#also I'm so sorry if some of this doesn't make sense

[thousandyearphantombunker]

https://dailycollegian.com/2023/12/there-is-no-bad-person-disease/#:~:text=There's%20no%20health%20condition%20that,do%20with%20your%20overall%20morality (not sure the links I've given are functional but y'all can copy them into your search bar anyway)

People with NPD are capable of apologizing for past behavior, admitting to weakness, sacrificing themselves, showing others respect and decency, they can have morals and some of them (not all) are capable of empathy which btw is not required in order to do something heroic- also it's possible to act heroic for selfish reasons. they have fragile egos and often can have complexes (like ya know a guilt complex that makes them an overly self sacrificing martyrs) I'm sorry tony being a good person/attempting to be better doesn't negate him from having the 'evil' cluster B personality disorder. Tony's self importance doesn't manifest as being cruel or outwardly selfish it manifests in his guilt complex and playing hero. His belief that he is special fuels his guilt further. He's a perfectionist.

"I expect more of myself than everyone else. I have to be perfect or I'm useless." - a diagnosed narcissist

He is cold and dismissive and he can brag a lot. He's a functional narcissist so he's not gonna freak out when criticized. It's almost like narcissistic people are people and are complex and aren't so solely just a bunch of negative symptoms and traits of their disorder. He's also got several disorders that are comorbid with NPD such as substance abuse disorder and he has an avoidant attachment style- perhaps to protect his own ego and cope with childhood trauma. He used to exploit others heavily and is kind of a toxic boss. He was rejected, and neglected by his father and praised for intelligence so much as a child and had to deal with a lot trauma before getting kidnapped by terrorists. All of the traumas he faced are common in people with npd

tony displays: arrogance, haughty behaviors, and attitudes. a grandiose sense of self-importance. a lack of empathy or an unwillingness to identify with the needs of others and behavior that is exploitative and takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends. It doesn't manifest as outright cruelty like I said his grandiose sense of importance actually motivates him as a hero and makes his ego weaker though he's functioning so he can still take a blow

I am mainly going based off the comics and I'm aware that the MCU tones him down quite a bit but he still displays some of these traits.

I remember back then when autism was also just a lost of negative traits/symptoms a school counselor would point to 'an autistic person have no empathy and are completely rigid and black and white in their worldview, they will break down over dumb things are violent etc' being autistic when I was kid didn't mean you were a kid with a disability it meant you were a brat and a burnout. It meant you were unhygienic and aggressive and RIGID- which according to way too many people meant robot control freak rather than seeking comfort in things like routine and lacking the skills/intellectual capacity needed to function outside of them or they have panic attacks when taken out their routine and ya know aren't being manipulative and are having involuntary emotional responses- and I would hear autism parents complain about their kids and i would hear adults raised by autistic people talk about the scars they had been left with and they deserved to vent because yeah it can be traumatic and stressful and they are victims but it became something ugly toward me. People with cluster B personality disorders have it way worse than I ever did (dear god they get criminalized) but I relate for a reason. I like characters like Tony because they have traits associated with stigmatized disorders and shows those traits in action vs how we envision them when hear about the disorder- when you hear self important you automatically assume it means selfish and don't realize how complex and different that trait can look across the board and we get to see that they are complex and capable and even good people. I know not everyone has to agree with the headcanon and I understand why many of Tony's fans get mad at this headcanon but you don't have the best knowledge of NPD I'm guessing. People hear traits like entitled and interested in success and power and automatically think of the worst case scenario- megalomania and taking whatever they want no matter the cost and don't see how those traits can manifest in a variety of ways and not all them are destructive. Your statement apply to some not all narcissists. I don't know if you have trauma and if you do I'm sorry if this reads as cold or mean but I really hate when people talk about personality disorders like this. Npd can manifest in a variety of ways

"everyone is different" yeah including freaking narcissists that wasn't a gotcha. Your statement was legitimately ableist

everyone who says that tony is a narcissist has probably never met a narcissist but as someone who lived with one for Fifteen Fucking Years I can tell u that he isn't even close to one

[dragon-ascent]

Hihiiiiii I ADORE ur works, especially chonkli and all the fluff just makes me so happy eeee I'm sorry if ur not taking request though more of a ramble is good!! I saw this ask by one user. Below is the exact thing 'I've had this on my mind for so long and I NEED to share it!

Imagine if reader has bees Morax/Rex Lapis wife/Husband for centruries by now. Two dragons in love BUT BUT, reader is like two or 3 times bigger than him in their dragon form with less bright colors and scarier in appearance. (In different reptile species the "female" tends to be bigger than the male and I just think is funny and has so much potential)

Rex Lapis looking like a noodle next to his spouse, is actually amusing' This is so adorable so maybe if we could have a few hcs? or maybe like a said before a bit more of a ramble about this? TY!!!

(if u dont mind for now I'll be anon 🎀)

Yaaay I'm happy you like my work!! Chonkli is one of my fave things to write and overall fluff is my jam, I find :D

And here you go, some rambles on the topic of long noodles in love~

While Zhongli is the smaller one (albeit still a very long boi), his lithe body allows for better combat efficiency. He always makes sure you're well-protected! That doesn't stop you from trying to watch out for him in turn. When you sense danger, you coil yourself around him, rumbling purrs reverberating through the mountains. Since your sheer appearance is more intimidating, to say the least, it usually does the trick to ward off potential attackers! (But if things got ugly, Zhongli would be more than happy to switch roles and be your protector.)

Maybe the people of the land even mistake you for the archon at first because of your imposing aura! Because surely it's the one way loftier than the mountains and with a glare that permeates steel...oh, never mind, you can barely chuck boulders half your size. It's the brown golden-eyed one with gentler purrs that's their god!

It's fun to soar across the skies and over the lands shaped by your lover - it's also fun to play hide-and-seek in these landscapes! You, uhh, kind of have a harder time staying hidden, both because of your size and because your tail wiggles nonstop when you sense him nearby, the vibrations sending mild shockwaves through the ground.

[alittlesongbirdchirps]

I'M A REAL BOY AU IDEA

THAT YOU CAN USE IF YOU SO WISH OR WANNA USE IT FOR INSP

So, what if when Jason died Bruce just broke not just by beating up criminals to near death but to the point he developed another personality not like  Zur-En-Arrh?

Different subconsciously he knew he couldn't do what he was doing as Batman to criminals.

So, it's kind of similar to Fight Club when Tim comes into being.

It explains why he knows who Batman and Robin are, and also why Tim nearly grew up identical to Bruce before his parents died because it's closer to the truth but not too much to be suspicious, that his brain would question it.

thinking of making it more magical in the sense with Zur-En-Arrh made a deal as Batman with Constantine for some magical bullshit. That would make Tim a physical being because Batman can't be viewed as mentally compromised.

But he also needs a Robin and what's more perfect than a Robin that has his intellect.

When Tim encounters Ra Al-Ghoul, he calls him detective because he knows he's not a fool he knows his true ties to Batman that somehow he is Batman, whether magic is involved or not.

Tim knows obviously, and it's also the reason why he knows Bruce is still alive because if he isn't he would disappear, well he can't reveal shit now like he's not even real because damn they will think he's crazier.

Tim and Zur-En-Arrh (sort of Ra's.) are the only two who know not even the other bat members, maybe Alfred suspects Tim might be a result of one of Bruces one one-night stands. But no one could suspect this.

Because Tim is a Robin that never dies, that never grows old he can't outgrow Robin.

I think it might come to light in many different ways, here are some examples.

Like either he ends up fighting Zur-En-Arrh and it's revealed as a tactic to throw batmembers off briefly so he can get the upper hand.

Or maybe at some point after sorting things with Jason and after Bruce was stuck in the time stream, Tim suddenly goes from looking like a very baby-faced 17-year-old to identical to what Bruce looked like at 19-20, because Batman doesn't need a Robin anymore LOL.

Another alternative idea, he could have been shot point-in-blank in front of bat members except for Bruce, cause as long as Bruce doesn't see it, basically means Tim is semi-immortal, or just even gets himself run through a sword and should be dead a bunch of blood but nothing, no stain it's like it never happened.

(Also, no Steph or Cass in the universe btw sorry.)

Side Note Adding This: Tim stands for, Temporary/Task, Intervention, Mission/Management.

[galadhir]

i think that there was a fanwriter named Nemis that wrote a lot of fics about E/C? i liked those fics!

My memory has never been good and after 20 years away it's completely unreliable, but still, that name rings a bell. I vaguely remember her being a nice person that I was aware of but never really interacted with because our areas of interest didn't quite intersect.

i hoped the show would give some spot to Celebrian … and instead. lol.

Indeed! I can just picture the show writers turning their noses up at the thought of writing Galadriel as a mother. She can't be a mother! Whoever heard of a mother being interesting? No one would think it was cool for Galadriel to be an actual queen and seasoned diplomat and seer, with a husband and a child.

Not to mention that Celebrian can't be interesting at all because she dies as a damsel in distress, so she must be a wimp all her life (ignoring the fact that everybody dies in distress.) People can't imagine that her life could have been interesting before that :( Sexism and failure of imagination again.

it would be interesting to see if anyone else had my idea … of course i have not read all the Galadriel/Celeborn fics out there so if someone has those, feel free to drop!

LOL! I'm sorry to end up dropping my own fics on you, but it sounds like you might enjoy my Oak and Willow

(Ignore all the tags, they were auto-imported from Henneth Annun when that archive backed up all its stories on Ao3 and then shut down.) And you can probably ignore chapters 1-4 if you're just in it for the C/G romance. They are world building for Doriath and setting up Celeborn's position in his home, with Thingol, Melian, Luthien and Daeron.

I originally started out intending this one to be a Sindarin history of the world, from the rising of the sun and the moon. But it rapidly became the story of C&G in the First Age. If I had known it was just going to be their love story against a backdrop of the events of the First Age, I might have left off chapter 1 at least, as that was setting up something I didn't actually write in the end.

But it is more or less what you're talking about. So if you're interested, you might like it :)

oh that's interesting, may i ask if it's still online? my beef with peter jackson started muuuuch later with the hobbit movies, but i like to see how other people reacted to the LOTR trilogy when it comes out

Yes, Battle of the Golden Wood is on Ao3 too - also imported from HASA (Henneth Annun Story Archive, which was the place to post elf fanfic back in the day.)

I agree with you about the Hobbit movies! Way too much bloat. There was the occasional nice thing in them - I enjoyed seeing Beorn's house and his bees, for example - but almost everything that PJ put in was grotesque and unfunny and unnecessary. The Hobbit would have made one great film, but there just isn't enough story in it to stretch to three.

as for what you say … i think that that's the current approach of Warner Bros, with its War of the Rohirrim stuff or whatever. i'm not enthusiast about it at all and i would probably complain about it too,

I know what you mean. I'm not enthusiastic either about a Rohirrim spin-off because it seems like they've picked the most low-effort story imaginable. Yes, you can use props from The Vikings and Game of Thrones. You can probably crib story lines from Bernard Cornwell's Anglo-Saxon stories. Have we not seen enough pseudo-early-medieval stories already?

I would have liked to see something we haven't seen before! (Which doesn't mean I won't at least check out the first season. But my hopes are not high.)

i do not want to be mean but btw i do have the feeling that a lot of rop fans are mostly migratory dark romance fans

Oh, the Reylo folks from Star Wars? That would actually make an awful lot of sense. They certainly behave like them. I managed to avoid them by being in the Kylux fandom at the time, and the Kylux fandom was numerous enough to just block them all and carry on doing our own thing regardless. Also a good time :)

it's lowkey … limitating? flattening? because neither galadriel nor sauron fit into this archetype and i do think that forcing them in this dynamic … just doesn't make them sauron and galadriel anymore? but i digress

I know exactly what you mean. I've mostly spent my fandom life in slash (m/m) fandom and there is a migratory slash fandom which is the same. If a pairing gets big enough then the msf will arrive and reduce it to a set of tropes and stereotypes, and then move on to the next big thing as soon as it arrives. In that case, you just have to wait for the next big thing and hope there is someone left still writing to pick up the fandom once they've gone.

Yeah at this point i do honestly wish that everyone can write its own retelling of lotr and publish it.

At least there is the opportunity for us to do it in Ao3, even if we're not allowed to make money on it. We can do it for love :)

Hoo, boy. I am definitely going to unfollow the Celeborn tag again, since it's full of Haladriel shippers arguing that Celeborn stans are harassing them.

I'm not getting into whether that's true. I have no interest in Rings of Power, and as far as I am concerned, Halbrand does not exist in Tolkien's world. I can't be somewhere where people mix Amazon's fanfiction with actual lore.

Also ship wars are not for me. I was a massive Celeborn defender during the release of the movies, and I wrote several novels worth of fanfic then. I think I'm spent.

Still, as a Celeborn fan I thought the Celeborn tag would be a great place to go to find stuff about Celeborn. How could I have been so foolish!

My poor lad! Not even his own tag is about him. Which is exactly what I should have expected, now I come to think about it.

[hopeswriting]

was thinking about takeshi and how he's my favorite brand of unconditional devotion btw. the utter and absolute and all-consuming kind that runs so deep to the very core and is so intrinsic and fundamental to it, it can only express itself in the most casual and natural and certain way. without second thoughts, without any room for doubts or for any moral dilemma to be had over it, because of course he ought to always be breathing and living for his chosen person first and foremost. of course he ought to hang on their every word and make them true no matter what, no matter what he has to do to make it happen, no matter what he has to do to other people to make it happen, and no matter what it might turn him into in the process. because it's obviously the way the world should be for his chosen person. at their feet, ready to bend over backwards and break and build itself again to better answer to all their needs even if they don't ask it for it. it's the only right way it should be for them, and of course takeshi's going to do his utmost at all times to make it a reality as much as possible.

and his devotion comes out as naturally as breathing, comes out lighthearted and nonchalant like he might as well be talking about the weather, but it's not unaware of itself. it's not that takeshi doesn't know it's unhealthy and wrong and that he's willing to go entirely too far in its name for anyone's good. it's not that he wouldn't hear you out if you were to sit him down and explain to him just why he needs to tone it down a little (a lot). logically, he'd agree with you and know you're right. and then he'd tell you he's still not going to do anything whatsoever about it. that he's not bothered by it and doesn't feel the need to change anything to his attitude. makes it a point to never let anyone or anything sway him even an inch in the stand he took when it comes to that, no matter how many thousand of times you might go over the subject with him.

because the morality of his devotion isn't the point at all. is entirely irrelevant to it and doesn't affect the way he expresses it all. it's not the metric with which he draws a line in the sand to hold it accountable to. because the thing is, takeshi's entire world revolves around tsuna--tsuna is his entire world altogether, and it's just a matter of fact, that simple. to him it's a truth as unchanging as the sky being blue, and so being the way he is according to that truth is the only way he can imagine being that'd feel right to him. and so the actual and only metric that matters here is "would tsuna be happier if i were to do this?" and/or "is this something tsuna needs me to do?"

and like. i don't think takeshi ever stops being a kind person capable of compassion and understanding and mercy and forgiveness even ten years later once they became mafia through and through. and i don't think either he grows up to be feared and called a monster per se despite the things they inevitably had to do during those ten years (and the things they'll inevitably keep having to do as long as they keep being mafia), at least not in the way, for example, they'll never stop fearing and calling mukuro one. but i do think that among the tenth gen, he ends up being the one with the most ruthless, merciless and horrific blood on his hands of that particular and distinct loving kind. you know the one i mean, right? he comes to be the one most expected and the one first expected to be willing and to take it upon himself to go through with it when the need arises. and to think little of it after, if anything at all. all in the name of making tsuna's reign as easy on him as possible.

and it's to the point where it's the kind of blood that makes even mukuro pause at times. or, when takeshi is the one coming up with solutions himself during meetings, makes even reborn blink. not because it's unjustified or wouldn't be safe or efficient or anything of the sort, but because it is unwarrantedly thorough in its retaliation. and sometimes, at times like this, he's the one tsuna needs to step in for the most, because he's the only one who can reason with him that "yes, this would work in getting rid of our problem" but "no, please, don't do that takeshi". because if tsuna is the only thing that infers on just how much and in what ways he'll let himself be devoted to him, then of course, he's also the only one takeshi's willing to reign himself in for without second thoughts. because he'd hate to ever do something tsuna would disapprove of or wouldn't want him to do. or do something that'd make tsuna see him differently or love him back less even in the slightest.

and it's also like. his devotion isn't an undisciplined one. it's not one he doesn't have control over, the very opposite. it's a very purposeful and conscious choice he chooses to keep making over and over again every step of the way, and he taught himself to have control over it, to know when it's needed and/or wanted, and how much and in which ways it is when it happens, and to keep it down otherwise. and, yes, to also reign it back in at tsuna's request at times when it still slips past his control. because it's all about making tsuna's happiness easier and secure and long-lasting, and never about burdening him with just how committed he is to do that.

so it comes down to this: takeshi willing to go above and beyond and more for tsuna unless tsuna explicitly asks him not to. and to tsuna needing to ask him not to every now and then. and to other people pointing out to him how too many times tsuna's already needed to stop him, and that maybe there's a hint for him to take there. and to takeshi seeing the hint, looking it straight in the eye and recognizing it for what it is and just. deciding it doesn't apply to him because it's all perfectly normal behavior to him. because it's the only kind of behavior that makes sense to him and feels right.

and so—to circle back to my first point—he can only express his devotion as naturally as breathing, so casually, almost like it's something inconsequential and not worth talking about despite how unmistakably it couldn't be further away from being the truth. it's the only way he could have always known how to express it, because, after all, who has ever taken time to ponder about the details and the hows of the way they breathe?

and i, for one, absolutely eat that shit up every time, thanks for coming to my ted talk <3

[blue-jos10]

i wonder how kevin's fitness-obsessed mind justifies his alcohol addiction

[merlins-strawberriesandroses]

TO be honest. I don’t understand what it means when people say Merlin was Arthur’s bane. Mayhaps I misunderstand but. Arthur was a bit of an assassination magnet (not to mention all those magical creatures and bandits... so many bandits), and Merlin actively prevented Arthur's death for years, which would have occured without him anway in the very first episode. I can see why one might argue that Merlin was just delaying the inevitable, or that he didn't succeed in keeping Arthur safe until Arthur could enact the golden age, but certainly I don’t see how he could have been Arthur’s bane.

Also, it’s implied in the last episode that the golden age does occur, but under Guinevere. Which makes sense as she knew Merlin was the sorcerer and that she was pleased about it (and I recall it was confirmed in interviews), so I also don’t follow the twin train of thought that Merlin was his own bane or even Camelot’s. Camelot was already bane-d(?) under Uther. But partly because of Merlin's steady friendship, Arthur matured into a king who was kinder than his father. He also actively sought magic's aid on multiple occasions, so he knew magic had potential for good (like healing his queen) without Merlin needing to tell him about his magic.

I don't think it's fair to say Camelot's laws on magic remaining relatively static was because no one close to Arthur came out as having magic. There was still much risk in that, and for Merlin a lot at stake, not just his life. A law change was still possible (and almost seemed to be set up that way) without Arthur needing someone he was personally close to having to do the work to humanize it for him (in the sense that the episodes with the druids, the druid boy with Elyan, and the dolma seemed like they were pointing to a law change because Arthur sees the diversity of magic and those who have it).

At worst Merlin’s efforts didn’t change the status quo, but we do have things indicating that they did. And Merlin was not single-mindedly serving Arthur at the expense of everyone else. He saved Camelot as a whole multiple times. He was also very willing to stick out his neck for many others even during the height of his anxiety and agitation in season 5. (Also only being slightly silly when I say this, but he was also THE wingman for Arthur when he was getting with Gwen, so in a way Merlin’s help led to their courting being a success and thus contributed to her being in a great position to change the laws. so personally I give points to Merlin for that). Most of the decisions centering Arthur's safety seemed to stem from the fear that Albion would crumble before it began if Arthur were to die, so he tried his best to prevent that from happening in any way he knew. (Like, when Arthur is dying, Merlin asks "So I failed?" regarding the whole golden age thing, which I think is telling that the prophesy and his role in it was still VERY much at the forefront of Merlin's mind).

And this is a digression but I know people think Merlin should have done more for Camelot, or for folks with magic (like, as a revolutionary or something akin), which I understand but no one reached out to network with him really? It'd require resources, people (always confused why there weren't a whole bunch more folks offering Merlin material/intellectual/emotional support if they thought he should be the one to bring about the golden age. all he was told was that the forseen way it actually happens succesfully is through Arthur), time (I doubt it’d have been much of a ‘quicker’ way necessarily), and incredible planning + foresight if it's meant to be something that works out effectively + long-term. Okay I think I've digressed enough now. This is a whole seperate thought that I don't think I'm gonna do any justice here lol, and I'm already rambling, so I'll stop now :,)

But anyway, in terms of being his own or Arthur’s bane, we know Arthur will return, and we don’t know how Merlin spent his years. His magic can play with time and maybe he learns how to control that, or he could have entered a stasis like in various legends, etc etc etc. And I mean it is tragic on many levels, and it’s sad we didn’t see Arthur’s arc completed, and that Merlin sacrificed so much for a goal that didn't get much acknowledgment by the show at the end, but still. I don’t think Merlin was Arthur’s bane, or Camelot’s, or his own.

[noonewouldlisten25]

I well and truely didn't expect anyone to pick up on my tags but here we are 😂💙

Lemme preface this with this started out as a crack theory with some circumstancial evidence that could point to SEVERAL other things. But I just happened to get attached to this idea over the last several months.

The TL;DR in my head; one parent was an Imp and the other was some sort of Hellborn Noble. (I couldn't tell you if this parent was a Goetia or someone in Lucifer's bloodline or what. Tbh, I haven't gotten that far in my details yet 😂) The product of a union that wasn't supposed to exist, Striker was cast out by both sides of his heritage and grew up alone and jaded as hell-with a special hate towards the Nobles that dictated his existance being something shameful.

As for my explanation for this? Here we go, lotta text under the cut! (Also, like 99% of this is heavy/reliant on the Harvest Moon Festival episode as opposed to today's ep, fair warning.)

------------

1) This whole idea started out with Striker telling Blitzo that they were "superior to most of their kind" ngl. Striker said that and my brain just kinda took off.

2) Vivzie confirming Striker is an Imp hybrid in a stream only added fuel to this fire.

3) Let's look at his and Stella's relationship-specifically in the Harvest Moon ep. One of the BIG things that plays into this idea is how Stella talks to him. Cause from the little bit we've seen of her by this point, she seems to see imps as much lower class, and doesn't really wanna associate with them.

But when she's on the phone with him...Yes, she's snappy and bitchy about the fact he failed to kill Stolas, but she's not talking to/about him like that. She's actually talking to and associating with him-even if it's an under the table assassin deal.

She wouldn't have even looked his direction if he was a normal Imp-but someone with half noble blood? Sure, probably an abomination in their world, but it's still enough for her to actually pay attention to him for a moment.

4) Also, when Striker finally breaks character towards the end of the Harvest Moon ep and talks to Blitzo, he seems to hold some...Distain for the nobles.

Take this with a grain of salt cause obviously we don't know HOW all the Imps in Hell feel about the nobles, but just going off I.M.P and the ones at the Harvest Festival they...Don't seem to mind them? But then you have this Imp who is kinda open to Blitzo about his distain for them in his word choice and how he talks about them.

It would make sense from someone who was part of a noble bloodline, and rejected because he was a halfblood.

So...This theory is honestly probably full of holes and based on small things, but I am super fucking attached to this idea, and it's honestly the hill I'm gonna die on for Striker's backstory until canon tells me otherwise. 😂

no but i'm SO curious what he meant by this. what did he lose? Striker backstory in the near future?? family, maybe??? this goes way beyond getting paid by Stella he has something so personal going on

[welcometogrouchland]

Hello, another doodle compilation post of everything I haven't posted since the period of May to now that I didn't hate but didn't like enough to post on its own + fanart i made of @catboymoments's fankids Azura and Hyacinth! I'm not normally a fankid person but these guys are a whole moment unto themselves I love them sm. ID in alt text bc it was getting lengthy! Let me know if there's any issues

[maka-moved]

some postal dude gender headcanons since someone was interested hehe (i'm mostly talking about p2 here, but these could apply to any of the dudes probably)

trans postal dude is really fascinating to me cause i think he'd be quite a different character from a lot of modern trans rep. like, dude is a (relatively) older guy from from rural arizona, who was likely raised in a fairly conservative and religious household, so i think it's safe to assume that he wouldn't have access to much of the resources or terminology that we have now. growing up, he might've known a little about queer people from word of mouth and the few magazine articles he could find on the topic, but for the most part it was a lot of figuring things out on his own.

his adolescent years were really messy and all over the place, he definitely did a lot of experimentation during that time. a lot of sneaking out of his parent's house after dark to hang out in the back alleys with the other weirdos like him. during this time he was still closeted and figuring things, i don't think he really started presenting and identifying as a guy until his mid 20s when he moved away from his parents, and even then he had to go stealth. though keep in mind that's he's a broke bastard living in the middle of nowhere, so he had to DIY a lot of shit.

surgery of any kind is not an option, so that meant he had to work with what little he had. fortunately for him, he's able to pass fairly well with a sports bra, some rolled up socks, and baggy clothes. it's why he almost never takes off that huge trench coat he's always wearing, aside from it just generally being a source of comfort and pride for him. he also started taking hormones when he moved away from his parents, which i like to think uncle dave helped him acquire (albeit through dubiously legal means).

so maybe dude wouldn't make for "good" trans rep, but he's alive and himself against all odds and that's what i love about this headcanon

for dude, transitioning has its ups and downs. on one hand it's incredibly liberating to dress and act and be the way you've always wanted to, but on the other hand it can be quite lonely and difficult too. dude already has to constantly keep his guard up, constantly be vigilant of the people around him and how he's being perceived, but being one of the few queer people in a small town compounds that even further. plus i imagine that he probably has a lot of complicated feelings about his gender and sexuality that he doesn't really know what to do with on account of being really repressed and all that.

[i-trash-about-things]

It's 2 am and I can't sleep with the thought of Hobie Brown leaving kiss marks all over his s/o face

Like- Imagine it. supermodel Hobie Brown, chilling on the dressing room with his partner, just chilling with each other. Then, he just gets up, reaches for a container of dark lipstick and just... Slowly, teasingly, sets it on his lips...

S/o immediately turns away, pretending like they weren't watching practically not blinking how their boyfriend applied the paint to his pretty lips.

He chuckles, steps closer and sits beside them. Without warning, he grabs their face and just plants a big fat kiss in their cheek. Then on their forehead. Other cheek. Lips. Jaw. It goes on and on, all the s/o can feel at this point is his warm lips, cold piercing and the sticky feeling of the lipstick coating their entire face.

When he steps back, Hobie just has this absolutely smug look on his face as he sees his finished work.

"looking good, luv."

[disposal-blueeee]

recent sketches

hhhello been inactive for a while so have some sketches i've done recently XP

changed the way i draw the little guy

a friend had this hc that during chapter 27 edgar wasn't really taking care of himself so his hair got longer . then zarla confirmed it

thing i banged in like 30 minutes instead of going to sleep . this is from @metamorphmigus and @cherry-207's au , btw

lolol that's literally all idk why i thought i had more things

[sanasanakun]

Jimithon Mouthwashing is such a good representation of untreated, enabled NPD like it makes me want to squeeze the life out of him. I'm endlessly fascinated when watching him interact with his crew, surroundings, and himself because he's so fucking lost in his own sauce. It's insane. If I'm being real, it makes him my favorite character in the game.

It's a little scary to say, but watching Jimmy is like seeing a mirrored version of myself two years ago before I truly committed to treatment for my NPD. He's like a shadow. The opening line "I hope this hurts," which I believe comes from Jimmy right before the crash, is such a poignant statement. It's a simple line, but I can tell you from experience that the desire to hurt others when in a narcissistic rage is overwhelming. It's such a good line to sum up Jimmy's character in that moment. Luckily, in the real world, I had my friends and family there to catch me when I hit my lowest, even though I'd hurt them so many times. Jimmy probably could've used friends to force him into therapy (cough cough Curly cough cough)

[bredforloyalty]

i'm not sure whether i should go back to this but mutuals, even just like, followers ((anyone i have even the slightest level of familiarity with)), your requests are respected for You i'll trigger tag anything. for Anonymous i will do nothing

[discjude]

Hi prequel community. If I said that I think the reason why there were only two prequels compared to the three that the other parts of the series got (3 TSY books and 3 TCY books) AND the reasons why Rhian's eye colour changes miraculously from Rise to Fall from green to blue (I think he's described as having green eyes in Rise? someone might have to correlate me on that) is because in Rise he's supposed to parallel TSY Sophie (green eyes, doubtfully good, multiple boyfriends) and then in Fall he's supposed to parallel Japeth (blue eyes, fratricidal, insane, gets cool one liners) how would you react to that

[a-s-levynn]

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