#and tbh I am really happy right now
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told my family that this was my favorite time of year. they glared daggers at me.
#slldkdkdkrkekieie#they are going THROUGH it#and tbh I am really happy right now#the days are full. I’m doing well. yes it’s all hard but I am doing well#interiorly personally#ANYWAY I AM TRYING TO BE OF HELP AND COMFORT TO THEM IN THIS DISTRESSING TIME#also sometimes I’m like tehehehe having a fun time at school!!!#and anyway I ADORE this time of year#even underneath my suffering when it’s present. but yes it’s easier when things are going well
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we both deserve to be happy
in case anyone is wondering, it gets easier. it gets so so much easier and i hope you find the love you're looking for
#this is like deeply personal and intimate but im posting it for the people who might need to hear this#there isn't really a more profound way i could say it. just that love is everywhere and it will be there for you if you look for it#it's true that things won't ever be the same and that's a good thing. never go back#ive been wanting to make more art about my grief and post it on tumblr for people but like. tbh. ive kind of processed a lot of it now#its kind of hard for me to tap into those old emotions again but hopefully this is still helpful for some people#my art#grief#love#idk#i just wanted to post this to reassure people who are scared to make the next step. i am so happy right now and i hope you will be too
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Don’t think I ever quite said what my LGBTQ+ headcanons are for the boys, so these are my current thoughts! Always changing of course but this is what I feel most strongly right now.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rise donnie#rise leo#rise mikey#rise raph#donnie and leo’s sexualities being practically swapped was unintentional but it works way too well#same with mikey and raph tbh it was a happy accident#anyway I kinda hc raph as the type who doesn’t care about physical appearance just if you fight lol#Mikey’s more than happy with friends and family#Donnie is a BIG romantic but he needs time to sus a person out fully before he gets the hots for them#leo meanwhile isn’t keen on romance unless it’s with someone he grows to really really REALLY trust#I could go on and probably will later (knowing me) but it is late and I am tired haha#turtle art tag#curious as to what everyone else headcanons#the only one of these I’ll defend forever is Bi (female-leaning) donnie and trans leo#all the others can change over time but I really like where they’re sitting right now#I hope these are the right flags too because it was kinda hard to find them#went looking for transmasc flag in particular but I couldn’t find a solid agreed upon version 😭#ngl a big part of why I hc mikey as aro is because of a pun#my phone often misspells aromantic as aromatic and- and you get it- because aromatic herbs and- and Mikey is a chef do YOU GET IT#note that while I hc leo as bisexual (male-leaning) I still think he’s prob closer to demi in that as well just not as far into the spectrum#if that makes sense#headcanons are fun and hard to narrow down at the same time alas#I made this in like an hour can you tell djjdjd#I drew them all from memory so if there’s anything wrong…shhh#and if you’re wondering for April and Splinter#Both are Bisexual (female-leaning) but April is also Panromantic#I almost wanna make Splinter demiromantic too so Big Mama’s betrayal hits just a bit harder
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matthew arnold has mastered the game of tumblr ship teasing and He Knows It
#the peachyville horror#he can play as coy as he wants to but i know he knows what hes doing#went to the tph tag and it was like 70% trudykelsie which is SO GOOD BTW but also. HE KNOWS#I KNOW HE KNOWS#i am onto him. we are playing 5d chess#THINK ABOUT IT. THE MOST POPULAR DNDADS SHIPS. WHAT DO THEY ALL HAVE IN COMMON?#THATS RIGHT. MATT.#DARRYL / HENRY. GOTHCLEATS. NOW HES STARTED THE ENGINE ON THE FIRST S3 SHIP#well tbh will is also really good at it#i stand my ground that oakworthy was 1000% the most popular ship of dndads until the last few episodes#but his method of getting pc tumblr ships is more obvious and in ur face: just like “my character thinks character a is really hot btw”#said outright when matt is more. Suggesting it LMAO#glennry and oakworthy ... my beloveds and both rly popular but more one-sided atleast for the majority of the time#ANYWAY so super fucking happy about this season btw excited for francis angst#dndads#dungeons and daddies#lgbt#dndads s3#dungeons and daddies s3#francis fransworth#kelsey grammar#tony collette#trudy trout#britannica blue
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We're learning about grouse hunting together!
I was really undecided on whether I wanted to hunt with Rory for realsies because I don't have a shotgun and I don't really care to get a shotgun (I have a gun license from my time up north). I have a small air rifle and a tactical slingshot (both legal for hunting small game in my area) so I've been taking those for walks in hunting areas, along with all my permits and stuff, just to see what we see.
This grouse woods is in the same corner as my swamp, just a different part of the rec area. You can legally hunt small game during the open season with dogs with some restrictions (certain distance from the parking, some trails close for hunting on a rotational basis for maintenance, etc.) but it's not terribly popular so it's a really good area to learn. We are looking for ruffed grouse and rabbit, both of which are super common out here.
With pointing dogs like britts, you generally don't want to shoot any game unless they're pointing steady (*except when doing gun conditioning, but that's a specific training set up) - it makes sense because a shot bird is the ultimate reward and you want to make sure you're reinforcing the behaviour you want, which is usually a safe steady point. Rory isn't pointing steady yet so there's really not much for me to do on these walks besides reinforce good manners (recall, how far she ranges, etc.).
There's a really well known saying in pointing dogs, which is wild birds make bird dogs. Wild birds flush (fly away) much more reliably than farmed birds so the chances of a dog catching a wild bird is really minimal compared to farmed birds. It's super important to get young bird dogs on wild birds as much as possible so they learn all the important skills: how to navigate terrain, what habitat holds birds, what each bird species smells like, how far they can range, and most importantly, that they need a person to actually get a bird.
(Most of these skills can be taught with planted birds in training, but planted birds may be more habituated to people and dogs so they might not flush reliably. Once pointing dogs learn that they can catch birds themselves, it's much harder to foster a strong stop and point. You might see people using these tip ups, which protect the training bird from the dog. You'll often see training dogs on long lines (called check cords) or with a flank collar to reinforce not getting too close to the bird, but you have to phase those out quickly so the dog doesn't become dependent on them. You also have to be really careful with scent trails when setting up planted birds or you might end up with a dog that follows your scent instead of looking for birds organically. And of course, you have to train without birds sometimes so the dog doesn't get discouraged about not finding birds quickly because sometimes there just aren't birds out there. Lots to consider when setting up training!)
Anyway I've been trying to get Rory out on wild birds as much as possible (with the caveat that we don't run wild birds during nesting season) so we're wandering the grouse woods lately. My early recall training is really paying off because she's been super reliable in terms of good manners, it's wonderful to see!
We've been out four times (1-2 hours each) so far since the season opened. The first two times we're mostly just a pleasant walk in the woods, Rory didn't really know what we were doing so she was just vibing (THIS IS TOTALLY FINE, SHE'S NEW TO THIS). We had a couple chance grouse encounters and I could see the wheels turning, I encouraged her to sniff around where the grouse were sitting before they flew off and I watched her start to connect the dots.
(It's important to remember that dogs don't know what they're looking for until you show them. Most bird dogs are naturally birdy, but they don't know which birds are good and which birds are boring! You have to show them which birds you care about - this is easiest if you can run with an experienced hunting dog, but you can do it alone like I am by making a big deal about any interest in the "correct" birds.)
The last time we went out to the grouse woods, she did a couple of really nice whip-arounds when she caught scent she liked and followed scent off the trail I was walking! This is the behaviour I want to see so it was awesome to watch it start to click! She trailed a moose (don't want that, she found some moose pee to roll in so whatever), a pileated woodpecker (again, don't want that but it was cool to see), and two separate grouse. The first was on the wrong side of the fence so I couldn't do anything about it but she held a really nice point (the photo) and I gave her a ton of chicken and praise for it. The second was a quick point but it flushed really far away so there was no finding it again. Both birds weren't visible when she found them, they were true scent points and she was strategically looking for them so that was super cool!
She's still in heat and super sensitive right now so I wouldn't shoot over her anyway, but I'm getting pretty accurate with my slingshot so I'm hoping we can connect on something this fall - both for her pointing steady and me aiming properly. She gets more steady and more sure of herself every time we go out so it's only a matter of time!
#rory borealis#about aurora#bird dog training#dogblr#this is a long one!#its pretty rambly about my thoughts about grouse hunting training so far#one real issue im having right now is how gear-sensitive rory is#she will happily wear a regular collar (or an ecollar - shes conditioned to wearing it but i dont use it on her yet)#but i cant put a bell or a belly protector on her without her freaking out#it makes her super shut down and upsetti and it sucks#ultimately its not a big deal because she ranges appropriately and i can have eyeballs on her at all times#but i would like her to wear an orange belly protector for these kinds of outings because its hard on her body#i have to revisit gear desensitization once shes done her heat#ive never had a dog that was this avoidant of gear tbh#on the note about gear:#rory has exceptional recall especially for a young bird dog#you'll notice im running her naked without an ecollar or gps collar#if youre following along and want to train your dog for grouse hunting PLEASE use appropriate gear for your dog#dont ruin the privilege of running dogs on public land by not having reliable control over your loose dog#i really dont gatekeep most of the areas i run my dog - i am so so happy to give local people recommendations on where to run#but please please please dont be the person who ruins it for us#i dont say this to be rude like live your dream#but consider the ethics and the privilege of having access to these areas and how easily they could be taken away#(sorry thats a rant but you get it)
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much love to the (multiple) mutuals i’ve seen agony posting on this fine new year’s day my heart is with you all in spirit 🎉🎉 the pain is incredible but this too will change
#i think i got through all my own angst after having a full on melt down spiraling panic attack and hiding in my room for approximately#92% of christmas day 👍#sucked ass btw. do not recommend#i hate this time of year and all these (northern hemisphere) winter holidays in particular#because it always feels like there’s So Many expectations to Be Happy!! Love Your Family!!! Become A Fresh New You!!!!!#which ime never fucking works. sorry for being a bitch but the harder you push me to get into#The Christmas Spirit the grouchier and more depressed i get#you don’t have to change everything Right Now. you don’t have to fix yourself by the end of january#you have a lifetime to figure that shit out and it’s your goddamn right to spend that time on your own goddamn terms#i appreciate all of you 🫶#and i like having you around#sigh. 1 am somewhat incoherency pardon if i’m making little sense#i think i’m just over trying to find the One True Solution that will fix me and make me a perfect new person#that never has any conflict with anyone and never does embarrassing shit i’m ashamed of or fucks up by not being an#omniscient emotionless robot#i’ll hold onto the smaller goals if only because ‘it’s good to have things to look forward to’#etc. etc.#but. that’s it and only barely#really i just hope my birthday isn’t as utterly dogshit as last year but :]#we’ll fucking see#i should probably just block every tag i can think of related to american politics that day tbh#sigh. horrors of a january 20th birthday#anywho.#there’s my new years rant happy 2025 or whatever let’s see how long it takes me to remember to write the new date#storm tag#broadcasts from the astronaut
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really wish people would read blog rules more, it makes running blogs like this very low reward and you feel like a machine if people aren't commenting and aren't even abiding by one of the, honestly, very few and politely phrased rules i even have
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#then i'm left trying not to respond like a bitch when the rules are there in the first place so i don't have to have negative interactions#with the people who come to this blog#like keeping it 100 you write for yourself but you write for ENGAGEMENT and COMMUNITY#and these days in fandom there really is no community#for any fandom across the board#people see something and move on#that's bad enough at killing fandoms#but the fact that a creator can have really only one super hard rule and it gets disregarded every day#day in and day out! and i really mean it this rule gets broken in my inbox DAILY man!#i write for a lot of small fandoms or smaller characters i love the characters i'm happy to do it#but i have an adult job. college. friends. family. my own original creative projects#and even if i don't respond to the asks where people are blatantly violating /again/#one of my FEW rules#it's exhausting to even see it !!!#it makes me not feel like a person#who cares what the girl behind the screen asked me not to do? right?? but i'm about done#i'm only at my breaking point because i've had this blog now for what three or four years??#and no matter how i phrase the rule people break it#no matter how many reminder posts#it's exhausting because it's an every day daily thing#idk maybe i'll feel better abt it in the morning but i'm getting exhausted tbh#exhausted as in this blog might be going BYE BYE i wont delete i think you'd have it up until tumblr goes away but i am getting pissed off#TRULY pissed off bc it's been years of me asking cmon now
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i realize its because everyone else on the summer banner is a mythic unit/normal vaike isnt in the game yet but if inigos a tempest trial unit he should get to appear in the story and he just shows up at the beach full armor fuckass boots ON like “why is everyone wearing swimwear. i thought we were fighting.” and at the end hes like “huh. well it looks like everyones having fun, maybe i could join in…” BAM segue into summer banner part 2 lead unit summer inigo fire emblem coming at you with a steel pail. hire me intsys
#ann cries about feh#cope i know but i just#im aware that as both an inigo fan and an awakening fan i have no right to demand more alts for him bc like#tbh. hes treated REALLY well by feh. four versions?!!#thats a lot for a minor character whos not really as popular as he once was. i guess having both laslow and inigo help but still#dude has more versions than owain for some?? reason???#but like. i cant help it. i need more. im greedy. selfish. give it to me. i’ll take my girlfriend in as many forms as i can get before eos#but also wouldnt a second gen awakening banner be cute#i know we have noire but that alt sucks so listen to me#picture: awakening second gen on the beach and none of them know how to relax#a RISEN could pop out of that water RIGHT NOW why am i IN A BIKINI#see. humorous. and then they run into masked marth in their TT again a la spring 2022#and shes just happy to see them finally getting a chance to be at ease#see. see. intsys i have so many good ideas pertaining only to a specific 13 characters please hire me
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Although the lighteyes/darkeyes conflict was completely bungled (I think we all agree on that), I do appreciate the moments in Words of Radiance where it was good. Or handled in a way that was far better. Even if a lot of the book was still showing signs of the decline.
specifically: I’ve noticed a lot of authors tend to ignore certain moments that are used for jokes or metaphors in regards to their implication. I would not have been surprised if the boots scene was forever forgotten in the plot outside of ‘silly Kaladin grumbling about being robbed’ . That would have been very much expected. But I’m glad that it is at least acknowledged as a shitty thing for Shallan to do. She gets called out on it and is definitively the bad guy in that circumstance.
still though, he should’ve also acknowledged all her worse moments of supporting the lighteyes/darkeyes hierarchy. And literally everything done with the plotline in later books does more than cancel it out. But I think it’s good to remember days when it was in fact not a trainwreck and seemed to have some self-awareness.
#Thinking about Shallan as a character and why she annoyed me in wor#I think part of it was I was still recovering from my being a shit person phase and also I saw too much of myself in her.#So a lot of things I wrote off as annoying and unnecessary were in fact just me being salty#But I have to also say that the chasm sequence really didn’t help#She should not have won any of those debates with Kaladin- except where he wrote her off as cheerful and shallow#But otherwise insane that she basically won the argument#An early sign of the forever decline#Which tbh was there through all of WoR#twok is the only book that I think pulls the plotline off without significant exceptions#Words of radiance is better than the later books but the foreshadowing is there.#I am trying to think of the good moments few as they are#Idk#I am happy that the boots thing was acknowledged as a bad thing and it’s painted as#Kaladin forgiving her and not him admitting that she was right#It does become a joke as I thought it would but they did just enough leg work to pass#Okay I really need to stop having rants this long in the tags#You get the point#shutting up now 🫡
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"I'm...I'm alive. I'm okay" I heard your voice crack jacob
#love to see him crushed by the weight of being alive in a time that isn't his own#they picked SUCH a good actor for young colton I feel like that's quite an accomplishment to find someone who even has the same VIBES#ex...wife...what am I missing. what am I not remembering.#we love to see elliot standing up for himself 🙌#rick 😭#the like...tonal dissonance of the scene with the hearse was...I don't know what I think of it#I feel like it could've been filmed better but stillllll it got to me 😭#“I saw colton in the pond is that normal for him?” the way she said that was SO funny I couldn't really say why#there's just something about evelyn she's clingy and weird and idk#I'M not happy for you del. sam is NOT wonderful#the way home hallmark#earl crow ramblings#why was del so triggered?? wild to be thrown back into the previous del/kat dynamic#kat's expression and the way she tilted her head slightly when del said how could you abandon your daughter right now—I could just hear#her saying like how YOU abandoned ME#just a little bit of time travel humor JACOB YOU ARE SO DEAR#ummmm idk alice I can easily reconcile that broken boy (who tbh didn't really look that broken to me he lowkey looked a bit machiavellian)#(or maybe that's just what he always looks like) with the man that elliot was talking about#oh. he was wearing rick's jersey. I didn't notice that.#hmmmmm what are we to think of vic#aughhhhhh jacob and danny#seeing grandma fern it's like MAN. the landrys have got some serious lore#might've been some of the uncanniest scenes of the series#VIC. TOOK THE RING. WHAT ARE WE TO THINK#wow what is up with del
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I know I’m always talking about teaching David Copperfield but I wanna talk about teaching David Copperfield. I can’t really explain it but it’s like opening a casket full of honey and wine and sweet things to students who are very used to trash.
#their humanity is being watered!!!!!!!!!#to use another metaphor!!!#like it’s a flood lol#and me teaching it is a flood because we have to finish it by Christmas#(I will not extend it)#and so it’s very messy and we’re going so fast but also the kids are just all responding to it#and I just—————-it’s making me sooooooooo happy#I’m SO sorry for my overwrought metaphors it’s cause it’s the end of the week!!!!!!!#but it’s so good and it’s so funny and it makes me so happy#they’re so invested in Davy and Dora and Agnes they kind of just all ARE#I mean they would never say it but as a whole they’re not bored#the warmth and the fun is so alive and sort of more and more kids are reading#or at least reading MORE or at least feeling something#like it’s just.#it is c l i c k i n g#Also I am understanding it better this time around and my excitement levels are very high#which helps. like I really love to be talking about it with them#also the book is just SOOOOO quality. I can’t#explain it. but it’s just. it is BRIMMING with humanity and humor and pathos and ridiculousness#and yes it’s too long and yes it meanders but also it kind of never does#there is always something to look at to love to root for to laugh at#it’s a very warm very teenage book tbh. I love to be in the space of it right now
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I really want Christmas season to feel like Christmas season again this year. it hasn't for a couple years, I've kinda breezed right through it, but I want to try and focus on it this year.
#and if that person who's like 'holidays don't feel special when you're an adult#because you're supposed to have kids to watch experience the wonder of it all but instead you just have a dog and a sad void''#shows up on this post I swear to God I'm blocking them#that post made me so angry? like what the heck man I#I am single and happy. I don't have a dog and a sad void I have a dog and am full of joy#and I can be intentional about enjoying a season whether or not I have kids (which I never want to btw)???#I know that post is kinda old and some of you probably know the person who made that comment#nothing against them tbh it was just phrased really confrontationally and kinda frustrated me#there's not only one right way to live a life.... if I don't ever have kids I can still enjoy holidays as an adult??? hello??#ok sorry hater moment over I'm gonna be joyful now#Lu rambles
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And so it is done! Praise be our bird lady Hylea, even though she was a dick to me while making it.
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I tried getting multiple different lighting situations, but unfortunately none are great. If we're getting some sunlight tomorrow maybe I'll post another one in natural light.
Now, eagle (hah) eyed viewers might notice that there are two different shades of pink in this banner. This is definitely on purpose and not cause I ran out of the first one and bought a wrong one to stock up and then only noticed when it was too late.
You might also notice that wings don't look like weaving. That is cause they aren't. While the egg and the top part honestly went amazingly well on the round loom, the wings unfortunately bend into the wrong direction for the most part so it looked garbage when I tried to weave it the way I do usually. I then tried to weave it on top of the background, using the weft as another warp, but didn't look great either. Then I got the idea to maybe use the fact that I branched out in textile arts recently and just try something completely different. I ended up using a backstitch basically, but through the string itself to make it stick in one line. Honestly I'm kinda proud of that thing, cause it did come out pretty good. (Except that the one top line somehow got too long which meant I had to staunch the right wing so it wouldn't look too off kilter but at that point it would have been ludicrous to try and fix it so I did my best to work around it.)
Tbh I was too lazy to look up proper rim techniques but hey it works, so whatever.
The next project will take a while for sure, because I have about 5 million Christmas ducks to crochet, so we'll see when I get back to it.
#pillars of eternity#art#crafts#weaving#hylea#my project#i am hyped about the wings#it was what we in austria call a fiaseloabeit#lots of tiny precise bullshit#but it turned out rather well i like to think#and i finally have something to add to fandom again!#tbh i have gotten a bit jealous with people suddenly showing up again and me not having anything to join in#i am busy with other things right now#but i will try to update Hildraed sometime maybe#i know i keep promising to go back to writing and then not doing it#but i am trying really#i am just unfortunately failing#i'll get to it someday#i really do still love these games#and i'm so happy more people appreciate them#it is motivating but unfortunately motivation is just always enough#But!#i have this done finally#and that does make me happy
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“Constantia et fortitudine” - Emperor Sebastian I “der Sieghafte”
#i dont ever want to look at his face(blatant lie)#i love him and i love staring at pics of him but jfc trying to draw them. absolute murder to ME#well anyways. happy with this. took too many late like 4 hour sessions tho LMFAO#watched uhhhh animal documentaries and casino royale again :)#OKAY ANYWAYS ITS NOW YOUR FAVORITE! CONTEXT! INFO! LORE!#so ive mentioned before seb is charles vi. obviously. but i love to steal stuff from Joseph I as well 🥰#seb is a mix of both bcs he obv doesn't have an older brother in this au so yeah!#'Constantia et fortitudine'(by persistence and courage) was Charles motto!#i think that fits seb so well no? 🥹🥹#'der Sieghafte'(the Victorious) comes from Joseph I! bcs he was so successful in battle 🥰#again! so seb right???#i think so fucking often about him and nando's nicknames in this au#'the spirited' for nando's perseverance....'the victorious' for seb's well. victories haha#i think they fit them incredibly well both in this au and real life!!#even if this fucking murdered me to paint i like it a lot :) i thinm the hair was a lot of fun#actually im not even mad w this one! it was pretty fun once i got past a certain point honestly!#but the secondary expression whoch will be in a different post....jfc i wanted to throw my ipad away 😭#it doesnt help that it was 4-5 am when i was working on jt LMAO#but i believe in courage and perseverance! i will paint constantia et fortitudine 🥹#anwyaysyyyyys!!! hope you like!!!! i think i got him pretty accurate???? im pretty happy w the fsce tbh#wish i could draw his crown but i dont think ill ever subject myself to painting thay monstrosity#also dont really undertsand how they wore crowns back then alongside their giant periwigs?? dont crush the curls :<#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#boy king au
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Lol after my last post about Ike FEH is gonna give me Zelgius
Well played
#yeyarants#fire emblem#feh#fire emblem heroes#ZELGIUS ALT HELL YEAH#it’s him right#I’m not blind am I?#well I am but#you know what I mean#second one is a dancer for sure#I’m hoping Silvia#or maybe even Lene?#I’d be really happy for either of them#the banners now tbh I have not summoned on much#unless for fodder because they ain’t going for my fav characters#but it’s ok#I really have no clue of the second tho#BUT ZELGIUS
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Friendship ended with google sheets, now filofax is my best friend
#i’ve been tying to come up with a system for verb conjugations#like recording all the verbs i’ve encountered in spanish and their conjugations. just in present tense for now and then i will learn#past and future and any other cases or tenses i may need#and i did buy a dedicated language journal (which i’m really enjoying using. it has habit trackers; lots of space for notetaking and doing#textbook exercises; sections for vocab lists and to write out/give examples of grammar rules; journal prompts for writing#in your target language etc) but it only has 48 verb conjugation tables#i have already encountered 77 different verbs in some form or another and recorded their infinitives so that i can table them#even if i’m just focusing on the present tense right now i do not have enough space and i don’t want to clutter up the rest of my note pages#with just conjugation tables#so i needed a system and at first i was going to do a spreadsheet but then i was like realistically i will spend WAY too long on the layout#and i don’t think i’ll actually use it that much because google sheets is so fucking awkward on my phone#i’d have to pull my whole laptop out just to look at this spreadsheet. it won’t be fun. it’ll seem too much like hard work#so i thought okay. what do i actually want from a verb conjugation system. some form of organisation for sure. colour coding#the ability to move stuff around if i want to#so i’m just using my filofax and various pens#it’s a personal size filofax so i can fit two verbs per page plus a couple of sample sentences using the verbs#i am SO much more likely to grab this and use it; especially if i keep it with my main language journal#and i can always add new pages. or if i run out of space i can take out verbs i’m confident with now and replace with verbs i’m trying#to learn. (i’m starting with just the most essential verbs. since that’s the ones i’m usually finding anyway in A1 content)#i’m really happy with this idea tbh. i don’t know if i already said that#personal
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