#already forgot my ask tags
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hi chat sorry for the posting silence chat. here is a very small handful of the art ive done in the ...... while . ehm. vaguely gestures to pressure and regretevator . sorry gang also been really fucking tired from work
chickenchirps you wanted me to tag you on the redraw of that one super old art but its been a while since then so i wwill just hope ouy see this /sily/lh its the second image (i dont like how i redrew the first panel so im only sharing the second)
the thing w p.ai.nter are my roblox avatars (except for image 8, thats my friend w the p.ai.nter backpack). i have a portable p.ai.nter backpack. i like to think of playing games w him on as enrichment in his enclosure.
and thats not even half of the shit ive drawn of gecko. im just too embarrassed to show all of it
#salmon scribbles#my art#incredibly out of order but the 3 first ones are the oldest. theyre like a month or two old. others are mostly from this month.#daycare attendant sun#daycare attendant moon#dca fandom#pressure roblox#sebastian solace#p.AI.nter#p.ai.nter pressure#sunday's silly sb self insert au#dog thing w horns and wings is one of my sonas#gecko (white eyed thing) is also a sona for pressure#you already know sunday#sorry i forgot how to tag#daycare attendant eclipse#eclipse fnaf#sun fnaf#moon fnaf#cassie fnaf#sorry shes in an image. i will tag her with a single tag. you'll live#glamrock freddy#please be nice to me i know its been a while /lh#all the asks sitting in my inbox IM SORRY#dca community#fnaf dca
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wyd when my gang pull up
#decided to simplify their designs n put all my watchdog gijinkas into one post#no more well rendered jumpscares#now that i think abr it i shouldve put their names in there cuz theyre barely recognizable atp#but like whatever we stay silly 🔥#woy#wander over yonder#save woy#art tag#i shouldve also asked joeyprotozoa if they already have a bert gijinka but i forgot#so thats him now#he got a whole new transformation 💖
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animation usually isn't my thing but i spent like 4hrs on these and had a blast! :]
#if you think he's missing his chest scar - i forgot it lmao#my pc was already weeping at the rainbow layers i gave it mercy lmao#color's so fun to animate i had so much fun :D#shoutout to the ask about color that i got a couple days ago u were my inspo :)#tumblr pls dont kill these i love them so much#my art#my animation#< will that tag have multiple posts on my blog? maybe???#utmv#color!sans#color sans#its taking so long for tumblr to process these ;-;#undertale au#othertale sans#< i think?#i legit know nothing about him lmao#its 5am... bedtime i think#tw eyestrain#moving stuff
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dont be shy give us more sub!bruno hcs 👉👈
Why of course you can!! Ho could I say no when you’ve included such a devious Blumoji???
I’ve got even better news for you: guess what. I didn’t just give you some headcanons. Nope—I also wrote a little smut fic to go along with these. Ehehehehe I hope you enjoy it ;)
Without further ado…
Submissive Bruno Headcanons!!!
Bruno Bucciarati enjoys giving up control. It's a nice change of pace--the idea of relinquishing his authority to this partner is exciting.
He’s unabashedly vocal. This man is not afraid to let you know exactly how he's feeling, holding nothing back.
At first, he may try to put on a sly act, wearing a smug poker face while he tells you, "Try me." Even though he's usually phenomenal at keeping calm and collected, getting dominated by you is one of the few things that will make him break. It's almost jarring how quickly he crumbles apart in the bedroom, rapidly deteriorating into a trembling, breathy mess.
He’ll let you restrain him--he enjoys bondage. True, he could easily escape using Sticky Fingers, but he doesn't even try.
Bruno loves it when you play with his stand; the phantom sensations drive him nuts. He derives a lot of pleasure from watching you.
He likes being overstimulated, and you can actually make him cry if he’s overstimulated enough. It's pretty easy to achieve this by pleasuring him and his stand at the same time.
He also enjoys edging. 'Nuff said.
He whimpers whenever he’s orgasmed a lot.
#bruno bucciarati x reader#bruno buccellati x reader#bruno bucciarati#bruno buccellati#jjba x reader#jovia joestar writes#hehehehehehehe i had too much fun with this one#whoops forgot to tag this mature. well. i already posted it. fuck#unhinged brunoposting#my asks#coochellati’s headcanons ♡
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people practice w Them <3
#posting this and then shoving my head into a hole Bye#i am! Not Confident!!! in my people scribbling abilities!!#but im trying!!! im fucking trying!!!#i already see improvement#not enough to make me go 'wee the masses are gonna love this'#but enough that i can fathom posting. i can handle it. i can do this#if i dont do it now then i never will!!!!#im still gonna scream into a pillow rip it apart and then eat the stuffing!!!!#ah... the mortification of Existing... of Being Perceived...#it is ever present and inescapable! youd thing id be used to it by now!!!#ill be on my death bed asking people to leave the room so that i can die w/o feeling horribly self conscious and Seen#no seriously every time i think about my potential death and or coma should that happen#i prematurely cringe at the Attention. people potentially crying at my bedside Eugh No Thank You Please Do That Elsewhere#either call me a loser and drop off a single flower or leave me be <3#THIS IS A WELCOME HOME SCRIBBLE POST. IM SORRY I FORGOT#scribble garnish#uh um uh so uh wally and barnaby am i rite fellas-#in my mind they're picking up takeout for dinner <3#yeah no im not tagging it with a fandom tag. i dont want to be perceived As We've Established#im somewhat satisfied with that first wally.... swag <3#& do i have major gender envy for barnaby? yeah#im not used to drawing people but i should be... i need to be...#THERE ARE GUYS I WANNA DRAW! mine and others!!! ngl mostly mine!!!
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I finished posting the unabashedly educational Sword Fic.
It includes a detailed (but hopefully beginner-friendly) explanation of all the steps of making a Nichirin blade from a sunny mountain like Mt. Youkou, a touch of swordsmith and metalworker folk lore (including demons), meta about what must make Kimetsu no Yaiba's swordsmithing methods different from real life methods, some character exploration for Haganezuka and his polishing method, vocabulary and additional resources in the chapter notes, and hopefully, an endearing, silly POV character to learn this all through.
#my fics#SWORDS SWORDS SWORDS#would you like a story about the years of background of this fic?#I was not very well-versed in metallurgy until recent years but my study of the Japanese language goes back to#well#longer than some of you may have been around#I always liked samurai and swords for the aesthetic but started to take more of an interest when I lived in Shimane#and on a day when I had a friend taking me around to rural sites associated with a legendary monster she was like#let's go see the sword museum while you're out here#but that museum was closed (it comes back into this story though)#so we went to a different one that no longer exists but that was my first encounter with how much work it takes to make the sword ore#fast forward years later#I am writing this blog and it becomes known as a fun place to read about Japanese culture as seen in KnY (thanks glad you enjoy)#I decide that I must tell people how hard it is to make the ore and finally visit that main museum on a trip back to Shimane#I collect material and struggle to do more research and wrap my head around it#and I write the first version of Teppi's story that focused mostly on the smelting and glazed over the forging and polishing and stuff#meanwhile I am in a job situation I have already long since wanted out of and soon I want out a lot more desperately#job searches were disheartening but then I found THE ONE I WANTED#and on that first interview when I was already like PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#they asked if there's a Japanese cultural topic I could suddenly explain in great detail if asked#and without mentioning this blog I said I had recently written up something for fun about tatara smelting methods (and they forgot this)#fast forward again and I very happily got the job and was very nervous as I got the rundown on a very large annual nerd project#and when they announced the topics for that year I saw that tatara smelting methods in the region I knew them from was on the list#and I was like#asudyaiusdyuasdyuahduahduhsdhuPLEASE GIVE ME THAT#and i got it and when I went out there for research people were like#...why do you know all this...???????#and since I dared not mention my KnY blog I was like#...I lived in Shimane...#it seems I broke the tags because the rest of the story got cut off but hi yes you get the idea
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Hello again everyone! I may have forgotten that this blog even existed. 😅
There are a plethora of reasons that have dragged my attention away from this account that happened over the past few weeks that made me forget to even open up this account, but alas, such is the way with real life I'm afraid. 😔
Luckily, Stanley reminded me of this accounts existence! So, you have him to thank for my return.
I shall do my best to get to the poor forgotten asks sent into my inbox that has been collecting dust, however! With Oswin now busy with his studies, I figure I should grace you all with my presence once more. 🥰
In the meantime however, let me show you something Oswin set up for me that I found interesting!
Oswin's been getting into this video game called "UltraKill" as of late. He showed me the first few levels of the game, and as thrilling and heart-racing as it was, I wasn't hooked yet in terms of gameplay.
That was, until he showed me the endless fighting mode.
He took the assets from the Parable into this game, and told me to just let my frustrations out.
Suffice to say, I love this this mode dearly. Oddly enough, I actually feel calmer after going through a few waves of enemies! Simply letting the music and violence sway me as I hop and run around and kill was quite fun! Though I may not know how to use the other weapons well as much as the first weapon given to the player, I still found it enjoyable. 😊
Aside from this however, I do have other things to share with you about! But I shall save them for later. I can't exactly share everything I have to offer all at once! There's got to be some suspense here and there!
#the stanley parable#narrator tsp#tsp#rp#tsp rp#tsp narrator#(ooc: hello yea i forgot abt this blog highkey)#(mb yall. past few months have been real shitty. and art school is intense)#(however i do wanna get thru the asks already in there. as well as do more random narry yapping posts akjsdh)#(also. lmk what tags i should use for this blog. since its an ask blog. i dont wanna flood any basic narrator tags with my posts)#(anywho. see yall skdjfh)#(asks are still open btw. ill try n get thru em aksjhd)#virgil jameson#ask blog#rp blog
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Promotional for Tate's company in my interp of A Better World AU.
FULL TEXT BENEATH THE CUT‼️‼️
God, I love exploring what he can do if he hadn't suffered through his father abandoning them and then YEARS of caretaker burnout as he tried in vain to heal his dad. What if he hadn't learned to fear his intellect and skill. What if Appalachia hadn't been cut out of him by being raised in the Bay Area. What if his abilities and cultural identity were both nurtured and encouraged by loving parents and a strong educational support system. What then. 👁️
I think he definitely still has his issues, because public figures often do lol. Fame causes so many problems. But fuck if I don't wanna let this lil scruffy genius out of his mental cage of repression, burnout, and depression. I think he's wild, enthusiastic, and has so much heart and spirit underneath all those layers of bullshit. 30 years of suffering and he is in his 30s, the divergence of the AU puts him on a radically different path from childhood and that makes him a TOTALLY new person.
On the highest peaks in the world, the strongest tethers aren't your rope, but the emotional ties which unite your climbing team and keep you connected to those waiting for you back home. Whether it's by blood or by choice, Tater Higgs McGucket understands the importance of family. Son of revolutionary inventor and co-founder of the Institute of Oddology Fiddleford Hadron McGucket, Tate describes his father as his closest friend, collaborator, and mentor. In collaboration with family friend and other co-founder of the Institute Stanford ("Ford") Pines, the three first designed their renowned supplemental oxygen delivery system after an expedition studying anomalies in the Himalayas.
"Our investigation took us to Camp 1 of Manaslu," Tate described in an exclusive interview with Mountaineering Monthly last week, "And I was shocked by the amount of traffic. This was some of the roughest terrain on the planet, but we saw more people out there than on some of my hiking trips back home in Oregon. . . Ford was our interpreter, and after talking with the locals, we realized that there were all these companies selling tickets to the top — with sherpas puttin' themselves on the line just to ferry tourists to the summit."
The influx of inexperienced climbers has had disastrous consequences, as Tate witnessed firsthand. "A lot of these people, they're physically and mentally capable of makin' that kinda climb, but maybe they don't follow best practice. You can summit without any oxygen, if ya stop and acclimatize along the way. But that takes a while, so it can be really temptin' to ignore your body and throw an oxygen bandaid at the problem. But then you're puttin' yourself in an emergency situation if it fails. While we were there, one of those climbers ran out, and a sherpa had to run more oxygen up there. I told him there was a storm a-comin', but he went up anyway. And we ended up losin' 'em both."
Tate's growing twang was underscored by a nervous bouncing of his leg, and he took a moment to collect himself before resuming the interview.
"Dad and I had a look at these open circuit breathing apparatuses. While they were reliable, we saw they were plum wasteful. Knew we could make somethin' better. There's a growin' culture of risk-takin' 'round them mountains. And maybe we cain't stop the industry that's causin' these problems, but we can at least make it safer for them climbers. 'Cuz at the end of the day, regardless of what ya think about these people? With an accident like that, there’s people left behind that're a-hurtin' somethin' fierce. Partners, friends, kids without parents. I mean, just the thought of losin' my dad like that is enough to break my heart — but that's reality, for both the families of that climber and the sherpa who died tryin' to save him. . . Naw, I reckon we can do better."
That was how the youngest McGucket, who had become a household name in the 1990s for his work in designing personal computers with his father's company, first ventured into the world of alpinism. But what he hadn't expected was to fall in love during the process.
"I always needed nature," he explained, "I get overstimulated awfully easy, and so I go out there to clear my head. Been hikin' and fishin' since I was a kid. . . And so, after workin' with climbers to test this equipment — I saw a lot of them eight-thousanders up close, right? And one day, I just knew I had to see it from the top."
But having become familiar with the dangers involved, Tate knew that preparing himself for such a climb would be no easy task.
Luckily, he found a trainer in Ford's twin brother, Stanley Pines.
“Stanley is a stand-up guy. Real old school. Throws a hell of a punch, catches a hell of a catfish.” Tate said of his mentor, “He’s a fighter. So I knew I needed him, because all it takes is one slip up or act of god for these expeditions to turn life-or-death. And he’s been great. Neither of us knew much about rock climbin’ or mountaineering before all this. But we’ve learned together. And having summited a few eight-thousanders now, I can tell ya, I wouldn’t be here without his help.”
Also aiding in his expeditions were his prototype real-time weather and vital monitoring systems, which have since become standard issue in all McGucket brand protective wear. But Tate is most proud of his high-frequency beacon system, which allows climbers to communicate with their partners and first responders — even from inside perilous crevasses.
"The danger of avalanche or serac collapse is real. There are times when your life just ain’t in your own hands. Our systems allow climbers to communicate when they’re entering or exiting a perilous area, and can send out an SOS. They’re also constantly pinging, so in the event somethin’ does happen, they’ll help your climbing partners or first responders find you.”
But high altitudes aren’t the only place you’ll find the twin peaks of McGucket Mountaineering. Tate’s inventions have seen heavy use by first responders of all stripes, from firefighters to wilderness search and rescue — and he has recently signed a contract to manufacture respirators for medical use.
"At the end of the day, it’s all about making it home safely.” Tate concluded, “You gotta prioritize what matters most. You can do incredible things in this world, but none of it matters if you can’t share them with the people who love you.”
#gravity falls#tate mcgucket#yes i write tate with an accent even though he was raised in oregon in this AU#bc i hc that he probably had a LOT of problems after starting public school (during his dad's initial absence)#autistic overstimulation & shutting down#plus classmates harrassing him asking if hes from beverly hillbillies#and teachers correcting his dialect out of him as improper#in Fiddleford's absence emma may has to be the sole provider and it's just difficult to fully address and prevent that#but in this AU fidds comes home to find his son terribly insecure#believing hes stupid (when he was bright and chrious and already brushing with ALGEBRA when Fidds left) bc “hillbillies are dumb” and he#“forgets how to talk” in school when his classmates get loud#and he sees Tate self correcting his accent and#and fiddleford has been thru this himself personally in college#we know he was holding back bc his accent got thicker as he devolved with the memory gun so#yeah fidds would have homeschooled him 😤 not allowing his son to experience the same fuckin trauma#and so tate recovers his accent in this au whereas my normal verse tate has it forcibly removed#though he knows how to code switch and is trying for this interview#it usually gets thicker with anxiety lol#fuck me forgot the art tag#my art#ramblings
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[Images description: Twelve pictures of Star Trek actors. The phrase "thank you for being both amazing actors and amazing people" is written across most of the images one word at a time, except for the two images in the middle. The middle images are of William Shatner, reading "not you!" and Robert Beltran, reading "or you for that matter". The actors in the other images are George Takei, René Auberjonois, DeForest Kelley, Gates McFadden, Wil Wheaton, Kate Mulgrew, Patrick Stewart, Siddig El Fadil (aka Alexander Siddig), Nichelle Nichols and Leonard Nimoy. End image description.]
Non exhaustive list of course. Many more such cases, in fact feel free to add
(insp)
#i considered putting sid's full name in the image description but i felt that might complicate things for screen reader users#but just so it's in the post i'll put it in the tags#siddig el tahir el fadil el siddig abdurrahman mohammed ahmed abdel karim el mahdi#yes i did copy paste it my memory is shit. i can't even remember my own full name...#(i gave myself like five different middle names at one point because if i'm already changing my name for trans reasons i might as well have#fun with it right but eventually i stopped using them because i literally kept forgetting my own name and had to look it up)#(i still have the note btw and since it seems i won't legally be using that last name anyway (nor any of the middle names) feel free to ask#anyway#star trek#not star trek#(schrödinger's post lol)#oh!!! i forgot one version of sid's name!! here goes#صدّيق الطاهر الفاضل الصدّيق عبدالرحمن محمد أحمد عبدالكريم المهدي#to be fair there's nothing in that tag (right now) but i guess i'm a completionist. or something#the others are ofc already findable because of the image description#oh and just fyi if you wanna add others do feel free to add new trek actors. i didn't include any here essentially because as soon as i inc#include one of them people are gonna complain i didn't include more of them. plus i ran out of space. sorry tawny#oh and to that one anon: i WILL still answer but i needed a break lol#original posts fresh from quark's pussy
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the parrot prince, yellow diamond!!
gemcyt by @chrisrin, yellow diamond stampy by @ingapotejtoo :D
listen listen please
do you see my vision here guys it took all of my willpower to not give him birds and i had an idea that would be so good but alas I am not up to the task of designing all of stampy’s helpers as gems but it would be sooo goofy if yellow diamond stampy held all his helpers and they sat on him like his minecraft story mode parrots i would die from joy if it was real
also yellow pearl sqaishey. you agree. they are married and yellow and bird already all that needs to happen is a duck to human conversion !!!
ALSO PLEASE PLEASE I KNOW YELLOW DIAMOND HAS DARK SHOES BUT HE HAS HIS BOOTS PLEAS PLEASE THE BOOTS THEY’RE IRON BOOTS IT’S AS CLOSE AS I COULD GET WITHOUT IT LOOKING TOO SILLY
#bella said something#gemcyt#stampylonghead#i speedran this and i don’t know what’s happening with the shading or the colors or anything#but gemcyt stampy has stolen my brain#i May or May not be thinking about the wonder quest guys#but until I can find a gem that can be purple or red and isn’t already something in su then they remain in my files#it is past midnight I should go to bed <3#oh I nearly forgot#bella did a thing#it’s been a while since I’ve used that tag huh#also symmetry tool was my savior here#don’t ask me what’s going on with his hair because i do not know
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I was wondering, do you think alfred and uhtred had feelings for each other in canon?
ALRIGHT SO. I'm so extremely sorry for taking so long to answer, life has been messy for a while now and I think it has been almost 3 months since you sent this. I have basically written this entire answer little by little every single day since I first received the ask and I have only just now finished reading it again.
EVEN MORE APOLOGIES BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE EXTREMELY LONG, I'll keep it under the cut!!
Please bear in mind that there are spoilers for the entire show and film and please forgive any possible typo.
OFF WE GO NOW!!
In general I think it is important to note that the last kingdom is a show FULL of queer characters (and I will die on that hill), mostly because there's just so much subtext in the whole show, and Alfred is 100% queercoded.
There are so many aspects of his character that just betray his queerness and the first thing that does that is literally the thing so many blame him for: the way he treats Uhtred.
NOW.
Let's look at Alfred's first scene ever. Alfred appears in 1x02 and he's introduced as someone who considers himself a sinner because of his inability to control his lust. When Beocca speaks to him about the girl he’s currently feeling guilty about, Alfred's immediate first reaction is to banish her, but instead he's presented with the option of bringing her into his service. Now the reason why it is proposed by Beocca is to keep her close to show God that he's able to resist temptation and, when he does resist, to thank this higher being he so desperately believes in. This is something that comes again in 1x03 when Beocca tells him to pray for strenght the moment he almost fails again.
In brief we know that there are two moments when Alfred has to pray: when he resists temptation and when he's tempted.
After he becomes king he reserves a very particular treatment for this girl who tempted him. In 1×04 we can see, for example, that soon after washing his hands, he basically throws a towel at her without a single glance. The treatment he gives her is a cold and distant one and that's the exact same way he treats Uhtred.
Indeed, as he did when he accepted Beocca's suggestion about the servant girl, I actually believe that proving God that he could resist temptation is one of the two reasons why Alfred has brought Uhtred into his service in the first place. The only other important use he had was his knowledge of the Danes, because, at least at this point of the story, the reason of him being such a fantastic sword genuinely does not stand.
In S1 it is very obvious that Uhtred isn't that much of a great warrior, and that makes sense because he's still very young, and at the end of the day he only first made his reputation when he killed Ubba, which, by Uhtred's own admission in the books, was entirely by luck, since he was actually the one who was about to get killed. Of course it is absolutely clear why he would have never admitted such thing, he needed that reputation and that was the first significant chance he got, but the thing is that he had been in Alfred's service for a few years already when that happened.
Alfred gave lands and a title of ealdorman to someone who was a 18 years old who came from Northumbria, a some guy who had absolutely nothing and no reputation whatsover, and that he himself barely knew, even worse a man who looked like a dane and that was a pagan. If you ignore Uhtred's point of view, that's absolutely insane of someone who just became a king who didn't even have that much support from his nobles yet.
It was serving Alfred that granted Uhtred to become an actual warrior with reputation, before that he wasn't one, as Uhtred himself told Alfred in 1×02.
As I said, the only good reason for Alfred to take such a man into his service was to have danish knowledge in court, but even that could have been something quick, you know, learning the basics and then just keeping contact with him as a spy, exactly as he did with Haesten at the end of S2 and at the beginning of S3, but no. Alfred tried his very best to tie him down to Wessex and make sure that he would remain. Why is that? It is to prove that he was able to resist temptation and being in control of his own body.
Alfred was an extremely pious man as many say throughout the whole show and even in the film. He needed to prove himself to God so that he would have had favour from his part and back then there was also the whole concept of "a king who's not able to control his body is not able to control his kingdom". Resisting temptation with a man would have proven it even more than resisting temptation with a woman, especially because, compared to the other servants, Alfred genuinely arrives to a point where he's actually and sort of obviously in love with Uhtred, so it isn't any longer just a body thing but a mind/heart thing, so even worse because that would cause his judgement to be clouded, Alfred himself admits this in 2x06, where he also says that Uhtred is a temptation to him.
The word temptation is an interesting one because Alfred always uses it with a sexual connotation, we saw that in s1 especially, but I want to talk about the episode I just mentioned. Here Alfred talks about Uhtred to Aelswith and he says:
What if all this time, it has been the work of the Devil tempting me? Offering me this warrior, this seemingly loyal and brave man, who piece by small piece, is eating at my soul and clouding what I believe to be right and wrong.
Alfred here, as I said already, explicitly says that he considers Uhtred a temptation sent by the devil, which, with the knowledge of his specific use of that word, can only mean one thing. The fact itself that Aelswith then replies that "this is what the devil would do" is noteworthy because that is a topic once called to attention by Asser in 1x06 when talking about Iseult he tells Uhtred "I know the devil exists, hiding within beauty is a trick he will use often, I'm sure". Aelswith gives Alfred a solution to the problem by telling him to get rid of him, and that's what does, he banishes Uhtred. Alfred talked of Uhtred as a temptation and then he chose to banish him for a while, does it by any chance remind you of something? His first instict in 1x02 about the servant.
Another thing that is very important to point out is that, as I said before, Alfred is considered a pious christian, so we know that Alfred prays daily and a lot, he even uses prayers to establish a political connection most of the times, but that can't prove his piety because many did too. The only times Alfred proves his piety are those when he prays alone and that happens 3 times in 3 seasons, which is funny since we could have expected way more for his reputation, but since it happens so little there has to be a meaning. As we said, we know that Alfred has to pray in two specific moments: when he has to thank God for resisting temptation and when he's tempted.
So very casually the times where he prays alone are always connected to Uhtred.
The first moment it happens is in 2x06, before the scene when Alfred admits that Uhtred tempts him and after the scene when Alfred screams at Uhtred "I do not know you and I could never know you", which is totally "know" as the biblical meaning of the word, if we consider everything that I have said before. The two other times are in s3, when Alfred's love for Uhtred is way more obvious and rather in a more romantic way than just attraction. The first time in that season is in 3x03 when he's there praying, with tears in his eyes, a few weeks (perhaps even a month) after Uhtred has betrayed him, and there he speaks of him and we see that he's hurt and wants to hurt Uhtred in return, so there's an element of heartbreak. The second time is in 3x06, after he has seen Uhtred again for the first time since his betrayal, and there we can find something close to worry for Uhtred's condition as a pagan, because he says that "He is a man in great need of the guidance of God". In 3x08 there's also an interesting hint about his prayers when Beocca hypothyses that Alfred prays for Uhtred's return and the truth behind it is written plainly on Alfred's face. His prayers shifted from a physical attraction type of temptation to something that could very clearly be recognised as love.
S3 is THE proof that Alfred was in love with Uhtred and, while you can already see it in the first episode of it when he watched Uhtred ride away from the city (which he also did in 1×02), that love becomes more obvious immediately after Uhtred betrays him in 3x02, YES THAT SCENE WHEN HE’S CRYING ALONE IN THE ROOM. While I do realise that it could be interpred as crying because his dream of an england was in danger, STILL you know that it is not just that, that man was heartbroken and the worst thing about it is that Alfred totally knew that he had no one to blame but himself, because Alfred is always perfectly aware of the way he treats Uhtred, think about the “I do not, I cannot” in 2x06 when Aelswith asks him if he trusts him, Alfred cannot trust Uhtred because if he did then he would totally fall into temptation, I MEAN LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TO AETHELSTAN WITH INGILMUNDR.
From that episode onward Alfred is on another level of misery, and that’s truly an achievement considering how miserable that man always is. First of all he’s angrier than ever and that anger reaches levels of revenge, confirmed by Alfred himself in 3×09 when he says this:
It was done to damn you. To inflict pain, possibly. I try to make decisions rationally. However, taking your children was not a rational decision. It was thoughtless. It was selfish.
Here Alfred admits that he wanted to hurt Uhtred and why did he do that? Because he wasn’t thinking rationally, and why wasn’t he thinking rationally? Because it concerned Uhtred. This literally always goes back to 2x06, because Alfred did say there that Uhtred clouded his judgment and that is the proof. When it comes to Uhtred, when Uhtred is around, he just can’t think rationally. That’s literally some romantic shit there.
I made the example of Aethelstan and Ingilmundr earlier and that truly fits this whole part really well, because in the film Aethelstan is portrayed as someone who’s blind and acting in a completely irrational way because he’s in love with Ingilmundr, his oathman. I would also love to point out how Aethelstan is portrayed as a pious christian king who prays and acts only for his own salvation, since he considers himself a sinner for his queerness. There’s so much guilt in that boy and, especially, more than once he’s compared to Alfred: first by Ingilmundr who tells him that he has to be pious so that men would speak of him as they spoke of his grandfather, and second when Aethelstan talks to Uhtred and indirectly compares his sins as worse than the ones of Alfred, so the connection between them is not only about piety, but also sins. Then, no less important, I think it is quiet obvious who Ingilmundr reminds of considering how he was “born a dane but raised saxon”. The parallels are right there and have never been louder.
Another parallel that I want to point out is the connotation between homosexuality and England, that’s particularly connected to the film because in SKMD Aethelstan wants to unite it simply to redeem himself for having a male lover:
Ingilmundr: Perhaps return to your grandfather’s vision for England. Perhaps now there is an urgency to bring the pagans to light.
Aethelstan: Will that cleanse me? Us?
Ingilmundr: Well, surely the greater the lands, the greater the faith. Go beyond what Alfred dreamed of. Look to the islands God made, not the countries ordained by men, and bring all to Christianity. So when you are judged, you will be found in balance. And thus may accept both the sin… and the conquest against it.
Notice how even in this whole thing Alfred sort of remains the greatest sinner of them all, because Ingilmundr here says to bring to christianity the lands that God created and not the ones that men, Alfred, wanted to make, it almost feels as if he’s saying that his sin would only be accepted if he does what God offers him in lands and therefore if he doesn’t put himself above God by being the one who decides which parts to unite and which not. Here Alfred is truly portrayed as someone who has put himself above God in his decisions and thus England would have never cleansed him for his sins, because he was directly sinning while planning it and actually, always back in 2x06, Alfred too considered himself a sinner for the way he was laying the fundations of the country, but not in the way Ingilimundr meant but because “I am reaching out for an England, all in the name of God, yet I am relying upon the strength of a heathen”, so what made him a sinner was his connection to Uhtred.
The thing is that as a consequence in the film England is connected to carnal sins and, indeed, as you have probably realised already when you watched the show, that country has ALWAYS been put in some sexual way, you may call it Alfred’s fav kink. That seriously begins in 1x03 when Alfred is making out with that servant (the same one we have talked about before) and he literally goes like “I will defend you with my life, you stand as everything that is precious, you are Wessex, England, always to be cherished, never to be violated, only to be loved, vigorously”, therefore Alfred arrived to the point of seeing someone as a personification of England and that happens only another time in the show and that is in 2x03 when he says to Uhtred “You are a Saxon who is also a Dane, The very embodiment of the England that must emerge”.
THE VERY EMBODIMENT.
To him Uhtred was the personification of England and now this might be a bittttt too much from me, but even in 3x09 when Alfred is dying his last conversation is about Uhtred and the role he will have in the formation of England, and there Aelswith is trying to make Alfred see that it is wrong because being guided (SO RELYING) by a pagan means straying from God’s rightenous path, but what does Alfred do? He literally defends Uhtred and those are his last few breaths, what has Alfred said to that servant? “I will defend you with my life, […] you are […] England”, and look at Alfred’s final words:
Aelswith: Why are the Danes forever at our door? Because we are being punished, Lord, for the presence of this heathen.
Alfred: He is for England.
Aelswith: He is an outlaw.
Alfred: My England... my love.
Alfred basically dies defending Uhtred and while “My England” could be interpreted as him thinking about the actual country, the whole conversation and the whole parallels both between 1x03 and 2x03, so with the knowledge that to him Uhtred is England, I DON’T KNOW I JUST CAN’T HELP BUT THINK “HMM YOU KNOW WHAT, PERHAPS HE WASN'T TALKING ABOUT ENGLAND ENGLAND”
As you have probably understood, I believe that the moment when Alfred confessed his feelings for Uhtred was in 2x06 and he literally confessed them to Aelswith, so at beginning of S3 she has been knowing it for years.
Now let’s see all of S3 from Aelswith’s point of view. In this season her beloved husband is dying and she's painfully aware he is, even more after Alfred confirms it in 3x02. She knows it will happen, thus she tries to stay at his side as much as possible because Aelswith loved Alfred so much and despite everything (cough cough despite his cheating cough cough), then at some point she witnesses her husband's life be put in danger when he is taken as a hostage by the same man she knows he has feelings for. That man escapes and her husband is abandoned by him and, instead of seeing the anger he's showing to everyone, she sees how broken he is because of that, because she knows that Uhtred did not only break his oath but wholeheartedly broke Alfred’s heart. She has to witness not only her husband’s suffering because of his illness, but also the pain he feels because that man he loves has left him. The nearer her husband gets to his death, the nearer she notices the way he wants to forgive that same man who has made him suffer for years now (s3 starts in 891/892 and Alfred’s death happens in 899), then right before her husband’s passing she finds them together in his study, completely alone. She tries to make her husband reason (indirectly even trying to remind him of how much pain he went through because of him) but instead her husband orders her to leave, she probably hasn’t even seen Uhtred return from the room until late in the evening. Her husband dies not long after and she’s hurt because she has lost the man she's stood by and loved for most of her life, but in all of this… Who’s the one who left her husband? Who’s the one who broke his heart? Who’s the one who in a way could have worsed his condition because of the mental pain he had to go through because of him? Uhtred. So she imprisons Uhtred, threatens to kill him, but then accepts to just exile him, but then, in front of the whole of Winchester, Uhtred gives an entire speech about his relationship with her husband arriving to a point in which he even says that he loved Alfred. This is worsened by the fact that, in her last conversation with him, Alfred was going against her just to defend him.
Aelswith’s anger towards Uhtred is the most understandable reaction ever.
A very interesting scene to me, with the knowledge that Aelswith has this insight of Alfred’s feelings for Uhtred, is the scene where she prays in 3x08, because... THE THINGS SHE SAYS!!
Lord God, give me strength and guidance to do your work. If it is right and proper to rely upon a heathen, albeit for violence, then I beg you... show me a sign. Help me. I want my son to remain untarnished by heathen ways. I wish him to be God's king. Pure.
Here she’s praying for Edward in the prospect of a possible connection to Uhtred in case the latter becomes his oathman once he’s king, but it is the last part of the whole prayer that is fascinating, because in this moment she says what a king is if he’s connected to him and, therefore, the reference to Alfred is undeniable: the king had to be “untarnished by heathen ways” so that he could be “God’s king” and “pure”.
Alfred was connected to Uhtred so he was tarnished by heathen ways, he was not God’s king and he was not pure, all because of it.
Alfred eveasdropped this whole thing and when Aelswith noticed him, they both understood exactly what she was truly talking about and the expression on Alfred’s face was one of someone who actually believed those things about himself as well, and indeed you see that a lot in S3 when he shows more than once that he’s scared that he won’t end up in heaven. In 2x06 there's also another hint at that when he says “I am reaching out for an England, all in the name of God, yet I am relying upon the strength of a heathen, the iron of a pagan”, and when Aelswith tells him “You are God's king, lord" his answer is "Yet at my right hand is a pagan”.
Alfred has always been terrified at the possibility of not ending up in heaven because of what he had with Uhtred, but despite all of that he's always defended him and saved his life multiple times, just as Uhtred did with him.
Since Uhtred arrived in Wessex he has risked death more than once in every season, and Alfred has always tried to find a way to save his life:
1x03, Ubba offered Alfred a peace for silver and Uhtred’s head, Alfred refused and told him that he would have returned to the sword if he didn’t accept only to be paid.
1x05, Uhtred unleashed a sword in front of Alfred during prayers, while screaming at him in front of many people of Winchester. That’s a crime that is supposed to be punished with death, Alfred made him crawl instead.
1x06/1x07, Uhtred, claiming to do Alfred’s business, plundered Cornwall and sided with a Dane against a christian king, Alfred was supposed to kill him immediately, even more when Uhtred, supposed to beg for forgiveness, decided to scream in his face that he would never kneel neither to him nor to his God, but instead Alfred accepted Leofric’s proposal of a fight to the death so that “God would decide”, that means he left the possibility of Uhtred’s survival, even more because he chose the exact day for that fight to happen, which, casually, was on the day of a saint he liked a lot, and indeed the day after he called Uhtred and told him that he didn't like the thought of someone dying on that day. He tried to save him by offering him the option of giving everything back and resuming the debt (since it was with the plunder that he paid it), but Uhtred didn’t want to leave Iseult, so he refused.
2x03, he sent Ragnar to rescue Uhtred from slavery.
3x02, first, he was most likely going to forgive Uhtred for desecrating the cemetery; second, he should have senteced Uhtred to death for killing a monk in front of the whole witan and then escaping (thus worsening his actions), but instead he asked for an oath and spared his life; third, after he threatened his life Alfred did order for him to be killed, but as soon as he escaped he simply banished him from Wessex, he could have made someone follow him, but he didn’t.
3x05, Uhtred was an outlaw, while he was in Mercia Alfred could have still had him killed, since at the end of the day he was one of his enemies, but instead he used the excuse of him having Aethelflaed’s protection. Alfred could have killed him and no one would have said anything about it, but he did not.
3x08/3x09 Uhtred was still an outlaw here and Alfred claimed before that he would have killed him if stepped foot into Wessex, but he did not, instead he even assured his protection for when he knew he wouldn’t have been alive anymore to protect him.
Now, I feel like Alfred has a sort of codependency when it comes to Uhtred. That man constantly wants him next to him and he almost needs him to be there, the fact itself that in 2x05 Odda mentions that Alfred always says the same thing about Uhtred’s hall in Coccham “every time we visit”, hints at them being there quite ofter and there was only a 3 years time jump between the first and second half of S2, so Uhtred has had those lands for 3 years, probably even less, so… Exactly how many times have you visited this man in 3 years, Alfred? But, whether there's actually an element of codependency or not, there's certainly something that pulls them together, and indeed it is explicitly said that Uhtred and Alfred are “bonded" and that for that fact alone they can't kill each other even when they should.
In 3×09 Alfred points a sword to Uhtred's throat and asks him if he believes he could kill him, and to that Uhtred answers “we are bonded, you cannot kill me just as I cannot kill you”, and it’s really fascinating because there's a parallel between that scene and the scene in 5x07 when Uhtred and Brida are fighting and, when she tells him to kill her, he screams at her that they “are bound as one, killing you would be like killing a part of myself”, and Brida and Uhtred were romantically involved.
My point is that it is for this exact reason that Alfred was never able to look at Uhtred and excute him as he was supposed to do so many times, even the only time it very nearly happened (1x07) he left before he could see it, and whenever Uhtred was hit by Leofric during the fight, if you look specifically at Alfred, it almost seems as if he couldn't breathe, so you know there’s a kind of “without you I would be lost and I wouldn’t be myself anymore” for the both of them, and you can see that especially in the one who had to live further when the other actually died: Uhtred.
Uhtred very much always clings onto a few things and people, but the more he loses those he cares for the most, the more he loses himself. S3 is truly the start of Uhtred’s sort of radical change, indeed the man in SKMD is almost nothing like the man in S1, and what made it possible was that season.
In S3 Uhtred faces many losses: first he loses Gisela, so literally the love of his life (she was and I will die on that hill), second his brother Ragnar, then he loses Alfred, and not even a few days after his sister Thyra dies.
Gisela’s death has started Uhtred’s fall, and since he got cursed and was, very understandbly, in so much pain, everything escalated very quickly.
He killed Godwin to defend Gisela’s honour and he was obviously hurt by what he perceived as Alfred’s disinterest in defending Gisela, as he himself in 3x04 complains about in a very hurt way that Alfred “allowed her to be called a whore” (even though Alfred did try to make Godwin stop, but Uhtred simply couldn’t hear it because he was too enraged), therefore he betrays him and then subsequentially feels absolutely so guilty about it that he arrives to the point where Leofric, as the personification of his conscience, lets us know that he believed he deserved to died because of what he did to Alfred. As soon as the first occasion arises (Aethelflaed is in danger) he immediately leaves, which you can see was already on his mind as soon as Brida suggested him destroying Alfred, thus he abandons his brother. He then finds out that Ragnar died and he thinks it’s his fault because he left him (though there could have probably been little he could have done to prevent it even if he stayed there), then he suddenly meets Alfred again and he sees how much he's hated by him, or so Uhtred believes, so he falls in an even worse emotional state than before. After some time, Beocca asks him to meet Alfred and Uhtred himself wonders “what makes you think he would speak with me?”, which just shows how much he truly thought that Alfred despised him, but he goes to meet him anyway and he speaks to him. For the first time since they have met they are honest to each other and Alfred shows him actual trust and even love in a way, but then Alfred dies not even a week after (probably the day after they talked actually), so even if they were finally at peace with each other, Alfred still died and they had no way to enjoy that tranquility.
Now all of this took a very obvious emotional toll on Uhtred and I believe that Alfred is one of the biggest because he knew that he going to die, and yet, because of Skade's curse as Uhtred believed it to be, he wasted those final years they could have had together. That man meant a lot to Uhtred and in the books there's this quote that always gets me:
I stood beside Alfred’s coffin and thought how life slipped by, and how, for nearly all my life, Alfred had been there like a great landmark.
And that’s so terribly true because, compared to all the deaths before, it is important to notice that Alfred was the one who was there the most, more than Gisela and even more than Ragnar himself, since the latter left for Ireland right before Uhtred became Earl Ragnar’s son. Indeed when Alfred dies you can immediately see a change in demanor in Uhtred, which is striking because compared to many other deaths he went through, Uhtred remains silent in face of many things, for example during Alfred’s funeral he's imprisoned but doesn’t say a word, the only time he utters something is to tell Finan to do nothing. S1 Uhtred would have never reacted in such a way.
Still in prison, you can see that he goes near a very dangerous edge when he finds out that Thyra died, and that edge is finally overstepped in 4x03 with Beocca’s death, and it is from this death onwards that Uhtred is a completely different person. The process started with Gisela's death, culminated with Alfred’s and exploded with Beocca’s.
As I said Uhtred always clings to people and Uhtred has always been sort of in denial for Alfred’s death. He always dismissed the actual possibility of him dying, even when he himself noticed the signs, even when Alfred himself told him that he was about to and yet that man was still there like “Skade preys on men's fears, Lord”, says the man who at that time believed every single word she said. The thing is that I believe Uhtred remained in denial even after Alfred died, because yes he was with his God, but there was a part of Alfred that still lived: his dream.
From Alfred's death onwards, Uhtred works both directly and indirectly for the dream of an England, indeed he actually proves his loyalty to that man more after he died than when he was alive, and that has a lot to do with the fact that it was the last connection he had with him, as in a way it was also for Aelswith if you think about it, but also there was the aspect that, before dying, Alfred entrusted it in his hands and, since Uhtred spent the whole of S3 considering himself a traitor and blaming himself for it, if that man shows you one last trust, a trust you have yearned for your whole life, even more with the thing you know is most precious to him, what do you do? You are willing to do anything you can to make sure that that dream happens, to make sure that you can prove your loyalty, to show that you can keep one last oath to him and make it up for the one you broke.
That is painfully obvious in the film.
In the film Uhtred has made Northumbria an unified place, and it is actually the first time the whole of it is under one single king (even if Uhtred doesn’t call himself that), which was what Alfred has wanted all along, because he knew that the main problem would have been that particular kingdom, so with this action Uhtred has paved the way for the upcoming unification of England.
In 3x09 Alfred told him that his last act as king was to make sure that good men held power and that's one of the main things Uhtred was doing. Uhtred has known Alfred for 28 years of his life, he spent countless times with him, so he knew what Alfred would have wanted and every single decision he took in the film was so obviously made with the thought in mind of Alfred's wishes, and indeed Uhtred held the reins until he knew there was someone fitting to rule, a good man, just as his king would have wanted.
One of the most beautiful things to me is that Uhtred was lord of Bebbanburg at the time, so lord of the fortress he has waited his whole life to get back to, and yet he was mostly and more concerned about Alfred’s dream dying rather than the survival of that. Uhtred was also in a situation where he didn’t want to fight anymore, he didn’t even particularly believed he was still a warrior, and yet as soon as that dream was threatened, he didn’t hesitate once. That man was even forbidden to take part of the battle, since it would have been too dangerous for him, but he didn’t trust anyone else to protect Alfred’s dream and thus Uhtred went and died for it.
That man would have never died if he listened to Aethelstan's commands, but he defied them to not betray the little trust Alfred put in him right before he passed.
When he went back to Bebbanburg he didn’t even allow himself to die until he knew that there was an England out there and that Alfred’s lineage was on the throne of it, and during that scene he says that all he wanted was to be honoured in valhalla for “standing by an oath”, which yes can be interpreted as the oath of protecting Aethelstan, but remember that in S3, in Uhtred's mind, he did the most terrible thing of them all by breaking his oath to Alfred. Making England happen was the only way he could have forgiven himself for it, absolutely striking is the moment when the dream is fulfilled and you can how Uhtred is on the verge of tears and I think that has to do with two main reasons: first, he knew that with that Alfred would have finally known and understood how he could have never have betrayed him, and second, Alfred’s work was finished and there was nothing that kept him alive in his mind anymore.
Uhtred died soon after that so, in my mind, he totally met Alfred again at some point. In the show, for Thyra who was in a situation where she still believed in valhalla but was actually a christian, it was accepted the view of being in both places, therefore it is most likely the same for Uhtred, you know, a whole concept of peace rather than an actual place.
Dying for England is the most obvious declaration of love from Uhtred’s part, but if we want to point out actual words, Uhtred in 3x10 says that Alfred was “a man I loved and despised”, and he even calls him “my king”, which is something Uhtred will never do again for anyone. For the other kings he always just refers to them as “our”, therefore he speaks for his people and not for himself, but for Alfred? Oh, that’s a “my”.
For Alfred the thing was different because the man was a christian with so much guilt inside, it would have been way more difficult for him to say out loud that he loved Uhtred.
I do believe though that he did say it in subtext when he told him that “I should have closed my eyes and rattled at Heaven’s gate some time ago, it was the hope of this meeting that has kept me alive”, which is a lot, considering that the man was suffering like hell because of his illness, and yet he held onto life just for the purpose of seeing Uhtred one last time. It is also very interesting that on his deathbed he asked Uhtred “are you here or is it my sickness?”, because it hints at the possibility of Alfred having hallucinatione of Uhtred in the past when he was ill and WHY WOULD YOU EVER SEE SOME MAN WHEN YOU FEEL UNWELL? AND ESPECIALLY WHY ARE YOU NOT EVEN SURPRISED THAT YOUR MIND COULD HAVE CONJURED UHTRED COMING TO YOUR CHAMBERS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? There’s only one answer to that:
You are gay for that man and you are in love with him.
They both were.
So anon, the answer to your question is: Yes, I do believe that they had feelings for each other.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk!
#if anyone seriously read all of this know that you have my most devoted love#i first focused on alfred and then on uhtred#there's a double space when i switch to uhtred's part#so many other things would be interesting to point honestly#like for example the way from the books you know that uhtred doesn't want to be called king because of alfred#but it was too long already#hopefully some of this makes sense#thank you for asking and sorry once again for taking such a long time!!#the last kingdom#alfred x uhtred#tlk alfred#uhtred#seven kings must die#god even in the tags i have made a typo#forgot to add 'out' to point so it is supposed to be 'point out'#it's 2am okay#asks
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actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.
#hal jordan#empyrean posting#ok going in the tags because im not actually v confident in my understanding of his character. i read all of his 80s/90s stuff but forgot#90% of it but ANYWAY.#so much of him just does not make sense with how geoff johns characterises him and his relationships with his parents particularly the#parallax stuff simply because of how much his relationship with the guardians and their apathy/'betrayal' is influenced by hal's original#relationship with his dad. like at its heart it's pretty much the same dynamic in how hal blindly trusts and sort of idolises the guardians#despite their repeated infractions in hope of... something in return just as he had with his father and the abuse he suffered at martin's#hands. that's what makes his anger at the guardians make sense when it does show itself because the relationship parallel didn't stop there.#as with martin hal gets nothing for his devotion. he gets nothing for doing everything that's asked of him and more and it ends the same way#too: with a man in the sky burning like a newborn star. and you lose so much of that nuance and intrigue behind that if you just make#jessica the 'bad one' because!!! you cheapen it!!!!#the whole idea of hal is that he has his father's face but his mother's scars#(to me). in the sense that they both reacted to martin the same way with that cognisance of who he was as a man yet inability to pull away#because... love. both the love they had for him and the conviction that he did or could love them too. and jessica arguably did eventually#but also she didnt did she? because she held onto that notion of love till the very end. the few scraps she had she ballooned outwards until#they became the whole. but hal didnt have even that and he spent his whole life chasing it & running away from wanting it at the same time#like i think there's something so interesting to the fact that he had to be convinced that flying was what he wanted to do. how much of that#was touched by his father? the fear that he was already too much like him than he could bear to be? he already had his face now he had his#dreams and longing for the sky. how much more could he have before he began repeating the cycle?#and at the end he even had his father's death. burning in the clouds. like there's so much there and that's not even touching on how it#impacts his relationships with other heroes. not just in the sense of why did kyle clark and diana get to keep their close yet complex#relationships with their moms when hal had to lose his (although yeah why did they) but also just how he lets himself come across to them.#because it's on purpose right? that he lets them think his reflection of his father is born out of unadulterated love for a man worthy of it#? he has his father's job he wears his father's jacket he smiles his father's smile. what else are they supposed to think.#and isnt that interesting!!! that this man who is so committed to being good & just can lie so casually to people he thinks of as friends!!!#can you see how that might be his mother through and through!!! in how she might have glossed over the abuse to other people and herself!!!#can you see how in spite of it all he might want to be perceived as his father that paragon of masculinity and resent that he is not!!!#do you understand how everything he loves has been poisoned!!! im thinking of that scene where he tells bruce about watching martin die &#wouldnt it have been so much more interesting through this lens. how he is both revealing & obfuscating at once. i hate the change sm
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hehehe. kunichuu ponytail. you know the one
crazy idea. wonder who would ever write something like that.
#everyone who didn't already know i was writing this look AWAYYYYYY do not perceive me#ness tag#asks#grace's writing tag#kunichuu#MIND THE RATING. BTW PLEASE#i know i have minors following me and while i cant Stop you from clicking i must at least warn you#oh my god i cant believe i forgot the most important tag#🐶.txt
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There's this thing I'm curious/confused about. If Ankarna refused to lend her powers to her followers if they were going after Ruvina or Cassandra. How come the shards attacked Cassandra? Was there some sort of loophole since some of them turned non followers into rage monsters. Including Kalina who dealt the killing blow. But even then wasn't it still Ankarna's powers that corrupted them?
#dimension 20#dimension 20 spoilers#d20 spoilers#fhjy spoilers#d20#fhjy#if someone already asked my bad but I searched and didn't find anything#i'm just so curious like maybe since it was the astral plane porter and co had more power#ankarna#ankarna x cassandra#forgot to tag them and I fully thought there was an h in her name
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probably the most constant thing of my life has been the social isolation and loneliness i experience
since i was a young child, i’ve always struggled to make and find friends, and often was left alone
for a long time, nothing could defeat my spirits and will to make friends, and even the loneliness wasn’t enough to make me stop
nowadays, it gets to me, the loneliness, and i often wonder if i’ll have all the friends i’ve deserved all along
#audhdrhys#lonelyrhys#i had a lot of fake friends growing up#and i was gullible a lot so people act one way and then another and i fell for it each time they did it#often times my “friends” were just there to use me as playmates and not real friends who cared about my boundaries and interests#and some of them didn’t consider me their friend and forgot about me the minute i left their daily lives#some ran away from me cuz i was weird#but most of the time i just remember being alone#i remember not knowing how to make friends#i remember being too scared to and asking my sister to make friends for me#which she would and they would always favor her#i was just the tag along nobody really wanted there#and that’s how it usually went#and i was homeschooled growing up and i didn’t go to many groups or anything like that so i was already isolated from society just from tha#but the loneliness through that all has stuck with me#i still don’t know how to make friends very well#i still wonder if everyone finds me offputting#and i still wonder if they’re faking being my friend and don’t actually care about me#even though i have some and am grateful for them#the loneliness stays#lonely#lonely childhood#childhood memories#childhood#friends#audhd experiences#audhd#audhd problems#audhd child
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I know you said you need to stop screaming first but I am EAGERLY awaiting your thoughts on Essek in the teaser
OKAY OKAY HERE GOES.
The thing is, there's no real reason to include him.
Yes, he's very popular, but he has never historically been included as a default, validly! He occupies a very interesting space mechanically and narratively, but he is still not a PC. Yes, he's part of the Mighty Nein as a group, per canon, but not until the end, which in theory would be well beyond the first season, and so is Cad, who is not present in this teaser—presumably to preserve the mystery around [INSERT MAJOR SPOILER WARNING HERE].
I would imagine that Cad is not present because having Taliesin's voice twice is too much of a tipoff for anyone watching LoVM but not the campaigns, whereas simply having Matt voice someone is not.
HOWEVER.
There are a decent number of lines that you could choose for Essek that are about the Nein—personally, my favorite, that I've thought previously would make a really stellar trailer line, is from 124: "You certainly carve a unique destiny, don't you?" Everything down to the way Matt delivers it (which you can see here) would make it a really viable option.
But the line they went with isn't about the Nein—it's very much a line about Essek himself. "I want to unlock these mysteries. I want to dive as deep as I can into that ocean of the unknown and see what is possible." It's a line that is very specific to Essek and his actions and goals, even beyond his involvement with the Nein.
And it's placed in the middle of the pack, which frames him on the same level as the rest of the Nein! Someone who is not familiar with the campaign would hear that as simply another protagonist. But of course, he's not—unless there is some serious restructuring (more even than the restructuring present in LoVM, which, aside from introducing a few of the initial less plot-bearing aspects later, like the Slayer's Take, it's thus far structured in order), he won't come into the show for quite some time, and almost certainly not in the first season.
But we don't really have any idea how this show will be structured. There are different comments on the beginning from different sources; notably, Gizmodo mentions Calianna being present in some way initially, while no one else does. The logline most outlets are reporting revolves the Nein "prevent[ing] the kingdom from plunging into chaos when an arcane artifact capable of reshaping reality falls into the wrong hands," presumably the beacon (my beloved).
So it makes sense to mention Essek, for, you know, the obvious reasons, as comment on the beacon itself. (I'm going to guess they're simplifying it to one beacon, per the press release, for ease lol.) But this line, while about dunamancy as a whole and the powers of the beacon, is not about it directly. It's still about Essek's interest in it. It is an excellent line, and on its face, it has nothing to do with the Nein or the plot of the first fifty episodes of the campaign.
There's plenty of speculation to be done about how this might be structured, and I'm sure I'll do plenty of it because, let's be honest, I do not shut up about adaptation and translating stories between formats, it is one of my absolute favorite subjects, and this is the Nein, babey!!!
So my point here being: I think there is a lot of room with the nature of Wildemount politics to get a little wild with structure in the translation from D&D game to TV show that, while not impossible in LoVM, wouldn't really have added anything to the story, and honestly, might've taken away from it. Because the point is to watch Vox Machina become the big damn heroes! We do see tidbits of Brimscythe and the Briarwoods beyond the purview of the heroes, but mostly in ways that feel very '80s cartoon villain cameo' which fits the feel of the show perfectly.
But there are a lot of political players and forces in Wildemount that the Nein navigate whether they're aware of them or not, one of whom of course becomes a member of their party, and that's part of what makes their story so interesting. The Nein are the heroes that no one knows, who are always playing within and against the system and are hyper aware of that, and I think expanding how much of that we get to see now that the format allows for it (not necessarily a lot, not to the point of adding whole plotlines, but at least some of it) would only add to the tension and stakes, and Essek's presence in the trailer makes me wonder if they will.
#not pictured: me sitting at my computer hollering while I power through writing both this and my fucking work emails#the work emails are uhhhh going fine. I'm being so productive. don't even worry about it.#(I am actually staying on top of things to be clear lmfao I also write very quickly)#critical role#mighty nein animated#cr spoilers#I gUESS???#cr meta#long post#anyway now someone ask me about how much I am chinhands kicking my heels thinking about the TONE of this show and lovm#I mean do not get me started. nope don't have time for it. BUT I'M FASCINATED ALREADY#sorry I didn't put it under a cut#I forgot I mentioned I was gonna while tagging
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