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noyaspeach · 1 year ago

Text

first light

Summary: Could this be how every day begins?

After a long and restless night with no sleep, you go looking for something to while away the hours. As it turns out, Astarion is just as much of an insomniac as you are, and the two of you spend the early morning together.

Pairing: Astarion x Gender Neutral! Reader

Word Count: 4,334

Tags: Fluff and Light Angst, Pining, Feelings Realization (Kinda?), Second Person POV, Soft Astarion, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Insomnia, Watching the Sunrise

Author's Note:

not me returning to fic-writing over 3 years later with an astarion fic of all things. i can't even guarantee i'll write another one considering i'm about to start college again, but i would sure like to!

i was heavily inspired to write this because of the release of hozier's album. it perfectly aligned with me becoming obsessed with baldur's gate 3, and astarion is just so hozier-coded, how could i not? as the title suggests, i was inspired by the song "first light" which is the last song on the album, based on dante's ascent out of hell and his first taste of light and freedom. i imagine it's how astarion must have felt when he was no longer forced to do cazador's bidding and when he could finally experience sunlight again.

obligatory disclaimers: i haven't actually played the game yet, so this fic is informed by clips i've seen online, gif sets, the baldur's gate wiki, and other fics. if any details in this aren't chronologically sound or if anything seems a little non-compliant with the canon of the game... now you know why lol.

still, i hope you enjoy it! this is also posted to ao3! read here!

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You stare up at the ceiling of your tent, frustration rolling in your chest as you struggle to rest. Your eyes are beginning to sting with the lack of sleep, but simply closing them does nothing to help. You’ve gone through all of your belongings twice already, looking for something to ease you into slumber, but no amount of reading or alcohol seems to do the trick. It certainly doesn’t help that the weather has been oppressively humid all night, leaving you coated in a thin, sticky layer of sweat that doesn’t seem to leave you no matter how many layers you shed.

You can’t bear to lay around in the thick air of your tent, so you decide to sit out by the extinguished campfire in the hopes that it will do more to relax you.

You quietly open your tent flap and emerge into the mild morning air. It’s much cooler outside, and a light breeze tickles your arm, already doing wonders to dry your sweat. It’s still too early for daylight, so the camp is only dimly illuminated by the moonlight. With the lack of light, you listen out for the sounds of the forest around you: the chirps of insects beneath you, hooting owls in the distance, and a trickling stream not too far away. Focusing on these scarce sounds, you already feel much calmer.

After a moment of peace, you hear a rustle to your right. You whip your head toward the sound, hands ready at your weapon, when you see a familiar face emerge from the trees. You let your hands drop to your side again. It’s just Astarion. He appears to be returning to his tent, noticeably empty-handed. You wonder what he’s up to this early in the morning, and he seems to be wondering the same thing, eyeing you with an inquisitive raise of the eyebrow.

“Restless sleeper, are we?” He remarks.

“Something like that,” you reply. “Just needed some fresh air.”

You notice that Astarion is still in his sleepwear, the sleeves of his white undershirt pushed up above his elbows. “And what are you doing out?”

“Oh, you know. Searching for a midnight snack, so to speak.” He gestures to the woods behind him. “Unfortunately, there isn’t a very fine selection tonight.”

You grimace at the thought of Astarion catching an innocent woodland creature between his teeth. It’s a less-than-flattering image, one that’s informed by the memory of the boar he drained a while back, and one that you’re eager to dismiss.

“Is that all you’ve been up to?” You ask.

“Why? Were you getting lonely without me?” He teases. You can only roll your eyes in response. When he doesn’t receive a retort, Astarion sighs and continues. “Right, if you want an honest answer, I was going for a stroll to pass the time.”

You tilt your head to the side. “Wandering about on your own while everyone’s asleep isn’t a very good idea. If something happens out there, none of us will be able to save you”

“Trust me, darling, I can hold my own just fine. But I appreciate you worrying about my safety. It’s almost touching.” He smirks. “I would appreciate it even more if you would refrain from telling the others about my… routine here. I don’t exactly want the company.”

“Routine? How long have you been taking these walks?”

“Since the day I joined you all, I would say.” Astarion’s eyes move to the entrance of his own tent. “I haven’t been able to get much sleep myself, and I figure there isn’t much use laying on my bedroll if I’m not resting or satisfying… other needs. So, I walk. And occasionally feed.”

You search Astarion’s face for any sign of deception, but he’s being surprisingly truthful, if a little bashful. You resonate with his sleeplessness, being something of an insomniac yourself. Despite the immense toll your travels have taken on your body, you can’t seem to rest very easily at all, especially when you need it the most. Whether it’s the vivid memories of past battles replaying in your dreams, the smothering climate of whatever campsite you’ve picked out that night, or the relentless wriggling of the tadpole in your head, there’s always something keeping you up.

“I’m surprised I haven’t caught you earlier, then,” you say. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Thank you,” says Astarion. He smiles, and it seems he means it too. “Well, seeing as neither one of us will be getting to bed anytime soon, would you care to join me?”

You cross your arms. “I thought you would have preferred to be alone.”

“Misery loves company and all. I think I can make an exception for a fellow night owl,” he drawls.

You agree to walk with him then and quietly head in the opposite direction of both tents. You’re sure to bring your weapon with you in the off chance that something—or someone—attacks the two of you. A very small part of you still garners some suspicion for Astarion himself, especially considering that night in which he tried to feed from you while you slept. Perhaps that’s another factor in your insomnia; although you let Astarion drink his fill that night, you can’t be entirely sure he won’t try it again. That he won’t succeed in creeping up on you and draining you completely.

You shiver at the thought, but pass it off as a cold chill from the wind. As the two of you slowly move from the campsite, your surroundings become even quieter. The chirping insects from before are silent now, and the nearby stream is barely a whisper. You can hardly hear either of your footsteps. It’s at once peaceful and unsettling.

After a few short minutes, you’re the first to break the silence. “What do you usually do when you’re out here?”

Astarion thinks for a moment, and hums. “Hmm. Aside from hunting, I suppose I just sit with my thoughts. There isn’t much else to do, is there?”

You nod, but somehow you don’t think being left with one’s own thoughts is particularly relaxing for anyone in your party. You can’t imagine it’s any good for Astarion, especially.

“And what do you think about?”

“So much,” he says. “Plans, mostly. Where our next destination is, where I’ll find my next meal, what I’ll do when we reach Baldur’s Gate, how to get rid of this wretched parasite…”

“Do you ever think about your past?”

Astarion’s gaze is a bit distant until you ask that. He slows his pace and turns to you, looking unusually serious. “I prefer not to.”

He leaves it at that, so you decide not to push further. You only know a little about Astarion’s life before the tadpole entered his mind. You know he’s the spawn of an even more powerful vampire, a master to whom he was a slave for nearly 200 years, and you know he’s lived in the shadows up until now. It isn’t lost on you that this entire adventure is his first taste of freedom in centuries. You understand why he would rather focus on the future. Still, your nagging curiosity makes you desperate for more information about him.

“What about you, my dear?” He returns to his more amused attitude. “What do you do in that tent of yours to pass the time until the morning comes? Don’t tell me if it’s anything naughty… Actually, do.”

You shake your head and suppress a smile as he actually almost earns a laugh from you. “Nothing like that. I normally just try to distract myself until I can hopefully fall back asleep. Read something, sort my wares, hum a tune. Anything to relax.”

“I take it that hasn’t been working for you?”

“No. Not one bit. I’m actually kind of worried it might start affecting my performance from now on. Unlike some of the elves in this team, I actually need quite a lot of rest.”

“A true shame,” he tuts. “Although it is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, I don’t need to sleep for very long. On the other, I can’t sleep for very long. Sometimes I do wish I could simply let the whole day pass while I doze off. That would be much easier than just waiting it out.”

You hadn’t considered this. While the rest of your traveling companions are able to sleep through the night, Astarion has no choice but to wait for everyone to wake up around sunrise. All he can do is hope to get a few hours of rest before sitting through the unnerving silence of the night, the only unique sounds being the faint snores and mumbles that float from the other tents. You and he are alike in this struggle, but you at least are lucky enough to have a few nights when your exhaustion is bad enough to force you to bed.

“Well, taking a stroll like this is a good idea,” you finally say. “Thank you for inviting me along.”

A small smile tugs at the corner of Astarion’s lips. “Thank you for joining me. I will admit, it’s easier to pass the time with a… friend… by my side.”

Your heart swells at that word: “friend.” It’s a welcome upgrade from whatever you two might have been considered before.

A few minutes pass with the both of you chatting politely. As you walk, you make note of your surroundings to ensure that you don’t stray too far from camp or encounter any traps. This occupies your mind for a while, but Astarion seems to be running out of topics to discuss. Not wanting him to abandon your little trip just yet, you try to think of something to entertain him. Looking out at the forest and the sky in front of you, you notice that the moon has begun its descent into the trees, meaning morning is almost upon you two. This gives you an idea.

You stop and pivot to face Astarion. He stops too, surprised at your sudden pause.

“What is it?” He asks.

"Would you like to watch the sunrise with me?”

He’s taken aback only momentarily before he adopts his familiar flirtatious demeanor. “Trying to turn this into a romantic tryst, are you? If you want something more, you’ll have to be a little more direct than that.”

You shake your head. “No, I don’t mean anything by it. I want to know if you’ll sit and watch the sun come up with me. That’s all. It should be rising soon enough. It’s almost morning.”

He seems puzzled, his brows tightening and eyes scanning your face for any indication that you may be holding something back. When he doesn’t find anything, he settles back into an easy expression. “I seem to have misjudged. My apologies… Yes, I wouldn’t mind sitting with you.”

“Great.” You smile and begin to walk again. “I heard some water earlier, so I think there may be a stream near here. Maybe it’ll make for a nice spot.”

Astarion follows as you lead him closer to the sound of running water, and the two of you shortly come upon the stream. It’s a small, shallow brook that separates the woods from which you emerge and another expanse of trees on the other side. Right along the edge of the water is a line of smooth rocks big enough to sit on. It’s the perfect place to set up, you think.

The two of you find purchase on the edge of the rocks, feet just barely dangling off the side, hovering above the calmly flowing water. The rocks aren’t terribly big, so the two of you sit side-by-side, your knees close enough to touch. Across the brook, the trees begin to thin out, leaving a clear view of the horizon. You estimate that the sun will start its ascent in the next few minutes, but for now, the scene in front of you remains thinly bathed in moonlight.

In the quiet of the dawn, the moon casts its silvery glow on the world beneath it. Every blade of grass, every dewy flower, every mossy stone radiates with a hazy blue hue. The stream beneath you reflects this onto both of your faces, and you give a sideways glance to your companion next to you. You watch as the light dances across his cheeks, admiring how it shines in his curls, how it glistens in his deep red eyes, and how it collects in the space just above his lips. You inhale and the earthy scent of the forest mixes with the smell of Astarion’s perfume in your nose. As you do so, you realize now just how close in proximity you are to him. You’re close enough to trace his silhouette from the slope of his nose to his slender neck with your fingers if you so choose. You glimpse at the puncture marks just below his jaw and remember once more the night you let him drink from you. You remember the moment you awoke in terror before you realized who was crouched above you. You remember the uncertainty you felt as you gave him permission to continue, not sure whether it was a wise decision or not. You remember the sharp sting of his teeth entering your skin and the almost exhilarating dizziness that followed as he coaxed your blood out with his tongue. The rest of that moment is a blur to you, but you can still distinctly recall how he cradled your head with one hand, the other gently ghosting down your spine. For almost a full day after that night, the smell of bergamot and rosemary lingered on your neck.

“You do know staring is rude, don’t you, darling?” Astarion says. “Not that I particularly mind.” He leans back on his arms and turns to face you. “Not when it’s you.”

Your cheeks flush in spite of the cool temperature. You wonder when it was you became so vulnerable to Astarion’s flirting. Even though you have, you try not to entertain it. After all, you suspect his charming behavior is at least partly a ruse.

“Sorry,” you mutter and look back at the horizon. “It’s very pretty out. It’ll be even prettier in just a few more minutes, too. We’re in the perfect spot to watch the sun come up.”

“Is that so?” Astarion tilts his head as he continues to behold you. “You know, I’ve never watched the sunrise like this.”

You twist to look at him again, utterly shocked. “Seriously? Not once?”

He shakes his head.

“How come?”

He sighs. “I’m sure I must have before… everything. But I can’t seem to remember anything from back then. I lost most of my memories when I was brought back, save for a few of the important details. I suppose sunrises weren’t important enough to stick.” He frowns and stares out at a canopy of trees in the distance. “Then, as you know, it would have been incredibly stupid for me to be out in the light with this condition of mine. So, I never tried. I didn’t have very many opportunities to do so, in any case.”

Your brow furrows, but you don’t say anything. Instead, you let Astarion continue at his own pace.

“...I spent decades in my master’s lair, a- a dungeon, really. I was trapped in the darkness. The only time I was allowed out was when he needed fresh, new bodies, and even then it was always under the cover of night. For the longest time, that was all that I knew. In a way, it’s what I’m still used to…”

Suddenly his sleeplessness makes all the more sense to you.

“I know I’m free from that now, what with the tadpole and all, but…” He trails off. You understand.

After several beats of silence, you clear your throat.

“Once, when I was a child, I went playing in the woods with some of the other children in the village. There were maybe six of us in total? I don’t exactly remember. But we marched all the way from the market to the forest pretending we were a band of heroes. I was at the back of the line, right behind this boy that I really liked. I put myself there on purpose so that I could smile and blush as much as I wanted without him seeing me.”

“How cute,” Astarion comments with a quirked eyebrow.

“Yeah. I mean, I thought I was being clever, but it was pretty silly, wasn’t it? Anyways, when we entered the woods, we decided to split off into teams to see who could find the most ‘treasure.’ We just plucked up sticks, flowers, beetles, pinecones, that kind of stuff. I was paired with the boy I liked, and I was so giddy about it. I wanted to show him just how cool I was, so I climbed up every tree and jumped off every rock. Just hearing him laugh and clap for me was enough for me to keep going. So, I did. Before we knew it, we realized we had strayed too far from the rest of the group. We tried to call out to them but heard nothing in return. We were lost.”

You pause your story to get a brief look at Astarion. You half-expect him to be bored by this point, but you’re surprised to see that he’s giving you his full attention. He waves his hand, signaling for you to continue.

“We started playing late into the evening, so by the time we realized that we had no clue where we were, the sun had already begun to set. I remember cursing myself for wishing I could have some alone time with this boy because that wasn’t at all what I had had in mind. But, alas, that was the situation I was stuck in. When it reached midnight and we still hadn’t made our way back to the village, I started panicking. You should know that I used to be deathly afraid of the forest at night. I was terrified of what kind of creatures could be hiding, waiting to snatch me up and eat me alive.”

“Hmm, like vampires?” Astarion teases.

You smirk. “Precisely. You’ll remember, though, that I was stuck with the boy I liked. So, there was no way I could show that I was scared. I couldn’t display any sign of weakness or else he might not think I was as cool as I let off. Knowing this, I put on a brave face and silently begged the gods for some protection before I assembled a makeshift camp for the two of us. It was, admittedly, very shitty, but it did its job of giving us some shelter for the night. I told him he could sleep and that I would keep watch, and so I did. I didn’t sleep very much back then, either, now that I think about it. I guess not a lot has changed about me… But I digress. I stayed up the whole night, sitting outside our little fort, listening to him snore and talk in his sleep. I don’t think I could have left his side if I wanted to, considering how petrified I was. But I powered through the fear, for his sake. I was so young, but I cared about this boy so much that I felt I owed it to him to make sure he was safe.”

“You were quite the hero, even back then,” Astarion says gently. “Is this little story your way of telling me to be more selfless?”

“Not at all. I’m getting to the point, I promise. I sat there for hours as I waited for it to become day again. Eventually, I was able to focus on the more beautiful parts of the night: the moon, the stars, the lightning bugs, the sweet whisper of the wind through the leaves. The more I searched for the good in my situation, the less scared I became, until I was no longer scared at all. By the time dawn rolled around, I was at peace, actually. I was so proud of myself for making it through the night, I immediately woke the boy up to share the moment with him. Then, we sat together, kind of like this,” You gesture to your and Astarion’s seating position, “and just watched the sunrise in perfect silence. I had never watched the sunrise before. It was so nice, getting to quietly enjoy such a wonderful view with someone I loved.”

As you finish your story, you face Astarion once more. His gaze is soft as he listens to you speak, and the tender curl of his lips betrays a sincere gratitude for having shared this with him.

“Did anything ever happen between you and that boy?” He asks.

“Sadly, no. He eventually fell for some other girl in town. Last I heard, they had three kids together.”

“Hmm.” Astarion angles his chin away from you. “Well, that’s his loss.”

You look away, too, and smile to yourself.

Suddenly, the sky begins to transform before your eyes. The first gleams of sunlight begin to caress the horizon as the moon takes its final bow behind you. The forest, still coated with all the glimmering remnants of morning dew, stirs from its slumber under the streams of the emerging sun. As the sun slowly rises, its warm embrace spreads like honey between the trees, flooding the forest floor with rays of pink and amber. Shafts of light pierce through the lush foliage, creating scintillating patterns on the surface of the water that seem to dance at the promise of a new day. Finally, when the sun peers at you from above the treetops, it’s as if the sky erupts. A burst of brilliance envelopes the world below it in its welcoming embrace, casting everything in a blazing golden light.

You begin to say something to Astarion but stop when you see his face. He looks positively radiant. His face glows in the daylight, appearing even more magnificent than he did in the moon’s silver beams. His face and his hair are colored by the sun, making him look more alive than he ever has before. Every detail from the strands in his eyebrows to the smallest of moles is illuminated before you. You watch as his eyes glisten before softly fluttering closed. He breathes deeply, his chest slowly rising and falling, and he basks in the sunlight. He relaxes completely, letting the sun’s rays melt away any and all tension he may have been holding on to.

You want nothing more than to cup his face in your hands, then, and feel the newly imbued warmth of his skin as you press your lips to his. Instead, however, you carefully place your hand on top of his. His eyes blink open and he turns to look at you once more. You hesitate for a moment, ready to move away, but he doesn’t reject you. His eyes crinkle with appreciation and he laces your fingers together before gently stroking his thumb against the side of your hand. His skin is still a bit cold, but thanks to you, it quickly warms up.

The two of you sit there in tranquility, taking in all of the sights, sounds, and feelings of the early morning. Time seems to slow, then, as if the universe itself also wishes to savor this serene moment for just a little while longer.

Soon, you hear the distant sound of casual conversation as the others awaken for yet another day of arduous traveling. You sigh, knowing that the two of you will have to return to camp shortly and leave all of this behind. You don’t want to let go just yet.

“We should probably get back,” Astarion says first. “I wouldn’t want the others to think that I killed you and scurried off or something like that.”

“Yeah, that wouldn’t be very good for morale,” you joke. After a moment, you reluctantly untwine your fingers and push yourself up off the rocks. You extend a hand to Astarion to help him up, which he graciously accepts.

Neither of you moves at first until Astarion takes a step toward you. Standing so close to you, you wonder if he’s about to kiss you when he gingerly takes hold of your hands. He gives you that sincere smile again.

“Thank you again for this. It was… nice.” You almost can’t believe how vulnerable he seems right now, eyes staring into yours with no hint of false pretenses. “I’d like to do this again with you, if you’ll join me.”

“I would love to.”

“Wonderful,” he says. He lets go of you. “Shall we then?”

The two of you take your time walking back to the campsite, talking idly about what the next few days have in store. When you arrive, Karlach is the first to notice you.

“There you two are! We were beginning to worry.” She looks between you both and crosses her arms, narrowing her eyes mischievously. “Anything we should know about your disappearance?”

You chuckle. “Nothing that would excite you, Karlach.”

You walk past her and approach your tent. The rest of your team is already getting to work cleaning their weapons, armor, and other equipment, preparing to hunt, or strategizing together. Before you duck inside to retrieve your clothes for washing, you turn back and lock eyes with Astarion. He’s entered a conversation between Shadowheart and Gale, but he isn’t all that engaged. He shoots you a knowing look and another small smile which you return in kind.

As you wash your clothes in the river just south of the camp, you think fondly of the promise you’ve now made with Astarion and the many sunrises to come. Suddenly, insomnia doesn’t seem so bad.

#astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion baldur's gate #baldur's gate #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 fic #astarion fic #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion x you #i want to give astarion so much love pls

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another-random-paradise · 6 months ago

Note

Hello! I noticed your account has open requests and I've been searching for a while to find some twst writers lol! I really hope you don't mind this request and I like your works :3

A request about Leona and/or Ruggie realizing that this “naive“ m!reader is actually the king of sunset savannah's entertainer/court jester (you know how kings hired court jesters to entertain them in parties or whatever, I haven't done much research). They can insult Falena and the guards wouldn't beat his ass (since it's literally part of his job) PLUS it pays REALLY GOOD. The beastmen just recently found out because of the reader saying a comment about the King, saying something like “His hair reminds me of a tomato.“ “King Tomato Furry (Falena) said that I'll get a raise lol“ just randomly and went back to work.

I HOPE IT MAKES SENSE PLEASE ��

A lovers Jest

Your brain is so big, anon. So very big, I love this request so much, you don't even know!! In Leonas part the M!reader is mentioned, but in Ruggies it isn't exactly mentioned, since i didn't want to unnecessarily cramp it in, I hope that's okay! Also Leona finds out during a festival, since i thought it would be funny- Also, I'm sorry this took so long, and thank you for the kind words!! Hope you enjoy :) There are way to many "Also's" in this Intro-

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Finding out their crush is the Royal Jester

Characters: Leona, Ruggie

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: None that i can think off

Leona

-How did he not know earlier about you being his brothers Jester? well, the man was to busy sleeping to partake in any of the royal festivities

-How you could be so seemingly naive was a mystery to him, it really stunned him at times, but nonetheless you seemed to grow on him, so, you two started to hang out often

-He liked how, behind the closed doors of his room, you're even willing to joke and make fun of his brother. Falena is usually held in high regards by citizens of Sunset Savanna, not that he really minded. That is definitely why you two started hanging out so much (definitely not because he is slowly developing a crush on you, nuh uh)

-He would tease, how, as the second prince, he could report you to his brother and the guards, because of your jokes, only to get a laugh in response for from you. Truly, how naive could you be to not take threats seriously? let alone make jokes so carelessly about the king?!

-Well, he was quick to find out, when he eventually was forced to go to a royal event! It's Chekas birthday, and the little man was very insistent about having his beloved uncle there! So, reluctantly, he went, no matter how little he wanted to. He did show up late though

-And when he did arrive, he almost immediately sees you. Well, the prince's birthday was commonly celebrated by the entire kingdom, he supposes it wasn't to weird you're here.. But why is there a crowd around you? and why are you standing so close to his brother?! And then, once he got a bit closer, he could finally hear what you were saying

-"Why, your majesty, King of tomatoes may just be a better fitting title for you!"

-Oh. Oh no no no no no- he just came to terms with having a crush on you, and now you practically throw yourself into prison?! He knows you're naive, but to openly insult the king?! Even as the second prince he won't be able to save you from prison!

-Leona is panicking to say the least, just as he is about to try and intervene and stop you from being thrown into prison for the rest of your live, he suddenly hears his brother..laugh? The guards stand in their place, a few people in the crowd giggling, as his brother and his sister-in-law are full on laughing.

-He just stands there shocked, till Falena finally notices him. "Leona! how nice of you to finally grace us with your presence! I believe you have yet to meet my Jester?" Jester?! It would explain the situation.. "No, we have met before.."

-respond to his intense stare with a smile, and suddenly he is looking away and blushing ever so slightly

-Suddenly your 'naivety' makes so much sense. You aren't naive, you just love your work so much, you continue to do it outside of working hours

-The rest of the night he spends silently observing you, while having to deal with chekas antics

-You best believe, that the next time you two hang out, he'll be confronting you, very much wanting to know why you didn't tell him- You probably thought he already knew, since, y'know, he's part of the royal family and all

-This, along with his crush on you, gave him a great Idea. As a second prince, he isn't required to marry a woman, since he doesn't need an heir.. So not only is he free to marry you, he would get to take his brothers favorite Jester from him. For once, he'd be the one to take something from his brother, instead of the other way around!

-Of course, that isn't the only reason he wants to marry you, dear reader, this lion is head over heels for you- he's just to stubborn to admit it :)

Ruggie

-You and Ruggie have probably already been close for a while, maybe you even have already gone on a date or two!

-And yet, he has yet to know what you do for work. But he does know that you make A LOT of money! He wouldn't just like you for the money, but if you're the kind of person to use at least a small amount to help those in need like himself by giving to charity, or paying for the meals he takes back home for the kids of the slum during the holidays, then that is a definitely one of the reason he fell for you

-He did notice how openly you insulted the King, and he can't say he minds, that man has so much money, and is supposed to take care of his kingdom, and yet there are still kids growing up the way he did.

-Nonetheless, he usually stops you when your 'naive' enough to Joke about the King in the open, he doesn't need you going to prison, you pay for so many of his meals! He is genuinely in love with you, but just like Leona, too stubborn to admit it

-Until one day, he once again stops you from Insulting the king in public and you reply with a simple "Why? King Tomato-head even said I'd get a raise for that Joke!"

-"Wait what? What do you mean by that??" - If you translated Ruggies expression into words

-"Oh yeah, I'm the Royal Jester! Did I never tell you that?" No, no you did not- but it does explain a lot to Ruggie, why, no matter how much you joked in the open, the guards never went after you, why you were willing to insult the king at all.. You weren't naive, you were just doing your job!

-...Do you think you could also get him a job as jester? He knows a court usually has more than one Jester, and apparently it pays well!.. But that would mean he would spent his holidays at the castle instead of with his grandma and the slum kids. Yeah, he'll leave the Jesting to you

-But suddenly, instead of stopping you from telling your jokes, he'll help you come up with them! He knows, that the funnier a Jester is, the more they'll get paid, and you best believe he's making sure you bring home that bag!!

-...Also, maybe if you have a holiday off, you'd be willing to come with him to the slums and perform for the kids? He can only imagine how exited they would be to see the performance of an actual jester.

-If you say yes, he'd literally be willing to marry you on the spot, he's already picking a venue

Tbh, not that proud of Leonas part, the words didn't wanna word- But I'm still pretty proud of myself nonetheless ngl

Also, two posts in one day, I feel so productive-

I hope you enjoyed! Feedback is welcomed, just be nice :)

Have a lovely day/night!

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst x reader #headcanons #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst headcanons #writing #leona kingsholar x reader #twst leona #leona kingscholar #leona x reader #twst ruggie #ruggie bucchi x reader #ruggie x reader #ruggie bucchi #x reader #paradise writing ✍🏻

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btsgotjams27 · 1 year ago

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things you don't know (2) | jjk

summary: the aftermath of jimin's party is weighing on your mind and you wonder if you have the courage to face jeon jungkook again.

✨ title: things you don't know (part 2) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: PG-13 ✨ genre/au: angst | ex best friends!au | ✨ word count: 3.8k ✨ warnings: pov switch, we get to find out what happened to reader's panties, jimin's a menace, but overall a good friend :'), minor language, reader loves to threaten her friends (in a loving way ofc), jk & reader talk (properly), not really a warning but a mint mojito is a iced coffee drink not alcohol lol ✨ a/n: hi??? we're back with these two :') I didn't think anyone would like the first part that I wrote bc it was so angsty! lol but I'm so happy it was well received. i hope this gives everyone some closure. also, i'm scared of this flopping bc so many people asked for another part. i was so close to not writing it, but alas here it is. as always, i'd love to hear your thoughts. don't be afraid to drop any questions or comments. gonna go hide now, byeeee!

✨ mini-series masterlist ✨

~ JK POV ~

A haze of darkness loomed in the early hours of the morning. The night sky should've been clear according to the weather icons on Jungkook's phone. Could it be that his eyes are deceiving him? Were they hazy and cloudy? If he rubbed them, would the sky finally be clear? Or maybe you have blurred his vision, distorted his mind.

As if you weren’t already on his mind 24/7, 365 days for the last seven years. Your prodigal return has made him want to be close to you again, see how you were doing, and see if you had somehow found a way to forgive him. Your appearance at tonight’s party confirmed you must’ve hated him and could never find it in your heart to forgive him. At least, that’s what he thought.

On his late-night drive after dropping off Josie, he went the long way home through the city streets. He ended up at the park where you used to stargaze when you needed to clear your mind, and it was one of those nights for him.

You had taken over every fiber of his being, capturing his heart and holding him hostage. You’ve haunted him every day of his life since you left. At least when the two of you were in school, he could see you in class and the hallways, but once you left, there was no way to keep track of you, that is, until you started posting your college adventures on Instagram. He’d see your stories and how you’d come home to visit your parents and old friends, but of course, you wouldn’t see him. Why would you? He hurt you.

He replays tonight’s events—studying every word, every facial expression, your body language. He’s looking for a way to make it right, a way back into your heart. He doesn’t like it when you’re hurting, doesn’t like it when you’re mad at him, and especially doesn’t like it when you hate him.

He wished he could redo the last seven years and the moment when he decided to kiss Josie. He should've just left Jimin’s and come to yours, confessed his feelings, said how much he’d missed you, maybe even been brave enough to ask if he should go with you to college. Maybe he could’ve saved a lot of heartache for you, himself, and even Josie.

He took a deep breath, exhaling the unease lingering throughout his body. Opening his eyes, he realized the sky finally cleared out. He tucked one hand behind his head, and with the other, his finger traced constellations into the shape of animals—a little game you used to play together.

Thoughts raced through his mind: Do you still have a love for stargazing? Did you find a new spot? Did you have someone to accompany you? Or did you go by yourself? He guessed he’d never find out the answers to his questions.

“You’re coming in late. Or early. Were you with Josie?” Jimin’s sitting at the dining table, sipping on his coffee.

Jungkook shook his head. “Just out.”

“Man, it was good to see ____, right? I haven’t seen her since we graduated. Did you catch up with her?” He shifted in his seat, his foot pushing against the table’s leg, causing his chair to lean back. He licked his lips, suppressing a smile.

“Kind of.” Jungkook shrugged.

The chair made a loud thump when Jimin leaned forward. He set his coffee aside, his eyes narrowed, hands folded. “What happened between you guys, anyway? You were so close in high school, and whenever I ask you, you always change the topic.”

Jungkook looked at his friend, hoping he’d get the drift and move on from this conversation. He wasn’t keen on being bombarded with questions this early in the morning. He pulled out a chair, the legs screeching against the floor as he buried his face in his arms on the table.

“Or you quiet down whenever I bring her up. Well, whatever happened, you should just make out—I mean makeup with her since she’s back,” Jimin suggested, grinning at his mistake.

Jungkook looked up. “I don’t think she wants to see me.”

“See her anyway.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows.

“What? You’ll either sit here and keep wondering what could’ve been, or you can talk to her like an adult and hash things out—get everything out in the open.”

“I hurt her, Jimin.”

“So? Go and apologize.”

“I don’t think she’ll accept it.”

“It’ll be up to her to decide, but at least she’ll hear it from you.” Jimin sipped his coffee again. “And don’t think I haven’t seen you lurking on her Instagram throughout these years.” He shook his head and chuckled. “Your Instagram handle is the alphabet without ‘JK’ in it—so obvious.”

Jungkook's eyes widened. He thought he was careful all these years, hardly posting anything but random food dishes he’s cooked.

Jimin let out a hearty laugh. “Oh—you thought you were slick, huh? I’m quite the detective myself, Jeon.” Jimin pushed his chair out to stand, massaging his friend’s shoulder, shaking his head at him. “It’s time, my friend. Don’t let the past continue to haunt you.”

He lightly tapped his fingers on the table, debating his next move. He knew he had to break things off with Josie once and for all. No more letting her hover, giving into her, or letting her manipulate him. He let her have too many years of him–it was finally time to cut off the head of the snake.

~ reader pov ~

The early morning sun peeked through your curtains, beaming rays of light reflecting off of your mirror, making you sneak a glimpse of the time on your phone.

7:30 AM. It’s too early for anyone to function like an average person.

Propping yourself against your pillows, you begin scrolling through Instagram. You were tagged in one of Jimin’s photos.

The caption read: Look who’s back.

You were tipsy when the photo was taken. You had let Jimin wrap his arm around you, kissing your cheek, as you made a kissy face at Lana, who snapped the picture.

You looked at the amount of likes and comments. Jimin was still popular after high school. Your finger tapped on ‘view all 90 comments’, and then you realized it was just Jimin and Josie arguing back and forth in the comments about you.

Rolling your eyes, you were ready to exit the app, but then you couldn’t help but notice the username of ‘abcdefghi_lmnopqrstuvwxyz’ in the comment section, also telling Josie to ‘stop.’ You recognized the username because they liked a few of your posts and had seen your stories but never interacted.

You never bothered to look at everyone who followed you, but this username was too creative not to have a look.

When you clicked on the username, their profile picture was a sunset; their bio only had an emoji of a cookie and photos of food dishes. You guessed this person was an aspiring chef. Everything they posted looked scrumptious.

A series of knocks on your door interrupted your train of thought. It’s so early. Who could be here at this hour?

You peered through the peephole, your hand ready to unlock it, until you saw it was none other than Lana. There was a burning feeling in your chest, and your jaw clenched as you debated whether you wanted to let her in. She claimed not to know who Jimin’s roommates were, and you so happened to come to the party where Jeon Jungkook lived? Coincidence? Yeah, right.

“I can hear you breathing on the other side of the door,” she said, moving back to show you she had brought coffee from one of your favorite places.

You unlocked the door knob but left the chain lock intact. Opening the door, you peeked through, staring at the coffee in her hand.

“Leave the coffee, and I shall let you live to see another day.”

Lana rolled her eyes. “I know what you’re thinking–I set you up, but I swear on my mother’s grave that I did not know Jimin and Jungkook were living together.”

You tilted your head and crossed your arms. “You are correct. I believe you set me up, and I won’t be forgiving you.”

Lana sighed, digging through her bag. “I have something else for you too.” She pulled out the very thing you were looking for last night–your blush-pink panties.

You reach out to grab them, but she withdraws, clutching them in her hand. “I did you a favor by swiping them, washing them, and getting your favorite coffee. You’re still not going to open the door for me?”

You huffed, closing the door and unlocking the chain. Crossing your arms, you stood in the way, unwilling to let her in.

She showed off her biggest grin, holding up the tray of coffee and your panties.

You grabbed the coffee before grabbing your panties, leaving the door open if she willingly wanted this to be her last day on earth.

Lana follows you, closing the door and plopping beside you on the couch.

“Anything else you need to get off your chest before you breathe your last breath?” you ask before sipping the mint mojito iced coffee. You forgot how much you loved this drink.

“Yeah. How did the conversation with Jungkook go?”

“I swear to god, you’re addicted to drama.”

“As long as it doesn’t involve me, then I’m all ears,” she beamed from ear to ear, sipping her coffee. “And I also want to make sure you’re okay.” She elbows you before laying her head on your shoulder.

You couldn’t be upset with Lana. You knew she just wanted you to heal from what happened with Jungkook.

Last night felt like a fever dream, bumping into Jungkook. He sprang up on you with no warning. You had no time to prepare yourself—your heart, for what you’d say.

It’s like you had traveled back to that 18-year-old girl watching her best friend repeatedly hurt her. The scene replayed in your mind like an endless film reel–Jungkook and Josie holding hands, finding a letter in your locker, tearfully reading it in your room, and realizing you didn’t have a friend anymore after that day.

“So?”

“He blames me for everything that happened.”

Lana’s eyes widened, and jaw dropped. She put down her coffee, got up, and pulled her hair back. “You better hold me down before I beat his ass.”

You dragged her back beside you. “Stop being so dramatic.”

“How was it your fault?”

“He said he was upset that I was leaving for college and didn’t care to include him in the conversation. Then he went to one of Jimin's parties and kissed Josie, and they started dating.”

Lana’s upper lip raised in annoyance, glancing up at the ceiling. “I'm gonna punch him and his little girlfriend in the face the next time I see them.”

“And apparently, he says they’re not together or whatever.”

She gasped in disbelief. “Not together? She was practically all over him! And he was letting her do it!”

“That’s what I said, but he says it's complicated.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“What am I going to do? Nothing? Absolutely nothing. Avoid them like the plague. What else am I supposed to do?”

“What if he comes looking for you?”

The thought crossed your mind, but you had nothing to say to him. What more did he want from you? Since he blamed you, it’s not like he’d come asking for forgiveness.

“I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t have moved back.”

“Stop. I'm so happy you’re back. This place is so fucking lame without you.” Lana curled herself into your couch, hooking her arm in yours.

“Yeah, I didn’t think I had to endure all this drama with Jungkook the week I returned.”

“Maybe you should just talk to him and clear the air once and for all,” Lana suggested.

“I don’t know if I can do that without strangling him.”

“I’ll bail you out of jail, don’t worry, or I can help you. We can be cellmates.”

You loved how at least one of your best friends would go to such lengths for you. “God–I don’t wanna be an adult. I don’t want to talk to him.”

“I know, but I bet you’ll feel a million times better if you do.”

You didn’t want to hear the truth but you knew it was what you needed to do. You and Jungkook had unfinished business. Maybe it’s better to just talk to him and close that chapter of your life and finally be able to move on.

You Jiminie 🦗

JAMAN Oh, are you sliding into my DMs?

You 🙄 In your dreams

JAMAN 😂 I’m kidding. What’s up?

You Can I ask you for a favor?

JAMAN Anything for you

You Can I get Jungkook’s number?

JAMAN Huhuhu…the plot thickens

You Oh, stop it. Will you give it to me or not?

JAMAN Idk it depends.

You On?

JAMAN If I get to see more of you

You Jiminie…

JAMAN 😞😞

You You saw me once, that’s not good enough?

JAMAN Let me take you out to dinner. I want to catch up with you.

You Then I’ll never have to see you again? 🙂

JAMAN Sure…

You Fine fine fine Give me his number

You waited a few days to call Jungkook in case Jimin told him he gave you his number. You didn’t want to seem desperate; at least, it would be at your discretion. You’d be more prepared with your heart and your mind.

You sat there, staring at his name, tapping on the screen, and before you knew it, the line began ringing. Ah, fuck.

There’s no going back now.

Hello?

“Hey, Kook. It’s ___.” You can hear him shifting through the line.

Oh, hey. Jungkook cleared his throat. What’s up?

“I wanted to see if you’d be up for coffee or something. If you’re not busy, that is.”

Like today?

You hummed.

Just tell me where and what time.

“Philz Coffee at 2?”

Yeah! I’ll see you then.

You quickly ended the call. Well, the easy part was done. Now, onto the rest.

Even for a Thursday afternoon, the street where the coffee shop was located was rather crowded. You blamed the increased remote jobs and everyone flocking to work from there instead of their homes.

Walking toward the shop, you looked up to see Jungkook sitting outside with two coffees on the table.

He gave a small wave and stood when you approached him. “Hey!” His voice was enthusiastic as he flashed a warm smile, dimple on display. Jungkook gestured for you to sit.

“Do you still like mint mojito iced coffees?”

You chuckled to yourself. You didn’t think he would still remember your coffee order. “Yeah, I do.”

“Cool, figured you still did.”

You gave a half-smile.

Jungkook leaned forward in his seat, eyes on you. “So, why did you want to meet up?”

Your lips thinned before you cleared your throat. “I guess we have some unfinished business.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

You sighed, pulling yourself together to turn to him, looking him in the eye finally. Never in a million years did you think you would be sitting here, talking. His doe eyes sparkled, his boyish charm lingered, and that sweet smile made you swoon.

“I’m gonna say my piece, and then if you have anything to add, go for it.”

He nodded, listening intently to your following words.

Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath. “When you stopped talking to me—it hurt, fucked me up for a long time. I convinced myself for years I was over it, but that wasn’t the case at Jimin’s.”

It felt weird to finally say everything that had been building up aloud in front of him.

“It was hard going through college without you. I couldn't talk to you when I wanted, come over when I was bored, and experience new things with you. It was like this big piece of my life was missing, and no one could fill it. Sometimes, a song would come on shuffle that reminded me of you; then I'd get sad because I didn't know your new favorite songs or if you had seen the new Marvel movie.”

Most of all, you missed his presence and how he’d light up when he was excited to show you something or how he’d put a smile on your face when you were down.

“You were my best friend, Kook. I shared everything with you. So it hurt when you felt like you couldn’t talk to me. I would’ve understood if you couldn’t be friends with me because of Josie—I mean, it would’ve sucked big time, but I would never want you to feel like you can’t be honest with me.”

Jungkook stayed quiet for a bit before responding. “I’m sorry about what happened. I was hurting too, and I guess I wanted you to hurt too.”

“Well, it worked.” You let out a sad chuckle; your hand began playing nervously with the coffee cup before you.

He looks at you, scanning your face. “This might not mean anything now, but I know you. I know what songs you like, movies you watched, what made you sad and happy.”

Your gaze slowly flicked to his, your eyebrows knitted in confusion.

“I don’t want to sound like a creep or anything, but I’ve been following you on Instagram.”

“You have an Instagram account?”

“Uh, yeah. I just don’t post my face or anything.” He pulled out his phone to show you.

Your jaw dropped. “Oh my god. You’re alphabet boy?”

“Alphabet boy?” Jungkook’s forehead furrowed.

As soon as he said that, you began to piece everything together. So he was on social media. He was just good at hiding it.

“So, you’ve been keeping up with everything I’ve been doing?”

“You were my best friend. I missed you and wanted to know what your life was like.”

You didn’t know how to process this information. You had been lurking on Instagram, trying to get a glimpse of Jungkook, but after all these years, he was trying to keep a part of you with him.

“Just because you’ve liked my posts or watched my stories doesn’t mean you know me.”

He nodded in agreement. “You’re right. I don’t, but I would like to get to know you again.”

“What about Josie? What is she going to think?” You didn’t want to get in the way of whatever they had going on.

“I’ve tried breaking up with her multiple times, and she keeps on coming back, and I’m pretty dumb for letting her back in. I think we’ve just gotten into that rhythm where we’ve been comfortable with each other that it’s hard to let it go, you know?”

You chuckled to yourself. He was never really good at speaking up, was he?

He looks at you. “Do you think we can start over?”

You take a deep breath. “I don’t know. I—I don’t think I can lose you as a friend again.”

“You won’t,” he responded immediately.

You liked how sure he was of himself. That nothing or no one could get in the way of a new friendship again. But with Josie still in the picture, you didn’t think it would be as easy as he was making it seem.

A car drives by, music playing loudly from their speakers. It stopped the conversation, giving you time to think.

A part of you would love to be friends again, and the other part was ready to let go and start fresh. You weren’t the same person you were in high school. You had grown up, lived, and loved a little, and after finally getting to speak everything you’ve held onto—you were ready to close that chapter you had kept open for so long.

Jungkook waved his hand, calling out to you.

“Hmm?”

“What happens now?”

You shrugged, and your mouth twisted to the side. “I don’t know, Kook. How about we just take it one day at a time? And I don’t mean like we talk every day or something, but if we see each other, we’ll be able to say ‘hi.’”

Jungkook nodded. “Baby steps.”

“Right. Baby steps.”

“I can do that.”

JAMAN Dinner. Friday. 6 PM.

You Why, hello, Jimin.

JAMAN Right, hi. Dinner. Friday. 6 PM. Be there.

You You didn’t tell me where.

JAMAN My place.

You Is Jungkook going to be there?

JAMAN No, he’s outta town. Going somewhere with Josie.

You tut. Of course, he hasn’t broken it off with Josie. Why would he? No one changes within a week, right?

You Okay, fine. See you on Friday. Can I bring anything?

JAMAN Just yourself 😘

Friday.

JAMAN Hey, I’m running late from work. But make yourself at home! I’m going to grab some food on the way back, too.

You Am I supposed to break in?

JAMAN Oh, you silly girl. The code is 0613.

You ‘Kay, see you soon.

You couldn’t believe you agreed to come to Jimin’s place for dinner. Meeting up somewhere would’ve been safer if you bumped into Jungkook again. But you two did decide to take baby steps.

Keying in the code, you stepped in, eyes wandering around the house. Surprisingly, it was well-kept. No throw pillow or blanket is out of place. All the coasters were neatly lined up. Even the house plants were flourishing.

You closed the door, then heard a shatter of glass hitting the ground along with a ‘fuck’. You didn’t see any cars outside when you arrived. Maybe Jimin was dropped off.

“Hello? Jimin?”

You walked into the kitchen, peering around the corner, and saw someone’s head bobbing up and down.

“Kook?”

He looked up with doe eyes, and his jaw opened. “Oh—hey.”

“What are you doing here?”

Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows. “I live here,” he said slowly, sweeping the glass in a dustpan.

“Yes, I know that. But where’s Jimin?”

“Jimin’s at work. He asked me to make dinner.”

You huffed, throwing your head back. “Did you plan this?”

“Plan what?”

“This. Us. Dinner.”

“What? No. I didn’t know you were coming over.”

Your phone buzzed in your back pocket.

JAMAN Oh, hey, friend. I can’t make it to dinner. Guess you’ll just have to eat with Kook. 😘😘

You I’M GONNA BLOCK YOU PARK JIMIN

JAMAN 😘 I love you.

“I’m—just going to go. See you later, Kook,” you said, turning around to leave.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. Bye, Kook.”

“Why don’t you stay? I already made dinner and don’t want it to go to waste.”

You stopped in your tracks. Whatever he made smelled good.

He set down the dustpan and walked over to you. “Come on. It’s just dinner.”

You turned back to him, scanning him from head to toe. Why did he have to look so boyfriend in his all-black outfit and matching baseball hat?

You pointed your chin to the ground, staring at him. “Just dinner.”

✨ read part three ✨

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook fic #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts x reader #bts x you

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hazbinpage · 9 months ago

Text

Lucifer x Reader HCs

(In which your relationship is romantic and you both live in the hotel.)

WC is 1741

(A/N: I love Lucifer so much. What a man. That being said, he's probably really OOC in this: we've only seen his character in a select few situations, none of which demonstrate how he treats his romantic partner or bonds with people he doesn't know, and I haven't read enough fics about him to decide what I like. Additionally, I'm not the best at writing romance at this point, so hopefully nothing is too off lol! With the disclaimers out of the way, please enjoy and lmk what you think! :))

-He isn't very fond of sinners, and while his perspective on them has changed since joining the hotel, his opinion certainly hasn't flipped 180 degrees. How could it have? Good deeds never made the news in Hell, and the dead he was forced to interact with were powerful. Powerful sinners were never innocent; no one becomes an overlord by accident. Centuries upon centuries of talking to the powerful, witnessing only violence and hatred, will not be undone by a single moment of comradery in war — a battle where he couldn't know if the sinners were acting solely in their own self-interest.

-This is why, when you first arrive at the hotel, he's fairly aloof. He'll be polite, of course; he has no reason not to be (especially while lowkey still trying to win over his daughter), but will hold himself distant.

-Despite this, he admits you're kinda cute....

-You don't see him often, which doesn't help with his distance — he isn't used to being around so many people, and while he's pretty charismatic and extroverted, he's also still depressed and has a habit of self-isolating when he's going through it (which is often). He only really comes out for his daughter's sake.

-To get to know him faster than his changing perspective and mental challenges would otherwise allow, you could: one, approach him directly! Be friendly, open, and interested in his hobbies. This only works if you do the same for the others, though. If you don't, he might see your advances as manipulation. Two, you could develop a relationship with Charlie. Support her, believe in her cause, and have her back. He'll see you helping his daughter and will want to understand you further. Three, you could talk about ducks. That'll get him. He'll approach you eventually and strike up a conversation.

-If you don't do any of these things, that's fine; he'll just get to know you at the same pace that he gets to know the others. He'll slowly open up to the idea that not all sinners are violent psychopaths, become more comfortable with the rest of the crew, and realize how well he connects with you over a period of several months.

- Lucifer catches feelings pretty fast once you start hanging out for real. He's enamored with you: not only are you cute as fuck, but his daughter loves you, and you're the nicest sinner he's ever met (while kindest of the damned is not a hard-earned title, it's one he appreciates nonetheless).

-Once he realizes he's caught feelings, he'll ask Charlie for permission to ask you out. He doesn't want to pursue you if she isn't comfortable with it; she's already got familial issues, and he doesn't want a sudden shift in the family dynamic to hurt her further. If she says yes (which, if she likes you, she probably will), he'll ask you out to dinner.

-Prepare for the first date to be really awkward. Even if you've known him for a while at this point, he's incredibly nervous — he hasn't done anything romantic in a good while, and the last time he tried a relationship, it didn't work out. The whole time, he's fumbling over his words and cringing at himself, saying things he doesn't mean to while trying to be suave. When he escorts you back home after a very bumpy evening, he'll be downtrodden. He messed things up, just as he knew he would, and now you probably hate him; thoughts of self-loathing and regret swirl in his mind until you say you'll pay him back next time (he blinks up at you owlishly. "Next time? Like...another date?" You confirm his thoughts. "Oh--- oh! Yes, absolutely! I mean, no, no need to pay me back; of course not, but next time sounds good! How does this Saturday at 3 sound?").

-A couple of dates in, and he's feeling more confident, which reflects in his now far more self-assured demeanor and smooth language. He's a silver-tongued devil, after all, and he has to live up to his name.

-If all goes well, after about a month, he realizes he wants you to be his partner. He, once again, gets Charlie's permission and brainstorms with some of your friends about how to pop the question. Initially, he wants to impress you, pulling out the big guns and whisking you off your feet on the balcony of a lavish black-tie restaurant rented for just the two of you. After some discussion among your peers and deliberation of his own, though, he decides to do something else. He invites you to his tower, where he's prepared a handmade dinner with candles and soft music in the background. The food isn't particularly good (he can't cook very well and enlisted Vaggie and Nifty's help to make his dish edible), and the smoke from the candles stopped being pleasant about a half an hour in, but regardless, you both have a wonderful time, laughing about his lack of culinary skills and the excessively warm room. He asks if you would like to be his lover at the end of the evening, nervous but somehow also self-assured, and is overjoyed when you say yes. The next day, he parades you around the hotel, bragging that you said yes and talking about you to anyone who'd listen.

-If he wasn't big on physical affection before he got so lonely, he is now. While his hands might not constantly be on you, they've come close to that, especially if he's going through a hard time. Expect lots of hand-holding, arm-looping, cuddling, and kissing. He likes resting his head on yours (or your shoulder, depending on how tall you are) while he wraps his arms around you (or the reverse — he loves being cradled), you both sitting together on the couch. He also has a habit of rubbing his thumb in circles over the back of your hand while holding it.

-Smother his face with kisses, his cartoony heart-eyes expression will look a tenth lovestruck as he feels.

-You receive frequent duck memes, duck-themed gifts, and duck dissertations. He doesn't go around parading his interest, but if he trusts you, he can't keep himself from wanting to share everything about his hyperfixation. He's concerned about being annoying, though, and while you could try to curb his insecurity by telling him he's not, the best reassurance is to match his energy: talk about your own obsessions and be just as weird about them as he is. Not only does he feel better about himself, but he gets to talk with you for extended periods of time, your eyes alight and grin large. He'll probably try to get into whatever you talk about, wanting to connect with you further.

-He likes giving you gifts in general. Especially those that show you're in a relationship with him, like wearable apple or goat paraphernalia. While he does enjoy gift-giving for its own sake, he's insecure and doesn't want anyone to think they can cross him by taking you. If you give him anything duck-themed, handmade, or (heavens help him) both, especially without reason? He will melt. He loves it; he can feel the thought and effort you put in for him and feels known and loved.

- He’s kinda clingy; he likes being around you as often as possible and gets nervous if you're gone too long; if you leave for more than a day, he's like a koala when you return. It's comforting to him to know where you are, but it’s even more comforting when you tell him how much you love him before you go. His self-esteem isn't at a record low, but it certainly isn't high, and he has huge abandonment issues. Every once in a while, because of this, he'll grow distant; his thoughts of being undeserving or theories about how you're going to leave him become too much, and he semi-subconsciously pulls away to protect himself. Be patient with him during these times; show him how much you care and how you would never leave. Tell him you love him as he is. The first time you say so, he'll cry in your arms and snuggle you for hours.

-He'll become less clingy and insecure as your relationship goes on, but will always rather be with you than alone.

- He's majorly protective. He knows what it's like in Hell, and he knows that by dating you, he's put a target on your back, which only adds to your lack of safety. He will pull all the strings he has in order to keep you safe, whether that means accompanying you when you're out and about, actively keeping you away from overlords, or tracking your phone without your knowledge. He feels bad about some of his less savory means of protection, but not bad enough to stop. The thought of your death haunts him too much to let you be.

-Similarly, though he won't ever admit it, your redemption keeps him up at night. If you're redeemed and go up to heaven, he can't see you anymore — maybe ever. He knows you want to better yourself and tries his best to support you in your improvement, but sometimes his fear gets to be too much. In those moments, he has to spend some time alone before he tries to sabotage your progress in any way — any more than he already has.

-It's hard to tell what his love language is because he uses all of them. He wants to spend time with you (though he will give you a break if you need one; he understands needing to be alone, even if it makes him nervous), give you gifts, be touchy, do things for you, and tell you how wonderful he thinks you are. He wants you to know just how much he cares in every way he can and will be receptive to any form of love in return.

-He doesn't use as many pet names as some of the rest of the cast would, but he does use them! He likes calling you sweetheart and angel-eyes the most.

-Overall, he has a lot of insecurities and mental health problems to work through, but tries his best to be the best partner he can be for you. It's hard work to improve himself, but if you'll have him, he'll stay by your side forever.

#hazbin hotel #lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #my writing #my hcs #lucifer/reader #reader is a sinner

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hummingbird-games · 11 months ago

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2023 In Review (Indie Games)

Last year's! | 2021

I apologize in advance for how long this might be. As a reminder, I don't bash games here so even if I hated something with every fiber of my being...I ain't sharing. As a second reminder, my more in depth reviews and live blogging has moved to Gem's Game Gems so I don't clutter the HBG's main blog. Okay. ON WITH THE REVIEW!!

DEMOS

Diffraction (Demo)- A rainy day otome indeed. I love the quiet gentleness of this game, the two romance options, and the fact that our MC is a photographer and struggling with her art and stack of life "failures" (because...SAME!!)

Alaris - I was asleep and now I am awake: I came late for the advertised fae and dragon lore, stayed seated and waiting for Fenir zjgjdf. Oh, and I guess the mystery surrounding our MC's abilities LOL.

The Summit Library - When I say I was maaaaaad when I realized I blew through chapter 1 and would have to go back to waiting for more content??? LOL, I was very miffed. Anyhoo, check out this title for the gorgeous art, another intriguing mystery (like what is *up* with the magic in the poor library?? who or what is to blame?? 👀) and of course the lovely characters we've been introduced to thus far.

Of Sense and Soul - I'm a regency romance girl. Like after you strip away the other stuff, I am but a poor woman with simple needs: a good ass love story 🤧💛 It's about the yearning and the slow burn and the will they/won't they/PLEASEEE they...I've never been so charmed by a demo, and the full game is going to be amazing I just know it!

Made Marion - This project is a game I've been keeping tabs on for a hot minute but hadn't taken the time to sit and properly enjoy the demo. I'M SO GLAD I DID!!! It's in early access now, so I'm hoping eventually I'll be able to carve out some time to play, but guysss Velvet Cupcake is doing the Thing?!? No idea which love interest I'll go for first, but I had a fun time meeting the Nottingham peeps in the demo.

Herotome (Super Demo) - Oh gosh. Oh gosh oh gosh oh my GOSHHH. Where do I even began?? (Really the question is where the hell do I end because this is one of those projects I talk about a lot/think about a lot and surprisingly haven't run out of things to say zkjfksjd). Another game I've been following for a while, it 100% lives up to the superhero genre in its aesthetic, the characters you interact with, the music and sound design, and of course the slowly unfurling story. Jade and Mia had come out as my top faves, Warden is still there, like hovering in the backgroud, shhhh but I have a special place in my heart for Griffin too (that conversation we have with her?? I have so many screenshots just so I can go back and reread and sear the words in my brain. Like a weirdo. Yup.)

Celestial Crowns - Stats building, celestial royalty, dating sim where you fuck around and find out your choices directly affect your MC's personality?? I'm sat. I supported the Kickstarter and now I try to practice patience for the full game's release siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighh.

OTOME/JOSEI JAM

Please note this is a SUPER abridged list for my sanity and I fell a little more in love with these 2 jams with each entry I played...

Intertwine - As embarrassing as it sounds, I've never given much thought to the "red string" thing, and I consume more than enough romance media LOL!! But Van is suuuuuch a beautiful man, the UI for this game is so interactive and lovely, the music is ALSO lovely, just lovely-love all the way around teehee. (Also this game encourages replayabillity so like, do with that info what you will.)

Spring Boy [Demo] - I believe this game is going through a complete rehaul, so my thoughts and feelings refer to the original jam entry I played. The art is bright and cute and it's a super super short demo, but I was intrigued by the other student we meet on our mission to plead with our professor about our bombed exam lol!

Assignment Due: Project Blue - IRl group projects??? Suck absolute ass. Group projects with a guy name Asher?? Suddenly it's my new favorite thing in the world 😁

Cryptid Campaign Manager [DEMO] - Remember the last time I looked over a cryptid dating sim??? Remember how I was SUCH a fool?? Good thing I didn't make that mistake again!! The prologue is such a tease but you get an idea of what the full game is gonna be like, and I'm excited to see where my career involving love (and politics) goes!

Heart Cage [Demo] - Yoooooo I stay my ass far far far away from yanderes (could never get into the trope or the character type). WELP. Guess I just needed to keep searching because I really downloaded this off a whim--well, the whim being one of my fellow dev peers playing and rating-- and proceeded to get sucked in 🤧I thought being a detective would be the highlight, but I guuuueeesssss I was more into the romance options than I thought. Oops.

Evernight - I tried to explain what this game meant to me on the side blog, but words failed me. I still don't know what to say other than I loved it?? Which is like ummm I say I love everything, and yeah I'm easy to please BUT Y'ALLLLLL if you play no other game, play this one. Please. Date a werewolf. Or a vampire. Or a fae. Plz. Also figuring out the mystery of your MC's abilities and past is just delightful, ugh.

Bright Oak (demo) - Anotha one I wrote about on the side blog!!! Play this one!!! The writing is lush and atmospheric and the characters are all delightful and it's another game with a mystery to untangle!

The Faithfulness of the Universe- This one gets the award for most unique all around entry that I played. Theeeeee prettiest pixel art to bless my eyeballs, and this tasty mystery concerning Fate and witch Faustina's future (or lack thereof 👀) and what it all means. As a player I very much want to know what it all means!

A Cup For All Seasons - Another game that needs its flowers y'all. It's short but super healing and super cozy and the voice acting and music really tie the gaming experience together???

The Working Woman's Guide to Burning Bridges - DEMO - It's the way I played the demo twice and I've been thinking about it ever since 😭😭😭🙃 obviously life happens and things come up, plus this was a demo. But. BUT!!! I am on my hands and knees prayinnggg the team gets together again to finish the game. I love playing as a stressed, lowkey bitter hot mess who doesn't have her life together 😂somehow the fictional version is soooo much more entertaining!!!

Keyframes (Spring Demo) - After the game College Craze, this is legit THE college, slice of life visual novel of my dreams. I cannot wait for the updated demo next year, and the Kickstarter whenever that rolls around. And now that the developer is on Tumblr, I've definitely been stalking the account and reading each new post like it's my day/night/weekend job 🤧

Hello Counsel 💋 - Okay I take it back, Evernight is like a 20/10 but Hello Counsel is like an 100/10 👁️👄👁️ This game is necessary for my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health, alright? The banter ✅ the character designs ✅ the music ✅ the sizzling chemistry between Poise and Salem ✅ I wish this game had more buzz because IT'S SO GOOD!!! (also the dev, Miseri, is who I wanna be when I grow up. I've made it through almost their whole backlog of games and there are no misses and EVERY game is different from the rest and it makes it hard for a toodler dev--ME--to cope LOL)

Candied Hearts - Isekaied into a candy themed game?? Sign me TF UP!!! (Peppermint I love you dearly, you must understand.)

Fully Released & Played (at least 1 playthrough)

The Knight's Dilemma - I don't even know how I originally stumbled upon this??? I just know it had been in my backlog for a hot minute and I was intrigued enough to save it way back when. Y'ALL WHY DIDN'T I PLAY SOONER SKJFHFJFH! There's a couple different endings, I loved the voice direction, AND it's such a simple concept of a game that was just executed beautifully.

Trouble Comes Twice - If I had to make a top 5 list of romance VNs, guess who makes the list?? Guess. Guess guess guess. Have you guessed yet??? LOL! I have been in love with TCT since it's development days and with each passing month, waiting in anticipation, playing the Pateron beta builds, screaming on the main blog about every single thought I had about Jace and Hazel (shoutout to Jace for helping me figure out *me*) Lol if you're curious about said thoughts, those posts are on this blog and not the side blog.

Aelfric the Wondrous - 10/10 would love to forget my first play through JUST to have that experience fresh again 😭😭💛Cute and funny and a wonderful parody type game all around.

A Summer's End - Hong Kong 1986 - Goodness, there's no excuse for why this took me years to finish but anyhoo, I finished, I loved it, I recommend it! It's romantic and achingly authentic and the art is soooo gorgeous I literally can't stand it 😭

The Things You Do For Love - Unhinged yandere manages to entertain and garner sympathy and laughter from Gemini. And that poly ending is chef's kiss too????

Band Camp Boyfriend - There are a handful of games I found and loved before I began my game development journey, and this is one of them. BCB is so dear to me, because of the story and characters but also because of the Dynamic Duo creators and their team behind the scenes. I was never a band kid I was a chorus kid but just as the band geeks loved this game to pieces, us normal folks do too!! Even the boys who I didn't like I STILL managed to find joy in playing their routes (still have a few more to finish at the time of this posting lol, GOTTA GET THE FINAL ROUTE YO). Anyway, this game more than delivered for me and I hope more people keep discovering it!!

Belle Automata: Chronicle I [RELEASED] - While only Chronicle 1 is out at the time of this posting, I already know that the 2nd and 3rd parts are going to be just as amazing???? I wrote about this one on the side blog, so here's my copypaste that still rings true:

I love TNP (The Nightmare Prince) but Victor’s route hit the sweet spot for me. Maybe it’s the slow(er) burn nature of this route, maybe it’s the reserved nature of Victor and watching him slowly start to care (AND NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THOSE FEELINGS TEEHEE) for me.

A Date with Death - I wrote about this on the side blog--again--. The demo. And then right after finishing a route. And then again where I was fully awake and still managed to sound deranged. No copypaste for that, I shall be nice. But yeah!! Another game where I was screaming at the sky about how much I love it and how I'll never know peace as long as I live.

Our Life: Baxter DLC - I need to offer an official apology to both Cove and Derek because falling head over heels, down the stairs, crashing into the parking lot, falling again but down a manhole for Baxter's infuriating ass was NOT on my 2023 bingo board??? HELLO???? I bought his DLC just to complete my OL collection. Was not expecting to love it this much. Was not expecting to be called to write fanfic and abandon all responsibilities to do this. WHILE DOWN WITH COVID TOO. Allow me to play the song of my people. *Send in the Clowns plays*

Our Cinderella - (this is so funny I'm taking about a side game before the main game LOLOLOLOL) Guys. Guysss. You guyyyysss 🥹if you're looking for a cozy, hilarious, equally oddly and wonderfully sweet short game, this is the one!! You may have your personal favorite Iggy ship (like me) but all the pairings are so amazing and just make sense lol!

Wylde Flowers - This is the only non visual novel game on here but it gets the spotlight because I did NOT spend 90+ hours on this game to gatekeep this beauty. No. It the coziest, the funniest, the funnest, the most addictive Switch game (after Teacup) I've ever played.

Fully Released (& still on 1st playthrough)

Garden of Seif: Chronicles of an Assassin - Life kicked my butt and then sat on me SO while I finally got my grubby hands on the full copy, I still have only played the entirety of the demo. But. We will return to this in 2024 and hopefully I'll have a full review for the next wrap up!

Our Wonderland - I looked back at the side blog and I can't believe it was only THIS year that I started OW??? Because I'd known of the game and the dev for longer than that??? So basically what I'm saying is that I was chicken shit for longer than I've been in love with this world that Developer Carrot has created kjzhhshggj. But OMG to get me, who is scared oh so easily to get hella invested in this clearly labeled horror game??????????????? And even with shit gets super absurd and hella disturbing, I cannot stop playing. At the time of this post, I'm only in Act 4, hence the category above, but it's only because I play each act in a sitting and lose track of space and time and myself. That's a compliment btw.

...

Okie!! That's 2023 in a nutshell! I played a looooot of really good games this year and while I would have liked to talk about them all, I think this list provides a nice overview.

Let me know if we share any favorites!

- Gemini ��

#gaming year in review #gamedev rambles #yeah no I cannot keep creating more work for me #2024 I am GOING to make a shorter list 😭🤧#hmmmm fun drinking game:#take a shot every time the word 'mystery' is used ☠️

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wheresmymilliondollarman · 2 years ago

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aaron warner x ferrars! reader pt. 3

when omega point falls, you find yourself in need of the supreme commander's son, and discover unresolved feelings along the way.

(taken place during ignite me & hc continuation from part two)

that is literally me in this gif y'all🖤🖤

a/n: hello!! finally back with part 3. i'm sorry for the wait, i wanted to do other requests, but tbh i might focus on this little series so that way it's complete and everyone can read it all together. also idk why i even label it hcs anymore LMAOO like i feel it's progressed to a fic atp, but i'm too stubborn to change my format and titles, so humor me LOL. (maybe i'll turn this into a legit fic when i finish, who knows) pls do not kill me for not including every detail, i tried to highlight the best parts as much as i could. also might seem all sunshine rainbows rn with relationships, but just wait for the next book… 🤞 extra info: kinda change adam's character cus i feel like he was an extra ass at times for no reason in the book?? like trying to kill kenji for no reason?? small redemption arc. kinda slight change to juliette. also, i love making reader, juliette, and kenji a lil trio.

word count: 10.7k (im insane)

warnings: mentions of fights, blood, injuries, and death. use of military time (reader so me fr bc it took me so long to understand that shit), suggestive and matureish content.

the first thing on your mind, when you woke up, is that you had to be dead. if you opened your eyes, you would see the golden gates of heaven or the fiery pit of hell. based on how you lived your short life: you were thinking hell.

you realized you were alive and mostly well from the horrible aching from your body, the bandages wrapped around your chest, and the fact your current surrounding was a bedroom.

"hey, amor, take it easy." a voice said as you attempted to sit up.

by your side was aaron warner, sitting down on a stool next to the bed you laid on. he, uncharacteristically, looked disheveled, his clothes messy, and his eyes anxious.

your panic arose as you remembered events - fighting against the reestablishment, then getting caught, and then being shot in the chest by anderson. and then you recognized the room; it was aaron's bedroom - back at the base.

aaron notices your alarm and grabs your hands to calm you down. "it's alright you're safe here, i'm not gonna hurt you."

it may have been an idiotic move, but you believed his words.

"why are we here?"

"i had no choice. everyone believes your dead, and the base is the best place to keep you hidden."

"i don't understand...i'm not a medic by any means, but shouldn't i be dead?"

"you have sara and sonya to thank for that. they were able to save your heart from stopping before being dragged away by my father. then, i was able to take their energy as my own and heal the rest of you."

you were thankful for his aid in your life being saved, but you were too focused on many other worries to properly thank him. like the state of your friends.

you try your hand at getting up, trying to ignore the dizziness that comes with it. aaron holds you steady to stop you from falling.

aaron protests, "you need to res-" but you interrupt, "i need to go. i-i have to find everyone and help them."

"you can't."

you stop your movement and turn to aaron, "what do you mean? i know i'm in horrible shape, but i have to see juliette and everyone else could be in troubl-"

"it's over."

your face scrunches up in confusion, "what?"

aaron's silent for a few movements; you can't breathe. he looks down, his grip on you tightening, "they're dead. all of them."

you look at him in horror, your mouth open, but no words are released. your knees give out, and Aaron carries your full weight in his arms.

he slowly brings you both down to the ground next to the bed, still holding onto you. "i'm sorry, please believe me when i say that. if there was a way to spare you of this pain i would do it in a heartbeat."

you feel like a shell of yourself, you have no reaction, just an emotionless look on your face.

"what happened?" you say in a monotone voice.

"amor, i think you need to lay down or shower, then eat some-"

"what happened," you repeat with a harsher voice.

"they... overtook your friends, some were taken to be tortured, but most were.. shot dead."

"and omega point?"

"....destroyed. they got the coordinates and bombed the entire foundation."

you feel disconnected from reality; nothing feels real. everything is numb; you can't find it in yourself to let out any sort of emotion.

"so juliette, kenji, adam, james..."

aaron didn't need to answer for you to know. they're gone.

the first thing you did was laugh like a lunatic, aaron likely looked at you like you were mad. then finally, the tears came.

you yelled at aaron to get out, even though it was his room. in hysteria, you started levitating things and throwing them at him until he exited the room.

you don't know how long you spent sobbing on the floor next to the bed. you weren't even sure if you were going to stop.

your voice was sore from the number of times you wailed apologies to juliette for being a bad sister and for not being there to protect your friends.

when the tears finished, you reached denial. you knew your friends - there was no way they were dead. juliette was stronger than you, physically and sometimes mentally, so if you could survive a bullet to the chest, your sister could be alive.

when aaron comes back hours later to check on you, he didn't expect to see you walking around in new attire, packing clothes and items into a bag.

"what are you doing?"

"i have to go back."

aaron was taken aback by your statement, but you claimed there was a possibility there were people who survived. he countered saying he'd seen the damage and it wasn't likely. you didn't listen to him and continued preparing.

"this is unhealthy and possibly delusional thinking."

"well, then put me back in the asylum if i'm wrong. i'm going if you let me or not."

he sighs, and then gives in, not before insisting he comes along with you. now you were the one taken aback. was he actually offering to help you?

"why do you seem surprised? it's not as if i haven't made my care for you quite clear."

"no offense, but you're the most confusing man ever. i want to trust you, i've seen your good-natured side. you even claim to.. love me. but you work for the reestablishment, but then claim to be on my side. don't forget the fact you tried to turn juliette and i into weapons for the reestablishment, held us, hostage, at your base, and put us into a torture chamber. not exactly behavior that screams i want to help you."

at this he laughs then laughs harder and you get annoyed, not knowing what was funny. you were ready to kick him out again until he finally stooped.

"i suppose i owe you a long overdue explanation."

nothing prepared you for his next words. aaron began to retell the events from his perspective. starting with his true intentions of bringing you and juliette from the asylum - to study the both of you.

aaron explained his mother's condition, being unable to be touched - a reverse juliette basically. he sought out her at first, then discovered your existence and became intrigued more.

he invented the guise of using you both for weapons as a way for his father to agree to invest in you both.

as anderson mentioned before, juliette was of special interest because of her ability, and yours wasn't as impressive to him at the time. aaron had to convince the commander that your mind reading ability would be great for spy purposes.

once he brought the two of you to the base, he was ready to face 2 vicious and demented sisters, but it was literally the opposite of that. instead he got stuck with two stubborn and immature, you were offended at that, teenage girls.

"juliette was more of the hard-headed one, you mostly just followed along, i figured that out after the dinner and dress stunt. however, i can't say feeding you myself wasn't pleasurable for myself."

aaron saw your fear of your own ability and had intentions to help you and juliette, in his own way.

his tried various ways to unlock your potential - with juliette he tried anger and bullying and with you he knew you couldn't suppress hearing thoughts, so he figured spending time with you was the best option. but he came to understand how much he loved being around you.

"i was so addicted to being around you, i got sidetracked. but then my worry grew when you both showed no progress on enhancing your ability, so as a last resort, i arranged an experiment."

to your surprise, he revealed it was actually a simulation which was a major relief to you that no one was actually harmed by your powers, well, no one besides warner. but he partly deserved it for putting you through that.

although you were mad he implanted that fear into you, you had to admit. it did work.

"so, instead of finding some way to inform me earlier of all this, you make my sister and i think of you as some supervillain who wanted control of our autonomy." you grab the nearest pillow and launch it at him. "you're an idiot! we were scared out of our minds! juliette and i's last conversation was a fight over that! do you know much much time you could- are you seriously smiling?"

"god, i love it when you yell at me."

now that the ait was clear, you were able to put more of your faith into aaron and his intentions. and not feel bad about kissing him.

the two of you worked together on a plan to get you back to what was left of omega point.

you met an older gentleman by the name of delalieu. he was very sweet, but it got a little vexing every time he jumped to warner's defense whenever you made a remark; even ones said in levity.

a few days later, when aaron deemed it safer, you both set off to leave. although you had the misfortune of having to be stuffed into a cart to avoid being spotted. at least it was better than the body bag you were transported in the first time.

the two of you transported to what was left of omega point in a tank. aaron notably was able to drive to the location with ease. you grew suspicious because one - he told his father he didn't know how to get there and two - he was unconscious the whole time you, juliette, kenji, and adam drove there. you decide to question him on the matter.

"i wasn't completely unconscious on the trip there. i was very conscious when you were touching my hair and tracing my features."

"i knew it! you little faker, you intentionally pushed yourself onto me didn't you!"

when you both arrived, the scene was as horrible as you imagined. - rubbles and dust everywhere and a huge gaping hole miles down. you felt sick thinking about everyone who stayed behind, including james. god, you hoped at least your friends were alright.

you were suddenly tackled to the ground by warner, and the sound of a gunshot followed after. a voice yelled out, and you immediately recognized it - kenji.

you got up instantly and ran to him, attacking him with a gigantic hug, tears brimming at your eyes.

"oh my god, i thought you were dead!"

"i thought you were dead!"

"you almost killed me right now when you shot at us like a lunatic!"

"sorry, i was aiming for warner- where'd he go?"

you change subject, "juliette? is she alright?"

kenji confirms she is alive, and you felt like you could breathe again. you needed to see her as soon as possible.

kenji started looking for warner like a madman, and you, too, were curious about his whereabouts - until he startled you by "showing" up behind you. he had turned himself invisible.

he was ready to take you both back before kenji shot him, but you declined to say you had to see juliette and anyone else that survived. aaron was reluctant but then handed you a pager, not that you knew what it was, and gave you a limit of four hours. you thought it to be ridiculous, but you compromised to ease his worries.

you and kenji ventured back to adam's house, your first time being there since you were unable to the first time around. he, heart-achingly, filled you in on the events, how they searched for you, how many were lost, and who remained. you told your side of the action, including everything with aaron.

kenji did have some judgemental comments, but you understood he was reeling from the shock of everything, especially from the details regarding aaron.

you bite your tongue when kenjii speaks ill of warner. defending him would only make you look naive, plus you couldn't deny the others had their reasoning for disliking the guy. you would end up sounding like delalieu.

"so what, you like the guy now? god, don't tell me your gullible enough to fall for it just because he's the first guy to show interest in you."

his words cut deep into you, but you don't respond and change the subject back to getting to the house. you didn't want to argue after being so happy kenji is alive. but damn did you want to give him a shove with your powers.

your spirits lifted as soon as you reached the destination. you pull kenji to the front door and urge him to open it. he knocks and confirms his identity before it's opened by winston, who was shocked to see you.

you greeted him quickly, feeling bad, but your main focus was your sister. next you see alia, castle, brendan, lily and alia. (all frozen to their spots as soon as they noticed you). when you see james you give him a tight hug, thankful for his well-being.

adam and juliette walked out of the kitchen engaged in conversation, not noticing you at first. then kenji drew their attention with a cough.

both of you were paralyzed at first; you were the first to break and jump at her with tears and an overbearing hug. she was quick to return it, then the both of you started crying in relief to see each other after thinking the other was dead.

"i'm so sorry for how we ended things, you had a right to be upset and i was a bad sister for not taking your feelings into account. "

"no, i'm the one who overreacted. i should've came with you the moment you told me you felt something was wrong."

"okay we get it elsa and anna; you're both very happy to see each other. please, no more tears."

you both pulled away, laughing softly at your dramatics. you turned and gave adam a much quicker hug, him happy to see you breathing.

with greeting out of the way, everyone's attention was turned back to you, particularly how you survived. you took a deep breath, and retold everything you told kenji, leaving out intimate details about aaron and you. everyone reacted similarly to the way kenji had.

the room then filled with different questions and thoughts, all voices one another, reminding you of listening to different people's thoughts at the same time. they all started assuming the worst in warner, and this time you did defend him - but it only made you look guilty.

the subject turned over to what was the next plan of action. castle was out of it, so he provided no help. adam was the first to protest any sort of fight, his concern for james overshadowing. juliette was on the fence about it for adam's sake, but you knew she wanted to fight against the reestablishment like everyone else, if not more. especially after all they had put the two of you through.

the conversation barely got past arguments before the front door was suddenly brought down. everyone, besides you, held up weapons to attack the intruder - you held up your hands, ready to use your power if necessary. but then you recognized the intruder quickly - aaron.

you ran over in front of him and advised everyone to stand down, but they didn't listen, they were too focused on the fact aaron had arrived.

you readied yourself to lower their weapons yourself, but then aaron made a move of his own and flung all the guns across the room with levitation.

"i was gonna do that.." you mumbled quietly to yourself.

"apologies, amor, i'll let you get them next time."

everyone else was stunned, you explained aaron's gift, but it was still a shock to see. a few banters are exchanged, but aaron, uncaring as ever, ignores them and proceeds to grab your arm so the two of you can leave. however, you stop him, not wanting to leave on bad terms.

you informed everyone that aaron was on your side, and they were understandably doubtful to believe it, but as they noticed how he acted with you, it became more believable.

you took the chance to try to persuade everyone to stand up again against the rebellion. juliette and kenji were the first to side with you, and slowly everyone followed along, adam and ian being the ones more reluctant. you could respect adam for thinking of james and juliette, and ian was just an asshole, but he was also mourning. in a turn of events, castle chimed in with his support.

aaron, not thrilled about the new members of your alliance, announced the two of you would be leaving. juliette protested, not wanting to be away from you after she just got you back.

part of you longed to lay on the comfortable bed back at the base, but you needed to stay with your team. so, you made an agreement aaron could return for you the next day.

"so i'll come back for you tomorrow? thirteen hundred hours."

"thirteen hundred hours? like from now?"

"it means one o'clock."

"... one o'clock is not thirteen hundred hours from now."

aaron was holding back a laugh, juliette was just as confused, and kenji physically facepalmed.

aaron eventually left after you reassured him you'd be fine. ian was of no help as he kept insulating it was better if you left. adam stormed off not long after, juliette following to calm him. she returned looking dejected and assumed she and adam fought. kenji suggested the three of you go out for a walk, although it was late.

during the night stroll, all three of you got emotions off your chest. kenji's feelings about the whole situation, juliette's issues with adam (they were still technically broken up) , and your turmoil with warner. kenji was somewhat holding back, but you knew he was just trying to hold up a strong facade.

as you disclosed your confusion and feelings, kenji had many questions, from disbelief, and juliette mainly just patiently listened and remained silent.

"so you like the guy, for what his personality? totally has nothing to do with his looks?

"hey, i'm not shallow! ...aaron just happens to be gifted with excellent looks."

"hearing you call him aaron is so weird. and i'm not judging you if you did. seeing adam shirtless is probably what drew juliette to him at the start."

"hey!"

the light banter made the solemn conversation easier to talk through. it was nice to be always from everything for a bit, and just act like friends.

you three returned back, kenji walked to the door first, and juliette grabbed your wrist to stop you from following him.

"i just want to talk to you alone real quick. about warner,.. or aaron, whatever you call him."

you held your breath, partly ready for her to possibly start another argument.

"i know you're confused about what you feel for him still, but i need you to know if you decide you love him - i'll support you. i don't want it to get in the way our bond. after everything that's happened... i realized there no time to waste on petty little things, especially about guys. all that should matter is we're always here for each other."

you give each other another heartfelt and tearful hug; glad kenji wasn't there to comment on how sappy and emotional it is.

"so, just between us sisters, do you think you love him?"

you laugh, and open the truth of your heart of her.

back inside, you all prepared for him or, as aaron called it a "slumber party." wasn't too far off since everyone besides james, adam, and castle slept on the ground.

your place was between kenji and juliette, each of you having your own pillow and blanket. winston and brendan bantered a bit about kicking faces before the turns finally went out.

"kenji, i know it will be incredibly hard, but keep your hands to yourself."

"you wish. you should be telling your sister that, she's basically all over me every night."

"shut up."

the next day brought a lot of drama. the day started off late, leaving little time to discuss before aaron arrived. another fight between adam and juliette set off. the issue being that aaron was coming back, which adam was completely against. he had been fine with your stay, but he wouldn't compromise for letting him return. adam gave an ultimatum, if you brought warner he would essentially kick you out.

juliette went to your defense and partly aaron's for your benefit. this only set off adam more. kenji tried his hand at intervening but only got backlash from adam, who stormed off outside after. everyone else stayed quiet, but you could tell one or two silently agreed with adam.

you didn't wanna stir any more trouble than needed, so you started preparing yourself to go, clicking the little mechanism aaron gave you a couple times to ensure it worked.

brendan, winston, castle, lily insisted you stay as well. james also gave a small plead for you to remain. juliette believed she could still talk some sense into adam.

it felt great to have their support, but at the same time, you felt bad for having to divide everyone into teams, yours or adam's. instead of building a team, you were tearing one apart.

before you knew it, the newly fixed door was again slammed open by the same intruder from the day before. aaron barged in, almost of breath and distressed. you thought something happened to him because of how disarranged he looked.

he locked his gaze on you and speedily grabbed you in his arms, cupping your face and scanning you up and down for any injuries. you were a bit embarrassed as everyone was a witness to aaron fussing over your well-being.

"did you run here?"

"of course, you beeped the pager."

you assured him you were alright and turned back to everyone with faces of incredulity.

"woah, this is... freaky." winston began.

"i worked for this guy for more than a year and never even saw him smile."

you explained to aaron that you couldn't stay at the house any longer but couldn't leave everyone else either. he offers to have them stay in the training area, but kenji declines, needing a better offer. juliette sides with kenji, the rest don't fully trust warner, so they need reassurance.

you couldn't bare the thought of leaving everyone again, so you pleaded to aaron to give in to their demands, willing to compromise whatever. you were happy and a little shocked, along with everyone else, when he accepted the terms.

"i'll return tomorrow at fourteen hundred ho-" he sees your confused face again, "2 o'clock. i really must educate you on military time, amor"

"or you could just say the time on a clock like the average person."

aaron takes your hand and guides you back to the tank to make your way back to the base before anyone notes his disappearance.

you express your gratitude for his help, and he responds by saying there's not need, he would do whatever to ease your pain. he also partly owed it to you for being so dismissive when you believed your friends were alive.

"i know they all judge you right now, and maybe they always will. but, i do believe you're a good person, and sure, you have flaws, but who doesn't - i am certainly no saint. i don't want to fix you...just want to make you see yourself in a better light like i do." your final words before falling into a slumber against the window.

you return back to the base the way you came in with delalieu's help. your both back in aaron's room, not having said a word to each other since the tank. aaron's started to ask questions about what had happened back at adam's house. you briefly told him about the drama about adam not wanting you there if you were with warner.

aaron became upset, not liking how adam treated you, and reassured you he would harm him if you wanted him to. you quickly assure him that you didn't care about it, you weren't going to beg to stay where you weren't wanted. you were mostly concerned about what it had done to whatever relationship was left between juliette and adam. she obviously loved him, but she couldn't hold herself back for him either.

you go silent at the mention of juliette, remembering your last private conversation. aaron, being able to easily feel your emotions, pick up and it and presses for information.

"it's just.. she asked me if i loved you."

aaron's breath hitches, "what was your response."

"i told her, 'love is a strong word. i'm not even sure i fully understand it. but i think...no i know. i'm falling for him.' "

aaron didn't respond, he got up and went to his office, shutting the door behind him. you weren't sure what it meant. and you didn't see him for the rest of the day.

you couldn't sleep that night; your mind was doing circles in anticipation of the group's arrival tomorrow.

you got up with the intention of solely getting a glass of water, but then heard a loud noise come from the direction aaron's office.

wanting to make sure he was okay, you walked in without notice. the door was already halfway open, so you figured it was alright.

the room was bigger than your childhood home's living room; it was filled with different seats of furniture, books, shelf, etc. aaron was at his large desk - his shirt discarded and only wearing slacks and socks.

aaron's brushes you off, telling you to go to bed, but your focus is on a small jar in his hands. you ask what it is, but he avoids answering, so you grab the object yourself. he attempts to get it from you, but you move away - deja vu to when aaron wouldn't return your journal to you. it felt nice to be on the flip side of it for once.

you read the label and understood it was a medicine. then it clicked; it was for his scars. and he was embarrassed about it. it was kind of cute.

he confirms it's for his back, so you nicely offer to do it for him since he seemed to have trouble reaching it. he was obviously self-conscious no matter how much he denied it, and you told him it didn't matter; you'd already seen them. but he kept turning his back away from you. you were getting suspicious that the scars were only part of the reason he was hiding.

you got annoyed and impulsively used your power to keep him sat and finally make his back face you. you could apologize later.

then you saw it. yes, his scars were still there, but on top of that were your wonky star doodles. the ones you drew in his cells two weeks ago in his cell at omega point.

you were confused about how they were still there, darker than you remember. the pen you used was lousy; you would know since you used it to write and the ink always smudged. the pen ink was also blue, and this was black. the skin around it was also freshly red.

"wait.. is this tattooed?"

his silence confirmed it. you were speechless. he tattooed your silly little doodles. he needed the medicine to numb the pain of the ink.

"why would you do this?"

"figured it your mark was better than the ones my dad left me."

"aaron."

"it was the first time i looked at my back and smiled."

you think your heart burst on the spot.

"god, i would've made them better if i knew you were gonna mark it."

"they're perfect." god, you were ready to melt.

you compose yourself and insist you put on the medicine since it was your tattoo design that's causing him slight pain. he didn't protest this time. you applied it in silence, then worked up the courage to ask about his scars.

aaron was very hesitant, you were ready to be shut down, but then he opened up to you. his scars being a 'birthday gift' from his father. it was heartbreaking to hear and almost brought tears to your eyes, but you knew pity was the last thing he wanted.

"when you saw them back in my cell, i waited to see that look of repulse on your face, but it never came. you observed them so carefully like they were the most interesting thing to you. then you had the gall to say it was similar to abstract art."

"well, it's true. they're not ugly, and you're certainly not repulsive. the scars are like a show of strength for everything you've been through. they're yours; only you decide what they represent. anyone who thinks differently is a total loser."

"please, stop."

"i'm sorry, did i say something wr-"

"i love you. so much that the first thing i did when returning here after escaping omega point was getting delalieu to tattoo my skin because your marks faded. i didn't even let myself wash off in fear they'd disappear before i got a chance to preserve them. i couldn't wipe the smile off my face whenever i looked at it through a mirror. it always reminded me of you. our moments. our last kiss. i burn for you greatly, and you don't even realize it."

"aaron..."

"don't."

"you know how i feel. but i'm still figuring it out, this is all new to me, and i want to get to know you better-"

"please. just go." and you did.

the following day, right on schedule, aaron goes to pick up the group while you stay behind waiting in the training facility that he briefly gave you a tour of.

the group arrived, and you happily greeted them as they looked around the place in awe. aaron began to go over rules and boundaries for the group. after the previous night, you were unsure about where you stood with warner, so you decided to give him some space and stand with the rest of the group. as he spoke, he threw not-so subtle glances your way, making you confused about whether he was upset with you or not.

aaron ventured off, everyone was setting up their items, and you separated with kenji and juliette. they book had look more distressed upon their arrival. apparently, juliette took one last chance to try and convince adam to come along, he didn't budge, saying he had to protect james and encouraged juliette to stay as well. it resulted in an argument; eventually, he respected her decision to fight - but it would mean the end for them. you comforted your sister through her heartbreak, adam had been a big part of her life, even a bit of yours. so to say goodbye must've been hard for her.

kenji also tried to persuade adam, but it escalated, and the two started throwing harsh words at each other. you knew adam was his friends, whether they both acknowledged it or not, and after omega point, you were sure kenji didn't want to lose anyone else. leaving james behind made it worse.

the direction of conversation then turned to you, and you were originally going to deny any conflict, but kenji and juliette picked up on the tension between you and aaron.

juliette starts, "so, what happened with warner?"

"don't know what you mean."

kenji and juliette give each other a mutual glance, " we aren't blind; the guy kept looking at you as if you'd killed his puppy. like seriously, there could've been a rain cloud over him with how much he was sulking."

you opened up to the happenings of last night, leaving out too personal information about warner, and how you weren't sure what to do now. kenji lost his mind at the bit about the tattoo, this new side of warner still weirding him out.

"i thought you were into him?"

"i mean, i am. it's just all so confusing. i'm not trying to string him along, i just want to truly know him before i could want more with him. it feels like he knows every single thing about me, while i'm barely starting to paint a picture. or maybe he only thinks he loves me or he's only interested in me because of my gift."

"dude, everything he has done for us so far is all because of you. what kind of guy tattoo's a stupid drawing someone drew on their back? and i swear he gets cartoon heart eyes when he looks at you too long. i know i called you naive for believing it, but that was before i saw first hand how intimate his feelings are for you."

"he's right, y/n. think about if he only cared about your gift, he would've been treating us the same, after all, he brought both of us in. sure, he acts decent towards me, but i'm pretty sure it has more to do with the fact we're sisters. you don't play nice with someone's family unless you really like them."

you were silent as you absorbed both their perspectives.

kenji sighs, "damn, i need a love life."

"interested in someone else."

"technically single, but i'd choose the asylum over you."

"i'm starting to miss when you both were meek and quiet."

after that friendly therapy session, you regained your focus on the important task, formulating a plan to overtake anderson. you had a few ideas, some you talked about with aaron, but a seventeen-year-old girl can only do so much on her own, so that's why you bring in your sister, who is also seventeen. as the two of you went through essentially the same trauma, she had as much right to be a big part of this as you.

aaron came back hours later, and everyone gathered around and took a seat somewhere. to your surprise, aaron sat down right the to you. the tension is so much worse side by side. knowing aaron could read what you felt didn't make it better.

you began to illustrate the details of the plan, juliette helping fill in and explain points. the goal is to get anderson to sector 45; to do that, you had to take over sector 45. getting people and soldiers to rebel was going to be the trickiest part, and much of the group wasn't on board that it could work.

"we're going to have to show them our strengths, i'll help them see our strength." you explain.

"and if they shoot us?" ian counters..

juliette shrugs, "then don't do it, i'm sure my sister and i are capable of being amazing by ourselves."

"real humble , j."

brendan speaks up, "so, we've got somewhat of a synopsis of juliette's gift, but, no offense y/n, what is it you can do besides read minds?"

it was true; almost everyone wasn't aware of other capabilities you possessed. you didn't like to divulge your gift much back at omega point, kenji, juliette, and castle knowing the most. unlike juliette, who had many different events where she showed her amazing strength, and you were sure they saw more when she practiced at adam's house while you were separated.

you briefly revealed more about your powers, mind-reading, telekinesis, and your ongoing training in telepathic defense. you admitted to losing control a few times as well. the group looked more amazed as you went on.

"prove it."

"yeah, c'mon dude, show us."

everyone else started egging you on to make a show of your powers; you even saw aaron look interested in wanting to see it. you gave in, and asked aaron for permission to throw some objects around, he nodded.

you started levitating different objects and throwing a few around. kenji started begging for you to lift him, so you did - then winston and brendan kept begging to go next. you showcased a small shield of energy you were able to produce. lastly, they wanted to see your telepathic projection, but you explained it would involve harming one of them, so you shut it down.

"so like, you can do all that too right? since you can steal powers?" winston questions warner.

"yes, if i wanted to i could take hers, or any of your powers and use it."

you cough into your hand, "no one's better than the original, though."

"so the two of you together can basically can..."

"take over the world?"

"...was going to say kick serious ass, but you're not wrong."

warner doesn't respond, but you can see him holding back a smile.

the thought of warner taking powers was eerie to the group, but you reassured them of your faith and trust in aaron. then the conversation redirects to the plan. castle questions of what is supposed to happen if you do win, such as who is going to lead.

"i will." juliette pulls you by the arm next to her, "and y/n will help me."

the room falls silent. even warner is still. your head snaps to your sister, that was not a topic the two of you discussed. nor did you know it was up for discussion. you, of course, didn't express your surprise, you couldn't show doubt when this whole meeting relied on trust. juliette's speech on the new world motivated everyone to follow through with the battle plan, you silently supported it, but in your mind, you didn't think it was the best idea for you both to lead a whole country. you think juliette forgets just how young and inexperienced you both are.

but you were sure this was a problem that could be mended later, right?

aaron and you were alone in his room again, the silence so deafening, you mentally cringed. you attempted to start the conversation on his thoughts about the plan, but he began to brush you off. frustrated, you call him out on his recent behavior.

"why is it all or nothing with you? i didn't reject you- all i said was i want to know you better, i saw you in a bad light for a good while. i want to see the positive just as much."

"or maybe you're just expecting too much from me."

"why are you being so stubborn!"

"because you being disgusted with what you learn, would end me."

he walked out after, a common occurrence, it seemed, these past days.

you vented all your frustrations into training the next day. you told yourself you wouldn't focus on warner, no matter how good he looked in sweatpants, and instead use your pent-up energy to master your powers.

it paid off well; you got closer to creating a shield. but maybe a little too well, since you accidentally launched kenji across the room with your energy force. he got you back off, turning invisible and tripping you. juliette concentrated on moving her dumbbell with the force of will, but she struggled. reminded you a lot of your training at omega point. you offered her tips on what worked for you, and kenji coached.

at some point, you went to the back to drink from your water bottle, unintentionally near where warner was bench pressing. then suddenly you heard someone yell 'get down'. it all happened in a flash, you turned around a bit late, and the rock wall behind you came crumbling down at you. you quickly attempted to lift your hands, levitate most of the impact and braced yourself. suddenly, instead of your body colliding with dozen of sharp rocks, you were surrounded in bubbles. you turned the rumble into fucking bubbles.

you stood mouth wide open in shock for a minute, the people around you just as amazed. aaron was the first to run to you, asking if you were alright, and you nodded, still a bit shocked. he expressed his astoundment at your newfound skill.

juliette then came up to you and profusely apologized, and you assured her you were okay and accidents happen.

"i can't count how many times i almost knocked out castle with things during my training. you'll get the hang of it. plus, i'm sure aaron had trouble learning to control power too."

"oh, no. though i've always been very good at everything i do."

you smack his chest, "you are seriously no help."

you continue to train very hard for the rest of the week, your muscle will likely permanently ache in pain.

you and aaron hadn't gotten much better, you really did try to reach out so many times, but if he wasn't going to cooperate, why waste energy.

he made a habit of intentionally putting his focus on things around the base and working late, so he wouldn't see you until you were already asleep.

if things ended badly between you two, i'd be because of his own stupidity, not for your lack of trying nor the judgment of his character.

other than that, all was well. until kenjii decided to casually drop a bomb that adam and james were coming to the base. juliette started freaking out, and you weren't sure where you and adam stood, but you were excited to see james again.

adam arrived, and tensions between the ex-couple were high. they both were cordial but weren't sure how to act around one another. adam went up and apologized to you for his treatment, and you accepted it because he was once your friend, and you hated grudges. james excitedly greeted you, and you gave him a small tour.

then aaron showed up, ignoring adam, but he and james went back in forth in exchanges. it was very entertaining to watch, and aaron pointed out your enjoyment.

"why do you call her amor?"

"it means love in spanish."

"so, do you love her?"

"why, do you?"

"n-no! she's really pretty- i mean, i like her...no, ugh, she's like a million years older than me!"

"hey! i'm not prehistoric!"

you cut the exchange short, grabbing james on the shoulders and dragging him away, "how about we go back t kenji while i explain to you age numbers..."

you and juliette got upgrades in suits. yours similar to your former, but with minor changes. your color was now a darker red with accents of black, your coat was now high to low with slides for the sides of your legs to show, new knee-high combat coots, and new long fingerless gloves. yours and juliette's new material was made to accommodate your powers.

for training, you watched juliette and kenji go back in forth in combat - kenji mostly won due to technique, but juliette overpowered him a few times.

aaron came up to you, and insisted the two of you train in combat together. you rejected his offer; combat was not your forte, you were repeatedly told by kenji many times. so you just stuck to using your powers. but aaron wouldn't back off.

"it's important to learn combat, amor."

"if i run into a bad guy i'll just fling him away."

"and when you can't use your powers, what happens?"

you were going to argue that wouldn't happen, but knew it wouldn't suffice for him, so you just gave in, so he would shut up.

it was no shocker that he easily blocked your punches and stopped any attack. he even had the audacity to be amused at how badly you were doing.

"wow, you are quite terrible."

"okay, i get it i suck. can i go back to my training?"

"c'mon, amor, don't give up so easily. punch me."

as much as you were annoyed, you didn't want to physically hurt him. aaron laughed when you told him that. that itself, ticked you off. and it did not help that now you had an audience invested in the interaction.

you still didn't relent, aaron was a bit disappointed, but he focused on fixing your form.

you don't know if it was the fact aaron laughed, his constant comments, or all your pent-up frustration, but something came over you. while aaron was distracted with giving walking you through hitting an opponent, you hit him - hard. you might've used some of your powers to make the hit stronger, but he didn't need to know that.

aaron staggered back, shockingly caught off guard. you honestly expected him to block it like your other ones; but no you managed to land a hit on his cheekbone area, hitting some of the side of his nose. your poor form made for your knuckles to hurt badly.

everyone stopped what they were doing; even you froze. kenji in the back, trying not to laugh. aaron then recovered, his land touching the side of his face. his face didn't show anger, pain, nor surprise - he was smiling in admiration.

"oh my god, i'm so sorry!"

"no, don't apologize, amor. i'm very content being the first to experience your strength firsthand."

you and aaron ended up cutting practice short and went to the infirmary. you helped treat the large bruise on his face you'd given him as a small apology, and he wrapped your sprained knuckles and partly chasted you for incorrect hand form. was he looking to get punched again?

the following day, aaron woke you up earlier than your normal routine. he mentioned an opportunity for you and juliette to finally get practice outside of the base, and you quickly agreed. you asked why so suddenly, and then he disclosed he was going to visit his mother. it was her birthday, he explained. he didn't say much after that and went over that kenji will keep you and juliette invisible after he leaves.

but you couldn't help your curiosity and asked a little about his mother. hearing the story of his ring broke your heart. the only gifts you got were when you and juliette exchanged homemade gifts for your shared birthday, but the story made you appreciate that tradition much more.

"i think it's good you still visit her."

"is it?"

"it is. knowing you have someone there is sometimes enough. whenever i remembered i had my sister with me, it made the asylum not completely terrible. and around you, i feel like i achieve anything."

juliette, kenji, and you, invisible, met with warner at his tank. you didn't even need to tell him of your presence before he helped you into the tank and got on the driver side to start it.

"how'd you..." you ask, confused.

"i can sense your presences. especially yours."

"woah, freaky. what's mine feel like? peanut better?" he got ignored.

you settled on the opposite window side, juliette next to you, and kenji next to aaron. kenji started shuffling around, uncomfortable.

"dude, y/n, switch seats with me."

"what why?"

"your boyfriend is touching my leg."

"you flatter yourself." aaron interjects.

"c'mon hurry up! i think he's about to knife me..."

"just switch with juliette. it's easier."

"no way, if i'm gonna move, i might as well get the window seat."

you roll your eyes (not that he can see), and the two of you begin a messy movement of bodies to switch seats. poor juliette, stuck in the middle, getting hit by an occasional limb.

"ow, you just hit me in the face-" juliette complains.

"sorry, i'm trying my best-"

"now you just hit me!" you exclaim.

"oh my god, let me just-"

"kenji!"

kenji was the first to get to his new seat, you were situated over both him and juliette. kenji, tired of your leg in his face, shoved you with brief warning. and in an attempt to stable yourself you put your hands out on aaron's lap, but one hand missed. and landed on his groin. aaron visibly flinched and put his lips together in a straight line to contain his painful expression.

you gasped and hastily moved your hands in a panic, then to make matters worse - you fell face first in his lap. you were so happy to be invisible at the moment.

aaron takes a sharp intake of air, and his knuckles turn white from how tight he grips the wheel. you scramble you sit correctly, accidentally putting a hand on his groin again before finally in the seat. the silence was deafening.

aaron promptly dropped you both off at an empty site and bid you goodbye. you gave him some last words for comfort that you noticed he appreciated. then he went off.

sometime later, it was time for the four of you to meet up again. the practice had been somewhat successful. there were many miscalculations with practicing and being invisible. the three of you kept stumbling into each other, having the wrong place meant, and arguing over who was right. but ignoring that, you did get some practice in there.

aaron, however, was unusually late. it worried you. kenji and juliette didn't think much of it. but since you knew his location, you sensed there was something wrong. you asked both of them to check on him to ensure he was already, and you three walked to the house. you avoided mentioning aaron's mother.

you asked juliette and kenji to wait outside as you went inside.knji begrudgingly agreed, ensuring he could keep the invisibility up inside, too. juliette bid you to be careful and return as soon as possible.

you saw a few different pictures of aaron with his mother as a child. you looked through different rooms until you found him. he was sitting on the floor with his knees to his chest, his frame trembling. his mother died; you put together. you quickly knelt down and gave him a hug that he accepted. you let him hold you tightly as he sobs sorrowfully. it was painful to witness, so you let him cry onto your shoulder for however long he needed.

an hour later you returned, kenji and juliette already in the tank, no invisibility. you didn't need for them to say anything to know they had questions, so you avoided their gaze. next to you, aaron held your hand the whole way back

his mother's death reminded you of his family, the unknown fact to him that he shares blood with adam and james. you wanted him to know, but truly, you didn't want any part of that mess. knowing was already knawing at you as it was. juliette disagreed; she thought adam needed to tell aaron.

you thought leaving aaron alone was the best decision. you even planned to spend the night where everyone else was. but as you were packing a bag, he stopped you. aaron grabs your arm and turns you to look at him.

"you're right. i am holding back. i was telling you how much you were in denial, but it was me who was holding back. you've always seen me in a light like no one has. i've never thought of myself as even a decent man until you came around. and it scares me. so much. i'm afraid of disappointing you, and you'll be disgusted with me, see the monster i see every day in the mirror. but if giving more of myself is all it takes to be yours, then it's done. you can learn every crevice of my soul if it means you'll stay with me."

you knew it then, "i love you." you are in love.

he grabs your face and kisses you in less than a second. the kiss being so loving and careful, he takes his time memorizing your lips. he lifts you in the air prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. from there, the kiss molds into passion and need. before you know it, you're both lying on the bed with him hovering over you.

aaron groans into your mouth, "say it again."

you softly giggle, "i love you."

"god, you have no idea what you just unleashed, amor."

your stomach is doing a million glips. your entire body is in frenzy. you're ready to have a heart attack there and then. it was only just the beginning as well.

"lift your hips for me, amor."

"c'mon, angel, don't get shy on me now."

"i'm afraid you're never getting rid of me now mi amor."

very long night.

you slept through most of the morning, only woken up by aaron laying kissing down your neck. then he started going lower down your body. any sleep you had was now gone.

"aaron.. what are you doing."

"nothing."

"liar."

"shhh.. you just lay there, i'm just going to enjoy my breakfast."

the man was insaitable; you were sure you weren't ever gonna get out of bed that day. but eventually, you did. had to dedicate half an hour to walking properly again.

you went to you rfinal fitting for suits, and the new look was incredible. juliette traded the purple for a new black suit - kenji not liking his color stolen.

"why am i the only one in color now?"

"so, you can get spotted and shot at first while the rest of us get away." kenji answers.

"you're the worst."

aaron walked up behind you and whispered in your ear, "how quickly can you take this off?"

you smack his chest and give a playful disapproving look.

"i mean, it definitely can stay on, too."

"aaron!"

the bliss of everything helped ease your nerves for the following day. you were sat in aaron's room going over the plan for the millionth time. aaron kept reassuring you you'd be perfect and worrying will do nothing but install fear.

"it's just... what if it backfires. what if no one listens or surrenders?"

"it wont and they will."

"you're right. i'll just tell them my scary boyfriend will come after them."

"for you? always." he kisses your cheek, "i like the sound of you saying boyfriend, but scary?"

"well, everyone besides me is pretty scared of you."

"and what about you, what do you think of me?"

"i think you're cute."

"cute? yeah, let me show you just how cute, i can be."

aaron can never take his off of you for too long.

the next day, you, juliette, and the others stood in front of sector 45. both the people and the soldiers gathered there, all of their eyes fixed on your group. it was like the world's largest show and tell.

aaron started it off with a speech, informing everyone of the truth and the fact you and juliette were alive and well. then your sister took over, and directly told the crowd the plan to destroy the reestablishment, you gave a few words of your own, but juliette did most of the talking much to your relief.

then the questions from the crowd starting, so it was time for the group to showcase their powers. finally it was down to juliette and you.

juliette climbed to a building s good hundred feet from the ground, then jumped off and landed - making the ground tremble and shatter beneath her.

"how the hell do i top that?" you whisper to yourself.

with a comforting look from aaron, and a deep breath, you stepped into the front. you looked for a fairly easy but impressive thing to lift and spotted a very tall tower. bingo.

using your ability, you began carefully levitating it above the ground. you closed your hand into a fist, and the tower began breaking into bits. people began to panic as the rubble started coming toward them, but suddenly, you transformed the pieces into butterflies flying around the people. everyone looking around in amazement.

you took the biggest deep breath once you were done. very happy your practice paid off, and you didn't accidentally end up killing a crowd.

the crowd cheered and roared. the presentation proved to be successful because they got on board with destroying the reestablishment. the soldiers surrendered and joined the rebellion.

back in the training room, everyone was overjoyed with the success of overtaking sector 45, but now came the hardest part. winning a war.

juliette ran straight to you, attacking you in a very strong hug. so strong you had to tell her to chill on the power a bit. she apologized and released you. the recent events were still reeling in your mind, not fully comprehended.

"oh my god, juliette what did we just do?"

"we just started a war my dearest sister."

and now you had to wait to face anderson in likely a day or two. he almost killed you last time. but you wouldn't let him get lucky again.

the group, minus aaron, sat in the training room discussing what was next. one talk to another led to the topic of anderson.

"i've never even met the guy. wonder what he's like?"

"he's handsome. it's actually insane how evil, but striking he is." you blurt out.

juliette agrees, but the group looks at you weirdly.

"dude, you just called your boyfriend's dad attractive."

"what? i don't mean it in a weird way."

"hey, at least you've got a backup option if the first anderson doesn't work out. "

you throw a pillow at kenji's head.

then the topic of anderson's name came about, and that's when the trouble began. adam answered his name was paris; but suddenly, aaron arrived in the room, overhearing the conversation.

aaron put him against the wall, interrogated him on how he knew, and adam not saying anything. you couldn't take it anymore, so you yelled out the truth.

"he's your bother!"

aaron didn't believe it. juliette kept pressuring adam until he finally confessed. everyone gave the two of them space to work things out as everyone else busied themselves. when all was on steady terms, aaron sat with you.

"you should've told me."

"i know, i'm sorry. but it really wasn't my secret to tell."

"i had a right to know."

"c'mon, if you had some sort of family secret of mine, would you tell me right away?"

he hesitates, "you're right. you didn't want to get involved, i understand that."

you tell yourself it didn't matter, but you couldn't help but ask, did he deliberately avoid answering. you brush it off, probably nothing.

you returned to aaron's room, you both talked about the brother situation more, and aaron mentioned spending more time with both kent's. you were happy to see he was content to learn about his new family and want to see them more.

"this is great. i'm happy when you're happy. it's deserve more close people in your life."

"but i have you, and that's enough."

"very sweet, but family relationships are different. i was fortunate to have a sister in my life. what if my mother hadn't had the both of us, juliette not being my sister? seems unimaginable.."

aaron goes rigid, being in his lap, you notice immediately, "you alright?"

he relaxes and nods, "this whole situation has me a bit disorientated. enough brother talk. let me remind you why our relationship has much better advantages than other ones.."

a full night of sleep was just a foreign concept at this point.

it took one day for anderson to come to the sector. you all had luckily kind of prepared for it, so there was a plan set that you all were to follow. kenji, juliette, and you were responsible for going to the ship to deal with anderson while the rest took care of the matter on land.

before separating, you said your farewell and good luck to aaron. you tried to cry when saying goodbye to james and promising all would be fine. lastly, you gave aaron a kiss, and you promised each other to be safe.

"i have no doubts that you will succeed. my father can't even fathom the power you possess."

as you three board the port, you notice the massive groups of soldiers. juliette has the idea of you pushing them into the water with your powers, which you do.

you each take turns getting onto the ship, 5-second gap each. however, once you get inside, you can't find neither juliette or kenji. still invisible, you take your chances going through different doors, trying not alert soldiers.

but it fails because bullets began shooting in your direction. you run as fast as you can; unlike juliette, you are not invincible neither was your suit, at least not entirely.

with your invisibility gone, you get cornered with at least 7 soldiers, armed. your instincts kick in, and you start throwing men and attacking them with your energy. one soldier begins shooting at you when you're caught off guard. you hold your hand out as a protection and close your eyes, but you see the bullet is stopped - by your shield. you hadn't even made an effort to create it yet, and it presented itself like it was an automatic presence.

after witnessing that, the guard abandoned the ship and ran off. you couldn't blame him; you doubt he got paid enough to deal with all this.

you attention is shifted when you heard loud crashes and screams. you recognize them as your friend and your sister. you rush toward the room where the sound was originating.

you see kenji on the ground in pain and juliette not too far off; she's crouched down, clutching her head, and struggling to stand. you spot anderson, with another man, who you recognize is causing juliette's pain with his sonic wave gift.

you focus your energy on the boy, focusing on hurting him. then he stops his pressure waves and starts howling in pain, crouching down like juliette had. you were in a trance, channeling all your energy into hurting the guy, then - you snapped his neck.

you ran to juliette first, helping her get up, then you checked on kenji who was in worse shape.

anderson drew his gun, and started shooting bullets at you both, but it simply just bounced off. you and juliette drew your own weapons; you looked at each other and knew what had to happen next.

you focus your energy on anderson, his legs then collapse under him. he starts scrambling on the ground. juliette steps on his hands - shattering his borns with her power.

"remember that lesson on justice getting served?"

you shoot him in the chest, and juliette aims for his head.

4 shots - one for adam, one for aaron, one for juliette, and one for you.

it was a blur after that. sara and sonya were found and attended to kenji who was luckily not in any fatal condition, he would be okay.

it felt like you were experiencing someone out-of-body, unreal. juliette went up to the speaker system, capable of speaking to the entirety of the sector. she announced the end of the reestablishment and its new leader.

he was dead. it was over.

still bloodied and bruised, you stood on the tallest tower of the compound. you hadn't talked to anyone; everyone too busy rejoicing. but you were still digesting everything that had just happened.

you look over the new land and wonder what could be in store next.

you're not surprised when juliette and aaron find you, they know you too well at this point. they don't say anything and each take a side next to you. aaron puts a hand around your waist and tugs you toward him.

"the entire rest of the world is coming after us now, you know."

"i'd love to see them try." juliette says confidently.

"i believe as long as our bonds remain strong, we can overcome anything." though. that wasn't how you really felt.

you didn't want to damper a glorious day. but you couldn't help the pit forming inside of your stomach, telling you this was only the beginning of a treacherous path.

but nothing come could destroy the bonds you forged, right?

@whatsupb18 @letspretendimnottrash @heart-an0n @mrsspector-grant @kikilarast10 @nina357 @lupinswolfsbanes (tysm for the support)

#aaron warner x reader #aaron warner imagine #aaron warner #aaron warner anderson #aaron warner fanfic #shatter me #shatter me fanfic #shatter me series #juliette ferrars #kenji kishimoto #adam kent #x female reader #x y/n #x reader #reader insert #reader imagine #headcannons

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snek-panini · 6 months ago

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Got a bit of a different bookbinding post today. @renegadeguild got an ask from a new binder saying they were intimidated by everyone's gorgeous binds (me too, actually, some of you guys are scary good), and so they've asked people to share their first binds. And I realized I'd never even taken photos of my first one, so here it is, warts and all:

This is E.M. Forster's The Machine Stops, a public domain scifi short story that you can read for free at the link. The first reason I chose it was that it's an interesting story, and I'd bought a print-on-demand copy a few years previously that was just terrible. Baffling cover choices, basic errors in the typeset (like quotes that face the wrong way), weird size that didn't fit on my shelf; just not a good product. I couldn't do it with more indifference than the PoD people. The second reason was that I was too intimidated by the thought of asking a fic writer if I could bind their story and then producing something with a thousand sloppy beginner mistakes, and then they'd want to see photos and I'd have to show them this and it would have been mortifying, but Forster has been dead since 1970 so I could not disappoint him. It was very freeing. I bound it in 2021 as an experiment, to see if I liked this hobby enough to stick to it. The cover is green cardstock and faux leather scrapbook paper that I bought at... probably Hobby Lobby. I added the title later, as a practice project when I first got my Cricut; for the first two years of its existence it had a blank cover.

There are more photos under the cut!

In this photo we can see:

--Too much glue when attaching the leather-print paper, so it oozed out onto the cover.

--Cricut font too thin and too much heat/too long of a press, so the letters have gaps and the glue also oozed out here. It's a continuing theme with this bind.

--I tried to use a bone folder to give it a sharper hinge crease and accidentally pressed too hard and tore a hole in the paper; you can see this in the little white vertical line near the top of the hinge

The fore edge is not square. I actually don't remember why this happened. I may have eyeballed the board position when I made the case, or the paper may have slipped while the glue was wet, or I cut it crooked and didn't notice till later. Either way it's bad enough that the book doesn't stand on its own. There was a crooked man/who walked a crooked mile/and found a crooked sixpence/against a crooked stile./He bought a crooked cat/which caught a crooked mouse/and they all loved together in a little crooked house, and I bet they read this little crooked book from their little crooked library.

Top view, you can see that the case is too big and the text block doesn't sit straight in it. It has no endbands or bookmark, and it's hard to see in this photo but there's glue on the top of it, at the spine. This still happens to me but I know how to trim books now so this bit gets cut off. You can also see that the scrapbook paper has some cracks where its white core is visible. This is why I do cloth or actual faux leather on the spines now. Endpaper shows uneven trim (did I not use a ruler for this??), too much glue causing major seepage, and it doesn't sit evenly in the case. I'm not sure if this is because of the case itself being crooked, a badly-trimmed endpaper, or if the text block is also crooked. Or it may be a combination of all these factors. Unclear.

Typeset photos! Here we see:

--Title page has a page number on it. This is a pet peeve of mine and I fixed it after this book.

--There is no half title, summary, or metadata. All my later binds have these things.

--It's typeset in Times New Roman. Unlike many I don't actually hate this font but reading it reminds me of being in high school so this is the only book I used it for. Baskerville is my beloved now. The font is also much bigger than it should be. It's not huge but it's like a large print book so it feels weird for me to read it.

--Lol what are margins

--Lol what are page headers

--Actually I think I left the headers out so it wouldn't have a header on the first page of each chapter, because I knew about page breaks but not section breaks at this time.

--It's on regular-ass lightweight printer paper. There's nothing wrong with this but I switched to heavier weight paper shortly after to help with bleed-through and the light stuff feels so flimsy now.

--I didn't understand how Word's book fold worked at this time, so when I had to set the sheets per booklet and it had an option for 4, I chose that thinking it would give me 4 sheets of paper (16 numbered pages) per sig. It did not do this. It gave me 4 numbered pages per sig. So every signature is 1 sheet of paper. Every page is its own signature. I am still mad about this but it sure drove home how the setting works and also how to make kettle stitches since you make one after every sig. A book of 48 pages has 12 signatures which is just ludicrous.

--There's no photo of this but it has a piece of printer paper on the spine because I didn't have mull. I did use PVA though. Lots and lots of PVA.

--It's stitched with regular sewing thread, which means it doesn't have much swell for a book with that many sigs, but it's less sturdy and more likely to tear the paper.

And that's that! It probably sounds a bit like I was tearing it to shreds but I actually love this book quite a lot. I learned so many things that I applied to my next binds, it was an invaluable experience. It let me fall in love with the hobby so I could make the awesome things I make now. I've got those all posted on my main blog under the tag #snek makes books, or you can see them all on my side blog @papersnakepress. For a first book it's functional and readable, and still better than the PoD copy I had before. I've been thinking of doing a rebind as a sort of progress gauge, actually. Maybe next year.

#bookbinding #snek makes books #the machine stops #it's not winning any beauty contests #or technical skill contests either #but it's mine and i love it #first bind

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the-chessboard-is-personal · 14 days ago

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ii s3 liveblog

I'm a bit sad rn so sorry if my reactions are bad this time

1 - I'm not supposed to relate to Balloon am I. y'know. the guy that did something bad in the recent past and now everyone hates them even though they're trying to change.. sigh. wHAT? h. how is he here?? HOW IS SHE HERE??? ...does MePhone look different from how he was in the first half of s2? it's been a bit since I watched that but I swear there's something different about him. oh, new intrthe island is alive. warp pipe.

2 - yup sure :) 👍 right okay BOW is glitching now. something to do with chairs and maybe she lost her memories? she was obsessed with chairs before she died, so..oh fuck I'm taking as many notes as Cabby huh

3 - oh I thought I had something to say about this one. sorry

4 - if the floor gets eliminated, how will that work? .yo WHAT is going on with candleMUMBO JUMBO CATCHPHRASE ... I. I don't think that's what polishing a screen does.?

5 - what if Box wins lol ..oh. wait there was no formal elimination, I guess that got replaced with Box being pulled this episode

6 - them ,,,,,they,both of them,, the cool(s) -> ☯

7 - well call me a camera because [screenshots the auras file]. . . . . . . . . . a. ..nobody knows about this joke yet but if I had a- uh. nickel. for every time a series I know about had a character named Bow with trigger words, I would have two nickels. which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice what is going on with Bow and chairs. HEY MARSHMALLOW TOO?? yes I will keep doing this strikethrough bit

8 - oh fuck I just realized. "iii" as in Inanimate Insanity Invitational but also as in 3 (roman numeral) because it's season 3. also just based on the title I have a bad feeling about this episode (<-half-right??) wait WHAT. MePhone what the fuck does that rnean. whhaaAAAA- oh. agdjhk s ghdclod damn it the commercial is pLOT RELEVANT. hhhhey quick question. how uh. how do we know that everyone's back in the right body..? like. there were some characters who weren't onscreen after they all died again. uhh

9 - th. this episode is probably not like. actually worse than the other ones or anything. but, with the bias I had already formed because I distrust people with the name of the one this episode is a collab with, some stress I was already feeling today before even starting this liveblog, something Balloon said at around 9:14, said pre-liveblog stress making me associate the whole "animation machine" thing (which is seen as bad) with something I like but everyone else hates, I personally have nothing good to say about it.

10 - why is Cabby gold. oh it's whoever has the Immunity Cookie. wait did Cabby forget about TBD because her file was burned??

11 - bat? pokemon. the game you're thinking of is pokemon. wait did he say backstab HOW DOES HE KNOW CANDLE SAW BETRAYAL?? ..yeah I was wondering how that would work

12 - I knew it. I knew Cabby would forget stuff that isn't in a file! urghhh can they Please vote out silver spoon already. he's not gonna WIN, right?? sorry. but I don't like him.

13 - oh the intro reflected Bot's change in appearance. neat! nononoononoNONOONNO GAUhokay. listen I know it's probably not going to happen but I really want YinYang to win. and holy shit that "for the rest of your life" was foreshadowing.

14 - okay off to a start that makes me want to punch something. okay. okay. it's not a real ad. good. HUH HE GLITCHED holy shit, damn uzumaki lookin rooms what is this /positive(?) ☯ 👈 GRIAN INSTINCT (which. to be fair, mood). p u r p l e . PURPLE ACKNOWLEDGED. WHAT WAS THAT! ohhh what the hell. you fuck off this INSTANT you silver shitface. ohh I hate him. I hate him more than I hate Cobs. ..does Cabby not have parents? SPLRINGY IS FAKE. SPRINGY IS A ROBOT OR SOMETHING MADE BY COBS I'M CALLING IT NOW. please please please kill the spoon kill the spoon plEASE- ARRGHHH

15 - seeing as the next episode has Blueberry in the thumbnail and is called The Great Bluish Bake Off, I have a slight prediction on who will win the rejoin. wait what. yeah I'm gonna be honest I don't think it was murder. NO NONONOONO DON'T NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAUGHHH,,,,,

16 - why....why am I finding Nickel so relatable. w h a t . now I've never had oatmeal raisin cookies, but I don't think they're the Number One Cause of global warming. I know it's a cartoon and awHAT THE HELL HE JUST DIED

(between 16 and 17) m. MePhone knows. MePhone knows what's going to happen when the season ends, doesn't he? that's why he doesn't want it to. that's why he's desperate. but the question remains, what does he know that the viewers don't?

17 - wait this episode is from 10 months ago. is- is the series not over? damn it! I prefer to binge watch stuff so I don't forget while waiting for new episodes. oh don't even fucking go there. 14:01 FUCK OFF.

(between 17 and 18) y'know I was trying to watch this to ESCAPE all the drama and discourse everyone hates me for. this just feels personal at this point. but hey, who cares about me, right? onto the next damn episode!

18 - there's another 4 under that 4. are they all 4s. ohhh noooo, what an inteeense moooooment. wow it's really fucking difficult to care right now.

19 - again final episode so I'll break this into sections. kinda

..,.Cabby..I think I understand a bit more about my own..situation because of Cabby. wait wait. "built" to? BUILT to?? HMMMMMM 4S is still here?? what ??? ? well at least the one that YinYang wanted to win won..!

and that's season 3 huh.

well. that was kinda filler? tbh?

and the message in episode 17 sucked- ..eh. hold on. I'm getting too angry over some discourse. I need a break from typing this.

okay after like half an hour I realized something. they were trying to win an award. I like AI art, but I don't think it should ever win any awards in competition with human art. the two are fundamentally different. I don't think there should be any competitions that have both, especially high prestige ones. that line at 14:0whatever was too far though.

my opinion is that human art and AI art are both art. but they're VERY different forms of art, and should probably be kept that way.

overall I liked the season. sure, YinYang didn't win and episodes 9 and 17 are...like that. but it's not that bad tbh.

probably gonna watch the rest of s2 tomorrow, but for now I just want to play minecraft.

#the fuck up won't shut up!#ii #ii invitational #inanimate insanity #there's a bit of a rant about #ai discourse #in here so I'll tag that.

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synthshenanigans · 8 months ago

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hey so remember how I made color palettes based on the TMPH? well all the songs are out now so here's a crap ton of color palettes based on all the Power Hours!! :D

I might use em myself but if anyone else uses them, please tag me in your post!!! I'd love to see what you do with it :D

Also because I'm a nerd & I like explaining things, where I got the names for them are below if anyone curious bout them :}

TMPH:

Page one is more obvious; it just being the song title. The second page is named with Acts like how the first three songs were titled [both in CJs & in the original]. The entire acts all together is named Ego, hence the bottom being named Ego. And then all of the Ego/Acts together spell C.A.N. & as CJ said in the Directors Commentary, it funnily enough matches with his old YouTube channel name "Can of Soup" [or DJ soup I think it is now].

THDPH:

There aren't as many palettes since there wasn't much I could grab from sadly. But the names are more creative at least.

•Pocket Aces- Shutup Your Stupid: "Maybe I'll shoot my shot at one of those handsome faces. Have a couple drinks, make my stance advantageous; play my pair of Pocket Aces"

•Kismet's Call- Evl Ppl: "Our habits and our rituals aren't half as stacked as Kismet's Call"

•Coloring & Additives- Savages: "Savages! Who work with ratios and averages; Governments, establishments, Coloring and Additives"

•Course & Rough- A Drink to Death: "We were nice, but now I'm Coarse and Rough"

•Casa Infierno- Chonny's Inferno: "Perhaps a snack or beverage, on the house, from Casa Infierno"

•Unintentional Impression- Shutup Your Stupid: "He does his best Impression of me, says it came out 'Unintentionally' "

WWPH-

First page is again just the song titles. Page two is lines from some of the songs [Top two are Laplace's Angel & the bottom two are Memento Mori]. And page three is from the lyric "Heaven. Hell. Nirvana. Nothing. No one knows how it ends" from Memento Mori.

CJPH-

First three on page two are just song titles [Push should technically be labeled Don't Take it Personally but I named it wrong & only realized till just now 🙃. But oh well its too late now]. The bottom two are words from The Lie of Black and White.

•Misery: " 'Every moment I wait substantiates my Misery' "

•Melody: "Every person on Earth deserves to sing their Melody"

Page two is all for Push [or what should have been Push but i fucked up lol]. Streamers are colors from the party streamers on him. Makeup is the colors he used for his makeup [as best I can tell]. And Charcoal is for the charcoal soap goop on him. Buuuuut lets pretend it based on the line "My wrist and my heart where you kissed, pulled apart till it burns like Charcoal" from DTiP. Just so I feel less like an idiot.

Maybe ill post what photos I got the colors from if I feel like it. But if anyone's curious on a specific one, you can send an ask or smth & I'll gladly tell you :}

#this oddly took a good about of time to make #the bg detail top & corner things alone took me like an hour an a half for some reason #also this is like the second or third time i made color palettes so idk how good they actually are #but uh have fun with em if you can!#chonny jash #moss post #cj tmph #cj thdph #cj wwph #cjph #-atlas art-#technically art yea id say so

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mecachrome · 7 months ago

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very selfishly would love more of ur thoughts on oscar accommodating and mirroring lando.... as an insane landoheadTM ive been watching lando slowly match oscar's energy in the past year and its been driving me insane and ur SO right that oscars done the same thing!! kind of crazy kind of losing my mind would love to get more thoughts out of u

!!!!!!!!! hi kira i would LOVE 2 talk about this. also this answer may or may not be 2k words long

god there are so many Angles and Frameworks and Contexts through which it is possible to examine 814's dynamic that i constantly feel unhinged about it. and probably sound unhinged as well…… pls note that all of this is pure insanity from my insaneperson brain ⚠️ ;__; ok where to begin.

to me the thing about 814 mirroring each other is that in reality it's actually a metaphor for many different things ❗️ on one hand you can interpret it Literally as in a strictly physical sense—the idea of mirroring someone as running parallel and positioning yourself firmly opposite each other, as constructing intricate rituals in order to NOT touch the skin of other men, being so specifically magnetically repulsed that any contact is accidental and fleeting and causes you to spring away as quickly as you'd met. but then there is also the other sense of mirroring that is….. more amorphous and conceptual, e.g. how oscar has in many ways indirectly orbited lando his entire career and how although they've only been teammates for a year now lando has technically been a primary reference point of his throughout a majority of his teens. AND what i think is so interesting about that too is that if you look back at oscar's Evolution As A Person, you could argue that he's been purely Himself As He Is Now for a very long time... yes there've been minute fluctuations in maturity and just general cringeness and muscle growth and cheek fat etc. etc. but at least outwardly in how he communicates with other people and displays his mentality / innate habits / mannerisms he's basically been his fully realized adult self since he was like 17??? which obviously cannot be said of lando norris who has grown massively in appearance and perspective and assuredness and so on from the ages of 17 to 21 to 24. yet this constantly evolving & changing your_choice_of_lorde_album Growing Pains lando has always been a sort of distant static fixed point in the future of oscar's mind… hmmm. that's just part of it tho

basically 814 as they are now are sooo fascinating to me because again They Do Not (Consciously) Touch but they've still very gradually managed to build off the foundations of oscar's subconscious teenage mirroring by turning it into something… well perhaps not quite fully intentional (and isn't that almost better in the end!!!) but certainly more self-aware and generally conscious. basically: the Negative Space of landoscar's demonstrated "affection" is where their reciprocity lies! if that makes sense.

and i guess what i'm trying to get at is that… on surface level, it's easy to say that 1) Oscar has always only ever been himself (generally true) and that 2) As the guy who came into f1 at 19 and was continuously expected to meet his more extroverted teammates' energies lando is the one who's habituated to experiencing marked change (also fairly true), but this still obfuscates equally important facets of their personalities: i.e. that oscar may be the more ~intellectually~ inclined of the two (which also who Cares. completely totally off-topic LOL but personal pet peeve of mine is people acting like there is a discernible difference between a-level maths and whatever private tutoring lando did after dropping out when their job title is lichrally F1 Driver…?! both are negligible fractions of fractions of whatever postgrad coursework the team's Actual engineers have done!!! but anyway), my personal argument is that really oscar is so consistently himself BY having zero concept of himself. whereas lando….. actually does possess a very strong inner character and intense, at times destabilizing self-awareness but also boasts a higher eq that enables a very high capability for social camouflage.

……????????? this is like a 10-paragraph intro. What am i getting at.

so basically. Yes. mutual accommodation……. i think my main point is that despite lando's strong baseline character and idiosyncrasies and particularities and fussiness and general weirdness, He Can, when necessitated, (as long as it doesn't completely contradict his moral impulse etc. etc.) soften that edge and adapt to another person's expectations—Even if just to maintain bearable social rapport & conversation. whereas on the other hand oscar can sometimes actually be a lot more malleable because he doesn't really hold strong conviction in much outside the few non-negotiables in his life ??? (read: racing...) like yes he's still competitive in challenges and is pedantic as shit but also he kind of just Doesn't care……. so basically he's the perfect fit for lando. because he DOESN'T expect anything from lando and lando DOESN'T need to camouflage himself for oscar and because oscar interprets things straight-forwardly and at face value and reads lando's intentions in good faith and honestly probably like 30% of lando's overthinking is a result of people constantly assuming the worst of him so i think on some level it's like 👉 👈 when you're both a little weird and also weird in these little different ways but in the end those minute shifts are what make you compatible and fit you back together again ?!?!?!? as i said it's the negative space of it all.

so really landoscar are not totally "opposites attract" but they're also not identical "mctwins" or whatever because Nuance and Secret Third Thing and what's truly critical about their mirroring is basically that 1) they don't EXPECT the other person to do it 2) they don't INTENTIONALLY do it and 3) it only happens because they're intensely aware of the other person's personality and mannerisms and appearances... bref IT'S ABOUT THE CATALOGUING!! like lando saw oscar in 2023 for the first time and immediately went oh you've gotten taller? oh you have big arms now? and they can't help pointing out each other's hair and ALSO >portrait painting (gets ko'd) "do you like purple?" "...uhhhh i can do now" like WHO SAYS THAT? ANDDDDD this was after oscar had picked purple to begin with but lando was like Nooo you can't do that :/ so oscar changed even though he'd argued that he'd "already committed to it" literal moments prior. Many such cases (i'm not finding a chair anyone?). they make me feel insane.

right let me just finish up with a few more moments (if you're still reading i'm sorry) but Vocabgifset is kind of a rough overview of how, at the very beginning, i think oscar did come in with a very undefined approach to How To Be A Teammate ? and was ready to treat lando as he'd treated rob and logan and fred and whomever and maybe even reflecting the atmosphere as reserve at alpine a little bit idk—essentially more visibly abrasive and pedantic and generally annoying. Also (ahem) perhaps how he'd seen lando act around carlos and daniel before... Guy who has carlando tweets in his twitter likes. 😔

but of course lando REALLYYY doesn't like being unnecessarily corrected over ultimately inconsequential things and again his demeanor is far from bombastic when it hasn't been demanded of him, so i think oscar quickly recognized that in his character and learned to just play along with what lando liked and wanted—not because he was preoccupied with lando getting annoyed at him or thought that lando was sensitive or whatever and not because he himself is a pushover because of course there is a healthy & endearing amount of push/pull to their dynamic but just because he sincerely respects lando and with that respect understood that he didn't need to "force" their dynamic when it would prosper by just being himself and more importantly letting lando be himself……….. Or something.

which imo is basically the basis of their current communication style: a lot of wordless meaningful looks & expressions (because they're both entirely honest people in different ways) (SEE: VIRGIN RADIO UK) (the thing Is that lando has no verbal filter but oscar is the one with 0 control of his expressions and deeply revealing permablush), oscar always folding to whatever lando says in an interview, jumping into frame and following along lando's message in the british f4 anniversary video, listening to lando's music through the walls of their driver rooms, and of course any instance of their Soft Talking Voices such as → "yeahhh you're up there" "aww (genuinely a little pleased and flustered)" and CAT 5 behind the scenes smoothie convo and oscar patiently waiting for lando to finish speaking and not wanting to enforce his presence but always being there and ready to help him….. like the worst part 2 me of the "well-represented" video is that andrea turns to lando first and tries to help him but lando is Still processing and Not listening so THEN he looks at oscar to be like um i don't know the word and that's when andrea looks back at oscar expectantly 🥲😭😩!!!!!!!! what if i dyed. honestly. the category is truly just oscar being susceptible to Lando Norris…………… i could go on.

also >RANDOM MOMENT TOTALLY NOT IMPORTANT but the yes/no challenge is so devastating on every conceivable level and yet One thing that i do not think is discussed enough! is the way oscar physically leans into lando's space on the table every time it's his turn to answer the questions and Specifically how in round 1 the media people were trying to get his attention to tell him to put the mic pack into his pocket but he was soooooooooo focused and fixated on lando's face right up until lando turned to speak to the camera that he didn't notice for like 3 minutes. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. argh. the problem with oscar is that he's SINCERE. truly. "are you ready oscar piastri?" [zero hesitation whatsoever] "i am ready lando norris 🥰"

of course it's not like oscar doesn't introspect whatsoever because obviously he is very capable of self-assessing when something is important by an objective measure of success (aka recognizing deficits over a lap), but relative to lando's specific brand of overthinking & online lurking habits then oscar very much does.... basically underthink??? yes he overcomplicates simple ideas by being too literal but really as a person & conscious being he's great at living in the Present and filtering out excess noise. er... i won't delve too much into the ojp Learned Behaviors of it all and why he's so charming to older people specifically but basically Wwyd if an F1 driver microdosed autisticswag? joking. mostly. but i def agree re: your tags that oscar is never actually consciously trying to be a WELL AKSHUALLY guy because it's just fundamental expressive compulsion alkdsfhaldfh.

also specifically one of my favorite tiny little 814 things OAT is when lando says something unexpected or ridiculous and oscar parrots it back all high-pitched and breathily and disbelievingly like? Girl. this is super jank but perhaps you understand....... 😔

in the end it's getting asked >what have you picked up from lando and oscar saying Well everyone hmmms but not in the Special Multifaceted Uniquely Expressive way that Lando does ! whom I not only know well enough to intimately recognize this mannerism from but have also elected to mention multiple times in this interview. and at the end of the day...? maybe that's romanze

is this anything… idk. also i offer you the jankiest gif ever because i had to remove zbrown to fit them together (Which perhaps is also a metaphor for reaching each other Across The Distance NO PHYSICALITY REQUIRED!! ok i can't just keep saying see: [another random ass example] so i'll stop now but also see: eyebrow raise knowing smile at the end of the sim city video.) anyway why's this such another crasyinsane little moment of how they communicate with each other?! is it just me ?????????

alskfhsfd ok i'm so sorry. thank u for letting me ramble incessantly 🧡

#ask #814 meta

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atlitudes · 3 months ago

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I'm Cataloging Every Occurrence of the Piano in Malevolent in a Spreadsheet for Leitmotif Analysis. No, I'm Not Kidding.

As the title of this post reads, I've spent the last few weeks listening to every episode of Malevolent and logging every time the piano is heard (both within the story and as background score), to analyze the data for leitmotif/music based theory-crafting. I originally was planning on getting through the entire series before posting anything, but I am very quickly realizing that this is going to take me a while, and I start a new semester in two weeks, so there is a high likelihood I will not finish before I get too busy to chug through as many episodes a day as I am now. I'm on episode 16/44 and I've already logged 137 instances of piano music. I'm not even halfway done. And this is all I've been doing for the past multiple days. For this reason, I've decided to post the link to the spreadsheet before finishing.

If you're familiar with Malevolent, and just how much music is in it, you might be asking, "OP, are you utterly fucking insane?" And well, dear reader, the answer to that is probably yes, but while you might call it madness, I call it love. So, before getting into the meat of things, I wanted to explain why I even decided to do this. Spoilers ahead for Malevolent (obvious, but yeah). If you don't give a single shit about why I did this and want to get straight to the sheet, scroll to the bottom for the link.

So. About 2 weeks ago I finished my first listen-through of Malevolent. One thing about the most recent episodes struck me as very very significant: John and Arthur's "collective force" being titled as the Dies Irae.

Now, a full-bodied explanation of why I find this so important and the possible implications will come at a later date, but long story short, the Dies Irae is a very significant piece of musical literature-- it is, perhaps, the most commonly quoted leitmotif of the past 800 years, and it symbolizes death. So, understandably, the Themes of this kinda sent me down a spiral.

But the Dies Irae being mentioned in such a way also got me thinking: music is a pretty integral part of Malevolent. So, is the Dies Irae quoted anywhere in its soundtrack? I suddenly got very very excited at this prospect, particularly if it might be in Faroe's Song, because well... god that would hurt lol. I scoured the available songs on the bandcamp aaaaand... no luck (as far as I can tell). Regardless, even if the Dies Irae wasn't a part of the soundtrack, I became curious about what kind of leitmotifs were in the podcast, and what they might mean. And so, the spreadsheet was born.

I explain this in the User Guide part of the sheet (please read it before going through the rest btw), but I only track the piano parts of the podcast. The reason for this is two-fold:

First, score wise, piano is very easy for me to pick apart, and I don't see a lot of significance in the suspenseful string music for horror moments (though I don't deny there might be something to it, I simply won't be able to find it.) To me, the piano is also significantly more important than the strings because it's a notable part of the story-- Arthur and his relation to the instrument is a key part of the plot, and multiple of the piano compositions are made by him. For this reason, I found tracking the piano in the podcast worthwhile.

Second, I also don't touch any of the non-original radio tracks in the podcast (i.e. You Call It Madness (I Call It Love)) because this video by The Final Fantasmagorie already does an excellent job of covering them (please check it out!!), and I felt it would be redundant, especially considering the astronomical amount of ground I already have to cover. If these tracks start being featured as leitmotifs in the piano music then... well, I might change my mind, but so far, no dice.

If I noticed a non-piano piece of music (such as the wraith humming in Ep3) that I haven't found any analysis of whatsoever, I also noted it just so there was some record. Other than that, just piano tracks.

Explanations and disclaimers out of the way, here is the link to the spreadsheet. I might open it up to comments and/or editors at some point, but for now, it's just available to viewers. Once again, please read the disclaimer and user guide before the rest of the sheets.

Thanks for reading, I know this was a very long post, and I appreciate it if you've beared with me! Enjoy!

#malevolent podcast #malevolent #malevolent theory #malevolent spoilers #arthur lester #john doe malevolent #john doe #arthur lester malevolent

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valeriianz · 4 months ago

Note

For the fic writer asks:

4. Obviously you did research for BitB. I'd love you to ramble about it if you like I'm sure you've got STORIES

5. Did you outline it?

7. How'd you decide it would be Hob's pov?

25-27 I'd love to know a/some favorite lines, details, and any lore you might want to share

omg TJ what wonderful questions! thank you!! this is going to get LONG!

4: Rambling about research!

do you wanna see a screen shot of my bookmarks under my "band au" folder?

man, and that's only what could fit on the screen.

there is... SO MUCH i chose to ignore for this fic. ideas that i had to drop, lines or extra details about the other band members equipment. more logistics, what Lucienne actually does, what Mervyn has to put up with as the new touring stage manager... i realized very early on that i couldn't possibly cram all this (super cool and eye opening) information into the fic and still keep reader's interest and, most importantly, to not stray away from the fact that this is a dreamling fic. whenever i felt myself getting carried away with a side character or job or even social media numbers, gossip, outside POVs, i had to reign myself in and get back on track. there will be time for exploring everything i missed in side stories after BitB is finished. i just hope i still have the energy to write it all.

once, i was so deep into research that after publishing chapter 2, i went into work and when my chef asked what "GA" meant on my prep list, i answered with full confidence, "general admission."

(it means "get ahead.")

the worst part of this entire writing process is im still learning new shit. i havent rewatched or read a lot of what i've saved because, to be very honest, i was feeling a little burnt out. it's why we're kinda full steam dreamling now. it's why ive been glossing over a lot of technical stuff and being vague about conversations amongst the crew/not including it at all. i don't prefer ignoring my research, but at the end of the day i want to still enjoy writing this fic and finish it. even if i can't be as descriptive and detailed and nuanced as i used to be.

5: Did you outline the fic?

(also asked by @hardly-an-escape!)

i wouldn't call what i have a proper "outline," it's more like a 20k word document filled to the brim with notes that i skim at least a dozen times while i'm writing a new chapter (being in my brain is literally hell). i live multichapter life very dangerously. i copy and paste lines or sections (always scattered, never together! augh!) that are meant to go together and plop them in a new document titled "band au ch.#" and then i structure the chapter around what i want to happen.

but to answer this question in the plainest of terms: yeah. i know exactly what's going to happen up until the very end. even if its all in my head and the only concrete shit that's written down are beats/plot points. i'll figure out the rest later!

7: How'd you decide it would be Hob's POV?

i actually never even considered writing it from Dream's POV. this was my first fic in the fandom (which is so nuts to think about lol) and writing in Dream's POV sounded so scary lol. i also just thought Hob's would be easier because i have worked a few backstage shows, back in my college years. i figured eh, i can make this work. and i loved exploring how weird and mysterious musicians can be, from a normie's POV. making Hob a fan first and having him worry about developing a parasocial relationship... it was fun to explore.

25: Share your favorite line

oh god, i have so many haha.

“What are you thinking about?” starting in ch.2 and onward lmao

“It’s–” Dream laughs quietly, bitterly. “I don’t like change.” He says each word with emphasis, eyes trailing down to fixate somewhere past Hob. “And I still hold onto the things I can control, like my instruments–” his eyes swing up to regard Hob apologetically. “Or my clothes or my–” he brings a hand up and wiggles his fingers around his head. “My hair.” ch.4

"His majesty is pleased." ch.5

“You are obsessive,” he states, slow and cool and with a quiet smile cracking through his composure. “Just like me.” ch.7

“You look good.” Hob has to lean in to say so, unwilling to raise his voice amongst the roar of the fans. ch.11

“Del looks like porcelain, but she’s actually made of steel.” Desire swirls the contents of their glass before pushing their shoulders back with a deep breath. “She's tougher than all of us.” ch.11

“Everything. I want…” his fingers tighten in Hob’s hair, pulling him closer, speaking against his lips. “…Everything.” ch.14

26: Share your favorite detail

how intentionally coy Dream behaves. i love keeping him a mystery and deciding when and how much to allow his intentions to peek through has been so fun lol.

Despair is in fact covered in tattoos and piercings! i say this because i feel like sometimes i forget lmao. (but also her and Hob don't interact much so. my bad haha).

Delirium's constant explosion of color in the way she dresses <3

Hob's dedication to his job, Dream, and the people he cares about the most. i don't care if people think i'm making him too soft and good, im gonna project on that man and make him a sweet, sweet simp lmao

and ah, this doesn't matter anymore, and i kinda regret doing it but. i originally had Dream's favorite bass all black but the pickguard was white. so it actually looked like Jessamy. not gonna lie when @designtheendless drew it all black i decided i liked it better that way. and truly i do. that's when i went back to ch.1 and changed it haha. to actually see the guitar with Dream, all done up sparkling black and purple flecks... gosh it's just so him. but then i got up to the reveal that the guitar's name was Jessamy and i was like, "oh, right." lmao. no one seems to care so i'll leave it be.

27: Share a piece of lore you made up for the story

i have a lot lmao. and this post is already so long... im hoping i can get to some if not all of it in side fics in the future. but for now, here's some that's more like headcanons but:

Dream hates flying. he can full on go into panic attacks on the plane if he allows himself to get into his own head.

this was mentioned briefly in ch.4, while Dream was discussing the formation of the band, but Despair was in another band before joining Endless. she is the only character in the fic who gets to keep her English roots (lol sorry) and is the oldest in the band (30).

all of the band members ages: Dream, Desire, and Death are all 28 and Delirium is 22.

Dream can experience subdrop after going too hard during a performance.

Dream paints his own nails, it's very therapeutic.

as an exercise, i explored my own headcanons for Dream in this verse in a word doc, and one thing i will share from it that you might find interesting: If I were to ever give Dream a theological values, I would describe him as a satanist. He is a physical and pragmatic person, nonconforming, and although he is introverted, he enjoys being a part of a community (he loves his band).

also found this in my notes: How Desire and Dream got along was Death making them fight it out. Hob raises an eyebrow “like in a brawl?” He couldn't imagine Desire throwing hands. “No, in a pillow fight that escalated in hair pulling and verbal taunts.”

fic writer asks

#yooooo #this took me a long time to answer lol #i gotta go to bed but #THANK YOU SO MUCH TJ!!#dreamling #(why not. there's a lot here let put it out into the main tag!)#fic: bolt in the blue #im so satisfied ahhh thanks again #:)

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befuddledcinnamonroll · 4 months ago

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The rare episode 13! Let's see how we go.

Ok, yes, this is cute, but all I can think of is how at my age, if I slept like this, my back would be so fucked.

I do love how much they love being together. This is what matters, not if/when they choose to put a label on things.

This man is never going to be sending mixed messages, and I love him for it.

It's so funny to me how I did not connect with Winny & Satang in MSP, but now I am so in love with them both.

Not that they were at all bad in MSP, I just really feel these characters so much more. And I do think the time they've spent together since then shows in the chemistry.

Ok, this is such a little detail, but part of why I love this show.

Because Toey knew Q & Peem through mentoring & the art program, and he knew Phum & Fang from childhood, but he met Pun via all the rest, and yet they are clearly friends who are comfortable teasing one another. Just like Beer showing up here to practice with Chain & Q - he's friends with them regardless of Phum. Friendship, and found family, and the fact that you can just keep growing these relationships into this beautiful tree of connection when you find your people... it's so lovely.

This honestly makes me curious about New's friendships, because I feel like he must have some absolutely wonderful people in his life, and that makes me happy.

Y'know Chain, you wouldn't need to be so obsessed with other people's relationships if you just smooshed the man right in front of you.

All the friend teasing is so adorable. Also Phuwin is the king of perfect facial expressions.

CHAIN!!! Stop being cute and just hit on him directly already!!

Poor baby Pun is so confused, he does not have the braincells to understand this level of flirting.

Omg, can we talk about how beautifully Tan & Fang match while keeping their own aesthetics?!

Goddamn I love this show!!

The love rival is a fully formed human who is not just there for drama (and Title is nailing the balance of slightly bothersome but also rather sweet), he respects Peem's autonomy and asks for consent, and we're reinforcing that self love should come above adoration for another! Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Hmmm, normally I don't like "misunderstandings" as a contrivance to keep couples apart, but I feel like it fits here. There's still a disconnect in the emotional intimacy between these two, and they can't be boyfriends until they figure out how to navigate it. Peem wants to be someone Phum can rely on unconditionally, and be completely vulnerable with, but Phum still struggles with seeing people's love for him as conditional, and thinks that doing the wrong thing can "ruin" a relationship.

Always, always there. The true love story of this show.

You two are killing me.

Please don't make us wait until the last episode. I can't take it!

Oh dear, Phum is so emotionally fragile... not sure playing games with him is a good idea, Q.

How is Toey is the emotionally mature one here?

Holy shit, y'all, this scene. This show just told the misunderstanding trope to go fuck itself!

The openness, the vulnerability, the honesty, the communication. The showing of what genuine love and caring looks like. I'm crying.

Toey, you are such a goof, but I love you anyway.

Lol, realizing Peem isn't just a dom but also a little bit of a sadist explains a lot.

Cuuuuute.

Ooh, I like this framing.

Ha, I really thought they were going to cliffhanger Peem's response. This show has been such a tease so many times.

#we are the series #we are

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agirlwholovesrockstars · 7 months ago

Text

smile idiot, I love you

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

• Summary : you called Eddie because you've been so down lately nothing brightens you up whatever you try to do but he only leads you to disappointment

• Word Count : mini fics for a reason hehe

• Warnings : 18+ Bestfriend!Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, cursing, reader and Eddie are both (20), use of y/n, self-doubt, overthinking, worrying about the future, just a dash of personal family problems, slight allusions to su*cide, not feeling good enough, Eddie can be a real idiot on this lol, reader is just really having a bad week and she needs someone to comfort her, that's it

• What to Expect : friends to lovers, angst and fluff

• Note To Reader : I'm trying to write more as I can here! so, I hope you'll appreciate it! 🥺🫶🏻✨ also I kinda projecting myself on this fic :')) I just wish there's someone like Eddie in my highschool life, but the problem is I am Eddie in highschool 😭

• Author Note : actually, the fic title itself has a history on my middle school days, it's what I quote to my crush for over (10 years 👀) HELP HAHAHA yeah I still do have a crush on that specific person until now anyways enough about me, I just realized that little phrase is so perfect for Eddie hehe

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You're now entering adulthood

Well, a young adult

Sooner or later, you'll be 21 and feeling like you haven't accomplished anything yet

You feel young but also at the same time you feel old

You know it is wrong to be worrying about your future because you're ignoring what you're having right now

You can't lie to yourself for it, you're grateful and thankful for all the blessings that come into your life

You got healed by all of things that scarred and traumatized you, the things that made you feel insecure about your looks and from all of the people who betrayed you before?

Your past self will still be self-loathing, low-esteem and still keep holding grudges

But now, you made peace with that like truthfully

You have never been more so comfortable and confident in your whole life after all of the things that happened back in when you we're 14

You seriously just can't help that you're like stuck in the middle didn't know which road or path that you will take over

Many people say that is okay if you don't have anything yet, is it that much more exciting?

But sometimes the fear comes first on you like you think about it a lot

What if this is it?

What if this is who you will be with all of your life?

College life, finding and looking for a job, trying anything you possibly can to earn money for your needs

It's all coming too fast it's like what they say, "Take a good care of treasuring your moments while still in your teens because time moves speedily"

It's true, you feel like you just had your 18 birthday yesterday and now all of the sudden you woke up and now you're 20

You're reaching your 20's and can't help but also worrying about your relationship status

Your family and everyone who is close to you are expecting you to be married

"Snap out of it!" You vocally told yourself to shut up your running mind

You close the door behind you

But before you take the stairs heading to your bedroom, you want to talk about how you feel with your parents

The moment you're about to open the sliding doors in the backyard, you overheard your parents arguing with each other

You frown and slumped your shoulders

You decided against it, so, you grip tightly on your bag and walk upstairs to your bedroom

You closed the door, you pressed your back on it and sliding down to sit on the carpeted floors of your bedroom and then threw your bag on your chair and you deeply sighed

You facepalmed yourself as your mind goes running a muck

You glanced at the telephone on your bedside table

Should you call Eddie?

Nah, he doesn't even want to be a part of your problem, you don't want to be a burden

The time when you get comfortable around Eddie, it feels like you can tell many things to him and he won't even judge you for it

The thing is that, you both haven't crossed that line in the level of friendship

You haven't showed your side of vulnerability and of course, he hasn't seen you sad like this

There's a splash of embarrassing feeling that is crawling under your skin and also you know you will regret opening up to him because you aren't used to it anymore

You used to be vocal about how you really feel to some of your friends

But since one of them betrayed you

Used your personal problems against you and shamed you for it, told somebody else about it and it saddens you and angers you

It changed everything, now, it's so hard to trust everybody for you

Ever since you and Eddie started your friendship, you've been itching to give him a glimpse of you that sometimes your life isn't happy-go-lucky most of the time

You can keep it to yourself, you know sometimes it isn't right to cling on somebody if you feel like this, you need to help yourself too

But now, you need it, you need someone else to listen

The muffled noises outside of your room, you could them more clearly behind the closed door, they still have the same heated argument, you think they went inside now

Your stomach grumbles, you really don't want to go down there while they're still having a fit but you sigh as you stand up and twist the doorknob open

They're in the living room as you headed towards the kitchen

You saw the plate that your mom prepared for you, you take it and grab a bottle of apple juice as you went back to your room quietly

"Hey, young lady!" Your dad shouted out to you as he loudly stomps, you flinched on the middle of the stairs

"Just leave her alone!"

"Why do you go to your room all the time, huh?!? Why don't you just eat in the dining table where you supposed to be?!?"

You hang your head low, you didn't speak but you can feel your heart racing

"Look at your kid! Our child is misbehaving and treating a lot of matters with disrespect"

"She is not acting like that-"

"She doesn't even talk to her parents!"

You still went on your bedroom finally but your tears are now clouding your vision as you placed your food at the small table in front of your bed

You glanced at the phone again and this time you didn't even hesitated, you dialed his telephone number as you collected yourself first and keep your breathing lowly

You're still sniffling and your tears still running down on your cheeks

You're too overwhelmed with everything

Your heart is about to explode of how much is going on right now, you feel like he doesn't gonna pick up the phone until few minutes later

"Hello?"

His voice lightens you up the moment you heard it

You cleared your throat "Eddie?" Your winced at your voice croaked

"Hey there, sweetheart!" He doesn't even notice how small your voice is

You mustered up and plastered a fake smile as if he can see you behind the phone

"Uh- I'm good, Eddie"

You can see him how he nods behind the phone as he spoke again "I miss you by the way"

Your eyes went wide to his words despite at how disastrous you look, your cheeks bloom in red

He missed you like a friend, right? Not the other way around?

"W-what?!?"

"I said I miss you!" He chuckles and it shoots more butterflies into your stomach at the sound of it

You squeezed your shut as your lips tug into a small smile as you wipe the residue tears from your face as you take a deep breath

You ignore the thrilling feeling that you're having right now as you ask him straight away

"Can you come over?" Your voice cracks as your eyes start to dart everywhere and hoping that he'll do it

You didn't even care if you sounded so weak at this point

You could hear him shuffling and making rustling sounds

You furrow your brows "Eddie, what are you doing?"

"I'm getting ready to come over" you can hear the keys to his van jingling

But before you can protest he said before he hanged up

"See you later, sweetheart"

"Are you sure-" the line went off as you stare at the phone with excited smile on your face

You freshen up and went in with your comfy sleepwear, you wore a strapped lavender top and short as you pull a cream cardigan sweater

You saw him parked in front of your house as you jogged towards the front door

Thank goodness, your parents are asleep they would never hear him coming

You unlocked and swing the door open before he can ring the doorbell

Your favorite smile of his appears as he saw you, he didn't even think twice of you hugging you

He also didn't noticed your lost eyes and your feeling blue expression

He lets himself inside as you manage to give him a smile

You told him to keep his voice low as you tell him your parents are asleep but he does his antics as always as you let out a genuine giggle

His eyes softens as he heard that a lot of times you hang out together

You both sat down on the couch as goes on with his usual rambling about his band and his D&D campaign

It's almost 8pm and you haven't told him what's the reason why he is here

Maybe, he thought that you called him to catch up with the things that you both missed out on for not bonding for the last 2 weeks

"E-Eddie" you tried to get his attention

But he still so very phased with his story to you

"The crowd goes crazy-"

"Eddie!"

He abruptly stops when your voice gets higher than before as you throw your hands up

His eyes goes a lot more bigger to your unusual behavior as he started to shift on his seat

"I'm sorry" you softly say as you look at him briefly on his eyes

"Eddie, I need to talk to you"

"Yeah, we're doing it aren't we? and you just rudely interrupted me"

"That's not-"

He cuts you off and you really don't want to get mad on you only one bestfriend who seems oblivious to what are you dealing now

"Can you recall of what I just said?" He exaggerated his words and becomes more dramatic

"You aren't even listening!" He runs his palms down playfully on his face

You're in disbelief

You tried to mask your shocked expression as you tried to chuckle

Does he even see the longing and need in your eyes?

Does he even know how low you are at the moment?

Or are you maybe picked the wrong person to talk to?

Maybe, you should've asked Max to come over instead of him

He feels that you're oddly quiet as he stopped talking again as he looked at you

He saw an unreadable expression on your face as he tries to understand it

That's the only time when he feels like something is wrong and off about this

He can feel how the atmosphere changed seconds later, he can feel the tension rising up in the air

You start to twiddle with your thumbs as you look down again

"Eddie, I called you to come over because I really need to talk to you"

"Yeah, we haven't seen each other for 2 weeks"

He's right at some points at that but not tonight, you incredulously laugh at him

"I-Isn't that the reason why I am in here?" He is confused as he tries to search for your face as you raised your head slowly

You look right back at him and that's where it hit him

The unreadable expression that he saw earlier, he can see it clearly now

He can see how hurt you look and how upset you are, his words caught up in his throat

That's where he finally realized that you're not doing any good ever since the call that you both had earlier

He feels like he's about to puke from his dumb actions

He can feel the bile forming up on his esophagus as he breath suddenly shudders at the sight of you

"I asked you to come here because I thought you will listen" you paused as you smile sadly at him

"It turns you're insensitive" you scoff as you went in the front door

He wants to hold your hand and ask for forgiveness but you ignore his words as you push him not too hard only for him to get him out of your house

Not giving him another word or a chance to let him talk as you already slammed the door closed as you start running up at the stairs as you let the tears fall

The phone rings is what made Eddie wake up

He groaned and he saw what time it is and now his head is like about to pop how achy it is

He only slept for 2 in a half hours

Did he ruin the friendship?

Is it over?

Did he lost the potential to have something more than friends with you?

His eyes went glassy as the events of last night replays back on his head as he massages his forehead as he picks up the phone

"Hello?" He sounds groggy but the person behind the other line is getting impatient with him

"It's about damn time!" Max's voice made him winced at it

"O-Oh hey, red- what-"

"Eddie, I think you need to check on her"

"Why?"

"Don't ask me questions just get in here!"

"That's my fault-"

"I knew it that you're the cause of it-" she takes a deep breath to calm down

"I-I'm just worried for her, Eddie- she isn't like this, she would've picked up the phone right now but she didn't, I can't contact her and I am literally here on her porch and I feel like she's keeping me away and ignoring me"

Eddie feels like a shit, there's this huge mega ton of weight fell down to his chest as he couldn't even take the guilt of his chest

"So, please, come here and I think you're the only one who can get to her"

"What makes you say that"

"Because, Eddie she has feelings for you"

He frozed and look back at the telephone as if she can see his reaction but he felt the eye roll that she did when Eddie went silent for a bit

"Oh, don't celebrate yet, you haven't talked to her"

"She may not say it to me but I can tell how the way she acts around you, you made her feel welcomed and that's hard for her, Eddie so don't take it by the heart if she goes sometimes harsh on you"

"Nah, red, thanks- I think I deserved the words that she thrown at me last night"

"What's the update?" He says as he watches the red headed girl getting panicked

Max paced back and forth on your front porch with her arms crossed

"There's none and I'm starting to feel unwell now"

Eddie stares at your front door as he thinks "Did you try to open the door?"

She shakes her head "No, I haven't- and also how can you be so calm?!?"

Eddie shushes her "Just be cool"

"I can't be cool" Max whisper-shouts at him as they quietly went inside

They call your name but no response and they look at each other with such suspense in the room and the fear of your state as the longer the silent increases

They climb up the stairs heading towards your bedroom

Eddie pressed the side of his face on the closed door and he hears a faint sound of a running water like a shower is open on your bathroom

He swivel his head quickly at Max as he told him what he heard and Max tenses as she tries to not jump into conclusions

Eddie opens the door to your bedroom only to find your bed is empty and hasn't properly placed back on its order

Your blinds are slightly open, the bathroom door is not fully closed and the light is on

They're starting to get nervous

Eddie spoke your name quietly again as he places his palms against the door as he pushes it further to open it

Max's heart breaks into half when she saw you sitting in the corner of your shower, you're still in your pajamas and it's now wet from the running water while you're crying horribly but the sight of you being somehow okay gives her a relief

She travels her eyes to your sink bunch of tissues everywhere and the weight is off with her chest as you didn't try to do anything

She knew that you have tendencies to do that and she always looks out for you even though you only give her an idea of what you truly felt, you don't elaborate it that much but just by one word, she knows

She just knows

You saw them both together standing in front of your bathroom doorframe that made you cover your face with your hands

Eddie is much more disheartened than last night seeing you like that is a punch to the gut

"I'll leave you to it, I'll stay downstairs" Max whispers to him as she gave him an encouraging smile as she left you both together as he closes the bedroom door

Eddie is determined to fix everything that he should've done last night

He makes his way over to you, you haven't seen him yet when he crouches down to hold you by his side, you flinched and gasp by his touch

Your knit your brows together at him as you eyes went everywhere on his face, he smiles at you and you mirrored his small gesture as he opens his arms as you went with it

He didn't even care if he gets wet like you

The water is now seeping through his clothes and his hair is getting damp but still he doesn't care

You hold onto to him like it was your last breath and that drives him to held you close to him

He rests his chin on the top of your head as you breathe heavily against his chest

"I'm so sorry" He says as his voice wavered as you pulled your brows together as you remove yourself off of him as you look at him in the eyes

"What- Eddie? I should be the one who is sorry because that is so selfish of me, I spoiled the night, you we're excited to tell me everything what I've missed from last 2 weeks and I'm just so self-centered not thinking about you first-"

He shook his head at you as he holds your hand you let him intertwined your fingers to him

"No, don't blame yourself, sweetheart- it's me, I am truly sorry about last night, I wish I could go back and redo the shitty thing that I did to you because I should've known, I should've known because I'm your bestfriend but I wanted to let you know that I do care about you so much, so much that I didn't get to sleep enough today I always think about you and please, please don't ever have doubts talking to me about the stuff that it's nagging with you because you can always be real to me"

You swallow the lump in your throat as you stare at him completely appalled to his words

His chest tightens, is he forgiven or not?

You watch how the water falls to him so perfectly and it's tempting to place your lips onto his, you didn't even thinking about it anymore

You already did

You breath hitches of your sudden action, the cold water seems to be so cold to you as you watch his cheeks turns to a tinge pink

He gave you a look that you don't seem to understand as he cups your cheeks as he returns the kiss

You yelp on the bathroom floor as you both started making out with each other with ragged breaths

He deepens it as he hold you by the waist as you held the back of his neck to pull him much more closer if that's possible

He felt your lips stopped moving as he looks back at you

Are you thinking that this is a mistake?

"Did I do something wrong?" It's a comedy to watch his face turns pale when you suddenly become quiet

"Smile idiot, I love you" you chuckle at him as you saw his shoulders relaxed as he takes a double look at you and what you just said to him

"You love me?!" He points to himself

You nod at him excitedly as you sheepishly smile

"Aww, I love you too, sweetheart- I can't fucking believe this" you giggled when he pulled you to give you another kiss

Max bangs the door that you two stop at what you're both doing

"You two better not get hanky panky in there!"

You both get dried up as you let him use your dad's old clothes

While Max is ordering pizza for lunch, you and Eddie are on the sofa, he's sitting while you're resting on his lap as he drew relaxing circles on your legs as his another hand caressing your head as you continue talking to him

He is attentive and looking at you intently

You told him everything and you see the way his shoulders slump and his eyes flashes with sympathy

"You're the strongest person that I know and I am proud of you, I really do" he kisses your cheek and you smile

"But you gotta remember that life isn't a race, this is not about who is going to be first one to be successful, there are a lot of people who don't know what their plans for their life yet and that is okay, don't you ever worry for the future and we are still young, there's so so sooooo many things to look forward to, there's so many great memories that haven't happened yet, just enjoy life and I swear on my Munson's doctrine that I don't care about what other people think of me and I'm just going to do what I want, what I love and enjoy and importantly what I like to do the most"

You giggled to his antics that never fails to make you feel happy and he soothes him

"I just get so overwhelmed with everything sometimes" you say as you avert gaze somewhere else

"That's normal, darling, because you're a human and you're not a robot" he boops your nose as you giggled again

"Do you think that I could do anything?"

"I think you're able to do amazing things and just set your mind to it"

"Thank you" you say to him, you feel a lot more better now

"Just trust me, you'll be fine" he says as he gently pats your thigh

"Okay, I started to get feel sick here because you two won't stop getting off with your hands with each other" she playfully throws up as you and Eddie both laugh

Eddie's eyes sparks mischief as he fires back at Max "Oh, she told me that you harboring feelings on me"

You cheeks went rosy as you glare at her, Eddie laughs at the look of betrayal in your expression

"Max!"

The doorbell rings as she ignores your imply as you she claps her hands together "Pizza!"

Eddie carefully removes your legs as he starts to help Max with the pizza

You watch them both as they get excited to bring everything at the coffee table and searching for a good film VHS

See, this is what you wanted

This is what you needed

Eddie is right, you'll be okay

As long as you have them and you evaluating your mentality and your physicality as you grew older and learn from every eventful happenings of your life and breaking free through your fears and letting yourself out there in your comfort zone, you will be proud of yourself more than ever

Because you know your story is not over

It's only just the beginning

#eddie munson #stranger things 4 #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x female reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson supremacy #agirwholovesrockstarsfics

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