#also a lot of my other posts I think are funnier than these

[detectivereads]

Batman: Wayne Family Adventures Vol 2 by CRC Payne & Starbite

10/5 (this is one of my favorite volumes)

This post is for fan entertainment, I’m not being paid.

Yay another Wayne Family Adventures volume; I was stoked when I saw this.

This volume shows us that the members of the family have their own anxieties, like Jason PTSD for what happen to him in “Death in the Family”.  Broke my heart when I saw he went into panic mode when he heard the scraping of metal on concrete that sent him back to the day he died.

One story showed Cass and her ability where she can read a person body language inside and outside of battle and she can’t stop it and seeing one of the girls being upset she ask what wrong and won’t take no for an answer.

I noticed in Vol 2 there were a lot more serious undertones in this one and, but it still had some humorous stories as well.  However, the more serious undertones that we faced in this volume was also that I liked, that these people that are so strong and funny, they have their own monsters to deal with, and all that change when they came to live with Bruce and fought alongside with family members.

I love the stories that had Batman and Bruce, those stories are way funnier than some of the others.

One story had Bruce recovering from a big fight and Alfred put him on strict bed rest and he has enlisted the other family members to help because you know Bruce will do everything, he can to get down to the Batcave. Bruce was even trying to bride Tim to get into the Bat cave. Now I know if any of the kids got injury Bruce will put the fear of the Bat into them if they budge from their bed. So, it’s nice that the kids and Alfred also dole out the same treatment to him.

However, I think one of the funniest chapters in this whole series is when Alfred is out of town, and the Wayne family must go out to a party, but Duke and Damian can’t remember how to tie a tie. Bruce tries to help but fails so he calls on the Justice Legue, but all the guys who wear ties keep failing to direct Bruce, and that’s when Wonder Woman comes into save the day.

But one of the best running gags that s running through series has to do with Tim. Tim keeps getting kidnapped by three guys and they are really bad at it and Red Hood comes in, talks to guys point out everything that they did wrong, but gives them some brownie points about picking their target well, and the proceeds to KO all of them while Tim escapes on his own.

One thing I did like was the ending chapter, while Bat family takes the night off for some family time. So, two individuals decided to step in. However, it ends with fighting and trying to call Bruce to figure out who is the best friend, Superman or Harley Quinn.

This is one of my favorite series of Batman I love to read. I would really recommend this to anyone who wants to read a new take on Batman.

[taffywabbit]

every time dilbert gets mentioned in a conversation/post i think about how hilarious it is that scott adams turned out to be such a deranged alt-right fuckwit, considering the fact that his comics indisputably radicalized me against capitalism as a kid and probably did so earlier than anything else

like there IS some pretty iffy stuff in dilbert for sure (particularly a lot of casual misogyny and xenophobia), and it definitely increased over time as the author got more edgy and self-important. i don't think i read anything from later than like 2003 and it was already starting to get pretty unreadable by then - LONG before he started openly being a turbo-racist podcaster weirdo. but the earlier stuff (especially before there were a lot of established recurring characters or running gags) was largely just a satirical cartoon focused on how corporations are evil and exploitative, and how you'd have to be completely detached from reality to truly enjoy working for them, and how trying to climb the ladder of success is a futile pursuit within a capitalist society where the upper class needs to keep pulling that ladder up behind them to keep the rest of us in our place and maintain their own status. it was basically vent art by a guy stuck working in mind-numbing desk jobs, who barely knew how to draw but just wanted to get his thoughts out and reach other people who were frustrated in the same ways he was. it's really weird but also fascinating to compare that to how it (and adams himself) ended up in the long run

i don't think it was particularly funny most of the time, and when it did have actual jokes, they were often pretty mean-spirited and/or cynical. i don't remember more than one or two specific bits from the comic that actually ever made me laugh, and i read a LOT of them as a kid (my grandpa had a massive collection of newspaper comic compilation books at his house that he'd let me look through and borrow stuff from - this is also how i discovered garfield and calvin & hobbes). but i DO remember having it instilled in me from an early age that there was nothing really exciting or praiseworthy about grinding your life away for a company that profits off your skilled labor and gives you pennies in return - which is especially noteworthy considering i was also raised by mormons, who are famously all about that "nobility in suffering" and "work your way to heaven" type bullshit. i'm genuinely unsure how this happened

anyways i think scott adams would probably piss his pants and explode if he ever took a break from peddling his psychic penis hypnosis and killer burrito podcasts long enough to seriously think about any of this stuff. (and i hope he does. it would be funnier than anything he's ever written.)

[springalwayscomes]

Closer (Teaser)

Read Closer here

Plot: To have each other close is something that you both always wanted, in a way or another. It’s just that… close is not close enough anymore for Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Y/n

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Domestic, Humor, Friends to Lovers

Wordcount: 27k

Author’s Note: Hello! I hope you’ll like this little teaser, I will publish the story on the 16 of July. I loved writing this, it was an emotional rollercoaster and I honestly can’t wait to post it. I really hope that you’ll like it🥺

If you want to be tagged in my taglist to read this work when it will come out and my others please let me know under this post or here! Also, asks and messages are always welcome, I would like to speak with you all from time to time!💜

Jungkook walked in on you using your vibrator as a microphone when you were nineteen, lipsynching as if your life depended on it. He had laughed so fucking loud that time that you still feel your ears grow red when you think about it. He has teased you for it from the moment it happened, still does it now.

Back then, it was so freaking hilarious he would bring it up every time you were too mad at him, to make you laugh it off and let go of the heavy atmosphere creating between you every time you used to fight as teenagers.

Five years afterwards, as of now, he still thinks about it from time to time. It makes him giggle when he’s in the middle of a meeting at work, when he has a stressful day, when he’s just laying in bed with his head empty. Usually, that would be the case. Now that you’re sitting on his couch with a bag of pop corns squished in your hands while the tv is playing though, is a new circumstance.

«What are you laughing at? You’re so loud» you wince at him, monotone and annoyed.

He licks his lips, shaking his head.

«Your vibrator still haunts me»

It takes you less than two seconds to realise what he’s talking about.

«You’re so annoying. Should I bring up the time you farted out loud in class too?»

«That’s not the same,» he laughs «I told you that I wasn’t feeling good but you insisted on going to class anyway»

«You didn’t go for three days straight-» you fight back, stopping yourself when the camera points on Park Seojun.

«Gosh, this man. I’m gonna marry him someday» you sigh dreamily. Jungkook snorts.

«Cause I was sick?» he opens the fridge.

«You drank with Jin the night before. You shouldn’t drink if you’re sick. Maybe that’s why you couldn’t hold it until class was over»

«You’re so noisy» he rummages through the shelves, finally finding the bowl of strawberries he was looking for.

«Want some?»

You quickly glance at him over the counter, pop corns stuffing your mouth full.

«No, thanks. I’m full with these»

He gets a spoon from the drawer, walking back to the sofa.

«The face you made when I walked in is still funnier than-»

«When you farted in front of the class?» you cut him off, trying to get some sense in his head.

«Hell, yeah» he laughs.

«You literally-»

«Okay, now stop!» you slap his ass before he gets a chance to sit down.

«Oh, yes keep going» he fakes a moan. You literally want to slap him hard enough to make him stop being an idiot, but you have to hold yourself back.

«Just shut up and let me see Park Seojun» you shake your head. Jungkook gets a spoonful of strawberries into his mouth, eyes falling on the screen and eyebrows pinched together.

It’s a Saturday, thanks God the both of you don’t work on weekends, so usually you both find yourself on the sofa, watching a movie or just messing around. You’ve known each other since you were sixteen, so to say that you’re pretty comfortable with each other is an understatement. Even when you first met him, the nineteen years old Jungkook never made you feel uneasy. You were inseparable. Best friends that used to sleep at each other’s place every three to four days because you were just used to it. It was natural, so natural that a lot of the people around you thought you were a couple. Back then, you would grimace and shake your head vividly, not even giving it a thought. Jungkook would laugh it off, heart beating loudly in his chest every time anyone made him imagine how it would’ve been.

«Do you still have it?» he asks, voice low as he stares at the screen.

«What?» you murmur. He doesn’t answer, his spoon scraping against the plastic of the bowl to get as much strawberries as he can into his mouth. He munches on them, gulping down and enjoying the sweet taste.

«That vibrator»

«Jungkook! What kind of question is that?» you stop the drama, his thigh getting hit by the remote.

«I was just asking!» he raises his hands as to make sure you understand he meant no harm, the bowl now sitting on his lap.

«Why would you ask that?» your tone makes his eyes smile first, as he always does. His eyes smile first, then his lips just follow.

«Why are you so sensitive about it? I won’t ask, but we both know you still use it» he gets up from the couch, getting to the sink to put the empty bawl inside.

«We say filthier things when we’re in bed!» he goes on from where he’s standing at. Your head is going to explode. It’s at times like this that you rethink about your life choices. From being sixteen and dumb, until you’re twenty four and ending up with sleeping with your best friend.

«In bed! Leave those for when we’re in bed!» you fight back, another pop corn getting shoved into your mouth.

«Okay,» he appears by your side «wanna go to bed so I can ask you?»

[anotherdragon]

you know, I was thinking earlier.

At first I was thinking about how desensitized the residents of Hatchetfield are to death and dissapearances. Grace said it herself: "This is Hatchetfield. People Go missing every day!" And you see it, too: how Max going missing and Richies death almost seems like an afterthought; and its played off as a joke, as 'oh haha look they care more about some football game than a kid going missing' but it really gets sadder if you think about it? Like imagine knowing that any day you or a family member or one of your closest friends could go missing at any time, and just needing to...except that. And it would explain Pete's admittedly little to no reaction to Richie and Ruth's deaths, while he still might be upset over it, he came to terms with that possibility years ago. everyone did. always at the back of each residents mind, that today it was a stranger, a name you wouldn't even remember an hour from now, but tomorow? It could be you. It could be someone you love.

And then i got thinking a bit more: we see a lot of shit like this throughout Hatchetfield (while its probably for the sake of keeping the episodes seperate, im pretty sure nmt2 all takes place in the same timeline, and like. Thirty people are mentioned to have died in Killer Track??? The honey queens go missing every year[well, leave town the day they went missing and never contact anyone in hatchetfield ever again but you have to admit thats suspicious] People just. going missing at Abstinence Camp and no one looking into it???) but all that aside. What I cant wrap my head around is 'Hatchet Town'. the entire song is about the citizens of hatchetfield getting paranoid and pointing fingers and in general getting aggressive over the murder of two teens. But??? 'By Best Of You' everyones just. stopped caring. Shapiro can be explained away a bit by her seeing Max, but with the killing of three teenagers, the mayors secretary and the 'disappearance' of the mayor any normal school would probably. Cancel homecoming. (I could probably also go into a whole thing about how the specific way richie was killed and the MESSAGE WRITTEN IN HIS BLOOD point towards the killer being a student. which you would really think would lead to the canceling of an event like this). And they just??? Decide to still hold the event??? (which is even funnier knowing that ANOTHER STUDENT GETS KILLED AT HOMECOMING)

So uh. Not even sure what the point of this post is anymore. I refuted my own post and then refuted that. Now im just confused. What The Fuck Is Going On In Hatchetfield. Why did all the residents of hatchetfield fucking swing to the other extreme for three minutes and fourty seconds. huh.

[janmisali]

Number Tournament: Honorable Mentions

well, you've all asked for it, and I guess there's no point in waiting any further now that round one is almost over. here's some highlights from the numbers that didn't get enough nominations to make it into the tournament. (as you can work out from looking at how many nominations the numbers that made it into the tournament got, my cutoff was seven nominations, which left room for me to hand-pick three numbers that only got six to fill in the bottom seeds)

six nominations

these are the numbers that were the closest of all to making the cut. in the end, I picked ten, Rayo's number, and omega to fill in seeds 62-64, but four other numbers got six nominations but didn't make it:

25: perfectly fine square number. notably funnier than 24

81: another square. I only wanted one "boring normal integer" for the bottom seeds and like come on it had to be ten.

5040: Plato's favorite number, a very fun one

42069: both 420 and 69 already made the cut, so this would have been excessive

and now for some miscellaneous fun ideas that not enough people suggested to make the cut!

cool math things

c (the speed of light) could have been a strong contender, but physics fans were pretty much universally putting their efforts behind the fine-structure constant and the Avogadro constant, leaving other universal constants behind

the Euler-Masceroni constant got five nominations super early on in the process, some of which were even intentional (there are so many things named after Euler but I made the call that people who said "Euler's constant" without specifying were talking about this one) but never got any further than that

a lot of infinite ordinals more interesting than the standard omega were in the running, but given that omega itself only barely made it in, numbers like omega to the omega power never stood a chance. of course, given how well omega did in round one maybe those other bigger infinities could have held their own if only more people suggested them before the tournament began

Not a Number's presence in the tournament is I think very fun, but other floating point things were also nominated, just not as frequently. negative zero was a fun one, as are the handful of nominations for just slightly-off multiples of one tenth

besides star, a lot of game theory not-really-number numbers had a few fans supporting them, such as dud (deathless universal draw), a couple of tiny numbers, and one suggestion for {69|420}

meme numbers

fans of boobs were split between 80085, 58008, 8008135, and 5318008, so none of the boob numbers made it individually

perhaps even more disappointingly, only five people suggested 1312

1337 is a super dead meme so that one being unpopular isn't as surprising. but then literally nobody suggested 9001? weird!

the AACS encryption key (an illegal number) only got a handful of suggestions, which is a shame because that's a really fun one

only three people suggested "your credit card number" but if it made it past the cutoff I 100% would have put that in the tournament

meta jokes

a few people suggested variations of "the number that wins the tournament", which I think is a funnier meta joke than either of the ones that actually made the cut

a couple people also did versions of "the sum of all other numbers in the bracket" (or "all other numbers people suggested in this google form"), with a couple people who said that also thankfully adding in some conditions to only include numbers where you can actually do that

a couple people have asked me what the smallest natural number was that nobody suggested, and unfortunately (by which I mean I love this) I can't answer that because a couple people suggested "the smallest natural number nobody else suggests"

another fun one was "the number of notes on this tumblr post", which only one person suggested

three separate people did "five (the word five not the number)", "5 (the symbol not the number it represents)" and "V (the roman numeral)" (looking at them all together it kinda looks like this was the same person all three times but that's because I'm paraphrasing all of them)

googologisms and otherwise big numbers

shockingly, the famously large numbers googol and Graham's number didn't get nearly as much support as the googologisms that made it to the bracket

five people suggested numbers in the Busy Beaver sequence, but none of them suggested the same Busy Beaver number

there were also things like "the smallest counterexample to the Collatz conjecture", fully hypothetical numbers

"zillion", "bajillion", and "fuckton" got two nominations each, any of which would have been extremely fun to see in the tournament

other

a couple people just said "fibonacci number" which. do you mean like the whole sequence? maybe these should have counted for phi

two people suggested "a grizzly bear". I'm assuming that's a reference I'm not getting, because it's way too specific of a joke for two people to say that independently

there was one suggestion that was the coordinates to a restaurant in yemen called burger king 2

anyway there's literally thousands of these, and I have no intentions of at any point making a full comprehensive list of what people suggested, but I think this is a pretty good sample of what the nominees were like. there were a lot of really good candidates, but I think the 64 that made it into the tournament are a pretty dang good set of numbers!

thank you to everyone who suggested your favorite numbers, it was genuinely very fun reading through everyone's suggestions.

[quodekash]

FUUUUUUUUUUUCKing hell theyre gonna kiss today????

hes so grumpy already I love this so much

the silent conversations chain and toey are having with their eyes oml I cant

pls this is so funny

theyre both deeply in love with someone else so it's jsut so unnatural to them

BUT ALSO id like to mention that the first thing chain did when he had to pretend to be hitting on toey was put his arm around his shoulders and rest his hand there. which is what he's literally ALWAYS doing with pun, no matter when it is, he's always standing next to pun with his hand resting on one of his shoulders

its like he associates his time with pun as being in a romantic relationship 👀

THESE FUCKIN BASTARDS 😭

JUST KISS IM BEGGING YOU

theyre lost in their own little world 🥺

kiIIIIIS

this is too funny, the cuts from "chain. chain what happened next." to ✨soulful dramatic guitar music✨

im sad they didnt actually kiss but also im not surprised

LOOK AT THEM, DUDE

THEYRE SO NATURAL WITH EACH OTHER

I FUCKIN LOVE FRIENDS TO LOVERS SO SO MUCH

half convinced theyre already dating, they just cant be bothered saying anything so theyre waiting for others to ask them about it

PUN IS SO CUTE DUDE I ADORE HIM HES FUCKING ADORABLE

I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH THEYRE SOIMPORTANT TO ME

if I ever have a romantic partner, this is what I want

I cant explain it, I just wanna run up to them with pure joy and excitement, and for them to hold me back by just pushing against my skull

it just seems perfect, idk why

GB4JHERGB

THE FRIENDSHIP OF ALL TIME

genuinely think I might be more invested in their friendship than all the romantic relationships in this show

im fucking CRYING

my king matt, this was so unnecessary and I love everything about it

why does it suit him so well tho

they should kiss again I think

I feel everything about this image on a spiritual level

THIS ENTIRE AMUSEMENT PARK SEQUENCE BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY AND DOPAMINE IM IN LOVE WITH THSI EPUSODE

NEW COMFORT EPISODE UNLOCKED

look its really funny but I do feel bad cos this day is not even a little bit fun for him

like q is having a complete shit time

poor chain doesn't love amusement parks but he has to go on the rides with toey to keep up the facade cos toey loves these rides 😭

and its even worse realising Q also seems to love amusement parks, so he would be having a fucking amazing time if he could just go on all the rides next to Q cos they both love it so much 😭😭

fuckin FINALLY

LMAO WHAT

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY I JUST SCREECHED WITH LAUGHTER SO LOUD AND ITS MIDNIGHT

THE PURE COMICAL SHOCK AS HE REALISDE WHAT HE SAID, THE EXCITEMENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE AS THEYR EALISE WHAT HE SAID

I mean to be fair it was REALLY obvious

im surprised no one noticed earlier but also its a bl so im not at all surprised to find out theyre all fuckin dumbasses

SERIOUSLY THO TANFANG IS WHAT I WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP HOLY SHIT

a lot of the time watching bls ill be like "I want that" but its usually as a joke

but THIS?? the fucking adhd bastard (me) who just wants to be near their partner and compliment and always stimming and just having a swell fucking time while the other one loves them but is mildly tired but also in adoration? FUCKIN GIMME

also how the fuck has Q not realised, theyre all so fucking obvious

also also I cant explain it it just feels deeply as though pun and chain are for real dating they just havent told anyone yet

ill make a post about it all at some point maybe (I definitely wont)

PHYSICAL TOUCH IS HIS LOVE LANGUAGE 😭😭😭

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HE DOESNT HAVE TO HOLD HIM SECRETLY ANYMORE THEY CAN JUST WALK HAND IN ARM NATURALLY NOW

hear me out tho, this gets even funnier if he's actually already in a committed relationship that no one knows about yet

I dont think it's secret dating, it's just 'not super obvious dating to try and see JUST how oblivious all our friends are. its been three years at this point and still no one's said anything. we're starting to lose all hope.'

I love tan so much, the little wave

what the FUCK

what the FUCK FUCK???

THE SOUNDWIN LINE????

HERE IT IS ITS FUCKIN COMIN GUYS

HE SAID IT

HE FUCKIN SAID IT

[insert that gif of the crowd of people in the bar going insane]

holy fucking shit dude holy fucking shit

my legs are literally shaking idk if I can do this

FUCK TO THE YES, FUCKING EXPLICIT ASK FOR CONSENT HOLY FUCKING SHIT

WHAT THE FUCK

AND THE FUCKING SONG IN THE BACKGROUND !!!!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE

im gonna be here all day

I dont even need to watch the rest of the episode now

I can just go to bed if I want and watch the rest later or smth

dude I cant wait for q to realise that toey is milk frappe guy

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT JUST PROCESSED IN MY MIND THAT THEY KISSED

WHAT THE FUCK

omg making out in a haunted house, what a dream

the workers watching on the security cameras probably had a blast that day

how funny would it be if there'd been a scare actor in the shadows in that room with them and they'd been about to scare them but they were too shocked with that tender kiss to remember they have a job

he needs to lie on his bed and just stare at his roof and think about that for a while

tbh same

look at him 🥺 he's so lost in that memory

thEY FUCKIN MADE OUT HOLY FUCK

welp on that note I think im done for now

I might finish the ep with my silly thoughts+screenshots later but for now tis the time for sleep

[candeathbereal]

Astro observations

Sister signs are the funniest to look at sometimes, because much like sisters there will be the similarites. For instance, Leo and Aquarius are both cocky asf but you know what the difference is between them? Idk if it's just the leos I've met or what but they will say they don't care what others think of them and yet when you say something about them all of the sudden they in their feelings. I can say this as a leo rising too cause bitch, no puedo mentir....if you talk about my looks I might feel some kind of way lowkey. Mostly because it is one of those things that I take seriously about myself so it feels really odd when someone who (in my opinon) doesn't look as good as me and disses me on the way I look...I'm going to be acting (with a lack of better words) like a bitch. I think this is why I get along with libra placements so well because I swear if a libra calls you ugly, you know they can say that shit with no worry of pushback. Like have you see libra placements...motherfuckers rule Venus for a reason (taurus are also pretty but it is definitely different if you know what I mean, I jsut wanted to point that out since Taurus also rule Venus and I didn't want any confusion). Moving on what I wanted to point out is that Aquarius (at least from the ones I've met) honestly don't seem to care. Like I think depending on the placements of the person it could change some stuff up but overall most Aquarius I have met in certain things say they don't care and they won't. Like if you say shit about something they don't care about...they simply won't really react as opposed to thier sister sign leos (fire signs can't help it, it is me I am the fire sign).

Literally Leos it's okay to care about shit...like own up to it. It's better than contradicting yourself. And yes ranting a whole bunch about something does count as caring about it. I'm sorry to break the news to you (i know breaking news people care about things). I do wanna repeat that this is based off my own personal experience as a leo rising with my sun in aries (17 degree) and my venus in the fifth degree (if you don't know those are leo degrees), so I am calling myself out a bit when I wrote this.

Moving on, I might write more about the sister signs in another post

Is it just me or are a lot of Pisces suns I've met happen to be left handed? Like I assume being left handed and a Pisces is one of the biggest coincidences I have experienced in my life. It's even funnier cause I remember meeting a person who was ambidextrous and they had a Gemini sun, libra moon, and a Pisces mars. I asked them if they were left handed and just had to learn how to write with their right hand (apparently left handed is connected to Satan or something like that) , but actually they just decided to write with their left hand as well because it felt more balanced to them. I find it funny because of the whole thing of doubles in these three signs. Gemini= Twins, Libra= Scales, and Pisces = two fish.

Alright final thing, mercury in the fifth house in synastry is definitely a moment to experience. It is one of my favorite house overlays in synastry from usually being one of the most fun conversations I have had with someone with this overlay. Generally speaking air house overlays with mercury is great but something about the fifth house really goes for me. I want to assume it's because my fifth house is in sag and I already have a ninth house stellium natally plus a sag mars. Plus my Aries mercury is helpful in this as well but ehh.

Anyways I would love to hear you guy's thoughts, or even any suggestions on what I should talk about next.

[cringefailvox]

WAIT CAN YOU SHARE MORE ABOUT ROSIE AND VOX!? I SAW UR POST ABOUT IT AND I AM SO INTRIGUED NOW..

ANON I WILL HAPPILY TALK MORE ABOUT THEM.

most of my musings about them are based on an au of mine from my fic time has changed the metaphor, where rosie discovers vox early on after his death and is the one to introduce him & alastor, leading to Consequences. in the context of the au, vox admires rosie for her strength of will, competency, and her ability to be terrifying while remaining deeply kind - rosie, on the other hand, took vox under her wing and feels responsible for him, as well as enjoying his ambition and clever personality. however, vox's prioritization of modernity over all else doesn't hold a lot of space for rosie's old-fashioned sensibilities and cannibal town, which is frozen in time in a certain era very deliberately; so vox feels obligated to try and drag rosie into the future, while she feels obligated to dig in her heels and preserve her values without compromise. it's the biggest point of contention between them. they're both very stubborn and strong-willed when it comes to their principles, which they both interpret as pointless obstinacy in the other - despite this, rosie is very fond of vox because his deep insecurities make him both (1) easy to manipulate and (2) not really much of a threat for someone like her, who is very comfortable with herself and attuned to the emotional states of others. vox respects that he can't shake her composure while still desperately craving her acknowledgement. she's almost like the metric by which vox judges his own emotional stability, a pillar that he leans on in moments of weakness and that she lets him lean on because she loves him, AND she knows he's a useful ally if he's eating out of her hand. i think rosie is a lot more manipulative and cunning than she seems, and she makes calculations oriented to what benefits her the most while still being faithful to her values. she can love someone and still use them. vox needs to feel wanted more than anything else, so this works out excellently. rosie ends up treating vox a lot like she treats alastor: "i could fix him, but honestly whatever's wrong with him is way funnier, and if he really needs it i'll pick him up out of the gutter." rosie trusts vox to handle himself, but also always keeps herself available to him as a confidant, wanting to be the first voice in his ear when he seeks out advice. AGH i love them so so much, i would be so fascinated to see what their relationship is like in canon, if they have one at all.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Because it looks like you’re already losing it do you have any extra thoughts on his voice lines? Mystery Shop Translations has them!

[Referencing this post!]

Yes, I know Mystery Shop TLs has the deets 👀 I'm the one that requested Rollo's voice lines dhabydsbiosaivfbifsan

To avoid spoiling anyone that hasn't had the chance to read his voice lines yet, I'll place my thoughts on them below the cut.

First thing's first! It seems like Rollo will be staying at NRC for a short amount of time. It’s disrupting the daily routine he usually has, so I wonder how he’ll adapt…? Apparently, this is because he has come to study at NRC for a brief period. So maybe there's some kind of student exchange program meaning we may get other "special" students in the future...

Rollo sounds SO unhappy (but in an emotionally-repressed way) when he says he would prefer not to step foot onto NRC campus. TOO LATE BUDDY YOU'RE STUCK WITH US WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT 🤡

QDBIUBSOYFVQE8FO8EQEFANOQEUTQEP OKAY, HE STARTS OFF STRONG... Just another monologue about he's going to be the one to create a just world and punish evildoers, how NRC is a place where evildoers dwell and how he has to observe them carefully... The usual Rollo talking points 😭 His Groovy line references the Just Judge and really shows how big of an ego Rollo has???? Like he's going to impart upon you "proper virtuous behavior"... BRO, I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT FROM SOMEONE WHO WAS PLANNING TO ENGULF THE WORLD IN FLOWERS THAT SUCK OUT ALL THE MAGIC

On the topic of "proper virtuous behavior", I like that we get subtle hints of Rollo actually pushing for this in his lines. It shows us that he actually does think he knows what's best for others and has very particular expectations for what is "good and just" behavior (even thinking that he leads by example). For example, Rollo advises that Yuu "fulfill their duty to their utmost", something which he also prides himself on. Additionally, he commands Grim in their Duo Magic to do as he says, to which of course Grim protests, saying that he doesn't want to be ordered around. Rollo also frowns on Idia's use of an electronic tablet as a substitute for attending classes in person, calling it "laziness beyond reproach".

I find it hilarious that Rollo is SO angry at Malleus that he describes even the general area that Malleus resides in and the mirror that leads there as "absolutely repulsive". HIS HATE BONER FOR MALLEUS WILL NEVER DIE... Even funnier when you realize Rollo is (relatively) neutral toward Azul and only slightly negative about Idia (the other two SSR boys responsible for his downfall). Rollo even expresses curiosity about the Mostro Lounge (and I fully intend to write a fic with this premise in mind, it's just TOO good to pass up)! Both Idia and Azul are referred to as “[first name]-kun” whereas Malleus is referred to vaguely (“that man”) or just has his full name shouted 😭

It's... surprisingly cute??? That he compliments the quality of Trein's lessons. I wish we had more of Rollo's thoughts in this regard, because I feel like he's keeping a lot of his more detailed thoughts locked away. (Notice also that he calls Trein by first-name basis, “Mozus-sensei”.)

Noble Bell College doesn't have dormitories, which makes sense. It is stated in canon to be a much smaller school than NRC, so I'd imagine the student population is also smaller and thus having multiple dormitories to accommodate them all wouldn't be necessary. Laughing at the fact that Rollo just casually dunks on Ramshackle's name though 😭 I MEAN, HE AIN'T WRONG... The place was a bit of a dump before the renovations...

It's really interesting that Rollo continues to express a preference for "relaxing" places; he comments that he loves the Mirror Chamber because it's quiet and he finds it charming. There's also the previously mentioned interest in Azul's cafe, as well as a remark about the knowledge that NRC's library has. It makes me think he can be quite contemplative, although perhaps he doesn't direct his energy toward the most positive emotions at times.

In spite of all of this, the voice lines also maintain a sort of "distance" to them, which I love. This is most obviously seen in the voice line where Rollo asks Yuu if they need something since they were acting overly familiar with him. Rollo indicates that he believes Yuu mistook him for someone else. He doesn't seem to have friends, nor desire them, even if they're of a non-mage persuasion like Yuu. There continues to be this lingering sense of uneasiness and distrust between him and his peers, even when others like Yuu, the gargoyles, his aide and vice president, make an effort to reach out to him. HE JUST WANTS TO EXPLODE PEOPLE WITH HIS MIND, THIS ICY NeUTRALiTY IS tHE NICEST THIS MAn CaN MUSTER/j It really suits Rollo's character to refuse to properly "integrate" with NRC. He's also very actively avoiding making certain decisions which would prompt him to return to the campus, like not checking out any library books even though he's truly entranced by the information the NRC Archives hold. It implies that Rollo is, to some extent, being held back from his full potential because of how he walls himself off from others. He thinks of his own NBC classmates as noisy and stupid, wishes to remove the gargoyles, actively tries to spend time alone as often as possible, and hates on the community goats (bro was about to send one FLYING but decided against it only because there were too many potential witnesses). He doesn’t open up to his own parents about his feelings ever since the fire and claims that others cannot understand how he feels. Rollo has isolated himself 💀

Even his level-up line (not in Mystery Shop TL's post, but I still want to bring it up) is not friendly at all. In fact, Rollo acts suspicious of Yuu's friendship and demands that they come clean about their "true intentions". He then says that if You is actually being genuine, that's actually more bothersome than if they had been deceptive to him all along. He pities them for their circumstances, yes (being a non-mage constantly having to deal with the shenanigans of the wicked mages around them), but that doesn't equate to friendship or feeling "close" with Yuu. Rollo does not allow others to get close, he does not know what friendship is and nor does he seemingly want it or care for it.

Rollo draws a very strong divide between himself and those he labels as "villains" , as well as literally everyone else he encounters. That is, ironically, muddying his relationships and potential for self-actualization when he sees himself as a “savior” of sorts for people.

Overall, I really enjoyed this set of voice lines! It gives us more of what we really love about Rollo's personality without spoiling the events of Glorious Masquerade for those who haven't read it yet. My only complaint would be that I'm getting greedy and want even more Rollo content now, just these voice lines alone isn't enough to sate me anymore/j 😂

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for forcing my older sibling to join me for a therapist session? I (FtM22) have an older sibling (M25) who is autistic. One of his struggles is lack of empathy, while I am overly empathetic (also autistic). He has like two friends ever and he calls them his "real siblings" and I think it's because he has trouble making friends so he will do ANYTHING for these two friends. One of them would physically beat me up whenever they saw me but my mom didn't ban that person from our house because my brother had a meltdown when my mom suggested it. Because of this and the fact that I refused to watch his special interest tv show, he ignores me. Since I am his blood sibling, I guess he thinks our relationship is assured and that he doesn't have to put any time or effort in maintaining our relationship? I have more internet clout then him but he wants to be an internet celebrity so the only time he's not ignoring me is when he can film me saying something stupid. Like he pressured me into drinking and started quizzing me about trivia and filmed me getting the answers wrong and posted it. It was a real struggle to get him to take the video down. Not very funny. He does this all the time. Over half of his tiktoks are just him secretly filming me. Or he pays me to write jokes for him to say on his twitch streams because his chat thinks I'm funnier. I go along with it because I don't really care about my internet followers I just desperately want my older brother to pay attention to me and acknowledge me as his younger brother. As long as I am more popular than him he'll keep paying attention to me. I've asked him to please stop telling his followers that his friends are his "real" siblings and to stop calling me his "legal" sibling. We are NOT step siblings we have the same parents. He has ignored these requests and says there's nothing wrong with it. He has a therapist and so do I but when I asked if he would be willing to have a joint session with his therapist he refused. I just really want to sit him down and explain that he can't treat me badly just because I'm his blood sibling. There are plenty of siblings IRL that go No Contact and if he keeps being mean to me I will head out. I also want him to stop using me for internet clout and talk to me for other reasons than his own personal gain. However trying to tell him this makes him "overwhelmed" and he has to immediately leave the room five words in and if I don't let him leave he'll start screaming or on one occasion, threatened to out me as trans to our transphobic abusive father (I'm not out of the closet yet). I can't imagine a single way to get my feelings across without a therapist being there. WIBTA if I persuaded my parents to force him into a therapy session with me? I'm willing to take the risk of him outing me to our dad I just want my brother to treat me like a friend and not someone he can steamroll over because I'm "forced" to love him. However I am aware that he has a lot of issues and that maybe I'm forcing him to acknowledge some truths that he isn't ready for? Part of why he treats his two friends like gold is because those relationships are really important to him and he knows friendships can degrade. If I show him that our relationship is degrading, will that make him insecure or worse?

What are these acronyms?

[kimbapisnotsushi]

hey all i know a lot of us aren't on twt so here's a post of info from the translated material very kindly given to us by @TrianaNero. first we're starting with info from a bonus volume given to people going to the movie, in which furudate is interviewed about the characters!! some of the questions aren't really necessary to know, some are, and some i think are just funny, which is why there's a mix of them! find the full thread here, of which i directly quoted

kenma is STILL having trouble choosing a fave game BUT apparently his first game was mario kart 64!!

lev's weirdest nickname he received from the upperclassmen is "flora-san", which is (and this is a direct quote) "to honor lev's commendable gut flora that helps him always have good bowel movements" (LMAAAAAO I'M CRYING)

taketora's mohawk came from copying an italian player during his first year

okay i HAVE to include the question in this one because the question was "i admire how considerate and serene kai always is, how can i also become like that?" and the answer is. "face death once". ????? kai??? are you okay???

a "lame pun" that fukunaga likes is "happiceive" LMAO

other than racing each other, inuoka and hinata compete in who can eat fish the cleanest

THIS ONE IS ABOUT SHIBAYAMA MY BOY anyways the question was "nishinoya taught shibayama how to keep calm -- did he manage that?" and the answer was "i'm sure he still has a long way to go" so. it's a work in progress i guess (poor shibayama . . . )

"teshiro and tsukishima both try to avoid noisy places when eating or taking a break and because of that sometimes end up near each other" (this is SO cute i'm crying)

apparently the player that impressed akane the most at the tournament was atsumu?? girl you can do better

"what does alisa consider cool about her brother" "everything" STOP IT RIGHT NOW MY HEART

coach nekomata's favorite alcohol is "sake (the bitter kind)"

IUGASDAD LMNGAAAO ON THE OTHER HAND NAOI GETS "HALF-DRUNK "HALF INTOXICATED" FROM TWO GLASSES OF BEER (and his face turns red at one!)

furudate says that fukunaga was the hardest to draw "because i feel pressured to come up with interesting lines for him"

he also says that he'd be friends with yamamoto if he was on nekoma, because "once you get close to him, you become really good friends pretty easily"

the "we are the blood" speech was something kuroo and the others wanted to "come up with something original for the team" in their second year!! (i think for when they would become third years, according to the post)

AYUDSFBTFDKAS WE HAVE CAT MASCOTS!!! apparently they're all crossbreeds except lev and inuoka (i don't know enough about animals or cats to know what that means) kenma: calico kuroo: black cat yamamoto: orange tabby (@kanoyachi says that he's not neutered in that illustration of them which i have not seen?? do with that what you will) yaku: grey tabby kai: tortoiseshell cat fukunaga: bicolor cat inuoka: maine coon (I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS) lev: russian blue shibayama: tuxedo cat (SOBBING) teshiro: white cat

never mind i have since been sent that image. what the fuck

uhhh okay i don't entirely get what this one means but Q: Share a secret about Nekoma A: It's not Hanako-san in the toilet, it's Suzuki-san

the full lyrics of hinata's toilet song: "Toi-toi-toilet! Toile-let! Whoam I! The guy! Who'll become the ace! Fly fly a 100 meters! Go go 10k km! And befo-ore tha-at--" (repeat from beginning)

the reason why kageyama is concerned that animals don't like him: "when i was in elementary school, a toy poodle from the neighborhood who'd show his belly to anyone always kept barking at me for some reason"

the only times daichi was angrier than when kageyama and hinata fought was when noya and tanaka "wrestled and broke some equipment". and also when they "tried to race a car while running". apparently they ignored the first warning both times

IUAHFDOS FURUDATE GOT ASKED WHETHER SUGA OR FUKUNAGA WAS FUNNIER AND THE ANSWER WAS "i think it depends on the person. for kenma it's fukunaga"

asahi's favorite animal is "whichever doesn't bite"

Q: How to become as mentally strong/solid as Nishinoya? A: Do everything you're scared of

Q: Tanaka said he gets down in the dumps about once in 6 months, what caused that before? A: When he couldn't spike or serve or pass properly, be that practice or official matches

tsukishima likes shortcakes bc "he used to be rewarded with them for getting his vaccine shots" . . .

apparently yamaguchi likes soggy fries because "they have a very pronounced taste". whatever the hell that means??

Q: What was Yachi's most pessmistic episode up until now? A: When she got an award of excellence at a crime prevention poster competition in middle school. She feared that other people'd be like "why did they choose this", "there's clearly better submissions" (YACHI YOU ARE SO PRECIOUS)

Q: I like Takeda-sensei's "Chaaah!" when he drinks. What other sounds does he make? A: "Okkaree"

ukai got healthy eating habits from a book where he read that your muscles break down if you don't get all the nutrients you need, "and that gave him a really good scare"

Q: Who'd you be best friends with on Karasuno? A: Azumane. Peace.

so apparently a secret about karasuno is that they used to share the club room with a mountain climbing club which "disappeared" (??? i'm assuming that means disbanded it just sounds so ominous) and so they "ended up with quite a big room"

furudate uses a bird-person as his avatar because "i like birds and apparently i remind some people of a bird"

Q: What was the idea behind the recent bonus chapter? A: I wanted to include how nekoma realized it was useless to dive after that ball but they simply couldn't help it in the main manga—but it ruined the flow a little, so i took it out, and then I wanted to include it here.

(STOP IT I'M CRYING YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT COUL;D HAVE BEEN IN THE SERIES???)

HJKSDFGBJKSFD LMAAAAO during furudate's research process he took pics of the players and the seated fans during the match and received suspicious looks for it. and ended that question with "I'm sorry for acting suspiciously" and that's that!!! WHEW that was a doozy. i'll make another post describing some illustrations from the same thread, and one covering the magazine digest thread, so keep an eye out for that as well!! thanks for joing me!!!

[rescue-ram]

Elaborating on my previous post in as unborked a way as possible....

In S1-S3, TrapHawk and FrankMarg are often contrasted as dueling couples very explicitly. So I'm going to take my statement "Hawkeye is more effeminate but Trapper is more feminine" and apply it to Frank and Margaret to clarify what I mean.

"Frank is more effeminate than Margaret, but Margaret is more feminine than Frank." Frank is unmanly, in a hypocritical, denying, self-deluding kind of way. He's a poser, and the humor comes from having his pose exposed as fraudulent and inauthentic. Hawkeye is also unmanly, but in a cool way, because he owns it and deliberately shirks what's expected of him "as a man" because he has no intrinsic respect for it. The humor comes from his rebellion and self-confident outrageousness. Margaret is more traditionally masculine in many ways than Frank, something which is played for (sexist) humor in its own right, and to contrast how unmanly Frank is by comparison and heighten his jokes. Trapper's masculinity plays a similar role- while he sometimes plays the sissy to back up Hawkeye, he more frequently acts as a straight man to heighten the contrast and make Hawkeye funnier.

So when I'm talking about feminity, I'm thinking of it not just as "unmanliness", but as "traditional feminine role". Margaret plays that to Frank- she's supporting him, hyping him up, she's his distaff counterpart. A lot of their humor is that old school Punch and Judy "nagging wife and henpecked husband" stuff, for sure, but there's no question that he's the main antagonist and she's backing him up. I think when people say she doesn't become her own character until he leaves, it's because she's so much his other half while they're together. Trapper is also playing a supporting role to Hawkeye- he's also the helpmeet, the supporter, the other half. In some ways I think he actually plays to the ideal of traditional feminity better because he doesn't subvert Hawkeye the way Margaret will do to Frank sometimes. I'm sure I'm forgetting something but I can think of like two times Trapper puts Hawkeye down for a joke, while Hawkeye does put Trapper down semi-frequently. Similarly, Trapper plays a caretaking role semi-frequently but I can only think of two times Hawkeye plays that role for Trapper. If under patriarchy to be a man is to be in charge, to be independent, to be your own person, who's the man in Trapper and Hawkeye's relationship? Not Trapper.

Contrasting Trapper with a few other characters just to further clarify my thinking on this... Klinger also has the Bugs Bunny effeminacy as rebellion humor going on, but he isn't a feminine person- the humor is the incongruity between his masculine bearing and his behavior. Radar plays a support role to Henry as well as to TrapHawk, but he is very much his own wily little person, he isn't "the other half" to anyone in particular, and although he's "unmanly" he's unmanly in the ways boys are, not women. He isn't a feminine person. A lot of Henry's humor comes from playing around with his masculinity, but it's never directly or pervasively subverted or questioned. I think Mulcahy kind of comes closest to "feminine man", but his rather soft and supportive nature is also contrasted with his outbursts of more conventional masculinity, even in S1-S3 when he's a more minor character.

I could point to other things that give Trapper a feminine vibe to me, even though he's not unmanly, things that are kind of female coded in our culture- his quietness, his neatness, his fondness for kids, his morality especially- but my thesis here is Hawkeye's effeminacy is an act of self-assertion, and Trapper's feminity is a role of support.

[cher-rei]

afterglow- pt.7 [ T.A.A ]

pairings: trent alexander arnold x fem!reader

summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter is privileged with working alongside the liverpool fc marketing and public relations team, while also getting entangled with their star player and right back, trent alexander arnold.

genre(s): friends to lovers, workplace romance, fluff

[wc: 4.6k] [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 8]

notes: it's the way that I've hinted at another fic in this chapter and then another one in chapter 8... I love interconnecting my series' ughhh

spamjam._. added to their story!

"here's one for you," jude spoke from his position on the hotel suite couch to gain your attention as you unpacked your things. "bro went from liking her posts to flying her over just for some moral support."

you rolled your eyes as he read out the tweets which he had been enjoying for the past ten minutes now. the way that twitter was rioting over the situation was utterly amusing— from your post on Instagram to jude stating that you were sharing a hotel room. they were having a blast by coming up with theories as to how this even came about.

yes, jude only happened to follow you on instragram at the beginning of the year but that was not the reason you knew each other at all. if it were then this situation would be very awkward. as he would say, "luckily for you, you had the privilege of knowing me before I became the equivalent to ryan gosling."

you wouldn't exactly call it a privilege but whatever made him sleep at night. funny enough, you two met at a football match when you were still in high school. it was strange to see a 17-year-old actively engage in conversation with some random 14-year-old just because he said she was screaming too much.

that wasn't the last of your accidental meetings, however, the next was a few weeks later when your parents invited some friends over from birmingham— and lo and behold who just happened to be the son of those friends.

so here you were at 20 and 23, closer than ever but keeping it as low-key as possible.

you proceeded to listen to jude comment on each tweet, each one funnier than the last. "I swear some of these people have got to be fbi trained." he shook his head and you hummed in response, nearly jumping up when jude yelled out in shock.

"listen to this one," he turned from his position on the couch to look at you in front of the bed. "in early 2023, jude followed jamie back on Instagram and 6 months later she got her job as liverpool's p.r manager. hours later after the announcement the entire squad followed her back, the first of them being trent. jamie and trent have been seen together a lot from then on and she's even tagged him in multiple of her Instagram stories. now what do we know about trent? he plays for england. who else plays for england? jude. where is jamie right now? in barcelona with jude."

you were left dumbfounded, jude staring at you with his eyes wide and obviously impressed. "well that's one way to connect the dots I guess." you shrugged your shoulders, "they're not wrong but they're not quite right either."

a scoff left jude's mouth and he got up from the couch to look out the ceiling-to-floor window looking out at the city. "trent's not the middleman here though. like dude you and I aren't dating so there's no need."

he was right, there was no need for a middleman. it was just pure coincidence but obviously people wouldn't think of it like that. "and I thank the lord for that every single day."

he pulled a face, "stop being dramatic. I'm not that bad and you know it."

you hummed out in debate, getting your things so you could go and shower. "I mean judging by your lack of female interaction--"

before you could finish a pillow was hurled straight at you causing you to yelp out, getting ready to days for the bathroom before he could throw another.

"I talk to woman!" he yelled out after you and you laughed a little louder than intended which prompted him to get another pillow.

"female reporters don't count jude!"

you slammed the bathroom door shut just as he threw the pillow again, a loud thud echoing through the room before it dropped to the floor along with jude's hands. he huffed out in frustration, complaining for a good few minutes before he came to a conclusion that made you double over in laughter.

"just for that, I'll be keeping my eye out for interns from now on! if I marry a reporter one day I'll make sure not to invite you just out spite!"

your first morning in barcelona consisted of nothing but peace. the view you woke up to was breathtaking, definitely the most beautiful sunrise you had ever seen. you took your time getting ready before breakfast and made sure to put together the best outfit you could manage seeing as it was rare that you got to wear summer attire.

jude shot you the most confused look to date when he saw your top. he hit you with the "woman stopped wearing corsets decades ago so I'm a bit confused as to why you're torturing yourself right now."

it took a bit to explain to him that you weren't suffering at all, but he still didn't understand and left it at that so the two of you could head to a restaurant for breakfast. every step you took your eye was caught by something more beautiful than the last, your heart strings tugging in the summer heat.

"I've made up my mind. I'm coming to visit you every three months."

jude didn't oppose the idea and instead encouraged it, saying that he needed a bit more company. everything was recorded, you had your phone out and your camera for double the footage, talking to the camera as you carried on with your day.

"do you really have to film everything?" jude asked from across your table at the outdoor seating area of the restaurant as you waited for your breakfast.

you made a sound at the back of your throat and continued to go through the footage you had so far. "unlike you, I have a social media presence and people enjoy the content that I put out okay?"

"uh huh." his eyes wandered over you silently until he was told to check your instagram story, and of course he reposted it being the absolutely amazing friend he was and not because he was in any way forced to do it...

spamjam._. added to their story!

"I don't think anyone understands how crazy it is to hear jude speak in spanish so casually." you turned your camera to look at jude opposite you, adorning an expression of offence.

you suppressed a smile. "this is the same boy who asked me if 'lethargic' was an actual word or if I made it up by the way."

that hit a nerve for him and he put down his fork, and pointed a finger at you while explaining the pointlessness of the word and just how stupid it was. "who uses the word lethargic jamie?" he raised his hands waiting for an answer.

your laugh could be heard behind the camera, obvious judgement in your tone as you teased him. "people who have a vocabulary level that exceeds year 6."

jude shot you an 'oh really look' clearly not buying your reasoning. "just say that you're tired," he grew a bit more defensive and you tried to speak over him but he continued on. "it's never that deep."

you laughed again, telling him that he literally just proved your point. you could feel the stares that you were getting from people passing by— just trying to enjoy their peaceful thursday morning without two idiots arguing about words.

the banter went on for a bit, the camera now set on the edge of the table so that both you and jude were in the frame, tension heightened as you debated. he shrugged his shoulders eventually, "lethargic is not that big of a word either. it's just unnecessary--"

your eyebrows raised, "--oh really?"

he nodded in confirmation, as to say that it was obvious and that he wasn't an idiot. so you did the only correct thing at the moment which brought a wave of nostalgia to wash over jude who couldn't help but laugh.

"spell lethargic then."

he hesitated for a moment, wondering if you were being serious. "go on then, prove me wrong." you urged him, and obviously, he took up the challenge because jude bellingham was not a quitter.

"L I--"

you cut him off with a proud smile, "wrong!"

"L A--"

"wrong!"

by now jude was dumbfounded, immediately reaching out for his cellphone to google the absurd word only to find out that it was spelt with an E. you hummed happily as he complained once again, saying that spelling it with an E didn't make any sense.

"jude victor william bellingham," you began with a smile and he shook his head. "one of real madrid and england's star players at the age of 20 yet he can't spell 'lethargic'."

the rest of the day played out smoothly— sightseeing, shopping till jude's entire backseat was covered in bags, a trip to the beach and using jude as your personal photographer and videographer. now that was what you called a vacation.

the last stop the two of you were going to make would be a small picnic to wrap up the evening seeing as jude would be at practice all-day tomorrow before the match later that evening. either way you wouldn't be alone because jobe would be flying down the morning, so you were more than excited to pick him up at the airport.

your picnic blanket was set down on the grass at a park, and once again the scenery had you gawking. the sunset was to die for, the atmosphere was chirpy yet peaceful and in all honesty if this was your last moment alive you wouldn't have any regrets.

you let out a content sigh, "if this is what being a wag is like then I might have to hit up victoria beckham for some pointers."

jude let out a laugh from beside you, watching silently as you pointed your vlog camera to the sky— moving it from side to side as you took in the scenery.

"I mean you have some good candidates, and you're already in the industry so it's just up to you." he nudged you on the shoulder. "make the move jamie."

a sigh escaped your lips at the fact that he was right. everything was played out in your favour and you needed to use it to your advantage. "I'll dm colwill when we get back to the hotel."

jude doubled over in laughter at your comment but you kept your attention on your camera, settling it down in front of the both of you. "he's younger than you."

you shrugged your shoulders to dismiss his note. "age is just a number or something."

that made you both smile but for two completely different reasons. jude found it funny whereas you were washed with an unfamiliar feeling, your mind flashing back to yours and trent's midnight mcdonald's run when he said the exact same thing.

that remembrance made you keep a mental note to call him later, just to see how things were holding up on that side.

the conversation picked up again when you shut off your camera. and of course, it took the emotional route at the hour of vulnerability. it hopped from family to work to comfortability in your respective situations in a matter of seconds.

it was nice for jude to have this time to talk about stuff like this, you knew he appreciated moments like this where he could express himself more freely without a language barrier or slight anxiety.

when he first left for madrid you remembered the five-hour conversation you had over the phone because he couldn't fall asleep, too unsure and unfamiliar with his surroundings to be able to settle in. with that, you made sure to check up on him daily before bed.

time zones didn't stop you and never would, especially with someone you considered family. jude and jobe were easily younger brothers to you— jude being the irritating younger brother who acted as if he were older than you and jobe being the sweet younger brother that needed constant affection.

you cared for them both dearly, making time to see each other whenever you could when you schedules were free.

"so you found the apartment?" jude asked and popped a grape into his mouth while he listened to you talk about your move out of your sister's house.

maya and noah were moving to london at the beginning of next year, which just so happened to be two months from now. which honestly was a great idea and you were super excited for them, but it was the househunting the was an issue for you because you were so picky.

you weren't too worried about the rent, the main issue was the interior so you took it upon yourself to do some drastic redecorating when you found one. and in four months it was ready, the only thing it was missing was you.

you nodded happily, "I can move in whenever I'm ready."

your answer made jude smile. be knew just how excited you were to finally move into a place of your own because all you'd been doing was saving up. "which is..."

"which is before christmas. and I have a little surprise on the way as well," you retorted in excitement but jude's thoughts immediately went to pregnancy and you could see it on his face, judging by how quickly his eyes dropped to your stomache.

the sun had fully set now, the air beginning to chill but not in a way that had you shivering, but in a way that made you feel relieved. basking in the atmosphere took your mind elsewhere, a glimmer of something in the back of your mind flashing.

your stomach dropped at the memory. one of the many that you've recently.

"we have to go to spain." the glee in your voice bounced off the walls of the bedroom, back to the bed where you and your boyfriend were lying.

he chuckled at your antics and the way that your grip tightened on his torso, his fingers lightly tracing your shoulder. "we'll go anywhere you like baby." he kissed the top of your head.

you looked up at him with doe eyes. "really?"

michael flashed an adoring smile, the same one that showed just how smitten he was for you. you felt a chill run down your spine at the touch of his fingers on your cheeks. "I'd do anything for you."

your throat stung at the memory, something that weighed so heavily on your chest. moments where you two promised to build a family together resurfaced, where you promised to always be there for each other, but this time accompanied by a bitter taste.

you'd accomplished so much these past few months and he wasn't there to witness it like he said he would. there weren't any flowers or handwritten cards with a hug that made you melt. you could still hear his voice sometimes and the way he would speak to you so gently.

at your graduation you could barely enjoy the moment because while being onstage you saw his face in the crowd, an unreadable expression and the words "I'm so proud of you, love" floating aimlessly through the air.

everything he ever said to you was now floating aimlessly through the air.

judebellingham

jobebellingham and 4 245 223 others liked this post

judebellingham had to go back to the hotel like thrice for her to get changed [tagged: spamjam._.]

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jobebellingham please never take selfies again

→ spamjam._. agreed

→ judebellingham you're both walking to the stadium I don't care

vinijr ❤️🔥 [liked by judebellingham]

spamjam._.

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spamjam._. 🌼

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jobebellingham it's like you couldn't have waited for me before doing all this 😃

→ spamjam._. we're going to be together all week bro chill 🙄

liverpoolfc jamie come back, the kids miss you 🥲

→ spamjam._. they're lying

trentarnold66 you owe me a mcdonalds run when you get back [liked by spamjam._.]

→ spamjam._. yes sir 🫡

Ibrahimakonate 🙊❤️ [liked by spamjam._.]

curtisjr my gf says you're beautiful 🙄

→ spamjam._. gf?? curtis call me right now istg!!

levicolwill okay supermodel🙄❤️ [liked by spamjam._.]

→ spamjam._. check your dm's

"there's my favourite boy!"

you had your arms spread for a hug as you watched jobe walk up to you with a sheepish smile. you could tell that he was a slight bit embarrassed, but gave in anyway and dropped his bags to embrace you.

he had grown a freakishly large amount since the last time you saw him— towering over you would be an understatement and it took every bit of you not to feel overwhelmed, but how could you when he was so freaken cute??

a shy chuckle came from jobe as you continued to hug him, your arms tightly wrapped around in torso. "you can carry on when we get back to the hotel, people have places to be."

that wasn't good enough of an excuse for you. "they can let me have my moment."

when you got back to the hotel, jude wasn't there as suspected but all your bags were already packed for tomorrow morning's early flight back to madrid. the rest of the day was spent just relaxing in the hotel room and catching up as usual because you didn't want to waste your energy and fall asleep half way into the first half of the match.

"I can't believe I'm about to watch barça and madrid play," jobe commented as he scrolled through his twitter feed.

you two were settled comfortably on the couch set with snacks and the t.v playing as background noise. when you didn't reply he looked up from his phone, only to see you glued to your own with a lopsided smile.

it was unlike you to ignore him, even if it were by accident so it raised some suspicion. he kicked your thigh in an attempt to gain your attention but it didn't work, your fingers typing away at the keyboard for whatever reason. he didn't want to be one of those brothers and take your phone right out of hand and see what had you so interested— that was jude's job.

so instead he resorted to kicking you over and over until you eventually got irritated and yelped out in pain. "jobe my leg," you groaned and began to rub your thigh that he'd been taking hits at.

when you looked at him again his expression had changed, his lips slightly parted in shock. you asked him what the issue was and all he could manage was a scoff of disbelief. there'd only been one other instance where he'd seen you act like this before, and he tried to forget it at most.

"who are you talking to?"

jobe wasn't one to pry and you knew that, and when he did it was out of genuine concern. you cleared your throat awkwardly. "just a friend."

his eyes narrowed at your answer, knowing he caught you. "you don't have friends." in no way did he mean to offend you by saying that, because it was true and as clear as day. he knew you too well, maybe you could hide things from jude for a bit but with jobe it was different because everything came out unintentionally.

a sigh of defeat escaped your mouth and you set your phone down on your lap. "this is a situation my friend is in right now. you're not going to ask any questions okay?"

jobe nodded his head eagerly and sat upright so he could pay more attention. and just like that, you found yourself lost in the explanation and you were sure you nearly namedropped at least thrice but jobe remained attentive and gave his word when needed.

"I mean if they aren't dating then there should be nothing wrong with you--"

you gave jobe a look and he immediately retracted his last word.

"your friend. your friend, not you," he corrected sheepishly and you nodded.

he thought the idea was dumb. you could've just said that you were talking about yourself and he wouldn't have bugged you... that much. "your friend isn't overstepping any boundaries by the sound of it. so she should just go with the flow--"

you couldn't believe that you were taking relationship advice from an 18-year-old right now. this was your lowest. "--whatever happens, happens."

whatever happens, happens.

his advice genuinely seemed to shift some gears in your mind, and you wanted nothing more than to wrap him up in a bear hug. so that's exactly what you did. "have I ever told you how much I love you?"

the question made him stifle a laugh, the boy tightening his grip around your shoulders as you lay on top of him. "I want to say yes but no."

you slapped his arm jokingly. "you're my favourite brother too. but don't tell jude."

"how can I not??"

[nihilizzzm]

The fellowship at the house party

tw: drinking alcohol, smoking weed and nicotine

yeah so i might be hangover again but at least it gives me dope post ideas

(disclaimer that makes it even funnier: every description is based on someone i know and i was drinking with, so yeah, call it my slavic heritage ig)

Frodo: His house, not his idea. It was available. He has a big house far away from the city centre, so loud music won’t kill anyone. He specifically said he’a never doing a big party. It happened anyway. At first he is stressed about everything, trying to save as much furniture as he can. Than he decides that fuck it and drinks some beer. At some point he doesn’t care anymore, goes to sleep. No hangover, in the morning he’s drinking coffee and watching everyone cleaning up the mess.

Merry: Very much not his house, very much his idea. Surprisingly he’s not that drunk, but his goal for the night is to get Pippin drunk as fuuuck. He looks after him tho, as much as it’s possible. He invited most of the people. The best dj, not the only one unfortunately, but definitely the most skilled one. Did spend some time in the smoking circle in the garden. Also no hangover (surprisingly v2), helps cleaning. He has his honour.

Pippin: Came to drink and so he did. No shit talking, first thing he said when he entered was ‘where’s vodka?!’. From the very beginning he knew he is gonna be the drunkest. He was not tho, this spot is reserved for someone else, but he was trying his best. Merry helped him a lot. Also he smoked a lot. Anyway right after midnight he passed out, slept under the table. Hangover in the morning, still he was satisfied with himself.

Sam: He helped Frodo decorate. Came earlier and made sandwiches. Some laughed at this idea but at the end of the night there was not a single one left. Pure soul, he doesn’t rly drink. He had like one and a half beer and that’s it. He was sitting with Frodo for the whole night and put him to sleep. In the morning he helped cleaning but most importantly he was the one telling everyone what they have to do.

Gimli: Challenged Legolas to a drinking competition. We all know how it went down. But before he was the best dancer. Ok, maybe not the best but the most committed one. Also came earlier and helped Sam with making drinks, the fancy kind (with what was available and affordable ofc). He was bitching in the morning but helped with the dishes.

Legolas: Oh boy… First of all danced with Gimli, then they fought, then he won the drinking game with him. They kissed in the process, they are in a weird situationship. After the party they started dating. After Gimli passed out he got even more drunk and got into full diva mood. Suddenly he became best friends with Boromir with who he usually is not that close. He is one of the two people who went to buy more booze in the middle of the night to the nearest petrol station. He was also the one who took the most of the photos, mostly blurry tho. Miraculously not hangover. How? Magic ig. Or maybe bc he’s the one who ate all of the sandwiches. Doesn’t clean in the morning, he sits in the kitchen with a tea and posts photos at his insta and laughs at Gimli and Boromir.

Boromir: Had a shitty week at work and with his father so he knew he’s gonna be drunk. But man- Drunk a lot, smoked a lot (he doesn’t even smoke usually??). Literally the amount of booze in his system would kill Pippin. Talking about Pippin they did drink a lot together before Pippin was out. He’s the other half of people who went to the petrol station. Why? He wanted more alcohol and Legolas said he will pay if Boromir would carry everything. They rly started getting along after certain amount if booze. He fell asleep on the couch. Aragorn gave him a bucket, he didn’t need it but in the morning he started thinking it would be better if he did. He didn’t help cleaning, he wasn’t trusting his legs well enough. He was just sitting on the couch in dark glasses and hoped for his life to get together. But Aragorn was sitting with him so it was nice.

Aragorn: Didn’t drink a lot. Smoked weed tho. He was almost all the time in the smoking garden circle with Gandalf. Than went inside to check on people and when he found out Boromir and Legolas are out of the house he lost any hope for a good ending of this night. He got so stoned that when everything was quieting down he was sitting with drunk af Boromir on the couch and started braiding his hair talking about some metaphysical shit. He also became very open about his feelings, Boromir doesn’t remember. They will work it out eventually. Until morning he was sober and made everyone electrolytes and tea. And gave Boromir the glasses. Helped with cleaning.

Gandalf: He brought weed. Didn’t even get inside, literally just sitting and smoking. In the middle of the night disappeared. In the morning texted if everyone is okay and didn’t stop asking until everyone answered. Said he’s never doing it again and that every single one of the members of the fellowship is a stupid bitch. Checked twice on Pippin. Shouted at Boromir with all capital letters for like 20 minutes. Boromir just muted the chat. He did appear on the next party anyway.

Bonus:

Faramir: Boromir specifically told him not to go, bc he feared the young one will get drunk. He didn’t. Drunk a bit, danced a lot with Eomer and Eowyn. Had fun. Boromir doesn’t know he was there and nobody will ever tell him.

[tossawary]

One of my other strongest hopes for future seasons of the live-action "One Piece" is (and I am aware that this is hugely subjective, feel free to disagree) that I kind of hope Chopper is actually a youngish and short actor in make-up (with CGI touchups? whatever the fishmen had going on) rather than a fully CGI creature.

I mean, I won't mind if Chopper is a CGI creature. I thought that the special effects in OPLA were overall pretty good. The News Coo was very cute. The Sea King was fun. But most of the time, the show was real people interacting with other real people, and I thought that this atmosphere was hugely beneficial to this adaptation. I think that they'll probably do a pretty good job if Chopper is a mostly CGI creature, it's definitely doable, but I also think having a much more expressive and reactive speaking character around constantly and casually is much more difficult (and expensive) than a silent, blank-faced bird present for a few minutes, and I would rather have more Chopper than less Chopper if redesigning him to be more humanoid would give us that. (He can be fully CGI during transformations, obviously.) I really like seeing these actors inhabit these characters! I've seen some really cool Chopper cosplays.

My other argument towards making Chopper more of a human in reindeer make-up is that, while I think adorable babyish Chopper is extremely cute and the humor of him being so small and cute most of the time (while being a very talented doctor and able to transform into more beastly forms) is funny, I would... also like to see Chopper taken more seriously as a teenager and as a character. I think fandom, and maybe the story itself, has a tendency to give Chopper less attention because he does seem to fit more of a funny mascot appearance. (I also saw a Chopper post-time-skip redesign that made him more a lanky teen, both more like a human and more like a reindeer, and I liked it a lot more than how he apparently became even shorter. And it made him being mistaken for a tanuki even funnier.) I don't think anything truly important about Chopper's character will be ruined if he's allowed to look a little older and be a little taller. He's fifteen years old!

If we end up with Canonical Babyish Chopper, identical to the manga, that'll be fine! But I will think it's a missed opportunity for the live-action show not to explore and present a different side of Chopper's character, to an audience who might take him more seriously as a hero and as a person if he's allowed to appear more like a humanoid reindeer and another teenager / young adult crew member, rather than looking like a gag character. Yes, ideally, we SHOULD all take Chopper seriously even if he looks like a gag character, but I think the reality is that a lot of people don't.

[ghouljams]

reading (indulging in) your fae!Price fic and i keep thinking about that time when Gaz tapped Witch and all the commotion with her then simply enquiring ‘Price?’ while her nose bleeds… and then she lets that motherfucker inside her house again so he can help her help him fix what he did (this is one of my fav moments because they’re being uncommonly fr with each other lmao)

and also you passingly mentioned in one of the posts that Price didn’t do anything good to deserve Witch’s attention and want. and i keep thinking about that. about all men, even the sexiest deadliest fae 141 boys, being/existing at women’s mercy. that’s what im thinking. matriarchy. femdom. (it’s even funnier cause in my language the word “magic” is of female gender). but at the same time, it feels like Price is training her like a dog (with all the commands he’s giving when they fuck for the first time?? rrrr). it’s weiirddddddd

anyway, i can be shameless for them. i’m willing. be on my knees, bark, whatever. if anyone even cares. they are just ajjsjsksksksk rraaah ight imma go now

btw i read your fics like books. on an e-reader, with tea and slowly, to avoid getting over with it too soon. if i binge its not good for digestion, i need to chew on them a little longer. your words are delicious </3

I definitely write the boys being at their love's mercy. There's nothing sexier than a man who is a dog for his darling, just absolutely and stupidly devoted to them. And I will never stop writing women that could kill me because I think they're hot. So, y'know...

Price hasn't done anything good in his life, he's done nothing that the universe would reward with someone like Witch's love, and yet she loves him anyway. Their relationship is really fun to write because they contain multitudes, they feel like real people in a relationship. Their dynamic fluctuates with the situation. Witch is a submissive in bed, but I would never call her a submissive person; Price is dominant in bed, but I would never call him the "boss" in their relationship. They exist in a perpetual give and take like most relationships do. I could talk about the Gaz tapping fic and their first time fic all day. I think there's a lot to unpack with both of them and I am nothing if not a slut for analyzing my own writing.

Anyway I am honored to be on your e-reader, read like a proper piece of fiction and not the ramblings of a madman. Thank you for loving my fic enough to eat it piece by piece. I hope I can keep writing fic that you can chew on <3