#alright i changed it hashtag vibe

[wintersettled]

here's a little guide for some dc comic recs <3 made quickly so its not the highest quality but this should be good for beginners <333

[kangshxrtie]

ch. 27 ⤍ baymax

you were lying in bed, casually scrolling through tiktok when your phone buzzed with a facetime call. glancing at the top of your screen, you saw kazuha’s name and immediately sat up, smoothing out your hair before answering.

"hiii zuha!" you greeted excitedly.

"heyyy, y/n," she replied with a warm smile.

"so, about your stream today..." kazuha started, a teasing tone in her voice.

you raised an eyebrow, there were so many things talked about in your stream today. "what about it?"

"i heard you confirmed we're dating?" she said, her expression playful but serious. "i didn’t know about that."

you quickly tried to explain. "that was just a joke! i only said it because of the bit we had going on."

kazuha’s smile softened. "i wouldn’t mind if it was true, though."

"what do you mean by that?"

"i mean..." she paused for a second, "after spending the last two days with you, i’m sure i want you to be my girlfriend."

"wait... are you serious?" you asked, staring at her in disbelief.

"deadass." kazuha nodded, her face sincere. "i was gonna ask you on a cute date, but then i saw the hashtag change from ynxzuha to wonyn."

"our ship was trending so hard, i was so happy," she pouted cutely, "but then it sunk so fast."

you couldn’t help but laugh. "you’re cute when you’re jealous."

"don’t judge me," she grumbled. "you two were all cuddled up on stream for everyone to see."

"you know wonyoung’s literally dating yujin, and we were just joking, right?" you reassured her.

"i know, but still~" kazuha stretched out the word.

you leaned closer to the screen, your smile growing softer. "don’t worry about wonyoung or anybody else. you’ve been my lover since day one."

kazuha’s expression brightened. "so… is that a yes?"

you grinned thinking, "i mean… what do i get out of this?"

"first of all, if you say yes, it’ll make me really happy. plus, i can cook, i can take you to japan, and since you like my abs, you can always look at them and touch them without asking now," kazuha offered with a cheeky grin.

you pretended to consider it. "you’re convincing me."

"if you say no, i’ll be sad," kazuha groaned dramatically.

you laughed. "well, i don’t want you to be sad."

"then just say you’ll be my girlfriend, so i can feel better!" she urged with a hint of nervousness.

"alright, yes, kazuha, i’ll be your girlfriend," you finally agreed, watching her face light up as she cheered.

"i can’t believe you asked me over facetime," you said.

"i had to hurry before i lost you!" kazuha replied, still smiling wide.

"there was no competition," you chuckled.

"you never know," she shrugged, grinning at you.

"okay, zuha," you said with a smile, letting the moment settle in.

a comfortable silence filled the space between you both, as you shared a mutual smile, basking in the warmth of your newly defined relationship. everything felt calm, until a random thought popped into your head.

"you remind me of baymax," you blurted out, breaking the silence.

kazuha blinked, tilting her head slightly. "huh?"

"i feel like you two have similar personalities," you explained.

kazuha laughed, clearly caught off guard. "i don’t think i’ve ever heard that before."

"it’s just your vibe," you added, shrugging playfully.

"well if you’re saying it, i’ll believe it," kazuha chuckled, her eyes still sparkling with affection.

the next morning you slowly blinked away and reached for your phone, still beside your pillow from last night, you noticed you were still on a facetime call with kazuha.

"zuha," you whispered, hoping she was awake.

"hmmm," she responded.

"was last night real?" you asked, your voice soft. "are we really dating?"

"i would hope so," kazuha mumbled. that response jolted you awake instantly. you had to stop yourself from jumping up, running around your room, or letting out an excited scream. you needed to keep it cool—at least for now.

"well, that's good. i don't think i could handle another dream," you said.

"what's this dream you and yunjin keep mentioning?" kazuha asked.

"yunjin told you about the dream?" you exclaimed, shocked.

"she didn't go into details, just mentioned it was funny," kazuha replied.

"you don't need to know. it's between us," you said quickly.

"secrets on our first day of dating?" kazuha raised an eyebrow, teasing you.

"it's just something that happened at the sleepover with yunjin. i really can't tell you," you insisted, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks.

"okay, sure. i'll find out one day," kazuha said with a smirk.

"i hope you don't," you muttered, not wanting to even imagine the embarrassment if she found out.

"but now that we've settled that," you added, shifting the conversation, "good morning, zuha."

kazuha's face brightened as she smiled at you. "good morning, y/n, aka my girlfriend."

your heart fluttered. "so, what's the plan for today?" you asked, rolling out of bed, phone still in hand as you started to move around your room.

"well," kazuha began, biting her lip, "i was thinking... since we're official now, we should go on an actual date—as girlfriends this time."

you couldn't help but smile at her suggestion. "a real date?"

"yeah, something simple," she continued. "we could grab some food, maybe take a walk in the park... just spend the day together."

"that sounds perfect."

kazuha's whole face lit up. "really? i'm so excited! i already found this cute café near your place."

you raised an eyebrow. "when did you find it?"

"this morning. i started looking as soon as i woke up," she admitted sheepishly.

you felt a rush of affection and a slight urge to punch a wall from how cute she was. "that's kinda cute," you said.

"i just wanted to be prepared," kazuha added, a little shy.

"i'm refraining from teasing you and going to start getting ready for this date," you said, feeling the excitement bubbling up inside you.

"speaking of which," kazuha added, her eyes twinkling, "you still owe me something from last night."

"and what would that be?"

"our first kiss as girlfriends," she said with a playful wink, making you burst out laughing.

"it is way too early for you to be flirting like this."

"never too early," she retorted, grinning. "now hurry up and get ready. we've got a whole day ahead of us."

you both said your goodbyes, ending the call, both of you were full of excitement for your upcoming date.

now you could finally let out that scream you'd been holding in since last night.

after you finished getting ready, you made your way downstairs to the living room, settling on the couch to pass the time while waiting for kazuha, who had texted that she'd be there soon. you casually scrolled through your phone.

"where are you going?" leeseo's voice cut through the silence. she was standing in the doorway, eyeing you up and down with suspicion at how dressed up you were.

"just out," you responded, barely glancing up from your phone.

"nope, you're not getting away with just that," leeseo said, stepping closer with a determined look. "who are you going with, how long will you be out, and what are you doing?"

you finally looked up, "mom?"

"just answer the questions," she insisted, crossing her arms and trying to look stern.

with a sigh, you set your phone down, realizing you weren't getting out of this. "alright, if i tell you, you can't tell anybody else."

leeseo's face lit up as she immediately dropped onto the couch beside you, ready to hear everything.

"i'm going on a date with kazuha," you admitted, watching her eyes widen in surprise. "i'll probably be out for a couple of hours. we're just grabbing food and then heading to the park."

"date? finally?" leeseo exclaimed.

you rubbed the back of your neck awkwardly. "i mean, it's our second, but yes, finally."

"second? and why haven't you said anything?" she pouted, lightly smacking your arm in protest.

"nobody asked," you shrugged.

leeseo huffed, crossing her arms again. "i get not telling everybody else, but i thought we were close."

"we are! i just didn't want to tell anyone until i was sure," you explained, hoping she'd understand.

"fine," she relented, though still a little pouty. "but you have to tell me about your date when you get back. promise?"

you nodded, just as your phone pinged with a new message. glancing at the screen, you saw a text from kazuha saying she was outside.

standing up, you smiled at leeseo. "well, since i'm revealing everything today... i'm also officially dating kazuha now."

leeseo's jaw dropped. "what?! really? since when?"

"i'll tell you everything when i get back," you promised, grabbing your things and heading toward the door.

"you better!" leeseo called after you as you slipped outside, heart racing a little as you saw kazuha waiting at the front, leaning casually against her car.

"hey," you greeted as you walked up to her.

"hii," kazuha replied with a smile, straightening up and moving toward you. "you look great."

you felt the heat rise to your cheeks. "you do too girlfriend."

"ready to go?" she asked, opening the door for you.

"yeah," you said, sliding into the passenger seat. kazuha went around and got in on the driver's side, and soon you were on your way.

the drive was peaceful, the comfortable silence occasionally filled with light conversation about music, what you both had been up to, and random jokes. every now and then, you'd steal glances at her, still feeling giddy at the thought of actually being on a date with your now girlfriend.

after a short ride, you arrived at a little korean restaurant tucked away.

"good choice," you said, impressed as you glanced at kazuha.

"i did some research," she admitted, her shy smile peeking through.

once inside, you were greeted by the warm, inviting atmosphere of the place. the wooden decor and soft lighting made it feel comforting like you were stepping into someone's home. after being seated at a table near the window, the two of you looked over the menu.

"everything looks so good," you said, scanning the options. "i can't decide."

kazuha nodded in agreement, her eyes moving down the list of dishes. "how about we order a few things to share?"

you smiled. "that's a great idea."

after some discussion, you settled on kimchi jjigae, bulgogi, and a few side dishes like japchae, and tteokbokki. you also decided to order some drinks.

while waiting for the food, the conversation flowed easily. even though you did spend time building a comfortability between the two of you it was still crazy to you how naturally things came with kazuha. though your heart still raced every time you caught her staring at you a little too long.

"so," kazuha began, her eyes meeting yours, "i can't believe we're actually dating now, i didn't think you would say yes."

you couldn't help but smile at the question. "kazuha of course i was gonna say yes, because if we're being real i've been confessing for months now. i'm the one who can't believe this is real."

kazuha grinned. "i get that. i keep replaying last night in my head just to remind myself that it actually happened."

you smiled at her words, and for a moment, you were lost in the warmth of her gaze. the sound of approaching footsteps broke the moment as the server arrived with your food.

the spread looked incredible—steaming bowls of kimchi jjigae and plates of bulgogi. you both dug in immediately.

"okay, this is actually so good," you said between bites, savoring the spicy, tangy broth.

kazuha nodded in agreement, her own bowl almost empty already. "right? we should come here again sometime."

"are you asking me on another date already, zuha?" you questioned as you glanced at her.

kazuha grinned, the corner of her lips tugging up playfully. "obviously. we can't just stop after this one," she replied confidently.

the two of you continued eating, sharing bits of food, and chatting about random things, from stream plans to things each of your groups was planning on doing to little inside jokes that had developed between you.

by the time you finished your meal, you were both happily full, content with not just the food but the company. after paying and thanking the staff, you made your way back outside, where the warm afternoon sun greeted you.

"wanna head to the park now?" kazuha asked, turning to you with a soft smile.

"yeah, let's go," you agreed.

the park wasn't too far from the restaurant, so you decided to walk there, enjoying the fresh air. the walk was peaceful, and you felt yourself relaxing even more as you fell into step beside kazuha.

"this is really pretty," you said, taking a deep breath of the fresh air.

kazuha glanced at you, her eyes sparkling. "yeah, it really is."

you wandered through the park together, sometimes walking in silence, other times talking about random things. at one point, you passed by a small pond where a few ducks were lazily swimming around. the two of you stopped to watch them for a while, enjoying the simple beauty of the scene.

as you continued walking, you found a quiet spot beneath a large tree and decided to sit down on the grass. kazuha sat close to you, her shoulder brushing against yours, and you had to stop yourself from freaking out at the close proximity.

"this is nice," she said softly, her eyes on the sky above.

you nodded, turning to look at her. "yeah, it really is."

for a while, you both just sat there, enjoying the moment. the park was peaceful, and the breeze was cool, carrying the faint scent of flowers.

eventually, kazuha shifted slightly, turning to face you. "hey," she said, her voice a little quieter now. "we still haven't had our first kiss as girlfriends."

you couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips. "we should probably fix that then."

kazuha chuckled softly. "definitely."

without overthinking it, you leaned in. kazuha held your gaze the entire time, never breaking eye contact as she closed the distance between you, and your lips met in a soft kiss. for a moment, the world felt still, everything fading into the background. then, as your lips parted slightly, kazuha took it as her cue, gently cradling your head in her hands. you responded instinctively, sliding your hands to her waist, pulling her closer as if you needed to feel every part of her. your lips moved together in perfect sync.

eventually, the need for air broke the moment, and you both pulled away, breathless. kazuha's eyes fluttered open, her cheeks tinged with pink as she smiled at you.

"i really like kissing you," she whispered, her voice full of affection.

you laughed softly, "same."

kazuha's phone dinged, interrupting the peaceful moment. she glanced at it, and a groan escaped her lips. "i have a shoot i have to go to," she said, "but i don't want this to end."

you smiled at how much she clearly wanted to spend more time together. "i could come with," you suggested, shrugging. "i don't have anything planned today, and... well, only if your team is okay with it, of course."

kazuha's eyes lit up, her excitement instantly returning. "really? you'd want to come? they should be fine with it."

you nodded, enjoying how her whole face seemed to brighten at the idea. "yeah, i mean, who wouldn't want to watch their girlfriend work?" you teased.

her smile grew wider as she stood up and reached out for your hand. "okay, let's go then! i'll just text my manager."

hand in hand, the two of you made your way back toward her car.

before pulling off, kazuha sent a quick text to her manager, and after a few moments, her phone pinged back. she peeked at the screen, grinning. "they're cool with it!"

kazuha chuckled softly, leaning a little closer. "honestly? if you had to leave, i probably would've just snuck you back in anyway."

you raised an eyebrow at her confession. "oh-how many girls have you snuck in before?"

kazuha instantly started panicking, her eyes widening. "i swear you're the first! you can even ask the girls!"

you laughed, enjoying her flustered reaction. "i believe you. i better be the only one though."

kazuha relaxed a bit, a relieved smile spreading across her face. "you will be, first and only for everything."

kazuha finally pulled off and you headed to the large studio and kazuha parked in the lot. "this is it," she said with a shy but proud smile.

"lead the way, zuha."

inside the building, the atmosphere buzzed with energy. staff members darted around, setting up equipment, adjusting lights, and preparing outfits for the upcoming shoot. as you and kazuha entered, the crew greeted her with smiles and waves. it was clear she was well-liked around here.

her manager approached, giving you a friendly glance. "hey, kazuha, and nice to see you again y/n."

"hey! thanks for letting me come today," you replied, returning the smile.

you felt a little nervous being there, but kazuha's presence made you feel at ease.

"of course! kazuha basically threatened us to have you here," her manager said, then turned to kazuha. "we've got a tight schedule today, so let's get you ready."

kazuha nodded then she glanced at you. "you'll be okay right?"

"yeah, of course! i'll just find your members," you reassured her.

as she walked away, you noticed some familiar faces. chaewon, sakura, yunjin, and eunchae were chatting nearby, just standing around talking to you. they glanced over, and their eyes widened slightly when they saw you.

"y/n!" chaewon called out, walking over with a big smile. "what are you doing here?"

you waved back, "just here to support kazuha."

"why didn't you tell us you were coming?" eunchae exclaimed, throwing her arms around you in a hug, which you happily returned.

"yeah, we could have planned something special!" sakura added with a playful nudge. "are you sure you're not here to steal kazuha away?"

you chuckled, shaking your head. "nah, i've been with her all day! if anything, i'm just returning her now."

yunjin smirked, "i bet kazuha's gonna try even harder now that you're here."

"she's good no matter what," you replied.

"yeah but she's definitely stepping it up today," chaewon chimed in, "she wants to impress her girlfriend."

"girlfriend?" you asked, you were curious about if kazuha had told her members about your relationship.

"i meant her future girlfriend," chaewon quickly corrected herself.

"i can't believe you two aren't officially dating yet. she's been asking how to ask you out for the past week!" yunjin revealed.

you were unsure whether to admit the truth when kazuha wasn't here. "i mean, we're kind of... in the talking stage, you know?" you said.

"talking stage?" eunchae leaned forward, clearly intrigued. "come on, you two are practically dating already!"

"i don't know... i think kazuha wants to keep it under wraps for now," you replied, glancing around to make sure no one else could overhear. "it's a bit complicated."

chaewon leaned closer, her voice lowering. "well just know we support this."

you smiled, "thanks vest leader"

as the girls chatted, you felt a wave of comfort. they were welcoming and friendly, making it easier for you to relax. just then, kazuha returned, her hair neatly styled and her makeup perfectly done. she looked stunning, her confidence radiating as she walked toward you.

"hey! you good over here?" she asked.

you chuckled, unable to stop staring at her. "yeah, they've just been telling me about your plans for asking me out."

kazuha groaned sending a glare at the rest of her members who all quickly looked away. she wasn't able to say anything though since she was quickly called over by the staff. the crew started gathering around her, ready to begin. the atmosphere shifted to a more focused energy as everyone prepped for the shoot. you watched as kazuha effortlessly posed for the camera.

during a brief break, kazuha walked over to you, "what'd you think?" she asked, leaning in slightly, her voice barely above a whisper.

"you're actually so good zuha. i can't believe i'm dating you," you said earnestly, and her face lit up at your words.

"thanks! that means a lot coming from you," she replied, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

as the shoot continued, you found yourself getting more comfortable, chatting with the members when you could and even some of the staff.

after a while, kazuha finished her segment, and the crew took a quick break. she came over to you, happy to finally be finished. "i think today went really well!"

"all because of you of course," you said.

"thanks! i'm so glad we're done now," kazuha said, leaning into you. "i just want to lay down in my bed now."

you smiled, enjoying the warmth of her body against yours. "let's say goodbye to everyone first, and then we can head out."

as you both made your way around the studio, kazuha leaned against you, her shoulder brushing against yours. you walked over to where the other members were engaged in a heated debate, their voices loud.

"we're leaving now," you announced, interrupting their conversation.

"leaving us already?" chaewon pouted, crossing her arms. "i thought you were joining our group for a second."

"we'll talk when my contract is up," you joked, earning a chuckle from the others.

"are y'all going back to the house?" yunjin asked.

you glanced at kazuha, who nodded in agreement. "yes. i need some floor time," she replied.

"well, y/n if you get bored, just let us know and we'll come back to save you," sakura offered.

kazuha tightened her hold on your arm, "i'm not letting y'all steal my girlfriend."

at that, the members paused, their expressions shifting from playful to serious as they processed what kazuha had just said. then the questions began.

"actually?" sakura asked, her eyes widening.

"since when?" chaewon questioned.

"and you didn't tell us?" eunchae chimed in.

"kazuha finally did it! i'm so proud!" yunjin said, dramatically wiping away fake tears.

you looked down at kazuha, who was currently hiding her face against your chest, even she was surprised at her sudden attention. "you weren't supposed to announce it like that," you whispered.

"they were gonna find out eventually," kazuha mumbled, her voice muffled. "can we leave now?"

"we want answers when we get home," chaewon said.

"yeah, we will," kazuha waved them off. without waiting for another question, she pulled you away, both of you waving goodbye to the members as you walked out together.

ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!!

an ⤍ just updating bcz it's my birthday! 🥳

[stormblessed95]

have you discussed about the manila fight of jikook?

Anon 2: about the Manila Fight , I do think they were in a fight with each other. Jk's song recommendations , Jk ignoring Jimin , Jimin's face expression also gave a sad vibe... and the fight went on for days i think... But all these happened in different dates so one needs to compile all these dates and moments and set into chronological order in order to form opinion. I really want to read your take on this subject.

Alright! Sorry it took me so long to get to this ask. Here we go though, let's talk about Manila. I probably won't have quite as much to dig into context wise with this one like I did with the Rainy Day Fight because while we can SEE footage during this time, we don't actually have any information given to us over this and what happened. With the rainy day fight we were given some basic information about what went down. But let's get into it! I will say that I do think this fight got blown out of proportion a bit by jikookers and its not quite as big of a deal as it was made to seem. At the very least, it doesn't seem as serious to me as the Rainy Day Fight did. But who knows...

So I do think that in order to try and understand what happened we need to look at things a little more in a chronological order as well as what we're the events that took place before AND after. Gives us more of a full picture. So bare with me for a bit here as we try to set up a timeline. 2016 was an interesting year for Jikook and their dynamics changed a lot, there was a lot of power dynamic struggles, boundaries being pushed and tested, and a new level of closeness.

🔹️In July of 2016 we had the Osaka Vlive, where Tae interrupted JK eating bread naked and listening to sexy music.... we are all fairly convinced Jimin was in that room with him, but that's a different discussion. Followed by Jimins mean girl act to Tae the next day on his vlive.

🔹️August of 2016 brought us both the Own It dance cover and Toyko hotel Vlive where Jhope teases Jimin and abandons him with the live and it becomes very obvious that Jimin has someone in that room with him and things get suggestive

🔹️Also at the end of August we have a very clingy KM at the idol games (I can't remember the name of it, but yall know what I'm taking about right?)

🔹️ September 1st, Jungkooks birthday. Jimin posts 3 different videos wishing JK a happy birthday. One of them all singing to him and blowing out his candles and 2 silly ones. Everything seems for the most part all good with them.

🔹️Now we get into it... The next day, we get JK on Twitter sharing a screenshot with a song recommendation. The song he shared was "Hard to Love" and he used the hashtag "a love that won't work out only for me" with the music stopped at 1:23. The lyric he stopped the song at is "Please come back to me." (1:23 is another numbers theory that is linked to jikook a lot as well... but again, different post). He also posted a video on Twitter with Jhope that day.

🔹️Also on September 2nd, on the same Twitter thread, Jin and Jimin reply back and forth to each other about being really tired, saying goodnight and looking like they didn't get a lot of sleep.

🔹️ Also on September 2nd BTS leaves for Manila. They all seem pretty quiet and reserved at the airport. Jikook do seem to hang out on opposite sides of the group though.

🔹️ Sep 3rd. BTS press conference. People said that Jimin was deliberately avoiding eye contact with JK here. I don't know about that exactly, but his vibe was down during this whole interview. JK did seem to stare at him pretty hard at one point only to look away whe Jimin scooted back and RM was then blocking his line of sight. Some people think Jimin did it on purpose to avoid JK looking at him, but he also could have simply been shifting in his seat. Idk that one is iffy for me. But the vibe is definitely a little more tense for a lot of them. Keep in mind, there was more going on then just a possible jikook fight for all of them here. Tae had just lost his grandma too and everyone was feeling a little melancholy understandably.

🔹️September 3rd as well is when they have their concert in Manila. This is where most people clocked into thinking there was a fight. They seemed to have a distinct lack of interaction during the whole concert, JK especially seeming to not want to do their normal interactions during songs and avoiding eye contact a lot. At one point they have both crouched down on the stage, JK seems unhappy and Jimin seems to be saying something. We see him gesturing but otherwise that is all we got. JK doesn't say anything back and then he jumps up to sing. Jimin does appear a little upset and he stays crouched down on the stage until it is his turn to sing. He stands up and rejoins everyone.

🔹️ Sept 4th Begin WINGS short film is released and Jimin comments under the announcement congratulating JK on it and saying it's super cool.

🔹️Sept 12th. Jungkook recommends another song on Twitter called Beautiful Lies. He once again has stopped the song for the screenshot at 1:23 with the lyrics highlighted "I see the Child in your eyes"

🔹️ Sept 14th. Jimin and Jungkook post a video together with a silly filter wishing everyone a happy Chuseok

They are their normal touchy, clingy, flirty selves for the rest of the year. The 2 other moments of what I would call tension for them would be in December of 2016.

🔹️The JinJiKook Eat Jin vlive where some serious power struggles seem to be happening between the 2 of them featuring a slightly confused looking Jin at some of the things they say to each other but overall lots of general goofiness from the chaotic trio

🔹️And we see what looks like some tension and annoyance between the 2 of them at the KBS Gayo song festival which also happens to be the day that Jimin performed with Taemin I believe. And whenever Taemin is involved, we get the feeling that JK doesn't really vibe with him or enjoy JMs interactions with him too much.

They both just look a little pissed and JM tried to talk to him once, it didn't work and they both sorta just ignored each other and the tension was like a brick wall.

Jimins performance with Taemin here:

We also know that in 2016 Jimin talked about how fostering his relationships was important to him and he did start to focus some more on his friendships outside of BTS, most notable being the padding squad and Taemin. We also know that Taemin and Jimin were probably spending a significant period of time together (probably during the end of the year period) to practice for their stage together.

Was JK perhaps not amused at the idea of sharing whatever minimal free time Jimin had with other people, especially since they had probably recently started diving into whatever it was they were starting? JK has said many times about how possessive he used to be. I can imagine how hard it was for them to find time to simply be together, and not as coworkers or with their other friends. He could have resented having to share that time with now more people? Who knows. There was also a lot going on at the time for Taehyung and the group in general. Whenever they weren't actively putting on the show in Manila, the entire vibe of the group seemed down, and I don't think that was simply because of whatever was happening with jikook. I think whatever was happening with jikook was influenced by what was going on with the group too. Plus 1:23 thing makes me pause a bit with the songs, but otherwise we know that JK tends to enjoy more angsty music and soft/sad ballads, even when he is emotionally fine himself. Soooo who knows.

So what does this all mean? Essentially that yes, they fought. We Don't know about what or even really how long. I don't think this was a big fight though, or a make it or break it fight. I'm pretty sure that was the rain fight. And I'm positive that they have many other fights through out the years that we haven't seen or heard about. I think that jikookers blew this one up to be something more extreme than it was simply because it was something we were able to see. It's normal to have fights over some small things. Especially during this year for them, if we assume that I am correct in that 2016 was a year of change for them and that they decided to actively pursue a relationship together that year. Figuring out each other's boundaries, not just within a relationship but for the other in front of cameras too. The power dynamics struggle, the exploration of each other.... it's all bound to cause a few misunderstandings, a few disagreements and fights to work through and figure out compromises for in the future. And obviously whatever it was, they did work through it all. End of Setpember through mid December was all adorableness, the good kind of tension and somewhat clingy behavior. We had that one moment again at the award show. But whatever these fights were over, they did come out the other end and we do see these dynamics settle into their shift more firmly in 2017. They worked through it and came out better on the other end. Which is why sometimes fighting and disagreements is normal and even needed, it does not always mean a break up or impending doom, it means those 2 people need to work through some shit and it almost always turns out better for them when they do! Rainy day fight though could've gone either direction though lol that one seemed like a bad one.

Hope this all made sense at all... lmao and these are obviously my personal opinions. You are free to agree or disagree as you will. Hopefully seeing the full timelime of the those 2 weeks helps everyone form their own opinions though too. Thanks for the asks!

[spiked-tea-writing]

Haha We’re Married

Wilbur Soot x Fem!Reader

Summary: After successfully hiding your relationship for years, twitter fucking comes and exposes you

Pronouns: She/Her 

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 1kish

A/n: TBH I’ve only listened to Wilbur’s music, I don’t watch his streams. I just really wanted to write this trope for a streamer. This was kinda self-indulgent *cough* hella self-indulgent *cough*, so sorry if it’s choppy and poorly written. Also I’m trying out headcannon forms. Unedited and unproofed

The situation at hand was very complex

The two of you had been able to keep your relationship under wraps for a very long time.

-Since you were both pretty major streamers on the platform, it was just easier to eep your relationship a secret instead of in the public eye

Y’all were young when you got married had already faced judgment from the surrounding community, and you guys didn’t want to deal with the entire fucking internet questioning your relationship

The decision was made before he joined SootHouse, mainly so that your entire personas wouldn’t be based on being a couple. 

It wasn’t that hard, considering that your internet careers had started separate from each other, but it was increasing in difficulty as your popularity grew and you guys had to interact more, especially on Dream’s sever

Then when Wilbur had started streaming in the apartment, avoiding revealing everything became damn near impossible

Of course, there was speculation, rumors, fanart, and a lot of shipping, but the two of you had never addressed it. 

Fun fact: One fanart of you two was so good it was hung up in your flat, right next to a picture from your wedding lmao. 

Twitter was always breathing down your necks, especially since yall both wore wedding rings, but there was never enough evidence to put two and two together

They were thrown for one hell of a loop after both of you had been on Love or Host

The backlash got so intense to the point where you both made statements about how you both weren’t cheating since the relationships on Love or Host aren’t always real-life partnerships. 

Since you were known for your chill streams one day you were streaming a “painting and inevitably smudging my nails” stream when someone made a donation

It was for eight pounds, and the automatic voice read “when is your birthday, and what is your zodiac??”

You let out a giggle

“Um I’m in September and a Virgo I believe. Actually, funny story, my husband and I share a birthday which makes us both Virgos so I’m actually not sure what that means for our compatibility”

The stream carried on like normal and you didn’t think much of your answer

Then the motherfucking robot voice came for your weave as you were blowing on your fingers

“Are you and Wilbur dating???”

You went beet reed. 

“Haha no, we aren’t. I’m happily married.”

And yet again, the stream went on with any further hiccups. 

After the stream ended, you went to find Wilbur somewhere in the kitchen.

“Hello darling”

His arms wrapped around your waist as you let out a sigh. 

“Stream was very long but at least my nails look nice”

He laughed and started fidgeting with your hands

Your wedding band caught his eye

“I’m glad I tied you down.”

“My husband, the romantic.”

Smiles grace your faces but the sweet moment was interrupted by a phone call coming from your streaming room.

“Ahh fuck, I should get that. Could you call the Thai place for takeaway??”

“Sure thing.”

You made your way down your phone kept ringing

You glanced at the caller id which read Father-In-Law before picking up

“Hey, Phil what’s up?”

“Hey, you need to check Twitter. And get Will.”

The line went dead

You were wondering if that was a advil enduced fever dream when you called for your husband

The sound of shuffling feet against the carpet followed by your lank boiTM walking into your room snapped you into reality

“I was thinking Pad See Ew and-“

“Phil called and told me to check Twitter, and I’m hella scared.”

You could see his face drop. Twitter never meant something good/ Either someone died or someone got canceled for being a perv

“Might as well rip off the bandaid and look.”

You nodded and pulled up Twitter

The number one hashtag on trending was #SootMarriageGate

“What the actual fuck.”

“I’m scared”

With a bit of hesitation, you clicked on the hashtag, which directed you to the top of a thread

“After Y/n’s stream today, I’m thinking that her and Wilbur are actually married. Like it’s no longer a bit”

That tweet had an insane amount of replies, and before you could change your mind, you started scrolling

There were a few arguements, but most of the replies consisted of evidence the audience had found of your relationship.

There were so many clips that either had you mention something about the other person, to that time you walked behind Wilbur’s chair, face just out of the frame of the webcam. 

Unfortunately, people seemed to really be catching on

On reply had caught your eye

“We know Wilburs birthday is September 19, and if you look at Y/ns last birthday post, it was the nineteenth of September. And remember, she and her husband share a birthday. I think that that’s not a coincidence.”

You turned to Wilbur

“Maybe it’s time we just straight up tell them.” 

“You’re right. Should we tweet it?”

“Or maybe stream. Just confirm it and answer a few questions. Is that alright?”

“Of course. Should we do it tonight with the Thai food and make it chill??”

“Sounds like a plan.”

And so you guys waited for a few hours before streaming, during which you guys kept an eye on Twitter and got the food. You built a sort of nest on the floor in the streaming room to eat dinner in and give the stream some cozy vibes. 

After stalling for long enough, twitch got booted up and a stream was started. 

“Hey guys I got Wilbur here with me and we are having a chill stream and eating some Thai.”

The stream was just y’all chatting about the food for a few seconds, ignoring chat until finally Wilbur casually said,

“Oh, and what do you want for our wedding anniversary?”

He turned to look the camera directly in the lens, face deadpan. You let out a giggle before playing along

“Hmm, maybe we should just have a day out as HUSBAND AND WIFE.”

Chat blew up as you both stared at the camera, stone-faced. Wilbur stood up, still emotionless, and ended the stream.  

He turned to you with a smile

“That was easier than expected.”

“Honey the stream was 3 minutes long.”

He disregarded your comment. 

“Well now that that’s out of the way, shall we ignore Twitter for the next day??”

You rolled your eyes at your fantastic husband 

“I couldn’t have had a better idea myself.”

[spicypeak]

Rejetfes 2021 - Day 2 Live Reading

A summary of the Carnelian Blood live reading from this year's Rejetfes!

I only bought tickets for day 2 so I’m not sure what happened during day 1

Apparently I can write a lot for like 10 minute live readings but whatever

Day Reading

It starts with Byakuya just being like “And that’s why we should become idols!” Everyone’s all around confused and don’t go along with it which makes Byakuya upset “Pien! I would have been happy if at least one of you was like ‘okie dokie!’ PIEN!!”

Toxin asks why Byakuya suddenly brought up the idol thing and is like “wait you don’t mean you’re quitting EROSION?!” Yoru and Neight bicker a little and Byakuya gets upset again that no one is listening to him. Creha relents and asks again why Byakuya wants to be an idol. Byakuya explains that he heard from event staff about all the other people that were performing at the event, and it made him want to pretend to be one for a little.

Toxin seems a bit interested because it’s so different, Yoru shuts it down immediately then, hoping he’ll shut it down too, tells Creha to say his piece. Surprisingly, Creha isn’t against it because he feels like it’s something he can do. Neight tells Byakuya to give up to which Byakuya yells and threatens to throw a fit. Toxin asks Neight what they should do and Neight relents- Byakuya is all excited before Yoru says he never agreed to do it. Byakuya mentions finding out about some really nice chocolates but won’t tell stupid Yoru.

During this part Yuuya messes up his line

Yuuya: Messes up and has to repeat line Tosshi: Y-you okay Byakuya? Ranchan: Byakuya? Yuuya: aaAAAAAAH!! Chibasho: Byakuya quiet down Su: Really, shut up Ranchan: Stop screaming already Byakuya

Byakuya uses the chocolates to try and get Yoru to agree \ piengaoka dosukoi nosuke / Toxin’s kinda like “Yoru.” but you know in a way that you would say to a sibling that they have to agree because they all know Byakuya won’t stop. Yoru agrees.

Now first things first they need to think of a name for the group! Creha: Is something wrong with EROSION? Byakuya: It’s not that, EROSION is the bestest but... If we were idols having a name that *can’t trend on social media is a no-no.

Byakuya looks up some group names on the net and

Yoru: Let’s see... Marginal#4, Lagrange Point, Unicorn Jr...? (units from Pythagoras Production)

Creha is Oddly hung up on Lagrange Point (Tosshi also voices Shy from Lagrange Point!)

Creha: Isn’t that name fine Yoru: We can’t just steal their name Creha: Then like EROSION Point

Neight says that doesn’t fix the trending issue and Toxin seems to take a fatal blow everytime someone mentions the trending thing.

Creha: Okay, then Lagrange EROSION Yoru: THE “ERO” IS STILL IN THERE

Yoru tells Byakuya to move on since they’re running out of time and Byakuya suggests they think up of taglines next. Neight reads out examples, which are Atom and Rui’s taglines from Marginal#4. Noting how Marginal#4 has a star theme they think about their own, ultimately ending up with a demon theme because their mascot NicoDevil.

Toxin gives his tagline: The Prince of Darkness that Satan abandoned Everyone laughs at him

Yoru: Devilishly bad mouthed? Let’s go then! I’ll fight off anyone that can’t keep up! You f*ckers! Creha and Neight are like  that’s not a tagline

Neight: The genius conspiring against even hell itself Yoru’s like man y’all are so chuuni, that’s so embarrassing calling yourself a genius

Byakuya: The cutie, pien Angel! ... In other words! “Piengel!” Toxin’s like wait isn’t it demon themed

Creha: The Prince of the Moon who shines in the night sky (This is Shy’s tagline) Yoru’s mad because Creha’s trying to steal from the other group again Toxin and Byakuya are like wow Creha you’re oddly invested in this idol

And then it ends with everyone agreeing that rock is for them

Night Reading

Opening with their taglines Creha: The Prince of the Moon who shines in the night sky Byakuya: The cutie, pien Angel! ... In other words! “Piengel!” Neight: The genius conspiring against even hell itself Toxin: The Prince of Darkness that Satan abandoned Yoru: Devilishly bad mouthed? Let’s go then! I’ll fight off anyone that can’t keep up! You f*ckers!

Yoru: Didn’t we say we were only doing rock! Dumbasses!

They start discussing the idol thing again, like maybe we’re doing something wrong here we don’t have the idol vibes. Creha’s like, well I could do it just fine to which Toxin calls him out for just ripping off another unit- but also adds that it fit Creha oddly enough.

Byakuya admits there were still things he wanted to try, Yoru says there’s no way he’s that again.

Byakuya: Sniff... Sniff... 😢 pien... Toxin: Byakuya... We’ll hear you out just this once, what is it you want to do Byakuya: WELL YOU SEE~

Byakuya found out that idols don’t just sing and dance, they do TV shows and movies, stuff EROSION doesn’t do So, Byakuya has the idea that they should do a movie!

At this point Yuuya just kinda stands there for a second, like he completely missed his cue

Chibasho: says line Yuuya: Yuuya: Yuuya: We don’t do movies and stuff so I want to try it!! Tosshi: Byakuya what’s wrong you kinda froze there for a second, you okay? Chibasho: Byakuya? Yuuya: UUUU WAAAAA This like goes on for a bit it’s so funny I love their dynamic so much

Byakuya said he got the same feeling after seeing Yoru and Neight’s play during the school festival (RAD HEAD drama track)

Yoru refuses, again, Byakuya manages to persuade Toxin by mentioning music, and Neight calls Toxin out for being too easy.

No one else is particularly interested so Neight tells Byakuya to just do with Toxin

Byakuya: But that’d be so boring :/ Toxin: EH?! Wait, that hurt

Byakuya tries to bribe Neight and Yoru with food. He can’t get them to bite so he’s like, then we’re just gonna go okay, let’s go Toxin, Creha. Creha like huh??? Neight quickly changes his mind and Yoru reluctantly agrees.

Next the plot of the movie, Byakuya suggests a love story where a bandman falls in love with a girl. Deciding on doing a confession scene Byakuya gives an example

Byakuya: You know, I really like you so much my heart feels like exploding! Would you love me as much as you love my music? Toxin: Come with me to the ends of the world in music and life. I’d be lost without you by my side, y’know. So, come with me alright? Neight: When we first met I thought you were just another idiot. But when you’re around my drums sound so much better, it’s strange. You want to be with me don’t you, then you can keep close and come with me. Yoru: There’s nothing more important than music, to put it bluntly I don’t really care about you. But if you think that’s fine then do what you want. Creha: I like you. I’ll say it until you say “okay.” I like you. I like you... I like you. I can’t do anything but music or singing but if you’re with me I feel it’d be more fun. So, is that okay?

Byakuya: CREHACHIN YOUR CONFESSION WAS SO CWUUUTE!! Creha: Byakuya shut up

So in the end they just had a confession competition, had nothing to do with idols or movies.

*So like every release livestream they had to change the hashtags because we were all under the impression it couldn’t trend because ERO was in the name, that’s what this is referencing

[moonlightchn]

𝖂𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖛𝖊𝖘, 𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖛𝖊𝖘

and basic shit you should know before interacting I guess~

*Disclaimer: all the information this post contains will be based on things I’ve learned over the years and my personal modifications are NOT to be taken as the general rule. This is MY abo concept for this bot in particular. Yall are free to agree, disagree, take ideas, adapt to your own bot, etcetcetc. Bye. Also sorry this doesn't have a read more;;;; I tried :(

Hello, this is (not) JYPe,

and welcome to the first episode of “Admin’s abo concept isn’t probably what you think so we gonna go in dept on this shit hehe ”. This was originally going to be a one part documentary but I realized I would probably keep coming up with or remembering stuff and these would be so LOOONG so I decided to just do it as I go and I’ll use the hashtag “admins abo tmi ” for this yeah. But also remember you can ask questions if you have any or if you don’t understand something because I usually ramble a lot.

Today we’ll be talking about 3 things that seem to be the most important since they’re the most brought up on my RP’s and they are:

Turning/Transforming.

Heat vs Rut.

Mates.

So let’s begin!

🌙 𝕿𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌/𝕿𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌…

There’s two meanings to this concept, one is the concept of turning from human form to wolf form, and the other one is being transformed into a wolf by different means (these usually depends on which story you’ve heard, it can be being the 7th boy child in a family, it can be a bite or a scratch, it can be eating raw meat, etcetcetc).

*This change has now also been added to the Chan’s pack introduction.

What are the definitions of this words? Cambridge Dictionary defines them as:

Turn: to (cause to) become, change into, or come to be something.

Example: “Chan turned into his wolf form”

Explanation: Chan, already a werewolf, turned and changed into his wolf form.

Transform: to change completely the appearance or character of something or someone, especially so that that thing or person is improved.

Example: “Changbin was transformed into a werewolf.”

Explanation: Changbin, a regular human, was transformed /by a wolf/ into a werewolf.

𝕿𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌…

In the classic folklore, turning consists of 2 phases, human with NO wolf characteristics whatsoever, (which is what makes it so hard finding out who the werewolf in town is) and fluffy wolf with some human like characteristics (being biped, having arms instead of four legs, body structure humanlike. The best examples I can think of are the underworld lycans mmm tasteful). Another general rule for classic werewolves was that the person and wolf were two different minds, the person never remembered turning and had no idea they were the werewolf terrorizing town. While being human, the person didn’t even have the wolf skills like hearing or strength. They were just regular boring humans. Another thing was that they had no control whatsoever and ONLY turned during full moon, but I’m not getting into that yet.

Here are some examples (it’s basically furries oop).

Moving on to my concept, I decided to have 3 phases of turning, consisting on:

Human: Basic, simple, boring human. No presence of wolf features whatsoever. YET they can still make use of their skills such as sensitive hearing, smell, extra strength among others.

Half-turn: Heavily inspired by Teen Wolf tbh, SOME features are present and can generally be controlled, such as eyes, ears, tail, fangs, claws. Can even be confused for hybrids. (sumn like this please appreciate my art)

Full-turn: they become big scary fluffy puppies. Let’s remember how they look like.

Channie Chan Chris

𝕿𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌…

As mentioned before, transforming depends on which story you know and what you’re settling for. Generally we always talk about bites and deep scratches. Some of the most known stories about how to become a werewolf are being the 7th boy child born in a family on a full moon, or in Greek mythology, Zeus transformed some dudes into wolves after they tried to feed him human meat. There’s many different stories you can pick from, they’re just one Google away~

On my concept, though, the only way to transform is through a bite, even though I always keep options open.

I will probably be talking about the 3 types of wolves and deepening this a bit more later on.

🌙 𝕳𝖊𝖆𝖙 𝖛𝖘 𝕽𝖚𝖙.

Imma give you a wolf biology class because I know too much useless info and I WANT TO.

Rut: The rut is the mating season of certain mammals. The rut is characterized in males by an increase in testosterone, exaggerated sexual dimorphisms and increased aggression and interest in females.

Heat: The estrous cycle or oestrous cycle is the set of recurring physiological changes that are induced by reproductive hormones in most mammalian therian females. Estrous cycles start after sexual maturity in females and are interrupted by anestrous phases or by pregnancies. This cycle presents four phases, the one known as “heat” being the second one, estrus or oestrus, that refers to the phase when the female is sexually receptive.

What are seasonal breeders and what is mating season?

The breeding season is when seasonal breeders reproduce. Seasonal breeders are animal species that successfully mate only during certain times of the year. These times of year allow for the optimization of survival of young due to factors such as ambient temperature, food and water availability etcetc. Male seasonal breeders may exhibit changes in testosterone levels, weight, and fertility depending on the time of year. Female seasonal breeders will have one or more estrus cycles only when she is “in season” or fertile and receptive to mating.

Wolves fall in all of these descriptions.

What does all of this shit mean and why do I care lmao?

This means that if this was a logical bot I should only be doing NSFW like one week during 4 months a year LMAO no frfr

This basically means that RUT and HEAT are the seasons when the MALE and FEMALE respectively are ready to mate with each other to reproduce.

I’ve seen many male idol hybrids having heats instead of ruts, which I have no problem at all with and am sure no one else does really, but I think you should KNOW that a heat would not make them want to fuck, but get fucked. Heat would be the need to be filled and not fill others. A heat and a rut does NOT have to equal dominance or submissiveness in bots, anyway, that would be like saying being top or bottom determines who is dom/sub and that’s wrong, so just a PSA I guess.

Now, how does this affect my CB and ABO concept?

I’ve never, anyway, read anywhere of classic werewolves reproduction, which leads me to believe that they’re probably sterile. So I will stick to real life wolves rules but on my own way. Wolves are even monogamous and I dont go by that one lmao.

Reproduction rules on my ABO are really simple, ruts are once a month, around 5 days, and each of the guys have different characteristics for them. They’re only capable of getting someone pregnant during ruts, too. I just generally believe all girls are on the pill tbh and I never really use condoms but guys irl please practice safe sex wrap your or your partners willy before going freaky and stay safe.

Not sure if there’s something else to mention here? Let me know.

🌙 𝕸𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘…

Mates are the wolf equivalent of soulmates, but that’s bullshit. I mean, I’m not gonna say they’re not real, I just mean that the general idea of only one person for the rest of your life and if it’s not them you’re miserable is dumb when we’re talking about beings with feelings. Did you know wolves irl are monogamous and mate but if their mate dies they just look for another one and move on? Now you know.

The thing with mates and marks, in my humble opinion, is that they don’t mean anything. Peoples hearts change, feelings come and go, and my wolves are NOT about to drop everything they have for some person they don’t know who happened to be their true mate. In fact, Channie is the only one who believes in them. The mates issue is a bit complex if we think about it over each of the Chan’s, but on a general idea, the mates are not exclusive for the guys, and I’ll probably make a tmi on the boys at some point, but Chan met his mate and it didn’t work out, for example. Mates go further than the marking, btw, mates are a special, cosmic bond. Marks are just that, marks.

And talking about that, we do not vibe with marks. The original folklore states marks as the way a wolf has to claim their partner as theirs and keep away others, especially from an alpha, and they’re supposed to go both ways, so marks between human/wolf, for example wouldn’t be possible. There’s also two marks.

The first bonding mark is generally given during sex between mates and heals, and the second one in front of the pack (there’s a whole social status thing involved here but were not touching that yet) and its permanent. Also marks are literal WOLF BITES so no, they’re neither small nor cute. Just look at these teethies and picture the scar in a neck-shoulder. That’s your bonding mark.

(they're cute tho I uwuuu)

What I’ve been reading around in fanfics and seeing around is that bots have been mated and claimed with marks, which is ok if you’re into that. My chan’s, though, find physical marks archaic, possessive and toxic. And honestly I personally do too.

You may have noticed by now that even though the boys are quite possessive, they’re never trying to scare away others and their sole way of marking is love marks that heal eventually and scenting. Permanent marks are a nono.

They will NOT mark anyone as their mate. Especially Channie plz he’s baby.

This is a personal decision and it does not mean that marking is RIGHT or WRONG. I just personally see marking bites as marking your partner with fire or something and I dislike the idea a lot.

ALRIGHT I THINK THAT’S ABOUT IT FOR TODAY I FEEL LIKE I WROTE TOO MUCH ALREADY??? Feel free to ask questions or request certain topics! I think next topics will be Social Structure, Skills and maybe Self control or Moon Cycles.

If you read all of this WOW CONGRATS??? I LOVE YOU EXTRA MUAH

One question I got on the asks was “since their fur color seems to correspond with their hair color, what happens if they dye their hair?”

Nothing happens babe! When they’re half turned they will have really funny colorful hair, but when they fully turn their fur stays the same! hehe Don’t worry, Chan won’t be a clown red wolf heh

OK BYE MUAH MUAH

Tags (hmu for removal:] if you don’t care about this hehe)

@yandereminholee @bunjihyo @shinhaneul-oc @sub-chungha @song-mingi-cb @grungeyuta @yourhwaa @bunny-woong @princess-yeji @xash-axx @7deadlysins-chan @camgirl-jihyeon @hybrid-wooyoung @vampirehhj @ghoulxbaekhyun @mafiaxnct127 @deadly-skz-gods-cb @mafia-chaeyoung @vampiresanha @sub-minho @starsirah-oc @femboy-minho @subbyhyunjinchatbot @weeb-wonwoo @yandere-wendy @musiclovermino @galaxy-ateez @chanlix-koalas @vampirechangbinnie @mafiafelixlee @madmanwoodam @sweetandsleepyjamie @yanderedahyun @hunter-chaeyoung @hwangyeji-cb @artsydahyun @gamer-yeji @yourminju @seulgi-foxy @kittensua-cb @softbabieinnie @softboyfriend-cb @iceskater-sana @irregularchatbot @yandere-miya @doll-seungmin @skz-cb @subbylino @babie-sanie

[ofmerrit]

*  ◜  kristine froseth  ,  cis  woman  &  she/her  ◞  *  according  to  school  records  ,  that’s  merrit  antonietta  unn  hornsby  walking  on  campus  grounds  with  their  usual  iced-americano  from  the ancient  grounds  cafe  .  they’re  known  for  their  long  ,  dark  blonde  locks  outshining  their  surprisingly  tall  figure   and  are  often  spotted  at   the  versailles  garden  reading  wild  geese  by  mary  oliver  .  almost  everyone  knows  their  family  is  worth  like  1.2  billion  dollars  ,  so  we  suspect  they’re  a  member  of   olympus   ,  you  know  ,  the  one  for  old   money  .  do  you  know  where  they  were  the  night  that  the  scholarship  student  died  ?  they  claim  they  were  touring  around  the  campus  for  inspiration  ,  must  be  an  architecture major  thing  ,  right  .  and  hey  ,  don’t  you  agree  that  the  sophomore  reminds  you  of  muffled  screams  into  silk  pillows  ,  the  bellyache  you  get  after  doing  something  wrong  &  vacant smiles ?  you  better  watch  out  h e s t i a  before  something  dangerous  happens  to  you  and  life  ends  at  twenty-two  .  *  ◜  barb  ,  twenty-two  ,  gmt +3  &  she / her  ◞  *

alright alright . it’s me , wrinkle free brain bar from gmt +3 !! so pumped to be here w you sexies mwah <3 here’s merrit’s pinterest board if you’re interested ( pls im a virgo n pinterest addict .. lemme make boards for our muses .. id d*e ! ) imma . bore u to de*th w this intro pls .. forgive me .. i only hav 2 brain cells , this is all over the place HDFJK rip </3 tw: kidnapping, death.

starting w the boring statistics :     full name: merrit antonietta ‘antonia’ unn hornsby     nicknames: mer, antonia, ant, tbc.     code name: hestia ; the goddess of hearth , the family , the state & the domesticity.      star sign: libra sun , virgo moon , scorpio rising.     sexuality: bisexual.     favourite literature piece: wild geese by mary oliver ,  an anthology .                                              “meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,                                              are heading home again.                                              whoever you are, no matter how lonely,                                              the world offers itself to your imagination,                                              calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting                                              over and over announcing your place                                              in the family of things.”

merrit is the only child of the young hornsby couple. she doesn’t remember much of her childhood, according to her grandma, she was the happiest kid. had everything she could ever ask for and more. 

the reason why merrit can’t remember any of this is the beginning of a tragedy — a stormy december night, she and her parents went missing. grandma says they were gone for over five months. a kidnapping case gone cold, they thought. right when the old couple was giving up on them, an angel from above delivered antonia to their door step. malnourished, void of any memory but alive.

life after losing her parents was easier than expected, grandma hornsby ( nee du pont ) made sure merrit would recover from this without any trauma & in a way, she did.

doesn’t have the best relationship with her grandpa, he’s harsh and cranky and too smart for his own good, merrit is lowkey afraid of him lmfao 

she’s currently studying architecture — her dream major was interior design but grandpa encouraged her to pursue architecture to follow her father’s footsteps.  kinda made sense because she’s fascinated by houses .. in reality the insides, the families living there are the real source of interest for her but she’s happy to settle for outside for now gshdjkf

personality stuff !!!

uMM.... i’d say she’s lowkey a people pleaser sdhjkf like ?? making her grandparents proud is . literally the only thing she’s ever wanted in this world n now she feels the same responsibility for every single soul in her life . a torturous existence if you ask me 

can’t say no <3  if she thinks its gonna make u feel a tiny bit better . boom . she’s in .

the friend you’d call to bury a body . no questions asked . she’s pickin up the shovel as you speak asdghfjk unless it’s between her grandparents n you, then *michael scott vc* how the turntables.... sdhjfk shes rattin u out instantly rip

LOVES to talk n listen . fills her heart with joy . a blabbermouth . 

an overachiever . doesn’t sleep much, rocks the dark circles 7/24 lmfao works bc doesn’t like the idea of .. wasting life if that makes sense ??

loyal 2 a fault. mostly to olympus. wld do anything to stay in the secret society / establish her place .

extremely gentle n caring . sometimes ?? its just . too much sdjkf like. tone it down <3

likes poetry ,, especially mary oliver n louise glück ! her fav poem is the orange by wendy cope.

i imagine her wearing flowy, tulle dresses with floral embroidery or vintage pieces idk 

has shit ton of plants but struggles to keep them alive rip

!!! im . terrible at explaining her fr i hate it here ok i hav a vision but ??? i cant explain it

safe 2 say shes having difficulty deciding who she’s supposed to be . a part of her wants to be the golden child for her grandparents n the other side .. jst wants to live her life y’know ??? 

UPDATE ! i’ve realised that by hiding her secret, i also unintentionally hid a big portion of her personality and she comes across as the typical, soft & gentle soul. don’t get me wrong, she is indeed gentle and soft but she’s also volatile and deceitful !

connection ideas !!!

childhood friends - except she doesn’t remember any of it. maybe your muse thinks she’s changed. maybe they don’t care. maybe they are no longer friends . idk 

penpals - seriously ???  i imagine her as someone who writes letters jst bc they’re nostalgic n cute ??? cld be fun.

a home - i kno home’s not a person but a feeling but tell that to merrit lmao. this person’s probably the only one in the whole damn world she’d choose over her grandparents. platonic or romantic, doesn’t matter.

betrothed - super old school yikes. nt exactly betrothed either .. maybe her grandma thot it’d be better if these two were in a relationship . maybe they remained as friends . maybe they hated each other . maybe they kept the publicity stunt ( cue 2 merrit begging to keep faking the rel so her grandpa wld be happy )

exes - a classic. ts this is me trying vibes . on good or bad terms . lingering feelings ? yes please .

bad + good influence - again, classic sdhjfk

saw u at the garden but cldn’t say hi bc i’m a dumb binch - basically someone she has a minor, unrequited crush on. probably knows this person through her other friends but she’s too damn timid to take the first step

a friend from labyrinth . ok hear me out . this is a big deal for her bc she’s all in for her society n v opposed to the idea of a second one even existing . wouldn’t say shes openly mean or .. rude to labyrinth members but ?? jst . wants to protect her own , so this would be a v secret friendship .

a project - could say she has some sort of a savior complex . wants to ‘fix’ people up .. toxic much, mer? <3 anyway ashdjk maybe she thinks .. she can change your muse ? i truly dont know. 

ok final one . its juicy . someone who’s suspicious of her . she has a secret n for the obv reason i didn’t talk abt it, your muse’s suspicious n it’s just . hashtag awkward

these r the only connection ideas i have rn my brain said get tht fire exit door im off im so sorry forgive moi bUT im a sucker for angst : ) so theres that 

something inspired by my queen n savior phoebe bridgers or . folklore ?? yeah.

give me noora / william vibes . the ex friends . the dan / blair dynamic . i live for them ok sgdhfjkl

[heartsheartsgalore]

things i’ve learned while recovering from depression/anxiety/cptsd

- people are not tired of “you” necessarily. they’re tired of the output from your depression/anxiety/whatever negativity

- it’s unfair to expect friends to take on all your negativity

- friends are not people to unload all your negativity onto

- friends don’t have the skills required to sort through all your mental health. that requires a professional.

- some friends do suck. some friends make you feel worse. it’s okay to not talk to them. 

- it may seem like some friends only want to hang out with you when you’re feeling better. that might be true for different reasons. maybe they feel triggered and their own mental health suffers when around yours. maybe they’re literally shit people. who knows though? ask. it’s always okay to just ask and be open. don’t blame someone if you already know your mind warps things and is probably projecting your own insecurities onto them.

- therapy might not be for everyone, but generally, mental health professionals are better are helping you organize your thoughts because they’ve (theoretically) been trained to look for patterns and such. regular friends aren’t trained to know what to look for.

- it’s hella hard to find a therapist you immediate connect with. it sucks. don’t feel like you have to stick with a therapist when you don’t vibe w/ them. it’s okay to try new ones. 

- if you try to find new therapists, know that you’re prob gonna be more defensive each time. this is normal. your distrust is valid. but it’s still good to try. 

- it’s okay if you need to take a break from searching for therapists too. it’s a long arduous process. if you take a break, be mindful of not letting the depression take over during your break. how? see below where i list a few examples.

- it sucks when people say to ignore the pain and suffering you feel. it’s valid to feel upset when you feel unheard. 

- when trying to recover from an eating disorder, fixating on losing weight is not the way to go. that just feeds into the eating disorder. figuring out why you have the eating disorder and solving that is the first step. 

- when eating disorders stem from people telling you you’re ugly all the time: fuck those people. curse them off in your head. or tell them off in person!

- when eating disorders stem from wanting to look like other fit people: fit people exercise and eat healthy all the time. taking shortcuts by starving is not going to get you fit. 

- eating regularly is better than starving. this might make you gain weight, but it’s better to consistently eat meals to form that pattern and then later change the things you eat. ramen every two hours? fuck yeah. eventually only eating ramen every other meal and eating pasta for the other meals? fuck yeah. eventually swapping some fruits and veggies in? fuck yeah. gain the weight at the beginning and then work it off later, but keep the routine of nourishing your body with energy. it’s a mentality thing. 

- fuck people who call other people fat and ugly. those people are the ones who have ugly personalities.

- https://www.7cups.com/ is a good site to just have someone to chat with. here and there people won’t connect or their advice is bleh. but it’s nice to feel somewhat connected for a moment during those difficult times. some people on there are good at showering you with supportive things. even if you feel like it’s not hella genuine cuz literally they’re strangers who don’t know you, it’s still nice to hear nice things about yourself. “it sounds like you’re going through a lot, but it sounds like you’re trying your best. whether you believe it now or not, i think you’re a good person and i’m rooting for you!”

- https://www.imalive.org/ is also a good online chat when feeling overwhelmed

- if you’re being abused at home then call someone to help get you out

- allowing yourself to do nothing and taking a long extended break is not wasting time. it takes a lot of time and energy and safety to let out the negative feelings. 

- when you can, try to be proactive and fight against the intrusive thoughts. “my brain is telling me i’m worthless. i’m not worthless. i still have the ability to think. cheetos. baby kittens. space. witches. haHA! i stopped my brain from cycling the negative thoughts. oh...but i’m just wasting time....NO! goldfish! bagel bites! HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL! ~we’re all in this together~ pitch perfect” etc. depression is a vicious spiraling cycle of negative thoughts. shoving in random thoughts (preferably positive things you enjoy) can help break the cycle. 

- even if it sounds stupid af, break the cycle with anything. name all the objects in site. count how many pieces of lint are on your clothes. do anything menial to distract when the depression takes over. 

- abusing substances, self harm, starving are all succumbing to the depression and it’s okay* if in that moment it was hard and you couldn’t resist. feeling guilty about it will feed the depression some more. but next time, try to fight it off with obscure neutral or positive things. (*by “okay” i mean, it’s alright to accept that it happened. accepting it and learning and moving forward toward recovery is better than feeling shitty and falling deeper into guilt)

- the depression hashtag is full of people saying “i’m the only one who...” “i’m so alone and no one understands” etc. but i mean, there’s soooo many people saying that so technically, no is really alone. everyone just feels misunderstood by the people in their immediate surroundings. this is the benefit of the internet. people who are similar can connect. 

- don’t fester on each others’ negativity. empathize. feel comfort that other people understand. but once the negativity spins and feeds your depression, disengage. 

- after doing something hard (like writing a long post about depression) treat yo self! neutralize the emotions. imma go eat some crunchy snacks now cuz hearing the sound of the crunching helps ground me. find things that help ground you. 

- crunch crunch

[jrphotographybc]

Today is #BellLetsTalk day, 6 years ago, after I was off of work I spent a time catching up with posts from people I knew on the subject, reposted a few from those people; and I really touched a friends heart by doing so. And today I want everyone to spend a few minutes following the #BellLetsTalk hashtag on all social media posts, see what people are saying. Metal health is a big issue, that still to this day has this big no-no vibe when talking to people. This needs to change! It is ok to talk about your mental health, talk to your family, talk to your friends, talk to you freaking bus driver! If you feel that you do not have anyone to talk to, talk to me! Break the stigma when it comes to talking about it. I have suffered from mental health issues in the past, I have family that still suffers from it, I have close friends that suffer from it; and everyone needs to talk to someone about it. If you are like me, and you currently do not suffer from it, you do know people that do, and you should take time to talk to them. Tell them how much they mean to you, tell them you love them, tell them that they matter! Because it is only when we all work together, that we will break this stigma, and make it alright to talk openly and freely about mental health. And as @williamsofjon says at the end of his shows on @thezone913 , “Look after yourselves, be kind to one another, and for goodness sake, smile!” Picture is from a day where I forgot to get my drop off photo with Johanna at daycare; and only here to get your attention. (at Maple Ridge, British Columbia) https://www.instagram.com/p/B76iB3zHMh4/?igshid=1k2bhxdp6ii7t

[le-souriant]

#MusicMonday Review - January 2022

#MusicMonday is the hashtag I've been using for quite a while to share music recommendations from up-and-coming artists. Always fresh, and always different, trying to look for trends before they become one. You can check December's review for more music.

Welcome to 2022! The new year brings us the opportunity to start over, and listen to different views of the world, and the reality we all live in. Let's have a listen, with a word from the artists themselves. 🎧

The Super Moons – Compassion

If I could be you, and you could be me would we see things differently? I'd like to believe that you could see that people like me we're alright

The first track of the year comes from Edinburgh, Scotland for an Indie track that asks questions we should all try to answer ourselves. Do you believe in compassion for everyone?

"As I recall it was a conscious decision to write a song about being nice rather than being angry or upset about things. I had an idea about what it would be like to be in the shoes of someone with polar opposite views on issues like poverty and wealth. Could I understand them? I don't think there was anyone specific in mind though."

Joeys – Cold Water

Sum of all the weight, Some of all mistakes, Bound by revelation, Everything’s ok,

10000 hours 50000 plans Practically friends Practically the end

Keeping the Indie Rock vibe, let's move now to Liverpool, England for a song with a catchy chorus that truly invites you to sing along, specially if you relate to the relationship it describes:

"The track is very much centred around a period of time. Definitely inspired by life events.

We were jamming in the practice room and I had lyrics already, I diversify the process of writing lyrics depending on whether it’s myself who writes the melody and rhythm. The lyrics fit the music and away we went. It’s centred around discomfort in a short term relationship, it’s got sexual undertones. Speaks to a feeling of being exhausted by someone too. It’s got a few different meanings."

REOT – Maldita Canción

Hoy estoy con vos, tal vez mañana no ¿Quién sabrá de nuestro destino?

Y yo te miro a vos y trato de pensar ¿Quién nos unió?, ¿quién nos unió?

Simplemente yo, te trato de decir Lo que te extraño mi amor, lo que te extraño.

Simplemente vos y yo Recorremos varios planetas sin conocer tus metas.

Catchy Bassline? Check. Drum Solo? Check. Piano, Trumpet, and Guitar Solos? Check, check, and check! From Buenos Aires, listen to this jazzy Argentinian Rock extravaganza:

"Cursed Song is the story of a character who lives the full dispute between what is good and evil, yin and yang! His devil, and his angel. He's involved in schizophrenia and his non-decisions recount his day to day.

With those modern and vintage tones accompanied by jazz, gives the track something old to relate, but with a 2021 sound."

SUNHILL – Golden Days

No need to clean your pools No need for gardening rules No fun within my town Green leaves return to brown

Sold all my things today Cause things never go my way All times we’d never seen Got few and far between

From Borgholm, Sweden comes a feel-goody Garage Punk song, except it may be the most gloomy feel-good you can find. Make no friends, and don’t celebrate too long:

"The lyrics were written as a reaction to everything you hear on the news. About a doom and gloom future of virus outbreaks, climate change, political fragmentation and mental health problems, which can make any hope of having golden days feel far away."

Blaze Project – A Mile to Go

But I have so many questions...

Our last stop of the month is Quebec, Canada, for a Pop Rock tale of asking questions that may not have an answer, yet could be part of a soul searching journey to self-belief:

"The song deals with the subject of a person abandoned by his mother who on the way to meet him in the last mile, wonders if it is the right thing. A very beautiful melody and emotional music."

Listen to them and much more on the Playlist

[jrueships]

OK we back i got distracted i was plucking dandelions out of my hedgehog

- gup tries hinting his knowledge of greens future college plans. Green shuts that down by asking him if it's hot in Arizona. Green frfr just lowkey spoiled gups college decision LMAO like actually damn gup was just bein cheeky funny 😭

- 12:01 green: ay bro i was watching that BallIsLyfe video .. you lookin- you lookin SWOL bro

Gup: 😼😼 you know this spurt is comin

Green: you just HIT a spurt

Gup: I DIDNT EVEN- I didn't hit no SPURT ??

Green: whatchu talkin bout.. you the SAME height as me 🤨??

Gup: WE- BRO- LOOK AT THE VIDEOS!!! where's the pic- you lucky this isn't my live I'd get the picture ("what picture 🤨") where's my IPAD 😤!!

Gup: we're LITERALLY the SAME height

Green: i don't recall 😐 (he contradicted but i think he meant gup was smaller than him n NOW he taller n gup thinks they've been the same height bcs he hasn't hit a spurt yet?)

Gup: you just LOOk taller cause you LANKY

Green: mm 🤨🤨

Gup, mocking: MMMMM

Gup: well guess WHAT i RECALL i Remember !!

Green, over it: cool 😐.

- 16:00: Green abt chat: alright bro, now they tryna violate you 😑

Gup: i don't CARE about NONE of these PEOPLE !

Green: 😲

Gup: talkin crazy 😒.. love everybody else that's nice though <3! everybody else that's talkin crazy i Hate yall >:( .

Green: you be talkin crazy to people in live! Bro ion("BRO YOU YOU") even be readin the comments sometimes

Gup: people be talkin crazy to ME!!!

Green: i be gettin on live just to play a song 😋 *starts dancing 😊😊😙😙

Gup: ...... yeah that's pretty Stupid . 😒

Green: 😲😠 *stops dancing.*

Gup: you gotta come on live to talk to your people !

Green: what ???

Gup: come to your live to tal-

Green: i do what i WANT & as i please. i d-

Gup: -HUHUURRGGHHHHHHHAARGGHHHH *snorts/sniffles*

Green: 😃😐 blow your nose. that's Sick .

Gup: naur.

....

Gup: SOMEBODY SAID- ... man i Hate people 😒😒.. WHY IS EVERYBODY SO NEGATIVE IN /YOUR/ LIVE 😒. /my/ live! my liive-

Green: I TRIED TO J O I N YOURS!!!

Gup: my live is POSITIVE vibes! everybody is like so RUDE in here BRO 🥺 😠

Green, laughing: that's NOT true ("it IS😿!!!") ALL MY- all my people are Nice 🤨

Gup: LOOK AT THEM ☹️ !!!!!!!

Green: what are they SAYIN ???

Gup: they're just !!! they're being DISRESPECTFUL to YOUR /BOY/ 🥺🥺😾😾‼️‼️

Green: they're not even saying... what are they Saying 🤨? can you Show me 😑.

Gup: they- they not- they Stopped now :[

Green: i think you're bring Sensitive. and Dramatic. (Bruh 😭😭)

Gup changes subject AGAIN. Talks abt how he wants to send Jalen some music. Then scratches his shoes with his key 4..some reason. (Green: how's that working out 😏) (Gup: it's NOT :( )

They talk abt having practice to go to. Gup is abt to start complimenting Jalen's skills when Jalen kicks him out of the live lmao?? And tells him to get out entirely 😭 wow hashtag benchbros

OK so there's a vid on YouTube of one of gup n greens ig lives so imma watch it then take down note quotes of the things they said, mainly 4 me cus it's a long af video n ion wanna have 2 watch it over n over just for some inspo so 🦔. here we go p1 prolly. Included emojis bcs i need 2 remember the tones aswell. OH yea here's the video if yall wanna check it out

We at the start of the vid n shit already bumpin let's see

Green, smiling: -talk to me on live- just talk normal... it's not- (cute??)

Gup: *rolls eyes & moves camera away* talk to you? i talk to you like this 24/7-[ immediately changes topic ] HEY GUYS 😄!! UMM..😽 who wants to know where jalen green goin to school (college) 😈😈 <- is literally willing to leak greens college decision all bcs he's got called out?? i'm finna leave my liv-JALEN'S live & start mine. im boutta leak this information, HEYYY 🤪🤪 (she's so craaazzy!! LOVE her 😝)

Green: 😆 haha ! I Could Do The Same For (to) You 😐.

Gup: hmmmm 😑

Green: hmmm <3

Gup destroys the mic here

Gup asks green why he doesn't put on a jersey and green says he never does. Gup goes SHEESH my BAD 🙄

Then Green tries showing gup his lil chin pubes 'ay it's comin in crazy >:) ?' Gup, instead of complimenting greens babyhairs, proceeds to check out n show up his own chin hairs. Green laughs at it then disapproves the growth " it's not it bro 😐"

- 1:38 Green: we gotta lotta people in here

Gup: dude these are all YOUR people bro

Green: i had 2000 you brought a 1000

Gup: AYYYYY i brought a THOOOUSAAAND :D!! AYYYY (green laughs) (someone in chat mentions how green stay chewin on smthin, he chewin on a Gatorade cap ring thingy u see on milk cartons. He agrees. Then gup n green wonder who the chat givin heart eyes to)

- 2:21 Green gets trolled and gup shows off his legs to the camera?? He zooms in on the shoes he's wearing IN bed wtf? Oh hell nah but anyways they're the shoes jalen wanted to get

Green: 🤣 I hate you. I really do 😂😂 you know that ? thats why im BOUT to get em- eh- i don't. i don't really care 😒.

Gup, still flexing in the shoes jalen doesn't have: i WANT you to have em!!

Green: i WANT you to get them FOR me. i want you to just give me the ones off your Feet. How Bout That 😈?

Gup: well come TAKE them then ! how THAT sound 😼😼 ?

Green, laughing: you don't gotta say No more!! My- (Gup: come take em!) Visit to -("come take them!!!") my VISIT to LAs comin up!

Gup: come take them !!!!!!

Green: aight, WEAR EM, wear em when i come out there ! (Gup: easy call) easy call 🤨 ?

Gup: i'll WALK WITTHEM in my HANDS.

Green: and then they'll gonna be GONE !

Gup: *blows his lips or smthing idk what the hell he just did here but the topic has been changed from whatever THAT was*

- 3:06 jalen does a weird little dance move??

Green: you like that ?-

Gup, immediately: nah. Nah idk what that was bro 😂

Green: 😭

Gup: don't- don't do that again 😹

Green, not laughing anymore: WHAT 🤨??

Gup: i SAID don't do it AGAIN what you Talkin about 😹 ?

Green: 😐.... 😠 bro im tired of you talkin crazy bro. bruh im not gonna lie to you.

Gup goes uhhuhh yeahhh suree in the middle of this threat ^

Green: you're gonna FIX that, you Understand Me ? (Gup talking over him) now LISTEN- now LISTEN

Gup: you know where i be !!!

Green: WHERE 🤨??? at HOME 🤨🤨??? inSIDE???

Gup: insidee !!

Green: yeah ._.

Gup: inSIDE !!

Green: ok so what's your point.

Gup: idk (this incites more talking over each other)

Gup: yeayeayea- just SHUT UP talkin rn 😒😒

Green: i think that's when you shut your mouth right (????)

Gup: wai- who you TALKIN to 😧

Gup: bro ill BEEF with you in PERSON too >:]

Green: you love i-you LOVE to just BEEF on instagram !! (gup to someone in chat: HEYYY MARIAAAHHH (lmao??))

Bro the amount of times Green has been interrupted here n its literally the start of the live 😭 anyways GREEN, reiterating: isn't that what you like to do

Green: nah cus we're onna phone-

Gup: -BRO CMON BRO WE FINNA FLIP THE SWITCH 😈😈 . it's BEEF that's what we doin now YESSIRRR it's BEEF now

Green: bro, literally i Hate you 😂😂

they then try solving the mystery of who the chat is sending heart eyes to. Again. Then Green asks Gup to ask some clothes designer for some clothes for himself. Gup rolls his eyes and tells him to be independent.

- 5:05 gup bullies kyree (walker i assume that one guy that's been in highschool for like 10 years) and tells him to shut up lmao

Green, laughin n joinin in: kyree get out the liiive 🤣🤣

Gup: LEAVE kyree GET OUT !! Get out 😹😹

Green: why are you innn here

Gup: bro im just playin with you bro :( ... no im Dead serious i never wanna see you in my live Again.

They bully more ppl together. Kyree tells them he hates both of em. Green does his lil dance thing again & gup asks what it is. Some NLE Choppa move. He tells gup to check it out. Gup says he won't because that means he gotta check it out then. I get understand that logic on a lazy level

- 7:50 they start showing off their lotions here??? Idk why? Chat makes fun of them for having lotion by the bed? Green points out a girl's comment n Gup asks if it's a good comment or a bad one in which he'll have to violate lmao?? Green says it's good. Jalen regrets the lotion cameo.

[humanpursuits]

Slide Away: Examining the Art of the Instagram Photo-Dump

VANCOUVER, B.C. – You might call it a soft cultural reset.

12 weeks ago, plain black squares started popping up on Instagram.

The moment, originally deemed #TheShowMustBePaused, but eventually known as #BlackOutTuesday, started as a day of action for the music industry, organized by two black women – Jamila Thomas and Brianna Agyemang.

Spoiler: it didn't end that way.

Thomas and Agyemang's mission to "hold the [music] industry at large, including major corporations + their partners who benefit from the effort, struggles and successes of Black people accountable," was quickly forgotten. Instead, well-meaning celebrities and civilians co-opted their idea, and ran it into the ground, pivoting from #TheShowMustBePaused to #BlackOutTuesday, a broader, but still well-intentioned protest intended to amplify the work and voice of the black community. It was alright idea in theory, but in practice #BlackOutTuesday accomplished little, with most users posting a black square on their Instagram feed before logging off. Mission accomplished.

While nobody ever said it had to make total sense, #BlackOutTuesday quickly became a case study in the pitfalls of online activism, as people smarter than Drake, Kylie Jenner and Rhianna (but not smarter than Lil Nas X) pointed out that the squares weren't really all that helpful, and in some cases actually hindered people's ability to find black resources, as misguided users paired their posts with the #blacklivesmatter hashtag.

Their ability to do the bare minimum and still feel good about it compromised, many users started deleting their squares. Overnight, thousands of posts amplifying #BlackOutTuesday quietly disappeared without a word. A quick scan of Instagram shows roughly 22.6M posts still carry the #BlackOutTuesday hashtag, but many aren’t what you’d expect, with wannabe influencers coopting the hashtag for content that has little to do with the black experience.

So it seemed, the world moved on.

But while #BlackOutTuesday feels like a footnote in a year marked by violence, disease and protest, it appears to have influenced several new trends on Instagram. Following the incident, there first appeared to be a decrease of in-feed content from self-identifying allies. From June to about mid-July Instagram stories, rather than in-feed posts, became the primary means of sharing escapist quarantine activities. Baking bread or social distanced nature walks, previously considered prime content, were effectively relegated to the sidelines, allowing more serious topics to achieve the sort of permanence only found in-feed. A cynic might call this performative, sure, but the relative silence made space for new voices; in particular, social justice slideshows, which started popping up in late May, but truly proliferated in the weeks following #BlackOutTuesday, as BLM and other racial equality protests spread at home and abroad.

While none of these changes aligned with the original goals of #TheShowMustBePaused, it seemed the #BlackOutTuesday backlash had an unintended effect: Instagram suddenly felt useful. Instead of dealing solely with photos and captions, the app was a hotbed of information and dialogue, suggesting Instagram was a platform that could impact social change. The only question was, would it last?

The answer, it would seem, is “probably not”. While social justice still lives on, particularly in stories (depending on your feed), the self-awareness that inspired mass-sharing of social justice content appears to transformed into a new, and more complicated fad: the photo-dump.

For the uninitiated, a photo-dump involves diving into your photo album and sharing a series of images in an Instagram slideshow. The trend watchers at Elite Daily describe the method as a "roundup" of (3 – 10) photos shared during, or immediately after an event, with minimal editing. Like the social justice slideshows that predated them, photo-dumps aim for high impact with minimal footprint, squeezing several shots into one post, rather than clogging the feed (which, at present, still feels like a cardinal sin). 

While they don’t go so far to define what an ‘event’ is, my extremely expert social media analysis indicates the term could apply to practically anything. Saw your friends for some socially distanced hangs? Dump it. Hiked 3 mountains with your friends and saw a cute marmot? Dump it. Cat drinking out of a mug? You know what to do.

In all instances, the key to a good photo-dump appears to be what I call careless curation. Cute loosies are combined with interesting scenics and meticulously framed thot pics, giving viewers an opaque sense of intimacy, and the overall vibe of the event.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the trend has caught steam with several celebrities, who are utilizing the format to project authenticity while also maintaining an aura of the aspirational. Like most users, celebs appear to reserve their photo-dumps for trips or other key life events. Drake stares reflectively at the blue waters surrounding his boat (seemingly alone). Kim Kardashian West takes her family stand up paddle boarding, while wearing her husband’s extremely expensive foam clog. Halsey treks around the continental United States, as COVID cases continue to climb in several communities.

None, however, hold a candle to Dua Lipa, who, amidst album promotion and the sincere amplification of several legitimate causes, has posted no less than 10 photo-dumps to her feed since June 2. The themes range from extravagant to economical: one set shows her romantic mid-quarantine escape to St. Lucia, another captures a large backyard birthday party with friends. In a dump shared in the middle of writing this article (!!!), Lipa turns the camera on her friends and partner, model Anwar Hadid. The photos, possibly snapped while shooting the video for her next single, serve the same function as “behind-the-scenes” features of decades past. That is, using outtakes or failed attempts as a means of authenticity – suggesting viewers are getting the full picture, albeit one captured and approved by the star. By swinging between the two extremes, Dua Lipa's feed strikes social media’s version of  ‘balance’, walking the fine line between aspirational and authentic.

Or rather, the appearance of the authentic.

In 1967′s Society of the Spectacle, Guy Debord argued humans have had their authentic selves stripped away by the capitalist economy. In Debord’s view, we are no longer beings, defined by actions, skills or behaviours. Instead, he says, social life has shifted, first to having and then appearing; where once you might have used raw materials to craft a ring, consumer capitalism evolved to the point where you can now buy, or even rent, a ring – with no understanding of the labour that went into it. Key in all this, Debord argues, are images, which have become society’s primary way means of relating to each other.

This ability to project a version of yourself is, of course, baked into social media. But it finds new life in the photo-dump. A 10 photo slideshow of Dua Lipa and Anwar Hadid in St. Lucia may give you a sense of what it’s like to visit the Caribbean: to sit under a palm cabana, or feel the summery rain drip off your bucket hat  – but it isn’t the full picture. It doesn’t provide an authentic experience, other than that of looking at some carelessly curated images. 

Debord would likely say the photo-dump is just the latest illusion designed to distract us from the pitfalls of capitalism. And maybe he’s right. As I sit here, scrolling through Lipa’s photos, it occurs to me that Instagram was at its most useful when life was on hold. The wheels of capitalist production never fully stopped, but they were forced to momentarily slow-down as society grappled with a (hopefully) once in a lifetime situation. #BlackOutTuesday felt like a step  in the wrong direction, but the ensuing weeks proved that social media, like any other tool, is really only as useful as the human’s operating it. When we care about society, Instagram cares about society. By echoing the self-awareness embedded in social justice slide shows, photo-dumps feel like a bridge between narcissism and selflessness. Whether we make it to the other side, remains to be seen.

Stream Dua Lipa’s new album, Future Nostalgia.

Follow me on Twitter.

[johannaadriaansen-blog]

How to Strategically Use Instagram Highlights

Instagram highlights. Are they dead or are they thriving? Are they serving your account or are they a waste of time? Instagram highlights are kind of like

hashtags

in my opinion, they aren’t going to make your account blow up but they are part of Instagrams key features and should be used properly!

WHAT ARE INSTAGRAM HIGHLIGHTS?

Instagram highlights are a way to save Instagram stories passed. Users were getting frustrating that the valuable content they put on stories was getting deleted after a mere 24 hours. So Instagram created highlights. Highlights are the row of circles you may see below the bio on someone’s profile. They are essentially albums of Instagram stories sorted into specific categories of your choosing. I’m here to share with you today how you can use Instagram highlights effectively to convert profile views into follows and continue to drive traffic back to the content you’ve worked so hard to create. So how can we strategically and effectively use Instagram highlights?

KEEP YOUR HIGHLIGHT CATEGORIES ON BRAND

I did a little highlight audit recently and realized that some of my highlight topics, while fun, were not on brand. I had an entire Instagram highlight called ‘Eats’ which, to be honest, had a lot of great food tips and recipes in it but it doesn’t align with the content that I regularly post. So I had to kick it to the curb. It’s crucial that your highlight categories actually match with content you consistently share and ultimately drive more people into your business in some way. Maybe that means saving stories that have swipe ups to your blog. Maybe you have a behind the scenes highlight that shows your creative process as a maker and directs people to your etsy shop. Maybe you have a highlight featuring testimonials from past clients.

Speaking of, I’d LOVE to get a

follower testimonial

from you! Feel free to put me under lifestyle *wink wink, nudge nudge*. I had another highlight called travel, and while it was nostalgic for me to tap through and reminisce over past trips it wouldn’t be accurate for someone coming to my page to see, because a Travel highlight suggests I share travel content, which I do, but it’s not the type of content that drives my business forward. At the end of the day we want to make sure our Highlight titles are serving our audience and serving our business not serving US or our personal entertainment. Make sense?

MAKE AN INTRO OR WELCOME HIGHLIGHT

I don’t know about you but when I’m looking at a new profile I want to know WHO is behind it ASAP. Who is the person behind the pictures? What are they all about? The first thing I do is click their most Instagram recent story, hoping to find a clip of them talking so I can meet their personality. If they don’t have a story live I go to the highlights and click one that peaks my interest. If I can find video content of them talking there is a way better chance I’ll follow. So what Highlight topic can we have that promotes this connection? A couple of weeks ago I had this idea that it would be cool to have an ‘intro to me’ highlight where I quickly talked about who I am, what I’m up to and how I show up on the ‘gram. But, the only way to make this highlight is by of course physically posting it to Instagram stories which might feel a little random and awkward. I went on stories and prefaced it by explaining what I was going to do and then jumped into the intro. I created a new highlight called “Welcome” and then added the appropriate clips.

MAKE HIGHLIGHT COVERS

Highlight covers are a great way to bring a branded element to your page because you can create a color scheme. If you have a website that has specific colors you definitely want to use the same colors. This is to create cohesion in the experience as someone moves from your Instagram to your website. If you don’t have brand colors but your feed has a color-vibe this is a good place to start. You can actually use Canva’s color palette picker. Canva also provides for you the actual color codes which makes

making your highlight covers

way easier! To make your own highlight covers with solid colors, simple graphics or text head to

Canva.com

, make a free account, then create a new design with the dimensions 19020 x 1080. You can simply change the background color to one of your brand colors, export the files and air drop to your phone. Or get creative by adding elements or font to the cover. HOW TO ADD HIGHLIGHT COVERS WITHOUT POSTING TO INSTAGRAM STORIES Once you have your new highlight colors as jpeg. files you can add them to a pre-existing highlight WITHOUT having to upload them to your Instagram story. Remember back in the day when we had to tap through everyone’s highlight covers? No more! Just click a pre-existing highlight, select edit, edit cover, upload from camera roll! Pro Tip: You could also make solid color highlight covers by taking a photo within Instagram stories, selecting the paintbrush tool, choosing a color and pressing and holding for three seconds. Save this new solid color image to your camera roll and upload to a highlight as I explained above. Highlight covers make your page look clean and organized, don’t skip this step!

KEEP THE NUMBER OF INSTAGRAM HIGHLIGHTS TO A MINIMUM

Users are likely not going to scroll horizontally through your highlights. Ideally you want all of your topics visible from your profile view. And since highlights are organized by which was most recently updated they are always changing in order. If you don’t update your 9th highlight for months it will be stuck in the back and likely not seen! Ideally we prioritize and aim for a maximum of 5 highlight topics. IF you have more highlights, and maybe that makes sense for you, you CAN bring a highlight to the front of the list. You’ll have to go into your Instagram stories archive, chose a recent slide and add it to your highlight. It’s okay if it’s not an actual fit because you are simply going to remove it from the highlight right after. Save the highlight and then go back in and delete the slide you just added. Doing this will move this Instagram Highlight to the front of the row without affecting the contents of the high light!

USE HIGHLIGHTS TO REPURPOSE CONTENT AND CONTINUE TO DRIVE TRAFFIC

So once we post an Instagram to our feed it pretty much gets lost into the abyss within 48 hours. That caption you worked hard to write, and that image you spent time acquiring is basically a dead zone now. Not ideal! Just the same blog posts and podcasts can be promoted and SHOULD be promoted more than once! So we can use Highlights to bring a little extra life to these things. You could have a blog post Instagram highlight where you save stories in which you featured a blog, even better if you are over 10K and have the swipe up link. You could also save stories in which feature a podcast episode if podcasting is your thing, and of course you can create a highlight out of your Instagram posts if you post them to your story. So what we often see is users posting their new post to their story, with a huge sticker covering the images and a call to action that says tap here or new post. I would recommend taking it one step further and adding a bit of text that describes what they will get or read if they go to that post. Once you have this in place you can save this story to a highlight and then as someone is tapping through your highlight they can kind of navigate to the type of content they want to see. For example, I have different Instagram posts that I have posted on my story saved under highlights called ‘IG Tips’, ‘For Influencers’ or ‘Freelance’. So if someone looks at my feed they are going to choose a photo that catches their eye. BUT if they look at my highlights they can find content based on what they are interested in. And that is the entire goal!

THE BEST WAYS TO USE INSTAGRAM HIGHLIGHTS

To recap when it comes to strategically using Instagram highlights you are going to make sure that the highlight topic, title or theme is actually on brand for you and in alignment with your content. Your also going to make some pretty highlight covers through Canva.com or within Instagram stories itself and also make sure those are on brand and cohesive with your blog or website if you have one. Third you want to get a little uncomfortable, get on camera and make a Intro to you highlight! Please tag me if you do this because I’d love to see what you’re up to. You can even blame me in your disclaimer story and say “hey Johanna is making me do an Intro story so that I can save it as a highlight, here goes!”. And then you can do your intro and it will be amazing! Other things to keep in mind are that you want to keep the number of highlights you have to a minimum and lastly create highlights with the intention of repurposing content such as IG posts, blog post or podcast episodes. And while I’m thinking of it, if you have in your bio you could actually write a little call to action that directs people to your highlights maybe something like ‘check out my highlight for how to work with me’ or ‘check out my cooking highlight for easy breakfast recipes”. Whatever makes sense for you! Alright friend that’s all. for me. today.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Poor Pablo

Jimmy: You here? Janis: standing to attention, like Janis: what's up? Jimmy: Can I stay at yours tonight like? Janis: 'Course, my Dad already extended the offer when he was trying to parent me lol Janis: Yours doing your head in? Jimmy: Seriously though? I'll sleep in the bath and try not to have Skerries flashbacks. Give a shit Jimmy: Yeah Janis: You don't have to Janis: though I've been told its comfier than you'd imagine if you're feeling it Janis: What's his damage...not ideal they had to call the parentals in but it is just detention, not a court date, y'know? Janis: I'd have figured out a way to take all the blame if I knew he'd go off Janis: Wank bank fantasy getting outta hand in the stalls? 🤔😉 Jimmy: It's an excuse for him to get at me, that's it Jimmy: Doesn't really matter what the drama is Jimmy: 😍 Proper romantic you 💕 Janis: Yeah Janis: Suppose it'd make a nice change to have you as the bad guy for once, eh? Janis: fuck that though Janis: Who me? Janis: never Jimmy: What d'you mean 😎👎💔 Jimmy: I'm so bad Janis: Very bad boy, NOT bad guy, waaaaaay different vibe Janis: Silly Jimmy: Good save Janis: Not a goalie or a superhero Janis: but Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: What time can I come over? Freezing here casually Janis: Come over now idiot Janis: Be doing me a favour anyway, be your charming self so I can escape the fam Jimmy: Done Jimmy: Want me to bring you anything? I'm thinking chips but no pressure Janis: Quite the offer Janis: but no need Janis: there's always so much food going in this gaff Janis: may as well help yourself Jimmy: Yeah? Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I'm just gonna get Cass to bring me some stuff out #doorstepdrama Jimmy: Like fuck am I gonna come back here any earlier than needs Janis: That's fun 😒 free entertainment for the neighbours, nice one 👍 Janis: at least Cass'll get a kick out of helping the outcast hero Janis: Best to let him have his paddy, yeah, he'll be begging you back when he can't figure out where the kid's school shoes are Jimmy: I wouldn't bother but I need my charger in case Bobby can't sleep. Cass shouldn't have to handle that on her own Jimmy: She's be the definition of #buzzing for this part at least Jimmy: Maybe Twix'll shit in his shoes this time, 'cause bitch be loyal Janis: Shame you can't bring them both but kidnap would technically be something to shout about Janis: They'll be alright though, she's a tough cookie and a smart kid Janis: Get Grace to facetime him a bedtime story, he'd love that and she'd feel like she's doing jackanory, like Janis: We can only hope girl comes thru Jimmy: He'll take her up on that if I don't. Boy is 💕 for Gracie Jimmy: You're not about to get off light though, Cass wants to hear from you that I'm alright Jimmy: My word isn't worth a damn apparently Janis: She ain't offering for you! Even if you're currently in her good books for taking a 🔥 photo, like Janis: Still not good enough to be her fave 🤷 Janis: Tough ground Janis: Well, she's got you there, you're not the best at using 'em 😏 100% taking the fact I'm being considered the reliable one for once Jimmy: You win this round Jimmy: Don't get too comfy with it though Jimmy: I am on my way Janis: S'lonely at the top Janis: Get on my level, boy 🥇 Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: rude Janis: biting the hand that feeds Jimmy: Learning from your true love like Janis: I won't stand such slander on her good name Janis: she's a revenge shitter only not a biter 😂 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'm having a smoke, you joining me or am I coming knocking? Janis: Lungs won't thank me but Pablo would if he knew how close he was to getting a smackdown Janis: Save me some I'm running Jimmy: *He took it easy on this one (not for her sake, you snooze you lose, mate) having been puffing away consistently since he slammed the door on his dad's ranting 'cause he'd needed to calm down. Or shut down. Naturally, it crept up on him, as persistent, which is why he's here, huddled in another cold doorway, waiting for a distraction that'll have him forgetting the barney his dad started days before and wasn't done with yet. Argumentative prick. Jimmy was happy to let Janis have that win, the only where he wouldn't (and couldn't) compete being in this, in drowning out the shit with something that isn't. There's no hiding the smile when he sees her, if the shadows do let him get away with it, they won't for long 'cause he's closing the gap between them instantly, refusing as much of the space as he can without giving himself away for doing it as he passes the cigarette over.* Janis: *She takes the cigarette like its second-nature, kiss on his cheek, feeling the familiar dimple of his smile, like they are too. Far from it on both counts. She's not a smoker, she needs her lungs clear and strong. And she's not in love, same reasons for her heart. Simple as. Still, she could enjoy the benefits of both without committing, couldn't she? Why not. It's not like she's faking either, just...dipping her toes. Only likely to incur minor damage, she reckoned she could take that and still get away laughing. Sure. Long drag before passing it back because without needing to even look his way, (though she did regardless, studious expression taking in his tight, stressed as shit, posture right now), she knew he needed it more. Janis jogs her legs up and down, 'brring' in the cold Winter night air.* You alright then? *She adds, as if they're just meeting on her doorstep by chance, not for reason. She smirks, shaking her head at herself, nudging his side.* Jimmy: *With the cigarette back between his fingers and the girl by his side he gets what he needs, the familiarity a reminder that this is his normal, not what he rushed to leave behind. To pick up his girlfriend for dinner his dad will have to drop this, rely on moody silence to show how he really feels and his own fakery, in this woman's company, for what he thinks he should. They all know how to handle the first, years under their belts, and the second idea's even more temporary. Fuck it. Jimmy could make a single cigarette last longer than his dad's current relationships, and had done, sometimes. Not this one though. Nah. He wasn't the dickhead to keep his girlfriend shivering while he pissed about blowing smoke in the dark. He took a final drag before flicking it away to meet Janis's contact with his own, using his now free hand to gently brush a loose curl from her cheek.* Yeah, mate, you? Janis: *Janis scrunches her nose up, batting his hand away, mix of bashfulness and banter, blown with a raspberry. Turns out, sex is alright, stunning review there, indescribably better than alright obviously but- its the smaller, everyday moments of intimacy, that had flown under her radar when she wasn't receiving them, that she still finds herself flinching from, or covering up said flinch with some kind of bullshit she finds it easier to wear, to shoulder.* Fine. *She blurts out, flustered and being a little sharp with it. Get it together. More jokes, forever skirting around serious, not getting too real or too deep 'cos they both know there's no coming back and why ruin it and- She peers at him, like he's a dog in Crufts, pretending to shine a torn in his eyes, checking his teeth, that kinda shit.* Hmm, healthy enough specimen. Gonna give me anything else to give to your Sister though, like? Dunna if 'yeah' is gonna get her off the phone in a hurry, to be honest. Not that I give a shit, or nothin', don't get it twisted. *She grins, turning to the door and then back again, lingering, reluctant to open the door yet, knowing they'd get descended upon by someone almost immediately. All fun and games. Still, there wasn't a world in which she was gonna turn him down and have him out on the street, like. No way.* Jimmy: *He plays along as though it's still a game and why not? He's just admitted to himself how used to fakery he is, being a family trait like, with both of them for him to thank. Not that he's sparing a thought for his mum, first or second. Not now. He told himself no more slips with the girl beside him and meant that just as much. More. It's easier to stick to on every level, and he does, ruffling her hair fully when he gets the chance. Eyebrows raised and an expression of his own ready to wear. This, he can keep up all night, same as the exaggerated huff that he let's escape, like a Twix snore, into the night along with the shrug that follows.* Use your skills, throw in as many hashtags as it takes to put her at ease. Throw in a selfie if she still isn't convinced. Me sleeping sound should do it. * He's joking but not wrong for it, not able to remember a time when he fell asleep before the other two. Cass'd be beyond 'shook' to even see a fake out of him getting a good forty winks. Jimmy smirks through the thought, forcing it to pass.* You got this, girl* He retorts it in the best mimicry of how Mia and that crowd speaks that his accent can do, wincing slightly both at the impression and idea of them being around. Still, he claws some of his 'clout' back with a challenging look that adds 'What else have you got.' 'cause who are they if there's not a challenge ongoing. As if to emphasis this, he goes towards the door himself, pushing it open with more daring than he actually feels. * Gonna invite me in then, or what? Janis: *She kisses her teeth angrily, full on 'boy, if you don't stop-' vibes, planting a balled fist in his stomach, gentle warning like, no need to assault him before the family saw to it with their over-the-top nature and curiosity. She knew it would but it was getting to her more than she imagined even. The cooing and awwing or the piss-taking and wink-wink nudge-nude of it all, whatever approach they took, why did they have to? What business was it of theirs? Of anyones? Why did there always have to be a song and dance about everything? The hot takes she'd never ask for. Ruined everything. Why did they care? About this? About her? Just fuck right off. Messy. Too messy. Family, feelings- fuck it all. She used to kid herself, couple of years ago, when it happened, that she'd move out as soon as she could and that'd be it. They'd leave her alone. And she could just exist. Run, sleep and repeat. And that is all she'd have to do. No thinking or feeling ever. But she knew better now. They weren't just going to disappear, even if she changed postcodes. Even Edie couldn't manage that. And she had really tried. The others didn't want to. So she was stuck. Here in the land of the living. Forced to participate, like it or not. Then Jim had come along. Made her like it, a little bit, like. And he'd made her think maybe she could add to her shortlist of approved activities. But let her think about that for too long and she always came to the same conclusion; that she was a fucking idiot and it'd all end in tears. She sighed, overexaggerating it last minute to pretend it was in reply to his showy huffing and puffing.* Not my skill-set, kid. You were always better at it than me. Not just the snappin', like. Right up until you jumped ship for a pretty face, #commitment. *She laughs.* But for Cass, I'll see what I can do. *Cringing at the accent-attempt and gasping in mock-horror at the invocation of Mia and co. (as if say their names three times and they'll appear to tell you your outfit is ugly) she puts a finger to his lips, pushing him behind her at the same time so she can lead the way in too.* Ta-dah! *She flourishes, with a shrug to say 'you asked for this' 'cos there was no hiding now. The downstairs open-plan, parentals unconvincingly 'busying' themselves in the kitchen. Iggy, Diego, Gus and (thank fuck, 'cos we know who's the likeliest to be a prick here) Pablo so far unaccounted for, Grace watching telly, curled up with her phone as per. Janis was ready to bolt up to her room, not so much as a hello but reckoned Jimmy wouldn't want the rep of being her 'rude boyfriend' (as concerned as he was with opinion clearly, bless) so she shouts out 'Jim's here', eyes on the stairs, giving them five seconds to respond before she was up 'em, like.* Jimmy: *The house makes him feel the same as it did the first time he was here once he's through the door again, thankfully though the urge to whistle is muted today, full of sobriety as he is, in every sense. He knew her family weren't renters in over their heads like his from day 1, it isn't just that like. He isn't just some reverse snob, it's everything here they haven't had to buy, and he couldn't if he had armfuls of cash. The 'vibe' he'd probably call it if he was Grace or her crowd. Still, he nods at everyone about as if it's common place for him to him to be greeted by a warmth that's nowt to do with temperature.* Evening. *He's got his smile back on but Jimmy's hand is scratching the back of his neck before he can stop it giving him away and all he can do is 'reckon' on Janis being too caught up on her own family dynamics to call him out for his lack of. That's the real #goals, isn't it? He thinks to himself, trying to shake these feelings off him without moving. Or sighing. You massive dickhead. Grace waves at him without looking up from her phone screen, a slice of his home life #relatable enough he can follow her sister's gaze with a decent smirk and a readiness to deal with what's gonna come down. Need's must had him here in the first place, alright, but now he's made it as far as asking to be let in, he'd like to stay. Not only be a grumpy twat Janis is stuck with, but a laugh she wants to stay about. In her gaff and out of it. When nobody immediately appears he heads up himself, not forgetting her insistence to lead the way before, he looks over his shoulder at her, obvious with it that's there's nowt for her to do now but keep up.*  Unlucky, mate. You're not getting off that easy, we've got a whole night ahead. Janis: *Janis is holding herself rigid, eyes fixed as tight and strong on her parents letting them know in no uncertain terms to behave...and they did? Leaving it at cheery hellos and promises of dinner being done in about half an hour if they fancied it. Hm. First time for everything. Letting disbelief at their ability to be normal for once in their friggin' lives (where had this been all the other times she'd begged them/the universe for it?!) carry her up the stairs behind Jim. She let him flounder in the burrow-like corridors of upstairs, so different to the openness of the downstairs, that'll teach you to go ahead, boy, she thought with a smirk, now pushing in front with arms wide open.* Pick a door, any door! *She laughed, heading to her own before he actually did, not knowing who was in.* Welcome to my humble-abode... *She added, as they were over the threshold, kicking her gym bag, over-spilling with laundry, aside. She sat down on her unmade bed to assess, from outsiders, from his, eyes. Not here enough anymore that it was critically messy, that was good; old posters covering up old holes in the plaster from older anger, nothing cringe, thankfully but- It was a bit sad, to be honest...bare, lacking...anything, personality, life. She sighed. Red-faced from embarrassment and redder still from anger at feeling that embarrassment. She didn't care about herself, yeah. And what? And what is that her room said as much in no uncertain terms and having him see it was just- well. Shaming. Time for a joke.* If this setting don't get you in the mood, I don't know what will. Jimmy: *10 kids, he reminds himself, when he reaches the top and is met with an upstairs that belongs to a different house. That disconnect continues, growing, when Janis opens one of the doors in the maze. Hers. He's got no room to judge, none of his house looks lived in yet, as if Cass can protest having to by refusing to help unpack, knowing he doesn't have (or want to make, 'cause there's enough stuff in there for it to be boring, but then there's what's missing too, which is worse. Depressing.) the time to tackle the unopened box on his own after months. He isn't. Judging, that is. But he can't stop himself looking about, eyes focusing again on what there is, and isn't. What it means. And doesn't. Fuck. What a pair, they are like. Jimmy has to say something, silence will have her thinking all kinds of shit that isn't right. Least of all that he's a twat. Which, sort of is. He's equipped to be that though, which is something. He can easily grin at her, fall into simple, old habits. Banter by numbers that'll be #nodrama for her to throw back at him. 'Cause whatever his dad might think right now, he's not the dickhead trying to make everything harder. Why would he? The day to day shit already has that covered. So he aims his biggest 'heart eyes' at her, from the earliest days of their fakery, hiding any real expression in the over-the-topness of it all, for her as much as him (he tells himself, without needing much convincing with the blush spotted. It isn't thanks his charms, they both know. But in a second they can pretend it's his cringe factor.)* Only got eyes for you, babe. We could be anywhere. *Still, even as he's mocking himself with mimicking throwing up in his mouth, before she can, naturally, passed that, somewhere real he's deciding that should she suggest getting out of here to elsewhere tonight he's not about to fight it. Wherever they end up. #nocringe. It'd be too much of a lie to act like asking to come here was too much and everything that's come after, as a result, is too. He shouldn't have done it and there's no wonder everything's been off since. Her room could be the same as downstairs and he wouldn't wanna stay there, would he? It's his 'vibe' fucking things. Cheers dad. Jimmy sighs, throwing himself on the bed, and turning it into the appreciative whistle he didn't do at the door. Fucking hell.* Janis: *The eye-roll comes so hard it has her reeling, spinning out in her own head. At least, its better for them both if she pretends that's what's got her feeling dazed and disorientated. Sick with not knowing how to play this. No 'oh my, a boy in my room!' giddiness, fuck that shit. It was 'oh my, having to spend time in this depressing pit'. And his hand forced to spend his time here too. It'd be different if he had wanted to. Maybe. Okay, probably not. But if he had wanted to then they really wouldn't care where they were, paying no mind to anything but each other, not like his car was a lambo or like she'd given two fucks then, so it might've been tolerable. Ignorable, at the very least. But he HAD to be here. Nowhere else to go. That paired with how this room inadvertently showed all her cards had her feeling as bare as their surroundings, #exposed as they would say for the craic. Not that she was mad at him for not begging to sleepover just 'cos he wanted her so bad, again, fuck that shit hard. Not that girl. Everything was just weird and off and it didn't lend itself to a good night's sleep for either of 'em, she was willing to bet. She shrugged, those muscles so overworked, never skipped, massaging at the tension there in vain. Bounced from the dramatic way he flung himself down, she rests herself down on her elbow beside him, face to face.* If you want, we can go to the Barn. Its kitted out, like- *She pauses, thinking back on the times when it had been a place they all made Diego's films together, the times it had been Edie and Rio's bedroom, sneaking in there with them, leaving Grace alone in the dark of their old shared room. Now, well- She spent even less time in there than she did here. Only venturing when it was so dark and she felt so alone, it just felt right to hide out in there; harking back to all those many nights she'd sneak out, praying Edie would be there again, and to the one night, she was. Tucked up in her bed as if she'd never left. As if she wasn't really there. But she was. She was. And she'd gestured for her to get in with her and they'd just held each other...Janis holding on for dear life, determined to NEVER let go, so she couldn't leave again. She thought she felt the same desperation, in the way her big sister clutch to her too, almost hurting her but she would have never of complained. Determined to keep her in sight, eyes wide open and staring into hers, barely visible in the dark but there. She was there. Of course, she had fell asleep, and of course, when she awoke, the sun was up and Edie was gone. She was just a fucking kid, like. 'A fucking failure is what you were. And are.' She shook her head. At least the barn HAD memories, more than you could say of the box room she'd relegated herself too. No longer able, or needing to share with anyone. Not Grace. Or Rio and Edie. They'd all gone. Empty rooms to fill.* All mod cons and a comfy bed, like. But you can keep that between us and add to your sob story, yeah? *She mimics the tiny violin he was always sending, #IRLShade like, hoping the piss-taking would distract from the disjointed nature she'd made that offer in. Ghosts refusing to let her go, let her be with him fully. She never could be. It was the sad kind of hurt when you just know, know that whatever you're doing, or want to do, won't work. And knowing this and knowing you're gonna hurt the other person, so far so clueless. Oh, Jim. Why do you think I was on my own when you met me, boy?* Jimmy: *He's fucked it instantly, looking at her too hard, all the bollocks stripped back and away by how close she is, suddenly, though he should have expected it. Not like her bed's big enough for anything much else, but he never does, somehow. Still. Ever. Breathing hurts but he forces himself not to keep it shallow, refusing to swap places so soon when she was meant to be the one swooning. Fake or not. And there's so much real shit he wants to say, but can't. Again, too much. It leaves him only inhaling and sighing, brooding like the kinda poser he isn't trying to be on any day. Least of all this one. Does it matter though? It doesn't feel like it when his hand drops before it can reach out, touch her in any way, jokes as out of bounds as anything. He isn't meant to be lost with her, but tonight doesn't give a fuck about that, does it? He jumps on the offer a change, nodding, frantic for a kick that'd have him behaving like less of a dick. Please. The fucking break he hasn't asked her for is there, inching closer to letting itself be said, and he's scared of that, going there like.* Alright. *He wants to give himself a smack for how quiet he sounds. Serious. Okay knobhead, calm it. Good luck following that through when you know you've got none though, Jim. He's up and taking her hand before he can dwell on it, moving to take the lead as far as retracing their steps and being out. He can handle that geography. Jimmy does allow himself a pause small enough only to draw a cross over his heart playfully once she's played the violin for him. Thanks, mate. It's almost spoken aloud 'cause of the relief the familiarity of it , brought here and now, comforts him. Alright, calm it again, tosser. But yeah, that works, letting him. He walks stretching their linked hands as far as possible while staying connected, laughing genuinely, still soft but out there. He draws a quick tick over the same space, hurriedly.* Done. Janis: Alright. *She confirms with a nod as serious as his close-to-silence was. Couldn't accuse him of being a man of too MANY words usually, like, but still, spoke volumes, didn't it? Could write friggin' volumes on how badly she was fucking it up with him now. That's what you did after break-ups, right? Write wanky (in all the ways) poetry. Fuck that. Get the fuck out of your own head, fucking eejit! Now! He's still here yet. She seized the conversation by the balls, 'fore it got away from her grasp again, immediately adding-* Alright, alright, alright! *Matthew McConaughey style. 'Cos Christ, someone had to cut through the tension and she weren't about to invite the fam up to give it a go. Fuck that, too. Even if it was awkward as arse, to say the least, and the dead and buried past was unearthing itself just to try drag her under tonight- she still wanted it to be just them. Him and her, fuck the rest. And that was something. Even if that was all she could get, all she still had. She'd cling to that with bleeding, broken nails, jaw clamped, teeth sunk deep in the flesh of it. It was something. She was so fucking used to, so fucking sick of, nothing. A promise, or a prayer, she repeated it over and over, 'til she near believed it herself. With this in mind, she pulls on the hand that is leading her, pulls him back, understanding his rush and only wanting to slow it for one thing. She mimics shooting him where he had been tracing, where she wants to trail her own fingers badly, as he draws in, she puts her fist over his heart, thumping up and down, up and down, before exploding out- And with that, she kisses him, as desperate as he was to take up her offer and run, she needed this more. And she had never known anything she needed more than to run. But she did. She did.* Done. *She mirrors, drawing her lips away from his, with a smirk. Ahead again, one foot on the top step.* Jimmy: *He's about to descend back into mockery, the words 'all about the obscure refs, you' there, ready to go if he's willing to release them, thoughts already going backward, onto the typed convo where she tried to give him an artsy education, school him about muses, all of that, but before he can take the step she's pulling him, literally to where she's forced a stop. In the first second he's tense, thinking it's a full one, that she's done with him and the company he isn't being tonight, but before he can fall further into his pit (he's in there enough, prior that she's tried to dig at him with her best McConaughey, for fuck's sake) he all but floats out. There's no # that could cover this in his stunted imagination, he thinks, before his brain shuts off. The kiss is more than the break he didn't have the balls to ask for (though it lasts about as long as the one he'd gave her, standing on some twat's marble floor). It's a separation from all the shit that's been running him ragged for days, forcing him to run here in the first place. Jimmy knows then that he'll stay, has to, not 'cause there's nowhere else to go, but 'cause nowhere else exists when she kisses him like that. Fuck. It basically escapes, not as the word, but in sound that he can't escape either. Doesn't want to. The only thing he cares about is keeping this close to her and knowing she's alright with him being there. More than fucking alright like.* Nah mate *He retorts breathlessly, clawing back some strength back only as his hands find her hips and use the grip he's found there to spin her body round to face him. He isn't done yet, there's no chance. Not now she's given him one to erase the last few days and land him back into decent ones with her. Jimmy's an echo of how he was after running from Mr Lucas and he's not letting go of that. What for? 'Cause his dad wants him to. Fuck that and fuck him. What was he done with was feeling like shit. So of course he kissed her again, sinking only into the depths of that, trying to say everything with it that he couldn't verbally. Needing to have a go even though it meant hearing Janis' clatter into the beginnings of the banister with the force of everything he was desperate for her to know, 'cause if he pulled back then that'd be it and he's not having that. Fuck no. He's lost enough, tonight's bed being the least of it. Janis: *If she was going to complain, (she wasn't), he doesn't give her the time, or space, to do so. Exactly what they both needed; and she didn't need to reckon that. Crashing together, crashing into the wall, like. No room for anything to come between 'em, not their thoughts or past or any of that bullshit; all blurring into background nothingness, where it belonged. In these moments, there was nothing but them and their need. And it was good. Really good. The kind of good she didn't need to second-guess or overthink. Just be in it and soak in every second, every touch, the heat and feel of his skin against hers, alive, human, real. The violence of the urgency, the competitive one-upping- Not only keeping it interesting (to say the fucking least) but keeping it as something she could understand, something that didn't scare the living shit out of her, frankly. Easy as breathing, this; Though both theirs was heavy now, laboured from the control of letting some of said go, whilst not losing themselves to it so wholly that they alerted someone to it, spoiling their fun for the second time in a week. A game of meeting every kiss of his with more, and then some. Biting, tugging at his bottom lip in, trying in vain to make the kiss even deeper. Nails dug into his shoulders, pulling him down with her as her back slid down the wall, him sat at the top of the stairs, her on his lap. 'How did you stop yourself though?' A faint voice in the back of her mind pondered, with no intention to found within her. Clearly, they needed the Mr. Lucas' of the world or they'd never get anything else done. Clearly channeling the man himself, Pablo chose this time to appear out of his room, quite literally stumbling onto the scene, and them, Janis sticking out an arm (and jumping off Jim's lap) with lightning reflexes so he didn't topple down the fucking stairs.* Oops, watch it... *She didn't have time (nor desire) to be embarrassed. Her older Brother's mumbly, half-asleep grumbles of 'a-fucking-gain? Really Janis?!' and promises to 'have words with you, later!' to Jim, had her creasing. When Pablo was out of sight, and out of mind as soon as, she rested her head on the shoulder she'd left nailmarks in, kissing it gently though she wasn't particularly sorry about it.* Jimmy: *It isn't until she has to save him from hitting the bottom of the stairs with a thud that he even sorts out in his head again where they are, beyond the abstract bollocks of 'together' and all that. It takes that much to get through to him, but he isn't sorry, 'cause he isn't alone in it. If he's falling, figuratively as well as the near literal, then she is too. And that's alright by him. More than fucking alright, as per like. Jimmy can laugh through this interruption, at what it takes to pull them apart now (unlucky Mr Lucas but you probably won't cut it next time) adding to it himself with the breathless whisper of 'fucking hell, mate' that finds only her ear as he shakes his head affectionately at the pair of 'em. Janis' brother's appearance (along with anything he might have said) forgotten as soon as it's happened, same as before. If they'd been any room for it he might have felt bad for the lad, keeping mugging him off like that, but he still wants what he wants. Needs, honestly. There's no forgetting, or ignoring that any 'itch' has only been scratched so far as to make it more 'itchier', more noticeable in the first place. It's a crap analogy but it's what's there as he pulls her down the stairs and back towards the door, rougher and noisier that he would if he could make a string of thoughts or words fit together properly to promise her that this still isn't done. Jimmy 'reckons' in a semi coherent idea that he'll barricade the barn door with any or all manner of shit, once they are there,  to guarantee no more interruptions tonight. Bet on that, mate, his expression says, as they go. Jinx. Fuck. He almost kicks the door in frustration upon hearing the shout for dinner, her dad's head catching them as 'ready' for it. Pfft. No chance. It smells good, yeah, but there's no contest. Janis feels, looks and smells incredible like. Meals can wait, they always did at his, even when he had his mum there to do his job of moving a tray of something from freezer to cooker, or his pop's of fetching a takeaway when in from work, there was no sitting down at a this or that time. No table to eat at either, just the sofa, or his bed when he was being the type of utter dickhead that only a certain age manages, whenever it was put in front of him. Here at Janis, that time, was right now. And worse, ('cause of course there's worse with his English luck) before he can do a dash that'd have that school day looking like slo-mo, his stomach rumbles, sealing the deal and their fates. His girlfriend has never let him go hungry yet. Shit. To be continued then.*

[birlcholtz]

Ch. 8: come home (to you, to us)

ao3 | ch. 1 | part of the zimbits airport au

About half an hour later, Bitty hears the garage door open and close, and then Coach and Suzanne’s muffled voices. Nobody comes upstairs to find him, so he disregards it and goes back to rambling in the old group chat that Shitty had insisted on keeping around— even once he, Lardo, Ransom, and Holster had graduated and Bitty was the only group chat member still at Samwell, Shitty claimed it was ‘his duty’ to give them updates on what was going on.

Bitty: i mean what am i even supposed to do now that i don’t have hockey as motivation to exercise

Bitty: running is gross

Bitty: punching bags are just.... ew, not good

Bitty: weights are meh

Bitty: i can’t just do squats???

Ransom: well jack’s solution to that problem was to join a pro hockey team

Bitty: i’m not getting paid to exercise

Holster: u should like

Holster: join an amateur league

Holster: or smth

Lardo: dude just accept that you can’t afford a car and public transportation is expensive and you’re gonna have to walk everywhere

Lardo: gettin those 10000 steps a day

Lardo: millennial exercise

Shitty: stop being depressing in the group chat LARDO

Shitty: (but she’s right)

Bitty: ew reality

Ransom: can u get a gym membership?

Bitty: not until i have money

Holster: burn calories by running away from your problems

Holster: zoom

Shitty: hOLSTER

Holster: shits ur literally still in school u don’t have to deal with this yet

Shitty: truE BUT STILL

Holster: u small bean

Shitty: ...bitch???

After that, the group chat moves at lightspeed, and Bitty’s content just to sit back and watch it happen. He counts no less than eight invocations of Holster’s age and size advantage and three of Shitty’s mustache. It’s only when there are soft footsteps in the hallway and a knock on Bitty’s door that he realizes how long he’s been sitting there watching his fellow alums (oh God) descend into a near brawl.

“Hey, Dicky,” his mother says when he gets up and opens the door. “Dinner’s ready, if you want it now. If not, we’ll save some for you and you can heat it up when you’re hungry. Your father told me you’re having a rough day.”

Bitty sighs. “It’s been a trying one,” he offers, and Suzanne nods in acknowledgement. He takes the now-empty plate of pralines, since there’s no point in leaving it in his room, and they walk downstairs in silence.

Dinner is interesting in that it’s so different from usual. Suzanne is willing to avoid making Bitty talk, but for once it’s Coach who carries the conversation. He carefully steers it away from Bitty at every opportunity, which is nice of him, but Bitty is completely verbal, he’s just... well, he’s tired. The tears left him feeling dried-up, almost, and Bitty doesn’t have enough energy to be emotional. He probably should’ve taken a nap before dinner, but it’s too late now. He can just go to bed early and hope that sleep serves as a reset of some sort— maybe he won’t wake up feeling so drained.

“Oh, and I’m hoping you can tell me what happened to all of those pralines that we made,” Suzanne says to Coach with a faint smile as she takes the third-to-last piece of garlic bread. “Funnily enough, a lot of them seemed to have vanished by the time I got home.”

“That was mostly me,” Bitty speaks up. His parents glance over at him in surprise, probably because he hasn’t been saying anything. “But Coach started it.”

When Suzanne looks over at Coach to confirm or deny that, he just shrugs.

“Well, alright then,” she says, and moves on while Bitty is still wondering if he should take the opportunity in front of him. She’s asking Coach about the plans for new locker rooms at the high school before he can say anything else.

Bitty finishes his food in silence, and then sits and stares at the table, not wanting to go to bed with the prospect of telling his mother still hanging over his head, but not wanting to say the words either. There’s no lead-in this time, no convenient discussion of roommates that he can use to bring it up. So how?

Coach must have assumed that Bitty’s not going to tell Suzanne tonight, because he’s still determinedly talking at length about how the team will have more locker space to store their gear. He’s only just started extolling the virtues of the new lighting when Bitty folds up his napkin and sets it neatly on the placemat. When he stands up, both of his parents look at him in surprise, and the force that he pushed his chair back with probably was surprising.

Bitty picks up his plate and cup to take to the dishwasher before saying, “Mom, I’m gay.”

The words come out calmer than he’d expected.

Suzanne blinks.

“I’m gay,” he repeats. “And I’m dating Jack Zimmermann.”

Then he puts his cup and plate in the sink and goes up to his room and shuts the door and sits on his bed and squeezes Señor Bun’s paw with one hand while he unlocks his phone with the other and composes three texts and sends them off.

The first one is to last year’s starting line. Chowder, Nursey, Dex, Whiskey, and Tango. Bitty reserves more personal things for this group chat instead of the team-wide one— not just because he was the captain, but also because there are only so many people he actually wants to vent about his life to. Hey y’all, just came out to my mom, send good vibes my way pls.

The second is to the same alumni groupchat that only just finished calming the fuck down. sooo now my mom knows im gay and that i have a boyfriend, am currently waiting in my room hoping that when i come back down things will be ok. left b4 she cld react.

The third is to Jack. told my mom, went to my room without waiting to see how she reacted. gonna go back down and see what the fallout is in like half an hour. i have a bag packed just in case, i’ll let you know if i’m coming over.

Jack responds immediately, as do other people who’d gotten one of his first two texts, but Bitty answers Jack’s first.

Jack: I have a rental car if you need a ride. Just let me know.

Bitty: i don’t think i will, but i’ll call and give u an update once i know more

Bitty: rn i’m just killing time

Jack: I’ll call you in an hour to check in if I don’t hear from you before then.

Bitty: talk to u in a lil bit

The two group chats that he’s texted have blown up over the course of his short conversation with Jack, mostly expressions of hope from the frogs and tadpoles and calm texts from the other alums meant to reassure. Bitty sends the frogs and tadpoles a quick thank you before turning to the other group chat.

Bitty: i have a contingency plan if things go horribly bad

Bitty: but my dad is ok w it

Bitty: so im giving him and my mom time to talk before i go back down there

Lardo: i think that’s a good idea

Holster: Pls. keep us updated about what’s happening.

Holster: Ransom is in the shower but he says if you need help w. anything hit us up.

Holster: (I concur)

Lardo: same, i already said u can crash on our couch, it’s ok if u want to stay here for a while

Lardo: but if ur dad is fine w it then i’m sure ur mom will be too

Shitty: ^^^^^

Shitty: dw

Shitty: #smhgotyourback

Holster: shitty i have been a college graduate for over a year and i’m crying over a gd hashtag.

Holster: why

Shitty: u know it’s true brah

Bitty’s stomach hurts when he walks downstairs, nauseous anticipation. He feels tense. His shoulders are hunched practically up to his ears.

He drops his bag in the front hallway before turning and walking into the kitchen. Suzanne and Coach are there, still sitting at the table. There are three glasses of sweet tea. Without that clue, Bitty wouldn’t have thought that they’d gotten up at all.

“Please sit down, Dicky,” Suzanne says when she sees him standing in the doorway.

Bitty sits, and for a little while, that’s what they do. Sit in silence. Until she sighs and says, “I will admit that whenever I pictured my future family, I always thought that my child would be straight.” She looks tired. “Although I can’t say I’m exactly surprised, either.”

Coach takes a sip of his tea.

“I’m not going to pretend to understand, because I don’t,” Suzanne says. “But I love you. You’re still my son, Eric Richard Bittle Junior. You still bake and you still skate and you’re still going to Boston to find a job in a week. None of that has changed.”

“No, it hasn’t,” Bitty agrees quietly.

“And I don’t want you going halfway across the country thinking I don’t love you, or you’re disowned, because neither of those things are true. I won’t lie to you and say it’s a great idea to tell the rest of the family— I’m sure you’ve already thought about that— but when it comes down to it, family you see twice a year aren’t as important as family you’re with every day, and I’m sure you know that too.” She drinks some of her tea. “I just hope that home doesn’t become such a painful place for you that you can never come back. Even if it’s just for a visit.”

“I haven’t left yet, Mama.”

Suzanne sniffs. Coach silently gets up and brings back a box of tissues, setting it on the table equidistant from his wife and his son. “That is true, isn’t it. I’m not letting you leave without trying that pot roast.”

Bitty smiles a little. “I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”

Bitty: it went ok

Chowder: that’s great!!!! congratulations!!!!!!!

Nursey: good to know

Tango: are u still coming up to mass. for the summer or are u staying there??

Bitty: still coming to boston!

Dex: see you soon then!

Whiskey: :) :) :)

Bitty: she’s not thrilled but she’s ok w it

Lardo: fuckin called it

Holster: excuse u u did not call anything

Lardo: umm yes i did???

Ransom: that’s good to hear bitty, we’re v happy for u except holster is busy being irritated at lardo? apparently?

Shitty: congrats brah, that’s a big thing you just did

Shitty: totally celebrating when u get here

Bitty: so overall everything went fine, my mom is not exactly ecstatic but she’s happy i told her

Bitty: oh and my parents want to meet u since i mentioned u were staying in madison for a little while?

Bitty: ur officially invited to the bittle residence on tuesday for pot roast

Jack: I’ll be there. How do you feel?

Bitty: lighter i guess?

Bitty: it hasn’t sunk in that i’m rlly out to both of my parents and it went ok

Jack: It’ll sink in eventually.

Bitty: yup

Jack: And you also never have to come out to your parents again.

Bitty: that’s a definite plus

Jack: Go to sleep early okay? You sound exhausted.

Bitty: i am

Bitty: yeah i’m gonna do that now. gn, ttyl, love you <3

Jack: I love you too. <3 <3 <3 <3

Jack: Talk to you tomorrow.

Bitty: :)

Jack: :-)