#also Netherland ladies I’m sure you’re all lovely girls

[paulodybaeeela]

Any time I think of the USA vs Netherlands I think of this and my blood is on fire.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

At Last (oneshot)

Harry Potter Marauders Era 

Request: hi! can i request a regulus x reader childhood friends to lovers? 

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: T

_______

“So are you going to finally ask her out?’ 

Evan asked as he stood with Regulus at King’s Cross station. You were coming back from a month’s long visit to your grandma’s that left Regulus, in Evan’s mind, an abandoned wreck. Evan had been watching for the past 8 years as Regulus fawned over you (his best friend) helplessly and you were blind as a damned bat to the whole thing. 

Regulus crossed his arms over his chest wanting to ignore Evan’s question. The less that he had to talk to Evan about his lack of a relationship the better. Regulus wanted nothing more than to ask you to be his girlfriend. He had wanted this since 1st year at Hogwarts. Every time he came close to asking you out, he panicked. Panicked was putting it lightly. Regulus was about two stones short of a panic attack anytime that he came close. 

It didn’t matter that you were the perfect girl for him or that the two of you had been best friends since childhood. He always chickened out. Evan decided to make it his civic duty to try to give Regulus non stop pep talks on trying to get with you.

“I’m hoping to.” 

Regulus finally replied. Evan smirked, knowing that this was probably a bunch of shit that Regulus was saying. If Regulus Black asked you out, Evan would eat his own hat. 

“Well, Barty and I hope you do because you get all emo whenever she goes on a date with a new guy.” 

Regulus’ dark eyes rolled over in his direction with a displeased scowl. 

“Shut up, Evan.” 

Shutting up was something that Evan Rosier wasn’t good at and Regulus was crazy if he thought that he was going to get off of the hook that easy! 

“Repeat after me, Y/n will you go out with me. I’m a wreck without you.” 

Regulus aimed a kick at Evan’s shin making the other boy shriek in pain. 

“Shut up Evan!” 

Evan sighed, his voice becoming a bit more gentle. Apparently, this was what it was going to take. Regulus apparently didn’t understand that Evan only wanted him to be happy. He was tired of seeing Regulus so gloomy whenever you went out with some new mistake that didn’t last long. 

“Dude you need to practice. Whenever you try to ask Y/n out you just make a squeaking noise and she thinks you're catching a cold and tries to take care of you.” 

Regulus again gave Evan a dark “Black family scowl.” Evan didn’t seem to realize just how difficult this was for Regulus. It wasn’t just asking a girl out. It was asking you, his best friend, out. This was huge! What if the relationship failed and Regulus lost his best friend in the world? You were the only person that really understood him. You were the one that comforted him when Sirius ran away. Was Regulus really prepared to potentially lose the one person that he could really be himself with? 

The question that Regulus should have been asking himself was would he be able to handle it if you married someone else? Regulus wasn’t ready to think of “that” step yet but what if some fucker asked you and you said yes? Would he be able to stand there and watch you pledge undying love to some fucker who could never love as he could? 

“I kind of want to kill you Evan.”

Evan didn’t have to ask Regulus what was going through his mind, he knew. He had seen Regulus get super depressed every time you dated someone else. Now that the lot of you were getting older there was a good chance that someone would eventually propose and you would eventually say yes. Regulus would fall apart when that happened. 

“Eh. Who would you bitch to?” 

Before Regulus could reply, he spotted you stepping off of a train. 

“Enough, Evan. Here she comes.” 

You waived the moment that you saw your two best friends standing away from all of the other muggles. 

“Hey!”

You called before running over and throwing your arms around Regulus’ shoulders. He wrapped his arms around you and placed a kiss on your head. 

“Did you have a nice trip?”

Regulus asked as he gently sat you down. You laughed before hugging Evan, who for whatever reason, was looking extra smug about something. Knowing Evan, it was probably something stupid. 

“If you consider going to bingo every other night, eating a shit ton of jello, and being hugged by random old people at the rest home, fun...I had a blast. Every old person thought that I was their granddaughter.” 

You didn’t want to go on the trip to begin with but you parents talked you into it. They used the whole “your grandmother is getting old and won't be around much longer” comment and you agreed to go on month’s long roadshow to visit your granny. 

Looking at Regulus, you realized just how much that you had missed your best friend. Best friend...you sighed at the word. You wanted it to be a lot more than best friends but he didn’t seem interested in that. It didn’t matter how many times that you send signals his way, Regulus seemed oblivious to it all. The best that you could come up with was Regulus didn’t have any interest in any relationship with anyone. He had his head too far in his own role in the war. 

“Yum, jello.” 

Evan said, pulling you from your thoughts. Both Regulus and yourself gave Evan an annoyed expression. 

“If you like jello, you should go visit with me next time. They will want to keep you with your blue eyes and dimples. All the little old ladies will want to say that you are their doll baby grandson.” 

Evan’s smile faded. He didn’t like people touching him as it was and he knew the moment that he stepped foot in that rest home every stranger would be hugging him nonstop. 

“On second thought, no thanks. Well, I came to see you now I have to go get ready for a hot date.” 

Evan focused his attention on Regulus before emphasizing. 

“Get. Ready. For. A. Hot. Date.” 

You had wrapped your arm through Regulus’ and watched as he gave Evan a huge go-to-hell look. 

“Make sure to not wear that muggle Old Spice cologne. You’ll smell like a grandpa.” 

You said, earning a smile from Regulus. Evan, meanwhile, shook his head. 

“You two behave. Oh wait, look who I’m talking to. Later.” 

Evan turned and disappeared into the crowd, leaving both Regulus and yourself with matching frowns. You were the first to speak as you looked up at Regulus. 

“Something is wrong with that boy.” 

Regulus nodded. 

“He was dropped on his head a few times. That’s the best that I can come up with.” 

You spent the rest of the day with Regulus. After Walburga got on her youngest son’s nerves enough, Regulus conned you into going upstairs to his bedroom. Regulus lay back on the bed putting his hands behind his head as you sat down beside him. His curls framed his perfectly handsome face and you wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him. The two of you hadn’t “cuddled” in sometime and at the moment, you would love to curl up in his arms. It didn’t matter how many guys you dated, none of them made you feel the way Regulus did.

“So what else did you do on your trip other than be everyone’s granddaughter?”

Regulus asked. 

“I went on a few dates with this guy from the Netherlands.” 

The moment those words left your lips, Regulus’ eyes snapped open and he glared up at the ceiling. He snorted before sitting up and shaking his head. 

“Of course.” 

You blinked from your place on his bed. 

“What?”

Regulus stood up and stormed over to the window to glare out. If some poor soul on the street suddenly caught on fire, Regulus wouldn’t have been surprised. 

“Nothing.”

You didn’t move nor was you about to back down. Regulus liked to “shut down” when he was mad but you were not a “shut down” kind of person. You wanted to talk about it. 

“Talk to me, Regulus.” 

When Regulus didn’t speak, you finally got off of his bed and went to join him at the window. Wrapping your arms around him from behind, you weren't about to let him get away from you. The two of you were going to talk whether Regulus wanted to or not.

Snuggling your face into his back, you breathed in his scent. How were you supposed to tell Regulus that it was his scent that you smelled when brewing an amortentia potion? How were you supposed to say, “Let's throw away our friendship and  risk it all for love?” 

“I swear, Reg you act like you are jeal…”

BAM! It hit you like a bag of bricks to the stomach. Regulus was jealous! He was just too good or too proud of a man to say it. 

“Thank you for finally seeing things my way.”

Regulus finally commented. His voice was soft but had a hard edge to it that told you how angry he was. Regulus didn’t care to yell at Evan, if he had to. Yelling at Barty was like breathing. Raising his voice at you, however, never happened. You were the person that Regulus would never raise his voice to or put an unloving hand on. There was the one time when the two of you were five and he accidentally knocked you down the front steps and he felt awful for weeks. He sobbed until Walburga fixed up your skinned knees and told Regulus to get a grip on himself. 

She is just fine, son. Now stop this nonsense. 

You smiled at the memory before reaching out and forcing Regulus to look at you.

“How long?” 

“How long what?”

Regulus asked, trying to be stubborn. You rolled your eyes. 

“Regulus Arcturus Black, stop this nonsense. You know what I mean...how long have you felt this way?”

Regulus sighed. 

“Not long...a while...since 1st year at school. I want to be with you but you keep getting with these fucking twats that no nothing about you. They don’t even know what way is up.” 

Your mouth dropped before smiling. Regulus wanted you. He wanted you like you wanted him. Bless him, he had been feeling this way for so many years. There were so many years that the two of you could have been happy together and you wouldn't have dated any of the clowns that you were fixed up with. You could have the boy that you wanted from day 1. 

“No, they don’t. They also are not you.” 

Regulus looked at you with wide eyes as he got the meaning of what you were saying. 

“What if we fuck it all up? Everything that we have...I wouldn’t want to live without you in my life.”

Regulus said, looking down. You quickly moved to wrap your arms around his shoulders. Snuggling your face into his shoulder, you breathed him in again. 

“We wouldn’t fuck it up. It's something that we both want and we both know each other. Like, you know when I am getting my big dick energy and can talk me down…” 

“And you know when I'm getting too dark and can lighten me up.” 

Regulus interrupted before giving you a small smile. You eagerly nodded, cupping his face.

 “See, we have what we need. You’re what I smell in an amortentia potion. You’re what I need, Reg.” 

Regulus wrapped his arms around you holding on tightly. He wasn’t about to let go. If anyone tried to get in the way now, they would be hurting! You were his girl and his alone. Regulus’ days of watching some poor useless fucker flirt with you were over. Those pretty lips were all his now...as they should have been from day one. 

“Funny, you’re what I smell in one too. Your perfume, your shampoo...everything about you. I need you too, Y/n...more than you know.” 

“I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”

Regulus gently titled your face up to his. The first kiss was everything that you expected and more. All of the years of mutual pining, desperation, and jealousy were paying off. Both of you were finally getting what you wanted and nothing else would ever get in the way. 

“I love you.”

Regulus said as he pulled away and nuzzled his forehead against yours. 

“I love you and no one will ever get in the way of my feelings for you again.” 

Wrapping your hands in Regulus’ shirt you pulled him down for another kiss. As soon as his tongue slipped into your mouth, a clapping sound filled the room. Both of you looked up quickly to see Evan perched on Regulus’ bed with a gleeful smile on his face. 

“Oh thank Merlin! Finally! I swear, I thought that I was going to have to tape you two together or something.” 

You turned to Regulus who was scowling at his best male friend. 

“Regulus, why is he here?” 

Regulus didn’t remove his gaze from Evan for a moment before wrapping his arms around your waist ready to apparate elsewhere. 

“No idea, let’s leave.” 

Evan, meanwhile, was still going on and on about how happy he was that the two of you finally got your heads out of your asses and joined the rest of society. You nodded returning your arms to Regulus’ shoulders. 

“Great idea. Let’s go  somewhere...anywhere else so we can be alone.”

Regulus nodded. 

“At last.” 

_________

@amelie-black @truly-insatiable @fandomsxxregulus @regulusheadcanons @realgaytrash @lucasfilms77 @exhsle @spiderxalmighty @teletubiswszpilkach @whymyparentscheckmyphone @jessyballet @knreidy1 @acciosiriusblack @mimisparkle12 @fific7 @rubyroscoe1 @hazncalsgal @quuenofblacks @bennyberry @criminalyetminimal @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @fandom-trash-worth-it @hankypranky @summer-novak @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @knight-of-gleefulness @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @stuckinsaudi1 @untoldshortsofthefandoms @wontlookaway @mycuddlycorner @deanwherescas @mycuddlycorner

[ragazza-paradiso]

this is my ranking of the 2006 esc final after rewatching it all in full HD! to be honest, the highlight was seeing helena paparizou & sakis rouvas in HD, but i guess i can talk about the contestants as well ☺️

24. 🇱🇻 vocal group cosmos - i hear your heart: a capella at eurovision is a bold choice to begin with, but at least get people that can sing in tune… maybe i’m asking for too much.

23. 🇨🇭 six4one - if we all give a little: this is quite possibly the weirdest matched group ever, they have no chemistry & all of them look like they were randomly picked up off the street. the song is just typical love love peace peace, need i say more.

22. 🇮🇱 eddie butler - together we are one: i’m not entirely sure why but this performance gave me the creepiest vibes tbh. just another nothing song.

21. 🇮🇪 brian kennedy - every song is a cry for love: i love my country but, we don’t need ANOTHER bland ballad about love, especially one from a middle aged man.

20. 🇬🇧 daz sampson - teenage life: i mean the song isn’t actually THAT bad as i remembered, maybe a little cringy but as far as mid-00s pop-rap songs go it’s not the worst. i just cannot take daz fucking sampson seriously. and him looking like a drug dealer in that awful yellow tracksuit amongst a bunch of school girls is such a weird concept. (also the audacity of daz to shout “vote for the music” after this performance… but my thoughts on the UK’s attitude to eurovision is already well known if you’ve followed this blog for literally any amount of time)

19. 🇱🇹 lt united - we are the winners: i get it’s a joke entry but i can’t appreciate this one, i find i like joke entries that are a bit tongue in cheek, while this one is just so over the top it’s actually annoying to me. HOW is this lithuania’s best ever result…

18. 🇪🇸 las ketchup - un blodymary: the only reason this isn’t lower is because despite being a train wreck of a performance, it’s so bad that i actually enjoy it. the choreography with office chairs is 10/10. the fact that it’s the same band who just a few years prior had a massive worldwide hit makes it even better.

17. 🇸🇪 carola - invincible: i don’t think this aged very well at all, plus i guess christian schlager just isn’t my thing lol. i’m filing this under my list of reasons why former winners shouldn’t return to eurovision (unless you’re johnny logan).

16. 🇹🇷 sibel tüzün - süper star: i find the chorus of this song quite irritating, and her hair is pretty bad in this performance. usually i enjoy turkey’s entries (especially in the 00s) but this one didn’t connect with me.

15. 🇦🇲 andré - without your love: it’s okay, a little bit dated but that’s to be expected for a pop song, i guess. i like the ethnic elements. not a bad debut.

14. 🇷🇴 mihai trăistariu - tornerò: this is definitely one of the songs that has aged the worst, not just the music but also the costumes & styling. i do like the use of italian though, and it’s very catchy. i think maybe i’m biased because i’m not a big fan of the artist.

13. 🇲🇹 fabrizio faniello - i do: this one is also very dated but i find it to be in a charming way, vocals are a bit suspect, but i think he’s quite charismatic to make up for it.

12. 🇫🇷 virginie pouchain - il était temps: it’s a basic ballad, but enjoyable nonetheless. i think it stands out a bit from most of the other ballads this year, as i can’t understand the lyrics, so it’s better than literally all the ones with awful lyrics at the bottom of my ranking.

11. 🇺🇦 tina karol - show me your love: it’s pretty standard fare for ukraine in eurovision, a nice pop song with a very confident lady performing it. i like it, but not too much.

10. 🇩🇰 sidsel ben semmane - twist of love: this was quite fun, i thought the girl singing was cute & i liked how it was a throwback to the 50s.

9. 🇫🇮 lordi - hard rock hallelujah: this is actually one of my least favourite 21st century winners, but in a weak year it doesn’t end up ranking that low for me. i mean, even if i don’t love it, it’s very iconic. i get why it won in a 100% televoting era.

8. 🇲🇩 arsenium & natalia gordienko - loca: this song is 100% trash & i am 100% okay with letting you know it’s a BIG guilty pleasure of mine. i could do without natalia in literally underwear onstage, but they get extra points for the scooter. plus, i love natalia she is just a ball of energy.

7. 🇩🇪 texas lightning - no no never: this song makes me feel the embodiment of this: 🤠 germany was doing country before the netherlands decided it was cool.

6. 🇲🇰 elena risteska - ninanajna: macedonia gave me everything i could possibly want with this song, another guilty pleasure, but it’s so catchy & 00s, how could i not love it? also, this was their best result for SO LONG (until 2019), which makes me laugh. girlie was giving us all the dance moves.

5. 🇷🇺 dima bilan - never let you go: this song’s main selling point is that it is so much better than believe, but i’m not gonna lie, the mullet is dragging him down. the lady in the piano & his constant dance moves save him though.

4. 🇭🇷 severina - moja štikla: this is my favourite joke song in the history of eurovision simply because it makes no sense. and i love that for her ❤️ my biggest respect for doing all that dancing in that dress & heels. 💃🏻 how am i not gonna love a song with the lyrics “afrika paprika” ???

3. 🇳🇴 christine guldbrandsen - alvedansen: this song is so beautiful, & very distinctly norwegian. i love that they tied traditional ethnic elements into it. the staging is perfect as well, so striking.

2. 🇬🇷 anna vissi - everything: the legend herself, this song is literally everything to me. she’s alone on the stage but she fills it with her energy. the power she possesses ❤️ definitely one of my favourite host entries ever.

1. 🇧🇦 hari mata hari - lejla: this is in my top 3 favourite esc songs of all time, so no surprises. but getting to see it in HD tonight, made me cry. it’s the definition of perfect, but if i write too much about it now i’m gonna start crying again so i’ll stop.

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

She is forever - Part 5

Series Masterlist - Stucky Masterlist - Full Masterlist

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OC, Bucky Barnes x OC (Ophelia Wright)

Summary: When Steve and Bucky went to the army there was a girl they went to school with who wasn’t allowed to go. She was left alone and never thought about again, until Steve sees a carbon copy of her on the streets outside Stark tower and she seems to know them just a little too well to be a stranger.

Word count: 1528

‘I missed you two,‘ Ophelia tells them, ‘it was torture to think you were dead.‘ ‘We missed you too.‘

The night comes faster than the three had thought. The cake is gone, the drinks are drunk, and Ophelia is apologizing for keeping them up so late. Truth be told, Bucky and Steve didn’t plan to stay this long but they don’t mind. ‘Do you have any way to get home,‘ Ophelia asks the two as they start taking things inside for the night. Bucky and Steve share a look that means “I forgot my phone before we left.“ ‘You’re not going to tell me you two still aren’t used to carrying cellphones everywhere,‘ Ophelia laughs, ‘do you have Stark’s number memorized? Maybe he can send a car?‘ The two share another look. She smiles. The two had never been good at remembering phone numbers. ‘Can we maybe stay here?‘ ‘For sure.‘ She shows the two to, what she claims to be, the guest bedroom, which holds a king-sized bed and looks very lived in. Steve turns to her with his arms crossed. ‘You’re not sleeping on the couch,‘ he tells her. ‘But I am,‘ she says, crossing her arms too and stepping towards him confidently, ‘because I only have one bed.’ ‘No, you are sleeping in your own bed,‘ he tells her, ‘Bucky can take the couch, I’ll take the chair.‘ ‘You’re not sleeping in the chair,‘ she laughs at his proposal, ‘you two are sleeping on the bed.‘ ‘Stop it,‘ Bucky sighs, ‘why don’t we just play rock, paper, scissors for the couch and the other two take the bed.‘ ‘No,‘ Ophelia argues, ‘I’m not laying down in a bed with a man who will most definitely crush me.‘ ‘You literally can’t die,’ Bucky objects. ‘I can get hurt,‘ she huffs. ‘Then you make a pillow wall.‘ ‘Fine.‘ ‘Great.‘

‘Now who’s crushing who,‘ Bucky smiles as he feels Ophelia turn over so she can lay half her body on his chest. She feels her cheeks heath up at his comment. He looks down at her with all the adoration in the world. It had been too long since they laid together like this. ‘Shut up you big baby,‘ she mumbles, ‘we used to do this all the time.‘ ‘I feel bad for Steve though,‘ Bucky says as he puts an arm around her. ‘Why?‘ ‘He barely has any space.‘ ‘Then he shouldn’t have insisted you were cheating,‘ Ophelia tells him, ‘this is what we decided on and the first person to chicken out can sleep on the couch.‘ Suddenly, Steve turns to his stomach. He fell asleep first but when he laid on his side there was enough space. Now, Ophelia is being pushed against Bucky even more. ‘Why did I agree to this,’ she whines. Bucky stifles a laugh. ‘Because you love us. Now try to sleep,‘ Bucky kisses the top of her head and closes his eyes. For a second, just a short second, Ophelia takes the moment to look up at Bucky. He looks so peaceful and happy. She remembers how she used to sleep on his chest when he couldn’t sleep. He always told her it felt comfortable to have a weight on his chest to ground him. She understood him once he left. It took a while, but eventually she bought herself a weighted blanket to get back to that feeling. It helped for a while, but nothing is the same as having him there in person. Ophelia gets herself comfortable on Bucky’s chest and finds herself falling asleep sooner than later.

Light falls into Ophelia’s room earlier than any of the three would like. Steve is the first victim, laying at the corner closest to the window. He tries to turn to see where he is, but ends up falling to the floor with a loud thud. The sound wakes Bucky, who almost jumps up throwing Ophelia off him in the process who is just barely able to keep herself on the the bed. It takes a few seconds before any of them realize what’s going on. But then Ophelia starts laughing and lays back down. ‘You’ve gotten jumpy Bucky,‘ she grins. ‘You would too if you were me,‘ he sighs and sits down on the bed. Ophelia reaches for his head to rub his cheek. She then turns over and hangs her head over the side of the bed. ‘How’s the floor Rogers?‘ ‘Floor is fine,‘ he groans, sitting up against the bed. His head next to Ophelia’s. She pats his head and rolls onto her back. ‘Can you see what time it is,‘ Ophelia asks, pointing at the clock hanging on her wall. ‘Ten am.‘ She lets out a satisfied moan and rolls to her back. ‘Wow, I never imagined I could sleep so well with three people on one bed,‘ she smiles, stretching her body. ‘Me neither,‘ Bucky says rubbing his eyes, ‘can we kidnap you?‘ She looks at him with a grin and shakes her head. Steve stands up and grabs his jeans to put on. Ophelia rolls off the bed and opens her closet, rummaging through it to find something to wear. Steve looks over her shoulder and sees a military uniform hanging, but it’s not an American uniform. It’s Dutch. ‘What’s that?‘ She closes the closet door that the uniform is behind. ‘We’ll talk about that later,‘ she says, getting red in the face, ‘turn around, I have to put a bra on.‘ ‘We’ve seen you naked before,‘ Bucky groans, rubbing his eyes. ‘Not the point.‘

At breakfast, the uniform is still bothering Steve. The Netherlands wasn’t a country they were at war with, in fact America helped them, but why would she have a Dutch uniform? Wasn’t she in America the whole time? Did she leave after he left? Ophelia notices his confusion. She sighs and takes his hands over the table to trick him into looking her in the eyes. ‘I wanted to help,‘ she tells him, ‘but the American army didn’t want women. So I climbed on a ship, sailed to Europe, and ended up in the Netherlands. I tricked a soldier into falling in love with me by the end of it and he brought me home with him.‘ ‘Then how did you know about our deaths,‘ Bucky asks. Ophelia looks like there’s a lump in her throat. She hesitates to say anything and looks close to hurt. ‘Peggy Carter send me a letter.‘ ‘Peggy send you a letter,‘ Steve asks surprised, ‘I thought she hated you.‘ ‘I thought so too, but the letter was really sweet,‘ Ophelia tells them, ‘I visited her after the war. She was broken but kept pushing through. She really was a strong woman.‘ Steve nods, not really knowing what to say. There’s tension in the air and they continue to eat in silence. It takes two cups of coffee until words are spoken again. ‘Who’s car is that?‘ The second Ophelia speaks the word, both Bucky and Steve are on high alert. They rush towards her but quickly realize its one of Tony’s cars. ‘I think that’s Tony sending a hint,‘ Bucky groans, ‘I don’t want to leave.‘ Ophelia wraps her arms around his torso as he wraps his around her shoulders. ‘It’s fine, you’re always welcome to come back. I’ll probably stay here for the next few years.‘ ‘Or you could come with us,‘ Steve suggests. ‘No, I think I’ve had enough of the city life for a bit. I’d rather stay here,‘ she smiles, but he can see the pain in her eyes. ‘Just know that you’re also always welcome at our place,‘ Steve tells her. She nods and walks over to him, giving him a big hug as well. They watch the car park in front of the house and a chubby man step out. ‘Hi Happy,‘ Bucky greets. ‘Hello,‘ he responds, ‘Tony thought it was about time you two came back.‘ ‘He’s right,‘ Steve sighs. ‘He also said there is a room free if the lady wishes to come with.‘ ‘Thanks, but I’m staying here for a while.‘ Happy nods. ‘He told me you’d say that,‘ he smiles, ‘but the offer keeps standing.‘ ‘Thank him for me.‘

‘So how was the excursion,‘ Tony asks with sarcasm dripping from his word while he doesn’t even look at the men who come walking in. ‘It was good to talk,‘ Steve says, looking at Bucky for a sign of agreement. Bucky nods at him. ‘And which one of your rooms will Ophelia be sleeping in?‘ ‘I don’t think she’ll be joining us. At least not for a couple of years.‘ ‘Oh yeah?‘ Tony shows them the tablet in his hands, ‘isn’t that her stepping out of that car?‘ The two look at each other for a second... And then run to the entrance of Stark Tower. Ophelia’s face lights up when she sees the super soldiers run towards her. ‘Hi guys,‘ she gleams, ‘you forgot something.‘ She holds up her hands. Steve and Bucky look confused, but hold up their hand anyway. Instead of dropping something in their hands, she grabs their hands. ‘Me.‘

[toomanyfamdom]

Many Shades of Green

I have to say some thank yous before I post this.

Thank you to @jane-fucking-seymour , @ichlugebulletsandcornnuts , @millie1536 and @bessie-bass-on-the-bass for being inspirations to me. Without them I wouldn’t have thought of starting to write. They never got mad if I sent them random messages and goodness knows what time for them and have kindly corrected me when necessary. So thank you.

But the person I owe the most to is @the-quiet-winds . I’ve talked most closely with them and they are an incredible writer and the first person to encourage me to basically get myself together and write something for goodness sake. They’ve been incredibly kind, never minding the annoying messages I send them and giving me her permission to write my own interpretations of her stories some co-written with @ichlugebulletsandcornnuts . So for this, I thank you.

This is my first publicized work and I’m open to constructive criticism. This is based on the personal head cannon I mentioned about Anne Boleyn so I decided I would just write about it instead. Please be patient with me. This may seem a little unrealistic but bear with please.

Also, does anyone want a tag list?

Tw: none that I can think of

Word count: 1318

***

All was calm in the queens household.

Which was weird, especially because the ladies-in-waiting were over for the evening for their monthly get together.

It wasn’t the only time the ladies were in the house, they only lived two doors down the road but it was the only scheduled, constant gathering.

They were all gathered in the living room, watching a movie, eating - or in some cases throwing - popcorn when one of the phones began to ring. Catherine, being the closest got to it first.

“Hello?” she answered, face brightening as the other person spoke, “Sasha! Give me one second, I’ll put you on speaker.” Sasha was their manager so if she phoned the house, it was something for everyone.

“Hello?” Sasha’s voice came through the speaker.

“Hiya love, you have all of us here,” Jane told the woman.

“Great, makes my life easier,” they all laughed, “I have some very exciting news for you all.”

“Don’t leave us hanging babes, tell us,” Anna laughed.

“You’ve been invited for a European tour.”

Silence. Then all hell broke loose.

“Are we really going on tour?”

“It would be so nice to go back home.”

“That I agree with, Bess.”

“I’d love to back to France.”

“Same but with Spain.”

“I’d love to go where you grew up Catherine.”

“How cool, we get to travel and still perform. Awesome!”

“Agreed, Kat.”

“That’s a lot of new rigs to learn.”

“You’ll be fine Joey.”

“Where are we going, Sasha?” Jane was the only person with something sensible to say.

“You’ll be starting in Portugal and working your way through Spain, France, Italy, Germany, the Netherlands and ending in Sweden.”

“That’s so many places,” Kat was in awe.

“So many different languages,” Cathy noted.

“We’ll have to see about getting interpreters,” Sasha added.

“Well you have Anna, Catherine, Anne, Maggie and I who can speak German, Spanish and French respectively,” Cathy said, “And Bessie-”

“I can speak Italian,” the bassist confirmed.

“Right,” she nodded, “so it’s just Portuguese, Dutch and Swedish we’ll need help with.”

“I’ll look into interpreters but no promises,” Sasha’s voice was uncertain.

“I’ll learn them.”

Every head turned to the queen who had just spoken.

“Are you sure, Anne? That’s a lot of work,” Maria questioned her friend.

“Well I’m already learning other languages and from what I’ve heard Portugese and Spanish are kind of similar and German, Dutch and Swedish come from the same family of languages so I wouldn’t mind. If it gives us some piece of mind,” Anne scratched her neck and giggle slightly, “I’ve been looking for some new languages to learn anyway so this just made my search so much easier.”

Only if you’re sure sister,“ Maggie looked concerned.

"I’m sure,” the woman in question affirmed, pulling her sister into her arms, “I promise if it gets too much, I’ll stop. Is that okay with everyone?”

Various affirmations were made and Sasha said, “Thank you Anne, that’s one less thing to worry about. Just letting you know, your opening date is in six months. Bye.”

“Thank you Sasha, bye,” Catherine hung up the phone, “well then, let’s get back to our movie, shall we?

***

Four months later and the ladies-in-waiting were over again. Maria, Joan, Jane and Catherine were all in the kitchen making the dinner together, Anna, Kat and Bessie were playing an intense game of Mario Kart and Anne, Maggie and Cathy were in Anne’s room.

"This is incredible,” said Cathy from where she was sitting on the floor by Anne’s desk with the queens many notebooks sat surrounding her, all in different colours and languages ranging from English to German to Swedish, “How many languages did you say?”

“Nine,” Anne said, looking up from where she was lying upside down off the edge of her bed reading some Greek poetry, dangerously close to kicking Maggie in the face from where she was drawing in a random sketch book she found, “and I’m working on a tenth, although it’s a little harder, see that dark blue one behind you? I’m not fluent, that would be impossible in four months but I’ll be able to help in most situations.”

“That’s amazing,” Cathy smiled at her, “now, come help me put these away.”

Anne closed her book and set it gently on the floor putting her hands down and kicking herself off the bed and over onto her feet. She took the books from a laughing Cathy and went round the other side of the divider she had put in her room and came back around to the girls, flopping at Cathy and Maggie’s feet, back to her original position.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself one of these days,” Maggie didn’t even look up from her drawing.

“I know,” Anne winked at Cathy to have the pair laugh at her despairingly.

“You’ll have to teach me some of those languages when we get time,” Cathy said, “Its so nice to see this other side of you and I’m so happy you feel comfortable enough to show me this side.”

Anne sat up, “You two are my nearest and dearest, how could I not be comfortable around you?”

The trio smilled at each other and all of their phones buzzed.

“Did you two get this as well?” asked Maggie.

“From Sasha,” Cathy had already read the message and was looking at it with wide eyes.

“Is it bad or?” Anne’s phone was out of reach.

“The tour’s been cancelled,” Maggie told her.

Anne bolted up straight. “What?! What do you mean?” she asked increadiusly.

“Exactly what she said.”

“What on…” Anne trailed off then jumped off the bed and running downstairs, “Familly meeting in the kitchen!”

Anna jumped when she heard Anne’s shout. The German looked over at her two companions.

“If Anne’s calling a family meeting,” started Kat.

“Something is definitely wrong,” Bessie finished.

“Better not keep the hurricane waiting,” the three went to the kitchen, meeting Maggie and Cathy in the hall and were met with a pacing Anne Boleyn.

“Perfect, we’re all here now,” Anne said, “Have a seat.” She gestured towards the table.

“Anne, what’s wrong?” Jane asked as softly as she could.

“Nothing’s wrong per say, just changes, I don’t like sudden changes so yeah,” Anne muttered to her self. She stopped took a deep breath then said, “Check your phones.”

They all did - except for Maggie and Cathy who tried to calm Anne down a bit. “I have a message from Sasha,” said Kit a bit confused, “why is she messaging me?”

“I have one too,” said Maria

“I think we all do,” Jane said in a grim voice, reading the message.

“Is it bad?” Joan looked over to her former mistress, scared to read it.

Anne took a deep breath, “The tour’s been cancelled.”

“What?!” Katherine almost jumped out of her seat, “But why? All the prep was going so well and we were getting venues just fine.”

“Says here that our sponsor backed out,” Anna said, “If that’s true, there’s no way the tour could be funded babes.”

“You did all that learning for nothing,” Catherine realised the root of Anne’s distress.

Anne visibly deflated, leaning against the counter top, head in her hand. “Its not even that. Well, it is that a little but,” she sighed, “You may not know or remember this from our past lives but I thoroughly enjoy learning. Languages especially, they’re challenging. But I also love learning with a reason. I probably would’ve learnt the languages anyways but the tour gave me a reason. It gave me constancy. And that’s been torn from underneath my feet.”

Suddenly there was a Kitty sized person embracing Anne. “I think its really cool how much you’ve managed to learn Annie. Nine foreign languages? That’s incredible!”

“Well, now I have an excuse to keep learning yeah? Look on the bright side!” Anne returned her cousin’s hug, “Thanks sister.”

[servinglemonade]

My first reaction to Disney +

Hello... It’s been a while since I have posted here. I had exams, then summer vacation and then I finally started college! So now that I’ve settled in I thought it would be fun to give you my thoughts on Disney+! Yes, you read that right! Disney+ is here... in the Netherlands. Exclusively. Disney is having a free trial here which started on September 12th and goes on until launch day on November 12th!

So let’s dive into Disney+ 

Interface & Features

The interface is pretty standard. It looks like Netflix, but obviously with a nice Disney touch! The home page looks really great in my opinion. On top, there is a header that showcases one movie per category (Disney, Pixar, Marvel, Star Wars and National Geographic). You can browse per category as well. When you hover over the brand you get a little animation. Disney has a castle with fireworks, Pixar has the clouds, Marvel has their intro, Star Wars has stars and National Geographic a scenic mountain view. On the search page, you also have several collections like the Princess Collection (all princess movies and series) or Disneynature (all Disneynature movies). Hopefully, they’ll add some more soon. It’s a handy feature in my opinion. You can also create a watchlist. 

I find the movie-watching experience great as well. It’s simple and sleek. You can choose from multiple languages for both audio and subtitles. It’s also really nice to have all the movies in HD. Some of them are even in 4K/HDR! These are mostly Marvel, Star Wars, Disney Live-Action movies and 2 animations (Ralph Breaks The Internet and Aladdin!). 

There is an awesome feature that I stumbled upon while I was doing my research for this post. You can change the way the subtitles, from the color to the font. Even the opacity of the background and the font size! I did see some people complaining about subtitles. I didn’t mind them, however, the fact that Disney is truly listening to the users and trying to fix all these issues is great! Two thumbs up for ya Disney! The last thing I want to touch on here is the extras for the movies. These extras mostly include deleted scenes and trailers. However, some of them have some really cool behind the scenes stuff. The making of Beauty and The Beast, Staging The Ball from the Cinderella Live-action and the making of Sleeping Beauty just to name a few! Really great that all of those are on Disney+ as well.

Profiles

Just a quick little thing I wanted to touch on before I go to the content. You can choose from a significant number of Disney characters for your profile picture. Ranging from Disney Classics to Marvel & Star Wars to villains and princesses and even Disney Channel!

There are so many to choose from! It’s overwhelming. Here are just a few

Now it’s time for the most fun part: the content. All of the originals are not on the service yet, those will come out when Disney+ officially launches on November 12th.

Disney

What isn’t on this page?! The amount of content is so incredible. And not even everything is on it yet! Here you can find your classic Disney animations from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs to Ralph Breaks The Internet. All in glorious HD or even 4K sometimes. They also have some true Mickey Mouse classics like Steamboat Willie. All the Live-action movies are included here as well. From the more recent remakes (even Dumbo is on here already! If you haven’t seen it yet, please do) to absolute classics like The Princess Diaries, Mary Poppins and all the Pirates of The Caribbean movies. If you grew up with Disney Channel, all your favorite movies and shows can be found on Disney+ now! Hannah Montana, Wizards of Waverly Place, Camp Rock, The Cheetah Girls, That’s so Raven, Halloweentown, Descendants and so many more (all the seasons and sequels for everything). For the little ones, there’s some Disney Junior content, like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

Pixar

All the Pixar animated classics are here. From Toy Story to The Incredibles 2. Hopefully Toy Story will be streaming soon too. If you love the Pixar shorts, you’ll be happy to hear that these are all on Disney+! Like Piper, Bao, Knick Knack, For The Birds and more. There are even shorts with characters from some of your favorite Pixar movies like Monsters Inc, Ratatouille, Cars and Toy Story.

Marvel

I just want to thank Disney and Marvel for basically having all the MCU movies here on Disney+! From Iron Man to Captain Marvel. Most of them in 4K as well. And a surprise… Avengers Endgame will hit the service tomorrow!! I’m already preparing to cry my eyes out again. The only movies that are not on the service yet are The Incredible Hulk and Spider-Man Homecoming. I really hope Spidey will be on Disney+ as well. I need Far From Home in 4K. Besides MCU related content, you can also watch multiple Marvel animation shows. Like a lot of Spider-Man shows, Rocket and Groot, X-Men, Fantastic Four and many more. Some of the newer live-action Marvel shows are also on the service, like Agent Carter and Agents of SHIELD.

Star Wars

Now for Star Wars. I started watching the movies back in the summer. Disney+ was not being tested yet. So I was excited that all of the entire Star Wars saga can be found here! From Episode I The Phantom Menace all the way to Episode VIII The Last Jedi. It’s been really great to have 1 place to watch these movies.  You can find the spin-off movies Rogue One and Solo here too! You can also watch some animated shows like Star Wars The Clone Wars, Star Wars Rebels and lots of Lego Star Wars shorts.

National Geographic

To be honest, I haven’t anything from Nat Geo yet. However, they do have a very exciting original coming tomorrow! However, they have Brain Games! I used to love that show, so I’ll definitely watch that. They have some amazing documentaries. Drain The Ocean, Titanic 20 years later and Free Solo just to name a few.

Disney+ originals at launch

Here is a list + some thoughts:

Star Wars: The Mandalorian (series) (trailers looked very good, so I’m excited for this) Lady and The Tramp (movie) (again trailers looked amazing, great cast as well! Really excited for this!) High School Musical The Musical The Series (series) (yes, that is the actual title, not sure about this one as a massive HSM fan, however, I will check it out) Encore! (series) (not really interested in this one, might watch it one day) The World According to Jeff Goldblum (series) (this is the nat geo original I was telling you about. Such a great idea, who doesn’t love Jeff?! Will watch this 100%) Noelle (movie) (a Christmas movie?! Yes please, I’m in full Christmas mode already so bring it on) Marvel Hero Project (series) (might watch at some point after I have watched all the other things I want to see first) The Imagineering Story (series) (as a huge Disney Parks fan, I might be most excited about this, so that will be the first thing I will watch tomorrow) Pixar In Real Life (series) (I didn’t even know about this until a week ago, looks like a lot of fun, so I will watch this for sure)

The Disney+ app

The app has been pretty solid. It basically works the same as the web version, it’s just on your phone or tablet. The app also has a download feature. Which means you can download anything on the service and watch it offline. How handy is that!  If you have a chrome cast, the app is a must. You can cast all of the movies and shows on your TV, which is great because you won’t have to look on your small screen.

Some issues

This was obviously a test version of the final product so it wasn’t perfect from the get-go. The app struggled in the beginning with the continue watching feature. When you were watching a show, it didn’t let you watch the next episode from your continue watching. However, this has been fixed and now works like you would expect.  The other big issue was the chrome cast compatibility. When I had just subscribed for the trial it would start normal, however, after a while, it would freeze and the image would get all distorted. So that was pretty annoying. Lots of people were having this issue and by magic, it was fixed a couple weeks later and now works as expected!

Is it worth it?

Now if you either love Disney, Pixar, Marvel or Star Wars or you love everything, yes it is worth it. Even if you just love Marvel and/or Star Wars, I feel like it’s worth it. You have The Mandalorian coming at launch and so many more in the years to come. Like Falcon and The Winter Soldier, WandaVision, Loki, an Obi-Wan show, and so much more. So maybe if you’re waiting for that, you can get it when those shows will be on Disney+. Plus for the price, it’s a pretty sweet deal. Just €6.99 per month or €69.99 per year (which if you calculate it, can save you €13.89 per year). I love everything so for me it can’t get any better than this. Lots of the movies I watched on Netflix were mostly Disney or Marvel movies, so for me, this service is perfect.

Wow, this was a long one. If you have read it all the way through, thank you so much! I hope it was informative.

So how excited are you for Disney+? Will you be getting it at launch or will you wait? Plus if you are getting it, what will you watch first?

Have a magical day!

XO 

Yenai

[borisbubbles]

14. Cyprus

Eleni Foureira - “Fuego” Runner-up

What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing and that resistance is overcome. --Friedrich Nietzsche

Judging by that quote, Eleni must be a very happy woman because she has overcome a LOT. She entered Eurovision with a slew of drawbacks: As a sexually confident woman with a sultry song, she was always going to inspire contempt. As a fugitive Albanian, the Greek support other Cypriot entries had would be only conditional for Eleni at best. Her voice (or apparent lack thereof), of course, was a major point of discussion, among Greeks and Eurovision Tumblr Bloggers alike (ahem). As someone who was hyped and pimped by her Loud Obnoxious Fanbase as someone better than she actually was, she was always going to alienate neutrals by proxy.

So going into this year, Eleni faced a fairly uphill battle. Guess what?

She fucking slayed it.

From the moment this woman, no, this GAZELLE, serenly glided onto the stage, unfazed, confident and battle-ready, she was snatching weaves left, right and centre. Any man would pay the price of sweet surrender, for the promise in her eyes it was so tender. She provided a action-pumped show that was captivating, mesmerizing even, for a full three minutes. My God, did “Fuego” look good. 

Out of all the acts that could’ve won the Sasha Jean-Baptiste Raffle, I’m glad “Fuego” did because Eleni absolutely was the one whom I felt needed it the most. Partially because Eleni is an utter gem of a person. She’s the epitome of the Lovable Dimwit Archetype (”Eleni what does your song mean?” “it means... yeah yeah, fire ^__^”) Mostly because Eleni had two pretty big problems: She has a fairly crappy voice and she has a fairly crappy song.

The voice I don’t mind though. Yeah, it’s not as crisp as the rest of the top five (literally crisp if we count Moro’s, whose voice sounds like someone crushing doritos with their bare hands), but Eleni’s vocals being shit was telegraphed way in advance so idek how you could be shocked at this fucking stage. For all the buzz it generated, I expected way worse? Eleni’s vocals don’t detract from the experience and at times even enhance it. Her voice just... withers at the funniest of moments:

And then the disaster note gets echoed around the Altice Arena TWICE <3 (also “Yeah Eyes of a Linus <3)

The song, however, I mind significantly more. Surely Cyprus made the most out of what they were given and “Fuego” was an excellent frame for that brilliant act, but Dear God. I’ve said it several times before, but “Fuego” would make an excellent winner in two-thousand-and-EIGHT, but not two-thousand-and-fucking-EIGHTEEN. Even by Eurovision’s hopelessly antiquated Musical standards (”Hey guys we found out about this CRAZE that’s sweeping the musical scene we should add it to all our entries” “what’s it called?” “Dubstep” -- Eurovision in 2013), “Fuego” is hopelessly dated. It’s a nice throwback to the halcyon days of the Eastern Miniskirted Goddess (and “Fuego” is better than, say, “Secret Combination” and “Düm Tek Tek”), but this is not even remotely near “My Number One”, “Qele Qele” or “Shady Lady” levels of glorious hip-shaking femdom imo. 

“Fuego”’s utter lack of originality also came to the attention of the Eurosnobs who began disliking Eleni for... the fucking wrongest, stupidest reasons why am I not surprised? “UM SHE’S LIKE BEYONCE HOW AWFUL” First of all, Beyoncé doesn’t fucking have a monopoly on this type of music, Second of all, you’re making it sound as if being like Queen Bay is a bad thing??? Third of all,  STFUUUU!!! WHY EVEN WATCH EUROVISION IF YOU’RE NOT WILLING TO BASK IN THE GLORY OF THIS DESPERATE SLUTPOP ANTHEM

At the end of the gay, I really like “Fuego”. Well, that is to say, I like what it became on the Eurovision stage, but that’s ultimately what matters most. Despite the hate she got, Eleni absolutely deserved to finish as high as she did based on her live performances. On the flipside, if I were to never listen to “Fuego” again, I wouldn’t miss it, at all. Now that we’re ready to fully move on to the next tier, I do have *higher* “spam replay button on Youtube” standards that “Fuego” sadly, does not meet. STILL A BETTER UNDERDOG STORY THAN NETTA THO

RANKING SO FAR:

14. Cyprus (Eleni Foureira - “Fuego”)

15. United Kingdom (SuRie - “Storm”)

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak  - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We Got Love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Josef - “Lie to me”)

FOOTNOTES

1) I would argue that Eleni probably had the best underdog story out of everyone this year. This year had plenty of them, many of which are still in this ranking (Ieva, Eugent, DoReDoS, etc), but there really is something to be said about the constant barrage of persecution, xenophobia and mockery Eleni had to deal with and overcome in both LIFE and this contest. Pity she wasn’t a chicken woman or it would’ve won her the contest.

2) In case anyone wonders, I was pretty much “France or Estonia or DIE” for pretty much the entire season, so as you can imagine, I wasn’t too impressed with the top five we got (um, yeah not like I didn’t already boot 4/5 of them lul) Out of the DIRE top five we were given, Eleni probably should have won? (I loved Germany -obviousspoiler- but moreso because they didn’t win) Ugh I can’t with this year sometimes.

[inaheartbeat-phff]

Chapter 20 Sneak Peak

The next chapter is a very long one, and for making you guys wait so long for it, here’s a sneak peak. 

Friday, January 30 2015, 7:30am

St. Mary's Hospital, Private Wing  

The birds chirped outside Arabella's hospital window along with morning traffic. Harry looked out the window to see an empty road, which wont be empty once the news got out that Arabella was in an accident last night. Her communication's team worked hard all night to produce a press release as well as a post for her social media accounts detailing what had happened which will be released at 8 that morning.

'Half an hour before the chaos starts.' Harry thought to himself. His grandmother and grandfather went back last night after the doctors gave their news with the promise to come back again today once they got their rest. The same goes with his father, brother and sister in law. Willem-Alexander however is in the room next door getting some much needed rest.

Harry on the other hand, for the life of him, can't shut his eye for a second. He did fell asleep for a couple of hours next to Arabella's bed holding her hand but then he woke up at seven with a nightmare that Arabella died. It was safe to say that he couldn’t go back to sleep afterwards.

Willem-Alexander called Maxima after they received the news from the doctors and she is set to fly to London and arrive by lunch time after telling the girls about what had happened.

Jane told Harry that they have informed Arabella's cousins, grandmother, godparents, and best friends about what had happened last night. They also kept them up to date with what's happening. Jane also told Harry that they are adamant of coming to London today, even though a lot of them have countries to run, to see Arabella for themselves.

It kind of opened Harry's eyes a little to see so many people cared for his fiancé. Of course in true Jane fashion, she listed down the people who said that are flying to London to visit Arabella the next few days.

HRH Princess Beatrix of the Netherlands - Princess Arabella's Grandmother

HRH Prince Constantijn of the Netherlands - Princess Arabella's uncle

HRH The Grand Duke of Luxembourg - Princess Arabella's Godfather

HRH The Grand Duchess of Luxembourg - Princess Arabella's Godmother

HRH The Hereditary Grand Duke of Luxembourg - Princess Arabella's best friend

HRH The Hereditary Grand Duchess of Luxembourg - Princess Arabella's best friend

HM The King of Sweden - Princess Arabella's Godfather

HM The Queen of Sweden - Princess Arabella's Godmother

HRH Crown Princess Victoria, Duchess of Västergötland - Princess Arabella's friend

HRH Prince Daniel, Duke of Västergötland - Princess Arabella's friend

HRH Prince Carl Philip, Duke of Värmland - Princess Arabella's friend

HRH Princess Sofia, Duchess of Värmland - Princess Arabella's friend

HRH Princess Madeleine, Duchess of Hälsingland and Gästrikland - Princess Arabella's best friend

Mr. Christopher O'Neill - Princess Arabella's best friend

HRH The Princess of Hanover - Princess Arabella's Godmother

Ms. Charlotte Casiraghi - Princess Arabella's best friend

HM Queen Margrethe II of Denmark - Princess Arabella's close family friend

HRH The Crown Prince of Denmark, Count of Monpezat - Princess Arabella's close friend

HRH The Crown Princess Mary, Countess of Monpezat - Princess Arabella's close friend

HM The King of Norway - Princess Arabella's close family friend

HM The Queen of Norway - Princess Arabella's close family friend

HM The Queen of Spain - Princess Arabella's close family friend

HM The Queen of Jordan - Princess Arabella's close family friend

And of course, that doesn’t include Harry's family and their friends. All in all, Harry feels like the next few days are going to be a long one with a lot of love pouring in for Arabella.

Harry was still looking out the window when he hears a groan from behind him. Spinning so fast, he turned around and rushed to Arabella's bedside and held her hand. Arabella furrowed her eyebrows before groaning some more. She then opened her eyes for a little bit before shutting them again.

Arabella tried to open her eyes for the second time and squinted a little bit because the lights was quite bright. She opened her mouth to say something but realize that her throat is dry.

"Water." She rasped. Quickly Harry pushed the button that pushes her upper body up and brought the glass closer to her mouth. The glass already has a straw connected to it, as do all hospital glasses for the patients and Arabella took a few sips. "Thank you." She said much clearer.

"Hey." She smiled at Harry. "What happened?"

"You were in an accident babe." Harry said smiling while holding her hand. "You had to have surgery. I was so scared I was going to lose you."

"What?" Arabella furrowed her eyebrows? "Aw baby, I'm here now okay?"

"I love you so much, do you know that?" Harry said, holding Arabella's hand close to him.

"Of course I know that, babe. I love you too." Arabella told Harry before pulling him in for a kiss.

Their kiss was not short, nor was it a make out session. It was a kiss that shows how much one loves the other and how much they can't live without the other. Even though Harry could kiss her all day long, he knows that he has to go alert Willem-Alexander that his daughter is awake, as well as the nurses and doctors who, throughout the night, made sure that she was recovering and that there is nothing wrong with her.

Harry reluctantly pulled away. "As much as I love kissing you, I have to go tell your father that you're awake and everybody else."

"My father's here?" Shocked, Arabella said. "When did he arrive?"

"About an hour after the accident. He flew in as soon as he heard what happened. Maxima waited till morning to tell the girls, before flying over. Her flight should arrive before noon." Harry said before pecking her lips once more.

"I'm going to call them now, get everything into motion. Granny and Grandad are coming at nine after breakfast, the news are going to be released about the accident at eight so photographers and well-wishers will start pouring in. Scotland Yard are barricading outside and prepared for the crowds. Will and Kate are coming tonight, they plan to wait until everything calms down a bit. Dad and Camila are coming in the evening and we've informed everybody who is concerned." Harry told Arabella.

"Like who?" Arabella asked, still a little delirious from the anesthesia.

"Your godparents, their children, your best friends, your relatives, and basically every office of a monarch in the world. Not all confirmed to come, but a few get well soon gifts have arrived early this morning." Harry said walking towards the door. "They're all in the other room, the gifts. It’s going to get chaotic around here, you should get some rest while I call the doctors."

With that, Harry left the room and walked to the nurses station on his way to Willem-Alexander's room as well as Arabella's household staff's room.

"Arabella's awake." Harry leaned over the counter a little.

"I'll notify the doctors right away." The nurse smiled before picking up the pager. With a nod, Harry continued on his journey to Willem-Alexander's room.

Knocking a few times, Harry waited for his future father-in-law to answer the door. It's rude to just barge in without being allowed to enter, first rule that Gerrit told Harry during his etiquette refresher. Especially if the person on the other side is a higher rank than you. Once Harry marries Arabella, this rule applies to Kings, Queens and Heads of states only.

"Come in." Willem-Alexander exclaimed after a few moments. Harry took that queue to enter the room.

"Harry my boy, what can I help you with?" Willem-Alexander asked from his seat on the couch. While he was waiting for his daughter to wake up, he was doing some paperwork about his country that was brought over.

"Arabella woke up a few minutes ago." Harry said smiling a bit. Hearing that, Willem-Alexander quickly put the papers he have in his hands on the coffee table infront of him and rise from his seat.

"She's awake? How is she?" Willem-Alexander asked taking long strides towards the door where Harry was currently standing.

"Yeah she's awake. I just informed the nurses to page the doctors and I guess they'll examine her once we're there as well." Harry told the King of the Netherlands.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go!" Willem-Alexander said passing Harry and out the door walking towards Arabella's room in a really fast paced. Harry smiled before following behind him. When he passed the nurses station, he asked them to tell Arabella's staff the good news before following behind Willem-Alexander.

Entering the room, Willem-Alexander took big strides to his daughter's bed and hugged her tightly.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again young lady." Willem-Alexander whispered to Arabella as he hugged her. "I love you so much Dochter."

[thegreatwhiteferret]

87 Random Questions

I was tagged by @edwardtheloser because JJ just wants the world to burn. 💖💖💖

1. Where do you live? I currently live in Delaware...yeah, the tiny ass state everyone forgets about.

2. One cool item you own? I’m trying to think of something really deep and meaningful...I have a Texas charm with golden star on it that I wear with a cross on a chain around my neck and never take off. 

3. Moon or stars? The stars (High key one of the things I miss most about Texas)!

4. Places you’d like to travel to? Either to London or to Disney...both are related to Peter Pan for reasons.

5. Favorite song? I cannot possibly pick just one song...music is everything. Praying by Kesha has me all sorts of in the feels right now.

6. Do you have any fears? I am afraid of so many things. I am afraid of the dark, germs, going into anaphylaxis, letting people down, not being good enough...I should stop now, right?

7. Do you feel different than you did last year? I mean I guess. The past year has been really bad for me, but I’ve just recently started feeling really hopeful about the future.

8. What is your race? I am white as white can be. I’m 75% Canadian (25-British, 25-Irish, and 25-French with a bit of Native American mixed in) and then 25% mystery that is most likely German or Dutch. 

9. Pet peeves? People being assholes when they disagree with something and people smacking when they eat. (These two just stuck out, there are more, I’m petty as hell)

10. Any siblings? I have 3 sisters.

11. Are you a gamer? Only if The Sims and Dream Daddy count. Hand eye coordination is not there.

12. Sexual orientation? Pansexual Princess 

13. Does a broken mirror mean bad luck? I don’t know, but I will steer the fuck clear!

14. What do you feel is your mental age? Depends on the day. Sometimes I feel like I’m sixteen some days I feel like I’m forty. There is no consistency. 

15. How old were you when you started dating? My family was super strict, so no dating officially until after I went to college.

16. Where do you do most of your online shopping? Forever21 and Amazon.

17. Favorite animal? Bears

18. What’s one film from the 2000s that you like? Psssssh, so many. School of Rock and Mean Girls were my shit though.

19. What’s your favorite scary movie? IT. I am a scaredy cat, so the fact that I love this movie so much is amazing.

20. Fun fact about yourself? I convinced my 5th grade teacher that I had elaborately schemed to get rid of my baby sister when I was only three years old to avoid actually having to write a serious paper. I won a damn award for my story too.

21. Shoe size? 9.5 or a 10 in Women's. 

22. Which fictional character(s) do you relate to the most? Junie B. Jones. She’s a real hero of mine. (JK, Stanley Uris and I are one in the same).

23. Where do you see yourself living in ten years? Philly, Boston, or Chicago. I need some excitement in my life.

24. Ever wore clothes that were just wayyy too tight? I mean I wore a corset around just for the hell of it the either night so....

25. What’s on your mind? How many stories I have in my queue to write and the fact that I am not doing that right now...whoops.

26. Are you religious? I’d still identify as Christian, but I have a lot of questions. I also don’t believe in pushing your religion on people, that’s an asshole move.

27. How tall are you? 5’8″

28. Favorite band? HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO PICK ONE??? Jesus, I’m going to see AJR in a few weeks so let me give them a shoutout.

29. Do you remember 2009? Yes. It sucked.

30. Cats or dogs? DOGS! You can fight me on this one @edwardtheloser they are freaking flawless and amazing.

31. Fruit or vegetables? Por que no los dos??

32. Do you want to get married? Yes. That would be nice.

33. Do you want children? I DO. So so bad. It’s a problem.

34. Flamingos or peacocks? Meh. Birds. (Only difference between me and Stan tbh)

35. What superpower do you wish you had? Telekinesis or Shapeshifting.

36. Are you a germ freak? Yes. I have severe food allergies and I break out when I touch the allergens, so I kind of have to be. Also, people are gross.

37. Did swearing baby, ghost car, or ghost caught on tape scare you as a kid? I don’t know what any of these are...

38. Do you prefer sweet or salty? Por que no los dos?

39. Tea or coffee? Give me all of the non carbonated caffeine.

40. Are you superstitious? Yes. I knock on wood. I won’t walk under ladders or on cracks in the sidewalk. I do counting things as coping mechanisms. I’m so bad.

41. Do you like stripes? Sure, but plaid is better.

42. Favorite shows as a kid? The Big Comfy Couch, Rugrats, The Wiggles, Doug, Arthur, Zoom...I liked TV a lot.

43. Favorite shows growing up? Lizzie McGuire, Boy Meets World, That’s So Raven, Sabrina the Teenage Witch...again, I liked TV a lot.

44. Favorite musical? I LOVE MUSICALS. Hamilton, Hairspray, High School Musical, Rocky Horror, Annie. All of them. RENT is my absolute favorite though, I bawled my eyes out when I saw it live.

45. Favorite movie? Inglorious Basterds, IT, and Goonies.

46. Birthday? October 1st.

47. Are you a grammar Nazi? Yes. It kills me not to correct people.

48. Ever gotten drunk? Hahahahaha. Yes.

49. Do you have a carrier bag? I switch between a small backpack, a big satchel bag and a small hot pink cross body purse. As long as my epi pen and wipes fit, I’m good.

50. What would you do if you were the opposite gender for a day? Some very NSFW things...I’m not sorry.

51. If you were the opposite gender what would you change your name to? Oliver, Ollie for short.

52. What song is stuck in your head? The Kids Aren’t Alright by The Offspring

53. Celebrity crush? Hilary Knight, Taron Egerton, Chris Evans, Hayley Williams, Joe Keery...so many. I love all the people.

54. If you could live in a non-English speaking country, where would it be? Sweden

55. Are you a good dancer? I try...

56. Have any allergies? Gluten and Dairy. Deathly allergic and people think it’s just a diet fad smh...

57. Any bad habits? Procrastinating and shoving my feelings down.

58. Ever broke a bone? Yes. My mom broke my leg when I was three, we fell down the stairs and if she hadn’t pushed me behind her and landed on my leg I would have gone head first into a brick wall. My mommy saved my life. 💖

59. Are you a city or country person? Both. I like the feel of the country with the convenience of the city.

60. Do you like your home country? United States of Go Fuck Yourself

61. Sunflowers or daisies? Sunflowers 

62. Tulips or roses? Tulips, they remind me of living in the Netherlands as a kid.

63. Oak or maple? Maple. I’m Canadian, eh.

64. Disney or Nickelodeon? BOTH! I WILL NOT CHOOSE!

65. WYR be obese or anorexic? I’m in recovery for both anorexia and bulimia and have been since I was twelve years old, body dysmorphia since I was seven because I’ve been overweight my entire life, and this question can go fuck itself. Jesus fucking Christ. Those are serious issues not choices. Fuck.

66. WYR be over 6 feet or under 5 feet? Under 5 feet, I hate being tall.

67. Rubies or sapphires? Sapphires

68. Are you stubborn? I am so stubborn that it hurts.

69. Have you been in scouts/Girl Scouts? Yes! And I loved it.

70. What type of music do you listen to? Everything. I love music.

71. Favorite vine? Uhmmmm...I was never into vines...sorry.

72. Beaches or castles? Castles. Real life Disney Princess y’all!

73. Pick the closest book to you, and write the line you opened to:

"I mean, a superhero. My heart almost squeezes to a stop. Blue loves superheroes.” -Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda

74. Anyone in the same room as you right now? Yup. My mama and the dogs. Pip is sleeping on my lap.

75. Which is worse; throwing up or diarrhea? I mean I don’t love either...

76. Butterflies or lady bugs? I don’t like bugs...butterflies qualify as well. 

77. Do you say “K” when you’re not mad? I never do this, because I am so cautious of how others will feel from it. You can’t take back hurt feelings.

78. How do you react when purposely scare you? I usually have some form of anxiety attack. My sister has made me cry and panic just from making me watch a YouTube video...I’m easy to scare guys.

79. Most overrated celebrity? Every Kardashian except for Khloe, I love her.

80. Do you have a globe in your room? No, I have a print of the world, but that would be so cool!

81. Do you have a dream catcher in your room? No, this would also be cool.

82. What do you see when you look out your window? Well it’s nighttime now so darkness.

83. Have you been on an airplane? Yes, I’ve been flying since I was a month old.

84. Do you believe in aliens? Yes. It’s stupid to think that we are alone in the universe.

85. Do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely. I don’t fuck with spirits, all respect.

86. Do you believe in God? I believe in a higher power, and I do still have faith in the Christian God, but I do have so many questions.

87. Do you believe in yourself? I’m working on it, y’all. That’s all I can say.

I am tagging randomly because I don’t know who has done this yet... @billbenbev @its-reddie-bitch @not-reddie @theriodiaries @demianhill @dannybriereisaliferuiner @thebroadstreetdarling @milagric and whoever else would like to do this, consider yourselves tagged! 💖💖💖💖💖

[onkey-bedtime-stories]

EUNOIA - chapter 2

Chapter 1

----------------

“I met Donghae yesterday.”

That’s how Taemin greets his sister on a random phone call one afternoon. As hard as she tried to be chill about it, Eunsook cannot help but shake in panic, intrigued by his words. She ran to the closest bench she could find and put her camera safely on her laps.

“You know that we’re adults, right? We don’t need to inform each other anymore like when we were kids and used to match our scenario to lie to Mom and Dad.”

The tremble on her lips seemed readable from the other line, making Taemin snickers on his bed.

“And since we’re adults it means now we lie to each other instead to our parents? Wow. Just wow, Lee Eunsook.”

“As I remember you were the one who banned me for weeping around on anyone whom acquaintance with him. Am I right?”

“You are. You’re always right beside this particular choice on men.”

“So?”

“I just let you know that yesterday I met Donghae.”

“Just let me know? You think I didn’t know how sneaky you are telling me stuff just because you are childishly curious on how I would react? Well, try harder, baby boy.”

“My smart lady. I always knew you went to Milan not for nothing.”

“Ha. So funny.”

“Do you want me to tell you what happened or I need to wait for another year until you gather up your guts to ask me how it went?”

“Actually, I don’t really care. That wouldn’t change anything, would that?”

“It depends, though.”

“On what? On how I handle stuff? On how bad my mood right now? Or maybe, just maybe, on how bad I weep last night?”

So she still cried miserably at night?

Taemin sighed and Eunsook regrets raising her tones, unveiled her unstable mind unconsciously. However, she didn’t lie when she said she doesn’t really care since she would still be broken hearted and desperately wants to turn back time hoping she could fix any mistake they did during their relationship. Or more like what mistake she did.

“Donghae asked how you are doing.”

“You can tell him that I’m fine, having a really nice summer escapades and eating lots of good food. Really, I think I will gain at least five pounds by the end of the trip.”

“Unless it’s not really Donghae who asked.”

“I know.”

“No you don’t.”

Eunsook scribbled on the ground with her shoes, making random pattern on it, “Yes I do, Tae. Because he texted me two days ago and I kept writing and deleting my rant until this morning on how I’m doing now after he decided not to be in the same page with me anymore. Believe me I know, because this is the first time I didn’t reply on him right away after I saw his name appeared on my screen.”

Taemin doesn’t say anything and just listened to the sound of the wind, trying to not make everything more complicated for his sister.

“Maybe he overestimated me.. thinking that I would be just alright after everything. Having a blast in Netherlands, enjoying summer, going shopping and meeting my best friend after a long time. You know I always this ‘his strong woman’ or.. or ‘his only iron lady’ you know.. So this trip, couldn’t it be better than that?”

“Don’t resent anyone. You’re the one who said to me that this is the best way for both of you to be happier.”

“I told you maybe.”

“Anyway, I said that you’re fine. A little tired and overwhelmed but you’re good now.”

“Should I thank you for giving the wise back up and being the best brother in the world?”

“Not really. Because I told Donghae as well how you’re calling me every day at 3 AM mopping around threatening people you’d kill yourself if tomorrow you’re wake up and everything is not only in your dream.”

“You should have added the part I didn’t eat anything for a week and ran into the emergency room when my coworker found me passed out at the toilet.”

“Ah, if only you did a proper briefing before.”

She’s really grateful for the fact that she might really have the best brother in the world. Taemin never fail making her laughed. Though he had this ice prince exterior, his heart is the warmest, far from all the cold and mischievous image people around him familiar with.

“Now that I told you what to do, can you fix that when you met him again?”

“Let see. I got studio schedule again tomorrow and he will be the producer assistant the whole week. Yeah sure, I will tell him everything until the IV shot part.”

“Good boy.”

“I know I am.”

“And stop texting or calling Minho behind my back. It’s embarrassing.”

Now it’s Taemin turn to burst into laughter. It’s still stuck in his head how he decided to call Minho instead of his wife because Taemin couldn’t stand the idea of being yelled or interrogated by Junghee. That girl can speak two hours nonstop without giving break the other person.

“I’ll go to sleep now, it’s almost midnight here. Be good, sister.”

“Don’t wet the bed.”

“I’ve had my diaper on, no need to worry. I love you!”

“I love you, too!”

The second she put the phone down, Eunsook feels lonely again. Actually, she prefers having endless argument with anyone rather than swimming in her own thoughts. Inevitably, she checked the phone again. Rereading the text Jungsoo sent two days ago.

‘Good morning, sunshine! How’s the vacation?’

Ah, sunshine. It was nice to be sunshine for someone, a thought cross Eunsook’s mind. It was. She was sunshine. Night star. Moonlight. Making her questioning herself, is it not enough being her for he needed her to be something else? Was she not beautiful enough for he had the urge to always comparing her to something else?

“Eunsook?”

She lifted her head up and found a face she expected the least.

“Kibum?”

The latter smiles and tell the other guys walking with him to leave first. He then casually sits next to Eunsook, looks like a supermodel he is, swiping his hair back. When he looked to his left, Eunsook almost stoned, left him chuckles nervously again, a habit he developed whenever Eunsook’s around him.

“What are you doing here? Don’t tell me you joined this group tour with the guy poking his umbrella to the sky!”

She squinted her tiny eyes, which in Kibum’s mind was too cute to handle.

“Oh, I was walking around doing some sketches taking photos and then my brother called so I gotta sit here and listen to him ranting about unimportant stuff.”

“You like taking photos?” Kibum almost jumped from his seat when he turned to face Eunsook completely.

“Just for fun. I love looking back to all the pictures I took while traveling. Give me lots of nice nostalgic feeling and of course a smooth slap on my head to work harder earning more money for the next trip.”

He cracks to her words, “That is actually hella true. May I see the camera?”

“Of course, Mr. Photographer.”

She smiles so bright while handing the camera, Kibum flustered involuntarily turned his ears all crimson red, “You always use 35mm film?”

He lifted the analog camera a bit.

“Mostly. Or Polaroid. One time I had the 120mm camera but nowadays it’s so hard to find the film.”

“Oh, you have no idea. It’s also freaking hard to find a place that can develop it. Tried to do it by myself, but I ruined it. There it goes all my memory in Hongkong. Gone in flash.”

Kibum cursed himself for convincing himself that Eunsook is the only girl in the world that makes a frown look that beautiful and amazing on a face. Before he embarrassed himself, he checked the camera again in his hand.

“By the way, this is nice camera. My friend had another type from the same brand. Where did you get this?”

“Actually, I bought it accidentally. It was from Porto. We were lost when tried to go back to the hostel and we found this street while wandering around with my friends.”

“Porto? As in Portugal?” she nods, “AH! I know that place! They sell cheap black and white films!”

“You really are a photographer, aren’t you?”

She cannot help but teasing when Kibum got so excited just on the thought of knowing the place she found the treasure. At this rate, not only his ears that rushed by blood.

“Only when I need money to pay my rent.”

“Hahaha!” she slapped his forearm lightly, he flinched silently, “And what brings you here?”

“We just finished a session with local teens. They’re quite having this too-cool-for-school attitude but fashion spread’s always interesting, isn’t it, Miss Designer?”

Eunsook secretly took out her imaginary good-deeds-book. Wits and jokes, checked.

“Anyhow, what are you doing after this?”

“Hmmm, nothing.”

“Fancy grabbing some sweets?”

“What kind of sweet?”

The way her eyes almost popped out her skull brighten Kibum’s day faster than when he received the first print of his magazine, “Pancake, waffle, crepe, anything you prefer as long as it can help with my sugar level.”

“Pancake sounds good.”

“Pancake it is! Let’s go!”

Kibum made a mistake almost embraced her by the shoulder then quietly pretending to push her to walk faster before the circumstance became more awkward.

Her phone beeps once again, she shook her head when she caught a text message arrived on the screen.

‘Eunsook, are you alright? Seems like the vacation is really great, am I right?’

This time she didn’t wait anymore.

‘Indeed, it’s the best summer escapade! I’m okay, by the way.’

***

“I told you not to touch her!”

Kibum massaged the back of his neck for the ten times, too tired for this silly confrontation.

“So, you said it’d better if I just left her alone there at the café while it was drenched outside instead of offering her a ride?”

“I’m tired of your excuse, you sweet mouth!  You should hadn’t dragged her to the café at the first place!”

“I’m the one who tired of your accusation! For God’s sake, Kim Junghee! I was just being nice! We lived under the same roof and I’m not allowed to cheer up someone I know who looked upset?”

“Not with such an agenda behind!”

“What kind of agenda are you talking about?!”

“Oh, don’t you dare testing me!” Kibum’s jaw dropped a few centimeter, disbelief with the whole sentence he just heard, “If you’re just being nice, you take her home right away after both of you finished your afternoon snack!”

“That’s the plan! But she said she needs more films for her camera! Am I wrong if I offered to accompany her looking for some?”

“Ha! You just saw your chance to slide in! What a little sneaky head!”

Kibum restrained himself not to raise his voice, he just didn’t want Minho finished his shower and found his best friend yelling to his wife.

“Look. It was raining. I offered her a ride to go back. She asked if I knew a place to buy films! I drove her there and it was still freaking rain. I got called by the people at work on the way. I said I’d get drop her off first at home before I headed to the studio. She said she could grab a taxi. Since I considered it’s not polite to let her do that, I asked her to come with me. That’s it!”

Junghee stomped on the kitchen floor so hard, “You could just drive her first!!!! You have no idea how stressful I was when I couldn’t contact her?!?!”

“Who knows her phone was dead?! She didn’t say anything to me! Had I know I would give her my phone to call or text you! At any rate, if she did find it necessary, she would ask me to make that damned call!”

“Stop it right there, it’s not Eunsook’s fault!”

“Neither mine!” he rolled his tongue inside his mouth trying to control himself, “I know she’s your best friend, Junghee, but she’s not a kid! She’s a grown up and let her be one!”

“Don’t talk like you know her!”

His fist getting harder on his side, “I didn’t. Look. I know you care about her. A lot. I understand. I’m aware that she’s somehow became more vulnerable after everything happened, but you shouldn’t treat her like this! She took the flight here to heal herself if you kept hogging her, when will she be able to heal?”

Kibum got his point but Junghee is too busy protecting her friend she doesn’t even try to swallow all the words from him.  

“I don’t need you lecturing me how I treat my friend! Just.. just keep your hand away from her!”

“What if I refuse?”

“What did you just said?!”

Kibum hesitated to say something more, so he just stood there, lips sealed together, his eyes drilling a hole through the air. Junghee flustered and doesn’t know what to do, she expected him to give some counter attack harsher than before. Not a serious answer like that.

“Listen, leave her alone or I would never speak to you again!”

She left him standing by the island counter and paced to her room upstairs. When she passed Eunsook who just went back inside the house after called her partner in Milan at the porch, she purposely darted her eyes away. The latter confused but knowing that her best friend has such a temper, she decided to let it go.

A small smile formed on her face when she saw Kibum’s by the kitchen.

“Is everything alright?” Kibum turned his head and just shrugged, “Kibum?”

Eunsook sensed something’s wrong by the flat expression on his face.

“Nothing.”

She’s the least person he wanted to encounter at the second, he tried to avoid her but the look she gave him just made everything more uncomfortable.

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty much.”

“Hmm.. I don’t think so.”

“No, really.”

“Come on, you can talk about it.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not.”

“Eunsook, I’m okay. Let’s just shake it off, I’m tired.”

He told her the truth, actually. Kibum’s just exhausted and he needs his time to compose himself after the heated conversation with Junghee.

“What’s wrong with you? Is Junghee okay?”

“Why don’t you just ask your best friend, huh? She’s the one who started! Why should I am the one who feel guilty here?!”

It seems like that was his final giveaway. His pitched showed up, startling Eunsook a little bit. The stern look he put is not making it easier for her. Inside, Kibum wants to kick himself on the shin for being such an asshole just now, helpless under the invisible spell Eunsook sent him.

And feels guilty he is, indeed. She had nothing to do and he just exploded ridiculously in front of her. So he dropped the glass he hold to the sink recklessly, the loud clank on its metal surface dropped a frown on Eunsook’s face, and just went to his room, leaving strange stagnant on the air for her.

Confused and a little disappointed, Eunsook just swallowed back all the sentences she prepared to thank him for the nice afternoon they shared.

***

Thirty minutes passed with Kibum paced back and forth behind his closed door. Sometimes he sat at the edge of his bed, tapped his foot on the floor restlessly, and stood up again, repeating the monotonous anxiety attack.

Seriously, he felt awful not only because he snapped on a girl that supposed to be his current major crush until this morning, but also because he realized how helpless he was in front of the girl. And all those feeling had taken him sunken deep on ocean of guilty.

Junghee might be right, the way he treated Eunsook just now could cause huge mess. This is the first time since almost forever Kibum does care about his image in front of other. Suddenly he’s afraid she might think he’s the biggest jerk on earth who had this hot and cold attitude, once a very nice and kind guy then yell on her face for something she didn’t even know just for the reason he lose control on stupid stuffs.

He doesn’t want that.

“Why are you so stupid, Kim Kibum…”

He threw himself on the mattress and kept staring on the ceiling for solid ten minutes before he jolted to the door, took one deep breath, and carefully pushed it forward.

The living room is empty, leaving only small aquarium at the corner being the source of light. However, when looked across the room, dim light seeped through small gap between the floor and the door of Eunsook’s room.

She’s still awake.

“Eunsook?”

The soft knock on the door didn’t reciprocate. The drumroll banging inside his chest became louder each second passed in silent.

“Lee Eunsook? Can I come in?”

He waited again but nothing happened.

Is she mad at me? Shit.

Various scenarios flashed on his mind and not any single of it makes him comfortable. He might regret it later, but his guts are so much makes sense more than anything.

Slowly he opened the door, but the scene welcomes him is way more unpredictable.

On her bed, Eunsook’s sleeping like a five years old, blanket tucked until her chin and hair splattered here and there but somehow framed her soft jaw as if someone did it on purpose. And Kibum, Kibum just stiffen right on the threshold, hand glued to the handle.

How come a girl can turn someone defenseless without doing anything?

She just breathes, her shoulder moves in a slow rhythm. Kibum knew he’s crazy but he swear in such distance he can see how her eyelashes intertwined each other hiding the beautiful eyes she had, kissed her cheeks in silent melody. If he had camera in his hand, he would had already taken hundreds picture of her sleeping.

Creepy, he knows.

But in Kibum justification, everyone should be creepy once in a while when they’re in love, shouldn’t they?

Ah. In love?

Kibum gripped his chest for a moment and decided to turn of the light before he closed the door cautiously.

“Forget it, Kim Kibum..”

***

Chapter 3

[k-thequeen-writings]

Fandom Quest ch 14

                                                 Comic Caught-Ya!

Katy’s winter break after her first semester was a little bit of a rollercoaster of emotions. Before the semester had ended, she turned eighteen and got her first tattoo: her mom’s handwriting from the birthday card she had sent her. When she got home for the winter, she was only there for a matter of days before she, her mom, and a few others drove to Florida to hand out donations to victims of the hurricane.

Now, to understand the first loop on her ride, you have to understand what had happened a year prior. The town she lived in was also hit by a hurricane. After the storm had subsided, her family began handing out donations to the needy. They even offered their home to friends who had lost their homes. During that time, they met an elderly gentleman named Terry. They swore he was an angel in disguise. The kind-hearted, quiet man had been living with them ever since.

Back to current day, mid-December of twenty-eighteen, Katy and the others were busy wrapping gifts for the children of families who couldn’t afford to buy Christmas that year. Everyone was exhausted from the long day’s work, so a phone call from her mom’s fiance saying that Terry had had an accident wasn’t a good addition. He had fallen down the stairs and hit his head, causing internal bleeding.

Once Katy and her family had arrived home, they spent Christmas day going to visit him in the hospital. It made everything even harder to see him in the state he was in, and to know that his children hadn’t even come to see him yet. Of course, they weren’t angry with them, just a little disappointed. After they had said their goodbyes, they went back home to open presents and have dinner. The next day, December twenty-sixth, Terry had passed away. The death was hardest on her mom, but she also felt a sting in her heard from his passing.

That weekend, only three days after, the last loop in Katy’s rollercoaster came. Her mom was getting married! It was a small wedding, but very cute and rustic, which fit her mom perfectly. The bride rode in on her horse, which stressed out Katy and her brother a shitton. They both walked her mom up and gave her away with their lab as the ring bearer.

After winter break was over, Katy and her friend from the Netherlands returned to the university. Katy first dropped off her friends and then went back to where the convention was going to be. Luckily, the university wasn't too far, so she would be able to enjoy the whole weekend and return for her morning classes.

“Hey, my Katy-bug! How are you?” Her mom chirped through the phone. It had been a couple of hours since she had heard from Katy and she was getting a tad worried.

“Hey, mom!” Katy was currently walking into the hotel that the convention was being held in, a spring in her step as she got closer. “I’m good, just got to the convention center. It’s at the same place as the Supernatural convention was at!” As she approached the doors, she dug through her purse for her ticket. Once she was inside, the chatter of the crowd grew louder the closer she got to the convention portion of the hotel.

“Oh, that’s great, honey! I’m glad you got there safely.” A smile was obviously planted on her face, excited for her daughter’s adventure. “I’ll let you go, it sounds busy. Love you!”

“Love you too!” With that, the ladies hung up and Katy went to start her first day at the convention.

The booths and cosplayers were one of the best things she saw. There were plenty of people dressed as characters from Supernatural and the Marvel universe. She laughed to herself; she'd met the characters they pretended to be. Of course, there were others who displayed as game characters, anime characters, and mythical creatures.

At the end of the day, Katy’s feet were killing her to the point of burning if she sat down. On the plus side, she enjoyed the panels by some pretty famous celebrities that she was excited to see, also getting the chance to have a photo op with them. After the crowd had died down some, she did her shopping and got some pretty cool merchandise; one of her favorites being the Loki themed leather jacket.

Saturday was the day she was looking forward to the most. Even with the lack of sleep from the night before, she woke up early to make sure her hair and makeup were done and that her outfit matched. Yes, she normally wore things that made her more comfortable, but today she was going to get to meet Tom Hiddleston! Her favorite celebrity at this convention, the main reason behind her being here.

Once she was ready and content with the way she looked, she took her time heading downstairs to get something to eat. After breakfast, she gave another look around the vendor room to see if there was anything else she was wanting, picking up a picture of Loki for Tom to sign. Even though the line was longer than the path to hell, She went ahead and jumped in line for autographs before it was too long for them to get through.

For two hours she passed the time by scrolling through Instagram or Pinterest. Every now and then a friend would text or call so she would of course reply or pick it up. Although, once she was only third in line, she put her phone away and started tapping her foot impatiently, the nervousness finally hitting her.

One left, then me. Oh god, what if I say the wrong thing and freak him out? Shut up Katy, you’re making it weird.

“Miss? Please step up, you’re next,” a kind lady dressed in red told her, a smile on her face as she gestured for Katy to walk up.

She did so and smiled awkwardly. “Hello, Mr. Hiddleston. How are you?” Katy’s posture was stiff. She was so nervous, she couldn’t even register that her feet were moving.

When Tom looked up, he stared at her for a moment before giving her a smile. “Please, call me Tom. Who should I write this too?” he asked, eyes focused on hers. The look he gave her was almost like he was looking at an old friend. When she gave him her name, he glanced at the tattoo on her forearm before looking down at the photo to sign it, writing something extra that Katy couldn’t make out upside down. “I like your tattoo, Katy. Very sweet of you.” Once he finished writing, he handed the picture to her with a smile on his face.

The blush from Katy’s ears moved to cover her whole face when he spoke to her, butterflies disturbing the peace in her stomach. “Oh, thank you very much! I just got it a few months ago.”

Katy you idiot, he doesn’t care when you got it!

“Well, congratulations. Is it in her handwriting?” Katy only nodded, a large smile lighting up her face. “That’s very interesting. Make sure to enjoy the rest of your day, Katy," he gave one more smile before giving her a small wave as a send-off.

“Thank you, have a nice day!” Katy also waved back, noticing that he had turned to Luke, his handler, and whispered something to him shortly after. Once she was out of the way of traffic, but still close to where Tom’s table is, she turned her attention to the autograph, smiling like a kid in a candy store.

To Katy, ‘It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves.’ Love, Tom.

Reading the line, her smile quickly faded and the blood rushed to her ears, causing everything to go silent. She was completely frozen, stuck in a state of shock. She was so infatuated with her thoughts that she jumped when a man touched her shoulder, her autograph in his hands as he offered it to her. She recognized the man as Luke.

“Excuse me, Miss. Are you Kathryn Hart?” She nodded, eyes wide as she focused on him. “Please come with me, Mr. Hiddleston would like to see you when he’s on his break,” he spoke quietly, obviously not wanting anyone to hear the conversation.

Once she was in the back room, he left her to return to his boss while she paced like a caged beast across the room, the panic finally showing on the outside, now that she was alone. Holding true to her nature, she was hyperventilating, biting her nails, pulling her hair, and getting emotional the more she thought about the situation.

She was yanked from her thoughts once more when she heard the door close, jumping as she turned her head to see none other than Tom himself, giving her a smile. “Katy? Are you alright? You look stressed…” he had a worried look on his face as he approached her, the girl only staring and shaking her head in disbelief.

“Stressed? Oh, Thomas that’s an understatement!”

Tom chuckled a little, a small grin appearing on his face. “I can clarify things, if you’d like.”

Katy nodded. “Please do! I mean, you’re Loki? Why the hell haven’t you said anything to me before now, Tom?” she exclaimed. “I mean, you know Loki like the back of your hand, how could you not realize that I wasn’t supposed to be in that universe? Plus, I stopped Thanos! You know that wasn’t supposed to happen the way it did!” Katy spoke fast, almost like she was doing it all on one breath and not giving Tom any time to respond.

Groaning a little, he scratched his beard, making sure to keep his eyes on her while she talked. The rest of what she said he had tuned out, mentally slapping himself for what he was about to do. Without further hesitation, he gently cupped Katy’s face in his hands, placing a gentle kiss on her lips, eyes squeezed shut as he did so. A gasp escaped Katy, shock filling her every being with is actions, but she gave in, returning the kiss. When she did, the worry left Tom and most of the panic left Katy. She was much calmer, lost in the moment.

When he pulled away, he dropped his hands but remained mere inches from the girl in front of him, chuckling a little as she covered her beet-red face. After giving her a moment to process what had happened, he gently took hold of her hands and pulled them away from her face, making her look at him. “I apologize for my forwardness, Darling, but that was the only way I could think of to get you to focus.”

She was quiet for a moment, studying his eyes and he hers. “You could have slapped me. I wouldn’t have pressed charges.” When he laughed at the comment, a small smile appeared on her face before she sat down, the dizziness of the situation finally hit her. “Please explain why you never told me.” She sat with her hands in her lap, a sad look on her face as her eyes followed his movements, the man sitting next to her.

“Ah, where do I start?” he sighed, chuckling a little. “Well, a few years ago, I went to sleep and thought I was only having a dream. The dream was that I was Loki, but I couldn’t exactly control what I was saying. When we saw you, or Iro I should say, come into the cell on the helicarrier, I knew that you weren’t supposed to be there and just figured you were part of my imagination.” Katy snorted a little, finding the comment ironic. “Although Loki seemed to know you, so I just went along with it. After New York, we never saw you again until Ragnarok happened only this past November. Although, Loki thought about you a lot between that time. He’ll never tell you that though.” Tom nudged her shoulder, giving the girl a smile to try and lighten things up.

“When you took Loki to Othos and explained everything, it finally clicked with me that I was also, in a way, also experiencing the same thing as whoever this girl was. Whenever you dropped the illusions, Loki and I both memorized every feature of you, even down to that -” he leaned over, tapping a very tiny scar above her eye that her brother had caused when they were children, “- little scar there.”

“So… how did you know it was me? Aside from my looks, which I do appreciate that you don’t think I look… horrible,” she chuckled half-heartedly, rubbing the back of her neck as she spoke.

The comment she made about herself stung him slightly, but he gave a smile nonetheless. “Well, you were too busy to realize in Othos, but when you’d drop the illusion you would show your tattoo as well. Also, your name kinda gave it away too.” He chuckled softly at the end, eyes locked on her. He couldn’t believe that, after all these years, he finally found the girl in his dreams, literally.

Before Katy had a chance to respond, Luke had knocked on the door, telling Tom that he needed to come out now. After replying with a simple ‘okay’, he turned back to Katy who seemed like she was still freaking out a bit.

“Hey,” he whispered, placing two fingers below her chin to make her look at him. Once her attention was focused on him, he gave her a soft smile, moving his fingers to caress her cheek. “I’d like to talk to you about this more, Darling, but my break is over.” She nodded, which he returned before standing and taking her hand to help her stand. “Please give Luke your number and I’ll get in touch later, okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. What exactly do you want to talk about though? Why me?” The happy look that was on her face earlier was replaced with a sadness in her eyes. Her mind was getting to her, which made Tom a little nervous.

“Because -” he gave her a small kiss on the forehead, before opening the door to let her walk out, “I’ve been looking for you for years, Katy. I’m not gonna let you slip through my fingers unless that’s what you really want. But please, just think about this and I’ll text you later.” Tom gave a small smile and another small wave before rushing back to the table to continue working on the autographs. He was eager to talk with her.

“Mom!” Katy shouted into the phone, slamming the room door closed behind her as she rushed into the room, ignoring the muffled yelling from her hotel neighbors.

“Honey? Something the matter? You sound out of breath,” her mom sounded worried, which was to be expected with the way Katy had answered her phone.

“You won’t believe - wait,” she hesitated, clearing her throat a little before continuing, “I uh, I need to ask you about something… it’s about, uh… a possible date, if I’m lucky.” She was blushing like a mad man the more she spoke. How the hell was she supposed to tell her mom that someone in their 30’s possibly wanted to go on a date with her? Let alone that they actually kissed her! Although, she wasn’t gonna tell her that part.

“Oh?” her mom drug out the word, a smirk in her voice. “What’s the name of this possible date?”

“Well, his name is Tom. But - uh, you like to call him ‘Hiddlesbum’.”

Her mom was silent for a moment, which made Katy’s heart race. Oh god, what is she gonna say! She’s gonna say no. I feel it!

“Well, keep me posted with what happens, okay? You know how I worry.”

Hold the phone. “What?”

“You’re an adult, Katy. Yes, it does worry me a little bit with the age, but I’m basing my decision on what you’ve shown me and told me about him. So why not give it a shot? See if it actually goes well!”

Her mom’s response just wasn’t clicking in her head. She was dumbfounded! Her mom, was actually, decently, okay with what her daughter had told her. Once it did register, Katy’s heart did a little excited jump in her chest. After a repeated thank you, she started getting a call on the hotel line, so she had to hang up.

When she answered, she was told that someone was asking for her room number and that they needed permission to send them up. Of course, Katy gave them the a-okay before rushing around the room to make it cleaner. Then she rushed to the bathroom to freshen up her makeup and brush her teeth, you know, just in case.

Before long, there was a knock on the door. When she rushed over, she hesitated, her hand just above the door handle and shaking. With a deep breath, she tried to calm herself, opening the door and giving the handsome actor a bright smile before inviting him inside.

“So, um… what exactly did you want to talk about?” Katy was starting to panic again as she walked to the desk chair, letting her guest have the comfortable bed.

It didn’t seem to just be her who felt nervous. Tom was rubbing his hands on his jeans just before he sat down, probably trying to dry off his palms. “Well, I was hoping to convince you to give this a chance.” he chuckled a little, picking at his fingers as he spoke.

“This?” she had a feeling she knew what he meant, but it doesn’t mean that the whole situation was kind of freaking her out.

“A relationship, between you and I.” Biting his lip, he gave her a hopeful look, but there was also worry, which was to be expected.

With a slight groan of frustration, Katy ran her fingers through her hair as she stood up, pacing around a little with her arms crossed. “I’m mentally slapping myself for saying this, but if a relationship like this does anything to your career and your reputation, I don’t want a relationship.” She stopped pacing sighing a little as she looked at him, her arms still crossed. “I care about what happens to you Tom, and an age gap this big is bound to have some backlash! I don’t want that for you. I’d rather die lonely.”

He was honestly kind of proud of her. He knew she had feelings, so for her to put them aside and focus on him was a big step. Something most adults have a hard time doing. With a soft sigh escaping his lips, he stood and walked over to her, gently grabbing hold of her arms with a soft smile on his face. “Darling, people will always talk about the age gap, regardless of how fast or slow the relationship goes. Regardless of how public, or private, we are. As long as we both want the same thing, and feel the same way, I won’t let it destroy me like you think it will. I can promise you that.”

Though she blushed at his words, she still was uncertain about the whole situation. Gently pulling away she walked back towards the bed, her back facing him. “But, even then, why me?” She now turned, sadness glossing over her eyes as she looked at him, “Why me, Tom? I’m not the woman you know from that world. I’m not the woman that you’ve… grown to feel for.”

“I beg to differ, Katy,” he chuckled a little, walking a little closer to her. “You seem to be very similar to Iro. Like caring about others more than you care about yourself. Am I wrong?”

She glanced up, shaking her head no a little.

“No matter how different or similar you are to Iro, you’re still you’re own person. That sense of mystery is exciting! And if you’ll let me, I’d like to see if this would work out between us.”

“Are you… thinking long term? Because I’m not someone who just dates to date. If I date someone, it’s because I see a partner in them. In the long run.” Katy's face had turned a bright red and she found it hard to meet his eyes.

With his confirmation, they talked just a little longer and arranged to have lunch tomorrow before Katy left. Once he was gone, she collapsed on the bed and found it hard to let sleep take her over. She didn’t want this to be a dream.

When Katy woke up, she was barely focused on anything happening around her. She was stuck in the clouds thinking about her little ‘date’ with Tom later. When it came time to the photo op, she waited towards the back of the line so she could just walk to the back with Tom. Yes, the wait was longer than the day before, three hours and fourteen minutes longer to be exact, but it was worth it. When she walked up, Tom gave her a warm smile, just like he would with any other fan. Although the look in his eyes is what was different.

Once the photo op was done, they were escorted to his break room where he had a small table set up with a tablecloth and a flower in the center. She found it adorable that they weren’t just going to have pizza or something simple. Instead, it was a cute little lunch with pasta and soup. During the lunch, they talked a little more about how the relationship was going to work, ultimately deciding they wanted to have titles, but go at Katy’s pace, which she was grateful for.

After the date was over, they said their goodbyes and Katy headed back to school for the semester. Over the next month, the two talked constantly, a couple rumors spread across the internet that Tom was with someone, but no confirmations. There were quite a few people who knew about the relationship, but all were close to either party. All of the Avengers actors, including Holland and Cumberbatch, both of their families, and a few of Katy’s close friends.

When Valentine’s Day rolled around, there was no word from Tom, other than their usual conversation. Unbeknownst to her, he had planned to come that weekend and spoil her. Thanks to her mom, he was able to plan everything around her classes.

“Katy-Bug! Did you get your cupcakes? They should be there by now.”

“I did!” Katy chirped, walking up the stairs of her dorm from picking up said cupcakes. “Thank you, by the way! They look delicious.”

“Aw you’re welcome honey, I'm glad you like them.”

“I’m sorry to change the subject momma, but have you heard from Tom today? I haven’t heard from him.”

Almost like he was listening, there was a knock on the door. Katy was a bit confused, mainly because she wasn’t expecting visitors. After saying bye to her mom, she set the cupcakes and opened the door to reveal Tom standing with his hair fixed, a casual suit on, and roses in his hands.

"What the hell are you doing here!” Katy yelled, but she couldn’t help the smile that crept on her face just before tossing herself into his arms, causing the man to chuckle.

The man happily hugged her back, gently kissing the top of her head and breathing in her scent. “Hello, darling. I’m sorry I’m late, but I’m here to take you out for Valentines. Is that okay?” When he pulled away, he felt a small pain in his arm; she had hit him. “Ow! What was that for?” he chuckled a little, watching as she crossed her arms and gave him a half-hearted glare.

“You weren’t answering for hours! Mr. Romantic, I was getting worried.” He gave her a smile, leaning down and kissing her cheek. “What was that for?” A blush heated up her cheeks, still trying to look intimidating.

“You’re adorable when you try to look mad when you aren’t actually upset!” he laughed a little and the woman finally stopped the facade, the smile returning to her face. “Why don’t you take these -” he handed her the flowers before continuing, “- and get dressed. Nothing too fancy unless you want to. Church attire would be fine.”

“Thank you for these, Tom. they’re beautiful.” She gladly took the flowers, giving them a whiff while he kept talking. “Alright. What will you do in the meantime? I don’t want you to be bored,” she tilted her head a little, maybe picking up a little too much from the trenchcoated angel.

With a soft grin on his face, he pointed to his left, towards the study room doors. “Your friends are watching, so I probably should go say hello.” He seemed a bit embarrassed when he spoke, almost like he was a little nervous to go talk to them.

“Take your time, we have a little while,” Katy nodded, and the two parted.

After about an hour, Katy walked out wearing black heels, a light-blue floral dress with off the shoulder straps and a sweetheart neckline, her hair with loose curls, a full face of makeup that went with the dress perfectly, her purse with the essentials, and her favorite black fur coat in hand.

With the sound of her heels clicking on the floor, Tom shot up from the couch, smiling a bit when he saw her walk in the room. “Wow,” he chuckled, adjusting his glasses. “You look lovely.”

Katy blushed, pulling a strand of hair out of her face. “Thank you, Tom. Sorry to keep you waiting,”

“Oh, darling, it was worth the wait,” he offered his arm, which she gladly took, then led her outside to start the evening of activities.

The night consisted of a movie, dinner, and star gazing at the town’s observatory. Afterward, they went back to Katy’s dorm so she could pick up some sleep clothes and go stay with Tom at the hotel, assuming he would be leaving in the morning.

When they both fell asleep, they went Othos, as usual.

Early in the morning, probably around three, Tom woke up in a cold sweat, frantically looking around the room. “Katy!” he called, adjusting so he could shake her. She was cold and clammy, a pained look on her face but she didn’t wake up. “Dammit, Katy! Wake up! Please!”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So sorry for the pretty crappy chapter everyone. I like romance, but I honestly suck at writing it XD see you for chapter 15! What happened to Katy??

~ K-The-Queen

[gymwrites]

Second Thoughts: A Fan Sequel to First Times

Links to: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5 (Part I), Chapter 5 (Part II), Chapter 6 (Part I), Chapter 6 (Part II), Chapter 6 (Part III), Chapter 7, Chapter 8 (Part I), Chapter 8 (Part II)

Chapter 5: Impossible (Part II)

Sissone to side aerial. Swing down into the Korbut, avoid death by faceplant. Immediately celebrate survival with an end-of-beam yas queen pose. Switch ring, followed by sheep jump. Dance like everyone owes you their undivided allegiance. Then illusion turn, because you’re a boss about to stun everyone with a flawless split leap and aerial. And if that won’t do it, straight L turn, switch split, single spin and Y turn in quick succession, because why the hell not.

The triple twist at the end lands with a satisfying thump on the mat.

“Nice work, Eythora!” Sanne Wever raises her hand as she walks past her teammate towards the other end of the beam.

Breathing hard, Eythora returns Sanne’s high five, pleased the last training before team finals tomorrow was going so smoothly for them. Mingling with other gymnasts had revealed they were one of the most relaxed groups competing. This, despite it being Netherland’s first shot at Olympic team glory in over four decades. Every single media interviewer had brought that piece of trivia up, holding it over their heads like the sword of Damocles. At times, Eythora had to stop herself from grabbing the camera and yelling into it, “We know, we know!” But the media frenzy hadn’t daunted them in the least. They were having the time of their lives in Rio, doing the best they could. Eythora was proud of her girls for that.

She strolls over to where the rest of her teammates and Giulia Steingruber are chatting and giggling on the floor area facing the beam. Without a team and effectively in Rio on her own, the bubbly Swiss gymnast had become a welcome attachment to their little entourage. She trained with them whenever she could, and joined them at mealtimes armed with an endless supply of hilariously inappropriate jokes and gymnastics circuit gossip.

Sitting down next to Giulia, Eythora catches the tail of an energetic retelling of a story that sounds like it took place at the afterparty in Glasgow Worlds last year.

“… nicest girl ever. Can you imagine? I had a huge split up the back of my dress, freaking out in the lady’s room. She walks in, and immediately offers to help.”

“Who’s this?” Eythora asks curiously. She settles into a split position and curves forward in a deep stretch.

Giulia turns to her with a grin. “Simone Biles. She’s as nice as everyone says she is. Her coach too! She was the one that helped pin my dress back together. I don’t know how else I could’ve walked out of there. Actually, the whole American team is pretty awesome once you get to know them.”

A smile plays on Eythora’s lips as she recalls her encounter with their team captain. “They are.”

“Oh, you've met them already?” Giulia turns to Eythora, twirling the end of her blonde ponytail around one finger. “They’re hard to catch. I hear their national coordinator is very strict about who they speak to during competitions. ”

Eythora shifts to sit in a cross-legged position and casually props her chin on one hand. “I talked to Aly Raisman yesterday.”

Sharp sounds of surprise emanate from everyone in the group, and Eythora laughs at the expressions on their faces. “What? I had to find someone to hang out with after you all abandoned me last night,” she says, shrugging.

“What did you guys talk about? Was she by herself?” Even Céline, usually the quietest one of the group, can’t help but dig more.

“Yes, her team wasn't there for some reason. We talked a bit about everything. Mostly about gymnastics. She was lovely. Not that I was expecting anything else.” The girl is perfectly mesmerizing in a strangely dorky, attractive kind of way, and I find myself wondering when I’ll get to see her next almost every five minutes.

An idea strikes her. “Giulia, how well do you know Aliya Mustafina? You’ve met her lots of times at other meets.”

“You mean what do I know other than that she has a terrifying look that will turn you into stone if you stare too hard?”

Eythora swats at Giulia’s arm. “She can’t be that bad. Mustafina seems nice.”

“She can be nice if she wants to. For a Russian.” The side-eye Eythora gives Giulia for that unflattering stereotype is responded to with a shrug of her shoulders. “What? You know what I mean. There’s always this wall with Mustafina. Also, I’ve heard things.”

“You always ‘hear things’.”

Grinning, Giulia acknowledges the truth in Eythora’s skeptical statement with a knowing tilt of her head. “Okay, so most gossip on the gymnastics circuit ends up being crazy stories made up by drunk or jealous, or both, people. But it’s different with Mustafina. I’ve seen and heard enough to know she can be quite… a someone.” It’s unclear whether she means that as a good or a bad thing.

“Well she has to be, if she’s the captain of Team Russia. I’ve never spoken to her properly, but she seems really great. And really, really talented.” At least, the Russian had never given Eythora a reason to think bad of her.

“Come to think of it, I have heard some pretty wild rumors,” Giulia says.

Eythora raises an eyebrow. “Rumors?”

“From back at the London Olympics. About Mustafina and - ” Looking carefully around, as if the surrounding space might be bugged, Giulia whispers in a low voice, “Raisman.” She immediately clams up and concentrates on adjusting her wrist strap.

Eythora thinks back to how Aly’s face had seized up in a pained expression at the mention of Aliya Mustafina’s name. Maybe there was something more to it than she had thought. “You can’t put that out there and not keep going,” she objects. “What happened?”

Giulia looks over at her teasingly. “I thought you weren’t the type to chase rumors?”

“Come on,” Eythora puts on a pleading tone, even though knows she won’t have to push too hard. It’s in the girl’s DNA to spill.

Sure enough, unable to resist disclosing one of the more explosive stories she’s picked up over the years in the perpetually dramatic world of elite gymnastics, Giulia bends towards Eythora and drops the volume of her voice so only their group can hear. “I’ve heard that Mustafina and Raisman were together. You know, together together. People saw them around the athlete’s village, in locker rooms, being, let’s say, close.”

Eythora sucks in her breath. This wasn’t exactly what she had expected. Nor wanted to hear.

“Who’s being close?” Sanne cuts in, having just finished her beam routine. Dropping to the floor the journal she uses to meticulously record all her skills and connections, she sits down on the other side of Giulia. She looks around weirdly at the tight-knit circle of girls. “And why do all of you look like you’ve swallowed a live fish?”

As the other girls excitedly fill Sanne in on the juicy details of the conversation, Eythora frowns. “They’re just rumors, no? Gymnasts make friends with other gymnasts at meets all the time. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything.”

“Sure. It’s always just rumors.” Giulia’s sly, pointed look says she thinks this particular rumor was most likely no rumor at all, but cold hard fact.

Gloomily, Eythora conjures up the image of the striking captains walking by in perfect sync, like they were headed for a world only the two of them could enter. Aly had denied there was anything between them, and yet… A bit too anxiously, she asks, “Are they still together?”

The Swiss girl shakes her head. “No, I don’t think so.”

Eythora perks up, but catches herself just in time so that it’s not so obvious. “How do you know? What happened?”

Holding both her palms up in a shrug, Giulia puts on her best unsolved mystery voice. “No one really knows. But I saw them both at 2013 Worlds and I’ve spoken to a few of the Russian girls since. They are definitely not friendly with each other anymore.”

A wave of relief washes over Eythora, and her heart oddly feels a little less constricted. “That’s... well, a shame. I guess.”

Lieke, the other Wever sister who has been listening in with mild interest this whole time, immediately looks up to catch Eythora's eye. Eythora tries to steel her face into a more neutral state, keenly aware of Lieke's annoyingly uncanny ability to see whenever she's about to throw her whole heart and soul into something. 

“Eythora? What are you thinking?” Lieke probes warily.

“Just thinking.”

“I know that face. And what’s with all the questions about - “ In a flash of realization, Lieke’s eyes widen. “You're interested. In her.”

Eythora’s first instinct is to deny it straight away. But what would be the point? Suddenly, she realizes she needs an outlet for the weird, giddy feeling she's not been able to shake off since yesterday evening.

"Oh, Eythora..." Lieke begins, but Eythora cuts her off with a helpless shrug. 

“Who wouldn't be? And you know I’ve always had a thing for brunettes."

She watches the others' mouths slowly fall open, except Lieke's, who purses her lips and shakes her head.

“You’ve spoken to her what, once? How is that even possible?” Lieke voices disbelievingly.

“Not to mention,” chimes in Sanne, “the last brunette you liked was a six-foot tall violinist called Daniel. And look how that turned out.” Her unhelpful contribution earns an evil eye from Eythora, and she chuckles. Unlike her twin, Sanne seems to be finding the whole thing quite entertaining.

Lieke is undeterred. “You know what I mean. Be careful, Eythora. You don’t want to go starting any drama here, especially at the Olympics. And,” Lieke directs a look at the rest of the team to back her up, “especially not with the Russians.”

“I’m not interested in starting any drama,” Eythora explains patiently. “I just want to get to know her better. And I want her to get to know me. Besides, you heard Giulia. Whatever happened between them happened years ago.”

Giulia raises her hands, as if washing them clean of any responsibility over the trouble her gossip might have stirred up.

Drumming her fingers on the mat, Lieke remains unconvinced. Always looking out for her teammates, Eythora knows she just doesn’t want her getting into anything that might end up backfiring. “And let’s say for argument’s sake - you get to ‘know’ Raisman better - what about afterwards? Will you two keep getting to ‘know’ each other with an entire ocean between you?”

“That’s thinking a little bit too far ahead, isn’t it?”

Lieke gives Eythora a worried glance. “It’s my job to think too far ahead. Also,” she trails off, slightly chagrined but completes the sentence anyway, “you have a bit of a reputation.” 

“Reputation?” When Lieke doesn't immediately elaborate, Eythora looks around questioningly at the rest of her friends, some who cast their gaze away to hide knowing smiles.

She glances back at Lieke, who pauses before saying, “You tend to get interested in people, and then they get interested in you, and then you… well, you lose interest.”

Oh. Eythora sighs. Lieke may have a point. Still - “This is different.”

“But - “

“Don’t worry. Our team and the competition comes first, always,” Eythora interrupts with a reassuring certainty. “But Mustafina or no Mustafina, I know someone worth taking a risk for when I see them.” Eythora pauses to reminisce the tiniest of details. The way Aly’s lashes lowered over eyes of uncompromising decency, the sweetness in her voice. Her pulse picks up immediately, something that almost never happens outside of competitions, and especially not because of a girl she barely knows. “I can’t quite put my finger on why, yet. But she is that someone.”

Eythora grins at her stunned teammates like she’s just solved one of the secrets of the universe. “You know how I know this is different? I think she’s the first someone.”

----- 

The second thought Aly Raisman has when she sees Eythora off in the distance is laced with confusion.

It was the day. Team freaking finals day. 

The sun beats down, casting a brilliant golden shadow over everything in sight. As usual, Aly is making her way around the leafy Village walkways, soaking in the peacefulness of another crispy, Rio morning. It would give her something to hold onto for later, when she led Team USA to what would hopefully be their second consecutive team gold. She was going to need all the superhuman calm she could store inside of her.

Aly also secretly hoped to run into Aliya again. Not that she knew what to do if that actually happened. Deep down, she still refused to believe their last encounter had been… the end. She knew it would haunt her for the rest of her life, if the last image of Aliya seared into her mind was the one of her resolutely walking away.

Preoccupied with her thoughts, Aly listlessly follows the curve of the footpath without really caring where it leads. It isn’t until she hears what sounds like a group of giant komodo dragons hissing at each other that she stops in her tracks to look up.

She’s unknowingly reached the centerpiece of the athlete’s village. A row of ridiculously pruned trees encircle an even more elaborate display of fountains that are noisily and unsuccessfully trying to sputter out water. Something must be wrong with the system. Her attention, however, is quickly drawn to the radiant flash of orange on the well-kept lawn next to the fountains, just a few short meters ahead.

The girl doesn’t appear to be bothered by the waterworks’ graceless sounds. Motionless, she stands with one leg fully stretched out in front of the other, her body low to the ground. Both her arms are raised above her head, the flats of her palms joined together, eyes closed, like she’s meditating in a basic yoga position.

Aly’s first thought was to spin around and head in the opposite direction. But for some reason she stops, back half-turned. Part of her wants to go up and say good luck for team finals, but maybe she doesn’t want to be disturbed. Then again, it might be rude if she just walked away without saying anything.

Indecision. The bane of her existence.

Just as Aly decides to side with her first instinct, a voice clear as crystal calls out to her. “Aly! Wait up.” 

She hears the light patter of someone jogging in her direction, and turns back around. As Eythora nears, Aly can’t help but grin at the girl's massive red-cheeked smile.

“Hey,” she says, sticking her hands into her jacket pockets, hoping this time round she can manage to not sound like a blathering idiot.

“Hæ,” Eythora says, her dimples showing.

“Hi…?” Aly repeats the sound she heard. It sounded like a hi, but with a coloration that made it sound archaic, like something courtiers used to say to each other in a medieval court.

“That’s hi in Icelandic.” 

“You speak Icelandic too?” Aly is impressed and feels a slight hint of shame, having spoken only one language all her life.

“My family is originally from there, so I speak it at home. It’s no big deal.” Coy, spirited eyes lingering on Aly, Eythora quickly changes subject. “Well, this is bumping into each other again very soon. I’m happy.” Her expression makes it seem as though all her birthdays have come at once.

Aly returns her smile, lost as to why the girl is so pleased to see her, but it sparks a little warmth in her all the same. “What are you doing up so early?”

“Probably the same reason as you,” Eythora replies.

It’s still early enough that Aly can count on one hand how many other athletes are carrying out their daily morning stretches on the sprawling lawns in front of the apartment blocks in the distance. “I take walks around here most mornings. It helps clear my head and gets me ready.”

“You are nervous, for today?” 

She really does have a knack for getting straight to the point, Aly thinks. Carefully, she redirects the question. “Why, are you?”

Eythora openly smiles at the guarded response. “Yes. Very nervous,” she says honestly.

“Actually, me too. A little,” Aly admits with a small grin. Pointing towards the foam mat (bright orange, of course) spread out on the grass, she asks, “And you? Is this what you do to get ready before a big competition?”

The girl nods. “I do special stretches that help control my nerves. They help me get into character for the artistic elements of my routines too.”

“How does that work?”

Eythora’s eyes brighten. “Why don’t I show you? Come.” She says it in a way that isn’t demanding at all, but causes Aly’s feet to automatically follow her back to the little oasis of calm she’s set up around her mat. As they walk together, the fountains finally find their groove, spraying the air with rivulets of water that criss-cross each other perfectly in the center of the oval pond.

“I was thinking about what you said the other night, about dancing. I wanted to tell you that I wasn’t completely comfortable with it either, at first,” Eythora says as she bends down to brush off blades of grass scattered over her mat.

Aly finds that hard to believe. “But you move so well.”

Looking up, Eythora’s sunny laugh skips through the air. “Thanks. It wasn’t always like that, though. I had a lot of spare time to practice. When my back started hurting, all I could do was walk around in an ugly brace, watching all the other girls train.”

“What happened?”

“It was a few years ago. No one knew what was wrong. Not even the doctors could tell me. I just knew it felt like…” Pausing, trying to describe the kind of pain it was, Eythora makes a circle with her index finger and thumb, as if holding a tiny pin, and makes repeated jabbing movements in the air. “Like this, all the time.”

“Wow,” Aly says quietly, imagining it for herself. “That must have been awful. And frustrating.”

Eythora stands, straightens the creases in her track pants and gives Aly a sideways grin. “It was difficult. And I was a baby about it for awhile. But it ended up working out really well. My coach used the time to teach me weird stretches and techniques to help me hold and express myself better on floor and beam. It can start out feeling a little stupid, but it works. Here, you start like this.”

She resumes the position Aly saw her in before, exhaling while she slides her right leg incrementally forward, sinking towards the ground. Then, as she very slowly inhales, her arms spread out, rising upwards and over her head, before her fingertips meet in a perfect arch at the top. Aly notices her back straightening, and a different kind of weighted aura settles into Eythora’s shoulders. 

“When you breathe out, you’re meant to empty yourself of well, yourself,” she explains. “But when you breathe in, you fill yourself with the character you’re meant to be. Me, for example, I’m a fearless warrior princess about to lead her troops into battle.” Opening one eye briefly to peek at the look on Aly’s face, Eythora laughs with what sounds like a rare hint of self-consciousness. “I warned you, it’s a bit strange.”

Aly considers it for a moment, and then shrugs with a smile. "I guess I could imagine myself to be someone who doesn't have two left feet." She’s grateful the girl trusts her enough to reveal what essentially is a trade secret.

Studying Eythora's position carefully, she starts to mirror her movements. It doesn’t seem too hard. Aly has no trouble getting to the first stance - she’s used to stretching out like this - but as soon as she lifts both arms up and starts to fill her lungs with air, her center of gravity suddenly shifts. 

For a split second, Aly feels like she’s about to topple in a heap to the ground.

Quick as lightning, Eythora’s hands reach out to steady her. Too embarrassed to thank her for her cat-like reflexes, Aly blushes when she notices that Eythora is standing close. Very close. 

“The hard part is controlling the breathing,” Eythora advises, her voice wafting a hair’s width from Aly’s ear. “It has to come for your diaphragm, right here.” She points to Aly’s lower stomach. “Do you mind if I…?” She leaves her sentence unfinished and glances down, where her hands are politely seeking permission to fix up a few things.

Oh.

“Oh, right. Sure,” Aly tries to say as casually as possible.

She instinctively tenses up as Eythora’s fingers deftly press down on either side of hips to shift them into a slightly different position.

Detecting the American’s nervousness, Eythora gives a light laugh. “Relax,” she instructs gently. She steps back to assess the placement of Aly’s feet, her mouth working into a concentrated frown as she swiftly adjusts an out-of-place shoulder, reaches around to place her palm against the small of Aly’s back to ease it into a straighter posture.

With parts of her mind panicking and falling all over themselves trying to figure out how to handle this unexpected amount of physical contact, Aly isn’t sure if she’s capable of relaxing in any sense of the word. So instead she focuses on breathing out, to empty herself of herself.

Breathes in.

I am captain of the best Olympics gymnastics team in the world. Totally not confused by the situation I find myself in right now.

-----

The second thought Aliya Mustafina has when she spots another girl wrapped around Aly Raisman is that bright orange is the ugliest color she has ever beheld in her life. Anyone caught wearing it should be sent straight to the seventh circle of hell. 

It’s a significant step down from her initial desire to strangle whoever is sporting that ghastly excuse of a jacket. Whoever it is that thinks they have a right to put their hands all over her like that. 

It was, however, beyond the power of her good senses to stop her feet from angrily walking over at full speed to confront Raisman and that girl who would soon be sorry she ever woke up this morning.

As she gets closer to the pair, a nasty possessiveness rear up inside of her. On some level, Aliya knows it’s unfair. She had, after all, told Raisman they could never again be anything more than rival competitors. She had chosen to walk away, because she wasn’t prepared to risk being driven to the edge of madness when the time inevitably came to lose Aly again. But to see her with someone else, doing… well, what the hell were they doing? 

“Aliya? Didn't expect to see you here. It's so nice to finally meet you!"

Consumed by a blinding storm of emotions, it takes Aliya a moment to register that she’s already standing hands on hips, scowling, in front of Raisman - who’s still stuck in a ridiculous position - and that girl, whom she now recognizes to be Eythora Thorsdottir.

Under different circumstances, Aliya would have introduced herself with a polite smile. She would have told the Dutch gymnast how she admired her style of artistic gymnastics. It was rare to see someone with such an intuitive sense of performance on the floor. She might have even good-naturedly whipped out the few limited Dutch words she knows. Aliya had heard only good things about Thorsdottir, had no reason to think ill of her.

Until now.

Now, she wouldn’t give a damn if Thorsdottir turned out to be the Mother Theresa of artistic gymnastics. The fact that she was pulling some amateurish stunt involving way more touching of Raisman than was necessary - that is, any touching at all - gives her enough reason to hate her with every single atom in her body. 

But all the smouldering rage Aliya is throwing her way doesn’t seem to affect the girl. Eythora is still watching her expectantly, hands still on Aly's waist. Aliya feels the muscles in her jaw tighten. As she returns Thorsdottir’s now amused gaze with the force of a harsh Siberian winter, she realizes the Dutch gymnast is making it very clear that whatever is going on, she's not one to be daunted.

A contrast to Aly, whose shocked eyes are instead fixed on Aliya like she’s seeing a ghost.

“Aliya? What are you doing here?”

From her full stretch, Aly had immediately whipped around to see who Eythora was speaking to. She had even managed to do it without falling flat on her face, although not without a huge effort.

“I ask same. For you.” Scorning Eythora, Aliya directs her frosty non-answer towards Aly. 

Eythora smoothly brushes off the slight and sticks out her hand. “Hey Aliya. I’m Eythora,” she says amicably, as if they were really were just two people who'd met through a mutual friend, and not two world-known gymnasts who definitely knew who the other was. She puts on a smile that pretends as if nothing explosive is lurking just beneath the surface between the three of them. But the way her keen eyes flick back and forth, calculating the complex equation of unspoken feelings, tells Aliya she knows more than she’s letting on.

The Russian eyes the hand distastefully, like it’s a personal insult. She wants to make it abundantly clear that she isn’t here to make friends, much less give a newly sworn enemy any satisfaction of being treated civilly. On the other hand, her better nature is urging her to do the bare minimum that civility requires and just shake the damn hand - but she can’t. Not when the image of Thorsdottir all over Aly is still replaying over and over in her mind.

A dragged out moment sucks all the pleasantness out of the morning air, before Aly finally springs into action.

“Eythora, I’m so sorry. I’ll be back in just a second.“ Aly shoots the Dutch gymnast a deeply apologetic look. The girl calmly assures her that it’s fine, and that she’ll wait for her right there on the lawn, causing Aliya to scowl even more. 

Aly grabs Aliya’s arm and drags her away, out of earshot. “Why are you being so rude? That's not you. What is your problem?” Aly hisses between her teeth, as soon as she’s sure Eythora can’t hear them.

My problem? 

Wrenching her arm free, Aliya fiercely points to herself - “Nyet. Problem not here,” - before stabbing a finger furiously against Aly’s shoulder, making her yelp in surprise. “Problem here.”

“Excuse me?” Aly shuts her eyes momentarily, massaging her temples with her fingertips.

“What you are doing with this girl?” It's not a question.

“I’m not doing anything! I just happened to walk past, and Eythora was nice enough to teach me some exercises to help. Anyway,” Aly shakes her head vigorously mid-sentence, “why do I have to explain myself to you?”

“I not want explanation,” Aliya retorts disdainfully. “Only asking you not to be with other girl on my…” struggling for awhile to really figure out what it is she wants to say, Aliya waves her hand towards the footpath, “road.”

“Your road?”

Aliya coolly crosses her arms, glaring. “Da.”

“Honestly, it’s like you Russians think you own everything.”

Without skipping a beat, Aliya shoots back dryly, “At least Russians know what we own. Not like Americans, always thinking they own what belong someone else.”

“Oh okay. So we're going there,” Aly snaps. She isn't one to lose her temper easily, but Aliya can nevertheless see her struggling to contain it. “We have enough to fight about without debating global politics in coded language.”

“Raisman, you think this is fight?” Aliya arches a condescending eyebrow.

Aly throws her hands up, clearly frustrated. “What do you want from me, Aliya? Didn’t you want me to stay as far away from you as possible? Why are you even talking to me?” Her voice notches up several volumes higher.

“I not ask you to stay away. Not from me. Never.” Didn’t this thick-headed American see that Thorsdottir was trying to take advantage of her? Didn’t she know her own reluctance to throw herself into a time machine, back to the heartache of London, wasn’t signal for ‘go, find a random girl’s arms and run into them’?

Surprise lights up on Aly’s face at the resentment in Aliya’s tone. “Let’s see. You told me that I’m nothing. Then you told me that we should just be normal competitors. Then we kissed. But when I told you that I love you, you told me to ‘take care of myself’, and practically ran away from me,” Aly rapidly ticks off each thing one by one on her fingers. “How else am I supposed to interpret that?”

“Yes. I say all these things. But I never say stay away. And never think you find someone so quick.” Even Aliya knows she’s starting to sound just a little unreasonable, but so what? She has a right to be upset after what she just saw. 

“So you expect me to hang around, but not get too close to you, and stay away from everyone else. God, you are really something!”

Aliya frowns defensively. “Something what?”

“No, nothing comes after the ‘something’. It’s just an expression. To say that you’re really… impossible. That’s it. You’re impossible.”

Before Aliya can respond with more vitriol of her own, Aly abruptly cuts her off, her eyes widening. “Wait. I know what this is.”

Annoyed at being derailed by an English technicality, Aliya puffs out her lips and glares in the direction of where Eythora is standing with her back towards them. “Da, what is this, Raisman? I want know too.”

“You’re jealous.”

“Jea - lous?” Aliya rolls the word off her tongue, then narrows her eyes and shrugs indifferently, the way she always does when she doesn’t recognize a word. Or when she does recognize it, but chooses to pretend like she doesn’t.

“Jealous. I can’t believe it. You, jealous.” Aly repeats the word, probably more times than is necessary. It grates on Aliya’s nerves. “It means you hate seeing me with other people.” She shakes her head. “But I don’t get it. You have someone, Aliya. Your boyfriend, in Moscow. What is it to you who I hang out with, who I end up with, who I kiss? It shouldn’t matter to you.”

“She kiss you?” Aliya is immediately beside herself, those few words being the only part of Aly’s rant that had jumped out at her and felt like someone had thrown a bucket of loose razor blades right at her. 

“No!” Aly yells, before suddenly remembering that they’re not exactly in a private setting appropriate for this kind of heated exchange. She lowers her voice, though clearly still incensed. “Of course she didn’t. Are you crazy? My point is, you have a boyfriend.”

Aliya freezes. She had completely forgotten about the phantom boyfriend she was supposedly seeing back home. It pours cold water over her rage, over the overwhelming relief she had felt upon hearing Aly say the idea of kissing Thorsdottir would be crazy. “Aly - ” she begins, but Aly doesn't let her get another word in.

“How do you think that makes me feel, knowing you actually have someone back home, waiting for you? There isn’t even anything happening here,” Aly gestures wildly back at Eythora, “but you think you have a right to be rude to my friend and tell me what I can and can’t do, who I can and can’t spend my time with? What is wrong with you?” 

Her words ricochet like an explosion, all thoughts of avoiding a fight now out the window. The fact that Aly is being so unusually articulate underscores just how mad she is.

Aliya inhales, an uncomfortable pall spreading over her. “Aly, boyfriend is not in Moscow,” she says, distressed.

“What?” Aly covers her mouth in horror. “Oh my god. Are you saying he’s here? In Rio? You brought your boyfriend to Rio, and all this time I’ve been…” She looks positively sick.

Not foreseeing this as the way the truth would come out, Aliya shuffles her feet miserably. To rip the bandaid off as quickly as possible, she lets it out in a single rushed breath, “No, you not understand. Boyfriend not in Moscow. Not anywhere. There is no boyfriend.”

“What?” Aly repeats. She stares at Aliya, dumbfounded.

The Russian’s raven eyes turn ashen, feeling guilty for not coming forward with this sooner. She doesn’t know why she didn’t. Was it a petty desire to get back at Aly for abandoning her all those years ago? A buried, disconcerting aspiration to drag Aly through the same kind of pain Aliya herself had gone through? Whatever it was, it should have been beneath her to keep this ruse going for as long as it had, no matter what Aly had done in the past.

“No boyfriend,” Aly says numbly. “But Maria… she said - ”

“She lie. She is,” Aliya sighs, "only try to protect me."

The American’s transformation as the truth sinks in plays out like a tragic film before Aliya’s eyes. She sees the confusion turn into horror, then utter relief, which slowly but surely darkens into outrage.

“You knew?” Aly hisses. “Why didn’t you say anything? Do you know how much it hurt to think you had… well that you… especially when I’ve never…” The girl chokes up, her hand coming up to wipe away a tear that’s escaped out the corner of her eye.

She really does care... Something twists in Aliya's heart. She never meant to hurt Aly like this.

“I don’t know what to think anymore," Aly continues in a strangled voice. "Am I still nothing to you, Aliya? Just some girl you’re competing against at the Olympics? If that’s all I am, why did you even come over? Why are you still here?” Her words rush out like an enraged waterfall.

When Aliya remains quiet as a tomb, Aly challenges in a tight voice, “Are you going to say anything?”

It’s not that Aliya has nothing to say. It’s that the sheer amount she wants to say has completely overwhelmed her. Seda’s piercing comments in the locker room the other day have taken on a whole new clarity. Even if falling for Aly had come at the cost of years of confusion and pain, it had all been worth it. Being Aliya Mustafina, she was always going to have said the word ‘ice’ to Aly Raisman, no matter how many chances she was given to relive that moment. Everything beautiful and tragic that happened from that point on was meant to happen. Getting hurt was just part of it. 

Aliya can't muster the courage to give herself to Aly in quite the same way as before - the scars of the past are too deep, the fears of the future too real. But the stubborn connection between them would never allow her to completely cut Aly from her life. It clearly doesn’t tolerate the possibility of Aly being with anyone else, either.

Of course, she can’t say any of this out loud. It sounds selfish in her head, simply because it is. This in-between world, where she wants to keep Aly at arm’s length while not allowing her to stray too far, would only condemn them both to a torturous kind of half-existence, neither of them able to move forward with their lives.

A heavy tiredness submerges Aliya from head to toe. She sees Aly’s face soften, then crease into a mournful frown, her expression reflecting Aliya's fatigue right back to her.

“Aly, I’m sorry," Aliya begins cautiously. "For not tell you this sooner. I want… I wish for things to be like what it is, before,” she whispers. She starts reaching out a hand, but then snaps it back to her side. “Before it hurt like this, always. But you, me, we have too much past. History that is too much, too heavy.”

There aren't words to properly express in words the remorse bubbling up to the surface inside Aliya. But then she’s never really needed them, not with Aly. She knows it shows in the way her eyes cloud over into iridescent pools of anguish, how her shoulders slump as if gravity is pulling on them a thousand times stronger than usual.

Finally, she hears Aly reply quietly, “No, I understand. I get it.” The girl lets out a defeated sigh. “It’s not like I’m blameless in all of this either."

The futility of their situation rises like a poisonous mist, choking Aliya and bringing small, despairing tears to her eyes. But before they can roll down her cheeks, a sudden shadow of hope projects onto Aly’s face, catching Aliya by surprise.

“How about we start over? Wipe the slate clean,” Aly offers carefully, scanning for Aliya’s reaction.

“Start... over?” Aliya echoes uncertainly. 

Acting on either a stroke of total craziness or total genius, Aly suddenly holds her hand out, as if she’s greeting Aliya for the very first time. “Hi. I’m Aly Raisman.”

Aliya stares at her like she’s lost it. The emotional strain of everything must have finally broken her.

“Aly. I do not think - ”

“You’re Aliya Mustafina. I recognize your face. It’s the one that rarely smiles and looks like it wants to snap people in half.”

The iciness sets into Aliya’s features before she realizes she’s just proving the girl’s point. “I do not snap people in half,” Aliya says stiffly, trying to rearrange her face into a softer expression.

A chuckle. “Well, I know a girl who would disagree. She has a thing for jokes. Knock-knock jokes, to be exact.”

Aliya stares at her, remembering the girl's long string of ill-fated attempts at getting her to appreciate her particularly lame brand of humor.

“She would say it’s very hard to make you smile,” Aly continues.

A small grin twitches at the corners of Aliya’s lips. “This girl… she is American?”

“Yeah. I think you might even know her.”

The intimate memory of those words swirl around them for a moment, one of many gossamer threads tying them to days gone by. A sadness stirs inside Aliya, but she pushes it aside.

“Many years, and she still not know American joke is terrible. It is not my wrong they are not making me smile.”

At that, Aly lets out a laugh that comes from deep within her. It’s a laugh Aliya has missed. A lot. Time ebbs and flows so easily around Aly - there’s rarely anything the girl says or does that doesn’t make Aliya feel that life is lighter and better. It’s why the barely perceptible smile on Aliya's face grows bigger, something that doesn't escape Aly's attention. 

“You know, judging by that smile, maybe American jokes aren’t as terrible as you think,” Aly suggests teasingly.

“Maybe not jokes make me smile. Maybe it is the American.”

They exchange grins. An extended, but not uncomfortable silence follows. If Aliya hadn’t known better, it’s almost like they’re flirting with each other all over again. 

“Aliya,” Aly finally speaks, her bright eyes growing serious. “Do you think we could maybe just be friends? People who aren’t crazy in love with each other, or aren’t crazy angry at each other all the time. Just friends.” 

Aliya hesitates. There was a bag of mixed feelings around being ‘just friends’ with Aly Raisman. For one, she didn’t even know if it was possible, let alone how it would work. But for now, it sounded like a feasible solution to their impasse. She knows she needs Aly in her life somewhere, even if it isn’t going to be the same as before.

Aliya finally gives a tiny nod. “Friends.”

Aly releases a breath. “Okay. Friends.” She repeats it, like a strange concept to try and wrap her head around. As they stand wordlessly facing each other, Aliya looks towards the winding footpath, realizing she’s been gone for too long, but unwilling to leave Aly just yet.

“You have to go?” Aly asks, seeming to sense Aliya’s thoughts. She glances back towards where Eythora is still waiting. A crease appears in her forehead, making visible her uncertainty about what to do next. “Did you want to join us? Eythora and I were about to head back to the cafeteria.”

A hint of spite zips through Aliya’s mind at the mention of Thorsdottir’s name, but she firmly reigns it in. If she was going to get used to being friends with Raisman, she was going to have to get used to not being so possessive over her being around other girls, too.

“No, I am already late. I must go. Please tell Eythora sorry - ” Aliya struggles to articulate exactly what it is she wants to apologize for. “It is all mistake. When it is better time, I will say sorry myself.”

“Okay. Well. I guess I’ll see you around.” 

Aliya wonders if she's just imagining the reluctance with which Aly said that. She makes as if to turn around, but then promptly remembers something. “One more thing, Raisman.” 

Aly's soulful eyes latch onto her. “Yeah?”

“Good luck. For today. I know you will be strong for your team.” 

When Aly breaks into one of her beautiful smiles that fills the entire space around her with a glow, Aliya is reminded of what the eighth wonder of the world is.

“Thank you. And good luck to you, too.”

Aliya wishes the girl would stop smiling now; she’s forgotten how incredibly distracting it can be. “No, it is okay,” she hurries to reply.

Aly gives her a puzzled look. “No?” 

“Russia never need luck.”

The American laughs. “Well, we don’t need it either - I just said it to be polite.”

“Even you win, you will win because of Russia.”

“Why, because you and your girls are planning to hand us the team gold? That’s sweet of you, but we can take it from you just fine ourselves.”

Smiling, Aliya puffs out her chest. “No. Because floor music.”

Aly stops short, confused. “Floor music?”

“Da. Your floor music. Yablochko, from Glière’s Krasnyi Mak. And Kalinka. You think I not see you steal our songs? If you win, you will owe Russia for this.”

Aliya's face stretches into a triumphant smile when Aly freezes, clearly struggling to think of an acceptable comeback. “You might have a point,” the girl eventually concedes. Then, in a softer murmur, “I didn’t think you knew.”

There’s a drumming that starts beating against Aliya's ribcage. Of course I knew. But she doesn’t give an audible reply, only holds Aly’s gaze for as long as she’s able to without feeling like she might drown in them, which doesn’t end up being very long at all.

No longer having any valid reason to stretch out their time together further, Aliya smiles one last time, excuses herself and turns to make her way towards the footpath. She notes with hidden pleasure the barely contained disappointment in Aly’s own goodbye.

As the Rio sun ascends higher above the calm ocean in the distance, Aliya squares her shoulders, her steady strides taking her closer to where teammates should be rousing themselves out of fitful, pre-team final sleep right about now. Despite the pressure of the upcoming day, Aliya feels light; a long-lost sense of rightness with the world has worked through and loosened every muscle in her body. Knowing she and Aly Raisman have found some semblance of peace with each other is surprisingly liberating.

Maybe this new alignment of things, where Aly Raisman is still part of her world, if only as a friend, might actually work.

Friend. 

Aliya sounds the word out in Russian.

What a strange concept to wrap her head around.

[theonstyles]

Eurovision 2017

[creampuff-earper]

Kate McKinnon Fanfiction. Foldingchairs and the city of dreams. Chapter 8

Hey guys, I’ve decided to post my fanfic about Kate McKinnon on here.You can find it on AO3 as well: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8275334/chapters/18957797

Summary: This fanfiction tells the story of a fan, just like any of us, meeting Kate and everything that happens after that.

It takes off at SNL, later on Nino will be there and Kate is the most amazing person in the world. What could one want more?

Rated M 

Chapter 8 

When there’s no text when I land in Amsterdam I feel slightly disappointed. Although I know it’s around 5 am right now I’m still disappointed. I quickly text Alice letting her know I’m about to get my bags and head for the exit.

How on earth was I’m going to explain what happened last weekend… After the date, I only texted Alice some vague details about dinner and the bar but I hadn’t updated her ever since.

This was going to be hard a conversation filled with screams and to many questions and I didn’t look forward to it.

 I collect my bags and brace myself for the encounter with my best friend.

 I smile when I spot her holding a cardboard sign reading “My favorite Homo” and walk over to be engulfed in a warm hug.

 “Hi weirdo, thanks for the sign” I mumble into her shoulder.

“Hmm yeah whatever…” she mumbles back and takes a step back to take a look at me.

 “What haven’t you been telling me bitch?” She spits out and I laugh.

“Hello to you too Alice…”

“No you don’t get to do that. You go on a date with a celebrity and suddenly the text stop, for all I knew you were kidnapped by some creep or worse…”

“I’m back, right?”

“Shut up!”

“I love you” I coo and blow her kiss in the air. “Now let’s go, I need a shower”

“I hate you so much, and I’m soo not done with you, but I agree, you need a shower.”

“There is my best friend!” I smirk and we make our way out of the airport, glad to have made it out of the conversation for at least another 10 minutes.

 In the car back home I can’t prolong it any longer and tell Alice about everything that happened last weekend.

At some point I had to grab the wheel to prevent us from crashing into the car next to us because Alice freaked out so much.

 “ALICE! Do you need me to drive or what?!”

“Oh shut up, you don’t get to judge after what you just told me.”

“Still, I want to come home, alive preferably…”

 After a silence in which Alice visibly is working through all the information I just gave her she looks at me again.

 “Eyes on the road…”

 “Bitch you didn’t…”

“I did”

“You had sex with KATE MCKINNON?”

“hmmmm”

“I hate you so much…”

“Dude you’re as straight as a stripper pole”

“Still !”

 “And what happens now? You’re just going to live with the fact you slept with her and continue living like it’s nothing…?”

“Dude of course it’s something! You know me...! She was the first one since Julie... It’s not like I’m just going to treat that like it’s nothing… I feel bad enough as it is.”

 “Mykah, you know she wanted you to keep living your life. You don’t have to feel bad for her…”

 “I know, but I still felt bad afterwards… Like I had cheated on her or something… I even told her about Julie. I never talk about her to strangers… But she’s got this thing about her… It’s like, it felt like I had known her all my life…”

Alice grabs my hand over the stick shift and squeezes it. “you got it bad, don’t you?”

I just sigh and nod.

 “Why can’t I just be a regular person who has sex with other people and doesn’t’t develop feelings… just casual, plain, one night stand sex.”

“Because you are you!”

“Yeah but dude I’m just another notch in her belt and she has probably already forgotten about me and I’m on the other side of the world pining over her.”

“I know…, I know.”

 We share the remainder of the car ride in a somewhat uncomfortable silence that I have never experienced with Alice. She probably just didn’t know what to say. She has been pushing to go out and meet new people for half a year now, telling me to start dating again, but that was the whole point. Never in my life had I dated, I met Julie when we were 18 and 4 weeks later we were in a relationship. So much for the lesbian stereotype. But my point being, I had never really been with anyone else than Julie and I had no idea how to go about this dating thing.

But when I had been at the restaurant with Kate making small talk and joking around with her it had felt like that’s what it’s supposed to be like.  

And then when we had shared a couple of beers and talking and being around her had become even easier I had allowed myself to enjoy the feeling she released inside of me.

As much as that feeling had scared me, as it still did, it also cracked open a bold part of myself that I hadn’t seen in quite a while. As I stared into her eyes at her kitchen island that night, she had unlocked a raging desire that scared me to death.

Not for a second when I was with her had I felt guilty towards Julie, but back in my hotel room, scrubbing the remainders of the night and morning away, my stomach turned and my heart ached for the beautiful girl who left this earth and me way too early.

She was the one I was supposed to get old with, she was my best friend who knew me like no one else, the person I wanted to have children with and wanted to marry.

But fate, or some sort of screwed up force, faith or being that I didn’t believe in had other plans.

 My buzzing phone snaps me out of my train of thoughts.

 I push the home button and as the screen lights up, again, so do I. I unlock my phone and read the message carefully, afraid if I read it too fast it will disappear. The familiar flutter in my stomach is back within seconds and a big smile spreads across my face.

Alice notices it right away and grins.

“Is she texting you?”

“hmmmm” I hum, reading the text once more.

 13:20 K: Morning stranger, hope you had a safe flight! :) Let me know when you’re home! Hope to hear from you. XoXo

“You’re lighting up like a Christmas tree, you doofus” Alice laughs and I blush.

“Shut up”

“Oh my god, you’ve got it bad, you sucker.”

I just glare at her and contemplate if I should text her right now or wait until I got home.

 “Just text her, or you’re head is going to explode all over my recently cleaned car, and I hear brains are a sucker to get out of the fabric…”

“You watch too much TV, creep” I laugh and shove her lightly in the shoulder

“Your own fault entirely! Now go on, text your lady!”

“Don’t say that…”

“Your booty call then, whichever you prefer…”

I sigh and Alice laughs. I hate her so much sometimes.

 13:26 M: Good afternoon! Not home yet but Alice (my best friend) is driving me back. If I survive I’ll be sure to text you haha. Have a good day! X

 I press send and a nervous jitter settles in the pit of my stomach. This was insane. I feel like a nervous teenager who’s about to get her first kiss.

 13:27 K: You did tell her I’m a very big celebrity with a lot of influencual friends, right? So if she doesn’t get you home safe I’m sure to have a number or two to call…

 13:27 M: Haha talking big are we… never picked you as one of those people who used their famousness to get things done… But I guess that’s not the only thing I was wrong about…

 13:28 K: I guess you don’t know me at all… I use my fame for literally anything. They don’t call me a diva for no reason, I own that title…

 13:29 M: Am I texting with Kate McKinnon or is this Pamela Anderson? Sorry for the mess up, you’re both blonde I guess…

 13:30 K: Asshole…

 13:30 M: No, but seriously, do I have the wrong number?

 13:31 K: Image* I don’t think Pamela Anderson owns an exact copy of the bed you vacated in yesterday… But hey if you’re still not sure be free to stop texting…

 The image shows Kates messed up bed and my cheeks get hot.

 13:32 M: Nice bed you have there but if you were Pamela Anderson why on earth would I stop texting… She has a fortune I might get my hands on with my smooth talk… That’s what I tricked you with anyways…

 13:33 K: Pfft, whatever. But anyways we were talking about getting you home safely… You there yet?

 13:33 M: You texted me 5 minutes ago… The Netherlands is a small country, but not that small…

 13:33 K: How on earth could I know, but I gotta go, work’s calling. Talk to you soon okay?

 13:34 M: Yeh no problem, have a good day at work! I’ll let you know when I’m home ;). Byeee

13:34 K: Good luck with your jetlag! XoXo

 I let my phone drop back into my lap and my smile nearly breaks my face in half. In my texting spree I didn’t notice Alice glancing over at me every other moment and when I look up she’s grinning at me.

 “Dude you got it soo soo bad, it’s embarrassing!”

“Shut up…” I spit out but I know she’s right. I love talking to her, it’s like she awakens some sort of goofiness inside of me that I can’t control. I run my face over my hand and sigh, how on earth was this going to end…

 ------------------ 3 weeks later --------------------

 Kate and I had been texting nonstop. In between figuring out time zones and work schedules we were actually getting to know each other. It became a ritual to text her goodnight and good morning although I knew they didn’t make sense in her time zone.

We talked about nearly anything, my work and hers, things we experienced through the day, our friends and there was an unspoken contest who could sent the most pictures of their pet. I think I have over 150 pictures of Nino now and she’s got a similar amount of Doc, my dog.

I learned a lot about her grueling schedule on SNL and every day my admiration for her hard work grew. Nonetheless her hours, every time we talked for hours and she was always interested in my never-ending stories about work.

Talking to Kate had soon become the highlight of my day, and that didn’t go unnoticed by my friends and co-workers. As much as I tried not to be too obvious about the whole thing they were starting to complain about me being glued to my phone.

Except for Alice. She was also the only one who knew the whole story. She didn’t complain but quite often she rose the question of where this was going, and to be honest I still had no idea. For now, it felt amazing to have someone to talk to and joke around with and sometimes even flirt with. It made me happier than I had been in a long time.

 ------5 weeks later------

 I was having lunch at my job and this was usually when Kate woke up to get ready for work. I impatiently waited for her belated good morning text like everyday but as my lunch time passed and I had eaten all my sandwiches and there still was no text I felt my stomach drop. Maybe she was just sleeping in or no, she probably overslept again and now was flagging down a cab to get to work on time. I slid my phone back into my pocket and got back to my work. Every second I got I quickly checked my phone to see if I got any new messages, but no luck.

After work I decide to text her, maybe something had happened…

 18:32 M: Hey stranger, haven’t heard from you today, everything alright?

 I spend my night with Alice and her boyfriend Josh binge watching anything we could find on Netflix. Although I’m usually really serious about my TV shows but I couldn’t focus on what was happening on the screen. I held my phone tightly in my hand, in case it buzzed, being fed up with why I hadn’t heard anything from Kate today.

After the millionth glance at my phone Alice finally decided to ask what the hell I was doing.

“She didn’t me text today…”

“Oh… Well maybe her phone broke or something, nothing to be worried about, right?”

“Yeah, I guess…”

 “Mykah, stop worrying please and just watch your show, it’s weird watching Orange without your constant scoffing when Ruby Rose comes on the screen. Right Josh?”

 “Hmmm yeah…” He humms as his eyes stay trained on the screen, showing Natasha Lyonne having sex with a random chick.

 I snort and throw my phone on the table. It was probably nothing. She would text tomorrow for sure…

 The next morning I wake up to two messages from Kate. My heart rate speeds up as I fumble to get my phone unlocked as fast as possible.

 03:07 K: Hey you, sorry been busy all day, hope you had a good one.

03:07 K: Oh, and goodnight ;)

 I try to store the disappointment of her short text away as I text her my usual good morning.

 07:14 M: Hey, no problem, just a bit worried! Hopefully you get a good night’s sleep! Hope to talk to you when you wake up! Xxx

 The relief of her text doesn’t last long when at lunch I don’t receive a text, again.

 This continues for a couple of days, with her texting in the middle of the night, telling me she was busy or didn’t have or phone or another excuse of why she didn’t text that day.

After day 6 I wake up to no new messages.

I know she doesn’t owe me anything but it hurts none the less. I had gotten so used to talking to her every day, sharing my day with her.

It’s weird watching a new SNL that weekend without having any idea what Kate’s going to do, or what sketch I have to keep my eye out for some Easter egg or inside joke the cast came up with.

It’s weird not knowing how she spend her days or what Nino had broken in the 5 minutes she went out for groceries.

I found myself more often than not staring at my phone, hoping it would magically lit up and see Kates texts or reading back into the endless string of texts we had shared before.

 But every day without a new text my faith in this magic reappearance faltered.

 -------- 8 weeks later ---------

 More and more as everyday passed it felt like New York never happened. The texts had stopped completely, as did the courage to text her first. Ever since I had came back I had tried to avoid social media, twitter in particular, but couldn't help it last night. I had opened twitter with the excuse to get rid of the annoying notification number at the top of the app, but when I saw my updated timeline my heart stopped.

Of course there was a post lingering on top of the screen with a new picture of a broadly smiling Kate who had her arm linked with some girl I didn't recognize. The tweet read "look at our happy bean! She deserves nothing but love and luck! I hope it works out"

With my finger on the home button and a turning stomach I should have gotten to rid of the picture before I was going to throw up, but I couldn't.

At least now I knew why the texts had stopped...

Fueled by a growing anger, that I knew I wasn't entitled to, I put my finger on the screen and started to scroll down the feed.

I immediately regretted following so many Kate/Holtzmann fan accounts before, as various pictures and quotes passed before my eyes.

I finally ended upon a retweet from someone that read:

@justjared: Kate McKinnon and supposed girlfriend attend premiere of Melissa McCarthy’s new comedy.

It showed the same picture as the tweet before and I dropped the phone on the couch next to me. I had seen enough.  

 -----------12 weeks later------

 Somehow I managed to try and forget about the lady that stole my heart almost 3 months ago in New York. And although at first it had been hard, as the weeks passed it became easier to just go on with my life. Alice advised me to stop watching SNL and apart from cheating on some clips I had avoided Kates sketches pretty well.

As my daily routine, without texting Kate, slowly reappeared again, so did the urge to go out there and meet new people. Alice had set me up for a night of drinking and dancing in a gay bar this weekend and I was actually looking forward to it.

 That Wednesday I have a late lunch and decide to check my phone for the first time today. When it lights up, so do my cheeks. 

After 6 weeks of radio silence, there, right there on my screen was a string of  texts from Kate. 

Most of them too long to read in the notifications so I unlock my screen and take a deep breath. 

I have to scroll up quite a bit to read the beginning of her spree. 

 12:45 K: Hey stranger, good morning! I know it's been a while... Just wanted to check how you're doing! 

 13:02 K: Either you're ignoring me or your work schedule has changed... Which is fine, either way. 

 13:16 K: ... I'm okay btw. 

13:17 K: I know you hate me right now, but please don’t leave me hanging here…

 13:45 K: Danny asked me about you last night... He remembered you after he saw your name on my phone, he told me to say hi, so here you go. 

 13:46 K: okay, this is getting awkward now. Really hope you're just not checking your phone 

 13:47 K: if you're not ignoring me, please text me asap, we need to talk. 

13:47 K: if you are ignoring me text me anyways. 

13:47 K: I am not kidding. 

13:52 K: please

 That last text was half an hour ago. 

Why in the hell would she text me now, out of nowhere... Maybe she and her girlfriend broke up and she needed some attention... Pfft finally I was dealing with the fact that whatever we had was over and now she starts texting again. For fucks sake. I chew on my bottom lip contemplating if I was going to text her back or not.

 I hate myself for not being able to fight the urge to find what she has to say, so I budge and text her back, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. 

14:25 M: Hey, working rn, we can talk later, I'll be home at 8 (2 pm) 

 I couldn't even lock my phone before she already replied. 

 14:26 K: Jezus christ woman, I thought the youth was practically attached to their phones... no just kidding, thanks for replying. 2 will be fine! Talk to you then! 

 I couldn't help the small smile creeping on my face after reading her text. I quickly stuff away my phone and join Julie outside. Already feeling a 100 times better than the past 6 weeks. 

 The end of the day came closer and closer as we quickly dismantled all the activities and stored them back in the big sea containers at the back of the park.

 After the debrief I couldn't wait to get home, I quickly said my goodbyes and jumped in my car. On the way back I got some groceries and texted Alice the (good?) news. 

Of course she insisted on coming over, so I prepared a meal for two and quickly took my dog out for another round as the food boiled on the stove. 

 As the minutes grew closer to 8, the more nervous I became. What on earth did she have to say after more than a month of silence that was so important that she insisted on talking tonight. 

This was a SNL week so if I remembered correctly her schedule today consisted of writing and a table read with the host. That meant that 2 would be not convenient for her at all. This must be important. 

 When I got back to my apartment, Alice already let herself in and was just serving 2 big plates of mac and veggies. 

 My dog launched at her and I couldn't help but smile at the sight. How much I wished for this to happen every day. Coming home to a person I loved, cooking dinner for us both. If only it wasn't my very straight friend Alice that had been that person ever since my last girlfriend passed away. 

 "Hey you! I just saved this pathetic excuse of a meal before it burned down your house..." 

 "Hello to you too..." I growl back at her and throw myself on the couch. The anxiety of talking to Kate in a few left me exhausted. 

 Alice places our plates on the coffee table in front of us and puts out her hand waiting for me to put my phone in it. 

 "Hug first" I mumble into the pillow and I hear Alice sigh. 

Not in an annoyed way but she knows how this situation is making me feel and she can’t really help me with it.

 She bends down on top of me and despite the awkward position she hugs me the best she can. We stay like that for a while and the physical contact calms me down right away. 

 "Come on homo, let's eat." 

She finally says and pecks me on the cheek "your combination of ingredients I don't know the name of is getting cold" 

 "Hmmf shut it asshole" I growl back and hoist myself into a sitting position. 

 I grab my fork but before I can shovel anything into my mouth Alice holds up her hand once again. 

 "I hate you, you know that right?" I say again and toss my phone into her hands. 

 "I know, love you too." She replies before unlocking my phone and reading the texts. 

 I silently eat my food as I wait for her to finish reading. Alice was right, it was a crappy combination of ingredients, but it was food nonetheless. How I hadn't starved by now was beyond me. I was very thankful for Alice and my mom sometimes stocking my freezer with pre-cooked meals that only needed to be microwaved. 

Cooking was something my girlfriend always did. I royally sucked at it and when she passed away I spent my days crying in bed and eating ordered food, if I ate at all. 

It wasn't until Alice temporarily moved in and forced me to maintain a healthy schedule, cooking for me and dragging my ass to the gym to gain some of my strength back so I could go back to work, it felt like I was alive again. It took me a long ass time to feel like I had something to live for again. So, when Kate happened and I felt happier than in forever it only hurt worse when she decided to ditch whatever we had.

 "Hmmm kay" was all she said when she put the phone down. 

"Right?" 

"Do you have any clue what she wants to talk about?" 

I shake my head and shovel another forkful of my superb creation in my mouth. 

 "What do you want her to talk about?" 

"Uhh maybe about how she managed to ignore my existence for the past 6 weeks..." 

"Fair enough" 

I glance over at the clock and see it's 7:50. 

I slouch back into the couch and sigh. "I hate that she has this power over me..." 

 "I know..." 

 Silence falls over us as we watch the minutes pass by. 

 "Hey you can go if you want, there's no fun in watching someone text" 

 "Don't be silly, it's not like I've anything to do at home, Josh isn't home, so I'm just gonna watch some Netflix on your ridiculous big TV. 

 I snort and shake my head. 

"Fine... but you’re not gonna grab my phone from my hand every second okay?" 

 "I can't promise anything" Alice replies with a big grin on her face and reaches for the remote, turning on my "ridiculous big" TV. 

 Before I can smack her in the head my phone buzzes on the table and both our heads snap up and watch the illuminated screen. 

Reluctantly I reach over for the phone and unlock it. 

 K: Hey! You there yet?

M: Yep, just had dinner with Alice. 

K: I presume Alice cooked since your still alive and all? ;) 

M: ha-ha really funny, I have you know I cooked it myself and it was delicious. 

K: hmmmmmmmm

M: okay it was not, and Alice saved if from burning when I was walking Doc. 

 Okay, how did she manage to plaster a smile on my face within a minute... 

 K: Knew it haha. 

M: yeah yeah whatever. 

K: I still have to cook for you one day...

M: is that so?

 I tried to play this as nonchalant as possible, still not sure where we were going with this. 

 K: you made me promise! And as you know by experience I am big on keeping those.... 

 My face got very hot at the reminder of that particular moment and Alice glanced over with a confused look on her face. I just shrugged and diverted my eyes back to the screen. 

 M: how could I forget...

K: me either... I wouldn't mind cashing in that promise again in the future... 

 My cheeks were burning my now, why was she playing games with me. This wasn't fair to me and I knew it. Despite how much I wanted to take a plane over there right now and pin her down to the closest horizontal surface, I knew it wouldn't be fair. 

This had to stop. 

 M: Kate... 

K: Right. Sorry.  Got a bit carried away there. 

M: You wanted to talk? 

K: Yeah... 

M: So...?

K: Uhm so... 

K: Are you maybe up for calling? It would go a lot faster than texting. 

 My stomach turned and my heart rate sped up... we had never called before. 

 I turn my head to the side and see Alice studying me closely. 

 "You okay?" She carefully asks.

"She wants to call..." 

"Oh"

"Yeah" 

"Maybe you should do it... maybe it'll be easier to let her know how you feel about all of this..." 

"Maybe" 

"Yeah" 

 My phone buzzes in my lap again.

K: if not that's fine...

M: no, hold up. I'm gonna move to my bedroom, Alice is getting on my nerves 

 I lie and glance apologetically at my best friend. 

"I'm gonna call her from my bedroom, kay?" 

I say as I walk to the room, not waiting for an answer. 

"No phone sex in there or I'll never cook you any food again!" 

 "Just don't eavesdrop and you won't find out!" I shout at her before closing the door

 "You know I will" I hear her shout back and I snort. She's too predictable. 

I sit back against the headboard and plug my headphones in. 

 R: You can call now if you want.

K: Okay, hold on. 

 I nervously wait for a couple of seconds before seeing her caller ID pop up on my screen. I slide it to answer the call. 

 "Hey" I croak out, my throat tight from the anticipation. 

"Hey you!" Kate enthusiastically beams and I nearly faint there and then. I hadn't heard her voice live since that morning in New York, sure I had heard it on SNL every weekend, but still it was different. 

Not realizing I had been silent for too long Kate asks: "hey, you still there?" 

"Yeah yeah, it's just good to hear your voice." 

"Good to hear yours as well." She says and I almost hear her smile. 

“So what did you want to talk about, after 6 weeks?” I suddenly spit out, not able to handle the way she messes with my emotions by simply talking.

There’s another silence on her side and my heart starts beating fast, maybe that was a bit too forward…

I hear her clear her throat and slightly sigh.

“I’m sorry Mykah, I’m sorry that I stopped texting… But that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about…”

I swallow down the lump in my throat. Hearing Kate down like this makes me want to tell her it’s alright. That it didn’t hurt, and that she shouldn���t apologize. But it did hurt, like hell, when she just stopped replying and left me wondering if I had said something wrong or if she maybe something had happened or if she finally decided I wasn’t entertaining anymore.

“Okay” is all I croak out and my chest feels like exploding, my anxiousness flying through the roof.

I hear Kate shuffling on the other side and just when I am about to ask if she’s alright she takes a deep breath and starts explaining.

 “I met someone. I met someone and uhmm… we uhmm… we dated… we dated for a while and then it became something more than dating and she got jealous. She got so jealous. And she made me promise, and I know I shouldn’t have but I did, and it felt so bad because you did nothing wrong. And I love talking to you but she made me promise, and you know, you know I’m big on promises and I thought she was everything but she thought my career and the red carpets were everything and I was blind…

 Kates ramble makes my brain overflow with new information that I’m still trying to place together when she finishes.

“She was the girl at the movie premier, wasn’t she?” I say as I feel sick to my stomach. I didn’t have any ground to stand on, we had one night together, but I couldn’t help but feel like throwing up finally realizing I had been right when I saw that picture on Twitter. The thought of someone touching her like I had was driving me mad with an angry jealousy that was burning trough my veins right now.

 “Yeah…”

I bite the inside of my lip trying to calm down before saying anything that I was going to regret.

“Good for you” I manage to say without sounding too bitter.

“It’s over”

“Oh”

“Yeah”

“I’m sorry to hear that”

“Don’t be, it wasn’t healthy”

“Still”

“Mykah…”

 The way my names sounds from her lips makes me blush so hard I’m afraid my cheeks are on fire.

 “She made me promise, but every day I thought of texting you… It wasn’t easy not talking to you.”

 Lost for words at her revelation I fiddle with my fingers as I hear her breathe on the other side of the line.

I am crap at expressing feelings, let alone admit them to someone that made my heart beat out of my chest by simply existing.

 Braving the silence, I finally speak out.

 “So what does this mean?”

 “I don’t know honestly”  

 “Yeh, me either…”

 “We could just go back to the way it was before? Or we don’t…”

 “Yeh we could, but what if….”

 “What if?”

 “What if you meet someone again, and you leave me hanging, again…”

 “I won’t”

 “You can’t promise that…”

 “I will, right here and now, that I won’t let that happen again.”

 I chew on my bottom lip as I contemplate letting her back in. Although I know my heart has already made the decision for me, the thought of falling to her mercy once again only to be left heartbroken once she decides some other decision is more important. Why was she so reluctant to get whatever we had back in the first place? It’s not like we were in some kind of relationship. We just happened to fall in bed together exactly 46 days ago, but who was counting right? I had to know.

 “Why?”

 “Why what?”

 “Why are we having this conversation, why do you want to continue texting to some complete stranger, why are you apologizing for living a life, for making promises you have to keep? Why?

 Kate snorts and I feel like throwing up. Why did I put that question out there… As much as I wanted to know, I really didn’t. Because what if it was just because she needed someone to pass the time with in between shoots, writing sessions and shows. Someone that she didn’t have any obligation too but could shamelessly flirt with. Okay, I really didn’t want to know.

But I hear her take in a deep breath and I brace myself for what’s to come.

 “Because, when I wasn’t talking to you, every time something happened or I found about a new TV show or even when Leslie talked about a new dude again I wanted to tell you about it. I love figuring out time zones and work schedules and waking up to a new good morning text from 2 am. I think that’s why”  

 My cheeks get bright red at her confession, but somehow her words fueled an emotion inside me that didn’t surface very often.

 “Then why the hell stop talking with me… You’re a grownup woman who can make her own decisions…”

 “I’m sorry Mykah…”

 “I know……. but right now I’m not sure if that’s enough.”

 Kate is silent. My heart screams to tell her it’s okay, that I forgive her that I want to talk to her every day again like nothing happened but it’s not fair.

 “Just give me some time okay?” I say and I feel sick to my stomach for giving in so fast.

 “Okay…”

 Not knowing how to end this kind of finished conversation I just get it over with and reluctantly say the words that mean the end of hearing her voice.

 “We’ll talk later this week okay? I’m going to go now. Have a good day at work.”

 “Okay, yeah you have a good night Mykay. Thanks for taking the time to hear me out.”

 “Of course…”

 “Bye”

 “Bye”

 I cut the line and release a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

 FUCKKKK