#also I will stop drawing again for another week
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One (1) Mk
#lego monkie kid#lmk#lmk mk#my art#mk monkie kid#yeah I did this to have a background on whatsapp#I have a new phone I have to use at the moment so I'm trying to personalize some stuff#also I will stop drawing again for another week#it's because I'm going around#doing stuff#BUT I will come back
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Character reference sheets and two frames from the animatic! :3
#work in progress#sketches#my art#a#qsmp chayanne#missasinfonia#qsmp#have drawn this kind of sketchy bits for like... maybe three scenes so far? like most of the frames for three scenes I mean#there's at least 20 scenes with their own moving bits and stuff so that'll be fun#but this is a nice start! and I really like the song and I like looking at my sillies so it's nice to draw too :)#started going crazy a bit after like two hours of drawing so I'm stopping for now and will continue next week again. Hopefully get another-#-- scene properly sketched out then#In other news I completed a small section (like less than a quarter of a page long) of my thesis and oh the feeling of accomplishment!!#it was a daunting part because I didn't know how to write it out but I did it!! Finally!!#and also had some trouble with translating my thoughts to english so I asked my mom for help and we brainstormed it :D#she's a great help with language stuff; both bc she's like generally good at english and also she's not dyslexic like me so that helps :D
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kaiser, I've been low-key worried about you as you crawl your way out of the Covid Hole. How are you doing? Hopefully recovering some energy? Sending you good healing vibes from afar!
Ahh, I hope you don't mind that I answer this one publicly. First of all, aww, that is very sweet, thank you 🥺💖 I'm not gonna lie, I still struggle quite a bit with breathing and concentration, but I'm getting there! (That I'm exhausted all the time is a given, but it's always been like thay.) I'm currently working out to get my lungs back to where they should be, but I'm also currently teaching and studying and working and moving and traveling for work and- *deflates*
I miss drawing a lot and I feel really restless since I stopped. Hopefully I'll come back to it by next month - once S3 is here I'm definitely back in my clown makeup 🙈🤡
#covid really got to me#but moving is also really exhausting#and I'm teaching some uh.. I guess college classes (?) soon that I have yet to prepare for#and a paper to write#I should also hop over to the netherlands by the start of next month for a congress - I did send an abstract in for that one#and another one in six weeks#have I mentioned aaaaaa yet#also moving really sucks the life out of me#very exhausting and much to carry and build and so many ikea trips#but I still have a head like a sieve sadly so it's all a bit unorganized - which is normally not how I handle things#and I'm really :( about not drawing - it always makes me antsy because I feel the longer I stop the harder it is to start again#and I don't want to loose all my drive and just. stop one day#that has happened before and lasted for years ._______.
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If I don’t draw I’m going rot away for real
#I am in a god awful mood again and have a headache and it’s midnight and it’s another exhausting day in an exhausting month#and I want it to be a fast whip smth out in 90 minutes night but it won’t be#but I feel miserable that I haven’t drawn in so long#but really I should go to bed but that’s adding to it#I’m also in a headspace of being very nasty to myself so that is not helping the decision making#and I promise I’ll stop making these fucking posts about wanting to draw at midnight bc who gives a shit#but I spend all day telling myself I’ll draw tonight and then I’m exhausted and without clear ideas#and I don’t even go to bed early I just watch YouTube videos on silent for an hour to stay up#things will be better next month I’m just in the middle of about 5 exceptionally difficult weeks of my life#and things aren’t even that bad they’re just hard.
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Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!
#soundtrack#music#indiegamedev#Youtube#beasties of greenhollow#indiegame#chiptune#elphame#hey again gang. Another scream into the void#Things have been getting more interesting tbh#I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like “if i could go back in time I could fix it”... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao#I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed#we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love#For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha#work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue#I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over#Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha#Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.
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me like four days ago to an old friend who msged me to reconnect: "yeah no i think things are settling down maybe after this last month of actual hell"
today: mother's medical situation has been handed a kablooey and the next few months are going to be Even Harder
#she is getting a biopsy tomorrow. and um. medications are being fucked with to drastic degrees#and we're going to have to wait several months for surgery when she was supposed to originally get it next month#fucking hell i am so incredibly stressed fjjfkdl i dont want this to be happening at all#i am the caregiver who is in charge of making sure she's conscious and okay at all times when dad's not available#i.e. he is at work or sleeping (shift worker)#and then bc of this im also on 911 calling duty if she ever does have smth happen#which isnt entirely out of the question. augh.#its uhm. a rly fucked thing to have to be the caregiver for ur abuser. im not doing very well tbh fjdkdl#this is also why hiatus is happening rn dhdksl things are so incredibly nightmarish rn#idk how im doing as well as i am <- is incredibly out of touch w reality and dissociating to dangerous degrees#idk!! i am frightened and exhausted and i just am begging whatever higher power may exist to let this be over one way or another honestly#get me out or get me gone or do smth to another of the chess pieces in this game so it can all finally stop#i need to go do 1k more words before bed tonight if i want to keep on track w november writign month#but i also desperately am needing to do my nightly drawing+decompressing fbfjdkdl so idk what to do its already 9pm augh augh#luckily i have dbt tomorrow so i will get to See real live ppl again tomorrow#its been a week since i talked to or have seen anyone outside of family face to face fbkfdl#god i am so fucked fjkfdl this is so so so bad and i cannot do anything abt any of it#i rly fucking wish dbt was helpful for ongoing situations but it seems like its only for short term bad times fjfjdldl#im so gjfkdld this is so fucked and i am aaaaaaaaa#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#vent tw
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Lol, this is the obligatory "I'm not dead, I'm just busy with school" post
#hastag school got me again pffff#do I know when I won't be busy anymore?#not for sure but hopefully the pain will stop by next week#in other news I've been having fun doing lots of stuff!#I've been writing and drawing a bunch (I wrote a whole chapter/mini-story thing that was ≈9000 words!!)#I've been reading The Irregular of Magic High School too! (it's a cool light novel <3)#(also did I mention my neopronoun report on here? I think I did somewhere)#but I started back writing on my neopronoun report and I've got two more major sections (not counting the conclusion) before I finish it!!#hehehehehe it makes me happyy#and I've also been listening to a bunch of songs I've already talked about (like Shadow Shadow and Scapegoat#I don't think I've talked about Creative [by Ghost and Pals] or Pierre Janet's Criminal Defense [also by Ghost and Pals]#but I've definitely talked about Lollyland Tour and My Eternity#also I found another vocaloid song but it's a cover where a person sings the lyrics so might not talk about it but it's been super fun too)#so yeahh I've been having a fun time over here :D
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epic win! the prince thats going to rescue you is wearing trainers -- obviously. he cant run away from the dragon in high heels!
#did a life drawing class today with a drag king#took the time to realise i dont know how to draw shoes and that i should for sure learn#aLSO IF THESE ARE BLURRY JUST . IDK MIND UR OWN BUSSINESS IG CAUSE THESE IMAGES??#A STRUGGLE TO GET#was fighting my lil laptop so hard had to move the file to my big laptop#anyway i have gotten. too comfortable with sketching fabric and figure drawings it is time i actually put detail into my art again#but me? me personally? im lazy by nature#maybe one day#maybe another week! maybe!#we'll see! we'll find out ig!#my art#smudgie art#sketches#i hope it is obvious to see where i stopped caring about my art and started to b in pain#cause the chairs i was sitting in?? owwwww my baaaack#aLSO YEAH THAT IS DOJIN IN THE SKETCH#I GOT BORED#AND I DREW DOJIN BUT W THE IDEA OF HIM WEARING A SNOODIE#LIKE- TURNING HIS SCARF INTO A HOODIE. FOR WHEN HE SNEAKS AROUND U KNO
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.
#im so stressed out im so tired ive done nothing and i need to start writing the essays#i have 3 to do plus there are like 6 exams most of which have a lot shit to remember plus im having a psychology short test#and the results of another short test next week and i need to start this economy assignment#and im late almost two weeks with a russian assignment and i want to cry#my meds arent working so im a mess and i stopped taking them bc they give me nightmares but now im having withdrawal and my heart is being#weird and i want to cry i need to kill myself i need to call my doctor#and maybe ask her abt that thing that makes you not have to take all your exams if youre mentally ill#but i feel bad asking for it like its not like im really sick and it feels like im just constantly lying#and she already signed the crap that makes me not have to go to pe thankfully#so i cant go and ask her abt this too like whatever worst case i fail everything and rip my guts out and die#i dont remember when i showered last time and im just so stressed out and i cant do anything productive#i havent been drawing or learning or revising or even doing my reading#speaking of which i have like 300 pages for next week maybe more and i cant take this anymore i need to die#also i think my parents would get mad at me if i said i cant wrote all my exams#bc whatever im not really sick im just lazy and annoying and a bad person and i wish i could get hit by a car so bad i need my head to be#crushed and my brain to get wplattered across the street#also im so gross and sweaty i hate myself sm and i feel so guilty over everything all the time#and them i go to therapy and i cant talk abt anything bc i hate talking abt my feelings its gross and i dont deserve it#i wish there was easy access to guns here suicide would be so easy jesus#and im having insane mood swings again i need to get off social media even tumblr it just makes me feel like shit abt myself#tw suicide mention
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what if i just waited to post stuff until i've got my current three Ideas written
just post em all back to back and then sleep for a week
[ !! venting in the tags !! ]
#haunted ecosystem#haunt's feeling: a lil burnt out! been writing a bunch for literally going on four months stragiht#i mean the state of the world is NOT helping with this fact. plus also uuuuuuh trauma anniversary kicking me in the nuts rn#normally i dont mention that shit but it is def hitting me hard. we stay silly tho i'm just mega tired rn#might just designate myself a two week break again and relax a lil. i've been on a like. kinda drawing kick? i hate drawing though#i really wanna just watch another pov of outsiders and just think abt silly aus. i love coming up with stuff for wtds but ALSO i just. wa.#lotta thoughts. words just arent quite working!#we're approaching the final stretch and so much of this is so specific in my head that i don't wanna mess it up#also like this one stupid comment that wasn't even mean is just eat at me and i wish it wasn't lol#usually the comments are just funny but like. idk. it was a neutral/negative thing and was the first response i heard abt that chapter#which sucks! i love chapter 20! it was half the fucking reason i wanted to write wtds!#i wanted to share what lead up to that :( i wanted to share the story and the everything and just. ugh.#that stupid comment had me rethinking posting it. which. sucks.#rsd hits like bricks when you aren't mentally prepared for negative feedback#uuuuuuuuh#sorry i just. needed to say it#sorry for venting in tags </3#ok yeah my words are just giving up on me im gonna just close my laptop and go do. something#maybe just watch some streams and remake my bed.#that reminds me i really should stop sleeping on the floor. that's more mental energy than i have rn though so.#i guess i'll change the sheets and see how i feel. not being on the floor would probably be a good idea#ok im just gonna#added a warning in the post lol#normally i try and keep my blog light hearted!! i want to keep my blog light hearted but. sometimes its just how it is#i might end up scrapping some of the work i did because i accidentally projected some shit onto pandora that. doesnt fit ig?#it was an accident but it happened anyway#love the lines. not sure they work.#i should finish that one fic that's been rotting in my drafts. c!emduo is something i haven't written in literally a year#project on a character i CAN project on.#anyways i'm gonna post this and just. close tumblr. im tired
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sparkling juice
words: 1.9k
warnings: 18+ only!!!, p in v sex, unprotected sex, virgin!reader, dubcon, drugging/tricking reader into drinking, established relationship, innocent/shy!reader (at least at first wink wink), kinda dark!rafe but really he just wants to bang reader reaaaaal bad
“this is so sweet, rafey.” you coo, your hand held firmly in his.
“anything for you baby.” rafe pulls you along the path, further out into the meadow until you get to a shaded area under a tall tree.
“here is perfect.” rafe says, setting the picnic basket down and draping the large blanket he brought with him.
“thank you.” you tell rafe, pulling him in for a sweet kiss before sitting down.
“i brought all your favorites.” rafe says, taking a spot next to you and opening up the picnic basket.
you let out a little squeak in excitement and seeing all your favorite foods before your brows scrunch together as you point at a bottle. “what's that?”
“that's um… sparkling juice. that's all, baby.” of course, rafe knows that's not all it is, but you don't need to know that yet.
rafe pulls out some food for you to snack on, not hungry himself, happy to watch you nibble on crackers and bite into juicy strawberries.
“wanna try some juice with me baby?”
“mhm, of course rafey.” you watch his large hands as he fills two plastic cups, handing one to you. “drink slow.”
you nod in response before taking a sip, pulling away and sputtering. “ew!”
“oh, baby.” rafe pouts. “do you not like it? im so sorry i thought you would.”
“let me… let me try to drink it again. i think im just not used to the carbonation.” you take another sip, able to control your reaction better. “it's not bad!” rafe can tell you're lying, but he lets out a fake sigh of relief and smiles at you.
“so glad, baby. we can keep drinking while we talk, yeah? tell me about your day.”
rafe knows the easiest way to get you distracted is to have you talk, and so as you describe your day, which leads into your plans for next week, which leads into how much you love rafe, you keep taking sips as rafe refills just your cup.
“i… my head feels kinda fuzzy.” you frown, setting the drink down, realizing your fingers are also slightly numb.
“uh oh.” rafe pouts, drawing his thumb over your cheek. “maybe it's the heat. why don't you lay down?”
“yeah.” you nod, laying back onto the blanket, surprised how plush it is from the soft long grass underneath it. “im-” you let out a sudden giggle. “im like really in love with you, rafey.”
“im really in love with you too, kiddo.” rafe adjusts himself to lay next to you, propped up on his side to keep an eye on your reaction as the alcohol you didn't know you were drinking slowly takes effect. “that's why i planned out this whole picnic for you. and brought you special juice.”
“was there-” you hiccup, words slurring slightly. “anything special in the special juice?”
“hm.” rafe sits up, picking up the now half empty bottle. his eyes widen in fake shock as he reads the label. “oh no baby! i must have grabbed the wrong bottle! i meant to get us sparkling juice but i got us sparkling wine!”
“im… im drunk?” you put together what rafes words mean, mind working slowly.
“im so sorry.” rafe moves to hover over you, cupping your cheek. “will you forgive me?”
“course.” you nod quickly. “was an accident.”
“you're so sweet baby.” rafe brings his lips down on top of yours, kissing you wildly, mouths and tongues a passionate mess.
“should we go get some water to help… get rid of this feeling?” you ask rafe as he shifts to kissing your jaw.
“that's so smart, baby, but i can't drive us home drunk, and you don't have your license.”
you knew how to drive well enough, but in your 20 years of life, never felt the need to actually get your license. your parents drove you around as a kid until you started dating rafe a year ago, and then he drove you around everywhere.
“oh, right.” you nod, letting out a small gasp as rafes kisses move lower, exploring your neck. this is where you usually stop him, pull his head back up to kiss your lips and remind him you want to wait. not necessarily until marriage, but a bit longer, until the time is right.
“we should do something to pass the time, baby. until the alcohol is out of our system.”
“doesn't eating help?” you try to remember what you heard your friends talk about, since you're not a drinker yourself. “we could share the rest of the crackers.”
“i was thinking… we could finally make love.” rafe suggests, pulling back to look in your eyes, watching the way your brain is fighting against the alcohol in your system.
“well, you did take me on this nice picnic…”
“mhm.”
“and we have been dating for over a year now.”
“yes.”
“so… i suppose we could.” you shove down any doubting voices in your head, letting the looseness of your inhibitions guide your actions as you lean forward to kiss rafe again.
“thank you baby.” rafe repeats his words between kisses, his weight shifting to his elbow as his other hand holds your waist, before moving up until it's cupping your breast.
“oh!” you gasp, surprised by how good it feels. rafe smiles, tugging at your dress until the material is below your bra, pushing your breasts up.
“what if someone sees?!” you hiss out. it's not likely someone would come by, but rafe doesn't want to ruin his chance to finally have you.
“okay.” he pulls your dress back up, settling for touching you over the material as he distracts you with soft kisses once again. “ill just push your dress up. that way if anyone comes by you can easily cover yourself up.”
“mhm.” you nod, eyes sliding shut, head fuzzy from the alcohol and now from the pleasure building in your system.
rafe reaches down to pull his cock out of his pants, leaving himself mostly covered as well. he begins to slowly stroke himself, already halfway hard just from the excitement.
“oh!” rafe hadn't even realize your eyes had opened up until your outburst.
“it's okay, baby.” rafe says. he's well aware this is your first time seeing his cock as he waits for you to form a reaction.
“i… i want to feel.” you reach down, cautious hand, still numb at the fingertips as you stroke over rafes length, eyes widening when you realize how hard it truly feels..
“can you… can you not look?” you ask shyly, hand still slowly moving as you speak. “at me.”
“baby, you know i find you beautiful. all of you… but if that's what you want, okay.”
“just… look away for a minute.” you wait for rafes gaze to turn to the meadow, watching the flowers sway in the breeze as he hears you shuffling around on the blanket to take your underwear off.
“okay.” you say.
rafe looks back to you, smile growing as he realizes you're laid back down once again, dress pushed up to your thighs, just enough to hide your privates.
“ill be nice and slow, okay? and you tell me if anything hurts.” rafe moves over you, waiting for you to nod before reaching down with one hand to grab his cock. he keeps your skirt as far down as he can while tucking his dick between your thighs. he moves until he bumps skin, letting out a breath when he realizes you are wet.
he rubs his cock through your folds, watching the way your face twists in pleasure, brows pulling together and mouth dropping open.
you let out a moan when rafe hits what he assumes is your clit. he focuses the head of his cock on it for a moment before sinking lower to your entrance.
rafe manages to keep his word, pushing in slowly. he may have been buttering you up for an entire year just to get in your pants, but now he wants more than just once, you're well and truly his, and he plans on exploring with you until you're transformed from innocent girlfriend into personal slut.
“oh! oh, rafe!” your hands move to grip his shoulders. “that… that feels really good!”
“doesn't hurt at all?” rafe can tell he's stretching you somewhat, but clearly by your rapid shaking of your head no, you're not feeling any pain.
“gonna f-make love to you now then.” he swings his hips back before pushing forward, and soon your moans are filling the meadow, being carried away by the wind as he thrusts into you.
“so, so good, rafey.” you cry out, back arching off the picnic blanket. rafe smiles. your first time, and you're already behaving like this. he's going to turn you into a whore sooner than he thought.
“fu-fudge!” you shout out, making rafe chuckle softly as you use your curse word substitute just like you prefer doing.
“you feel so good round me, baby.” rafe says, bending down to kiss your neck. “love the way you're squeezing me.”
“harder.” you whine out. rafes eyebrows raise, but he doesn't question your demand, pushing his hips faster, slamming into you more. your dress pushed up from all the motion to reveal rafes cock burying itself inside your pussy.
he lets out a moan as you grip onto the blanket, not caring about him being able to see you as you feel a high building inside of you.
“i think im close.” you say.
“cum for me baby. ill cum with you.” rafe says, bringing a hand down to your clit, your moans doubling as he rubs over it with his thumb.
your high hits you suddenly. it takes a perfect thrust from rafe a long with his thumb flicking over your clit and your wall breaks with a scream, hips rising off the checkered fabric as you cum, pussy clenching around rafe as he spills inside of you with a moan of his own.
you both collapse in a heap, faces flushed and chests rising and falling rapidly.
rafe pulls out of you carefully before flopping onto his back.
“that was really good, rafey.” you cuddle into his side, resting your head on his chest.
“thank you for trusting me enough to do that with me, baby.” he presses a kiss to the top of your head.
“of course.” your eyes are on rafes cock, still halfway hard despite just cumming. you reach down, ghosting your fingers along his length before swirling your fingertip over the head then against his slit as rafes hips twitch from the overstimulation.
“do you think we can do that again? and then maybe when we get home? after you're good to drive, of course.” you look up at rafe with what he thought were big, innocent eyes, but he's quickly realizing you've got a different side just below the surface.
-- six months later --
“ugh, rafe!” you groan as he presses buttons on the controller, eyes firmly on the screen.
“promise baby, will be done in five minutes.” he says, barely glancing to you.
you're tired of being ignored as you pull off the only clothing you are wearing, a big t-shirt of rafes to cover yourself. rafe glances over, realizing you're now completely nude as his fingers freeze.
“i want to fuck. if you're not gonna help me, im gonna go help myself.” you shrug.
rafe tosses the controller onto the floor, a proud smile on his face. you've become just who he's always wanted you to be. “of course im gonna help you baby, come get on this dick.”
#i wrote this on my phone so there are probably a lot of mistakes#sorry!#rafe smut#rafe cameron smut#obx smut#outer banks smut#rafe fic#rafe fanfic#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe x you#rafe x y/n#rafe x oc#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x oc#rafe imagine#rafe one shot#rafe blurb#rafe drabble#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron one shot#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron blurb
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Dating Number 4/ Klaus Hargreeves would include☂️👻:
Fem! or GN! Reader TW: Brief mentions of addiction
A/N: I started Umbrella Academy a week ago and I’m obsessed, I’m almost done with season 3 and I can’t wait for season 4. I’d managed to fall in love with Robert Sheehan all over again and all that love has to go somewhere so here it is.
Waking up to little peppered kisses on your back and up your torso. If you don’t open your eyes he’ll just start blowing raspberries into your neck and on your face. Once he hears you laughing he’ll stop and flip you over. He likes being the first thing you see when you wake up. Some days are a little more peaceful and less silly, you wake to see him still asleep. A mess of curls and smudged glitter eyeshadow is the first thing you see. He’s at such peace and the most still you’ll ever see him.
Putting makeup on each other, whether it’s going out or just playing around with new looks it doesn’t matter. Being able to experiment with new colors and combinations with each other is so much fun. On date nights you’ll pick outfits for each other, sometimes even just wearing each other’s clothes. Doing things like this with him leads to doing most things together.
Why have him do things when you can do it for him? Or even with him? He loves having you wash his hair. Showers, baths? Of course we have to both be in there at the same time! Klaus is so touch starved any reason to spend time together he’ll take it,an added bonus is your company keeps the spirits away.
You’re always in close proximity to each other, so your skin is always touching. Klaus just can’t get enough, physical touch becomes his middle name. He’s a natural affectionate person but just having you near is very grounding for him.
He’ll draw on you with little glitter pens he carries in his pocket, he likes to call you his “canvas and his muse.” Even without the pens he’ll trace random shapes and words onto your arm or your back when you both lie in bed. Klaus also likes to play with your fingers when he’s bored.
Kissing!! He’s such a fiend for kissing my god, after that first kiss he’s finished. He always says he wants just one but it ends up escalating to a full on make out sesh. Doesn’t matter if you’re public or not you look too good it’d be a crime not to kiss you. Klaus doesn’t really give a damn about public embarrassment, if you wanted him to he’d run through central park naked, he would.
Once he knows you’re ok with all the random bursts of affection he really piles it on. Neck kisses, shoulder kisses, nose kisses, not one day goes by where he doesn’t kiss you. He kisses like he wants to devour you, if he wasn’t able to kiss you that’d be hell on Earth. If you’re a fan of random kisses at the most inappropriate times he’s a professional. You’re driving, he’s gonna make out with you. Out shopping, kissing! Right now! Doctor’s appointment? Kisses under your jaw in the waiting room, he can’t help it, he's bored.
Helping him get clean, you and Ben have been pretty good influences in his life. Trying to keep him on the straight and narrow for the sake of his health. He wants to be present for you, he wants to be able to remember the things you do together. You help him find fun things to do without getting drugs involved. Taking your time and being patient with him means the world to him. He loves his siblings but they aren’t the best at helping him with it. They do try a little harder when you come around seeing how serious you are about helping him. You stay awake with him when his nightmares get too bad or when the withdrawal is really wearing him down. If it’s the ghosts that are bothering him you just tell them to piss off.(he really appreciates that)
Klaus begins to teach himself new skills to help you out around the house, cooking, cleaning you name it. He doesn’t do it very well but you appreciate the effort anyway. Chores become another activity for you both to do. He’ll even indulge in some of your hobbies just for the fun of it.
Tattoos! He gets something on his wrist that reminds him of you, he can’t wait to show you too. If you get one related to him, god forbid a little number 4 on you he’ll cry. He does eventually tell you about the rest of his journey in Vietnam and Dave. Klaus wants to be sure you know he won’t compare you to him, He’ll always love Dave but he doesn’t love you any less. He’ll get really shy if you kiss his hand tattoos, there aren’t a lot of ways to fluster him so that’s a good one.
Being surrounded by death and destruction most of his life really makes him appreciate what you have. The way you indulge in his antics and impulses makes Klaus feel so seen. You don’t feel real to him sometimes; late at night he’ll just lay his head on your chest and listen to your heart beating.
When some crazy new developments or drama happens in his family you’re first to know. Luther tells him something very personal and secret and 15 mins later he’s calling you on the mansion’s phone.
Luther: “This stays between us Klaus I mean it…” Klaus: “Of course Lulu I wouldn’t dream of telling anyone you’re dirty little secret” A few moments later… Klaus: “Babe you’ll never believe what Luther just told me!”
He’ll always be looking at you, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing you have his full attention. Klaus will just be gazing at you lovingly while five is trying to talk to him, eventually he’ll just ignore him and go to talk to you. You're his favorite person to talk to; he never gets bored with you.
Thanks for reading! Lemme know what you think. Please like or reblog if you like my stuff.
#~⋆。°tales from the dreaming#the umbrella academy x reader#klaus hargreeves#robert sheehan#robert sheehan x reader#tua x reader#tua imagines#the umbrella academy imagine#klaus hargreeves x reader
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shut up, my moms calling // touya todoroki pt two
a/n: req from one of yall who sent in multiple prompts a lil bit ago!!! hi anon i hope u see this <3 also not to be lazy but i'm gonna piggyback this req off of this touya fic of mine as a pt 2 to save myself the contextualizing.. so read that one too lmao.
also i def got ambitious and FAR from the req but i still hope you enjoyed heh..
"Scoot over, Touya, you're taking up the entire bed." You huff, actively elbowing him in the chest.
"You mean my bed?" He whines. "This is why I never want to share the bed with you. You're a blanket AND pillow hog, and I always get shoved all the way to the edge.
"Get your ass on the floor then." You shove him harder, in which he retaliates by grabbing your wrists.
"I always sleep on the fucking floor. Either you deal with sharing a bed, or you take the floor this time."
"So annoying." You mutter under your breath, wriggling out of his grasp and accepting your defeat.
It was nearly 2am and you two had not seen each other all day, which resulted in him being clingier than usual, of course. Touya would never admit it, but you had him all figured out. Quality time may be his top love language, but when that love-tank is low, he immediately defaults to physical touch, making it nearly impossible for you to get away from him if you really wanted to,
After much adjustments, you two silently settled on a position where your face was pressed against his chest, facing each other with your arms wrapped around one another and legs intertwined.
"Can you breathe?" He mutters against your forehead.
"Mmhm." You sigh against his chest in content. "You're so warm and you don't smell like shit for once."
"Stop talking." He hums, letting himself run his hand through your hair, lightly massaging your scalp.
You could melt at this moment. With your fingers drawing circles on his back paired with his own in your hair, you could feel yourself savoring this moment forever, locking it in your memories.
It had been a couple of weeks since you two exchanged your first kisses at the river, and not a single word about it had been uttered about it since. There was no way to bring it up to him again without feeling awkward, but it had plagued your mind everyday- multiple times a day. If you could slap yourself across the face every time you let the memory fluster you, you would. After all, your friendship continued as if nothing happened.
"Did Fuyumi tell you?" You whisper, looking up to meet his eyes.
"Tell me what?" His eyes remain closed.
"That Keigo kid asked me out the other day."
His eyes pop open and meet yours. All motion stops. He snakes his hand from your scalp to grab your shoulder and leans back to get a better view of your face.
"The fuck? Keigo? The other day?"
You nod your head in response.
"Why the hell did you tell Fuyumi before me?" His eyebrows furrow.
"I don't know! Keep your voice down." You hush. "It was a girl thing." You shrug.
"A girl thing..." He rolls his eyes. "And what did you tell him?"
You nervously fiddle with the back of his shirt, piling it in fistfuls.
"I said I would get back to him about it." You nervously chuckle. "Is that bad? It caught me off guard so I didn't know what to say."
He huffs out a chuckle before closing the space between you two again, moving his hand to your lower back and tracing a finger against the skin exposed by your shirt lifting
"Good. Tell him it's a no next time you see him."
"What? But what if it's a yes?"
"It's not. He's an asshole and an idiot." He yawns into your hairline, and rubs his cheek against your forehead.
You pinch the skin on his waist, bringing his attention back to you. "You don't get to decide that for me, dipshit."
"Never in a million years will he fucking deserve you, Y/N. Fuyumi probably told you the same thing." He returns the pinch, pulling back once again.
He was right. She did in fact tell you the same exact thing.
"Sounds like you're just jealous. What, one kiss and all of the sudden you're in love with me?" You tease. "Can't handle seeing me with another guy?"
You didn't know what you were doing, or how those words slipped off your tongue. You bit your cheeks in regret the moment you felt his body stiffen against yours.
"Jealous? As fucking if. I'm just being a good best friend. Do what you want, but if he breaks your heart then don't come back crying to me."
Just like that, he easily averted the mention of your kiss- which of course annoyed you.
"Fine. Let me actually text him right now. Maybe as my bestest friend ever, you can help me draft it." You feel around under your pillow for your phone.
You open your text chain with Keigo, hovering your thumbs over the keyboard. "Alright let's see." You began reading out loud as you type. "Hey Keigo, thought about it, and I think you're really sweet and so sexy and would love to-"
Before you could continue, Touya slaps the phone out of your hand, letting it hit the ground behind him with a harsh thud.
"Touya!" You scold after a loud gasp of shock.
You shove him hard onto his back, swinging a leg over him in order to reach down and attempt to retrieve your phone from the other side of the bed. You couldn't help but feel a bit of satisfaction from this obvious outburst of jealousy. Maybe in some sense, it validated the thread of tension hanging between you two that he had seemingly been ignoring.
"I knew it, you jealous fuckin-" You start before the bedroom door swings open, causing you to duct down under the covers.
"Touya? Y/N? Are you guys okay in there? I heard someth-" Rei begins, stopping the moment she sees the abandoned floor mattress next to the bed and your silhouette straddling Touya.
"Mom!" Touya whines, nearly shoving you off of him to jump out of bed. "Knock next time, please." He huffs as he bends down to pick up your phone, tossing it on the bed next to you.
"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry guys." She covers her mouth in shock.
Rei flips on the light switch and audibly releases a sigh of relief to confirm that you two were indeed still fully clothed.
"Do you guys....have... you know." She begins, stammering over her words. "Are you guys being safe? You know, I don't care what you do as long as you're both safe, okay? Also, please be a little quieter. I know it's a weekend, but everyone is sleeping."
Your eyes widen in horror after grasping onto what she was insinuating. You smash your face into the comforter in embarrassment.
"Rei, I promise you we weren't..." You pop your head up and wave your hands out in denial. "We were just talking and Touya just.." You motion to him. "Tell her, dumbass!" You throw a pillow at him.
"We are not having sex, mom. Y/N's just being stupid." He presses his lips together in a tight line. "But we will use protection if we do. Thanks."
"Oh my god, but we're not going to." You quickly quip in. "I promise we'll keep it down. So sorry for waking you."
You wanted to melt into the floor and disintegrate all together. You shove your face in your hands to hide your humiliation. Your body was hot all over and were suddenly sweating through your pajama shirt.
"Great! Alright then. We'll talk more in the morning." She nervously chuckles. "Goodnight guys, and please keep it down."
The moment the door clicks shut, you turn and slap his shoulder.
"What the fuck?!" You whisper-yell. "But we will use protection if we do? Are you insane? I can never sleep over again, that was so embarrassing." You cry.
"Chill out, it's fine." He laughs, picking up the thrown pillows off of the floor. "Embarrassing yeah, but would you be surprised if I told you that wasn't the first time she tried giving me the talk? About you specifically? At least you don't have to hear that shit."
"About me?!" You exclaim. "Shut the fuck up, no way?"
Touya settles back into bed on his back with his hands behind his head while you sit criss-crossed right next to him, cooling down from the embarrassment.
"Mmhm. Like twice already." He nods his head.
"Does she know that we're not dating or anything?" You cock an eyebrow. "She definitely knows that, right?"
"Well yeah, no shit." He shoots you a sideways glance. "But you don't have to be dating to...do all that."
"What does she say about me?"
"I don't know, of a whole bunch of bullshit I already know?" He begins tapping his fingers on your knee. "Like 'oh, Touya, Y/N's really sweet and we love them, but you have to treat them nice and I know teenage feelings are complicated, but if you really like them and want to ever do anything more, just have really good communication and practice safe sex. Always!"
"Rei has such a way with words." You say through gritted teeth, finally laying down besides him, both now looking up at the glow in the dark stars plastered on the ceiling.
"Yeah, so if you ever wanted to do another 'science experiment,' she got us condoms. It's in the first drawer on the nightstand next to you."
Your jaw drops and you slap a hand over to cover your gaping mouth. The heat returns to your face.
"She did not." You choke out, snapping your head towards him.
"She did." He chuckles. "I told her you literally just got your first kiss and didn't think you would need them anytime soon, but ya know she likes to be careful I guess."
"Wait, you told her we kissed?"
You scooted closer to Touya, now looking at him on your side while he remained on his back looking upwards.
"Mom-senses are kinda scary. When you left the next day, she said we were acting weird and grilled it outta me." He shrugs. "I was honest. Guess that's what triggered this safe sex bullshit."
"God dammit, Touya. So she 100% thinks we're together." You press your lips together.
"You act like that's the worst thing in the world." He shoots you a side glance. You said nothing.
Since that night, you often thought about the possibility of being "more than friends" with Touya, but you couldn't help but shake off the lingering thought that maybe the "science experiment" of a kiss was all that it was for him- nothing but an experiment. You weren't too sure what to do with the possibility that it was something more meaningful for you in that case.
"Anyways, she probably has her own thoughts and opinions, but I told her we're not."
"I see." You mutter. "What are your thoughts and opinions?"
"About... being together? Like that?" He glances over to you.
"Keigo asking me out, the kiss, and your mom thinking we're together and stuff, everything in between."
You watch his face carefully as he takes a second to think about his answers. You see the gears turning in his head, but not quite sure what would come out of his mouth.
"You first." He quickly spits out.
You deadpan. "You know what? Nevermind. Goodnight, dipshit." You turn around, facing away from him and pull the covers up to your chin.
"Okay okay okay, come back. I'll spill my heart out for you if that's what you really wanna hear at 2am right now." You could hear the annoyance in his voice, bringing a smile back to your face.
You cheerily turn back around to see him back on his side, facing you now.
"Perfect. Go on." You say, shoving your leg in between his own.
"So Keigo." He starts.
"Mmhm."
"Annoys the living shit out of me. Genuinely. And I'd hate to see you waste your time on that sorry motherfucker, but if you actually do like him, which I don't see how, do what you want. I come first though, don't forget it. Best friend priorities."
"See, I knew you were jealous." You smile. "I don't think I was considering it anyways, but nice to hear your big boy thoughts about it, you cutiepie."
"That's what I thought. Why the fuck would you need him when you have me?" He smirks.
You roll your eyes. "Okay, now tell me how you feel about your mom thinking we're bonking."
"Idiot." He chuckles. "I don't really give a fuck about what she thinks? We got free condoms- use them, don't use them, take some for Keigo if you ever wanted to do some charity work, I don't care, but she can think what she wants to think."
"What about your thoughts on us being together?" You mutter. "Like hypothetically just to humor her suspicions."
He stops and stares at you for a second, biting his bottom lip as he thinks.
"Uh. Let me get back to you about that one."
You wave it off. "Okay fine, so then the kiss."
"I want you to go first for that, and you can't get mad at me because the kiss was for you... mostly."
You hesitated for a moment, sighing in place of an answer. You weren't quite sure how much, if any, information to reveal about your true feelings about it all. "The kiss... was... definitely a kiss?" You breathe out awkwardly "It was nice. Really nice. And I enjoyed it."
"Okay. Ditto and ditto." He nods, motioning for you to continue.
"And I don't necessarily know what this means, but I think about it a lot. Like. A lot." You emphasize. "I don't know, maybe it means nothing."
"Okay...so you wanna do it again?"
It seemed like your brain short circuited for a moment.
"Hah?" You blink.
"Well, I think about it a lot too. And I also don't really know what that means or how to feel about it, so maybe... we can do it for science again...a 2.0?" You hear the hesitation in his voice.
"Like do it again to confirm our final thoughts?" You furrow your eyebrows.
"Yup."
"I see."
"Only if you want. I don't really care either way. Up to you." He quips. "I just.. am confused."
You roll your eyes. "Don't even try to act so nonchalant when you're the one asking for me to kiss your stupid ass again. You want me so bad." You joke to alleviate the thick fog of tension filling the room.
"Yeah, want you to shut the fuck up." He mutters in an annoyed tone. "Yes or no."
"Yes, fine." You squeak out, tensing when his hand meets your cheek. "I guess it would be good.. for science."
"Okay cool." He huffs. "Relax." He says under his breath, pulling you in closer to him. "We know what we're doing now, don't we?"
You reciprocate his movements, letting your hand rest against the side of his face, swiping your thumb back and forth on the skin under his eye.
"I'm nervous." You whisper, glancing back and forth between his lips and eyes.
The tip of your noses were grazing each other's, and lips just mere inches from meeting.
"Still? Well don't be. It's just me." He lightly rubs his nose against your own, eyes glued on your lips, and occasionally glances back up to meet your eyes. "And we've done this before, remember?"
He stares at you through a beat of silence and drags a thumb across your bottom lip. "Don't freak out."
He closes the gap between you two before you could respond, instantly melting under his touch.
Compared to your first kiss together, this one felt hotter, needier, and more desperate from the way he pulled you even closer to his body by the waist and locked your legs in between his own, as if you were in for the devouring.
You were tense, but feeling his hand tenderly cup your cheek made you feel a bit more secure, letting yourself lean deeper into the kiss.
Chills ran up your spine the moment his other hand met the exposed skin lower back, playing with the hem of your tee shirt.
"Is that okay?" He asks against your lips, letting his fingers start to crawl up under the fabric.
You nod your head in silence as your stomach erupts in flutters and flames, heightening every sensation of him exploring your bare skin.
"This is where you're the most ticklish." He smiles against your lips, moving his hand up the curve of your waist.
"This is where I kicked you on the swing set when we were 13." Rubbing the soft space between your shoulder blades, pecking your lips in between words. "Sorry, by the way."
"I forgive you." Your breath out a laugh before pressing your lips back to his.
"And you have a freckle right here." He grips the space where your spine meets your neck.
"How do you know that?"
"I'm observant."
Your own hand makes its way to the back of his head from his cheek. Your fingers become entangled with the hair on the nape of his neck, lightly twirling a lock between your pointer and thumb. You tug on the silvery locks, gifting you a throaty, hungry groan from him.
You snap back in shock, meeting his own set of wide eyes.
"Okay let's stop there." He coughs, snaking his arm back from under your shirt and turning on his back to dart his eyes away from your own.
You slap a hand over your mouth to muffle your nervous laughter after you ground yourself back to reality.
"Shut up." He sheepishly rubs the back of his neck.
"Sorry. That good, huh?"
"No shit." He huffs, a hint of a smile on his lips. "Anyways, back to the point, horn-dog." He faces you.
You were lucky the only source of light was the haze of moonlight shining through the window on the other side of the room. If there was any more light, you were sure he would be able to see your embarrassingly flushed face.
"Right, the point." You cough. "So... thoughts?"
"You want me to be real with you?"
"Duh."
"I don't know who you've been practicing on for these past couple of weeks, but that was good. So much better than the first time- not saying you did a shit job, but yeah a lot better."
You blush at the half-assed compliment and bring your hand up to his forehead to flick him right between the eyes. "The other thoughts, dumbass. How do you feel?"
"I'm not sure if I want to say...yet." He continues, gauging your reaction.
"What?" You groan. "You said you'd be real with me."
"Well, what do you think I'll say? Or hoping?" He cocks an eyebrow.
That it feels real. That you want me as much as I want you. That this won't change anything between us. That this isn't a science experiment. That you're in love with me.
"I don't know." You shrug. "I guess I just want to know if I could ever be relationship material? Like after the kiss and knowing me, am I hopeless or what?"
"That's why you asked about us hypothetically being together?"
"Uh, yes?" You bit down on your bottom lip.
"Oh." He mumbled, shifting awkwardly.
A beat of silence passes while he thinks for a moment.
"I think that Keigo might be the smartest fucker out there right now. It pains me to see you act like a lovesick puppy for people who don't see how cool and great and how much of a catch you are and I'm sorry that Keigo just so happens to be someone that does." He sighs.
"Actually, scratch that." He continues. "I'm the smartest fucker out there. I've been known how fucking great you are." He laughs. "Yeah fuck Keigo. He's has good taste, but fuck him because I've been doing it first."
You chuckle a bit, your heart swelling at the turn-around of a compliment. "Yeah, but at least he likes me-like me. Enough to ask me out."
Touya goes quiet, lips pressed together in a tight line.
"Well to answer your question fully, I think my mom is onto something."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Like if I could've been better at communication, then we would've been together a long time ago."
"As in..." You start, waiting for him to continue as the air is sucked out of your lungs.
"As in, I like you-like you."
"You like me-like me... as in have feelings for me?" You draw out, staring at him in shock.
He nods in response.
"Since the first time we kissed?"
"Since the first time we met, actually."
Your mouth gapes open with no words coming out, digesting this sudden confession.
"You're fucking with me right now?" You whisper, clutching onto fistfuls of the comforter.
"I wish, but I'm not." He sighs, reaching a finger up to push a stray hair behind your ear. "I wasn't going to say anything, but you're such a dumbass who always talks down on yourself and it makes me sick. You have to know that there is at least one person in this world who would burn everything else down if it was your happiness on the line. I really fucking like you and I'd rather die than let that ruin our friendship, okay?"
In this moment, both of you were holding your own breaths, not quite sure if any sudden movement might burst this moment between you. Touya inherently knew it was time to tell you how he felt and that he couldn't go the rest of his life scaring away potential lovers while being terrified to claim the position himself. You, on the other hand, agreed that if anything did jeopardize your relationship with him, you wouldn't forgive yourself.
"I'm scared. I don't want to ruin our friendship either." You choke out with tears beginning to flood your eyes, causing his own to widen in panic.
"Hey whoa, what are you crying for?" He scoots in closer to you, holding you against his chest. "Seriously Y/N, I tell you I like you, and you start crying? God, just call me a piece of shit already." He chuckles, wrapping his arm around you.
"It's not that." You muffled into his now tear stained shirt. "It's that I like you too and I don't know what to do about it, but I don't want to ruin us or risk anything that will."
He takes a sharp intake of air, and continues to rub circles against your back.
"Well, I'll have you as much as you'll give me. Don't worry about it, okay? I love you- as my closest friend, favorite human being, my other half. All of it."
"What do we do?" You whisper, looking up at him.
"Uhh...sleep and talk about it tomorrow? Sit on it?"
"You think I can fucking sleep now?" You whine. "What's wrong with you?"
"You're cute." He smiles, moving his hand from your back to your cheek, rubbing away the dampness of the tears. "Alright then you tell me, what do we do? The ball is in your court."
"What would it look like if we started dating?" You asked.
"Exactly this? More kissing? Putting those condoms to use?"
You slap his shoulder. "Fucking idiot."
"Okay. Then, what if we don't start dating?" You huff, your face burning now.
"Same thing maybe? Less kissing? Condoms collecting dust?" He shrugs. "I guess I'll keep taking the floor for sleepovers?"
"You're not going to try to go out with anyone else?"
"I'll just wait for you."
You pout at the simple tenderness of his answer. You wanted to stay like this forever- close to him, the warmth of his body radiating into your own, your hands all over each other. You knew that it was possible too. To stay here.
"I think, maybe we can do it." You finalize. "Or try to, at least."
"Really?" He tips your chin upwards to meet his surprised eyes. "You really want to try?"
"I do. I'm scared, and I think you are too so if we put our fears together, we can't fuck this up, right?" You nervously joke. "For the sake of Rei too. Let's prove her right."
He leans down and presses a kiss on your forehead, simultaneously reaching over to your hand and locking his pinky in with yours, solidifying an unspoken promise to one another.
I love you. You're my best friend. You're my other half. We'll always try.
#im sorry i can never write anything casually#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#bnha x reader#mha x reader#mha#touya todoroki x reader#todoroki touya#touya todoroki#dabi#dabixreader#dabi x reader#mha dabi#dabi todoroki
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Rockstar!Eddie x Childhood Best Friend!Reader
Summary: Eddie's got a new girlfriend, which means you get put on the back burner indefinitely. But there's only so much you can take.
WC: 2.1k
Warnings: hurt/no comfort, rockstar!Eddie, takes place around 1989, drinking/tipsiness, Eddie is an idiot, kinda insecure!Reader
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Lena was beautiful.
There was no denying that. You’d seen how beautiful she was the night Eddie had picked her from the crowd, dark makeup and denim miniskirt that ended mid-thigh. She walked backstage like she owned the place, with a confidence you could only envy from afar.
You were used to it: Eddie would find a groupie, they’d hook up for the night, and then she was all but forgotten as Corroded Coffin moved to their next tour destination.
But not Lena. She’d been around for the last six months. Always touching Eddie, kissing him, drawing him in with her gorgeous eyes. She was everything he wanted, and she knew it.
You tried to get along with her and get to know her; after all, she was your best friend’s girlfriend. You asked her to grab a cup of coffee, to hang out at the mall, to get your nails done at the salon. All three times, she’d turned you down with some half-hearted excuse.
And now she was here, at your birthday party. Her legs were draped over Eddie’s as they sat on the couch, his arm around her and her fingers in his hair. All you could focus on was his smile, that same dopey grin he used to give to Chrissy Cunningham whenever she’d give him an iota of attention back in high school.
Eddie Munson was smitten, and he had no intention of hiding his feelings.
You downed your drink, the harsh taste of vodka burning your throat, and quickly poured yourself another one. What was the saying? It’s my party, and I’ll drink myself into a stupor if I want to? Something like that.
“Hey, Birthday Girl. You okay?” Gareth spoke up, yanking you from your thoughts. You hadn’t even realized he was beside you. “I haven’t seen you drink this much since the Grammys afterparty.”
You nodded, your head heavy with tears and liquor and lies. “Fine. Just…tired.”
Gareth scoffed. “Tired of watching Eddie and Lena tonguing each other, you mean?” Your wince betrayed your indifferent facade, and Gareth laughed softly. “Yeah, me, too.” He took a swig of his own drink and continued. “I mean, I get it. She’s hot as hell, but she’s also kinda–”
“Bitchy?” The word escaped you before you could stop it, another effect of the booze.
“You said it, not me.” Gareth raised his cup in a pseudo-toast. “But, yeah. Tour went from being about the band to being the Lena Show. And if you try to push back even a little, she just pouts and whines to Eddie that we’re being mean to her.”
You rolled your eyes. There was a freedom that came with confiding in Gareth, with no longer having to keep your feelings to yourself. “He used to call me at least once a week,” you say of Eddie, “and I figured that would change once he got a girlfriend. But the last time he called me was…two months ago.”
Could you even count that? It was just Eddie saying that the tour was good and that he’d be at your party–with Lena, of course. No silly stories from the road, no play-by-play of the shows, no begging for you to come see them again soon. It was as if you’d been a temporary placeholder until a better option came along.
And now, here she was, leaving red lipstick marks on his cheek. Staking her claim.
Eddie was never yours–not like that. Not in the way you wanted him to be yours. You’d been best friends since high school, and your crush had only blossomed from there. You were drawn to him the moment you saw him command the room during Hellfire, crafting and weaving a tale of a fantastical world with magnificent and terrifying creatures. It was as though you could see it right in front of you.
That storytelling talent extended to his songwriting. Sure, some of the songs were about the heartbreak that comes with being a teenager, but so many others were rooted in big problems: war, poverty, and the general injustices of the world. You were in awe of the way his eyes saw beyond the tiny borders of Hawkins.
Gareth slung an arm around you and pulled you close. Though you’d never told him about your crush on Eddie, he knew. All of Corroded Coffin knew��and probably all of the old Hellfire crew, too. Everyone but Eddie.
“It’ll be okay,” Gareth murmured. “He’s an idiot. He’s always been an idiot, but with her, it’s amped up. Stupidity on steroids.”
You laughed at that despite the sadness brewing within you.
“Go enjoy your party. You deserve it.”
Heeding his advice, you pried yourself from the kitchen counter and over to some of the other guests. You managed to have fun, pushing away the nagging reminder of heartbreak just feet away. It got easier as the night went on—until it didn’t.
“Baby,” you heard Lena whine. “This party sucks. I wanna go back to the hotel.”
Say no, you silently willed Eddie. Tell her that you want to stay. Tell her that she can leave, but you’re going to stick around and—
“Yeah, babe. We can go.”
Five words that anchored a pit in your stomach. He didn’t even consider an alternative option. Lena was his only priority.
You blinked back the tears in your eyes as he said his half-hearted goodbye. Lena stood behind him, arms crossed over her chest.
“Super fun party,” she drawled, donning a saccharine smile. “So sorry we have to leave early.” With that, she grabbed Eddie’s hand and led him out of your apartment.
The rest of the night was a blur. Even as you ate birthday cake and talked with other guests, your focus stayed on the remnants of your friendship with Eddie. Of course dynamics changed when friends got partners. But to be completely iced out? That couldn’t be normal. It shouldn’t be normal.
You decided that night that you were done. The friendship was already beyond repair. It wasn’t Lena’s fault, though it would be much easier to blame her and keep pretending that Eddie was still the same thoughtful guy from Hawkins High. No, Eddie was the problem, and the solution was letting him go.
Weeks went by, then months, with no word from Eddie. The first few days hurt, your heart still convinced that he’d call and apologize for bailing on the rest of your party. A simple ‘I’m sorry’ that might spark a flicker of hope.
It got easier after a while. You filled your days with work and friends. When you heard a Corroded Coffin song on the radio, you simply changed the station without tears falling. And when Entertainment Tonight declared that “a young woman previously linked to Corroded Coffin frontman Eddie Munson was spotting cozying up to a more popular band’s lead singer,” you only chuckled and snapped off the TV.
The first call came a week later when you were at work. Your answering machine button flashed red, and you pressed play to hear the new message.
Hey, um, it’s me.
You froze, your blood icing over in your veins.
I know it’s been a while, but…a lot has happened. And I’ve been thinking, and I really wanna see you. Talk to you. I miss you. Um, the tour just finished, so I’ll be back in Hawkins. Let me know when you’re around.
Absolutely not. There was no way you’d talk to him again, and you finalized that decision by erasing the message.
But two days later, there was another one.
Hey, it’s me again. I was talking to Gareth, and he told me that I royally fucked up. Which I kinda knew, but hearing it from him…yeah.
Anyway, um, I don’t wanna just hang out–I mean, I do, but I wanna apologize first. In person, i-if that’s okay. I think my first message made it sound like, ‘Hey, let’s go grab a drink and bullshit around,’ but I want to say that I’m sorry. Shit, I’m rambling. Okay, I’m gonna go now. Bye.
And then another the day after that.
Okay, so, you don’t wanna meet up in person, and I get that. But I still want you to know how sorry I am, so I’ll just say it here, I guess. I never should have pushed you aside like that. I got caught up in everything with the band and the tour and…and her, and…y’know. That’s not an excuse or anything, just…explaining my series of fuck-ups. I miss you so much, and I wish we could just be friends again. I know it’s not that easy, but…fuck, I fucked this up. I’m really sorry, and you don’t have to forgive me–shit, Wayne’s home. I’ll talk to you later. Or, um, talk to your voicemail, I guess.
Wayne was home. That meant that Eddie was twenty minutes away from you, leaving voicemails from his uncle’s trailer. You grabbed your jacket, willing yourself to stay focused on the road as you drove to Forest Hills. That asshole wanted to talk to you in person, but couldn’t even stammer out a genuine apology over the phone?
You knocked on the trailer door so hard that your knuckles ached by the time Eddie opened it.
“Wha–did you get my messages?” His eyes widened as he took in the sight of you standing before him.
You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. “You mean the ones with your half-assed apologies? Yeah, I got ‘em.”
Eddie took a step back. “No, no, I meant them. I really am sorry.”
“Convenient how you found time to be sorry once your girlfriend started fucking someone else,” you seethed. “Couldn’t squeeze out a minute to call after you ditched me on my birthday, but you’ve got plenty of time to grovel now.”
“That’s not–she wasn’t good for me,” he supplied lamely.
You couldn’t help the snort you let out. “What, did she hold the phone hostage? Did she pick you up and carry you out of my party? You,” you jabbed your forefinger into his chest, “are the reason we don’t talk. Not her.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” You snapped. “Because I have a feeling that you think this is on Lena. And maybe she didn’t help, but she certainly didn’t force you to be a shitty friend.”
Eddie rubbed his palm over his eyes. “I know,” he repeated, the frustration evident in his tone. “I…I was a shitty friend. I never should have left your party early, and I should’ve stayed in touch with you. I should’ve listened to the guys when they warned me that you wouldn’t keep putting up with my bullshit for much longer.”
You felt a spark of reassurance that the other band members had stood up for you, but you kept your attention on what you needed to say. What you needed him to hear.
“And now what? You’re back in Hawkins, no groupies around to keep you company, so you figure it’s a good time to reach out to me?” You stepped closer to him as you spoke. “I’m not your back-up plan when your life comes crashing down. I’m a goddamn person, Eddie! And you just threw me away like our friendship meant nothing to you.”
He was silent for a few moments, his sweat sock-covered foot grinding into the carpet. His hair fell in front of his face, but you could still see him chewing on the inside of his cheek as he considered his next words.
“Gareth told me…he told me that you liked me,” Eddie said softly. “Like…more than just a friend.” With trepidation, he looked into your eyes, tears forming in his own. “And he said I’m an idiot for not seeing what was in front of my face the whole time. A really beautiful woman who has always been there for me. Who never gave up on me, whether I was playing to five drunks at the Hideout or to sold-out stadium crowds.”
“Right. All of the things I’ve done for you. But what have you done for me? How have you been my friend?” You waited for him to respond, but he said nothing. “Exactly. I was just a groupie you never fucked.”
Eddie’s jaw dropped, and you couldn’t help but feel a wave of pride wash over you at his utter shock. “I’m–”
“I know you’re sorry. I got it.” You pivoted on one heel and turned your back to him, starting towards your car. Before you got there, you called out over your shoulder. “And if you leave me another pathetic voicemail, I’ll throw my answering machine through your window.”
Then you drove off, leaving him standing where you left him, just as alone as you’d felt all this time.
--
#eddie munson#eddie x reader#eddie stranger things#eddie x you#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x f!reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson fanfic#stranger things fanfic#fanfic#eddie munson stranger things#stranger things#angst#hurt/no comfort
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there’s something beautiful and tragic in the fall out
here’s more babygirl. alternate version and commentary UTC (not really a process discussion more like. wailing.)
i’ve never been so indecisive on a piece in my life !!!! i redid the rendering once and this strayed so far from what i originally wanted for the sketch. idk how i feel about it actually. i might come back and redo it someday cause this isn’t what i wanted to do but im so sick of this drawing lmao i don’t wanna spend another 10 hours figuring it out again. i got finals to study for 👎
i was trying to combine my painterly art style with the more graphic style of my last drawing cause i thought it’d be cool. i was also looking at some of the art from reverse: 1999 but that didn’t really carry through in the final piece. i really wanted to do more painting ☹️ but whatever ive drawn so much in the last 2 weeks i need to stop lmao
this is the sample i made after i restarted the rendering. i like how this looks a lot more but i think a big problem was how i rushed the second lighting source (blue) so it wasn’t executed very well. the finished piece is just way too clean for what i imagined but i mean its still cool!
i could not figure out how to do the weird magic soul taking thing for the LIFE OF ME. i spent 20 minutes just redrawing it 😔
ok that’s all. i need to go will myself into studying now. o7
#another fucking panic lyric caption from me. what’s new.#he’s sooo twtltrtd to me. please agree. 🙂#my art#fanart#digital art#a date with death#a date with death visual novel#casper a date with death#two and a half studios#artists on tumblr#artists of tumblr
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The note shows up in Eddie's mailbox cubby on Valentine's Day.
It's nothing fancy, loopy cursive handwriting on lined paper:
"I know this is probably silly but I can't go another day without saying it, and today seems appropriate for this kind of confession. Seeing you in the morning is the best part of my day. You're so gorgeous it leaves me breathless. I hope you don't mind if I don't leave my name. Just wanted you to know that you're beautiful."
His eyes fill with tears that he blinks back, a goofy smile stretching his mouth wide.
"You good there, Munson?" Robin Buckley asks.
"Oh, yup, yeah, all good." He laughs. "Just got one of those 'you're my favorite teacher Mr. Munson!' notes."
He squeezes the letter to his chest before slipping it in his pocket.
---
The worst thing about Eddie's new job is that someway, somehow, Steve-fucking-Harrington works here too. PE teacher, JV basketball coach, of-fucking-course. Once a douchebag jock, always a douchebag jock. What makes it all worse is that he's still the prettiest guy Eddie's ever seen.
---
The first week of March, there's a commotion in the hallway that has him rushing out of his room, ready to breakup a fight. He finds Harrington already there, holding Dustin Henderson and Will Byers by their shoulders. Troy Walsh and James Dante stand across from them, wearing matching snarls.
Of course Harrington is picking on little nerd kids; he knew it. But before he steps forwards to break it up, Steve speaks, voice low and angry. "You want to tell me what happened here, Troy?"
"Byers tripped. He really should watch where he's going," Troy says. James laughs.
Steve's glare goes even more icy, more disdainful (it's so fucking hot, Eddie hates it). "You want to take that again? And try being honest this time, or you're suspend from the team."
Troy splutters for long enough that Eddie finally notices Will's stricken face, the sketchpad and snapped colored pencils littering the linoleum.
"I saw you take those things from Will, and unfortunately, I'll have to call your parents and you will be responsible for purchasing a new sketchbook and pencils. You're also benched for the next four games."
The boys shout, but when Steve raises a hand they quiet immediately. "You want to complain more, or do you want it to be five games?"
"No, sir," they answer before scampering off.
Harrington faces Dustin and Will. "You boys okay?" he asks them.
"We're good, Mr. H," Dustin answers.
"Glad to hear it." Steve begins collecting Will's ruined belongings, stops to study one of the drawings.
"This is really good, Will."
Will flushes. "Thanks. It's my character for dnd,"
"Dnd? That's that game that El and Max are always talking about? With the character sheets and the dice?"
"Yeah!" says Dustin. "You know it?"
Steve's smile is a little bashful, and it tugs at Eddie's heart in a way he has to ignore. "Not much. Just from what the girls have said. You want to tell me about it?"
"Really?" Their eyes light up.
"Really. You can stop by the gym during lunch. Only if you want to, though."
"Cool," says Dustin.
He pats them both on the shoulder, and they hurry away, leaving Steve and Eddie suddenly alone.
Eddie should head back to his class, hasn't been needed in this situation at all, really, but before he can disappear, Steve spots him and his eyes widen.
"You need something, Munson?" Steve's cheeks go a faint pink.
He shakes his head, feels wrong-footed. "Uh, that was really cool what you did just there."
"They're really good kids," Steve says. "I know them a little. Used to babysit El Hopper." He slides his hands into the pockets of his khakis and, seriously, fuck Harrington for looking like that in a pair of Dockers.
"Babysitter, Harrington? Never thought I'd see the day. Or that you'd be the one defending a bunch of nerds," Eddie says. He means it teasing, but Steve's face warps into a frown.
"Y--yeah, I guess. I mean. I'm trying not to be that guy anymore, and Robin's really helped--"
"Shit, man, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant, at all--"
"--I feel terrible about all that shit I pulled back in school. That King Steve stuff? I was awful and you didn't deserve--"
"Steve!" Eddie cuts him off. "I forgive you. For everything." He looks down at his shoes. "For all I didn't want to believe it, you really have changed."
They're both pink faced now, avoiding each other's eyes. "Thanks," Steve says. "I should get going, but--for the future-- I really wouldn't mind--um--trying to be friends."
The grin that passes across Eddie's face is huge. "Yeah, Harrington, I'd like that."
Eddie has to run to make it to his classroom on time. He passes Dustin and Will and the rest of their gaggle of friends, rushing them along, but forgets all about it as he steps in front of his third period juniors.
---
He and Steve are...friendly now. They chat, they joke, they share smiles that have Eddie's heart beating too fast even though it's not like that. Turns out Steve is kind and funny (a little bit of a bitch too, but in a way that ties Eddie's stomach in knots), and a hell of a teacher.
---
His freshman are in small groups, peer-reviewing an essays, when Max Mayfield catches his eye. She's one of his favorite students and absolute trouble.
"What's up, Mayfield." He asks.
"Are you friends with Mr. Harrington?" She asks.
He chuckles. "Sure, Max, we're friendly enough. Why?"
She narrows her eyes, like she knows he's not being totally honest. "Oh, nothing. He just talks about you all the time."
He's blushing horribly and Max, and all of her friends, smirk up at him. "He does?" He chokes out.
"Mmhmm," Lucas Sinclair says. "Says he thinks you're really cool."
"Definitely one of the best teachers here," Mike Wheeler adds.
Eddie rolls his eyes. "Okay, very funny, guys. How're your essays going?"
They answer, but before Eddie goes to help another group, Will says, "he really does like you, Mr. Munson. A lot."
El nods earnestly up at him. "It is true," she says. "I know him."
"Thanks, kids. I'll keep that in mind." He gives them a smile, tries not to let their words get to him. When he reaches the next group, though, he notices his hands are shaking.
---
Gifts start turning up in Eddie's cubby. It starts with a bag of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies from his favorite bakery. There's a small note that says "from your secret admirer," on the packaging. Every two weeks or so, something new shows up in his little mailbox; a woven friendship bracelet, a yellow rose, Hershey kisses, a delicately painted dnd figure that gives Eddie a small crisis because it's his own bard character, an Iron Maiden cassette, a bag of dice that almost brings him to genuine tears.
Eventually, he gets another note. This one is typed and reads: "I would love to have coffee with you 11am this Saturday at the Cafe on Main Street."
---
He walks into the cafe at 10:50am, wearing his favorite pair of ripped black jeans and a burgundy button-down, his hair pulled into a loose bun. He doesn't recognize anyone there.
Eddie gets in line, studies the menu, and the little bell above the door rings. He whips towards the sound to find none other than Steve Harrington in little wire rim glasses, a butter colored sweater, and jeans the man must have painted on, Jesus Christ. Honestly, the whole thing is enough to give Eddie a coronary (and to, embarrassingly, chub up in his own tight jeans).
"Steve?" He asks. He's overwhelmed with the (stupid, stupid) hope that it's been Harrington all along. "What are you doing here?"
"Henderson asked me to meet him. He around?"
"Uh, no?" Eddie feels heat creeping up his throat.
Steve shakes his head, as though he expected as much. "You alone? We could grab drink."
"I can't believe this." Eddie hides his face in his hands, knows it's gone horrifyingly crimson.
"What's wrong?"
"My secret admirer told me to be here now, so we could meet," Eddie's misery slices through his words. "I'm such an idiot."
"I--your--what?" Steve stammers.
He gathers himself enough to look Steve in his hazel eyes and ask, "I'm assuming it wasn't you leaving notes and gifts for me at work?"
And he expects Steve to say no. To laugh and ask why he'd ever do something like that, but instead, instead he flushes a deep red. "O-only one note."
"What?"
"I, uh," Steve clears his throat. "I left you a note. On Valentine's Day. I--we weren't friends yet, and I wanted you to know how much I liked you. It's --uh--it's pretty silly, huh? Robin's--"
"Steve," Eddie interrupts. He's going to tell Steve that he reads the note often enough that he has parts memorized; that it's the kindest thing anyone has done for him, but what he says instead is, "Dustin Henderson told you to meet him here at 11?"
"Yeah. Said he had something to show me."
Eddie remembers running into Will and Dustin and their friends that day in the hall, the weird conversation in class, the dice and the miniature. Something must click for Steve at the same time because his mouth drops, blush getting somehow deeper.
"Oh my god. Henderson! I'm gonna kill him. They figured out I had a crush on you."
"They WHAT?" Eddie says, loud enough that several looks are aimed their way.
"I'm so, so sorry, Eddie. Holy shit, this is so humiliating. You have to believe me, I had no idea they were doing this. God, I'm really starting to think it is possible to die from embarrassment."
"You have a crush on me," Eddie says instead of any of the dozens of helpful things he could say.
"Um. Yes?"
Eddie takes a deep breath, straightens his spine, and asks, "You wanna have coffee with me?"
"I'd really like that." Steve's return smile is so beautiful, it makes Eddie weak.
---
Eddie Munson is making out with Steve Harrington in the backseat of Steve's BMW. He and Steve spent the day together. They've kissed for so long that the sun has set, both of their lips are swollen, their skin red from stubble, and Eddie is nowhere near ready for the night to end.
Steve breaks away, gently pulling their mouths apart, but arms still tight around Eddie. "Hey, what kind of gifts were they giving you anyway? The kids?"
"Oh," Eddie blushes. "Uh, cookies, a dnd mini, lots of candy, a set of dice."
"Oh my god," Steve says, he pulls a little more away. "Oh my god, I'm going to kill her, Jesus Christ."
"Who are are you killing, sweetheart?"
Steve groans. "Robin. She was helping them. We found a set of dice at this little bookstore and she told me to get them for you, and--" he breaks off with a helpless, frustrated noise.
Eddie doesn't mean to, but he starts to giggle.
"It's not funny!" Steve says.
That only makes Eddie laugh harder. "Your best friend," he squeaks. "And a group of literal children set us up. That's hilarious, Harrington."
Steve's mouth drops and for a second Eddie thinks he'll be upset, but then he's giggling too, his whole face crumpling into it.
Steve pulls Eddie close once the laughter subsides, his eyes trained on Eddie's lips.
"We could pretend we didn't get together," Eddie manages to say.
"What, like, make them think they failed?"
"Yeah. We could tell them I got stood up, but you and I hung out. Had a bro day."
Steve giggles again, and it's the best sound Eddie's ever heard. "I'm absolutely on board with this plan, but you should definitely kiss me some more."
"Oh, yeah?" Eddie asks, his voice low. "And what'll I get out of it?"
"Why don't you get over here and see."
As if Eddie could turn down an invite that enticing. He slides a hand behind Steve's head, drawing him in, and they're kissing like they never stopped. It only been a few hours, but Eddie knows--without a doubt--he's already head over heels.
#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#ficlet#oneshot#fluff#mutual pining#matchmaking#secret admirers#pe teacher steve harrington#english teacher eddie munson#kinda doing a parent trap thing#in which robin and the party parent trap eddie and steve#it's also the part of clueless where they do matchmaking with the teachers#first date#the party#robin buckley#platonic soulmates#rough winds do shake the darling buds of may but thy eternal summer shall not fade#phat did you write that
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