#also I'm not saying fuck everyone who agreed with the post on the surface you probably didn't know

[gremlingirlsmell]

hey just so y'all know, rhetoric like this:

is anti-transfeminist dogwhistling.

the "radfems" they're talking about are transfems trying to define and use language about our own opression like "transmisogyny" and who is targeted by it.

"gender essentialism" is used to mean different things. for one it's meant to denounce tme/tma language, saying that everyone is targeted by transmisogyny the same, and depraving us of standpoint epistemology. a second meaning i often see is: it's "gender essentialism" to say "we live in a patriarchy that benefits men over women"

this tactic is used mainly to paint transfeminists as dangerous and transmasc-hating, for applying intersectionality and materialism to feminist theory. it's to shun us by calling us terfs (a hate group primarily centered against transfems) which will immediately mark us as unsafe for other transfems and trans people in general. this is done instead of calling us baeddels, because calling us medieval slurs has fallen out of fashion and has become too obviously transmisogynistic

[huntedhauntedhunter]

I have TADC agere headcanons...if anyone cares (prolly not haha)

Posting on art blog because I post my agere art here sometimes, so why not headcanons and writings too?

Will be tagged properly so you can blacklist it if you want.

Age regressors: Gangle and Pomni (FT. YOU)

Caretakers: Jax (yes and I will explain more later), Ragatha, and Zooble

Grandparent who spoils the agere and helps the caretakers: Kinger

I don't have...a spot/hc for Caine yet...sorry...feel free to tell me what you think he'd be good as though, and why/how!

------

🎀Agere Gangle: Its kind of obvious and she's not oblivious to it or in denial. She loves agere and finds it comfty and safe. She loves to draw for hours and have playdates with Pomni (she actually convinces Pomni its ok and to do it.)

I HC her caretaker as Zooble, who can be romantic or platonic! I just think Zooble would be a good caretaker for her.

📐Caretaker Zooble: Zooble is...meh about it on the surface. They don't care and they don't think they need to be so public about it. But once in the headspace, they're kind of like...a cigerette mom? Where they're sarcastic about everything, and they question almost all of your choices with a specific type of judgementalness...but they really care and if anyone (Jax) fucks with their baby, it's gonna go down.

Having Gangle as their little really opens up a protective side they didn't know they had in them. Beating the shit outta Jax becomes a more common occurence.

🤹🏻‍♀️Agere Pomni: Pomni is def in denial, and it takes a LOT of convincing from Gangle (and gentle coaxing from Ragatha telling her it's ok) to really let themselves get into it. She is very shy and anxious about it. At first she was paranoid about others finding out (namely Jax), but one Jax finds out and she becomes accustomed to...him, she really gets into. I feel Ragatha would be the best caretaker, whether platonic or romantic (altho I personally lean towards romantic!)

🔪Caretaker Ragatha: (Knife emoji is for a few reasons haha) I've seen everyone under the sun HC Ragatha as a caretaker...and so they've pretty much already said everything and I agree! Gentle, loving, sweet, but also firm and no nonsense. Her and Jax get into a LOT of fights over the littles...like, a lot. It's like watching two parents at a sports event scuffle over whose kid is better.

♟Grandpa Kinger: I HC Kinger as a grandpa figure. He isn't really a caretaker, but he spoils the littles and plays along with everyone whether he actually knows whats going on or not. Def lets them hide in his pillow fortress, whether to play in, sleep in, or be naughty and hide from their caretakers in. Teaches them about insects...plays silly games with them...etc.

🐇Caretaker Jax: OK...this one is purely for me and I have a lot amusing scenarios with Jax in which I think he'd be a fun and unique type of caretaker...So hear me out...(Since I don't see him as a caretaker for anyone in the circus, section will be xreader, sorry! I made him a caretaker for me, but if anyone does read this and enjoys it...here you go.)

It'd start with him finding out about you being an agere. And in typical Jax fashion, he would mock, berate, and tease the hell out of you every single chance he got. He would def make you cry and be paranoid, because he would go through your room and nitpick anything and everything he found.

Slowly though, and I mean SO slowly you wouldn't even notice it was happening...he would insert himself as your caretaker. Like, I'm talking he would just find amusement in teasing you and playing the part, making you upset and then saying shit like "what, aren't I a good daddy?" when he "helps" you fix the problem he caused...or sushing you by sticking a paci in your mouth, or threatening to spank you if you annoy him just a tad.

He would eventually just. Go to the playdates and sit between Zooble and Ragatha and just...start pretending he's your parent. Behind your back. You wouldn't realize he's doing this or talking about you in this way for awhile. You'd only realize it one day, when you Pomni and Gangle are having a fun competition, and you hear Jax yell at the others about how "his kids the best and gonna win", or some sports dad shit.

You don't know how to confront him, TBH...I'll let you insert how you'd personally confront him.

He's super teasing, loves having excuses to "punish" you (usually puts you in a poorly made baby jail), and acts like a mix between a deadbeat dad who only intercepts when he feels like it, and a protective dad who feels like he has to fight everyone about you being better than all the other "brats".

(Sorry the Jax part is so long, I just have lots of feelings about it...and IK the fandom would see "caretaker Jax" and laugh at how absurd that is which is fair, it's meant to be absurd! That's part of the fun and why I enjoy the idea so much.)

Anyways...yeah...that's it...just need HCs for Caine and Bubble and I'll be set....Sorry for how long this is and if you for some reason decided to read it...wow.

[thefool0nthehill]

Hi there I'm in a weird , random, and pointless headcanon mood so here's some miscellaneous Kefka headcanons I have. Tell me which ones u agree with and which ones are dead wrong , for science reasons

•Autistic. I don't think I really need to explain myself because I think you all already know it but I'd gladly do so if i needed to.

•VERY picky eater. To me he'd be one of those people you just never see eating anything and on the rare occasion they do, it's either candy or something fucked up like a ketchup and potato chip sandwich....

•on the subject of food for some reason I feel like he'd have a crazy sweet tooth, and eat a lot of sweets and candy all the time. (Clearly if there's one thing I don't believe this man can do its eat reasonably) I can't remember if this is even MY headcanon or if I got it from someone else's posts/fanfiction and it stuck in my brain's personal made up lore collection, so if ur reading this and I just stole your headcanon sorryyyyz💔

•No attention span. That's all.

•Not everyone will vibe with this one because I know historically in fandom we like to keep our mentally ill characters desirable and lightheartedly quirky but.. hoarder. Maybe a bit more random junk than trash but I've always had a feeling that wherever this dude lives, good luck finding %89 of the floor.

•If that last one doesn't make sense, I'll elaborate on how I see his mental state and motivations personally and maybe it will help. For me Kefka's obsession with destruction and the absurd concept of ending EXISTENCE as a whole is indicative of an obsessive grasping for control.

Maybe the surface level of his character doesn't indicate a desire for control, but I think stealing more and more power until he's drained and obliterated an entire civilization, then stealing it from literal gods regardless of the cost, and then sitting shut up in a tower nuking anyone who dares to maybe have hope or speak out against him absolutely does. So does the whole megalomania theme in and of itself.

And y'know, the whole mind controlling Terra thing does too, since if control wasn't a motivator for him, only destruction for the sake of it, he'd let Terra run amok I think.

The poisoning at Doma kinda reeks of it for me too, it shows not only his lack of impulse control and lack of value for human life but also a secret third thing no one talks about which is how everything has to happen when he wants, in the way he wants it to. Even if he has to sneak behind other's backs and get himself in trouble to achieve that.

So to me, I think that among other motivations, he knows the only way he can control everything is to destroy it. He's pissed when he gives his little monologue and the main party disagrees, he can't convince them away from their reasons that life is worth living to them. So he'll destroy them all, so that no one will be left to resist him or call him down.

Aaaand drawing that all back in , you see a lot of people with hoarding disorders who have struggled a lot in a hectic, unpleasant life and a subconscious need for something you can control and take comfort in is filled by stuff. (Gee , ask me how -I- know)

•This could be %100 canon, could be mistranslated or %100 made up, so there's really no telling if this is a headcanon or not. But anyone seen that translated Ultimania profile from a gameFAQ post like 15 years ago? I've been taking every word of it as canon because it's just so on point with details that make sense and make him more fleshed out and interesting. Here are some favorites

•In his little bio thing with his age, height,(5'5 which is canon to me for ever and ever) etc , for likes it just says

"Likes: Mirror "

same. Me. King shit. truest and most relatable thing ever.

•"- After spiraling into insanity, Kefka starts to wear makeup and garish clothing, acting like a complete buffoon. His behavior changes and his patterns of speech deteriorate."

this is just what happened to me when I turned 20. give the man a break . hes just a girl in the world

•Theres a lot in there about him collecting dolls, playing with them, and dressing them/doing their makeup like he does his own. And just a lot in general about his more feminine interests and tastes (because it's the 90s/2000s and unfortunately we have to show the bad crazy guy is bad and crazy by making him gnc methinks)

I love this aspect of Kefka's character very very dearly. That is all.

And there's many more details there I appreciate but just don't feel like writing down but I could in a part two if anyone enjoyed reading this. Lmk what u think and if I cooked or didn't cook because I love talking to ppl about the funny man...

[utilitycaster]

It's not like most fans don't care enough about the reasons why FCG would do that to put any thought about it, no no no, this is clearly Sam FCG being so so selfish and inconsiderate to the rest of the characters (sarcasm)

I think a bunch of the criticism is valid, but some critters just grabbed what Taliesin said in 4SD and ran with it without analysing more than surface level. Like, don't get me wrong, Tal is very much correct, and Imogen is more than in her right to be mad at FCG, but it's almost like those fans are dead set on the idea that Imogen is the protagonist (something Laura seems to be very hurt by the idea) and god forbid the comedic relief character does something to ruin her story

Hi anon,

I'm going to save my longer discussion for a separate ask or a post, and I agree with most of this, but I do want to clarify or push back on a few things. It's a relatively small if particularly loud and dumb group, honestly, all things considered, who are saying this. For what it's worth, I do not actually think it's terribly valid for Imogen to be as harsh with FCG as she is - again, she didn't have to follow them in the first place and she had a chance to leave. She reminds me of a guy in one of my grad school practicums (practica?) who, whenever something went wrong, would say "I said this wouldn't work" (he hadn't) until one late night I lost my shit at him, which, not proud about, but he did shut the fuck up. Anyway, this is what I plan to write some more about elsewhere, but Imogen is deeply judgmental and impatient and dismissive of most people, even her allies.

I also want to clarify on the comic relief designation because I think you're saying that from the perspective of the "um, actually, Imogen is a perfect sweet baby victim who never did anything wrong and everyone is so mean to me - I mean her" crowd but like...Liam said it best in the TLOVM watch parties. The thing about "comic relief" characters is that in the set up of them as kind of ridiculous, you provide a huge potential for a drop into tragedy; when Grog or Scanlan are upset it's particularly moving because they're usually being silly. Like, I've been critical myself of some of the credit Sam has gotten in the past for fairly basic D&D choices (although while Sam gets that credit you are correct that the fandom rarely considers him a favorite), but the reason even those simpler moments hit so hard is because you don't expect them from a character you've mentally shoved into the "comic relief" slot.

I've found FCG's exploration of religion - which is realistically clumsy and misguided and at times silly, but also incredibly earnest and true - to be an unexpected highlight, and like, it's fine if people don't like it, but like, go to therapy for your religious trauma; FCG is extremely not the cause, and in the end both FCG and FRIDA believe it is good to be there behind the gate to help people! Look, I would vastly prefer altruism that comes from a genuine empathy for other people and desire to provide from their needs rather than it coming from a desire to collect Heaven Reward Points (not that I think that's what FCG is doing, nor the motivation for all religiously-originated altruism, but I suspect that's how some people are reading it), but like, the homeless shelter open to people of all backgrounds and genders isn't interrogating the reasons why various people donate. A good deed is a good deed and FCG is doing this to help the trapped people and, later, Umudara.

Finally, what's interesting to me about that line from Taliesin is that I agree with Ashton that FCG's self-sacrifice is a liability...but look at Ashton! Look at Ashton, who will without thinking accept indebtedness to Jiana Hexum because it's what they think they deserve! Pot, meet kettle! I think Ashton is far too cynical for martyrdom, and does have a self-preservation instinct, but good lord does he hate himself sometimes to the point of punishment, and that's really not much different and nearly as much of a liability.

[sidekick-hero]

Last line/sentence tag game

I was writing all day on my big bang with my dearest @legitcookie and I was tagged by so many of my wonderful mutuals and friends in this game (several times, oopps), so I'm doing the thing where I post one sentence per person who tagged me 💜🫡

RULES: post the last sentence you wrote (fanfic / original / anything) and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence

Sorry for the delay and thank you so much for the tags and patience my dears: @steddieasitgoes, @eriquin, @scarcrossdlvrs, @starryeyedjanai, @steves-strapcollection, @steddieas-shegoes, @willowworkswithwords, @withacapitalp, @spooky-stevie, @riality-check, @yournowheregirl, @thefreakandthehair, @wynnyfryd, @vecnuthy🥰

14 people, 14 sentences - of we fuck, as my best friend always says

They agreed to meet the next Saturday when Steve had the day off. Which, in retrospect, is a bad idea, because it means he has the whole day to ruminate. So he does what he always does when he's stressed or worried out of his mind: he deep cleans his apartment to keep his thoughts at bay.

Instead of replaying conversations in his head, he'd scrub his shower to the last inch of its life. Instead of imagining worst-case scenarios, he would dust every surface as if it were being inspected and go through every cupboard to reorganize and purge. It feels somewhat symbolic; he can't control what happens in his life, but he can Lysol every speck of dirt out of his apartment.

It doesn't cure everything, but it keeps him sane until it's time to shower and get dressed. He focuses on scrubbing, priming, and making himself as presentable as possible, because Steve may get dumped today, but at least he will look as good as he can while it happens. It's a point of pride for him.

He might fall apart later, but no one will be around to see it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steve is early. He didn't want to be. He didn't want to pace up and down in front of the restaurant with his nerves for everyone to see, but he also couldn't stay in the oppressive silence of his apartment one second longer. So here he is, pacing in front of The Resevoir, a place he's never been to before because Eddie suggested they try something new.

Tags under the cut

The last sentence here has 24 words, so 24 people it is (Sandy you need to start writing shorter sentences!):

No pressure tags; @steddieasitgoes, @eriquin, @scarcrossdlvrs, @starryeyedjanai, @steves-strapcollection, @steddieas-shegoes, @willowworkswithwords, @withacapitalp, @spooky-stevie, @riality-check, @yournowheregirl, @thefreakandthehair, @wynnyfryd, @vecnuthy, @ghostevie, @stobinesque, @patchworkgargoyle, @inairbinad, @judasofsuburbia, @wormdebut, @corrodedbisexual, @stevethehairington, @hammity-hammer, @oliver-sykes

[disfrutalakia]

- Sloth: Was originally going to have Jaiden in this role until Mr President pulled out the happy pills and like, the song fits just a liiitle bit too well with that arc. Still kinda wish Jaiden could've fit but we deal we deal. i'd still like to make her a major influence on this arc somehow. - Envy: I originally was dead set on Bad being in this role but halfway through writing this ask i started to doubt it. My original thought process was something along the lines of how the original story was kinda a switch-up on expectations. where on the surface the sinner appears to be envious of a man she perceives as her s/o but in reality she's faking it and is instead envious of him still having a family and getting vengeance for being the reason she doesn't have one. I came up with it during the vacation arc he had where he was really sad about not having skeppy on the island and kinda blaming forever. not sure if it fits as well now though. oopsie guess i have to really rethink this one - Greed: Foolish! I thought with him being so eager to arrest people for his own amusement and gain he'd probably be the character best suited for this role. I don't really have too much to say about him other than that. he's the type of character to contract just so he could have some fun. - Wrath: Mike. At the time i came up with this I thought it would go really well with Foolish being greed. I envisioned this could've been Mike getting revenge on the person responsible for sending him and Pac to jail and for au purposes Pac probably would've died in this reincarnation cycle. (i know in evillous canon greed was the father of wrath but i am not doing that here becuase it doesn't fit their characters.)

Soooo that's most of my Evillous Au! a little bit nervous to share this as i'm not sure people would agree with the roles i put everyone in but if anyone has any other thoughts i'd love to hear them!! As the QSMP story develops i'll probably be changing things around anyways and by god im hoping more women on the server commit wrongs so i can incorporate them more into this universe of people committing atrocities. they deserve it.

You are spot on with the greed and wrath ones, fits their characters so well. Specially Mike who we've seen that can be someone who can blew up very quickly if someone push the right (or wrong) buttons

And no yeah, Forever is just fucking sloth, he is literally the song. I think I even posted about it the other day while going through my monthly urge of listening to EU lmao

But I love you au so much, real dedication right there cause evillinous is such a convulated story and with the qsmp always changing it can get overwhelming pretty quickly

(also just a suggestion, in the previous ask you weren't sure about who to put down for pride and might I suggest Tubbo? Like he fits well somehow? at least for me)

[valla-chan]

copying this from my own tags cause actually i want to talk about this on the post after all.

Warning: Long text! feel free to skip!

I feel like having one parent of one kind and one of the other made me this fucking mess that i am now, in a way. It was never explicit or outright but it Never Needed To Be.

I would get harassed for my nails and hair and mannerisms and be made the butt of jokes that i didnt understand by one parent, and then the other would tell me im great the way i am. i guess also there was some kind of ongoing speculation between them as to what my sexuality was?? i do remember that.

It really created this strong, unrelenting feeling that i have a very narrow path to tread before people begin speculating on the different ways that i'm actually somehow fucked up or weird in an unlovable way, but as long as i tread lightly then i can toe the line.

of course, my life has improved since then because they split when i was a preteen (#aayyyy) but it did last long enough to do damage...

(otherwise how else do you explain trying to always "lose people's trail on you", when you feel like theyre onto stuff going on in your head? Trying to maintain the image people have of you, so they dont fall apart at how disgusting you actually are, or instead start drawing uncomfortable connections that will lead to them to that realization anyway? “Finding out”? Finding out what? Who the fuck knows by now! but theyre gonna find me out! and then theyre gonna hate me!)

Results?

For at least a decade and a half everyone has been “Going to Find It Out” about me and i have no fucking clue what that means anymore. because ive already come out and transitioned n shit, and ive been fine for it. that was like my biggest secret for a while. But that feeling of people i care about "finding out" is real enough to keep me from doing anything! (other than hrt cause i woulda literally have offed myself if i had to live even 5 more years as a guy... so thank fuck for the support yknow lol cause otherwise i would have figured out some DIY shit under the table by then. but other, more surface level pursuits still feel off the table, because they are not motivated by literal death if i dont do them in time.)

But its like... the damage is already done.

ive got a supportive family. even the worst of most of them have come around.

But those mental patterns are Mine now. Those thoughts are not theirs to take back anymore.

I have internalized those years of uncomfortable treatment into my own mind and how i work. thats on me now, and im trying to explore and help myself now and its hard.

So make sure to constantly tell your kids that you would love them even if they turned into a fuckin slug. And more importantly, that you accept them and promote them for everything they want to stand for even if you dont agree. Cause MAN, even for maybe not intending to do anything wrong、that shit influenced and ruined every interaction and decision in my life since! Theres no taking that back, even if done on accident through just being a goober parent influenced by current social norms! So imagine doing that level of harm on purpose!

You will create a kid that doesnt have to wonder on the extent of the bounds of how much they will be loved, they will KNOW those bounds. They will feel those bounds in every decision they make and every choice they consider. They will know FOR SURE that they will not be loved for themselves、and that will be on YOU.

and a word of advice, love their potential too... love their choices and their visions and the people they look up to. Cause people change. They are designed to.

you cant just love someone for who they are now and not those other things、or they will be stuck in trying to be that person for life.

And to anyone who reads this who knows me, hi! If this says anything about me as a person, then good! It should!

I think that my mid 20s are going to be some of the most intense self reflection ive had yet, and hopefully that actually goes somewhere unlike how it never does. so forgive, me voices and memories, for becoming someone who i like and who the people i hate don't.

[rainbow-nerdss]

Vaguely inspired by the first half of this post

We have absolutely nothing in common," they said. 

"He's a metalhead!"

"He's a preppy rich kid!" 

"He plays d&d"

"He plays sports" 

"He's a total nerd"

"He wears polos, for fuck sake" 

Dustin listened to them and rolled his eyes. Ever since he'd learned the real reason Steve and robin didn't date, since Steve had come out as bi and since everyone else finally figured out Eddie was gay, Dustin had been matchmaking again. He'd expected it to be easier, honestly. They were perfect for each other, if they'd only open their eyes and look beneath the surface. 

He watched them deny they had anything in common in one breath, then turn around and be the exact same brand of grumpy in the morning, refuse to eat toast unless there's a pool of butter in the middle of the slice, moan about him and the other kids for the same reasons while routinely putting them first, laugh at the same jokes, eat the same junk food, drive with the same road rage and care the same way. 

They were meant to be together, and Dustin just needed them to see it.

He whined about it to Robin, who agreed but reminded him of another thing they have in common.

"You know, the harder you try to push them together, the more they're going to deny it." 

She was right, of course. Dustin realised now that even if she hadn't been gay, her and Steve would never have worked. Though they looked like they'd be perfect on the surface, she was far too sensible for Steve. 

Steve needed to be with someone as dumb as he was, as ignorant to their own feelings. 

Steve needed to be with Eddie. 

"You ever heard of something called reverse psychology?" He asked Robin. 

"I'm not a part of this," she insisted, but Dustin could tell by her smirk that she was on the same page. 

Or at least that's what he chose to believe. 

"You're right, Steve," Dustin said while Steve was driving him to hellfire. "You and Eddie really don't have anything in common. He never lets me mess with the volume control in his van."

He reached out and turned the radio up, then smiled to himself as Steve struggled between letting Dustin mess with his stereo, or admitting he had something in common with Eddie. 

"Steve is definitely your polar opposite, Eddie," Dustin whispered just before the Hellfire session kicked off." He keeps candy in his glove box because he likes to snack on the go. Weirdo." 

Eddie subtly moved the box of Milk Duds which were behind his DM screen into his bag on the floor. 

"Right, this is what I've been saying! Guy's a weirdo," Eddie bluffed. 

Dustin rolled his eyes. Idiots, the pair of them.

He dropped more hints. Steve’s favourite soda, which happened to also be Eddie's. The weird way Eddie eats lasagna (layer by layer, exactly the way Steve's mom used to yell at him for doing when he was little). He even bought them coffee once, handing them each a cup and letting them take a sip before "realising" he'd handed them the "wrong cup". The cups were identical, of course, because they both took their coffees with the same obscene amount of sugar.

That time, Dustin noticed a look pass between them. Progress, at last.

Then he idly mentioned eating pizza for dinner, knowing that it would make them both crave pizza, both go to order from that place on the corner of main street and collect it in person because they both hated the way the delivery that worked on Thursdays sometimes carried the box at a weird angle so the cheese started to slide off. 

They'd both order a large pepperoni with extra cheese, and Dustin was sure it would work this time.

Dustin knew it was probably creepy, but he watched from across the street. 

Steve got there first. He parked his car, then hopped out onto the street. He locked the door, twirled the keys around his fingers, and put them in his pocket. He whistled a familiar song to himself as he walked to the door of the pizza joint — Belinda Carlisle.

Eddie pulled up two minutes later, like clockwork. He parked his van right next to Steve's. Hopped out, locked up, twirled the keys, whistled — Dio this time, not Belinda Carlisle. 

Dustin watched. Surely they'd interact. Surely they'd acknowledge the coincidence, recognise they had this in common, realise Dustin had been right all along.

Steve left the restaurant with the pizza box balanced against his left hip. He took his keys out of his pocket, put the pizza in the passenger seat and walked around to the driver's side. He leaned over, opened the box, and inhaled.

Eddie walked out, carrying his own pizza exactly the same way.

Steve took out a slice and started to eat it, while Eddie put his pizza in the passenger seat.

Steve finished the slice as Eddie got in the driver's side and smelled his pizza.

Steve drove away as Eddie took out a slice of the pizza and started eating it.

Neither of them acknowledged the other. It was like it was choreographed, but they didn't acknowledge each other's presence at all.

Dustin should have known subtlety wouldn't work on them. He was going to have to rethink his strategy again.

[transmutationisms]

THOUGHTS ON KENDALL SLEEPING WITH HIS NANNY OH MY GOD

alright.... to be completely honest. i have been rotating this line all day, and i just cannot read it as kendall trying to sleep with his own nanny as a child. i really think that roman is accusing him of hitting on his kids' nanny, and that this happened within the past few days, in tuscany, as part of kendall's recent and dramatic deterioration.

okay this got long so i readmore'd it but tl;dr: i see Evidence that there was a deleted sub-plot involving kendall's kids' nanny in 3x08, and the "tried to fuck your nanny line" in 3x09 is the remnant of that. and i also think that what we would have learned about kendall from that sub-plot is important, but can be gathered obliquely from the material that remains.

the (deleted) preceding lines here are: shiv brings up kendall's threat to post legal papers on ig and says he's offering "another fucking tell-all interview [the press] don't even want," and kendall says he has to post the papers "in order to complete [his] exit strategy." THEN roman responds with, "you tried to fuck your nanny, what part of your mba is that?"

i read this as roman saying, "your business-speak is ridiculous, and it's especially ridiculous because your recent behaviour is clearly that of a person having a spiralling breakdown, not that of a serious businessman." on that reading, it makes perfect sense to talk about kendall recently seeking out an inappropriate sexual relationship with an employee. it makes almost no sense to bring up a childhood incident as evidence that kendall's current mindset warrants an intervention.

i'll grant that roman's lines often have a certain kind of non-sequitur approach on the surface, but if you stop and dig into them you can pretty much always follow his internal logic and see how he jumped from point a to point b. i'm really having trouble making sense of his line if it's not a response to kendall's current/recent behaviour.

(also, i do notice the phrasing "your nanny" and not "our nanny," though i realise it's not impossible that they could have had two different nannies as kids)

if it's kendall's current employee, that also speaks to the accusation shiv made earlier in the season in her open letter: "history of his own problematic relations with women," which his brothers both agreed was true. also.... naomi doesn't come to italy, so if kendall's freaking out, he can't seek her out for comfort or sex (two things that often overlap in his head).

furthermore. at the end of chiantishire, the pool scene, kendall seems to be solely in charge of the kids despite clearly not being capable at the moment. like... maybe the nanny isn't around for a reason. and comfrey's the one who finds kendall in the pool, and the nanny doesn't make an appearance in the finale—she's not even in the credits for 3x09, unlike 3x08. plus, kendall has that line in 3x09 "i'm not leaving [my kids] with [dad]" after shiv says they can stay at logan's villa that night. which also suggests the nanny is Not There, not just offscreen

like, in my head. it reads to me like kendall was freaking out at some point during 'chiantishire.' probably right after the dinner with logan (but possibly before that, because we don't see the nanny after she arrives in tuscany with kendall and the kids). so he's alone, and he comes to her seeking [sex/validation/escapism/etc]. and she turns him away, and leaves, and everyone probably knows and that's partly why they're all sort of babysitting the kids.

so in terms of what this says about kendall. even if i'm right and it was his kids' nanny, it's still meaningful that there's a conflation in his head between 'person who cleans up after me/cares for people' and 'potential sexual partner.' also, it would mean he seeks out this inappropriate sexual relationship in the same episode as caroline pulling that shit where she semi-exiles him from her wedding so peter can schmooze with logan. so basically, kendall gets a rejection from his mother, followed by trying to fuck his kids' nanny.

and if i'm double right and this happened directly after the logan dinner conversation, it's an extra kind of fucked that logan uses iverson as a poison-tester, followed by kendall hitting on the only person who's really caring for the kids at this point. obviously very different motives for those actions, but drives home the ways that kendall's own issues get externalised onto his kids and fuck them up, too.

i also think, on this explanation, it makes sense that this line got deleted. we can gather most of this emotional information from reading between the lines of shiv's open letter, and from kendall crying in the dirt saying that he's not feeling connected to his kids and "can't get one thing right with another." and also from his obvious hurt reaction to the caroline rejection at the beginning of 'chiantishire'. the specific detail about trying to fuck his kids' nanny wouldn't, on this reading, reveal anything radically new. so it got cut, maybe for length and maybe just because it seemed too obvious.

this is all just my read, though. i could be way off-base. i would be extremely interested to read the 'chiantishire' script, lmao

[piqued-curiosity]

I also agree bisexuals need to do better, so let's start with that.

"I can be completely honest and admit that I’ve let it slide because my energy has been used up fighting homophobia from people who are actively hurting homosexuals on a large scale, as well as the misogyny from men that hurts women on a large scale"

Well, despite the many claims to the contrary, bi women also experience misogyny and homophobia. It may be different than what lesbians experience, and I know you experience aspects of homophobia we do not, but that does not mean it's easy for bi women or that bisexuals don't have our own trauma hounding us. And be honest, do you care about any of that if a bi woman is being homophobic? No, and you shouldn't.

And again, looping it back to this whole broader conversation... the premise is that bisexual women should be proactive in hunting down homophobia within their own community, and it's homophobic of them to passively ignore homophobes within their community. And yeah I do agree with that. But you're then going to say that, and then say you don't have it in you to call out misogyny that's given in response to you personally (something that takes much less effort to root out than what's happening between other people)??

I’ve only really seen heavily misogynistic lesbians in small online chunks of lesbians.

Of course it's most obvious and vitriolic online. But, very sorry, but why would you see it elsewhere? Men always claim they don't "see" misogyny, and bi women claim they don't "see" lesbophobia. Those things are still there just under the surface. If you don't see biphobia it's because it's not being directed at you. I have so many stories of statements and actions precisely like what I'm describing here online happening IRL too, it's just that IRL there's no record and most people don't care. This is a whole different conversation on how IRL things like this get buried for the same reasons as you're describing here.

“how dare you say this about bi women when you’re doing this? You’re worse!”.

Not my intent, but take it however you like. I'm not claiming bi people are better, I definitely think we need to work on rooting out homophobia. I already said I have no interest in building community with homophobes; that implies the existence of enough homophobes within our community that it's a consideration. Sorry if that implication was not fully laid out, but there it is then.

All of the behaviour you described is disgusting.

Okay, so you think it's disgusting, and you disagree with it. I do believe you and I wouldn't have sent you any of these asks to begin with if I didn't think you would at least agree with this much.

But you also agree that you'll most likely never call it out or take actions against it, you don't see it as being that impactful or damaging, that it's not worth your energy, and that most lesbians will also let it slide. What's more, you don't think this behavior is SO disgusting that it makes you think ill of these people. Rather than shock, anger, or even disgust, your route is to feel compassion and solidarity with them, and to find out why they are like that without challenging them. Am I misreading you on anything there?

So, where does that leave us? Bisexuals need to weed out homophobic bisexuals (agree) - but the people doing these "disgusting" behaviors don't need to be weeded out? they need to be coddled, understood, and everyone needs to look for their excuses? What does it say to the bisexuals being addressed like that? They just need to accept that some lesbians think it's funny and hilarious to mock their SA, and others just cannot be arsed to give a fuck?

I feel like you're much angrier and distrustful at me for pointing out this issue than you are at the multiple people involved in this saying those various "digusting" things just today in response to your posts!

I'm not blaming you for their words, and again, I'm not trying to say you or lesbians in general are "worse", but there is this pattern of that behavior ALWAYS getting completely ignored and there's always some high-minded reason why the bisexuals are never worth any effort and they just need to take it, with the double scoop that you make fun of our abuse and sexual assault but at the same say that if we stand up against misogyny from lesbians then CLEARLY we're not really oppressed or whatever.

But I can’t help but feel that this ask in particular is less “hey, let’s talk about this” and more “how dare you say this about bi women when you’re doing this? You’re worse!”.

To touch on this - again, not my intention. But you know what though, I fully encourage you to ignore this ask, go ahead and delete it. Expend your energy instead on challenging those people and framing this conversation however you see fit, since you agree this behavior is disgusting. But of course the people that admit they think this "disgusting" behavior is "based" (her word) are already kissing your ass, so we'll see.

I don’t understand how you got the idea that I think bi women don’t experience homophobia and misogyny from what I said.

What you’re missing is the effect of both problems. Lesbians being mean and misogynistic to bi women isn’t really causing anything more than (rightfully) hurt feelings. The homophobia from bi women that we’re talking about is straight up conversion therapy rhetoric that leads to gay people trying to do DIY conversion therapy, and experiencing corrective rape or rape by deception. So yes, I’m going to be more focused on things that have those large scale effect rather than a few mean lesbians. We are talking about different issues that lead to different things, so you can’t really make the comparison.

But you do make a good point about me not seeing biphobia because I’m not bi. So I’m sorry if I sounded ignorant with saying I’ve only seen it online.

And yes, I am saying that I will meet this behaviour with compassion because I understand that, at least with the lesbians I interact with here, it is coming from anger and hurt. I have stated that I don’t agree with the way they are channeling that anger and hurt, and I believe they are aware of that, but as a lesbian I will always be able to empathise with the pain of other lesbians no matter how it’s expressed. They’re “kissing my ass” because they also emphasise with other lesbians. (If you’re going to make the comparison with bi homophobia again, please first consider that there is no anger at biphobia being expressed with the homophobia coming from the bi community. There is no hurt or pain to emphasise with, it is fully coming from the belief that gay people need to be sexually fluid and “open minded” to being with the opposite sex)

I’m probably not answering this fully or properly because I’m not spending much energy on it. I’m not quite sure what you’re expecting from me… you keep comparing this to what lesbians want of bi women regarding bi homophobia, but I’ve never actually seen a lesbian blow up an individual bi woman’s inbox like this. It’s typically addressing the community as a whole. Why don’t you make your own post addressing the entire lesbian community instead of sending it all to me?

[imminentinertia]

I'm revisiting this as @the-conversation-pod brought up some interesting points here (thank you - I'm not a podcast listener but the transcript is great for people like me, and I enjoyed the episode so much). Also I can't seem to let The Eighth Sense go.

The above post was written well before the show ended, and neither of the two Hedwig themes was directly revisited, nor did the Hedwig guy show up again, but I'd say that Ji Hyun - who underwent some character changes after his accident - went hard on "deny me and be doomed". He doesn't deny himself, and nor did he ever, really, and he doesn't let Jae Won deny him either.

Ji Hyun has upped his levels of sass, and the Hedwig guy gets the first taste of it, and when The Conversation suggests it's "this show taking shots at performative queerness happening with BL in particular" that makes so much sense. It's a lot more subtle than the hamfisted attempt made in Step by Step (and retracted by editing the episode post-airing, good lord my friends, own your criticism ffs), but it can definitely be read into Ji Hyun and Ae Ri making fun of and dismissing the Hedwig person - who then stomps off fully dressed in his costume, in a foil of Hedwig's own exit stage stripped of their everyday clothes and wig.

Hedwig person's other half is firmly lodged outside him, still.

I agree with The Conversation on this being a clunky part of the show, and I think it's the only actual misstep. It looks to me like Werner du Plessis and Inu Baek made the extremely rare mistake of overestimating their audience, and that they themselves couldn't have predicted the general take of "wtf is up with the casual transphobia" - which I, who know HatAI well and love it dearly, didn't see coming at all and was very surprised by.

Would anyone get the lesson of learning your cultural history as a queer? Hopefully some did, hopefully some looked HatAI up and watched it, and hopefully those who did refrained from dismissing it as ancient and problematique ten minutes in.

But I doubt it, to be honest, I think the casual viewer either moved blithely on or got mad at T8S.

So when The Conversation goes "[Ji Hyun and Ae Ri] engaged with the source material, they understood it, and they moved on, whereas he's cosplaying as Hedwig, a gay character. Does he appreciate the life of this gay character?" I'm all YES THAT'S IT. He IS fucking cosplaying. He picked up on the drag, and the two main themes are there to find for anyone with access to a search engine, but he missed a hell of a lot going on in the film.

I do wonder why Hedwig person latched on to Hedwig and not something neater or sexier or prettier - HiaTI is gritty and grim while also sparkly and bright. He may be on his way to finding his other half within himself, eventually, but he seems to have missed a few steps on his way and that's how he ends up with his surface analysis in costume while the actual gay guy does a good job of his analysis assignment.

I also wonder why Werner du Plessis and Inu Baek didn't use a more accessible film for this, fave or not (I'm sure they have fave films that would have worked more to the purpose), but everyone's allowed a misstep. Or maybe they got exactly the reaction they wanted. The show is for the young people, not I-had-to-walk-50-kilometres-in-a-snowstorm-to-get-my-queer-film-fix people like me, so personally I would have recommended a classic that the younger crowd might be more familiar with.

I may have some feelings and possibly some actual thoughts about Hedwig and the Angry Inch's appearance in The Eighth Sense. Under a readmore because of spoilers - for both.

So I'm old enough to have seen HatAI in a cinema in 2002, and it's a very important film to me. It's an iconic queer film classic by now (and an iconic queer musical classic), but it's also a cult film and certainly not something I expect everyone to know about.

My first reaction to the Hedwig person scenes in T8S was something like "oh my fucking GOD they're doing HEDWIG I love Inu and Werner so fucking much, but oh, that's an odd thing to do, making Ji Hyun and Ae Ri be that dismissive to Hedwig person?".

Nothing in a show is accidental or random, certainly not full scenes such as these, and I think there are a couple of ways referring to HatAI in T8S* could go.

Keep in mind that I have no idea if it can be expected that a Korean audience knows HatAI, but then again, it's obvious that Inu Baek and Werner du Plessis intended T8S for an international audience as well as a domestic one. HatAI is still not a reference I'd expect the international target audience of a Korean romance between two students to get.

Your other half is within yourself

The central theme in HatAI is Hedwig's search for their** other half. That is all ye olde Plato's soulmate theory about Zeus splitting each human into two. However, Hedwig's conclusion is that your other half is within yourself (on a number of levels, and sometimes, as with Hedwig's fluctuating gender expression, it's a bit on the nose. It's still a wonderful film). The film ends with Hedwig/Hansel walking away, alone, naked, after a scene that is both unsettling and forgiving.

The Hedwig person in T8S gets a walking away alone scene too, although fully dressed, after an also rather unsettling but not forgiving scene where Ji Hyun and Ae Ri are dismissive and a bit rude - perhaps partly because since almost dying, Ji Hyun has run out of fucks to give about anything much, perhaps partly because the odd almost-pass the Hedwig person makes at Ji Hyun needs to be turned down for Hedwig to fit their own story.

And possibly Ji Hyun and Ae Ri, for a narrative point to be made later, must be condescending in these scenes, making fun of the Hedwig person's admittedly over the top presentation.

Either way, going down the "your other half is within yourself" path would show some finding strength in oneself (as Ji Hyun does all along, and perhaps Jae Won needs to learn?) may not hand over a happy ending in the sense that Ji Hyun and Jae Won live happily ever after.

Deny me and be doomed

This quote is often interpreted to mean that Hedwig/Hansel can't deny themselves - the person they were meant to be, up until their life really went off course. It can also be interpreted as Hedwig's right to be seen, to be acknowledged by their surroundings, to not be ignored.

So who must not be denied in T8S? Possibly Ji Hyun, who will have Jae Won and who's come out to his friends and who will not let anything get in his way anymore. Possibly the Hedwig person will resurface to teach them a lesson about this or pay Ji Hyun and Ae Ri back, like Eskild schools Isak about his homophobia in SKAM.

Possibly it's a lesson Ji Hyun is supposed to bring to Jae Won, for him to stop denying himself and tear himself loose from the trappings of the chaebol, the rigid hierarchy and the conservatism.

Going after the being seen point in HatAI might make for a bigger chance of a happy ending/Ji Hyun and Jae Won living happily ever after, as they could see each other - without being Plato's two halves of a whole.

I don't have any answers and I'm always reluctant to analyse too much until the very end, but I needed to get some thoughts about Hedwig and The Eighth Sense off my chest. Also I'm absolutely certain I've forgotten lots of points from earlier episodes that need to be tied in with this.

(On another T8S topic, the overly bright cinematography and disjointed narrative in episode 6 made sense to me after watching episode 7 - I believe Jae Won was the narrator, he definitely wasn't in the best of shapes, and he twisted and glossed over events and shoved the aftermath of the accident away, as it was represented only by him sitting alone on the beach. Also the music-less intro to episode 7 was so claustrophobic I nearly screamed.

Also do we really need to do coming out to your mate scenes that explicitly accepting. I found that a little jarring, I'd expect Joon Pyo to jump rather more around in the salad.

Also also that was an incredibly satisfying punch, Jae Won.)

*Sorry if the acronyms are annoying, but there are only so many times a person can stand to write or read Hedwig and the Angry Inch and The Eighth Sense.

**Stephen Trask, one of the creators of HatAI, refers to Hedwig as they these days, so I do as well.

[monstersinthecosmos]

RJ will treat Marius like a saint. He will play therapist/father-in-law to Louis and vouch for his son's innocence and loyalty to Louis. He knows both of his sons fuck Louis so occasional bribery gifts work to preserve his good will.

first of all sorry this is so hot lmfao: He knows both of his sons fuck Louis so occasional bribery gifts work to preserve his good will. 🥵

but no really, like okay here's the thing, and I've said this a few times so I don't want to say it again LOL but obviously everyone can read the same book and we all come out with different ideas about what it meant, based on our lived experiences and tastes, and I think we all knew that the books needed some updates. Not just because they're way too whacky and nonlinear to work smoothly as a TV series, but because there's a lot of outdated tropes & -isms that weren't going to fly.

And like the convergence of those two concepts means that we're gonna get one team's version of the books and also one team's opinion on what needs to be updated.

Like don't get me wrong because Marius is my favorite character in VC (and one of my fav characters in anything ever tbh) but I like him because he's fucking reprehensible. And I would've liked to see a version of him where he's just as charming and soothing and "wise" but where there's no ambiguity about the harm he causes. And like I don't wanna get too deep on Marius meta on a post about RJ & AMC but I think there's a lot of author intent to consider about Marius in the later books and whether or not Anne ever intended to hold him accountable or if she got bored and wanted to write fanfic by the end. That type of inconsistency might be something worth "updating" or worth exploring in a visual medium where we aren't stuck strictly to the interior of someone's POV, and the show is clearly expressing that it wants to play with POVs.

But we all know the types of like, sort of casual surface fans who just enjoy Marius and buy into his bullshit and don't see the harm he's caused, and don't see that he's actually fucking diabolical. I would argue that a lot of these are the same fans who do this to Lestat lmao. (He is, after all, MiniMarius.)

And I'm having a hard time reading what RJ will think of him. On one hand, so many of the decisions made to update the text have been just, overwhelmingly like cishet middle aged white guy decisions. That's exactly Marius's type LMAO. I wouldn't be surprised if they thought he was a saint and portrayed him as a saint, especially bc LET'S BE FUCKING HONEST I don't think they've actually done good research into the entire series, so like he's not thaaaaat bad yet in the trilogy. (There's signs, but, I think we all agree he becomes especially potent in TVA.)

On the other hand!!!!!!!! They've really turned Lestat's abusive behavior up to fucking 3578193587135 so like. Maybe they get it? (tbh I'm still having a hard time sussing out what they intended to be abusive and what they didn't, though. Fucking yikes lmao.)

Plus the lore is so fucking shoddy on AMC I'm curious like what kind of goofy nonsense they'll come up with to create a power imbalance when like idk it feels like all vampires have all powers or some shit like what is Marius going to be able to hold over these guys to impress them?

I also feel like it's hard to gauge what they're squeamish about and what are their standards; ie: aging Claudia up at a glance was OH OKAY SURE LESS GROSS STUFF, but then in reality it was LETS MAKE HER 18 IN LIKE 5 MINUTES AND HAVE HER HYMEN GROW BACK EVERY TIME HER LIL 14 YEAR OLD BODY HAS SEX.

And then in one of the panels RJ made like a kinda dismissive/grossed out comment about Lestat/Gabrielle?

idk man like, update if you need to but I feel like maybe don't commandeer this project if these topics make you squeamish LMAO.

So would they lean into Marius/Armand being predatory? Would they age Armand up so it's not as gross? Will Marius be a saint or will he be so over the top fucking disgusting that he's the no. 1 villain of the show?! Will Armand be aged up but they'll still find a way to make it fucked up?!

It's so hard to say based on RJ's opinions on sexual assault in fiction; like I could see him leaning into it for the shock factor but I could also see him so blithely misreading it that he doesn't see it as an issue in the book at all. Especially because Armand's experience of it doesn't fit neatly into RJ's whole "rape makes you tougher" trope since Armand doesn't ask the reader to think of it as rape. I just worry that this man has such a disconnect with this topic that he wouldn't really see it in the text, idk.

Anyway whew who knows, alls I know is I don't want them to even involve anyone else from canon I cannot stomach this LMAO. I have to keep reminding myself not to dismiss this man/this team as misunderstanding the text because they're educated professionals and keep reminding myself that this is deliberate because they do not care and in the end this is a corporate cash grab and not an artistic project made for us LMAO. And they're already so fucking far off the mark of the books anyway I don't think it's possible to make predictions at all.

[nicanario]

this post is a product of its time

tw: discussion of racism, homophobia, misogyny and a short mention of sexual abuse.

ok, this is basically gonna be a very long rambling post about my not fully developed thoughts on the justification many people give to bigotry when talking about the past: "it was a product of its time"

it would be fair to say, with me being a raging SJW socialist scumbag, that I don't think this is a very good argument and is most of the time actually an excuse to not think about the problems inherent to our society, historical or not, and, by extension, the problems with ourselves. but I do think that sometimes, just sometimes, this can be a valid point, or at least one that raises some interesting questions.

I'm going to cite examples from several pieces of media, but fear not, I'll try to make this as accesible as I can.

so, let's take Star Trek: The Original Series (TOS) as our first case study. this show has, correctly, been called progressive by everyone except for clueless people who don't know much about Star Trek's history, Star Trek's crew, Star Trek's cast, or, frankly, Star Trek. because if you ignore the clear, sometimes in-your-face political history and present of the franchise, I don't think you know much about it at all. I do think you can call yourself a fan if you like it, you may have watched every single episode for all I know. but lots of mental gymnastics are needed to ignore the political progressiveness Star Trek has had since its very beginning.

episodes like Let That Be Your Last Battlefield are obviously anti-racist, at least in their intention. but the episode in question really is "a product of its time," and at the very end fails to uphold its ideals. the episode ends with the two aliens (who are LITERALLY. BLACK ON ONE SIDE. AND WHITE ON THE OTHER. BUT IN THE OPPOSITE SIDES.) fighting each other on their devastated planet, and the crew is like, "oh yeah if they both would give up on their hatred that they both share both of them equally" when it has been firmly established that one is the oppressor and the other one is the oppressed.

and that's a lot of Star Trek, not just TOS. even Discovery, one of the most recent series, has done Bury Your Gays (and Trans) TWICE (though both times literally rectified it, which is cool). there are episodes of the franchise that are overtly racist, or misogynistic, etc. TOS is lauded, mostly justifiably, as very progressive, especially for the standards of the time. they put a woman of colour as one of the senior staff, for fuck's sake. of course, when you analyse that same character, as with most of their intentions at being progressive, you'll see that she was relegated and sometimes even outright mistreated when she had the potential to be much more. but, at that time, it was a lot.

I had a friend (emphasis on "had") who, after I told him about TOS's both progressiveness and constant misogyny, told me something like "imagine feminists trying to complain about a show from the 60s." so, with unearned spite, he was, in some way, trying to make the argument that it was a product of its time.

you could say Star Trek, all of Star Trek, is "a product of its time" in the sense that it's not always perfect. uh, yes, I would agree. but that doesn't mean people have to accept it. well, I mean, the show is kinda over, you have to accept it's that way. but you don't have to accept that it's not wrong just because it was a product of its time.

H. P. Lovecraft, as another example, was a greatly influential writer whose works still shape a lot of people's ideas to this day. I have only ever read like one of his stories, so don't expect me to have an opinion on his works. but I can have an opinion on what I know about him as a person (he did have a life outside his writing, after all). and, yeah, he was a huge asshole. if you want to know more in depth about the subject, please watch Hbomberguy's video on him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8u8wZ0WvxI

but basically, he was incredibly racist & homophobic. some people might even say, "he was a product of his time." well, there are two possible rebuttals to that. the surface level one, and the one that examines why that argument is wrong to the core.

The Surface Level Response to "it was a product of its time": um, no it wasn't. Lovecraft was more racist than a lot of people even in his time. he wasn't just a guy who carried the racist beliefs of his society like everyone else, he was a reactionary who actively thought and discussed how racist he was, and how right he was for being that way. but that's only applicable to Lovecraft. one can't argue the same for Star Trek: TOS, because TOS did try to be more progressive and more anti-racist than the rest of its society. that leads us to the next response.

The Response that Actually Deals with the Fact that No Matter How Progressive You're Trying to Be, Your Failings Can Still be Criticized: the thing is, trying to excuse Lovecraft's or Star Trek's bigotry because they were "products of their times" misses the fact that racism is still wrong, and some people knew that in those times as well. people from these times weren't all naive or stupid or whatever. they had the capacity for rational thinking. they could stop and think, "hey, maybe what we're doing is wrong." and the fact is, some people did. not perfectly, not to our standars, but they did. everyone could have stopped and think. but most of them didn't, and we can criticize them for it. racism, homophobia, sexism, etc. HURT PEOPLE. horribly. massively.

also, even if you agree with the "it's a product of its time" argument, some people aren't criticising people's or work's bigotry: they're explaining why they don't want to experience it.

The Talons of Weng-Chiang is a 1977 Doctor Who serial, and it's one of the show's more racist stories. almost all the villains are Chinese, every single Chinese person is a villain. there's yellowface, slurs, stereotypes, the Doctor speaking nonsense words instead of actual Chinese, and a general belittling of Chinese culture.

note that I'm neither Chinese nor of Chinese descent. I have been searching for hours for a few posts I've read a while ago (some by people who are of Asian descent) about this episode and I can't find them. sorry.

suffice it to say, even though I love Jago & Litefoot (the audio series and the characters), it's not an acceptable episode at all. but it's also important to remark that, because of it, some people aren't going to want to watch it. sometimes, people aren't saying "the episode shouldn't be this way," which causes others to answer that it was "a product of its time." sometimes, people are just saying, "this is an episode that attacks real people. I don't want to see it. I don't care if it was common in that era to be racist, i don't want to experience it."

however, there is an interesting point to the "it's a product of its time" argument. after all, everything is influenced by its society, for better or worse. and we can't change it anymore. TOS sometimes didn't quite understand the political themes it wanted to explore. Lovecraft was a horrible bigot. Talons was racist towards Chinese folks. and that's that. I don't think we should change the episodes/stories or anything. edit them in any way. that would be, in a sense, changing history. and we wouldn't learn anything from it, about how we can do better.

I think there are two solutions to this:

1. warnings before starting the text: this was done with The Talons of Weng-Chiang. on Britbox, where you can watch Classic Who, this serial has a content warning before the start. that's good.

2. the removal as a whole of the text from some places: I think before applying this one, there should be a lot of thought put into each case. I don't think removing a whole serial of Doctor Who or Lovecraft's stories from anything would be, well, fair. especially on tv episodes a lot more people worked on those, not just the writers and the directors. Lovecraft's writing influenced thousands. we shouldn't erase them or anything. but sometimes, for some cases, we should.

those in the US might seen a Confederate statue being taken down. that is, in a way, a form of removal of a piece of history.

but that is a good removal. statues glorify. one sees a statue and probably thinks "this was a person worthy of admiration." they should be taken down, maybe even with a permanent mark of why this was done (a plaque that reads "a statue of X was here, but he didn't deserve it because of Y" could be put in place of the statues, for example).

another example is the removal from DVDs of the short episode A Fix with Sontarans, a Sixth Doctor minisode that featured Jimmy Savile, a presenter who was later found out to be sexually abusing children.

the removal of that minisode is good, actually. it's not a full episode (it's not even Doctor Who). some might say that's "erasing history" but, like, you can still find it online or information about it if you want. this minisode deserves removal from DVDs and Blu-Rays and whatever more than content warnings. it's not an important part of the show and it prominently features a horrible person who did horrible things during that time.

so, after all that, I have explained why I don't like the "it's a product of its time" argument. it is an interesting point that deserves to be examined, but it's not very good.

I have had this in Drafts for so long I've probably forgot some of the points I was going to make, but eh, what can you do? hope you enjoyed reading this.

bye

[dreadlockholiday]

Gold on the Ceiling

Pairing: Steve/Bucky

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 2694

Tags/Warnings: Post-sex bickering; Gratuitous mentions of dicks in various forms; Oh, also, bodily fluids; Crack? Idk I think this is funny; They’re in love.

A/N: This is for @darter-blue, who requested a sneak peek for the Wip Folder Game. I figured I’d just post the whole fic since I was almost done :p Also, this was supposed to be a little celebration for reaching 300 followers, but then life happened and I didn’t manage to post it. There’s 337 of you now, so this is for everyone who followed me and decided to stay <3 love you!

It all started with Bucky's velvet suit. 

Steve's never been a fan of those fancy gatherings that Stark organises at least once a month – they're far too loud and crowded for his liking, and his hypersensitive nose can't stand how much perfume people put on for these occasions – but he usually manages to power through them with fake smiles and a lot of finger food to pass the time. 

That was Steve’s plan for tonight.

Truth to be told, the party wasn't even that bad; the spinach mini-quiches served on the trays were a delicious distraction from the agony of being surrounded by men and women salivating over him, and Steve was having a relatively good time in a corner all by himself. The night promised to be uneventful and placid, but then it all went sideways when Bucky decided to show up. 

If the party was agony before, now it was complete, utter torture. 

Since he had to come here straight after work, Steve had no idea how his boyfriend would be dressed for the night; the element of surprise was exciting, if he had to be honest, and the fact that Bucky refused to send him a picture of the outfit made Steve all the more curious and intrigued. He tried to imagine multiple times what Bucky would be wearing, but no amount of fantasizing could have prepared him for this. 

The suit Bucky was wearing was the depiction of sin; forest green and skin tight, it made the dim lights reflect softly against the fluffy velvet clinging to those impossible thighs and ass and crotch. A pale green silk shirt completed the look as it cascaded delicately over Bucky's torso, his smooth chest exposed and looking so delectable where the first three buttons were left open. 

He looked good enough to eat, and the poor quiches lay forgotten as Bucky had stolen all of Steve's attention for the rest of the night. 

Steve’s self control had never been so feeble and precarious. The desire to touch and ravish Bucky was unbearable, making him fidgety and driving him completely insane. Bucky knew what he was doing to him, if his mischievous, flirty looks were anything to go by, and as soon as it was socially acceptable to leave the party, Steve all but dragged his boyfriend back to the safety of their apartment.

It's safe to say that he didn't hold back. 

They fucked on every available surface in every available position without stopping until it felt like they couldn't get it up anymore. He'd never thought they could hit the limits of the serum, but Steve guesses there's a first time for everything; it can keep up with them only to an extent, after all, and now he can finally say that he knows how it feels to reach that point. 

Precisely, it feels like his dick is about to fall off. 

It lies limp and lifeless on his thigh, a sad sight that makes Steve groan in sympathy and throw his head back on the pillow until the ceiling is the only thing he sees. Everything is still a little blurry and full of tiny spots dancing in front of his eyes, and he tries to blink them out as he catches his breath, waiting for the blood to rush back into his brain. 

"I'm dead," Steve wheezes, wincing when talking makes his jaw hurt in interesting places. 

Beside him, Bucky agrees with nothing more than a grunt and a weak thumbs up, his laboured breaths indicating that he's as affected by their sex marathon as Steve is.

It's not often that he gets to feel real exhaustion and tiredness anymore; the serum makes sure that he's always in the best form and that nothing can wear him out. This time, though, he's left feeling like all the energy has been drained from his body. His limbs are shaky and weak like overcooked noodles, muscles sore in places he forgot could hurt at all. 

It's oddly nice to know that he's not completely invincible; it makes him feel human, makes him feel alive, and the thought puts a happy, sated smile on his face even though he's one breath away from collapsing. 

Sleep is quickly creeping over him, pressing him into the sweet softness of the mattress like a weighted blanket, and Steve's powerless against the force that makes his heavy eyelids slip shut. He's painfully aware of the mess that they've made – there's come and lube and sweat all over his body and the sheets, and, quite frankly, on a ton of other surfaces in the house – but there's no way he's getting up to clean anytime soon. He's pretty sure that if he dares to move his body is gonna fall to pieces, anyway, so he decides to lie on the bed for the time being, waiting for the serum to refill his batteries. 

Lulled by the clock in the room ticking the seconds away, Steve is just about to fall into deep sleep when Bucky's voice jolts him awake. 

"Steve?" 

"Mm?" He hums, not bothering to open his eyes. 

"Is that your come on the ceiling?" 

The words take a few long seconds to register into his brain. Steve's eyes slowly peel open, and he squints curiously against the dim light radiated from the lamp until the room finally comes back into focus. There's a bunch of white streaks painting the beige of the ceiling, and after a quick scrutiny Steve has to admit that they can't be mistaken for anything other than that. 

Trying to remember how that could have possibly happened is a hard battle against the fog in his brain, but judging by the way the stains are already dry and crusted, it must've been a couple hours already, and by then they were probably too sex drunk to notice anything odd taking place. 

Steve's also pretty sure it's his own doing. 

"Nah," He says. "Yours."

Bucky's snort signals that he can see through Steve's lie clear as day. "No, it's not," He argues. "I don't come that damn high." 

"You don't give yourself enough credit, baby," Steve sighs, fighting back a grin when he hears the sheets rustle as Bucky turns his head towards him. 

Meeting his scowling gaze, Steve gives him a sweet, innocent smile and reaches up to brush a lock of hair from Bucky's pouting face. "How's your hair still so pretty after all that?" 

He's lying again. It's not pretty, but the absolute mess sticking out in all directions on Bucky's head is cute in a way that makes him want to pinch his cheeks and coo at him. He knows from experience that it would be a terrible thing to do. 

"Don't change the subject." Bucky bats his hand away, before he sits up with a pained groan and points his finger directly at Steve's face. "You're cleaning that." 

And then he gets up and saunters over to the bathroom, making it clear that the discussion is over. 

Steve begs to differ, and he sputters indignantly as he follows behind Bucky. "Come oooon, that's too high! How am I supposed to reach it?!" 

The look Bucky throws him over his shoulder is priceless. "You're taller than me, Steve!" His tone is menacing, but the way his taut ass bounces as he walks doesn't make Steve feel threatened at all. If anything, his eyes are helplessly glued to it as he stumbles behind his boyfriend. 

"By just three inches!" 

"Well, that's three inches closer to the ceiling," Bucky grumbles as he comes to stand in front of their double sink. 

"But–" 

"Steve." Bucky meets his eyes in the mirror, and Steve shuts up obediently, pressing his lips together to fight back his laughter as he moves to the other side of the vanity.  

They wash their faces and brush their teeth in silence for a few minutes, Steve pouting over dramatically at the Bucky in the mirror and being ignored all the while. The grumpy look on Bucky's face is adorable, and paired with the complete mess that his hair is, it makes Steve itch to tease and poke at him. He would allow himself the luxury to do it if he knew it wouldn't earn him a cold shoulder for the next three days, and no amount of coddling and pampering will make Bucky forgive him. 

Sometimes Steve knows how to keep his mouth shut, after all. 

Bucky finishes first, setting his toothbrush aside and finally dignifying Steve with a toothy smile. "Come on, stud," He says. "Pouting won't get you anywhere." 

Steve pouts even more and gives Bucky the stink eye, but all it earns him is a slap on his ass. "Ow!" 

A kiss is pressed to his shoulder as an apology. "Get in the shower, Steve." 

Spitting the toothpaste out, Steve proceeds to do just that. He sighs blissfully when the warm water falls over his shoulders and melts the exertion away, and when a pair of arms wraps around him from behind, Steve sags into Bucky's sweet hold. 

They stay under the stream for a few long minutes, eyes closed and breathing in sync as Bucky's hands rub softly into his tired muscles, his cheek pressed against Steve's shoulder blade. Steve would be content to remain like this for the rest of eternity, but the urge to kiss his boyfriend is becoming stronger and stronger, and he can't help but turn around in his arms in search of his lips. 

Bucky gazes at him with a lazy smile before giving in and letting his mouth slot against Steve's. Their kisses are slow and sleepy, full of affection and a unique brand of sweetness that makes Steve sigh with bliss.  His hands wrap around Bucky's torso to pull him flush against him, skin on skin with only the water managing to slide between them; the closure makes Bucky hum softly against his lips, makes his arms squeeze a bit tighter around Steve's waist. 

"How am I even supposed to clean come from the ceiling?" Steve asks when Bucky moves to kiss his jaw. 

"You'll find a way, honey," Bucky murmurs against the skin on Steve's neck. "You watch those DIY videos on YouTube all the time, there's gotta be something." 

"DIY videos," Steve snorts, because Bucky's very obviously fucking with him and he wonders why he even expected him to be of any help. "I'm gonna do you myself," He teases against Bucky's ear, smirking when it earns him a chuckle and a fiesty bite on his neck. 

"You just did, enough for today." 

And then Bucky's lips are back on his again, smothering whatever Steve was about to say next. 

They make out lazily for a long time, so long, in fact, that the water grows lukewarm. Not having much time left on their hands, they clean themselves as quickly as possible while still managing to do a decent job. As they check each other's bodies for any injuries that might have slipped their attention, Steve can't help but cackle when he rediscovers the huge hickey he left on the inside of Bucky's butt cheek. 

He purposefully sucked the mark in the shape of a penis without Bucky knowing, but now that he's basically crying with  laughter there's no way he can hide the truth anymore. 

Bucky gives Steve a scandalised look when he checks for himself in the mirror, and for a moment Steve's afraid that he's about to get tackled by 220 pounds of angry, revenge-seeking supersoldier. Pulling out his best puppy eyes, Steve tries to save himself just in time when he says, "Well, you can say you have a dickey now." 

The silence that follows is deafening. It’s so quiet that Steve can practically hear crickets as he watches the indignation on Bucky’s face melt into a confused expression.

“You know, like… dick-hickey? Dickey?” He explains, feeling both a genius and a dumbass. “Get it?”  

Bucky tries to keep a straight face for a few seconds, but he’s powerless against the cackles that burst out of him at Steve’s words. 

They laugh so hard they cry.

After their giggles have died down, Steve gets kicked out of the bathroom so that Bucky can dry his hair in peace. He takes the opportunity to change the sheets in the bedroom, replacing the filthy set with a clean and dry one; the clothes scattered all around the house end up in the hamper, Bucky's velvet suit fortunately still intact and preserved – Steve plans to make him wear it again, possibly multiple times. 

By the time Bucky's out of the bathroom, Steve is standing on the bed with a pack of wet wipes in hand, gently rubbing the stains off the ceiling and smiling with satisfaction when they come off without ruining the paint. 

"Found a good tutorial?" Bucky asks as he drags his tired limbs over to the bed and plops face down next to Steve's feet, his skin pink and smooth and littered with love bites. 

"Believe it or not," Steve singsongs, before he slowly starts to get down on the ground, his hips screaming in protest through the whole process. "Fuck, your thighs are gonna kill me one day."

Bucky rolls over lazily and gives him an impish smile. "Hm, but what a way to go."

Well, if Steve could choose a way to meet the afterlife, he supposes that death by Bucky's thighs doesn't sound too bad. That doesn't mean he'll give Bucky the satisfaction of knowing that. 

"Yeah, a painful one, let me tell you," He sighs, and Bucky's cackle follows him as he goes to the bathroom to throw away the wipes. 

"Don't be silly," Bucky says. "You love my thighs." 

Walking back into the room, Steve stops by the dresser to pick two pairs of boxers. "Yeah I do," He admits, the playful facade crumbling for a moment and making space for a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest. "I love everything about you." 

"Aww." Bucky's eyes are sparkling when Steve looks up at him. He's so pretty like this, naked and soft and full of Steve's marks, his eyes all droopy with sleep. "Everything?" 

"Everything." Steve grins as he puts his boxers on. "Even your huge ego."

Bucky's expression turns wicked. "Not the only huge thing ab–" but he's cut off by the pair of underwear that Steve throws at his face. "Hey!" 

"Come on, wear them," Steve chuckles as he joins him on the bed. "I wanna sleep."

"Don't need them." Bucky tosses the boxers on the floor with a scowl before he reaches for Steve's own, trying to pull them off, too. "And you don't either."

His fingers are cold and they tickle Steve's hips. "Stop," He laughs, grabbing Bucky's wrists and immobilising them against his chest. "Not everyone likes to sleep with their ass out in the open air."

Giggling, Bucky melts into Steve's hold and snuggles closer, burying his face in Steve's neck. "You're missing out," He mumbles with a sleepy yawn. "Our dicks could be cuddling all night."

"Oh, God, Bucky." Steve groans as he turns the lamp on his bedside table off, trying to get that disturbing picture out of his head.

Against his chest, he feels the vibrations of Bucky's laugh reverberate through his skin, and he can't help but smile stupidly as he pulls his boyfriend closer. 

He shuts his eyes, wiggling down until they're facing each other, limbs intertwined as if they're a couple of clingy octopuses. Steve knows it's gonna be impossible to pry Bucky from his own body when he decides to change position, but for now, he basks in the warmth of their embrace. 

Bucky's breaths lull him quickly to sleep, and Steve feels himself drifting fast and deep until, "Steve?" 

Steve inhales, hoping it's just a simple 'goodnight' or 'I love you' that won't keep him awake any longer. "What is it?" 

A few moments pass in silence, Steve almost managing to fall back asleep, when Bucky suddenly speaks. 

"You left the light in the bathroom on." 

[traumascumdiluc]

hi! went scrolling because i wanted to see darragh's beautiful words, in a horrific fit of homosexuality

here is an example, from 2021, of someone talking about walk ins as if that is a Real Actual zthing. that caused massive harm to us in the trenches of 2014-2016, like i just mentioned! it just happens to also be the person whose post we reblogged, wow, ain't that a coinkidink?

also "dissipation" lmaooo. when we "were endo" at least everyone had the guts to say you were trying to kill a literal part of yourself.

like genuinely, considering fragments, this is still so fucked! all parts, even fragments, contain autobiographical information! they are part of you! they carry something! don't get me wrong i often find our fragments annoying. to call one out, do something other than just ask "why would you do that" or "why would this happen to me" or "what am i supposed to do" or any number of worse questions! i find that part irritating. still a part!

also actually. the idea of parts "agreeing to" "dissolution." suicidality. because fwik, endos don't Do integration. like, i'm sure there are did/osdd1 systems who experience fusion as death, especially with. uhhh fuck. ego dystonic? splits? ego dystonic systems? the kind of polyfrag where you just split and split forever and ever because it feels safer? may have the wrong phrase, anyway, i feel like the idea of fusion as death really came from endos and especially "empowered multiples" and look what that hath wrought. i don't seek final fusion, most of my system is agreed we are comfortable being this way, but the fearmongering about integration. or fusion! fusion WILL happen if you are polyfrag! it isn't death! it is recovery! your alters CANNOT ACTUALLY DIE! there can be inner world experiences mimicking this, and actually, this brings me to another thing- endo damage to programming surviviors! i won't touch system hopping, frankly who cares where it originated, it just Isn't A Thing You Can Do, but- system resets? alter death? both are. ugh. uggghhhh. basically shut up forever, i think. neither is what it sounds like at the surface level, neither should just be taken and ran with like that.

tldr if endos are so pro recovery then why simon

I really cannot overstate the damage endogenic spaces have caused to my system. One of our known alters believed they were endogenic and struggled severely with acknowledging our trauma, which was encouraged by spaces claiming non-traumagenic "plurality". One of our protectors was led to believe it was possible to kill or eject alters and attempted this on one of our persecutors, who now has to live with the knowledge that she would be dead if it was possible. It set her back immensely in terms of recovery. These beliefs can and do harm people with DIDOSDD.

[vampish-glamour]

The ask about radfems being right made me want to rant. The sheer vitriol against TERFs (including graphic rape threats which automatically makes them look sympathetic) made people forget some important points

1) radfems, and people who believe in radical ideologies, are very good at presenting the milder points of their philosophy. No radfem is dumb enough to go to someone like "men should be castrated before puberty for the safety of women", they'd start with something much milder like "I hate how teen boys get sex ed from porn at a young age" or something like that

2) the same line can have different meanings depending on the person. "We must protect vulnerable ethnicities at risk of genocide": a normal person might mean, I don't know, indigenous people being erased, and you might agree. But what if it's a white supremacist saying that, and he meant white people being replaced by mixed race people and immigrants? Very different context. Radfems employ similar strategies: "a dress doesn't make you a woman" can mean "gender is not tied to gender expression" or "trans women aren't women"

3) a broken clock is right twice a day. Just because a radfem says that the sky is blue, doesn't mean it's actually green. Just because she denounces Jessica Yaniv (because no one else does), doesn't mean you have to defend that person. Just because she says that the number of AFAB enbies who say "I'm nonbinary because I hate common women experiences like pregnancies" is worrying and might hint at internalized misogyny, doesn't mean she isn't right about that. Again, it's the entire context that makes radfeminism repugnant, but you can agree on some points for very different reasons.

And besides, we all know the woke left loves almost every radfeminist points except "trans bad" and "queer is a slur", so they don't get to complain :V

Mad agree (also I want to clarify that the ask wasn’t about radfems being right—it was about their base level claims often being right and easy to agree with, as well as easy to understand where those claims come from. And that’s how people go down the road of getting into the radical stuff, and ending up being batshit crazy radical feminists/terfs).

Your point about starting with milder takes is exactly what I was trying to get at with my response to the ask—and you gave a great example. On the surface, the take “I hate that teen boys get sex ed from porn” is an overall agreeable one. Porn is a terrible place to get sex education, in the same way medical shows are terrible places to learn what it’s like to be a surgeon, and cop shows are terrible places to learn what it’s like to be a cop. It’s all incredibly unrealistic.

So arguably, radfems are right when they make that surface basic claim, as it’s not a radical feminist exclusive claim. But then they manage to twist “teen boys are getting sex ed from porn and that’s bad” into “we should just castrate teen boys because men are inherently rapists and porn makes you a rapist”. And I would hope most rational people would go “holy shit wtf” to that claim.

And with the flexibility of lines, I see that a lot. I mean… it even happens with far right vs far left. Remember that post that said “white people shouldn’t adopt non white kids”, and a bunch of far leftists were agreeing because they believed white people adopting non white kids was racist… and it turned out the post had actually been made by a far right white supremacist, who believed that non whites were inferior to whites.

Terfs definitely take that into consideration. To myself, “a dress doesn’t make you a woman” means that dresses aren’t necessary to womanhood, and the lack of dresses isn’t necessary to manhood. To a terf, “a dress doesn’t make you a woman” means “trans women are men in dresses”.

And yes, thank you for pointing out the broken clock thing. Because obviously a radfem can say something sensical. Not everything that comes out of a radfem is necessarily radfem beliefs… so trying to act like anything a radfem ever says must be terf rhetoric is ridiculous. It’s just that most of the stuff radfems are “right” about are those surface level claims (again, like “a dress doesn’t make you a woman”) that aren’t actually radfem belief. It’s when you put that statement into the context they see it in, when it becomes radfem belief. That still doesn’t make the base claim wrong or radfem, though. Just the context radical feminism gives it.

Even “queer is a slur”… that’s not radfem belief. Do a lot of radfems believe queer is a slur? Yes. But something tells me that’s less about them being radfems, and more about many radfems being wlw (or at least claim to be wlw). The ones who aren’t claim to be allies (despite likely supporting political lesbianism). So is it really that surprising that a group largely filled with wlw, people who think they’re wlw, and people who think they support wlw, is against a homophobic slur being treated as if it’s not a homophobic slur???

I also agree that terfs are able to rack up a lot of sympathy from the constant hatred thrown their way. I know we all dislike terfs. But aggressively hating them is exactly what they want!!! Because then they can say things like “they’re silencing us because they don’t want to hear the truth”, or claim victimhood because clearly everyone hates them because something something patriarchy misogyny sexism. I’ve seen so many terfs take pride in the hatred they get, and it only solidifies their beliefs and turns others towards them. So no, constant “fuck terfs” posts don’t do any good. They just fuel the fire of the radfem oppression complex.

And it’s completely true that a lot of progressives actually would agree with radfem beliefs in full context, as long as it didn’t have “radfem/terf” attached onto it. And as long as it had nothing to do with trans people. Mainly anything talking about how evil men are.

Anyways, great points!!