#also I know this is both due to his league lore and also going completely off the rails from it

[ezdotjpg]

also can I just say. I miss viktor

[tribadismes]

7, 10, 11, 34 for the tv show ask!

Hey love ! Thank you so much for asking !!

7. have you ever been inspired to start a new show based on gifs or memes it has produced ?

oh definitely ! probably the case for 1/4 shows i've watched !

10. what’s one show you thought you’d love but turned out to really hate ?

There's this show called Work in Progress that sounded right up my alley, it's written & stars a butch with ocd so you know basically my life story, i was really excited about it, but it ended up making me extremely uncomfortable and was a huge disappointment. The premise is already... really icky since it's about this 40 something butch lesbian who starts dating a 20 yo pre-transion trans man, but you know it could have been handled in a good way i guess ? but it wasn't, it really really wasn't, and the main character is so unlovable and, yeah, big flop, wouldn't recommend, oh at all. I was also really disappointed in Dead End : Paranormal Park, it's an adult horror/fantasy cartoon featuring a gay trans man lead and his autistic bestie and talking dog. I love adult cartoons and liked the premise and animation style so i was like this is gonna be good but it's not. I watched it less than six months ago and barely remember it so i can't really elaborate lmao but i remember the plot being both messy and underwhelming (proof : can barely tell you what the plot even is) and also that the worldbuilding was extremely lackluster, which is a huge dealbreaker when we're talking fantasy like ?? Needless to say i dropped both these shows after the first season and never looked back.

11. which TV show has the best musical soundtrack, in your opinion ?

if we're talking serious good original soundtrack obviously Twin Peaks comes to mind... if we're judging by how obsessed i am with it then... Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, oh surprise

34. what are your top 5 shows right now ?

i loooove that question and i will even make a proper ranking for yah ! I'm judging by how often I think about them and how much youtube content i consume around them lmfao.

5. A League Of Their Own : best show of 2022, favorite lesbian show since oitnb probably, actually haven't gone into a youtube rabbit hole about it (yet) but i really wanna rewatch it soon, also my thirst for butches in period clothing is endless

4. Arcane : i am obsessed with this show, watched it twice in like a week, it's amazing truly, so fucking well-written, if you're into fantasy, animation, crazy women and butches with big muscles you should definitely watch it. I don't think a show has ever emotionally scarred me like that and i loved every second of it.

3. Young Royals : i regularly rewatch scenes from this show, i'm just fascinated with the acting... also i love their love, makes me wanna fall in love again (yes i have been using it as a coping mechanism since my break up to remember love is beautiful and shit)

2. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend : i mean what can i say that i haven't already said jjjkjkjkjarf the thing is it's the only show on this little list that i watched for the first time a really really long time ago (4, 5 years ago ?) and that has finished airing (cause my obsession for the other shows is mostly explained by : i'm waiting for the next season/episode) but i'm just obsessed with the music man, i listen to it on a daily basis almost

Helluva Boss : indie adult cartoon (free on youtube), hence why it's almost unknown except if you're an embarrassing cartoon dweeb like me lmfao but it's about to be a lot more famous since a show by the same creator in the same universe was picked up by i believe hbo and is going to air sometime this year. The best way to describe the tone of the show is, it's like Bojack Horseman but in hell. It's. So. So. Good. It has everything i love : really really dark humour, fucked up characters, drama, incredibly toxic gay ships, tons of lore, great world-building, foreshadowing, and most importantly a completely hectic release schedule (due to it being indie) that makes my adhd go absolutely fucking bonkers

[writingreadingdaydreaming]

okay after your post now i feel like i can go all out asking abt pickers and rice because you mentioned before that they’re both mothers and about their pregnancies??

You absolutely can go all out, ask absolutely anything you want to!

Content warning for some discussions of pregnancy/birth trauma + discussions of medical issues

So Picker’s pregnancy is really not all that exciting in terms of actual plot. He’s with John Stones, they’re engaged, and Pickers gets pregnant around the end of the Euros (cause you gotta celebrate somehow). He’s out for the whole season, because he’s a keeper so there’s extra precautions in place cause of the nature of the position. His pregnancy is pretty normal, nothing too unusual happens. He gives birth to a healthy baby boy, Alfie, sometime around the 8-14th of April 2022. This also makes him the first goalkeeper to ever get pregnant while playing in a top five league.

As for Declan - he’s got a bit more lore surrounding him.

So he actually got pregnant as a teenager. He was 15 when he found out he was pregnant, and in this universe, this is when he gets released by Chelsea (and the reason why). He has a super difficult pregnancy - extreme morning sickness, migraines, extreme food aversion, extreme mood swings. The absolute works. Declan and his parents keep taking him to the doctor cause Declan just knows something is happening with the pregnancy or at least that something will happen. But, because of his age, a lot of doctors are judgmental and jump to conclusions, being completely unhelpful and putting even more unnecessary stress on Declan, who is at his wits end by the time his water breaks. Mason, being his childhood best friend and fellow omega, stays by his side the whole pregnancy, regularly bringing him food and medicine and blankets and whatever else he needed. Mason is also there when Declan goes into labour around the 10-15 of November 2014. Declan’s labour is TRAUMATIC. The original plan was a c-section, but by the time he had gotten to the hospital, he was already far too progressed for it to be safely set up. So Declan is led to a hospital nest, a space that doctors use to keep omegas calm under stressful circumstances by providing the familiar comfort of nesting. When he gives birth to his son, initially he’s not crying. Declan haemorrhages, and loses enough blood that he passes out, before he hears his baby start crying. When he comes to, he’s in a hospital bed, and his first thought is obviously ‘is my baby alive?’. He freaks out, and Mason and Declan’s mom have to calm him down and tell him that the baby is fine, he started crying, he’s okay, he’s just in the nursery. After Declan and his son, Callum, get out of the hospital, Declan develops a phobia of nesting due to the trauma. On a more positive note - one of his old Chelsea coaches helps his family get in touch with West Ham, who set up a trial with Declan when he’s 16, and Callum is around 4 months old. At first, they’re hesitant about giving him a pro contract because of his history and the fact he just had a baby, but when they see his obvious merit and the work he puts in to both strengthen himself and rehabilitate his body after giving birth, they keep him on. This also means that Declan Rice was the first mother to ever represent England since Ian Wright.

If you have any questions, ask away!!!

[lemonmangosorbet]

Hello, I am back with my hot takes (aka in-depth analysis) of Arcane episode 4 as I rewatch it and pay excrutiating attention to every scene with Jayce and/or Viktor (actually, I rewatched the episode last week, but then spent hours just taking screenshots of every frame, so I forgot everything I wanted to write in this post sdghkjf)

This one ended up being.....long, so I’ve popped it under a ‘read more’ so it doesn’t clog up people’s feeds - I hope you’ll still read it!

* First point: how many years have passed between ep.3 and ep.4? Going by how much both Jinx and Ekko have grown up, I’ve gotta say it’s been at least 10 years?? But I’m mad that they skipped all that time when they could have been showing us Jayce & Viktor working together in the lab! I’d literally pay to see a spin-off series that’s just Jayce & Viktor messing around with Hextech for those 10 years between the two episodes :’)

* I don’t understand anyone who can watch Arcane and think that Jayce is egotistical??? The first few minutes of this episode set him up as someone who is modest - Heimerdinger tells him the council have decided Jayce should give the Progress Day speech and Jayce’s instant reaction is “m-me?!” and he stutters and is flustered. These are not the actions of a man who’s got a big ego (Honestly reminds me of some irl mathematicians who dedicate their lives to solving particular famous problems, and when they do solve them, they do not want the fame or glory)

* I also can’t help noticing (and loving) how uncomfortable Jayce looks in any big social situation, and it happens TWICE in this episode. Both times he seeks out someone he knows (first Caitlyn, then Mel) and end up talking in a 1-on-1 conversation with them to get away from the crowds. This man is an introvert - I can feel it in my own introvert bones

* On my first watch of Arcane, I didn’t think much of Viktor using the Hexclaw during the presentation, but now that I know a bit of League of Legends lore, I’m like (Beyonce meme) THE HEXCLAW???? sdghkjf (I guess Viktor using the Hexclaw now is supposed to be foreshadowing for Machine Herald)

* The way Jayce and Viktor look to EACH OTHER FOR APPROVAL after their presentation to Heimerdinger. brb, just crying and throwing up thinking about it

* Heimerdinger telling Jayce & Viktor to spend 10 years refining the new Hextech portable devices really hurts. I understand it from Heimerdinger’s POV - it’s dangerous to put such powerful devices in the hands of everyone. However, Heimerdinger has a much longer life-span, so to him a decade is a blink of the eye. It’s not like that for Viktor (I suspect he already knows he’s sick but not how sick because they do show him coughing in this episode). Viktor knows his time is limited and he wants to help his fellow Zaunites while he still has a chance to see it. Seeing his disappointment hurts. Seeing Jayce’s big concerned eyes while he looks at Viktor hurts ;-;

* When Jayce has that 1-on-1 conversation with Mel it is yet again obvious how modest he is. She’s telling him he could be a leader of Piltover and he’s like “Me?? Are you sure???” This man never intended on becoming a leader; he just wanted to play science in his lab

* Just before Jayce’s speech when Viktor looks sick with worry because Jayce isn’t there yet, and then Jayce tells him he should join him to make the address and Viktor’s like “in front of all those people?!” If Jayce is an introvert then Viktor is the super-introvert lmao

* Arcane did something very clever in this scene. Jayce tells Viktor to join him to give the speech because it’s their Hextech dream - Jayce is not trying to steal any of the credit from Viktor (he always says they are partners in Hextech). However, there is a frame of Viktor standing on his own and then (due to the forced perspective) when Jayce puts his Man of Progress mug down, it completely blocks Viktor from view. Definitely foreshadowing of what will happen in the future - Viktor will be expelled from the Academy, become the Machine Herald, and the world will forget his involvment in Hextech and assume it was all Jayce

* Mister Jayce “oh god I’m forcing this smile and I hate public speaking” Talis

* When Jayce is giving his Progress Day speech and he says “No one in my life expected very much of me” and the camera immediately cuts to Viktor smiling fondly at Jayce (because Viktor was the one who believed in Jayce at his lowest moment)

* Viktor looked so disappointed when Jayce didn’t reveal the new Hextech innovations they’d been working on and I feel like we were robbed by not seeing how that conversation went down between them after the Progress Day speech

* When they’re brought before the council and Viktor tries to stand and speak up, but Jayce stops him, I know a lot of people have mixed feelings about Jayce’s actions, but he stops Viktor from speaking only so he can take responsibility for the explosion and theft. I am pretty convinced that Jayce is trying to protect Viktor

* This scene is pretty key at setting up Jayce an idealist. He wants to suspend all Hextech use and research to safeguard the population because he thinks it’s the right thing to do. But then the council are like “but think of the economy!” and Jayce is like “what about the safety of the people?”. The man wants to do what’s in the interest of the greater good, and this is gonna keep happening throughout the rest of the series

* When Mel suggests to the rest of the council that Jayce become a new council member, there are two important things that happen: 1) Jayce is reluctant and it’s evident not only in the way he looks, but he actually says ‘no’ out loud. And 2) when Mel is making her proposition, the camera cuts to a shot taken from just behind Viktor and you can HEAR AND SEE HIM take this deep breath, like he is extremely nervous for Jayce and what him becoming a Councillor would mean for them and their Hextech work.

Ok, I think that’s it. Sorry this ended up being so long, but if you read until the end, then THANKS! ;3;

[tricktster]

the twilight series suddenly makes 100% more sense if you read them under a specific premise that, i contend, is heavily supported by the text:

Much like Amy’s diary in Gone Girl, the books in the Twilight Saga are verbatim reproductions of in-universe diary entries carefully and deliberately created and curated by badass unreliable narrator Bella Swan as a means to achieve immortality.

Prerequisite assumptions:

1) Bella actively and persistently wants to become a vampire, both diagetically and (I contend) non-diagetically. The average vampire novel format often fails to capture realistic human behavior in one highly specific area: the protagonists are frequently mortals who grapple with the choice of whether to become a vampire. This is stupid, because being a vampire would obviously be dope as hell; particularly in the Twilight Universe, where vampires are not required to take a human life to survive, and indeed, have the capacity to live full and rewarding lives while integrated* into the human community.

(*integrated-ish; see Assumption 6)

2. There are too many coincidences for Bella to have encountered the Cullens by sheer chance, only to be the ONE person that Edward can’t live without (due largely to the novelty factor of not being able to read her ding-dang thoughts.)

3. Diagetically, the Volturi don’t even know Bella’s psyonic gifts until New Moon, but we also know that the Volturi scour the globe for recruits to enlist into the protection of their governing body.

4. Nobody wants to be a voiceless cog in a bureaucracy.

5. Nobody, and especially nobody in high school, wants to be a high school student forever.

6. Vampires in twilight are, as a group, cartoonishly terrible at disguising their true nature.

7. Forks is a backwater town approximately 3.5 hours away from the biotech hub of Seattle.

7. George W. Bush and Dick Cheney can eat my farts and they deserve to be preserved in this snapshot of an innocent author’s mind slowly unraveling.

Proposed timeline:

In 1993, there is a key system meltdown at a improvised biohacking startup in Seattle, rendering all innovative genetic modification experiments into a puddle of brown sludge that nobody can figure out how to dispose of per Federal regs, since they don’t even know what it is.

The broke founder of the startup, who for the purposes of this timeline I will call Jeff Bezos because that’s who it was, eventually grows tired of all the discussion about what to do, and just pops it in a barrel, drives a few hours out of town, and dumps it in a pond.

Bella Swan, a small child, is hanging out at a park with her family friend Jacob Black (and a ton of his friends) when they all decide to wade in a slightly murky pond. Thereafter, they are transformed.

Bella grows up as a normal, highly powerful mutant with a +20 to deception checks and wisdom saves. She lives in Arizona, but up until 2002, summers in Forks. While in Forks, she picks up on the local lore about a family of vampires who don’t eat people.

Because Forks (population: 17 + Charlie’s mustache) is boring, Bella bones up on the only interesting thing about it, i.e. Vampire Hometown baybeeeee.

In 2000, George W. Bush gets elected president, and his evangelical politics and general bumbling ineptitude informs Bella’s opinions on authoritative governmental entities.

In 2001, the Cullens make their intention to move back to Forks known, but they take a while because they need to pack all their stupid graduation hats and volvos, etc.

Later in 2001, a psychic Volturi scout rolls through Forks to ensure that nobody within living memory recalls the Cullens, and notices an anomaly in the psychic field.

The scout goes to confront Bella about joining the Volturi, and Bella immediately clocks him as a vampire, because vampires in the Twilight Universe fucking suck at looking/acting human. This leaves the scout in a bind: she’s too valuable to kill, but she’s a pre-teen, and therefore too young to be transformed per Volturi authority.

The scout warns her he’ll have to kill her if she discusses the existence of vampires with any human. He then tells her he’ll be back in five years, and begins to sweet talk her on how good life will be when she’s a vampire, beautiful, immortal, powerful, etc. Bella asks if she has to kill, and dude says “nah, actually there’s a bunch of vegetarian vampires who are moving back here soon. Fucking nerds, but otherwise they’re doing well.” Bella is all about becoming a vampire, because Bella is a rational actor.

Bella moves to Arizona, and as the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are unjustifiedly initiated, she recognizes that while she DOES want to be a vampire, she does NOT want to be a foot soldier in any war that she can’t support. She needs a plan.

In 2004, Bella is watching her step-dad’s minor league baseball game when it occurs to her. On her own, she’s a target for the Volturi, but if she had some people to watch her back, she might be okay. Of course, nobody fucks with the Volturi on behalf of some rando human. She’ll need to con her way into a coven who’ll have her back and also give her that +10 to constitution via vampiric transformation, which she desperately wants because she’s a rational actor. And where are the non-volturi vampires that might have her back? Fucking Forks.

Bella moves to Forks in 2004, and upon seeing the Cullens, she immediately clocks them as vampires even though they left their “we’re all vampires” booty shorts at home, because, as previously discussed, vampires in the Twilight Universe fucking suck at looking/acting human.

Bella notes that all the vampires but one are paired off in heterosexual bliss, and takes note of the straggler as a potential vehicle to vampyrdom.

Bella figures out that Eddie can read everyone’s mind but hers, because Edward Cullen fucking sucks at looking/acting like a human who can’t read minds. Bella further observes that Eddie has a huge undead boner for her.

She’s found her mark. Now she just needs to convince him that she’s better off as part of the coven than on her own. Problem: Eddie’s a self-pitying insufferably guilt-striken perpetual adolescent who keeps himself busy by feeling sorry for himself because he’s a vampire, angst angst angst etc etc. Also, I think he’s Catholic, so add some more guilt in. She’ll have to win him over by convincing him that they’re destined to be soulmates.

What does a vampire used to having complete insight into everyone’s mind but his crush’s want? A method to know what she really thinks of him. Bella begins writing a “diary” knowing that there’s no way in hell Eddie won’t sneak in and read it. So she Gone Girls it, and begins to lay a trap to lure him in. That first diary? Twilight.

This was just in the movie but a stoner chases her around with a worm on a stick. Nothing to do with this theory, I just like that part of the movie. Where’s my spinoff about that guy?

Eddie won’t give Bella what she wants (eternal life) by the end of book 1, even though she asks him to EXTREMELY POLITELY. Time to hit the diary with some more promises of undying love.

Bella reconnects with her old friend Jacob and the rest of the Mutated By Jeff Bezos Boys. Alas, they cannot turn her into a physically powerful sexy immortal with a bite, so she’s still stuck with plan A) win over a whole family of vampires with big Mormon energy. It’s the long con.

Edward’s angst abruptly takes a swing towards terminal. He’s absolutely your classic sadboy, perhaps because Bella now has one (1) friend that he knows about.

When Eddie begins to drift away on account of Angst, Bella conjurs up a secondary love interest who, coincidentally, is ALSO a sexy supernatural entity, and is much less coincidentally just Jacob.

We should establish here that Edward is like a 107 year old white dude and so even though Diary!Bella pretends not to see it, Metatextual Frame Story!Bella knows that dude is super racist.

Jacob Black is three things: 1. Like Bella, a mutant (although one with shapeshifting abilities), 2.one of Bella’s oldest and most trusted confidants, and 3. down to clown on an elderly teenage vampire who keeps stereotyping him. Sure, says Jacob, I’ll take the form of a werewolf. He seriously thinks we’re all just beastmen, huh? Hey look at me now, I’m Regis Philbin because this is 2005 and Who Wants to be a Millionaire is still sort of relevant. Sick.

Edward does not like that Bella has one (1) other friend. Bella and Jacob plot to use this to their advantage and lure Edward back on the wings of jealousy.

Eddie gets himself into trouble on account of Angst and poor communication, so Bella has to go rescue him from himself/the Volturi.

Aro finally meets her and gets to test her powers, which impress him. Now she’s back on the fucking radar.

I forget everything that happens in Eclipse, so i have chosen to omit that part.

Eventually she extracts a quid pro quo from Eddie; i’ll marry you if you turn me into a dracula.

We don’t really call ourselves that, Wet Blanket Cullen replies, entirely earnestly.

Bella gets married at 18 in 2006, and Eddie starts to backtrack his promise about changing her. This won’t stand.

Well, look, he’s an elderly guilty catholic/mormon teen who probably still uses super racist terms, but she’s stuck on honeymoon island, he has certain angles that work for him, and seriously what are they gonna do but fuck? Bella’s alternative is listening to her “husband” drone on about his interests, which are almost certainly Car, How Do I Post a Minion Picture on Facebook, and Licorice Used To Be a Lot Cheaper in the Good Old Days.

Whoops a fetus.

Bella recognizes that she’s GOT to have this baby: time’s running out, and Bella knows that at least two of the Vamps in her coven will cut ties if she terminates or otherwise fails to carry this baby to term because of the conservative religious subtext. She’s going to have to stick it out for 9 months, even though it’s a risky call.

Bella gets what she wants after giving birth. “My time as a human is over, but I've never felt more alive. I was born to be a vampire.” That’s a direct quote. Except now she’s got a (pretty cute and easy) baby that she desperately wants to protect from Turning Into A Vaguely Religious Cullen Dressed Head To Toe In Cream Colored Wool.

Bella decides to fake her own death and escape with the kid and Jake so they can form i guess a detective agency. Bella will get “killed” by the Volturi, move to Sydney, and open up shop, and Jake will take the kid after her a few months later.

They’re gonna need a reason why Jake gets the kid though, and there’s only one reason to do anything amongst the Cullens: a heterosexual love interest with a super problematic age gap.

Jesus, Jake sighs, is Eddie really going to believe I’m in romantic love with your actual infant? Does he really think that little of me?

Yup.

Bella tries to draw the Volturi’s attention.

Works too well.

The Cullens call up all their vague acquaintances, who are at least kind of fun. Particularly that one dude who keeps getting angry about British conduct during the American Revolution.

Well, fuck, now the Volturi are bringing an army to fight their ragtag army of Vampires Who Are Cool And Interesting Enough That We Can Safely Presume They Are All Definitely Gay. Bella can’t let those guys die, they’re the first actually compelling vampires she’s ever talked to.

Bella saves the day because she’s OP.

All the Cool Vamps start packing up to leave and Bellz almost goes with them, but the Cullens would just keep sending missionaries after her if they knew.

Bella finishes her fourth journal with the vague warning that the Volturi are still out there somewhere and they miiiight just try and get her.

Two days later, she stages a scuffle and gets the fork out of Fucks. Her journals are the only clue.

Sirius Black and baby nessie follow once edward has stopped sobbing into his cream colored sweater and moved on to Extended Power Pouting.

Bella recruits her own army of fledglings.

Bella stages a coup against the Volturi and succeeds.

Bella sits on the iron throne with a hot lady vampire on each knee and they all kiss and stuff.

Nessie I guess forms a post punk band?

Edward dies from aspiration of a brussel sprout that he ate because he just wanted to feel something.

Charlie and Billy get married.

Charlie’s mustache develops a cult instagram following, providing them with a modest retirement income.

Jacob shapeshifts into Bill Murray and is always crashing weddings.

Bella’s stepdad is off in the B plot this whole time winning the world series with the help of a kooky angel.

There. Fixed. My soul is at rest.

[thevindicativevordan]

On Kong Kenan/Super-Man

It should've been him. He should've been the Superman of 5G/Future State/right now not Jon, and he should be the one getting an HBO Max series not Val. Hell he should be getting a movie!

God this dude is literally the best legacy character Superman has ever gotten, wholly his own person with his own lore and status quo while still building on the idea of "Superman". I am so pissed at DC for essentially just dropping him after his ongoing ended, what the hell Lee? You keep trying to make the Wildstorm characters happen, I need you to get my man Yang another Kenan book.

Have to admit I was a bit nervous at first about whether or not Kenan would be a worthwhile character. Yang's New 52 Superman run had been a disappointment to me overall, with only the the arc where Superman has underground wrestling matches against forgotten gods really sticking with me. Now he was introducing a brand new Superman? Didn't feel like he had "earned" that yet. But from the first issue I was hooked on this new character.

Kenan was unlike any other member of the Superfamily. He wasn't kind or sweet, he was an asshole! He was a bully! He was fantastic! Right from the start Kenan was set up to undergo a very different kind of character journey than the other members of the Superfamily. Empathy, humility, respect for people weaker than himself, these are all traits most heroes wearing the S-shield already posses by the time they first don the crest, but not Kenan.

Like all bullies he was even a bit of a coward himself at first, trying to bail on the experiment meant to give him Superman's powers right as it begins. After "saving" Lixin (the kid he bullies and steals lunch from every day) from Blue Condor he demands all the money Lixin has on him as payment. He's not courageous or selfless either at the start, Kenan is as much of an opposite of Superman as you can get short of being Bizarro. Learning the appeal of these traits formed the basis for his growth over the course of his series.

Seeing Yang bring in a lot of recognizable "Superman" elements in the series, but with a twist, was also great. Kenan is the one who bullies "Luo Lixin" rather than the traditional Clark/Lex friendship of Pre-Crisis and Birthright. Initially Kenan develops a crush on intrepid reporter for Primetime Shanghai, Laney Lan, but she dismisses him as too young and Kenan eventually ends up pursuing Avery Ho (Flash) instead. Baxi the Bat-Man of China has a similar relationship with Kenan as the traditional Superman/Batman in terms of being vitriolic best buds, however Baxi is the one who has the most respect for authority while Kenan is the rebel. Kenan is a part of the "Justice League of China" which does not meet with the approval of the already established Chinese superheroes, the Great Ten. That contrasts nicely with the good relationship the Justice Society and Justice League have, as well as seeing Yang lampshade the "Chinese copy" trope and incorporate that into his storytelling.

One of the funniest differences is how Kenan chooses to immediately reveal his identity as Super-Man to the world by taking off the compliance visor he was forced to wear, contrasting with Clark's choice to hide his identity. He was so eager to impress people that he never gave any thought to the danger he could put himself or his family in by revealing his identity until it was too late, something Clark is well aware of and has taken great pains to keep his identity secret. Was a missed opportunity for DC to have Kenan comment on Clark copying him for once when he outed himself under Bendis.

But one of the most poignant differences between Clark and Kenan is the gulf in separation between their relationship with their parents. Clark has a loving relationship with Ma and Pa Kent, trying to live up to their lessons as best he can. In contrast Kenan's mom was believed to have died in an airplane crash when he was just a child, and he never really knew her. His father was distant from him after that and the two weren't really close despite Kenan's attempts to impress him. So Kenan lacks that strong connection while still clearly loving both of them.

Pa Kent's death is one of the most tragic examples of Clark's love for his parents, and I've always been a fan of takes where Clark promises his father to fight for the powerless on Pa's deathbed. Kenan gets a similar scene at the start of his career, his dad "dies" (after being exposed as Flying General Dragon, a pro-democracy "supervillain" from the Chinese authorities perspective) and wants Kenan to promise he'll fight for Truth, Justice, and Democracy. But because Kenan's dad never really bonded with him, Kenan doesn't know what those mean, and can only promise that he never wants to see people die, something his father takes comfort in at least. In classic comic book fashion it's revealed that Dr. Omen, Kenan's "boss" and the one who gave him his powers, saved Kenan's father, because she is Kenan's mother! Kenan's relationship with his parents forms a lot of the crux of his character arc, and seeing how Yang utilizes the classic Superman concept of family kept the storytelling exciting.

Yang's brilliant exploration of the concept of "Superman" through the prism of Chinese culture was a great way to differentiate Kenan as well.

I absolutely freaking love how he tied to the concept of Qi to the S-shield in particular. Connecting the shape of the shield with the way Kenan has acquired his powers along the path of the Bagua (eight trigrams used in Taoism that represent the fundamental principles of reality), with his octagon S-shield outline representing all eight principles together, was mindblowing! So was the idea of restricting Kenan's access to his powers unless he was actually acting in a Superman manner, that tied his character growth to his power growth in an entertaining manner. There were so many characters and concepts that meshed Chinese and DC lore together, like how Emperor Super-Man was Kenan's "Doomsday", they even recreated that iconic dual kill shot! The Chinese Wonder Woman Peng Deilan, being based on the Chinese Legend of the White Snake! There was even some Korean mythology referenced with the Aqua-Man member of the JLC "Dragonson".

Yang also managed to do a Superman Blue/Superman Red story with Super-Man Yin/Super-Man Yang!

Shameful that it took me a while to realize what Gene Yang was doing but once I caught on I was touched. You can tell how much Yang loved Superman and his mythology, and how he was excited to incorporate as much from Clark as he could, while still using it in a way that was solidly Kenan's. And not just Superman's mythology, but the history and lore of the entire DC Universe. I-Ching got to be brought in, fleshed out, and used as Kenan's mentor! The "Yellow Peril" villain from Detective Comics #1, the comic DC gets its name from was brought in and revamped as I-Ching's twin brother All-Yang! Hats off to Yang for taking a racist caricature and attempting to make him into something more.

This series was a beautiful attempt by Gene Yang to build a space for Asian heroes and villains where they could be more than stereotypes, Kenan himself being a defiant mold-breaker in every regard as the complete opposite of most Asian characters in Western media (a jock, a bully, loves his dad but not on great terms with him, a powerhouse as a hero, etc). So much thought and hard work was poured into this by Yang and his team of artist collaborators.

Especially the costumes, man Kenan had so many great looks. From his starting outfit (which is my favorite Superman variant not worn by Clark himself), to the one with the Yin/Yang shield he acquired later on, to his Super-Man Yin & Super-Man Yang outfits, Kenan looked damn cool. Part of me is bummed they didn't go with the Chinese character shield they toyed around with, but I loved how Yang used the "s-shield" as a plot point, so I'm not too broken up over it.

All that great work Yang did to build that space up has been more or less forgotten sadly. It was nice to see Kenan in the DC Asian Month Celebration issue. Avery is going to be in Justice Incarnate at least (unsurprising considering she was created by Williamson). So fucking bummed that Superman Family Adventures cartoon didn't happen, they were going to have Kenan and John Henry Irons in it! Would've been a dream come true for me to see Irons in animation again, and Kenan making the jump to outside media! Maybe that would've encouraged DC to let Yang keep writing New Super-Man, or at least encouraged them to use him elsewhere instead of allowing him fall into Limbo.

Unfortunately I'm not sure what the future holds for Kenan. Jon is being pushed as Clark's replacement in the comics, with DC keeping all the other contenders such as Kon benched. Calvin is leading the Justice Incarnate team likely due to the upcoming Coates reboot that will make Clark black. Val will probably get something once Taylor leaves Jon's book or once they officially announce the HBO Max show is happening. So where does that leave Kenan, my new favorite PoC legacy hero? Currently my only hope is that Yang is working on something for DC involving him. Yang left Batman/Superman, where I was hoping to see a Baxi/Kenan team up, to go work on "exciting other opportunities" per his Twitter. So fingers crossed that there's something in the works for Kenan!

One day I hope he gets his day in the sun again.

[mischiefandspirits]

I was a bit confused about why he was already Nightwing but then I remembered that post you made where there were no Robins. (Also wow. They must be trusting Raven’s empathy powers a lot if they’re just conveniently forgetting how Batman rescued Richard Grayson from his wack job parents)

Yeah, in this universe Dick obviously wouldn't want to honor his mother's nickname for him by calling his vigilante alter-ego Robin so he had to go looking different names. He found Nightwing in Bruce's files on alien lore so he went with that since he both liked the story and thought the name fit with the bat theme Batman and Batgirl had going. His logo was originally similar to the dragon from the story, but people misinterpreted it as a bird and he went with it. "Not all birds are bad like robins and owls!"

In Gone, Nightwing only came about when Dick teamed up with the Titans since Black Bat was a myth. The Black Bat name comes from how their suits are completely black while in Gotham to help them stay hidden. The suits look like Cass's Batgirl suit, but with a black utility belt. The original suits also had a domino instead of the cowl (Babs' hair was dyed black at the time), but after Jason's introduction they upgraded to an Arkham Knight styled helmet to help keep the differences between the BBs less noticeable. It wasn't as bad with Dick and Babs because Dick when pale isn't too distinguishable in the dark from Babs with a tan and they both had rounded faces and kept their hair around the same length. Jason, though, was not only significantly shorter than them (being 13 to their 25 and 19) but he was also significantly paler, had a slimmer blocky face, and had short hair. They couldn't do anything about his height, but the helmet hid everything else and it also meant Babs didn't have to dye her hair anymore and the helmet could modulate their voices to all sound the same.

In regards to the Titans, the thing is that it's literally Batman's word against John's and not only has John been proven honest by Raven's powers, but Batman was also proven himself dishonest because he (and Babs and Dick) lied about Nightwing being the Grayson's son (if only biologically). So they're more inclined to listen to John. There's also the fact that Nightwing being Dick means Batman did, as far as they can tell, kidnap Richard Grayson only to make him his sidekick, which is what everyone feared (and ignores the fact that Dick was the one who forced Bruce's hand and Bruce would have been happy letting Dick stay hidden away at home). Since Batman didn't give any proof that the Graysons were sketch -- due to the fact he doesn't have any, that's the whole reason he has Dick! -- this all brings Batman's claims into question so they (and the League) aren't as suspicious of the Graysons as they should be. That said, they wouldn't have just handed Dick off to John and never looked back. They would have monitored the whole situation as Dick went back to his parents, all while keeping Bruce as far away from him as possible.

Which the Court knew, just as they knew Dick, Bruce, and Babs wouldn't let that happen. John never went to Jump expecting to be able to claim Dick. He went to Jump knowing he'd be able to drive a stake between Dick and the Titans. The Court wants to ensure the Bats are isolated since it gives them a better chance at taking the three down.

Had I continued with this version of events, they would have done something similar with the Young Justice team. Tim would have developed a shaky relationship with the team and the Court would have exposed it in a way that would have actually led to Kon ending up with the Bats, heightening the tensions between the Bats and everyone else drastically.

[popculturebuffet]

Top 10 Thanksgiving Episodes

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody! Time to eat a ton, pass out, and watch MST3K and all that. And since I already covered most of the general stuff about how diffrent this holiday is in my Loud House Review, and to reitarate to anyone having a big, 20 or so people crammed in a room thanksgiving this year

For the rest of us like all of the big three of Holidays, thanksgivings also the time for some classic episodes of television. Granted most shows stick to one, with some exceptions like friends, roseanne and new girl, but most make their one count. Thanksgiving may not be as big as the holidays it’s sandwitched in between, to the point christmas is slowly but surely trying to swallow it whole, but it’s still a time for family, fighting, and food that brings plenty of opprotunity for greatness and even with a smaller pool, I stiill had signifigant trouble narrowing down my list to 10. But I stand by what I got it wittled down to. This is my top 10 thanksgiving episodes! And for my regular readers, there’s a suprising lack of animation but i’m more than willing ot go outside that and now’s the right time, asi’m currently having a black friday sale with reviews marked down by two bucks to just 3 dollars for an episode of any tv show. Yes it’s a shameless plug but since when have I ever had shame? So with that in mind let’s chow down, it’s my top 10 thanksgiving episodes!

10. Pangs (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) Buffy is as a show I REALLY need to revisit. While lately, what with the abuse he did that we can’t get details on when making justice league or his you know cheating on his wife on and off over a decade, I’m not at all a fan of series creator Joss Whedon, Buffy itself is still a classic in my eyes. 

The tale of a teenager given the role of the Slayer, a chosen female asskicker given moderate super powers and the duty to defend the world from vampires and other ghouls. The show dealt with the usual teen superhero stuff, ballancing asskicking with saving the world and arguably codified the genre, to the point I hold it at least partially responsible for the bigger wave of teen heroes in the 2000′s in animation and comics. The show had smart dialouge, metaphors, mythology and a rich, and vibrant cast. Sure some things haven’t aged well like an adult vampire dating a teenager or the really dated ways Willow’s sexuality were handled, as groundbreaking as it was, from barely letting her kiss her girlfriend or be shown being intimate iwth her, or just entirley shutting out the posiblity she’s bisexual. But a few age wrinkles aside the show is still good and I still need to rewatch it and that includes our number 10 pangs, one of hte most memorable and well done thanksgiving specials and one fo the shows more comedy moments.  It’s thanksgiving, and Buffys mom’s going out of town, so she decides to hold thanksgiving at Giles place to bring her slowly drifting surrogate family together. Naturally given the way things usually go for our Slayer, she has a hard time of it as Willow chafes at celebrating colonolsim, Giles dosen’t get what the big fuss is about that or the meal being british, and Spike shows up looking for protection from season big bads the initiative, a secret military unit that’s chipped him so he can’t harm humans, so he has no way to eat and spends the mal tied to a chair. Oh and of course, a vengeful native american spriti from the chumash tribe has given Xander syphilis and killed a currator as revenge for his people’s suffering, so now Buffy has to fight a ghost bear if she want sa happy thanksgiving. Also Angel is back in town and being kind of a dick, but hey it leads to a good episode of his spinoff so whatever. 

Pangs is just a fun episode, not only does it do well by not ignoring american colonalisim, but it just has a fun energy to it as Buffy desperately tries to have a good thanksgiving, Spike instnatly proves his worth as an addition to the gang both chemstiry and comedy wise, and we of course get this classic moment. 

It had to fight it’s way onto the list, but pangs is a holiday dish worthy of sinking your fangs into. 

9. The Dressing (Aqua Teen Hunger Force) Speaking of nutty fun thanksgiving episodes.. this one is simply that. I love Aqua Teen Hunger force.. even if like a lot of comedy shows it drooped in later seasons, it still has it’s classics earlier on and even later on has a few gems. But on the earlier on side we have their utterly bonkers and delightful thanksgiving episode “The Dressing”, a sequel to the Christmas Episode “The Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from The Future”, which itself is an utter classic, but we’ll possibly get to that in december’s list. 

The Aqua Teens are having Thanksgiving with Carl, whose naturally onlyt here for the free food and staying outside. it’s also days before or after, with black colored frito pie,a t urkey, and whatever else their broke selves could scrounge up.  However, naturally, like Buffy a normal day for the Aqua Teens just isn’t complete without some weird shit happening, thanksgiving gets interrupted by the cybernetic ghost of Christmas past fromt he future, whose transformed himself into a turkey and wants to save their turkey so it can lead a rebellion in the bizzare hilarious distopian hellscape he comes from. This of course leads to him getting drunk, eating all their food and later showing up with a laser sock to murder carl after the episodes over. It’s just a fun time, a really funny episode and one of the teens more memorable outings. Not a lot to say here, it’s just really damn funny. 

8. Arnold’s Thanksgiving (Hey Arnold!)  Anoter classic I really need to revist but that more than earns his place here. Hey Arnold.. is easily one of the best animated shows ever. I say that with no hyperbole as it handled slice of life well while still getting dramatic when needed to, and is easily the gold standard for slice of life children’s cartoons to this day. And naturally it’s holiday specials were great, and I only r eally haven’t revisited them because they also hurt.. a lot. So unsuprisingly this one makes the list. 

IT’s thanksgiving and given how chaotic things are for both Arnold and Helga’s families, our heroes are miserable. Arnold would understandably like just once to have thanksgiving on thanksgiving, his family instead doing fourth of july due to his grandmother being who she is. And Helga naturally is ignored and mistrteated as usual since her sisters home and her dad and alchoholic mother ignore her as usual even when she’s not around. What i’m saying is while Arnold’s issue is understandable, helga always wins a “whose got the shitter life” contest. 

So the two flee to their teacher Mr Simmons, a character I genuinely loved and loved even more finding out he was gay as an adult, as he was a kind , supportive teacher who could be a bit softhearted but wasn’t afraid to step the fuck up when needed. But they find his thanksgiving isn’t much better, as his Mother and wont’ stop sniping at his boyfriend peter and clearly isn’t entirely comfortable with her son’s sexuality, his friend keeps snapping at peter and mooching off him, and his uncle.. well he’s just a loud asshole who wants turkey.. The kids naturally realize the meaning of the holiday, reconclie with their families who DID take genuine steps to make up for them being gone and missed them, all is well. It just shows nobody’s family is perfect, and is well done in that but also shows why thanksgiving has grown beyond it’s roots: It’s a day for families to get together and even if they may fight, recognize why they love one another. I also give the show balls for heavily imiplying a character is gay and not slapping a girlfriend on him or any of the usual bollocks: Simmons just very clearly is gay and it’s as transparent as the show could get at the time, with the show making it crystal clear years later with the revivial movie. Nice. We’ll have more servings of thanksgiving classics after the cut. 

7. Slapsgiving (How I Met Your Mother) Oh How I Met Your Mother. You started out really good but boy did that go downhill fast and land in a nuclear inferno didn’t it? But I can bitch about the How I Met Your Mother Ending some other time, and probably will. In the show’s prime before they decided to stick with an ending no one wanted anymore, it was pretty great and while season 1′s also impressive Thanksgiving outing “Belly Full of Turkey” was considered, there was ultimately one slaptastic king when it came to Thanksgiving: Slapsgiving. 

Naturally for this show Slapsgiving ties into the show’s suprisngly deep and rich lore: The season before this, Marshall and Barney made a “Slap Bet”, which is exactly what it says on the tin: A bet where the winner slaps the looser. And due to Barney prematurely slapping Marshall, Marshall got 5 penalty slaps to be dolled out whenever, one in that episode and another in a coda to another. For his next one though Marshall decided to outdo himself and set up a counter.. and it all comes down to thanskgiving.  So we get a good ten minutes of Jason Siegel making meancing slap based refrences while NPH’s barney cowers in fear before Marshall’s wife lily pumps the breaks on the bet as comissoner.. only to reconsider when Barney makes the mistake of tormenting Marshall over it, resuling in the inevitible, and in THE thanksgiving song. 

Basically it’s what happen when you give three really funny people a subplot together. Magic happens. The subplot is not bad either as a pre-totallyinsufferabledouchebag Ted hooks up with Robin again over lingering feelings and thanksgiving prep and the two have to deal with that... though it’s mostly funny for Robin’s new boyfriend, who Future Ted acknowledges is barely older than them, but admits to remembering as decrept old man, which results in a  30 something’s dialouge coming out of a very old man and me laughing very hard. A simple joke but one that really works. Overall a slaptacular good time. 

6. Two Turkeys (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

NINE NINE BITCHES! I’m honestly shocked I haven’t talked about Brooklyn Nine Nine on here already, but it’s easily one of the best sitcoms in recent memory, if not of all time. It has one of the best ensemble casts, great jokes and timing, yet still ballances things out with a sense of realisim beneath the madness> It’s also noticable for holding it’s officers more accountable than most real world police departments, to the point all scripts that were written up for next season were thrown out post George Floyd. It’s truly a joy to watch. 

So naturally they’ve had their share of Holiday episodes, with them easily having the best crop of halloween episodes since roseanne with their annual heists, and having some pretty damn memorable christmases, opening with this:

So naturally thanksgiving is no exception, with it’s last two being the best and it being a really hard choice wether to go with season 4′s “Detective Santiago” or this one. But as good as the other ep was.. this one inched it out for good reason. 

The episode’s split into two equally good, equally hilarious plot lines. In the B-Plot, the 99′s Captain Raymond Holt, one of the best characters in sitcom history and gay icon, and his husband Kevin take their annual trip to get a pie for Holt’s families thanksgiving and come back with the well crafted pie, even if both prefer their food nice and bland. But the pie go missing and Captain Holt procedes to hilariously drill into each of the other members of the 99 and uncovering holes int their previous thanksgving stories with Rosa’s being suprisingly heartwarming (She’s going to a humilating minons on ice show with her family because they reconnected in jail.. setting up the equally awesome “Game Night” episode where she comes out.) and Boyle’s being utterly pathetic as you’d expect (Cooking his son mac and cheese because he’ll eat nothing else and declaring him a “basic bitch”). The solution however ends up being heartwarming as the culprit is actually Kevin, who hated the pie.. as did Raymond who suggests just taking the drive anyway because they enjoy the silent ride there and back every year. It may be boring to us.. but it’s preicious and really sweet all the same.. as it is hilarous when Kevin treats this as a big endugence and seems turned on by that. What i’m saying is these men are couple goals and Marc Evan Jakcson was awesome long before ducktlaes.  The main plot is also great, as Jake and Amy, now engaged after this year’s halloween episode which is also , coincidentally, the series best, try to unite their families. It just goes about as well as you’d expect as Amy’s are type a control freaks, jake’s mom is a retired hippie school teacher and his dad is a human disaster area who has to be told to put on pants, cheated on his mom constantly, somehow got her back, and in general is barely functional on a good day. The families do bond breifly but things ineveitbly break down, hilarity and severed limbs insue and family comes together. IT’s just a funny, well done 20  mintues that’s also really damn sweet, with this plot ending with Amy’s dad accepting the chaos as that’s’ts what you do with family. Also jake naturally finds out he has a ton of step siblings as his dad was and still is a man whore. Happy Thanksgiving!

5. Bart Vs Thanksgiving (The SImpsons)

Let’s face it: if you follow my reviews at all you knew this was coming. While not one I go back to due to being an emotional kidney punch, i’d be doing this list a diservice if this classic wasn’t on there.  In a nutshell, Bart starts a petty fight with Lisa over her centerpiece that ends with it in the fireplace, Bart sent to his room till he apologizes, and Bart seething insiting he did no wrong. It takes a visit to the homeless shelter after running away, and ending up on the news, to realize what an ass he’s been and one nightmarish dream sequence later, seriously why do you think I don’t revisit this one that often? This thing has traumatized me since I was a kid and unlike the slap song I will not be showing it to you, has a heartwarming reconcliation with his sister on the roof. It’s just a nice, sweet special that gets the holiday just right and i’d expect nothing less from Golden Age Simpsons.  

4. A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving (Gilmore Girls) Another show I need to talk about more, Gilmore Girls is fucking awesome. The story of a woman who ran away pregnant at age 16 and built her own life for her daughter in the quirky town of stars hollow who finds herself reconnecting with her parents in present day against her will.. is really good stuff. Funny, heartfelt and really damn well acted with one hell of a cast, the show is part of me and I make no bones about that, so it’s big thanksgiving outing naturally belongs on here.  The premise is simple: Rory and Loreli end up having to go to four diffrent thanksgivings, which even for big eaters like them is a massive task, each unique and entertaining. The main event of course is Suki’s, where everyone’s faviorite chef agreed to let her husband cook the turkey.. of course with the plan to sneak in mid cooking and add her own touches. This gets foiled when Jackson and his family decide to deep fry the thing.. probably in part because Jackson knows his wife well and knows what she was planning. Though over the night while our heroines are at their other meals, it devolves into them deepfrying everything they can get their hand son including a shoe, and Suki getting plastered to tolerate it.  While not topping it the other meals and the sheer lunacy of four thanksigvings in one day, are still memorable: There’s the natural posh one at Richards and Emilys, the dour joyless one at The Kims where Mrs Kim forces the band to play the whole time and forces our heroines to eat food as joyless as Mrs. Kim, and Lukes for a nice round of Rory grappling with having PDA with her boyfirend Jess before resolving it at the end. Also dean’s a jackass. No one is suprised. Jess isn’t one at this stage in his character which is. Also Kirk adopts a cat that slowly pushes him out of his own house which works comedically becaus Sean Gunn is a national treasure. Overall a really good episode and if you have netflix and haven’t checked the series out, this is a good one to try out. 

3. The Thanksgiving Special (Regular Show) I already talked about this one in my top 11 Regular Show episodes so i’ll try to be brief. In a nutshell Mordecai and Rigby destroy thanksgiving and genuinelly feeling bad about it, scramble to win a thanksgiving bird from a Thanksgiving Song Contest, going up against an all star super group comissioned by Donald Trump. Yes really. Meanwhile Muscle Man and High Five Ghost go to get sides and the  rest of the park staff’s attemtps to get a turkey are thwarted by a bunch of thanksgiving reinactors who go unexplained in any way shape or form which given how rare that is for regular show, which usually has some sort of explination for the madness, just makes it funnier. It ends with a REALLY touching song, a fight on a blimp with outgoing president trump, and a truly heartwarming thanksgiving meal. All in all a nice special that combines the shows madcap nature with the genuine warm fuzzies of thanksgiving. 

2. We Gather Together (Roseanne) Another series I need to talk about more.. and another series where one of the creators has turned out to be a terrible human being. Seriously Roseanne Barr is is a terible person, she deserved to be removed from her show, and while the Conner’s isn’t GREAT it’s still FAR better without her. That being said I will still stick up for the original as she wasn’t the only one involved (indeed the aformentioned Joss Whedon worked on the show breifly and Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman Paladino not only worked there but later adapted one of Roseanne’s insane antics, making all the writers wear caps with a number instead of referring to them by name , to Gilmore Girls.). Her being a bad person even then dosen’t change the fact that the show is sitcom gold, one of my faviorite shows, and a true classic. And this episode helps showcase WHY. 

What makes this episode special, even among Roseanne episodes is it’s structure: While there are things going on it’s mostly a free floating day in the Families life and thus feels like your there with them through thanksgiving. It feels genuine, like past thanksgivings i’ve remembered: Everyone has their own stuff going on, they all eat, and there’s naturally a big blowup.. and one that eveyrone else ignores to eat which I can relate  to. That authenticity really elevates the episode and is why I seek it out every year. 

That’s not to say nothing happens, it just flows in and out like it would in a normal thanksgiving. Roseanne deals with her parents, a pre-abuser version of her dad and her overbearing nightmare of a mother beverly, and the inevetible blow up when Bev’s needling about Jackie’s life goes too far , prompting Jackie to reveal her new job as a police officer before bursting into tears, all to Roseanne’s annoyance. Rosie also moves them to a hotel despite an attempted guilt trip from her mom. 

Speaking of Mom’s we see Dan’s for the only time before the later seasons and the utterly terrible last season, a professional career woman whose moved on well from her ex and brought her new boyfriend there. Ed, despite some comptemplation over it is firmly accepting and instead starts flirting with the Conner’s friend Crystal. Dan, being overprotective because of his Daddy Issues, but ed cals him out on it “Being lonely is a hell of a lot for two people to have in common, you woudln’t knwo anything abotu that son, and I pray to god you never do” A great caper to a fantastic episode.. one I thought was going to top the list... THOUGHT is the key word here...

1. Turkey in A Can (Bob’s Burgers) This one is. Bob’s Burgers is one of the best things to come out of the 2010′s and i’ve fallen way too far behind on it, so I can’t say if any thanksgivings after thankshoarding top this one.. what I can say is this one is the gold standard for thanksgiving episodes, and is filled with great stuffing. 

Thanksgiving is Bob’s holiday. Being a chef he loves the chance to go all out, and really flex his muscles for his families when it comes to cooking up a storm, and it’s endearing when bob gets just as nuts as his family. But this year someone keeps flushing his turkeys down the toilet despite his best efforts, so while Louise hilariously tries to solve things to proe it wasn’t her (though it’s entirely fair they thought it was her consdering.. everything), while LInda, Gene and LInda’s flighty sister Gale try to write THE thanksgiving song. And while it’s no you just got slapped, damn if they didn’t succeed. 

Sailors in your mouth indeed. It leads to plenty of great jokes the best being the guy at the Deli Counter thinking Bob’s into him and bob not being sure how to respond, but being mildly recpetive. But the climax is what makes the episode as when Bob falls asleep we find his medication has been making him sleepwalk.. and thus put the turkey s int he toilet, as Tina’s desire to be at the Grown Up Table, itslef a REALLY funny runner as you’d expect, has him panicking internally and thus reliving her potty training. The episode ends with Bob letting her come to the adults table, and a rather heartwarming thanksgiving feast. All in all an excellent episode. It also leads to the chaos seen above whic hif htat’s not thanksgiving, I don’t know what is. 

Have a happy thanksgiving and check out my black friday sale! Until then there’s always another rainbow!

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Please shut up about Marvel having too much continuity

That’s a phrase I hear thrown around endlessly by fans, ‘fans’ and comic creators themselves.

 Continuity is bad we need to get rid of it or cut it down because it’s too intimidating to readers.

 This is provably untrue.

  Exhibit A: The Marvel Cinematic Universe

 The MCU has been running since 2008. As of this writing there are 20 movies in the MCU with more on the way and I don’t even know how many short films and episodes of various TV shows.

 Now sure, the movies are mostly self-contained and don’t require you to check out any of the other stuff. The same is true of the Netflix MCU TV shows

 True but the other TV shows (like the long running Agents of SHIELD) aren’t so self contained. The Netflix shows do trade off of events in other Netflix shows. And even if you confine it to the movies you still have those 20 movies.

 And sorry but if you wanna check out the latest of the 2-3 Marvel movies out in any given year being asked to watch twenty films  is a lot of continuity to ask of someone. Far more than is reasonable and honestly for a new viewer it might as well be as intimidating as 50 years of comics.

 And the harsh truth is... a lot of people just don’t do that when they go see a Marvel movie. But it’s also true that most people seem to like Marvel movies.

 How is this possible?

 How could they possibly enjoy the latest instalment in a film franchise without having seen everything before?

 Well this video about Avengers Assemble raises two key explanations.

 The gist of things is that Avengers Assemble in part traded off of the modern way we consume media and trusted people could Google or Youtube what they needed to know to ‘get’ the movie. See the endless number of articles and videos explaining what audiences ‘need to know’ before they check out the latest MCU film or revealing telling things in movies they’ve already seen. An example would be all the articles explaining who Thanos was after his mid-credits tease in Avengers Assemble.

 However the video’s other more salient point is that Avengers Assemble, like the movies leading into it and in fact the movies after it, was actually written to be accessible on it’s own.

 Sure you get a more rewarding experience if you checked out everything beforehand, but it’s not necessary.

 Even in a bonanza like Infinity War, in 2018 everyone is aware of who most of those characters are in the first place and even if they aren’t they know who a few of them are and can thus get invested in the movie for them.

 It’s kind of like every movie is written with the belief that it’s someone’s first...which is exactly how Marvel used to write all of their comics!

 Exhibit B: The DC Animated Universe

 Before Marvel made film history DC made animation history by replicating the shared superhero universe of DC comics in animation.

Comprised primarily of Batman the Animated Series, Superman the Animated Series, Batman Beyond, the Zeta Project, Static Shock and Justice League (with some seasons rebranded under different names and status quos) the DCAU lasted from the early 1990s until the mid 2000s with easily in excess of 100 episodes between the shows. Which doesn’t even count the tie-in comics, video games and more significantly four animated films.

All of these shared continuity in particular in the Justice League TV show where of course virtually every  DC character from earlier in the DCAU cropped up alongside a massive amount of new ones.

What made things even more complicated was that Justice League was released after Batman Beyond, a show set in the distant future of the DCAU, meaning the show was even drawing upon continuity from stories that chronologically took place way later.

Confusing right?

Well...not if you go by the ratings, critical acclaim and strong fan following.

Let me stress the DCAU predated the easier access to the internet we have today, it wasn’t until the DCAU was wrapping up that its various shows began to get complete home releases.

It is extremely unlikely that everyone or even the majority of the viewership of any given DCAU show were fully aware or up to scratch on the continuity of the DCAU as a whole.

And yet the DCAU was extremely successful.

In fact Justice League was so successful that it was renewed twice  after originally intended to wrap up the DCAU as a whole. And both attempts drew upon older continuity, especially the second of these two attempts.

Exhibit C: The market for superhero info books

Fun fact, I’ve worked for D.K. books which has made a lot of comic book based info books diving into the (mostly in-universe) history of the various characters.

The first of those books I know of was Spider-Man: the Ultimate Guide published about oh...in 2001.

It’s fourth and newly updated edition was released last year.

In fact with the surge of superhero popularity D.K. had to make more guidebooks than ever before, so many in fact that they had to drop some.

Here is some inside baseball but to capitalize upon Thor: Ragnarok there was supposed  to be an ultimate guide book all about Thor but due to producing stuff for Spider-Man, Guardians of the Galaxy, Wonder Woman, Black Panther and Justice league the project had to be dropped.

Guidebooks about individual franchises were not even the only types of info books D.K. did.

They’ve recently published what amounts to an encyclopaedia about the entire Marvel Universe since the 1940s!

And by the way, these books aren’t aimed primarily at the established/older hardcore fan.

They are aimed at a mass audience, chiefly kids who’ve maybe seen the movies, cartoons or read a little about the characters and now want to go deeper. And they are sold in general book stores as well as comic book speciality stores.

And they’ve been doing this since 2001...internationally!

So OBVIOUSLY there is thriving market for the large in depth histories of these characters. Clearly people love the idea of there being wider lore for them to explore.

It’s not even a phenomenon exclusive to comic book nerds, just ask Lord of the Rings fans!

Exhibit D: the DC Universe

If you count absolutely everything, there has been in truth at least six  different versions of the DC universe since it began in 1938.

That means on six separate occasions DC has chucked out aspects of their history and in theory made it more accessible to readers because hey, there is less history for you to read now. Their biggest attempt of recent years was in the New 52 in 2011.

And yet in general Marvel has systemically outsold DC comics and especially did so during the New 52 when the DC as whole suffered massive sales losses linked in no small part to their decision to reboot their universe and throw out the history readers had invested in.

Exhibit E: Soap operas

Soap operas that are intended to last indefinitely rarely (if ever) have facilities to enable viewers to catch up on older episodes across their massive sometimes 1000+ episode count. And even if they did such options wouldn’t have existed before the 21st century when DVDs and digital media and recordable TV isn’t what it is today.

Yet these soap opera kept running and running and running sometimes for decades?

How? They couldn’t have maintained the same viewership across that entire time.

Could it be that the new viewers of these soap operas just tuned in and rolled with it/the soap opera were written in a relatively accessible way so that they continued the ongoing plots whilst allowing new viewers to jump on ship at any time?

 Exhibit F: The 1980s-1990s

The notion of Marvel’s long continuity being a bad thing, of being a problem hampering them is dependent upon the idea that after a point there is just too much  history in the way of readers to jump on board. The Marvel Universe has lasted since 1961 after all*.

The foolishness in this mentality is that it wholly fails to recognize that catching up on and keeping up with even 20-25 years worth of comic book history is such a daunting task that it might as well be 55 years!

And yet in the 1980-early 1990s the comic book industry was over all healthier than it is now despite there already being a huge amount of history and lore to most Marvel characters.

In fact easily the most popular Marvel franchise of the 1990s was the X-Men which was THE most complicated and convoluted franchise Marvel had at the time.

Compounding the challenge new fans allegedly had to face was the fact that reprints, trades, info books and internet based resources to help them catch up or learn the wider histories either didn’t exist or weren’t what they are now.

There comes a point when getting a grip on 55 years of history when you have endless resources to help you do that and instant access to those stories on your phone  is infinitely easier trying that with 20-25 years of history when you have next to nothing.

But there were MORE comic book readers in the 1980s-1990s than now and they were able to jump into the long running narratives decades into their histories.

How is this possible?

Because back then Marvel practiced a mantra preached by Stan Lee himself.

Every comic is someone’s first.

So every comic pushed the characters stories on but also made sure they invited new readers along for the ride too.

 Exhibit G: Myself

When I was 12 I began watching the Justice League cartoon show and fell in love with all those characters, only slowly realizing that the Superman and Batman of this show were the same ones I’d seen on Batman the Animated Series and those 6 episodes of Superman I’d seen years ago. I didn’t even know who Darkseid and Brainiac were? It didn’t matter they were clearly big deal bad guys and I loved their 2 episodes in Justice League. I loved Justice League Unlimited even more even though I didn’t realize it was capitalizing upon plot threads set up in yet more Superman episodes I’d never seen.

When I was 11 one of my best friends who was nowhere near as much into comic books as I was showed me his new book. Spider-Man the Ultimate Guide. In it was pages and pages about Spider-Man, his powers, his costumes, his friends, his foes and his history over all. I needed my own copy of that book and re-read it multiple times because wow I didn’t know Spider-Man was once buried alive and there was a Spider-Man in the future and this one time Spider-Man battled the Juggernaut and it was awesome and this other time Spider-Man turned into the Lizard and the Hulk!

When I was 10 I read my first ever Spider-Man comic book and began following the character religiously.

This comic book was Peter Parker: Spider-Man #75.

This was the very last part of the very last story arc in the single most convoluted Spider-Man story of all time, the Clone Saga, with even that one issue drawing upon and referencing continuity from 27 years earlier!

And yet it hooked me.

All those things hooked me.

Because it’s not about how much continuity you have.

It’s about how you choose to use it or not use it when crafting a compelling story.

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 49.7-49.10

Every so often I manifest an incoherent plan to stop watching YouTube, borne out of some inchoate idea to do with productivity, but then I’ll watch a video so mundanely profound and inspiring that gives me more of a creative boost than any amount of time I would save by not watching 20-minute explainers on Game of Thrones lore. On this occasion that video was this, on the toolbox fallacy.

Simply, as the Passion of the Nerd puts it in his video, its the idea that one can’t do (x), until one has (y) - or, the lie one tells oneself in order to put off doing something, whatever that something may be. In my case, as is so often the case, the (y) is time. I haven’t written a blog for early two months, and in that period I told myself repeatedly that I was just waiting for that big long stretch of time where I could sit down and get everything done at once. 

But that never happens, and the longer you go without starting, the bigger the pile gets, so eventually it becomes impossible to get through everything at once without a parcel of time so monstrously huge it is terrifiyng in its own right. 

And thats where the fallacy comes in - you don’t need everything to be perfect in order to get started, and once you’ve started, you don’t need everything to go perfectly either. You just need to start. So lets get started.

Episode 7 - Jesus, Oxford vs Manchester

I live in Manchester now (aside: before I got my job here I applied for a PhD at ManUni with a guy called Dr Kiss, a sliding doors moment which could have resulted in my failing to qualify for a University Challenge team for a record eight times in a row, assuming it was a three year doctorate), which should make them my second team, but to be honest they’ve probably held that title for a while anyway. Like Michael Schumacher in his glory days, or Roger Federer in his prime, the University of Manchester produced consistent levels of supreme performance in the Challenge between 2005 and 2014 that gained them many fans, myself included. 

They reached nine out of ten semi finals in that time, and brought the fight to the Oxbridge duopoly with four series victories. Jesus haven’t had anywhere near as much success in the Paxman Era, but won the penultimate Bamber series against Imperial in 1986.

Manchester are mascotted by a bee, the buzzy symbol of the city; and Jesus are sponsored by a jumper? Thats what it looks like anyway, it might just be a bit of draping with the college logo on it. A lot of the Oxbridge teams do this, but there may as well be nothing there because its pretty half assed. 

Its the Jumpersquad who unravel the night’s first clue, with Cashman taking the ten points for the Cashmere Collective. Manchester equalised with the next Starter, and moved into the lead with a full set on the third. A delightful picture round on Premier League football team finishing positions followed, but Manchester could only manage one (I took the hat-trick, naturally). I always enjoy it when the setters put the sports questions into inventive UC formats.

The Mancunians would get into triple figures before Jesus could build on their opening points, but two Starters in a row got them out of the quagmire, and a third, the music round, brought them within thirty points again. However, they were helped out a little bit by Paxman allowing ‘They Must Be Giants’ in place of ‘They Might Be Giants’. I guess accuracy doesn’t matter as much when its merely pop culture.

This would prove the end of Oxford’s comeback though, as Manchester surged ahead with eighty five of the next hundred points to seal the victory with plenty of time to go. They must have known they had it in the bag as well, because at this point they sat back and let Jesus race for a high scoring loser spot, which they may well get.

Final Score: Jesus, Oxford 145 - 185 Manchester

Episode 8 - Durham vs Trinity, Cam

Durham reached the semi finals last series, the third time they have done so since they won their only title of the Paxman Era in 2000, having also claimed a Bamber Trophy in 1977. Trinity won under Jeremy’s stewardship in 1995 and 2014, along with a victory in 1974, making this a match-up between two of only three teams (the other being The Open University) to have won the Challenge in both of its iterations. 

Adding further weight to the not-so-mythical myth that Durham is a surrogate for Oxbridge, the Northern team have also got a jumper-y object as their mascot (at this point I have realised that there is a proper word for what those things are, but I’m in too deep with this jumper thing. Is it just a banner? A sigil?). I’m glad to see that Trinity have tried though, and are proudly displaying what looks to be a hand-knitted bear (possibly Sooty from Sooty and Sweep?).

Durham charged out of the blocks with four of the first five Starters and ten of their first twelve bonuses. Trinity would have to wake up soon if they didn’t want to get blown completely away. Fortunately they heard their alarm clock when it next went off and in the blink of an eye they were ahead. 

Wait, surely not... *checks notes* No, I was right first time round, following a 90-20 opening stint, Trinity went 80-0 to turn the game on its head. Now it was Durham’s turn to feel shell-shocked, but they took the next Starter and we were level again. A hundred each. The game was being played like rugby, with one team smashing forward until the momentum could be stopped, at which point the tide would flo the other way. Scintillating quizzing.

The turnovers started coming faster, with a frenetic back and forth developing. It was Trinity who finally managed to stamp their authority on proceedings, opening up a significant lead with only a few minutes remaining. Durham would need to work even quicker than in the early stages to add further topsy-turviness to this topsy-turvy match, but they couldn’t manage it. A brief spurt at the death may however be enough to drag them into the play-offs.

Final Score: Durham 145 - 200 Trinity, Cam

Episode 9 - LSE vs Courtauld Institute of Art

Like I said in the introduction, the longer you leave something before starting, the more difficult it is to start because of how much you’ll have to do once you start. Another issue with this blog in particular, is that the more you have to do at once, the more difficult it becomes to not just write the exact same things over and over again. If I do one per week then even if I do repeat myself word for word then I don’t realise because seven days if far too long to remember anything for, and ignorance is bliss etc. With a big batch like this one then it becomes painfully obvious how many times I use the word Starter, even if it is somewhat necessary.

Oh well, lets start with a recap of the two teams previous appearances... LSE made the final in 1996, losing a high-scoring match against local rivals Imperial. They made the semis two years later, and the quarters in 2009, meaning that they’ve been elimiated at every stage of the competition apart from the second round. For Courtauld, it would be a success to be knocked out at that stage, having lost their only two matches, in 2015 and 2018.

Courtauld took the first points of the evening with the amusing fact that the Nobel Peace Prize hasn’t been awarded on a number of occasions due to a lack of deserving recipients (could they do the same with the British Prime Minister?). LSE fumbled a science starter, leaving the board (in this case the circuit board which makes up the buzzers) wide open, but Courtauld can’t even guess, which amuses Paxman no end - “they don’t study a lot of that [at an art institute], do they?”.

They know Shakespeare though, and take the picture Starter on one of his ‘lost rhymes’. The match ambles on slowly, at a far more leisurely pace than last weeks (a good thing about this batching is that I can reference the previous games with the confidence that I’ll be understood), and its Courtauld who are ambling slightly faster than their London counterparts.

With a few minutes remaining, LSE decde to give it a go, with Engels cheekily waving Paxman on after another science Starter was left unanswered. I just spent about fifteen minutes trying to make a gif of this, but the websites kept crashing and the one I did make was only loading as a picture here. So if you can just imagine it that would be great.

Final Score: LSE 90 - 145 Courtauld

Episode 10 - Goldsmiths vs Southampton

Goldsmiths lost on their first Challenge appearance, and made it to the second round last year, the only other time they’ve made it to the televised rounds. If they continue their current trajectory they’ll make it to the quarter finals this time out, which is the furthest their first round opponents Southampton have made it in the Paxman Era, in 2014.

The Southampton mascot, a fluffy deer, has fallen off of the table between the middle players and has consequently gained some camoflague so you have to squint to figure out what it is. I don’t know if it was placed there on purpose, or if they simply didn’t notice that their mascot resembled that scene from Bambi. Goldsmiths have a teddy bear who is wearing graduation robes, indicating that they award degrees to cuddly toys - where will the liberal agenda take us next?

Paxman informs us that Goldsmith’s Sibley hails from the same Canadian town as human PA system Eric Monkman, and when he introduces himself you can detect a similar lilt to his accent, but without the sense that you’ve accidentally sat on the volume button. 

It is he who takes the first Starter of the evening, and indeed the second too - perhaps he does bear some more relation to his noisy neighbour. Goldsmiths took two more on the bounce to go 70 points clear. They were unlucky not to be further ahead, having guessed wrongly between both York and Leeds and Southampton and Portsmouth on the picture round (with no other clues its pretty hard to tell the difference between 20 miles on an unannotated map).

Maybe it was the mention of Southampton (and its misidentification) that woke the Southern side up, but they claimed their first points on the next Starter, along with two bonuses on the Lake District that I knew too, but only because I was literally in Windermere at the weekend.

Once they’d figured out that you need to buzz in and answer questions in order to win the game, Southampton were actually pretty good, and their confidence seemed to grow with every point they put on the board (in this case the circuit board which makes up the - hang on, I’ve already done this one, haven’t I? See, I told you this whole repeating malarkey was difficult), and they polish up two of three bonuses on haikus which describe chemical elements (I missed the explanation of the question format when I watched this the first time, so was astounded that they had even been discussing anything with any conviction. “Just doing your job holding plants together. No fireworks, no fuss”. I mean, what is that on about?)

In fact, just as Southampton remembered how to play, Goldsmiths forgot, and they only managed to shake themselves of this malaise twice more for the rest of the match, allowing Southampton to canter away, mostly unchallenged. 

Final Score: Goldsmiths 95 - 175 Southampton

Phew! That was a big one - well done if you made it all the way to the end. I still have two more to catch up on, but I haven’t even watched those episodes yet so I’ll just do them as regular posts, hopefully tomorrow. 

I’d also like to give a huge thanks to Tough Soles who are supporting me on Patreon! (sorry for falling so far behind - I’ll catch up soon)

[spookyspaghettisundae]

Unrest of the Wicked, Part 3

Todd’s fear grew.

Waiting in the biting wintry air left him cold, but his countless hours of service in the constabulary had hardened him to such exposure.

His fear of getting caught grew with each minute of Johnn Von Brandt taking longer to pick the lock. The only thing standing between them and the accursed corpse hiding within the museum was this locked doorway. And the only thing Constable Todd really needed this alleged bandit Von Brandt for was to get inside.

Perhaps his prior experience with creatures of the night might help.

Todd’s inquisitive gaze swept up and down the fog-riddled Crimsonport street, expecting anybody to approach at any time now. The lanterns lining the road cast no shadows upon the door to which Von Brandt picked away at the lock with tiny metal tools. Todd’s mind played tricks on him, causing him to imagine people wandering down the street and spotting them, catching them in the act. He shot an impatient glance at Johnn, but bit his tongue rather than urging him to hurry up.

Todd could not afford to land on the wrong side of the law. Not now, not with all he knew.

For all he knew, important authority figures of all station within the city could be in league with the dark powers behind these wicked machinations. He considered his potential allies and how damaged their standing was within Red Coast society—the only people with the savvy and drive to combat the creatures of the night.

Nora Morrissey, former mercenary turned hunter, now rotting in prison for murder—of an aristocrat who had been possessed by a deranged demon. Johnn Von Brandt, scoundrel and suspect in multiple accounts of theft and burglary. Agnes Letterford, herbalist and midwife accused of practicing witchcraft by religious zealots, chased from the city by a superstitious mob who ended up burning down her home. Oddly enough, Luca Vadas, gunsmith and notorious gambler, happened to be the only one without such a stained reputation as the other three, but most people mistrusted him on principle due to Vadas belonging to a caravan of roaming folk.

Todd’s chest burned and he placed a hand there, with fingers numbed by the merciless cold air. He felt the shape of the amulet that the small girl, Magdalene McLachlan, had given him just moments before the two men approached the museum to break in.

Was this young girl also a potential ally? Appearing as deathly pale as a corpse?

The constable dismissed the thought and assured himself that he had only imagined the burning sensation emanating from the amulet.

Little time had passed since he had learned that vampyres, beast-men, and angry ghosts all posed real threats to the people of his homeland. Todd still erred on the side of skepticism, in an attempt to keep his sanity intact in face of all these unnatural threats. To do so, he would need to strike every shred of excessive superstition from his beliefs. Black cats crossing his path, walking underneath ladders, even breaking mirrors—he would have to assume that such things were nonsense until taught otherwise. Because the more he learned, the more he realized that there might be a kernel of truth hiding within each such folk tale, albeit knowing the difference between silly superstition and that kernel of truth might spell out the difference between life and death.

He looked to the clock-tower, looming in the distance over the rooftops of the city’s houses, nearly invisible through the thick banks of fog that obscured the nightly image of the sprawling metropolis. Todd could barely make out the tower’s outlines. He did however recognize the church’s holy symbol jutting out from the tower’s highest point.

He wondered how the Good God could allow such deviltry to run rampant and endanger his homeland and his people. He pondered if King Sieghard was just as corrupt and twisted as Earl Irvine Tyson, in league with evil creatures.

At each and every scene of a crime that Constable Todd now connected to unnatural events, he had always found a specific clue that the public remained oblivious about.

A single black rose.

The same symbol emblazoned on the crest of King Sieghard’s family.

He shot another glance at Johnn, who was focused on picking the lock to the museum door and oblivious to Todd’s festering sense of dread. He considered that he might need to tell him, but now was not the time. Yet.

The lock clicked and the door opened by the width of two fingers. Johnn looked back at Todd with determination burning in his eyes. Todd’s heart skipped a beat—knowing that whatever would happen now, it would eclipse the fear he had felt waiting out here. Hell, it might just eclipse the terror he experienced when he helped Luca Vadas battle a vampyre. The constable feared the possibility of dying this night. He feared dying in ways he dared not imagine.

Todd’s meaty hand grabbed Johnn by the shoulder of his coat and he yanked him up to his feet with furious vigor, pushing both of them along to make a hasty entrance into the museum’s bowels. Johnn stared daggers back at the constable over the gruff gesture but refused to comment on it.

The constable quietly closed the door behind them, shrouding them in near-complete darkness. Only feeble rays of light shone in through cracks between the curtains, casting the edifice’s exhibits in the eeriest illumination possible.

The two men snuck in between stands and displays within fine glass cases. Todd could barely make out the relics, though his earlier visit to the museum under the supervision of the Earl’s lackey helped him to find his way through this assortment of foreign objects.

Artifacts exhumed and brought here from a faraway, sunken kingdom of the sands.

Stone tablets swallowed the light here, shadows concealing their confusing hieroglyphs. Bizarre statuettes of animal-headed humanoids stood there, shining with an otherworldly golden sheen.

And finally, the artifact they had come for.

Todd and Von Brandt stopped in front of the huge sarcophagus, standing up straight against the wall like a totem pole. Both of them gazed upon it in awe. A majestic air surrounded this towering object. Their eyes had adjusted to the darkness and allowed them to admire the luster of the enormous coffin’s gilded surfaces—oh, how they almost glowed despite the lack of illumination. And upon the face of the sarcophagus a face had been painted in a forgotten age, yet the artwork remained and defied the sands of time—the painting of a face that bore both the insight of a sage and the soul-piercing stare of a cruel and unforgiving god-king.

“This is it?”

Todd only nodded in response, unable to peel his eyes from the sarcophagus.

“You have the tools and know better what to do,” he said to Johnn.

A sigh exited the bandit’s mouth, carrying a staggering exhaustion and sense of futility. But his swift movements spoke to a specific desire—the desire to get this over with. As quickly as humanly possible.

Johnn produced a heavy bag from his coat and untied its top. He crouched down and began pouring its contents out onto the floor, creating a large circle around the two men and the sarcophagus, best he could. He squeezed behind the relic, closing the circle back there.

Todd surmised that this was the rock salt. It would either keep the ghost outside and prevent it from taking over the mummy—or trap it in there. With them inside the circle, as well. Todd flinched at the latter thought.

Once the bandit was finished, he handed the constable a silvered decanter and a lighter.

“Now, I am not sure how or if this will work. If this circle does not stop the ghost from possessing the mummified remains, then we need to use the consecrated oils and burn them,” Johnn said. He bit his lip as he paused before asking, “Or we use the oil to attempt another circle at enclosing the phantom?”

Todd’s brow furrowed.

“How is it that you understand as little as I do about all of this despite having slain a beast-man and a warlock before?”

“They are not the same creatures, for one, and for another, I—look, it is difficult to retain all this nonsensical information about their weaknesses, alright?”

“Nonsensical information that will decide whether we live or die this night,” Todd hissed back at him.

“Listen—the lore gathered in Nora’s journals is vague at best. We will have to make this up as we go.”

Johnn swallowed a retort and placed two iron rods on the floor between them, as well as a stack of paper scrips inscribed with a strange style of writing that Todd only recognized at second glance—writing native to a remote realm in the Far East, from which the most wealthy of merchants delivered silk and exotic spices.

The bandit picked up one of the iron rods and gripped it in his left hand. He exhaled sharply as he stared at Todd for another moment and then turned to face the sarcophagus.

The steps Johnn took towards the huge relic fell silent upon the hard wooden floors underfoot. Caution and trepidation made each step deliberate and slowed down by the palpable sense of dread welling up inside his stomach. The same dread that Todd was also subjected to right now.

Todd stood as still as one of the desert kingdom’s derelict statues on display behind him.

Johnn’s slender fingers reached out towards the sarcophagus, creeping up close to curl around a groove which he could latch onto and pull the coffin’s lid open.

Before his fingertips connected to the shining golden surface of the strange royal coffin, it opened. An inch. No sound accompanied it, but it caused the hearts of the men to skip a beat.

Then a sound like a chorus or an army of people exhaling simultaneously erupted from the darkness, pouring out of that crack. Like one hundred souls breathed their last breath, all at once. Then something heavy hit the floor with the weight of a grown horse.

THUNK.

First Johnn stepped aside, then Todd reacted at the last moment. The lid of the sacrophagus fell forward, crashing down onto the museum floor with a frightening THUD.

Dust filled the room and their lungs, causing the two men to cough and swat at the air around them in a futile effort to create some breathing space. Both wanted to swear out loud and understand what was happening—what was going wrong.

The force of the sacrophagus’ lid crashing down had blown the salt away in every direction, disrupting the circle Johnn had carefully laid out.

Todd winced and squinted his eyes, trying to see what evil emerged from the darkness of the sarcophagus’ insides, ready pounce on them like a savage beast. Ready himself to fight back with all his might. He steeled himself. Every muscle in his body tensed up.

But nothing came. Once their coughing had ceased and the dust had settled, they perceived only a humanoid shape wrapped entirely in bandages with golden relics embedded in the wrappings. The shape just stood there, tangled up so thoroughly that it had no leeway for it to move its legs or lift its arms from their resting place, crossed upon the mummified corpse’s chest. Todd had expected a more grisly sight and felt underwhelmed. The vampyre encounter had left his imagination of the mummified desert king’s possessed corpse to run wild. This turned out to be utterly unspectacular in contrast.

With the loud sounds of the lid crashing down still echoing in their mind, a deafening silence enveloped them.

It would not last for long, as the two men began to hear small sounds from all around. Scraping, scratching, chittering, and hatching. Millions over millions of tiny legs tipping and tapping, of diminutive wings flapping, of swarms upon swarms of undefinable things approaching.

Fast.

An icy fear gripped Todd’s heart and pure instinct drove his next motion. He flicked the lighter to ignite its small flame and regretted it right away.

A number of insects so unspeakable that it looked like a flood closed in on them from all directions, surrounding them like a dark tide threatening to swallow a tiny island. Todd loathed insects and spiders especially, and there were so many of the creatures about—so many writhing little bodies with too many legs and alien multi-faceted eyes glaring back at him—that a crippling revulsion made his stomach churn.

Johnn blurted out, “Oil. The oil!”

Heart pounding away with such strength that his chest threatened to explode, Todd extinguished the lighter’s flame by accident as he fumbled with the silver decanter in his other fist. Panicking, he slung it out without second thought, spraying a thick liquid in semi-circles around the two men, splatter by splatter.

He flicked the lighter’s flame back into existence and no second too soon, as he could now once more see the countless millipedes and woodlice and ants and other insectoid creatures with more clarity, even if he could not identify them all. The vermin had already gotten so close that dozens of them already crawled and climbed up their boots and pant legs. Defying the cold’s numbness still clinging to his flesh and bones, Todd then felt something slither around his hand.

Todd shuddered and failed to suppress a yelp from escaping his throat as he dropped the lighter. Huge flames roared into existence around Johnn and him both. Not in a perfect circle, but enough that the consecrated oils now burnt brightly all around them.

They both panted and swiped at the swarms upon them, brushing them off into the fires and kicking at them and stomping and grunting with an irregularity fueled by panic.

Unnatural screeches sung from the flames in choruses of pain and death where insects burnt to death. The swarms outside the ring of fire withdrew from the bright light, and those flung away from the bodies of the flailing men skittered away or landed in the flames where its heat incinerated the tiny pests.

Only now did Todd notice how the mummy had gotten closer, inch by inch, hovering within an arm’s length. What revealed its approaching presence was a strange scent that reminded him of his mother’s flower arrangements and a sudden burst of emotion that overwhelmed his senses.

Hatred.

A hatred so pure that it took control.

His skin crawled, not from the dread of the insect swarms that beleaguered them, but from a fire underneath the surface. Every last ounce of discontent and every single shred of spite in Todd’s body and soul suddenly bubbled to the surface and he fought the urge to turn on Johnn and attack him.

When his eyes met with those of the bandit, he knew that the same foul sorcery was laying siege to his compatriot’s mind.

They lunged at one another, rather than at the mummified corpse. The unnatural thing hovered a foot off of the floor, just next to them, looming and silently drinking in their rage. If it could laugh or feel amusement, it would. But it felt nothing but silent wrath.

Their fingers wrapped around each other’s necks and clamped down like vices, ready to strangle the life out of one another. Johnn’s teeth gritted and the fire of the consecrated oils reflected in his eyes, mirroring his rage over Nora’s incarceration and blaming Todd for everything that had gone wrong since. Todd’s amassed regrets and grievances coalesced into a hatred for Johnn, seeing him not as the root of all his problems, but the symptom that he needed to eradicate before moving on to take down the spineless nobility that corrupted his homeland.

But the skittering swarms of insects held at bay by the fires, shining pitch black like living oil, reminded Todd of something.

The true menace.

The black rose.

In this moment of inspiration, he gagged under the pressure that Johnn exerted around his neck as he braced himself, then delivered a sharp kick to his opponent’s shin, sending Johnn reeling and causing them to both release their iron grips around each other’s necks. Todd saw stars explode around him when Johnn punched him in the face but the constable retaliated with his elbow, connecting to something hard and bony, and then grabbing onto thick fabric and gripping and turning around—

And throwing Johnn right into the mummy, sending them tumbling backwards into the sarcophagus.

Todd growled, “Not now. Snap out of it, fool!”

Staggering and struggling to remain standing straight, Todd regained his bearings and rubbed his tortured throat with one hand. He coughed in pain and his eyes darted between the iron rod on the ground, the Far Eastern exorcism scrips next to it, the dying fires of the consecrated oil that kept the insect swarms at bay, Johnn getting back up onto his feet with murder in his eyes, and the god-king’s mummified corpse still hovering above the ground with unnatural might—now floating towards him like a menace from out of this world, faster and faster.

The mummy’s wrappings tore and dust exploded from them, but it sounded just like those times when Todd visited the butchery at the precise time of the butcher doing his grisly work and he could hear the tearing of muscle and ligaments and snapping bones with all the detail that haunted his younger years.

Spindly hands reached out, ready to end Todd’s life.

The chorus of a thousand dying men exhaling their last breaths flowed forth once more, and a gale of warm wind swept through the museum’s hall. The fires from the consecrated oils flared up brightly and then died in the subsequent instant.

Instead of grabbing him by the throat like Johnn had done, the mummy aimed for Todd’s heart. The constable’s bravery and defiance drained away in a flash, leaving him paralyzed in sheer terror. Whispers filled the air, conveying words in forgotten tongues that carried both the weight of power and the muted menace of incomprehensible threats.

The skeletal fingers, once meticulously wrapped in burial bandages, shot down and dug into the flesh of Todd’s chest like thorns. He felt the warmth of blood pumping out from the five puncture wounds as the mummy’s fingers sunk in deeper, wriggling and digging past his ribs.

A deafening shriek pierced the air and Todd’s eardrums and he stumbled away from the mummy, while the mummy fell to the ground before him, writhing like a worm in confusion or a man contorting in unbearable agony.

Todd groaned and then screamed as he peeled his jacket open to reveal Magdalene’s amulet having left a scorch-mark upon his skin—right above where his heart lie hidden—surrounded by the five bleeding holes that the mummy’s fingers had now left behind.

Johnn had snapped out of his uncontrollable frenzy and he lunged at the mummy with a desperate shout, flying into it and ramming the iron rod through the monster’s belly. The voluminous cracking of dry bones and wooden floor hinted at him pinning it to the ground, proven by the mummy’s limbs wildly flailing around and the unholy creature emitting one inhuman wail after another.

The ancient undead flung its arms about and tried to throw Johnn off. It tried to escape the iron rod pinning it down.

“Do something,” wheezed Johnn through bloodied teeth, glaring at Todd.

Before Todd’s mind could recover from reeling and formulating a sound plan of action, an invisible force with the power of ten horses flung Johnn away, sending him crashing through glass panes of the exhibit’s display cases. The bandit came to a halt somewhere in between the maze of relics littering the hall.

Todd gasped as he saw the swarm of insects closing in on Johnn and both himself. Within seconds, both men screamed at the top of their lungs as the masses of tiny skittering and scampering horrors climbed the lengths of their limbs, threatening to burrow into wounds and crawl into any orifice they could find.

Acting blindly, wincing and brushing off wave after wave of the insect swarms now clouding his sight, Todd gave up fighting and nearly vomited at the sensation of feeling something forcing itself into his ear despite being too large for it.

He tossed the decanter in front of himself, hoping to hit the mummy. Then he coughed, choked, spitting out chunks of vermin he had accidentally bitten down upon, retching at the acrid taste spreading within his mouth. Todd struck the lighter. And let go.

He flailed about, trying his best to rid himself of the insect swarm that robbed him of all his senses. He screamed again, terrified of knowing this was how he would die.

A bright light pierced the layers of insects picking away at his eyelids and he brushed them away again, scratched and clawed at his own skin in futility, and stumbled forwards into the light—into the scorching fire.

It hurt, though it was harmless to him. It would leave some burns upon exposed skin, but it drove the swarm away. Todd rose above the burning corpse of the mummified remains, now brightly ablaze like the dark silhouette of dry wood disintegrating in the greatest heat of a mighty bonfire. With each swipe, he freed himself of more of the swarm, thinning out their ranks and returning something he had given up: hope.

He retched again and coughed out another bug and ripped something out of his ear with a squelching sound followed by the feeling of his own warm blood trickling down his earlobe and then down his neck.

Todd nearly froze—now in awe. Marveling at the sight of the mummified remains burning up in an unnatural blue fire, surrounded by embers of a ghostly green light rising up around him. He watched the summoned angry ghost dissipate, driven from this plane of existence. The insects fell off of him, dead from the scorching heat or withdrawing like normal vermin would be wont to do.

From the corners of his eyes, Todd spotted that Johnn still flailed about. But the bandit, too, emerged from the swarms of insects as they retreated from him, disappearing into cracks in the floorboards and walls and other shadowy places hidden from human eyes.

Todd stumbled away from the burning mummy’s remains and shielded his eyes as it exploded in an even greater blue flame. The ancient undead emitted another inhuman wail that curdled Todd’s blood, but it died down slowly and joined the rising embers, swallowed by oblivion itself.

The constable squatted down, grabbed the exorcism scrips and threw them away, allowing the thin long scrolls to scatter in every direction. He had no idea if they would serve any purpose, but at this point, he figured none of it could hurt. Before all of them had stopped fluttering about and landed on the museum’s floors, Todd stormed over to Johnn and grabbed him by an arm. Johnn clutched back at Todd’s arm and the constable helped the bandit back up.

“We need to leave,” Todd said. He spat over his shoulder, trying to rid himself of the foul taste.

It was not working.

“Is it over? Is it really banished?”

“The hell do I know? But I want to make sure.”

Johnn nodded slowly, the same thought dawning on him.

They proceeded to set fire to the entire estate, ensuring that it would burn down before rescue forces could put it out.

The constable and the bandit fled the scene with swift steps, descending into the city’s sewers. They had destroyed the ghost of the desert king that Earl Tyson had summoned—before it could cause any damage. The newspaper would herald the tragedy of the museum’s destruction by reckless hoodlums. The heroism of these two men facing this ancient evil would remain unknown to the public. They had emerged from the battle, with most of their bodies and their sanity left intact.

Waiting in hiding, in the dank and miserable cold of the sewers, they sat at one point, resting in silence, taking turns to get some rest while the other held watch. As Johnn slept nearby, Todd held Magdalene’s strange amulet between his fingers, turning it and staring at it and wondering what would have been without it.

What would have been mattered not, his commanding officer used to say. What mattered was what happened.

They had won.

This time.

—Submitted by Wratts

[theharlequinwriter]

Guided Arrow ..........part 1

Summary : Being Thea’s twin sister and also part of team arrow when you wake up in the another universe alone and no way home.

warnings : Swear words and PTSD 

word count : 2,402

Before I knew it Barry was reaching for my hand and we were falling down a building and then  well I don’t really know all I saw was white and when I woke up I was one the side of the road soaking wet and clearly not in star city anymore.

‘’Ollie!!......Speedy......BARRY!!!!.’’

No one answered.

‘’what the fuck happened?’’

Pulling my hood back I put my mask in my pocket and threw my bow over my back and started to walk sticking my thumb out every other foot. Finally reaching a nearby diner I asked for a booth and a cup of coffee while I pulled out all my gadgets trying to find Felicity’s or Barry's voice trying to find me.

‘’you look like you’re lost’’

Darting my head up I saw a man with blue eyes, black hair and oddly a trench coat.

‘’you can say I am in a way.’’

I winked at him as his very handsome friends walked over.

‘’Cas what the hell are you doing?’’

‘’Talking to miss.... I’m sorry I didn’t get your name.’’

‘’y/n Queen’’

‘Names Sam and Dean Winchester’’

The taller one with the long hair stuck out his hand towards me, grabbing his hand I could feel the caclus on his palm from oddly enough....a gun.

‘’So, Cas said you’re lost?’’

Dean asked as he shuffled into my booth.... uninvited.

‘’Yeah, I guess, the last thing I remember is reaching for flash.......my friends hand as I fell then everything went black. I woke up on the side of the road and made my way here.’’

‘’Well we can help you find your way back if you like.’

‘’YES, thank you.’’

Walking outside dean helped me into the car and we were off to their house or what they called their bunker. Once inside i made my way to their version of the quiver. Setting my arrows and hood on the couch began to scan their place. Clearly they really are brothers, not sure on Cas thou.. Possibly dean's boyfriend? not by the way dean watched my ass get into the car. Walking around I found their library full of supernatural information.

‘Where were you guys when darhk was around?’’

Dean came into the room with 4 beers. Handing one to me as Sam sat down and opened his laptop.

‘’So, let's start with your hometown or where you were last.’’

‘’Star city.’’

I watched as Sam typed it into his keyboard and his eyes going wide.

‘’uhm y/n that city doesn’t exist at least not that google knows.’’

‘'w-W-W WHAT DO YOU MEAN DOESN’T EXSIT I WAS JUST THERE!!!’’

‘’Google says nothing found for a Star city.’’

‘’MY WHOLE LIFE IS THERE, MY BROTHER, MY TWIN SISTER, MY NEPHEW! MY BESTFRIENDS MY FAMILY GOD DAMN IT!!!’’

I threw the beer onto the floor.  

‘’’listen y/n lets google your family maybe they will come up, you did say your sister in law was a hacker maybe she's hiding the results.’’

‘Okay my Sibling are Oliver and Thea Queen, my best friend is Iris West Allen, Her husband is Barry Allen.’’

Dean looked up at me  

‘’You're Brother and best friend are named after comic books?’’

‘NO?’’

Sam ran to the other room carrying back a few plastic covered comic books with the titles. GREEN ARROW and the other THE FLASH. I felt my head going dizzy and everything went black. When i came too I was lying on a couch, I could hear Sam and dean talking.

‘’Maybe she escaped the looney bin.’’

‘’maybe she hit her head harder than she thought.’’

‘’OR THE HOT CHICK IS CRAZY!’’

I made a coughing noise as I walked into the room.

‘Come sit, I'm going to blow your minds.’

We all headed in the war room and sat down.

‘’So, my name is Y/n Queen, my brother is Oliver Queen and Yes he is the Green Arrow, My sister and I are quickdraw and speedy. My Best friend is the wife of the flash, we discovered other worlds or dimensions a long time ago. I'm guessing that’s where I am in a world where I'm nothing more than words on a page.’’

Both Winchesters sat there with their mouths gaping.

‘’So, you're like a real super hero?’’

‘’I guess so, Ollie more is than me, I'm just backup.’’

‘And how did you get here?’’

‘Cisco must have breached me right as I grabbed Barry sending me flying through a breach, although this would be a far new distance for him....I'm happy i made it.’’

‘’Breach?’’

‘’’Rips or portals into other worlds.’’

‘’I need some air.’’

Dean stepped out of the room leaving me, Sam and Cas alone.

‘So, are their angels in your world?’

‘’not that im aware of cas , We have the league of shadows . My brother married their leader, We do have magic buts its really bad.’’

‘’Magics bad here too but more of like hocus pocus and hexes.’’

‘’so, no vigilantes?’’

‘’Not that I know of, I mean we are hunters if that counts.’’

‘’it’ll do.’’  

Sam smiled as dean walked into the room.

‘’can i shoot an arrow?’’

‘’Sure dean.’’

We went outside where I let dean have 2 arrows to shoot, he missed both times. Taking my aim, I shot to perfect straight into the apple Sam had placed on the car.

‘’How did you learn to do that?’’

‘’My brother, after slade …. I mean Death Stroke killed my mom, Ollie never wanted me and Thea to be unsafe again and after i busted him on being arrow and dig being spartan....Sorry Dig is my brothers right hand man. He welcomed me to the team as quickdraw due to the fact im a quick shot.’’

‘’wow.... you been through it.’’

‘’ oh, I got stories that would make your mind implode. Ive met a alien well a kryptonian .’’

‘’YOU FUCKIN MET SUPERMAN!!!!’

Dean was shouting now

‘’Well yeah but I meant his cousin Supergirl, she like my pen pal.’’

‘’ So I guess you're staying here till you can get home.’’

‘Thank you, Sam.,’’

Later that night  

Laying here in this strange bed in a whole other world completely alone.... alone, the one thing I fear was to be alone. I got up and headed for the library at least it has a good book maybe they will have a new series I can love. Stepping into the library I found Sam researching through a bunch of lore.

‘’Is he real?’’

Sam pointed at a comic with a man named Spiderman.

‘’maybe but not in my world or at least hasn’t made himself known.’’

He nodded to the chair next to him. Sliding into it he handed me a piece of candy.

‘’can't sleep?’’

‘’no im on earth 1 time’’

‘Earth 1?’

‘Well since I knew that one first that’s earth 1 , Supergirl is from earth 3 and I making this earth 4.’’

‘’thanks?’’

‘’So What do you like to do for fun here?’’

‘'Don’t really have time , the hunt never stops , I've actually been to hell , met lucifer and god oh and I Lost my soul and met Gods sister and died a thousand times , so has Dean and Cas.’

I could see the pain welling in his eyes, he was tired.

‘’Sounds likes my brother hehe Hes been through it for 5 years I thought he was dead and then poof he wasn’t, but he wasn’t ollie. He had scars and tattoo, spoke Russian and was very odd. He ended up letting his anger go and now we are happy again even for a moment, But your right lives like ours it only ends in death.’’

Sam laughed as he handed me a beer from the mini frige.

‘’Thats why we gotta go down swinging.’’

‘’Cheers to that.’

Tinking the beers together we continued to exchanged stories and advice. Sam made me feel safe like my life wasn't guns and masks and his wasn’t demons and vampires.

‘’Hi sam , Whose this.... she isnt from here.’’

I screamed as a young man with blonde air appeared out of nowhere.

‘’ y/ n this is jack.....lucifer's son.’’

‘’HOLY SHIT....i mean hi, im sorry im not used to people appearing like that unless they plan to kill me.’’

‘’I think its my fault you’re here.’'

‘’Jack what do you mean its your fault?’’

Before he answered he was gone.

‘’he does this when he is upset and feels guilty, he runs.’’

‘’poor guy.’’

‘Well he is only 5 months old.’’

‘’yeah well …..wait what?’’

‘’he aged in order to survive.’’

‘’oh...so are you completely human?’’

‘’yeah I mgiht be missing a bit of my soul here and there.’’

Sam smiled at his own remark, we headed into the library to research anything on other worlds. 3 hours and 5 cups of coffee each later neither Sam or I found anything besides that I may be stuck here forever. Sam already promised I have a home with them here and I will never be alone as long as hes around. I couldn’t help but notice how warm and safe I feel around him.  

I woke up to the feeling of someone breathing, as I opened my eyes I  found myself on sams chest cluctching a book on demi gods while sam had one arm wrapped around me and they other on a book on greek gods. We must of fallen asleep on the couch studying , he looks so happy when hes asleep like he isnt living a hard life everyday. Before I could take in anymore of the moment dean came busting into the room causing sam to jump shoving me to the floor.

‘Jacks back’

We all ran to the den where jack sat on the couch clutching his head in his hands. I walked over placing my hand on his shoulder.

‘are you okay?’’

‘im sorry’’

‘’for what....bringing me here. Ive been through worse trust me.’

He looked at me with his bloodshot eyes and buried his head into my chest hugging me tightly. He was still sobbing but at least now he knew I didn’t blame him.

‘so nothing from jack yet?’’

It has been almost 3 weeks since I arrived here , Cas has been working with jack to see if maybe he can re open the rip to send me home. I offered to ask barry and iris to help jack understand himself better, run some test and see what he can and cant handle. Then there's sam , we have gotten really close since I arrived late night studying and him teaching me how to put up warding's and devils traps. I even promised him id get the anti-possession tattoo once im home. Sitting in the den reading the local paper scanning for any sign of supernatural creatures.

‘hey y’n’’

Sam came into the room handing me a cup of coffee and sitting next to me , smiling at me god I love it when he smiles. Snapping out of my  trance I had to nod and try to catch up.

‘so jack thinks if we can find a dream walker we can send you home.’

‘’where do we find one of these dream walkers’’

‘’well that’s the thing we only knew one and shes dead but jack thinks he has a lead on another in ohio, him and dean went to check it out . Cas heard of one in California so he went out that way , that just leaves us.’’

Falling into the chair in the library I picked up a comic with the title green arrow looking at the way they drew my brother.

‘’ollie doesn’t have a beard ‘’

Sam chuckled.

‘’what?’’

‘’just how you call him ollie makes him seem like he isnt in a comic book in our world.’’

‘’this should be so odd to you I mean look what I found.’’

I held up a anime comic named supernatural starring sam and dean.

‘'that was written by god , not by a geek in a basement.’’

‘’ so whats sam / dean?’’

‘’how did you hear about that?’’

‘’im a vigilante , if I want info I get it.’’

‘’its nothing , its gross.’’

‘’so am I in one of these books or do I not matter?’’

‘’they stopped being made after dean went to hell , cas is isnt in them either..... but you matter to me ‘

Looking up sam was starring at me with a small smirk on his lips. Shaking his head I could see him searching the room in a painc.

‘’you said something about food and a movie?’

‘uhh yea set up in the tv room I got burgers and venom’’

About halfway into the movie sam got up to leave the room, wondering what was up I decide to follow him into the kitchen , sam was pacing the room on the phone.

‘’what do you mean she was a phony? , y/n is going to be heart broken.’’

‘’yeah I know dean but I do care for her ...of course id love to be with her........dean she has a family and a life....we weren't ever supposed to meet.’’

He hung up his phone turning towards me.

‘’y/n......uhm’’

Without thought I moved forward crashing my lps into his pulling him closer by is plaid collar , his fands found my hips lifting me onto my tip toes pulling me into him. Taking a step back I looked up at him feeling the blood rush to my face when dean came rushing in.

‘hey robin hood we might need your help.’’

Climbing into the impala we drove to a empty house where three bodies laid on the porch and woman with short hair came forward extending her hand.

‘’names Jody , dean here tells me your one of us.’’

Nodding I looked at dean.

‘why do you need me here?’’

‘’because this guy here says hes from star city’’

Stepping into the door, a man with his hands and feet tied laid on the floor with a bag on his head, reaching out i lifted the bag to revel cold dead eyes and a buzz cut along with the smile of the devil and his body covered in tattoos.

‘’d-d—d—d-d- dia'’

‘’hello y/n , Miss me baby doll ?’’

[elizas-writing]

When Wish Fulfillment Fantasies Meet Reality: A Re-Examination of Twilight

 **CW/TW: The following piece discusses dating violence with brief mentions to sexual assault and self-harm.**

This year, the last Fifty Shades movie finally came and went, and as its popularity slowly morphs into a bad memory for pop culture, I’m thinking again about the fiction’s effect on reality, particularly wish fulfillment fantasies, self-insert stories, etc etc.

This train of thought began with the Twilight series after watching Lindsay Ellis’s video essay, “Dear Stephenie Meyer,” where she revisits the hatred surrounding said franchise. While it’s definitely not without serious flaws, Twilight was not really as bad as people made it out to be. And most of the criticism was solely about millions of young girls and their moms liking a thing because, what a shock, our society tends to hate anything feminine. I was definitely one of those teenage girls who wanted nothing to do with Twilight, surprising no one probably. Even though I had enough plot summary from friends to pick up the actual problems of the story, I just had fun hating it for the sake of hating it and disassociating with anything feminine because I was neck-deep in my weeaboo phase.

Cut to about seven years later, I took a Vampires in Pop Culture class and Twilight (the first of the series) was on the reading list. With a more mature mind, I sat down, read it, and yeah, it really was not as bad as I thought. Yes, Bella’s too one-dimensional, Edward’s still pretty creepy, and the dialogue and prose is at best, ridiculous and at worst, stale. It knows its target audience is tweens and reads as such, which unfortunately doesn’t grip me as an adult. I gave up at the baseball scene cause I was ready to gouge my eyes out if I read one more description of the weather. And give credit where it’s due, the side characters have way more fascinating stories than Bella or Edward, and it’s a shame Meyer didn’t take a chance to further expand them instead. I couldn’t find much to be angry about with the first book, and I was honestly more bored than anything. But I also cannot deny the wish fulfillment fantasy driving the narrative which drew in a large audience all those years ago.

And wish fulfillment is fine. Self-insert is fine. Teenage girls are just figuring out what confidence is, and there is some reassurance in a fantasy where the totally out-of-league man of your dreams still finds you the most fascinating human being in the world and wants to give you all his undivided attention. Not every female lead needs to be a strong independent woman who don’t need no man. I still see people write self-insert fanfictions from time to time, and they’re very sweet and tender to imagine being loved by a favorite character. We actually consume these stories more than we like to admit.

Hell, one of my favorite guilty pleasure films is The Princess Diaries. In many ways, it hits the same notes as Twilight. It’s a pure wish fulfillment fantasy where the main girl is smart, but clumsy and awkward and just wants to be invisible. Yet she finds herself on a whirlwind journey of self-discovery where others find value in her, and she even falls in love with a boy who adores her regardless of how she perceives herself. Yet The Princess Diaries is such a popular chick flick among people my age. So why is something like The Princess Diaries fondly remembered as an integral part of a millenial/Gen Z childhood while Twilight is met with disdain and disgust?

The major differences boil down to the main female protagonists: Mia and Bella. While not an overly complex character, Mia has, well, a personality. Her journey is more personal of overcoming her social anxiety and realizing how much she can contribute to the world as a public figure if she just takes the leap of faith. Getting a romance in the end is just icing on the cake when she remembers who was there for her even when she was the awkward nerd and will love her regardless of appearance or social status. It’s cheesy and hokey as chick flicks do, but it’s a satisfying wish fulfillment fantasy where the protagonist is better off than where she started and what she was looking for was right there all along.

With Bella, I barely know who she is outside of her romantic interests. Sure, the books go into more detail of her intelligence and social anxiety, but it’s never seen in film. Her life completely revolves around her relationships to the point of obsession, but we never almost see what she’s like when not caught up in the supernatural love triangle. And unfortunately, it’s a problem which worsens with each sequel. The Twilight franchise frames romance as something Bella can’t live without to the point of shutting herself in for months when the Cullens leave in New Moon, refusing to talk to her friends and family, and getting night terrors. It’s intended to make you feel sorry for Bella, but her backwards priorities make her completely pathetic on how much of her life she misses because of some boy who didn’t hesitate to cut her from his life, and she was totally fine with him leaving if he didn’t turn her into a vampire.

Prioritizing unrequited love over your own well being is such an unhealthy idea to romanticize because there is far more to life than some dumb boy who won’t return your feelings. I saw my fair share of unsatisfying romances in young adulthood hanging on by a thread for some idealized love that’s never going to happen. Even though a break up is the simplest and most effective solution for both people to take care of themselves, they continue wasting their time being unhappy with each other and latching on to the rose-tinted view of how they first fell in love. I know some people don’t like the idea that you have to love yourself before someone else, but there’s still truth to the saying where you have to understand that being in a romantic relationship will not automatically fix all your problems and guarantee a happily ever after.

Aside from getting married and having a baby which almost kills her during pregnancy, Bella doesn’t grow as a character or develop any personality, and she just gets her happy ending anyway. The Volturi hint that Bella is special because she’s unaffected by vampire powers, but that detail is shuffled to the sidelines to get more of Jacob and Edward butting heads on who she’ll choose. Most of the story’s events are outside her control and she doesn’t explore further into what they mean about her being special, and even her turning into a vampire-- not even of her own volition, but as a last ditch attempt to save her while dying in childbirth-- doesn’t change that much about her except now she’s immortal and she can bang Edward without getting knocked unconscious again.

I know Twilight is commercial romantic fiction meant to go in one ear and out the other, but it’s still such a damn waste of great lore and  build up with no pay off. And Bella is such a bore of a protagonist to follow the entire time even for a blank slate who is meant to be easily identifiable for teenage readers. Again, not every female character needs to wield a sword or be flawless at everything they do, but having an engaging arc is the simplest bare minimum when writing your story’s protagonist. But that got lost in drawn out weather descriptions and, of course, the unhealthiest romances in fiction.

In a 2013 interview with TIME about her book, The Host, Meyer says she never thinks much about if her protagonists are good role models because “it’s fiction... I don’t think you should be using fictional characters as role models.” To that, I strongly disagree and am rather surprised to hear from Meyer given the great battles of Team Edward vs Team Jacob as each of the films released in theaters. Granted, this is an old interview, and I don’t know how much her opinion changed, but it still irks me.

Whether you like to admit it or not-- especially on the wonderful world of Tumblr.com--, fiction affects our reality. It alters our perception on politics, race, gender, lifestyles, and yes, even romance. Especially as kids and teenagers, we can’t help but find role models to base our ever-changing identities on and look up to so we can be better people for ourselves and society. It’s the reason why so many people define themselves on what Hogwarts house they’re in, why Disney milks Star Wars as long as they can, and why black communities arranged trips for everyone to see Black Panther. And unfortunately, I can’t bring myself to say Twilight is completely harmless in how it portrays the romances.

Just type in any search engine about abusive relationships in Twilight, and you get millions upon millions of analyses on how Edward and Jacob check off as abusers. They’re controlling, aggressive, easy to become jealous, and lacking any notion of personal boundaries. However, one abuser often forgotten in this conversation is Bella, who is such a despicable, emotional manipulator.

Remember how ridiculously depressed she gets in New Moon when Edward leaves? Well, she starts seeing visions of Edward checking in on her whenever she seems to be in danger. And she gets the bright idea to keep purposefully doing so-- including hanging out with shady gang members, crashing a motorcycle and jumping off a cliff-- just to get his attention and hopefully coax him to return to Forks. I’m surprised she didn’t just straight up say “If you leave me, I’ll kill myself” because it’s such textbook gaslighting. And when Edward is led to believe Bella died, then he attempts suicide! And she’s seriously surprised he would given how much needless self-harm she did over the months? What else did you think was going to happen?! I can’t even laugh at some of the badness of New Moon because Bella’s toxic behavior leaves such a sour taste in my mouth. Her severe romantic dependency went from being a damsel-in-distress to an abusive, emotionally manipulative screwball. And that’s just scraping the tip of the iceberg, folks.

Upon actually watching all the films for the first time, Edward’s behavior isn’t nearly as bad as my first perceptions when I was in middle school, but his possessiveness and lack of personal space are still incredibly uncomfortable. I know we all wrote that fanfiction where person A gets saved by person B from attempted gang rape, but Edward is so overbearingly and exhaustively protective, and it just gets worse in the sequels up until Bella’s finally transformed into a vampire. It is to the point where he hardly trusts Bella to do anything by herself knowing how massive of a klutz she is, and will pop into her home without permission, warning or respect of her personal space. As such, she never grows independence, much less learn how to protect herself or be prepared when supernatural forces come for her while the Cullens leave.

Edward may have good intentions to think of Bella’s safety with the context of other vampires mercilessly killing humans in Washington state, but he’s also on a slippery slope of controlling nearly every aspect of her life, especially when she might start feeling romantic for someone else, because guess what dude? You left for over half a year. This continuing behavior throughout the series heavily contributes to Bella’s unhealthy dependency on a romantic partner to the point where she feels like she can’t live without them. Granted, that doesn’t excuse her emotional manipulation, but because she never learns self-defense on the off chance no one else is there to save her, it’s no wonder why she has severe issues with separation and loneliness. Like I said before, you can’t have a healthy romantic relationship if you think it’s going to automatically fix all your problems. Your romantic partner isn’t your therapist or coping mechanism, especially if you can’t handle a simple break up or if said partner wasn’t even that great to begin with.

You’d think Jacob would be off the hook since he at least doesn’t watch Bella while she’s sleeping, but he’s not escaping unscathed. Despite how the series tries to explain what imprinting is, it’s glanced over so quickly on the now creepy relationship between Jacob and Bella’s daughter, even all things considered for a rapidly growing vampire child. He also has a ton of aggressive tendencies as part of the werewolf gene to the point where he will inevitably hurt Bella-- as illustrated with another pack member’s live-in girlfriend who has scars across her face--, and has zero respect for consent as he forcibly kisses her on multiple occasions. Yeah, cause painting your Native American characters-- and only prominent characters of color-- as inevitable, aggressive predators sure is good representation and definitely not some awful racial stereotype. Jacob embodies the most basic descriptors of toxic masculinity between his sense of entitlement that Bella should choose him over Edward and the “boys will be boys” mentality as though Jacob is completely incapable of any self-control, werewolf or not. Given the recent news surrounding Brett Kavanaugh’s nomination and his defenders claiming “what boy hasn’t done this” and that he shouldn’t be punished for his actions as a young man, Jacob’s character is one of the most dangerous aspects of the series to be romanticized as a wish fulfillment fantasy. He’s not only based on gross racial stereotypes, but also on harmful patriarchal ideas of men thinking they’re entitled to women without any consideration to their autonomy. Normalizing this behavior as attractive qualities in a partner allows men to run from their actions without consequence.

And this toxic masculinity only heightened when Fifty Shades of Grey entered the spotlight for pop culture to bash, but had much more legitimate criticisms to garner hatred.

Fifty Shades of Grey changes up the wish fulfillment fantasy where instead of a vampire, the clumsy and awkward female lead, Anastasia Steele, is swept away by billionaire, Christian Grey, who’s happy to spoil her with grand luxuries but has a troubled past which makes it difficult for him to love. Oh, and he’s into BDSM and writes up a questionable contract for Anastasia on all the kinky shit he wants to do. And Anastasia is so sweet and innocent she doesn’t even know what an anal plug is (like, it’s right there in the name, sweetheart. You can’t be this dumb). As you do, things go wrong, they take a break, Christian dumps his tragic anime backstory on Anastasia as a pathetic excuse to apologize, people from his past show up because reasons, and they eventually live happily ever after, married with a baby on the way.

Not only does Christian hit the same abuser red flags as Edward, Jacob and Bella on top of being the worst dom in history, but the series passes off that anyone can be fixed with the power of love. Once again, your romantic partner isn’t your therapist. Trauma may explain his behavior, but that doesn’t excuse what he put Anastasia through, and neither is it suddenly her job to fix him. And abusers like Christian are never reformed so easily with love; more often than not, they use it as leverage to manipulate and keep the relationship going for the sake of control. Sure, it sounds hot to be in a BDSM relationship with a billionaire ready to spoil you, but do the ends really justify the means of that sweet wish fulfillment? Is it really that great of a fantasy to play your partner’s therapist and humor their extreme control and possessiveness to the point where you’re almost not allowed to be an individual?

It’s one thing to have guilty pleasures and wish fulfillment fantasies. But after a while, you wonder what it is about a certain piece of media which makes it a guilty pleasure. It’s one thing if Twilight or Fifty Shades of Grey are guilty pleasures in some of the enjoyably bad writing, unnatural dialogue or squandered potential. But upholding these romances as ideal and disregarding all the blatant warning signs of abusive relationships? That’s where we really need to take a step back and wonder why this is remotely okay to normalize, especially for impressionable teenage girls. Even though I was mostly amused by the films’ bad writing and these poor actors pushing through for their paychecks, there was also a fair amount of content which was too uncomfortable to laugh at-- Bella’s emotional manipulation, the portrayal of werewolves, and the unsubtle anti-abortion message in Breaking Dawn: Part 1 just to name a few. It’s baffling how these properties became cultural phenomenons for their “romances of the century” when most of these character really need couples’ counseling.

Thankfully, these franchises didn’t made too lasting impressions and for the most part are forgotten. Stephenie Meyer quietly retired to continue taking care of her kids, and EL James just kinda disappeared from the media spotlight since the last film released. Maybe Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey aren’t the worst series to happen to mainstream media, but they still heavily reflect a society which to this day hesitates to call dating violence what it is. Where finding love in another takes priority over self-care. Where people still struggle to define abuse because “if that’s abuse, then everyone I know has been abused.” Where despite sexual assault survivors’ testimonies, polygraph tests, supporters, and grueling mental exhaustion to tell their stories, their abusers roam free without consequence and are still allowed power with their nasty holier-than-thou attitudes to silence anyone who dares question their character.

We’re slowly getting better in these kind of fantasies for teens with films like Love, Simon and To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before with genuinely health romances where the characters have to confront their flaws and grow. We’re a lot more critical of relationship dynamics in film than we were over a decade ago, especially with #MeToo in the last year. But part of me is still worried if we’ll have another trend like Twilight or Fifty Shades of Grey where it’s blindly defended because it’s fiction and disregard when people romanticize the severely problematic elements which don’t guarantee happily-ever-afters for couples’ in reality. As the possibility of reverting to pre-Roe vs. Wade days becomes more of a likelihood, at what point do we finally acknowledge that a simple fantasy isn’t automatically above criticism?

If you enjoyed this analysis and what I do here, consider buying me a ko-fi to show your support!

[hoenn-hakase]

TPP Bronze: Day 8. The End

Where we last saw Fifer, she had just become Champion for both Kohto and Kanto and had begun to explore the lengths of her domain as she'd hardly knew anything about Kanto. Prof. Koa gave her a Cave Pass that allowed her to go through Cerulean Cave where she found and fought her toughest opponent yet: TPP's own, AJ. Unable to beat him, she returned to Kanto's mainland where she seems to be seeking the greatest treasure of all: Her Purpose.

We start the day bright and early in Vermilion City. Having never been in a port city, but having been in a train station, Fifer sure wanted to check out the docks. What would be found down there? A big fancy boat? A rare pokemon in hiding? A gateway to HELL? Well.... APPARENTLY! D8!

Going down the stairs to where the loading area normally would be, Fifer instead stepped out of the port and into the Glitch Worl!!! Which bizarrely enough, also seems to be the source of the Plague o' Rocks that's been slowly trying to encase Kohto for some time now. A stray NPC tries to ask her if she came from Johto and admires her rare Pokemon he wonders can be found there. Glitch Worl seems to be a pretty enclosed space, having the doors blocked and buildings too fragmented to hold anything. No treasure to be found... So Fifer heads back to the Lost Boy and decides to ask the.... clone? Yes, she didn't notice at first, but there's a girl in blue who turned toward Fifer when she tried to get the girl's attention, and... SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE HER???

The girl suddenly takes her through another doorway, (down the rabbit hole indeed...) where she found herself suddenly TRAPPED in a mess of world fragments and somewhere in the distance, a horn blows, signalling that they're being taken away somewhere. Even as she can feel the "ship" moving, she eventually manages to kick the door open and stepped out to find... she was still in the same place. In front of the fragmented gym of the town she departed from anyway. How strange. Talking to another girl this time, or what she THOUGHT was another girl, turned out to be some copy of her as well and the pair of Fifers decided to shove her back into the pocket dimension to seal her away.

Wriggling out the side door this time, Fifer seemed to be quite put out with this place, and these... "twins" and decided to see if she could just fly back to Cerulean City. Somehow... that worked? She eventually went back to do a bit of a test, and certainly the port still lead into the Glitch Worl. But she could leave it just as easily with Fly. Having learned this, she heads back to the League, presumably to talk with the council about barring off the docks until they figure out how to prevent people from falling into The Void.

After dealing with those bugs, Fifer decides to go beat up some real bugs and does a long grind session in the Viridian Forest where she stumbles across a fisherman who is mad about someone telling him there was a good fishing spot there, but only bugs!

Feeling her training is complete, it's time to rechallenge AJ! And fail. ... Multiple times. So instead it's BACK to training! Off to the League to again get the help and advice of her fellow League members. There's something troubling about all this, I'm sure. AJ is known destroyer. Has he only been going easy on her?

Things only turn weirder (and Glitchier? Come on, Bronze you were holding up so well....;o; ) as she has a total WHITE out

Perhaps the answer isn't just in sheer brute strength, but something... more. Remembering Sabrina's words in how the power of the bond Fifer has with her Pokemon, the love they share, is more powerful than anything, Fifer appears to be working on strengthening her bond with Lucy

Working her way through the LITERAL Maze of Trees, Fifer finds a hidden house that seems to be some kind of Game Corner... Only there's no games inside the building. Instead a shady man tells her CONGRATS on her excellent sleuthing skills in being able to find the Secret Room. His friend then proceeds to give her AS MANY MASTER BALLS AS SHE WANTS 8O 8O 8O The chat proceeds to get so many, the game goes into a sort of "hyper mode" where the music, text, and character movements all suddenly move at an accelerated pace to speed things up XD

Having been deemed a Master of Glitchcraft, Fifer decides to test her strength elsewhere. She eventually heads to the Kanto Power Plant, where she walked through the door into the Old Couple's house in the heart of Deep Cave. Stepping out of the house proved she was, in fact, still in the cave, so it wasn't that they were removed to the Power Plant, but that she figured out how to create a portal of her own. Digging her way out, she returned to the Power Plant entrance just fine. Magic~ 8D <3

Fifer seems very excited to discover such powers and immediately decides she MUST try this elsewhere to give herself confidence in this new ability. She returns to the Glitch Worl and proves she doesn't even need to Fly to leave this weird place, as she can just step back through the doorway she created to enter it. Entering and leaving Vermilion City Gym also appears to form a gateway, giving her a shortcut back to Memoria Town.

A new plan forges as she seems to piece things together, eventually setting up a gateway at the entrance to Dark Tunnel that would lead her directly into Cerulean Cave so she could bypass the guards and go more quickly after AJ. In the end it was a long, and hard fought battle but with a bit of luck and strategizing, we FINALLY CLAIM VICTORY! >O

AJ actually doesn't have much to say (not to US anyway XD) and just as mysteriously as he appeared to Fifer.... he vanished. Leaving one to wonder if he was ever truly there... The credits roll and the Chat cries and Fifer... Well Fifer managed to warp into the game's true finale. A mysterious lookout spot where she could see all of Kohto through a lense and found --?!! waiting for her with a happy Congrats on her completing all there is to do in their tiny home. She also meets with Freako, a strange man who thanks for playing "the game". One of Koa's aides is even there, saying the professor sends his regards. Everyone's so proud of her ;o;

As she talks to all the people, and takes in the sights, her ItemFinder starts going off. A... a treasure? It doesn't appear to be in the building, but stepping outside reveals the "lookout" is in a house by the sea. It... It's Cerulean Cape! I mean, Enders Isle. Fifer continues to look around the clearing it sits in, thoroughly cut off from the rest of civilization. The ItemFinder starts to react to something outside now... she follows... She follows until she finds herself back in the gateway to Cerulean Cave and a soft mist fills the area. The Voices leave, some sending hearts and well wishes as they do so. The game ends.

This was long but still kind of fun. I think if I do this for the next run, I'll start doing it from Day 1 so hopefully I won't be SO far behind as I started this when it was almost over. I know my points of interest are kind of wonky, but I hope I could at least make these info-dumps amusing at least. Thanks! <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, well since no one asked about it, here's a few bonus notes and lore ideas to come up while I was going through all this.

The PokeGear was back in full swing this run, and we had several numbers calling us at all hours of the day, but the ones that stood out to me the most were: Youngster Zach, Camper Nate, Lass Dana, and PokeFan Beverly. I suppose given the chat's reactions whenever one of them called had something to do with it. (Dana is Bae though apparently)

I'm not sure if it was a bug or what triggered it, but while we were in Viridian Forest, Mom called after EVERY. SINGLE. TRAINER. to tell us she went and bought something and it's in the PC. Whether she was pushing for PC use or simply seems to be gaining a bit of a shopping addiction due to just how much dough Fifer's been raking in through her battle and treasure hunting skills, it was really funny. I really do wonder if the same phone call just kept getting triggered even though she only meant to call us once, or if there actually was a new item in the PC for every time she called, but we'll never know.

For anyone curious, I believe I saw we had 171 Master Balls over the course of Bronze. According to Kelcyus: "and most Masterball'd mons: Master Alakazam, Master Golbat, Master Graveler, Master Goldeen and Master Tangela which was caught with the original masterball."

Speaking of, Kelcyus made a comic about the incident, but I didn't actually notice it since I was more or less skimming over events in my vid watching so while skimming I didn't see anything out of place with a trainer battle and the continuing on down Route 9 toward the Power Plant though knowing that the area was off limits now explains SO MUCH about the stuff that happened in that area. Like the gateways to different areas because nothing was programmed in place of the Power Plant and Rock Tunnel and so forth. If I calculated correctly, the Edna OH SHIT incident happened back on Day 7. While it's hilarious that after turning into a Magicarp, Edna accuses us of hacking, the truth is, the gate house to the underground between Cerulean City and Vermilion City was meant to block the path to Route 9. Instead it was about two spaces over, creating a one space gap for Fiver to simply walk through and then use Cut on the tree as normal.

While I keep making jokes about the Plague o Rocks that seems to be tormenting Kohto (that one village I never got the name for, Acre Forest, Cerulean Cape, ect all having the large square boulders blocking off places for seemingly no reason) and then finding them EVERYWHERE in the Glitch Worl, and the stray NPC still talking about Johto, (as well as a few others like in Saffon and in the Route 9 forbidden zone) I can't help but wonder if the random rocks are Glitchwork or actually (from a lore prospective) actually from the remnants from Brown when Johto was basically buried due to (I thiiiiink?) an earthquake. Seeing how Kohto and Kanto are directly connected, and both areas have these rocks to some extent, and Johto was basically destroyed, I wonder how far flung the effects of that disaster struck. o.O;

And that's all I can think of at the moment. ^ w ^

[sceptlle]

(i typed out a long post but tumblr fucking deleted the upload so here we go i'll try to write it again) @petalsdancing @ash--greninja

plot-wise, team flare is a consistent issue, rather than something only introduced in xyz. they're introduced much earlier, and are seen as much more of a threat than they are in the anime. they take inspiration from other game villains (including cipher and team dim sun). also, game characters, like az and his floette, appear and are an active part of the plot. floette, in particular, has strong ties to clemont's family. his mother was murdered defending it, and it leads clemont to want to push ash away from legendary encounters, and he struggles to balance whether letting the world suffer is better than letting his friends suffer. also, zinnia and aster are major characters (both aster the human and aster the whismur. my human aster goes off of the one interview that described her as the former lorekeeper with special powers. in this, she was an aura adept with a deep relationship with zinnia). zinnia and ash both face similar struggles. they both struggle with being the "chosen" of their people, trying to defend them- and the world- the best they can. but while zinnia has to mourn the loss of aster, ash has to work through his personal demons he didn't give himself the time to recover from before kalos. some characterization is also taken from the games.

serena, in particular, was most heavily influenced by her game counterpart, both playable and rival versions. while i did enjoy her as a performer, her character felt like a walking stereotype- in a bad way. while serena is still a performer in this, she is also a good battler, and has a full team (the only new member of which i'll reveal is a vivillon). serena also questions herself a lot throughout the story, especially when she thinks about her decisions in life (becoming a trainer to follow her childhood friend and becoming a performer to follow her crush), and she wonders if any of her decisions she actually wanted to make. she also questions how strong her bonds with her pokemon are, since ash goes about nearly everything pokemon differently than her, and she pushed herself into being a trainer. her attraction to ash, she realizes pretty early on, wasn't actually attraction at all. her intense desire to reunite with her childhood friend, along with the strange feeling of not seeing him for years, her intense admiration of his battling and training skills, and the fact that she'd never experienced a crush before led her to think her feelings were more than platonic. i also explore her "failed" rhyhorn racing talents, and mega evolution.

ash, oh boy. i love writing his character. a lot of information about him is really spoilery. but, i'll say a bit. ash's past, including his father and life growing up, is explored a lot, and will continue to be discussed. ash's experiences in unova (particularly the events with victini) have not healed, not even a little. in a similar fashion, ash has a really unique bond with yveltal in this, rather than xerneas. ash's role as the chosen one is a struggle for him, especially after everything. kalos is really overwhelming for him at first, though it's comforting to know zinnia understands his struggle. ash is largely helped through a series of writings by a past kalosian chosen one, who ash begins to realize is closer to him than he thought.

clemont's issues, besides his pretty low self-esteem, are caused largely by flare. he sees a dark side of himself in them. some of those scientists truly believed the evil technology they were creating was the best thing for pokemon and the world. could he ever stoop so low and think it was right? flare scientists are also very interested in clemont as a possible recruit. if not, they have methods to gain his skill and creativity on their side. while also working on trying to become a better trainer (yes, he fills out his team a bit more as well), clemont struggles with his feelings towards ash.

bonnie, what a sweet kid. bonnie and iris immediately hit it off, and zinnia finds a source of positivity and optimism in her. her easy bonds with pokemon are no coincidence, and her song for squishy isn't just her own creation. she was inspired by ash's lullaby to his baby noibat. bonnie and ash, in particular, have a strong bond in this. bonnie knows better than anyone what ash is feeling, due to her extreme empathy. she forms a sisterhood with serena, and considers her a sister. but if you were to ask her about her family, she'd immediately think of her two big brothers.

and yes, iris is a major character in this. she's challenging the kalos league and completing the gyms. she wants to form strategies around fairy types, and hopefully get guidance under drasna of the elite four. her and zinnia travel together. iris, in this, understands a lot of what ash is going through, even if she didn't experience it first-hand. when ash is on his way to snowbelle and arrives there, iris calls him or messages him every night due to his feelings at the time. iris is absolutely fascinated by mega evolution, and admires zinnia's ability to mega evolve her salamence. so, as such, zinnia is involved with korrina's mega evolution arc.

long story short everyone is gay and it's a little more like the games with a ton of my lore in there. it's great.

[countmohawk]

Pokemon Sun Postgame Recollections *1

In Ultra Sun, we’d just been crowned Champion of the Alolan Pokemon League after dealing with the combined threats of Team Skull, the Aether Foundation and Necrozma.

But what if events had played out a little differently?

Even after having put the games down for about a month, this line still makes me feel a little sad.

Of course, Lillie hasn’t died or anything tragic like that. Rather, in a world where the UR Squad never crossed over into Alola, Lusamine’s obsession with her Ultra Wormhole research eventually led to an unhealthy relationship with Nihilego, culminating in her fusing with one and subsequently falling into a coma when the merger was forcibly broken apart by Nebby. Lillie then decided to take her mother to Kanto in the hopes of finding a cure for the remaining damage from the experience, while simultaneously looking to start her life as a Trainer in a new place.

Anyway, enough about Lillie for now, we have a postgame to cover!

After becoming Champion, we find ourselves back at our house, as per usual for Pokemon games. Opening the door, we are greeted by a strange man, telling us to come to the motel on Akala Island on Route 8. The summons are dubious, but in the end , curiosity wins out over caution, and we enter what was formerly Gladion’s pad!

Well, hello there, Looker! I should have known it would be you.

For those uninitiated into the background lore of some of the more recent titles, the man on the right is Looker, and he’s basically the series’ go-to field agent whenever GameFreak needs to insert a government presence into their games. For example, in Platinum, his debut game, he followed the exploits of Team Galactic, remaining one step behind the team throughout most of the story but eventually catching up to the last remaining Commander at Stark Mountain and taking him off to prison. Pokemon Black and White saw him in a similar role, where after the final confrontation with N, he enlisted the player to help him arrest the rest of the Seven Sages. ...And so on.

This time around, however, Looker appears not to be acting alone. Who’s the lady in black standing next to him, then?

Ah, Looker’s boss, I presume.

To shorten a somewhat lengthy story, Looker and Anabel explain that when Lusamine forced Cosmog!Nebby to open an Ultra Wormhole, a whole bunch of other portals opened up, through which several other Ultra Beasts entered into our world. As Ultra Beasts are potentially very dangerous creatures, it falls on the pair of them to keep the populace safe while learning more about the beasts, if possible.

Thus, the obvious question:

Of course I said yes. It wouldn’t be much of a postgame if I had refused, now would it?

Anabel is delighted to have us aboard, but due to the nature of the job, she requests a battle first, to make sure it won’t be too much for us to handle.

Now, normally I would say something like “and then I proceeded to sweep her team 6-0″ or something, but I should point out something about the level progression here. In vanilla Sun, Kukui, the last fight after the Elite Four, uses a team at roughly level 57. Anabel’s team, by contrast, is in the low 60s - so if you jump straight into this fight directly after becoming Champion, you might have a bit of a hard time. My team was around level 55 after becoming Champion, so before starting the fight, I flew over to Poni Island for an impromptu grinding session, pushing most of my team into the low 60s myself.

With the initiation formally completed, Looker directs us to head for the secret labs at the bottom of Aether Paradise, to meet a contact there for additional information. Obviously this is Wicke, since she’s the highest-ranking member of Aether who isn’t either evil or in a coma.

Before we move on to our government work, however, Wicke offers us something halfway between an apology and an explanation for Lillie’s sudden departure. I’ve written pretty thoroughly about what I think of the ending of Lillie’s arc in vanilla Sun elsewhere, so I’ll leave this topic alone for now.

After Wicke finishes her talk, we can approach her in Secret Lab B.

Since normal Poke Balls have a hard time identifying Ultra Beasts as catchable lifeforms, Lusamine commissioned a new model which would be more suited for use on them. This makes sense, I suppose; the line between Pokemon and Ultra Beast is blurry at best - alien geometries and all that. The Beast Ball’s design, if you look at it in the menu, is very much inspired by the appearance of both the Ultra Wormhole (the blue square patterns) and Cosmog/Cosmoem (the gold bands encircling it).

Our business with Wicke concluded, we have one more stop to make in Aether Paradise before returning to Anabel and Looker’s motel room. Gladion is loitering around in the conservatory, in the same part of the room where we first encountered Nihilego:

In Ultra Sun, we already know about how Professor Mohn disappeared into an Ultra Wormhole and how his disappearance destabilized Lusamine. However, it takes until now for vanilla!Gladion to open up about his disappeared dad. I do like that despite his gruff demeanor, he apparently trusts us enough to tell us basically everything he knows about his family drama.

Oh yeah, and he entrusts us with one more thing, too:

Gladion mentioned there were three Type: Null made in total. One of these, obviously, is his partner Null, now a Silvally. Of the two that remain, he allows us to take one, along with literally a “whole stack” of memory drives to change its type once it evolves.

From Gladion, this is basically the highest of praise. This is also our last interaction with the guy in the game, aside from Title Defense fights at the Elite Four, so it’s fitting that there should be no loose ends between us and him at the end of it.

I may not have mentioned it before, probably because Lillie tends to take front stage whenever the Aether family’s drama gets any screentime, but Gladion gets a surprising amount of character development, all things considered. He doesn’t change in the same way that Lillie changes, per se, but as we learn more about his motivations throughout the game, the initial impression we get of him as a complete edgelord ends up almost turned on its head, while the man himself learns how to defrost around others. He’s still an edgelord, mind you - just not as big of one as it appears.

Because Type: Null was designed to be able to fight the Ultra Beasts as a “beast killer”, I thought it would be appropriate to add it to my team. It’s only Lv40 when we receive it, however, so before we return to the Interpol hut, we have a little bit of training to do to get him caught up and evolved.

Our first stop is actually the GameFreak building in Heahea City on Akala, which I completely missed on my playthrough and had to be told where it was on an online guide. After becoming Champion, we can fight Morimoto, one of the GameFreak employees, once per day.

Morimoto’s team isn’t quite as hard as Anabel’s, but their levels are about the same, so you can’t just walk in and expect a free win. Nonetheless, I did beat him, and in addition to the EXP and money, I was rewarded with the Oval Charm, which increases the likelihood of finding an Egg at the Pokemon Nursery.

The other thing we do is head towards Poni Plains, which was blocked off by an old man but is now accessible due to our Championship status. Just before we can approach him, however, who but Dexio and Sina show up for one more go-around.

I don’t think they ever found whatever it was they were looking for. That said, it’s very convenient that they should bump into me one more time before they leave. That way they can give us a Key Stone and enable Mega Evolution - not that I have any eligible ‘Mons. Still, it���s the thought that counts.

Next time, the hunt for the Ultra Beasts commences in earnest!