#will i change the title by the time its done? probably lol
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bandsandwristbands · 21 days ago
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This is your last warning, share the fic or else ☠️☠️🔪
(any fic you're comfortable enough to share sweetie 🥰)
so I've been angsting about how much is too much to drop as a snippet, like I'd be giving you a whole chapter from the middle of a long ass fic, or spoiling the end, or dropping a few highlights out of context??
so i guess I will drop the a scene my partner chose at random lol Light spoilers for Backyard Heathens (My religious Sunan slow burn gaalee that I have not posted or finished yet 🙃)
Gaara’s swamped in paperwork; drowning in preemptive piles of legislature that he wishes could wait until after the coming festivities. The council is stubborn in their grip to hold on to ‘tradition’ but getting funding for the yearly celebration before the rainy seasons was like pulling teeth. The old fogies can’t stand to see the general morale of Suna’s citizens rising every season. Namely, they don’t like to see the younger people having fun. They have a scarcity mindset despite growing technological advancements and stronger trade agreements. 
Suffice to say, they relented in the budget but Gaara is now being punished with the duty of reallocating remaining funds appropriately. He’s trying to remember if the irrigation system will need maintenance soon when Kankuro trudges dramatically into the Kazekage office without knocking. 
“What is it?” Gaara offers flatly.
“You’re such a grumpy bitch this week. You could at least pretend-” Gaara rolls his eyes to his brother in a sharp glare, “Fine, fine. I see you’re busy but I need to drag you out into the daylight for a bit. Fazluna needs you to meet her at the front to go over the security rotations for the festival.”
“The front office?” Gaara asks but he’s already tossing the irrigation logs onto his ‘in progress pile’ to be dealt with later.
Kankuro offers a sympathetic look and leans against the door frame expectantly, “Sorry, kid. Front of the village.”
Gaara gets up and mutters that he ought to check the irrigation himself anyways, but the way he sighs begrudgingly says enough about his displeasure. 
“Come onnnnnn, some sun is actually good for you, yknow? Besides, I thought you were excited about this year, it’s the big one for you!” Kankuro’s tone is teasing as they walk. 
Gaara can admit that sun feels good, but it’s higher humidity these days, the first streaks of clouds forming stringy in the bright sky, and Gaara does not  appreciate the sweat forming on his back and neck. His jacket clings uncomfortably, but he can’t remove it because a plain shirt is improper for a young kage like himself. 
“It’s not as if this one will be any different.“ Gaara finally grumbles once the towering entrance to Suna is within his sight. 
“Think you won’t get any suitors brave enough to approach you?” Kankuro teases.
Gaara huffs derisively, “Hopefully not. I’m not interested anyways.”
Kankuro gives him a sidelong glance like he knows something Gaara doesn’t. “Not anyone from here you mean.” He titters obviously, “You’re just grumpy ‘cause none of your friends can make it.” Before Gaara can respond, they're stopping next to Fazluna just outside the Sand stone walls. They immediately launch into a very dull and standard recounting of the shift changes for the festival and Gaara is getting irritated now. They clearly don’t need Gaara for this and Kankuro dragged him away from a full desk of work for nothing. And to add insult, he had to remind Gaara why his mood was so sour. 
Although Gaara is grateful to have so many friends, he is actually kind of upset that no one can make it over to Suna for this particular one. It’s a big deal for most in his culture, a coming of age sort of thing. The Squall is supposed to symbolize renewal. Death and nurturing the seeds of rebirth. It’s also a time of indulgence, a brief reprieve from the dry, barren heat, where water is plentiful and one is free to celebrate excess. And at Gaara’s current age, people are allowed to publicly court him. 
He dreads that part. He doesn’t want to be running away from groupies (Kankuros phrasing) or politically motivated dignitaries. He wants to be able to celebrate with people he actually likes. Most of his closer friends have learned to play guard dog at these functions so even just one would be a comfort. Gaara understands regardless. They’re all busy in their own villages with their own obligations and missions. Even in a time of peace, he finds everyone pulled in many directions. It hadn’t really bothered him until he got his response letter from Lee, confirming he wouldn’t be able to sneak over to Suna in time. He apologized profusely even though Gaara had omitted the importance of this year specifically. He tries to tell himself he doesn’t feel a bit sad and a bit emptier, he already knew after all, expected the answer but he offered the invitation anyways. Lee is a bad influence on him sometimes. Gaara struggles with expectations, and he stumbles with Lee the most. Maybe it’s best Lee can’t make it then. Gaara can focus on the practical aspects and-
“Hey,” Kankuro slaps Gaara’s shoulder with the back of his hand, interrupting Gaara’s internal spiral, “What’s that?” 
Gaara blinks and follows the direction of Kankuro’s lazy point to the open desert before them. He squints against the melting mirages on the horizon and barely makes out a cloud of sand. For a moment Gaara stiffens in alarm because whatever this is, it’s approaching fast. He wasn’t warned of anyone coming to the village today, maybe one of his teams wrapped up early?? 
Then, in a blink, a flash of green in the kicked up sand. Gaara’s eyes go so wide they burn a bit, in disbelief even as he focuses his chakra out to sense who it was. The ninja beside him had stopped talking and Gaara turns his confused stare to his brother. He smirks back at him and snatches the kage hat off of the younger’s head. 
“Is that-?” Gaara wheezes.
“Yeah, Go get him!” Kankuro says it like Gaara is stupid but he’s smiling and nods towards the growing dust devil and Gaara doesn’t even think about it. 
His feet break into a sprint against his will. His gourd is tossed to the side in a rush. He’s not nearly as fast as the approaching ninja and sand begins pushing at his feet like it can propel him a bit faster. His skin is buzzing, he’s so sweaty and his face just gets hotter as Rock Lee comes into focus clearer and clearer. 
Lee pushes himself to slow down as he approaches the walls of Suna, but his heart is dancing around his chest in nervous excitement and by the time he processes the redhead running right towards him he can’t withhold his shout of excitement. 
“Gaara-kun!” He exclaims loud enough he’s sure it carried well into the village. However, once he really looks at Gaara, hair shining brightly in the midday, pretty blue eyes wide and locked directly on Lee, he almost stumbles. Suddenly it is difficult to pull in a full breath as Gaara leaps up, propelled by sand on his heels. His head blots out the sun for a brief second, but Lee can see it in slow motion, knows he’ll never forget this instant. Backlit by sunrays like a halo, eyes almost glowing when they curve up at the corners and one dimple obvious as he beams. Gaara lands right in Lee’s outstretched arms, squinting like he can’t contain the grin on his face. Lee thinks he has never seen anything so beautiful. 
They collide heavily, Gaara gasping like he’s had the wind knocked out of him as Lee skids them both to a stop. He uses the momentum to spin Gaara in a quick circle as he trips over his feet. Sand comes up to steady their intertwined weight and Lee thinks he must be smiling so hard it looks like a grimace.
An elated laugh bubbles up and out and into sweaty red hair that sticks to his chin and mouth. Lee squashes Gaara against him just a bit tighter, not sure if it’s too hard. Gaara is huffing into his neck, trying to catch his breath after a rather impressive sprint from him! And Lee can’t help another happy spin before finally releasing him onto the ground. 
Gaara lands gracefully as always, light as a grain of sand atop the shifting desert. And it’s all they can do but stare at each other in disbelief and Lee feels speechless. He watches Gaara slowly relax into a much calmer demeanor, like he’s caught himself, but he’s still got a dusting of pink across his cheeks. The corners of his mouth quirk up like he can’t quite contain it. It is rare to see Gaara so excited. Lee thrills at being the cause.
“I apologize for dropping by so last minute…” Lee manages to say on a nervous exhale. He had really thought Gaara might be mad at the surprise but the young Kazekage just shakes his head at the apology. He eyes Lee like he still isn’t sure if he’s really there. 
“I thought you couldn’t make it?” Gaara finally says, no pleasantries, a straight shooter like always. His tone is light, though, almost airy, and it gives him away.
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mxltifxnd0m · 5 months ago
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too tongue tied ఌ s. winchester
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summary: social media/modern era au with stanford! sam winchester
pairings: established sam winchester x reader, sam winchester x fem! reader
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warnings: none really, no use of 'y/n', fluff, slice of life, unofficial part two of must be love, can be read as a standalone, title is a lyric from must be love by laufey
a/n: lol i hope you guys enjoy this unofficial part two of my other smau with sam. a part two got requested quite a bit so i gave the people what they wanted 🤭
remember a comment or reblog helps out a lot and i hope you guys enjoyed this as much i did while making it 😁
𝘴𝘢𝘮 𝘸𝘪��𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵
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jessymoore
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liked by yourusername, dianahhboo, and 2345 others
jessymoore me and my wife (and her bf ig 😒), 📸: @ dianhhboo
tagged: yourusername and samwinchester
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bradybunch why wasn't i invited to the beach day 😞 ↳ jessymoore we did, we banged on your door but you never answered 🙂 ↳ bradybunch oh 😦
dianhhboo today was so fun!! (even if it was supposed to be a girls day) ↳ jessymoore 100% agree ↳ yourusername guys 😭 we don't own cars and sam was the only one who does and volunteered to drive us the entire time ↳ dianhhboo @ yourusername still supposed to be a girls beach day ↳ jessymoore @ yourusername yeah, plus me and you were supposed to make out not you and sam ↳ yourusername i legit can't with you two anymore 😭
samwinchester could you send those last two photos jess? ↳ jessymoore maybe, if you break up with your gf so i can have her ↳ samwinchester im not going to do that ↳ jessymoore then youre not getting the pictures ↳ samwinchester 😐😐
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yourusername
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liked by bradybunch, jessymoore, and 2005 others
yourusername surprise date night to celebrate sam passing the LSATS! (thanks for gatecrashing dean 😒)
tagged: samwinchester and deansbaby67
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deansbaby67 you're welcome 😊 besides i needed to congratulate my little brother for almost becoming mr. law boy ↳ yourusername you couldn't have done it the day after? ↳ deansbaby67 ah what's the fun in that? you love seeing my face sweetheart 😉 ↳ yourusername hate to break it to deanie but im into the taller winchester
samwinchester thanks for the surprise babe even if dean ruined it ↳ deansbaby67 hey! can a guy not celebrate his little brother's accomplishments? ↳ samwinchester not when you almost break into our apartment to do it! ↳ deansbaby67 its called a surprise visit for a reason ↳ samwinchester we're going to change the locks on the door ↳ deansbaby67 bitch ↳ samwinchester jerk
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yourusername
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liked by deansbaby67, samwinchester, and 2153 others
yourusername level up: +1 one degree, +1 boyfriend, -∞ mental stability
tagged: samwinchester
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winchestersmary congratulations honey! you looked beautiful ☺️ ↳ yourusername thank you mary!! 😊
dianhhboo we're finally done 😭 ↳ yourusername yes we are 😭😭 ↳ jessymoore @ yourusername wdym we still have nursing school ↳ yourusername @ jessymoore FUCK DON'T REMIND ME
deansbaby67 congrats ig ↳ yourusername wow dean don't get jumping out of your seat or anything ↳ deansbaby67 im kidding im proud of you ↳ yourusername gasp! is that a genuine compliment from dean?! everyone call the press! ↳ deansbaby67 why my brother is dating you, i'll have no idea ↳ yourusername its probably bc of my dashing personality and tits 😁
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yourusername
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liked by jessymoore, dianhhboo, and 2467 others
yourusername one step closer to my dreams with him <3
tagged: samwinchester
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dianhhboo OMG CONGRATS BESTIE ↳ yourusername THANKS YOU IM STILL NOT REGISTERING THAT HE ACTUALLY PROPOSED 😭 ↳ samwinchester @ yourusername well better get used to it fiance 😁
jessymoore great now i have to share you with him (im joking CONGRATS LOVE!!) ↳ yourusername kinda your fault when you introduced me to him 🤷‍♀️
deansbaby67 do i dare ask what this dream is? ↳ yourusername its being a rich lawyer's trophy wife 😍 ↳ samwinchester 🤨 ↳ yourusername @ samwinchester i meant YOUR trophy wife 😘
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samwinchester
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liked by winchestersmary, deansbaby67, and 1981 others
samwinchester can't wait to spend the rest my life with her ❤️
tagged: yourusername
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winchestersmary ahh im so happy for you two sammy! do you guys have a date set? ↳ samwinchester thanks mom <3 and not yet, don't worry, we'll text you when we figure it out
deansbaby67 FINALLY! i thought you would have chickened out on asking her ↳ samwinchester shut up dean ↳ deansbaby67 but seriously im happy for you man ↳ yourusername @ deansbaby67 thanks deanie 🥰 ↳ samwinchester @ deansbaby67 yeah thanks dude ↳ deansbaby67 ugh you guys had to turn into a chick flick moment ↳ samwinchester 🙄🙄
yourusername can't wait to be yours forever sammy 💛 ↳ samwinchester can't wait for you to be mrs. winchester ↳ yourusername that all? 🤨 ↳ samwinchester 🙄 can't wait to be yours forever either baby ↳ yourusername i love you, sassy ass and all ↳ samwinchester i love you too honey <3
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12triceratops · 8 months ago
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Where the rubber meets the road.
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These two didn't just have a relationship, they had a (soul)utionship. "The Prophecy" Hand on the throttle Thought I caught lightning in a bottle...
What these two had was magical. There is no debate that Karlie Kloss and Taylor Swift were electric: (I am using past tense for the moment, I will refer to them in present tense a bit later in the post)
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Fast forward a decade later to Fortnight. This record did not hit me immediately the way "Folklore" and "Evermore" did, It has almost been a week since its release and I hadn't been fully onboard with TTPD. I was expecting something different, something not familiar and I had quite literally thought maybe Jack Antinoff and Taylor Swift had reached their limit together as collaborators. The music produced by Aaron Dressner had flavors and connections to "Folklore" and "Evermore," while parts of the album was reminiscent of "1989." My next thought that maybe the three of them had done all they could do.
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And then the Matty Healy conversation exploded across the net (le sigh), and I just about gave up on the record.
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I damn near had a sanguinary struggle within myself over The Tortured Poets Department (I know, that is very dramatic lol), and then I finally got it. The brilliance of this woman is unmatched.
The last song "The Manuscript." Now and then she rereads the manuscript Of the entire torrid affair
"The entire torrid affair" meaning the last decade (probably longer, but I am sticking with 2014-2024). The title isn't lost on me and many others - The Man-U-Script.
The last segment of the song
The only thing that's left is the manuscript One last souvenir from my trip to your shores Now and then I reread the manuscript But the story isn't mine anymore
She is closing the chapter on all of it. It's over, the countless theories, the stories we all have created about her. They're our stories now, we built them into a formidable, monstrous entity that took on a life of its own. "The last souvenir" are her words to us on this album. From the Swifities, to the Gaylors/Kaylors, to the haters, critics, industry, fans, media. She won't play this game anymore. Taylor gave enough clues on this album to make EVERYONE'S theory plausible (Karlie, Joe, Matty, Travis, Harry, Kim etc). She connected threads to come full circle, which brings us back to "1989," that 1980s syth-pop (hello! "I Can Do It With A Broken Heart"). This is why she and Jack Antonoff brought us back to where it all began, Karlie Kloss and #Kissgate (Dianna Agron, too, who can forget "Wonderland). Aaron Dressner summons moments within this records of the two albums that fractured my soul, F & E. That folky-pop melody that gets into your skin to change the DNA. No joke, I sobbed listening to "Folklore" and "Evermore."
With TTPD, Taylor comes in like a thrashing, tumultuous storm; at times seething and others admonishing. She is singing to herself, for herself and without need of approval from the mainstream radio (or anyone else). TTPD is messy, too much, not enough, vulnerable, real, relatable and she is tired of our collective shit.
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Back to "The Manuscript" This Era has come to an end and she is leaving us with the ruins, the aftermath of what she went through: being forced to hide who she really is, having to placate the rabid fans who believe the stories of every boy she has ever dated. She has had zero privacy and the only safe place Taylor has ever had was her music, she is the ONLY one who knows to whom she sings. Does she love her fans, of course, but Mother is tired and done. She is ready to come clean and live the life she has crafted to keep in secret in order to protect the innocent.
The beards, NDAs, slight of hand, she is smashing all that we know. It's not her reflection she seeks to shatter, it's the illusions. In "Fortnight" the nurse, a woman (cannot convince me that it's not Karlie. A doorframe is 6'8" and that nurse is about 5" shorter that frame, which would make that person 6'3" :), comes to save her, gives her the key to set her free. The men in the video are the ones who are torturing her. Like the last 10 years, The poet has been tortured by the department of men: Joe, John, Conner, Jake, Harry, Calvin, Tom, Joe, Matty, Travis, Scooter, Scott, and the list goes on.
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It's "Robin" that has got a choke-hold on me.
Buried down deep And out of your reach The secret we all vowed To keep it from you in sweetness
She is singing to a child, a kid, and I am going to say a little boy. Is this song about Levi? I am going to say yes. Hands down the gem of the album, and our cue to realize she is telling us what is next, her family, the loves of her life: Karlie and the kids. That is what she wants and that will be her next chapter. We struggle to interpret the Taylor that is always ten steps ahead of us. Her Eras Tour, this will be the last one for a while. Once it has wrapped, I wouldn't be surprised if she disappeared for a spell. Will she produce more work, sure. Perform, probably, but this last decade has taken a toll, and this tour has been a herculean effort. Hence, its wild success. Could she retire (FLORIDA)? It's possible, but she would never tell us, we would have to figure that out for ourselves.
I have more to say, but it's late and I am sleepy. As I get lost in the piano of "The Manuscript" I am reminded of the book "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo"
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Not sure if anyone is going to see or read this, but I needed a place to write my thoughts about this extraordinary album that I almost let slip through my fingers. Good night and sleep well everyone <3
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burn-before-reading · 5 months ago
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Love in the Time of Socialism
joost klein x artist!reader
art, mush, and ramblings about life
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warnings: depression (ish), burnout, reader character in some vague mental health funk
word count: 2k
a/n: slight prequel to blue is the colour of your eyes but can be read as stand alone. just same artist reader. vaguely romantic but just ramblings and getting feelings out haha. started this when I was in more of a bad mental state (lol) but im fine now so it got kinda tame by the end of it. still not proofreading anything
title from the song Love in the Time of Socialism by Yellow House
Rpf below the cut—
Normally Joost has to call you because its the only way you will actually look at your phone. Its more often that not you find yourself fixated on planning out your next project, and your friends have to force you back into reality. There was that one time no one had heard from you in over a week and thought you were dead, when you were just working. You hadn’t realized how many texts you missed and apologized for scaring your friends half to death. Especially Joost.
So now you leave your ringer on, and now they call.
Tonight, however, Joost calls and you aren’t in your studio. You are in your bed, where you have been for the entire day. and also most of yesterday. There isn’t a reason in your head specifically why this has happened. you MEANT to get up. Theres a list of chores and things to do just sitting on your desk, but you woke up late, so now nothing will get done. At some point it just became too stressful to even get up and look at it. You roll over and stare at the contact picture of him, smiling with some dumb fish eye lens he thought was funny. You debate not picking up at all.
But you can’t ignore him.
“Hi Joost.” your voice came through the phone more hoarse than intended when you answered, you don’t remember the last time you talked to someone. “Whats going on?”
“the others wanted to go out for drinks tonight, you hadn’t responded so I wanted to check you were joining us.” You could imagine him rocking back and forth on his heels in the middle of his living room while he talked, it was either that or pacing around.
“uhh..” Drinks at a bar was the last thing on your mind. In any other situation you would have loved to be around your friends, but right now you just needed to avoided as much as possible. “Not a good night, tonight. Sorry, I’ll have to join you guys next time.”
Joost felt like something was off, you sounded tired. “Is everything okay?”
“I’ll be fine I just… shit brain day. bad brain thats all. It happens.” You did your best to summarize how you felt without actually admitting anything, you weren’t sure how to explain anything anyway.
“ Oh Im sorry, would it be good, if I came over? I can keep you company, if thats okay?”
“you don’t have to, I’ll be fine tomorrow. I want you to have fun. ” you insisted, but he pressed on.
“I don’t mind, the group would understand. Have you eaten today?”
“Like… a meal? yes, or well, no. I had a soda..” You glance at the half drunk soda from the night before, now flat. “and uhhh..”
“I’ll pick something up.” You could hear him on the other end gathering things together, keys, wallet, probably his ipad.
“.. thank you. I’ll see you in a bit, I guess.”
-
Joost knocked on your door about an hour later. In that time you were able to get out of bed and make your way to the bathroom to change and make yourself somewhat presentable in front of a guest, and to the kitchen to make coffee despite it being 8pm.
You opened it to see Joost with a sheepish smile as he extends his arms out for a hug. “Hi.”
“Hi Joost.” you take the step to hug him, feeling his body heat contrast with the cold nighttime. “I’m glad you’re here.” the two of you head inside to your living room where he empties his bag of take out to reveal a couple different thai dishes and egg rolls. It was hard to not admit you weren’t at least a little bit hungry.
The two of you ate in mostly silence, making small talk about different projects you two have going on, or the fact that the two of you were in between projects. He done with touring for the time being and in the process of working on a new album. You loosely avoiding talking about any current work plans but mentioned one or two paintings you finished for a private gallery commission last month.
“ Just some paintings of animals and nature-ish symbolism. Honestly my heart wasn’t really in that one, but it payed the rent so.” you shrug and shove noodles into your mouth.
“Well now you have the time to work on your own stuff, right?” he commented, leaning back into your couch and looking down at you sitting on the floor instead of any of your own furniture. “Draw whatever your heart desires.”
“I mean I guess.. Im just glad to be done with the oil paints for now. I swear i think I was gonna die in my studio from all the chemicals. I dunno, I finished that whole project last month, I haven’t really been very productive since then.” you trail off and Joost gets a concerned expression on his face.
He sinks down from his spot of the couch to join you in the floor. The fluffy rug brushing against his legs as he adjusts his new sitting position.
“Its okay to take a break, you know.”
“I know I know, I just get frustrated. I never seem to have my energy directed towards the right thing. Whenever I have all those big projects from other contractors, I can brainstorm and think of all these interesting ideas I wanna work on, but I can’t because then I would get behind on the art Im being paid to do.”
“mhm.” he nods, to indicate he’s following along.
“ And then whenever Im done with those projects, I just get… tired. and my focus is gone. and Everything just feels…” you gesture the last bit with your hands, scrambling your fingers, to imply your thoughts. You aren’t looking at him, but you can still see him nodding in your peripherals. Joost always seemed to understand your thinking and explanations to things, even if you thought they were messy.
“Do you want to try painting right now?” he asks. you just shrug your shoulders.
“I don’t know what I would paint.”
“You can paint our dinner, or, or yourself, or your plants maybe?” he suggested and stands up. “Can I paint too?”
“Oh we’re actually doing this?” Not that you didn’t want to, but this self doubt had creeped into your mind again. That failing to produce something decent would prove that you’ve lost all your talent, your skill.
“yea we can have a little painting party!” he chimed, but he hesitated walking over to your studio to grab stuff, still giving you the space to reject his idea.
you looked away and started nervously tapping your fork against the table.
tap tap tap tap
“…sure. We can use my watercolors, Ive been wanting to use them more often anyway.”
the coffee table became a little more cluttered as you set up the paints for the two of you. Joost using an old set 24 pans and you using a newer set of watercolor tubes you were gifted last year and never opened. You watched as Joost immediately dipped his brush in water and started activating the blue paints, spreading it onto his paper in big random strokes.
“what are you painting?”
“not sure yet, maybe im painting you.” he looks up and smirks. you scrunch your nose up.
“why are you using so much blue. am I a smurf?” you joke and he just shrugs and points to your own paper.
“Just mess around, can’t be any worse than what im doing.”
tap tap tap tap tap tap
you fidget with your own brush for a few seconds lo get before grabbing a big mop brush and wetting your paper with clean water. Taking your smaller brush again, you pour out a small amount of yellow and mix it up with some more water. You hesitate for a moment longer before letting the brush lightly touch the surface, creating a burst of colour on the paper as the colour seeps onto the page. You make a few more random marks before switching to another warm colour and repeating the process, now watching the colours bleeds and mix into each other. You look at Joost paper and see that he is actually now trying to paint you, the blue fortunately was able to be mostly contained to the background.
“Do you ever think about what you would do if you weren’t a musician?” you ask.
“I dunno I think after this I could have a pretty successful art career.” he teases but sees in your face the question is more serious. “I don’t know. I started off with youtube, but if I wasn’t doing that… its hard to think about what my life would be like if I didn’t follow this path.”
“I always have this feeling deep down, that I made a wrong choice somewhere along the line. I was thinking about going to school for psychology, I also wanted to work with animals at one point, be a vet. I enjoy art, don’t get me wrong, but I just worry that in making it my job Ive just drained all the passion I had for it.”
You let the paper dry before staining the page with lines of dark burgundy, creating hands and a human heart. he hums as he listens, not adding anything, but simply letting you vent. beginning to piece together your mood from earlier. “I don’t have any jobs lined up right now, which is what Ive been waiting for, to work on my own stuff, yknow? I haven’t had the time ive wanted to make something for myself for a while. But now I just feel, I feel like ive been frozen.”
“things seem to be okay right now. I like what youve made. ” you look down and see the scribbles youve made with your paint. hands clasped over a broken heart. you shrug and smile softly, signing the bottom.
“Just a scribble, you can have it if you want.” You hand the paper over to him. “thank you for coming by, its… its nice being around you. Helps a bit.”
Joost takes the paper and studies it for a second. “I really like it, maybe I should come by more often.”
“If you bring the food we can have art nights whenever you want.” he holds up his paper. The blue bleeding into your skintone and hair since he didn’t wait for anything to properly dry. “I might stick to my ipad though, I don’t know why you like this paint.” he scrunches his nose at it. you laugh and it makes him smile.
You notice for the first time how bright his eyes look when he smiles, but you brush the thought away.
-
“Feeling a bit better?” he asks as he lingers by the door on his way out.
“a bit. like I said It was just a mood, I was gonna be fine tomorrow most likely… I still appreciate you coming over.”
“Don’t ever be afraid to call or text okay? Im always here to talk if you need. or just to listen.”
“definitely. Ive been meaning to uh, talk to someone about all this stuff anyway, you’re not a professional but ill keep it in mind.”
he grins and goes in for one last hug. you feel him slightly squeeze you and linger a little longer than usual before letting go. With one last glance he waves and head off. You see him pull out a cigarette for the walk back. It takes you a second to close the door. standing there watching him walk off until he turns a corner and disappears. Closing the door you sigh and go the clean up your living room.
You notice he left the portrait he drew of you. signed at the bottom with a smiley face next to his name.
It gets hung up in your studio above your desk.
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l-in-the-light · 1 month ago
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The importance of a haircut
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I was pondering whether I should mention it, but seems no one is catching on to that so far, so I might as well stir the pot a bit.
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Many women today maintain long hair when they're single, and then cut it shorter when they have kids, due to its impracticality. So in a way, that cutting of hair is a ceremony that mirrors that of an Edo period Samurai: an end to an era of someone's life, and the beginning of another.
(...)
A friend or co-worker might remark, "wow, are you quitting your job or something?" joking that they were making a grand gesture by getting a haircut.
(source: Anime News Network)
The first time I came upon deep analysis of this trope was in Princess Mononoke. Ashitaka cuts off his bun before leaving village, which signifies he might never come back, he is from now on "dead" to them, because topknots and buns were associated with status back in the days. By cutting it he was not only giving up on his current social position, but also cutting ties with the community he belonged to.
Sumo wrestlers will cut off their topknots when they quit their career. If a samurai cut off their topnot it meant they're giving up on their title and becoming a commoner like everyone else. Sometimes it's done because of shame (pressured by others or because of your own conscience, if you're a honorable samurai). For aristocratic women hair was also a symbol of status and pride, and also object of adoration. Might be why even nowadays in fiction when a girl goes through a break-up or gets rejected by her crush, she cuts off her hair to make a "fresh start" (that apparently isn't uncommon not only in Japan). Last time I saw it was probably in XXXholic (I reccommend it to anyone who never read this manga, especially if you like supernatural themes mixed with slice of life :D).
Funny thing is, I also picked up on that trope subconsciously as a child, because I grew up watching animes. I remember my classmates often asking me why am I keeping my hair long (like, what's so strange in liking your hair long? I guess it became trendy back then to have shorter hair). And I always felt like I need a big reason to cut my hair, like I should do it only after a big life event happening, and I even decided when exactly I will do it. Except that I didn't find any meaning in it and decided I won't do it anyway. Lol.
It's interesting that apparently there was once a law in Japan that forced women to keep their hair long! If they need to cut their hair, they had to report it to the officials on paper, stating a good enough reason (for example, a health issue or a religious ritual). And if they fail to report or deliver good enough reason, they have to face some kind of punishment. You can read more about that here: Women in Japan who got haircuts once had to tell government why.
Importance in Japanese culture aside, for more fun examples of this trope used in fiction you should certainly visit the tv tropes page on it: tv tropes/important haircut.
Now back to Robin. She didn't exactly cut her hair short or anything like that, but she did return to her old hairstyle. That might signify she wanted to underline some kind of change in her life. She got a different hair style in the timeskip. Coincidentally, Nami also allowed herself to keep her hair long and be more feminine, because she felt safe doing so, not anymore having to survive on her own, or so I assume. I think it could have been similar for Robin, it was her sign of "now I'm part of this crew wholeheartedly", because before timeskip she kept the previous haircut instead and she was also always alone. So, it was a way of showing the change in her life, but she chose to do it only after learning news about Luffy losing his brother. Perhaps it might have been her way of showing her solidarity, besides the faith and trust in her crew.
Robin returning back to her previous haircut might be a way to celebrate meeting Saul, like she wants him to feel familiar with her looks, like nothing ever changed (just like the Giants suggested in the chapter). Except that we know that a lot has changed since then, she finally found her comrades, her nakama. That's part of the reason why I think it might not be about Saul at all. There was a lot happening with the Vegapunk's broadcast and will of Ohara in Egghead.
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And she did look very affected when she listened to the bits of that broadcast. So, whatever her reason is, I'm sure of one thing: that haircut signifies some sort of decision or change in Robin, a new determination or something coming full circle. Towards what? Revealing the truth and carrying the baton passed by Vegapunk? But wasn't Robin already carrying that on her back already, the call to reveal the truth about the history? She didn't need Vegapunk for that.
It could mean Robin has made some important decision that is the opposite of the timeskip one and it relates to events from before that as well. There are some loose ends left from Water 7 arc. There were some never addressed again lies or games of deception. Maybe it's finally time we learn more about Robin, her mission and what she did exactly before she joined the Strawhats.
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mamasbakeria · 1 year ago
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hey, what's your major again?
summary: my credible expert opinion on what the aot characters would study in university. what are my qualifications? the dozens of hours i’ve spent staring at my school’s program bulletin trying to figure out what i’m majoring in
genre | includes: headcanons, sfw, minor language, uninformed percy jackson reference (pls don't hate me if im wrong)
characters: eren jaeger, mikasa ackerman, armin arlert, sasha braus, jean kirschtein, connie springer, historia reiss, ymir, reiner braun, annie leonhardt
author’s note: had this in my drafts for months now. i just need to post it so it stops haunting me. might do the rest of the marleyans and vets in the future! lmk your thoughts, my only tumblr notifications are from p*rn bots, so i'd love to hear from real people lol. enjoy <3
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eren: sociology and public policy, 4+1 program for a social work masters
there’s only so many times you can hear “you’re gonna be a doctor just like your dad” before you start to believe it. that’s why eren started out with biology on the premed track. the thing is, he really didn’t care for it. eren is really passionate about lessening equity gaps and is a firm believer in “if you want something done right, do it yourself”. this is why i see him making the switch to a double major in public policy and sociology. he wants to know about how society got to the point of perpetuating disparities so that he can fix them. but he also knows that the government fucking sucks and thinks its naive to expect policy change to be the only method of change. and like the maniac he is, eren is enrolled in a 4+1 program so he can get his master’s in social work when he’s done with his undergrad. he’s determined to graduate with both degrees in just 4 years though. rip his summers.
armin: international relations and military ethics, minor in communications or smth
everyone always says armin would study marine biology or oceanographic studies, but i honestly think that it’s a passion that he pursues on the side. he takes marine bio courses for his breadth requirements, but knows he’d end up hating the ocean if he spent the rest of his life studying it. he also strikes me as someone who would rather run buck naked into traffic than sit through multiple semesters of organic chemistry. armin was always a good public speaker, though, despite being a bit insecure. that’s why his speech and debate teacher during sophomore year of high school recommended model united nations to him. he was hooked after his first conference and now genuinely sees the path of international diplomacy as his calling. that’s why he’s majoring in international relations. his concentration in military ethics is something he tacks on in his junior year after taking some courses and publishing research with dr. erwin smith. he probably minors in communications because he can.
mikasa: forensic science
mikasa had no idea what she wanted to do when she started uni. she’s good at nearly everything. like never gotten a B in her life and is the student who the curve is based off of. but excelling in every environment you’re put in often means you don’t know what you’re best at. she knew deep down that she wanted to do something justice related like her childhood best friends did, but she’s no public speaker and has no interest in political reform. she was, however, emo in high school and heard a fair share of undertaker jokes at her expense. it wouldn’t hurt to look into right? as cool as the title sounds, morticians don’t make enough money for the job they have. fortunately enough, forensic pathologists do and mikasa looks good in a lab coat. she would never admit it to spare armin and eren’s feelings, but when they, as children, recreated the crime-solving shows mrs. jaeger always had on, mikasa always wanted to be the brains. so criminology and forensic science it is. (side note: she definitely joins the military and they pay for her education)
jean: structural engineering and industrial design with a minor in studio art
more than anything, jean wants to provide for his mom and knows he can’t guarantee a retirement of luxury for her as the freelance artist he wishes he could be. he’s decent at math when he tries and doesn’t hate physics, so he decided he’d give structural engineering a try for at least a semester or two. he wasn’t expecting to get much from it, to be honest. he had a plethora of backup plans waiting for his supposedly inevitable distaste for engineering, but he found that he didn’t hate it at all. someone once told jean that he had the makings of a great leader and he didn’t believe them until he started taking the lead on design projects and producing incredible results. his only qualm is that he just doesn’t get to be as creative as he wanted to be. that was easily rectified by an additional major in industrial design and a minor in studio art. he’s unbelievably busy, busier than he anticipated when he started his post-secondary journey, but he’s content and there’s nothing some extra coffee can’t solve. 
sasha: environmental science and sustainability
sasha spent her childhood ankle-deep in mud and fighting her way through forest thickets without a compass. an upbringing like that doesn’t leave your spirit, no matter how far into the city you go for school. so sasha’s always been passively passionate about the environment. that passiveness became significantly more prominent when part of the woods she grew up in was cleared out to build an industrial complex. it was then that she started researching and writing petitions about preserving wildlife and making environmentally conscious decisions. her work actually got her the scholarship she’s on (because god knows it wasn’t her grades). and she genuinely loves what she does, so why wouldn’t she keep learning about it? the environmental science and sustainability program at the school is small, but tight-knit and known for churning out changemakers. sasha knows she’ll be one of them one day. just hide your plastic straws from her, okay?
connie: computer science and chinese
stick with me here okay? everyone expects connie to be a douchebag marketing major whose hardest assignments are graphing functions and making posters on photoshop, but he’s a lot more invested in his education than he looks. don’t get me wrong, connie has always struggled academically, but that’s because so much of early education is pre-determined. he performed way better when he could choose what courses he took. it’s kind of like percy jackson being dyslexic in english because he was wired to read in greek. connie can’t keep his eyes on a history textbook for shit, but will gladly sit in front of the c++ code on his pc for hours. he doesn’t even get mad when he realizes that he was missing a semicolon. connie loves how versatile of a future he could have with a compsci degree, because, let’s be real, he could never survive in a typical office environment. definitely takes a bunch of chinese classes and doesn’t realize that he has enough credits for it to be a minor until his second to last semester.
historia: political science with a minor in international relations and child development
historia is a lot like eren in the sense that she knows her time is best spent doing hands-on work in the fields she cares about. she realizes this sometime after reconnecting with her estranged father and volunteering at the orphanage she grew up in. but now that she’s publicly associated with a powerful political figure, historia doesn’t get to do what she wants, only what is expected of her. that’s how she ends up on the pre-law political science and public policy route. the nickname “ms. president” that connie and sasha give her only further reminds her that she’s heading down a path she never wanted for herself. after lots of encouragement from ymir, historia decided to take child development courses on the side. even if she doesn’t take on the full minor, she’s taking some classes she cares about. maybe she’ll find use for it someday. at the very least, it’s her first step in becoming the most selfish girl in the world.
ymir: data science and business management
ymir is smart. much smarter than she presents herself to be, almost as a form of protection. nobody expects much of someone who is aloof, so it makes it easy to slip through the cracks to remain safe and comfortable in the shadows. business management is notoriously low commitment and easy to skate by with. guaranteed internships, post-graduate employment, and so on. To anyone who doesn’t know ymir well, it’s perfect. but they have her mistaken, ymir will do as little as possible to go as far as possible. sure, she can live comfortably with a business degree, but it could be better with a little bit of data science in her arsenal. she’s intelligent enough to pick up on it, and determined enough to make it her bitch. yeah, academia is a money-sucking pipeline into the capitalist hellscape, she doesn’t believe in it yada yada, but at the end of the day, ymir’s gonna get the bag. so what if she’s gotta sleep through some stats classes to get it?
reiner: behavioral economics
reiner’s mother had convinced him his whole life that getting a high paying job would fix their lives and bring his father back. believing “perfect grades lead to a perfect life” made high school tough for reiner; gifted kid burnout is no joke. it really messed him up. he wasn’t sure if he could withstand the pressures of university, but here he is. reiner was never allowed a therapist, so he figured pursuing psychology would, at the very least, give him some answers and be a good pathway to a medical degree. he loved getting to understand how people work and why they act the way they do, but something was missing. he found out what it was when a guest lecturer spoke in his economics class. he knew making the switch would be risky, it’s a new field and his current career options are really only research, academia, or government, but the interdisciplinary study of behavioral economics is calling reiner’s name. 
annie: biomedical engineering and kinesiology
annie’s entire life revolved around her father, including the injury he was never able to heal from. the one she gave him. he’s claimed to be over it, she’s forgiven, but annie will never feel like she’s earned that forgiveness until she gets rid of the problem entirely. how is she going to do that exactly? with biomedical engineering. she has years of hell in front of her, especially with her concentration on biomechanics, but she doesn’t care. annie will throw herself into her work to get the results she wants. she takes the highest amount of credits possible every semester so she can graduate early. you’ll most likely find her chained to a study cubicle at the library at all hours of the day and running on 2 hours of sleep, but it doesn’t faze her. she tacks on a minor in kinesiology because it makes sense and she had most of the credits for it anyway. and as if it couldn’t get worse, she probably TAs for a thermodynamics course or something crazy like that.
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© mamasbakeria 2023. do not repost, translate (without permission), or modify
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On thin ice (Hockey player! Miguel O’Hara x Figure skater! Fem! Reader)
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A/N: Not me already have written this part the day after I posted the first one 🤭. I wanna add titles to the chapters but idk what I’d have them be, probably lyrics from songs I like lol. Once again, apologies now for If Miguel is ooc and if the terminology and sports talk is wrong. If you’re experienced in either sport and wanted to lmk if I got something wrong. If you want to be added to the taglist lmk too.
(Y/N)- Your name, (L/N)- Last name.
No warnings, Just Miguel and you interacting lol. Idk if this is consider filler but it’s meant to get the ball rolling lol.
Word count: 1.3k
Series Masterlist
Chapter 2: Do you ever get that fear that you can’t shift the tide,
It’s been about a week since you’ve last ran into Miguel at the arena, surprisingly the figure skating team don’t run into the hockey team as much as you would think despite having to share a communal space on campus. Unfortunately, today was one of those days were you did run into them. You’ve arrived about 45 minutes early to practice, Logan nor coach Kavinsky were here yet. You were hoping to get some alone time on the ice before practice, but it had slipped your mind that today was Thursday, and on Thursdays the hockey team practiced before you rather then after like the rest of the week. As you dropped your gym back on the bench in the girl’s locker room, you were debating to whether you wanted to just wait at the arena till they were done, or walk back to your dorm. The only problem with the latter option is that the dorm buildings were all the way across campus, and by the time you finished the walk you’d have to turn around to walk back anyways.
So you stuck it up, and changed into your practice outfit, your skates in hand as you leave the locker room, deciding to keep your regular shoes on so you could at least get your stretching out of the way before your coach and partner came. You quickly went into one of the empty dance rooms that the arena had to do warm up stretches in, popping in your headphones to listen to your favorite song. After about 15 minutes you still had plenty of time before The Spiders got off the ice, you decided to just walk around the stadium. No destination in mind, just where ever your feet decided to carry you as your music continue to play in your ears. You can’t really say you were surprised to find yourself ending up in the main area with the ice rink, plopping yourself down in one of the front row seats as you let your brain go on autopilot.
You were too busy being lost in the music, you didn’t realize you were staring into space until you say a large tan hand appear in front of your face and began to snap its fingers, pulling you back into the moment.
“hellooo? Earth to ice princess.”
“Huh?” You shot up to sit straighter, blinking a bit as you take out your headphones, turning your head to look at the person who had just snapped you back into reality. “Look I know I’m attractive and all, but you don’t have to stare-“ Miguel begins, a cocky smirk on his face that you just wanted to smack off. One of his large hands going up to take off this helmet, his dark brown hair that was usually slicked back was now messy from the helmet, a thin coat of sweat covering his forehead. You cut him off, “ew, why would I be staring at you?” You question, your face slightly scrunched in distaste at the thought.
“You’ve been looking in my direction at the past 20 minutes.” He smirks as his teammates start to put away all their hockey equipment behind him, not paying attention to you both talk. You gave him a confused look before you realize why he might have been thinking that, “Oooooh-no-no I was just zoning out, I wasn’t staring at you on purpose.” You quickly explain, awkwardly scratching the back of your neck with your gloved hand, attempting to keep eye contact with the hockey player.
For a second, it looked like Miguel’s cocky exterior faltered, before coming back up. “Uh huh…sure.” He tone dripping with sarcasm as he drops his helmet onto a seat, then taking a seat next to you. His action caught you by surprise but you didn’t let it show, you also didn’t want to show the annoyance that filled your body from the taunting comment. “Why are you even here this early? Where is your little boyfriend?” He asked as turns his body towards you, resting the hand closest to you on his knee, his forearm that was further from you going to rest on his other knee. He was manspreading a bit, his eyes raking over your form slowly.
“Jesus why is it so warm in here all of a sudden? Usually I’m freezing my nonexistent balls off…” You thought as you shifted in your seat a bit, feeling the need to distract yourself, you start to change into your skates. “I wanted to get some time on the ice alone before practice but I forgot it was Thursday and- wait. Boyfriend?”
Miguel chuckled at your surprised reaction, turning his head away slightly, the hand that was resting on his knee came up to cover the smile that was creeping up on his face from your reaction. After a second or two he cleared his throat, his hand dropping back down to his knee as he turns to face you again with a neutral expression. “Yeah, your boyfriend, the one you skate with. What’s his name again? Lincoln? Liam?” Miguel knew his name, he just wanted to see if you’d correct him.
“Logan?”
Miguel tried his best not to scowl.
“Yeah, Logan-whatever-where’s he at?” He asked, he’s words come out annoyed and a bit rushed. “Well for one, he’s not my boyfriend, just my figure skating partner.” You start as you tilted your head to the side as you look at him, saying it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Now Miguel is trying his hardest not to let a huge shit eating grin spread across his lips. “And second, he’s probably on his way, he had a class today before practice-some science thing- I don’t know.” You shrugged your shoulders as you finish speaking.
Speaking of the devil, Logan and Coach Kavinsky appear through the front double door. “Ah! (Y/N), already here. Perfect! Let’s get straight into it.” She said with a smile as she seemingly ignore Miguel’s presence next to you, Logan stops next to you as you both took the guards off your skates, him shooting you a knowing look, his lips twitching up into small smirk as his eyes drift between you and Miguel. “I swear to God…if he brings this up later…” You start to think but a voice cut you off.
“Hey Cap!” One of the hockey players called out for Miguel’s attention, “We just finished packing up, you coming?” He asked as he skate to the edge of the rink, before getting out, a few of the other lingering players that were making sure all the equipment was all packed up doing the same. As soon as the other player was done speak to Miguel, he took off his helmet revealing (messy from the helmet and some sweat) light brown hair and brown eyes, his lower half of his face covered with a 5 o’ clock shadow and you noticed his nose was slightly croaked, probably him having broken it from a past game.
Miguel let out a heavy sigh, before turning towards the other player. “Yeah Parker, I’m going.” He grumbled as he brought his hand up to rub his face before giving you one more quick glance and getting up, leaving with the rest of who was left from his team, without another word. For some reason, that bothered you, causing your brows furrowed as your lips fall into a small frown.
“Rude…” you mumbled as you got up from your seat, Logan heard this and let out a small snort as he steps on to the ice. “Don’t overthink it (L/N), that’s just how he is.” Your partner tried to reassure you, you send him a small smile back and a quick nod of your head.
“Yeah, you’re right. I shouldn’t overthink it.” You repeat his words, as you went to enter the rink as well, but it was a bit too late for that, because you already were overthink it.
Taglist: @tayleighuh
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barblaz-arts · 5 months ago
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Real real real random ask.. Buuutttt- what's your favorite song? Mine's either this or this, and not even because I'm into the dsmp, I just like cg5 lol. So yeah! Just was curious ig, also thought I should mention that you actually got me (back) into (obsessed with) the Crane Wives! I used to listen to them a little while back and got back into them again when I watched the Chaggie animatic with Curses for the song. That's all, have a good day!
Oh that is a very dangerous question. I LOVE talking about/recommending songs I like. I cant just choose one tho, especially when there are artists who have so many songs I love and there are many genres I adore, so sorry for the long ish list
With The Crane Wives my favorite changes from time to time. I remember when I was ill and basically bedridden for two months, I'd spend hours just listening to all of their songs. Rn my favorite is I Aint Done. Apparently it's supposed to be based on some urban legend? I like to think of it as some tragic sapphic story
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Marianas Trench is another one of my favorite bands. If you were a teen like me who loved watching AMV's in the 2000's to 2010's, their songs are often used for ships lol. (i get the feeling you might be a bit on the young side tho, so sorry for talking about some oldies here) Hard to pick a favorite too, but maybe this one since it's the first one of theirs I heard
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I havent ventured too deeply in rap heavy songs, but this is one I like a LOT. The pre-chorus and chorus are such killers too and a lot of fun to sing lol
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Jordan Fisher is such an underrated gem. Their songs take me back to the classic RnB from the 2000's. And watching them perform is kinda captivating.
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People who have followed me for a while now know that I also love kpop/Loona, so lemme plug in my girls real quick. This is my favorite from one of their subgroups
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Kiss of Life is a newer group I've been getting into lately, and they're real dang talented. They kinda remind me of Little Mix, which I also really liked
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If you're into anime, you've probably heard of yoasobi because they've had songs that feature in anime. It's really really hard to pick a favorite with them but the one they wrote for Beastars is the one I'm currently obsessed with
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There are also a lot of good songs in my country I could talk days about, especially this one by Ben & Ben. The mv stars their bassist and keyboardist who are dating irl, which makes it even cuter
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And then there are so many broadway songs i like.... oh my god so hard to choose........
Beetlejuice is my favorite musical, so I gotta choose one from it. The lyrics for the songs in this musical are so good, but especially with Dead Mom. The bridge where Lydia turns all soft because of how much she loved her mom gets me everytime. (fun fact for those who dont know, the voice actors for Pentious/Adam and Rosie were the OG actors for the title character and the step mom)
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Lastly, I havent actually watched the Waitress yet(I'm talkin about bootlegs ofc) but the soundtrack's really good. The voice actor for Niffty was also there, so you might wanna check it out just to hear her sing, she's phenomenal. This song is undoubtedly the best of the bunch, and there's actually a version song by Lucifer's VA that is absolutely heart-breaking, but I'm putting the original version in the post for the intended message of the song because its important. Also this animatic is kinda insane. Jeremy Jordan's version of this song really is worth checking out too for sure
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mecachrome · 9 months ago
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very selfishly would love more of ur thoughts on oscar accommodating and mirroring lando.... as an insane landoheadTM ive been watching lando slowly match oscar's energy in the past year and its been driving me insane and ur SO right that oscars done the same thing!! kind of crazy kind of losing my mind would love to get more thoughts out of u
!!!!!!!!! hi kira i would LOVE 2 talk about this. also this answer may or may not be 2k words long
god there are so many Angles and Frameworks and Contexts through which it is possible to examine 814's dynamic that i constantly feel unhinged about it. and probably sound unhinged as well…… pls note that all of this is pure insanity from my insaneperson brain ⚠️ ;__; ok where to begin.
to me the thing about 814 mirroring each other is that in reality it's actually a metaphor for many different things ❗️ on one hand you can interpret it Literally as in a strictly physical sense—the idea of mirroring someone as running parallel and positioning yourself firmly opposite each other, as constructing intricate rituals in order to NOT touch the skin of other men, being so specifically magnetically repulsed that any contact is accidental and fleeting and causes you to spring away as quickly as you'd met. but then there is also the other sense of mirroring that is….. more amorphous and conceptual, e.g. how oscar has in many ways indirectly orbited lando his entire career and how although they've only been teammates for a year now lando has technically been a primary reference point of his throughout a majority of his teens. AND what i think is so interesting about that too is that if you look back at oscar's Evolution As A Person, you could argue that he's been purely Himself As He Is Now for a very long time... yes there've been minute fluctuations in maturity and just general cringeness and muscle growth and cheek fat etc. etc. but at least outwardly in how he communicates with other people and displays his mentality / innate habits / mannerisms he's basically been his fully realized adult self since he was like 17??? which obviously cannot be said of lando norris who has grown massively in appearance and perspective and assuredness and so on from the ages of 17 to 21 to 24. yet this constantly evolving & changing your_choice_of_lorde_album Growing Pains lando has always been a sort of distant static fixed point in the future of oscar's mind… hmmm. that's just part of it tho
basically 814 as they are now are sooo fascinating to me because again They Do Not (Consciously) Touch but they've still very gradually managed to build off the foundations of oscar's subconscious teenage mirroring by turning it into something… well perhaps not quite fully intentional (and isn't that almost better in the end!!!) but certainly more self-aware and generally conscious. basically: the Negative Space of landoscar's demonstrated "affection" is where their reciprocity lies! if that makes sense.
and i guess what i'm trying to get at is that… on surface level, it's easy to say that 1) Oscar has always only ever been himself (generally true) and that 2) As the guy who came into f1 at 19 and was continuously expected to meet his more extroverted teammates' energies lando is the one who's habituated to experiencing marked change (also fairly true), but this still obfuscates equally important facets of their personalities: i.e. that oscar may be the more ~intellectually~ inclined of the two (which also who Cares. completely totally off-topic LOL but personal pet peeve of mine is people acting like there is a discernible difference between a-level maths and whatever private tutoring lando did after dropping out when their job title is lichrally F1 Driver…?! both are negligible fractions of fractions of whatever postgrad coursework the team's Actual engineers have done!!! but anyway), my personal argument is that really oscar is so consistently himself BY having zero concept of himself. whereas lando….. actually does possess a very strong inner character and intense, at times destabilizing self-awareness but also boasts a higher eq that enables a very high capability for social camouflage.
……????????? this is like a 10-paragraph intro. What am i getting at.
so basically. Yes. mutual accommodation……. i think my main point is that despite lando's strong baseline character and idiosyncrasies and particularities and fussiness and general weirdness, He Can, when necessitated, (as long as it doesn't completely contradict his moral impulse etc. etc.) soften that edge and adapt to another person's expectations—Even if just to maintain bearable social rapport & conversation. whereas on the other hand oscar can sometimes actually be a lot more malleable because he doesn't really hold strong conviction in much outside the few non-negotiables in his life ??? (read: racing...) like yes he's still competitive in challenges and is pedantic as shit but also he kind of just Doesn't care……. so basically he's the perfect fit for lando. because he DOESN'T expect anything from lando and lando DOESN'T need to camouflage himself for oscar and because oscar interprets things straight-forwardly and at face value and reads lando's intentions in good faith and honestly probably like 30% of lando's overthinking is a result of people constantly assuming the worst of him so i think on some level it's like 👉 👈 when you're both a little weird and also weird in these little different ways but in the end those minute shifts are what make you compatible and fit you back together again ?!?!?!? as i said it's the negative space of it all.
so really landoscar are not totally "opposites attract" but they're also not identical "mctwins" or whatever because Nuance and Secret Third Thing and what's truly critical about their mirroring is basically that 1) they don't EXPECT the other person to do it 2) they don't INTENTIONALLY do it and 3) it only happens because they're intensely aware of the other person's personality and mannerisms and appearances... bref IT'S ABOUT THE CATALOGUING!! like lando saw oscar in 2023 for the first time and immediately went oh you've gotten taller? oh you have big arms now? and they can't help pointing out each other's hair and ALSO >portrait painting (gets ko'd) "do you like purple?" "...uhhhh i can do now" like WHO SAYS THAT? ANDDDDD this was after oscar had picked purple to begin with but lando was like Nooo you can't do that :/ so oscar changed even though he'd argued that he'd "already committed to it" literal moments prior. Many such cases (i'm not finding a chair anyone?). they make me feel insane.
right let me just finish up with a few more moments (if you're still reading i'm sorry) but Vocabgifset is kind of a rough overview of how, at the very beginning, i think oscar did come in with a very undefined approach to How To Be A Teammate ? and was ready to treat lando as he'd treated rob and logan and fred and whomever and maybe even reflecting the atmosphere as reserve at alpine a little bit idk—essentially more visibly abrasive and pedantic and generally annoying. Also (ahem) perhaps how he'd seen lando act around carlos and daniel before... Guy who has carlando tweets in his twitter likes. 😔
but of course lando REALLYYY doesn't like being unnecessarily corrected over ultimately inconsequential things and again his demeanor is far from bombastic when it hasn't been demanded of him, so i think oscar quickly recognized that in his character and learned to just play along with what lando liked and wanted—not because he was preoccupied with lando getting annoyed at him or thought that lando was sensitive or whatever and not because he himself is a pushover because of course there is a healthy & endearing amount of push/pull to their dynamic but just because he sincerely respects lando and with that respect understood that he didn't need to "force" their dynamic when it would prosper by just being himself and more importantly letting lando be himself……….. Or something.
which imo is basically the basis of their current communication style: a lot of wordless meaningful looks & expressions (because they're both entirely honest people in different ways) (SEE: VIRGIN RADIO UK) (the thing Is that lando has no verbal filter but oscar is the one with 0 control of his expressions and deeply revealing permablush), oscar always folding to whatever lando says in an interview, jumping into frame and following along lando's message in the british f4 anniversary video, listening to lando's music through the walls of their driver rooms, and of course any instance of their Soft Talking Voices such as → "yeahhh you're up there" "aww (genuinely a little pleased and flustered)" and CAT 5 behind the scenes smoothie convo and oscar patiently waiting for lando to finish speaking and not wanting to enforce his presence but always being there and ready to help him….. like the worst part 2 me of the "well-represented" video is that andrea turns to lando first and tries to help him but lando is Still processing and Not listening so THEN he looks at oscar to be like um i don't know the word and that's when andrea looks back at oscar expectantly 🥲😭😩!!!!!!!! what if i dyed. honestly. the category is truly just oscar being susceptible to Lando Norris…………… i could go on.
also >RANDOM MOMENT TOTALLY NOT IMPORTANT but the yes/no challenge is so devastating on every conceivable level and yet One thing that i do not think is discussed enough! is the way oscar physically leans into lando's space on the table every time it's his turn to answer the questions and Specifically how in round 1 the media people were trying to get his attention to tell him to put the mic pack into his pocket but he was soooooooooo focused and fixated on lando's face right up until lando turned to speak to the camera that he didn't notice for like 3 minutes. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. argh. the problem with oscar is that he's SINCERE. truly. "are you ready oscar piastri?" [zero hesitation whatsoever] "i am ready lando norris 🥰"
of course it's not like oscar doesn't introspect whatsoever because obviously he is very capable of self-assessing when something is important by an objective measure of success (aka recognizing deficits over a lap), but relative to lando's specific brand of overthinking & online lurking habits then oscar very much does.... basically underthink??? yes he overcomplicates simple ideas by being too literal but really as a person & conscious being he's great at living in the Present and filtering out excess noise. er... i won't delve too much into the ojp Learned Behaviors of it all and why he's so charming to older people specifically but basically Wwyd if an F1 driver microdosed autisticswag? joking. mostly. but i def agree re: your tags that oscar is never actually consciously trying to be a WELL AKSHUALLY guy because it's just fundamental expressive compulsion alkdsfhaldfh.
also specifically one of my favorite tiny little 814 things OAT is when lando says something unexpected or ridiculous and oscar parrots it back all high-pitched and breathily and disbelievingly like? Girl. this is super jank but perhaps you understand....... 😔
in the end it's getting asked >what have you picked up from lando and oscar saying Well everyone hmmms but not in the Special Multifaceted Uniquely Expressive way that Lando does ! whom I not only know well enough to intimately recognize this mannerism from but have also elected to mention multiple times in this interview. and at the end of the day...? maybe that's romanze
is this anything… idk. also i offer you the jankiest gif ever because i had to remove zbrown to fit them together (Which perhaps is also a metaphor for reaching each other Across The Distance NO PHYSICALITY REQUIRED!! ok i can't just keep saying see: [another random ass example] so i'll stop now but also see: eyebrow raise knowing smile at the end of the sim city video.) anyway why's this such another crasyinsane little moment of how they communicate with each other?! is it just me ?????????
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alskfhsfd ok i'm so sorry. thank u for letting me ramble incessantly 🧡
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atlitudes · 4 months ago
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I'm Cataloging Every Occurrence of the Piano in Malevolent in a Spreadsheet for Leitmotif Analysis. No, I'm Not Kidding.
As the title of this post reads, I've spent the last few weeks listening to every episode of Malevolent and logging every time the piano is heard (both within the story and as background score), to analyze the data for leitmotif/music based theory-crafting. I originally was planning on getting through the entire series before posting anything, but I am very quickly realizing that this is going to take me a while, and I start a new semester in two weeks, so there is a high likelihood I will not finish before I get too busy to chug through as many episodes a day as I am now. I'm on episode 16/44 and I've already logged 137 instances of piano music. I'm not even halfway done. And this is all I've been doing for the past multiple days. For this reason, I've decided to post the link to the spreadsheet before finishing.
If you're familiar with Malevolent, and just how much music is in it, you might be asking, "OP, are you utterly fucking insane?" And well, dear reader, the answer to that is probably yes, but while you might call it madness, I call it love. So, before getting into the meat of things, I wanted to explain why I even decided to do this. Spoilers ahead for Malevolent (obvious, but yeah). If you don't give a single shit about why I did this and want to get straight to the sheet, scroll to the bottom for the link.
So. About 2 weeks ago I finished my first listen-through of Malevolent. One thing about the most recent episodes struck me as very very significant: John and Arthur's "collective force" being titled as the Dies Irae.
Now, a full-bodied explanation of why I find this so important and the possible implications will come at a later date, but long story short, the Dies Irae is a very significant piece of musical literature-- it is, perhaps, the most commonly quoted leitmotif of the past 800 years, and it symbolizes death. So, understandably, the Themes of this kinda sent me down a spiral.
But the Dies Irae being mentioned in such a way also got me thinking: music is a pretty integral part of Malevolent. So, is the Dies Irae quoted anywhere in its soundtrack? I suddenly got very very excited at this prospect, particularly if it might be in Faroe's Song, because well... god that would hurt lol. I scoured the available songs on the bandcamp aaaaand... no luck (as far as I can tell). Regardless, even if the Dies Irae wasn't a part of the soundtrack, I became curious about what kind of leitmotifs were in the podcast, and what they might mean. And so, the spreadsheet was born.
I explain this in the User Guide part of the sheet (please read it before going through the rest btw), but I only track the piano parts of the podcast. The reason for this is two-fold:
First, score wise, piano is very easy for me to pick apart, and I don't see a lot of significance in the suspenseful string music for horror moments (though I don't deny there might be something to it, I simply won't be able to find it.) To me, the piano is also significantly more important than the strings because it's a notable part of the story-- Arthur and his relation to the instrument is a key part of the plot, and multiple of the piano compositions are made by him. For this reason, I found tracking the piano in the podcast worthwhile.
Second, I also don't touch any of the non-original radio tracks in the podcast (i.e. You Call It Madness (I Call It Love)) because this video by The Final Fantasmagorie already does an excellent job of covering them (please check it out!!), and I felt it would be redundant, especially considering the astronomical amount of ground I already have to cover. If these tracks start being featured as leitmotifs in the piano music then... well, I might change my mind, but so far, no dice.
If I noticed a non-piano piece of music (such as the wraith humming in Ep3) that I haven't found any analysis of whatsoever, I also noted it just so there was some record. Other than that, just piano tracks.
Explanations and disclaimers out of the way, here is the link to the spreadsheet. I might open it up to comments and/or editors at some point, but for now, it's just available to viewers. Once again, please read the disclaimer and user guide before the rest of the sheets.
Thanks for reading, I know this was a very long post, and I appreciate it if you've beared with me! Enjoy!
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agentc0rn · 2 months ago
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Pokemon XY Parade Scene Analysis - Desire to learn, Request for Guidance and Acts of Penance
ok havent done a scene or character analysis in a while but here's one for the XY ending and the king himself-- 11 years late but hey, time shouldn't really prevent you from re-evaluating media, right?
**long thread ahead
Ok so. When you/protagonist become champion at the end of the game, which professor sycamore coordinates a parade for you, in a simple way it's both a celebration as well as a coronation. In a technical meta narrative sense, being champion means you’ve finished the game, having defeated the big bad evil and pokemon league and all that. But from the narrative point of view, you've become more than just a champion by title. You've become a hero by saving the world, and the champion elevates your status further. You represent the epitome of a trainer by the virtue of your skills and friendship with your team.
And that's why in that specific scene, AZ comes to the protagonist to request for a battle. I mean technically you could just ask anyone else regardless of status what battling and trainer means. But since in the game we're the only one who he interacted much with, we're also the closest and viable option as not just a source of knowledge and experience, but also a trustworthy acquaintance for him to learn more of the world. Given the context that pokemon were used as tools and weapons back then, AZ wants to know how things have changed and how Pokémon is viewed differently through the concept of a trainer from someone who has great experience and strength of overcoming challenges.
He also probably knows that monarchy is not present in modern society anymore, but may see us, a trainer, who ascended to the status of a champion, as a close equivalent of a monarch. In general, we can kinda see how champions are leading figures of the league but also representatives of the region (more emphasized in the anime and manga). Plus, the way he just casually walks through the red carpet, which is kinda funny and makes you think where is security (it's like you walking through the red carpet to talk to a celebrity lol)? that particular moment, it suggests that part of him still bears the mantle of a king in this display of behavior and attitude. In that regard, it is a metaphorical presentation of passing the crown - the state of Kalos and present is entrusted to you for paving the way to a better future. And what I like about this scene is that you have a former king asking you to teach him and do a demonstration through a battle. It is in a many ways beyond a simple request - it is an indirect way of reliving his long-standing struggle with grief, apathy, hatred and obliviousness to it the world, a desire for much-needed guidance, advice and help to better understand and integrate with the current way of life.
What is also unique is that it’s a reverse of this dynamic of the elderly teaching or exerting authority onto the younger generation. This symbolic battling, served as ritual-test for both AZ and you - the former to challenge his view on the world and the latter to be that example, showing what it means to express your understanding and relationship with your pokemon using the techniques and physical exertion of battling. You show how battling evolved past the violent acts of killing and now as an alternate mode of communication, recreational outlet and development of mutual understanding. Now that is not to ignore that battling still has its part in creating conflicts and interference either of course.
Moreover, once you beat him, his growth is shown - he openly acknowledges his deed and comes to terms with the past by confessing directly to you that he was the one who built the ultimate weapon rather than the third-person narrative he used in his previous encounters. Adding further, it demonstrates shows how this battle meant a lot for him because now everything is clarified and he is at last relieved of his long-carried burden of self-loathing. The battling provided an answer and emotional relief, as well as an expression of penance.
And i guess you could also insinuate that being defeated in a battle was a way of humbling him, and that engaging in a battle makes him feel like a normal human again, rather than the god that he was identified as for the longest time.
And because of that change, it made him return to his former self, which as a result Floette comes back. Although we don't get to really see how she was there in the sky in the first place, it is explained by Sycamore that she was watching him and waiting for him to be the man he was this whole time.
So the parade becomes a site of miracle, happy ending and hope for the future. You helped grandpa return to his self and in turn Floette comes back :)
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Hi! I was just wondering who's your favorite phantom actor?
Can be from any Poto play, or movie, or anything really.
I'm really curious!
This and similar questions have been popping up so much for me in the last week lol
I like to be extremely specific so I will give you a few of my favourites
I have been meaning to re-examine my favourites for a while now
So my favourite overall, my number one, my blorbo, the phantom closest to my heart is always going to be Gerard Butler. Say what you want about his singing, but ain't no other phantom ever done Pleading Eyes (tm) like that man.
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For stage Phantoms the one who has a hold on my mind that just will not let go is Tim Martin Gleason. I love a tall phantom. I love that in the title song he does not order Christine to sing for him, he asks her. He conveys, with his intonation, that he asks for the honour of having her sing for him. I love how expressive he is. This man made so many choices.
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Vocally I think the best singer that has ever played the phantom is John Owen Jones. But I think my favourite phantom Vocally is Tomas Ambt Kofod, because he--more than ANY other Phantom I have heard, sounds like Erik. His voice is remarkable in its smoothness and delicacy, but also very powerful.
He's also so sensual and gentle. He loves to administer loving touches and caresses to his Christine.
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His final lair is also devastating
The Phantom actor I think I respect most is Ethan Freeman. This man has such a dedication to this character and to the book specifically. He refused to read Phantom by Susan Kay because he didn't want an apocryphal version of the character to influence his interpretation, which he specified modeled off of Leroux's Erik, adding touches pulled directly from the novel such as kissing (or almost kissing) the hem of Christine's robe during "Stranger Than You Dreamt It", as Erik kisses the hem of her dress in the book.
Seen here in the West End in 1995 with Jill Washington:
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And here, in Essen, 11 years later with Anne Görner:
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It seems that over time he evolved this moment to the point that he appears to abandon the thought before he brings it close to his lips--probably thinking he's not even worthy of touching her vestments.
He's got an almost faerie-goblin quality to his interpretation. Like he's just scuttled out of the Black Forest. He also leans into the idea of Erik-as-Magician
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He's not afraid to be sensual either, though.
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I think the most emotional phantom is Earl Carpenter. One of the first full boots I ever watched was Earl Carpenter with Rachel Barrel. His Music of the Night changed my brain chemistry forever. The gentleness! The vulnerability! The vacillation between confidence and fragility!!
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The way he would jostle Christine a little when he caught her, his face a picture of panicked concern!
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Though I think his interpretation of Erik as (for want of a better word) asexual is a little wacky (considering the text), it strangely works in favour of Erik's particular brand of sensuality, and it paired particularly well with Rachel's timid and apprehensive interpretation of Christine (which I generally dislike--here, though). And his singing has only improved with maturity. The raw emotion of his All I Ask of You (Rooftop Reprise) in his 2023 run is shattering. Absolutely shattering.
My favourite feral Phantom is without a doubt Scott Davies. If you ever want to see the most unhinged "Let these freaks be together" e/c show you've ever seen you have GOT to watch Scott Davies with Meredith Braun. Ethan Freeman's got the Goblin King energy and Anthony Crivello has the Sewer Gremlin vibe, but if you ever want a Phantom with a real primal streak, you can do no better than long-standing West End understudy Scott Davies:
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This guy tackled the role with a ferocity and an audacity that you don't generally find outside of Russian productions.
His Phantom hands? Oh Lordy!
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And the best part is that Meredith's Christine was picking up EVERYTHING he was laying down. Her Christine is just as mad, just as feral, just as unhinged. And especially paired with such a hearty goodfellow Raoul as Matthew Cammelle--Raoul would have done well to gtfo of there. He was NOT prepared to handle this lmao.
And then there's Ted Keegan. Who for me will always be the Phantom that got away. If I had just done a little more research before--just three months into my poto obsession--booking my tickets to see phantom before it closed on Broadway, I might have had the transcendent experience of seeing Ted Keegan live. As it was, I had no idea he was even still playing the phantom, and wound up with Ben Crawford instead.
And I would be remiss if I finished this list without naming Thomas James O'Leary. Like Ethan Freeman, O'Leary leans into Erik's ghostly persona, with a magician's touch. I think he took a lot of inspiration from Lon Chaney's Phantom (note the position of his hands here).
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His "Sing for me~" is one of my all time favourite line readings and got a very embarrassing reaction out of me when I first heard it.
And then, as if that wasn't enough, there was the moan.
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kolawy · 1 year ago
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My Monk design! Creechurr of love.
I like how every time i do one of these standalone designs my style changes and they are so different from the previous scugs lol im gonna have to redo all of these for when i want to actually make a lineup
some characterization and info under cut! warning its really long
Her journey through FP's facility grounds was rather calm, partly thanks to her friendly and calm attitude, unlike survivor, who struggled and was left with so much trauma after the whole incident. They later found eachother in the empty OE tree just like the ending! At this point they spend a lot of time together until they are found by night, who leads them to the new Colony location (yeah ik amazing writing haha, i just cannot do bad endings huh) and that's pretty much the point where my au thing takes place (i havent really done any cool stuff with this au yet since i havent made all the scug designs and stuff but its in my head. im preparing it lol)
also some individual notes about monk! •Just like all the scugs i have mentioned so far, they have a birth name given by their parents (which is "petal" in this case) and a title that they earned later on! (the title "monk" was given to them for her friendliness and attunement with the world) •As you can probably tell by her design, she loves flowers! and just plants overall! ig it's their hyperfixation kinda like how my night is obsessed with astronomy •Her fur is much shorter than most other scugs, so they can get really cold at times, especially at the new colony location which is further away from FP's can. This is why they are wearing that red scarf, which is a gift from survivor! •The 2 dots next to their eyes are a birth mark, survi has the same thing. •They're really kind and they always try to make others happy, though it can get really tiring for her at times. •She has some weird karmic attunement going on, she can feel when there's something off about someone. Saint makes her really uncomfortable because of this, she can feel that something is very wrong with them. •I forgor to do this for my other scugs but her pronouns are she/they
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wisteria-cherry · 1 year ago
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forty days and forty nights (day nineteen!)
(it’s funny how what was meant to be a stand-in title is actually the official title, lol.)
(i think i’m too far into the series to change the title now😭)
day five of bakugo being absent from the shop. normally, you’d use the term missing-in-action, but you’d banished the word from your vocabulary because the possibility of it was scarily real.
however, you’d promised mio that you wouldn’t let it distract you. you did indeed get through your shift nice and undistracted. after your shift, though, you found yourself turning right instead of left. you walked and walked before you found yourself in front of dynamight agency. how curious. you were already there, so you might as well go in, you figured. automatic doors made way for you as you entered.
the agency was huge. the lobby itself had remarkably high ceilings and it was all decorated in a modern style, displaying wealth in every way short of gold chandeliers. it’s not at all somewhere you’d imagine bakugo working. you kind of imagined more… destruction. maybe a burn hole in the carpet or a smashed vase.
everyone there, heroes and people in suits and other professional-looking types hurried around, all of them seeming to know exactly where they were going. you wished you felt the same. you looked around, trying to find someone to talk to, before locking eyes on two familiar faces.
“um, kaminari, right?” you walked up to the yellow-haired man, whose back was facing you and had an arm wrapped comfortably around a purple-haired girl’s— jiro, was it?— waist. kaminari turned around, and you instantly relaxed. finally, a familiar face.
“oh, hey, kacchan’s buddy!” kaminari grinned. jiro smiled politely and you smiled back. “have you met my girlfriend? you haven’t, right? this is kyoka, she’s awesome.”
“nice to meet you.” kyoka held out her hand, which you shook.
“likewise.” you replied.
“so, what brings you here?” kaminari asked curiously.
“i’m not sure,” you admitted. “i was kind of wondering if you knew where bakugo was.”
“a mission, or something.” kaminari shrugged. “i’m here to figure it out myself ‘cuz he hasn’t been here in awhile.”
“you visit often?” you ask curiously.
“yup. strictly business.” kaminari nodded solemnly. jiro snickered.
“business, as in, trying to convince him to play mini uno with you?”
“okay, that was one time-“
“or maybe business as in trying to bribe him into saving a cat you found stuck in a tree because you said it would ‘look funny’?”
“again, one time-“
“or business like coming to nap on his couch in his office because ‘his is the comfiest’?”
“…okay, so that was more than one time.”
“it’s never business.” kyoka told you with an used expression as kaminari now pouted. “but we are here pretty often. bakugo’s our friend. we’re a bit worried about him.”
“me too,” you admitted. “i know you went to high school with him, so i’m not exactly as close to him as i’m sure you are, but i do hope he’s okay, wherever he is.”
“so do i.” kyoka sighed.
“it’s so annoying!” kaminari groaned. “only ei and mina know what he’s doing and apparently they’re sworn to secrecy.”
“sworn to secrecy? why would they need to do that?” you inquire. kaminari shrugged.
“probably ‘cuz it’s kacchan. kacchan likes his privacy.” kaminari sighed dramatically. “well, all we know is that he went on a mission and now— poof!— gone.”
“well, let me know if you find out what happened.” you sigh. kaminari smiled and nodded.
“yeah! lemme add you to the bakusquad group chat.” kaminari pulled out his phone, opened it, and handed it to you. “put your number in!”
“okay.” you typed your number quickly and returned it to its owner. kaminari fiddled with it for a moment before smiling contently.
“all done!” he announced.
“i’ll be going, then. thank you, kaminari. and it was nice meeting you, kyoka.” you smiled. kyoka smiled back.
“good seein’ ya, (y/n).” kaminari beamed. “later!”
“later,” you replied before leaving the agency.
once you got outside, you inhaled a deep breath of the crisp october air.
“god, i hope he’s okay.”
“okay, that was one time—“
(don’t forget to comment + give ur thoughts :)
@k0z3me @cherryblossomclarity @jazzafaye5294 @stevenknightmarc @failingstudents-blog
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peachdues · 1 year ago
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peach oh my LAWD phanta 3 was so good 🥺. Would you consider explaining the title a little more? i read the para at the end with it and i kind of got it, but i wanted to pick your brain a little too!
(I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get around to this pls don’t hate me too much).
First, thank you!! Second, I love this question bc honestly, the Phanta brain rot is still real. More below the cut since I went off lol.
spoilers below.
Almost everything in Phantasmagoria is, well, a phantasmagoria — an exhibition of optical effects and illusions; a constantly shifting complex succession of things seen or imagined.
Nearly every part of the story — character interactions, perspectives, plot points — is distorted in some way, whether it be by Wisteria/alcohol, grief, or just individual stubbornness.
The Wisteria is probably the most obvious example, as it literally distorts Reader’s perceptions of both herself, her environment, and her interactions with others
I was particular with not describing the Reader physically (even beyond her clothing) past that initial scene in Part I when she goes to the Kizuki for the first time with Mitsuri. When she does describe herself, she speaks of herself as a “raving princess” and “effervescent” — but nothing truly descriptive.
Why does it matter? Contrast that with the comments Sanemi makes about how he “wouldn’t have known it was her” (which later we find out is literally true); he also tells her, point blank, she looks gaunt, and she has no reaction whatsoever — not even an internal reaction. That’s the wisteria distorting her self-image, until she finally looks in the mirror at the end of Part II and fully sees herself for the first time in a while — and realizes what it has done.
But the Wisteria distorts other things too, namely, the appeal of the club/rave life that Reader throws herself into. At first, she calls it a paradise — it’s her escape from both her heartache and from herself in general. The club then distorts her perception of others — namely, Sanemi, like when she describes him as “menacing” under the club lights, and yet the flashback that immediately follows is one of the saddest in the series — and it shows that Sanemi is hurting just as much as she is. But the wisteria distorts everything around her, so she’s only seeing what she wants to see. Yet, when the illusion starts to crack, what happens? She panics — she describes the Kizuki as too loud, too claustrophobic; the Wisteria quite literally leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.
The other major example of a phantasmagoria in the story is its main theme — grief. Anyone who has been up close and personal with grief can probably attest to the way it quite literally changes how you view everything — even if that means it narrows your perception (I.e. distorts it). Both Reader and Sanemi are grieving significant losses, and those losses make them blind to the other’s suffering in return. It’s not so much miscommunication as it is two kids who were forced to bear the weight of the world way too fast.
That grief then continues to distort their reality, but not in the sense that they’re misremembering events. Everything they say happened, actually happened. Y/N was abandoned by Kyojuro and Sanemi; but she distanced herself from them first, and she also abandoned Sanemi when he needed her. Neither of the boys were there for her while her mother was sick and when she died; but they didn’t know until it was too late. Sanemi did return her feelings 100% at the train station; but he was so overwhelmed and reeling from Genya’s death that he reacted poorly. Sanemi did see Y/N that day at the crosswalk; he just didn’t recognize her. Y/N was isolated after her mother died, but Sanemi was desperately trying to find her the whole time.
Thus, everything happened exactly the way both Y/N and Sanemi said it did, but their grief prohibited them from stepping back and seeing the broader picture — so their interpretation, though objectively true, is still distorted. This translates into other things as well, such as Y/N constantly misinterpreting Sanemi’s motives and efforts to make things right between them, because otherwise, it wouldn’t square with the understanding she has of what happened and why. She thinks he’s using her for convenience; he’s actually letting her use him in any way she wants just so he can have a chance to take care of her. She accuses him of being possessive because he feels entitled to her affection, but he actually loves her (deeply), and is terrified of losing her, because she is quite literally wasting away in front of him. She says he doesn’t care about her, yet she won’t let him. He tries to talk to her about everything right after they start hooking up, yet she refuses to engage. She runs away. She’s cold, and she shuts him down harshly even when he tries to offer her bare minimum affection and care (this also is supposed to contrast with what we know as the Reader, which is that she is still very much in love with him). We also find out that Sanemi spent every other weekend taking flowers to her mother’s grave — again, shattering that illusion she’s created in her mind that he doesn’t care about her.
It’s not until they finally hash everything out in the kitchen at Tengen’s that both realize they’ve been focusing on one narrow part of a much larger picture, and that they’ve both let their grief blind themselves to one another. When Y/N finally steps back and looks at the whole instead of the part, the illusion shatters. Love is the final phantasmagoria. Y/N realizes that she’s mistakenly believed she was running away from love (and thus, Sanemi) only to realize that not only has she been running in circles, but Sanemi has been running opposite of her the whole time. They’re two sides of the same coin; they were bound to crash into one another at some point.
This is just like, a bird’s eye overview of the mind map that I drew out in my journal for Phanta, and I’m sure I’m leaving something out. If y’all have any thoughts, I’m always happy to hear them (seriously).
Thank you for the ask, and I apologize that I went off the deep end lmao.
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neonmetro · 3 months ago
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OMG MERMAID MELODY ?????? OMG IM GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE I LOVE THAT SHOW SO FUCKING MUCH. AND SHUGO CHARA......OH BROTHER... THOSE TWO I LOVE SOOOO MUCH AS A KID BUT COULD NEVERR FIND THE TITLES FOR THEM BECAUSE I COULD ONLY FIND EPISODES ON YOUTUBE RIGHT ?? BUT HOLY SHIT MY NEW SCHOOL ACTUALLY HAS LIKE 10 FUCKING BOOKS OF SHUGO CHARA IM THEIR LIBRARY AND I LOST MY SHIT OVER IT ( I'm literally such a die hard for Shugo chara I'm so glad someone shares the love for it like I do )
IM PRECURE WAS LITERALLY MY LIFE I FEAR.........I've watched every single one and ohhh boy 😭😭😭😭 AND IVE WANTED THE TOYS SINCE I WAS LITTLE.....BUT THEIR SO EXPENSIVE ONLINE !!!!!!! *shakes fist in the sky* BUT GLITTER FORCE WAS DEFINITELY INTERESTING ? SO SAY THE LEAST LMAO *cries*
I remember when I first watched madoka magica......God bless I cried so much ( I still loved it though ) I tried to watch it a second time and completely forgot my little sister was in the room LMAO and had to turn it off because she got scared 😞😞😞😞
But another mahou shojo I LOVE TO DEATH is Ojamajo doremi. THAT TOOK UP ALOT OF MY CHILDHOOD......I JUST LOVE THE WAY THEY TRANSFORMMMMM THE MUSIC AND EVERYTHING IS SO AWESOME AND JUST SO...RAHHHHHH
I also have the card captor sakura Clow cards sitting in my room rn.....( and up to book 6 of sailor moon ) I stare at it everyday THEIR SO PRETTY. I also have sailor moon figures and I sailor moon.... GUYS, I THINK PARIS ANON LIKE MAGICAL GIRL....!!!!!
while I'm on this may, I recommend some precure you might like based on other magical girl shows you seem interested in.......
Star twinkle precure - I LOVE THIS ONE SOOOO MUCH.....it's about a girl who meets an alien girl, and it's so sweet *wipes tear in yuri* the way they transform is to DIEEE FOR. they draw out their transformations while singing, and it's AWESOME they also collect zodiac pins and can transform into said Zodiac :3
Go ! Princess Precure - this one kinda reminded me of pitchi pitchi mermaid melody for some reason.....probably because theirs a mermaid cure but ANYWAYS it's about a girl who goes to an elite school and it's so awesome, especially with the princess theme
Kira Kira al a mode - this one is about food.....which is so awesome it's about how food provides happiness and if you don't put love into the food you make then the world becomes sad....( they also run a cafe similar to Tokyo mew mew ) they are also based on animals :3
Heart catch - that one is always everyone's favorite, and I swear anyone who has watched precure has recommended this one first. It's honestly just peak
I COULD RECOMMEND THE WHOLE FRANCHISE BUT.......THANK YOU NEON I LOVE RANTING ABOUT MAGICAL GIRLS.....
-paris anon
SHUGO CHARA LEGIT CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY. THE SHEER STYLE AND TOPICS THAT THEY DELVE INTO (that aren't about that fuck ass emo cat) ARE DONE SO WELL....
PRECURE LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD 😢😭😭😭 i really need to watch it but idk if it has a dub and my little goldfish needs it to be dub otherwise i get bored.... (so um. that's why i watched glitter force .)
THE TOYS ARE GENUINELY SO COOL LIKE i got 4 big ones but these are the ones i can immediately find)
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YEAH THAT'S THE UNFORTUNATE PART OF PMMM YOU WILL IN FACT GET TRAUMATIZED IF YOU'RE TOO YOUNG AND BE SCARED OF PEAK...
OHHH I SAW DOREMI BEFORE .... tbh taiwan has so much gacha of it ??? didn't know it was so popular there but their designs are sooo cutes
SAILOR MOON COVERS IS GENUINELY SO PEAK. i got a random assortment...?? idk i also got 2 vols of the japanese ver but their covers are of my fav characters so its so awesome
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OHHH MY GOD SAILOR MOON FIGURES...... THAT SOUNDS SO AWESOMEEE SAKURA MERCH IS SOOO PRETTYYYY like how do they do it. what crack cocaine do they feed those merch artists
been thinking about getting some bc i just rewatched crystal but also I Don't Think I Have The Room for more figures lol...
I'LL DEF HAVE TO CHECK THESE SHOWS OUTTTTT TY PARIS ANON FOR THE RECOMMENDATIONS!!!! houghhgg you got me at mermaid and zodiac i am a SUCKER for that stuff I NEED MORE FRILLY MAGICAL GIRLS I'VE BEEN DEPRIVED OF IT FOR TOO LONG (RIPS OFF MY SHIRT
(QUICK EDIT I JUST READ THE 2ND ASK)
OFCCC I LOVE HEARING OTHER PEOPLE RANT ABOUT MAHOU SHOUJO ITS SO NICE TO TALK TO OTHERS ABOUT THIS AWESOME GENRE.......
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