#yeah I did this to have a background on whatsapp

[junkanimate]

One (1) Mk

[mrmarielda]

aria meets a fan....

Ali (as Aria)[extremely awkward]: So yeah! If you just follow me on, um... [pained laugh]

Austin (as a fan)[confused]: I can't-- We can't-- But once we go inside, we can't access the mesh. How am i gonna know... Also I follow you already, you haven't posted anything about a secret show! Unless, do you have like a secret account i can follow?

Ali (as Aria): Right! Yeah, it's no longer @AriaJoieOfficial [bursts into laughter]

Austin (as the fan) [intrigued]: Ooooooh?!

[Keith and Ali laughing in the background]

Art: This is like one of those Instagram scams, except that the actual person is telling you to your face!

Austin (as the fan): What? It's no--

Keith [interrupting]: You've actually gotta sign up to my Whatsapp.

Austin (as the fan): It's NOT @AriaJoieOfficial? But Aria Joie Official still posts?

Ali (as Aria): Well, yes! Right! Right! It's, like, um, exclusive!

Austin (as the fan) [intrigued again]: Ooh! What's the-- What's the account name?

[Ali takes a deep breath]

Ali (as Aria): Um. Um. It's Aria Joie, but the As are fours.

Austin (as the fan) [palpably disappointed]: Oh. [Forcing themself to sound excited] Okay! I'll look it up!

Keith: This has gotta be, at this point, this person's like, "Someone has gotten plastic surgery to look like Aria Joie.

Austin: This is exactly it.

[Ali laughs]

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: The camera looks down and sees how many-- So the camera looks at their phone, or their interface, right, 'cause they're not looking at their phone. They have, like, you know, digital eyes, or whatever. Robot eyes. And they're looking at the, uh, screen. And we saw the Aria Joie account that has, like, three trillion subscribers, or whatever. But then it shows the Fouria Four-Foie account.

[All laughing]

Austin: How many subscribers do you have? [long pause as Ali thinks] 'Cause it ain't trillions!

Keith: It's--

Ali: It's not a trillion! But it's-- Is it-- [starts to say a number but quickly changes her mind]

Keith: Can I tell you my first thought was 334.

[cross-talking]

Austin: Yeah! I think it's NOT many!

Ali: 334! Okay! I was-- I was like-- What's the--

Keith: I think it can be whatever you want it to be, but that was my what's the funniest low number of followers? 334.

Ali: I didn't know if, like, 26 or, like, 300 was it. Because it's like are there only-- Is this the only people she's spoken to, like, on COUNTER/Weight so far? Or is it, presumably, somebody who googled Aria and accidentally, like, pressed on her.

Austin: No, you did not. No. You did not get the SEO at all. There's no fucking way.

Ali: There's stans, there's a reddit, you know!

[crosstalk]

Keith: For Fouria Joie?

Austin: There are Aria Joie RP accounts that have more followers than you!

Ali: Right.

Keith: Right.

Ali: Well, yes. Yeah. Uh-huh.

[Austin laughs]

Austin: I think it's low. I think 300's probably right.

Ali: 300 is... yeah.

Austin: And I think that they just go--

Austin (as fan)[weirded out] : Very exclusive!

Ali (as Aria): Well, yeah! I--It's, um. I'm just reaching out to the people on COUNTER/Weight right now.

Austin (as fan)[dismissive]: Okay.

Ali (as Aria): Are you just visiting? Or are you from the...

Austin (as fan): Yeah? Im-- Y-yeah. Mhm. I'm visiting. Yeah.

Keith: Oh my god. Now it's this person that's trying to get away.

Austin: Yeah. Uh-huh! Exactly.

[All laughing]

Art: Let's see where this person goes to get away, we'll follow them in.

Keith: Oh my god.

Austin (as fan): I have some-- Oh, you know, it was so good to meet you. I'm gonna tell all my friends. But I'm--

Ali (as Aria) [interrupting]: Is this your first time to the Sill?

Austin (as fan): Yeah, I haven't been here-- In fact, I have to go take a call. For Work. Uh. If that's okay. Sorry.

Ali (as Aria): Oh, I understand! Yeah!

Austin (as fan): Big fan! I love... all the songs.

Ali (as Aria): Do you wanna take a picture?

Austin (as fan): No.

[Ali laughs]

Austin (as fan): I don't wanna, uh.

[Art and Ali laughing]

Austin (as fan): I couldn't post it anywhere. 'Cause I don't wanna give away the exclusive part!

Ali (as Aria): Oh, no, you could!

Art: You should fuckin' play a show when this is over just to mess with this person.

Ali (as Aria): It's like, submersive, you know?

Austin (as fan): It's submersive?

Ali (as Aria): It's like unscheduled.

Austin (as fan): Like it goes under water?

Keith: Underwater!

[All laugh]

Keith: Canonical.

Austin: Ca-nautical!

[beat of quiet and then everyone laughs]

Art: Heeeyyyy!

Keith [laughing]: Ca-nautical!

Austin (as fan): Yeah, we could. We could take a picture. You wanna? Come over-- We could take a picture.

Austin: And they're wait for YOU to come over to them.

[All laugh]

Austin: And they're doing--

Jack [interrupting]: This is the most busted Aria Joie interaction, and we did a full series of...

Austin: They're doing-- They're making-- They're standing in such a way that you're hover-handing!

[Ali and Jack laugh]

Keith: Um. Mako is very loudly sipping on the end of... You know when you're done with a soda and you can [imitates the sound of sipping through a straw from an empty cup]. Like, this is the noise I've been making for like twelve seconds.

Austin: We're back, baybey!!!

[madphantom]

I can't even imagine what a clusterfuck it must be to be new in my friend group at the current time. Recently a new guy came along and me and another guy went to the store real quick but other guy only came along because he has a crush on me and wanted to spend time with me and so he didn't buy anything and when we returned new guy was like "what did you buy?" "Nothing" "you hauled your ass down and up the hill again to buy nothing?!"

Then later we were talking about my new phone and my crush (who is aware of being my crush) commented that my new phone doesn't have the photo of us I used to have as a phone background, and I said "well, at least there's still three photos of you in my WhatsApp profile photo" (I have a collage of happy moments from this summer as my profile photo) and new guy was like "you have him in your WhatsApp profile photo THRICE?!" and my crush was like "yeah she's completely obsessed with me" and new guy looked at the clusterfuck of a dynamic us three have going on and let out the deepest sigh of confusion and despair I've ever heard

[oraclekleo]

Although it is not fun being sick, it allows us to do activities that we do not normally make time to do. When I'm sick, I like to play video games (mostly open world RPGs) or read a book! Did you have a chance to read or listen to an audio book during your rest, Miss Kleo?

Hello!

Hmmm... I often ge knocked down with the pills so I spent most time snoozing with TV running as a background noise.

But!

Yesterday I wen't through old family photo albums. I scanned some photos to have them in digital form, in case grandma would want me to send her on Whatsapp or whatnot. So yeah, that was my activity yesterday. It was many albums and looking back, I'm genuinelly surprised I survived my childhood 🤣 I know many stories about how I was close to death and the photos reminded me of some more cases 😂

Yeah, kids in the 90's were tough... 😎 We didn't have smartphones but we were masters of survival techniques. 😂

Are you reading something interesting these days?

[survey--s]

534.

Do you prefer bar or liquid soap? Liquid, for sure. I hate the feeling/texture of bar soap.

What's the speed limit on your street? 20mph, but it’s normally impossible to even go that fast.

When was the last time you wore your favourite article of clothing? Yesterday.

Do any of your family members have an upcoming birthday? Yeah, my dad’s birthday is in about ten days.

On a scale of 1-5, 5 being the best, rate your last kiss. A three, maybe?

What is your favourite flavour of Jolly Ranchers? I’ve never had those.

Where was your Facebook profile picture taken? At home.

Do your parents smoke? Neither of them do.

Would you rather bake cookies or a potato? Cookies.

Who was the last person to stay the night at your house? Nobody ever sleeps over here.

Do you live close to a park? Yeah, there’s one about ten minutes away.

Is your favourite animal endangered? Yeah, tigers are.

Have you eaten pizza in the last week? Yeah, I had a roasted vegetable pizza on Saturday.

Who was the last person you added to your contacts list? An unknown number so I could look them up on WhatsApp.

How long does it take you to shower? Five minutes. I hate actually being in the shower but I love the feeling of being clean so I just get it over and done with.

Do you prefer a brand of bottled water over others, or is it all the same? I don’t drink bottled water.

Have you used Wikipedia today? Yeah.

Are you better at writing fiction or non-fiction? Fiction, for sure.

Do you know anyone who has moved to a different state? Yeah, I don’t know many people who haven’t lol.

How many pens can you see from where you’re sitting? Zero.

Have you ever dated someone one grade/year above or below you? Of course.

What language do you think you’d be good at? Italian. What language do you think you’d fail at? Any language with symbols lol.

Do you still have a landline phone at your house? No.

What is your current desktop background? Just an outer space image I got off Google.

How big is the television you last watched? It’s about 42″ I think.

Have you ever been stung by a bee or a wasp? Yeah.

How many schools have you been to in your lifetime? Two schools, and two universities.

What is the middle name of the last person you texted? He doesn’t have a middle name.

Are you of legal age in your country? Yes.

Why did you last visit a doctor? To get a sick note for work.

Would you prefer an ice cream cake or a regular cake? Regular cake.

How old is your best friend? 38.

What is/was your high school’s mascot? Schools in the UK don’t really have mascots.

Do you carry pain relievers with you at all times? Not on my person, but I always have some in the car.

Where is your mother right now? I assume she’s at home as she’s showing as online on Messenger.

What was the last thing to make you smile? Toby and Archie giving each other kisses lol.

Are you currently saving up for anything? Nothing specific, no - more just general “life” stuff.

What’s the view like from your bedroom window? Boring. It’s just the front street and the row of houses opposite.

Generally speaking, do you prefer sweet or savoury? Savoury.

What would you do if you got home and you saw your house had been destroyed? Panic? lol.

When did you last go outside, and what for? I went to fill my car up and grab an iced coffee.

Who is your favourite Sesame Street character? I never watched Sesame Street growing up really.

How often do you check your emails? Whenever I see that I have a new one.

Do you have any plans for this Thanksgiving? We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here.

What colour is your backpack? The bag I use the most is black.

Would you slap the last person you talked to for twenty dollars? Hahaha yes. 

What search engine do you usually use? Google.

How much did the shirt you’re wearing cost? About £4.

Patrick Stump or Pete Wentz? Neither.

Do you know anyone who gives way too many hugs? No.

What time do you usually wake up on Sundays? Around 8-9am.

Have you whispered today? No.

What grade did you get on the last test you took? Christ knows, I haven’t taken any kind of test in years.

[lgbtuan]

lockscreen // background // last song

(+ bonus: whatsapp background bc i don't see why not)

Tagged by: @bammiesmess 💞

Tagging: @dawnofus @jacksennn @atlasbeom @yeabeom @tenw1n @nctekken @jbbootiful

[eusuntgratie]

Nobody knows about Dylan's secret Instagram account. bilinski420 is anonymous with a generic Stiles headshot he found on his phone as its profile pic and a blank bio. He doodles around on Instagram, checking up on what everyone's doing, following a few fan pages, seeing what the latest rumours are, actively liking everything Taylor Swift has ever posted, and oh -

Well, there's Hoechlin.

For a man who doesn't post much content of himself, there sure is more than enough being posted about him. Dylan's feed is a mess of Swiftie conspiracy theories and his former co-star, in various states of undress and with various degrees of chest hair.

It's been ten years and Dylan still feels like that awkward nineteen year old who looked at Hoechlin and wanted.

He still wants, is the thing. A teenage crush it may have been, but it's matured like fine wine, into something shockingly undeniable.

He double taps another post to like it and scrolls down.

And nearly swallows his tongue.

He's used to Hoechlin's chest, the ridiculous muscles and the way they'd grease him up for Teen Wolf, but they'd always made him wax, at least until season four and they'd barely shared any scenes so it wasn't like Dylan had been able to just... perve on the scenery.

But this is a... gym selfie? A shirtless gym selfie. And indecently short shorts. Hoechlin's smiling like he's proud of himself, and damn right, he should be, because - guh.

Dylan doesn't reply to posts. He likes them and moves on. But. But - oh, what the hell, he's anonymous and he's only human.

bilinkski420 commented SIR.

He doesn't think anything more of it as he closes out of the app (not before screenshotting it, not that the fans will ever let that post disappear from memory). He gets off in the shower to thoughts of running fingers through coarse black chest hair, rubbing his cheek against wiry thighs and - and it's fine, it's fine. Maybe he needs to get laid, but it's fine.

He goes to bed, and really, that should be the end of it.

Spoiler alert: it's not.

His phone pings at some god awful hour which can only mean disaster. He groans and reaches for it and blinking bleary eyes tries to unlock it.

He has a WhatsApp message from Hoechlin.

Fuck. Okay, they do talk, but mostly in the group chat. Their last private conversation is dated three months ago.

Hoech: I saw you liked my post.

Dylan's stomach does something he didn't know it could do, sort of flips and sinks in on itself all at once.

He hates whoever came up with the idea for read receipts, and then sees Hoechlin's typing again.

Hoech: I liked the comment you left too.

Which - this has to be a cruel prank. Dylan stares at his phone. Then stares at it some more. Hoechlin is still online, waiting. Dylan doesn't dare tap out a single message.

An image comes through.

It's Hoechlin sprawled out on his bed, wearing nothing but his stupid I'm-very-manly-I-workout underwear, which just makes his thighs look obscene, actually, and Hoechlin's looking at the camera like he's looking into Dylan's soul and oh god.

Hoech: Yeah?

Dylan bites his bottom lip. Yeah, he types back hesitantly, and sends it.

A video call starts ringing through. He answers, still half asleep, adrenaline and excitement warring inside of him.

Hoechlin's face pops up at a slightly awkward angle and he's so him that Dylan can't help but smile. He's terrified, but Hoechlin puts him at ease. That smile. It could launch a thousand ships.

"Hey Dyl," Hoechlin says. "Sorry, I forgot it was early for you."

"It's okay," Dylan says. "How - how did you know?"

He needs to know. Hoechlin's beautiful and smart and funny, but he's not like, a detective, right? There's no way he could have known one anonymous account was Dylan.

"MTV never released the photo you're using as your profile pic. You asked for it. Said it made your nose look cute, which, it does. But it's not on Google. Everything's on Google, Dyl, but not that. It's okay," Hoechlin says, eyes scanning Dylan's face, looking for what? Hurt? Anger? Fear? "It's really okay. I'm not upset. Kinda flattered. Kinda wondering - been wondering for a while, actually. Whether you meant it. The likes, and then - well," Hoechlin chuckles. "Your comment. Felt kinda like maybe you had some feelings about the photo."

"I did, I mean, I do," Dylan says. "God, I do." He closes his eyes, and then opens them again. "If I was a fan, I'd be the kind of fan you should be crossing the street to avoid, and possibly calling the cops too. I'm pretty obsessed with you. Hoech, you're - you know. You have to know. Don't make me spell out how perfect you are this early in the morning. I'm compromised."

"I'm compromised too," Hoechlin says, and Dylan tries to breathe. It feels like his lungs are too tight. "Been trying to get you out of my head for years. Thought I could get it out of my system, but I can't. You're in there. Want to touch you. Just - think about it sometimes and don't know why we never tried that. Seems like we should have."

"You wanted that? Want that?" Dylan whispers. Hoechlin tilts his head. God, he's so perfect.

"Really do," Hoechlin replies.

"Fuck, you have no idea what you do to me," Dylan says. "How quick can you get on a plane?"

"Not quick enough, but I could make it work, if you wanted me to," Hoechlin says.

"Please," Dylan isn't above begging, so he begs.

"Please?" Hoechlin teases.

"Please, sir," Dylan says, and watches Hoechlin's eyes go dark even through the shitty resolution of the camera.

"I'll look at flights," Hoechlin says.

"Okay," Dylan says, disbelieving.

"Means I need to hang up the call now though," Hoechlin points out. He absently runs a hand up his chest and Dylan follows the movement.

"Is this real?" Dylan asks, and Hoechlin chuckles, face going all squinty and adorable.

"Yeah, baby, I think it is," Hoechlin says.

"You should go - flights, and that."

"See you soon," Hoechlin says, and the screen goes back to their conversation. Dylan, ridiculously, misses him.

Twenty minutes later, Hoechlin sends through a screenshot of a ticket confirmation. It leaves in an hour.

This is real.

Dylan can't quite believe it.

His phone shows a notification that Hoechlin has added a new Instagram story. He taps through to it.

It's just text, white on a blue background:

Ever think you're about to have a really good day?

Dylan smiles, and taps out a reply.

Yeah.

It gets marked as read.

(And yeah, he has a really, really good day.)

🥰😍🥰😍🥰😍

this is?!? So wonderful? The chest hair thirst? GYM SELFIE?!? THIGH THIRST? so much thirst but so sweet? Ahhhhhhhh

THANK YOU HOBRIEN ANON 💜💜💜

[lokiondisneyplus]

Sophia Di Martino was launched into the pop cultural consciousness thanks to her role as Sylvie – AKA the Loki variant on Marvel Disney Plus series Loki, where she trades barbs and shares background stories with Tom Hiddleston's God of Mischief.

Episode Three of the series found Loki on a wild adventure with Sylvie, after he accidentally sent them both to the doomed moon Lamentis-1, on a collision course with a planet. Facing an apocalypse, the pair hatches a plan to find the escape vessel that some of the moon's wealthier residents are hoping will carry them to safety and, while on the train to the ship, they discuss everything from the nature of love to their respective magical abilities.

When the opportunity arose to talk to her, we naturally jumped at it, so here is part of Chris Hewitt's conversation with Di Martino, who was frank and funny while chatting about getting the job, Loki's sexuality and more.

The last two weeks in particular must have been a heck of a whirlwind for you. What's it been like being at the centre of the storm?

It's been a strange one. Because I feel like I've been waiting in the wings for quite a while. And I haven't been able to talk to anyone about this until today. So, it's been a really strange few weeks, just watching the show start and listening to people's reactions, but not being able to talk about it. I don't feel like I've been in the centre of the storm at all. I feel like I've been watching it play out.

Have you been able to say anything to anybody, family friends... Postmen?

Absolutely no-one! My mum has no idea where I've been for the past two years. It's been really difficult. But to be honest, I'm actually really good at keeping secrets. So, I've perhaps been too good and haven't told anyone, anything. My agent, no one knows anything! I’m taking it really seriously, maybe a bit too seriously!

You and director Kate Herron have worked together in the past. Is that how it began for you?

Kate and I worked together on a short film of hers a few years ago now. And we stayed in touch, we're mates, we'll go out for coffee and do a bit of improv. We exist in the same circles in London. I'm trying to remember how exactly it happened. I was shooting another film in the UK, and I think I got a message from Kate saying, “I'm on this show, I'm not allowed to talk about what it is... There's a role, we'd like to see what you do with it. I can't tell you any more. Just wanted to give you the heads up...” A really vague WhatsApp message. So, then I got a request for a tape through my agent. But obviously, my agency also couldn't know anything about what was happening and what it was or anything. I was given a really short scene, made a tape of this scene and just had to guess what it was about. I think it was actually what ended up being the scene from Episode Three, which is Loki and Sylvie on the train. I think it ended up being that scene, but it was very different when I did the audition tape for it.

Did it have the word Loki in the script at any point?

No, no, no names! I think it was Bob and Sarah or something completely different. I didn't have a clue what it was.

I was really interested in how angry she is and how sort of laser-focused she is on this mission that she's given herself.

At what point did the penny drop? At what point did you realise that you were auditioning to play a Loki on Loki, and then this incredibly complex character?

I can't remember what happened first. It might have been the news that Kate was directing the new Loki came out. And then I was like, “Oh, maybe that's what I read for...” Or if it was that I was just offered the job, and they told me what it was. But yeah, it was a surprise. And I had a chat with Tom on FaceTime because he was in New York. I never actually met anyone because I was nine months pregnant, I couldn't fly anywhere. So, I was in London, everyone else is in the US. So, it was just that tape, it was all based on that. And obviously, I've worked with Kate before, so she knows that I'm not some weirdo. And she must’ve convinced them to cast me!

Let’s talk a little bit about Sylvie as we now know her. What's clear is that you're not doing a Tom Hiddleston impression. This is not your take on a Tom Hiddleston Loki, this is a very, very different iteration of their character. So where did you start?

Well, probably exactly there, making that decision that I didn't want to go in and do an impression of Tom, because that would have been awful. I'm really bad at impressions for a start! Sylvie’s very different to Loki in a lot of ways. There's the chaos and there's the mischievous, which are very, very Loki traits. But for me, I was really interested in how angry she is and how sort of laser-focused she is on this mission that she's given herself. And I think that plus the playfulness really helped me get into the character. And, and so that was the way I started.

The stunt training and the fight training really helped me with her physicality, and we were all really keen on her being a really strong, sort of street fighter, almost. She's not as elegant as Loki. She's fit and rough around the edges, she's had a harder time, in a way, she's been on the run for the majority of her life, getting into scraps. And I like the idea that she really enjoys fighting. And she'd really get something out of it. Because she knows that she's probably going to win. Right? And that's where her cockiness comes through, maybe. And so that was part of it as well. And then as soon as you put the costume on, you're there.

What was that like? Because the costume says so much as well. There's the headpiece, which obviously has a missing horn, which says a lot about the scrapes that she's gotten into in the past. And also says that this isn't the Loki we might be expecting.

We were really keen on making the costume look like it's been through the wringer a bit. And she's sort of gathered bits of it from places that she's been throughout her journey. We didn't want it to be too clean and shiny. And it was also important to me that it was a really comfortable costume and that I could actually fight in it, and I could kick in it and just do things that I needed to kick not have to worry about breaking it or being uncomfortable. And then Christine Wada, the costume designer, was amazing at just making it super comfy. But I still felt like a badass when I put it on.

The train scene has that wonderful moment where you’re talking about your romantic pasts, and Loki confirms that he is bisexual, which has been received rapturously since the episode came out. Did you get a sense of how momentous it was when you were filming it?

I knew how important it was, yeah. And I'm just so pleased that it's been received so well. And people are super happy to have seem that scene. And like I said, the show is inspired by the comics, and the comics for a long time have alluded to Loki being bisexual or pansexual. And his sexuality is not straight. And even back to Norse mythology. So, it was important to Kate, and it was also important to me and Tom, that this was represented in a six-hour story about that character. Because representation is important.

It's such a beautifully written scene. Can you just talk about your memories of filming those exchanges? Because we've only just met Sylvie, and we haven’t seen Loki consider the idea of love or falling in love or being frail or vulnerable in that way before.

It’s a super important scene. And it was interesting to shoot it because it's the first time that you see Sylvie vulnerable. And it's just a really important moment for the two of them to understand each other in a different way, and not just be miffed by each other for the first time. And when we were filming it, it is quite a long scene. And it just felt really good to do a long, talky scene. It didn't feel long when we were doing it. But it was nice to get into those characters, and it sort of felt like doing a play, when you go a bit deeper and it’s great. It's just another way of understanding the character that you're playing. And listening to Tom singing was also an experience! Didn’t he do such a good job of learning all those words? I was just amazed that he could learn a song in a different language. And he did it so quickly! Like, one day he got the words and the next day he was fluent in Norwegian! That’s Hiddleston, isn’t it? He’s just so smart!

[ishiplove]

Prompt: Candy/sweet-tooth @levihan-drabbles

Baking was his source of comfort. An activity he loved to do. Like a lot. Whisking the ingredients by hand. He could hear the clunking sounds clanging throughout the kitchen. Yes, he loved this. Levi had called Hange yesterday to come over.

“I’m making Halloween cookies tomorrow. You should come on over.” Only to yank his right hand out of reach as Hange started to scream. That high-pitched yell she does when something exciting happened. His right eardrum was ringing.

“Of course, I will come. I love baking with you.” Levi quirked a smile with that heartfelt statement. A sense of warmth flooded his chest.

“Mom, could I go to Levi’s house tomorrow? We’re making Halloween cookies.” He could hear Hange telling her mom in the background. Handed it to Hange to say yes without even asking her parents’ permission first. He expected it. Leaning back to the chair he was sitting, not mind waiting for Mrs. Zoe’s reply. He placed his phone on his study table and put it on speaker.

“Levi’s house? Sure, you could go.” A mature and energetic voice; sounded almost like Hange reverberated around his bedroom. He wondered whether that would be what Hange sounded like one day. When they would finally graduate and go to university.

“She said I could go.” Hange went back to her phone and told Levi the answer. Her voice vibrated through the speaker.

“Yeah, I know. I heard.”

“Do you want me to come with you? For a little shopping?” She sounded eager.

“Sure.

“Yayyyyy.” She squealed again. “I’ll be ready in ten.”

Grinning as he ended the call, he grunted as he stretched out his arms above his head. Feeling drowsy due to the drizzles outside his bedroom window. Might as well, he thought. They both needed to cheer up as the weather dampened their moods lately. A quick shopping trip to the supermarket would do the trick. He grabbed his phone and texted his mom on Whatsapp, telling her where he would be. Kuchel Ackerman was still at work, and she had given him some money last night.

Levi checked his wallet the umpteenth time to make sure he had enough. His mom did give him a list for the house too because the food supply in the kitchen was getting low. And he did get some income from his small baking business. Smiling, he thought they could go to their favorite fast food place too.

Hange came to the house a moment later and they both hopped on inside her car. She got her driver's license last year. They arrived at the nearest supermarket and grabbed their masks from the dashboard.

“Right,” said Levi. They had their own shopping cart. One for Levi’s house and the other for what they were going to make. He rolled the cart towards the poultry section and Hange followed him. “First on the list. Chicken.”

They made their rounds around the supermarket. And they grabbed what they needed from the lists. Only from time to time, to stop and ogled at the new items they had found. They were having fun especially Levi when they entered the aisle. Where the baking ingredients were to be. He took out his own list from his jacket’s pocket with a flourish. Hange’s jaw slacked a little. The list he wrote was like two papers long.

“Wow. Are we going to make that much?”

“I plan to.” Levi shrugged. “I wanted to try these recipes I found on Pinterest.” He showed her his Pinterest board.

“Ooh, this look yum. We could do that.” Hange nodded. An enthusiastic grin graced her face. After a quick meal in a fast-food restaurant, they headed home.

Levi decided they should make the easy kinds. That way, Hange could follow the instructions. Levi and Hange made batches of cookies and let them cool on the cooling racks. The most exciting part was the icing. Based on the recipes, they looked simple enough. They made pumpkins, bats, skulls, spider webs, and spooky trees. They were so cute, Hange could not help but steal one. She smeared her face in the process. The iced cookies were going to the fridge to chill. Supposed to.

He burst out laughing, pointing at her face. The confused look she had, made him double over with hysterics. Hange blinked at him.

“What?”

“Hahahahhaha, look at your face.” Still teary-eyed, Levi grabbed Hange’s arm and bring her to the living room. There was a small round-shaped mirror that had been drilled into the wall. Hange began to blush. Then, started to giggle. She looked at him in a playful sort of way.

“Don’t you dare.” Levi warned. Hange pretended not to hear. She smeared the leftover icing she got from her lips across his right cheek. Wide-eyed, Levi looked straight at the mirror. And there it was, a mix of orange and purple icing dragged across it.

To retaliate, he grabbed the back of her head and bring her closer to him. Feeling shocked at the sudden closeness, Hange tried to escape. But Levi would not let her. The way he looked at her made her stop wriggling. Levi’s gaze went down to her mouth, his tongue poking out to wet his lips. A gasp almost came out from her throat, Hange could feel the rising heat on her cheeks. Her eyes stared straight at his, expecting him to make the first move.

He grabbed her face with both of his hands and kissed her. The sweet icing still lingered on her lips and he licked them. And as quick as that, he retreated. Smirking at her red face, he held her left hand and pulled her to the kitchen.

“Come on. More work to do.” Hange stared at his back and she could see the tips of his ears gone crimson. She grinned despite feeling a little shy herself.

Blushing at the memory, Levi began to make his dough. He kneaded and rolled them till he felt tired. They baked more cookies until late in the evening. And Hange brought some of them home - in two plastic containers he let her borrow. None of them talked about the kissing incident. No matter, he thought. At least, their relationship was moving forward to something more. Shaking his head, he cursed himself to let his mind wander. But the embarrassed smile on his face proves otherwise.

[twh-news]

Loki: Sophia Di Martino Talks About Songs, Sexuality, Scoring The Role Of Sylvie And More

Sophia Di Martino was launched into the pop cultural consciousness thanks to her role as Sylvie – AKA the Loki variant on Marvel Disney Plus series Loki, where she trades barbs and shares background stories with Tom Hiddleston's God of Mischief.

Episode Three of the series found Loki on a wild adventure with Sylvie, after he accidentally sent them both to the doomed moon Lamentis-1, on a collision course with a planet. Facing an apocalypse, the pair hatches a plan to find the escape vessel that some of the moon's wealthier residents are hoping will carry them to safety and, while on the train to the ship, they discuss everything from the nature of love to their respective magical abilities.

When the opportunity arose to talk to her, we naturally jumped at it, so here is part of Chris Hewitt's conversation with Di Martino, who was frank and funny while chatting about getting the job, Loki's sexuality and more.

The last two weeks in particular must have been a heck of a whirlwind for you. What's it been like being at the centre of the storm?

It's been a strange one. Because I feel like I've been waiting in the wings for quite a while. And I haven't been able to talk to anyone about this until today. So, it's been a really strange few weeks, just watching the show start and listening to people's reactions, but not being able to talk about it. I don't feel like I've been in the centre of the storm at all. I feel like I've been watching it play out.

Have you been able to say anything to anybody, family friends... Postmen?

Absolutely no-one! My mum has no idea where I've been for the past two years. It's been really difficult. But to be honest, I'm actually really good at keeping secrets. So, I've perhaps been too good and haven't told anyone, anything. My agent, no one knows anything! I’m taking it really seriously, maybe a bit too seriously!

You and director Kate Herron have worked together in the past. Is that how it began for you?

Kate and I worked together on a short film of hers a few years ago now. And we stayed in touch, we're mates, we'll go out for coffee and do a bit of improv. We exist in the same circles in London. I'm trying to remember how exactly it happened. I was shooting another film in the UK, and I think I got a message from Kate saying, “I'm on this show, I'm not allowed to talk about what it is... There's a role, we'd like to see what you do with it. I can't tell you anymore. Just wanted to give you the heads up...” A really vague WhatsApp message. So, then I got a request for a tape through my agent. But obviously, my agency also couldn't know anything about what was happening and what it was or anything. I was given a really short scene, made a tape of this scene and just had to guess what it was about. I think it was actually what ended up being the scene from Episode Three, which is Loki and Sylvie on the train. I think it ended up being that scene, but it was very different when I did the audition tape for it.

Did it have the word Loki in the script at any point?

No, no, no names! I think it was Bob and Sarah or something completely different. I didn't have a clue what it was.

"I was really interested in how angry she is and how sort of laser-focused she is on this mission that she's given herself."

At what point did the penny drop? At what point did you realise that you were auditioning to play a Loki on Loki, and then this incredibly complex character?

I can't remember what happened first. It might have been the news that Kate was directing the new Loki came out. And then I was like, “Oh, maybe that's what I read for...” Or if it was that I was just offered the job, and they told me what it was. But yeah, it was a surprise. And I had a chat with Tom on FaceTime because he was in New York. I never actually met anyone because I was nine months pregnant, I couldn't fly anywhere. So, I was in London, everyone else is in the US. So, it was just that tape, it was all based on that. And obviously, I've worked with Kate before, so she knows that I'm not some weirdo. And she must’ve convinced them to cast me!

Let’s talk a little bit about Sylvie as we now know her. What's clear to me is that you're not doing a Tom Hiddleston impression. This is not your take on a Tom Hiddleston Loki, this is a very, very different iteration of their character. So where did you start?

Well, probably exactly there, making that decision that I didn't want to go in and do an impression of Tom, because that would have been awful. I'm really bad at impressions for a start! Sylvie’s very different to Loki in a lot of ways. There's the chaos and there's the mischievous, which are very, very Loki traits. But for me, I was really interested in how angry she is and how sort of laser-focused she is on this mission that she's given herself. And I think that plus the playfulness really helped me get into the character. And, and so that was the way I started.

The stunt training and the fight training really helped me with her physicality, and we were all really keen on her being a really strong, sort of street fighter, almost. She's not as elegant as Loki. She's fit and rough around the edges, she's had a harder time, in a way, she's been on the run for the majority of her life, getting into scraps. And I like the idea that she really enjoys fighting. And she'd really get something out of it. Because she knows that she's probably going to win. Right? And that's where her cockiness comes through, maybe. And so that was part of it as well. And then as soon as you put the costume on, you're there.

What was that like? Because the costume says so much as well. There's the headpiece, which obviously has a missing horn, which says a lot about the scrapes, that she's gotten into in the past. And also says that this isn't the Loki we might be expecting.

We were really keen on making the costume look like it's been through the wringer a bit. And she's sort of gathered bits of it from places that she's been throughout her journey. We didn't want it to be too clean and shiny. And it was also important to me that it was a really comfortable costume and that I could actually fight in it, and I could kick in it and just do things that I needed to kick not have to worry about breaking it or being uncomfortable. And then Christine Wada, the costume designer, was amazing at just making it super comfy. But I still felt like a badass when I put it on.

The train scene that wonderful moment were you’re talking about your romantic pasts, and Loki confirms that he is bisexual, which has been received rapturously since the episode came out. And it's such a huge moment and I know it was important to Kate, as well. What can you say about that? First of all, about filming that moment? Did you get a sense of its momentousness when you were filming it?

I knew how important it was, yeah. And I'm just so pleased that it's been received so well. And people are super happy to have seem that scene. And like I said, the show is inspired by the comics, and the comics for a long time have alluded to Loki being bisexual or pansexual. And his sexuality is not straight. And even back to Norse mythology. So, it was important to Kate, and it was also important to me and Tom, that this was represented in a six-hour story about that character. Because representation is important.

And it's such a beautifully written scene as well. Can you just talk about your memories of filming those exchanges? Not just seeing Tom singing in what I presume is Norwegian, and what that was like for you? But also, just that exchange about love and how important it is for these two characters. Because we've only just met Sylvie, of course. And we haven’t seen Loki consider the idea of love or falling in love or being frail or vulnerable in that way before. So, it seemed like a fairly important exchange...

It’s a super important scene. And it was interesting to shoot it because it's the first time that you see Sylvie vulnerable. And it's just a really important moment for the two of them to understand each other in a different way, and not just be miffed by each other for the first time. And when we were filming it, it is quite a long scene. And it just felt really good to do a long, talky scene. It didn't feel long when we were doing it. But it was nice to get into those characters, and it sort of felt like doing a play, when you go a bit deeper and it’s great. It's just another way of understanding the character that you're playing. And listening to Tom singing was also an experience! Didn’t he do such a good job of learning all those words? I was just amazed that he could learn a song in a different language. And he did it so quickly! Like, one day he got the words and the next day he was fluent in Norwegian! That’s Hiddleston, isn’t it? He’s just so smart!

[waitimcomingtoo]

But I choose to use that information for greater good and decided, after a couple weeks and a friendly pic w another friend later, to flirt with her... I did NOT know she was around 21-23, I thought she was like... 19 ish bc of the course retake, she's in yr 3 of 4 of my college course and she's retaking a yr 1 class... Anyways that's on me for assuming.

She has asked me out, continuously, yet I've turned her down bc she doesn't really know I'm still in the closet and she didn't know i was 17.

A couple of weeks ago I told her I'm 17 still and she went like "oh well, the right person will wait" and I'm like, that's such a frat boy move lmao

Anygays, we kept talking, saw each other at uni, she's posted these story indirects in her profile, and now I'm in the wallpaper of a windows XP while I'm waiting for my MacBook to arrive...

Which is another topic in where I don't wanna sound like the nastiest bitch alive but yeah... Please don't think I'm like, classist or something, BUT. We both have different cultural backgrounds, so, the way she "flirts" Through WhatsApp stories is cringey to me, and the way I'd like to tell her if she listens to, idk, girl in red would also be cringey to her... For context: we both live in a homophobic latin American country, hence why I prop don't make a lot of sense bc English is not my first language, sorry!

More context: legal age, for drinking and everything, is 18 here.

More context: sorry for infodump :/, I hope I am of entertainment to y'all 😂

2/2 - confused anon

Okay I read the last one before this one and I do not like this girl sorry 😬 if a man was doing that behavior it would eh a big red flag liek asking someone out more than once when they say no is a big ick to me and if she doesn’t care that you’re 17 that’s still kinda sus. But that’s just my opinion and what you chose to do is your choice. If she’s giving you the ick with her stories then maybe she isn’t the one 💜 thank you for the entertainment tho this was fun to read

[that-bajan-kid]

Boku No Hero Academia Chapter 292 SPOILERS

(Pogchamp)

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Imagine staying away from Tumblr, Instagram and Twitter to avoid spoilers, only to get spoiled by a fUCKING WHATSAPP GROUP CHAT I'M SO MAD RN

Y'all better believe I freaked out when I saw this. I've seen lots of theories about this too. Mostly traitor!Kirishima since Bakugou's doing his pose and the other two are posing like villains. Also fan art. So. Much. Fan art. Now on to the chapter.

We see Jeanist in the plane getting ready to jump out while the latest episode of Keeping Up With The Todorokis plays in the background and he's not too happy about Dabi using his and his family's trauma to destroy hero society. I get that Dabi shouldn't have exposed Endeavour in the most damaging way possible for everyone involved but in his defence 1) it's not his fault Enji was a peice of shit to his family and 2) Dabi's a Todoroki, being dramatic is ingrained in their DNA.

YAS JEANIST FUCK EM UP. Bakugou you really should not be standing right now, I can see the pain it's causing you all over your face. So was it really a dead body in that bag? And Dabi, didn't you also not believe it was actually Jeanist or did the months of him missing convince you it was actually him?

Dabi is glowing like the sun and smoking like a Colorado wild fire which can't possibly be healthy for him. Dabi is all "Whatever bitch, the Todoroki family drama is to strong to be defeated by mere steel wires. Right, Shouto?" as Todoroki charges towards his previously-thought-to-be-dead older brother with some fire of his own. Compress and Spinner are talking about how Jeanist actually managed to subdue Machia and Spinner is all "Doesn't Machia have super strength tho?" and I'm here sitting in my seat wondering if the anaesthetic finally kicked in as Jeanist tightens the wire around Machia.

Spinner realises that Machia has been panting ever since they arrive, aka when his orders were full filled. So now he's disparately trying to wake Shiggy up so he can give Machia a reason to stay awake but then a wild Nejire-chan appears out of no where and she looks fucking pissed the fuck off and I am here for it.

FOR FUCK SAKE DABI GOD DAMNIT FUCK

Istg if she's dead I'm gonna fucking riot. Man Shouto is not having a good time. Midoriya better has sit his ass down. The fuck are you gonna do? Cry at them?? You ain't got no arms bitch.

Oh look a new background for my phone.

(Edit: I like how the heat from his flames are warping the panels)

Izuku you are physically incapable of doing anything rn. Yeah Shouto is in pain but at least his bones weren't turn to liquid. Is Jeanist talking about Endeavour or himself? Cause Hawks is down for the count and I'd be pretty pissed if Hori let Enji keep his hero licence after this.

There was a house. I think it might have been Tenko's, I'm not sure. So anyway, Shiggy woke up and he's thinking to himself "Damn I'm itchy but I can't move. Lemme fix that." and then orders Machia to break free. So Machia is doing that and now Jeanist with his one (1) lung are having a hard time keeping up.

It's been like six months since I last visited duolingo but I'm pretty sure those sound effects say "Aaaaa" which I find hilarious. I also completely forgot this was happening. Is Shiggy calling back the NHE? Cause the others are fucked if that's what's happening.

I had the ending of this chapter spoiled for me so I already know who that is which sucks all the fun out of it but I'll act like I don't know who it is out of respect for their character.

Oh my god Burnin was save at the last second who could it possibly be????????

This panel looks really cool also Shouto's flames?

So Dabi and Shouto are battling it out final agnikai style and Shouto is all "So your the one who sent that villain to our house!!?! NATSUO ALMOST DIED YOU ASSHOLE!!! DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR FAVOURITE BROTHER?!!!!?!!!" And Dabi's stone cold response is "But Endeavour would have suffered" so Shouto has the natural response of "HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST YOUR MIND" to which Dabi responds with "YOUR GODDAMN RIGHT I DID." and how he no longer has the ability to care about anything anymore which is very sad but damnit this panel would look godly animated.

So Dabi is like "Now I can finally kill you" as he gets ready to kill Shouto and the NHE are showing up and Jeanist is completely out in the open now. Whatever shall happen now???? Oh dearist me. If only the heroes had another secret ace up their sleeve that was not in anyone's plans because of how unlikely it was to happen. I wonder.

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IT WHEN PAST TRAUMA AND CURRENT TRAUMA MIX IN THE MOST TOXIC, SELF DEPRICATING WAY POSSIBLE???? Izuku, who has done literally everything in his power to keep everyone from a groosome desintergrating demise, the one who is physically incapable of moving, is really sitting here calling himself a useless hero because his body's natural instinct to not die, which he still has apparently, is preventing him from floating head first into the arms of Death. BOI YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE CONCIOUS RIGHT NOW WHAT DO YOU MEAN!??!!?

I swear if these kids don't get some therapy after this.

Oh my god it's lemillion what a surprise. Also, did he really just say "Pogchamp" lmfao. I'm still salty about being spoiled but that was really funny. How long has he had his quirk back? We know Aizawa has been training Eri's quirk but when did she get enough control to be able to fix him? I'm so glad she can control her quirk now cause it means she won't be scare of accidentally uno reversing someone out of existence.

Still very disappointed the Mirio reveal was spoiled for me. Pogchamp was hilarious but still. I'm sure the official translation will have him saying something boring like "POWERRRRRRRRR". Sigh. Welp time to commit verbal assassination.

Until next time.

[bbykpoper]

𝓢𝓽𝓻𝓪𝔀𝓫𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂 🍓

Inspired by this post 🌼

Pairing: professor!jongho x student!reader

Index: Hongjoong // Seonghwa // San // Yunho // Wooyoung // Mingi // Yeosang

･*:༅｡

The early morning sun hit the windows of your small room just as the alarm on your phone buzzed underneath your pilow. A soft groan left your lips as you snaked an arm underneath it to turn of the annoying buzz.

“Wake up sleepy head.” The soft whisper reached your ears, making you stir under the covers. “You’ll be late to class.”

“I don’t wanna.” You mumbled out. 

“But you have to, otherwise I’ll throw you out of my lecture Miss y/l/n.” The soft voice chuckled and it was then that your eyes shot open and widened at the face in front of you.

“Welcome back to the world of the morning people Miss y/l/n.” The softest smile reached your eyes and you groaned into your arms as you looked over to your friends for help. “Come to my office after class.”

“Yes sir...” You huffed as he went on to continue his lecture.

“Why didn’t any of you kick me when I fell asleep?” Your soft whisper reached your seatmate.

“Sorry y/n, but you were sleeping so soundly I didn’t have the heart to.” She answered.

Lucy was the cute clueless blonde that ended up being friends with you after freshman orientation when she managed to trip over your foot on accident. She, just like you was a biology major and you guys were inseperable ever since. 

“I just really wanted to see you get embarrassed so I did nothing.” Your other seatmate snorted through her quiet laugh.

Phoebe was a girl who first befriended Lucy, also through an accident in the student cafeteria along the second semester of your first year. She was such a laid back brunette that you two naturally got along and stuck together in most of your classes.

“Wow, you just really like to watch me suffer don’t you?” You mumbled her way and breathed a sigh of relief as the lecture continued without another incident.

“I just find it amusing how you have this large ass crush on our ecology professor.” Phoebe commented, booping your nose as she picked up her books.

“Hey, Professor Choi is an attractive man. If I was straight I’d go after him too y/n!” Lucy added as comfort to you.

“Gee, thanks?” You laughed at these exchange. “I’m gonna go off now to get a lecture on my behavior and maybe later we can grab a coffee or something?” 

“Yeah, we’ll meet you at Sugarberry’s.” 

You made your way towards Professor Choi’s office, tightening the pony tail on your head and mentally preparing yourself to zone out on his speech and just admire the man’s beauty. Just as you were about to knock on the door, it suddenly opened and a young man smiled at you, excusing himself and leaving. You shamelessly stared after the tall blond man, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding as the shape of his backside came into full view when he readjusted his shirt.

“Miss y/l/n.” The stern voice of your professor drew your eyes to him only to notice how he was now standing right in front of you. “Please take a seat.”

He moved and you shuffled inside taking a seat in front of his desk. 

“How have you been Miss y/l/n?” He asked.

“Good.” You said. 

“Have you been getting enough sleep?” He chuckled when you blushed intensly.

“Sorry about that sir, I had a project due yesterday and haven’t exactly had time to sleep.” You admited with a really strong blush on your cheeks.

“Well Miss y/l/n, I would’ve liked it better if you listened to my lectures instead of sleeping in the middle of it.” He said looking over at his window. 

You being the curious little thing that you are peeked over to see the array of plants which were situated in his window, especially the one he was looking at.

“Are you growing a fennel in your office?” You giggled out loud when you noticed how his eyes widened in embarrassement.

“You know your way around plants?” 

“Yes, I am planning on working in the greenhouses when I get my degree. I really do like plants and growing them.” Your eyes lit up with love as you spoke about your dream. “Even back in my appartement, I basically grow anything and everything I can and get on my roommates nerves because some of the devil ivy reached the bathroom.”

You stopped yourself when you saw how the man in front of you watched you with so much softness and awe in his eyes that the blush which reached your cheeks, spread out to your ears, burning them in the process.

“Would you be interested to join me on a little excursion this Saturday?” He suddenly asked you. 

“An... excursion...?” You tilted your head and you suddenly spoke out. “As in a date?!”

“Oh God no!” He was really quick to deny that and it hurt you a little bit seeing him so quick to say no. “You are one of my best students, and I would like for you to join a small group of my top proteges this Saturday. We’ll be visiting the National Greenhouse and I think it would be a wonderful chance for you all.”

“Oh, I see.” You said, feeling the humiliation crawling up your neck. “Silly me.”

“Would you like to join?”

“Yeah, sure.” You slumped your shoulders. 

“Perfect.” He clapped his hands together in joy. “If you don’t mind I’d like to get your number so that I can add you to our whatsapp group.”

“Yeah, neat.” You took his phone and begrugdingly typed your number. “Is there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?”

“No, that would be all.” He smiled, looking at his phone. “See you on Saturday.”

･*:༅｡

“So what, now you’re going to this outing or whatever it is with like five other students and him?” Phoebe asked clearly pissed off. 

“Yep.” Is all that you could muster.

“But at least you have his number.” Lucy tried to lift your mood.

“But what does that even mean? Nothing.” Phoebe groaned. “She likes him for almost two years, is obvious around him as if she’s carrying a transparent that says ‘marry me’ and the only thing he does is allude to a date but end it as a social gathering for his proteges?” Her eye-roll didn’t go unnoticed. “A bunch of bull if you ask me.”

“Or maybe he is in a position in which he can’t openly ask you out.” A sudden intrusion of another voice made the girls look up and see the waitress come over with their order. “Men are dumb creatures and sometimes they simply need a push when it comes to feelings. My advice to you is to just simply tell him that you’ve liked him for so long and just see where it goes from there.”

“But what if he doesn’t like me back? What if this strains any type of relationship I have with him?” You asked the waitress in the cute and fluffy pink apron. 

“Then at least you’ll know what you’re dealing with and will finally get the chance to move on.” She shrugged her shoulders and thanked them for the money they left her for the drinks, walking back to the inside of the shop.

“You know, that girl actually gives good advice.” Lucy commented.

“Must be nice being in a healthy relationship.” Phoebe muttered out watching the girl inside the shop as she smiled politely to some other customers.

･*:༅｡

Saturday had come by faster than you had liked and you dreaded to leave the appartment. The greenhouse group had decided to meet up at the bus station 12 p.m. sharp and from there professor Choi will drive you guys down to the greenhouse and the tour will begin. 

And right now, it was 11.30 a.m. Your friends were over and had forced you to wear one of your many long dresses to fit in with the flowers you would see in the greenhouse. It was a soft green dress with a pattern of leaves spread out across it. You sighed for the umptenth time as Lucy had braided your hair in a loose fish braid and looked over at Phoebe who was admiring your roommates ability to ignore all the plants inside here.

“It will never stop to amaze me how you put up with all these plants Mina.” She said.

“It’s not that bad.” She smiled. “I have actually grown fond of them. And y/n takes real good care of them so I don’t mind them.” She laughed. “Plus they are a really good background for photos.”

Mina was a photography major who you shared your dorm with in your second year. You two bonded quickly and when you managed to finish the second year, decided that it’d be great to have your own appartment together. And here you were one year later. 

“How are you feeling?” Lucy asked you.

“Nervous. Meh. Disappointed.” You stated turning towards her. “I’ve decided to listen to the advice the waitress at Sugarberry’s had told me. I mean honestly, what could go wrong?”

“The rest of the semester will be pretty awkward if you ask me.” Phoebe nodded her head.

“Like it isn’t now?” You snorted. “I’m just getting tired of having dreamy eyes for my damned professor and being treated like a project for him.”

“A project?” Both Mina and Lucy asked.

“Well this is that isn’t it? His empowering our future or what not. I appreciate the fact that this will help me get my dream job but I literally can’t take this anymore.” You slumped down into the couch.

“Well you better because you have less than ten minutes to get downstairs and to the station.” Mina pointed on the clock and you groaned grabbing your bag and stomping outside of the front door.

“Oh dear, I hope it all goes well.” Lucy commented looking at the other two girls.

Honda Hitomi, Danny Wellbridge, Jackson Wang, Joana Clark. The rest of your outing group was already gathered at the bus station located in front of your appartment complex. You had joined them all just a few minutes before professor Choi pulled up with his car. Joana was the first to call shotgun and sat next to him, while the rest of you evenly pilled in the back. Danny and Jackson in the far back, you and Hitomi in the middle.

“Oh gosh I’m so excited to see all the insects there!” Hitomi squealed in joy. 

“I know what you mean.” Danny added from the back.

“I’m just happy about the plants. I heard they’ve updated their western exhibition and added some new types.” Jackson said.

“Really?” You turned to face him. You’ve seen Jackson around campus a few times before. He was the definition of a social butterfly and sometimes even hanged with Phoebe. But you never got the chance to personally get to know him before this trip. “Do you think there would be some rare types of flowers there too?”

“I don’t know. But it would be awesome.” Jackson said matching your enthusiasm. “Hey, you maybe wanna go together to look around?”

The conversation you two were having was caught by professor Choi and he observed you through the rear view mirror, a prominent scowl on his face.

“Hell yeah!” You nodded with a bright smile.

It wasn’t long before you all made it to the National Greenhouse and were at the entrance waiting for your guide. You evaded talking to professor Choi, directing your full attention to what Jackson was talking about, fearing that if you did speak with him now you’ll loose all your courage to confess later on.

“Students, this is Jeong Yunho. He’s an old college buddy that’s in charge of the Japanese garden in the back and he’ll be our guide today.” Professor Choi spoke up cathing all of yours attention.

“Please call me Yunho.” The man with the pale blue hair smiled at you all and waved. “I’ll give you the main tour and then I’ll let you wonder about on your own. I feel that that way you all will go where your interests pull you.”

The tour was wonderful and you and Jackson managed to bond over every neat little plant you could find. Hitomi and Danny gushed so much when you guys ran accross a caterpillar and you then commented on something stupid drawing Hitomi in and befriending her quickly. The tour had come to an end when you reached the center of the greenhouse area and Yunho turned to them all.

“You are free to go off now, but I’d like it if you went in pairs as to not getting lost. These place is large and it’s quite easy to turn the wrong corner.” He said nodding to professor Choi. “The greenhouse closes at 7 p.m. Have fun. I need to get back to work.”

“Thank you.” You all said in union.

“So, where do you want to go first?” Jackson asked as Danny and Hitomi scurried off towards the insect exhibition. 

“How about visiting the South European-” 

“Mister Wang you should go with Miss Clarck. Your interests seem to be the same and it would be best that way.” Professor Choi cut you off.

“But me and y/n agreed to go together...” Jackson stated.

“Yes, but this is a better suited pair.” He said with a cold smile which made Jackson look at you for help. “Shall we Miss y/l/n?”

This was your chance!

“Sure.” You nodded and looked at Jackson. “I’ll make this up to another day.” You added apologetically and went off after professor Choi.

“So where are we headed?” You asked him.

“A surprise.” He winked at you and it made you blush.

On the way to this ‘surprise’ you have left the greenhouse and moved on to more of a garden scape further back and it just made your heart stop at the beauty of it.

“The interesting fact about the National Greenhouse is that the Botanical Gardens are just a bit behind them, and this is in fact where Yunho works.” Professor Choi stopped and placed a hand on your shoulder pointing in one direction. “See, he’s right over there working on a bonsai tree.”

All the blood rushed up to your ears at the close proximity between you two. The whisper of words made your stomach churn and your legs weak. You needed to get this crush off of your chest soon, otherwise you’ll be stuck fawning over him forever. 

As he guided you towards a small garden a flower caught your eye and you stopped getting a closer look.

“A youtan poluo.” You breathed out in a whisper. “And jade vines.”

“That’s right.” He smiled at your shinning eyes. “Welcome to the rare flower exhibit.” He chuckled. “Surprise.”

You looked around and noticed many more which you’ve only seen in books and on the internet. It was a magnificent sight to see and just the aromas which surrounded you had your head doing summersaults.

“I overheard you and Jackson talking in the back while getting here and I remembered Yunho telling me how they’ve updated their rare flower collection, so I thought you’d be happy if I brought you here.” You looked over at this man and his shy sunshine smile. And you’ve decided. It was now or never. “I was right wasn’t I?”

“I like you.” You stated, looking right at his eyes. Professor Choi looked dumbfounded an at a loss for words. The fast blinks were matching his rapid heartbeat but he was unable to form any words. “I’ve liked you for well over two years now professor. All those times you showed sympathy to me and ignored the fact I fell asleep in your class, or those times you would shyly smile when you noticed I was staring at you regardless of where we were. I know you figured this out already. But I just had to tell you.”

“I like you professor Choi Jongho.”

You looked at him with hope in your eyes as he stood there processing this information you had thrown at him. It felt like the minutes were going by in an eternal stupor of movements, his facial expressions changing as he came in terms with what just happened. You were scared, shaking and nervous. You really didn’t know what to expect. But surely you were not ready to get rejected.

“y/n...” 

It was clear by the tone with which he said your name and the tears welled up in your eyes. Gosh, you were dumb weren’t you.

“Yeah, I figured.” You stated with a sad smile on your face. “It’s okay. I don’t expect anything from you. I was dumb to even say these things to you.” You sighed and gripped your dress for support. “I think it’s better if I go home now. Thank you for bringing me here today and showing me these flowers.” The tears were now feely falling from your eyes, you unable to control them. “It really did make me happy.”

You ran off without stopping. Not when he called after you. Not when you viciously passed by a worried Jackson. Not even stopping to look at the bus number that had just stopped and getting on it. You cried in the back, not caring about all the stares you were getting from the old ladies. 

It hurt. Your heart really hurt.

By some dumb luck you had actually gotten on the right bus and made it back to your appartment complex, you made your way to your appartment and to your room, ignoring the worried roommate who was more than ready to throw hands with a grown ass man. You crawled into your bed, disregarded your plants and just wallowed in your self pitty for the rest of the week.

･*:༅｡

It’s been a whole week and you haven’t left your room except to shower ever since. Jackson and Hitomi had been blowing up your phone, worried after you had just ran out without a word. But you turned off your phone after the fifth call request from Jongho. He had tried calling you that night but you had fallen asleep and the next day when he did call you you cried more getting an earful from Phoebe. 

Hell, you dreaded leaving your room just because you knew Phoebe would make you attend all your classes and yell at you for being M.I.A. for a whole week. 

“She still hasn’t come out of her room?” Lucy asked Phoebe as they both collected their things to leave class. 

“No. Mina leaves food out the door and y/n eats once a day just so she doesn’t die.” Phoebe sighed. “She even neglects her plants Lucy! She never does that. Not even when her grandma died.”

The two were just about to walk out of class when somebody approached them. Lucy’s eyes went wide while Phoebe took on the stance of a dog with rabies. It was apparent he wasn’t welcome.

“Hello girls.” Professor Choi spoke up. 

“No offense, but we don’t want to talk to you sir.” Phoebe grumbled out.

“I know, but please hear me out.” He sighed in defeat. The two looked between each other and Lucy urged Phoebe to let the man talk. “I didn’t get the chance to answer y/n properly and she hasn’t been to my class this week. I’d like for you two to help me so I could talk to her and clear up this missunderstanding.”

“What missunderstanding? Her feelings aren’t a missunderstanding. They’re valid and came from the heart!” Lucy was quick to say.

“I know. But my answer was a missunderstanding.” He said sincerely.

Phoebe caught on pretty quickly by what he meant and narrowed her eyes while she got up in his face. She pointed her insex finger in his chest and harshly jabbed at it.

“I got my eye on you buckeroo.” She stated threateningly. “I know how to hide a dead body.”

Jongho gulpped as he, for the first time, took notice of those fierce eyes this girl had. He nodded furiously, almost cracking his neck. Phoebe pulled back and headed for the door, followed by a confused Lucy. Even Jongho looked defeated as he assumed they were leaving.

“Well? Do you want to talk to her or not?” 

Mina stared at the plate full of food which she had left this morning. It was late afternoon now and she had just come back from her lectures but the plate was untouched. You haven’t left your room at all. 

“y/n.” She whispered out as she knocked on your door. “You need to eat. I don’t want you getting sick...”

No answer. Just like before. She sighed and cast down her eyes as she picked up the tray. A sudden knock on the front door drew her attention and she went to open it, revealing Phoebe and Lucy with an unexpected addition.

“Her room is the one in the corner of the living room.” Phoebe said as Jongho took of his shoes. “He needs to talk with her and I thought you might want to hang with us while he does.”

Mina looked up at the man and nodded, understanding the need for privacy.

“If you manage to get in can you make her eat? She barely had a proper meal this week...” She handed him the tray of food.

“I’ll make sure.”

They left and Jongho went over to your door, noticing how it hand a small potted plant hanging off it. It was cute, something which really suited you. He knocked a few times but there was no answer. With a brave heart and hope that you hadn’t locked you door he tried the knob, happy when it opened. 

The inside of your room was covered in darkness, streetlights seeping in through the large windows. Potted plants were in the window and Jongho noticed how they seemed to be lacking water. He took it upon himself to relive the plants of their thirst, leaving the tray of food on your desk. 

“Go away Mina. I don’t want to eat.” The bundle of sheets spoke and caught his attention. 

It seemed you had made yourself into a taco, some hair sticking out to indicate where your head was. He sat down next to you and placed his large hand on your head.

“Your roommate left a while ago.” He spoke up, catching you off guard. “Before you yell at anybody, I asked your friends to bring me over so that I can talk to you. And I’d like it if you listened to me first before throwing me out.”

Your body stiffened but you kept quiet. You were yet again on the verge of crying but were trying really hard to control yourself.

“I was surprised back at the botanical garden when you confessed your feelings for me. A lot of emotions went through my head and I was dumbfounded for any type of answer at first. I thought how it was wrong for one of my students to fall in love with me, how I should have stopped this crush you had the minute I caught on it... but I just couldn’t do that. I noticed you the first day you had walked into my class, the way your hair swayed with every small movement of your head, how you would soak up every bit of information I gave you like a sponge, even the way you’d chew your nails when stressed.” He sighed when he noticed you calming down and peeked out the covers. “I have liked you since day one y/n. But I though it was wrong and I couldn’t bring you in a situation where you would be involved with your professor.” He chuckled. “To be honest, I would have confessed when you graduated.”

“Really?” You crawled out from underneath the sheets.

“Really.” He nodded with a smile.

“But what does this mean for us now?” You asked, sitting up and letting the covers reveal you whole.

It was only then that Jongho noticed how your hair covered your bare shoulder. The tanktop you were weating hugged your body closely and the booty shorts did not help his eyes to not wander down your bare legs. 

“We can try to make this work. You only have one more year ahead of you. As long as we don’t make it obvious I’m sure we’ll survive.” He stated a deep blush covering his cheeks.

“Are you sure?” You asked with a furrowed brow not understanding why he was suddenly so flustered. But then you noticed how his eyes wandered down your body and suddenly you got self concious. “Are you sure that it won’t be-” You pinned him down onto your bed, stradling his waist. “-troublesome for you?”

Jongho gulped and you brought your face closer. It was too cute not to tease him seeing how he got so flustered he began fumbling with his words.

“It may be troublesome if another man come up to you but I think I can handle him.” He said, his face suddenly turning serious. With as much as little effort he flipped you over, so now the positions were reversed. “Just as I can handle you.”

You held your gazes steadily as he lowered his face, mere inches from your lips. But nothing lasts forever. Especially when you don’t eat properly for a week.

Your stomach grumbled loudly and you blushed at the sound. You were hungry, and he knew it. He laughed and pulled you up, bringing over the plate of food Mina had left him.

“I think that it’s best you eat first. And then we’ll figure something out.” 

You nodded shyly as you ate slowly, enjoying the comfort he gave you with his caring nature.

･*:༅｡

The early morning sun hit the windows of your small room just as the alarm on your phone buzzed underneath your pilow. A soft groan left your lips as you snaked an arm underneath it to turn of the annoying buzz.

“Wake up sleepy head.” The soft whisper reached your ears, making you stir under the covers. “You’ll be late to class.”

“I don’t wanna.” You mumbled out.

Jongho chuckled as he climbed into bed with you, messing up the sheets even more. He peppered your face with kisses as giggles left your mouth and you finally cracked open one eye to look at him. 

“Did you water the plants?” You asked him, noticing how he had some dirt on his cheek.

“Yeah. Mina asked me to model for her for her graduation project just as I was doing it.” He said, wiggling under the covers so he could hug you. “She wants to portray love.”

“Yeah, she told me last night that she was inspired by us while we were planting strawberries on the balcony.” You reached out to kiss him. “I told her I’d do it, but that she should ask you too.”

“Well good because I answered yes.” He smirked kissing you back. “I’m glad you confessed when you did. Because otherwise I couldn’t be apart of something so wholesome.” He smiled wide. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You answered matching his smile. “I’m just glad I listened to that waitress’ advice. Because you really wouldn’t have been a part of something so wholesome!”

[horrorboydyke]

Hi!! could you write a fic about when Kieu My send the text saying she was always thinking about Fatou? Thank you!!!

Hi anon!! ask and you shall receive! (read on ao3)

Kieu My tugs her phone out of her pocket for the 10th time in the last few minutes she’s been sitting across from Zoe, homework spread out beneath them on the coffee table and Zoe’s laptop playing some random sit-com in the background for white noise, both girls distracted and not even focusing on their work anymore. Zoe nurses a hot cup of tea in her hand and is rapidly texting someone with her other hand if Kieu My knows Zoe like the back of her hand then she knew that Finn was on the other side of that conversation.

When Kieu My opens her phone the Whatsapp unread message notifications taunted her immediately, begging her to click on them and she gives in, rolling her eyes at the stupid turtle gif Ismail sent her, the messages from Constantin asking her for her undivided attention to help him with his homework and the random group chat notifications.

“All good?” Zoe asks without taking her eyes away from her phone where she’s obviously texting Finn considering her eyes are glued to the screen, Kieu My snaps her head up and rolls her eyes at Zoe’s attempt to be interested in whatever is happening outside her world of sending disgustingly lovely messages to her boyfriend but Kieu My nods her head anyways, not wanting to get into what’s getting her down, finding it too trivial but simultaneously too complex to even try explaining it to Zoe.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” She replies and when she thinks Zoe is satisfied with her answer, turns her eyes back to her phone, her finger hovering over her conversation thread with Fatou. Her eyes flickering up briefly to Zoe before looking back at her phone and tapping on to their conversation.

“Or at all? ” she types and hits send, continuing her question about when they were going to meet for the project. She breathes out as the two tick marks turn blue indicating that Fatou as seen her message. Her fingers again hover over the keyboard and she feels ridiculous, she doesn’t know how this one girl has made her so flustered and they don’t even speak anymore and the last time they did, Kieu My was pretty sure Fatou could glare holes into the side of her head.

She quickly shuts off her phone as Zoe starts talking about something Finn told her but Kieu My can’t seem to focus, her eyes keep falling back to her phone wondering if Fatou had messaged her back. She laughs and awws at the right moments when Zoe is talking and after what feels like hours, she turns her phone back on and feels her heart jump into her throat when she seeing the typing bubble in her and Fatou’s chat, it disappears and comes back a few times before it stops showing up.

“Somehow I’m thinking about you all the time,” Kieu My types out and sends before she even knows what she is doing and it’s not like it’s not true but she hadn’t been meaning to be so obvious about her feelings for Fatou, but again, the ticks turn blue but the typing bubble doesn’t appear.

Kieu My goes to type again, to apologise, that she didn’t mean to say that but she stops herself because she did mean to say that, she knows that Fatou wants clarity and Kieu My knows that she hasn’t been very clear lately so she leaves it and shuts off her phone. She doesn’t know if that was the best choice, to leave the message there and not apologise, for her to leave her feelings out in the open like that.

She adverts her eyes to look at the now slightly crumpled pieces of paper that she’s been leaning her elbows on. She picks up a page of assignment instructions and reads half of it before putting it back down to look at Zoe, a pencil hanging out of the corner of her mouth and huffing a laugh through her nose at something the person she’s texting said.

“I told you that Fatou and I are project partners right?” Kieu My asks, twirling a piece of hair around her finger, her socked feet drawing patterns on the rug on the floor as she watches Zoe who practically has to pry her eyes off her screen and spitting out the pencil from her mouth.

“Yeah, you mentioned it, why?” Zoe questions, her eyebrows creased, wondering why Kieu My had brought it up.

“I just feel really bad. I totally disregarded the kiss on new years eye and didn’t even defend her when Constantin was being an asshole and now I put my hand up to be her project partner even when I know she doesn’t want to speak to me. She unmatched me on tinder,” Kieu My says sadly.

“I know that you like her and everything but I feel like if she doesn’t want to speak to you then maybe you should give her some space and time? Just until you know that she doesn’t want to gut you,” Zoe says empathetically and Kieu My nods her head.

“I think the only problem I’m gonna have is that I don’t think Sir is going to let us change partners since I know that Fatou’s grades aren’t the best,” Kieu My says with a sigh and Zoe nods her head.

“Make the best out of this situation I guess?” Zoe says with a shrug and turns her eyes back to her phone and Kieu My huffs in frustration.

“I also kinda sent her a text about how I couldn’t stop thinking about her,” Kieu My says quickly and blushes when Zoe stares at her with raised eyebrows.

“Oh shit okay, so it’s like that then is it?” Zoe asks and Kieu My shrugs her shoulders, feeling embarrassed about admitting that to Zoe.

“Should I send her another cat gif?” Kieu My asks after a moment of silence and grabs her phone off the table.

“Absolutely not,” Zoe says and quickly snatches Kieu My’s phone out of her hands and laughs when Kieu My frowns.

“Give her some space,” Zoe says and Kieu My nods her head knowing that as soon as Zoe gives her the phone back she’ll probably send Fatou another dumb cat gif.

[frywen-bumbles]

The Way to a Man's Heart Goes Through His... Cat? Ch1

Fandoms: The Witcher

Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg

Word count:  1545

Chapters: 1/? 

More tags in AO3

***

DAY 1: Jaskier meets the biggest and meanest cat he's ever seen

Jaskier looks at the house and checks he has the right number again before approaching. The house is nice, not as nice as some of the others he has been in, but a regular two-storey house in a nice neighbourhood. Nothing remarkable which makes the secrecy of the gig more baffling.

Some people liked their privacy Jaskier guesses as he tries to spot a flowerpot without looking too suspicious. The flowers have almost wilted but Jaskier doesn't reserve them a second glance as he fishes out the spare key under the pot.

He checks the notes from the owner again from his phone.

<Use what you need in the kitchen. Clean sheets on the bed. No guests, second floor off-limits.>

<Roach hates people>

He could deal with cats who hate people. Animals love him, he just has to be patient and offer peace and love. And food. Food is very important.

He opens the door carefully, not sure if Roach is the type of a cat to try to squeeze her way to freedom every chance possible. He slips through, his bag in front of his leg to protect his pants in an event of a clawed attacker but, to his relief, there is no cat in sight.

He leaves his shoes and bag at the entryway and makes his way to inspect the house. The ground floor consists mostly of an open plan kitchen and living room, the backdoor in the kitchen leading into a small yard.

The living room looks like it's from a magazine, only the small decorative items usually on display are stuffed haphazardly in a cabinet, and by the looks of it, forgotten there. But what draws Jaskier's attention isn't the fine furniture. No, it's the gigantic cat tree in front of the window facing to the street. Jaskier eyes the cat tree warily. Either the owner is very enthusiastic about their cat (Jaskier has seen those, usually ladies in their middle ages or older) or the cat is a giant. No normal cat requires a cat tree that large.

He ventures further into the house, phone in hand and selects his best friends number.

"Hi, Essi, it's me. I arrived safely, there are no axe murders in sight. Yet."

"One of the days there will be and then I can tell you I told you so," Essi's voice is amused despite her admonishing words but she turns serious as Jaskier walks up the stairs, trying to find the bedroom, "You need to call me every day. If you won't I'll come storming over with Priscilla and that won't end pretty."

"Yeah, yeah, Little Eye. I got this, don't worry." The first floor seems as devoid of a cat as the ground floor. There are three doors Jaskier guesses lead to two bedrooms and a bathroom. All doors are ajar so he peeks through the first. A study. A boring one at that. Bookshelves line all the walls, and two decent sized monitors sit on the desk. No laptop.

It doesn't surprise him, the owner said he had to leave for work for at least two months. But why did it have to be so boring?

He glances at the bookshelves expecting to find more boring stuff.

What he finds are two enormous golden eyes staring down at him.

He would deny shrieking like a little child to his dying day.

"Jaskier?! Julek?! Are you okay?! What is it?" Essi screams at him.

"Fuck, fuck, cock, bloody Melitele, fuck, that is the biggest fucking cat I have ever seen, is that even a fucking cat, what the fuck?"

"Jaskier what the fuck? You can't just scare me like that, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"That thing is not a cat. No cat is that big. Nope. Exotic pets weren't in the deal I'm not having this, no."

The long-haired tabby stares at him and waves it's tail in irritation, hitting it against the bookshelf with a series of thuds.  

"Um, yeah... goooood kitty, I'll just... go..." Jaskier runs from the room all while listening to the wheezing laughter of Essi from the other end of the line.

"Are you sure it's not a Maine Coon or something?" Essi laughs.

"Do you think I haven't seen Maine Coons? That cat is a monster!" Jaskier hisses while keeping a keen eye on the door of the study.

"You know for a fact there are monsters in the world and you're scared of a little cat? Sure, catboy. Have fun with your monster cat."

The cat (Roach, Jaskier's brain helpfully supplies) walks out of the study and stares at him unimpressed. Now, on a reasonable height, it clearly is just a very large cat. Sure, it's by far the biggest cat Jaskier has ever seen, but a normal longhaired cat none the less.

"Please, don't tell Pricilla about this," Jaskier beggs as he eyes the cat and blinks slowly in hopes of gaining the enormous cat's trust.

"Yeah, of course, I won't, why would I do that?"

"You're telling her as soon as this call ends aren't you?"

"Oh, don't worry about it, I already texted her," Essi mocks him gleefully.

"Traitor!" Jaskier hisses.

"Love you too! Call me tomorrow!"

"I will," Jaskier admits defeated, "bye."

He stuffs his phone in his pocket and looks at Roach, "I guess it's just you and me then, girl."

Roach screams at him.

"Umm, yeah, you're going to have to be a bit more specific than that."

Roach screams again.

"You could meow like a normal cat, you know?"

Jaskier has never seen a cat look as unimpressed with him as Roach is at the moment. She gives him a wide berth as she heads for the stairs to the second floor. And screams.

"Sorry, that's off-limits for me, you're on your own." Roach looks him up and down before she heads upstairs. He can hear her digging around and meowing pitifully. Something crashes to the floor.

Still, off-limits, he reminds himself and turns to investigate the rest of the house. Bathroom, bedroom. Both void of any personal belongings.

It's all fairly boring, all personality stripped, no pictures in sight. There's a sort of detachment to the whole thing Jaskier finds unsettling.

He steps to the back yard, making sure that firstly the door is unlocked and secondly Roach is nowhere in sight. He looks up after closing the door and blinks in surprise.

The whole yard is one giant catio, reaching all the way to the first-floor windows. The windows are connected with planks, leading to a wooden ladder. In the yard is a small vegetable garden and a shack Jaskier guesses contain the gardening tools.

"Well then... I guess I don't have to worry about leaving the back door open." He eyes the garden again and makes a vow to try to remember water the vegetables. He's not sure he'll succeed.

By dinnertime, Jaskier has settled down, unpacked his belongings in the bedroom and claimed a space on the desk in the study. He's putting his shopping away in the fridge (where all he found was cheap beer and snacks clearly meant for a child, thanks for the hospitality) when a demanding meow sounds from the other side of the kitchen.

"Oh, hello Roach. Is it time for your dinner?"

Another meow.

Roach walks in front of a cabinet and screams, as demanding as before.

"Is that where your food is? I'll be right with you, sweetie, just wait a moment..."

Another scream.

"Yeah, yeah..." Jaskier mutters as he tries to find some logic to where everything is in the kitchen. Like it was organised by some crazy witch who never cooked other than their evil potions.

A loud metallic bang makes Jaskier jump in the air and hit his head on a cabinet door.

"Roach?! What the fuck was that?" He looks at the cat who sits next to her empty bowl which sits upside down on the floor, a good half a metre from her tray.

Meow.

"Yeah, okay, food! You'll eat me soon if I don't feed you..." he mumbles and goes digging the cabinet Roach pointed to him.

Roach trills and screams and attacks the cup as soon as Jaskier puts it on the floor. Roach doesn't eat, she just keeps her head in her bowl and stares at Jaskier, a low growl rising from her throat.

"Right, of course, I can't watch you eat. Don't worry, I don't want to steal your food." Jaskier takes a step back. Roach eyes him warily, but apparently, he's far enough she starts to eat her food, selecting carefully the tastiest bits first.

Jaskier digs his phone from his pocket and snaps a selfie of himself, Roach happily munching away in the background. Or so he thought, as soon as he looks at the picture more closely he can see the cat staring at him like it wants to eat him instead.

He picks up the right conversation in WhatsApp and hits send before he turns back to Roach.

"You know, you have to start to trust me soon, I have to brush you so you don't get tangles and mats in that gorgeous hair of yours."

Roach doesn't look impressed.

[the-fiction-witch]

Note To Self

REAL LIFE: SCANDAL COUPLE: TBS XREADER RATING: FLIRTY AF

"Goodbye now one and unwelcome to this Good content" Y/n smiled from the sofa

"What are you doing?" Thomas asked

"Its not Opposite day... you Very attractive mouse like creature"

"what are you trying to say?"

"I wanted to call you an ugly rat But I don't know what the opposite of a rat is"

"I worry about you. when I'm not around"

"I'm not dumb!"

"Yeah, sure your not"

"God damn it Thomas be nice or get out of my house!"

"You just called me a rat!"

"You look like a rat"

"Why do I look like a rat?"

"The thing your growing on your face"

"Will you get over it? I have a reason to keep it right now so I can't get rid of it. for work" He says

"I know. and I hate it so very much. The second your allowed to shave again I am going to wax that off your face"

"Is there a point to this video? Or is this just lets be mean to Thomas episode six?"

"Ohh Thomas, Please" she says "Every video is lets be mean to Thomas, My Carrer is built on being mean to you"

"What are we doing y/n?" He asks

"We are going though what the other googles and writes down on our phones and note book when its late at night" she smiled

"we are?" he asks a little panicked

"Yes we are Thomas"

"Ooohh... so what I write and look up on my phone at like two am when I can't sleep?"

"Yes"

"......... But its not safe for work?" He whispered

"we'll skip the porn Thomas" she whispered back

"It's not the porn I'm worried about"

"what else do you look up at three am?"

"That's between me and Steve"

"Wh- Who's Steve Thomas?"

"My phone" He says

"wait... so when you first set up your phone it asks you to name it right?" "Yeah"

"and you took that as not to call it I don't know, Thomas' phone, TBS personal or anything like that you thought they actually meant give it a name?"

"Yes I did, His name is Steve. and he helps me work out maths, and also shop for things I don't need"

"Like that Egg timer you have in your kitchen"

"My egg timer is awesome I don't know what your taking about"

"Thomas. You are a man in your thirties. You do not need an egg timer that looks like the death star"

"... Yes I do"

"God damn it Thomas!" she sighed "I swear to god your five."

"People have been informing me I look five for many years"

"Yes but you also act it."

"If I'm five I have a lot of weapons in my house... also all the porn"

"well done Thomas. Just tell the world you have porn"

"Ohh no... Sally darling. Cut that please"

"Gimme Steve," she says stealing his phone so she handed him hers

"Can I talk about how your background is just you with your bunnies?"

"You may, but then I may discuss how yours is just a picture of a cool beach you found." she laughs "Fun fact Thomas sends me very random WhatsApp messages, usualy pictures of just... stuff"

"Its normally landscapes when I'm working" "and hotel rooms, But to be fair I like seeing them"

"You just send me pictures of cute dogs?"

"I do, If I see a cute dog on the streets I usual ask if I can pet them and if I can then I pet them and send Thomas a pic of the cute dog I found"

"I'm always a little worried of someone questioning us about that. Like why do you have like sixty strangers dog's photographed on your phone?" He laughs "Because I don't have an answer that sounds not weird"

"Thomas? why did you just send jack a picture of toast?"

"He asked what I as doing and at the time I was eating toast"

"So you just send him a picture with the caption. Toast"

"You send me random porn gif's sometimes... just like at five am I'll get like a gif of like I don't know a girl riding some dude reverse cowgirl, with just like no context not even a hello first"

"Do you then used them to jerk off?"

".... None of your business" he answered "It's a little ... like when in bed with your girlfriend"

"Just, Ohh what's that honey, Ohh yeah just my friend sending me a gif of hardcore porn"

"exactly, like its fine please don't question it. also please don't get mad"

"Wasn't I like the main reason you and your ex broke up?"

"It wasn't the main reason, but... it contributed yes"

"she didn't like me"

"No she hated you"

"She asked you to move in with her didn't she?"

"She did, but we hadn't been dating that long and I found out later the only reason she wanted me to move in with her was so I would move away from you"

"she was a bitch"

"she was... terrible boobs also"

"What makes a bad boob Thomas?"

"not fun to play with. at least from a man perspective. Also... she had a daughter so they uhh yeah"

"anyway! you google a lot of like urban dictionary?"

"I do, Because my friend's say things in text that... I don't understand. and I have to look up"

"You are so old"

"I am" He sighs "You mostly google like map stuff. Like food..." he laughs "You must be the only person I know who sorts the food to nearest to me Ooohh I didn't know there was a Chinese that close to our house?"

"Yes, its like behind us and around a corner"

"Oooohh can we get chinese food?"

"Yes we can"

"woo!"

"what is self note?" she asked

"Its where you can record yourself like a mini voice recording of a note for yourself and you can make it remind you later" He explained

"Ooohh, You have alot of random notes"

"I do, mostly for things like go get shopping or do luandry"

"what's this one from... two am last week?" she asks

"Ohh don't-" He began but she had already clicked it

"Note to self... google if that thing is real... where you can get a couple of ribs removed... so you can suck your own di-" The phone said in clearly thomas' voice before y/n stopped it

"Thomas?" she asks

"Don't ever take my phone again" He warns stealing it from her and running off somewhere else in her house

"why did you need to look that up?" she laughs getting up to follow him

"Well you're not gonna do it" he answers from elsewhere

"You are such a baby" she laughs "I'll do it, you just have to tell me when you want it"