#also all the fics i hid when i realized i didnt know what i was doing with them have returned

[separatist-apologist]

Because I am subscribed to your profile, I just got an email saying you have uploaded 120 fics. One, I’m glad you felt comfortable coming back. Two, I am absolutely tickled that I have an email list of your fics now and will be going down the list re-reading for the foreseeable future.

AO3 IS SO FAKE STOP PUTTING MY BUSINESS OUT THERE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE

[kyupidu]

Hello!!! Can I have a yandere twisted Astro mayhaps?? :0 or just twisted Astro if youre more comfortable, headcanon or oneshot, its up to you!! Either way thank you and I hope u have a nice day/night :)

● Forever in his arms.

Yandere!Astro x toon!reader

Warnings: Yandere, Asphyxiation, Delusions, forced affection, astro is abit mean in the first half

Notes: This is my first yandere fic it might not be the best sorry! but i hope you enjoy reading! also i couldnt get the images to work so i just didnt add them..

A smile would grace your face as you finished your fourth machine, two more to go! This was your last floor till you were able to finally go back up. You snickered abit at the thought of being able to brag about how to gotten to such a high floor all by yourself AND finally being able to sleep.

Venturing off to find your second to last machine, noticing a twisted Cosmo approaching you quickly hid behind two boxes and a shelf. Sitting there for abit you peeked to see if Cosmo was gone. This caused you to fail to notice a certain sleepy twisted approaching you.

Closing your eyes and sighing thinking that the coast is clear, you twirled around just to be grabbed by the throat at slammed against the wall. Your head would hurt as you writhed trying to escape its grasp though Astro being the stronger one was unphased by your attempts.

Thrashing and kicking and yelling you grasped the hand around your neck and pulled on it hoping his grip would lighten. Your panic filled eyes would meet tearful ones, recognizing them. tears gathered in your eyes you choked out "S-Stop! Stop Astro!" you pleaded so fearful you forgot that this wasn't your friend.

Hearing this put a thought in his ichor fogged head making him remember.. something. Although he could slightly remember it. You had stopped him with a worried look in your face , although he couldn't remember anymore than that. What he did know is remembering it made him feel.. something.

He felt warm.. warm like... a hug.. -wait a hug? This thought caused a picture to finally resurface, of you hugging him. This made his hand loosen and fall to his side. You fell to the ground and scrambled to catch your breath.

As your breathing somewhat calmed you quickly got up and ran. This would cause him to come back to his senses. No.. you couldn't leave.. he loved you so much.. he yearned for you to hug him again.. he yearned.. for you, he would make sure you NEVER left. As you ran trying to find a place to hide still trying to catch your breath you failed to notice you were running toward a research capsule.

As you approached it you finally noticed it, you were too late and tripped over it. Falling to the ground, before you could even try to get back up four arms picked you up rendering you helpless. Struggling in his hold trying to get out as he turned you toward himself. You looked at him sobbing thinking that you'd never see your friends again. To him you always looked so beautiful even when your crying like this.

You looked cute crying, but he was sure you'd look even better with a grin. Using on of his hands pat your head and the other to cup your cheek and wipe away your tears. It felt so good to be in your embrace once more.

You slowly stopped trying to get out realizing that wasn't gonna work. "It's okay.. everything's okay now.." he said bringing you closer to him. It was good you stopped trying, it was always gonna be useless. No matter how much you ran he would always catch you. He hoped this meant you loved him too. You would forever be in his arms.

[mmuffncakes]

Do Dagan/Rayvis, since it’s your fault the tag exists

youre right,... it is. but also your fault cause you wrote it for me <3

but!!!!

so originally i had it as a ship just cause "haha, lorge tentacle man + power bottom twink make brain go brrrrrrrrr" when i first saw them. but the more and more i played, and after playing several times and reading more lore and watching rayvis's reactions, learning his motivations and such (im a whore for rayvis, im not sorry), the more i realized that like...

this is *such* a toxic ship, in the best way possible. i know that sounds fucking whack, it is. but hear me out:

obviously, theres a power dynamic situation going on. dagan has control over rayvis completely due to rayvis's code that he follows through to the end. and rayvis? not happy about it. mans is PISSED that he not only got BESTED, but then got bested by someone who went missing for over 200 years. he could have said "fuck it, dagans dead, im free" but he spends his entire life seeking out what santari hid away because he REFUSES to break his code. and most people would assume death to a humanoid man after so long but he refuses to give up.

now, when we DO see the two together, its not just the code that rayvis follows. rayvis and dagan still share the same goal: tanalorr. but rayvis has just gotten infinitely more tired over the years because he wasted away in a prison for so long and then hunted down a man he could only hope was still alive. so he's just wanting to SEE tanalorr again since he'd first gotten there way back when. but with so many delays (and annoyances: peek cal and bode), the exhaustion is finally getting to him. but he refuses to give up on his and dagans dream.

on top of that, when we see them together, there's still this sort of scorned married couple on the brink of divorce. the lines "say that again and i'll cut out your tongue" "...it'll grow back" lives rent free in my head. rayvis KNOWS dagan can best him, kill him in even. but he doesnt. why?

because dagan likes the power/control too much. he likes it too much when rayvis kneels in front of him, confirming his loyalty and doesnt care that rayvis tenses when he leaves the room. dagan likes it too much that rayvis is still walking on hands and knees for him because of his code that rayvis so desperately wants to break but doesnt because he's too honorable of a man. and dagan uses it to his advantage. but there is, i think, a small amount of him that hopes that rayvis TRIES to break the code he has. dagan wants him to fight back, actually have no honor, break it.

"break it," dagan will whisper into rayvis's ear. "i know you want to." and rayvis wont, no matter how much he wants to. because that would only prove dagan *right*.

this ship is so like, toxicly co-dependent of each other. holding each other over one another in a way that just MMMMMMMMMMMM feeds me in a way i didnt think it could. they are messy, and toxic, and TERRIBLE for each other but FUCK mmmmMMMMMMM do i love it

that answers the first two questions last one is fucking "do i have an unpopular opinion" NO, its MY SHIP i have aLL THE RIGHT OPINIONS

still love your fic thooouuuggghh <3 (blow u lil kiss)

[altruistic-meme]

i didnt realize you rb an ask game until i found out why: question 24 (which you can answer alxhskdhs)

but also i wanna know 5 and 7 :>

dlfhsdlhfsdfh it hid from you how rude

you didn't specify which fics for 5 and 24 so im gonna use (wit)jitp >:]

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

mmm i don't know that i have any SPECIFIC questions i wish people would ask, but i would love to be given the chance to go off about literally anything to do with Kevin and Nathaniel's relationship :') so lemme think if i can pinpoint one thing to make into a question......

OKAY SO after scrolling back through some of (wit)jitp (and dying over your comments again as i always do sdkfshkf) there's a moment in chapter 10 where Nathaniel calls Kevin "Kev" which is a new nickname that he hadn't used before. so the question is, "why does Nathaniel call Kevin "Kev"?"

my answer for that: so first, here this the exact passage where he uses the nickname!

Eyes narrowing as he turned towards Kevin, smile still in place, he swung his racquet by his side a few times before holding it out for him to take. “Hey Kev,” Nathaniel drawled, the words sickeningly sweet. “Would you mind getting me a lighter racquet?”

Nathaniel and Kevin actually have multiple nicknames they use for each other, just because it's something my siblings and i also do! though Nathaniel and Kevin's nicknames tend to be situation specific, while my siblings and i will rotate through nicknames relatively frequently. "Neil" and "Day" are grounding nicknames, and "Neil" is a more general nickname as well. but "Kev" specifically is one that Nathaniel uses mostly to fuck with Kevin! he says it "sickeningly sweet" because he's using it to be an annoying little shit. and Kevin knows this, which is why he basically rolls his eyes in response.

[ also side note: i very intentionally used the word "drawled" here bc for some reason i just imagine Nathaniel intentionally using a slight southern accent for this exchange, just to fuck with Kevin. idk why, really, maybe it's the way my family does it too when we're messing with each other lmao ]

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

can i just say all of (wit)jitp???? mostly cus i can't say which aspects specifically without spoiling things we haven't gotten to yet ksdhkshgd a lot of the worldbuilding for (wit)jitp has to do with Nathaniel and his past :') but i am so so happy with everything i have noted down about how things happened to result in the changes we have from canon!!!

just to be a tease tho, one of the things im hugely proud of is very slightly hinted at in the very first chapter, when Sidney comments on Nathaniel "failing to follow orders" regarding his mother, and Nathaniel telling her that he actually did follow his orders that day 👀

24. Are there any easter eggs in [insert fic], and if so, what are they?

tbh i don't think so?? tho i might be thinking of easter eggs wrong... there are a lot of things (see above) that i've hinted at throughout the fic that haven't yet come up, but aren't easter eggs more like... idk things from the outside that are pulled into the story? idk. i don't think there are sldfhshf aside from me pulling like,,, Ape Escape and The Morgue in as references to a conversation with my coworkers and a terrible movie my family watched once, respectively 😂

thank you for this beloved <3

[ fic writer asks ]

[angelic-jeonghan1004]

Enhypen reacting to you cheating in a game to win

More enha timeeee I've got more stuff in the works for them so soon I'll make a masterlist! Doing a mixture of both video games and arcade games in this. If it's not obvious to tell from my past fics I love me some video games I'm now super into Genshin atm!! Heeseung is absurdly long btw sorry about that he's the only one I actually had an idea for from a random tropes list on Wattpad the rest I wrote the prompt games and ideas for sitting through a school lecture

Pairing: Enhypen x reader

Genre: fluff, crack

Warning: swearing!

Gif credits to rightful owner ✨

Heeseung

Thinking of a way to spend time with your boyfriend and have a fun date

You went to play laser tag, there's no physical harm in laser tag

Problem here is you're both competitive

And deciding against being on the same team

Decided to go being on opposite team

Whoever lost has to buy lunch

So going into the game in the black out neon room full of obstacles you both had one thing on your mind

"I'm going to win" was the one thought racing through both of your heads (spoiler alert you won in the end)

Protecting your chestplate for your life in fear of someone shooting you

The game got very heated but you thought strategically

You didn't try to find him (that was his goal to find you, but by his height yells or cheers of success eliminating a player you knew where he was 99% of the time) you actually avoided him

You went to get out all of his teammates

It wasn't hard you where in it to win it

You realized there's no way it's not just you and Heeseung now

An idea came to mind

Yelling to him you said

"Heeseung I have an idea to make this fun for us , meet me at the middle since I don't want to yell"

You both made your way to the middle very cautious of eachother but he was very curious of the challenge

Quickly you explained that you two should go on opposite ends of the laser tag maze but each step you take you have to do one shot no matter what

Due to your limited amo this intrigued Heeseung

How he could strategically move his lanky body around the maze without loosing tok much amo

He agreed

And you leaned in for a kiss before "putting the plan to action"

He quickly accepted the kiss closing his eyes taking in the moment before having to head to the opposite corner

That was until he heard the "Defeated" noise come from his chest plate as you shot him in the chest neon red lights covering the what used to be blue chestplate

You giggled as you broke the kiss

"UNFAIR" Heeseung yelled

"We can talk about it over lunch" you said putting your hand in his

You explained your true strategy to him at lunch and how you made that plan up just so he wouldn't kill you on spot

He peas so pouty

Just ate his food and sulked

"You owe me a fist game and next time let's try that challenge I was excited baby"

He'd say with just 🥺 eyes

Pls win this boy some sort of gift he deserves a pick me up

Jay

You guys where having a great time having an in home date

Then you disrespected man's gaming skills

Oh all hell broke loose into a heated argument

"I totally bet I could beat you in Tekken"

"Oh you fucking wish"

"Who do you main"

"Roger" (Roger is a Kangaroo)

"What the fuck are you doing? Representing Jake's home? That character takes no skill to beat people as"

"Yeah well who do you main"

"Is that even a question? Alisa Bosconovitch. A cyborg robot lady with fucking jet legs and chainsaw arms you can't tell me that's not cool"

"You're telling me I'M the one that plays someone that takes no skill to play as?"

You both knew there was only one way to settle this

Jay got out Playstation and everything for it and put it as a 5 match game

Settling yourselves into the game you both where doing actually really well

Way too well actually it was 2 to 2 so whoever won this round one the game

Your anxiety got too high

You where not gonna let this dude win

He'd be too cocky for his own good holding it over you

Quickly you had an idea as you saw his health was only 50% of the way nearing death and your ultra power and held up enough exp

"BABY IS THAT A SPIDER" you yelled looking at the ground near his leg

Causing him to roll away from his spot fearing a spider near his leg loosing focus

That's when you charged at his character

You could see the soul leave his body

When he saw the pink and magenta hair move speedy across the screen straight to his sweet little kangaroo in boxing gloves and a neck tie

"K.O" filling the screen you knew his yell was coming before he even did it

"AAAAAAAAA"

"WAS THERE EVEN A SPIDER"

"No baby I just had to through you off your rthym"

Man he was HURT

"I can't tell if that was foul or not. I'm going to talk with Niki on if what you did was fair or not"

"Babe it's not that deep-"

"No No No you owe me a rematch, kiss and patience as I consult with Niki"

Jake

Gosh this sweet boy

You two where playing dead by daylight on switches laying on opposite sides of the couch so you couldn't see eachothers screen

And you just kept scaring Jake coming up out of no where behind him

"Baby please just kill me you don't have to run up behind me" he was so scared please(〒﹏〒)

He was giving you puppy dog eyes that quickly went to fear as he shrieked from you running up behind him as he tried to start the car for the 18478282 time

You realized he was actually almost done fixing the car due to his pears so you went on a killing spree it was just you, Jake and some girl who was searching for fuel that you couldn't find

Getting back to Jake you realized he actually started the car and was ready to drive it and win the game

You hid behind a tree so he wouldn't see you

So in that moment you said "Jake can you toss the blanket I'm really cold"

Jake is too much if a gentle men he did so immedietly with a smile on his face you felt a little bad for what you where doing ngl

You took this chance and killed Jake's character

He knows that's how the game works that you you still could've done that without

But boy still yelled that it was unfair

Another boy who would just pout

Beware next round he's not going to be nice and will play the murderer

Sunghoon

Who knew a game of thumb war would get so aggressive

You where just waiting for the time to pass for a cafe to open up since you guys where too early before opening

The glares you shot eachother where unreal

Neither of you wanted to loose and both where confident in winning

But one thing was tempting you

The sign flipping over to open on the front door

So in that quick moment you felt really bad

But you stepped on his toe as you lifted your arms down and quickly put your thumb over his

"12345678910 I WIN"

"NO YOU DIDNT THAT WAS TOTALLY CHEATING"

He was so upset omg

The glare on his face

You know the look like just 😐 but definitely angry

But he couldn't hide the smile on his face when you leaned in to kiss his cheek

"I needed the game to end the cafes open now baby,,,"

He went blank for a second confused then

"OH SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT WE WHERE IN LINE FOR THE CAFE LETS GET IN"

A smile filled his face and he moved your hands to be in an actual hand holding way as you too went in

But don't get me wrong

This boy getting a rematch

And if you playing dirty he'll play dirty too

But for now he'll be fine having this cafe date of coffee/tea and pastries with you

Sunoo

Rthym games aren't a competition

But you guys made it one-

Who could get a higher score??

Originally a joke gone TOO far

Since here you are playing one song from Superstar Woollim, Superstar SM and Superstar JYP

Just 3 main and random superstar rthym games

Each thing was going alright then you got to Woollim

You both played the same songs but each got to choose a song

Woollim you knew The Eye was hard so you chose it and had him go first

He was doing surprisingly well though

Too well🤔

But suddenly Jungwon entered the room

You knew what to do

Make that boy jealous

"Hi bubs! How are you?" You said looking up to Jungwon

Jungwon was very polite asked you how you where

And Sunoo was not having it

He's fine with you being friends with all of enha

He encourages it!

But bubs is a pet name that's for him and him only😔😔

This caused his attention to tare away for a second

Suddenly in the blink of an eye his heart dropped as the "missed" noise came through the phone

The yELL

He was so mad

Once the song was done he immedietly went

"Did you do that on purpose?"

"Sort of"

And then you just did your turn and this boy gasped and look at you likeヽ༼⁰o⁰；༽ノ

He would be pettyyyyy

He'd be so mad

Pouting and glaring at you

Just completely done

You'd have to go in with a LOT of cuddles and affection

But he'd still not budge for a while

You got a better score than him so you won

But he will hold this over you whenever he wants something he'll be like

"remember when you cheated in a game we where playing by making me jealous? That was a little too much don't you think? Now grab me one of the ice cream bars from the freezer"

Jungwon

Wonnie this precious boy

Ppuyo ppuyo Tetris is not a game to play with others

It ruins relationships, friendships, family bonds (from personal experience as someone who got grilled on their Tetris skills while playing 1v1 while my friend was also doing terrible)

He got it since the characters looked cute

And Tetris is fun!

So why not??

You guys started playing it on the switch and everything was fine at first

Then it started getting faster

Wonnie chose the annoying little wizard guy that just yells every 5 seconds

It was driving you both up a wall ngl

So you where like how do I cheat in Tetris,,,

You realized you where gonna get a 5 in 1 move so it was gonna fuck up his play real hard

But if he realizes that's your move he can make one just as strong if he puts his brain to realize what spots he has open and he's good at coming back from riskfull moments

So you digged deep in your brain to think of something quick

It hit you then

"Wonnie did I ever tell you who my Enhypen bias was"

His face just sort scrunched and he was like ¯\_ಠ_ಠ_/¯ I thought it was me? Moment

"wouldn't it be me? I never thought to ask"

"Oh okay" legit you had gone in with the 5 in 1 move and he hadn't looked at the silver blocks that quickly started to fill his screen he wanted to know

"nonono who is it?" Turned to you he didn't even see the mess that was on his screen

Until he heard the god for saken wizard just yell in defeat

"wait no that's unfair you can't drop something like that on me while we where in a 1v1 match"

His eyes he would just ಠ︵ಠ

Boy so sad :((

He lost the game and now he doesn't know if you bias him or not

If you do bias him you'd just tell him and he'd be like you stressed me out for noThing??

If you didn't bias him he'd be fine with it but he'd need a little moment of confirmation

Idk give this boy some kisses you stressing him out

Niki

Intense DDR fight let's go

This boy don't go down without a fight

Neither do you

But as the levels kept going and the energy got more and more intense

You know it was very likely Niki could win

That boy is dancing prodigy type of guy

So he be doing these steps while also the hand work of the dance itself just to flex

Done with the cute boys snarky behavior

You did the one thing that would throw him of his rthym

Pretend to get hurt

You crouched in a way and made it seem like your knee was in pain but you where still doing the steps

Niki was gonna look over to you to be snarky and witty

But you looked in pain and this giant baby got panicked

"nononono baby are you okay? If you're in pain don't worsen your injury we can stop playing, what about your knee hurts?" He was panicking and you immedietly felt so bad

He stopped moving and so his score got worse and worse

You felt so bad you pretended to just act it out a lil more

"no don't worry Riki it's okay I'll be fine"

"don't say that you're in pain you could worsen your condition, let's find out what happened maybe you just buckled your knee? I've done that, be more careful please"

He legit went over to your board and tried to just stop your movements and left a kiss on your forehead

The song would end and your score would be higher but you would never do that as a cheat again

You didn't even have the courage to tell Riki after

He continued to be just so sweet and caring throughout the date

Would probably even text you afterwards like "Im sorry you injured your knee a little but I'm glad afterwards you felt better and I had a lot of fun :))"

Pls you better keep that all in till the day you die or tell him it's up to you but don't mess with this pore boy again like that pls(〒﹏〒)

[hollandsmushroom]

DON'T YOU SEE

JJ x Plus size reader

No fuxking clue how many words this is but here you go, my first fic in ages! I hope y'all enjoy.

Fluffy soft JJ is the whole plot really.

You laid on the HMS Pogue, an oversized shirt covering your body as everyone else swam around the boat. Your hands were pressed into the soft flesh of your abdomen, you felt the bit where your stomach stuck out where your bikini pressed too much into your chub. Your friends looked to be having an amazing time, and you wishes so much to join them, but there was a deepest fear of rejection and mockery for your body. The rest of the pogues had already seen you in a swim suit before but today felt different, when you woke up and looked in the mirror, it felt wrong, you felt bigger, misshapen, unattractive, simply, you felt wrong. JJ watched you from the water, his eyes scanning your still figure, admiring how your shirt feel across your breasts, tucking into your back roll, slipping down off your belly and ending at your thick thighs. God, your thighs, part of him wanted to bite the soft flesh of your inner thighs as you wrapped your legs around this head. He shook his head, trying to get the thought out of his head because he could feel himself growing hard.

"Y/n, you joining us?" JJ called, trying to distract from his smutty thoughts.

"Nah, not today, sorry JJ," you replied, rolling your head to the side to look at him as you spoke.

"Aw, come on, the waters great and it's so hot out you have to swim," Kie shouted as she splashed at John B and Pope who wrote annoying her.

"Y/n, if you dont come in I'm pulling you in," JJ spoke, swimming closer to the boat, "I'm serious"

You looked down at him, seeing the threat behind his eyes, you stood up, it was slightly painfull seeing as your sweaty thighs had stuck to the fiberglass of the boat. You sucked in a deep breath, tugging the shirt over your head, leaving you in just your high waisted bikini. JJs eyes widened, he let out a low whistle, mumbling 'damn'. Had it been most other days you wouldnt have caught the adoration in his voice but you would have taken his explitive as a compliment, but you weren't like you were most other days. Taking his words as mockery, tears pricked your eyes, you dove over him, entering the water just behind him and diving deeper and swimming underneath his legs and under the boat, gasping for breath when you came up on the other side. You laid in your back, ears under water as you caught your breath, what you couldn't hear was the group freaking out, especially JJ.

"Y/n should have come up by now" he spoke, spinning himself around in the water.

"Yeah, they should have," John B agreed looking down into the murky depths past his feet but seeing nothing.

"Y/N!" JJ called before diving down, looking to see if you had hit a rock or something but unable to find any sign of you.

You lifted your head out of the water, hearing your friends call out for you, and it clicked, something you hadn't realized in your fog of self loathing that you had dove into the water and then disappeared. They must be freaking out, you thought as you gripped the edge of the boat, kicking you legs as you hoisted yourself in, grabbing your shirt immediately to cover your body.

"Hey guys," you hollered, catching there attention as they all searched for you.

"Y/N, what the actual fuck, we thought you drowned" Pope yelled

"You scared the shit out of me," John B chimed in

"If you ever do some shit like that again you're dead to me, I was so worried" Kie added finally

JJ, as opposed to everyone else didnt say anything, just climbed into the boat and enveloped you in a hug. You flinched at the contact, not wanting anyone to feel how big you were.

"I thought you died," he whispered in your ear, and something in his voice broke when he spoke.

"Well I'm alive," you spoke, coldly, remembering what he said. He pulled back from the embrace, trying to look you in the eye, sensing that something was off.

"Yo, you good" he asked gently, still trying to catch your eye.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just remembered that my mom needed me home for something" it was a total lie, the only thing that your mom needed you to do was to stay the fuck out of her way.

"Oh, okay, guys we got to get Y/n home, they have something to do," JJ shouted to the rest of the group, even though he didnt really believe it.

The group was quick to return to shore, all piling into the twinkie to get you home. John B., Pope, and Kie all spent the way to your house chatting, but you stayed quiet, your hands fiddling in your lap, JJ was quiet too, watching you with concern and curiosity in his eyes, what was up with you? You never would have done the disappearing act earlier on any other day, you knew it would cause too much concern, he was also worried about your silence, you were often such a talkative and fun person.

"Sorry for cutting the fun short guys," you broke your silence as you stepped out of the van.

"Nah, it's fine, you didnt, cause ya know, the fun never ends," John B. smiled at you

"Plus, there is always time tonight, we could meet back up at the Chateau," Pope chimed in.

"Yeah, maybe," you smiled softly, thinking about how you didnt want to see anyone else today, just lay in bed. As you climbed the steps to your house someone caught your wrist making you turn around, your eyes meeting JJs. As soon as you saw him, you felt your heart melt a little, how gently his hand was on yours, but then you remembered what he said earlier. You pulled your wrist from his grasp, looking him dead in the eye.

"Yes, JJ?" You asked, a slight bitterness in your tone, causing him to step back.

"I-I just wanted to say goodbye," he said, scratching the back of his neck anxiously.

"Oh, bye" you said, opening the door and closing it quickly behind you, your back hitting the wood.

JJ stood there for a second, staring at the paint peeling off the door, feeling wounded at your coldness.

"Hey JJ, you comin?" Kie yelled at him from the Twinkie, snapping him out of it.

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled, jogging back down the steps.

You stayed in your room for hours, your phone buzzing on the night stand as you hid under the covers. The sun had set on the water, the sky still shining a faded orange and purple. You hadn't moved since you got home, just laid in bed and let your mind stop, the existence of your body disappearing beneath the covers.

Your cheeks were damp with tears, wiping them away as they feel was too much work. There was a light knock on your window, making you shoot up straight in bed, looking at the window pain, behind sat a very concerned looking JJ.

You got out of bed, lifting up the window and stepping aside so JJ could climb in, this was something he had done before, crash at your house if he was tired of John B. but didnt want to go home.

"Hey Y/n," he spoke softly, a rarity for JJ

"JJ, what are you doing here?" you hissed, still not wanting to be around anyone

"Well, you weren't answering your phone and you were acting really weird earlier so I, I got worried"

"Yeah, like you care" you snapped, still over reacting at his words earlier

"What the fuck is your deal," he bit back "I'm trying to be nice, to be a good friend, and maybe make you realize that I fucking like you but you keep shooting me down,"

"What?" you muttered

"Nevermind, I shouldn't be here," he said, making a move for the window.

"No, you cant like me," that caught his attention, he turned around, your face was confused, your brain clearly trying to put things together, "how could you like me when I look like this, I mean, you even mocked me this morning,"

"Wait, what? Mocking you? When, what? And why the fuck cant I like you, is there some rule somewhere written in fucking stone,"

"Yeah, you made a mocking cat call when I took off my shirt to swim,"

"You thought I was mocking you?" His brow furrowed "I wasnt mocking you, that was genuine, I was trying to get you to realize that I have a thing for you!"

"JJ why?"

"Why? Why what? Why do I like you? Are you serious? Have you seen yourself!"

"Yes, yes I fucking have and that's exactly why you cant like me," you yelled, a tear escaping your eye.

"What are you even saying, Y/n?"

"This" you gestured to your body "This is why you cant like me, I'm fat JJ, I jiggle and my thighs rub, I have back rolls, I-" JJ cut you off, grabbing your face in his hands, thumbing your cheeks softly as he pressed his lips to yours hastily. You melted into him, giving yourself to the kiss, as if something in you surrendered to his affection.

You both pulled away, gasping for breath, forehead leaning on each other.

"Y/n, I like you, and that's always been something I've had a hard time saying, but I do, I like how you stomach sticks out, and how thick your thighs are, sometimes I imagine myself between them," you pulled back, looking him dead in the eye and biting your lip. "Moving on, I like how your boobs aren't a handful, they are like 5 handfuls, and how soft your back rolls are, I like you, I like your body, so get that through your dumb head," he joked, tapping your skull causing you to giggle. He pushed you down onto the bed, him landing softly on top of you. "Now that's out of the way, will you please just be mine, Y/n?"

"Yeah, JJ, I'll be yours, happily," his face broke into a smile as he ran his hands up and down your sides, leaning down and mashing his lips with yours.

[seancekitsch]

Powerplay: a Marko x Reader fic

part 3 of 3, previous part here

Warnings: harassment, vamp typical shit, cursing, death/killing, smut mentions, reference to the book

Marko was a good boyfriend, it turned out, except for when he wasn’t. You liked the sweet little kisses, the teasing way he snaps his jaw at you when you catch him staring, the way he holds you while you’re falling asleep even though he doesn’t have to.You like that he listens, more than your friends do. You rang another friend the other day, and were left waiting with the endless ringing again. You want to be upset, but they weren't as close as you were hoping they’d be. Your close friends were back in New York, three thousand miles and a year of working behind you. And they were Marko and his brothers now.

You love the way he keeps you safe, your protector being probably the deadliest thing you could encounter. You love the way he laughs, always joking and jovial. You always thought his smile hid a joke like some mystery, but now you're in on it too, and it's the funniest thing. There is no secret  joke, just Marko seeing the world with eyes full of humor. He sees the little things, and now he shows them to you. You love the way you can speak without speaking. Silence followed by heavy laughter, kisses, and understanding.

You even love that week you were on your period and every night he ate you out until you screamed yourself hoarse.

“Marko,” you’d say, “lets ride.”

And he would obey, letting you hop on the back of his bike, always after work, always too fast. You'd like to imagine him crashing as the wind whips your hair, stings your face. What that would be like, huh. It's what you assume he feels like when he flies, free and wild in the night. He caters to your every whim, makes you feel the happiest,  as long as the sun has set.

He was less a good boyfriend when he was hungry, brooding and refusing to get close to you. He would be irritable, pick fights, silent treatment. He would purposely leave you in silence, but he wouldn't ask for a taste, despite your offering. He respected you enough not to try that. Other times, he would make sure that you could hear every thought in his head. His thoughts sounded like shouts, always telling you to get the fuck away, always reminding you how vulnerable you were, how easy to kill you’d be. It's almost maddening. You never knew which nights he would be the silent ones, or which ones would be the loud ones.  

“Marko,” you’d say, “This is just temporary.”

You don't even have to think the words for him to know what you mean. Or those moments during the day when it's highlighted just how different he was, would always be. He would always be twenty and handsome and having fun, with a guaranteed group of friends. With a family he belonged with. You would always age, you would have to find something else to do eventually, and you would probably have to leave Santa Carla, because he wouldn't. You could always bore him, with Marko one day realizing you can't keep up anymore. You would always be weaker, and no matter how often Marko puts you first, he always holds the power. You’re only the decision maker because he lets you be. He could always take that power back. Find someone new when you get old and he stays the same age. He will always be this way, and you will always change.

It's those nights you think of pulling away from him, and you hope he never hears those thoughts. You love him, but he’ll always say it's not temporary. It's not true.

You love Marko today.

The jingling of the bell snaps you from your thoughts, head rising only to be face to face with one of the surf nazis. Huh, guess the boys didn’t clear all of them out. This one was tall, a skinhead with an upturned pug-like nose, wearing a lot of denim with eyes alight with mayhem in his agenda. Oh, please don’t fucking break anything.

“Hey Baby,” he sneers. God, his voice was even worse than his looks and his smell.

“Not your baby,” you deadpan, wishing desperately for him and his friends to leave without stealing or breaking anything forcing a sickeningly sweet customer service tone, “But what can I help with?”

Maybe good customer service will get them in-and-out quicker.

“That hot little body of yours could help me out,” his tone is outright mocking. God, is this how dudes like these think they can pull? You can’t even hide your grimace as you flinch at the words. If there was anyone else, just one other person working tonight, this wouldn’t be happening. You know this. Working nights alone practically invited this brand of harassment.

fuckfuckfuck. It’s way too early for Marko to be sniffing around, and if you can get them to leave the next four hours of your shift will be miserable. The man laughs, and it makes your blood run cold. He leans over the counter, past the little curtain of incense haze; breaching your only barrier of safety.

“I bet it could. Couldn’t it, baby?”

His large arms press against the glass of the counter and your eyes immediately flicker from them to the back room, where your knife is. He straightens up.

“Cat got your tongue?”

You frown, meeting his eyes now.

“Do you plan on buying anything we sell?” The Bauhaus record you have playing over the speaker skips, and you almost jump. It's just enough to break the tension, the rising bile in your throat clearing.

“I come in here for you, girlie,” and he affirms what you already know. Now that half of the surf nazis were gone, they were struggling to maintain their turf on the boardwalk. So harassment and torture at their hands were on the rise. Many people over the past few weeks had been dodging them in the stores around here, and now apparently they had caught wise to that. Done with it, you take a step back, leaning yourself against the back shelf to retreat further into the curtain of nag champa.

“You can fuck off,” you offer, gaining confidence as you realize the bong behind your head was more than affordable, and if you broke it over his head, you could cover it.

He opens his mouth to respond, but-

The bell on the door jingles again. A familiar smile fades into a scowl. Marko looks like one of those greek heroes tonight, maybe if only because his presence saves you from the gross comments (or anything worse) of the shaved head across the counter. He immediately distracts the surfer from you.

“Why don’t you get outta here, buddy? Me and the lady were just discussing me trying her out later,” the man spits, and you almost gag at the mental image of that.

Marko laughs, that high pitched full body laugh you love so much.

“That’s funny, buddy,” He throws the man’s nickname back at him, “Cause that’s my old lady right there.”

You loved and hated when he called you that. Technically, you are a year older than the year he turned. The first time you all realized that, Paul gave himself a stomach ache laughing over the ‘older woman’ Marko brought home. Tonight though, the nickname brings the biggest smile to your lips.

“Damn right I am,” you chime in, “and you couldn’t take the hint.”

Marko seals the deal by striding over to where you are and pulling you into a kiss over the counter. It doesn't take much more for the surf nazi to leave, the jingling of the door opening announcing his departure.

“I’m gonna make sure we kill the rest of them before the week is out.”

He waits the three hours it takes for you to be able to lock up behind the counter with you, loosely holding your hips and following you around, only moving away from you to pick out new records when one ends. 

Come over tonight, Marko thinks, and you know it isn't a suggestion. You kiss him hard on the mouth, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him to press against you. His arms automatically find themselves around your waist, squeezing you as he eagerly returns the kiss. This wouldn’t be your first time at their dilapidated hotel, with sprawling caves and chandeliers and beautiful spray painted murals on the walls. The first time you were there, he brought you there while the others were hunting. He fucked you on any surface not covered with knick knacks they'd collected or takeout containers, leaving you to sheepishly blush while he proudly talked to the others when they returned, deep red hickies and a bite mark on your collarbone you couldn't hide. The next time, the boys and Star and Laddie welcomed you in with booze and a feast and a fun night where you had to crawl out of the cave at dawn looking like a mess. Either way, he waits for you to agree before he leads you to his motorcycle.

“Star, Why don't you just become one of us already?” Paul whined, holding his half eaten eggroll like a cigar, “You're already living with us, Mama. We just want to be friends forever.”

She scrunches her nose, smoothing the long hair of Laddie’s head in her lap. The boy was tired, their unofficial little brother or not, he was still an eight year old.

“Or maybe,” David starts, dropping down from the rim of the check in counter of the hotel, “Star can just have some fun with them and we don’t even have to do what Max wants.”

The boys all laugh, Dwayne’s shoulders turning inward, while Paul smacks Marko in the chest behind you. Whoever Max was, he was someone that could give the boys orders; something you didnt think possible besides their own little group hierarchy. You'd figured out pretty quickly that David was the leader, Marko was his right hand, Dwayne was the left hand; with Marko enforcing, playful and impulsive, and Dwayne being the level head, logical and the one who often kept the boys from fighting and made them all remember why they loved each other so much. Paul was the baby. Both literally and figuratively. He was the messiest, the most likely to slip up;. He was also the one turned last. So when Star decides to be one of them, she’ll be the new baby. Then Laddie.

“No,” Star affirms, “No, I can’t do that to Michael.”

“Michael,” David tests the name on his lips, tongue darting out to lick them after he says it. The curly haired brunette on the boardwalk had a name. Then his eyes flick to you. There's a sharpness to them that feels so different from Marko’s. David is trying to stare through you, not to look inside of your head, to look past it, to see any weakness. A challenge.

“Who’s Max?” you speak up from your spot on Marko’s lap. You can feel him tense under you, but David smiles.

“You don't know about Max? Marko, you didn’t tell her about Max?”

Marko’s hand wraps around your wrist as David continues.

“Max knows all about you, y/n. There’s a reason you're here.”

Here as in, still alive in a vampire den, or here tonight specifically?

Mind thing? You think, and Marko leans his head down against your shoulder as he nods.

“So he knows Marko and I are X-men? Is he Professor X?”

You hear Dwayne and Paul chuckle from the other side of the circle, and Dwayne mutters, “Yeah something like that,” as he swats his hand at Paul’s mesh-covered chest.

“He sired us,” David clarifies.

“You feel it right?” changing the subject, “You feel like you need to be near Marko?”

Marko squeezes your wrist in encouragement, and you nod.

“He’s my boyfriend.”

“That's not what I mean.”

You know what he means. It's the way you feel Marko before you see him, the way you can never sneak up on him.

You nod again.

“That’s what Max wanted to know. Marko, do you wanna tell her, or should I?”

What does he mean? You think and the man below you perks up.

Come with me. His palms grip your hips and gently push you to stand, and he follows suit before taking the lead.

He leads you towards the mouth of the cave, where you enter and away from any listening ears.

“So you know how David is dating Star?” he asks, voice low and close to you in the shadows.

“If that’s what they’re doing,” you joke, and he laughs along with you.

“Well, he thought they had what we have, and that's why she’s with us.” He reaches for your hands to hold them, dropping any playfulness from before.

“I’m supposed to turn you, Max thinks. He’s a lot older than us, and he says some vampires have mates or something similar to that. Others they have some deep mental connection with. The guys… we can hear each other sometimes if we try hard, because we’re a pack. I don't have to try with you and that's why Max thinks it's different.”

Turn you? Like, capital T- Turn you? Into one of them? If he turned you, you’d never see the sun again; never feel its warmth. You’d have to drink blood, and human blood at that. You’d become a killer, and you’d have to keep killing. While you aren’t innocent, killing kind of seems like it would be a stretch for you. Some of their victims had to be innocent, but would your hunger corrupt your morals one day?

It's like he can see the wheels turning in your head, ability to hear your thoughts or not.

“Y/n, you don't have to. Fuck, this was dumb to bring up. David thought you were ready, but if you don't want to I won't make you…” He trails off, visibly a little more deflated.

But if you did, you would be on the same level as Marko. All of the insecurities you have about your relationship would just… stop existing. Your relationship’s expiration date would disappear, your fears about having to leave him or him leaving you would disappear. You'd have people and a place to belong and lover and guaranteed group of friends to be a new family.

“How does it work, Marko?” your voice surprises him, and in honesty, he brought you to the mouth of the cave to give you an out. If you wanted to leave here, leave him specifically, he was going to let you.

“You gotta drink, uh, vampire blood.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

You shrug.

“Are you sure? There's no take backs for this,” Marko’s voice is stern, unlike you ever heard it before.

Deadly sure, Marko.

He smiles, slowly like the moon rising in the night before it crescendos into the wide toothy grin you're so used to seeing.

Marko leads you back into the den of the cave where the others are hanging out.

Dwayne is the first to approach the two of you.

“Everything okay?”

You nod thankfully, offering him a smile.

Paul swoops in next.

“You better be tellin’ me you're joining the fam, chica!”

He tries to drape his arm around your shoulder, but Marko pushes him away playfully, both of the boys smiling.

“Let’s get this girl a drink!” Marko shouts, and the guys start up hollering and laughing.

Marko leads you back to where you had originally been sitting, his designated folding chair. He gestures to you to sit down, while he looks to David for something. Over his shoulder, you can see Star frowning as she watches on.

“Glad you got to talk it out,” David remarks as he hands a bottle of wine to Marko. Maybe you’ll be able to get used to his mannerisms in half a century. Marko hands off the bottle of wine to you, and your hands dip with the weight of it.

The wine bottle is bejeweled, another do it yourself project that the guys seem to love so much. It's heavy in your hands, dark and unseeing down the neck of it, but full. Marko crouches down between your legs, palms flat against your thighs as everyone waits with bated breath. You uncork the bottle, noticing the dark red staining on the cork, and knowing exactly what’s in it now. Two shaky hands bring the bottle to your lips, tilting your head back as you let the contents flow into your mouth, filling it. The ‘wine’ is thick, warm and salty but feels like it's already intoxicating you from just being in your mouth.

“That’s all Marko’s blood, you know,” David remarks, and you swallow deeply. All Marko. He drained his blood for you, weakened himself for you. Your eyes flicker to him, and he smiles up at you from his spot between your legs.

You smile back at him, widely, teeth stained with blood.

[thechangeling]

Out of our heads Out of our minds

So evil writer brain decided to cook up and incredibly toxic kitty fic because apparently I'm a terrible person lol. Blame @ilikebooks8 for letting this see the light of day.

The title is based on the song Out of this world by Bush.

Cw: slightly nsfw, violence, cheating, incredibly toxic behavior, beloved characters making bad choices, and implied sex.

Kit returns.

He returns to Ty with the same dazzling smile and charming witt, only now he seems to have grown even more impossibly beautiful as time has passed.

Now he's all hard lines and defined muscles and piercing sinful blue eyes that make Ty so angry he could scream.

Kit laughs and Ty wants to tear his insides out. Wants to rip Kit's heart right out if his chest just like he did to Ty. The painful gnawing rage of a betrayal that still stings after all this time. And yet still, Ty heard Kit was in danger and he came running like a man obsessed.

Ty knows deep down now matter how angry he is, he could never let anything happen to Kit. Nothing permanent anyways. Sometimes when the ache becomes to difficult to bare, Ty imagines punching that stupid smirk right off of his face. Or choking him hard enough to leave bruises. Of course Ty would never actually do such a thing. The sight of Kit in pain, any sort of pain is just too unbearable.

And that's the worst part. No matter how angry Ty gets he knows it can't last. And no matter how painful it is to be near Kit again, he still feels this unexplainable pull. This whispering in his ear to get closer and closer. To reach out and touch.

But it's stupid, and it's wrong anyways because Ty already has someone. Anush who was by his side the whole time at the scholomance and has never betrayed him. Anush who is sweet and thoughtful and gorgeous. Ty should be happy. After all, wasn't this what he always wanted? Someone to be there for him?

So he tried to distract himself from Kit by throwing himself into spending time with Anush and working the case. That's all Kit was now, just the latest problem to solve. A supernatural disaster. They would save him and stop the oncoming war and everything would be fine.

And then Kit would be gone. Blind panic teared at Ty's insides at the thought. There were these moments with Kit where they would make eye contact, or they would bump into each other in the kitchen and their fingers would brush and Ty would just desperately want to wrap Kit in his arms again.

He wanted to ask if Kit had really meant what he said that day on the beach. Sometimes when Kit stared at him with that soft sad smile on his face Ty wondered if they were going through similar things. Sometimes Ty wanted to tell him that he wished he had never met Kit either.

Kit Herondale was dangerous and unpredictable and loving him was like holding a live wire. But funnily enough the same could probably be said about Ty. Especially lately.

He felt like he was constantly in pain. Like his body ached with invisible wounds that made it impossible to breathe. The world was brutal and unforgiving, berating him with constant noise and blinding lights jabbing hot pokers into his brain. And the people with their sickly sweet smiles as they demanded he bare his soul.

But what if there was nothing left anymore? What if his soul had died with Livvy? Ty tried to cling onto the things that made him feel better. He hid away in his favorite spot, listening to his favorite music and pouring over Sherlock. Repeating the words to himself over and over again like they could pull him out of this tailspin. Ty distracted himself with Anush's sweet kisses and wandering hands as he tried to turn his brain off for once in his life.

But his soul was screaming out for another person to be the one touching him. He wanted Kit and that was infuriating. It made no logical sense. Not only was Kit responsible for breaking his heart but he also was notorious for playing fast and loose with his own life. Ty couldn't spend all his time constantly feeling like his heart was living outside of his body. Constantly in danger of being ripped open by some dark and evil thing.

Ty had everything he thought he wanted. But it still wasnt enough.

During another sleepless night, Ty found himself wandering the institutes halls. At this point he was simply just overtired. Too many nights spent worrying or studying or reading instead of sleeping. Now his body doesn't remember how to rest. Ty was far too exhausted to operate on logic or reason so he found himself standing outside of Kit's door, wondering absentmindedly how he got there.

Ty placed his hand against the door, fighting the urge to open it and walk through. He can remember the first time he waited outside of Kit's door, just like it was yesterday. He had no idea at the time why he was so drawn to the mysterious boy who had shown up at the institute after Ty had threatened him with a knife. The boy who turned out to be a lost Herondale. And honestly after all of this time Ty still couldn't explain it.

This is a bad idea, He thought to himself as he slowly turned the doorknob. This is a terrible idea. Ty, driven by pure need like fire under his skin, pushed the door open.

Kit was awake as Ty suspected he would be, sitting by the window and staring out into the night sky. Under the moonlight he was glowing. He turned around to stare at Ty, first with a look of shock, and then that same hallow desperation Ty had been seeing on Kit's face lately.

He also looked angry.

"What the hell are you doing in here Ty?" He sounded exhausted. Ty almost felt guilty in a sense. He stared at Kit for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"I don't know," he whispered, staring at the ground. "I suppose I was compelled." Ty let his gaze slowly rise up Kit's body, drinking it in.

Kit scoffed harshly. "Compelled? By what exactly, Tiberius?"

Ty looked up at Kit's face in surprise. He rarely called Ty by his full name. Ty really didn't like how it felt. Cold and distant. Ty sighed, pushing his fingertips against his collarbone and tracing it slightly.

"I don't know. I guess I just needed to know. I need to know why you left me." Ty tried not to let himself sound desperate or weak, but he had become worn down by this point. He couldn't keep up his defenses much longer.

"Why didn't you want me?" He muttered. "Why wasn't I good enough?"

And there it was. The painful truth that Ty had been avoiding. The fact that Kit had tossed him aside just like so many had before. Like Paige. Like his father. He had always tried so hard to make people happy. To live up to their expectations. But in the end it didn't matter how hard he tried, sometimes there was just no pleasing certain people.

Sometimes it seemed like there was no point in being good and following the rules if nothing ever changed. If Ty always ended up in the same place. If people always saw him as a problem or an inconvenience or worse, then he could just live up to their expectations. Be selfish and cold and cruel because no amount of begging and smiling was going to earn him respect.

Kit glared at him in shock. "Who the hell do you think you are? Coming in here to play mind games with me?" Before Ty could register what was happening, Kit was storming towards him and shoving him up against the wall with a loud thunk.

The feeling of Kit touching him again after all this time was dizzying. Kit was shorter then him so he needed to crane his neck a little to look up at Ty, which meant that his throat was completely exposed for Ty to stare at.

"I told you how I felt and you did nothing! You ignored me!" Kit cried. "I wanted you more then I've ever wanted anything Ty! I still do!" Tears were streaming down his face. Ty stared at Kit, completely frozen. His wrists were pinned to the wall by Kit's hands and their faces were inches apart.

Ty struggled to collect himself. "I didn't know what was going on," he gasped out shakily. "I was a mess Kit. I just had to get her back. But-." He cut himself off. It was all for nothing. Ty had lost Livvy in the end and he had lost Kit as well.

Ty shook his head. "Does this mean that you love me?" His voice sounded so far away. Like the words were being pulled from some unexpected place within him. Kit let out a soft gasp and squeezed his eyes shut before fixing his expression into a blank slate. He leaned forward slightly so that their lips were just barely touching, then gently trailed his mouth across Ty's cheek to his ear.

Ty felt him smirk slightly before Kit whispered in his ear. "Go to sleep Ty. Go back to your boyfriend."

And before Ty had time to think, he was lashing out. He shoved Kit backwards as hard as he could with a snarl. Kit went flying across the room and slammed into the opposite wall. If Kit had been human it probably would have knocked him out. Ty stared in horror at what he had done as Kit clutched his ribs and groaned.

"You seriously have some anger management issues!" Kit snapped at him, glaring pointedly. Ty knew that. When he was younger he used to have fits of uncontrollable rage all the time. Words didnt come easily to him so he would hit, scratch, bite or throw whatever was closest to make people realize he was in pain. When he wanted to say "don't touch me" or "you hurt my feelings" but he just could make the words form properly, he would get angry. And then he would lash out.

Ty thought he had been getting better at managing his emotions and communicating. But there was something about Kit Herondale that just evaporated every last bit of logic and reason he had until all that was left was the urge to scream.

Ty gaped in shock, searching for the right thing to say. "By the angel Kit, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that I swear!" He pleaded. His fingers were beginning to shake and flutter at his sides. He tapped desperately against his thigh, scratching at the material of his sweatpants to try and calm himself down.

Kit just shook his head and laughed humourlessly. "Honestly Ty, we should just tell the Seelie Queen not to worry. And Janus, and all the other people who want the first heir dead. You'll destroy me just fine on your own." He gaze was piercing and ruthless.

Ty's breathing was frantic and erratic as he shook in agony. He could feel he was on the urge of a meltdown.

Kit pulled himself to his feet. He stared at Ty longingly and then smiled slightly. A genuine smile. "But honestly what a way to go. Does that answer your question sweetheart?"

Ty gasped soundlessly, his hands shaking at his sides. He fought to get a hold of himself. Kit studied Ty for a moment, then slowly began to approach him.

"Why are you here Ty? Why did you come here exactly?" Kit was speaking in a soft lulling voice as if he was trying to hypnotize Ty.

"I'm here because I miss you," Ty admitted. "It's confusing. Because I'm still mad at you. But I can't stop thinking about you." Ty felt as though he was close to crying, which was concerning because he rarely ever cried.

Only for Kit.

Kit scowled at him slightly. "You're with someone else, remember?"

Guilt instantly pierced through Ty's chest. "Yeah I know, I'm a terrible person," he said bitterly. He didn't want to admit to himself that he had been trying this whole time to distract himself from Kit. That he was using Anush. But that was technically true. Ty saw the opportunity to lose himself in a pretty boy with an honest smile who loved him wholeheartedly.

Ty thought he could forget but then here he was. All roads led to Kit Herondale.

Kit sighed and reached for Ty, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. "You arent terrible. You're spiraling. And you come to me like I can save you from yourself? Please," Kit chuckled. "I can barely save myself."

"I don't need you to save me."

Kit stared at him with an expression that was hard to place. Then he smiled, but it wasnt a kind smile. It was a satisfied, knowing smirk. Kit traced his thumb under Ty's chin then back up to his lips, forcing them to part slightly.

"You think I don't know why you're here love?" He cooed in a voice that was both soothing and alluring. You think I don't know what you're after?" Kit sighed, sounding a little worn down. "If I was a better person, a stronger person. I would tell you to leave." He dipped his hands down underneath Ty's shirt.

Ty shivered at the cold feeling against his skin. He dropped his forhead down to lean against Kit's, revealing in the contact. "Lucky for you," Kit whispered against his lips, "I'm not."

Ty felt the last string of his self control snap as he kissed Kit roughly, grabbing onto his torso and pulling him closer. Kit responded to the kiss eagerly, parting his lips for Ty and laughing deliriously as their lips met again and again.

Kit was tearing off Ty's shirt as he walked him backwards, closer to the bed. As soon as he had slid it off if Ty's body, Kit tossed the shirt aside and went back to kissing him. Ty felt his knees hit the bed frame and he fell backwards onto the soft welcoming mattress, pulling Kit down with him.

Kit kissed a line down Ty's neck to his pulse point and Ty groaned, burying his fingers in Kit's curls. He was lost in a sea of pure desperation.

"Tell me to stop," Kit whispered between kisses. Ty froze for a moment. Then he understood.

Kit was giving him an out.

Ty responded by pulling Kit even closer and letting his head fall back against the pillows.

He closed his eyes and let Kit Herondale ruin him.

The morning after was the hardest. Ty pulled himself from Kit's arms and forced himself not to look back.

And that was when he finally cried.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

WHAT THE HELL FAE! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS OMG 😭

[grapefruitflavoured]

13. talk abt a story or au you came up w (i think that's the right one?)

WELL

this fic would follow azula post-atla (right after the finale, ignoring what the comics did to her the comics fucked up) i'm actually really excited about it skdfjlskdaf

ive had this idea in february but realistically im never gonna write it so here are the notes i wrote (im so sorry i don't know how much detail to go into so i just put it all)

anon you just opened my pandora's box

-

these are some of my notes for it, i'm so sorry

its sectioned off by chapter

chains

Starts as Katara is chaining Azula to the grate, she manages to get out and runs into the forest, sobbing. she didn't have anywhere to go, she just needed to get out

Hiding

she hid from everyone (all people, not just those she knew) bc it was all a reminder of what she did and how she "failed" the fire nation so she went to forests and swamps and stuff to hid

she did her own things and let herself think what She wants to do, not what ozai would want

"its not worth it"

spirits

She sees spirits and animals and starts to like them. Realizes they aren’t out to get her. They help calm her from panic attacks

no redemption arc tho. not everyone gets one and azula is one of those people imo

she regrets what she did but isn't the type of person to try and fix it or anything

she runs from it and yknow what that's ok bc she's traumatized too, she grow up with proper love and after her mom left she tried to get her dad to love her by helping with his war, whether she understood it or not

she just wanted validation and to be appreciated by someone and she learned that fear is the easiest way to do that (even if it's not 100% genuine)

she avoided people and got close with animals and spirits who she liked and helped and they did the same for her (not like snow white but also ya kinda like snow white)

for the most part she had absolutely no idea what was happening in the world, just isolated herself and tried to heal

she never grew too attached tho and moved on before that could happen bc she didn't want to feel the way she did when mai and ty lee left

“I've done my damage on the world they don’t need me anymore”

Faces

She's in her 20’s now and runs into koh the face stealer. She's very cocky and he gets pissed and takes her face

Right before meeting him: she’s content now. Not happy, not sad. She’s actually fine and okay for the first time.

so she decided to find the mother of faces to get her face back, but took her time getting there bc no face wasn't a really big issue for her and also she had nothing else to do

Mai

First time seeing mai since the Incident

Azula felt something she hadn’t known in a long time. Anger. Blood boiling rage. (ayo a complete sentence lets go)

She refused to think about mai and ty lee before that, it hurt too much.

mother pt 1

Getting to the mother of faces (from the comics) and getting her face back

The spirits helped her find the right forest

She was in her 30s by the time she got there

when she got there and got her face back she learned about her mom and decided to try and find her (Azula is in a better headspace now and wants to at least see her mom)

mother pt 2

Seeing her mom

she found her mom and talked to her (almost same thing as The Promise but she did it on her own, zuko wasn't involved) and her mom explained everything and said how sorry she is and offered azula to stay with her for a bit (yes i am an ursa apologist)

it hit hard bc it was clear she was genuine and no one had ever really loved azula before and the one person she thought could never love her was here sobbing and saying how sorry she is that she didnt love azula enough

that helped a lot and she went back to the town every once in a while to visit but for the most part she still hid in different forests (azula is very much still traumatized and Represses)

She’s not as upset at her mom but still very hurt and doesn’t understand why her mother left or never showed that she loved her

ty lee

First time seeing ty lee (tyzula tease), they are in their late 40s

ty lee doesnt see azula though

azula is Uncomfortable with how she still feels (love?) about ty lee

swamp

in her 50s, azula ended up in the same swamp as toph but a few years before toph moved there

Final paragraph is toph seeing (with the vines) someone familiar enter

“Wonder if we’ll run into each other”

cliffhanger

toph

running into toph and how their “friendship” unfolds

they didn't run into each other for a few years after tho, it's a huge ass swamp

toph just laughed and didn't really give a shit "lmao i remember u"

azula tried to avoid toph but it didn't work very well, eventually they started acknowledging each other and when they ran into each other every few months they just vibed for a bit

*no toph x azula that's not what this is i just think they could be friends. barely that, they could just tolerate each other*

Toph helped Azula in the same way she helped korra. anytime they ran into each other toph made it clear that she did not give half a shit and it helped azula give less of a shit and get out of her head

Neither one cared much about the other and they both knew that. there no commitment or deep feelings just conversations on the off chance they see each other and feel like talking

azula and toph never talked about the war or anything, they both knew an explanation or apology wouldn't change anything

toph talked about su and lin a lot, she was really proud of them (i had to)

Dying

azula dying (in her 60s/early 70s)

she stayed in that swamp the longest bc she was tired of running and wanted to "settle down"

she died there a few years before tlok started

She wasn’t scared, she knew she’d die soon and it was her time. She had collected enough memories and left different marks (physical and emotional) on people and places. And it was just her time.

Took her last breathe with a new sense of pride

eulogy (epilogue)

Toph’s eulogy when she finds azula’s body

not so much of a eulogy as "o shit it was kinda nice talking to u, sucks that youre dead um"

remembering (epilogue)

Someone finally asking about azula and toph telling them what happened

toph never told anyone about her partially bc she just did not care enough and partiall bc she knew azula was hiding and didnt wanna ruin that, even after she died

but if anyone asked toph told them, like when bolin asked who lin's dad was and she told him without batting an eye, confusing the fuck out of whoever heard it

[the-sunshine-dims]

birds for birthdays

okay so its logan’s birthday still for me so have this birthday fic! 

words: 1807

ao3 link

Summary: Patton, roman, Virgil, and Janus, have a plan for Logan's birthday, and their plan, Logan doesn't even consider, instead thinking they just forgot his birthday, and Remus, whos not included in the plan gives Logan a bird.

contents and warnings: miscommunications, hurt Logan, slight hurt/comfort, possible pre-intrulogical, birds, repressing emotions, being overwhelmed,

if i missed anything again please tell me its late so i wouldnt be surprised if i missed something

____

Okay so patton and the others had a plan, and they were excited it was coming out how they wanted it to so far, 

distract Logan away from the commons and kitchen

Get logans gifts ready

Make sure it’s a total surprise for Logan

Of course they sadly had to exclude remus because it wasn’t an overreaction when they say he would immediately tell logan, he wouldn’t really mean to, but anything he thought about he would blurt out so sadly they had to hide it from remus too, though when Logan came down to be surprised he wasn’t gonna be excluded from that, he couldn't really ruin a surprise while the surprise is being revealed.

Patton smiled proudly at the three sides who had been getting ready in the living room, he was ecstatic he had even gotten Janus to help out.

___

Logan sighed as he tried to work, he knew technically they didn’t have birthdays, but it never stopped Patton from trying to celebrate perceived birthdays and, as he had told everyone before, this was one of the perceived birthdays, logan's first appearance on vine, and while he knew stuff was honestly kind of stressing because thomas got a new boyfriend and everyone was still healing from POF,

But.. he noticed quickly that he was looking forward to the birthday, as loud as it was going to be, but then as The day progressed no one even came to his room to even tell him happy birthday.

-which was fine. But still, it hurt, he was sure this was the date Patton made a celebration last year.. but no one seemed to even notice or care.

And as he tried to focus on literally anything productive and failed he realized with dimming hope that they had forgotten.. he couldn’t blame them, of course he couldn’t, he understand how hectic everything’s been and he wasn’t as selfish as to be mad, they had more important stuff to worry about then his ‘birthday’, afterall technically while they did sometimes have days they celebrated as such they weren't born and there was no way to tell when they formed so he didn't have a true birthday.

And After all, Logan didn’t have feelings so they probably assumed he wouldn’t mind if they didn’t forget and just didn’t want to acknowledge it.

He sighed again, louder, and slammed his head against the arms that were resting on his desk, this really shouldn’t bother him this much, it was fine.

He took a moment and just gave up on working, surely they wouldn’t mind if he just.. took a small break, just a short one, to rest up and just.. get his emotions in check before he had to go out of his room to get the papers he forgot on the counter, he groaned, why had he forgotten them on the counter? That was a dumb thing to do.

He took another moment and just decided that he can take a break day, the others really couldn’t blame him for needing one since they had taken a couple after the recent video, so he just decided to hell with it and after loosening his already looser than normal tie he just stood up and went over to rest on his bed, maybe he could read a book? He had recently gotten a promising looking book, so maybe that would be a good thing to do with his time.

He didn’t know why he still seemed to be.. disappointed? Was that the emotion? After a second he decided he didn’t care, but he was still confused, why would he be affected? It was fine.

He groaned before startling as he heard a loud repetitive banging on his door, and after a moment he quickly got up and fixed his hair and tie before going to the door and opening it slightly, revealing a grinning remus with hands behind his back, which was slightly worrying knowing remus, and also confusing because if he had both his hands behind his back how did he knock- but, of course Logan wasn’t gonna be rude and instead just offered a small polite smile before asking “do you need anything?” 

Remus frowned at that, “no I don’t need anything- but! I wanted to congratulate the birthday boy~” he told him, and while there was definitely some underlying crude massage Logan didn't get he could tell Remus was trying hard to make sure it stayed underlying and wasn't blatant so he wouldn’t end up making Logan uncomfortable.

Which Logan did appreciate, he.. really didn’t think he would be able to handle a lot of crude stuff right now, which he was kinda disappointed in himself for since that was a lot of the stuff remus spouted unless remus worked 100% to make sure he didnt end up accidentally saying something like that , but regardless, he was happy at least someone knew it was his side appointed birthday, he knew it didn’t matter but still, it made him feel better and as Remus quickly brought the sloppily wrapped present from behind his back his heart dropped as a thought entered his head.

Was remus the only one who remembered?

Remus and Logan weren’t that close, they were all still getting used to each other, so the idea that Remus, who wasn’t close to Logan, was the only one who remembered his ‘birthday’ was saddening, the people who were supposed to be his friends.. they forgot, they didn’t care.

He schooled his expression and made sure remus couldn’t tell the thoughts going through his head, so he just allowed himself to smile as Remus loudly encouraged him to open up the gift, and after a moment or two he began to, he was happy if at least one person cared enough- he heard a small chirp from the box and he froze and turned to remus “..did you give me a bird?” 

Remus grinned minically and motioned for him to keep opening it, which he did and he found an adolescent crow or raven, he couldn’t tell yet, but it was definitely a bird, it was surprising it looked pretty normal- he put his finger near it and it’s face opened up like a demogorgon, okay that made since, not normal, but he smiled as he gingerly picked the thing up, it looked like it was old enough to be away from the parents which was good, after a moment he looked to remus “thank you remus.”

Remus seemed happy as he came to the conclusion that Logan indeed in fact like the gifted bird, “no problem dork!” He said happily before continuing “also if you need anything for the bird just tell me,” 

Logan nodded and after deciding screw it he just opened the door up more and went “would you wanna hang out with me and the bird for a bit?” 

Remus perked up and nodded eagerly, and Logan smiled softly before heading fully into his room and setting the box down, the chick along with it, after a second of checking Over his shoulder to make remus came in he closed the door and gathered some books from his shelf about birds, specifically ravens and crows and just birds of the like before sitting down on the floor leaning his back against his bed.

Remus happily chatted as he sat down on the bed, above his shoulder, occasionally asking Logan questions that didn’t relate at all to the topic at hand as Logan researched what the raven or crow would need, especially at this young stage.

It was maybe an hour or so later, Logan has accepted that the others had just not cared enough to remember and while it.. hurt.. he just decided it wasn’t worth it to be upset about it, after all he now had a bird to take care of and possibly a new friend, so everything was fine.

Then he heard Patton calling for him saying that someone got hurt and they needed his help and just hearing that they needed his help and someone might be hurt and on reflex he got up, quickly pulling Remus up as well before practically running down stairs because what if they were really hurt.

And then suddenly as he practically flung himself down the stairs with remus following he heard a loud “surprise!” From a bunch of voices and then there was confetti everywhere and he just froze, slowly processing everything and slowly becoming overwhelmed from the fact they hadn’t forgotten and he was wrong and also the loud sudden sounds were adding to him becoming overwhelmed.

And after a full moment of silence he realized he should respond so he just went “oh-“ and then he noticed that there were tears falling down his cheeks and he just saw everyone begin to panic and even Remus seemed extremely confused and concerned and after a moment logan just quietly goes “they didn’t forget..” to himself.

Which they seemed to of heard because he hears patton make a heartbroken noise and remus, deciding that he’s going to try and help his new friend out, just kinda goes in front of him to be in between him and the others and kind of hesitantly opens his arms, which, Logan happily collapsed into, much to remus’s surprised, no matter who it was logan wanted the support and after another silence the others approached and Logan just kind of hid away.

Causing even Janus to look sympathetic before Patton kinda just went “you.. thought we forgot?” Sadly and when Logan nodded Patton made another hurt noise “oh lo, I’m so sorry I should’ve.. I should’ve realized that not addressing it made it seem like we forgot, I’m so sorry.” Patton said genuinely.

Logan just went “it’s fine” quietly and Patton shook his head.

“No, it’s not fine, we should’ve actually made sure not to make you think we forgot, we should've made sure that you knew we care enough to remember, i should’ve.” he paused before deciding that while its good to admit mistakes it wouldn't make the birthday any better so after a second he continued “so what about this, let’s watch a movie, whichever movie you want, and it’ll be quieter and we can give you our gifts, hows that sound?” Patton asked, his tone a tad hopeful.

Logan nodded, pulling himself away from remus’s hug, though still holding on slightly to remus, having decided this was his emotional support side now, and after a second everyone walked logan to the couch where he picked out a movie and and after a bit turned off the lights for the person to come in with the cake.

And honestly now he kind of understood why he was so sad when he thought they forgot.

[kilibaggins]

Hey!!!! My prompt is a murphamy headcannon or fic with non-binary Murphy. Thank you!

Okay I wrote SO MUCH and it all DELETED ITSELF when I was writing it, so I'm sorry if this isn't that good.

Also, I apologize this is more just Non-binary Murphy in general, and less Murphamy... There's obviously Murphamy.. its just not mentioned much because idk how to incorporate it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They had no idea what they were until one day someone mentioned "Non-Binary" and they were like "Oh Shit."

After that they never told anyone but they had picked out a name they'd rather be called and started calling themselves it in their head, the name being JM.

Finn was the first to hear about it.

It was during that time before Tondc where they were both alone.

"Alright, Man this is what we're going to do"

"Can you STOP Calling me that?"

JM didn't MEAN to snap it just kind of happened.

Finn is like surprised but stops calling them that immediately.

"Uh.. what's wrong, Murphy?"

"I just... I'm Non-Binary and id rather you not call me 'man'"

It Didn't end up being a big deal since like a half an hour later Finn killed 18 people.

They hid it from everyone else in Arkadia after Finn died.

JM tried to ignore the pain being called He and Him caused them.

The first person to know after that was Abby.

Abby had noticed they were flinching

"Hey, John, is Something wrong? I've seen you flinch every time someone talks about you."

"it's just... I'm non-binary and I dont like it when people call me he/him."

Abby is absolutely so supportive

Abby 100% uses 'JM' to start referring to them.

But only in private since JM isn't ready to come out yet.

JM soon went to Abby about anything they needed.

So its no surprise when they come to her for some advice on them liking Bellamy.

Abby tells JM that they should tell Bellamy before they get together.

And they were gonna tell him, they were!

But it just... Happened so fast.

and it was okay for a time!

Until one night Bellamy calls them "Baby Boy" and they start crying.

JM didn't mean to start crying.

It just happened

And Bellamy was terrified because he didnt know what he did wrong.

That's when JM realizes they can't hide it anymore.

They explain being non-binary to Bellamy, and Bellamy tries his best to understand.

Bellamy is so supportive.

He encourages JM to come out, but only if they want to.

So, JM comes out

And there's a few people who aren't the most supportive

But most are

Bellamy is the one who corrects everyone 24/7

If someone purposely Misgenders JM then Bellamy is absolutely PISSED.

Bellamy is the only one who calls them 'J' and he'll Sometimes even call them 'JJ'.

When it's JM's Dysphoric days Bellamy will lay with them and compliment them in ways that aren't gendered. (Unless JM wants to be gendered in some ways since Non-binary people can exist in many ways other than 'Genderless')

JM will grow out their hair to about shoulder length

They'll also ask Clarke to teach them how to dye their hair

Bellamy will help brush and Cut JM's hair.

JM finds a way to 'paint' their nails. Which Bellamy helps with Sometimes.

I'm sorry idk what else to add lol.

I hope this was okay!

[mothmansfriend]

when i’m sad oh god i’m sad pt. 1

link to pt. 2

follows a very similar timeline to @tearxofink‘s fic Rules for a Functioning Alcoholic but will prob have differences (such as no established relationships) and takes place in @illogicallyinclined‘s hockey au after the mention of Remus possibly having undiagnosed bipolar disorder

update: i think its important to acknowledge roughly where this takes place in the big timeline bc D doesn’t really drink past freshman yr in this AU because of self preservation and trauma, alcoholism was more an issue before then in high school (when remus and d were Rowdy Boys) but the stress of Logan’s concussion lead to some heavy drinking that was caught quickly by Virgil because Remus Cannot Keep Secrets. 

summary: Remus has undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder and is dealing with a severe depressive episode in the aftermath of realizing that binge drinking with D wasn’t just his own search to Feel Something, but was also D’s relapse into alcoholism. Remus comes to the realization of lost time during manic episodes and refuses help.

tw: graphic descriptions of a depressive episode, self harm (burning),  suicidal thoughts, and suicidal intent (but not attempt). unhealthy coping mechanisms, alcohol abuse, mentioned alcoholism, undiagnosed mental illness, miscommunications on shared trauma, ask to tag if i missed any.

--

Remus doesn’t think he’s ever felt happy in his life. 

But that can’t be true. He’s sure it wasn't even two months ago he swore he’d never felt sad before in his life and he knows that one wasn’t true either.

Though, right now the younger Prince twin couldn’t even be certain he feels sad right now. He can identify some feelings, like dizziness (he stumbles through the lobby doors, it’s too bright out its giving him a headache that better not be a hangover), guilt (“Do you even think about anyone but yourself?” No, Virgil, you know Remus better than that. “You know how hard getting sober was the first time, D suddenly taking you out to the bar during the week didn’t raise any flags?” It didn’t, Remus is too self absorbed), and most importantly something he can’t quite label that came in through his lungs smoother than the cheap cigarettes he hates (but uses as an excuse to turn himself into a human ashtray) and settled deep inside him just under a month ago (weeks before D suggested goiung to the club on w Tuesday evening for the first time in almost a year) and it's getting heavier and heavier every day. Possibly, relief was felt when he was greeted by a totally empty apartment instead of a holier-than-thou brother trying to enforce ‘responsibility’ and his first real friend whom he recently enabled in a relapse. 

The normally obnoxious and loud man silently rides the elevator to their floor, tripping over his own feet as he exits not even offering a head bop to the cheesy elevator music. He enters the apartment and slams the door harder than necessary but can’t bring himself to feel bad. There's no elegance or emotion to closing his door, landing on his bed full clothed after barely kicking off his shoes and grabbing the controller to turn on Netflix and select the first Saw movie.

--

It’s halfway through the second movie when he hears someone return home and make what is probably lunch before leaving again. He takes a moment to wonder if his professors or classmates notice his absence or if they’re just thankful for it. He’s sober and he feels the burns on his ankles and arms throb in time with his black eye. God he wishes he wasn’t, but pissed off his last more-than-a-little-sketchy friend and he doesn’t have the energy to find the stash he knows D hid in the apartment somewhere.

--

Just as Saw II ends and the third begins, he opens his window and lights up a cigarette with a lighter he knows he stole from someone. The smoke coats his throat and the terrible burning taste of nicotine sticks to the roof of his mouth, the headrush barely makes it worth it. Remus considers maybe he needs something stronger, Virgil seems like the type to secretly smoke weed. Wandering minds think about the movie he just watched and the classic needle pit, he certainly isn’t afraid of needles. He slams his head into the glass of his window and takes another drag. The reality of that thought would be a bigger issue than many things he’s done, it’s not often that he rejects things his brain throws at him. He stares out the window and a group of students pass and he sees the exact moment they smell his shitty cigarettes as they look around and glare when they see him. He realizes how often people look at him like that and it feels like the first time that it bothers him. He puts the cigarette out in his lower calf and holds it there until the darkened skin and burning pain is all he can think about

--

The fifth movie ends marking around 10 hours of blankly staring at the screen. He’s only wearing boxers and the ratty t-shirt he’s been wearing for days. Both roommates are home. The group chat is going off Remus briefly saw a few messages, a reminder about practice Thursday morning, Patton looking for baking suggestions, Virgil asked if anyone heard from Remus because they didn’t finish their discussion.

Remus mutes the chat for the first time and when his phone falls off the bed, doesn't bother reaching for it.

--

The eighth movie ends. It’s been darkout for awhile, though he isn’t sure quite how long. Remus really feels as if his body has melted and merged with the bed. He hopes he’s dying. He eats stale chips he had hidden in his nightstand and can’t even get out of bed to smoke half a cigarette and put it out on his exposed thigh.

He falls asleep after silencing his brain as best as he can right now.

--

The next time he wakes up the sun is either setting or rising. He doesn’t really care. The hockey player doesn’t really know if he's stayed still this long, almost ever. If he thinks about it though he is pretty sure he did this last spring. He’s also pretty sure no one noticed last time either. Sleeping seemed to have helped a little and he figured he could probably make a trip to the bathroom and maybe the kitchen if he’s lucky, he noticed that pizza box under his bed is smelling pretty terrible. It’s been four days since he was home spoke to anyone, and no one has checked in on him. He hasn’t left his room since his return, the gatorade bottle of piss is evidence of such. And miraculously, he actually manages to throw out the pizza, steal a ziplock bag full of Roman’s cereal, and use the bathroom. While washing his hands he stares at the shower and decides it’s waited four days, it can wait one more. Just before heading back to his room, Remus swipes the mickey of vodka he saw behind the flour. 

He watched the sun rise through his half open blinds and doesn’t remember the last time he saw the sun rise. Remus had yet to touch the vodka, mostly because it hit the floor hours ago and he’s pretty sure he can deal for a few more hours. Today marks day five in a world without Remus Prince opening his fucking mouth to say some dumb shit that probably hurt someone and he didnt even notice. Remus can’t bring himself to care. He can’t stop thinking about how no one has asked about him since. He read the groupchat, Remus knows he’s a nosey bitch, no one has asked about him since a halfhearted response from Roman implying he hadn’t been gone long enough to worry. This sparks a kind of exhausted anger and Remus feels no amount of guilt for stealing his brothers vodka. The smoke weighing him down from inside lulls him back into the bone deep fatigue with no release.

--

It’s night again, likely early in the morning. Remus’s head is a deep echoing cave of different ways he could die if he just got out of bed. He’s been thinking about the hunting knife he swiped at someone’s house party months ago, for a few hours maybe. He’s had many thoughts like this before, about how fragile human skin is, about how fun it could be to slice open, how warm his own blood would be as it flowed out and he could reach in and feel his final breath. 

God, does he want that. His hand reaches out and grabs his chest pulling on any skin he can grip onto as tight as he could. He’s never been good at anything, he knows he has never been a good person, he can’t stop circling around what Roman could possibly mean that Remus hasn’t been gone for long enough to worry when he’s so sure he’s never been gone more than three days. His phone though, if he goes back far enough in his phone, he thinks Roman is right. Google Maps places him in places he doesn’t recognize in cities he’s never been to. His chest seizing up in a way he’s only seen on others. 

He’s always been able to hold onto even if his parents didn’t love him, even if no one ever liked him or missed him, that Remus Prince was never fake, he never played nice, he never pretended to be someone he wasn’t he never hid his feelings about anything. If anyone asked him, he’d tell them and it’s their fault if it hurt their feelings. But, how can that be true now? Who is he on these days he doesn’t remember. 

Forgetting where he was or getting distracted midway through a task or conversation were always normal for him, the ADHD if he had to guess; but the realization it wasn’t minutes or even hours that he forgot upsets him in a way he didn’t think he could recognize. Remus thinks that this might be the closest he would ever get to understanding how so many people fear him. and he does not like it at all.

The knife is so close. He lights a cigarette. No one else is awake yet. No one has realized he’s even at home. How long would it take to find him? Days? Weeks? How long is he usually gone? Would the smell be what finally pulled someone into to check on him? He puts the cigarette out on his leg. He knows the knife is in the bottom drawer of his desk under old notebooks and packs of pens dumped loosely inside. It’s less than five feet away. He wants it.

He sits up, swings his legs numbly off the side of the bed and stands up. It feels like the hardest thing he’s ever had to do. In a mere three steps forward he sits down on the ground behind his desk chair to wretch open the drawer and sees just how messy it is. His phone goes off and he pulls it by the wire to check, a reminder for practice at 6am. He shoots Coach an apology text for missing practice for the first time in his hockey career and throws his phone back towards the bed. His body feels so heavy as he shoves a hand roughly into the drawer to search for the knife, frustration when he can’t immediately find it leads to him slamming his head into the wooden desk leg before letting it fall onto the chair cushion as his hand wiggles around for a few moments, each second filling him with aimless anger. The drawer slams shut and he flops onto the floor. 

He can’t even find the energy to kill himself. Pathetic. He glares at the desk from his place on the cool floor until the fatigue brings him back to sleep. 

[willofhounds]

Storm that shakes the pine ch1

A/N yes I know I have a lot of fics to finish but I couldn't help myself. If you dont like m/m go elsewhere. If you dont like soulmates go away. For the rest of you enjoy the story.

Once the reincarnation happens they will be called by their new names. Not by their old.

:thoughts:

"Speaking"

Ozpin's POV

Oscar's body was barely holding itself together. Around them lay their comrades and Salem who was finally dead. Three years in the new reincarnation and they had finally done it.

A tinge of guilt and sadness went through him. This was his fault. If he never returned to the world he this wouldn't have happened. Salem would have stayed a lone witch in the forest.

As his green brown eyes swept over the field he saw Ruby Rose. His brave silver eyed warrior had been the one to defeat Salem.

With the help of Maria Calavera she mastered the powers of her eyes. In the end Jinn had been right. Ozpin and Oscar fighting together in harmony were unable to kill Salem. Their shared body sustained mortal injuries. It was a testament to their sheer willpower that they stayed standing.

All of his friends and colleagues lay dying now. Just when they had saved the world from Salem they weren't going to see it rebuild itself.

Oscar he could tell was tired of war. The war had burdened them all. Oscar being as young as he was got hit the hardest. He was just a boy who was pulled from everything he knew into a war he never wanted to fight.

Ozpin guided Oscar. Trained him mentally and physically. There was only so much one could prepare. Watching ones friends die wasn't something he could prepare Oscar for.

:Oz... it's not your fault. We did all we could was fight our hardest. We won...: came Oscar's tired voice.

Ozpin answered as his own exhaustion coming out, :I only wish I could have done more. We've lost our friends.:

:Oz...:

There wasn't a chance to respond to Oscar. The four relics began to shine their power enveloped them. All of his aches and pains receded.

Ozpin blinked. The world around them whited out. A familiar setting was before him. A golden dragon floated above him.

It took Ozpin several seconds to realize he looked like Ozpin before he was Oscar. Looking around he saw Oscsr. For the first time in thousands of years he was alone in his head.

Ruby and the others also stood around the dragon. As the God of Light he would be able to bring their souls to him. Just as he had done with Ozma.

Ruby asked carefully, "Are you the God of Light? Why are we here?"

The God rumbled as it looked at each of them, "Each of you have played a pivotal role in bringing down Salem. You have overcome your shortcomings and put aside your differences. Some of you even learned from mistakes of the past to get where you are now."

Ozpin flinched. That last part was meant for him. It was his actions that led Salem here.

God of Light continued, "Each of you have earned the right to either go on to the after life. Or to go onto another world where you will be reborn. Things will be different in this world than what you know. No creatures of Grim as you call them. Magic is born into some souls but not others. As a gift those that choose to go to this world will be given magic."

Oscar questioned softly, "What about me? My soul is intertwined is intertwined with Ozpin's."

"That is up to you. Should you both go on to the new world you will not be the same person."

Relief flooded them both. The last thing they wanted was to forever be connected to each other again. Ozpin knew what a burden it was. He didnt want to be such a burden upon the boy again. Let him live his own life without the threats of war and death.

This was a second chance for him to do good. Good without having causing the evil.

Ozpin declared, "I will go on to this new world."

"As will I," came from Qrow.

"You're not getting rid of me that easy, Ozpin," from James.

"I want to see this new world," Ruby.

The God of Light rumbled once more, "Despite you all leaving this world at the same time; not all of you will not enter the next at the same time. Ages and lives will vary but you will all find your own path. Never forget the bonds you have forged. They will serve you well.

White lights surrounded them accepting their choices. Yang was the next to speak, "I'm sorry Ruby but I will not be going with you. I'm tired of the war and fighting. All I want is peace."

They didnt get to hear what anyone else said. The God of Light sent them on.

In the end Ozpin was reborn as Newton Fido Artemis Scammander. He was the second son of the Scammander family.

The Scammander family was a Dark family. His magic was naturally dark as it came from blood first then what was practiced second. Even if Newt was to practice light magic his magic would never be any lighter than dark neutral.

His parents were not what he had grown to expect of the dark. They were gentle with him. There wasn't an ounce of hatred in their eyes.

Newt's biggest struggle though was accepting help. It had been thousands of years since he was so vulnerable. In his previous reincarnations they were all at least 12 or older. They were able to take care of themselves.

Along with accepting his parents help he had a brother five years older than himself. Theseus Scammander was an intelligent boy if his parents were to be believed. They treated him like he was a genius.

When they first came face to f eyes were familiar. Three years of seeing that when he looked in the mirror made them hard to forget.

They were Oscar's eyes. His own eyes were green with a hint of an amber swirl. Both of them groaned internally. The God of Light had a sick sense of humor.

When Theseus turned seven he did something unexpected. Newt was watching from one of the chairs as he unlocked his aura.

Theseus's aura was a dark green. No longer the light green that they had grown used to. The look on his brother's face was comical. It was the final proof that their souls were no longer fully connected. That their destinies intertwined but not overlapping.

Not two months after that Theseus got his soulmate mark. It was that of a raven taking flight. His brother was excited and so were their parents.

Powerful families had the crest of the raven. His parents offered to help Theseus with the search but his brother only shook his head. He would find his soulmate on his own.

The years passed until Newt was five. One day he was out in the gardens and a small green twig like creature moved down the tree he was laying against. From the children books he was allowed to read he knew it was a bowtruckle.

Normally a shy creature it came to rest on his shoulder. With a fascination that he had not felt in a long he began to play with the bowtruckle. Through trial and error he found out that they had their own language. It was through clicks.

With its helps he was able to meet the other bowtruckles in tree. Unlike the one on his shoulder they were more suspicious of him. Earning their trust took weeks but eventually they accepted him.

On Theseus's eleventh birthday they went to Diagon Alley. He got his Hogwarts letter. As Newt would find out every magical child in Britain got this letter. One day Newt would too.

It was in one of the lesser shops that Newt found his cane. It seemed that even in a new world he would never escape the past fully. At first his parents didnt want to buy it since it was Theseus's birthday.

At Theseus's insistence however they got it. As with all his previous lives it felt right in his hands; though to small to wield it properly. Theseus watched over him as he began to practice movements that were second nature once.

By the time he was seven Theseus was a second year in Hogwarts. His own soulmate mark had appeared. It was a circle in a triangle with a line through the middle. The symbol he recognized through his books. It was that of the Deathly Hallows.

Who his soulmate was he didn't know. What he did know was that they would be searching for the Hallows. Most believed it was just a fairy tale. Newt knew that every had some truth to it. Wherever the Hallows were he would avoid them. He had no interest in soulmates.

So he hid his mark with long sleeved shirts or a bracelet. If no one saw it then there was a lesser chance that he would find whoever his soulmate was.

He had learned that dark, light, and neutral magic weren't evil or good. It wasn't like Remnant were dark magic was evil. A lot of it depended on the wizard's intentions.

This made accepting his heritage easier. Having seen what the darkness had done to Salem he at first was wary of it. Now he knew as long as his intentions were true then he would not be consumed by the dark. That was what would push him forward.

The main event in his seventh year of life was unlocking his aura. He remembered the power and sense of duty it gave him every time he had unlocked it. The oath every huntsman had made. This would be his final time making it.

Inside the library away from prying eyes he said, "For it is in passing that we achieve immortality. Through this, we become a paragon of virtue and glory to rise above all, infinite in distance and unbound by death," his heart pounded in his chest. Something in him gave away at the words and a new feeling of duty filled him, "I release your soul, and by my shoulder protect thee."

A familiar light green light erupted from his chest. It flashed over his body exhausting his energy. His energy was the same level of a seven year old so he couldn't hold it for long.

This encouraged Newt to train every day. On the holidays when Theseus came back he was surprised when his brother offered to train with him. Theseus had decided to be an auror the police of the magical world. He wanted to train both his body and magic for whatever was to come. Newt obliged.

Spars were immensely difficult for the younger Scammander. He was smaller and lighter than his brother. His reflexes slower than he would have liked. Giving up wasnt in him and he pushed through working the old memories into muscle memory. His aura growing stronger with each passing day.

Along with reading and retraining his magic there was little time for idleness. What little time he did find was spent with the creatures. The creatures watched him as he worked through his training. Slowly but surely warming up to him.

From Hippogryffs to bowtruckles all creatures of his home accepted him. In turn he accepted them. They were beings to be cherished.

Finally his eleventh birthday came and he like his brother. Theseus was entering his sixth year and still had not found his soulmate. Not unusual by any means but it discouraged him.

Newt knew that Theseus would find the one meant for him. As long as they lived he would search. Newt would look for the mark that matched it.

September 1st rolled around and Newt felt excitement. He was curious to see what was learned in the schools here.

[cloudywithachanceofwatering]

Plance au where it hurt

I warned you . I really warned you .

Also , the ending is rushed . Sorry , my patience is low . I truly am a failure .

Edit : maybe it wont hurt so bad

Plaance god tier au where pidge and lance hooked up in the club and pidge got preggers . Unfortunately , the child died under mysterious circumstances during the third trimester . Lance had been with her the whole time , so he tried his best to comfort her even when she pushed him away .

The next year , lance left to pursue his career in the garrison in hopes to forget his pain . Pidge had left to recooperate , unsucessfully . She ended up avoiding meds and fell into anxiety and depression . They avoided each others interactions because they felt like they were the reason the child died .

The following year , lance and pidge had met in the same club again . This time , they were drunk enough to hook up again for real sad sex . A lot of tears and love , but in the end it was a one night stand . The next morning , lance left the motel without telling her . He didnt want to hurt her any more than he already did .

After realizing she was pregnant after a month , pidge hit the road with little to nothing . All she had was ten thousand dollars from stashing money for her baby , most of which her parents and brother had given. Pidge decided to get a cheap van from the scrapyard , got a liscence for the car , ditched everything she had inside and with her little driving skills , went off to somewhere she didnt know . All she really had was a driving liscence to prove her identity . She hid it away .

In the end , she only had a five thousand left . Yes , this was a time where everything wasnt real . This is a fic . Do not take things too seriously .

She literally disappeared overnight - nobody really knew where she went . All they had was a bought cheap van to go off on . How far couldve she went , people asked . Shes just a child , everyone said , unable to find her within a twenty mile radius the next day .

Pidge had driven for days , trying to get to the rural countryside as fast as possible . She found a little village after being lost for hours on end on a obscure forest path - and decided she was going to stay .

The villagers immediately noticed her van . Soon , a crowd formed and when she stepped out of the van , they crowded around her like scavengers looking for prey . They spoke in french , oddly enough - a mix of it . Italian , french , spanish was what she heard all at once .

A red hair girl put up her fist , silencing the villagers . " Hello , " she spoke in french . " Can i have a house ? " " No , " the red haired girl said . " The only house left are in the fields . It is dilapitated . " " Then can i have it ? " The villagers thought about it , buzzing even louder for a while . " Yes . We can help you fix it , " pidge heard from a few people at the front . It seemed to be agreed .

The villagers buzzed around for a bit , discussing their next move . Eventually , they asked a old lady to take her in while they went to look for items to fix up the house with . The red haired girl , with a thick french accent , told her in english : " We will help you . Come with her , she will feed you . "

And oddly enough , it felt like home . Their hospitality - it mustve come from a lack of visitors and her odd way of entering , their curiousity - but pidge was too tired and hungry to be cautious . It was the best human interaction she had for days . The red haired girl proceeded to bring out her items for two guys to take int othe home of the old woman .

The old woman , she was called " old rosa , " had no name . So she took in the name old rosa . She could speak english fluently , although she tripped over her words a bit . " My dear , come and eat , the villagers will help bring in your items . I suppose theyll make your van a bit more hospitable for you . " " Where are you from ? You speak english quite well , " pidge had asked . " Britain , my dear . Although i dont know where . But i do have a postcard with a picture - me and my parents . Everyone says it is a place in Britain , the english folks did . It was a baby me . But now , i cannot remember for the life of me where i am from , my name , my everything . The villagers , they took me in . Incredibly kind of them , " old rosa told pidge fondly .

" Why have you come ? " she had asked pidge . " Because i am pregnant , and to run away , because my relatives will speak to me unkindly if they knew , and i did not want to disappoint my parents and everyone around me again , " pidge sighed . She crossed her arms , unsure if she made a good decision or not telling her . Old rosa simply smiled , wrinkles becoming even more prominent . " I have a child myself - she has a baby boy . She can help you , if you want . The doctor is her husband . They can help you , but they might get a bit too excited about a new baby , " old rosa laughed . Pidge giggled , despairingly remembering what lance said about her giggles and laughs . How cute and bell-tinkly they were .

Oh , how she wished he was here to help her , but only the crevices of her mind said . She had long pushed him away , for the sake of her sanity . Her eyes welled up a bit nonetheless , and she gently thumbed over her stomach . That day , she had woke up alone and cold - perhaos it was for the best . At least you didnt pay for the motel room , a tiny thought sparked . It didnt help much , but a shimmer of hope tugged at her heart . Maybe she could pull through , with or without lance .

Old rosa present a bowl of rice and two poached eggs inside . " I really couldnt do much - i just wanted to make something quick for you my dear . Besides , the resources man hasnt arrived yet . On sunday he will , and on sunday we can go visit him for food . Yes , we are self-sufficient , but the doctor needs items . The resources man is very kind . He gives us what we need for free . I think the government set aside money for us - very kind of them . "

Pidge quickly came to realize her chatter as she ate . She smiled , breaking the poached egg and deciding to mix it with her rice . Old rosa just kept smiling , talking on and on about everything . It felt so nice - like her brother and mother fussing over every little thing that happened to pidge every day .

Another flicker of sadness - how lonely she was . If only she had her family , her lance - no , not her lance . He was just a little crush . That is all . But homesickness struck - how far away was she from her family ? It was selfish of her to leave .

The red haired girl came back in . She spoke in their mixed language - " The van , we tried to make it more homely , rearranged items but kept in sight . You do not have much , so we gave you some blankets and a mattress and pillows and clothes . "

Yes , this wasnt home , but pidge could deal with it .

As the year went by , pidge quickly upholstered her van-home into a much homier place . She made a few good friends . Connor , the fabrics person , he was incredibly kind and sweet , came over often to check on her and drown her in soft wools and cashmeres of all colours . He felt oddly motherlike , perhaps because of his feminine preferances . Old rosa became increasingly motherlike too , taking more and more care of her . The red haired girl , osara , she made sure pidge had priority to make sire the baby would be safe , along with her .

Old rosas daughter , maybellina [ yes , maybelline the makeup brand however you spelled it played a part in this ] , was very kind and loving , like her mother . Her husband , tom , made sure she had checkups every now and then , sometimes popping over randomly to check on her .

Sometimes she would visit connor - he had a huge old castle as a house , his family hadi t for generations . Although he was lonely as the only one , it was fine by him . They were walking up a whole lot of stairs to his sewing and looming room thing , when he had abruptly asked : " Pidge , i was wondering , do you know someone called katie holt ? You come from somewhere else , right ? I have told you before , i study at the garrison . Someone called katie holt , she had disappeared . I heard her parents , her brother and his boyfriend , they have been searching endlessly . They do not know where to find her anymore , " connor said . Oops , yikers ! Haha , no good . Thats all pidges mind provided before shutting off .

So she just stared at him blankly , before connor being the huge softie he is , started blushing and buried his face into her hair , murmuring something along the lines of " im too soft for this . "

And that , my friends , is how the start of something more than a friendship begin . Perhaps pidges mind shutting off helped .

_______________________________________

Lance had firstly , freaked out after pidge went missing and secondly , spent his weekends trying to find clues of her anywhere . So when connor , the nice guy [ actually nice ] asked him what he was doing in the middle of class , he decided to just spill the beans for the sake of his sanity and his already sad heart . " She used to go by the name of pidge . Pidge gunderson . Shes the fu-ing cutest girl youll ever see , " lance had ended . Yes , he self censored himself . Connor was still pure .

Oddly enough , connors eyes seem to be interest at the name of pidge . And even more weirder , he asked lance to be his teammate for this science project on fabric tendancies . The garrison is weird , dont question it . So connor invited him to his home , which worked out well cause all weekend lance just went pidge mode . And he decided to pry more cause he seemed to know a bit .

So that weekend , he saw a girl with long hair that vaguely looked like katie holt . " This is a pidge i know , " connor said . And oh fuck , it clicked in his head - connor's brain shut off after realizing what he did .

Pidge had changed - her hair became longer , more fluffy . Lighter coloured too , from spending time outside . And the most prominent change - she had a baby . With curly blonde hair . And blue eyes .

In lances mind , he couldnt fathom why he had ever decided to leave the motel room anymore . And neither did pidge .

_________________________________________

In the end , everything ended with a flurry of kisses and love , before night struck , and the next morning lance had left again . He had to go to school , which was logical of him . So she didnt put it against him , just helped him get ready and said bye at the door , albeit sadly .

_________________________________________

The years went by . Her little dilapitated house was finally put together . What little she had , pidge tried to make the best of it . She slept with her two children to keep them warm .

Yep , child uno numbero two . I dont know spanish , sorry . I am trying my best on duolingo , though .

Connor still checked up on her , lance still asked about her . He was like the middleman . Poor guy had a affinity for both of them .

One day , lance showed up randomly with a nice suit and a sexy , sleek black car . " Pidge , your parents . They are trying to pry anything about you from me and connors cold , dead hands . Just go back to them , please . Im sorry i didnt have the heart to come visit . "

For whatever reason , it sounded so halfhearted for both of them . Maybe because lance didnt want to make her leave her home and talk to her about it . And they both knew it .

Pidge , she felt hostile .

So she made sure her children never spoke to him if he came .

The next time , he tried to coax her to leave with him to go home . Not happening .

The third time , lance got hella pissed , and started packing up their things . " Lance , why are you doing this ? I dont want to go back . "

And lance softened . " Because i want to take care of you . I finally found you , finally get to see my children , and i finally have money to take care of my family . "

Pidge dragged him out . " Ill consider it . "

_______________________________________

The next time he visited , pidge was ready to leave . " Ive said my goodbyes , said ill come visit . Dont let me down . "

The first thing they did was pack up her items . Put it in her old refurbished van , and while pidge drove his car , and lance drove her old van .

They went to the village , said one last goodbye , and with heavy hearts left . But something inside of pidge lightened . She was finally going home .

__________________________________________

Osara , old rosa , maybellina , tom , connor , they all came to visit pidge and lance when they got married . Their children - samantha for the older curly blonde and girasol for the younger straight black haired - were the little bridesmaids . How cute .

When matt and shiro got married , everyone came back again to celebrate .

Years went by . The village finally got internet , so lance and pidge got the occasional call , and called here and there . Connor and pidge and lance were still as close and cutesy as ever . They visited the village , watched it grow and expand . Helped pidges old friends out . They dragged connor out of a abusive marriage that firstly , left him with seven children , and secondly , a lot of freedom .

And life was nice . Even though pidges family were heavy pissed , they got over it within minutes and only had love left . Even when times got rough with connor when his family was slowly falling apart because of his wife , he managed to kick her out . Very nice .

And a lot nice things happened that lead them to a nice little marriage again , with a epic threesome . Yay for me wanting fluff ! Yay for connor , poor guy !

Fin

__________________________________________

I warned you , the ending was rushed .

Heres the original draft [ read for loss of braincells ] :

DURING HIGH SCHOOL LANCE AND PIDGE DID THE DEED , PIDGE GOT PREGGERS , LANCE SAID BYE AND SO PIDGE ENDED UP MOVING TO A RURAL AREA CAUSE SHE WAS SCARED HER FAM WOULD FYCKING HATE HER DUMBASS SO SHE PACKS UP AND GETS MONEY FROM WHEREVER SHE KNOWS OF AND THEN SHE JUST TAKES A BUS RIDE FAR FAR AWAY SOMEWHERE SO SHE COULD SAVE MONRY AND BE SELF SUFFICIENT IN A RURAL SHITHOLE AND ALL SO SHE LIVES IN A SHITTY DILAPITATED COTTAGE WITH HER KID WITH VIRTUALLY NOTHING LILE LITERALLY NOTHING ALL THE CLOTHES SHE HAS ITS FROM DUMPSTERS IN THE CITY AND THERES ONE FUCKING MATTRESS IN THE ONE ROOM AND LIKE A TABLE WITH TWO CHAIRS THATS IT BUT PIDGE SOMEHOW MANAGES TO WEASEL MONEY INTO HER FAMILY AND ALL AND ONE DAY LANCEP ULLS UP YEARS AFTER IN A FANCY FUCKING CAR AND SAYS HEY SORRY SHES LIKE NO FUCK YOU BUT LANCE COMES BACK THE SECOND TIME AND PIDGES LIKE KID DONT COME OUT IF THUS CUNT COMES BUT EVENT7ALLY THE THIRD TIME HE WRANGLES HER INTO HIS CAR BY LITERALLY TAKING THEIR SHIT AND SAYING YOURE MOVING AND HE ASKS HER KID TO FOLLOW HIM AND THE DUMBASS KIDS LIKE UH MOM LOL OK SO THEN PIDGES LIEK WHAT THE FUCK AND HE FORCES THEM TO HIS HOUSE SO THEY CAN LIVE A BETTER LIFE AND HIS KID WONT BE FUCKING UNEDUCATED AND UNVAXXED AND EVERYTHING AND HE CAN ACTUALLY MAKE IT UP TO PIDGE AND THAT PIDGE CAN GO HOME TO HER FAMILY SO PIDGES LIKE WHY AND HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND ME AND LANCE JUST SAYS HE SPENT FUCKING YEARS GOING FULL ON SHERLOCK HOLMES TO FIND HER DEADASS SO BECAUSE HER KID LIKES LANCE SHES LIKE FUCK OK SO EVENTUALLY THEY KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE BAM END YAAAAS

HWEN I SAID GOD AU I MEANT IT THIS HAS BEEN IN MY HEAD FOR MO N T H A

ANYWAY ELABORATING ON KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE HE GETS THEM A EPIC NICE HOUSE AND NEW CLOTHES AND SHIT AND CHECKS ON PIDGE AND HER KID EVERY FIVE SECONDS TO MAKE SURE THEYRE OKAT AND HE PLAYS WITH PIDGES KID EVEN WHEN HE HAS LITERALLY NO TIME LIKE HES WEARING FANCY CLOTHES AND HAS A CONFERNECE AT 3PM BUT ITS 255 AND HES STILL PLAYING WITH HER KID NADP IDGE HAS TO FORCE HIS DUMBASD TO LEAVE AND DO THE MONRY MONEY SO PIDGES LIKE HEY KID DO YOU LIKE PLAYING WITH HIM HAHA HES YOUR FUCKING DAD AND SHES LIKE WOOOAAAHHHH CAUSE SHES A DUMBASS KID SO DUMB KID LOVES LANCE RVEN MORE AND PIDGES LIKE I TILD HER YOURE HER DAD OKAY ILL GO COOK POTATOES NOW AND LANCE IS HAPPY HAPPY SO AFTER THE HAPPY HAPPY LANCE GOES INTO THE GUEST ROOM TO TALK TO PISGE CAUSE THATS HER HOME NOW AND THEY JUST DECIDE TO PUT AWAY THEIR UNDERLYING ISSIES FOR THEIR KID AND BECAUSE SEX MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER THEY HAVE SEX AND WOW LOOK PIDGES PREGNANT AGAIN FOR FUCKS SAKE SO LANCE TAKES CARE OF PIDGE LEGIT NOW AND GETS PIDGE A FUTURE JOB AFTER SHES DONE WITH CHILD OUT AND ALL SO ITS ANOTHER DUMB KID WHOOPIE WOWOWOWOWWO WHO FUCKING KNEW SO NOW HER FIRST KIDS LIKE TWO YEARS OLD BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL KID THAT SHE AND LANCE FUCKED WAS DEAD YEAH IT DIED BUT SHE WENT TO A CLUB AND FUCKED DRUNK LANCE AGAIN AND LEFT OR SOMETHING GOD ONOWS WHAT HAPPENED CAUSE LANCE SURE AS HELL DOESNT SO NOW PIDGE IS LIKE OH MAYBE HE ISNT A SHITBAG AND LANCES LIKE HEY HOT MARRY ME AND SHES LIKE LOL OK SO THEY KISSED KISSED FALLED IN LOVED

[mothercetrion]

Truest Apologies (Repost)

Summary: Sektor had never felt so guilty.

Characters: Sub-Zero (Kuai Liang), Sektor, Cyrax, Smoke (Tomas Vrbada), Bi-Han and Saibot

Word Count: 1940

i wanted to write a fic about sektor and his mind after being human again… it’s sad. he feels mega guilty and kinda breaks down over it. be warned! but enjoy [crossposted to AO3] reposting bc this didnt show up in the tags the first time and im mad

———

None of the Lin Kuei boys were able to live well at first.

Kuai Liang had settled all of them—Bi-Han (and Saibot), Tomas, Cyrax, and Sektor—in his bedroom from the moment they arrived at the temple. All of them had their own cots to sleep on right near Kuai Liang’s bed; if they were unable to sleep, had a nightmare, or began to break down, then he would be right there for them. He knew that he often needed someone by his side to be at ease when he was revived. He wanted to be the most supportive that he could possibly be.

And he was.

Bi-Han was rarely able to get to sleep without assistance. He tried to keep his anguish to himself, but he frequently failed. Kuai Liang often let him vent his worries and fears and nightmarish thoughts to him until he was exhausted. He slept then, and only then, on most nights. He would wake in a fright, and Kuai Liang would wake up immediately. He had a sense, a vague feeling, that told him whenever his brother woke up. He would ease his panicking mind with firm words—“You are Bi-Han. Noob is gone. You’re okay. You’re gonna be okay.”—and a comforting hug. Bi-Han was usually quick to calm, but he was always clearly frazzled and was unable to go back to sleep quickly.

Tomas was often just working to convince himself that he did not need any assistance. He slept decently and rarely woke up, but when he did, he simply could not stop crying. Quiet, pained, agonizing sobs escaped him as Kuai Liang held him close. He dreamt of his torture in the Netherrealm, mostly, but he also dreamt of his narrow escape from cyberization. He dreamt of his best friends being forced into cyberization and living a hellish life with seemingly no escape or happiness. The thought of his best friends in danger scared him the most. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he would mumble into Kuai Liang’s chest. He felt guilty that he could not save them from cyberization; it haunted him. Kuai Liang always assured him that it was not his fault. It wasn’t. He was always left on edge the next morning, but he was quick to find himself in a good state. It was his coping mechanism, acting as if things weren’t awful, Kuai Liang assumed.

Cyrax did not sleep. At all. Not at first. Kuai Liang would wake with the others and see him awake and looking out the window. Kuai Liang saw fear in his eyes, all the time. He would help one of the others and sit next to him and offer him an ear to listen to. He just looked at him and would get teary-eyed, but he never let them fall. He would describe his life as a cyborg and the agony that came with it. He would say that his yellow, metal body haunted him when he closed his eyes for too long. He couldn’t bear to sleep. Kuai Liang would sit with him and talk through his feelings with him. It was easy for them to connect; they were both cyborgs and experienced the same thing. Cyrax never felt alone with Kuai Liang there.

But one of them refused to ask for help and never acted as he needed it… Sektor.

He acted okay when they all hung out. Never seemed to let his thoughts about being a cyborg get to him. He comforted others when they needed it, namely Cyrax, who was close with him and was a cyborg alongside him, but he always looked vaguely uncomfortable. He was on edge, always ready for something to jump out at him, to the most trained eyes. But his voice and his actions never reflected that. He acted as if his mind was in pristine condition.

Kuai Liang knew it wasn’t the case. He had to be, at some level or another, traumatized. Only the most heartless of people could be revived or saved and not be traumatized. Sektor wasn’t heartless. Not even close.

Nearly two weeks went by. One evening, when the others were all training outside the temple and Sektor remained inside, Kuai Liang sat next to him and watched the others outside. It was hardly considered a serious training session; Tomas and Cyrax were trying to convince Saibot to trip Bi-Han at any given moment. They were all laughing and smiling. It was great fun.

“Not want to join them?” Kuai Liang asked with a small smile.

Sektor shook his head, his long hair swaying. He hadn’t worn it up since his restoration. “I wanted to sit out this time.”

“Next time, we both join?”

“For sure. I’m off my game.”

Kuai Liang chuckled to himself, but he then realized why he even sat down next to him in the first place.

Tomas was the first to come to him in fear for Sektor’s mental state. He was well aware that he and the others were not the best mentally, and he knew that no one who had ever been revived was perfect minded immediately. He knew that Sektor wasn’t in his prime. It was impossible. He refused to train, refused to hang out with the others like they insisted he did. He was not himself, and Tomas knew that. “He was one of my best friends. I don’t even know who he is now,” he had said.

Cyrax was the next to come to him. He said that he had seen Sektor alone in a corridor of the temple very late one eve, when he left the room to use the bathroom. He was sitting on the floor of the corridor and having a nervous breakdown into his palms. The second that he heard Cyrax’s footsteps, he jumped up and ran outside the temple, refusing to let him get close. Cyrax knew that his mind was not as good as he let on. He was scared for him.

The most concerned, by far, was Bi-Han. While Sektor washed up before dinner one evening, he came to his younger brother with worry all over his face. He was very close with Sektor before the tournament took place, and he was nothing like he was before the tournament. The Sektor he knew and cared about was very serious about training and staying in shape, and he was always there to encourage the other Lin Kuei to do the same. But upon their revival, Sektor was distant from the others. He wasn’t himself, not even close. Sektor refused to speak with Bi-Han like they had in the past; it felt as though they were strangers. Bi-Han believed that Kuai Liang was the only one that could reach him.

“Are you doing well, Sektor?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.

Sektor kept looking outside the temple. His shoulders went stiff. “Getting by,” he mumbled.

“Please don’t lie to me, Sektor.” Kuai Liang frowned at him. “I know your mind is racing. You are not unbreakable like you want to believe.”

“I’m fine, Kuai Liang.” Sektor looked away from the outside of the temple, hiding his face from the Grandmaster. “Please do not push it anymore.”

Kuai Liang remembered back to his own revival. Sometimes, being alone with his thoughts was just what he needed. So he dropped the topic and changed it to something else.

The rest of the evening went by smoothly. The others had been able to sleep better, and Kuai Liang went to sleep alongside them without a worry in the world.

But then he woke up when someone shook him awake. He was met with the sight of Sektor standing above him, shaking like a leaf in a storm. He was crying. Hard.

“Sektor?” Kuai Liang sat up in a flash, concern all over his face. “Sektor, what’s wrong?”

He couldn’t speak. Sektor attempted to, but a strained sob forced itself out instead. Kuai Liang immediately climbed out of bed and grabbed one of his hands, pulling him towards the exit of the room. “Let’s go outside so the others don’t wake up. Come on.”

The two hurried out of the room and outside the temple. Snow fell in gentle flakes, despite it being springtime. The two sat on the concrete steps outside the temple, and Sektor raised his free hand to his eyes and hid them from sight. He let out another sob, his shoulders jerking.

“Sektor, talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong,” Kuai Liang said gently, leaning towards him and squeezing his hand. “You’re worrying me.”

Sektor forced in a breath and looked Kuai Liang in the eye. “I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“I—” Sektor choked back another sob, taking another deep breath. “I pushed for cyberization. I said it would be a-a good thing, a-and it wasn’t at all. It hurt you and it hurt Cyrax and—”

“You had no way of knowing that it would end like that, Sektor,” Kuai Liang assured.

“I should’ve.” Sektor released Kuai Liang’s hand and turned himself away in shame. “I never imagined that it would be so awful… I-I let my best friends get traumatized over my own selfish needs. I can’t even think about it without wanting to break, and I can’t because it was my idea and I deserve to feel that pain. Cyrax doesn’t deserve to feel that. Seeing him break down… it hurts me so deeply.” He wiped fresh tears off of his cheeks. “I know it traumatized you too. You are one of my closest friends, and I hurt you.”

“Do you live with bad memories, Sektor?”

Sektor nodded. “Every day. It’s a nightmare every night, fear of technology and growth and the people who let me do that… It was so far from good, Kuai Liang.” He looked him in the eye then. He looked scared. “I feel so guilty. I can’t even be near my friends without feeling so horribly guilty.”

Kuai Liang lifted a hand and put it on his upper arm. “You never would have done that if you did not feel like it was for the better. Don’t feel guilty.”

“…You must hate me, surely. Cyrax too.”

“Neither of us do. Not even a little.” Kuai Liang rubbed his hand along his arm in a comforting fashion. “We worry about you. All of us. You are still one of our best friends. We know you would never put us through that on purpose.” He smiled softly. “We want you to come to us about your feelings, Sektor. We know you’re not coping well. No one is.”

Sektor looked down at his lap in shame. “I am already part of the reason that you experienced trauma… I do not want to be a burden. You have so much to deal with right now anyway.”

“You can always come to me. No matter what.” Kuai Liang squeezed his bicep, causing Sektor to look up. “Promise you’ll come to me in the future? And not let your guilt consume you? We care about you and love you, Sektor.”

Sektor smiled softly and nodded. “I promise. Thank you, Kuai Liang. I… I feel a lot better.”

Without another word, the two men hugged on the concrete steps of the temple. Kuai Liang rubbed his back in a comforting fashion when Sektor leaned all of his weight against his shoulder. He desperately needed that hug.

One day at a time, Kuai Liang knew. It would take one day at a time for things to be normal again.

But that was a good enough start for him.

[margueritegracq]

Charm

My Fic for @itsbuckysworld Marvel Secret Santa

I got @supersoldier-of-asgard

Pairing: Bucky x you

Genre: Mostly Fluff, maybe a pinch of angst in the middle.

Word Count: 1145

Warnings: Bad writing.

Summary: After a car accident Leyha signs up for a group therapy program near her house. There she meets a mysterious man with an obviously painful past.

That day changed things. It split your life into a before and after, a then and a now. You were driving down the interstate, towards your mom's house when it happened. The red SUV in front of you hit the brakes and you couldn't stop in time.

At first, you remember, it didnt hurt. You had minor injuries but nothing major. Just scrapes and bruises.

Opening your eyes you looked in horror at the wreck in surrounding you. The back of the SUV was barely dented, with just a small bend in the metal where your car was, its silver surface squashed like a tin can.

The inside of the car was bent too, the dash had fallen and trapped your legs by the pedals. You tried to maneuver your foot, but couldn't. It seemed as if the car had folded around it, holding it in place. Trying to move it again, you came to a terrifying conclusion. What if the reason you were having trouble moving it was because you couldn't.

Gasping, you searched for your purse, hands shaking with shock. You grabbed your phone from inside and pulled up the call screen. In a moment of indecision you click on your mother's name.

"Mom..." you croak, your voice sounding hoarse and dry.

"Mom, I'm scared."

There was a crackling on the other end, like voices talking in the background. Finally your mother's voice played over the speaker.

"Leyha sweetie, what's wrong?" She asked nervously.

"There are was an accident. The car in front of me just..." you trail off.

"Okay baby," she soothes, "Are you hurt? Do you need an ambulance?"

You pushed a clump of matted chestnut hair out of your eyes, wet with blood or sweat, you couldn't be sure.

"I can't feel my legs." You whisper, "Everything else hurts, my head, my chest, my back, but not my legs. It's as if they just walked away." 

After surgery your family convinced you to go to a group therapy session at the local rec center. You were in a wheelchair temporarily, until your legs were strong enough to stand. Luckily, you were expected to make somewhere close to a full recovery.

Thank goodness for late arrivals, you think as a man walks in. He was a decent height with long dark hair and bulging biceps. He was wearing a dark green long sleeved shirt, blue jeans, and pair of sneakers that looked very worn.

Lucky for you he had just interrupted right before you had to speak.Yay. But the delay only lasted a couple of seconds and now it was your turn to share.

"My name is Leyha and three weeks ago I was in a car accident." You say.

"My right foot is paralyzed and my left is completely numb. The doctors say there's a good chance I could walk again but I will need a cane my whole life."

The room gives you sympathetic looks and the strange man even looks up. You get a quick glimpse of his face and its surprisingly handsome.

You give the group a slight smile and they move on to the next person. After about twenty minutes it's the man's turn.

A minute passes, and them another. Finally he opens his mouth and speaks.

"I fought in the war," he said.

"Not this new one, a different, bloodier one. A war where I lost everything. I lost myself. And then it ended without me. But I was still there," he whispers.

It was barely audible, only you alone heard it but you imagine his pain. Trauma. Guilt. What he faced must have been unimaginable. Slowly you place your hand on his shoulder reassuringly. It was cold, and hard, nothing like an arm should be like at all. But you hid your suprise well and gave him a big smile back. And well, for a second you think he smiles back too.

He doesn't come to the next therapy session. Or any of the ones after that. Weeks pass, then months, and your legs start to get better until you get out of your wheelchair and into a cane. Life seemed to be looking up for you but you kept thinking about that man. Did he get the help he needs? Does he have someone to help him through his hard times? And that little voice in the back of your mind, whispering What was with his arm?

Walking through the park one warm summer day you spot the man again. He was with a group of people, a tall blond man and a tough looking woman with reddish hair. He is wearing a black tee with a single sleeve cut off to reveal a shiny prosthetic arm. He laughs at something the man said, a deep laugh, a happy laugh. You decide to go over and talk to him.

"Excuse me?" you say, tapping his shoulder.

"You probably don't remember me, but we met briefly around 5 months ago and Its just nice to see you having fun. Back then it seemed like something was really weighing on you."

You turn around quickly, nervous for a reply and start walking away. Did you really just do that? Go up and talk to someone? You breathe out slowly. You didn't seem nervous right? You probably should have waited for a reply or something. Was that rude?

You sit down on the nearest bench to collect yourself. You're an absolute mess. You had one conversation (If you could even call it a conversation) five months ago! You've talked to the guy twice and both have been extremely awkward! You rest your head in your hands and sigh.

Then you fell a tap on your shoulders and hear a man speaking.

"Excuse me?" he asks.

You look up. It's the man from therapy!

"You probably don't remember me," he begins, "but we met briefly 5 months ago and again around-" he looks down at his watch, "-three or some minutes ago. Anyways, I would like to ask you an question."

"A question?"

"Yes. I was wondering how you manage to pull off these tiny, three sentence conversations."

You're speechless.

"Nevermind," he says, "I guess it's just part of your charm."

Charm? When did you have Charm? You are the dorkiest person you know! You take a peek behind you to see if there's another girl there before turning back and realizing it's ridiculous. There couldn't be another girl behind you who met him 5 months ago and also had awkward mini conversations. (Well there could but it would be unlikely.)

"Yes." You answer.

"Yes what? Yes you do have charm? I thought I just confirmed that."

You sigh and place your hand on your forehead.

He laughs. "Really turning up the charm now," he says. "How about we go check out the new Italian place this Friday?"

You take a deep breath. "Sure. But don't expect me to get less dorky."

He smiles.

"Lose your charm? Never."