've paid the cable bill sometime in the last 30 years.

TNG was, as most of us agree, utterly amazing!

And that final episode. Where Picard goes to his officers, who are in the midst of a poker game - and they all look vaguely uncomfortable for a moment - and he asks to join them. They relax. Someone, probably Riker, pulls up a chair from him. And Picard looks around the table and he says, "I should have done this a long time ago."

And I was perfectly content to imagine them sailing off into the light of others days. I didn't want a sequel. Especially a sequel where Picard has learned nothing from that seminal moment in his existence. I now read the scene completely different.

The Jean-Luc of ST: Picard never went back to play poker with his crew. Or maybe he did, for a while, but slowly, he lost touch with his bridge crew. They were reassigned. First Worf, then others. And then he lost Data, too. He became bitter and angry and he doesn't even realize until Season 3 that he isn't alone. That he was never alone.

The Jean-Luc Picard I knew and loved from TNG learned that lesson in "All Good Things..." but the Jean-Luc Picard I've seen on my screen recently took three bloody seasons to even come to a modicum of his senses.

Now, there are several redeeming graces in this season. The character dynamics, for one, are very well-plotted and well-played. There's a lot of tension here, and it actually works, unlike in earlier seasons.

And no one can deny that we have a cast of stellar actors who in all likelihood deserved a better show to act out.

Ah, and the nostalgia~! I wasn't ready to watch my heroes grow up and grow old, but well, here we are.

But. And this is a big but. We were promised two things by Star Trek: Picard, by virtue of the very name. We were promised a Trek. And Trek is dark, at times. Trek can be grungy. Trek can grapple with the horrors of conquest and colonialism and cosmic villains. But it's not hopeless, and it doesn't rob the characters of their agency. There's always something that can be done. Some way to pick oneself up and power through. Hopeless is the antithesis of Trek. And a lack of hope is exactly what I see Star Trek: Picard. The entire world - no, the entire galaxy - has lost hope.

We were also promised 'Picard,' but the character we get is unrecognizable as such. He was a realist who used to live in a world of eternal optimism. Now, he's a pessimist who lives in a galaxy where people are afraid of the unknown, immortal cosmic entities can die, and 'the final frontier' has once more become that of the human mind, which is ultimately limited.

Star Trek: Picard boldly went where very few people wanted to see it travel. And it went not with a bang, but with a whimper.

[sepdet]

These are too new for a GenXer except Sailor Moon, so I'm gonna take you back — to 1991, the heyday of niche "lesbian slice of life" comic Dykes to Watch For.

That was also when @neil-gaiman gave us Sandman's trans Wanda and lesbian couple Hazel & Foxglove, as well as minor queer characters (plus the Endless) before them.

In 1991-92, Star Trek: The Next Generation made a couple of daring-for-the-time attempts to tackle LGBTQ+ issues by proxy. Both used Roddenberry's trick of dodging censors by "resolving" the situation in a way that leaves all but the more bigoted and oblivious viewers dissatisfied and pondering.

EG the Trill first appear in The Host (their look altered in DS9) in order to give Beverly a body-swapping love interest. It doesn't work out:

CRUSHER: Perhaps it is a human failing, but we are not accustomed to these kinds of changes. I can't keep up. How long will you have this host? What would the next one be? I can't live with that kind of uncertainty. Perhaps, someday, our ability to love won't be so limited.

KAREEL: I understand.

CRUSHER: Odan, I do love you. Please remember that.

(Kareel takes Beverly's hand and kisses her wrist)

KAREEL: I will never forget you.

(From Chrissy's transcripts. I had forgotten that Beverly doesn't say she feels differently now that he's a she, but that humans struggle with physical fluidity. I don't recall discussion of gender identity so much as "alternative sexualities" at the time, even in my queer-friendly college, but maybe that was my own ignorance.)

That kiss was Kind of a Big Deal, sold by McFadden's conflicted expression. Like the Kirk/Uhura kiss, it was enough to earn hate mail from scandalized viewers while others thought that's kind of hawt the lady doth protest too much "Oh come on, Bev!" and may have reexamined their own attitudes.

TNG tried again with the clunky 1992 story, "The Outcast," featuring a species that's done away with concepts of gender and finds them sexually deviant. Of course, Riker's love interest self-identifies as female, which puts her in danger from her race's legal system and bigotry in ways he doesn't fully comprehend.)

Note that TNG was often the first LGBTQ+ rep our parents saw, with us watching them.

Meanwhile, fansubs of 1987-88 Vampire Princess Miyu (both male and female queer characters) were trickling in from overseas. And I only just realized that behind the Japanese mythology, Miyu was reimagining Hollywood's classic Lesbian Vampire trope. 😅)

In 1989, Doctor Who kept giving Ace a Captain Kirk style "girlfriend of the week," but it wasn't clear the production team knew that's what they were doing. The writer of the final story confirmed she absolutely did do it on purpose — and she made Ace's girlfriend a furry! However, she had to sneak it past the censors via hints and coding.

It wasn't until Revolutionary Girl Utena (1996-1998, fansubs trickling across by 1999) that I saw the real deal: a star-crossed lesbian romance (and every kind of AO3 warning and ship).

That said, we all knew in the mid-90s that Xena and Gabrielle were a couple — it wasn't so much queerbaiting as censor-baiting ("What transparently flimsy plot justification can we use so they'll let us get away with THIS?")

So I nominate Xena/Gabi for the "HOW COULD YOU FORGET?" option.

[thegreaterlink]

Reviewing Star Trek TNG - S1E12 “Datalore”

THE PREMISE

While en route to a Starbase for maintenance, the Enterprise arrives at the planet Omicron Theta, once the site of a colony where the Starship Tripoli originally discovered Data. While exploring the lab of Data's creator, Dr. Noonien Soong, the crew discovers a disassembled android nearly identical to Data and reassemble him back at the ship. He introduces himself as Lore.

However, while Lore feigns naiveté to Picard and the crew, it becomes clear that he's more intelligent than he seems...

MY REVIEW

Despite Data and Lore looking almost identical, Brent Spiner does an excellent job at making them feel like two distinct characters through more than just their clothes. A clever use of camerawork, body doubles and split-screen effects even allows both characters to seamlessly occupy the same scene and hold a conversation.

As for Lore as a character, he's a superior model to Data built before him, to the point where Dr Soong deliberately dialled back some of his qualities when designing Data. His firmer grasp on humanity and emotions (even using contractions in his speech) make him a perfect foil for Data, and he proves his effectiveness as an antagonist by deactivating Data (making use of an off switch which they both have) and stealing his uniform to take his place.

And who is it to notice the difference and figure out what's happened? None other than... Wesley Crusher. Okay, to give credit where it's due, Wesley immediately noticing Lore using contractions in his speech is impressive... but when Captain Picard ignores him, Wesley points out that he'd be taken seriously if he was an adult.

This leads to Picard's famous line, "Shut up Wesley!" A phrase which Wil Wheaton is understandably so sick of hearing that sending it to him on Twitter (I know he shut down his account in 2018) was once enough to get you instantly blocked. Even his own mother says it (by which I mean Dr Crusher, not Wil Wheaton's actual mother), which admittedly feels a bit out of character for her.

And look, I’ll never turn down the chance for some good-natured Wesley bashing, but this particular instance strikes me as just unfair. Picard assigns Wesley as an Acting Ensign on the bridge because he values his judgement and knowledge, but when Wesley expresses his concerns, Picard immediately shuts him down and even orders him off the bridge. Can you imagine Picard treating Worf or Riker like that? No, you can’t. Don’t even try.

Anyway, Lore shares the common disliking of Wesley, dismissing him as a child and giving us my favourite line in the episode and one which I will quote whenever possible: "Are you prepared for the kind of death you've earned, little man?"

At the episode's climax, we find out Lore's true intentions: it turns out that he was responsible for drawing in the crystalline space entity (that's what they call it in the episode - it never gets a proper name) which wiped out the colony, and he plans to let it devour the entire Enterprise crew. For such an interesting character, such a motivation is a bit disappointing, to be honest.

After a fun brawl between Data and Lore where the two get to display their superior strength by throwing some clearly-empty barrels at each other, Lore is beamed out into space and the entity leaves. Yep. It just leaves. We're told it gave up because Lore was its only way of accessing the ship's crew, but for it to just leave without any further issue is very anticlimactic. It feels like the writers were just looking for an easy way to wrap up the episode.

Speaking of writers, this episode served as the final Star Trek script credit for franchise creator Gene Roddenberry, who co-wrote it with Robert Lewin. I'm glad he was able to go out on a high note.

Also, I must give credit to this episode's excellent music, courtesy of Ron Jones, who would compose music for the first four seasons of TNG. I look forward to hearing more of his work going forward. You can find his music for this episode in volume 2 of his album release "The Ron Jones Project."

7/10 - Could’ve been an 8 if some of the writing had been a bit stronger, but still a solid episode regardless.

Previous Episode | TNG Masterpost | Next Episode

[daemon-404]

👉 Daemon/Zephyr

👉 they/them

👉 Art blog: @daemon-doodles

👉 I don't do background checks on the people I reblog from! Please do not assume I agree with the person in question, just the post itself!

👉 DNI if TERF/radfem, MAP/NOMAP/etc, incest/pedophilia shipper, AI "art" defender, truly believe fiction doesn't affect reality, likely to say "I'm not racist/homophobic (etc) but", and anyone in that genre.

👉 Sorting Tags Under the Cut (buckle up, this is a long one)

Tagging Conventions:

- Pairings are written with each character's name and a "&" between them, with no spaces (e.g. #zelda&link, #b'elanna&tom&harry).

- Some relationship tags (ship or not) have titles attached to them (e.g. #the twilight princesses // midna&zelda, #the noceda kids // luz and vee and hunter).

- I use common acronyms/short versions for fandoms, like "tloz," "voy," etc. If a LoZ game's acronym is less than 4 letters, it'll have "tloz" in front, like "#tloz oot", "#tloz ww", etc, except for #4s.

This will all be covered in the corresponding individual sections as well, don't worry. Ok, onto specifics...

(this isn't even all of them)

Fandom & Lore Tags:

• #moimois (fandom related memes. this is what French people call memes on r/rance)

Star Trek:

• #star trek

- #best st

- #tng

- #the next gen's enterprise crew

- #the next gen boys (Worf, Riker, Data, Geordi)

- #voy

- #the voyager crew

+ other ST series tags (#tos, #aos...).

UT/DR:

• #utdr

- #undertale

- #deltarune

These tags are complimentary with #utdr for precision.

- #deltaspooks (DELTARUNE lore)

- #saltspooks (Salt Route AU lore)

- #DR friendship

- #UT friendship

... the latter are usually under #[ˈfɹɛndˌʃɪp] as well.

- #funny bigshot man

- #spamton (the more serious stuff)

- #gaster's emo band (jevil, spamton and gaster)

- #Official DELTARUNE Lore ™ (silly lore bits or theories that make sense)

Minecraft:

• #minecraft

• #Enhancement Table (formerly "Minecraft lore pun". i finally got a good name!)

The Legend of Zelda:

• #tloz

- #botw

- #botw incorrect quotes

- #best botw incorrect quotes

- #perfect botw (ideas for my ideal botw mod)

- #the hyrulean count (i fucking counted every npc- just in the settlements though- before realizing there are tons of even more compete lists online)

+ other game tags (#alttp, #hwaoc, etc). If the game's acronym that I use is shorter than 4 letters, it'll come after "tloz" (#tloz oot, #tloz tp, etc.) EXCEPT for #4s.

I have yet to go through every Zelda tag I have and put "#tloz" on each post so they're not all under this tag.

• #hyruleculture (loz lore/worldbuilding)

- #hylia's work (the best of the best in loz worldbuilding)

• #linked universe

- #lu dudes (just the LU guys in general)

• #i'm a disastor & #disastorous (anything Astor HWAoC)

Other:

• #aceattorney (I'm noting this one in particular because it's the only one I still use from back when I didn't put spaces in my tags)

• #Black Swan Archives (KotLC lore because i used to read that series when i was younger and i'm still a big fan okay? sue me)

Other fandom tags will just be the acronym or name.

AU Tags:

- #tloz au

- #modernzelda

- #botw au/#totk au

- #swap au (this one is all encompassing; could be a personality swap, a role swap, a gender swap, etc; can be any fandom)

Relationship Tags:

• #/'fæməlɪ/ (familial- including found-familial- interactions)

• #[ˈfɹɛndˌʃɪp] (quality friend interactions)

• #domestic romance best romance

• ToH:

These ones in particular have very clever little nicknames with them (I stole them from other people).

- #sworn siblings // luz and hunter

- #the twins // luz and vee

- #the noceda kids // luz and vee and hunter

- #the clawthorne kids // luz and king

There's also:

- #the owl house kids

- #the owl house parents

for group content. The pairings are all the normal format with no nicknames.

• Pairings:

Format: [name]&[name]. "[] and []" is just for general relationships, like on ao3 with the difference between "[]/[]" and "[] & []".

The following are pairings with specifics:

- #zelda&link (BotW ZeLink only)

- #post calamity

- #pre calamity

- #got the botw energy right (not entirely zelink some of it is just the botw experience, but since so many people characterize zelda and link wrong in botw, it's used to sort out the best of the best)

- #link&zelda (every other ZeLink)

- #zelink place of honor

- #link&sheik (for when Sheik is separate from Zelda. Or trans. Or both)

- #midna&zelda // the twilight princesses

- #midna&zelda&link // the tp ot3

Other pairing tags just follow the format "[]&[]".

General Tags:

Art:

• #artandartists

- #arttips

- #insp

- #style insp

- #color insp

- #lighting insp

- #ref

• #ficsandwriters

Good Feels:

• #pieces of humanity (it's about the love)

• #people being people (people never really change. it's about the necessity of getting a little silly with it)

• #hope

• #happy

"Saved":

• #saved (general posts, I usually just put this on everything)

- #super saved

- #ultra saved

- #saved as hell

- #saved. (i have an emotional reaction to these)

- #Dave (non-fandom-related memes)

- #minenow (the OG #saved)

• #sacred (important parts of the internet)

• #posts of all time

• #posts with a certain feel to them (the feeling is the one you get when faced with something bigger than you)

Other:

• #important

- #important.

• #2: electric boogaloo (an update to a post i've made or, more likely, reblogged)

• #a good laugh ™

-#lol_irl (fittingly, things that make me laugh out loud, in real life)

• #blorbo from my...

...fanon (BotW/AoC Ganondorf)

...youtube ♥️ (that's Jarvis Johnson. don't ask)

• #old & #doodles are from back when this was my presentable account

Tumblr:

• #the tumblr experience

• #certified tumblr special

- #tumblr special ™

- #tumblr history

- #tumblr ogs

- #tumblr dictionary (blorbo, eeby deeby, etc.)

- #tumblr book club (dracula daily)

- #the horse plinko sensation

- #live slug reaction (sitewide memes like goncharov and mole interest for example- and posts related to the memes and so forth- like this are just named in the tags, you can find them pretty easily)

Media Tags:

• #gif

- #gifset

• #video

Keep in mind there are probably 10 000 other tags not mentioned here. Thank you!

last edited sep 16 2023

[reginaldqueribundus]

I posted 2,372 times in 2021

598 posts created (25%)

1774 posts reblogged (75%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 3.0 posts.

I added 2,111 tags in 2021

#star trek - 666 posts

#a samuel post™ - 576 posts

#star trek ds9 - 211 posts

#one piece - 136 posts

#this blue hellsite - 127 posts

#oh what a stupid post i have made - 90 posts

#star trek tng - 86 posts

#lol - 80 posts

#tumblr - 75 posts

#star wars - 64 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#it wasn’t his obsidian order implant it was the aggravation of having to watch quark mix horizonal stripes with leopard print day after day

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

One of my all-time favourite Star Trek TNG scenes is when Lal kisses Riker. It’s easy to miss but at the beginning they mention Riker is on leave. So the poor guy has no clue what’s going on. Imagine being William Thomas Riker in that situation. You take some time off work, you come back and pop by Ten Forward for some refreshment and social engagement and as soon as you walk in a young woman you’ve never seen before who’s working behind the bar grabs you with the strength of 20 Nausicaan powerlifters and sticks her tongue down your throat. Then your unmarried, unattached, childless robot coworker (who’s around the same age as you and definitely did not have kids when you left) walks up and announces this grown-ass lady is his daughter and demands to know your “intentions” toward her like he just tumbled out of a sitcom from Earth’s 20th century. You can’t blame Riker for being flustered.

1842 notes • Posted 2021-02-02 17:05:18 GMT

#4

Things about One Piece that crack me tf up

not one single character has worn an eyepatch in over 20 years of this 1,000+ chapter pirate manga

there's like… laser guns and cyborgs and CCTV but everyone's still using sailboats to get around (with square sails no less)

there are canonically three different kinds of furries

Luffy hangs around all day with the only person in the world who knows where the Death Star is, but he doesn't give a shit

Eiichiro Oda has spent more than half of his life so far writing and drawing One Piece. at age 22 he created his first ever manga series and it became the bestselling comic book in history and when it finally ends he can probably just retire

Oda planned One Piece would last about five years. This was in 1997

Oda just casually confirming his universe has SECRET ANCIENT MOON CIVILIZATIONS with ROBOT ARMIES and FUCKING SPACE PIRATES, and possibly ACTUAL ALIENS… in a fucking chapter cover story. And then never mentioning it again for 14 actual real-world years

eat a devil fruit. is it the one that makes you a godlike indestructible force of nature, or the one that makes you a rubber band who can't swim? welp

Sengoku is one of the most serious characters in the whole series, he runs the military, but he has a giant stupid afro and a pet goat that follows him everywhere and he can turn into a giant buddha with an even bigger afro

Chopper was just vibing as an animal and then one day he ate a weird fruit and woke up with self-awareness and hopes and dreams and anxiety and now he has a medical degree? the reindeer, he walks like a man

Dr. Hiliruk is basically one of those hippie moms who tries to cure measles with essential oils and shit but he's also one of the most heroic characters in the entire series

it's one of the goofiest wackiest manga out there but when you look closely the setting is actually a morally grey hellworld mostly run by a corrupt government built on secrets and lies which only exists to support cartoonishly evil aristocrats who live on a mountain beating slaves all day, and the rest is either lawless wastelands or controlled by 10 foot tall invincible psychopaths who could easily take over the rest of the world if they didn't all hate each other

the Celestial Dragons commit horrific atrocities every 0.001 seconds but they all dress like fucking idiots and have Dr. Seuss haircuts

there's a guy named Dragon who has dedicated his life to destroying them

Luffy meets people and goes "you're my friend now" and they have like no choice in the matter

Luffy: I'm not a hero! also Luffy: I will not rest until I crush this cruel tyrant who is taking food away from little kids

his grandpa is a world-famous war hero and his dad is trying to overthrow the entire government but Luffy doesn't even care

characters will show up and be like "I'm an 800-year-old time traveler from a lost period of history" and the story is like "that's neat. time for fifty pages of men crying"

Buggy the stupid fucking circus clown with blue hair and a flying penis, who spent his formative years with the literal greatest pirate in the entire world and yet somehow completely sucks shit, has more screen time than the main character's mentor and beloved elder brother combined. love it.

now that Jinbe has joined the crew Robin finally has another person with more than one brain cell to talk to

Brook became a global rockstar while being a skeleton and his fans just rolled with it

the Marines show up at his concert and accuse him of being a random pirate from 50 years ago and he's like "yes I am that pirate and I'm quitting the music gig to go back to being a pirate, also I work for the guy at the top of your shit list!"

2170 notes • Posted 2021-08-12 21:30:48 GMT

#3

Hello and welcome to Deep Space Nine. We are a space station, not a starship, so you’ll be spending a lot of time with all these delightful side characters like: bisexual fashion lizard. hologram of Frank Sinatra. goblins. goblin comes in 3 varieties: bartender, nephew, and idiot. our doctor is a twink, our commander is antifa and the captain talks to the gods sometimes. our policeman is sometimes a liquid and the science lady is part worm. we have many fine storylines, such as: Goblin Does A Crime, Watch The Irishman Suffer, or The Horrors Of War. As you stroll along our promenade enjoying a raktajino or delicious jumja stick, watch out for our nefarious villains: Pope Karen. clones of Jeffrey Combs. and a horny bastard reptile man who seems convinced this is actually his show. we suspect he may be possessed by demons. Have fun!

Deep Space Nine: now with Worf™!

5821 notes • Posted 2021-04-24 23:20:52 GMT

#2

Keanu Reeves’s career is so funny to me. Like these are the movies he’s famous for:

Himbos save the universe

FBI undercover surfer man

Bus go boom if drive too slow

Reality is a hologram and this guy is the Messiah or something, he knows kung fu

Man loses wife, dog, murders literally everyone

9995 notes • Posted 2021-04-30 22:08:41 GMT

#1

I feel like nobody talks about this but remember Jay’s “job interview” in the original Men in Black movie? Sure, they play it for comedy, he’s a smartass cop surrounded by all these elite military graduates. But he was also literally the only one in the room smart enough to bring the table over so he had something to write on. And he offers it to the other guys too!

And in the shooting test, on the surface it just seems like a goofy joke when he shoots the little girl cutout in the head, but look at the way he responded to the situation.

The test starts immediately without any warning, we can see that everyone is caught off guard. The other candidates immediately open fire on what they perceive to be threats, but Jay takes a second to assess the situation. He sees he isn’t in any immediate danger, and in a handful of seconds he’s able to scope out several minor details about the targets and hit one with a near-perfect headshot. Jay showed he was an innovative, quick thinker with situational awareness, attention to detail and high-level marksmanship skills, and they never say it outright but I think that’s probably why Zed picked him. (Zed never actually says anything negative about Jay’s performance, just that he has a problem with authority.)

This is highly underrated writing but, then again, this is also the movie where Tommy Lee Jones says “A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago, everybody knew Earth was the centre of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat and 15 minutes ago, you knew humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you’ll know tomorrow.”

28670 notes • Posted 2021-06-12 01:59:20 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[cinema-tv-etc]

Why Galaxy Quest is the Greatest Star Trek Movie Ever

 August 15, 2013 by The Almighty Bear

Yeah, I can imagine what you’re thinking. Some of you just stopped reading at the title because a) you totally agree with me and feel no pressing need to be convinced, b) my words are blasphemous and to read them is to spit in the face of all that is good and righteous and pure in the universe. But this article isn’t for them, my friends. This article is for you.

For those of you who do not know, Galaxy Quest was a movie that came out in late 1999, starring Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Alan Rickman, Tony Shalhoub, Sam Rockwell and a young Justin Long (it was, in fact, his first movie). It was intended to be a spoof of the older Star Trek Movies (Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, and Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country) and the emergent Star Trek: The Next Generation movies, of which three of the four were out. (Star Trek: Generations, Star Trek: First Contact, Star Trek: Insurrection, followed by the last of the TNG feature films, Nemesis in 2002. Bear in mind, I don’t know this crap off the top of my head, IMDB is my friend.)

Honestly, the IMDB elevator pitch for the movie describes it reasonably well without spoiling anything: “The alumni cast of a cult space TV show have to play their roles as the real thing when an alien race needs their help.”

So where do I get off making the claim that Galaxy Quest is the greatest Star Trek movie ever? Well, let me tell you.

I grew up watching Star Trek: The Next Generation with my dad, who watched Star Trek: The Original Series with his dad. As a kid watching the show, I used to dream about what it would be like to be on board a starship, and wish on every ball of burning gas, billions of miles away that Captain Picard would order the Enterprise NCC-1701-D (now that I did know off the top of my head) back to the 20th century (which it still was at that point) and pick me up for an adventure. Apparently I wasn’t alone in that, because some dude wrote a story and a screenplay about it! (That dude was David Howard, FYI.)

So some of my declaration is based on some elements of nostalgia, but it is far more than that. The movie has all the elements of a great Star Trek episode: Humor, drama, action, character growth, a beginning, middle and an end. And, because the movie was an original story with non-established characters based loosely on existing personalities, there was no previous canon for it to live up to, and no angry nerds to nitpick any discontinuity with said nonexistent canon.

In the end, Galaxy Quest is much more like an homage to Star Trek than a spoof of that intellectual property, but unlike most Star Trek movies, it came with all the great moments and without any disappointments.

THAT is why Galaxy Quest is the greatest Star Trek movie ever. Also? Sky High is the greatest superhero movie ever.

http://www.nerdglaze.com/2013/08/15/why-galaxy-quest-is-the-greatest-star-trek-movie-ever-now-with-fewer-spoilers/