#i want to give astarion so much love pls

[noyaspeach]

first light

Summary: Could this be how every day begins?

After a long and restless night with no sleep, you go looking for something to while away the hours. As it turns out, Astarion is just as much of an insomniac as you are, and the two of you spend the early morning together.

Pairing: Astarion x Gender Neutral! Reader

Word Count: 4,334

Tags: Fluff and Light Angst, Pining, Feelings Realization (Kinda?), Second Person POV, Soft Astarion, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Insomnia, Watching the Sunrise

Author's Note:

not me returning to fic-writing over 3 years later with an astarion fic of all things. i can't even guarantee i'll write another one considering i'm about to start college again, but i would sure like to!

i was heavily inspired to write this because of the release of hozier's album. it perfectly aligned with me becoming obsessed with baldur's gate 3, and astarion is just so hozier-coded, how could i not? as the title suggests, i was inspired by the song "first light" which is the last song on the album, based on dante's ascent out of hell and his first taste of light and freedom. i imagine it's how astarion must have felt when he was no longer forced to do cazador's bidding and when he could finally experience sunlight again.

obligatory disclaimers: i haven't actually played the game yet, so this fic is informed by clips i've seen online, gif sets, the baldur's gate wiki, and other fics. if any details in this aren't chronologically sound or if anything seems a little non-compliant with the canon of the game... now you know why lol.

still, i hope you enjoy it! this is also posted to ao3! read here!

///

You stare up at the ceiling of your tent, frustration rolling in your chest as you struggle to rest. Your eyes are beginning to sting with the lack of sleep, but simply closing them does nothing to help. You’ve gone through all of your belongings twice already, looking for something to ease you into slumber, but no amount of reading or alcohol seems to do the trick. It certainly doesn’t help that the weather has been oppressively humid all night, leaving you coated in a thin, sticky layer of sweat that doesn’t seem to leave you no matter how many layers you shed.

You can’t bear to lay around in the thick air of your tent, so you decide to sit out by the extinguished campfire in the hopes that it will do more to relax you.

You quietly open your tent flap and emerge into the mild morning air. It’s much cooler outside, and a light breeze tickles your arm, already doing wonders to dry your sweat. It’s still too early for daylight, so the camp is only dimly illuminated by the moonlight. With the lack of light, you listen out for the sounds of the forest around you: the chirps of insects beneath you, hooting owls in the distance, and a trickling stream not too far away. Focusing on these scarce sounds, you already feel much calmer.

After a moment of peace, you hear a rustle to your right. You whip your head toward the sound, hands ready at your weapon, when you see a familiar face emerge from the trees. You let your hands drop to your side again. It’s just Astarion. He appears to be returning to his tent, noticeably empty-handed. You wonder what he’s up to this early in the morning, and he seems to be wondering the same thing, eyeing you with an inquisitive raise of the eyebrow.

“Restless sleeper, are we?” He remarks.

“Something like that,” you reply. “Just needed some fresh air.”

You notice that Astarion is still in his sleepwear, the sleeves of his white undershirt pushed up above his elbows. “And what are you doing out?”

“Oh, you know. Searching for a midnight snack, so to speak.” He gestures to the woods behind him. “Unfortunately, there isn’t a very fine selection tonight.”

You grimace at the thought of Astarion catching an innocent woodland creature between his teeth. It’s a less-than-flattering image, one that’s informed by the memory of the boar he drained a while back, and one that you’re eager to dismiss.

“Is that all you’ve been up to?” You ask.

“Why? Were you getting lonely without me?” He teases. You can only roll your eyes in response. When he doesn’t receive a retort, Astarion sighs and continues. “Right, if you want an honest answer, I was going for a stroll to pass the time.”

You tilt your head to the side. “Wandering about on your own while everyone’s asleep isn’t a very good idea. If something happens out there, none of us will be able to save you”

“Trust me, darling, I can hold my own just fine. But I appreciate you worrying about my safety. It’s almost touching.” He smirks. “I would appreciate it even more if you would refrain from telling the others about my… routine here. I don’t exactly want the company.”

“Routine? How long have you been taking these walks?”

“Since the day I joined you all, I would say.” Astarion’s eyes move to the entrance of his own tent. “I haven’t been able to get much sleep myself, and I figure there isn’t much use laying on my bedroll if I’m not resting or satisfying… other needs. So, I walk. And occasionally feed.”

You search Astarion’s face for any sign of deception, but he’s being surprisingly truthful, if a little bashful. You resonate with his sleeplessness, being something of an insomniac yourself. Despite the immense toll your travels have taken on your body, you can’t seem to rest very easily at all, especially when you need it the most. Whether it’s the vivid memories of past battles replaying in your dreams, the smothering climate of whatever campsite you’ve picked out that night, or the relentless wriggling of the tadpole in your head, there’s always something keeping you up.

“I’m surprised I haven’t caught you earlier, then,” you say. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Thank you,” says Astarion. He smiles, and it seems he means it too. “Well, seeing as neither one of us will be getting to bed anytime soon, would you care to join me?”

You cross your arms. “I thought you would have preferred to be alone.”

“Misery loves company and all. I think I can make an exception for a fellow night owl,” he drawls.

You agree to walk with him then and quietly head in the opposite direction of both tents. You’re sure to bring your weapon with you in the off chance that something—or someone—attacks the two of you. A very small part of you still garners some suspicion for Astarion himself, especially considering that night in which he tried to feed from you while you slept. Perhaps that’s another factor in your insomnia; although you let Astarion drink his fill that night, you can’t be entirely sure he won’t try it again. That he won’t succeed in creeping up on you and draining you completely.

You shiver at the thought, but pass it off as a cold chill from the wind. As the two of you slowly move from the campsite, your surroundings become even quieter. The chirping insects from before are silent now, and the nearby stream is barely a whisper. You can hardly hear either of your footsteps. It’s at once peaceful and unsettling.

After a few short minutes, you’re the first to break the silence. “What do you usually do when you’re out here?”

Astarion thinks for a moment, and hums. “Hmm. Aside from hunting, I suppose I just sit with my thoughts. There isn’t much else to do, is there?”

You nod, but somehow you don’t think being left with one’s own thoughts is particularly relaxing for anyone in your party. You can’t imagine it’s any good for Astarion, especially.

“And what do you think about?”

“So much,” he says. “Plans, mostly. Where our next destination is, where I’ll find my next meal, what I’ll do when we reach Baldur’s Gate, how to get rid of this wretched parasite…”

“Do you ever think about your past?”

Astarion’s gaze is a bit distant until you ask that. He slows his pace and turns to you, looking unusually serious. “I prefer not to.”

He leaves it at that, so you decide not to push further. You only know a little about Astarion’s life before the tadpole entered his mind. You know he’s the spawn of an even more powerful vampire, a master to whom he was a slave for nearly 200 years, and you know he’s lived in the shadows up until now. It isn’t lost on you that this entire adventure is his first taste of freedom in centuries. You understand why he would rather focus on the future. Still, your nagging curiosity makes you desperate for more information about him.

“What about you, my dear?” He returns to his more amused attitude. “What do you do in that tent of yours to pass the time until the morning comes? Don’t tell me if it’s anything naughty… Actually, do.”

You shake your head and suppress a smile as he actually almost earns a laugh from you. “Nothing like that. I normally just try to distract myself until I can hopefully fall back asleep. Read something, sort my wares, hum a tune. Anything to relax.”

“I take it that hasn’t been working for you?”

“No. Not one bit. I’m actually kind of worried it might start affecting my performance from now on. Unlike some of the elves in this team, I actually need quite a lot of rest.”

“A true shame,” he tuts. “Although it is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, I don’t need to sleep for very long. On the other, I can’t sleep for very long. Sometimes I do wish I could simply let the whole day pass while I doze off. That would be much easier than just waiting it out.”

You hadn’t considered this. While the rest of your traveling companions are able to sleep through the night, Astarion has no choice but to wait for everyone to wake up around sunrise. All he can do is hope to get a few hours of rest before sitting through the unnerving silence of the night, the only unique sounds being the faint snores and mumbles that float from the other tents. You and he are alike in this struggle, but you at least are lucky enough to have a few nights when your exhaustion is bad enough to force you to bed.

“Well, taking a stroll like this is a good idea,” you finally say. “Thank you for inviting me along.”

A small smile tugs at the corner of Astarion’s lips. “Thank you for joining me. I will admit, it’s easier to pass the time with a… friend… by my side.”

Your heart swells at that word: “friend.” It’s a welcome upgrade from whatever you two might have been considered before.

A few minutes pass with the both of you chatting politely. As you walk, you make note of your surroundings to ensure that you don’t stray too far from camp or encounter any traps. This occupies your mind for a while, but Astarion seems to be running out of topics to discuss. Not wanting him to abandon your little trip just yet, you try to think of something to entertain him. Looking out at the forest and the sky in front of you, you notice that the moon has begun its descent into the trees, meaning morning is almost upon you two. This gives you an idea.

You stop and pivot to face Astarion. He stops too, surprised at your sudden pause.

“What is it?” He asks.

"Would you like to watch the sunrise with me?”

He’s taken aback only momentarily before he adopts his familiar flirtatious demeanor. “Trying to turn this into a romantic tryst, are you? If you want something more, you’ll have to be a little more direct than that.”

You shake your head. “No, I don’t mean anything by it. I want to know if you’ll sit and watch the sun come up with me. That’s all. It should be rising soon enough. It’s almost morning.”

He seems puzzled, his brows tightening and eyes scanning your face for any indication that you may be holding something back. When he doesn’t find anything, he settles back into an easy expression. “I seem to have misjudged. My apologies… Yes, I wouldn’t mind sitting with you.”

“Great.” You smile and begin to walk again. “I heard some water earlier, so I think there may be a stream near here. Maybe it’ll make for a nice spot.”

Astarion follows as you lead him closer to the sound of running water, and the two of you shortly come upon the stream. It’s a small, shallow brook that separates the woods from which you emerge and another expanse of trees on the other side. Right along the edge of the water is a line of smooth rocks big enough to sit on. It’s the perfect place to set up, you think.

The two of you find purchase on the edge of the rocks, feet just barely dangling off the side, hovering above the calmly flowing water. The rocks aren’t terribly big, so the two of you sit side-by-side, your knees close enough to touch. Across the brook, the trees begin to thin out, leaving a clear view of the horizon. You estimate that the sun will start its ascent in the next few minutes, but for now, the scene in front of you remains thinly bathed in moonlight.

In the quiet of the dawn, the moon casts its silvery glow on the world beneath it. Every blade of grass, every dewy flower, every mossy stone radiates with a hazy blue hue. The stream beneath you reflects this onto both of your faces, and you give a sideways glance to your companion next to you. You watch as the light dances across his cheeks, admiring how it shines in his curls, how it glistens in his deep red eyes, and how it collects in the space just above his lips. You inhale and the earthy scent of the forest mixes with the smell of Astarion’s perfume in your nose. As you do so, you realize now just how close in proximity you are to him. You’re close enough to trace his silhouette from the slope of his nose to his slender neck with your fingers if you so choose. You glimpse at the puncture marks just below his jaw and remember once more the night you let him drink from you. You remember the moment you awoke in terror before you realized who was crouched above you. You remember the uncertainty you felt as you gave him permission to continue, not sure whether it was a wise decision or not. You remember the sharp sting of his teeth entering your skin and the almost exhilarating dizziness that followed as he coaxed your blood out with his tongue. The rest of that moment is a blur to you, but you can still distinctly recall how he cradled your head with one hand, the other gently ghosting down your spine. For almost a full day after that night, the smell of bergamot and rosemary lingered on your neck.

“You do know staring is rude, don’t you, darling?” Astarion says. “Not that I particularly mind.” He leans back on his arms and turns to face you. “Not when it’s you.”

Your cheeks flush in spite of the cool temperature. You wonder when it was you became so vulnerable to Astarion’s flirting. Even though you have, you try not to entertain it. After all, you suspect his charming behavior is at least partly a ruse.

“Sorry,” you mutter and look back at the horizon. “It’s very pretty out. It’ll be even prettier in just a few more minutes, too. We’re in the perfect spot to watch the sun come up.”

“Is that so?” Astarion tilts his head as he continues to behold you. “You know, I’ve never watched the sunrise like this.”

You twist to look at him again, utterly shocked. “Seriously? Not once?”

He shakes his head.

“How come?”

He sighs. “I’m sure I must have before… everything. But I can’t seem to remember anything from back then. I lost most of my memories when I was brought back, save for a few of the important details. I suppose sunrises weren’t important enough to stick.” He frowns and stares out at a canopy of trees in the distance. “Then, as you know, it would have been incredibly stupid for me to be out in the light with this condition of mine. So, I never tried. I didn’t have very many opportunities to do so, in any case.”

Your brow furrows, but you don’t say anything. Instead, you let Astarion continue at his own pace.

“...I spent decades in my master’s lair, a- a dungeon, really. I was trapped in the darkness. The only time I was allowed out was when he needed fresh, new bodies, and even then it was always under the cover of night. For the longest time, that was all that I knew. In a way, it’s what I’m still used to…”

Suddenly his sleeplessness makes all the more sense to you.

“I know I’m free from that now, what with the tadpole and all, but…” He trails off. You understand.

After several beats of silence, you clear your throat.

“Once, when I was a child, I went playing in the woods with some of the other children in the village. There were maybe six of us in total? I don’t exactly remember. But we marched all the way from the market to the forest pretending we were a band of heroes. I was at the back of the line, right behind this boy that I really liked. I put myself there on purpose so that I could smile and blush as much as I wanted without him seeing me.”

“How cute,” Astarion comments with a quirked eyebrow.

“Yeah. I mean, I thought I was being clever, but it was pretty silly, wasn’t it? Anyways, when we entered the woods, we decided to split off into teams to see who could find the most ‘treasure.’ We just plucked up sticks, flowers, beetles, pinecones, that kind of stuff. I was paired with the boy I liked, and I was so giddy about it. I wanted to show him just how cool I was, so I climbed up every tree and jumped off every rock. Just hearing him laugh and clap for me was enough for me to keep going. So, I did. Before we knew it, we realized we had strayed too far from the rest of the group. We tried to call out to them but heard nothing in return. We were lost.”

You pause your story to get a brief look at Astarion. You half-expect him to be bored by this point, but you’re surprised to see that he’s giving you his full attention. He waves his hand, signaling for you to continue.

“We started playing late into the evening, so by the time we realized that we had no clue where we were, the sun had already begun to set. I remember cursing myself for wishing I could have some alone time with this boy because that wasn’t at all what I had had in mind. But, alas, that was the situation I was stuck in. When it reached midnight and we still hadn’t made our way back to the village, I started panicking. You should know that I used to be deathly afraid of the forest at night. I was terrified of what kind of creatures could be hiding, waiting to snatch me up and eat me alive.”

“Hmm, like vampires?” Astarion teases.

You smirk. “Precisely. You’ll remember, though, that I was stuck with the boy I liked. So, there was no way I could show that I was scared. I couldn’t display any sign of weakness or else he might not think I was as cool as I let off. Knowing this, I put on a brave face and silently begged the gods for some protection before I assembled a makeshift camp for the two of us. It was, admittedly, very shitty, but it did its job of giving us some shelter for the night. I told him he could sleep and that I would keep watch, and so I did. I didn’t sleep very much back then, either, now that I think about it. I guess not a lot has changed about me… But I digress. I stayed up the whole night, sitting outside our little fort, listening to him snore and talk in his sleep. I don’t think I could have left his side if I wanted to, considering how petrified I was. But I powered through the fear, for his sake. I was so young, but I cared about this boy so much that I felt I owed it to him to make sure he was safe.”

“You were quite the hero, even back then,” Astarion says gently. “Is this little story your way of telling me to be more selfless?”

“Not at all. I’m getting to the point, I promise. I sat there for hours as I waited for it to become day again. Eventually, I was able to focus on the more beautiful parts of the night: the moon, the stars, the lightning bugs, the sweet whisper of the wind through the leaves. The more I searched for the good in my situation, the less scared I became, until I was no longer scared at all. By the time dawn rolled around, I was at peace, actually. I was so proud of myself for making it through the night, I immediately woke the boy up to share the moment with him. Then, we sat together, kind of like this,” You gesture to your and Astarion’s seating position, “and just watched the sunrise in perfect silence. I had never watched the sunrise before. It was so nice, getting to quietly enjoy such a wonderful view with someone I loved.”

As you finish your story, you face Astarion once more. His gaze is soft as he listens to you speak, and the tender curl of his lips betrays a sincere gratitude for having shared this with him.

“Did anything ever happen between you and that boy?” He asks.

“Sadly, no. He eventually fell for some other girl in town. Last I heard, they had three kids together.”

“Hmm.” Astarion angles his chin away from you. “Well, that’s his loss.”

You look away, too, and smile to yourself.

Suddenly, the sky begins to transform before your eyes. The first gleams of sunlight begin to caress the horizon as the moon takes its final bow behind you. The forest, still coated with all the glimmering remnants of morning dew, stirs from its slumber under the streams of the emerging sun. As the sun slowly rises, its warm embrace spreads like honey between the trees, flooding the forest floor with rays of pink and amber. Shafts of light pierce through the lush foliage, creating scintillating patterns on the surface of the water that seem to dance at the promise of a new day. Finally, when the sun peers at you from above the treetops, it’s as if the sky erupts. A burst of brilliance envelopes the world below it in its welcoming embrace, casting everything in a blazing golden light.

You begin to say something to Astarion but stop when you see his face. He looks positively radiant. His face glows in the daylight, appearing even more magnificent than he did in the moon’s silver beams. His face and his hair are colored by the sun, making him look more alive than he ever has before. Every detail from the strands in his eyebrows to the smallest of moles is illuminated before you. You watch as his eyes glisten before softly fluttering closed. He breathes deeply, his chest slowly rising and falling, and he basks in the sunlight. He relaxes completely, letting the sun’s rays melt away any and all tension he may have been holding on to.

You want nothing more than to cup his face in your hands, then, and feel the newly imbued warmth of his skin as you press your lips to his. Instead, however, you carefully place your hand on top of his. His eyes blink open and he turns to look at you once more. You hesitate for a moment, ready to move away, but he doesn’t reject you. His eyes crinkle with appreciation and he laces your fingers together before gently stroking his thumb against the side of your hand. His skin is still a bit cold, but thanks to you, it quickly warms up.

The two of you sit there in tranquility, taking in all of the sights, sounds, and feelings of the early morning. Time seems to slow, then, as if the universe itself also wishes to savor this serene moment for just a little while longer.

Soon, you hear the distant sound of casual conversation as the others awaken for yet another day of arduous traveling. You sigh, knowing that the two of you will have to return to camp shortly and leave all of this behind. You don’t want to let go just yet.

“We should probably get back,” Astarion says first. “I wouldn’t want the others to think that I killed you and scurried off or something like that.”

“Yeah, that wouldn’t be very good for morale,” you joke. After a moment, you reluctantly untwine your fingers and push yourself up off the rocks. You extend a hand to Astarion to help him up, which he graciously accepts.

Neither of you moves at first until Astarion takes a step toward you. Standing so close to you, you wonder if he’s about to kiss you when he gingerly takes hold of your hands. He gives you that sincere smile again.

“Thank you again for this. It was… nice.” You almost can’t believe how vulnerable he seems right now, eyes staring into yours with no hint of false pretenses. “I’d like to do this again with you, if you’ll join me.”

“I would love to.”

“Wonderful,” he says. He lets go of you. “Shall we then?”

The two of you take your time walking back to the campsite, talking idly about what the next few days have in store. When you arrive, Karlach is the first to notice you.

“There you two are! We were beginning to worry.” She looks between you both and crosses her arms, narrowing her eyes mischievously. “Anything we should know about your disappearance?”

You chuckle. “Nothing that would excite you, Karlach.”

You walk past her and approach your tent. The rest of your team is already getting to work cleaning their weapons, armor, and other equipment, preparing to hunt, or strategizing together. Before you duck inside to retrieve your clothes for washing, you turn back and lock eyes with Astarion. He’s entered a conversation between Shadowheart and Gale, but he isn’t all that engaged. He shoots you a knowing look and another small smile which you return in kind.

As you wash your clothes in the river just south of the camp, you think fondly of the promise you’ve now made with Astarion and the many sunrises to come. Suddenly, insomnia doesn’t seem so bad.

[gaysindistress]

hey, i just saw your wolverine thought and im literally BEGGING for sub!logan... like maybe he's not that into the idea at first and then he really enjoys it?? pls im starving

I assume you mean this one my darling?

I’ve had like zero motivation to write but can I offer you a nice playlist as well as a visual that describes Logan’s sub journey?

(Hopefully the spark will return and I can write this for you 🥹🥲)

I hate you - Frank Carter and the rattlesnakes

We start with a classic “hate your fucking guts and can’t stand the sight of you” song. This would definitely start as a hatefuck that turns into something more meanful.

Desire - Meg meyers

As the night progresses, things are rough but now it’s about devouring each other.

Temptation - Ashley sienna

Soooooooo in the search of ‘accessories’, Logan finds a rather interesting looking….. we’ll call it a harness and a conversation ensues.

Figure you out - voilà

The title says enough; you figured him out within moments and know exactly what he wants even if he denies it at first.

Fetish - Selena Gomez

He’s going to think about it so much. It’ll become an all consuming hunger that nothing can sate until he gives into it.

Nasty - Russ

Role reversal time!

Heaven in hiding - Halsey

When he finally accepts that he is welcome in big bottom country, it really is heaven in hiding for sweet subby boi Logan.

All I can offer in terms of ✨visuals✨ is this lovely piece of fan art of astarion and the artist’s oc/Tav. Please look at all of his fanart because they’re all masterpieces and hugely inspired my sub Logan thoughts. (Credits to @meanbossart)

As for strap inspiration I present to you this fanart of Karlach that provided me the opportunity to create this post.

[feyascorner]

You writing is amazing! I eat it right up!

Now this idea has been stuck in my hand for a while. Tav that wants to give Astarion blood but are horrified of needles and that fear applies to his fangs. So when they try to give blood the instinctively move away even when Astarion "The bit comes in 3 2 1" but Tav insist on trying again. When Astarion finally gets some blood Tav straight just goes "Oh okay great" and faceplants in the ground. When they wake up again they say the weirdest shit because they are still whoozy something like "Hey Astarion do crabs think fish can fly?"

Anyway have a nice day :]

im crying they're so silly...also i wrote like the dumbest questions but they're genuine questions so pls if anyone has answers...

"Just do it."

He nods. "Very well."

"Wait, no, I need a countdown."

"Fine. Three...two..."

"Actually, it's too nerve-racking, just--"

Astarion pulls his face away from the crook of your neck, eyes lidded as he sighs. "Darling, if it's too difficult..."

"It's not that bad. I want to help you, and you said this would make you more powerful in battle," you insist, bursting with enthusiasm but not enough to will you through your deathly fear of needles---or anything sharp for that matter. "I've done it before, I can do it again."

"Yes, love, but the last time we did this, you had me do it while you were asleep. You also woke up and punched me in the chest, even though you're the one who suggested the idea."

"I can do it this time! Just try again!"

Despite his hesitance, he follows your request, gently inching you closer and leaning into your neck. His breath feels cool on your skin, but the second you feel him nearing too close, you pull away again instinctively. He doesn't even seem surprised this time.

"Okay, maybe we should just do it while I'm sleeping again-"

He grabs either side of your face, pressing a kiss on your cheek and then another on the side of your nose. He trails down to your chin, and before you can even tell what he's doing, your face is flushed in embarrassment. So much so that you don't even realize he's trailed down your chin and his fangs are now right at your neck. "What are you--"

It pricks.

Astarion tries to make it brief, regardless of how badly he wants to drink more, because he can sense how limp you feel in his arms. He pulls away, licking at the excess on his lips with a triumphant grin. "There. Exquisite as always."

But you only stare at him blankly. His smile drops. It worries him.

"Oh, okay," you blink. "That's great."

You would've face planted straight into the floor had he not barely grabbed you by the back of your shirt.

You only awake a few hours later, groggily rubbing at your eyes while Astarion looms over you with pursed lips, and you wonder how long he's been sitting here. When your eyes peel open, he groans, shoulders slumping in relief.

"There you are, I thought I'd nearly killed you again!" he smiles, reaching for a plate of fruits beside your bedroll. "Now feed yourself before you go and pass out on me aga--"

"Your hair reminds me of a white rat I saw last week."

He stops.

"Why do you think Karlach's underwear doesn't burn off? Are they enchanted? I want enchanted underwear."

Ah, he realizes. You've finally lost your mind.

Your lips stretch dreamily. "Maybe I can ask Withers to make my underwear glow in the dark."

"No, before we move on, let's discuss that rat comment."

"Do crabs think fish can fly?"

"I---I suppose they would?..." He's at a loss of words, which is especially rare for him.

You blink wearily at him, staring at a spot on the wall behind his head. He'd think your confusion to be adorable if it weren't for the borderline offensive comments you were spouting out like a broken water fountain. "Do vampires poop, Astarion?"

You've crossed the borderline now. He runs a hand down his face, sighing. "Please stop talking, my love."

"You can technically eat food, even though it tastes bad, right?" you raise a brow, squinting at him. "So where does that food go? Do you poop it out or does it just kind of slide ou--"

"Okay, that's quite enough talking for today," he shoves an apple into your mouth. He snickers at how you struggle to take a bite. "No more questions until you finish the entire bowl."

Fortunately for him, you fall back asleep before you're even finished with the apple. And he's grateful you do because even he himself doesn't know the answer to that question.

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

mutual 1: sorry the update for my webcomic this week is a bit late! i really had to rush it so it prolly looks really sloppy lol [some of the most sophisticated comic art ive ever seen]

mutual 2: call me uterine lining the way astarions cervix got me bleeding profusely

mutual 3: do you think nanowrimo will give me a posthumous pity publishing deal if i mention it in my suicide note

mutual 4: okay fine i finally started revolutionary girl utena

mutual 5: does columbo know the service he did for butch lesbians. for all of us

mutual 6: wish you were here [blurry picture set of conifer woods in early autumn evening, taken as if frantically running down a winding trail]

mutual 4: im pretty hardy i dont need the trigger list but thanks for looking out for me guys

mutual 7: good morning lovelies another day the wizard tried to best me and another day i successfully locked him in the spare bathroom lol hope u like drinking shampoo fucker

mutual 8: here is a zip of every yuri manga scan i have and here is a backup in case i get dcma'd. the himejoshi lifestyle will never die

mutual 9: i wish i could go back in time to the shinzo abe assassination and ask to hold the doohickey

mutual 10: here's my essay on how wanting to be loved is the same as wanting to be eaten. three paragraphs in you'll find out that this is 100% tied to an obscure beauty and the beast manga i've been reading lately and how much i want to fuck the beast

mutual 4: oh thats why there was the trigger list.

mutual 11: YOU CAN'T LOCK ME IN THIS BATHROOM FOREVER

mutual 12: why do i have to defend my thesis to people i dont even respect. im not dickriding you just give me the degree

mutual 13: its just me and this scab ive picked into my scalp against the world

mutual 14: my little dragon got glazed and is ready to go into the kiln! everyone wish him good luck!

mutual 3: nvm i am a beautiful genius. perhaps the most beautiful genius of all

mutual 15: i think we should give david lynch rpgmaker and whatever happens happens

mutual 16: kpeyboaatrds brpokem gpuys

mutual 17: also heres my work in progress glossary of mixtec words! i still have a long way to go but i love being able to preserve my roots even in this small way

mutual 4: i just finished the black rose arc. question: what

mutual 18: i need emet-selch to be my wife

mutual 19: i need glados to be my husband

mutual 20: visited the ocean today!!! <3 beach pics!!! there is a darkness growing within me

mutual 21: the forms for my legal name change came in. pls vote in this poll of what my middle name should be: Dill Pickle (Dickle for short), Optimus Prime, Tumblr User Gorgonicteratologist, Smeve

mutual 22: just finished my 100th book of the year! this weeks read was the uses of enchantment by the psychologist bruno bettelheim,

mutual 23: reeses penis butter cups lol

mutual 4: i need to hunt akio for sport

mutual 24: oouugghhrgh. hot. dog.

mutual 25: your favorite character or fictional other would want you to brush your teeth and wash your face so you're well rested and wake up feeling refreshed! make them proud!

mutual 26: being a delivery driver isnt the worst job ive ever had but i do keep wondering what itd be like to drive off into the wild blue yonder one day and not come back

mutual 27: weird dog? [phone picture of critically endangered stork]

mutual 28: i think the two phone line polls in front of my house are having a lovers tryst. no way to prove it tho

mutual 4: WHAT

mutual 29: while you bitches are balduring your gates or finalling those fantasies im doing what a REAL gamer does. playing a b tier rpg that came out in 2004 for the 18th time

mutual 30: ^ real. hamtaro ham ham heartbreak is a masterpiece of interactive art. im not even going to call it a video game at this point

mutual 4: THAT'S HOW IT ENDS?! ANTHY?

mutual 31: can you help me pick which drawing looks better: 34% overlay or 36% soft light?

mutual 32: new video essay out. its called disability in video game narratives: final fantasy 14's most reliable fault. i churned the script out over an all-nighter and my mic crapped out halfway through but by god i did it

mutual 33: my new zine bundle is out! if you buy it you also get a discount on all my game jam games! i really cant wait for you to play them!

mutual 4: yall should watch revolutionary girl utena

[drabblesbyjubs]

Caress

Astarion x gn! Reader; your boundaries on where Astarion can touch you and where you can touch him have always been a little fuzzy, but he struggles to word what he means when attempting to simply tell you where he doesn’t want to be touched. He tosses out an idea, and the two of you explore your comfort zones. This could be seen at a pt 2 to Just Need Time, its very soft and fluffy, sort of building on that healing aspect.

Fluff, hurt/comfort, non-sexual nudity, some minor sexual content but no actual smut, trauma, Astarion’s backstory stuff, minor spoilers for Astarion’s story in act 3, minors go bye bye pls

I wrote this on my first day at my new job. This fic was born in the kitchens of a nursing home

Intimacy was always daunting to Astarion.

Emotional intimacy was close, it was vulnerable, it was a means to exploit. And it was terrifying. Physical intimacy was a task, something Astarion struggled to enjoy.

More than a few times he had feared you leaving him because he couldn’t provide the intimacy you deserved. He wasn’t always emotionally available, sometimes we was so apathetic he feared you would be disgusted with him, but there were some things he just couldn’t care about. Even if he wanted to, caring was vulnerable, and it wasn’t allowed. Survival of the fittest.

He was next to never physically available for intimacy; either he completely zoned out before you even got his pants off, the thought of a hug lingering too long sent shivers down his spine, or a hand on his hip pulled a fear response from him, making his whip around to face you, ready to push you away.

You were so understanding that it hurt.

Never once did you judge, never once were you angry or upset. That was almost worse than you being angry; just not knowing what you were thinking. The uncertainty was horrible.

Uncertainty over how you thought of him, uncertainty of where he even liked you touching. Sometimes your soft, romantic touches made his heart soar; they were safe, there was no fear, no ulterior motive, only you, at face value. He loved those times. He wished he knew them more. There were so many little places he was and wasn’t okay with you touching him, he couldn’t even keep track of them.

Maybe it was worth finding out.

..

“Darling?” Astarion approached your tent, and you looked up from the book you had been reading, smiling when you saw that handsome face you’d come to love.

“Astarion,” you greeted, setting down your book and standing to meet him. He hugged you, and you held him close. It seemed he was feeling a little touchy today, and you didn’t mind one bit.

“I wanted to talk. Is… now a good time?” Astarion questioned. You felt a pit of nervousness in your stomach; he looked serious.

“Of course, come with me.” You said, leading him in to your tent and shutting it behind you. “What’s wrong?” You asked.

Astarion grabbed your hands tenderly, and you felt nerves twist in your belly.

“I know I haven’t been the best to you.” He began, immediately filling you with doubt and confusion.

“Darling, of course you-“

“Please.. let me get this out.” He gently kissed the back of your hand, and you shuffled nervously.

“I haven’t been the best to you. I’ve been reclusive, and I know you deserve better. The.. the thought of losing you is terrifying. I want to be more open, give you what you deserve, I just… dont know how. I… have a favor to ask of you.”

You gulped nervously. This didn’t seem like he was trying to break up with you… but the way he spoke in such a self deprecating manner, it was so concerning to you.

“What is it, hun?” You asked.

“I.. want you to help me learn where I can and cant touch you. Where you can and cant touch me. I suppose I… just want to admire you. You tell me when and where it’s too much, and you do the same to me. Is… is that okay?” He looked up at you with those beautiful red eyes.

“Like… like what do you mean?” You asked. “Whatever it is, im alright with it, but.. you may have to take the lead, show me what you’d like. Is that alright?”

“I… want to touch you. And want you to touch me.” He hesitantly explained, a shadow of doubt cast over him now. “I dont want it to be… sexual. I… suppose I want to find where im alright with you touching me. And where youre alright with me touching you.”

“Oh,” you said, realization dawning on you. “Oh hun, of course we can do that. That sounds like a great idea.” You kissed the tip of his nose and you smiled seeing the way the tips of his pointed ears flushed.

He smiled, that slight uptick to the corner of his lip, and the way his smile lines showed and his ryes warmed just looking at you. He was so, so beautiful.

You gently cupped his cheeks in your hands, thumbing over the corner of his mouth.

“You’re beautiful,” you muttered, and Astarion rolled his eyes, though his smile didn’t fade for a moment.

“I know. And wonderful, don’t forget.”

You laughed. “And wonderful.” You pulled him in for a kiss, soft and tender. Astarion melted in your touch, his hands lifting to let one wrap around your chest under your arms and the other card through the hair at the back of your head and gently hold you close to him. His lips moved over yours and both of your relaxed in to the kiss.

You pulled away after a moment, saying, “How do you want to do this?”

“Maybe… here, come with me.” He took your hand and lead you to the bedroll in your tent, the two of you sitting on it facing one another. He gave an awkward pause, clearing his throat and saying, “Could… I take the lead, then you take over?”

“Of course,” you say. “Do you want me to take anything off, or keep this all over our clothes?”

“Maybe.. leave our undergarments on, but take off everything else?”

“That sounds alright,” you said. “I have a blanket right there if you need to cover up.” You motioned to the blanket next to the two of you. Astarion nodded in confirmation, and as you began reaching for the hem of your shirt, he asked you, “May I?” He reached your your shirt, pausing before reaching your hands and waiting before moving on.

You smiled, the care and focus in his expression warming your heart. “Of course,” you said. His fingers hooked under the hem of your bed shirt, pulling it up and over your head. The focus in his gaze was wonderful, so careful as if he would shatter you with one wrong move.

He let out a little sigh when he had your shirt off and tossed to the side, as of he had been holding his breath.

“Beautiful as ever,” he whispered, so soft you hardly heard it. You nudged his shoulder with a little laugh. “Gods, Astarion,” you laughed, and he joined you. His hands cupped your cheeks, and he gazed lovingly into your eyes. You had never seen him so… soft. So vulnerable. It was almost like you were looking at an entirely different man to the one you had found in the woods after the illithid ship crashed, the one who had held a knife to your throat and threatened your life. And maybe he really was a different man, after all you had went through.

But he would always be Astarion, forever your little star.

Calloused hands softly traveled down your neck, closely watching you for any reaction. Down your neck, over your shoulders, across your chest. Over your hips and up your stomach, then to your back, scooting close to feel down the line of your spine, to your shoulders, and down your arms, until his fingers tangled in yours.

“Was that alright?” He asked. You nodded, giving him an assuring smile.

“Of course,” you said. You leaned up to kiss him, a gentle peck to his lips before pulling away. Your fingers danced feather light at the hem of his bedshirt.

“May I?” You asked, to which he nodded.

You pulled his shirt up over his head, watching his gaze fall to the ground. It had always made him a little nervous to feel so bare in such an intimate way, but you didn’t let your gaze linger on his body, instead starting how he did, cupping his cheeks.

You moved to trace over the points of his ears, and he laughed softly, relaxing in to your touch as your fingers carded through his hair.

You hands moved to his jawline, before slowly moving to his neck. You watched his smile fade and a more focused expression return. You tilted your head, and he looked to you.

“I’m not sure.” He said, almost as if having read your mind. You nodded; he’d always been iffy about any touch on the side of his neck that Cazador bit him on. You moved on without another word, to his shoulders and his chest. Neither of which he had any complaint over, you noted.

Your fingers ghosted over the muscles of his abdomen, and you noted how Astarion watched your hand with an intent gaze. You thumbed over the top of his pants before gently resting your hands on the small of his back. You looked at him, waiting for him to return your gaze before you asked, “Your back. Is that a no overall?”

He pursed his lips and looked away.

“That… may be situational. I dont mind sometimes, but others…”

You nodded and said, “Don’t worry, my love. I’ll ask you before I ever touch you there, alright?” He nodded, visibly relaxing.

You moved to hook your fingers under the waistband of his pants, once again looking at him for approval before continuing. He nodded, hut you said to him, “Use your words, hun.”

“You can,” he said. He knew you always preferred he be vocal about his consent, instead of implying it. It made it easier for you to judge when he really wanted it.

Sometimes it was hard for him to know when he really wanted it.

Nodding, you gently pulled his pants down, him lifting his hips to help you out. You hummed, seeing him in nothing but his underwear. He truly was beautiful.

Starting with his hips, you pressed your thumbs against his hip bones, before moving to his outer thighs. You felt him grimace a bit, looking up to him.

“It’s alright,” he quickly assured. “Maybe move a little slower, if thats okay?”

“Of course, I’m sorry.” You responded.

Making a note to move more carefully, you moved down to his knees, then his calves. You ran your hands up the insides of his legs, stopping at his inner thighs. He shuffled a little, saying, “I think this is fine.. just let me know before you touch me here, please?”

“Aye aye, captain,” you said with a light hearted smile, moving in to kiss him.

It was slow and sweet, and you felt him squirming a little under you with you leaned over him and your hands on his thighs.

When you pulled away, his hands went up to the waistband of your pants.

When you nodded your approval, he removed the clothing, mimicking your motions with care and attentiveness. He was so gentle.

When he sat back on his knees, you noticed something you handn’t noticed before; Astarion was hard. You looked away quickly, not meaning to be rude, but he noticed your gaze and pulled back, sitting on his bottom and pulling his knees up to his chest to hide himself. Hurriedly, he said, his words coming out in one long string, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I think I just enjoyed seeing you like this but I dont want this to be sexual and I dont think I can handle being touched like that right now, but if you want me to touch you I can, I just-“

You hushed him, moving up to place a hand on his shoulder and gently thumb at the skin there.

“Darling, hush now. It’s alright. Its perfectly normal. I dont want anything like that right now either.” You assured him, the nearly scared way he looked up at you breaking your heart.

“You… you’re sure? Im still sorry I got… excited, I guess, I promise it wont happen again.” He seemed almost desperate to convince you he was truly sorry, and you gently cupped his cheeks, tilting up his head to look at you.

“My love,” you spoke, voice nearly a whisper. “I promise, it’s alright. We wont be doing anything sexual tonight, and I’ll pretend this didn’t even happen. Okay? There’s no need to be afraid.”

He nodded, his eyes shining almost as if he was on the brink of tears.

“Okay,” he breathed.

You kissed him softly, which he returned after a moment of hesitation.

You leaned back in the bed roll, saying, “Would you like to continue?” He took a breath and nodded, that signature smile returning to his face, even if it was a little forced. His hands crossed your thighs, calves, giving you a cheeky grin as he squeezed your butt, you swatting at him and rolling your eyes.

“You’re sure you’re alright with this all? You haven’t mentioned anything to me about anywhere you dont like…” he trailed, settling next to you.

“I’m sure. If its you, im alright with anything.”

“What?” He said, looking at you. His expressing was one of confusion. “Why?” He propped himself on up his elbows, looking down at you next to him. “What makes me so special?”

You stared back at him for a moment, equally as baffled as him. “What makes you so- Astarion, love, everything. You’re the brightest light in my life, the reason I keep fighting, you’re my everything. I’ve seen the best and worst sides of you, and you’ve seen the best and worst sides of me. You’re the one constant in my life, and you’re absolutely wonderful. I-“ you trailed off a little, noticing the way Astarion stared at you with an unreadable expression; shock, maybe?

His bottom lip started to tremble, and he said in a shaky voice, “You… you mean that?” Before breaking down in to tears.

You stayed still for a moment as he cried, completely caught off guard, watching him shrink down in to the bedroll, but quickly moved to action and pulled him close, gently hushing him. “Shhh, shshsh,” you cooed, burying your nose in his soft hair and combing through the white strands. “It’s alright, hun, don’t worry. It’s okay.”

The way his shoulders heaved with every fresh round of sobs wrenched your heart, and you felt guilt swirl deep within you. “I’m so sorry, I-“

“Don’t,” he managed to breathe between sobs. “You mean it?” He sniffed, looking up to you with a tear stricken gaze.

“Of course,” you cooed. “I mean it all. You’re my everything.” You kissed his forehead, and he was wrecked by a fresh round of sobs, burying his face in your chest. You pulled him close and held him, rocking him softly as he cried. Your poor, sweet boy.

It may have been ten minutes, it may have been an hour. Eventually, Astarion’s breathing slowly began to even out, and his sobs became few and far between. Is a shaky, hoarse voice, he started to speak.

“Two hundred years. For two hundred years I was locked in that crypt.” Your fingers combed through his hair and his memories came back to him. “Cazador put so many horrible thoughts in my head. About myself, about the people around me. I never trusted anyone again until I met you. I never even trusted myself. A monster, I am, just a creature meant to feed off of the innocent. I haven’t been mine in so long.”

You started to speak, started to assure him that he wasn’t a monster, this wasn’t his choice, but you second guessed. Astarion being this vulnerable was… rare. So you gave him his moment.

“You’ve always been so trusting. I thought you were just stupid at first,” he laughed softly, and you rolled your eyes with a little smile. “But I realized that you are the only person whos ever put faith in me. Ever. At least within my memories. You’re… the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time. So careful. So understanding. I dont understand why you care so much, but… thank you. And… I love you.”

Your heart was in your throat, choking you from the inside. You hugged him tighter, kissing the top of his head. “I love you too,” you breathed.

You placed your fingers under his chin to tilt his head up, giving him a warm smile when his eyes met yours. You leaned down to kiss him, pressing your lips against his and closing your eyes, feeling the way he relaxed in to your touch. Your lips moved together, in time as if this were practiced. You pulled away, and he gave you a little smile.

“You’re such a romantic,” you laughed. “It’s adorable. I love it.”

He clicked his tongue and looked away, though the little upwards tick in the corner of his lip gave away his stifled smile.

The rest of the night was filled with stolen kisses, little laughs, and sharing one another’s embrace. Astarion truly was something else, and he saw the same in you. You were the kind of dream he’d always held, a perfect lover who was kind and sweet. You were that. You had been next to him as he gained his freedom, encouraged him and trusted him even when you shouldn’t have. And he was so happy that you had made that choice, now.

.

.

Taglist

@adequate-superstar

@be-a-fish

[desertrose244]

Hii!!

I was wondering if you could share some of your favorite fics? I've been in a drought and was just curious 🦅

RAH YES I CAN THIS IS MY FAVOURITE QUESTION TO GET!

I wasn't sure if you wanted fandom specific ones so here's just a collection of some of my all time favourites. These aren't one's that I've linked on this blog before, just because I already have given those appreciation posts and I have SO MANY FICS and authors that I love. Anyways, all of these are /reader - and most have mature tags, so just be mindful : )

BG3:

[Ongoing!] Hellish Rebuke by @bludazey is an Ascended!Astarion fic that answers the open ended state we left Tav and Astarion in. It's dark and filled with drama in such an addicting way I am literallly almost falling off my chair waiting to see what happens in it! Everyone within it is characterised well and the lore put into our MC makes choices a much more 3 dimensional thing as they are not a blank slate like the ingame Tav! [Complete!] Aleatory by @avas-poltergeist is a prequel fic for a durge run centering Astarion x Durge and it's a fic that knows the tone it should take and executes it perfectly. I especially love how it doesn't hold your hand through it's narrative and doesn't treat it's reader as if they are stupid. Some actions, feelings and thoughts are almost done as if they are environmental storytelling and I am a SUCKER for it. Also I just adore the durge being a halfling- they are characterised perfectly. Transformers:

[Complete!] Gravity by @shinyportalsandthings - ohhh my god I dont even what to say. This fic is a Starscream fic and wheeew boi it can be hard to make the gremlin a compelling romance but this fic blows it out the park. The dialogue is witty and natural- I adore the scale of it because it's not a "let's end the millions of years long war" it's just a "let's go be happy" - UGHHH It's just so fun, redeemed Starscream I love you. ((More reccomendations for Transformers are on my metal dune, found here!)) Misc:

(Doom (2016)): [Complete] Rip And Tear (Into My Ass) by Goremungunder is one of two inspirations for my entire writing style. It's a Doomslayer insert fic and it's just perfect in every way. Such an enjoyable read and an excellent fic for a x reader tag that doesn't get much attention. I think about this fic at least once a month and have read through it like 5 times pls give it some love its amazing.

(League of Legends) [Complete - I believe- but set to ongoing] Dream a Little Dream by OrangeCrushCrushCrush is just hilarious and at the end of each chapter even features some art made by the author! All of their work is enjoyable to read, even without knowledge on the world or a pre-existing like for the character. I mean, the second half of this fic is centered around Yorick Mori- a character in League I had literally NEVER touched- but then I read this and mained top lane for like 4 months after.

I think I could actually go on forever, but I'll stop here for now. Thank you for the question Star! I really love getting to go through my bookmarks and deciding what I want to reread XD

[whoppert]

I have a WIP fic for this but just in case it rots in my computer (pls don't steal it)

Unasended Astarion, who frees the vampire spawn and follows them to the Underdark at the end of the game

at first he's paralyzed by depression that he's stuck here in the dark. it's not fair (it really isnt) but over time he realises that the spawn have made a little community and they consider him a... folk hero????

He's shocked and they're like obviously u r a hero, u freed 7000 slaves and killed their master like how much more hero do you get? They give him big fancy titles and he LOVES that - Astarion Breaker of Chains, Freedom Giver, Protector of the Helpless, Light in the Darkness.

He doesn't really believe them (he certainly doesn't tell them how close he got to killing them all) but he'll let them sing his praises.

This sends him into a further depression spiral because this was his fault, he brought these people to Cazador, he's the reason they were enslaved in the first place. He really has to learn to regulate his emotions and process things in a healthy way and for the first time he has more than just his friends but a whole town's worth of people to help him. They're particularly sympathetic to his brand of trauma and help him feel less alone.

Only eventually he starts believing them. Why can't he be a hero?

Overtime he starts to really care about this little community :) he's the defacto leader (even tho he hates that) and so any issues are his to deal with. I like to think they build a town in the Underdark and Astarion's familiarity to the Myconids means they help (they could not give two shits about spawn in the Underdark because they don't eat mushrooms). He and his siblings council the feral spawn until they learn to control themselves, teaching them that it's their decision if they want to feed on animals or people but there are strict rules about what people they can feed on (mostly bad people but there is no short supply of horny drow that are willing to be fed on). When threats come to the village, Astarion is leading the charge against their enemies (not everyone is pleased to have the spawn in the Underdark even if they are being pretty responsible about it). He's learning about Gur culture from the child spawns and learns the error of his racist ways.

Eventually, he becomes the Folk Hero.

He negotiates freedom for Underdark Gnomes ('Do you want 7000 Vampire Spawns let loose in Menzoberranzan? Cause I'll release them. Free your slaves or I'll have my children bring me the heads of all the Great Drow Houses.')

He works with Gale to enchant their little town to have a day/night cycle (it's not sunlight, just light because he misses it) and the City of Spawn is the only place in the entirety of the Underdark you can feel the warmth of the 'sun' on your skin

His friends come to visit and he is so changed for the better. He's happy, he's joyful. He no longer worries about spending eternity alone. He reclaimed his soul, something he thought lost to Cazador entirely

In 1000 years the Underdark is a fundamentally better place - all because he's there

[bloodlust-1]

The Consort ₊⁺જ⁀➴

NSWF | Explicit 18+ | Angst | Blood | Ascended Astarion | Spawn Tav | Dark | Smut | Trauma | Stockholm Syndrome | Violence

Ascended Astarion x fem Tav

Chapter: 9 | The Break of Dawn

Summary: In a tumultuous tale of love, power, and betrayal, Tav finds herself entangled in a complex relationship with Astarion, a heartless vampire lord who will stop at nothing to maintain control over his newfound spawn. As Tav witnesses Astarion’s transformation and descent into darkness, their love is put to the ultimate test amidst love triangles, drama, and the pursuit of world domination. Redemption seems like an elusive goal while Tav grapples with the realization of who her lover has truly become.

Notes: hi hi!!! I wanted to give a short update about my life rn! Recently I got an internship (congrats to me :D) So I'm not sure if I'll be able to necessarily update every Monday, but I'll try to keep it on a weekly update, just can't say a specific day. ^^ That's all, Enjoy ~ Unedited atm

AO3 LINK | MASTER LIST

Lovely photo by @astarionposting

"....For fucks sake!"

~

Astarion hastily wrapped a towel around his waist, grabbing an extra one and dashing threw the palace corridors. He followed the trail of wet footprints left on the carpet.

Holy hells she is SO impulsive.

There she was.

Completely naked, water still glistening on her skin.

Arm stretched out, her silhouette illuminated the glow of the sun's rays. Her face was lost in the streaks of sun. She hesitantly extended her hand towards its warmth...If she could just...touch it.

The light’s warm embrace tickled Tav's skin. There were no burns. No pain. Just the soft touch of warmth as her fingers dance in the shadows.

Nature is - beautiful.

There was a ringing in her ear, and in that moment she felt alone - in her own wonder of something so simplistic.

....

...

..

..

.

“Tav! You’ll flash the entire city!”

Astarion spat out, hurrying swiftly to shield her from prying eyes. Embarrassment, annoyance, and amusement read clearly on his face. He darted towards Tav, protectively wrapping his arms around her shoulders. The towel covered her breasts before whisking her away from the revealing view.

Astarion practically dragged Tav before shielding her in the nearest room. And when he did, Astarion cracked into a chuckle, although he was still very much annoyed.

“I forgot how reckless you can be when given the slightest chance,” he remarked unamused, giving her body a tight squeeze before peering down at her face.

Tav, still caught in complete disbelief, whispered in awe, “I can see my reflection…I can touch the light…” Her childlike wonder tugged at Astarion’s heart, reminding him of old times. How her reckless choices used to always keep him on his toes.

And they still do.

How he loved her so deeply.

With a sway of his shoulders, “Gods, I hope no one saw what I can only see,” he sighed, grateful she didn't make it past the front doors.

Tav snuggled into her towel, a slight sadness crinkled her eyes, "So that's how you felt when you could feel the sun again."

Astarion stiffened at her words. An uncomfortable feeling washed over him at the thought of his spawn days. But there was a strange comfort in understanding how he must've felt.

He shook his head like he was drowning out the statement, quickly changing the subject with a mischievous look on his face.

"How about we stroll the city, hm?" He tilted his head with smirked lips.

Tav gasped, "Yes!"

~

Excitedly shaking her head while stuffing her face with a smile, cheeks full of food, she indulged in grilled pork strips. They were on a long wooden stick being sold at a small vendor in the city, and Tav had a handful of them like it was lollipops.

“I knew you were excited but darling, is this really necessary?” Astarion teased as he watched her enjoy the street food.

“Duh, this was the best grill I’ve ever tasted!” she exclaimed between bites, savoring the pork

“You and Karlach have horrible taste,” he remarked playfully, clearly enjoying their banter by the sway of his shoulders.

“If having good taste means agreeing with you, then I’ll happily stick to being tasteless,” she retorted with a mischievous grin before taking another huge bite of the delicious pork strips.

Tav knew eating would never give the real strength she needed, but Gods who cares when it tastes this good.

“I’m sooo hurt,” he joked back. “You little devil, I didn’t think you had it in you, really.”

Suddenly, Tav playfully waved the savory pork stick under Astarion’s nose, a fangy grin tugging at the corners of her lips.

She teased him, “Come on, Astarion ~ just a bite won’t hurt.”

Astarion jumped back, shaking his head continuously with a gross expression on his face, "By the gods, no!"

Tav giggled at Astarion’s dramatics and simply shrugged, "Suit yourself."

I feel more confident.

Free.

I love the outside world.

How contradictory it was, but really, she couldn’t be more happier with her favorite food and lover by her side in this bustling city.

No one can take this away from me.

Astarion leaned in to plant a gentle kiss on Tav's forehead, his lips barely grazing the skin before Tav darted off, leaving Astarion momentarily stunned.

"Always one step ahead, aren't you?" Astarion mumbled to himself, admiring the sway of Tav's hips in the distance.

Tav weaved through the bustling marketplace, a sharp voice pierced the air, "Hey! You ought to pay for that, thief!" The hafling man pointed directly at Tav.

Astarion's gaze snapped toward the commotion, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

Tch.

The vendor's voice rang out again, more insistent this time. Without missing a beat, Astarion sternly intervened, stepping forward with quiet authority. His piercing red gaze locked onto the cowering halfling vendor, who visibly wilted under Astarion's intimidation.

"Don't ever point those grubby fingers at her again."

Astarion pulled a small pouch of gold from his pocket, dropping it down at the man's feet before glaring at him a moment more in deathly silence. The halfling thanked Astarion profusely, and Astarion left to follow Tav.

~

The sound of bells filled the air, accompanied by loud cheering. Astarion frantically scanned the area, searching for Tav amidst the crowd until his eyes landed on a nearby sanctuary where a wedding ceremony was being held.

Pushing his way through the swarm of guests, he finally spotted Tav standing at a distance, her gaze fixed on the couple exchanging wistful smiles in their best suits.

As Astarion approached her, he noticed the somber expression on Tav's face. Standing side by side, he discreetly peeked over at her, curious about her thoughts.

What's the long face for?

Tav tilted her head slightly, her eyes distant, and let out a dreamy sigh. "I always wished to be in their position as a little girl," she confessed softly.

Astarion raised an eyebrow in surprise, his tone teasing yet affectionate. "Darling, really? I didn't know you still cared for mortal activities like that," he remarked with a click of his tongue.

With a thoughtful expression, Tav replied, "Hmm... I always thought it was sweet."

Astarion quickly averted his head away from her, a slight blush of insecurity burning his cheeks.

Fuck.

Am I doing something wrong?

Astartion peeked back at Tav's fingers. Noticing the absence of a ring. He bit down at his inner cheek, guilt gnawing at his stomach. Tav clutched her hands together, her eyes lost at the ceremony.

The sun perfectly kissed her skin so radiantly.

Astarion calls Tav his consort all the time, yet he never really popped the question per-say. The "will you be my wife," kind of question.

Shit, maybe I am doing something wrong.

To officially call Tav my wife? Just the thought made his darkest desires flutter deep in his chest.

Astarion reached out to catch Tav's hands in his, and he pulled her close. A kiss pressing against the softness of her knuckles made her giggle at his affection, "S-Star~..ahah...are you okay?"

"Just fine, love." He smiled against the cervice of her knuckles.

Tav's heart skipped, a softness in his eyes as they stared at her.

Maybe it was just love in the air.

Tav’s heart was pounding like crazy, feeling this sudden urge to just leap into Astarion’s arms. The air was so joyous, and before she even knew what she was doing, Tav found herself closing the gap between them.

Without even thinking, she pulled Astarion into a searing kiss in a fiery moment that made sparks fly.

Astarion was caught off guard by the unexpected move, stumbling back a bit, but his hands naturally found their place around Tav’s waist.

Tav wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in closer and deepening the kiss with a passion that felt like a thousand blazing suns.

Everything else around them seemed to fade away, locked in this moment of pure love. The only thing they could hear was the sound of their breathing mixing together, drowning out all other noise until all that mattered was the symphony of their racing hearts.

I love you, Tav.

The distant echoes of wedding bells rang in their ears, Tav and Astarion were lost in each other, bound by a force stronger than fate itself.

-

With bags full of treasures and clothing from their shopping spree, Astarion brought Tav back to their home. The exhaustion from the day weighed heavily on Tav as she sank into the plush carpet of their room, the soft fibers cradling her body.

All she wanted to do was sunbathe in the days of dwindling light.

The only sound breaking the stillness was the gentle sound of Tav’s snores, painting a picture of pure bliss.

Astarion walked into the room, his eyes falling on the soft rise and fall of her body. He chuckled for a brief moment before hesitating.

ASTARION'S POV

In his hand, he clutched onto a velvet box, the feelings of all kinds mixing deep into the pit of his stomach.

When Tav was practically running out of Astarion's sight, he managed to sneak off himself. And what he was able to easily snatch from the jewelers, made his lips crinkle into a smile.

It's just perfect.

That smile soon faded away when he pulled the velvet box out of his pocket. Opening it up to reveal two gold bands with an incrusted filigree.

He felt a shiver run down his spine as he gazed at the jewelry before turning his attention to Tav’s sleeping figure.

Deep breaths.

This is no biggie

just -

ask the question....

Astarion dramatically puffed his cheeks, while his hands were a nervous jumble, clutching tightly as he ran them frustratingly through his hair. With a deep, exhilarated sigh, Astarion tried to shake off the tension that gripped him.

"Gods!" He whispered with a growl in his throat.

Astarion paced back and forth, his fingers anxiously kneading into his hair. With a hand firmly planted on his hip, he clutched onto the small box.

By everything powerful, I never saw this day coming.

Cowering like a weakling over a question!?

This is more interesting than the time I found out Gale's mother, pet, and Whithers all hang out together...

A shudder cringed Astarion's face - Hells it still weirds me out today. Like...Why?

Astarion was just about to wake Tav up when his hand stopped mid-gesture.

No.

She might like something else better.

Astarion rubbed his chin before scanning the room. And an idea popped into his head. Astarion stuffed the velvet box into his pocket before retreating to a storage closet.

He swiftly grabbed a soft blanket and two plush pillows, tucking them securely under his arms as he made his way to the backyard of the palace. Placing the blanket and pillows neatly on the soft green blades.

Oh!

He also brought wine, of course.

Astarion was so critical of everything, but this must be perfect. Nothing more, nothing less.

This is giving me flashbacks when I met Tav in that forest. I wanted to pick the perfect tree to devour her on.

The sky fell dark and the stars twinkled in a blanket of crystals. Astarion wanted nothing more than to watch the stars until dawn broke with Tav.

She would like that.

Astarion hung his head back and let the wine flow down with a quick gulp. When he pulled away he signed out with nerves tingling his skin.

By image, Astarion was an all-powerful Ascendant. Behind closed doors, he was a regular elf with real-life emotions for his beloved.

Astarion wanted to fix something in their relationship. To take it that much further and devote himself, to giving something no one else could have.

A weakness he knew all too well himself. It bothered him, of course.

But love was hard to understand. He only knew he felt it.

END POV

~

Astarion went to go wake Tav, but he found Tav sitting with her legs crossed, staring out of the large window.

Softly, "They look better outside of a window." Astarion peeked behind her silence.

Tav turned towards him, their eyes locking in a silent exchange. Her lips parted slightly, and her piercing pearl eyes seemed to pierce Astarion like daggers.

"The stars I mean." Astarion reached out his hand towards Tav, who responded with a gentle smile as she grasped it. With a graceful pull, he lifted her onto her feet.

“Come with me,” he whispered softly. Their bodies illuminated by the moon's glow. "I want to show you something."

Tav simply nodded her head, her eyes still heavy with sleepiness, as he gently guided her through the courtyard, leading her down a winded path to a meticulous picnic set-up.

The nerves stirred in Astarion again, and he fell quiet while Tav giggled under her breath, "Woow...Well done, my 'dark lord'." Tav nudged her head at him with a cheeky smile, "This is beautiful."

Astarion let out a soft, amused chuckle and sat down with Tav on the plush blanket. He instantly grabbed two glass cups and filled them with wine. "For you, my love," he murmured.

With a simple, "Thank you." Tav took a sip.

Astarion on the other hand was watching her every move. His eyes followed her gestures closely, capturing each smile and noting every direction her eyes wandered towards. 

With a clear of his throat, he spoke up confidently, "Let us stay together, till the stars fade and daylight graces us once more."

Tav playfully quipped with a slight tilt of her head, “How romantic.” She tenderly placed her hand on his cheek and let out a soft giggle, "Of course, I'll stay here with you."

“It feels correct, sharing this moment with someone as stunning as you,” he whispered softly, his eyes full of admiration. With a gentle clink, their glasses met.

The stars littered the sky, and they basked in it, their laughter filling the air. They were in high spirits, fueled by wine and the joy of each other’s company.

They playfully teased and bantered, their voices mingled with the gentle rustle of leaves in the breeze. Wrapped in each other’s arms.

Astarion gently pulled Tav close to him, wrapping his arms around her, smoothing down the locs of hair cascading down her back, "Your hair has gotten longer."

"You think? I haven't noticed ever since i lost my reflection."

"You should grow yours out." Tav twirled one of his white curls around her finger. In a sultry voice, "You'd look so handsome."

“Hah - of course I would. I’m beautiful,” Astarion flashed a playful grin.

Tav rolled her eyes at his teasing remark, “Yeah, yeah, before I take it back.” Tav, with a mischievous glint in her eyes, leaned in and playfully nipped the tip of his nose. Astarion let out a surprised giggle as he shook his head in chuckles.

As the giggles died down, Tav averted her gaze. A look of worry crossed her face and Astarion narrowed his eyes. She was still on edge about what had happened just earlier.

It was a lot to sink in.

"What's on your mind?"

Tav anxiously bit down on her inner cheek, shrugging her shoulders, "You...and what had happened earlier..."

She paused for a moment before speaking, "That was - scary. Astarion we should really talk about it. Why would you see a hallucination?"

In a moment of complete and utter vulnerability and honesty, Astarion closed his eyes and spoke. He was too prideful to admit, but she was right. It was a conversation worth discussing.

With a single sigh, "Cazador has taken everything from me. And the only thing I've ever had is you. By letting Cazador's influence take over me, I felt you slipping away."

His arms tightened around Tav's waist. She could physically feel Astarion's muscles stiffen under her. "As for the hallucination...I don't know."

Tav nodded to his every word, gently tracing the veins in his arms for comfort. Her eyes glossed over as he poured his most vulnerable feelings, "He's gone. It's just you and me now. It will be for a very long time."

Astartion's lips chuckled softly at Tav’s heartfelt testament. The sound of his laughter was like a melody to Tav. His laughs were like a pool of lifetimes spent searching, yearning, and hoping for this very moment.

And I'm happy it was me.

As he gazed into Tav’s eyes, Astarion felt a surge of warmth in his dead heart. The kind that makes you question the simplicities of life - how rewarding it can really be.

“I have waited lifetimes to find you...” Astarion whispered, his voice soft yet brimming with sincerity.

Each word he spoke carried the weight of all the years he had spent praying of this moment, of this perfect hold he had around her.

How I prayed to every god for someone like her. Yet it was chaos that brought her to me.

“In every universe you are mine,” he continued, his gaze unwavering.

Astarion reached out a hand, trembling slightly with emotion, and gently brushed Tav’s cheek with his fingertips. She noitced him swallow hard.

Astarion was being truthful.

The pad of his thumb grazed over Tav’s bite marks on her neck, “For eternity.”

"Well, I'm glad to share this with you. Everything." Tav gave a fangy grin with her eyes crinkled and nose all scrunched up.

She cuddled into his arms, both feeling relaxed apart from Astarion with nervous jitters here and there. He traced small circles into her back dimples to edge off the nerves.

When should I ask?

Is now a good time?

What the fuck - how do people even do these kinds of things.

Mortals. ~Eye roll~

~

As the night sky stretched endlessly above them, Astarion and Tav found themselves nestled in each other’s arms. They lay side by side, fingers intertwined, gazing up at the twinkling stars that peppered the sky. Time seemed to stand still in this moment.

Hours slipped by unnoticed, their whispered conversations fading into a comfortable silence as they simply enjoyed each other’s company.

Astarion's ears perked up when he noticed the first hints of dawn began to paint the horizon in soft hues of orange and pink, "Tav!" Astarion softly shook Tav from her drifting off.

A soft glow of colors started to cast on them. Tav felt her cheeks flush with fever at the sight of Astarion’s eyes reflecting the light.

The sun on his face looked so handsome.

She turned away momentarily, staring up at the sky. Tav was looking waay too long because her eyes started to gloss over. But she couldn't look away, not when she was this excited to see the sun once again.

When she turned back to him, her breath caught in her throat at the sight before her.

Astarion was on one knee, a purple velvet box cradled delicately in his hand. The lid opened to reveal a golden ring that sparkled in the early morning light.

His face flushed a deep red in his cheeks and she had never seen him so nervous.

“Will you be my wife?”

Next part here

Any thoughts? Comment 👇🏼 I love to engage!

“I have waited lifetimes to find you. In every universe you are mine.” No matter the player and their looks, when romancing Astarion they will always be his love :] I thought it was sweet. BUT YES ASTARION. MAKE IT OFFICIAAALLL! i love soft Astarion

v-v to a fault.

[thelikesoffinn]

Hello Finn! You said you'd give advice for fanfiction, I think and I'm a bit desperate so I hope you can help me!

A follower asked me to write about Tav killing herself to be free from ascended Astarion and I have a lot of trouble with writing his reaction because I really don't know how he'd react to that???? It's stressig me out so much pls help me

Hello there, petal!

I think this ask has been sitting in my inbox for a while, I'm so sorry. I haven't been on top of it lately. (But I'm getting to it, I swear! I know a few people are still asking why I hate Astarions reaction to Tav's romp with Mizora and I'll definitely get to that, do not fret!)

But anyway, let's see how I can help, shall we? I did a bit of research and watched a ton of ascended Astarion content so that I could actually give you proper advice and ohhh boy, when I tell you that I've had clients like him before...blegh. But, as always, do take it with a grain of salt because I'm no expert. Just a social worker with a lot of time to watch vampire videos, apparently, haha.

So, to recap: Your Tav committs suicide in order to escape from ascended Astarions grasp. And I guess he only finds out after, seeing as you need his reaction, yes?

I can see why that would be stressful, but it's probably less because you really don't know how he'd react and more because there's a disconnect between the reaction he'd actually have and the reaction we all want.

As both a writer and a reader I'm not ashamed to admit that I'd want him to suffer. I'd want him to realise all his faults and where he went wrong and I'd want him to cry because he fucked it all up, so much so that he's now lost the one person that loved him despite everything he has done.

But with ascended Astarion, I don't think a reaction like that would be very likely. True vampires are a bit difficult when it comes to things like guilt and shame and loss, as in they don't really seem to take it the way normal people would.

Or, rather: They can't react to them the same way normal people would.

Where a normal person would go through an entire circle of mourning, a true vampire is probably going to throw a tantrum and create a demiplane that he can sulk in. (Looking at you, Strahd.)

Instead of sadness, It's very likely that he'd react with anger. A LOT of anger. The anger likely won't be self-directed - at most a little annoyance because he didn't lock them up harder and more securely - but it will most definitely be directed at Tav.

I don't think I need to explain that while ascended Astarion does not really love Tav anymore he does want them.

Tav is his. Their entire being belongs to just him. Only he get's to decide when and if they're allowed to die. They're his to destroy and his alone. So how dare they kill themself without his permission? How dare they take away what's rightfully his!?

And just as anger replaces sadness, it's very likely that blame overshadows guilt and shame. So he doesn't feel shame over how he treated Tav. He doesn't feel guilt over how he drove them to suicide. No, instead he blames Tav for their decision because they're spoiled and unthankful.

He is not the problem, they are. He gave them everything. Everything one could ever want, they had. He game them power. He gave them wealth. A palace. A life filled with all sorts of pleasure, right by his side. He granted them eternal fucking life. What more could they want? What more could anyone want? He did everything for them, and they threw it right back at him like a spoiled little brat. He should've been sterner, should've kept them on a tighter leash. Should have showed them his bad side so that they'd learn what staying on his good side meant.

The only thing he'd probably actually feel is loss, but once again... it'd be different. It's probably less the gut-wrenching feeling of loneliness that suddenly haunts you when you remember that you won't ever get to speak to someone again because they're no longer here and more the upset of loosing a beloved item. So more of a 'fucking hell that was my favourite fucking thing and now it's gone'. There'd probably be some despair in there because he can't simply replace Tav but that despair is, once again, likely tied to his possessiveness and not to true loss. He'd be desperate because he wants them - he wants them - but not because he's just lost the one he loves.

That's probably the reaction I'd expect of ascended Astarion and, as you can tell: It's not what one would expect of a fanfiction, yes? We'd expect the heartbreak and the sorrow, the guilt and the tears because we love Astarion and Astarion is supposed to love Tav. We want him to love Tav. And those who like him ascended want him to love Tav even as his ascended self.

Now, does that mean the reaction I described wouldn't make a good stroy? Absolutely not! In fact, I do believe it would be a nice switch up in between the very heavily romanticised ascended-fics because it adds that shot of realism. (As much realism as a high-elf-vampire can have, at least.)

So, what I'm trying to say is: Don't worry too much about what is "correct" and what isn't and instead focus on what you want to achieve. If you want to hit your readers with the sad truth of ascended Astarion, maybe go for the approach I described. And if you want to be a bit softer and more romantic, have the boy cry tears of woe.

Or you could go totally crazy and do both things - have someone watch him and describe how they see it - the points I just mentioned - but once you describe what's happening inside him, go full on romance novel and break our hearts!

Find your own path, petal, I'm sure it will be a lovely read either way!

[whatacaitastrophe]

Is It Over Now - Chapter 12

Previous Chapter

Chapter Song Inspiration: "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot" - Brand New

Chapter Warnings: Mystra

Spotify Playlist: Here

Chapter Notes: this is the last chapter of "Is It Over Now!" thank you so much to everyone who has read this fic and liked it, reblogged it, left comments etc. the next installment, "Everything Has Changed" is already on AO3, and i'll start uploading chapters here soon <3

also!! i have a discord server!! it was made to coincide with the twitch channel, but i need more friends to talk about bg3 with so pls come hang. link is above!

Chapter 12: Call Me A Safe Bet, I'm Betting I'm Not

“Astarion, we’re supposed to be packing.” Fallon giggles.

Astarion is also supposed to be in the kitchen, taking stock of what food they have left and how much of it is worth taking with them. Instead, he’s in their bedroom with his arms wrapped around Fallon’s waist from behind, peppering kisses across her neck and shoulders. “We’ve done enough packing for today, I think it’s time we take a well-deserved break.” 

“We just started!” Fallon argues, but she also does nothing to stop Astarion’s hands from slipping beneath the hem of her shirt. 

“We started yesterday.” His fingertips dance lightly over the skin above her trousers underneath her shirt. 

Fallon looks at the clock on the wall and giggles again. “You cheeky fucker, just because we started at half-ten in the evening and it’s now one in the morning does not count as starting to pack yesterday. It’s been two and a half hours!”

“Fallon, darling, I’m starting to think you don’t want to have sex with me. It’s going to give me a complex.” Astarion chuckles and he brushes her hair to the side to nip at the nape of her neck. 

She snorts with laughter when he says that. “Yes, because Ao forbid I try to actually make sure we’re prepared to leave for Velrea in four days,” she says drily, leaning into his touch and tilting her head further to the side to give him better access. “Nevermind that we’ve not gone a single day without having sex since the Winter Solstice.”

Astarion pauses for a moment, and Fallon does not need to look at him to know that her partner is digging through his memory to try and prove Fallon wrong. The dramatic huff following the silence is also telling: he knows she’s right. Not that this deters him at all. Instead the vampire changes tactics. “Well, when I live with the most beautiful woman in all of Faerun, how can I be blamed for wanting her constantly? I mean, what would you do if you were in my position?” His fingers deftly slip beneath the very top of her trousers, skimming over her hips. 

A shiver rolls across Fallon’s body, and she almost, almost, gives in. It’s been two months since the Winter Solstice, and Fallon and Astarion have been insatiable ever since. It’s like finally admitting how much they love each other woke up something inside of the them, and with it came a new level of virility that Lae’zel claimed makes them “impossible to be around for longer than an hour.” Truthfully, Fallon would love nothing more than to stop folding clothes and let Astarion take her right there on top of the freshly laundered pile but they have a deadline to meet. If they want to reach Velrea before the Spring Equinox, they absolutely must leave in four days’ time. 

“If I were in your position, I’d take a cold bath then go back to the kitchen.” She giggles. It is only then that Fallon turns around to face Astarion, and she plants a soft kiss on his lips, then pats his cheek when he pouts. “I promise to make it up to you, my love. I’ll even show you what I bought at Figaro’s when I went shopping with Shadowheart a couple days ago. It’s lacy and pretty, positively sinful and completely impractical for traveling.” Fallon teases him, biting her lip and batting her eyelashes. 

“Wicked woman. Absolutely wicked.” Astarion smirks, kissing her once more. “I’m holding you to that.” 

“I expect nothing less. Now go.” Fallon gently pushes him away from her, playfully smacking his backside as he leaves the room. 

The last time the two of them traveled together it was about as unplanned as it could get, considering they’d both been kidnapped and forced to make due with whatever happened to be on their person at first. Now that they have the time to plan and prepare, Fallon wants to do so. Even with it only being the two of them this time, Fallon easily resumed the leadership role she naturally took on during their adventures from the nautiloid to Baldur’s Gate, and Astarion was happy to let her. He’d even admitted to Fallon that was initially part of why he wanted her to come with him in the first place. “You’re better at making tough decisions than I am. Better at taking the emotions out of it, if you will.” He’d explained. 

Fallon could only hope that she is still able to think that logically in the event they are faced with danger. Things are different now, and there is far more at stake; namely, how far she would be willing to go to keep Astarion safe and to help him get what he wants. Fallon would never say she didn’t love Gale, but she certainly did not love Gale in the way she loves Astarion now. The way she feels about the vampire is soul-deep and all-encompassing. If anything ever happened to Astarion, she would scorch the entire world to save him. 

How is it possible that the two of them had so many clothes? It’s not like they were constantly leaving the suite. Astarion couldn’t unless it was dark outside, and Fallon’s sleep schedule was slightly closer to his these days because of it. When they did leave, it was only to go downstairs to the tavern, or occasionally to Wyll’s. Lae’zel and Shadowheart had returned to Creche K’liir, promising to visit more often, same with Karlach and Halsin back to The Grove. On top of that, when Astarion and Fallon were at home they were naked more than half the time because of their inability to keep their hands off of each other. 

Thank the gods they were clothed this evening, however, because the easy silence that filled the suite was interrupted by the sound of somebody opening a portal in the sitting room. “What the–”

“I seek an audience with Fallon of Baldur’s Gate.” An ominous female voice echoes through the suite, and Fallon freezes. She knows that voice. It’s a voice she’s only ever heard once before, but once was enough for her to know enough. Fallon grabs her sword on her way out of the bedroom, despite knowing that it will likely do little should the owner of the voice pick a fight. Astarion apparently had the same idea, for when they meet in the hallway, Astarion is holding a dagger. Quickly, Astarion kisses Fallon and whispers, “I love you,” before taking a step in front of her protectively as they enter the sitting room. 

At the sight of Mystra, Goddess of Magic, Fallon’s heart rate increases exponentially. She’s even more beautiful than Gale’s memories of her depicted, and on that alone, Fallon understands why Gale walked directly into her trap time and time again. Why in the nine hells is Mystra in her home? She quickly scans the sitting room for Gale, but the demi-god is not present. Fallon looks Mystra in the eyes and swallows as she desperately tries to keep her cool. 

“I can’t say I know what the protocol is when a goddess comes to visit. Am I to bow? Offer you tea? Drop to my knees and pray? Then again, you’re not my goddess, so I suppose I don’t need to do any of those things.” Fallon says cooly, and her grip tightens on her sword.

“Put your weapons away, I did not come here to harm you.” Mystra demands. 

“I’ll believe that when I see it.” Astarion snarls back at her, dagger raised. 

“You will not threaten me, vampire.” Mystra snaps.

“You’re the one who entered my home without an invitation, not the other way around,” He snaps back. “What do you want with Fallon?”

Mystra does not recoil when Astarion refuses to back down, but her presence seems to become less…overbearing, somehow. “I came to congratulate her.” 

Astarion and Fallon look at each other in confusion. “Congratulate me for what?”

“For ruining Gale of Waterdeep’s life.” 

Fallon’s blood goes cold, and her grip on her sword loosens. “What have you done to Gale?”

Mystra lets out a cold laugh. “Oh, it’s not a question of what I’ve done, Fallon of Baldur’s Gate, but a question of what Gale of Waterdeep has done. For you, because of you, however you wish to interpret it.”

Even Astarion is lowering his weapons now, and he takes a step back to hold Fallon’s free hand. Whatever Mystra is about to reveal, it’s definitely not good, and Gale is definitely not okay. “What did he do?” Astarion asks.

Mystra smirks. “Gale of Waterdeep has decided that he no longer wishes to become a god. He claims that if being a god means spending eternity without you in it, then he doesn’t want it.”

Oh no. Fallon’s heart drops into her stomach as she slowly puts the pieces together in her mind. She remembers what Gale said of his bargain with Mystra in order to achieve godhood, and what the stakes were. What the cost would be if he denied Mystra. Astarion must remember, too, because his grip on her hand tightens. 

“I told Gale of Waterdeep the consequences of his choice would be the same now as they were when I first offered him a chance to ascend to godhood. He chose you still. I simply needed to meet the woman who turned my chosen against me so thoroughly face-to-face, and to bring her a gift.” 

Whatever this gift is, Fallon is already certain it’s not much of a gift at all. Not for her, not for Astarion, and most certainly not for Gale. 

Mystra snaps her fingers, and Gale Dekarios is suddenly on the ground at Fallon and Astarion’s feet. He looks up at her weakly, and when he reaches for her, his entire body is shaking. Fallon’s sword hits the ground with a clang and lets go of Astarion’s hand, dropping to her knees in front of Gale.

“What have you done to him, you wretched bitch?!” Fallon screams at Mystra. Fallon reaches for Gale’s body and Astarion is almost immediately at her side, helping her pull Gale closer to them both, wrapping their bodies around Gale to protect him from Mystra. If that’s even possible at this point, as it seems the damage is already done.

“I have not done anything Gale of Waterdeep has not asked for,” Mystra says coldly. “He knew the consequences of defying me, turning his back on me, and chose you anyway, so I bring him to you, Fallon of Baldur’s Gate. For he is your problem now, in all his imperfect, entirely and ordinarily human disgrace.” 

Mystra says nothing else before stepping back through her portal, and Fallon and Astarion watch in shock as it closes. It is only once Mystra is gone that either of them realize Gale is inconsolable. 

“She– she took my magic. Fallon– it’s gone. I can’t feel The Weave anymore. Oh gods. It’s gone!” Fallon pulls as much of Gale into her lap as she can and holds him there as the man she once loved so fiercely completely breaks down. Even after everything Gale has done, he didn’t deserve this punishment. Taking away his access to The Weave was already cruel, but dropping him on his ex-lover’s doorstep? That was especially malicious. 

“It’s gone.” Gale continues to repeat, and Fallon just looks at Astarion desperately. For once, she does not know what to do. 

“Well,” Astarion sighs, and reaches for Fallon’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “I guess I’d better make sure we’ve got enough food for three, then.”

There’s no hesitancy in his voice and Fallon nods in agreement: Gale Dekarios of Waterdeep, mortal, non-magical, and human, is coming with them to Velrea, whether he likes it or not.

Masterlist

[tlonista]

Astarion fic recs, Batch 2

Thanks so much to everyone who had kind words for my Astarion fic rec list! My habit continues unabated so I wanted to throw out another little batch of mostly recent, mostly hurt/comfort-oriented Astarion-centric fanfic that I liked. As before there's references to Astarion's past abuse and assault so mind the AO3 tags.

Anyway happy holidays fellow pale elf fans, pls tip me off if you watched the latest Larian animated short and felt moved to write about shivering blanket-wrapped Astarion sitting on Karlach's lap.

Incomplete Multi-Chapter:

The Friends We Meet in the Dark by Copaline

Astarion is captured by monster hunters while spiraling over how to earn Tav's affections. Second in a series, but can be read standalone; one of two chapters posted. Big fan of its protective f!Tav, and there's some fun banter with the rest of the gang.

I Don't Know You Yet by thbreakofdawn

Nicely executed modern Bloodweave social media (text messages and Twitter) AU. Astarion is a sex worker and Gale is a grad student struggling with his relationship to his girlfriend Mystra, and they strike up a text-only friendship after a random connection. Very effective use of the multimedia format.

If the Cross on the Door Doesn't Scare You by Aylwyyn228

Sweet, angsty "Astarion starves in the Shadow-Cursed Lands because he's too scared to ask for blood" fic with the added turn of Gale guessing exactly what's happening, but being too toxic-blooded to actually help unless Astarion tells the others about his vampirism.

a half-blown rose by winter_writes

Astarion's "Tav didn't kill Cazador" dialogue in the Patch 5 Epilogue is one of the saddest things in the game, and I'm so excited to see writers running with it. In this fic Astarion was recaptured by Cazador post-game and then finally freed thanks to a fire... but he's terribly injured in the aftermath and ashamed to have his ex-lover see him. Only one chapter so far but I'm a big fan.

death by rock & roll by falco_c

This hasn't been updated in a while and Astarion hasn't actually appeared in it yet, but I'm throwing it in as a bonus because I really love its Almost Famous-y music industry AU vibe. Its translation of the tadpole ensemble into rock-and-roll burnouts, featuring in-world interviews, is absolutely delightful.

One-Shots:

Untitled by trulycertain (Tumblr-only)

It's spawn Astarion realizing he can turn into a bat and flying around and getting tired with Tav around, that's it, that's the fic. Completely adorable fluff. But "Is this what it’s meant to be like? Being a spawn? Not a starved slave?" kills me.

Family by sword_and_lance

Astarion goes to see his family after being turned, and Cazador cements his control over Astarion by offering him some scraps of comfort in the painful aftermath. It's short and restrained and chilling and so so sad.

Pointy Ears by SpaceBarbarianWeird

Yes another fluffy fic, what am I coming to. But who doesn't want to read about Astarion rediscovering trust by letting Tav touch his sensitive pointy ears with some brief digressions into elven social norms and gift-giving.

Complete Multi-Chapter:

Desperate Measures by Asidian

One of the fics that inspired "If the Cross" above, and one of my favorite "Astarion in the Shadow-Cursed Lands" pieces. Very good at balancing a sympathetic take on the character with him being, like canon Astarion, deceptive and a little bit abrasive when cornered. Plus bonus fun with Scratch.

this is a gift (it comes with a price) by ryttu3k

A post-game Ascended Astarion fic in which AA is literally soulless and knows it, and his sometimes-lover Duke Wyll Ravengard discovers over a series of nighttime visits that he secretly hates it. One of my favorite Ascension fics in part because, intentionally or not, it feels weirdly true to the experience of depressive anhedonia?

The Light of the Seven by Verelia

@reddenmore mentioned this one in the tags on my last fic rec list and I wholeheartedly agree; it's a real good Szarr Spawn Family character study delving into the backstory and personality of each of Cazador's "children," including Astarion.

[galedekkarios]

i know that gale gets the Old Man treatment because he's a human with grays and creaky knees and pouts about his beauty sleep but astarion is 200 years his senior and already has white hair and wrinkles of his own too so like. he is Quite Literally Older. and that all could be used beautifully in the land of fanfic (or art!). :)

as such i would love to see the younger (but acts like they're older) bf x older (but acts like they're younger) bf dynamic with them more often. please give me astarion teasing gale for acting like a retired wealthy dowager already at his age and gale getting all >:o!!! and pointing out that astarion is quite literally older than him tyvm. by quite a bit btw. in case he forgot. and then he goes to tug one of his white curls but astarion bats his hand away before he can do it because How Fucking Dare You.

and you can add other angsty things, too. like maybe gale is younger but more accomplished vs astarion who's older but has nothing or not as much to show for it. gale loses his job (gale's folly) and thinks his life is over before it's already begun, or that he's wasted so much of his life and waaah who will ever want him now (insert more catastrophizing here), and astarion who is older, been there done that already and 10x worse, and is very much Not Dead and still living his life how he wants now no matter what anyone has to say about it, just blinks at him like Are You Fucking Stupid (affectionately).

or whatever else. my point is that astarion is two hundred something and gale is thirty to forty something and as such i would love to see gale not be the old geezer bc compared to astarion he's basically a spring chicken. i mean, astarion calls wyll a child or something of the sort in one of their banter lines, and the difference between 24 and 30-40 is much less than the difference between 30-40 and 200+. so, like. pls.. gimme, gimme... 🥺🤲

[partmathpartmagic]

And isn’t that just like a sister? (1/2)

tw for references to orin/bhaal shit | Read on AO3 | part 2

"She wants to destroy you—but with her, for the first time, you think you make sense."

Sooo I think this is part 1 of a two-parter about Durge and Astarion having… complicated relationships with their families? I am *trying some stuff* here and idk if I like all of it but I am forcing myself to post it and not overthink it, pls enjoy and be nice

You knew before you knew, the sight of Orin up there with her—formerly your—co-conspirators, the way her braided hair moved when she turned, the way she stood. The shape of her. You knew.

But you needed her to give you the word for it. Sister, she calls you, and time stops.

It’s almost funny, really. For weeks now, you’d been hoping to find family once you reached the city. Family could give you something to anchor yourself to, something to orient yourself around. They would tell you who you were, though admittedly you had started to get the feeling that you didn’t want to know.

Still, even if you’d been made into a monster, you couldn’t have started that way.

Except, apparently, you could.

Now you’re standing in the street on a beautiful afternoon in front of your sister. Passersby should notice her, but they don’t, going about their days as usual. The smell of rotting flesh wafting off her scraps of clothing should be noticeable, if nothing else, but surely the chosen of Bhaal has her ways of staying hidden.

It’s not a smell that bothers you, though you wish it was. To you, it smells like home.

You’re staring at her white eyes and you remember the way you tried to see your reflection in them as a child, but they were too light and you were just a faint silhouette. Your eyes, solid black, reflect everything around them. People–and, perhaps, gods–always saw themselves in you, reflected back, and it drew them to you when Orin only ever unnerved them. So she was left behind, and now you remember, and you blame yourself for not seeing it until it was too late, but it was never personal. You were cold where Orin burned hot, calculated where Orin was passionate. You were better suited. That’s all it was.

But for your sister, everything is personal.

Astarion is next to you, and there’s disgust in every line of his face as he looks at her. You look back at Orin, and yes, you suppose you understand. It’s hard to see her objectively, though. An hour ago, she was just a distant enemy. Now, you know her too well to know what she looks like. She’s not a body, she’s a manic laugh, a vicious smile, a tongue cleaning a blade. She’s dark entity that followed you like a shadow, trying to cut your feet out from under you since the day she was born. She’s your little sister.

Her form shifts in your memory, but you know the smell of her blood. You know exactly how much pressure it takes to break her skin with a dull knife. And you know, above all, that you tried to help.

You tried so hard to explain to Orin that she was doing too much, that she was too eager. She loved Bhaal so much that it made him hate her. She hadn’t even waited for her grandfather to call her to his bed, offering herself up the moment he gave her a second glance, and he’d grown sick of her so quickly. She just needed, and needed, and needed, and she had given you no choice. You had no choice but to pull away. You and the other adults had conversations she didn’t understand, lost in her twisted fantasy land. She didn’t understand.

But it was never for lack of intelligence. You see her now, looking between you and Astarion, and you know she sees the threads that connect you. It’s her gift, one of many. Given half a chance, she will stretch them tight and play them like a harp before slicing through them—no, not slicing. Gnawing them one by one, letting them fray and unravel to a single fiber before they snap on their own. Making it last. She knows at a glance that he’s the most important thing in your life, and you’ve barely even realized it for yourself.

As she calculates how to hurt you most, you remember teaching her how to braid her hair with small fingers. She still wears it like that, down her back. Your heart is tender, horrible, and you wish, now you’ve had a chance at a new start, that you had shown her anything else, anything other than the world you were born into. But how could you have shown her what you yourself didn’t know existed?

In another life, she’d have been an artist.

She smiles and tilts her head, and time starts again, the sounds of the city gate crashing over you, a cool hand at your back, holding you steady.

Steady is something she’ll never know. She doesn’t know enough to want it, and she knows too much.

Your sister is disappearing in front of your eyes, and you’re relieved, but panic rises in your belly. You hadn’t realized what it would mean, having someone who knew the darkness you grew in. She wants to destroy you—but with her, for the first time, you think you make sense.

A cool hand is at your back, and you let her slip away.

Perhaps it’s enough to be understood from the outside. Perhaps a family you build from scratch is enough.

You let the hand pull you close, and you turn away.

[sweetheartmanor]

Winter Love

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

Pairing: Astarion x Barry (OC)

Word count: 2,005

Warnings: Nongraphic sex, biting, vampire feeding on blood

A commission I got from the very wonderful denimlich on toyh.ouse! Barry is their persona!

Life with Astarion was relatively peaceful in Baldur's Gate, and Barry couldn't be happier. They did go through a lot together while they still had the tadpoles in their heads, but after the removal, life was good. Barry shivered as they walked to the home they shared with their beloved. Winter had crept in and was now in full force.

Astarion shrugged off his winter coat as the two stepped inside their cozy home, a whine escaping his lips as the house did little to shield him from the cold winter air.

“Darling it’s still so cold, is the fireplace even lit?” The vampiric elf asked, glancing over to his partner before reaching over to dust off some of the snow off Barry’s head almost absentmindedly. “How about we sit by it for a nice snuggle, hm?”

"I can get it going again." The human said, a small smile gracing their face at their partner's affectionate little gesture. This was a side of Astarion that only they saw, and Barry reveled in it. "Why don't you get us a blanket while I get it started?" Shrugging off their coat as well and hanging it, they padded to the fireplace. There was a nice, soft rug a safe distance from it. The perfect place for warm cuddles. They got the fire going quickly and added a couple of the logs that were stacked beside the fireplace.

Astarion could already feel the fire warm the air in the room as he searched around for a nice thick blanket, pulling the large roll of fabric close once acquired. He scurried back to the warmth of the fire and sat down on the fuzzy rug, wrapping the blanket around his frame before beckoning Barry into a warm embrace, well, as warm of an embrace as they could get with a vampire lover.

“That’s much better, isn’t it? All nice and warm…” He breathed out, the contentment clear in his voice.

Astarion's skin was cool against Barry's, and the human took their partner's face in their hands. They knew it wouldn't do anything to warm up the vampiric elf, but they knew how much he liked feeling the warmth of their body against his. Under the blanket, there was no space between them, and they liked it that way.

"Well, I'm definitely a lot warmer than I was outside, but still need a little time for the chill to be completely gone.”

Astarion’s expression softened exponentially as he felt the warmth of Barry’s body against him, making the vampiric rogue practically melt. His partially closed eyes opened right back up when they spoke, a cheeky little idea coming to mind.

“I might have an idea to warm us up a bit faster, if you’re up for it, darling..” He muttered out softly, lowering his head so he was speaking right into Barry’s ear.

A shiver ran up Barry's spine, and they couldn't help but grip the front of Astarion's tunic, "Star..." Their voice was soft as they addressed their lover. "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" They hadn't thought about it before now, but now they instinctively pressed their thighs together. Well, it was certainly something that would warm them up quickly.

“If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, then you’d be correct…” The vampire hummed, a cool hand toying with the waistband of Barry’s trousers. It was certainly one way to keep warm, snuggled together by the fire, connected in the most intimate of ways. “And perhaps.. I could have a small snack during?” Astarion asked, giving them playfully pleading eyes.

Barry let out a soft sigh as they felt Astarion playing with the waistband of their trousers. They shifted slightly to get into a more comfortable position.

"Well, I don't see why you can't. Don't want my beloved hungry." They grazed their fingers lightly over his arm. They wouldn't admit out loud how pleasurable it was to have him feed off of them, especially during the more intimate moments.

A happy, pleasurable tremor ran through Astarion’s body as he pressed a small kiss to the shell of Barry’s ear, a soft thank you escaping him as he tugged down their trousers and underwear enough to give them enough space to connect in such delicious ways. One of his skilled hands slipped up Barry’s top as his other went to tug down his own trousers, pressing small kisses to his beloved’s face and neck. “I love how warm you are, my dear…”

The vampiric elf's cool touch had goosebumps rising on Barry's skin. With just a single touch, they were already putty in Astarion's hand, and they trusted him enough after as long as they had been together, that they could relax easily and give in to him. They leaned up and kissed him softly as his hand explored the skin underneath their top.

Astarion grinned a little at how easily Barry gave into his cool touches, revealing how much trust the two had put into each other since the events of the illithids. He could feel every jolt and shudder from the difference between their warm body and his cold hands as he felt them up and down, his fangs teasingly snagging on their bottom lip. “There we go dear~” He cooed, pulling Barry impossibly closer to himself.

Barry let out a strangled mewl when they felt his fangs snag on their lip. It was embarrassing that such a small action had heat rushing to their core. Their hands fisted in the front of his shirt. "Gods, you're such a tease, star..." Their voice was still soft and a bit shaky from the arousal that was rushing through their veins now. They wondered if he could taste it in their blood..

Astarion’s tongue swiftly lapped up any blood that leaked out from Barry’s nicked lip as he pulled away from the kiss, giving them a slightly cheeky fanged smile, “Don’t you enjoy it when I’m a tease though, darling?~ Oh I know you do…” He cooed, taking the moment of distraction and the appearance of an odd chill that wriggled its way into the house through a possibly cracked open window to slowly push his sex into his partner’s, keeping Barry’s body nice and snug against his.

The sudden intrusion had Barry crying out and clinging to Astarion. It didn't hurt, not with how wet the human was and how often they did this, but the familiar stretch was very pleasurable. They had to take a deep breath and tried to relax, since their body was clamping down on Astarion's cock. It was like their body was trying to pull him in deeper.

Astarion hissed a little at the additional warmth enveloping his normally unnaturally chilled body, nuzzling his face into the warm crook of Barry’s neck, where he let out a pleasant little sigh of contentment.

“I like this..” Astarion muttered, his fangs lightly scraping against their neck as he spoke. The connection, something so intimate, acted as a reminder of all they’ve been through together as well as respite from the winter chill. He loved it.

Barry put their hand on the back of Astarion's head, their fingers threading through his silvery hair as they pushed his face closer to the crook of their neck. The scraping of his fangs against their skin had their sex fluttering around them.

"I love being this close to you, even just cuddling..." They grabbed one of his hands in their free one and laced their fingers together before trying to pull him closer. Connected like this, they felt like they were one with their undead lover, and it filled Barry's heart with joy.

Astarion felt a shudder run through his body, both from the stimulation of their sexes together, but the comfort he felt. The crackling fire, the howling wind outside that could only barely reach the two of them, the feeling of just… safety. The comfort of knowing that he’ll be okay with Barry there made him melt all over again.

“I feel the same, darling..” He muttered, his fangs lightly pricking Barry’s soft skin to draw a little bit of blood as a snack.

Barry gasped as they slowly started rocking their hips, their hand still stroking and running through Astarion's hair. They felt so safe up against their lover, felt so safe in his arms. Even if he was feeding off of them a little.

"Gods, star.... I can never understand why it feels so good to be your little snack." They turned their head slightly, grazing their lips along the pointed ear that was in their reach, knowing how much he liked that. The pace of their lovemaking was slow as they took the comfort of being so close together.

Slight color came to his cheeks and the tips of his ears, a slight pout pulling at his lips in response to the teasing little peck at his ear, the color coming from the intake of blood as his tongue eagerly swiped up any precious crimson ichor.

“Perhaps you were just destined to be my precious little blood bag hm..?” The vampire cooed, his voice muffled just slightly from Barry’s skin, planting gentle kisses where the puncture wounds from his fangs were to ease any stinging so it didn’t disturb the moment.

The teasing words had Barry giggling as their hips lazily kept their pace. "Maybe I am~ Are you complaining, love?" They teased Astarion back. "You did once compare the taste of my blood to a fine wine~" They gasped when they angled their hips a certain way and Astarion's cock struck that sweet spot perfectly. This and the stimulation the closeness of their bodies was applying to their clit has the human's legs shaking slightly.

Astarion’s breathing hitched at how they moved on his cock, a hand snaking down to rest on Barry’s thigh, feeling how their legs twitched and trembled at their coupling. “What I said is still true you know, better than any wine or animal blood I’ve ever had..~” He hummed, clenching his jaw a little as the couple remained so intimately connected in such a soft, loving way. Oh how he’d go to the hells and back, to stay in this moment with his darling. “Shit..”

Barry chuckled softly at the profanity. "What's wrong~? Too good to hold back~?" They tightened their grip on their darling's hand. Being connected together with every part of their bodies possible made Barry feel warm with love and adoration. "I love you, Astarion. So much more than you'll ever know." They nuzzled into his hair, affectionately, breathing in his scent.

Astarion shuddered at the verbal confirmation of their intimate relationship, shutting his pretty ruby red eyes as he inhaled their scent. “I.. feel the same, darling…” He murmured, giving Barry’s hand a squeeze in response. Sometimes moments of just pure affection were still a bit much for him, but oh did he love every second of it. “Darling..” He breathed out, shaky as he gently rocked his hips up into them.

A soft keen came from the human as their hips stuttered a little bit. "S-so close..." They said, pressing a soft kiss to the vampire's temple. They were breathing a little heavier, their legs twitching a bit more. It wasn't long until they were pushed over the edge with a moan they muffled against Astarion.

Astarion’s body tensed as he gently bit down on them again to muffle his own moans, the feeling of Barry’s warm heat squeezing him for all he was worth sending him tumbling over his peak along with them. His hips jutted forward as both of their orgasms hit. It wasn’t hard like other times they’ve coupled together, but it was just as good. The fire continued to crackle and warm the room as the couple stayed like that on the comfy carpet, connected and surrounded by the warm blanket and their love for each other. Winter was just a bit more bearable when they were together…

[yenabeans]

this is for my previous reblog doing the Baldur's Gate 3 Companion!Tav Ask List 👀👀👀

this was so fun to write, I highly encourage giving it a try with your beloved tavs/durges. I'd like to see what this would look like with my completely separate evil durge Melantha, but this is Kate's

I did every one for my girl because I had time to spare, that was fun and challenging. Not completely accurate to my AU, but still fun nonetheless to wonder what would happen if she was in that timeline. Enjooooy ⏬️⏬️

if you want me to elaborate on any, pls let me knowwwww I love talking about Kate.

for notes going in, she's paired with Astarion and Raphael

General

1. Where can your Tav be recruited?  Are they first encountered on the Nautiloid, or in the Nautiloid crash region?  Or are they not recruitable until a later act?

A. Her first appearance would be in Act 1 when Raphael teleports the PC to the House of Hope. She wouldn't interact with the PC, but she could probably be seen eating at the table or watching from afar in the inner balcony. She would later be recruitable in Act 3 in Sharess' Caress only if the PC accepts Raphael's deal.

2. Do the other companions have special comments or reactions upon recruiting your Tav?

A. They would most likely be wary and more on the untrustworthy side of her in the beginning given her devilish background. Given that though, they wouldn't help but feel an overpowering charm come from her that compells them to trust and listen to her.

3. Does your Tav have any comments or advice when you recruit other companions?

A. She's good at reading people (and their minds) so she would give her honest opinion based on wether the companion would be helpful or a hindrance.

She's wary of Shadowheart. Keeps her distance from Lae'zel. Has respect for Karlach and Wyll, and enjoys conversations with Gale. She adores Halsin and isn't too fond of Minthara.

4. What sort of general actions raise or lower their approval?

A. This will be a long one. Despite her history of being in the hells and around Raphael, she's actually pretty good aligned, to an extent. She'd sacrifice 1000+ people to save one animal any day of the week, so she's no saint. But usually, she'll try to do her best to help all she can, so good deeds will gain her approval. But above all else, how animals/creatures are treated dictates how she thinks. Pet a cat? 5 approval easy. Help an animal in need? +10 every time. The same is 10x worse if actions are taken against animals. Any help to a person who has a history of harming animals/nature, she'll disapprove of (or worse). Even if said history happened a long time ago. Other things she would disapprove of are being blatantly rude for no reason, especially to people who are genuinely kind (like Alfira for example).

5. Are there any instances where your Tav can permanently leave the party, depending on player character actions?

A. Like I touched on in the last question, animal treatment is her biggest thing. If the PC were to cause any harm to an animal themselves, she would permanently leave or even start combat considering how bad the action was. Yes she would get Raphael involved, enjoy that fight

6. Do they have any secrets that can be revealed?  What are the prerequisites for this secret coming to light?

A. She has a pretty dark past, and unironically, her back is full of scars and brands that she keeps hidden away as well. She wouldn't openly talk about her past to anyone unless they were romantically involved, so unless that happens, it is unlikely.

Other than that, she has some pretty insane powers given to her from Raphael/the crown. But she wouldn't use them unless absolutely necessary, say the party is about to be obliterated. She would swoop in and save the party before then

7. Do they have their own personal quest that spans the course of the game?  Can it take different branching paths depending on the choices the Player Character makes?

A. Honestly, probably not too much since most of her time is spent in Avernus/the rest of Baator. In my AU, the Crown of Karsus is already in their possession so it doesn't really align with the BG3 timeline. Unless it's changed in this case and the crown was stolen from her and Raphael rather than Mephistopheles and the deal is for the PC to return the crown to the rightful owners 👀 Help her finish taking over Baator and maybe you'll get rewarded handsomely.

8. What do they say when the Player Character asks them to stay in camp?  How about when the Player Character asks them to come adventuring again?

A. Staying: "Wonderful, I will be with Scratch and the Owlbear if you need me. If I am no where to be found, call my name and I will find you."

if she's not with the animals, she's back in Avernus tending to Raphael lmao

Joining (space in party): "My flames are yours. Lead the way."

Joining (no space): "Your group is too crowded. My wings need space to stretch, so lose someone already."

9. Does your Tav have any escalating conflicts with one of the other companions, like Lae’zel and Shadowheart’s knife-fight?

A. She would keep to herself and mind her business as long as everyone respected nature. If they want to kill each other, she would silently watch from afar. In my AU she's also paired with Astarion so she'd be in his tent minding her business. (and about him and the previous animal quarrels, she makes sure he only feeds on her or enemies. or the companions, whatever baby wants)

10. Are there any unique NPCs associated with your Tav that can show up during the course of the game?

A. She deeply respects Halsin to no surprise. They have never physically met before, but they have spoken together through his meditations or her telepathy. And through the animal's gossip. She was deeply elated to finally meet him and the grove she heard so much about. Raphael is another obvious one. He would pop in from time to time to check on her and get updates. Her and Haarlep have a fun potential interaction with the PC *wink*

11. Are there any moments in the game that trigger unique dialogue for your character? (Like Gale’s anecdote about the barfight after you save the goblin prisoner) 

A. She would probably have some dialogue in the circus, especially with the caged displacer beast and dinosaur. I also think she would help the party talk down Nessa from the fight with Yurgir and get the eagles to give back the nest without the unnecessary killing. Pretty much anything animal related, she's there.

Story Specific

1. How does your Tav advise the player character when it comes to the Dream Visitor?

A. Much to Raphael's influence she would stress not to trust them and be very wary that they do not have the players best interest at heart. Trust in her and Raphael, they are your saviours.

2. How do they advise the player character on Raphael?

A. During the first interaction in the HoH, she would just sit there watching the player silently grinning, no doubt. Later in Act 3, if the deal is accepted, Raphael offers her to the player to aid them along (and to keep an eye on them. Korrilla needs a break sometimes)

She would sing his praises and urge them to trust in what he says. If the Player fully intends to take his deal, great. She'll play along and help. If the player intends to break into the house and break the contract, she'll be there waiting.

3. How do they react to Astarion biting the Player Character?

A. She keeps a close eye on things to make sure the player doesn't attack him. If the Player is drained and perishes, she'll express her disappointment in the spawn and prompty revive them before Raphael has a chance to know what happened.

4. How do they react to the Player Character letting Abdirak whip them?

A. She would probably keep her distance, since seeing that would potentially bring up some bad memories. But her best friend is an incubus and her lover is Raphael so she's pretty unphased to the sight by now.

5. How do they react to the Player Character taking their first tadpole power?

A. She would be fascinated and would enjoy watching the new powers in action. She would comment on how it must feel to have so many worms crawling around in their brain. (she is not tadpoled)

6. Will they stay with the Player Character regardless of siding with the goblins or the tieflings, or is it possible for them to leave the party permanently?

A. Hmmm she's not recruitable until Act 3, but she is definitely watching them from the beginning, so it would definitely have a big impact.

Siding with the tieflings would obviously be the correct path to get her recruitable. I think if the grove was betrayed, she would throw a Mephistopheles sized fit and most likely talk Raphael into killing them, but since that's not a plausible game choice, it would probably continue how the game is without her. But the later interaction with Haarlep would only result in a fight, as she would be there. (this is touched on in a later question)

7. What can they be found doing at the tiefling/goblin party?

A. Like Korrilla, she would be there keeping an eye on things. She would make sure the animals are tended to and being well taken care of after the battle.

8. Do they have comments on who the Player Character chooses to spend the night with? 

A. this is tricky with Astarion since he wouldn't really be a romance option with my AU. If the Player sought him out, she would definitely be listening in to hear his response.

Lae'zel she would joke not to get too crazy and kill each other

She thinks a night with Gale would be full of magic and an unforgettable experience

A night with Shadowheart would be interesting. She senses a lot is locked behind her facade, many deep conversations would be told one day.

She believes anyone would be lucky to be with a gentleman like Wyll, he's devoted, sweet, not to mention the dancing.

Her and Karlach would have an interesting relationship. Rocky at first, for sure, given Karlach's hatred for the hells and devils. but I think they would be good friends after some conversations. Kate would be happy for Karlach finally having someone to hold and care for her.

9. Do they have unique dialogue if the Player Character lets them die when they steal the Blood of Lathander?

A. No, but I think Raphael would show up and chew the player out which is hilarious

10. How do they react if the PC licks the dead spider in the Gauntlet of Shar?

A. name any creature of the material plane or Baator and she will communicate and be best friends with it, but nearly any bug or insect and she will run away screaming. She is shuttering and judging the PC greatly from afar.

11. What do they say if the PC tries to force them to go up on stage with Dribbles the Clown?

A. She has prior history with circuses so she will have no trouble going up and entertaining! Until they try to kill her, of course.

12. Is it possible for your Tav to be kidnapped and replaced by Orin?  How is Orin's deception revealed?  How do they react to the PC rescuing them in the Temple of Bhaal?

A. I think that would be really interesting to write about, but I don't think Raphael would ever allow that to happen. If for some super off chance it did happen, Orin's deception would most likely be broken by her mannerisms, she's very dog like in how she acts/stands idle, etc. Always tilting her head/ears in directions of noises. Alerts to squirrels/small animals passing. Her ears and nose also wiggle a lot, and her tongue has a mind of its own. She will pant if overheated. The tail is always wagging. I could go on

13. How do they react to the PC either allowing Astarion to ascend or convincing him to spare the 7000 spawn?

A. Again, this interferes with my timeline in the AU. They were alone when facing Cazador. Plus, Stari becomes a full vampire without ascending in mine 👀. based on the game, though, if the PC was there and they had control, she would be relieved to see him stay a spawn and incredibly proud. But would be intimidated/greatly upset to see him ascend and take Cazador's place and would probably leave him.

14. How does Tav react to the PC becoming a mind flayer?  Can they offer to become one themselves?  Does their reaction change if they’re romanced?

A. She wouldn't treat them any differently, appearances change just as hers did when she used the crown for the first time. She would defend them against Raphael's disgust.

She would not offer to become one, as Astarion and Raphael would both probably leave her lmao.

If the PC did enter a romance with her, she would still love them the same and would be open to the joys of the new appendages. But she would greatly miss their old self. Hopefully, Haarlep could help with that.

15. How do they react when the Dark Urge first reveals their amnesia and murderous thoughts to them?

A. She is no stranger to dark thoughts, her mind is her greatest enemy. Her thoughts are not of bloodlust but they always convince her that she is incable of being loved, ugly, not good enough etc. She knows it is not the same as their thoughts so she can't understand how exactly they feel, but she greatly sympathises with them.

16. How do they react to the Dark Urge killing Alfira?

A. She's heartbroken, honestly. She had high hopes and respect for the bard. She is furious at first for the murder, but (depending on the durge) learns to accept that their thoughts were too loud. However, if the durge acts upon their urges with pride, she is less to forgive, and the disapproval would be piling up.

17. If romanced, how do they react to the Dark Urge trying to kill them in Act 2?

A. More similar to Astarion's reaction. Her urge is to help. She'll likely use some magic to restrict their movements until their mind has quietened down. She would remain by their side, gently talking and trying different grounding methods with them.

Romance

1. Is your Tav a romanceable character?  Are there any specific requirements to romancing them?

A. It would probably be a quick fling or just another method for her to use to secure the contract in getting the crown back. Though, the more the player shows respect for nature, the harder she will fall.

2. Does your Tav need to be flirted with to start the romance, or will they approach the PC themselves if approval is high enough?

A. She will not make the first move, no matter how high approval is. She is in relationships already, so she only uses her charm if it's necessary. The PC would have to provoke the first move.

3. Are they a polyamorous or a monogamous option?

A. She is polyamorous

4. Do they have a special romance scene at the tiefling/goblin party?

A. Nope, since she's just there to spy at that moment.

5. Does the romance have different branching paths, or just one route to take?

A. If the romance did get serious, the PC probably has the option to stay in the palace in Baldur's Gate or they could take up residence in the House of Hope in Avernus. Or they could travel to and from like Astarion does.

6. How do they react to the player character breaking up with them, or choosing another character over them?

A. She would be a bit surprised to be broken up with honestly. She always has people flaunting over her, never breaking off from her. She would be curious to the reason why but respect the decision in the end.

The same goes for choosing someone over her. Though, her mind will tell her she wasn't good enough and that she shouldn't be surprised no matter the reason given.

7. What questions can Zethino ask the PC about Tav in the Love Test? 

going all out in this one

Question 1. Out of all the creatures in the realms who were or still are, which are her favourites?

Answer 1 (wrong): oh, that's easy. Humans

Response: Is that supposed to be a joke? Please tell me that is a joke.

Answer 2 (correct): she seemed pretty fond of the hyenas and cattle.

Response: You are quite perceptive. I adore those creatures very much. Though best to adore them separately for safety reasons.

Answer 3 (correct): she favours and cares for all creatures, no matter where they are from. Or how dangerous..

Response: I could not think of a better answer than that. You know me perfectly well, it seems.

Question 2. In the time a battle arises, what position would she take?

Answer 1 (wrong): She hides in the back while we do the hard work.

Response: Hilarious truly, who was it that saved your arse last time again?

Answer 2 (medium): The frontlines, she does most of the fighting for us.

Response: Sweet as that is, it is hardly fair or true. Everyone does their equal part when the time arises.

Answer 3 (correct): If she can't talk the battle down, she plays both offence and defence. Whatever part we need.

Response: You flatterer. It is an honour to fight alongside you when the time comes.

Question 3. Behind all power and authority, there is vulnerability. What does Kate fear most?

Answer 1 (wrong): the day that devil will betray and kill her.

Response: You are projecting, darling. Raphael does not stand a chance against me.

Answer 2 (correct, but disapproves): Seeing an animal get brutally killed would shut her down pretty quick.

Response: Are you serious? Yes..but did you have to be so blunt about it? You have no idea the pictures you just put in my head for the next week.

Answer 3 (correct): Seeing harm come to anyone she holds dear.

Response: That would destroy me. That is why I will protect the ones I love with everything I have until the day I die.

8. If they’re poly, do they have a reaction to the PC engaging in a relationship with Halsin?

A. She is allllll for it. Just please invite her. Please

9. How do they react if the PC has sex with Mizora? The Emperor?  Haarlep?

A. Mizora: she would be disappointed. Are you really choosing another devil over her??? She would joke about it more than anything though, no big deal

Emperor: don't worry, sign a contract with her and she'll keep this a secret from Raphael. Do you really want to sit through that lecture?

Haarlep: oh Haarlep, I've been waiting for this one. It depends on the choices the PC has made. Sooo:

Betrayed grove: sorry, no play time with Haarlep. They are both awaiting your arrival into the boudoir to kill you.

Accepted deal, here to break contract: she is all for indulging, have your fun with Haarlep, she'll even join if you wish. But make no mistake, she will gladly join Raphael when it's time to kill you.

No deal, here to steal hammer: pretty much the same as if you accepted the deal, but with different dialogue as Kate would not have been recruitable this path.

-Bonus- Accepted deal, not here to break contract, just here for a good time: she'll laugh at your ambition, breaking into her home and all. As long as you don't touch anything besides her and Haarlep, she'll gladly keep this little escapade a secret from Raphael. (she has her fingers crossed, though, but you don't know that)

10. Will they join in with the PC and the Drow Twins, or no?

A. Respectfully no. She'll let the PC have their fun with them but she will use the time to get some work done in the Devil's Den.

11. What are Tav’s plans for the future?  Do they propose to the PC, or is marriage not something they’re interested in?

A. If the romance develops into something real and the contract is fulfilled, marriage is totally an option. Raphael might even allow them a room in the House of Hope as they take over the hells.

12. Free space! Share anything from your companion!Tav au!

A. quick summary of my AU timelinethe way my timeline works is that Astarion got tadpoled and escaped from Cazador. but instead of waiting on the beach, he fled and ran as far as he could until he ran into Kate. He just wanted her blood at first but it developed into real feelings which terrified him. After opening up to each other, they set out to Baldur's Gate to confront Cazador. Before that though they knew they had to figure out what Astarion's scars said when -poof- they meet Raphael for the first time. They take care of Yurgir, Raph gives them the answers and they set off to the city. All is well until the devil realises he can't get that annoying mutt off his mind so he follows them and watches their journey as she frees Astarion, he makes his move, bang bong boom now they're all in love. Kate managed to sneak off to Cania with the help of Haarlep to weasel her way in to get Mephistopheles to hand over the crown. what can I say her charisma is like 30 or something lmaooooo

a lot of details were left out but that's the basic basic gist. a lot of its probably not accurate to real dnd lore especially around her relationships with some of the archdevils but it's my world. this was so fun to write, I've never actually written her story like this before

Bonus: might throw in some greetings based on approval 👀

Low Approval Greetings:

"what in the hells do you want."

"to what do I owe the displeasure?"

if she didn't speak, she would just begin to grab her sword and glare until they spoke

Medium Approval Greetings:

"Raphael is over there, please go see him instead"

"speak plainly"

"hm?"

High Approval Greetings:

"oh, hello. Can I help you with something?"

"there you are, yes?"

"come to chat, have you?"

Exceptional Approval Greetings:

"oh, I was hoping I would get to see you today"

"you cleared my clouds away. What can I do?"

"you always make me smile, please speak to me"

Romanced Greetings:

"hello, you. come to me"

"I am most delighted to see your face. Now let me hear your voice"

"say the word, and I am yours, my love"

[myers-meadow]

Got a short and sweet one for ya! BG3 character(s) of your choice reacting to someone going, "Aw, you two look so cute together! You should date!" and Tav—the object of his/her as of yet unspoken affections—just smiles a little bashfully and says, "Yeah, that would be nice."

(Also, I just wanted to let you know that I still leave with a big smile on my face when you talk about your thoughts and feelings about the thingies I send your way. I say this because I realized that one of my last messages might have made it sound like I only enjoy your drabbles and prompt fills—which I also absolutely enjoy as well, it's actually how I found your blog in the first place. I just wanted to make sure you knew that I appreciate your thoughts on my ideas/prompts just as much as I enjoy anything you decide to make with them; it always brightens my day a bit.) 🐾

omg, thats so cute aaaa. This one with Gale!! ✨

he'd be either flustered, or he'd give the most seductive look you've ever seen, and go "you hear that, Tav? well, what about it..." and then drop it until you come to him in the evening, more flustered than usual and bring it up yourself 🥺💞

I swear im not becoming a gale girly pls;;;

Astarion and Halsin are already very flirty and forward, right of the bat, so they would just take it and roll with it immediately, no blush, no pink tint to the ears, nothing hahaha. Astarion knows (or likes to think he is) very, very beautiful, so to him, it would mostly be an affirmation that both him and you are incredibly good-looking. (he actively thinks about how stunning you are btw, like he will look at you and lose his train of thought bc of it)

Raphael would play into it immediately, in order to seduce (and manipulate 🥰) you. "With such a charming creature such as yourself, I can't help but be flattered when hearing that. Don't you agree, my dear?" And he is def pulling you a lil closer <3. Next step is a dinner date by candlelight, because you're just that promising of a future client, and before you know it, you've fallen even more than you ever thought possible.

I love an upfront, not so easily flustered Tav to write, so the wistful "that would be nice" is really cute. Very telling for the dynamic already too, that they don't expect the feelings to be returned, but yet! They can't help but have that hope. 😭

xoxo Meadow

p.s. how did you find my blog? I'm so curious now hahaha 👀💞. Have I even done prompt fills/asks for bg3 before you? Or was it another fandom? (my memory is so bad omg...) I did those lil fics, like three of them, for Halsin and the devils?

p.p.s. I'm so glad to hear that at least these answers are a lil bit of cheer in your day! Thank you for clarifying that, although I hadn't picked up on it myself 😊. I appreciate that you don't have the expectation that each ask will turn into a fic or drabble, bc that is not really possible for me rn, however much I do want to write more. Stay strong throughout all that life throws at you! The game, fandom, and the characters will be there for you whenever you need some time away from real life <3