#also a kid in in detention because of me lol

[highdensityrabbitsituation]

It's senior assassination at work and I've decided that I am going to win senior assassination by confiscating more water guns than any other teacher or staff member

[demodraws0606]

Jax's fear of being trapped and what that might imply about his past/future

Hello 2 days ago i've developped a chronic case of Brainrotting about Jax, tragic I know.

I'm kinda basing this slightly of what Gooseworx have said in QnAs though I will not rely on it because I think purely relying on a creator's words and not the media isn't really satisfying.

The main thing that stood out to me in this episode with Jax was that he seems to fear punishement.

He seems really freaked out when Gangle proposed the idea of Cain punishing him...

And then he immediatly goes to Zooble to be like "lol you don't believe Cain actually could punish us right ?" and while he's proven right at the end of the episode, the fact that he immediatly tries to seek reassurance that he wouldn't get punished says a lot. In fact in his expressions he looks both sides while saying it almost like he seems...unsure/anxious (idk the right word).

Also when he's brought into the employee training scene. He's weirdly...afraid and shaken by it ?? (not showing the screenshot cos everyone remembers that scene).

Which like, I understand that was terrifying but it was a strangely strong reaction to something that...light ? I mean he wasn't brainwashed or anything. I might be stretching it but all of it, including the scene's purpose makes me wonder if it brought Jax bad memories of...something.

After that scene happens, he completely acts normal and stops trying to be a dick completely.

Now this isn't a convo about weither that's Jax's true self and his jerk self is a persona. People are trying way too hard to either try to make him a one dimensional asshole or secretly a good guy which like he's neither he's a bastard with layers. But that's not what this is about so ANYWAYS.

All of this made me wonder what was Jax's main Thing, more so his theme or the thing that makes him tick.

We know with Gangle it's her issue with masking (her dreams, how she feels, etc...), Ragatha being a people pleaser, Zooble's body dysmorphia, King's memories and how they link with the loss of his wife and Pomni's desire for companionship.

For Jax we actually don't really know other than...he's a dick and he's using it to cope which like....duh ?

But with this episode and also a little thing that I got from researching QnAs (because i'm normal and chill like that) made me realise what could Jax's Thing.

A Fear of Consequences and being Trapped

Now the main thing that drove this thought was me finding out Gooseworx assigning a song to Jax which is this one.

Don't fence me in, huh....

That line meaning a desire to not be restricted and not losing their freedom.

This makes me think this is probably what Jax's character is at least partially about, or more so...his biggest fear. Being restricted, reprimended or trapped.

I think in part that fear could be related to his past, which I'm gonna throw my cards here, my own personal theory is that he was stuck in juvenile detention for misbehaving as a kid. That experience traumatising him enough that he was probably similar to the Jax we've seen at the end of episode 4, just Tired.

Now does it Necessarely have to be a juvenile detention center, honestly no ? But it's the thing that makes the most sense in my head.

Either way this also explains a lot of things about his behavior in the circus.

He's now secluded in a space with absolutely 0 Consequences, the one person who can dish it out is an AI who is probably programmed to never harm humans (directly at least). He's even proven right at the end of episode 4.

I think what led to Jax's shit behavior was this realisation that this is pretty much now his Safe Heaven. In real life he can't just be who he wants to be, there's potential consequences that he's afraid of.

Now I know I'm gonna hear like "oh so you just think Jax is an asshole by nature", I don't think he is (i don't think he's ever been a nice person his life but like there's a difference here), I genuinely think he's not more so being himself rather that it's just that he's overcompensating for the lack of freedom that he's felt his entire life.

In a way it's similar to how people act on the internet.

Imagine that you were a misbehaving kid and you were reprimended HARSHLY for it, to the point where you're not really fixed per say but you're stuck being terrified of even being slightly flawed.

But now here he is, in a place where death doesn't matter, the harm he does doesn't matter and the one person who can actually hurt him just gives him weird shenanigans that give him opportunities to lash out.

However, there's a tiny little problem...

This fantasy cannot last forever forever and I'm not talking about them getting out because as far as they know it's out of the cards for them.

It's very much clear that the circus with the arrival of Pomni is becoming more tight knit and less divided, creating a more solid friendship group with the help of Pomni being an actual normal nice human person (Zooble is nice too but they're more jaded and too depressed to deal with most of everything, and Ragatha is a whole baggage).

It's becoming increasingly clear in the episodes themselves as well that, Jax can't just be an asshole anymore. Every episode since episode 1 has led to him being reprimended or him not being given what he wants. The group is becoming closer and they're sick of his bullshit.

He also probably doesn't like being alone and hated. We see him seeming sad at the talk of Kofmo's funeral before having to go back to being angry and dismissive in his facial expression.

Maybe he really did want to go to Kofmo's funeral but like would anyone actually believe he would be genuine, after being an asshole for so long would it really be worth for Jax to just break it all right there.

But it's clear he's also not really enjoying being alone.

Jax in a way is basically burrying a hole for himself. Being an asshole was his perfect dream after probably living a life of boredom and repression but now that this consequenceless existence has finally revealed itself to just be a mirage, he's now unable to access the things he really needs.

Actual friendship.

It's clear that the Digital Circus has a point of companionship being extremely important, in fact when we get mentions of Kofmo's abstracting we get also mentions about how no one really founds his jokes funny. Kinger mentioning how making someone feel alone and unwanted is the worst thing you could do to someone. Gangle is saved by Pomni and Zooble's presence.

However there's no one at fault for Jax's isolation, he only has himself to blame.

Ive got more but i'm tired so hope you guys enjoyed it.

[thistlerock]

Okay Fantasy High webtoon. I fuck w/ you. (I've read the three free eps so far so this is only about those.)

It made me laugh a few times and I generally found it pleasant, and even if there's some design choices I don't super agree with the art IS very charming. I also enjoyed the composition a lot it's just nice to look at. I can't super tell if I'd be as into this if I was a new fan coming in or of I'm just excited because I love Fantasy High (gonna have my girlfriend tell me /hj) but I personally really liked it :)

Minor lore differences I noticed is that Penny went missing quite recently? When originally she'd been missing for the longest iirc? Also Torek was already AT Agueford with the skater dwarves rather than being a middle schooler at this point. Ultimately neither of these should affect the plot much just noticed that.

Speaking of plot, I like that we follow Riz!! He's really fun and being focused on the character focused on the mystery is probably the most useful for a comic (though I'm assuming we'll eventually also follow the other Bad Kids more like with the Fabian and Adaine cutaways and I'm also looking forward to that). I was initially a little put off by the fact we skip everyone but Riz's introductions, but it would have been awkward in comic form to give everyone a turn like in actual play, and I think they handled it nicely and the characterisation in their respective first scenes is still clear and good. So far we haven't seen much of Adaine but I assume we're gonna get more about her (and Fig, and Kristen — though Kristen's whole deal is already pretty clear with just one scene, lmao) in later chapters.

My one gripe that I think is worth mentioning here so far is that I kind of hoped Penny and Sam would look closer to their The Seven designs! But I also understand that those are more complex than their original ones, and they shouldn't look like main characters or whatever. Just personally kinda awe-ed at it.

Other super minor changes include Kristen and Gorgug instant bestism?? Hello? Give me more. Also Gorgug and Fabian's fight was slightly more elaborate I think? Which was cool! (Reminds me that I'm curios to see how combat is portrayed, seems fun.) Though I will mourn the loss of "hey you seem pretty non-violent-" "I got into a rage."

A less minor change is that Gorgug made the tin flower himself? I think his mum just gave it to him originally. I'm gonna assume he doesn't start out multiclassing that'd be kinda insane (though I also find it interesting that in this format you don't technically have to tell us what level they are. And I'm curious to see how faithful to dnd mechanics this is gonna be. Personally I think it'd be fun to be very meta or not meta at all, but weird in-betweens tend to be awkward.), but it's cool he already tinkers. Maybe he becomes an artificer sooner in this? Or this is just setting up his eventual genius in building that cell tower or something similar? Idk. It's just nice to see him do the thing his parents also do. I also enjoy how Riz got detention in this version because it's delightfully cringe and gave me second hand embarrassment however I do find it interesting that this doesn't set up Ostentatia? Are we gonna meet her later or are we not gonna know her when she gets plot relevant? I could also see her and Fig having an interaction instead but idk, we'll see.

In general I'm curious as to how the plot is going to progress, because I think comic form makes it both easier to set up and follow and harder to make entertaining. Also there's a lot of dice motifs in the promotional art, do rolls ever get portrayed or is that for the aesthetic? If you read ahead already don't tell me I wanna find out myself lol.

So yeah my overall opinion is that I like it so far. Pleasantly surprised! It was really awesome to see all my favourite little guys repeatedly drawn, especially Ragh. If you know me you know I got so excited over Ragh aha. He's going through it right now but soon,,,soon he'll be perfect.

Anyway. Here's my favourite panels that I just HAD to screenshot and send to my friends on discord (or well some. Tumblr mobile has a ten image limit. I sent them about half the damn webtoon.)

Special shoutout to this one. How dare you do this to me. So sick and twisted.

ALSO WAS ZAYN ALWAYS SO. LIKE THIS??? WHO IS THIS TWINK. WHY IS HE STRUTTING. WHAT IS THAT BACK BEND INSTEAD OF TURNING AROUND LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. WHY IS HE WEARING LOW JEANS AND A BODYSUIT IN SCHOOL. CAN YOU HAVE SLUTTY HIP CUT OUTS IN SCHOOL I CANT?? (Obsessed w/ him)

I wrote this between four and five am after starting the webtoon at like. Three thirty. Any spelling mistakes are because I'm tired and not because I can't read Ragh style, I prommy. (Ragh is just dyslexic. Randomly placed headcanon, or whatever.)

[re-knights]

since i made a reinregu kid and nessa has hooked me on emijulisuba i'm thinking of an AU where these guys all have kids lol

nessa suggested naming reinregu baby "remus" and i find that really cute because now it's ReReRe but all 3 of their names are pronounced differently,,,, re ra ri.... starting to sound like reciting the japanese alphabet

anyway we've discussed a lot and i won't share everything but the main points are that remus is kind of a morally good asshole so i guess he's like reinhard but fucked up??? to me he's an anarchist and also the type of guy who laughs about bugs eating each other.... definitely regu's son for sure!!! but he loves beetles a lot and owns one as a pet (actually i think he'd like bugs in general but seeing nature's Wonders makes him mildly amused) and probably wants other bugs like tarantulas and stuff as pets too wwwww i think reinregu have a back yard specifically for this brat

he probably gets into fights with other kids on the playground because he sees them as below himself and especially if they're mean to him he gets really really Nasty. worse yet, reinhard would be kind of a celebrity and regulus is already an asshole, so remus naturally develops some feeling of superiority from being rich + having a famous dad + having a 2nd dad who treats everyone like they're rats 😭 yeah this kid is growing up with issues

nessa and i talked about the possibility of remus ending up in juvenile detention (imo around 15-16yo) which i think would absolutely break reinhard and regulus' hearts and i HATE thinking about it a lot because i am a generally sad person who craves happiness..... but..... regulus would definitely be distraught about the whole situation because HE is a problem child and he knows it deep down somewhere!! and he would think of himself as a failure of a parent and reinhard would act sweet and you wouldn't hear a single bad word from him, he just allows regulus scream his lungs out!!!!!

and anyway i think they're just,,,, a very bad family..... it makes me really sad :( but that's how it Is.....

also on a more silly note, i think regulus brags about remus being his child because he's SOOO OBVIOUSLY AN ASTREA and like come on!!!!!! banging one of the astreas is crazy work!!!!

as for emijulisuba, i don't exactly have many ideas yet because reinregu is my main thing, BUT i think they would have kids willingly so they'd have more than 1... and emilia will NOT be giving birth to them 💖

i'm leaning a bit on them having 3 kids.... i think maybe they would start with 2 purely because "what if one of them is lonely" or generally not wanting one kid to grow up all alone, but after the first two kids get to like 6-7 years old (elementary school age) they would maybe have another one purely because they want to... idk i think they're very happy with their kid situation

so in other words i want to design emijulisuba kids too some day!!!! maybe when i have a little less work... they make me so happy

i don't like kids at all, i can't handle them for various reasons, but that's what fiction is for!!!! exploring things you would hate in real life!!!!!! 🙏🏻

thank you for listening

[ratgrinders]

So I read this interview of Brennan Lee Mulligan post-Junior Year (really interesting btw, I recommend everyone check it out!!!!) but I wanted to talk about a couple questions that interested me in it regarding the Rat Grinders:

I love the Rat Grinders and how they're just this dichotomy...Talk to me about leaning into not just that they are the opposite of The Bad Kids, but their corruption, because they were really sweet as the High-Five Heroes before they followed Kipperlilly down this path. Brennan Lee Mulligan: There's an interesting question there. I think that for a lot of it, there were hints, and most of the things we've seen of their sweetness are contextual from bits of writing, little things, investigations. But I think that you can see… It's both. There are elements that they were not always like they are now, but the seeds of what they are now are there in the past. I think that when you look at the High-Five and then eventually becoming the Rat Grinders. There's an indication there of Kipperlilly's focus because yeah, the High-Five Heroes is sweet, but it's also sort of a indication that Kipperlilly is pushing them towards, for lack of a better word, do we have something that we're about? The Bad Kids get their name because they've all been given detention on the first day and it's connected to their story. Whereas you get the sense from the High-Five Heroes that it's not actually describing anything. It's like the person being like, "Our inside joke is going to be high-fives." And you're like, "Well, everyone high-fives." So there's an indication there, for me at least, that Kipperlily is trying to make a comradery right away that is not actually there. It's not based in something that happened to them.

So a confirmation that Kipperlilly naming them all the "High-Five Heroes" on the first day is her trying to "force" a sense of comradery, and also possibly an adventuring identity? Like how the Bad Kids already have this strong group cohesion and "story" because they were all given detention on the first day of classes, and Kipperlilly's trying to create something like that without it having a strong basis.

This seems indicative of a couple things to me, like Kipperlilly having a naturally strong, pushy personality that maybe overrides her other group members, or that she has a certain idea in her head about what makes an adventurer. She wants all the gimmicky stuff like a cool party name and inside jokes, but even then on the first day is trying to force it without having earned it. She's enamored with the idea of an adventurer in terms of them being the hero of their own story, and in her head how good of a "story" you have is directly linked to how good of an adventurer you are.

It also makes her opposing the name "Rat Grinders" later interesting, lol. Rat Grinders is obviously WAY more based in something unique to their party and an inside joke on what they actually do. Maybe it was just because she didn't appreciate her sense of control and her name being undermined.

How do you think they're going to diverge now that they don't have Kipperlilly leading them? Brennan Lee Mulligan: I think that the future of that group is very… I think I leave it to the players, but as you're saying with Kipperlilly, her leadership of that group to me, the moment that is the fundamental, very critical to the season and understanding it I think, is that killing of Lucy Frostblade. Where that is the moment where power and the opportunity for power is chosen over all else. The participation of everybody in that, that the other Rat Grinders came in and that they killed Lucy Frostblade, is the ultimate like, "Oh, we can understand wanting to have the status that The Bad Kids have. This was not worth that. It is not acceptable. Even if you really want to have something, you can't kill an innocent person who is also your best friend to get it. That is evil." And so I think that that's really the turning point for them.

And talking about Lucy being her best friend, and the killing of Lucy Frostblade as the point of no return. I imagine that after killing Lucy the Rat Grinders were deep in the sunk-cost fallacy, that "oh, we've just done this horrible thing, there's no turning back now". Like the text messages the Bad Kids found in Ruben's house.

Canon leaves it slightly unclear the order in which the Rat Grinders were shatter-starred, and just how culpable they are for their actions while under their influence. I'm going to assume that Kipperlilly was the first one, "willingly" taking one (for a given definition of "willingly", as I'd argue she had still be subjected to a year and a half of manipulation and grooming by Porter. She may have been sound of mind, but she never would've done this without Porter encouraging her or validating all her worst aspects). Then, she and Porter worked to kill the other Rat Grinders, an unwilling ritual that put them under the thrall of the rage god. Lucy was the last holdout, and was killed with the assumption that she would come back like they did, but she instead "stuck to her guns" and stayed dead.

I'm also going to interpret the shatter-star as an element of divine manipulation that drives people with rage to do actions they wouldn't do normally, but which are ultimately based on a kernel of truth. Think Adaine in the mall fight, "What would Adaine do if all she ever thought about was rage?" and Siobhan talking about the forest of Sylvaire being destroyed in the search for her mother. We know Adaine would never use such an excessive amount of destruction, but we see the underlying motivation to her actions.

So when the other Rat Grinders killed Lucy, they weren't exactly "sound of mind" as they were under the influence of the rage star, but they were still themselves, they still made the conscious choice to choose power over everything else. The rage star only elevated it to murderous heights; they never would've murdered her without its influence (in fact, I'd argue that the expectation she'd come back is why they did it in the first place), but the motivation still stemmed from a selfish want for power they all shared.

I think, too, that there's a thing with them, there's sort of a you can't have it both ways. The strategy that the Rat Grinders employ to get powerful is to do this grinding. Eventually, they get leveled up also by these powerful monsters that are being killed, they're allowed to join in with, but fundamentally it's like you can't have your cake and eat it too. Kipperlilly as a villain to me is very focused on, "Ooh, I can get by with the letter of the law and not the spirit. There's a better way to get powerful as an adventurer other than going on these important missions where you can probably die." That's the other thing, too, is you look at The Bad Kids, the Bad Kids run into that Corn Gremlin fight, and two of them die. They took a huge risk to save the school and stop something bad from happening, and the Rat Grinders never take that risk. So even as Kipperlilly is like, "Why aren't I getting what they're getting?" It's like, you're not making the choices they're making. Obviously grinding rats in the woods is a safer way to gain levels and the reward for doing it the safe way is you've never saved the world.

And with this last bit, Kipperlilly wanting the accolades of adventuring but without having to risk her life for it. It's interesting that Brennan mentions Kipperlilly avoiding "missions where you can probably die", because I've theorized before that part of the Rat Grinders' motivation for sticking to grinding is them not wanting to risk dying!

This is where genre conflict comes into play for me, because in a normal world I'd argue it's totally acceptable and fine for teenagers to do everything in their power to avoid Literally Dying. However, Spyre is not a normal world and runs on DnD conventions, where Aguefort trains them to be murderous "violent wanderers" who enact their will on the world, sometimes fatally. Death is also comparatively cheaper here when adventurers specifically have an easier time getting revived. The Rat Grinders may protest all they want about the standards of the genre that encourage crazy, violent, fatal behavior, but they're always going to be in the wrong genre and their protests are doomed to failure.

And "having your cake and eating it too". Her adventuring party never took those risks, so they don't get the rewards for saving the world.

[fishuus]

i guess this is a rec list of stuff i liked in 2024?? no particular order, i just wanted to yak about some things i had a good time with.

bang brave bang bravern: maybe this isn't a legit comparison but i keep thinking of it as "what if samurai flamenco had a significantly tighter story (tomokazu sugita is also there)". if you like giant robots, you might like this. if you like a completely straight-faced commitment to the extremely funny bit of contrasting hard military scifi with the absurdity of classic giant robots, you might like this. if you're interested in sugita playing a robot who's a bottom, and also there's a lot of gay shit and the earnest power of true love, you might like this!

digimon story cyber sleuth & hacker's memory: a really fun set of turn-based jrpgs. cyber sleuth took me a while to warm up to (the localization could be better, to put it generously), but i came to enjoy its slightly offbeat sense of humor. hacker's memory, otoh, i loved from the start. it does a great job showing how cyber sleuth's story beats happened in parallel while still keeping the focus on a fantastic new cast and their own plotlines. the first game is a more standard digimon story about saving the world, while hacker's memory widens the perspective and shows a bit of the systems at play in the background. just a super satisfying game on every level for me.

shin godzilla: personally i love logging off work and my many meetings and watching a movie about a guy who has to go to even more meetings. i'm kidding, this was really fun (on account of all the meetings). i'll get to his kamen rider and ultraman movies too at some point.

gilgamesh (gardner & maier, also the david ferry version): paying my respects to the original yaoi 🫡

judgment: i wanted to try a rgg game without committing to playing 8 of them in order. turns out this is a perfect standalone game. it's such a tightly written story and character study, and it's really fun to play. kimutaku is so good at playing yagami so low-key, so tamped down, that when he explodes you really feel how angry he's been all along. the english cast is also great -- i enjoyed greg chun's take on yagami as well. (i played lost judgment too but wasn't quite so high on it. alas)

siren: watched sgf's excellent lp and loved this horror stealth game. the motion-capture work for the faces is a pretty cool workaround for the rendering limitations at the time while adding to the off-kilter vibe. i'm also a huge sucker for when studios lean into mixed media and use photos of real props (magazines, IDs in wallets, letters, etc) in their games. the story is kinda obtuse – and literally requires you to read extra official content to get some of the answers – but for something with such vague, stilted cutscenes with equally vague and stilted dialogue, especially with the added layer of a classic ps2-era english dub, i became attached to the entire cast stuck in this extremely bleak and scary scenario. i guess the best way i can sum it up is that it's a game that knows exactly how to play you.

digital devil saga 2: finished right before the world is actually set to end in 2025 in the game lol. it's so good!! i'm grateful that even after all this time, i managed to go into this mostly blind, because the way the plot reveal recontexualizes so much about the first game and the absolute rank relationship dynamics between some of the characters just blew me away. probably has some of my favorite character designs of all time, and i also think it's sooo fun to play thanks to my having turn-based long jrpg brain sickness. such an all-timer of a duology.

nine sols: i'm still not done with it on account of it being a parry-focused metroidvania and me sucking shit at both platforming and parrying, but it's great! it feels so confidently produced, kinda wild considering how different it is from their previous two games, devotion and detention (both of which i also highly recommend). the art and design work are beautiful, and i'm really enjoying how bleak the plot is. you can tell they made two horror games before this lol. i also love story mode. thank you, story mode.

風林火山韻雷 -bring it back-: lmao. anyway, it's a super fun song and mv that packs in everything i like about akyr (mixing traditional with modern both in the song and the imagery, high energy, everyone's great ofc but takayuki kondo especially killing it with that bridge, akyr making aggro songs about murdering their enemies).

[rius-cave]

How about a Highschool AU (and yes it’s inspired by some of the old asks here hehe) where Lucifer is the president of the Drama Club and has a crush on Adam. He had since freshman year, but Adam barely knows him. Well they were friends when they were kids but Adam forgot.

One day, Adam gets into a fight with Alastor and he has two options. He’s either gonna have detention or he can join the Drama Club because they need one more actor for their upcoming play.

He chooses the second, thinking they’d probably give him a background role.

But Lucifer, who decides the roles with Carmilla and is in one of the main roles, makes him his love interest.

The play has 3-4 kiss scenes.

It’s also its own AU. Demon King x Prince AU.

If we’re actually holding elections I wanna candidate for the AU President lol

HAHAHA! OOOHHH GOOD OLE FORCED TO KISS FOR A PLAY TROPE MY BELOVED!!!

Absolutely love it. The idea of Lucifer going after Adam is always SOOOOO great. I've noticed it's actually a trend in human AUs which is kind of hilarious to me.

Demon King x Prince AU 👀 that's also v spicy. What a progressive school having queer plays fkskgnsgn

[flaneur001]

Whitney Theory Time

[CW- talks about mental health, child neglect, random character analysis and unnecessary deep diving into little details (lol)]

I went down a little rabbit hole pertaining to Whitney’s oral fixation. I have known that when something is brought attention to constantly during any story, then it’s not a simple coincidence. I feel like (how Sydney said in the library) that Whitney has a lot going on. And it’s probably not good. I feel like their back story will be very angsty and sad.

So as someone who has studied psychology for a while, I found this…and I feel like I hit the nail on the head (for those morbidly curious like me this is Freud’s theory on oral fixation…and yeah don’t judge me for going all Freudian analysis on Whitney/silly)

So chances of our Whit being a neglected child are very high. But from their general appearance in the game (m!whitney wearing a blazer and f!whitney wearing a long school skirt. Both items are on the costlier side in game) I feel like they come from a well off family? the general hate towards the privileged people they hold, points to either them living a life of privilege but they are so miserable they want to escape? (Tbh their whole schtick sometimes gives rich kid doing all kinds of weird stuff trying to get attention from their absentee parents trope)

Or maybe used to be a part of a well off family? I feel like they are not being able to cope with the sudden change in their lifestyle if this is the case. Thus are trying to sell this fearless image of themselves.

And Is it just me or do you find it weird too that although Whitney is sent to detention Leighton almost never does anything to Whitney besides scolding? I feel like they do come from a powerful background. Otherwise why would all these lackeys follow them around?! And they own a phone to top it all off. I know all the other NNPCs have a phone too but amongst the LIs only Whitney (and Avery) owns a phone?!

The lowkey neurotic and manic tendencies they have towards PC also screams of separation anxiety. (Ahem collection of stuff toys?) For example, them needing to control PC at all times. Their love stat going high only when PC willingly chooses to act on their every whimsical/cruel wishes, them wanting to tattoo their name on PCs face of all places, not being able to be more open/ vulnerable with PC because they feel that PC might leave them.

And their dismissal event also shows just how much their image matters to them, and why they crave to be in control. This is yet another trait they share with Avery, when on low dominance, you can see how humiliated they get whenever PC fights back with them. Add insecurity about looks on top and viola, you have some deep childhood issues (I love complex fully fleshed characters so much)

Also the not being sufficiently fed during nursing part (I’m referring to the picture above) makes me think that the Headcanon about their parents being divorced and maybe their mom moving out at a very young age, seems like a possibility. Hence Whitney not being able to withstand emotional cheating seems like a result of that (I’m just spitballing here…)

So yeah. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. I feel good after hyperfixating about a fictional character.

[Bonus Angst Headcanon] I like to imagine, if it indeed turns out that Whitney lives in some mansion with their dad, and their mom left when they were young, why do I get a feeling that their mom left them/ said goodbye to them near the water fountain on a rainy day. Them just staring into the fountain with a solemn mood, feels like there is a definite reason behind it. Or maybe they used to come to the fountain and make wishes with their mom? (Yes I like to torture myself with sad thoughts)

[captawesomesauce]

Thoughts at noon... (drama at the aquarium)

So they introduced a new turtle to the Shark Lagoon at the @aquariumpacific, and dude... he's been a menace... and I feel so bad for the other animals in the tank that he's obviously stressing out. It's really the delinquent tank, where they all have personalities that border on delinquent and detention worthy antics, but more than anything, they're all slow, sleepy, and silly. - Fern the zebra shark will just plop down anywhere she wants and often will get snuggled by the rays and the turtles. Now and then she'll get a bug up her butt and go digging and messing with the stuff under the sand that she isn't supposed to. Mostly she just likes to sleep. - Basalt the reticulated ray is the biggest and sleepiest animal in the aquarium. 400lbs of pure napping energy. It wants nothing more than to just lay somewhere for hours and be covered in silt and dirt. Now and then it'll go for a lap or 10 and have some fun, often it'll lay down and put one of its long sides against Fern. More than anything, all the other animals will come by and wake it up/move it now and then. But they let it sleep for a while before nudging it along. It never seems stressed just like... fine... turtle moved me... i'll just go lay over here. They never chase it or anything, just... hey.. move. - Onyx is another ray, but much smaller... pure black. Thats why we call them Onyx and Basalt... they don't really have names but color wise, that works. Onyx is a little ball of energy, and a trouble maker... loves to attack coral rocks and things under the sand, loves to tease and play with Basalt, and sometimes will bug Fern a time or two. More little kid energy than anything. - Theo and Lou are the two Olive Ridleys and they're big deal is that they sleep... a lot... They're never in the same tank together, they just switch them out now and then. Often you can find them snuggling with the Fern, or just in their little turtle cave that they like to nap in. They are unspatial as fuck. Literally just slowly gliding/crawling through the tank running into every rock, coral, and animal in there. It's hilarious watching them try and get into the cave as it's a game of left left left, NO right!!! right!! bang! Oof, never let them park your car people... it's a disaster. These guys need about 20 hrs of sleep a day, wake up, get air, swim, have fun, take a nap. That's like - their whole shtick. They know they're cute, they have main character energy, and the whole world revolves around them ... which is why it's the walls fault for not moving when they swim into it lol. - and now there is Copper. Copper is the new green sea turtle addition and the dude NEVER lays down for more than a few minutes, never seems to rest for long, and is super annoying and destructive! He has dominance issues with the olive ridley turtles and will nip/bite and bug them constantly... and I mean constantly! Like unrelentingly. He also got into it with Fern a few times, and he has a bad habit of destruction. He is literally trying to destroy the tank and yesterday we snitched on him because he tore some tank lining fabric and ate it. Oof. You can tell how stressed Theo is, the poor thing just wants to lay down and rest but every time he does, Copper comes charging at him. It's even worse late at night. There was a 10 minute turtle tornado - tur-nado where Copper and Theo went round and round and round and round and round... it was one of many long instances of the two of them not getting along. Copper seems really happy ... none of the others in the tank (animate or inanimate) seem to be though.

For the last year, Copper was kept in an isolation tank after being removed from the main exhibit where he had been a bad turtle. We felt bad for him because it was so empty in the isolation tank with just a few rays and a zebra shark or two to keep him company. But dude... it makes sense now seeing how much of a disaster zone he is!

The others are delinquents ... this guy is Juvie hall level. He's cute as hell, fun to watch when he's not being a dick, and just the coolest thing ever with the way he swims and glides and is just an awesome turtle... with a bad attitude apparently.

oof. I'll add some vids and pics in a follow up, but man Theo needs a break if Copper doesn't settle the fuck down!

[sadist-babypink]

ok so i've watched boarders and here are some of my thoughts on it

a lot of jaheim's problems stem from him not communicating properly

the fact that students beat each other up on the reg and the police doesn't ever get involved is kind of insane. especially since there seems to be video evidence on multiple occasions. i know they keep it on the dl because of the schools reputation and the parents of the perpetrators likely pay off the victims or whatever but its kind of crazy especially since rupert has done some inexcusable shit to people

i like leah's character and her going after that guy and ditching mable was kinda not that impactful because of the little time we had to explore their friendship. they didn't really seem as close as they were made out to be so mable's anger felt misplaced. however i hope leah won't ditch her friends over a guy again and has learned from it cause that would be lazy writing

i feel like bea is joking sometimes (like when she said she wanted the ends experience) but then again it doesn't feel like it which makes her come off as a prick idk i really don't know if i like her or not

they did not show the portrait properly in the show i think and i was wondering wtf leah was talking about until they actually said out loud that it was depicting a slave picking cotton in the last episode but tbf that could've been just me

they all seem a bit dismissive about leah's worries sometimes

they get away with a lot off stuff. like not even detention?

i still don't understand what exactly the headmaster thought happened with carol and omar. did he think she had him strip searched? because shortly after it seems that people actually know rupert was at fault? it was a bit unclear

i love toby lol i hope we get to explore more how smart he actually is in the next season. so much room for character development and him owning up to how intelligent he is. would love it.

also more jaheim being an engineering genius. he seemed to have so much fun with xiang at the robots duel thing

the drug usage isn't unrealistic. rich private school kids are next level when it comes to substance abuse like they don't play

femi pisses me off so bad i've never seen a more unloyal character also his roommate was way too chill about him taking his card like huh i would have flipped i think. then again i kinda like a villianous character who would step on anyone to get what he wants femi just has to get better and less pathetic about it to make me like him

florence is somewhat redeemable and i can see her getting into something with jaheim which would of course cause a rift between her and bea and bea and jaheim. anyways she needs to break up with rupert not like they actually care about each other lol

the diversity team was just two dumb bitches telling each other exactly for half the season. the only actual meaningful thing they did was when they warned the headmaster in episode 5 or 6 i can't remember otherwise most of the shit is so performative which actally makes sense depicting rl

they need a therapist or something on school grounds because WHAT

honestly a school therapist in s2 could lead to intresting plot lines i can already see it especially with carol being the stand-in headmaster now. she'd not give a fuck about patient confidentiality.

bea, flroence and abby three dumb bitches telling each other exaaaccctly

i need leah and abby as friends. no more shit between them in s2 please. abby has already grown a lot.

leahs issue is kind of that she wants justice but then doesn't think about how her actions will impact other people like her little fued with the headmaster directly influencing abby since she will have to leave the school if her father gets fired

the headmaster pisses me off his character is so cold and warm its annoying whatever

omar and dilton needs to happen in some capacity. omar deserves a person who doesn't treat him like shit

xiang has grown on me. that's a real ride or die especially during the paintball thing. hope him and jaheim stay friends

i love toxic dymnamics so omar/rupert needs to happen. that strip search thing was weirdly charged and i really liked omar getting what was actually going on and standing up for himself in a way. they'd be the worst genuienly. it needs to get so bad that it ruins rupert's life. but let omar be happy with dilton or something in the end.

but first of all: someone needs to hit rupert up the head with a frying pan repeatedly to fix whatever is wrong with him because WHAT also preferably have it be jaheim or omar doing the hitting

the rahscals are mad annoying and i wonder if they'll adress the substance/alcohol abuse thing at all

does the secret society actually exist? i feel like dilton made that up to get closer to omar. (or rupert made it up to fuck with him? idk)

hear me out: rupert's brother has the potential to be worse than him. he already does a lot of shit but at the same time he is the perfect student/son from the outside. he'd likely get away with anything. he'd be more the manipulation instead of direct attack type too.

leah showing abby more cultural things would be cute and her coming to lean more into it

in the end all i want is drama in s2. i love messy shit. also harry gilby get on the hotd set and put on that blonde wig you will be cast as daeron targaryen trust.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Going Easy

Your spidey fics are amazing. I almost always read/reread one before bed lol. They’re just so cozy and comforting. I love how you write Peter and Natasha’s relationship, but I also really love the dynamic between Peter and Steve. One of my favorite moments being in “Look After You” when Peter was pretty terrified of what Steve may think of him (cause he’s CAPTIN AMERICA) but Steve comforts him. Steve is just so soft with Peter. I was wondering if you would be interested in writing something between Peter and Steve with that sort of vibe again? – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: panic attacks

Pairings: gen

Word Count: 4039

"He's going easy on you." Something cold trickles down Peter's spine. "He…is?" *** Captain Steve Rogers is intimidating, sure, but Peter's handling it just fine. Then Natasha says something that makes it...slightly less fine.

Peter's about 90% sure he's not alone when he says that he's a little afraid of Captain Steve Rogers. Come on, the man's a savant on the field, super strength, insane tactical mind, crazy good fighting skills, and enough sheer stubbornness to be an effective replacement for renewable energy. 

Seriously. He's pretty sure Mr. Stark's working on that or something. 

Sure, it makes sense that mainly it's bad guys or people who don't seem to grasp the concept of being kind to other people that have the most reason to be scared of someone like Captain Rogers, but that doesn't stop the little twinges of fear in his gut when he sees him walk into the room. The whole 'motivational/vaguely disappointed speech' thing doesn't really work on him anymore—thank you, stupid detention video—but everything else? Yeah, that works. Straightens his spine and everything. He does have a pretty good excuse in that he's, y'know, the youngest Avenger, he's still a high school kid which means this is an adult he has to listen to, and it's Captain Goddamn America. It's probably a good thing to have a healthy amount of respect for the guy! Even if it sometimes verges on making him really anxious when they're left in a room alone together!

Case in point: the one-on-one training session they're in the middle of because it makes tactical sense that Captain Rogers would want to know how everyone fights so they can coordinate better in the field, but Peter's anxiety has been having the time of its life making it much, much harder than it needs to be. 

Granted, it hasn't been all that bad. Captain Rogers is the de facto team leader in the field for a reason, and for the most part it's like he's having a PE class that actually challenges him. And yeah, it's kind of fun to practice the stupider moves that are more than likely to happen at some point anyway, like the Tarzan (shooting a web that Captain Rogers can grab onto and swing), the Yoink (catching and bringing a falling team member to safety), and Peter's personal favorite, the Yeet (using a web to hurl someone across a gap or a higher obstacle). 

He'd had to explain why he'd named it that and got graced with only a bemused look and a quiet chuckle before they were actually practicing it, so he'll take it as a win. 

But then they move onto Peter doing things by himself while Captain Rogers stands and watches, and that's…oh, boy, that's not as fun. Because now he's standing there just staring at him with that wrinkle between his brows like something's just off that he's going to make Peter fix before he's allowed to leave and it's making him second-guess himself in a way that leads to…

Peter winces as he misses the next ledge, fingers just landing shy of the steel as he tumbles to the floor. He lands on the mat, thank God, but falling from twenty feet up is still falling from twenty feet up. That's gonna be a nasty bruise for a little bit until his healing factor takes care of it. 

"Peter? Spider-Man, status."

Oh, oops. "'M good, 'm all good, just got the wind knocked out of me."

He rolls onto his back and—tries really hard not to flinch when Captain Goddamn America is standing over him with his arms crossed and his gaze stern. Luckily he's pretty sure he can pass it off as general discomfort from, you know, falling twenty feet, but this man has an uncanny ability to see everything and he's not taking his chances. 

"Sorry, sorry, I'm—I'm okay, just give me a second?"

He gets stared at for a moment longer before Captain Rogers sighs, crouching down and resting a hand on his uninjured side. "I think that's enough for today."

"What? No, it's fine, just give me a second—I should know how to do stuff hurt too, right?"

Something flickers across his expression too quick to name before it settles on concern. "I'm not gonna have you push yourself too much right now, okay? I think Nat'd kill me."

As if on cue, the door slides open with a telltale whoosh. 

"What're you doing to my Baby Spider?"

"I just fell!" Peter calls before Captain Rogers can say anything—is that rude? Maybe. "I'm okay!"

Natasha comes up behind them, sitting on the mat and pulling up his shirt sleeve. Both her and Captain Rogers stare at the bruise and he shuffles unconsciously. 

"It's fine, I'm almost done healing it."

"Yeah, that's enough for today," Captain Rogers says, quickly standing up, "get some rest, alright? You did great."

"I did?"

He pauses, that thing flickering over his face again, before he chuckles. "Yeah, kid, you did." 

He leaves with another glance and Natasha and Peter can't help the way he presses slightly into her side. She stares after him until the door closes, shaking her head with a laugh. 

"What?"

"He's going easy on you."

Something cold trickles down Peter's spine. "He…is?"

She laughs again. "Oh, yeah."

This is fine. This is fine. Everything's so fine and good right now in the way that it's happening. 

He can handle this. 

***

He can't handle this. 

All of his anxiety around Captain Rogers? Doubled. Tripled. Through the roof. He's trying not to be obvious about it, but he's pretty sure he's failing miserably. Especially since he's now being gently-not-gently cornered in his lab by said source of anxiety. 

Well, maybe not cornered, but when the man knocks—knocks on the lab door and says hey, can I talk to you for a second? Which is basically the same thing. And of course, he reverts to scared-little-kid mode and—

"Did I do something wrong?"

Not the best way to start off this conversation! Not in the slightest! 

"What?" Captain Rogers blinks. "No, Peter, you didn't do anything wrong. I, uh, I should be asking you that."

It's Peter's turn to blink at him, confused. He's never seen the man anything other than composed but right now he looks almost sheepish as he asks if there's a good place for him to sit. Peter silently points to a nearby and he sits, hands folded in between his knees, leaning forward like he's trying to make himself smaller, less threatening. 

Wait, that's exactly what he's doing. 

He's also talking. Which means Peter should probably be listening and not drifting off into nowhere-land, so he quickly tunes back in just in time to hear: "…training session? You don't have to start back up again if you don't want to, or we could ask Nat or someone else to be there if that would make you more comfortable?"

"N-no, that's fine, I'm—I'm good to train again! Are you—did you want to go now, or—actually, I have a thing I wanna finish first, if that's okay, so if we could—"

"Peter."

He shuts up. Captain Rogers looks at him for a moment before he sighs, letting his head hang for a second before looking back up. 

"Are you scared of me?"

"What? No, that's—that'd be crazy, right? Why would I be scared of you?" Frantic babbling is definitely selling this, uh huh, 100%. "That's—that's not true! I'm—I'm not—it's—okay, so, um…"

"You can be honest," he says, voice quiet, and that's not fair because now Peter wants to just tell him everything. 

"…I mean, I'm not, like, scared, but it's…I'm…y'know," he mumbles, fiddling with something he probably shouldn't be fiddling with, "you're…intimidating. Which isn't a bad thing! It's a good thing—I mean, sometimes it's a bit much—but that's not, like, your fault or anything. I just—"

He can't meet Captain Rogers' gaze. He just can't. He sees him shift a bit out of the corner of his eye. 

"…yeah."

"Okay," he hears, still in that quiet voice, "is there something that happened recently that made it worse?"

"I—uh—well—it's kind of embarrassing." He swallows. "Natasha—Ms. Romanoff said you were, uh, going easy on me and it just sort of…"

He trails off when Captain Rogers makes a noise. It's not a scoff, it's not really even a laugh, but it's a noise and his head jerks up to see him pinching the bridge of his nose. "That's not what she meant."

"What do you mean, not what she meant?"

"She didn't mean I was taking it easy on you when it came to your training."

"…then what did she mean?"

He's gotta be imagining things. He really has to be imagining things because Captain Rogers looks embarrassed. And that's not—he does not have a reason to be embarrassed right now and he needs someone else who has a more competent handle on the situation to explain why he is. 

"Peter—"

He's gonna pay Natasha back for all the saving she does. He's going to. He swears. Because she waltzes in like she owns the place and comes over to give him a hug before mock-glaring at Captain Rogers. 

"What've you done now?"

"You need to explain why you told him I was going easy on him."

"Because you are, Steve, and it's getting kind of pathetic."

Peter flinches. And that was the wrong thing to do because now both of them are looking at him with concern. Then he hears Captain Rogers mutter something under his breath and then his hair's getting ruffled by a cool hand and he's being cuddled against a firm side. 

"It's okay, Baby Spider. It really is. Hey, look at me." Natasha smiles at him then gestures to Captain Rogers. "Do you wanna know what the worst-kept secret is about our friend here?"

"Uh, sure."

"He's a big teddy bear."

Peter blinks. And blinks. And blinks a third time for good measure. Captain Rogers doesn't try to deny it, which is the other weird thing, he just sits there and stares at Peter with an expression he'd describe as a pout if it wasn't on, you know, Captain Steve Rogers. 

"He's…what?"

Natasha nods sagely. "A big, soft, fluffy teddy bear. It's a danger to even sit on your bed looking somewhat sad because he'll turn up in something soft asking if you need to talk about anything."

Peter snorts out a laugh. That can't be right. But he's still…not denying it? What? "Is that—really?"

"Ask Wanda. Or Yelena. Or—actually, FRIDAY, can you patch Stark in?"

"Right away." There's a brief chime in the ceiling. "Mr. Stark on line 4."

"What's up, Romanoff, I have a nuclear reactor that needs babysitting—"

"Explain the Cashmere Protocol for Peter."

A pause. "Kid still skittish around Rogers?"

"Mhm."

"Cashmere Protocol is when there's an overly-compassionate puppy dog in soft clothing roaming around 'cause he needs someone to be protective over and if you don't wanna be smothered in affection, you better make yourself scarce or be prepared to cry a whole lot." 

"That's why you replaced all my sweaters?"

"Tell me you like your dollar store hoodie better and I'll buy you a whole damn gas station company."

"Stark, I swear to God—"

"Babysitting a nuclear reactor! Bye!"

The chime sounds again and Captain Rogers just shakes his head as Natasha laughs. She ruffles Peter's hair again. "Him going easy on you? Not training related at all. He's trying not to smother you to death with all his affection."

"Wh—me? Why?"

That must be the wrong thing to say because Captain Rogers' face falls—the man is pouting. The man is honest to God pouting—and Natasha's grin just gets bigger. "Like I said. Teddy bear."

"O-oh."

"You're not doing anything wrong, Peter," comes the quiet voice again, and now it's gone all gentle too, "I didn't mean to make you anxious around me, and you definitely don't have to change what you're doing. Yes, it's true that I'd like to be there for you when you need me, even if it's not team-related, but if you're not comfortable with that, that's perfectly fine."

"I'm—okay," he mumbles, "I just—that's fine. I'm…fine with it."

"It's okay if you're not."

"No! It's—uh—" Natasha holds him a little closer and he takes a deep breath— "I just…didn't know it was an…option, y'know?"

"And that's not on you." Captain Rogers smiles at him. Smiles at him all soft and caring. "But if you want help, or support, or comfort, you can come to me. Okay?"

"O-okay."

***

He didn't really think he'd ever actually take him up on it. And technically, he didn't. Not voluntarily. 

But he's having a stupid panic attack in the living room of all places—amateur hour, all experienced panic-attack havers know you're supposed to do that in your room—and then there's a dark blur in front of him and warm hands cupping his face and a low voice crooning something in his ear. 

"…you're doing really well, sweetheart, just look at me, that's it, that's it, Peter, just look at me…"

He blinks. Tears rolls down his cheeks as a face swims into view. 

"Hey, there you are," Captain Rogers says gently with a soft smile on his face, his thumbs brushing the tears from his damp skin, "hey, sweetheart, it's only me, it's just Steve."

"S-Steve?"

"Yeah, sweetheart, it's Steve. Hey, you're doing really well, okay? Everything's okay, you're in Avengers Tower, you're safe, it's just me. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you."

He sniffles. His hands are shaking. He's cold. It's so cold. 

"You're cold? Okay, let's get you warm. Are you okay with being touched a little more? Yeah? Okay, come here, sweetheart, come cuddle with me." And then there are firm arms around him and oh, where has this been every time he's having a panic attack? "There you go…I've got you, sweetheart, it's okay. I'll keep you safe."

His chest feels like it's collapsing in on itself. His lungs are on fire. His hands are going to shake off of his wrists. He's staring down at the cold water on the floor with concrete collapsing on top of him and he can hear Aunt May screaming and—and—and—

"Shh, shh, sweetheart, I've got you. Hold onto me, yeah, just like that. You got me, okay? I'm right here. You're safe."

—and Captain Rogers—Steve just holds him. Rubs his back and murmurs sweet things in his ear and lets him cry all over him and cuddles him close until he can breathe normally again. 

"Steve?"

"Yeah, sweetheart?" He pulls back a little, brushing a stray tear from under his chin. "You feel a little better?"

He nods. 

"Can I get you some water?"

"Mhm."

And he expects Steve to get up, because there isn't water around here, but then he reaches down and picks up a water bottle and presses it carefully into Peter's hands. "Slow, okay?"

"Wha—did you just have this?"

"You were crying," he says, like that's an answer to the question, "crying makes you dehydrated. Let me know if you need more."

"Do you have, like, another bottle down there?"

Steve chuckles. "No, but I do have the magic ability to go refill it."

"Yeah." 

The water is cold. He manages about half of it before he's done. Steve takes it, sets it out of sight and cards a hand through his hair. "When was the last time you ate something?"

"What time is it?"

He checks his watch. "Just gone three."

"Like…an hour ago." He sniffles and goes to wipe his nose when Steve holds out a tissue box. He takes one and blows it with a desolate honk. "Sorry."

"For what?"

"Crying on you."

"That's the point, sweetheart, I don't mind." He rubs his arm soothingly. "Can I ask what you normally do to recover from panic attacks?"

"Well, I, uh, normally I just sort of…sit for a while and then get back to whatever I was doing." He swipes another tissue. "This one wasn't even that bad, so…I'm—I'm good now. Thanks."

Steve's quiet for a second. "Do you want me to go?"

"What?"

"Do you want me to go?"

That…feels like a trick question. Does he want the very protective and caring person giving him cuddles during a panic attack to leave? No, obviously, but that's not the point. The point is Peter's fine now, so Steve's job is done. But then he's making a face like that's not the right thing to have said, so Peter starts backpedaling, and then Steve shushes him gently. 

"What do you want to do to recover from panic attacks?"

"What do I want to do? I want to not have panic attacks."

"Don't we all, kid," he laughs, "but humor me. Say you want Stark to rent out a pizza joint so you can stuff yourself full of garlic bread, say you want to paint your room blue, make it as unreasonable as you can. If you could do anything in the world, what would you want to do?"

Peter thinks. What's the biggest joke he could make right now? Something about canceling homework? Something about blowing up the dumb power plant in the middle of the lake? Something about making a show come true or something else really outlandish?

No, what comes out of his mouth is: "…have someone help me take a shower so I don't feel all gross and…and watch a movie with take-out, or something."

You know. What he actually wants. 

Steve blows out a breath in front of him and cups his chin in his big warm hand. "I thought I said to be unreasonable, Parker. C'mon, let's go get you washed up."

"W-wait, wait, what?" as Steve starts to stand up, one hand still on his shoulder. "What're you doing?"

Steve tilts his head, that soft smile back on his face and he rubs Peter's shoulder. "You said you wanted a shower and a movie, right?"

"Yeah, but—"

Steve crouches back down so Peter doesn't have to crane his neck to look up at him, still smiling. "Let me help you, sweetheart. You've just had a panic attack and you're still shaking a little. I'll help you take a shower and then we can order some food on Stark's card and watch a movie, okay?"

"That's not fair." He refuses to believe he's whining, but lets Steve pull him up anyway. "Thought you were going easy on me."

"Not anymore, Parker. Just be glad I'm not carrying you."

"You'd do that?" And then Steve just gives him a look and gently scoops him up like he's five years old again and carries him up to his room. "…whoa."

He just chuckles, warm against Peter's chest, and sets him down on the bathroom counter. "You wanna tell me where your soft clothes are?"

"Uh, third drawer," he mumbles as Steve turns the shower on, "on the left side."

"Okay. I'm gonna leave them right outside the door, okay?"

"Thanks."

"What do you want to eat?"

"…can we get burgers from that place near the park?"

"Sure thing, kiddo." 

And Peter can't help himself. Steve turns to go and he reaches out and yanks him close, arms wrapped all the way around him—legs too—and his nose buried in the crook of his neck. Steve just wraps him up just as tightly, kissing his temple and everything. 

"It's gonna be okay, sweetheart," he whispers, "you're safe, you hear me? I've got you. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you."

"You promise?"

"Yeah, sweetheart, I promise." He holds him until the bathroom starts to fill with steam, gently pulling away with another kiss to his forehead. "Go on, shower. I'll be right outside."

Peter gets in the shower. It's warm and he's sniffling still, because apparently he doesn't know what else to do, but having the water just run over him is…nice. Really nice. It sort of pounds over his neck and shoulders in a really soothing way and it's like all the gross panic attack stuff is just…washing away. 

Really nice. 

He gets out when his fingers start to go a little pruney and scrubs himself dry with a towel that's also warm because Mr. Stark gave all of them heated towel racks and Steve must've turned his on before he got in, and then he opens the door a crack and finds the soft clothes he was promised and gets into them, going outside to see—

Steve looks up from his seat at his desk, smiling and holding his arms out like there isn't a veritable mound of his favorite candy sitting in the middle of his bed. Peter just sort of stumbles across the room, letting himself collapse into the hug. 

"How did you…?"

"Texted Nat. Scolded me for interrupting her date with May until I told her it was for you having a bad time." He rubs his back. "C'mon, burgers should be here in a little bit and you've got a movie to pick."

"That's so much candy."

"You've just had a panic attack." He nudges him gently. "It's allowed. Now, movie, sweetheart."

"Can we watch the really stupid movie with the—the boxing robots?"

Steve chuckles, sitting against his headboard as Peter crawls into his arms. "The one that made you and Tony go on a building spree in the R&D warehouse until Pepper dragged you two out?"

"Yeah, that one."

"Sure. Only if you promise you're gonna explain why all the robots have really obvious design flaws." 

"Wait, really?"

Steve gives him a look and gently hits his hand with a bag of sour watermelon gummies. "You think I don't love listening to you be a massive science geek? You know Buck's idea of a good double date was going to a science fair, right?"

Peter laughs. Steve ruffles his hair. A moment later, FRIDAY lets them know their food is downstairs and Steve gets up. 

"If it's alright, I'll let you set up the movie, okay? All this new-fangled tech tends to fly over my head." He gives him a wink when Peter scoffs—Steve reprogrammed one of the higher-level combat simulations by himself not two weeks ago—but leans forward to do just that. "I'll be right back."

He really is right back, that's the thing. To the point where Peter's tempted to ask if he really does have super speed in a way that's not just his serum-enhanced athletic prowess, and then he starts thinking about Steve sprinting up to his room with their burgers and now he's laughing, and Steve's narrowing his eyes but he's trying not to laugh too. 

"What? What'd I do?"

"I just imagined you were sprinting up here and it made me laugh."

"I climbed the staircase," he says, completely straight-faced, and Peter gawks at him for a moment before he winks again. "Here, eat while it's still warm."

They settle back against the headboard again to start the movie. Steve's arm drapes over his shoulder—the one he bruised, he realizes when fingers stroke almost apologetically over his sleeve. 

"Hey, Peter?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for letting me help you," he says softly, so softly, "it means a lot to me, sweetheart."

"You're gonna make me cry again."

He feels the smile against his hair as Steve kisses the crown of his head. "Good thing I know what to do now, right?"

Captain Steve Rogers, Peter learns, is an absolute menace of a teddy bear, but he's not that upset about it. Especially when it ends with him and Mr. Stark shadowboxing the two robots they make while Peter referees. 

(Mr. Stark says something about calling someone named Logan afterwards, whatever that means. Said he'd get a real kick out of it.)

[diagonal-queen]

The Flags in Highschool

♡ characters: Pianoman, Albatross, Doc, Lippmann, Iceman

♡ synopsis: What type of student would each of the Flags be in highschool?

♡ cw: Swearing, Lippmann is nonbinary cry about it, mentions of vapes

note: I have no idea where this came from. I guess my need for Flags content is taking over my brain lmao (I promise I won't only write Stormbringer content from now on I pinky swear) and I know I have tons of stuff still in my inbox from ages ago that you guys requested. I HAVE seen them and I do plan on writing them. At this point in time I'm just sapped dry of any inspiration, so sometimes I just need to get whatever I can. This time around it was flag shit. I apologise for the wait and I love all of you. Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Pianoman (the prep)

Definitely the leader of whatever student council is at the school he attends (unanimous vote)

He is always on top of his shit. He never gets detention, never turns in any late assignments, never gets into any fights

Has extra supplies for people who've forgotten theirs, from spare pens and pencils to spare tampons for the period-havers

Is the kid that your parents compare you to and say 'why can't you be more like him' (if your parents are anything like mine, anyway)

Helps people study and write notes for exams- he has a collaborative doc that nobody ever needs to edit because the notes are always perfect

Is the one that has to show the new kids around because he makes the student body look really good lmao

Hosts every single event, fundraiser, volunteers a lot

Though he looks like he knows what he's doing he definitely doesn't get enough sleep

So he has a very concerning coffee dependence- probably drugs himself up on caffeine to get through exam weeks (please someone tell him to stop)

He might be generally nice and an academic but he also has blackmail on basically anyone who's ever crossed him so...don't get on his bad side I guess

Albatross (the goofball)

The class clown that everybody loves even though he's a little piece of shit

Definitely bounces from clique to clique, cus he's friends with literally everyone lmao. Even the kids who don't even like him are willing to have him around

Is the reason why Pianoman began bringing spare supplies to school (he fully gets by by just borrowing other people's things)

Never wears his uniform correctly, and is always getting in trouble for it with his teachers, but he never changes anything

He skips classes ALL THE TIME and doesn't bother to hide it. If you have a free period and decide to go to the store for something you'll more than likely find him vaping out the front lol

(Sorry yall he just seems like the type of guy who vapes- I do not endorse the use of e-cigarettes. There now you can't sue me)

Spreads insane rumours about himself because he thinks it's funny, and then acts shocked when people ask him about said rumors

Always has food/snacks in class and teachers are far past trying to stop him from eating while in class

He's so good at P.E. it's kinda scary. He can throw, run, swim, kick...everyone wants him on their team

If there was ever a Matilda-style student uprising...we all know who's leading it lmao

Doc (the weird kid)

Okay when I say weird kid I don't mean 'kid who crosses your name off the list when you're nice to him'

I mean 'kid who sniffs glue and knows too much about WW2'

Doc is absolutely the type to get straight As without putting in even a LICK of effort. He just never studies, and he never helps anyone else study either

A bit of a wallflower, but he's by no means a bad guy. He's just kinda offputting at first

A little bit too enthusiastic about the science classes where he gets to dissect small animal corpses (he's really good at it it's frightening)

Brings his own lunch from home

Always in the nurse's office, he keeps other sick students company (he's exempt from P.E.)

He's like reverse gifted kid burnout- when he was younger he was a late bloomer but now he's one of the smartest kids in the grade

Even though people don't spend time with him they don't wanna get on his bad side because they know he's gonna become some world-renowned doctor after school and they don't wanna deal with that karma. Plus he's a little bit creepy

Nobody knows ANYTHING about his home life

Lippmann (the popular/theatre kid)

You might be thinking that 'popular kid' and 'theatre kid' contradict one another but you'd be surprised. Everyone LOVES this guy

The lead in every single school play regardless of what type of character they are (gender and body type mean nothing to him)

Also lowkey kind of a whore. He's probably dated most of his peers and yet they're all still enamoured with him

Probably has a super high follower count on Instagram (why are highschoolers so obsessed with Insta)

Kinda friends with all the teachers and so people call him a teacher's pet/tryhard (i'm TOOOOTALLY not projecting here)

One of the first kids to come out as queer (nonbinary) so he supports other kids and helps them with their own sexuality/identity

Though he mediates when his classmates fight, he secretly LOVES the drama and lowkey wants to be an enabler (but that would ruin his reputation)

Definitely comes from a rich family and probably helps fund the school- gets a lot of awards for nepotism reasons

Has tons of potential with his academics but never utilises it- he's more comfortable not studying and getting 80% than studying and getting 90%

Gets voted most likely to be famous in the yearbook

Iceman (the scary dog)

He's actually really good at school and gets pretty good grades. How does he do this? You'll never know

Always sits in the back of the class, but he's not bothering anyone back there so teachers don't care. In fact they'd probably rather have him back there because even they're kinda scared of him

Also knows a concerning amount about WW2, but it's less the gory gore stuff and more the war-y war stuff

Surprisingly good at humanities subjects. Never try to get into a political argument with him because he has his sources CITED

Though he's really scary and not many people would willingly approach him, he's actually really nice and gentle

Stands up for kids who get bullied and checks in on them sometimes

Scholarship kid

Likes loitering in the library and reads a lot in his spare time (he has tons of overdue library books to return)

If a bird or a bug or something flies into the classroom he's the one who's always designated to pick it up and gently guide it back outside

Always argues with teachers if they say homophobic/sexist/racist things and gets in trouble for it but doesn't care (a king)

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl

[5uwabbit]

"Testing testing..The mic seems well! What a nice morning to greet everyone, Welcome to Altru inc!"

“What are you looking at? Did you finish loitering around? We have a mission to do."

“That’s Kellie??”

Kincaid background is unknown (secret) but he actually have some sort of educational background. He’s still has a skill in spotting talents out of the ordinary. The first time he met Kat she was just a troublesome kid breaking a vending machine. What impresses him more was how her parents didn’t give her an output for this? This is wasting talent!! Anyways.. when her parents were giving her a lecture for doing unforeseen robotics, he told them she would be a genius in tech. By chance, Kat was already in the best school in the area, where Kincaid is in. He now actively sponsors her. (Then they all moved to Almia in via student exchange)

Of course, given that it is an exchange program Kincaid has to keep her in check. Unfortunately, Kat is the “well now I’m not doing it now that you told me type”. So she’s giving him trouble.

Kellie was also from Fiore. He’s the son of a very popular whatever.. just think they have big influence here. He was already in Kincaid class and of course.. Kincaid is trying to get him on board with this plan. However the biggest struggle is literally convincing the boy since he’s Very. Very. unmotivated. He’s a natural social genius yet doesn’t like any interaction that doesn’t interest him.

Kellie only followed Kincaid when he mentioned they’re taking him to ranger school. Kincaid here actually works as a supervisor because Kellie has actual work in Altru including and they know Kincaid from the inside, putting trust on him. He always lived a carefree lived and his motivation is way too vague to tell. (Kincaid thinks he’s actually more at risk of drifting away from their group than Kat is)

Both Kat and Kellie were separate project. He didn’t plan for them to meet. They first began interacting in Almia Ranger School. Kat actually wonders why Kincaid needed Kellie because of course “Kincaid doesn’t really need anyone else doesn’t he?” (This leads to her investigating the organization as a whole, realizing that it’s much bigger than just robotics privileges). However instead of breaking away this strenghtened both of the two bonds.

Kat: I know your evil plans old blondie

Kincaid: what (oh sh-)

Kat: I agree

Kincaid: (huh?)

After this the two have full transparency. Anyways.. Kat realized Kellie’s background and was more like okay we’re coworkers. “I guess Kellie does play a good role in the plan..” Although…. it was kind of unexpected given Kellie were more of the “carefree type”. They got closer later on. Kat thinks Kellie should rebel more because why aren’t you extorting Kincaid more. We in this together dude!

Dear god please do not. Inspire Kellie to be like you.

-Kincaid

Also Kat suspected Kellie had relation to Kincaid at first because “He isn’t the troublesome type but still here anyway”. (Referring to some sorta detention)

Kellie knew right of the bat that Kat and Kincaid were actually allies to each other by sheer observation alone. Even when both the Professor and Kat literally seems like they only got beef with each other (This is why Isa doesn’t suspect that Kat and Kincaid is in the same faction). There will be more children dramas between R!Rhythmi, R!Keith, R!Ponte and Isa but that’s a topic for another stuff..

(Note: I put name differences for easy filtering, it also provides nice detail)

TAGGING

If I said R!Kate that means it’s Kat, R!Kate=Kat

Kate -> Kat

Kellyn -> Kellie

Isaac -> Isa

Mr. Kincaid -> Prof. Kinz (Still spelled Kincaid but again, easy filtering)

I have yet to make name diff for some :p I would love if you try to hyperanalyses who is swapped with who whether in personality or jobs. Who mirrors who designs LOL.

My take in Reverse Universe is like

Sometimes they are completely opposing themselves. Sometimes two characters swaps personality or/and jobs. Sometimes they remain the same as ever but something is off.

[obsessedwithceleste]

hi!! how are you, love? I hope you're doing fine! I wanted to send in an ask for the slytherin boys pairing game 'cause I think it's suck a cute and funny idea!

I'll tell you a little 'bout me!

physical desc: I'd say I'm tall, 170 cm aprox (sorry, I don't know how much that's in inches, I'm european lol). I'm a brunette with long, curly hair. my skin is quite light and I have light freckles over my nose. I have green eyes and really, really thick eyebrows. I'm skinny and I have no 🍒 (thanking my mom for giving me a good ass at least lol)

my personality: I'm a slytherin (best house, fight me), a scorpio and an INTP. I'm spaniard (don't think that's relevant but I just wanted to say it) and a gym girlie 🏋🏻‍♀️. for me, it's kinda hard saying good things about myself, cause I used to have bad anxiety and very low self-esteem —thankfully, I'm doing better now, so I'll try my best! I like to think I'm an intelligent person, I've always done good in school without really trying. I'm also a perfectionist —I get mad when things don't go the way I want them to go. I'm not a shy person, but definitely an introvert (I don't think anyone, nor even my family or friends, know me for real). I have very few friends, by the way, but all of them are really close —and all of them are women, cause I'm scare of men lol... which may justify the fact that I have never had a boyfriend now that I think about it, anyways... I'm definitely funny and my love languages are quality time and words of affirmation (I just love to comfort people with words because I don't like physical touch that much). sometimes I'm a loner, I love to lock myself in my room with a book, my phone and taylor swift's records —I just love taylor. I'm a mirrorball 🪩 and the archer 🏹 girlie of course. I try my best to stay positive all the time, because that has helped me cope with my anxiety. a lot of people who knows me, like classmates or friends, have told me that I have a heart of gold, cause I like to help people without expecting anything in return, I also love to make people feel included and welcome (partially because I know the feeling of being left out). I daydream a lot and I'm curious af. the worst thing about me it's how insanely stubborn I am, also, I have no filter, so when I first meet people, they tend to think I'm rude and insufferable, but they end up liking me. honestly, I like to make people think that I'm a tough kid, but truth is I'm a softie inside —I cry and overthink a lot.

Emme my love, it feels criminal to not pair you with Theodore, but the entire time I was reading your description it just screamed Draco😫

Pairing: Draco Malfoy

Draco is the definition of cold and menacing on the outside, but soft and gentle on the inside.

I’ll be so for real though, he’s kind of a brat. He makes the whole trust fund kid thing his whole personality. We all know it. It’s insufferable.

In the beginning he often overlooked you in the common room. He always imagined he'd end up with someone flashy, a trophy really.

The first night he really notices you Theo and Matt had landed themselves in detention (as per usual), Blaise was holed up in the library, and Enz was God knows where. He was lonely sure, brooding in a dark corner, but used to it. Side effects of being an only child.

But you had dragged him into your little group, all huddled together by the fireplace. The giggles and laughter were an unfamiliar warmth in the dungeons. He'd never really bothered to get to know anyone outside his own group, but he liked this. (Not that he'd admit it though.)

After that whenever you saw him alone, sulking all dramatic like, you'd sidle on up to him. He pretended to be annoyed at first, but it didn't last long. The two of you just clicked.

Your stubborn personality matches his own, and slowly, you're able to chip away at his cold exterior.

On a side note, the first time you ever really snap at him, the boy is simply too stunned to speak. And he definitely thinks it's hot.

Anyway, when you finally introduce him to your Taylor Swift records, it's an instant obsession, pureblood superiority be damned. You're on Your Own Kid? The Archer? Tears.

A really good bonding experience tbh.

That's when everything really clicks for Draco. He likes the way you went out of your way to make him feel welcome. wanted. He likes the way your bluntness makes Mattheo think twice before asking stupid questions. He likes the way you're smart, and funny, and the way you look awfully pretty lying next to him on the floor rambling on about your favorite singer.

Asking you out properly is the real struggle. He wants everything to be perfect. He would never admit to it, but he's definitely a hopeless romantic and thinks you deserve the world.

When he finally takes you out to Hogsmeade, it feels like everything that could go wrong, goes wrong. They mix up your order at the Three Broomsticks, they're out of your favorite sweets at Honeydukes, and Draco just feels defeated.

You're not bothered by it so much though as the two of you walk back to the castle, fingers intertwined.

And when you kiss him, Draco is absolutely sure that you're the best thing to ever happen to him.

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Dayum i had a Murder Drones dream bruh

I'll tell ya the clips i remember from it, if any

Soooo there's a point where N is inside a school and he's looking around for sumthin' idfk and he stumbles upon a little girl drone with white eyes and i think jet black hair?? And she's obviously a fun lover that doesn't wanna be here but she recognizes it's a necessity so she rolls with it and does her stuff as told– okay so apparently she's gotta finish some homework about animals, what they are and what they do, the sort, and she's like- talking a lot about her home and how her family has to pay for wifi or sumthin' etc etc and N just goes "oh is that homework? Do you have to describe animals? I can help!"

And then the girl drone (who i'm calling Leni) just goes "yeah it's homework, boring but i gotta do it- it's something about animals, what they do and all- i sortaaaaa didn't finish it because i was bored out of my mind..." And N just spots a Sonic figurine on a shelf somewhere and goes "hey, what if you talked about that guy over there?" He means the Sonic figurine on the shelf, "what does a hedgehog do? Does it like anything? You could describe a hedgehog, it's an animal!" And Leni is just. "Heh, thanks dude!" And my lordy the smile N gives it kills me oughhhh yes baby boy you did a help a girl with homework!!! Uzi is lucky to have you ough

Another clip! There's the typical big dumb creepy guy that puts kids in detention trope! Yeah he just scruffs one like a cat and tosses them onto a hook, hanged like cloth (NOT HURT THOUGH! ALIVE AND HEALTHY!) And they're just "hey dude what did i do?! Get me off this thing!!" And the big creepy guy just. Giggles at 'em as he walks away. Idfk what else happened after that- but it has to do with N???? Did he fuck up????? He's a good boy who did no wrong wtf he stopped killing a long time ago!!! The Uzi simp allegations are exaggerrated!!!!!! Leave him alone bitch!!!!!!!!

So apparently the detention drone is just like. Roaming around the school, and N is just staying out of it's sight at all times– keeping Leni safe from it too because they're buddies now and he's a good boy– and at some point taps his foot on the floor lightly to make a sound to test if it can hear and... It does not. It's big stupid AND probably deaf. Or they're just lucky idk lol

Also Cyn is there too. There's a moment after the whole detention drone shebang where Cyn pops up behind some doors and is accompanied by like- another girl drone with ponytails and black hair that is also Solver infected, and she's already gotten the eldritch claws for hands too so she's probably been infected before even like- Camp Fever, to give you an idea of the time frame, and Cyn is just. "You said "shit" now you're getting punished" and apparently getting taken out of the school is a punishment??? They're just. Grabbed and Cyn fuckin' flies away with them both, leaving them with the rest of the gæng in a like- place with two random drop pods like the ones from episode 1 and 3, and fun fact! V and Uzi are there! They're alive and well! And yes N hugs Uzi first thing, ig Leni gets to meet the rest of the bunch now lol.

Oh yeah there's also Tessa i guess lmfao idk what she's lookin' for now

[snowseasonmademe]

I think one major consequence of moving to America from my home country is that it made me hate white people more than I already did. Now listen I don’t hate white people… but you know what I mean. In my home country in Africa where black people are the majority, I still faced racism (they police our hair in schools and workplaces, I received detention in school for having an Afro, got called slurs, etc), but I never felt alone because black people are the majority in the country.

When I was a young teenager, my mom and I moved to America, but like… a very rich, white area. No we were not rich, my mom just worked as a caretaker for old people and she worked for this very rich trump supporting white family. I went to a high school that had a statistic of 98.2% white people. All rich people. This was a culture shock because at my old high school, I was surrounded by people who looked like me. I genuinely had panic attacks because I was like 1 in 10-15 black people at a school of hundreds.

The RACISM and XENOPHOBIA that rich white kids and adults exhibit is soooooo appalling and sick, my god. And they always get away with it. I swear that school was traumatic. And the school also had neo Nazis and the children of Proud Boys.

And before moving to America, I never really understood why black Americans were so exhausted. Like back home, people think black Americans are lazy because that’s what white people tell us, but it seems to be exhaustion to me. And only once I went to high school with white people was I like… yup. Definitely judged way too quickly, I stand corrected. I can’t do this either. Can’t imagine dealing with this for centuries.

But yeah, ever since I graduated, I’ve wanted nothing more than to move to an area with more black people, I can’t do it again. I really can’t.

i understand what you feel about “hating” white people. i feel the same way. of course i know not all of them are bad but i can’t help but to expect them to be bad just due to history and how a lot of them act currently.

i went to a middle school where i was bullied a lot for being black. they used to say my hair felt like cotton and when i had my hair done they would ask if it was horse hair. they would say all kinds of mean and racist thing to me and no body did anything about it. i can relate to only being apart of a very small population of black people in school or in the neighborhood you live in.

you never notice how bad white people are until you really get around them and then you see how truly hateful they are and how they were raised. it’s so crazy to see the difference. and they just think it’s normal and okay to act the way they do. they don’t see a problem with it.

i’ll agree with you on that. we are tired lol. when know how it is and how it probably is always going to be. there’s not really anything we can do. there’s always going to be people who hate us and it’s there job to unlearn that or not.

i love to be around other black people too but a lot of them are extremely judgmental and it really sucks. last summer i went to my mom’s best friend’s wedding and her and her husband’s family is jamaican. they were so mean to us. giving us dirty stares to whole time and making fun of us for wearing our cowboy boots (which my mom’s bsf approved of btw). they were saying “howdy” and “yee haw” under there breath. mind you, we were in a very rural part of pennsylvania. one lady was talking to me in patois and im not super familiar with it and i couldn’t understand so then she started speaking regular english with the worst attitude to me. i was like???? and then there was a preacher guy who was telling everyone to go in a certain place so they could cut the cake or whatever but we couldn’t hear him and he got on the microphone and called us out in front of everyone. when my mom caught the bouquet they were staring her down BADD. i was so pissed off. we said goodbye to the bride and groom and left.