#also all it does is reinforce passing privilege

[kingkrillin]

just need to share how much I dislike this post lol

people will fully expect trans men to put ourselves on the line for everyone else and meanwhile the only time they acknowledge our existence is to talk about how "low risk" we are (obviously untrue) or to volunteer us out as a community for potentially dangerous activist endeavors that they wouldn't risk doing themselves

"we need to get uncomfortable!" and what's actually being discussed is convincing a subset of the community to be uncomfortable on your behalf while you do nothing to show solidarity with us

[moon932]

I feel like Vautrin as a character gets passed by a lot in the fandom, which is a shame because he is such an interesting part of Neuvillette's past in Fontaine. And in my (very humble) opinion, I feel like out of all the characters he probably had the biggest impact on Neuvillete.

(more thoughts under the cut)

First thing that stands out to me with him is that he's the only other human character that is mentioned to have been close to Neuvillette. And most likely the first human, outside of Furina (which she both does and doesn't count? idk it weird), he would've met and grown close to when he came to Fontaine ~400 years ago. And this is interesting to me because we know how this story ends and I wonder if he is partially the reason, or maybe he just reinforced the idea, that Neuvillette abstains from forming close relationships?

Think about it, Neuvillette and Vautrin worked closely for years. Hoyo likes to be vague with their timelines so idk how long they would have been working together, but it must've been substantial for Neuvillette (who is an immortal being, so time probably feels different to him) to remember and reminisce about. We're both shown and told that they both had great respect for each other. Also one of the biggest things that stick out to me with the trial part of the story quest, is the noticable emotions in Neuvillette's voice as he juries over the trial. Which yes we know that trials make him emotional which usually manifests in the rain, but this is the first and only time (I think? pls correct me if I'm wrong on this) that it's noticeable in his voice.

The last big thing I think about isn’t the trial itself necessarily, but the way Neuvillette talks about it in the fortress with Wriothesley. I think this is more specific for the english dub bc Ray Chase, instead of saying “And I believed he had every right to feel that way.” he changes it into present tense: “I believe he had every right to feel that way.” Ok this one may be a bit of a stretch because they essentially mean and get across the same thing, but it’s so interesting that it’s changed to present tense. And honestly? I think it works better with the present tense. Because Neuvillette doesn’t condemn Vautrin for the emotions he felt, (which wild theory but maybe he was channeling his emotions towards those he killed and not necessarily towards Neuvillette? so out there ik) if anything Neuvillette seems more then ok to readily accept them and the fact that they are (supposedly) directed at him.

Some other minor stuff that always makes my brain start to whir is that while the parallel were drawn between Vautrin and Carole / Traveller and Paimon in the quest, I do think it’s more fitting to say Wriothesley and Sigewinne are a more accurate parallel. Is this a slight critique on main character privilege? Yes.

If you’re wondering why I’m fixated on this it’s because Neuvillette is a character, that while his interpersonal relationships are sparse, they’re usually a lot more complex and often deeper under the surface. Neuvillette and the melusines are some dynamics that I wished Hoyo explored more often because I would love to know how to the melusines view Neuvillette more in depth. (If Sigewinne’s voice lines or character stories touch on this please let me know! I’d love to read them.) I have barely even touched on Neuvillette and Furina because their relationship is such a complex mix of trust and fear and pain and love. Not to mention Neuvillette and Wriothesley “The words unspoken are the flower.” Okay sir, keep your secrets I see how it is.

Do I think that Neuvillette always had the idea that the Chief Justice must remain impartial in any circumstances running through his head when he first took position in Fontaine? Yes, but I do think that the trial with Vautrin may have exacerbated this thought and made it more of a lifestyle type thing. Or maybe Neuvillette believes all his relationships from then on may be set in a perpetual cycle of grief and loss because surely nothing will out live the sovereign of water, the original god of life itself?

[super-hero-confessions]

This slander of The Boys comics from people who have not read them and know nothing about them needs to stop.

No, they're not 'jUsT GaRtH eNnIs BeInG aN eDgElOrD', you could not be more media illiterate with that statement if you tried.

This guy knew exactly what he was doing, everything that seems 'edgy' ends up tying up in a way that makes sense of the story and gives incredibly heart wrenching and satisfying conclusions. He's teaching lessons. And he gets it.

Yeah, there's humor and some of the stuff is a bit on the nose. But it's also a huge load of political statements and criticisms of the way society and people are in reality. Not just an exploration of the superhero genre in a more realistic setting.

Idiots that turn a blind eye to tragedy or crime because they 'don't want to see it' or have it disrupt their rose tinted privileged ass lives and would rather let those things pass by are exactly the type of people he is criticizing in The Boys.

Even the show does this. But it flies right over peoples' heads because they can't get past the gruesome reality of news flash, general reality!

Ennis KNEW. He knew exactly what he was doing and exactly why he made the comic the way it was, and it had nothing to do with 'edge'. Hell, even the people working with him knew it too. And he even knew how people were going to respond to it.

Even the way Homelander is presented vs. Billy. They have a reversed character development set up that slowly shows you who the true monsters of the story were. Billy even says it first hand that the job of The Boys and CIA is reinforcing the status quo. And Ennis understood exactly what he was criticizing and creating with Homelander.

He straight up has Annie say:

"All little kids are psychos!"

Which one, TRUE. HE GETS IT.

And two? Homelander IS presented in a way that shows his mental growth was stunted before he had the chance. He's not just some heartless monster who's running crimes left and right. It's a build up. And he has to convince himself after the fact that he CAN do these things, so he SHOULD, because he has (hasn't actually) before. But he's just pure evil and a monster in the comics. Right? Right??

Wrong! That's why he's having so much trouble with it!

But tell me one and two are meer coincidence, I dare you.

And it takes Homelander literal YEARS after being blackmailed by Billy to work up the courage to be a bad guy, AFTER being gaslit into believing he was one.

HE WASN'T.

And STILL. He is having horrible reactions like literally throwing up to actually trying to be bad and doing bad things, even when he's a smug asshole. Meanwhile Billy just does worse and worse remorselessly.

Ennis even has things go unnoticed or fly over the characters' heads to show just how much we might miss if we blink.

And while it is true that he has a style choice that may not be for everyone, the real reason people can't stand the idea of it, not even the work itself but the IDEA. Is that these same people can't stand bitter truths in reality, no matter how much they'd pretend to support victims or have the moral highroad. The reality is that when push comes to shove, no one wants to be the person who has to deal with gruesome reality.

Well guess what, some people don't get that choice. Some people don't get to live in a world of just rainbows and butterflies while denouncing everything else and the people who have to walk through mud.

You people are exactly like that woman asking A-Train to give her a 'tad more upbeat' story because they don't want to talk about the gang violence he experienced in his childhood. Or better yet, how bout those lawmakers that keep trying to change the educational system to paint awful things in positive lighting?

Put up. Or shut up.

Read the fucking comics or stop judging the books you know nothing about.

[howlingrose]

Like, we all know patriarchy is a thing and that it is an oppressive system. But even if it is called patriarchy, it doesn't mean that people who identify as men or people that were AMAB and socialized as such didn't suffer from it just like the rest of us.

Patriarchy is a system that has power due to the binary division of the world, it reinforces and promotes social norms and behaviours that stick to very defined gender roles and gives privileges to those who fit in the category they define as "male" as long as they perform as expected regarding sexuality, identity and presentation.

And that is fucked up!!

How painful must it be to feel like you have to chop off or hide bits of yourself to fit into that if you don't want to lose the conditional privileges you have, that shouldn't be privileges but rights for everyone, while witnessing that other people around you suffer for not being able or for choosing not to fit.

Thinking that it only affects women or AFAB people is cruel and only reinforces the binary division that that system is actively trying to perpetuate. It denies the right of self identification of trans AMAB and AFAB people by still encasing, seeing and treating them as something they are not.

That is why whenever I see an event labeled as "for women and NB people" I don't trust it as a safe space or a place where my identity is going to be taken seriously or respected. I think that any event that is welcoming to minorities and has any desire of creating community, promoting education or encourages activism related in any way to gender, should not exclude men.

Because feminine men, trans men, male presenting NB people, closeted trans people, AFAB people that either don't want to or can't pass as female, intersex people, agender people, genderfluid people, not hypermasculine men and cis men who are just as disgusted by what patriarchy is and does to them and to others can easily be excluded from those events by labels like those.

(sorry if due to my limited experience and perception of the world I'm missing more identities and realities that might also feel excluded in those cases, if you read this let me know about your experiences)

And all of them are crucial to the shared goal of creating a fairer, more inclusive and freely diverse world we all want and deserve.

So, yeah. "Women and non-binary" stinks to terf shit to me, as if they were trying to appeal and convert what they see as "women who identify as non binary" back into "womanhood" by excluding and attacking what they erroneously and small minded-ly understand as men.

Hope you enjoyed my ranting.

*says while waiting to save enough money to finally chop off their tits and realizes (again) that once we physically transition we get to experience a whole new wave of hate by resembling what terfs and gender purists understand as male*

Yeeeeey! Fuck

NB 👏 Does 👏 Not 👏 Mean 👏 Woman 👏 Lite

[pb-dot]

Today I read: Hide by Kiersten White

Well, I didn't read all of it today, but I had to title this thing something. Anyway, this one turned into a bit of a pleasant surprise. Going in, I expected a bit of a Death Game thing, as the "hide and seek reality show in an abandoned amusement park where there's OBVIOUSLY something spooky going on" setup seemed to beg for one of those cynical Most Dangerous Game-kind of twists. It certainly would be thematically apt, as our protagonist Mack is so deeply in the Survivor Guilt well after surviving her father going all Family Annihilator that having to go a little bit deeper to fight her way out would be one of those plot developments that'd make sense in the bleak headspace that a lot of horror operates.

That's not quite what is going on, though, and I'll get into it more under the cut on account of spoilers. Suffice to say that the book instead pivots on a twist that's just clever enough. It was a turn I didn't see coming, but looking back I see the book did put the work in. It does remind me a bit about how White's followup, Mister Magic, ratchets up the tension around the truth of what is going on in such a way that when it goes in a different way than you'd initially expect, it feels clever, like the inherent incomprehensibility of the forces at play kind of guides the story back down to the human elements, a bit of a lovecraftian "who was the monster and who was the man" kind of situation.

Alright, so spoiler talk from here on out. The quietly brilliant thing about Hide isn't that it turns out to be a "maze of minos" type of story as the abandoned amusement park being designed to function as a maze is indeed no coincidence, but rather that the beast at the heart of it certainly is minotuar-like, but also not a minotaur. It's shaped differently, it has too many horns, it's terrifying but also strangely pitiable, and it's invisible and intangible to everyone except the ones it serves and feeds on, the two groups is the same, technically. It is somewhat unclear whether the benefaction it provides can be separated from the privilege of those that feed it, or whether its ostensible masters merely sacrifice fourteen people every seven years to save their own asses at this point.

It's a marvelous take on the "necessary sacrifice," in part because the author, and by extension, the protagonist sees this ghoulish ritual for what it actually is. It isn't necessary, it isn't the lesser of two evils. It's a reinforcement of the heinous lie of founding mythology, an attempt to delineate between Us, the descendants of Hard Working Good People who made Hard But Necessary Sacrifices, and the Other, who as it turns out are descended from more or less the same people, but dilluted in some weird skull-measuring way. Never mind that these Good People created entire dynasties of suffering and want to keep the flow of people they were related enough to for the sacrifice, but of low enough status that they wouldn't mind their passing.

As a general rule, I prefer not to try to psychoanalyze authors while I read their work. That said, there's more than a touch of Mormon vibes to the villains of both Hide and Mister Magic, and while I think the symbolism matches pretty close to the general American folk myth of the pious, humble settler who through faith and Hard Work (and untold systematic exploitation and abuse of just about anyone not white, rich, and male) created the nation, I also get the distinct impression that looking deeper into the history of the Mormon church would have me unearth some very familiar-looking details. It is no surprise, I think, that White's horror protagonists struggle with Survivor's Guilt as they are pulled into unhealthy situations by wealthy legacy-obsessed crackers who don't like swearing, but I shan't make an ass out of myself by speculating any further.

White's characters are interesting to me. They're not exactly vivid, but there is something deeply relatable to how they're all compressed by their trauma, reduced to their most necessary functions by the stresses they go through. All the same, I can't help but feel for them. White is very efficient in how she shows those glints of personality, to the level where even Alpha Couple and Bog Standard Reality Show Douchebags Jaden and (Pretty) Ava have this desperate, cynical clinginess to them. They each only hold on to each other more or less to be the one to betray their ostensible partner first. Make no mistake, it's hardly a great tragedy when these two inevitably have their cards punched, but there is a certain melancholic humor to how their dedication to this sudden but inevitable betrayal rends them blind to the actual trick that's played on them until it's messily devouring them. It's a fun little thing to afford to the two most tedious participants in any given reality show.

In the end, I think I appreciated Hide more as a polemic than a horror novel per se. It's a book with some interesting thoughts, and its take on the conceptual minotaur is fascinating, if not quite as scary as, say, the House Of Leaves take on the same. That said, the book earns many points in how it resolves Mack's story, where she ostensibly surrenders to her own hopelessness and the heartless machinations of the piece's true villain, only to reveal that the petty, lazy, self-aggrandizing evil of the sacrifices have opened her eyes to the pathetic cruelty behind her own trauma, and now she's going to burn this mother down. It's a kickass turn, and while the finale feels a touch rushed, it's mostly because I want to see this great vengeance and furious anger play out even more. That said, the book ends absolutely beautifully, and pacing problems or no, there is something delightfully punk about it.

[stevensaus]

In the days around the first political debate in 2024, a particular political idea kept resurfacing (again): The idea that Joe Biden is a bad candidate not due to his age, but because he supports --- these are direct quotes, not sarcasm quotes -- "genocide" in Palestine, passed laws that "imprisoned Black men", and so on. Their point -- express or implied -- is something like "they're both the same, they all are oppressors, they're all oligarchs," etc. I am not going to argue whether or not any of those things -- or whatever other policy complaint you have about Biden or the Democrats -- are true. I am also not going to argue whether or not they are important. There's three simple reasons for that. Voting is harm reduction. You can have multiple political strategies Voting alone is not enough Yes, I've read the essay "Voting is not Harm Reduction." It literally begins (emphasis mine): Though there are some political distinctions between the two prominent parties in the so-called U.S., they all pledge their allegiance to the same flag. Red or blue, they’re both still stripes on a rag waving over stolen lands that comprise a country built by stolen lives. We don’t dismiss the reality that, on the scale of U.S. settler colonial violence, even the slightest degree of harm can mean life or death for those most vulnerable. Voting is not Harm Reduction It accurately points out that the idea of "'voting as harm reduction' obscures and perpetuates settler-colonial violence," to which I'd add it also obscures the oligarchic control and self-reinforcing class and race structure of the system. That is, it does so if that is the only thing you do, and that you continue to give that lesser evil a pass on the evil they do. The whole concept makes the presumption that the only action that one can take is voting (or otherwise working within the government structure)... and that not voting has a larger effect than voting. It's like a secular version of Pascal's wager. If voting has no effect because both parties are the same, then I might as well vote, since it won't make a difference. However, if voting does have an effect, particularly one that "can mean life or death for those most vulnerable," then I should vote. The absurdly low individual cost to me of voting makes the ethical math worse. To explicitly choose to not vote when that result could literally mean the difference between life and death to someone in a more vulnerable position than myself is a staggering amount of arrogant privilege. HOWEVER. That does not mean -- and has never meant -- voting is enough. It also does not mean that the party/group/individual I voted for cannot be criticized when it does awful stuff. That idea -- exemplified by the GOP's term "RINO" to get people to toe the ideological line -- is closely associated with fascist rulers (see: Russia, China, North Korea), so... yeah, I'm gonna criticize "my side" when they're wrong. That's all we need to say about that. But voting also still isn't enough. There are many ways to take political and social action, and if you can't think of any, there's local and national groups that I'm sure would be happy to have your help. I don't just mean PACs and political parties (though they're certainly included). Here's some other examples: Dayton's Have A Gay Day is not an explicitly political group, but they definitely have an impact in our area not only in supporting those who need assistance, but in promoting equality. The Interfaith Alliance forges "powerful alliances among people of diverse faiths and beliefs to build a resilient, inclusive democracy and fulfill America’s promise of religious freedom and civil rights not just for some, but for all." The Major Taylor Project "breaks down barriers to cycling for youth of color in King and Pierce County" in Washington State. Taking action includes small actions like speaking up when there's something bigoted said at the office. By pestering reporters and editors to, oh, cover a race fairly. And so on.

If there is a benefit I gained from reading "Voting is not Harm Reduction," it is remembering that direct action does not mean it has to be explicitly within the political process and that voting -- even when it does reduce harm, is not enough. Featured Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay https://ideatrash.net/2024/07/voting-is-harm-reduction-but-voting-is-also-not-enough.html?feed_id=183&_unique_id=668ca3df322d0

[ancestorsofjudah]

2 Kings 8: 7-15. "The Recovery."

God forbids the Line of Succession of the Royal Houses of the Kingdom of Israel from permitting the earth to decline into a Zero Box, a state of advanced decay of civilization.

This He says can be done if one plants a spear, a Constitution, and ensures its tenets are reinforced culturally through the Religion. The idea being it is both good and legally required for all societies to treat their people well.

We are not awfully good at doing either. By failing to value the inner composition of a saint, we have come to rely too heavily on law enforcement to protect us and when that wanes, we become what we are: very, very confused about what is happening to us. Confusion is the state of civilization a primate endures, not us.

The Torah and the Melachim were written to help us arrest our states of confusion and advance forward past such unholy circumstances as we have created. There should be no doubt persons like Mike Pence, Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell, Marjorie Taylor or Rob Destantis do not belong in politics. They demonstate not one concern for the duties, science, or spirituality of government. They are brutes and savages and they do indeed act like it.

Their entire regime, the Republican Party acts like this; they are an unstable unwanted artifact of our hateful past and this is not unclear to anyone so why are they permitted to persist in continually burning America to the ground with their hatred of their God and fellow human beings?

The Contstitution gives the President and lawmakers very broad latitude in the care and feeding of this nation, so why do we philosophize about not doing it?

Unlike corporations, government budgets are also legal requirements stated through policy. Missing a budget causes legal problems unless legislation is reviewed for accountability and supplemental legislation is passed to continue financing the government. This process is guaranteed by the US Constitution including the Right To Borrow:

“Under the U.S. Constitution, Congress exercises the “power of the purse.” This power is expressed through the application of several provisions.

The power to lay and collect taxes and the power to borrow are among the enumerated powers of Congress under Article I, Section 8. Furthermore, Section 9 of Article I states that funds may be drawn from the Treasury only pursuant to appropriations made by law,” Saturno (2023).

Contrary to popular belief, the US Government is not selling its debts to a hostile foreign partner, that is absurd. The Federal Reserve, the central bank of the United States of America pulses cash into the government’s bank account using treasury bonds to make up for circumstances waits for the next time.

There are indicators, there is a process, it is hardly reckless or careless. Except we don’t include the relief of poverty as one of the activities we want to finance with debt, a privilege to which we perfectly avail ourselves under other conditions. The Department of the Treasury goes so far as to indicate spending to the required levels, even so far as deficit spending is a requirement of the US Constitution:

“The federal government needs to borrow money to pay its bills when its ongoing spending activities and investments cannot be funded by federal revenues alone. Decreases in federal revenue are largely due to either a decrease in tax rates or individuals or corporations making less money.

The national debt enables the federal government to pay for important programs and services even if it does not have funds immediately available, often due to a decrease in revenue. Decreases in federal revenue coupled with increased government spending further increases the deficit.

Consistent with the purpose of the federal government established by the U.S. Constitution, money is spent on programs and services to ensure the well-being of U.S. residents.

The Constitution’s preamble states that the purpose of the federal government is “…to establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity.” Uninterrupted funding of programs and services is critical to residents’ health, welfare, and security,” Treasury.gov (n.d.).

*Saturno, J. (2023, January 10). Introduction to the Federal Budget Process. https://crsreports.congress.gov/product/pdf/R/R46240. Retrieved August 18, 2023, from https://crsreports.congress.gov/product/pdf/R/R46240

So if God says in the Bible we are to be committed to the Greater Good and He does, and the US Constitution says its our reason for being, why is this place always such a shit show of poverty, fear, incompetence, and controversey?

Because we are leprous. We walk and talk, but we do not believe. We do not trust God and He certainly does not trust us. But the Torah says He is supposed to be able to turn to the King of Israel at all times and He is supposed to do the same with the Assembly, which represents the World Government.

The Melachim says there is a cure for leprosy- the Church House and the State House need to agree on a stellar standard of upkeep for this world and about this there must be no argument. The King of Israel has the power to enforce this standard, even one above this by Rule of Divine Law.

As we are about to read, before this happens things must start to change. Some of us will have to die even as others start to come back to life. We see this in the opening volley where Hazael, "the new vision" murders the old. This demonstrates the end game of the Melachim like the Torah and the rest of the Tanakh which is always Damascus, the "Full turn":

Hazael Murders Ben-Hadad

7 Elisha went to Damascus, and Ben-Hadad king of Aram was ill. When the king was told, “The man of God has come all the way up here,” 8 he said to Hazael, “Take a gift with you and go to meet the man of God. Consult the Lord through him; ask him, ‘Will I recover from this illness?’”

9 Hazael went to meet Elisha, taking with him as a gift forty camel-loads of all the finest wares of Damascus. He went in and stood before him, and said, “Your son Ben-Hadad king of Aram has sent me to ask, ‘Will I recover from this illness?’”

10 Elisha answered, “Go and say to him, ‘You will certainly recover.’ Nevertheless,[a] the Lord has revealed to me that he will in fact die.” 11 He stared at him with a fixed gaze until Hazael was embarrassed. Then the man of God began to weep.

12 “Why is my lord weeping?” asked Hazael.

“Because I know the harm you will do to the Israelites,” he answered. “You will set fire to their fortified places, kill their young men with the sword, dash their little children to the ground, and rip open their pregnant women.”

13 Hazael said, “How could your servant, a mere dog, accomplish such a feat?”

“The Lord has shown me that you will become king of Aram,” answered Elisha.

14 Then Hazael left Elisha and returned to his master. When Ben-Hadad asked, “What did Elisha say to you?” Hazael replied, “He told me that you would certainly recover.” 

15 But the next day he took a thick cloth, soaked it in water and spread it over the king’s face, so that he died. Then Hazael succeeded him as king.

"The verb חזה (haza) means to see or behold. Noun חזה (hozeh) means seer or visionary.

Nouns חזות (hazot), חזות (hazut), חזיון (hizzayon) and מחזה (mahazeh) mean vision, anything between the mere act of seeing to experiencing a prophetic apparition.

The noun מחזה (meheza) literally describes a place or instrument of vision and is the word for window.

It may be that the verb חזה (haza) originated in the idea of being or looking forward, which would explain the noun חזה (hazeh), which describes the breast of an animal. It may also be that this noun derives from a second verb חזה (haza), to be in front."

The dying King of Aram "the elevated place" tells a servant, "the new vision" to take a gift, a question or a prayer to the Prophet Elisha, who represents economic independence. This is the same thing as a Crown or a President requesting legislation of lawmakers intended to keep an economy liquid. In this case it is spiritual request, but as with the government there is a stable nearly failsafe science we use for managing our debts and capitalizing on our advantages.

The Visionary takes Forty Camels laden with wares from Damascus, meaning he gathers his pupils and tramples on over to see Elisha. These represent the Forty Years in the desert. Each one contains an object lesson from the Torah, but together, they represent the end point of the decision process and maturation of the faculties that result in the Full Turn. Societies like persons undertake the sojourn called the Forty Camels.

"Forty, then, represents both the completion of the previous level, and leaving it behind, nullifying it (R. Zeira "forgetting" the Babylonian Talmud; the flood lasting forty days), and forty also represents the inauguration and structuring of a new existence (the Torah given in forty days, the development of the fetus, and so forth).

The moment of emptiness contains the seeds of the ascent to a higher level. Like the moon, to which the Jewish people are compared, the cycle of waning is followed by a waxing. Jewish history has had many moments of emptiness, darkness and loss, but just as the moon is renewed monthly after its seeming disappearance, the Jewish people are ever renewed, ever reborn.

Rav Avraham Isaac Kook, the great twentieth century Jewish leader and mystic wrote of this constant renewal as key to the life of Jews and Judaism:

In the Jewish view, then, getting older is also getting newer. And turning forty is indeed growing up — an ascent to a higher level. The popular saying that life begins at forty is right. Forty signifies not a period of decline, nor should it be cause for regret. It is, instead, both a completion and a new beginning, a retrospective understanding and a prospective passage to a higher level, an emptiness in the middle and the foundation of an entirely new existence.7"

The process culminates when the Vision replaces the old king and becomes the new reality. We are terrified of this, of life without King Charles or the Republicans and their cruelty and superstitious crap, we are scared more of Vladimir Putin and man of extreme hate and deadly means to demonsrate it. Fear and Vision are at odds with each other, however. The supremacy of the one over the other is determined by what happens to our Forty Camels.

As far as the Republicans go, guys, seriously, try having sex with someone that has their pubes for a change. It's completely legal, most of the time, and who knows, you might actually enjoy it.

The Values in Gematria for the above verses are:

v. 7-8: The Value in Gematria is 11069, יא אֶפֶסו‎ט, "oh Ephesus". To require change and evolution from ourselves and our governors is meet and right to do. Things cannot stay how they are.

v. 9: The Value in Gematria is 9837, טחגז‎, tahgaz, "support comes from underneath."

I mentioned it is the job of the Crown or President to pressure society to evolve from the top down, but the Tanakh and the Gospels insist this takes place from the bottom up. Corruption automatically ends when we invest in the masses at the bottom of the human carnivory food chain.

We are deeply prejudiced and hateful of poor people when they are if managed properly by government investment the most lucrative source of new income bar none an economic system can ever experience.

Poor people do not buy houses, food, furniture, cars, internet, computers, clothes, cologne, or go to concerts, hotels, restaurants, movies or sporting events. As you read above, it is the government's job to mint money [as opposed to collecting taxes] that performs in the name of God. Support of the poor is the most important work that can be done in His Name.

We think it is diffcult or ugly to end poverty but the moment the relief of poverty begins, the world becomes a better, more attractive place not the opposite. It takes up to one generation's college graduation to end the poverty cycle of the generation prior. It takes a long time, which is why the relief of poverty is always on the urgent side. And it is immensely profitable for the private sector, another reason to be urgent about the relief of poverty.

v. 10-11: Elisha embarrasses the Visionary. What does this mean? To have a vision is not enough. It must be well thought out, especially if one wants to care for others as in the case of the position of the King or the King's Court or the government. No tinkerbells allowed please.

The Value in Gematria is 13405, יגדאֶפֶסה‎‎, yagadafesa, "uncover the truth, understand, and speak of it, but well beyond the theory of the mind."

v. 12: The carnage mentioned here has to do with the abrupt changes to social custom that take place once policy is implemented. The end of segregation, the legalizing of abortion, marriage equality, all of these things caused people to absolutely lose their shit in spite of the fact nothing really changed except for the persons who found themselves suddenly protected from violence and discrimination.

Anything we can do to end violence is of God and must be respected as if it were of God even when the Act originates from within the government.

The Value in Gematria is 14748, חדז‎יד, hadzaid, "create sharp fear of the ego." We are terrified of enforcing anti-discrimination laws because they are viewed as unpopular. This suggests social pressure can be used to incite legal violence against others and that is not correct. A crown or Chief Executive that draws the hardest of lines against violence in his nation is always right and his people, who want to act like savages are always in the wrong. This is the lesson of Noah and the Ark. A fan favorite but no one pays a bit of attention to it.

v. 13: A supposed dog becomes a king....the Value in Gematria is 9374, טג‎ז‎ד‎, the 13th. This refers to the 13th Tribe of Israel, which is "everyone else."

"The thirteenth gate is for the individual who does not know from which of the twelve tribes he originates. Since he does not know which gate to use, [he can use this one] to enter the King's courtyard. This thirteenth gate also parallels the thirteenth Attribute of Mercy, which is "and cleanses".

There is room for everyone in every legal way on this planet. It is the duty of the King and Court of the Assembly of Israel to ensure every legal way to include every person in God's Graces is pursued.

v. 14: And here it is, the Recovery: the Value in Gematria is 10206, יךו‎, "the hit." The Hebrew word for "hit" is miktal:

Noun – miktal pattern, masculine. celestial body, star (biblical); lighting; brightness, glow. This essentially means it will not be a coincidence if one attempts to confront society about its wickedness and it actually accepts the need to repent, atone, and become clean once again.

v. 15: The Value in Gematria is 6312, וג‎אב‎, "and gab." "create a cistern."

The cistern is the community of Godly men and their offspring who conserve the knowledge obtained from the Torah. Ours leaks all over the place. We are not learning from the past, we are not testing new ways or introducing all that many new vantage points over our problems.

It's the same thing over and over- abortions, gay sex, gay marriage, drag queens, and all the goddam praying. The laws we have enacted have changed all of this. People are allowed to get married to another adult of their choice. They can wear dresses, they can plan their own families without fear of outside interference.

The big changes, the water which will populate the cistern is illustrated in the above passage where Elisha tells the Future Vision, "you are a dog now but you will be the king."

We have all we need to survive and succeed except we pay no homage to any of it. Humanity has instead come to show tremendous reverence for dirty diapers like Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin and they will never, ever return the favor.

[deafmangoes]

I actually don't agree with that, and it's tied up with the whole idea of whether or not tranmisandry is its own thing (which in my opinion, it does not, as I shall demonstrate):

Hear me out here: No trans person is exempt from transmisogyny. When targeted at trans women, it's a mixture of cis-misogyny (that is, hatred of women), transphobia and homophobia (which are also forms of misogyny).

Both homo- and transphobia have roots in patriarchal systems of masculinity and femininity. Homophobia is targeted at men who do not act "masculine" enough, women who do not act "feminine" enough, and a range of other similar acts of hatred that all exist to reinforce patriarchal norms. Transphobia is much the same, only more specifically targeted.

That is: all transphobia is homophobic, and all homophobia is ultimately misogynistic in character.

Therefore, even passing trans men still experience and are subjected to transmisogyny. They are not exempt, although they are less likely to be targeted as frequently as non-passing trans men, trans women, intersex and non-binary folks.

After all, trans men also enjoy male privilege - and this is an important thing to understand about intersectionality: all people share a mixture of privileges and disadvantages. While trans men can and do experience transmisogyny, they are also capable of being misogynistic. (And remember: women are capable of it, too).

Sometimes even us trans women end up "enjoying" male privilege: just today I was able to talk down my wife's shitty boss because I still use my natural voice, and over the phone I'm read as male, regardless. I don't particularly like that, but at times it can be useful to be heard.

So yeah, to wrap things up: the categories TMA and TME are... not useful. It would be better to describe people by their likelihood of being targeted: which is lower for trans men, but certainly not non-existent. You're right that it doesn't give any further information about a person's AGAB, but not because men are exempt: because none of us are.

i dont get why transmascs say tme and tma are "the new afab and amab" like if you're a man you're tme regardless of your agab so how are they telling me anything private about you......

[shreddedparchment]

A Wife for Thor Pt.22

Obstacle

04/08/2021

Pairing: King!Thor x Reader          Word Count: 5,413

Warnings: angst, jealousy, marital problems, pregnancy, allusions to cheating (no actual infidelity), fluff, smug Loki

A/N: It took me SO long to get this chapter down. I wrote literally like a few sentence a day for a bit and then finally got some good chunks out. This has been a tough week but this chapter makes it all worth it! I hope y’all think so too. A lot of good stuff happens in this chapter, as in stuff that I really like. If you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work!

Please DO NOT repost my stories on any other sites or blogs.

REBLOGS are always welcome!

The shuffle around the palace as Loki escorts you through the front gate is overwhelming.

It’s safe to say that judging by your reception when you’d shown up in Heimdall’s tower located on the far side of the city, the Asgardians are happy to see you.

Armod is also happy to see you and you rush to get into your car before you can get swarmed by eager Asgardians.

Loki joins you in the back seat and lets Armod gush over his happiness at seeing you back home and healthy. And pregnant! More than anything, the people are happy to see the swell of your belly.

Many of the women are crying as you step out of the car at the palace gate, the men cheering enthusiastically.

Some of the children have found flower petals to throw into the air and it rains white, pink, and yellow blossoms.

It's the small waving hand of a little girl with ebony floor length braids that tugs too hard on your heartstrings and you give in to your impulse.

“Armod, stop the car, I’d like to greet the people,” you ask, swayed further by the eager faces of the young girl's siblings who flank her..

As much as being Queen had come unexpectedly and as much work as it's been, loving the Asgardians has never been a challenge and you've missed your people.

Their kindness has always been the best part of your day.

Armod gives Loki a quick look but stops the car just as the palace gates are opening.

He pulls over to the side, putting it in park before hurrying out to open the door for you.

“Are you sure?” Loki checks, reaching over to place his hand over yours on the seat.

“Of course. I owe them this. I’ve been gone for so long.”

“If you’d rather go in, we can find an excuse.”

“Loki,” you laugh once. “Is something wrong? Is there a reason I shouldn’t get out of the car?”

“Not at all,” he assures you. “I just don’t want you to force yourself. I know this pregnancy hasn’t exactly been easy on you.”

“I’m okay. And I’m sure they wanna see the proof that they have an heir coming. Really, Loki, I don't mind.”

Loki sighs, but gets out quickly to move around and take Armod’s place and offer you his arm.

Taking it, you pull yourself out, and after a long moment to steady yourself on your feet, you turn to face your people.

A large number of Valkyries suddenly pour from the open palace gateway and you wait as they line themselves in front of the gathering crowd. A simple border of control to keep you safe.

The people don’t seem threatened by the guard either and they continue to cheer until you raise your hand and call them to silence.

It only takes a few seconds for the noise to die, leaving only the ambient sounds of the city, wind, and the shuffling feet as more Asgardians and visiting humans gather.

“Hello,” you begin, voice a little shaky from nerves. “I’m...I-I’d like to start by first apologizing for disappearing. And then for being gone so long.”

The people watch and listen attentively, hanging on your every word. As your hands drop down to your belly to stroke it anxiously out of habit, their eyes are drawn to it and they seem to rattle with excitement again.

Looking down at your tummy, you contemplate the little one inside and the kicks he gave you earlier in the day.

He's really in there.

“It’s been a long journey to do what’s been expected of me. Difficult, actually. Giving you and Thor what we’ve all been hoping for is a privilege though. It's important that you all know that.

"However, I'm not as strong as all of you. I'm not as resilient. As soon as I knew that I was expecting the future prince or princess of New Asgard, I knew that I had to take precautions. I had to stop thinking like your Queen and just for a while, think like a mom. I told Thor that I wanted to take some time away from my duties as Queen if only to make sure that my pregnancy would take. In order to ensure the health of this baby.

“Im so very sorry if I caused any of you any worry or pain by disappearing. That was never my intention and it makes me...I can only say that I'm sorry. I hope that you all can understand why I left. The The thing is I’m happy to say that my efforts weren't wasted, clearly."

There's a rumble of gentle laughter that flows through the crowd and breaks the slightly somber mood your speech is causing. You give them a smile and they smile back.

"And while that does make me very happy, it has not been easy to carry this baby. I have been sick and weak but after some rest I'm now feeling stronger than ever. With the constant and careful care provided by Doctors Wilson and Alric, I’m finally able to resume my duties as Queen with the knowledge that this baby is strong and healthy and my body can take the strain of bringing him-or her into this world.

“I’m so happy to be back among my people, my home. You all are my family and it fills me with such joy to know that I have made you all proud.”

The people cheer, more and more gathering along the street so that it’s now clogged and impassable. Others have taken to peeking out of windows from the surrounding buildings or finding balconies and roofs to stand on to get a better look at you.

Their excitement changes to trepidation at the look on your face as you realize that now is the perfect time to address what happened yesterday.

They’re so attuned to your mood that they quiet down again and wait nervously for you to speak.

"On a more serious note, I know that many of you must have been shocked by the lies spewed onto the pages of the Watch. And I'd like to be as clear as I possibly can about my absence from the palace.

"I only left because of the concern I had for our future prince or princess. There was absolutely no other reason for my absence in our great city. While it is true that something did happen between Thor, Jane, and myself--well, I will only say that now I know that His Majesty the King of Asgard is wholly devoted to me and our family, just as he has been from the moment he accepted me as his wife.

"Not that I ever doubted it," you lie. No one needs to know how bad things are and it is true that now you know Thor is devoted to you.

So, it's not completely a lie.

"As a people," you continue. "We'll need to be vigilant about the people we choose to trust to come into our homes. We will be more cautious now, and as a woman…"

You swallow hard, thinking about the words itching on the tip of your tongue to tumble forward and make your heart clear. Maybe it's not right to say it? Maybe it isn't the queenly thing to do?

You don't care.

"As a wife and a soon-to-be mother, I will say that Doctor Jane Foster is not welcome in my home. She has proven to be unworthy of the trust we placed in her and while her expertise is an invaluable commodity that I am sad to lose, I would rather have the second best than risk the stability of my family."

To your surprise, there are a flutter of approving nods and smiles, wives and husband's looking scandalized by the confirmation that something went down but clearly it was Thor that had Jane kicked out. A few cheers come but they quiet down quickly.

"My love for His Majesty is unwavering. As is his for me. No marriage can be without it's struggles but Thor and I are as united as we have ever been. Both in love, devotion, to each other and you, our people. Together we will strive to protect this kingdom to the best of our abilities and with this child, I hope we can begin to lay down proper roots for us so that everyone on Earth will know that New Asgard is here to stay."

The crowd cheers. It's deafening and your hands are trembling so terribly even clenched into fists they shake.

"LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!" someone shouts and the others fall into the chant as it's picked up by what sounds like everyone in the crowd.

A cool hand presses against the center of your back and you lean towards him as he whispers in your ear.

"That was beautifully done, Y/N," Loki admires. "Now come along. You need your rest."

You cradle your bump and the crowd cheers louder as you wave while Loki leads you back into the car.

As it pulls away from the curb, the Valkyrie turn to follow behind you. Faces full of stern pride. Their gleaming armor shining bright in the late afternoon sun.

The large wooden and steel reinforced gates of the palace close with a thundering clatter and you lean back, heart suddenly clenching painfully. Your stomach turns and you feel like you might throw up.

You shut your eyes and open the window allowing the cooling air to help drive your nausea away.

"Y/N? You alright?" Loki checks, putting his hand on your arm.

"I'm fine," you assure him, unwilling to open your eyes.

"Are you sure? Only, you're looking a little green."

That doesn't actually happen does it? Do people look green when they're gonna throw up?

You assume he's exaggerating, but as the last bit of the swirl in your belly passes, you look at him with fearful eyes.

"I'm nervous," you admit.

"To see Thor?"

"Mm," you nod.

"He's missed you. He will probably try and hug you. Might even kiss you."

"I don't know if I can handle that, Loki."

"You'll have to. The guards around the palace are sworn to secrecy about anything that happens in here, but with the amount of information that magazine was able to get we're pretty sure there's a mole amongst our number."

You look away from him, frowning because the last thing you want is to hug and kiss Thor.

Well, that is, you really want to do those things. Which is why you shouldn't. Not until you can be around him with some kind of rational thought and control over your feelings.

You need to get a grip and come to terms with the reality of your situation before you can let yourself love hum.

You have to protect yourself.

It turns out that you have nothing to worry about.

Estrid who had come before you with your things is there to greet you. A few others of the palace staff come to see you and you're welcome back with fondness.

Because you know you have to play the part, you look for him.

"His Majesty had a sudden summons from the Lady Sif and the Warriors Three, my Queen. He apologizes for missing your arrival but he's had the small dining room filled with all of your favorites.

"When you are finished with dinner, he has asked that you wait for him in his study."

Estrid's tone tells you she's wary for you. She wants to make sure you're okay.

The disappointment you feel gives you away not only to yourself, but everyone there to see your face fall as you caress your belly.

"A blessing in disguise?" Loki suggests in your ear for just you, but the smile on his lips says he knows better.

"He'll be back before it gets too late, Your Majesty," Estrid assures you, trying to soothe your sadness. "He promised. There’s nothing more he wants than to see you."

"I know," you smile at her, then the others before you head for the dining room, your stomach grumbling in anticipation of the foods you know are waiting.

~~~~~~~~~~

Waiting is torture. You keep trying to read your book but your attention is pulled back to the door of Thor’s study every few seconds.

You groan, dropping the book onto the desk before throwing your head back with scrunched up eyes.

How is it possible to be desperate to see someone while also dreading it?

It feels like you'll die if you don't lay eyes on Thor but also like it'll tear you to shreds if you do. There's no winning here.

You gasp as the door opens and get to your feet in the same breath.

Thor's body is rising and falling heavily with his own labored breathing. He'd been running.

To get to you? No. You can't be swayed.

"I'm here."

His declaration is soft but heavy with meaning. More than just him announcing his arrival.

"Oh, aren't you a vision," he gushes.

"Hi," you whisper, only because you can't catch your breath.

He's wearing jeans, a plain black t-shirt stretched across his bulging chest. He's even more massive than you remember. Three months away has deprived you so fully that suddenly being in his presence leaves you hungry for him.

You want him so much.

"I've missed you, desperately," he confesses. "May I greet you properly?"

You frown, so undecided.

"Or not," Thor relents. "Forgive me, I just got caught up in the moment."

Why is this so hard?

You want to feel him.

"You can greet our baby properly," you give in.

A big part of you needs to feel him and this is the only way you can give in and feel like you're still doing your best to hold strong in your resolve to get some distance.

Thor’s eye lights up and quickly finds the swell of your tummy with recognition.

"Really?"

"I will never keep you from our baby, Thor. Even if I'm not ready for things to go back to normal between us just yet."

Thor takes a half step towards you and watches you carefully for any indication that you're not comfortable with his proximity.

You sigh, head tilted to the left slightly before you hold out your hand to him, beckoning him closer.

In three long strides Thor takes your hand and stops when he's only a foot away.

"Here," you gasp.

Your heart is in overdrive. Thor’s touch is doing things to your body. There's an initial rush of butterflies in your stomach and quickly you pull Thor’s hands to the spots where your baby is kicking in response.

Thor’s body freezes. He goes rigid. He even stops breathing.

For a moment you begin to worry that maybe you've broken him, until he suddenly drops to his knees.

He swallows hard, eyes pooling as he stares at the swell of your stomach as the baby continues to kick.

“They’re really in there,” he’s so choked up about it that his voice cracks around the words.

As he speaks, the baby kicks more.

Thor laughs but then leans in to kiss your stomach over the fabric of your dress.

“We really made her,” Thor gushes.

“Her?”

He looks up at you, confused for a second before he smiles wide, “Or him. It doesn’t matter. What matters is our baby is coming.”

Your heart swells, and you’re so happy that you could float away like a hot air balloon with the warmth flooding your limbs.

This is the moment you’d dreamt of. This is the moment that had been stolen from you by Jane and her lies. This is the moment that you and Thor had both been yearning for.

He’s so caught up in it, floating through the glow of this perfect moment that he presses his lips to your tummy again two more times before he’s rising, his hand hooked behind your neck as he meets your lips as he gets to his feet.

You’re so unprepared for it, so utterly lost in this sweet exchange between him and your baby that your lips pucker on their own.

He opens his eye and yours, already open, stare into his. He looks slightly shocked to find himself kissing you but he doesn’t stop.

Instead, his expression shifts into a pained look of desire. He pulls back, his hand dropping to grip your bicep.

“I would say that I’m sorry but I have been wanting to kiss you since the moment I left you three months ago.”

You say nothing, watching him, listening. You’re searching your soul to see if this is okay with you because it feels okay. Despite the sirens blaring in your mind about the restrictions you’d set for yourself when you’d decided to come back home, your body is telling you it needs this. Your heart is painfully aching at Thor’s touch.

You’ve missed it. You’ve missed him. 

“Is this alright? I can go.”

The idea of him going now feels like the end of the world. Rationally, you know that isn’t an appropriate response to his offering to leave you be, especially when you know you asked him for space for specific reasons.

“No,” your hands grip the sides of his t-shirt tightly, holding him in place without any actual strength since compared to him, you’re as mighty as a little mouse.

You refuse to look up at him, despite the crumbling of your resolve.

“No, don’t go.”

It’s an almost involuntary shy response to your diminishing shame at losing all control after his touch. After one kiss. You should be disappointed in yourself. And part of you is. However, that part of you grows increasingly small as Thor gently takes hold of your chin and guides your gaze up until you can meet his.

“I’m sorry, cherub. I will try and be worthy of you again.”

“I know,” you admit, knowing how sorry he’s been from the moment he realized that he’d done something that hurt you badly. “I know you are.”

“Can I kiss you, cherub?”

His voice is so deep, so alluring and coaxing that you drop your gaze again, fixing it on his collarbone before slowly you nod.

His arm winds its way around your waist and he pulls you to him before dipping down and catching your lips with his again.

He pulls away after a second because the swell of your belly gets in the way, but he laughs and looks down at it.

The pleasant sound of his happiness gives you too much joy.

As you begin to smile, Thor reaches down to press one hand to the side of your stomach while he pulls you against him again and kisses you this time with more fervor.

The longer he has his lips pressed to yours, the more enthusiastic he gets until finally you’re breathless and you pull back but instead of pulling away, you wrap your arms around him and fist the back of his t-shirt,

You bury your face against his wide chest and Thor brings his hands back up to caress the sides of your face, his lips kissing the top of your head.

“I know I may not have a right to say this, but thank you for coming home. Thank you for coming back to me. I thought I’d lost you."

His arms grow a little tighter, his heart is in an absolute stampede.

You turn your head sideways so that you can listen to his heartbeat.

"This is what I'd wanted," you whimper, starting to be overcome with the emotion of being reunited with Thor and things falling into place more easily. "This is how I'd wanted us to share this moment."

Thor sighs heavily, giving you one more squeeze before he pushes you back a little so that he can look at you.

“I’m so sorry that I robbed you of that. I was a fool,” he nods, his eye intense as he stares into yours with wordless declarations piercing into you.

The memory of your speech with the people when you arrived pops into your head and now with Thor’s arms around you it all feels a little like an overreaction. The past three months feels like a distant nightmare.

Or does this feel like a dream?

“Thor,” you begin but Thor’s lips are on you again, drowning out your words.

“Oh, to hear you say my name,” he declares and kisses you again.

Your mouth opens for him and you absolutely melt against his chest as he nearly dips you in passion.

He pulls back again, “Is this real?”

He kisses you.

“You feel so good in my arms.”

He kisses you.

“Your skin is so…” but then he hums and kisses you.

He dips down and with his arms tight around your waist but also careful with the swell of your stomach, he lifts you so that you’re level with his eye.

“I love you, so much, my cherub. Thank you, thank you for coming home. Thank you.”

“I’m sorry I stayed away,” you sigh. “I need to be strong without you, Thor. I was hurt but I never stopped loving you.”

His face goes through shame, understanding, and then elation.

In a burst of subdued anger and aggression for what he put you through, you reach up and grab his shoulder. You dig your fingers in against the taut muscle then reach up to pull one of his ears.

You’re clearly not hurting him but he allows you to move his head, understanding the need to express your anger even if you’re not doing any damage.

“Never do that to me again,” you growl. “Never say that you’ll leave me. Why would you say that? Even in passing? You were so damn sure.”

“No, Y/N, I wasn’t. The moment I saw you, I knew that I could never leave you. I’m sorry. I could never even think those thoughts again.”

“You better not, or I won’t come back next time. I’ll disappear and you’ll never see me again.”

Thor takes your threat for what it is. A promise. Truth.

He shakes his head as he leans forward to press his forehead to yours, shutting his eye.

“I swear,” he begins. “On my life.”

He keeps you there, hovering over the ground with your heads together for a few minutes before he slowly lowers you to the ground. You realize it’s because he wants to stroke your belly and you take a slight step back so that he can.

He smiles, happy. It reminds you of the look your people had when you’d arrived only a hundred times as possessive and joyful.

Again, your speech intrudes on your reunion and this time, you won’t let him distract you.

“Thor,” you coax, placing your hands over his where they rest on the sides of your stomach.

“Yes, my cherub?”

He’s excessive in the affection he puts in his voice but you know that he must be floating on cloud nine after what you both went through when you made him leave you at your house.

“I-I did something and I’m not sure if it was right of me to do it,” you watch his brow wrinkle and for a split second you almost lose yourself in the beauty of his face.

Has he always been this handsome?

“When I got back I kinda made a speech? Everyone was so happy to see me and to see me carrying our heir and I wanted to apologize to them for leaving and for making them worry. I wanted to share in their excitement for the baby and with that stupid tabloid having come out yesterday-”

“Right, the article,” there’s guilt in his voice despite there being no truth to the rumors it printed.

“I wanted to put their minds at ease and I...I did confirm that something happened with Jane but not what they were thinking.”

Thor’s expression hardens just a tad and he pulls backs towards a large armchair. He grabs your hand though and pulls you along with him until he can sit and then carefully attempts to offer you his lap, unsure if you’ll sit.

You do, because you’re tired and because you’re not eager to be away from him again. Now that you’re touching him, you’re not in a hurry to change that again.

“What did you say exactly?”

Swallowing hard, you lick your lips nervously, “Um...I told them the truth. Not exactly the truth, but enough of it that they’ll understand that Jane isn’t welcome here. I said that the only reason I left is for my health and the health of the baby, which is true. I didn’t want them to worry about us because even if we didn’t reconcile, I want us to be united for them at least.

“But I don’t trust Jane, Thor. Not after what she did. Not after how she treated me when you weren’t looking, and the people need to know that I will protect them from anyone, no matter who they are to you or me.”

Thor’s face grows pained as you speak, his arm wrapping around your waist as his other hand caresses the side of your stomach. You’re starting to realize that it’s going to be hard to get his hands off it, but that doesn’t seem like a terrible problem.

“I wish you had told me that she’d been rude to you,” Thor sighs, taking his hand off of his stomach to stroke your cheek. “If I had known-”

“She wasn’t rude to me Thor, she dismissed me. I wasn’t even worth acknowledging to her and now I know it’s because she was jealous and wanted you back because what? She saw what we had together and suddenly it was good enough for her?

“I was in her way. That’s all I was. Even if in the end she couldn’t go through with it whether it was because she felt guilty for doing this to us or for lying or for having second thoughts and knowing that she doesn’t want to be Queen or a mom, she’s a bad person to me. And I have every right to protect myself, my baby, and our marriage from her. She’s not welcome here Thor. I never want to see her again. Ever.”

He’s cradling you now, holding you close because the intensity with which you're telling him that Jane is not welcome in your home is transferring to him.

“And if you’d known, you wouldn’t have done anything, Thor. You’d probably have talked to her and asked her what was going on and she would have lied to you and you would have believed her.”

He doesn’t deny it. He does look like it hurts him to know that you know though. That’s enough for you.

“I think it took her lying and doing this to us to make you see what she’s capable of.”

Thor shuts his eye, resting his head against your chest as he wraps his arms around you again.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are, Thor. But you weren’t the one who lied. I mean, you didn’t tell me what was happening, but you weren’t the reason that this happened. If Jane hadn’t lied-”

“But she did,” Thor says, his deep voice anguished. “And I failed to honor my vows. You are my Queen and I should have come to you the moment she told me she was pregnant.”

You both fall into silence as you reach over to stroke his bicep. His skin is so soft. Touching it gives you comfort in a way you weren’t aware you needed. The more you touch it the more you need to feel it.

A finger stroking his skin turns into two, then four, then your entire hand is running up under the sleeve of his t-shirt.

With the way his hand curls around your thigh, you know that both your bodies are responding to your touch. Both of you are heated but instead of giving into that because you aren’t ready for that yet, you lay your head on his shoulder and curl in closer to his chest.

Thor sighs heavily, wrapping you up in his arms as he cradles you close.

“Now we know better,” you whisper.

“Now I know what losing you will do to me,” Thor agrees. “I’ve missed you so much, cherub.”

You don’t respond. You’re too choked up to say anything without your voice cracking so both of you stay like that for a while.

The cocoon of Thor’s arms is toasty and from the exhaustion you’re feeling plus all of the emotions that have drained you, your eyes are heavy and difficult to keep open.

“What about you?”

Thor’s chest rumbles with a chuckle.

“We can talk more tomorrow, cherub. Sleep.”

“I’m not sleepy,” you lie.

“Very well, then. What about me?”

“You’re sleepy?” you look up at him, full of concern.

He chuckles again, “No, cherub. What were you asking?”

“Oh! I just wanted to know if you’re okay. What Jane did to you can’t have been easy. Despite what she did to us as a couple, she said she was pregnant. You’ve been wanting a baby for so long and she dangled that in front of you like the rat that she is. And then she wasn’t even pregnant?”

Thor’s arms constrict around you as he pulls you up towards him to kiss you.

It’s slow and full of emotion.

“Even after all of that, you’re still worried about me?”

“It took time,” you admit. “Once I wasn’t so angry and I thought about what Jane really did. I hate the idea that your heart broke over her lies. I can’t believe she ever loved you if she was willing to make you feel that way.”

Thor just stares at you, searching your eyes before he rubs his nose gently against your own. When he speaks, his voice is so low, so deep, an intimate whisper. It burrows into your chest and settles right there underneath your ribs and makes you breathless with missing him and desire.

“That’s why you’re my Queen, Y/N. And she is not.”

You’re not sure if it’s an Asgardian ability or if maybe it’s something specific to Thor, but he has a way of making you swoon.

“I missed you so much,” he confesses again, that whisper sinful. “Did you not miss me?”

You nod because you can’t speak. There’s a lump in your throat made of both sadness and want.

“Was your bed as frigid as mine was in your absence? Did you miss my breath on your neck as I did yours? Or the steady beat of your heart when you pressed your breast to my back as you held me while I slept?”

Fuck, he’s making this so impossible.

“I hate you so much,” you counter, but his lips stretch into a small knowing smile as you take a tight hold of the neck of his shirt and pull him up to meet your lips.

He exhales heavily into you, tasting you, relishing in every pulsating touch as both your hearts ache and yearn almost in disbelief as if both of you can’t believe that these wants, these needs are finally being met.

As he pulls back to tilt his head the other way, he takes hold of the sides of your face again, his lips grazing yours, “I love you.”

Before you can reply or yank him back into that torturous yet blissful kiss, a voice at the doorway clears their throat.

“Well, that was fast, what happened to keeping him at a distance?”

Loki’s voice pulls your gaze and you can feel your cheeks and neck burn at how easily it seems you’ve crumbled when finally face to face with Thor.

You frown at your brother-in-law, while Thor ignores his brother and leans up to press very non-chaste kisses to your neck, “I told you coming back was a bad idea.”

But Loki’s smile is blinding and with one chuckle he backs out of the room, shutting the door quietly as Thor turns you back to him so that he can get back to kissing you.

[pet-genius]

The Death Eaters as a Cult - Part 3

Follow up to this and this. Trigger warning: Cult abuse.

Draco is vulnerable to being recruited simply because he’s Draco - his father is a Death Eater, and he's eager to prove himself to the master he grew up believing in. I’m not usually sympathetic to Draco, but this line makes me feel for him:

“everyone thinks he’s so smart, wonderful Potter with his scar and his broomstick —”

“You have told me this at least a dozen times already,” said Mr. Malfoy, with a quelling look at his son. “And I would remind you that it is not — prudent — to appear less than fond of Harry Potter, not when most of our kind regard him as the hero who made the Dark Lord disappear.”

This makes it clear that he’s been indoctrinated from a young age into a fringe belief (his belief in the Dark Lord, not in blood supremacy - that’s mainstream), and into hiding it, even after the cult disbanded. This contributed to a sense of isolation from mainstream society, and for someone like Draco, exacerbated his existing condescension and entitlement. The same must be true for Crabbe and Goyle, who on top of being children, are stupid and lacking in critical thinking skills, which means an escape was nearly impossible for them, and indeed, Crabbe died, and who knows if Goyle was clever enough to stay out of Azkaban.

Throughout HBP, Draco goes from boastful to scared for his life.

From DLA:

“What say you, Draco?” asked Voldemort, and though his voice was quiet, it carried clearly through the catcalls and jeers. “Will you babysit the cubs?”

The hilarity mounted; Draco Malfoy looked in terror at his father, who was staring down into his own lap, then caught his mother’s eye. She shook her head almost imperceptibly, then resumed her own deadpan stare at the opposite wall.

Once on top, now the Malfoys are too scared to make eye contact with anyone and protest at their humiliation. Draco is looking to his parents for protection, but they know they can’t provide it, even though Narcissa is trying.

Regulus was in a similar situation to Draco - I think he felt pressured to prove himself after the bitter disappointment Sirius had been. He and Draco were marked before they were of age, whatever being of age means in the wizarding world - meaning Voldemort was not above using minors. He also used children: the Daily Prophet writes that the Ministry has captured a nine year old child who had been Imperiused into murdering his family.

Snape’s vulnerability is glaring. In a nutshell, his extreme poverty and the neglect and abuse played a part in his decision to join the Death Eaters, and there’s a reason why Lucius is seen patting him on the back as soon as he is sorted. Perhaps the policy was to groom all newcomers. Like Barty, he might have looked for a father figure. Harry notices the many similarities between Snape and Voldemort (and himself), and these are all things Voldemort must have used on young Snape as well.

Snape is an example of how disposable Voldemort’s followers were, to him - he sent him to Hogwarts to get the cursed DADA job, meaning he was willing to let a potentially horrible fate befall Snape within the year. Even after Snape ascended to #2 by killing Dumbledore (on Voldemort’s order, no less), Voldemort killed him to gain mastery of the wand Snape became master of by doing Voldemort’s bidding.

Snape also explains the Dark Mark

“There,” said Snape harshly. “There. The Dark Mark. It is not as clear as it was an hour or so ago, when it burned black, but you can still see it. Every Death Eater had the sign burned into him by the Dark Lord. It was a means of distinguishing one another, and his means of summoning us to him. When he touched the Mark of any Death Eater, we were to Disapparate, and Apparate, instantly, at his side.”

A famous cult in my country did this: The leader made his followers tattoo pictures of him and his name on their body. It’s this association that originally made me think of the Death Eaters as a cult. Voldemort branded his followers like cattle, and he expected them to drop everything they’re doing to run to him whenever he wants.

Snape was constantly tested, too. He was assigned a servant he despised, for one, and tasked with killing Dumbledore. Even after he had accomplished that, Voldemort did not fully trust him:

“Yaxley. Snape,” said a high, clear voice from the head of the table. “You are very nearly late.”

This is a threat, since they’re not actually late; I think it’s meant as a “hey, remember when I tortured you once for being late?” It is followed by:

“Saturday... at nightfall,” repeated Voldemort. His red eyes fastened upon Snape’s black ones with such intensity that some of the watchers looked away, apparently fearful that they themselves be scorched by the ferocity of the gaze. Snape, however, looked calmly back into Voldemort’s face and, after a moment or two, Voldemort’s lipless mouth curved into something like a smile.

Voldemort is using Legilimency - he still does not trust Snape, he still needs to interrogate him so carefully that the others are afraid to look.

Next, there is this:

“Do you recognize our guest, Severus?” asked Voldemort. Snape raised his eyes to the upside-down face. All of the Death Eaters were looking up at the captive now, as though they had been given permission to show curiosity.

That the Death Eaters all knew not to look up at the gruesome sight without permission, goes to show, again, how fun it must have been to be a Death Eater. In general, I think the best way to read “Dark Lord Ascending” is to pay attention to where people are looking, and how - it’s important in general, but especially in this chapter.

Lucius is an anomaly. It’s very hard to picture him kneeling, and there is no obvious reason why he should forfeit his dignity. Cults don’t typically target the elite, and in this, the Death Eaters are a bit strange, unless Lucius was also recruited at a young, impressionable age. This can be resolved if you consider that Voldemort is the Heir of Slytherin, and unlike cult leaders, he really is super-powerful, and the person with the most potential to achieve political goals the Malfoy family is interested in.

Privileged as he was, even Lucius had vulnerabilities, and Voldemort was a Legilimens, meaning it was very easy for him to tell what they were.

This is how he treats Lucius in DLA:

“As I was saying,” continued Voldemort, looking again at the tense faces of his followers, “I understand better now. I shall need, for instance, to borrow a wand from one of you before I go to kill Potter.”

The faces around him displayed nothing but shock; he might have announced that he wanted to borrow one of their arms.

“No volunteers?” said Voldemort. “Let’s see... Lucius, I see no reason for you to have a wand anymore.”

How… emasculating.

Lucius Malfoy looked up [so he was looking down until then]. His skin appeared yellowish and waxy in the firelight, and his eyes were sunken and shadowed. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse.

“My Lord?”

Lucius looks like he’s been through a lot. Also, since this scene takes place in the middle of July, why is there a fire? I’m theorizing that it’s for Nagini, or perhaps Voldemort is cold-blooded now, but in any case, he doesn’t care about the others’ comfort level. Maybe he even wants them to sweat.

“Your wand, Lucius. I require your wand.”

“I...”

Malfoy glanced sideways at his wife. She was staring straight ahead, quite as pale as he was, [...] At her touch, Malfoy put his hand into his robes, withdrew a wand, and passed it along to Voldemort.

Voldemort is making Lucius give him the wand himself, to reinforce his submission - he could have used magic.

“Give you my wand, Lucius? My wand?”

Some of the throng sniggered.

“I have given you your liberty, Lucius, is that not enough for you?”

Indeed, Voldemort has given Lucius his (questionable) liberty, but again, he is expecting gratitude for something Lucius would have had in the first place, were it not for him: Lucius was imprisoned because he was caught at the Department of Mysteries fighting for Voldemort.

“But I have noticed that you and your family seem less than happy of late.... What is it about my presence in your home that displeases you, Lucius?”

“Nothing — nothing, my Lord!”

“Such lies, Lucius...”

The soft voice seemed to hiss on even after the cruel mouth had stopped moving.

[...]

“Why do the Malfoys look so unhappy with their lot? Is my return, my rise to power, not the very thing they professed to desire for so many years?”

“Of course, my Lord,” said Lucius Malfoy. His hand shook as he wiped sweat from his upper lip. “We did desire it — we do.”

Remember the fire? Do you notice Lucius sweating? His hand shaking? See how terrified he is, and how awful it must be to be forced to state how much he loves being treated like that?

To Malfoy’s left, his wife made an odd, stiff nod, her eyes averted from Voldemort and the snake. To his right, his son, Draco, who had been gazing up at the inert body overhead, glanced quickly at Voldemort and away again, terrified to make eye contact.

This is what has become of the once mighty Malfoy family.

Legilimency is important - because it means Voldemort typically could spot the mere thought of defection, and manipulate it out of the offender or outright kill them. The DEs know he can read minds, and so averting your eyes could be seen as admitting to a lie, unless you avert your eyes regularly. Breaking eye contact is a gesture of submission, and if one’s body is forced into it enough, it becomes ingrained. Every mention of eye contact in Dark Lord Ascending reinforces that. Their body language in that chapter also shows how controlled they are. I believe Death Eaters are learning to occlude involuntarily, to deceive themselves into only having permissible thoughts and feelings, to ensure their own survival. This makes it impossible to escape.

Finally, there’s JKR’s statement that Snape was the only DE who could produce a Patronus. This can't be because he's not evil (Umbridge can produce a Patronus), and it can't be because he's the only DE who is more powerful than 13 year old Harry. I think it’s because they were not allowed to - I think a spell that requires you to think genuinely happy thoughts would have reminded Death Eaters that their happiness does not come from Voldemort. The rigid mind control screams "cult" to me, and I think it's a much more interesting take on them than "bunch of plot-stupid people who had somehow managed to terrorize the wizarding world despite being incompetent".

Hope you now feel the same and thanks for reading this thesis <3

[thebooki3h]

Lukadamianette Au Part 2

First Here Next

We begin where we left off, with Luka and Marinette on one of the dates Luka Planned. Just because it makes sense in this, Luka and Mari arrive a week early

Because Mari is emancipated and excused herself for the first week of school before the trip during which the class is still in France bc they just ended summer and all that jazz. also I have decided that the trip has turned into a half semester exchange program even though this doesn’t make the most sense, but the French school thought the class could use a reward and tbh they just wanted to get the Akuma class out for awhile. Also this way they aren’t in Gotham for a whole semester of senior year. The trip is planned for the first half of the first semester of senior year. I know that this doesn't make a whole lot of sense but just stick with me.

They go sight seeing and basically on a week long date bc the following week begins the Wayne sponsored exchange program and when Luka has to work for Jagged. One day they go to museums, the next the go to famous parks around Gotham (which are thriving thanks to Poison Ivy), the next they see all of the famous villain spots (which are surprisingly popular tourist destinations bc for the most part they don’t get hit twice in short periods of time) which is a good cover for studying past bat battles. They take days in between to rest and use the inspiration they gained to make new songs or clothing designs. 

They share hotel room bc Mari’s parents stopped being her parents a long time ago and lost their say and bc Jagged says they are grown up enough to be responsible for their actions (which brings a blush to their cheeks every time bc “daaaaaddddd” “uncle jaggeeedddd”)

Mari also makes it her mission to visit all of the non chain coffee shops at least once while they are there bc coffee became her best friend when she was active as ladybug. She meets Tim in almost everyone because Tim also drinks coffee obsessively. Luka is more of a tea drinker because coffee interrupts his musical thought process and tea is less harsh. Marinette drinks tea when she wants to relax but coffee is the fuel of the gods. She expresses this to Tim and that's how they become acquainted bc finally someone understands his love for coffee. They exchange numbers after they run into each other for a fourth time. (Luka silently thinks that he might have to talk to Mari about her obsession of coffee again and if there is a rehab center for coffee drinkers) Tim learns that Mari is from the exchange class very quickly based off of Luka’s French accent as well as her light French accent that is mixed with a couple things he can’t quite place.

The class arrives, Lila ofc tried to pull something to leave Mari behind and she thought she was successful so she was gloating. She ofc took credit for the whole trip claiming that she was super close to the Waynes and that she helped Damian acclimate to his new school (she actually knows that Damian didn’t start living with his father until 10 bc why not). Mrs Bustier tries to check in under both her name and Lila’s name, both of which don’t work because they are A) an hour and a half early and B) all of the reservations are under the contest winners name (they have to ok their chaperones to use their name) C)Mrs Bustier told Mari to make all of the reservations under Mari’s name anyway and she totally forgot that. 

So the sit in the lobby for an hour, Lila has the whole class riled up bc Marinette isn't there and it is al her fault that they can’t get in to their rooms. Marinette shows up with Luka 15 mins before the class was supposed to show up (they had just gotten lunch at a cafe that jagged had recommended) and she is laughing and happy, which causes the class to BLOW UP in her face. She ignores them and checks everyone into their rooms. Kagami and Chloe share a suite bc they are rich in their own right and upgraded their shared room bc they are dating and signed up to be roommates. They got this okayed by Buister in writing JIC. Marinette as the contest winner also got a suite (the room she had been staying in with Luka that she just extended the booking for)

Lila and Alya obviously make a big fuss about them getting special treatment but bustier can’t do anything because Mari won’t let her. She secretly thinks Mari is a lost cause now but she tries her best to get her to see that she has to be a role model. Mari actually planned the whole trip and she did a fucking fantastic job bc its Mari and planning something is what she is great at. She has all of the bases covered including iternerary, bookings for food, emergency contact info, health info, info on Gotham, safety procedures and the whole shebang. All of which had to be approved by  Bustier and that Bustier has copies of but totally ignored.

The next day they try to pull the let’s leave an hour early to leave behind Marinette stunt. Not only does that fail because the tour can’t start until the contest winner is there, but they arrived before Wayne tower was even open to the public. Because jagged is extra he shipped Luka and Marinette motorcycles to Gotham bc they were going to be there for a couple months, they also got special permission from Wayne enterprises to park their bikes in the employee parking structures from Tim once he heard that they rode bikes as expensive as Jason’s. So she left early from the hotel with Luka(bc she knew that Bustier would leave her behind somehow) to go meet up with Tim at a new coffee place (one of his favorites). They end up riding on their respective bikes to WE together so they can hang out before the tour. Luka goes to a recording studio to meet up with Jagged, but not before a very passionate kiss goodbye, which makes Tim blush. (Tim may not seem like the biker type but he is a bat and he lives with Jason so he not only knows how to ride a motorcycle well has one, so it may not be his favorite mode of transportation but he’ll live)

So he and Marinette walk to WE about a half an hour before the class is supposed to be there in the middle of a debate on how best to brew coffee (Mari insists its French press) and low and behold they are there yelling at the receptionist. Mari gives Tim a look that says I’m so sorry you have to see this and yes I was not exaggerating walks up to the receptionist and apologizes for what she is about to do (not for the classes actions bc fuck them they can apologize for themselves she has learned to not take responsibility for others actions and she won’t let all that work go to waste). She then proceeds to yell, much louder than someone of her stature presumably should “SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I STG I WILL BREAK JOKER OUT OF ARKHAM AND LOCK HIM IN A ROOM WITH ALL OF YOU WITHOUT FLINCHING” this is shocking to everyone, especially mrs bustier who is  scandalized  that her role model student would do something like this.

Tim had a feeling that something video worthy would happen so as soon as she walked away he started recording, and he was NOT disappointed. The video gos straight to the batfam gc and Luka immediately. He powered off his phone then he proceeds to start laughing and applauding. Upon seeing the CEO’s reaction the rest of the employees start applauding as well bc damn those kids were rude. Tim then walks up to Mari talking at a speed no one but Mari, Chloe and Kagami could understand (bc the class is not fluent in English no matter what they would tell you). Mari proceeds to blush once he informs her that he sent a video to Luka (he does not tell her about the batfam gc)

Chloe and Kagami are immediate intrigued bc this is NOT what they picture when Mari said she met someone who loves coffee as much as she does. they may be hella gay for each other but damn that man is ripped. They join the convo while the class remains befuddled bc who knew Mari even swore. in the back of his mind Nino is reminded of a young blue-eyed girl who lost playground privileges for a week bc someone made fun of his glasses and proceed to punch said someone in the nose. But he shakes it of because Mari hasn’t been like that in years. 

Bustier eventually collects herself and gently, so as not to cause an Akuma (apparently she didn't get the memo), reminds Mari that they are here for a tour and she needs to get the class their passes.  So Mari leaves her friends to get acquainted and goes up to the receptionist, to whom she apologizes for her actions again, and the receptionist replies with a laugh and a “honey, you just made my week, there's no need to apologize I should be thanking you” (she does thank Mari). Mari gets a special pass bc she’s the contest winner to which Lila and Alya (then the rest of the class for the most part) proceed to throw a hissy fit over. The receptionist is so over them though and doesn’t even blink. 

Then their tour guide shows up. (its Dick and his assistant Damian). Damian proceeds to scold the class for a solid ten mins (which coincidentally leads up to their scheduled time to start the tour). Dick slides off to talk to the receptionist and his brother who isn't working and is talking to real people for once. Just for that they are his favorite out of the class. Tim unfortunately has to go to work so they talk to Dick to get acquainted until the tour has to officially start. 

Los tres amigos are the only ones who pay attention to Dick at all (he leads the tour bc he’s been there the longest but Damian throws in a comment here or there mostly related to shenanigans his family has gotten into but overall useful facts. for example these windows are reinforced because our CEO (Tim) leaned up against one, fell asleep and fell through the window to the office below.)

The rest of the class is focused on Lila who is talking a whole bunch of nonsense about the Wayne family and how she has helped them with their business. Some things actually sound kinda legit, but Mari and Co. know that it is BS. Dick tries to bet bustier involved but she makes an excuse for Lila and goes on her phone and doesn’t really pay attention. 

Eventually the class tour turns into Dick talking to Mari, Chloe and Kagami while the class vaguely follows them. Damian doesn’t really say anything because he generally doesn’t do well talking to strangers and these girls seem ok and he is still insecure (not that he would ever admit it to anyone ) about social interaction now that he has figured out how people who weren’t raised as assassins act. That is until Dick starts talking about shenanigans that his brothers get into, and Damian jumps in correcting him because  I did not try to tackle Todd, Grayson I did tackle Todd quite successful and also Alfred won’t let you into the kitchen anymore because you almost burned down the east wing of the manor not  because he is territorial over the kitchen. And Mari hadn’t really paid attention to Damian until now but OH MY KAWAMI he is hot, and how did she talk so long to notice that. 

She ends up taking a pic of Damian without him noticing (he really doesn’t notice which is a feat in itself but Dick does and he will  be teasing Damian about it later bc obviously) and she texts it to Luka bc if she is going to freak out over his hotness she wants Luka to do so too. ( he sees the pic in the middle of recording and he ends up needing a water break bc gay panic and he really is extremely handsome. Recording gets delayed even longer bc jagged cannot pass up the opportunity to tease him son and he does so mercilessly and Mari totally knew what she was doing when she sent that picture) Luka ends up demanding that she gets Damians number or he will because that man is fine.  

Mari now knows that the stuttering idolization that she had with Adrien wasn’t really healthy and Luka likes to remind her all the time that she can be smooth when she wants to be (sometimes unintentionally but she practices on Luka because she loves to see him blush). Mari then makes it her mission to compliment Damian as much as possible so that it is crystal clear and very obvious that she is flirting with him. If he even shows a little discomfort in a negative I don’t like this kind of way she will stop because she will not make someone go through what she went through with Chat Noir and unwanted advances.

Chloe, Kagami and Dick immediately notice that she is flirting with Damian. Chloe takes a video for Luka bc she knows that he would want to see this and Dick takes a video for the Batfam gc. 

Just to be clear Mari and Luka have talked about seeing other people and maybe adding a third person to their relationship as long as they talk about it. that line of communication was opened when Mari sent a pic of Damian to Luka and when Luka asked for his number that was his “go ahead” for her to flirt with Damian. Lila doesn’t understand how that works and neither do the rest of the class so that is a point of contention between the class and Mari. She would NEVER cheat on Luka, she loves him and he is the most important person to her in the world. Something that Juleka understands (she just doesn’t like Mari bc of Lila she knows how polyamory works this is why her and Luka aren't as close as they used to be)

Moving on... the batfam gc blows up for a second time that day and so when the class goes to the cafeteria Tim just has to see this for himself. Mari tries not to be obnoxious in her flirting so she compliments Damians intelligence by asking him questions that weren't included in the tour, and she asks him about his interests and is like that must have taken a lot of time to perfect you must be very dedicated. Damian isn’t used to genuine compliments especially from strangers so he is very flustered by it but he makes no indication for her to stop. 

The day winds down and the class has some free time before they have to go to dinner but the do have to leave the tower. Mari does actually get Damians number (he thinks she must be very well trained to get his number that quick bc he refuses to accept that he gave it to her because he likes her) Mari promises to ft him later bc he promised to let her meet his dog and she doesn’t want to wait until the class has dinner at the manor to see Titus.

First Here Next

Taglist

@dood-space

@toodaloo-kangaroo

Also I’m not very sure about how to go back and edit posts to link new parts so if anyone knows how to do that please comment or message me because I would love to learn!

[deniigi]

ok i agree 100% with like. all of ur points on the devildad ask and i am not making excuses but i think like almost all of the people who write devildad (fron my experience of it on ao3) have not read the comics, and if they did only the like. main marvel ones and not daredevil if that makes sense ?? like i can count on one hand the amount of people ive cone across who know who sam is while scuttling around on ao3 and i think that plays a big part in why its so... prevalent ig?? i feel like mist of the devildad content ive seen is fron people way more into the mcu side and focused on the films and that theyre an entirely different subculture within the marvel fandon of lack of a better descriptor . like its a conpletely different group of people ive seen who write nuclear family father figure matt and 90% of then dont really have a grasp on who matt is as a person in the way that people whove read the comics and watched the netflix shows more than theyve watched the films do and idk i think its so fadcinating how the same character can be used and interpreted in such different ways. in my brain ive divorced every single iteration of a character in individual fics fron who they are by themselves bc its so wildly inconsistent and sometimes so downright different from how i experience the character that i have to quit the tab and cry a little bit

Hey Anon, sorry I struggled a little with what you were saying here and needed a second opinion so that I didn’t misunderstand you.

I think that it is reasonable to say that yes, the folks writing Devildad are not aware of Matt’s many characterizations in media and yes, they almost certainly don’t know who Sam is.

And I get that. I didn’t know who Sam was and I also didn’t read any comics when I first started writing Matt and Peter.

I can see how fanon version of characters, too, differ so much from canon ones that they become unrecognizable as those characters, and that there comes a point where, to read anything about them, you have to suspend your disbelief.

However while I agree that that’s a great analysis of the situation, I don’t think it’s a good reason to let those folks off the hook, if that makes sense?

Like, when I found out about Sam, I stopped writing Peter and Matt getting closer into a mentor-mentee relationship out of respect for the fact that there were other people whose stories needed telling.

I understand that you don’t know what you don’t know until its staring you in the face, but I think that we all have a responsibility to think when we are creating media--to really think--about what stories we are telling, how we are telling them, and what messages they are reinforcing.

So when I say I don’t like Devildad, it’s not about shaming those folks who do like it or who are writing it; it’s rather about me using my privilege of A) having an audience, B) being white passing and C) having knowledge of alternative narrative lenses to help others think differently about what they are writing/consuming and what broader effects those actions may have on the stories that get told and who benefits from them.

In the case of neglecting to look into Sam’s story, Devildad becomes an issue of erasure for people of color. In the case of woobifying Peter, Devildad becomes an issue of ageism. And in the case of people misunderstanding what roles people can play in ‘found families,’ Devildad becomes an issue of replicating rigid, patriarchal dynamics (what I mean here is that by assigning people roles in a ‘family’ structure, people are in fact saying that anyone who comes from a family that does not replicate those structures does not have a ‘real’ family. There is classism, racism, ageism, and ableism associated with this.)

Sorry this is a long response to you trying to advocate for folks who don’t know any better, and I appreciate you defending them. But I think I’m also advocating for the other side of that equation too!

asd;ajds;kfjasdfsd f that clears nothing up sorry sorry thank you for the ask, though! You’re very kind to other humans that’s super sweet of you.

[alarajrogers]

Yeah, I agree with all this.

I feel like, and I might get cancelled for this, but: if you want to analyze gendered oppression, you have to treat trans men and cis men as if they are, in essence, two separate genders. Both are men. Both are real men. But one has privilege from birth and is raised with a lot of baked in assumptions and is also quite possibly being marinated in toxic masculinity, which they are, usually, given no motive to challenge, and the other has no gendered privilege that doesn't come from passing (and passing "privilege" is really no privilege at all) and is, in fact, actively oppressed.

The thing is that cis men are trained by toxic masculinity to challenge the maleness of anyone in their orbit who presents as male. And males who do not live up to the challenge are oppressed. Sometimes violently. Sometimes fatally. Cis women can participate in this to some extent but it's mostly pushed by cis men. So if you do not successfully tick off every "male" box, cis men will attack you. This is why trans women are not, despite what TERFs say, "socialized" as men: they live in an environment where they are, very often, not masculine at all, or not masculine by choice, and yet surrounded by little piranhas who will tear them apart for not being manly enough. They never have the opportunity to develop the full range of male privilege because they know they aren't male, and they have to live in fear that other men will find out. (I mean, this does not describe the experiences of every trans woman 100%, but it describes enough of them that it's laughable to say they are socialized as male. Males are socialized to despise everything about being female. Any man who doesn't performatively display disgust with being feminine risks being torn apart by cis boys as a child. People who think they are boys but are drawn to the feminine are gonna get shit for it.)

And, in a world where gay men aren't "male" enough for these guys, and sometimes smart men who aren't physically strong aren't "male" enough, and sometimes men who don't performatively despise women aren't male enough, and definitely men with small penises, castrated men, and impotent men aren't "male" enough, it should be obvious that trans men will never be "male" enough as long as cis men know they're trans! Being the target of violence by your own gender for not being enough that-gender-like more or less prevents you from ever sharing in the full privileges and identity of that gender. So how could trans men ever possibly have the same privileges cis men do? This is like pretending cis het men aren't ever homophobic and gay cis men have all the same privileges as het ones.

Declaring that trans men and trans women are not separate genders from cis men and cis women might have been important at one time, to reinforce that no, a trans man is not "man lite", he is not an uwu softboi (unless he is, but don't pin that on all trans men), he is genuinely a man. But, I mean, gay cis men are genuinely men and still face homophobia and gay-bashing. By pretending that the modifier "trans" doesn't do anything significant to gender, we actually do enormous damage to our ability to analyze gendered oppression.

(We also need to understand that cis het women are not only oppressors of trans men and women, not only oppressors of gay men and women... sometimes they are active oppressors of cis het women. 51% of the population will never be a united front. Many women have attempted to establish power in a sexist society by enforcing the sexist power structure against other women. CF Amy Barrett Corey, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert... and before them, Phyllis Schafly. And many others. You cannot just assume that cis women are safe with cis women. In fact in general attempting to determine whether a person is "safe" knowing nothing about them but their gender, cis/trans status and sexual orientation, is probably always a bad idea.)

ngl any time a cis woman says "female/non-binary" I am receiving major "cis women don't hold any power over trans people" vibes.

[reading-writing-revolution]

Heather Cox Richardson

October 4, 2021 (Monday)

“hello literally everyone,” the official account of Twitter tweeted this afternoon, after Facebook and its affiliated platforms Instagram and WhatsApp went dark at about 11:40 this morning. The Facebook outage lasted for more than six hours and appears to have been caused by an internal error. But the void caused by the absence of the internet giant illustrated its power at a time when the use of that power has come under scrutiny.

In mid-September, the Wall Street Journal began to publish a series of investigative stories based on documents provided by a whistle-blower.

The “Facebook Files” explore how the company has “whitelisted” high-profile users, exempting them from the rules that put limits on ordinary users. Another article reveals that researchers showed Facebook executives evidence that Instagram damages teenage girls by pushing an ideal body image and that they flagged the increasing use of the site by drug smugglers, human traffickers, and other criminals; their discoveries went unaddressed.

Concerned about declining engagement with their material, Facebook allegedly privileged polarizing material that engaged people by preying on their emotions. It appeared to have encouraged the extremism that led to the January 6 insurrection, lowering restrictions against disinformation quickly after the 2020 election.

Last night, on CBS’s 60 Minutes, former Facebook employee Frances Haugen revealed herself to be the source of the documents. She is concerned, she says, that Facebook consistently looks to maximize profits even if it means ignoring disinformation. Her lawyers have filed at least eight complaints with the Securities and Exchange Commission, which oversees companies and financial markets. Facebook’s vice president of global affairs, Nick Clegg, said it was “ludicrous” to blame Facebook for the events of January 6. Chief executive officer Mark Zuckerberg and chief operating officer Sheryl Sandberg have not commented.

Lawmakers have repeatedly asked Facebook to produce documents for their scrutiny and to testify about the social media platform’s public safeguards. Tomorrow, Haugen will testify before the Senate Subcommittee on Consumer Protection, Product Safety, and Data Security about the effects of social media on teenagers. Her lawyer, Andrew Bakaj, told Cat Zakrzewski and Cristiano Lima of the Washington Post that Haugen’s information is important because “Big Tech is at an inflection point…. It touches every aspect of our lives—whether it’s individuals personally or democratic institutions globally. With such far-reaching consequences, transparency is critical to oversight, and lawful whistleblowing is a critical component of oversight and holding companies accountable.”

Amidst the outrage over the Facebook revelations, technology reporter Kevin Roose at the New York Times suggested that the company’s aggressive attempts to court engagement reveal weakness, rather than strength, as younger users have fled to TikTok and other sites and Facebook has become the domain of older Americans. He notes that Facebook’s researchers foresee a drop of 45% in daily use in the next two years, suggesting that the company is desperate either to retain users or to create new ones.

While the technology Facebook represents is new, the concerns it raises echo public discussion of late nineteenth century industrialization, which was also the product of new technologies. At stake then was whether the concentration of economic power in a few hands would destroy our democracy by giving some rich men far more power than the other men in the country. How could the nation both preserve the right of individuals to build industries and preserve the concept of the common good in the face of technology that permitted unprecedented accumulations of wealth?

While money is certainly at stake in the issue of Facebook’s power today, the more pressing issue for our country is whether social media giants will destroy our democracy through their ability to spread disinformation that sows division and turns us against one another.

When we began to grapple with the excesses of industrialism, lots of people thought the whole system needed to be taken apart—by violence if necessary—while others hoped to save the benefits the technology brought without letting it destroy the country. Americans eventually solved the problems that industrialization raised for democracy by reining in the Wild West mentality of the early industrialists, protecting the basic rights of workers, and regulating business practices.

The leaked Facebook documents suggest there are places where the disinformation at Facebook could be reined in as the overreaches of industrialization were. When Zuckerberg tried to promote coronavirus vaccines on the site, anti-vaxxers undermined his efforts. But one document showed that “out of nearly 150,000 posters in Facebook Groups disabled for Covid misinformation, 5% were producing half of all posts, and around 1,400 users were responsible for inviting half the groups’ new members.” Researchers concluded: “We found, like many problems at FB, this is a head-heavy problem with a relatively few number of actors creating a large percentage of the content and growth.”

“I don’t hate Facebook,” Haugen wrote in a final message to her colleagues at the company. “I love Facebook. I want to save it.”

While most Americans were busy watching Facebook crash—the falling stock took between $5 billion and $7 billion of Zuckerberg’s net worth—drama in Washington, D.C., was an even bigger deal.

Los Angeles Times reporter Sarah D. Wire noted that the rioters who broke into the Capitol on January 6 ran more than 100 feet past 15 reinforced windows, “making a beeline” to four windows that had been left unreinforced in a renovation of the building between 2017 and 2019. They found the four windows, located in a recessed part of the building, Wire wrote, “by sheer luck, real-time trial and error, or advance knowledge by rioters.”

The Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack on the United States Capitol will likely look into this oddity.

The committee has begun to take testimony from cooperative witnesses. Observers expect fireworks on Thursday when former White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, longtime Trump aide Dan Scavino, Trump adviser Steve Bannon, and Trump appointee Kash Patel must hand over documents. Trump has vowed to fight the release of any information to the committee. Chair Bennie Thompson (D-MS) says the committee will make criminal referrals for anyone ignoring a subpoena.

Finally, today, the debt ceiling fight got even hotter. While Congress passed a continuing resolution to fund the government through December 3, the issue of the debt ceiling, which stops the government from borrowing money Congress has already spent, remains unresolved. Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen says the government will be unable to pay its obligations after October 18, and warns that a default, which has never before happened, would be catastrophic.

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) insists the Democrats must raise the debt ceiling themselves, although the Republicans raised it three times under former president Trump and added $7.8 trillion to the debt, which now stands at $28 trillion. But when Democrats tried to pass a measure to raise the ceiling, Republicans filibustered it. As Greg Sargent points out in the Washington Post, McConnell is trying to force the Democrats to raise the debt ceiling through reconciliation, which cannot be filibustered. Since they get only one chance to pass such a bill this year, this would force them to dump their infrastructure bill.

McConnell is holding the nation hostage to keep the Democrats from passing a very popular bill, and today, Biden called him on it. McConnell complained that congressional Democrats were “sleepwalking toward significant and avoidable danger,” prompting Biden to demand that Republicans “stop playing Russian roulette with the U.S. economy.... Not only are Republicans refusing to do their job, but threatening to use their power to prevent us from doing our job—saving the economy from a catastrophic event—I think, quite frankly, is hypocritical, dangerous and disgraceful. Their obstruction and irresponsibility knows absolutely no bounds.”

When asked if he could guarantee we would not default on our debts, Biden said, “No, I can’t…. That’s up to Mitch McConnell.” If McConnell doesn’t blink and the Republicans continue to filibuster Democrats’ attempts to save the economy, there will be enormous pressure on the Democrats to break the filibuster.

Meanwhile, every day this drags on, Congress does not pass the Freedom to Vote Act.

[queerofthedagger]

Are there any (non-fiction) books on bisexuality you'd recommend reading? I don't know where to start.

Hey nonnie, I’m so glad you asked!

It really can be overwhelming as there’s a lot (and not all of it is good...)

I’m not sure how much you already know or what exactly you’re looking for, so I tried to include a bit of everything from the things I really liked. I’m also going to include some articles alongside books - if that’s not at all what you’re after, just ignore them - and they include a lot of links to further resources.

I also tried to keep it kind of brief to not dump a metaphorical mountain on you, but if you want more, please feel free to send another ask! 💜

Last but not least: obligatory warning that in most if not all of them, there are mentions and discussions of biphobia as well as of other forms of oppression/marginalisation. 

Articles: 

Bisexuality - a really basic introduction/overview with links to further resources.

The Bisexual History They Don’t Want You To Know About - What it says on the tin. This article is long, but it’s an awesome start to dive into bisexual history while also clearing up some misconceptions.

The “Bi” in “Bisexual” Doesn’t Mean “Two Genders” - Maybe the most common misconception and why it’s wrong. Dives into the Etymology, bi history, and why bisexuality isn’t binary. 

Bisexuality and Binaries Revisited - Another article that deals with the allegation that bisexuality reinforces the gender binary, and why claiming it does is more often than not a form of erasure and/or biphobia.

The Myth of Bisexual (and “Straight-Passing”) Privilege - It’s a common myth that we have it “easier,” which this article deals with. A lot of different forms of biphobia are discussed here, and how it, at times, differs from homophobia.

Books: (just a note: I’m not going to provide links here because I don’t know where you want to get them from. You should be able to find them all with a quick google search, though!)

Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries, and Visions by Naomi Tucker - This is pretty academic in nature, but it’s still great to be honest. I particularly liked that it also includes multicultural aspects and doesn’t focus mainly on the US/western world. It was first published in 1995 but I personally could still take a lof away from it.

Bi - Notes for a bisexual revolution by Shiri Eisner - The author is genderqueer themself, and the book covers a lot from a general introduction to bisexuality over bisexuality and gender, to biphobia and intersections with racism.

Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out by Loraine Hutchins and Lani Kaahumanu - This is a collection of personal stories and experiences with stereotypes and invisibility both in the queer and the straight community. It’s from 1991, so also a fair bit older, but it also has history on the bi-movement in the US until the 90′s, which was interesting.

Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, edited by Robin Ochs and Sarah Rowley - This is kind of in the same vein as “Bi Any Other Name,” but for one, it was published in 2012 and is thus a bit more current, and it also puts its focus beyond the US and Europe.

Bisexuality and Transgenderism: InterSEXions of the Others, edited by Nathan Alexander and Karen Yescavage - As the title suggests, this book completely focuses on the controversy around the term bisexuality and how it relates to Trans and queer identities. It’s a great mixture of academic research, personal stories, poems, film critic and more. It was published in 2004, so some of the terms are what we’d consider outdated, but it’s still an awesome book to be honest.

I hope this helps and was what you had in mind! If you have any questions or want more, you’re more than welcome to hit me up again! 💙

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Before I knew what the word bisexual meant I knew I had the same feelings towards women as I did with men and it never really fazed me. I was so lucky to grow up in a house that was not only accepting but also displayed gay icons like Freddie Mercury and Elton John. I was so used to seeing gay culture and people who didn’t fit into the usual gender stereotypes through the movies I watched and the music I listened to with my parents that I never felt ashamed of who I was.

In fact, when I told my mum and step dad I was bisexual they barely even blinked. I was met with nothing but love and acceptance. Which I know is extremely lucky of me as I know the struggles that so many people in the LGBTQ+ community face when coming out. So, what does it mean to be bisexual in today’s society? We face a lot of difficulties and are met with a lot of stereotypes that are often used to drag us down.

THE STIGMA.

I know I’m in a privileged position as a bisexual woman as it seems to be more widely accepted than our bisexual brothers. Somehow its seen as acceptable for woman to be open with their sexuality yet when it comes to men its off limits. That of course doesn’t mean us bisexual woman aren’t met with some resistance.

The most common things I am personally met with is that I am confused about my sexuality, are you a lesbian and you don’t want to admit it? Is this just a phase? You are just experimenting. You’re just saying this because its ‘fashionable’. These are all things people have said to me, in fact these things are said to me on a regular basis – in amongst all the straight men who turn me into a fetish of course.

It’s not only the straight community who have their issues with bisexuals though, within the LGBTQ+ community there is a lot of hostility towards us. This isn’t true for everyone in the community of course but its far more common than you would think. Somehow, we aren’t quite gay enough. We are seen to be teetering on the line of straightness which means we aren’t accepted fully into the community.

SO WHERE DO WE FIT INTO THE LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY?

One memory springs to mind when I think of this topic, I was at a party and met some people for the first time. Amongst them was a gay couple who I spoke to for a while and seemed so lovely and welcoming. Yet when the topic of my sexuality came up and I told them I was bisexual they responded with “oh ok so you’re pretty much straight then”.

On the surface those words don’t seem that cruel but as someone who is so open and proud of who they are and who regularly speaks out against homophobia and other issues that face the community it knocked me so far back. It made me feel unwelcome in the community that I so desperately wanted to be accepted into, it made me feel so small. The sheer notion that there are people within the LGBTQ+ community that simply disregard us and see us as ‘pretty much straight’ is something that breaks my heart so intensely.

On one occasion I was told I was ‘just another straight girl’ who was on the drag hype just because I was talking to my friend about Drag Race. The person who said those words knew I was bisexual. By saying that it made me feel as though I would never be welcome or accepted. Its passing comments like that that have the biggest effect on me.

These small comments have so much effect and just reinforce the way the community views bisexuals.

BIPHOBIA IS ALL TOO REAL

Biphobia is so real and is very alive within the LGBTQ+ community. Almost every bisexual I have ever met has been met with some sort of backlash from the community that we hold so dear to us. Of course there are exceptions but from the conversations I’ve had, the majority of us have had negative experiences.

This is so common though, I see it when bisexuals don’t want to attend pride because they are worried they won’t be seen as ‘gay enough’. I see it when lesbians won’t date bisexual woman because they also like men. When talking to other bisexuals online I spoke to one girl who said her and her male presenting partner were verbally abused at a Pride Parade. Why? Because they seemed like a straight couple, despite the fact they were both bisexual. Bisexuals are not confused, we are not greedy, and we are not going through a phase.

We are valid and deserve to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community just like everyone else does. We need to work harder as a community to break down these stigmas that we have for each other. We get so much hate from straight people, so we shouldn’t have these reservations about people within our own community. We need to build each other up and protect each other fiercely.

A CHANGE IS NEEDED.

I don’t know how we remedy this situation. I’m not sure anyone does if I’m honest. I think it starts with awareness though. Bisexuals need to keep standing loud and proud and making their voices heard. We need to keep fighting for our LGBTQ+ brothers, sisters and non-binary babes alike, we need to make sure we are present and standing up for our community, even if we feel pushed aside from time to time.

For all the negative experiences bisexuals face there are also good ones and we need to focus on them as well. I’m confident the community will catch up and accept us.