#also dave's voice is literally just so smooth and beautiful

[theskymahtin]

I am CONSTANTLY thinking about Dave Bayley's cover of Young and Beautiful....... him singing these lines:

is a religious experience

Just hearing a man singing those words (about another man) gives them a whole new meaning and it's so BEAUTIFUL and MOVING.

It is about the homoerotism!!! It's about the heartache of growing up gay in a traditional Christian household................

(this is the cover on spotify and on youtube for anyone who wants to hear)

[jetaime-jespere]

Prompt #36/129

#36: I don’t know who I am without you / #129. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.

It isn’t the first time Aaron comes to see her with flowers in hand, and it doesn’t make visiting her grave any easier, or any less painful.

Flowers became a thing early on, starting with their first date several months before. Aaron had been anxious in the hours leading up to it - distracted all day, letting his eyes linger on her a few seconds too long here and there. It’s clear something was up. He assumed Dave must have overheard him confirming with Jessica about picking Jack up from his playdate, and that he’ll pick him up from her place around nine. All day he’d dodged the carefully timed stares, a few subtle winks whenever Emily’s back was turned.

“Got a date?” Dave asked casually on their way out, much later that afternoon, keeping his eyes forward as the elevator doors closed. But he’d smiled, which suggests he definitely overheard, and has all but figured out why Aaron is leaving so uncharacteristically early.

Aaron plays dumb, scrambling for an excuse for his early departure, and manages something out about a friend being in town. Dave had simply laughed. “Emily likes flowers,” he’d said as Aaron held his briefcase with a slightly sweaty hand. “I hope you picked some out.”

The quirk of an eyebrow, and the amusement hidden in the subtle contours of Aaron’s face all but give him away, the exact reason now known. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dave.” It’s an attempt in vain.

“But you do, and before you even ask how, just know I have my ways.”

Aaron had never been happier to see elevator doors open. What he doesn’t tell Dave is that he’s had flowers figured out already, for a few days now.

He remembers that night - their first date - like it was yesterday; it’s never fully dissipated from his mind. She’d been wearing blue - cerulean, to be specific - and she blushed ever so slightly when he handed her the bouquet of Dahlias and told her she looked beautiful.

Their reservation (at a Tapas bar close to the National Mall) had mysteriously gotten deleted, leaving them without a table only after they arrived at the restaurant. Emily had laughed despite Aaron’s visible frustration, taking the whole thing in stride as she tucked her hand in his arm. Instead, they ended up walking around the Monuments and eating street tacos from a food truck wrapped in heavy coats. Despite the cold, it was light, fun, and as he dropped her off in front of her building, he’d kissed her - brief, but full, his lips on hers a promise of a second date sooner rather than later.

There was indeed a second date; this one to an antique bookstore in Alexandria followed by coffee on a chilly Sunday morning. The threat of snow later that afternoon hadn’t deterred them. Aaron brings her flowers again - lilies - and she’d held them to her nose for the briefest of seconds as the blush rose to her cheeks once more. The second date was three weeks after the first, thanks to a barrage of cases that seemed to multiply, one right after the other, at a relentless rate with little time for anything else, let alone any semblance of a personal life.  And yet, they picked up right where they left off, the same easy banter and familiarity that comes with years of knowing someone as well as they do. He kisses her again, this time bringing a hand to her hair and another around her back, pulling her in close. It’s not even a question if there will be a third date when they pull away, breathless.

Their third date was Valentine’s Day, and she’d come to his place for the first time in over a year, since the days after Foyet threatened to rip his family apart. Aaron bought roses - two dozen red ones - as cliché as it was, handing them to her when she’d arrived. She’d beamed as she shook the light dusting of snowflakes off her shoulders, apologizing for her lateness, murmuring that the flowers were beautiful. He’d planned on making her dinner but instead he’d taken her to bed, leaving their clothes scattered across the living room floor. Emily was beautiful beneath him; her long legs wrapped around his waist as he’d learned her, taking his time finding all the places that made her moan. Her fingers tangled in his hair when he’d kissed his way down the flat planes of her stomach and between her legs, her hands gripped his shoulders as he thrusted into her, she’d lowered herself down to press her chest against his, his arms wrapped around her as she rode him to completion with his own finish coming in the seconds after her own.

Aaron also ruined their dinner during their preoccupation - overcooked the steak and burnt the potatoes to a blackened crisp, rendering it all inedible. With a sheet wrapped around her chest, Emily had reached for her phone and ordered pizza, which they ate in bed straight out of the box. “The best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had,” she’d whispered in his ear much later, her lips smoothing down his jaw as she pushed him onto his back, a devious grin on her face. Hours later, he repeated her words right back to her, pressing kisses to her lips.

It all fell apart shortly after that.

Date number four was cruelly ripped right out of their hands as Emily slipped away, literally and figuratively, the threat of Ian Doyle becoming a reality. She’d withdrawn, becoming distant and even secretive, slipping into briefings late and sneaking clandestine glances at her phone throughout the day. Aaron had been oblivious to the truth (she hid that from all of them), but he knew something was direly wrong.

Two weeks after she cancelled their fourth date with a heaviness in her voice that culminated over the last few weeks, he heard the name Lauren Reynolds for the first time. And about ten days after that, he signed the paperwork that essentially rendered Emily Prentiss dead.

So now, Aaron always brings her flowers. It feels wrong not to, because he always has. This time he brings Irises; Emily likes those. She told him that once, back when he hung on every word she said, his brain absorbing every last detail of her to commit to memory. Now those memories come back and haunt him like a curse. The car door slams but he doesn’t hear it, and he adjusts the hood of his jacket and tucks his keys into his pocket. He keeps his head down, grateful for the soft rain that falls in the summer wind like a whisper as he maneuvers through the gate, stepping over the neat landscaping. Every step he takes brings him closer to her yet she’s never been further away from him, and he finally releases the breath he’s been holding when he sits down next to her headstone.

“Hi,” Aaron says softly, fumbling with the stems in his hands as he sets them down beside the ones he’d brought the other day, brushing his fingers over the cold marble headstone. “I miss you, you know. I’m sorry it’s been a few days. It was a hell of a week.” Being here is a familiar ritual, one that brings him an unexplainable bit of comfort and yet a profound sense of grief. It’s been four months since they buried an empty casket into the ground as she convalesced in the hospital. Four months since he explained to Jack with as much patience as he could muster that Emily had to go away for awhile, possibly forever, and calmly answered his son’s questions even as his own heart was shattering into pieces.

Aaron supposes it feels mildly silly, talking to someone who isn’t even there, spiritually or whatever, because what most don’t know is she’s not even dead.

She may as well be. Those were her words, not his. It’s what she said in the days after Boston, still too weak to travel but awake and fully cognizant, the impending reality looming in the distance. Aaron had sat at her side, as close as he could get without physically climbing into the bed with her, his hand a fixture in hers for the better part of the two weeks she’d spent there.

“These nurses are like drill sergeants,” Emily had groaned one afternoon after she’d taken a few laps around the floor, pushing a walker with Aaron hovering at her side, a protective hand on her back. It took nearly all of her energy; her eyelids had fluttered within minutes of returning to her bed.

“They’re supposed to help you get better, you know.” And while he can’t help but feel proud of her for how far she’s come, her returning strength is a reminder that soon enough she’ll vanish from their lives, unceremoniously, as if she never existed at all.

Her grave is the only place he feels close to her, as if she, wherever she is, might be there in some way too. It’s where Aaron talks to her, tells her the mundane things about life - the life that has seemingly paused since she left- anecdotes about Jack’s soccer team, Dave’s new car, every now and then he’ll mention a case. Sometimes it’s a haze of confusion, asking the questions he most likely will never get answers to, his voice breaking at the most simple, yet complicated of them all. Why? How?

Other days, it’s grief that courses through his veins and clouds his heart, like a vice grip around his windpipe that makes every intake of breath more painful than the last. They all feel her absence; a numbness has enveloped them all in the last couple of weeks especially. But he bears the pain of knowing the truth and being responsible for the secret they’ve held to keep her safe. Today is one of those days.

“I wish I could be angry with you,” he says, never taking his eyes off the headstone. “For what you put us through.” He’s tried that. Anger never lasts long, because Aaron sees her face in his mind, full of poorly concealed fear as he and JJ had passed over the dossier of new identities into her hands, signifying the beginning of the end.

“Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you,” Aaron chokes through the mounting thickness in his throat. “It’s not the same without you. Nothing is.” His face is wet, and it’s not because of the rain. Most of his visits end this way, and he takes the long way back home to pull himself together. “We miss you. I miss you.”

It’s getting harder to breathe, harder to conceal the sobs that are coming like the stormcloud in the distance, and he buries his face in his hands to cry because there’s nothing left he can do. “I don’t know who I am without you, Emily.”

There’s a rustling in the trees behind him sometime later. If he closes his eyes he can almost hear her footsteps behind him, sure and steady. Aaron can’t bring himself to turn around because she won’t be there - she’s already gone.

“I love you,” he whispers, knowing he should have said it a long time ago.

[strangestdiary]

Light My Fire | Klaus Hargreeves

Relationship: Klaus/Reader 

Summary: Being back in the 1960s was a lot more comfortable the second time around Klaus comes to realize. 

Words: 2.3k

Warnings: Mentions of drugs and alcohol, light angst??, fluff, not going with canon of season 2 obviously 

A/N: Uh oh what’s this? Part 2 is possible. This was totally unprompted and I just really wanted to write it so here it is!

Also should I make a tag list? Let me know.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

---

It wasn’t hard to realize what exactly he was doing down here, rifling through your recently stocked cabinets for some alcohol as he muttered to himself. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself while watching him clumsily push some bottles aside, swearing when one or two is about to fall off the shelf.

He backed away from your cabinet with a giddy smile on his face, kissing the neck of a half empty cherry smirnoff bottle. He unscrewed the cap and wiggled his hips a little before raising the bottle to his lips. He was slow to turn around but once he finally did he gasped followed by watery choking and clutching his chest in surprise. 

“Jesus Christ!” He shouted “How long have you been standing there?” 

A smirk found its way to your lips at his reaction. You shrugged, pushing yourself off the entrance of your family bar. “Long enough to watch you raid my alcohol and almost cost me a whole shelf of drinks that would be very expensive to replace.” You shot a playful glare at him and brushed past him to latch the shutter doors closed once again. 

It had been a few months since Klaus landed in your life in a very unceremonious fashion, quite literally landing on top of you in your bed after being spit out by a bright blue light just below your ceiling. You still had a small bump from where he accidentally elbowed your jaw when falling. 

At first you had convinced yourself it was an all too realistic dream produced from the weed you had smoked a little too much of earlier that night. That idea was pushed out of the window the day after when you woke up and the strange man was still in your room, laying in your silk hammock that was nailed up in the corner of your room. 

You both had gotten to know each other in the small amount of time you’ve known each other though, you had taken him to meet your friends who were all too enthusiastic to embrace a newcomer. He fit in well with them though, the smoking circles becoming more lively with him around and the conversations being the most entertaining talks you’ve had in your life. 

He was a curious but wonderful change to your life, and to say you were attracted to him was an understatement. 

Klaus hadn’t opened up to you that much about his past, but there were moments where he would let his walls drop just for a second. Sometimes an offhand comment about a sibling or sometimes indulging you in how exactly he got here in the first place. Everything he provided just sounded like some made up story he had spun for your entertainment. Especially when he would joke about being from the future. 

Klaus may not be the strangest person you had met but he was up there for sure. 

“Are you doing anything tomorrow night?” You asked, leaning back against the shutter cabinets he had been practically inside of just minutes ago. Klaus watched you curiously raising a brow with a gleam in his beautiful emerald eyes. 

He leaned against the bar idly with a smile playing on his lips “It depends on what you have in mind.” He brought the smirnoff back up to his lips, barely even reacting as the harsh alcohol burned its way down his throat. 

Pushing off the cabinets softly you walked up to him in three strides, a smile of your own threatening to break through “Marry and her girlfriend are hosting a get together in the woods behind their trailer, the usual smoking circle and maybe something else.” You felt him tug aimlessly on the black piano shawl wrapped around your shoulders. “There’s also someone I want you to meet too.” You said just above a whisper, your faces inching closer and closer by the second. 

“Yeah and who’s that?” His smile was breathtaking, his hands coming to rest on your waist. 

“His name’s Dave.” You whispered your lips just about to touch his. Klaus tenses up at the name, his fingers clenching against your waist, his eyes were wide and he was frozen in place. You backed off by an inch or two staring at him curiously “What’s wrong?” 

Klaus shook himself out of his shocked state long enough to look into your eyes, his mind reeling. “Did you- did you just say his name was Dave?” 

You nodded slowly confused why he was so bent up over this so suddenly, “Yeah he’s back home from bootcamp for a few months.” You detach yourself from Klaus to take a step back and look at him fully “He’s one of my closest friends and we kinda had a thing for a while before he left.” You play with your shawl idly trying to find the right words “I would have said something before but it’s hard talking about him without getting myself all worked up.” You chuckled to yourself before bringing a hand up to cup Klaus’ face in your hand, the stubble on his face scratching against your palm slightly. 

“We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” You whispered studying his face, emotions clouding his eyes. He shook his head against your palm before smiling, taking your hand in his. 

“No I wanna go. I just... I don’t know.” This was the most speechless you had ever seen Klaus in your short time of knowing him. Usually he was jumping at the opportunity to join you and your friends. You remembered that one time when you both got drunk and he told you that he hadn’t felt this wanted and included since being with his ex, he never elaborated more than that though and you never pushed him to tell you. 

“Do you have any pictures of him?” He asked after a few quiet seconds. You nodded with a smile tugging him by the hand to the stairs that led up to your apartment above the bar. 

Once in your living room you walk over to the coffee table, sliding one of the drawers out you grab the thick velvety photo album that has all of your pictures with your friends and you. You sat back onto the couch and pat the space beside you, Klaus didn’t hesitate to sit himself down. You flipped through a few pages before finally landing on the page you were looking for, you smiled to yourself as you picked up your favorite photo. 

It was you and Dave sitting on the same couch you and Klaus were on, Dave’s arm slung over your shoulder laughing at some stupid joke you had told him. You remembered that day so clearly even after getting arguably a little too high, it was the day after high school graduation and you were both practically attached at the hip back then. 

You didn’t even notice you were crying until Klaus’ thumb was smoothing over your cheek. You chuckled weakly muttering a weak apology “It’s been too long since I’ve looked at these.” You said with a fond smile looking up at Klaus. He was staring at you with his own unshed tears. “Are you okay?” He nodded before looking back down at the photo still in your hand. 

“Do you have any more?” The adoration in his eyes was hard to miss when he looked at the picture, you almost wondered if he knew Dave... but that was impossible Dave would have told you about Klaus in some way or another. 

You decided to indulge Klaus and went through the rest of the album, a few more tears being shed by you as you retold the stories behind some of them. Once you were done and closed the photo album Klaus stood from the couch and put his hand out for you now. 

“I have something to show you.” His voice was somewhat strained but you decided not to question him on it. 

He led you to the spare room you had let Klaus sleep in while he tried to get his feet back under him. You stood next to his bed watching him go through the nightstand drawer before sighing to himself and standing. You looked curiously at the dogtags he held carefully in his hand. 

“Promise me you won’t freak out okay?” The skeptical look you gave him made him heave a sigh again, he grabbed your hand and urged you to sit down on the bed, your knees touching as you faced each other. “I know I told you about a boyfriend I had but I never really went into it for... well for reasons, but when you showed me those pictures I knew I couldn’t keep this from you.” You noticed his hands were shaking, the metal dog tags clanging against each other. “I need you to hear me out okay?” He looked at you hopefully, you urged him to go on with your hand “And I mean really hear me out even if it sounds so out of this world. I promise you I would never lie about this.” You couldn’t help but notice how his voice was trembling as well. 

You placed a hand on his bicep in hopes to help him calm down “Hey it’s okay. I’m listening to you Klaus. I mean, you fell on me from some blue portal thing above my bed. It'll be hard not to believe you about something you’re this worked up over.” You assured, a smile making its way to both of your faces. 

He took a deep breath before launching into a story about how he was never joking when telling you about him being from the future. How he had accidentally landed himself in the middle of the Vietnam War for ten months and how he had fallen in love with someone along the way. He hadn’t given you the name of the man he fell for but you had a wild guess of who he might be talking about. Everything he described this man to be reminded you so much of Dave, and when the reality of who he was talking about finally dawned on you Klaus had told you how that man had died in his arms, how broken up he was about it. 

“He was the first person I ever really went sober for...” Klaus said, trembling back in his voice again “I mean I had to see him one last time before everything ended you know?” The look in his eyes broke your heart. He looked back down at the dog tags clutched in his hands before looking back up at you again. He handed them to you almost reluctantly, waiting for you to reject him and accuse him of lying. 

You read the name over and over again before a sob tore through your throat. “I can’t believe it.” You whimpered looking back up at Klaus, his own tears streaking down his cheeks. You pulled him into a tight hug and you both just sat and cried in each other’s arms for who  knows how long. 

You knew there was something special about Klaus from the second you met him, the both of you screaming as you tangled yourself further in your blankets as you tried to push off the mysterious man who fell from a blue light in your ceiling. He was just as tied to Dave as you were, his love for your best friend matching your own. 

After the last of your tears had dried you sat back and looked into Klaus’ red rimmed emerald eyes. “So what do you say Klaus, you ready to go meet Dave?” Your grin was just as watery as his was. 

“I’ve been ready.” He muttered, his eyes fluttering and his eyelashes kissing his cheeks as you wiped away another tear that escaped the corner of his eye. 

He let out a chuckle and grabbed your hand “You know you kind of remind me of him.” He said with a wink. You snort and shake your head against his pillows, staring up at the ceiling. “I’m serious, you both are scarily alike.” 

You hum in agreement, turning your head to look back at him “That’s probably why we didn’t work out together.” You muse, smiling to yourself “We would get in these really stupid fights all the time and eventually we just had enough and broke it off.” Klaus nodded in understanding “We were always better off as friends but that didn’t mean we didn’t indulge in a little sharing every so often.” That caught his attention. 

“Oh?” His tone was teasing yet curious. 

“Man, you have no idea. We were both in a year long relationship with Sky, you remember him right? The really cute one with the long blonde hair that likes to cuddle up with people when he’s high?” Klaus chuckled to himself before laying on his stomach next to you, propping his head up with his hands. 

“So scandalous.” He joked making you roll your eyes a laugh of your own floating in the air. 

The night went on and on, the both of your trading stories back and forth going from Dave to what your childhood was like. He opened up to you about his power he claimed to have, the look on his face told you he was all too serious about the horrible things he went through as a kid. It made your heart clench. 

You both talked until finally you both drifted off to sleep one after the other, his fingers threaded with yours. It was comfortable, not being woken by one of Klaus’ nightmares he would have every so often. You couldn’t be more happy where you were.   

[earthseaborealis]

New Traditions and Worlds

My @homestuckss gift for @dykeiatrist ! I used “Davekat,” “Jane,” and “Hurt/Comfort” (with a bit of DirkJake) to create a cute little holiday fic! Hope you enjoy it :D Have a wonderful holiday season!!

Also on ao3 (@detective_in_space if the link doesn’t work!)

“Twas the week before Christmas,” Dave started before pausing, “Yo Rox, what’s somethin’ that rhymes with Christmas?”

“Ass? Wait, no, no that doesn’t work… Christmas…” Roxy muttered, “Okay so, like, the only thing I’ve got is Christmas, but you absolutely cannot rhyme ‘Christmas’ with ‘Christmas,’ right?”

“You’re definitely right,” Dave sighed as he scratched out the words in his notebook, “Dude, like absolutely nothin’ rhymes with Christmas words.”

Roxy moved over and rested their hand on his shoulder, “Karkat will appreciate the thought at least. Hey, there are other things than Christmas raps, like festive interpretive dances! Or Festive slam poetry?”

“Well, duh, it’s Karkat we’re talkin’ bout,” Dave laughed, but in his defense, it was true. Karkat would yell and insist that he hated Dave’s most ‘ironic’ gifts, but there was a certain fondness in his tone. Like it was just a whole elaborate game. The edges of Karkat’s eyes would wrinkle as his lips curled into a small grin. A small chuckle would escape, which Dave would obviously point out, and in response, Karkat would punch him (before wrapping him in a hug). Oh god, that was the best… 

“Hey sleeping beauty,” Roxy interrupted, as they lightly hit the side of Dave’s head, “Did ya invite me over here just to fall asleep?”

“Nah dawg, I was just thinkin’ about the usual,” Dave brushed their hand aside. 

“So,” Roxy drawled, “Karkat?” Roxy wiggled their eyebrows at Dave. 

“No,” Dave exclaimed, “Fuck, I mean, no. Hey, do ya know any, like, traditions that people do for Christmas and all that jazz.” Now that was a smooth change of topics. 

“Smooth like a baby’s bottom,” Roxy laughed, “But, nah. I didn’t even know Christmas was like a real thing… thought it was an urban myth or something.” Oh, right. Roxy lived in some highly-futuristic society that was enslaved by a fish bitch, but there was none of that oppressive dictatorship on Earth C. Trolls, Carpacians, Humans, and well, any other species were free to chill by the fire and enjoy whatever holiday they wanted. Now that, was what sweet, sweet democracy was about (preach Obama). 

“Lit, lovin’ that we’re both oblivious of any cultural traditions… hey, you think one of the Crocker-Harley-English… berts... would know more about this? I’m feelin’ like they’d be all up in that shit,” Dave said, “Oh fuck, I’m so smart. That’s like totally their thing.”

After quickly picking up all his stuff and saying goodbye to Roxy, Dave picked up his phone and dialed Jane Crocker, the holiday expert, on his way home. Wait, oh fuck, what if she was busy? It’s not like he usually talked to her, so was it out of the question? Oh no, maybe he should’ve just texted John...

The phone picked up, “Hello, Jane Crocker speaking?”

“Oh… oh! Hey Jane, it’s Dave… ya know… Dirk’s cooler bro,” Dave started. He shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket and kicked a stray pebble on the sidewalk. Yes, he could be floating around, but exercise was important. 

“Well, howdy there Dave. It’s been a while since we’ve talked, hasn’t it,” she chuckled, “Anyways, did you need anything?”

“So, like, Rox and I were talkin’ about Christmas and stuff… and well, we’re both dumb and have no idea what people actually do for it, so I thought you might be the expert on the subject? Because it totally seems like it’d be up your ally,” Dave rambled on. 

“Well golly, I’m flattered. It’s been a while since I’ve actually celebrated the holiday, but of course, I’ll help you! Before the game, my father and I had so much fun celebrating… let’s see… Well, I’m sure you already know this, but we’d go out to a farm together and pick out a tree. I’d always search for the fattest tree, and my father would help me cut it down. And then we’d go get Hot Cocoa and pick out ornaments together, and well, oh sorry, I’ve gotten a bit off-topic, haven’t I,” Jane apologized.

“No, no! You’re literally the best… lemme just get a piece of paper to write this on,” Dave fumbled around his captchalogue, and pulled out an old notebook (of course, with Obama on the cover). “Okay cool, I got one, hit me with all that sweet, sweet info.”

“Alright… let’s see, what else… oh, well after we decorated the tree, we’d make and frost sugar cookies and cakes together. Oh! Karkat and you are welcome to come over together sometime and make cookies with me if you’d like,” Jane offered. Hell yeah, she was a literal legend. Roxy and Dirk had the best friends. 

“Yeah, dog, we’d love to! I’ll hit you up with a date once Karkat checks the calendar. You know him and… schedulin’,” Dave said as he continued to write down Jane’s suggestions. 

Jane chuckled, “Sounds good… and one more thing… My father and I would always put cheesy Christmas music on. That was the best… we’d make absolute fools out of ourselves, but it was so much fun. Literally, we’d just dance around and belt the lyrics… those we’re the days,” Jane’s voice started to crack… fuck… had Dave made her cry? “Sorry…” she continued, “I don’t mean to be so emotional. Oh lord, I’m sorry. I… I hope I helped you a bit, and just, feel free to come over whenever for cookies…” 

“Fuck, no,” Dave searched his brain… what would Karkat say… “Sorry for bringin’ up those memories. I know it sucks and all. I’ll give you some time and just hit you up later.” 

“Yes, that’d be great… see you later then,” Jane said as she hung up. 

Well, shit, Dave had already made one person cry and it was only 11 a.m. Maybe Christmas was just an emotional time and stuff. Jane was cool, though, so he hoped that she was okay. Plus, she gave him some kickass advice, and he was so ready to get his holiday spirit on. 

The rest of the walk to his place was boring. Dave tried to come up with some more sick raps for his Christmas album, featuring the new and improved version of “Jingle Bells.” The air was crisp and way too cold for Dave’s Texan roots (he blamed John for the freezing wind), so he was thankful when he finally reached the door. 

“Yo, Karkat, I’m home, and I come with words of wisdom from the one and only Jane Crocker herself,” Dave announced as he closed the door behind him. He attempted to throw his coat and hang it up, but it fell clumsily to the floor. He shrugged it off and continued through the cozy lil’ condo, finding his way into the kitchen, where he found Karkat doing a load of laundry. Yes, the washing machine and dryer were in the kitchen… it was only the most ironic, British mom location for them. Dave, being the coolest man to ever exist, ran up to Karkat and hugged him from behind. 

“Jesus fucking shit Dave! Are you trying to give me a blood pusher attack?” Karkat screeched as he jumped like fifty feet in the air (okay maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but it basically happened). 

“Nah dude, you wouldn’t dare be all anime protagonist on me and faint. Like, imagine me runnin’ to cradle you in my arms while you murmur ‘I’m goin’ to have to kawaii the shit out of your desu.’ Literally, imagine that” Dave rambled. 

Karkat groaned at this, “Stop spending time with Dirk. You’re turning into a shitty weeb Karkat said as he pushed Dave away. 

“I can’t help it… it’s who I am,” Dave clutched yo his chest and fell to the ground, pulling the other boy down with him. Karkat’s words. The worst weapon of all. 

“I’m going to go live with Kanaya and Rose,” Karkat grumbled, falling to the ground as dramatically as possible (making sure to land on Dave with as much force as possible). 

“Like you’d do that,” Dave scoffed, “She’s worse than me. Plus, is you did, we couldn’t be all romantic and celebrate human holidays together. C’mon dude, we gotta act like a high school couple. Get all up in each other’s space and kiss under the mistletoe. Oh, speakin’ of that! I talked to Jane, who is literally the best, and she was like ‘oh Dave! Check out this super lit tradition I did back on the o.g. Earth. Like, you get to cut down a tree and decorate with the most ironic ornaments.’” 

“Sound detrimental to the environment and a waste of time. What’s the point of celebrating a fucking tree,” Karkat asked.

“Dude, it’s a pine tree, which is superior to all other trees. Besides,  it’s about family and friends. I mean, I never celebrated Christmas with Bro, but you can’t just diss Karen like that,” Dave said, using his best white mom voice. 

“Fine whatever. I’ll celebrate your dumb human holiday, but I call picking out the decorations,” Karkat bargained as he stood up and dusted off his pants (getting rid of Dave’s germs).

“Hell yeah, deal! Get your coat on, we’re gonna get a tree and bring it in our house,” Dave exclaimed, quickly getting off the ground. 

The boys quickly got ready and we’re out the door, hopping into their car. Dave has gotten it because well, basically of all Karkat and his friends could fly. He has listened to Karkat’s complaining enough and invested in an older, used minivan. And man, did he love the thing. Hey, maybe he’d become a car person after the holidays were over. 

Dave was about to drive to the nearest park with a saw, but Karkat demanded that he call and ask Jane first. Jane recommended a small farm in the middle of nowhere, and with the use of a GPS, they eventually found their way there (after a few hours of trial and error).

“Jane said that fat trees were better, but honestly, I’m lovin’ this tall ass one right here. I mean look at it. It’s taller than the Empire State Buildin’… wait, is that still a thing? Like an Earth C Empire State Buildin’?” In Dave’s defense, it was a totally valid question. Like, did Earth C have the same seven wonders of the world? Who knew. 

“Shut the fuck up. We’re here for a tree, not imperialism,” Karkat groaned, “And besides, our house isn’t big enough for that.”

“But Karkat, the economy,” Dave whined, “But like, what about this tiny one… it reminds me of you, short stacks.”

Karkat shoved him, “And the other reminds me of your flat ass.” 

“I’ll take that as a compliment… since you're lookin’ at my ass and all,” Dave pulled down his Stiller shades and winked.

“Shut up, you fucking twink. Let’s just celebrate your weird human holidays and get the tree,” Karkat grumbled as he attempted to pick up the tree. 

Dave doubled over laughing as he watched the 5’3 troll struggle, but once Karkat shot him an angry glare, he rushed over to aid him (with his huge muscles, of course). “Nice, I can feel it pokin’ me through my mittens. Ten out of ten would recommend.”

After endless trial and error, the pair managed to carry the tree to the register and on top of their car, a red minivan that Dave had picked out.

“So,” Karkat started, “We just put a tree in our block and decorate it? And then some creepy old man flies around the world and gives presents to children by putting them under the tree?” His eyebrows furrowed as he attempted to understand human traditions.

“Dude, I can’t even explain it. Humans can come up with some weird shit when they put their minds to it,” Dave laughed. The rest of the car ride consisted of Karkat rambling about trollian traditions. Their hands managed to find one another and rest comfortably on the center console (Dave, of course, kept one hand on the steering wheel at all times… hey, safety is important). 

Their next stop was the local hardware store. It was owned by a sweet, older Carpacian. In all honesty, she reminded Dave of the Mayor… a kindred spirit whose goal in life was to just lead and help make others happy. She made the place seem like the opposite of a place to buy tools. The place was decorated with festive garlands and cheery music rang through the air. Dave waved at her as the pair walked towards the Christmas section.

“So,” Dave drawled, “What kind of ornaments are we lookin’ for? Personally, I wanna find a dick shaped one… for the memories of cockscotch. Bless that game.”

“This is a family store, dick-muncher! And we’re getting triple-f ornaments! Family fucking friendly!” Karkat screeched, marching ahead (but not before grabbing Dave’s hand and pulling him along). 

“Fine, fine, I get it… gotta make our house grub friendly, for when John comes over,” Dave snickered as they walked the ornaments aisle. Who knew there were so many different variations in fucking decorations? You had some for your Karens, poor college students, newlyweds, too many to count. Karkat busied himself with the… glass ball? Well, whatever that kind of ornament was called. 

“These are nice,” Karkat noted, showing Dave a set of jade glass baubles (haha, like Kanaya).

“But like, dude, they’re so borin’,” Dave whined, “We gotta spruce this tree up… get it? Spruce is a kind of tree.” Dave chuckled at his own dad joke. Shit, he was hilarious. 

“Hey, I’m just trying to make this actually look nice. We’ll get other colors too, and “spruce” it up, as you say,” Karkat said as he went back to check out the boring ornaments. Dave, on the other hand, went to look at the children’s ornaments on the other side of the aisle. Most of them were new pop culture things that Dave didn’t recognize (God was he growing old). However, there were a few that grabbed his attention, and obviously, he was gonna have to show these to Karkat. 

“Yo, dawg. Check out these cool little fuckers. They’ll make our tree look mads cool,” Dave opened his hands to reveal a bunch of little crab ornaments. They were cute and not boring glass balls. Plus, crabs were like Karkat’s thing… he’d definitely appreciate them.

“Crustaceans? Don’t you just know the way to my blood pusher,” Karkat rolled his eyes, “Just put them in the basket before I change my mind.”

Dave threw his fist in the air and gave Karkat a side hug, “Hell yeah, you won’t regret this. We gonna get so festive up in this joint. All the moms will be beggin’ to check out the coolest tree in the neighborhood, which if ya didn’t catch on, will be ours.”

“You got me. I’m only doing this to make Carol jealous. She fucking deserves it,” Karkat chuckled. Yes, Dave knew he was doing swell when he made Karkat laugh. If only he could give himself a, well earned, golden star. 

“Dude yes, I fuckin’ hate Carol. C’mon, let’s get more lights. We gotta make this flashy and blow a fuse, speakin’ of which… do you know how to fix a broken fuse? Because I do not wanna call Dirk over to fix it for us. He’ll be like ‘Dave, I’m just tryin’ to celebrate the holidays with my darlin’ boyfriend… have I mentioned Jake’s ass? Damn, lemme just rant about that and never actually fix your broken utilities.’ Can you imagine the pain, Karkat,” Dave lamented? He loved his brother, don’t get him wrong, but he did not want to mess with Dirk this close to the holiday season. 

“I can, actually. Remember what happened the week before Jake’s birthday? Dirk is batshit crazy, but he gets it from you,” Karkat smirked as Dave feigned an offended expression, “Now, can we stop talking about his love life and actually pick out some decorations?”

The pair still had one more destination before they could go home and relax, maybe even decorate the tree… but knowing themselves, they’d probably wait until Christmas Eve to put the new lights and ornaments up. 

“Oh my goodness, I’m so glad you two could make it,” Jane said as she opened the door, “I’ve already got everything out, so all we have to do is bake and decorate cookies… and perhaps eat a bit of dough.” She ushered the two inside. 

“Hell yeah, you’re the best Janey,” Dave said as the pair put away their coats and walked to the kitchen with Jane. Everything was so clean, especially when compared to their house. Karkat would always fuss about his habits, but Dave felt a sort of comfort in the messiness. So what if there were shirts thrown on the floor and an unorganized stack of papers on the kitchen table. It built… character. 

“I’ve never had what you humans call ‘cookies,’ but thank you for having us,” Karkat added. 

“Oh please, it’s no problem. I love baking, and I especially love helping people get into the holiday spirit,” Jane said. The trio fell into a simple routine once Jane showed them the recipe, helping the two boys when need be. Dave filled the silence by rambling under his breath about whatever he deemed important, while Karkat concentrated on making his cookies perfect. 

“Hey look,” Dave exclaimed while holding up one of his doughy creations, “It’s a Karkat angel! A Kar-Angel… a Karkat Van-Angel!” His cookies were shaped into gingerbread men with nubby horns and an uncharacteristic smile. 

“And I made a Dave-Cookie… oh wait, it’s just a blob of dough, my fucking bad,” Karkat retorted, going back to rolling out his dough. 

It was a long process, but after a few hours, the boys had successfully made their first batch of Christmas sugar cookies. A few of the cookies weren’t burnt on the edges, but they were delicious nonetheless. Jane demanded that the pair take home their creations, as she didn’t have enough room in her cabinets for more holiday desserts. 

“Goodness, thank you so much for coming over and making sugar cookies! I haven’t had this much fun since… well, it’s been a while. Feel free to come by and help me whenever you all would like,” Jane chirped. 

“Of course, Janey,” Dave replied, “You best bet we’ll be back for some more goodies! Gotta get my housewife on. I can’t be accidentally poisoning Karkat with some undercooked cake.” 

“You’ve poisoned me with every meal of your’s, except the Kraft Mac and Cheese, but only because Roxy helped you,” Karkat spat. 

“Oh well, we certainly can’t have that. I’ll be seeing you both again soon then. Have a Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year!”

It was dark by the time they were home. Karkat and Dave both felt the sleepiness enter the body, as they kept yawning. It was too late to decorate the tree, so it was leaned against a corner. The pair immediately plopped down onto the couch and put on a holiday classic, Tim Allen’s “The Santa Clause,” which Dave argued was the best Christmas movie known to mankind, trollkind, and carpaciankind alike. 

“Y’know, I never imagined that I would celebrate Christmas. Like, dude, that shit was mads uncool,” Dave said out of the blue, interrupting the beautiful sound of Tim Allen interacting with CGI reindeers and kidnapped children.

Karkat groaned, “Well, me either, yet here I am, celebrating a dumb holiday for dumb human grubs.” He was just trying to enjoy this wonderful holiday film, but with Dave, silence didn’t last long. In a way, it provided comfort to the pair. He knew that Dave absolutely hated the silence, as it reminded him of his Bro. For Karkat, Dave’s endless rambling allowed him to take his mind off of his worries. It was an odd relationship, one that had taken years to achieve, but here they were… they had made it, yet Karkat knew there were still shaky moments for the two of them. Like now, for example. The pair both would jump around certain barriers, trying desperately to aid one another, while still attempting to not dig too deep. 

Dave rested his head upon Karkat’s thighs and snuggled into the pile of blankets, reminding him of their time on the meteor, “Y’know, I wouldn’t have this whole thing any other way. ‘M glad my first Christmas is with you, instead of Bro.” His words are slurred together and slightly muffled, and Karkat can’t help the stupid ass blush that creeps onto his face at the sound of them. 

“Fuck that guy,” Karkat spits. After a moment, he starts again, this time with a gentler tone, “And it’s nice to have you here too, no matter how fucking dumb your endless rants may be.”

Dave could almost hear Dirk whispering “Tsundere” in his ear as he chuckled, “Awe, love you too, KitKat.” He sits back up, nearly smacking the top of his head into Karkat’s jaw. He looks away for a second, briefly hesitating, then leans in, closing the distance between the pair. It’s just a brief peck, but it leaves the two of them speechless. Dave looks at Karkat through his shades. A light brush coated his cheeks and his lips curled into a small grin. 

Karkat pulls Dave into his side and looks towards the corner of the living room, where their small, fat tree is leaning against the wall. It was empty and in desperate need of attention (aka Crustacean ornaments). Filled with a sudden burst of energy, he paused the movie and stood up, pulling Dave with him, “Get off your lazy ass and get fucking festive. We have a tree to decorate.”

[heilewelt]

In words: Americana Showcase Festival UK, Januar 2019

My favorite festivals are the small and relaxed ones where every venue is just a small club within walking distance and it’s comfortable to get in every venue because there are no massive lines, the people are relaxed, no pushing and everyone is playing on time. Those are a few reasons why I fell in love with the Americana UK Showcase Festival in London the other week. A small, wonderfully curated festival in the heart of Hackney. It’s made by the Americana Music Association UK and part of the conference which took place during daytime. This year I left the conference part out but I’m pretty sure I won’t next year.

I initially went to London to (finally) see Arkansas Dave live. We met in Nashville during Americana Fest 2018 and drove around downtown to do our interview – I just arrived to late to catch him live. So, London it was. I’m so glad I went. They were amazing. The stage was shaking. Literally. Dave is not holding back on stage and when he jumped the stage would shake. The drums were shaking. Mikey was smiling behind his drums. He had a different drummer than usual but he got one of my most favorite: Mikey Sorbello of The Graveltones. I love his style. He knows Rock. Their set was a little less Americana and more stomping Rock’n’Roll. Heating up the freezing cold room or just me because I couldn’t stand still. Of course their set was a little too short – round about 30 minutes. Maybe the only downside of a showcase festival.

Once again I was lucky. The line up of the whole festival was very, very good. Arkansas Dave’s performance had been the cherry on top of two beautiful days. I also want to tell you about my ice cream performances. I was very fortunate to see Kaia Kater again. She is a Folk musician from Canada. There’s always something very earnest about her performing her songs and the way she combines traditional with modern and - as you can hear especially on her latest album “Grenades” – her own and her families stories. The Empire Bar was full. And even some other bands were seen – like Birds of Chicago. Later that same night I’d see them on stage of the Night Tales. Another highlight.

The duo, JT Nero and Allison Russell, were joined by Steve Dawson on guitar. One of the things I like about these guys is that Allison Russell actually plays a clarinet, an instrument I don’t see to often on stage. And I love how the voices work together – the roughness and the smoothness. Beautiful. My favourite moment of their set was the performance of “American Flowers” at the end and how all the music industry people joined in to song along the chorus – according to JT Nero something you shall never attempt. Haha. Well, it worked fine and was such a beautiful moment.

Ida Mae is a duo who moved from London to Nashville, musically being more at home in Nashville than in London. I’ve seen them last year in Nashville and now again in London and they’re wonderful. Growing love with every time I see them live. There’s something very comforting in their music and Chris Turpins voice and the harmony with his wife’s Stephanie Jean’s voice. I absolutely love their newest single “If You Don’t Love Me” – live it becomes even more emotional. These two are one of the bands who I believe have a big and bright future ahead of them. They’re endlessly on tour.

Here is my universal tip for you: never leave the venue when a white haired man with beard and cowboy hat enters the stage. That’s why I caught Asleep At The Wheel as a duo at a packed Moth Club. Well, a quarter of Asleep At The Wheel: Ray Benson and Katie Shore. Of course I’ve heard of them before but never saw them live. What a shame! Country right from the heart of Texas, plenty of stories and laughter. Some great cover versions, Asleep At The Wheel Songs and a song written by Benson and Shore over skype – modern times are not all bad. I’m not sure what venues they usually play but seeing Ray Benson on such a small stage felt pretty special.

I’ve only recently heard about Ethan Johns for the first time – he produced two albums which will be released soon: William the Conqueror’s “Bleeding On The Soundtrack” (release date: 15th of February 2019) and Ida Mae’s soon to be released debut album. Both on my watchlist. Johns didn’t play alone. He had The Black Eyed Dogs with him, his everchanging backing band, more a collective of musician/friends who meet on stage to play together or a public rehearse. It was fascinating to watch him as he has this way of directing the music even while they play.  Keeping it all together and then again let lose for a little jam at the end of a song.

I guess every festival must end with a bang. That’s why Whiskey Shivers were the perfect last band. Barefooted, moustache wearing perfect last band. Barefoot in a venue that was basically an open garage at temperatures around 0°C. They sure kept warm as there is no way that they or us could stand still. Trashgrass at its best, although I don’t know what it would sound like at its worst. Joyous last gig, especially when they played a song amongst the audience. Would have been even better without cell phones and cell phones’ flash lights but you can still close your eyes and listen and dance.

The Americana Music Association UK also held an award show at the Hackney Empire on the third day of the conference. There were winners, wonderful speeches, Bob Harris and performances from artists like Mary Gauthier, Graham Nash, Ethan Johns, Israel Nash and more but for me the most outstanding, remarkable performance was from Rhiannon Giddens! She left her banjo behind and sang without any amplification. How it used to be in this impressive, old British theater and even in last row on the balcony I’d get goosebumps. So amazing. I’m so glad I finally got the chance to see her live after so many years of listening to her music.

I can’t wait for the next edition of this wonderfully curated little Americana festival. You can feel the passion in every moment and the love for the genre when you talk to the visitors. I just loved it. 

Thank you for reading,

Dörte

P.S. all photos (c) Dörte Heilewelt, a few more photos on my flickr.

[thelostsmiles]

If this is how I feel with having just seen him, I can’t even imagine how it’ll be meeting him one day...

This year has been a blessing. April and May have been my favorite so far. I wanted to write about Letters Live in NY this past weekend but how could I when I haven’t even written about the IW premiere? I share my moment with you now :) It’s long but it’s everything I want to say and pictures are included so if you’re up for it, enjoy x

I had already been planning to go to the Avengers Infinity War LA premiere since last year. I asked for the day off and things were looking good.

The premiere was on Monday. With so many high profile celebrities attending, I expected a big crowd. Even so, I underestimated the event. I got there on Sunday early afternoon and there were already about 40 people in front of me. I did not lose hope though. Night time came and the workers started putting up tall, black barricades along the sidewalk, the same sidewalk where we were standing waiting. Everyone around me got discouraged because it seemed we wouldn’t even be able to see them walk the red carpet (it was actually purple in representation of Thanos). I felt a little anxious about it but I was already there and I was in it for the long-haul. After a chilly night, morning came and people started putting away the camping gear they had laid out. Some women left to use public restrooms to change into nicer clothes and others left to get breakfast. I had formed an alliance with two comic book aficionados in front of me and a couple of lovely teenage girls behind me who were there to see Seb. We watched each others place in line as we took turns leaving our spot for necessities. I refused to drink and eat too much in fear that I’d miss an announcement or something of the sort. Around 11am, we saw police officers come near us and they started taking measurements up against the black gates that were in place. They didn’t give us any updates but we kept on eye on them and tried to listen to their conversation. Our biggest fear was that they would block every one and nobody would get to see a single thing. About 15 minutes later, I saw them from a distance coming back with tall and wide hedges that were to be placed next to the ends of the gates to look pretty. They were closing off everyone that wasn’t in the very front inside of this bullpen looking box. I was right next to the closing section. I did not just sleep on the cold, hard floor for nothing. I was not about to miss my opportunity of seeing Benedict for the first time. The group in front of me asked the people in front of them if they would squeeze forward to allow us to get closer behind them. Surprisingly, they did. And that’s when I somehow managed to get into the box right before the hedges went up and they closed everyone else off. It ended up being about 100-150? fans in the box. I had made it! I would be getting a wrist band guaranteeing that I would see the stars... the one star I was there for.

After a couple more hours and a few issues here and there, the time had come. I was at the very front up against the gate. I was quite happy because since I’m short, there’s no way I’d get to see anything if I was in the back with taller people in front of me. I had my special comic book open and ready. I was set.

I saw Tom Holland, Tom Hiddleston, Zoe Saldana, Mark Ruffalo, Paul Rudd, Chadwick Boseman, Dave Bautista, Anthony Russo, Stan Lee, Chris Hemsworth, Karen Gillan, Letitia Wright, Gwyneth Paltrow, and more. They were all lovely but both Toms, Mark, and Paul were by far the sweetest of all!

I was yet to see my main man. I was getting nervous. I had many thoughts rushing through my mind. What if he arrives too late and doesn’t have time to greet us? What if he does make his way over but only does one half of the crowd and then leaves? What if, what if, what if. I forced myself to stop thinking and just wait. I did. I waited.

From where I was standing I could see the main stage on the carpet in front of me to my left. (We were across the street. Think of it as them on one sidewalk and us on the other with two lanes in between us.) I kept looking over there standing on my toes as if that would help me get a better view. I saw all sorts of celebrities go up but not B.

I had my phone in my pocket because the last thing I wanted was my battery to die at the most inconvenient moment (which wouldn’t matter anyways). I remember looking down at my book admiring the autographs my nerdy self had already collected. I was trying to figure out a certain signature when my phone started buzzing. It vibrated once then twice, three times, a fourth and so on. It kept vibrating but it didn’t feel like a phone call. They were alerts. I took a quick peak at the screen as it lit up and I didn’t even have to open any of them. I already knew what it was about having read the first line, “HE’S THERE! AND WITH SOPHIE!” My heart went into tachycardia and my palms started sweating. I said a silent and genuine thank you to my friends for having my back and keeping me updated on twitter

There were other stars still coming near us to sign but I honestly do not remember who. I was busy keeping my eyes on Benedict. I didn’t want to lose sight of him until I did. Oh, no. Where had he gone?

The fun group of girls that stood behind me in line were about 5 people away next to my left. They were really tall and had a better view at the starting point. I heard one of them call out, “Alex! He’s here! He’s coming!” I wouldn’t shut up about my love for B and DS the whole time and everyone knew I was there for him. The man next to my left who was also taller than me (everyone is taller than me lol) also caught a glimpse of him and he nudged me to tell me that the Master of the Mystic Arts himself was getting closer to our side. 

Oh my literal god. I kept telling myself to relax but it didn’t do much. The tears that had formed earlier found a way out and they were now rolling down my cheeks. At least I wasn’t sobbing and I most certainly did not get hysterical. I started saying his name. “Benedict! Benedict... Benedict.” He was arriving to our side and I was finally able to see him now. He got to the man next to me and he spoke to him. Upon hearing that deep, smooth voice, I could’ve fainted there and then had I let myself. It is a dream like no other. Was I breathing? Thank God it’s an automatic mechanism because I would’ve forgotten how to do it. I’m surprised I didn’t drop the book I was holding out in front of me. 

Now, remember, I’m short. The lady behind me had a big poster wrapped around a piece of cardboard and she had placed that over my head and it hung in front of me covering me a bit. I was just about to shove it away from me when this angel came to my rescue. He pushed the poster aside to get a better look at me. The poster faded away and that’s when I saw him directly in front of me. I have never seen anyone so beautiful and so very handsome and gorgeous and stunning and brilliant and marvelous and all good things as he is before. This will sound cliché but oh well. It’s true. I did not know true beauty until he was standing right there inches in front of me. 

I forgot how to do anything but keep my eyes open and smile. These two pics were taken by the man next to me who was kind enough to share them with me afterwards. In the second pic, you can see he’s looking my way. Maybe he noticed that mean lady behind me? It was now my turn and I was beyond happy. Something clicked in my brain and it told me to speak up. “Benedict... Benedict. Patrick Melrose. You’re going to be amazing!” He was already signing my book but he paused as if in shock that someone mentioned PM. Still holding the sharpie in one hand and the book with the other, he looked up at me and smiled. Let me take a fangirl moment here and scream because aaaaaahhhh he looked right into my own two eyes! He was wearing glasses but the California sun was peering through the shades and this allowed me to see his golden lashes flicker up and down. Still looking at me, he said the sweetest most sincere, “Thank you.” I could tell it meant a lot to him because there he was, standing with a crowd that was chanting “Ben”, “Doctor Strange” and “Stephen” the whole time (which makes sense given that it was AIW) and this shorty (me) was saying a completely different name. It caught his attention and why wouldn’t it? It is his passion project. I have been wanting to tell him all the things I feel about this project since the day we found out he was cast as the leading man. Of course, I wouldn’t be able to in these few seconds of interaction with him. I said what I thought would be enough to convey what I felt for the most part. Having now seen BN, I can safely say I was right. He finished signing his last name and in that moment I realized I was grateful he has a long name because that just means he takes a little longer with the fans :P

He proceeded to sign the others next to me. Even the pushy lady behind me because he’s kind like that. Karon tapped him to ask him something and he turned around towards his right. Bless her. This gave me extra time to admire him. After, he continued signing for the men next to my right and I still kept looking at him. He was undeniably gorgeous in that chocolate velvet suit. The moment had finally made its way into my brain and I couldn’t help myself any longer. With a few tears running down my face I said, “I love you, Benedict.” What happened next is something I never expected to experience in my entire life and, therefore, it took me by surprise. He actually heard me and replied back, “Love you too, darling.” This is the moment my soul left my body. I died a little this day. I got an “ily” and a “darling”. I don’t need anything ever again to live. This is more than enough.

He finished the section, waved and blew a kiss to everyone, said thanks and walked away. That was it. He walked back onto the carpet and into the tent and he was gone. He may have left but the memory of what I have shared with you now has stayed with me since. I cherish it more than anything I own, more than  other amazing moments that have happened to me. Writing this weeks later, I have seen him two other times now but nothing compares to the first moment when you see someone who you love and admire with all your heart. I realize how fortunate I am to have this and I will never take it for granted.

[rememberstilinski]

last christmas || dave hodgman (smut)

word count: 6,433

warnings: smut, protected sex, girl on top, angsty as fuck

author’s note: y’all i literally pounded this out and i hope it’s as good as i think it is lmao. i’m exhausted and proofread most of this, but i apologize for my errors because i may not have caught anything. also, i’m so sorry for taking forever to get out a fic, i’ve just been so busy and i’ve felt like shit, but now that i have a break from school, i can finally get back to posting on scheduled days! anyway, enjoy some dave!

pairing: dave hodgman x reader

holiday masterlist.

masterlist.

There are many terrible things. One is spilling scorching hot coffee all over yourself while wearing a white shirt. Another is waking up early and not having the time to get ready on a Monday morning. However, perhaps the worst thing is going back to a place that you genuinely hated. A place that held more heartbreak than it did happiness.

For Y/N Y/L/N, that place was her hometown in Northern California. The town she never really liked. She always wanted to get out. She dreamed of leaving for as long as long she could remember. She couldn’t wait for the day she got in the car and drove off, never to look back at the town that held so much angst.

You might be wondering why she holds so much resentment for the town she grew up in. Well, she had pretty good reasons. Her father had died when she was thirteen in a car accident on the bridge that led into the town her family lived in. He was the most important person in her life. The two of them were like two peas in a pod, they understood each other in ways no one else did.

Then he passed and it was like a piece of her went with him. Her once perfect grades took a colossal hit. The straight A’s plummeted to C’s and D’s. The happy smile she always wore died and wasn’t ever seen again. At least not until she met him.

His name was Dave Hodgman. He was a just a boy. Just a boring, hormonal teenage boy. But to her, he was more than just Dave. He was the one who made her smile like she did before losing her father. The grins she wore stretched across her face to her ears. Her eyes sparkled with life unlike they had for the four years she lived without her father.

He made her happy. He brought her back from herself in ways she didn’t think was even possible. Whether it was the way he sang to her as they drove in his car while taking Stella to the park, or the way the way he smiled at her with that beautiful grin every time he saw her. She loved the way he held her hand and stroked her knuckles oh so gently with the rough pad of thumb.

Whenever he muttered the three words, that he was the first one to say, her heart did a backflip and butterflies flew around in her tummy. He was this ball of light and happiness she’d needed for so long. And she loved him unlike she could have ever imagined.

When you fall in love with someone, it’s a dangerous game. You put so much trust in them that you’ll fall and they’ll catch you, holding you safely in their arms, never to let go. She thought that was what happened with him, but that was before the breakup.

“Just say it, Dave.” She mumbled almost inaudibly, looking at her hands, sitting in the passenger’s seat next to said boy. The light from the street lamps poured into the car, the light shining over her soft skin.

They’d just gotten back to her house from a date at the movie theater. The car was parked in the driveway, right behind her own car. She noticed

how quiet he was, how he didn’t smile like he did a week ago. He didn’t kiss her the same way. His lips were weak against hers.

She knew why he wasn’t the same. That was probably was hurt the most. It was because he fell in love with someone else. Someone else took his attention, captured his heart. It was that girl he met at the left from Friday night. Aubrey, was her name.

Y/N wasn’t stupid. She noticed that Dave kept looking back at the blonde girl he’d only just met, their eyes were on each other all night. He basically ignored his girlfriend when he saw Aubrey walk into the theater. He was pulling away and it hurt like hell.

“Say what?”

She finally looked at him, not having looked into his wonderful eyes all night. He turned his head to look back at her, the tears pooling in her eyes noticeable because of the dim light. “Break up with me already.” She shook her head.

“What do you mean? Why would I do that?”

She scoffed. “Because I’m not Aubrey!” Her quiet voice grew intense and angry, her chest aching with a pain similar to what she felt everyday after father died. “You don’t look at me like how you were looking at her all night anymore. You don’t light up when I walked into the room like you used. You don’t kiss me the same. You don’t blush when you see me anymore.”

Her vision was blurry, her tears warm as they slid down her cheek. The liquid left streaks in her face makeup, her mascara was flaking around her eyes. “You don’t love me anymore, Dave.” Her fragile voice broke, a sniffle following soon after.

“Why would you say that? Of course I love you.”

“I’m saying it because you don’t feel the same. You might love me, but you’re not in love with me.” She swallowed, looking back to her hands. “I don’t know how you fell for her so quickly or if you ever even really fell in love with me. I mean, you just abandoned your feelings for me so suddenly, I don’t if you ever loved me like I loved you.”

Dave‘s face softened as he began shaking his head. “Y/N, I-”

“Don’t. Just, please, don’t. Just break up with me now and get it over with. We both know it’s bound to come.”

He was silent as he looked down to his jeans, his hand smoothing over the rough material. He glanced back up at her with a sorrowful expression. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s the thing, Dave.” She breathed out, her eyes burning with hot tears. “You’re not.”

It’s been over a year since that night and she could still feel that dull ache that lived in her hollow chest. She hadn’t spoken to him since that night, she hadn’t looked at him. She avoided him entirely. It was easier on her heart that way.

Instead of letting herself fall into this downward spiral, she kept herself together. She used all her anger and became stronger than what she used to be. She maintained her grades, she got into going to the gym, finding a way to channel her emotions from the breakup. She was better than she’d ever been, but she wished it was under different circumstances.

After high school, she left her hometown and went to college out of state. She was happy being in a new place, but there was always that constant ounce of pain radiating from her heart. The pain of losing all she’d ever truly loved.

The intensity of how it felt grew as soon as she drove past the ‘welcome’ sign of the town she grew up in. She sighed, just ready to get the holidays over with and see her family. However, before she went home she had to make her way to the grocery store.

A few minutes ago, she received a message from her mother about needing some milk. Y/N took the familiar route to the store that was just around the corner from her childhood home. Within minutes, she was pulling into a parking spot in the small lot.

She made her way into the store and quickly walked to the back of the store, grabbing a gallon of milk. A buzz from her back pocket made her stop in her tracks as she walked towards the cash register.

Pulling out her phone, another text message from her mother lit up the small screen.

mom (6:46 pm): hi, honey! could you also grab band aids? molly scraped her knee

Y/N responded with a confirmation on buying the band aids for her little sister. Molly was eight years old and Y/N assumed that she’d been playing outside and fell off her bike. The little girl was still learning how to ride a bicycle and Y/N made a promise to teach her while she was home for the holidays.

It’d been awhile since she had come to this store for anything in the health and beauty section, but with a quick thought, she remembered where that particular section was and with no more troubles, she walked to the aisle with the rest of the things she needed. She hurried to grab the bandages and went to the cash register.

While she waited in line, she looked around, some of the faces she saw vaguely familiar. She even noticed a couple people who she went to high school with, but they weren’t anyone important. No one she ever talked to anyway.

She looked to the side and went to grab a pack of mint mojito gum, but someone else’s hand grazed over hers, clearly going for the same package. “Oh, I’m sorry.” She mumbled, waiting for the other person to grab their gum before she grabbed hers, tossing it on the conveyor belt along with the box of bandages and milk.

“It’s really no problem.”

The voice made her stomach drop. Her palms suddenly felt clammy and her cheeks were undoubtedly flushed with a light pink color. She knew that voice. She would never forget that voice.

Swallowing nervously, she glanced up at the person behind her. Her breath hitched in her throat, the long sleeved shirt she was wearing suddenly making her too hot. The amber eyed man furrowed his eyebrows, clearly recognizing his ex girlfriend.

“Y/N!” He said, surprise evident in his deep voice. “W-What are you doing here? I thought you were away for school.”

“I was, but I’m visiting my mom and Molly for Christmas.” She said, her tongue gliding over her smooth lips, a habit she had for when she was nervous.

Dave nodded in understanding. “Yeah, me too.” He trailed off, scratching the back of his neck anxiously. Neither of them knew what to say. What could you really say to the one who broke your heart at three o’clock in the afternoon in a grocery store? “It’s nice to see you. You look great.”

Y/N nodded, walking forward as the cashier began ringing her up. “I know.” She replied, turning to the cash register as the woman looked between the two past lovers, the awkward tension thick in the air. Dave smiled softly at her response, stifling a laugh.

The conversation ended there, nothing else left to be said. The woman scanning Y/N’s items finished up, giving her the plastic bag and the receipt. “Have a good day, Merry Christmas.” She said, Y/N returning the saying with an ingenuine smile.

She hurried to leave the grocery store, walking over to her car, fumbling with her keys. What just happened had Y/N shaking, her breath gone. She hoped prior to her trip that she wouldn’t see either Dave or Aubrey. She couldn’t take facing either one of them. It hurt too much to put into words.

Seeing him was like all the oxygen was sucked out of the air and her lungs were burning with the need for the essential gas. It made the ache in her heart intensify with a thousand thorns holding her organ, squeezing until she was left holding her chest on the ground.

The sky was dark and there a chill in the air she felt when it was about to snow, but she didn't expect a white Christmas. It wasn’t impossible for it to snow in her hometown, but it wasn’t very likely there would be any snow.

She tried to push the key into the keyhole on the side of car door, completely forgetting about the button on the keychain she could’ve pressed instead. With her anger increasing, she felt her eyes gloss over as every memory she ever shared with the man she just ran into flooding in her brain, flashing like a kaleidoscope.

With a deep breath, she closed her eyes, calming herself down. A tear rolled down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away, not wanting to be seen crying in the grocery store parking lot. Y/N pushed the key into its hole, twisting it to unlock the door.

Before she could get in, long, slender fingers wrapped around her wrist, keeping her from going far. She looked to see who grabbed her and it was Dave. Who else?

She shook her head, refusing to talk to him. “No, no. Go away.”

“Y/N, we need to talk.”

She laughed mockingly. “Talk? Dave, I have nothing to say to you. Do you really think I want to talk to you after what you did?”

A look of emotional agony passed over his face, one that she didn’t fail to notice it. As much as it hurt her own heart, she had to stay strong. She couldn’t let the walls she spent so long building up tumble right back down again. “That’s why we should talk.”

“I don’t want to talk to you. I came back to be with my family. I did not come back for you, I did not come back to build a friendship. What I did was build a bridge and got over it.” She exclaimed, her eyebrows scrunched together. Her face was flushed, the cold and her anger playing into the pinkish tint on her cheeks.

“I just want to talk to you.” He mumbled, looking at her with hurt in his beautiful eyes. She was close to giving in, close to falling into his arms and letting him hold her as she cried. But they weren’t that couple anymore. He wasn’t the same Dave Hodgman she fell in love with as a teenager. He was someone who hurt her.

“I’ve gotta go.” She shook her head slowly, pulling away from Dave, his hand falling from her small wrist. He didn’t get the chance to say anything else, she turned on her heel setting the bag in the passenger’s seat, pulling the door closed. She made quick work of putting on her seatbelt and starting the car, pulling out of the parking lot without looking back to Dave.

Y/N drove the two minutes to her house, stopping in the driveway in front of the closed garage. Finally breathing evenly, she sighed deeply, her hands gripping the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white. She threw her head back against the headrest, needing a few moments to gather herself before entering her house to see her mom.

She grabbed the grocery bag and milk carton from the seat next to her and the duffel bag with all her clothes for the break from the backseat. She entered the house and instantly heard feet running across the hardwood flooring. Looking up, she saw Molly running towards her with a grin. There was a red scrape that was beginning to bruise right on her knee cap.

“Y/N!” The little girl exclaimed happily.

“Molly!” She dropped her duffle bag and set the stuff she bought from the store next to the door, bending down to hold her little sister in a tight hug. Molly tackled her into the floor, her arms wrapped around Y/N’s body.

“Did you bring my band aids?” She asked as she rested her chin on her older sister’s shoulder. Chuckling, Y/N nodded and grabbed the bag with the bandages and opened it up, putting one on the cleaned scrape.

She kissed her pointer finger, gently pressing her fingertips against the bandaged scrape. “All better.” Y/N stood up, pulling Molly along to the kitchen to see their mother busying herself with a recipe. “Hi, mom.” She smiled brightly.

“Hi, honey!” The older woman walked around the kitchen island wrapping her daughter up in a tight and comforting embrace. Y/N nuzzled her face into her mother’s shoulder, inhaling the sweet gingerbread smell that lingered in the air from all the baking the woman was clearly doing. “What happened?”

Y/N realized her mother must’ve sensed how her daughter clung to her, needing parental comfort after seeing Dave. “I saw him. I saw Dave at the store and we talked… kinda.”

Her mother sighed and held on tighter, rubbing her hands up and down her back in a comforting matter. “Oh, baby. What did he say?”

“He wanted to talk. But I panicked and came home. I think I hurt his feelings.”

Pulling away, Y/N’s mom cupped her cheeks, looking into the sparkling eye color that they shared. “It’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up about it.” She smiled genuinely, pushing a piece of Y/N’s hair behind her ear.

“It hurt to see him.” She uttered, almost shamefully. “I-I couldn’t breathe. I still can’t breathe.” She said, trying taking a deep breath.

“It’s called heartbreak, sweetheart. Everyday it’ll get easier, I promise.”

Y/N nodded, hugging her mom once again. She sniffled, keeping herself from crying. If she’d known that coming back home would bring up these feelings again, she wouldn’t have ever said yes to returning.

A few hours later, the three ladies of the house had finished watching some Christmas movie. Molly was passed out, laying against her mother who was also sleeping peacefully. Y/N looked at the timed and realized it was almost eleven o’clock at night and she was drained, both physically and emotionally.

She got off the couch and grabbed a blanket from the closet, throwing it over her mother and sister, giving them both sweet kisses on the head. “I love you, guys. Sweet dreams.”

With a soft smile, she turned off the television and went up to her bedroom, making sure the door was locked on her way. She entered her old bedroom, the place pretty well kept. She had her mom to thank for that. She changed out of her clothes, slipping on shorts and a thin shirt.

With sleepiness pooling in her eyes, she yawned and sat at her old desk. Everything was just as she left it. Her pens and pencils still in the cup in the corner, a pile of books still stacked off to the side. A notebook sat in the center and Y/N opened it, having forgotten what was written on its pages.

She chuckled as her eyes scanned each word. It was all just living expenses and plans for when she bought her apartment. She set a budget, and the organization made her giggle. What could she say? It helped her out more than she thought it would.

Closing the notebook, she looked around more. Scratches were on the wearing wood. A light bulb went off as she remembered the hidden compartment in the second drawer. She opened it up, taking out the wood covering to dig around through the neglected objects.

She pulled out a stack of pictures and small slips of paper. Setting them on top of her desk, she started going through. The words written across them making her heart beat faster. It was all messages she and Dave would write to each other during class so they didn’t get in trouble for talking.

The pictures were of them while they were dating. Polaroids with dates written on the trimming. There was one of her in a white t-shirt, her hair messy as the sunlight streaming in from the window ghosted over her face. It was one of the nights he stayed over after they made love. She remembered this morning. She remembered every moment she’d ever spent with him.

She heard a tapping at her window as she continued going through the pictures on her desk. Her head turned to glance at the window, the sky dark and snowing outside. She walked over to the window and pulled it open, a freezing breeze coming in as she looked down to see who was at her window.

She spotted the one person she’d been thinking of all day, blowing warm air into his large hands before looking up at her. “What do you want, Dave?”

“To talk. I'm coming up.” He shouted in a whisper, beginning to climb up the tree next to her window. Watching him brought back memories from her senior year. Most nights she couldn’t sleep or they wanted to see each other, he scaled the tree and walked across the roof to get to her window.

“No, Dave, I-”

He came up to her window, Y/N standing in front of it. “Please, Y/N. Let me come in.” He whispered, with hopeful eyes.

“Nope.” She stood arms crossed in front of the window, not moving an inch. “I don’t want to talk. I already told you this.”

“I don’t care. You need to hear this.”

“No, I don’t.”

Dave huffed. “Yes, you do. And if you won’t let me in, then I’ll just sit out here and talk to you.”

“Well, I’ll be standing right here, waiting for you to leave.”

He rolled his eyes, licking his lips before taking a deep breath. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. All that he’d been planning on saying all day was erased from his mind and now he was in front of her, opening and closing his mouth like a gaping fish.

“I don’t what to say. I had a plan, but now I’m stuck, so I’m just gonna wing it. I know that you don’t like me, that you might even hate me, but I didn’t mean to break your heart, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never wanted us to become this. In fact, I always wanted you and I to last. I always wanted you.”

She listened intently, the words settling in her heart. “Y/N, you were the first girl I’ve ever truly loved. No, you're the only girl I’ve ever truly loved and you’re the only one I will ever love. I’ve been thinking since that night, that I should’ve gone after you. I should’ve gotten out of my car and chased you into this house, holding you in my arms, telling you that I loved you and that I never stopped. As soon as you left, I realized what I’d done and what the consequences were as a result of my actions.

“I broke up with Aubrey after a few weeks of whatever was going on between us. I was miserable. I was always thinking of you. My thoughts of you kept me up every night. I would see something happen and I’d turn to tell you about it, but you weren’t there. You weren’t my right hand anymore. I would turn to push your hair behind your ear and kiss you because I never could get enough of you. All I want to do right now is kiss you with all my love because I’m still in love with you.”

Y/N’s eyes glossed over as did Dave’s, but she wasn't sure if it was because he was cold or because his heart was breaking as much as hers was. “No, Dave. You can’t do that. It’s not fair!” She exclaimed, walking away from the window. Dave took the opportunity to slip into the cold house, following behind her.

“You have to know. You have to know what I feel.” He grabbed her hand, spinning her around. “I still love you and I should’ve told you the night we broke up. If I did, then maybe you would still be mine. Maybe we would be living together and going to college. I should tell you that I’ve always loved you. You were always it for me, Y/N. And I hate that I needed distance to become wise enough to see understand my love for you.”

Y/N’s tears rolled down her cheeks, her eyes squinted slightly as she looked up at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I thought you hated me.”

“I did. I hated you for what you did to me, but I loved you for who you were even more, Dave. If you had come to me and told me this before I left, maybe you and I would’ve gotten back together. Maybe things would’ve been different.”

Dave nodded, holding her small hand in both of his. His fingers stroked her knuckles. He wanted to ask a question, but he was scared of what her answer would be. “Do you… do you still love me?”

Y/N stayed silent for a moment, not exactly knowing the answer herself until she thought it through. Did she? Did she still love him after all the time? Was it still possible for her to love him after he broke her heart? She looked down at the small hand of hers being held by his large ones before glancing up to see Dave looking down at her.

His eyes were full of hope. He needed her to love him back. He needed her to wrap her arms around him and kiss him like nothing had ever changed between them. As much as he wanted it, he knew he wouldn’t get it. He knew he wouldn’t get that kiss, that he wouldn’t get that warm embrace of hers. He knew he would never hold her again because it was different now. Everything changed because of what he did.

He pulled from her, thinking he had his answer. He held back his tears, sniffling as he nodded in understanding. He wiped his hands on his khakis, not having the courage to look at her.

“Dave…” She trailed off as he walked back over to the window.

“It’s okay, Y/N. I can’t take back what I did, I know that. I shouldn’t have come here.” He began to climb out the window, but she spoke again, stopping him in his tracks with what she said next.

“Dave, I love you.” She said. He looked back at her with glossy eyes, his vision blurring slightly. “I still love you. I know I probably shouldn’t, but I do.”

He sighed and walked back over to her in two quick strides, cupping her face in his large palms. He brought her mouth to his and pressed his lips against hers in a searing kiss that made her knees weak. It's been so long since he felt her lips against his. It's been far too long.

She wrapped her arms around his back, scratching at his clothed shoulder blades with her long fingernails. Dave tilted his head to the right, deepening the kiss they shared. His lips were cold and chapped against hers, but it was a feeling she couldn’t see herself ever getting sick of.

Her lips parted to allow him to slip his tongue into her mouth. The wet muscles glided against each other, the touch of another person, Dave’s touch making goosebumps appear on her skin. An awakened feeling lingered in her body, something she hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Undress me.”

“A-Are you sure? We’re not even official or anything at all. We’re not together.”

She shook her head. “I don’t care. I need you. I need to feel you like I used to.” He nodded and took off his jacket, throwing it onto the floor, his shirt coming off soon afterwards. She pulled the thin shirt she was wearing over her head.

The cold air from the open window drafted inside, hitting her nipples and making them hard. Dave looked up at her exposed upper body, her torso having more definition that it used to. She looked at his own abdomen, a patch of hair between his pectorals, the hair led down to the dark, curly hairs around his belly button and above the waistband of his pants.

“Kiss me.” She breathed out. He pulled her closer, cupping her face as he crashed his lips down to hers in a love filled haze. He walked her back to the bed, laying her down as he kissed her neck gently and lovingly. She sighed, her eyes closing as she held him closer, eager to feel his body against hers after so long apart.

He trailed down from her lips to her chest, pressing his lips to her skin sweetly. “You’re so beautiful. I didn’t know this was possible.” He mumbled, his teeth grazing against her soft flesh as he spoke.

He looked up at her, his fingertips sliding up her sides as he held her breasts in his warm palms. She arched into his hands, her eyes closing as his fingers rubbed circles at her hard nipples. She sighed deeply, Dave’s lips sucking at her collarbone, leaving love bites behind on her skin.

She opened her eyes, her hands reaching up to tug at the hair on the back of his head, her nails scratching at his scalp. She hooked her leg around his waist, smoothing the soft skin on the heel of her foot up and down his leg. She grabbed his hair and tilted his head to the side, looking into his eyes.

“I want you, Dave.” She whispered, kissing his bottom lip lazily while still maintaining eye contact. She heard a low groan roll off his tongue, felt it vibrate against her skin. The sound was so exciting and aroused it made the juices that leaked from her core soak her cotton panties. “Right now.”

“Are you one hundred percent sure that you want this? You want to be with me.” He asked, his voice fragile as he spoke to her.

She held his cheek in her hand, Dave cuddling into her warm palm. “Of course I do.” She cooed. “I mean, it’s you. You’re the one I love. The only one I could ever need.”

“But after what I did? I mean, do you still love me like you used to?”

“I’ll always love you… always and it’ll take time for me to completely forgive you, but I want you back. I want us back, Dave.”

He smiled softly, leaning up to kiss her lovingly. The exchange was slow and passionate, he rolled his hips into hers subconsciously, his clothed cock rubbing at her covered core. Her hands went down to the buckle of his belt and began to undo it. She soon unzipped and unbuttoned the khakis he was wearing.

Her soft hands slid to his hips, dipping her fingers underneath the elastic waistband as she pushed the rest of his clothing off. Dave toed off his shoes, hearing them softly drop to the carpeted flooring. He raised his body off of hers, holding himself up on his forearm as he helped her completely rid him of any clothes, his body bare above hers.

The soft sound of his hardened member slapping against his the lower part of his stomach sounded in the room. She kissed him and pushed his shoulders, switching the position of their bodies. She used her hands to support herself as she kept her lips pressed against his.

She smiled against his mouth as she straddled him, her pussy pressing against his cock. “I love you.” She muttered as she pulled away for air. Her nose pressed against his as he beamed at the three words she said to him.

He sat up and brought his hands to her waist and smoothed them down. He slid his fingers into her pyjama shorts, cupping her ass. “Take off the rest of your clothes.”

“Are you sure that you don’t want to do it?” She wrapped her arms around his neck and grinned, kissing his top lip gently.

Dave chuckled quietly. “You’re right.” He lifted her onto her knees, yanking the shorts and her panties off her body. She stripped herself of her remaining clothing and bit her bottom lip, watching as Dave admired her body. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to the scattered freckles on her chest.

She leaned her head back, sighing contentedly as her eyes fluttered closed. She gripped his shoulders, her nails digging into his back. Her need for him grew more intense as he licked at her neck. “I can’t wait any longer.” She groaned, pressing her hand against his chest and pushing him back onto the mattress.

Reaching over and pulling the handle of the drawer, Y/N began to shuffle her fingers around, looking for the foil packets that hadn’t been touched since the last time she was with Dave. She grabbed one out of the box and ripped the wrapper open with her teeth, spitting it onto the side of the bed.

She pumped his member a couple times before placing it on his tip, rolling the rubber onto his length. She lifted herself up on his knees, Dave’s large palms covering her waist. As she lowered herself on him, his size and girth stretched her out, a breathy moan falling from her lips.

“Oh, god.” He groaned loudly. She looked down at him and used her hand to cover his mouth.

“Be quiet. Mom and Molly are sleeping downstairs.” She whispered, setting her hand on his chest to stable herself. Her walls fluttered at the feeling of him inside her, his own cock throbbing within her.

She began to move, her hips rolled into his. Her hand still covered his mouth, the sounds he was making against her hand leaving vibrations against her palm. He kept his eyes on her, watching her facial expressions as she rode him. Her tits bounced with each movement and it had him reaching one of his hands up to fondle the mound on her chest.

“I missed you so much.” He said, his words muffled as his mouth was still covered.

“I missed you, too.” She sighed, her eyes closing as her head fell back. Her hair cascaded down her back, her nails leaving red welts as she scratched at his chest.

He grunted at the burn it left, setting his feet flat on the mattress. He lifted his hips off the bed, thrusting up into her and tapping her g-spot every time. “Baby, you feel better than I remember. So much better.”

She sighed, biting her lip to hold back her loud moans. Dave sat up and wrapped his arms around her body, his hands resting over the curve of her ass as he pressed his lips to her for the umpteenth time that night. After going so long without her kiss or without making love to her, he savored every movement they made together. He let it imprint and lock in his mind so that he wouldn’t ever forget.

“You’re so warm. So wet. So tight.” He growled against her lips, their mouths parted at they breathed in and out. “I can’t tell you how much I missed this. How much I missed you.”

She moved his head to the side, wrapping her lips around his earlobe to suck slowly and teasingly. He shuddered and buried his face into her neck, groaning against her sweaty skin.

Her arms slid under his arms, scratching at his back. He flipped their bodies, pinning her to the bed beneath him. Taking her leg in his large hand, he lifted her leg up to rest on his hip, his thrusts growing sloppy but somehow deeper and harder.

She clenched around him as he hit the deepest spots that resided inside of her. He leaned his head against her shoulder, watching as he pushed himself into her and pulled back out, his covered dick dripping with her sweet juices. He nipped the skin on her shoulder, licking against the red spot from where he bit down.

She held him close, her chest pressed against his as her breathing grew shallower. Her lungs burned with the need for oxygen, but the only thing in the cool winter air was the smell of sex and the emotions that came from both Dave and Y/N.

His hips snapped forwards, his pelvic bone knocking against hers as the tip of his cock twitched within her. “Oh, please, tell me you’re close.” He sighed.

“I’m so close. Rub my clit.”

He sucked his fingers into his mouth and brought them between her bodies, circling his pointer and middle finger around the bundle of nerves. His body was covered with perspiration, beads of sweat dripping down from his hairline. His face was flushed, his lips swollen and red from the heat the friction of their moving bodies created.

She whimpered and fell over the edge, her throat raw from the sounds she released and the ones she held back throughout the night. Her eyelids squeezed shut and her climax brought him to his own, his load spurting into the little bubble at the tip of the condom.

He shook like she did as he came, his mouth pressed against the side of her neck to keep his groans quiet. His name fell from her lips in desperate whispers, her hands gripping at the clammy flesh on his back.

Their dirty bodies worked together as they rode out their highs. He pulled from her, the exhausted feeling fall over the both of them like a warm and comforting blanket. He collapsed on the bed next to her, his shoulder pressed against hers.

Dave pulled off the soiled rubber and tied it off, throwing it into the garbage bin beside her nightstand. She turned onto her belly and laid her head on on his chest, her arm draped around his waist loosely. Her fingernails scratched at his skin comfortingly, her eyes closing as she listened to the soft thumping sound of his heartbeat.

He turned his head to the side, pressing his lips against her hairline before resting them there. The faint floral smell of her hair invaded his nose and soothed his nerves. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry for what I did.”

“I know. It’s going to take some time for me to completely trust you with my heart like I used to, but I forgive you. After everything we’ve been through, I forgive you.”

He smiled softly, squeezing her tightly. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, Dave.” She looked up at him, stroking lines on his side as she nodded slowly. “Just don’t give my heart away again.”

He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

what’d you think? let me know!

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[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 25th August 2019

Top 10

On the US Billboard Hot 100, after “Old Town Road” dissipated, they’ve been treated with a couple #1s switching in and out. “bad guy”, “Senorita” and probably “Truth Hurts” and unfortunately “Ransom” soon enough... while here in the UK, “Old Town Road” was only at the top spot for a week, and instead we’ve just had “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello for six straight weeks... Nice.

“Beautiful People” by Ed Sheeran featuring Khalid is at number-two still, and we actually have a pretty busy week that did not translate to the Top 10 – it never does.

“3 Nights” by Dominic Fike is steady at number-three but I’m not complaining; this song is great.

I’m not upset about the one-space boost for Kygo and the late Whitney Houston’s “Higher Love” either at number-four, it’s not a bad song and if anything I’m just excited to see Houston on the charts again.

AJ Tracey returns back to the top five with “Ladbroke Grove” up a spot to number-five.

Aitch’s newest major single, “Taste (Make it Shake)”, is down two spaces to number-six, but that’s still way too high. I honestly do not understand the appeal in this one, it’s not quirky or interesting, it’s over-long, it’s barely got a chorus. Out of all UK rap singles to hit the top 10, this is easily the most puzzling hit.

I’m also not exactly pleased about “Ransom” by Lil Tecca zooming up six spaces to become his first top 10 hit here in the UK... why?

Unfortunately, this means “How Do You Sleep?” by Sam Smith is down a spot to number-eight, and honestly this song is just growing on me.

Speaking of unfortunate, at number-nine is “So High” by MIST and Fredo, also down one space, and while I’m not that big of a fan of this song (Yet) or the discography in general, MIST has recently been stabbed, and he says he’s been recovering well, which is good, I just wanted to note that these things do happen to people who seem like they can’t be touched due to fame and success, especially recently. I hope he’s okay.

To elevate the mood, there is quite literally a Love Island anthem in the top 10, as Joel Corry and Hayley May get their first ever UK Top 10 hit with “Sorry” up six positions to #10. It’s not a bad song, but come on, guys, really?

Climbers

Outside of the Top 10, we have one climber and it’s not exactly notable either... Jax Jones and Bebe Rexha’s radio fodder “Harder” is up five spots to #25. I mean, when so much of the Top 40 is rap, I guess the radio’s got to have something to safely play without having their audience hear a bunch of censor bleeps every ten seconds.

Fallers

Now, we don’t exactly have many fallers, but a lot of them are very notable as these are massive hits dropping incredibly low, starting with #40 which is the top five hit “Location” by Dave featuring Burna Boy down a whopping twenty-three spaces and barely gripping onto that last spot in the chart, after having a brief rebound thanks to the video. While I prefer “Disaster”, “Streatham”, “Black” and pretty much all the songs on PSYCHODRAMA, I’m so happy that Dave and his album have had so much longevity and chart success considering how great this album is (Since this does seem to be the end of the album cycle). This year’s been very kind to British rap both mainstream and underground (Check out Little Simz, she’s mind-blowing) and this is definitely one of the achievements the genre can display proudly. Other than that, we have another top 10 hit in Sigala’s “Wish You Well” featuring Becky Hill dropping down 14 spaces to #38, as well as the faller I’m obviously the happiest about. Despite the fact there might be a rebound due to a video release, I’m going to live in blissful ignorance about that, since “Hold Me While You Wait” by Lewis Capaldi, which has been the worst song in the top 20 for like three straight months, is out of the top 20, falling 17 positions to #26. It’s not out of the chart entirely, but I’ll take it. Oh, and “Panini” by Lil Nas X is down five spaces to #36 but Thog don’t caare

Dropouts & Returning Entries

There aren’t any returning entries this week but since there are five new arrivals, there are obviously quite a lot of drop-outs. “Find U Again” by Mark Ronson featuring Camila Cabello is one of them, dropping out of the charts entirely from #37, which really sucks because that song is amazing. Otherwise, we have some notable but very much expected drop outs for “SOS” by the late Avicii featuring Aloe Blacc and its impressive chart run from #32, “You Need to Calm Down” by Taylor Swift out from #38 (God, what an awful song), “Vossi Bop” by Stormzy finally out from #39 (Although I think that song is great actually) and off of the sole debut last week, we have “Hot Girl Summer” by Megan Thee Stallion, Nicki Minaj and Ty Dolla $ign out from #40. I know American female rappers haven’t exactly crossed over here yet but I thought this would have least lasted a week, and it is a pretty damn good song, it’s got a video coming soon though so we’ll see what that’ll do.

NEW ARRIVALS

#34 – “Post Malone” – Sam Feldt featuring Rani

Produced by Sam Feldt – Peaked at #7 in Ireland

Sam Feldt is an irrelevant Dutch DJ, to put it bluntly. Two years ago, he made a song with Akon and that was his second biggest hit until 2019, second to his only actual hit, may I add. So, what better way to make a name for yourself in America than to go viral with a meme song that references pop culture and has a drop expressive enough for TikTok. Indeed, it worked, he was on the top of the Spotify Viral 50 with “Post Malone”, because if you want to keep your target white audience as an EDM-pop or rock artist, the only hip-hop artist you can seemingly admit to liking is Post Malone. Even the Jonas Brothers are shouting them out in (Absolutely dreadful) hit songs like “Cool”. It didn’t even work, by the way, it barely peaked in the top 10 of the American dance charts but it worked on like all of Europe, especially on the chart that isn’t actually in the EU, technically, maybe. Funnily enough, it’s not that big of a hit in his home country of the Netherlands, peaking at #85. I don’t know who RANI is, do you? Listen, it’s Feldt’s second UK Top 40 hit, his first since 2015, and it’s from his Magnets EP. RANI is a female singer who seems to specialise in being a puppet for EDM DJs, and had  a minor hit doing so with “Crying with the Sun” last year, but this is her first appearance on the UK Top 40. Hiring RANI seems to be the cheap option compared to an actual celebrity, the girl doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page, and the whole song in fact is really cheap, with a couple 2014-esque synths carrying a flat, tinny EDM beat until that chorus hits, and Jesus, this song was not meant to ever have “Post Malone” in the lyrics. It’s lodged in that chorus with all the care of a bull in a china shop with crowd cheering in the background before the generic build-up of hi-hats until a pretty simple vocaloid drop and yeah, I question why anyone thinks this song is worth listening to. The drop ends abruptly with literal silence instead of even transitioning into the verse all that well, which is lazy and nonsensical on his part because he’s going to have to transition this into other songs in a DJ set, he wants that to be smooth. Yeah, skip this, it’s trash, which is exactly what I expected.

#30 – “Motivation” – Normani featuring uncredited vocals by Ariana Grande

Produced by ILYA – Peaked at #20 in Belgium and Scotland, and #33 in the US

Fifth Harmony’s disbandment let one star really get a lot of shine, and that was Camila Cabello, who is still gathering a lot of success to this day, but what I didn’t expect is a push towards another pop girl with Normani, whose debut solo single has been racking up a lot of streams and chart success pretty much worldwide. It’s not that massive yet but it does have the potential to be, especially with the high-profile collaborations like Khalid and Sam Smith that Normani has been greeted with this past year by her label, so it seemed inevitable. I fully expected Normani to go the R&B route, probably a more throwback 90s style, and yeah, I was right, but I really didn’t expect a song this good. Written by Normani herself with Ariana Grande, ILYA and Max freaking Martin, this song is an earworm determined for success, and has hence become Normani’s third UK Top 40 single. Starting with an intriguing Ariana Grande-esque voice memo of some sort, it immediately lands into the bass-lead R&B beat that feels 90s and 2000s at the same time yet definitely modern due to Normani’s sultry vocals, but in the chorus, the kiss-off lead by harmonies and subtle background vocal samples from Grande feels very anthemic and almost sarcastic. I do feel like maybe it’s a bit too minimalistic of a debut single, but there are a lot of little quirks, including the eerie Caribbean vocal sample in the bridge coupled with a smooth horn section, and I don’t have much to say about this one evidently, but it succeeds on every level at just being a pretty perfect pop song. The idea of Normani telling her ex to “Think about it” afterwards isn’t a pledge from Normani here, though, it seems very much like she’s bragging and telling this guy to re-consider the fact that he dumped someone with a net worth more than his lifetime salary, it’s almost kind of hilarious how she sasses this guy around, especially in the verses. The title seems to be based around the fact that the guy ever had a girl as good as her... which is considered “motivation”. Well, that’s just pretty epic. Yeah, great song, and I’m really excited for whatever Normani does next.

#23 – “Lover” – Taylor Swift

Produced by Jack Antonoff and Taylor Swift – Peaked at #4 in Malaysia and #19 in the US

Ah, Taylor Swift and the messy roll-out of her newest album, Lover, which I have yet to really form an opinion on but it’s gotten a lot of positive reviews which I didn’t expect because of the absolute trainwrecks that were released as singles, such as “ME!” which the general public soon showed their distaste for, so much so that Swift had to edit out the most cringeworthy lyrics, “You Need to Calm Down” which had a very polarising reception mostly because of how people believed she was pandering to the LGBTQ+ community with the music video, and had some cringeworthy lyrics there too, but it was a bit more positive. Then things took a large turn for the better with the release of the promotional single “The Archer”, which a lot of people loved and seemed to think was a return to form, but I wasn’t impressed. It was boring, and while the songwriting is good, when there’s not a musical climax, it feels like a lot of wasted time and overall, the song feels like an overproduced synth-mush and I was really not a fan of that one, but it wasn’t awful... and it only peaked at #43 here. Then she released this song, which seemed to have shifted the public opinion on the album entirely, even among critics, because it’s a Jack Antonoff-produced return to the country pop sound of her previous work, and while “You Need to Calm Down” might have been pandering to LGBTQ+, I think this should be clowned more for pandering to Pitchfork, but I digress. Is the song any good? Well, it’s her 27th(!) UK Top 40 hit, and it might as well have convinced me too... mostly because this is a Christmas song – albeit a bit more of a intimate, downbeat, guitar-lead country ballad of a Christmas song, but with a direct reference to the holiday, I know what she’s going for. She sounds a lot better on the song than usual, I’m not a fan of Swift’s voice in general but she definitely uses it to her advantage here, staying mostly subdued on the verses until an admittedly janky pre-chorus, until that title drop, which is fantastic, especially with the bells and guitar that follows but honestly, the star here isn’t Swift. It’s the string section and the choir, who elevate that pre-chorus with a lot of cheery vocals and the plucky strings in both the bridge and the brief burst of violins in the second verse, really emphasise the lyrical theme of devotion. While I dispute the fact that Taylor Swift has ever heard a dirty joke in her life that wasn’t made by Kanye West, that bridge is incredible, and honestly this whole song is pretty great, and I think THIS is the return to form she needed. There’s a lot of genuine groove and swing to this ballad and the chorus is heavenly, and may I say that the cover art fits perfectly. This is good, check it out, next.

#22 – “Both” – Headie One

Produced by Nastylgia and PJ Pipe it Up

I’m going to be honest here; from what I’ve heard from Headie One, I don’t really like the guy. I don’t think he’s as witty or entertaining as his peers and more often than not, he’s just a tad dull, but with his seventh mixtape release, Music x Road, I have been somewhat intrigued to check it out since NME described it as “far from drill”, which means he is branching out and this could either be a surprise success or complete wretched failure. I believe this is Headie’s third UKTop 40 hit and, well, to be honest, it’s not that bad. I love that guitar loop, it sounds straight out of the intro to a metal song, and the way it’s pitch-shifted to act as an eerie synth is pretty cool when it gets to the verse; if I’m honest this trap beat is pretty great... and so is Headie. To say he doesn’t ride this beat would be a lie, I don’t like the guy that much but he bodies this, not with much wordplay obviously but his delivery is tough and very straight to the point, no-nonsense, which is interesting when being put against the gospel choir sample which is absolutely mangled and just kind of placed every couple bars, and it sounds great, really intense. I’m not sure how I feel about that bridge though, the subdued, mumbling flow with the distortion and Auto-Tune sounds cool but it kills the momentum and doesn’t really fit with the guitar-lead trap beat. I’d prefer maybe to get rid of that part entirely and just have the beat cut out for the start of the chorus without the transition, or have Headie harmonise with the sample from “Free” by Ultra Nate, that could have sounded pretty cool. As it is, it still bangs, and looking at the lyrics there’s a lot of detail I don’t usually see, and somehow he made peanut butter on oats sound cool, so you know what, Headie, I like this one. Check it out.

#18 – “Be Honest” – Jorja Smith featuring Burna Boy

Produced by Cadenza and IzyBeats

Jorja Smith has had a pretty quiet 2019. After 2018 and her BRIT Award wins and impressive performance, she’s understandably laid low with only a couple of features including one on my favourite British rapper Loyle Carner’s second album, but this seems to be the birth of the roll-out for her sophomore effort, or at least a standalone single. I didn’t really like Jorja Smith because I knew her for her EDM collaborations but after listening to Lost & Found, I’m not going to lie, I really enjoyed her UK garage and trip hop-infused brand of R&B, especially the single “Blue Lights” and her sample on AJ Tracey’s banger “Ladbroke Grove”, which added to the song immensely. A new song from Jorja won’t connect with me at first, they never do, she’s one of the artists who has to grow on me, but I like Burna Boy to an extent so I doubt this’ll be any less than decent... and yeah, it’s not bad. I like the sweet guitar and synths/flute(?) that start off the song as the primary melody (which I believe is a sample) and the steady drum beat adds to the tropical, summery feeling of the track. Jorja sounds great as always, with a pretty sensual performance she can do pretty well, but the chorus is pretty weak and I feel a tad underwritten. Burna Boy’s verse is pretty fun and bouncy but this isn’t standing out to me as anything that great initially. It’s definitely not bad, but underwritten and a tad sub-par perhaps. Also, I like the horns in the final chorus but it’s too little too late at that point.

Conclusion

Honestly, this is a pretty great week on the chart, with four out of five new arrivals that I quite enjoy, and the Summer-Autumn transition is looking good. Best of the Week is tough but I’ll give it to Taylor Swift for “Lover” – hey, I’m a sucker for Christmas songs – and a tied Honourable Mention to Normani and Headie One for “Motivation” and “Both”, while there’s nothing worth a Dishonourable Mention here other than our Worst of the Week, going to Sam Feldt and RAMI for whatever “Post Malone” is. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week!

[laellaescribe]

That Lying Bitch - A Review

At first glance, you might assume that a band named That Lying Bitch is made up of pretty mean dudes (or some really self-aware ladies). The truth is, TLB is made up of 4 talented, kind, and honest-as-hell gentlemen from Chicago, IL.

Previously only having released 4 singles, an album of 10 cohesive songs has been long awaited by fans. And that time has come.

The self-titled album takes the listener through all 7 stages of a breakup (though maybe not exactly in order). As cited here, TLB was formed after lead singer Darren Vorel’s not-so-pretty breakup, and the songs show it.

We open with a song about fun, which is a genius move. The video for ‘I’ve Been Doing Fun Shit Without You’ (here) is free spirited, and exactly what everyone aspires to feel like after a breakup. Vorel sings about all the great things he’s doing without this girl who’s done him wrong.

He does let a bit of transparency leak through in the second verse: “She’s not the one/she’s a runner up/’cause you threw my fuckin’ love away,” but quickly recovers with the line, “But I’m no longer alone.” It’s a theme that recurs throughout the album: Well, maybe I don’t have you anymore, but I’m definitely doing better than you are.

“Girls are comin’ over/And I’m crying on their shoulders,” Vorel admits in another moment of transparency in ‘Fun Shit’, presumably telling his ex that he’s sad, sure, but that’s not stopping him; nothing is.

‘How Am I Supposed to Hate You When I Love You’, shortened often to ‘Hate/Love’ on TLB’s set lists, might be one of the most relatable songs on this album for those of us who have had our hearts broken in any situation. While some of TLB’s music feels very specific to Vorel’s breakup, Hate/Love is something we can all understand: You did me wrong, you’re wrong for me, but I want you back anyway. 

The sound in these first two songs is similar, and I’d venture to guess that Vorel wrote them closely together, and shortly after the breakup. They were the first two videos released on the band’s YouTube channel as well. They are loud, fast, and downright hard. 

The vibes of both ‘Fun Shit’ and ‘Hate/Love’ are angry, vengeful, a little bit sad, and just what you want to listen to when you’re pissed off, driving around, thinking about that person who not only broke your heart, but also stomped on it and maybe caught it on fire a few times.

Where the first two tracks are loud and angry, ‘Cum Get Yr Shit’ is honestly kind of a bop in comparison. The feeling of not being able to let go because “You’re everywhere I look/you’re everything I see” is so brutally transparent. At first listen, I thought, “Why didn’t he just mail it all back to her?”

But it’s more than that. There’s so much - beyond just the “book on fashion” and the “hairties and panties,” there’s the feeling that if she wants her shit back, then she needs to come get it and, honestly, face what she’s left behind. It would be so easy to get rid of it - mail it, burn it, donate it, whatever - but if she comes to get her own stuff, maybe she’ll come back. Or maybe she’ll still leave, but she’ll feel a little worse about it.

Come get your shit - and face what you’ve done at the same time.

“You’ve Been Telling Lies to My Best Friend’s Girlfriend” takes us back to the anger, and the heavy sound. And honestly, this song is a shock at this point in the album. Where before this, we’re led to believe that this girl who has left, has done so without a second thought, now suddenly she’s still involved. 

And she’s really pissed Vorel off, it seems, by running in the same circles, which is just plain not cool - if you do wrong, then you don’t get to keep the friends I introduced you to. And you definitely don’t get to talk to them about me. 

Besides, as the song goes, “I’d rather hear that shit from you.”

Full transparency here, I have a special fondness for the next song on the album, ‘Drinks On Me’. Those of you who have read previous blog posts know that I once took a road trip from my hometown in Southeastern Pennsylvania to the suburbs of Chicago to see TLB perform and film a video. Though the video hasn’t been released (ahem), this is the song in question. So, I’ve got a lot of totally not objective love for this jam.

‘Drinks’ is the night at the bar with all your friends where you literally just want to drink and forget. And you know it’s not gonna be any better tomorrow, you know it’s not gonna hurt any less tomorrow, but tonight you can dull the pain. How? “About a thousand shots” - or, if we’re being true to the TLB brand, a whole lot of Old Style. 

“I never knew it was so easy to break my heart,” gives the same sense of sadness we see throughout the album: How could she do this? I don’t understand. But, for tonight, the rest of the song tells us, it’s okay, because we’re just gonna get wasted.

The next track, right smack dab in the middle of the album, has a very simple message: “I miss the shit out of you.”

Both the title and essentially the only line of the song, it feels like Vorel is back in his ‘Hate/Love’ mindset: angry at himself and at the girl, and not sure who’s more to blame at this point. We all want our feelings to sort themselves out after a breakup, particularly a traumatic and dramatic one, but sometimes all you can do is just admit that you have no idea what the next step is.

And, honestly, that’s okay.

‘We Are Getting Back Together in 2000 Never’ and ‘Coverband’ come as a matched pair for me. The sound is similar, the message is similar. The most recent additions to the final lineup for the album, they show a ton of growth in attitude, and honestly in songwriting. I love this whole album - there I go, not being objective again - but these two songs are far and away the best, the most truthful, and the most creative.

‘2000 Never’ features the bop sound of ‘Yr Shit’ but with a much larger sense of closure. “Cause I’ll be somewhere movin’ on/Drivin’ with my music on/You’ll be just some girl I left behind me” is probably the most iconic line of the album. Maybe we haven’t totally left this girl behind just yet, but the future is clear, and she’s not in it.

Bassist Dave Tirio (rhythm guitar + backup vocals for the Plain White T’s) offers us some deep, rough backup vocals for this song that provide an incredible contrast to Vorel’s smooth, high singing. Tirio’s voice finds its home here on the the song you’re most likely to dance to, and the grittiness works so well against the rest of the happy beat of the song.

‘Coverband,’ as a whole, is quite possibly the most brutal song of this album. If someone wrote this song about me, I’d never want anyone to know it. It’s harsh, it’s angry, and it’s almost calm in its revenge. ‘Coverband’ is that person who never yells, but instead just stares you down and lets you know how angry they are while keeping their tone completely even. And maybe cocks an eyebrow at how absolutely stupid you are.

“You left a headliner for a coverband,” Vorel sings. Here, the theme of, “I may not have you anymore, but I’m doing better than you” morphs into, “Oh, and I was always better, and you’re kind of a fool for tossing it out the window, so good luck with that.”

From the title ‘I Can’t Wait Till You Get Dead,’ you’ll think I misspoke when I called ‘Coverband’ the most brutal song of the album. But ‘Get Dead’ is pure hatred and anger in comparison to ‘Coverband’s quiet acceptance. 

‘Get Dead’ is the moment you found out that she lied about cheating on you. It’s yelling and screaming and dishes thrown at walls. It’s fighting where the rest of the album has been leading up to being done fighting. This sudden turn of events is shocking to the system at first listen, but it fits quite well in its place here at the tail end of the album. It’s the culmination of all these other feelings, these other songs of anger, of sadness, of hatred, of regret.

‘Get Dead’ is the moment when you aren’t struggling to hate her anymore, when you don’t miss the shit out of her anymore, when you just want her to go the fuck away. 

Which is why the album has to end quietly.

‘Totally Fucked for You’ is the only acoustic song on TLB’s self-titled record, featuring only handclaps and a guitar to go along with Vorel’s quiet crooning.

Placing this song after the anger of ‘Get Dead’, after the acceptance of ‘Coverband’ is a bold choice, since it seems like a few steps backwards in the breakup grieving process. 

But the beautiful thing about an album is that it plays again. (Or, in my case, again and again and again). So where ‘Totally Fucked’ may seem like an unhappy ending, it’s really just another step in the cycle. And at some point, the cycle has to end, right? So while right now, we’re totally fucked for this person who stomped on our hearts and set them on fire, at some point, we’ll just go back to doing fun shit without them.

That Lying Bitch will be appearing at Slidebar Rock N Roll Kitchen in Los Angeles, CA for a free show on Wednesday October 18th. Details here.

[bdamantherapper]

BDaMan’s Show Log: 4/12/2019

*The following takes place on Friday, April 12th, 2019.* 8:40am - After hitting snooze on my alarm plenty of times, I think it's finally time to get moving. 10:14am - As I'm deciding on what to do for the day, I think about how just days ago, there wasn't any snow on the ground and now days later, here we are. I very rarely this close this, but I tend to have issues with being motivated during the winter time. Case in point being the winter of 2017 (My song, "Beauty In The Struggle" comes from that winter). When it's consistently cloudy and all you see is snow for a bulk of the year, it makes it difficult on some days to get up and get out and just get moving. 11:30am - Considering I don't currently have any form of caffeine nor any easy options for lunch, I think it’s time to go back to sleep for a little nap. If I’m gonna rock the stage tonight, I need to get my body decently rested.  2:45pm – Slept a little longer than I planned, but I feel a lot better than I was this morning. Time to get a little bit of lunch – or more of a mini-snack at this point. As I’m coming back from the gas station, I noticed the music manager/homie, Jeff called me a couple of times. Phone was on silent, so I didn’t even see he called. After about 5 minutes after I called him back, he calls back and we chat about the show among other things. Sounds like he’s equally ready for tonight as well. 4:17pm - Dee messages all of us who are doing the show tonight, just to run down a few extra details for the show. B Dot (B.Allen) and I previously met Dee at a show we all did together, coincidentally enough at Club Underground back in 2016.  4:41pm - My lovely girlfriend, Nikki texts me, wishing me luck on tonight's show. Her “Break a leg at your shoe” typo had me cracking up once I re-read it. 5:27pm - To go along with my shirt choice for tonight, I'm getting in that zone by watching some DX stuff! A now-Hall of Fame group in WWE has been a big inspiration for B Dot and I throughout the years (no matter how much B Dot hates on Triple H...) in various ways. Soon enough, it'll be time to ask myself those three words that Triple H asks before that infamous intro. 6:47pm – B Dot lets me know he’s running behind with various errands, so getting there closer to 7:30 would be best. Shortly after, I give Jeff a call to update him on getting to B Dot’s and he gets ready to leave to pick me up. 7:33pm - Jeff is outside, meaning it's time to head to B Dot's, but first a pit stop to get some energy drinks. Also, I know we're late if B Dot is asking where we at lol. 8pm – We’ve arrived at B Dot’s! As usual, his crazy (but great) dog, Nina is hyper at the arrival of people. B Dot, Jeff and I chatted about a good amount of things from tonight’s show, current music (local and non-local) to the eventual Madden rematch that B Dot and Jeff have to have. 8:45pm – It’s about that time! Posse out! En route to the venue. 8:50pm - I'm pretty sure B Dot and Melanie are gonna beat us to the show lol. The GPS gave us the longer way to the venue. 9:05pm - We all have arrived in our separate cars! We actually got there the same time that B Dot and Melanie got there. Right when we walk downstairs to the venue portion, we immediately see Dee and chat it up with him, thanking him again for the opportunity. Shortly after, we briefly chat with Josh (Booker at Club Underground) while he’s checking our IDs. As he does a double take at our IDs (due to the same government name/different spelling thing), I remind him that he previously met us in July of 2017 after the last Club Underground show we did with Breakneck. I take a brief separate moment to check in on him, as he was recently in the hospital for a few health related things. He seems to be in positive spirits, so that’s definitely a plus! 9:25pm - Never have I rushed so fast to get a beer...I'm hoping this future investment is worth it. I can’t disclose too much of it at the moment, but this idea that Jeff has is a bit out of my price bracket right now. 9:40pm - In an effort to fix up my mood, I decide to chat with B Dot and Melanie. I give B Dot a brief general idea about Jeff’s future investment idea, and while he’s all for it, he also brings up a very solid point: we have to get back to basics first and foremost by linking up more with each other (and other music oriented people) and create music first, worry about other things later. 10:06pm - Ben Jammin K is up now. He has a very similar style that reminds me of another music acquaintance.  10:23pm - Mistah is up now. I’ve known of Mistah for awhile now, but hadn’t met him officially until this show. Glad to put a face to the social media presence I’ve seen. I’m digging the music I’m hearing from him! 10:50pm - Verb is up now. I really dig his style – raw and rugged, but still pretty chill with the bars. A hybrid West Coast-East Coast vibe! 11:12pm - Synergy Centric is up now. The show is moving along pretty fast and smooth! Pretty soon, I gotta get myself in that zone... 11:29pm - Dee lets B Dot and I know that we're up immediately after Synergy Centric's last song. Time to throw these shades on and do the damn thang! 11:50pm - And another show down! Aside from a sound mishap, we left our all on the stage! We literally left our voices on the stage, which is a first for myself in awhile and a first for B Dot. In the words of Dave Chapelle, “Modern problems require modern solutions.” Time to get home, eat and rest my voice...

[snowbellewells]

“Sunset on the Water”

(Hello all!  I’m back with my last CS wedding themed story for this little lead-up celebration I’m having.  I wrote this one last summer, so all of the things that had happened in show canon at the end of season five have happened here, but it isn’t long after the finale, so either Killian or Emma one decided not to dawdle as long, and they’re already getting married here. I know this isn’t the way it will go tomorrow, though I’m sure I’ll love that even more in its own way – but I would still love to hear what you think!  I’m sure part of this come from my love of Disney’s “The Little Mermaid”.  I’ve always imagined Emma and Killian having a sunset wedding on the Jolly like the one in the movie.  Enjoy!)

“Sunset on the Water”

By: TutorGirlml (snowbellewells)

             He could never in his wildest flights of fancy have imagined this day, this woman, this much happiness, coming to him. Killian Jones, dressed in the proud naval finery he had donned so long ago as a bright-eyed, hopeful young lieutenant, stood at the helm of his ship, Swan’s lad at his elbow, minutes from marrying his True Love.  In all those years he’d spent lost in Neverland seeking the weapon to make avenging Milah possible, before that in all his years as a pirate, flouting the crown and taking what he pleased, and even longer ago, in his eternity as a slave to Captain Silver, forgotten and worn, breaking his back and scrubbing floors on his knees, beaten, ridiculed, and abused when he was noticed at all, never could he have dared to hope that he would someday win the favor and hand of a princess.

           Henry chose that moment to nudge his soon-to-be stepdad’s shoulder, whispering in Killian’s left ear with a certain smile in his voice. “I’m glad you finally asked her, Killian,” and though it sounded as if the young man were teasing him for the hesitance he had felt, knowing that Emma loved him but not sure whether she would want marriage or not, he also heard the sincerity and genuine love in the young man he considered a son’s voice.  “I knew she’d say ‘yes’… You’ve changed her, Killian, for the better. And you both deserve to have this day, before something else goes wrong.”

           A small snort of humorous recognition at the truth in Henry’s words nearly escaped through Killian’s nose, but he managed to hold back as the music swelled and everyone on deck came to their feet at the first strains of the wedding march. In the next moment, his eyes became irrevocably fixed on the bit of movement he saw emerging on stairs up from the cabins.

           When Emma’s golden curls wreathed by a crown of flowers as they had been in Camelot, though styled in more structured ringlets that curlicued over her shoulders and down her back, appeared in his vision, she literally stole his breath.  Holding tremulously to her father’s arm, Emma stepped up onto the deck stunning in her beauty.  The dress she wore – purest white and reminding him of the graceful bird her name suggested, despite her arguments against being so fussy and so traditional – was perfect, giving her the look of some beguiling nymph.  The neckline was wide, baring her smooth, flawless shoulders, and the long, belled sleeves were mere gauzy confections, as sleek and elegant as the rest of the straight, simple gown which trailed to her feet with only a modest train skimming the wooden planks behind her.  He was shocked to see that a few tears had already escaped and dried on her face, somehow having suspected that he would be the overtly emotional one – not his brash, fearless lass.

           Unconsciously, Killian nearly moved toward her, eager to wrap Emma in his arms, to soothe and reassure, but he remembered himself in the nick of time, the ceremony already in progress and their loved ones watching. Her father was with her after all, and so he held his stance and his breath, anxious for her to take her place at his side.

           In the first row of folding chairs bedecked with bows, Snow White grinned at him as if she had read his mind and approved of the urge to support and to strengthen.  Her daughter had been without another to lean on for far too long, and the reformed captain could see in the lovely royal’s tear-filled eyes that she wanted nothing more from her daughter’s mate than for him to always protect Emma and put her first. Though the bandit queen had been disapproving at first and slow to warm to him, even after Emma had made her choice clear, Snow had long since welcomed him with open arms.  In fact, as they had come to know each other better, Killian could see that, improbable as it might seem, he and Emma’s mother were quite similar in many surprising regards; just as Emma favored her father in both looks and demeanor and in life often charged forth in a manner which clearly echoed Prince Charming himself.  After realizing it, he and Emma had chuckled over the resemblances, hearts warmed by what seemed yet another sign of how well-matched they were, that they had always been meant to find each other and patch one another back together. ‘Quite a team’ indeed, his mind echoed, flashing back for a fond moment to their very first adventure.

           Once her father began to lead Emma forward, Killian could see his love draw a deep breath and straighten her shoulders perceptibly, moving without any more hesitation into her new life – their future.  And after that, even if she was clutching Dave’s arm, Emma appeared to fairly float down the aisle they had made of the Jolly’s topside, and a tingle began under his skin in anticipation of being next to her once more.

           The prince and his daughter reached the bow where Killian, Henry (gamely chosen as both best man and man of honor) and Belle, who had read up and gotten licensed online to serve as their officiant, stood. Dave shot him a gently warning yet playfully fond look, and Killian read it all too well and returned it with an eloquently arched brow and a smile of his own.  He realized that Emma’s old-fashioned, protective father had to find some way to warn the pirate just once more that if he ever broke his daughter’s heart, he would make him regret it.  Yet, that was tempered considerably by the fact that Killian knew Dave had come to hold him in high regard and by the genuine friendship which had formed between them.  He never could have imagined that his nettling statement of winning the Prince over back in Neverland would so fully come true.

           The royal gave him a small nod, understanding the look Killian sent back, and carefully placed Emma’s hand in Killian’s waiting grasp. Then he pulled her in for a fatherly kiss to the forehead, his hand cradling the back of her head protectively as he had both when Emma was an infant and he’d had to put her in the wardrobe and every time she had given him the chance since they’d been reunited. It took a moment before the man released his daughter again, and Killian felt a lump rise in his throat at the watery sheen in Prince Charming’s eyes.

           That done, however, Dave didn’t hesitate again.  He merely clasped Killian’s shoulder firmly, held his gaze, and then nodded his approval and turned to take his seat next to Snow, after stating with absolute certainty and warmth, “Her mother and I do” when Belle asked, “Who gives this woman in marriage?”

           The rest of the ceremony proceeded with the sort of blissful perfection Killian had not believed possible in generally chaotic Storybrooke.  The vows washed over him; the thoughts of joining his life together with his True Love, “ ‘til death do they part, in sickness and in health, as long as they both shall live”, no one to come between them, be it curse or villain or simple human misunderstanding, made him almost giddy with a level of joy he could not remember feeling before.  It was all he could do to respond sensibly without whooping and hollering his deep delight, sweeping Emma up in his arms and twirling her around before the entire crowd.  Instead, he nodded solemnly when Belle paused for his response, answered surely and steadily, “I do”, and beamed only at Emma, sure that she at least could see the boundless heights of his exhilaration.

           His very own Savior, his brave, bright love, did indeed return his gaze with a knowing, small smirk on her face, and her jade eyes sparkled as if telling him she knew his secret – at least until it was her own turn to repeat her affirmation of the marriage vows.  Her smile did not fade, but her voice quavered slightly, a faint mist of tears in her eyes, and Killian was pierced to the core by the fervency of her emotion when she swore “I do” as well.

           The power of their feelings and their connection only swelled, almost vibrating in the air around them – to Killian’s senses at least – as they were instructed to place the rings they had brought onto each other’s fingers.  The sense of completion that filled his being as Liam’s resized ring slipped into its perfect place on her left hand,  made it as though everything in his world, all the trials before and the challenges to come, slid into place.  This was precisely where they both belonged and were always meant to be.  

           Similarly, when Emma slid the heavy platinum band, a large aquamarine stone and what appeared as rolling waves engraved on it, which she had worked with the dwarves to design, onto the corresponding finger of his right hand, it was he who fought back tears, nearly overwhelmed and brought to his knees by the beauty and significance of the moment.  He wore no other rings on that hand anymore; Emma having finally convinced him that he was the man he had always intended to be – a man of incredible honor – and he no longer needed to carry those reminders and the weight of their guilt and pain. They had discussed if he wished to wear it on a chain around his neck, as she had done in Camelot, or if he wanted to put the ring on the fake hand he could wear in place of his hook, but he wanted such a vial sign of their love and their permanent bond on a real and vital part of him, where it would be always in his sight and visible to others as well.  He was hers, just as she was his, and he wanted the world to know.

           It only added to the unbelievable sense of excitement and bubbling good humor when he could practically feel Henry snickering quietly over his shoulder and the warmth of their gathered loved ones’ laughter and smiles as well.  For a moment, Killian wondered almost dazedly if they could all read his mind, or if somehow his feelings were so immense, so powerful, that they could not be contained within and they were escaping to float in the air where all could see and experience them.  Then he realized it was much simpler.  He hadn’t let go of Emma’s hand since they’d put the rings on each other’s fingers, and without even realizing he was doing so, he had been pulling her closer and leaning into her as well, as inexorably as if drawn by a magnet, until Belle with a playful smile on her lips and a light blush high on her cheeks cleared her throat and said, “Since it would appear our groom is about to do so with or without prompting, I believe I should hurry to pronounce you now husband and wife.”

           Emma’s cheeks flushed an adorably bright shade of pink as the group observing did laugh aloud at Belle’s gentle remonstrance and then broke into genuine applause as Killian pulled Emma into his arms and she went willingly, eagerly, every bit as glad as he to at last be pledging their troth, no longer to be parted.

           He bent her backward in a deep, graceful dip, making Emma feel like the heroine in one of those romantic comedy movies she’d taken home from the Redbox in another life, after bringing in a particularly tricky skip. She’d watched them alone with a bag of Oreos in her pjs, never willing to admit she liked or wanted any part of such romance, and had mocked such tales if they ever came up in conversation, convinced that love didn’t exist in the real world.  Their lips met and all those around them, the ceremony itself and the deck they stood on, all faded away as she was swept up in the sensation.  It wasn’t until she felt what seemed like fireworks and starlight popping and blazing that she had to open her eyes, even as a burst of power rocked the boat and nearly knocked her off her feet, making her cling even more tightly to Killian’s shoulders.

           Blinking, stunned to near disbelief, Killian realized they had just shared that ultimate True Love’s kiss Emma’s parents had made famous, and one more look into Emma’s wide, awestruck eyes told him she had realized the same.  

           Henry’s voice called out then, as the lad’s hand shook his shoulder, pointing out over the rail to a huge, colorfully stunning rainbow arching over the water to the horizon.  “Mom! Killian!” he exclaimed, the true believer’s enthusiasm brimming in his voice. “Your kiss did that!”

           And as the waves rolled, more strongly than they had before, and they turned to look at their loved ones gathered to celebrate with them for the first time as husband and wife, Killian knew they would always be one, two wounded hearts molded together to heal.  When a phone rang as he and Emma started down the aisle, the pirate’s eyes quickly spotted Leroy ending his call and already gathering his breath to sound whatever alarm was needed.

           Raising his hand, as Emma was holding his hook in her own, he stopped the self-appointed town crier.  “Not this time, Dwarf,” he growled, only half kidding, as Leroy swallowed hard enough to make clear he knew it.  “My wife will not be robbed of her reception, her honeymoon, and all of the wonderful moments she well deserves to have and look back on. Whatever it is, you shall have to manage without us just this once.”

           To everyone’s surprise, Leroy’s gruffly offered the smallest of awkward bows and shot him a half-grin in response.  “You know, Captain, you’ve got a point.  This one’s on us.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~CS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           Hours later, when the cake had been cut and the first piece shared – Emma had smushed hers all around his mouth and even managed to get icing up his nose, while Killian had gently and delicately fed a careful bite to her – the bouquet had been tossed, and the pirate groom had playfully removed the garter with his teeth, swinging it on his hook in victory before tossing it over his shoulder to catch Archie by surprise when it landed right in his barely outstretched palm, the dwarf contingent returned, having set the situation at Clark’s drugstore to rights on their own, to find the newly wed pirate and princess diligently seeing everyone off the ship.  Her parents and Henry, before hurrying to catch up with Regina who waited on the dock, were the last ones to leave, each hugging both Emma and Killian and telling them how happy they were for them.

           Despite the wonderful, dreamy quality of the entire day, and how they had enjoyed spending it with all of those they loved, Emma felt herself drawing in a breath of relief, so glad to finally have her husband all to herself, and she thrilled to the next thought, that she would have him for the rest of their lives.  As quiet and peace washed over the Jolly Roger and the water around them, the two of them stood at the helm in the sunset glow, eyes on the horizon, as they set sail for their future.

Tagging a few others who may enjoy: @whimsicallyenchantedrose @laschatzi @bromfieldhall @flslp87 @ladyciaramiggles @ilovemesomekillianjones @drowned-dreamer @nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable @mossandmushroom @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @ps1473-4

[brothermarc7theatre]

"The Full Monty" show #655

They had the goods! StageWorks Fresno just closed a remarkable production of The Full Monty, David Yazbeck and Terrence McNally’s adaptation of the 1997 film of the same name.  Though it didn’t win any of its ten Tony nominations, the title alone garners interest, curiosity, and excitement as to what a Full Monty is. As demonstrated by the six actors portraying unemployed steel mill workers in Buffalo, the Full Monty is more than just stripping down to the birthday suit for some singles. It’s a mentality, a brotherhood (or sisterhood), a commitment to bearing it all to win what is most precious to the individual, a sense of pride in this case. Director Joel C. Abels helmed the production, one that had as much heart as it did laughter and skin-bearing performers.

Leader of the gang is Jerry Lukowski, an unemployed divorced father who needs quick cash to pay child support to ex, Pam. James Schott delivered an excellent Jerry, complete with stellar vocal turns in Yazbeck’s demanding rock-esque score, specifically in “Scrap,” “Man,” and “Michael Jordan’s Ball.” His smooth, quiet tone did justice to the melancholy “Breeze Off the River,” and was met with comedic delight alongside Jeffrey Lusk and Dominic Grijalva in “Big-Ass Rock.” Mr. Schott balanced the personality of down-on-his-luck dad with being completely dedicated to his son, Nathan’s, welfare. Jeffrey Lusk was an excellent compadre to Mr. Schott’s Jerry, as the heavier-set friend in the bunch, Dave Bukatinsky. Mr. Lusk’s drab demeanor and self-deprecating inflection drew the audience in to absolutely adore the character,  as much as Meg Clarke’s committed, spirited Georgie, Dave’s Wife. Mr. Lusk and Miss Clarke shared an infatuated chemistry all performance long, one that showcased a very real side of marriage, not just the musical dramedy versions that can take little effort to create. Miss Clarke shined in her leadership of “It’s a Woman’s World,” and in the near all-call number, “The Goods.” Miss Clarke’s passionate presence and energy played well off Mr. Lusk and the other ladies in the cast.

Dominic Girjalva’s pitch-perfect tenor voice brought a level of comedic legitimacy to his performance as Malcom, a homebody whose endearing dedication to his mother matched the character’s nerdy persona and complete lack of social awareness. Mr. Grijalva’s ‘ooohs’ and ‘ahhhhs’ in “Big-Ass Rock” prepped the audience well for what was one of the best physicalized performances I have seen on stage this year. Mr. Grijalva led a stirring “You Walk with Me” at the most dramatic point of the plot, and did so with astute composure and a sound vibrato. Aaron Pierce’s performance as Ethan was also a comedic highlight, making him a memorable performer among a cast of excellent actors and actresses. Chris Mangels’ turn as Harold, former boss man of the out-of-work mill workers was a demonstration in how whole-heartedly committing to the mood of each scene can result in an outstanding, fully-developed character. Mr. Mangels’ chemistry opposite Julie Lucido’s flamboyant, loving Vicki Nichols was a carefully crafted, engaging relationship to watch, culminating in one of Mr. Abels’ most poignantly blocked scenes in Act Two leading up to a beautiful “You Rule My World (reprise)” with Vicki and Georgie expressing the love they have for their husbands.

Rounding out the six Buffalo strippers was LaRon Lee Hudson as Horse, an older black man whose fulfillment of a particular stereotype makes him an ideal member of the sextet. Mr. Lee Hudson’s performance of “Big Black Man” is literally a breakout number for the “older” character, dazzling the audience with dance turns and vocal riffs that diversifiy Mr. Yazbeck’s score with a more-groovy, soul-filled tune. Tessa Cavaletto was gifted with one of the best-written roles of the show as veteran of the stage, accompanist Jeanette. Miss Cavaletto delivered every insult, reference, and one-liner with class and gruff timbre, letting it all loose in the Act Two ringer, “Jeanette’s Showbiz Number.”

Reining in all the personalities and talents to fit the dance demands of the musical was Josh Montgomery’s vibrant, dashing choreography. Starting with the sexy Keno strip number to a pulsating “Scrap,” the choreography was executed with excellent precision. Miss Lucido performed Mr. Montgomery’s Latin ballroom-ography in “Life With Harold” with the right amount of flare and passion for her to warrant the show-stopping applause it received on the matinee I attended. Follow that with Mr. Lee Hudson’s fantastic performance of the chicken, jerk, and slew of other “dated” dances in “Big Black Man,” and Act One was all set for “Michael Jordan’s Ball” to finish Act One. The athleticism coupled with numerous formations made for a non-stop finale, tipping its hat to the Broadway company while still incorporating lots of nuanced movement that complemented the six abilities of the six men. Act Two comes and it’s time to “Let it Go,” the culminating number that audience (and probably cast) have anxiously been waiting for. The energy was contagious, and the six men delivered all the goods, vocally and physically, that earned the near-immediate standing ovation post-light cue.

A technically sound production, Mr. Abels left no aspect unchecked. Mr. Mangels did double-duty, as he also built the set with the right amount of visual aid to help the audience know when we were in a new location, while being stripped down enough to allow space for action rather than crowding the cast in the intimate Dan Pessano Theater. Kyle Jensen’s sound design was a job well done of balancing the cast’s more tender singing moments with Dakota Simpson’s gloriously rocking band. Jennifer Malatesta’s lighting design absolutely did the job of illuminating the group numbers and focusing on just the intimacy of the solos and duets.

The Full Monty has moved on, but StageWorks Fresno has plenty more theatre in store for Fresno later this season. By all means, head over to their website or social media outlets and pick out your next date night at theater so you don’t miss it. Go see a show!

[neostarstudios]

7/7/17

While the last few years of Warped Tour have, to varying degrees, seemed to course-correct the festival’s reputation for chasing the latest trends, 2017 may have hit a high water mark. While different regions had some bands jump on and off (West = Goldfinger, Midwest = The Suicide Machines, for examples), Camden’s lineup was certainly packed with a load of heavy-hitters. There was some of the expected fare for the younger crowd (Attila, New Years Day, Beartooth and personal favorite Dance Gavin Dance, among many others) but veteran acts may have outnumbered the newer ones, which is a shocking change.

Having different experiences at the show, we decided to share both JJ and Henry’s experiences here. Sometimes they’ve crossed streams, and sometimes they were at different parts of the venue.

JJ: On a side note, this was my first time seeing the event at this location as Scranton is my usual location of choice. While that location has its advantages (my familiarity with the layout, easy and free parking, short lines to get in, and just a generally laid-back experience) this location had its own appeal. After getting the layout figured out (which did take a little while), the navigation here was easier than Scranton as stages were less spaced apart.

Henry: I’ve been to Camden a number of times. In fact, the first few Warped Tours were held at the parking lot of what was Wachovia Spectrum. I think they moved it to Camden back in ’97-’98 and have been setting up here ever since.

JJ: Anyway, after figuring out where the Hard Rock Stage was, I knew it was where I was going to largely camp out. I made it into the venue in time to see Bad Cop/Bad Cop, one of the bands I was most excited to see, take the stage. They plowed through their set which had a ton of new material from their just-released album Warriors. The new material really blended nicely with their older songs and, if anything, upped the intensity. If you didn’t pick up the CD at their merch tent for only $5, it’s time to start kicking yourself. As good as they are musically, they are even better as people.

Henry: Bad Cop/ Bad Cop was a band I definitely wanted to see. I’ve become a fan ever since seeing them play with Masked Intruder on the 25th Anniversary Fat Wreck Tour. I’ve even forced a few of my friends to watch their set and they loved every second of it!

    Henry: I headed out towards the Mutant North Stage to check out Silent Planet. They’ve been a band that has played a bunch of shows here locally for years but for every chance they were in town, I’d end up missing their sets. I was happy to see that they’ve blown up over the last few years.

JJ:  I wandered inside to the Skullcandy stage to see War On Women as they shouted their message of equality and making concerts safe spaces for everyone. This was followed by Save Ferris next door at the Journey’s Right Foot Stage (the stage placement is one bone I have to pick with this venue). Anyway, SF put on a tight, energetic performance that made everyone in the crowd move even if a lot of them weren’t even alive during the band’s initial run. Now THAT is how you come back bigger than ever. This seemed to an even peppier show than when I saw them in a club earlier in the year. After they finished, I had enough time to get my bearings and plan my next move which was right back to the Hard Rock Stage for….

Municipal Waste! I had never seen them before but it was everything I hoped for with maybe 15 songs being played in 25 minutes. You really get your money’s worth with them. It was nice to see drum-deity Dave Witte in person. A recent addition on second guitar, Nick Poulos really bolstered their attack and maybe it was because I was closer to his side of the stage, but his leads really were highlights of the set. It didn’t hurt that I was able give him a thumbs up and a fist bump later.

Henry: Inside, to tried to cover Memphis May Fire. Literally ever since they’ve been appearing at Warped Tour, for some reason, they always end up playing inside. I hate shooting inside. It’s dark. Very dark.

After a few feeble attempts, I gave up and decided to try and catch The Ataris on the Hard Rock Stage.

Henry: It’s been ages since I’ve seen The Ataris live let alone listen to any releases beyond ‘So Long Astoria’ (sorry, ‘Welcome the Night’ just never did it for me.) The band had just released a new record and is selling it at Bad Cop/ Bad Cop’s tent. No doubt was I curious. One of the highlights of their set was when they finished with the Don Henley cover of “Boys of Summer” and they replaced the line “Out on the road today I saw a Black Flag sticker on a Cadillac” with “…Dickeys sticker on a Cadillac” in reference to the band that stirred up controversy earlier on the tour.

  Henry: The entire point of Warped Tour is to check out the bands that you’ve never heard of. Going with that notion in mind, I decided to run back inside to check out a Manchester, UK band that was pitched to me called Sonic Boom Six. They had an upbeat ska sound that you can totally skank to (do people even know what “skank” even means anymore!?)

JJ: After walking around some more, I came back to the Hard Rock Stage to see Sick of It All and….wow. Being familiar with their recorded material forever but never seeing them, these guys may have won the MVP award for the day. Despite being in the game over thirty years, their energy is beyond compare. They have a tight, loud, massive sound live that the early records, for all of the quality of many songs, don’t really capture. It’s hard to imaging them being able to keep that intensity up for an hour, but maybe they can or maybe they just go all out and make the most of their 25 minutes. No matter what, it was impressive and I got to shake frontman Lou Koller’s hand afterward and express my gratitude.

Henry: I’ve been a huge Sick of it All fan ever since I picked up a copy of ‘Scratch the surface.’ It’s weird to think that I was 13yrs old when I bought that. But music has been a rather huge part of my life. The last time I saw them live was literally 20yrs ago at Warped Tour 1997.

Henry: While walking around, I noticed my friend Sean up on the Full Sail University Stage with Courage My Love. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been clueless to the fact that I’ve been conversing with Mercedes Arn-Horn off and on in FB comment threads for a while now. I’ve always just figured she was a friend-of-a-friend amongst my other music industry friends. It was actually rather cathartic to see her on stage performing with her band since I only knew her from chat threads.

JJ: I ventured over to the Journey’s Left Foot Stage (see what I mean about the layout?!) to see CKY. They are local favorites and the entire Margera family came out to introduce the band. After watching them on TV for years, it was a little bit of a thrill. Bam even came out late in the set to sing a G.G. Allen song. The real story is how the band has recalibrated with the departure of frontman Deron Miller. It’s Chad Ginsberg’s voice at the forefront and…the approach is different. Instead of Deron’s smooth croon, Chad has the vocal approach of a stoner-rock dude who just rode into town and is looking for a fight. After a few spins, the new album The Phoenix is a short and sweet tour of a lot of what the band does just with a slightly different approach. They only played one track off of that “Replaceable” but mostly stuck to tracks from Vol. 1 and Infiltrate. Destroy. Rebuild. Everything was enjoyable and the crowd was into it but the performance seemed a little listless. The band and their layers of sounds are probably best-suited to an intimate club.

Henry: I killed a little bit of time right after CYK. I needed to reorganize myself after all the running around I’ve done. I managed to catch up with a few tour friends along the way. Most were complaining about their lack of sleep (something I knew too well after my short stint a few years back). I caught New Years Day‘s performance over at the Journey’s Left Foot Stage. It’s funny. I can recall a time before they became a household name, when the band would hang out in the press area simply out of boredom and would sit-in during interviews.

JJ: More wandering ensued before circling back to the Hard Rock Stage for the Adolescents. Even though they’ve been at it longer than I have been alive and influenced even the mighty Bad Religion, they were still sharp live. Sure, it’s basically Tony and Steve bolstered by some younger musicians, but those two were always the engine of the band anyway. They had a great new album last year (Manifest Density) and showed that they can keep going as long as they want.

Henry: The Adolescents were one of those bands I didn’t bother photographing. I just wanted to be able to stand back and enjoy their set. I think the only song any of the younger crowds recognized was “Amoeba” made famous by Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3 game that we all obsessed over.

Henry: Back inside, one of the acts I was looking very forward to was William Control. I’ve seen him perform a number of times and in different configurations. Starting off with “Monster” and “Kiss the Girl”, he addressed the crowd “I know a band with synths is probably the last thing you’d expect to see here today at Warped Tour. But think of us as a bit of repreive. First we’re going to romance you, and then when Beartooth comes out after us, they’re going to fuck you all in the ass!” According to a few old-school Warped attendees, William Control was one of the new acts that they saw and fell in love with. Also worth mentioning was that ‘Revelations: The Red EP’ just came out today and is available at their merch tent for only $5 and is worth every penny!

Unfortunately, I had to run as the band was starting to launch into “Beautiful Monster” as blessthefall was about to start at the other end of the venue.

Henry: After fighting my way through hordes of Warped attendees, I finally made my way to the Mutant North Stage. The sun was starting to set and “golden hour” was upon us. As the band took the stage, frontman Beau Bokan sprayed the crowd with a bottle of Monster’s Mutant soda. I managed to dodge most of the spray but my camera wasn’t so lucky.

JJ: After this, I made my way over to the Mutant South stage to catch a little of Silverstein’s set. They had gotten a shipment of their new album Dead Reflection in a week early (it was officially released on July 14th) and were selling it at their merch tent. Don’t tell anyone. A few songs in, Beefcake The Mighty “killed” Billy Hamilton and took over on bass for a few songs. I wasn’t able to stick around long because….

Strung Out took the stage at the Hard Rock Stage! I’ve been crossing paths with them a lot over the last few years and as always, good stuff. Vocalist Jason Cruz’s voice sounded stronger than it had the last few times I had seen them and they can really do no wrong in my book.

Henry: By the time Silverstein came on, I was beat. I knew JJ had to run to catch Strung Out but he totally miss the greatest part of the set when GWAR’s Beefcake The Mighty “killed” Billy Hamilton and took over bass for “Retrograde” and “Still Dreaming.”

JJ: It was at this point in the day with clouds threatening and giving way to sun for so many hours before, that the rain finally delivered on its threat. A drizzle became a full downpour with gusty winds creating havoc as I tried in vain to put on my poncho. If it was just me, I wouldn’t have minded, but I had signed merch with me and was already down a backpack and pair of earplugs that evening. It was with a heavy heart that I had to miss the band’s last song as I ran inside for shelter to dry myself and assess the damage. Once solving this and realizing my poncho was torn and therefore mostly useless, I looked out to see the rain even heavier than before. It must have been an experience for those at the Mutant Stages who saw Hatebreed and GWAR through that.

Henry: I was caught in the rain during Hatebreed and GWAR. I tried to photograph Hatebreed’s set but by the time they took the stage, the clouds were overhead and it looked like it was night to my left, and still daylight to my right. I watched as production staff tried to keep the stage together as strong gusts of wind kept knocking over banners and they hastily tried to cover up speakers before the onslaught that we were about to receive.

JJ: I waited it out inside at the Skullcandy Stage again and was happy to realize this detour brought me right to the Street Dogs, one of the bands I wanted to see anyway. They burned through some familiar numbers including a cover of Joe Strummer’s “Coma Girl”. The crowd in front of their stage which included me, was modest but frontman Mike McColgan worked hard to win everyone over. In fact, he worked so hard, he spent just as much time if not more so in front of the crowd waiting in front of the Journey’s Right Foot Stage next door. They may have been there for Never Shout Never but they got a healthy dose of Street Dogs and I could see a lot of people in that crowd also really into it.

After the Street Dogs closed up shop, I headed back outside one last time to happily see the rain had ended. I took the walk back to the Hard Rock Stage one final time and was able to see all of Anti Flag.

There was something appropriate about them closing things out, especially given the state of the world.

Henry: I had to make a choice. Go see Anti-Flag, or stay and see GWAR. I decided to stay and watch GWAR. Words just aren’t enough to describe their clash of comedy theater/ rock show. It’s one that everyone has to experience first-hand to comprehend it. Like if I were to say to someone that I had a great time getting blasted in the face by Blothar’s four penis’s, I’m pretty sure I’d be met with confusion and disgust. Still worth it!

JJ: All in all, it was an odd experience for me not being consumed by press and only able to get a sampling of performances. This is the exact experience a normal Warped Concert-goer would have and while different, was nearly equally enjoyable. I had already interviewed most of the bands I was there to see (in some cases multiple times) anyway, so with a few elusive exceptions, I was fairly up to date with a lot of them, anyway.

Henry: It was a marathon for me to try and cover as many acts as possible. But overall I was happy to see fans young and old showing up and actually having a good time together. I watched as men in their late-40’s/ early-50’s throwdown in a circle pit with kids half their age during Sick of it All. I saw concert goers in their mid-30’s develop a new love for new acts. Acts that they’d never be exposed to on their own accord if it weren’t for what this tour was built on: comradery and unity. I saw numerous collaborations on stage that made me scratch my head (Big D and the Kids Table with American Authors, GWAR and Silverstein were the two big ones that came to mind) but they’ve made it all work.

JJ: Let’s also applaud the tour itself as it managed to strike an impressive balance of old and new which should make it a viable, relevant festival for even more years to come.

Written by: JJ Ellis and Henry Chung Photos by: the unstoppable Henry Chung

    Warped Tour 7/7/17 While the last few years of Warped Tour have, to varying degrees, seemed to course-correct the festival's reputation for chasing the latest trends, 2017 may have hit a high water mark.

[scratchtheblock]

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SCRATCHTHEBLOCK PRESENTS: ROOTS (A TRIP INTO NEO-SOUL WONDERLAND)

We grew up with a steady diet of great great music performed by D’Angelo, Jill Scott, India Arie, Leela James, Calvin Richardson,Maxwell,Dwele,Brian McKnight,Amell Larrieux,Lauryn Hill,N’Dambi,Eric Roberson and the list goes on & on! 

In terms of sonorities we love to define this kind of music as neo-soul , u know da groove , da warm rhodes notes and the feel-good vibrations..

Roots is a trip into neo-soul wonderland packed with the most impressive joints imbued with a sound that gravitates towards nu-soul melodies.

THABO – MORE OF THAT (PRODUCED BY ARON KYNE)

Let’s get the ball rolling with a goose-bump inducing neo-soul piece performed by Thabo Mkwananzi. Originally from Zimbabwe , the talented singer/songwriter/producer earned notoriety with his band The Real Deal ( Aron Kyne on Rhodes piano, Emmanuel Allert on acoustic guitar and Ali Mac on percussion) sharing the stage with well-known neo-soul artists such Avery Sunshine (check out her last effort Twenty Sixty Four), Eric Roberson,Dwele among others. The U.K based performer will literally seduce your ears and your soul with a superb and succulent downtempo song called More Of That wisely produced by musician/producer Aron Kyne . 

MOONCHILD – EVERY PART (FOR LINDA)

Los Angeles group Moonchild represents a rare example of musical project able to wrap three masterpieces in a mere five years! Infact through the superlative Be Free , Please Rewind and the new Voyager, Amber Navran, Max Bryk, and Andris Mattson have proven themself to be a staple amongst the jazz/neo-soul scene becoming an in-demand group for dope collaborations with artists such as Rapsody (appearing on her sumptuous Crown EP) and  Tall Black Guy (Let’s Take A Trip). Today we continue to celebrate Moonchild art selecting another brilliant piece from their recent majestic opus Voyager. The track is called Every Part (For Linda) and now sit back,relax and contemplate something that stands for quality.

THE PLAYLIST FEAT. GLENN LEWIS – SUPERMAN And now we can define Jeff Townes aka DJ Jazzy Jeff not only as a gifted turntablist/record producer/disk jokey but also as a “patron of the arts”. The Playlist is the brainchild of the Philly veteran hip-hop artist, described as

   an intimate gathering of progressive artists for the purpose of inspiration, motivation and collaboration

In accordance with the principles of making good music through collabo between musicians,producers as well as singers and rappers Jeff invited a fleet of superlative acts to his mansion in order to give them the opportunity to work on a project which led to the amazing Chasing Goosebumps featuring the brilliant neo-soul canadian singer Glenn Lewis (the underexposed genius behind the neo-soul classic masterpiece World Outside My Window)

We purchased the outstanding album and one of our favorite track is da supa-dupa-mellow Superman. Superman is definitely a tasteful cocktail, whose ingredients are blended together to create a perfect balance between melodies,harmonies and vocals. These ingredients go by the name of the most impressive artists of the international urban scene! Oh yeah, we got Eric Roberson,Maimouna Youssef & Muhsinah as background vocals ,we got Stro Elliot & Steve McKie on drums,we got James Poyser, Kaidi Tatham and  Daniel Crawford on keys and Jeff Bradshaw, Matt Cappy, Rick Tate on the horns! 

  PJ MORTON FEAT. PELL – CLAUSTROPHOBIC

Genuine, raw,organic and pure ! PJ Morton got an abundance of skills which have made him a great in-demand musician/composer/singer/songwriter but also a mature triple-threat able to wrap compelling albums. During his career PJ had the pleasure to work with a plethora of renowned artists such as Robert Glasper Experiment,India Arie,Anthony David,Jeff Bradshaw,Jagged Edge,Faith Evans,Monica,Lil Wayne and many others. This year the New Orleans-bred artist launched his fourth album entitled Gumbo under his own imprint Morton Records.Let us serve you up the smooth Claustrophobic featuring New Orleans rapper/singer Pell

STEVE LACY – C U GIRL

Los Angeles grammy nominated  guitarist/producer/singer/songwriter and member of The Internet , Steve Lacy has welcomed the huge international success of his band but he’s smart enough to use this success as launching pad for his solo career (just like his bandmates). In parallel with a series of fruitful collabo along side Kali Uchis, Big Sean,GoldLink and last but not least Kendrick Lamar (he worked on Pride from the acclaimed Damn) , Steve had time to drop Steve Lacy’s Demo , a set of pieces released as solo artist that served as little tasteful appetizer for his fans. Scratchtheblock crew really loves Lacy eclectic and experimental approach so allow us to recommend the dope C U Girl.

TA’RAACH & THE LOVELUTION FEAT. JOY JONES – LIBERATIONS LULLABYE

Terrell McMathis better known as Ta’Raach is a multi-faceted producer/rapper,grew up in Detroit ,  whose brilliant mind graced us with majestic pieces such as Gone Baby, Don’t Be Long by Erykah Badu.  J.Dilla, Blu & Exile,Waajeed,Platinum Pied Pipers,SA-RA Creative Partners,Samon Kawamura are just few names of the artists which collaborated with Ta’Raach . In 2006 , Ta’Raach released the excellent opus The Fevers  written, produced, and mixed entirely by himself and packed with some interesting artists like Big Tone,Amp Fiddler and los angeleno rapper Blu among others. We selected the extra-refined neo-soul cut called Liberations Lullabye featuring the incredible voice of East LA experimental vocalist Joy Jones (which delighted us with her project Godchild, an exquisite blend of future soul,postmodern funk and intergalactic grooves ). This year in February Ta’Raach composed and arranged a compilation to pay tribute to Detroit sound: The Unseen – A Detroit Beat Tape Soundtrack

ALFA MIST & EMMAVIE – EASILY, I FORGET

The next track is a masterpiece finely wrapped by two dope artists from U.K: Alfa Mist and Emmavie. Alfa is young and talented self-taught pianist/producer from Newham,East London. His production skills unveil a penchant for jazz sonorities and hip-hop music and his signature sound is imbued with dark/contemplative beats intertwined with soul and jazzy elements. Emmavie is definitely one of our fav artists from U.K! Her intoxicating style, her incredible vocal prowess,her creative and intelligent approach behind the boards as producer make her a genuine,extraordinary international talent! In 2014 Alfa Mist and Emmavie joined their forces to record an impressive collaborative project entitled Epoch from which we chose the soulful Easily, I Forget. The joint will provide intense goosebumps,your brain will flush with dopamine and a tingly chill will whisk down your back!

SAMNELLY – LIKE THAT (PRODUCED BY BLUNTEDBEATZ)

Oh yes…the young New York singer Samantha Nelsen aka Samnelly  is a rookie but as you know the most important thing in music , is the ability to instill emotions and damn…with her track called Like That she literally knocked we out! Taking advantage of the mellow jazzy beat designed by Hamburg based beatmakers Dave White and Dr.Slice known by the stage name Blunted Beatz , Samnelly bewitched us with her soothing vocals.

    TAY WALKER – A CRAZY THING CALLED LOVE

We live in New York, Flatbush to be exact but damn…we have to admit the Los Angeles area is cranking out a lot of quality music.Recently great projects poured down on us , exciting our senses …so we can sing the praises of Ill Camille and her Heirloom , Terrace Martin is almost ready to release Sounds Of Crenshaw Vol.1 with his side project The Pollyseeds , Iman Omari warmed up his fans with Move Too Fast from the forthcoming  IHY LP , Matt Martians dropped a solo project called The Drum Chord Theory and we can go on again n again……Today we’re happy to listen to a brand new single written,produced and performed by Tay Walker.Try to define the talent of Mr.Walker without falling into the trap of banality is not easy !The Inglewood multi-talented artist is known for his collaborations along side The Internet (playing the keys on Purple Naked Ladies and working on the masterpiece Feel Good as composer, featured Artist, keyboardist as well as producer) but we prefer to focus our attention on his individual skills.In 2015 Tay Walker released his debut project entitled 25Hours A Day giving to the world a taste of his boundless potential and seducing with pieces like Karma.During a little conversation Tay told us he’s currently working on a new project called OWSTN (One Way Street No Nowhere ) and we want to share with you the sublime song titled A Crazy Thing Called Love.It’s a slow burning track that will enrapture your senses and will take you to the clouds above!Make sure you to check out the official music video which hosts young los angeleno artist Kleva GTD.

LENA CHANEL – NO MORE (PRODUCED BY MARCUS YATES)

Washington, D.C singer/songwriter/producer Lena Chanel invites us to experience da refreshing old-school-esque sound of her single No More. Inspired by iconic artists like Lauryn Hill, Aaliyah, Janelle Monae,Erykah Badu,Stevie Wonder and Sade , this beautiful and talented artist delighted our ears with an astonishing song masterfully produced by Kansas City rapper/producer and cousin of veteran underground hip-hop artist Tech N9ne , Marcus Yates.

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Update Required Flash plugin.

[olwog]

So Peeps, this is a tale of an ambiguous text and excellent service from Abbotts Coaches and their wonderful staff.

Well I woke up this morning. (You can’t beat a bit of blues first thing). I’d received a text from Dave and it said; “Walking from Swainby to Osmotherley, bus to usual place, usual time . Let me know if you’re up for it, love and peace Dave”.

Well how can you ignore such an invite?

So, I’m walking up to the bus stop texting Dave a reply and manage to flag the bus with only seconds to spare. The Abbotts service is brilliant and we proffer ‘our old farts passes’ to use it regularly to get to Swainby so that we can head in to the North Yorkshire Moors literally on a whim.

The bus driver, Brian checks where I’m going, he clearly thinks I’m old and might not know where I’m going and given a few more minutes he’s probably going to be right!

I take a seat and read the reply from Dave.

“George, it’s tomorrow”,

Bugger, I’d better read the text again…no it still doesn’t mention tomorrow.

I’m smiling now as I think about dastardly things that could be done; that can wait, I need to make a decision as to what to do and I’ve got a couple of options. I could jump off the bus at Brompton and walk back home or I could ring Peter to get him out of bed and do the walk anyway. I plump for the latter smiling even more ‘cos it’s only 10 o’clock so I’ll wake him up.

So, I can hear the yawn as he answers the ‘phone and I explain the plan. When I mention the word ‘walk’ he responds like my dogs and I can imagine him standing at the door drink in one hand and ‘phone/camera in the other.

Brian drops me off at the toilet block in Swainby and I blink and sneeze as I step into the sun. Peter’s nearly ready, in fairness I had said that I’d be about twenty minutes as I thought the bus went to Osmotherley first but it didn’t so the twenty had dropped to five and he’s standing half naked at the door. Fortunately it’s the top half that’s naked so I’ll not need the counselling.

The sky is almost without cloud as we leave the village and the trees have their fresh green livery only seen in spring. We pass a rope swing over the beck and it reminds me of an escapade from my childhood.

//Start wobbly image and fade to childhood// We used to play at a place like this. Castle Hills was where I grew up and we loved to play near or over the beck. One of the places of interest was an area lined on one side with trees and on the other with bushes where the beck flowed next to the railway line, we called this Calcutta for no other reason that it was a deep cut where the beck flowed. In the spring when the snows were melting on the moors the beck would be swollen and as summer approached it would slow so that we could splodge in it and catch sticklebacks and the odd elver. Low Castle Hills was where we rolled our eggs at easter and these had usually been coloured using the yellow gorse flowers and onion skins.

There’s a public footpath that leads to the North End of town and as it passes “Cally” The path is restricted in width and there’s been a fair amount of erosion over the years. There’s a tree that we used for a swing across the beck and I believe that tree is still there; anyway, the purpose of this deviation is that I remember an incident when we were children and it involved a rope…

When we were about 10 we’d been ferreting about in a factory yard and had ‘found’ a discarded rope and decided that it would be ideal if we could find a tree with a bough that stretched over the beck then we could swing across it like Tarzan of the Apes who was very popular at the time.

We did remember such a tree that had been used before and all we had to do now was find it and that we did near the above Calcutta.  As we approached we could see the remnants of other pieces of rope that had ether snapped or been cut down by adults bent on suppressing our desires to commit suicide.

I’m not sure who shimmied up the tree now, with our climbing skills it could have been any of us but I do know that the outcome was a rope dangling in the middle of the beck just out of reach. Being human helped at this point as we began to think of the tools that we’d need to bring it back to the bank and within minutes we had a broken branch that had been blown off one of the other trees during the winter storms. Seconds later we had the rope in our hands ready for the swing and nobody had fallen in…yet!

We then had a limited but spirited ‘fight’ about who would go first and I lost. The winner took a long run along the embankment with the intention of describing a smooth arc that kept your feet dry and gave you the opportunity to land on the opposite bank if you so desired. If you chose not to land then the rest of the journey was a mirror image of the first and, if you were fleet of foot, you’d land on the side of the beck that you left and hand the rope on to your friend. If you were not fleet of foot you hit the tree!

My friend who will remain anonymous ran along the bank with the above mental rehearsal in his mind. He had the speed and the angle all perfect and left the river bank with grace. The bough of the tree dipped as the combination of gravity and mass took effect. I could also see water emerge from the fibres as the rope thinned slightly as it stretched.

Then there was an extended crack and the rope snapped. Geoff hit the water with the elegance of a brick, oops I said he would be anonymous!

I suppose the gentlemanly thing to have done would have been to help him out of the water but both his brother and I were helpless with laughter and I’m still sitting here with a smile as I finish this paragraph.

//End wobbly image and fade to now//

Click on any image to page through them full screen…

We make our way up Shepherd Hill passing a number of others taking advantage of this beautiful weather. Scugdale and Whorl Hill are fabulously clear on our left and the Vale of Mowbray stretches out to the Pennines on our right. We turn right and on to the steps the signpost indicates the Cleveland Way and we’ll be staying with this for a while topping out at 280 metres (about 900 feet).

The steps are a challenge, it’s easier to walk on a track than steps whether you’re going up or down but we use the excuse of taking photographs to steal a breath or two and use the opportunity to view the vale and the Pennines in the distance. The oil seed rape fields stand out but the other crops contrast and the walls and hedges stitch it all together. Walking on a sunny day is the ultimate relaxation. It stimulates every sense and, on cue, we hear a cuckoo.

At the top the path becomes a track and easy walking after the exertions of the steps are forgotten. Scarth Wood Moor is on our left and the blues, whites and yellows of the wild flowers on both sides of the track are a treat.

We reach the cattle grid across the Swainby-Osmotherley Road and Peter is telling me about an adder that he photographed here yesterday. I’m not afraid of snakes but I’m still a little more cautious as we cross the road and rejoin the track on Scarth Wood Moor.

Another 50 metres or so along the dry stone wall and we can look back over Whorl Hill and Swainby Village, scanning to the left is Ingleby Cross and numerous farms. The blue sky and odd wisp of high cirrus it’s like a scene from an idyllic children’s cartoon everything is primary coloured, gloriously bright and sharp.

At the top of Scarth Wood Moor there’s a bench seat where we take a break and spend a little bit of time taking a drink and a short break then it’s off again along the ridge with Arncliffe Wood on our right and a dry stone wall and plenty of gorse on our left. At the repeater station we would normally turn right if it’s wet and follow the tarmac road down to Osmotherley there hasn’t been rain for some time so we continue along the Cleveland Way to pass Lady Chapel on our left and Mount Grace below us on our right.

We soon arrive at Chapel Wood Farm and follow Rueberry Lane in an arc into Osmotherley. The view to our right across the Vale of Mowbray is clearer than most days although the Pennines are still a little misty so their outline is shrouded with light mist.

At the Queen Catherine we order a sandwich to share, they come with some chips and salad so one is more than ample unless your intention is to have a snooze in the afternoon.

Now here’s a little tale that’ll warm your spirit:

I mention to Pete that I normally carry a small folding keyboard that bluetooth’s into my iPhone so that I can write these little missives as the words enter my head.  I think I’ve left both the keyboard and some once a day expensive suncream that was unopened on the bus. Pete thinks it would be a good idea to ask the driver as I’m picked up to go back to Northallerton. I’m not entirely convinced as the service that took me to Swainby was the fast service that didn’t call into Osmotherley i.e. it was a completely different rout but hey, it’s got to be worth a punt.

As I step onto the bus I’m beckoned by two people that had been on the other service this morning and had found my keyboard and the sun cream and handed it to Brian, the driver. Peter, in the meantime is asking Marion, the driver of this bus if anything has been handed in and I hear a voice calling “George, have you lost something?” I respond that I have and within a few seconds they’re handed back to me. At about £100 to replace them I’m delighted.

My belief is this. The easy thing would have been for Brian to have handed them in at the office as lost property at the end of his shift but I’m guessing he realised that I was walking to Ozzy and handed it to Marion who was driving the Ozzy bus on the off chance that I’d be catching that. So here I am reunited with my keyboard and suncream, can’t fault the service, thanks to both Brian and Marion and also the lovely  honest couple who handed them to the driver in the first place.

I love Yorkshire, I love Yorkshire folk and I commend the Abbotts service that we use regularly, it’s second to none.

Today is a great day. Enjoy the snaps…G..x

This is a 8km (5 mile-ish) well marked route a bit challenging up the steps and certainly gets the heart rate up but with lovely view.

Feel free to share but written permission is required for commercial use of words, pictures or stories.

Swainby to Osmotherley – May ’17 So Peeps, this is a tale of an ambiguous text and excellent service from Abbotts Coaches and their wonderful staff.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 28th October 2018

Top 10

This will be the last episode on a Thursday for a while as it returns to weekends, in fact, there’s going to be a new episode tomorrow, most likely. Let’s get this week over first though, and we start with a bang as we have a new number-one – yep, “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper takes the top spot on its fourth week after a three-space increase. This becomes Lady Gaga’s fifth and Bradley Cooper’s first #1 on the UK Singles Chart.

This also means that “Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith is down a spot to number-two.

As is “Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo pushed back to number-three.

Oh, as well as “Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille, also down a spot to number-four.

“Let You Love Me” by Rita Ora has entered the top five at number-five after a one-spot boost.

Little Mix’s “Woman Like Me” featuring Nicki Minaj fell a spot this week to number-six but the video will definitely keep it in the top 5 next week.

We actually have a debut at number-seven, as Post Malone and Swae Lee’s “Sunflower”, the lead single from the Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse soundtrack. This is Post’s fifth top 10 hit and Swae Lee’s third (second as a solo artist).

“ZEZE” by Kodak Black, Travis Scott and Offset is up three spots to number-eight, to my surprise and dismay.

“Electricity” by Silk City and Dua Lipa is steady at number-nine.

Finally, “In My Mind” by Dynoro and Gigi D’Agostino is starting to fall out, down two spots to number-ten this week.

Climbers

We don’t have too many at all this week, in fact, it’s pretty much just a handful. Thanks to the release of the Suncity EP (#20 debut on the albums chart if you’re wondering), Khalid’s lead single “Better” is up four spots to #18, entering the top 20 and becoming Khalid’s sixth top 20 hit in the UK. Otherwise, however, there are just a few boosts for A Star is Born songs, with “Always Remember Us This Way” by Lady Gaga up six positions to #25, whilst “I’ll Never Love Again” with Bradley Cooper is up seven spaces to #27.

Fallers

There are only a few of these as well, actually, with “MIA” by Bad Bunny and Drake falling off eight spots to #21, “Venom” by Eminem dropping five spaces to #28, “Thunderclouds” by LSD (Labrinth, Sia and Diplo) making its way out, falling five positions to #34, and thankfully, “Falling Down” by the late Lil Peep and XXXTENTACION is down seven to #40, and hopefully will be going soon.

Dropouts

My website that I use to easily get drop-out info is finally updated, and while I won’t correct myself on the weeks where I didn’t have it, this two-week hiatus has made me wonder about this source’s reliability, to be honest. Anyways, we actually have quite a lot of dropouts here, as “breathin” by Ariana Grande is out from #26, “Best Life” by Hardy Caprio and One Acen is out from #35, “Drip Too Hard” by Lil Baby and Gunna is out from #36, “Lucky You” by Eminem featuring Joyner Lucas is out from #37, and, finally, “Taste” by Tyga and Offset is out from #38. A lot of good songs here, most of which had quite a bit of longevity, so, yeah, big drop-out week.

No returning entries this week so it’s straight to the new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#39 – “I Want You to Freak” – Rak-Su

Rak-Su are an English R&B act and boy band who won the 14th series of The X Factor last year, and had a massive hit with “Dimelo” that featured Wyclef Jean and Naughty Boy. All of the original songs they played throughout the run of their series were actually pretty damn good, with a lot of fun groove and songwriting chops present, so how do Rak-Su follow this up in their second top 40 hit? Well, it’s just one of the original songs in a studio version, and honestly, yeah, this was the worst one they sang, with the exhausted drum pattern present in reggaeton being drowned out by really ugly, disgusting buzzing synths, like, they just sound so freaking awful, how did this get past the executive producers? Anyways, the vocals are pretty fitting for this track, but no-one really shines, and the blatant interpolation of “Freak Like Me” by Adina Howard in the hook is just too much of a soulless hook grab for me to ignore its cheap inclusion – there’s not really any repurposing here at all. Yeah, sorry, boys, but that cluttered instrumental is borderline unlistenable, hence making this song pretty awful. Ditch your producers, guys, because Simon Cowell and Banx & Ranx clearly aren’t using your potential the way they should be.

#36 – “Kiss and Make Up” – Dua Lipa featuring BLACKPINK

Dua Lipa released a second deluxe edition (titled “Complete Edition”) to her self-titled debut album last week, and it included this new song that kind of blew up due to how big the featured artist, the K-pop girl group, BLACKPINK, are right now, and you know that when K-pop fans have new material they try and make it as big as possible, I mean, just look at BTS’s success. This is BLACKPINK’s first ever charting song in the UK, yet alone top 40 hit, which Dua Lipa now has 11 of, by the way, but does it live up to the hype? Well, sort of, yeah, actually, but can we just discuss the little intro vocal fragment because the manipulation makes it sound like the vocalists are saying “Beyblades”... which actually segues into the content of being in a constant spinning cycle of saying sorry, making up, and then breaking up again, maybe too perfectly. Oh, and I I love Dua Lipa’s performance here (as always), with the tropical vocal fragments throughout the verses popping up pretty sporadically being a nice little addition, whilst the skittering hi-hats may not have been as they just kind of don’t add to the energy of the song at all, which elevates with the pretty decent drop, may I add. I don’t know the names of the BLACKPINK girls and I’ve quite literally heard nothing from them before, but their performance here works with the beat effortlessly, so maybe I should check more out from them in the future. Good song.

#35 – “nASSty” – D-Block Europe (Young Adz and Dirtbike Lb) featuring Lil Pino

I have no bloody clue who any of these people are, so what I can say is that this is definitely the first top 40 hit for everyone involved. D-Block Europe is a collective lead by someone who’s way too enthusiastic about commercials and one of the strangest “riding” metaphors this side of “Body Like a Back Road”, and this particular song, featuring a dude who I’m sure named himself after those little novelty pine tree air fresheners you stick to a car, is their first to blow up, and I’m already having Vietnam flashbacks to Big Sean’s verse on “Mercy” based off the title alone, but is the song itself good? Well, I’ve been getting into more British trap and hip-hop recently, and while I haven’t heard that much, I can confirm this is probably not the best out there at all. The synths sound like stock loops, while the “nasty” vocalist that starts off the song loses any chance at being intimidating with the high-pitched, nasal autotuned voice, and cartoonish ad-libs. If you sound like kids, which they might as well be, you’re not going to exactly going to be very effective when you threaten to shoot me and take my girl. I love the ad-libs actually, they’re so energetic and easily the best part of this song, it reminds me of Desiigner’s hype man vibe actually. I would not be able to tell the difference between each one if Lil Pino didn’t state who he was in his incredibly short verse (seriously, it’s only a pathetic two bars). This is trash, but at least it’s amateur trash and not made by a major label, and instead just a couple kids having fun. I can forgive that.

#31 – “Ruin My Life” – Zara Larsson

Not this, though, and not because it’s all that bad, but become I feel like I’ve heard it before. Zara Larsson is a Swedish singer-songwriter who has made it pretty big for herself in Europe in recent years (with only some US crossover success). This is her eighth top 40 hit in the UK, and it is just as bland and cookie-cutter as everything else she’s ever released. Larsson sounds okay (especially in the hook, where the janky rapping flow actually works with the trap drums), but the airy synths are like clouds that never rain, as it’s not like what sound like incredibly fake handclaps are making anything interesting here. The chorus doesn’t have any pay-off until after the second chorus, where in the bridge, we actually see a pretty damn nice guitar riff return from the promising intro and immediately get abandoned in favour of the nothingness that the rest of the song consists of. What a snore.

#7 – “Sunflower” (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse) – Post Malone and Swae Lee

Post Malone and Swae Lee – the more versatile half of rap duo Rae Sremmurd – have got big enough to start making soundtrack hits for big budget films, and I couldn’t be happier for the both of them, Post is an immensely talented songwriter and Swae’s a great vocalist, however they clearly don’t share the same traits, because Post’s unlistenable warbling is way too present, and his whining voice is something I just can’t dig, whilst Swae makes his songs way too long and often doesn’t have any worthwhile content. I feel like they’re polar opposites in a way, so this collaboration actually got me excited, especially with how much I’ve liked Swae’s input this year (not so much Post). I’m just as excited after listening because this is a fantastic freaking song. The record scratching over those snares, making it sound like static, just makes for such an interesting contrast when compared to the plinking and beeping synths, Swae’s smooth vocals and the dark, deep horn line – seriously, that instrumental is actually beautiful, with the vocal contributions from Swae adding a fun, catchy, melody in both the hook and verse, with his childlike naivety in his dynamics being incredibly charming. Then we have Post’s grittier, more mature voice that probably works even better on this production, especially when the beat cuts and we have that ticking in the background, and it’s pretty much just that and Post. Oh, God, that part’s amazing, and it ends on such a sweet guitar line. I’m not going to mince words, this is eligible for my best list and would easily be top 3 but since I think and hope this is going to stick around, I’m saving this for 2019 when I have more to say. One of the best pop songs to break into the top 40 this year, easily.

Conclusion

Well, what do you think? Of course, Post Malone and Swae Lee get Best of the Week for “Sunflower”, with Honourable Mention going to Dua Lipa and BLACKPINK for “Kiss and Make Up”. Worst of the Week should be obvious as well, Rak-Su get it for the awful “I Want You to Freak”, and Dishonourable Mention is going to D-Block Europe and Lil Pino for “nASSty”. See ya tomorrow, I guess.