#also be happy but like also suffer tbh
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Anyway I wrote an urban fantasy action/romance story with a friend and I’m posting it on Wattpad cause it’s tropey as hell and highly self-indulgent and I’m not sure I can justify posting it on ao3 lmao. I probably won’t post about it much on here cause it’s not fandoms related.
M/F vampire/hunter enemies to lovers with a hefty amount of action and angst and a slowwwww burn. There is eventual smut but it takes a hot hot hot minute to get there. 😅 Check it out if you want! It’s a lot of fun!
Wattpad rarely gets comments for me despite having the best built-in way to comment on specific lines or sections, and I crave reactions, so please pepper it with comments if you can 👉👈 I reply to all comments over there, especially if you come from tumblr!
Also, admire this cover which I think really embodies the early 00s urban fantasy tv show vibes we’ve been channeling 😂
(extra thanks to my betas for the first few chapters, @silcoitus @juniper-sunny and @cognacandlilac y’all are amazing and I thank you)
#wattpad#vampire oc#urban fantasy#original fiction#vampire/hunter#vampire/human#my writing#x-amount-writes#be warned that it’s so self indulgent and I love it so much#i love my tortured little bi boy#i want to make him suffer ❤️#also be happy but like also suffer tbh#I may comm some *ahem* art from a later scene cause I’m in a comming mood#my ocs#cain webster#shameless self promotion
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just a cute tipsy gale in fun lighting ..felt robbed of not being able to dance with him in game, so I guess I'll just draw it myself 😤
#happy septemberrr I am still suffering from the bg3 brainrot...I fear it's permanent 🫡 wanted to do something fun and vibrant!#fan art#bg3 fanart#lilith greylock#gale of waterdeep#gale x tav#my art#gale dekarios#tiefling party but you get to dance with a drunk gale and also it's like. 80's vibes for some reason#he looks so pretty in pink#yes those ARE lipstick smudges on both of them#i need more gale in makeup/fem gale tbh 🤌#bg3#art#begging larian on my hands and knees for some kind of after party dancing scene#lockweave
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If I must suffer during Inktober, then so must Wally 😔
#he looks happy tho#and honestly im not suffering at all besides not being able to get full drawings of wally out#i have things in the works!!#i actually have something cute finished but i want to do something special to it#im really enjoying my ink tbh#just the desire to draw wally at every given second of my day still is there!#also i love wearing ink on my hand!#wearing my art!#ohh his profile is tricky!!#still working on it!#welcome home wally#wally darling#whps#welcome home#jazzsketches#i tend to draw them in three's...#i like the paper full!#i love you guys#you love my sketches and dont even complain about my handwriting#you guys are real troopers#i actually want to show you what im working on so BAD#ive done a prototype but im working out some things#uwaaaaaa!!
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Heyoooo. I wanted to say, I'm sorry about that mean-ass, insulting anon you got a while back. That ask ended up pissing me off so bad I ended up actually reading your Marchil analysis posts. Originally, I was meh and kinda confused when the ship showed up in Ao3 because I didn't see what people liked about it. Reading your posts about how they were narrative foils opened my mind more, and I realized, Oh shit yeah there's a lot of potential in this ship for how these two can develop each other.
Part 2: Marcille and Chilchuck may not have scenes like the infamous bath scene with Farlin, but the concept of someone who's terrified of being alone, the reality of her friends' mortality, a hopeless romantic catching feelings for a repressed, divorced man whose wife left him--okay yeah, I absolutely understand the appeal of this ship. Marcille would be like, Why the fuck is my heart thrumming for this sharp-tongued bitch, and also the terror from falling in love with someone so short-lived Part 3: Either way, love your analysis posts. I am going to be contemplating the potential of Marcille and Chilchuck for a long while. There is something so tragically sweet about it
You get it, you really do… I could list off everything I love about them but I’d be here forever because it’s literally everything and there are so many fun ways to spin it… You’re very right about them being tragically sweet, overall where their arcs meet the most is "Loving is something worth doing even with the risk of loss", and I say risk but really it’s more the inevitable eventuality of it as canon does love to point out. If you want the reward of being loved you must go through the mortifying ordeal of being known. No love however brief is wasted. Let me see you and stay. It’s very much sort of the final boss to their arcs for them to get invested in each other in such a way, to get involved romantically— emotionally with someone knowing what’s coming and that she barely has two decades left with him (who mistreats his health so much he very well could die early), and to shoot your shot for something new with hope in your heart and enough confidence that you’re worth loving. He’s not a prince charming but to her he sort of is, all virtuous husband this reliable dependable Chilchuck that, all "you may be flawed but I’ll still romanticize your qualities and convince you that you and your love for your beloved are something worth fighting for".
What if I was old bread that solidified to be hard as rock and you were like warm soup and by soaking in your presence I softened……… What if you stubbornly grew on me like yeast and it brought out my flavor like beer as I opened up and allowed you in………. What if your hair was golden, the epitome of beauty to me, and my hair turned silver, your worst nightmare……. I think about them a normal amount
#And as always i am working on my marcille & chil arc analysis it’s just taking forever n also my job is ramping up rn…#Ask#Ask was sent on april 8th for the record#Dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#Marchil#it has it all. the halfling and the elf the social expectations the self-inflicted repression…#Like I don’t think there’ll ever be another ship like marchil tbh#Chilchuck tims#marcille donato#The post is so serious now but in tags I can say: ty this sorta ask means a lot to me!! Stays on the mind and makes me feel positive#In good news. We are suffering from our success (happy 60 fics on ao3!!) but we are also winning from our sufferings (hello spite shippers)#For every marchil hate comment a new marchil shipper is made sorry i don’t make the rules#This is a good summary of the ship’s appeal i feel… Non-exhaustive of course but still#Peace and love on planet earth <3#Fumi rambles
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#ok im making one more dot post and then i am (hopefully) getting off tumblr and going to bed#liam payne#death#i do suggest not reading tbh because its just gonna be waffle. anyways#ive distanced myself from the boys for years for a multitude of reasons. mainly that they did things that disappointed me and i realised the#way i was attatched to them was unhealthy. so for the most part i listened and enjoyed the music and didnt pay Much attention to anything#else. and like liam. i always liked him in the band days because to me he was the underdog. the underappreciated and probs less stanned one#out of all of them. and when youre a fan i do feel like a lot of us just wanted them all to be appreciated. idk. but anyways yeah i did feel#for him. due to him backgroud growing up. his talent. etc etc. even though he wasnt my fav. and even when he did something wrong my teenage#self still defended him like my life depended on it. (embarassing) anyways. his solo music while it was not my fav i still occasionally#enjoyed. its just over produced pop like it was fine and i found it fun. in terms of him as an actual person by this point in his career i#didnt pay attention to him or the others that much anymore#and like. yeah as of recently as more stuff came out about him being kinda weird and rude and abusive 🙃🙃🙃 that was kind of the final#straw for me! like in terms of me giving a fuck about him. if he eventually came around cool but i wasnt gonna wait around for it.#god this whole thing feels so dramatic but i need to get it oit or i Know i will not be at peace lmao anyways#so yeah come to hearing about his death which. i hear about because of trin lovell on twitter like. shsvshs. anyways my reaction was#disbelief and just... nothing? like i said in my brain i had just disregarded him honestly. and even now i still just feel speechless.#to summarise my feelings. fuck him for how he treated his ex and probably other women as well. but also. he was my boy. he'll always be a#part of me. and it feels weird that hes just. gone. he suffered a lot with addiction and pressures etc and its just. sad that hes gone now.#that he never got to get better. and he wont get the chance to. im sad for his family. and anyone else thats gonna be affected by this#im always gonna remember him.#and thats all i have to say. honestly part of me feels SO dramatic for even typing all this out but here we are.#if anyone has read this far and wants someone to talk to im more than happy. and also just wanna make clear that i am fine#le text post
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Haha I also used the dickless bore. I thought that only the two main characters came back didn't know he did as well. I still don't buy him ever being into her but that's just me I do wonder if he's going to try and kill her again. I do think Li Rong is treating him too well for my liking she should at least treat hit similarly or worse than she treated ML I want to see wet paper towel non stop suffer.
on one hand, imo a SRQ who is heartless doesn't work for the story the writer is trying to share with us. On the other hand, it's totally ok to decide to be a full-time hater towards a minor character, just because it's fun. I support haters! 🎉 \o/ 🎉
One thing that I think is relevant when comparing LR's reactions: if PWX had killed her, the motive would have been as part of his mission to have his childhood love Qin Zhenzhen's son become the next emperor. (Remember, he came over to threaten her life over that right before she died and called his ex Zhenzhen lmao) THE AUDACITY. In contrast, LR is viewing her murder at SRQ's hands as part of the revenge plan for the Su family's execution.
Some passages of Li Rong's POV:
After a few moments, she whispered: “Where did the scent on you come from?”
“If I say it, you might be upset.” Pei Wenxuan’s eyes had a hint of gloating at others’ pain.
Li Rong thought for a while and frowned, “Su Rongqing?”
“Yes.”
...Li Rong said nothing. She blankly stared into the fire.
Pei Wenxuan turned the fish over and looked at her with a smile, seemingly quite happy. Li Rong found that he had a fearless, unabashed look of enjoying a good play and couldn’t help but be a little fazed.
She believed everything Pei Wenxuan said.
---
Su Rongqing was someone that she saved with her own hands.
That year, Prince Su rebelled, and Su Rongqing’s elder brother spoke up for Prince Su. Later on, he was falsely accused of colluding with Prince Su, implicating the Su clan with treason.
At that time, Li Chuan was so furious that he fainted. He put the entire Su clan in prison without going through the Joint Trial of Three Divisions first and put the men to death and the women into exile. She disagreed with this decision and rushed to beg Li Chuan before the Su clan received their sentence. After being subjected to ten planks, with Pei Wenxuan’s intervention, she was finally able to ask for amnesty for the Su clan.
Even if the death sentences can be forgone, it was impossible to escape punishment while still alive. Even though the men of the Su clan could live, they would be subjected to castration. The others couldn’t bear the humiliation, so they all committed suicide in prison. When she arrived, there was only one man “desperate for life and afraid of death” left among the men of the Su clan, Su Rongqing.
At that time, she had told Su Rongqing that she saved him without the intention of asking him to repay her. She could give him silver and a position, so that he could continue to live a good life in the future.
Back then, she didn’t have any special feelings towards Su Rongqing. It was just that he had saved her before, so after he took care of her, bit by bit, she felt grateful, and…vague sentiments towards him.
For the most part, she sought to save the Su clan for Li Chuan and her own conscience. The Su clan was a prominent, noble family. It was difficult for her to sit back and watch if they died in such an ambiguous manner.
At that time, Su Rongqing refused to go.
...It wasn’t that she had never thought that Su Rongqing would not take revenge on her. After all, it was Li Chuan who ordered all the men of the Su clan to be beheaded and exiled all the female family members. It was impossible for anyone to forget this blood feud, let alone the formerly first and most outstanding gongzi of that year?
For so many years, she had never dared to give him real authority, observing him and guarding against him while still trying to help him live a better life. She couldn’t actually kill him because of her own conscience, but she couldn’t actually trust him and give him power.
In the end, he still decided to act. He killed her first, then successfully took her authority in the name of eliminating Pei Wenxuan. If she guessed correctly, he would not leave with the advisors. Instead, he would borrow the excuse of taking revenge for her and enforcing the will of the people to join forces with the Empress, assist Li Xin in ascension, and fight to the death against the remnants of Pei Wenxuan’s faction.
...
She had anticipated this possibility from the moment she took Su Rongqing in, but she couldn’t help feeling a bit regretful when it actually happened.
#honestly i think their relationship is quite interesting#and srq is a tragic character who just suffers 24x7 so no worries there#like just imagine: besides the horrible fate of his family#if he truly had always loved li rong#how cruel that would be#the only chance to be with her was this nightmare#and though they accompanied enough other and had some good memories#she could never trust him and could never return his feelings#and she SHOULDNT trust him#and now he sees no other path available than the one he is on#directly opposed to her and fighting on her enemys side#as he gets to watch her marry pwx again#and be increasingly affectionate together#and realize that this isnt young pwx who is too confused and insecure to have a functional marriage w lr#this is the mature adult who might actually make his beloved happy#and how to even feel about that#cdrama#the princess royal#my personal feelings about SRQ evolved a lot as the story progressed but tbh i still dont know#i feel sorry for him#i cannot sympathize with some of his politics but he is also so damaged that#like LR i guess i feel he must be opposed but i wish he could be saved#LR would say he has his reasons (and he has more reasons than she knows)#now the reveal that they are all from the future is clear#he does not come running to her to explain everything and defend himself#he isnt justifying himself#he actually isnt trying to make this all emotionally harder on her than it has to be#but also i DO consider him as someone who betrayed her#and i dont think he can have a place in her life anymore#(fwiw i get the salt about PWX murdering her: he blew up their marriage over ZZ + now warring w her at court over ZZ kid + kills her for it)
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ok now I'm imagining kuukou hosting Hot Ones interviews with the rest of the hpmi cast
for reference, Hot Ones is a celebrity interview show where the guest has to answer questions while eating progressively hotter and hotter sauces on wings. It catches them off their gaurd a little bit and they respond more earnestly because their PR brain is off and all they can focus is on dying of spice and answering questions
Imagining him doing this to Jakurai in particular 🤣
KUUKOU WOULD HAVE A BLAST BEING THE HOT ONES HOST HE GETS TO EAT EXTREME FOOD AND LEARN ABOUT THE OTHERS WITHOUT SHARING SHIT ABOUT HIMSELF THATS HIS BRAND LOL
#vee got an ask#i wish i could remember which radio it was but i still just think about that one jyushi radio where he was able to share hitoya’s pastimes#but couldn’t answer what kuukou did in his pls stop with the lone wolf tendencies kuukou it kills me lmao#if it’s just bros with the bros kuukou might try to make a competition out of hot ones tho lmao#idk how tho lmao#juto gentaro sensei maybe and jyushi and hitoya idk might die after da bomb lmao#samatoki would be like idris elba starting to thug after eating that one lmao like he can handle spice i’m sure#but he wouldn’t appreciate the threat to his life LOL#hifumi i feel would have a strong enough palette to handle heat but time and time again da bomb is proven to be spicy for spicy’s sake#not for flavour or anything so i wonder if he’d have a bad time with it lol#sasara would also perish tbh lol rosho would be fine i think but rei 🤔#rei might have the same issue as hifumi lol#ramuda!!!!!! i hope he’ll live lmao!!!!!! dice would tho he wouldn’t be happy about it lmao#bb all would be in the average sufferer boat tho i’m esp praying for saburo lmao#rio 🤝 doppo: unnaturally chill with it lmao
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Ep 5!!!
#Episodes that make me go “The author has never talked with a woman ever” 😓😓😓#I don't like how Lucy's character is handled at all. And I feel like I can't talk about it because I'm just going to sound like a bitter–#ss/kk shipper... But I really don't like it. And if it can help my case I'm a multishipper so I really don't take any–#issues with atsu/lucy I like the ship quite a lot actually.#So you're telling me there's this girl... Who meets this boy who pretty much ruined her life by directly causing her to lose her job...#And the next time she sees him she's going to sacrifice her own freedom for him as well as tell him “when you're done doing your things–#come and save me” (longest ewwww ever)... And when she regains freedom (author didn't bother to explain how because they don't care)–#she goes to work... As a waitress at the café beneath his workplace. So he can keep doing his Cool Superpowers Job while she literally–#must serve him every time he visits the place. It's just ?????????????????????????????????#Look‚ I don't dislike Lucy and I feel general affection towards her. It's just that they make her act like no one ever would#Just for the sake of the plot I guess#And like I knoww it's (probably just a little) more nuanced than that. I know Lucy is living her own fairy tale fantasy.#It's just that what I've said about her story is still true‚ you know?#I'm sorry but as sweet as atsu/lucy can be. I really hate the author for making Lucy a waitress. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.#It's so weird. This anime has women writing standards that feel like dating back to the 20s#Same with Katai and the ideal woman tbh. Like why are women to be seen as this abstract impersonal entities? Why can't they just be people?#Ideal for WHO. It's like super screwed up of a concept. What even is an ideal woman? What does it mean to be a woman anyways?#They just want to say “ideal wife”. But women aren't made to be wives their existence isn't functional to another person.#Sorry. I derail. Next episode is going to be even worse on this front ughhhh#Back to the episode: once again it really shows they were running out of budget with this season‚‚‚ the animation looks very suffered#Too many flashback also... I feel bad for the animators tbh#I don't really like the shift in art style :( Not even Atsushi I found particularly pretty this episode my heart cries#The nail pulling thing made me feel like throwing up afhsjyabfsbfwasfvb I feel like I can bear worse gore but there's a couple of little–#specific things I can't stand and this seems to be one of them pffftttt#I like Higuchi I think she's both very funny and cool. I really wish she was explored more (but then again looking at Teruko... )#The relationship between Kunikida and Katai looks so interesting even though we only get glimpses of it. Kunikida regrets Katai leaving–#the ada but is also happy for him but also worries for him. He comes to his house seemingly to check on him and starts cleaning around.#The way he loves him and cherishes their friendship and shared history is really evident and it makes for a compelling dynamic.#Perhaps I should read their short story... In any case. Going to someone's house and compulsively start doing the dishes half out of will–#to help out half because he can't bear the mess sounds a lot like something I'd do lol
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the most flattering comparisons made about me of all time (mostly looks based; a little bit vibes based) are:
1) that I look like Nancy Wheeler
2) that I look like young Helena Bonham Carter in A Room With a View
3) that I look like the girl in this painting
#this is about cate’s tag lolololol#NO BUT ACTUALLY IT MAKES ME AND MY VANITY SO HAPPY#they are all prettier and cuter than I am tbh. and they also all look very different to me ultimately. but there’s some passing similaritie#and/or a collection of vibes#and it makes me soooooo happy#I love a collection of vibes related to myself on which I can reflect#gives me such a stable place to REST my sense of self#which. yeah. I know. can be such a flaw. I’ve really had to divest much of my self-worth/self-obsession from what other people say of me#about me. trying to just have everybody else read my personality and discuss it with me endlessly#because a lot of what I suffer/experience has nothing to do with that and my weird delusion that it does HAS TO DIE#it’s just—LIFE. and the human condition!!!! and understanding myself perfectly will not solve that#but still. I looooooooove when I feel like I have been given the gift of something to reflect on about myself from the outside#it just. it helps calm the turbulent waters of my mind and heart that are just always endlessly and cruelly analyzing myself#this has gotten away from me hasn’t it
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My family’s craft sale is finished and I’ve got like $250 to pick up from my stepmom!! ALSO got money in the mail from a sales rep as thanks for helping with the account!!! ALSO ALSO got a promotion today!!! 🥹🥹🥹
#talk#I’m really happy tbh!!!#I never expected I’d get that promotion#I’ve been suffering setback after setback after setback at work and I was sure I’d be disqualified#and they didn’t even interview me for it!!#it’s like $200 extra every month I’m so happy#also I’m planning on setting up a new commission type for my Little Guys art style because I’m just having a good time drawing like that#and it seems people like it and it’s WAY easier on me and takes much less time than my usual art style#so I’m excited to hopefully open those up soon#maybe for the holidays? who knows#anyway the commission stuff isn’t primarily even about money I just like doing them#it’s fun work!!! I want to do more commissions#I haven’t done any in several months#anyway. all that to say is it’s been a nice day despite everything ☺️
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Sora (Character Bingo)
I am the number one “sora follows in the path of xehanort and baldr, subconsciously using a character highly associated with light he is close to as a way to defend against the heightened darkness he can feel, and almost losing himself to it” enjoyer
#Didn’t elaborate on who I think ‘light character’ is because I think it’s gonna be kairi but ik people disagree lol#May asks#would have also circled ‘leave them alone’ and ‘I need them to be happy’ but tbh as a empath trio lover I feel like it would be against my-#-brand. Lets get this anime boy to suffer (I do really want him to overcome it) (just not yet)#image id in alt
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dragon age discourse but. even if i have considered a cousland dao playthrough because i love alistair and i kind of do want a happy ending with him, i also think that "fem warden cousland marries alistair and becomes queen" or i guess also "male warden cousland marries anora and becomes king" tho fewer people seem to play that is probably one of the most boring storytelling choices you could end up with lmfao
#also like. happy endings are overrated imo. i love my dragon age pcs but i also need them to suffer at least a bit#only one of my 3 canon pcs ended the game still in a relationship with her love interest (tbh poor hawke has suffered enough) but i like a#bittersweet ending. i think da2 and dai have inherently more ambiguous/bittersweet endings but there is a much wider variety in how dark th#dao ending can be and for that reason i think going with the fluffiest and imo most generic one#feels like a narrative misfire. and i didn't even go super dark but my warden ends the game#estranged from her sister and having had an ugly breakup with her boyfriend. but she saved the world!
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bought and started playing Cloudpunk because i wanted to watch a video essay on it and honestly, from the video title and based on the person that made the video, i don't know what i was expecting the game to be but i don't know why i didn't expect it to be a "existential dread under capitalism" simulator, this is simply too fucking much. like the game (so far) has some really good fucking writing and really good fucking pacing and really good fucking voice acting and a gorgeous world and great design and aesthetics but like my brain is simply shutting off trying to think about the implications like it's too much. talked to Teko and my brain just switched off trying to think about the implications. talked to Eveline and my brain started to think about the implications and i completely zoned out (not really but my brain was almost static at that point although i clapped when she said "don't tell me how to label myself"). rn i'm only a few deliveries in, i just gave Never-Slow Joe his drive converter and the moral dilemma the game presented was simply too much so i am. done for the day. that is a problem for another day.
#james talks#james plays stuff#cloudpunk#yes btw i delivered the bomb to its location idk what you want me to say. thought it'd be for like revolutionary purposes or something.#but clearly there is no revolution. there is only suffering. there is no mercy killing. we just fucking go on.#talked to Teko the second time and hearing about him and his friend in Tokyo made me wanna fucking bawl.#i did not expect this game to hurt my emotions like that#like jesus fucking christ this game HURTS#and that's not even the existential dread part of it#tbf i am running on low sleep so i am simply a little overwhelmed at the moment but i already adore the game#so thank you Sophie from Mars. ik your video will probably be great but even if it's not the game has already—#affected my life enough for me to be happy about getting it and playing it. i look forward to all the pain it is going to cause me.#also i expected the game to be a simple delivery simulator almost tbh. certainly not THIS. but i'm glad it is this.
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1 day i will make a meta of sansa's dynamic with her metaphorical champions/suitors & how that correlates to the ashford theory (i.e sansa being betrothed to joffrey baratheon, then promised to willas tyrell, then being married to tyrion lannister, then being married to harry hardying then married to aegon vi targaryen & aurane velaryon but it is not this day. lmao. when i make that meta it'll be so over for y'all.
#just know that. she never marries after aurane. btw lmao#like if he like g-d forbid ever died before she did she'd like. literally never marry or love again like. thats it lmfao#but anyway like. she has a complicated relationship w/ all of them tbh & reflects on them sometimes.#she obviously hates joffrey for him abusing her but like. she can't help but feel sad for him at times bc like. he was so young.#if he had the right people around him maybe he would've turned out okay eventually. but it didnt happen. she never met willas but sometimes#she wondered what it would've been like to be lady of highgarden but she hopes he's doing alright. her dynamic w/ tyrion is. complicated#like. he was never like openly cruel to her or anything & she's grateful to him for saving her life & standing up for her but like.#there's always that grief surrounding their families & i think she resented & mostly afraid of him at the time but in hindsight she's+#grateful that he never hurt her or forced himself on her. harry she hardly knew unfortunately but like she disliked him at first#but then he actually seemed to warm up to her & she had him tied around her lil finger but she knows that she wouldn't like to be married+#to a guy who actually has children w/ sb else. like. she's seen how that played out & while she wouldn't be mean it makes her uncomfortable#but especially surrounding aegon bc like. she's not naive enough to say she loved him but like. she actually LIKED him#like. while she was wary of him at first she warmed up to him & genuinely respected him as a person & most importantly aegon was her FRIEND#they got along rly well due to their similar upbringings & what they had to do to survive & like. he's actually a decent guy in canon. lmao#he's handsome & was chivalrous & honorable & sweet w/ her but also like batshit insane in a good way. like.#he was the golden prince she always wanted since she was a little girl; the prince that joffrey was supposed to be but never was.#he gave her a future as queen of westeros that was originally HERS. so when daenerys eventually executes him she has mixed feelings about i#aegon was good to her & she'd vowed not to betray him & she actually intended to keep that vow. to her she was forever in his debt+#he gave her a future from her isolation & suffering @ winterfell bc of how much everything changed & he waited for her to love him back.#he actually showed her respect & gave her a solid future when she felt alone & abandoned & led her gently into a world of his own making+#& gave her back her honor & a future. esp when the north was divided between jon rickon & herself. most preferred jon or rickon over her.#without aegon's intervention she probably would've had to marry some northern lord below her station. the winterfell succession crisis wild#but aurane velaryon? that's the love of her life. her bold captain. he taught her how to love & coaxed her in the sun to bloom & freed her.#freed her from the chains of her family obligations. he taught her to break the rules of tradition & follow her heart & trust her instincts#he was there with her in her darkest hour. he quite literally saved her life & defended her honor when no one else had the balls to do that#no one looks @ or touches her the way aurane does she loved him madly truly & deeply he took her girlhood in his stride but when autumn cam#she escaped & had to push him into the deepest recesses of her mind in the name of survival & pragmatism but she never stopped loving him.#& his sweet memory brought too much heartache & bittersweetness for her. she lowkey waited for him for years. & they EVENTUALLY reunited !#he fought & got legitimized for HER. she's. so genuinely happy w/ that man. he's one of her best friends & the father to her children.
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I decided because I love suffering that everyone gets their own halter.
#-pops on once in a blue moon to update and dip-#like what it's been. ten years since I've basically said 'hey life is crazy but I really wanna try to be active again!!' lmfao#somehow life keeps getting crazier in good and absolutely abysmal ways#have been sleeping on my floor for the past week due to Fun Health Issues which will probably be a thing for the next month+#and I would b*tch about that but today is the first day in the past week that I have not been miserable so#I'm on a 'I do not feel like sh*t! :DDDD' high lmao#I'm good!! life is just funny and I really need to do standup tbh#when I suffer apparently I am hilarious so silver linings 💕#chaotically toggles between emoticons and emojis bc f*ck the police no one can stop me#this is me a week *not* taking my prescribed amphetamines ahahaha#on them I am actually relaxed and chill which is funny#off them I'm either a sloth or nighttime kitty zooms basically#my body may b falling apart but you cannot stop my chaotic little mind apparently#ANYWAY broken record babey but I do... want to be more active.... if it happens I'll eat my hat but.#can I just say how elated I am that MORE SNOW#Winter Riders was my first SS game so. snow in game is v special to me and I literally dreamed about this and they MAGICALLY DELIVERED#I have a million critiques but clearly I still love the game and I am very happy with how they handled this lmao#anyway I hope everyone is healthier and a little more mentally stable than I <3#I love this stupid game a lot it is still my comfort... n0n-object. sldkfj.#also everyone must know I am f*cking OBSESSED with the unicorn oh my god#still a ponygirl at heart ig 😒 owell#also ye Dragonheart got an update!! heeeee#Dragonheart#Illusion#Brilliant Vision#Myth#Chocolate Dream#mostly sticking to two part names but ngl. for certain special horses I'm enjoying the single name options#also the halter thing is to sorta discourage me from impulse buying horses lmfao#I am 99% positive it will have 0 effect lmaooooo but everyone looks fancy now
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tawnypelt and dovewing really feels like such a natural fit for a good bond between the two characters because tawnypelt has not only been in dovewings shoes in being ostracized from her birth clan over stuff she couldnt control and moving to shadowclan to feel close to family that does care about her, but i always got the impression that tawnypelt has made peace with her past, not stewing in bitterness over it. like, she knows shes from thunderclan, she knows shes the daughter of tigerstar, shes mature enough to just let all that slide now and focus on the life she’s built over there, but doesn’t hate her thunderclan family either, like she still cares about bramblestar clearly. so if she sees another thunderclan cat who left her clan because she felt ostracized and disrespected, i don’t think she’d go “EUGH ew im projecting my past onto her because i hate myself for what i did and outsiders BAD” i think she would be a good mentor figure for dove and help her adjust and get along with her new clanmates.
like if tawnypelt was apparently super bitter over all that and still hated thunderclan so much that she hated any cat that was from there, that doesnt come through in the text before her novella. she constantly goes over there for refuge she constantly confides in her brother she cares about where she came from but doesnt belong there. there is literally nooooooooo good reason for her to just hate dovewing besides the erins loving petty but boring drama that will never be expanded upon
#everything ive seen from her novella feels so off tbh. why is she kidnapping a baby#why is tigerstar demonized for not wanting his infant son to go on a long perilous journey to where people have died#(his infant son w seizures also who has already been on a risky journey and iirc did almost die on it. he is death prone)#what is the point of the novella besides ''oh well we dont want tawnypelt to be deputy bc shes a conservative''#anyways. adding this to the rewrite in my head tawnypelt is dovewings shadowclan bestie#i also think she'd just feel protective to dove bc tiger is all she has left of her children now and shes the mother of his kids#and now she just wants one of her kids to finally have a happy life and move on and have a happy family#after all shes suffered and after flametail died and after dawnpelt was murdered by her daughter and after tigerheart#was ostracized for being lured into the dark forest#like. mayyybe yeah she'd be leery bc what if dove ends up hurting him in the end by going back to thunderclan#but i dont think she'd linger on that for too long given what shes been through herself#echoed voice
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