#also I didn’t get to this in the piece bc it would reiterate a lot of what I said yesterday. but Greg’s primary motive being | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tomwambsmilk · 2 years

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“And has a tendency to want to be good in this world. And she can be pretty harsh on Tom and I think Greg’s gut would be like, “You know what, leave her you’ll be less tortured.” taking out the buzz worthy quotes, i don’t think morality always has to be an overall picture of the world. maybe it can just be that he wants to see his friend have better. i just feel like that is a valid theme for both tom and greg, they tend to be the most open and probably think with their hearts because they don’t have to be as guarded or are as traumatized as the roy siblings

So I didn't answer this right away because I wanted to roll it around my brain for a bit. I don't necessarily entirely agree, but at the same time, you are kind of getting at some interesting ideas so I want to break it down a little.

But first - I'm going to drop the screenshot just so we're clear on what Nich actually said in its full context. Because he did say Greg was "on the side of morality in the show”. We don't have to talk about it but that did come out of his mouth, and if we take it at face value I do think it's a questionable statement:

Nich Braun is really the one who brought morality into this particular conversation. Yes, we can absolutely analyze the end of season 3 and Greg's potential response to Tom's actions through other lenses, but the reason we're talking about morality is that Nich started talking about morality, and his explanation for why Greg would be supportive of Tom hinged on the idea that Greg "wants to be good in this world" which… is a position that implies that either Greg sees himself as a moral actor or Nich sees Greg as a moral actor, depending on whether we take this at face value or assume Nich was implicitly speaking from a “Greg headspace”. (I do think there’s some real ambiguity in that.) And that's a really fascinating statement given how rarely his actions seem to reflect that on the show, hence the other post I wrote breaking down what we can assume about Greg's understanding of morality and what it means to be good from this. I do think a lot of people are overly fixating on the “Greg is on the side of morality” and “Shiv can be a real bitch” without considering the wider context - but we also can’t discount that he said those things just bc they’re kind of uncomfortable.

(And now that you mention it and I've been chewing on it for a while, it's extra interesting that Nich decided to bring up morality when he clearly didn't need to... He could've just said "Tom is Greg's friend and he wants better for him" and that would've been true and valid. So his need to morally justify it - or his reading that there is a moral dimension to this - is extra fascinating. But I'm getting sidetracked.)

So. Depending on exactly what it is you mean by "I don't think morality always has to be an overall picture of the world" I'm not sure how much I agree with that. I do agree that morality isn't the only lens through which to analyze the Succession characters and their actions and motivations, although it is one I keep coming back to because it is interesting to me personally. That being said, I do think it is an omnipresent dimension, even if we aren't actively analyzing the show through that lens. Most actions do have a moral dimension to them, and that's especially true on Succession. It's not always a clear-cut dimension - there are a lot of nuances involved in the choices the characters make - but I do think the questions of "are these choices morally good? are they morally bad? are they somewhere in between? what does this say about the characters?" are inescapable. It's very valid to have a conversation about "was it morally justifiable for Tom to betray Shiv, and is it morally justifiable for Greg to support him in that", even if the characters themselves aren't using that as a decision-making framework, because there is a moral dimension to those decisions, even if the characters don't think of it that way. And that conversation is especially valid because it is a complex question, and while I do have my own opinions on the subject there are a lot of different viewpoints that I think have some degree of validity to them.

It's also perfectly valid to say "tbh I don't really care and that isn't a lens that's super interesting to me personally". Morality is only one of the issues Succession grapples with, and you aren't required to hold an equal interest in every single facet of the show.

I also want to touch very briefly on the end of your ask because the idea that Tom and Greg are "thinking with their hearts" is REALLY interesting to me. I think you probably aren't gonna like the rest of my answer, so I'll say upfront that I do think analyzing the end of Season 3 through the lens of Tom and Greg's particular relationship, and the ways in which their lesser degree of attachment to the Roys proper allows for a greater degree of openness and emotional intimacy is absolutely a valid take. That's a very real thread, and holding the two of them (and I think Tom in particular) up as a foil to the Roy siblings is certainly interesting. But... I do think you have to go a bit deeper because while that idea is true, it's definitely not quite as straightforward as all that, and I don't think it can be entirely divorced from the question of how you're approaching morality.

On the one hand, you're right that they aren't as guarded as the Roy siblings are... On the other hand, they are still very guarded. Tom isn't very guarded with Shiv in season 1, but he is pretty guarded with Greg - at least in terms of actually expressing affection for him, hence all the bullying (that and the power trip involved, of course). By season 3 this has flipped somewhat, and we see him being more guarded with Shiv and more open with Greg, which is a really fascinating development in the Tom-Greg power dynamic - by being more open with Greg, Tom is effectively giving him a degree of power over him. But it's not as simple as Tom being open so much as - a) Tom seems to have a greater capacity for openness than Shiv and the Roy siblings do, likely as a consequence of not being brought up in the Roy family, and b) who he is open with and when is contingent upon a myriad of different factors. (On top of that - I don't know that Tom is all that open with Shiv at the beginning. We see him eating his emotions quite a lot - in the fight with her at the beginning of 1.06, on their wedding night, Ternhaven - hell, most of Season 2. There's a selective openness there which could be a whole point of analysis on its own.)

And I think I actually would characterize Greg as being pretty guarded, but he's also desperate for connection and affection, and that desire is constantly at odds with his fear of vulnerability. He's anxious that he's going to get burned by Ken, but he gives Ken the papers anyways. Tom is his best friend but he still feels the need to have leverage over him. So yeah, comparatively speaking Tom and Greg are more open than the Roys are, but they are still in the same cutthroat world, and so they can't really be all that open and unguarded. But there is a very interesting arc in terms of how their relationship with each other evolves in this context.

The idea that they think with their hearts is interesting, and if you weren't on anon I'd probably DM you to get some clarification on what exactly it is you mean by that because there are a couple of possible interpretations that come to mind for me. On the one hand, if you're talking about being driven primarily by a desire for love rather than being strategy minded, you're absolutely right - but in that case, this definitely is a trait they share with the Roy siblings. Every single character on this show is primarily motivated by love, even if they aren't admitting that to themselves.

(Another reason that's interesting to me is that I'd actually characterize Tom's arc as learning not to love, as becoming increasingly calloused and self-serving and strategic rather than prioritizing the people he loves. We see that death knell hit his marriage first - understandably, to be sure. I don't think it's going to stop at his marriage, though. I don't think Tom and Greg's relationship is coming out of this unscathed. I think Tom is increasingly starting to think like a Roy, and I think his new partnership with Logan is only going to enhance that, and I think that Greg has proven himself slimy and untrustworthy in the past and that he may end up as collateral damage because of this. But those are just my personal predictions, so who knows how it will actually play out.)

Anyways. To circle back, the one way Tom and Greg are different from the Roy sibs is Logan has spent the Roy kids' whole lives pitting them against each other. That means that in their pursuit of Logan's love, they have no choice but to go after each other. That's why they're only able to unite at the end of Season 3 after they've each individually despaired of receiving Logan's love and approval. They can either have Logan's love or they can have each other's, but not both.

Whereas Tom and Greg aren't stuck in that kind of dichotomy. Tom also wants to be loved, but his primary target is Shiv, and she isn't asking him to sacrifice any of his other relationships. She does ask him to sacrifice his career ambitions, which he does until he realizes it likely still will not result in the kind of marriage he wants. Greg wants to be loved by anybody, frankly, and Tom is the one who's most consistently validated him (as Nich pointed out), so by Season 3 Tom is the target of Greg's affections. And by the end of season 3, we get the sense that Tom does love Greg and will continue to do so even if Greg continues to try and fuck him over (although obviously, he'd prefer for that not to happen), if only because he doesn't hold Greg's momentary jaunt with Kendall against him. So yeah, in a sense both of them are able to pursue love more freely and openly because they don't have Logan pitting them against each other. (I do think this is likely to change at some point, but again, we're wading into my predictions here).

There's another dimension to the idea of them "thinking with their hearts" though, which is that it could also refer to the idea of them thinking with their desires. And this is where we circle back to the question of morality, I think, because... It sounds lovely and romantic to think with your heart, but if you want to be a good person you also need to think with your actual head. You kind of need both. Yes, I think a general state of willing the well-being of other people (which can be characterized as 'thinking with the heart') is important, but the thing is you also have to contend with the fact that your desires and your emotions can mislead you. In the course of your life, you will want things that do harm to others, or to yourself. This is part of being human. Your emotions, if not properly managed, will cause you to misread situations and react inappropriately. Desires and emotions are tools, important tools, but that can't be all you're running on because you will get into trouble.

And that's where I think you've kind of hit the nail on the head, albeit possibly accidentally if your end goal was to examine this through an amoral lens. I think it's one of the reasons why people struggle with the relatability of the Succession characters. They aren't good people, they keep doing things that are morally reprehensible, and yet... we find them compelling because we get it. We understand their desires and we recognize them in ourselves. We understand their emotions and we relate to them ourselves. What they're doing is wrong but we see how they got from point A to point B. The extent to which this is true for you personally for each character depends on your particular personality and traumas and issues, but I think it is true for everybody and that's part of why there's so much rancid discourse in the fandom. You see a character that's relatable and you either become a blind apologist for them, or you despise them because they remind you of what you hate in yourself. And I do think that instinct is there for everyone, even if you've learned to temper it, and if you don't think it's there for you that might be because you're lying to yourself just a bit. (Or maybe you're a normal well-adjusted person who finds all the characters abhorrent, but I think most people who are part of the Tumblr succession fandom don't fall into that category.)

To bring it back to Tom and Greg - yeah, I think they might actually be "thinking with their hearts", and I think that's part of the problem. They're being driven by their emotions and their desires, and they aren't thinking about the moral qualities of their actions, and that's why they keep making morally dubious choices, and it's why they're likely to continue making increasingly morally dubious choices. I think on some level that goes for all of the characters on the show, it's just that "thinking with their hearts" looks different for each of them.

(TBH there is a little more to it than just that, if we're going to analyze the moral dimension of these characters, but I'm saving that for a different post because that'll be the tangent to end all tangents.)

I imagine this is a manifestly unsatisfying response because it is basically the opposite of how you want to analyze the show. And at the end of the day - yeah, I do think "Tom is Greg's friend and he wants better for him" is an accurate assessment of the core of what's going on. Where the morality discussion comes in is a) Nich Braun positioning this as a morally good act, or at least a morally good act in Greg's mind, and b) the wider context of Tom betraying Shiv. Because it is possible to say that yes, Tom should leave Shiv, and yes, Shiv has been terrible to him, and no, betraying her like that was not a morally justifiable thing to do, depending on what your moral framework is (side note: personally I do think there is one convincing argument for it being justified, which I don't see laid out very often, but I am restraining myself from getting into it here). So the fact that either Nich or Greg (depending on what Nich Braun actually meant in the interview) thinks what Tom did is morally justified tells us a lot about Greg's moral framework (or possibly Nich's), and if, like me, you already spend a disproportionate amount of time thinking about how the Succession characters approach the concept of morality than that is exceedingly fascinating.

#asks #anon #I do see what you’re saying. I do #and you aren’t necessarily wrong… but the morality conversation is a very valid one #especially because nich brought it up #which is kind of haunting me now bc your ask is what made me realize that he didn’t have to make this a moral question. why did he do that #also I didn’t get to this in the piece bc it would reiterate a lot of what I said yesterday. but Greg’s primary motive being #‘I want what’s best for my friend’ does tell us a lot about how he approaches moral situations #so the two themes - morality and their relationships - are very linked

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woogurl · 3 years

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(hi, it’s me again pretending as if i didn’t go on an unannounced hiatus).

yes, i’m back...for now. i’m not sure for how long. as i’m too busy these days, but i wanted to specifically make this post because it’s been bothering me for a while now. someone mentioned this in the woosan tag as well, but it’s...

non-atiny’s(and some anti-shipping atiny) who constantly feel the need to expose woosan as some cleverly put together ship that was carefully manufactured by the company. i’ve seen so many titles on youtube and posts on twitter saying how:

“woosan is obvious fanservice” and “woosan; a prime example of queerbating in kpop”

i’ve never seen a ship be so criticized for being ‘out there’ and ‘in your face’. i’ve made a post on fanservice before but this post will mainly be focused on why i think it’s completely unfair, dishonest, homophobic, and antagonistic to view their relationship as manufactured and fake. and before you go, ‘i’m sure they’re good friends but all that other stuff is clearly done by the company.’ and don’t get me wrong, bc kq is very much aware of the ships and do try to profit off of fanservice...like every other company. but the clearest indicator of this not being MOSTLY all fanservice is something i’ve mentioned many times before.

1. the rest of the ships in ateez not being anywhere near the intimacy and skinship as woosan.

2. body language.

3. the members THEMSELVES explaining their dynamics.

4. kq not FORCING ships.

ever since predebut and debut there’s ALWAYS been three main ships in ateez. seongjoong, yungi, and ofc woosan.

as you could see, woosan was definitely thee most popular ship. however, i do believe their popularity grew over time because during the early era i’m sure seongjoong dominated, even on fanfic sites they dominate the amount of fanfics written about them. however, woosan’s clear comfort and intimacy with each other made them more popular among atiny’s and even non atiny’s they even had some taekookers saying their ship was realer and that’s saying something xD.

something people really, no i mean REALLY need to understand is...doing fanservice does not invalidate an entire relationship.

there are plenty of celeb couples who enjoy publicly dating and showing affection.

then comes the argument of well, “if they were real they wouldn’t be so obvious about it.”

this statement bothers me because, people who believe that showing too much skinship is fanservice but then they’ll turn around and say at the same time it’s just culture???

it’s fair to see them doing their fake love dance routine and going THAT’S FANSERVICE. but looking at those moments and going ‘nah, their entire friendship gotta be fanservice.’ is delusional to me, as u like to call us shippers.

even if you do not ship them romantically, it’s odd to me that people see two same-sex idols expressing comfortability, intimacy and skinship together and feel like if they’re too open about it or if it looks too gay then it’s....fake? even tho fans love to say it’s just apart of their culture. but if it gets too gay, then it’s fanservice.

i can’t. xD

just because they’re completely comfortable with being intimate doesn’t mean they’re being forced to act that way...it literally just means they ARE that way.

i constantly put emphasis on being comfortable with skinship and intimacy bc, to me that’s just not something the company can force. body language is a reaction from your true emotions and your inner most thoughts. IT IS THE FOUNDATION TO FIGURING OUT WHAT A PERSON TRULY FEELS INSIDE AS THEIR EMOTIONS WILL ALWAYS TRANSLATE THROUGH THEIR BODY. if u are uncomfortable it will be revealed through body language. and i know a ton of seongjoong shippers are gonna hate me for this, but they are a prime example of this. trust me i’m not here to start a ship war, i am purely just using them as an example of discomfort in body language.

body language is something a company cannot control.

seongjoong show definite signs of being uncomfortable with intimacy, heck shippers use that one moment seonghwa expressed sadness bc hj hugged the other members and not him as a shipping moment lol. but even when they do hug it looks uncomfortable. my guess is bc hj is not good at expressing his feelings and isn’t a touchy person. and even tho seonghwa is comfortable with skinship, it’s understandable that it can become uncomfortable for him bc of the things i mentioned before as well as the power dynamics and age difference between them.

and here i am going to be stoned bc, i have more to say about seongjoong(don’t kill me).

bc something the company also can’t control is what OR who the members hang out with OUTSIDE of group activities. so that’s why i’m also mentioning that i also don’t think seongjoong is as close as shippers think they are as...seonghwa mostly hangs out with woosan. and it is almost always mentioned how often woosan hang out together off camera. even early on. woosan hung out so much that it literally came to a point where yeosang felt like his bestfriend was taken from him.

can we mention again how happy that makes san? and let’s not forget the moment woo said seonghwa was into him, but san was like. ‘you’re into me tho’ and they BOTH tried to gloss over that.

wooyoung: wHaT dO u mEaN?

lol. people love to say how much san’s whipped for woo, but woo’s probably even more whipped.

here’s more evidence of woosan enjoying each others company off camera. https://woogurl.tumblr.com/post/614348590729625600/nobody-wooyoung-san-and-i-bass-boosted#notes.

we can even talk about a more recent moment. the ateez debate about mint chocolate. dunno what’s with these kpop idols debating about mint choco ‘cause bts did it too. lol. anyway, they ended up talking about the group dynamics. and how woosan again are always together.

i-i’m sorry, but does moment remind y’all of a past moment? LMFAO. seonghwa’s feeling yeosang’s pain.

seonghwa’s just like woosan says they’re tired of each other but can’t detach themselves. and here’s more evidence that the company isn’t forcing them. for those who thinks kq has some masterplan when it comes to promoting ships.

when they talk about their dynamics, jongho says he feels left out but hj exposes him and says, ‘we’ve tried to pair him with someone but he(jongho) just doesn’t do it’

so this just solidifies my statement from earlier, if the members don’t wanna promote a ship. they ain’t gonna do it. we got one or two vlives from twoho and das it. lmfao. don’t get me wrong. i’m sure jongho get along well with yunho as well as the other members, but promoting any of the other ships in ateez like woosan isn’t gonna work well. ‘cause the rest of the members don’t have the same dynamics. woosan are comfortable with skinship and being intimate with each other and the other members just are not.

another piece of evidence is the members tired reaction whenever woosan is mentioned. lmfao.

this was so dramatic omg. but the members reactions are very telling of woosan’s relationship off screen. if woosan was just fanservice i do not believe the members would react the way they do, maybe share some knowing glances at each other like. ‘pfft, they think woosan’s real’ but their reactions are always big or very indicative of something bigger happening behind the scenes. lol.

i’m not gonna go into too much details, bc the members reactions to woosan are an entirely different post(i got so many posts to make. xD).

Lastly Wooyoung’s Tatto. I know right? He’s very committed to fanservice guys.

Amicus ad Aras is something that woosan made to signify their friendship, and the fact woo got a tattoo on his body of it means a lot. not to mention woo himself taking initiative to find something that represented their relationship.

i feel like i need to reiterate that the meaning of this tattoo was to define his relationship to san specifically so it applies to san specifically. woo has many MANY friends AS WELL as bestfriends yet he got a tattoo that can only be truly applied to san and no one else.

u can continue saying theyy’re just good friends doing fanservice, but it’s obv that woo has many good friends. so the next question u gotta answer is what separates san from the others.

#ateez #wooyoung #san #woosan #analysis

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kachinnate · 3 years

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,,,,okay i know i just said i wasn’t going to talk about the deh movie but actually yeah imma talk about it for just a sec bc y’all actually make me legitimately distressed sajkfndsmjkgds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQ_A0H1otc i dont have the braincells to do a shot by shot analysis right now but here’s what we’re lookin at

under a readmore because ghhhhhhh

firstly, let me lead with this: yes, from what we know, there’s a lot of things wrong with this movie.

the worst, in my humble opinion, being the bts treatment of the (very few) actors of color, and the lack altogether of any production team members of color. that’s something that should be acknowledged, talked about, and fucking dug into especially at the current fucking period of time we’re living in. it’s unsurprising, but disgusting nonetheless, and it set this movie up for failure from the very beginning. i’m a white person so by no means so i feel inclined or like i have any authority in saying what one should feel wrt all of that, however i will say if there’s to be a boycott in not watching this movie, that should 100% be the reason why. it’s fully poc’s choice whether or not to forgive the production team or give this movie a chance for the irredeemable shit it did in regards to handling the movie’s production. the movie imo definitely doesn’t deserve their forgiveness, but again, that is not for me to say.

there’s some little things too that i can’t fully think of off the top of my head - like, the whole making larry connor’s stepdad thing fucking irks me, for example, but, like...... listen.

if you know me like at all, you know my favorite word is nuance.

so, i’m going to say it outright: the way you people are approaching this three minute trailer shows literally.... none?? no nuance ??? is it no-nuance november over here or ???? like i’m begging you i’m BEGGING YOU to put aside your pre-determined prejudices against this movie and like stop pretending to be a renowned film critic for ten seconds because it’s really not as outright fucking abysmal as you are saying!! and also it’s possible to have opinions that aren’t completely fucking polarized to one side because guess what, the deh movie? a piece of media! what is the shit y’all are constantly preaching about having the ability to consume media critically ? because you’re trying to cancel a fucking trailer based on the contents of the trailer alone !!!!! hello !!!!!!!!

media is bound to be problematic. if y’all were as quick to judge any movie as you did this one, guess what you wouldn’t be watching any movies like ever <3

anyway lets get into the parts that are probably going to get me cancelled lmao

ben platt - listen. LISTEN. listen i know he’s too old to be reprising evan we ALL know he’s too old to be reprising evan i’ve heard this same argument since the announcement was made we get it we all know. haha he’s a grandpa yes bestie ur so right ur so funny wow. i do agree that we should’ve maybe had a not-ben-platt evan moment but here’s some things to keep in mind: the arguments of “oooh ABF is right there !!!!!!” 1. who’s to say he was available? 2. the environment of a movie is so, SO much different than that of a musical -- as much as you wanna pretend you know everything from just a trailer, there’s no way of knowing what scenes were added that might’ve made the movie like.. idk possibly more intense story-wise not even COUNTING the fact that just inherently a movie set is different than a musical one? like yes ben platt might be just being used as a device but that’s probably not the sole and only reason. Also, if i see One (1) more comment about his FUCKING HAIR 😃 first of all it’s not that deep like... if you’re so distracted by an actor having their hair different that’s on you, but going as far as to call it bad or distracting or being like Vehemently a way about it? y’all i know it’s most likely not your intention but that is literally just ben platt’s natural fuckin ETHNICALLY JEWISH hair sajknfgkjds!!!! i’m not the first to make this point, but like dsjnfkjdsg!??! y’all are being so mean about it and for WHAT? again, maybe not intentional, but it reads as like high key Very antisemetic and you should.... maybe not 😳 be that way

connor. the thing about a trailer is that they don’t show you all the scenes because they want you to come see the movie. right? can we agree on that? all the connor scenes in the trailer had SEVERAL hard cuts, omitting a lot of the scene -- like the computer lab scene! we see the beginning of it, there’s a VERY obvious hard cut, and then he’s running out! in my opinion my first watch through of this trailer i had a very like “:// hmm all these actors feel a lil like dry”, but man oh man the comments ive seen about connor. holy shit guys. this boy gets 7 minutes of stage time in the actual musical, and the whole thing is we DON’T KNOW VERY MUCH ABOUT HIM. not to burst your bubble, and i by no means hate connor, i love me some good connor lives fics and stuff, but everything we write with connor being alive? that is !! speculation on our part !!!! those are headcanons and us using the little context we have!! connor doesn’t have any significant development IN THE SOURCE MATERIAL that is being adapted into a movie !!! you 1. can’t fully judge a character with already limited screentime in a 3 minute trailer, 2. can’t really call what connor has canonically in the musical as in depth character development !! what is his arc then !!!! he pushes evan, goes to the computer lab, has an outcast loner kid moment, gets upset, takes the letter, DIES. sorry stans, that’s just how it is !! and, AND, everything in between, all the idiosyncracies, that depends on the actor playing connor! speaking of, you know who the actor is playing connor in the movie? that’s right, colton ryan! so, i don’t know, maybe... have some trust in the process, in an actor who ALREADY has played connor on broadway???? and also trust that you will get more connor content then u are seeing from a 3 minute trailer!! dhgnijsdg and some of the comments on like his appearance specifically? like are you really made that he doesn’t have long hair?? they kept his nails and his rings but nahhh the hair was apparently a MUST HAVE (even though like.. not all connor actors on broadway always had/have long hair but w/e).. REGARDLESS. tldr on THAT , the movie would have to do a pretty shitty job if they want to take something from someone who doesn’t have much to begin with and i think y’all are being extremely harsh on this point

jared. honestly i’m a bit worried too about the like... name change, because it does have the potential to be taking out some representation, but... they did change the name to fit the actor’s ethnicity? it’s a really [hmm] topic because, again, from a trailer and from what we have been told we don’t KNOW a lot of the context, but i think it’s important to remember that uh.. jewish people aren’t just? always white ?? there’s a possibility they changed the last name to fit with the [ethnicity] while keeping him jewish?? ofc there’s the possibility that they Didn’t and ... again hm that’s its own thing altogether but just reiterates the point that you can’t knock a whole movie just based on the trailer. you can’t talk about things you know nothing about.

alana. same thing as before, you can’t.... completely bash a character based on a 3 minute trailer. there was discussion about how she seemed ‘shy’ when talking to evan, which like.. maybe she is but also that scene was them talking in a library like if u actually take notice of what’s happening in the scene jdskngsd though i do share the general consensus with many others that she won’t get a lot of screen-time but that’s neither here nor there 😔 moving on

scenes and the setting. one of the things i was most like.. tentative about in regards to a switch from a musical to a movie was how they were like... going to do certain scenes? naturally, a lot has to be different when we’re going from a minimal stage set to an entire movie with like.. settings. there are going to be new scenes because a movie lends to have like, physical places that aren’t just [evan’s bedroom] and [murphy kitchen] and [implied school]. so new scenes, new conversations, slightly different pacing.. this is all to be expected right like are y’all geneuinely surprised here or ........

there’s a lot we aren’t seeing yet because this is a TRAILER. again i already mentioned this re: connor but like... again, y’all are making some Claims that just... fucking outlandish. there are so many moments in the trailer that are very obvious Hard Cuts. you don’t have all the information yet. you are angry at a tiny fragment of something that is confusing you because you don’t have all the context. is there a chance that some of this shit is just genuinely Bad? yeah but you really cannot 100000% say it with your chest and gauge it without seeing the movie and understanding what that scene is in context. lowkey uhhh saw some jokes about the zoe scene in the car and :’))) ? jesus? christ????

concluding thoughts because my brain hurts but like. you don’t have to like the movie. you don’t have to WATCH the movie. like all media if you choose to consume the movie you should do so with some CRITICAL THOUGHT. but, just like the novel (and i do not want to have any discussions about that i don’t care if you think it’s good Or bad that’s not what this is about) you guys are going in this WANTING to believe it’s bad and completely polarizing your thoughts on what this is going to be. yeah, maybe there shouldn’t be a movie. i genuinely think we could’ve gone without. but it’s just a piece of media, it’s not a progression like all your (musical is good, novel is bad, MOVIE IS WORSE OH NO) posts are suggesting. they are all just. different pieces of media stemming from a source. at the end of the day it’s just a fucking movie. if you already hate it so much, guess what? you don’t have to watch it! you don’t have to put so much needless fucking hate into a 3 MINUTE TRAILER. you can stop being performative and dissing it for its poor treatment of POC while then going on to make fun of ben platt’s hair and just targeting a different group like! please !!!

i’m not trying to be a fuckin’ advocate for this movie because there’s so much opportunity for it to suck, i do Not have high hopes for it, and i’m not even really sure i want to watch it (i bought the novel when it came out and have yet to read it, and i’m sure the movie will like.. elicit very similar vibes from me lsdngjkdsg like im just not uhhh feeling it) but y’know what? watching the trailer did not bring forth the fucking onslaught of hatred in me that apparently has fuckin posessed all of y’all and like djnsgjksdg plagued my dashboard for this whole evening. don’t come into my inbox trying to like.. argue with me about this (preemptively im turning off anon because i like i Can’t lmao) this is just like... a rant i needed to get out of me real quick.

SO. tldr for now: have critical thought about shit you consume, there’s no ethical consumption under [the film industry], you can’t judge a movie entirely on its trailer, and y’all need to calm the fuck down

#garbage.txt #deh movie #ask to tag #irrelevant #bc this is lowkey a vent bc jfc #this isn't @ anyone btw this is just [in general mostly just from my dash] bc.. sighs #anyway im gonna refrain from making any more comment on this its just. frustrating.#edit: ok to rb

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zeravmeta · 3 years

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Arc-V 7th Anniversary

Alright fellas here it is! It’s been 7 years since Yugioh Arc-V first graced our lives, and I thought I’d celebrate this by going over my personal Top 5 Duels in the series! This list is just my opinion, and you don’t have to agree/disagree or whatever, it’s just for fun. Let’s get to it!

#5: Yuya vs Barret, Synchro Arc

This duel is probably the one that no one expected to be on this list, but it’s actually a critical moment to Yuya’s growth as a character (I know some might have expected the 227 duel here but that one serves more towards narrative parallels and foreshadowing rather than actual character growth). This duel is here for one important reason: It’s the moment where Yuya truly let go of Yusho’s ideals. The Dimensional War had only began to get more chaotic as time passed, with Academia sending no shortage of goons after them, but this is the duel where Yuya is forced to choose: Yuzu’s (and his friends) life, or Smile World (the representation of his father’s ideals). Ultimately, Yuya does choose Yuzu, but this duel is also one of the most agonized we see Yuya after because Yuzu was still kidnapped anyways. To him, he threw away both of them by being forced to choose. However, it’s also what does encourage him to finally take that first step he needed, the buildup to the entire Synchro arc of finding his own words, and challenges Jack for their last rematch

#4: Tsukikage and Sora vs Obelisk Force, Synchro Arc

Ok THIS ONE is the one that no one actually expected, but I really do like it since it’s a good bit of character building for both Sora and Tsukikage (also I didn’t want this list to just be Yuya duels). Tsukikage was a surprising dark horse in Arc V because of how much he actually was developed. His design wasn’t anything special and he was legitimately just hired help by Reiji. However, in this duel we see a ton of incredible character defining moments for him: His grudge against Sora and Academia for what happened to his brother, his commitment not just to Reiji but to the Lancers, his trust in Reira but also his concern, and the tag team with Sora where he makes clear that he never intends to forgive Sora for his involvement with Academia, but he thanks him regardless. This is also the duel that firmly cements Sora as a good guy after about 50+ episodes of him being a villain from his initial heel face turn, where he finally decides that the friends he made in Standard Dimension are too important for him to turn his back on despite Academia being a literal child military. Speaking of…

#3: Shun vs Sora, Maiami Championship

The granddaddy of all tone setting duels in this series, this duel has a lot going for it, but it is phenomenal for one reason alone: how absolutely brutal it is. Yugioh has always gone out of its way to forgive all the cartoon violence in duels as just monsters looking cool, but this duel kicks it up a notch by showcasing just how brutal the Dimensional War between the Fusion and XYZ dimensions was. And mind you, at this point in the series, it was only slightly hinted, and we later see it in more brutal detail in Shun vs Dennis (Friendship Cup) and the duels in the XYZ Dimension, but this duel has another point to its favor: Sora’s heel face turn. At this point, all we knew was that Shun was going around attacking random duelists for no reason. However, it’s when Sora breaks out his own Evil Face™ that we really see the dynamic at play here: Sora is the spy sent to lower everyone’s guards, while Shun is the compassionate avenger that’s trying to prevent another dimension from falling the way his did. No other duel Shun has ever had as much impact as this one with the exception of his duel with Dennis in Synchro, but when put side by side, this is the duel that stands out because it’s when the series truly begins to take its darker turn.

#2: Yuya vs Jack, End of Synchro Arc

This one I feel is a little controversial, but I absolutely cannot understate just how important this duel is for Yuya’s character. The Synchro arc as a whole was considered a drag by many, and while there certainly are parts that it feels as such, it is undeniable that it provides very critical development for Yuya. This entire time, Yuya has thought that he could simply parrot his father’s ideals as a way to cope with his own insecurities (shirou emiya much? Lmao). However, Jack sees right through his game and completely humiliates him in their first encounter, telling Yuya that he isn’t worthy to stand against him unless Yuya can find his own words instead of the words he borrowed. After this encounter, Yuya tries to force his ideals again, but realizes that he needs to find another way to convey the message and ideals of Duels with Smiles that he wants. His duel with Shinji, Duel Chaser 227 and Crow all had Yuya learn different ways of expressing himself and further evolving his duel, up until this final confrontation. Deciding that instead of letting Academia and The Tops having their way, Yuya squares up and challenges Jack on his own terms for a final rematch. Throughout the duel, we see Yuya apply everything he’s learned so far, but Jack still tells him that he’s holding back and using borrowed words instead of his own, until Yuya finally hits his breakthrough: Pendulum was something he didn’t borrow from anyone, and it’s HIS OWN WORDS to convey his message. With that breakthrough, Jack has finally found an opponent worthy to test himself against once more, because he’s grown so strong that no one in Synchro Dimension was able to challenge him and his drive for self-improvement. Jack in general was such a clutch character to bring back because he’s the exact type of impetus that Yuya needed: A mentor who wasn’t afraid to tell him that he’s simply hiding behind what was given to him, and rather pushed him to achieve greater heights than Yuya himself thought he was capable of.

Alright before the #1 duel, let me list some honorable mentions bc while these didn’t make my top 5, I do still believe they are important and are all fantastic duels in their own right.

Honorable Mentions:

- Yuya vs Kachidoki, Maiami Cup - Yuya vs Gongenzaka, First Match - Shun vs Dennis, Friendship Cup - Yuya vs Yuri, Academia Arc - Yuya vs Battle Beast, Academia Arc - Yuya vs Duel Chaser 227, Friendship Cup - Yugo vs Serena, Friendship Cup - Yuzu vs Masumi, Maiami Cup - Yuya vs Shingo, Yosenju deck Maiami Cup - Shun vs LDS Trio, Start of Series - Yuto-Yuya vs Kaito, Academia Arc - Yuto-Yuya vs Edo, Academia Arc - Yuya vs Reiji, Round 1

And now...

#1: Zarc vs Lancers, Academia Arc

By and far what I consider to be the pinnacle of all duels across the ENTIRE Yugioh series (even beating out Yusei vs Z-ONE), this is less of a duel and more of an all-out war, the culmination of 130+ episodes of masterful foreshadowing and incredible build-up that results in what I consider the best final boss reveal in the series. Arc V is a master of foreshadowing across the series, and kept giving us hints that something BIG was coming, that The Professor and Academia weren’t actually the endgame villains of the series, and after the cast barely manages to eek out a victory against Yuri, it’s ultimately a failure as all the pieces are in place for Yuya to finish his IMA KOSO HITOTSU NI fusion with all his dimensional counterparts. Every single character, good guys, bad guys, and everyone in-between watch as reality falls apart, and births the monster made by their own hands, that is Zarc. I need to reiterate here that the greatest strength of Arc-V is foreshadowing because throughout this duel, we see the application of the ideals that Yuya had developed on his own, as “his own words” are what reaches to the extended cast. It was Yuya’s duty to raise them up as the Pioneer of Pendulum, now it was their job to drag Yuya back from what he has been reduced to. And all throughout, we see how Zarc was made, how he was so similar to Yuya in almost every regard, and we are reminded of all the times Yuya failed but had his friends to help him up, and how Zarc was just a Yuya who had no one to help him when he failed. Zarc who hurt people because it was demanded of him, and ultimately embraced his role as a violent villain as his ultimate act of revenge, because his audience asked for it. And yet, we also see Zarc have his absolute ass dragged by SAWATARI of all characters, and we see just how much of a coward Zarc really was. The entire duel just has so much going for it: Jack-Gongenzaka tag team, Ray and Reiji calling out to Zarc and Yuya, Zarc’s continued insistence that he’s just a monster, It’s So Damn Good. I tell people to watch Yugioh anyways because Yugioh is a great series, but this duel is so good that I would unironically tell people to watch Arc V just so they can watch this duel (outside of the many reasons I recommend arc v). It’s so good, Zarc is such a fun villain, it’s the climax of Yuya’s entire character arc, and I hold it in high regard as the best duel in Arc-V.

Thanks for taking the time to look through this little retrospective on one of my all-time favorite series, here’s to Arc-V’s 7th anniversary!

#yugioh arc v #zerav meta

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morphogenetic · 3 years

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the requested, very long adaptation of a Twitter thread I made about flowcharts in media. contains multiple spoilers for several things but I will section off each part. Under a readmore because Fucking Long

(starts with 999/general ze spoilers but will also talk about ai, raging loop, and 13 sent.inels a bit)

1. The MAJOR 999 and Zero Escape spoilers part

while it is obviously super convenient for replays, the 999 port including a flowchart kind of defeats the point because zero WAS just blindly trying things. they'd always have to watch junpei fuck up from the beginning over and over because they DON'T have the ability to just jump back to certain points in the timeline!! at all!!

like yes obviously its a thing to start from the beginning over and over (and then speed through text youve already seen) bc its a DS limitation in some ways, but it is FULLY accurate to zero's own gameplay experience (and, hell, even junpei's) to NOT let them be able to just jump around wherever in the timeline

in contrast, letting the vlr/ztd protags jump in random places into the flowchart IS fully justified! it makes PERFECT sense that they can do that! in fact, if they COULDNT do that, it would be Bad, bc the plot relies so heavily on them Being Able To Do That that it wouldn't make sense otherwise. ztd in particular actually is brilliant with how it does things completely asynchronously to the point that piecing together the order of events is almost impossible. yes its confusing, but its SUPPOSED to be! it's not always good otherwise but the way it PURPOSEFULLY disorients the player like that is. So good.

2. The less-major-but-still-spoilers AI: The Somnium Files Part (and general-Uchikoshi-media part)

ai is kind of a weird case, because unlike A Lot Of Other Uchi Stuff, the existence of a multiverse is only implied, rather than canon. the branching system is so drastic that i don't think it WOULD work nearly as well if it didn't have an in-game flowchart. on the other hand, its not super well built into the actual narrative structure of the game, which feels INCREDIBLY unlike uchi.

its probably just something he brought over bc he was so used to it from his previous games and it DOES have a narrative purpose in ai, its just less of a storytelling choice from his usual time bullshit way of doing things lol. i do like it but it's probably part of the reason that ai isn't quite as high up for me as 999 and even punchline in some ways. its still GOOD but it doesn't take full advantage of being a game (or a show) in the same way that a lot of his other stuff does

3. The Raging Loop flowchart part (minor spoilers, primarily for the early routes, and implied 999 spoilers)

raging loop is a really interesting blend of flowchart and looping to me, because, just like 999, every time you die you are actually starting at the beginning. however, because of the way the game sets up haruaki (the protagonist), and because of the way the actual looping mechanic works, letting you skip forward past sections you've already seen makes PERFECT sense. there are cases where haruaki just straight up goes "yeah I did the same shit here a few times to get this to work" and it makes PERFECT sense bc hes not even like "WOAH a time loop," he just immediately accepts the mechanics of his situation and spares recounting it over and over.

this works even better when you throw revelation mode into the mix, for a ton of huge spoiler reasons that i won't actually talk about here, but rloop really is the perfect blend of 999 vs vlr style time bullshit, and it works PERFECTLY for the type of story its trying to tell. it takes into account that the type of person playing this game probably already HAS played a ton of vns with a time loop mechanic, and so it gave itself a flowchart and a protag that is set up fantastically for this kind of setup.

4. The 13 Sentinels part which you REALLY SHOULD NOT READ IF YOU HAVENT PLAYED IT

this is a spoiler buffer this is a spoiler buffer lalalalallalalalaala

okay if youre reading this I sure hope you have played 13 sentinels because otherwise im going to spoil you. please play it or watch an LP if you dont have a ps4, if you need content warnings I can give them to you, I'm begging you for the love of god play this game if you like vns at all

comparing 13s to any of these other things feels weird, because it uses its flowchart system in a completely different way. unlike the others w the looping mechanics, a ton of the branches on each character ARE different days entirely. not always, of course, but its more used as a way to help the player keep track of information they've already learned, rather than as a way to introduce a sense of non-continuity into things. this works perfectly fine for 13s because Flashbacks Real And Happen Often

this probably comes from the fact that 13s was at one point going to have a FUCKTON of endings, like 12 for each character, so it did originally use the flowchart for a branching-narrative purpose, but then had to repurpose it entirely. it did actually arrive from the usual idea of a choice system that is typical for many visual novels/adventure games, but it ends up using it in an entirely different way for budgetary limitations

(this next part is in rot13, because while those were fairly minor things, this stuff is MAJOR major. just. please I must reiterate PLAY THIS GAAAAAME. if you have plug this next part into a rot13 translator and you'll be good)

vg vf rkgerzryl shaal ubj, hayvxr gur bgure gjb tnzrf ba guvf yvfg, gurer vf nofbyhgryl ab gvzr ohyyfuvg ng NYY. abg rira ybbcf ner ernyyl gvzr erfrggvat.

gur erny sybjpuneg bs guvf tnzr vf whfg gur tenqhny puebabybtvpny cvrpvat gbtrgure bs rirelguvat, ohg vg VF hygvzngryl n yvarne fgbel rira vs rkcrevrapvat vg va n yvarne jnl jbhyq pbzcyrgryl ehva vg. fb, va gur raq, vgf sybjpuneg orvat onfvpnyyl puebabybtvpny sbe rirel punenpgre, rkprcgvat synfuonpxf, NYFB cresrpgyl freirf vgf fgbel. gur cynlre whfg unf ab jnl bs xabjvat gung hagvy arneyl gur raq.

#junpei.txt #sorry for being annoying about video games (some crimes can never be forgiven)

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kevinbirthday · 4 years

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Critically analyzing The All For The Game series

While this may seem like a hit piece on the books I will say that I absolutely adore the books beyond even my own comprehension. I own multiple pieces of fan merch of characters created by Nora and this series got me through incredibly tough times. I enjoy being critical of the media I enjoy so this is in no way meant to hate on Nora or drive you away from reading the books. The series will forever have a special place in my heart I am just a cynical person lol.

The all for the game series really is amazing, though there is subpar writing and glaring plot holes at times. Nora took lots of ideas I’ve never really seen in any other YA novel and ran with them, hell she even had a queer couple that didn’t exist solely for queer bait. I just feel like Nora had lots of ideas and there were so many concepts and half-baked notions of what should happen that not all of them were executed correctly.

I also think her putting out the extra content that contradicts the books multiple times was a poor choice. Yes, it’s great to get questions answered about things but I think if you have to constantly go back in and explain why something happend or when, then you should have spent more time on the books development. I have strong opinions when it comes to the extra content. Part of me believes it shouldn’t exist past answering a few questions about the books, not 300 paragraphs of random reiterations of the storyline and extra side stories that contradict canon.

I think a lot of the series was based on contrived plot points and driven by too many plot devices to make the story seem like a linear progression to me. The readers of this should also read the books on their own and form their own opinions on the book. Nora doesn’t alway do things incorrectly and I will never claim she’s a terrible writer on the basis that she self published the entire series. The books were never professionally polished and I think that is part of what gives this series so much charm. Suspension of belief is needed to read this series and it does inspire feelings of “What the actual hell. Did that just happen?!” Which honestly just shows the creativity of the series and proves that you can write a book full of morally grey characters and it be successful. As stated earlier I give Nora props for never making the main characters queer relationship be the entire focus of their exsistance. She did drop the ball on that when writing Nicky Hemmick’s character.

I also believe that while Nora was amazingly creative with this series, she created a whole new sport and badass characters for Pete’s sake that’s talent. I also Nora didn’t handle many things correctly or with the tact needed to pull certain things off.

Andrew and his whole meds situation paints medication and mental illness in an extremely poor light. I think she just wanted to throw something in to cover all her bases instead of researching pills. I agree it’s not far fetched to say that Andreil never say I love you in terms of vocalizing the words to each other because of the fact that they have their own private version of the words.

What I do find extremely far fetched is that Andrew never ‘heals’. Andrew Minyard goes to therapy even after the mandatory sessions are finished. Andrew agreed to go to joint therapy sessions with his brother to work their issues out! Tell me this man is not healing. Andrew will never not have bipolar disorder because it’s not something to be cured and he most definitely has C-PTSD after all he’s gone through. Those things can’t be cured but they can be managed by having a support system, going to therapy, and talking though issues within your family system. What is Andrew Minyard doing? Exactly that. He’s managing his symptoms which is part of healing, sure he’ll never be ‘normal’ but he’s healing as a person. The mindset that someone will never heal bc of their csa and mental health issues are ‘too bad’ is literally the worst mindset to have and is so damaging!

I also understand that you have to call on some suspension of belief when it comes to Andrew’s sentencing after he protected Nicky during the fight at Eden’s, but the only case I’ve ever personally seen someone be forced to take mind altering medication after a fight and not be sent to a psych ward was in the case of a combative schizophrenic and hurt someone and the person they attacked pressed charges. I find the whole Andrew on medication ordeal both infuriating and incredibly confusing.

Another confusing thing to me is the entire characterizaton of Nicky Hemmick. Can we all agree that it was incredibly uncomfortable? He was written as an extremely stereotypical gay man with rapey ‘undertones’. Who am I kidding with undertones he shoved drugs down Neil’s throat with his tounge and can’t take no as an answer. This being said, I do love Nicky’s character. I just don’t think that someone who was subjected to conversion therapy no matter if they had some to help them work through their internalized homophobia, would act so flamboyantly during the 2000’s. There were still commercials about not calling people gay as a insult, Paris Hilton had to tell people to use the word stupid instead. He was also one of the only explicitly stated characters as being a person of color and while I’d never say that Nora had racist intent behind that writing him as an extremely predatory gay man always rubbed me in an uncomfortable way.

At least he had some semblance of a back story though, due to Mr. Unreliable Narrator Neil Josten it felt like some characters were there just to prove that character’s besides the monsters, a few of the upperclassmen, and riko existed. Riko’s villain status seemed like it was something to make more of an immediate threat to Neil than Nathan. We had to have some reason for Kevin to be with the foxes and to go to a team so ranked down other than just Wymack being his father. What was Riko really there for other than to tell Neil that the Moriyama’s think he’s their property and then get shot in the head? I also think his death was just to wrap things up neatly and provide closure to the reader that all the ‘bad guys’ are gone. Evermore mostly served to further Neil and Andrew’s relationship and to provide extra drama. Nathan was too out of site out of mind to provide any suspense or drama for the readers. Riko was more of a plot device than a character in my personal opinion. We also only have the bare bones of almost all of the upperclassmen’s back stories. All we really know about the upperclassmen is that Dan used to be a stripper and her stage name was Hennessy, Matt’s dad sucked and he was an addict in the past and Andrew was the reason he went to rehab, Renee was in a gang and is a reborn Christian, Allison had an ed and was disowned and who cares about Seth because he was just killed to bring the foxes together. Was the team so dysfunctional Nora had to kill a man to get them to work together? I feel like his death could have been avoided and was completely meaningless. I enjoyed the the books but at times it was a complete information overload and I can’t even imagine how Neil felt in the situation when I as a reader will never had to deal with that firsthand.

#aftg #all for the game #tfc #andrew minyard #the foxhole court #neil josten #andreil #aaron minyard #palmetto state foxes #aftg analysis #aftg textpost #aftg shitpost #all for the game hc

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asterekmess · 4 years

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1-11 Scott/Posey Stans always try to deflect criticism of the way Scott McCall is written in Teen Wolf by claiming that ANY attempt by a fan, a viewer, or a critic of holding Scott to a level of behavior that one would expect of a character who is a main and the self-proclaimed hero of the show is “racism”. Except that their accusations don’t make any sense whatsoever, because Scott’s canonical shitty actions and behavior don’t stem from his race (or canonical lack of thereof.)

Okay hun, this is a doozy, so I’m putting it under a Read More.

2-11 Scott McCall is mean. He’s mean to Stiles, he’s mean to Allison, he’s mean to Derek, he’s mean to Peter, he’s mean to Cora, he’s mean to Lydia, he’s mean to Jackson, he’s mean to Erica, he’s mean to Isaac, he’s mean to Malia, he’s mean to Malia, he’s mean to Kira, he’s mean to Liam, he’s mean to Chris, and he’s even mean to Theo (“You are barely even human!”) Scott McCall is deliberately rude to the Hales, Boyd, Ethan, Danny, Hayden, Jiang, Tierney, and Melissa.

3-11 Scott McCall deliberately USES, INSULTS, HUMILIATES and DEHUMANIZES people in ways that demonstrate that he is fully aware of what he’s doing. Scott McCall deliberately disregards other people’s needs in order to fulfill his own. Tyler Posey being half Mexican doesn’t change the fact that his fictional character Scott McCall is a whiny coward and an abusive piece of trash,

4-11 and that his so called ‘defense squad’ enjoys the power fantasy that Scott can be cruel, can lie, can assault, can lash out, can violate other people’s boundaries, bodily autonomy and consent, can commit premeditated murder, can break the law without impunity, can dehumanize, can gaslight and victim blame his friends to his heart’s content and no one should ever hold it against him

5-11 In both the production and in some Scott supremacist fanfics, there’s often the premise that people are evil and in the wrong if they call Scott out on his bullshit or hold his toxic behavior against him. Take Season 1. As much as the Scott McCall defense squad brigade love framing Stiles and Derek getting shit done and prioritizing people’s life over Scott’s jealous fits and temper tantrums as the height of depravity

6-11 Scott/Posey Stans consciously and steadfastly ignore all the cruel things that Scott says and does throughout the seasons, such as “How much Adderall have you had today?” OR “What are you trying to do?! I just made first line! I got a date with a girl who I can't believe wants to go out with me and everything in my life is perfect! Why are you trying to ruin it?!” OR “The hunters had a reason to slaughter your entire family and pack”

7-11 (As an aside, it’s amazing to me how Fanon rewrites Scott as this brilliant thinker and strategist and mastermind who is so much smarter and better than everyone else in every way even though Canon Scott spends the entirety of Teen Wolf doing absolutely nothing except get his ass handed to him by everyone, whining about wanting to be popular/get his dick wet/play lacrosse, screaming at his friends and girlfriends, being utterly useless when left to his own devices,

8-11 and planning to bite Stiles against his will because he doesn’t know what to do. But I digress.) Or take Season 5. In the rain argument in Lies of Omission (5x09), Scott McCall’s hypocritical, dehumanizing speech to Stiles is one of the meanest, cruelest, most disgusting manipulations I have ever seen a television character deliver to another television character they supposedly cared about. It’s victim blaming and gaslighting at its vilest.

9-11 And, of course, the Scott McCall defense squad focuses exclusively on the idea that Stiles didn’t behave “the right way” in that scene (AKA taking Scott’s bullshit without clapping back like Scott wanted and demanded), and cannot entertain for one moment the idea that Scott provoked that response by dehumanizing Stiles and by accusing Stiles of being a violent, dangerous, inhuman monster and serial killer based on Theo’s words alone.

10-11 After all, it’s part of their power fantasy. Scott being “abandoned” and “mistreated” by his “ungrateful” friends serves another type of fantasy: the poor oppressed martyr. It doesn’t matter why Scott is abandoned or who is leaving Scott, it’s all about Scott McCall’s right to own people and demand his friends’ love, friendship, loyalty, sympathy, forgiveness, obedience and devotion without having to account for his own abusive behavior.

11-11 And that’s Scott Stans’ point: Only Scott McCall Is Important and Damn Derek/Stiles/Liam/Other Teen Wolf character for having a life and motivations that don’t revolve around Scott! To them (and to Canon Scott), the pack exists not to serve all its members, but to serve and validate Scott McWhinyCall. Because, after all, that’s what antis want for themselves – validation in the face of shortcomings and bad behavior.

Wow, that was a lot of anger. Do you feel any better after venting that? I really hope so, it honestly looks p cathartic. Okay, I apologize in advance if I don’t come across as quite so passionate, I’m kinda bleh today and I already used up all my righteous fury in an earlier post, so I’ll do my best.

I honestly understand the worry about people disliking Scott as having racist motivations. As I said in another post, there aren’t a lot of Latino (wait, I read somewhere to use latine? Should I use that instead? I’ll use that, someone correct me if I’m wrong. The thing also said latinx was not great bc of pronunciation issues? I’m not educated enough on this. Halp, please.) Latine protagonist characters in popular television, especially for teen dramas like Teen Wolf. Intentional or not, written into the show or not, Scott is half-latine. His mother is a latine woman. We don’t see them speak spanish or take part in any specific cultural traditions, but that doesn’t make him white. Yes, his character was written for a white guy, but Tyler Posey is the one who got the part and we can’t strip him of his heritage just because the show originally meant for Scott to be white. My husband is almost always mistaken for white, even though he’s also half-latine, but that doesn’t make him any less latine. There’s little enough representation as it is, and if we start being picky about whether characters were ‘intended’ or ‘written’ as POC, everything will just fall to shit. Plus, as a white person, I have literally no rights to decide that Scott’s white. I’m cool with that. Would prefer to just stay in my lane, if I’m honest. With Scott established as being a POC, it’s totally reasonable for other POC and fans of Scott to be worried that those of us who don’t like him have that opinion because of either passive or active racism. There are a lot of occasions where Protags of Color were either liked less, or actively disliked for just being ‘not white.’ It also doesn’t help that Scott is one of very few “good” Characters of Color in TW (whether we agree or not, he is presented as a ‘good guy’). We have Boyd, who dies in 3A and doesn’t get much character developement in the meantime, and Kira, who sticks around for a while, then has to leave because of ‘losing control’ which is apparently a very common stereotype for POC, especially within Fantasy or Supernatural settings. Other than them, the other POC are either bad guys or just morally dubious. I’m not sure where Deaton falls on the scale either. I understand it being frustrating to some people for us to take one of the few “good’ characters and see him/describe him as a villain. It’s important for white people, and honestly, anyone not latine (because even POC can be racist against people who aren’t their race) to be self-aware and analyze the various reasons why we dislike Scott and make sure that we aren’t accidentally being passively racist. Just because we’re sure we aren’t, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t double check. And if we find we are, then it’s up to us to correct that mindset and educate ourselves. There is no shame in learning that you have not great habits or mindsets and working to fix them. That’s how growth works. It’s equally important that when we’re writing fic, we watch how we portray him and the other POC in the show. I’m not saying we can’t write Scott bashing fic. Fuck knows that I’ve written plenty of Bad Friend Scott McCall fic, and I don’t intend to stop. But we still need to be self-critical and make sure that we’re not writing Scott (or the others, please assume from here on out I’m saying Scott and the others) into racist stereotypes. We shouldn’t reduce him to just a “Yes” man, or make him constantly submissive, or constantly vicious and angry and mean for no reason. It’s one thing to write him as doing something bad or cruel and making it realistic for the story. It’s quite another to have him just randomly pop in to say “fuck you” and hit someone (I’m not referencing something specific here, I’m just saying dumb stuff). Honestly, I don’t know enough about this and I’m not really entitled to go into too much more detail. Instead, I’d recommend that even if you don’t think you’re hating Scott for racist reasons, still read This Post about racism in fandom/fanfic. When I read it, it was both reassuring and intimidating. I have anxiety, so I’m usually worried about doing things for ‘the wrong reason’ even when that’s not actually my reason for doing the thing. Reading this gave me a clearer view of my own thoughts, and it honestly made me feel a little more comfortable with my own mentality because it gave me a structure to think about and consider when I’m worried that I’m doing something racist. It’s worth the read. I’d also like to reiterate the suggestion on that post, to check out the blog Writing with Color, which is a great resource for writing Characters of Color. It doesn’t have as many resources for fanfiction writing and the grey area involved in writing characters that your reader already knows, but their ask box is closed at the moment, so maybe when it opens again someone’ll send in an ask about it (If I actually remember to, I’ll do it myself, but that’s unlikely, so if one of you feels so inspired, please do so and help a fic writer out!)

Now. I cannot speak for every single fan of TW who is anti-Scott in some way. Obviously not. But, I can speak for myself and for the experiences I’ve had within the fandom. My issues with Scott are many and complex and a lot of it is intrinsically connected to issues with the writing of the show in general and with the creators and the calls they made. In all the conversations that I’ve had with other fans, I’ve never seen anyone list Scott’s race as a problem. I’ve never seen anyone talk about how they wished he were more submissive or more obedient. Maybe that he would listen to actual adults once in a while, but not that he be unreasonably obedient of white characters. I’m not all-knowing on the subject of racist stereotypes, but nearly every complaint I’ve seen was based on details from the show and specific moments and dialogue, not just a general disgust with his existence. Furthermore, for all the anger I see directed at those of us that prefer Stiles, Derek, or even Peter, I’ve also never talked to anyone who liked those characters who wasn’t willing to admit that there were plenty of points in canon where they fucked up or did something wrong. Again, I don’t know everyone in fandom, so maybe there are people who won’t admit those things, but they aren’t in the majority.

I personally hate the way I see Scott treat people in the show. I hate the really vicious things he says and does and the chronic lack of self-awareness or growth. Even worse, the way the show excuses his behavior, be it intentional or not, has soured a lot of other parts of the show. The clearly impulsive moments that could easily be excused by him being a really stressed out teenager make me a lot more frustrated than they would, had I not known that he would never get better. That he would never stop saying things like that. I can’t even make myself enjoy the genuinely sweet moments with him and Allison or him and his mom, etc. I might hate that he left Stiles’ messages unanswered and skipped an entire day of school during a crisis to hang out with Allison, but I would’ve liked to enjoy their banter, the soft moments between them that are actually really nice. I can’t though, because so many other things about his character have ruined that for me.

It isn’t okay to attack people for disliking a character and throw around such charged words like “racist” and “abuse-apologist” or anything else. First off, this is fiction, and we all need to keep that in mind. These are not real people we’re talking about. Secondly, calling someone racist because they disagree with you (unless they are actively saying/doing something actually racist) isn’t okay and it isn’t an adult way to deal with things. Someone not liking a character doesn’t automatically make them racist. Someone happening to prefer a white character over a Character of Color doesn’t automatically make them racist. Sure, they might have passively racist motivations that even they don’t realize. But it is not up to strangers to come yell and call names without proof. There are plenty of reasons that have nothing to do with race (Not saying “i don’t see race.” I’m saying “Not About Race”) that I like Stiles over Scott, ranging from the fact that he’s physically more my type, to sharing a neurological condition with him, to just preferring Dylan O’Brien as an actor because he makes me fucking cry every time he cries on screen. What’s important is that we self analyze and check ourselves and our opinions to make sure that we aren’t falling into the racist habit of disliking Characters of Color for no real reason. But that isn’t something that other people can do for us, and it’s not their place to tell us what we think. Calling a stranger racist for saying they hate Scott’s behavior in the show doesn’t do anything for racial equality. It just makes people stop listening to the word ‘racist.’

There are times I seriously get frustrated with TW to the point of considering not watching anymore. Of closing my blog and stopping reading fanfic entirely because every single time I read a fic where Scott’s a ‘good guy’ or a ‘good alpha’ or where Derek is glad to be a beta again because he likes following Alpha Scott, I get squicked so badly I have to click out and just sit there for a second to settle. I can’t disentangle the things he does/says in the show from the fic.And I’ve written Good Friend Scott McCall fics. I have multiple wips where he’s either a decent person or he grows from being a dick to being a decent person. With my own work, I know that there’s an awareness to his behavior in the show and an active intent to rewrite/fix his behavior so that he is a nice person. With other people’s works, I don’t have a guarantee (unless it’s mentioned in tags or author’s notes, and I don’t expect people to have to explain themselves that way), and it personally makes me uncomfortable to read something when I don’t know if the writer actually sees Scott that way. It’s a personal preference, and one that I stick to pretty strictly.

Scott brings me no joy, and with him as the main character, I’ve come perilously close to cutting myself off from the most welcoming, loving fandom I’ve ever been a part of (except the Merlin fandom, but I don’t blame anyone who can’t compete with them. They’re fucking magical.). But I’m still here. I still love, if not the reality of the show, then all the potential I see in it when I watch. I love watching Derek and Stiles interact with each other and with the other side characters. I love seeing the glimpses of Boyd that we get, the tiny scenes of Erica, the snarky moments with Isaac. I even like Kira, though I haven’t seen a whole lot of the show where she’s in it/genuinely can’t remember it (I can’t even remember how far I’ve seen total, but I don’t think it was past S4, and I haven’t seen past S2 in months and months) and she spends most of her scenes with Scott, which just....kind of ruins the scenes for me.

That’s the glory of fandom though, of media in general. I don’t have to like Scott. I can love Derek and Stiles instead and I can choose not to read fics where Scott is a major player or an Alpha at all. I can read fics where Kira’s part of the pack without Scott ever getting involved, and see her interact with everyone else. Or fics where Boyd never dies and watch him bake or read or play lacrosse with the pack. I can curate my own experience, whether that means blocking tags or users or filtering fics, or just straight up skipping certain scenes/episodes of the show itself. I cope with my frustrations by coming on this blog and ranting about it. Yeah, this is a public space, but it’s also a space people choose to view. If they don’t like my opinions, they can block me or unfollow me or all of the above. They don’t have to read it, just like I don’t have to read any of their pro-scott stuff. I also read fic that does explore how Scott’s behavior is problematic and cruel sometimes. Fic that either erases him or turns him into the villain, I find fun and interesting and the relationship between him and Stiles cracking into pieces is something I find extremely cathartic, so I read it pretty much every chance I get (though, i’m so picky about fics I read, you’ve no idea). I also write fic. I write the most mushy, self-indulgent sterek fic and Stiles-centric fic and and Scott bashing fic that I can possibly write. It’s a joy and a therapy all its own. Fuck, I’m rewriting the entirety of canon for fuck’s sake and I’ve made so many changes that at this point I honestly have issues remembering what happens in the show, bc I rewrote the damn thing.

At the same time, Scott fans are gonna write their power fantasies. They’re gonna write anti-Stiles stuff and anti-Derek stuff, and whatever else tickles their fancy. They’re gonna make their own rant posts and gifsets. And to be quite honest, I don’t give a single flying fuck. I already have those tags filtered out on Ao3. I don’t follow any pro-scott tumblrs. That shit doesn’t show up for me most of the time, unless it’s not tagged properly, and even then I just click out, take a second, and move on.

No one is required to like or dislike specific characters, and it’s unfair of anyone to tell us otherwise. Fandom is built on choice. The choice to disagree with canon, or to re-envision it altogether, or to love it entirely. No one can take that away from you. So long as you aren’t hurting anybody, just keep doing you, friend. I’m here for you to vent to when it gets to be too much.

#personal #go for it #anti-scott mccall #meta ramblings #Anonymous #rant #much love #I didn't mean to sound so preachy #oops

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edettethegreat · 4 years

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BONUS ROUND (aka part 1.5)- Some additional things for staging King Lear so that Edmund is 100% more sympathetic

Part 1

Due to the fact that the audience needs to be told things via physical action makes this job of mine (ie making Edmund more sympathetic) (that I definitely did not have to do) a whole lot more difficult.

I gotta add in some more stage directions to really push the points I’m going for. So that even the dumbest audience member will get my point.

Casting/ Costumes

-Curan, who I have previously decided is the Captain Edmund talks to later, has red hair. Like, a bright shade of red. Since it’s not a common hair color, the audience will be able to recognize that the same servant is now the captain.

- regarding Cornwall’s costume- This is a very valid example of what I was trying to describe (but like- plus a black jacket)

-Edgar and Gloucester have a very strong family resemblance to each other. Edmund does not. In fact, Edmund looks almost nothing like them. (For example, if Edgar and Gloucester have dark brown hair, Edmund would have light blond hair.) (I know, I know- that’s not necessarily how genetics work. BUT. That’s also not not how genetics work.)

-EXCEPT. Now hear me out because I’m right. Hear me out. This is good. Edmund and Gloucester share the same, very distinctive, eye color. So that when Gloucester’s eyes get stabbed out, it’s also severing the one strand of a connection he had with Edmund. ✨Symbolism!✨

ACT 1 SCENE 1

-At the start of the scene, the stage already has people on it. It’s like. A party kinda but not really? It’s a royal event- a bunch of noblepeople would be there. The Door (TM) (and by now (assuming you read part 1) you should know that The Door (TM) is one of my favorite set pieces here) is on the stage towards the middle in the back.

-you can see Gloucester, Kent, and Edmund walking towards it, ie to enter and join the other guests in the room. There is no wall between “behind” the door and in front of it. Only an implied wall created by how the set is set up. So you can still see them.

Here’s a not-so-helpful illustration:

I do recognize how unhelpful that illustration is. I’m sorry.

-As they approach the door, Gloucester pauses, waiting. Kent stands behind him- waiting to see what he’s waiting for. As you’ve guessed by now, this Earl of Gloucester is waiting for his bastard son to open the door for him. (Headcanon that Gloucester treats Edmund like a servant 99% of the time. Headcanon that Edmund would rather be a servant, because at least servants can quit their jobs.)

-Edmund opens it. Kent’s just like “what- what just happened?”. But Gloucester enters, and Edmund seems to be waiting for him to enter as well, and so he does. (It was this, combined with everything I wrote in Part 1, that makes Kent ask “Is not this your son, my lord?”, ie ??he’s not a servant tho?? Why, Gloucester?? Why are you like this??)

-As I mentioned earlier (I think- Unless I was just planning on mentioning it, and I didn’t actually get around to doing so) (I don’t exactly write these things in order), Extras are already on stage. The whole stage has a “ah yes this is an upper class event. The people here are all fancy rich people” vibe.

-As Gloucester has his epic conversation with Kent, other less high ranking noblemen stand around them as well. They don’t say anything or join in- probably because they’re less higher ranking.I know nothing about the hierarchy of English nobility, but let’s just say that Gloucester and Kent are pretty high ranking people.

-anyway the only purpose of doing that is for the “make Gloucester 100% more of a jerk” aspect of this.

-ie, he’s not just insulting Edmund in private, or in front of a close friend of his. He’s insulting him in public, in front of all the random noblemen.

-everything else I wrote in Part 1 about this scene stays the same.

ACT 1 SCENE 2

-Edmund stands by the desk as he talks to Edgar. (As you’d remember from part 1, he was sitting at the desk as he started his 2nd soliloquy).

-at “Some villain hath done me wrong!” Edgar slams his hands down on the desk. Edmund backs away as he says his lines “That’s my fear....”. He sees that Edgar is really angry (yeah, no kidding.), and is like “oh.... oh he would not hesitate to kill me with his bare hands at the moment.”

ACT 2 SCENE 1

-at “and of my land?..... loyal and natural boy, I’ll work the means to make thee capable”, Gloucester is still facing away from Edmund/ not looking at him. He motions vaguely to him at the words “loyal and natural..”. The line is said in a way making it clear that by it he’s actually saying “well Edgar’s not a valid heir to my stuff anymore, what’ll I do with my land??.... ah, I guess Edmund will have to get them. Oh well.”

ACT 2 SCENE 2

-Not exactly a stage direction, but a second reason for why “his” in the sentence “no more, perchance, does mine, nor his, nor hers” is referring to Gloucester and not Edmund: Kent’s response to this is “I have seen better faces in my time”, so “his” can’t be Edmund, since practically the first thing Kent says about Edmund in Act 1 Scene 1 is “hmmm yes that is a Nice Looking person”

-I’m revising what I said in part 1 (mainly just about where Edmund is standing on stage/ where everyone is standing on stage)- I’m changing this scene to be more in favor of @suits-of-woe’s Cornwall Theory. (HEY PEOPLE, GO READ THE CORNWALL THEORY. I don’t just link it here for fun- I link it so you all can go read it)

-SO

-just to reiterate what I said last time about this scene- Edmund enters to break up Kent and Oswald’s fight with a sword (more specifically- Edgar’s two handed sword that he just used to fight Edgar and stab himself with). His arm is wounded from that one time about two seconds ago when he stabbed it. It’s been bandaged. He’s holding the sword well enough, but it’s clear that he wouldn’t be able to actually fight anyone with it.

-NOW MOVING ON TO NEW STUFF

-at “..come, I’ll flesh ye..”, Kent draws his sword and challenges Edmund. (Wait. His sword’s already drawn, right? Ok then nevermind, he just challenges Edmund.)

-Gloucester, Cornwall, and Regan Enter, and walk a bit onto the stage.

-At “Weapons! Arms! What’s the matter here??”, Gloucester notices the fight and takes like 5 steps away from it. It’s clear that he’s like “nope nope nope not dealing with this today-”

-Regan stays where she is. She’s not particularly scared of the fight, and knows that neither Kent nor Oswald would dare injure her, considering she’s literally the king’s daughter.

-Cornwall, however, at his lines of “Keep peace, upon your lives! He dies that strikes again!” moves to stand in between Edmund and Cornwall- ie facing Cornwall, in a way that would be protecting Edmund. He also is confident neither Kent nor Oswald would hurt him- he’s higher ranking than both of them.

(Illustrated for your convenience) (Scribbled out Edmund bc I didn’t know how tall to make him)

-Cornwall can see clearly that Edmund is in no condition to fight (at least not with a two handed sword). As the next few lines are said, Cornwall takes the sword from Edmund, in a “don’t worry about this- I got this” sort of way. He gently pushes Edmund towards where Gloucester and Regan are standing- in the same sort of way; showing “hey. I’ll deal with this. It’s not your job to defend us. Go chill with the rest of The Group.”

ACT 3 SCENE 3

-remember when I said Gloucester is angry in this scene?

-yeah well I gotta really push that point using some ✨stage directions✨ rather than just “Gloucester yells a lot”

-ANYWAY

-The Door (TM) is turned sideways for this scene, and Gloucester and Edmund enter from the side of the stage

Here’s a totally helpful illustration

-Gloucester is clearly angry, Edmund is Hiding His Emotions (TM).

-Gloucester starts his lines while he grabs the doorknob and forcefully opening the door. As Gloucester storms on to the main part of the stage, he slams the door behind him, right before Edmund could walk through it after him. Because of course, Gloucester has to forget that Edmund exists at lest once a scene. Edmund stands outside the door for a sec, as if saying “......wow.”. Then he enters and joins Gloucester inside.

ACT 5 SCENE 3

-As Albany says “Half blooded fellow, yes!”, last time I wrote that Edmund is momentarily surprised, then glares at him. This time I’m here to change this a bit-

At first I was picturing it like This:

But then I was like, “no,, that won’t make Edmund 100% more sympathetic- that would only make him like 65% more sympathetic.”

-anyway, we gotta raise Albany’s aggression level. Because if they’re equally aggressive to each other The Audience might just. Not get it. They won’t get that we’re out here trying our hardest to make ya sympathize with Edmund.

-So. And Hear me out. Because this DOES have a point. I’m gonna get to it. So to raise Albany’s aggression levels here, Albany grabs Edmund’s tie or jabot (whatever neck piece the costume has. I don’t care how historically accurate the costumes are) and pulls him towards him (in like. An aggressive Way.) He lets go as soon as he finishes saying that one line- he only did it to prove he was serious about challenging Edmund. Either way, he did It in a more pulling forward motion than a grabbing on motion, and so now Edmund is standing on the other side of Albany. (Was this basically just a way for me to change where Edmund is standing? Maybe.)

-now that Edmund is standing on the other side of Albany, the scene continues as I wrote it out in part 1- ie Edmund glares at Albany. Except Albany is no longer standing in front of him (ie facing him).

Here’s an illustration to help out-

So far, Edmund never glared at anyone (or showed his anger in general) straight to a person’s face. He always only lets his mask fall when he’s alone or when the subject of his anger can’t see him. So now it’s more consistent- their positions on the stage changed so that Edmund can still glare at Albany, and also doesn’t have to drop his act.

-AND THAT’S IT-

(-FOR NOW-)

#King lear #shakespeare #I am trying here #I am making an attempt

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abri-chan · 4 years

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great blog btw, weird question but I think your the best to answer it maybe, what is the deal with Gio's age,he is 15 during Vento but a lot of girls I know who are Jojo fans(mostly manga based ones if that makes a difference) are absolutely horny for him and get angry when I bring up him being 15 during Vento or say well in current day he would be legal now so it doesnt matter or he is drawn older looking, but they are still kinda lusting after him at 15, what are you thoughts on this?

If I remember correctly Giorno does look younger in the way, and everyone is kinda twinkier in it than in the anime, but by the end of the manga he looks a lot like Dio in part 6. Especially that panel where he’s holding the arrow after defeating Diavolo I think?

I think this is not an easy ask to answer, because there are several things to consider.

The important thing is that it’s okay to you feel uncomfortable with them lusting after Giorno. You don’t need an excuse to be uncomfortable and if you feel something is not right, it’s okay to express your dislike or disagreement. I know there has been a lot of pushback against antis but I want to reiterate that being uncomfortable with certain things doesn’t make you an anti. The word is unfortunate because you can be against age-up content (and although I am fine with aged-up, I respect your right to be uncomfortable), but that doesn’t make you an anti in the fandom sense. In the fandom sense of the word, an anti is someone that not only dislikes certain content or wishes the content didn’t exist, but they actively go and harass real people over fictional content. The second part is the critical ingredient to make an anti. As long as you don’t harass others over what they like or dislike, it’s your right to speak against certain content or avoid it.

I understand your discomfort, because I cannot say that fiction never affects reality. I know antis love to use this argument, and the problem is they’re not even wrong. The issue is that they take the relationship between the two to be very simple, when in fact there are academic books and papers dedicated to exploring the relationship. Some things can have a direct and easily measurable correlation: for example diverse fiction representation affects marginalized groups positively. Also the way women are portrayed in the media has a direct effect on how men can view women IRL. But it gets complicated because we have to consider who controls the mainstream narrative: for example pornhub will have more effect on normalizing incest than jonadio fanfiction. Then you also have to consider the purpose of a piece of work or media. For example, I believe writers should be allowed to explore certain topics for the sake of exploring, just as artists can do with colors. So are dead-dove topics used by a writer to explore, cope, instant gratification, shock, pushback? How much power does this writer truly have with regards to their position ins society?

Then there are times where fiction doesn’t really translate into reality: for example, are horror writers out there murdering people? Is thinking of a murder the same as murdering someone irl, is murdering someone in the fiction the same as murder irl? We can get violent and inhibited in videogames bc we know there are not real consequences; but wouldn’t IRL because we know you can’t just hurt someone and reset the game. So while fiction affects reality, and reality affect fictions, it’s not always easy to measure how, and it’s not always linear. Also why banning all taboos or trying to police what people like is doomed to fail bc it takes a very simplistic view on human imagination or psychology.

Returning to Giorno being 15 in the series, the aged-up argument is the easiest one to defend IMO, and one I don’t get why people have problems with. We have aged-up examples of characters in JoJo: Jonathan, Jotaro, and so on. If someone can imagine adult Giorno (and I’ve seen some amazing art of Don Giovanna), they are not lusting after a child... Despite what his canon age is, you can’t argue they’re pedophiles bc they are clearly into an art piece that depicts him as adult. Why would someone think of adult Giorno when seeing teen Giorno? Idk why is Araki concerned with making a handsome man out of teen Jotaro (his words, he’s actually very particular about his characters being attractive)? We have to measure the mangaka and the fans by the same ruler, else we are hypocrites. Sometimes imagination takes you there... but once you see adult Giorno, it’s adult Giorno.

Another thing is that in the anime, and later parts of the manga, the characters do act and look older than their canon age. If no one told me what the ages where in Vento, I’d think the teens were young adults, and the adults were late 20s, early 30s. So while Araki slapped an age onto them; as a viewer it’s hard to detach your experience of seeing characters that look and act like adults from some number that seems to have no grounding in the world. I read somewhere that age in manga is used a lot for marketing: if it’s published in shonen jump and it will be mostly teens reading, you slap a teen age on the characters. But maybe as adults, mangakas have a hard time to imagine actual teens (it’s hard to actually write good children characters, and I suppose it’s hard to write teens too). So they end up with adults, but have to somewhat label the characters as teens to get teenagers to read the story. Let’s take someone that we can all agree looks adult, Risotto. Imagine someone told you that’s a 14 year old boy. You have this abstract information of age, but your eyes tell you that is the face and body of a grown man. So what will be easier to process for your brain?

Sure IRL if you knew Giorno was 15 but he looked adult, you clearly don’t get involved. But since this is fiction, it is possible to detach the concept of Giorno acting and looking like an adult from his actual age, because there are no consequences. The age is very abstract in this case... and I feel that’s why some of these fans are doing. They see someone that acts and looks adult, and it’s silly to claim they are 15, because it doesn’t add up. The reverse is when mainstream anime draws lolis and calls them 100 years old adults... you feel uncomfortable bc even though you are given an age, the visceral aspect it’s that of a child...

Now if these fans really lusted for someone that looks 15, that’s another question. And it’s not the same as people writing underage content... bc we have to consider how it fits within the narrative (anyone remember Game of Thrones?).

#anime manga rambles #giorno giovanna #jojo #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #Ougon no Kaze #Golden Wind #Vento Aureo

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durifmdarchived · 4 years

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beautiful tomorrow - fmdverification self para.

date: spring 2021. character(s) involved: moose. about: full composition verification for beautiful tomorrow. spring is when duri decides to work on three compositions in advanced, simply to get them out of the way and hope bc entertainment calls him in soon for his next album. the third and final melody comes in the form of “beautiful tomorrow.” trigger warnings: n/a. notes: again, not due till like sept 2021 but we’re getting em done 8 months early lets go!! also to reiterate, i feel like im terrible at writing compositions and i dont know what im doing (even if bm put it in it’s simplest terms) so hoping for the best here. i am a dreamer verifications are finally finished !! 8 months early!! word count: 795.

Nights, especially during the spring season, was always a lot harder for Duri, to put it simply. Often times, he would just be laying there and staring out into the dark room. It was a bit creepy, always being afraid something might jump out at you, but that was simply just the mind trying to play tricks on you. It was another spring night that he wasn’t getting any sleep, and probably what had made it worse, was the melody playing in his head that seemingly needed to come out. He knew there was one last composition that he had planned to do, so of course, it was like his mind didn’t want to rid of any ideas, and filled his head with different melodies. So, in the middle of the night, he’s awake, in the office, with moose at his feet, going to sleep. The door had been shut to the office so that he didn’t wake anybody up from the sounds of the piano. His notebook had been open to the lyrics of beautiful tomorrow to use as a guideline for the feeling of the melody that he would create. Clicks of a mouse are heard, to him opening the program, to get started on the composition. Fingers tap against the wood of the desk, to get the juices flowing of where to begin and where to take the melody.

He knew, that for a fact; it was another song where the key component to the melody would be piano. It seemed like that was for all the compositions that he would create and did create, as it was his favorite medium, after all. The piano being the base to the melody, the outstanding feature, made sense, anyways. It was simply just the way this ballad, and to be fair, most of his ballads would work. The piano just gave something special to the melody. So, he changes it to make the chords and sounds of a grand piano. He at least knew that use for sure, so that was his current start, before even deciding to lay his fingers on the keyboard. He takes a deep breath, finds a melody in his head to go with, humming it to himself. Before, he’s finally recording it, and his fingers press to the keyboard, to play the melody that was in his head. He seemingly closed his eyes for a bit, imagining the stars outside, and letting them guide him through the creation of the melody. It was calming in a way and if anyone had seen him, it would be clear that he was currently within his zone. For a while, his melody would be nothing but the piano. However, at some points, it would feel like there would be missing pieces that needed to be added to them.

He combs back through the created melody, listening to spots that felt a bit empty, like they were missing something. With a few mouse clicks, he would change the instrument to be that of a violin. Pressing a few keys, he create pieces of music with the violin part of the program to give him exactly what he wanted. He pulled those and placed them in the areas that he wanted, to fill out the melody where it was needed. He’d take a few other things, that made it sound like the melody was rising up a bit, and placed it other areas as well - adding something that he didn’t realize was needed. Once that was done, he moved on to finishing out the end of the melody, by playing the piano once more. Soon, he would complete it, another rather simple composition that went with the lyrics that he had written. Now it was time to go over everything that he had created, to make sure it worked well, it flowed, it went together.

Duri would play the melody from the beginning, and would listen closely to the melody that he had created. He went back and fixed a few things, patched some stuff up, to make it seemingly flow in a better manner, in some way. He’d fix the violin sounds up a bit, and the other wind instrument that had been used within it. After those fixes were made, he listened to it again in it’s entirety, and he was happy with what he was hearing, something that would be polished up later by a producer. He plays it once more, quietly singing the lyrics along to the melody, to make sure the words went with what he was created. He decided it was great, so he saved the melody file, placed it into his completed files, and it was said and done.

Maybe, he could get some rest now.

#fmdverification #⌜ i am a dreamer. ⌝#⌜ self para. ⌝

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silverbastardgoldenfool · 4 years

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Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Assassin’s Apprentice

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

Uhhhhh yep!! I can’t even believe how different it was. Every scene has taken on an entirely different colour and flavour in my memory. I skimmed far too much the first time, yes, but also I just went into it with the wrong framework. I think I’ve mentioned this before but my mum recommended me these books on the basis of my love of A Song of Ice and Fire. She directly compared them and said how similar they were. Because of RotE’s length I had been putting it off for years, and only finally picked up Assassin’s Apprentice because I was itching to do an ASOIAF reread but was (and am) trying to wait until Winds of Winter to do it.

So you can imagine the difficulty settling into a book like Assassin’s Apprentice when you’re expecting Game of Thrones. I remember my overall impression on my first read being that it was a pretty standard fantasy novel with the only really exceptional thing about it being the characters and their relationships. Characters are always my top priority so it was enough to keep me invested and progressing onto the next book and the rest of the series, but I did so not having absorbed nearly as much as I should have from the first book in the series.

Now, just from revisiting that first book, my understanding of Fitz and the world he operates in has exponentially increased and I know that will transform my experience of every book going forward. I really made sure to make myself slow down and read every word; absorb descriptions and just be in each moment without racing to the next one. Overall this book (and all the Fitz books) are much more concerned with the human condition and the effects of abuse and trauma and deep loneliness than being an epic fantasy. In fact it barely reads like fantasy at all; it’s incredibly grounded and focused. Of course the elements are there, but while Assassin’s Apprentice may not be as subversive as the rest of the series, it is certainly not generic fantasy. This book just feels alive to me now in a way it didn’t before against the rest of the series. I can regard it as a beautiful piece of the puzzle in its own right instead of just the setup. I wanna reiterate I always really liked Assassin’s Apprentice but it just paled in comparison to my unholy obsession with the rest of it. Idk this reread just really shifted a lot of things into perspective for me and I’m excited!!

Something you can’t believe you forgot

So so much but most ridiculous GALEN IS QUEEN DESIRE’S BASTARD am I dumb??? I didn’t even remember until it was explicitly stated lol

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

It’s gotta be a tie between the Fool, Kettricken and Patience (realising there is a common theme here of Fitz making an idiot of himself). I genuinely was laughing so hard when Fitz is like, actively making himself smaller and so pleased with himself trying to help the Fool, and of course the Fool’s iconic “listen you idiot” ugh it’s just chef’s kiss baby, that’s what we in the biz call a meet-cute! (I know they have seen each other before, but this is the first time the Fool talks to Fitz). Then of course we have Kettricken who poisons Fitz at their first meeting, and Patience who Fitz continuously embarrasses himself in front of before even realising who she is. The fact that all three of these people end up being some of Fitz’s only genuinely loving relationships makes it even better.

Favourite character arcs

I think I’ve gotta go with Verity and Burrich. Verity goes from kind of a bloke’s bloke (he was so different in the beginning than I remembered!) to being a proper King-in-Waiting. He is self-sacrificial but not for pride; he genuinely cares deeply for his people, as a whole and as individuals, and will do anything it takes to protect them. He is far from perfect, and he could have done a lot more for Fitz when he was younger, but once Fitz is in his eyeline and he is confronted with the life the boy has led he seems suitably shamed and tries to do his best for him. He’s a good boy and I love him!

Burrich of course is just. unlucky. His health deteriorates due to injuries. He gets saddled with some kid and is burdened to bring him up to an impossible standard he has set himself (to not shame a man he has an impossibly high opinion of). He’s deprived of a job he loved and was good at, and most importantly he’s deprived of his boyfriend I mean lover I mean “master”.

His arc is not a happy one at all but it is compelling, and I can’t help but love him and feel for him despite also disagreeing with him on almost everything :)

Favourite quote/s

Unfortunately I don’t have any tabs atm so I couldn’t really keep track, but my heart exploded when Fitz said to the Fool after going into his room, “I wish I had a place that were as much me as that place is you.”

Favourite relationships

Fitz/Fool obviously. Even though they don’t have that many interactions in this book I loved every single one of them. The Fool volunteering to care for Smithy after Fitz has endured a long day of horrendous abuse is just!!!!! Kindness! What a concept! I could really see why they develop such a deep bond so quickly.

Fitz/Burrich is just so real and so compelling and it hurts me but I love it. Fitz/Chade breaks my heart bc Chade is manipulating his way into Fitz’s heart - I think without realising it a lot of the time bc he is lonely too, but the power imbalance is not okay when he is the centre of Fitz’s world for a long time and the closest thing he has to a friend. Knowing how Chade behaves not too much later just makes it even worse when he is so nice in this book because it just shows why Fitz has such a hard time being his own person and saying no to Chade ever.

Fitz/Verity for obvious reasons. Fitz/Hands!! They’re cute but it makes me sad that Hands betrays him in AQ. Weirdly I liked Fitz/Molly way more this time but more their friendship than anything. And next is Royal Assassin and their deeply toxic romance soooooo.

And Fitz and his puppies BUT WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT.

Favourite setting

Do yourself a favour and read the description of the Mountain Kingdom and specifically the palace. It is STUNNING and something I completely skimmed over the first time cos I’m a dumb idiot bitch I could have been picturing a city of huge colourful tulips all this time but fuck me I guess!!

Favourite chapter

As a rereader I think I’ve gotta say chapter one. There’s just so much to pick apart all crammed into one chapter. It still holds a lot of mystery even when you’ve read the entire series.

Most loved character

At this point I’ve gotta say Fitz. That’s who my heart is with during this book and he NEEDS IT

Most hated character

Okay I found Regal a much better villain on this read and hated him A LOT but whomst I despised even more w the very fibre of my being was Galen bitch disgusting!!!!!! Verity was so like, smug?? when he killed him and it was so satisfying. It’s what she deserves!!

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

Literally this whole book was so harsh and I was perpetually emo throughout but off the top of my head, Fitz’s depressive episode after Shrewd and Chade test his loyalty fricking broke me, as did the entirety of Galen’s abuse/training; since I was paying so much more attention this time it hit a lot harder that he is an absolute textbook abuser and the psychological torment he inflicts on Fitz is just. deeply upsetting to say the least. It really got under my skin.

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

Okay this is where I just dump all the notes I took while reading that don’t fit anywhere else. It’ll be long lol so strap in.

- It’s never not funny to me that Narrator Fitz comes across as like a hundred years old when in actuality he is like twenty. Also that he looks back on himself with such a sense of wisdom and superiority, yet we know there is dumbarsery aplenty to come. Amazing.

- I’ve never really registered that for the first six years of his life Fitz had a mother who loved him and I don’t know how to feel about that

- REVELATION THAT SEEMS REALLY OBVIOUS IN HINDSIGHT: Fitz most likely only spoke Chyurdan when he was abandoned, which would have played a huge role in why he was not only quiet but unresponsive to what was happening around him. He probably didn’t even understand that he wasn’t going to see his mother again until much later, and he didn’t know how to ask questions. When he goes to the Mountain Kingdom and Kettricken comments that he speaks Chyurdan like someone remembering the language he doesn’t comment on it, so it’s likely that future Fitz doesn’t register that he didn’t always speak Six Duchies(?). He mentions in the narration that the memory of being abandoned is incredibly stark but not necessarily reliable, and possibly shaped by the Skill, which to me opens up the possibility that his memory is essentially auto-translating for him things he didn’t understand at the time. We also know that at the time of writing this he’s given up his memories of his mother etc. up to the stone dragon, so obviously his recollections of these traumatic events are going to be warped by that. Anyway thanks to my sister for pointing this out and being much smarter than me.

- According to Fitz’s grandfather, Chivalry always knew about Fitz. Don’t know how trustworthy a man desperate to yeet his grandson out of his care is but there ya go.

- Weird and hilarious that Shrewd tries to see Fitz on the day he arrives but then just like. What? Forgets about him? For years? lol

- Chade literally tells Fitz that he is a king’s man now and that’s the most important thing about him YIKES

- Chade becomes the closest thing Fitz has to a friend for quite a long time and that is fucking depressing

- It’s interesting that Chade had to be convinced to teach Fitz. It’s hinted at that there was an ~incident~ the last time they tried to train someone, followed by a long period of Chade being left to rot in the walls.

- Not to be out here diagnosing fictional characters but like.Fitz. Literally has depression.

- Fitz having to turn down Fedwren’s offer of apprenticing for him is so sad. It’s the life Fitz should have had.

- The Fool’s non-binary gender is mentioned as early as Chapter Nine! (Published in 1995! We have no choice but to stan!)

- “So quickly we were all made accomplices in our own degradation.” OOF.

- I really realised this time that the reason Fitz seems so shit at things he trained his whole life for later is because all that training was interrupted by many months of isolation, deprivation and abuse. All at the age of like 13-14. He got out of the habit of subconsciously acting in a way that Burrich or Chade would approve of. For a long time the only person he needed approval from was Galen, and he became completely single-minded about it because that was his means of survival. And you don’t just recover from that - especially since neither Chade or Burrich would give him the time of day for an extended period *after* his training was done. When Chade did finally talk to him again it wasn’t to recommence training really; he just gave him a bunch of tasks to do. By the time Fitz got to the Mountain Kingdom he was completely out of practice, and still managed pretty bloody well in spite of it.

- Kind of related to the last point: I love that while Fitz isn’t a savant at anything he’s a pretty realistic jack of all trades. He not only has an aptitude for learning almost any skill or subject but a genuine broad curiosity too. It’s one of the few things that is just him, ya know? It’s just his personality and something he can find joy in, even if it does also factor into his being used by others.

- Imagine being Burrich and finding out that your son thought you were a dog murderer for like ten years lol ouch

- Fitz thinks about the Fool soooo often in the Mountain Kingdom, pointing out things that remind him of him, or things he would like. It’s v soft tbh I love them so much!!

- Another dumb thing I forgot is that Regal is convinced that Shrewd had Fitz poison his mother to death, which adds a rather important layer onto his motivations lol

Anyone doing a reread feel free to fill this out! You don’t have to use the tag :)

#rote #realm of the elderlings #realm of the quarantine #robin hobb #this has taken many days to finish bc tumblr has been a bully!!

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plague-of-insomnia · 4 years

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How do you make writing goals for yourself? I can't get anything done in time!!!!

Hi, anon! Tysm for sending this writing ask 💕!

Before I answer your question I’m going to take a quick diversion, but I promise it’s relevant, so bear with me.

Many writers focus on word count for goals— and events like Nanowrimo are focused on them.

But the advice I always give people who are either new(ish) to creative writing or are struggling with motivation/procrastination is IGNORE WORDCOUNT.

Throw it out of your mind. Ignore it. Pretend it doesn’t exist.

I have a few reasons for this:

Focusing on wordcount can cause anxiety and guilt. You become fixated on meeting an arbitrary word goal, instead of focusing on just writing. And if you don’t meet your goal, you feel like a failure. I have seen many writers quit bc of this cycle of anxiety and guilt.

Depending on how much you draft, your word count will change dramatically when you revise/edit. For example, the original chapter 8 of Where Demons Hide was ~4000 words, and the second draft I’m finishing up now is almost double that. I expect that the final draft that I post will have yet another shift in wordcount, possibly shrinking a little as I tighten things up. So if you stress yourself out during the first draft, when you go to revise you may realize all that stress was for nothing anyway.

Wordcount is only important if you have an assignment or submission that requires a set number of words, and even then, I would say look at #2, because wordcount should really only play into things in the last draft and be more of a general guideline you look toward as you’re drafting rather than something you use as a roadmap. Do you think the average reader has any context of the number of words in a scene? No. All they care about is flow. Some scenes may flow great with 3000 words, while others only need 300 or they feel dragged out. So I’ll reiterate: word count doesn’t matter.

So now that you’ve tossed word count in your mental wastebasket, we can get to your question about goals.

I always set my goals in two stages: immediate and overall. And I always set these goals in terms of scenes or chapters.

So my immediate goal might be “finish the scene with Sieglinde and Sebastian” while my overall goal is “finish the revision of chapter 8 of WDH.” Immediate goals are one that I will attempt to finish in a single writing session and are comparable to a wordcount goal.

If you have a particularly big scene, it’s fine to break it down into even smaller pieces, so you could say, “write the fight with the boss” as a sub-goal rather than “write the final confrontation scene.” Breaking things up like this can be especially helpful if you have a scene with different aspects, like a dialog moment and an action moment, or a long sex scene that has a foreplay and main sex component, etc.

The important thing is to break your goals into meaningful pieces that you can realistically achieve in one writing session. Everyone works at different speeds, some scenes/aspects take longer to write than others, and it can take a little time for you to find exactly what breakdowns work for you. (And that’s OK!)

You can even set your immediate goals out of the order in which those scenes happen if you feel you need to, or skip a scene you’re struggling with. It’s better to end up with 90% of your goals achieved and then tackling that last one then getting stuck when you’re only 10% in and grinding to a total halt.

I almost always have several goals at once, which I rank in terms of what I want to accomplish first. However, I give myself the flexibility to work on another goal if I’m stuck/not feeling a particular project on that day. This system allows me to “triage” and tackle the most important things first, and helps keep me organized.

Don’t forget to forgive yourself if you don’t meet your goal. Maybe you had a headache and couldn’t think as well as normal. Maybe the scene was more complicated than you’d expected, or you didn’t have quite enough research done for it. Maybe the dog next door was barking and you couldn’t concentrate.

It’s OK! Instead of focusing on the negative: “I didn’t finish the scene,” focus on the positive: “I got a good chunk of the dialog hammered out.”

Remember that this is a draft. Even if it’s a revision you’re doing, it doesn’t have to be perfect. The important thing is laying down a foundation that you can tweak later.

Even the worst paragraph can be fixed or expanded upon later, but you can’t work from nothing. So any progress is progress.

Part of the reason I break my goals into bite-sized chunks within a larger piece is because it gives you a sense of progress.

For example, if you’re working on a long chapter, if you tackle it scene by scene it won’t feel as daunting as it may have otherwise. Plus, you can see your progress building as you finish scene after scene! Before you know it, you’ll have met your overall goal.

But now maybe you’re wondering how do you even figure out what a “writing session is”?

This depends on a lot of things and it’s not something I can set for you. Some people only have a limited amount of time to write, while others have more flexible schedules.

My suggestion is to set yourself an alotment of time to write on a regular basis. Maybe this means writing an hour before bed. Maybe it means writing during your lunch break. Or maybe you can only write on the weekends.

But the important thing is to set your schedule during a realistic time—if you know you’ll be too tired to write before bed then find another time—and stick to it as much as you can.

It doesn’t have to be every single day, if your health/schedule doesn’t allow for that. But it has to be regular or you will struggle to meet even the smallest of goals. So even if it’s only one day a week, you need to only skip a day if you really absolutely have to, and get in that habit, create that self discipline.

For example, ideally I write every week day for maybe ~5 hours total. I usually take the weekends off bc having down time is important.

I can’t do keep that schedule all the time because of my health, and it’s frustrating, but that’s part of it. As long as you put your butt in your chair and work when you can, that’s what matters. Decide what you’re going to tackle for that session and go for it. Don’t edit. Don’t check your word count and limit your distractions.

I put my dogs away, go to my computer, with a beverage, and write. I do take breaks. In fact, I’ll sometimes even set a time goal for myself (“I’ll write for two hours or until I finish my scene”). Timed goals can work really well for some people, though I’m not a big fan of them myself for a lot of reasons. I use them less as a goal and more as a way to make sure I don’t overwork myself.

I didn’t mention it, but you can also set goals for what I call “writing adjacent” things, like research, coming up with titles, etc. I sometimes do this, and those work themselves into my goal sheet along with my scene and chapter goals.

I really hope that helped you a bit, anon, and wasn’t too rambling! If you have other questions about this or anything else, feel free to send another ask. Good luck and happy writing 💕!

#my writing advice #my writing process #setting writing goals #writing #writblr #poi answers #long post #anon

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clunelover · 4 years

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Okay I haven’t been posting much about how online kindergarten is going. Overall, I’d say: sucks, but could be worse. Interesting to see what our relatively poor school is doing compared to my friend with a kindergartener in Ritzy Suburb school? Feels pointless but I know it’s not. Oh and really glad I’m not doing this with a kid further along in school where there are grades and stuff bc that would be hard!

Now I will do a specific gripe with an example. Edie is bad at listening to directions, both from me and from the teacher. She is also surprisingly bad* at grasping certain concepts that feel easy to me, so easy that it’s hard to even explain them. So GO KINDERGARTEN TEACHERS for doing those explanations and being nice and helpful the whole time.

*probably normal and shouldn’t be surprising, but I will admit that since she’s so good at reading and math, I just expect her to “get” everything...but I shouldn’t.

Example: yesterday I TOLD HER show me your assignments before you submit. Over and over. But while I was in the bathroom, she submitted. For an assignment that was "take two objects and line them up end to end. take a picture. circle the object that's longer" ....she submitted a picture of herself smiling with a heart drawn around it. So I realized this and made her delete it and start over.

For her objects she picked: an AA battery, and a mini gold-cased extendable tape measure she likes to play with. I asked which object she'd circle and she said the tape measure. but without the tape extended it's not longer. I tried to explain this. She extended it. I was worried it wouldnt stay extended but it did. I won’t try to explain all the different bizarre configurations she did that were not end-to-end, but basically it boiled down to her being completely incapable of understanding that the tape measure as an object is the whole thing, the gold part and the tape part. So in her picture she just circled the tape part. We had an in depth discussion about how the object is all of it. I have her try again.....she circles just the gold part. There were tears. I wasn’t yelling and I was trying not to sound exasperated, but I was just so surprised and perplexed that I guess I had trouble keeping that out of my voice. I kept picking the tape measure up and running my finger along it and saying “so the tape measure is this whoooooole thing! The tape is a part of it! They’re connected, right? Okay try again” [does it wrong]. I told her she did pick a kind of complicated object, and would she like to pick a more clear cut object that’s in just one piece. Screaming and more tears. So anyway, I reiterate my respect for teachers. Not that I didn’t have a lot of respect already! But even more now.

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sheonvinyl · 5 years

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the snl standby line ~experience~

um. wow.....

so i’m making this post mostly for myself and to have a documentation of these memories while its all still pretty fresh in my brain, but i figured i would share it on here too just in case anyone wanted to read it or chat about it all w me. (side note: if u were in the line too PLS hit me up we MUST discuss)

basically, long story short is my friend and i slept on the streets of nyc for three nights in below freezing degree weather, got standby tickets for the live show and were able to get in......like i was THERE. for the snl LIVE taping.

feel free to keep reading below the break if you want an extremely detailed description of the whole ordeal and my personal experience that no one asked for dsjkhfksdjh

to be frank our journey did not start out as we had originally planned lmao. when harry announced that he was doing double duty my friend and i immediately were like. let’s start planning bc we’re 100% going. that resulted in a lot of amazon prime orders and reading up on blogs about tips and tricks in order to plan. we were trying to gauge how far in advance we were going to have to get in line in order to have a good chance. we got a lot of our info from a twitter account/blog run by these three women who have been to every show this season and been in the standby line every week so we trusted their advice. they have been so many times that they apparently have a relationship with the security ppl and are in contact with them. and obviously since it was harry this week, there was a lot more buzz about it and higher stakes of actually getting a ticket. people had been tweeting about lining up on MONDAY in order to be in the front of the line. this account reached out to people and nbc and said that security didn’t want anyone lining up before thursday and if people did, they would be asked to leave and not allowed to get back in line again. finding this out made us panic a bit bc we didn’t want to get thrown out for breaking the rules or anything like that. we originally decided to finish up our days at our internships on wednesday, head back to our apartment, gather up all our supplies and head to 30 roc around 10 so that we could be ready to get in line at midnight aka when it would officially be thursday.

however, when i woke up wedensday morning amidst all the news about harry’s tour dates etc. there was an update that there were ~20ish people in line already. and that set us into a panic. we were confused if they were going to be thrown out or not bc they lined up before thursday, but periodically as we checked throughout the day security didn’t seem to be doing anything about it. so we made the decision to get to the line as quickly as possible after work. not sure i’ve ever moved faster in my life than i did when i got home and immediately threw anything i thought would be remotely useful into my duffle bag. the state of my room right now? despicable.

we make it to the line a little bit after 8 pm and after an initial assessment, we were around #70-80 in line. and based on that, we decided to stay and set up camp bc we thought our chances were pretty good. (for reference: when the standby tickets were handed out on saturday morning, we were 86th and 87th in line so the number definitely fluctuated based on when people counted us and people maybe being in the bathroom during the count etc.)

everyone around us in line was super super super nice and the ppl we met thru it will def be homies for life. we went through too much together not to be bonded for life ksjdhfksdh. shout out to aisha @teafull specifically !!!! we really did that luv......miss u and kristina already babes xoxoxox

wednesday night was definitely the worst sleeping-wise. our set up originally was a waterproof tarp on the ground and then a yoga mat that my friend used as a bed and then our two camping chairs next to the yoga mat. for the first night, i slept in the camping chairs using one to sit in and having my legs propped up on the other one. we each had two blankets and were wearing more layers than i could ever count. we bought a shitton of feet warmers, toe warmers and hand warmers in preparation, but we didn’t really get the hang of using them until the second and third night lol. i woke up probably every hour and a half on wednesday night bc i was either uncomfortable or just so unbearably cold. every time i woke up i made sure to move my toes around bc i was so paranoid i was going to get frostbite lmao.

thursday was better. we actually got the hang of the hand and feet warmers!! we figured out that if we were wearing shoes they didn’t really work because they were being suffocated and they needed to be in open air to work properly. they worked exponentially better if we didn't wear shoes bc they were exposed to the cold air and heated up really well so that’s a useful piece of information out of this i guess?? sdjhkds. at this point i think there were about 150 people in line. the line wrapped from the back of the nbc building on 6th ave/avenue of the americas around to w 48th street as far as the nintendo store which ends right at the today show plaza (and it got even longer over the next two days).

one of the worst things about the whole experience would probably have to be the incessant comments from passerbys on the street. they would look at us and speak about us as if we weren’t there. they would also film or take photos of us in the LEAST discreet ways possible which was very irritating. and made me feel like a literal zoo animal on display. i heard comments like “they know the show is on SATURDAY right?”, “they’re doing all of this for that one guy from one direction?”, “do your parents know you’re doing this?”, “you’ve got to be kidding me”, “they’re going to freeze to death for not even a guaranteed ticket to see this guy” and by far the absolute worst one and most offensive thing i heard, “they’re like the modern day homeless”. i could go on a whole separate tangent about this because it makes me so FUCKING angry, but i was very close to confronting some people because of the impeccably inconsiderate, insensitive and blatantly classist comments people were making straight to our faces. additionally some people in line were being harassed by people from radio stations (or people posing as employees of radio stations) that clearly had the agenda of making it seem like fans of harry are dumb and unaware of world issues etc. you can read a more well-written and detailed account about it all on aj’s blog here. but i’ll reiterate that they definitely chose the wrong group to mess with!! the issue was dealt with in record time and i’m proud of and thankful for all the people who stood up to that asshole and put him in his place. he deserved it.

i slept the best on thursday night into friday. probably because i finally had the common sense to buy GLOVES (someone lmk why i thought it was okay to come without them ??? ) as well as buy an extra blanket at a barnes and noble nearby. one of my roommates was also kind enough to bring me her yoga mat and two extra pairs of pants to add to my layers. those two extra layers 100% made a difference. not much happened in the line on friday besides a little bit of drama between a couple of girls at the front of the line who apparently left for 10+ hours that day and (to my knowledge) weren’t kicked out of the line. i don’t want to speak too much on it because i wasn’t directly involved in any of it and only heard it by word of mouth. however, i will say i think there was definitely some suspicious activity from some people that were in line who were for example, using lawn chairs (which are specifically prohibited on the snl webpage) and abusing their break times.

at 7 pm on friday, the line was shifted so that the beginning of it started at the doors to the nbc studio. i think they do this mainly so that the pages who hand out the standby tickets have easier access to the line? but i’m not positive. our new area was now on 6th ave, smack dab in front of the rear end of 30 roc, basically where the line had originally started. with the amount of people in line (probably around 200 or so at this point on friday) it STILL wrapped around to west 48th even after the shift. and then not even 20 minutes after they moved us was when snl interns came down with CARTS of slices of WATERMELON and CHERRIES !!!!!!! when i tell you i lost it.....

i didn’t get a good picture of the cherries but you get the idea. one of the interns giving us info about what was going on said that harry “was very specific about giving you guys cherries and watermelon” sjkdfhksdjh. and because of his previous behavior w the kiwis i was like....well he’s not playing watermelon sugar then we’re just going to have to prepare for something else. and let me tell you, i have never been more happy to be wrong in my entire LIFE.

additionally, a couple of men, who i believe worked for snl or nbc, came around with carts of soup for all of us. they didn't confirm or deny that harry sent them (which makes me think he probably didn’t), but the two options were either chicken and sausage or split pea. yes, that’s correct. SPLIT. PEA. when they told me that, i shrieked in their faces, “YOU’VE GOT TO BE JOKING” and they just looked at me so weirdly and go, “......no? like which one do you want......” skdjhfkjsdh. they definitely thought i was absolutely off my rocker (which i certainly was, but that’s besides the point). i’m pescatarian so i chose split pea, and if there’s one thing to know about me it’s that i absolutely ABHOR peas, but i ate it anyway. i had to use all of the oyster crackers as well as some pretzel crisps that i brought with me as a snack in order to make it bearable LMAO. however, regardless of if harry sent it himself, it was a really nice gesture and i’m thankful that they were kind enough to provide us with some food. the snl staff also sent down hot chocolate and coffee and pizza over the course of the three days which was very much appreciated as well!

we were a lot less separated in our new spot on 6th ave so everyone in line was able to hang out with each other a lot more which as really fun!! a girl near us had brought cards against humanity and a group of 7 of us played for what felt like over an hour or so which was really good time. aisha won and no, i am not salty about it at all !!!!!1!1!11!11!!!!

it was really difficult to sleep that night as well because we were on a much busier road with a lot more lights. it also felt colder and windier despite windscreens that staff put up around our barricades (see the poor quality pic of my friend and i with one of them below LOL). i think everyone was really on edge for the next morning so i’m sure that didn’t help with sleeping either. we settled down to go to bed a little past midnight and i woke up at least three times throughout the night to readjust my blankets and sleeping position or check the time.

finally saturday morning came. my friend had to shake me awake at 6:30 am bc i was finally able to doze off again, but the panic in me immediately activated and i was UP and ready to go. we still hadn't come to a full decision on if we were going to choose dress rehearsal or live yet so we were definitely on edge. we basically wanted to wait until the pages came to us and ask them how many people chose live vs. dress so that we could choose the show we were more likely to get into. however, deep inside i know that we both desperately wanted tickets to the live show. we had been keeping track of other people who were farther up in the line via their socials and seeing what they were choosing too. surprisingly (at least to me), a lot of people ahead of us decided to choose dress rehearsal rather than live. in theory, it makes sense because you’d hopefully get to see more sketches that might get cut for time as well as “spend more time” w harry. my friend and i (who is probably the biggest snl fan on the planet, no lie) would’ve been happy with either, but we both definitely wanted to witness the show that everyone else was going to watch on tv.

when the pages got to us we found out that it was basically split 50/50. an equal amount of people decided to do live vs. dress. for either show we chose, we would’ve been in the 40s for our standby ticket number. and because of that, we decided to SEND IT and sign up for tickets for the live show (and partly because all our friends in line were also sending it w the live show too!!!). we were tickets #41 and #42 and we honestly felt really really good about it, but we didn’t want to discuss it too much or get our hopes up in the event that it didn’t end up working out.

after that, the actual standby line experience was basically over. we IMMEDIATELY grabbed all our stuff and ubered back to our apartment. our roommates were already up and they greeted us with lights up blasting through our alexa akjhfkdfh. saturday was also conveniently my university’s homecoming weekend, and as seniors in college, my friend and i felt that it was important for us to go. i won’t go into too much detail about it bc that’s not really the point of this whole post, but my friend and i REALLY had ourselves a DAY on saturday. i actually don’t know how we pulled this off. we ended up showering for probably 40 minutes each to scrub the grime off our body and then day drank from 11:30 to maybe 5 pm........like??? whomst???? luckily, i was able to squeeze in a nap before we had to start getting ready for check in at 10 pm back at 30 roc, but i was 110% hungover when i woke up.

we got to 30 roc at around 9:30 and were told to go to the nbc store to check in. from there they cross-checked the name on your ID and name on your ticket and then lined you up in order based on your ticket number. i don’t think i realized how many people actually ended up lining up for the standby line until we were there....people had ticket numbers all the way up #267 or something. that’s CRAZY!! after a bit of waiting (maybe half an hour?) a security guy came out and told us that they were going to starting bringing the group up into the corridor and get the process moving. he made it clear that this wasn’t a guarantee to get in. the first 40 were taken and then after about 5 minutes they sent probably the next 40 or so (including us in the front of that second group). from there, we did a security check and waited in the hallway outside the peacock lounge (anyone who’s been to a taping of snl, jimmy fallon or seth meyers might know what i’m talking about). while waiting there we saw a few people trickle in and go through a security check as well. those people included zoey deutch (!!!!!!) - who was rocking this INSANE red plaid suit combo as well as the cutest bob i’ve ever seen - as well as GLENNE aka jeff’s wife who was also serving looks™️ with her outfit.

security then moved us farther down the hallway closer to the elevators and this is where we all started getting really nervous. i had no concept of time bc my phone was running out of battery and i turned it off bc i was paranoid if they saw it they would ask me to leave skdjhfs. it was only a matter of minutes before we knew if we were going to make it in or not. the staff had us line up two by two and kept counting and recounting us. then one of them grabbed a stack of wristbands and counted us one last time before he stopped at ticket #30 and said “congratulations all of you have a seat in the show”. the energy in the room was SO CHARGED. he was handing out their tickets and was urging them to put them on as quickly as possible and then they were ushered into the elevators. side note: there’s rumors that lorne michaels (creator and head of snl) reserves 30 seats specifically for the standby line. so that might be why he originally stopped at ticket #30.

my friend and i were holding each others hands as if our lives depended on it bc it was really make it or break it at this point. a couple minutes later he goes down the line again while counting us and stops after maybe 15-20 people behind us and again goes “congratulations, you have a seat in the show”. my legs literally almost gave out. my friend couldn’t speak to me bc she was trying so hard to hold in her sobs. i had to put on her wristband for her bc her hands were shaking so much LMAO. they quickly usher us into the elevator and as soon as the doors close all of us in the elevator start screaming and cheering bc WE MADE IT!!! but we quickly quiet down because we had been told beforehand that if we were excessively screaming during the show that we would be removed. i’m pretty sure that during dress rehearsal the staff said someone was shouting distracting comments at harry during the pauses and they were kicked out. someone else was also kicked out for drinking which......blows my mind. but anyway.

when they elevator doors open we are ushered SO FAST into the studio and into seats. i almost got split up from my friend bc the page tried to sit me in a single seat and i was like “no no no, i’m with her”. luckily they were able to sit us together on the back wall of the section that was facing front. they weren’t actual seats, but rather a large cushioned bench. most of our standby line peeps were sat in the right-most section of the studio which was sad that we couldn’t sit next to everyone, but also glad that my friend and i were sat together.

the taping started no more than 10 minutes after we got there. it all happened so quick and i don’t think i’ve really fully processed everything that happened. i won’t talk too much about the sketches because you can all just watch them yourself but i’ll talk a little bit about some of the behind the scenes things that we witnessed.

1. the way in which harry RAN between scenes and sketches was INSANE sdkfjhsdkjfh. right after the monologue he basically LUNGED off stage. a staff member (i think its a woman who does wigs for the snl cast) was moving so fast past the main stage after the cameras cut that from what i saw, the way harry had moved so quickly made her TRIP and harry IMMEDIATELY scooped her up basically DRAGGED her backstage skjdfhksjdhfdjkshk. it all happened so fast i still can’t tell if i imagined it happening or not but it was crazy. either way, harry was on the MOVE.

2. one of my fav sketches by far was the lamaze class one. harry did SUCH A GOOD JOB SFKHSKJDHFSD especially w the accent????? (he actually did so many accents throughout the show i’m so proud of him). he broke a little bit during the lamaze one but as far as i remember that’s the only time he broke?? which??? that’s honestly impressive, especially for the sketches/jokes they were doing (don’t even get me started on the Sara Lee sketch....). also i wasn’t openly jealous of heidi gardiner because of how harry was holding her and caressing her but i was jealous. i will not speak more on this topic.

3. the slow/ballad version of lights up.............BREATHTAKING. there was not a sound in that studio literally everyone was so mesmerized by it. it was honestly gorgeously performed and the back up vocalists did SUCH and amazing job!! the music stage wasn’t really near us but we still had a good view of harry himself and THAT OUTFIT. it was......chefs kiss.

4. when the ballerina photos came up on the screen there was an audible GASP that ran through the audience. i shrieked. i almost grabbed the woman’s hand whom was sitting next to me and i did not know. that is all.

5. WATERMELON SUGAR !!!!!!?!?!?!??!?!!!!!!!! y’all. have i got a story for you. when the drums hit right before the first “high” my friend and i went FERAL. we were on the edges of our seat the WHOLE song. i had such the urge to stand up and dance but we couldn’t out of fear of getting kicked out ksjhdfkjhs. the entire song we had our hands in the air grooving to it, i was flailing my limbs as MUCH AS I POSSIBLY COULD to jam out to it. additionally, if you watch the performance back you can actually see that harry’s hands are shaking and he’s fiddling with his soundbox on his back during the beginning of the song. we’re pretty sure that his earpiece wasn’t working so he was freaking out a bit. he started to dance a little, but you can kind of tell that he was a bit stiff, maybe because of nerves. then at one point, he looks to someone off stage to his right and he smiles at them and laughs a bit to himself. after that, he starts looking around at the audience up above and there are times that harry looks over to his left EXACTLY in the direction of where my friend and i were sitting/dancing. my friend who has literally ANALYZED this performance from watching it so many times claims that 2:15 is the exact moment that he looks over sees us flailing our entire bodies. and right after he looks over is when he really starts moving and grooving himself and appearing to look a bit more comfortable. while we don’t know FOR SURE if he really did see us or started dancing bc he saw us jamming out, i do want to mention that we were literally the ONLY people in the studio moving like that. we were in the back corner by the sound guy and one of the exits and sitting next to a middle aged married couple who were looking at us like we were certifiably crazy. we had a view of almost everyone in the audience because we were in the last row and as far as we could tell, we were the only ones that were jamming out as hard as we were. so take with that what you will. but from this time forward, i will go on with my life believing that my uncontrollable bodily reactions to hearing watermelon sugar LIVE perhaps made dear harold feel a little less nervous and more comfortable to do his thang :-)))))

i don’t think i’ve clapped harder for anything in my life than i did when he finished performing watermelon sugar and when he signed off the show. i teared up watching him go around to his band and all the cast members giving them the BIGGEST hugs. you can clearly tell that every single person on that cast had the best time with him this week. heidi and cecily both mentioned in their instagram posts about how agreeable he was to everything and how he has to come back to host again. it was clear that he had SUCH a fun experience and he did SO WELL!!!!! i have no doubt in my mind that he is going to host (or do double duty) again at some point in the future. so to those who were in the standby line and didn’t make it in to the taping for live or dress, don’t lose faith. there will for SURE be another opportunity to do this whole thing again. i am so so proud of everyone who was brave enough to face the elements for even a chance to get a standby ticket over these past couple days. you’re all so strong and such warriors. this is certainly not the last time he’ll be doing this.

as grueling and testing as the whole camping out on the streets and standby ticket experience was, i would do it all over again in a heartbeat. i’m a senior in college and was privileged enough to be able to skip some classes and call out of work in order to do this. i figured that this time in my life is probably one of the only chances where i’ll be able to actually drop everything and sleep on the streets for three days to see one of my favorite people in the world. and in the end, it was all worth it. i couldn’t be prouder of harry and what an amazing job he did last night. this journey is something that i will cherish forever (and will definitely be telling my kids about in the future).

feel free to message me or drop in my inbox if you have questions or want to come chat about it all ! thanks to anyone who actually had the patience to read this whole thing. i’m so sorry for how unbearably long this was dkjfhsdkjhsdk. much love to you all. treat people with kindness :-)

#its embarrassing how long this actually took me to write #im so sorry sdkjfhksjdh #please excuse any and all typos/grammatical errors #this was basically written as stream of consciousness #now i have to go deep clean my room #wish me luck !!!#harry styles #harry on snl #snl #text

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eternaldipshit · 5 years

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chap 5 aside

okay so i just posted chapter five and idk how much i wanna address of what i’m feeling when no one even follows this blog but i want to get it all out before i forget

it’ll probably be reiterated in the next chapter notes if i remember but omfg i really showed my age by having to google ‘chef’s kiss’ after two people used it in comments like omfg i thought it was like a reference to another piece of media? that i was somehow unwittingly ripping off?? and then i saw what it actually was and i, for the first time, felt like an Actual Fucking Boomer

not that i’m THAT old but holy shit. i am so out of the loop these days.

anyway the comments i’m getting are soooo fucking nice and i kind of want to respond to them but i’m so awkward and just really not into the whole socializing thing right now for reasons so just know that i’m reading and using them all as encouragement whenever i feel down on myself about this actual dumpster fire of a fic

so let’s see what else i wanna say about tubtuh before i forget uhh

so originally the plan was haha jk there was no plan but originally i had dave completely disenchanted with bro like just. idk. i was looking at it black and white, but after having a conversation with my father (who was psychologically abused as a child) i realized that this shit is A LOT more complicated. well to be fair to me i always knew dave’s relationship with bro was complicated af but i wasn’t giving it the proper depth that it should have. i think even after dave recognizes that he’s been abused and fully acknowledges it, he’ll still love his bro on some level. this is the guy he looked up to massively after all, who raised him, and who dave tried to emulate for a long ass time (though that might have been partially out of fear?). idk if i’ll ever do this complicated dynamic justice but i’m trying to make it as in-character as poss and i’m worried i’m fucking it up idk ughughugh

that wasn’t very coherent but moving on

i’m not good at writing dirk not only because he’s a hundred times smarter than me, but also because his character wasn’t as fleshed out as dave’s was (at least in my opinion) and part of the reason i was so excited about the epilogues was bc i wanted to see more of dirk finally after all these fucking years!!! and then the epilogues shot that hope in the head and shat on its corpse so i tossed that whole experience into an incinerator and tried my best with what was given before that.

granted, some of his character was influenced by what all i read in that horrid piece of garbage - see: his breakdown in that last chapter. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again - my take on epilogue dirk was that his enhanced prince of heart powers exacerbated his underlying issues with megalomania and his need to be in control. i don’t consider it out of the realm of possibility. even if i fucking loathed it to hell and back, it can be justified.

i also see it as a flaming pile of horseshit tho, so there’s that. if you want to see my unfiltered thoughts on the epilogue, i’m pretty sure it’s the first post i ever made on this blog lmao fuck the epilogues.

uhhhhh another thing i’m worried about is... pretty much all the beta kids lmao. i don’t think i have any of their voices right. also don’t wanna spoil anything but i really... never shipped dirk/jake with the exception of when it was first introduced and i was actively thrilled for an actual gay couple in a piece of popular media (which was a way bigger deal back then than it is now) and then things progressed and i just... jake seems... aromantic to me? i don’t think he’s asexual, but he only ever entertained the idea of romance when he felt romantic intentions directed at him. also, in his relationship with dirk (what little we saw of it anyway), he didn’t seem super into dirk in like the romantic sense? idk. i mean i know dirk was overbearing af but jake’s heart just didn’t seem in it and after that i’m pretty sure he’s like ‘i think i’m not meant for romantic relationships’ but i’m too lazy to check.

and i know that’s going to be a point of contention bc a LOT of people ship jake/dirk. and that’s fine, i’m obvs not against people shipping it, i just don’t think i would ever succeed in writing a dynamic that i can’t fully get behind? but we’ll see.

also? jane got done fucking DIRTY in the epilogues. her and jade were both characters that i initially despised mostly bc i had this thing before college where i hated other women for no reason if they were too girly and heyo now i’m fucking gay.

anyway i love jane and jade now and jade also got done dirty in the epilogues (budum TSSS sorry) and i intend to ignore the epilogues espesh with those two bc again, fuck the epilogues.

and the LAST point i will make in this already egregiously long post is that i have no idea how long i’m going to write this story, if i’m ever going to finish it, or even the direction it’s going. the end goal, though, is a happy ending. because these kids have been through hell and they deserve it.

i lied. the last point i will make: fuck the fucking epilogues.

#tubtuh asides

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