#also I genuinely don’t care how many people see my art here and everyone is always very sweet in the tags

[kaitotenjoirl]

Tumblr is pretty nice

[irkimatsu]

I love your Husk works! Could you please write one where fem!reader gets along with everyone and Husk doesn't even realize that he's catching feelings, but maybe on a night out with everyone, someone comes up and starts heavily flirting with her. Ends with confessions and sugary sweet tooth rotting fluff please. 😍

God damn, anon, do you have any idea how hard it is to wring a confession out of this man? I was going along at a steady pace and then I got stuck for hours! I genuinely hope you like slowburn, because Husk doesn't go from zero-to-love easily. I think he's gotten a nice start here, though. It's definitely fluffy!

Husk/Fem!Reader starting a relationship. Mentions of drinking and attempted sexual assault that Husk interrupts before things get too heavy. SFW, 2.8k words. Enjoy! I hope this is what you had in mind, anon! Thank you so much for reading my works!

Your first few months staying at the Hazbin Hotel have gone quite smoothly; as smoothly as anything there can ever go, anyway. Charlie took an instant liking to you - she takes an instant liking to everyone, so it’s nothing special, but still. She can be a bit overbearing, but you know she means well, and she’s grateful to have someone who doesn’t immediately write off her trust exercises from the start.

Still, after all the sharing circles and art therapy, you occasionally find yourself craving more “adult” fun, and that’s where Angel and Cherri come in. It’s not that you don’t want to be redeemed, but what could be so sinful about enjoying yourself a little? You’re not doing anything dangerous or drastic, no drugs and no getting involved with the wrong people; you’re just having fun drinking, dancing, maybe smashing up some abandoned property if the opportunity strikes. Charlie can’t get mad at destruction if no one cares about the thing you just blew up, right?

The bartender, Husk, isn’t nearly as keen on those nights on the town, but you’ve still managed to bond with him on nights where you prefer to stay in. He’s a surprisingly good listener underneath his gruff exterior. (Perhaps too good of a listener; you hope he keeps ignoring whatever bullshit you might have spouted off after one too many of his cocktails.) He also has plenty of stories of his own, mostly from the time he spent alive. When you could get him talking, he’d weave incredible tales of nightlife, both from his home city in Las Vegas and all the other places he’d visited in his life. He seemed especially wistful when talking about a woman he knew back then. He could talk for hours about all the famous sites he was able to take her to, all the songs he would sing for her, and all the starry skies he’d dance with her under.

“It’s not like I blame her for leaving. I’m the one who screwed it up. But being in love… it was nice while it lasted.”

You try to encourage him with the hope that he could fall in love again, but he shakes his head with a bitter smile.

“I lost the ability to love years ago.”

—-

Your friendship with Angel and Cherri is so different compared to your friendship with Husk, so it took a few months before you could have a night out with all three of them. Charlie is once again less enthused about the idea of you four going out to party, but you promise to be relatively well behaved.

You promise, anyway. You can’t make promises for Angel’s sake, and as much as you love her, you know better than to have any faith in Cherri.

You’re surprised Husk agreed to come to a sex club at all. He never seemed like the type to be into that sort of thing. You’re less surprised to see that he has no intention of flirting with anyone and is instead perfectly happy to sit by the wall and knock back shots as quickly as the bartender can pour them.

Couldn’t he drink himself stupid back at the hotel, though? Why did he even come?

Is it just you, or has he been watching you the whole night?

The hours tick by, and you, Angel, and Cherri become progressively more wasted. Angel is currently hanging off of a muscular bull demon - damn, good for him - while Cherri tells you about another resident who used to stay at the hotel before he tragically lost his life during the last extermination.

“He was such a fucking idiot that it was charming, ya know? God damn I should have gotten to know him better when he was still around! I heard this rumor about him and never even got to find out if it was true!”

As she speaks, Cherri catches sight of a cobra demon who is currently chatting up a cluster of punk girls.

“Well, damn… maybe I’ll get to find out tonight. Don’t wait around for me, I’ll find my way back!”

With that announcement, Cherri is gone, leaving only you and Husk with about a dozen bar stools between you. He’s definitely keeping an eye on you; there’s still liquid in his glass, and  he’s watching you instead of guzzling it.

What’s his deal? If he wants to spend the night with you, why doesn’t he just come over here? You decide not to go over there yourself; no sense in rewarding him if he’s playing mind games.

You instead turn your attention to a handsome wolf demon who has taken Cherri’s seat. “Drinking all alone, love?” he says, his deep voice smooth as butter. Right away this man gives you the air of a natural-born charmer who can win anyone’s trust within seconds, only to break their hearts within hours.

He’s hot, and you’re drunk. You’ll let him break your heart a little.

Your conversation starts normally enough, with low stakes topics like the music and the drink selection in the bar. You’re in no hurry to tell this man anything personal or leave this spot with him, but you’re enjoying looking at him and hearing him enough that you don’t mind being a bit of entertainment.

He bumps your knee with his at one point, but you pull your own knee away. At first he seems to take the hint, and time passes without any more advances.

Soon, however, he grows more bold.

“Why don’t we go somewhere else, baby?” he asks as he lightly squeezes your thigh. “Somewhere more private?”

“No thanks,” you say as you jerk your leg away, though the motion doesn’t make him let go. “I’m fine talking here.”

“You know this is a sex club, don’t you?” he says. His smile and voice haven’t changed, but somehow he seems much slimier than he did five minutes ago, and the strong paw gripping your leg that seemed so enticing in your head feels suffocating in reality.

“I’m not here for that, I’m just hanging out with friends-” You try to leave the stool, but the man throws his arm around your shoulders and pulls you in.

“Come on, babe! What did you think I was after by chatting you up like this? You’re not gonna leave me hanging, are you?” He’s holding you closely enough that his hot breath is hitting your face, and the stench of his cologne is making you gag. “C’mon, baby, I’ll show you a good time. You won’t regret this-”

“She said no.” Husk had somehow snuck his way to your side without you noticing, and was now glaring daggers at your pursuer. “Back off.”

“Who are you, her grandpa?” the wolf laughs, refusing to unhand you. “Or just a nasty old man who likes ‘em young?”

Your captor’s laughter is quickly interrupted by a high-pitched howl. His face is now adorned with four jagged, bleeding lines.

“What the fuck, old man?” he yells as he unhands you. Just as quickly as you’re unhanded, you’re grabbed again, this time by Husk grabbing your waist and pulling you away.

“I knew I fucking hated this place,” he growls. “Where are Cherri and Angel?”

You have no idea, but your first guess has you looking toward the sex rooms in the back of the club.

“Jesus Christ… they’ll find their own way home. Come on, we’re going back to the hotel.”

You don’t appreciate being dragged out of the club like a misbehaving child, but as the alcohol clouds your thinking, you can’t quite formulate a protest.

Considering how pissed off your admirer must be right now, maybe it’s for the best that you don’t stay.

—

The walk back to the hotel is blurry; if Husk had anything to say to you besides pissed off obscenities muttered beneath his breath, you don’t remember it. Your next memory finds you laying on the couch in the lobby, your head aching from a combination of a hangover and the time spent laying on the couch’s arm with your neck at a weird angle.

“What time is it…?” you murmur as your eyes try to adjust.

“About noon,” answers Husk from the bar. 

As you continue to look around the lobby, he appears to be the only one here. “Where is everyone?” you ask through a yawn.

“Angel and Cherri still aren’t back, but I’m sure they’re fine. Charlie and Vaggie left to give you some quiet. Alastor and Niffty…” Husk shrugs after their names, then falls silent.

You groan as you push yourself into a sitting position, one that has you facing Husk. He doesn’t appear to have anything to do, and is instead standing with his chin resting on his crossed arms atop the bar. An awkward silence falls between the two of you, giving you plenty of time to observe Husk’s body language, particularly the way his tail is lashing behind him while his ear gives the occasional twitch.

He is not in a good mood.

“Are you okay?” you ask. Your well-meaning question only seems to piss him off further; he answers not with a word, but with a growl. “Is this about last night?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he insists.

“I’m sorry I caused you trouble…”

“Wasn’t your fault.” His tail lashes even harder. “Just don’t worry about it, all right?”

You’re going to keep worrying about it until he stops looking so on edge.

“Thanks for getting me away from that guy last night,” you say, just in case you didn’t thank him in your drunken haze.

“Hey, it’s what a good bartender does. When you see someone starting shit with another patron, even if it’s not your bar, you take care of the problem. That fucker had no right to put his hands on you after you told him to cut it out.”

He may be gruff, but at least he has standards.

“Can’t believe Cherri and Angel left you alone in there… those two better not take you to anymore fucking sex clubs, you don’t need to be around shit like that…”

“I’m a grown adult,” you protest. “I didn’t want to sleep with that guy, but if I did want to get with someone at that club, that’s my business.”

Husk’s eyes widen for a moment, before he returns to his original dour expression. “Yeah… guess you’re right.”

“And what about you? You didn’t look interested in picking up anyone last night. Why’d you even come?”

“How do you know I wasn’t interested?” he shoots back. “Maybe I was interested in someone! Maybe I just… didn’t have the balls to go for it.” He stands up straight and shakes his head. “Look, can we drop this? Hang out in sex clubs if you want, I don’t fuckin’ care.”

He’s speaking with the tone of voice of someone who very much cares.

“I’m done with ‘em, though. You’re right, you’re an adult, you don’t need me hanging around like some fuckin’ guardian angel.” He pours a glass of clear liquid, and you expect him to down it himself, but he instead steps out from behind the bar still holding the full glass. “I overreacted last night. Shouldn’t have made it your fuckin’ problem.” He approaches the couch, takes a seat, and offers you the glass. “Here, one last favor. Drink this and I’ll get off your ass.”

You take the cup, wondering if for some ungodly reason he’s trying to get you to down straight vodka.

“Why are you looking at me like that? It’s water. That headache’s only gonna get worse if you’re dehydrated.”

You take a sip of the water, and after only a few swallows you’re already regaining a bit of your desire to live. “Thanks,” you say before taking another large gulp.

“No problem,” he responds. You expect him to return to the bar, but he remains next to you on the couch. His body language has gotten no less agitated. What is going on with him?

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you doting on Angel or Cherri like this,” you observe before finishing the glass.

“They’re used to it, and they’ve got each other,” he says as he takes the glass from you. “You want some more?”

You shake your head, and he remains seated with the glass.

“You, though… I don’t know, something about that guy just pissed me off,” he says. “Even before he started touching you I didn’t like him. Bartender’s intuition, maybe? I’m still not over the awful feeling he gave me.” He sighs heavily. “I just… hate the idea of seeing you get hurt in a place like that. I know Angel and Cherri can take care of themselves, but you’ve never seemed as wild as they do, so I wasn’t sure…”

“Is that why you were watching me the whole night?” you asked.

Husk’s body jolts. “Shit, you noticed?”

“I kept looking over there wondering if you’d ever move from that spot, and if you weren’t actively drinking you were staring at me,” you said. “You weren’t subtle.”

Husk groans as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Sorry. I know you’re capable. I was just…”

“You weren’t there because you were interested in someone at all, were you?”

“I never said I wasn’t. I mean it when I said I just didn’t have the balls to say anything to ‘em. Instead, I just wondered… what I’d do if someone else asked ‘em. Knowing it’d be my own damn fault for not speaking up sooner. Trying to tell myself it wasn’t that big a deal if they went with someone else… until someone started flirting with ‘em, and touchin’ ‘em, and-” His body tenses as he growls, but relaxes after a moment. “Damn it, I haven’t had to do this in years...”

“Done what?”

“You know what I said about losing my ability to love years ago?” He turns his head and looks directly at you for the first time since he sat down. “...I think I’m remembering how to do it again.”

Things are starting to fall into place. “And the person who helped you remember is…?”

The slightest of smiles crosses his face. “Who do you think?”

You wouldn’t have guessed it before today, but it all seems so obvious in retrospect. He’d spent so many nights with you when he could have been in bed, just chatting with you or comforting you after a bad day. You’d really grown so fond of his smile, and Angel had told you before that he used to never smile.

But surely, you thought, he couldn’t have been smiling because of you…

“What am I even saying?” he asks as he turns away from you. “You died in the prime of your life, and down here you can have that prime forever. You could do so much better than a washed up old drunk.”

“You’re not washed up,” you assure him as you place your hand over his. “I think it’s great that you got to live such a full life! You have so many stories to tell, and so many talents… I bet there’s so much you haven’t told me yet.” You try to reassure him with a smile and a light squeeze to his hand. “So much you haven’t shown me, either. You talk a lot about when you were in a band, but I’ve never gotten to hear you play…”

“I haven’t touched an instrument in years,” he says. “I bet I don’t even remember how to play anymore.”

“Well, you don’t know if you don’t try, right?”

You don’t think you’re just saying that about instruments.

“It’s been such a long time… what if I screw up?”

You don’t think he’s just talking about instruments either.

“It can’t hurt to try. Maybe… maybe you’ll enjoy it even more than you remember.”

“Hmm…” He doesn’t seem fully at ease, but he hasn’t taken his hand back yet. “If I can get my hands on a saxophone, and I really haven’t forgotten how… sure. I’ll play for you.

…you just have to give me some time, okay? I’m not used to it anymore… especially with another person…”

“Take all the time you need,” you assure him.

He turns his hand around so he can hold yours back, and his smile seems to grow slightly. “Just gotta start slow… get used to things again…”

“You’ll be fine, I know you will,” you assure him. He seems content to leave the conversation there, but there’s one more thing you need to say. “Husk?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think I’ll be going back to that club. No point when I’m not interested in picking up dates anymore.”

He squeezes your hand. “Glad to hear it.”

[signanothername]

WAAA not really an ask but just wanted to say your storytelling is a huge huge inspiration to me! I've always sorta struggled with that sorta thing and you're stuff gives me motivation to try!! Also I love how u draw killer it's so... him

ABBSHSHAAAAAA THANK YOU SOB

AND IM SO GLAD IT GIVES YOU MOTIVATION TO TRY!! Cause the funny thing is, storytelling is something that i also really struggle with, but not necessarily art wise, so like, when I make comics I can easily imagine what the art would be like and how it would flow, but once I reach the dialogue? I get stuck BIG time, it’s like I can imagine what i want, but I struggle with how to word it if that makes sense, words are just so hard to think of for me vhhchchc

So what i usually do is make the dialogue in two parts, first i’d I write everything I have in mind down, without thinking whether it makes sense or if it suits the character, and once i got everything written down, then i start actually refining it and thinking about the little details like whether this character would actually say that, or if it makes sense or if it’s better for the flow of the story

Sometimes, I know what I want the dialogue to be, but I struggle a lot with how i want the words to go, for example, the “little life update” comic

I struggled a LOT with the dialogue for that one, here are a few examples of dialogue I removed, changed, added and edited

I originally had Killer say “I get easily overwhelmed” before I changed it to “it gets overwhelming”

It’s such a small change but for me, it makes a very big difference, cause Killer usually feels detached from himself, so it just didn’t make sense to me that he would use “I” in regards to his own emotions, so I changed the dialogue so it would match Killer’s detachment and used “it” instead

Here I originally had the entire dialogue to be “monsters and Determination don’t mix well” followed by “ I mean my body’s already suffering from it”, but when I reread it, not only did it make the flow of the comic awkward and jumpy, but it also made me think “literally everyone in the Undertale fandom knows that I don’t need to reiterate it to them like they’re stupid”

Here I decided to add “but you already knew that” to the og dialogue, to further emphasize Nightmare’s manipulation of Killer

Here I removed an entire sentence saying “cause it’s not like you truly cared about my wellbeing” cause it felt a bit too spiteful even for Killer (who’s extremely spiteful bdhdhsh) and it gave the vibe Killer wanted Nightmare to care about him, which is not what I wanted to imply at all

And then the biggest change, the last few panels, the og dialogue and the one I used are completely different, and it’s mostly just me not knowing how to end the comic originally, but then when i reread it I realized that 1- Killer wouldn’t care about Nightmare’s feelings of loneliness when he barely understands his own emotions, 2- the dialogue felt extremely out of place with the rest of the comic, and 3- this comic wasn’t about Nightmare, it was about Killer and I needed to keep it that way

Anyway sorry for rambling about it but it genuinely makes me happy to see people loving my storytelling when i struggle a lot with it hahahaha

AND THANK YOU! Killer is my son and I just want to do him justice, glad to see so many people loving the way I write him EEEEEEEE

[neptunescore]

Unpopular opinion

But I really think that if Logan had been able to go through F2 fully and develop like everyone else (except max) did, and was put on a ran that wasn’t Williams, he’d be a much better driver. I can tell he’s improving currently, but he’d be so much better if he was allowed to grow and thrive and then put into F1, but he was taken out of F2 early, dumped into F1, and expected to perform amazingly.

Not every driver can skip F2 or be taken out early and perform great. I think the old team principal set him up for failure but not sporting him to continue his endeavors on F2. He was doing well so the team principal wanted to get to him before any other team could and that ultimately led to Logan’s horrible first season.

And I also think he was done wrong by Williams this season too. I understand that he’s by no means the best driver on the grid, but he isn’t the worst either.

A lot of people don’t want to acknowledge the growth he has made since last year. His year was ruined before it could truly began. With what happened in Australia, the team took his confidence away, and things went down from there. He was so ready and extremely confident, but his car was taken as punishment for something that his teammate did to his own car.

I get that it was a decision based on who could get points, but what really did it was the fact that Alex didn’t get any points and then Logan got his busted up chassis

And even recently, Logan barely got upgrades. He was given stuff from last year. I think he would do so much better on a different team because Williams obviously do not care for him the way they care for Alex. I get that he hasn’t really been driving the way they want him, but to be honest, neither has Alex.

I don’t know, man, this is just my opinion, but I feel like if he was allowed to finish his formula 2 season and then put into formula 1 things would be better for him. And if he weren’t in Williams, then that would be even better. They are known as the worst team on the grid to put a rookie in.

Another unpopular opinion, but I genuinely think he deserves another chance in a team like haas. I know you’re probably going to disagree with me, but haas has a better car than Williams and they would treat him fairly. He would also bring the team many sponsors as the only American, so it would be a win-win.

We don’t know how he would perform in a different team with a better car, so I’m just saying I would like to see what would happen

Honestly I agree with everything uve said here anon, like wholeheartedly.

I'm just gonna add a few more things, but overall, we both have the exact same opinions.

I feel like ppl forget that williams is literally an OVERWEIGHT car, like u literally can't expect amazing results from them, and I know some of you are gonna talk abt how alex seems to be doing rlly well, but alex has been here since 2019. Not to forget that he was part of that redbull shitshow, like this man is fully trained in the art of surviving under stressful situations, and he's also an experienced driver.

I feel like there's more hate on logan bc ppl keep seeing how well Oscar's doing, and those 2 came into F1 at the same time. But you literally can't compare them. You can't. Oscar's one of the VERY few rookies who managed to adjust to f1 that quick, and logan literally just needs TIME like all the other drivers got when they first joined too. Not to mention how SUPPORTING mclaren is of oscar, while james vowels is out there already talking abt different driver options and williams is so blatantly unmotivating of logan. God, ofc it's just gonna affect his performance even more bc this is the ONLY team hes been with, and it's his SECOND year, he needs affirmations and support.

Oscar is also in an AMAZING car, and as I've said bfr, logan is NOT. Ppl rlly need to stop comparing them.

All in all, his situation makes me so sad.

[purplebehittindifferent]

FAQ!!!!

before asking, check this out!

How many comic series do you have?

TLDR: As of currently I have 3!

Reconnecting: my deltarune fan comic. It is completed and the masterpost can be found on my pinned.

SpiderVerse: this is completed… for now. I had more plans but they fell through as the friends I had planned to do them with, left. Link on pinned.

IEYTD: this is just little comics scattered about, masterpost in on my pinned :)

RULE5: coming soon!

(if you would like more masterposts send an ask <3)

Is there going to be more reconnecting??!

TLDR: kind of? vvv

There will be no more COMIC/DRAWN content related to reconnecting (at least no more than the occasional doodle.) but I do plan to keep writing fanfiction on Ao3 to continue the story as long as it will go.

Can I send prompts for fics or art?:

Of course! Just know I might not be able to do them all!

Vivi “enjoyers” can be a bit much… are you comfortable with the way they (we) act?

I’ve decided long ago that Vivi is welcome to any sort of reaction. You are welcome to draw her however you’d like etc etc. as long as you don’t force others to look at it if they would not like, I do not mind what you do for your own enjoyment. Enjoy!

Your art is online and your AO3 is open! aren't you scared AI is going to steal it!?:

TLDR: my ao3 will remain open, my art will always be here vvv

I hate AI stealing creators' content as much as everyone else does. However, more so, I want anyone to be able to access real art. I have selected all of the available options to keep my works from being taken, and am very aware that the only way to keep my work safe on AO3 is to close it to guests. 

It took me, an avid fanfic reader, 4 years to get an Ao3 account. I care more about you guys being able to read what makes you happy and feeds your brain worms, than I care about my writing being stolen for this AI boom we are living in. It would tear me apart if you wanted to access my writing but had to wait so long for an account. 

I do not support AI in any form that replaces human beings, and though I know eventually I may never be able to have my work safe from AI on any platform, I will keep sharing it, and downright refuse to take it down. 

Taking all of my art down in fear of AI will be something I never do. In that way AI will kill me just as much as if it started stealing my work. Art is meant to be seen and shared. They will not take that from us.

I believe there is a group of people who like real artwork and writing made by real people. And I keep my trust in those people to see the value in non AI generated content. 

We will persevere.

Is fanart allowed?

TLDR: YES

SO MUCH YES. I BEG PLEASE PLEASE if you create fan content of my content or content inspired by my content, that is absolutely as long as I am either credited or @ on the post so I can see!!!

Where can I read RULE5?

TLDR: Rule5 isn't released yet!

Rule 5 is my original comic in progress, I have posted teaser art and some concept stuff. The hope is that it will start releasing weekly in early 2025. I am completing all the art first, so that it can have a consistent upload schedule and I can relax for a while. Trust me when I say- I will not shut up once it is available.

I want to make a comic but don't know where to start…

TLDR: DM me!!

My DMs are always open to genuine questions! I've actually spoken with many people who wanted to start their own series and have been told it's been helpful!

Though my biggest advice is GO FOR IT!!!!! The first couple updates might not gain a ton of traction right away, but persevere, keep going, and @ me so I can reblog it to help support you!!!

Are you LGBTQ+?

TLDR: nope :) cishet.

Many people have asked me this lol

Where can I find the masterposts and links to your other socials?

They are all on my pinned!!!

You have mental disorders + illnesses… What are they?

Respectfully it is none of your business. I try to spread awareness because I believe that is very important, but I also try to keep my personal things personal. If i'm ever outright about something, feel free to ask questions, and if i'm uncomfortable I will just say I do not wish to answer <3

How do I commission you?

There is a link on my Ko-Fi that goes to my comms!

 If you have any questions before ordering you can DM me anytime. Click the option you want, order it, and it will give you instructions from there. I check my orders once a day. If you set your order and I have not gotten back to you, please DM me it's possible I missed it.

Do you/will you draw NSFW and post it?

Not here.

Are you really in my walls?

Yep. I'm not kidding. That skittering you hear? It's me. Go hydrate yourself or I'll steal all your left shoes.

I found your work reposted without credit, should I tell you?

Yes please tell me!! I have not found any of my stuff randomly reposted without credit but I'm sure it will happen someday.

What art program do you use?

I use procreate! I highly recommend, as far as the brushes go, I use all of the base ones that come with the app itself. Nothing fancy.

Will you draw my OC?

If you commission me! sure!

if theres any more questions you think should be added here LMK

[acrosstobear]

Mick’s Diary: Life as an F1 Reserve Driver

Hi everyone and welcome to my diary!

Over the season, I’ll be keeping you up to date with how we’re progressing trackside and at the factory, and some insight into what I get up to away from racing. So, here’s my first entry.

Since I joined Mercedes, I’ve been settling in great. Everybody is just so open-minded towards me, and that made me feel welcome from the first moment I stepped into the factory in Brackley. I’ve spent a lot of time there in these first months. It’s a very impressive facility.

I visited it back in 2014 as a young driver and was even sneaking in the simulator then, but everything is a lot bigger now than it was then! It is a state-of-the-art facility, very impressive in how things are structured and how every detail is thoughtfully taken care of. I’m still getting used to the level of preparation that you see here, and I am trying to soak up as much information as I can. Also, there’s still a lot of people I haven’t met but it’s been fun getting to know as many colleagues as I can.

My main focus up to now has been working in the simulator. Because I have raced a car under this new set of regulations, I have a good understanding of how to drive them. That has helped me in my role so far and hopefully added value for the Team. I will look to be an extra pair of eyes and resource to help with the development programme across the year.

The simulator team have been super kind to me and great to work with. It’s impressive to drive the sim because it’s just so advanced, and I have been pushing to do more. It’s not enough for me to just sit on the side-lines, I want to be helpful wherever I can. Of course, it’s not the real thing and I would love to be driving the W14!

It's also been fascinating working with Lewis and George. It’s an interesting period for me as I get to look over and work with two fantastic drivers, which you don’t always get to do. I’ve learned a lot about what’s important in terms of approaching race weekends; I feel like I’ve already gained so much knowledge to add to my skillset. I didn’t think I would have learned and gained so much so early into my role.

As a driver, you usually do not get to hear what is going on between all the engineers while you are out on the track, so listening in during the sessions has been extremely interesting. I was quite shocked at the season opener in Bahrain, I did not expect the sheer amount of exchange that happens.

You don’t know what you’re missing until you are actually part of it. What I really appreciate in working with those engineers is that they are genuinely listening to you and your opinion matters, and what is special from an emotional side is that many people who are working for the Team now were working here when my dad was driving.

Whilst we’ve all been working hard, it’s important to keep a balance and get some downtime. I went out early to Australia and went surfing. I wouldn’t say that I’m a great surfer, but I have to say that I have come to love it and I feel it is not just for fun but also very helpful for training. Even at home in Switzerland I do a lot of surfing. Yes, this may sound strange when speaking of a country that’s not famous for its beaches, but we have a surf spot close to where I live.

It can’t beat the adrenaline rush of motorsport though and I’m excited to get back to Brackley and continue our work. We’re working through quite a lot of simulator sessions before the next race in Baku so we will do some virtual mileage and be pushing hard to bring performance to the car.

To finish my first diary entry, I wanted to speak directly to you, the fans. Thank you to everyone for the warm welcome to the Team, and for the support you’ve shown me. It’s no secret that I would, like any driver, love to be out there racing. My current role though is helping me grow and develop, which is great.

[goldendoodlerlockerlove]

I’m a huge Multishipper and find the merits of almost any Ship for Bob’s Burgers. I’ve seen so many good content for so many lovely ships!! Here are some of my favorites (and the blogs that produce the best content for these ships):

Tina/Josh is so underrated, in my opinion. The show did make it so they’ll never be canon (probably), and Josh didn’t get nearly enough screentime, but I think they’re adorable. I loved them so much in Linda-Pendant Woman, with Tina pulling a Prince Charming and trying to find who Josh’s bandaid belonged to. And their Fresh Feed kiss!! Tbh, I kind of ship them the most (please don’t come for me) and they’re super cute. But the show’s most likely not going to do anything else with them. They have a ton of potential, and I wish they spent more time fleshing Josh out as a character. If they had, this ship had the potential of being as good or even better than some of the other ships with Tina. I also definitely headcanon Josh as Bi. That boy is not straight in my opinion.

Tinimmy is such a classic, I adore it and all of the lovely content that @drawthethingdoppelganger and @jimmyjrsmusoems have put out. These two are the absolute Tinimmy Queens, so if you want Tinimmy content, go to their blogs immediately!! It helps that this ship is basically canon, and Jimmy Jr. is such an awkward dork 😭 He doesn’t know how to express his emotions, but he does care so much about Tina despite what some people say 😒 It’s so frustrating when people always put J Ju down because of one episode (V For Valentine-Detta). Yes, it was a jerk move, but he’s a flipping middle schooler!! And it wasn’t even that bad, anyway. And one bad move doesn’t erase all of the lovely things he’s done for Tina. Like finding her Barrecklace and saying it made him think of her?? Wanting to do a Sky Kiss with her?? Agreeing to go on a date to Pie in the Sky even though he’s not really a fan, and inviting her on a completely genuine date to Fro-Yo Mama?? Come on, these two are adorable. And they deserve a coffee date sometime if DT’s recent art is anything to go by. I also headcanon Jimmy Jr. as Bi sometimes and a heavily closeted Gay boy other times. It kind of depends how I’m feeling, pffffft. @br1ghtestlight has headcanoned him as Aro/Ace, and that’s a fun and valid interpretation too, but I usually feel as if he does have some sort of interest in Tina romantically. I’m not sure. I guess it depends??

Zekina is so cute even though I don’t ship it as much as the other two. Zeke wanting to take Tina on a date to the aquarium and then out for tacos is just so adorable!! But it always annoys me so much when people say that Zeke is obviously the better choice for Tina and is always nicer to her and always has her best interests at heart. Like, Zeke is a sweetheart, but he’s had his moments of not being great to Tina. He’s a teenager just like Jimmy Jr. He’s not obviously the better choice for her just because he suggested that date of tacos and touch tanks. Zekina is lovely, and I respect anyone who ships it and makes content for it. I definitely see the appeal. But people really need to stop coming for Jimmy Jr. Yes, I will keep yelling about this forever 😭 Anyway, if you want some of the best Zekina content, you must go to @theangrypomeranian’s blog right now. You should absolutely read Baby Steps!! I started it but haven’t gotten far because of the length, but everyone should go read it and support them!! @br1ghtestlight has also written a Tina and Zeke fic (though they might just be platonic there) that I still haven’t read yet, but everyone should go read that too.

Zeke/Jimmy Jr., aka Zesto (not sure if that’s their actual ship name, but it should be) is great. It has so much potential, and I ship it a ton. I tend to ship Tina/Josh and Zeke/Jimmy Jr. the most, not because of Jimmy Jr., but because those are the ships I just enjoy the most and I think have the best potential/chemistry. But plenty of other ships have lovely potential and chemistry too!! Anyway, these two can be read equally well as platonic besties, but them being together romantically intrigues me. It would be a ton of fun, I think. They would definitely be a chaotic couple, but a cute one. I mean, Jimmy Jr.’s reaction when he thought Zeke would start going to a different school?? He was so stressed!! And Zeke always wanting to wrestle with J Ju as a sign of affection? And agreeing to do things like help J Ju get a chicken nugget in his mouth? I love.

Genecadero is adorable and @dianadeadwing has made such cute artwork for them. Gene doesn’t have many ships, and I probably enjoy this one the most. It’s definitely a rare pair. Gene deserves a cute romance with a sweet partner!! It’s weird to me when people sometimes say that Gene is too young for that when the show already tried giving him a straight relationship with Courtney. Yes, they broke up, but still. The showrunners are clearly open to giving Gene a relationship. I love the idea Diana brought up of Peter not-so-subtly having a crush on Gene and Gene just not getting the hints. But I like to think he becomes super lovestruck and a super doting partner when he’s older.

I’m cheating and putting Gene/Alexis (I came up with a super cute ship name for them now now I can’t remember what it is ☠️ Does anyone want to help me come up with one??) on here, because I was like “Welp, if others don’t want to give Gene many ships, I’ll make one myself!” I’ve grown very attached to Alexis as an OC, and I’ve suddenly realized he has similarities to Alex 😭 I imagined them both as being voiced by Thomas Middleditch, their names are similar, and are both kind of nerds. But I think that’s where the similarities end. I definitely wanted Alexis to stand out as a character, and I think he’s still different enough from Alex. Anyway, I can’t help but talk about these two, they make my heart sing. I will never get tired of making content about them or just rambling about them like here.

Gene/Sasha is such a rare pair, and the enemies to lovers potential?? Amazing, actually 🤌🏼 If this ship wasn’t so rare, I think it would have Louigan potential, tbh. I love the idea of these two talking more and bonding, because let’s be real, Sasha is 1,000% not straight. Just look at him. Their ship also kind of reminds me of Dipcifica from Gravity Falls, with the rich kid potentially opening up and becoming a better person thanks to someone else’s influence. I just love a good Enemies-to-Lovers romance, and the potential they have for banter is immaculate.

Ahhh, Roudise (aka Louwheeze, which is an incredible ship name), is just the cutest thing on earth, I adore it. I love a good Friends-to-Lovers, and I think I just have them on the brain because of Roudise Week. They’re just adorable and basically canon like Tinimmy. I probably ship them the most?? They just make me happy. I love how Rudy brings out Louise’s softer side, and Louise helps bring Rudy out of his shell. Their friendship is precious, their potential romance even more so. I just have a lot of thoughts about these two, they make me happy. Also, Louise slapping Rudy after kissing him in Bob, Actually sends me every time. If you want some of the best Roudise content, go to @ltwharfy and @devilh0rnsinc. Their Roudise content is just so lovely!!

Louigan!! This ship is great too. I don’t understand why people who ship it get blocked. There’s so much potential there!! Again, Enemies-to-Lovers is one of my favorites. And their potential for banter?? Amazing. Incredible. No notes. If you want the best Louigan content, you must go to @babsvibes immediately. I started reading Stacy’s Cardamom, which is basically her Magnum Opus. I haven’t finished it yet, but it’s incredible and everyone should go read it. She’s truly the Louigan Queen and got me interested in this ship in the first place. And she was kind enough to invite me onto the Louigan Discord, which has been an absolute blast (even though I hardly share anything Louigan on there ☠️). I want to change that and make more Louigan content. I have a lot of ideas. Y’all better watch out if Louigan Week happens again next September 👀 Louigan Week was also amazing this year!! Everyone show Babs some love for running that incredible event.

Louissica is cute and has potential. I feel as if it’s quite similar to Roudise as a cute, charming Friends-to-Lovers. But Jessica just needs to appear more and be more developed as a character, because she just hasn’t appeared enough for me to have as many thoughts about this ship as all of the others I’ve listed so far. I loved them hunting for that Wharf Monster together, that was such a fun side plot. And them bonding at Louise’s sleepover when she’d driven everyone else away.

BOBLIN. If there’s a ship from this show I love the most, it’s Boblin, no contest. There’s a reason my very first ask to DT was Boblin-related. But I’ve rambled about them enough, so I’ll try to keep this short, pfffffft. They’re an example of a couple that’s as close to perfect that I’ve ever seen. They’re so sweet you’ll get a cavity, they’re domestic, and they’re ancient as hell muppets. What else could you want?? I love how their love stems not just from huge, loud, romantic gestures. It also stems from more quiet, subtle moments. Like Bob massaging Linda’s feet. Or Linda deciding to give Bob a quiet night in for his birthday, because she realized he’d enjoy that the most. Or Bob making her a heart-shaped pancake on Valentine’s Day. You get the idea. If you want the best Boblin content, then @jimmypesto is your girl. She’s written some of the best BB fics I’ve read, and the way she writes Boblin is unmatched. She’s such a talented writer, it’s insane. She’s also written a ton of Boblin smut, if that’s your thing!!

Frondbrose is wonderful. These two also have such good chemistry and banter, it’s insane. Their Enemies-to-Lovers potential is insane. I wish they were canon so bad. They definitely need to interact more. Mr. Ambrose showing his softer side for Mr. Frond is just so adorable to me!! This man would be the epitome of “I hate everyone, but I don’t hate you 😌” They make me all giggly. I can’t get enough. They’re definitely the type to have Hate Sex once and then deny it ever happened 🤣. But everyone would know the truth.

Tedmort is so cute and has so much potential. I love it. I think Teddy and Mort’s friendship is precious already, but a potential relationship between them?? The wholesomeness meter would be off the charts. They can be an ancient muppet couple like Bob and Linda!! Mort would treat Teddy 1,000% better than Denise, but tbh, anyone else would treat Teddy better than Denise. If you want Tedmort, then @keepyourhornson-spyro is the person for you!! They’ve written some lovely Tedmort fics that everyone should read.

Marshmallow/Nat has such potential, and there should be content about them!! It just seems like such a fun ship, and I think being with Marshmallow would help Nat get over her ex-girlfriend. These two also share a similar vibe of just coming and going as they please, and “being truly free” 😌 I still love that Marshmallow is canonically Trans and Nat is canonically a Lesbian. They’re wonderful.

Hemita is a canonical rarepair, which I didn’t think was possible, but here we are. I think they’re so cute and definitely good for each other. Susmita asking out Henry in Morse Code?? That was adorable. We need more moments of these two being cute. I love them.

Barryl is such a rare pair and has won me over so much. There’s just something that makes sense about these two being together that’s difficult to describe. There’s something so sweet about Becky being able to find love after being unlucky with Jimmy Jr. Darryl would be such a sweet boyfriend to her, and she would be such a sweet girlfriend in return. They would be so cute holding hands and listening to the Frozen soundtrack on repeat. Sure, to ship them, you need to ignore Rosa, but she was only in one episode anyway. I gotta shout out @theangrypomeranian again for basically creating this entire ship herself. Amazing.

Arnlee is such a gigantic rare pair it’s insane, and they’ve definitely won me over too. They’re so cute!! They’re just two socially awkward kids who would work really well together. They deserve to have some sort of side plot where they bond. I would love that. @devilh0rnsinc made the cutest art of these two together for @ltwharfy, and that was what officially won me over. That and @ltwharfy’s adorable fic about them which everyone should go read.

I might cut myself off there, because this post is insanely long. But it just goes to show how many lovely ships there are in this fandom. And they’re all valid. Seriously, can we please just respect each other and who we ship??

Anyway, there’s a little something for everyone in terms of ships, and I just love that so much. Everyone needs to check out all of the blogs I mentioned for some lovely content❣️They’ve also just been so sweet and welcoming towards me, I can’t stress that enough!!

[peachiecure]

A reflection on Project: Dimension (logo made by my friend Petal I’m so sorry your work is never actually getting used)

Hello everyone. I’m here to talk about a project that is now defunct. This will be a reflection/info post on what I have personally done for it. Project: Dimension (PD for short) WAS a group project between me and 3 other members, combining our precure fanseries together to form a crossover story with new and familiar characters. It was originally considered a Project SFA spinoff for some reason (looking back at it now, it is MUCH more precure than SFA so I don’t think this really stands anymore), and it was going to be told in comic format. To sum up the plot… Phantom, the god of death, summons the other villains to form a group to take down the precure for their own personal reasons. The precure join together to try to take them down… but a certain turn of events happens. Chaos ensures.

During the project’s beginnings on the platform we were using, the team created teasers, making it interactive with hidden clues so people could dig in and discover what the project is about. We ended up stopping the teasers when we found out only one person was actually trying to find the clues rather than a group of people… I’m so sorry Nitro😭😭 Please take care of yourself. I drew many things for these, some are pictured.

The majority of my work was art, of course, I did have a say in aspects of the story considering that the main character it was focusing on was indeed still my own, Larissa Frausto. Others that were from my projects included Pixelena (Larissa’s precure team’s crazy mascot alpaca), Princess Sweetheart and Dimentio. Yeah, the character choice from my stuff is honestly really funny looking back at it. Like how did Sweetheart and Dimentio get here?? I guess it doesn’t matter now. The main villain, Phantom, was also my own from a RP which was then adapted for PD, and let me tell you I HATE HIM. Like not even in a “oh he’s a good villain because everyone loves to hate him” way NO HE’S LIKE GENUINELY SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN MADE. His whole premise is built on a harmful stereotype, and I’m only acknowledging such things now because I have grown since then. Please do not let the teenagers cook sometimes because this… yeah please don’t make a yandere type character and PLEASE don’t make them a GOD. Please. Learn from my mistakes. On my knees BEGGING. Sadly, the whole project REVOLVES around this dynamic between Larissa and Phantom as the plot progresses and I think I don’t need to say where this was gonna go, so I’m just not gonna. It was beyond saving and thus the plug being pulled was for the best. I will enjoy the memories of the team working together, but canning the project was the right decision in the end. It does suck that I put in years of work for it to not go anywhere, but it is what it is.

The final thing I will talk about is Raguel’s old lore for PD. Well… all that I know of it anyways. Raguel in PD is still the god of life, but Phantom, then called Azazel, was like his little brother figure for many many years. Raguel deeply cared for him, even if Azazel was a bit… stoic and didn’t seem to understand emotions. Raguel also had a precure team of his own that he viewed as his daughters. But one day, something was going to happen and Azazel was going to like??— go against him or something… (I DONT ACTUALLY KNOW WE NEVER FINISHED) which then would have resulted in Raguel stabbing out his eye and Azazel killing Raguel’s whole magical girl team. Yeah. Then Azazel gets sealed away by Raguel for 700+ years and when he’s finally freed again, he’s the way you see him now as Phantom who has this BURNING hatred towards him and the precure which was his whole motivation. The prologue pages start when he’s finally freed from the seal… so yeah. I realize this project is a total departure from my usual bubbly stuff.

In the end, PD wasn’t going to affect any of my main project’s lore because it quite literally was going to be revealed at the end that none of it was canon and just someone’s fanfic. PD’s aspects that I liked are being used in other projects. Raguel has been moved to my new persona project, the comic format has been moved to tell SFA’s story now, and Phantom will stay 6 feet under!!! Everyone cheered!!! I want that twink obliterated. Anyways, I feel that I finally have closure on this and can move on so um… thank you for reading me ramble about this. I feel better. NOW TIME TO DRAFT THE NEXT SFA PAGES WITH BLUMIERE AND TIMPANI— (I am dragged away)

I think it is important to me to acknowledge this project and the work I’ve done for it, even if I don’t agree with content included in it now. As humans, we change and grow, and I’ve learned so much since the time this was originally made. Below are the prologue pages that I finished, the final bit of work I did. Thank you for your support.

[tubbytarchia]

Hi it’s love anon again I sent a few more of these and came back to yours and realised I wasn’t very specific and there is so many more cool things about you that I think deserve to be pointed out

First your most recent art genuinely such an amazing piece I didn’t realise that was you at first but oh my god. The detail in the fish and art is so impressive. And the colours look so good together and I love the way the paint strokes look. Also your line choice there is so devasting in such a beautiful way. I can’t describe what I love about it but god it’s amazing

My personal favourite art piece is probably Jimmy and Tango with their two kids. I love the way they while the Warden’s colours contrast everyone else it still manages to fit in the scene. And Jimmy and tango their are so cute. I love the festival you’ve put into their designs they are so clearly recognisable as who they’re meant to be. And their expressions show so much love to their kids it’s great. Also the chicken is really cute.

I love your whole Jimmy and Doc thing by the way. Not only is it the sweetest story I love that you have created something out of so few interactions. Clearly you care enough about these people and characters to create your own relationships with them. And create art out of it. That is such an amazing thing

Also someone called you the number 1 Jimmy understander one time and I have to emphasise how true that is. You know that character so well you can even predict how he would act around certain people. It’s clear that your really care about Jimmy and I think that’s so cool.

So ignore the hate anons they suck we’re here and we love you and what you create

(Also the only thing I personally disagree with is I don’t like commenting on if the teasing is funny from an out of character perspective personally cause I think it can be a little uncomfortable but it’s completely fair to express if you think it’s uninteresting or unfunny)

Sorry I took awhile to answer this cause I wasn't sure how to to express my gratitude in full but I don't think I can!! lol, but, awh... Thank you love anon, this means a lot to me and you remembering and calling back to a much older drawing of mine as your favorite really says a lot. If even a silly old drawing like that can stick in people's minds, that makes me really happy

I appreciate you agreeing with the Jimmy statement lol?? That is still such high praise but uwaah there's so many other great if not better Jimmy understanders if even ones that disagree with some of my opinions but still have very valid ones of their own y'know!! But I do care him a lot... my sweet cheese... and it always makes my day when anyone shows like towards the Jimmy&Doc stuff!! I'm so happy if people can see my vision even if it's very niche!!

Thank you again love anon and I appreciate you pointing out a disagreement too!! Thank you for going on this crusade to spread peace and love lol, combating hate with love is the best thing ever

[jen-with-a-pen]

If people aren't comfortable reblogging fics to their blog (which I am not, due to a personal history of being doxxed and humiliated to my irl friends and family), are comments sufficient enough engagement or would you rather that reader not engage with your work at all?

I feel like that came out sounding passive aggressive but I truly mean it as a genuine question and am just not sure how to rework it to sound less snarky! I see this discourse on and off from different fic writers and respect both opinions and think everyone should be able to curate interaction with their fics as they see fit.

Hi, anon.

I've been thinking carefully on how to respond to this. I can tell you're not trying to come off as snarky– which i say as someone who can't read tone for shit most of the time and whose own tone can come off aggressive or bitchy when I don't mean it to be.

I'm gonna address your ask as thoroughly as I can, if that's cool. Sorry if it's a long response. I'll put a cut in so I don't interrupt feeds ✂️

First, I want to pose a question to your question, which I mean genuinely with no spite whatsoever: why are you on Tumblr if you're not reblogging or don't even reblog?

As I've stated in other replies to the post I made a few weeks back, from the way I see it, Tumblr is literally built upon the foundation of sharing creations and content. There is no dead-set algorithm here like there is for Instagram or TikTok. Sharing is, quite fucking literally, caring here. We are able to form communities of all sizes because we share things. Reblogging is essential to the upkeep, and quite frankly the existence, of fandom and communities. Without sharing, our communities crumble and become ruins. We are actively seeing this as we speak: many mutuals and authors I follow are starting to quit writing due to passive, demanding consumption patterns and 0 engagement.

I know you probably know this, but I thought I'd restate it for answer's sake.

To answer the meat of your ask, I will pull from both personal experience and mutuals' experiences and input.

In my own personal opinion, if you are solely commenting on fics and are not engaging in anything else (no likes, no reblogs, etc.) then I personally think that Tumblr is not the site you should be on and, frankly, you should go sign up for AO3 if that's all you're going to do.

And I mean this earnestly. If all you want to do for engagement is commenting, then AO3 needs you because sharing does NOT affect authors nearly as much over there as it does here. In fact comments on AO3 are the literal equivalent to reblog on Tumblr: we don't get any and when we do it's like finding an oasis in a never ending desert.

Now in terms of what mutuals and other authors have said on the matter, it seems the consensus is that commenting without reblogging is a case-by-case basis. I'm going to quote a mutual of mine here:

"...if someone is commenting on my work but not reblogging… I'd say it's case by case. If it's just MY fics they aren’t reblogging, then it'd be a problem, but if they don’t reblog ANY [fics] I'd be more okay."

Another mutuals also put it this way:

"... I feel like there *is* both sides in this sense; yes comments are nice and engaging even though they aren't the preferred and most helpful way to boost writers..."

I feel like both of them put it into words where I struggled to. I will also say that I do agree with the point being that if you're not gonna reblog ANYTHING– no art, no content, no photos, no other fics, nothing– AND your profile adheres to the guidelines set forth in basic Tumblr etiquette (not looking like a bot and not a minor) then sure, comment away.

The verdict, in summary with my opinion and mutuals': it depends on your behavior and your interactions with other works and content.

I hate the word content but I couldn't think of another one.

But, my question still stands: why are you on Tumblr when you don't even participate in the basic fundamental function of this site?

I also wanted to take the time to address the other part of your ask regarding the doxxing and people finding out your identity.

It has been very widely known for (close to) two decades now that Tumblr is the place where you can have an anonymous identity. Truly. I've been on here for the collective half of the last decade and have been on the Internet for a little more than half my life, now, and Tumblr and fandom are literally the biggest and best places where you can be someone else. You can be completely anonymous.

The common denominator, however, is you.

The amount of information you have on your blog is what you choose to put on it. If you state your real name, your state and city, have one of those (imo stupid) carrd things or whatever, then honey– and I mean this in the nicest way possible, truly– that is on you. I know for a fact (from good and bad experiences) that you have all of the power in the world to annonymize yourself while still maintaining yourself on the Internet. That make sense?

A couple of mutuals made very excellent points regarding this:

"...I have a best friend irl who has Tumblr and is so close to the fandoms I'm in, and she doesn't know I write here. I am anonymous on here. I'm suprised she hasnt connected the dots because my aesthetics are the same in real life..."

"...I personally think its pretty easy to be anonymous on tumblr. Especially since usually all we ask is you have that you aren’t a minor at the top of your blog..."

"...it's really easy to be anonymous on the internet [...] you can be an ENTIRELY different person on the internet..."

From that last mutual, I'll paraphrase and go off of another point they made: the fact that you do want to participate and comment negates your ENTIRE arguement because someone– anyone– can find you and your blog through said comment(s).

Your digital footprint is what you leave behind. So if you have your city and state and grade and real name and all this other shit in your blog or carrd or whatever, then you are the only one who is responsible for having put said information out there.

Hell, I've been mutuals with some people going on 2-3 YEARS at this point and the only other things they know about me is my state, general city vicinity, my cat, and what I do for a living. That's it. And we span from early twenties to married with a kid or two.

We are in charge of what we share and I implore you– as someone with a certification in legal information technology– to please educate yourself on your Internet privacy and digital footprint. Please take the time to think about your actions and the information you have online. I STILL do this to this day, even after getting certified and being on the Internet for half my life.

I am sorry that you've gotten doxxed in the past. Truly, I am. It's a horrible act and I hope you never have to experience that again. Please know I am not being dismissive of that nor trying to blame you for said acts.

But it all comes down to you at the end of the day. In general, it's you, your actions, and the consequences of your actions. And if you happen to be a minor, then I strongly urge you to rethink your decisions and maybe step away from social media and utilize critical thinking in order to asses your situation and who you surround yourself with, both online and offline. I wish I had someone to tell me that when I was 14– fuck, even when I was 18.

And I mean it when I say AO3 might suit you more than Tumblr. If any fandom site has more capabilities to be anonymous than Tumblr itself, it's AO3.

Anyways, I think that's all I have to say for you. My DMs and ask box are always open and I am open to more commentary on the matter and related ones so long as it is civil and respectful. I refuse to stop having this conversation.

Thank you for listening ❤️

[randomfoggytiger]

Typing: INTPs In Their Own Words

A short while ago, I created a Mulder Typing post explaining why he's an INTP (not INFJ/INFP); and, while I was compiling notes, I collected some comments from INTP users and stashed them away in a document. While going back through to get inspired for a future post (whatever that will be), I found them again; and was struck with a brilliant idea: why don't I simply post them in full so that everyone can read INTP thoughts/processes in their own words? There are many flavors of INTPs (since Typing is just a system showing how the brain processes information, not a personality box you have to stuff people into-- the old Nature vs. Nurture dynamic)-- perhaps you'd be interested in what they have to say?

There's a lot of good, some bad, and a little ugly; but we need a full picture to see these good souls for who they are~.

(Shoutout to my INTP mutual @baronessblixen! She mainly inspired this post for me~.)

**Note**: I will try to translate the technical terms as I go along (since they are mostly referring to Typing terminology and processes), so don't worry if the comment doesn't make much sense at first! :DDD

And now-- in no particular order-- here they are on their own terms!

""Why bother... Why do I even bother?.... Why would anyone care?...." The mantras of the INTP"

""They are legitimately worried that other people in the world are stupid."" As an INTP, I genuinely started to have that worry when I started noticing that my former classmates are holding executive jobs. As for fashion sense, I used to let my mom buy my clothes until late high school. But in the past 10 years or so and probably due to my ENTJ sister's influence and my interests in arts I started to develop a bizarre wardrobe. It had mellowed down a bit but I still get "that looks cool but I'd never do it myself" comments."

"I’m an INTP and the telling the same story over and over again is definitely a thing. But I don’t do it because I don’t remember having told it that person, usually. I’m usually the one who remembers everything I’ve ever said to someone, or heard from them in response in unreasonable amounts of detail. And then, over time, no one else remembers our conversations as well. So I start telling the same story I like telling, assuming that either they don’t remember hearing it, or if they do, they’ll stop me and say they remember me telling that one."

"The Ni critic explains why i can never decide on an acedemic/career path. Afraid of not choosing the wrong path or not being able to contribute anything new/novel/inovative to the field. But desperately wanting to prove to the world our brain has some thing significant to contribute but afaid of failing"

"Ti is logic and it’s basically what the individual believes is true or false. Like me, for example, if this is truth and this has to be true, basically, if this-then this, constantly." 

"My INTP younger sister is exactly like this [easily exploited]. I hate when she lets peope use her at a door mat. I've dated many INTPs as an INTJ female and really really love the dynamic. But how do I cultivate "immoveability" into the INTP? Personally, my own views are what matter to me, but I find INTPs to almost be too flexible (if that makes sense). One of my exes used to get taken advantage so much it caused me to question his love for himself. I love my sister and obviously want wants best for her, how do I give her some of the INTJ "immoveability" to be less of a door mat?"

"So I’m an INTP but I don’t feel like I’m nowhere near brilliant. I now understand why I always felt so different from everyone else. I understand stuff easier than most but I have to break it down and reiterate to myself. I also did poorly in school until last 2 years of college.... I also have a hard time putting my words together or finding the right thing to say or word to use."

"As a INTP I hate jobs with hierarchy. The idea that someone with a lesser mind will be in charge of me will irritate ... me. At the same time I don't want to be the boss either, the idea of having to baby sit lesser minds will also irritate me lol. The person in charge in my opinion has to be highly intelligent, because that is the only time ill accept it because then I feel like I actually have something to learn from that person to further my own knowledge and the position they have is actually justified in my head."

"In my opinion, INTPs "inevitability" stems from their pessimistic functions, both in the ego and the shadow. The sharp Ne [Me: the fate of all humanity, not just one's own path forward] parent with how responsble it is with its forsight combined with the Fe [Me: human interconnection and emotional outreach] in aspirational mode can provide the most efficient choices for anyone to be better. While their shadow reinforces with  using their will with Ni [Me: personal future and fate, the path one creates forward for oneself] critic and principles with Fi [Me: personalized morals and beliefs] demon/angelic to give structure and brings things to reality to what they foresee."

"I’m an INTP, and can tell you in all honesty that we view forgiveness very differently than all the other types. Forgiveness is but something that you acquire, but in fact more of a gift. You either have it, or you don’t"

"MBTi type claim that they’re INTPs and use it as a crutch to not get anything done or not to go anywhere in life. To be honest, that’s not how that works. INTPs just get too comfortable, and really the only way to motivate an INTP or an INFP because they have Si child is to just make them uncomfortable, and to pull them out of that behind the scenes realm. So, in general respect the behind the scenes, but if they’re not growing as people, if they’re not becoming better human beings, be prepared to pull them out of the behind the scenes, be prepared to expose them, because it’s the only way they will grow. They only understand pain. It’s kind of like those people who have to hit rock bottom before they ever grow up, right?" 

"[Me: Context-- INTP's Nemesis makes them want to question everything, even if they like the information they're given; but often ther Si Child doesn't want to get out of their comfy routine to actually fact check it.] The nemissis thing is funny because as I watched this (and just about everything else I have some experience with) I thought "yeah you seem to have a good grasp of this, but if I had time..." and then I moved on, my inner critic was appeased."

"It doesn’t mean that we should be labeling them hermits or these people who are not good with human beings, etc. Especially INTPs, people are just not as much of a priority to them, because they’re too busy playing with their metaphysical systems. You know, it’s like a big toyland universe that they have access to, mentally, that they’re able to use their thinking models and solve problems. Life to them is a giant puzzle box. Let them play with their puzzle box. They really need that."

" I was talking recently with an INTP mother, who’s actually very good at type, and she trained her son or her daughter, I don’t remember which … But she’s married to an ESTP and they go to church and get involved in church events, and she’d be extroverting in her unconscious or her subconscious side of her mind at that point, and then all of a sudden, she’s like tapped out of energy and she just has to completely disappear and people are like, “Where did she go? Where did she go?” And you’ll find her in a corner where there’s like nobody but her, literally doing nothing but playing puzzles. That’s just how INTPs are."

"Whereas Ne users are very beautiful, they just like to be told by the Ni user what they should do, right? Because the Ni users connected to extraverted sensing and then the Ne users able to be like, okay, “Well I should do this because that’s what you want,” right?” That’s how it works. [Me: Meaning-- Ni users are more focused on what they want/their path forward; and Ne users are less focused on those areas, and are chill if Ni calls most of the shots as long as their opinions/voices are heard.]"

"Fe [Me: INTPs] users want to feel valued, not be source of value. [Me: Meaning-- they don't want to be the stereotypical male bird in a mating ritual dancing and making a big fuss. Others can do that to make them feel valued; but that's not how they show someone that they love, value, or care about them.]"

"Growth and self improvement has always felt to me to be an illusory concept. Obviously we change based on experiences but you can never predict if the experiences you are about to experience are going to lead to being "better" than you were. And what constitutes better? This is the philisophical black hole an INTP like myself can get stuck in when it comes to wanting anything."

"My Fi Demon is a really sharp and brutally honest critic that tells the object of my anger everything that makes them wrong. It’s often followed by guilt, even though I’m only speaking the truth without applying any filter."

"I think with INTPs if they are smart taking the initiative to learn from self help books or if they grow   up in a family and environment that constantly challenges them, it's more about learning what to avoid after repeated experiences of getting burned. I learned about physical pain through sports starting at a young age thanks to my father and social anxiety, dealing with it head on in sports locker rooms, taking toastmasters classes to become a good public speaker, approaching people in cold approach sales etc. So I have the ability to tolerate pain if needed but also have the knowledge on what to stay away from because I've experienced it repeatedly and already know the outcome." 

"I definitely wish my parents had been strict with me. When I asked them for advice, they told me they had no advice to give, and that I should do whatever I want to do. I support myself now, but I spent 10+ years aimless, living off of them. I would have built more useful skills, self-respect, confidence, and better values if they had guided me towards a career and a normal lifestyle. I will definitely give my kids an ultimatum to move out and support themselves for at least a year at age 18, but also will give loving guidance and provide a sense of how to live rather than a liberal attitude of laissez-fair parenting."

"those INTPs, you know, driving their car, they’re like the old man driving their cars, you know what I mean, or the old woman, taking their jolly sweet time, you know, not really in a hurry, I’m never in a hurry. I make sure there’s enough time in my day scheduled, so I can take my time on the road, and [others], you know, cuss at me, honk their horns at me, you know" 

"I agree with you about the subconscious part of INTP. We do care about our loved ones. But if we KNOW that they’re not going to listen, why would we bother?"

"hero of the INTP is a little different. It is Ti hero, logic comes first, they can see into the future of other people, but they do it from a more responsible, a pessimistic point of view." 

"I know that although I always had a real hard time falling in-love and develop strong feelings for a guy, I didn’t have any difficulties being committed and loyal. I know that as a female INTP, it takes lot to decide on a lifelong partner, but once that decision is made, I am fiercely loyal"

"Sometimes, as an INTP, I feel like that I actually am a really-really bad person. I think that I'm actually a psycho, but now I know the reason. When my father died 7 years ago, I remember it was a cold night, my families were grieved, my mother was cried hysterically and so my big brother. Instead, I did not feel anything atm, my aunt kept telling me that my father Infront of me already died but I still didn't feel anything. I was thought that it just a phase of human life and everyone will die eventually, until my brother yelled at me 'What are you doing? It's our father who died!!!' So tried so hard to cry, I didn't even know if that was a real cry or not. And when everyone was still grieving, I decided to sleep so maybe tomorrow I would get my feeling and start to grieve. But after several weeks, I started to think that I don't have my father anymore, the one who was always love me no matter what I did, then finally I can feel my lost and start to cry sincerely. Don't be like me my fellow INTP friends, feeling is important. Don't be so full of logic in those important moments and just blend in. Have a good day!"

"Most of time I have to outsmart myself to not smoke weed, lay in bed, play video games, watch movies and rather go to work instead. Getting out of the comfort zone, nah rather, throwing myself out of the comfort zone is so crucial for me. It completely changes my mindset and pushes me towards growth."

"I'm an INTP. I was married to a very abusive man and had spent 8 years trying to make up my mind as to what I was going to do about it. I went to work one day with a black eye and a co-worker said "if you don't leave him I'll call CPS and then your kids will be taken away" (whether she would have done it or not, idk). That forced me to make the decision to leave and take me out of my "comfort zone". It was the best thing that someone has ever done for me."

"I loved when you talked about wisdom being harsh and "fire". Yeah turns out telling someone "here's the harsh truth about what you're doing wrong, just stop doing it and you'll be fixed" doesn't go over well with most folks. As a teacher, I could absolutely tell how kids were going to turn out due to their parents' behaviour (if the parents were too accepting, the kids would end up helpless; if the parents were too inconsistent, the kids would be unreliable as well etc.) But would I bother telling this to parents? No, of course not, no one likes to be told they're parenting wrong, no one would listen to advice from me, a childless professional with years of experience. Sigh."

"Society appreciates ignorance rather than wisdom."

"I am an INTP. As an ex-smoker it was really hard to stop smoking cigarettes I tried everything but I just couldn't. It was frustrating to me that there is something controlling me. That was [eating away at] ... my brain.I found a book called the easy way to stop smoking on Reddit recommended by ex-smokers. I read it I stopped in a week. Now I'm 8 months clean. I distributed the book to all the people i know who smoke ligit the whole uni. No wants to read the book they think they won't stop they don't believe me. People don't like to take advice people just don't care. This makes me sad."

"It's scary how accurate this is. I almost feel called out for my ways of thinking. In typical INTP fashion I hate being predictable so it's weird to see someone get something this spot-on"

"I see these personality types like INTP as a starting point for personal development and not as a destiny. For example I try to be the one who kicks me out of the comfort zone instead of being dependent on someone else to do that."

"When he said people will hate you and alienate you because you always think your right and come off as arrogant but you usually are right which makes them hate you more. My whole life summed up and yet I never understood why it seemed people had an aversion to me when I had the best intentions. Now I know"

"[Me: Context-- this poster is not an INTP, but has a lot of Fe users in their family. Further context: INTPs are Fe users] I have a family with, I think, a lot of Fe functions. I mean, it does get overwhelming as time progressed and I feel like I'm being gaslighted not being as normal as them, but I can handle it, yes. But the repeating part is just so true. My mom and dad like to repeat stuff as they say it i.e "Don't forget to bring them. Don't forget to bring them. The bag for grandma. Okay ? Don't forget to bring them."

"This was really interesting to watch. I feel that my Trickster Ne is worse because of my Asberger's, it's much harder to interact with people and be aware of my surroundings. Interacting with people and understanding them can be completely exhausting and draining. Weirdly, I find it incredibly hard to predict people, but when I do, it's scarily accurate. My husband, an ISFP, gets so frustrated that I'm "always right". He does have to push me to do things, too. LoL. He, as you said, doesn't give me options but just tells me to stuff, and I do it, kicking and screaming the whole way. :P"

"I am lucky to have a mom that appreciate me and tells me about it quite often, which is very good-feeling, but if she thinks that I'm getting too lazy, she'll be sure to make a move. Really happy to have her in my life."

"I have always had zero fashion sense and 'sloppy' with messy hair is my default look. To help me understand the art and science of dressing right, I have been studying the Kibbe body type system and seasonal color analysis for awhile now, and it was a great starting point. I ended up going really deep into it (like I would any other science), adding my own theories to it. I'd analyze and type friends and family, giving them fashion advice with great accuracy. As for myself, I still look sloppier than ever. Ugh. It's the shopping I hate. And I am too attached to my large comfy hoodies. I need to change lol. I mean, I am an attractive woman otherwise, and I'd like to settle down in the near future. Dressing like a 17 year old boy who lives in his mom's basement certainly isn't helping".

"As an INTP I get stuck in familiar and safe logical pattern loop, caused by my own thinking. On top of that I choose to endure that pain of not taking a risk, being open to risk and taking risk causes me anxiety. Not knowing what to want scares me even more cause i can see the logical fallacy of will and desire with its shortsighted-ness, which causes me further to retreat to my safe routine which i'm willing to endure cause its familiar or obligatory, not taking risk. Its like the saying 'paralysis by analysis', invoking fear and anxiety to risk taking."

"So, I am INTP and also a Psychology student. It's a little bit tiring explaining that I don't want to make therapy. I just want to follow the investigation path and well... they all just say then why did u choose Psychology- and then I am like bcs I WANTED TO KNOW HOW WE WORK. Sad hours... lol"

"I'm not afraid other people are stupid.  I'm afraid they'll misunderstand, which is a slightly different Te nemesis manifestation because that misunderstanding is a HUGE threat to everything I do and it happens a lot.  Also, I can be very ascetic.  Wants are difficult for me.  You put that on the Si child function but I really think it comes from the critic and the blindspot acting in tandem.  Because Se trickster doesn't just mean I bump into stuff.  I barely even recognize material reality.  Like it actually [angers] me ... sometimes that I have to have a physical human body. I don't really understand the necessity of this skin suit.  But as long as I've got it I may as well make it comfy right?  So, I'm off to play PUBG and get some of that dopamine we love so much". 

"As an intp I always felt like I could tell what people were going to do, but until now I never rlly figured the word used to describe it, I always just used the phrase i can read people better in certain situations but I never rlly felt socially adequate like others"

"Yeah... The best way to tick off an INTP is to know what peeves us, but do it anyway... We can tolerate a little, but one second past our timer(and you can't really ever know how long it will be at any given time), our patience will burn away FAST. The better we think you know us(<the "we think" is usually the reason it can seem to come out of the blue), the less tolerant ... we become. Our patience with strangers can be enormous(sometimes ridiculous or un-called-for), but those who we expect to be on our side are expected to know better(whether or not they understand that)... edit: typos"

"[Me: Context-- This is referring to an INTP being uncomfortable about being asked to talk about their innermost feelings casually.] As an INTP female, I have to say this was quite accurate :D I especially appreciated ''Never, ever ask and INTP how they feel! '' I would add, never give an INTP the advice "follow your hart". It makes zero sense to me :D"

"I'm an INTP, here's a little anekdote: When i was younger my dad often went out with me and my brothers to a lake and just relax in the evening before going to bed. So i was like 8/9/10 (dont know exactly) and before going there me and my brother had a discussion, about who is going to sit in the front seat in the car. We said he will sit there on the way to the lake and i will sit there on the way home. But when we wanted to go home, my brother switched into: "No, i am older than you and therefore its my right to choose the seat". We had a little fight and basically i was like: "Okay, ... i am out of here", so i just quit and walked about 15km into the little town where my grandparents lived, because - u know - at grandma's house everything is always fine :). My dad was searching for me, driving around and even thinking about calling the police..because i said NOTHING.. i was just gone I am 22 now and still i have some problems communicating my actions in terms of just leaving the situation. I am always thinking: "U dont have to care about me, you are fine as well so i dont have to care about you...so where is the problem?""

"I don't think an INTP forgets that he told the story already, I believe he tells the story he thinks about because it makes him feel better to talk about it. It's a selfish reason really, but I'm guilty as charged."

"i used to know this intp (i believe) friend. you are extremely on point... extremely. this guy was a red haired nerd who made me laugh harder than anyone i've ever met. i used to be amazed with his casual novel acumen. he often had me crying in laughter in class. he was a huge story teller (stories told over and over). i used to throw him random verbal stimulus (just throw ideas his way) to see his reaction. this man had, literally, zero friends in school (other than me) and i was generally considered somewhat popular and i would regularly leave larger popular groups of others to be around him for his insane entertainment value. he regularly called me a, "... idiot," which made me laugh every time (he would be dead serious when doing this). oh, and btw, i had to beg him to hang out with me when he did... to know how strange this is, you just have to know our situation i guess (like i said, i had the extreme social upper hand that he didn't care about)... anyway, he knew a bunch of small anarchist type knowledge like what would happen if you did these strange things like stick gum wrapper in a socket, rob places in particular ways; it was wildly interesting. the lack of attention he got from others baffled me because he was so unique and extraordinary in my eyes. i was always intrigued how his mind worked. it was intimidating being around this guy with so much street wisdom and casual ability to function flawlessly when he felt like it. ...he's now a pothead (smokes 4 times a day). he did earn a casual master's degree in psychology that he doesn't do anything with. if i smoked like he did, i would fail classes in days. he had a 4.0..."

"I was once told at 26 that I was too old to still be wearing “Sarcastic Tees” from Spencer’s like a 14 year old boy and should be wearing grown men clothes like a respectable member of society. I conceded to wearing flannel button up shirts over those tee shirts. May have been the best criticism that I ever received, because I’m often told how mature I dress now at 32... I guess not a lot of men these days look mature?"

"You just described my dad in 2 functions Ti= Super logical man. Loves motors and electricity. Thinks everybody's an idiot (Shadow Te) Si= Tells the same story a million times not knowing he told the story to the same person the last week. And the week before, and the week before. I've seen it. He doesn't know he's done it. 3 Sundays in a row he told the same story to the same man."

"Back when I graduated high school I skipped the ceremony. My family thought I was crazy and I was like, "so what, almost everyone has a high school diploma. Doesn't mean you're smart.""

"I had an INTP supervisor & his assistant is ISTP, they're brilliant with everything you've stated, but I think I was great at my office manger job & they were unsupportive with some changes I wanted to make. I was trying to create a more positive, supportive experience for our staff & clients by getting rid of [awful] staff. He agreed to fire 1 of the people I was adamant about, but ended up changing his mind (he can be a coward). At my last meeting with him he told me he appreciates me (but it pained him to do it) and I was very valuable to the program, so he does have a heart somewhere. He also said he was critical of me & other leadership staff, to help us. I let him have it. I'm not tolerating that .... He wanted to control everything, even from behind the scenes. He needs puppets and I wasn't going to be that. He is arrogant & 2-face. In front of clients & staff he pretends to be kind, behind their back he talks [badly about them]. He is also overly dependent on the istp too, when she leaves, he is [a goner]. Not a good match for me at all lol"

"[Me: Context-- INTPs are very chill until you ignore their warnings over and over and ruin their own life by extension.] I lost it when you described the Vegeta level tantrums.... So many flashbacks to grabbing the closest thing I could find and straight up hurtling it at someone's (my brother's) head."

"My first and to this day only experience in isfp super ego [Me: Meaning-- INTPs are their angriest/in a rage was, when my mom confronted me the morning before school that I didn't gave her an super important school letter the days before, so she wouldn't sign it that morning, I really thought I would need it this day (later I heard we would need it 2 days later, but I didn't know this at this moment) I saw my future and honor to the teachers and from the teachers breaking away, so let's get to the rage part, I ran into my bedroom and by mistake pulled the door 1meter away from where it should have been (it was ripped out those things which hold the door). That was a really shocky moment for me, because I thought I would have me under controle in such situations, but obviously I didn't."

"you nailed it why care when ppl don't want to know they hate you for caring"

"INTP here. As far as food goes, super adventurous and familiar at the same time. I'll try anything once, and if I like it I can eat it all the time. If I don't, I'll get the priciest/highest rated version I can to make sure it wasn't just the chef/ingredients."

"I'm a female INTP. I'm always so deep into my head that someone can be right beside me and I don't notice them. When they start talking to me, It startles me out of my head. There have been times when I have actually let out a slight scream. I usually get puzzled looks when I try to explain that I was deep in thought and didn't notice them."

"I'm an INFJ living with my boyfriend that is an INTP, and I had to laugh at some of your points because they're so accurate! This man is miserable [in] a suit!"

"I'm INTP and I'm trying to not stagnate, it's pretty weird, because it's seems easier to be moving than to start moving, so yeah moving is worth it I understand that logically, but that's not internalized and I just have incredible difficulty at starting to move forward, or even continue that without external help."

"i'm a intp, i love math, learning about things at school that are actually useful in my life, and the things that are not useful in my life i find it really hard to concentrate on."

"In school we had an art project once to do without the teacher. Just written instructions. I felt like I had understood what was asked and told my classmates. But they thought differently (in a actually wrong way). After ten minutes of pointless arguing I just left them where they stood and started doing my picture. I was practicly the only person who had time to finish. And I was the only one in my class that has understood the instructions correctly. In fact, this project had such bad results that the teachers didn't let it count for the grades. My whole class got Es and Ds while I got a B+. I got to keep the grade and dump another bad grade of mine."

"Used to think I was kind of a feeler and extroverted. Then I stayed alone over Covid... I invented a cure for aging and developed a new species of fish. I think I'm definately INTP. Absolutely nobody believes me, so I know that I must be one!"

"When I first saw the board, I saw Fe, Ti, Si and Ne. And literally it screamed out Iron, Titanium, Silicon and Neon."

"Although I’m not certain I am An INTP( I cannot figure it out!), the “everybody is stupid part” got humbled in me when I entered the oilfield workforce. I grew up with the idea that tradespeople are dumb, and if you aren’t university educated, you won’t be successful. After seeing firsthand that absolutely is not the case, and oftentimes we are struggling with the engineers( Usualt INTP) lack of foresight on their projects implementation. We also have this theoretical framework I use to learn how our plant works, but oftentimes it’s experience and outside the box thinking that operates the plant on a day to day basis. The framework is merely a framework, and reality is usually way different. Paper to implementation is never perfect. Tradespeople in my opinion are far more brilliant than those educated in our institutions and I find myself side by side with teachers, economists and the like. Something I didn’t mention was The humbling part for me was how stupid I was mechanically entering the work force. Able to explain complex plant processes but unable to drain a vessel to prepare for isolation( this is similar to how intps can become good cooks or drivers, by just doing it, million dollar concept eh??). I dedicated myself to doing things on my own like following manuals and YouTube videos for vehicle repairs and performing them myself. I am catching up to rest of my peers and once my working memory and mechanical ability are good, with my abstract ability I’ll be a very good plant operator."

"I’ve stopped doing it, now that I mostly eat lunch at home, but I had a habit of ordering only one dish in each restaurant I went to. My order was always the same, only the type of food changed. So, the waitress would see me and just put in my order. It was very efficient, I reasoned, no need to suffer through the ordering process every day. I wonder if they resented me for it or liked it."

"INTP's: say something that's obvious and really simple to us. ------------others:why are you so mean? ------INTP's: did you say something? ----Others: ...! ----- INTP: shrugs and goes back to absorbing information like a sponge."

"I am an INTP, but I don’t experience a lot of the apathy problems, mostly due to a dad that understands my needs. Also I understand the inferiority/ superiority paradox and constantly try to underestimate myself (still fail to see long term thinking in the majority of people) and try to give credit where credit is due"

"INTP female here; pretty accurate, feeling attacked lol used to be called ice princess as a child. my friends used to call me robot so when my [personality test] came out saying that INTPs are robots, my friends had a lot of fun with that."

"What would you say would be the cause for an INTP with a very messy apartment? I have a few things even from my high school days that haven't thrown away and I'm in my fifties. Also have trouble making decisions of what mail to throw away. Apartment at least navigable but not using nearly all the space that's available..."

"I have anger instead of apathy/indifference. I - or rather my Si - has gotten seriously tired of seeing the same mistakes happen constantly & their repercussions constantly affect my life too, so I can't bear to see people in my life make a similar mistake one more time; thus, I snap & I have to vent...."

"Don't fall into the trap of ignorance for Ti users: last known input or preferred input will make your Ti useless. You have to test and experiment with every opinion or premise, even if you disagree with them."

"A note on my physical environment: (I’m an intp) I do tend to set things down without even thinking about it, it’s like there’s a hidden part in my brain that decides when i want to put something down, and my body just does it, completely unaware. and since i don’t notice it, i can’t even consider whether the place i am setting the thing will lead to struggle in the future."

"[Me: Context-- Here's a rare 'brutally honest' INTP] I’m a woman who’s an INTP, and it’s definitely lonely lol I’m always correcting people, if what they are saying is false. I get told that most people don’t want to be corrected, and find it offensive. Which makes no sense to me. So I’m just rather indifferent when it comes to people. Same with advice, I’m brutally honest when people ask for my opinion/advice. They usually don’t accept it, and wonder why their situation didn’t turn out right"

"My fear of feeling like people around me are dumb have been quenched by my little brother being an ISTP, my mother being wise and my grandmother being an utter genius. If there are three intelligent people around me already there will be more. You will just have to find them and build networks of trust with people humble and knowlegable in their field. Edit: I had an emotional talk with my mother because I agree with my father (even tho his reasons are unknown) that my mother should stop funding my studies. Why? Because I feel like I need an incentive to do something, and I do nolonger want my father to have any authority to say anything to me. Just finally after 21 years to actually become a somewhat independent adult. I know I will always survive, but I am really stagnating."

"As a true INTP , i listened this while playing Sims 3 creating an INTP character , with music turned off while drinking coffee at 12:23 night. 10/10 would listen again. Anyway , i feel like only stupid people are repeating the same story over and over again. I have a rule , if i like a new person and we get close i use my crazy ... stories to "flex" and get close , but only one time. In fact if a person it's telling me the same story three times , im done, i send him/her to the "lame people zone"."

""Wisdom is like fire, it's truth. You gotta get burned in order to get closer to the truth."" THANK YOU. That was beautifully said."

AND LASTLY: INTPs who can't seem to pick a calling in life-- below is some advice (from Person B Person E, and Person F), commiseration, and soothing words of wisdom-- most INTPs change their jobs or career paths regardless because of their fluctuating interests!

Person A: "I am worried to pick my specialization. I dont know what to choose. I am interested in so many things and then i move on. Example: I love art, been going to extra curricular art class since childhood and we would try all different techniques. Even now when i do something, i am interested in it (sewing, knitting, editing photos, felting, clay modelling) and it never sticks long enough to become "proficient" in it, i do it just long enough to get the basics. I am using art or hand work techniques as an example, it is a hobby not a profession I wish to pursue..."

Person B: "Compare all interests, which one of them you stick to the longest and excites you the most. Use a scoring scale & hierarchy to compare so that it is easier to analyze. And then, refer to your Fe, of all those, which one would be the most beneficial to the society. Narrow down to 2-3 choices (you know it's hard to make one choice) and try exploring them (i.e take actions) to further make distinction which one is feasible for you to specialize in (I mean realistically). I was at one time that it is possible to me to choose any career path I want to, from medicine to architecture, from art and design to computer engineering. Just like in the video, a naive INTP decided not to choose because he knew people in those field and didn't feel like really great about them and thought it didn't feel too worthwhile to take on a path to be like them. I ended up compromising my specialization and chose a subjectively easier course just because I could continue learning other fields and I did learn them. Though right now, I didn't 100% regret my choice back then as I aspire to do integration of fields rather than traditional specialization, I didn't see any problem if I did choose one of the famous career path earlier and I might feel as fulfilling as I'm now but in different departments of fulfillment."

Person C: "I’m going through the same thing. I’ve completed my bachelors in science and I work as a youth worker... but I also want to be an author. In fact, it’s always been a passion but I’m just now realizing that. But I’ve also developed a passion in research while doing my undergrad so I’m wondering whether or not to pursue my masters since that might lead me to a more sustainable career"

Person D: "Everyone I Know: You are so gifted. You could literally be anything you wanted be without even trying. Just pick something. Me:.......There are so many options, but are any of them worth it. I fail to commit to one area of study and let years go by without moving forward in life."

Person E: "I think society puts so much pressure on what you're gonna do "for the rest of your life" and "it has to be the perfect fit FOREVER". Unfortunately it never works out like that, people change and you change, and you won't be the only person who will likely want to change careers later on in life, and that's ok. From what you wrote, it seems like you are more on the 'create and make' side of things, and I find that really cool, and I also think the best step forward would be to force yourself to stick to something and build it up a bit, after a while you'll find yourself comfortable with where you're at and you can either go to something else (creative jobs have lots of transferrable skills and you'll probably be very good at them if you wanted to) or stick with whatever you choose because it's now your new comfort zone Something that helped with my indecisive nature is reading a quote, basically: time will pass anyway, so might as well be a year in the future with a step forward towards a specific something than nothing at all."

Person F: "I struggled with this one for a bit at university when I found what I originally thought was the perfect profession that would blend everything together (medical illustration). I went to a school with a weak art program, wanted to transfer after the first year and felt guilty about starting something and not finishing it. I graduated with the degree but didn’t finish the art program. convinced a counselor to let me skip classes. Since I wasn’t at the level I needed to be 3 years ago, I changed my goal and decided to hold this one off until I’m way older. Do something for a few years then switch off when you’re ready for that next experience!"

WELP.

That's all for now!

If you want, I'll make another post in future-- maybe more INTPs, maybe some ISTJs (for Scully representation, post here~.)

Thank you for reading--

Enjoy!

Disclaimers: This is a self-assessed analysis. This information is not based on the abominable MBTI system (which has been butchered from its original Jungian typology since ~WWII); instead, it’s a combination between the works of Jung’s type psychology, Dr. Linda Berens’ Communication styles, Dr. Dario Nardi’s EEG brain scan compiled research, and others’ data and practices as compiled and simplified by CSJoseph. This system is based only on the Nature side of Nature/Nurture; and each “type” is not a “box” to fit everyone into– simply a tool to help understand the basics of the human mind that science has only begun to fathom in its limited scope.

[ummick]

Mick’s Diary: Life as an F1 Reserve Driver

It’s been a hectic three months for our new Reserve Driver, Mick Schumacher. From plenty of simulator work to marketing appearances… and a little surfing in between! In this new series, Mick will be sharing his thoughts, feelings, and experiences throughout the year. First up, Mick discusses his first days at Brackley, what it’s like working with Lewis and George, plus a message for the fans.

Hi everyone and welcome to my diary! Over the season, I’ll be keeping you up to date with how we’re progressing trackside and at the factory, and some insight into what I get up to away from racing. So, here’s my first entry. Since I joined Mercedes, I’ve been settling in great. Everybody is just so open-minded towards me, and that made me feel welcome from the first moment I stepped into the factory in Brackley. I’ve spent a lot of time there in these first months. It’s a very impressive facility. I visited it back in 2014 as a young driver and was even sneaking in the simulator then, but everything is a lot bigger now than it was then! It is a state-of-the-art facility, very impressive in how things are structured and how every detail is thoughtfully taken care of. I’m still getting used to the level of preparation that you see here, and I am trying to soak up as much information as I can. Also, there’s still a lot of people I haven’t met but it’s been fun getting to know as many colleagues as I can. My main focus up to now has been working in the simulator. Because I have raced a car under this new set of regulations, I have a good understanding of how to drive them. That has helped me in my role so far and hopefully added value for the Team. I will look to be an extra pair of eyes and resource to help with the development programme across the year. The simulator team have been super kind to me and great to work with. It’s impressive to drive the sim because it’s just so advanced, and I have been pushing to do more. It’s not enough for me to just sit on the side-lines, I want to be helpful wherever I can. Of course, it’s not the real thing and I would love to be driving the W14! It's also been fascinating working with Lewis and George. It’s an interesting period for me as I get to look over and work with two fantastic drivers, which you don’t always get to do. I’ve learned a lot about what’s important in terms of approaching race weekends; I feel like I’ve already gained so much knowledge to add to my skillset. I didn’t think I would have learned and gained so much so early into my role. As a driver, you usually do not get to hear what is going on between all the engineers while you are out on the track, so listening in during the sessions has been extremely interesting. I was quite shocked at the season opener in Bahrain, I did not expect the sheer amount of exchange that happens. You don’t know what you’re missing until you are actually part of it. What I really appreciate in working with those engineers is that they are genuinely listening to you and your opinion matters, and what is special from an emotional side is that many people who are working for the Team now were working here when my dad was driving. Whilst we’ve all been working hard, it’s important to keep a balance and get some downtime. I went out early to Australia and went surfing. I wouldn’t say that I’m a great surfer, but I have to say that I have come to love it and I feel it is not just for fun but also very helpful for training. Even at home in Switzerland I do a lot of surfing. Yes, this may sound strange when speaking of a country that’s not famous for its beaches, but we have a surf spot close to where I live. It can’t beat the adrenaline rush of motorsport though and I’m excited to get back to Brackley and continue our work. We’re working through quite a lot of simulator sessions before the next race in Baku so we will do some virtual mileage and be pushing hard to bring performance to the car. To finish my first diary entry, I wanted to speak directly to you, the fans. Thank you to everyone for the warm welcome to the Team, and for the support you’ve shown me. It’s no secret that I would, like any driver, love to be out there racing. My current role though is helping me grow and develop, which is great.

[josiebelladonna]

i found a vast array of new artists this year, many of whom have become my new favorites, and a couple of whom i would just rather not even see again.

first is madie_arts. nevermind the fact the name madie (and a certain *grits teeth* variant of it) has been made radioactive to me, but… i don’t know, i have a love-hate relationship with this woman. that’s not to say she’s not a good artist—she is—but her attitude gets on the nerves. it’s very “hi, boys and girls!” and she’s one of those people who has to constantly remind us that she’s married, too. i can separate art from the artist and her art is quite nice but i can only take her in small doses.

adam_is_arting. i cannot stand this guy, and what’s worse is i feel alone in my dislike of him, too. i liked him at first: it was a cool story when you think about it. this nobody artist from grant’s pass toiling away in obscurity participated in mermay this year and everyone went completely ape shit over him, and within like… days, he was shaking hands. it’s every artist’s dream. but, thing is, it went to his head just as quick, too, and he got obnoxious really fast. moreover, i started looking at his art—like really looking at it—it’s not nearly as good as the mermay people want you to think. sure, technique is technique and a lot goes into it to where it looks competent, but the style got tiresome very quickly and it grew stale after a while. something about his art just irritates me, too: i think it’s the way he draws faces and overexaggerates the emotions to where you ironically don’t feel anything other maybe, “wow, that’s really well done.” the word i’m trying to think of is “melodramatic”. it’s like disney art but kicked up several hundred notches. very melodramatic work that… when you think about it, it’s a bad sign. if the art world is praising stuff that is painfully on the nose and dismissing subtlety, combined with the continued rise of ai and the overemphasis on reels rather than straight pictures, yeah, we’re in trouble. i really, really don’t know if i should wish him well because i see no reason to. i hate his art and i find him annoying.

then there’s the other side of my creative endeavors: writing. here it is, kinktober, and i’ve pulled the plug on mine, and i don’t know if i can continue writing and posting these one shots.

other kink writers are getting 1000 reads here coming up to halfway: i’m lucky to break 250, and yeah, reads shouldn’t matter, but it really has me thinking, too. when you see other people doing the same thing you’re into, it should inspire you, and it should give you pride in your own kink. I’m not seeing that. what i am seeing is a bunch of people speaking in a language that is so common that i can not for the life of me see the “kink” to it, and they also seem scared to actually commit to the sexiness? i figured that this is why i never really like erotic one shots that are only like a few hundred words and i feel shortchanged in that instance—there’s a way to do it, and even i struggle with that, so don’t think i’m bashing anyone for that. but if you’re going to write something sexy, please actually try to be sexy with it. use description. engage the senses. i don’t get off on “you must have fallen asleep touching yourself” alone, i need some mystery some guidance some passion some feelings. but no, that’s not good enough. what i do is not good enough. everyone would rather be mollycoddled and treated like fucking idiots rather than challenged and have their minds truly stimulated.

i was thinking about this earlier: kinktober 2023 broke me. it was the thing that made me realize just how invisible i am to people, and no one cares about my own predilections, and it really makes me wonder if it’s even worth continuing to write. just as mermay this year made me realize that all that matters is technique to where it looks ai-generated and phony as hell, kinktober made me realize all that matters is the sex no matter how mindless and genuinely unerotic (and insincere) it is.

so, if anyone in 2024 who complains about art looking exactly the same or writing sucking so hard that it feels like the person wrote it in about five minutes, this is why. don’t just blame the machines: the people using them are very much responsible, too. demand more from your art. demand more from your fan works.

god. 2024. it feels weird just writing that. i honestly have no hope for 2024. after the ass-kicking i took this year, i’m so cynical about it that i don’t even know where to begin. vote for joe biden, support your jewish black and muslim friends, stay away from ai and nfts, and drink water, that’s all i have to say for 2024.

[aelaer]

This is for the assumptions thing. *sherlock steeple hands*

Seeing as how you claim Stephen to be your favorite blorbo, I’m willing to bet you have a lot in common with him. Probably the oldest sibling. It’s hard for you to make relationships (platonic/familial… any relationships) but once you do, you’re incredibly loyal to them. Very protective of them. You stick to your morals and beliefs, so basically being stubborn. You probably went to college right after graduating high school, but instead of something science related you went with art. You’re detail oriented for sure, anyone can just glance over one of your fics and see how much research goes into it. You’ve said in your Wong fic that you’ve worked in customer service. As someone who also works in customer service, there’s a certain type of patience that kind of job requires. You’re on the west coast, I’m pretty sure.

You like photography. You’re interested in different cultures and like to travel a lot (possibly for your job?) You’ll try just about any food, especially in other countries. (I know from an ask post you tagged me in that you don’t like spicy food, though). Despite liking movies/shows, you’re not the type to watch something simply because there’s a lot of hype around it. Your preferences in whump suggest you’re the type to help people who genuinely need it, but will stop if they’re aren’t even attempting to take care of things themselves. This is me going out on a limb here, but I’m thinking that perhaps your parents aren’t that affectionate, either with each other or with you? That tends to be common in people who like angst and either heavily like/dislike romance.

Also you’re in your mid/late 30s, so ;) is preferred to 😉

Oh this is great. Excellent layover fodder. This got long but I can't figure out how to do the read more cut on mobile, sorry!

Eldest sibling: Yes. Eldest of 4. We thankfully all get along wonderfully. Don't get to hang out much together because both of my brothers' jobs are very demanding/have holiday work at times - and of course I'm missing Easter this year xD

Relationships: Not really. Very close to my family, always have been. Have the best parents in the world. (Totally missed the mark on my parents haha, I tell folks in Discord pretty often that I'd lend my parents out as foster-parents were it possible). I have to *stop* my parents, especially my mum, from over-hyping me to people xD I can't have my mum read any of my works because she'd tell *everyone* about this wonderful story I wrote and I absolutely do not want the neighbors to know I write fanfic. And she legit can't help herself. As for my dad, he's spent the last 2 weekends with me helping me fix things around the house and helping me clean my garage of my neighbor's crap, and we can talk about almost anything (the only thing he refuses to talk about is anything regarding sex which is pretty hilarious because he gets all blustery if I casually mention something around it and he changes the subject). He's a great dad. Very lucky to have them both.

Friend-wise, it was harder in my youth for sure, but I have always been tenacious and managed. These days it's easy to create them on a superficial, acquaintance level - it's harder to be more in depth due to lack of energy or time. My greatest in depth friendships in my adulthood have all stemmed from online interactions because it can be hard to find nerds in the wild. I'm not a huge fan of superficial small talk that is prevalent with many adults "in the wild" (gossip about kids, neighbors, and the gym in my experience) so finding people that are just *interesting* to talk to is the big key. I know a lot of stuff about a lot of topics and finding conversation partners that have the same breadth is challenging. My coworkers are more interesting- but they're all over the US xD So yeah if everyone was just in the same area that'd make it so much easier.

Morals: I don't think sticking to your morality is a bad thing as the word stubborn implies 😜 flexible morality can lead bad places. I do stick to my guns though. Always up for a philosophical debate about moral conundrums but I call something out if I think it's just wrong - or I certainly try. I haven't been in a situation where doing so would put my life in danger so I'm not sure what I'd do there. I hope the right thing.

College: I'm an art major. Don't regret it.

Work: My customer service stint was blessedly only for a few months; they were trying to train me for the (slow) manager track and I noped out as soon as I could xD. Most of my work in HS and college was as a tutor, which was significantly more rewarding.

Area: Greater LA! Born and raised. 5th generation on my dad's mom's side too (Potato famine refugee), which is stupid rare here.

Travel: I wish I could travel for my job. But with working remote I may be able to make something out of it in a couple years. I think they may be up for it; it's a young company run by millennials which makes the difference. All the travel I've done in my 20s was through making connections with others in my youth and getting invited to stay places, and then teaching English abroad between jobs 5 years ago. And after that I finally started earning an actual decent income which meant I could save up for trips (like this!). That said I also had the support of my parents which helped make it possible (they didn't pay for the trips except one ticket in my early 20s, but I could fall back on them if I needed to which made a big difference).

Self care: Hit the nail on the head. I am the type of supporter to give links to resources in a person's area that is within their income (even in the US there's a lot of free resources, just takes a bit of digging). If someone decides not to help themselves to get out of the bad spot they're in by pursuing these resources, I withdraw. I can only be emotionally invested if people are actually trying - going to free counseling, going to work agencies, etc. No one that I know of here on tumblr is *not* helping themselves by pursuing resources to the best of their ability, so this applies to no one here. But I have had friends in the past that were unable to push past their mental barrier and I eventually ran out of emotional energy to give them. This likely comes from my mom who worked herself up from abject poverty, and my own struggles in my youth where there was a lot of struggle and pushing because my brain is a wee bit different. So I expect folks to try and make the calls and work through the problems. It's okay if it takes years - but you gotta try and keep pursuing and can't give up no matter how hard the going gets. (Note: this is presuming you're physically capable and have enough mental sound-of-mindness for executive decision making, which I do think is still like 99% of the population). I *strongly* recommend a support outlet if you don't have one - online or in person. There's a ton of communities on reddit for folks in tough situations that can help, to start. (Also note that it's very different on what you can do depending on where you are in the world, and that I'm very aware of.)

I find that a lot of people who like angst just like the genre due to finding characters overcoming their struggles very interesting. I don't think parental affection has anything to do with it personally, as I've met many people who adore romance who have absolutely awful parents. As for romance itself, I think my biggest issue is its oversaturation in media and how romance is emphasized to be more important than close platonic (found family) relationships. This happens in fanfic too and it's just annoying. I was significantly less annoyed with it in the LOTR fandom back in the day when they were even - so yeah, it's 100% about the saturation and lack of balance.

(Also romance is a legit boring genre outside of comedies, haha)

[jasmariswonderland]

Better late than never, but finally, here is Crisanta’s birthday interview! I hope you all enjoy getting to know her better! Warning: dad jokes ahead. 

~~~

Yuulan: Happy Birthday!

Crisanta: Thankies, Yuu-chan! Hope you’re having fun! 

Y: How are you feeling having everyone celebrate you today?

C: It feels great! I’m fully enjoying myself but I’ve been feeling a little warm since the party started.

Y: Really? Is your birthday outfit uncomfortable?

C: Oh no, not at all. I feel warm because everyone keeps toasting me! 

Y: Toasting…you…oh…oh! *realizes the joke and begins laughing*

C: *laughing too* That’s what I love, seeing people laugh. Doubly so when I can be the cause of that laughter! I feel there’s few things in the world as wonderful as true, genuine laughter. But not the cruel kind that comes at someone else’s expense, laughter that comes from joy.

Y: Making people laugh seems to be a gift of yours. But since it’s your birthday, you should be the one receiving gifts. Have you received any today?

C: Many in fact! Lots of drawing supplies and game pieces. I also got a super cute card and letter from my litter sister, I can’t wait to see her again on my next break from school. But would you like to know what’s been the best thing I’ve received today?

Y: Sure, tell me. 

C: *giggles* Another year of age! 

~~~

Y: Whenever I see you, you’re always doodling in your sketchbook. What are your favorite things to draw?

C: There are a lot of things I love to draw, generally, I just love to create things. But if I had to choose, I love to draw people, portraits. 

Y: Is there a reason you enjoy portrait-drawing best?

C: Art is made up of the fascinating and beautiful and when I draw someone, I have an up close view of what makes them unique. In order to fully capture their likeness, I end up noticing little things about them that I might not have at first, like putting together the pieces of a puzzle, another thing I enjoy doing. 

Y: You like puzzles?

C: And board games in general, but puzzles are my favorite because they challenge the artistic side of my brain. Since a puzzle is basically a picture you have to put together and if you put it together wrong, it looks weird. 

Y: Ah I see, but back to your drawing, is there a portrait you’ve made that you particularly like? 

C: As an artist, I find something I love about everything I draw so that’s a tough one! I think my portrait of Riddle-san was very good. Apparently he thought so too because when he caught me drawing him, when I was supposed to be studying, I didn’t lose my head! Trey-san even commented on how well I had captured his likeness. But I was given a warning not to be caught drawing during dorm study hour again so I’m much more careful about it now. 

Y: Hehe, I understand. 

C: But if I had to choose, the portrait I’m currently making has been my favorite so far! I’m still in the early stages but once it’s done, it will be so beautiful! 

Y: Really? Who is it a portrait of?

C: It’s…uh…*blushes*...actually, I’m sorry, but that’s a secret! 

~~~

Y: What’s your favorite food?

C: I love sweet things, especially mini sweets. Cupcakes, petit fours, tartlets, things like that! I love them because they’re easy to eat and I can use my hands. And they’re so cute! Like flowers or jewels. Most of my magicam feed is made up of the cute little treats we have for our unbirthday parties at Heartslabyul. 

Y: What’s your least favorite food?

C: Sour candies, because sour is the opposite of sweet. Something about them just don’t really vibe with my tastebuds because in my mind, I’m thinking candies should be sweet. I’m not a big fan of bitter candies for the same reason. 

Y: With your love of sweets, I’m guessing you feel pretty at home in Heartslabyul then.

C: Yeah, I love my dorm and Trey-san makes the best sweets! But I also love my dormmates too. We all look out for each other and Riddle-san really does care about us, even if he can be uber strict at times. There’s a sense of whimsy when you enter through the gates of our dorm that’s kind of infectious when you think about it. Even with the mountain of rules. And best of all, I have frequent access to all of my favorite foods! 

Y: Be sure not to eat too many though.  

C: Hehe, don’t worry, Yuu-chan! It’s my birthday, remember? And you know, birthdays are good for your health. It’s science in fact! 

Y: Really? Why?

C: Because, people who have more birthdays always live longer! 

Y: *laughing* I will remember that! Once again, happy birthday! 

(A/N: Groovy art is a WIP but would show Crisanta in her room after the birthday party, opening the present Ione gave her)

[purveyorofsnozzberries]

I was adopted, but know my birth parents quite well. I’m visiting them for a week atm (I’m 31, I just live in a different state) and I love spending time with them talking about family history.

Like, i’m a member of the family, right? They see me as their son, and I see them as my birth parents. It’s a small difference; essentially the difference between nature and nurture.

But it’s really amazing to see my preferences reflected in my birth parents. My birth mother despises spicy food, just like me. My birth father is where my adhd comes from, and while his isn’t as severe as mine, hearing him talk about the way his mind works reflects the way my own does sometimes.

All the little oddities that being neurodivergent in a society that views neurotypical as somehow better suddenly are the norm. Of course you have ten different lists around the house to make sure you’re on top of your shit. Of course we need to plan a walk or an event into our day. It’s really cool. Seeing myself in them has helped me put names to insecurities I’ve had about myself to rest.

Like, real talk, I grew up in a very loving home with people who did their absolute utmost to show me that I was their child. That’s why there’s a distinction between “mom and dad” and “my birth parents”.

And make no mistake, there is no difference in how much I care for either side. Mom changed my diapers. Dad taught me how to shave. My birth parents love me as their son, and I can no more deny them than I can deny the blood in my veins. It helps that they are genuinely amazing people who just weren’t ready to have a kid yet. I’ve grown up knowing who they were, why they gave me up, how they feel about that (somewhat conflicted, as you might imagine).

But I don’t like hardcore punk and they do. I don’t skateboard and they do. I don’t drink beer, I don’t smoke, and I have a college degree (only an associate of arts, but still it’s something). I have generational trauma from my mom and dad, not my birth family.

I will not need to worry about skin cancer from my dad’s side, or Alzheimer’s from my mom’s, but I will have to worry about Bipolarism and late-onset Schizophrenia. I found out why I have restless leg syndrome; my birth mom has it. I found out my birth father suffers from insomnia like I do, takes the same dosage of the same medications I do.

Being adopted means that I have two sets of parents that I will likely see leave this world before me. I had 9 grandparents (my sister is also adopted, so our family tree goes a little fucky here as additional sets of grandparents need to be accommodated) and now I only have one. My maternal grandmother on my adopted sister’s side, a legitimate Native American Wise Woman (that’s the term everyone’s always used for her occupation; the tribe did not seem particularly interested in explaining to my mother the intricate details of their culture’s hierarchy in further detail) who performed the sun dance for many years.

She’s awesome, my childhood nickname for her was Dragon Lady because you did NOT want to displease her. As a small adhd child I’m pretty sure she was the only one who could get me to behave no matter what. You just wanted her to respect you, she has that aura Y’know?

She’s also getting older. As far as I can tell all my grandparents by blood are dead; we don’t seem to last super long, lol. But I was still there when my grandpa on my mom’s side died. When grandma got Alzheimer’s. I have shared the pain and loss of both my families.

Inheritance can refer to many things.