#also I say boy as if we aren't the same age but whatever

[softquietsteadylove]

I really like the Thenamesh Actor prompts so I have a request!

Gil always makes sure that Thena is comfortable in interviews . So what if on their new movie both of them and Eros are in a interview and throughout Eros, out of jealousy and frustration of their incredible chemistry (and because he can’t get closer to Thena) he says something humiliating disguised as jokes about Gil. Gil being polite just laughs about it but Thena can clearly see how uncomfortable his jokes/humiliations makes him and how awfully quiet he slowly gets and Thena (you know the goddes of war clearly) protects him!

"Gil!" Thena chastised, although she was laughing a bit hard for it to sound like she meant it. "Stop it!"

The whole panel had been like this. They were doing one of the first interviews with all of them assembled as a cast, but Gil and Thena had been thus far dominating the interview. It wasn't odd - they were technically the leads of the film - but it was hard to get answers between their whispering things to each other and joking and laughing.

Eros couldn't get a word in edgewise.

"What?" Gil chuckled along with her, nudging her next to him. "It's true! I was a huge fan of yours before we met!"

"Speak for yourself," she smiled at him, leaning her head against her hand. "I've stated plenty of times that I've seen a good number of your films."

"Have you seen all of them?"

"I think it would be quite impossible to see all of them," she shook her head, pulling her attention back to the audience of press interviewing them. "But I was shown some of his early work and I suppose I was hooked from there."

"Likewise," Gil jumped in next, wiggling his thumb between them, although it brushed against her forearm, their chairs being so close that their armrests were actually touching. "I've always thought about what it might be like to work with her."

"Eros, this is actually your first time working with both of them, isn't it?"

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled, sitting forward in his seat, finally with some opportunity to speak. "I've never worked with Gil before, and I've only ever worked on the same project as Thena once or twice. I've never had the immense privilege to work opposite her."

The audience was obliging in his flattery. Eros looked down the long table's white cloth, only to find he wasn't actually being listened to--at least not by a certain leading lady.

Gil was listening, looking down the line at Eros. But from his viewpoint, Eros could see very clearly, that Thena wasn't looking at him. She was looking at Gilgamesh.

Eros cleared his throat, "he really is great to work with, stunt-wise."

Gil waved off Eros' kindness with a bashful smile, toying with his microphone in his hands. Thena poked him, urging him to accept the well-deserved compliment. He caught her poking index finger with his pinky. "I'm not union or anything. But I've been doing my own stunts long enough that I guess I like to offer my advice when I can."

"Right, I heard about a rather nasty spill," Eros tilted his head down at the older actor. "You know, there's no shame in needing a double as time goes on."

He said it lightly--with enough of a laugh in his voice for it to appear friendly. The audience chuckled obligingly.

Thena was not laughing. "That was a very serious incident."

Gil caught onto the tone in her voice immediately and smiled, "i-it wasn't that bad, really-"

"And it was an equipment malfunction," she added with even more of a bite to it. The tone in the room shifted quickly, of course at Thena's protest and not at the original joke cracked at Gil's expense. But she glared at the head of the table. "Gil does his own stunts when it makes more sense to for the filming process. He's just that sweet and considerate of people."

"Of course!" the original asker of the question jumped in, hoping to save the atmosphere of the interview as a whole. "His fans were quite distressed to learn of his injury."

"Not your first, right?" Eros asked, his thin veil of asking out of kindness growing thinner and thinner.

"Well, yeah, it happens," Gil shrugged, either not catching onto Eros' attacks or choosing to let them roll off him. "Can't always avoid little accidents here and there. The fans who have followed my career know this is far from my first set injury, and far from the worst, too."

"I've heard about them," Thena added vaguely, always vigilant about not giving the press too much exposure to Sprite. "And he's always back to work as soon as possible--far too dedicated to his work."

Gil was immediately looking at Thena again, smiling and chatting with her as if they were the only ones in the room (and just happened to be holding microphones). "As if she didn't learn flawless Russian for her summer action blockbuster from a few years ago?"

"Gil," she gave him that little headshake again, like a wife scolding her husband for embarrassing her.

"I mean flawless," Gil insisted, though, grinning as the praise for her spewed from him like a fountain. "I'm no expert, but I've seen accent coaches and other actors react to it, and they all say it's perfect--just like her."

The audience gasped and 'ooh'ed and giggled like children.

Thena blushed, "far too sweet."

"I remember that film, it was," Eros paused, leaning over further to give Thena a look that she was sure his hordes of fangirls loved. He raised a brow at her, "magnificent."

"Thena, have you followed any of Eros' work?"

"I can't say I have," she answered a little too quickly and eagerly.

"Well, you have a younger sister, right? What about-"

"No," she snapped, and was joined by Gil in glaring at the interviewer who either hadn't been informed that she didn't answer questions about her sister or had ignored it.

Eros ran a hand through his very famous hair, leaning back in his chair.

"But," Thena smiled again, her eyes drifting beside her (what a surprise). "She is a fan of Gil's."

[saeist]

SAEIST WE NEED AN AFTER ARGUMENT FLUFF FROM OUR LOVER SAE

you and sae rarely argued.

obviously there were a few misunderstandings here and there but given that you two were adults, misunderstandings would often be patched up by the end of the day as communication is something sae values a lot especially with how most of the time, you two are in a long distance relationship with his profession and all.

sae would rather have things said right on the dot than to beat around the bush

however, communicating with the soccer super star sometimes isn't enough. especially when his stubbornness kicks in. when times are in drastic measures and you two are not on the same boat even after talking it out rationally, sometimes all hell breaks loose.

all because sae has a bad habit of ignoring you when your little misunderstanding that turns into a full blown argument that blows out of proportion.

it's very on brand of him to do so if you say so yourself.

one could say it's a force of habit given this is the treatment he gives his own manager when things aren't going the way he envisions it. but some could also say that sae is just a blatant asshole for acting like this at his grown ass age

now you might be wondering, what could you two argue about that ended up with sae ignoring you? well it's because sae can't just bite back his own tongue

you were telling him that he should take it a little slow with his trainings because intense trainings usually bring home an irritated sae that would quite literally berate everything he sees including inanimate objects such as your shared pet cactus

and sae being sae, he most likely have said some not very nice things that may have escalated into whatever predicament you two are in right now instead of compromising and working things out like you two normally would

hours have passed and it's just been silence in your shared apartment. if you listened closely you could probably hear a pin drop with how eerie quiet it was

you've already grown past the issue. in retrospect it was kinda nonsensical now that you were off the intense emotional high. now that you think about it, the whole thing that went between you and sae just sounded stupid

amidst these past few hours, sae would occassionally come out of his office to get himself a glass of water to drink or some shit from the pantry. literally anything he can get his hands on in the kitchen where he needs to pass by the living room where you were currently in

you can feel his gaze boring holes onto the back of your head whenever he was at the kitchen for like 10 seconds. you know that he was itching to talk things out with you but you know better that his pride was on the line

talk about egotistical, right?

it was dinner time when sae breaks. he honestly looks and sounds like a stray cat who just got drenched in the rain and needed to take refuge in your care

"sorry" sae murmurs, looking up from his plate to give you the look of defeat evident in his eyes

sae was sure for a while that you would be the first one to break the ice in this little cold war you two currently have going on. boy, was he wrong.

you thought it'd be time for sae to have a taste of his own medicine for a change. how it would feel to be the receiving end of his silent treatment

noticing that you weren't saying anything and continued munching on your food, he initially thought you didn't hear him clearly. so he clears his throat in attempt to catch your attention.

"i said i'm sorry" he coughs, putting down his fork as he waits for you to lift your head up to look at him in the eye while he was talking to you

silence.

sae's eyes widened. usually you'd accept his apology right away. you can't resist him, and neither can he resist you so what's with the sudden switch?

he waits a little more in case you were just busy digesting your food properly but a beat of silence passes by and you were now getting up from the table to put your dishes on the sink.

"y/n" he calls out, running after you to the kitchen. you barely even spare him a glance, maneuvering your way around him to get to the kitchen sink so you could start washing your plate

sae debates with himself if he were to call your name again but quickly realizes that you aren't going to respond any time soon. he sighs, dropping his head. looks like he just lost in his own game

instead, he gets this idea to just follow you around like a lost puppy.

to be frank, you were lowkey enjoying tormenting sae like this. it was too good to be true that he would be the one to grovel and get on his knees to beg for your attention. the way he is literally attached to your hip as you carry on with your daily night routine which should've included doing the dishes together, cleaning up together and his favorite part of the night– doing skincare together

but alas, why isn't it the consequences of sae's actions.

you two were already in bed at this point but still, you have not uttered a word to sae, who was right next to you, eyes glued to your figure, watching you like a hawk.

sae couldn't take it anymore. he doesn't want to end the day like this where you two aren't talking. it was already a hassle for him that you two didn't talk at all for the rest of the day.

not that he's gonna admit it but he misses you. he misses the way you would talk til his ears fall off. he misses your daily reports to him about whatever you did throughout the day when he was out in training. he misses the laughter in the air as you come up with a (not so) funny joke,

sae just misses you. he's not used to your silence and it's killing him

swallowing his pride, sae slowly takes it upon himself to wrap his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest

"look, i shouldn't have yelled at you like that earlier. you were just looking out for me and i've been a little preoccupied with trainings that it's getting to me. i'm sorry for being an asshole recently" sae sincerely apologizes, a hand carefully reaching to caress your cheeks

with a smile, you finally look up at sae, "took you long enough" you tease, poking his nose

sae releases the air he was holding in, now that you were finally talking to him again

"never put me through that ever again. i'd rather walk through a thousand needles than you ignoring me" sae nags, wrapping his arms around you tighter.

"now you know how i feel when you ignore me!" you retaliate, snuggling closer to him

sae suddenly kisses the side of your face. "i mean what i said though, i'm sorry for saying all those words. i know that you're just looking out for me. let me make it up to you, y/n"

you look up at him, shaking your head

"no, i totally understand that you have to go to trainings. it's fine, sae. just ease up on trainings so i don't have to worry too much for your well being. can't have my super star all worn up" you joke, nudging him in the slightest

sae smiles. what did he ever do to deserve you

"whatever. i'm still gonna make it up to you for always dealing with me"

"if it's you sae, i don't mind dealing with you at all"

[erosmutt]

/ thinkin' bout﹒☆

﹒brothers! scott & sam + teacher reader﹒⌅

𖦹 age gap (sam and scott are 18, reader is in her 30s), mida rana!reader, sub scott and sam

"you two have repeatedly gotten yourselves into trouble. acting out, being caught with drugs and alcohol, skipping class. what do you two have to say for yourselves, hm?"

the two students - Sam and his brother Scott - stand before you in your classroom. you had called them after school, at precisely 5 o'clock, knowing no one would be around. "i should send you to the Dean tomorrow, shouldn't i?"

the two immediately perk up, but Scott was more in a panic than his brother. "no! no, Miss, please! if he finds out, i could get kicked off the football team!" he pleads, tugging at the hem of his sweater anxiously. you look over at Sam and raise an eyebrow. he just looks away, shoving his hands into his pockets, making the chains on his shorts jingle. he gives you a shrug. "whatever, i don't care. tell him."

this sends his brother into a worse panic. so, you intervene.

"how about this, boys," you begin, getting up out of your chair. your heels click against the floor, making Scott step back. "i'll let you two off the hook, if, you come to tutoring sessions after school." that earns you a groan from Sam and a whine from Scott. "no." they say at the same time.

"oh, but yes! or would you rather i tell the dean about your little escapades during passing periods?"

Scott, desperate to save his ass, nods his head frantically. "yes! yes, fine! we could start now if you want! just please don't tell!" you smile and reach up, gently pinching his rosy cheek between your thumb and forefinger. "good boy! you're setting an example for your brother, aren't you?" he nods, looking down at you. "mhm, example."

Sam rolls his eyes and looks at you and his brother. "you're such a fucking pushover." he tells Scott, drawing a scoff from him. "no i'm not!" you just smile, gently stroking Scott's bicep, tracing the contours of his muscle with your fingertips. "well Sam?"

he sighs heavily, then rubs his hand over his face. "fuck it, fine."

The next day, you and Scott were sitting across from each other in the classroom. you thought it'd be nice to arrange the desk a different way and sit at one with him to make it more comfortable, and to not make him feel as if he was getting talked at, but mentored 1-on-1. also to lull him into a false sense of security.

"i think Sam flaked, Miss." he murmurs, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. you lift your leg, resting your foot on the chair between Scott's legs, teasing his crotch with the toe of your black pump. he shifts in his seat, and just as he opens his mouth to speak, the classroom door swings open. it slams against the wall then closes as Sam walks in. he slides into the desk next to you.

"sorry," he murmurs. you give him a smile. "no worries Sam, your brother and i were just chatting." he shrugs and pulls his notebook out of his bag, slapping it onto the desk. meanwhile, Scott was biting his lip as you rubbed your foot over his now half-hard cock.

Sam opens his notebook to a clean page, clicking open his pen. he titles his paper, completely oblivious to what was happening to his brother underneath the desks.

[joels-shitty-puns]

Could I make a request please?

Either a Joel or Pedro x Reader, where he is head over heels for the reader who is really bubbly and sweet and happy and a mom friend for everyone but who is oblivious to any romantic overtures whatsoever? And where Joel or Pedro catch them crying for the first time ever and they try and hide it and go back to cooking for the friend group or whatever and Joel/Pedro get the reader to open up about what made them cry and essentially it's that someone turned them down on a dating app and it's just further confirmation that the reader will never find love or actually be a mom? Plus-sized reader preferred but definitely not required? And your choice on if it's smutty or not.

I've been reading your plus sized reader x Pedro series and loving it!!! So much emotion and genuine positivity that I couldn't help but ask for more when I felt a bit down about this today.

All my best!

Dear @jenniferpendragon,

Hi!!! I've never had a request before, I didn't know what to do with myself. Thank you. And thank you so much for your kind words about my musician fic! I'm so glad people like it.

I'm sorry you were feeling down today. If by "this" you mean you experienced the dating app situation, I'm so sorry. Love is out there for you. I know how hard it is to wait, feeling like nobody wants you, but I know it'll happen. Hang in there. ❤️

I hope you like this fic! I liked your prompt and my mind ran wild. It's way longer than I thought it would be and also I'm unsure about it, but hopefully it makes you feel a little better.

___________

Cookies 'n Scream

Pairing: No-Outbreak!Joel Miller x Plus-sized!Reader

Word count: 4.3k

Warnings: 18+ ONLY!! MDNI. Poor body image, fat shaming, food guilt, food mentions, unprotected P in V, oral, kissing, fingering, pregnancy mention, baby making sex (?), I think that's all of it but if I missed something let me know.

Other stuff: Reader is AFAB. In case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

This is the first smut I've ever written and published, yikes. Hope it's decent.

__________

"Look what I bought today," you chimed in a sing-song voice while waving the DVD in front of Joel. 

"No way. Zombie Slayer 6?!" Joel and Tommy yelled in unison.

"Yep! You know it!" you beamed. "I say tonight we pop this bad boy in. Tomorrow's Halloween, it's perfect."

"YES!" chimed in Sarah and Ellie, Joel's daughter and adopted daughter, roughly the same ages in their early teens.

"Absolutely not! You two are too young for this gore, you'll be up for weeks." Maria pointedly gave an eyebrow to her husband Tommy. "You guys watch the movie, I'll take the kids and we have a girl's night. We can watch Practical Magic and make cookies. Then tomorrow we'll all go trick-or-treating." The girls were pleased with this compromise and began running up to their bedrooms, chatting frantically about their costumes and which houses were allegedly going to have full-size candy bars this year.

"Really? Zombie movies? They're just kids. They aren't old enough to deal with that kind of thing," Maria said to you, judging your lack of parenting skills.

"Sorry…" you said sheepishly.

Truthfully, Halloween was your favorite holiday and always has been. You loved the spooky aspect of it, but you also loved that you could be anyone you wanted, if only for a night. For once you weren't just "the fat girl" or whatever other mean things people thought about you. You could be Wonder-Woman, or Ariel, the Grim Reaper, or a ghost. You could even eat all the sugary snacks you wanted and nobody questioned it, because Halloween was a time to indulge in candy.

If there's one thing you're sad you didn't get to enjoy on Halloween, it was the thought of being with someone you love. You'd always wanted someone to dress up in a couples costume together. Or go to a pumpkin patch for a cute little date and pick pumpkins together. You'd even dreamed about someday having a little pumpkin of your own. Picking out a little baby costume, taking them out door to door while they tried to say "trick or treat" but didn't quite know how to say such big words yet. The thought of them getting spooked by a scary decoration and running back to their daddy's arms. Your handsome brave husband, holding them close and shushing them, rubbing their little back to make it all okay. Finally the three of you would go home, tuck the little one in, sort through the candy and maybe take some for the parent tax. Then you'd flop down on the bed together before sharing a different kind of treat.

Knocking you out of your daydream, the girls ran down the stairs, backpacks on their backs, still loudly chatting about Halloween. You sighed, Maria taking the kids out towards her house.

Tommy clapped his hands together excitedly and grabbed his phone and keys. "I'm picking us up a pizza. You two better not start this damn movie without me," he warned, gesturing with his fingers from his eyes to yours and then across to his brother's before ducking out the door. You laughed and headed towards the kitchen, starting to make a quick batch of cookies before Tommy returned. Joel stood awkwardly trying to help, but mainly was just sneaking bites of dough. "Knock it off Joel! There won't be any cookies left with you around." You elbowed him while he popped another glob into his mouth with a laugh.

You rolled your eyes while he argued with you. "Whatever. My brother doesn't need these cookies anyway. He doesn't deserve your bakin', darlin'." He ate more dough.

You couldn't help but feel your chest flutter with butterflies at his nickname, but you tried to ignore them. "Oh yeah, and what about me?" You pouted up at him. "Don't I deserve any cookies?" 

He put his finger on his lip as if deep in thought. "Hmmm… I dunno darlin'. Not sure if I could handle you if you get much sweeter." He winked.

"But I guess you deserve some too.." he plopped a wad of dough into your mouth, running his finger on your lip as he pulled his hand away. 

You smiled, cheeks feeling warm, and chewing the soft, sugary dough.

"Oh, Joel. You're too much.." you avoided his eyes, looking down at the mixer and pretending to be busy with the cookies. 

Why can't I get a man like Joel? You thought to yourself.

Two years ago, you had moved into your new house and met your neighbors, Tommy and Maria, Maria still very pregnant at the time. The three of you became fast friends and it wasn't long before you met Tommy's brother Joel. You were instantly enamored with him. His curly brown hair, mixed with silvery gray streaks, and those deep, gorgeous chocolate brown eyes. Although he could be a grump at times, it was mainly with his brother or his job, and he never showed it towards you. To you he was as sweet as the cookies you were eating.

You instantly developed a little crush on him and it seemed like he was over at his brother's house, or yours, more often than not. The two of you spent time together alone as well, watching movies, talking, doing whatever. Things felt so simple with him, and you knew he would always be there if you needed help with anything. With him, you never felt fat. You never felt ugly. You didn't feel self-conscious. You were just you. He was just him. 

As your friendship progressed, your crush developed quickly into love. But you knew deep down there was no way he could ever feel the same. He was too handsome and charming to ever go for a woman like you, so you pushed down your feelings as best as you could, and even tried some dating apps to try and find someone else to fill the empty space in your heart.

What you didn't know was that Joel was absolutely head-over-heels, smitten with you, from the moment he laid eyes on you at his brother's backyard barbecue. Sure he loved his brother, but nobody wants to spend that much time at their sibling's house. He came over constantly, hoping to see you, until eventually you became close enough that he didn't have to make a scene at his brother's house to get your attention. He could just go to yours. 

Tommy constantly teased him about it, and Maria couldn't help but notice the way you looked at Joel either. Even the kids could tell. The girls loved you like a mother, though you'd never see it. It seemed that it was obvious to everyone but you and him. Joel would flirt, try to gently touch you, be sweet, but you never picked up on it. Although you never pushed away his attempts, you never seemed to reciprocate either, so Joel just figured you didn't like him that way. But he couldn't help flirting, touching, staring at you. And if you didn't protest, he didn't plan to stop. He couldn't if he tried.

While the two of you talked, the cookies, what was left of them, baked in the oven. Finally Tommy came in, two large pizzas in hand. "Now I better not see that movie playing! I warned you two."

He noticed the black television screen and wandered to the kitchen. "Good. You waited for me- oh man! You made cookies? My favorite," he said with grabby hands towards the first pan, still cooling on the stove. 

"Now, don't spoil your dinner. You just brought pizza home, let's eat." You shot a knowing look with Joel after the two of you were practically full already with cookie dough.

"Fine. Whatever, mom." Tommy took a plate from you, sliding a piece of pizza onto his plate and heading towards the couch.

_____ 

An hour into the movie, you were all full with pizza and dessert, Tommy in the sofa chair on the side, you and Joel settled into the love seat. You leaned towards his right side, his right arm over the back of your seat. A blanket covered the two of you, and his left hand was crossed over his lap on top of the blanket, hoping you would hold it if you got scared. Whenever a jump scare did happen, you didn't grab for him, but at the slightest flinch, he would palm your knee, rubbing his thumb over you to calm you down. Such a nice guy. I'm so lucky to have him as my friend.

Once when Joel did this, Tommy caught the sight out of the corner of his vision. He rolled his eyes and gave a gagging face. Joel gave him a quick angry brother stare that made Tommy turn back toward the film.

At some point, you felt your pocket buzz. Peering under the blanket at your screen, you saw the little heart notification, letting you know it was one of the dating apps you downloaded. Heart beating faster, you excused yourself saying you wanted to get a drink. Upon entering the kitchen, you quickly opened the notification with shaky hands. You had sent out at least a half dozen matches to people, all turned down the second they saw your profile. The most recent had sent a message as well. "Seriously? Ur gross. Good luck finding anyone to date you lmao." Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked down at your body and pinched the fat of your stomach. You had four apps and had sent countless requests, matches, and swipes. Even guys who were big themselves had turned you down. You looked in the kitchen at the pile of cookies, the mostly empty pizza boxes, the bowl of Halloween candy. If the boys weren't here, you'd toss it all in the trash. You suddenly felt self-conscious. Your clothes were tight, your body was heavy and flabby, and you almost felt nauseous. The first sting of tears welled at your eyes, and you dashed off to your bedroom, hoping to quell these emotions before anyone would notice. You weren't ready to go back to the living room.

After a couple minutes, Joel had paused the TV to wait for your return. "She probably had to pee or something. Said she was gettin' a drink." Tommy nodded and the two of them talked. After about ten minutes had passed, Joel began to worry. Even Tommy began to wonder and finally said "where'd your girlfriend end up? It's been a while."

Joel shook his head at Tommy's name for you, but got up off the couch. "I'll go see what's up." He walked into the kitchen and didn't see you, so he kept walking through the house before finally starting upstairs. "Darlin'? You okay?" He still didn't see you, but upon approaching your bedroom door, he heard a soft sniffle.

He gently tapped on the door with his index finger's knuckle. "Sweetheart?" Your sniffling stopped and you quickly wiped your eyes, trying to hide your tears as he slowly opened the door.

"Hey, sorry, I didn't mean to make you guys wait, I was just changing into some comfier clothes." He noticed you had switched from your favorite dress to some sweats and a baggy hoodie. You still looked beautiful to him, though he was a bit confused at the change. "I'll be right down, why don't you go start the movie again." He crossed the room to sit next to you on the bed. "I'm not going to start the movie. What's wrong, darlin'?" 

You pouted, trying to choke back more tears, but his gentle brown eyes made it hard to keep your emotions inside. Joel cupped your cheek, running his thumb gently under your eyes and catching a tear that made it past your walls. You'd never cried in front of Joel before. You made it a goal of yours to try and hide any sad emotions from people, especially him.

"I don't want to ruin the night, Joel. It's nothing. Let's just go back downstairs. I'll be right behind you."

Joel stood up and nodded his head, walking out the door and closing it gently behind him. 

You didn't think he'd actually leave. But it shouldn't surprise you. Who wouldn't leave you?

An aggressive sob ripped through your chest.

_____

Joel walked downstairs, joining his brother.

"You find her?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah I did. Look, she's not feeling too good right now. I think it's best we call it a night."

"Ah, man. She sick or somethin'?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah somethin' like that. I'll stay and take care of her. Can you maybe keep the kids tonight?" Joel answered, ushering Tommy out the door. Tommy gave him a look, but nodded and walked out the door towards his own house.

Joel closed the door behind him and walked back upstairs, stopping to grab a glass of water for you on the way. He knocked gently again before entering your bedroom, and you turned around, surprised to see him. "Joel? I thought you were watching the movie?"

"Nah, darlin' I could never leave you when you're upset. I sent Tommy home and he's gonna watch the girls tonight. Here, I brought you some water." He sat the water on the nightstand. "Now, you wanna tell me why you're cryin'?" He sat next to you, rubbing your back gently.

You took a sip of the water, set it back down on the nightstand, and sighed, looking down at your hands in your lap which held your cell phone.

"Well, I uh…" you cleared your throat gently. "I recently joined some dating apps..."

Joel's heart took a slight stab, but he pushed it down. You're the one needing comfort, not him.

"I guess, I dunno… I know it's kinda silly, but I've been feeling kinda lonely and y'know... I'm getting older. I'm running out of time to have babies. But, I really just want someone to call mine. Someone to laugh with and go on dates with and…" you tapered off, not wanting to admit your desire for cuddles, kisses, and love-making. 

"Oh, sweet girl," he held you in his arms. "That's nothing to feel shy or silly about. It's natural to want those things. But why are you cryin'? Did somethin' happen?"

"I just… I haven't gotten any matches. Everyone I've sent anything to has denied me, and-" you sniffled and Joel pulled you tighter. "Shh, shh, sweet girl, it's okay. Those people on those apps, they don't know what they're missin' out on. They don't see how beautiful and sweet y'are. They wouldn't know how to treat you right anyway. If they can't see how wonderful you are, they don't deserve to be with ya anyway."

"Thank you Joel…" you muttered. "But… it's not just that. I got a message when we were watching the movie and I went into the kitchen to read it, and-" you handed him your phone with a sniffle. Joel pulled away from you, holding the phone back a bit to read it with his bad vision. As he read it, his jaw and fists clenched. It may have been the first time Joel saw you cry, but it was also the first time Joel got angry when it was just the two of you.

"If I knew where this asshole little boy lived, I'd go over there right now and kick his ass for saying something like that to you" he seethed. "I can't believe anyone would say something like that to you."

You picked at a hangnail on your finger, still staring at your lap. Finally Joel took a breath and looked at you again. "Darlin'. You don't - you don't believe that guy do you?" He asked while rubbing your back again.

"Maybe…" you felt tears run down your cheeks. "I mean, he's right, isn't he? I'm not attractive or skinny. Nobody wants me, not even any of these guys on this app. Even the guys who aren't skinny don't want me either."

"Sweetheart. That's just not true. Look at me-" he lifted your chin with his left hand, right arm still holding you close. You hesitantly met his gaze, your wet eyes looking into his gentle browns. "Those men, if you even wanna call them that, they wouldn't know what beautiful was if it slapped them across the face. You're the most beautiful, sweet, funny woman I've ever met. Any man would be lucky to have you." He took a deep breath before admitting, "I'd be lucky to have you."

"What-?" You interrupted him.

"Darlin'... I never want to push your boundaries, but you don't see how often I flirt with you, tease you, and touch you? You don't see how smitten I am with you?" You frowned, brows furrowing as you picked through your memory. "I thought you were just a nice guy. Just a friend. I didn't… I didn't think you could ever like me as more than a friend, so I just ignored the butterflies I got around you." 

You searched his eyes, waiting for a joke, or your alarm to go off and wake you up from this dream.

"Sweetheart, I've been in love with you since just about the time I saw you walk across my brother's lawn towards me. I just figured y'wasn't interested in me that way."

"Joel," you laughed. "I've felt the same way."

He smiled, once again tilting your chin, yet this time pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was gentle, but held so much love and meaning, that the two of you couldn't help but smile in the middle of it. He pulled away, "and by the way, y'aren't old either. If anyone's old here, it's me. But if you want babies, I'll give you all the babies you want. But you already got two girls who love you. Sometimes I think they even love y'more than me," he laughed.

You smiled at him and nodded "I do love those girls like they're my own. But I would still like a little baby someday too."

He kissed you again, more passionately this time, licking your lip until you opened up and let your tongues dance together. He pulled away, running his nose across your jaw before stopping at your ear. "Only one way to give you that, darlin'." He gently bit your earlobe before kissing down your neck. 

You sighed. "Joel… please."

"Please, what darlin'?" He purred, kissing your clavicle through your baggy shirt. 

"Please, make love to me" you answered breathlessly, tipping your head back so he could better access your neck. 

"Take these baggy clothes off then, baby. Lemme see you," he gave you one last kiss on the lips before the two of you began undressing, stopping every few seconds to share grabby kisses. Once undressed, he pulled you into him and kissed you deeply, your hands on his chest. With a swift move, he tumbled the two of you sideways so that you were now on the bed, him on his back and you straddling his hips. You leaned down, kissing his lips, while the slight movement against his waist caused you both to moan at the feeling. "Baby I've wanted this for so long. Let me take care of you," Joel whispered, thumb stroking your cheek. He flipped the two of you over, slithering down towards your waist, where you spread your legs for him. He groaned, looking at how evident it was you wanted him, pumping his already hard cock a few times. Flattening himself on his stomach, he gently touched your thighs and began to kiss your legs. "Y'sure you still want this, baby?" 

"Yes Joel, please" you answered, tense with anticipation. Without a beat, he tipped his head down, licking a stripe up your slit. You let out a sigh, hips bucking toward his face. "I know baby, I know." His low timbre vibrated through your core. He gave a quick peck to your clit before swirling his tongue around it and heading downwards, licking between your folds while his nose continued to put pressure on your clit.

His fingers slid through, touching your entrance in a questioning way. "Yes, Joel, please" you cried, wiggling closer, your hands tugging at his hair. 

With your pleas, he inserted his finger, curling upwards before adding a second and finally hitting that spot inside you that made your breathing catch in your chest. He stroked, while still licking gently, occasionally sucking on your clit. Before long you were gripping the sheets with one hand, his hair in your other, as you finally tumbled into your orgasm. "So beautiful, baby" he coaxed, licking you through the waves of pleasure. 

"Think you're ready for me?" He looked up at you over your plush tummy. "Yes, Joel, please I'm so ready."

He stalked over your body, kissing his way up. He kissed your vulva, "I love this," he purred. He kissed your stomach, running his hands across your sides. "I love this," he licked. "I love these," he massaged your breasts, kissing each nipple. "I love you" he finally looked you in the eyes, kissing you on the lips deeply. 

"I love you too." You kissed him back, running your hands through his messy hair, down his broad shoulders and back. His hand snaked around, grabbing his cock and giving a few strokes through your folds until he was wet enough. Finally he pushed against your entrance, slowly entering you, giving you enough time to adjust to his size. Your fingers clawed at his back as he finally pushed all the way in, the two of you sighing in relief. 

Your body adjusted, and with a kiss to his nose, you prompted him to move. "Okay Joel, I'm ready."

Slowly, he began to thrust, pulling slowly out and gently pushing back in, eventually picking up to a pleasurable pace. He kissed you like his lips couldn't be away for longer than a few seconds, and it didn't take much before you were barreling towards your second release of the evening. "I'm almost there, Joel" you kissed, grabbing him around his back. "Me too, baby. Come for me." His thrusts were getting sloppy, but you could tell he was holding himself back for you. His fingers drifted over your clit, giving a few circular strokes and causing you to shudder around him, your eyes slamming shut with a moan. He followed right behind you, a couple messy strokes before pumping into you, filling you up and working you both through it. As the two of you came down from your high, he kissed you passionately, holding you like you were the only thing in the world. 

The two of you lay on your sides, you snuggled into his chest, his chin resting on your head before eventually he became soft and slipped out of you. You both sighed at the loss, but held each other until you rolled out to use the restroom and clean up. When you returned from the bathroom, you asked if he wanted to stay and he said yes. 

You lent him an extra toothbrush and the two of you stood side by side, brushing your teeth and stealing glances at each other in the mirror with matching lovesick smiles. Things felt domestic and comfortable as the two of you walked back to bed, sharing soft kisses snuggled to each other. Having completely forgotten why you were upset earlier, you fell asleep curled into his arms, full of love and hope for the future with a man you loved. 

_____

The next morning, you woke up to the smell of coffee brewing and breakfast cooking. You strolled down the stairs and saw Joel, wearing just his boxers and tee shirt, grabbing a slice of toast from the toaster. 

At the sound of your steps, he turned and smiled softly. "Morning, baby."

"Good morning, handsome," you replied, pressing a kiss to his lips. 

"I could get used to that," Joel replied, squeezing your ass and pulling his face away to look in your eyes.

"Joel! You devil," you giggled, gently smacking his arm. "You ain't seen nothing yet, baby" he nibbled your jaw.

After the two of you ate breakfast, you shared a shower, and he threw on a pair of extra clothes he keeps in his car. It would be hard to keep his visit a secret from his brother with his car still in your driveway, but as far as Tommy was concerned, you were sick and Joel was taking care of you.

The two of you made the walk over to Tommy's house to get the girls and participate in Halloween activities for the day. Walking in the door, Tommy pulled you into a hug. "Hey, we were worried about you! Are you feeling better? Were you sick?"

You looked up at Joel, sharing a knowing look. "I was just a little upset about something, but I'm feeling much better now," you smiled. 

Tommy gasped. "FINALLY!!!!" He threw his hands in the air while Maria grinned. 

"Cough it up Tommy!" Sarah held out her hand to her uncle. "You know I had October." He handed her a five dollar bill.

"You bet money on us?" Joel asked in disbelief, rubbing your back. 

"Obviously. You guys have both been pining since you first met," Ellie answered, rolling her eyes. "It was too entertaining for us to interfere though," Sarah added with a smirk.

You stared down at your shoes, feeling embarrassed, but Joel grabbed your hand. You smiled up at him and it felt like everything was aligned. "Yep, we finally took the step. And now I get to do this whenever I want," Joel pulled you into his arms for a deep kiss. 

"UGH. GROSS, DAD." Ellie and Sarah groaned, walking out of the room.

You both laughed, sharing a smile and heading towards the group to get ready for Halloween with your family.

[noahideahwrites]

Hi! Idk if you still do your X alpha reader hc but..

Can you do one for the Boys of Inuyasha again?? This time maybe How they ( the omegas/the boys ) secretlt like to be Carried by their Alpha?? Would be totes happy if you did this! ^^

How They Like To Be Carried — Inuyasha Omegas

Notes: I'm so sorry it took me this long to answer, the past few months have been wild with university and personal issues. But I'm gonna try and be more consistent, at least while I'm on summer break.

Warnings: Possible spoilers (principally on Naraku's), grammar mistakes, implied sex, and suggestive content

— Inuyasha:

»» As we all know this guy is a major tsundere, so he will deny and complain about you carrying him, even if deep down he loves it. You need to learn how to read his signs, similar to a dog's body language.

»» Now I'm a fan of making him flustered, so I would recommend doing it in front of his friends for a good laugh. But you need to keep in mind that he will not like you carrying him in front of others (who aren't his friends), principally if they're the enemy, even worse if it's Sesshomaru.

»» The guy has to keep his tough persona up and look intimidating, he cannot do it if he is red while you carry him. If you keep in mind those details, then you should be fine.

»» Inuyasha likes to be carried in any way, be on your back, shoulder and princess carried just to name a few, For him it doesn't matter how, as long as it's you doing it.

— Sesshomaru: 

»» There is only one way Sesshomaru likes to be carried and it's princess style, which can be surprising considering his personality and cold demeanor.

»» But for his alpha, Sesshomaru does and enjoys things he didn't think it would be possible for him to even consider. We have to remember that this guy is obsessed with his alpha, so he can tolerate a lot of things.

»» For you to even be able to carry him there can be only three people seeing, you, him, and maybe Rin, since she is your pup now. If even Jakin is present to see it, the moment you think of carrying him, he's gone.

»» The moment you're going to carry him the most is during aftercare, he loves to be pampered, principally after sex, so expect to be carrying him a lot after the act.

— Tōga: 

»» Tōga LOVES being carried, he doesn't care who sees it, or if people will start gossiping, or if he will embarrass his pups for being seen with you two.

»» He is also shameless, so he will ask you to carry him whenever he feels like it, and he will be smiling ear to ear and purring loudly, this man doesn't give a fuck.

»» He also loves carrying you, his alpha that he is really, REALLY obsessed with. If you don't like being carried he will only do it in the privacy of your home with only your pups to see.

»» Another frequent sight is Tōga carrying your pups around, doesn't matter their age, if they let him he will be seen just picking them up and walking around. But if they don't like it, it will be the same as when he does it to you.

»» Just like Sesshomaru he prefers the princess carry style, but he is not picky and will accept being carried in any way, shape, or form.

— Kōga: 

»» Absolutly HATES being carried with a passion, but loves carrying you. Don't even try to argue is not gonna work.

»» Every time you try to carry him, he does the uno reverse card and carries you instead. But you can feel the almost unnoticeable purrs he gives when carrying you.

»» Honestly, if you don't like being carried either just stop trying to carry him and you should be fine, he won't normally go out of his way to carry you around.

»» The only moment you will be carried no questions asked and without you initiating it, it's if you need to escape for whatever reason since he is faster than most if not all with the jewel shards.

— Bankotsu: 

»» This guy is the most neutral of all of them, he truly doesn't mind being carried, but it's also not something he likes, it's just indifferent.

»» Now, he does like teasing you when you go to carry him, saying something along the lines of "You really can't control yourself, huh?", he will make comments like this until you start blushing, this is the only part he actually likes about it.

»» But I feel like he is provocative to his alpha doesn't matter the occasion, it's just that you make it so easy when you like carrying him so much.

»» If he had to pick a style on being carried it would be a piggyback ride, he gets easy access to your ear, he can easily free himself if the need arrives and he can even provoke you if he feels like it.

— Naraku: 

»» ABSOLUTELY NOT, hates even the idea of it and hates even more thinking of carrying you, he just despises the carrying altogether.

»» How he goes about it depends on if it's just Onigumo that loves you or if Naraku as a whole loves you. If it's just Onigumo you won't even have many opportunities to even think about it after the first offer, he will cut you off and maybe even avoid you.

»» If the entirety of Naraku loves you, then it's another story. He still hates the thought of it, but the way he acts about it it's different.

»» Either he lets you carry one of his incarnations/clones, or he will try to distract you with other things, considering the way he is if he didn't accept on the first ask, I recommend not trying again if you want to live.

[atopvisenyashill]

do you think there's sufficient evidence in fire and blood's text that rodrik arryn raped daella, even if non-violently and under the sanctity of marriage? i just scrolled through a bunch of reddit arguments on whether or not rodrik and daella's marriage was truly romantic, consensual, and egalitarian one and i know you're the only person who'll answer this question fairly.

I think that these questions about "is there a way to meaningfully consent in this situation where a teenager marries an adult" are like, fundamentally silly. The answer is just objectively no, and it doesn't really matter how you slice it. This is my most firmly "anti" stance and it's not one I'm ever willing to budge on; this is not to say that there isn't some level of romanticism going on in these relationships, but I think it's just goofy and disingenuous to pretend like being 15 and married to a man your father's age doesn't have a massive impact on your growth, maturity, and relationship with sex. Especially in this series where we often do follow these relationships to their very end points, whether happy or tragic, it's just like, supremely stupid to ignore the shady ways that they started out. The age and maturity gap is part of the dynamic! It informs it!

It's not to say these relationships don't have romanticism baked in; I tend to categorize them as "surprisingly healthy" "romantic and destructive" and "completely destructive." I think Rhaenys and Corlys fall under the first one, Dany and Drogo are in the second one, and Lysa and Jon Arryn are in the third. Rhaenys & Corlys aren't excused from having some clear issues in their marriage (hello the Marilda affair and succession issue!!!!) just because their marriage is more or less healthy and consensual, but at the same time, it's silly to pretend like there isn't a romantic element to Dany & Drogo's relationship - the argument here is simply that the destructive element far outweighs the romantic one (and also,,,,, Drogo is simply not a deep character, he doesn't have a character outside of violent warlord but that's a whole other rant). And of course, the Jon-Lysa marriage is just completely destructive to Lysa's sense of self, not to mention the crazy political ramifications of Jon freezing Lysa out.

Now this specific situation....I mean what romanticism is there even to speak about lmao?? first of all, can't point out enough how ddeeply deranged jaehaerys is about this whole thing:

Her sixteenth nameday was fast approaching, and with it her womanhood. Queen Alysanne was at her wit’s end, and the king had lost his patience. On the first day of the 80th year since Aegon’s Conquest, he told the queen he wanted Daella wed before the year’s end. “If she wants I can find a hundred men and line them up before her naked, and she can pick the one she likes,” he said. “I would sooner she wed a lord, but if she prefers a hedge knight or a merchant or Pate the Pig Boy, I am past the point of caring, so long as she picks someone.” “A hundred naked men would frighten her,” Alysanne said, unamused. “A hundred naked ducks would frighten her,” the king replied. “And if she will not wed?” the queen asked. “Maegelle says the Faith will not want a girl who cannot read her prayers.” “There are still the silent sisters,” said Jaehaerys. “Must it come to that? Find her someone. Someone gentle, as she is. A kind man, who will never raise his voice or his hand to her, who will speak to her sweetly and tell her she is precious and protect her…against dragons and horses and bees and kittens and boys with boils and whatever else she fears.”

She's not even 16!!!! Hardly an old maid even by their standards - remember that Catelyn and Brandon's betrothal was made when she was 12 but they didn't set a date until 282, when she was 17 going on 18!!! And there's just no reason why Daella should be rushed into marriage given how many older siblings she has; I mean it's not like they were rushing Lollys Stokeworth into marriage until after her rape during the riot and she was 33, and a lot of that is because she is "simple" and Tanda Stokeworth clearly wants to wait for a husband who is willing to care for her properly. Both Jaehaerys and Gyldayn try to absolve Jaehaerys of responsibility here but there's just no good reason to be threatening to send Daella to the freaking SILENT SISTERS just because she's 15 and doesn't seem interested in marriage. Goofy, silly, noxious behavior here. But moving on to Rodrik.

Queen Alysanne admitted, “but he is the sort you asked for, a kind and gentle man, and he says that he has loved our little girl for years. I know he will protect her.” To the astonishment of every woman at the court, save mayhaps the queen, Princess Daella chose Lord Rodrik to be her husband. “He seems good and wise, like Father,” she told Queen Alysanne, “and he has four children! I’m to be their new mother!” What Her Grace thought of that outburst is not recorded. Grand Maester Elysar’s account of the day says only, “Gods be good.” ...Nor was there a bedding. “Oh, I could not bear that, I should die of shame,” the princess had told her husband to be, and Lord Rodrik had acceded to her wishes. Afterward, Lord Arryn took his princess back to the Eyrie. “My children need to meet their new mother, and I want to show the Vale to Daella. Life is slower there, and quieter. She will like that. I swear to you, Your Grace, she will be safe and happy.”

There's a few red flags here and a few okay things here. I think it's very odd that Daella's excitement at being a stepmother is considered an outburst that Alysanne mislikes and that Grand Maester Elysar says "gods be good." Weird to me idk!! Also, sorry, don't care about the time period, it's weird that he says he's loved her for years (and Corlys is weird for the Rhaenys/Marilda stuff, make no mistake!!!) BUT he doesn't force a bedding on her and he mentions taking her to the Vale because it's quieter, which is honestly a nice thing for Daella, who hates large crowds and court in general. This feels, initially, not dissimilar to like, the Sansa-Willas thing; is it shady? Yes, objectively. But that doesn't mean it has to be an unpleasant marriage, and something strong can grow there. However...

And so she was, for a time. The eldest of Lord Rodrik’s four children from his first wife was a daughter, Elys, three years older than her new stepmother. The two of them clashed from the first. Daella doted on the three younger children, however, and they seemed to adore her in turn. Lord Rodrik, true to his word, was a kind and caring husband who never failed to pamper and protect the bride he called “my precious princess.” Such letters as Daella sent her mother (letters largely written for her by Lord Rodrik’s younger daughter, Amanda) spoke glowingly of how happy she was, how beautiful the Vale, how much she loved her lord’s sweet sons, how everyone in the Eyrie was so kind to her... In the Vale, however, her sister Daella was not doing near as well. After a year and a half of marriage, a different sort of message arrived at the Red Keep by raven. It was very short, and written in Daella’s own uncertain hand. “I am with child,” it said. “Mother, please come. I am frightened.”

Though the princess professed delight that her mother had come, and apologized for sending her such a “silly” letter, her fear was palpable. She burst into tears for the slightest reason, and sometimes for no reason at all, Lord Rodrik said. His daughter Elys was dismissive, telling Her Grace, “You would think she was the first woman ever to have a baby,” but Alysanne was concerned... She was half right. Aemma Arryn, the daughter of Lord Rodrik and Princess Daella, came into the world a fortnight early, after a long and troubled labor. “It hurts,” the princess screamed through half the night. “It hurts so much.” But it is said she smiled when her daughter was laid against her breast. Everything was far from fine, however. Childbed fever set in soon after birth. Though Princess Daella desperately wished to nurse her child, she had no milk, and a wet nurse was sent for. As her fever rose, the maester decreed that she might not even hold her babe, which set the princess to weeping. She wept until she fell asleep, but in her sleep she kicked wildly and tossed and turned, her fever rising ever higher. By morning she was gone. She was eighteen years of age. Lord Rodrik wept as well, and begged the queen’s permission to bury his precious princess in the Vale, but Alysanne refused. “She was the blood of the dragon. She will be burned, and her ashes interred on Dragonstone beside her sister Daenerys.”

So to break this down Daella

Clashes with Rodrik's oldest immensely with Elys being quite cruel and in my opinion incredibly out of pocket when Alysanne gets there for what seems to be no real reason

Her letters are all written by Rodrik or Amanda and they are all glowing

FInally sends her own letter in her own hand and all it says is "i'm scared"

Immediately backtracks and says the letter was "silly"

Has started crying at odd times, something she didn't do before

This feels bad. This feels suspicious. This feels like Daella is regressing mentally and her correspondence is being controlled by her husband. Like Elys and likely Amanda are not very understanding of her needs, or her fears. She doesn't profess any sort of love for Rodrik to her mother's face, and Amanda despite being "close" to her isn't here to comfort Daella as she's having a troubled pregnancy. Then she dies.

The marriage barely lasts long enough to establish any sort of romanticism and what's there is bleak and confusing. It doesn't even feel like a Stockholm-y Dany/Drogo situation, where Daella simply forces herself to love a husband that is cruel to her; Daella does not seem particularly close to anyone in the Vale and Alysanne seems so suspicious of the whole thing that she not only inters Daella on Dragonstone, she also seems to have raised Aemma herself. She doesn't seem to give a single shit about Rodrik's grief here. Maybe that's just Alysanne being Alysanne but the fact that Gyldayn straight up says she's blaming Jaehaerys and Rodrik due to "pride" and Gyldayn is a nasty odious misogynist, I think it's very likely that Alysanne picked up on some really bad vibes from the Arryn family and the situation Daella was in.

To me, this is a Jon/Lysa redux. This is "what happens if Lysa was sickly and Jon married her." There doesn't seem to be any real care put into taking care of her, there seems to have been an active conspiracy to isolate her from her mother, and Elys is cruel to her for no reason. There's no romantic elements here for me, not even of the "toxic twin flame" or grooming variety; Daella is forced to marry, Daella is isolated from her family and impregnated, and Daella dies. I think at best Rodrik was hoping to get his blood on the throne in a generation or two and what he wept for was not the loss of a wife he loved but the loss of station when he saw just how pissed off Alysanne was about the whole ordeal. There's just nothing in the text to convince me that Rodrik was genuine or that Daella had fallen in love with him.

[five-rivers]

Prompt idea: Undergrowth wants his Daughter back. Whatever it takes

This got way off track, but... here you go.

.

A vast and nameless rainforest spread itself over several islands in the warmer regions of the Ghost Zone, reaching out hungrily in all directions. Although the rainforest of the mortal plane shrunk, this forest only grew.

Many ghosts made their homes in this rainforest, and civilizations, too, empires, kingdoms, and tribes driven to extinction on Earth finding a second life among spectral branches and vines. Of course, one could say the same of nearly anywhere in the Ghost Zone. It was, after all, an afterlife.

Undergrowth also resided here. Along with his family.

"Why is he sulking this time?" asked Silvagenitus, lying along a reaching upper branch and peering down through the understory to the depths Undergrowth lurked in.

"What is he always sulking about?" asked Liana rhetorically. "As if those skyscrapers won't be trellises in another few hundred years or so. This is the ice age all over again."

"I don't know," said Canopy. "This seems different. And he isn't wrong that humans have destroyed a lot of forests the past few centuries."

"Here, let's ask Mycorrhiza," said Liana. "Oi! Mycorrhiza! What's Undergrowth sulking about?"

"I'M NOT SULKING!" rasped Undergrowth, clawing his way halfway up the nearest tree trunk.

"He won't say," said Mycorrhiza, quietly. "Something about humans."

Undergrowth snarled.

"Well," said Silvagenitus, reasonably, "we can't help you if you don't tell us what's going on."

Undergrowth snarled and grumbled some more. "My children–" he started.

"Oh, here we go again," said Liana. "They aren't children if they don't think."

"My daughter–"

"Your what?" chorused the other ghosts.

Undergrowth sneered. "It's not like you care."

"It's hard to care if you don't tell us anything," said Canopy. "But a daughter, really?"

"A precious seed among human refuse," said Undergrowth with a sniff. "We only had a brief time together before she was unfairly lured away by that horrible boy, but I would do anything to get her back."

"Anything but ask your family for help," commented Liana.

"I will win her back–"

"Has your daughter actually been taken, or did she just leave?" asked Liana.

"It's that boy's fault. He's no good for her, that cold-hearted little weed."

"I hate to be the one to bring this up," said Mycorrhiza, "but did you actually ask her if she wanted to be your daughter? Or talk to her at any point? You do have to do that with real children, you know."

"You do have a bit of a consent problem," agreed Liana.

"I don't want to hear that from the two of you parasites."

"Excuse you, I'm symbiotic."

"Okay, so you'll do anything but ask for our help or actually talk to your daughter, is that right?" asked Liana. "What actually was your plan here? Because I don't get it."

"It would be helpful to know what you intended to do about this," said Canopy.

"I will unmake that pestilent city–"

"Ah, there isn't a plan, then," said Liana.

"You should have a better plan," agreed Silvagenitus. "Maybe a gift. What does she like? Any hobbies?"

"She has a great love of all things green and growing," said Undergrowth. "And I am not apologizing."

"We don't expect you to, honestly," said Liana.

"But we will help you, won't we?" said Silvagenitus, graciously.

"Of course," said Liana. "We are family, after all. I want to meet my niece, too!"

.

Mycorrhiza went first. They were more subtle than their siblings, better able to sink into the ground and sneak. Humans didn't often pay heed to what lay within the soil, and neither did their ghosts.

Also, the seasons were beginning to turn, and Mycorrhiza's siblings didn't deal well with cold. They could prepare the way for them.

.

"There are a lot of mushrooms this year, huh," said Danny, leaning over an indigo and orange toadstool. "I've never seen one like this before."

"It's because of global warming," said Sam confidently. "All these oil and coal companies pumping chemicals into the air with no thought to how that's going to affect the ecosystem."

"You might as well blame something closer to home," said Tucker with a scoff. "Like, you know, Undergrowth, Vortex, the portal to hell in Danny’s basement…"

"Don't call the Ghost Zone hell," said Danny. "We've got friends there."

"Yeah, and Danny's parents should have been way more careful. Like, who knows what kind of crap the portal lets out into the environment? I mean, beyond the ghosts."

"Yeah, they could have tried a little harder to make things safe," said Danny with a sigh. "You don't have to tell me that."

.

Pamela Manson looked out her dining roo. window and scowled. "How much do we pay that gardener?" she asked.

"I don't remember offhand," said Jeremy Manson. "I'm sure it's reasonable. Why, dear?"

"Well, if they can't keep those awful mushrooms off our lawn, it's obviously too much."

"I think they're great," said Sam. "Weren't you the one complaining about how there isn't any color in the garden in the fall? This'll change things, won't it?"

"Samantha Analise Manson, if I find out you seeded our lawn with those weeds–"

"Mushrooms don't even work like that! They aren't plants!"

"I don't care what they are. They're ugly, and– Where are you going, young lady?"

"School!" Sam shouted angrily over her shoulder before slamming the door behind her. And good riddance!

.

"So," said Silvagenitus, clearly in a good mood, "what's your verdict? Our niece? This mysterious boy?"

"Our niece is lovely, and her human parents are awful. If Undergrowth hadn't already claimed her, I'd be tempted. As for the boy… Being angry with him is like being angry at winter. It's ridiculous."

"Undergrowth is a little ridiculous at times, isn't he? I suppose that is what little brothers are like."

.

Danny frowned up at the cloud of fog over the trees in the park. "Is it just me," he said, "or do those clouds look a little green?"

"Could be," said Tucker. He took off his glasses and cleaned them on his shirt. "Hard to tell with the light. Do you think it's 'cause ectoplasm's gotten into the water cycle or something?"

"It wouldn't surprise me, but I hope not," said Sam.

"Yeah," said Danny, shuddering. "Can you imagine? The hot dogs are bad enough, but what if all the roadkill in the city came to life? Or whatever is dead in the sewers and rain drains? Or you're eating a sandwich outside and it starts to rain, and now you've got to fight off bologna on rye… I'm going to check it out. You guys go ahead without me."

"Don't forget the English homework!" shouted Tucker after him as he flew up and towards the park.

.

"Ugh," said Pamela Manson, "why has there been so much fog lately? It's so dreary."

"The weather doesn't exist to please you, Mom," said Sam, rolling her eyes.

Although… Danny had called her last night and said that he'd felt something in the clouds, although he hadn't found a ghost. So maybe her mother had a right to complain after all. The fog had been thick in their neighborhood. On the other hand, the weather really was just like that, sometimes.

.

"How is it?" asked Canopy.

"What's 'it'?" asked Mycorrhiza, playfully.

"The girl, the boy, the city, the soil, the… artificiality. The pollution."

"Oh, it's not so bad as all that," said Silvagenitus. "Much better than… When was it? Fifty years ago? When were we last on this side of the veil?"

.

"Okay," muttered Danny, "I can accept the mushrooms, and the green clouds, but this? This isn't natural."

He and Tucker stared down the street, Danny floating a few feet in the air. Yesterday, the street had been an entirely unremarkable one, only of interest to Danny and Tucker because it led into Sam's neighborhood. Yesterday, it had a few normal trees - just barely past the sapling stage - and today, each of those trees had grown dozens of feet, tall upper branches reaching into the sky.

Those new branches dwarfed the original trees, and also had massively different leaves, each one dark, thick, broad, and waxy, unlike the smaller leaves of the trees they grew from.

"Yeah, I don't think this is structurally sound," said Tucker, gently pushing on a slender tree trunk. The whole tree swayed. "Undergrowth?"

"No," said Danny. "It feels different. It all feels different." He shook himself. "Ugh, my skin feels all prickly. It's like whatever it is has been here for a while, but I haven't been able to find them. Come on, let's go find Sam."

.

"So, your neighborhood's turned into a jungle," said Danny.

Sam rolled her eyes. "My parents consider it a personal attack. Figure out what ghost did this?"

"Not yet. I'm sure I'll get attacked sooner or later, though. What about you? How are you holding up? After all, you know, the whole thing with Undergrowth…"

"Come on, I'm not letting one bad week dictate my life and keep me away from the things I like. You guys haven't, after all."

"I still have nightmares," pointed out Danny.

"And you don't let them stop you. Besides, this is kind of cool, and also not hurting anything yet, right?"

"Yeah," said Danny. "That's true."

.

"Okay, you've got everything ready for me over here? Because I'm so tired of Undergrowth's whining."

"Yes, Liana, we're ready for you," said Silvagenitus, tiredly. "We've been ready for you for a month at least."

"Hey, no need to get snippy."

"Hey! Hey! Liana, you're here. Guess what? She thinks I'm cool."

"Wow, that's a first for you, huh?"

.

"Yeah," said Danny, glaring at the curtains of flowering, glowing vines. "I'm drawing the line here. Yoohoo! Ghosts! Ghosts! I'm talking to you! Come on out! I'm sick of waiting for the other shoe to drop! If it's Undergrowth– well, you'd better bet I'll be kicking your butt for coming back out here after what you did to Sam!"

"Hey, what about me?" asked Tucker. "I got one of those vines plugged into my neck, too."

"And Tucker!"

"I don't know if this is a good idea, Danny…"

"I don't care! I've been stressing about this since the mushrooms, and you'd better believe I'm ready to fight!"

"Well," said Mycorrhiza, "if you put it like that…"

A circle of mushrooms sprung up around the three teens, and a glowing green portal opened inside of it. Two fell through, and the third dove after them.

They landed among ghostly branches, and four large ghosts grinned at them.

"So," said Canopy, "humans. Let's talk."

.

"Let me get this straight," said Tucker. "You're Undergrowth's siblings, and he recruited you to hold some kind of… family intervention so Sam will join him on his take over the world mission again?"

"Well, it's more that he complained so much that we got curious, but, yes, essentially," said Silvagenitus. He passed Danny a cup-sized and shaped flower full of nectar. Danny held it loosely, as if he was afraid it'd bite him.

"Who does he think he is?" demanded Sam. "He has no right to talk to me at all– He doesn't have the right to be anywhere near me, and he somehow thinks he's my father? Is he crazy?"

"What about the conquering the world thing?" said Danny, who looked vaguely ill. "Shouldn't we focus on that?"

Sam waved him off. "They've been here for over a month and haven't hurt anyone or anything except for my parents' sense of aesthetics. Besides, they've been great for the local ecosystem. Where was I? Right. That jerk Undergrowth–"

.

Liana sidled up to Undergrowth. "Hey," she said, smugly. "You'll be happy to know our plan worked. She's coming to talk to you."

Undergrowth brightened. "She is?"

"Well. It's more that she's coming to yell at you, and bringing her friends to beat you up, but baby steps. After all, you did start your relationship with mind control."

"I hate you."

"Sorry, I'm too busy for you to hate me. I'm too busy thinking up birthday presents for my niece– oh, but you don't even know when that is. Ha ha."

.

"Do you think sending Liana to tell him was the right choice?" asked Silvagenitus.

"Eh," said Mycorrhiza, "better to get it out of the way, now. Consider it softening him up for Sam."

[aoinene-ceo]

Rambling About Aoinene <3

────── · · ୨୧ · · ──────

What's important about Aoinene is context - in the earliest chapters of TBHK, Aoi had a scarce amount of appearances. Her character seemed to be that of the typical popular girl archetype, one that enjoyed gossip and rambling about boys and shopping. But even then, we were still given hints and glimpses of Aoi's true personality.

Firstly, she relays the school mystery's rumors to Nene. It was easy at the time to just assume she liked gossip or really was seeking them out for Nene's sake. Instead, with the context of future chapters, we know that Aoi likes horror and was probably intrigued by the urban legend esque nature of the rumors. Collecting them for Nene was a cover and an excuse. If anyone were to ask why she was invested in them, Aoi could simply say her friend was interested in them and her perfect girl persona could stay unmarred.

She and Nene were close, in a shallow sort of way. Supposedly best friends, BFFs for life. It reminds me in a way of Needy and Jennifer's relationship in Jennifer's Body. They have a strange sort of relationship where they are extremely dependent on each other, but only because they feel they NEED the other because they have always been there, and they don't know what to do when they're not. (Aoi also feels similarly of Akane, but to a stronger degree because they've known each other longer.)

Nene has a shallow view of Aoi because Aoi never opens up to her. She never seeks out Aoi's personality, either. Nene likes how things are, and she wants them to stay that way - they both do, but at the same time, they're wanting for change. To truly understand each other and to be understood and accepted for who they are.

But since Aoi hasn't opened up yet, we have no idea about her inner turmoil, the pressure to be the perfect, pretty popular girl. It won't be until a bit later that people pick it up, and it's established in her fanon personality.

And so, Aoinene became a ship about comphet. Aoi was the pretty popular girl in love with her cute, unpopular friend, Nene. She loved Akane, but she didn't reciprocate his feelings in that way. On the other hand, Nene became the girl with comphet who admired and idolized Aoi almost as much as Akane did.

And that was how it stayed, Aoi slowly developed depth in our eyes as Nene began to realize how shallow her knowledge of Aoi was.

I can see why Aoinene isn't everyone's cup of tea. It's a pretty overdone lesbian ship dynamic, but then again, Terukane is an overdone gay dynamic and so is Hanakou and Mitsukou. That doesn't make them bad at all, in fact, I love all of these ships dearly. But, while I support all of the rarepairs and cute TBHK ships, I'm a bit disappointed in how starved we are for honestly just fem characters in general.

If you compare the female members of the cast to the male ones, they are heavily outnumbered. And that's not even narrowing it down to the female named characters. Most of them aren't even at a similar enough age that they can be shipped, or just don't interact much at all. (Along with weird time shenanigans like the Meis and whatever is up with Sakura.) And again, the issue of fandoms favoring male characters over fem ones. (I'm not saying having a boy fav is bad, just that it's sad that the fem characters are usually so tossed aside in general by both the authors and fandom)

There's also the idea that Aoinene is boring. Because it's too fluffy, it doesn't have much substance, they don't have enough potential or content to stand on their own, their dynamic is boring compared to the toxic gay ships, etc. I just wanted to say now that that is absolutely not true!

The conflict of Aoinene comes from how difficult it is to tell if a girl is gay and into you or just doing Girl Things, how isolating it feels to be in love with your straight best friend who you know won't reciprocate your feelings. The suffocating and isolating way your first homoerotic friendship makes you feel, how it is to depend on someone so much because they've always been there but your love has been twisted into hatred and codependancy and you hate them for how things have changed, but you long to return to how it was but you don't because you're young and confused and don't know how to handle the storm, the hurricane of emotions and conflicts and contradictions the two of you are.

Aoinene is like a kettle left to boil on the stove - simmering and bubbling and boiling, and the pressure of trying to keep it down, to keep everything contained, seems to go against the natural order. No matter what, they'll explode.

While I do love the fluff side of Aoinene, the "toxicness" of their relationship is important, too. The reason most people find Aoinene dull is most likely because the fandom had either scrubbed away all of Nene's and Aoi's flaws, put them into cookie cutter personalities made for a ship dynamic, or only showcased one of them as flawed.

People hate female characters existing smh ... (/hj) Not to mention, the yuri versions of gay ships and hananene are way more popular than aoinene too, and whenever I check the tag they're usually just a backhround ship that's barely mentioned or important ... 😭😭

Sorry if I was a little mean somewhere, I've just been sort of mad lately about how female characters are treated and how people treat gay relationships in media (not just lesbian ones) !! This isn't meant to be rude to anyone in particular, and like I said, it's just me rambling a lot 😓😓😓 i am the complainer 😼😼😼

[sgiandubh]

I have a question! You're a shipper. Therefore, you like both S&C, but you only post about Sam and the posts are about him not doing enough to expand his brand, how he is miscast and untapped potential. You've said you were a defender of Sam, but I did not think you came across that way, you mostly write about what Sam isn't doing to your liking. So, my question is why don't you post about Caitriona? One Belfast post some weeks ago and a paragraph about her non-existent branding. Of course, this is your blog, and you can post and say whatever you'd like, I'm just an anon so I don't have a leg to stand on here, but I'm being genuine in asking.

Dear Caitriona Anon,

Yours is an interesting, provocative question and for this reason alone it did not make the classic trek to the bin (yay?).

Oh, yes, a shipper I am. Probably not what you folks call an 'extreme shipper', but a staunch, firm shipper, whose convictions aren't just based on wishful thinking. Enough said.

May I ask (and I swear I am doing it without malice) for how long have you been following my page? I wrote about C quite a number of times, even specifically about her, in a very positive way, if you'd just care to look into the archives. For example, this post: https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/724773265698062337/la-passante-de-la-place-des-vosges-the-passerby. And I have always, always ferociously defended S, against all odds, especially when the Disgruntled Tumblrettes (probably the most unkind, dishonest, cynical tribe of this fandom) went for him in a rather unsavory fashion.

Now, Anon, do not expect me to constantly fangirl over These Two, because this is not going to happen. They are my age and as such, I see things perhaps a bit differently than OL's main demographic. Cynically speaking, I can afford the luxury of being a bit irreverent, from time to time, about two people I find extremely endearing (make no mistake) and worth of my attention. Not a mommy, nor a worshipper. Just a rational shipper (we are quite a few, in here, you know), who does not think this is all about unicorns and leprechauns for ever frolicking at the end of the rainbow.

Because it's not - this is about two people who make terrible gaffes and horrendous mistakes, too. This is about a girl who sometimes shows such entitlement and wrath, that it is almost too hard to like her, at times. And about a boy whose foot in mouth syndrome is, by now, proverbial. This is about two people whose lies and coverups slowly turned them into cartoonish, PR-generated versions of themselves. And this is about two people who, almost like in a Wilde parable, unexpectedly found fame, fortune and love on their path. Will they squander part of it? All of it? Will they be wise about it and learn from their own blunders? This is something I find fascinating to observe, Anon.

My critiques of S's branding have always been, I think (or at least, I sincerely hope), respectful, motivated and constructive. Mainly because I think that (particularly) in his case, there is a deep chasm between his PR and real personas. He would have everything to gain if he stopped trying so hard to be someone he obviously isn't. And so would she.

If my thoughts are not your jam, Anon, simply stop reading me. What you do seem to conveniently forget, too, is that this blog is also, and maybe above everything else, about these two people falling for each other, for real. And it is my deepest belief that we do not help this story by turning it into a cheap cliché or behaving like a hungry mob prone on tantrums if they do not deliver what is conventionally expected. And perhaps you are right, in a way: I seldom post about them as separate entities. In my mind, they are one.

You are welcome to answer, Anon. And I hope I managed to do the same with your question.

[dairy-farmer]

I sneak back in~☆ with more of my Ideas~☆ tis me Again~

You know what's GREAT? Along with all that villian tech and magic? Canonical Multiverse. Oh my, oh my~ Such OPTIONS we have todaaaay~ >:Dc

Because? Is it really YOUR son? If he's from a different reality, has a different history, you didn't raise him, and you technically met yesterday? Same name, face, and dna... but? IS THAT YOUR SON, BATMAN?

Or is that an ethically sourced Tim Puss? Or other bits. We ain't judging, Multiverse is large and in some of those you're sentient fish! Go nuts! Just be respectful. Not on the dinner table ffs.

And! In the inevitable Bat Adventures of Various Bat Peoples(tm)? They are GOING to cross realities! Some times you go to their's, some times they come to you. Sometimes it's your hypothetical great×5 Grandbaby with a STILL alive Ra's AL Ghul. Sometimes a Robot. Occasionally they are Evil(tm).

But! Do? You? Fuck?

CAN you? These are the questions! An ethical debate for the ages! Tim says? A Strong Maybe! What is he working with, here? *various outraged noises from his family* WHAT, they aren't HIS family! It's not like he'd sleep with YOU guys. *various conflicted noises*

Like? Clearly not, if they're Evil. Or like... physically incompatible... Or the world needs saving? He DOES have his priorities straight. But like.... Strong Maybe!

But you know what that Tim has? Thousands of other NEARLY identical versions of him. Spanning the Multiverse. All juuuuust slightly off in one way or another. Different choice here. Breakfast was skipped there. Likes tea instead of energy drinks yonder. AND? All have that "someone should probably have been supervising me" Feral spark~

Tim gets Horny. Maybe he and his team pulled a successful mission. Thwarted a Multiversal threat. Wooo! We're young and unsupervised! Beer! Pizza! Making out! WITH EACH OTHER! Thank God we're not dead!!!

But thing is? Tim is a horny drunk. He is... mostly unaware of this. It's apparently just a beer thing. He doesn't like the taste so he's never really drunk them. He's giggly. Wants to fuck. Kon is already asleep. Sad face. Wait.... WAIT! He has a BRILLIANT Idea! He stumbles to his feet. To his room. Ah HA! His "I'm Looooonely~ 🥺" Sexy Photos! Perfect.

He stumbles back. Digs out the Multiverse device. His drunk little mind not stopping to consider this might be a PHENOMENALLY stupid idea. After all... His Kon asleep. Other Kon's not maybe? Sexy sex for Timmy. Mmmm, Sex. His logic, is of course, FLAWLESS. He's gonna do it!

He inputs his photos as an info package, restricts to humanoid realities, clarifies "Evil guys, DNI" because OBVIOUSLY they will honor that, and recognize they are in fact Evil, instead of Misunderstood Heros. Then adds he would like to fuck, Multiverse tech obviously required, then to REALLY seal the deal a saucy " ;) ".

It's PERFECT. He's a GENIUS. Gonna... gonna get SO LAID. He hits send. Goes to get ready for Other Kon. Forgets, gets himself off, and goes to sleep.

DOESN'T REMEMBER TO TELL ANYONE.

It goes EXACTLY as you think it does. They get fucking INVADED by randos. All of whom are thirsting for Batman's son. Many of whom ARE Batman. Some are Kon. Some Superman. There are alternative Tim's. Apparently Go Fuck Yourself is the hot new craze. Tim is super, mega, ULTRA grounded.

But it's also damn near impossible to prevent Batmen from just... stepping into whatever room he's in. From their own reality. Bruce is at his wits end. The fuckers keep fucking and trying to carry off his baby boy. He doesn't CARE if you lost your own! Or never had one! Or yours hates you! Or WHAT! UNHAND THE TIM SON! *extreme violence*

And Dick? Inches from a nervous break down. All these PERVERTS keep coming to MOLEST his brother! Including versions of HIM! Selfs! How COULD YOU!? You don't even plan to ROMANCE him! No dinner or dances or romantic dates! Just fuck him on the floor and stuff a baby in him! *incredible violence* *somewhere... Deathstroke feels weirdly thrilled... huh*

Both Jason and Damian of course are LEARNING some stuff about themselves. Mostly from beating Alt-Selfes off with whatever on hand. Damian especially is having A Time of it. How DARE himselfs make him Realize Drake Is Hot! You magnificent BASTARDS!

Jason is hearing a lot of Husband this and Babyboy that and.... you... you KINKY MOFO with your TENDER EMOTIONS need to cut this shit RIGHT OUT! So help him he will shoot you! RIGHT IN THE DICK.

And of course Kon was all *sees like a bazillion of himself show up when Tim Puss was offered* Yeah this Tracks. I understand completely. *Sees CLARKS showing up* *slow head turn of Death towards his Clark* .....Something you wanna tell me? :) Clark? :)

Lois standing on his other side, who ALSO did the Head Turn: Yeah, honey :) Something you need to get off your chest? :)

Clark, innocent but still cold sweating : Please remember that they are probably Evil. I have a LOT of messed up Alternative Selfs out there. Love you, honey. And I would NEVER.

Just? The unending parade of Multiverse Booty calls? Showing and rocking Timmy's world before he can get a word in edgewise? This poor Tim has already been caught like five times this week and it's only Wednesday? Every chases them off... but poof! New one! Fucked again! Nearly carried off while fucked out and drooling, AGAIN! The best minds on the planet scrambling to fix Timmy's drunk booty call!

He can't patrol, can barely get work down, barely has time to SLEEP. Has woken UP to being fucked by HIMSELF. And a Kon. AND three separate Bruce's. Sometimes multiples show up! Sometimes they SHARE!

Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to argue with men lovingly holding you as they make you orgasm stupid? Hard! Tim keeps LOSING! He can't even walk straight. He's GOO. Fucked out, cum stuffed, GOO.

Dear God his birth control better work or he is DEFINITELY pregnant at this point.

And? In the chaos? Tell me there isn't the chance that his actual fam don't... consider it. With so many versions of themselves popping in and out? Just add then remove an alteration to their costume... no one but them would ever know.

Just? Imagine the chaos~~☆

"ethically sourced Tim Puss" 😭😭😭😭😭 that's the funniest line i've ever read!!! and yessssss!!!!!!!!! this idea!!!!! i love it so much!!!!!!! i've absolutely mused the thought of it before!!! the idea that bruce uses the 'it's not technically incest if it's not MY tim' loophole!!!!!

tim being both a horny and stupid little drunk is so good!!! he definitely has 'lonely night' photos of himself in nothing but tiny little seee through panties and underwear or in nothing but socks and lip gloss. he sends them to kon when he's horny and wants to fuck and now he's using a multiverse outfitted computer to mass send out an email from his dimension with attatched photos like he's a pop ad from a porn site 'like his tits? fuck him today!'

the email will be easily traceable to his dimension to any kon with dimensional tech which is what tim banks on while drunk. but then tim stumbles away and forgets about his photo ladden email and open invitation to fuck. he manages to make it to his room and sloppily stuffs a few fingers into his dripping pussy and clumsily rubs at his clit until his toes are curling and he manges to drunkenly cum. it's not long before he passes out from the combination of alcohol and the bit of satisfaction from masturbating.

in the morning tim's hangover pounds against his head along with the intruder alert alarm which cuts out mere seconds after starting. it's not until he hears his bedroom door sliding open that he looks up to see kon in uniform standing at his doorway and staring at him.

tim's in a simple tshirt and no panties with his legs spread on his messy bed. kon is in full armor though...one of his older suits with the blue accents for some reason.

he's also staring at tim pretty heavily. in the sort of way he's very familiar with because tim can see that heady desire in kon's eyes and knows what's next.

the rest of the titans, kon included, find tim in his room getting wonderfully fucked by his not-kon(?).

thankfully tim gets to cum before they kick that superboy out. they brief tim about how the justice league, batcave, and other hero teams have reported disturbances and anomalies typically seen with dimensional travel and given that the titans just finished kicking some multiverse butt they should probably prepare for another...attack.

only...it seemed like that dimensional traveler had other ideas.

they go to that dimensional laptop they confiscated and very quickly find tim's original email because they are receiving hundreds of interested replies.

it's a hellish week for everyone and tim has absolutely been scolded and reprimanded numerous times. usually after each near kidnapping is avoid because tim keeps getting tracked down and fucked by different versions of horny kons, other tim's, TONS of batmen, nightwing, redhood, and robins.

other bats are typically the ones behind the kidnapping attempts. one nightwing confessed to tim while pumping his cock into tim's poor little hole that his tim hasn't spoken him in years and this was the only chance he'd ever get to forage some connection and feel tim's touch again. red hood is apparently lonely because his 'wife' is away on a space mission and those photos were so teasing and pushed him over the edge. damian apparently wants to know what teenage tim's pussy feels like. but bruce....oh bruce.

poor bruce is so lonely and tortured by the attraction he feels for his son. and then comes tim's pictures. such temptation. such willingness to be fucked by anyone and anything including his father in a different dimension and all of them have problems with their tims.

there are no tims in their dimension, they had a falling out with their tims and don't talk anymore, or their tim has passed away and left them with these horribly compex unresolved feelings and its only through fucking tim that they'll be able to finally move on with their lives.

of course some of those batmen aren't satisfied with the one time deal and attempt to abduct tim who is all woozy and half passed out from orgasms through a portal to their home dimensions.

it's a very difficult week. made more difficult by the fact that tim is clearly a willing engager with many of these different dimensional travelers invading for some pussy.

every single one of the bats is desperate to get this all fixed. the only other person aside from them who wants this all to go away is clark whose marriage and relationship with his sort of clone-son is now on the rocks because more than a few alternate supermen have shown up looking to answer tim's email and fuck his womb full of kryptonian cum. one of them even dug clark's hole even deeper by mentioning how he's curious to see if this tim drake's womb will be just as receptive to kryptonian seed as his own.

and he said it in FRONT of both kon and lois who are now both very angry with clark is so very innocent and he swears that he's never once thought of sweet little tim like that!!! in fact clark was pretty sure tim was the only one of the bats and one of the few capes that genuinely disliked him!!!!!

the fact that tim doesn't blatently reject the superman that whistle and fly past the action, their suits bulging with their erections does nothing to help clark's case.

truly if there is any victim in this entire case-aside from tim's family who are currently in the crisis working the concept of fucking tim out of their system by actually fucking tim- it is clark.

poor sweet clark who, genuinely, has done nothing wrong the entire time.

[rottmnt-residuum]

I love your comic. But I don't understand one thing...

Why is the Hidden City Council helping Bishop?

From what I remember it's impossible to distinguish between a mutant and a yokai. And I don't see any interest in it for the Council to fight mutants. So why?

If this is some kind of spoiler to the story to I will understand if you leave it unanswered

Okay, theres a lot to say here and while it's mostly head canon, its all based on evidence in show or how the real world works, but we'll start with this. Yokai and Mutants are definitely not the same thing. Like, at all.

Mutants, unlike yokai, were literally genetically designed by Draxum. Of course, it's more of a broad design with most of them, but the boys had a genetic donor hand-picked. They are war machines.

Mutants, are specifically made to be weapons.

Yokai... while it's said that the empyrean is the cause of them, that was said unofficially outside the show, therefore we don't take it as canon. We've also said before that we head canon empyrean as more as a mystic enhancer.

Taking into account Japanese folklore, which has been around far longer than the point the kraang has been assumed to arrive, as well as the life span yokai have. Big mama probably isn't exaggerating when she says they've been around for eons.

While we can only find this on the wiki and can't remember an episode where this is mentioned(it might be made up), but an individual yokai ages 10:1 relative to a human. This means Baron Draxum is in his 400's-500's. This means that the yokai world, with how developed it is, has been around for a long, long time.

If we look at how the boys are aging... at best they have human life spans, but if we look at mikey in the movie he has aged much, much more than the others. Mikey species of turtle can live to 100 (making him the longest lived of the bunch), but with how using mystics seems to age him... yeah. (but, it could be from not being trained properly) (also, with this aging side efect, if it's common, yokai might actually live for even longer if they didn't use mystics. Barry could just be in his 300 or something.)

Mutants don't age like yokai.

Also, indistinguishable???? (i mean that's what a lot of the humans in residuum will think, but-) Mutants are just... like, animal but make it human(if they have a human component). Yokai are much, much more diverse with body plans than mutants are. Mother fcking bone man??? skin man????? multiple limb, multiple eyes. literal orcs and dragons and slime people and-

Yokai aren't designed. (i mean they are, by an artist, but not in world)

So, in the world of residuum, if you sequence their dna, they are completely different. But thats not even getting into the bag of worms that is the mechanics of Mutant DNA.

Now for why the hidden city is helping... Look at me in the eye. Look at me in the eye and tell me a government wouldn't want to get their hands in that sweet, sweet biological weapon pie. Anyway.

If you really pay attention to the yokai presence on the surface in the show you'll notice that... every single yokai on the surface, with exactly two exceptions, has a connection with crime. The ones that don't, are usually hiding from something. With that... It's pretty obvious to me that yokai on the surface would generally be considered criminals by those in the hidden city.

Why would the hidden city care about what happens to some random criminal?

Another thing is that if a yokai is on the surface, they're typically cloaked, so not really at risk of being captured. Draxum is literally just hanging out, tormenting teenagers in a lunchroom. His whole situation just... out there. It was a given that they were going to mistake him for a mutant.

(of course this isn't mentioning the fact that the hidden city police are opportunistic at best, and apathetic at worst. With how big mama is just able to do basically whatever she wants, the hidden city government doesn't actually seem to care that much about their crime problem. They only really started condemning Draxum once he got their presence exposed to the public. Like really? Just one agent on the guy making biological super weapons? Okay.)

(also, also. in residuim the hidden city is considered a sovereign state, thus yokai have documentation and rights and political power. It's mystics guys. They would have so much political power, oh my god. its just more convenient for them to stay hidden really.)

also, racism is a thing. Yokai aren't like.. immune

[egoistars]

TALKING TO MY GHOST AT NIGHT reo

theres a ghost in the blue lock facility, reo and bachira are sure of it. they also aren't the most reliable sources out there but it was funny, nagi can humor them for a little longer if it means reo will finally get a partner and set him free ( wc : 2.1k+ )

warnings : crack, angst if u blink slowly, reader is a slut for money and so am i, reo is into some weird shit but it's ok they're into each other i promise

“Yo! Yo! Sei-shi-ro!” Bachira called out, once again with glittering stars in his eyes as Reo’s face pales every passing second. “You will never guess what Reo and I found!”

“Nagi, there’s a ghost,” Bachira’s accomplice muttered. “We saw them when we went to eat dinner.”

“You guys are delusional,” the white-haired boy sweatdropped, were they getting enough sleep? Probably not. Ego was absolutely insane and for the first few days Nagi was in the Blue Lock facility, he swore he was losing his five senses ( he was better when he got his phone back but that’s not important ^ _ – ). “Are you guys sure it wasn’t a janitor or cook?”

“We swear!” The dumbass duo retaliated, each one taking hold of one of Nagi’s arms. “They looked like they were our age and they even had the same really ugly dark circles and eyebags as you! There’s no other explanation.”

Nagi was too tired for this shit he just wanted to lie in bed and play mobile games like an elementary school kid. “Well, leave me out of this you guys can get haunted for all I care.”

“What the fuck, Nagi?! Even after all we’ve been through? I’m like the second coming of Jesus to you! I introduced you to the art of playing with balls!” Maybe he could have worded that better but Reo was too deep in the blistering sorrow of betrayal to care about his relationship with the Japanese language.

“Yeah! Listen to Reo! You’re one of us and plus, you and the ghost look equally exhausted so that means you should be the one to talk to them!” Bachira innocently giggled as if he didn’t just set Nagi up for a demonic ritual or whatever the fuck they were planning.

“Can we at least wait until tomorrow?” Nagi whined, his eyelids felt heavy and there was too much stupidity in the room for his brain to handle in a day. His brain was swelling and any more that came out of Bachira or Reo’s mouth would cause it to explode and somehow, his batshit insane rivals teammates will find a way to bring him back to life ( maybe even with the ghost ) and beat the shit out of him for abandoning them ( Reo ).

—

It was getting late and most of the Egoists had gone to their rooms to do whatever was on their schedule next. The reasonable ones went to rest, the weird ones went to train, and then there was the demon named Rin Itoshi who went to follow his yoga routine. Ew, that name sent shivers down Nagi’s spine. He wants to see that guy trip and fall on his ass sometime, that’d be pretty funny, he thinks. It would be even better if his brother did the same. But for Nagi, instead of playing his first-person shooters like how he would like to, the boy was being shushed by Meguru Bachira who was accompanied by an oddly serious looking Reo Mikage.

“Ghost… ghost…” Reo began making different “oOOOoO” noises to mimic ghost sounds from a badly produced Halloween movie. “We come in peace. We don’t plan to hurt you.”

“Yeah! We’re totally cool, you should hang out with us! Look! We even have some random dude who’s like the same breed of human as you! Er… as you were.”

“Bachira I didn’t agree on being a human sacrifice,” Nagi tried saying, but was quickly cut off.

“Shhh! You’re gonna scare it away! No one cares~!”

“Are you mentally well?”

Bachira and Reo let out loud ear-shattering screams, each going straight into Nagi’s head and giving him the most painful migraine he’s ever experienced, so painful that he almost did not realize it was an unfamiliar voice talking to Bachira instead of one of their own. Looking up at whoever it was, it happened to be another teenager who looked relatively normal with no seemingly ghostly features at all.

“Aren’t you guys soccer players? What the fuck are you doing out here ghost hunting?”

“Wait so you aren’t a ghost?” Bachira tilted his head and asked, his eyes blank in confusion while Reo looked like he was short-circuiting.

“No…?” You replied, pinching your skin. “I’m like ninety-nine percent sure I’m alive and well. You guys are hallucinating or something if you think I’m a ghost.”

“T-then why are you here?!” Reo pointed at you and demanded, suddenly thinking you were some intruder or hitman that was hired by one of his family’s rival companies, out to kill him while he happens to be away from home.

“‘Cause I’m that freak Jinpachi’s cousin. I need volunteer hours to graduate so I came here and honestly, I regret it. Nepotism sucks—well, at least this kind. I should’ve been born as some major actor’s kid.”

“Woah! So you aren’t here to kill me, that’s great!” Reo beamed, suddenly very giddy that a cute intern the same age as him would not be an absolute danger to his well-being. It had been years since he felt this electricity in his chest, the last time being when he met Nagi, who had been stuck with him ever since that day on. The purple-haired boy was unsure of whether the pleasure he felt from meeting you was due to a new challenge, or the fact he was genuinely interested in you. After all, he thought you were a ghost the first time he saw you.

“What—huh?! Why would I kill you? What kind of unresolved trauma do you have? Was this Jinpachi’s fault? That man is fucked in the head but he has money so don’t tell anyone about it until he dies and I get all his inheritance, ‘kay?”

Nagi did not know if you morbid words went one of Reo’s ears and out the other or if Reo was weirdly into whatever fantasies you had. Rich people. Bachira, though, was giggling like a devious troll, making squelching kissy noises in Reo’s ear as you went on and on about your plan to save yourself from the world of middle-class living and kick your cousin out of the economic elites so that you could replace him, knowing damn well that Ego could hear you.

And, he did.

A large television screen mounted to the front wall of the Blue Lock Facility cafeteria turned on almost immediately after you stopped talking, displaying a far from happy Jinpachi Ego in all of his bowl-cut glory. The man’s permanent frown was even more of a frown than what Nagi thought was humanly possible, another ew in his book. Man, his coach was depressingly ugly.

Jinpachi Ego was a tired man whose tiredness plummeted into exhaustion every time he had to interact with his hellspawn of a cousin, you. “[name], cut it out and get to cleaning. You aren’t going to get any credits or paychecks if you continue standing there wasting all our time telling people your empty plans of ‘plotting my downfall’,” Ego spoke with his monotone voice, making faux quotes with his hands.

“Oh, shut up old man. You’re literally decaying compared to me. Get to bed, grandpa,” You restored, visibly pissed off but immediately switching your facial expression to a cheery one like a lightswitch as you bid goodbye to the three teenage boys before you and running off to “beat that bowl-cut’s ass”, as you put it.

“Dude, you look like you just met an angel and fell in love!” Bachira laughed in Reo’s face, doubling over and rolling on the floor.

“I think… that’s because I just did,” Reo mumbled, awe still on his face as he blankly stared at the television screen Ego was just on.

—

Once again, Nagi just wanted to go to bed but had his plans interrupted by a very desperate Reo Mikage.

“Come on! Nagi, you just don’t get it. They’re my soulmate, I’m sure of it!”

“Why can't you go alone? Why do you have to drag me into you trying to ask them out? Aren't I just gonna be in the way?”

“Nagi,” Reo whined, pathetically dragging out his name. “I need you there for moral support. I'll piss myself otherwise, you know that.”

“Yeah, and I’ll be sure to laugh at you too when they reject you.”

“I'm gonna punch you.”

“Whatever, just this once, you hear me?”

“Aye, aye, captain!” Reo saluted his closest friend, skipping to the cafeteria to find you. To be honest, he was unsure of whether or not you’d be there but considering the fact you’ve been cleaning the cafeteria at the same times for two days in a row, Reo thought he had a pretty good chance. But of course, luck wouldn't always be on the side of the rich and famous.

Nagi and Reo walked into the large, open room only to find the lights completely out, without a single sound echoing throughout the cold. An eerie feeling took over the previous excitement that Reo felt that evening, accompanying it with a chill down both of their spines.

“They aren't here, let's go back,” Nagi urged. He would never admit it to anyone's face, but the cafeteria was starting to give him the creeps. “Bring Bachira with you next time, he’d be over the moon to help you.”

“No! Wait! This place is creepy as fuck but we haven't even looked yet! Let me just turn on the lights—”

“See? You should be more like your friend here. Why are you in such a hurry to leave? I don't bite!” A voice popped out from right behind Nagi, causing him to physically jump into the air and trip over and onto his knees before violently whipping around, coming face to face with you manically cackling at his reaction. “Man, you're easy to scare!”

“Hi! You're er— [name], right? That's what Ego called you last night,” Reo greeted, “I'm Reo Mikage.”

“Yeah,” Nagi chimed in from on the floor. “He's Reo Mikage.” Reo really wished he followed through with punching Nagi in the face. “He's the heir of the Mikage Corp.”

“Mikage… Mikage… Mikage…” You muttered, trying to remember why that name sounded so oddly familiar to you. Is it the name of a restaurant you went to? No, he said ‘Corp’, that wouldn't make any sense.

“That means he's super rich by the way,” Nagi added one last time before ditching his awestruck friend in the otherwise empty cafeteria that he doubted anyone would go to anytime soon; it was almost nine in the evening.

“Oh my God, you're rich?” You gushed, suddenly very interested in what Reo had to say for himself—well, even more interested. It was like a dream for you; some really pretty dude coming in looking for you specifically, ignoring the part where he thought you were a ghost, of course. But having this same pretty boy turn out to be a super mega rich heir and also be super mega athletic? Jackpot. You won in life. It's God’s apology for making you be related to that bastard Jinpachi Ego. This is your main character moment and you will make sure that boy will be yours before any other trashy gold digger other than you picks him up and takes him away. “That's like, the hottest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“That's not the only thing you're after, right?” Reo cautiously asked. It slightly hurt knowing that you might not actually be interested in him, but only after his wallet instead. It wouldn't be the first time that's happened, but it would be the first time it's happened with someone he was genuinely interested in.

“No, no! Of course not! You're pretty funny and well uh, really cute so even if you were broke I’d shoot my shot.”

If you spoke any more, Reo thought that his cheeks would fucking burst from how hot they felt and he was more than sure his face was a burning crimson red. It was suddenly as hot as a midsummer's day with the sun shining right above his brushed, violet hair, causing his entire body to sweat. “Holy shit I could marry you right now.”

“Hell yeah, let's get married, Reo!” You exclaimed with the same ecstatic eagerness as the boy whose hands you were grabbing onto while jumping up and down.

“[name], get to cleaning. You are not getting married anytime soon.” Before you could start making up your vows on the spot, a shart voice cut through the moment with the click of a button as the television in the cafeteria turned on once again, displaying a displeased, disturbed, and beyond annoyed Jinpachi Ego who was most definitely not pissed off because he can't get himself a partner like how his cousin can.

[inposterumcumgaudio]

Could you rant about Arthur and Sally’s relationship? It’s my favorite part of WHF and I’d love to hear your opinions about it

So before we get into Sally and Arthur specifically, I need you to understand something about how shit was. How shit still is in some places, where people are less terminally online and where there's generational ignorance.

Now you and I understand that a wide age gap in a relationship is a red flag. We've seen enough r/relationship_advice posts to know a guy who goes after young girls does so because they are easy to manipulate and mold. But we only know this thanks to the hundreds of nineteen-year-old girls posting about how mean their 30-year-old boyfriends are being to them and everyone else telling them exactly why that is.

In the world that these girls come from, the attention and admiration of an older man is quite flattering. Especially if you are a very pretty girl, but this man is telling you how smart and mature you are.

But I need to make sure this is understood too: I do not believe Mr. Hastings was grooming Sally. I don't think he was out trying to bag a teenage girl.

What I think what happened is, Sally enjoys the attention of men - older or otherwise - as she sees it as her greatest power in the world, especially since she thinks girls aren't worth her time. Arthur remembers specifically that boys would stop to watch her go by and she "always got a kick out of that". And without her mother to try to dissuade her from being so cavalier with this charm, she uses it indiscriminately with every man she meets. Including Arthur's dad.

Now Mr. Hastings should have had the good sense not to think anything of it. But again, it's a time where we don't have reddit for him to know about power imbalances in relationships. It's a time where you have to pick your partners based on geography which means even the prettiest girl has to compromise and pick the best of her options. And he's also a widower so there's not really any conflict as far as he can see since he's not married and Sally is sixteen and therefore leaving school soon which more or less makes her an adult as far as anyone thinks in the 40's.

It shouldn't have happened, but I can see how it did.

And I can see why Arthur gets so angry with her about it without ever really blaming his father for his part in it. To his thinking, she treated his father the same way she treats all her "friends" (all male "friends" because she thinks she's not like other girls) so it's no wonder Mr. Hastings took it to the logical conclusion.

And the thing is, you never actually see Sally blame Mr. Hastings either. She'll say she didn't have a choice, but she never says Mr. Hastings forced her. She doesn't blame herself either. She says sometimes things just happen whether you want them to or not. Which I think means Sally doesn't think of this situation as rape so much as a misunderstanding or, more likely, a transaction that she was only just then told what the exchange was.

Because her whole existence is transactional. She only does things for people if she can expect to call in a favor later. The way she frames it is that she had no choice because her housing hinged on pleasing Mr. Hastings. But she does indeed find somewhere to go, once Arthur finds out.

So this is the crux of conflict surrounding their relationship.

But I actually think this is tangential to their core personality flaws which would have prevented them from ever being happily together, Mr. Hastings or not. It's just the thing both of them fixate on to sabotage themselves.

They're both stuck on the vision of each other as children. And it's literally as they turn sixteen and are about to embark on adulthood when everything changes. The stakes are higher now, but because they diverged at that point, they can't really see each other beyond what role they played for each other as children.

To Sally, Arthur is her safe space because she can expect him to give her whatever she wants without expecting anything in return. He's the only guy in her world who "doesn't want just one thing" and seems to see her as more than a pretty face. She has all these memories of hiding away with Arthur somewhere and commiserating over their shared misfortunes.

Arthur, on the other hand, remembers all these same moments of deep friendship with Sally, but also remembers that "she was always so wonderful when she was there, but a girl like Sally always has so many better places to be, and better people to be with, or worse people that she prefers anyway for some reason. And sometimes she’d just hide in Percy’s old room in the attic and not come down."

He'd always played a role of convenience for her. Maybe that was okay when they were children, when a gangly dork would not get to hang around a popular pretty girl at all otherwise. But they're not in school anymore and the situation's a lot more serious, even disregarding that Arthur's feelings about Sally have matured.

Meanwhile, Sally's feelings about him really haven't. She thinks of him often, but only in terms of her missing the comfort he was when they were young. She never supposes about how he might have changed or who he might have become in her absence. To her, he exists in stasis and (if he'd just forget about the thing with his father) would be exactly the same as he ever was.

The great irony is that when they meet again, Arthur is the one who needs something. And if Sally could just have given it to him without asking for something in return first, they might have had a shot at more. Probably not a successful relationship because they are who they are, but it wouldn't have mercifully ended at her apartment door like it does.

I think it's the kiss that does it in, really.

Arthur has spent all this time playing court eunuch to her Queen of Wellington Wells, all this time with her charming every guy she comes across (including his dad) and never giving that same kind of attention to him.

And only now, when he's off on some fool's errand to make a trade with her, does she finally favor him with that kind of gesture.

He can't trust it. As frustrating as it was to be ignored as an option and as much as he always wanted it, to be acknowledged as one now? It makes him just another one of Sally's "friends" and how committed to any of them was she? It's part of the transaction.

It's really quite unfortunate that this is also the one time Sally ever wanted to do something for someone with no expectation of a returned favor, but necessarily couldn't. If she could have got the Letter of Transit for Arthur without asking him to fetch the cod liver oil, she would have. And if she could have done that, it wouldn't have been a transaction at all and then Arthur maybe could have felt secure in and special for that kiss.

It's better this way.

[tonydaddingham]

lmao guess whos activated ✨blathering oaf mode✨ again (clue: its me)

(cut because length and spoilers, read at your own peril)

so this post got me spiralling into detective mode again and yes i know douglas suggesting it might have been war/pollution but i have certified trust issues™ and i dont believe that for one darn second

BUT

i also don't think it's a kiss. lemme explain horrifically

so i took another look at the two frames we have of The Leaked Smooch™ and the background has a lot to be desired (if you take into account that the boys are taking up most of the frame (duh), plus already fairly average quality video PLUS compression from when i captured it)

but i think we can safely rule out that The Leaked Smooch™ doesn't happen in the theatre here, mainly because even though the quality is bad, the glasses in the Smooch™ are crowley's modern ones, not the ones we saw him wear in the 1941 flashback in s1, plus his hair is differently styled... so yes can pretty confidently say this is not the kiss we are looking for

so i wanted to pinpoint what era the theatre bit is actually set in, and therefore i set about identifying the theatre in question. turns out kids that im not a good researcher (despite it literally being my job) so it took FUCKING AGES but i eventually found set photos of the boys entering a theatre, specifically the hippodrome in bo'ness:

now this was a turn-up for the books, because that's crowley's 1941 costume right??? id recognise that iconic fit anywhere. az's costume is trickier to pinpoint bc he wears the same damn thing but pretty sure this is a match to the church scene:

so we know from s1 that we have the church scene yada yada, and crowley offers aziraphale a lift home... which we know he accepts given that the s2 trailer gives us the ✨Dinner of '41✨ scene:

the other bit however to this puzzle is that there ALSO a set pic of aziraphale at the hippodrome in his magician's outfit. given the frame from the trailer where he looks like he's about to brick it going on stage, surrounded by lovely burlesque girlies and dame siân phillips in period dress, AND there were extras on the set dressed in ww2-type army uniforms, so i think it can be fairly surmised that this bit also occurs in the 40s

so my thought process is that we're getting two separate scenes (kinda) from the 40s, we have the church bit from s1 plus the Dinner of '41 scene as its own entity, but then, like

aziraphale is doing his magic act as a side hustle to this burlesque show? and crowley turns up to watch him, hiding out up in the box?

if we follow this completely made up narrative ive just come up with, aziraphale, im assuming, finishes up and gets changed into his normal clothes, and then goes up to this box to meet crowley?

to this end, i captured and slowed down the bit in the opening sequence where aziraphale and crowley (sorry douglas, not buying it) are in the box... and-

now to my eye, the motion of them in the clip looks like they are dancing? i don't have the source to hand but we've had it confirmed that a choreographer was brought into s2, not impossible az would go up to meet crowley after his magic act, whilst there's still something going on on the stage, and the two end up dancing or something? and az bless his heart gets spooked from that?

im reasonably convinced that this might be the origin of the 'you go too fast for me' line - something happens and ultimately aziraphale gets spooked given that he's only just realised he has Feelings for crowley, and so my boy fucking legs it (a lil post i made a while ago about this exact scenario if you'd care to peruse)

other thing to note:

there is a figure that is lurking behind aziraphale and crowley in the box, which looks like it moves specifically in sync with crowley, so it could be a shadow, or someone/thing is in the box that they aren't aware of 👀 so maybe this thing (?) witnesses it all? whatever went down in the box?

so in my addled feral mind, ive come up with a speculation that even as im breathing life into it sounds unhinged and so implausible it's hilarious -

i put to you, members of the jury, that something was meant to happen in that box, and it didn't... that something being that crowley makes a move of some kind - kiss, dance, hug, declaration, WHATEVER - and aziraphale was meant to accept it/reciprocate/idk, but didn't.

and that fucks with the plan, and for lack of better terminology creates a nexus event (lmao thanks loki) which in turns starts screwing with other events, somewhat like i theorised in this post here tehe

are aziraphale and crowley, essentially, the earth's endgame? idk about u but ive read enough angst fics to know that it's not inconceivable that crowley and aziraphale's mere existence may have been part of god's plan to represent free will on earth, defend humankind, and give balance and meaning to it

so what would happen if aziraphale essentially rejected that? did the most human thing possible and resisted the plan? idk i feel at this point i am just writing a fic and this will all be ludicrously incorrect bUT half the fun is torturing yourself over your own theories right 🙃

[onepiece-oc-archives]

is is ever mentioned when you're officially an adult in the one piece world? because Luffy sets sail at 17 and Koby joins the marines with 16, so perhaps you're considered an adult by that age? But according to Sabo you become a world noble at 18? (aren't you one either way if you're born into a noble family?) But then again, if Sabo wasn't (as some say) planned from the beginning, perhaps one should not place much value in this reasoning - idk. It rather feels like you're considered an adult at 16/17... since the other younger strawhats were also more or less on their own out their (or in Sanji's case having an actual job)... and then again there's Bonney who is 12 by the time she arrives in Sabaody with her own crew so... then there's that^^ (but she might be an expection since she usually looks like she's an adult)

Hi, thanks a lot for your question!

I don't think there's a set age for when you're an adult and in a lot of cases it probably doesn't really matter. Why? Because we're in a world of pirates and many children and teenagers have to learn how to fend for themselves early on, that's just the cruel reality. I'll try to give some ideas regarding the examples you gave and then name my headcanons for what I think the more "official" age limits might be.

First of all, I'd say Bonney is outright disqualified because of her devil fruit. One Piece doesn't really have a form of ID, so they can't check her age, but even if they could... you can't tell me Bonney wouldn't have a fake ID or get her way either way because she's a pirate.

Luffy setting sail at 17 is most likely because Ace sat sail at 17. Also, Luffy is Luffy, so he probably doesn't care about age limits.

I wouldn't say that Sanji having a job is really an issue here because cabin boys are common amongst pirates and so are kids helping out chefs in kitchens. Also, he begged for that job on his first ship and then got given the job by Zeff when they opened Baratie. They did open Baratie together, even though Sanji was a kid, so I can't see him not getting a job here. Who knows if he actually got paid either. I don't think we can apply our definition of what constitutes a job in this case.

Now with Sabo and Koby is where it gets interesting, so this is where I'm gonna get into my own headcanons.

I think the One Piece world might be working with similar age limits/requirements as we do here in Germany. That means you're legally considered of age when you're 18, but you already get to make some important legal decisions when you're 16, very rarely also as early as 14, usually with a legal guardian's approval.

Why do I think this is the case? Being of age with 18 lines up with what you said about Sabo and becoming a Celestial Dragon. Yes, you're born a Celestial Dragon but you probably only get the full privileges of one when you're of age - so, most likely 18. Koby joining the military 16 wouldn't work here in Germany, but it's only one year off and I'm pretty sure the bar used to be lower - which, One Piece takes place in a more historical-esque setting, so we can probably assume 16 would be the minimum age requirement. Especially with the Marines being this present in day-to-day life and supported by the Government.

Why did I say Germany instead of any other country with the same age limit? Well, on one hand because I live here, but also because of one specific reason: Alcohol. Usopp (at least in the live action) got completely wasted at Baratie and I'm pretty sure Baratie is a place that would check your ID if you wanted a drink (at least if it's running normally, not like when Koby and Helmeppo showed up). Usopp is 16 but he still managed to get wasted, most famously off that huge bowl of fruit punch or whatever that was. I'm very sure that that stuff would fall into the category of drinks you'd be allowed to get at 16 in Germany. Light alcohol like wine and beer at 16, hard stuff at 18. Some more hints towards it being like that in the One Piece world too are that Zoro and Nami had no problems getting rum, which is hard alcohol, and they're 19 and 18 respectively. Helmeppo was also easily able to order shots for himself and Koby and he's 20 at that time. What we can definitely be sure of is that the limit isn't 21.

Whatever the age requirements are, I believe that, while they would be universal for anything involving the Marines or the Government and probably be enforced too, in the realm of pirates they don't really matter. Like, as a bartender, are you really going to deny a pirate crew some vodka for their 14-year-old cabin boy? It's either you give alcohol to a kid and maybe pay a fine or you lose a limb - I think the answer is very clear. Different kingdoms could probably adjust the age requirements to their liking, but I don't think they could lower them too much. But I don't know, that's just speculation at this point.

All in all, being in adult in the world of One Piece probably depends a lot more on the respect people have for you and how independent you are than your age.

I hope these rambles helped at all - have a lovely day!

[alarrytale]

Hello Marte! I´m sure you saw or at least read what SC said about not owning 1D name and regreting it and I´m suprised it´s not talked about at your blog as well. I can guess all opinions about this from literally every larrie blog are basically the same so I guess you share the same - we know SC is evil and he would put boys through much bigger hell if he´d own the band´s name. Anyway what I wanted to share is that since that interview I got a feeling that if there will be a 1D reunion, it will be when SC will be gone for good like you know what I mean. Because boys will make sure they won´t make any more money to him with their reunion and so when the reunion will happen it will be because they want to not because they have to. So I guess this will happen in like 20 years according to SC´s age. And second thing is that I have a bad feeling from the way SC once again prooved he´s in fact an evil person and took not only boys but also other artists just like a product, there are a lot of secrets and traumas that will come out when he will be gone. So I just got into thinking there will be a document about him and it will be something as shocking as that one about M.J*ckson few years ago. No idea how much the music industry will change in like 20-25 years so not sure how much expose will be allowed but when talking about SC at least Louis and Liam (aka those two have the most trauma inside imo and with Louis is even worse because of his closet and bbg) will surely tell everything if they will be allowed by that time. You know, I just have a feeling we no way know anything actually what SC had done and it will be revealed after he´ll be gone.

So Simon Cowell can’t use the band’s name, create anything with their likeness, & can’t tour if all of them don’t agree, but we larries still think Harry & Louis are under a contract with Simon that are forcing them in the closet? I'm confused now

Hi, anons!

Sorry, i've been a bit busy and i can't keep up with all my asks.

Yes, we all agree that SC is evil and that he's done despicable things to a bunch of his acts in the name of making money. What i'm not so sure about is why he said what he said.

We know SC went on that podcast (or whatever it was) to get promo for his new boyband show, and he got the promo he wanted because of the provoking statement he made. So it must have been calculated and intentional. I also wonder if he admitted to having regrets and wanting something he can't have, because he knows he's got the last laugh, because Sony (his parent company when he ran Syco), owns and controls their images. SC also makes it appear like 1D is the one with the power, and that they're now free of SC. Which they are, because SC was just a middleman between 1D and Sony, but they are not free from the contracts SC made them sign. Not at all.

I'm also not entirely sure that we can trust SC's words and that everything he says is true. I think people in this fandom jump to conclusion a bit too fast, because he said something they want to hear, instead of asking themselves why he said what he did and how that's serving SC himself. SC also said that he doesn’t think there will be a 1D reunion. If 1D still got deliverables to Sony (a greatest hits album was reported on as part of their contract, and that isn't fulfilled yet), then they might be able to force them back together at some point (when they can't squeeze more out of H...). If 1D owns the One Direction name and use, that isn't of much help when Syco (and Sony) controls the images of it's band members.

We also know from contracts and from tabloid reports that anyone under a Cowe*l contract aren't allowed to speak ill of him or put him in a bad light. He can also use people contracted to him to defend himself from critisism (i think that was reported on in a tabloid one time). Eta. found it.

The contract has hundreds of clauses, one of which states it to be enforceable anywhere “in the world and solar system”.

Clause 32.4 says artists must not make any statement which “may be considered unduly negative, critical or derogatory of the Company – including its personnel and, in particular, Simon Cowell”.

So when Helene Horlyck is out there singing SC's praises, remember she was under contract on txf at the time...