#also I hope this isn’t Too Long ?? I try to use readmore when it feels like a dash extender but…

[candycryptids]

🍷: What's one of your OC's pet peeves concerning food? for Mochiie

🍻: What's your OC's favourite comfort ritual? How do they calm themselves down after a rough day? for Levraut

🍒: Has Your OC had their first kiss yet? If so, with who? for Ishi'li

🎂: Has your OC have any contradictory interests or traits to the first preception people have of the? How do they surprise people? for Chuusday

🍰: What's something your OC counts as unforgivable? for Tuesday

So firstly I’m showering you in flower petals and handing you a party napkin (Pokémon themed) with three cookies on it

🍷[Food Rituals; Mochiie] Mochi’s peeve is food made for the sake of making ‘pretty/aesthetic/art’ food (things like, you get a plate of one bite. He wants food to be filling and nourishing and shareable lmao.) His other peeve is making food spicy just for the sake of it being spicy, disregarding flavor (Zero makes him so nuts. The fact that the smell alone of her preferred curry makes him physically Ill doesn’t help, lmao)

🍻 [Comfort Rituals; Levraut ] depends on if it’s been a STRESSFUL day or a SAD day, lmao. Stressful days, nothing a round of drinks at the drowning wench can’t help fix (and a rowdy brawl, probably; flirting badly with another man’s girl is a great way to catch a stray fist, which leads readily to an intentional fist, which leads to a bucket of ice water and being thrown out for the evening, but as it goes.) Sad days tend to be soothed with three pints and then sitting on the dock and staring at the reflection of the sky (hopefully there’s a moon to look at!) and. Reflecting. Possibly writing down a mess of words for later, to work through what he’s thinking/feeling at the time

🍒 [First Kiss; Ishi’li] Ishi’s first kiss is, I Think with Keathan ( @zombiesockfuckinglovescardfight is that right?) but its for the silliest reasons which is that he wanted to. Have Experience and. He’s been adventuring now for at least a year and hasn’t done ANYTHING like other adventurers beside sleep on the hard ass ground and take down an empire and have a rivalry turned friendship with tension and nonsense with Kizuna (the main WoL) (his first kiss with Kizuna I thiiink doesn’t occur for quite some time after…. Not one they’d both qualify as a First Kiss. I think it’s Late-Shadowbringers….)

🎂 [Contradictory/Surprising Interest/Trait; Chuusday] Chuu’s first impression on people is usually less than hinged woman who will become scarce the moment the situation no longer interest her; I.E. there’s no more allagan/Garlean tech to look at.. her surprising trait would likely be intense love for Carbuncles. Since she disregards most other Organic Creatures (her Chocobo, Friday is cared for by Tuesday or the stablehands, they have a very Professional relationship and it’s tailored towards combat rather than Transport) she’s not even a proper summoner; her skills extend as far as being able to summon a Carbuncle because they’re the ideal creature. No need for food or water and when you’re busy they can be dissipated into the aether… (but you CAN feed them table scraps… most excellent creature) (Talia and Cid might be the only people to KNOW this, though)

🍰 [Unforgivable Action; Tuesday] it’s hard to find the morality line for him the earlier in his lifetime you get. A lot of his lines had to be programmed or Taught through experiences- but by the time Shadowbringers comes around an unforgivable action ends up being an action that violates someone’s Self (G’Raha was on thin ice for a while because of the soul snatching, the thing Lahabrea did to Thancred in ARR would also fall under this but obviously happened before he was alive lol. The way Minfilia’s were trained and made to do one specific thing, the, being a chosen hero shaped into a Hero’s image, it hits a gray area, but Ranjit firmly placed himself in the red zone through his use of force against Ryne… this was an interesting thing to think about 🥰)

[Ask Meme !]

[coconutcows]

If you do not mind the ask, who do you miss and what has caused you to miss said person (s)?

Ps. I have been following you for some time and I really enjoy your blog. You have interesting reads and your projects are quite cute.

Hope you are staying safe during the wildfires.

Hello!! I’m surprised to hear of anybody following me for awhile, it’s hard for me to picture anyone sticking around for me but that makes me happy to hear!!! And I’m very happy you find my projects cute, I’d like to sell them I think but I don’t know if people would want them haha

With the wildfires we’ve been safe, none were too close to us and we got lots of rain while they happened, but it’s only early and barely summer so I’m going to prepare for more, im going to write a list and pack up things I couldn’t bear to lose so if one happens near us and and evacuation order happens I can bug out ASAP

With the person I miss, this is a long thing, I’ve been putting off posting about it until I felt better but if I’m still feeling like this right now I don’t think that’ll be anytime soon tbh. But back in November my significant other of over five years broke up with me and I’m having trouble about it. I miss them dearly, it was a messy breakup but not a bad one and we’re on good terms but, fuck I really miss them. I’m going to talk about it under a readmore

They were my first relationship. They were my first kiss, first of a lot of things. They didn’t put up with my bullshit and kept me grounded. They were willing to listen to my opinions and I’d listen to theirs. They made me feel wanted and valued. A lot of our opinions and values lined up and what didn’t, we agreed to disagree. They were the one who got me into many major movies like Jurassic Park and Star Wars (they have the best taste in movies honestly). They introduced me into a wide range of music from oldies to Russian rock. I think about nights I couldn’t sleep and watched them sleep until I drifted off. I think about how no matter how tired or angry about work just seeing their face made it better. How a kiss on the forehead from them would take away my anxieties. How one night they walked me to my door and I didn’t want to let go when we hugged goodnight. All the video games we played.

A lot of people might think I’m just looking through rose coloured glasses but I’m not. I know I’m not. Because I think of the arguments, I think about the times they made me feel bad (though I don’t think they ever meant to), I think about the frustrations. And it still makes me miss them. I’ve thought about fights and they’ve made me cry and miss them just as much as beautiful moments. There were at least three times I thought about breaking up with them but it always ended with “no, I love them and this isn’t something to break up over”.

It is or was, a real love. A “can you look at this thing on my back???” love. A “don’t worry about being sick, I’ll clean your puke bucket” love, a “I made your favourite food for supper even though I don’t like it” love. I still love them. I always will. They could come back to me tomorrow or in ten years and I’d welcome them back. I might find someone else but it won’t be the same. I don’t even know if I will or can, but truthfully I can’t even think about it right now, the thought of someone else touching me disgusts me.

Truthfully I hope they come back I really do, but I’m also trying to accept whatever will happen if they don’t. It’s hard. They are the most beautiful person in the world to me and will always be one of the most important people, and I’d still do anything for them.

[merv606]

BUSTS DOWN THE DOOR LIKE THE KOOL-AID MAN.

I have been saying this!!!!!!

And I love your response - 1000% agree.

More people need to spread this gospel 🙏

Pulls up a chair, takes out my Silverusso Thesis, straightens papers.

I’ve answered some asks and done some posts on the topic so, I basically gathered them to put here with your lovely answer as a lot of it agrees with your points (so there will be some overlap).

This is long and apologies if it’s rambling and repetitive - it’s late but I have too many Silverusso feels, and I hope this doesn’t come across as me trying to hijack your post, which is awesome and very well articulated (unlike what I have in store under the readmore).

The fact that anyone would think Kreese is Terry’s TRUE weakness is crazy to me - look at how dispensable he was to Terry.

Plus it’s been shown that Kreese is a sense of obligation - a debt he owes and if there’s one thing Terry hates is owing people (probably a feeling he’s not used to now - people owe him) and look at how happy he is once he gets rid of Kreese - the albatross around his neck - not his weakness.

War creates a bond that no one can understand unless they’re lived it - as does the bond created when someone saves your life.

BUT

To have a debt like that on your head - that you owe someone your life. Knowing you will never be able pay that debt back - to be free of it. That you will always feel indebted to that person for everything you have - your very life …. I cannot imagine what that feels like nor do I want to know.

Must feel like your neck is always in the guillotine esp when the relationship with that person whom you owe that debt to isn’t the greatest.

AND

You can tell Kreese won’t let him forget and holds it over him.

And you can tell how sick of it Terry is - “ahhh there it is”

He expects and knows Kreese will bring it up - he also knows Kreese is a “user.”

When they first meet again - it’s quite biting - “you want me to cut you a cheque?!”

Kreese is also clearly stuck in the past, unable to live in the moment.

Trying to pull rank for example - like Terry is still under him, which is clearly not the case. He has no control of Terry - just thought he did, and I think Terry is fed up with Kreese’s bullshit and holding onto that part of their past and the weight it carries.

It’s why he rejects his offer the first time - he doesn’t live in the past like Kreese does. He at least tried to get help to move on and live his life - he wants no part of it.

So I think the weakness in terms of their relationship is the fact that he feels he owes Kreese his life and all the entails.

I do not think Kreese himself, the actual person, is his weakness, not for a second.

I equate cutting Kreese out of his life to cutting out a cancer and how it makes you feel - disease free.

Look at his reaction:

Not only does Terry have no issue at all with doing it, but look how happy he is after he does it - he’s free.

Kreese is the one who’s shocked - all because he thought he was in control and he does not know Terry as well as he thought.

Also, do you think Terry wouldn’t have found Kreese if he really wanted to. He let Kreese leave his life without giving a damn or a second thought for three decades!!!

And it’s not Kreese that draws him in (he’s not even happy to see him).

Why do you think Kreese mentions Daniel?! - to hook him back in because he wasn’t biting on what Kreese was selling.

“Danny boy?!” That reaction!

The only reason he even started down the path of batshit insanity was Daniel and his rejected apology.

“What’s next?”

“We wipe the floor with the arrogant prick.”

Kreese smiles - he knew that would be the outcome. At least he knows that much about Terry.

Also, end note - to be clear - Daniel is not responsible for Terry’s actions - as you are under no obligation to accept an apology - sincere or not - nor are you responsible for another grown man’s actions.

And yes - such fondness for his Danny Boy - the way his voice is - “it’s good to see you.”

The fact that Terry WARNS his boy - you’re playing with fire.

Kind of like - don’t make me hurt you.

Kreese never got the warning - just framed for attempted murder 😂

No one gets warning or gets to treat Terry the way Daniel does - the grace Terry gives him AND the good humour he had for his interactions with Daniel.

They may have had Terry saying Kreese was his weakness but:

Actions speak louder than words.

We only see Kreese and Terry when Kreese needs something from him - hence his whole “you want a cheque John.” This is what Kreese is - he uses people for his own gain - tries to manipulate them.

And we are always reminded that Terry feels obligated to Kreese due to him saving his life.

Their whole foundation is built on a sense of duty (Terry) and a person who knows they can exploit that sense of duty (Kreese).

EXCEPT

This time it didn’t work like that - we see that right from the beginning.

Kreese basically saying - hey I need your help.

And Terry’s reaction speaks volumes.

Flat out - plainly says no, aka too damn bad.

Doesn’t even care at that point about his supposed debt to Kreese - not even enough to say yes to a simple enough request or even take more than a few seconds to think it over or hear him out.

And it continues to not work like that - no matter how many times Kreese brings up the past.

Also, it should be pointed out that this is not the first time the debt Terry feels he owes Kreese does not win out. Terry takes up the family business - leaving Kreese alone with cobra Kai. His sense of duty is stronger than that which he feels toward as Kreese there as well.

Let’s compare too - Terry’s reintroduction to the two men.

Doesn’t see or hear from Kreese for 3 plus decades - and doesn’t even answer his call, and instant change in mood - he is not even a bit happy to hear from Kreese - at all.

But his reaction to Daniel’s name - his whole face changes - he smiles and how he says with genuine emotion in his voice - “Danny- Boy?”

Not Danny, not Daniel, not Larusso - no - the nickname that only he called him and it springs right to mind. RIGHT TO MIND. AND this would be the nickname he gave while coked up so the impression Daniel left a mark despite the drug.

Also he knew Daniel’s commercials - HE KNEW HIS COMMERCIALS).

In the beginning Kreese has to crash his party to even get a second of Terry’s time.

Meanwhile Terry seeks out Daniel.

“It’s good to see you.”

And once again his facial features and voice change when he sees Daniel. They literally soften - for lack of a better word.

There’s a tenderness when he looks and speaks to Daniel.

The fact that he is genuinely upset that Daniel rejects him - and TIG kind of confirms this when he mentions that Terry’s apology was sincere - which quickly turns to anger.

“Arrogant prick” or is Terry just pissed because, well, now he has to admit that Daniel does not look at their time as fondly as Terry does.

We know Terry had fun - this is evident all throughout KK3 and there are times when, it can be argued that he forgets himself and appears to just be having fun teaching him - when he breaks the boards for example and Terry gets caught up in his excitement.

He may say in the beginning that his behaviour was crazy (or whatever it is he says) and when he apologizes he says his behaviour was terrible BUT we know he had fun or liked Daniel.

Look how quickly his tune changes in the mini mart - you were powerful and free and Terry flat out scoffing when Daniel says you tortured me - “you liked it.”

Well maybe Terry is projecting - maybe he needs Daniel to admit he liked it as much as Terry did.

Also the smile and chuckle to himself when Daniel walks past him (also Terry doesn’t move - makes Daniel squeeze past him - delicious).

The delighted look on his face as he looks down - he’s having fun playing with Danny-boy again even after all these years.

But it’s obvious he has a lot more fun being around Daniel than when he is around Kreese. His whole demeanour, tone, and attitude change.

Seems Daniel brings out a side of him no one else gets to see during the season.

And Daniel gets warnings, after warnings - there’s a certain tenderness to Terry here, in doing this - the illusion of granting mercy - so very not cobra like.

Kreese never got that - he got “stabbed in the back”, thrown in jail because Terry framed him all the while Terry is celebrating by dancing and drinking wine - not an ounce of remorse.

But his Danny boy - no, he gets warnings, smiles, chuckles, and soft tones.

Why does Daniel get those things?! Why doesn’t he just get rid of him - he easily could.

You can decide that for yourself.

Also - Side note:

The eye fucking at the AVT!!!!

So much eye fucking

The other key too - to seeing Daniel as Terry’s weakness is the ANGER — they both bring it out in each other - but with Kreese he just seems tired but Danny-boy, oh Danny makes him mad. Danny-boy makes him finally lose his temper - Danny makes the real Terry emerge from under the fake facade Terry had been plastering on.

Let’s look at the infamous apartment scene.

When Terry unleashes that anger.

Thing is, in the context of the scene and a Terry’s reaction - (what Daniel is to Terry) it makes sense.

Terry, is angry at Daniel - truly angry:

Not pissed (like the sauna scene) but truly angry - and he loses his temper in a way we haven’t seen (and different than beating Sting Ray as that was a means to an end to frame Kreese).

And why?!

Because he was meddling? A thorn in Terry’s side?

No. He likes Danny’s attitude after all (CANON).

He was angry because Daniel was willing to give up - walk away - from this thing - this game they were playing - which equates to willing to walk away from Terry.

And that is unacceptable.

Dare I say Terry fears it - Daniel walking Away - losing him again - the fact that Danny is just able to walk away from Terry which means Terry doesn’t mean to Danny what Danny means to Terry.

But the fact that Danny can walk away and is willing to walk away?!

That is what pisses Terry off - even the dialogue - you think you can walk away?! We are way past waving the white flag (aka I won’t give you mercy).

Remember he gave Daniel the option to walk away (although that was on Terry’s terms and he knows Daniel and his stubbornness and knew he wouldn’t so it was a fake gesture really).

He could have killed Daniel but he stops himself - he wants Daniel alive to see the plan to fruition (to continue to play with him - his favourite plaything).

So he walks away. If he stays he may break his toy past repair and he doesn’t want that.

This is why the whole narrative they tried to present in season four (and then never brought up again BTW) of Kreese being his weakness makes no sense.

No, who has time or wants to think of Kreese when he has Daniel to occupy him so completely?!

It is not even Kreese that got him back to CK - he had no problem saying no to Kreese.

It’s Daniel.

Daniel’s name elicits the first sign of life from Terry.

And come on, thirty plus years and the first thing that pops to his mind is the nickname he gave Daniel?

Sidenote - Kreese is a master manipulator - knows what to say and what buttons to press to get the reaction he wants - to get what he wants - so why do you think he even brought up Daniel?!!

It’s Daniel’s rejection that starts the slippery slope into the old Terry - that’s what makes him shed this persona he created - like old skin - and go back to the old Terry and then an even worse version of that Terry.

It’s all traces back to Daniel. Everything.

It’s his marriage he seems intent on breaking - his kid’s he wants wrapped up in CK - it’s Daniel he wants to break - just like before.

Think too about TIG’s comments which kind of reinforces this idea.

The apology was sincere - it’s the rejection / he wants to be loved / he wants to be Daniel’s friend.

It’s Daniel that makes him lose his temper - his control - it is Daniel that causes his downfall - and if that ain’t the definition of a weakness, will I don’t what is.

Going back to the apartment scene:

Terry lost it when Daniel wanted to quit - he lost it because Danny didn’t want to play (with him) anymore.

Remember - TIG said Terry wants to be friends. This was just Daniel rejecting him AGAIN!

But this time it’s worse because before, even though he rejected the apology - he was still meeting Terry in the middle.

He was giving Terry attitude, sass and Terry was loving it (cough cough mini mart and country club scenes cough cough).

By even engaging with Terry, he was still, in a way, bending to Terry’s will because he was playing Terry’s game after all - willingly walking into the wide open traps he was setting - and, most importantly, Terry was having fun.

Daniel throwing in the towel is - him walking away - no longer playing the game - no longer engaging with Terry - no longer bending to his will - no longer being in Terry’s periphery - and Terry hears that threat LOUD AND CLEAR.

Cue the ANGER - the FURY at Daniel. That Daniel could (and would) take that away again. So, he tells Daniel they’re way past that - they’re way past Terry letting Daniel leave him (again).

That’s why it’s unacceptable. Not after Terry had been more alive than he has in years. It was Daniel, after all, that had Terry slipping off the mask - shedding the skin that was this fake Terry he had been presenting to people all those years.

Terry can’t and won’t go back to that.

Might be a hot take, but I’ve always thought that Johnny is Kreese’s weakness, and Daniel is Terry’s. Like, I know some people think Terry’s weakness is Kreese (and to some extent, yes), but Daniel seems to be his absolute obsession, his total undoing. Kreese at least had the best friends/comrades in arms thing, but the Daniel thing is just plain weird from any side. This once 17 year old brat has such a hold on Silver that the man threw away 30+ years of peace at the mere mention of his name. It was never about Cobra Kai. It was always about Daniel.

YES. I completely agree. And as more time has gone by since Season 4 came out, I've noticed even the more casual fans have noticed. Someone took this screenshot from YouTube, but I've seen similar comments on reddit too.

And Kreese, being another master manipulator, knew exactly what he was doing when he brought up Daniel to Terry again in 4x01...

There was literally no reason for Kreese to bring up Daniel LaRusso unless he knew that Terry would care. Why would Terry care. 👀

Kreese knows how to get people to come to him. How to dangle something that they want in front of them that only he can seemingly give.

When no other tactic worked on bringing Terry back into the fold, Kreese brought out the big guns and dropped Daniel's name.

Not to take away at all from the love and friendship that Terry felt towards John. But it became nostalgia and obligation, ultimately ruining their bond.

Little side note-- the fact that we watched Kreese make others do what he says in order to get what they want for three seasons made the prison scene in 5x07 even more satisfying:

AND the first person to play the uno reverse card and use this tactic against Kreese was Daniel. Terry's student. You gotta love it.

There's always been a little Cobra Kai in you...

I mean, we could speak at length about the parallels between Kreese and Terry and their star students Johnny and Daniel. The narrative mirrors and foils. But it's precisely their respective relationships with their students that is more compelling.

Anyway. I'm going to quickly list examples of Daniel's hold on Terry and then focus on the meat of the issue.

Terry falls apart and goes ALL IN on everything Cobra Kai only AFTER Daniel rejects his apology.

Terry gives Daniel multiple warnings to not interfere but never tries to gets rid of him like Johnny or Kreese after no warnings at all.

Terry dated a woman who looked a lot like Daniel with similar values.

Terry treats Kenny near identically to Daniel as a student but in the sincere way he wishes he had with Daniel.

Terry loses his cool when Daniel wants to surrender and walk out of his life.

Terry tells Chozen he considers Daniel his only rival. As in Equal.

I'm sure there's plenty I'm forgetting but you can find posts in the silverusso tag about all these topics and more. x.x

Now, let's get to one of the most important and defining scenes for Terry's arc. And again, it's a direct result of Kreese's manipulation:

Kreese, knowing what makes Terry tick and how to get him further on his side, comments that Daniel really knows how to hold onto a grudge. As if he doesn't. Anyway, it's twisting the knife into Terry again when he's clearly already low.

You don't think Kreese noticed how hurt Terry was at the rejection?

He notices everything. He learned in Vietnam from his Captain how to use love against someone as a perceived weakness. Many thoughts on that.

Anyway

The way in which Kreese says, "So... what now?" Tells me that he told Terry this was going to happen. You also have to remember their conversation leading up to the garden scene:

Terry was damn near close to defending Mr. Miyagi and Daniel over Kreese's own personal grudge. To the point where Terry was rolling his eyes and sighing over his friend being overdramatic about what happened in the past.

He was tired of hearing about it.

I'm sure Daniel told Terry the truth about that Halloween night. And look who Terry seems to side with...

Kreese wanted violent retribution and Terry was the one that talked him down. It was Terry's idea to apologize to Daniel and we'll just allll get along. Easy peasy. Surely, Daniel would forgive him.

But, Daniel proved Kreese right in Terry's eyes. As I'm sure Kreese hoped would happen. Couldn't have worked out better. I bet on the car ride over to Miyagi-Do, Kreese was complaining how this was a waste of time and LaRusso isn't the sweet kid you remember etc.

From that day forward, Terry is determined to prove Daniel wrong. About him, about Cobra Kai, about everything. Terry is going to make Cobra Kai work and help kids and he'll be the best sensei ever and Daniel will be sorry!

You'll be sorry you weren't a part of it!

I firmly believe that Daniel is Terry's true weakness and he didn't even realize it. But Kreese did.

And if Daniel had seen it, then he could've had Terry eating out of the palm of his hand.

The one movie quote they haven't used in the show yet is, "For person with no forgiveness in heart, living even worse punishment than death."

I'm hoping they'll use this with Daniel realizing he can help heal himself, and Terry, by forgiving him. Of course, Terry will have to do something more to redeem himself. I'm just saying.

And then maybe Terry can see that Daniel was his weakness all along, but there's still time to make him a strength.

One could argue that he already felt that way while he was being arrested. The way he was looking at Daniel... That awe. Daniel LaRusso got the best of him, again, all because he couldn't let him go.

Here's to hoping that Season 6 ends our suffering lmao.

I mean, who else has ever given Terry Silver goosebumps?

[inkdemonapologist]

[BatIM Call of Cthulhu Masterpost]

WE STARTED.... A NEW SCENARIO..... as you may have read in Boo’s summary post, for some unknown reason aLL MUSICAL AND PERFORMANCE ABILITY SEEMS TO BE??? GONE??? Sammy woke up, realised he couldn’t hold even the simplest tune in his head, and immediately lost THIRTY-ONE SANITY in one hit

..... YOU KNOW THAT MAKES SENSE HONESTLY

 anyway i have a some out-of-context quotes from the game for u all under the readmore if ur into that kinda thing!!!

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[GM] It's a tough voice to do, so you can't be as choosy, and your resident Bendy cannot act to save his life, so that's no good-- [Joey] Uh-oh. [Jack] Sorry, Lurks. [Joey] I'm just so worried he's going to have to act now... [Jack] Clearly, he should've used the time between scenarios to train that! [GM] Yeah, that's just what everybody wants I'm sure, is the Lurker training in LYING. That sounds like a great idea!

[GM] *asking for dice rolls to see how well our actual jobs are going* We can do a little bit of mundanity to, to treasure, and keep you warm later!

[Henry] Should I spend Luck points on this? No, I'm not spending Luck on work. [Sammy] That's a good general life policy

[Jack] Does Jack have any contacts? [Joey] No, he has glasses! :D [Jack] noooo that's my job! It's my job to make Jack's puns! ....Contacts probably didn't exist in the 1930s, that's okay. [Sammy] No, don't say that! Boo's going to have to look it up now!

[GM] What spell is Joey working on? [Jack] (Spell of Make Investor Like You)

[Joey] I think he probably has filing cabinets specifically to put occult stuff in and lock. And then the rest of his office is just piles and tables of animation stuff that you're like "...shouldn't this??? be??? in the filing cabinet???"

[GM] Allison remarks, "The companions of our childhood always possess a certain power of our minds, which hardly any later friend can obtain." [Sammy] Y'know, normal, just nORMAL CASUAL CHATTER, [GM] Tom, working on the pipe, just kinda mutters, "I enjoy friends, dear not only by habit and association, but from their own merits." And she gives him a look! [Jack] ...love at first whATEVER THIS IS,

[Sammy] ...Sammy's not amused. [GM] The band's amused! [Jack] Jack is probably amused.

[GM] So far things are going very well, but y'know, [Jack] Only so long until we crit fail something! [Sammy] NEVER TOO LATE TO MESS IT UP!

[GM] Allison's vibe is like, I Didn't Study This Exactly, But I Was Hoping It Could Just Work Out! [Jack] ...She has a lot of practice at just... making things work out, huh.... 

[GM] Is there anything else Joey would try to show off? [Joey] Tries to think... what else is at the Studio... [Jack] "Do you wanna talk to our janitor? He's really cool!"

[Joey] I roll to see if Joey can put two brain cells together,

[Jack] I have to appreciate that Bendy said he didn’t have the keys today. He’s been stealing them before, but THIS TIME isn’t his doing!

[Sammy] If there’s anything he needs to do himself, then he’ll come in early, but I don’t know what state we’re in -- [Joey] Uh, New York. [Sammy] ...what? [Joey] You didn’t know what state we’re in. :) [Sammy] [Sammy] thanks

[Joey] Oh Joey’s absolutely coming in early. Joey woke up, and felt great, so he’s going to menace every other department today, because he has the energy to get his fingers into everything! [Sammy] *distressed sounds in the background*

[Sammy] Hey how come when we did a Halloween cartoon, we all went to Haiti, but we’re doing a cartoon about a fair and we’re not going to a fair? [Jack] [Jack] I think we all know why.

*trying to decide who goes to Joey’s fancy dinner with an investor* [Sammy] I don’t know if Sammy will help you... [Sammy] Unless you bring Sammy and put him on a piano, like a small child that needs to be immediately handed crayons.

[Joey] Joey will say that they’re essentially the second hands in each of the departments-- [Jack] Yeah, Abby, the second hand… entire Art Department director, [GM] Uh-huh. [Joey] She… she knows,, [GM] Joey, [Joey] She knows that Joey… is … Big Gay for Henry,,, [GM] This is true, but I think she likes nominal acknowledgement that she holds a position, [Jack] He can just say that they’re high-ranking, and not-- [Joey] No I rolled badly, Joey’s going to say that Sammy and Henry are busy, so he brought his second-best! :) [GM] Abby is massaging her temples. [Joey] Sorry, Abby. He is,, an idiot,,, [GM] I think she’d be a lot more bothered if she couldn’t go and commiserate with Henry about it. Like, “why can’t he keep it straight?” [GM] ……………….well. She knows why he can’t keep it straight.

[GM] It’s about midnight, and something... strange.... happens. The trumpet player, who is leading the band -- [Joey] -- has a trumpet for a head! [GM] what no

*Joey succeeds a sanity check, Jack fails it* [GM] Joey, roll 1d10! [Joey] Uh, 3? [GM] Okay, you’re only down three sanity, that’s not so bad! [GM] Jack, roll 6d10! [Jack] what? [Joey] Six??? SIX d10s????? [GM] Yeah! [Joey] nICE KNOWING YOU, JACK!!! It’s time for Sillytime Jack.

[Jack] Smash cut to Henry, curled up in bed, nice and cozy,

[GM] I will also note, you cannot seem to Fast Talk. [Joey] ...what else can I do? [GM] Just normal talk. Like a normal person.

[Jack] I feel like Jack probably has a hunch that it’s weird nightmarish horror nonsense, on account of he just lost nineteen sanity,

[GM] Abby’s gonna try to take him to the hospital. [Jack] Jack’s just going to let that happen, because he’s shaken enough that he doesn’t have any significantly better ideas! Other than AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,

[Sammy] *rolling sanity damage* 9… 9, stop that…. 4, [Jack] You’ve already lost more than Jack! [Sammy] 2, ...6, and 1! [Joey] That’s 31. [GM] Okay, Sammy has six sanity! [Sammy] eXCUSE ME?????

[Joey] Joey does want to head home… what day is it? [GM] Friday, the 13th! [Jack] HM, [Sammy] I GUESS IT IS, ISN’T IT… I wasn’t keeping track, but I guess it sure is! [GM] A delightful treat for myself, when I was looking up days in July, in 1934, [Sammy] WAIT, NO, ITS ACTUALLY A COINCIDENCE? Oh my gosh, [Jack] Because Friday the 13th wouldn’t even be a spooky day at this point in time! [GM] It is now! [Jack] It’s spooky, but just for us!

[Sammy] Sammy would try to call Jack, he’d try to call Joey, he’d try to call Henry -- probably several times, [Henry] sammy gets jack’s cat [Henry] phone is answered with meows [Jack] That does seem fitting for a really bad luck roll; the phone gets answered, and Sammy’s really relieved -- and it’s just the cat. [Sammy] Sammy, at 6 sanity: “jack’s tuRNED INTO A CAT,”

[Joey] The phone kept on ringing, so the cat just batted it off the cradle, [Jack] I feel like Jack probably doesn’t usually get a significant number of calls, so like, this many calls in a row is just obnoxious! [Jack] Cat’s having none of it. [Jack] Phone ring isn’t breakfast! [Jack] Where is the soft provider of food.

[GM] Oh no, you know what’s going to happen? Henry’s gonna get through to Jack, and then when Sammy calls it’s busy! [Sammy] cALLS JACK IT’S BUSY, CALLS HENRY IT’S BUSY, [Jack] I was gonna say maybe Henry would call Sammy first, because Sammy was one of the original three. [Jack] …Henry calls Sammy, Sammy is busy because SAMMY is trying to call someone, and then Henry calls Jack, and Sammy tries to call Jack again-- [Sammy] *laughing* THE HORROR, The deep, bone-chilling horror of A TIME BEFORE CALL-WAITING!!

[Henry] Is Joey there? [Jack] Yeah. [Henry] Are you guys alright? [Jack] ……………….hm,

[Jack] Cat is just sat on Joey, purring. Something is wrong with the human. Purr to fix the human.

[Henry] I called Sammy to make sure he’s okay, but-- [Abby] Was he? [Henry] No.

[Joey] Joey is going to be… obstinate feels like the wrong word? [Joey] He’s being the cat where you put the leash on, and the cat just sits down. [Joey] That is the Joseph mood right now.

[Sammy] *muttering* First one boyfriend turns into a cat, now the other boyfriend’s voice is wrong, today is terrible,

[Joey] This is Joey’s everything. [Sammy] That’s Joey’s contribution to the party! That’s like, your bard can no longer play music. [Sammy] ……….which is also true, but Sammy contributes other things. [Jack] Like Intimidate! [Sammy] Right now he contributes paranoia!

[fullmetalpotterhead]

Hi, I am back with some more HuaLian thoughts. I was thinking that one of the reasons Hua Cheng fell for Xie Lian is that he CAN'T be like him, as kind and generous as him. And Xie Lian fell for him for the same reason. I mean, Hua Cheng seems like the kind of person who would not interfere in others' business (I might also low key be projecting here) even to help, even if he COULD try to help. The only time we have seen him truly selfless is when he ripped his eye out at Mt. Tonglu. And in Ghost City (that he built) even if he is feared he is also adored and respected (and there's also the fact that he took in Yin Yu, which happened off screen), so that must mean he cares about his city (though we don't see a lot of instances of that). I think all this, too, is part of why Xie Lian fell for him, that they love each other because they CAN'T be like the other (they wouldn't be who they are otherwise).

I think HC does interfere with others though? It’s just kinda on a case by case basis. He calls himself “unpredictable” and says he does it based on his whims, I have a feeling there’s more to it than that but I can’t exactly nail down what. (Readmore because long)

My very vague sense though is HC is full of rage and needs to fight something and so mostly (but not exclusively) he targets based on a criteria I don’t know how to put into words. Because HC does do a lot of killing, for whatever reason he seems to prefer tyrants. We know when the ghosts in Ghost City have an injustice done against them and use extremely questionable means to get revenge HC backs them and protects them from cultivators.

I don’t think HC is evil, I also don’t think he’s good. I think part of tgcf is the fact that it’s not really that simple. HC does evil things. He is decidedly not a “good person”. He also does good things, he’s loyal to a person he fell for for XL’s ability to show him hope and kindness in a world he thought didn’t have any. Which means HC does value goodness.

The problem I think is that HC comes from a place where most of his early life and even post death was filled with reminder after reminder that people can suck. People can be so cruel. HC didn’t like feeling like there wasn’t any good in the world though, no one would, he tried to end his life because he didn’t want to be in a world this shitty anymore. (Especially with a lot of the cursed child feelings likely playing a factor into telling him it’s his fault).

But even if he had decided to save everyone no matter how shitty after meeting XL I think it would’ve broken him? Like we see in XL how hard it is to try to be the hero all the time and how part of XL’s arc is understanding when to ask for help and when to stop trying to force your help on people who don’t want it.

But HC is intense. It would be so emotionally draining to love and care about everything and everyone without limits the way he feels about XL and I know there’s grey areas and levels of caring for others but I think HC honestly doesn’t have the same ability to detach when he cares about something so I think it is easier for him to do good things ‘on a whim’ or ‘because it was funny’ because otherwise it’s an emotional commitment? This isn’t said well but I have a lot of feelings about it.

Also I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with being selfish (I don’t think you were saying it in a bad way but), I don’t think it’s incompatible with being good. There is of course being selfish and being SELFISH. Like there’s a difference between XL sinking under the weight of responsibilities and deciding to go back to heaven selfish and QR running over people in the street selfish. But I think being selfless is often dangerous, so I hesitate to use that as part of the criteria for HC doing good (unless maybe you were just talking about his ability to put himself first being something XL was drawn to because he didn’t have?)

But yeah I think do think HC fell for him because XL was beautiful, it’s what made him stop trying to jump. And then he fell for him when XL showed him goodness and hope and trust and held him and said ‘it’s not your fault’. And then he fell again when he saw after 800 years XL was still XL, sharing his food with a stranger and inviting him home and now HC was able to interact with him as peers in XL’s mind. To chat and laugh with him the way he briefly saw XL interact with FX and MQ before. And to get to know the little eccentricities.

Meanwhile I think XL’s progression went like: interesting friend good company for lonely touch starved god. Oh wow good friend is strong and looks kind of hot when he’s arrogant. Repeated shows of loyalty and devotion, HC proving time and time again he is reliable until he makes a spot for himself in XL’s heart.

I do think XL thinks it’s funny that HC will be openly rude, but I don’t think it’s necessarily why XL loves him or that he couldn’t be like that, they have very compatible senses of humor, XL clearly has those thoughts too he’s just been raised with more manners.

I think it’s less that they can’t be like the other and more that (in addition to genuinely enjoying each other’s company) they both remind each other of something they didn’t believe in anymore? XL is HC’s hope/goodness in the world and HC is XL’s forever/stability

Anyways I have no idea how on topic I stayed for that I went into a haze but thanks for the excuse to rant ❤️

[keingleichgewicht]

WERE YOU KIDDING ABOUT THE ASK GAME if not i dont have any specific lyrics in mind but i always thought the lyrics to the mill were so cool and maybe you could get some thoughts out of them? :0

YEAH GOD OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE MILL. LET’S TALK ABOUT UHHHHHHHHH [THROWS DARTBOARD]

this line. this MIGHT go on for a while so i will............  readmore

so the mill feels kind of notably different to the rest of the pafl songs, which tend to be unusually literal for lyric, either straightforward retellings of events (punch it, punk!) or character piece monologues set to plot visuals (strike 3) or both (all of them, but for instance particularly comfort zone, which is just dmitry’s horrible manifesto until it gets hijacked by a death sentence in the second verse.) the mill is a lot more like what we expect from poetry these days, which is to say it’s heavy on imagery, low on clarity, and fucking confusing!

I’ll draw a circle in the sand, drive myself around the bend in a desperate attempt to hold on to your battered hand Rocked to sleep beneath the snow, she is bathed in youthful glow ‘Strong enough to let it go,’ he says, but darling, I don’t know

a lot of the mill is about circles. this is in the name: a mill is something which turns. a waterwheel is a circle, a grindstone is a circle. it’s even in the melody: the chorus is a cyclic, pentatonic four-note riff that keeps going up and down and up its own ladder, chasing its own tail, not really reaching resolution. and then it’s also in, you know, the story:

the meat grinder!!!! everyone’s favorite fucking hellhole!!!! it is only semi-explicitly identified in the song but that’s because it’s a concept from the source material - both tarkovsky’s stalker and roadside picnic feature the meat-grinder, as a location nicknamed thus by stalkers because it is even more fucking deadly than the rest of the zone, all of which is already ridiculously fucking deadly, and if you’ve seen the movie:

it is more or less instantly recognizable in the mill as well. so here we have a circle! here we have a mill (the title has about seventy double meanings but this is certainly one of them,) and as it turns out, this mill at least will absolutely kill you. and horribly too. interestingly though, in roadside picnic (the book) the meat-grinder is not a tunnel, and it’s not round - it’s just a nondescript patch of ground which will wring you out like a dishcloth and kill you extremely dead if you walk into it. on the other hand what we have in the book in terms of circles is the golden ball, which is the equivalent of the movie’s the room, which is, well,

in short both stories ultimately hinge upon the idea that there is a something in the zone which can give you your heart’s desire. anything you want. everything you want. whatever you want. it is infinitely powerful; it is infinitely capable. the catch is that it will only give you what you want. the catch is that giving you what you want is not the same as giving you what you are asking for. the other catch is that in both cases you have to get through the meat-grinder first.

(so, by the way, what the fuck, right? does pafl’s zone have a wish-granting factory? is it also behind the grinder? where were the original trio going when they got themselves fucked up? and did they get there?)

but the point is: the golden ball, the wish-granting factory, is also a circle. it’s just sort of a sphere. it’s a big round fuckin yellow thing. you know, sorta like:

which is THE ONLY TIME yellow is used in occam’s razor not counting the full-colour shots, and it drives me CRAZY, but it is also me going full conspiracy board so let’s not even worry about it. THE POINT IS.

the circle is the death-machine and the wish-machine. neither of these things are really.... very good. the circle, or at least the arc, is also very closely associated with death:

(розовая дуга предрассветного, ‘rose arc of pre-dawn’. if i’ve fucked up that nominative please feel free to stone me to death!) 

in the gdoc notes to message lost ferry briefly refers to the dawn as if it were a good thing, the dawn of hope, which is a usage that sort of agrees with the desolate and deathless hope of strike 3′s ‘everything will pass / a day will come,’ but on the other hand it really is very closely associated with dying. nikolai bites it; nikita bites it; sergei and olga left significant chunks of themselves behind. and the thing about ‘this too shall pass’ is that it’s always true, as is ‘everything ends’, but of course that’s ‘cause the thing that ends might be you. and as we know

dawn is an ending. so that seems concerning!

i think the circle, the arc, the bolt falling back to the ground, is not a good thing. i am getting a little conspiracy board here in general but forgive me, i cannot make you a wholesome answer, my wit’s diseased. i think the circle is an enclosed space. it’s an unbroken cycle. it’s the grindstone. it’s the mill. it’s about what pafl’s always been about: about being trapped, about having no chances, about being bordered upon. the circle’s the geometric figure of equidistance from a given point, and you can walk on it forever, and nothing will ever change; you will never get closer, you will never get further away, you will never get out! the sun rises, the sun sets, and you are no closer to anything you wanted. it’s worth noting that anya’s borderline city, the zone-edge port town she complains is trying to crush all her dreams, her mill

is a circle. (a cog in a machine! a grind-wheel! a cage!)

and yura, whose dreams have already been burned out of him, who starts the series already resigned to never getting out of here, calls it ‘this dire deja-vu’, i am specifically resisting putting the accent marks back onto that, which is to say, it’s a repetition that haunts him. it’s going round and round and getting nowhere.

so if we bring it back around: drawing a line in the sand, as the phrase is generally used, means setting a border, means saying this far and no further. often it’s yourself you’re setting the border for. you hit some divide you can’t abide crossing so you say this stops here, it may be too early or too late, but i say it stops here. so logically: drawing a circle in the sand means you’ve locked yourself in completely.

I’ll draw a circle in the sand, drive myself around the bend in a desperate attempt to hold your battered hand

the whole first half of this song, i think, is olga promising to grind herself down in a hundred ways if it means she won’t be left alone. how hard can it be to never let it overflow? she may feel lower than the low, she may wish she could just disappear out here, into the postindustrial rust, but though it gets harder all the time she will keep pretending. she isn’t going to burden sergei, or indeed anyone, with her problems, her fears, her scars. she is hurt, but she’s used to it, she’s gotten used to being haunted long ago. she keeps her bad eye covered. she stays within her circle she has drawn. she keeps going round and round. she will take the smallest sliver of human connection and be happy, she promises she will be happy, she promises she won’t ask for more, she will take just the ‘hello.’

but you knooooow it’s not true. you know it’s grinding her down, that she’ll be milled to nothing pretty soon, and really she knows it too.

i am perhaps seventy percent sure that this line is a reference to the windmills of your mind by michel legrande, which features such lines as

Like a tunnel that you follow to a tunnel of its own Down a hollow to a cavern where the sun has never shone Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind

which on one hand seems sort of obscure to be a purposeful reference but on the other hand would be a hell of a coincidence if it wasn’t, wouldn’t it. either way it characterizes circles ambiguously, but definitely unsettlingly. going around in circles is chasing infinity, but what in god’s name would you do with it if you caught it? what are you even hoping to accomplish? and: 

the second half of this song is bitterer, sharper - staring down the mouth of the meat-grinder she’s a little more willing to admit to herself that this is going nowhere. she is running out of cages to keep herself in. she is very tired. it’s easy to say why don’t you leave it all behind, it’s easy to say, she’s strong enough to let it go, it’s easy to say, too strong to die. it is a lot harder to actually live.

this is also where the flashbacks admit to us how badly hurt they really were - sergei with his whole side in shreds, she still hides her eye but at least we get to see it’s bleeding. this moral compass is forever misaligned, she says, so there is damage, and it is lasting. and she can’t settle for hello, she can’t live like this, she needs someone by her side. the trouble is whether she can believe she has any hope of getting that

as for who ‘her’ is, or the ‘she’ of ‘she is bathed in youthful glow’, i figure there’s two possibilities: either it’s nadya, who haunts olga too, because nikita’s abandonment of nadya represents exactly what she most fears for herself, or it’s olga’s younger, unbroken, binocular self - both of whom were so young, and so easily hurt, and are now unfindable.

and then there’s this conclusion: ‘the sun will rise, until then / i’ll be waiting for you on the other side.’ which maybe is a sort of hope after all? she’s reached no real conclusions in the zone - she knows there must be hope but she can only barely believe in it - she thinks she is destined to self-destruct. but on the other hand she still has that, a version of sergei’s own ‘a day will come’

you may be hurt, but if you can hold yourself together, you can hope for a dawn someday. an ending. a change. but the trouble’s that there’s more than one kind of ending. and there’s more than one meaning for other side. there are cages, and then there are cages. and you know what else looks like a tunnel, a circle?

staring down the barrel of the gun.

[osomagine-san]

Soooo, what would be the best way to befriend the mastus and Totoko? Where would be easy to meet and know them?

Ooooooh okay okay. Again, sorry, no readmore because I’m on mobile!!

The best way to meet Osomatsu is probably at a bar, or maybe even Chibita’s stand. He’s a little tipsy, but that just means he’s in a good mood! You’d also have to catch him by himself, because he’s really at his worst around his brothers. He might try to flirt a bit, but he’s really all about having a good time— and it’s not that hard to change the topic of conversation. I think that, if everything goes perfectly, he forgets that he was trying to flirt with you at all!

Getting to know him would probably be easiest on walks around the park. He doesn’t have money, so he probably doesn’t like to go out properly (except to pachinko, but honestly, that seems like a really boring place to go with a group of people; and as for the horse races, that’s hardly a good place to sit and talk with someone). He’s happy to walk laps around the park just talking, until all of a sudden the sun has set and you should both head home. ☆

As for Karamatsu, you might find him at the local fishing spot! You might only be able to talk to him after whoever is with him leaves (even for a second), because as long as someone is with him, they’re likely making fun of him. Your first meeting is probably not that long, but you think he’s joking around with his cool persona and hit it off.

He’s not a hard person to get to know, because he’s pretty aware of how he’s treated. He acknowledges that he doesn’t like it, but that he’d still do anything for his brothers. When you respond with, “You don’t need to put up with that,” he quiets. And smiles. And he seems like a different, quieter person. Honestly, I see Karamatsu as one of the quietest (second, or maybe even tied, with Ichimatsu) of the six— getting to know him probably involves a lot of silent communication and reading between the lines. ☆

To make friends with Choromatsu, you have to catch him when he is in no perceived position of power. Meaning, maybe he’s out with Osomatsu, or maybe he just failed a job interview (is that something you fail?)— he’s a bit entitled, so meeting him when he knows he’s not his best actually helps with this first impression. I don’t know the details of where, necessarily, but I think it might have to almost be in passing. Maybe he gets your contact information from someone else?

Letting him be vulnerable and honest is the best way to get to know him. He’s always talking about getting a job and becoming “proper” and living a life, but he already knows the reason that hasn’t happened is because he doesn’t want it to. When you’re getting to know him, you have to prompt him to be honest about what he wants— not just in life in general, but right in that moment. And you have to offer a similar honesty in return. ☆

There is a quick and easy way to meet Ichimatsu, and it’s by volunteering at the local animal shelter or by working at a cat cafe or something of the like. Anywhere there are cats, he will be there. He’s really not friendly, so I can’t imagine a particularly good first impression with him no matter what, but watching him engage with the cats assures you that he’s not a bad person.

The way to get close to him is through something he likes. You’d probably have to get to know him through things he mumbles to the cats when he thinks you can’t hear him, and then use that information, later. For example, “Mm... Mom peeled pears for me yesterday... you wouldn’t know how good that is, because you’re just a cat.” And then when he comes by the next day, you just so happened to have packed peeled pears for your lunch... and you just so happen to be on your lunch break. You’re willing to share! And, like a cat, if you come on too strong, that will put him off. After these little gestures, you have to let him come to you. Once he feels comfortable enough, seemingly out of the blue, he’ll say, “Hey... I know this place... If your shift ends soon, you could come with me.” ☆

Meeting Jyushimatsu is not the hard part. He frequents parks, and the cliffs, and pretty much anywhere he can swing a baseball bat. He’s similar to Ichimatsu in that you have to let him go to you, but for a different reason— there is no way you’re on his level. Trying to chat with him on your terms will be fruitless, so he has to chat with you on his. This is a little different if he’s around his brothers, but for the most part, meeting any sextuplet while around the others is challenging.

It’s surprising how good he is in public, though— so getting to know him probably takes place in a public area. Almost always outside, but still somewhere there are a lot of people in the background. While getting to know him, it’s good to have someone to translate his nonsense; bringing a more laid-back sextuplet along could help with this! ☆

Finding Todomatsu is easy. Getting to a place where he wants to keep talking to you is hard. But meeting him at a mixer is probably your best bet. It’s obvious right away that he’s not interested in meeting friends at these things— but picture that scene in Aggretsuko with Retsuko and Resasuke where they happen upon each other at a mixer, and then spend the whole night texting while the others grow louder. I think that’s how your first meeting would have to go— he’s striking out entirely, and you happen to not be very involved in the discussion, either.

I think that he’s a very honest texter. I think that he can’t say out loud what he thinks and feels— he’s not thinking about it at the time, or he just can’t find the words in the moment. So getting to know him probably comes in late nights in the comforts of your respective homes; he tells you about his hopes and dreams. And when he’s just comfortable enough, he listens to yours. ☆

Honestly, I think a great place to meet Totoko would be at one of her concerts! I haven’t seen all of S3, so to the best of my knowledge, she still really isn’t all that popular. So the area is nearly empty, save the sextuplets. Then she sees that there’s a new face in the crowd! After the show, she starts asking all kinds of questions, fishing for compliments (hahaha I didn’t do that on purpose, but it’s still kinda funny).

She probably sees you as just a fan for a really long time, assuming you keep going to her concerts. But she always notices you in the crowd and waves hello. She approaches you all the time after concerts, asking for a detailed review— and not the spineless ass kissery the sextuplets usually offer! I mean, don’t get me wrong— she doesn’t want to hear any bad things, but when she isn’t being drooled over, it’s a little bit easier to slide in an objective opinion. Before long, she seeks you out before concerts. And then she invites you out after concerts. And then you’re just hanging out, as friends! ☆

[shinonometrash]

💕🍄The 12 Days of Ayumu 🍄💕

JULY 17TH!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYUMU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AYUMU ���💕😭💕😭💕 Doing all this translating has done nothing except make me miss him even more 😭 But!!! Today is the big day!! And so we have the thing I’ve been saving for last!!!! The absolutely cutest Ayumu story I think I’ve ever read !!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I wanted to cry when I read it it was so sweet I love him so much sdfgnkjkjnfg

I was a lot more creative with translating this story to make it sound more fun and natural, since I’m finally getting comfortable enough to start doing that, I really hope you guys enjoy it !!

it’s pretty long, so I’m putting it under a readmore

Ayumu Shinonome: Happy Birthday ♡

technically this story is about Ayumu celebrating our birthday, rather than about celebrating his, but...

In the S ward is one of the most popular downtown areas in Tokyo.

2PM —

Middle schooler: Hey, look at that guy over there

Middle schooler 2: Oh my gosh, yeah!

Middle schooler: He’s a host, don’t you think?

Middle schooler 2: He’s definitely a host!

(…No, you’re wrong.)

(I’m just wearing a formal suit.)

Middle schooler: Eek…this is the first time I’ve seen a host in real life!

Middle schooler 2: I guess that’s the norm around here, we are in Tokyo after all!

Thanks to the middle school students who seem to be in the middle of a field trip, I now see the passersby struggling to contain their laughter.

(This couldn’t get any worse. Ugh, this sucks.)

(Really. I was already reluctant enough to do this as is…)

Speaking of which—

MC: Ayumuuuu~!

At last, the reason for all of this torture has arrived.

MC: Sorry! Did I keep you waitin-…

MC: !!!

(Uh…is she okay?)

MC: Ayumu, you…you look…so hot…

MC: Ahh, you look amazing!!

Ayumu: Dummy!! Keep your voice down!

(If she says something like that too loudly…)

Middle schooler: Oh no, look! He’s got a customer…

Middle schooler 2: She must be a huge regular…

Ayumu: …gah, come on, let’s go.

MC: Huh? Already?

MC: I haven’t changed into my pumps yet…

Ayumu: It’s fine, come on! Hurry up!

MC: Ahh, hold up! I came all this way so at least let me put my arm around yours…

MC: Gahh, slow down! You’re walking way too fast!

MC: Ayuumuuuuuu!

This all started about two weeks ago.

MC: Ayumu! Look! This is what I was talking about!

Ayumu: Eh…? Scary…

Fresh out of the bath, my girlfriend suddenly plops down on the ground.

Ayumu: …What

Ayumu: Don’t tell me you broke my limited edition Tyrannosaurus mug…

MC: No, no, that’s not it!

MC: It has to do with this year’s KappaMC Birthday Celebration!

Ayumu: Gross

Ayumu: You’re creating your own birthday celebration…?

MC: It’s a great idea, isn’t it!

MC: I see this kind of thing a lot on social media!

Ayumu: Even so, you’re not supposed to post that about yourself

Ayumu: That sort of tag is made by enthusiastic fans…

MC: Well then, I’ll ask you to do it, Ayumu! Since you should be my biggest fan!

MC: Pleaaase do it with me~?

MC: Take me on a date in a formal suit please!

Nonsense, I thought. At the time.

However, at a later date…

Toru: Ahh~ This seems to be real popular these days! Suit men

Ayumu: …what?

Toru: If you search anywhere on social media sites, you’ll get tons of hits~

Toru: Guys uploading selfies in suits

…I don’t get it.

What’s so fun about showing off a suit?

(Although, she did say something the other day about wanting to go on a date with me in a formal suit..)

Ayumu: Frivolous. Completely.

Toru: Noo, you just need to choose the right place to go!

Toru: Shall the Great Toru offer you some guidance~?

Ayumu: No thanks. There’s no way that’s ever happening…

Toru: Hm, well I don’t know what kind of person your partner is, but—

Toru: Sometimes it’s important to spice things up a bit so that you don’t fall into a rut!

Ayumu: …

Toru: Again, I really have noo idea who your partner is buuuut

Toru: I think women who like that sort of thing would be really happy~

Ayumu: …

(…bah. He’s probably right.)

(She does seem like she’d like that sort of thing…)

That’s why I decided to title it “The Extraordinary Production”

I end up regretting this as soon as we start stage one—meeting up downtown.

(Ah, well, at least I won’t feel as out of place at the next stage.)

Yes, and the next stage is—

MC: Look! Look! Ayumu! The view outside is sooooooo pretty!!

Ayumu: Ah, I see.

(Naturally. We are on the 38th floor.)

By the way, the seats here are filled almost full.

Of them, about half are reservations.

MC: Whoaaa, did you see?? This afternoon tea set!!

MC: The tea stand! It has five tiers! Five!!

Ayumu: Ah, I see.

MC: Hey, at least act more surprised!

MC: Fives tiers? This is the first time, for me at least, that I’ve ever seen anything like this!

(…yeah, I suppose it would be)

I say this because—

Toru: How’s this place look?

Toru: “Enjoy some luxury afternoon tea on the top floor of a high rise tower”

Toru: Whoa, the tea stand, it’s got five tiers!

Ayumu: Ah, I see.

Toru: Ugh, what kind of response was that!

Toru: Are you even listening?? The tea stand has five tears!!

Toru: Isn’t that alone pretty much a win right there?

Ayumu: I don’t get it.

Toru: In a date, it’s either a win or a loss…

Soma: But doesn’t it seem likely that it would make his date happy?

Ayumu: !

Soma: Women who are particular about food will also care about how many tiers of sweets there are, will they not?

Soma: Glutto-no, women who eat everything with enthusiasm,

Soma: I think they would be very pleased with a five tiered tea stand.

Ayumu: Haa…

MC: What should I do?? My heart is beating so fast, I’m so excited…

MC: I don’t think I’ll be able to eat all five tiers…

Ayumu: If it’s you, you’ll be fine.

Ayumu: …since you’re a glutton.

MC: Huh? What did you just say right now…?

Ayumu: Nothing, don’t worry about it.

Seeing the waiter passing by, I raise my hand to get their attention.

Waiter: Did you decide what you would like to order?

Ayumu: The afternoon tea set for two people, please.

Ayumu: The original black tea blend.

Waiter: Understood, thank you.

As soon as the waiter walks away, I purposely sigh dramatically.

Ayumu: So noisy

MC: Wha-…I didn’t even sa-

Ayumu: Your stare

Ayumu: It feels like you’re trying to stare into my soul or something since a while ago.

MC: …hey, b-but that….

MC: I mean! I can’t help it…

MC: You just look way too amazing today, it’s like my eyes are being sucked in…

Ayumu: …

(…what is she even saying, this girl)

Ayumu: This isn’t the first time you’ve seen me like this though, is it? In a suit?

MC: That’s true, but…today is special…

MC: You wore the suit for me, didn’t you?

MC: That automatically makes you look, like, 30% hotter!

MC: I’m just so happy, I can’t stop looking at you

Ayumu: ….I see.

There was a strange pause before I replied.

Probably because I was remembering the advice that Toru gave me.

Toru:  You definitely need to be sure to always compliment your date’s outfit~

Ayumu: …wha?

Toru: Well, if you’re wearing a formal suit

Toru: Then your date should also be in formal wear, right?

Ayumu: that…well…

Toru: And so, you need to be sure to give your date lots of compliments!

Toru: Cause girls always put several times more effort into things like their makeup and hairstyle!

Ayumu: No, no, she doesn’t have me beat there

Ayumu: If we’re talking hairstyle, it’s definitely me…

Toru:  Bah, well, saying things like “that looks great on you” or “you look pretty” is always a safe bet

Toru: And then…

Ayumu: You don’t—

MC: “I don’t”?

—“you don’t look too bad yourself, either”

That’s it. All I have to do is use what she said as an opportunity to compliment her back.

(So, come on. Say it.)

(Just light and natural.)

(Sound genuine about it…)

Ayumu: You don’t—

MC: Ah!!

Suddenly, my girlfriend jumps out of her chair as if remembering something.

MC: Sorry, is it okay if I go to the restroom for real quick?

MC:  It’s…my shoes, I’m still wearing my sneakers

Ayumu: …

MC: No, I know already, you don’t have to tell me

MC: “You should’ve just worn your pumps from the beginning”

MC: That’s what you were about to say, right?

MC: But these shoes don’t quite fit right…

MC: “It’ll be fine if just change into them right before I meet up with Ayumu”…is what I had told myself

Ayumu: …

MC: I’ll just change into them real quick!!

Ayumu: …

(…This sucks.)

I just let a perfect chance that I’ll probably never see again slip by.

(No, it’s fine though.)

(It’s not like I absolutely HAVE to give her a compliment.)

That was just Toru’s opinion.

She didn’t specifically ask me to do it, or anything.

And so, from there, while I’m with my girl…

MC: Ahh, that was so delicious!

MC: The cake and the scones and the tea, they were all the best! Ayumu: …

MC: Oh, and the clotted cream too!

MC: It was the first time I’ve ever had it but it went surprisingly well with the scones~

MC: I wonder if they sell it at that other shop…

(…this is it.)

Her head is probably full of the afternoon tea we just had.

I want to make her happy…more than anything.

(But it’s impossible to compliment her when things are like this.)

I’ll just start by making a statement about what she’s wearing, but it’ll have a compliment at the end.

“I noticed your dress has lace on top of the turquoise fabric. It’s not bad.

“Those pumps must not be comfortable to wear. But they go nicely with the dress.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you wear this much makeup. It looks nice.”

(I’m psyching myself up too much, aren’t I?)

I guess it just goes to show how much I’ve been looking forward to this day, though.

MC: So where are we going next?

Ayumu: Anywhere is fine, as long as it only takes about an hour.

MC: Hm? What does that mean?

Ayumu: This.

I pull two tickets out of the breast pocket of my suit.

MC: Whaa…the opera??

Ayumu: It’s in about an hour from now. So we can’t go unless we go at that time.

(The idea wasn’t mine, though.)

Yes, this idea…

Toru: Hmm, what other places would be good to wear a formal suit to…

Toru: What about a luxury brand store?

Ayumu: Huh?

Toru: If you wear a businesswear vs a formal suit to a shop, the staff will treat you differently, right?

Toru: Because they’ll be acting even more polite to you

Toru: There’s no doubt that your date will feel like a celebrity!

Toru: Right, Goto?

Goto: Don’t touch me, I’m not responding to that.

Toru: And after you can take her to a fancy restaurant inside a hotel or a bar with a gorgeous night view!

Toru: Sure it might be a little cliche sounding, but it’ll certainly be something out of the ordinary that you won’t forget!

Toru: Hey, Gotooo!

Goto: Look, even if you touch me, I’m still not going to respo-

???: Aww, aren’t you guys sweet

Toru: …huh?

Tsugaru: Don’t you know this is the perfect time to go watch the opera?

Ayumu: ..……good afternoon. How long have you been there?

Tsugaru: Now that hardly matters, does it?

Tsugaru: More importantly, if you’re going to put all that effort into a date, you should go to the opera.

Tsugaru: It’s like a date specifically meant for formal wear, is it not~?

Tsugaru: Hmmm, but…

Tsugaru: It’s possible the person you’re planning to take on a date doesn’t understand the opera, though.

Ayumu: …I should first confirm whether that’s true or not, though

Ayumu: Hey, have you ever watched the opera?

MC: Uhhhh, that’s…

MC: Well, I’ve seen Phantom of the Opera…

Ayumu: That’s not the same thing

Ayumu: That’s just a musical.

MC: …well of course I know that much!

MC: So, this is a first

MC: It’ll be my “first time”!

Ayumu: Wait…do you hear that—

MC: I want my first time to be with you, Ayumu!

MC: So please, take my opera virginity—!

???: Ahhh!!

A sudden scream drowns out her playful chattering.

Woman: A purse snatcher…!!

Woman: Somebody, please! My bag!

(Seriously? A purse snatcher?)

Before I get a chance to confirm, she jumps into action.

She starts chasing the purse snatcher.

(Dummy! What is she doing??)

Purse snatcher: Damn it…!

The criminal escapes to the back alley at the end of the road. Of course, my girl isn’t the type to give up so easily.

MC: Stop right there!

While she chases after the purse snatcher, I enter the next alley. 

If the criminal turns the corner here, I’m pretty sure I can cut him off.

Sure enough—

(…he came.)

MC: Ayumu!

Purse snatcher: Shit…!

I’m in front of the criminal, blocking his path, while she’s at his back. He turns around and rushes at her.

Purse snatcher: Move it!

MC: Just who do you think you are!!

Her next move is quite something. As the criminal charges at her, she swiftly grabs his right hand, twisting it behind his back and shoving him to the ground, planting her body weight on his back.

Purse snatcher: Ouch! Ow ow ow!

From there, we hand over the criminal to the authorities and all live happily ever after—

Or not.

MC: The interrogation took longer than I expected…

Ayumu: Yeah, it did

MC: But if we leave now we should be able to just barely make it in time…

???: Oh my gosh, look at her

I hear a whisper from a woman passing by.

Woman: Yikes, look at her, did she get into a fight?

Woman 2: Maybe she fell? There’s a hole in her stockings

The innocent exchange seems to have reached her ears.

MC: Oh…

There’s no denying that she looks beat up right now.

Her dress is dirty and the knees of her stockings have holes in them. 

(Of course.)

(She had to straddle the criminal on the ground to secure him.)

However, her stockings aren’t the only thing that tore.

MC: I-I’m sorry, I’lll go change them right away…

Ayumu: The lace

MC: Huh?

Ayumu: The lace part on your dress, too

MC: !

Ayumu: Did it get caught on something? Like a nail?

Ayumu: When you were chasing after the purse snatcher

MC: …ah, yeah…

Seems I probably guessed right.

MC: I’m so sorry, I’ll go change into a new outfit…

MC: Ah…but, the time…

Ayumu: …

MC: Please just wait a second…I’ll figure it out someway or another…

MC: To change…I’ll just, I’ll go buy some new clothes…

Ayumu: It’s fine, the way it is now

Strangely, the words seem to just flow out of my mouth on their own accord

Ayumu: You don’t look bad

MC: Uhh…?

Ayumu: It doesn’t look bad, does it? How you look right now

It’s still the outfit she put so much effort into, just a bit worn out now.

Either way, it’s still very ‘KappaMC’-like.

(Really, it’s not bad.)

I run my hands through her messy hair to smooth it out.

She looks up at me, confused.

MC: Um…Ayumu…?

Ayumu: Let’s go

MC: Wait, I can’t go to the opera looking like this…

Ayumu: We’re not. Going to the opera, that is.

MC: What! No! Don’t say that!

MC: You already bought the tickets and everything…

Ayumu: Don’t worry about it, really, it’s okay.

Just a slight change in schedule.

Truthfully, I had planned on bringing her ‘here’ after the opera, anyway.

(Ah, but this timing actually isn’t bad at all, it works out well.)

Ayumu: Aren’t you coming?

MC: But…I look like a mess…

Ayumu: You look fine, don’t worry about it

Ayumu: I rented out the place

MC: Rented out??

MC: Here??

Startled, she looks around at the surroundings.

(Ah, well, it makes sense. Reacting that way.)

If I was in her position,  I’d probably react the same way,

Ayumu: Your hand.

MC: Sorry?

Ayumu: Your left hand. Give it to me.

MC: Oh, um, alright…

I grabbed her nervously outstretched hand and led her to middle of the stairs.

(Finally.)

Now we just need to stand here for five more seconds.

Honestly, this is the most nerve wracking part of the whole day.

(But, well, it’s her birthday.)

(And it’s special.)

Ayumu: 3…2…1…

At the exact moment I point, balloons float up into the sky.

MC: Balloons??!

She watches as the balloons float upwards, eyes wide in surprise.

I use her distraction as an opportunity to pick up the bouquet I had hidden.

Ayumu: Happy birthday

Her mouth falls open wide in shock.

Yeah. It really isn’t like me to do this sort of thing.

But, the one who thought of this surprise, make no mistake, was me. I came up with it.

(This is a once in a year occasion, after all.)

(And I thought she would like it, if I did this.)

Ayumu: So? What do you think?

MC: … Ayumu: MC?

No reply.

(Uhh, what’s the status here?)

(Maybe I messed up…)

MC: A-a…yu…

(Ah-yoo…?)

MC: A-yu-muuuuu…!!

(Whoa wait just a-)

Ayumu: Oof

Sniffling, she throws her arms around me.

MC: I-I…j-just…nnnf, I’m…I’m so, nnnnff, so happy…I, nnnf, love it…s..so much..!!

MC: T-th…! This…surprise, nnnf, it…it’s…!!!

Ayumu: …

MC: P-plea…zz…please sta…stay with, nnnf, with me…fore…forever, nnnf…!!

Ayumu: …dummy.

Ayumu: I can’t understand what you’re saying.

That’s a lie. 

Truthfully, I understand perfectly what she’s saying.

(“Stay with me.”)

I’ll stay with you, for the rest of our lives.

In return, don’t ever let go of me.

I did something today that I never would’ve even dreamed of doing before, all because you’ve changed me.

Ayumu: Happy birthday

MC: T-thank you…

Ayumu: So, what shall we do from here?

First, I have a room for us to stay at.

But after we check in, we can spend our time however we’d like until dinner time. 

(Ah, no, but before that we need to change.)

(As you’d imagine, going to the restaurant looking like this would be…)

MC: …iss…

Ayumu: Hm?

MC: Kiss…I want to kiss you…

MC: From here on…with you, forever…

Ayumu: …

Ayumu: …dummy

I was asking about later today, but…

Is she asking for a kiss with a runny nose and a tear soaked face?

There’s a lot of things I want to say to that, but—

(Ah, well, it’s her birthday…)

Her lips taste salty, as expected.

But…I don’t hate it. Maybe I’ve gone crazy too.

MC: Thank you…

As we pulled away from the kiss she sniffled loudly.

MC: I, um, I feel like I’m dreaming…

MC: My head feels all fuzzy…

Ah, I see.

MC: I’m gonna…just you wait…!

MC: Next time it’s your birthday, I’m gonna think of an amazing surprise…!

Ayumu: No need to.

I have nothing but a bad feeling about that.

Ayumu: Seriously, don’t. Hard pass.

MC: …hmph, meanie!

MC: If this is how you feel, now I’m DEFINITELY going to plan something!!!

MC: Like making dinosaur balloons, or dinosaur 3D pancakes, or…

MC: Maybe I’ll rent out a whole museum…

MC: Mmph, mmm…

It’s really not necessary. Coming up with some sort of surprise.

(If you’re here with me.)

As long as you stay here next to me—

If we can kiss like this, then that’s enough for me.

-The End-

Isn’t that CG gorgeous??? And wasn’t that story soooo frickin adorable??? sbkhgkjadbf I have so many feelings about this 😭💕😭💕

And thank you so so so so sooo much to @world-a-to-z​!! Like I’d mentioned at the start, I was never part of the Peach fanclub because I only started reading Ayumu’s stories almost exactly a year ago now. And so, I didn’t have access to this story. So what did this absolutely wonderful person do?? Transcribe this entire story in Japanese!!!! And then was kind enough to send it to me, along with the screenshots of the backgrounds (which were pretty necessary for all the scene changes, I think) and the CG, so that I could translate it. So please give her a HUGE HUGE thank you for making basically almost the entirety of this birthday celebration possible!!! 💕💕💕

Thank you guys so much for celebrating with me! I hope everyone had a lot of fun!!! I can’t wait to actually sleep again now...I spent sooo much time doing all these translations whoops ><

In case you missed a day, or want to reread anything, you’ll find links to all the posted content here!

[its-monster-mash]

Paul(The Lost Boys) X Michael’s Ex!Fem!Reader Imagine(Part 1)

Content Warnings: Vaguely Love-Triangley? (Reader and Michael are still good friends and broke up a while before Mike moved, but things are a little awkward because they were each other’s first serious relationship; so he’s more protective than he needs to be, and there might be a few hurt feelings, but I wouldn’t quite call it a love triangle), Brief Sexual Harassment

Part 2

This turned out SUPER long so I’m putting it under a readmore; also I think I’m going to make it a series because I want to go a lot further with this but I suspect I’m going to run out of space soon

• Michael Emerson had been your best friend since you were kids, growing up in Phoenix only a ten minute walk from eachother...if you knew the right shortcuts. You knew all of them, thought you knew everything when you were younger, and you got yourself and Mike into a fair amount of trouble because of it...but he had always been a good kid, and was able to temper your more destructive elements.

• It surprised exactly no one when the two of you eventually started dating, nor did it surprise them when you broke up a few years later. You had always been inseparable, and the love had always been there, but over time you just couldn’t help but feel stifled. You had spent your entire teen years with him, and so many people liked to joke that Mike tamed you...at the rate you were going it seemed like sundresses, picket fences, and a couple of kids weren’t far off in your future...and that scared you.

• Mike was heartbroken when you left him, and for the first few weeks he absolutely held it against you, but due to your shared friends and history your friendship survived. Unfortunately, his parents’ divorce separated your iconic duo once again.

• When Mike’s dad showed up on your doorstep a few days after the move, you tore him a new one for basically abandoning his sons. He set a box on your porch, Mike’s Tools...his Grandpa gave them to him when he was just a little kid and they were one of his most treasured possessions...they were forgotten in the chaos of the move...His dad thought you might visit him sometime...

• That’s what led to you hopping in your shitass El Camino and making the drive to Santa Carla. Lucy had given you their new address before they left...you knew she hoped that maybe you and Mike would get back together some day, but that just wasn’t in the cards. At the end of the day he was just too good, too normal, for you.

• Driving through Santa Carla, you can’t help but be drawn to the sheer...strangeness of it all. Looking at the people, you feel like you actually fit in here. You definitely plan on hanging around the town for a while.

• Mike isn’t home when you get to his Grandpa’s house, but his mom could not be happier to see you. It’s a bittersweet reunion for you; she had been more of a mother to you growing up than your own parents, but after breaking her son’s heart you just don’t feel like it‘s right for you to call her “Mom” like you used to. She has a million questions, and she even suggests you stay with them for a while...you politely decline.

• You didn’t tell her that sleeping in your beat-up old car was preferable to her hospitality, but it would just be too weird, with how recent your breakup was. You and Mike are still friends, but you think sleeping under the same roof might be weird for him

• You still want to see him though, so you decide to explore the town on foot for a while; maybe run into him. You’re wandering around when you hear a familiar voice coming from the open door of a comic book store.

• As soon as you walk in you see the unmistakably garish patterns of Sammy Emerson’s signature style and break into a wide smile. “Long time no see, huh kid?” Almost the second he sees you he practically knocks you over with a hug, backing away in embarrassment after a second of thought. You and Mike were already best friends by the time he was born, so Sam was almost as much your little brother as he is Mike’s.

• “Now What was that about Vampires?” You had overheard Sam and the Frog brothers when you walked into the store...Sam rolls his eyes, and the Frogs assail you with some insane story about how the town is overrun with vampires. Some imaginations these kids have.

• You bail out of there pretty quick in favor of wandering the boardwalk, seeing what Santa Carla had to offer...before you know it, the sun is starting to set

• Maybe going out alone in “The Murder Capital of The World” wasn’t your smartest decision, but you weren’t exactly known for your self preservation; that had always been Mike’s job...but he isn’t here now.

• You grimace as you notice a group of surfers take notice of you. You had wandered a bit aways from the main crowd, so you aren’t sure anyone would notice if things went south... “Hey Sweetie.”

• “Get Bent.” You sneer as they close in on you. “Awe well that’s not very polite,” the leader says, giving your ass a firm squeeze. “You should try being a little nicer.”

• You humor him with the sweetest smile you can muster as you stomp as hard as you can on his foot. He calls you a bitch and you flinch as his fist flies toward you.

• You open your eyes when the hit never comes, and are shocked to see that someone had caught the guy’s fist. You look up at him and your cheeks flush; when was the last time you saw a guy this handsome? “This guy bothering you, babe?” He asks as he squeezes the guy’s fist so tight you hear something pop. The guy falls to his knees and gasps in pain as his friends back away nervously. You smile wickedly. “Not anymore.”

• You watch the douchbags storm away with their wounded pride, shouting empty threats, only distracted when your Knight in Shining Tight-Pants tucks your hair affectionately behind your ear. “So what’s a pretty thing like you doing alone in a town like this?”

• You bite your lip, eyeing him appreciatively; now that you could get a good look at him you can tell he is definitely your type...and you hadn’t been with anyone since you broke things off with Michael. “Hoping to run into an old friend, but I haven’t seen him.”

• He grins, clearly appreciating your look. “That’s too bad, wanna make some new friends?” His eyes are fixed on you with a certain hunger, there’s a palpable danger to him; it excites you.

• You shift your stance flirtatiously, leaning into him ever so slightly. “That depends, are they all as cute as you?” He pokes his tongue into his cheek with an amused grin. “Almost.”

• He takes your mischievous smirk as agreement, and throws an arm around you, leading you back to where his friends are gathered by their bikes. “This the chick you ditched us for?” The curly-headed blond asks, humor in his tone.

• “Well I for one am grateful for the timely rescue.” You grin. “How grateful?” The blond on the bike asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively; making you laugh. Your hero slaps at him playfully, and the favor is returned.

• Seemingly the leader of the group, the spiky-headed blond interrupts the roughhousing. “Paul, Marko, knock it off and let’s go.”

• Paul nods, climbing onto his bike and grinning at you seductively. “You wanna go for a ride, babe?”

• His smile is infectious, and his innuendo isn’t lost on you. Maybe it’s not your safest decision, but you climb on the back of his bike; earning a loud “HELL YES.” From him, and hooting and hollering from Marko.

• “Make sure you hold on tight babe, I’m about to take you on a ride you’ll never forget.” “Shut up and drive,” you tease as you wrap your arms tightly around his midsection.

• They all laugh deviously as they rev their motors to life, and you’re glad you’re holding on tight, nearly falling off when they take off from 0 to 100. “HOLY SHIT!” “What’s the matter sweetheart, can’t handle a little speed?”

• “That all you got?!” You ask, acting tough. It was a mistake though. “That all you got, Paul?” Marko asks, mocking you. “I dunno girl, I think that’s all he’s got.” The big brunette says, first time he’s spoken since you met the boys. “Fuck off, Dwayne!” Paul shouts. The leader gives his engine a rev, egging Paul on. You scream, forced to cling tightly to his back as his bike tears into the night. Marko pulls up next to you, mimicking you with a falsetto squeal.

• “Damn babe, already screaming for me,” Paul teases over the roar of his motor. You’d sass him back if you weren’t too busy burying your face in his back for dear life. You’d ridden on the back of Mike’s bike plenty of times before, but he was never this reckless. You’re as terrified as you are thrilled.

• By the time you start to get used to the speed, the boys are slowing down, and much to your surprise, they pull right up to Michael, who is standing with a girl you haven’t met. His eyes snap to you instantly and go wide with confusion, he hadn’t even been aware you’d come to town. “(Y/N)?”

• “This that friend you were looking for?” Paul asks. “Yeah, (Y/N), care to introduce us to Star’s new friend?” “David please.” You watch the exchange a bit uncomfortably, shifting on the bike, arms still around Paul. “Yeah...Hey Mike, I uh, your old man dropped your tools off at my place so I took them up to your mom.” Your chest feels impossibly tight. You aren’t jealous to see him with a new girl, but you had hoped that maybe he’d be a little happier to see you here...and him, the earring and that jacket...it doesn’t feel like Mike at all. Paul can feel you shrink against him.

• “Hope I’m not stepping on any toes here,” Paul says, giving your thigh an unsubtle squeeze; deliberately antagonizing Michael. You smile a bit awkwardly as Mike scratches the back of his head in discomfort. Star looks between the two of you, avoiding eye contact with David. “No, Mike and I used to date but...” “But it’s over,” Mike says, a bit too shortly, trying to cover the awkwardness with an unconvincing smile.

• David shoots him a not-all together-friendly look. “Well, you seem to be moving on well enough,” he says, gesturing to Star, who shrinks beside him. “So’s (Y/N),” Paul interjects, looking over his shoulder to smile at you. You smile back at him, despite the awkwardness.

• “We should go, Star,” David urges. Star hesitates, but climbs on the back of his bike. Michael looks mortified, and you can’t help but feel awful for him. You’re shocked when David nods his head toward Mike’s bike. “Come with us, Michael.”

• You know the look on Mike’s face; his first instinct is to back out, avoid trouble...but then he looks at you, and he looks at Star; like he’s worried what will happen to you if he doesn’t come along. “Mike,” You don’t have to come, you start to say, feeling Paul tense in your arms. “I’m coming.”

• “This is gonna be so sick,” Marko says with a practically manic grin, before Dwayne swats him upside the head. “Don’t be an ass.”

• “Don’t forget, (Y/N), hold on tight,” Paul says, side eyeing Michael a little less than subtly. Mike rolls his eyes and you shrug apologetically. This is awkward, for sure, but one way or another you want to see this through. Paul and the boys seem cool as hell, and at the very least seem like a good way to get back on the horse after getting over a long relationship.

• You squeeze Paul a little tighter, heart pounding against his back. He revs his engine. “You ready, babe?”

[mmikmmik2]

If you were to sort the Infinity Train cast(s) into the Major Arcana a la the Persona games, which Arcana would you give everyone?

anon I had SOOOOO much fun thinking about this, thank you so much for sending me this. I sorted all the major characters, plus a few other entries, based on a mix of Arcana symbolism, Persona series character archetypes, and general vibes. I came up with answers I feel pretty good about for all but four of the Arcana. (Was really tempted to say Strength is every human character who doesn't board the train because they can handle their problems on their own lol.) This is going to be a long-winded post, so I thought I’d post just the list as an image (which hopefully won’t be too blurry!) rather than wrestle with Tumblr formatting trying to make a short list, and put a big text wall under the readmore talking more about my picks.

If this list does end up illegible, the same info is under the readmore as text! Plus some characters for Magician, Strength, Justice, and Death that I didn’t want to add to the “official” list because they’re more based on headcanon. (Although my reasoning for some of the “official” picks is pretty weak lol.)

One-One as 0. The Fool

Oh my gosh, what am I?

IT is great at fleshing out character backstories and families, so One-One at the beginning of S1 is one of the few characters who really feels like a blank slate. He's got a lot of his baggage back by the end of the season, and I think One and One-One are more similar than they seem at first glance, but S1 does seem to have been very formative for One-One and how he thinks about what he's supposed to be doing and how he relates to other people. So it does kind of feel like his fool's journey.

Alrick Timmens as I. The Magician

The magician begins the journey... by beefing it on a dirt bike, dying, and sending his wife flying off the deep end. Rip.

Alrick was an engineer like Amelia, so I could see him suiting some of the themes of the Magician, like conscious thought and manifesting ideas. His apparent playfulness and insecurity are similar to the Magician characters in Persona.

Kez as II. The High Priestess

“We can’t make this decision for you, Kez.” “You know what to do.”

I thought really hard about making Kez the Magician because just like every Magician since Persona 3, she's dumb, horny, and insecure dlkjasfdkl

(and also her showing up at the start of the story arc and being helpful but also super needy is very Magician)

But the idea of "intuition" really does suit Kez. Sometimes her intuition is as bad as her conscious reasoning, but I think that's a lot because she's so confused about what happened with Jeremy, and Morgan making Kez feel like she did a bad thing by helping him.

Tuba as III. The Empress

She made me feel like I was warm all the time.

Tuba's a mom. Sorry, this one's not that deep, haha.

Simon Laurent as IV. The Emperor

Highest number! I'm the leader now.

Simon has a lot of issues, but the one that felt the most prominent to me was his unhealthy relationship with power, authority, dominance, and rules. Another quote I considered using here was what he said in Grace's memory of meeting Amelia: "I never thought I'd get to see the Conductor with my own eyes. He's perfect! Everything finally makes sense again." In his emotional crisis, he thought everything could be fixed just by the existence of a huge, scary, powerful, male authority figure, even if they weren't doing anything helpful or informative.

Atticus as V. The Hierophant

I like to think that our stones are sturdy and handsome, like the Corgis that crafted them.

Atticus is a figure of traditional authority who deeply loves the history, society, and culture of his people. He often provides spiritual wisdom and encourages Tulip to get out of her own head and engage with the world around her. Also in Persona, Hiero is the Dad Arcana so it's very funny to me (a) to make the little dog be Hiero and (b) that the little dog really does have the strongest Wholesome Dad Energy of the whole cast.

Jesse Cosay as VI. The Lovers

Don't tell me what to do. I'm not going to be a part of anything like this, on or off the train.

This was my first and easiest pick lol, Jesse is sooooo Lovers. Like, the focus on choice and personal values and relationships? Yep, that's Jesse. It works on an "actual meaning of the Arcana" level and a "vibes with the Persona characters" level lol... popular, upbeat, and having such an identity crisis.

Lake as VII. The Chariot

I'm my own person, who is getting off this train!

I don't know if Chariot captures all the ways Lake grew over the course of S2, but I feel like they had the most externally focused conflict of all the IT characters, which suits Chariot. They've been fighting to stake out their personhood from start to finish, and they took action and used their willpower to achieve that goal. Also they have at least a little jock energy which is a prereq for Chariot tbh.

Frank as VIII. Strength

I dunno, I kinda imagine him as a simple man and easily underestimated, but with a lot of heart. The Cat may say they're keeping things casual but I don't think she'd take him with her on her private vacation unless he had some kind of inner toughness that would let him stand toe-to-toe with her.

Morgan as IX. The Hermit

I need to be alone right now. Kez... maybe... we can talk later.

I like that Morgan embodies toxic self-isolation and stonewalling and rejection, but that she seems to be moving towards the positive aspects of Hermit and taking some time to calm down and process and think. I like it when characters can embody the best and worst of their Arcana.

Tulip Olsen as X. The Wheel of Fortune

We have to adapt to the changes in our lives. It's the only way things can get better.

Tulip has a lot of themes and conflicts, but this one is a clear standout as the most important. I also like it for Tulip because, while she has to handle a lot of difficult and even traumatic situations, some of the change that challenges her isn't as unambiguously bad as e.g. the death of a loved one. It really is just change itself she's struggling with, and that's Fortune babey. Also, from the perspective of the train itself and lots of other characters, by reversing Amelia and One-One's positions again and changing how One-One administrates the train, Tulip is the one giving the wheel a spin. That's fun.

Lucy as XI. Justice

One of my friends once described the Justice characters in Persona as "the ones the player character is ultimately accountable towards", and I like to think of Lucy as kind of being that for Grace (...since Hazel has excused herself). Lucy is the Apex kid we see Grace interact with the most, the first Apex kid Grace admitted to herself that she had harmed (see Grace very briefly showing distress and then regret when Jesse points the harpoons at his face and she stops him), and the first person to confront Grace when she came home in The New Apex.

Min-Gi Park as XII. The Hanged Man

I don't know if we'll sell a single album, but we'll figure that out as we go.

Min-Gi sacrifices his "realistic", "sensible" goals for a more personally (spiritually, even?) enriching life that's beyond his control and outside of the expected norm. Like the Hanged Man, who dangles foolishly upside-down, but as a deliberate choice and in a state of serenity and enlightenment. I also think this arcana suits a reading of Min-Gi's character development as starting off going slower as a way to stall and live in denial, but then going slower with deliberation. Compare his arrogant insistence on refusing to act in The Astro Queue Car to his patience and care in The Castle Car and The Train to Nowhere.

Jeremy as XIII. Death

This isn't about the death of his family - I'm thinking of his reluctance to admit his number was going down. He cared about Morgan and Kez, and it's possible both that he may have really wanted to stay with them despite his exit and that that might even have been a healthy choice - they're real ass people with feelings and everything, not holodeck characters. But I also think Jeremy was using his life with them to avoid moving on out of that fog (because it was hard and it hurt and he didn't want to think about what that would mean for him and Morgan) and Morgan was enabling him.

Ryan Akagi as XIV. Temperance

Maybe the experience is the point. I wasn't just rushing you. I was rushing myself.

I think this one speaks for itself. Also, the other quote I considered putting here, from The Art Gallery Car: "You told me I can't appreciate the song without taking in the rest of the album. I need the whole package."

The Cat as XV. The Devil

I always do the right thing.

Honestly, this is one I really wasn't sure about. The Cat isn't a great pick for a lot of the meanings of Devil. She is definitely consumed by material comforts, and the short-term rewards of ignoring her issues at a long-term cost, though. This is more of a "vibes with Persona characters with this arcana" pick... Devil characters tend to start off being somewhat exploitative or even antagonistic towards the player character, and gradually showing a more conflicted and genuine side.

Amelia Hughes as XVI. The Tower

There's a hole in the universe where Alrick used to be.

Amelia's life is defined by catastrophe and upheaval - both those she's suffered and those she's inflicted on others.

Hazel as XVII. The Star

I'm going to keep loving you like you're still here.

When I think of "The Star" as a small but inextinguishable light in the darkness, Hazel seems like the obvious choice. Although we left her deeply wounded, I think she still has a flicker of her hope, faith, and purpose.

Grace Monroe as XVIII. The Moon

But it's unfair for me to tell you how to understand yourself. I mean, I don't even fully understand me.

Grace is probably the most complex and dynamic character on the show and hence one of the most difficult to place. I considered Empress, Strength, Devil, and Judgement for her... I think ultimately, lies and illusions are the most unifying theme of her character arc. Also, from a Persona angle, her pursuit of status out of a lack of true self-worth reminds me of Ai and Mishima.

Alan Dracula as XIX. The Sun

Brought together by the majesty of a superpowered deer!

I'm sorry dkjasfklads this is largely because I thought it was funny to have this completely inexpressive dead-eyed deer as Sun akfk but also... like... it kind of works okay!!! Think about the genuine joy and comfort and positivity he brings to Lake and Jesse (and me)!

The New Apex as XX. Judgement

"Then what are we gonna be?" "Guess we'll have to figure it out?"

This is kind of a Persona mythology gag again because of Judgement being a group social link near the end of the narratives of P3 and P4, when the protagonists have pierced through the lies and actually figured out who the villain of their game is and are ready to really start making progress.

0 as XI. The World

Ah, train does it again!

It's an ending and the completion of a journey, but also the beginning of a new one. And the world is literally what the passengers receive at the end of their train journey. Welcome home.

[syndianites]

A Queen Serve and Protects

Chapter Six

First Chapter –> Last Chapter –> Current –> Next Chapter TBA! Summary:

Post-Style Queen, Pre-Queen Wasp.

Chloe finds the Bee Miraculous, but instead of finding an obliging, subservient Kwami, she finds the Kwami of Order and Subjugation, and Pollen is not about to let herself be used like Nooroo was.

Granted, the only danger in a teenage girl is the damage she poses to herself. Can Pollen shape Chloe into a hero? Or will she stubbornly refuse to change and remain the bitter, harsh person the city has long since known?

[My take on how Chloe’s character could have developed] ——————————————————————————————

Pollen tapped the tablet pen on the table. School had ended and the duo was officially home.

“Chloe,” Pollen began. “It has come to my attention that you don’t do your own work.”

“So?” Chloe nonchalantly replied, crossing one leg over the other from where she sat on the chaise in front of Pollen.

Pollen tried not to roll her eyes. “So, I want you to learn how to be self-sufficient.”

Chloe scoffed. “I am plenty self-sufficient.”

“Really?” Pollen had a sweet smile on her face. “Then prove it.”

:readmore:

Before Chloe could make any remark, Polle flew over to her school bag. It looked more like a purse, honestly, with how much makeup and accessories she had stashed away inside. Seriously, what did you need an extra pair of heels for?

Pollen shook off the thought and grabbed the binder Chloe used for class, as well as her homework folder. Brining both items back to the table, she flipped the folder open. She pulled out the first sheet of homework she saw- something math related- and waved a paw at it.

Chloe gave her a dumbfounded look. “You want me to do that? Sabrina normally does.”

Pollen raised an eyebrow.

“Ugh, fine, I get it.” Chloe grumbled. “What does doing my own work have to do with being self-sufficient anyway?”

“When was the last time you did your own school work.”

“Ughhhh!”

Letting out a little giggle, Pollen decided to make a compromise, “For every question you get correct, I’ll let you ask a question about the Bee miraculous and its powers. However!” Pollen held a paw up before Chloe could get too excited, “For each you get wrong, you have to listen to some history and background on the miraculous.”

“Ooo-kay? How is that a loss for me? I still get to know what I want to know,” Chloe replied.

If only the poor girl knew.

Pollen beamed. “I’m glad you asked! You know how much you love our ‘Bee Nice’ Sessions?”

Chloe groaned.

“Anything I tell you will come along with lessons. I will tell you tales that are important for a number of reasons. And you have to sit through all of them!”

Chloe’s eye twitched. That sounded excruciating. Buuuut, she did want to know more about what powers the Bee miraculous could give her. It was just a simple math worksheet. Surely, it couldn’t be that hard. So Chloe took out a blank sheet of paper and began working.

She was wrong. So, so wrong. Chloe was by no means a bad student. She got solid B’s and pleased her daddy enough with her grades to get by. Did she need to have a study session with Sabrina before each test or quiz to get the contents down? Yes.

But that was all pish-posh. She figured if she could pick up enough for a test or quiz a day before it, she could do homework with no problem. Apparently, she hadn’t been giving Sabrina enough credit. That girl made it so much easier than this.

It didn’t help that her notes were a total disaster. Half-finished sentences, unclear instructions, and a clear lack of interest in each page. For a moment Chloe cursed her own apathy. She wanted to know more, damnit! 

By the time she finished she felt exhausted. Pollen, ever chipper, hummed as she looked through each question. She procured a pen and started making marks. That was a lot of red. Oh GOD, there was so much red.

Pollen tapped the pen to her chin in thought. Giving a nod, she wrote a score at the top of her sheet.

6/15. 

That was just under half! And that meant she would have failed had it been a test. Chloe resisted the urge to hit her head on the table. She could not afford to be forced into tutoring. Again.

Despite Chloe’s despair, Pollen was excited. This was better than she was expecting! Sure, she had been hoping for closer to a 75% or 80%, but Chloe at least had the idea down.

Plus this meant she could drill some more lessons into her charge.

Rubbing her paws together, she addressed Chloe. “Alright. Since it is almost an even split, let’s go back and forth with questions and history. I’ll start with a history lesson first, since you missed more than you got correct. But since I’m feeling nice, I’ll give you a choice here: Would you rather hear some history about my previous holders first, or about all the miraculous as a whole?”

“Your past wielders, of course! I need to know who would be so lucky to use the same miraculous as moi.” Chloe flipped her hair back to accentuate her point.

Pollen huffed. Nonetheless, she thought back to her past holders, humming all the while. Who would be the best to start with to help Chloe learn? 

She smiled as someone came to mind. “Now, before we start, I should say that we aren’t always deployed to battle some great evil. Sometimes, we are let out into the world to help inspire something. For me, I either inspire Order and Control. Or, when that gets to be too much, I inspire freedom from Order and Control.”

“Wait,” Chloe interrupted. “Why would you go against your whole Order thing?”

“I thought you wanted to talk about past wielders first,” Pollen brought a paw up to her lips to hide a smile. “To get into that would mean I would have to talk about all the miraculous.”

“Ugh, fine, whatever. Tell me the basics about all the miraculous first. But! You better tell me about your past users after!” Chloe conceded, pouting at the little god.

Pollen started again. “Like I said, we don’t always need a great evil to fight. At their core, each miraculous is meant to balance out their respective aspects. Tikki- Ladybug’s kwami- is the kwami of Light and Creation, for example. She is largely put out into the world to inspire new ideas and innovation.”

Chloe scrunched her nose in confusion. “Didn’t you say you also get put out to stop Order and Control? Why would you ever want to stop Light and Creation?”

“Well,” Pollen looked off to the side. “You can’t endlessly create. Tikki works on a more individual scale. She inspires Light and Creation in people as individuals. I, however, inspire Order and Subj- Control in a much larger scheme. After all, a bee’s focus is on the hive, isn’t it?”

“In any case, sometimes people burn themselves out when creating too much or spreading too much light. If you give and give and give, what is left for you? Nothing. And those left with nothing often crumble and fall apart- or worse. Tikki, when she is needed to, can either help her holder ease off themselves or help their holder teach others to let go of such demanding responsibility.”

Chloe nodded slowly. That… sort of made sense. “So it’s like when Adr- a friend of mine kept being happy and smiling even after his mother died to help others stop being sad. Because he wanted others to feel ‘lighter’” She made finger quotes, “Despite the tragedy that happened?”

“Yes, that could be a good example,” Pollen agreed. “If your friend gave away all his light and such to others, it could burn him out and leave him feeling empty and cold. Though, in this case I would lean more into the Peacock- he worked to give good emotion to others to cover their grief. But we’ll get there in a moment.”

“Plagg, Chat Noir’s kwami, is Tikki’s counterpart. He is the kwami of Dark and Destruction.” Pollen stopped as Chloe seemed to ponder that.

“If he is all about dark and destruction, wouldn’t that make him more likely to be evil?” Chloe mused.

Pollen, for her part, wasn’t bothered by the question. “If I am all about order and control, wouldn’t I be more likely to use and abuse people?”

Chloe bit her lip, but shook her head no.

“Exactly. Just because that is what we represent it does not mean we are prone to be good or evil. In the balance of all things, there IS no good and evil. Really, it just comes down to what a certain group likes or dislikes, or how a person’s morals are aligned.”

“Okay, no, Hawkmoth is totally evil. There is no doubt about that. How could taking control of others and using their emotions to turn them into monsters be seen as a good thing?” Chloe didn’t like the idea of Hawkmoth being in the ‘right’ at all. It went against everything he had done to Paris.

“Well,” Polled offered, “Does Hawkmoth see himself as evil?”

Chloe sat back in her seat. If movies were anything to go by, he probably didn’t. She sighed and motioned Pollen to continue

Pollen pushed on. “In any case, Plagg is often put into the world to ruin things. Surprising, isn’t it? But sometimes the best things are made in the ashes of destruction. Growing from losing things is important for many people. Like how your friend lost his mom- he likely felt sad and lost. But if he grew from that? He could learn to see that others will have his back and he can lean on them. Even in the hard times.”

Chloe looked away from Pollen. She was right, sort of. When Adrien’s mom died, Chloe had been there trying her best to cheer him up. Did it really work? No. But she helped him escape the house and run around the city with her, and watch stupid cartoons and shows, and sometimes, just sometimes, get him to smile.

“But losing your mom isn’t a good thing!” Chloe snapped back. “That devastated my friend and his family.”

“I know, and I’m sorry I painted it as such. Loss is a horrible thing to endure. But I wanted to make a connection to something you mentioned.” Pollen bowed her head. “Destruction is rarely a happy thing. But, a more positive example would be something more metaphorical- the destruction of insecurities, or breaking a bad relationship, or- or bashing down a wall so you can open up a room to have more space!”

Sighing, Pollen shook her head. “It is far too easy to see Dark and Destruction as a bad thing. Darkness can be used to hide when you don’t feel safe. Or it can be used to tone down how bright something is when you feel blinded. It can also be used as a complement and give things more depth.”

“Of course, Plagg has also been put out to tame destruction. Have you ever heard the phrase ‘fighting fire with fire’? It’s the idea that you fight destruction with destruction. But he can also help people see their bad habits, or the things that hurt them, and get them to reign them in and stop themselves before it’s too late.”

“Okay, sure, that makes sense. But didn’t you just describe Tikki and Plagg as opposites anyway? Light and Dark, Creation and Destruction? Why do they need to get people to go against their aspect when the other IS the opposite?” Chloe butt in.

Pollen brightened. “That’s technically later in this lesson, but I can touch on it now. You’ve likely noticed that Ladybug and Chat Noir came together as a pair, correct?” At Chloe’s nod, she continued. “That is because they are like Yin and Yang- opposites that complete each other. While other kwamis do have opposites, none quite work the same as Tikki and Plagg. They were once a single being- one that was the kwami of Balance.”

“Well,” Pollen rubbed her cheek, “They weren’t a kwami, per se. But that is too much to explain for right now. You recall how Hawkmoth’s goal is to get the Ladybug and Black Cat miraculous?”

“Of course, that’s all he ever talks about when he akumatizes someone!”

“Well, that’s because when you combine the two into one you can have any wish granted.”

“What!” Chloe slammed her hands down on the coffee table, startling Pollen. “That’s horrible! I mean, the power is cool, but if Hawkmoth got his grubby hands on that wish who knows what he would wish for!” 

“Exactly! But there’s a catch with that- whatever you wish for will have an equal and opposite consequence. If you wished for someone to come back to life? Someone else must die. If you want to have all the power in the world? Everyone else must become powerless. These may sound simple, but the gravity is just as dire as the wish would be grand.”

Chloe fell back. “So, if I- well, if I wished for my mom to love me..?”

“It depends,” Pollen shrugged. “Maybe everyone else around you would hate you. Maybe your father would stop loving you. Or, in a more subtle fashion, she wouldn’t love the real you, just a facsimile of you. Whoever she thinks you are. Sure, there are ways to make a wish that has a mostly positive outcome- for the one making the wish- but the consequence will always hurt someone. Even if it has to be a lot of someones.”

The two fell into silence after that declaration. It was a heavy thought. What could drive someone to want to change something so badly they would be willing to suffer or let others suffer for it? How cold hearted must you be? 

The whole thing baffled Chloe. She could just ring her father and have what she wanted with no consequence. Could she imagine doing something so drastic as to ruin someone’s life to make hers better?

Instead of voicing any of this, Chloe leaned forward. “So tell me about the other miraculous…”

[chongoblog]

Zero Time Dilemma Review/Ramble

Okay, so if you’ve been following me, you know that I’ve gotten into the Zero Escape series, famous for 999 and Virtue’s Last Reward, streaming both games. I recently took the time to experience the last game, Zero Time Dilemma by watching cutscenes rather than playing it proper mostly because A) I heard it was REALLY dark and didnt want to risk it on Twitch and B) I wanted to experience it more freely like while I’m at work.

After experiencing it. I have......feelings about it. And because there’s MASSIVE spoilers involved, I’m making it its own post under the ReadMore below.

tl;dr LOADS of bullshit, flawed execution, and stupid decisions, but still REALLY enjoyed it

Okay so a LOT of this is going to be complaining, and like I said in the tl;dr I still legit enjoyed this game, so I’m gonna make this a compliment sandwich by saying something nice now, loading up on complaints, then ending with more compliments. Carlos is good. So is Sean. Sigma being voiced by Matthew Mercer actually makes him more interesting imo. I REALLY like Phi’s new design and the way they build on the initial concepts brought up in VLR more accurately portray the ideas that started all the way back in 999, that being the idea of taking thoughts across timelines, just like the player. From the beginning, the theme/gimmick was always “what if your character remembered information when you savescummed?” In 999 that began as flashes of information, and in VLR the characters’ consciousness actually time traveled at the very end. ZTD now uses the idea of the consciousness traveling across time and space and RUNS with it. I also think that Delta has a cool design.

I’ll be nice again later, but now for the things I Did Not Like.

Emo Moody Junpei makes sense from a writing standpoint, but that doesn’t mean I have to like him. Maybe I just got spoiled since Evan Wilson did a spectacular job with his deliveries in 999 and in ZTD it seems like his soul got sucked out. Not the fault of the delivery as much as it is the writing. Eric is bad, and I feel like that statement isn’t controversial. I don’t think anyone likes Eric, and if you do, then sorry for shitting on him so much, but god I just don’t like him. And the abusive childhood thing doesn’t give me a drop of sympathy, but then again I’ve always hated the writing trick that “this person is shitty and pathetic but it’s because abuse!” (see also Mikan). Diane is boring (sorry).

But I fuuuuuckin HATE Mira. I hate Mira so much. Like, at first I thought she’d be alright, yeah she’s definitely The Boob Character™, but I liked Lotus well enough and Alice grew on me significantly, so I don’t see why Mira won’t. Then she’s like “surprise I’m a serial killer”. Now if they just made her a serial killer, it would be kinda boring so I’m glad they TRIED something new. I just think the result was bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad. Like....”hmm I never felt any emotions so when my mom told me they were kept in hearts I just ripped em out of people :)” is some garbage I’d write in middle school when I felt especially edgy. Also yeah seems p ableist. I won’t go too deeper into Mira, since she’s a sociopath and I don’t know enough about the actual disorder to put a candle to the real thing, but....bleh.

I won’t touch on THIS aspect for too long because I’m aware that it had barely any budget and it wouldn’t have happened without a kickstarter (don’t know the details), but the animation is just....so stiff. It really takes away from the dramatic impact some scenes are meant to have. But even IF the animation wasn’t stiff, I still am not a big fan of the darker and moodier direction it went. Although that’s moreso down to personal preference. Final note about the presentation (which is by far the game’s weakest aspect) is that I noticed multiple points in the sound mixing got to nearly Sonic Adventure 2 levels of being unable to understand what people were saying.

Alright. Now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Let’s talk about Delta. This is going to make up a MAJORITY of this post so strap in.

Delta is a meme. There’s no other way to say it briefly. He’s just such a huge fucking meme. Almost everything about him, from his plan to his “complex” motives to his backstory to his powers. I mentioned liking his design, but fuck it. That’s a meme now too. Delta is the stupidest part of the game, and as much as I kind of love it, I also need to complain about it.

First let’s talk about Delta’s plan (because it starts with the nicest part of this segment). His motives are “complex” which is actually greek for “he’s probably either a liar, an idiot, or both”. I said there was nice things, so I’ll start with those. The very ending’s “ah ah ah. I never killed any of you in this timeline. If you arrested someone for crimes of another history, there would be criminals everywhere” was something I actually legitimately enjoyed. Yeah, intent was still there and he’s still a bastard (plus there was kidnapping and non-consensual drugging involved so kind of a stupid take), but I still thought it was a fun attempt. And also the “I had to make sure I was born” thing is a mindfuck, and I love those. Basically the first retort is “well I’m alive, right? So I don’t need to make sure I was born with powers because I WAS born with powers, which means it happened in another universe. So I don’t have to.” Only to then realize that we’re just in the universe where he DID do that but then the only justification is “someone had to” right? Wrong. Let’s talk about the rest of his “complex” motives

So I give a pass to “I had to make sure I was born”, but now we see why he had to do this whole deal and what he declares at the end of the game. That there’s some religious fanatic who intends to blow up the world and completely end humanity. And he released Radical-6 in the VLR timeline hoping that it would kill the terroris only killing 4 billion people instead of 6 billion people. In the timeline at the end of ZTD, he says that they had used this experience to hone the skills of the Shifters that way they could use their newly honed take down the religious fanatic WITHOUT Radical-6 and save the world.

What?

Now......before I tear into this.....I have ONE nice thing to say. The “unleash radical 6 and kill 4 billion vs let a terrorist end humanity” gambit IS cleverly foreshadowed with the radical 6 decision game with Q Team. But also wouldn’t that have made, like 1800 times more narrative sense to give that decision game to team D who KNOWS the impact of radical 6, or team C who he explains this plan to later on? Damn, even my nice thing was backhanded. Alright let’s REALLY tear into it.

FIRST of all, this is the exact same plot of Virtue’s Last Reward. Only difference is that somehow Akane and Junpei are just as skilled at this technique as Sigma and Phi despite the latter going to do Moon Training (granted the moon training was also to give them enough of a jump to go back 45 years). Speaking of Virtue’s Last Reward, this game also reveals that Delta is Brother, the leader of Free the Soul. A group of religious fanatics. So I wouldn’t be especially shocked if the religious fanatic is working with Free the Soul. But for the sake of this argument, let’s just say they aren’t with FtS. How in the Flavor-Blasted FUCK does he know this? Did somebody Shift back from that timeline and then just get Mind hacked (and we’ll fUCKING talk about Mind Hacking dont you worry)? How would that be the only piece of information known about the end of the god damn world? And if there IS more, then why the fuck wouldn’t you tell them the information? How does he know that it’s inevitable when apparently a god damn snail can unleash Radical-6?

I call bullshit on the “religious fanatic” thing. Wanna know why? Because at this point, Delta had already founded Free The Soul. He started this shit in 1938. At this point in time, he and the rest of the Free the Soul had already kidnapped Alice’s dad to create clones of his dead brother. He was pushing for a new world order and then in the VLR timeline, tried to PREVENT this whole thing from happening by sending Dio to the Moon. So if he actually gave a shit about “honing their abilities” then why would he do everything in his power to stop it? There is ONE out that there can be, but it’s something not even HINTED at (and I’ll talk about this later), but I think that "religious fanatic” is a big ol’ lie that he made up to try and save face when he was faced with a consequence, but even that explanation makes no sense since he’s like “lol shoot me if u wanna I wont mind hack you”

And let’s talk about mind hacking. Let’s fucking talk about Mind Hacking. Adding Mind Hacking was stupid, completely pointless, out of left field, and actively makes Delta a worse character. For those that don’t know, Mind Hacking is an ability that only Delta has (and I guess the player character technically but that’s a whole meta thing from VLR that doesn’t get followed up on) where you can read people’s minds and also fuckin control them. Why? Why was this necessary, ZTD? You wanna know what I thought was really neat? When I saw that different timelines produced different X-Codes. I thought “oh shit, I know this is Game Stuff, but the sheer foresight of the villain to do that? That’s some Moriarty shit.” It would require some insane explanations, but we’ve had enough sci-fi that we could imagine with enough advanced tech, you could set up systems that could use conditionals to give certain responses based on certain outcomes. Like if someone dies after the decontamination room button is pressed, then the central computer outputs a different X-Code than if it’s after the initial vote. Just make up a new tech that accounts for Shifting (plus the QUANTUM COMPUTER you have RIGHT THERE) and you could make a villain with so much calculated foresight that he’s just a god damn genius. But no. Mind hacking. None of that interesting stuff, just “lol I read ur mind idiot”. No outwitting anyone, just “lol get mindhacked eric u scrub bang bang”.

Honest to god, honest to FUCKING god, do you want to know how cool the final cutscene would have made Delta look if he walked out and just KNEW what happened in another timeline because of his plans. Like everyone recognizes him as Delta and he just goes “ohoho I see you had a fun time in my other timeline” using that deduction alone. But nah, he’s just like “yo I just mindhacked y’all, nice experience y’all had” I hate mind hacking so much. There’s no part of his plan where he NEEDED to mind hack in order to succeed that could have been written without mind hacking.

Now there’s a bit of a missed opportunity here that could both make mind hacking relevant, made his motive not shit, and also maybe even developed him into a SUPER interesting character! I know this is a bit fanfic-y, but hear me out. Make Delta a VICTIM of the stable time loop/bootstrap paradox. For those who don’t know, the bootstrap paradox is when time travel makes certain events happen seemingly out of thin air since they are their own cause. Basically it’s this clip from Milo Murphy. This is something that seems like it’s KINDA there in the subtext, but if they actually dove into it, they could have a GOLD mine.

What if we keep the mindhacking, and before he even MAKES Free the Soul, he mindhacks someone who experienced the events of the “religious fanatic”. But not just anyone. An experienced SHIFTer who made it their goal to stop this religious fanatic. After hundreds of attempts, they still fail. Delta sees this and determines it to be inevitable. So he’s having fun, cursed by the knowledge of an inevitable apocalypse. Then he meets Akane, Phi, Sigma, or Junpei after they had undergone the events of VLR and ZTD. He learns that particular timeline. A bleak future, yes, but one single future where humanity is alive. He sees two futures, one in which all of humanity dies, and one where he is the leader of a religious cult that wipes out 4 Billion People with a deadly pandemic. And the idea of being that person disgusts him. He despises it. But he’s completely resigned to fate. He knows that things must go precisely as he’s seen at the price of humanity, too frightened by such a burden to even take a toe off of the predetermined pathway. His motive is that he’s so tightly bound to fate and so afraid to let it slip that he has no choice but to commit the atrocities, despising himself for it every step of the way, but considering it better than the inevitable alternative. It would give a purpose for the mindhacking powers, it would give him a solid motive, and it would make the ending SO much stronger, showing the contrast between a group of SHIFTers confident that they can change fate and the man who is completely resigned to his own. Fuck, I might steal this character concept because I REALLY think this idea would work to make an interesting villain!

Like I mentioned, this is KINDA there in subtext (with him quite frequently saying “life truly is unfair”) and this could be an interpretation of the character, but if ZTD had explored that theme, then holy hell what an interesting character Delta would be.

But even WITH this fix, holy hell, this plan is stupid. Because guess what, dingus. You just created like 30 new timelines that all end in annihilation.

He coulda said ONE line about “even if there is only one history that ends nicely, that is solace enough”, that might have been dark, but still powerful. You know, add some depth. But instead, he’s just like “hmm hmm shoot me”

And the Q Twist? I’m honestly not as mad at it as I should be. On one hand, it does that cute thing where there are little bits of foreshadowing so when you rewatch it, you notice little bits like shadows and stuff, but on the other hand, there are PLENTY of points where either the camera just straight up lies to you and doesn’t show him when he should be there or Delta’s just been fuckin SHMOOVIN on his wheelchair around the room constantly to stay out of the camera and everyone’s just been kinda chill with it. Maybe if they had been more careful with the camera it could have delivered a TOUCH better. Like, even if the shots are a bit off, that’s noticeable enough to be part of the hint, no? I don’t have as much to say about this, mostly because this post is getting long as fuck so I’m gonna wrap it up so I can move on with my life for a bit.

So even with ALL OF THAT, I still enjoyed playing the game. That’s right, compliment sandwich time. The three wards all being one ward was a really neat reveal. The fact that you can shoot Delta in one scene is creative with its replay value. I’m glad they touched on the philosophical idea of what happens to the people who made it out from the coin flip only to get SHIFTed into the exploding lab, and exploring that idea was fun. I absolutely lost my mind at the idea of the gun to sigmas head had a random chance of firing and then seeing it elaborated on in the dice scene directly after it. Gab is a good boy.

Cant wait to play AI

[textsfromninjagoblog]

🏮DotD debts part 1: Abandoned RPs🏮

Now this could get long so going to try to make a read more cut, hope it works!

:readmore:

First debt to settle here is probably the longest overdue and the one I feel most guilty about: the never finished “Slumber Party of the Departed” RP.

I’d like to both thank @purplerose244 , @brieflyshypuppy , @thatoneninjagosideblog , @geode-masterofcrystal , @letheboo , @ninjago12345 and apologize.

I was in my last year of high school when I was trying to run it, and not in a very good place stress wise, which combined with other life factors led to the abandonment. However, you guys are all awesome and don’t deserve to have put so much fun and work into my madness only to not find out how it would’ve ended, so here’s how it would’ve went!

Once we vanquished Chen, Kasia would have been in danger of being possessed by Morro. It would’ve turned into a giant game of keep-away around the house as we guarded her, with our choices depicting weather or not the possession would’ve happened, and if Geode would have turned into a ghost. However, no matter what, it would’ve been a ticking time bomb for the Preeminent to show up and I would’ve flooded the house with Nya’s full potential.

At this point, people would’ve been fighting off more of their character’s personality kinda seeping in, which sets the stage for the very angsty Skybound Round 2 in the now heavily damaged house.

I had planned on doing something involving a vengeful Delara as Nadakhan himself isn’t dead, but nonetheless the fight against fate would’ve ended the same as og skybound, me in a wedding dress (which for the sake of the story was going to be a cosplay I was forced into by the ghosts at some point) and the poison design on my shirt turning into the Tiger Widow Venom. Blake would have then had an epic moment, saving everyone with a final wish, which would have also fully repaired the house as well.

Since at the time that would’ve been the last aired season (crazy how time flies, right?) when we went to make a move to destroy the Ouija board, Yang would’ve popped out but instead of attacking like we expect, is impressed that we survived the onslaught and presents us each with pins of each ninja’s symbol that allow us to use the gifts we mastered over the night whenever we want/need to. After we send him off with the convenient eclipse happening outside, we would’ve destroyed the board and settled in to watch the primer of DotD, closing out the RP.

Once again, thank you all for participating all those years ago, and if you’d like a copy of the chat logs feel free to message me!

🏮🏮🏮

Debt two is slightly more recent but also on the same note, “Ninjagoland: A Summer RP Experience”.

I thought I’d learned my lesson, but apparently not since life got wild while trying to run this one too. I’d hoped the flexible group setting would allow me to keep better track of it, but when they came out with more and more seasons at a quicker pace than expected I ended up with a writing paralysis that just didn’t clear up, which is what caused the abandonment. Also, I felt things were rapidly changing at the parks to the point it was hard to stay in the correct mind space to write this one, as it started to feel like a period piece in a way.

Same as with the last one, I’d like to apologize to and thank @geekywinemom , @ninjagogolion , @councillake , @kaospersona for participating, you all pushed the story into some crazy fun directions that kept me on my toes for improvisation!

I can’t give an exact closure to this one because it was very improvisation based, down to even what seasons we experienced in what order. Yes,this is why I would always ask what ride you all wanted to go on next, because that determined the next round of chaos! Also, there would have been a ‘lock and load’ montage at the Downtown Disney Lego Store, where the weapons we picked from sets would have become real for us to use against the villains.

The main plot for this one would’ve ended with Sons of Garmadon, which in a terrifying twist, would have seen us returning to the Fantasyland suit to find Harumi waiting for us (and yes, this twist is why I gave us the ultra princess-y suit to stay in!)

We would have worked together with the time twins and the ninja themselves to un-merge the realms before Harumi could fully start her conquest by completing the resurrection.

The archive for this one has its own whole side blog, but if you’d like me to post a list of rides and their corresponding villains/seasons, or are even interested in a possible revival this coming summer, just hit me up!

🏮🏮🏮

The last abandoned RP is so old it was on deviantart, but thank you so much @onyxcia-greystone for your amazing storytelling with the Morro-centric RPs of ours.

I’m sorry that the horrific combination of high school plus writer’s block stopped the RP dead in its tracks. Even though I feel like too different of a person now to go back and finish it, I’m glad to have been taken on such a thrill ride and that your RP turned out so well. Writing Morro is always fun!

[toflyandfall]

I just saw a photo of "What persona. Dick Grayson isn't a mask. Not like Bruce Wayne is" from Detective Comics #725 and I find it interesting that Dick and the rest of the bats, with the exception of Bruce, don't wear "masks" per se. They are who they are with or without the domino mask/helmet. The only time I can really think of Dick faking things is when he pretended to be an incompetent BPD cop. How was he able to avoid creating and living, half the time, through a "persona" like "Brucie"?

Oooh, this is a lovely, meaty question.  There’s a lot more analysis of Bruce than I planned because let’s be real, it’s kinda weirder for a guy to run around with half a dozen personas than for someone else to run around as himself.  I hope you still find it interesting, but if you want to skip straight to the more Dick-centric stuff, head under the readmore.

A simple but significant factor is that Dick thrives on the company of people in a way that Bruce does not.  I suspect if you talk honestly to many introverts, you will find they too have an extroverted ‘mask’ they put on to the larger world, though probably not quite so extreme.

Another factor is that the civilian social circles Dick and Bruce travel in are vastly different.  Though they each have a reason for being in those circles, that difference itself enables Dick to escape much of the scrutiny that Bruce’s public identity undergoes, because he doesn’t frequently associate with the much more media-hounded elite.

An interesting thing here is that the large difference in social circles between their civilian lives is actually caused by their own personal similarities: they are 100% committed work-a-holics.  It’s just that they have differing civilian approaches to their goals.

I want to start with Bruce because as you point out, his use of persona is distinct among the bats and his reasons for using them in part explain why Dick and the other bats do not.

Bruce is a child of privilege, he has always lived a lifestyle of privilege, regardless of the tragedies that have occurred during it, and his default view of the world, through no fault of his own, is natively that of the extreme upper class.  This drastically influences his perspective and approach to change, and changing the world is his perpetual goal, the reason he put on the suit in the first place.

Bruce works a top-down society approach toward systemic change, and he works it all the time.  This is actually my favorite but woefully under-emphasized part of him: he is not just someone who punches people on the street ‘for justice’, he uses his company, his money, and his social position toward substantial systemic change. This post does a wonderful job covering the ways he does this through his corporations and personal wealth, as does this one.  I cannot recommend either enough because I constantly want to push even the most casual Batman fans to understand: Bruce Wayne is not just a violent punchy puncher man.  He is a traumatized person genuinely trying to use all his resources including himself to make the world safer.

Detective Comics #725

Bruce has many personas he maintains, and he uses all of them according to what suits his need--Batman for places the law can’t go, Bruce Wayne the CEO pushing for systemic changes, Matches Malone for street information, and Brucie the society high roller for society information and social influencing.  He is rarely ever not in a persona and simply ‘Bruce’.

His top-down perspective of enacting change are what dictated the usage and necessity of these personas. He has the means and capacity to basically disappear from society if he so chose--he in fact does so to train during his younger years so successfully they don’t even know how long he was actually gone. 

The Batman Files

So he doesn’t need the personas.  Not Bruce Wayne, CEO, or Brucie, or any of them really, to protect his identity.  That tells us that Brucie is a deliberate choice he made at some point.  He could have been a recluse billionaire Batman indefinitely.  Even though he fully has the status and means to not maintain a job or a persona or, let’s be frank, a life outside the mask at all, it’s his own work-a-holicness that led to the creation of his public personas.  He’s an obsessive strategist, so if Brucie is a choice, that leads us to why?

Bruce does many philanthropic things with his money, but he isn’t the only rich person around, especially not in a city as old and corrupt as Gotham.   But he’s one of the very few ones doing good with it.

The comic you mentioned has a very beautiful moment where Bruce touches on that, and in full context you can feel how consumed he is by this goal of creating the Gotham his parents would have wanted.  Batman mentions he never sees himself in that place, and the morbid interpretation is that the city kills him before he reaches it, but the hopeful interpretation is that in that shining city, Bruce Wayne and Batman and Brucie and all his masks will no longer be needed.

Detective Comics #725

Back in the old days they’d call it noblesse oblige: the inferred responsibility of privileged people to act with generosity and nobility toward those less privileged. Thomas and Martha Wayne ingrained this feeling of responsibility into Bruce by example, and as all things related to them, he obsesses over it.  It urges him to fulfill expectations within segments of society he finds onorous for the betterment of society as a whole in order to carry out their unfinished works.

Enter Brucie.

Brucie serves a two-fold purpose.  Since Bruce has chosen to maintain personas among society, it becomes a false face to justify any oddities Batman might bring into the life of Bruce Wayne by setting himself up as a eccentric, popular social scion.  But that persona itself also allows him to manipulate the upper crust of society.

I have some insider perspective on the kind of society events Brucie attends.  They’re all about the who’s who of making connections, name-dropping and networking, and unspoken class-based elitism.  Charity events among the upper class have these things at the forefront and the cause is the background.  You don’t get your hands dirty, you don’t go out and make change yourself, you pay money to be socially seen and sometimes it happens to go towards a philanthropic cause.  If you want to raise money from the rich and keep people with deep pockets coming in the door, you have to have social currency yourself. This is where, and why, Brucie comes in.  I believe Brucie ws crafted to maintain Batman’s cover but still attempt to carry on his parents’ legacy to grease the wheels of the rich in the directions he chooses: one of generosity towards those less privileged. 

Superman/Batman #51

The inevitable flaw of Bruce’s approach to his personas and their philanthropy is that in a city rife with corruption, money distributed from the top has many opportunities to disappear well before it reaches the bottom.  As in many of ways they are complements to each other, Dick’s approach balances that out, because his approach to helping his fellow man starts out at the street level...literally.

Nightwing #153 (Nightwing: The Great Leap)

Dick, we know, does not come from privilege.  His mother was from a middle class family before she joined the circus, and despite being world famous athletes, most circus workers are lower to middle class.  The people he grew up with, was comfortable with, were all working folk who expected everyone to pull their weight right alongside each other.  He enacts this everyone-together approach in almost all aspects and phases of his life. 

Batman #615

Even once he had settled into being Robin and adapted to living at the manor, he didn’t feel belonging to a culture of privilege, materialism, or high society. He preferred shotgun in the limo to chat with the driver to riding fancy in the back.  Once he was able to start making his own decisions about where and how he lived, despite having both Bruce’s money and then later inheriting a substantial amount of his own, he chose mostly lower-class communal places.

Batman Black and White #6

Dick also doesn’t see the value of throwing money at a problem when there is an option to fix it with his own hands.  We see this frequently, from building his own car instead of buying a finished one or outsourcing the work, to deciding the best way to clean out the BPD was to start at the bottom and work his way up (literally), to quitting college because his classes never got prioritized over crimesolving.  Most of his day jobs ended for similar reasons. 

Nightwing #153 (Nightwing: The Great Leap)

Despite the showmanship training, he gravitates away from spotlight on the rich and wealthy, who are notoriously the kind of people who do not get their hands dirty or go out and take care of things themselves, and prefers to find or build communities around the kind of people who do.

Finally, Dick is an extrovert.  He doesn’t need to act extroverted as Brucie does because he is extroverted.  He likes people and likes being around people.  Whether by conscious choice or not, he tends to put himself in situations where he is surrounded by people in nearly all aspects of his life.  He chooses apartment buildings whose occupants frequently pass each other on the stairs; jobs that involve interacting with many co-workers, patrons, or students; and collects superhero teammates like Boy Scout badges.  And all of these behaviors come very naturally to him.  

He doesn’t need a mask or a role or a persona for those kind of interactions; his mask is pre-supplied as “neighbor” or “co-worker” or “teacher” by the situations he puts himself in.  It helps make him an exemplary leader, because just by acting authentically to himself, he automatically builds up little communities around him any time he arrives somewhere.

Bruce, on the other hand, is an introvert.  For him, interacting with people isn’t easy, automatic, or comfortable unless it has a purpose, but as a strategist, he knows the necessity of human interaction as a catalyst to achieving dynamic change. So he adapts personas to suit people’s expectations.  Extroverts have more social currency; the life of the party can generate more resources than a brooding wallflower.  

So, it boils down to just a few elements: Dick believes in living and interacting at the street level to accomplish the things that he wants to, and he is extroverted enough that the level of social interaction that entails is not a burden to him.  He surrounds himself with the types of people he is more familiar or perhaps more comfortable with, which happens to keep him further out from the media’s eye than associating with the upper crust does. The lower profile is more incidental than intentional, but it lessens his need to have a cover story for every single bruise and lets him get away with even less of a ‘persona’.

Bruce, on the other hand, is introverted and follows a more classist view that systemic change needs to be effected from the top down.   His personas are more of a self-assumed duty than a necessity, as a way of trying to carry out his parents’ legacy.  Any of his children could have chosen to follow his path in business or the high society limelight, but the sense of obligation toward it is something personal to him that most of them don’t share.

[bookwyrminspiration]

WAIT. I'm late to the party but I just remembered all those anons were sending in "why I send you asks" and their reasons and I actually really want to participate, so I hope you will accept late applications?

The reason I send you so many asks is because you've just...built such a nice feeling that anything can be discussed, and it's never too niche or cringy or boring, and that's really relieving and amazing.

I'm sure you (along with many others) have realized by now, but I suffer from....really bad anxiety, both social anxiety and just in general, and it very often gets in the way of my life. Because of this and past experiences, I'm always very scared and hesitant to talk about my interests and my thoughts on anything.

But every time I've sent you an ask, even if it was, in retrospect, probably really annoying to read through the one hundred "sorry"s and "my bad"s, you've always been nothing but kind and interested in my ideas, and that was just...so surprising. Because I never really knew anyone who was willing to talk about anything, and it was just...really amazing to meet someone who was! Especially because I love and am interested in so many different things and kind of need someone to bounce ideas at. And it was really cool to see someone that was unashamed of their own interests and thoughts, but didn't make others feel bad for having different ideas.

Every time I send you an ask, you always have something interesting to say back. Something I hadn't thought of or considered, or a query that would make me rethink my own theories, or just a very well-thought-out answer to a question. I remember sending in tons of asks about the wings AU before it was released, and writing those was probably the highlight of my day, because I knew you'd take them and run with the ideas, and do your best to match my energy, and I was really grateful for that. And you were always willing to dig deeper, to think "but what if there was more?" and that's just...incredible! I don't have any other word for it!

I love sending you asks because you don't dismiss an idea or deem it as stupid, and you're just...such a kind and wonderful person that can make even the most obscure subject infinitely more interesting than before, and you never fail to make me consider things again, to expand my thoughts and views, and I'm really grateful for that.

So, because it should definitely be said by now, thank you!

And, well, that's why I love sending you asks :]

- pyro

there is no timeline so there's no way to be late! and I'm answering this a few days after you sent this, so if you believe yourself to be late then we can both be late together :D. you are fully welcome to participate if you want to (which you said you did)! it was mostly just a random question I had because i'm just as analytical with myself as I am with keeper, and knowing how other perceive and think of me is helpful for that--and I was curious about how i'd aquired so many asks so quickly, and then you all just turned it into complimenting quil hours for some reason !! (but on to your ask before I get even more distracted)

(note from a quil who has answered all of this: got very long so that's why there's a readmore! i love you /p)

this means so much to me--specifically your use of "built" because I do try pretty hard to maintain a positive atmosphere and welcome everyone in and treat everyone with the same attention. it didn't just fall into place, i try to be encouraging to everyone and support all the amazing work--art, writing, ideas, etc--I see from people. (note: i've been wanting to do a thing where I ask for fic/art/other recommendations from others (can be friends or their own) so i can go through and reblog a bunch of them with comments and the like, I just want to get through more of my asks before I start something like that). But you're right--nothing is too niche! there's so many details in the story it's impossible for one person to notice anything, so people bringing up the obscure and their own thoughts makes the story richer and more fleshed out for everyone else! and i think it's really cool to just see what other people focus on (like I said, my analysis isn't limited to characters, but I'm not like dissecting you all to understand each of you in a creepy way or anything. I just like to get a better sense of someone so I can respond in a way more tailored to them when we interact)

anxiety can really suck, so as someone who also has anxiety i am giving you a comforting hug if you'd like one. it genuinely impacts everything you do and think about, rewriting how you experience life. a single, inconsequential experience to someone else can literally change major aspects of how we think, which makes interactions so scary sometimes. i remember things people said years ago and still base my actions around them, but those people have absolutely no recollection of ever saying it, but just the fear of having done something wrong once permanently altered my thinking. (this is not to make this about me, I'm just trying to show I understand by sharing an experience of my own).

reading through all your "i'm sorry"s and "my bad"s wasn't annoying and never will be. you have never had anything to apologize for, and I know that sometimes you feel you need to enter a conversation and first apologize for being there, but I'm thrilled to have you here and always love seeing you in my inbox. I don't know how to articulate this properly, but I'm going to try. i saw your apologies and your apprehension as...a puzzle? that's absolutely not the right word but I can't think of the right one so please let me explain (I don't mean to imply you're like something to be solved or a problem in any way. words can be difficult and I'm trying to describe something very intangible rn, so I hope this doesn't sound bad). I didn't see it as annoying (you're never annoying), I saw it like it was something to work through, and while it's not my job or anything to help other's with their personal problems, it was like if I could just provide one space where I could encourage you (not just you, but anyone) as a friend to try shifting your language and start thinking of yourself more positively, then I wanted to give that.

because I am interested in your ideas! and I want to be kind and welcoming to you! but I also want you to be kind to yourself, so any impact I've had to give anyone a safer, less scary space is really cool. I don't know if that made sense, but I'm not trying to talk down to you or anything or be like I'm this high and mighty figure harboring lost souls or something, just that connection is important and I like being there for people. kinda worried that sounded bad because it feels worded strange but I'm trying to reciprocate and say i appreciate you and am happy to talk about anything!

i love bouncing ideas back and forth and you are more than welcome to say anything and everything you're thinking about. talking to you is always an absolutely joy and I get so excited when you send me an ask and when you're reading my response, because it often feels like this like...buzz? like we're just vibing on this frequency and it makes it so much fun to throw ideas back and forth and just listen to each other talk. i am very glad to have surprised you and met you! I don't know a lot of people like myself either, so having someone like you interact with me and just go all out on these little things and what we personally like about different parts of the so much fun. a lot of the other people I know irl feel like they just scratch the surface, they say things just to get credit for it and to appear like they know what they're talking about while ignoring all these other things that have such an impact, so it's amazing to have found someone else who looks at everything and anything like I do. my brain really is "a little bit of everything all of the time" so knowing you have so many different interests too is really cool. i am giving you an internet high five and pretending you aren't so far away.

I spent so much of my life being quiet when I had so many thoughts, so now that I have this kind of outlet I just! want to say everything I can! i want to look at everything from every perspective possible! the world is a huge collection of things tied together and I love following the strings to find the connected pieces! but I think that's a way of approaching the world not a lot of people share (I could be wrong), so it's really cool to hear you think my thought process is interesting!! my brain is practically composed entirely of questions. any subject at any time of the day and nearly all of my thoughts are just wanting to know more and trying to understand things, so having that opportunity to ask further questions and just learn things (about what other's thing, how things work, etc) is so much fun. you might've seen me ask some questions of other's in a few of the asks I answer, but those barely scratch the surface of just how many I have. my handle is in_quil_sitive (inquisitve) on nearly every social media platform (except for this one) for a reason.

I remember some of your asks from before the wings au was published, too. those were absolutely incredible, and I got a rush of excitement every time I saw you sent another. those were the the highlight of my week, too!! your enthusiasm and excitement for something I hadn't even posted yet gave me so much motivation to continue and you helped me think through so many future ideas and consider things from new perspectives. i know i specifically wrote that you inspired one chapter in the notes, but you've had an impact on every single chapter of this story/ it wouldn't be what it is without you, and I mean that with complete sincerity. you were the one who made me think "what if there was more" so I could make this au even better and work towards something bigger. I just have so many thoughts about everything all of the time, I can't go more than a few minutes without being distracted by a different train of thought, but knowing there was someone who would want to hear all the weird, disjointed ideas i'd strung together and composed into a more cohesive format was so cool. there's just so much to think about!!

I probably sound repetitive at this point but I love answering your asks because you're so receptive to the way i say things and it's like you're actually listening and want to hear what I specifically have to say, not just the general ideas. you want to know my unique, personalized opinions and perspectives and don't just dismiss them when they're not what you expect to hear or aren't generic. you're incredibly kind, too, I hope you know. I love the description of how I can "make even the most obscure subject infinitely more interesting than before." that is such a meaningful compliment to me. I just keep thinking about this line over and over again and it just...it really means a lot. because you're saying it's me that interests you and not just what I talk about. I could talk about anything and you'd still want to interact with me and that's so fucking nice. I hope you know the same goes for you. we can challenge each other's thinking together and make things even deeper and more complex before together <33.

thank you for being here and being my friend, pyro. talking to you is always one of the highlights of my day and gives me a very positive feeling that I carry around for a while. I do this thing sometimes where I film myself to later observe my behaviors in the middle of intense emotions to understand myself better (back to that whole analysis thing again), but it's not just negative things, it's also when I'm really excited or pleased with something and jumping around and stimming and all that, and some of those are from when I interact with you. that might sound a little weird but I mean it positively, as in talking with you makes me ecstatic.

I have said. so many things. so I will stop (for now). but I really appreciate having you in my life <33

[lilolilyr]

Tagged by @ongreenergrasses, thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Way over 300! Tho it feels like it's been at 300sth so long by now, it'll be weird to look at once it hits 400 :D

Btw, funny how this tag meme asks for so much stuff that can be looked up by just... looking at my Ao3... without asking for any commentary by me? Lol

Anyhow, rest under the readmore bc this is 20 questions and Long!

Personal post - do not reblog

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

995596 - just a few more ficlets or 1 longer fic, and I've got a Million! Hey, maybe I should try to write one with... 4404? (I'd need to ask a calculator xD) words exactly... not rly a hardship with how many drabble exercises (exact wordcounts, 100 is the most used, I also do 200, 500, longest was 10000 exactly lol) I've already done... we'll see!

Over 400k for this year alone, and over half of that is my actual writing (not translations etc), I'm so proud! Last year I only barely hit 200k and that included a lot of translating work

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  

Again, one could look this up in my works filtered - sorted by kudos? But all three of my incubus!jaskier witcher series are in it, part 2 of the series is highest with 1091 kudos, then a Venom halloween oneshot, and 'Belonging', a fluffy snake-crowley piece from my ineffable spouses series (yes, sth with under 1k words - 666 to be exact - is in the top 5... my poor longfics lol)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

...I try to? But atm I have 202 unanswered (and I always click 'mark read' on replies so these are all comments on my own fic) even tho I told myself I'd not let it get past 200, and now I'm doing a tag meme instead of replying to anything so ummmm

Edit: 203 unread now

But I do love love love all the comments I get! And while atm it's still semi-manageable, if it ever gets to the point where I really can't manage to reply to everyone cause it's too much, i'd rly take that as a compliment lol :D I'd still try to reply to the longer and/or more thought through comments tho :)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

*thinks* I have an MCD fic? But not only is that very much a case of ~posting a draft version that's barely in complete sentences insgead of taking the time to turn it into a real longfic~, I also just killed off the mlm couple I only semi care about and left the wlw couple with a happy/hopeful (rly don't remember) ending, so... hm idk whether that counts for angsty ending

Apart from that... I dunno, I just prefer my babies to be happy and fluffy? *.* i remember a mirror milippa in the mirrorverse one where in the end Michael is worried about lying to Philippa about her identity... there are some angsty TOG and Gomens ones but I think they end happy-ish (my memory is. Bad. but looking through my 'angst' tag I just saw a lot of h/c and 'angst with a happy ending')

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

They're all happy???!?

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Ahahahahahhahahaahaha

Check this out

I need you to know that all the works in that collection take part in the same universe (or rather, multiverse), and are alltogether just scratching the surface of my gigantic headcanon multiverse that I've been building in my mind since I was like 10

Actual crossovers other than that I don't remember writing

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeh but I only remember clicking 'delete comment', as it should be

Recently I've just gotten a bunch of 'you Need to continue this' and 'omg why isn't there more' or 'this shouldn't end' type comments, not hate, probably not meant maliciously, but So Annoying (maybe espesh bc I don't want to just hit delete on these, but I also don't want to pretend it's fine, but I also don't have the energy for a fight, and trying to explain why that behaviour is entitled and annoying and that I write what I want to write and nice comments should praise what I actually have written, and hoping that they understand and don't get mad is... hard.)

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Check out my rated E and rated M in my works

Mostly femslash lately, but I did also write other smut in the past

Most is a bit dominant/submissive play, but I do also like good fluffy smut with feelings! Best in combo, really :D

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not in the sense of pretending someone else wrote it (that i know of), but posted to other sites without my permission - writing 'don't repost to other sites' etc did Not help, they even copied those tags lol, so I just let it be, choosing my battles wisely etcetc, I'd prefer for my fic not to be cross-posted by others bc then I can't edit or otherwise influence the fic anymore and don't see everyone's reactions to it, but as long as it's not someone pretending they wrote it, I only semi care, not enough to fight it tbh

PSA: I Only post fics to Ao3 (and WIPs/prompt fills to tumblr&discord at times), if you see them somewhere else that's Not Me and you'd do me a favour by checking them out on ao3 and kudosing&commenting there instead :)

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yup, one to Russian a while back, a floreleine (Gunpowder Milkshake) one to Korean just today actually, and I translated a bunch to German myself

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I made a TOG fic together with @cinnamonplums, well mostly I wrote and she made the art :D

Trying to remember whether I ever actually co-wrote anything... don't think so?

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Don't make me choose!!!

Atm Milippa is OTP bc I'm busy writing them for @discoveryfemslashfortnight (this is not a post to reblog for the fortnight), but I'm also still rly into Floreleine, Bering&Wells and Andromaquynh and Andronilynh, and I read a lot of Mirandy lately

All-time favs I'm not rly active in atm but will always be dear to me are the ineffable spouses, clintcoulson, heistwives, gosh so many more I'll stop here tho xD

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A Heistwives Kinda Job immediately comes to mind

I also rly want to finish at least one cohesive original-ish storyline for the lverse that I already linked for the crossover question above, but I just have so much backstory (it's been over 10 years!!!) and it's... hard...

And everything else that's still WIP and untouched for more than a few months will probably have the same fate lol

Also have a few that haven't even seen the light of day at all, most recent a Mirandy ~what if Andy had been pregnant when Miranda hired her and how would it change the entire storyline~ bit - I wrote it in bulletpoints in one go as quickly as I could, I know I had the finished product in my mind, I don't remember anything now and don't feel like going through the bulletpoints painstakenly filling in the blanks

15. What are your writing strengths?

Writing one-shots quickly in one go

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Forgetting everything about a fic if I leave it in a draft for a second too long

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

There are many ways to go about it, and I think they all work (depending on the fic and the length and relevance of the dialogue)

I tend to leave single sentences as is, and for longer and important sequences use cursive and 'they said in xylanguage'.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The Hobbit apparently? I remember thinking that fic was so long lol, it's 3k

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Kat/Ana from Reef Break, they have Such Shippable Chemistry, and it would totally fit Kat's player personality to bang both siblings (she's canonically friends with benefits with Ana's half-brother)... but the ship has one (1!) fic on Ao3 *cries*

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

TOG Andromaquynh longfic In Your Stead has had the title since last year and probably for a while to come! I loved the story idea so much I really worked with several drafts and only! worked on that fic until it was finished so I wouldn't get distracted & forget about it, and the result was wonderful.

Tagging, if you want to do it, @sarah-fiers @purlturtle @cookie-sheet-toboggan @ussjellyfish @onaperduamedee @startrekgeorgiouery @rosalie-starfall @lonely-night @banashee @xvnot15 and everyone else who sees this

Questions to copy:

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? 6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? 7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written? 8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? 9. Do you write smut? If so what kind? 10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 11. Have you ever had a fic translated? 12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 13. What’s your all time favorite ship? 14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? 15. What are your writing strengths? 16. What are your writing weaknesses? 17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? 19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? 20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?