#already on weekend talk
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Monaaaaaaaaaa
Arttttt also hi how are you? What have you been up to
tgat is so cute!!!! liking the colours so far :3
im good!! just winding down after work and thinking abt tomorrow and how its gonna go and etc. looking forward GREATLY to the weekend
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📸 by Martin Trenkler
#max verstappen#autumn posts#AHHH THE NEWS!! I am so happy for him!!!! 🥹❤️✨#over the moon for them both ahhh#sending them all the best wishes!!!#and omg his comment about already being a bonus dad 😭❤️ MY HEART#he's so wonderful 🥺💞✨#also Martin is a real one for this hashtag 😳 hehe!#that glow ✨🌅✨#ahhh#I usually don't blog about drivers' off track / non sports lives as much since it's not my jam#but with all his talk of wanting to be a dad!! and how hard it seemingly has been? just awww my heart#our boy is speedrunning life 🏎️✨#sad talk potentially ahead but ............#if he does retire sooner than later I get it!! I'll be bummed but excited to follow his career wherever#just like Daniel like bro say the word and I'll get into supercars 🫡❤️#very Fellowship of the Ring 'you have my sword' type beat#anyways!! I gotta run to work!!#sadly office life is keeping me off the insta search 😭#this weekend I'll have a little time!! one family thing and gasp .... a date!!!!!#I met a gal last weekend a local gay bar and now we're getting brunch 😳❤️ we shall see!!#my heart is open and go with the flow#especially since Merc in retrograde has me 😵💫 hehe#anyways!! I gotta run!!#sending everyone the most excellent of energy and happy Friday vibes!! 💖✨✨#hope its a great time of day!! 🌇🏙️🌃❤️
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My thesis supervisor: I've been thinking about something you said last week - that you aren't sure if you're going to do a master's degree. I believe you mean you're considering moving to another city?
Me: ...no. I'm not sure if I'm going to do a master's at all.
Him: why not?
Me: I worry it'll be too hard for me.
Him: [gives me a long look] Do you hear yourself?
#ajsidksnsksksjd#i only went there to ask if i can skip next thesis lab and to show him the spectra i worked on over the weekend#how did we end up talking about [gestures vaguely] this#he said he never forces students to do anything but he already has a msc thesis topic for me 😭#i was like im going through a hard time rn#and he said not to take any decisions then bc it's a bad idea and to wait for it to pass instead#bc then hopefully ill 'realize what im saying now' snjhsks#he also called me meticulous and of great intellectual potential and i was just like :')))#he doesn't give compliments away on a daily basis okay#he said im just not brave enough yet and that a chemist has to be a little crazy lol#phew my goodness did i need to hear something like this#txt#op#thesis tag
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Monaco GP '24 // Carlos & Naomi preview Monaco from the air
"[Monaco] was my first podium with Ferrari. And you feel special, you feel something really different... [The podium]'s nearly level with the mechanics. You're closer to everyone. You've seen, for so many years, drivers standing on that podium. For me, if I would have to choose three races to win, it would be Monaco, Monza as a Ferrari driver (or Imola), and my home grand prix." "Ferrari just needs a track that suits us to win... Let's see - if we nail a good weekend and the stars align, it could be a Ferrari chance here."
#so many good little moments in here#him talking about his future contract...#mentioning both of his twink boyfriends as drivers who he wants to win more races soon...#him predicting the 'stars align'ing for a ferrari win that weekend...#idk if this was posted on here yet but I hadn't seen it#lmk if it's already somewhere!#carlos sainz#naomi schiff#Monaco GP '24#2024#video#sky sports#formula one#f1#ferrari#monaco grand prix 2024
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Favorite and least favorite activities, if you’re willing to share?
Also, did you learn anything about what’s going on with the new guy down the hall? Sure, you were supposed to stay out of it, but you’ve got to at least be a little curious, right?
LEO: *quiet guilty thoughts because he can't ask about if Loki is like Loki in the movies* *pretending to know anything about Norse mythology*
MAGNUS: *overthinking about Uncle Randolf and the Loki symbols* *forgetting that Norse demigods aren't the only demigods bc they still haven't talked about his Greek cousin*
prev ask
#at some milestone I'm thinking magnus should answer some questions! but probably not for another lil bit (I'm on vacation this weekend)#for now feel free to keep prompting for these interactions bc I live for it#Leo's got other activities to go to and people to meet; he also needs to be presented by Sam to the einherjar...#Leo I think this is your hint to talk to Magnus some more#leo valdez#magnus chase#mcga#hotel valhalla#blood of olympus#post-blood of olympus#v²au#art#leo valdez responds#hammer of thor#magnus chase and the gods of asgard#*groans in probably setting myself up for a continuity error bc I've officially placed us on chapters 4-6 of HoT* whatever#alex fierro#bby's first appearance!#man I'm already thinking about all the things these 3 have to bond over I'm so happy for them#sidenote is the canonical croquet hate as funny to anyone as it is to me? I loved making that the thing they became friends over pls#also TBC they are not actually the chess pieces I was just showing which side they were on T-T
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People complaining about Tsukasa5 already are pissing me off, because like, it's so unbelievably obvious what this event is trying to do and the fact that people are so hung up on "urgh dur tsukasa strong why can't he do a wall climb".
Like, first of all, a lot of Tsukasa's strength has been used as comedy before and also it's never been said that Tsukasa could specifically do a wall climb before so people calling this a retcon or a stretch is really dumb to me.
Sure we can make jokes about it, but this is not like a serious writing problem or anything.
Also are we just gonna ignore the fact this event is literally just a reference to his 3rd event in a silly trenchcoat. Or the fact that this is obviously meant to be WxS's downtime and training arc to prepare them to face the loose plotpoints in the future?
His inner dialogue when chasing the ninja is very clearly a reference to the whole Pheonix thing, how he can't reach it no matter how hard he tries.
The wall climb is like an extremely fucking on the nose metaphor to him climbing over his issues as an actor.
THERE IS ALSO THE WHOLE THING THAT HINTS THAT TSUKASA CAN ONLY OVERCOME HIS PROBLEMS IF HE HAS HELP FROM OTHERS (AKA tsukasa would've literally BEEN INJURED, if it wasn't for the fact the troupe's leader was there).
In fact this literally followed an event aka Tsukasa 4 where he FAILED to do his role correctly.
It's almost like this event is meant to be a transition point between Tsukasa 4 and 6, where Tsukasa builds up the knwoledge on how to face his problems.
But no this is just mid event because it's very silly and "wow plot is stupid why can't tsukasa wall climb".
WxS fans are slowly just turning into VBS fans in terms of how whiney they're being i swear
#project sekai#pjsk#tsukasa tenma#tsukasa pjsk#prsk#wxs#wonderlandxshowtime#i'm sorry colorpalet decided to give wxs downtime after an entire arc of literal pain#maybe they should just rush the entire plot and make them face their final conflict immediatly#yk why not just have asahi pop up right now why don't you#sorry i'm gonna be salty about this#there was like one good twitter thread about this event and the entire training arc right now and i'm just#i'm holding that thread like my last sliver of hope for humanity's reading comprehension of wxs events#like if you find these event boring that's your personnal taste but to like#actively dismiss things as bad writing despite the intent being clearly obvious it's like#again vbs fans literally were whining and crying about how vbs were defeating rad weekend “already”#and then turns out when they fucking read the event it was actually the correct narrative decision#like wow look what happens when you wait#i'm also talking about myself because i was terrified of wxs getting a rushed arc ender#if you feel insulted by this post i'm NOT sorry /j#but no seriously it's fine if you don't like it i'm just annoyed that i already see a tide wave of people just not getting this event
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The cave au ^-^

CAVE AU.
This AU that I've kept in the back of my mind came purely from wanting to put the blorbos in cool low-lit atmospheres. The general idea behind the plot came from me deciding that because of the fantastical nature of the source material, I can really do whatever the heck i want. So I decided that the ground is growing!
Yeah, the surface is growing upwards, eating up whatever is built on it. For example, Tommy's little hill house doesn't get pushed higher up the hill; the ceiling stays where it is, but the ground below it grows around-- eventually the hill is much higher than the roof, eventually dirt and stone begins to consume, and eventually its gone.
It grows too fast for them to rebuild. Lakes are risen and walls crumble, causing massive floods. Ravines form and cave in on themselves, lava pools turn into volcanoes, all in the span of a few days. (magic™) It's sudden and violent and confusing, and there is no time to ask How or Why.
I compare it in my mind to how strangely and quickly mushrooms grow, which have always freaked me out lol
The prison fares much better and Sam holds out the longest, but eventually it too begins to get overwhelmed. Certain walls near the cell begin to bow in and the elder guardian system gets affected and suddenly it's a real security concern. He'll just build a new one underground : )
With how the ground is growing, the caverns below remain in-tact. They get much bigger, and expand much deeper than before. But the people above aren't the only ones having to adapt.
As I said in my last post about it, everyone travels primarily in one big sectioned group, at least until they find a relatively safe area to settle. The plan is to recreate some sort of hub as they had before, and people will be able to venture out from there if they wish. That includes Dream being forced along with the prison guards. But it does Not include Techno, Phil, and Niki. (Ranboo sticks with the big group- power in numbers!)
They go underground as well, but they do so separately, deciding tensions are bound to get high and wanting no part of it. But even as they enter the caverns from wildly different areas, Techno still catches wind of Dream being pulled along with the others, and starts working on a plan to give him a chance to escape.
#vault talks#cave au#i hope the anon who asked about it saw me struggling all weekend kjfhgd#i probably wont do much comic style stuff for this one since i already got enough of that elsewhere#but i do enjoy drawing the vibes
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This post and everyone’s tags on it have made me want to outline and/or write a fic where bells hells learn that the ‘dirt wizard’ from the malleus key and handsome fugitive wizard that’s escorting them to Aeor are in a relationship. Another outsider POV “wait, the wizards are dating?!?” fic, a la oh, by the way.
However, this has led me down a deep rabbit hole of figuring out exactly what the bells hells know about Caleb and what they know about Essek and what bits of information will connect once they realize that they know the guy Essek was gushing about. Which is really difficult! Because I’ve been making these connections since they were mere suggestions! I have all this context that lets me know that the Widogast that sent an archivist from the cobalt soul is the old friend that lead Astrid to cooperate with the interrogation, who is the same person that Essek said he was going to talk to before bed!! Did the Bells Hells even have the mental bandwidth to remember the singular comment that Seth was “sent by Widogast”?
Anyways, my brain is flooded with information and I’m 95% sure Allura knows Essek and has talked dunamancy with him now.
#oh by the way is only 900 words! I would be aiming for short and funny!#I’m pretty sure I have more than 900 words of notes already 😭#I am synthesizing information on a weekend and my brain hurty#cr spoilers#essek thelyss#caleb widogast#shadowgast#eve talks
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This is your last warning, share the fic or else ☠️☠️🔪
(any fic you're comfortable enough to share sweetie 🥰)
so I've been angsting about how much is too much to drop as a snippet, like I'd be giving you a whole chapter from the middle of a long ass fic, or spoiling the end, or dropping a few highlights out of context??
so i guess I will drop the a scene my partner chose at random lol Light spoilers for Backyard Heathens (My religious Sunan slow burn gaalee that I have not posted or finished yet 🙃)
Gaara’s swamped in paperwork; drowning in preemptive piles of legislature that he wishes could wait until after the coming festivities. The council is stubborn in their grip to hold on to ‘tradition’ but getting funding for the yearly celebration before the rainy seasons was like pulling teeth. The old fogies can’t stand to see the general morale of Suna’s citizens rising every season. Namely, they don’t like to see the younger people having fun. They have a scarcity mindset despite growing technological advancements and stronger trade agreements.
Suffice to say, they relented in the budget but Gaara is now being punished with the duty of reallocating remaining funds appropriately. He’s trying to remember if the irrigation system will need maintenance soon when Kankuro trudges dramatically into the Kazekage office without knocking.
“What is it?” Gaara offers flatly.
“You’re such a grumpy bitch this week. You could at least pretend-” Gaara rolls his eyes to his brother in a sharp glare, “Fine, fine. I see you’re busy but I need to drag you out into the daylight for a bit. Fazluna needs you to meet her at the front to go over the security rotations for the festival.”
“The front office?” Gaara asks but he’s already tossing the irrigation logs onto his ‘in progress pile’ to be dealt with later.
Kankuro offers a sympathetic look and leans against the door frame expectantly, “Sorry, kid. Front of the village.”
Gaara gets up and mutters that he ought to check the irrigation himself anyways, but the way he sighs begrudgingly says enough about his displeasure.
“Come onnnnnn, some sun is actually good for you, yknow? Besides, I thought you were excited about this year, it’s the big one for you!” Kankuro’s tone is teasing as they walk.
Gaara can admit that sun feels good, but it’s higher humidity these days, the first streaks of clouds forming stringy in the bright sky, and Gaara does not appreciate the sweat forming on his back and neck. His jacket clings uncomfortably, but he can’t remove it because a plain shirt is improper for a young kage like himself.
“It’s not as if this one will be any different.“ Gaara finally grumbles once the towering entrance to Suna is within his sight.
“Think you won’t get any suitors brave enough to approach you?” Kankuro teases.
Gaara huffs derisively, “Hopefully not. I’m not interested anyways.”
Kankuro gives him a sidelong glance like he knows something Gaara doesn’t. “Not anyone from here you mean.” He titters obviously, “You’re just grumpy ‘cause none of your friends can make it.” Before Gaara can respond, they're stopping next to Fazluna just outside the Sand stone walls. They immediately launch into a very dull and standard recounting of the shift changes for the festival and Gaara is getting irritated now. They clearly don’t need Gaara for this and Kankuro dragged him away from a full desk of work for nothing. And to add insult, he had to remind Gaara why his mood was so sour.
Although Gaara is grateful to have so many friends, he is actually kind of upset that no one can make it over to Suna for this particular one. It’s a big deal for most in his culture, a coming of age sort of thing. The Squall is supposed to symbolize renewal. Death and nurturing the seeds of rebirth. It’s also a time of indulgence, a brief reprieve from the dry, barren heat, where water is plentiful and one is free to celebrate excess. And at Gaara’s current age, people are allowed to publicly court him.
He dreads that part. He doesn’t want to be running away from groupies (Kankuros phrasing) or politically motivated dignitaries. He wants to be able to celebrate with people he actually likes. Most of his closer friends have learned to play guard dog at these functions so even just one would be a comfort. Gaara understands regardless. They’re all busy in their own villages with their own obligations and missions. Even in a time of peace, he finds everyone pulled in many directions. It hadn’t really bothered him until he got his response letter from Lee, confirming he wouldn’t be able to sneak over to Suna in time. He apologized profusely even though Gaara had omitted the importance of this year specifically. He tries to tell himself he doesn’t feel a bit sad and a bit emptier, he already knew after all, expected the answer but he offered the invitation anyways. Lee is a bad influence on him sometimes. Gaara struggles with expectations, and he stumbles with Lee the most. Maybe it’s best Lee can’t make it then. Gaara can focus on the practical aspects and-
“Hey,” Kankuro slaps Gaara’s shoulder with the back of his hand, interrupting Gaara’s internal spiral, “What’s that?”
Gaara blinks and follows the direction of Kankuro’s lazy point to the open desert before them. He squints against the melting mirages on the horizon and barely makes out a cloud of sand. For a moment Gaara stiffens in alarm because whatever this is, it’s approaching fast. He wasn’t warned of anyone coming to the village today, maybe one of his teams wrapped up early??
Then, in a blink, a flash of green in the kicked up sand. Gaara’s eyes go so wide they burn a bit, in disbelief even as he focuses his chakra out to sense who it was. The ninja beside him had stopped talking and Gaara turns his confused stare to his brother. He smirks back at him and snatches the kage hat off of the younger’s head.
“Is that-?” Gaara wheezes.
“Yeah, Go get him!” Kankuro says it like Gaara is stupid but he’s smiling and nods towards the growing dust devil and Gaara doesn’t even think about it.
His feet break into a sprint against his will. His gourd is tossed to the side in a rush. He’s not nearly as fast as the approaching ninja and sand begins pushing at his feet like it can propel him a bit faster. His skin is buzzing, he’s so sweaty and his face just gets hotter as Rock Lee comes into focus clearer and clearer.
Lee pushes himself to slow down as he approaches the walls of Suna, but his heart is dancing around his chest in nervous excitement and by the time he processes the redhead running right towards him he can’t withhold his shout of excitement.
“Gaara-kun!” He exclaims loud enough he’s sure it carried well into the village. However, once he really looks at Gaara, hair shining brightly in the midday, pretty blue eyes wide and locked directly on Lee, he almost stumbles. Suddenly it is difficult to pull in a full breath as Gaara leaps up, propelled by sand on his heels. His head blots out the sun for a brief second, but Lee can see it in slow motion, knows he’ll never forget this instant. Backlit by sunrays like a halo, eyes almost glowing when they curve up at the corners and one dimple obvious as he beams. Gaara lands right in Lee’s outstretched arms, squinting like he can’t contain the grin on his face. Lee thinks he has never seen anything so beautiful.
They collide heavily, Gaara gasping like he’s had the wind knocked out of him as Lee skids them both to a stop. He uses the momentum to spin Gaara in a quick circle as he trips over his feet. Sand comes up to steady their intertwined weight and Lee thinks he must be smiling so hard it looks like a grimace.
An elated laugh bubbles up and out and into sweaty red hair that sticks to his chin and mouth. Lee squashes Gaara against him just a bit tighter, not sure if it’s too hard. Gaara is huffing into his neck, trying to catch his breath after a rather impressive sprint from him! And Lee can’t help another happy spin before finally releasing him onto the ground.
Gaara lands gracefully as always, light as a grain of sand atop the shifting desert. And it’s all they can do but stare at each other in disbelief and Lee feels speechless. He watches Gaara slowly relax into a much calmer demeanor, like he’s caught himself, but he’s still got a dusting of pink across his cheeks. The corners of his mouth quirk up like he can’t quite contain it. It is rare to see Gaara so excited. Lee thrills at being the cause.
“I apologize for dropping by so last minute…” Lee manages to say on a nervous exhale. He had really thought Gaara might be mad at the surprise but the young Kazekage just shakes his head at the apology. He eyes Lee like he still isn’t sure if he’s really there.
“I thought you couldn’t make it?” Gaara finally says, no pleasantries, a straight shooter like always. His tone is light, though, almost airy, and it gives him away.
#gaalee#leegaa#ask#gaara x rock lee#gaara#rock lee#fic talk#backyard heathens#will i change the title by the time its done? probably lol#this is my passion fic and I want to post the damn thing already but i dont want to rushhhhh#maybe a bit ooc sometimes#but idc that much#hopefully I'll get the full draft finished this week#i finally finished the outline last weekend#anyway if anyone is actually interested in this i will not stfu about it#still gonna edit a bit but this is the most polished bit
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zandvoort weekend highlights 💘💘
#paul <33333 missed him#(even though he’s one of the most active drivers on ig 🫣)#i have a big urge to call him paulie#pic 2: oscar talking about his mom 🥺🥺🥺 he looked so happy and cute when the interviewer mentioned her#had to include the number 1 f2 wag pic ever 🤭 they’re the cutest#and the part of max’s lil vlog with oscar and george….. they both looked so good#i mean george 👀 i already have enough men pls stop#+ oscar liam logan !!!! sweethearts 💗 and obvs liam overtaking a ferrari#many ups and downs this weekend#will sleep very well tonight after this <3#f1#Oscar piastri#Liam lawson#clement novalak#Paul aron#screaming meals#formula one#formula 1#George russel#f2#formula two#formula 2#favorite pics of my favorite boys 💘
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best examples of slow burn you can think of? (i actually agree with your post i think we're losing the art of yearning nowadays)
WE REALLY ARE LOSING THAT AREN'T WE
i mean, i grew up with the x-files, so that's what my idea of an actual slow burn is like, and not just because it takes mulder and scully 7 (SEVEN!!!!!!!!!!) seasons to finally kiss, but because their progression from strangers to partners to friends to lovers is so gradual that the lines between all the different stages of their relationship are incredibly blurred, to the point that to this day fans of the series still argue over when exactly did they fall in love
another example of a good slow burn to me is, as cliche as it sounds, pride and prejudice. here the romance is the main focus of the story, but it's not born from an instant attraction: the characters (and the readers) actually need to learn more about each other before they can see the other's qualities and slowly fall in love with them
if we're talking about QLs, funnily enough the series that comes the closest to my idea of slow burn is still SOTUS. im fully aware that this show has its issues, but the pace and development in the romance between arthit and kongpob isn't one of them. honestly nobody can convince me that one of the main reasons it was able to gain so much popularity (other than being the first in the genre in so many ways) isn't because it's an actual slow burn with good pining, the kind of which we hardly ever get these days
other QL series that could fit my idea of slow burn are:
a tale of thousand stars
enchanté
history 3: trapped
my ride
not me
semantic error
vice versa (im the most terribly biased woman on earth, my bad)
im being very generous rn tho. i'd argue that some of these aren't exactly slow burn but simply well developed romance ;;;;;;;;
i think censored chinese BL adaptations like the untamed would be the ones that come closer to my idea of slow burn, because the lack of kisses and sex scenes forces the narrative to actually build the relationship between the main leads to make the story compelling, but this of course opens up a whole different bag of issues (i WANT the kisses!!!!! i WANT the sex!!!!! it just would be nice not to have them by episode 5 and be left wondering why these characters even like each other!!!!!!!)
unfortunately i have to admit that procedural straight romances (castle, bones, chicago fire, etc.) are the ones that get the balance right most of the time
#kinda started to digress at some point through this im sorry ;;;;;;#but yeah the x-files will always be THEE STANDARD for me when it comes to slow burn#but i think slow burn is also a very subjective concept#like for a lot of people thamepo is a slow burn and you'd think it would fit my idea of it too but nope#because yeah it's true that they kiss only in episode 9 but by episode 2 they already like each other#that's a gentle bubbling at best#ANYWAY. im shutting up now ;;;;;;;#still not sure if i actually answered your question tbh ;;;;;;#anyway hope you're having a wonderful weekend!!!!!! 💜#fandom talk#slow burn#m: ask
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🎃 Just a heads up, but my next four weekends are packed and my school term ends on like may 13th or smth so i may be a lil slow on tumblr in general
Im open to writing on discord if yall would like - im not primarily logged in on mobile so sometimes i dont see things very quick but im working on it, its always up on my backup laptop that i stream off while working so ya know
#im being guilt tripped into going to at least one easter this coming weekend#i dont really talk to either sides of my family so both is torture#but my dads side is at least not...uhhh...politically opposite#and then i have peaches swim lessons too same day#and her first show the weekend after#and health testing for our bully the weekend after that#and then i have to go into chicago to deliver some dog stuff to a friend the weekend after that and im#already so exhausted just from thinking about it lmao#anyway im mobile only tonight so 🤙🏻 cheers#out of scares | ooc
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Dunno how much of Conference I'm gonna watch because I'm going out for lunch(? dinner?) and drinks with my friends tomorrow, and they also invited me to a drag show on Sunday. If I don't liveblog, y'all BETTER post a lot so I can scroll through the tags afterward. Do NOT make me have to download Discord, gays 🔫🔫🔫🔫
#ik i have a lot of new mututals. if you're seeing this hello 👋 i'm an ex-mormon but i liveblog mormon conference twice a year#i did it for years when i was mormon and made a lot of friends on here that way so it's tradition for me#ok that's my lore drop for new mututals ✌️ if you see me crashing out over a guy called dallin ''hates the fags'' oaks. that's why#tumblrstake: you already know who i am and you guys know i'm always in those genconf tags 🫶 even when i'm watching off an edible lol#love you guys <3 we will get through the inevitable famproc talk TOGETHER 🔪#general conference#ldsconf#tumblrstake#queerstake#← (new mutuals those are the tags to block if you don't want to see any of these posts this weekend)#alcohol mention
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I've been texting with Monkey's mom to figure out when I can bring his birthday present(yes, he's still getting a present, even if I'm not watching him and Mermaid anymore) and it made me laugh she texted me at 6am. Bc I've been essentially part of the family for 9(!!!!) years now and she knows I'm up this early.
#queen rambles#already been invited + rsvp'ed yes to mermaid's bday party too#she's gonna be five#FIVE#monkey's NINE#i still have his baby pictures on my phone y'all#how is he allowed to be nine????#real talk i was a little worried sprout and mermaid's bday parties would be the same day/time#bc sprout's bday is the end of march#and i know in my heart going to mermaid's would win#like not even a question#zero hesitation#and i felt bad about that bc sprout is The Current Nannied Kid#but i love monkey and mermaid so muuccchhh#i'm so glad they live only like ten minutes from my house#we can still visit#fortunately the parties aren't even the same weekend so i can make both
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creation of adam but it's this photo of me handing scott the martini before his buddy cole set in the KITH toronto show

#just now i was feeling shitty and scrolling through youtube until i saw someone had posted a clip of the buddy monologue from that show#and the clip just happened to include my cameo!! so i may be just sitting in my childhood bedroom still unpacking from college at 2am#but on my phone is the image of me sharing the stage with my favorite comedian in front of over a thousand people#so y'know life isn't always one thing. i'm capable of being bored and stressed but also capable of THIS#i wanted to comment on the video to say hi but the original uploader's comments were off#but this did make me feel a lot better bc oh my god that was such a fun weekend#i should text scott soon to let him know i'm done with college. and see if i can make new year's a tradition again#i met scott on new years (and even tho i'd talked to bellini before it was also the day we met irl for the first time)#and last year i managed to convince paul to invite me and scott and some other friends over for new years bc i wanted it to be a tradition#not sure if paul's up for it this year but i did ask scott about it last time i was in toronto#when i asked his plans for new years he said he might be out of town (which is okay)#but then when i explained it was the anniversary of when we first met he was like ''no actually i'll be here'' which was funny#my friendships with bruce and paul are generally in a similar place to where we were at the beginning of the year#(like obviously knowing each other longer makes us closer but our dynamic hasn't changed which is still positive bc we were already friends#but holy shit december 2023 jessamine and scott are like unrecognizable compared to december 2024 jessamine and scott#and the fact that we technically haven't even known each other for two years is WILD like it won't be two years until the 31st#anyway i'm getting rambly i'm tired i should sleep. my circadian rhythm is messed up and the lighting problems in my room are not helping#goodnight everyone see you tomorrow for more nonsense
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#didn't have a big party for my 30th for reasons that were partly distance and partly insecurities/depression#this year being back closer to where my people are decided to do a big party instead this weekend#my first since my 21st (which was... a struggle for also distance related reasons and may have reinforced said insecurities)#i am having to remind myself. i am doing my best none of us get to practice this life#interrupting this to say i just mindlessly slapped at a tickle on my arm only to discover it was HUGE#not the sandflies we've been getting all day but a moth or something at least a cm big! (i grabbed it and threw it away without looking)#anyway. what was i saying. having a little moment where my insecurities are coming back in the middle of the night#and i wonder if i have - again - asked for less than i truly want because i didn't feel like anyone would give the full thing to me#but the point is: i asked for something i wanted and that's something that takes practice. and the point is: i get to try again next year a#d next year and next year. and the point is: we only live this life once but it is not a short life and there will be more chances#to celebrate with the people i love. to ask for what i want. to learn to listen to what i actually want before i make myself smaller out#of habit#but i DID ask for a party and i DID ask for someone who isn't me to host it (a thing i haven't asked for since probably my 21st tbh) and#that's already growth#and it will be fun! i'm a bit sad that no one from my most recent chapter of life can be there but it's no secret that social was hard ther#so i only have 3 friends i wanted to invite anyway and all of them live several hours away#(and one of them i knew couldn't come already when i planned it - she's at a hens party - but we talked about it and decided to go ahead)#idk. really it's ok. but part of why i'm doing this is as a challenge to my own insecurities (as well as because it will be fun!) and i#really pray this year will see some of those insecurities dwindling. that i will be able to really believe that i am lovable and loved.#that's my prayer.
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