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#but really I should go to bed but that’s adding to it
imaginaryf1shots · 12 hours
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Starved | Max Verstappen
WC: 1.9K
Max x gf!reader
Summery: Max is touch starved and your love language is physical touch.
Warning: Jos and Christain horner, ilusion to a tough childhood
AN: I just saw a ticktok and I had to write this.
Masterlist
Max Masterlist
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Max never knew how good physical touch is as a love language, he didn't grow up with hugs and gentle touches, none of his past girlfriends were overly touchy with him. That all changed when you came into his life. You grew up smothered in love and affection, and it's how you function, how you show your love. 
Max remembers the moment he realised you're not like his other girlfriends in that aspect.
It was after your first date, and you were having a walk around, neither of you wanting the night to end. Max was telling you a story about something that happened that week, your hands brushing, and he kept thinking if he should take your hand or not. You didn't leave him with a choice.
“-and he ran straight at me, bit I saw him-” Max stops talking when he feels your hand move around his and you lace your fingers through his, he looks at you, and you just smile up at him, leaning closer to his side. Max couldn't help but smile just as bright as yours. “So I dodged and he still bled and fell down, everyone was…”
He kept on talking, you were listening attentively, adding things when needed, and squeezing his hand when you wanted him to look at you. 
Max felt like holding hands with you is the best thing ever. 
But boy was he wrong, because every new tech became his favourite. 
Max never knew he was the cuddling type, until you wrapped yourself around him.
“Oh god.” You whined as Max flipped himself onto the bed beside you, the room filled with your heavy breathing. “That was…”
“Amazing.” Max finishes for you, he turns his head to look at you, even the Formula 1 driver is out of breath but he's smiling nonetheless. You grin at him and turn around placing your head on his shoulder and your arm on his stomach. Max freezes for a second, you press your lips to his skin in a few pecks, making him relax instantly. Max moves you a bit so you're closer with his arms around you. You're both naked with your kin touching his everywhere. You can hear his heart beating fast in his chest and try to not show him your smile. You know why he is the way he is. Without him having to tell you, you picked up on his reactions whenever you touch him affectionately. 
“You don't want to shower, or get dressed?” Max asked you after a moment of silence.
“In a bit, I just want to hold you for a few minutes.” You mumble feeling overly relaxed. Max kisses the top of your head, and lets you hold him while he holds you as long as you want.
Max always thought it's his job as the man in the relationship to have his hand on you in public, show his dominance and all that nonsense. And as much as he just likes having his hands on you, he loves you having your hands all over him. Makes him feel wanted, loved and needed. 
Max is driving you both to a new restaurant that you wanted to try. One hand on the wheel the other on the gear stick. You were looking out the window when you suddenly got the feeling that you want Max closer, want to touch him. So you just move your hand to his thigh.
“Schatje.” Max says and you hum, turning to look at him. “What are you doing?” 
“Just suddenly wanted to be closer to you.” You tell him with a smile.
“I'm right here.” Max glances at you.
“Not close enough.” You say and stay silent for a moment. “Do you not like it?”
You start to move your hand when he stops you with the hand on the gear stick. “I didn't say that, you can touch me whenever you want.”
There are many pictures of you and Max in the paddock or out and about, but more in the paddock. They're all of you lacing your hands with Max, hugging his arms, someone commented once how you're always the first to touch Max, but he never lets go of you. So, to those that tried to hate on you and call you clingy, could never really find anything to hate you for. It’s clear that you’re the instigator but Max’s smile is always undeniable.
“Max, what do you love most about y/n?” Max was signing hats on his way into the paddock, when a fan suddenly asked.
“Her hugs.” The crowd all awed, Max didn’t even realise what he said, it just came out naturally, he loves everything about you, but if there’s one thing that he misses the most and looks forward to when he’s away, it’s your hugs. They feel like home, as cheesy as that may seem.
And hugging you do. You take every chance to pull Max in for hugs.
You’d be eating with the other WAGs or maybe Victoria, and Max would be walking through the paddock and seeing you, he’d walk up to you, and you’d stop everything and give the man a hug as if you didn’t see each other yet that day.
“How’s your day so far?” You ask him, still in his arms.
“Good, how’s yours?”
“Good.” You’d be the first to let go, knowing that if you don’t he’ll never let you go. As much as you want to stay in his arms, he had work to do.
Max would be away on a triple header out of Europe, and you wouldn’t be able to join him for the first race, but no one is surprised when Air Max flies back to Europe and then to the race destination and there’s pictures of you exiting. Max will be damned before he sees you flying in anything but his plane, only the best for you.
You’d get there later than expected, so Max is already on track. His team meets you to give you your passes and get you in. They lead you to where Max is, he’s having a moment break before he has to go to a Red Bull club event thingy in the Red Bull hospitality. Max is on his phone with a Red Bull in his other hand, he looks up when he hears you walk in, he doesn’t see his smiling team behind you, once you’re here everything else ceases to exist.
Max just folds himself around you, he never cares who’s around. Your hand runs up and down his back. Your head in the crook of his shoulder, breathing him in. 
“Hey, my love.” You greet him and kiss his neck softly.
“I missed you schatje.” Max responds to your words and you smile.
“Missed you too, like crazy.” You stand there for a few minutes, everyone knows to just let you have your moments, a much calmer Max is always there thanks to your presence.
There’s a hug that all the fans remember, it went down in the history book for being loving and sad at the same time.
Max has been having a bad time this season, struggling with the car, and not winning, even though he’s leading the points, it’s a very close call. And after 2021 he never hoped to go through such a tough battle again.
Alas here he is, doing the best he could with what he has. Max and Jos have been butting heads lately, mainly because Jos thinks that Max should leave Red Bull and go to Mercedes, while Max wants to stay with Red Bull. The dynamic between the two has always had its highs and lows, and they’re going through a tough low now. So, when Max finally won a race and thus winning the championship, after struggling the majority of the season, and he saw his dad standing in the crowd he was happy. But Jos being the a-hole he is, he wasn’t happy. He didn’t want this race to give Max hope for any future with the team.
Max noticed the look on his father’s face when he was just about to go and hug him, he knew that look, he knew what it meant. And it upsets Max to see it when he’s just won and should be celebrating.
“MAX!” You shout and gain his attention, you’re behind the barrier. Everyone in the team knew what was going on between Max and Jos, and they knew how much having your support no matter what meant for him. So they did not hesitate to raise you over the barrier, you squeal in surprise. The moment your feet touch the ground, Max’s arms are around you, his helmet still on and everything. It’s a much needed hug, it wasn’t you who wrapped your arms around him, it wasn't you that instigated this, this was all Max, he needed this. He’s clutching you, having you flush against him, letting himself feel your presence.
Once he has his arms around you, he's clutching you, holding you close. Your arms wrap tightly around him, the force of the hug, has you staggering slightly back, Max's legs move with yours, until you're stable. 
“Congratulations, my love.” You say, and Max can barely hear you over the noise surrounding the both of you. “I'm so proud of you Max, so incredibly and completely proud of you.”
Max holds you tighter and if it becomes painful he doesn't say. The hug seems to last forever, and everyone just lets you have this moment. You're barely visible from Max's back. Your hand moves over his back slightly trying to give him all the love and comfort he needed. 
“I love you.” The words come out choked up, but you hear them and it breaks you. You force yourself out of his arms and meet his eyes through the slightly opened visor. His eyes are slightly wet. Max doesn't cry, his life was too tough for him to find a reason big enough to cry.
“I love you too Max, more than anything, more than anyone.” You tell him earnestly and full heartedly. 
“Fucking hell, I'll marry you one day.” Max says and his eyes crinkle slightly as he smiles. 
“Well go get your trophy first before we see about the whole marriage thing.” You patt him and Max then goes to his team, they're all shouting and cheering for him.
“You're good for him.” You look to see Christian now standing next to you.
“He's good for me.” You reply and watch your boyfriend with loving eyes.
“I have a feeling that by next season you'll have a ring on your finger.” Christsin whispers in your ear, and he slinks away, you can't help the smile on your face.
You watch as the top 3 do their interviews, Max's face is flushed red, hair messy, and his eyes are a bit misty. Your eyes well up seeing him, Max catches your eyes as he's finishing his interview, the smile on his face widens, he’s looking to the side when the interview ends. And Max races back towards you, your eyes go wide, not expecting him to come back to you. Max pulls you closer and crashes his lips against yours, before you could even place your hands on him, he pulls away, smiles and runs off to the cool down room.
“I take it back, give it a couple of weeks.” Christian amused says, the cameras flashing around you catch your insanely blushing face.
Christian was right, because arriving at the last race of the season, there’s a big rock on your finger.
Main Taglist: @gnatthefly . @mochimommy2002 . @llando4norris . @mrswolffs-blog . @barcelonaloverf1life . @c-losur3 . @xoscar03 . @schniti-is-in-the-house . @lottalove4evelyn . @eywas-heir . @glow-ish . @lilypat .
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kckt88 · 1 day
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A Heartbeat Between Us VIII
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Summary:
As things start to improve between Y.N and Aemond, Alys reveals her true intentions, and as Y.N turns to Aegon for support the brothers come to blows.
Warning(s): Angst, Drama, Fluff, Tension, Swearing, Idiocy, Miscommunication, Misunderstanding, Jealousy, Violence, Fighting,
AEMOND x Y.N
Word Count: 7770
A.N - Most of the story is already written, as I start a new job on Saturday :-)
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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.
Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated, do not copy/post to other sights without my permission.
Tag List - @jasminecosmic99 @kaelatargaryen @yesterdayfeelings-blog @immyowndefender @0eessirk8 @killua2dot0 @msassenach @xcharlottemikaelsonx @moonnicole @toodlesxcuddles @mamawiggers1980 @minttea07 @nommingonfood
Aemond woke with a start, his arm stretching across the bed to where Y.N. should have been, but the space beside him was cold and empty.
A sinking feeling gripped him as he sat up, glancing around the room in confusion. Throwing on his discarded clothes from the night before, he hurried down the hallway to Jack’s room. The sight of the empty cot made his heart race, panic flooding his chest.
“Y.N.?” he called out, but there was no answer.
Aemond tried to remain calm, his fingers fumbling for his phone. He rang her, but it went straight to voicemail. He tried again and again, the same result. Frustration and fear mounted with each passing second.
He paced the living room, running through his contacts, ringing Helaena, Daeron, and even Aegon, asking if they had seen her or heard from her. The answer was always the same: no.
His chest tightened. Had she really left him? After last night? Aemond’s gaze darted around the penthouse, and he realized that her things were still there.
The suitcase she had packed in a fury the night before was still there, laying where it had fallen on the floor during their vigorous sex session.
Relief washed over him, but it was quickly replaced by confusion. If she hadn’t left, where was she?
Just as he contemplated going out to search for her, the sound of the door opening made him freeze. Y.N. stepped inside, pushing Jack’s pram.
Aemond rushed to her, wrapping his arms around her without a second thought.
"Where were you?" he asked, his voice thick with emotion as he unbuckled Jack from the pram and lifted him into his arms, holding him close. "I was worried."
Y.N. gave him a small, tired smile. "I went to the doctor," she said, her tone matter of fact. "Since we didn’t take any precautions last night, I needed to get the morning-after pill."
Aemond’s breath hitched. "Oh," he said softly, watching as Y.N. reached into her bag and pulled out a small box.
She read the instructions on the back, popped out the pill, and swallowed it with a glass of water.
"I also decided that I’m going to start taking the contraceptive pill," she added. "Just to be safe."
Aemond nodded slowly, his gaze following her movements. He put Jack down on his play mat, the soft jingling of toys filling the room. He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts.
“About last night-” he started, his voice hesitant. “-I don’t know what came over me. If I was too rough—if I hurt you—”
Y.N. shook her head, cutting him off. "Don’t apologize," she said softly. “I liked it.”
Her words stirred something inside him, but Aemond knew there was more to say, more to confront. He couldn’t keep avoiding it. Turning to face her fully, he took a deep breath.
“We need to talk,” he said, his voice steady but serious. "About us."
Y.N. finished her water and leaned against the counter, arms folded across her chest. She nodded, her expression unreadable. Aemond took a step closer.
“For a start,” he continued, “-There is no us. But don’t you think there should be?”
Y.N. hesitated for a moment, chewing her lip as she considered his words. "I guess things weren’t working out the way they were."
“No, they weren’t,” Aemond agreed. “But we already have a child. We live together, we have sex and we love each other Why can’t we explore a relationship? Properly.”
Y.N. raised an eyebrow, her voice tinged with scepticism. "What about Alys?"
Aemond sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I swear, there’s nothing there with her. Not anymore. I know I shouldn’t have let her in, but I feel like I owe her-for the way things ended."
Y.N. narrowed her eyes, clearly still not convinced. "I don’t trust her, Aemond. Not one bit."
“I know you don’t like her,” he replied. “But I promise, it’s just business. There’s nothing else between us.”
Y.N. looked at him, her gaze searching his face for the truth. “Is this really what you want?” she asked quietly. “To be with me?”
Aemond stepped forward, his eye never leaving hers. “It is. I’ve been a fool to wait this long to ask you.”
She chuckled lightly, some of the tension easing between them. "Why did you wait?" she teased, a hint of a smile playing on her lips.
Aemond smirked, rolling his eye. "Fear, mostly. Fear that you didn’t feel the same way. Fear of ruining what we had."
Y.N. let out a soft laugh. “If you really mean it-I want you to ask me properly.”
Aemond’s smirk widened, and he crossed his arms. “So, regularly sticking you with my cock isn’t asking properly?”
She laughed again, shaking her head. "No, it’s not the same thing."
He let out a deep breath, taking her hand in his. “Y.N.,” he said, his voice soft but sure. “Will you be my girlfriend?”
Y.N. smiled, a bright, genuine smile that lit up her whole face. “Yes,” she said, her voice filled with warmth. “I will be your girlfriend.”
Aemond grinned, his heart swelling with joy as he leaned in and kissed her, softly at first, then with more passion.
When they finally pulled apart, Y.N. excused herself to the bathroom, leaving Aemond standing there, his mind racing with relief and happiness.
Finally, she was his.
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Aemond sat with Aegon and Daeron at their usual table in the club, the neon lights casting a soft glow over them.
The atmosphere was buzzing, and as they ordered their drinks, Daeron’s eyes zeroed in on the mark on Aemond's neck. He sniggered, pointing at it with a raised eyebrow.
"Who's responsible for that?" Daeron asked, barely hiding his smirk.
Aegon snorted, taking a sip of his beer. "Alys?"
Aemond glared at him. "Absolutely not. It was my girlfriend."
Aegon’s laugh echoed over the thumping music. “So, you finally grew some balls and asked Y.N. out?”
Aemond scowled at him but didn’t deny it, which only made Aegon laugh harder.
Daeron shook his head in amusement. “About time. By the way, did you ever find out where she went the other day? You were freaking out."
Aemond sighed, swirling his whiskey. "She went to the doctor. Got the morning-after pill."
Aegon rolled his eyes dramatically. "Seriously, do you have some kind of aversion to condoms or what?"
"My mind was on other things at the time,” Aemond muttered defensively, taking a long drink. “But she’s on the pill now.”
Daeron chuckled. “At least she’s taking responsibility.”
Aemond hummed in agreement before dropping a bombshell. “Alys stopped by the penthouse.”
Aegon nearly choked on his beer, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “You what? You let her in? Are you an idiot?”
Daeron looked equally stunned. “What were you thinking?”
“I-feel like I owe her,” Aemond admitted, though his voice lacked conviction.
“For what?” Aegon demanded.
Aemond leaned back in his chair, exhaling slowly “-For cheating on her”
Aegon scoffed “The two of you were living completely separate lives before you dipped your wick in Y.N”
“Maybe I still feel like I owe her something for the way things ended”
Aegon rolled his eyes. “Please. Alys was in the relationship for herself, and you know it.”
Aemond shook his head, staring into his glass. “Maybe toward the end, but at the beginning-”
Daeron cut him off. “Beginning, middle, or end—it’s irrelevant now. You don’t owe Alys a damn thing.”
Aegon raised his beer. “Here, here. Come on, brother. Drink up—we’re celebrating tonight!”
Aemond arched an eyebrow. “Celebrating what?”
Aegon grinned wide. “You finally getting the girl.”
Later that night, after far too many drinks, Aemond stumbled down the hallway to his penthouse.
His fingers fumbled with the key, and in his drunken state, he cursed under his breath.
"Who's moving this damned lock?" he groaned, leaning against the door for support.
Suddenly, the door opened, and Aemond went flying into the penthouse, landing ungracefully on the floor.
He blinked up at Y.N., who stood above him, arms crossed but an amused smile playing on her lips.
“Hello,” he slurred, sprawled on the floor.
Y.N. knelt down, a mix of amusement and concern on her face. “Did you have a good night?”
Aemond clumsily tried to get to his knees, swaying slightly. “I had a few beers,” he mumbled.
Y.N. quirked an eyebrow. “Looks like you’ve had more than a few,” she remarked, closing the door behind him and locking it.
Aemond groaned, rubbing his forehead. “I’m bit tired.”
“Let’s get you to bed, then,” Y.N. said, helping him to his feet. He stumbled slightly, and she all but dragged him towards the bedroom.
On the way, Aemond suddenly stopped, looking serious. “I have a girlfriend,” he said, as if making a grand declaration.
Y.N. stifled a laugh. “I’m sure your girlfriend will understand.”
Aemond looked up at her, his drunken expression deadly serious. “My girlfriend is my girlfriend, and she had a baby-my baby-”
“How nice,” Y.N. laughed, guiding him to the edge of the bed. She sat him down and began pulling off his shoes and socks.
As she worked, Aemond’s eye fluttered, his head lolling. “You smell nice,” he murmured, slurring slightly.
Y.N. laughed again, shaking her head as she took off his coat and removed his eyepatch. She was careful, knowing how vulnerable he felt without it.
Aemond squinted up at her. “Are you trying to get me naked?” he asked, a lopsided grin on his face.
Y.N. rolled her eyes. “I’m trying to get you comfortable.”
Aemond’s hands found their way to her waist, his forehead resting against her stomach as he clung to her. “I love you,” he mumbled, his voice softer now. “I do. So much. Please don’t leave me.”
Her heart clenched at his words. “I’m not leaving. Now, come on—lie down and go to sleep.”
With her gentle urging, Aemond finally lay back against the pillows, his body relaxing almost instantly. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out cold, his breathing deep and steady.
Y.N. stood there for a moment, watching him sleep, her hand brushing through his hair. Despite everything, she couldn’t help but smile.
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Aemond woke up the next morning face down, groaning at the pounding in his skull.
His mouth felt like sandpaper, and the faint light filtering through the curtains only worsened his throbbing headache.
He groaned and muttered to himself, "Never drinking again."
Slowly, he pushed himself up, feeling like every bone in his body ached from his night of excess. Shakily, he stood and stumbled toward the bathroom, catching a glimpse of his dishevelled reflection.
His hair was a mess, and the faint smell of stale alcohol clung to his skin. “Gods, I reek,” he muttered, stripping off his clothes and stepping into the shower.
The hot water didn’t do much to ease his hangover, but at least it helped him feel a little more human. After drying off, he threw on a clean shirt and sweatpants before heading to the kitchen, still rubbing his temples.
When he entered the kitchen, the smell of sizzling bacon hit him, making his stomach growl loudly. Y.N. stood at the stove, flipping over sausages and eggs, while a platter of crispy bacon sat on the counter.
“What's all this?” Aemond asked, his voice hoarse from last night.
Y.N. looked over her shoulder with a small smile. “Bacon, eggs, sausages—best hangover cure there is.”
Aemond could practically taste the food already, his stomach growling in anticipation. “You're a lifesaver.”
Before sitting down, he wandered into the living room to check on Jack. His son was on his playmat, gurgling happily and kicking his legs in the air.
Aemond’s heart softened instantly as he crouched down, brushing his hand over Jack’s soft hair. "Good morning, little man," he murmured.
Y.N.’s voice called from the kitchen. “Aemond, come sit down. Food’s ready.”
Reluctantly leaving Jack, Aemond joined her at the table and sat down. The plate in front of him was piled with food—golden eggs, perfectly crisp bacon, sausages cooked to perfection.
He didn’t waste time, diving in hungrily. Every bite seemed to ease the ache in his head a little more.
After finishing his breakfast, Y.N. handed him a glass of water and some painkillers. "Thought you might need these," she said with a teasing smile.
Aemond sighed in relief, taking the painkillers gratefully. “You’re a saint,” he muttered, washing them down.
The rest of the day passed in a blur of laziness. Aemond spent most of it sprawled out on the sofa, watching Jack play nearby, occasionally dozing off.
At one point, he even found himself napping with Jack snuggled up against him on the couch, the baby’s soft breaths helping him relax despite his headache.
But his peaceful nap was interrupted by a loud knock on the door, startling him awake. Jack stirred but didn’t cry, and Aemond gently laid him back on the playmat before sitting up groggily.
Y.N. was already answering the door when two men entered, their arms laden with large boxes, making quite a racket as they brought them inside.
Y.N. signed for the delivery, thanking them before they left. She turned toward the boxes with a curious look, wiping her hands on a towel as she approached them.
"What’s all this?" Aemond asked, still feeling groggy as he watched her tear open the packaging.
“It’s a delivery from the museum,” Y.N. explained, pulling away the bubble wrap to reveal two statues inside, both looking worse for wear. The stone was chipped in several places, and the detail on their surfaces was faded and worn down.
Aemond stepped closer, peering at the statues. “Think you can fix them?”
Y.N. smiled confidently, her fingers running over the smooth, cold surface of one of the statues. “Absolutely. They’ve seen better days, but I’ve handled worse. I’ll have them looking good as new soon.”
Aemond nodded, impressed as always with her skill. He watched her work for a moment, feeling a surge of pride in her abilities. “You’re really amazing, you know that?”
Y.N. looked up from the statue, a soft blush colouring her cheeks. “Thanks,” she said quietly before turning back to her workbench.
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For the next couple of months, Y.N. worked diligently on the two statues that had been delivered from the museum.
She had printed pictures of what the statues originally looked like and pinned them to the walls of her workspace for reference.
Each day was a careful, deliberate process—she spent hours gently cleaning the weathered stone, ensuring that every inch was properly prepped before moving on to repairs.
When the cleaning was complete, Y.N. mixed plaster to the perfect consistency, using it to patch up the chips and cracks that marred the statues.
She took her time, delicately applying the mixture before using a fine-grain sandpaper to smooth out any unevenness. Every touch required precision, and the smallest mistake could ruin weeks of progress.
After the repairs were done, she moved on to the final stages: painting and applying a special wax that not only enhanced the statues' details but also provided an extra layer of protection.
It was a painstakingly slow process, but Y.N. found it rewarding. Still, the work had taken longer than anticipated due to balancing her time between the restoration and caring for Jack.
Once the statues were fully restored, they were carefully boxed up in layers of protective material and sent back to the museum.
As much as Y.N. loved her work, she felt a sense of relief when the project was completed. She had poured so much energy into the restoration that, despite her passion, it left her feeling drained.
But knowing that she had done justice to the pieces, especially with Jack in tow, made the reward even sweeter.
One afternoon, feeling a little freer after finishing the statues, Y.N. decided to surprise Aemond at work.
She stopped by a local café to grab them some dinner and pushed Jack in his pram as she made her way to Targaryen Inc.
As she entered the sleek lobby, she was startled to hear someone call her name. She turned to see Jacaerys waving at her from across the room.
They hadn’t seen each other since the heated argument in the café months ago, and Y.N. hesitated for a moment before waving back.
Jace quickly crossed the room to meet her. "Hey," he said, a bit of uncertainty in his voice. "How have you been?"
Y.N. smiled, adjusting her grip on Jack's pram. "I've been fine. You?"
Jace glanced down at Jack, his expression softening. "Wow, he really looks like Aemond."
Y.N. smiled fondly at her son. "Yeah, he does."
After a beat, Jace rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Look, I wanted to apologize for how I spoke to you in the café. I was angry, and I lashed out. But I shouldn’t have said those things."
Y.N. took a deep breath, remembering how hurtful that encounter had been.
But seeing Jace now, visibly regretful, she nodded. "It’s okay. I probably should have told you from the start that Aemond was Jack’s father. I understand why you were upset."
Jace gave her a sad smile. "How are things with my uncle? My mother said you two are dating now."
Y.N. felt a warmth spread through her at the thought of Aemond. "They’re good. I know we did things a little backward—baby first, then the relationship—but we’re happy."
Jace nodded, but his smile was tinged with sadness. "I'm glad to hear that," he said quietly.
For a few moments, they stood there in silence, the weight of everything unspoken hanging between them.
Then Jace cleared his throat and glanced at the time. "I should get going. I told my mother I'd only be five minutes."
Y.N. smiled. "Of course. It was nice seeing you, Jace."
He hesitated for a second, then quickly stepped forward and hugged her.
It was brief but sincere. "Take care, Y.N.," he said as he pulled away, rushing off before either of them could dwell on the moment.
Y.N. watched him go, feeling a strange mixture of relief and nostalgia. She took a deep breath, then turned back toward the lift.
Pressing the button, she smiled at Jack, ready to surprise Aemond with their impromptu visit.
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Y.N. stepped out of the lift, pushing Jack's pram ahead of her, feeling a surge of excitement at the idea of surprising Aemond.
The office was quiet, and she noticed Aemond’s assistant wasn’t at her desk.
Smiling down at Jack, who gave her a gummy grin in response, she whispered, “Let’s surprise Daddy, shall we?”
She quietly pushed open the door to Aemond’s office, but the sight that greeted her made her stop in her tracks.
Alys was sitting close to Aemond on the leather sofa.
Aemond shot up from his seat the moment he saw Y.N. walk in, looking slightly startled.
"Y.N.," he said, with a forced smile, quickly crossing the room to kiss her head. "This is a nice surprise."
Y.N. fought the wave of anger surging through her but forced a smile. "I was taking a walk with Jack," she said, her voice tight, "and thought I’d bring you something for dinner since you've been working hard lately."
Aemond’s face softened. "That was thoughtful of you," he said, reaching into the pram to lift Jack out. He held his son close, pressing a kiss to his chubby cheek. “Daddy's missed you.”
Y.N. watched, her stomach churning as Alys rose gracefully from the sofa and walked over to stand beside Aemond.
"He’s gotten bigger-" Alys said with a sweet smile, looking at Jack. "Can I hold him?"
"No," Y.N. snapped, before she could stop herself. She quickly reached for Jack, putting him back into the pram and turning him away from Alys.
There was a tension in the air that no one could ignore as Alys stepped back, her smirk barely hidden.
Y.N. turned to Aemond, her voice sharp. "What is she doing here?"
Aemond leaned in close, whispering hurriedly, "I didn’t know she was coming. She just turned up."
Y.N. narrowed her eyes, her anger boiling over. "Then you should’ve thrown her old arse out."
Aemond sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I’m just helping her get established with her business. That’s all."
Y.N. scoffed, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "The only business she’s after is in your pants."
"You're being ridiculous," Aemond muttered, trying to keep his voice low.
Y.N. caught a glimpse of Alys standing by the desk, the smug smirk on her face as if she were relishing the tension in the room.
That was it. She couldn’t take it anymore.
Without a second thought, Y.N. grabbed the bag of food she had brought for Aemond and threw it at him.
The containers hit his chest and fell to the floor, spilling sandwiches and chips across the carpet.
“Here,” she spat, her voice seething with anger. “I hope you both fucking choke”
Ignoring Aemond’s frantic calls of her name, she turned on her heel, pushing Jack’s pram out of the office as fast as she could, her heart pounding with fury.
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Aemond stood in the middle of his office, wiping the food off his shirt with quick, agitated movements.
His eye flicked to the mess on the floor, the sandwiches and chips scattered across the carpet. Frustration gnawed at him, but before he could act on it, Alys approached, placing a hand gently on his arm.
“Aemond—” she began, her tone soft, but he immediately snatched his arm away, his patience frayed.
"Don't," he snapped, his voice cold and sharp. He moved quickly to grab his jacket from the back of his chair, already making his way toward the door.
Alys’s voice followed him, laced with confusion—or perhaps something more manipulative. "Where are you going?"
"After Y.N.," Aemond responded, his tone clipped. "I need to talk to her. I need to explain."
"Explain what?" Alys asked, her voice turning smug. "We were only talking."
Aemond halted, turning to face her fully, his eye narrowing with irritation.
"What are you even doing here, Alys? The clients I recommended to you are more than capable of keeping you busy. You don’t need my help anymore."
Alys smirked, a dangerous glint in her eye. "You’re right. I don’t need your help," she admitted, stepping closer. "I never really did"
Aemond’s frustration shifted into suspicion. His voice turned demanding. "What do you want, Alys?"
She gave him a slow, calculated smile. "I want you."
Aemond froze, his gaze hardening. "What?"
"I wasn’t lying when I said I missed you," Alys said, her voice sultry, as she moved closer to him, her hands grazing his chest.
“I’m not interested” snapped Aemond.
"I remember when you used to be interested."
Aemond immediately removed her hands from him. "That was then," he said firmly, stepping back. "This is now."
Alys wasn’t deterred. She leaned in, trying to kiss him, but Aemond pushed her away, more forcefully this time.
"I just want it to be the way it was," she said, a hint of desperation creeping into her voice.
"It will never be the way it was," Aemond said through clenched teeth, his temper rising. He couldn’t believe she had the nerve to push this after everything. "It’s over, Alys."
Still, Alys persisted. "We could be good together again, you know that. You felt it once—"
"Enough!" Aemond shouted, his voice booming with frustration. "Get it through your head—I don’t fucking want you. What we had is over." His words cut like a knife, leaving no room for misinterpretation.
Alys’s face twisted in anger. "So, you're choosing Y.N over me?"
"Yes," Aemond said, his voice steady and final. "I choose her. I will always choose her. Because I love her"
There was no hesitation in his answer, and that seemed to anger Alys further. She glared at him, her face contorting with bitter jealousy.
"Fine," she said, grabbing her coat with sharp, angry movements. "But that’s too bad. We could’ve had something special."
Aemond scoffed, crossing his arms. "I already have something special with Y.N. and Jack."
Alys moved toward the door, her expression icy. Just before she left, she turned to him, her voice low and venomous. "Not anymore, you don’t."
With that, she slammed the door behind her, leaving Aemond standing alone in his office, her final words lingering like a dark cloud.
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As Y.N rushed out of Targaryen Inc, her vision blurred by tears, she barely noticed the world around her. Each breath felt heavy with the weight of betrayal.
She had wanted to surprise Aemond with something thoughtful, but instead, she’d walked into a scene that made her stomach turn. Alys, sitting close to him—too close. Her heart ached, and all she wanted was to escape.
By the time she reached the penthouse, Y.N was shaking. She hastily left a note and packed a bag for herself and Jack, not entirely sure where she was going, but desperate to leave.
With Jack bundled up and strapped into his pram, she left the penthouse, wandering the city streets. She hopped onto a bus without thinking, letting the rhythmic rocking carry her away from her thoughts, until she stood before a familiar black door.
The sound of music leaked through the walls, and she hesitated for a moment before ringing the doorbell.
The music paused, and moments later, the door swung open to reveal Aegon, shirtless and slightly dishevelled, clearly caught off guard.
“Y.N.,” he said, surprised to see her standing there.
Behind him, a girl lounged lazily on the sofa, eyeing Y.N. with vague curiosity.
Embarrassed and feeling out of place, Y.N. tearfully apologized, backing away. "I’m sorry for disturbing you. I should go—"
Aegon quickly stepped forward, gently catching her arm. "Hey, wait—what’s wrong?" he asked, his brow furrowed in concern as he quickly pulled on a T-shirt.
"It doesn’t matter," Y.N. muttered, tears threatening to spill again.
"It does matter," Aegon insisted, his voice firm yet kind. He turned to the girl on the sofa, gesturing toward the door. “You need to leave.”
The girl huffed, gathering her clothes and glaring at Y.N. as she passed by.
As soon as the door shut behind her, Y.N. broke down, the sobs she had been holding back finally spilling out.
Aegon didn’t hesitate—he pulled her into a comforting hug, hushing her softly as she cried into his chest.
“What happened?” he asked gently, rubbing her back as she tried to calm down.
Y.N. took a shaky breath, wiping her face with the back of her hand. “I went to surprise Aemond at work-and Alys was there.” Her voice broke, and Aegon cursed under his breath.
“That fucking idiot,” Aegon muttered, holding her tighter. He didn’t press her for more details, just let her cry it out until the storm of emotions passed.
“Can Jack and I stay here tonight?” Y.N. asked after a moment, her voice soft and uncertain. “I don’t want to go back. But he’ll come looking for me-”
Aegon quickly nodded. “Of course, you can stay. Don’t worry about him. If he comes round here, I’ll tell him you’re not here. And when Daeron gets home from work, I’ll make sure he keeps his mouth shut, too.”
Y.N. managed a small, grateful smile through her tears. “Thank you-and I’m sorry, again. I feel like I’m imposing.”
Aegon shook his head, giving her a comforting smile. “Stop apologizing. You’re not the one in the wrong—Aemond is. What the hell is he thinking?”
Just then, Jack’s soft cries filled the room, and Aegon released Y.N. so she could tend to him. She reached into the pram, but Aegon quickly offered to take the baby. “Here, let me.”
Y.N. handed Jack over, and Aegon rocked him gently, his touch surprisingly tender. “My brother needs to open his eye and see that harpy for who she really is,” Aegon muttered, rolling his eyes.
Y.N. let out a small laugh, despite herself. “You’re not wrong there.”
Aegon raised an eyebrow and grinned. “I’m serious. I’ve never liked her, and you know if I don’t like a woman, that’s a red flag. I mean, I love the ladies.”
Y.N. laughed again, this time a little more genuinely. “I know. Especially the married ones.”
Aegon shrugged with a playful smirk. “Of course. But Alys-she’s different. In all honesty I never really liked looking directly at her.”
“She’s not Medusa” Y.N. said, shaking her head.
“She might as well be,” Aegon shot back with a mock shiver.
After a few more moments, Aegon smiled and said, “Why don’t you sit down? I’ll sort us something to eat.”
Y.N. raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you cooked.”
“I don’t,” Aegon admitted with a grin. “I’m ordering takeout. Will pizza be okay?”
Y.N. nodded, grateful to be here in this moment, with someone who had her back when she needed it most.
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Y.N gently bathed Jack in Aegon’s bathroom, the warm water soothing her nerves as much as it did Jack’s.
He splashed playfully, his little hands reaching for her as she carefully washed him, a small smile tugging at her lips despite the heaviness in her chest.
After drying him off, she dressed him in his soft, blue pyjamas, his eyes beginning to droop as she cradled him in her arms. She fed him, rocking slowly, humming a quiet tune until his soft, rhythmic breathing told her he had drifted off to sleep.
She laid him in the middle of Aegon’s bed, arranging pillows around him carefully, making sure he was safe and comfortable.
The door remained slightly ajar, just enough for her to hear him in case he woke up. Stepping back into the living room, she felt a pang of guilt.
"I feel terrible for kicking you out of your own bed," Y.N. said, biting her lip.
Aegon waved a hand dismissively. "Don’t worry about it. I offered. Besides, I’m not exactly known for my chivalry—this is a rare moment for me, let’s not ruin it."
Y.N. chuckled weakly but appreciated the levity. She sank onto the couch, pulling out her phone.
Her breath hitched as she saw the screen flooded with notifications—30 missed calls from Aemond, and numerous text messages.
She scrolled through them, her heart twisting at the range of emotions. Messages declaring his undying love, apologizing profusely, followed by angry ones accusing her of taking Jack from him without any right.
The whirlwind of his emotions matched her own confusion.
"What are you going to do tomorrow?" Daeron asked, sitting down beside her.
Y.N. sighed, putting the phone down. "I don’t know. I really don’t. Part of me wants to talk to him, but after what happened today, I don’t even know where to start."
"You can stay here as long as you need," Daeron reassured her. "But-you know Aemond’s going to find out eventually that we’ve lied to him. And when he does, he won’t be happy."
Y.N. rubbed her temples, feeling the weight of it all crashing down on her. "I’m sorry to drag you both into this. I just needed to get away, and I didn’t know where else to go."
Aegon scoffed, lounging on the other end of the couch. "Screw him. We’ve all tried telling him about that bitch, but noooo-Aemond thinks he knows better. Now look where we are."
Daeron, ever the peacemaker, leaned forward. "Not to defend Aemond too much, but maybe he thought he was helping Alys out of some twisted sense of guilt—like making up for cheating on her."
Aegon rolled his eyes, his frustration palpable. "The guy’s an idiot. He’s letting this mess get in the way of what really matters”
Y.N. suddenly feeling overwhelmed, stood up "I’m going to bed," she murmured, offering them both a tired smile. "Goodnight."
“Night-” said Aegon and Daeron in unison.
Y.N. walked down the hallway, her heart heavy. She peeked into the bedroom, watching Jack sleep peacefully, oblivious to the storm swirling around them.
As she lay down beside him, she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold everything together for just a little while longer.
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The next morning, Y.N. woke early, fed Jack, and packed their things. As she stood by the door, she turned to Aegon and Daeron, offering a grateful smile.
"Thank you, both of you, for letting us stay over. But I think it’s time we head back to the penthouse. I’m going to take Jack for a walk in the park first, clear my head before I see Aemond."
Aegon, still lounging lazily in his chair, got up and walked over to her, pulling her into a hug. "You’re always welcome here, you know that" he said, giving her a wink. "But if you ever come back, I won’t give up my bed again. We’ll just have to share."
Daeron rolled his eyes. "Ignore him and regardless of what happens, we’ll still be there for you and Jack”
Y.N. gave a soft laugh and nodded. "Thanks again, really." She checked the straps in Jack’s pram and then wheeled it towards the door. "Goodbye, and take care."
As she left, the door clicked shut behind her, leaving Aegon and Daeron in the apartment.
Not long after, Daeron furrowed his brow and turned to Aegon. "Oh no, she forgot one of Jack’s toys."
Aegon picked up the small plush from the table, examining it.
"What the hell is this thing?" he muttered, turning the soft rabbit-like toy over in his hands. The ears crinkled when he squeezed them, making an odd sound.
"I don’t know," Daeron shrugged. "Right, I’ve gotta head to work. You good?"
"Yeah, yeah," Aegon waved, still scrutinizing the toy as if it held the answers to life. "See you later."
Just as Daeron grabbed his jacket and headed out the door, it swung open again—this time revealing Aemond, standing in the doorway.
His eye narrowed when he saw Jack’s toy in Aegon’s hand.
Aegon tried to hide it behind his back, but it was too late.
"Where did you get that?" Aemond asked, his voice tight.
Aegon stuttered, "Well, you see—"
"Was Y.N. and Jack here?" Aemond cut him off, his tone dark.
Aegon sighed. "Yeah, they were, but they left a little while ago. She didn’t know where else to go."
Aemond's expression turned furious. "When I rang you last night and asked if you'd seen her, and you said no—was she here?"
Aegon swallowed, glancing at the floor. "Yes, she was here. She slept in my bed—"
That was all Aemond needed to hear. Without warning, he punched Aegon in the face.
Aegon stumbled backward, landing hard on the floor, clutching his nose as blood began to flow.
"Did you fuck her?" Aemond bellowed, his voice full of rage.
Aegon groaned, sitting up slowly, blood dripping between his fingers. "No! I stayed on the sofa, you fucking arsehole-"
Aemond began pacing around the apartment, his hands running through his hair in frustration.
Aegon stood up, wincing as he gingerly touched his nose. He grabbed a nearby towel, pressing it to his face.
"You have no right to be angry," Aegon spat. "You’re the one who’s been hanging around with your bitch of an ex."
Aemond stopped pacing, his face tightening. "I was just trying to make up for what I did. But it was a mistake—a massive one. Alys-she tried to kiss me."
Aegon’s expression hardened, and without a second thought, he punched Aemond in the mouth.
Aemond stumbled back, stunned, as blood began to trickle from his lip.
"You moron," Aegon growled. "What the fuck were you thinking?"
Aemond wiped the blood from his mouth, still in shock from Aegon’s punch. "She tried to kiss me, and I pushed her away. I didn’t let it happen."
Aegon shook his head, disappointment clear on his face as he went to the freezer to grab some ice.
"You’re such an idiot. I’ve been telling you for years what she’s like"
Aemond stood there, blood staining his lips. "I know," he said quietly. "I know now that it was all a manipulation. She didn’t need my help with her business. She just—"
"—wanted to get back into your pants," Aegon finished for him. He shook his head, pressing the towel full of ice cubes against his bruised nose. "You only lost one eye, brother. How could you be so blind?"
Aemond’s shoulders slumped as he sat down heavily on the edge of the couch. "I’m an idiot ok" he admitted, voice hoarse. "I let her in when I should’ve known better."
"You’re damn right you’re an idiot," Aegon said with a bitter laugh. "You let that old bint back into your life when we all tried to warn you. And now, you’ve potentially lost the best thing that’s ever happened to you all because of your own stupidity."
Aemond closed his eye, running his hands through his hair again. He knew Aegon was right. And now, he didn’t know how to fix it.
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As Aemond sat on the couch, staring down at the toy he had snatched from Aegon’s hand, a heavy silence settled between them.
Aegon, still pressing the towel full of ice to his swollen nose, finally broke the quiet.
"You know, I’m jealous of you," Aegon muttered, his voice low but steady.
Aemond frowned and looked up. "Jealous? Of me? Why?"
Aegon let out a tired chuckle. "Because of Y.N."
Aemond's expression darkened, and his jaw clenched. "What are you saying?"
Aegon raised his free hand, waving off his brother’s suspicions. "No-I’m not into her like that. It's the way she loves you, Aemond." He looked away for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "The way she looks at you-it’s something else. I’d give anything for a woman to look at me the way she looks at you. There’s this—" He struggled to find the right words, "—devotion in her eyes. And she brings out the best in you, even if you’re too blind to see it."
Aemond’s face softened slightly, and he allowed a faint smile to tug at his lips. "Maybe if you stopped chasing unavailable women, you'd find someone like that."
Aegon huffed a laugh. "Yeah, maybe. I was actually trying to get with someone last night, if you must know. But then Y.N. came over and interrupted." He shrugged, the corners of his mouth lifting in amusement.
"And you helped her instead," Aemond remarked, his tone shifting to something more serious.
"Of course I did," Aegon said, looking at his brother with a surprising sincerity. "I like her—no, not in that way. But I wanted to make sure both her and Jack were safe”.
Aemond sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Thank you, Aegon."
Aegon nodded, leaning back against the counter. "You’re welcome. But I don’t care what you have to do. You better make it up to her. She’s good for you, Aemond. You two belong together. Don’t be the fool who throws it all away."
Aemond stood, taking a deep breath. "You’re right. I need to fix this." He paused, glancing at the door.
"Yeah," Aegon replied, standing straighter. "She mentioned she was taking Jack for a walk in the park and then heading back to the penthouse”.
Aemond started towards the door, but Aegon called out to him. "Hey, one more thing."
Aemond stopped and turned, raising an eyebrow. "What?"
Aegon smirked, his usual playful self returning. "You should ask her to marry you."
Aemond froze for a moment, considering the weight of Aegon’s words.
Slowly, he nodded, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. "Maybe I will."
Aegon grinned, his smirk widening into a mischievous grin. "Because then she’d definitely shag me."
Aemond took a deep breath before he charged at his brother. Aegon dodged out of the way, laughing loudly as Aemond began chasing him around the table.
"You little—!" Aemond shouted, but despite his frustration, there was a smile creeping onto his face as Aegon kept laughing, the tension between the brothers momentarily broken by their banter.
"Too slow!" Aegon called out, still running, a cheeky grin plastered on his face.
For just a moment, the heaviness that had hung over them lifted, and despite the mess Aemond needed to fix, he felt a flicker of hope. He wasn’t going to let Y.N. slip away—no matter what it took.
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Aemond wandered through the quiet streets, his mind racing. He desperately wanted to see Y.N. and Jack, to hold them both close and promise he would never let his stupidity come between them again.
But he knew he had to give her time—to get back to the penthouse, to settle Jack, and most of all, to calm down. As much as he wanted to rush to her side, he knew that right now, patience was key.
She was the love of his life, and the thought that he might have jeopardized everything made his chest tighten.
How had he let it get this far? It was easy to blame Alys, to paint her as the villain in his mind, but deep down, Aemond knew the truth—it was his own fault.
His misguided sense of duty, his foolish belief that he could make up for his past mistakes by helping her, had led him down this path. He should have left the past buried.
As soon as Alys had reached out, he should have told her to get lost. Instead, he had let her manipulate him, and now Y.N. and Jack were suffering the consequences.
He clenched his jaw, his hands balling into fists as he walked. Alys’s motives were clear from the beginning, and he cursed himself for not seeing them.
But the damage had been done. Now, all he could do was hope—pray, even—that Y.N. would give him the chance to make things right.
He loved her, more than he had ever loved anyone, and the thought of losing her, of losing their life together, sent a sharp pain through his chest.
As he rounded a corner, his steps slowed when he came to a stop in front of a jewellery shop. His eye caught on the glittering rings displayed in the window, and for a moment, he allowed himself to close his eye and imagine.
He pictured Y.N. in a beautiful wedding dress, walking towards him with that radiant smile she always wore when she looked at him. His hand reaching for hers as they exchanged vows, their kiss sealing their promises as they became husband and wife.
But was that future even possible now? Or had he ruined it beyond repair?
Aemond let out a heavy breath, running a hand through his silver hair. He had thought about proposing to her before, but now-was it even right to consider it?
Would she still want a life with him after everything that had happened? After the hurt he had caused?
He wasn’t sure, but he knew one thing—he had to try. He couldn’t give up on them, not when he loved her with every fibre of his being.
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Aemond stepped into the penthouse, his heart immediately dropping at the sight of a suitcase by the front door. Jack was fast asleep in his pram, his small chest rising and falling peacefully.
Aemond's gaze shifted from his son to Y.N., who sat on the sofa, nervously fiddling with her fingers, her face pale and her eyes distant.
His voice cracked as he asked, "Are you leaving me?"
Y.N. looked up at him, her expression torn. She took a deep breath and nodded slowly. "I think it's for the best”.
The words pierced through him like a blade, and Aemond felt his knees weaken. In an instant, he was in front of her, kneeling on the floor with his head resting in her lap, his body shaking with quiet sobs.
 "Please don’t leave me," he choked out, his voice thick with desperation. "I’m so sorry, Y.N. I thought I owed it to Alys, after everything that happened, but I was wrong. I see that now. I made a terrible mistake, and I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Please, please don’t go."
Y.N. hesitated, her hands trembling as she slowly stroked his hair. But then, gently, she removed him from her lap and stood up, forcing a shaky breath as she wiped her eyes.
"I need to think, Aemond. I need to figure out what’s best for me and for Jack."
Aemond rose to his feet, his desperation mounting as he cupped her face in his hands, peppering soft, frantic kisses across her cheeks, her forehead, her lips. "I love you," he whispered, again and again between kisses. "I love you more than anything. Please, just—just stay. Let’s work this out."
Y.N. closed her eyes, letting her forehead rest against his for a moment as the pain of the situation overwhelmed her.
"I love you too, Aemond," she whispered, her voice heavy with emotion. "But I need space. I need to think about what I really want”
Aemond’s breath hitched, but he nodded, knowing he couldn’t push her any further. He backed away slightly, his eye red and pained.
He turned to Jack, still peacefully sleeping in his pram, and pressed a tender kiss to his son’s forehead.
"Be good for your mummy," he whispered softly, brushing a finger over Jack’s tiny hand.
With that, Aemond walked to the door and held it open, his heart breaking with every passing second.
Y.N. pushed the pram through the door and glanced back at him one last time, her suitcase in hand, her eyes filled with sadness and uncertainty.
“Goodbye Aemond-”
As soon as the door clicked shut, Aemond collapsed against it, sliding down to the floor until he was sitting with his back against the wood.
His head fell into his hands as the weight of it all came crashing down. Silent sobs wracked his body.
He had lost them both—And it was his own fault.
TBC
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secretmellowblog · 2 days
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Reading today's @lesmisletters chapter and I'm really struck by the parallel between Marius and his mother, Madame Pontmercy. The way Gillenormand is grieving Madame Pontmercy adds another layer to their relationship. She also chose Bonapartism and Colonel Pontmercy over her father, and Gillenormand also cut her off for it, and she also died estranged from Gillenormand. Marius's aunt even makes this comparison directly, saying that “My father never cared very much for my sister after her folly. It is clear that he detests Marius.” It's fascinating how Gillenormand's implied grief over the death of his daughter changes his character? He's already lost one child over this, and if he keeps refusing to change his ways he's going to lose another. This has happened to him before, and if he still refuses to change it will happen again. I've mentioned before that Victor Hugo used Les Mis to explore his own personal grief at the tragic death of his own young daughter, Leopoldine Hugo, who died at the age of 19. There's a repeating image in Les Mis of parents grieving separation from their children. Gillenormand's behavior in this chapter echoes Georges Pontmercy, Fantine, and Jean Valjean-- all these parental figures we see slowly wasting away without their child:
He had had placed in his chamber, opposite the head of his bed, so that it should be the first thing on which his eyes fell on waking, an old portrait of his other daughter, who was dead, Madame Pontmercy, a portrait which had been taken when she was eighteen. He gazed incessantly at that portrait. One day, he happened to say, as he gazed upon it:— “I think the likeness is strong.” “To my sister?” inquired Mademoiselle Gillenormand. “Yes, certainly.” The old man added:— “And to him also.”
The Arai Manga depicts this moment really well-- including the moment afterwards where he instantly snaps when people bring up Marius to him:
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I also think this adds another layer to his panic and despair when Marius leaves his home. He realizes Marius isn't coming back, ever, because he's done this before-- he has already had a child that left and never returned:
He began again, with a pitiful rattle: “Run after him! Bring him back! What have I done to him? He is mad! He is going away! Ah! my God! Ah! my God! This time he will not come back!” He went to the window which looked out on the street, threw it open with his aged and palsied hands, leaned out more than half-way, while Basque and Nicolette held him behind, and shouted:— “Marius! Marius! Marius! Marius!” But Marius could no longer hear him, for at that moment he was turning the corner of the Rue Saint-Louis. The octogenarian raised his hands to his temples two or three times with an expression of anguish, recoiled tottering, and fell back into an armchair, pulseless, voiceless, tearless, with quivering head and lips which moved with a stupid air, with nothing in his eyes and nothing any longer in his heart except a gloomy and profound something which resembled night.
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tarantula-hawk-wasp · 1 month
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If I don’t draw I’m going rot away for real
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Me seeing someone with a cool name: oooooo, what if
Another part of my brain: no. we spent enough time getting to Jonah. we’re not doing it again
#occasionally I get the urge to just hoard names#I think it would be neat#but also like how would I even tell people that#like here’s a list of random ass names that I think sound kind of cool don’t even know if I like them for myself yet#also sometimes it’s a name that’s typically a girls name and if I went hey I kind of like this name I feel like I would end up getting#misgendered and I don’t want to deal with that#it’s so funny because I’ve always wanted to change my name and I wonder how much of that was trans stuff and how much was I just like other#names#like honestly there are points where boneworms feels like more of my name than Jonah#whatever that says about me#I think I got off the point but whatever it’s almost two am#j rambles#coming back to this to rant more in the tags#so like the current names I’m rotating in my head are Silas (not my favorite of the three and I already have a character named this but#still it’s cool) also Sylvester specifically to be called the nickname syl#and nova which I know is a more feminine name but also presenting masculinly with a feminine name would be very gender#love having a weird gender but I feel like other people would be weird about it in a bad way#it’s not like a don’t like Jonah but I think I’ve gotten too used to it if that makes sense#like yeah it’s my name but it’s not as fun anymore#I’m back again#silver is also a cool name#I should really go to bed instead of just adding to the notes of this post#wait wait wait wait#sylver#okay I’m done now#probably
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carlottastudios · 3 months
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YES FELLOW KAEYA ENJOYER 🙌🙌🙌🙌 I woukd LOVE to hear your thoughts its so hard to find anyone talking about all of kaeyas lore and implications
HI FELLOW KAEYA ENJOYER!!!!
Thank you so much! I have actually started the process of writing down my thoughts and even realized that, because of how much all of Kaeya’s lore and implications and references connect together, a mind map might actually be a better format for listen all of my thoughts than just a text post. But then, ah…I started the VERY rough draft for this mind map and I’m realizing it’s already getting so huge and complicated, I’m actually worried about whether or not I’ll be able to make it cohesive and readable.
I think that might be why it’s so hard to find anyone talking about ALL of Kaeya’s lore & myth connections & implications. THERE’S JUST SO MUCH!!! Kaeya, you have so much going on!!!! And, like, good for you, beloved, but it’s not easy for the theorists!
Anyways, in case anyone is curious, here’s a look at what I’ve got so far for the super-rough draft of a mind map for all my unhinged Kaeya lore thoughts:
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Thank you for the nice message, anon!
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Imagine bro…
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Basil (the herb) is a whore and you should know that before your second year with it in the flower bed
#emma posts#so is cilantro#my mom was like ‘oh you can have a few plants I want to use in the kitchen. right?’#and I was a teenager and my raised beds are on family property so I didn’t really have a choice#but. while the kale was pretty normal. THE CILANTRO AND ARUGULA WERE WHORES#whores I did NOT sign up for#I wanted the basil myself so dealing with that is annoying but whatever#but the worst part is that my mom didn’t even eat the plants she had me grow!!!#she ate ones I decided to grow because the family likes strawberries and raspberries#I need to get mint again#and sage#but ANYWAY#I did know that all of these plants were whores#i just wasn’t there when they first started sprouting#I’m going to be going home more often this month and my mom wants the yard looking good for my brothers graduation party#so today was my first garden day of the year#it was nice but my back hates me and I really should have worn gloves (I didn’t know where my mom put mine)#but I hope the plants do well while I’m gone#the basil should be fine. I’d be genuinely surprised if that hoard all died#but the new plants i added for it to look better. those I’ve never had myself#although I’ve wanted to#don’t think I have a green thumb. it’s maybe greenish but half the work is done by the dirt here#it’s just like ‘on it boss 👍’#I should move some catnip into my garden#the stuff in front of my parents house could use some seperating#my strawberries were little bitches last year though so I have to be extra careful this year#I like the variety I have and I don’t know what it’s called so if it dies I’m out of luck#it’s a really cool variety. it actually blooms twice a summer#I can’t keep plants alive inside very long though:(#except my current African violet that takes anything I throw at it
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skenpiel · 1 year
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homestuck fans when theres no rhyme or reason to the trickster designs and its literally just a jumbled mess of hideous colors and vague candy themes which means theres no consistency to analyze to help with making fan designs
#now imagine if you will a very distraught face. because i cant be bothered adding an image#ANYWAYSSSSSSS i wanted 2 try making one but god its just so hard bc theres so many fucking colors and i suck at coloring anyway#i tried analyzing them to the best of my abilities to see if there was any consistency i could go off of......... but no theres Nothing#the only thing is that their cheek swirls are the same color as their pestechum colors. and thats it#even the outfits are different it seems to be slightly altered versions of their original outfits?#like roxy was wearing her purple knit dress when she got bonked but it was still her original outfit afterwards#their hair colors dont make sense their shoe colors dont make sense their head ornaments make a LITTLE sense..........#jakes and dirks are the most obvious. pumpkin and orange soda its like their thing i guess#janes being a muffin makes sense cuz crockercorp baker etc etc#roxys makes the least sense...... i dont think there was ever any mention of cotton candy for her aside from when caliborn wanted his weird#smut to be color coordinated for whatever reason#whenever i make otufits its usually just varying shades of the same 3 or so colors so trickster designs are a nightmare#even my old trickster mode trollsona was like. 3 colors total LOL#not to mention i wanted to make this design for my trollsona. and we only ever saw humans in trickster mode#and looking at older fanart didnt help cuz everyone had decided unanimously that the canon designs sucked ass (they did)#and in the future we should all give each character a food or somthing similar to base the whole design off of (good decision)#blehh. i give up its too much of a pain-_-#anyway. maybe i really am sick i think i need to lay down#already slept literally all day but im still so tired..........#i took painkillers and allergy meds in case of cat hair on bed but i still feel groggy as fuck#well whatever. itll probably go away soon i never really stay sick for long
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rolex-kaard · 1 year
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not to put fandom discourse on you brog but are you a grandpa joe supporter or hater
ummm supporter
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rainswept · 10 months
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working on something that will probably never see the light of day.. BUT IT LOOKS SO NICE i’m so sad.
#HSR is such a comfort for me i’m going to be honest#especially with huohuo being added?#like idk it’s just. giving me nostalgia to when i first started really getting into genshin#because the first character i ever wanted was hu tao#and they’re both.. spooky yk#augh.. i am so sad tonight for like no reason#i think i should just go to bed tbh that’s probably the issue#if anyone’s curious it’s a HSR network. because. i can’t help myself. but i am trying to help myself bc i already have st pavlov foundation#and the steambird (which isn’t a network but still) and i really… do not….. need to make another network…….. but i really want to#it’s something almost innate for me. every time i’d ever play a game with like#groups or guilds or clubs or whatever#any sort of thing like that#i would aaaaaalways make one. and i would have so much fun w it too.#it’s bled over into my tumblr life helppp#it was always a little bit unhealthy though.#like i would get SO invested into it that it would like. cause me stress.#which like.. isn’t good.#but i haven’t seen any purely HSR networks except for like 2 inactive ones and…#someone stop me actually. it’s the middle of the night. the sun is gonna come up soon. i need to sleep. not make choices.#i’m just gonna embarrass myself bye#especially if i keep rambling in the fucking TAGS ok i’m shutting up now#sorry followers/moots#byebye#me talking to myself like “see .. u literally have this in ur drafts rn.. u could just delete it” but then i go “but i already spent#x amount of time rambling and ppl could just like.. skip over this if they want to so why does it matter”#haha x amount of time. like x from the game reverse 1999#stop i’m so tired goodbye I’M SO SORRY
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loonlynxshenanigans · 11 months
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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018), Guild Wars 2 (Video Game)
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HEY GUESS WHO’S FINALLY POSTING THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE CROSSOVER FIC I’VE BEEN WRITING!!! HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEEEN
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kindheartedgummybears · 11 months
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"Im gonna go to bed no"
WRONG! PFP UPDATE!
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arachnidiots-a · 1 year
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the fact that i am fully awake rn…
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sudoscience · 2 years
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I think I had a mild panic attack yesterday. Is that even a thing? Can you have a mild panic attack? Or am I just out of shape?
Anyway, I mentioned the other day I was thinking about quitting my current job to go back to my old job, Favor (if you're not familiar, it's like Postmates or Uber Eats; you tell us what you want, we place the order, then we deliver it to you). I thought I'd give it a try just to see how much money I'd make before I actually quit 7-11, since it's been a few years and some things have changed. The answer is: somehow less than minimum wage, but it could have just been a slow night.*
So, I get this order from a restaurant downtown. Rather than look for street parking, I end up parking in the garage for Google's offices. I come out of the garage, and somehow end up on a different side of the building than where I entered. I get the food, go back into the garage, and head up the stairs.
The doors are one-way; you can leave the garage, but you need a key fob to get back in. How am I supposed to get back to my car? Am I stuck in this stairwell? Also, I don't know how to explain this, but there's a second set of stairs in the same stairwell, and they kind of overlap? Like, one set of stairs goes to the even floors and the other goes to the odd floors, and they aren't connected, but you could probably jump down onto the other one. This also means there's two flights of stairs between each door. I should also mention that, despite being in a stairwell by myself, I still had my mask on from entering the restaurant. (It's usually just easier to take it off in the car.) So, I'm in a hurry, my face is hot, and I'm climbing what seems to be an unusually long staircase.
If I wasn't carrying someone else's food, I might attempt the jump, but there's no guarantee those doors are unlocked, either. Oh, right! Someone else's food! I need to hurry up and get out of here so I can deliver it to them while it's still kinda hot so I can hopefully get another order. But how the fuck do I get out of this garage from hell? There's an elevator, but it's kind of in a lobby; it must go to the offices and not the garage. There's probably another elevator for the garage somewhere else. No, that is the correct elevator. It doesn't look like it, but it is. Finally, I can get back to my car. If I can find it. Are parking garages normally this complicated?
I eventually find it. I can leave. It cost me $10 to park there. I made $9.27 from the order. I don't think I'm quitting 7-11 just yet.
*I used to do Favor on my bicycle because I lived downtown then (and also my driving record was horrendous), but now I use my car and cover a much larger delivery area. Also, there used to be a schedule where you could sign up for the hours you wanted to work, and if you were scheduled, you were guaranteed to make at least $9/hr, but now you just run "on demand", and you make whatever you make. So, if you count the hour where I was assigned 0 orders despite being in a so-called hotspot, I made about $7/hr, but if you only include the hours where I actually received orders, I made almost $10.50/hr. Also, I only worked 3 hours because I really wasn't sure how it was going to go. For reference, 7-11 pays me $15/hr.
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autism-sprinkles · 2 months
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hi hello i need to ramble in the tags so have. shrimp
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